aestheticvoyage2023

[aestheticvoyage2023]

Aesthetic Voyage 2024

The voyage continues for Year 14 here:

[aestheticvoyage2023]

December 2023

The last chapter of the year was signature traditional Christmas, with my parents coming in from Michigan to help us put together a special time that cemented some of our own traditions here in the Finca. We hosted a lot of festive cheer, as we navigated the weeks where we all tried to put an emphasis on rest and restore ahead of the refreshing of the calendar. Aside from the rhythm of life that Chrhistmas time brings, of reconnecting with family, December also included three year end trips to the dentist, Audrie paying off her college loans, tying down as much as I could at work to put to rest a difficult binge of a year there before several days of vacation, and of course, lemons. I am grateful as I close out 2023, for the health of all in my family and that all things considered, life here is really pretty great. I am blessed - as much as I get in my own way, I am so blessed. The pictures of this month illustrate that perfectly. Going into 2024, I look to revive and spring into action for a great year. December set the table perfectly for that. Time to get to work again - see you next year!

Best Day: Classic Saturday with William - December 9

Best Song: Kat Hasty - Why Do Good People Die

Best Quote:  “To be an artist, you don’t have to compose music or paint or be in the movies or write books. It’s just a way of living. It has to do with paying attention, remembering, filtering what you see and answering back, participating in life.” Viggo Mortensen

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Day 365b: December 31, 2023 - "New Years Eve 2023"

Its been ten years since I had a New Years with no Audrie to kiss at midnight, but was far from alone. After a night of consuming all our substances before a substance free 2024, and some really awesome dinner thanks to Mary Siler's old chicken wing marmalade recipe, we found ourselves cheerfully waking William up at quarter to midnight for the ball drop and his special presents for the new year - one last holiday tradition. And while I didn't get a romantic kiss at midnight, I got the joy of him opening his first baseball glove, soccer ball, and football. With a year of activity ahead for me, I want to include him in it as much as I can and I hope he loves these tools of the sports trade half as much as his balance bike. I imagine that in 2024, these three special gifts will star prominently in the time that we spend together. We sat on the couch as he was waking up, and I explained to him the turning of he year, and the new season 2024 would be for us, and how I love to celebrate the refreshing of a new year. And it went in, because as we laid in bed at 1am, starting this important year together, he replayed it all back to me. He finished by saying in the new year Santa Claus is going to bring him a rocketship. Him and me both, shooting our expectations high for the 366 days ahead of us.

Song: Scottish Symphony - Auld Lang Syne

Quote: “Stop wandering about! You aren't likely to read your own notebooks, or ancient histories, or the anthologies you've collected to enjoy in your old age. Get busy with life's purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue-if you care for yourself at all-and do it while you can.” ― Marcus Aurelius

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Day 365: Sunday December 31, 2023 - "New Years"

I wrote this years letter to self in my best journal - with all the scribbles of the years including some old intentions. A time capsule of sorts that never seems to run out of pages. And this year I chose to put my letter to self onto its paper in hopes that helps me harvest all the years building up to this one. "10 years post Ramble" it starts and then reads as one part pep talk, and one part hopeful agenda making. As I sat by the fire in the waning hours of 2023, I signed a love letter to myself for the new year that includes calling forward enjoying my work, being a solid steadfast partner, a nurturing parent, a healthy role model in all ways. I called for myself very pointedly to stop being lazy, but to actually engage in the marrow of life again, to be unbreakable, to stop the mope, and to honor each day - a potent recipe for a great year, if only I'll take the on the challenge of Revival. It was a hopeful way to close out 2023, with much momentum I am ready to start. Ready for a new chapter. 2023 was massive for my personal growth and self-awareness, but in the work, I left very little energy and time for taking care of myself. While it helped me to center on the year's word of Upward Spirals at every chance that I could - it left a lot of room for improvement and I stand here on the cusp of a new year, ready to tackle that last remaining piece in my journey - self-love, starting with taking care of my body, the obvious key to a more centered, peaceful, and joyful life. Re-reading my words, penned by the fire, its clear that I am subscribed. And now I hand the baton to 2024's storyteller to see what can be created off what I've built so far.

Song: Josiah and the Bonnevilles - Basic Channels

Quote: May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself. ~Neil Gaiman

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Day 364: Saturday December 30, 2023 - "Party's Over"

We spontaneously gathered on the patio as Audrie whined about needing to go start packing her bags. "I just dont want the party to be over." And we knew exactly what that meant as the cooler opened and the tops popped and we cheersed to a good holiday run and to the authentic life we lead. Ending it much the way it started back when my parents first arrived. We'll see her next year. And just like the last few nights we gathered out front when the mountains turned pink to finish our drinks - life with a view. What a blessing. Every little bit that we get. 2023 was a blessing. I kissed Audrie goodbye and with it, a promise to try to make 2024 all worth it, and hope that shes in that with me, as she flies away for a new year in Hawaii.

Song: M83 - Adieux

Quote: "You can’t go by nothing but your own convictions. Because if you don’t live the way you believe, sooner or later you will believe the way you live." ~James Baldwin

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Day 363: Friday December 29, 2023 - "College Loan Debt Free"

As a couple, we are now officially college loan debt free as Audrie paid her last $134 today to close out her loans in the year 2023. What a great way to end the year and we were all there to toast to her on the patio when she did it. Lots of hugs and pride for the big accomplishment for us. Our college educations are all paid off. Time to start saving for William's! We got a check from Aunt Jane and Uncle Dave for Christmas and decided to use it to seed a savings account for William's education fund and both pay into, now that our month loan payments are a thing of the past we can pay them forward to the future. But first, time to treat Mama out for her favorite drink of all - Cucumber Martini at Dante's Fire. I told her she can get as many as she wants - "no, thats too many". Cheers to that. To be college educated is a great privilege - to have paid for it, an even bigger one.

Song: Suki Waterhouse - Moves

Quote: "I think I’m greedy, but I’m not greedy for money. I’m greedy for an exciting life." ~ David Hockney

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Day 362: Thursday December 28, 2023 - "Acton Christmas"

Actons ventured to Apache Junction from all over today to enjoy the sunshine and some christmas time together, and with Grandpa. Teresa and Stephanie's kids are getting very tall and they are impressive families and William enjoyed all the love and attention from Nick and NIcole. Grandpa really loved his gifts from William including a new bath robe that he really needed and some new books, and all the love and hugs from his guy who even brought his bike to ride with his Big Papa. Aunt Sue treated us all to some really great Pizza and Teresa led us out to the Mormon temple in Mesa to see the beautiful Christmas lights - something she used to enjoy doing with Grandma, who we all miss and can just as easily imagine her right here along side of us. "Jo sure would love all this" Grandpa lamented to me before we left - I agree, she probably does! As we strolled with the Actons through the special lights, I reflected on being grateful that Grandpa is still here with us this year, and how much he had wanted to have William remember him. We're definitely accomplishing that Grandpa. I hope he's here to see the 3 year old Christmas too.

Song: Celtic Women - Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!

Quote: "As difficult as it may be, we have to reach a point where we let go of the burdens of our experiences and share the beauty of the lessons the left behind. -Morgan Richard Oliver

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Day 361: Wednesday December 27, 2023 - "Cunningham Clan"

We had a post Christmas meet up planned at our favorite brewery in town, Crooked Tooth, where William got to play with his Cunningham cousins from Texas for a couple hours. Hadley really enjoyed showing William how to make patterns. Dad and I enjoyed the IPAs. And the Mexican lunch Jose got us was pretty great too but oh so important to find these little moments in time when all these kids can be together and not lose touch as they grow, with William always looking up.

Song: The Rolling Stones - I Cant Get No (Satisfaction)

Quote: “The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.” ~Ernest Hemingway

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Day 360: Tuesday December 26, 2023 - "Huckleberry Appreciation"

This post contributed by Audrie:

Our Huckle-Buckle-Berry-Good-Boy

It was a few years ago (maybe 2019) when I really started to think about and maifest the concept of actualizing a new four legged friend into our lives.  Afterall, it had been a really spectacular run as a duo and then a trio; from 2009 it was just me and the cheese-dog, then in 2014 Jake joined our duo to make our family.  And so went our tro status quo for more than 6 years.  And with the 2019 practice house in the old pueblo, and the 2020 pandemic pressure that caused us to leap into home ownership and baby making mode almost simultaneously, my maternal instincts were on high alert looking forward to and calling out the universe gods to send us our next four legged family member.  And lowe and behold, in September of 2020 our huckle-boy fell into our lap.  We would have to wait a couple months to pick him up and bring him home with a close early life shave with puppy parvo, but thankfully to a loving and lovely foster family we had our berry boy on his way home to us around halloween.  Havarti, we think, was thrilled at first, but then concerned when he learned that this sweet red hound we brought home and tagged was not a visitor but a permanent sibling brought here with loving intention to stay.  The two of them got along as one would expect an old steady seasoned grandpa and a young energetic whipper-snap to.  One had all the patience and one had all the play.  Thinking back on these two, it's not all that different than thinking about the way the puzzle pieces between William and his Great Grandpa Acton fit together instantly.  They just go. In a flow that nobody could have ever predicted and somehow made perfect sense.  

We lost our best good Cheese-Boy this past summer, and in so, Huckleberry lost his brother, his mentor, his papa-dog, and his every day play, snuggle, meal, lounge, cuddle mate.  The loss for us with Havarti was immense, and to think about the loss from Huckleberry's perspective feels immeasurable.  Havarti was his world.  His mentor. His model. 

We saw major changes with Huck as soon as Havarti passed.  Our trazodone doped anxious animal mellowed too with the loss of Havarti's heartbeat.  So we stopped drugging him on the daily.  Huckleberry seemed to process Havarti's passing so much like any human would grieve the loss of a sibling, friend, mentor, family member.  And as the months and life have begrudgingly moved on without our best cheesy boy, we have also been witness to the best good boy Huckleberry has been that we never fully expected him to become.  

We already knew he was good and patient and trustworthy with William, but once Havarti passed, we saw extra caution come into his play and movement around our toddling boy -- And extra patience and calm presence held down by his more relaxed body and energy through the days and the weeks and the months that passed after Havart's passing.  

And as we have moved through the fall and into the holiday winter months here at the finca, inching the days closer and closer to the stocking stuffers and the package unwraps around our strange human seasonal traditions, we have been able to just sit back in awe of our Huckle-nuckle-good-berry-boy, and see him truly come into himself.  At about age 3.5 now, shedding his puppyness and stepping powerfully into his Humancompanionness, he has caused pause many a moment through our bustling Christmas season to honor, acknowledge and praise this new best-good-boy of the house.  And as hard as it is to say we have another best good dog in our life, with the utmost respect to the most wonderful predecessor before him, we see more and more of Havarti's slow patient wise being and compassion come out of our wild Huckleberry as the months move on; we see more stretchy legs and lazy dog couch days that make us think about the good life Huckleberry has had, has learned, and has ahead of him as William's best bud and furry compadre.  

We have caught ourselves in awe of this sweet rescue pup, that happened into our lives, made a home in our hearts, and laps, with giggles, and kisses, and head hugs, and good boy snuggles.  And I have to pinch myself sometimes at the beauty of the best good boys that surround me in my home.  Huckleberry following in those very big puppy shoes, filling them up, far better than any expectation we could have set.      

Song: Elton John - Step Into Christmas

Quote: "We were together, I forget the rest." ~ Walt Whitman

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Day 359b: Monday Night December 25, 2023 - "Christmas Night at The Finca"

Had an evening party at The Finca for a mix of Audrie's family and mine complete with a Christmas Ham, rhubarb slush, a champagne toast to them all, and a fun round of Dirty Santa/White Elephant. William got plenty of cousins time, and time to wrangle around with Uncle Spencer. I enjoyed tipping back drinks with Aunt Jane, and enjoying the vibe of a full house from out around a Christmas Fire.

Song: Brenda Lee - Rockin Around the Christmas Tree

Quote: "May you be surrounded by friends and family, and if this is not your lot, may the blessings find you in your solitude." ~Leonard Cohen

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Day 359a: Monday December 25, 2023 - "Christmas Morning 2023"

Santa Clause came and brought the promised Yellow Race Car for William who slowly explored his new toys before getting into the rhythm of opening presents with the rest of the family. Grandpa's records, Huck's tug wreath, Grandma's stocking, and Mama's necklace - he was the emcee and the main attraction this Christmas morning. The hit was Audrie's gluten free cinnamon rolls. A very nice morning as a family together in the Great Room, and cherished photos of a little boy's big Christmas morning.

Song: Elvis Presley - Merry Christmas Baby

Quote: "In the general uproar of gifts and unwinding of wrappers it was always a delight for me to step out on the porch or even go out on the street a ways at one o’clock in the morning and listen to the silent hum of heaven diamond stars, watch the red and green windows of homes, consider the trees that seemed frozen in sudden devotion, and think over the events of another year passed." ― Jack Kerouac, Not Long Ago Joy Abounded at Christmas

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Day 358b: Sunday December 24, 2023 - "Christmas Eve Traditions"

Having grown up with some pretty good traditional Christmas from both sides of my family, its pretty important to me to create and help sustain good Christmas traditions for my own family. While we hang our stockings in the desert, we can still nostalgically sing about a White Christmas. Earlier in the day we finished this annual Christmas puzzle, and Audrie served up the traditional Christmas Curry, as great this year, around our full dinner table than ever before. After dinner we unwrapped the first presents of the year, special ones for the family Christmas tree - Bronners ornaments for Mama and William, and our family ornament with four stockings for each of us Arizona Actinghams. A new tradition to start this year too - with William loving the Christmas Train so much, I got him a special copy of the Polar Express, and he took turns in Papa and Mama's lap as they recited the wondorous story that brings Santa to life. The funny elf hats from my Mom very definitely should be a tradition too.

Clad in his Santa pajamas, little William set out some cookies, milk, and carrots for the big Guy, and fresh fruit in a nod to Grandma Acton, the beating heart of these Christmas Eve traditions in my memory, and the reason that its important to do something to make Christmas Eve unique and special for her grandson. He went to bed wondering if Santa was going to land on our roof. He's definitely into it this year, and if Audrie is right, that this might be the first one that he remembers - he will have had a very special and loving time in those scenes.

With William asleep, Santas got to work putting together the toy table and bike that we got him. Around 11pm my Dad shared his own nostalgic tradition of pouring himself a rum and coke and enjoying the Christmas Tree while listening to Kenny G. So when all was done, and the Christmas Vacation movie was over, thats what we did. Nothing left to do now but sleep (except for Audrie who'd stay up until 3am making gluten free cinnamon rolls - a yearly Christmas morning tradition that we can all look forward to!)

Song: Kenny G - The Christmas Song

Quote: "Some Christmas tree ornaments do a lot more than glitter and glow, they represent a gift of love given a long time ago." – Tom Baker

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Day 358a: Sunday December 24, 2023 - "Lions Win"

The Lions were on Christmas Eve morning with a chance to win the division for the first time since I was 12....and the bright blue pool sitting there just above 50 degrees felt like a fun idea, so I told William if the Lions won the division, to mark it, Id do a big cannonball into the cold pool. They won. Moving to an exciting 11-4. Moments later I was taking the big plunge and getting the air sucked out of my lungs, still wearing my blues. Its always a fun idea to shake up the pool water on Christmas.

Song: Idina Menzel & Michael Bublé - Baby It's Cold Outside

Quote: Happiness does not come from football awards. It's terrible to correlate happiness with football. Happiness comes from a good job, being able to feed your wife and kids. I don't dream football, I dream the American dream - two cars in a garage, be a happy father. ~Barry Sanders

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Day 357: Saturday December 23, 2023 - "Toddler Christmas Party"

With little heads bobbing just below the kitchen island, with little hands reaching up and checking for cookies - this is what a toddler Christmas party looks like. We joined Bre and Tom in midtown for some good entertainment of little kids running around, burning some of that Christmas build up energy. It was like wildkatz with an open (snack) bar.

Song: The Royal Guardsman - Christmas Bells

Quote: "At Christmas, play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year." — Thomas Tusser

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Day 356: Friday December 22, 2023 - "Christmas Time"

The presents are all wrapped and gotten and everything on the list is done, with a couple days to spare, and just in time for Audrie to be home. She pieced together a really beautiful centerpiece with the flowers I got her, and it looked beautiful on our new table with a Christmas Table Cloth. Just a few more days of keeping William off the presents, and a few more days to enjoy this beautiful wonderful sight - a traditional Christmas Tree with plenty of presents under the tree. Wispy rhymes of class Christmas Carols in some other room, pine candles burning so that you might not notice that our almost perfect tree is fake! Holly Francis, our Christmas Angel, guardian of all this beauty hoping to keep the spirits around here merry and bright.

We've spent a lot of time here in our Great Room this season commenting on how we've really gotten it right. What a great homey space. The last time my parents were here for Christmas, we didn't have furniture in here yet! It really has come a long way, and even with so much further to go, its a reflection of my own journey too. I always despised the idea of a mortgage; never wanted to be a settled down type, always with an itinerant spirit that fought the idea of roots - it was the foothold I balanced my identity on the last 14 years. But roots came to mean love. A mortgage a gateway to home and memories and family. The open road give way to an open home. And in The Finca the heart of our family beats, in a Christmas Tree, in a nurturing intent.Building a rhythm of this life, this chapter, this story.

Song: Silent Night Jazz Piano

Quote: “Travel and tell no one, live a true love story and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things.” ― Kahlil Gibran

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Day 355: Thursday December 21, 2023 - "Uncle Spencer"

Uncle Spencer came from Texas to spend the evening with us. Spaghetti, William's favorite meal, proceeded summersaults and reading time. He was nice enough to stay late and go out to the airport to get Mama Audrie - and getting some special time at our home with her for the holidays. We even got him to help with the Christmas puzzle. Fit right back in.

Song: The Andrews Sisters - Boogy Woogiie Bugle Boy

Quote: "You cannot wish for both strong character and an easy life. The price of each is the other." ~Anon.

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Day 354: Wednesday December 20, 2023 - "Christmas Puzzle 2023"

Grandpa laughed when I suggested we'd have the thousand piece Christmas Cheer Puzzle of 2023 done before Christmas, as we unwrapped it and started sorting pieces earlier in the week. And seeing how we were missing a piece when we finished on Christmas Eve, he may have been right. In between, everyone through The Finca took a turn at the table, so that in a week's time we had slotted them all together. My Mom especially took to the puzzle time, enjoying the house and the face and even the trees before we all joined forces to tackle the branches and lights. We've got one to glue and frame for Christmas this year, with time to do one more!

Song: Nat King Cole - Deck The Halls

Quote: “Life is a great puzzle that is woven into the pieces of time. The more we live the more apparent it gets, and it makes more sense” ― Dr. Lucas D. Shallua