#what if i just. dont have ulterior motives
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YESSSSSSSS YES YES GOD. OH MY GODDDDDD. RIPPING MY SHIRT OFF LIKE THE HULK. YOU GET IT OP. I LOVE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS (Says the aroace guy . Like okay fork found in kitchen cmon now)
No cuz LISTEN. romance and attraction is something that is constantly front in center in society as a whole….its a lot more understood than friendship or familial relationships. so it probably makes SENSE to hugo at least in concept.
Attraction is understood by a lot of people as like a biological instinct (And obviously its more complex than that but thats the most Basic idea thats been held for most of history i think). And hugos definitely been Attracted to people before. I think he kind of just sees it as a nuisance tbh. He just tries to gaslight himself into pretending it isnt there.
But platonic love….you dont have that physical reaction yknow??? I mean ive had what i can describe as platonic “crushes” before but it’s different….It could be different for other people ofc but in my experience platonic love kind of sneaks up on you. You might not even really notice its there. One day you’ll just be looking at someone and you’re like, “oh yeah. This one. Theyre the one. Theyre safe.”
They affect you in little ways. like influencing the way you think or the way you speak and you dont notice until someone points it out. You’ll pick up on words they use and everyday things will make you think of them. ITS JUST. GAH!!! I LOVE PLATONIC LOVE!!
I think platonic love is SUCH an important part of hugo’s general role in the story because like….This isnt his first rodeo remember? Hes done jobs for donella before. Hes probably crushed on a few people before. Maybe even people hes worked with. But clearly its never affected his performance before. none of these crushes have Permanently rewired his brain and this perspective he has of the world.
The reason team radical has such an impact on him is NOT just bc she’s gay for varian. It’s bc ALL OF THEM are the first people who have just Genuinely cared about her, with no ulterior motives, no strings attached, no romantic connotations, no nothing. Theyre the first people she’s actually connected with and felt like she could be herself around. and they’re the first to actually able to counter these mindsets that are so Natural to her- these mindsets that it’s every man for himself, that relationships are all temporary, and that she’s not fundamentally deserving of love. Varian, nuru and yong showed hugo a new perspective on life. ALL OF THEM DID!! NOT JUST VARIAN!!!
Its why platonic varigo is genuinely so important to me and one of the reasons i think varigo are the “best friends first/lovers second” kind of couple. its also why i dont really like them having chemistry like right off the bat. Because like…Them being friends first is the only reason their relationship as it is is even possible. Neither of them really had friends their age before and thats Why they really connect.
if it wasn’t for varian just…being a good friend, and him, nuru and yong all collectively showing hugo this new outlook on life….team radical would have just been another means to an end. Sure maybe hugo would’ve had a little crush on varian or found him attractive, but it wouldn’t have made him like, quit his whole job. He would’ve just done the work and moved on with his life. he wouldn’t have FALLEN IN LOVE like he did. Love and attraction are two different things and hugo didnt just have a crush on varian, he fell in love with him. and he fell in love (platonically, of course) with yong and nuru too.
THATS what changed him!!! Genuine human connection and love!!! It had nothing to do with romance!!! And i feel like people just tend to focus on the yaoi or whatever when like…It means nothing if we aren’t seeing hugo form these bonds with the group as a whole and watching his outlook change as a result! without the core feature of genuine human connection and friendship the yaoi wouldn’t even EXIST!!! 😭😭😭
I especially need more library/betrayal scenes with the whole group bc it genuinely makes me so mad when they’re Just about varigo and nuru and yong are just. Left behind? NOBODY EVER WRITES NURU AND YONG REACTING TO THE BETRAYAL…..NOBODY WRITES THEM HELPING HUGO WHEN VARIAN GETS POSSESSED. THEY’RE JUST. LEFT BEHIND AND THEN THEY SHOW UP AT THE END WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR GROUP HUG OR WHATEVER….SOMETIMES NOT EVEN THAT!!!
IT BREAKS MY HEART BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT JUST SIDE PIECES TO VARIGO!!! 😭😭😭 GAHHH. I NEED MORE TEAM RADICAL JUST ALL BEING BEST FRIENDS AND LOVING EACH OTHER!!!!! I NEED YONG AND NURU TO PLAY A PART IN THESE MAJOR PLOT POINTS TOO!!!!
I feel like we don't talk about how Hugo would be weirded out by the concept of having friends enough. Like we all pretty much agree that Donella, while maybe not being outright abusive, was at least not an amazing parent figure and made Hugo live a life that wasn't super healthy. But I haven't really seen anyone talk about how he probably has never felt platonic love.
I like the idea that it wasn't Varian that convinced Hugo to leave Donella, it was Nuru and Yong.
Hugo would have at least had a crush before, if not an actual relationship, he's aware that liking someone made you want to do stupid stuff, like quit your job, abandon your mother figure, and live with them for the rest of your life, but wanting to do that sort of stuff for someone you have no attraction to whatsoever? Huh?
I just love the idea that while Varian was a huge part in changing Hugo, it took friendship with no hint of romantic connotations to finally win Hugo over.
#pansy rambling again#hugo rottewange#vat7k hugo#varian and the 7 kingdoms#varian and the seven kingdoms#vat7k yong#vat7k nuru#team radical#varigo#varian
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satoru being one of those kids who was picked on and embarrassed with those cruel jokes. the “so and so likes you/wants to be friends with you” ones, and when he goes up to them all excited like “wow new friend!!” they just end up embarrassing him in front of everyone because ��why would i like you? or want to be friends with you? you’re super weird.” the entire class is laughing at him. he’s humiliated.
and now, as an adult, satoru struggles with telling when someone is being genuine to him. not many are, most people don’t care to be around him which hurts in and of itself, but it hurts even worse when they pretend to like him only to end up betraying or disappointing him later. so when you come along, and he watches you approach him every day with a big smile and try and talk to him and you ask him if he wants to grab lunch together or hang out, satoru prepares himself for the worst.
he tries not to let himself get attached to you, and your friendly face, and the way you laugh at him because no one has ever laughed with him before, and those knowing stares you always give because satoru just knows one of these days you’re going to grow bored and leave him like everyone else has.
he keeps himself stuck in a constant state of denial, not realizing that your actions are indeed genuine and your motives are pure.
#everyone say thank u Logan bc they sent me the worst tiktok ever and I’m sad#CHOOSE HIM!!!! DO NOT BE MEAN TO HIM OKAY OR I WILL SHOW UP AT YOUR HOUSE.#he has these super high walls up around his heart#every time someone shows him even the most basic kindness#satoru instantly believes they have ulterior motives. they’re going to embarrass him. they want something from him.#they dont want him for him it’s just what he can do for them#⋆。゚☁︎ summy is thinking . . . 。⋆#gojo satoru imagine#satoru angst#satoru imagine#satoru gojo imagine#satoru gojo angst#gojo x reader
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Ooh btw when I went out with my friends the other night we were waiting for a bus at one point. An extremely pretty girl was waiting for it a few metres away from us... I noticed her existing as you do pretty girls when you are a Homosexual (🫣) but was mostly focused on talking to my friends and stuff. Well suddenly she came up to us and I noticed she was actually kinda crying (!! 🥺) and asked if any of us had a tissue. I am always prepared esp fresh off my sneezy Vienna trip, so I gave her a plastic-wrapped pack, unopened and all... she was very grateful (asking if she could really keep it all - I said it was fine and even got to use the tdv sarah "you can have it, i've got two" line because I did have two hehehe success everyone inside my brain clapped) but she struggled to open it because long acrylic nails! So I offered to help again and she gave it back to me and our fingers brushed a bit and I tore the plastic cover open with my long short-nailed sexy lesbian fingers 😌 and gave it back hehe.
Anyway I feel like this all would've been a queercoded metaphor if it was fictional but because it's real life we went our separate ways never to meet again 😌 but I was still kind of thinking about her at the club 🥹 and when we were taking the train home with my friend at 5:50 am I was kind of talking about her JSKFLDLFLFL omg kinda creepy tbh esp since I wasn't even drunk 💀 Well my friend was drunk so maybe she already forgot about it. I hope that girl is less sad now and believes in the good in humanity 😌❤️
#🤣🤣🤣 this is what you hyperfixate on when you're too mentally ill to meet people for dates sjkdkdlflf#that and straight girls 💀 there is a cute straight girl in my programme that's very touchy (maybe because she's french) and this week#her cute straight friend (well she has a bf but i'm assuming straight lmao) was visiting her 😭😂😂😂#i talked to her for like an hour about castles and the cote d'azur 😌#also omg not to return to the tissues and this is tmi but my ex gf also gave me one of those plastic packs at least once 😭 akdkdlld#(i dont remember if it was because i was sick or if it was when we broke up and i was crying 💀 it was nice either way 🥺)#so um yeah i guess i was just paying forward good gay karma 😌😌#akdkdldllf idk being undercover gay is weird. i think its nice to be able to interact w girls and not have them assume ulterior motives#(which i dont really have... like if i'm white knighting i'm just doing it for my own satisfaction/enjoyment 💀😭😂)#but yeah i feel like straight girls you just met will interact w you in a girl talk way and then you're secretly a bit into them whoops 🤡🤣#personal#ramble
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like he's literally their guard dog do you get it. do you understand. this shit is making me crazy
#what kind of a homotron do you have to be to put yourself in active danger in order to protect your ex and his new girlfriend like that#i have so many questions about week 7 WHERE DID HE COME FROM#IS HE JUST FOLLOWING BF AND GF AROUND MAKING SURE THEY DONT DIE OUT OF STUPIDITY#motherfucker I KNOW WHAT YOU AREEEEEEEEEE#on some level i want to make fun of him for being pathetic but at the same time it kind of makes me crazy#like the selflessness of it all is whats driving me nuts. he doesnt rlly seem to be looking to get back w bf#and while im sure he has complicated feelings towards gf he doesnt seem to hold any specific ill will towards her#he literally isnt looking for anything in return hes literally PUTTING HIMSELF AT RISK AND ALSO LOSING OUT ON A SHIT TON OF#MONEY JUST TO KEEP BF SAFE. theres literally no ulterior motives he just. cares about bf and wants him to be safe#even after WHATEVER happened with them in the past. even now that bf is with someone else#hes just decided to stick around and help keep them safe. entirely of his own volition expecting nothing in return CAN ANYONE HEAR ME.#im gonna throw upppppp brother why did they accidentally make this shit so good#serena.txt
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fauaki send post
#stardust speaking !#i had more to say cuz this one fauaki comic was UNREAL (positive) but i then checked the new log of#The Really Really Good misuaki artist if uve seen some misuakis u surely know whicj artist#so now its superlate but auuurrggghhh fauaki..............the fauakis in pt2 r unreal. UNREAL!!!!#spoiler talk<33333 but faust helping akira when theyre panicking they cant help shylock....?!?!?!#the twins suggestion. akira acting on it immediadetly cuz they just want SOMETHING to work. fausts 'im used to being burned' oh ud be#besties w gran#+ fausts pov once he gets to the Akira Part like wwhhhaaaaaattt................#@_@.....(the bradaki too#UNREAL. THESE WIZARDS ARE UNREAL. GOODNIGHT.#fauaki makes me dizzy its so good. fausts card eps.....? when he tries to get akira to rest...?? akira refusing and ending up having dinner#what da hell#making a charm of the tanabata event stones. 'i used it as the example'. wanting to hear akira sing twinkle twinkle little star i am UNWELL#honorary mention to mahopa lennox when he pretends he lost something so he can show akira#the nightsky in the mountains where they are IM SOO UNWEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL#unrelated but when i was iconing i rmbrd just HOW much akira holds their hands. the 2nd anni cards all being about that T_^#hesitating to take owen but then taking it immediadetly cuz they want to trust owen and they dont dislike him at all#whenever they reference how akira hesitated to take figaros hand during the dinner in central cuz figaro was ssooo creepy at the time#(ulterior motivations yippie) vs how akira doesnt hesitate now oh im wean#GOODNIGHT. GOIDNIGHT!!!!#akifi makes me feel sick. the amount of care figaro shows akira is. aurgh(mahopa1. tanabata
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I think it all boils down to that the one and only fact I know is that Girl was incredibly, deliriously happy that I asked her to prom and I want to know what it is I can do that will make her that happy again
#that ive done it once and dont know what it was drives me crazy#was it that she really likes me platonically? and if so should i ask her if she wants to hang out sometime before then just as friends?#(but what if she thinks im trying to pressure her to date me or hanging out with her platonically just because im in love with her)#was it that shes into me and is happy that im into her but just feels like for other reasons she cant date? bc if so we should talk#(but theres no way of knowing if thats the case)#augh#the worst part is i know she must like me enough that shed probably want to hang out with me at least platonically. but now if i ask her to#do that i dont wanna seem like i have ulterior motives#god this is hard#i just want to go straight up to her and say How Do I Make You Happy Augh#but cant bc life
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in the seventh circle of hell recently guys sorry for my lack of original funny sexy smart awesome posts
#brandy.txt#i did just go on a really long tangent to myself about mac vs the rest of the gang#in regards to things like friendship#and ulterior motives in relationships#but that will not see the light of day because i did not record it#so you're just gonna have to take my word for it that it was really good and true#anyways#to have a very rare personal moment butied in the tags of a post no one will read on my sunny sideblog#not doing Too hot recently#just gotta keep moving you know#hard to do that sometimes but shrug#life willdo what it will do...#if i get close enough to the edge i think wow this must be how charlie kelly feels#and then i'm fine#not because i want to be like charlie#but because i dont#if i ever turn into charlie it will be a bad day for everyone
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SO! I've wanted to talk about The Clip all day but felt like I should wait until the tumblr "premiere" (even though I think you were literally one of the first people to see it on Twitter lol). Thank you for defending my honor btw even if I am just Someone <3
But. Yes. Yeah. Yokoyama's absolute certainty in saying that??? Without anything to even buffer it? No maybe. No "don't expect too much." Just point-blank in front of a huge fan (whom I believe he's now going to be working with), a staff member, and a massive audience. As if that part isn't the matter of contention. I WILL be injecting those words directly into my veins for some time.
I was on the verge of choking and/or spewing blood and/or crying before posting it though lol, so I really appreciate the vote of confidence regarding the translation and I love your redraw! The reception as a whole has been really nice, although I wish people would keep it to themselves if they'd rather have Nishiki or Ryuji back or whatever. Not like it's a race, but even if it was, Mine's been in last place for ages lol.
And while I enjoy Y3's writing more than most, Mine's death wasn't some Grand Meaningful Statement, it was the decision of a fledgling studio that never knew if it would be able to keep making these games trying to tell a self-contained story. It did have far-reaching consequences for the series, but those consequences are also... not really relevant anymore?
Like, I can and have argued that Mine's death caused the fall of the Tojo Clan, but the clan has already fallen. So I don't see why some people are acting like revisiting his character would be A Spit In The Face to the saga somehow, but I guess I've never really been against characters being brought back...? A quote from the staff that's always stuck with me from the staff is that RGG is always going for RGG-ism, not realism.
Ranting aside... I honestly don't know if I should be saying this, but there's this new guy working the counter at Survive in some LaD8 behind the scenes footage. Now, upfront, I'm 99.8% sure it's not Mine (I happen to have a 100% accuracy rate so far identifying major RGG characters from extremely blurry images and silhouettes lmao), and I have no idea who it is, whether it's a new character or an old one heavily redesigned or Just Some Guy.
But he's not Kashiwagi. And he happens to have slicked-back dark brown hair with what appears to be an ahoge in some angles. And, unless the materials are temporary, he also dresses A Lot Like the celebrity Mine's design was based on. And his features... line up closely enough to piss me off, even though they don't fully match in the end, which is why I don't think it's him.
I'm in argumentative essay mode 100% of the time which is why I'm saying this in a "convincing" tone despite literally not believing it myself, but like... wouldn't that be something? To just have Mine part-timing at Survive or whatever and no one makes a big deal of it because they don't know any better? If nothing else, I really do think he should get The Bartender Treatment.
I dunno, I might post about it with a comparison tomorrow because it's been on my mind lately, especially with The News, but I really don't want people to get the wrong idea either. Or embarrass myself if it was too tenuous of a link to look that deeply into from the start lol
I remember seeing it two minutes after you posted it, so I can imagine I was one of the first to the scene of the crime (so my friends put it LMAO). AND OF COURSE I- and a lot of us- can't be any more grateful for all the work you do than we already are. I'd go insane trying to document and manage everything you do! especially when you have insane people like me ready to pounce on the smallest thing like I know I'd cry FJLKAJ The least I can do is give a proper title/credit to you when I can o7
If Yokoyama had any remaining hesitance about Mine being alive, then he REALLY would have fumbled by sounding so certain. Like in his old tweet, he certainly sounded more ambiguous, but this time he really had no extra notes and sounded more sure of himself. I won't expect RGG to do anything with Mine, but the concept is still very much exciting and the idea that Yokoyama almost seems earnest about the idea of bringing Mine back for whatever reason is very nice to know :] And thank you about enjoying the art I did! I can't lie in the slightest, since the last ask where you alluded to posting the clip, I had that drawing saved in the back of my head ready to make once you had that posted LMAO
But oohh not to touch drama since I generally try to Not touch it, but yeah I can't act like I haven't seen some people be. ""Interesting"" about the idea of Mine being alive. I won't dive too deep into it, but I think my major issue with the few grievances I've seen is that RGG hasn't done anything with Mine's alive status. As of right now, it's just a thing Yokoyama said, so I don't understand the need to be so angry about it (it's especially weird to say Ryuji hasn't been back when he not only got to be a playable protagonist in Dead Souls, but he was also the protagonist of RGGO- though I suppose I can understand wanting him in the mainline series again. Still, it's weird to act as though Mine's back any more than he is and being upset about it just because Yokoyama said he was alive)...
Moving on though, I'm really curious as to this 'mystery figure' you mean. I've been missing out on LaD8 production material, so I haven't seen this bit myself but I'd love to take a stab at it and analyze myself too. I agree though: if Mine does come back- whether he's working at Survive or anywhere else- I would greatly prefer if he had The Bartender status and was just never really called attention to and only existed in the background
#long post#snap chats#it'd be hilarious if mine came back and he was just there... just slap glasses o him and call it a day#like pleeaaasssee that'll be so funnyy if he does come back in LaD8 i dont want a dramatic reveal or whatever#i want the exact same shit like with kashiwagi just have the gang like. visit daigo and co at the security company#and the bitch at the front desk You Wouldnt Fucking Believe It Oh My God#i'd laugh so loud oh my god pleaaase yokoyama do it. you should also make ryuji just a random takoyaki salemen in 8#just so we're covering our bases here because im a ryuji-just-sells-octopus-balls truther#oh but on Mine's Death Fucked With The Tojo i definitely support the notion that he was a huge. Forgive The Pun asset to it#like i guess there's a lot of speculation and suggestions- at least on my end- when it coems to mine's importance#i mean we KNOW he was incredibly impotrant financially if katsuragi was anything to go off of#and listen ik i make the Widow Daigo joke a lot but geniunely i can imagine if daigo lost someone close to him he wouldnt be 100%#liiiiikkee i'll reserve the rant/ramble for my Daigo Essay but im just saying it cant be easy running a ship on your own with no real peers#yk cause pretty much everyone was older than him or only there for an ulterior motive and Blah Blah ill save the rest for another day#im rambling as is LMAO and i dont wanna say anythin FOOLISH#but yeah on mine coming back tho i dont think itd really tarnish any kind of thing his death could have done#like he died. or 'died'. 15 years ago (at the time of 2024)#the tojo's long gone by then it's been gone for five years at that point so it's not like mine would just Resume As Usual#he'd be starting over just as much as the other tojo clan members are yk what i mean#like i really cant think of. what else mine's death has done for the franchise that wolud be 'undone' if he was back#so yk. Why Not. it'd be funny and i think that's the only thing that matters ☠️ my dedication to the bit lets me forgive Insane Shit LMAO#but thats enough blabbering from meeeee thank you for writing in !
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character defining eichi moment of all time oh my god like it just clicks so much into place. absolutely stellar
#enst#i have so much to say abt him its just a never ending rabbit hole#element just fully solidified eichi as a complete dumbass when it comes to feelings and relationships and it changed my life#isnt that why you were being my friend? 🥺#oh hes so fjwbduwbaiqbsiwbdiwbsisbdisnsixbwisnckcisnxk#eichi just throwing everything he can at tsumugi bc bribery and threats were all he was ever taught#like he sounds so desperate like. Please please please what do you want!!! ill do it!!! let me give you smth material in exchange -#for all youve done for me!! so i dont have to feel so awful!! please tell me that you were using me just like i was using you!!#we were both using each other right?? thats what this was??#im awful and unlovable so obviously you had some ulterior motive here. theres no logical reason for you to be my 'friend' so itwas all fake#right?
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wow it'd be really funny if that was a vague post about me, about someone completely misunderstanding my point, oh well, they will never directly confront me bc they're coward so ig i'll stop thinking about it and caring.
#why yes im notoriously the black and white thinking guy tyvm#swing and a miss#next time: ask me to clarify and go deeper on what I mean! you'll probably find you agree with me when you're not constantly looking#for reasons to disagree with me! :)!#and also not constantly assuming i hold the exact opposite opinion of you and must hold the Worst opinion that would not benefit#you at all or something!#gotta be that im trying to take something away from you huh. cant be im genuinely concerned about something specific. nah.#i promise. i dont want to take shit. nor do i have the power to if i wanted to. i just want people to be careful ESPECIALLY. around#the cis men who indulge in that shit.#capiche? now fuck off with your uncharitable ass interpretation.#consider: maybe i *also* like the same shit and imprint myself very similarly on to it and am just being aware of when people just want#to use me and not respect me. sorry for looking out for you ig ill never do it again. christ.#maybe some of yall dont have friends bc you reject love and care where ever it comes and assume its some ulterior motive all the time.
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Was thinking of the "if i wasnt on tumblr who would be your mutual" post n remembered one time that coworker super into astrology n conspiracy theories said i was p close to enlightenment and everyone should listen to me. Im literally on tumblr,
#lodia sayings#when she said that i started thinking why is she saying that and what ulterior motives could she have (im ''slightly'' paranoid as a person#and everytime i bring up that story to someone else theyre like why would you distrust her and question her motives like that#and im always like?????? firstly i dont think thats true its just why would you say that about someone.#i guess i dont understand it so i distrust but also i didnt trust anything else she said tbh
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Did... did the straights forget we don't have anywhere near as much representation as them again? Like I get y'all are use to EVERYTHING catering to y'all's taste but seriously? Seriously? like yeah, nowadays you can find more, ESPECIALLY when it comes down to indie stuff... it's still NOTHING compared to how much cishet media is out there. Also did y'all forget when we DO get romance it tends to be double edged sword what with the whole "bury your gays" thing popping up often or gays just being side characters with little on screen romance thats often sanitized for homophobic mass appeal? Not to mention media rep varies VASTLY between queer person (ESPECIALLY bipoc who are often left out of romance, even when it comes down to HETERO relationships).
Like... sorry but our media is not created equal, if y'all are so annoyed with platonic love not being depicted enough why don't yall go beg/demand it from the majority of media out there that just feels like it HAS to shoehorn cishetero relationships into everything? Hmm?!
not to sound like a homophobic straight dude but I think yall should just let some characters be Friends not everything has to be about romance
#i just find this so FUNNY in the 'the audacity of straights to complain when this is moreso a problem with cishetero media then gay media'#oh & a problem with cishetero culture/society IN GENERAL not just media#also i dont really care if other queer people agree with this or not the sentiments make no sense regardless#if op was specifically complaining about shippers that would be one thing but this literally is targetimg anyone who wants to see romance#in media that doesnt have it & honestly if white people want to complain about white media & shippers have at it#but no this doesnt target anyone specific & broad strokes everyone who wants to see romantic relationships where there are none#maybe im taking the post too seriously but it just rubs me the wrong way#oh wait sorry i mispoke in one of my last tags it doesnt target EVERYONE it targets specifically people who want to see gay relationships#i also dont care if op is gay or queer btw lgbt people can have bad opinions#also it really is true when u start out a sentence with 'not to sound x' & it ALWAYS ends up sounding like x#also while i get the whole 'ulterior motive' part of this it still doesnt really make much sense tbh though#like... thats cishetero patriarchy culture not shippers not those who want depictions of gay romance thats our horrid societies attitudes#towards relationships & alsyi again this really is majority a WHITE problem anyway u look at it#if ur complaining about societies attitudes guess what? thats heavily influnced by (or just is) white society#complaining about shippers? guess what a majority of ships are! even when the media has a decent or mostly cas of poc guess what these#shippers gravitate towards shipping? if ur guessing white people ur correct!
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the new mairuma chapter omggg
#i gasped#like several times#i dont think sullivan was wrong for leaving the throne open btw#bc delkira said to keep it open and while idk if he gave sullivan any more instructions#but based on what we have heard im just assuming he meant keep it open until the time is right#im assuming sullivan was given more instructions specifically bc of iruma#but i cant be too sure.#oh my god another earthquake#anyways i cant be TOO sure if sullivan is acting on his own or acting based on what delkira has told him#that said baal is also not wrong HOWEVER he clearly has ulterior and malicious motives so#michi tag
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*DEEP SIGH* man...............................................
#i ummmmmmmm ummmmmmmm uuuhhhhhh mmmmmmm uhhhh yeah :)#i really like this guy but ummmm hmmmm#i feel really guilty about it because well okay so we have a really comfortable and close relationship#which is like normal and good right? yeah right. BUT for him its just a close friendship with someone you get along with really well#which is all fine and dandy and good#but for me its like. the same. but also. teehee. 😋😊. i want him. yknow?#so i feel like my actions and joy from the friendship are tainted by my further desires even if like my actions are 100% reciprocated in#in kind**#like everything i do he does too so like. its not like im doing anything bad. but it feels like it should be bad.#also he was in a relationship until 3 days ago#so like. i dont want to be too much. i wouldnt want to regardless of the relationship actually but i digress#i think actually whats going in is we have a level of intimacy which is completely normal for good friends who see each other all day every#everyday but im not used to that anymore because its been god like 5 years since highschool and thus wouldve seen my bestie that much and#had that level of intimacy#but also like that doesnt change the fact that i DO want him like that much remains true and outside of our relationship#but i feel guilty being afforded this level of intimacy when *I* am gaining a tainted version of the joy#and i say tainted not in a ewwwww relationships are evil kind of way but in a not quite ulterior motive kind of way because i do NOT have#further goals with my actions i act to maintain the status quo of our relationship but i DO get more than what is seen on the surface i#suppose?????#its like im embezzling romantic joy from a purely non romantic intimate friendship if that makes ANY sense#and thats were my guilt comes from because im like TEEHEE what if this but more#but like#its NOT bad and i SHOULDNT be guilty and i KNOW this#in fact i think i actually act LESS than what is expected of me from him because im afraid of overstepping my bounds#but WHATEVER none of this matters because he doesnt want me anyways lol#but im so incredibly happy with the way our relationship is he is SUCH a good friend its crazy#but also i want to [redacted]#ive said enough i dont need to be cringe on top of showing my soul
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my life philosophy when interacting w others is "man, there's a lot of pain going on in the world already, i dont need to further or engage that"
#so thats why i may seem to compliment people a lot. i dont have ulterior motives i just want to be open and honest about what i like esp if#it makes others feel happy too. thats it
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Hello! Can I request an angst Sylus x reader ff where the princess reader and Prince Sylus are in an arranged marriage and he really hates her also because of the rumors her fake friend made. The reader is cold on the outside but a very loving and sweet inside. During their 1 ½ year as a married couple, Sylus didn't acknowledged her as his wife but she does as her husband. One day, tables turned....Sorry for my English 😭
urgh i think you're wanting a fic from this which if i were to do this it would hoenstly end up being 5k</a long fic for which i aim 40k words for minimum and i mean this with all the kindness of my heart - i do not have the energy to do that for free so i hope youre okay w the typical hc style im doing!! also i changed some of it bc i dont see sylus making judgements of people based off what hes told
Sylus had long given up on the idea of doing things for himself wholly. He didn't have the ability to do things for just himself, selfishness the last thing on his mind with the status he owns. That's why he didn't object too much to being married - even if it was to someone he doesn't know.
Your first meeting was all business. He didn't mind at all but everybody in the room could feel the temperature drop by a few degrees. The two of you set out the terms of the marriage cleanly, coming to an agreement in very little time. To him it seemed that the two of you are on the same page, making things that much easier.
To respect your boundaries the two of you sleep in separate rooms. He's always busy, going off to meetings or sitting in his office reviewing the immense stacks of paperwork he has. Despite that, you try your best to find ways to include yourself in his schedule.
The servants always make room for you when you pass by, allowing you to go as you please while whispering about what might happen if they didn't. You pay it no mind, knowing that you've always been seen as intimidating. All it did was secure you a perfect match in Sylus, so you couldn't really mind. You learned quickly what his daily schedule looked like, finding the smallest gaps to insert yourself simply by delivering refreshments or news that other staff begged you not to do as it was below your station.
Sylus was a little surprised at first but he took it well, greeting you politely and thanking you whenever you came in. He understood it as you trying to keep appearances with your marriage, despite it being very clear to everybody involved everything was just for politics. He allows you your vice, sometimes even making small conversations with you. He didn't think you had any ulterior motive with how brief and impersonal the visits were.
He learned later that you began baking the pastries for him through the grapevine. You didn't tell him yourself, worried that he'd think you were trying to buy his affection while all you really wanted was just a way to be closer to him without intruding. He thanks you by buying a new set of clothes for you, a short, yet sweet note of him thanking you for thinking of him.
He doesn't seek you out still, not until he hears you've come down with a terrible illness that the physicians can't quite place. Thankfully it doesn't seem to be fatal, just incapacitating. By now the staff have begun to warm up around you, quietly speaking amongst themselves about how much you miss being able to see Sylus . You've admitted that you know Sylus doesn't see you as his spouse but you think of him as your dear husband, even if your relationship is slightly more than that of acquaintances.
He comes to visit you, sitting by your bed and just. Talking. He doesn't address the fact that you're sick - you've heard it too many times at this point - and just tells you about his day. Asks you about yours, what you want to do next week and if you'd be wanting to spend some time with him. The way your eyes light up makes him regret not reaching out to you sooner but he has a feeling he's got more than enough time to make it up to you.
#love and deepspace x reader#l&ds x reader#lads x reader#lnds x reader#sylus x reader#l&ds sylus x reader#lads sylus x reader#lnds sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus x reader
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