#what im scared of is that destiel will ruin me

[cupidswurld]

im rewatching spn but ive never gotten past the penultimate episode of s3 so ive never experienced destiel and as much as id love to, im not committed to opening that.... can of worms. ... convince me otherwise

[ziigee]

It's been a while since i have socialised. For the past 2 weeks, my mind, body and soul has been possessed by Destiel/ Cockles. I have a Christmas dinner to attend to, not family, but old colleagues, literally old dudes. There's no avoiding it.

The problem is I have nothing else on my mind besides cockles (exactly what I wanted, for now). Taking a break from life.

I live and breathe cockles.

Silly, cute, obnoxious, stupid, embarrassing, filthy, messy, cockles images, boom boom boom

That reminds me, change my phone wallpapers.....

Whisky. Lots of it.

Did i miss anything?

💚💙💚 💙

[wormstacheangel]

im suppose to be doing hw but i have a dumb brain so here. have a 15x19 destiel reunion. kinda.

Only a couple of hours after Cas was gone, Dean was still on the floor crying when the portal opened up, and Cas was thrown out of it. Cas lands on his back, and with a groan, he sits up to meet Dean’s red-rimmed eyes.

He looked concerned, but his voice was still even. “Hello, Dean.” Cas started to stand up, brushing himself off as he talked. “So the empty wants your help, and it brought me back as payment.”

Dean looked at him, thinking maybe his brain had finally had enough, and he had gone crazy. “Cas?”

“Should I find it offensive?” Cas walked over to Dean, a hand out to help him stand, but Dean only stared up at his face.

“Cas.”

When Dean made no move to take his hand, Cas dropped it. Instead, opting to hide them in his trench coat pockets. “I should explain that it’s a mess in the empty right now. So many are awake. It’s complete chaos. Too many tried to kill me, and while I did wonder what would happen to me if I died there, I realized I actually didn’t want to find out.”

Dean blinked up at him, confused. “Cas, you just died.” So why is he acting as if nothing happened?

“And now I’m back. That’s usually how things work for us. Now come on, we have work to do. Where’s Sam?”

Cas turns towards the door, ready to walk out when Dean’s phone rings. When the phone keeps ringing, he notices Dean made no move to answer it, so he walks back to answer it for him. Sam was yelling at the other side, panic, and fear mostly. Cas reassures him that Dean is fine, but he needs Sam and Jack to come straight over; they need to meet with the Empty at Death’s library to talk.

He hangs up and hands the phone back to Dean, who doesn’t reach to take it.

“Dean? Are you okay?” Cas pockets Dean’s phone before crouching down in front of him.

“No! No, dipshit, I’m not okay!”

“Oh,” Cas stands up again, making his way back to the door. “If it’s about before, then don’t worry, you don’t have to answer. I’m comfortable with just forgetting it ever happened. I did learn from the best.”

Cas winks at him; it looks forced. Pained.

Dean forced himself up, feeling his muscles tight and sore from not moving all those hours, and strode over to stop Cas from leaving.

“I-I don’t…do you want me to forget?”

“If it will be troublesome for our friendship, then yes.”

“Yeah, it’s troublesome for our fucking friendship, Cas. You said you love me.”

“And I do.”

“Is that…romantic love or-?”

“Yes.” He said it so confidently now, it made Dean catch his breath.

“And you want me to forget that?” he sounded so quiet, scared even when he asked.

“Dean, I’ve been ignoring it for years.”

Years. “You’ve loved me for years?”

“Am I making you uncomfortable? We should stop talking-”

Cas looked away, but Dean reached to take his face in his rough hands. Trying to hold him as gently as he could, wanting so much to grip at him to make sure he was actually real. Actually there.

Then with a quiet, desperate whisper, Dean says, “Me too.”

Cas opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. So Dean spoke again, louder this time. “Me too, Cas. I…me too. I feel-me too.”

Cas lets out a breath he didn’t have to take before Dean sees the tears drown in the blue again. Watching as Cas’s demeanor changed and his stiff gestures melted away under Dean’s touch. Slowly Cas reaches to finally pull Dean into a tight embrace, his chin resting on Dean’s shoulder while he quietly let out a small sigh of relief.

“I thought I ruined it. I didn’t think you would—I never imagined you would see me like that.”

The hug was familiar, nothing new, and yet everything felt new when Dean’s hands gripped at his coat. He couldn’t find the words, but he let himself fall against Cas, feeling both their grasps relax until finally, Dean felt a hand at the back of his neck. Soothing him with quiet touches, they would never have let themselves have before. Lingering over skin, hair, and eventually, they turned their heads.

Noses brushing as breaths mingled together.

The world was ending, but at least they had this. Finally, finally, they had each other again.

Dean leaned in only to hear Sam run in, “There you two are! What happened to the door? Wait, what are you-? Are you two serious?! Chuck just snapped everyone out of existence!”

“What? You found them?” Jack ran in just in time for Cas to push Dean away. Dean tried not to find offense to it when he saw Cas's relief when he laid his eyes on Jack. “Cas! You’re here! I thought-I had a feeling. For a second, I couldn’t feel you around, and I was scared that Chuck took you too!”

“I’m here,” Cas reassured him as Jack walked to hug him. “I’ll explain everything, but we need to go somewhere safe. Somewhere Chuck has no power.”

“The Empty.”

[paneerlajwanti]

At this point you’re more invested in this show than me how does it feel to be sitting in class and only being able to think about destiel

rant ahead 😔,,

tldr: supernatural ( affectionate to derogatory to purgatory)

everyone else dni unless you have something sympathizing to say 🤡,, you know what i will make this a private answer because i probably don't think this should go on there,, or maybe not. maybe this can be a real warning for someone who ironically is like "i will watch supernatural lol"

yeah i have crossed the point months back with a healthy obsession,, i am more invested in it than you,, i can't fucking get a hold of myself.

it's actually unnervingly scary even for me. my college year got over last week and i have a vacation for the next one week and i can see how im so badly latching onto it.

subah savere uthke i get on this site, follow multiple people, cry over essays and gifsets, i read fanfiction while making meals, i sleep off reading stupid shit over social media,, it's actually scary because i don't know where my adoration and obsession ends and my downward spiral begins. im not kidding the brain damage is real.

really was not a good decision when real life started scaring me and i was not able to cope and i decided to enable and level up my escapism and started to watch supernatural, knowing exactly all too well that it will ruin me in ways i don't know how to get back. stupid shit i am. irl sucks? supernatural. supernatural made me cry? tumblr. tumblrnatural made me feel less alone but i don't know. i just. i think its not even a conscious pull down.

yay destiel, confetti it's a parade. but oh god the brain damage. (especially for a person like me who already has an unbalanced reality-fiction ratio and escapism and comfort ships a lot)

i tried to watch other stuff and distract and disconnect, nothing's actually helping. so i think i need to go back to consciously cutting it off like i would in my pre-spn era. follow a selected few number of people, mass-unfollow, block tags, you know the drill.

[castee-yel]

Destiel AU

| calm | soft | semi-canon | word count = 1,178 |

AU that occurs after Mary dies, Castiel distances himself by wiping the hunters' minds.

This is just one of the many random plot lines that formed in my head, this one just resides in my head im a warm setting, so enjoy.

preview:

Castiel hadn't spoken to dean or sam in months, ever since the incident, what had ruined it all, ever since Mary had died due to his actions, he had decided there was no going back for him.

If he was being honest it wasn't what he thought it would be, wiping his best friends minds of the memories he had alonside with them, from hunts to sharing his first beer(s), to watching over them as they slept in crappy motels. He thought throwing all that away would provoke some great unbearable emotion in him that would lead him frantically running back to the winchesters as soon as given the chance, but he was nothing more than just... empty.

Cas, after months of migrating country to country to distract himself, had given up on that idea and now worked at the nearest gas-n-sip 40 minutes from the bunker, where he spent hours restocking shelves and watching the clock tick every day, just hoping the boys would pop in on the way to one of their many hunts.

It was one of those days, where the temperature was just right and cool, the sun was bright enough to warm your skin but not overheat you, and the clouds complimented the the skys pretty blue. The store smelt fresh and the sunlight made it seem a much brighter and spacious place than it really was.

Castiel was refilling the beverage coolers with cans of soda, the rays of light coming from the blinds warming the back of his neck, just as he bent down to pick up another soda from the crate at his feet, the door chime started jingling.

He turned round to go towards the cashier, and said "How can I help you today?" as he looked up, to which he paused, eyes widened a little bit and gulped.

There it was, the rush of blood, his heart heavy, his head light, he felt, alive, it was impossible to keep himself standing up straight without feeling faint. Cas leant on the cold steel counter for support.

"He's here, he's really here" the angel thought to himself, he tried his best to not seem to overjoyed or terrified.

"Hi, my brother and I were wondering if you sell motor oil for that-" he flicked his index finger towards the sleek black impala outside the shop window, "pretty thing outside" he continued, raising his brows and smiling as if he told some form of joke, "I don't want to hurt her engine with any of that low quality crap" the man went on as he chuckled about how precious his "baby" was, practically oblivious of Castiel wincing at his voice and laughter.

Castiel was shut off, he'd been blankly staring into the mans eyes for the entirety of his car appreciation speech.

"So, the motor oil then?" he was brought back to reality.

"Agh, yes" Castiel walked out from behind the cashier leading the man towards an isle at the back of the store, "These are the finest we have, they're a bit expensive but worth the price, we also discount the changing charge if you purchase the oil here and get it changed here too."

He had said this speech so many times it had gotten flat and dull, but he did his best to put the energy back into the words. After all, it was him...

Cas waited as he watched the man pick up one of the containers while quickly skimming through the back, barely giving any attention despite his obvious excessive concern for the car.

"I'm assuming you'd like to purchase that one sir-?"

"Its Dean" He smiled, to which Castiel felt warmth he hadnt in ages, "and yeah, if its as friggin good as it says"

Castiel gave a laugh he had been practicing ever since he got the job, to seem human enough of course, but for the first time it didnt feel like a facade. It felt genuine, and he knew why.

Cas looked down as he he took the bottle from Deans hands and walked towards the cashier, Dean following not too far behind him. Castiel placed the bottle of motor oil on the countertop and started punching in numbers on the till, avoiding his every thought to take another glimpse at dean.

"Y'know, this might be crazy but-" Dean leant foward over the till and lifted a finger "I've seen that face before" now pointing directly at a shaky, half ecstatic half horrified Castiel.

"M-Me?", He chuckled nervously avoiding those eyes and looking towards the sanitary products aisle to his left. "No no I really doubt"

"Purgatory!" Dean exclaimed, mildly blushing, "Thats where right?" He was grinning at the thought.

Castiel froze, hand putting the motor oil bottle in a bag mid air, he was no longer smiling, "P-Purgatory?" he asked, squinting, trying his hardest to seem confused and not scared.

"Miami?" Dean straightened himself so that he was no longer bending towards the man, "Purgatory Miami right?" he asked again, the angel still completely oblivious to his reference.

"I-" Cas stuttered, "I don't think we've met" he finally shoved the motor oil into the plastic bag he was holding for what seemed like years.

"My bad," Dean shrugged, handing over the money for the motor oil with a subtle smirk towards Castiel. He thanked him and strutted towards the door and out into his car.

He was gone, that was it; Cas slumped back into the chair by the till, placing his elbows on the counter and letting his head rest upon his palms as he contemplated:

"He's not dead" he thought, "and he's happy?" now leaning back and looking up at the white plain ceiling. "Miami though, what was that about?" he scoffed to himself, "Guess i'll never find out".

He got up and walked back towards the beverage coolers and continued where he left off, restacking the sodas.

Castiel was relieved, Dean Winchester was somewhat happy, he was alive, and his plan had worked, leaving him to spend his days thinking about the man who had no memory of him.

Dean got into the car to which his brother whined "What took you so long?"

"I don't know man, weird guy," Dean replied, with less of the cheery tone he had from before.

"Weird how?" His brother asked, "our kind of weird?"

"No no Sammy," Dean mumbled as he looked to the back window of the car while backing out of the stores parking lot. "Pretty sure I'd seen him in a gay bar before, he denied it a bit too harshly"

"First off, what were you doing in a gay bar" Sam questioned looking confused but not concerned, "And second off why would you confront the guy?"

"It wasnt like that, I was on a case" Dean avoided his brother's assumption, "And I thought he'd find it funny, nothing serious"

They drove off into the road, and that was that, just silence all the way, the familiarity of the man was never really shaken off from Dean, it was almost like it was printed onto him.

[rogsclogs]

Some Day One Day (Brian May x Reader); part 6

taglist: @brighter-thanthe-sky @im-a-sheerheartattack @fruityfreddie @discodeacygotmorerhythm @killer-queen-xo @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen (if you wanna be added to the tag list please message me)

previous parts can be found under the “some day one day” tag.

feedback is always welcomed and appreciated, next parts coming soon. also if you have any requests feel free to message me, I want to start working on something else too.

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When Y/N started going to class again she felt that something inside her had shifted. She struggled to call Brian by his last name, even if she knew how important it was for her to do so in order to not make anyone suspect a thing. She struggled to pay attention to whatever he was lecturing them on and focus on his words because she knew deep down that he would never call her out on that and that he was looking out for her all the time.

She just wanted to spend time with him in the intimacy of his cozy apartment and stare at his lips intently and mentally begging him to drop his books on the floor and make out with her for hours on end.

There were a few other people who had tried the test with her the first time but failed and had to retake the class, so at least she didn't feel as awful knowing others had struggled as well, but she was definitely the only one getting extra private lessons at Brian’s apartment. Or at least she hoped she was.

Not only could she feel something inside her shift, she also felt that their relationship wasn't entirely based on school anymore and it was starting to scare her, she didn't know how far she could push herself.

She felt that maybe there was a chance he could feel the same, he’d been hanging around her more than usual 

Brian had invited her to one of his band’s gigs the week before, and while she knew that him and his bandmates would be good (if they played with Brian there was no chance in the world they could be anything less than phenomenal) she was left speechless by the talent displayed by all four members of the band, especially the singer, who she thought had a legendary voice and it was absolutely unfair that he wasn’t a professional.

That night she had clapped harder than anyone else at the end of their set and she hugged Brian really tightly when he jumped off the small stage and put down his precious guitar, earning adoring looks from the other guys, who hadn't seen Brian be so affectionate with a girl in longer than they could remember and who obviously had no idea she was his student.

He was so ashamed of himself sometimes that he didn't even tell his three best friends about what was going on, he just told them she was a friend he'd met a while ago and there wasn't anything going on between them (none of his friends had believed him, they knew him way too much).

At the same time, he felt so right whenever he was around her that nothing else mattered to him in the moment, when he saw her by the side of the stage clapping for him and watching him with stars in her eyes and a huge smile plastered on her face he swore he could have died on the spot. How could something that felt so right be so wrong after all? 

That night they had almost kissed. Brian had had a few beers and Y/N was very intoxicated both by the smoke surrounding her and the drinks that he'd offered to pay, so when she leaned in he was barely able to react and step back. 

It took all the strength he could find in himself to act like he didn't know what she was doing, but he kept telling himself what he was doing was for their best and, most importantly, for Y/N’s best who had to put her education before anything else.

One day, once she was done with college for good, they could start a real relationship, it wasn't that hard after all.

They just had to keep to themselves for as long as she was still his student, but after that they'd be free.

Granted, that meant at least two and a half years of suffering, but the price was definitely worth the pain. 

And she felt it too, she felt him stare on her during lectures and she felt the electricity spark between them as he briefly touched her hand when he gave back the graded papers. She felt it all but she didn't want to be too forward and seem inappropriate, no matter how much she tried to convince herself that he felt the same way, there was always a chance that she’d been seeing things that weren't there the whole time.

For a long time he was all she could think about, at least until the day her life fell apart once again and she was forced to face real life again.

One day she mustered the courage to fill her parents in on what had happened. She felt that the time had come and after all she couldn't just keep ignoring the problem forever, they were bound to find out and she wanted them to find out from her.

She sat them down at their tiny kitchen table and told them everything, how she had just recently found out she’d failed it but that she knew from the beginning and in fact she was already attending the class once more so she could retake the test once more at the end of next semester. 

She told them everything with the most calm and serene voice she could get out of herself, but she knew straight away that she was in big trouble. 

Big trouble meant emotional and sometimes physical damage when it came to her family, so when she felt like she had lost control over the situation, she fled her house, looking for a place to spend the night and for someone to treat her right. 

She knocked on Brian’s door at around 2 am, she knew he'd be scared to death to find her at his door in the middle of the night, but she felt like she didn't have a choice. She was strangely calm and collected considering the mess that had happened at home, but it was like the thought of seeing Brian and being around him gave her strength not to break down.

However, Brian wasn't the one she saw when the door opened.

Tiny hands pulled the door handle down and allowed Y/N to see some big curious brown eyes stare back at her in confusion and curiosity. 

Brian’s daughter was standing there in a pink onesie with unicorns all over, a stuffed animal tight into her left hand and fuzzy socks on her feet.

That is definitely not who Y/N was expecting and she didn't know how such a tiny human could have opened the door by herself, but she guessed she might have used some tool to reach the handle.

She wasn’t sure how to react and just stared back at the little girl for a while until Brian came running down the staircase and quickly scooped her in his arms.

“Emily, my God, how many times have I told you not to open the doo-”

He lost his train of thoughts the moment he identified who was knocking at their door at such an ungodly hour.

“Y/N?” The girl couldn't find it in herself to reply, somehow starstruck by the small curly haired human in Brian’s arms who was sucking on her thumb and holding onto her dad’s oversized shirt. Of course she remembered about his daughter, but seeing her in real life kind of confirmed that she was real, she existed and Brian was, in fact, a dad.

The thought hadn't hit her as much until then, apparently. 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He went on since he couldn't get a reaction from her, then he pulled her inside so she could warm up and locked back the door behind them.

“Sorry about her, I.. uh, I think I forgot to lock the door before I went to bed earlier and she's at that stage when she’s just so curious that she would open any door and any drawer she can find.”

Y/N wasn't sure why he was apologizing when she should have been the one to do so, but she could feel him being nervous about the situation, his hands held on tight to his daughter’s small legs anxiously.

She slowly raised her hand to caress the little girl’s head who appreciatively leaned into her touch and smiled at her new found friend. Brian fondly watched the two interact, still surprised to see Y/N but happy nonetheless, plus she seemed fine with meeting Emily and although the timing wasn't perfect, he knew how rare it was for his daughter to be at ease around someone so quickly so he didn't feel like ruining the magic.

“Hello beautiful girl” Y/N said still ignoring the man standing in front of her in his pjs who at that point was way too intrigued by the two girls’ interaction to even remember what they were all standing there for.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” Not that she’d forgotten, but she wanted to make the little girl comfortable around her and gain her trust.

However, although Emily didn't seem to sky away from her in any way and didn't seem distressed, she didn't reply to the question and simply shifted her stare from Y/N to her dad and hid her head in the crook of his neck, probably due to how tired she was rather than the small interaction she’d just had.

“Y/N... this is Emily. Em, baby, say hi to this kind lady, come on!” Brian encouraged trying to get a few words out of his daughter but only receiving a small wave in return.

“Hello Emily, I’m Y/N. You look very cute tonight!” She had never been the best at interacting with children, and the near presence of Brian made her much more nervous and afraid to mess something up when he was watching.

Something about the uncanny resemblance between the two of them made Y/N feel almost out of place, like she was interrupting some family ritual and breaking the silence and comfort of their house, and she was about to turn back to leave the house when Brian spoke once more.

“I’ll take this little one to bed and I’ll be right back downstairs okay? We can talk for as long as you need to. Are you okay though?”

Y/N nodded back at him, biting down on her lower lip and holding onto her left forearm with her right hand and looking back at the child once more, trying to make as little noise as possible in order not to startle her.

Brian left for a while and Y/N was left alone in their living room, so she took a seat on a very comfy couch full of pillows and listened to the man she had grown to love and admire so much say goodnight to his baby girl in a silly voice and promising to check up on her later to make sure there were no monsters under her bed, and although it was just the two of them, in that moment that felt more like a family to her than anything she’d ever experienced in her house.

[wearerecyclebins]

“My Emmylou” a destiel fic

Cut me some slack, I have never fully written a fic before now.

Based loosely off the song “Emmylou” by Vance Joy. I can’t listen to it without thinking of Destiel.

Pairing: Dean/Cas, obviously

Warnings: nightmares, PTSD, blood. just ANGST

enjoy, please, im begging you. comment?maybe?? please????

It surrounded him again. Every goddamn night.

Castiel appeared in the bunker, materializing into a space of eerie quiet. He stood, absolutely still, listening through the suffocating silence and darkness for something, anything, to suggest that he wasn’t being dragged through this again. Then he heard it; the faintest drip of liquid, something that sounded horrifically like blood.

Cas rushed to find the light switch to see what terrible scene lay before him. He felt along the wall, searching, his hand touching something warm and thick as he found the switch. Dread shot through him as the lights came on, and Cas let out a strangled cry: there were pools of blood everywhere on the floor, splashes on the walls trickling down crimson streaks. Cas searched frantically to find someone wounded— or, he shuddered to think, a body— having trouble breathing as he wandered the vacant bunker. He felt as though all the oxygen had stopped being pumped in.

“Sam!” he shouted, his voice straining. “DEAN!” He ran through every corridor, room, even down to the garage, screaming for someone to emerge alive. He even found himself calling out the people they’d already lost: Kevin, Charlie, Bobby. They were all gone, most likely dead somewhere where he couldn’t help, he couldn’t save them. So many people were gone, never coming back, because of him.

Cas had cried out until he was hoarse, and then some, until his voice broke completely. He’d ended up breaking down in sobs on the blood puddled floor, hopeless to ever see his family again. He sat there, wishing that he could change the past, rip it, annihilate it until he had his family whole and alive again. He wanted to decimate all of the times he’d betrayed them, all of the hurt, the damage that was all because of him. Yet here he sat, in the blood that was no doubt of his family; blood that was on his hands where he felt it belonged.

Cas was jolted by an even worse realization; black goo had started to ooze along with the blood. He shot to his feet, watching in horror as black overtook crimson, the bunker, everything. Then voices, blood curdling cries for help that would never come, insistent pleads telling him to stop, cries of guilt and hurt hurdled at him, all by his friends; all of them pierced through his head, all echoing and demanding attention on top of each other. Cas vainly covered his ears, wanting it all to stop, everything. Just when Cas couldn’t take it anymore, a cold voice seemed to shout; “I know what you hate. I know who you love. There is nothing for you back there.” And Cas, as he felt himself fall through the blackness that was once the bunker, couldn’t help but think that the Empty was right all along.

Cas woke in his bed, sitting bolt upright with a piercing scream. He was sweating and shaking at the same time, his lungs seeming to protest their intended function. He couldn’t suck in enough air, the suffocating blackness of his room not letting him remember that his dream was over, that it wasn’t real. He sat, ironically praying, that his body could let this pass, as it had done so many times before. This time was different somehow, and it scared the living hell out of him.

In his panic, Cas hadn’t registered the footsteps running down the hall. It didn’t do anything to ease his anxiety when Dean came bursting through the door holding his gun, ready to shoot.

“What is it? What’s happening?!” he demanded Cas, giving the room a swift onceover before realizing there was no supernatural threat. Looking back at Cas, Dean’s expression softened into one full of worry, but like he’d seen this happen before.

“Another nightmare?” he said gently, more of a statement than a question. Cas didn’t respond, only sat in his bed trying to get a hold on his nerves. He still couldn’t breathe properly. Dean sat down next to him, trying to get him to take deep breaths, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“It's okay, it's over, you’re okay,” he kept repeating, Cas eventually calming down enough to speak.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said, keeping his head down. “You should go back to bed, I’ve dealt with this before, I’ll be okay.” Dean didn’t even bother responding, he just stayed, making it clear that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

“You wanna talk about it?” Dean asked, though he knew that wasn’t the way things went around here. Cas paused a moment, not sure if he could, then he took a deep breath.

“The usual things. My past mistakes, lives I’ve ruined,” he started, not knowing how to continue. “It was just… more than usual, I guess.” He looked up at Dean, his green eyes way too full of understanding. Cas knew they both went through nights like these, and it infuriated him. All of the things they’d been through, the things Cas himself had caused; the nightmares, the PTSD, he regretted every second of it.

“Hey,” Dean said upon seeing Cas tear up, buried in his own thoughts. “I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. All of us deal with this bullshit every now and then; but none of it is your fault.” He looked Cas in the face, imploring him to understand. He wanted to say something else, how he broke while Cas was gone, how he found himself unable to function without his angel. He couldn’t work up the guts to say any of that, however, and just settled on one: “You’re our best friend, okay? Nothing can change that.” Cas nodded and looked down, but wasn’t convinced— of himself or Dean, he wasn’t sure which.

“Thank you,” he spoke up, blinking hard. He felt Dean’s hand tilt his chin up, and they were looking at each other through the darkness.

“You want me to stay with you?” Dean asked after a moment. Cas nodded, not taking his eyes off Dean, his face peppered with freckles noticeable even in the pitch blackness. Dean took his time lowering his hand from Cas’ face, his fingers lingering. He studied the bright blue of his eyes before getting under the covers.

“You comin’ to bed, sleepyhead?” he chuckled. The corners of Cas’ mouth lifted in a soft smile despite himself, joining Dean. He lay there a moment, and shifted closer to the other man, putting his head on his shoulder.

The shock from the nightmare was finally starting to wear off; Cas could practically feel himself breaking. The tears started coming for real now, Cas working to suppress his sobs as they soaked into Dean’s shirt. Dean put an arm around him, pulling him closer.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he whispered, holding Cas tight as he cried. “You’re safe, you’re home.” He planted a kiss into the other man’s dark hair, Cas going to hold Dean’s hand to keep from getting completely hysterical. Being held by Dean, it made Cas’ night a little less suffocating. He knew that he could look up through the dark and see the face of the man he’d loved since he saved him all those years ago.

They laid like that the rest of the night, Dean thinking over what Cas had been through. There’d been nothing but trouble for him since he’d fallen, none of which he deserved. He looked down at Cas, who met his eyes with bloodshot ones. Without thinking, Dean pulled him into a gentle kiss, cupping the angel’s face. He could taste his tears as Cas pulled Dean closer, pulling away after a few seconds. They looked at each other, surprised at what they’d done. Though, the more Dean thought about it, the less surprising it was. He could feel Cas on his shoulder, where the hand print used to be. They settled down, holding each other close. Cas had raised Dean from perdition ages ago; it was about time he saved him too.

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

No Regrets - Bloopers

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: mention of kidnapping, mention of past abuse.   

Word Count: 855  

A/N: This one is part of my No Regrets / Living with Regrets Universe, but it can also be read as a stand alone

It it also my entry for @torn-and-frayed’s Winter with Dean Drabble Challenge and my prompt was wearing his hoodie/clothes

This one is set January 2015, before Y/N and Jensen got married and even before he proposed.

Thanks to the amazing @like-a-bag-of-potatoes for betaing this for me.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

The past few months had been hard, but with Becca now out of the hospital and Jensen recovering well you and Jensen had both returned to work. You were suffering from nightmares nightly, and the flashes of your daughter thrown to what you had feared had been her death still filled your mind during the day. You weren’t the same happy woman that you had been before the kidnapping, but you were trying to be that woman for both Jensen and your daughter. You wanted to go back to being the person you once were and you knew that your depressed state was affecting Jensen.

You hated that. You loved Jensen more than anything. You were happy it was over and that he and Becca was okay, but still a part of you couldn’t let go of it. It wasn’t just the kidnapping to you. It was the abuse Michael had put you through and the fear you had lived with for all those years. The rational part of you knew it was over now, Michael was dead and he could never hurt you ever again. The emotional part of you though, couldn’t seem to let go of the fear.

You pushed it down, but you weren’t yourself and Jensen felt it. You were afraid that Becca even did too at times. Jensen was fighting so hard. He was taking care of Becca every time she woke up screaming and he held you, reminding you of reality when you were torn from a nightmare, clinging to him, scared to lose him and your daughter. You knew he had nightmares too. You did your best to help him, but you weren’t sure you did any good. You felt helpless and hopeless and your smiles were few and far inbetween.

Right now you were standing on set jumping up and down, the cold biting at your skin. Amber wasn’t really dressed for the freezing Vancouver winter, which meant you weren’t dressed for it either. Jensen and Jared were goofing around, clearly happy to be back on set and in each other’s company.

You couldn’t help but smile a little as you watched the two overgrown children dance around infront of the cameras, Jensen flashing you a bright smile, standing just out of the shot where you were supposed to deliver a line from before walking into view of the cameras. Jensen and Jared had other ideas though. They both seemed dead set on making you break, both knowing once you started laughing you were even harder to stop than Misha.

Jensen looked right at you as he did a little wiggle, making you bite your lip, trying to prevent yourself from smiling. Your boyfriend’s shenanigans distracted you from Jared’s movements until one of the crew guys started to yell at him. Jensen turned around and your eyes went towards Jared’s laughter and the gambling lightman, to see Jared having knocked over the lighting, cracking the screen.

“Five minute break,” the director called, making you whine loudly.

“Oh come on?! Five minutes don’t even give us enough time to get back to the trailers and get warm.”

“Blame those two,” the director smirked nodding towards Jensen and Jared and you instantly whirled toward the two manchildren. Both more than ready to make up a million excuses, but before either could say anything, you started manhandling Jensen, pulling off his jacket, making him laugh.

“What the hell are you doing woman?” he grumbled playfully, as you managed to get the jacket off him completely, seconds later wrapping it around yourself tightly with a sweet smile.

“If you and dumbass back there mess up the set and makes me stand out in the cold longer than I have to, you freeze your ass off while I get warm wearing your clothes,” you explained like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“That’s not fair. He was the one…” Jensen started to whine, but Jared just shook his head with a smirk.

“Not my girlfriend, bro, and you were an accessory.”

Jared’s words made you smile, but it wasn’t until Jensen started swinging his arms around his body, making overdramatic teeth chattering sounds, that you broke down laughing. The smile on Jensen’s face reached his eyes, as he took a step towards you, grabbing the collar of his jacket, pulling you closer.

“Me freezing my ass off is funny to you huh?” he asked, smiling not even trying to sound grumpy anymore.

“Hell yeah,” you giggled, causing Jensen’s smile to widen as he leaned in, stopping inches away from your lips.

“God I missed that laugh,” he looked into your eyes and you wrapped your arms around his neck, reveling in his warm embrace, as you pressed your lips against his in a tender kiss, ignoring Jared’s whistling behind you. You were going to be okay. Hell better than okay, you were going to be happy. With Jensen and your daughter. Michael had robbed years from you, but you were going to take back your life. You wanted Jensen and you knew he would do anything within his power to make you happy, just like you would for him.

Jensen Tag Team

@mizzzpink @not-moose-one-shots @emoryhemsworth @sleepylunarwolf @roxyspearing @mysteriously-lost @blacktithe7 @atc74 @mogaruke @fatalcrossbow @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @crushing83 @arryn-nyxx @superapplepie @docharleythegeekqueen @walkingkhaleesi @multifandombackpack @ruined-by-destiel @blushingdean @winchasterdean @iamabeautifulperson18 @theoriginalvicki @feelmyroarrrr @hexparker @vvinch3st3r @shamelesslydean @katymacsupernatural @elevenofmages @jensen-gal @mysterious-398 @dustycelt @ericaprice2008 @adriellej @ashleydivine @waywardmoeyy @storytimewithylva @canadianjelly @percywinchester27 @LessonsOfRed @featherleaf12 @percussiongirl2017 @sis-tafics @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @mayasmedberg @ruprecht0420 @jayankles @torn-and-frayed @its-not-a-tulpa @spn-fan-girl-173 @ryantherandomhero @lupine-princess @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @becs-bunker @sillesworldofwriting @sandlee44 @mariahoedt @akshi8278 @michellethetvaddict @samisimportant @smoothdogsgirl @winchester-writes @amotleyworld @keepcalmandbeajunkie @aubreystilinski @evansrogerskitten @impalaimagining @babyismyspiritanimal @love-kittykat21 @there-must-be-a-lock @highlyfuncti0nings0ci0path @i-larb-spooderman @born-to-be-his-baby88 @carryonmyswansong @super100012 

NR Tag Team

@mizzzpink @the-amaranthine @volleyballer519 @padackles2010 @nothin-after-79 @bloode-money @mayasmedberg @supernaturalismalife @love-kittykat21 @we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @ivvitm1109 @iamflanneltrash @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @edward_lover18 @delessapeace-blog @keepcalmandbeajunkie @thisisthelilith  @im-a-light-child @wayward-marvel-sommer1196 @donnaintx @mariahoedt @clarewinchester @end-lessnights @amotleyworld @dustycelt @whit85-blog @dance4angels @ivvitm1109 @gecko9596 @weasleywinchester-blog @gemini75eeyore @evilskank-inthemegacoven @tiffanycaruso @teamfreewill92

[bitter-blogger]

@poetesmaudit replied to your post “Some people really don’t realize Dean is his own person outside of Sam...”

so many fics (deancas fics cos thats what i read) have dean saying "sam and me" to cas whenever he states an opinion. "sam and me are ur family" "you're like a brother to us" and idk if its the great destiheller anxiety appearing to not care about sam but damn can dean address himself like hes a single solitary person im not done like it happens in the most inorganic ways too like dean could be professing his love and he'll still bring sam into it somehow like........ people dont talk like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I definitely think some destiel shippers are waaay too into including Sam. I can’t tell you the number of fics I’ve read where Sam was awkwardly shoehorned in just so that the writer could say they mentioned him. I almost feel bad like are they bad writers or are they just that scared of being called out for not including Sam?

And can we also talk about how canon does this, too?

“Our best friend is an angel.” “You’re the best friend we’ve ever had.” No, Dean, your best friend is an angel. The show literally cannot give Dean is own friends despite the fact that in all of their friendships with other hunters, Dean is the one who carries all of the emotional weight.

I mean I really think it was a huuuge step for canon when they let Dean say, “we need you. I need you.” because they actually let him talk to Cas one-on-one like that. He hardly ever gets to do that. But then of course I think “You’re our brother, Cas,” said more recently in S11 was a huge step back from “you’re my brother, Cas,” in S6 and the “I need you” in S8 or 9, so inconsistent writing ruined that character development. It’s not even about romance for me in canon. It’s just frustration that Dean can’t have his own goddamn friends. He’s gotta share eeeeverything with Sam. Because Dean is just a prop for Sam. He’s Sam’s stand in at all times. Every move he makes has to relate to Sam somehow.

And by the way? It goes both ways. “I love you. I love all of you.” Loved dissecting this as a destiel shipper, but it doesn’t actually make sense if you’re not reading it as a shipper. Where have Sam and Cas ever been shown to have a relationship? We’re told they do with lines like this, but where has it been shown? And is Mary, someone Cas just met like idk a month ago, supposed to be included in “all of you?” Why? I dunno if this show is more scared of giving Dean his own friends or the fact that it’s Cas specifically and they know that people ship that and don’t want to give them the satisfaction. I honestly don’t know. But the fact that shippers pick up this ugly habit is so goddamn stupid. If I wanted to see Dean used as a prop, I’d watch canon not read fic.

[impala-dreamer]

Whitlock Manor - Chapter Eight

SPN FanFic

~Y/N and the Winchesters work a haunting in Rhode Island that quickly turns into something very unexpected…~

Reader, Dean, Sam

1,253 Words

Series Blanket Warning: NSFW. Sexual Content, Mild Violence, Character Injury.

A/N: Hope you’re enjoying this! Let me know what you think.

Chapters: ~ One ~ Two ~ Three ~ Four ~ Five ~ Six ~ Seven ~ Eight ~ Nine ~ Ten ~

Dean ran through the Manor with Y/N in his arms. He had wrapped her in his blue flannel and cradled her against his chest, holding her tightly as he flew back to the massive staircase, hoping to run into Sam.

He found a plush sofa in the Den and lay Y/N down carefully on it. He pressed his bandana to her head and sighed gratefully when it came back dry. Dean was sitting next to her, holding her hand when Sam found them. He burst through the open door, a man on a mission, carrying Sarah’s diary in his hand.

“Dean!” he called to his brother upon seeing his head pop up from in front of the sofa. “What are you doing? Did you find Y/N?”

Dean nodded solemnly and looked down at her unconscious form.

Sam rounded the furniture and fell to his knees when he saw Y/N. “What happened?” his voice cracked as he ran his hand down her warm cheek. Sam kissed her forehead and closed his eyes as Dean recounted the attack in the garage. When his brother was done he sat back on his heels and opened his eyes, ready to finish working the case. That's when he noticed Y/N draped in Dean's oversized flannel.

“Why is she wearing your shirt Dean?” he asked, slowly climbing to his feet.

Dean fumbled and then cleared his throat, deciding on full disclosure. “We...have been kind of hooking up all night.” Dean cringed when Sam's eyes transformed from concerned to sad. “I think it's got something to do with the house, or the ghosts, I don't know what but it's like we can't control it. She's insatiable. And I can't… I mean, it's not like I've ever really even thought about it before...and then...she jumped on me and… she's so… and her tongue…”

“Stop.”

“Something just comes over us, it's like a cold...pushing hand...and I have to have her...and she's just a bundle of sex and it's like...her mouth is so…”

“Enough!” Sam yelled, stopping Dean's rambling confession.

Dean clamped his lips shut. The silence was harsh. Dean stood there, confused and quiet as waves of anger pulsed from his younger brother. “Wait… did you guys?”

“No.”

“Because you seem a little…”

“Did you have sex with her?” Sam asked with sad eyes, searching Dean’s face for his tells.

Dean shook his head and looked down at his boots. “Not like�� intercourse…”

Sam balled his fists and turned away, his face filling with blood, reddening his cheeks.

“Am I missing something?” Dean asked, looking between Y/N and Sam.

Sam took a deep breath and pushed everything away. He did not look back at Dean, but picked up the diary and handed it to him as he began relaying the new information he had gathered. “Lindsey, the nanny, was pregnant with Frederick's child. She went to him and begged him to leave Sarah and marry her instead. Obviously he refused.”

“And Lindsey lost her shit and started waving butcher knives around?” Dean interjected, flipping slowly through the pages of the diary.

“Yeah.” Sam finally turned back to face his brother. “That's what it looks like.”

“Then why are all the ghosts attacking Y/N?”

“I haven't gotten that far yet Dean.” Sam sighed and brushed his hands through his hair. “Let's just burn them all.”

Night had fallen around the Rhode Island coast. The cloudless autumn afternoon had given way to an inky black sky peppered with sparkling pinpoint stars and a glowing orange moon.

Y/N woke up alone, cold and confused in the Den. Her head ached and she became dizzy when she stood up, forcing her back down to the cushions for a moment.

The dim lights flickered and she raised her eyes to see the spirit of yet another Whitlock child standing in accusation, pointing a short, pale finger in her direction. Y/N shook her head and pushed herself up off of the couch. “What do you want from me?” She was no longer scared, she was tired and annoyed. Her voice cut through the chilled air, ringing through the room, but had no effect on the ghost. “You don’t wanna talk to me? Fine. I’ll just leave.” Y/N shrugged and turned towards the door. Before she reached it, it slammed shut, locked by tiny invisible hands. Y/N rolled her eyes, “What else you got?” She mocked the ghost as she slowly backed up to the fireplace and grabbed the iron poker from it’s place against the marble mantle. “You wanna play? Come on! I dodged all your books and utensils, whatchoo got for me now?”

The child ghost flashed before her, and Y/N swung the poker, shattering the translucent visage in a flurry of sparks. The door unlocked and Y/N spent no time running through the mahogany portal, rushing through the hall, calling for the boys.

“Sam!” Her words were visible in the suddenly cold air.

“Dean! Come on guys!” The wall scones blinked on and off behind her and Y/N took off, weapon in hand, running through the mansion in search of her friends.

“At least they’re all in one spot and we didn’t have to go hunting for them.” Dean had been chatting the entire time they were outside; trying to get Sam to talk to him while they turned over the cold earth. “What’s this gonna be, nine birds, one stone?” Dean laughed and tossed his shovel up onto the ground, pulling  himself out of the final hole.

Sam ignored him, pouring salt on the other bones they had uncovered.

“You just gonna give me the silent treatment forever?” Dean pushed him, brushing dirt from his jeans.

“Probably,” Sam barked.

“He speaks!” Dean joked. “You want to tell me what the problem is, or should I just keep guessing?”

“You know what the problem is Dean.” Sam tossed the last of the salt into Sarah’s grave.

“No, I don’t.”

Sam growled and turned to face his brother. “You and Y/N. That’s my problem.”

“Why? I told you, it’s the ghosts or something. I can’t control it! She attacked me.” Sam looked away, his jaw clenched tight. “Wait… do you… you like her don’t you?”

Sam shook his head, trying to get Dean to drop the subject. “You do! Dude, since when?”

“Since forever Dean! You’d know that if you bothered to open your eyes. I’m fucking in love with her, man!”

The revelation shut Dean up. He had had no idea about Sam’s feelings. They were all friends, at least that’s what he’d thought. Sure, maybe Y/N was a little more gentle with Sam, they sat a little closer, touched a little more often but…

“Does she know?” he asked finally.

“I don’t know,” Sam replied sadly. “I never said anything.” He picked up the red gas can and uncapped it. “I should have said something.”

“It’s not too late you know.”

A loud crash came from the house. The boys looked up to see a second story window shattered, Y/N’s body pressed up against the panes. She screamed, her voice echoing through the dark night, riding the wind to their ears, “Sam!”

The brothers exchanged panicked looks. “Burn them, I got her.” Dean said as he took off towards the house.

Sam’s heart raced as he doused the caskets in gasoline, straining his ears to listen to the battle raging inside.

Forevers: @atc74 @autopistaaningunaparte @bea789 @because-imma-lady-assface @babypieandwhiskey @britt-spn @charliebradbury1104 @chaos-and-the-calm67 @chelsea072498 @chuckangel @cici0507 @clairese1980 @collectivekiera @cyrilconnelly @demonangelimpala  @dustycelt @faithfulpanicmoon  @feelmyroarrrr @flowermisha @freaksforthewin  @frenchybell @fuckyeahfeysand @gemini75eeyore @ghostkitty1103 @im-super-potter-locked @inmysparetime0 @jpadjackles @jotink78 @kristaparadowski @katrodriguez99 @lavendellove @luciisthebest @mamaredd123 @mogaruke @megafrontliner311 @megansescape @mija-novella @milkymilky-cocopuff @mrsbatesmotel53 @my-life-is-here-soo @myfand0msandm0re @mysteriouslyme81 @naadestiel @notnaturalanahi @percussiongirl2017 @percywinchester27 @poukothenerd  @riddikulus-obsessions @riversong-sam @sam-winchesters-long-locks @smoothdogsgirl @summer-binging-spn @superbasementflower @supernaturallymarvellous @supernaturalyobessed @thecynicalnerd @the-latina-trickster @therewillbeblood @tom-is-in-my-tardis @typicalweirdbookworm @thegreatficmaster @vine-colored-assbutt @whatareyousearchingfordean @xxthevampirediariesexpertxx @yearoftheweasley  @youtubehelpsmesurvive

WHITLOCK MANOR TAGS: @too-much-winchester @arryn-nyx @xgarciastarseasunrivgrc @brianaistre  @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian @milkymilky-cocopuff @mrssamfuckingwinchester @plaidstiel-wormstache  @maddieburcham1 @impalaimagining @ruined-by-destiel @adaliamalfoy @ashleydawn131 @tmccarney @mskitty416 @exploratiionist @mrswhozeewhatsis @ruprecht0420 @roxy-davenport @generalgoldfishldrm @mspseudonymwho @deangirl-withanimpala @spectaculicious @daughterleftbehind @calicat79 @revwinchester @xxsexybedheadxx @superromijn @autopistaaningunaparte @grace-for-sale @assbutt-fan @xgarciastarseasunrivgrc @kydamyankee @deals-with-demons @love-me-some-pie21 @casifer-is-king @colorfulobjectenemy @fangirlextraordinaire @cecesnow1 @annice21 @binarygirl0101 @purplejellybean @samanthaneedsanap @pinknerdpanda @clemsonstatemom @docharleythegeekqueen @hannahdygert  @padackles2010 @cosmicpeanuthologram @amyapathetic @amanda-teaches @msdooos @lanielu65432 @shhhs3cret @randomthings077

[gemini75eeyore]

CRAZY LOVE

CRAZY LOVE Char: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Mentioned: Rob, Rich, Jason, Gen, Amber (AC) Warnings: none just fluff Chapter 6 “Really? Are you sure?” You’re getting butterflies in your stomach. “I’m sure. I want to see who I’m talking to and I have a feeling that you aren’t fully convinced I am who I say I am. Jensen” You think to yourself, ‘How does he know that you’re still skeptical’ “Hold on, I’ll be right back,” You’re so nervous. You decide to put some clothes on and brush your hair. You put on a solid black v-neck t-shirt and some PJ bottoms. You got back on your bed and grabbed your laptop. “Ok, I’m back. Are you 100% sure?” you say giving him a chance to back out if he changed his mind. “Y/N, I’m sure. I want to see your face. :) Jensen” “Ok,” You say then you click the video link. When the video opens and you see who is on the other side, your heart skips a beat as you see that it really is Jensen. You are speechless and he can see the surprise on your face so he gives you a sweet smile. “Hey Y/N, there you are,” Jensen says smiling into the camera. You smile a sheepish smile at him and say hi but you can’t hear anything as your voice has failed you so you type it. He chuckled and his smile grew twice as big. “I’m happy to see you again,” Jensen says still smiling. You feel starstruck but you try to compose yourself to talk again and again you can’t speak. “I’m sorry that I can’t seem to get my voice to cooperate, so for now, I’ll have to resort to typing lol,” you type smiling which is probably a good thing because you’d probably be tongue-tied anyway. He laughed. You love seeing him laugh. It’s 1 of the many things you love about him. “It’s ok, Y/N, I’m fine with typing and if you want to close the video, then I’m ok with that too. I don’t want to make you nervous, lol. I’m just happy that you allowed me to see you,” Jensen says with a sweet smile. “Thanks, Jensen. You are really sweet. I think I will close the video but I am really happy that we did it as now I am at ease knowing that you’re not someone messing with me,” you typed. You smile into the camera and wave. Jensen waves back while smiling ear to ear before closing the video. “I’m so happy you let me see you. Jensen” “Me too, I just wish my voice would’ve co-operated, lol :)” you replied smiling “So you said that Amber invited you to come to Pittsburgh, right? Jensen” “yeah,” you say short and sweet because you were so excited that it really is him and you’re kinda at a loss for words. “Great! So do you think you can make it? Jensen” “I have to check with my boss to see if I can get the time off. I’m not sure how long I should ask for, though,” You forgot to ask Amber how long you were wanted at the convention. “Well if you can get Thur thru Sun that would be great but karaoke is only on Fri night. Jensen” You were surprised that he suggested that you be there the whole weekend. You thought they only wanted you there to sing with Jensen. Not that you wouldn’t mind staying for the entire convention. “If I ask for the entire convention time off then I also need an extra day before and after for the drive as I’m afraid to fly. When I went to see you and Jared at EWPopFest in Oct, I drove over 1800 miles one way,” You wanted him to know how much you were afraid to fly and that you were willing to drive that distance. “Wow!! You drove that far?! Jensen” “Yep,” you smiled to yourself because you knew that you were crazy enough to do it again. “Wow! I wish we would have had time to do a meet and greet there. We had to fly back to Vancouver that night. Jensen” “Me too! I was hoping that I could have met you and Jared that day. It’s fine now because singing with you, getting a photo, an autograph, and a hug from you both made up for it. :)” You were smiling thinking of your time at the convention. “I’m really happy that we met in Chicago and that you asked to sing with me. Jensen” You blushed. You were happy. Talking to Jensen again took your night from crappy to amazing. “So, you’re really afraid of flying, huh? Jensen” “Yep, just like Dean, lol.” You have always been afraid of flying since you were in high school. “LOL! So what scares you about flying? Jensen.” “When I was a teenager, I kept hearing about planes crashing so I decided then that I wouldn’t fly.” You said remembering when you were in high school. “Well, I fly every week somewhere so I think they have finally got it down now, lol. I feel safe enough. Besides, if I didn’t fly then I would be stuck in Vancouver a lot and I would miss a lot of the conventions and fans, lol. Jensen” You chuckled. “I suppose so, as there haven’t been as many crashes over the years,” you smiled “So if I came and stayed for the entire convention, is there more than just karaoke that you want me to sing with you? I thought karaoke is the only night that there is singing except for the occasional 'in panel’ singing you’ve done that I��ve seen through YouTube posts.” You were trying to figure out why he wanted you to be there the whole weekend. “No, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t sing throughout the convention. I know that Amber loves us singing together so I’m sure she would make it possible if we want it. Jensen” Jensen thought to himself 'nice cover’ smiling. He didn’t want to tell you that he really just wanted to spend more time with you. He’s afraid of what you might think or how you might react. He wasn’t sure that you would be comfortable. “Oh, Ok that sounds great! I’ll see if I can get the time off. I don’t know how much vacation time I have available but hopefully, I can get the time off. :)” You smiled at the thought of singing with him again and started to remember that night. How happy and nervous you were. You were so happy that you managed to sing flawlessly while your stomach was in knots. You hope that you can do it again. “I hope so too! I hope that this doesn’t sound creepy but I had Amber send me a copy of the karaoke that night. Then I had Jared, Gen, Rob, Rich, and Jason Manns listen to it. Jensen” He was nervous what your reaction would be but he wanted you to know. “Well, what did they say?” You were nervous and curious “Jared said, and I quote, 'Oh My God! That was so fucking amazing! It’s better than I remembered it! We need to make copies and send them to Rob, Rich, and Jason! We need to find this girl and see how we can get her to sing with you again! Jay, you 2 harmonize perfectly!!’ Gen said almost the same thing as Jared when she watched it. Rob, Rich, and Jason were so excited that they were trying to find out how to reach you before they even told me what they thought. Amber said for legal reasons that it was best for her to contact you. We all agreed. Jensen” “Wow! I feel like I will let everyone down if I can’t make it, so I guess I better make it huh?!” You said, smiling at how much they all seem to love your singing. “That’s right you better make, lol. Hell if you want, I would even fly to you and we could fly together then you wouldn’t have to miss as many days if you would be ok with that. Jensen” Jensen pressed send before he thought through what he had said. Then thought to himself, 'OMG I hope I didn’t go too far, I hope I didn’t scare her.’ You were taken by surprise and wasn’t sure how to reply. A couple minutes pass before you reply and you type nervously thinking maybe… “That might work :). Let me first find out how much time I can actually take off and I’ll let you know,” you had butterflies. “No problem, Y/N. So I am actually getting really sleepy now as it’s about 2 am here. When can we chat again? Jensen” “I’m actually starting to feel tired myself and it’s almost 2 am here too! We must be in the same time zone lol,” You didn’t know where Jensen is right now. “Lol, I’m in Austin, TX so it’s CST. Jensen” “Oh wow! I went through the very upper part of TX when I drove to LA to see you and Jared,” you chuckled “Awesome! So I’ll shoot you a message when I get up. I’ll talk to you later, Y/N. :) Jensen” “Ok TTYL, Jensen :)” You smiled and closed the window of your IM messenger. You laid down and closed your eyes but it took you a while to actually get your mind to sleep as you kept thinking about your conversation. Jensen closed his laptop and set it on the nightstand. He pulled the covers up and closed his eyes. He laid there with his eyes closed trying to fall asleep but his mind was going crazy replaying the conversation. He really didn’t want to stop talking to you. He wanted to get to know more about you but he was afraid to ask too much too soon for fear of scaring you off.

@just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms, @crowleysplaythings, @avasmommy224, @atc74, @teamfreewill-imagine, @bringmesomepie, @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, @riversong-sam, @impala-dreamer, @impalaimagining, @haseaufdrogen, @dancingalone21, @hollygopossum, @redhead95, @zoeb86, @hellkat2@catackles16, @frenchybell, @frickfracklesackles, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @ruined-by-destiel, @spn-fan-girl-173, @katnharper, @ddubstepp1009, @curliesallovertheplace, @papizota, @apacik, @stray0cat, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, @deansleather, @littlegreenplasticsoldier, @m5awesomesauce, @cheezbot, @moonstonrmystyk, @donnaintx, @the-great-irene, @dorky-and-i-know-it, @nothin-after-79, @demonangelimpala, @thamiagiarraidhbriosgaid, @emilydank, @mrs-squirrel-chester, @madiisaurusrex, @mamapeterson

[gemini75eeyore]

CRAZY LOVE

CRAZY LOVE

Char: Jensen, Reader, Amber (AC), Rob mentioned

Warning: Foul Language which will be in pretty much every chapter; not intended for those not used it

Chapter 4

Jensen downloaded you and him singing 'Crazy Love' to his phone and then decided to listen to it. As he listens to the lyrics of you 2 singing...

   I can hear her heartbeat from a thousand miles    And the heavens open every time she smiles    And I'm running to her    That's where I belong    I'm running to her like a river's song    She give me love, love, love, love    Crazy love

He starts thinking how much he really wants to talk to you. After the call with Amber, he now knows your name, what city and state you live in so he decides to try to google you. Not finding more precise info and not having more info to narrow the search, he sighs. Then it dawns on him that maybe you might be on social media sites. He starts searching on Twitter. He thinks he might have found you but he's not sure because you don't have any personal pics. He decided to follow the account he found and if he found out that it wasn't really you then he could stop following it. Then he tries Facebook. He thinks he found your FB account. The pics look like they might be a little older but he's pretty sure they're of you. You don't have a lot of pics on your FB profile. However, the ones on there have grabbed his attention and he is just sitting there staring at them almost mesmerized. He's looking at your lips and starts to imagine what it would be like to kiss them. Then he imagines his hands in your hair while he kisses your lips, slipping his tongue past them. Then pulling back gently biting your bottom lip while looking into your beautiful Y/E/C eyes and getting lost in your gaze. He can imagine being lost in them for hours. He gazes into your eyes for a few more minutes then decides to send you a friend request from his personal account. He hopes that you will accept his request not thinking that it's a hoax. He also sends you an IM request hoping that you'll respond.

It's been 5 days since you talked to Amber at Creations Entertainment on that really odd call and you haven't heard from anyone else. You're still binge watching "True Blood" in your free time. You prefer to stick 1 show at a time. While watching "True Blood", your FB messenger notifies you that you have a message and a friend request. When you see who it's from, you just stare at the screen thinking that there's no way in hell Jensen Ackles sent you a friend request. You sat there staring at the screen for probably 5 minutes trying to decide if you were going to accept them. You decided to click on the profile to see if you could tell from it if it really was him. It didn't have much on his friend's list of which were Jared and Gen, mainly fellow cast members previous and current, and very few none famous people. You decided to take the chance as you could always unfriend the account and block it if it turned out not him. And if it turned out to not be him then you would try to report it. You typed a simple "Hello, Jensen" in messenger after accepting the requests then you closed the IM window and FB not signing out so you would be notified of any messages. You decided to go back to watching "True Blood" and that's when Amber called. You saved the number in your phone just in case so when you saw it was her calling you paused your computer and answered the phone. Amber was pleasant to talk to. "Y/N, I talked to Rob and the guys and we decided it would be best for me to call since I've already spoken to you. I'm calling because of the duet you sang with Jensen, "Crazy Love" she said, and paused. "Yes," you said, and wondering why she was calling specifically about that. "First of all, I have to tell you that I was there. I heard you and Jensen singing. And I have to tell you that I couldn't believe my ears! I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Y/N your voice is the most beautiful voice I've heard in years! You and Jensen harmonized so well and especially for never meeting prior to stepping on that stage and singing together. Y/N it's like your voices were made for each other!" "Th-thank you," you stumbled to say. You knew that your voice was pretty good but you didn't think you were that great let alone to get that kind of praise from a complete stranger. Your family would praise your singing but they were family so it was harder to believe. "Y/N, the guys asked me to get in touch with you because we all want to hear you sing with Jensen again. We were thinking maybe at the Creation Convention next month in Pittsburgh, PA." Amber said hopefully "When is it? I don't know how much vacation time I have available. Plus getting there can be difficult. I drove over 1800 miles one way to the EWPopFest in Oct to see Jensen and Jared because I'm scared to fly." "It's Sept 8-10 and Creation will take care of your transportation, lodging, and food. No worries. We really want to hear you 2 sing together again. So what do you say? Please say yes!" Amber says excitedly hopeful "My only hang up is I need to see if I can get the time off. Can you give me a day to find out if I can get the time off?" you ask hopefully "I understand and will let the guys know. 1 more question." "Yes," you say with a slight questioning in your voice. "If you don't mind, Where do you work?" Amber asks. "Casey's kitchen, why?" you ask. "Oh, no reason." Amber asks then says, "I love Casey's Pizza! Do you make the pizza?" "Yep I sure do," You say with a smile and relieved that you didn't do anything wrong. "One more thing, Amber, do I call you back on this number or do you want to call me back in a couple days so I can let you know?" you ask. "You can call me and leave me a message if I don't answer. And, Y/N, I really hope you can make it! If you tell me you'll be there then I will be there too as I would like to meet you in person! Bye for now," Amber said with a pleasant excitement.

After you finished your call with Amber, you noticed that you had a message on IM and heart froze when you saw the name. It was Jensen Ackles. As you clicked it you took a deep breath and held it. You held it while you read the message. The message said "Hello Y/N, First I want to thank you for accepting my friend request as I know you may think that it could be anyone else claiming to be me. I hope to reassure that I am Jensen. I also decided to follow what I hope to be your Twitter account. And now I sound like a stalker, Son of Bitch!! {you released the breath you were holding and chuckled} I'm sorry Y/N. If you don't want to talk to me after this I understand. I wouldn't blame you but if you don't block me I would love to talk you. I got your name from talking to Amber with Creation Entertainment and God I know this is probably a little creepy but I decided to look you up on Facebook because I wanted to talk to you but everyone thought it was best that only Amber talk to you about singing with me. I am sorry if I upset you but I really just want to talk to you. If you're not ok with this please tell me now I won't message you anymore." Jensen... You had to admit it did creep you out a little but you've loved this man for years at a distance and then when you had the chance to sing with him and hug him you took it but never in a million years did you imagine that he would go out of his way to speak to you. However, you were also very excited at the thought of him wanting to talk to you. It kinda sounds like it could be Jensen and you couldn't begin to know how anyone would know about the call from Creation as you hadn't said anything to anyone at all so could this truly be Jensen reaching out to you to talk to you? You decide to message him back but keep it simple and feel him out to be sure. "Hi Jensen, I was surprised by you contacting me. How are you?" You kept it simple not trying too hard or coming off like some fangirl even though she was jumping up and down inside you right now. You closed the window as you had no idea how long it would be before he might reply and you didn't want to seem too eager either. You pulled up the window that had "True Blood" paused and started to watch it again. You only got to watch about 10 minutes of it before Jensen replied. You couldn't believe how quickly he replied. "Hey Y/N, I'm so happy you decided to talk to me and not block me! I'm fine by the way. How are you? Did Amber call you back to see if you can come sing with me again? I hope so! :) Jensen"

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[gemini75eeyore]

CRAZY LOVE

CRAZY LOVE

Char: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Mentioned: Rob, Rich, Jason, Gen, Amber (AC)

Warnings: none just fluff

Chapter 6

"Really? Are you sure?" You're getting butterflies in your stomach. "I'm sure. I want to see who I'm talking to and I have a feeling that you aren't fully convinced I am who I say I am. Jensen" You think to yourself, 'How does he know that you're still skeptical' "Hold on, I'll be right back," You're so nervous. You decide to put some clothes on and brush your hair. You put on a solid black v-neck t-shirt and some PJ bottoms. You got back on your bed and grabbed your laptop. "Ok, I'm back. Are you 100% sure?" you say giving him a chance to back out if he changed his mind. "Y/N, I'm sure. I want to see your face. :) Jensen" "Ok," You say then you click the video link. When the video opens and you see who is on the other side, your heart skips a beat as you see that it really is Jensen. You are speechless and he can see the surprise on your face so he gives you a sweet smile. "Hey Y/N, there you are," Jensen says smiling into the camera. You smile a sheepish smile at him and say hi but you can't hear anything as your voice has failed you so you type it. He chuckled and his smile grew twice as big. "I'm happy to see you again," Jensen says still smiling. You feel starstruck but you try to compose yourself to talk again and again you can't speak. "I'm sorry that I can't seem to get my voice to cooperate, so for now, I'll have to resort to typing lol," you type smiling which is probably a good thing because you'd probably be tongue-tied anyway. He laughed. You love seeing him laugh. It's 1 of the many things you love about him. "It's ok, Y/N, I'm fine with typing and if you want to close the video, then I'm ok with that too. I don't want to make you nervous, lol. I'm just happy that you allowed me to see you," Jensen says with a sweet smile. "Thanks, Jensen. You are really sweet. I think I will close the video but I am really happy that we did it as now I am at ease knowing that you're not someone messing with me," you typed. You smile into the camera and wave. Jensen waves back while smiling ear to ear before closing the video. "I'm so happy you let me see you. Jensen" "Me too, I just wish my voice would've co-operated, lol :)" you replied smiling "So you said that Amber invited you to come to Pittsburgh, right? Jensen" "yeah," you say short and sweet because you were so excited that it really is him and you're kinda at a loss for words. "Great! So do you think you can make it? Jensen" "I have to check with my boss to see if I can get the time off. I'm not sure how long I should ask for, though," You forgot to ask Amber how long you were wanted at the convention. "Well if you can get Thur thru Sun that would be great but karaoke is only on Fri night. Jensen" You were surprised that he suggested that you be there the whole weekend. You thought they only wanted you there to sing with Jensen. Not that you wouldn't mind staying for the entire convention. "If I ask for the entire convention time off then I also need an extra day before and after for the drive as I'm afraid to fly. When I went to see you and Jared at EWPopFest in Oct, I drove over 1800 miles one way," You wanted him to know how much you were afraid to fly and that you were willing to drive that distance. "Wow!! You drove that far?! Jensen" "Yep," you smiled to yourself because you knew that you were crazy enough to do it again. "Wow! I wish we would have had time to do a meet and greet there. We had to fly back to Vancouver that night. Jensen" "Me too! I was hoping that I could have met you and Jared that day. It's fine now because singing with you, getting a photo, an autograph, and a hug from you both made up for it. :)" You were smiling thinking of your time at the convention. "I'm really happy that we met in Chicago and that you asked to sing with me. Jensen" You blushed. You were happy. Talking to Jensen again took your night from crappy to amazing. "So, you're really afraid of flying, huh? Jensen" "Yep, just like Dean, lol." You have always been afraid of flying since you were in high school. "LOL! So what scares you about flying? Jensen." "When I was a teenager, I kept hearing about planes crashing so I decided then that I wouldn't fly." You said remembering when you were in high school. "Well, I fly every week somewhere so I think they have finally got it down now, lol. I feel safe enough. Besides, if I didn't fly then I would be stuck in Vancouver a lot and I would miss a lot of the conventions and fans, lol. Jensen" You chuckled. "I suppose so, as there haven't been as many crashes over the years," you smiled "So if I came and stayed for the entire convention, is there more than just karaoke that you want me to sing with you? I thought karaoke is the only night that there is singing except for the occasional 'in panel' singing you've done that I've seen through YouTube posts." You were trying to figure out why he wanted you to be there the whole weekend. "No, but that doesn't mean that we can't sing throughout the convention. I know that Amber loves us singing together so I'm sure she would make it possible if we want it. Jensen" Jensen thought to himself 'nice cover' smiling. He didn't want to tell you that he really just wanted to spend more time with you. He's afraid of what you might think or how you might react. He wasn't sure that you would be comfortable. "Oh, Ok that sounds great! I'll see if I can get the time off. I don't know how much vacation time I have available but hopefully, I can get the time off. :)" You smiled at the thought of singing with him again and started to remember that night. How happy and nervous you were. You were so happy that you managed to sing flawlessly while your stomach was in knots. You hope that you can do it again. "I hope so too! I hope that this doesn't sound creepy but I had Amber send me a copy of the karaoke that night. Then I had Jared, Gen, Rob, Rich, and Jason Manns listen to it. Jensen" He was nervous what your reaction would be but he wanted you to know. "Well, what did they say?" You were nervous and curious "Jared said, and I quote, 'Oh My God! That was so fucking amazing! It's better than I remembered it! We need to make copies and send them to Rob, Rich, and Jason! We need to find this girl and see how we can get her to sing with you again! Jay, you 2 harmonize perfectly!!' Gen said almost the same thing as Jared when she watched it. Rob, Rich, and Jason were so excited that they were trying to find out how to reach you before they even told me what they thought. Amber said for legal reasons that it was best for her to contact you. We all agreed. Jensen" "Wow! I feel like I will let everyone down if I can't make it, so I guess I better make it huh?!" You said, smiling at how much they all seem to love your singing. "That's right you better make, lol. Hell if you want, I would even fly to you and we could fly together then you wouldn't have to miss as many days if you would be ok with that. Jensen" Jensen pressed send before he thought through what he had said. Then thought to himself, 'OMG I hope I didn't go too far, I hope I didn't scare her.' You were taken by surprise and wasn't sure how to reply. A couple minutes pass before you reply and you type nervously thinking maybe... "That might work :). Let me first find out how much time I can actually take off and I'll let you know," you had butterflies. "No problem, Y/N. So I am actually getting really sleepy now as it's about 2 am here. When can we chat again? Jensen" "I'm actually starting to feel tired myself and it's almost 2 am here too! We must be in the same time zone lol," You didn't know where Jensen is right now. "Lol, I'm in Austin, TX so it's CST. Jensen" "Oh wow! I went through the very upper part of TX when I drove to LA to see you and Jared," you chuckled "Awesome! So I'll shoot you a message when I get up. I'll talk to you later, Y/N. :) Jensen" "Ok TTYL, Jensen :)" You smiled and closed the window of your IM messenger. You laid down and closed your eyes but it took you a while to actually get your mind to sleep as you kept thinking about your conversation.

Jensen closed his laptop and set it on the nightstand. He pulled the covers up and closed his eyes. He laid there with his eyes closed trying to fall asleep but his mind was going crazy replaying the conversation. He really didn't want to stop talking to you. He wanted to get to know more about you but he was afraid to ask too much too soon for fear of scaring you off.

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