#what is it about road trips that makes me so sappy?

[stiltsthegm]

GOTY 2024 #6 - American Truck Simulator

I played a LOT of Truck Simulator this year. Nearly 60 hours of it, in fact. There's one particular session that sticks out in my memories, though.

My girlfriend and I are hanging out in a Discord server, and I'm streaming Truck Simulator for her. It's not a formal date, we just need to vibe for a bit, and other members of the polycule drop in and out when they want to chill for a bit too. I'm currently doing deliveries in Texas, and I show her the map. She sees Brownsville--one of the places she grew up--and asks me if I could head over there.

I spent the next hour or so in that area, often just driving around, not to complete any type of objective. Just to explore. She'd ask me to go down a particular street and then see if she could recognize a familiar intersection. She told me stories of the places she'd visit in her free time. I traveled all the way down to Boca Chica Beach, the southernmost point that Truck Simulator allows you to actually visit, and she talked about all the times she went to that beach with her family, before Elon put a goddamn launch pad on top of it. That part is, unfortunately, simulated in the game, too. One of the few times I wished Truck Simulator wasn't quite as dedicated to verisimilitude.

That's what makes this game special to me, though. It's not exactly real life, but it's close enough to cause our brains to shake off some dust and pull some memories out of the attic. I make a delivery from Phoenix to Flagstaff and remember the times I've done that same drive: first, with my family, to visit the Grand Canyon together; next, on my own, to explore Flagstaff itself and the surrounding parks; and finally, with my sedan loaded up with as many personal belongings as I could stuff in it, moving all of it to Minnesota over the course of 4 long days.

So much of our lives are tied to these dense grids and spindly, endless highways. A space so vast it can often be isolating. I type my house and my girlfriend's into Google Maps and note the distance: 17 hours and change, it tells me. In Truck Simulator's condensed simulacra, that would maybe take a couple hours; though it's hard to say for sure, since they haven't added Minnesota yet.

I wish it was that easy. I wish we could all visit each other when we really needed it, or whenever we had the whim to. More than even spaceships, laser swords, wizards or dragons, that's the part of video game escapism I wish most to be real: the contraction of space, everything you love just a short trip away.

[kookooluvr]

Teach Me How To Love - Part 5

pairing: professor!jungkook x (fem) professor!reader, fwb to lovers

genre: fluff, angst, smut, fwb au, economicsprofessor!jungkook, politicalscienceprofessor!reader, slow burn, some emotional constipation, some sappy moments, lots of sexy moments.

summary: jeon jungkook, a fellow professor at yonsei university, is your friend, co-worker, and secret bed buddy. you have rules set in place to make sure there are no misunderstandings in your little arrangement. the #1 rule is as clear as day; no catching feelings. simple, right? wrong. let's see how un-simple it gets when a certain economics professor falls for an emotionally unavailable political science professor.

rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

word count: 16k

warnings: the gang all head off to jeju, jk and oc have a little moment on the plane, jk's secret playlist for oc, jk and oc share a room thanks to tae, he gets hard from a few smoochies, oc finds out what jk said about her back when they met, some jealousy, she takes a step back before taking a step forward, some wholesome vibes, lots of yearning, cuddles, oc has a few realisations, volleyball on the beach, HANA AGAIN (she's a warning all on her own), very minor ankle injury, mentions of oc's past heartbreak, some angst + fluff on the beach, explicit sexual content; making out, shower sex, fingering (f. receiving), handjob (m. receiving), oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex (oc's on the pill you know the drill), a brief description of fluffy morning sex, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), sleepy missionary sex, overall fluffy ending.

author's note: i just want to thank you all for all the love and support this story has gotten so far, i love and appreciate you all so so much !!! i really hope you enjoy part 5 (this is a lengthy one ladies and gentlemen so be prepared) and please don't be shy to share your thoughts because i love hearing them okay bye 🫶🏼🫶🏼

taglist: @rpwprpwprpwprw @livinluvl @chxiosworld @mimi1097 @bumblebee-21s-blog @koosluvss @sou-17 @svnbangtansworld @junecat18 @shrek-the-destroyer @tastykookoonut @sturniolowrld @palomanazareth @chimmisbae @daskewl @ramyun-h @heyitsroshni @matryoshka-poetry @almatiarau @ambiee3 @gukkie7

find tmhtl masterlist here

Today is just not your day. No, there wasn't an earthquake or a massive flood (it's far less dramatic than that) but more so minor inconveniences continuously piling up. For starters, Miso threw up on your bed, which was a fantastic start to the morning. You checked to make sure it wasn't anything serious, but it turns out she just had a hairball. Typical. Then there was an accident on the road around 10am, so you were stuck in traffic while taking Miso over to Jihyo's place where she'll be staying for the next few days. On top of that, you can't find your phone charger or your headphones and Jungkook is currently on his way to your apartment to pick you up to go to the airport, giving you very little time to get your shit together.

Mai and Namjoon and the rest of Jungkook's friends are all at the airport already, waiting for the flight which is set to leave at 2pm to take you all from Seoul to Jeju. Mai has been texting you nonstop to confirm that you're still going, and at one point you weren't sure if you should follow through, but you just couldn't disappoint her. The two of you are already becoming fast friends, and she seems pretty excited to have you come along with all of them. What's the harm in joining Jungkook and his friends on a three-day trip?

You're frantically checking to make sure you haven't forgotten to pack anything important, when your phone buzzes, signalling a text from Jungkook letting you know he's on his way up to your apartment. Well...fuck it. If you forgot anything, it's too late to stress about it now.

You scurry to make sure you have all your skincare products and toiletries before quickly zipping up your luggage. Minutes later there's a knock on your door, so you roll your suitcase to the living room and open the front door, feeling your stomach flip at the sight of him. He ditched his usual button-up shirt and slacks for a casual golfer and jeans, the denim hugging his thighs just right, the shirt's short sleeves showing off his thick biceps. His hair is styled a little messily, paired with his favourite black sunglasses. He looks like the lead role out of a rom-com, and that's not just because you're ovulating. Damn, maybe today is your day after all.

"Hey," he smiles, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head to push back his hair. "You all set?"

"Yeah, let me just get my suitcase-"

"Lemme get that for you."

You reach for the handle of your suitcase, but he stops you and quickly gets it before you do. You have no problem carrying your own bags or rolling around a heavy suitcase, but Jungkook wouldn't be Jungkook if he wasn't a true gentleman, so you let him do it because you know he's just going to insist anyway.

"Oh, uhm, thanks," you murmur, watching his arm flex as he carries your suitcase out the apartment, giving you a chance to lock the door.

"It's no problem," he shrugs, flashing you a smile. The two of you walk to the elevators, going downstairs to his car in the parking lot. He unlocks the car and puts your suitcase next to his in the trunk, opening your door for you before making his way over to the driver's seat, the engine roaring to life.

The drive to the airport is a short one, but you use your time wisely, stealing little glances while he's not looking, taking in the way his muscles flex under his skin, the way his hair blows in the light breeze of the air conditioner, the way his skin glows under the summer sun. He's a gorgeous man, and you could stare at him for hours, but you mentally remind yourself to look away every time your thoughts get a little too carried away or the butterflies in your stomach flap their wings just a little too hard. He's not your boyfriend, and a three-day trip with him and his friends won't change that, even if your brain and your heart have been having a few disagreements about that lately.

"So...you ready for Jeju?" He asks, snapping you out of your daze.

"Yeah, the weather should be nice," you murmur, looking out the window as the other cars pass by.

"I hope you didn't feel obligated to come, y'know. I know Mai can be a bit pushy at times but she means well," he mutters, keeping his eyes straight ahead of him as he drives.

"No, no, I'm happy to come," you murmur. "I mean...I was pretty drunk when she initially invited me, so obviously I wasn't going to say no, but it's a free vacation. What type of person would I be to complain about that?"

You had insisted on paying for your own plane ticket to Jeju, but Mai just wasn't having any of that. She graciously offered to pay for your ticket because she invited you a bit last minute. You could have managed, but as Jungkook says, Mai can be a bit pushy. Not that you mind, you've actually started growing quite fond of her since you met that night at the club.

He glances over at you for a moment, then reluctantly looks away. He wishes he wasn't driving so that he could just keep staring. A few moments pass in comfortable silence before he speaks, his voice soft and contemplative. "I really am glad you decided to join."

You look over at him, a faint smile gracing your face. "Why? Because otherwise you'd have to use your hand instead of me?"

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "No," he mutters, trying to sound annoyed but failing as a hint of amusement creeps onto his face. "Because I really enjoy your company, ___."

You try to remind yourself why you set so many rules and boundaries between the two of you, but you can barely hear your brain over the loud chattering of your heart. "Yeah...me too," you murmur softly, looking back out the window for the rest of the drive. This trip is surely going to be a test of your self-restraint, that's for sure.

At the airport, the two of you meet the rest of his friends, getting a tight hug from an excited Mai, hearing Namjoon chuckle at his fiancée's enthusiasm.

"Mai, c'mon, you're suffocating her," Jungkook jokes, greeting the rest of his friends with a pat on their back. Everyone is excited to get to Jeju, a few of them already talking about going down to the beach once they land. It'll be a nice get-away from the concrete jungle that is Seoul.

"Oh, I'm sorry, ___," she chuckles, pulling away to go and stand next to Namjoon, looking like a puppy being taken on a walk. "I'm just so happy we're all together."

"It's okay," you murmur with a smile. "Thank you again for inviting me, Mai."

"Of course! You're Jungkook's friend, so you're our friend now too."

Her words bring a strange, warm feeling to your chest. You've only ever had a handful of friends in your life, Jihyo being your right-hand woman. You're so used to keeping people at arm's length, so to have his friends be so willing to accept you into their friend group is new, and just slightly intimidating.

Everyone hangs out in the waiting area until it's time for the flight. Jisoo and Seokjin have a little argument about whether he turned the stove off before they left the house, Namjoon and Mai discuss everything they want the group to do in Jeju, while Hoseok, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin are already thinking about what's for dinner tonight.

Much to Jungkook's dismay, Hana is here as well, so he quickly goes to sit with you before she can start up a conversation with him. She watches the way he not so subtly flirts with you, the way you try to act indifferent, despite the occasional chuckle you let out at one of his dumb jokes. It makes her blood boil.

Hana's not an idiot. She knows something is going on between the two of you, but she also knows that Jungkook would be showing you off if you were his girlfriend. She can't figure out exactly what it is you two have going on, but she doesn't like it. On the plane, she finds it annoying that he insists on putting your suitcase up in the overhead compartment for you, and she mentally rolls her eyes when he sits next to you, leaving her to sit next to Hoseok and Yoongi.

Jungkook on the other hand is quite happy to be seated next to you, after subtly shoving Taehyung out of that seat, leaving his friend to sit in the next row. Not that Taehyung minds, he'll anyway just end up texting a certain friend of yours throughout the flight, which he spent all of last night doing as well.

"I made this new playlist on Spotify," Jungkook quips as he gets his phone out, putting one of his earphones in before holding the other one out for you. "Wanna hear?"

You move closer and place the earphone in your ear with a smile, looking down at his phone to see the title ___'s playlist on the screen. That was definitely not meant for your eyes. At least not yet.

"Hey, what's that?" you ask, but he quickly scrolls past it before you can get a proper look at it.

"Hm? Oh no, that's nothing. Here it is," he mutters quickly, his movements a bit panicked as he clicks on a playlist called Jeju Summer. You'll have to ask him about that other playlist another time. He hits play and the first song is by Beabadoobee, causing your eyebrows to raise in surprise.

"I didn't know you listened to Beabadoobee," you chuckle.

"What, are you making fun of me?" he asks with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow.

"No, of course not. I love her, I just wouldn't have pegged you to listen to this sorta music, that's all."

"Well...maybe you have a few more things to learn about me, Professor," he teases, looking over at you with a soft smile, the catchy melody playing through his earphones.

The songs play one by one, some a bit slower than others, causing your eyes to slowly fall closed, your head lowering to rest on his shoulder. The weight of your head on his shoulder brings a smile to his face, his head resting against yours for the remainder of the flight. He scrolls back to the playlist he made for you and hits play, letting out a soft sigh as 'The Only Exception' by Paramore starts to play. The playlist isn't finished yet, but he hopes to gain the courage to show it to you some day.

Hana watches the exchange from her seat, mentally cursing you. She has no claim over Jungkook, but that doesn't make it sting any less, and if her eyes were daggers, you'd be dead by now. She has to force herself to look away from the two of you, her face growing hot with jealousy. She can't quite remember why she even wanted to come on this trip in the first place.

Once the group arrives in Jeju, everyone splits into separate groups to go over to Mai's family's beach house. Seokjin, Jisoo, Namjoon and Mai share a car, while Yoongi, Hoseok, Hana and Jimin all drive together, leaving you, Jungkook and Taehyung to drive together in the third car.

Jungkook packs everyone's luggage in the trunk of the rental car and gets the engine running. You sit in the passenger seat, leaving Taehyung to sit on the back seat. It's a beautiful day in Jeju, the waves crashing as you all drive down the scenic route. Jungkook occasionally steals glances at you while he drives, causing Taehyung to stifle a big grin. He can't tell if you're oblivious to his friend's obvious affection toward you, or if you're just choosing to ignore it. Either way, it's quite amusing for him to witness first hand.

"I wonder how many rooms there are at this house," Taehyung mumbles, looking out at the view. "I'm sure a few people will have to share, huh?"

"Well, obviously each couple will share a room," Jungkook murmurs.

"Right...Joon and Mai, Jin and Jisoo, you and-"

"Wow! Look at that view!" Jungkook interjects before he can go any further, shooting his friend a narrow-eyed look in the rear-view mirror, Taehyung pretending to seal his lips. The rest of the drive is filled with the soft sounds of the radio playing, paired with the sounds and smell of the ocean outside.

It's a thirty-minute drive before you all get to the beach house. Jungkook pulls up into the driveway and gets out, going around to open your door for you. Once you get out the car, your eyes widen in awe of the stunning house. It's a big two-story home with six bedrooms, large windows and the beach right at its feet. Some of the others are already there, Jisoo and Mai already setting up and unpacking the groceries in the kitchen.

You, Jungkook and Taehyung get your luggage from the trunk and make your way inside. Mai makes sure to give you a little tour of the house while the others chat in the kitchen, showing you around the bottom and top floor to make sure you know where everything is. Once everyone has arrived at the house, the group gathers in the living room, getting comfortable to decide who's taking what room.

"We hope you all don't mind but Mai and I will be taking the master bedroom," Namjoon grins, already heading upstairs to take their luggage to their room, the one with a king-sized bed and a gorgeous view of the beach, leaving everyone else to decide on their rooms. Seokjin and Jisoo get the second biggest bedroom, the one upstairs with a queen-sized bed and a big tub in the en-suite. Hoseok suggests him and Yoongi share one of the bedrooms with two single beds, and he accepts, mainly because he could care less where he sleeps.

As everyone begins to pair off for the remainder of the rooms, the reality of the situation slowly starts to sink in. There are five people left, and only three more rooms.

"Jimin and I will share a room," Taehyung calls out, shooting Jungkook a look, subtly gesturing over to you with his eyes. He knows his friend wants to share a room with you, better yet, he knows his friend does not want to share a room with Hana.

"___, you're new to the group. You should get your own room," Mai suggests.

Dammit Mai.

Jungkook looks over at you, swallowing thickly at the thought of having to share the last room with Hana, who happens to be visibly pleased.

"I think that's a great idea!" Hana quips with a sly grin. "Kookie and I can share, and his friend can have her own room. I mean, who doesn't want their own room, right, ___?"

"Oh, uhhh..." You don't quite know what to say. You glance over at Jungkook, his eyes boring a hole through you, practically begging you to decline. You're a guest in Mai's family's home, so you should probably just take what you get, even if the thought of Jungkook and Hana sleeping in a bed together makes your stomach turn.

"Hana, why don't you take the single room instead?" Taehyung blurts out with a sickeningly sweet smile, causing Hana to whip her head in his direction. "___ is Jungkook's friend so I think it would only make sense for them to share a room. You said it yourself; who doesn't want their own room...right?"

Hana's eyes dart between you and Jungkook, her jaw clenching. She had clearly hoped to get a room with Jungkook in hopes of getting closer to him, but with everyone's expectant eyes on her, Taehyung leaves her no choice. She forces a smile and pretends to be thrilled about having her own room for these next three days.

"Yeah, perfect," she mutters through gritted teeth.

Jungkook keeps his expression schooled, even as his heart bangs against his ribcage. The two of you will be sharing a room. He shoots Taehyung a grateful smile, silently thanking his friend for doing what he couldn't do. Internally, he's ecstatic, but externally he remains nonchalant. He knows you still have your boundaries and your rules and all that, so he leans over to whisper in your ear from his seat on the arm of the couch, making sure no one else can hear. "Are you okay with this?"

You turn your head to look up at him, your heart racing at the thought of sharing a room with him for three days. You're not sure if it's nerves or excitement, but you nod and give him a faint smile. Some rules are meant to be broken on vacation anyway.

He mirrors your smile, his eyes having a hard time looking away from your face. "It's fine with us," he announces, standing up to grab your luggage and take it to the room.

You follow him to your room and gently close the door behind you, your eyes trailing over the double bed you'll be sharing. The room itself is quite spacious with a big window, allowing the late afternoon sea breeze to travel inside. There is an en-suite bathroom and a waterfall shower, but all you can think about is that bed and what might happen in it in the nights to come.

You both start unpacking, the room slowly starting to feel like your own, your skincare products placed neatly on the bathroom counter, your clothing hanging in the shared closet. You hang up the last of your clothing while Jungkook goes to sit at the edge of the bed, watching you with a faint smile on his face.

"You sure you're okay with us sharing a room? Because I can sleep on the couch in the living room if you-"

"Don't be ridiculous," you chuckle, walking over to stand between his thighs, your hands on your hips. "I'm not letting you sleep on the couch on vacation. You'd probably just end up complaining about a crick in your neck and I don't wanna have that on my conscience."

He lets out a huff of laughter, shaking his head in amusement. "I guess you're right, yeah."

His laughter dies down, his face softening into a smile, his big brown eyes staring up at you, his hands reaching out to trail up your thighs, his thumbs rubbing slow circles over the fabric of your leggings. "Seriously though, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Jungkook, I'm okay."

"Can I get a kiss to prove it?" he whispers, staring up at you like he's been dying to ask since he picked you up from your apartment.

You let out a soft scoff and lean down to cup his face in your hands, leaning in to press a soft peck to his lips.

"Another one please," he whispers, his lips just millimetres from yours, his big brown eyes pleading as he stares up at you. You smile and close the gap, pressing another kiss to his lips, this one lasting slightly longer.

"One more."

"You're greedy."

"For you, yes."

You're about to respond, when there's a knock at the door, causing you to jolt up straight, backing away from him to avoid getting caught by any of his friends. "Come in!"

Jisoo peeks her head in, completely oblivious to the moment you had going on. "Hey, we're getting started on dinner, okay? It shouldn't be long."

"Thanks, Soo," Jungkook murmurs, standing up to subtly adjust his jeans, his back turned to her.

As soon as Jisoo leaves and the door closes, your eyes trail down to see Jungkook's situation, a little chuckle bubbling up your throat.

"Are you seriously hard from a few kisses?"

"Shut up, your kisses feel good, okay?" he mumbles, a faint pout on his lips.

You bite your lip to hold back the smile spreading across your face, his words sending a rush of pride through your chest. You glance over at the bathroom door before grabbing some underwear and a flowy dress from the closet to wear to dinner. "I'm gonna go take a shower before dinner, okay?"

"Yeah," he nods, his eyes growing wide as you turn around and press one last kiss to his lips before disappearing into the en-suite, the bathroom door shutting behind you.

Jungkook plops down onto the bed with his arms splayed out, a big grin spread across his face as he stares up at the ceiling. A few kisses and he's putty in your hands.

The smell of food fills your nose as you leave the room for dinner, the others coming in and out of the kitchen. Jisoo sets the table while Seokjin and Yoongi finish up on dinner, with the others hanging out in the living room. You want to make yourself useful in any way that you can, so you go to the kitchen to check if anyone needs any help.

"___, can you help me set the table?" Jisoo asks, handing you a few plates.

You get to work, placing a plate at each place setting while she adds the utensils and the glasses. She doesn't seem to talk much, which is quite the opposite of Mai, which is probably why they're best friends. They balance each other out. That seems to be the case for Jungkook's entire friend group. Each person has their person who seems to balance out their personality. Yoongi has Hoseok, Jisoo has Mai and Mai has Namjoon, and so on. This leaves you questioning who your person is. Maybe it's the man who can't seem to keep his big brown eyes off of you for more than a few seconds at a time as he attempts to stay focused on his conversation with Hoseok and Namjoon.

"You know," Jisoo murmurs, keeping her eyes down as she gently places the utensils next to each plate. "You must be really special for Jungkook to bring you around."

Her words puzzle you. "How so?"

She looks over at you, a soft smile spreading across her face. "You're the first woman Jungkook's ever introduced us to. Even if you are just his friend...you must be a very special friend."

You look down at the stack of plates in your hands, her words ringing through your head. "I suppose so..."

As if on cue, Jungkook walks into the dining room, slowly rounding the table to get to you, placing a gentle hand on your lower back. "Need any help?"

"I think we can manage," you murmur softly, looking up into his eyes.

Jisoo looks between the two of you with a knowing smile, leaving to get the salads from the kitchen. She knows that look, the way you look at him. It's the same look she used to give Seokjin in university, the look she still gives him even after three kids. She doesn't know you that well yet, but she has a sneaky suspicion she'll be seeing a lot more of you.

Everyone eventually sits down for dinner, Jungkook sitting on your left and Mai on your right. The atmosphere around the table is bubbly, everyone chatting and discussing their plans for the next two days in Jeju.

"We're so playing volleyball tomorrow," Hoseok announces. "Everyone in?"

"Soo and I will be sitting this one out," Seokjin murmurs with an apologetic smile.

"Boooo!" Jimin teases, rolling his eyes. "Hyung, c'mon!"

"Sorry, we're going for a walk," he shrugs.

"A walk?" Namjoon scoffs. "Is that code for sex?"

Seokjin lets out a hearty laugh, giving Namjoon an exasperated look. "You try having three kids. Cut us some slack!"

"Okay, so Jin and Jisoo are out," Hoseok says, rolling his eyes at the couple who don't seem to care, Jisoo placing a soft kiss on her husband's cheek.

"Me too," Yoongi murmurs, chewing on some of the samgyeopsal. "I wanna catch up on some reading."

Hoseok scoffs, muttering a teasing, "Get a load of Stephen Hawking over here".

"I'm in," Jimin calls out. "I still have to kick your ass for the last volleyball game."

"Yeah, me too. I can't believe we lost to Hobi," Taehyung sighs, shaking his head. "Kook?"

"I'm still deciding," Jungkook murmurs with a faint grin, taking a sip of his beer. His response is mostly just to tease Hoseok.

You look over at him, then over at Hoseok, who seems to be waiting for your verdict. "I'm in."

"See, I knew I liked you, ___," Hoseok smiles. "Kook, why didn't you bring her around sooner? I'm already starting to like her more than you."

Jungkook doesn't protest. He simply glances over at you with a soft smile on his face, watching as you talk to his friends. It feels so natural to have you here, like you're a puzzle piece that's been missing all this time. You just fit.

All throughout dinner, he finds little ways to maintain contact with you. He touches your thigh under the table, he rests his arm over the back of your chair, he lazily plays with the ends of your hair while you make conversation with Taehyung about work. It's his subtle way of showing his affection without outright saying what he feels.

After dinner, his friends decide to sit around the patio and roast some marshmallows on the fire that Seokjin lit. Hana chose to go to her room with the excuse of not feeling too well so that she doesn't have to tell the truth, which is that she would rather bang her head against a wall than sit and watch Jungkook make heart eyes at you for another second.

Everyone else gets cozy outside. The sun has already set, the moon and stars illuminating the seaside while the waves crash in the distance. You sit next to Jungkook on one of the patio loveseats, the fire crackling as he holds out a charred marshmallow on a skewer.

"Mai, is everything finalised for the wedding?" Jisoo asks, snuggling up to Seokjin under a thick blanket on one of the other loveseats.

"I have my final dress fitting next week and the venue is stunning! We can't wait for you guys to see it," Mai gushes, her eyes sparkling as she talks about her wedding. "We're really excited."

"Damn, the second couple in our friend group is getting married," Yoongi sighs. "We're getting old."

"Speak for yourself," Taehyung scoffs, playfully elbowing his friend.

"Weddings are always so exciting," Jisoo sighs blissfully. "I remember how happy I was at our wedding. I think that was honestly the happiest day of my life...and when the boys were born of course," she chuckles.

You stare down at the fire burning away, your eyes slightly glossy as you zone in on the low flames. Wedding-talk always gets you a bit choked up, but the last thing you want to do is take away from Mai and Namjoon's moment, so you blink away the moisture building in your eyes and swallow the lump in your throat.

Of course Jungkook notices. He can sense something is wrong by the way your shoulders tense up, the way your eyes remain fixed on the fire. He doesn't want to draw any attention to you, so he leans closer, keeping his voice down. "Hey, everything okay?" he whispers, gently snaking an arm around your waist.

You snap out of your daze to look at him, inhaling sharply, the cool evening breeze working fast to dry your eyes. "Mhm," you nod, looking out at the ocean in the distance. "I'm fine, just...a bit tired."

"You wanna head inside?"

"No, I'm fine."

He doesn't push. He takes your word for it, even though he knows you're anything but fine. He knows you won't tell him what's on your mind, so he lets it go and gently squeezes your waist through the fabric of your dress, a simple way of saying that he's here for you through whatever it is that seems to be bothering you.

"Hey, she was hot!" Jimin exclaims exasperatedly.

"She threatened to hit you with her car," Namjoon laughs.

The conversation seems to have taken a different turn while you and Jungkook got distracted, his friends reminiscing about their failed relationships. Namjoon and Mai's upcoming wedding has them all thinking about their own love lives, some a bit less significant than others.

"What can I say, I like my girls with a touch of psycho," Jimin laughs, earning an amused snort from Taehyung.

"Hey, remember that woman Kook told us about a few years ago who was apparently sooo gorgeous," Hoseok chuckles. "What ever happened to her, man?"

"Yeah, you never told us her name," Yoongi chimes in, giving Jungkook a puzzled look. "You went on and on about how smart and-"

Jungkook clears his throat loudly, subtly signaling for them to 'zip it', his eyes briefly flickering over to you before you even catch it. "She died," he deadpans, earning a loud laugh from Hoseok.

"You're so full of bullshit," he laughs, shaking his head. He would never laugh at something so tragic, but come on. It's so obvious Jungkook just wants this topic to end.

You glance over at him, seeing the way he looks down at the wooden patio floor, his cheeks flushed. You wonder who they're talking about and why you've never heard him talk about this "gorgeous" woman before. You don't want to ask him about it. You don't want to know. Or do you? You feel weird. It's like you're...jealous or something. You're not jealous, that's ridiculous. It's just curiosity. And possibly acid reflux. Well, good for her, whoever she is.

Jungkook lets out a silent sigh of relief when the guys don't question him any further, the topic changing to something else, something you don't really take notice of because you're still too busy wondering who this woman is, or was. Maybe another professor at work? Or maybe she was a neighbour, or even just someone in passing, like a cashier at the grocery store or a waitress at a restaurant.

You're so busy wondering who it could be, you don't even realize you're shivering until he mentions it. "Are you cold?"

"A little," you murmur, rubbing your arms, feeling the goosebumps that have risen.

"I'll go get you a blanket. I'll be right back."

You watch as he gets up and goes inside the house to get you a blanket, your eyes following behind him even when he's out of your line of sight. Mai notices and scoots closer.

"Are you thinking about what Hobi said? About the woman Jungkook wouldn't stop talking about?"

"What?" Your eyebrows raise in faux surprise. "No, why would I be thinking about that?"

Mai smiles, seeing right through your lie. "Okay, well...just so you know...if Hobi actually paid enough attention, he'd remember that Jungkook went on and on about the gorgeous political science professor he met at work...but you didn't hear that from me," she whispers, playfully zipping her lips.

Mai's words make you freeze in your spot, your lips parting, the lightbulb going off in your brain. You know he finds you attractive. Obviously, he's having sex with you, for God's sake. But hearing that he spoke to his friends about you all those years ago when you first met...it feels different. It has a different connotation. You don't speak about a friend like that, do you? Well, you're not just friends, but you're not his either. Being his is a concept you've noticed reoccurring in your head a lot lately, but one you have yet to acknowledge. It's scary to think about. Being his doesn't feel scary, but the thought of being vulnerable enough to lay yourself out there to be hurt is scary.

You're snapped back to reality when Jungkook returns and sits down next to you, gently draping a warm blanket around your shoulders, an even warmer smile on his face.

"Better?" he whispers.

"Better," you whisper.

That look on his face. It makes everything feel less scary. It makes your heart beat faster and your stomach feel all tingly. It's a look you've grown accustomed to. It's a feeling you've started growing accustomed to.

The evening slowly draws to a close and everyone starts saying their goodnights, going off to their rooms. Jungkook goes to your room and you're about to join him but you're stopped by Mai in the hallway.

"Hey," she whispers. "Please don't tell Jungkook I told you about the whole 'gorgeous professor' thing. He'd probably kill me."

You chuckle, storing the information in a locked safe in your brain. "I won't say anything."

"Okay. I just don't want him to think I'm meddling, y'know."

"There's nothing to meddle in, Mai. We're just-"

"Friends...right," she chuckles, nodding in understanding, even though her facial expression tells you she still doesn't believe you. She knows there's more to the story. The chemistry between you and Jungkook is too strong to be just friends.

"Don't give me that look."

"What look? There's no look," she laughs.

"There so is a look," you chuckle, shaking your head.

"I'm just saying...I'm not trying to pry, I just...l kinda have a feeling there's more going on. There's a whole vibe between you two."

"The 'vibe' is called friendship," you deadpan.

At this point you aren't sure if you're trying to convince Mai or yourself, but it's a habit at this point to deny any romantic connection between you and Jungkook. It saves you from answering a million questions.

"Okay, okay. If you say so, I believe you," she chuckles, holding her hands up in surrender. "I'll let you go before your 'friend' starts looking for you," she teases, biding you goodnight before going upstairs to join Namjoon in the master bedroom.

You make your way into your room and close the door behind you, finding Jungkook sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for you. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," he murmurs with a soft smile, holding his arms out as you make your way over to him, his hands sliding up to hold onto your waist, his eyes looking up at you. There isn't too much light in the room except for the bedside light and the moonlight streaming in through the large window.

"What were you and Mai talking about out there?"

"Girl stuff, I can't tell you," you tease, you lips curling into a grin.

Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "Oh, girl stuff, huh? So secret and exclusive," he murmurs with a mock pout.

"Yeah, it's confidential. Sorry," you chuckle, reaching out to gently run your fingers through his hair.

"Not even a hint? C'mon, baby..."

"My lips are sealed, Jeon."

Jungkook tilts his head back to look up at you properly, a hint of yearning in his gaze. He can barely focus on your words when you look so pretty standing before him. He can't wait to break in the bed with you, but he'll remain patient for now.

"Yeah?" he grins, biting his bottom lip. "Maybe I could get you to open them, hm?"

"Behave yourself," you whisper, your eyes slowly trailing down to his lips and back up. "Your friends are just down the hall."

"So? Let them hear us, I don't care."

You have to mentally remind yourself that you're not alone and that you don't want his friends hearing the things the two of you get up to behind closed doors. You muster up your strength to pull away from him, feeling like a magnet resisting his pull.

"You're crazy. I'm gonna go get ready for bed." You go to get your pyjamas from the closet and make your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

Jungkook waits for you while you change, chewing on his bottom lip as he stares at the bathroom door. He slowly removes his shirt and his shoes, leaning back on his hands. He looks up as you emerge from the bathroom, standing in the open doorframe, your face glowing from the serum you used, your toothbrush in your mouth. He sees the way your eyes trail down his bare chest, the way your pupils dilate ever so subtly.

"You look cute," he murmurs with a lazy grin, his head tilted to the side as he watches you from the bed.

"Don't I always?" you tease, spitting the toothpaste foam into the sink before rinsing your mouth and walking out of the bathroom.

"Yes, but...I like you like this, in your cute pyjamas, your hair up, bare-faced," he murmurs, getting up from the bed to make his way over to you. He stands behind you at the sink, his hands trailing around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder.

"You gonna let me take these cute pyjamas off you?" he whispers. "I'll do that thing you like with my tongue."

His words go straight to your core, a faint blush spreading across your cheeks. You turn around to face him, your hands resting upon his bare chest as you look up into his eyes.

"What do you say? You wanna break in the bed?"

You look up into his eyes, your heart telling you to give in and let him do whatever he wants with you, your brain telling you that the walls are thin, that it's risky. Taehyung and Jimin's room is right next door, and if you can hear their muffled conversation, they'll be able to hear all the things Jungkook so badly wants to do to you.

"Maybe we should...wait...until we get back home..."

His brows furrow in confusion. That's not what he was expecting.

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Your friends could hear us."

"___, I meant what I said. I don't care if they hear us."

"But I care," you whisper, gently cupping his cheeks in your hands. "I just...I don't think we should risk it."

He sighs, but he understands why you're hesitant. He already let it slip to Taehyung that you're hooking up, breaking his promise of keeping it between the two of you. He doesn't want the rest of his friends finding out, especially not by hearing the two of you have sex. It would just bring about a million questions that he himself does not have the answers to.

"Okay. I understand," he sighs, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "I'll just take a quick shower and get ready for bed."

He closes the bathroom door once you leave, but he doesn't lock it. A part of him wants you to walk back in and tell him that you changed your mind. He wants you to stop worrying so much and just let him love you the way he wants to. When he stands under the hot stream of water and lathers himself in his body wash, he wishes you were in there with him, letting him lather your body as well. He wishes you'd allow yourself to be taken care of. Sure he takes care of your sexual needs, but who runs you a nice warm bath after you've had a stressful day at work? Who makes you soup when you're sick or holds you in the middle of the night when you're having a bad dream? He could be that person for you if you'd just let him.

He wants to say 'fuck it' and change your mind, convince you to just let loose of the reins for a bit, but when he opens the bathroom door and finds you laying on your back in bed, with tired eyes and a soft smile on your face, all he really wants is to just lay by your side. He doesn't need the sex. A simple touch of your hand on his cheek is enough for him if it means he gets to be close to you.

He gets in bed, propping his head up on his hand, his eyes looking down at you. His hand snakes around to the side of your waist, keeping his grip gentle. "Those eyes look heavy. I thought people are supposed to stay up late on vacation."

"Yeah, when you're twenty-one. I'm not twenty-one anymore," you mumble through a soft chuckle, your sleepy eyes gazing up at him.

"Right, I forgot you're sixty-three with a hip replacement."

You let out a huff of laughter, the sound bringing a wide grin to his face. As your laughter dies down, you notice the way he looks at you, as if he's hypnotised by you.

"What?"

Jungkook's lips curl into a little smile when he realises he's been caught staring. "What?" he echoes, playing coy. "Can't I just admire a good-looking view?" he quips, his tone light and playful.

"I suppose I can't blame you," you murmur, your grin turning a bit more playful. "I'd stare too if I were you."

"Oh, you're so modest, aren't you?" He scoffs.

You chuckle, your eyes fluttering closed, and Jungkook's heart swells in his chest. Your smile is so soft, so genuine, it's infectious. He can't tear his eyes away from you, the way your lashes lay gently against your cheeks, the way your lips curve up at the edges. He reaches out without thinking, gently brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face, his touch light and tentative.

"___," he whispers.

"Yeah?"

There's a moment of utter silence before he speaks, his voice soft and delicate.

"You're an incredibly beautiful woman."

Suddenly, words are lost on you. You can't seem to find a response that would appropriately correlate with the way his words make you feel, so you show him instead. You lean in and press a gentle, tender kiss to his lips, your hand reaching up to cup the side of his jaw. It's slow and soft, and it steals his breath for a second. When you pull away, his eyes look slightly dreamy and his smile looks a bit dazed.

"Can we make that a regular thing?"

"What?"

"I mean...can we forget about the whole no kissing outside of sex thing? I just wanna kiss you...whenever it feels right..."

You pause, contemplating his words. You can't lie and say that you don't want that, because lord knows you do.

"We'll see," you whisper, smiling as you lean in for another kiss, and then another.

He knows what that smile means. It means you want it too, you're just too damn stubborn to outright admit it, as if him kissing you is so scandalous. He doesn't care, your unclear answer doesn't upset him. The way your lips can't seem to stray from his for longer than a few seconds tells him everything he needs to know.

"We'll see, huh?" He smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, rolling onto his back with your body halfway on top of him. He enjoys the simple intimacy of just having your head on his chest, his fingers languidly running through your hair.

"Yeah, we'll see," you whisper, laying your head down on his chest, where it remains for the rest of the night.

You're very cautious about cuddling. You don't cuddle after sex, and don't usually cuddle outside of sex either. Your heart is far too weak for that and you know that one good cuddle from the right man will have you throwing all your rules out the window, so when you wake up and that man isn't cuddling you like you had secretly hoped he would, you're met with disappointment.

You slowly open your eyes, blinking in the bright morning light that streams through the large window, the sea air drifting through your nose. As you come to, you notice that the other side of the bed is empty. Your thoughts linger on the person who is supposed to be on the other side of the bed, and you find yourself missing him, yearning to see his face, his fluffy hair, his pretty eyes. You slowly push yourself up into a sitting position, contemplating getting out of bed to find him.

Just as you're about to get up, however, the door to the bedroom opens and Jungkook walks in, carrying two mugs of coffee. As soon as his eyes land on you in bed, his face lights up with a smile.

"You're awake," he murmurs, his voice still a little groggy from sleep. He walks over to the bed and hands you one of the mugs.

"You went to get me coffee?" You still feel a bit groggy as you look down at the mug in your hand, smelling the delicious aroma.

"Of course," he smiles, sliding onto the edge of the bed beside you. "I figured you might need some caffeine to fully wake up."

Jungkook watches as you take a tentative sip of the coffee, enjoying the feeling of seeing you this early in the morning, still so sleepy, your hair a little messy, your lips slightly swollen, your cheeks flushed. He cherishes these moments, seeing you so vulnerable and unguarded in the morning. It's a side of you that he rarely gets to see, and he'll never take it for granted.

"Once you finish that, you have to get up because we're heading down to the beach around 9:30-ish."

"Damn...Hoseok really takes his volleyball seriously, huh?"

"He does," he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "I'm gonna go get ready while you have your coffee."

He rounds the bed to get to his suitcase, pulling out his swimming shorts before making his way to the bathroom to change, giving you a moment to yourself.

You find yourself missing his presence as soon as the bathroom door closes, which is odd. You're not a clingy person. You like your space. You don't like spending every minute of every day with someone. Yet, here you are, impatiently waiting for his return after a simple trip to the bathroom to change. Maybe it's because you know that when he walks out of that bathroom, he'll be wearing half the amount of clothing he wore going in, or maybe your impatience is your body going through withdrawals after asking him to withold sex until you get home, which you think you're starting to regret.

You don't know what's going on with you lately. First, last night's jealousy at the thought of Jungkook finding another woman attractive (and the immediate relief when said woman turned out to be you), then the cuddling in bed, and then the disappointment of not waking up in his arms this morning.

It's not long before the bathroom door opens and he walks out in all his glory, his torso bare and toned, his shorts adorning his hips. A fresh cup of coffee and a nice view of a very attractive, half-naked man all within twenty minutes of waking up is surely a good way to start the day.

His presence alone is confirmation that you definitely regret asking him to withhold sex until you get home. It's confirmation that you were jealous last night, and that you were disappointed when he wasn't in bed with you when you woke up this morning.

"Actually, uh..." He stops in his tracks, his attention back on you. "You guys go and I'll meet you at the beach in a little bit."

"Are you sure?" He tilts his head in confusion.

"Yeah, you go, I'll be down in a bit."

He's hesitant to leave, having planned on going together, but he assumes you just want to catch up on a few more minutes of rest. "Okay...I'll see you down there," he murmurs with a smile before making his way out to join the others.

You set your coffee down on the nightstand and plop back down on the bed, your eyes staring up at the ceiling. You have so much going on in your head and your heart, and the two won't stop butting heads. You know this feeling. You know what love feels like. You've been there before, and you didn't like how it ended, which is exactly why you locked the big padlock on your heart and threw away the key. Yet, when you close your eyes and Jungkook's face pops up in your head, and his voice rings through your ears, a soft smile works its way onto your face.

When you're with him, you just want to kiss his cheek and listen to him ramble on and on about international trade and supply and demand. You want to suck his dick, then hold his hand and tell him how smart, and kind, and pretty he is. Oh how pretty he is. You want to partake in all of his nerdy interests with him and ask him questions about it just to see him get excited.

You threw that damn key away and you thought you'd never need it again, but somehow, Jungkook must have stumbled upon it and picked it up because it seems to be in his possession.

You can't stay here and let your thoughts run wild any longer. You have to get out of this room and get down to that beach.

It's still quite early yet the sun is already scorching, the sand warm and toasty beneath your feet. The smell of salty air and sunscreen fills your senses, a perfect combination for a summer day. You spot Mai in her cute bikini, tanning on the sand, so you make your way over to her while some of the others set up a volleyball net, Hoseok and Namjoon's excited chattering echoing in the distance.

"Wooow, hot mama," Mai hoots, her chin resting in her palm while she tans her back, her sunglasses pushed up to the top of her head. The 'hotness' she's referring to might be the red bikini adorning your body, the red bikini you picked out with Jungkook's reaction in mind...but who knows for sure?

"Speak for yourself," you chuckle, laying down beside her, the sun beating down on your back. "I bet Namjoon loves that bikini, huh?"

"Honey, he'll be taking this bikini off of me later," she cackles, shooting a flirty wave over to her fiancé in the distance.

Namjoon's eyes aren't the only ones occupied. Jungkook can't help but stare, his eyes hungrily raking over your form. He's supposed to be partaking in a conversation with Taehyung and Jimin, but he's so distracted, his thoughts consumed by the sight of you in that bikini, his gaze firmly planted to your smooth skin, the roundness of your ass, those legs. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet and the lack of sex is already proving to be rather difficult.

"What're you guys talking about?" There's that damn nagging voice, Hana joining their conversation, the conversation Jungkook couldn't care less about right now.

"Jimin and I were talking about what we'd do if we were the only people left on earth," Taehyung quips. "And Jungkook appears to no longer be with us."

Jungkook lets out a scoff, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes still glued to you while you converse with Mai in the distance.

Hana follows his line of sight and subtly rolls her eyes, letting out a soft sigh of frustration. "Kookie, what would you do if you and I were the only people left on earth?"

"Probably buy a gun," he mutters under his breath before walking off in your direction, leaving behind two highly amused friends and an offended Hana.

He makes his way over, sitting down next to you without a word, both of your faces turning into a grin at the mere proximity. "Hey ladies," he murmurs, getting comfortable while a few of the guys play a practice round of volleyball.

"Kook," Mai nods in acknowledgement, her eyes shifting to the water ahead. "I was just saying how hot your friend is."

"Mm, she's okay, I guess," he shrugs with a teasing grin, leaning back on his hands.

"I'm right here you know," you scoff.

"Trust me, I see you."

You're lucky Mai's eyes are on the water a few feet away, because if she were to turn her head and look at Jungkook, she'd see his hand trailing up your thigh, giving your asscheek a quick squeeze before you silently swat it away, a bashful smile on your face. You turn your head to him to mouth a silent 'stop' but he simply shoots you a mischievous wink.

That face paired with that wink gets you, and you might have let him continue if Hoseok hadn't called everyone to start the game of volleyball.

Everyone gathers and divides into two teams on opposite sides of the net, the air already filled with playful bickering and competitive banter. Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and you are on one side, while Namjoon, Mai, Hoseok and Hana are on the other.

The game begins and the competitive spirit sparks, everyone focused on their team winning. When you agreed to play, you didn't expect the game to be so intense, full of spikes, blocks and a few dives. You especially didn't expect to bond this well with his friends, the group making you feel like you've known them for years. You share high-fives and amusing words with his friends every time something exciting happens, feeling the synergy in the air.

Jungkook watches you as you run across the sand to get to the ball, admiring your agility. You certainly make a good team, sharing a bit of a competitive streak. The two of you work together to score against the other team in a tough back and forth, your excitement too much to contain when Namjoon fumbles the ball on their side of the net.

The point given to your team is shoved to the back of your mind when Jungkook rushes over to wrap his arms around your waist, spinning you off your feet. The adrenaline mixed with the contact of his skin on yours sends a dizzying, electrifying feeling through your body. The two of you laugh and cheer while Taehyung and Jimin shout taunts at the other team, the others playfully 'boo'ing and rolling their eyes.

Hana feels her face heat up in a simmering rage of jealousy and frustration, her eyes narrowing as she watches the two of you, the flirty undertones, his winks every time you score, the bashful smiles all starting to grate at her.

"Not fair, ___'s good! I want her on our team," Hana calls out, clearly up to something.

"But-" Jimin is about to protest but she's already made up her mind.

"___, why don't you swap with Hobi for the rest of the game."

"Wha- hey! I thought I was good," Hoseok laughs.

Hana's tone is just a little too sweet. You can feel the shift in her demeanour, and you know it's not just about the game anymore. You glance over at Jungkook, seeing the crease between his eyebrows, the tension in his jaw. It's clear that he is not happy.

"No way, ___'s our star player," Taehyung calls out, playfully nudging your arm, oblivious to the underlying tension.

Hana doesn't back down, her smile turning sly. "Oh whatever, don't be so greedy," she chides, her voice sickly sweet. "Come on, ___."

You don't want to reject her in front of everyone, so you offer her a weak smile, feeling put on the spot. "Sure," you mutter, reluctantly swapping places with Hoseok. You shoot Jungkook a confused look, his expression mirroring yours.

The game starts back up, but Jungkook is still suspicious of her intentions. He knows what she's like, and he can practically see the gears turning in her head.

The game goes on, everyone playing as normal, the vibes more or less okay, until they aren't. Jimin hits the ball in your direction and you run a few quick steps to reach it, when suddenly there's a foot blocking your way, sending you tumbling to the ground, your body landing in the sand, your ankle taking a bit of a beating.

"Oh shit, ___, I'm sorry," Hana gasps, the emotion in her voice not reaching her face. Everyone looks concerned, worried looks crossing their faces.

Jungkook reacts within seconds, sprinting over to you as soon as you hit the sand, his heart racing in his chest, his eyes wide with worry. He crouches down to check on you, his hands gentle as he inspects you for any injuries. "Are you okay? Does anything hurt?"

You look up at his face, seeing the genuine worry in his eyes. "My ankle hurts a bit but-"

Before you can get your sentence out, he's already checking your ankle, looking like a first aider who desperately wants a raise.

"It's fine, really, it's nothing to worry about."

He looks into your eyes, his movements coming to a halt, his chest rising and falling from rushing over to you. He doesn't care that his friends are watching, he doesn't care that his feelings are as clear as day. All he cares about right now is you and your ankle.

"You're sure?"

You nod, slowly getting up. You take a step, but your ankle is tender, causing you to hiss and stumble. Jungkook reaches out to steady you, his hands holding onto your waist, his grip firm.

"___, I think you should rest your ankle, honey," Mai murmurs with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, maybe put some ice on it," Namjoon nods, looking concerned.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Hana pipes up, a faint, apologetic smile on her face. The apology is almost as fake as her nose.

Jungkook's eyes narrow when he looks over at her, his anger showing clearly on his face. A muscle in his jaw twitches as he bites back a response. As much as he wants to lash out at her for purposefully hurting you, he holds his tongue, not giving her the attention she wants.

"I'm gonna go take her back to the house to get some ice on her ankle," he says, his tone brokering no argument. "You all can continue playing." The rest of the group nods in agreement, their faces filled with sympathy and concern. Hana stays silent.

Your injury really isn't that serious for you to not be able to walk, just causing a little limp, but when Jungkook decides you need to be carried bridal style, you don't protest. You actually have to hold back a giggle when his arm muscles flex as he carries you, quickly composing yourself.

He cradles you against his chest as he takes you back to the house, his grip on you firm but gentle. Once you reach the house, he sets you down on the couch, propping up your ankle with a pillow. He disappears into the kitchen, returning moments later with an ice pack, which he gently applies to your ankle. He takes a seat on the edge of the couch, his eyes fixed on your face, studying your expression for any signs of pain or discomfort.

He notices the small hiss that escapes your lips, his gaze softening as he looks at you, his hand resting on the ice pack, keeping it in place. "Does it hurt?"

"It's just really cold," you chuckle, looking down at the ice pack.

"Cold is better than pain, right?"

"Yeah, cold is better than pain," you smile.

You feel him remove the ice pack, watching him inspect your ankle with so much care, so much tenderness. Seeing him run over as soon as you got hurt, having him take care of you like this...it's a glimpse of the care you haven't allowed yourself to indulge in for a long time.

"Thank you," you whisper as you look up into his eyes, your body language a bit more vulnerable.

His gaze is soft, his expression filled with a tenderness that matches his touch. "Of course."

There's a moment, just a brief one, where time seems to still, his eyes holding yours, the space between you feeling almost electrified with a quiet intimacy.

"You got over there pretty fast," you murmur softly.

"Of course, I was worried about you."

He leans in, his face inching closer to yours, his fingers gently brushing some of your hair out of your face before he cups your cheek in his palm. "I don't ever want to see you hurt...no matter how minor..."

"I'm okay," you whisper, a faint smile on your lips, your nose just barely brushing against his.

"How's the pain?"

"What pain?"

He rolls his eyes, a small huff of amusement leaving his lips. "I'm serious," he whispers, a hint of a smile on his face, his thumb stroking your cheek. "You're sure it's okay?"

"I'm sure." You voice is soft, and the kiss he presses to your lips is even softer, your mouths moving in sync. Your lips might not be able to say everything you're feeling, but the kiss sure does. It's a silent confession that he cares for you and you care for him, more deeply than either of you can put into words.

He pulls back ever so slightly, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes still closed after that kiss, but the sound of the guys returning from the beach is like a cold shower, both of you suddenly pulled back into reality, the moment between you interrupted.

He holds the ice pack firmly against your ankle but his eyes are on your face, trying to read your expression, trying to find even a hint of what you're thinking or feeling. His heart is racing, but he forces himself to appear calm, to mask the flurry of emotions he's going through.

The guys burst through the door, their voices loud and full of laughter, a stark contrast to the quiet and charged atmosphere between you and Jungkook. They're blissfully oblivious to what they've interrupted, their brains still on the beach. They all make sure to check if you're okay, the attention thankfully on your ankle and not on Jungkook's and your flushed cheeks and flustered faces.

It's around 7pm when you find yourself on the patio, curled up on one of the loveseats, listening to Mai and Jisoo discuss wedding preparations. The sun is halfway set along the horizon, casting pretty pink and orange hues across the sky.

Some of the others have already retired to their rooms, probably knocked out after eating the mountain of dumplings Yoongi made for dinner. You had contemplated speaking to Hana about what happened on the beach, but you ultimately decided against it. You know that her intention was to hurt you, but you're an adult and you refuse to indulge in her petty games.

"Are you stressed out? I know I was when I was getting married," Jisoo chuckles, taking a sip of her tea as she curls up one of the patio sofas.

"Big time," Mai sighs. "Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to finally marry Joon, but wedding planning is a lot more stressful than I thought it would be."

You listen as Mai vents, going on about the caterers, and the venue, and the dress. You're a part of the conversation, but you shift in and out of being emotionally present. Your eyes drift off into the distance, staring out at the water with a distant look on your face, the pain in your ankle long forgotten.

"Joon and I even got into an argument last month because we went over budget...or, well, I went over budget," she scoffs.

"That's normal," Jisoo shrugs, giving her a reassuring smile. "Jin and I had a few arguments throughout the planning. I get it. As long as you don't let the stress come between you."

You might be here physically, but mentally, you've checked out. It's as if your thoughts have grown legs and ran off on their own, taunting you with Jisoo's words.

As long as you don't let the stress come between you.

Jisoo's words take you back to that time in your life, when you thought your life was perfect. It was perfect. You had the man of your dreams, a ring, and the promise of a long life together. Then you 'let the stress come between you'. At least that was Sunghoon's excuse for having sex with a friend of yours. He told you he was stressed out and the wedding planning just became too much for him, and you were always studying for your masters, never giving him the attention he deserved.

It's a strange thing, grieving. To grieve, not a person, but rather a bond that you spent years building with a person, is a feeling you can't quite explain. Grieving the loss of a relationship is not linear. The sadness and the anger come and go. Some days you're completely fine, laughing and going out, feeling like yourself again. Some days you're on your bedroom floor, crying as you clutch onto the wedding dress you never got the wear. You grieve Sunghoon, not because he died, but because that boy you fell for at sixteen no longer exists.

You envy Mai and Namjoon's relationship. It's clear how much they love each other, how much he loves her. It's clear how much he values and respects her, how his eyes don't prioritize anything that isn't her, how kind and gentle he is with her. It's a reminder of the love you once had. The love that was crumpled up and thrown in your face on a random Tuesday evening.

You have to excuse yourself when the feeling starts to get a bit too much, all this wedding-talk making your eyes sting. You go down to the beach, the sand feeling rough beneath your feet, the air much colder now that the sun is fully set. You sit down with your knees held to your chest, your eyes looking out at the water, the waves crashing loudly. It's what your brain sounds like. So, so loud. It's overwhelming and the lump in your throat is starting to hurt.

Then there's a voice behind you and it's like everything goes still, your thoughts finally quieting down.

"There you are," he murmurs, his voice soft and gentle, the sound enough to warm you up in the cold breeze. "Mai and Jisoo said you were out here."

You don't respond, your heart feeling a little lighter when he sits down next to you, his eyes trailing from the water to your face.

"Why are you out here alone, hm?"

"Just...needed some air."

"There's air in the house too, you know."

A faint smile flashes across your face before it fades, your eyes trained straight ahead of you. "It's better to think out here."

"I suppose that's true."

He looks over at you, sensing the sadness in your eyes, in your demeanour. He doesn't know what it is, but he wants to protect you from it. It might be greedy of him, but he wants to pick apart your brain and understand exactly what it is that's burdening you. He wants to know your past, your fears, your regrets. He doesn't want to push, but he wants to be let in.

"___, what's making you so sad?"

You scoff humourlessly. "What makes you think I'm sad?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't hide from me," he murmurs, looking at you with so much tenderness. "I can't force you to tell me what's bothering you...but I know it's not nothing."

"You think you've got me all figured out, huh?"

"Maybe."

He doesn't even know the half of it.

You stay silent, chewing on your bottom lip. You can't lie to him, and that kinda scares you. It scares you that you feel so strongly for him, strong enough to want to completely bare your soul for him.

"Listening to Mai and Jisoo talk about the wedding...it reminded me of..."

He doesn't rush you. He lets you take your time, holding his breath as he waits, sensing you want to open up about whatever it is that's weighing so heavily on your shoulders.

"It reminded me of a love I lost years ago..."

He isn't sure exactly what he feels. A part of him is relieved that you're finally letting him in, finally showing him this vulnerability. It's all he's ever wanted, yet the thought of a man hurting you, a man who once had the privilege of loving you (the privilege he so desperately longs for) and still throwing that away...it makes his head spin. This is the first time he's heard of you being with anyone in the past, and it reminds him of how little you've actually shared with him about yourself and your past.

"Do you...want to tell me about it?" He keeps his voice low, not wanting to speak too loudly in fear of scaring you away.

You take a deep breath before speaking.

"He was my first love...we met in high school. We were together for...a long time," you murmur, looking down at a vague spot in the sand. "And he cheated on me."

You don't tell him everything, just enough for him to get an understanding without sharing too much.

Your confession almost knocks the air out of his lungs, his brows furrowing, his eyes growing wide. He's angry. He's furious at the man who dared to betray you like that, he's confused why anyone would do something like that to a woman like you. He's sad, so terribly sad that you had to go through that. He can't imagine what that must have felt like, the pain you must have gone through. It pains him to think about you ever being hurt like that.

"___, I'm so sorry," he whispers, slowly inching closer to you.

"Don't be," you murmur, the faint smile on your lips not quite reaching your eyes. "It was a long time ago."

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. ___, you deserve...everything. You deserve someone who wakes up everyday and feels blessed to have you, who would go to the ends of the earth for you..."

There's a pause, the air feeling thick.

"You deserve a man who loves you with all his heart."

His words fade into a quiet whisper, as if he's just bared his deepest secrets. He looks at the side of your face, his heart pounding in his chest.

"___," he whispers, practically begging you to look at him.

Your gaze meets his, your eyes shining with a thin sheen of unshed tears. His words hold so much feeling, so much desperation.

"Yes?" It's almost too soft to reach his ears, your voice trembling.

He leans in, his face inching closer, his fingers gently brushing your hair behind your ear.

"If you were mine...really mine..." He takes a sharp inhale through his nose, his eyes boring into yours. "I'd never break your heart."

It's like a dam breaks.

You close the gap between you, pressing your lips to his, your eyes squeezing shut, a tear finally rolling down your cheek, quickly being brushed away by his thumb. You crawl into his lap, the kiss growing passionate, your fingers sliding up into his hair, gripping onto his strands to steady yourself. You feel everything and nothing and all that is in between.

You love him. You really do, and it took you four years of knowing him to admit it to yourself. It's scary and it's uncertain, but it's love and it's real and you can't keep running from it.

It makes you shiver, the overwhelming feeling mixed with the cold evening air.

"Are you cold?" He asks, pulling away to look into your eyes, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks.

"A little."

"Why don't we get you in a nice warm shower?"

You know what his suggestion implies, and you can't deny yourself of the pleasures of loving him and letting him love you.

"Okay."

You get up and make your way back to the house. It's completely still, everyone else already in their rooms. Jungkook leads you to your room and shuts the door, locking it for good measure. He looks over at you, the two of you silently communicating that you want this. He crosses the room and takes your face in his hands, crashing his lips into yours.

You walk backwards to the en-suite, pulling away only for him to open the shower door and turn the water on, the hot water slowly filling the room with steam. He turns back to you, searching your eyes for any hesitation.

"Are you coming in with me?" Your voice gives away your desires, your eyes begging him to give you what you want.

"Do you want me to?"

"I do," you murmur, leaning in to press a few quick pecks to his lips. You pull away and hold your arms up, a faint smile playing on your lips.

He gets the hint and reaches for the hem of your top, slowly pulling it up over your head, with big smiles spread across both of your faces. He reaches behind you to undo your bra, slowly sliding the material down your shoulders, letting it fall to the ground as he presses soft kisses to your collarbones. He kisses down your body until he is kneeling before you, his eyes trailing up to your face. "God, you're gorgeous," he mutters softly, hooking his fingers into the sides of your pants, pulling the fabric down your legs.

He presses a gentle peck to your lower stomach beneath your belly button, sending a shiver down your spine. He slowly pulls your panties down, tossing it aside with the rest of your clothes.

He stands up straight and smiles as you start undressing him, pulling his shirt over his head before moving onto his pants and boxers, letting the clothing pool at his feet.

He presses his lips to yours and leads you into the shower, the warm water cascading down your bodies. You wrap your arms around his neck, playing with the wet hair at the base of his neck. "I thought we were waiting until we got home," he whispers, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I'm tired of waiting," you whisper, moaning as he kisses down your neck.

His hands slide over your body, the water making everything slick, his fingers tracing along your curves. He pulls your body against his, his mouth moving up your neck to your ear, where he takes your earlobe into his mouth. "I'm gonna make you feel so good...gonna make you forget all about that other asshole."

He gently presses you up against the shower wall, kissing a line down the side of your neck. He holds onto your waist to steady you while his other hand finds its way between your legs, running his middle finger through your folds.

"So wet, baby," he mumbles into your neck, his voice a low rumble.

He gathers some of your slick on his fingers and starts rubbing slow circles over your clit. You moan softly and tilt your head back against the wall, your fingers gripping his biceps. He makes sure you're wet enough before sliding a finger into your pussy, slowly thrusting it in and out.

"F-fuck," you moan, your eyes fluttering shut.

"That feel good, baby?"

You nod.

"Want another?"

"Mhmm," you sigh blissfully, feeling him insert a second finger, his lips and tongue attached to your neck.

He groans at the sound of your slick, his fingers moving in a 'come here' motion, pulling soft moans and sighs from your lips. "You like that?" he mumbles, his voice a little deeper, his breathing a little ragged.

"Y-yeah," you manage to breathe out, your eyes squeezing shut and your eyebrows furrowing as the pleasure builds. Your nails dig into his biceps when his fingers pick up the pace, the knot in your stomach starting to tighten.

"Gonna...c-cum..."

He smiles against your neck as starts rubbing circles over your clit with his thumb, his middle and ring finger moving faster. "Cum for me, baby."

Your muscles tense up as the knot unravels, your orgasm washing over you with a loud moan. He slows his fingers, helping you through it by easing the pressure on your clit. "You did so good for me," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue licking into your mouth.

You hand trails down his abdomen until it reaches its destination, wrapping your fingers around his semi-hard cock. He moans into the kiss, slipping his fingers out of your pussy to grip your hips, needing something to ground him while you stroke his cock.

"Wanna make you feel good," you whisper into the kiss, trailing your lips down his chin and neck, moving lower until you're down on your knees in front of him.

He looks down at you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his stomach muscles tensing in anticipation. He slides his fingers through your wet hair, resting his free hand against the wall. He watches as you part your lips, his cock twitching in excitement.

"Gonna take it like a good girl?"

You nod up at him before pressing a teasing kiss to the tip, listening to the soft moan that falls from his lips. You start stroking the shaft, batting your eyelashes up at him.

"Fuck, that feels good," he sighs, taking hold of your chin, pushing his thumb into your mouth. He groans as you swirl your tongue around it, the way you would with his cock.

You suck on his thumb, making sure to hold eye contact while you stroke his cock, the tip already starting to leak a bit of pre-cum. Once you get him fully hard, you release his thumb from your mouth and replace it with his cock, feeling the delicious weight on your tongue.

He watches as you start sucking him, focusing your tongue on the head before taking him all the way to the back of your throat, pulling a deep groan from his throat. He fists his hand in your hair, letting out shaky breaths as the pleasure flows through him. You're a sight to see, with wet hair and a mouth full of cock.

He can't decide if he wants to cum down your throat or fuck you against the wall. He likes the sound of the latter.

"Baby...b-baby, stop," he mutters breathlessly, tugging at your hair to get you to release him from your mouth.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to be inside you," he breathes, helping you up before he slides his hands to the back of your thighs, lifting you up in one swift motion. "Need this pussy," he mutters, pressing you against the wall to grind his cock against your sopping folds.

You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning as he grinds into you, welcoming his lips against yours. He reaches down to align his cock with your entrance, slowly pushing into you with a guttural moan.

"F-fucking Christ, you feel so good," he groans, his fingers digging into your thighs as he starts thrusting into you, his cock filling you up like nothing and no one else can.

Having him inside you is something you'll never get tired of, his cock fitting in you like you were moulded just for him. You were made for him, and he was made for you. His thrusts make your head spin, the steam coming from the shower making everything feel more romantic, more intense.

"You're perfect," he sighs, his voice almost too quiet to hear if it weren't for the fact that his words are whispered directly into your ear. "So...so beautiful..."

All you can do in return is moan and whimper as his thrusts get deeper, the pleasure getting stronger. You lose all ability to form a coherent sentence, your eyes squeezing shut as he pounds into you. He slides his tongue into your mouth, gently digging his teeth into your bottom lip, giving it a little tug.

His thrusts start getting faster, sloppier, an indication of his impending high. Your own orgasm starts creeping closer, his cock hitting that special spot inside you that makes you turn to mush. "Oh my God, don't stop...so...so close..."

"Me too, baby...gonna cum s-so hard..."

He thrusts harder, hitting that same spot over and over again, his nails digging into your flesh. The coil in your stomach tightens, threatening to snap with each deep thrust. The air is thick with passion and desire, your body trembling in his hold, your moans bouncing off the wet bathroom walls.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he groans deeply, holding onto your thigh while his free arm wraps around your waist, holding onto you like you're his oxygen supply. "Oh f-fuck, ___!"

A few sloppy thrusts and your walls start spasming around his cock, triggering his orgasm. He paints your walls with thick white ropes of pleasure, his arms clutching your body like you might disappear into thin air.

"Holy sh-shit," he sighs, both of you slowly coming down from your high, giving you a few slow thrusts before pulling out, letting his cum leak out of you.

You're completely spent, smiling like a giddy schoolgirl, your cheeks flushed, your heart hammering in your chest. The warm water runs over your bodies, slowly bringing your brain back down to earth. "Let's just stay like this for a little while," you whisper, cupping his cheeks in your hands before pressing a light kiss to his swollen lips.

"Okay," he smiles, pressing soft pecks over your cheeks, your nose, your chin. He brushes some of your wet hair out of your face, looking at you like you hung the stars in his sky.

He slowly puts you down and reaches for your body wash, lathering some on your loofah. You're about to take it from him but he stops you. "Let me."

You look up into his eyes, seeing how much this means to him. Sex is one thing, but what you do after says everything. He doesn't just want the sex, and neither do you. He doesn't want this moment to end here, and neither do you, so you let him lather your body in the fragrant body wash because this is about so much more than sex.

He washes you with so much care, making sure the soap reaches every inch of your body. The last man you let wash you after sex was Sunghoon, but with Jungkook it somehow feels different. His hands are softer, he touches you more gently, and his gaze travels down your body like you're a work of art and he is lucky enough to get to lay his eyes upon you. It's difficult to just forget about the past and the heartbreak, but in this moment with Jungkook, you want to try to take the steps to move forward.

You rinse yourself off under the hot stream of water before taking his loofah from the shower hook and lathering it with your body wash, returning the favour. You run the soapy loofah over his body, running your free hand over his muscles, a soft smile settling onto both of your faces. You run your hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath the firm flesh. You lean in and press a soft kiss to the area, kissing all the way up to his lips.

The two of you stay like that for a while, just kissing under the warm water, the steam surrounding your bodies, partially blurring your vision. This level of intimacy feels so different and new to the two of you, and yet it feels so right, like you were always meant to be with him like this, like you were born to be loved by him.

You love him, and it feels like too big of a mouthful to say in this moment, too heavy on your tongue, too frightening for your brain to comprehend, so you keep it stored away for the time being. Admitting it to yourself is enough for now.

You stand kissing under the water until it starts turning cold, so you turn it off and step out. He dries you off with a fresh towel before moving onto himself, letting you dry his hair with your hairdryer. The two of you get ready for bed together, which again, is new for you. You stand next to him and brush your teeth, stealing glances at him in the mirror every chance you get.

You change into a t-shirt and panties and slip into bed with him, facing him while he languidly rubs your back beneath your shirt, his body bare except for a fresh pair of boxers. He smells like your body wash, like his skin has been stained by you.

"___, about what I said on the beach," he murmurs, chewing on his bottom lip.

"What about it?" you ask nervously, seeking his eyes for any sign that he regrets it.

"I meant every word I said," he whispers, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours.

"I know, Jungkook," you murmur, your voice barely reaching his ears before your lips seek out his in the dark room.

He kisses you until you're too sleepy to kiss back anymore, and when you fall asleep in his arms without protesting, your face reflecting how peaceful you feel, he finally rests. He knows what you're too afraid to say out loud, and he doesn't need to hear it from your lips to know that it's real.

He will continue to love you in silence until you're ready to be loved out loud.

The next morning, you wake up to sound of the waves crashing, the birds chirping, and the feeling of the sun on your face and Jungkook's lips on your cheek. You have to admit it's a damn good way to wake up.

"Morning," he mumbles, his voice still laced with sleep, the deep rumble going straight through your body. You've never had a thing for the 'morning voice' guys tend to exaggerate to sound sexy, but damn. He could read your grocery list after waking up and you'd get down on your knees for him.

"Morning," you smile, your eyes still feeling too heavy to open fully.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Really good," you murmur softly, holding the side of his jaw in the palm of your hand, feeling his warm skin. "You?"

"I slept amazing last night," he grins, his hand slowly sliding down your thigh to hook it over his hip, letting you feel his bulge.

At that, your eyes open, letting out a sleepy chuckle. "Someone's up early," you tease. "Is 'little Jungkook' excited to see me?"

"Don't call him little, it'll hurt his feelings," he groans, pressing his face into your neck as he rolls you onto your back, laying his weight on you. He presses a few lazy kisses to your neck, slowly grinding his hips into you. "He's big and manly."

"Oh, I'm sorry," you murmur, sighing as the head of his cock rubs over your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear. You loosely wrap your arms around his neck, letting your eyes flutter shut once more. "Maybe his lady friend can apologize for me."

"Yeah? Is she awake?"

"Mm...she's definitely awake."

"I should get her ready first," he whispers, pressing a final kiss to your neck before pulling away to pull your t-shirt over your head, tossing it aside.

"She's a little lower down, you know," you chuckle, biting your bottom lip as he starts kissing your breasts, enveloping a nipple in his warm, wet mouth.

"I know," he mumbles with your nipple in his mouth, giving it a suck and a little nibble before switching to the other side. "I just wanted to give my girls some attention too."

"Your...your girls?" You sigh in pleasure as he sucks on your nipple, running your fingers through his messy hair.

"Mm...my precious babies," he smiles, planting a kiss to your sternum before making his descent down your body, his head disappearing under the duvet.

He spreads your thighs to accommodate his shoulders, not bothering to remove your panties. He simply pulls them aside and starts pressing soft, feather-like kisses to your clit. He knows you're still sleepy, and he is too, so he takes his time, languidly licking and sucking on your clit before sliding his tongue through your slick folds, gathering some of your essence on his tongue.

"Fuck, you taste good in the morning." His voice is muffled against your pussy, the duvet drowning most of the sound, but it reaches your ears and it makes your walls clench.

He flicks and swirls his tongue around your clit, pulling moan after moan from your lips, your back arching off the mattress as he eats you out. You're not sure why, but cunnilingus feels even better when you're sleepy.

Soon enough, you're cumming on his tongue, lacking the energy to last any longer than necessary.

He crawls up to stick his head out from under the duvet, his tongue darting out to lick your slick off of his lips. "Love the taste of your pussy in the morning."

"Jesus Christ," you laugh, your cheeks still flushed from your orgasm and his filthy words. "Do you have to be so vulgar?"

"I absolutely have to be so vulgar, yes."

He kisses you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. It's early and neither one of you have gotten up yet to brush your teeth, but you don't care. You kinda like the way he tastes in the morning. It's natural, it's unfiltered and, you dare say; romantic. It makes your body heat up at the thought alone.

Morning sex is always a treat, a rarity for you and him. It's slower, and softer, and you don't have to think too much because your body just does what feels good. When Jungkook pushes his cock into you and presses his lips to yours to swallow your moans, you feel like you're on cloud nine.

"You're so pretty," he whispers into your ear, his voice deep and low, his hands sliding into yours to intertwine your fingers next to your head.

"You too," you sigh, your eyes rolling back into your head as he thrusts, making sure to roll his hips slowly and deeply.

"You think I'm pretty?" he grins faintly, keeping the pace nice and languid.

"S-so pretty..."

Your words pull a soft groan from within his chest, his face smooshed against your neck.

It doesn't feel like he's fucking you, but rather making love. There's no rush, the house still completely quiet in the early hours of the morning, giving him over enough time to pleasure you. The sun shines through the window, heating the skin of his bare back. His hair stands up in all directions from sleep, making him look extra soft and fluffy. He's so much more than pretty when you open your eyes to look at him. He's magnificent.

He kisses your lips as his thrusts pick up momentum, his body chasing his high. He reaches a hand down to rub circles over your clit, wanting you to finish with him, and as good as you feel, and as close as you are to cumming, you don't even care about that right now. All you care about is getting to share this intimacy with him.

He presses your body into the mattress when he cums, his arms wrapping firmly around your waist, his cock throbbing inside you.

You slide your hands around him, rubbing the skin of his back to soothe him, feeling the way his muscles flex beneath your palms.

His chest rises and falls unevenly, his whole body trembling, the feeling of pure bliss coursing through his veins. "Damn," he mumbles, his voice rough from his ragged breaths. "I might have just ejaculated my soul out of my body."

"That good?"

"So good," he chuckles, still a little breathless. "Wanna go take a shower?"

"Together?"

He leans on his elbows, looking down at you with a sheepish smile. "Yeah. Together."

You smile and push his frazzled hair out of his face, feeling your heart start to beat faster. "Okay."

The two of you take that shower together, sneaking in a few soft kisses and slow touches, trying your best not to get carried away. You kiss while you dry yourselves off and get dressed, and you kiss after brushing your teeth, and then before leaving your room to have breakfast with the rest of his friends, making sure to get in as many kisses before you have to be his "friend" again.

A part of you is sad to be leaving Jeju, but it's not the beach or the house you'll miss, although both of those things were quite nice. Instead, you'll miss opening your eyes in the morning and turning your head to see him next to you. You know that once you get home, you won't have any excuse to wake up next to him except for the fact that you're in love with him and you want to spend your mornings, your afternoons and your nights with him. That would just be insane to tell him that, so you won't, yet it's all you can think about on the plane ride back to Seoul.

He drives you home from the airport and carries your suitcase up to your apartment, handing it back to you at the door. You open the front door and walk in, expecting him to join you, but he doesn't.

"You coming in?"

"I want to but I should really get home to Bam," he sighs, giving you an apologetic smile.

That shouldn't disappoint you as much as it does. You understand, you love Bam and you know he needs his dad, even if you need his dad too.

"Right...yeah...I have to go get Miso from Jihyo's place anyway, so..."

He watches you as you try to hide your disappointment, an amused smile spreading across his face.

"Don't pout, baby," he teases.

"I'm not pouting," you scoff, rolling your eyes. "You should go, Bam-ie's waiting for you."

"Okay," he smiles, not making a move to leave just yet. "Can I get a kiss?"

"I don't know, can you?"

He scoffs and steps forward, cupping your face and pressing a few quick kisses to your mouth. "Before I leave," he murmurs against your lips. "I have a question I've been meaning to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Will you be my date to Joon and Mai's wedding?"

Your disappointment is replaced with surprise and an overwhelming heat that starts to spread throughout your chest, bringing a flush to your cheeks.

"O-okay," you murmur shyly, feeling your heart rate pick up.

"Yeah? Gonna wear a pretty dress for me?"

His smile and his words almost turn your knees to jello, but you manage to keep yourself composed, at least on the outside.

"Yeah."

"You gonna let me take the pretty dress off afterwards?"

"Yeah," you whisper, smiling as he presses another lingering kiss to your mouth, your hands holding onto his shirt to steady yourself.

"Good. I'll see you later, yeah?" He nudges your nose with his, his smile not faltering as he pulls away, sliding his hand down your arm until it reaches your hand, giving it a little squeeze before slowly releasing it.

"Yeah...see you later," you smile, watching him walk down the hall.

He walks until he reaches the elevator, pressing the button and stepping inside. He turns around to look at you down the hall, blowing you a quick kiss as the doors close. You have to wait until the elevator is fully closed before you let out a squeal, feeling like you're sixteen again.

< Part 4 || Part 6 >

[chukys-mouthguard]

i’d love to see you write something with the prompt “call me cheesy or a fool, but I needed to wish you sweet dreams” with joseph woll! just pure tooth-rotting sweetness and love

Prompt: “call me cheesy or a fool, but i needed to wish you sweet dreams”

Note: i swear he just exudes teddy bear fluff ball energy and i love it

There was no better feeling than finally being able to take your makeup off after a long day. Washing your face, throwing your hair in a messy bun, and climbing into bed buried under more blankets than one human should ever need.

Closing your eyes as all you could think about was-

Buzz buzz buzz, buzz buzz buzz

Opening your eyes with a groan, your arm flung to your bedside table to grab your phone as it buzzed. Wondering who was calling you and disrupting your peace.

“Joseph Woll, you better have a pretty good reason for calling me. Especially since we just got off the phone, I don’t know 10 minutes ago!”

He laughed at your playful scolding, knowing you could never truly be mad at him. You and Joseph had been dating for a few months now, and the one thing that had already become a staple was nightly phone calls when he was on the road. Although tonight that apparently changed to multiple phone calls since he’d now called you again.

“No no no, it’s a great reason actually!”

Rolling your eyes as you smiled into the phone, not able to control your childlike giddiness he made you feel when he got excited to talk to you.

“I’m waiting Joseph!”

Responding in a sing-song tone as you rolled over in bed, pulling the covers up tight to your chest.

“Call me cheesy or a fool, but I needed to wish you sweet dreams.”

Your cheeks bright red and blushing, he was definitely right that was cheesy, but it made you smile from ear to ear. Joseph was the kind of cheesy remarks, and it made you fall for him more and more each day. The way he could get you to blush and laugh at the drop of a hat, and he used it to his advantage.

“Josephhhhh! You’re such a pain in my butt!”

“I know I know, but I always tell you sweet dreams. And I forgot. And, well-“ his voice now at a whisper, surely his roommate for the road trip had joined him in the room and he was trying his best to not get caught being a sappy boy.

“we’ve been on a win streak ever since I started telling you sweet dreams. And, I feel like that’s gotta be good luck or something?”

Shaking your head you could not begin to wrap your head around how you got stuck with such an adorable teddy bear of a man.

“So what happens when you lose? You won’t tell me sweet dreams anymore?”

Pouring into the phone, Joseph quickly protested the idea. “Oh my gosh, I did make it seem like that huh? Of course I’ll keep saying it, I just, dang it I goofed on that one huh?”

The two of you laughing before you’d let out a yawn, letting him know you did need to get some sleep.

“Well, if and when the day comes we lose, I’ll just start a new thing to say to you before I hand up. But for now, sweet dreams baby girl.”

[eliashirsch]

Sweet Mornings

Bradley wakes up, like most mornings, warm and comfortable in his bed. He managed to tangle the blanket around himself like a burrito, only his head peeking out to feel the cold morning breeze flowing through the ajar window. He peeks an eye open, watching the sliver of light appear and disappear through the swaying curtain. The clock on the wall reads seven thirty-eight.

He cracks his jaw open with a yawn, a full-body shiver running through him. Wiggling his toes and poking them out from the blanket, he immediately shrivels back in at the cold. 

“Hm,” he whines, burying deeper into his pillow. “Jake…”

No one comes. Bradley closes his eyes again and pouts. Having a boyfriend means he should come at his beck and call. Where is that Texan fucker?

“Right here, honey.”

Bradley smiles, a Pavlovian response. How can he not when his beloved is drawing out his favored pet name that exaggerated southern twang. Jake’s voice has some rasp to it, so he mustn’t have been awake for long. 

“Miss me that much?” Jake asks, sliding behind Bradley to wrap around his waist, smooching a kiss to the back of his ears. “I was only gone for a minute.”

“Hm. It’s cold. Where did you go?”

“Getting the mail. Ice and Mav sent their latest postcard.”

“Where are they now?”

“Venice. They sound happy.”

“God, I hope so. If they come back still bitching at each other I’m going to hire a hitman to kidnap Mav.”

“Then Ice will really burn this world down to get him back, babe,” Jake reminds, tracing lines on Bradley’s stomach, though it goes unfelt from the thick blanket. “You ever wanna go on a road trip?”

“What? Like them?”

“Mh-hm.”

“When are we gonna find the time?”

“We have some leave saved up.”

“Not that much to travel the world.”

“You know, Jessie was talking to me about her boyfriend last week. Something about if he wanted to, he would?”

Bradley huffs, shaking his head. “I’m just saying. We’re busy people. We can’t exactly drop everything to go away for days at a time.”

“If he wanted to, he would,” Jake repeats, though without heat. He drags Bradley closer to his chest, spreading his hands so that they’re splayed on Bradley’s chest, right on his heart. Bradley wonders if he can feel his quickening heartbeat on his fingertips. “If you could, where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere in the world?”

“Anywhere in the world.”

Bradley thinks about it for a second, brain taking its sweet time to catch up. He thinks about Ice and Mav, his two dads finally getting the time to live without death hanging over their heads, who get to hold each other’s hands with lessened fear about someone making a huge fuss about it. Who got their happy endings.

He thinks about those two sappy old timers and his chest warms just like when he looks at Jake. Proof that people like him can be happy. 

He turns his head, finding his boyfriend, hair rumpled, eyes still soft, mouth quirked up in a genuine smile and not a mocking one.��Whipped, Natasha would say. Bradley lifts his head and pecks his boyfriend’s lips. Once, twice, three times. They smell like morning breath, but at this point, neither of them mind. They’ve tasted each other at their worst. 

“I’d go anywhere in the world.” Bradley rubs their noses together, the same way he and his mom used to do all the time. “Just as long as you’re there with me.”

“Sap,” Jake teases, but his ears and cheeks are red, crumpling under affection so sweetly. “Such a fucking sap, Bradshaw.”

“Only for you, honey.”

[glazesunflower]

may i ask for some dating headcannons with focalors the hydro archon? :3

Dating Furina/Focalors Headcanons

Characters: Furina/Focalors x GN!Reader.

Warnings: None that apply!

Notes: I was waiting to play the first Fontaine Archon Quest to get a grasp of her character before writing this. I have to say, I absolutely love this gremlin and bratty Archon. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. (The last ones are my favorite <3)

Furina is flamboyant, imprudent and she lives for the thrill of the drama and the validation of those around her, so you’ll have to be very understanding and patient with her and the fair amount of mishaps that she will surely cause. So be prepared!

.

She doesn’t really voice it, she’s too proud for that, but she absolutely loves the way you’ve become her anchor, helping to balance out her impulsive nature with your calm and understanding demeanor. When she's on the brink of making a hasty decision, you're there to gently guide her, reminding her to consider all perspectives and consequences before acting. And she takes your advice to heart, be proud of that!

.

She struggles internally a lot with the pressure of her public image. Of course, she doesn’t say this directly to you, but you can see how it affects her, and so you write for her heartfelt letters whenever she's facing a tough situation. She doesn’t really make much of a fuss about them, but internally your words of encouragement and reminders of her strengths become her source of comfort, and she rereads them many more times than she’s willing to admit. She even has a special box where she keeps them all. But don’t ask her about it!

.

But it’s not all sappy stuff, your relationship with her is very adventurous and fun! Furina absolutely loves a good thrill and an outstanding performance in everything she does, so you’re of course expected to tag along in all of her endeavors. Whether it's exploring a new case that’s just taken place, trying out quirky local restaurants, or taking impromptu road trips through Fontaine, you both find joy in the thrill of the new things you try together!

.

Furina absolutely thrives on positive attention and affirmation. She is always very touched by your heartfelt compliments and words of encouragement (she probably won’t say it, mind you, but she would engrave your words in her mind to always come back to them). Express your admiration for her skills, charisma, and unique qualities and Furina will glow, feeling appreciated and loved. Keep them coming, she can’t get enough!

.

After some time of her being with you, Furina will slowly (and I mean, very slowly) feel comfortable enough with letting her guard down around you. And that is no easy feat! She’s constantly thinking that she will be judged by whatever she says wrong, so you should feel immensely lucky that she’s willing to trust you with her innermost turmoils! (Her words.) In time, you create a safe space where she can express her insecurities without fear of judgment, because you’re kind like that and you love her. You encourage Furina to have a ton of heartfelt conversations, and slowly you help her understand that she doesn't have to be perfect to be loved. It’s still a work in progress, but she’ll get there.

.

Furina is a sucker for gifts. After all, what better way for others to express their admiration for her, right? But the ones she loves the most are yours, of course. The gifts and tokens of your affection hold special meanings, since you picked them out knowing she’d like them. Like a charm to remind her of her resilience or a piece of art that reflects her flamboyant personality and you thought, “Oh, this reminds me of her!”. Keep doing that. She can’t get enough of it.

.

Knowing how much she loves and treasures positive attention, you organize surprise events or gatherings to celebrate Furina’s accomplishments, no matter how small they are. She doesn’t make a big deal out of it (She deserves all the praise and attention, after all!), but you see the brightest smile dancing on her lips the whole day, and that’s how you see how much she values these moments. These thoughtful gestures show Furina that you genuinely appreciate her efforts and want to support her in all aspects of her life. She will try even harder this time, if only for you to praise her more.

.

Your relationship with her is also full of laughter. You tease each other constantly, at all times, sharing inside jokes, and find humor in the quirks of everyday life together. Furina knows you have an ability to make her smile even in challenging times and she silently appreciates you so much for her. Still, you tease her too much. And she is the embodiment of the divine, she can’t have you teasing her in public!

.

With the passing of the time by your side (and I mean, at a very slow pace!), Furina starts to overcome her need for constant validation from others. She slowly becomes more confident in her abilities in the court and outside of it, and she learns to embrace her imperfections (her impulsivity, childlike temper, the constant bravado and drama, the list goes on!), understanding that you love her for who she truly is. Really, how could you not? She’s impressive and heavenly! It’s only natural you’re head over heels and completely in love with her! (She’s working on her arrogance, too).

.

Furina loves the spotlight more than anything else in the world (well, she only likes you more, and that’s saying something!), so sometimes you plan extravagant date nights that cater to her love for the spotlight. Whether it's a private outdoor performance under the stars or a playful evening of reenacting dramatic scenes from her favorite plays, you keep the excitement alive for her. And she thrives in every minute of it.

.

When it comes to physical touch, Furina is by far not used to it at the very beginning, so she’s fairly unsure when it comes to it. But she’s quick to realize that your gentle pats on her back, walking around with linked arms, or even a reassuring touch on her shoulder during moments of stress in the courtroom make her feel so much better instantly! Is this some kind of heavenly magic? 

.

Furina quickly starts to associate your touch with positive emotions. Holding hands with you during a thrilling adventure or wrapping an arm around your waist while watching a dramatic play becomes something she really, really likes doing. 

.

And when you introduce cuddling to her, Furina finds a whole new world to explore and enjoy. Whether it's lounging on your couch or stargazing, Furina wants to be in your arms at all times, if she has any say in the matter! Let her nuzzle into your neck and stay there for a while, she feels the safest she’s ever felt.

.

Furina enjoys your touch very much. She does not enjoy, however, how you playfully tease her with light touches, tickles, and gentle bumps! She’s the embodiment of justice, you can’t just have her wiggling and choking on laughter beneath you, how unsightly! (She absolutely loves it).

.

Furina has associated your touch with comfort and safety, so don’t be surprised when she comes to you after an especially hard day. Yes, she messed up in the courtroom today, but you’ll let her rest against you, won’t you? Your hugs and embraces become her safe haven. Sometimes she will open up and admit what happened that day. Others, she simply wants to enjoy your arms holding her tight in silence. In either case, she deeply appreciates you being there for her. She won’t voice it, of course, but you’ll know in the way she presses her forehead closer to you and the angle of your neck.

.

She also finds that physical touch is very useful! She starts using her own touch on you as a way to express her emotions. A soft kiss on your cheek in the morning, a warm hug after a long day, or even a surprise tackle or an affectionate nudge as you tease each other becomes her way of saying "I care about you" without needing dramatic and flamboyant words. How practical! She will keep showering you with her divine affection for many more years to come!

.

Having Furina as a significant other is no easy feat, it takes a lot of courage, determination, and most of all, a big amount of patience and understanding. Still, she is the most vibrant and colorful part of your life, so you wouldn’t have it any other way. With her, you become her partner in both the thrilling moments and the challenges of her life. Your love and support help her navigate her insecurities and embrace her true self, helping to nurture a romance that's passionate and tender and all the beautiful things in between.

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking or reblogging it <3!

You can check more of my writing on (this link!). Thank you!

[holly-louisexox]

Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 33

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices...

...But then things changed.

"Delia, it's so nice to meet you, I'm Amy." Andy's mum gushes as she carefully pulls Delia into a small and welcoming hug before letting go again. "Please, sit down love, make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you too." Delia smiles back politely as she sits on the sofa in the living room.

"Andy told me what happened and I saw the news articles online, I'm so sorry dear. If ever you need anything you can always come to us, now that you're with Andy you're a part of this family." Amy explains warmly just as Andy sits on the sofa next to Delia.

"I appreciate that a lot, thank you." Delia continues to smile to show her gratitude.

"Alright mum, no need to get all sappy." Andy laughs awkwardly whilst looking at his mum.

"Andy, she's just being nice." Delia shakes her head slightly whilst playfully whacking Andy's arm which makes him laugh more.

"You must be Delia!" Andy's dad exclaims as he walks into the living room "Andy has told us so much about you, don't worry all good things. I'm Chris by the way."

"I forgot how embarrassing parents can be at times like this." Andy shakes his head slightly before regaining his composure "Dad was actually the original band manager before the band signed to the first record deal."

"No way, that's so cool! I apologise, I wasn't aware." Delia was in slight shock and awe knowing Andy's dad helped the band get to where they are now.

"No worries Delia." Chris grins as he goes to sit down in the unoccupied armchair "It was fun whilst it lasted, I couldn't do it now at my age, that shit is tiring."

"Yeah, it's definitely a lot, although I did enjoy seeing all of the different sights." Delia explains as she thinks back to all the cool things she had seen on the road.

"We saw Phantom of the Opera together whilst in New York." Andy tells his parents whilst grinning ear to ear; it was very clear how much Andy loved the musical.

"Again? Andy how many times have you seen that show now?" Chris pokes fun at his son "Seriously, this guy could probably quote the whole musical word for word at this rate, wouldn't surprise me if he did know it that well."

"I think about 6 times live now?" Andy questions himself clearly trying to recount the times he's seen it "Delia had expressed her love for the show though and said she hadn't seen it. I wasn't about to turn down the opportunity to see it live again, so I managed to get some last minute tickets in a box."

"A theatre trip for a first date, when did you become so romantic Andy?" Amy laughs and joins in on the teasing that Chris had started.

"It wasn't actually a first date." Andy begins to explain as he gently takes Delia's hand as if to make a point. "I actually didn't want to fall for Delia so I made a plan of taking her to see Phantom to let her down easy. Safe to say that did not work to plan, but I'm glad it didn't."

"Sometimes we don't realise what's right in front of us before we could potentially lose it." Chris nods slightly understanding Andy's choices "It's good to see you happy again though son, I'm glad the old you is back."

"Yeah, it's good to be back." Andy is sincere in his words as he awkwardly looks down at his and Delia's entwined hands.

"So Delia, do you live in Cincinnati or are you just here visiting?" Amy asks trying to change the subject and rid the slightly awkward silence of the air.

"I do, I live here with my parents still but I may be moving to LA soon." Delia explains whilst discreetly squeezing Andy's hand.

"Oh that sounds lovely!" Amy grins "Have you always been in Cincinnati then?"

"Erm, no actually, When I went to university to study production and tech I went to Italy." Delia reveals.

"Italy! Oh I've said to Chris many a times I want to visit there, it looks gorgeous. What was it like? How long were you there for?" Amy gets a little excited at the mention of the country.

"Oh Italy is gorgeous and I would love to go back myself at some point, 5 years just wasn't enough." Delia laughs slightly at Amy's excited mannerism "I went there because the university offered a really good course and I'm actually half Italian myself. My dad was born and raised there."

"Oh how lovely, I've always been interested in the idea of tracking back family and making a family tree but Chris just laughs at me and claims the websites for the files can be too expensive." Amy reveals which makes Chris role his eyes.

"I don't think it's that expensive depending on what website you use, I just know it's extremely time consuming and addictive. Mum made our family tree and tracked it all the way back to the 1600s but she spent hours doing it." Delia clarifies.

"Delia, as lovely as you are, please do not give Amy ideas." Chris laughs.

"Dad, don't be boring." Andy smirks "Mum, if you really wanna make the family tree tell me how much the documents are and I'll pay it."

"Oh thank you dear." Amy smiles at her son before looking at the clock that was sat on the living room wall "Crap, is that the time? I need to get dinner started. Chris, you put the potatoes on a slow cook earlier right?"

"Yes, I sorted the potatoes dear, don't worry." Chris confirms with a nod.

"Delia, you're staying for dinner right dear? It would be wonderful to get to know you better." Amy expresses

"We're here for dinner mum, remember I said Delia was staying tonight." Andy verifies to his mum.

"Oh right, yes, of course." Amy stutters as she makes her way to the kitchen "Sorry, it's been a crazy few days with making sure everything is ready for Christmas, it is only a week away now."

"Mum is a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to Christmas." Andy mutters to Delia.

"I heard that!" Amy shouts from the kitchen.

"How?" Andy laughs in shock.

"Mother's just have that super hearing ability, my mum is the same." Delia laughs alongside Andy.

"She's right, although I think it's just women in general. God forbid I say anything bad about your mother." Chris joins in on the laughter.

"You wouldn't dare say anything bad Christopher!" Amy jokingly calls from the kitchen again.

"Of course not dear." Chris calls back trying to conceal his laughter which just made Delia and Andy crack up laughing even further.

--------------------

"So Andy, just remind me again, what date are you flying back to LA?" Amy asks.

As Delia swallowed another bite of the lovely dinner Amy and Chris had made, she felt her heart stop momentarily. Of course she knew Andy would go back to LA at some point, after all, his life was there now; she had not had that conversation with him yet and the thought of him leaving Ohio made her heart hurt. Maybe the ache she felt was a sign that she should go to LA with him, she felt safe and complete with him; she wouldn't want to lose that feeling by having him be a 4 hour flight away from her.

"I'm flying back on the 30th of December, CC is hosting a New Years Eve party this year and wants us all there." Andy nods "Oh yeah, Delia, this was planned way before the tour so we need to message CC later to say you'll be there too, it's CC of course he'll want you there."

Andy wants her at the party with him, Andy wants her in LA with him. The thought alone made her heart flutter as she turns to look at him sending a shy smile. Despite the battle she was still fighting in her head about moving to LA, the side of wanting to move there was winning more and more by the day.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." Delia nods trying to ignore the butterflies she was feeling in her stomach; although Andy noticed the way she looked at him and sent a small smile of his own.

"Oh that's good, at least you'll till be here a few days after Christmas then so there's no big rush to get back." Amy smiles.

"Got anymore tours coming up Andy?" Chris asks to completely change the subject; he saw the way Delia and Andy looked at each other, like love sick puppies, and as much as he wanted to tease them about it he bit his tongue.

"At the moment nothing is set in stone, but I suspect management are already planning a UK and Europe tour." Andy nods.

"Will you be working that tour Delia?" Chris continues to question; Chris was always wanting to know about the tours the band went on, what could he say, he was the typical proud father and admired Andy for all the hard work and dedication he put into the band.

"I'm not sure, although I would very much like to as I would love to visit England one day." Delia smiles "It depends if I'm hired again or not."

"Of course we're going to hire you again Delia, don't be silly." Andy chuckles lightly "You're great at what you do and the band all love you, plus I'm going to want you there."

"You two are adorable." Amy blurts out.

"Mum, that's embarrassing." Andy groans slightly as the moment was ruined.

"That's not embarrassing, if you want embarrassing I'm sure Delia would love to see some of your earlier performances, especially your in home performances of Phantom and Sweeney Todd." Amy jokingly threatens.

"Mum you wouldn't." Andy continues to complain.

"Don't test me Andrew." Amy winks which just makes Andy roll his eyes.

As much as Andy wanted to protest, he did in fact miss his parents. Being back with them and being able to joke around and chat was refreshing to him. He'd never fully admit it to himself or anyone else, but for the first time in a long time he genuinely felt happy; and he had Delia to thank for all of that. She restored his faith in love and human connection, helped him fix the relationship with his parents and helped him patch up the hole in his heart. He knew none of this was going to be easy because he still had his fears and Delia had her new found fears, but he was willing to do whatever it took to preserve what he had.

Now he just had to hope that nothing was going to come along and take that happiness from him...

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - December 30th

Welcome to the final SteveTony Weekly of the year! Tomorrow I’ll be sharing my short list of favorite reads of the year--enjoy these and be sure to leave comment and kudos for your authors if you enjoy them! 

~

ends of the earth by meidui

“We have a new deal,” Tony interrupts. “From now on, you feel like you messed up, you come home to me. You come home to New York and we figure it out together. If you’re on this cross country road trip and living on a farm because you like it, fine, I’ll come out and visit. But if you’re out here because you’re sorry, I’ve got some bad news for you, buddy. Not even you could fix the entire world.”

They always slip so briskly and unexpectedly into conversations like this. There’s never been anything between them to thaw. Tony has been a bullet through the heart since they first met and he’s still lodged there, and Steve doesn’t know how to get him out.

He doesn’t deserve Tony coming all the way down to Illinois with his million watt attention and a slice of that blunt kindness of his.

the steve rogers rating system by meidui

Tony has an internalised Steve Rogers rating system, but it’s not standardised. It’s also not a foolproof system because Steve behaves in ways that crash it all the time.

everything and the kitchen sink by meidui

Steve eats a lot after the serum (and stashes snacks in his utility belt).

How Close Am I To Losing You by tinystark616

Three different stories about the first time Steve says "I love you" to Tony.

Unseen, unheard by lomku 

Tony and Steve have a furtive encounter. Tony wishes they could have more.

you'd think they'd be married by now by FunSizedMomo 

Tony can cook.

Steve loves Tony's cooking. And baking.

Oh and he loves Tony too.

Thoughtful Indulgences by HeLovedYou (come_chaos)

Tony takes Steve to space for their second anniversary together.

Sun Spots and Other Warm Things by s_p_r_o_u_t

Steve takes care of Tony on a bad mental health day. Lots of sappy fluff!

Nothing Wrong by tinystark616

As the Avengers' leader, Steve always praises each member of the team for their good work.

Except for Tony.

In Arrears by Sineala 

Steve had nearly forgotten what day it was, because he hadn't exactly wanted to write "roleplay elaborate landlord/tenant sexual fantasy with Tony" on his calendar where other people might see it. He suspected Tony actually had written precisely that on his, but, well, that was why he and Tony were two different people.

Coincidences by ladyshadowdrake

Steve hasn't been to a Quidditch game since his mother was still alive, but the US is playing in the World Cup, so why not? He definitely doesn't expect to run into Tony there.

light of my life by tinystark616

Steve has always loved Tony's arc reactor.

And he's always loved Tony.

Make Me Laugh, Make Me Come (At the Same Time) by Sadisticsparkle (sadisticsparkle)

This was it. After many months of sudden invasions, unexpected heists, and at least two zombie outbreaks, they had an entire night for themselves.

this love came back to me by complicationstoo 

It's been two and half years since the last time Steve and Tony saw each other, but the pieces fall right back into place when a chance meeting connects them again.

fourth time's the charm by complicationstoo 

Three times Steve's gifts for Tony didn't go as planned, and the one time it went right.

dreamt of you all summer long by complicationstoo

Steve spends months after the breakup trying to forget Tony, but it never seems to work. That's alright, though, because Tony can't forget him either.

once in a lifetime by meidui for Areiton

“You should be worried that I'll break into your apartment, steal your identity and flee the country with all your money,” Steve says, one arm slung lazily across Tony's chest, playing with the key to his safe. “You shouldn't go around handing out keys to people, you know.”

Tony makes a low, offended noise and grabs Steve’s chin, making him laugh. “Is that what you think I do?”

By The Numbers by JenTheSweetie

“I’m not certain that obtaining a larger vessel will assist him in vanquishing this most dangerous sea creature,” Thor said firmly.

Or, five ways other than battles that the Avengers measured a year.

The Ballad of Captains America by JenTheSweetie

“The thing I want you all to remember, when this is over,” Tony said to Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, and Bruce Banner, and fuck, they really needed to find Thor, or possibly Thors, “is that I was planning to use this for good, not evil."

do i wanna know by JenTheSweetie

When Steve Rogers woke up, they told him a lot of things.

They told him they’d fixed things been wrong back before, and that the world was better now. They told him that SHIELD was where he belonged, that they took only the best and the brightest and the bravest. They told him that with his help, they were going to save the world.

They also told him Tony Stark was dangerous.

But Steve Rogers once jumped on top of a grenade, so really, it’s all relative.

[heyidkyay]

I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name |

Part Twenty-Five

A/n: Hellooo! 25 is here!! Thank you for all of the incredible feedback on the last two updates! It honestly made my entire weeekkk, you're all so lovely it hurts. But, this part will be a little bit different, it starts off with a monologue of sorts from our very own G:) so I hope you enjoy that and then it just continues on from where we ended Part 23! :D

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Nothing much, angst, but when is there not with these two? and swearing as per usual:)

Masterlist

—GEORGE’S POV—

I made a promise. A very long time ago. 

On a street corner under dazzling lights.

Then again in a tiny little hospital bathroom.

Once more at a train station so hectic I could barely even hear myself think.

And I kept on making that same promise. Like a prayer on a loop forever inside my head.

At gigs; from across the top of our kitchen counter; on the tour bus; and during flights over seas. A prayer. A promise. So simple. Innocent, really. Always on the tip of my tongue. Scratched into the walls of my throat, there but never heard. 

An endless loop. A cycle.

I never once thought that I’d break it.

That I’d be the one to break her. Not after everything.

But I was.

I made a promise that I couldn’t keep and it didn’t just break her, it broke me.

…

I felt strange whenever I was with her. It started out as a nervousness, this tiny fizzing ball of it sat at the very top of my stomach. She’d waltzed into the music room I’d taken to hiding in most days and rendered my mind empty. She’d prattled away about this and that, and I’d quickly learnt that that was her own way of hiding. She was just simply better at it. 

It was so long ago now and yet, her smile hasn’t changed and neither have her soulful eyes.

I’d wandered around after her for a short while as kids. The nervousness that I’d felt had shifted into curiosity. The boys had been welcoming enough, but her. She was just something other. And she didn’t even know it. Didn’t see the lingering eyes that trailed after her. The sappy smiles and laughs she garnered. 

I’d bugged her at first, I knew that. This kid that never had much to say. I’d put her on edge, made her wary of the secrets she’d held too close to her chest. Because like calls to like. 

She was hard to figure out in the beginning, sometimes even after it, so strong and effortless in the way she went about things, in how she lied. But we were one in the same. And when she finally let me in, it was like everything clicked. And what she’d had yet to realise was that she’d disarmed me without even trying to. I’d have done anything she asked. 

There was this one night, the first night I call it, where she’d been battered to bits sat outside on a park bench not too far off my road. I’d spotted her from a mile off. Because of course I had, she was the lighthouse that called to my dull and aching sea. And I hadn’t known what to make of it at first, just a kid myself, but then I’d told her why I’d been out walking so late and in turn she’d dropped the facade and gifted me one of her truths.

I found out she preferred tea to coffee that same night, and that she hated hot-chocolate.

As the weeks bled into months she let me have a few more.

That summer in London had been one of the best ones of my life. Even now I think back to it and grin, wishing I could step back into it, smile at her one last time before I lost her again.

She’d sung to me one night during that trip, late late into the early hours of the morning. She’d been curled up against me, both our eyes heavy with sleep. But she’d sung, sweet as anything I’d ever heard into the curve of my chest. And I’d held my breath the whole while and just listened.

My Birdie, my little songbird.

By the end of the time we’d spent holed up in that house with her Nana, Aunt and Big Cyril too, she’d gifted me a lighter. The same one she carried with her every place she went. She had spent the morning gardening with her nan, the bullmastiff sprawled lazily on the grass beside them, and then she’d come back in to find me and let it drop into my hand. 

It was the one thing I treasured most, I took it everywhere. Even to this day. 

I can remember the one time I thought I’d lost it- this is years beyond the days spent in Bethnal Green, on the first proper tour we’d landed- she hadn’t been with me and it’d been all I’d had of her. 

I’d fucking lost it. Completely. Don’t think the guys had ever seen me so worked up. I’d torn apart every inch of that bus as well as our dressing room too trying to find it, only for Matty to come stumbling up the steps with it in his hand a while later, joint dangling from his lips. His eyes had never been stretched so wide, the way I’d gone off on him had not just surprised everyone else, but me too. And I’d realised later on, in the hours after the show had ended with me curled up in my tiny bunk, that it hadn’t just been about the lighter. I was stuck, half-way to losing my mind without her near. It’d felt like I’d left half of me back home.

And when things had ended between us…

When things had ended between us, I’d lost myself completely.

So torn up about things I’d been too scared to face. 

I’d left. I’d been the one to give up. To give up on one of the few good things life had ever given me.

And I’d sat staring at the clock trying to pass time for weeks after.

—

I love you.

Love’s a funny, fickle thing. Isn’t it?

It can build you up but just as easily tear you down again.

It stains, worse than red wine on cheap carpet or blood on a white tee.

It hollows you out, makes itself a hole right there in your heart. A hole which starts out so tiny, it’s barely even noticeable. Until it’s gone and you’re left with a throbbing empty wound in your chest.

I remember how much my mum loved my dad.

When I was little, like really little, they used to sing to one another. Dance about in our kitchen and laugh over cups of steaming tea. And when dad got ill that love only brightened, I saw it. In the small things she did. How’d she’d cook his favourite meal most days so that he could remember and read him the morning newspaper when he was feeling too tired to keep his eyes open. She loved him, I knew that. And she’d loved me once too. 

After he was gone I spent a lot of time down south. At Nana’s and Aunt Delany’s. Mum didn’t have much family, her parents both having passed long before I was even born, and her being an only child. So I spent time in London. A lot of time. Whilst she’d stayed home, pretending.

I’d only been young, nine or so. I missed him like you would a limb. I missed her too. I lost them both the day that he died. And I told Nana so, she’d just said that grief took time, and Aunt Del claimed that I reminded mum too much of my dad. My guilt frayed that day, unraveled itself inside me. And so I stayed in London long after the funeral until mum finally came and got me, she took me back home again. Only home wasn’t there anymore. And everything in that house reminded me of him.

I think my mum forgot how to love after. Like all of it left her when he did.

And I, well I was just a painful reminder of it. One she couldn’t bare to see. 

So I took the brunt of her emotions. A lot of them new. Just like all of the people she let in and out of the house. I learned to keep quiet, shut my mouth after the first few. Learned to cover up, to brave a smile. I became a liar. A skilled one too. But I still loved. I loved her because she was my mother. I loved her because I didn’t know what else I could do. But with her love, came blame, came guilt, came fault. And her love, once red, was now only blue. Hues of it, black and purple on tender skin. Cruel words dotted into sentences and distinctive falls of feet.

Love. 

It came to me in other ways as I grew older though. 

In friendships, like the one I shared with Vicky. And in people like Ross and Adam who bothered me greatly in ways that only brothers could. With Matty and all his eccentricity. Who’s love shined bright and came in bursts of all sorts of colours. His love kept me on my toes and breathless, it came with a family, how his sort of became mine. 

And then with George, who had shown me a whole new meaning to the word. Who gave me another place to live and to grow, a home who was just a person. He warmed me, made me feel safe. His love let me wander, and it let me feel free. His love came in gentle touches and kisses so deep. When I was around his love I wanted to forget my own name. And when he left me, I don’t know how I really stayed steady. The whole world tilted on its head and shook the ground beneath me. He left and I’d never felt that much pain. Everything around me grew silent, life dulled. That love I felt dimmed.

He looked up at me now, in a room so far away from the one we’d once shared. His very presence made me weak, made that grief I always felt so much more profound. He loves me. But I don’t know if I believe him. I love him. But I’m also a liar. That I knew. 

He’d given me the decision this time around. Because he’d been selfish the last, when he’d left with not even a warning. But it felt selfish now too, for him to leave it all up to me. 

Up to me… 

I love you.

His words, not mine.

I love you.

Said so quietly.

He’d left me with a choice. One he had to know would only rip me in two again.

And so I kissed him. It was almost a parallel to our first, over wrinkled bedsheets and in a house neither of us owned. It took me back. His hand was stilled my hair, his nose brushed against my own and the skin of my cheek. My chest ached with it. Lungs filled with lost air, dwindling.

I was tired of being brave, I thought. My whole life I’d been fighting. With him he made it feel so easy, but I was scared. Scared that letting him back in meant giving up. 

What was braver, to stay or to go?

I pulled away, kept my eyes closed as we caught our breath in the heady sun-warmed villa, foreheads pressed together.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“I know.”

“I love you.”

I paused. That hole in me ached again.

“I know.”

Then I asked him to leave.

—

The air felt different here. So many miles away from the little town I’d grown up in. 

The skies were bluer, clearer here. The sun shone brighter, warmer. Walking felt easier.

I let myself get lost in the old town, I gazed over the shore and the sand, murmured quietly to owners of quaint market stalls in the main square. I let my feet lead me this way and that. Under a aging clocktower as it gonged and behind a row of multi-coloured houses. I didn’t think. Wouldn’t let myself. I counted as high as I could. Reminded myself of the colours of the rainbow. Kept my gaze trained on every sound I heard, children laughing, mopeds speeding past, talks over early lunches. 

I didn’t know why I’d ended up here. Maybe it was because I needed to know. Know if I could love without him. If I could just try. I went and sat in the waiting room, cardigan clenched in shaking hands, eyes stuck on it.

I felt the bench beside me dip under his weight a little while later and I knew it was him without even having to look. He had this aura about him, this grace. He didn’t speak, didn’t utter a word, simply sat and waited with me, or for me rather. I couldn’t be too sure. I didn’t think I’d ever felt this confused. 

“How’d you know I was here?” I asked him after a prolonged pause. I hadn’t said a word to anyone after I’d arrived, just left it up to chance as I took a seat here in the waiting room to this massive hospital. 

I hadn’t seen much of it the first time around. 

Alvaro shifted next to me slightly, I could see the trim of his crisp white coat out of the corner of my eye. “My horoscope told me to be on the look out for an unexpected traveller.” He teased and I cracked a small smile down at my hands, before I glanced up and over to him. His eyes searched mine for a long second, before he then told me the truth. “I saw you here just as I was going on break.”

I nodded, guilt creeping its way in again. “I didn’t mean to keep you.”

He waved me off, shaking his head with a kind smile. “You could never. I mean, I could have just hidden, no? If I didn’t want to see you.”

I blew a small laugh out of my nose, “I suppose.”

He grinned over at me, pleased to see me smile it seemed. “I was hoping I would see you again.”

My eyes drifted back and forth between his own, “Oh?”

He hummed a quiet confirmation, grinning at a toddler that stormed on by, “You left an impression.”

I had to chuckle at that. “I’ve heard that a few too many times before.”

He smiled. 

We shared a comfortable silence then, letting the rush of the hospital fill the empty space between us. I fiddled with the wool of my cardigan.

“You know,” I started out quietly, thinking the words over before I let my tongue taste them, “When we first met, I thought you wanted to steal that chair.”

Alvaro’s expression turned to one of bemusement and I cracked another unavoidable smile.

“Not steal, steal. Just, the restaurant was busy, I thought you might’ve wanted the chair for another table. You know?”

He chuckled and dipped his head in an agreeable nod, glancing up at me with a coy smile. 

“But instead you just sat down.” I giggled, the absurdity of it still amused me even now. “You just sat down and you sort of… made me believe in people again. Is that weird?”

Alvaro looked back at me, eyes focused, sharp now, but still warm. He didn’t laugh me off or make me feel stupid, instead he took a small breath and shifted in his seat to better face me. “No. I don’t think it’s weird. It’s like how I didn’t know that me sitting down with you would lead to us talking for as long as we did. About the books we shared and the love of all things food.” He gifted me an affectionate smile. “Sometimes the universe, it just gives us what we need in the moment we need it most.”

“And did you need it?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, and I almost regretted it when I watched the way his expression turned graver, how he begun to toy with his thumbs. 

“It was my first day back.” I frowned at his vague reply, confused for a second, but he soon continued on, “I, I lost my mother, a few weeks before we first met, and I took some time off to…”

“Grieve.”

He nodded at me, smile small but there. “Yes. Sitting with you in that little bistro, it was the first time I spoke about her without breaking down. It felt like she was still there, you know? But not waiting for me to come home anymore, instead she was just all around.”

I did know. I knew that feeling very well. 

“That day, I was supposed to be on a twelve hour shift. I was, how do you say? Not looking forward to it.” We shared a mirthful smile. “Then I saw you and, I don’t know, you captivated me.”

I glanced away, almost embarrassed. Bashful. That was not something I’d heard before. 

Alvaro chuckled, but not unkindly. “You were alone, like me. I think I saw a likeness there. We were of the same.”

My first thought was that I couldn’t picture him sad. That it felt strange to even imagine. And I couldn’t even comprehend that this person sat beside me, so full of life, so open, could hurt the same. How he stayed so positive through it all. 

“If it had been anyone else, I don’t think I could have done it.”

“What, sat down?” I questioned, looking back at him now. He nodded his head.

“I just didn’t think about it. One second I was on the street looking in, and then…” he shrugged.

I let that sink in.

A truth for a truth? Was that the way of the world, or was that just ours? George and I’s. Or, maybe just mine now.

“Matty- you remember him? Crazy curls, big grin?” I said and Alvaro nodded again, laughing quietly whilst I smiled. “Well, he was the one to surprise me with this trip. I’d been… I’d been going through a lot. This past year, it’s been hard. Harder than I expected, to be honest. I sort of felt like I’d lost everything and had been forced to start over again.”

Alvaro blinked, casting his eyes down to the tiled floor then back up at me again, as though he was contemplating his words. “This has something to do with your other friend? The one who was here.”

It wasn’t really a question though. It was something he was certain of, but unsure on whether to bring up. I swallowed and dipped my chin in reply.

“He- We were together for a long time.” I revealed, voice soft, almost getting swept up in the hustle and bustle of the crowd which surrounded us. “We ended- well, really he, ended things rather abruptly. I, I just didn’t see it coming, you know? One second everything was fine, I was happy. I thought he was too. And then. Then he was gone and I was on my own again.”

I had to take a deep breath, calm the emotional storm welling inside of my chest. It still felt like it’d happened only yesterday. 

“I’d never really pictured life without him. From the minute we met there was just something about him. He had my heart before he ever even asked for it.” I went on, gaze locked on the cardigan I continued to cling onto like a lifeline. “I was on my own before. I had people. Friends. But never someone like him. I knew everything about him, and him me. Everyone thought we were it. The type that would hold out. But then I was stuck, he’d dropped me and I was just stuck wondering what I’d done wrong. He broke my heart, he broke me. And everything that followed…” I chuckled hollowly, defeated, “My life just fell apart after. I lost our flat, my job. The friends we shared. He was my entire world. And then he was gone.”

Alvaro’s hand reached out to carefully take mine, he unfisted it from the tight hold I had on my cardigan. I was crying then I realised, but not really. Muted tears that rolled down the bones of my cheeks. His palm fell onto the back of my hand and his fingers linked between mine effortlessly. My eyes slipped closed.

I heard him inhale beside me before he finally spoke again, quieter than I’d ever heard him before.

“When he arrived here, after you were admitted, I was sat in the ward. I didn’t know who he was or that he was here for you- God, I didn’t even know you were here.” He chuckled lowly, thinking back to it, “But he was panicked. The nurses were surprised, and I was too. But you often see people so full of fear in hospitals. The not knowing is hard, for everyone. I think he had a bag slung over his shoulder and he looked tired, but mostly just scared. I only remember because I was the one who spoke to him, whilst one of the on-call nurses tried to find any information to give him. He didn’t say a single word, but he looked… he looked haunted. Like a man who had a gun to his head. And it worried even me- this man, not much younger than myself, stood there in front of me just begging to be told something good. Silently praying for it. As though he would drop down dead there otherwise.”

I kept my eyes closed, lips pinched to keep from outright sobbing at his words. 

“I think the nurse said something because I remember looking over to her, and he must have heard first or seen something I hadn’t because he was gone in the next second. I tried to go after him but,” He stilled and then shrugged a single shoulder, “I had patients to look after, staff waiting for scans and test results. I only saw him again that same morning you were released. He wouldn’t look me in the eye, but I knew it then. That you were also the same, both so stubborn. You were upset with him and I didn’t know why, but you kept on stealing glances. I remember seeing you, too scared to look away and not find him still there, whilst acting as though you didn’t care whether he stayed or he left.”

A muffled, broken sob spurted from me at that and he cradled an arm around me to pull me in closer. I cried into his shoulder, not sparing a second thought to those around us.

“Sometimes the people we love they hurt us. Sometimes they leave. But often times they hurt too. So much that they can’t help the pain that spills out of them and onto us. I think,” Alvaro paused and I felt him tighten his hold on my hand a fraction, “I think you need to talk to him, corazón. Maybe then you’ll find some relief. Some happiness.”

I gulped down whatever lump had risen with my tears and pressed my lips tightly together before finally pulling away. I must’ve looked an absolute state and I heard how hoarse my voice sounded when I went to apologise for it, “I, I’m so sorry, Alvaro. I don’t know what came over me, why I even turned up here.” I sniffed, feeling so silly, but he merely smiled in turn, his hand still in mine.

“There’s no need for sorry’s, I’m glad that you came.” He assured me and I chuckled self-depreciatingly.

“What, even after I cried all over your shoulder?”

He laughed sweetly, “Even after you cried all over my shoulder.”

I smiled and wiped the tears from under my eyes, still feeling so emotional. “I am sorry though, for just turning up and disrupting your day.”

Alvaro shook his head, “It was a highlight, I promise!” 

I couldn’t help but blow out a soft chuckle as we both stood. He squeezed my hand once more before he dropped it and I stepped froward to wrap him up in a hug, beyond thankful for his presence. For the advice he’d given me.

“Make sure you stop in again before you leave, okay? Your friends too.” He murmured over my head and I smiled up at him and agreed. 

“Promise.”

“Good, good. And this man of yours, make sure you tell him everything, si?” Alvaro added, stepping away again. “Even if it hurts, because to hurt means to grieve. It’ll help.”

My head tilted to one side as my smile broadened. “How did you become so wise? Is it a doctor thing?” I was teasing but only just, he merely had a way with words it seemed.

“My abuelita.” He replied with a sheen to his eyes, smiling all the while. “There was nothing she could not fix.”

I stared up at him, cardigan now falling limp beside me. “And what would she say to me? To fix this.”

With a chuckle Alvaro spoke, not even needing to think about it. “Tardé una hora en conocerte y solo un día en enamorarme. Pero me llevará toda una vida lograr olvidarte.” He smiled at me softly, “It was something she often said to my agüelo whenever they squabbled.”

It took me an hour to meet you and only a day to fall in love. But it will take me a lifetime to forget you.

It was beautiful.

And I told him so around a grateful smile. 

Part Twenty-six>

[twothpaste]

I saw this post you made https://www.tumblr.com/twothpaste/748684553658515456?source=share and it reminded me of your Intermission AU fic, Hatchback, where the Chosen 4 are basically on a road trip! IIRC there's a flash forward to the future where Paula is a teacher, and she's called "Mrs. Jones" that would imply she's married. Who's she married to? And what happened with her family after she pursued education, especially considering how her mother was heavily against it? And how are the rest of the Intermission AU cast doing in the future?

Aw jeez, that's a lot of big questions! How 'bout I be a little silly and answer them in reverse order 🤸‍♂️

Future Lucas & Claus do wildlife rehab work together. If I think too hard about them tending gently to sick baby deer & mending birds with busted wings, I get teary-eyed sappy and have to sit down. Kuma refuses to settle into any particular career, genuinely happier hopping between employment and doing odd jobs she calls "freelance work". She marries a lady named Ash - based on a kinda communal headcanon about Kuma dating one of the Tittiboo waitresses - I swear I'll draw her someday. Duster becomes increasingly eccentric over time, a gracelessly aging Z-list rockstar.

Future Ness is a civil engineer, doing his small part to try and make suburbia a less hellish place to live, for his boring little family & everyone else besides. Paula starts her teaching career as a college adjunct, intending to work her way toward tenure, but derails into teaching high school for a while due to some circumstance or other. Though teaching niche college courses was always her dream, she unexpectedly realizes there's a lot of good she can do for high school kids, so she sticks with it much longer than she'd planned. By the time she does eventually get back around to becoming a college professor, she's probably in her 40's or 50's. Jeff designs rockets & satellites for the European Space Agency, while Tony jogs their jack russell terrier 5 miles a day and engages in cartoonishly daring news reporting work. Poo goes on wild anthropological surveys all around the world, and never gets into politics (much to his family's immense displeasure, but they can deal).

Future Porky probably never gets better ❤️. Picky comes out as a trans woman in her mid 20s. Tracy supports her all the way. Flint and Lighter are off having an Old Men With Pickup Trucks Slow Burn Friends To Lovers Redneck Romance in their 60s, but I'll never write it, so you'll have to fill in the blanks yourself.

I have not resolved the Paula's Mom Plotline in my head yet. As much as I'd like for her mom to chill the fuck out and let Paula be Paula, I think the hard lesson of coming to terms with a parent's faults is probably more the direction it's headed in. There's also the mess of like? Her dad supports his daughter despite everything, but he's too spineless to challenge his wife over it, and he's also dealing with some kinda debilitating illness?? The conflict might come to a head during her senior year. I've got a Paula fic idea floating around on my backburner, so I'll probably sort it out sooner than later. Regardless, our gal's gonna set firm boundaries and live her life.

As for "who is Paula married to," there is actually a possible or probable answer. The catch is: absolutely none of y'all are gonna like it ☺️. As some of you may have gathered, my funny Mother College AU is very and truly crossed over with [ my Dana's ] funny Yugioh College AU. The amount of interconnected nonsense going on offscreen would make your head spin, and this happens to be one of our silliest interconnected nonsenses.

There's this kid from Zexal named Dumon, he's canonically a tragic historical figure and a horse enthusiast and also an alien for a while, don't worry about it. Dana's college Dumon is a nerdy little butch lesbian (I mean, [ look at him ]), who - like Paula - also spends about 90% of his time at the campus library. It started as a joke <- fatal last words. They share a love of pretentious literary analysis and medieval history and quiet noontime study sessions spent over expensive lattes. Dumon's still a bit shy of her noisy bunch o' D&D friends, but maybe they'll break the ice one of these days. Paula's mom keeps forgetting his name. Paula keeps having to firmly remind her he's from Utah, not Arkansas. And that yes lesbians can use he/him pronouns, they've been doing it for decades, gosh Mom can you get with the program already.

Anyways, if things keep going the direction they're headed, my Paula might very well be marrying a Yugioh character. Thanks for asking, anon! ^_^

[woodenpicador]

got an interesting pair of anons on CuriousCat that I posted on Twitter so I thought it would be worth posting here (h/t @sappy-sappho for the idea to cross-post)

reminder that shauna, nat, jackie, and lottie are all canonically straight!

are they? i think we can say that shauna, nat, and jackie have canonically had intimate relationships with men, though i would argue that the show portrays those relationships in ways that intend the audience to question their motivations and desires in those moments. Lottie has kissed Travis while tripping balls but I am very hesitant to ascribe anything about genuine desire to that. I wonder whether canon/non-canon may have outlived its usefulness as a distinction: text, subtext, or metatext feels like a more interesting framework to examine media

shauna stole jackie’s boyfriend married him and had a kid. lottie tried to hook up with nats boyfriend. the key word is boy. shauna also wanted to fuck travis and her daughters boyfriend. she had a whole affair with a man. nat was in love with kevin. they’re all straight. u know u can ship characters without making up lies right? the only lesbians on the show are van and tai! u don’t need to include straight girls in lesbianism.

you raise a lot of points and I’m going to try to address them all. starting with the accounting of plot: so I don’t think these are INVALID reads of textual events necessarily—though Nat being in love with Kevyn is an interpretation of the text and not indisputable in the text itself and I really would not describe Lottie in Doomcoming as trying to hook up with Travis—but I don’t think they bear as neatly on “are these characters straight” as you present here and in fact complicate it more. I’m not here to police identities but I don’t think any of this actually precludes any of these characters from being lesbians, whether closeted or in denial or unsure or simply not knowing at the time at which these events occur. people discover themselves on different trajectories, and people do things they don’t want to do all the time (Shauna even specifically says she had Callie to save a marriage that she “got into out of guilt and shame”). the question is and remains: are these characters acting on an attraction to men or are they acting on something else? the nature of the medium makes these questions largely unanswerable in a strict “canon” sense. no character states their identity on any axis with particularized clarity, it can only be inferred and interpreted from text, subtext, and metatext. which, for instance, is how we know that tai and van are lesbians, even though neither of them outright says “I’m a lesbian.”

which brings me to what I think is the more critical point here: you’ve positioned lesbianism and straightness as a binary option, “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” - which I think neglects the different forms identity and attraction can take. Shauna, who shows attraction to men in 1996 only when they are marked by Jackie and in 2021 only when that attraction is abstract versus the concrete article, transgresses against the roles of wife and mother that she has constructed to imprison her for the duration of her life sentence, may be a closeted or in-denial lesbian or she may simply be bisexual. Nat may be (I would argue is) bisexual. at no point did I represent that they’re lesbians, but I wouldn’t reject an interpretation that they are. But bisexuality isn’t “including straight girls in lesbianism” and having had sex with men does not forever exclude you from a lesbian identity by simple fact of having done it. Jackie, whose attraction to men is so tied up in layers of performance, I would argue is clearly written as a lesbian even if you don’t buy the “Shauna and Jackie are in love with each other” formulation. but these are interpretations, no more right than anyone else’s—and no more wrong, either.

but I am a fic writer first and foremost, so no, I cannot ship two characters without telling lies upon lies. it’s fiction, none of it is “true” in the factual sense, but if it is successful, whether fan work or canon, it is true in the emotional sense

[alpineshift]

OMG MYL!!!! The camping fic I’m?!

I have a lot of thoughts and I will be dropping them all right here so enjoy my ramblings.

The outdoorsy-ness of all the scenes, I am in love like Jack is in love with that clear, light pollution free, night sky.

But Nico had wanted to try camping together. Mister Nature himself, so eager and so keen on the idea of sleeping in a tent and renting out kayaks and going stargazing on a picnic blanket in the woods, had gazed at Jack with so much hope in those big sparkly princess eyes of his. And Jack had folded faster than a stack of cards, never in the habit of saying no to his boyfriend.

Yess yes YES! Because I know how we always say Nico can’t say no to Jack and his puppy eyes but also, the other way around it’s 100% true.

“It’s so big,” Jack settles on. “And like, really fuckin’ quiet, Hisch. If I scream, do you think anyone will hear?”

“Our neighbours down the road probably will,” Nico says, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe don’t let them think I’m murdering you or something, yeah?”

“No promises,” Jack jokes, and hops out of the car.

Loooove this

“Then our tent is going to be lopsided and your eye is going to start twitching because it’s not symmetrical.”

YES. Jack-who has all of his 25 pair of identical white Nike Air Forces perfectly lined up beside each other on the shoe rack-Hughes.

“I’m justifiably annoyed at this shit design. I could set this whole thing up no problem if it were better.”

“I believe you,” Nico says, reassuringly

This is sooo nicojack to me like Jack being annoyed and trying to sort of still defend his honour and Nico just indulging him like of course he could, it’s not him it’s totally just the tent. He isn’t incapable.

And because he’s Nico—he’s smart and perfect and competent in every way, they end up putting the tarp up and over the tent in a matter of minutes.

Sweet, prefect Nico 🥹

Nico ruffles his hair, utilizing the unhelpful extra three inches he has on Jack to be a menace. (He does drop a kiss on Jack’s forehead though, so he’s an adorable menace instead.)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

True to form and his Hischier genetics (Jack has watched all three siblings pass out on the couch during a summertime nap hour with almost terrifying synchrony), Nico doesn’t even react.

I support this Nico headcanon sooo hard!!! He’s grumpy in the mornings and a deep sleeper and yes he occasionally snores.

“We’re not playing a game, babe. I have to fucking pee and it’s dark outside and it’s freaky as hell. Come with me.”

Nico squints at him. “Go find a bush then…?”

Jack sputters. “I am not just peeing in the bushes like a goddamn animal, Hisch.”

Yesss we talked about this part, love it!

Nico pouts at him, full sad-eyes and wobbly lower lip. If he were a puppy, his tail and ears would be drooping.

SAD COW EYES NICO YES

Also the way he offers for Jack to pick what they’re going to do that day to make amends and Jack knowing it’s a big deal because he knows Nico was so excited to go onto that trail. THEM.

“I can make it,” Jack says at once, because if there’s one thing he hates more than cardio it’s the notion that he can’t do it.

10000%!!! No notes on that

Thank you for gracing the world with this beautiful Nicojack camping trip fic as an extension of that ask answer you already wrote so perfectly. I looove it and I know I will be rereading this so many times. Bestest gift 🥹

this is how I am!!! after your message!!! I am melting aaaaa you are too too sweet 🥹🥹🥹 the brainstorming sesh was so much fun for me, I hope I managed to capture a nice camping experience overall hehe.

everyone needs a Nico in their life to camp with, imo. jack's just luckier than the rest of us lololol

these two have been so married lately I think it's making me feel extra sappy writing them. just so fond of each other!!

thank you so much for reading!! and this incredible feedback, I'm v lucky I got to chat so much with you about fics. I'm going to be the one going back to re-read your msg ehe 🩵🩵🩵

[voidwritesstuff]

Long Way To The Truth

->cw: angst,mentions of ptsd, your usual Lucas stuff.

->chapter three: Arkansas pt2// Oklahoma.

->reblogs over likes.

A little weirded out,he packs up his stuff and leaves. The road before him its still pretty wet,so he drives slowly and taking Wheelers advice.

He could afford to take the day slow,to relax,just this once.

Most of the trip across Arkansans is pretty calm, just towns and towns. Some nice people,some mildly annoying ones,but its as normal as his trip could get.

The most interesting thing he had during the trip was while he was taking a break from Driving. The heat is not that bad at that moment, hes sitting on the floor of his van with a guitar in hand.

Said guitar wasnt his,it was Wheeler's. He was going to be their band's guitarist,it did go to wheeler's head for a few days, and he was a goddamn menace about It. He spent days bragging about how he would get all the chicks and leave the others with none. (To which Lucas would reply that the jokes on him because Lucas himself is Bisexual).

Regardless, he sits on the floor of the van,leaning Back on some of his bags and boxes and he starts to strum what few chords he remembers.

The strumming continues for a bit as his thoughts swirl to the beat of the song. Hes composed a few of songs before,kept them all to himself.

But around him theres not that Many people only the passing cars of the road, no-one is paying attention to him.

So,it Beggins in a humm,tuning his voice to the chords. He takes a deep breath and...

--See me and the boys

We got plans for what comes later

After the war

Got names for a band

And jobs for each other-- he sings,looking at his Journal,Open beside him where he has a picture of him and his Friends.

He was the youngest of his team, the platoon's Child that Wheeler fawned over like a mother hen. Even if his captain denied any favoritism, it was clear as day that if anything happened to Lucas,Alphonso wouldve totally commited a few war crimes.

--so,do you have any children?-- Lucas asked Alphonso once while they Ate lunch.-- you seem like ya do

--Nah,me n my Lady are waitin' for me to come back home to try. Ion wanna lose my baby's first steps or words. --Wheeler answered, eating a bite from his food-- but honestly I think at this Point we might as well adopt you

Lucas chuckles,a little embarassed but moved, he clears his throat trying to play it off-- c'mon Man,dont Rob me of the experience of being the cool uncle

--Fine fine I wont. On one condition-- his captains eyes had that look in his face, that mischevious glint that meant that he was going to thoroughly embarass him by being cheesy and sappy-- I get to be your best Man when you get married

The younger Man nodded-- deal,you better not embarass me infront of my future spouse though

--Cant make any promises,kiddo-- Alphonso replied with a teasing smirk.

God,those were the days.

--It feel really good, whoa

I'm crashing, I'm crashing down

Everyone's crashing

But as long as we're together-- he keeps singing, the memory sitting like a weight on his chest.

Maybe after this,he should check on Wheeler's wife,she was in a retirement home in Tennesee, he visited her during the anniversary of Wheeler's death and during the holidays,hes taken her to some of his family gatherings before.

To this day,she maintains that hes the son she and Alphonso never had, Hence why he has Wheeler's guitar and some of his memorabilia.

Anger,regret, sadness and grief pour from his voice as he sings each word,a little shaky and weak--Ooh, and the drummer plays

A beat too long and the whole damn song

Starts to fall apart

Ooh, by show of hands

The group disbands, and they won't be back

By popular demand 

"Im with you,every step of the way. Keep going,kid"

Those words echo in his mind, and it almost feels like Wheeler is showing him New chords he didnt know with the way that his fingers press down on different parts of the guitar's neck. They just sort of come to him.

Its like he can almost hear him say "Like this- no youre doing it wrong,that finger goes here. Atta boy"

--Believe it now, believe it then

As long as you believe it when

It comes knocking, it comes knocking for your friends

Between the times we used to spend

And now the feeling never bends

I noticed and I notice it again-- he sings,pouring his feelings into the dragging of the words. The strumming becomes a lot more fluid,Like an actual song hes played over,and over again.

He even gets a small Disney princess moment because a few of the critters like birds and squirrels get closer to him to hear what hes playing

But putting his feelings into words is really good for his anguish,it makes him feel a lot lighter and at ease with that constant maelstorm of unresolved issues. He eventually does put away the guitar and grabs his Journal,as much as it stings him je writes down a little item that says "get a therapist ( a good one)".

The only reason hes considering seeing a therapist again is because of Wheeler, he needs to take the reigns of his mental health somehow. The worlds huge,this country was huge, there has to be at least one therapist that Will hear him out.

Right after that,he resumes his Driving. And by nightfall hes already in Oklahoma,which does help him quite a bit with his anxiety.

During the night, he found himself a nice parkinglot to park,a little in the shadows of the streelights. Hes currently writing down on his Journal before going to bed.

"Diary entry #200.

Already in Oklahoma,im so sick of Driving so much. Theres still a few days until I reach Milton-Haven, but I also find myself enjoying the trip, havent been outside for this long in a good while.

It feels just like the hunting road trips me and my dad would do every year when I was a kid.

I think im going to find a room for the night tonight, despite the fact that I might need to sleep on the floor. But it would be great to not half freeze my ass for one night.

Regardless, heres my to do list for when I get to MH.

•find a place to stay.

•find a job (prefferably a quiet sort of job)

•research about Mayer and possible facilities they May own. (Visit town hall)

•find documents about AR.

• find a therapist (A good one)."

After that,he closes the Journal and goes to bed. Lately,as hes been able to think about his past and process it, hes had less run Ins with bad dreams and his PTSD related. He low key hates how actually confronting his emotions helps.

But regardless of that,his sleep goes uninterrupted, and Next morning he continued his trip after getting breakfast.

Nothing of note happens thruought the day. The night however does bring Lucas something interesting, as he entered the bar, he noted the stage was getting ready for a performance.

And as he eats dinner he can hear the supposed band members argue over him

--Goddamnit,He cancelled?--A guy asked,sounding exhasperated.

--Its the third time this week!-- a girl added-- explain to me where are we getting a damn drummer now?!

--We cant cancell this gig- I cant afford it-- another guy says.

Lucas sighs,scratching the back of his neck. Was he really going to do this? He could just nope out,not his circus not his monkeys. It would be exposing himself to a large crowd,there could be some goverment agent in there and-.

--I dont get why we even made this band in the first place! -- the girl said-- stupid fucking- I cant fucking belive it. Its a waste of damn time

Fine,fuck,guess hes doing this.

After he eats dinner,he goes to talk with the band. Telling them who he is and that hes good at drums,and in their desesparation the band accepts.

--Im isabell--says the girl-- im the vocalist of the Group, this is Leon, hes the bassist and this is Jay the guitarrist.

Lucas wouldve Flinched if he heard that a few days ago,but for some reason now hes a lot more at ease when the memory of Alphonso pops out.

--Nice to make yer acquaintance, what song are yall playin'?

Isabell scratches the back of her neck-- we're uh playing the Trooper by iron maiden

A smile appears on the face of the ex soldier-- neat,I know the chords to that song. I really like it actually

--Oh thank god-- the main singer exclaims-- de can go fix up the Seat for you n all, we gotta get ready anyway

--Sounds great, lets do it then

Lucas cant help but look at the main three of the band as they get ready and tune their instruments. He can tell theyve been Friends for a while because of the way they interact, he smiles fondly at the sight,wondering if him and his Friends wouldve been the same way if they ever did manage to form that band that they wanted to form.

Before the show,Isabell seems a little anxious as she warms up her voice, It makes him feel for her as she sits on the steps to the stage as she looks down with this fearful look in her eyes. on a whim he decided to sit with her and talk, see if he could help.

--Hey, whats up?-- he asked,putting a hand on her shoulder.

--Ah nothing- stage Fright. I always get it before every show- theres a lotta people in here and it makes me nervous-- she explains, passing her hands across her face-- the owner said that if we do good tonight, we'll become The Band of the bar. Its huge for us you know?

He nodds-- yeah I get that, seems quite daunting-- his hands reach to Grab the dog tags hidden underneath his flannel-- but yknow after a lifetime of well, war, i-ive realized something. No matter how scared you are- its better to just- just do it rather than running away

--How did you deal with the Fear?--She asked,eyes setting on the dogtags. She seems a little distracted from her anguish.

--beside just doing the damn thing even if I was shittin' myself internally?-- he asked, and at that she laughed and nodded-- had really good Friends-- he nodds towards her bandmates-- for..-for me it was my captain -- he takes a deep breath as he considers what hes about to do-- for you? Its leon and Jay, im a pretty observant guy and ive seen the way yall act together. Im sure those boys would follow you to the ends of the earth if you just asked. So dont be afraid to reach out- here,gimme your hand

A little curious and quite moved,she offers his hand as he takes off his dogtags and places them on her palm-- hopefully this helps, I have one of the tags of my captain on that chain. And since yer singing The Trooper, its only appropiate you have something army related.

Isabell smiles,putting on the dogtags. The weight of the metal is oddly soothing-- Thanks, Lucas.

He smiles and pats their back-- s'nuthin.-- he stands up and dusts himself off-- c'mon kid,lets get the show started -- he helps her up and smiles reassuringly.

Soon,the show starts. Lucas hits the drumsticks together, marking the beat of the song before he starts playing,leon and Jay join in and so the instrumental begins.

The vocalist presses her hand against the dogtags as she gets ready to sing, she feels the warm metal against her palm, takes a deep breath and looking upon the semi crowded room begins singing.

--You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too

You'll fire your musket, but I'll run you through

So when you're waiting for the next attack

You'd better stand, there's no turning back-- and damn, shes quite good at it. She follows along to the melody with no issue, her voice doesnt break or falter as the lyrics flow in the air like mist.

Lucas gets a smile on his face that grows bigger and bigger as the Group gets more and more into the song.

And he cant help but laugh internally at how impressed the crowd looks at the performance of the band. One dude looks particularly impressed, and he wonders If thats the owner of the gig.

--The horse, he sweats with fear, we break to run

The mighty roar of the Russian guns

And as we race towards the human wall

The screams of pain as my comrades fall-- isabell has put her soul into her singing, as if a siren was the vocalist of a metal band.

Theres a catharsis in the way theyre playing the song, especially for Lucas who can relate more than most to the lyrics. He doesnt hold back either and he plays as if nobody is watching, all he can hope for is that he doesnt break the drum set.

By the end of the show the crowd is a mess of cheering and screaming, Jay and Leon pick up their vocalist friend and sort of throws her up to then catch it again.

Isabell is all smiles as she talks to a man afterwards, the one he correctly guessed to be the owner.

In that moment he gets ready to leave, but as he makes his way to the van, the band stops him.

--Lucas hold on!--says Leon, running up to him.

--Hey yall, whats up?--He asked.

--Two things-- the vocalist girl says,outta breath, taking off the dogtags-- these and-

--You wanna be part of our band?--Jay asked Straight up,gaining a glare from his friends-- what?! You two were going to make a whole fanfarre over it. So id rather just ask

Lucas shifts his gaze between the three of them,pretty amused. He puts on his dogtags and answers-- ah im sorry,I cant. Im on a sort of moving to Washington,gonna visit an old friend while im at it and 'm already runnin' late.

--Shame-- Isabell answered, a little dissappinted-- but-but thank you,you literally saved us-

--S'nuth--the ex soldier doesnt finish his phrase before Isabell gives him a big tight hug. He hugs back a little confused but endeared.

--This band has been her dream-- leon explains once the girl pulls back from the embrace-- means a lot to her- to us. Even if we dont have any names for our band yet

--Well see that I can help with-- Lucas said with a smirk-- yall remind me of me and my war buddies, we talked about a band once and we wanted to call ourselves "the ragtags" 'cuz we came from all 'round the US. Since that bands never happening,i leave it up to yall youngsters to Carry the torch for me- us

The three look at eachother and nodd enthusiastically-- Will do,take care dude-- says leon,shaking Lucas' hand, so does Jay.

--You too,all of you -- he replied,to then adress isabell and say-- and you have one hell of a voice, by the way.

In that instant,isabell goes red as a tomato, to which Jay rolls his eyes a little. -- a uhm thanks, hey do you uhm m-

Jay and leon Grab their friend and slowly drags her away, she kicks and complains trying to get out of their grasp. --YOU ASSHOLES I WAS GONNA ASK FOR HIS NUMBER.

--Leave the guy alone!--Leon Shouts.

--HES GODDAMN CUTE. --isabell yells back.

Jay looks thoroughly embarassed and exclaims a quick-- SORRY--at Lucas before dragging her into the bar.

Lucas stands there mistified, a little flustered. --Yep,still got it-- he mutters with a smirk before grabbing his keys and getting into his van to drive to a motel nearby.

[fff777]

Stumbled upon this video of Got7 going to Jeju Island that I'd never seen before

Jinyoung breaking the illusion: Well there are cameras so it isn't technically a vacation ^^;;

Jackson: Paragliding without the parachute!

Bambam & Youngjae: I'm on a boat!!!!

I think Jackson dropped something on the floor? But why does Jinyoung have to hold his head like that.

Mark got voluntold to drive but he was like "...I think I'd get lost :<"

Jinyoung: Our goal is to make money so let's just buy stuff and the mark it up Evil capitalism man

Yugyeom just suggesting what he wants to eat and everyone including the video editors making fun of his childish tastes. I'm with you Yugyeom, I also have the taste buds of a child T_T

I am one of those people who like ice cream in winter so Jackson is not wrong. I also like ice cream in all seasons.

Jackson's names for the food truck are just variations of got, seven, and truck

Jaebeom's simple food truck name an instant flop

Mark's certainly feeling hyper for the trip :3 He's so chatty.

Mark too is a bunk bed enthusiast :3

After Jinyoung put on his perfume/cologne Yugyeom said he smelled like Yugyeom's dad

Mark thinking about the absolute worst case scenarios like the staff abandoning them and taking their luggage away when they get to Jeju

Road trip!!

Got7 surprisingly competent at making eggs. I mean, Yugyeom's egg was not as bad as Mark Lee's from NCT lol.

Look at how many people are there filming...

I'm getting sappy but busy kitchens are cozy to me :3

They are all decent cooks eh? :3 Or does the food just look good because I'm hungry right now haha.

Crab in soup noodles sounds so good

Bambam trusts Jackson's dishwashing but not Yugyeom's. Baby syndrome.

Mark found a perfectly good seat on Jinyoung's lap.

Jinyoung suggested doing the group chant before they went off and everyone was like that's so cheesy! Old man tastes lol.

The guys laughing at Mark and Jackson discussing what the bug is, in the mix of their Korean and English

Mark dolphin scream and Markson freestyle rap

Mark and Jackson getting distracted by pajamas at the store

Aw they ended up buying a pair of pajamas for each member.

The food truck is cute :3

They're borrowing someone's food truck so they can't get rid of the stuff that's already there because the owner will need it again later. So they'll just have to cover things up.

Jaebeom saw the pajama pants and Mark explained it to him and Jaebeom just sighed lol

Yugyeom can't handle spicy food. Taste buds of a child, like me.

Jackson getting kicked by Yugyeom for his failed aegyo

Bambam said that painting reminded him of kindergarten :3

Bambam helped his mom with her restaurant a year before debut <3

This is so cozy, Got7 have such good teamwork. I think I'm used to newer variety content that focuses on games and the funnies. These guys are really taking the food truck seriously and it's nice watching them help each other <3 There was shenanigans with the grocery team but the decorating team was working quietly on the signs. And then now they're testing the recipes and evaluating and making them better together <3

Mark took home economics in high school :P

Filming crew forced to try all of the cup rices XD

Jaebeom first being saved by Yugyeom because he had scissors and everyone else had rock but Yugyeom had paper.

Jaebeom so moved that he doesn't have to do the dishes XD

Yugyeom and Jaebeom super hyper for pre-sleep karaoke XD Believe it or not, they're sober XD

Jackson got out of bed and then tucked in Yugyeom uwu

Jaebeom was already up and watching a show on TV called "Uncovering the truth." I looked it up and it seems to be a documentary show about 'social issues, mysterious happenings, and unsolved crimes.'

Jackson wanted to surprise the members with breakfast :3

Wang Gae Park Gae with MarkBam asleep in the back

Jaebeom high pitched shrieking when the oil pops in the pan :P

Jaebeom, as he's cooking the nth batch of kimchi: I'm not going to cook for weeks

Bambam the artist drawing a poster with markers :3

Jackson: I'm still at a stage where driving is fun Joke's on me, driving was never fun for me T_T

AmeriThaiKong car talking in Konglish

Youngjae kidnapped Jinyoung into dancing with him on the street

Aw, they're nervous about whether the food truck will do well

I'm not sure what the certificate of sanitation signifies ^^;;

There's barely anyone in the park so they posted to social media ^^;;

Smell of failure is the joke of the day

Jackson accidentally promoting to the food truck owner

Jackson kind of peer pressured the first customer to their food truck lol

I think a lot of fans would have gone to the area after seeing social media

Youngjae's tuna mayo rice is very popular :3

Jinyoung is the money man

Aw Mark took a pic with a group of friends and one of the guys high fived him haha. They just became bros.

That guy also high fived Yugyeom haha. I think he just wanted to high five all of the guys :3 I think Got7 would be so approachable though :3

Tuna mayo is sold out!

Jinyoung was getting very managerial since it was getting crowded and hectic and people needed to be able to line up properly.

Ham sold out

RICE sold out XD

Egg sold out

Jinyoung the manager of Mark thirst traps

Third day will be for playing :3

Jaebeom said that he would just rest at home if the guys went go-karting and Jinyoung said all or nothing!!

And then Mark said "I won't go if Jaebeom doesn't go" T_T

Got7 videos were playing at the bowling alley when they first got there :P

What is this fluorescent glow in the dark disco bowling alley lol

Tangerines for days

Nooo they forgot the pajama pants in the car so we didn't even get to see them with their funky pajama pants on

Jaebeom and Jinyoung the soulmates :3

Jaebeom and Youngjae and their taxi driver roleplay :P

Kitty :3

Mark didn't jump into the cold water pool, he let himself fall in XD

Jaebeom always distracted by cats

JB, a butler

Photographer JB :3

Loser X3 He noted that the menu was expensive and after looking around he was like "hey guys...should we go somewhere else?"

Jackson announcing that he's going to go out for ice cream again (after finishing his grilled ham/spam) and being like "let's go Yugyeom!" and Yugyeom's like "I won't go!" In the end, Jackson went by himself.

NO JACKSON DROPPED THE ICE CREAM

Jinyoung patting Jackson's head

Ah this was such a fun little show. It was more down to earth than I expected. I loved seeing the guys take the food truck seriously. It was fun seeing these guys actually get down and cook. There were funnies but it was just Jackson causing a ruckus and otherwise very silly jokes that all of the guys are in on :P It's always been clear that they're very good friends and I love that for them :3

[aestheticvoyage2023]

Day 210: Saturday July 29, 2023 - "The 210"

"Certain things among the shadows of a man's life, don't need to be remembered. -they remember themselves." Or was it me all along, choosing to bring it back up. The 210th day of the calendar year is always a marker of that year's growth; a tip of the hat to the past in a way that served me well in those first few years out of STL. And year over year, tracked here for posterity, Ive tipped that hat by trying to find something beautiful or meaningful, to find the good and the hope in the road ahead. A reminder to let the past be the past. I needed that for a long time, when I was lost out there, learning to be my own navigator. Its an amazing thing, that in this experiment of human experience, your favorite person can have turned out to be such a life lesson. A day on the calendar that I can touch each year as a momento of what I'd come through, and how I learned to be self-reliant, independent, confident, and creative. I am proud of the man I became. I continue to seek ways to keep evolving. The 210th day is a reminder of the importance of honoring every day with intentionality and resilience. Early on, I carried a touchstone in my pocket to remind me of the sea's harsh blows. Ive always felt I needed that day to marinate in and remember.

This late afternoon, after a long day of parenting hard, I strapped my little lion into the car seat and took a drive up the mountain. Id found some simple gifts up here on this day before and nothing is better for reflection than a long sappy windy road with good tunes. At the top, we got fudge at the country store and a new tow truck to play with, then ventured out onto Windy Point together, to play on the rocks and take in the view. Things were perfect. My life in that moment, was perfect. We facetimed in with Mama up from where we had our first kiss and shared our vows, and I just soaked in the love there with my family. And I decided to let all that past go. It took 13 years - and it finally struck me, in this new life, remembering that past, doesn't serve me anymore, and I let it go. The lesson had gotten me to where I needed to be. And while it isn't always pretty, its exactly what I had worked so hard for so long for. I drove back down the mountain changed. Empowered. If I felt a way about anything that happened in my past, it was because I was choosing to make myself feel that way. And I could choose to just let it go. I don't need that ghost driving and motivating me and inspiring to any expectation anymore. I have all the motivation I need holding my hand and looking up at me in front of that same great expanse that his Mama changed my life on. This was always the story. That is the beauty of this experiment in human experience. Just enjoy this now. Be here now. And let all the rest go. For good now.

From now on, the 210th day, will just be another day. Its amazing. Evaporated here in the desert heat.

Song: Zach Bryan - Dark

Quote:

That’s  when  something  opened  like  a windowshade unexpectedly rattling up in a dark  room.  A  sudden  new  cast  of  light.  What  need  for  a  man  to  make  a  trip  to Lookingglass, Oregon, when he’s been seeing his own image across the length of the country? … My skewed vision was that of a man looking at himself by looking at what he looks at.  A  man watching himself:  that was  the simulacrum on the window in the Nevada desert.

Hadn’t I even made a travelling companion  of the  great  poet  of the  ego,  the  one who sings of himself,  who promises to ‘effuse  egotism  and  show  it  underlying  all’, who finds the earth in his own likeness? Money half gone, I’d come up with a bit of epistemological small change. ~ William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

"Whatever you have seen, maybe it is for the good of the people you have seen it" ~Black Elk

[waterforlorn]

day three. october 9th. 9:02am (it's crossed out a bunch of times)

we've been making slow progress with driving. i think nico doesn't like it, but he's too stubborn to tell me and thinks he's got to like .. do it for me cause he's the one taking me out on this ...trip or whatever. i don't mind slow progress, i always enjoyed long drives, i always felt free on the road - always moving with no end in sight. yeah, it's a pretty good feeling actually. i almost forgot how much i enjoyed it.

i'll ask him later if he wants me to drive for a while, but he said he has some place in mind for today, so i'm .. letting him. as for emotions and thoughts. doing pretty well. a little restless, i guess, but what else is new. it's been a bit rough, but i'm holding on. i think nico's helping even though he isn't doing anything specific. but with him i feel .. calmer. it almost feels like i can control the urge.

not forever, though. i can feel it scratching inside me, begging to be released. i'm not giving up, though. not for now, not for a while i hope. i know my resolve is gonna falter at some point, but i hope that by then we'll be away from people so i can't hurt anybody. actually.. right now would be okay. it's just us on this long-ass fucking road for miles. although... i dunno if letting go's gonna fix the issue, never really did that, did it?

i remember that little fuckwad carter in school thinking that his height gave him the right to push other kids around. other kids being me. the little boy who always sat alone and not ONCE got to unpack lunch in school cause my mom never fucking MADE any for me. she didn't even think about it, or what it meant for me in school. cause kids notice these things. a kid coming to school with bruises, no lunch and second-hand clothes? pfffht. fuck her. took me a few weeks to get vengeance on him, but ... yeah, i'd do it again. but the voice never quite shut up, not for long. he had to get stitches when i was done with him. he never dared fucking touching me again.

but the calm lasted for like what? a day? it wasn't even always me looking for trouble. it always found me regardless. kind of a little like now, only that i signed up for it this time. fuck, no idea why i'm thinking about all that shit, or writing it down even. nobody's business but mine.

guess i'm just tired of fighting it. i do miss the army. every. single. day. sure, camp's ... fine and i wouldn't do much different if i got a second chance, but army was simple. do or die. fucking sarge johnson saved my life, i wonder what happened to him. wonder if he ever looked for me to see if i stuck to his program. i did. i am. mostly. i try. i can't just drop a mission mid-way for meditation, or lunch - or training, but i AM trying my best. i don't think nico realizes how bad it's looking inside me. i'm not sure how to tell him.

i suppose part of me is still hoping i won't have to. i also don't want him to feel guilty. it wasn't HIS fault he triggered it. it's my fault for being unable to fucking control myself. which only shows in how i keep hoping one of the cars passing us stops - or for someone to stop us. cops. anybody. how badly i want one of them to challenge me so i can let go. fuck. i've been fine for so long. why the fuck am i so restless lately? nico helps, but i can't rely on him for every minute of the damn day.

ugh anyway. emotions, thoughts. blah.

emotions... i'm annoyed at myself. thoughts? we've left the interstate and nico said we're taking a detour. wonder what he's up to, but he won't say. we're gonna sleep in some motel in minnesota tonight. safe to say i'm curious. no doubt it's gonna be something sappy. but i'm kinda waiting for it.

[jumpedthenfell-13]

Sometimes me and my friends will be having a conversation and we end up talking about something we’ll all do as a group together when we’re older, like a road trip after we all turn 18 or a trip we’ll do one day when we graduate from college. And it’s brought up so casually that it’s painful in such a good way because it reminds me that the last time I had a friend group like this, I never had any plans like that involving them. And I’m not saying we just never talked about it, even really joked about it, I’m saying I never thought of a future with any of them in it, and I didn’t even notice at the time. After all, how could I plan for a future with a group where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, where my supposed closest friend at the time had said insanely hurtful things and said she never wanted to speak to me again, then apologized as if it was something normal only two days later?

But this time, every time I think of what my future will be like, they’re part of it. It’s little things, like some of them visiting the store I’ll own one day while I’m working, or us doing important things for the first time together. And it’s huge things, like taking a big group road trip together or graduating together.

And it catches me off guard, sometimes, because when I think of my future, there’s no longer the looming question of, ‘will they still be there then?’. Sure, I wonder about that sometimes, but that’s mostly because my trust in close friends sticking with me has been absolutely destroyed over the years, but it’s less of an issue than it was before, because, since the start of our friendship, this has felt different. We don’t fight over things, not really. Sometimes there’s the playful arguments, like whether mint chocolate chip ice cream is good or not, but there’s never anything real. It’s so much healthier this time, and at this point I sometimes feel like they’re the only ones who I see a notification from and it absolutely brightens my day.

I think that’s why I was so scared of highschool. I mean, look at what happened last time I spent a long amount of time away from my close friend. Over one summer apart, I realized she was toxic and our friendship was unhealthy, and our bond has never been the same. Hell, I don’t even talk to her anymore. After grad I started ghosting her, and my life has never been better. But that’s off-topic. I was so scared I would lose them because we were going to different high schools. I thought our friendship would be gone within the first two weeks, but here we are, in mid-october, and four of us have plans to go see the eras tour movie this Saturday.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m so grateful for them, and I don’t think they’ll ever know that I am or why. They’ve shown me what a real friendship is, despite how cringy or cliche that might sound. I know they’ll never see this, which is why I’m posting it here, of all places. So I can thank them, and they’ll never know it was ever said. So thank you to my closest friends, who will never find this extremely sappy post.

Thank you to my best friend of six years, who stuck with me when no-one else did. Thank you to my fellow insane swiftie, who has made me laugh harder than anyone else sometimes. Thank you to my bus buddy, who sat through countless conversations and explanations of shows she’d never even heard of. Thank you to our grade 8 grad’s best option for valedictorian, who helped me meet two of my other closest friends. Thank you to my crochet buddy, who makes insanely funny jokes and has the contact name ‘papa smurf’. Thank you to the only fiji water addict i know, who may have chased me onto my bunk and hit me with a slipper during our grade 8 overnight trip but also made it one of my favourite memories. Thank you to the most intense french class hater I’ve ever met, who stayed up reading and talking to me on the very same trip that made us friends. Thank you to my entire friend group; for making last year my favourite school year ever, and who will never, ever find this post.

(And if any of you do, by any chance, have an account here, and somehow do end up finding this, no you didn’t 🫶🏻)