#what is it about road trips that makes me so sappy?

[stiltsthegm]

GOTY 2024 #6 - American Truck Simulator

I played a LOT of Truck Simulator this year. Nearly 60 hours of it, in fact. There's one particular session that sticks out in my memories, though.

My girlfriend and I are hanging out in a Discord server, and I'm streaming Truck Simulator for her. It's not a formal date, we just need to vibe for a bit, and other members of the polycule drop in and out when they want to chill for a bit too. I'm currently doing deliveries in Texas, and I show her the map. She sees Brownsville--one of the places she grew up--and asks me if I could head over there.

I spent the next hour or so in that area, often just driving around, not to complete any type of objective. Just to explore. She'd ask me to go down a particular street and then see if she could recognize a familiar intersection. She told me stories of the places she'd visit in her free time. I traveled all the way down to Boca Chica Beach, the southernmost point that Truck Simulator allows you to actually visit, and she talked about all the times she went to that beach with her family, before Elon put a goddamn launch pad on top of it. That part is, unfortunately, simulated in the game, too. One of the few times I wished Truck Simulator wasn't quite as dedicated to verisimilitude.

That's what makes this game special to me, though. It's not exactly real life, but it's close enough to cause our brains to shake off some dust and pull some memories out of the attic. I make a delivery from Phoenix to Flagstaff and remember the times I've done that same drive: first, with my family, to visit the Grand Canyon together; next, on my own, to explore Flagstaff itself and the surrounding parks; and finally, with my sedan loaded up with as many personal belongings as I could stuff in it, moving all of it to Minnesota over the course of 4 long days.

So much of our lives are tied to these dense grids and spindly, endless highways. A space so vast it can often be isolating. I type my house and my girlfriend's into Google Maps and note the distance: 17 hours and change, it tells me. In Truck Simulator's condensed simulacra, that would maybe take a couple hours; though it's hard to say for sure, since they haven't added Minnesota yet.

I wish it was that easy. I wish we could all visit each other when we really needed it, or whenever we had the whim to. More than even spaceships, laser swords, wizards or dragons, that's the part of video game escapism I wish most to be real: the contraction of space, everything you love just a short trip away.

[eliashirsch]

Sweet Mornings

Bradley wakes up, like most mornings, warm and comfortable in his bed. He managed to tangle the blanket around himself like a burrito, only his head peeking out to feel the cold morning breeze flowing through the ajar window. He peeks an eye open, watching the sliver of light appear and disappear through the swaying curtain. The clock on the wall reads seven thirty-eight.

He cracks his jaw open with a yawn, a full-body shiver running through him. Wiggling his toes and poking them out from the blanket, he immediately shrivels back in at the cold. 

“Hm,” he whines, burying deeper into his pillow. “Jake…”

No one comes. Bradley closes his eyes again and pouts. Having a boyfriend means he should come at his beck and call. Where is that Texan fucker?

“Right here, honey.”

Bradley smiles, a Pavlovian response. How can he not when his beloved is drawing out his favored pet name that exaggerated southern twang. Jake’s voice has some rasp to it, so he mustn’t have been awake for long. 

“Miss me that much?” Jake asks, sliding behind Bradley to wrap around his waist, smooching a kiss to the back of his ears. “I was only gone for a minute.”

“Hm. It’s cold. Where did you go?”

“Getting the mail. Ice and Mav sent their latest postcard.”

“Where are they now?”

“Venice. They sound happy.”

“God, I hope so. If they come back still bitching at each other I’m going to hire a hitman to kidnap Mav.”

“Then Ice will really burn this world down to get him back, babe,” Jake reminds, tracing lines on Bradley’s stomach, though it goes unfelt from the thick blanket. “You ever wanna go on a road trip?”

“What? Like them?”

“Mh-hm.”

“When are we gonna find the time?”

“We have some leave saved up.”

“Not that much to travel the world.”

“You know, Jessie was talking to me about her boyfriend last week. Something about if he wanted to, he would?”

Bradley huffs, shaking his head. “I’m just saying. We’re busy people. We can’t exactly drop everything to go away for days at a time.”

“If he wanted to, he would,” Jake repeats, though without heat. He drags Bradley closer to his chest, spreading his hands so that they’re splayed on Bradley’s chest, right on his heart. Bradley wonders if he can feel his quickening heartbeat on his fingertips. “If you could, where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere in the world?”

“Anywhere in the world.”

Bradley thinks about it for a second, brain taking its sweet time to catch up. He thinks about Ice and Mav, his two dads finally getting the time to live without death hanging over their heads, who get to hold each other’s hands with lessened fear about someone making a huge fuss about it. Who got their happy endings.

He thinks about those two sappy old timers and his chest warms just like when he looks at Jake. Proof that people like him can be happy. 

He turns his head, finding his boyfriend, hair rumpled, eyes still soft, mouth quirked up in a genuine smile and not a mocking one. Whipped, Natasha would say. Bradley lifts his head and pecks his boyfriend’s lips. Once, twice, three times. They smell like morning breath, but at this point, neither of them mind. They’ve tasted each other at their worst. 

“I’d go anywhere in the world.” Bradley rubs their noses together, the same way he and his mom used to do all the time. “Just as long as you’re there with me.”

“Sap,” Jake teases, but his ears and cheeks are red, crumpling under affection so sweetly. “Such a fucking sap, Bradshaw.”

“Only for you, honey.”

[glazesunflower]

may i ask for some dating headcannons with focalors the hydro archon? :3

Dating Furina/Focalors Headcanons

Characters: Furina/Focalors x GN!Reader.

Warnings: None that apply!

Notes: I was waiting to play the first Fontaine Archon Quest to get a grasp of her character before writing this. I have to say, I absolutely love this gremlin and bratty Archon. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. (The last ones are my favorite <3)

Furina is flamboyant, imprudent and she lives for the thrill of the drama and the validation of those around her, so you’ll have to be very understanding and patient with her and the fair amount of mishaps that she will surely cause. So be prepared!

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She doesn’t really voice it, she’s too proud for that, but she absolutely loves the way you’ve become her anchor, helping to balance out her impulsive nature with your calm and understanding demeanor. When she's on the brink of making a hasty decision, you're there to gently guide her, reminding her to consider all perspectives and consequences before acting. And she takes your advice to heart, be proud of that!

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She struggles internally a lot with the pressure of her public image. Of course, she doesn’t say this directly to you, but you can see how it affects her, and so you write for her heartfelt letters whenever she's facing a tough situation. She doesn’t really make much of a fuss about them, but internally your words of encouragement and reminders of her strengths become her source of comfort, and she rereads them many more times than she’s willing to admit. She even has a special box where she keeps them all. But don’t ask her about it!

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But it’s not all sappy stuff, your relationship with her is very adventurous and fun! Furina absolutely loves a good thrill and an outstanding performance in everything she does, so you’re of course expected to tag along in all of her endeavors. Whether it's exploring a new case that’s just taken place, trying out quirky local restaurants, or taking impromptu road trips through Fontaine, you both find joy in the thrill of the new things you try together!

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Furina absolutely thrives on positive attention and affirmation. She is always very touched by your heartfelt compliments and words of encouragement (she probably won’t say it, mind you, but she would engrave your words in her mind to always come back to them). Express your admiration for her skills, charisma, and unique qualities and Furina will glow, feeling appreciated and loved. Keep them coming, she can’t get enough!

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After some time of her being with you, Furina will slowly (and I mean, very slowly) feel comfortable enough with letting her guard down around you. And that is no easy feat! She’s constantly thinking that she will be judged by whatever she says wrong, so you should feel immensely lucky that she’s willing to trust you with her innermost turmoils! (Her words.) In time, you create a safe space where she can express her insecurities without fear of judgment, because you’re kind like that and you love her. You encourage Furina to have a ton of heartfelt conversations, and slowly you help her understand that she doesn't have to be perfect to be loved. It’s still a work in progress, but she’ll get there.

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Furina is a sucker for gifts. After all, what better way for others to express their admiration for her, right? But the ones she loves the most are yours, of course. The gifts and tokens of your affection hold special meanings, since you picked them out knowing she’d like them. Like a charm to remind her of her resilience or a piece of art that reflects her flamboyant personality and you thought, “Oh, this reminds me of her!”. Keep doing that. She can’t get enough of it.

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Knowing how much she loves and treasures positive attention, you organize surprise events or gatherings to celebrate Furina’s accomplishments, no matter how small they are. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it (She deserves all the praise and attention, after all!), but you see the brightest smile dancing on her lips the whole day, and that’s how you see how much she values these moments. These thoughtful gestures show Furina that you genuinely appreciate her efforts and want to support her in all aspects of her life. She will try even harder this time, if only for you to praise her more.

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Your relationship with her is also full of laughter. You tease each other constantly, at all times, sharing inside jokes, and find humor in the quirks of everyday life together. Furina knows you have an ability to make her smile even in challenging times and she silently appreciates you so much for her. Still, you tease her too much. And she is the embodiment of the divine, she can’t have you teasing her in public!

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With the passing of the time by your side (and I mean, at a very slow pace!), Furina starts to overcome her need for constant validation from others. She slowly becomes more confident in her abilities in the court and outside of it, and she learns to embrace her imperfections (her impulsivity, childlike temper, the constant bravado and drama, the list goes on!), understanding that you love her for who she truly is. Really, how could you not? She’s impressive and heavenly! It’s only natural you’re head over heels and completely in love with her! (She’s working on her arrogance, too).

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Furina loves the spotlight more than anything else in the world (well, she only likes you more, and that’s saying something!), so sometimes you plan extravagant date nights that cater to her love for the spotlight. Whether it's a private outdoor performance under the stars or a playful evening of reenacting dramatic scenes from her favorite plays, you keep the excitement alive for her. And she thrives in every minute of it.

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When it comes to physical touch, Furina is by far not used to it at the very beginning, so she’s fairly unsure when it comes to it. But she’s quick to realize that your gentle pats on her back, walking around with linked arms, or even a reassuring touch on her shoulder during moments of stress in the courtroom make her feel so much better instantly! Is this some kind of heavenly magic? 

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Furina quickly starts to associate your touch with positive emotions. Holding hands with you during a thrilling adventure or wrapping an arm around your waist while watching a dramatic play becomes something she really, really likes doing. 

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And when you introduce cuddling to her, Furina finds a whole new world to explore and enjoy. Whether it's lounging on your couch or stargazing, Furina wants to be in your arms at all times, if she has any say in the matter! Let her nuzzle into your neck and stay there for a while, she feels the safest she’s ever felt.

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Furina enjoys your touch very much. She does not enjoy, however, how you playfully tease her with light touches, tickles, and gentle bumps! She’s the embodiment of justice, you can’t just have her wiggling and choking on laughter beneath you, how unsightly! (She absolutely loves it).

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Furina has associated your touch with comfort and safety, so don’t be surprised when she comes to you after an especially hard day. Yes, she messed up in the courtroom today, but you’ll let her rest against you, won’t you? Your hugs and embraces become her safe haven. Sometimes she will open up and admit what happened that day. Others, she simply wants to enjoy your arms holding her tight in silence. In either case, she deeply appreciates you being there for her. She won’t voice it, of course, but you’ll know in the way she presses her forehead closer to you and the angle of your neck.

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She also finds that physical touch is very useful! She starts using her own touch on you as a way to express her emotions. A soft kiss on your cheek in the morning, a warm hug after a long day, or even a surprise tackle or an affectionate nudge as you tease each other becomes her way of saying "I care about you" without needing dramatic and flamboyant words. How practical! She will keep showering you with her divine affection for many more years to come!

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Having Furina as a significant other is no easy feat, it takes a lot of courage, determination, and most of all, a big amount of patience and understanding. Still, she is the most vibrant and colorful part of your life, so you wouldn’t have it any other way. With her, you become her partner in both the thrilling moments and the challenges of her life. Your love and support help her navigate her insecurities and embrace her true self, helping to nurture a romance that's passionate and tender and all the beautiful things in between.

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking or reblogging it <3!

You can check more of my writing on (this link!). Thank you!

[chukys-mouthguard]

i’d love to see you write something with the prompt “call me cheesy or a fool, but I needed to wish you sweet dreams” with joseph woll! just pure tooth-rotting sweetness and love

Prompt: “call me cheesy or a fool, but i needed to wish you sweet dreams”

Note: i swear he just exudes teddy bear fluff ball energy and i love it

There was no better feeling than finally being able to take your makeup off after a long day. Washing your face, throwing your hair in a messy bun, and climbing into bed buried under more blankets than one human should ever need.

Closing your eyes as all you could think about was-

Buzz buzz buzz, buzz buzz buzz

Opening your eyes with a groan, your arm flung to your bedside table to grab your phone as it buzzed. Wondering who was calling you and disrupting your peace.

“Joseph Woll, you better have a pretty good reason for calling me. Especially since we just got off the phone, I don’t know 10 minutes ago!”

He laughed at your playful scolding, knowing you could never truly be mad at him. You and Joseph had been dating for a few months now, and the one thing that had already become a staple was nightly phone calls when he was on the road. Although tonight that apparently changed to multiple phone calls since he’d now called you again.

“No no no, it’s a great reason actually!”

Rolling your eyes as you smiled into the phone, not able to control your childlike giddiness he made you feel when he got excited to talk to you.

“I’m waiting Joseph!”

Responding in a sing-song tone as you rolled over in bed, pulling the covers up tight to your chest.

“Call me cheesy or a fool, but I needed to wish you sweet dreams.”

Your cheeks bright red and blushing, he was definitely right that was cheesy, but it made you smile from ear to ear. Joseph was the kind of cheesy remarks, and it made you fall for him more and more each day. The way he could get you to blush and laugh at the drop of a hat, and he used it to his advantage.

“Josephhhhh! You’re such a pain in my butt!”

“I know I know, but I always tell you sweet dreams. And I forgot. And, well-“ his voice now at a whisper, surely his roommate for the road trip had joined him in the room and he was trying his best to not get caught being a sappy boy.

“we’ve been on a win streak ever since I started telling you sweet dreams. And, I feel like that’s gotta be good luck or something?”

Shaking your head you could not begin to wrap your head around how you got stuck with such an adorable teddy bear of a man.

“So what happens when you lose? You won’t tell me sweet dreams anymore?”

Pouring into the phone, Joseph quickly protested the idea. “Oh my gosh, I did make it seem like that huh? Of course I’ll keep saying it, I just, dang it I goofed on that one huh?”

The two of you laughing before you’d let out a yawn, letting him know you did need to get some sleep.

“Well, if and when the day comes we lose, I’ll just start a new thing to say to you before I hand up. But for now, sweet dreams baby girl.”

[toournextadventure]

everyone but her pt.14

Summary: Spring break is over, and so are the careless days. School is back and you're avoiding Wednesday. Everyone knows it and she just wants to know why. Why won't you tell her?

Word Count: 6.6k Warnings: hints at child abuse, violence, injuries, blood, swearing, Birb has no filter Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Reader (everyone but her Masterlist) Taglist: @extinctspino @basichextechml @cfvgbhndun-new-blog @jinxscatbomb @awolfcsworld @n0p35 @suzhiman @gengen64 @eclipsesmoonshine14 @asters-abditory @alexkolax @thenextdawn @cacciatricediartemide @cozwaenot @the-night-owl-blr @natashasapphic @parkersmyth @alilbitlesbian @irish-piece-of-trash @rainbow-love4ever @audigay @bakugounuggets

“Thank you again for bringing me here,” you said as you grabbed your duffel bag from Lurch.

The hospital was, thankfully, not too busy thanks to everyone heading home after the holidays. Not that you would ever openly explain it, but it was the exact reason you preferred going on Sundays. Whether by luck or the grace of god, the Addamses didn’t question when you had asked them to make a short detour to DHMC, and they still weren’t asking questions.

“Will you be able to get back to Nevermore?” Morticia asked. Her hand felt warm on your shoulder; it was nice.

“I’ll just fly,” you said simply. “My bag isn’t too heavy.”

“Very well, dear,” Morticia said with a smile before giving your shoulder a squeeze and stepping back.

“A hug for the road, then.” You didn’t have any time to think before Gomez enveloped you in his arms.

It’s prefacing pain, your mind told you as he continued to hold you tight. It’s a hug, your heart argued, just a hug. And you wanted to lift your arms and hug him back because he had been so kind the entire week. He had taught you, respected you, enjoyed having you around. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t fight all those years of staying away, and you couldn’t hug him back and the sting of tears made its home behind your eyes.

He pulled away with a smile and was quickly replaced by Pugsley. This one, you thought, I can handle this one. It was just like a hug from Alex, at least that’s what you told yourself. Your arms felt like lead until finally they wrapped around Pugsley’s shoulders to hug him back.

“Thanks for making my sister happy,” he whispered loud enough for only you to hear.

You didn’t even have time to think about the depth of his words before he pulled away with a closed-mouth smile. He was sweet. Every part of him reminded you more and more of Alex, or even a younger Nicky. You wanted to protect him with every part of your being.

Stop being so sappy.

“Let me know if those guys try anything again,” you said just as quietly so Wednesday couldn’t hear. He smiled.

“Tell your brother I said hi,” was all he said in reply.

Wednesday stepped forward next; you didn’t get a hug, but that was alright. You weren’t expecting one. She gave you a look that trailed over your face almost as if she was looking for something. As unusual as it was to admit to yourself, it felt almost as if she cared. As if she liked you.

She kissed you! Your mind screamed at you. She must like you a little bit! But a kiss didn’t necessarily mean anything, right? It hadn’t meant anything with your ex, why would it mean something with Wednesday? You wanted it to mean something, by god you did, but what if you were wrong?

“Don’t be late,” Wednesday at last. “I’m not checking on you in the morning.”

“I won’t be late,” you reiterated.

Everyone told you their goodbyes one final time before getting in the car and finishing the drive to Nevermore. You stood on the sidewalk and watched until the car was out of sight. Their absence settled in your chest almost instantly, but you pushed it down, grabbed your bag, and started your way into the hospital.

“Welcome back, doll,” Nurse Jackie said when you passed the desk. “Were you on a trip?”

“Spring break at Wednesday’s place,” you answered. “Has he behaved?”

“A good spring break, I see.” You tilted your head at her words, but when she touched a spot on her neck and raised her brow, you felt your entire face heat up. Nurse Jackie just laughed and gestured her head to Nicky’s door. “He’s been good.”

“Sup, dickwad,” you called out as you tossed your duffel into the corner of the room and plopped down in the chair beside Nicky’s bed. “Nurse Jackie said you’ve been a pain in the ass.”

“I did not,” Nurse Jackie said quickly from her desk across the hall, causing you to laugh to yourself.

“Wanna hear about the crime I committed over spring break?” You asked, finally reclining back and putting your feet up on the bed. The heart monitor spiked twice. “Too bad, I’m telling you anyway.”

From across the hall, Jackie listens as you recount your spring break to Nicky. It was always nice to hear you laughing and joking around. Not once did you ever get a response, but it brought a lighter atmosphere to the ICU. Of course there were the days you would succumb to the situation and there would be nothing but silence coming from the room, but days like today? Those were the days that made things a little easier.

Every now and then one of the nurses would go in to check on you and make sure neither you nor Nicky needed anything, and you would have them talking and laughing for hours on end if they didn’t excuse themselves. They had learned after the first few months that it was your coping mechanism. You simply distracted yourself and others from the situation at hand.

“Time to shave,” Jackie said as she finally walked into the room. You were still sitting with your feet up on the bed, flipping through the channels on the TV to no avail. “Wanna help?”

“Absolutely,” you said, tossing the remote onto the chair as you stood up. “I’m gonna make you look so goofy,” Jackie heard you mumble to Nicky.

She kept her own smile to herself as she got everything all set up. Honestly, it wasn’t the most professional of her to allow you to help, but she couldn’t help it. You had been present for most everything over the past three years, she (and all the other nurses, admittedly) could be forgiven for allowing you to help. There was something Jackie had remembered you telling her one night near the beginning of Nicky’s eternal stay in the ICU.

“It feels like I’m helping,” you had said after she had shown you how to turn and reposition him. “Like it’s not my fault.”

After that, you became an integral part of Nicky’s care whenever you visited. The initial guilt (at least outwardly) was gone, but you were still eager to help. Without prompting, you lathered the shaving cream and started putting it on Nicky’s face.

“Behave,” Jackie said sternly when she turned around and saw the… lewd image you were making with the shaving cream.

“Oh come on,” you huffed, “it’s not like he cares.” But nonetheless, you wiped the image away and went back to work.

Jackie handed you the razor once you were done and let you get to work. You always talked while you worked; she assumed it was a nervous habit of yours. Not once did you ever actually talk about your home life, but you would talk about school, or the friends you had, or even just whatever popped into your head. Jokes were common, disregard for your own feelings even more so.

After you had been released from DHMC, she had tried to get you to go to therapy. No, you weren’t her responsibility once you were discharged, but the hurt she could see on your face was too much for her to bear. She had helped take care of you for two months, she could be forgiven for being a tad protective. But after you had very quickly shut her down about the idea, she accepted that maybe that was just how you needed to go about things for now.

“Don’t shave shapes,” Jackie scolded you again. You froze and looked up at her with the same expression one would make if they had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“He told me this is what he wanted,” you attempted to argue.

“Oh?” Jackie inquired, and you nodded quickly. Too quickly. “He woke up for the first time in four years just to tell you he wanted a dog shaved in his beard?”

“... yes he did-”

“-shave it normally,” Jackie warned you again, “or I’m revoking helping privileges for a month.”

“You’re no fun anymore,” you groaned but did as you were asked. Albeit with a frown on your face, but that was an acceptable reaction.

“And you’re more trouble,” Jackie said, holding the cup out for you to clean the razor. “I think this Wednesday girl is a bad influence on you.”

“She is not,” you said softly with a smile. “If anything, I think I’m the bad influence.”

“I bet you are,” Jackie said, her voice barely covering the sound of the phone ringing at the desk.

You continued to shave Nicky’s face with expert precision, never leaving even the smallest hint of hair. When you weren’t so busy being the typical little sister that you so enjoyed being, it was clear how much you cared for him. The gentleness in your touch and the concentration and effort you put into taking care of him was more than enough proof.

In fact, Jackie was so focused on your focus that she hadn’t heard Angela step into the room. She only noticed when Angela cleared her throat and held up a sheet of paper. A sheet of paper with your last name on it.

“They called again,” Angela said.

“Who called again?” You asked, finishing up the last touches before looking up at both women.

Jackie didn’t want to tell you. She didn’t want to bring that name up when you were in such a good mood. But they had been calling for the past few weeks, and she knew you wouldn’t call them back unless necessary. They hadn’t told her what they wanted, but if they were calling this often then she could assume it was now considered necessary.

“Marcus and Kristi want you to call them back,” Angela said when it was clear Jackie wouldn’t. “Today.”

The fear on your face was enough for both women to figure out what was going on, at least at the moment. Neither of them knew much, just that your parents paid the bills and Nicky’s life support stayed on. You had never explained, and they had never asked. Your reactions were enough of an answer.

“Oh,” you finally said, and you set the razor down before picking your phone up with slow, methodical movements. It was as if you had been replaced by a robot. “Okay.”

“Do you want some privacy?” Jackie asked. She gestured with her head for Angela to leave; she did.

“It’s okay,” you said, your voice sounding detached from your body while you fell down in the chair, “you can stay.”

You put the shaking phone up to your ear and stared into the distance as it rang. Jackie did her best not to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t help it. When you said “hi” in the smallest voice she had ever heard, she couldn’t stop herself. Your eyes were glazed over and your breathing was coming in short pants.

She didn’t have to be a nurse to see you were hurting.

The voices on the other end of the phone continued as your head turned to face Nicky. A single tear fell when you closed your eyes, squeezing them shut and biting your bottom lip so hard Jackie could see the single bead of blood that sprung from the skin.

“Yes sir,” you said. Was that how you sounded as a child? Had you always been so afraid? “Goodbye.”

You sat there in silence, only the occasional sniffle cutting through. With what Jackie assumed to be a great effort, you opened your eyes and looked at Nicky. She knew that look. And she certainly knew the look that came after, with your jaw set and a determination in your eyes.

“They’re not cutting it off,” you said through clenched teeth.

But Jackie could still hear the fear underneath the rage.

—---

Wednesday was mad at you. She was mad at you for giving her emotional whiplash when she didn’t even like emotions to begin with. It was inevitable that you would return to a routine when back at Nevermore, but this? This was almost painful, and she didn’t know how to handle it.

Maybe it was her fault for assuming you would still wish to hold her hand under the table, or come to her room at night to bother her with more of your rambling. To have you sit by her in class and in the quad, to offer to paint Thing’s nails while she was writing.

But no. No, you were only ever with Yoko or on your own. During class you would sit by Yoko without even a glance in Wednesday’s direction, and it was impossible for her to not see you two talking nonstop. You walked with Yoko to classes, around campus, during meals.

Wednesday wouldn’t deny, she had questioned Enid and Divina about it. After all, Yoko was their girlfriend too, did they not find it suspicious? Not even a little? But Divina promised it wasn’t like that, you two had just been friends for longer than any of them had even been at Nevermore. You were both like two peas in a pod.

In a surprising twist, Wednesday believed it.

“Wednesday, just relax,” Enid huffed as she sat down across the table. Yoko and Divina were quick to follow suit. “Unless you don’t trust Eugene now.”

She gave Enid a quick glare before turning back to see you sitting beside Eugene. It was impossible to tell what you were both talking about and she wanted nothing more than to go over and hear for herself. From the look on your face it wasn’t a pleasant conversation, but Eugene was insisting.

At least that’s what it looked like.

With a sigh, you said something to Eugene that made him smile before he got up and ran off. You shook your head and stood up next. Wednesday half-expected you to leave the quad as you had been doing for the past week. Her heart raced when you walked in her direction, sitting down directly beside her with a grunt.

“The matching hickeys are cute,” Yoko said once you were settled.

“Ha ha ha,” you mocked with a quick kick; judging by Yoko’s reaction, you hit your mark. “Fuck off.”

“You ready for the full moon tonight?” Enid asked. “Because I’m not.”

“Why not?” You asked indignantly. “It’s not like you’re going to wolf out- ouch.” You instantly leaned down to rub your knee. “Sorry,” you said when Yoko gave you a, quite admittedly, vicious look. “That was rude.”

“It’s okay,” Enid said even though her smile had fallen slightly, “you didn’t mean it.”

“Isn’t it your date night?” You asked, eyes darting between Enid and Wednesday.

“Yes,” Wednesday answered. Why wouldn’t you actually look at her?

“Any exciting plans?” Divina chimed in.

“Probably just a movie,” Enid said. “She agreed to watch one of mine if I watch one of hers.”

“Well isn’t that cute,” you teased. And finally, for probably the first time since she had left you at the hospital, you smiled. “Don’t eat too much popcorn, that shit gets expensive.”

“Oh don’t worry, we have it all planned out,” Enid said, immediately going into a long-winded explanation of the night.

But Wednesday wasn’t listening to Enid; she was focused on how your leg was suddenly close to hers again and, for the first time in a week, she could feel your warmth again. She had missed it, embarrassingly so. It made her dead heart beat and she wanted more of it.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into her ear while Enid continued to talk.

“Why?” Wednesday asked back, turning just enough to look at you. She wished she hadn’t when she noticed how close you were.

“For avoiding you,” you said simply. “Can I make it up over coffee on Saturday?”

Say no, her head told her. You had just openly admitted to avoiding her for the week, after everything that had happened during spring break. All the progress you had both made (at least she felt she had made progress) and then you could still avoid her so easily? No, she wasn’t sure she wanted you to make it up to her.

But she wanted you. Of that she was sure.

The corner of your mouth twitched with the barest hint of a smile that you could muster without the other three noticing. It almost made her want to smile in return. She’s making you weak, her mind told her. But she wasn’t entirely convinced she cared when you finally reached over and grabbed her hand-

-that electric jolt went up her arm once again, lodging itself like a bullet in the back of her skull.

“Eugene run!” You yelled.

Blood.

Screaming. 

The full moon shining down through the trees.

A vicious growl.

“Enid?”

“Hey.” Your voice cut through the vision loud and clear, pulling Wednesday out with a gasp. “I gotchu.”

Your hands felt warm even through her uniform. The grip you had on her thigh was grounding, and for a moment it was as if the vision hadn’t even happened. It was just your hands on her and your eyes looking so very hypnotizing.

Okay. Her visions definitely impaired her ability to look at you neutrally.

“You good?” You asked.

“Yes,” Wednesday managed to get out past that lump in her throat. “Coffee sounds good.”

She hoped you would move along with the conversation as she was trying to. The sound of that scream - had it been yours? - was echoing in her head and she wanted it gone. Wanted you to get rid of it for her. You interlocked your fingers with hers and nodded with a small smile.

It didn’t get rid of the screams completely. But it helped.

—---

“I’ll kick your ass for this next time, Ottinger,” you said as you lagged further behind Eugene’s steady pace.

“It shouldn’t take long,” he told you, “I know exactly where they hide.”

“Well hurry up,” you grumbled, “it’s cold and something doesn’t feel right.”

Eugene knew you only really said those things when you meant them, at least to him. If you felt something was off, then it probably was. He certainly wouldn’t argue with you, that was for sure. So instead of looking for the extra bugs on his list, he made a beeline to the grouping of trees that he knew were infested.

The sound of your wings flapping lightly was almost the only thing he could hear, aside from the crunching of the twigs on the ground. He had told you that you could leave the harness off if you wanted, but he hadn’t actually expected you to. It was nice, really, he didn’t think he had ever truly seen them before now. Almost made him feel like you trusted him.

“Quit staring,” you said with a raised brow, “or you can bug hunt on your own.”

“Sorry,” Eugene said, but the small smile on your face eased his slight anxiety. “It’s just right over here.”

He didn’t wait for you to keep up before jogging over to the small copse of trees that he had painstakingly scouted out over the past few weeks. Without hesitation he got to work; he needed to be careful so he didn’t scare them away. The flashlight flickered once but steadied out, and he could finally get to looking.

“How was your spring break-”

“-Don’t start small talk,” you interrupted. “Just get your bugs, I’m getting goosebumps.”

Eugene turned his head to look at you and he would admit, your stance was giving him the creeps. When he was kneeling down you looked like a giant; a giant being with giant wings and an angry face. It was scary against the moonlight, and if he hadn’t known it was you, he probably would have panicked.

“Right,” he finally said, turning around to get back to his hunt.

You were making him nervous. He wouldn’t admit it to you because then you would think he wasn’t cool, but you were. Just towering over him and looking out into the woods. Almost like some kind of guardian angel, although he was pretty sure you would get mean if you needed to.

“Eugene, hurry up,” you said, your voice suddenly dropping to barely more than a whisper.

“I’ve almost got him, want to see?” Eugene asked.

“Absolutely not- wait, that’s kinda cool,” you said after turning around and leaning closer, squinting your eyes to try and see it better. “Ew,” you mumbled with a scrunch of your nose when the bug in question wiggled around until finally dropping into the collection cup with a little *splat*.

“Just one more and then we can go,” Eugene said, already looking for his other target.

The flashlight trailed over every inch of those trees, but he still couldn’t find the beetle. It should have been here, it was always here. Surely it wouldn’t have vanished, right? Bugs didn’t just do that, especially not in these woods. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, followed quickly by a chill running down his spine.

“The birds stopped singing,” you whispered.

With a turn of his head, he was met with your hand extended toward him. What did you want him to do with it? He reached out to take it - please don’t think I’m lame - and you instantly squeezed his hand in return. You pulled him to his feet and backed up, pushing him into the crowded copse of trees.

“Stay here,” you whispered as you turned around. “I’m gonna-”

-a growl echoed right by his head and your hand was ripped from his grip. He didn’t scream when he saw you hit the ground a few feet away. No, he didn’t make any sound at all, he just forced himself between the trees. Twigs dug into his back but he pushed deeper.

A clawed hand swiped through the trees and slashed the strap of his backpack. It fell to the ground with a thud, and the claws were gone. He hadn’t gotten a good look, but it had been furry and big and-

-and it was a full moon.

The claw shoved through the trees again, this time getting closer and he could almost feel them touching his skin. This time he did scream, and the clawed hand pulled back before a furry eye peered through the small gap in the trees.

A piercing whistle echoed through the air.

“Over here, asshole!” You shouted.

The wolf turned and charged off with a snarl. Don’t do it, all of his instincts told him, but Eugene ignored them and leaned out of the trees right as you were slammed into the bark beside him. You slumped lifelessly to the ground.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as you head fell back against the tree. Eugene could see the blood pouring from your nose.

“Aren’t you a boxer?” Eugene asked, quickly pulling you to your feet and trying his hardest not to notice the blood you dripped onto his shirt.

“I don’t think he’s gonna play by the rules,” you said. It sounded like your words were drowning before you could get them out.

From his spot behind you, Eugene could finally see the wolf. It was big. It was very big. A bit of blood coated his claws - was it yours? - and he looked mean. He could feel your arm pressing against his shoulder as you guided him further away from the danger.

“Eugene,” you said quietly, your eyes never leaving the wolf in front of you.

“Yeah?” He asked; his eyes were locked on the same thing.

“Run.”

“What?” He asked, finally tearing his eyes away to look up at you. You looked angry.

“Now.”

He wasn’t sure he wanted to. Not when the wolf was looking at you like you were his next meal, and you were looking at him like you wanted a total smackdown. But when your bloody hand pushed him back one more time, soft yet forceful, he listened. He turned and ran and didn’t look back.

Not even when he heard the snarl mix with your own shouting.

—---

“Wednesday, you’re not paying attention.”

No. No she wasn’t. She couldn’t pay attention to the annoyingly happy movie Enid had picked out because something felt wrong. What it was, she couldn’t pinpoint exactly, but it was something. It was something in the air, or in her soul, or even just in her gut.

She didn’t know and it was infuriating.

“I know you had a vision during lunch,” Enid said. She paused the movie and turned until her legs were in Wednesday’s lap. “Was it about Y/N?”

Wednesday’s hand rested on Enid’s shin subconsciously - she hated that it was a subconscious reaction - and leaned back. She didn’t know if it was about you. The scream wasn’t clear enough to judge if it was yours or not. Oh god, she hoped it wasn’t yours.

“Would you feel better if we went to check it out?” Enid asked.

“Yes,” Wednesday said without hesitation.

“Then let’s go,” Enid said with her wolfy grin.

She stood up and grabbed Wednesday’s hand to pull her along, and off they went. It was past curfew so they had to be quiet, but it was easy enough to get out. The light from the full moon illuminated the woods in a way that was beautifully spooky. On any other night she would have loved to take you for a walk like this.

But not tonight.

Tonight her mind was running through every possibility of her vision. Screaming, blood, howling. Surely the howling wouldn’t be Enid, she hadn’t even wolfed out yet and it would be quite the coincidence if it happened at that moment. She didn’t believe in coincidences. Surely there had to be some hint in her vision that would tell her something-

“-Look out!”

Was that Eugene?

“Move it!”

No.

“That’s Y/N,” Enid said. A howl echoed through the trees.

I know! Wednesday thought as she started running toward the sound. I know it is! Why had you gone into the woods so late at night on a full moon? Why were you with Eugene? You were both so stupid, you were both supposed to be back at Nevermore-

“-Wednesday?”

What else? Pulling herself to a stop, Wednesday turned around to look at Enid. Or, what was Enid, but was now the beginning of a werewolf. With outstretched hands, Wednesday stepped closer - for comfort or support, she supposed - but quickly stopped herself as Enid finished her transformation.

Her first one.

What else could possibly happen?

Another scream echoed through the woods; much further than only moments ago. Enid’s wolf looked in that direction before sprinting off, leaving Wednesday behind. She stood there in resignation as she realised, no, she couldn’t keep up with a werewolf. So instead she grabbed Enid’s coat and started chasing after her.

She was going to quit questioning what else could go wrong.

“Enid?”

Wednesday would know your voice anywhere. If it was the last thing she ever heard, she would know it was yours. And if you were this far in the woods then it meant you had seen the wolf and-

-she stopped in her tracks the moment she noticed the unusual angle of your wing.

You turned around to face her, and she wished you hadn’t. Truly she wished you would have stayed facing Enid because this… this wasn’t something she was comfortable with. She felt nauseated at the sight of you, battered and broken and babying your left leg while your right arm hung limply at your side.

“Where’s Eugene?” You asked. How was she supposed to know? “Have you seen him?” No, why would you be asking about him when you were clearly standing at death’s door.

You huffed.

“Go help Enid,” you said; it sounded much more like a demand.

And Wednesday stood there as you limped away behind her, your voice echoing through the woods as you screamed for Eugene. She should have been worried about Eugene too; she should have cared. But it was hard to do when she couldn’t stop seeing your broken body.

“Eugene!” You shouted - no, screamed - again, and Wednesday’s eyes squeezed shut because no, it was all too much. She could hear Enid’s whimpering and your screaming and she couldn’t quit picturing your blood and it was too much.

“Willa, did you see that?!” Enid shouted, and even though Wednesday couldn’t see it she felt Enid shaking her shoulders. “I did it! I finally did it!”

“Eugene!” You needed to quit screaming. You needed to quit or Wednesday swore she was going to collapse. She couldn’t hear your voice crack like that.

“You look faint,” Enid said, her hands squeezing Wednesday’s shoulders just a bit more. “Are you okay?” She sounded worried now. Could everyone please keep their emotions in check, this was too much.

Wednesday finally looked and, oh. Oh, Enid was still completely nude. Oh, Wednesday still had her jacket. Her eyes widened just enough to see clearly before pulling the coat tight around Enid’s shoulders. She whispered a “thanks” before grabbing it with her own hands to secure it in place.

“You dick,” you shouted, and Wednesday turned around just in time to see you skip-running to where Eugene had suddenly appeared. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay,” Eugene said, but his words were muffled as your hands checked every inch of him.

Your bloody hands.

“You’re bleeding,” Eugene said as he grabbed your hands to stop them from moving.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, pulling away until you could lean back against a nearby tree. “Did you at least get the bugs?”

“They’re in my backpack,” Eugene answered as he held the torn backpack up.

“Good,” you sighed, “because we are never doing this again.”

It was a slow walk back to Nevermore. While Enid wasn’t injured, she was certainly exhausted and leaning on Wednesday for support. Beside her, you were practically falling over Eugene as you limped forward. The occasional grunts and groans from you went straight to Wednesday’s chest and she grew more concerned with each step.

Weems, of course, was waiting for all four of you when you finally made it back.

After everyone got checked out in the infirmary and the nurse had finally finished bandaging you up - “No flying, no boxing, no exceptions” - you had all been led to Weems’ office. The three of them were sitting outside while you were, admittedly, getting what Wednesday would consider to be the scolding of the century.

And she was absolutely eavesdropping.

"Who's decision was it?" Weems asked. "Which one of you decided it would be a wonderful night for a midnight stroll?"

"I did," you said. "I told Eugene he could hunt for his creepy crawlies if he came with me."

"And Misses Sinclair and Addams?" She pushed.

"I said they should spend date night with us," you said, "and I'd pay for their next date."

Wednesday heard Weems sigh.

"Do you understand how reckless that was?" Weems asked, her voice rising in volume. "How much danger you put everyone in?"

"It was just a walk-"

“On a full moon, no less!” Weems yelled. “You could have gotten all four of you injured. Or killed, for that matter.”

“Everyone is fine,” you argued back.

“What were you thinking?” Weems asked you, her voice taking on a completely different tone. Less angry.

“Clearly I wasn’t.” Wednesday could practically hear the eyeroll in your voice.

A sigh barely reached her ears before being followed by heels on the floor and the door opening. Weems stood there and looked at the three of them for a moment. Only a moment.

“Inside,” Weems ordered as she ushered them into the office where you were already sitting with your head in your remaining functional hand.

“It was my fault-”

“-I don’t care whose fault it was,” Weems interrupted Eugene, who shrunk into his oversized coat. “You all broke the rules and put yourselves in danger.”

“We’re sorry,” Enid said quickly. “It won’t happen again.”

“No it won’t,” Weems agreed. “Your three weeks of detention will ensure that.”

Enid and Eugene groaned and threw their heads back. Wednesday truthfully didn’t care, detention was the least of her worries, but you. You didn’t even seem phased by the punishment. No, you just shifted in the chair and scrunched your nose up as you tried to settle. Did you hurt terribly?

“Every day at 4pm sharp,” Weems continued. “My office.”

Everyone mumbled out acknowledgement of the punishment, but no one seemed over eager about such a thing.

“To your dorms,” Weems sighed. “Now.” You moved to push yourself up when Weems’ hand pushed you back down. “Except you.”

Wednesday followed Eugene and Enid out of the office, looking back only once to see you staring off into the distance with glazed eyes. The red tint of blood was still staining the skin around your lips and eye and you looked… broken. You looked broken and Wednesday didn’t know what to do about it.

All she knew was it made her feel… sad. You made her feel sad.

—---

“Go check on her,” Enid said for what must have been the seventh time since Wednesday had started writing. “You know you want to.”

“I want to finish my writing time,” Wednesday retorted as she started typing aimlessly on the typewriter. Again. It was turning more into a waste of time if nothing else.

“She’s practically been grounded,” Enid continued. “I’m sure she would love the company.”

Wednesday sighed and leaned back in her chair. Enid was right. She knew she was right. It had been a few days and no one had seen you except for class and detention. No extracurriculars, no outings, you hadn’t even been coming down for dinner. And she hated it because, though she wouldn’t admit it, she missed you.

“Fine,” Wednesday said with a sigh.

She didn’t bother even looking at Enid (who was still painting Thing’s nails) because she knew there would be a smirk being sent in her direction. No, she didn’t need that kind of ridicule. It was past curfew, but what was going to happen? Weems was going to give her more detention?

It was a quick walk to your dorm, but she stood in front of your door with her fist raised. Now that she was near you, almost alone with you, her heart was racing in her chest. It didn’t make sense, she had been alone with you plenty of times before, why was this any different?

But when you opened the door and jumped slightly, looking down at her with a black eye and that bandage on your cheek, she remembered why she was nervous. She wasn’t just alone with you, she was alone with an injured you. Could she touch you without hurting you? Would you be okay?

“What are you doing here?” You asked. Did you not want her there?

I’m here to see you, she thought, to make sure you’re okay. She wanted to make sure you were okay, and you were safe, and yes your heart was still beating. Yes you were still alive and not just some ghost everyone saw around campus.

“Move,” she said instead.

She caught the little smile on your face as you stepped aside and let her in. The door clicked closed behind her while her eyes roamed over your room. It looked different. Your usual nest was shifted further to the wall and pillows were shoved in the corner.

“You rearranged,” Wednesday said.

“Everything hurts,” you said with a half-shrug, “gotta sleep sitting up.”

Oh.

“You need rest.”

“Yes, mother,” you said with a roll of your eyes. But Wednesday saw the flush to your neck.

She followed you to your nest and waited for you to get settled before following suit. But once she was close, she didn’t know what to do. Did she get closer to you? Or maybe you would like some space; you were damaged after all. That was obvious by the way your right arm and wing were practically strapped in place so you couldn’t move.

“Just come here,” you said, and Wednesday didn’t have time to brace herself before you grabbed her arm and gently pulled her into your side.

On instinct she held her arm out to brace herself, but when you let out a short groan she tried to back away. Your arm just pulled her closer, and she froze. She froze because now you were leaning against the wall and holding her as if your life depended on it. Her fingers could feel the bandage underneath your shirt and she hated it.

“Chill, Addams,” you said when, supposedly, you realised she was still tense. “We slept together at your house, it’s not a marriage proposal.”

Yes you had both slept together, but it was at her house and it hadn’t been after you had been mauled by a werewolf. There hadn’t been the same tension because it was different. In the time since then you had ignored her, avoided her, apologised, and tried to get yourself killed. Wednesday wasn’t one to allow herself to feel many emotions, but you were starting to make it difficult.

“I guess we need a rain check for Saturday’s coffee,” you said, bringing Wednesday out of her thoughts. Oh yes. You had wanted to make up for avoiding her.

“There will be more Saturdays,” Wednesday said and finally, she let herself lean her weight into your side.

She could hear your heartbeat in your chest. It was fast, but Wednesday had learned it was fairly usual for you. All that really mattered was that it was beating and it was strong and steady. There wasn’t much for her to worry about if your heart would just keep beating.

“Let’s get some sleep,” you muttered, and Wednesday looked up at your face. You did look exhausted. She supposed she should agree and let you sleep, although…

Do it.

With gentle fingers, Wednesday cupped your jaw and turned you to face her. Her eyes darted to your lips just once before pulling you down. It was effortless really, you instantly got the hint and leaned down to kiss her. She let you take the lead so she wouldn’t hurt you, but that didn’t stop the heat building in her chest.

You deepened the kiss, leaning down until Wednesday could wrap her hand around the back of your neck. There was a hunger behind your kiss; something Wednesday couldn’t quite place. But she could feel your pulse under your skin and just knew hers was racing along with it. You shifted and-

“-ouch,” you hissed, pulling back until your forehead was resting against hers.

“Are you okay?” Wednesday asked in a shameful display of concern. She blamed you and the kiss.

“Guess I can’t lift my right arm,” you said with a light chuckle. “Cockblocked by my own hubris.”

“What?” Wednesday asked, pulling back just enough to look you in the eye. You were blushing.

“Nothing,” you mumbled, very quickly leaning back and pulling Wednesday down with you. “Guess I’m just tired.”

“Sleep,” Wednesday said. She had meant to sound demanding, but her voice was far too soft. Too caring.

“Sleep with me,” you said even though you were already fading.

Wednesday didn’t have time to give you an answer before your eyes closed and your breathing evened out. She just watched you, felt the rise and fall of your chest beneath her fingers, the occasional brush of your good wing against her arm. And as you slept, her lips brushed against the itchy fabric of the bandage as she leaned up to leave a lingering kiss on your cheek.

She settled into your side once again and closed her eyes. It was too intimate, too close. But your warmth enveloped her and you subconsciously pulled her closer with your good arm. And just like that, Wednesday fell asleep and, for the first night since the full moon, her dreams were void of nightmares.

[holly-louisexox]

Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 33

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices...

...But then things changed.

"Delia, it's so nice to meet you, I'm Amy." Andy's mum gushes as she carefully pulls Delia into a small and welcoming hug before letting go again. "Please, sit down love, make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you too." Delia smiles back politely as she sits on the sofa in the living room.

"Andy told me what happened and I saw the news articles online, I'm so sorry dear. If ever you need anything you can always come to us, now that you're with Andy you're a part of this family." Amy explains warmly just as Andy sits on the sofa next to Delia.

"I appreciate that a lot, thank you." Delia continues to smile to show her gratitude.

"Alright mum, no need to get all sappy." Andy laughs awkwardly whilst looking at his mum.

"Andy, she's just being nice." Delia shakes her head slightly whilst playfully whacking Andy's arm which makes him laugh more.

"You must be Delia!" Andy's dad exclaims as he walks into the living room "Andy has told us so much about you, don't worry all good things. I'm Chris by the way."

"I forgot how embarrassing parents can be at times like this." Andy shakes his head slightly before regaining his composure "Dad was actually the original band manager before the band signed to the first record deal."

"No way, that's so cool! I apologise, I wasn't aware." Delia was in slight shock and awe knowing Andy's dad helped the band get to where they are now.

"No worries Delia." Chris grins as he goes to sit down in the unoccupied armchair "It was fun whilst it lasted, I couldn't do it now at my age, that shit is tiring."

"Yeah, it's definitely a lot, although I did enjoy seeing all of the different sights." Delia explains as she thinks back to all the cool things she had seen on the road.

"We saw Phantom of the Opera together whilst in New York." Andy tells his parents whilst grinning ear to ear; it was very clear how much Andy loved the musical.

"Again? Andy how many times have you seen that show now?" Chris pokes fun at his son "Seriously, this guy could probably quote the whole musical word for word at this rate, wouldn't surprise me if he did know it that well."

"I think about 6 times live now?" Andy questions himself clearly trying to recount the times he's seen it "Delia had expressed her love for the show though and said she hadn't seen it. I wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to see it live again, so I managed to get some last minute tickets in a box."

"A theatre trip for a first date, when did you become so romantic Andy?" Amy laughs and joins in on the teasing that Chris had started.

"It wasn't actually a first date." Andy begins to explain as he gently takes Delia's hand as if to make a point. "I actually didn't want to fall for Delia so I made a plan of taking her to see Phantom to let her down easy. Safe to say that did not work to plan, but I'm glad it didn't."

"Sometimes we don't realise what's right in front of us before we could potentially lose it." Chris nods slightly understanding Andy's choices "It's good to see you happy again though son, I'm glad the old you is back."

"Yeah, it's good to be back." Andy is sincere in his words as he awkwardly looks down at his and Delia's entwined hands.

"So Delia, do you live in Cincinnati or are you just here visiting?" Amy asks trying to change the subject and rid the slightly awkward silence of the air.

"I do, I live here with my parents still but I may be moving to LA soon." Delia explains whilst discreetly squeezing Andy's hand.

"Oh that sounds lovely!" Amy grins "Have you always been in Cincinnati then?"

"Erm, no actually, When I went to university to study production and tech I went to Italy." Delia reveals.

"Italy! Oh I've said to Chris many a times I want to visit there, it looks gorgeous. What was it like? How long were you there for?" Amy gets a little excited at the mention of the country.

"Oh Italy is gorgeous and I would love to go back myself at some point, 5 years just wasn't enough." Delia laughs slightly at Amy's excited mannerism "I went there because the university offered a really good course and I'm actually half Italian myself. My dad was born and raised there."

"Oh how lovely, I've always been interested in the idea of tracking back family and making a family tree but Chris just laughs at me and claims the websites for the files can be too expensive." Amy reveals which makes Chris role his eyes.

"I don't think it's that expensive depending on what website you use, I just know it's extremely time consuming and addictive. Mum made our family tree and tracked it all the way back to the 1600s but she spent hours doing it." Delia clarifies.

"Delia, as lovely as you are, please do not give Amy ideas." Chris laughs.

"Dad, don't be boring." Andy smirks "Mum, if you really wanna make the family tree tell me how much the documents are and I'll pay it."

"Oh thank you dear." Amy smiles at her son before looking at the clock that was sat on the living room wall "Crap, is that the time? I need to get dinner started. Chris, you put the potatoes on a slow cook earlier right?"

"Yes, I sorted the potatoes dear, don't worry." Chris confirms with a nod.

"Delia, you're staying for dinner right dear? It would be wonderful to get to know you better." Amy expresses

"We're here for dinner mum, remember I said Delia was staying tonight." Andy verifies to his mum.

"Oh right, yes, of course." Amy stutters as she makes her way to the kitchen "Sorry, it's been a crazy few days with making sure everything is ready for Christmas, it is only a week away now."

"Mum is a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to Christmas." Andy mutters to Delia.

"I heard that!" Amy shouts from the kitchen.

"How?" Andy laughs in shock.

"Mother's just have that super hearing ability, my mum is the same." Delia laughs alongside Andy.

"She's right, although I think it's just women in general. God forbid I say anything bad about your mother." Chris joins in on the laughter.

"You wouldn't dare say anything bad Christopher!" Amy jokingly calls from the kitchen again.

"Of course not dear." Chris calls back trying to conceal his laughter which just made Delia and Andy crack up laughing even further.

--------------------

"So Andy, just remind me again, what date are you flying back to LA?" Amy asks.

As Delia swallowed another bite of the lovely dinner Amy and Chris had made, she felt her heart stop momentarily. Of course she knew Andy would go back to LA at some point, after all, his life was there now; she had not had that conversation with him yet and the thought of him leaving Ohio made her heart hurt. Maybe the ache she felt was a sign that she should go to LA with him, she felt safe and complete with him; she wouldn't want to lose that feeling by having him be a 4 hour flight away from her.

"I'm flying back on the 30th of December, CC is hosting a New Years Eve party this year and wants us all there." Andy nods "Oh yeah, Delia, this was planned way before the tour so we need to message CC later to say you'll be there too, it's CC of course he'll want you there."

Andy wants her at the party with him, Andy wants her in LA with him. The thought alone made her heart flutter as she turns to look at him sending a shy smile. Despite the battle she was still fighting in her head about moving to LA, the side of wanting to move there was winning more and more by the day.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." Delia nods trying to ignore the butterflies she was feeling in her stomach; although Andy noticed the way she looked at him and sent a small smile of his own.

"Oh that's good, at least you'll till be here a few days after Christmas then so there's no big rush to get back." Amy smiles.

"Got anymore tours coming up Andy?" Chris asks to completely change the subject; he saw the way Delia and Andy looked at each other, like love sick puppies, and as much as he wanted to tease them about it he bit his tongue.

"At the moment nothing is set in stone, but I suspect management are already planning a UK and Europe tour." Andy nods.

"Will you be working that tour Delia?" Chris continues to question; Chris was always wanting to know about the tours the band went on, what could he say, he was the typical proud father and admired Andy for all the hard work and dedication he put into the band.

"I'm not sure, although I would very much like to as I would love to visit England one day." Delia smiles "It depends if I'm hired again or not."

"Of course we're going to hire you again Delia, don't be silly." Andy chuckles lightly "You're great at what you do and the band all love you, plus I'm going to want you there."

"You two are adorable." Amy blurts out.

"Mum, that's embarrassing." Andy groans slightly as the moment was ruined.

"That's not embarrassing, if you want embarrassing I'm sure Delia would love to see some of your earlier performances, especially your in home performances of Phantom and Sweeney Todd." Amy jokingly threatens.

"Mum you wouldn't." Andy continues to complain.

"Don't test me Andrew." Amy winks which just makes Andy roll his eyes.

As much as Andy wanted to protest, he did in fact miss his parents. Being back with them and being able to joke around and chat was refreshing to him. He'd never fully admit it to himself or anyone else, but for the first time in a long time he genuinely felt happy; and he had Delia to thank for all of that. She restored his faith in love and human connection, helped him fix the relationship with his parents and helped him patch up the hole in his heart. He knew none of this was going to be easy because he still had his fears and Delia had her new found fears, but he was willing to do whatever it took to preserve what he had.

Now he just had to hope that nothing was going to come along and take that happiness from him...

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - December 30th

Welcome to the final SteveTony Weekly of the year! Tomorrow I’ll be sharing my short list of favorite reads of the year--enjoy these and be sure to leave comment and kudos for your authors if you enjoy them! 

~

ends of the earth by meidui

“We have a new deal,” Tony interrupts. “From now on, you feel like you messed up, you come home to me. You come home to New York and we figure it out together. If you’re on this cross country road trip and living on a farm because you like it, fine, I’ll come out and visit. But if you’re out here because you’re sorry, I’ve got some bad news for you, buddy. Not even you could fix the entire world.”

They always slip so briskly and unexpectedly into conversations like this. There’s never been anything between them to thaw. Tony has been a bullet through the heart since they first met and he’s still lodged there, and Steve doesn’t know how to get him out.

He doesn’t deserve Tony coming all the way down to Illinois with his million watt attention and a slice of that blunt kindness of his.

the steve rogers rating system by meidui

Tony has an internalised Steve Rogers rating system, but it’s not standardised. It’s also not a foolproof system because Steve behaves in ways that crash it all the time.

everything and the kitchen sink by meidui

Steve eats a lot after the serum (and stashes snacks in his utility belt).

How Close Am I To Losing You by tinystark616

Three different stories about the first time Steve says "I love you" to Tony.

Unseen, unheard by lomku 

Tony and Steve have a furtive encounter. Tony wishes they could have more.

you'd think they'd be married by now by FunSizedMomo 

Tony can cook.

Steve loves Tony's cooking. And baking.

Oh and he loves Tony too.

Thoughtful Indulgences by HeLovedYou (come_chaos)

Tony takes Steve to space for their second anniversary together.

Sun Spots and Other Warm Things by s_p_r_o_u_t

Steve takes care of Tony on a bad mental health day. Lots of sappy fluff!

Nothing Wrong by tinystark616

As the Avengers' leader, Steve always praises each member of the team for their good work.

Except for Tony.

In Arrears by Sineala 

Steve had nearly forgotten what day it was, because he hadn't exactly wanted to write "roleplay elaborate landlord/tenant sexual fantasy with Tony" on his calendar where other people might see it. He suspected Tony actually had written precisely that on his, but, well, that was why he and Tony were two different people.

Coincidences by ladyshadowdrake

Steve hasn't been to a Quidditch game since his mother was still alive, but the US is playing in the World Cup, so why not? He definitely doesn't expect to run into Tony there.

light of my life by tinystark616

Steve has always loved Tony's arc reactor.

And he's always loved Tony.

Make Me Laugh, Make Me Come (At the Same Time) by Sadisticsparkle (sadisticsparkle)

This was it. After many months of sudden invasions, unexpected heists, and at least two zombie outbreaks, they had an entire night for themselves.

this love came back to me by complicationstoo 

It's been two and half years since the last time Steve and Tony saw each other, but the pieces fall right back into place when a chance meeting connects them again.

fourth time's the charm by complicationstoo 

Three times Steve's gifts for Tony didn't go as planned, and the one time it went right.

dreamt of you all summer long by complicationstoo

Steve spends months after the breakup trying to forget Tony, but it never seems to work. That's alright, though, because Tony can't forget him either.

once in a lifetime by meidui for Areiton

“You should be worried that I'll break into your apartment, steal your identity and flee the country with all your money,” Steve says, one arm slung lazily across Tony's chest, playing with the key to his safe. “You shouldn't go around handing out keys to people, you know.”

Tony makes a low, offended noise and grabs Steve’s chin, making him laugh. “Is that what you think I do?”

By The Numbers by JenTheSweetie

“I’m not certain that obtaining a larger vessel will assist him in vanquishing this most dangerous sea creature,” Thor said firmly.

Or, five ways other than battles that the Avengers measured a year.

The Ballad of Captains America by JenTheSweetie

“The thing I want you all to remember, when this is over,” Tony said to Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, and Bruce Banner, and fuck, they really needed to find Thor, or possibly Thors, “is that I was planning to use this for good, not evil."

do i wanna know by JenTheSweetie

When Steve Rogers woke up, they told him a lot of things.

They told him they’d fixed things been wrong back before, and that the world was better now. They told him that SHIELD was where he belonged, that they took only the best and the brightest and the bravest. They told him that with his help, they were going to save the world.

They also told him Tony Stark was dangerous.

But Steve Rogers once jumped on top of a grenade, so really, it’s all relative.

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Twenty-Five

A/n: Hellooo! 25 is here!! Thank you for all of the incredible feedback on the last two updates! It honestly made my entire weeekkk, you're all so lovely it hurts. But, this part will be a little bit different, it starts off with a monologue of sorts from our very own G:) so I hope you enjoy that and then it just continues on from where we ended Part 23! :D

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Nothing much, angst, but when is there not with these two? and swearing as per usual:)

Masterlist

—GEORGE’S POV—

I made a promise. A very long time ago. 

On a street corner under dazzling lights.

Then again in a tiny little hospital bathroom.

Once more at a train station so hectic I could barely even hear myself think.

And I kept on making that same promise. Like a prayer on a loop forever inside my head.

At gigs; from across the top of our kitchen counter; on the tour bus; and during flights over seas. A prayer. A promise. So simple. Innocent, really. Always on the tip of my tongue. Scratched into the walls of my throat, there but never heard. 

An endless loop. A cycle.

I never once thought that I’d break it.

That I’d be the one to break her. Not after everything.

But I was.

I made a promise that I couldn’t keep and it didn’t just break her, it broke me.

…

I felt strange whenever I was with her. It started out as a nervousness, this tiny fizzing ball of it sat at the very top of my stomach. She’d waltzed into the music room I’d taken to hiding in most days and rendered my mind empty. She’d prattled away about this and that, and I’d quickly learnt that that was her own way of hiding. She was just simply better at it. 

It was so long ago now and yet, her smile hasn’t changed and neither have her soulful eyes.

I’d wandered around after her for a short while as kids. The nervousness that I’d felt had shifted into curiosity. The boys had been welcoming enough, but her. She was just something other. And she didn’t even know it. Didn’t see the lingering eyes that trailed after her. The sappy smiles and laughs she garnered. 

I’d bugged her at first, I knew that. This kid that never had much to say. I’d put her on edge, made her wary of the secrets she’d held too close to her chest. Because like calls to like. 

She was hard to figure out in the beginning, sometimes even after it, so strong and effortless in the way she went about things, in how she lied. But we were one in the same. And when she finally let me in, it was like everything clicked. And what she’d had yet to realise was that she’d disarmed me without even trying to. I’d have done anything she asked. 

There was this one night, the first night I call it, where she’d been battered to bits sat outside on a park bench not too far off my road. I’d spotted her from a mile off. Because of course I had, she was the lighthouse that called to my dull and aching sea. And I hadn’t known what to make of it at first, just a kid myself, but then I’d told her why I’d been out walking so late and in turn she’d dropped the facade and gifted me one of her truths.

I found out she preferred tea to coffee that same night, and that she hated hot-chocolate.

As the weeks bled into months she let me have a few more.

That summer in London had been one of the best ones of my life. Even now I think back to it and grin, wishing I could step back into it, smile at her one last time before I lost her again.

She’d sung to me one night during that trip, late late into the early hours of the morning. She’d been curled up against me, both our eyes heavy with sleep. But she’d sung, sweet as anything I’d ever heard into the curve of my chest. And I’d held my breath the whole while and just listened.

My Birdie, my little songbird.

By the end of the time we’d spent holed up in that house with her Nana, Aunt and Big Cyril too, she’d gifted me a lighter. The same one she carried with her every place she went. She had spent the morning gardening with her nan, the bullmastiff sprawled lazily on the grass beside them, and then she’d come back in to find me and let it drop into my hand. 

It was the one thing I treasured most, I took it everywhere. Even to this day. 

I can remember the one time I thought I’d lost it- this is years beyond the days spent in Bethnal Green, on the first proper tour we’d landed- she hadn’t been with me and it’d been all I’d had of her. 

I’d fucking lost it. Completely. Don’t think the guys had ever seen me so worked up. I’d torn apart every inch of that bus as well as our dressing room too trying to find it, only for Matty to come stumbling up the steps with it in his hand a while later, joint dangling from his lips. His eyes had never been stretched so wide, the way I’d gone off on him had not just surprised everyone else, but me too. And I’d realised later on, in the hours after the show had ended with me curled up in my tiny bunk, that it hadn’t just been about the lighter. I was stuck, half-way to losing my mind without her near. It’d felt like I’d left half of me back home.

And when things had ended between us…

When things had ended between us, I’d lost myself completely.

So torn up about things I’d been too scared to face. 

I’d left. I’d been the one to give up. To give up on one of the few good things life had ever given me.

And I’d sat staring at the clock trying to pass time for weeks after.

—

I love you.

Love’s a funny, fickle thing. Isn’t it?

It can build you up but just as easily tear you down again.

It stains, worse than red wine on cheap carpet or blood on a white tee.

It hollows you out, makes itself a hole right there in your heart. A hole which starts out so tiny, it’s barely even noticeable. Until it’s gone and you’re left with a throbbing empty wound in your chest.

I remember how much my mum loved my dad.

When I was little, like really little, they used to sing to one another. Dance about in our kitchen and laugh over cups of steaming tea. And when dad got ill that love only brightened, I saw it. In the small things she did. How’d she’d cook his favourite meal most days so that he could remember and read him the morning newspaper when he was feeling too tired to keep his eyes open. She loved him, I knew that. And she’d loved me once too. 

After he was gone I spent a lot of time down south. At Nana’s and Aunt Delany’s. Mum didn’t have much family, her parents both having passed long before I was even born, and her being an only child. So I spent time in London. A lot of time. Whilst she’d stayed home, pretending.

I’d only been young, nine or so. I missed him like you would a limb. I missed her too. I lost them both the day that he died. And I told Nana so, she’d just said that grief took time, and Aunt Del claimed that I reminded mum too much of my dad. My guilt frayed that day, unraveled itself inside me. And so I stayed in London long after the funeral until mum finally came and got me, she took me back home again. Only home wasn’t there anymore. And everything in that house reminded me of him.

I think my mum forgot how to love after. Like all of it left her when he did.

And I, well I was just a painful reminder of it. One she couldn’t bare to see. 

So I took the brunt of her emotions. A lot of them new. Just like all of the people she let in and out of the house. I learned to keep quiet, shut my mouth after the first few. Learned to cover up, to brave a smile. I became a liar. A skilled one too. But I still loved. I loved her because she was my mother. I loved her because I didn’t know what else I could do. But with her love, came blame, came guilt, came fault. And her love, once red, was now only blue. Hues of it, black and purple on tender skin. Cruel words dotted into sentences and distinctive falls of feet.

Love. 

It came to me in other ways as I grew older though. 

In friendships, like the one I shared with Vicky. And in people like Ross and Adam who bothered me greatly in ways that only brothers could. With Matty and all his eccentricity. Who’s love shined bright and came in bursts of all sorts of colours. His love kept me on my toes and breathless, it came with a family, how his sort of became mine. 

And then with George, who had shown me a whole new meaning to the word. Who gave me another place to live and to grow, a home who was just a person. He warmed me, made me feel safe. His love let me wander, and it let me feel free. His love came in gentle touches and kisses so deep. When I was around his love I wanted to forget my own name. And when he left me, I don’t know how I really stayed steady. The whole world tilted on its head and shook the ground beneath me. He left and I’d never felt that much pain. Everything around me grew silent, life dulled. That love I felt dimmed.

He looked up at me now, in a room so far away from the one we’d once shared. His very presence made me weak, made that grief I always felt so much more profound. He loves me. But I don’t know if I believe him. I love him. But I’m also a liar. That I knew. 

He’d given me the decision this time around. Because he’d been selfish the last, when he’d left with not even a warning. But it felt selfish now too, for him to leave it all up to me. 

Up to me… 

I love you.

His words, not mine.

I love you.

Said so quietly.

He’d left me with a choice. One he had to know would only rip me in two again.

And so I kissed him. It was almost a parallel to our first, over wrinkled bedsheets and in a house neither of us owned. It took me back. His hand was stilled my hair, his nose brushed against my own and the skin of my cheek. My chest ached with it. Lungs filled with lost air, dwindling.

I was tired of being brave, I thought. My whole life I’d been fighting. With him he made it feel so easy, but I was scared. Scared that letting him back in meant giving up. 

What was braver, to stay or to go?

I pulled away, kept my eyes closed as we caught our breath in the heady sun-warmed villa, foreheads pressed together.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“I know.”

“I love you.”

I paused. That hole in me ached again.

“I know.”

Then I asked him to leave.

—

The air felt different here. So many miles away from the little town I’d grown up in. 

The skies were bluer, clearer here. The sun shone brighter, warmer. Walking felt easier.

I let myself get lost in the old town, I gazed over the shore and the sand, murmured quietly to owners of quaint market stalls in the main square. I let my feet lead me this way and that. Under a aging clocktower as it gonged and behind a row of multi-coloured houses. I didn’t think. Wouldn’t let myself. I counted as high as I could. Reminded myself of the colours of the rainbow. Kept my gaze trained on every sound I heard, children laughing, mopeds speeding past, talks over early lunches. 

I didn’t know why I’d ended up here. Maybe it was because I needed to know. Know if I could love without him. If I could just try. I went and sat in the waiting room, cardigan clenched in shaking hands, eyes stuck on it.

I felt the bench beside me dip under his weight a little while later and I knew it was him without even having to look. He had this aura about him, this grace. He didn’t speak, didn’t utter a word, simply sat and waited with me, or for me rather. I couldn’t be too sure. I didn’t think I’d ever felt this confused. 

“How’d you know I was here?” I asked him after a prolonged pause. I hadn’t said a word to anyone after I’d arrived, just left it up to chance as I took a seat here in the waiting room to this massive hospital. 

I hadn’t seen much of it the first time around. 

Alvaro shifted next to me slightly, I could see the trim of his crisp white coat out of the corner of my eye. “My horoscope told me to be on the look out for an unexpected traveller.” He teased and I cracked a small smile down at my hands, before I glanced up and over to him. His eyes searched mine for a long second, before he then told me the truth. “I saw you here just as I was going on break.”

I nodded, guilt creeping its way in again. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

He waved me off, shaking his head with a kind smile. “You could never. I mean, I could have just hidden, no? If I didn’t want to see you.”

I blew a small laugh out of my nose, “I suppose.”

He grinned over at me, pleased to see me smile it seemed. “I was hoping I would see you again.”

My eyes drifted back and forth between his own, “Oh?”

He hummed a quiet confirmation, grinning at a toddler that stormed on by, “You left an impression.”

I had to chuckle at that. “I’ve heard that a few too many times before.”

He smiled. 

We shared a comfortable silence then, letting the rush of the hospital fill the empty space between us. I fiddled with the wool of my cardigan.

“You know,” I started out quietly, thinking the words over before I let my tongue taste them, “When we first met, I thought you wanted to steal that chair.”

Alvaro’s expression turned to one of bemusement and I cracked another unavoidable smile.

“Not steal, steal. Just, the restaurant was busy, I thought you might’ve wanted the chair for another table. You know?”

He chuckled and dipped his head in an agreeable nod, glancing up at me with a coy smile. 

“But instead you just sat down.” I giggled, the absurdity of it still amused me even now. “You just sat down and you sort of… made me believe in people again. Is that weird?”

Alvaro looked back at me, eyes focused, sharp now, but still warm. He didn’t laugh me off or make me feel stupid, instead he took a small breath and shifted in his seat to better face me. “No. I don’t think it’s weird. It’s like how I didn’t know that me sitting down with you would lead to us talking for as long as we did. About the books we shared and the love of all things food.” He gifted me an affectionate smile. “Sometimes the universe, it just gives us what we need in the moment we need it most.”

“And did you need it?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, and I almost regretted it when I watched the way his expression turned graver, how he begun to toy with his thumbs. 

“It was my first day back.” I frowned at his vague reply, confused for a second, but he soon continued on, “I, I lost my mother, a few weeks before we first met, and I took some time off to…”

“Grieve.”

He nodded at me, smile small but there. “Yes. Sitting with you in that little bistro, it was the first time I spoke about her without breaking down. It felt like she was still there, you know? But not waiting for me to come home anymore, instead she was just all around.”

I did know. I knew that feeling very well. 

“That day, I was supposed to be on a twelve hour shift. I was, how do you say? Not looking forward to it.” We shared a mirthful smile. “Then I saw you and, I don’t know, you captivated me.”

I glanced away, almost embarrassed. Bashful. That was not something I’d heard before. 

Alvaro chuckled, but not unkindly. “You were alone, like me. I think I saw a likeness there. We were of the same.”

My first thought was that I couldn’t picture him sad. That it felt strange to even imagine. And I couldn’t even comprehend that this person sat beside me, so full of life, so open, could hurt the same. How he stayed so positive through it all. 

“If it had been anyone else, I don’t think I could have done it.”

“What, sat down?” I questioned, looking back at him now. He nodded his head.

“I just didn’t think about it. One second I was on the street looking in, and then…” he shrugged.

I let that sink in.

A truth for a truth? Was that the way of the world, or was that just ours? George and I’s. Or, maybe just mine now.

“Matty- you remember him? Crazy curls, big grin?” I said and Alvaro nodded again, laughing quietly whilst I smiled. “Well, he was the one to surprise me with this trip. I’d been… I’d been going through a lot. This past year, it’s been hard. Harder than I expected, to be honest. I sort of felt like I’d lost everything and had been forced to start over again.”

Alvaro blinked, casting his eyes down to the tiled floor then back up at me again, as though he was contemplating his words. “This has something to do with your other friend? The one who was here.”

It wasn’t really a question though. It was something he was certain of, but unsure on whether to bring up. I swallowed and dipped my chin in reply.

“He- We were together for a long time.” I revealed, voice soft, almost getting swept up in the hustle and bustle of the crowd which surrounded us. “We ended- well, really he, ended things rather abruptly. I, I just didn’t see it coming, you know? One second everything was fine, I was happy. I thought he was too. And then. Then he was gone and I was on my own again.”

I had to take a deep breath, calm the emotional storm welling inside of my chest. It still felt like it’d happened only yesterday. 

“I’d never really pictured life without him. From the minute we met there was just something about him. He had my heart before he ever even asked for it.” I went on, gaze locked on the cardigan I continued to cling onto like a lifeline. “I was on my own before. I had people. Friends. But never someone like him. I knew everything about him, and him me. Everyone thought we were it. The type that would hold out. But then I was stuck, he’d dropped me and I was just stuck wondering what I’d done wrong. He broke my heart, he broke me. And everything that followed…” I chuckled hollowly, defeated, “My life just fell apart after. I lost our flat, my job. The friends we shared. He was my entire world. And then he was gone.”

Alvaro’s hand reached out to carefully take mine, he unfisted it from the tight hold I had on my cardigan. I was crying then I realised, but not really. Muted tears that rolled down the bones of my cheeks. His palm fell onto the back of my hand and his fingers linked between mine effortlessly. My eyes slipped closed.

I heard him inhale beside me before he finally spoke again, quieter than I’d ever heard him before.

“When he arrived here, after you were admitted, I was sat in the ward. I didn’t know who he was or that he was here for you- God, I didn’t even know you were here.” He chuckled lowly, thinking back to it, “But he was panicked. The nurses were surprised, and I was too. But you often see people so full of fear in hospitals. The not knowing is hard, for everyone. I think he had a bag slung over his shoulder and he looked tired, but mostly just scared. I only remember because I was the one who spoke to him, whilst one of the on-call nurses tried to find any information to give him. He didn’t say a single word, but he looked… he looked haunted. Like a man who had a gun to his head. And it worried even me- this man, not much younger than myself, stood there in front of me just begging to be told something good. Silently praying for it. As though he would drop down dead there otherwise.”

I kept my eyes closed, lips pinched to keep from outright sobbing at his words. 

“I think the nurse said something because I remember looking over to her, and he must have heard first or seen something I hadn’t because he was gone in the next second. I tried to go after him but,” He stilled and then shrugged a single shoulder, “I had patients to look after, staff waiting for scans and test results. I only saw him again that same morning you were released. He wouldn’t look me in the eye, but I knew it then. That you were also the same, both so stubborn. You were upset with him and I didn’t know why, but you kept on stealing glances. I remember seeing you, too scared to look away and not find him still there, whilst acting as though you didn’t care whether he stayed or he left.”

A muffled, broken sob spurted from me at that and he cradled an arm around me to pull me in closer. I cried into his shoulder, not sparing a second thought to those around us.

“Sometimes the people we love they hurt us. Sometimes they leave. But often times they hurt too. So much that they can’t help the pain that spills out of them and onto us. I think,” Alvaro paused and I felt him tighten his hold on my hand a fraction, “I think you need to talk to him, corazón. Maybe then you’ll find some relief. Some happiness.”

I gulped down whatever lump had risen with my tears and pressed my lips tightly together before finally pulling away. I must’ve looked an absolute state and I heard how hoarse my voice sounded when I went to apologise for it, “I, I’m so sorry, Alvaro. I don’t know what came over me, why I even turned up here.” I sniffed, feeling so silly, but he merely smiled in turn, his hand still in mine.

“There’s no need for sorry’s, I’m glad that you came.” He assured me and I chuckled self-depreciatingly.

“What, even after I cried all over your shoulder?”

He laughed sweetly, “Even after you cried all over my shoulder.”

I smiled and wiped the tears from under my eyes, still feeling so emotional. “I am sorry though, for just turning up and disrupting your day.”

Alvaro shook his head, “It was a highlight, I promise!” 

I couldn’t help but blow out a soft chuckle as we both stood. He squeezed my hand once more before he dropped it and I stepped froward to wrap him up in a hug, beyond thankful for his presence. For the advice he’d given me.

“Make sure you stop in again before you leave, okay? Your friends too.” He murmured over my head and I smiled up at him and agreed. 

“Promise.”

“Good, good. And this man of yours, make sure you tell him everything, si?” Alvaro added, stepping away again. “Even if it hurts, because to hurt means to grieve. It’ll help.”

My head tilted to one side as my smile broadened. “How did you become so wise? Is it a doctor thing?” I was teasing but only just, he merely had a way with words it seemed.

“My abuelita.” He replied with a sheen to his eyes, smiling all the while. “There was nothing she could not fix.”

I stared up at him, cardigan now falling limp beside me. “And what would she say to me? To fix this.”

With a chuckle Alvaro spoke, not even needing to think about it. “Tardé una hora en conocerte y solo un día en enamorarme. Pero me llevará toda una vida lograr olvidarte.” He smiled at me softly, “It was something she often said to my agüelo whenever they squabbled.”

It took me an hour to meet you and only a day to fall in love. But it will take me a lifetime to forget you.

It was beautiful.

And I told him so around a grateful smile. 

Part Twenty-six>

[twothpaste]

I saw this post you made https://www.tumblr.com/twothpaste/748684553658515456?source=share and it reminded me of your Intermission AU fic, Hatchback, where the Chosen 4 are basically on a road trip! IIRC there's a flash forward to the future where Paula is a teacher, and she's called "Mrs. Jones" that would imply she's married. Who's she married to? And what happened with her family after she pursued education, especially considering how her mother was heavily against it? And how are the rest of the Intermission AU cast doing in the future?

Aw jeez, that's a lot of big questions! How 'bout I be a little silly and answer them in reverse order 🤸‍♂️

Future Lucas & Claus do wildlife rehab work together. If I think too hard about them tending gently to sick baby deer & mending birds with busted wings, I get teary-eyed sappy and have to sit down. Kuma refuses to settle into any particular career, genuinely happier hopping between employment and doing odd jobs she calls "freelance work". She marries a lady named Ash - based on a kinda communal headcanon about Kuma dating one of the Tittiboo waitresses - I swear I'll draw her someday. Duster becomes increasingly eccentric over time, a gracelessly aging Z-list rockstar.

Future Ness is a civil engineer, doing his small part to try and make suburbia a less hellish place to live, for his boring little family & everyone else besides. Paula starts her teaching career as a college adjunct, intending to work her way toward tenure, but derails into teaching high school for a while due to some circumstance or other. Though teaching niche college courses was always her dream, she unexpectedly realizes there's a lot of good she can do for high school kids, so she sticks with it much longer than she'd planned. By the time she does eventually get back around to becoming a college professor, she's probably in her 40's or 50's. Jeff designs rockets & satellites for the European Space Agency, while Tony jogs their jack russell terrier 5 miles a day and engages in cartoonishly daring news reporting work. Poo goes on wild anthropological surveys all around the world, and never gets into politics (much to his family's immense displeasure, but they can deal).

Future Porky probably never gets better ❤️. Picky comes out as a trans woman in her mid 20s. Tracy supports her all the way. Flint and Lighter are off having an Old Men With Pickup Trucks Slow Burn Friends To Lovers Redneck Romance in their 60s, but I'll never write it, so you'll have to fill in the blanks yourself.

I have not resolved the Paula's Mom Plotline in my head yet. As much as I'd like for her mom to chill the fuck out and let Paula be Paula, I think the hard lesson of coming to terms with a parent's faults is probably more the direction it's headed in. There's also the mess of like? Her dad supports his daughter despite everything, but he's too spineless to challenge his wife over it, and he's also dealing with some kinda debilitating illness?? The conflict might come to a head during her senior year. I've got a Paula fic idea floating around on my backburner, so I'll probably sort it out sooner than later. Regardless, our gal's gonna set firm boundaries and live her life.

As for "who is Paula married to," there is actually a possible or probable answer. The catch is: absolutely none of y'all are gonna like it ☺️. As some of you may have gathered, my funny Mother College AU is very and truly crossed over with [ my Dana's ] funny Yugioh College AU. The amount of interconnected nonsense going on offscreen would make your head spin, and this happens to be one of our silliest interconnected nonsenses.

There's this kid from Zexal named Dumon, he's canonically a tragic historical figure and a horse enthusiast and also an alien for a while, don't worry about it. Dana's college Dumon is a nerdy little butch lesbian (I mean, [ look at him ]), who - like Paula - also spends about 90% of his time at the campus library. It started as a joke <- fatal last words. They share a love of pretentious literary analysis and medieval history and quiet noontime study sessions spent over expensive lattes. Dumon's still a bit shy of her noisy bunch o' D&D friends, but maybe they'll break the ice one of these days. Paula's mom keeps forgetting his name. Paula keeps having to firmly remind her he's from Utah, not Arkansas. And that yes lesbians can use he/him pronouns, they've been doing it for decades, gosh Mom can you get with the program already.

Anyways, if things keep going the direction they're headed, my Paula might very well be marrying a Yugioh character. Thanks for asking, anon! ^_^

[woodenpicador]

got an interesting pair of anons on CuriousCat that I posted on Twitter so I thought it would be worth posting here (h/t @sappy-sappho for the idea to cross-post)

reminder that shauna, nat, jackie, and lottie are all canonically straight!

are they? i think we can say that shauna, nat, and jackie have canonically had intimate relationships with men, though i would argue that the show portrays those relationships in ways that intend the audience to question their motivations and desires in those moments. Lottie has kissed Travis while tripping balls but I am very hesitant to ascribe anything about genuine desire to that. I wonder whether canon/non-canon may have outlived its usefulness as a distinction: text, subtext, or metatext feels like a more interesting framework to examine media

shauna stole jackie’s boyfriend married him and had a kid. lottie tried to hook up with nats boyfriend. the key word is boy. shauna also wanted to fuck travis and her daughters boyfriend. she had a whole affair with a man. nat was in love with kevin. they’re all straight. u know u can ship characters without making up lies right? the only lesbians on the show are van and tai! u don’t need to include straight girls in lesbianism.

you raise a lot of points and I’m going to try to address them all. starting with the accounting of plot: so I don’t think these are INVALID reads of textual events necessarily—though Nat being in love with Kevyn is an interpretation of the text and not indisputable in the text itself and I really would not describe Lottie in Doomcoming as trying to hook up with Travis—but I don’t think they bear as neatly on “are these characters straight” as you present here and in fact complicate it more. I’m not here to police identities but I don’t think any of this actually precludes any of these characters from being lesbians, whether closeted or in denial or unsure or simply not knowing at the time at which these events occur. people discover themselves on different trajectories, and people do things they don’t want to do all the time (Shauna even specifically says she had Callie to save a marriage that she “got into out of guilt and shame”). the question is and remains: are these characters acting on an attraction to men or are they acting on something else? the nature of the medium makes these questions largely unanswerable in a strict “canon” sense. no character states their identity on any axis with particularized clarity, it can only be inferred and interpreted from text, subtext, and metatext. which, for instance, is how we know that tai and van are lesbians, even though neither of them outright says “I’m a lesbian.”

which brings me to what I think is the more critical point here: you’ve positioned lesbianism and straightness as a binary option, “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” - which I think neglects the different forms identity and attraction can take. Shauna, who shows attraction to men in 1996 only when they are marked by Jackie and in 2021 only when that attraction is abstract versus the concrete article, transgresses against the roles of wife and mother that she has constructed to imprison her for the duration of her life sentence, may be a closeted or in-denial lesbian or she may simply be bisexual. Nat may be (I would argue is) bisexual. at no point did I represent that they’re lesbians, but I wouldn’t reject an interpretation that they are. But bisexuality isn’t “including straight girls in lesbianism” and having had sex with men does not forever exclude you from a lesbian identity by simple fact of having done it. Jackie, whose attraction to men is so tied up in layers of performance, I would argue is clearly written as a lesbian even if you don’t buy the “Shauna and Jackie are in love with each other” formulation. but these are interpretations, no more right than anyone else’s—and no more wrong, either.

but I am a fic writer first and foremost, so no, I cannot ship two characters without telling lies upon lies. it’s fiction, none of it is “true” in the factual sense, but if it is successful, whether fan work or canon, it is true in the emotional sense

[alpineshift]

OMG MYL!!!! The camping fic I’m?!

I have a lot of thoughts and I will be dropping them all right here so enjoy my ramblings.

The outdoorsy-ness of all the scenes, I am in love like Jack is in love with that clear, light pollution free, night sky.

But Nico had wanted to try camping together. Mister Nature himself, so eager and so keen on the idea of sleeping in a tent and renting out kayaks and going stargazing on a picnic blanket in the woods, had gazed at Jack with so much hope in those big sparkly princess eyes of his. And Jack had folded faster than a stack of cards, never in the habit of saying no to his boyfriend.

Yess yes YES! Because I know how we always say Nico can’t say no to Jack and his puppy eyes but also, the other way around it’s 100% true.

“It’s so big,” Jack settles on. “And like, really fuckin’ quiet, Hisch. If I scream, do you think anyone will hear?”

“Our neighbours down the road probably will,” Nico says, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe don’t let them think I’m murdering you or something, yeah?”

“No promises,” Jack jokes, and hops out of the car.

Loooove this

“Then our tent is going to be lopsided and your eye is going to start twitching because it’s not symmetrical.”

YES. Jack-who has all of his 25 pair of identical white Nike Air Forces perfectly lined up beside each other on the shoe rack-Hughes.

“I’m justifiably annoyed at this shit design. I could set this whole thing up no problem if it were better.”

“I believe you,” Nico says, reassuringly

This is sooo nicojack to me like Jack being annoyed and trying to sort of still defend his honour and Nico just indulging him like of course he could, it’s not him it’s totally just the tent. He isn’t incapable.

And because he’s Nico—he’s smart and perfect and competent in every way, they end up putting the tarp up and over the tent in a matter of minutes.

Sweet, prefect Nico 🥹

Nico ruffles his hair, utilizing the unhelpful extra three inches he has on Jack to be a menace. (He does drop a kiss on Jack’s forehead though, so he’s an adorable menace instead.)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

True to form and his Hischier genetics (Jack has watched all three siblings pass out on the couch during a summertime nap hour with almost terrifying synchrony), Nico doesn’t even react.

I support this Nico headcanon sooo hard!!! He’s grumpy in the mornings and a deep sleeper and yes he occasionally snores.

“We’re not playing a game, babe. I have to fucking pee and it’s dark outside and it’s freaky as hell. Come with me.”

Nico squints at him. “Go find a bush then…?”

Jack sputters. “I am not just peeing in the bushes like a goddamn animal, Hisch.”

Yesss we talked about this part, love it!

Nico pouts at him, full sad-eyes and wobbly lower lip. If he were a puppy, his tail and ears would be drooping.

SAD COW EYES NICO YES

Also the way he offers for Jack to pick what they’re going to do that day to make amends and Jack knowing it’s a big deal because he knows Nico was so excited to go onto that trail. THEM.

“I can make it,” Jack says at once, because if there’s one thing he hates more than cardio it’s the notion that he can’t do it.

10000%!!! No notes on that

Thank you for gracing the world with this beautiful Nicojack camping trip fic as an extension of that ask answer you already wrote so perfectly. I looove it and I know I will be rereading this so many times. Bestest gift 🥹

this is how I am!!! after your message!!! I am melting aaaaa you are too too sweet 🥹🥹🥹 the brainstorming sesh was so much fun for me, I hope I managed to capture a nice camping experience overall hehe.

everyone needs a Nico in their life to camp with, imo. jack's just luckier than the rest of us lololol

these two have been so married lately I think it's making me feel extra sappy writing them. just so fond of each other!!

thank you so much for reading!! and this incredible feedback, I'm v lucky I got to chat so much with you about fics. I'm going to be the one going back to re-read your msg ehe 🩵🩵🩵

[voidwritesstuff]

Long Way To The Truth

->cw: angst,mentions of ptsd, your usual Lucas stuff.

->chapter three: Arkansas pt2// Oklahoma.

->reblogs over likes.

A little weirded out,he packs up his stuff and leaves. The road before him its still pretty wet,so he drives slowly and taking Wheelers advice.

He could afford to take the day slow,to relax,just this once.

Most of the trip across Arkansans is pretty calm, just towns and towns. Some nice people,some mildly annoying ones,but its as normal as his trip could get.

The most interesting thing he had during the trip was while he was taking a break from Driving. The heat is not that bad at that moment, hes sitting on the floor of his van with a guitar in hand.

Said guitar wasnt his,it was Wheeler's. He was going to be their band's guitarist,it did go to wheeler's head for a few days, and he was a goddamn menace about It. He spent days bragging about how he would get all the chicks and leave the others with none. (To which Lucas would reply that the jokes on him because Lucas himself is Bisexual).

Regardless, he sits on the floor of the van,leaning Back on some of his bags and boxes and he starts to strum what few chords he remembers.

The strumming continues for a bit as his thoughts swirl to the beat of the song. Hes composed a few of songs before,kept them all to himself.

But around him theres not that Many people only the passing cars of the road, no-one is paying attention to him.

So,it Beggins in a humm,tuning his voice to the chords. He takes a deep breath and...

--See me and the boys

We got plans for what comes later

After the war

Got names for a band

And jobs for each other-- he sings,looking at his Journal,Open beside him where he has a picture of him and his Friends.

He was the youngest of his team, the platoon's Child that Wheeler fawned over like a mother hen. Even if his captain denied any favoritism, it was clear as day that if anything happened to Lucas,Alphonso wouldve totally commited a few war crimes.

--so,do you have any children?-- Lucas asked Alphonso once while they Ate lunch.-- you seem like ya do

--Nah,me n my Lady are waitin' for me to come back home to try. Ion wanna lose my baby's first steps or words. --Wheeler answered, eating a bite from his food-- but honestly I think at this Point we might as well adopt you

Lucas chuckles,a little embarassed but moved, he clears his throat trying to play it off-- c'mon Man,dont Rob me of the experience of being the cool uncle

--Fine fine I wont. On one condition-- his captains eyes had that look in his face, that mischevious glint that meant that he was going to thoroughly embarass him by being cheesy and sappy-- I get to be your best Man when you get married

The younger Man nodded-- deal,you better not embarass me infront of my future spouse though

--Cant make any promises,kiddo-- Alphonso replied with a teasing smirk.

God,those were the days.

--It feel really good, whoa

I'm crashing, I'm crashing down

Everyone's crashing

But as long as we're together-- he keeps singing, the memory sitting like a weight on his chest.

Maybe after this,he should check on Wheeler's wife,she was in a retirement home in Tennesee, he visited her during the anniversary of Wheeler's death and during the holidays,hes taken her to some of his family gatherings before.

To this day,she maintains that hes the son she and Alphonso never had, Hence why he has Wheeler's guitar and some of his memorabilia.

Anger,regret, sadness and grief pour from his voice as he sings each word,a little shaky and weak--Ooh, and the drummer plays

A beat too long and the whole damn song

Starts to fall apart

Ooh, by show of hands

The group disbands, and they won't be back

By popular demand 

"Im with you,every step of the way. Keep going,kid"

Those words echo in his mind, and it almost feels like Wheeler is showing him New chords he didnt know with the way that his fingers press down on different parts of the guitar's neck. They just sort of come to him.

Its like he can almost hear him say "Like this- no youre doing it wrong,that finger goes here. Atta boy"

--Believe it now, believe it then

As long as you believe it when

It comes knocking, it comes knocking for your friends

Between the times we used to spend

And now the feeling never bends

I noticed and I notice it again-- he sings,pouring his feelings into the dragging of the words. The strumming becomes a lot more fluid,Like an actual song hes played over,and over again.

He even gets a small Disney princess moment because a few of the critters like birds and squirrels get closer to him to hear what hes playing

But putting his feelings into words is really good for his anguish,it makes him feel a lot lighter and at ease with that constant maelstorm of unresolved issues. He eventually does put away the guitar and grabs his Journal,as much as it stings him je writes down a little item that says "get a therapist ( a good one)".

The only reason hes considering seeing a therapist again is because of Wheeler, he needs to take the reigns of his mental health somehow. The worlds huge,this country was huge, there has to be at least one therapist that Will hear him out.

Right after that,he resumes his Driving. And by nightfall hes already in Oklahoma,which does help him quite a bit with his anxiety.

During the night, he found himself a nice parkinglot to park,a little in the shadows of the streelights. Hes currently writing down on his Journal before going to bed.

"Diary entry #200.

Already in Oklahoma,im so sick of Driving so much. Theres still a few days until I reach Milton-Haven, but I also find myself enjoying the trip, havent been outside for this long in a good while.

It feels just like the hunting road trips me and my dad would do every year when I was a kid.

I think im going to find a room for the night tonight, despite the fact that I might need to sleep on the floor. But it would be great to not half freeze my ass for one night.

Regardless, heres my to do list for when I get to MH.

•find a place to stay.

•find a job (prefferably a quiet sort of job)

•research about Mayer and possible facilities they May own. (Visit town hall)

•find documents about AR.

• find a therapist (A good one)."

After that,he closes the Journal and goes to bed. Lately,as hes been able to think about his past and process it, hes had less run Ins with bad dreams and his PTSD related. He low key hates how actually confronting his emotions helps.

But regardless of that,his sleep goes uninterrupted, and Next morning he continued his trip after getting breakfast.

Nothing of note happens thruought the day. The night however does bring Lucas something interesting, as he entered the bar, he noted the stage was getting ready for a performance.

And as he eats dinner he can hear the supposed band members argue over him

--Goddamnit,He cancelled?--A guy asked,sounding exhasperated.

--Its the third time this week!-- a girl added-- explain to me where are we getting a damn drummer now?!

--We cant cancell this gig- I cant afford it-- another guy says.

Lucas sighs,scratching the back of his neck. Was he really going to do this? He could just nope out,not his circus not his monkeys. It would be exposing himself to a large crowd,there could be some goverment agent in there and-.

--I dont get why we even made this band in the first place! -- the girl said-- stupid fucking- I cant fucking belive it. Its a waste of damn time

Fine,fuck,guess hes doing this.

After he eats dinner,he goes to talk with the band. Telling them who he is and that hes good at drums,and in their desesparation the band accepts.

--Im isabell--says the girl-- im the vocalist of the Group, this is Leon, hes the bassist and this is Jay the guitarrist.

Lucas wouldve Flinched if he heard that a few days ago,but for some reason now hes a lot more at ease when the memory of Alphonso pops out.

--Nice to make yer acquaintance, what song are yall playin'?

Isabell scratches the back of her neck-- we're uh playing the Trooper by iron maiden

A smile appears on the face of the ex soldier-- neat,I know the chords to that song. I really like it actually

--Oh thank god-- the main singer exclaims-- de can go fix up the Seat for you n all, we gotta get ready anyway

--Sounds great, lets do it then

Lucas cant help but look at the main three of the band as they get ready and tune their instruments. He can tell theyve been Friends for a while because of the way they interact, he smiles fondly at the sight,wondering if him and his Friends wouldve been the same way if they ever did manage to form that band that they wanted to form.

Before the show,Isabell seems a little anxious as she warms up her voice, It makes him feel for her as she sits on the steps to the stage as she looks down with this fearful look in her eyes. on a whim he decided to sit with her and talk, see if he could help.

--Hey, whats up?-- he asked,putting a hand on her shoulder.

--Ah nothing- stage Fright. I always get it before every show- theres a lotta people in here and it makes me nervous-- she explains, passing her hands across her face-- the owner said that if we do good tonight, we'll become The Band of the bar. Its huge for us you know?

He nodds-- yeah I get that, seems quite daunting-- his hands reach to Grab the dog tags hidden underneath his flannel-- but yknow after a lifetime of well, war, i-ive realized something. No matter how scared you are- its better to just- just do it rather than running away

--How did you deal with the Fear?--She asked,eyes setting on the dogtags. She seems a little distracted from her anguish.

--beside just doing the damn thing even if I was shittin' myself internally?-- he asked, and at that she laughed and nodded-- had really good Friends-- he nodds towards her bandmates-- for..-for me it was my captain -- he takes a deep breath as he considers what hes about to do-- for you? Its leon and Jay, im a pretty observant guy and ive seen the way yall act together. Im sure those boys would follow you to the ends of the earth if you just asked. So dont be afraid to reach out- here,gimme your hand

A little curious and quite moved,she offers his hand as he takes off his dogtags and places them on her palm-- hopefully this helps, I have one of the tags of my captain on that chain. And since yer singing The Trooper, its only appropiate you have something army related.

Isabell smiles,putting on the dogtags. The weight of the metal is oddly soothing-- Thanks, Lucas.

He smiles and pats their back-- s'nuthin.-- he stands up and dusts himself off-- c'mon kid,lets get the show started -- he helps her up and smiles reassuringly.

Soon,the show starts. Lucas hits the drumsticks together, marking the beat of the song before he starts playing,leon and Jay join in and so the instrumental begins.

The vocalist presses her hand against the dogtags as she gets ready to sing, she feels the warm metal against her palm, takes a deep breath and looking upon the semi crowded room begins singing.

--You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too

You'll fire your musket, but I'll run you through

So when you're waiting for the next attack

You'd better stand, there's no turning back-- and damn, shes quite good at it. She follows along to the melody with no issue, her voice doesnt break or falter as the lyrics flow in the air like mist.

Lucas gets a smile on his face that grows bigger and bigger as the Group gets more and more into the song.

And he cant help but laugh internally at how impressed the crowd looks at the performance of the band. One dude looks particularly impressed, and he wonders If thats the owner of the gig.

--The horse, he sweats with fear, we break to run

The mighty roar of the Russian guns

And as we race towards the human wall

The screams of pain as my comrades fall-- isabell has put her soul into her singing, as if a siren was the vocalist of a metal band.

Theres a catharsis in the way theyre playing the song, especially for Lucas who can relate more than most to the lyrics. He doesnt hold back either and he plays as if nobody is watching, all he can hope for is that he doesnt break the drum set.

By the end of the show the crowd is a mess of cheering and screaming, Jay and Leon pick up their vocalist friend and sort of throws her up to then catch it again.

Isabell is all smiles as she talks to a man afterwards, the one he correctly guessed to be the owner.

In that moment he gets ready to leave, but as he makes his way to the van, the band stops him.

--Lucas hold on!--says Leon, running up to him.

--Hey yall, whats up?--He asked.

--Two things-- the vocalist girl says,outta breath, taking off the dogtags-- these and-

--You wanna be part of our band?--Jay asked Straight up,gaining a glare from his friends-- what?! You two were going to make a whole fanfarre over it. So id rather just ask

Lucas shifts his gaze between the three of them,pretty amused. He puts on his dogtags and answers-- ah im sorry,I cant. Im on a sort of moving to Washington,gonna visit an old friend while im at it and 'm already runnin' late.

--Shame-- Isabell answered, a little dissappinted-- but-but thank you,you literally saved us-

--S'nuth--the ex soldier doesnt finish his phrase before Isabell gives him a big tight hug. He hugs back a little confused but endeared.

--This band has been her dream-- leon explains once the girl pulls back from the embrace-- means a lot to her- to us. Even if we dont have any names for our band yet

--Well see that I can help with-- Lucas said with a smirk-- yall remind me of me and my war buddies, we talked about a band once and we wanted to call ourselves "the ragtags" 'cuz we came from all 'round the US. Since that bands never happening,i leave it up to yall youngsters to Carry the torch for me- us

The three look at eachother and nodd enthusiastically-- Will do,take care dude-- says leon,shaking Lucas' hand, so does Jay.

--You too,all of you -- he replied,to then adress isabell and say-- and you have one hell of a voice, by the way.

In that instant,isabell goes red as a tomato, to which Jay rolls his eyes a little. -- a uhm thanks, hey do you uhm m-

Jay and leon Grab their friend and slowly drags her away, she kicks and complains trying to get out of their grasp. --YOU ASSHOLES I WAS GONNA ASK FOR HIS NUMBER.

--Leave the guy alone!--Leon Shouts.

--HES GODDAMN CUTE. --isabell yells back.

Jay looks thoroughly embarassed and exclaims a quick-- SORRY--at Lucas before dragging her into the bar.

Lucas stands there mistified, a little flustered. --Yep,still got it-- he mutters with a smirk before grabbing his keys and getting into his van to drive to a motel nearby.

[fff777]

Stumbled upon this video of Got7 going to Jeju Island that I'd never seen before

Jinyoung breaking the illusion: Well there are cameras so it isn't technically a vacation ^^;;

Jackson: Paragliding without the parachute!

Bambam & Youngjae: I'm on a boat!!!!

I think Jackson dropped something on the floor? But why does Jinyoung have to hold his head like that.

Mark got voluntold to drive but he was like "...I think I'd get lost :<"

Jinyoung: Our goal is to make money so let's just buy stuff and the mark it up Evil capitalism man

Yugyeom just suggesting what he wants to eat and everyone including the video editors making fun of his childish tastes. I'm with you Yugyeom, I also have the taste buds of a child T_T

I am one of those people who like ice cream in winter so Jackson is not wrong. I also like ice cream in all seasons.

Jackson's names for the food truck are just variations of got, seven, and truck

Jaebeom's simple food truck name an instant flop

Mark's certainly feeling hyper for the trip :3 He's so chatty.

Mark too is a bunk bed enthusiast :3

After Jinyoung put on his perfume/cologne Yugyeom said he smelled like Yugyeom's dad

Mark thinking about the absolute worst case scenarios like the staff abandoning them and taking their luggage away when they get to Jeju

Road trip!!

Got7 surprisingly competent at making eggs. I mean, Yugyeom's egg was not as bad as Mark Lee's from NCT lol.

Look at how many people are there filming...

I'm getting sappy but busy kitchens are cozy to me :3

They are all decent cooks eh? :3 Or does the food just look good because I'm hungry right now haha.

Crab in soup noodles sounds so good

Bambam trusts Jackson's dishwashing but not Yugyeom's. Baby syndrome.

Mark found a perfectly good seat on Jinyoung's lap.

Jinyoung suggested doing the group chant before they went off and everyone was like that's so cheesy! Old man tastes lol.

The guys laughing at Mark and Jackson discussing what the bug is, in the mix of their Korean and English

Mark dolphin scream and Markson freestyle rap

Mark and Jackson getting distracted by pajamas at the store

Aw they ended up buying a pair of pajamas for each member.

The food truck is cute :3

They're borrowing someone's food truck so they can't get rid of the stuff that's already there because the owner will need it again later. So they'll just have to cover things up.

Jaebeom saw the pajama pants and Mark explained it to him and Jaebeom just sighed lol

Yugyeom can't handle spicy food. Taste buds of a child, like me.

Jackson getting kicked by Yugyeom for his failed aegyo

Bambam said that painting reminded him of kindergarten :3

Bambam helped his mom with her restaurant a year before debut <3

This is so cozy, Got7 have such good teamwork. I think I'm used to newer variety content that focuses on games and the funnies. These guys are really taking the food truck seriously and it's nice watching them help each other <3 There was shenanigans with the grocery team but the decorating team was working quietly on the signs. And then now they're testing the recipes and evaluating and making them better together <3

Mark took home economics in high school :P

Filming crew forced to try all of the cup rices XD

Jaebeom first being saved by Yugyeom because he had scissors and everyone else had rock but Yugyeom had paper.

Jaebeom so moved that he doesn't have to do the dishes XD

Yugyeom and Jaebeom super hyper for pre-sleep karaoke XD Believe it or not, they're sober XD

Jackson got out of bed and then tucked in Yugyeom uwu

Jaebeom was already up and watching a show on TV called "Uncovering the truth." I looked it up and it seems to be a documentary show about 'social issues, mysterious happenings, and unsolved crimes.'

Jackson wanted to surprise the members with breakfast :3

Wang Gae Park Gae with MarkBam asleep in the back

Jaebeom high pitched shrieking when the oil pops in the pan :P

Jaebeom, as he's cooking the nth batch of kimchi: I'm not going to cook for weeks

Bambam the artist drawing a poster with markers :3

Jackson: I'm still at a stage where driving is fun Joke's on me, driving was never fun for me T_T

AmeriThaiKong car talking in Konglish

Youngjae kidnapped Jinyoung into dancing with him on the street

Aw, they're nervous about whether the food truck will do well

I'm not sure what the certificate of sanitation signifies ^^;;

There's barely anyone in the park so they posted to social media ^^;;

Smell of failure is the joke of the day

Jackson accidentally promoting to the food truck owner

Jackson kind of peer pressured the first customer to their food truck lol

I think a lot of fans would have gone to the area after seeing social media

Youngjae's tuna mayo rice is very popular :3

Jinyoung is the money man

Aw Mark took a pic with a group of friends and one of the guys high fived him haha. They just became bros.

That guy also high fived Yugyeom haha. I think he just wanted to high five all of the guys :3 I think Got7 would be so approachable though :3

Tuna mayo is sold out!

Jinyoung was getting very managerial since it was getting crowded and hectic and people needed to be able to line up properly.

Ham sold out

RICE sold out XD

Egg sold out

Jinyoung the manager of Mark thirst traps

Third day will be for playing :3

Jaebeom said that he would just rest at home if the guys went go-karting and Jinyoung said all or nothing!!

And then Mark said "I won't go if Jaebeom doesn't go" T_T

Got7 videos were playing at the bowling alley when they first got there :P

What is this fluorescent glow in the dark disco bowling alley lol

Tangerines for days

Nooo they forgot the pajama pants in the car so we didn't even get to see them with their funky pajama pants on

Jaebeom and Jinyoung the soulmates :3

Jaebeom and Youngjae and their taxi driver roleplay :P

Kitty :3

Mark didn't jump into the cold water pool, he let himself fall in XD

Jaebeom always distracted by cats

JB, a butler

Photographer JB :3

Loser X3 He noted that the menu was expensive and after looking around he was like "hey guys...should we go somewhere else?"

Jackson announcing that he's going to go out for ice cream again (after finishing his grilled ham/spam) and being like "let's go Yugyeom!" and Yugyeom's like "I won't go!" In the end, Jackson went by himself.

NO JACKSON DROPPED THE ICE CREAM

Jinyoung patting Jackson's head

Ah this was such a fun little show. It was more down to earth than I expected. I loved seeing the guys take the food truck seriously. It was fun seeing these guys actually get down and cook. There were funnies but it was just Jackson causing a ruckus and otherwise very silly jokes that all of the guys are in on :P It's always been clear that they're very good friends and I love that for them :3

[spaceyflowers]

HI ADRIEN!!! I hope you’re having a lovely day so far. 😩💓 TY FOR ALWAYS REBLOGGING, I LOVE YOUR TAGS AND I LOVE RRADING THE COMMENTS YOU HAVE. 🥰🥰🥰 I have a few questions for you, from a fellow writer! 😎🙌🏽

If you were to be sucked into the Lookism webtoon, what would your character be in the story?

Adding onto the first question as a Lookism character, who would be your main allies/friends and who would be your main enemies/foes? 😳

What is your favorite romance trope? 👀

Who is your favorite Lookism character to write for/write about?

Do you listen to music while writing/drawing? And if so, what do you listen to?

I hope this isn’t too much to ask. If it is, I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE. 😬🙏🏽 Wishing you a good rest of your day!! 😘

AWW HI CAT AKA FELLOW WRITER B] + OFC!! I HAVE "UNABLE TO SHUT UP" DISEASE SO IM GLAD U ALWAYS APPRECIATE MY WORDS 😭💖💖 (also apologies for answering this semi-late 💔)

speaking of my disease i went on quite a bit so im putting a cut after my first reply <3

my life in the lookism webtoon: realistically, i think i would be one of the j high student background charas who say funny one liners whenever humor is needed and then im never seen again JSHDJWJD

but if im allowed to be delusional then i want to be a member of big deal that plays an older sibling role to them like jake/sinu does 🫶 i think it'd also be nice to befriend some of the j high kids unknowingly lol

like i can imagine the j high trio showing up during the big deal vs workers arc and spotting me, going "hey, you're the nice person we meet at the cafe sometimes! you're a member of big deal?! you said you worked at a convenience store!" and im just like "well... i do work at a convenience store. on big deal's street. you guys never asked"

and ofc this means my main enemies would be gun, eugene/workers, and prob dg ^_^

fave romance trope: friends to lovers bc im such a sappy soft loser 🤞 also,, i was really sad when i saw u, day, and jann talking about friends to lovers being a bland trope a while ago but i understand 😭😭 i was going to say sumn but didnt want to be the "um ACTUALLY" guy 😭😭😭

anyways all i have to offer for what i had wanted to say is this 💔:

fave lookism chara to write for/about: hm... kind of a hard choice, but ironically i think it's probably my writing blog's top requested 3: james, gun, and jake. they're all starkly different compared to each other lol but their unique personalities are fun to write!! vin jin's also pretty fun to write bc of how obnoxious he is <3

listening to music while writing/drawing: YES MUSIC IS MY LIFE I WOULD BE LIFELESS WITHOUT IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #1 MUSIC ENTHUSIAST FOREVER ‼️ (thus why i am always asking for music reccs lol)

i listen to a wide variety of stuff in many languages!! indie, vocaloid, pop, jazz, rock, etc... unfortunately i am also the "i listen to every genre :] not country tho." guy and im not a fan of super heavy metal either u_u;;

most of the time i listen to whatever i want to fit the mood of what im working on! and since i usually work on romantic stuff (lol) that means ive usually got a romantic playlist/song on loop ^_^

ik this wasnt asked but here's a recc from me to you: finding something to do by hellogoodbye 💖 (this song makes me think of going on a fun road trip with a crush!)

OKAY THAT'S ALL dw about the question amount i had lots of fun answering them <33 !! i hope you have a very lovely day youself, cat!! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

[aestheticvoyage2023]

Day 210: Saturday July 29, 2023 - "The 210"

"Certain things among the shadows of a man's life, don't need to be remembered. -they remember themselves." Or was it me all along, choosing to bring it back up. The 210th day of the calendar year is always a marker of that year's growth; a tip of the hat to the past in a way that served me well in those first few years out of STL. And year over year, tracked here for posterity, Ive tipped that hat by trying to find something beautiful or meaningful, to find the good and the hope in the road ahead. A reminder to let the past be the past. I needed that for a long time, when I was lost out there, learning to be my own navigator. Its an amazing thing, that in this experiment of human experience, your favorite person can have turned out to be such a life lesson. A day on the calendar that I can touch each year as a momento of what I'd come through, and how I learned to be self-reliant, independent, confident, and creative. I am proud of the man I became. I continue to seek ways to keep evolving. The 210th day is a reminder of the importance of honoring every day with intentionality and resilience. Early on, I carried a touchstone in my pocket to remind me of the sea's harsh blows. Ive always felt I needed that day to marinate in and remember.

This late afternoon, after a long day of parenting hard, I strapped my little lion into the car seat and took a drive up the mountain. Id found some simple gifts up here on this day before and nothing is better for reflection than a long sappy windy road with good tunes. At the top, we got fudge at the country store and a new tow truck to play with, then ventured out onto Windy Point together, to play on the rocks and take in the view. Things were perfect. My life in that moment, was perfect. We facetimed in with Mama up from where we had our first kiss and shared our vows, and I just soaked in the love there with my family. And I decided to let all that past go. It took 13 years - and it finally struck me, in this new life, remembering that past, doesn't serve me anymore, and I let it go. The lesson had gotten me to where I needed to be. And while it isn't always pretty, its exactly what I had worked so hard for so long for. I drove back down the mountain changed. Empowered. If I felt a way about anything that happened in my past, it was because I was choosing to make myself feel that way. And I could choose to just let it go. I don't need that ghost driving and motivating me and inspiring to any expectation anymore. I have all the motivation I need holding my hand and looking up at me in front of that same great expanse that his Mama changed my life on. This was always the story. That is the beauty of this experiment in human experience. Just enjoy this now. Be here now. And let all the rest go. For good now.

From now on, the 210th day, will just be another day. Its amazing. Evaporated here in the desert heat.

Song: Zach Bryan - Dark

Quote:

That’s  when  something  opened  like  a windowshade unexpectedly rattling up in a dark  room.  A  sudden  new  cast  of  light.  What  need  for  a  man  to  make  a  trip  to Lookingglass, Oregon, when he’s been seeing his own image across the length of the country? … My skewed vision was that of a man looking at himself by looking at what he looks at.  A  man watching himself:  that was  the simulacrum on the window in the Nevada desert.

Hadn’t I even made a travelling companion  of the  great  poet  of the  ego,  the  one who sings of himself,  who promises to ‘effuse  egotism  and  show  it  underlying  all’, who finds the earth in his own likeness? Money half gone, I’d come up with a bit of epistemological small change. ~ William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

"Whatever you have seen, maybe it is for the good of the people you have seen it" ~Black Elk

[waterforlorn]

day three. october 9th. 9:02am (it's crossed out a bunch of times)

we've been making slow progress with driving. i think nico doesn't like it, but he's too stubborn to tell me and thinks he's got to like .. do it for me cause he's the one taking me out on this ...trip or whatever. i don't mind slow progress, i always enjoyed long drives, i always felt free on the road - always moving with no end in sight. yeah, it's a pretty good feeling actually. i almost forgot how much i enjoyed it.

i'll ask him later if he wants me to drive for a while, but he said he has some place in mind for today, so i'm .. letting him. as for emotions and thoughts. doing pretty well. a little restless, i guess, but what else is new. it's been a bit rough, but i'm holding on. i think nico's helping even though he isn't doing anything specific. but with him i feel .. calmer. it almost feels like i can control the urge.

not forever, though. i can feel it scratching inside me, begging to be released. i'm not giving up, though. not for now, not for a while i hope. i know my resolve is gonna falter at some point, but i hope that by then we'll be away from people so i can't hurt anybody. actually.. right now would be okay. it's just us on this long-ass fucking road for miles. although... i dunno if letting go's gonna fix the issue, never really did that, did it?

i remember that little fuckwad carter in school thinking that his height gave him the right to push other kids around. other kids being me. the little boy who always sat alone and not ONCE got to unpack lunch in school cause my mom never fucking MADE any for me. she didn't even think about it, or what it meant for me in school. cause kids notice these things. a kid coming to school with bruises, no lunch and second-hand clothes? pfffht. fuck her. took me a few weeks to get vengeance on him, but ... yeah, i'd do it again. but the voice never quite shut up, not for long. he had to get stitches when i was done with him. he never dared fucking touching me again.

but the calm lasted for like what? a day? it wasn't even always me looking for trouble. it always found me regardless. kind of a little like now, only that i signed up for it this time. fuck, no idea why i'm thinking about all that shit, or writing it down even. nobody's business but mine.

guess i'm just tired of fighting it. i do miss the army. every. single. day. sure, camp's ... fine and i wouldn't do much different if i got a second chance, but army was simple. do or die. fucking sarge johnson saved my life, i wonder what happened to him. wonder if he ever looked for me to see if i stuck to his program. i did. i am. mostly. i try. i can't just drop a mission mid-way for meditation, or lunch - or training, but i AM trying my best. i don't think nico realizes how bad it's looking inside me. i'm not sure how to tell him.

i suppose part of me is still hoping i won't have to. i also don't want him to feel guilty. it wasn't HIS fault he triggered it. it's my fault for being unable to fucking control myself. which only shows in how i keep hoping one of the cars passing us stops - or for someone to stop us. cops. anybody. how badly i want one of them to challenge me so i can let go. fuck. i've been fine for so long. why the fuck am i so restless lately? nico helps, but i can't rely on him for every minute of the damn day.

ugh anyway. emotions, thoughts. blah.

emotions... i'm annoyed at myself. thoughts? we've left the interstate and nico said we're taking a detour. wonder what he's up to, but he won't say. we're gonna sleep in some motel in minnesota tonight. safe to say i'm curious. no doubt it's gonna be something sappy. but i'm kinda waiting for it.