#what if i just cast on and yolo

[greaseonmymouth]

I’m trying to create a knitting pattern for a thing because I can’t find one that is exactly what I want and the math is killing me. I can visualise exactly what I want it to look like but the math for the pattern is ???? I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve miscalculated the increases I need

[threepandas]

Sun Burnt: Yandere Reborn

Lot of stereotypes came with having certain Flame types I mused. As bullets rammed into my back, ricocheting around me like bouncy balls of death. My feet eating up the earth as fast as I could. It was all kinds of unfair.

Like? If you were a Sun? You were expected to be gregarious. Cheerful. Some happy go lucky healer type. To hell with your ambitions, I got a paper cut! And a storm? Well OBVIOUSLY watch out! We got a HOT HEAD over here! Look out for the HOT HEAD! A TEMPERAMENTAL ASSHOLE coming through!

I mean? Maybe they're pissed cause you keep POKING at them, huh? Wouldn't anybody?

I dodge down an alley. Jumping trash cans. Throwing them down behind me. Hearing curses and howls of outrage. Man, they are persistent. And! And like? Being a LIGHTNING?! God, being a LIGHTNING can SUCK sometimes! Sure, I get to be a Tank. And yeah. Human tazer. Pretty neat. But the ASSHOLES!

It's all "ooooh~! You're nothing but a DUMB MEAT SHEILD! Come be my DUMB MEAT SHEILD and lick my BOOTS, meat sheild! That's all you're good for! Because you're so DUMB! Impulsive! We wanna use you to solve our stupid ass turf disputes and lead you ooooon~!" Like? Fuckin REALLY?!

Is it MY fault your brains move so slow? That you're so SQUISHY? I'm not fucking IMPULSIVE! I think things through! I just do it FASTER then you jack asses! Granted... never said I do it BETTER. I may, in fact, be a dumbass. Probably am. All signs point to "maybe"...

......ARE THEY SERIOUSLY STILL CHASING ME!?

It was MY haul!!!

Steal your own SHIT!!!

And yeah, was it WISE to flip the table, punch the Don, and jump out a window with the fugly ass statue they planned to stiff me on? No. No it was not. But I REFUSE to not get paid! Try to steal from ME will you?! I'ma toss this fucker into the SEA!!! Swim for it BITCHES!

I skid onto the main road of Mafia Island. Knocking over somebody's fancy ass mistress. Probably gonna pay for THAT too. Fuck it! Yolo! I am pouring on the Lightning flames at this point. COATED. The metaphorical bull in this, the mafia land China shop. Pulling shooting. Amused and playing bets. Flames rising up to brush against me.

I am a fuckin circus act on display and I HATE it.

But by all that is holy! Those bastards ARE NOT getting their stupid statue back!

To the SEA with it! I shall cast it to the briny BLUE!

FUCK THOSE GUYS!

The crowd is parting like the red fucking sea. Except... except?! Oh shit! Pretty guy on a suit! Move pretty guy! MOVE!! Aaaaah!

I barely... BARELY!! Manage to stop myself from running into Pretty? Hiiitman? Hitman. Got a gun. Very calm. Yep, hitman. Barely! Dodge! By forward flipping OVER the guy and Superhero sticking the landing. Dropping the statue but... meh. Don't care. I still plan to...

Are. You. FUCKING SERIOUS!?

Drugs!?

That FUGLY STATUE WAS HOLLOW! No WONDER they were so desperate to get it! They were BREAKING Vongola's BAN!!! Ooooooh! I'm TELLING! You FUCKERS USED ME!!! Jail! Ten thousand years JAIL! Kill um, Mr. Hitman! They're dirty, non-thief paying, DRUG MAKERS!

Am I pointing accusingly? Yes. Hanging over the hitmans shoulder like the tattling tattle that I am? Absolutely. Jail for them! Get um! Boooooo! My flames still coat every part of me. Which is why I can FEEL when the hitman decides... "fuck it. Why not?"

I can TELL? Because it's like feeling the mountain you're standing on suddenly deciding to move. Like a giant, blinking their eyes open and beginning to stand. Rising up and up and UP. So great it feels impossible. The Sun flames infront of me? Go beyond the concept of "powerful".

It's like standing in front of a star up close.

So bright and burning fury, it consumes all other light.

I can't even FEEL the other Flames around us anymore. Almost can't HEAR what's going on. He... he has a low, purring voice. Like espresso. Smooth. The smell of gunpowder and decadent things... CLINGS to him like a lover. The suit under my carelessly grabbing hands... f... feels EXPENSIVE.

Bad. T... this is BAD. D..Don't panic. Just. Just let go! Yeah? Let go, be polite, and apologize. Y... you'll be okay. Oh god. What did I DO?! L... LET GO. Move! W.. why can't I MOVE?!

I feel more then hear the shots. The slight recoil. Utterly effortless, he ends their lives. An amused lilt to whatever he's saying. His head tilts so he can view me from the corner of his eye. A mean smirk on his beautiful face. I amuse him. My FEAR amuses him.

His Flames reach out like a crushing fist... I... I can not move...

The world seems to STOP.

As two notes of the same song find each other. Flitting and high to some great and terrible low. The two farthest ends of a Set, still empty, with no sky to hold it in balance. Yet? Resonance none the less.

"Oh~?"

The flat disinterest of those abyssal eyes changes. Like a damning light flickering on in the dark. Leading something terrifying straight towards me. No longer just background noise. I was interesting. I... I didn't WANT to be interesting! No, no, NO!

He turned towards me.

And my stomach plummets straight through the earth. Oh god. Please God, no.

Before me stand a terrifying legend. Living infamy itself. THE World's Greatest Hitman, it's greatest killer, Reborn. Who's eyes were locked on my face with a terrible interest. Who's Flames, vast and hungry, tugged and prowled at the edge of my own. His mean little smirk had turned into something that could pass for charming... if I didn't know who he was.

If I wasn't probably going to die.

He casually tucked his gun away. Pulled his other hand from his pocket. And then... oh god. Then two burning weights clamped down on my shoulders. No where to run. No chance of escape. He leaned forward, towering over me.

"You know, I didn't catch your name, bella. Who do you work for again? We have so much to LEARN about each other, don't you think? All the time in the world. Now... give me your phone."

I whimpered. His hands were almost burning with Sun flames. They washed over me in a greedy search for ties that bind and cracks in my defenses. Pushing and pushing. Trying to get IN. Covetous.

"After all~ It's not like you could possibly escape me."

[the-force-awakens]

Two Birds, One Stone

Pairing: poe dameron/f!reader (no pronouns) Rating: explicit Word Count: 4.3k Warnings: smut (18+ only): fingering, oral (m receiving) unprotected piv, alcohol consumption (both parties are sober tho), friends to lovers, one night stand (or is it?) A/N: I have no idea why this concept burrowed into my head the way it did or how I ended up almost writing 5k of it but??? here we are.

You glance around the rec room - Snap and Karé making eyes at each other in the corner, Tallie and Paige already making out at another table - then back at Poe who is staring studiously ahead following his unintentional slip up that he's frustrated in a very particular kind of way, and wraps his lips around the bottle of coruscant cooler he bribed Yolo for. 

And it's gotta be the sip you've taken of your drink that makes you blurt, out of the blue, "There's me.”

His entire frame goes carefully rigid, enough so that you almost want to take the words back — almost but not quite. Poe lowers his drink slowly, casting you a skeptical look. "What?”

You shift slightly, giving him a casual shrug. "I said there's me. I'm not under your command, no reason for you to feel guilty. And -” despite the brazen nature of your suggestion, you feel warmth climb up your neck to your face - "it's been a while for me too. Two birds, one stone. Well - one dick, I guess.”

His eyebrows had nearly shot up to his hairline, but they lower now, something shifting in his expression as he studies yours. "You're serious?”

At this, you can't help but feel a little offended and you don't bother disguising that as you reply, "No, I just decided to screw with you about screwing you - yes, I'm being serious.”

He snorts at that, pushes away his bottle and turns in his seat, looking around the room before his gaze lands back on yours, a gentle heat building in his eyes that makes you falter and wonder if you've made a terrible mistake in suggesting this. "You know how many people we're going to hear an 'I told you so' from if they find out?”

You grin, leaning forward and daring to place your hand high on his thigh, enough that Poe's breath audibly hitches. “Do you really care what they have to say if it means getting off tonight?”

"I - uh - nope," he lands on empathically, popping the 'p' as he slides off his bar stool, offering you his hand to help you down off yours. It's sweet and he's done it a million times - but now it makes your heart trip over itself. "You sure about this?”

You are, in the sense that you know you want this. But what you're not so sure about is if it's a good idea, when his sheepish smile and crinkled eyes alone give you butterflies. Knowing his body intimately like you've suggested seems like playing with fire. 

"Yeah. You?” Because he hasn't actually said yet, though you know he wouldn't have budged if he hadn't made his mind up already - if it wasn't a yes, he'd still be at the bar.

"Surer than I've ever been," Poe replies with a crooked grin, squeezing your hand slightly and - yeah. This was a really fucking bad idea.

But you also really don't care.

You wonder if Poe can feel you watching him the entire walk back to his quarters. Nothing about the trek back seems significant yet at the same time incredibly surreal: you know where he keeps his flimsiplast blueprints of classic starfighter models hidden away for safe keeping, the name of that really naughty erotic romance novel he secretly loves even though the ending made him cry, you've curled up in his bed watching horror movies while he used you as a human shield and peering at the screen from behind your shoulder (which you found particularly endearing, considering how daring he is in every other facet of life, and also because it warms you from the inside out that he trusts you to protect him). 

And now you're going to know what it's like to have him spread out against his mattress, flushed and panting underneath you. The thought sends desire zipping down your back so intense that for the first time since leaving the rec room, you drop your eyes away from Poe - something like guilt surfacing over the thick wave of arousal at the fantasy you've conjured. Is it really wrong to think about it when it's about to be a reality?

You're yanked out of your thoughts by the soft beeps of Poe punching in the code to his room - Leia's birthday - and the pneumatic hiss of the door sliding open. His smile is genuine and earnest as he motions you to go in first.

It's surprisingly clean, cleaner than it'd been the night before last when you'd unceremoniously dropped onto his bed complaining about Laszlo being a dick during your shift (though there was never a time when he wasn't a dick) — so you assume Poe must've found the time and energy to tidy this morning before his patrol, or BB-8 did. Speaking of which -

“Where's Bee?” You ask as Poe steps in after you, the door sliding close behind him. Though you don't turn around, you sense him moving closer - slowly, like he's either trying to work out his next move or if he's not sure when you're supposed to begin. 

"He wanted to spend some time with the astromech pool,” Poe answers, giving in and lightly dragging his knuckles down the length of your bare arm, leaving gooseflesh in his wake. "Probably won't be back until later.”

"Lucky,” you breathe, heart rate picking up already because he's never touched you like this before. You were used to being touched by him because Poe was incredibly tactile and affectionate, but those had all been fleeting because despite his touchy nature, Poe didn't linger. 

He's lingering now, though, stepping close enough you can nearly feel his chest against your back. He flexes his hand out, lets his palm slide back up as he replies, "Yeah, luck seems to be going around tonight.”

Ordinarily you'd have rolled your eyes - hell, the temptation to do it is so instinct you nearly do, but it's overpowered by how the sincerity of his voice makes you melt. 

And melting is really not ideal. Neither is the way your traitorous knees already want to buckle just from this, from his close proximity that's still nowhere near close enough to sate you — either of you, really. 

You turn slowly around, breath catching low in your chest as you finally get a glimpse of Poe's face, of the unmasked want darkening his features and his eyes, which unabashedly rake over your frame like he's been waiting for permission to do so for a while. 

The thought that maybe he wants you almost as bad as you want him makes you clench your thighs together, and soothes some of the sting of the thought simmering in the back of your head which is that you want more than one night of this. 

No, that's not quite it either. 

You want this, you want - need - to know what it's like to have him inside you, to hear him moan your name, watch him unravel; you wouldn't take back your offer now and you're sure as hell not going to regret it later, not when Poe is looking down promisingly at you like that.

You want him in every single way you can have a person and it terrifies you because you've never felt like that for anyone — because sex has always just been a bit of fun for you, a way to stop thinking, to feel good. 

But it already feels like so much more than that right now. You feel like by inviting yourself into his bed, you've cracked open your ribcage so that all the love you've been hiding can spill out. 

"Can I kiss you?” Poe asks, deadly serious as he zeroes in on your mouth, before flicking up to meet your eyes - searching for any sign of hesitance. 

"Please.” It comes out breathier and a little more desperate than you meant for, but you don't think you can wait any longer. And it seems like Poe's patience has run out as well, because he surges forward, pulling you flush against him as he cups your face, kisses you hard.

You open your mouth to him, groan when he slides his tongue in, when his blazing hot hand meets bare skin as your shirt lifts up when you go to wrap your arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, your other hand sliding up his stubbled jaw — it prickles against your palm and you moan again, thinking of what it'd feel like against your thighs.

Poe nudges you forward, keeping you steady as he walks you backwards to his bunk - like you don't already have the layout to his room memorized, you're in it more than your own - and you're struck with three simultaneous realizations at once:

Poe Dameron was as good at kissing as he was flying

You probably could have done this without kissing him at all, kept this impersonal, kept some line in the sand of your relationship with him

You were about to have sex with your best friend. 

And some-fucking-how the least terrifying on the list was the third one.

You break apart from each other slowly, exchanging a weighted look that's filled to the brim of unsaid things and emotions clawing their way to the surface like a drowning man desperate for air; Poe's cheeks are already flushed and when he shifts closer, you feel his hard length pressing against the seam of his trousers. 

Taking a step back from him, you toe off your boots, immediately knocking them aside and out of the way with your ankle as Poe kicks his off. As he shucks his jacket off, you peel your shirt up and over your head — and are immediately rewarded with the sound of Poe inhaling sharply because you didn't wear a bra tonight. 

You don't normally, the weight of the straps often giving you migraines, so you usually opt for tank tops underneath: you hadn't worn one tonight, hadn't made an effort to be remotely put together because your plans had involved having a drink with Poe and then crashing for the night after such a long day - which, technically speaking, nothing about that has changed.

You sit down on the edge of the mattress, which is a bad idea because it puts you at eye-level where his trousers are tented. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you're reaching for him, undoing his belt with nimble fingers. 

"What are you - oh fuck -” Poe sucks in a sharp breath as you yank down his trousers and underwear in one quick motion, revealing his thick cock. It's curved up, towards his tummy, and already leaking precum.

You pull him closer, fingernails digging probably too harshly into his thighs. You glance up at him under your eyelashes, find him staring at you with dark, frantic eyes as his chest heaves. He's already unraveling and you've barely begun. The thought does very little to help the gathering dampness in your underwear, but it sure motivates you into returning your focus to the task at hand. 

You don't immediately go for his dick though - instead you lean in, pressing your nose against the soft skin of his thigh, ghosting your lips across it and you're struck with the exigent need to mark him. Which shouldn't be on the table, it shouldn't. But the thought of leaving behind evidence of tonight on his body, one that he won't be able to ignore, that will remain for a day or two and that he'll have to look at in the shower or when he dresses or (hopefully) when he gets himself off — makes something thrash in self-satisfaction behind your ribcage. 

Something that's immediately replaced with a wave of disappointment: you don't have any claim on him, even if you know him better than anyone else in the galaxy. Even if you're a little bit hopelessly in love with him. 

So instead of pinching his skin between your teeth, you move further up to his neglected cock and lick a long, slow swipe up the underside of his shaft, which makes Poe gasp roughly, his head tipping back and exposing his throat.

Scratch that. You're completely and utterly gone for your best friend, no ‘little bit’ about it. Which, again, is not ideal so you shove the thought away angrily and take it out on Poe by swallowing him down.

What you can't take in your mouth, you wrap your fist around, jerking him off at the same time that you savor the weight and taste of him on your tongue, every groan and whimper that falls from his lips.

It doesn't feel like it's been long at all when his hips buck harshly into your mouth and you hear him swear, bitten off. He grabs your hair, pulling you off abruptly, his breathing erratic as he releases his grip on you, rubbing your skull apologetically with his thumb. "Not gonna last if you keep that up, maker fuck, you're good at that.” 

"Oh, did you underestimate how good I'd be?” You retort, scooting backwards on the bed when Poe gestures for you to, giving him room to crawl in after you. 

"No.” It's a surprisingly clipped answer, and there's a weight to it that gives you pause, trying to search his shadowed face for a deeper meaning because for once in his life, Poe isn't saying something. 

But before you can ask another question, he's ducking in to kiss you again, slowly as he settles over you, gently pushing until you're supine on your back, his body covering yours as he braces himself on his elbow so as to keep his full weight off you (not that you'd really mind), while letting his hand slide down to your neck, his thumb settling in at the dip of your throat and maker fuck that shouldn't feel so good. 

He wedges one thigh between your legs, grinding up and you nearly choke, whining his name against his lips - which has the delightful side effect of making Poe groan, bucking against you before having the audacity to pull his thigh back away from your core.

He tears his mouth away from yours, the hand that was around your throat sliding down your bare torso, stopping to thumb the underside of your nipple which has you arching up into his touch carelessly, eyelids fluttering shut so you miss his brief, pleased smile before he works his hand between your bodies. 

Poe pushes aside your underwear, dipping one finger inside you to the knuckle, making you both moan. "Gods, you're wet,” he sounds like he can't believe it, even though you can both hear the slickness as he drags his finger slowly around. "All this just from getting me off, baby?”

The endearment falls off his lips easily and without thought but it makes you clench down around him subconsciously as your mind grapples with the fact that this is actually happening, that his calloused finger is pressing up against your slick walls.

The realization thuds around your brain like an echoing drum, intensifying when he slides another finger in. The stretch is slow, stings a little because it's been a while since anyone's fingers but yours were down there, and Poe's are decidedly thicker. 

Longer too, evidently, because he's reaching a place that has sparks appearing behind your eyes, something sharp, full and hot building low in your stomach. You rock into his hand, nodding wordlessly as you try to chase your own high. "All for you," you hear yourself say, high-pitched and barely familiar to your own ears. 

“All for - gods,” his voice breaks down into something nonsensical as his fingers slide deeper inside, grinding against your walls and crooking back towards himself in a way that leaves the entire world muffled around you, your mouth dropping when he leans back on his knees, using his other hand to give attention to your neglected clit. "All for me," he murmurs again, incredulous while you whine and squirm, openly admiring your wrecked expression. "You gonna come for me, too?”

The combination of being stuffed full of his fingers, his clever ministrations against your clit and his makerdamned voice is enough to — you're not even sure what happens. You cum but it's nothing like anything that's happened before: instead of crashing over the edge and losing temporary awareness of your body, it's like you've surfaced from the deepest part of the ocean and are sucking in greedy lung-fulls of air, no longer crushed down by the unforgiving current pressure. 

Your whole body is trembling when Poe slowly removes his fingers, transfixed at the sight between your legs — before his eyes trail back to his fingers, which gleam in the low light with the thick evidence of your climax. He brings them up to his mouth, sucking away the residue: his eyes roll back like they do when his taste buds go alight with something you've baked together in the kitchens, an appreciative noise rumbling up his chest and going straight to your core as he drops his hand. 

He seems wrought with indecision for a moment - you can tell by the way his brow furrows, his tongue darting out to swipe along his bottom lip that he's thinking, considering his options while situated between your thighs.

You're too impatient for that: you breathe out his name, reaching for him and it breaks his reverie. He's back over you in an instant, kissing you again, parts long enough to murmur, "You taste so good.”

His praise makes you groan, and you drag him down to kiss him again, fingernails scraping his scalp - which he seems to like by the way he jerks into you with a gasp, reminding you of just how badly want him inside you.

"Poe, come on -”

"Anyone ever tell you you're impatient?” Poe asks around a grin, but he obeys anyway (which makes your brain light up with interest), and strokes himself roughly, going to line up with your entrance. 

You snarf at that. “Yeah, you have - repeatedly. Last I checked you weren't any better.”

He notches the head of his cock against you and your breath stalls, grip tightening in his hair as Poe slowly sinks in another few inches. 

"I'm patient about - hnngh - some things,” he says, face pinched as he unexpectedly stops. He's not even halfway in yet and already you feel unbearably full. You can't imagine what it'll be like when he's in all the way. "The important things - those I'm - fuck you're soft and -”

He makes another wordless noise of appreciation, hands gripping your thighs so tightly that you know there will be bruises there later - and, oh, how that makes your stomach corkscrew with desire. 

You exhale shakily, slacken your hold on his curls, try to summon the energy to speak, to help him breathe through it — he said it's been awhile since the last time he was with anyone, after all. “What are you patient about? Not the first cup of caf, I can tell you that.” 

He huffs a noise that might be a laugh, moving just that much deeper inside of you. Poe's eyes are squinched shut, eyelashes long and dark against the tips of cheekbones. “I - this - been waitin' for this - been -” his sentence fades in a shared synchronized moan between the two of you as he sinks in fully, his cock disappearing inside of you. 

If it's possible to be cock drunk instantly, you wonder if you aren't now, because everything feels heady and light as you adjust to the feel of him, his words bouncing around in your head but not quite sticking. You clench around him unintentionally and Poe swears, dropping his head to your shoulder. 

Belatedly, you realize he's still rambling — you open your mouth to start to interrupt, tell him he can move now, when he says, "This is so better than I imagined it'd be, you feel so good, you -”

He stops abruptly, going as carefully still as he had in the rec room, this time because he can feel you tense beneath him. Slowly, Poe lifts his head up from your shoulder, dark brown eyes flicking between yours panickedly, "It - I just - I meant -” 

You press your finger to his lips, stopping him from going on another spiel and - for good measure - you let your other hand slide around the curve of his back to keep him in place, in case he gets the idea of pulling out of you following his unintentional bombshell.

"It's better than I thought it'd be too,” you tell him softly, trailing your fingertip down his kiss-swollen lips as your heart pounds. You know Poe better than anyone, better than yourself, yet there's still a seed of anxiety sprouting in the back of your mind that you're misunderstanding him, that he did just mean it's better than he thought it would be back at the bar.

You ignore it, forging ahead to confess, "I just wish it was for more than one night.”

Poe pushes up on his elbow in surprise. The sudden movement tips the angle of your hips, so that he pushes in even deeper, the tip of him hitting some sweet spot that has your stomach flipping. 

It also means that his face is caught between pleasure and revelation, which is a funny mix but it just softens his countenance to the point that affection swells up your throat: you love him so much that it isn't fair. 

"Doesn't have to be if you don't want it to,” Poe says, shyness creeping into his voice. It's rare, hearing that from him - you're so used to his confidence that the absence of it is so stark and surreal you nearly forget how you ended up in this conversation. 

"I want every night with you, every morning. I want you. Not just like this - though, this is -” experimentally, you lift yourself up, grinding into him and making you both groan - "good, this is really fucking good. I want…want you. All of you.”

You don't realize you've closed your eyes until Poe taps you lightly on your sternum: when you blink them back open, he's smiling softer than you've ever seen him. “You have me, you've had me for a long time. Maker, I've wanted you so bad -” he laughs, rakes his free hand through his hair - "didn't expect to tell you like this though.”

And you can't help but laugh too, because everything is backwards and completely perfect too. You hitch your leg up around his hip, pressing the heel off your foot against the small of his back, opening yourself up to him. “Somehow I can't imagine it happening any other way…but do you think we could reconvene on laughing at how ridiculous we are later and get back to the fucking now?”

"Yeah, I can do that.” Poe leans back down, grinning broadly as his lips find yours, kissing you long and slow as he finally pulls out, thrusting back in with a lazy grind, letting you feel every vein and ridge of his cock drag against your walls. 

"Oh - just like that - more -” you break off as Poe tilts his head, licking into your mouth, tongue slick against yours as he snakes one hand between your bodies to thumb at your clit while he continues his devastating slow pace.

Slow but hard, snapping up into you just like you want, adding just enough force at the apex of each thrust that you see stars, electricity zipping up your spine as the throbbing between your legs crests —

Your thighs tense around Poe as you come, his name a jagged noise on your tongue as you cling to him through the haze, trying to catch your breath even as Poe continues to rut into you, desperate for his own release. 

He's well beyond words now, reduced to grunts and the occasional whimper, clutching your knee - rubbing the bump of bone absently with his thumb, even as he chases his own high. 

Eager to help him get there, you slide your hands back into his hair like he seemed to like earlier, tugging on his curls as you lean in and knock your mouths together in a messy kiss, trying to meet his thrusts with your own, clenching weakly around him. 

It's when you tug on his bottom lip that Poe finally comes, spilling inside of you for what feels simultaneously like lightyears and mere seconds, dropping his head against the curve of your neck as he lets go of your leg so you can straighten it out finally.

He doesn't pull out immediately and you're glad, gladder still when Poe wedges his arms around your back, drawing you closer - kisses your sweaty skin at your collarbone. The kind of sleepy, thoughtless affection you've been dreaming of for years. 

Eventually after a while of luxuriating in the honey-like bliss that's enveloped you both as you come down from your respective highs, Poe perches his chin in the valley of your breasts, which makes the juxtaposition of his serious face all the stranger as he studies you. "I love you - is that okay?”

There's a million and one ways you've imagined him saying those three words to you, and a million and one ways you've imagined responding to them.

In this one, you knock your knee against his ribs, grinning crookedly when you reply, “Only if it's okay that I love you too,” before tugging him up to kiss his smiling mouth again - because you can. 

And not just tonight. You'll get to kiss him in the morning when you wake up together, still entwined together, and again before his next patrol; you get to have him not for just one night, but for every night, as long as you both want.

You wrap your arms around him, hugging his warm body to your own as sleep begins to pull you both under, his weight a comfortable pressure against you, leaving you utterly content.

This, you decide sleepily, was single handedly the best idea you've ever had.

[unpopularwriter25]

*Barge in through the door quickly* I GOT A REQUEST! A CUTE ONE TOO!! AND I REALLY REALLY WANT IT 100% fluff!!!

OK, so I want a Michikatsu/Kokushibo x Reincarnated! Modern! Reader. So the plot is: Reader got Reincarnated in kny as Michikatsu's fiancée with kny memories n all, you can bet that she can and will tease Michikatsu with modern comebacks/slang words. Or maybe teach him some too!! Also this is pre-yoriichi one, basically one before Michikatsu become jealous of Yoriichi.

I want this into Angst... Kill Reader off in the middle of story!! LET MICHIKATSU BE SAD! AND HE TURNS TO DEMON!!!!! but here's the twist, since Reader's soul not in this world— She got Reincarnated again!! With all her memories!! And after like, years (200 years for Koku, and 17 years for Reader since she reborn again) the both meet each again~ cue Reader punch and lecture Kokushibo for choosing becoming a demon, of course they still get along well... bonus if Kokushibo ended up proposing Reader again (Boi needs happiness).

I kinda want an ending of where Reader and Koku ended up being Tanjiro + Nezuko 2.0. I MEAN, IMAGINE CHIBI KOKUSHIBO IN A BOX!!! That and Reader & Kokushibo ended up helping the demon slayer crops beating Muzan's ass!

Thank youuuuu!! Also the moment I got this idea, I just HAD to send it to you xD

Once again you're coming in with the 10/10 request! 😂 I hope you enjoy~!

Eternal Vows: The Rebirth of Love and War

Warnings: Mentions of death.

Summary: a modern soul reincarnates as the fiancée of Michikatsu in the world of 'Demon Slayer.' Despite their joy, tragedy strikes, leading to her death and Michikatsu's transformation into a demon. Two hundred years later, she reincarnates again, and they reunite, determined to fight Muzan together. Their enduring love and unique bond bring hope to the Demon Slayer Corps as they face the ultimate battle.

The sun cast a warm glow over the peaceful countryside, the air filled with the gentle rustling of leaves and the distant calls of birds. In a quaint village nestled among rolling hills, Michikatsu and his fiancée walked hand in hand. The reader, a modern soul reincarnated into the world of 'Demon Slayer,' couldn't help but smile at the simplicity of this era, a stark contrast to her previous life.

"Michikatsu," she said, her voice playful, "have you ever heard the term 'YOLO'?"

Michikatsu glanced at her with a puzzled expression. "Yolo? What does that mean?"

She laughed, the sound light and carefree. "It means 'You Only Live Once.' It's a reminder to make the most out of life."

He smiled softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You always have such peculiar sayings."

"Oh, just wait until you hear about 'selfies' and 'hashtags'," she teased, earning a chuckle from him.

The days passed in a blur of joy and contentment. Michikatsu's admiration for his fiancée grew with each passing moment. She brought a sense of wonder and excitement into his life, her modern slang and comebacks a constant source of amusement.

One evening, as they sat beneath a sakura tree, she began teaching him more about her world. "So, in my time, we had these things called memes. They're like... funny pictures with captions that people share."

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Show me how to create one."

Grinning, she picked up a stick and drew a crude image in the dirt. "There, that's the face. Now you add a funny caption. Like, 'When you realize the Demon Slayer Corps is after you.'"

Michikatsu laughed, the sound rich and full of life. "You have such a vivid imagination."

But fate can be cruel. One fateful night, the village was attacked by a powerful demon. Despite their efforts, Michikatsu and his fiancée were separated in the chaos. As Michikatsu fought valiantly, his fiancée was struck down, her lifeless body cradled in his arms.

"Why?" Michikatsu's voice broke with grief as he held her close. "Why did this happen?"

Her last breath was a whisper, "Remember... YOLO."

Her death shattered Michikatsu. Consumed by sorrow and rage, he turned to Muzan Kibutsuji, seeking the power to avenge her. In his anguish, he became a demon, losing himself to darkness.

Two hundred years later, in a bustling modern city, the reader was reborn. Her memories of Michikatsu and her previous life remained vivid. At seventeen, she felt an inexplicable pull towards the past.

One evening, as she walked through an old forest, she stumbled upon a familiar figure. Kokushibo, now a powerful demon, stood before her, his six eyes widening in shock.

"It's you," he whispered, his voice a mix of wonder and regret.

Without hesitation, she punched him in the arm. "What the hell were you thinking, becoming a demon? YOLO, remember?"

Kokushibo's expression softened, a sad smile playing on his lips. "I never forgot."

Despite the centuries that had passed, their bond remained unbroken. They spent hours talking, sharing stories of their lives apart. Slowly, Kokushibo began to heal, his love for her rekindled.

One night, under the same sakura tree, he knelt before her. "Will you marry me again?"

Tears filled her eyes as she nodded. "Yes, Michikatsu. Always."

Together, they joined forces with the Demon Slayer Corps, their unique bond and combined strength a powerful weapon against Muzan. Kokushibo, with his diminutive form and chibi-like appearance, often rode in a specially crafted box on her back, a sight that never failed to bring smiles to their comrades.

As they stood side by side, ready to face the ultimate battle, she looked at him and grinned. "Ready to kick some demon ass, my love?"

He nodded, determination burning in his eyes. "Together, always."

And so, Michikatsu and his fiancée, now united once more, became an unstoppable force, their love and strength paving the way for a brighter future.

[sl33py-g4m3r]

Back with an update after a long break~~ (thanks anxiety (sarcasm))

Hopefully I've kicked anxiety's ass for the time being and am now in the swing of things~~

I still hate the map tho a little bit. Didn't realize you could press B to center the map, thank you for the tip~~!! idk why or how I didn't find that out myself.

Woman's Ring quest complete~~!! as well as the gryphon talons because I was grinding a good deal of them before. I missed one moss somewhere and need to go find it, annoyingly enough. and slay ortherus.

You can complete some quests multiple times? Is it worth it tho? Gryphon talons are just "get the talons, go to K's tavern to deliver, get 30 macca (?) each time" might be worth if you're grinding at the entrance for whatever reason... idk. what do you do with gryphon talons or fu xi feathers anyway? tried to sell them at B's i think and they didn't appear there.

I wonder if I'm overleveled a little bit? The disaster horde or whatever I fought for the ring chest went down with a zan from flynn, a bufu from centaur, bouncing claw from gryphon, and a grahm slice from lahm derg... it hit me once...

I can fuse now and it's probably a good idea; but I've kind of grown attatched a bit to the demons I have... but they also have all of the skills they'll ever know now anyway I think.... could be wrong. but I think you get the "demon whisper" when they've learned all possible skills? so despite growing attatched to them, time to fuse them into other demons?

Update on skills and roster:

Flynn - lvl 7 - still upping primarily magic, luck, agility - still bufu, zan, critical wave

Centaur - lvl 6 - bufu, needle shot

Gryphon (new!) - lvl 5 - bouncing claw, lunge

Lham Dearg (?) - lvl 5 - grahm slice, critical wave

Fu Xi - lvl 5 - zan, patra

Napaea - lvl 4 - dia, dream needle

Myrmecolion (? new!) - lvl 3 - patra

Mokoi (new!) - lvl 2 - zio

tried to use mokoi's zio on a chagrin, immediate death for mokoi. also tried to recruit a chagrin many times..... nope. it's mokoi all over again~~

hooray~~!!

Progress~~!!

Now what? fuse to see what that's all about, hunt for moss, defeat ortherus and continue on?

I hope that if I take a break from this game for a little bit, that break isn't another entire month. getting in the swing of things and hadn't seen Charon this entire time. Almost died but then thanks to napaea's dia, survived.

(gets comfortable, has an SMT moment)

I put gryphon in front instead of Fu Xi because gryphon nulls zan and is weak to the same thing as Fu Xi anyway... also more HP. so only had flynn be zan during that fight.... Still won but makes me worried I spent too much time being afraid because (idk how to read the map (keyboard smash and yelling for help) and stayed by the door grinding for a good bit. as per my last update on how the play through was going.

Is still fun and the music slaps~~!! glad I got into SMT through the music.

I've done some stuff~~ Break time to decide whether I want to fuse demons, and how. just yolo and see what happens? or have certain ones in mind with certain skills?

Then I'd have to recruit everyone again T_T;;

It's not pokemon, don't get attached to your demons, they're nothing but fusion fodder for stronger demons...

I'm attached anyway.

there begs the question~~! trying a challenge run so to speak? where I only use demons of a certain alignment? might be law cause I'm probably going to the law path anyway if I'm being honest with myself....

finally getting somewhere~~! Finally getting comfortable with navigation~~!! Finally get demon fusion app~~!!

break time~~! hopefully for a lot less long than before~~!!

I wanna punch navarre~~~ casting false aspersions of the poor~~~ feel like he's making fun of myself irl cause I am actually poor irl, lol.

proud of myself for this too~~!! get zan anxiety~~!! let fun things be fun~~!!

(new!) demons are new ones that I've acuired through fusion or negotiation; negotiations at this point because I didn't have access to fusion when I got them.

It baffles me how demon negotiations go sometimes. give stuff, say a thing that makes them not attack you, or try again later, give them stuff, don't like giving macca, and I usually refuse after 2 things. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

like was it gryphon? idk.. someone told me to dig with 3 dig options, i chcose the middle one, got a life stone, then promptly gave it back, and they became my ally? what?

same thing sort of with mokoi with the (I'm waiting for someone) and they're like "I'm the person you were waiting for" becomes ally. ?????

???????????

you bet your sweet macca that I saved after those, baby~~!!

good things can happen in this game???

update cause I dug through my posts and the last update was June 18th. the break wasn't a month long. I thought it was, lol.

[tonyspank]

some updates on what i’m working on

SHE 2 - i believe i have about 3k words so far, aiming for 8k like last time or maybe even more. right now i’m in the middle of a smut scene but i wasn’t feeling it so i stopped 😭 but i am enjoying the new plot or whatever

YOU RIGHT 2 - started working on it, not done yet! all i got sorry ☹️

WHO R U 4 (final chapter) - noted down the reveal for gf just need to start actually writing it

unreleased actor!reader x jenna - ik this is probably the most hyped up thing i’ve been talking about, so i really want it to be perfect.

we all know i switched the movie to mafia themed rather than soccer which is why this is taking a bit longer than expected. remember people this is basically two fics in one (kinda)

i finished the prologue or beginning intro for the “movie” and am now writing the rising action

i’ve also been working on the actual jenna x reader fic not just the movie. so far it’s the cast introduction and some of reader’s closest friends.

unreleased amber x reader x tara - now i wasn’t gonna say anything about this but yolo, i am working on this idea & reader is g!p. i’ve planned out about 1-5 chapters and already have endgame written

anywho! that’s a lil update

i have to write down my ideas because i am forgetful and i do tend to get sidetracked

which is also why i am working on so many things at once, literally will open up one works and then move onto the next because my brain will start malfunctioning and forget all the amazing dialogue and ideas i had 5 minutes ago

hope y’all are satisfied or excited 🥲

[pretend-pretend-vampire]

if vtm had a gacha game

quick disclaimer: I'm probably not going to make this an actual game even if I'm allowed to, I just had fun thinking it up. I might do something with it though, I dunno what yet.

setting and plot

player is an anarch baron sending coteries on missions. there are more anarchs officially part of the movement than the baron has direct control over, “recruited” characters are just ones the baron has enough power over to make them do things

story starts small, with missions being largely to keep the peace within the anarchs themselves and keep [undecided city] running as it should

one event has them go to the beach PLEASE we need a beach episode

gameplay

form coteries of 4 for missions

success/fail (NOT choices matter) story rpg approach to missions. sometimes very specific specialties will resolve to a win far easier than high stats/disciplines, so fledglings with niche specialties remain useful into the midgame and even the lategame if you know where to use them

still a dice roll whether things work or not, so higher stats are important but can still fail

vampires in a coterie will gradually build trust the more successful missions they’re on with each other, which will increase the likelihood of succeeding help checks/amount they can help each other on checks per level of bond

missions grant feeding materials, trust, and on a first clear [currency]

vampires

vampires are named, with backstories and feeding preferences and flaws

vampires have the usual attributes, as well as a few key specialties (numbers dependent on the rarity of the character)

vampires have Discipline powers too (numbers dependent on the rarity of the character)

level-ups can be saved and spent on increasing stats or disciplines. different rarities get different level caps, and certain levels will unlock bond stories where you get glimpses into the personal lives of the vampires

vampires come in F (fledgling), N (neonate), A (ancilla) and E (elder) rarities, with fledglings being the most abundant and easiest to recruit and elders being by far the hardest

recruiting (scouting) can be done with [currency], typically in a solo yolo with some form of pity/spark system.

duplicates can be devoured for additional experience, which will be more if the dupe is devoured by its original

skins/”masks”(?) can be acquired, possibly granting mechanical benefits? and they’ll typically feature the vampire in a different outfit or doing something different. frequently gory. they can be set for navigators on the homescreen also

feeding materials

blood types A, B, AB, and O, as well as bagged blood, corpse blood, animal blood, and much rarer vitae and meat

very small chance for a feeding material to grant additional xp (representing resonances)

certain vampires have restrictions on which feeding materials they can/will consume, suffering steep mechanical consequences (lower experience gain?) for being fed the wrong type of blood (e.g. ventrue not getting their preferred bloodtype, nagaraja not getting meat, farmers not getting animal blood)

daily free 10-pull for basic(?) feeding materials

characters

lotsa typically-anarch clans, but antitribu of all clans are present. huge sprawling cast of 50+ recruitable characters

some events unlock characters “switching sides” to the anarchs, adding to the gacha pool as rate-ups for the relevant event periods

one salubri in the whole game and they’re a neonate but their unique amalgam disciplines make them really fucking useful

[thegothicsystem]

Meet the Cast and Crew of thepedersonproject.net Week Three

Name and pronouns?

Lily (she/her)

Role in the film?

Nurse Smith and PR

Favorite Saw movie?

Saw V and Saw X

Which trap would you survive and why?

Probably the eyeball vacuum from Saw X, I mean C'MON its so easy just twist the knob all the way.. YOLO fr!

Zodiac big three

Virgo, Gemini & Libra

If you were a supernatural creature what would it be and why?

I would be a witch because I already am one LMAO! I'm a pagan witch and I've practiced witchcraft since I was 14 years old!

Favorite part of the project?

Meeting the other cast and crew members, everyone is so amazing and its been such a pleasure to get to know everyone <3

thepedersonproject.net premieres at the end of March on Instagram (@dr.ceciliapederson), Tik Tok, and Youtube. We also have a website that's in our TT bio

[sukehiroselei]

BLACK CLOVER SPOILERS

Been a while since I've fully written out my thoughts on the recent BC chapters. (I think May was the last time I did?) Anywho, these are my opinions—and I stress, MY OPINIONS!—on the recent chapters. I have to admit that my feelings about them are mixed, and I'll get into why. (Probably gonna get cancelled over this but yolo I guess loool)

First, I'd like to address the difference between Tumblr & Twitter discourse regarding Black Clover. From my personal experience, I find that Twitter discourse is more focused on the fights & power-ranking system—which, of course, is absolutely essential to the genre. Power-ups are a tangible way of measuring character growth, after all.

On the other hand, Tumblr discourse is more focused on the relationships between the characters & the overarching narrative of the work. Now, I'm not saying that one is better than the other, because all of these elements are important. I had to talk about the distinction because my criticisms of the recent chapters might be better explained with this context in mind.

As someone who enjoys BC specifically because of the relationships between the characters and the world-building, I've found that the story post-Elf arc has been really... flat. I know Twitter folks will say that BC's pacing has always been quick, but I've been missing some moments where the characters just have room to breathe, you know? Like when Spade Raid ended, we had half a chapter of fun before immediately jumping into the next arc, and I feel like it would have been nice to get a little more exposition on how Spade changed character dynamics. Like, they could have given us a little Greyche moment so their current state in the manga would hit that much harder. Or more bonding time between Nacht and the Bulls, so we appreciate their determination to find Asta together a little more? Does this make any sense? Lmao

Adding to that, I think the quick pacing is detrimental to BC's strengths. A lot of people like the story because there are so many characters with very interesting backstories and motivations, but the nature of the storytelling doesn't leave a lot of room to explore the depths of these characters. Tbh, the Black Bulls' stories are just as important to tell as Asta's journey to becoming WK. Side characters enrich the world, so I'm not a huge fan of glossing over what could have been really impactful moments for characters other than Asta/Yuno/Yami to shine.

For example, someone brought up a great point that the BB fight against Damnatio was symbolic of the uprooting of Clover's caste system. You have this group of outcasts, some who were personally victimized by the corruption of the kingdom as represented by Damnatio, fighting to save the people who shunned them. It would have been nice to get flashbacks of the way that the kingdom has affronted them: Zora grappling with his dad's death and what it meant to be a Magic Knight, Gauche's history of being a convict and being separated from his only family, etc.

I'm glad that we at least had that moment with Nero, and we got to see how Asta specifically changed the trajectory of her life; how she sees Lumiere's vision of the world in Asta's ideal vision when he becomes WK. But I wish they had done the same for the other Bulls or even non-Bulls too, especially since Lucius mentioned that this whole timeline was affected by Asta. That's why I'm sort of disappointed that Asta came back right away to end things. I feel like it would have been more significant if Damnatio had been heavily injured and Asta were to deal the last blow than an unharmed Damnatio and Asta landing a fatal blow only once.

I'm still holding out hope that we'll get more of the Bulls in this arc, though there are currently a lot of loose ends and Asta's already back in the picture. I hope we get followups on Noelle/Acier, YamiChar/Morgen, and Mereo/Morris before Asta ends the battle, but idk what I'm talking about as usual 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thegodthief]

"You learned X from Y! You were part of [That Scene]! I saw that post!"

Yes.

And?

Oh, wait. This is the part where you try to publicly shame me for being involved in this, that, or the other, right? See, I was worried about you showing up for a while, and then I thunk everything in my life with a hard and long think and came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter unless I want it to.

Next, you'll be trying to shame me for being used as a punching bag by the same folks that you're trying to shame me for formerly being associated with. Because that's what bullies and purity cultists do, they find a target and they won't stop because this is how they prove their righteousness to themselves and their cruelty to others.

And you know what, you're just as filthy as those I walked away from. Same stench.

"That post" is still up, because it is a foundational moment for all that followed. It wouldn't matter if that book had arrived in my life by means of personal delivery or if some dropshipper entered the wrong address and it came to me unbidden. For all that those who exposed me to the book has said and done, it was still my will to open that book, and my will to chase a particular type of "treasure", and my will that yelled YOLO into the depths of my fears and traumas and kept going.

So.

Now.

Here we are.

Or rather, here I am, on this public stage.

Back to Square One™ and picking up what was cast off by others and doing something with it. Some things were laid down in good and deliberate faith to be picked up by those who need it. Some things were cast off as slivers from some greater work that wound up being just what I needed at the time that I found it. Some things weren't meant to be found at all, but there's that knack of mine knocking over this and that.

So you recognize me from what happened then.

Yes. And?

[sapphosdickandballs]

For the bored people asks, 8, 18, 85

Hi…anon? Oh wait I just realized it said send it on anon. I didn’t do that to the person I asked. Yolo.

8- if you could do magic what’s the first spell you’d do? if I could do magic I would cast a transing spell. Make me a woman-cadabra. Then I would cast a levitation spell on myself.

18-guilty pressures? Gonna assume this means pleasures and answer with my go to…ed sheeran. 😓

85-what do you wish you knew more about? Dnd! It looks interesting as hell but I’m a bit intimidated by all the rules. And I don’t have anyone to play with me, but I could find that prolly. But i don’t like learning new rules

[kylieneko]

I made another thing

Mistakes were made, some of which were intentional, lessons were learned, and now I made another thing. Based on the Easy "Little Black" Tank Top pattern by Mama In A Stitch.

I had this craft kit I picked up when I originally set out to learn fibercraft stuff and . . . it's junk. I can tell it's junk, and I have no idea what I'm doing. The individual yarns were unlabeled, probably because that would have meant committing to a yarn weight. The moral of the story is just by a decent ball of yarn. It made sense in my head, but clearly I should have done more research as I would have been warned away.

Wanting to at least do something with this yarn, I picked this tank top pattern because it was very simple. The choice of colors was the least vibrant colors first earth tones for autumn, which is coming soon in the northern hemisphere.

So let's cover the intentional mistakes:

skeins were approximately 30 yards (but some of the others in the kit were far shorter)

to use up yarn, I joined yarn when I ran out, not when it would make a cleaner join with the changeover on the wrong side (though this worked out mostly that way on the front panel by sheer coincidence)

color coordination was done entirely whimsically

pattern called for size 12mm needles, but I only had up to 10mm and wasn't buying more at this time.

because this was a YOLO project, the top panel was knitted bottom up because why not.

This worked out well enough. It's acrylic, so it's like wearing a plastic bag, but it might actually work as a fall tank for around the house. When the temperatures drop. It's way too heavy as a summer top with this material.

The front panel came out better than the back one because by that point I actually started to find a rhythm and more consistent tension, but also I managed to rescue my dropped stitches instead of picking up the previous row loop and wondering where the gap came from.

The cast-off on the back panel was done way too tightly. I did better with the front panel's cast off but for any other garment with a proper neck-hole, I should probably learn the more stretchy castoffs when binding off at the top.

Things I would do differently next attempt:

Stretchy cast-off, especially anything done bottom-up

Cable cast-on?

Maybe another few rows? I like my tops just a bit longer.

Probably use a cotton blend

Probably use weight 3 DK yarn?

Probably get the larger needles

Do a single color, that's more my style. But still not black. Black is not a good summer color where I live.

[kowaindar0u]

i present: yuichi's playlist! [spotify] [youtube]

(as of 3/14/2024)

as with most of the playlists i make, some songs are readily applicable, some just have the right Vibe, some are sorta funny... and in yuichi's case, there's a lot of a rain theme going on lol

(also, some are ones from my own tourabu mood playlist that i just had to bring over)

because i've always wanted to do this i'm gonna go through all the songs and maybe explain why i put it there or something?? yolo! playlist guide under the cut lol

i recommend having this going while you listen!

most songs (on the youtube version) have lyrics/translations where available!

there's a lot of kpop don't judge me lol

Dreamcatcher - Full Moon this is a song from dc to their fans on their first anniversary lol, so the themes of a somewhat-new bond are pretty relevant!

Seventeen- Campfire do i even need to explain? sobs this song makes my heart warm ... just thinking about yuichi & all the toudans sitting around a campfire having *sniffles* precious moments... ; A;

Rihanna - Umbrella LMAO this one is very on-the-nose but also just thinking about it's hilarious, i couldn't resist. (plus like... it's a jam. also lyrically it actually does fit!)

Dreamcatcher - Boca be prepared to see a lot of dreamcatcher w/me, they're my Favorite(TM). anyway Boca is about protecting someone from harsh words (better translation is "if those thornlike words / start to hurt you / i won't let them open that boca (mouth)") AND has a very rainy/stormy atmosphere which makes it perfect. yes i know my toudans are Sword Warriors yes i still want to protect them as best i can!! (it's more about like. bullying and hate but yknow. similar sentiments...shhh...)

The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men ...............i don't think i need to explain myself on this >.> (THO HAHA IMAGINE IF THIS WAS HOW SWORDS MANIFESTED IN HIS HONMARU i'm dead)

ToppDogg -Annie (Anniversary) another 'anniversary' type song, i think it speaks for itself. saniwa💙toudans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clean Bandit - Rather Be lyrically, yes!! being a saniwa is not an easy or peaceful job by any means but yuichi wouldn't want to be anywhere else <3 also the song makes me think of rainy/cool moist days!

Seventeen - Home seventeen shows up a decent amount too, but what can i say? the songs fit lol. saniwa-toudan relationships might not always be 100% sunshine and rainbows, but... they are home, no?

Twice - Feel Special GOD. this song came out while i was very into tkrb a few years ago and so that plus the song itself made me actually cry when i first watched it lol. it's so fitting though, i think from toudan or yuichi's perspective. for yuichi, he clearly struggles with his self-worth, and is...well, he's no stranger to a breakdown. but ... he's got so many touken danshi around him who love him

Girls' Generation - Talk Talk no explanation needed methinks! <3 just comparing a love to the rain

SF9 - The Beat Goes On okay this song is just like... pure beach episode, everyone gathering in the sunset and having a great time being free with each other. i include it on so many playlists where i just want to imagine a joyful time with the whole cast of whatever, it just has to go here too, even if you'd be hard-pressed to get yuichi on a beach lol

Yuju - Play this is just strictly for the vibes. i don't know that yuichi has someone who dipped and hurt him like that (but it could be interesting i guess lol). the song just is perfect for the rainy atmosphere

Dreamcatcher - Piri i told u prepare for dreamcatcher lol. anyway this song is literally about like... depression and getting to a point where you need a lifeline. very yuichi, unfortunately

New Politics - One of Us another "do i even need to explain?" song ;u; it's definitely on my tkrb playlist lol. also the lyric video is kinda fun lol imagining it as different toudans at the table

Gfriend - Summer Rain just very nice rainy vibes.

Super Junior - Why I Like You this song (the whole album really) has always given me rainy/humid vibes. but also... love <3 (ofc not necessarily romantic in yuichi's case! but yknow what i mean)

Flo Rida - My House almost a joke addition but like... also almost not a joke LOL

David Cook - Come Back to Me okay this song is tkrb playlist because it's like... 100% kiwame send-off vibes. i initially added it after watching hanamaru, thinking about kashuu sending off yasusada, but i think it also suits most sendoffs very well. i wanna cry. sobs....

SF9 - RPM So I don't have a good reason for adding this to yuichi's or my tkrb playlist other than it makes me think of using time travel to go on a mission. also i just REALLY like the song... and listening to it with the rain going is mmmwah *chef kiss*. just imagine a team going up to the [time travel device] all ready to fucking GO, looking all badass in the mist and shit. and then PPEPWWW they go! and now they're ready to fuck shit up (to un-fuck the timeline)... it's the VIBES AGAIN

Darren Hayes - Bloodstained Heart no words needed <3

Dreamcatcher - Over the Sky another anniversary fan song from dc! this song just makes me so happy and like. energized. spring time. anime conventions. so it's on my tkrb playlist, but it's also a sweet and fun song so, yknow, puts it on.

Ravi - Lean on Me is this yuichi talking to a toudan? or a toudan talking to yuichi? or ? who knows, but either way, i like it. sweet and reliable.

Seventeen - Thanks just... a song about being so grateful to know and love someone.

Major Lazer - Cold Water (the one song with justin bieber i listen to unironically lol)

Seventeen - Holiday oh man just LISTEN to it, even without the lyrics it's just like. fun!! party!! chill!!

SF9 - Bibora a jam. a rainy jam. but also maybe some parts of it speak to yuichi.

Jinsoul (Loona) - Singing in the Rain KNK - Rain Super Junior - Raining Spell for Love Strictly for the vibes.

JBJ - True Colors oh man. this song makes me cry too. my heart...

Starley - Call on Me Another song that I think explains itself lol

Dreamcatcher - Reason yet another anniversary song from deukae but it fits. through all the triumphs and hardships, despair and joy, the toudans in this citadel have become his whole reason for being and they inspire him to keep going and do better and be someone they can depend on and be proud to call their saniwa.

[aellynera]

The Return of Operation Oscar (the full story)

Okay, so here’s the full story. Because I realize that this was technically my fourth trip to NYC since Operation Oscar, but the one in October didn’t technically count since that was me going to support @lisazamanart at her gallery show. Anyway.

Ironically, it was at that gallery show that I first learned about the play, since that had just been announced. And when I got home, I got me a membership to BAM, and I was going to be a responsible adult and get cheaper tickets, but then I thought about it, and since one of the shows was ON MY BIRTHDAY, I... was not responsible at all and got 2nd row tickets, dead center. Because it was my birthday and YOLO.

The person who was supposed to go with me couldn’t, so I ended up talking my mom into taking the bus into the city (it’s only like a 1.5 hour ride, and even though way more expensive than it used to be, still easy.) So I was not only excited to see Oscar, but also my mom on my actual birthday.

Thennnnnn on the Saturday before my birthday (which is also the day the play opened, and my uncle’s birthday) I had a seizure? I think? Still not entirely sure what happened, but I  ended up in the hospital for a couple days but the whole time I felt fine and I was like we are NOT cancelling the NYC trip because I will literally cry and I’ve been looking forward to it for so long... so, long story short, after a little back and forth, I got out of the hospital on 6 Feb and flew to NYC on 9 Feb. YOLO!

So anyway, Lisa and I had been talking before my flight, basic stuff like how I was going to the city and she was leaving to go back to London, and how it sucked that we would miss each other because we’d really like to say hello and stuff. I got to NYC, grabbed a cab from LaGuardia to Brooklyn, and got to my hotel. I was supposed to text my mom when I got there, since she was already in the room, and I was walking into the lobby doing just that when a tiny British woman tackled me and I was like, “LISA?!” and as it turns out, this is the hotel she always stays at in Brooklyn and my mom and I had just picked it by chance because it was super close to the theater and VOILA, Lisa and I got to see each other anyway! My mom couldn’t figure out what was taking me so long and who I could possibly find to talk to in our hotel lobby so I got to introduce them and it was the most lovely totally unexpected surprise. And I got all the theater and stage door dirt from her, too. 😂😂

So the next day after breakfast, we went exploring a bit and we did find the theater, then went to the amazing pizzeria on the corner and back to the hotel to relax until it was play time. And let me tell you, for the size of the theater and the three-hour (with intermission) run time and our second row seats, I would have been happy. Oscar Isaac was like twenty feet away from me most of the night of my birthday and what else could I have asked for? But then after the show we decided to check out the stage door and we found it quite easily. There were only like maybe? 20? people waiting at the stage door, all very polite and well-mannered and very cognizant of the barricade they’d put up. All the cast came out, we cheered and we clapped. Rachel Brosnahan was 2nd last to come out, and she was very sweet (and also fucking amazing in the play itself; I was surprised and thrilled with her performance, what a treat!) She signed my program and it was all very lovely.

Then. Then. Last to come out was Oscar, and he quite happily made his way around the barricade while I tried to remember how to breathe. But he ended up being SO NICE and so sweet and when my mom mentioned that it was my birthday, the next thing I know I’m getting squished in a hug and I’m getting a resounding “happy birthday!” and my mom is telling him that I came all the way from Tennessee for this and he’s like “hey, my dad lives in Tennessee!” and there were smiles and probably me looking like a total idiot and he had his arm around me for the picture even though you can’t really see it but IT WAS THERE OKAY.

The program:

My favorite picture in the history of ever:

It took a long road to get here. There was the lobby incident, and us not knowing or thinking to get to the stage door at the 92nd St Y (although we did loiter at his car), and then FINALLY I got to meet him (ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!) and every time I look at this picture I grin like a complete idiot and I’m not sorry about it and if I can figure out how to get to the play again, I will because it was amazing.

AH. MAY. ZING.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"

like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two

like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]

and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.

there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"

like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🤩 - April 2023 - Scorpio

Singles:

Overall energy: Ace of Swords

How you will meet: The Emperor

How they will treat you: Page of Swords

Long-term Potential: Justice, 5 Swords & 8 Wands

Oracle: You Be You 💯

There is a threesome energy here, I don’t know if you’re the Emperor, a married or committed masculine energy, or if you’re Queen of Wands - the lover & 3rd party in this. I assume the outside party based on messages. This is a poly situation gone wrong because feelings got involved, yours, you’ve probably fallen in love with this Emperor and they are not reciprocating 😓 If this is your story, then you know because this has probably already occurred. You’re gaining the clarity you’ve needed on whether this 3rd party is in it for fun, or whether they have deeper feelings, and they do have deeper feelings, if you’re the more of committed person in this mix. You had fun with this other person for whatever it was. The third party is coming to this Emperor with deeper feelings of love and fantasies about being together, which stresses The Emperor out, that’s not what they want or probably what was agreed upon. Long term, they may be a bit rude in how quickly the shut this connection down. They are in love with their Empress, those two just have a poly sort of relationship and boundaries where that’s concerned. It’s good for a short time, not a long time. I do feel this was something that was discussed beforehand, they didn’t deceive you about that, or switch it. Not the one 🙏 You are kinda stuck on them though, they’re in your head.

Messages -

Their side:

- Dark Desires 😈

- Polyamorous

Your side:

- I feel you around me everywhere I go.

- Forever Young

Signs you may be dealing with:

Sagittarius 💯 Aries, Libra, Aquarius & Gemini

Couples:

Overall energy: Page of Wands

Current: Queen of Pentacles

Challenge: 6 Pentacles

How they feel about you: Strength

How you feel about them: 5 Pentacles

Outcome: 4 Pentacles

This could be an lgbt reading, two Queens are here representing you both. This could also simply show squared energy, Queen of Pentacles (Capricorn/earth energy) is the Queen of hard work, finances & a solid practical foundation. Queen of Wands is the Queen of I’ll do what I want and nothing will stop me or get in my way (Aries/fire energy). And this is basically the entire conflict that is between you this month, whether these signs actually apply or not. I’m going to assume this other person is the Wands, that’s how it’s coming out. Yours is like the tenth couples reading where there is a stand off, it’s definitely a theme with all signs this month and patience is necessary. You have Meant to Be in your cards, so though this person is pissing you off, you love them and see them as your person.

But there is a huuuge disagreement over money. Page of Wands is the whole topic, fun, excitement, new ideas, YOLO, feeling inspired and heading off in some new direction, probably to celebrate with 3 Cups here. Could be birthday plans. Your response is more practical, absolutely not, because you haven’t recovered financially from whatever the LAST exciting fun spontaneous thing was, you’re like NO, and it’s a Tower to this person who is like “excuse me? What is no?” Queen of Wands doesn’t hear no.

How you feel about them is 5 Pentacles & 8 Pentacles, I’m guessing they don’t have a job, lost one, or they don’t make enough at this place, something difficult is going on there where they don’t have what they should or normally do have, and you’ve been patient about that, probably spotting them and supporting some of these fun ventures already. The challenge is an equal give and take between you, because you’re speaking from a place of practicality, and they don’t want to hear that, they’re speaking from a place of fun. You both feel rejected by the other person blindly casting aside your views on things.

They feel you’re just stubborn and refusing to work with them or compromise, it’s your way or the highway, and the potential pretty much confirms that about you. 4 Pentacles is holding tightly on to their money & viewpoints, in a possessive and protective manner. You’re not having anything to with whatever exciting proposal this person has this time, and may even be refusing to discuss it further. “I said what I said.” You’re heavily burdened by this feeling of needing money, you feel tied to something you don’t want to be tied to, and with Queen of Wands mirroring the Page at the beginning, you want this person to grow up. Or…your definition of that. If meant to be wasn’t out here, I’d be like there’s no way this is going to work out. In April, it’s not. Their messages seem to take your stubbornness as a challenge. There is a note here that you’ve maybe not fully addressed these feelings you have in a mature conversation yourself, more allowing yourself to build up in frustration until you explode and receive equal pushback from them. What you allow continues, I get they don’t understand why you’re so frustrated…try opening up in a more vulnerable & less angry kind of way. If you even want to bother with it. A Queen of Wands is going to do what she wants, that’s just period.

Messages -

Their side:

- Don’t underestimate my potential.

- LOUD

Your side:

- Curious about you.

- Meant to Be.

Oracles -

Zero Fox Given 🦊

Their side: Many times, kind words expressed when someone is in a rage will help neutralize the negativity.

Your side: There’s never an easy way to do anything worthwhile; through hard work, you learn.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn, Aries, Taurus, Leo & Sagittarius