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How the UK, Argentina and Colombia serves as perfect destination for same sex surrogacy?
The concept of same sex surrogacy is different across various parts of the world. While few rules out the possibility of any same sex surrogacy procedure, others have regulated this practice. Let's plunge into how same-sex surrogacy is practiced in three nations: the United Kingdom (UK), Argentina, and Colombia, investigating the legal systems, types, and considerations unique to each.
How Surrogacy for gay couples in UK works ?
The practice of surrogacy within the UK is more or less same like other parts of the world. Moreover, Surrogacy for gay couples in UK is legal but intensely regulated. Also, the law only allows for altruistic surrogacy, where the surrogate mother can only be compensated for medical costs. This applies similarly to hetero and same-sex couples. The key challenge for same-sex couples, particularly for male couples, is finding a surrogate, as commercial surrogacy agencies are not allowed to function here.
Legal system in UK
The legal system is slightly tricky in UK. That said, the legal guardians of the child at birth are the surrogate mother and, in case that she is married or in a civil relationship, her life partner or partner, unless they did not assent to the surrogacy program. Same-sex couples must apply for a parental order to get legal parenthood of the child born through surrogacy. Also, this process can commence after the child's birth and must be done within six months.
How the process goes on?
The crucial component here is the functioning of the surrogacy process. That said, same-sex couples regularly connect in with surrogacy through informal courses of action or through non-commercial surrogacy agencies that help match intended parents with surrogates. Also, the method includes legal understandings, in spite of the fact that these are not enforceable by UK law. After the child's birth, the same-sex couple applies for a parental order to exchange legal parenthood from the surrogate (and her spouse/partner in case appropriate) to themselves.
Surrogacy in Argentina for Same-Sex Couples
Surrogacy for same sex in Argentina functions quite differently. Moreover, the country is known for its dynamic position on LGBTQ+ rights, being the first nation in Latin America to legalize same-sex marriage in 2010. Surrogacy, be that as it may, works in a legal gray area; it's not unequivocally directed by law, but it's not disallowed either. This uncertainty permits same-sex couples to seek after surrogacy courses of action, regularly with the assistance of legal experts to explore the complexities.
Legal system in Argentina
Since there are no particular surrogacy laws in Argentina, the method depends intensely on the agreements made between the intended parents and the surrogate. Also, the need of direction implies that there's a noteworthy agreement on trust and legal contracts outlined to ensure the rights and duties of all parties included.
The functioning of the process
Surrogacy for same-sex in Argentina more often than not starts with counseling with a lawyer who specializes in reproductive rights and family law. These experts offer assistance in drafting agreements and exploring the surrogate's pregnancy and birth aspects. After the child is born, same-sex partners regularly ought to go through adoptions procedures to set up legal parenthood, in spite of the fact that this could change depending on the states inside Argentina.
Surrogacy for same sex in Colombia
A country like Colombia is surely a haven for all the same sex couples looking for same sex surrogacy. That said, Colombia stands out in Latin America for its favorable approach to LGBTQ+ rights and surrogacy. Moreover, surrogacy has been legal since 1988, and recent legal progressions have made the nation an appealing destination for same-sex couples looking to begin a family through surrogacy.
The functioning of the legal system
Colombian law permits for altruistic surrogacy, where the surrogate may only be compensated for medical and pregnancy-related costs. At the same time, commercial surrogacy isn't allowed. For same-sex couples, particularly male couples, the method to set up legal parenthood is clear compared to numerous other countries. The intended guardians can be pronounced the legal guardians before the child's birth, eliminating the need for adoption procedure post-birth.
On the other side, the process around surrogacy for same sex in Colombia includes making a surrogacy agreement with the help of legal professional to guarantee all parties' rights are ensured. That said, medical strategies for conception are carried out in fertility clinics that are acclimated to working with same-sex couples. Once the surrogate is pregnant, intended parents can begin the legal process to be recognized as the child’s guardians, making the post-birth process smoother.
Final words
If you are an intended parent looking for a hassle free experience regarding same sex surrogacy, these three countries could come as a great choice. Yet, the surrogacy journey within the UK, Argentina, and Colombia offers its own rewards and even the challenges. Moreover, each nation has its interesting legal system and process, but the basic guideline is the same: the urge to create a family. That said, with the right planning, legal process, and support, same-sex couples can explore these ways toward satisfying their dream of parenthood.
Source: https://surrogacycare.blogspot.com/2024/04/how-uk-argentina-and-colombia-serves-as.html
#where is surrogacy legal in europe#countries where surrogacy is legal#countries where surrogacy is illegal#countries where surrogacy is legal 2024#single parent surrogacy legal countries#altruistic surrogacy#what is commercial surrogacy#is surrogacy legal in uk
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Elton John and David Furnish have done it, and so have Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.
There’s a bloke from Essex who recently joined the club via an undisclosed overseas location and a 72-year-old Scotsman has just been recognised as the legitimate owner of an American one he bought back in 2020.
What we are talking about here is surrogacy: the incubation and effective purchase of babies after the careful selection of their component parts.
The global market – already worth almost $18 billion (£14 billion) – is projected to rise to $129bn by 2032, according to the research firm Global Market Insights, with anywhere between 5,000 and 20,000 babies incubated to order annually.
This covers the whole caboodle in which you can DIY things with a friend at one extreme, or go for the full Lamborghini treatment where, in some countries, an agent will help you shop around the globe for the finest sperm, eggs and wombs money can buy.
For those opting for the international pick and mix route, there are BOGOF deals (two implants for the price of one), the option of sex selection and a pay-as-you-go plan.
And that’s because you, the customer, are always right. As one agency, New Life Conceptual Limited, based in Lagos, Nigeria puts it: “…it takes four ingredients to make a baby: an egg, a sperm, a womb to grow in, and a family to go home to. You have the last ingredient, but you need a place for your baby to grow, and that’s why you’re here.”
Some companies even offer legal guarantees around defective foetuses that have to be aborted.
If you think I’m making this up, think again.
In the UK, where commercial surrogacy is banned but international imports are not, there are now between 400 and 500 new surrogate-incubated babies registered each year, while globally the business is more than doubling in value every two years.
Some call it a “miracle” and point to the invisible hand of the market creating a profitable multi-billion dollar industry in which everyone wins; a benign system of supply and demand the libertarian economist Leonard Read might have called I, Baby.
And while there is no suggestion that the multi-millionaire celebrities who have used surrogacy, like Elton John and the Kardashians, have exploited the surrogate mothers who bore their children, for others – including feminists like myself – the global surrogacy trade reeks of false entitlement.
It has been sanitised by the liberal “rights” agenda and the same self-serving logic that brands prostitutes “sex workers”. If it brings to mind a book or essay, it is Brave New World, Aldous Huxley’s dystopian novel about social engineering and evil hiding in plain sight.
To what extent, for example, is the lack of regulation around surrogacy driving impoverished women into unsafe and unconsented arrangements, as it once did so extensively with domestic and international adoption?
And what do we really know of all those hundreds of Brits now shopping for children around the world.
Can it really be right that you can effectively buy a baby overseas but raise it in Britain where commercial surrogacy is supposed to be banned?
Just as in the 1950s, ‘60s and ‘70s, when we thought of adoption as a favour to unsuitable mums whether they be “wayward” teens or impoverished Mexicans, surrogacy is being sanitised.
Delve into the subject on the Internet and you will find that almost everywhere you look, it’s celebrated. These babies, magicked into welcoming arms, are seemingly a modern miracle for childless couples of every stripe. TikTok is full of it.
Here in Blighty, we have only “ethical surrogacy”, says Surrogacy UK, a leading non-profit “providing a safe, supportive environment for surrogates, intended parents and families”.
Such organisations emphasise the benefits to infertile couples, and the “great gift” bestowed by women (aged 16 or older) who are happy to “altruistically” lend their womb to another for nine months.
Whilst such arrangements do work for some, there is no reliable data on what is really going on in the UK. This is because the sector is governed by a bizarre mish-mash of statute and common law, and because regulation, where it exists at all, is opaque.
Echoing the words of a Tarantino script, surrogacy is legal in the UK but not a hundred per cent legal.
It’s legal to enter into an agreement with a surrogate, it’s legal to pay her “reasonable expenses”, and, if you’re the owner of a womb, it’s legal to grow a child (made with your eggs or someone else’s) and give it away once it’s born.
But it’s illegal to advertise you are looking for a surrogate in the UK or solicit for business if you want to become a surrogate. It’s also an offence to arrange or negotiate a surrogacy arrangement as a “commercial enterprise”, but that doesn’t really matter because, get this: “reasonable expenses” can stretch beyond the average annual wage.
If money is still an obstacle, you can always rent a womb from a woman in a country like California, Cyprus or Greece where for-profit surrogacy is legal, before bringing the child back home to the UK.
Another oddity of the UK system is that, while it is a criminal offence to advertise surrogacy services, there are “some exemptions for not-for-profit organisations”. It is not clear how these agencies are selected but they are organisations that officials at the Department of Health and Social Care deem trustworthy. It is how agencies like Surrogacy UK and Brilliant Beginnings are able to proactively recruit and advertise a willing pool of surrogates in Britain.
“All our surrogates benefit from being a part of our thriving community and can enjoy a range of events and gifts along the way,” says the Brilliant Beginnings website. “Surrogate retreats” and “milestone gifts” such as chocolates, flowers and even bellybuds - speakers that allow mothers to play music to babies in the womb - are all part of the service.
Brilliant Beginnings says “expenses” payments to surrogate mothers in the UK typically range between £12,000 to £35,000. It is not known how well off the typical UK surrogate is in relation to the intended parents check, but there is potentially a stark economic divide.
“For surrogates who receive means-tested state benefits, it is important to be clear about whether benefits might be affected by any expenses received,” says the Best Beginnings website. “We would always recommend surrogates are upfront with their benefits office”.
Evidence for the benefits and harms of surrogacy in the UK are almost entirely anecdotal.
Disputes do occur but no one really knows their frequency or what they entail because they are heard in the secretive Family Court, which sits mainly in private and from which detailed reporting is banned.
An obvious problem in the UK, is that the flash point for disputes typically arises after the fact - that is, after a child has been born. This is the point at which the intended parents (or parent) must apply to the Court for a “transfer of legal parenthood” and, in most cases, will be the first time the state even becomes cognisant of the surrogacy arrangement.
An application for such a transfer can only be made with the surrogate’s consent but the decision hinges on what the Court considers to be in the best interests of the child, not the surrogate mother.
“The parental order process takes place after birth and involves the family court, and a court-appointed social worker,” says the DHSC website. “This provides a valuable safeguard for the best interests of the child”.
There is a growing recognition that the regulation of surrogacy in the UK is inadequate but the agencies who run it want legislative reforms that favour the would-be parents rather than the surrogate mothers.
They are especially exercised about the fact that written agreements between surrogates and intended parents are ultimately unenforceable in the UK courts.
Others, including myself, want the practice banned – as it is in many countries across the world. Miriam Cates, the former Conservative MP for Penistone and Stocksbridge, caused a storm in January when she said surrogacy was “just ethically not acceptable”.
“Of course adults have a strong desire to be parents, both men or women. Of course it’s a sadness if that’s unfulfilled for whatever reason – they can’t conceive, don’t have a partner, whatever it is.
“But to deliberately bring a child into the world in order to separate it from its mother at birth I think is just ethically not acceptable,” she said.
Alan White, chairman of Surrogacy UK, told a webinar hosted by the Royal College of Midwives in February that those of us who see the practice as unethical and exploitative were limiting choice and free will because we failed to properly understand the motivations of surrogate mothers.
“Surrogates don’t see themselves as mothers, they see themselves as extreme baby-sitters,” he said. “[They are] doing that wonderful thing of doing the part of having children women or gay men can’t do for themselves”.
To survive the psychological impact of giving away a child, there is little doubt that this sort of thinking helps.
As Helen Gibson, the founder of Surrogacy Concern points out, surrogates are encouraged to see themselves as a bystander – just the “the oven” or “the microwave”, as some describe themselves.
But this sort of psychological dissociation doesn’t always work, and perhaps seldom does.
I spoke to one UK woman who feels deep regret at her decision to enter into a surrogacy arrangement. Sandra, whose name I’ve changed, was 32 with two children of her own. She had escaped a violent husband, and was struggling to make ends meet.
A friend suggested she could make money by carrying a baby for an infertile couple. And, after approaching a UK agency she found via Facebook, she was told that in return for having the baby, she could enjoy “unlimited expenses, within reason”.
She was introduced to a gay male couple who wanted her to carry an implanted embryo, engineered with selected eggs to give them the best chance of a “tall, blonde child”. Sandra, by contrast, is short and dark.
The embryo transfer failed three times, and the IVF process made Sandra extremely sick. Eventually, the couple decided to go to California, but not before admonishing her for wasting “their time, and a lot of money.”
“I felt like a broodmare,” she told me.
If the UK surrogacy market is a classic British muddle, the global market is the wild west.
And because no UK Court or Home Office official can possibly check the provenance of all the elements that go to make up a child (the sperm, the eggs, the IVF, or, crucially, the free agency of the surrogate mother), anything goes for the unscrupulous.
Although most countries around the world still ban the practice, there are more than enough who don’t.
In Greece and various US states including California, Washington DC and Arkansas, commercial surrogacy is fully legal. In many other countries it is either unregulated or very lightly regulated, enabling the trade to flourish. Countries in this bracket include Brazil, Mexico, Colombia, the Czech Republic, Argentina, Guatemala, Iran, Kenya, Nigeria, the Philippines, Russia and Ukraine.
WFI Surrogacy, one of America’s biggest providers, offers its customers what it calls a “live birth guarantee” – the promise that a birth will occur once the process is underway.
“The high quality of our egg donors and surrogate mothers enables us to make this type of guarantee”, says WFI. “Our live birth guarantee programs are available for either: singleton or twins [or] one specimen source or two specimen sources”.
“All our surrogate mothers are medically and psychologically screened,” it adds.
This is Big Fertility, whose business model relies on the commodification of every aspect of pregnancy.
A healthy overall budget for a Brit using the US surrogacy route sits between £250,000 to £320,000, according to the UK agency Brilliant Beginnings.
Often freelance agents or “fixers” will shop around the world for their clients to increase choice and reduce costs. A surrogate mum in Los Angeles, California costs a whole lot more than one from rural Mexico, for example.
Denmark has long been prized for its sperm, its tall blond donors making the most of their viking heritage.
For eggs, there are also options galore – and all pushed with a good dose of fairy tale genetics.
Egg Donor number “241222_01” on the World Center of Baby website (motto: every person deserves to be a parent) conforms precisely to the modern notion of female beauty as defined by Instagram.
Weighing in at just 66kg, she’s also “an artistic soul with a flair for creativity”. If you would prefer a sporty one, just go for donor number 241222_02 – “an athletic enthusiast, deeply engaged in fitness and sports”.
Embryos can be made up from the customers chosen eggs and sperm in any number of IVF labs around the world. They are then frozen and shipped to wherever the chosen surrogate may be. Fixers facilitate the entire process, including the negotiation of complex legal agreements and the careful arbitrage of international and domestic laws and regulations.
The wording of commercial surrogacy contracts is telling, the text reflecting the economic disparity between carrier and client.
“If Gestational Carrier suffers a loss of her uterus as a result of the performance of her obligations under this Agreement, she shall receive $5,000.00 from Intended Parents”, stipulates one contract.
It continues: “If Intended Parents jointly request Gestational Carrier to terminate the pregnancy because of the Child’s medical condition(s), she will do so promptly. If Gestational Carrier refuses to terminate, Gestational Carrier will have materially breached this Agreement and Intended Parents’ obligations under this Agreement shall cease immediately”.
Natalia Gamble, a director at Brilliant Beginnings, says the agency made an active decision “to only facilitate people going to places that we felt were ethical, secure, and safe”.
Although Ms Gamble is adamant that her approach is ethical, she helps clients go to Nigeria, Cyprus, and Ukraine, where commercial surrogacy flourishes.
“We made the active decision at Brilliant Beginnings to only facilitate people going to places that we felt were ethical, secure, and safe – we have very much focused on the US, but through our law firm (NGA Law) we have helped people go into places like Nigeria, Cyprus, and Ukraine because our role is much more not to help them do it in the first place but to help them bring their children home and resolve all the legalities afterwards,” she said.
Northern Cyprus even allows sex selection, with several clinics there advertising the service on their websites.
“The cases that are happening in Nigeria or Cyprus where it’s very unregulated and there’s no legal framework are a very, very small percentage of the overall international surrogacy landscape,” she said.
“We do need to be very alert to the risks of exploitation and those risks are greatest in places where there is no legal framework regulating how surrogacy is run [...] but, it’s about not overinflating those risks when the majority of people are going to what you might call ‘good surrogacy destinations’.”
Ms Gamble is pushing for a change to UK law that would grant commissioning parent(s) legal rights to the child (embryo) at the point of conception.
“It’s in the best interest of the child,” she says. “If you speak to any surrogate mother they will say ���Look, I am not the mother of this child, I’m always very clear that it’s someone else’s child that I’m carrying’ – no one wants the surrogate mother on the birth certificate, including her.”
But is that really true – are surrogate mothers really so detached?
I spoke to Liane, who said her own experience of surrogacy caused “a huge amount of grief and hurt”.
She described the market as being infected with a sort of “toxic positivity”.
She added: “It’s painted as a wonderful thing to do, a beautiful selfless act which can only bring joy when for me, I felt used, manipulated, and devastated”.
Ms Gibson of Surrogacy Concern says cases involving “coercion and regret” are not uncommon, even within the UK’s surrogacy model.
“Surrogacy prioritises the wants of the adults ahead of the needs of the child, and creates a societal sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies,” she said.
The practices of single men buying children abroad, white couples using black surrogate mothers, and the growing trend towards using cut price surrogacy destinations such as Mexico, Colombia, Kenya and Ghana are all on Surrogacy Concern’s radar.
Physical harms to surrogate mothers are real. Carrying a baby always involves serious risk but, for surrogates, those risks are often greatly magnified.
Linda Khan, an epidemiologist based in the departments of Paediatrics and Population Health at NYU, says surrogates run an “increased risks of all kinds of pregnancy complications, which lead to adverse outcomes for women and children”.
One factor, she says, is that the embryo is not biologically related to the woman and implanted via IVF. Another is that “many women are carrying multiples because it’s so expensive. They want two for the price of one”.
“Twinning is not safe, even when it occurs naturally. It is a huge burden on women’s bodies, it gets all the risks of complications sky-rocketing.”
Whilst it would be difficult (though not impossible) to ban or abolish surrogacy entirely – changing laws to ban the ‘womb traffickers’ as many campaigners refer to the brokers, should be a priority.
The marketing of surrogacy should also be made subject to tougher regulation, say some experts, although many others favour a blanket ban.
“Surrogacy is a trade that makes commodities of children, of embryos and of eggs, and reduces women to being seen as machines,” said Ms Gibson. “It should not masquerade as a progressive solution to the problem of infertility.”
Further, any legal protections introduced in the UK should be for the benefit of the surrogate mothers giving birth and the babies, rather than for the commissioning parents or agents, adds Ms Gibson. A commissioning parent should never have a legal right to remove a baby if a woman has changed her mind.
In March last year, experts from 75 countries signed the Casablanca Declaration, which calls for a global ban on all forms of surrogacy. And in April this year, an international conference was held in Rome with an aim to provide all States with a legal instrument banning the practice of surrogate motherhood.
Implicit within it is a rejection of the fanciful and dangerous notion that anyone, anywhere has an inalienable right to a child.
“The regulations of each country are not enough to stop human trafficking globally,” said Bernard Garcia Larrain, the Executive Director of the Casablanca Declaration for the Universal Abolition of Surrogacy.
“We need an international treaty to prohibit surrogacy because this is a global market that moves a lot of money and knows no borders,” he added.
#radfem#radblr#radical feminism#gender critical#radical feminist#terfblr#radfem safe#terf safe#article#surrogacy
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Men 60 and over are purchasing g babies through surrogacy yet the average life span of men in England is 78.8 years. What plans do they have in place if they die before the babies are legally adults?
By Sanchez Manning 14 September 2024
Almost 300 men aged over 50 have applied to become the legal father of a surrogate child over the past five years – and 43 of them are over 60, new figures reveal.
And a total of 95 single men applied to become a parent, reflecting a growing trend in men, especially older men, having babies alone with the help of surrogates.
Since the law changed in 2019 to give single people the same surrogacy rights as couple, there have been 2,162 applications from intended parents in England.
A total of 293 would-be fathers are over 50, both solo and in couples, according to figures released following a Freedom of Information Act application from The Mail on Sunday.
Older women turning to surrogacy has already sparked debate, with high-profile figures such as Naomi Campbell using a surrogate to have children in their 50s.
And in June, a 72-year-old man was granted permission in Scotland to become the legal father of a three-year-old boy, born to a surrogate, despite the death of his wife.
Commenting on the new figures from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, fertility and family law expert Louisa Ghevaert said: ‘The numbers of single men and men over 50 applying for parental orders reflects wider trends in solo and later-life parenting that are set to continue.’
She added that the numbers also reflected ‘the fact there’s no legal upper age limit for a parental order’.
However, the latest disclosure has caused anger among some campaigners. Helen Gibson, of Surrogacy Concern, said: ‘We are appalled to see such high numbers of single men and older men pursuing surrogacy, often abroad and in commercial arrangements which are banned in the UK. This is a worrying trend in which mothers are erased from the lives of their children.’
But Alan White, of Surrogacy UK, said: ‘As a society, perhaps we’re more used to considering maternal instinct than we are paternal instinct, but the desire to become a parent can be strong whether you’re a man or a woman.’
The UK ranks as one of the worst countries to bring up twins and triplets, a shocking report has revealed.
Research from the Twins Trust found parents of such children are at least £20,000 worse off in the first year after birth, compared with those who have had two babies in succession.
In a ranking of developed nations that looked at financial help such as maternity pay, mental health support and childcare provision, the UK came 23rd out of 27.
Shauna Leven, chief executive of the Twins Trust, said: ‘This report lays bare the grim reality facing families with multiples – the financial burden, mental health toll and lack of support.’
The charity is calling on the Government to change maternity pay so it is paid per baby instead of per mother.
#Anti surrogacy#Surrogacy exploits women#Babies are not commodities#Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service#no legal upper age limit for a parental order#Surrogacy Concern#Surrogacy UK#Erasing mothers#The UK ranks as one of the worst countries to bring up twins and triplets
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“The overwhelming majority of women sign up to surrogacy because of poverty, and financial coercion is not a choice. The surrogacy industry is simply the reproductive brothel.
But what about those women that do genuinely offer their womb for use by an infertile couple or individual, an altruistic rather than commercial surrogacy? What right do I or any feminist have to say that she should not be allowed or able to do that? As with prostitution, I would never tell women that they don’t have a right to do what they wish with their bodies, but I do feel I have not just a right but an imperative to name and deter those who create the demand for surrogacy. Yes, a minority of women do enter into a surrogacy arrangement without being coerced by either poverty or an exploiter. But such women are, like the happy hooker, atypical. Laws and policy are not made for the tiny minority, and laws also send out a messages to wider society. The choice argument applied to surrogacy is a neoliberal one, in that those supporting the practice look only at the individuals who benefit directly from it, as opposed to the effect that commercialisation of women’s wombs has on wider society generally and women’s status specifically.”
- Julie Bindel, Feminism for Women
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Friends Don't || Chapter 13
Synopsis: Bob Floyd has been your best friend for almost a decade, ever since he quietly agreed to tutor you in college. The two of you have spent years chasing each other around the globe – Bob as a WSO, you as a travel blogger. You’ve always been the anywhere-but-here girl, and he’s been your rock. But when a surprise diagnosis threatens to crumble your picture-perfect life, you’re on the first flight back to San Diego, desperate to put down roots for the first time. Will Bob finally have it in him to admit that you could be the love of his life? What will he say when he finds out the secret you’ve been skillfully hiding from him? Or worse, what if he doesn’t find out until it’s too late?
Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x OC [Reid]
Tropes: Friends to lovers
Warnings: Cursing, cancer, alcohol, mentions of death, fertility discussions and pregnancy, surrogacy, mentions of IVF and clinics/hospital testing, fucking ANGST, medical inaccuracies because I am not a fertility expert or a physician
WC: 2.6K
Chapter summary: Phoenix's pregnancy progresses; Reid tells Bobby she's ready to get married; Reid forgives Jake for being a dick; Bobby and Reid prepare for Baby Floyd
Series masterlist here; previous chapter here; next chapter here
Bob had always wanted kids.
He wanted to be a dad, long before it was a popular idea. He remembered being eight and his little sister falling on the playground. He was the first one to get to her, to bandage her knee, to wipe away her tears and say it was going to be OK.
He knew then what he knew now: he was meant to be a dad. He just had to find the right girl to build a life with.
Everything happened fast. Before you knew it, you, Bob and Phoenix were on a commercial flight back to New York, meeting with your doctors at Mount Sinai about the viability of the eggs. Bob looked a little pale as they handed him a cup at the fertility specialist and showed him a private room in the corner. They asked if you would like to join him and the blush that crept over his face had you and Phoenix laughing for hours.
You got to show Bob and Phoenix around New York for two days while you waited for the results from Bob’s tests, the egg viability tests, as well as Phoenix’s screening exams. You took them for bagels and walks in the park all the way up to the Met. You snuck out early from the AirBnB in the morning to get chocolate babka from Breads Bakery before it sold out and you and Bob wandered the aisles of The Strand before meeting Phoenix for dinner at your favorite tapas bar tucked away on west 10th street.
And then you got the call. The three of you sat in the waiting room of the clinic on the upper east side, your hand swaddled in Bob’s.
“Everything looks good,” the doctor said. “We can start fertilization and bring you in for a transfer in a few days.”
You looked at Bob with wide eyes. He pulled you into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. When you leaned back you reached over and grabbed Phoenix, holding her tightly. “Thank you,” you whispered.
The three of you left five days later with explicit instructions that Phoenix wasn’t to take a pregnancy test for two weeks.
The two longest weeks of your life. Finally, two Fridays later, you sat in the back seat while Bob drove Phoenix to the clinic on base to get a blood draw.
Later that night, the phone rang. You looked over at Phoenix, eyes wide. She reached out, hand steady and even, and swiped it open, hitting the speaker button. “Lieutenant Trace.”
“Lieutenant Trace, it’s Dr. Marly. We have your results. Are Lieutenant Floyd and Ms. Coleman there as well?”
“They are.”
“Great.” There was the sound of shuffling paper. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.”
Your jaw dropped. For a moment, no one knew what to do. But then Bob pulled you into his arms, twirling you around in a circle before bending you backward, pressing his lips to yours, smiling.
“You’re going to be a mom,” he whispered as he pulled back.
A tear slid down your cheek. “And you’re going to be a dad.”
He grinned. You turned to Phoenix who ended the call and looked up at you with a surprised look.
Before she could say anything, your arms were wrapped tightly around her, your face buried in her neck. “Thank you,” you whispered, tears spilling down your cheek and wetting her hair. “I just, thank you.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and Bob stepped closer, wrapping the aviator in his arms and you watched the two of them, your heart threatening to crack in half.
Bob called the rest of the team, inviting them over, and less than twenty minutes later the house was full of shouting aviators. You watched and laughed as Bob jumped up and down with Coyote and Bradley hugged Phoenix tightly, one hand over her flat lower stomach before she swatted him away playfully.
Jake entered the room and zeroed in on you immediately, crossing the living room and coming to stand in front of you. “Reid,” he said softly. “I just–”
You closed the gap between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. The room went quiet and Jake’s arms circled your waist hesitantly.
You pulled back slightly, still holding onto his shoulders.
“I forgive you,” you said. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Grudges don’t matter. I’m going to be a mom. That’s what matters.”
And then you pulled him back in for another hug, and felt the relief fall from Jake’s back. He felt lighter and you swore you almost heard him sniffle against your neck.
After the two of you broke apart, Bob crossed the room, wrapping his hands around the side of your neck, pressing his lips firmly against your forehead. You closed your eyes and let go.
Everything was going to work out.
***
The waiting was the worst part. First it was for the first scan. And then it was for the heartbeat.
Every time, you’d sit in the back as Bob drove the three of you to the clinic, his hand firm in yours as you sat on the chairs against the wall, waiting for the tiny bean to show up on the ultrasound.
Sometimes you felt like you were married to Phoenix. Always asking her if you could do anything for her, rub her feet, get her ice cream.
“Reid,” she laughed as you flitted nervously around the kitchen, looking for a snack. “You’re going to worry yourself into a coma.”
You turned to her with a sigh. “I just, I don’t know what to do,” you admitted. “I don’t even know what my role is.”
She stood and pressed her hands against the tops of your shoulders. “We’re all just figuring it out as we go.”
You nodded softly.
You couldn’t help but be jealous as you saw Phoenix’s body begin to round out softly. And you were thankful that she let you in on the experience, lifting her shirt, pressing your hand to the delicate curve without you ever asking.
But it didn’t stop you from tearing up in Bob’s arms at night as he held you. Perhaps you were crying for a lot of things. Not only the fact that you so desperately wanted to be the one to carry his child. But because you knew that at some point, somewhere, you would leave them. And it would be Bob and the baby.
“Bobby?” you whispered quietly in the dark, your naked limbs tangled with his, his fingers threading softly through your hair.
“What is it, honey?”
“Are you going to forget me?” you asked. “When I’m gone.” Then, “What if the baby never remembers me at all?”
“Darlin’.” Bob tipped your chin up so you were looking at his soft blue eyes. “I’ll never forget you. Not as long as I live. You’re unforgettable, Reid Coleman.”
“Floyd,” you said and Bob squinted.
“Why are you calling me by my last name?” he chuckled.
You shook your head. “I want to be Reid Floyd. Let’s do it. Let’s get married.”
“Are you serious?” he asked quietly. Bob knew you weren’t one for marriage or all the bureaucracy involved in a wedding.
You nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I am. Just you and me. Maybe Phoenix. And Bradley can come.”
Bob laughed, pressing his lips to yours, absorbing your laugh through his body. “So everyone,” he murmured.
“Fine,” you said and he chuckled again, pulling you in tighter. “We can have a party after, a small one.”
“Or just us,” he said softly. “Whatever you want, I’ll give you. Anything.”
“You,” you whispered. “I want you. I want to be yours. That’s enough.”
***
In the end, you had a small ceremony out on the beach near where Bob first asked you to marry him. You wore a white chiffon dress that floated in the wind, and Bradley officiated following a short online course to get ordained.
You and Bob had agreed that writing your own vows were cheesy. The truth was, you didn’t think you’d be able to get through them without crying off your makeup.
So when Bob pulled out a small sheet of paper, folded neatly into a square, your breath caught in your throat.
“Bobby,” you whispered, shaking your head. "I didn't write anything."
He smiled. He was wearing a light tan suit with a white button up left slightly unbuttoned at the top, bare feet in the sand, hair slightly longer but brushed back neatly. Bob grinned at you. “Please, Sunny,” he said softly. “Let me do this.”
You nodded and took his free hand in yours.
“Sunny,” Bob said, smiling down at you. “I always knew that I loved you. I think in the beginning I wasn’t sure, all I knew was that I wanted to spend all of my time with you. That you were my best friend, the one person I trusted would always have my back. And then, slowly, I realized it wasn’t just that. I love the way you laugh and the way your eyes crinkle at the corners as you read and how you always have a huge bag of mints in the car that spills all over anytime you try to get one out while you’re driving, and I love the way you always make my birthday so special because you know I would never make a fuss about it myself.
“I have loved you every day for ten years. Being your husband is going to be the most important thing I’ll ever do. You’re my whole world, Sunny. I hope I can make you even one percent as happy as you make me, simply by being yourself. You’re the best part of my day, you’re my best friend, you’re my soulmate. I love you so much, darlin’. And I always will.”
You were sobbing. Bob slid the note back into his pocket, grabbing both of your hands with his, drawing your knuckles up to his lips and kissing them softly.
Bradley pushed a tear off of his cheek and read the rest of the ceremony. You slid a solid gold band onto Bob’s finger. He placed the gold band he had originally given you back onto your finger where you had slipped it off earlier that morning and given it to Jake for safe keeping.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Bob stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you, one hand on your neck, supporting your head. He grinned and leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. You closed your eyes, savoring it.
That was a moment that would last forever.
***
You sat on the beach under an umbrella, wearing one of Bob’s old shirts over your swimsuit, drinking from a bottle of water.
In the distance, along the shoreline, the team was playing a game of pickup dogfight football. You had become accustomed to the yells, the grunts, the almost blinding parade of abs.
Next to you, Phoenix sat on a matching chair, reading a book.
You looked over at her. “How are you feeling?” She was fifteen weeks along. Her lithe, gorgeous body had taken on a small rounded stomach which she rubbed with suntan lotion.
“I’m OK,” she said, leaning back slightly and sighing. “Feeling huge.”
You chuckled. “Well you look great.”
Phoenix turned her eyes on you, your gold ring glinting in the sun as you slid on a pair of sunglasses over your eyes. “How are you, Reid?” she asked softly.
“I’m good.”
“How are you really?”
The truth was, you were tired. Small things felt like they were taking longer. You had started to scrapbook. You and Bob had both agreed that you’d quit your job, time was too precious, so you did, shortly after the wedding. It gave you time to think. Time to shop for a nursery, which you set up in your old room. Funny that only a handful of months before, you had been redecorating it as your room. Now, you and Bob shared the master, his nightstand impeccable and clean, yours littered with mint wrappers and dog-eared books and leftover bottles of half-full kombucha.
You needed more time. You were worried that one day they would forget you. That’s why you had a large photo of you and Bob printed and framed and hung it in the entryway. The two of you on the beach on the day of your wedding. Happy. You hoped that look would last forever.
You smiled at her. “I want him to be happy,” you said softly. “Even when I’m gone. I want him to always look like this.”
The two of you looked out over at the group. Bob sat on Bradley’s shoulders, proudly holding the football, a wide smile stretched over his entire face.
“He deserves to be happy forever.”
She reached out and grabbed your hand. “He’s happy now,” she said. “Let’s focus on that. That's all we can do.”
***
The days were slow and fast, all at once.
You and Bob had fallen into a rhythm. He made coffee while you slept in, and the two of you would sit in bed and drink the coffee when it was ready, the blinds pulled open. You filled your days with activities like painting the nursery or going to the farmer’s market, Phoenix’s doctor’s appointments, your own doctor’s appointments.
There was a conflicting feeling in your chest every time you walked into a medical office.
The doctors were adamant everything about the baby was perfect. You heard the heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor, you opted in for genetic testing.
They were less convinced about your own prognosis.
One day, you and Bob left an appointment and drove home in silence. You excused yourself to go outside, read in the backyard.
When you crept inside an hour later, you heard soft sobs coming from the direction of the nursery.
Your heart squeezed as you tiptoed nearer, Bob’s soft cries plainly heard through the cracked door. The nursery wasn’t finished. You still needed to get a glider and a dresser for a changing table, and you hadn’t bought nearly enough clothes so there were just empty tiny hangers in the closet.
Bob sat on the floor near the crib, the one item of furniture you had managed to buy, his face buried in his hands. You watched from the doorway as his shoulders shook. The way he tried to silence himself.
He couldn’t even hear you over his own tears as you made your way across the room, putting one hand on his shoulder. Bob startled under your touch, refusing to look at you until he wiped under his eyes furiously.
“Bobby?” you whispered softly.
He shook his head. “I’m fine. What do you want for dinner, darlin’?”
“You’re not fine,” you said, sitting down next to him, one of your thighs overlapping his. You ran a thumb beneath his eyes, flicking away the tears. His glasses were smudged and foggy and you felt your heart break. “It’s OK, you know,” you whispered. “It’s OK not to be fine. It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to mourn the things we’ll never have.”
“How is any of this OK?” he demanded.
“You’re right. It’s not.”
“Why did you wait so long?” His voice was climbing. Anger poured out of him. You would take the anger over the sadness. “To tell me? We could have had more time.”
You shook your head. “We had as much time as we needed,” you murmured.
“No amount of time is enough,” Bob insisted, his hands warm in yours. “It’ll never be enough.”
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his. “Let’s just be happy with what we have,” you said softly. “I’ll love you forever, Bobby. No matter what.”
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Children and unpaid labor
I'm hearing more concern about the potential for global population to peak and fall by 2080. All of the analysis points to:
a. medical management of fertility becoming increasingly available, so women/families can make choices about how many kids to have.
b. better medical care and life expectancy, so women don't need to have 5 kids just for 2 to reach adulthood.
b. industrialization leading to high cost of living, so it's harder to afford the cost of raising children.
And then there's a ton of hand-wringing about the coming economic meltdown.
What's unspoken (why? we know why...)
a. When women have a choice to not have kids, we often have fewer.
b. When women have no financial incentive to have kids, we often have fewer
c. When women have to work in the paid labour force to make ends meet, we don't have time to do the unpaid labour of raising the next generation.
How this gets resolved, by patriarchal viewpoints, is to remove the access to abortion and contraception and give families cash payments for having a lot of kids.
How this gets resolved, by feminist perspective, is to recognize that raising the next generation involves work and resources. Women have known for eons (it's literally viewed as the reason we are such social creatures) that cooperation in child-rearing is massively productive. One woman will be exhausted caring for 3-4 young children, but 10 women working together can care for 100 children. Free public schooling removed a big chunk of that cost for families, but in commercialized societies it's still to costly for most families. For once, we need to discuss socializing the real costs of child-rearing rather than acting like it's a private, vanity project that women need to interrupt their careers to take a ten year break to create the next generation. We drive on publicly funded roads to get to a workplace that has no childcare. Women drop out of the labor force to care for children, but that loss of productivity and increase in costs affects only them. That transportation is not more fundamental to society than raising children, it's time women demanded more from society for our work.
We already see this commercialization happening with surrogacy, public schooling, private childcare, domestic servants and prepared food. These things are not necessarily bad, but these changes are happening in a capitalist setting, however, not a feminist one and has no guardrails on exploitation.
Investing in children, for real, means freeing women from the last gendered role that still burdens us. The future of motherhood is about nurturing and guiding our children in a socialized system that supports our role and 'women's work' as thoroughly as it supports fatherhood. We must guard against privatized and commercialized 'solutions' based on economic perspectives that ignore the financial burdens of the 'second shift' that mothers are already working.
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some non-religious people disagree with paid surrogacy as a whole because they believe it's always wrong to rent out a woman's reproductive or sexual organs.
some others don't actually disagree with all paid surrogacy on a baseline level like that, but they disagree with the current realities of the practice, for example, how it's often rich people from rich countries renting out the bodies of poor women from poor countries, how the parents buying the child will often abandon the process if the child has genetic disabilities, leaving the pregnant surrogate mother to pick up the pieces. many people also believe the mothers are not fairly compensated considering it's essentially a 24/7 job for 9 months straight, and on top of that, one that can result in serious injury or death (people often bring up the kardashian sister who paid $10k for a baby, because she frequently spends far more than that on a handbag or a pair of shoes)
Yeah, trust me, you don't have to remind me what is involved in pregnancy :p which is also why for the longest time I've shown 0 interest in surrogacy as it is an intimate and personal choice that shouldn't necessarily require the opinions or consent of uninvolved third parties.
That said, the major concerns that aren't rooted in broadbrush outrage appear to be focused on protecting the mother and child, and I can get behind that. What I have trouble with is using the instances of people who do take advantage of the current system, and people's suggested conclusion is quite literally throwing the baby out with the bathwater as opposed to improving the quality of surrogacy and allowing stronger regulation and transparency to avoid such instances as you mentioned above.
I hope we can agree that just because someone is incapable of having children doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to rear children, as regulated by the state. Yes, alternative options are available not necessarily through surrogacy, but that's a conversation to be had between the parties directly involved, not me or you or religious doctrines. Just as much as pregnancy is a process of both physical and mental commitment, so is rearing a child and it's not up to me who's not the parental guardian to decide what's appropriate or not, otherwise you open up the can of worms on who deserves to be parents or not as judged by the state, which in the USA Buck vs Bell is a very strong indicator that altruistic goodwill without scrutiny or checks/balances will often throw the people that it was meant to help under the bus.
There certainly is a strong gross factor related to the commercialization of surrogacy and I'm not against heavily regulating or investigating such agencies to be held accountable, but I hope there is some meaningful middle ground that protects the parents, the surrogate and the baby instead of doing away with it altogether.
Edit: was recommended a documentary from a mutual called Made in India (2010) that I am going to watch, but figured I should suggest it for anyone else also interested in the topic.
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what are the opinions of the women on elective non-commercial surrogacy? for me I think I’m probably against it too actually. I just don’t think women should have their children taken from them like that in most circumstances. not like I can stop anyone though
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while the internet has given us a plethora a knowledge at our fingertips it has also allowed people to view everything as negatively as possible by viewing individual experiences the same way as broader concepts
i just made a comment on a post about a gay couple doing a ‘maternity shoot’ with their surrogate bc that shit is adorable and someone’s first reaction is “yeah bc renting women’s womb’s and exploiting them is so cute 🙄”
my brother in christ. i am fucking dumbfounded at the length of the jump it took to get to that conclusion
while it’s true that any industry focused on women is likely to have exploitation issues if left unregulated, surrogacy laws are a thing for a reason and a lot of places outright ban commercial surrogacy. it’s also wild to me to look at a happy photo of a couple and the woman carrying their future child and think ‘ah yes those people specifically are the enemy’
like fight for whatever cause you what but attacking an innocent couple for it is NOT the move
this applies to a lot more issues and this is just an example. like you have to learn to realize when the individual is not your enemy
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Sorry I just can't imagine caring much about how women do or don't shave or how often they wear makeup and what kind and what kind if clothes they wear and how "practical" those clothes are or who they like to have sex with when stuff like THIS is happening.
Like I'm not saying no one should thibk critically about the things I've listed above but like some of you will go "no hope for women - we're never making it out of the partirachy" because a woman says she *shock and horror* a woman says she likes wearing makeup and argue fucking endlessly about whether it is self expression or creative and to what extent and it's just so fucking tiring when there's women doing shit like THIS to make money. Like some of the things people are hung up on seem incredibly navel-gazey and like nitpicking when THIS is where we are at. With one the rise surrogacy and no abortion rights and "stay at home girlfriend" bullshit - and that's just in the west lol
What do you think is more structural to patriarchy: Eyeshadow or the culture of sexual subjugation? What is more damaging to women: when other women want to dress "femininely" or "immodestly" or when women actively help build a pedophillic society for little girls to grow up in? A woman who wants to have a male sexual/romantic partner, maybe veen start a family or a woman who thinks sex and reproduction should be commercialized for profit?
Maybe you're throwing the baby out with the bathwater when you tell women who don't look the way you think they ought to or have sex with who they want to or god forbid want to have a baby that they aren't welcome in your movement and you don't want their help when THIS is where we are at? Cutting off the nose to spite the face perhaps?
Alternatively SOME of you refuse to hold women accountable for shit like the above at all, women are just helpless victims to you and imo that is just as bad. Im sure if these women had a boyfriend telling them to sexualize children and motherhood like this you woukd think he needs to fucking die, but if the women do it on their own its not worth getting angry about? You all need to stop living in black and white worlds where women need to either be perfect (by YOUR metrics) or are never at fault and just incapable of hurting anyone ever lmfao
#i dont really want to debate on this im just ranting so if you feel differently please make your own post im not rly in the mood tbh#anyway i think people on here are just as superficial as anwhere else and its why i hardly interact with radblr anymore
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As someone who's male and of course by definition can never get pregnant I'm not sure this is appropriate for me to say, but... surrogacy rubs me the wrong way.
Commercial surrogacy is wrong for so many reasons it's not even funny, but even 'altruistic' surrogacy (I.e. woman does it of her own volition, no money paid except for pregnancy related costs) puts the woman in a very unfair situation because:
A) There's no way of knowing for sure in advance how a pregnancy will go and what complications may develop
B) Childbirth, likewise, complications can happen with no prior warning
C) Even assuming A and B don't happen, you've now placed her in the horrible position of having the baby taken away straight after it's born
It just doesn't feel like something you can ask someone to do in good conscience even if they agree to it.
#surrogacy#apologies if any of this is out of line#the way many couples treat the surrogate mother is wrong as well#and that applies gay or straight
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Greece’s parliament, despite strong reactions to the bill, legalized civil marriage and childbearing by same-sex couples at midnight on February 15. The bill passed with 176 votes in favour, 76 against and 31 abstained.
“I have received countless messages from the LGBTI+ community. Addressing its thousands of members, I want to say that I fully recognise what they have been through and what they are going through over the course of many generations… They were the children of an inferior God,” said Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis.
“Today is a day of joy because from tomorrow, another barrier between us will be removed to become a bridge of coexistence in a free state, with free citizens,” he added.
Under the bill, Greece recognises same-sex marriages, grants full parental rights to same-sex couples that already have children and allows same-sex couples to adopt. But it stops short of allowing same-sex couples to have children via surrogacy in future.
Surrogacy is currently allowed only for women, single or married, who are unable to have children on health grounds. Heterosexual couples and single men and women are allowed to adopt.
Around 130 MPs spoke in the two-day debate, including political leaders, rapporteurs, and parliamentary representatives.
Dimitris Koutsoumpas, leader of the Communist Party, KKE, expressed opposition, saying the new bill brings substantial changes in childbearing and will lead to commercialization.
“The bill is neither neutral nor trivial and does not simply resolve issues concerning the relationship of children who already exist with the partner of the biological or adoptive parent, problems that can largely be resolved with the existing legal frame. On the contrary, it brings substantial changes to what concerns childbearing and adoption in the direction of even more generalized commercialization,” he said.
Koutsoumpas added that the KKE condemned hostility to people of a same-sex sexual orientation, and also submitted specific proposals for the protection of every person from all kinds of discrimination.
The conservative New Democracy government proposed the bill.
The Greek Orthodox Church spoke against it, saying it was step towards the abolition of traditional perenting and the “disappearance” of gender roles.
“The initiators of the bill and those who agree with it are promoting the abolition of fatherhood and motherhood and their transformation into neutral parenthood, the disappearance of gender roles within the family, and the placing of the sexual choices of homosexual adults above the interests of future children,” the Holy Synod of the Church said on January 23.
The three far-right parties, Ellyniki Lysi, Spartans, and Niki, submitted objections to the bill, which were rejected.
Citizens opposed to the bill gathered at Athens’ Syntagma Square on February 15, holding crosses, icons, and placards with the slogan “Homeland – Religion – Family” written on them.
A BIRN analysis of the regulation of same-sex marriage in Greece heard from LGBT families who said that the bill was long-awaited but still leaves out many categories.
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After stories like this break I always hope it will lead to those supporting surrogacy to agree that there needs to needs to be more regulations.
IVF Centers in Delhi NCR: CBI Uncovers Child Trafficking and Fake Doctors in Fertility Clinics
CBI investigation reveals alarming illegal activities in Delhi NCR fertility clinics, including child trafficking, illegal surrogacy, and employment of unqualified practitioners. The probe exposes violations of the Surrogacy Regulation Act 2021 and links to organized crime. This shocking revelation raises urgent questions about regulation and patient safety in the fertility industry, prompting calls for immediate reform and stricter oversight.
Posted byby Ajay Gupta Political journalistAugust 3, 2024
NEW DELHI, August 3, 2024 – A recent investigation by the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) has unveiled a disturbing network of illegal activities within In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) centers across Delhi NCR, sending shockwaves through the fertility industry and raising urgent questions about regulation and oversight.
IVF Centers in Delhi NCR Key Findings
Numerous IVF centers Delhi NCR implicated in child trafficking schemes
Surrogate mothers exploited in violation of the Surrogacy (Regulation) Act, 2021
Organized syndicates linked to organ trade and forced begging identified
Fake medical credentials and forged adoption documents discovered
The Investigation Unfolds IVF centers Delhi NCR
The CBI’s probe, which began as an inquiry into a single child trafficking incident, quickly ballooned into a comprehensive examination of the fertility industry in the National Capital Region. Investigators uncovered a complex web of illegal activities, with some IVF centers serving as hubs for various criminal enterprises.
“What we’ve found is deeply troubling,” said CBI spokesperson Rajesh Kumar. “These centers, which should be helping families, have instead become conduits for exploitation and trafficking.”
A Pattern of Abuse Illegal IVF centers
The investigation revealed multiple schemes operating under the guise of legitimate fertility services:
Baby Trafficking: Newborns purchased from surrogate mothers were sold to childless couples or, more alarmingly, to criminal networks.
Illegal Surrogacy: Despite the ban on commercial surrogacy, many centers continued to offer paid surrogacy services, exploiting economically vulnerable women.
Document Forgery: Staff at several clinics were found creating false adoption papers and medical records.
Unqualified Practitioners: Some centers employed individuals with fake medical degrees, putting patients at severe risk.
Legal Framework and Violations
The Surrogacy (Regulation) Act, 2021, explicitly prohibits commercial surrogacy in India, allowing only altruistic arrangements. However, the CBI’s findings indicate widespread disregard for these regulations.
“The law is clear,” explained Dr. Shalini Mishra, a legal expert in reproductive rights.
“Surrogacy can only be altruistic, with no financial compensation beyond medical expenses. What we’re seeing here is a blatant violation of both the letter and spirit of the law.”
The Greater Noida Gang
In April 2022, authorities arrested a gang operating out of an IVF center in Greater Noida. The group, which included two female employees of the clinic, lured prospective parents with promises of baby boys, a practice strictly forbidden under Indian law.
The Fake Doctor Incident
September 2022 saw the arrest of an IVF clinic owner following the death of a woman during a procedure. Subsequent investigation revealed the owner’s medical degree was fraudulent.
The Egg Donor Mastermind
A 2021 case involved the rescue of a two-year-old child from a trafficking ring. The operation’s leader was discovered to be an egg donor with connections to multiple hospitals in the region.
Implications IVF Centers in Delhi NCR
The scale of illegal activities uncovered by the CBI raises serious concerns about the oversight of fertility clinics in India.
Dr. Amit Banerjee, a reproductive health specialist, warns of far-reaching consequences:
“This isn’t just about illegal adoptions or surrogacy. We’re talking about potential links to organ trafficking, forced labor, and other forms of exploitation. The ramifications for public health and safety are enormous.”
As the investigation continues, calls for reform are growing louder. Experts suggest several key steps:
Enhanced Monitoring: Implement more frequent and rigorous inspections of IVF centers.
Stricter Licensing: Tighten requirements for operating fertility clinics.
Patient Education: Launch public awareness campaigns about legal surrogacy and adoption processes.
Inter-Agency Cooperation: Improve coordination between health authorities, law enforcement, and child welfare organizations.
The CBI’s investigation into illegal IVF centers in Delhi NCR has exposed a dark underbelly of the fertility industry, highlighting urgent needs for reform and vigilance. As authorities work to dismantle these criminal networks, the challenge remains to ensure that legitimate fertility services can operate safely and ethically, providing hope to families while protecting the vulnerable from exploitation.
For the latest updates on this developing story, visit the CBI’s official website or follow our continuing coverage.
#Anti surrogacy#Anti surrogacy sunday#Surrogacy exploits women#Babies are not commodities#No one is entitled to biological offspring#International surrogacy is human trafficking#India#new delhi#Surrogacy creates children with no one looking out for them#Surrogacy creates children without a parents protection
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What all steps Cambodia needs to take to legalize gay and single parent surrogacy?
The legalization of gay and single parent surrogacy in Cambodia could be a multifaceted issue that requires a cautious and comprehensive approach. As of now Cambodia's position on surrogacy has been to some degree unclear, with the government banning all types of surrogacy in 2016. In the following parts of this article, we will investigates the steps Cambodia may take to legalize and control surrogacy for gay and single parents, drawing on real-time cases from other nations that have effectively explored this complex issue.
1. Comprehensive legal System
The primary and most pivotal step is the improvement of a comprehensive legal system that particularly addresses surrogacy. Moreover, this system should incorporate:
Clear Definition of Surrogacy: Building up a legitimate definition of same sex surrogacy in Cambodia that incorporates both gestational and conventional types.
Rights and Duties: Clearly laying out the rights and obligations of all parties included, including the surrogate, intended parents, and the child.
Legal Parenthood: Giving arrangements for the exchange of legitimate parenthood from the surrogate to the intended parents
Real-Time Illustration: The United Kingdom’s Surrogacy Act and the consequent Parental Orders are great cases of a legal system that, in spite of requiring updates, has given a ground for surrogacy agreements and the exchange of parenthood.
2. Inclusivity in laws
Laws should expressly incorporate arrangements for gay and single parents, guaranteeing that they are not segregated against within the procedure. This includes:
Non-Discrimination Clauses: Laws must expressly state that surrogacy is available to all people in any case of their marital status or sexual preferences.
Acknowledgment of Differing Family Structures: Recognizing and regarding the differing qualities of cutting edge family structures in legal terms.
Real-Time Illustration: The United States offers a shifted landscape in terms of surrogacy laws, with a few states like California having comprehensive laws that don't discriminate based on marital status or sexual introduction.
3. Regulating Surrogacy agencies and Clinics
To guarantee ethical practices, there should be strict control and accreditation of surrogacy agency in Cambodia and fertility clinics.
Ethical Measures: Agencies and clinics must follow ethical guidelines, including straightforward cost structures and reasonable treatment of surrogates during same sex surrogacy in Cambodia.
Health and Security Controls: Guaranteeing the health and safety of the surrogate through customary medical checks and mental support via surrogacy agency in Cambodia.
Real-Time Case: In Canada, surrogacy is controlled with a focus on the health and well-being of the surrogate, including prohibiting commercial surrogacy to avoid misuse.
4. Universal Collaboration and Benchmarks
Given the Global nature of surrogacy, Cambodia may advantage from worldwide collaboration and adherence to global benchmarks. This includes:
Following to International Rules: Taking after rules set by global bodies just like the World Health Organization (WHO) on surrogacy for gay couples in Cambodia.
Proper agreements: Shaping understandings with other nations to guarantee the smooth process of citizenship and travel for children born through surrogacy.
Real-Time Illustration: Thailand, which changed its surrogacy laws in 2015, worked towards adjusting its directions with International human rights benchmarks.
5. Public Awareness and Education
Raising awareness and giving education about gay surrogacy in Cambodia is fundamental to develop understanding and acknowledgment, especially for gay and single parent surrogacy. This incorporates:
Instructive Campaigns: Advising the common people about what surrogacy involves and dispersing myths and misguided judgments.
Support for intended parents and Surrogates: Giving resources and support for those considering surrogacy.
Real-Time Illustration: In Australia, agencies play a noteworthy role in educating the public while offering support to intended parents and surrogates.
6. Ensuring the Rights of the Child
Any legal system must prioritize the rights and best interests of the child while thinking about surrogacy for gay couples in Cambodia. This incorporates:
Right to information: Guaranteeing the child’s right to know their origin.
Safety Against Trafficking and Abuse: Executing rigid measures to anticipate child trafficking and abuse.
Real-Time Case: The Hague convention on protection of Children and Co-operation in respect of inter country adoption offers guidelines that can be adjusted for international surrogacy agreements.
7. Tending to the Ethical and Social Suggestions
The government must pay attention to the ethical and social suggestions of surrogacy, guaranteeing that policies reflect societal values and moral contemplations. This includes:
Meeting with Ethicists and Social Scientists: Engaging with specialists to understand the broader affect of surrogacy on society.
Social Affectability: Being touchy to the social setting of Cambodia while defining surrogacy laws.
8. Persistent review and adaptation of Laws
Surrogacy laws ought to not be static but must evolve with changing social states of mind and medical headways. This requires:
Regular Audit of laws: Laws ought to be frequently checked on and updated to reflect current demands and technological headways.
Getting the feedback: Setting up a mechanism to get feedback from all partners, including intended parents, surrogates, and medical experts.
Conclusion
The legalization of gay and single parent surrogacy in Cambodia requires a cautious, comprehensive, and well-regulated approach. Also, by learning from the experiences of other nations and focusing on making a comprehensive legal system that secures the rights of all parties included, particularly the child, Cambodia can take noteworthy steps toward this objective.
Also, such laws would not only give clarity and security for those included in surrogacy programs but also reflect a dynamic and comprehensive position in recognizing the differing types of present day families.
#surrogacy#same sex surrogacy in cambodia#single parent surrogacy in cambodia#gay surrogacy in cambodia
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Marshall Maevik
Pronouns: she/her
Role: Lead Mechanic
Age: 37
Romantic and/or Sexual Preference: Bisexual
Species: Erkuss
Home Planet: Kraysha, born on Kor’Sel’Koo
Faceclaim/Humanoid Appearance: Sujaya Dasgupta
True Appearance: Marshall has warm-violet eyes. Her hair is long, dark, and curly, with bangs she’s learned to cut herself. She has a septum piercing and several tattoos.
Backstory:
[TW: Violence, Death Mention, Paralysis]
Siyan and Oryo Maevik were born and raised in Twarvu, Kor’Sel’Koo among the erkuss population. Their families were tight-knit, the two were best friends their whole lives, and they always knew on some level they’d end up together. They shared a weird affinity for both extinct animals and also repairing vehicles, and by the time they graduated from school and got married, they’d accumulated a lot of money saved together to start both their own business, and for the family they’d always wanted.
Marshall was born via surrogacy, the oldest of four. She and her younger siblings (Holly, Will, and Rick) were named from the old television show “Land of the Lost” which ran from 1974-1977, of which Siyan and Oryo were completely obsessed with. This show gave Marshall a generous fear of Sleestaks as a child, as well as an aversion to most dinosaur-related things, to the chagrin of her dads. They were happy for a time on Kor’Sel’Koo, and then shortly after the birth of her youngest sister Rick, and when Marshall turned seven, her parents found a reasonably-priced building and a good opportunity to open their dream vehicle-repair shop in Ruug, Gaison, Kraysha. And so they packed up all their things and moved to another planet, and away from their extended family.
Siyan and Oryo worked almost nonstop for several years to get their business, Maevik Motors up and running. They showed Marshall and Holly the ropes, and initially hoped that maybe someday Marshall would take over the small company if she wanted to. But it was Holly that showed more of an affinity and passion for the work and the business side of things, and they moved their focus to her, which suited Marshall perfectly fine. Marshall wasn’t very excited at the prospect of becoming in charge of their dads’ company someday, and was content on handing the reins over to someone who clearly was. All this was to say, if none of Siyon and Oryo’s children wanted Maevik Motors, they were free to sell it off, let a board run it, or anything else they wanted to do with it. As long as their children were happy, that was what mattered.
Marshall and her siblings were happy, and they were loved, but they also stayed very busy. Holly worked in the shop with their parents and also worked towards building up the company, Will filmed and edited the commercials and kept the computers and security systems running, Rick was the adorable face of Maevik Motors and quite an actress for their commercials (but actually otherwise had no real work responsibilities)…and Marshall made sure everyone's homework was completed, science fair projects were constructed, parent-teacher conferences were attended, and that her siblings were eating enough fruits and vegetables, just to name a few. Marshall was the glue that kept the family from falling apart. She was aware she was basically the mom without the benefit of being able to discipline Rick, so even though she wasn’t set to take over the company—which by the time she turned seventeen had become successful enough to open a couple of franchises throughout Gaison—she did have a large role to play in keeping their family afloat on top of her own studies. Which is why when she fell in love with Star Fox, it was a very welcome distraction.
Teddy Vorian was in her grade from the moment she joined school in Ruug, up until he applied to and was accepted into the military flight program. At seven years old, she didn’t talk to him out of shyness, and from fourteen onwards she didn’t talk to him because of the massive crush she had on him. When they were seventeen he asked her out, seemingly out of nowhere. Marshall thought he was pulling a prank on her, and so she said no. He was too tall, too handsome. He could get anyone here he wanted. She was surprised at how disappointed he seemed, though, and she went home that night to vent to Holly. Holly told her she was being stupid, and to go over to his house immediately to apologize and tell him she would love to go on a date with him. Marshall borrowed her dad’s motorcycle, and did just that. This succeeded in receiving a terrible first impression with his parents, but it did get the point across. They went on that date, and many, many more after that.
Marshall and Teddy became inseparable. They were each other’s study partner, best friend, and cheerleader. Teddy had big dreams of literally flying away, becoming a hotshot pilot, and getting to explore the world and maybe even the galaxy someday. Marshall didn’t know what she wanted to do, but she knew whatever it was, it would be with him. She made sure to get the best grades and take all the certifications she could, and she made sure he did, too, so that he could become the aforementioned hotshot pilot. When they were twenty-one, shortly before Teddy left to join the flight program, he proposed to her. They weren’t technically adults yet, and both of their parents would have something to say about it. But they didn’t care.
Marshall heard from her fiance every so often in the form of letters and phone/video calls. Occasional visits home. Teddy told her he was going by ‘Star Fox’ now--not by her, though, please. He was the wingman to a very loud, but highly-capable cadet by the nickname of Maverick. Occasionally Maverick would show her face on the calls and Marshall could see the proof for herself. Things were amazing and great, Teddy told her, and he couldn’t wait to graduate from the academy and get married and start their life together. Meanwhile, Marshall graduated with a charm bracelet full of certifications, many of those finance and mechanic-related. She could be a mechanic anywhere. Maybe she could even run a branch of her dads’ company. Maybe she could repair the plane that Teddy eventually ended up on. Marshall wasn’t too fussed about it; she was just happy.
It was a late night in 2009 when Marshall received a call from Teddy’s mother. There’d been an accident. Teddy had very nearly died. He was being discharged from the military, and it was looking like he’d never be able to move his body from the neck down ever again. Marshall was an emotional wreck, and her father Oryo had to drive her to the hospital to see him. Once she saw Teddy again, she didn’t leave his side for a week. Well, aside from when Maverick—Beck, she now learned her real name—came to see him. After Beck’s visit, Teddy became more and more bitter. She understood. He believed his life was ruined, his dreams crushed in an instant. Marshall was bitter as well, but she was quick on her feet. She’d work to support them both, they could live near family, they could—
Teddy threw the largest wrench in their plans, when he announced that they should break up. They had a very large argument—their first, and their last. Marshall yelled until she was red in the face, and until she had no tears left. She wasn’t going to leave him over this. But Teddy wasn’t giving her a choice. In return, he wasn’t going to put her through this. When Marshall was finally picked up to be driven home, her whole family was there for support, stuffed into one car.
It took several years before Marshall could go a day without thinking about Teddy. She’d stayed at home in this time, half-wallowing, half-delving into making sure her younger siblings Will and Rick were taken care of. Shortly after her twenty-sixth birthday, she moved out of her parents’ house and to Rungung to take over franchise operations there. By this point, Maevik Motors had become a bit of a competitor in the field, and it was important to her dads that they had someone they trusted to keep the businesses there going. Marshall threw herself into this work for the next ten years. Getting a few tattoos, delving into divination and horoscopes, occasionally entering motorcycle races, and sleeping around were the extent of her living her life. She never had anything serious romantically, and never anything close to what she had with Teddy. Marshall was and is convinced that it would never happen again. At this time, she was alive, but she wasn’t happy. And her family knew this.
Marshall turned thirty-seven on May 18, 2023. Her family threw her a Barbie Fairytopia-themed party for fun, and at this party they also had an intervention where they expressed it was time for her to do something she wanted to do. Something that would make her happy, whatever that might be. That night, fueled a tiny bit by alcohol and without their parents present Will, who was techy and very good with hacking, found some listings for a lead mechanic aboard a ship whose operations didn’t technically look legal, per se, but it sure did seem fun. Rick and her new wife expressed Marshall absolutely needed to become a pirate and go to Earth, and when she did, to let them know whether humans there actually did have ‘proms’ or not, or whether it was all just a big conspiracy. But Holly was Marshall’s best friend and she trusted her opinion the most. And Holly said, “Fucking go for it. Take care of yourself for once.”
So, Marshall fucking went for it. She secured an interview and a job with a very hot yet somewhat distracted captain. And she hoped this job aboard the Prosperity would be the fresh start she’d been looking for.
Skills: Marshall is skilled in building and repairing vehicles of all kinds. She can also operate many vehicles including motorcycles, cars, trucks, and buses—or various Krayshan equivalents. Up to applying and becoming a member of the Prosperity, she’s even licensed to drive these things. She can speak Flagruu, Shavul, Ein, and English. Because of certifications she took in school, and over a decade of experience, she’s good with math and finance-related things, physical science, as well as leadership skills. In her spare time, she’s picked up being able to read Earth tarot and horoscopes until it’s second-nature, and she would consider this a skill. Marshall is a great listener, has been known to have a sort of calming presence, and has a naturally caring and mama-bear nature.
Played by Hope; 27; she/her; central time
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