#what if i cast aside the novel and make him as god intended

[grinsgrimmy]

Ａ Ｇ Ａ Ｉ Ｎ .

ㅤᯓᡣ𐭩 𝖢𝖨𝖤𝖫 𝗑 𝖠𝖥𝖠𝖡!𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

HOW TO REJECT MY OBSESSIVE EX-HUSBAND

๋࣭⭑ֶֶֶָָָ֢֢֢𖹭 oneshot . (2064 words)

sum. ciel, haunted by the regret of his past life where he failed to love you, he showered you with affection in the second life, wanting you back.

ㅤㅤ like ciel? check out ciel/reader/jace drabble .

note : spoilers to the novel if you squint

ㅤ⪩⪨ m.list

“wife.”

ciel purred. he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, a serene and affectionate smile gracing his often cold face.

his nose pressed against the crook of your neck, you could feel him planting several kisses along your shoulder— as if he were worshipping you.

breathless his eyes gazed back at yours, sparkling with adoration. “talk to me, wife,” ciel pleaded gently, pressing a loving kiss to your cheek.

you could only remain silent, flustered. though a part of your being hated him to the core, you could not help but melt into his affections.

you refused to give him any ounce of reaction that could feed his excitement.

ciel was intentionally doing this. barging into your bedroom in the middle of the night, begging for your attention and guiding. when you refused, he opted to drown you in his affections, hoping to chop down that guard you put up.

there was an incredibly good reason why you refused to open up to him. even ciel respected that choice you made because he was aware of it himself.

in your previous lives, he never did love you the way he did in your second life. before, he was reserved, stern, and cold. he was flawed in many ways. he was restricted from loving you due to his circumstances.

though he loved you all the same and more when he lost you.

life really showed him how much he took you for granted when you were killed by a monster that one day. ciel could remember it clearly, haunted by it that memory.

ciel was not a part of that mission when you had profusely asked him to. he reluctantly had to refuse you since he was busy with other matters, unfortunately.

but how much he regretted refusing you that day.

everyone in your team returned safe. except you.

you, who was killed brutally by a monster after recklessly deciding to risk your life for another guide. the team came home with the devastating news that soon reached his ears.

the team did not bother to recover your body. they gave an excuse that your body was not recoverable. ciel refused to believe that.

he burnt down the entire building into ashes that day, out of grief and terror, killing himself and everyone in it.

when he woke up, he returned to his world. his original world. and in the past too.

regardless, he vowed to love you again if he found you in his second life. he thought he needed to go back to the other world to find you.

to his luck, you reincarnated into his world. it did not take him long to trace you.

how did he know?

ciel remembered you, you every being. from your expressions to the way you move, to your preferences, to your scent, the way your guiding feels— everything.

he is obsessed with everything about you.

at first, the reincarnated you gave tiny signs. you had expressions and a pattern of speaking similar to the past you, ciel noticed. then, it went to your talents and skills. eerily similar to you.

then, he was blessed to receive your guiding.

your guiding.

one of the reasons why he felt incredibly blessed to have met you, to have you as his only guide. undenying pleasure and comfort. that was what your guide did to him.

you became his home. his home that he took for granted. his home that he should have shown love despite his restrictions.

when ciel felt your reincarnated self's guiding, he knew it was you. his wife. his dearest wife.

as if the hollow soul of his was resorted, your guiding washed over him like the gentlest of waves.

he clung onto you ever since then, following you like a lost puppy. you never gave any confirmation that you were his wife from his former life, but he does not need any vocal confirmation from you.

your guiding proved everything to him. you two are still linked, even after death.

you refused to open up to him. he understood why. he was never a good partner, or a good husband to you.

ciel was utmost cold to you, to everyone.

though no words could excuse his actions, but his coldness stemmed from the fact that he was taken from his real home and was forced to become a lab experiment and soldier due to how strong he was as an esper.

he could not show his emotions.

you could be in danger because of it.

you were, in every way, his weakness. his only weakness.

you died before he could even show you an ounce of his true feelings.

regardless, that was his regret. his only regret. never loving you the way you deserved.

therefore, he wishes to love you properly then. with you in this world with him. no one to force him around, no city to save— he could focus on you and solely you.

but you refused him. for months.

ciel refused to give up.

you were guarded, only to him. the unspoken pain clung onto you, the one that was haunted by the past. the one that made you incredibly wary of him, unable to trust him.

since in two of yours' first lives, you gave him the world.

ciel did not return it back then. he could not either way.

but he wished to give you the world now.

he longed for you.

with your every denial, rejection, and refusal, it only deepened his longing. it stirred the fierce and fiery need within him to protect you and to make amends for all those moments he had failed and disappointed you.

even if it takes years. or the next life.

he wishes to love you just as you loved him back then.

ciel began to grow desperate— obsessed. he used any means within his power to string you back to him.

he is a duke in his world. he had every power to create a lot of obstacles within your life that could end you back to him.

was he crazy for this? absolutely.

but ciel never saw it as something incredibly wrong when all he wanted to do was worship the ground you walked on.

he showered you with gifts—anything your heart desires, he could send it to your front door in a matter of seconds if he could.

anything.

but ciel never got mad over your wary heart. only hurt. disappointed, but he respected it. wholeheartedly.

in a way, he knew he deserved it.

ciel should have, at least, shown you how much he truly loved you back then. but he was a coward, until the end.

he was not going to give up on the opportunity anymore. even if he was going to be called insane, obsessed, and crazy by you. he would not stop.

ciel knew your heart beat the same speed as his whenever you two were together.

he knew, deep down, you still loved him despite everything.

because it is you. the sweet person that you are. a woman he never deserved, but his lives were blessed for him to meet you. to have you.

“i love you,” ciel whispered lovingly into your ear. a giddish grin on his lips, his cheeks flushed red as he continued to plant kisses all over your neck, hoping you would react.

you did not budge. you refuse to.

but your heart skipped a beat when he proclaimed his love to you.

until he decided to whisper into your ear, “wife, i love you, truly,” he repeated again, kissing your jawline, reverring in your warmth.

you could feel his heartbeat pounding against your back, the rhythm mirroring the emotions he was expressing. each of his words was a thread woven with vulnerability, regret, and a depth of longing that surpassed lifetimes.

he held you close to himself. “i will love you now,” he muttered weakly, gritting his teeth. “as i now have a chance to love you freely without any shackles,” his saddened yet loving eyes slowly met yours.

“even if it takes another lifetime for you to forgive me, i will love you until the next,” a promise that transcends the universe.

he hoped to peel the layers of past misunderstandings, showing the aching remorse he harboured deep within since his first life.

your chest clenched. you knew what he said was genuine. his eyes said it all.

you had spent a few years since you got reincarnated to nurse the wounds of an unreturned love from your past life— only for the man who caused it to return to you, holding you like a lifeline amidst a storm.

the memories, the loneliness, and the betrayal lingered, holding you back like invisible chains. but yet, you ended up accepting his love.

he pressed desperate kisses onto your shoulder, your neck, your cheek, then your forehead, but he never leaned to your lips.

he knew that needed to be earned.

ciel wanted to earn it.

ciel let out a shaky sigh, resting his forehead on the back of your head. he was falling apart at the seams.

a part of him wished you never remembered your shared past life. he wanted to sweep you away and begin a fresh new start with you.

but that would be absolutely selfish of him.

he would have never redeemed himself if so.

“i'll never let you go again,” he vowed, kissing the top of your head. “i'll wait for you, i swear,” he left a sloppy kiss on your neck, desperate. he could feel tears stinging the corners of his eyes as he gripped onto you.

you never gave him an answer; you could not.

your heart thundered painfully in your chest. you were torn between the past and present. you yearned to lean on him, to believe things could truly be different as he promised.

but your memories of your unreturned love held you back.

“i can't undo the past,” ciel muttered brokenly, grasping onto you as if you would disappear if he let go. “but i want to show you the love you deserved now and then,” he murmured quietly with honesty.

for the first time, it was you who looked at him, letting his words sink in. his eyes were shimmering, no longer cold and dead as you once knew. the sincerity, it was almost overwhelming.

ciel was different.

you could feel the weight of his regret, the depth of his untold love, and the weakness he had solely for you. all bare and vulnerable.

slowly but surely, your hand rested on top of his—

contact guiding.

you willingly gave it.

you willingly gave your guiding to him.

ciel gasped, his cheeks immediately flushed red as he choked up in pleasure at the overwhelming comfort of the feeling.

his heartbeat increased, and his hands moved from your waist to grip yours. his longing eyes, filled with love, met yours. “m, may i?” ciel choked out, his entire face decorated with a bright colour of red.

you knew what he meant.

despite the shackles of the past, you nodded. you allowed him.

because in the end, no matter what he did, you still love him so. you were a fool like that.

at your nod, ciel quickly grabbed you by your hips to turn you around. his hands gently yet urgently cup your cheeks.

his eyes scanned your face, as if searching for hesistance, any ounce of rejection— there were none.

he dived down to your lips, locking his with yours. the kiss was tender, as if ciel was pouring every lifetime's worth of regret and love into it.

his lips trembled against yours, fearing you would pull away out of regret. he held you close, his touch spreading a gentle warmth through you.

you tried pulling away from the kiss, but he dived back down to your lips. he intertwined your fingers with his.

the chains of the past, one by one, were beginning to lift, replacing that guarded heart of yours with hope of something new.

you could never forget the past, but maybe.

maybe he could be the partner you had dreamt of him to be.

that night, he whispered words of love and devotion into the quiet night that belonged to both of you.

you allowed yourself to love again. in his arms.

and for ciel, maybe one day you will say you life him again.

he awaits for that day.

・❥・consider supporting me or commissioning in ko-fi !!

[bestworstcase]

is there anything about rwby that you would have done differently as a writer? i.e. introducing certain ideas of characters earlier, complete wholesale changes, etc.

in terms of major narrative choices, adam attempts to assassinate sienna as in canon but her personal guard remains loyal, there’s a scuffle, and she’s able to escape wounded but alive, showing up at haven to pincer adam’s forces with the faction of the white fang that refuses to go along with his coup.

the albains are loyal to sienna but still weird and disliked – not for sinister foreshadowing but because sometimes people are just sort of weird and off-putting, and that’s a fun trait to give a couple of good guys who show the fuck up to defend an ally who’s hitherto been a bit distrustful and cool toward them when the violent splinter group tries to assassinate him; narratively the albains being like this while aligning themselves firmly with sienna also provides an opportunity to cast the belladonna’s alliance with and support of sienna into sharper focus and perhaps allows for blake to bounce off and talk to some guys in the “yes direct action and tactical violence, no whatever the fuck adam’s doing” camp to refine her understanding of the white fang and make it clearer how adam corrupted what sienna does and believes.

and the arc resolution is sienna reclaiming leadership of the white fang and preparing to clean house while ghira and ilia plan a second, separate but allied organization focused on advocacy with the overall point being that expecting one group to do and be everything is part of the problem.

i talk about this more here. the white fang arc really isn’t as bad as its frequently maligned but suffers from a lack of clarity in how it’s intended message is delivered; the point of sienna surviving and having genuine allies to represent her side in menagerie is to address that lack of clarity by articulating her philosophy and underscoring that the belladonnas support her and ally themselves with her because the objection isn’t “violence in bad” but rather “indiscriminate violence that materially harms the cause and violent infighting are bad.”

aside from that, i wouldn’t change anything significant presuming that i had to work under the same conditions as the actual writers (<- if they hadn’t lost those two episodes in v9, 9.10 wouldn’t feel so rushed and we’d have got that animatic as a full episode; if there hadn’t been budget issues in v5 mistral wouldn’t feel so empty; etc it’s very easy to fix problems like this in hypotheticals where you imagine you have infinite time and money, but in the real world if this were my story and i faced these sort of logistical challenges it would be to the detriment of the narrative in the same ways and i have no interest in pretending otherwise).

all that said

if i were the one writing this story and either i had more money or it was, like, a series of novels (<- which is what i’d be writing, realistically) – the religious layer of the story would be a lot more overt, not just in terms of the religious conflict with regard to the brothers but i would flesh out 1-2 other religions too. blake’s arc would feature wrestling with complicated feelings about god-of-animals-worship. ruby and yang would’ve been raised monotheistic light-worshippers; weiss would be a lapsed orthodox brother-cultist (in my head this is comparable to, say, the chasm between evangelical protestants and a lapsed catholic). oscar would be stolidly practicing some other religion that has nothing to do with the brothers, to ozma’s consternation, because that’s funny. salem would be still a polytheist but pointedly not worshipping Those Two, because that’s also funny.

<- this is not to “”fix“” anything i just think it’s important as a writer to be self-indulgent. and i like fantasy religions. bfrgscbk

[ughscara]

a series of questions that literally no one asked me.

“for how long have you been writing?”

╰┈➤ ever since i was little really. i used to read a lot of books and light novels as well as watch pretty much what i found likeable on tv back then ( god i sound old ). i abruptly stopped writing for a good three to four years until 2021 rolled around and i felt excited to write once again.

“why did you decide on sticking to writing for one character? said character being scaramouche?”

╰┈➤ he's my special interest and my favorite fictional character of all time as a whole. he awakened the inner writer in me back in 2021, and my immense adoration for his character prior to his arc in sumeru and appearance in inazuma ( i absolutely adore his character progression now i love him sm ) that pushed me to let the brain worms rot and i thought hey, i really love his character, i love his story and he's a fun character in general in my eyes to write for so i went for it :)

“were you writing on tumblr before 2023?”

╰┈➤ the answer surprisingly enough is yes, i was on tumblr for a good while ( three years ). i mainly stuck around because scara content obviously but it was also fun discovering the world of fanfiction through the site. seeing so many talented authors only made the motivation to write again grew more. i used to write on my old blog too but not for scara ( vine boom. what a shocker ) instead, i was just rambling and had a bit of a heizou era there.

“your content for scara mostly consists of fluff, hurt / angst with or without comfort. any specific reasons for that choice?”

╰┈➤ it's more fun imagining him not being smashed for once. jokes aside though — i genuinely do think it's fun to imagine him in scenarios that are just really nice and fluffy and are moments that, in spite of their simplicity, still have an impact on how he'll perceive it down the line ( that's for fluff ). as for angst and hurt ( either with or without comfort ) he is an ancient traumatized man that even after five centuries worth of trauma still has angst potential <3 i love him, i don't ever want to see him suffering ever again, but i am one of those authors where happy things just don't fucking stick.

“ever considered writing smut or not-sfw?”

╰┈➤ nope, and i intend to stick on writing heavily suggestive things at best because that is the most comfortable i can get with the topic. as for not-sfw; if we're talking dark content such as horror and yandere themes — that's a maybe. but for the time being, i am not delving too much into it if not at all.

“will you write for other characters?”

╰┈➤ possibly. but not as extensively as i do with scara.

“any other characters you love ( from genshin )?”

╰┈➤ naturally! i feel indifferent about a lot of the cast. but the ones i do favor apart from kuni are columbina being my second favorite then lynette, lyney, xiao, albedo, arlecchino, freminet, furina and lastly rosaria and kokomi.

“specific question: which seelie did you choose from the lost riches event?”

╰┈➤ brilliance for kuni on my main account, rosé for columbina on my alt account.

“you don't write for kabukimono a lot unless it's for when you write about the eccentric squad, why's that?”

╰┈➤ poured my soul, blood sweat and tears into my series on tumblr. and apart from that, the majority of my content for kabuki is leaning on a more original content side if that makes sense, and that ( much to my dismay and the fuck i couldn't give ) isn't something favorable to tumblr readers so i move most of said original content featuring kabu to my ao3 :)

“if genshin is over and there's no such thing as scara content anymore, how will you go on about your journey as a writer?”

╰┈➤ i'll move on to making my own original content, it's that simple. after all, kuni isn't the only driving force for my passion as a writer — his existence to me was what allowed for my greatest passion to be literally reborn ( unapologetic kuni lore ref ) and i mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that. i'll probably make some bs like a proper send-off that is so sappy and cheesy it'll make one go "ain't no way she's serious about this"

“let me guess, scara also sucked you into playing the game?”

╰┈➤ yes. and he brought me back to it too.

inbox questions: 1 .

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

🕊 Melville and Hawthorne

I remember when one of our mutuals received submission from an anonymous named Dove. I remember that insider mentioned many things about the girls but he also spoke about a particular character whose life caught my attention. Herman Melville. Melville was a New York poet who fell madly in love with another writer named Nathaniel Hawthorne. They had a very intense love affair, but it had to be hidden because it was the 19th century and homosexual love was forbidden. But it was not forbidden to write about it. This is an article from the page:

https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/02/13/herman-melville-nathaniel-hawthorne-love-letters/

Herman Melville’s Passionate, Beautiful, Heartbreaking Love Letters to Nathaniel Hawthorne:

“Your heart beat in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.”

BY MARIA POPOVA The summer when nineteen-year-old Emily Dickinson met the love of her life — the orphaned mathematician-in-training Susan Gilbert, who would come to be the poet’s greatest muse, her mentor, her primary reader and editor, her fiercest lifelong attachment, her “Only Woman in the World” — another intense, label-defying love was igniting in the heart of another literary titan-to-be some fifty miles westward. That other love unfolds alongside Dickinson’s in Figuring — a book I wrote to explore, among other existential perplexities, the bittersweet beauty of asymmetrical and half-requited loves. (This essay is adapted from the book.)

On August 5, 1850, Herman Melville met Nathaniel Hawthorne at a literary gathering in the Berkshires. Hawthorne was forty-six. The achingly shy, brooding writer, once celebrated as “handsomer than Lord Byron,” had risen to celebrity a decade earlier, much thanks to a glowing endorsement by Margaret Fuller. Melville — whose debut novel had rendered him a literary star in his twenties — had just turned thirty-one.

Herman Melville and Nathaniel Hawthorne A potent intellectual infatuation ignited between the two men — one that, at least for Melville, seems to have grown from the cerebral to the corporeal. Within days, the young author reviewed Hawthorne’s short story collection Mosses from an Old Manse in Literary World under the impersonal byline “a Virginian Spending July in Vermont.” No claim of this intentional ambiguity was true — Melville was a New Yorker, the month was August, and he was spending it in Massachusetts.

The review, nearing seven thousand words, was nothing less than an editorial serenade. “A man of a deep and noble nature has seized me in this seclusion… His wild, witch voice rings through me,” Melville wrote of reading Hawthorne’s stories in a remote farmhouse nestled in the summer foliage of the New England countryside. “The soft ravishments of the man spun me round in a web of dreams.” Melville couldn’t have known that his allusions to witchcraft, intended as compliment, had disquieting connotations for Hawthorne. Born Nathaniel Hathorne, he had added a w to the family name in order to distance himself from his ancestor John Hathorne — a leading judge involved in the Salem witch trials, who, unlike the other culpable judges, never repented of his role in the murders. Unwitting of the dark family history, Melville found himself under “this Hawthorne’s spell” — a spell cast first by his writing, then by the constellation of personal qualities from which the writing radiated. Who hasn’t fallen in love with an author in the pages of a beautiful book? And if that author, when befriended in the real world, proves to be endowed with the splendor of personhood that the writing intimates, who could resist falling in love with the whole person? Melville presaged as much:

No man can read a fine author, and relish him to his very bones, while he reads, without subsequently fancying to himself some ideal image of the man and his mind… There is no man in whom humor and love are developed in that high form called genius; no such man can exist without also possessing, as the indispensable complement of these, a great, deep intellect, which drops down into the universe like a plummet. Or, love and humor are only the eyes, through which such an intellect views this world. The great beauty in such a mind is but the product of its strength.

After comparing Hawthorne to Shakespeare, he writes:

In this world of lies, Truth is forced to fly like a scared white doe in the woodlands; and only by cunning glimpses will she reveal herself, as in Shakespeare and other masters of the great Art of Telling the Truth, — even though it be covertly, and by snatches./// This words came from the original 🕊 wrote

“I am Posterity speaking by proxy,” Melville bellows from the page, “when I declare — that the American, who up to the present day, has evinced, in Literature, the largest brain with the largest heart, that man is Nathaniel Hawthorne.” In an aside on the process of composing his review, he notes that twenty-four hours into writing, he found himself “charged more and more with love and admiration of Hawthorne.” Quoting an especially beguiling line of Hawthorne’s, he insists that “such touches… can not proceed from any common heart.” No, they bespeak “such a depth of tenderness, such a boundless sympathy with all forms of being, such an omnipresent love” that they render their author singular in his generation — as singular as the place he would come to occupy in Melville’s heart.

Hawthorne’s home, Old Manse. Concord, Massachusetts. (Boston Public Library.) Fervid correspondence and frequent visits followed over the next few months. Only ten of Melville’s letters to Hawthorne survive, but their houses were just six miles apart and they saw each other quite often — “discussing the Universe with a bottle of brandy & cigars,” as Melville put it in one invitation, and talking deep into the night about “time and eternity, things of this world and of the next, and books, and publishers, and all possible and impossible matters,” as Hawthorne recounted in his diary. Punctuating the invisible log of all that was written but destroyed is all that was spoken but unwritten, all that was felt but unspoken.

Melville’s ardor was most acute during the period of writing Moby-Dick, which he dedicated to Hawthorne. Printed immediately after the title page was “In Token of My Admiration for his Genius, This Book is Inscribed to Nathaniel [sic] Hawthorne.”

(The two lovers lived very close to each other, isn’t sounds familiar folks?)

Art by Matt Kish from Moby-Dick in Pictures: One Drawing for Every Page One November evening over dinner, a restlessly excited Herman presented Nathaniel with a lovingly inscribed copy of the novel whose now-legendary protagonist sails from Nantucket into the existential unknown. I can picture the brooding Hawthorne turning the leaf and suppressing a beam of delight upon discovering the printed dedication. In the following century, Virginia Woolf would perform a similar gesture with her groundbreaking, gender-bending novel Orlando, inspired by her lover Vita Sackville-West and later described by Vita’s son as “the longest and most charming love letter in literature.” On the day of Orlando’s publication, Vita would receive a package containing not only the printed book, but also Virginia’s original manuscript, bound specially for her in Niger leather and stamped with her initials on the spine.

But after the elated private presentation, a very different public fate awaited Moby-Dick. Its 1851 publication was met with a damning review in New York’s Literary World, which set the tone for its American reception and precipitated its decades-long plunge into obscurity. The reviewer’s chief complaint was that the novel “violated and defaced” “the most sacred associations of life”—an indictment aimed at the homoeroticism of Melville’s choice to depict Ishmael and Queequeg as sharing a “marriage bed” in which they awaken with their arms around each other.

Queequeg’s favorite dish, cooked and photographed by artist Dinah Fried for her project Fictitious Dishes: An Album of Literature’s Most Memorable Meals. Ten days later, Hawthorne lamented the obtuseness of the review and praised Moby-Dick as Melville’s best work yet. Touched to the point of delirium by this “exultation-breeding letter,” Melville hastened to reply:

Your heart beat in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… It is a strange feeling — no hopefulness is in it, no despair. Content — that is it; and irresponsibility; but without licentious inclination. I speak now of my profoundest sense of being, not of an incidental feeling.

Whence come you, Hawthorne? By what right do you drink from my flagon of life? And when I put it to my lips — lo, they are yours and not mine. I feel that the Godhead is broken up like the bread at the Supper, and that we are the pieces.

Aware of how his intemperate fervor might incinerate his relationship with the cooler-tempered Hawthorne, Melville reasons with himself for a moment, then chooses to abandon reason:

My dear Hawthorne, the atmospheric skepticisms steal into me now, and make me doubtful of my sanity in writing you thus. But, believe me, I am not mad, most noble Festus! But truth is ever incoherent, and when the big hearts strike together, the concussion is a little stunning.

After signing, he adds a feverish postscript:

I can’t stop yet. If the world was entirely made up of [magicians], I’ll tell you what I should do. I should have a paper-mill established at one end of the house, and so have an endless riband of foolscap rolling in upon my desk; and upon that endless riband I should write a thousand — a million — billion thoughts, all under the form of a letter to you. The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds. Which is the biggest? A foolish question — they are One.

The intensity proved too concussing for Hawthorne — he pulled away from the divine magnet. Melville seems to have presaged the eclipse of their relationship in the review in which the magnetism had begun:

It is that blackness in Hawthorne… that so fixes and fascinates me. It may be, nevertheless, that it is too largely developed in him. Perhaps he does not give us a ray of his light for every shade of his dark.

As Hawthorne retreated into his cool darkness, Melville suffered with the singular anguish of unreturned ardor—anguish that stayed with him for the remaining four decades of his life, for he eulogized it in one of his last poems, “Monody,” penned in his final year:

To have known him, to have loved him, After loneness long; And then to be estranged in life, And neither in the wrong; And now for death to set his seal — Ease me, a little ease, my song!

By wintry hills his hermit-mound The sheeted snow-drifts drape, And houseless there the snow-bird flits Beneath the fir-tree’s crape: Glazed now with ice the cloistral vine That hid the shyest grape.

Herman Melville in his final years. Meanwhile, the gaps of the invisible and the unspoken are filled with posterity’s questions about specifics that vibrate with the universal: What happened between Melville and Hawthorne in the unrecorded hours? Why did Nathaniel ultimately repel the divine magnet of Herman’s love? Most probably, we’ll never know. Possibly, they themselves never fully did. It is almost banal to say, yet it needs to be said: No one ever knows, nor therefore has grounds to judge, what goes on between two people, often not even the people themselves, half-opaque as we are to ourselves. One thing is certain: The quotient of intimacy cannot be contained in a label. The human heart is an ancient beast that roars and purrs with the same passions, whatever labels we may give them. We are so anxious to classify and categorize, both nature and human nature. It is a beautiful impulse — to contain the infinite in the finite, to wrest order from the chaos, to construct a foothold so we may climb toward higher truth. It is also a limiting one, for in naming things we often come to mistake the names for the things themselves. The labels we give to the loves of which we are capable — varied and vigorously transfigured from one kind into another and back again — cannot begin to contain the complexity of feeling that can flow between two hearts and the bodies that contain them.

_____

I don't think I can add anything to what Maria described that doesn't remind me of Camren. Or Camila. Sometimes I feel that Lauren and Camila are two reincarnated souls of former lovers who could never live their love in freedom, even these days. Where the love between homosexual couples will always be condemned and criticized and hated and will have to continue living in the shadows having only freedom in song lyrics, in poetry, literature, cinema. How much more time will it take for those ancient reincarnated lovers to live in freedom? In how many more generations can they really be free? I do not know. I only know that I hope I don't die before I get to see it Thanks Dove, whoever you were for showing us that story. If you read this, we are still here supporting the girls and that hidden love.

[booksandwords]

Instinct by Sherrilyn McQueen

Series: Chronicles of Nick, #6 Read time: 2 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: You were kind to me and I don’t believe in repaying kindness with cruelty. — Xevikan Daraxerxes

God Xev breaks my heart. A whole lot of the support cast in CoN are heartbreaking but there is something else about Xevikan that is just something else. He is pain, PTSD and power. “To give you an inkling, Gautier, I was the only ancient god born who could kill a Chthonian.”, look he is terrifying powerful and I adore him. I love Caleb I do but his inability to listen to Xev's side of the Liliana disaster makes me want to cry, slap him and then say 'what would Liliana say to you now'. Xev is tortured by that moment and we see it, I want to see more of it because there is trauma there that needs to understood. His reaction to Aeron says a lot. Oh and I'm so pleased with how we've met Aeron, I knew of him but not his story. Though there is something truly musing about seeing Xev as an Egyptian Mau nicknamed Mr. Fuzzy Boots., of course, Xev hates the name. Nick and Xev have one of the best relationships in the series. Nick is the only person who sees Xev. I know that was an unusual start, I needed to get it out of my system.

While Illusion helps the readers understand Kody and her parentage and family, Instinct deals as best as it can with Calebs. But Caleb's family is, at best, complicated. And this entire book is essentially done with Caleb absent due to the monster of the week. That monster of the week was someone I had not even thought of. I'm not sure entirely where this fits in. At times it feels like it follows on almost immediately from Illusion, at times it feels like some time has passed. But there is one line I found interesting "He’d only known it existed for less than two years." between Infinity and the end of Instinct is less than two years, and there is a year-long gap in there somewhere. There is a lot to digest coming out of this. All the characters in play, the changes in the world in dynamic and the new pieces of lore to deal with. The plot boils down to Nick working with his allies to save Cherise and Caleb and deciding whom he can trust. CoN books seem to have simplistic plots but the plot is not the point of them, they are character and lore driven. And the plot does well to display the characters in different lights. It gives some idea of where this might be going and Ambrose's shocking appearance was not a good sign. I really enjoyed this it moves at a good pace and doesn't try to do anything too smart. But I really wish there were family trees for some of these characters somewhere. That conversation between Xev and Mennie gets complicated fast even knowing the players. That said the ignorance is in line with Nick's knowledge base so it does fit.

All right have a dump of notes because otherwise, this review becomes obscenely long.

The six generals of the ušumgallu. Grim, Bane and Laguerre who live permanently earthside. The others who had to be called, Xevikan, Livia and Yrre.

The six primal gods. Those of the light; Razer, Cam and Verlyn. Those of the dark; Noir, Azure and Braith. Braith is complicated, while she aligns to the dark she is more grey. Two of the primary gods are missing; Razer and Braith. Verlyn was captured.

It wasn’t easy being Death. Made it hard to make friends. Harder still to keep them. No one was ever really happy to see you. Being around anyone tended to make them nervous and jumpy. Really sucked most days." — Being is Grim's head is something different. That is where we spend the prologue.

Braith got screwed by her siblings. I don't blame her from hiding from them for such a long time.

Zeitjägers. That's Germanic and German is a constructive language. Zeit is time. Jäger is hunter. Zeitjägers are entirely Sherri's creation as far as I can tell. But German is an interesting choice linguistically.

“Believe it or not, he can be quite charming when he’s not psychotic. And Hekate has always had a thing for bad boys.” — This about Noir. This is right after we meet Dagon, their son.

“That was you what done that with Zeus and them Arcadians and gots into all that trouble? Ooo, I remember that. That was so bad for you, but so nice for you to do! You the Simi’s hero.” — mine too Simi queen, mine too. Long story short Dagon helped Lycaon create the Were-hunters. I didn't know we knew him. And with his parentage, I'm not surprised he's willing to rebel.

Oh Noir, how did you get that body?  And can please gtfo so we can have it back?

I knew Aeron was going to be important but I didn't understand why.

“But be warned with that lineup, Malachai, you have chosen one of the most powerful groups ever assembled. Together, they could wield enough power to one day kill you.” — Damn Nick that is a smart play. It's an insurance policy. Also good choices, they are all super intelligent in their own fields too.

As an aside. I can't remember another character like Liliana. A character with a shattering impact who is never met. She feels like more than Caleb's wife at times, she feels like an anchor for him. As Nick points out other characters in Sherri's verses have this but we spend substantial time with them in flashbacks. That is not the case with Liliana.

Am I the only one reading this series that feels like there is a book missing? When did Nick find out about Mennie/Ma'at, Nashira, his brother, Monakribos (well his name), in some ways even the names of the 6 source? These aren't just important to Nick, they are important to US. While I do read the Dark-Hunter novels as well and am aware of some of the surrounding lore the primary intended audience of the CoN series would not be. The DH novels are aimed at adults and contain content as such, the CoN novels are aimed at those in their teens.

I want to add this too... this is what an Egyptian Mau looks like.

And when you know Xev has an attitude (for a reason) this is perfect.

[davidmann95]

For definitely no reason whatsoever, in response to nothing specific, can you rank the DC Multiverse Earths and tell us a bit about why each is in its place on the list?

Were this in response to an article, I could assure that I generally enjoy the writer’s output perfectly well from what I’ve seen and was absolutely baffled by the bizarrely selective research that went into it. Anyway, I hope you feel guilty enabling the amount of work I put into this truly ridiculous task by the end.

Cliff notes for the relatively uninitiated: that gorgeous monstrosity up above is The Map Of The Multiverse from the miniseries Multiversity, presented as a series of concentric circles bordered by the ‘Overvoid’ that all of reality is suspended in (and framed in such a way as to make clear it is the white of the pages comics are printed on). You go inwards from the borders of creation - moving moreso with each sphere from abstraction to the realm of the physical - to the Monitor Sphere in which once lived the near-omnipotent, now nearly extinct Monitor race that observed and maintained the multiverse, into the Sphere of Gods where the various beings of myth and divinity dwell, and into the innermost sphere where ‘we’ live. The 52 Earths you see within aren’t the whole of the multiverse but the ‘local��� 52 worlds, with infinite other Earths dwelling in their own dimensional pockets; all these universes actually exist in the same three-dimensional space at the same time but suspended in a higher-dimensional substance called ‘the Bleed’, and vibrating at distinct frequencies. Also there’s a ‘Dark Multiverse’ that’s cosmologically speaking ‘beneath’ the map, disintegrating half-formed potential realities that new proper universes are culled from. There’s a lot more to it than even all of that, but that’s enough to explain what’s up with these.

My ranking here is obviously subjective, but mostly comes down to a mix of ‘how cool is this Earth’, ‘how much would this Earth be worth using again’, ‘how well does it work in the context of being part of a shared multiverse’, and ‘do I seriously see creators unearthing any of this Earth’s potential down the road’. Also, Earths 24, 27, 28, 46, and 49 aren’t here, as they’re among the 7 Unknown Earths on the map that were left behind for future creators to define; 14 and apparently 25 have since been revealed.

64. Earth 14

A worthy bottom-place entry, Earth 14 is at the top of the Multiverse Map, and is shown as physically different from the other Earths, seemingly vibrating as if in two places at once; map co-designer and illustrator Rian Hughes suggested in an interview the intent was that this was where new universes entered the multiverse. Instead, ending up the first Unknown Earth to be revealed after the doors were opened to other creative teams, it was shown as a generic dystopian world home to a ‘Justice League of Assassins’ that were quickly dispatched by a generic cosmic threat. A monumental tribute to contextual ignorance and creative laziness.

63. Flashpoint

This is one of several Earths I’ll touch on that exist in neither the ‘local’ nor Dark Multiverse, but has directly crossed over or been framed in reference to the currently operating version of the DC Universe and so is probably worth a mention even if I’m not going over every Elseworlds and Imaginary Story DC has ever published. Another dystopian world, in this one an attempt by The Flash at fixing a change to history resulted in an Earth torn apart by war between Aquaman and Wonder Woman, where Cyborg was America’s greatest hero and Kal-El was held captive his entire life in a military bunker rather than becoming Superman. Aside from the prospect of a Thomas Wayne who became Batman when Bruce was gunned down as a child rather than vice-versa - resulting in him being pulled into a recent Batman run after this worlds’ destruction, the reason for this Earth’s inclusion - absolutely nothing of value came of this or the stories tied into it, such that astonishingly in spite of being the impetus for one of the biggest DC reboots of all time with theoretically an entire revised history to play with, essentially no one cares about this anymore.

62. Earth 1

The site of DC’s standalone, bookstore-market oriented ‘Earth One’ graphic novels. The incredible tunnel vision of marketing these for that purpose with titles that exist in reference to their multiversal structure aside, the Green Lantern book is the only one of those I’ve heard about being even kind of good; the rest top out at an interesting failure in Wonder Woman, with a standard forgettable failure in Teen Titans and truly flabbergasting misfires in Superman and Batman. Even Multiverse Map co-designer and writer Grant Morrison described this Earth in a blurb as having a history ‘in flux’, implicitly permitting the reader to believe it’s something else if they really want to, but as it stands in spite of the theoretical wide-open possibilities the foundations have already been built on salted Earth.

61. Watchmen

Home to the cast of characters of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ seminal miniseries. Crossed over with the DC Universe 30+ year later in Doomsday Clock, which clearly intended to set up this world as one ripe for future stories and development rather than a singular text, but instead misinterpreted, stripmined, and otherwise nuked essentially everything that might have had one interested in exploring it further in the first place (in spite of the source text’s very definitive conclusions to all major narrative threads and characters). The only reason this is not ranked even lower is the possibility that the upcoming, as-yet untitled Watchmen project by Tom King and Jorge Fornes might manage to dredge something out of this.

60. Earth Negative 11

The first of the Dark Multiverse Earths here, a gender-flipped Earth where Bryce Wayne generically altered herself into an Atlantean in order to do battle with Aquawoman and the forces of Atlantis. As the Dark Multiverse worlds we have seen thus far are described as being borne of Bruce Wayne’s fears, it’s odd that as opposed to the ‘want of a nail’ scenarios shown on all others, this includes the additional twist of making Bruce a woman, yet does nothing with that. Anyway, this is a very clear product of the Dark Multiverse’s debut in Dark Nights: Metal wanting an evil Batman to correspond to each member of the Justice League, and it’s the oddest, most perfunctory of the lot.

59. Earth 34

Home to the heroes of the Light Brigade, defenders of Cosmoville, this is an Earth meant to evoke the classic creator-owned superhero comic Astro City. However, as Astro City is itself made up of archetypal signifiers yet isn’t meta about its usage of them, being defined by its storytelling principles rather than the shared universe it builds up in the background, there are essentially no stories to be told here that couldn’t be told with the regular heroes of the DC universe. Which is a shame, those are some neat character designs.

58. Earth Negative 12

A Dark Multiverse Earth where believing Wonder Woman killed in a battle with the war god Ares, Batman took up the deity’s helm in hopes of redefining war, instead being corrupted by it and becoming an unstoppable monster. There’s basically nothing here.

57. Earth Negative 44

A Dark Multiverse Earth where a computer program meant to replicate Alfred after the butler’s untimely death, attempting to protect its charge, takes control of Batman by way of mechanizing him and turns Gotham into a digital nightmare. A little more on-point than the previous entry, but still not much here.

56. Earth Negative 22

A Dark Multiverse Earth where Batman is finally pushed into killing the Joker, but the Clown Prince of Crime secretes a particularly potent Joker Toxin upon his death that corrupts the Caped Crusader into a second Joker known as The Batman Who Laughs, who slaughters his way across his universe before ultimately making his way to the ‘main’ DCU. The prospect of a Batman/Joker combination is interesting, but an origin for the ultimate corrupted Batman ‘he got drugged into going bad’ falls short.

55. Earth Negative 32

A Dark Multiverse Earth where Bruce Wayne moments after his parents’ deaths was judged worthy of a Green Lantern ring, but having only his hatred of crime rather than the discipline and morality he would come to develop becomes the murderous terror of the underworld, with even the Corps unable to stop him when he manages to force the darkness of his heart through the ring into ‘dark constructs’. Another ultimately throwaway Earth, this at least illustrates the properties of the Dark Multiverse in an interesting way: the constructs he creates aren’t something that’s ever been indicated as being possible or even sensible with the ‘real’ Green Lantern, but as this is a world literally made of nightmares that’s irrelevant.

54. Earth 39

Home to the United Nations superspies the Agents of W.O.N.D.E.R., who operating using super-technology with eventually deleterious side-effects. A pastiche of the obscure T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents, it’s hard to imagine anyone with much to say about them wouldn’t simply wish to write an actual comic about them under the current rights-holders, though the concepts described in Morrison’s provided information are enticing.

53. Earth 41

A riff on several of the superheroes published by Image Comics over the years, they’re worth having around for the occasional heroes of the multiverse groupshots for your big crossover comics and Dino-Cop turned out to be charming, but it’s doubtful someone with a big Spawn story in them for instance would use Spore as their outlet.

52. Earth 9

All I know about this is that this is a ‘what if superheroes really changed the world’ Earth, and when those are a dime a dozen, the additional conceits of the names of the various characters not at all corresponding to their traditional backstories and attributes, and being the brainchild of creator Dan Jurgens, are far from enough to sway me. I understand there are some fans out there who may heartily disagree, to be fair.

51. Earth Negative 52

Another Dark Multiverse throwaway Earth, this time one where a Batman shattered by losing his various partners taps into the Speed Force so that he can finally be everywhere at once to stop all crime. This is distinct however in that he achieves this by defeating The Flash, chaining him to the hood of the Batmobile, and driving it so fast their atoms explode and merge, which is thoroughly rad and gets it big-time bonus points next to its contemporaries.

50. Earth 37

An Earth based on the DC works of creator Howard Chaykin, its conceit of being a world that progressed technologically far faster than our world but culturally remains decades behind us is interesting, but I’m not much of a fan of his work that I’ve read and most of what’s been drawn upon here doesn’t seem to have much of a following.

49. Earth 30

The world of Superman: Red Son, where Kal-L landed in the Ukraine and grew up to become leader of a global Soviet Union, before realizing he had deformed humanity’s development and faking his death. Leaving Earth in the hands of a Lex Luthor who while still very much a bastard found public approval in America for fighting Superman, Lex ultimately led Earth into a utopia that over time fell into complacency and became its universe’s version of Krypton, Jor-L (Luthor’s distant descendant) and Lara sending their baby back in time to survive and establishing a predestination loop. While several elements of the DC Universe are present in a limited capacity that could in theory be expanded on, Superman and Wonder Woman are the only superheroes of long-term note and both their stories are very much concluded, seemingly leaving little to do here except have the Superman with the hammer and sickle logo show up in event comics.

48. Earth 6

The world of the Just Imagine Stan Lee Created The DC Universe series, where the father of the Marvel Universe rebuilt several DC figureheads from the name and a few pieces of imagery up. The results were mixed at best, but a series of gorgeous artists involved in the projects mean the characters certainly look interesting even if it’s hard to imagine creators going back here in any meaningful capacity.

47. Earth Negative 1

A Dark Multiverse world where Superman turned on humanity for reasons unknown, and Batman deliberately infected himself with the ‘Doomsday Virus’ to gain the properties of the hulking monster and defeat his former friend. Now numbed to human emotion and vulnerability, this Batman hopes to spread the virus as to make humanity similarly indestructible, as well as shield them emotionally from what he has come to see as the false hope Superman represents. This Batman didn’t end up a major figure in the same way as The Batman Who Laughs, but the conceit is killer and I hope someone picks up on it one day.

46. Earth-52

A universe somewhere outside the local 52, a ‘remnant’ of sorts of the main DC universe circa 2011-2016 prior to cosmic revisions resulting in the current setup. A world where superheroes had emerged approximately 5 years earlier and home to lots of dudes in very dumb battle-armor, most fan-favorite stories from this era have been carried forward into the current history, and its unique version of Superman under Grant Morrison - a socialist crusader in a t-shirt and jeans who battled corrupt institutions and cosmic supervillainy in equal measure - was depicted as set loose from his world after 2016′s continuity changes as a defender of the multiverse. While a significant part of DC history both in-universe and publishing-wise, there wouldn’t seem to be all that much left here worth exploring.

45. Earth 2

A world where Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman alone represented the first wave of superheroes, they nobly fell in battle repelling an invasion of Earth by Darkseid. In time a new generation would emerge that were modernized, youthful iterations of the Justice Society of America, the superhero team predating the Justice League in DC’s publishing history. While the logline’s an interesting one and the successor to Superman Val-Zod debuted to some acclaim, for the most part this reinvention didn’t end up received well by either new or longtime fans, and a last-minute overhaul where this bunch was transplanted into a rebooted world without superheroes probably didn’t help. You still see them in crossovers and there are promising concepts, but this world seems basically dead.

44. Earth 50

When Lex Luthor ascended to the presidency and soon thereafter executed The Flash, Superman snapped, executed him, and took over the world alongside his allies as the Justice Lords, until they were ultimately overthrown by way of a parallel universe Justice League and a repentant Lord Batman. A Better World unequivocally rules, but given this is supposed to be those specific versions of the Lords rather than a new iteration, it’d be weird to see them up against any universe other than the DCAU. And, well...

43. Earth 12

The DCAU, currently world of Batman Beyond and a future Justice League. The DCAU, you may be aware, extremely rules, but is also somewhat redundant in this context - the ‘regular’ DCU already has all its core components without too much aesthetic differentiation, and there’s already frequently a Batman Beyond in the future of said universe. It has its unique attributes that make people love it, it’s cool that it’s here, but on the macro scale it’s too clean an adaptation to bring much to the table to crossovers and whatnot, and you’d never see any further stories told there otherwise as really being part of the DCU cosmic landscape so much as a comic tie-in to the TV show.

(Also it’s odd this is placed here with the Justice Lords Earth as if to go ‘it’s secretly been part of the 52 all along, you just never noticed when it only crossed over with the one other!’ when there were two other parallel universes in the DCAU.)

42. Earth 43

A nightmare world haunted by the once-heroic, now vampiric Blood League, the obvious potential would be for this world to function as DC’s equivalent to Marvel Zombies. Recently however DCeased has come to fill that position, and while this world in practice if not concept skews more closely towards that source material as the former heroes still have vestiges of their old personalities - in theory distinguishing it as its own spin worth keeping around - it’s hard to imagine most takes on ‘Justice League but monsters’ won’t come out under the DCeased banner for the foreseeable future.

41. Earth 40

A world of pulp villains made to oppose Earth 20, these guys are simple but a hoot.

40. Earth 35 aka the Pseudoverse

More analogues to analogues, this time of the Awesome Comics characters largely defined by Alan Moore in Supreme. This opens up the promising vista of ‘DC if it were designed by Alan Moore’, but in practice as demonstrated by his work with both DC and the analogues these mimic, that would just be...well, good DC comics, which you don’t need a whole extra universe for. The notion of this as a universe artificially created by Monitor ‘ideominers’ however both gives it a unique place in the multiverse, tackles its status as a pastiche in a unique way, and gets back to ideas of the power of imagination in both Supreme and Moore’s other works, so it’s likely there could be something to be done here.

39. Earth 11

A bit of a study in contradictions. This is seemingly a rather straightforward ‘gender swap’ Earth with Superwoman, Wonderous Man, and so forth. Also, its version of Star Sapphire implied it’s not subjected to constant crises in the same way as the main universe it mirrors, maintaining a greater degree of consistency in the process. At the same time however it’s mentioned that the Amazons rather than leaving Man’s World for Themyscira shared its technology and philosophy with the world, changing it forever, suggesting a far different world from what we’ve seen in glimpses here. Until it decides one way or another whether it’s a simple mirror to the regular DCU or a radically different take, it hovers in a state of uncertainty.

38. Earth-2 aka Earth Two

The original version of Earth-2, home to the DC Universe of the 1940s with aged versions of Superman and company and the original Justice Society of America. The first take on a DC universe that would progress in something resembling ‘real time’ rather than keeping the headliners as perpetual twenty-to-thirty-somethings, this was also the birthplace of heroes such as Power Girl and Huntress. I’m of the perhaps controversial opinion that this is a concept that was explored better in later takes: there’s a sense here that the largely forgotten follow-up generation eventually introduced, with the exception of the two heroes mentioned above, will never really matter in the same way as their still fully-active predecessors in spite of ostensibly taking over the family business, meaning you never quite actually get what you want here, which is to see a DC where things meaningfully change and move on - well into his middle age and his mentor’s death long behind him, Dick Grayson is still Robin. Add in the odd, ignominious demise of the original Batman and its Superman’s odd eventual fate - which slide from bizarre to intolerable if you accept the frequent implication that these are meant to be the original versions of them from the 1930s - and I can’t help but think the enjoyable high concept was never realized as well as it could be here.

37. Earth 4

The Earth of the characters of Charlton Comics who would go on to inspire Watchmen, this initially seemed like one of the most promising worlds after its debut in Pax Americana drew perhaps the most pronounced critical acclaim of any single issue in the past decade as the site for creators with something to say to work with Watchmen without actually touching that property. Now, however, Watchmen itself is in the mix: most wouldn’t reasonably go here while the material they’re truly referencing is now freely available (especially those simply wanting to draw fan attention by visibly playing with those toys, the way Earth 4 sidestepped) even though that world itself is now massively compromised past the original text, and with the ‘Watchmen Earth’ no longer an option and the characters themselves - if cleaned-up, more mainstream versions of them - existing in the DCU proper, this world’s role seems to have been largely stripped from it. I have to imagine there’s still potential here for those with the talent and commitment though.

36. Earth 44

A world where in the absence of natural superhuman beings, Doc Tornado created a Metal League of robot superheroes to protect the Earth. A promising concept definitely worth a few stories.

35. Earth 15

Once a perfect universe destroyed in a rampage by another Earth’s Superman, it was artificially reborn through the will of Countess Belzebeth - a cosmic vampire - as a copy of the Prime universe with the Green Lantern Corps replaced by Belzebeth’s despotic Blackstars, the uncertain and bitter heroes of this universe warped through the lens of Belzebeth’s perceptions of them had no chance against her forces. While its inhabitants are a bit samey what with all life having been subsumed into the diamond will of Blackstar Controller Mu, the idea of a conceptually weakened DCU being turned into an army against the rest of the multiverse makes for a terrific threat, and the prophecy of the ‘Cosmic Grail’ (a Green Lantern power battery lost somewhere in the multiverse) and that the First Lantern of the multiverse Volthoom hail from its original incarnation lend it some extra mythological weight.

34. Earth 32

A mashup world hosting the likes of the Justice Titans, Young Justice International, and the Doom Society. A world that’s home to Aquaflash will probably never have an ongoing all its own, but plenty of stories, miniseries, and even a brief line of comics have been based on mashup characters before, so there’s plenty of proof of concept for this being able to endure.

33. Earth 23

An Earth where Batman (naturally) is the only white guy on the Justice League, and Superman is not only President of the United States in his secret identity as Calvin Ellis, but the leader of the multiverse-spanning superteam Justice Incarnate. It reads like Morrison trying to do his idealized take on an ‘Ultimate DC’, a more diverse and politically engaged superhero landscape that doesn’t scale down its big ideas in turn, and if I were ranking it at the time it was introduced it would go much higher. The problem is that its version of Superman is modeled after Barack Obama, and that guy isn’t President anymore (and for that matter his legacy seems to grow more complicated by the year). As a result the vibe goes from triumphant to wistful mourning if not outright bitterly ironic, and that’s a needle that would have to be threaded before doing any substantial work here.

(Also, since several Justice Leaguers here rather than being made black are replaced with various black counterparts they’ve had over the years, that means Wonder Woman here is the 70s Amazon Nubia. And, uh, that name is something that would have to be...something.)

32. Earth 19

Steampunk superheroics; superhero period pieces are usually fun, and this is built on a foundation of pretty Mike Mignola art (though confession that I’ve never read Gotham By Gaslight), so sure, this one has potential.

31. Earth 18

Same as above but cowboys instead. This gets extra credit because cowboys mesh better with superhero conventions, and the additional twist of this world being frozen in history by the Time Trapper, forcing them to approximate modern technology with 19th century resources.

30. Earth 31

A post-apocalyptic waterworld where humanity is protected by Captain Leatherwing and assorted other pirate superheroes. Another ‘superheroes but in another genre’ setup, the post-apocalyptic, environmental twist makes it unfortunately more relevant than its peers, though I don’t think it’s quite the best end of the world as we know it on the list.

29. Earth 42

Home to the adorable, innocent world of the chibified Little League...secretly robots unwittingly enacting an endless stage play for the malevolent being known as the Empty Hand, running scenarios of his devising in preparation for a coming war with the rest of the multiverse. It’s a neat little multipurpose world, able to be played both as amusing contrast, or as parody whether light-hearted or cynical, in their endless ‘playtime’.

28. Earth 7

Formerly home to counterparts of the heroes of Earth 8, it was shattered by the Empty Hand’s forces and its desiccated cities made his throne, the zombie hordes that were once its champions his armies. The ‘Ultimate Marvel’ to Earth 8′s Marvel proper (and now Marvel Zombies), the idea of the broken remains of the cool version of the cool superhero universe as the lair of the ultimate evil has a certain appeal.

27. Earth 52

The last of the Earth 52s on this list, this newly added 53rd core Earth is home to Frank Miller’s Dark Knight books. Much as the reception to it over the years has become...mixed, at best (for my money Dark Knight III is the only one that’s not at least bad in a very interesting way, and even it still has its moments), the surprised generally positive reception to the most recent entry in Dark Knight Returns: The Golden Child suggests there’s still life in this oddball corner of the cosmos yet.

(Fun fact: this was Earth 31 in a previous version of the multiverse, and Morrison intended it to be included as such in Multiversity - hence why Earth 31 is made up of inky scratches on the Map - but Miller requested he not since he wanted to keep his domain separate from DC’s ongoing storylines. Instead he agreed later to Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo’s use of it in Dark Nights: Metal as DKR is famously Snyder’s favorite comic, bringing it in as Earth 52.)

26. Earth 47 aka Dreamworld

Where the Love Syndicate of Dreamworld dwells, baby: all is groovy. It’s incredibly specific in both era and theme, but a psychedelic universe with heroes to match invites tons of possibilities.

25. Earth 10 aka Earth X

It’s the Nazi Earth that sucks. It has superheroes who unnervingly are about as well-intentioned and effective as the standard set in the New Reischman, opposed by the few remaining dregs of the Freedom Fighters led by Uncle Sam; only their Kal-L, Overman, once Hitler’s weapon, truly understands the scope of the atrocities that led to their ‘utopia’, having grown a conscience too late and ever-aware that no feat in the present can ever redeem the oceans of blood on his hands. You can do horrifying introspective stuff with them as in their Multiversity chapter, you can tell Freedom Fighters stories like the recent miniseries, or you can just have the Justice League show up to fight the Nazi Justice League. A Nazi world is a standard one in multiverse stories for a reason, you don’t get easier targets.

24. Earth 5G

The DC universe that’s...sort of here and sort of not. Doomsday Clock and other upcoming stories appear to be shifting us over to this, but in most of DC’s line of titles the leap hasn’t taken place yet. As we haven’t seen the bench of successor heroes apparently primed to take over only so much can be judged, but the vast changes suggested by the new ‘official timeline’ that’s been leaked suggest a bizarre attempt at incorporating as many of their editorially-favored biggest hits as possible into a bizarre selective mishmash, without particularly serving the status quos any of the constituent characters said history is meant to bolster (with the exception of Wonder Woman, now framed as the first superhero, which would at least be interesting and a deserved bolster to her profile if there were any particular impression her new standing would be meaningfully followed-through on), while also not only reinstating the mutually destructive retcon of the JSA as preceding Superman, but taking the absurd extra step of actively presenting them as his inspiration. Of course we haven’t seen it in practice yet, and at the end of the day good stories will surely still be told here, but the foundations here are about as shaky as they’ve ever been for the ‘core’ DCU as a wholehearted capitulation to placing dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s over the actual narrative logistics of making a shared universe function smoothly.

23. Earth Negative Zero aka Betwixt

A world where those whose senses of self entire disintegrate fade away to seeking to feed on those still well-defined, this bears similarities to the realm of Limbo where ignored superheroes reside, but with just enough conceptual differences and a hellish, malleable twist that makes it the best thing anyone’s come up with to date to do with the Dark Multiverse.

22. Earth 48 aka Warworld

While its iconography is rooted of all things in castoff characters from Crisis On Infinite Earths and no-hopers from Countdown To Final Crisis, the actual conceit here of a world where literally everyone and everything is a superhero that operates by superhero rules, a world built by the New Gods as defenders of reality, is wide-open and tantalizing.

21. Earth 38

Another major shot at a DCU that aged in real time, this version has its own idiosyncrasies but far more of a sense of forward momentum and meaningful change, with the original Superman and Batman still leading the pack one way or another but successors to both them and the rest of the heroes truly stepping up. Also the predominant hero of the 21st century is Knightwing, the grandson of both Superman and Batman who has only partial Superman powers but also Batman training, which is just really cool.

20. Earth 3

The good ‘ol classic evil mirror universe, where strength is the only law, the forces of evil always win in the end no matter how bright the day may become, and thus the Crime Syndicate operates as it pleases. It’s never quite as interesting as you want it to be - its villains are largely one-note - but its warped societal and cosmic rules, and that each character has a handful of twists on the mythology of their counterparts rather than being an exact (if morally inverted) duplicate, means it could easily one day come to live up to its obvious potential in the right hands.

19. Earth 21

Here, most superheroes were forced into retirement after World War II by McCarthyist paranoia, but at the dawn of the 1960s the few remaining and a new generation are emboldened to step back into the light, spearheaded by the Justice League of America. DC: The New Frontier is a modern classic, with a direct standalone follow-up virtually out of the question; as it doesn’t quite lead into the world of the actual 1960s DC Comics either, its sole function in its capacity as a world in the multiverse is as a 60s ‘period piece’ Earth. Given that’s where most of the architecture of DC as we now know it was built however, that’s hardly a problem.

18. Earth 26 aka Earth C

Funny animals are fun, and in a superhero universe that means you get superhero funny animals, courtesy of Captain Carrot and his amazing Zoo Crew. What’s not to love?

17. Earth 22

While time has somewhat dimmed the acclaim that originally surrounded it, Kingdom Come and its tale of a Superman coming out of retirement alongside his allies to try and reign in an out-of-control new generation remains a landmark moment in the genre, and in many aspects still holds up. Unlike many stories of its stature this world has always played nice with the mainline universe in terms of guest appearances and crossovers, including works by the original creators Mark Waid and Alex Ross, and as the most iconic and conceptually expansive work to date set in a DC universe that has joined in the march of time, that makes it a prominent and useful one to have around.

16. The Antimatter Universe of Qward aka The Reversoverse aka the Anti-Verse

The original dark flipside of DC reality, this has occasionally also played home to the Crime Syndicate - and their best stories by far, to boot - but mainly serves as a home base to the Weaponeers of Qward and occasionally Sinestro. While largely unexplored it has a massively central place in DC’s cosmology and the birth of the multiverse, the glimpses of a society of pure evil in early Silver Age Green Lantern and JLA: Earth 2 are far more fun and interesting than anything seen in Earth 3′s history, it’s about to get even more room under Morrison to find definition, and as the ultimate mysterious Forbidden Realm of the DCU the possibilities could be essentially endless in the right hands.

15. Earth-1985 aka Earth One

The DC universe of 1956-1986, and the dragon an entire generation of creators have spent their livelihoods chasing as the ‘classic’ iteration, as evidenced by one of them flat-out confirming it still exists somewhere out there. While that makes it frequently redundant when the main DCU is trying hard to mimic its feel - a few divergent notes such as Maggin’s idiosyncratic take on latter-day Superman and its version of Jason Todd aside - the prospect of a DCU that remained in that mold forever to a greater or lesser extent even if time may have moved forward could, in principle, free the main universe to go off in wildly different directions, knowing this image of DC always exists in its own space to return to when so desired rather than actively turning the current status quo to face backwards.

14. Earth 17

The Atomic Knights of Justice quest across the radioactive landscape of Novamerika in a world decimated by nuclear was in 1963 in search of Earth 15′s Cosmic Grail, their only hope against the coming of Darkseid. A mashup of the Justice League with the protagonists of one of the most fascinatingly bizarre comics of DC’s Silver Age in the Atomic Knights, a mythic quest, and most relevantly “What if Fallout had superheroes?” leaves this feeling like it’s just waiting for its moment to shine.

13. Earth 8 aka Angor

Known across the rest of the multiverse as the protagonists of the Major movies and comics (as opposed to the sub-imprint Essential Major reflecting Earth 7), in actuality the non-actionable champions of Angor - the Retaltiators, the G-Men, the Future Family, and The Bug, among others - are as real as any other superheroes, and while they struggle under the weight of both mistrust by the general public and frequent in-fighting, they’ve thus far protected their world from threats global, universal, and multiversal alike. The Big Two having stand-ins for each other is a longstanding tradition for good reasons: it not only allows for crossovers where the legal stars don’t align (and adds an extra fun shock of recognition whenever the reader realizes what’s happening), but provides each of them an ongoing version of those archetypes to play with within the confines of their own narrative, whether as contrasts or bending them to fit the tone of a very different shared universe than they were originally created for.

12. Earth 16 aka #earthme

The world where every sidekick, super-son, successor, and short-lived ‘new generation - of HERO!’ at last seize their moment in the sun...in a world already saved by their predecessors, with little left to do but lap up lives of super-celebrity and wish for one, just one little alien invasion or immortal tyrant to justify their existences for them. The best of DC’s futuristic/what-if-time-mattered alternate Earths in my opinion, taking to its logical conclusion the notion as stated by Morrison in interviews that as the Justice League will stick around as long as there are evils that need fighting, the ever-present promise of the torch being passed could only ever truly, permanently take place in a world where the job was already redundant. Playing as it does with in-universe history, real-life publishing realities, celebrity culture, generational divides, and the question of what being a superhero even means sans the usual confrontational justifications, it’s by its nature only going to become more expansive and interesting a commentary as time goes by and the regular DCU goes through its cycles of reboots, rebirths, and returns to form.

11. Pocket Universe 54471

Exactly what you see: Superman made a little pocket universe a half mile wide to go fishing in and he was gonna take Bruce and Dick there for the former’s bachelor party, and he knows about and/or created at least 54470 others. It’s absolutely delightful not only in its own right, but as an opening of the door to what the multiverse can mean in DC comics as a sci-fi idea generator beyond riffs on existing properties, while still being presented with a distinctly DC sense of playfulness.

10. Earth 45 aka Earth 45™

The origin of one of the best Superman villains of all time in Superdoomsday - the Superman idea in a world without him brought to life but twisted by committee into a murderous living brand - a horrifying corporatocracy standing for all Superman and company are meant to stand against, and an enduring threat with the world still in shackles and those in power still able to dream to life whatever vision they please of absolute power to be wielded in their name.

9. Earth 36 aka Terra

Justice 9, the defenders of Terra - or I suppose Justice 7 now after the losses of Optiman and Red Racer, though how long does that matter in a superhero universe? - is the most interesting of the direct analogue groups for my money. Technically speaking they’re another twice-removed set like 34 and 35, standing in for the heroes of Big Bang Comics, but given my understanding is that there’s no major “Like the DC heroes, BUT” twist in that book the way Astro City and Supreme have other than a retro ‘good old days’ bent (which definitely isn’t the case here with at least two queer members), Justice 9 basically function as direct analogues for the Justice League...in the same comics as the Justice League. To me, that’s actually fascinating: one of the most useful elements of stand-in characters like this is the ability to tap into the iconic power of archetypes without the familiarity surrounding the actual figures, in the way Planetary for instance uses just enough distance from the source material to make a couple dozen decades-old pop culture touchstones feel completely new, and this implements that approach to the material to the DC characters with heroes who can actually themselves team up with DC proper. As many approaches as could be taken with that though, that potential alone probably wouldn’t be enough to shoot it this high up the list if not for a major additional factor: in the same way that in the old-school DC universe the heroes of Earth-1 had comics reflecting the adventures of the heroes of Earth-2 long before learning they were real in another universe, DC Comics are published on Earth 36. Aside from the neat trick of putting our leads in the same position as the Golden Age heroes, it means Justice 9 grew up with the Justice League as their heroes in the same way as us the audience before becoming heroes themselves, and then they grew up to learn they were real. These folks absolutely deserve to become multiverse standbys.

8. Earth 51

The Earth where all Jack Kirby’s ideas live as a single cohesive world and adventure. No further justification is needed.

7. Earth 13

A world of occult danger where DC’s traditionally superheroic magical figures such as Zatanna and Deadman are given the full Vertigo horror treatment, while the more intimidating and morally dubious figures such as Etrigan and John Constantine get logos and codenames. Not only an expansion but an offputting inversion of one of DC’s most acclaimed corners, this oddball bunch could bounce off of the capes and tights crowd as easily as your Shadowpacts and Justice League Darks, in ways no other team from any corner of the multiverse could.

6. Earth 20

Pulp champions of a 21st century that remains aesthetically moored in the early 20th, of the handful of Earths converting DC standbys into different genre territory in the local 52 the homeworld of the Society of Superheroes hits hardest, given the role the likes of Doc Savage and The Shadow played in that time shaping the conventions of superheroes as we know them. Add the wealth of concepts presented in their oneshot and the decision to hew away from the traditional Justice League riffs of parallel Earths, and of all the truly new worlds introduced in Multiversity, Earth 20 is the one that most feels like it could support an ongoing all its own.

5. Earth 29 aka Htrae

You gotta have Bizarro World. You just gotta.

4. Earth 33 aka Earth Prime

The in-universe representation of our very own pale blue dot. Whether it’s the birthplace of Superboy Prime where assorted DC creators had to deal with a visiting Flash and Superman throughout the 60s and 70s, meta games with the various incarnations of Ultra/Ultraa, a looming threat yet also victim in need of rescue through the eyes of Justice Incarnate, or the unwitting home of the ‘Superman’ or ‘Batman’ of Kurt Busiek’s off-center takes on the characters in Secret Identity and Creature of the Night, over the years DC has shown a decent amount of restraint in not going back to this particular well too often unless someone has a really clever tale to tell, and as a result it has maybe the single best batting average of all the ‘parallel Earths’ that have been regularly returned to by DC over the years. Give yourselves a hand, folks!

3. Earth 5 aka Thunderworld

Home not to ‘Shazam’, but Captain Marvel and the Marvel Family in all their glory, a technicolor world playing by the rules set down by Otto Binder and company where a superhero can literally battle planets and the most dangerous villain of all may be a very, very mean worm with glasses, a place of dream logic and childish innocence even by the standards of superhero comics. Captain Marvel at his best is one of DC’s most iconically potent players yet many seem to agree that much of his woes in recent years have come down to trying to find a unique space for him in the DCU proper. While I don’t know that it’s at all impossible to make that work, it’s certainly true that Marvel as he was originally presented doesn’t quite make sense in that world, whereas back in his own he keeps a flavor entirely unique to himself and his partners, whether for solo adventures or teamups with the heroes of the other worlds, playing it straight or examining some of the unsettling implications established by Thunderworld or finding a new way to make it work. Much like Bizarro World, it’s simply a locale the place doesn’t quite feel whole without.

2. Earth 25 (?)

While I’m a bit dubious on it definitely being Earth 25 in the core 52 based on interpretation of an offhanded line from Mr. Terrific (it has a multiverse all its own!), the fact of the matter is that America’s Best Comics came roaring out of the gate as proof of its own title, and basically didn’t stop until it ended. A couple after-the-fact Tom Strong miniseries (containing perhaps the most singularly cowardly hack move in the history of shared universe comics in undoing the end of Promethea) can’t detract from the core ABC lineup being made up of some of the most singularly clever, gorgeous, and heartfelt superhero titles to hit the stands, pretty much the platonic ideal of what you want books like these to look like. If this universe can hang around in any capacity at all until someone god willing picks them up again in a big way, it’s a win in my book.

1. Earth 0 aka Prime Earth

The extant version of the main DCU for at least a little longer, it really does feel like more than just about any version before it - at least for my money - they finally got all their ducks in a row, albeit right before blowing everything to hell. Most of the stories you really want to still have some sort of weight for the major characters are still in play to be built on, and most of the stories that clearly needed to be dropped are dropped. The cosmology’s fleshed out and expanding, the big names mostly work as they should ideally work while still heading into new territory, the JSA is mysteriously somehow around in the past without interfering with the primacy of Superman and the Justice League as the first known superheroes (a mystery that will never be resolved now due to the current reboot; damn shame) and the Legion of Superheroes have a new coat of paint, and there’s room for stories cosmically massive and intimately personal and utterly bizarre throughout the line rather than there being a single overriding idea of what these books should be. It may not be the perfect DC Universe by any means, but it’s a real, real damn good one, and of course without that thing, none of the rest of these universes would have been there in the first place.

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

So we've seen snippets of what a post-escape of your "BATIM x Undertale/Deltarune" AU looks like, but what about a regular BATIM Post-escape?

It’s late and my brain is mush rn, so I’ll just go through the cast’s fates. Formwise (with a few exceptions), they’re pretty similar to the ATDT AU, but due to the different time period, different methods of getting out, and a different journey, a lot of them are in a different place.

Everybody (sans Joey and Sammy) - Group therapy, the searchers and lost ones take over an abandoned ghost town somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and Thomas and Allison get to work on various projects. You know how in the 50s food was fucking insane? The Ink creatures had nothing but bacon soup for decades and now they’re going buck wild with food tenfold and ignore any and all culinary rules and the concept of form. It’s chaos. Edible, disgusting chaos. The Ink Demon teams up with willing artists to design On Model Forms and or Updated Models for anyone and everyone who requests them. It’s not super popular at the moment, but in a few dozen decades or so the town of ink abominations turns into a town of living cartoons.

Henry - Happily reunited with his loving wife who thankfully doesn’t question why he no longer has pupils or irises or why his eyes glow bright yellow and instead is just relieved he came home in one piece as she was starting to get worried that Joey had killed him and stuffed his body into some weird magic thing. (She was not amused to find out she was right, but is glad he’s back home.)

 Linda - Happily reunited with her loving husband who brought home a teenage cartoon werewolf son and a teenage demon son who cries when shown affection. (He’s still getting used to receiving it.) The whole ink monster thing is pretty weird and kinda sad after learning the history, but being there for it and helping them out makes retirement a hell of a lot more interesting.

Inkwell “Inky” “The Ink Demon” - Loves his new on-model form and that he no longer has to live as a Bendy, off model or otherwise. He also loves genuinely being part of a loving family but he still has issues regarding how Joey and Thomas treated him so he’s still on guard and does occasionally lash out. He also feels guilty about how he himself treated the other poor souls in the studio, especially his former prophet as he can’t even apologise to him face to face as he has no way to get in contact with the musician. He honestly tries to make people happy with their new designs but he is really bad at figuring out a balance between designs that his clients want as well as fits their themes and story arcs and it doesn’t help that most of their requests are: “just fix me already.”

Buddy - has a lot of mixed feelings about the new situation. He actually enjoys living with Henry as it’s pretty familiar to him and does like Linda, but even though he can see that the Ink Demon is trying to be a better person and trying to fix what he’s done as best as he can, well, you can’t exactly undo years of being hunted down for sport in a single week and it doesn’t help that the demon’s design looks like a saturday morning cartoon villain, implying he still fully intends to be evil.

Sammy (Studio’s perspective) - The former employees have no idea where he is, what he’s doing, or how he is. Inky has tried to see where he is through his mask but the only thing he managed to see was the mask’s perspective of getting burnt to a crisp. The only reason why they know he made it out of the studio at all is because the former composer sent them exactly two letters. However, a lot of people think that one of them was either a fake letter or a venting letter that was never meant to be read as the two letters were sent at the exact same time and they have very wildly differing tones.

Joey - This, but with The Ink instead of voodoo magic.

And then after a while, he’s spat out of the well as a swollen searcher, the creature at the very bottom of the studio’s pecking order and thus the biggest jab to his pride and power he had ever endured. The only person who could kinda-sorta want to reach out to him at this point would be Inky, but Joey’s stubbornness prevents him from asking his ‘son’ for help. (Which honestly is good for the entire studio, as well as the poor demon...)

Thomas - Tom doesn’t like the fact he’s still a wolf, but they can’t exactly give him a humanish design when nobody remembers what he looks like, all written descriptions of him were destroyed, and there’s no pictures of him in the studio. But he’s happy that he can speak and he’s not a Boris anymore. Most of his current projects are currently SCP Foundation-esc reports, studies, and a list of treatments to help other ink creatures cope with their situation.

Allison - She and Thomas took Sammy’s 414 page, source-cited “This is why you suck” speech/powerpoint to heart (before he disappeared) and try to help Lost-Search Town as much as she can and as often as she can. But as a fair amount of the people there blame her, Thomas and Joey for the fact that they’re either inky abominations or cartoons and others just go along with the crowd, they’re not too keen on trusting them or even letting them near their little town. So she spends most of her time trying to help them in a search party dedicated to trying to find Sammy and bring him back in an attempt to win over their trust. (Even though both letters had strongly emphasized against doing this.)

Wally - Got a job as a radio host and his station is pretty popular due to his personality, his impressive ‘voice impersonation skills’, and the stories he tells. Over the radio, nobody knows that you have a tape recorder for a head. Although, during late night shifts, he does receive some pretty strange calls from listeners...

Susie - Due to some acute Angelophobia (not to be confused with Anglophobia) that she got from her experiences in the studio and a very unfortunate choice made in her design, she joins Grant in the “I freak out every time I see myself in the mirror” club. She’s hesitant about trying for a new model due to the fact both she and Malice fear the Ink Demon. But on the bright side, she writes some really fucking good horror novels.

Malice Angel - In spite of how poorly Malice treated Susie, the voice actress couldn’t bear to let the twisted version of Alice get destroyed altogether (she felt pity for the creature when she saw that she became a searcher without her. And besides, Alice was a part of her after all) so while she has been saved, she has also been demoted from main villainess to an Alice Angel lookalike shoulder demoness.

Jack - He’s doing pretty well, It’s not fun being a giant cartoon rat but it’s a lot more quiet and peaceful than being a swollen searcher. He and the rest of the music department tend to (metaphorically) stick together a lot because some of them kinda miss the hivemind in that “There is a fuck ton of change going on and even though it’s good change it’s still too many changes to process” way. He was thinking about getting his model sheet updated to a more human design, but sadly can’t find any pictures of himself to use for reference. Inky suggested an alligator design but Jack also doesn’t like that idea. 

Emma - Opened up her own dance studio in the town. It gives the townsfolk something fun to do and it’s pretty popular. She had never felt more proud of herself.

Norman - Now that he has his mind back, getting an updated model sheet felt kinda redundant to him. I mean, what will change aside from his art style? But do you know what he did do?

Change his fashion sense, this man has seen nothing but black and shades of yellows for god knows how long and he’s gonna wear all of the tackiest, ugliest, brightly colored button up shirts that he can find.

Bertrum - Is disappointed he ever got to beat Joey Drew to a bloody pulp with his mechanical limbs but happily goes back to working on and maintaining his existing parks. (He wishes that people would ignore the fact he’s a ten foot tall archangel animatronic, but beggars can’t be choosers.)

Lacie - Not a fan of being stuck inside the Bendy animatronic, but likes being able to move again. She’s willing to put up with being stuck in the machine because the alternative is the Ink Demon’s art shit and she can’t trust that noodily bitch as far as she could throw him.

Shawn - Local man won’t stop making toy-related puns, groaning onlookers wish he would fucking stop. In all seriousness, he’s doing a lot better than he was when he was stuck in that studio and while there are a few moments where he thinks “maybe approving the ‘human sized rag doll’ design wasn’t my best idea” but there’s pros and cons with every decision made.

Grant - Unfortunately wasn’t conscious enough to give any input on his form. He was arachnophobic before the studio shit went down and developed a fear of time during it. His design was a cartoon humanoid spider with a time motif. He got a service dog, a profuse amount of apologies from Inky, and in a few weeks when Grant stabilized enough to safely allow an updated model sheet, he gets a new design that looked more like a run-of-the-mill rubberhose skeleton in a suit. He practically cried with happiness when he saw his new reflection.

[retrauxpunk]

silicon valley grand finale recap: 6.07

everything under the cut, complete with spoilers :)

okay alec berg

okay

okay

you won me over as i suspected and hoped and wanted you to but i dared not hope too much because of what a clusterfuck 6.06 was in my opinion

i had low expectations as a defence mechanism

but i’ve just watched this magnificent 45-minute farewell behemoth of an episode and you know what? FINE. 

FINE

IT WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD and it’s good enough that i’m now slightly less mad about 6.06 because you know what OKAY the dumbass rushed-execution plotline about the AI — yeah okay now that the finale’s out, OKAY, YES, it was WORTH the russfest deus ex machina fucker to get THIS. 

a really good finale that i’m. HAPPY WITH.

i FELT THE EMOTIONS when i was meant to feel them! it resonated! it was brilliant!

oh man

i don’t know if i have too much to say because i’m just quite happy with it and now that the whole thing’s over, i no longer have the suspense? but okay let’s see

so firstly i woke up to a DM from some fucker (someone i’d intermittently chatted SV with on instagram after they reached out to me; someone who, prior to this, i would not have called a fucker) and all i saw were the notifications reading something like ‘have you seen the episode’ and ‘heartbreaking’ and i swear to god i was fucking livid because, like, i recognise that that’s not a spoiler DETAIL about PLOT per se but i’m one of those freaks who, when i really like something, i don’t want to know fucking ANYTHING! including the emotional reaction anyone has to it because then!! then!!!! i fucking start thinking about what happened! it’s giving me some kind of information that i previously did not have and which i did not want to have because i DO NOT WANT my experience coloured by other people’s reviews! because they give away SOMETHING

(if you were doubting the veracity of me relating to richard the most out of the characters. behold this petty rage and tell me i’m wrong)

(also i KNOW it could’ve just been saying ‘the show’s over now and that’s heartbreaking’ but the point is I DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT because you only get a truncated view in notifications and it’s not like i’m gonna open the fucking chat to CHECK if it’s ACTUALLY A SPOILER at the risk of viewing S P O I L E R S)

(they don’t call me the richard hendricks bitch for nothing, that moniker has a new dimension now)

yeah so i blocked this guy (and then sent him a technically polite and civil but otherwise really fucking pissy DM in response after i’d watched the episode) and then went about my day

i had a good day, which was good. gotta be in the right mood to consume the final installment of my favourite tv show ever.

i started watching.

documentary, huh? this is. INTERESTING.

and it becomes clear that something’s fucked up. even without instagram fucker’s comment, it is clear. given the fact that richard looks like a lonely soul in a retirement home at the beginning of the documentary, with all the colours/backdrop and the weighty comments of how ‘everything was fine’

and then there’s the party ... hurray ... richard in the cake! love it. sometime do some fic/art of richard popping out of a cake in a jarrich context lol

monica’s gift of the text messages! that’s really sweet and i loved it.

THE DOT. HOLY SHIT RICHARD YOU EAGLE-EYED MOTHER FUCKER

also u fuckin nerd with the ellipsis comment........... tbh i get it, i appreciate that joke

(oh jared. dutifully laughing at all his jokes. LITERALLY LIKE HOW SOMEONE WITH A CRUSH LAUGHS AT ALL THEIR CRUSH’S DUMBASS JOKES HHHHHHH)

I really enjoyed when jared mansplained and got bitten by monica lmao i just ............ i’m not fully able to articulate why i liked it but i REALLY ENJOYED IT hahah

GILFOYLE!! appearing with the lock the doors comment and cliff bars and a gun ...... oh boy i love him ;_;

i enjoy that they explicitly(ish) mention that gilfoyle’s an alcoholic lmao

also, dinfoyle shippers, gilfoyle passing out in the men’s room after a rendezvous with dinesh? huh? huh? -aggressively nudges and winks-

...anyway

i love that it’s the combination of richard’s obsessive meticulousness and gilfoyle’s hardcore work ethic and security-mindedness that reveal this fatal flaw with pied piper. it’s a nice collaboration of sorts and it speaks kind of to each person’s greatest strengths (diligence, thoroughness) (i mean we know richard’s other greatest strength is the talent of his coding and gilfoyle’s other greatest strength is also his brilliance and also his being smoking hot but y’know i didn’t say greatest strength at the exclusion of others...)

OH MAN

YES GILFOYLE you have a strong moral compass and want to kill the monster!

laurie being in prison .......................for no clearly defined reason.....and her hair’s still perfect..... yeah i’m here for it. also she does strike me as someone who’d do pretty much fine in prison lmao 

i liked richard and jared’s rooftop conversation. i ..... i was annoyed with jared mentioning gwart because THAT WHOLE THING WITH GWART AND JARED LEAVING AND THEN COMING BACK AND THE I MISS YOU AND WHATEVER I DON’T CARE WHILE LITERALLY CRYING AND ALL OF THAT STILL FEELS LIKE AN ARC THEY STRAIGHT UP FORGOT TO CONTINUE/RESOLVE AND I’M STILL FUCKING MAD but aside from that i liked the conversation.

this whole series has been instance after instance of richard’s idealism and moral compass seeming to thwart his success because he refuses to do shitty things and instead chooses the harder but ultimately morally good path, and it’s ...... i love that this culminates in him making one of the most difficult/painful idealistic choices of all: let his dream of six years come to fruition and possibly (rather than certainly, at this point) ruin the whole fucking world, or kill his dream and really truly make the world a better place by SAVING THE FUCKIGN WORLD?

UGH YES *chef’s kiss*

love that jared’s agreeing with him/supporting him the whole time and you can fucking SEE richard calming down from his initial rage and seeing that, oh, okay, no, he has no choice, he Must kill the beast he has created...

and at that point screaming FUCK from the rooftop seems like a pretty sane response

love the cut to him in his i-mean-business blue hoodie (was it his blue hoodie? i can’t remember but i feel like it was?) being like ‘gilfoyle’s right’ lol

THE THING WITH DINESH’S CAR AND CRACKING TESLA’S ENCRYPTION

this was cool enough that i did not care about technological feasibility, Rule of Cool achieved

and dinesh’s speech about how he couldn’t be trusted! oh boy

like jared said, it was a magnificently courageous moment of cowardice. LOVE. IT.

(also i couldn’t help thinking, lol was this done as a response to kumail nanjiani’s schedule clashing with the others so they had to have all his scenes separate rom the rest of the cast? i mean either way they executed it stunningly)

oh BOY THE THING WITH GABE AND JOHN STAFFORD!!! and you know if gilfoyle had been friends with john stafford then maybe john would’ve fucking called gilfoyle and checked before fixing this shit!!

is this what they intended? i’m not sure. but it sure makes the gilfoyle chess subplot seem a lot less frustrating than the other going-nowhere-but-comedic-relief subplots that were in themselves fine but made me mad when i saw how rushed 6.6 was

gabe lmao

fuckin gabe

BUT GOOD ON GABE FOR LETTING DINESH KNOW JUST IN CASE!! THANK YOU GABE!!!

and OH BOY DINESH! YOU CAME THROUGH! YOU HAVE A GOOD CORE AFTER ALL! YOU COULD’VE DONE NOTHING AND BECOME RICH BUT YOU CLIMBED A SKYSCRAPER’S WORTH OF STAIRS AND SAVED THE FUCKING WORLD!

lmao i loved kumail nanjiani’s horrible wheezing as he opens the door and then despairs and then wheezes his way up the surprise additional stairs, i actually started laughing in my seat. brilliant physical comedy.

also loved gilfoyle’s ‘are you jacking off’ ‘did you do one push-up’ jibes lmao

brill

YES DINESH SAVED THE DAY!

AND GILFOYLE SAVED THE DAY! WHEN RICHARD (not entirely unreasonably) FUCKING FROZE AND GILFOYLE MADE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION AND TRUSTED DINESH AND IT PAID OFF! YESSSSS

oh and speaking of trusting dinesh. richard being like ‘dinesh you fucked us’ and then apologising and dinesh being all ‘you’re good, i’d think i fucked us too’ AHHH *chef’s kiss*

THE RATS? LMAO THE RATS? verging on maybe too ridiculous but I THINK I LIKED IT.

oh boy

CONAN

BILL GATES LOL

KARA SWISHER

PRESUMABLY MANY OTHER BRILLIANT GUEST STARS I MISSED

YES

oh man that convo on the roof! the only issue i had with that was jared being relegated to the seats behind them WHY ! WHY WAS THAT!! 

ok i’m gonna headcanon it as like, they were gonna make room for him but he was like ‘OH NO NEVER MIND I’LL SIT BEHIND YOU, I LIKE BEING ABLE TO WATCH OVER YOU ALL’ ok there i fixed it. it’s plausible and i fixed it.

gilfoyle drinking entire bottles of tres commas? man he’s so hot and alcohol-soaked i’m astonished he hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet

THEY SAVED THE WORLD ;___;

MY BABIES SAVED THE WORLD

oh and now the present day................ (of the episode) ......

gavin as a trashy romance novelist and denpak as his long-suffering ghostwriter/collaborator? LOVE IT LMAO yeah sure why not!! and that scene when they’re arguing but then have this breakthrough about their novel in progress? AMAZING HAHAHAH i hope they’re happy together

RICHARD IS THE GAVIN BELSON PROFESSOR OF ETHICS WHAT THE FUCK 

I MEAN OKAY FIRSTLY he is well-qualified to be an ethics in tech professor given his experience

BUT DOES IT NOT KILL HIM TO HAVE GAVIN BELSON IN HIS TITLE LMAO

maybe gavin made a hefty donation to stanford and bighead gave enough of that to richard that richard doesn’t mind

maybe at this point richard’s developed a good enough sense of humour to tolerate it because if he didn’t, he’d go fucking insane

he said he was happy .................... was he? i’ve no fucking idea tbh. what do you guys think? richard’s happy with a high-paying non-stressful job, or richard’s sad and despairing? ......i’m gonna go with the former. maybe wistful. maybe he’ll start another company one day. idek.

god when he said his best friend gave him a job ... for a second i thought it was jared. but oh well. OH WELL. OH WELLLLL.

LOVE that big head is president of stanford and it’s not addressed AT ALL how that happened and you know what? we had enough of him failing upward that we don’t need an explanation! this seems totally plausible! amazing.

and josh brener’s acting when they’re like ‘do they call you that because your surname is bighetti’ .......... amazing

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DINESH AND GILFOYLE STARTED A COMPANY TOGETHER AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD 

hey i just realised is NEWELL ROAD the place where the guy who bought dinesh’s laptop from the office clearance sale lived where gilfoyle turned up pretending to be geek squad to punch a hole in the laptop????!!

okay i just went back and checked and that’s not it. BUT newell road is the street the hacker hostel’s on!

which is fucking adorable and i love it.

ALSO

ALSO

ALSO

AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED THEY FUCKING MADE DINFOYLE CANON BECAUSE LOOK GILFOYLE SAYS THAT THING ABOUT DINESH BUYING THE HOUSE NEXT TO HIS BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM AND DINESH HAS NOTHING TO SAY BUT ‘FUCK YOU’ AND YOU KNOW WHAT

YEAH THEY DID IT

THEY STARTED A COMPANY TOGETHER AND GOT MARRIED

i swear to god when they said there was a meeting i just briefly imagined the ‘meeting’ was them sneaking off to a supply closet to fuck or something

YESSS

so we didn’t get jarrich but WE GOT THIS

okay whatevs i’ll take what i can get *blows coolly on nails*

jared working with the elderly! that thing about having parents and being someone’s parents! that’s so beautiful and makes so much sense it works somewhat as a salve to the darkly comedic but ultimately not really necessary punch to the gut that was the discovery about his biological parents.

judy reading one of gavin’s romance novels HAHAH YES

oh boy! the reunion!

i swear to god when richard and jared walked up to each other IT STILL FUCKING FELT LIKE THEY WERE GONNA KISS

everyone hugging!

GILFOYLE LOOKING TO THE CAMERA WHEN RICHARD AND JARED HUG

to me, that’s him being like ‘look at these two. ten years and they’ve not realised they’re in love yet’ hahahha

oh and Monica working for the NSA? yeah i can see it hahahah

jian-yang’s crazy jungle empire? yeah fuckin checks out

(RON’S PANIC WHEN RICHARD STARTS ADMITTING GUILT AND HE HAS TO BACKTRACK LMAO love the law jokes/references)

dinesh referring to gilfoyle’s horrible corner hahaha it’s so clear they fucking love each other they wouldn’t have fucking started a company if they didn’t also THEY LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT

at first i was like oh god did richard and jared not see each other for years??? but then there was that line about ‘i saw you last week’ and i’m so happy again. headcanon best friends (not to say that big head isn’t also a best friend of richard’s) and they catch up and love each other and then fall in love down the line (TIME TO WRITE A FIC LOL)

WHEN JARED HAD THE THING IN HIS BAG I GUESSED IT WAS THE ALWAYS BLUE THING AND WHEN IT CAME OUT I ACTUALLY PUT MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH AT ALL THE FEELINGS AND OH BOY OH BOY YESSSSS

<3333

richard losing the thumb drive. HA.

good. good setup

now the spinoff of sv is this apocalyptic hellhole because the thumb drive fell into the wrong hands and now pied piper have gathered to face/fight the apocalypse

i..... could write that fic. i could.

i imagine in that apocalypseverse jared has super surprisingly become a ruthless leader of a tribe, dinesh and gilfoyle are dual rulers obviously (or like, scavenger rebels on the fringes), monica has a terrifying tribe of followers or has made herself indispensable to another leader, richard is working as a tech slave for someone horrible (or is out in the woods after being stranded away from civilisation when the first attacks/clusterfucks occur) but then gets rescued by jared/the rest .............. yeah

OKAY ANYWAY

in short i really really liked it and i think the whole idea of them having to purposely fail to save the world from the terrible genius of what they’ve created is a fitting and deliciously bittersweet way to end this wild journey and i LOVE THIS WHOLE FUCKING SERIES and i don’t wish it had ended any other way

except for richard and jared kissing and sailing off into the sunset of course

[pairup-squareup]

why r u ep 3 thoughts

gripes!

It hasn’t gotten worse but god I hope we are swiftly moving past the exaggerated over the top comedy fear of being gay. I think we are, but I need it to lighten up on that angle.

very poor directors choice to have Sun creepily watch a passed out Hwahwa. It’s not his character at all, it was clearly not intended, but the image of a dude who has feelings for a person moving slowly closer to them as they are unconscious from alcohol is incredibly predatory.

i do not at all believe that was the intent, but it made me wince.

i will note the pacing in this ep was the best it’s been. there was still some extraneous stuff we didn’t need, but its definitely tightened up.

CONTENT!!!

finally i am getting a hold of fighter and tutor. I’ve got a handle on their characters now. Fighter is bad at everything emotional, and can’t stop escalating instead of pausing and taking a breath. Also, monumentally bad at self reflection.

Tutor? He’s a bit of a bastard, honestly. You get thrown off by Saint’s sweet angel face, but the actual character is fast tempered, and kind of a dick. This is not a bad thing. This makes this combo more interesting to me. I’m not into extreme bully/victim stuff, I need people to be able to stand their ground, or for the bullying to be pigtail pulling, to be a failure of communication of intent, not cruelty.

It feels like, and I may be wrong, but it looks like Fighter hasn’t intentionally gone into a relationship with Hwahwa to use her as a beard. He’s just a reactive dude who wants intimacy with Tutor but doesn’t understand why. A fool, but not a malicious one.

His and Tutor’s kiss scene made me want to start a brawl, lmao. 

Fighter: *kisses Tutor aggressively, without consent*

Me: siiigh, but i understand its a trope

Fighter, with an implied threat: Don’t tell anyone about this

Me: :|

Tutor: * calls Fighter/liking men abnormal, suggests he will out Fighter*

Me: ahh, I see you are also a motherfucker

but throughout this episode, we see Tutor coming to the actual realisation of what is motivating Fighter’s truly weird behaviour, even if Fighter himself hasn’t come to grips with it.

As i was saying to @bloubliette I can get behind bastard idiot/bastard with the capacity for thought and reflection. 

Their end scene was cute, especially Tutor looking at Fighter and having a Kanye moment.

“I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle” 

but instead of a water bottle it’s Fighter.

 Saifah and Zon! My boys!

Love that we got to see more of Saifah this week, his character outside of his flirting and being gleefully irritating towards Zon.

He’s just a big puppy. Maybe because the actual actor is baby, he’s 19 (and still growing wtf the absolute size of this boy??) and it’s his first role, but they aren’t making him stretch beyond a more low key natural character, and it’s absolutely a good thing. He’s so goofy, and harmless. Even though the characters are the same age, Tutor was sort of herding him about. It’s cute. He’s lovely.

Again, I don’t feel any malice from him, and that changes everything about this story. Unlike Fighter, who is in a hell of his own making, Saifah isn’t stressed by why he likes getting reactions from Zon, why it makes him happy. And he immediately catches a fuckin clue. Smart puppy.

Zon. My heart. My dear. He’s so good. He is a comedic treasure. His expressions, his comic timing. Love a short boy going through a sexuality crisis in the dumbest way possible. Cannot wait for him and Saifah to start collaborating.

Even though there was as much extra cast as last time, I feel like they made them work much better then the past two episodes. Scenes didn’t feel crowded.

god this is a fucking novel. Alright, plus and minuses

+ zon getting bullied by his friends into doing the song. it made me laugh a lot. shouting high insoles at him? magic. brutal. also of note was him standing while everyone else hunched over or sat so he was tallest.

- homophobic moments with tutor lmao. i hope its a mistranslation but there’s a difference for me between the comedy bl panic and calling liking men ‘abnormal’. it probably won’t happen again, i take comfort in that

+(ish) look at least zol is asking people if they can be in her RPF, and blue was very enthusiastic

- immediately afterwards she is committing BL crimes. its half a step forward, a kilometre back with the RPF novel writing

+ there was this beautiful moment where Saifah looked almost afraid and said “you fall down easily” about Zon, after he caught him. Fear for his wellbeing? Potential jealousy that Zon could be someone elses? Self reflection? I don’t know what it is, but oddly it was the moment of the episode for me.

+ look i liked the dumbass bathroom mistaken sex bit and I won’t apologise. It was stupid and it made me laugh

- boners and the bare inkling of gay awakening aside, uncool of saifah to be like, i will dooo moooore while naked, and Zon feels trapped. i get it, i know the intent behind it, I know it wasn’t a threat, but its because their dynamic is loud Pomerianian has a Golden Retriever puppy fall in love with it, that it unsettled me.

- Sun better pick up his game, and Fighter better be more honest, because HwaHwa is a good kid, who just wants her bff and the boy she likes to get along, and instead she’s being fucked over.

Most coherent episode so far, character development, and the plot moves on, not too fast, or too slow. Almost despite myself, I like this show. It was satisfying. I hope they have more cameos though, I loved those.

[fyrapartnersearch]

It’s 𝔉𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔶 𝔗𝔦𝔪𝔢, y’all.

Well hey there, stranger! My name's Samvs and I'm kind of in the market for a new writing partner or two. Let me save you some time and give you the important deets up front:

⭐ 21+

⭐ M/M

⭐ Multi-Para / Novella

⭐ Modern or Premodern Fantasy/Horror

⭐ Discord and/or Email

⭐️ EST (if that matters? I guess?)

Still with me? Rad~

Like everyone else posting on here, I'm a huge nerd, y'all. I'm absolutely the type to make playlists for every character and universe, to make big ass Pintrest boards for muses and locations and pets (its an excuse to look at dog pics, tho, lets be real,) and I absolutely love sharing stuff like that with my writing partners. That being said, if that's not your style, that's totally fine! I'm absolutely cool with most styles of collaboration!

That's really what roleplaying is about for me - collaboration. I love writing SO MUCH, but I'm not the type of person to write out a whole novel on my own, so I absolutely adore ooc chatter about the plot, the characters, the fucking memes they would send each other, whatever it may be!

I swear I won't chew your ear off all the time, but you're cordially invited to fantasize with me ✨

As for content, I’m pretty open. Yeah, there’s those few taboo subjects that most folk agree not to touch, but violence, sexuality and dark themes are the salt and pepper of literature. Gotta have a little darkness in your paintings according to Bob Ross, and his word is law. I don’t make the rules.

I don’t like fading to black unless the scene feels repetitive, and while I don’t have any specific kinks to insert, I can’t imagine most of my characters (or anyone else, tbh,) being solely into vanilla missionary.

This is the part where I admit I'm probably not going to be a good match for you if you crave daily replies. I also crave daily replies, but I literally cannot manage my life, my chores, my job, my stupid needy cat and everything else WITH as much writing as I'd like to do a day. I'd guess my average rate of response is a day to three, but there are going to certainly be times when I can hit you back much faster.

In short, I might need a little patience, but I'm more than happy to extend the same to you.

Speaking of, I'm also really not the type to be too butthurt if you bail. It's nice to get a message, but I mean, that's really awkward and I FULLY UNDERSTAND being overwhelmed and stepping away from writing for a bit. If you wanna come back, but the fire sort of faded for the story, hey, that's fine! I have about a billion plots to launch your way and as long as we get along, I'll be here when you're ready to work on something new!

On to those plots, though, because that's the good shit, right? Like, that's what we HERE FOR. Below you'll find a list of concepts I already have rolled up fairly tight into almost-plots; they're flexible and destructible and if combinable, so if anything really speaks to you in pieces, we can work with that! I’m a huge fan of larger casts, too, so if you’re here for an expanding universe, then I am too! In most of these, I don't have a preference for role, but in those that do I've bolded the role that I would prefer <b>you</b> to play.

<I> As a heads up, I've been listening to a lot of true crime podcasts lately so you might spot a bit of a theme in some of them lmao</i>

MODERN:

⭐ Journalist x <b>Investigator/Retired Officer </b>:

<i>[A little bit like modern D&D.] A charismatic Tiefling crime journalist meets an experienced investigator through work and talks this delightfully rough subject into a series of in-depth interviews. Though they have very little in common aside from an expansive mental catalog of crime scene photography, they find themselves talking long after the recording stops each time they meet. When the journalist finds himself suddenly embroiled in real danger, and without the benefit of being able to take it to the police, he turns to his newfound friend. What seemed like simple violence is only the tip of the iceberg, though, and it's up to the two of them to do what they can to divert the Titanic.</I>

⭐ Professional Witch x Client:

<I> Magic mingles with the mundane, and like with every other aspect of western life, cash is king. As long as you have money, witching agencies will be happy to help you find a mystic solution for your mostly monotonous worries, whether you need to break a curse... or cast one.</I>

⭐️ Werewolf x Dog Lover:

<I> There’s been a big, strange dog laying in the alleyway beside your house all night, and it’s dumping rain. You can’t just leave the poor pooch out there, right? Maybe he needs a home! </I>

⭐️ Drug Dealer x <b>Cop</b>:

<I> There’s a new party drug on the scene, and it’s making habitual users go feral. Literally. The morphing power of the euphoric powder known as Glimmer isn’t intended, however, and when it’s Fae producer is confronted by an officer on the case of a disappeared partygoer, they realize that there’s more going on here than just a little too much Hoovering. Fae politics and human laws have trapped them in a tight labyrinth that they’ll need each other’s help to navigate and survive.</I>

⭐️ Bonus Concepts:

<I> Fae realms, the intersection of fantasy and politics, odd couples, modern adventuring parties with diverse casts, nonhuman subculture </I>

HISTORICAL/MEDIEVAL:

⭐️ Fae x Adventurer

<I> It’s not every day one stumbles upon a mystic being and survives, and it’s even less common to come out on top. When a wandering adventurer finds a Fae trapped in an iron hunter’s snare in the wilderness, he’s wary to wisdom about setting it free. After cajoling and bargaining and begging, the Fae finally strikes a deal with the mortal; freedom in exchange for a wish. The adventurer can’t make a decision, though, and soon realizes that the Fae can’t leave him until he does, bound by the law of his own magic. Desperate to keep the powerful and beautiful creature with him, he stalls as long as he can. Maybe his wish is just not to be lonesome any longer. </I>

⭐️ Witch x <b>Inquisitor</b>

<I>Most villages have themselves a witch or a cunnung woman, a sage whose strangeness is tolerated in exchange for advice, cures and the promise of peace and prosperity through a little magic when the gods aren’t looking. This village happens to have a cunning fellow, who, perhaps unwisely, takes in a burgled and beaten stranger found on the roadside. It’s not until the unconscious man is already in his home that the witch realized he’s carried back a debilitated inquisitor, a stranger who may bring word of such country practices back to his leaders. Afraid that the burning arm of the church might turn towards his home, the witch has to either hide, show the inquisitor that his people are harmless, or... well, the dead don’t talk, after all, even if that does go against the his vow to defend life. What’s a witch to do? </I>

⭐️ Witch x <b>Fae/Demon</b>

<I> Same inquisition, different witch. Captured by the church and set to burn at the stake, there’s little hope for this one. Resigned to die, the witch is more than surprised when an otherworldly creature offers him a chance at freedom. It comes at a cost: he will be bound to the creature, in body and soul. Depending on his chaotic sponsor’s temperament, that could mean a life of learning deeper magics... or a life of torment and enslavement. A bad life is better than being on fire, though, right?</I>

⭐️ Thief x Warlock

<I> What’s shady, nasty, and might dirk you for a copper piece? Well, it’s both of them, actually. Two adventurers squabble over the prize stored in the city auction house, having both decided to steal it on the same night in unfortunate coincidence. One desires it’s power, the other, it’s weight in gold. Neither realize that they’ve both stumbled into an ancient trap until they split the burden of the curse the artifact truly bears. The curse binds them, and they have no choice but to work together to lift it before it claims their lives. Perhaps fate brought them together... or perhaps it was the wicked call of ancient spirits, begging for release. </I>

⭐️ Bonus Concepts:

<I> Dark magic, pacts and promises, curses, metropolitan adventures and sewer spelunking, social inequality based on fantasy aspects.</I>

It’s a lot of shit, I know. I wrote it. On a <I>phone</I>.

If any of that sounds like your jam and you’re interested in writing with me, then hit me up!

Contact me at <b>transcendthehvnt@gmail.com</b> and we’ll talk it out!

✨

[wild-aloof-rebel]

y’all asked for a recap of the austin up close and personal shows, so i’m gonna do my best to give that to you. it was pretty similar to the other shows (which already are similar to things you can find in other interviews) so there isn’t a ton of new info here, but here it is anyway. under a cut because it’s gonna be long (and my immense apologies to people on mobile for whom we all know this won’t actually include a cut):

the show begins with the recap clip package from before s5 aired. i was a little sad to see they hadn’t updated it to include any new stuff, but it’s understandable i guess. even though i’d seen it before, did i start crying as soon as it started playing anyway? absolutely. was it amazing to be in a room full of people cheering for david and patrick’s first kiss? fuck yes.

dan and eugene come out on stage first for some father and son shenanigans. eugene jokes that dan is a big longhorns fan, to which dan replies that he doesn’t know what that is. they laugh at both shows about various sections of empty seats, even though the theater is supposed to be sold out. eugene jokes that he came up with the idea for the show while dan makes Dan Faces at him. dan says that they’ve been drinking frosé at the hotel all afternoon. eugene talks briefly about how proud he is of dan, and during one of the two shows you can basically see dan trying to shrink back into his leather jacket and hide--it’s so fucking cute how badly he takes compliments. (also, inserted side note that dan looks incredible, as usual, and i have to commend his commitment to his aesthetic for wearing a leather jacket in 80+ degree weather). and then they introduce the cast--noah, emily, annie, and finally catherine, who for good and obvious reasons gets a standing ovation at both shows.

the discussion starts with eugene and catherine talking about filming waiting for guffman because it was filmed in lockhart, texas, which is part of the austin metro area. they talk about eating a lot of barbecue during filming, and catherine says that that restaurant had a huge mural of like, bloody butchers on the wall, which was of course horribly unappetizing. from there they move into talking about all the couples they’ve played. dan asks if they have a favorite aside from johnny and moira, and they both agree it’s gerry and cookie from best in show. during one show, eugene tells the story of how he and christopher guest came up with the two left feet gag, and catherine jokes that moira’s backstory is similar to cookie’s, in that she has a trail of ex-lovers who consider their time with her to be the best sex of their lives. then they sing “god loves a terrier”

next they move into audition stories from annie, emily, and noah. annie talks about the bad spot she was in before the audition (during which emily cracked up, as is tradition for telling this story)--house burned down, $500 in the bank, blown her first screen test, and considering changing careers--how she read and tested for both alexis and stevie, and how it took 2 1/2 weeks for dan to call her back after her screen test, during which time she of course came to the conclusion she didn’t get either part. and dan when he called, of course was... well, dan, and left her hanging for as long as possible before asking finally asking if she wanted to play his sister. (he defends himself by saying punk’d was popular at the time, and he thought it would be funny.) emily talks about her similarly bad spot before her audition--divorce, no jobs, $800 in the bank--and the rumor that she took her top off during it. dan jumps in to clarify that in reality, she had a great audition and instead of saying thanks and leaving the room at the end, she sat down on the sofa, pulled the collar of her sweatshirt up over her head, and began rocking back and forth saying “that was awful, that was so bad, oh god...” dan also points out that her taking her top off would have done absolutely nothing for him, lmao, which then leads to noah joking that the first thing he did in his audition was take his top off. (I LOVE THEM) dan says noah was “underprepared” for his audition, to which noah argues that he prepared a lot--learned his lines, thought a lot about the character, etc.--but he didn’t watch any of the show, for which dan apparently still holds a grudge against him. he says dan also gives him shit for not having seen paddington 2, and dan reveals the ultimate travesty that noah has also not seen pretty woman.

for the next segment, each actor talks about their character. eugene talks about playing the straight man for once and how that differs from all the other roles he’s played. emily, during the second show, feels the need to clarify what he means by “straight man” since there are other connotations to that phrase, lol. 

there’s a brief moira clip package, and catherine talks about the origins of moira’s voice/pronunciation/vocabulary, dropping into the voice to refer to it as “mementos of her world travels” that she “bestows as a gift on the less travelled and less educated [which has about sixteen syllables in it]” as “an amuse bouche of what it’s like to walk in her givenchy shoes.” she also jokes during the second show that it’s a good thing dan didn’t make her audition to play moira because if she had come in with that voice/inflection, they would have thought she was having a stroke. dan asks her if she has a favorite wig--she doesn’t because it would be like asking her to choose her favorite “bébé”--but she does talk about how much fun it is to wear them in ways they weren’t intended, including as a hat, a look she refers to as her “director’s beret.”

annie talks about the influences of the kardashians, lindsay lohan, and the olsen twins on alexis’s speech and mannerisms. she talks about her vocal fry and how it’s essentially such a “lazy fucking way” of talking, as well as the origin of the alexis hands and how it came from the way they all hold their handbags. (her thought process: what if there was no handbag? and what if i turned my hand over? and what if i added another hand?) she also mentions that someone recently contacted her on instagram very concerned for her health because apparently her wrists being like that could be a symptom of some terrible disease. (she clarified that she doesn’t have any of the other symptoms lol). dan says it looks more like she was in a horrific accident, broke both wrists, and just decided not to get them fixed. annie insists that it’s actually very relaxing and that we should all try it before we fall asleep at night, lol. then there’s a whole conversation about the popularity of “ew david” and all the places it’s popped up--lapel pins, doormats, needlepoint, license plates--and annie says someone pointed out on twitter recently that she only actually says it twice in the show. [that’s actually wrong, she says it three times plus an “ew, no, david,” but the point still stands that she says it far less than people think she does.] dan jokes about how he didn’t realize when they wrote that line that people would someday be yelling “ew” at him when he walks by on the street.

emily talks about her similarities to stevie, starting with how they dress, and how much she loves just getting to sit behind the desk playing sudoku and solitaire all day. she says sometimes directors will be like, what if stevie was dusting in this scene? “why?!” maybe she wants to make coffee. “not that coffee!” and so emily stays happy and comfy behind the desk all the time, calling it the best job she’s ever had, and eugene confirms that hanging out behind the desk is indeed pretty nice.

dan asks noah about what it’s like to play basically the only sane person on the show. he talks about how interacting with the roses is a bit like watching a tv show or a family of aliens--it’s entertaining and you’re always waiting for what reference is gonna pop up next to what celebrity they did what with. he says that the day david walked into ray’s, for patrick it was like “discovering a unicorn.” he also mentions that one of his all-time favorite lines from the show is “it’s a general store, but it’s also a very specific store.”

they cover some fan creations, including the taxidermied rats that dan talked about on james corden, a couple of dogs dressed up like the roses, a planter with eugene’s face drawn on it, a little crocheted david and patrick, and a romance novel cover-style manip of david and stevie “behind the scenes” of the turkey shoot.

they talk a bit about cabaret, which is the only part of s5 that really gets discussed anywhere. noah and emily talk about how difficult the dancing was for the “money” scene (dan jokes that it was particularly difficult for emily since it didn’t consist of sitting behind a desk), how they both watched the video of the professionals doing it and thought it looked easy but that it was not. they talk about dan sending them for vitamin drips, and noah demonstrates a bit of the dance that they had particular trouble getting and that led to the choreographer trying to get emily even to just walk rather than doing the move and she still struggled. (here’s a brief video of that bit.) annie also joins in the discussion to talk about “willkommen” and how the choreographer was always so upset that they weren’t nailing the moves the way he wanted them to (her kick toward the end of the routine gets a special mention there), and they would just use the excuse of “well my character wouldn’t be a great dancer” to cover up for the fact that they couldn’t really do it lol. dan laughs about the fact that he wrote himself out of alla that mess.

dan asks noah to talk about his version of “the best.” noah says he knew how much the song meant to dan (they joke in one show about how dan is the kind of person who would hear the original in a club somewhere and beg everyone around him like “okay, but actually listen to the lyrics...”) and how difficult it was to figure out how to take something that’s so poppy and far from his usual style and transform it into something that would work for him. he talks about how dan finally texted him to ask if he could hear it, and he played it in his bedroom 17 or 18 times before finally sending dan one run of it and then didn’t hear anything back for like 4 hours. he jokes that at that point he basically is assuming he’s been fired. and dan jumps in to say that in reality he’d just been sobbing alone in the dark after listening to it and that you shouldn’t just spring that song on someone when they’re sitting at home alone marathoning downton abbey. noah says that what he thinks makes the scene particularly great on the show, however, is dan’s performance as david reacting to the song. dan then talks about the moment when moira reaches out to touch david’s arm and how that wasn’t scripted but was such a beautiful and important moment of support from a parent for their queer child. eugene then jokes that the scene would have been even more poignant if johnny had been included in it, and they argue over why he couldn’t have been there (he was back at the motel with stevie. eugene: “he could have slipped out for ten minutes.”)

dan asks everyone about their most memorable day on set. emily (along with contributions from noah and annie) talks in both shows about filming the cabaret scenes and how it was so great because it was the last day of shooting for s5 and they were in an actual theater with a whole audience to watch them and so it felt like a real, actual theater performance. they were rehearsing it up until the last possible minute, and they only got three takes at it.

in both shows, they talk about the junebugs from the filming of “surprise party” and dan a) not initially knowing what a junebug actually was and b) having a fear of flying bugs. (per dan, “so does nicole kidman. sue us both.”) they talk about all the takes that were ruined because there were so many flying around and how eventually one flew down dan’s shirt and he freaked out, which leads to eugene doing a reenactment of dan freaking out, complete with “fuck this fucking shit!” (the actual version of which you can of course watch in the s1 bloopers) eugene says he wanted to get t-shirts made that said fuck this fucking shit.

in the first show, eugene brings up the golf scene with johnny and roland and talks about the director yelling at them because they couldn’t stop laughing, take after take (which you can watch in the s3 bloopers). he jokes about how it ultimately didn’t even matter because “it’s my show.”

in the second show, catherine brings up the scene of moira and david trying to sell the allez vous products to everyone and how she couldn’t stop laughing because dan looked “insane” with all his tanner and his [intentionally] bad acting (again, s1 bloopers are your friend).

after all that, they play the multi-season blooper reel (which is great because i do always enjoy watching dan say “i never said i was bright, guys, just really fucking pretty” lmao). during both shows, annie and emily sit on the floor to watch it, which is super cute.

then there’s the audience vs cast trivia game. annie picks five audience members to come on stage and compete against the cast. i don’t remember all the questions dan asked, but between the two shows there was at least what’s alexis’s middle name? what does alexis call the mennonites who they get the peanut butter things from on the way to heather’s farm? what was the gift that patrick gave david on their first date? who was the person moira decided to perform a show about for asbestos fest (and a bonus point for the actual name of the show)? what does twyla put in glasses of champagne? what was moira’s character’s name on sunrise bay? and my personal favorite since i got the acknowledgement from dan for knowing the answer, what was the name of alexis and david’s nanny when they were kids? emily hands out t-shirts to the five audience members who played, and the prize for the audience “winning” is of course noah playing “simply the best” and he jokes beforehand that he’s been working on an acoustic arrangement of “a little bit alexis,” which noah, please, actually do the thing. (here’s a tiny video of him performing.)

the show ends with just a few quick words of thanks from dan. in the first show, he mentions that they’re filming the “sixth and final season,” which uhhhhhhhh does not get the warmest of reactions, which is probably why he doesn’t really mention it in the second show.

aside from the discussion of cabaret, there was very little discussion of s5. i think they’re basically still running the script from the shows they were doing at the start of the season, so i guess that makes sense, but it would have been nice to see a little more talk about it. in one of the shows, dan does briefly bring up annie having done both the song and the choreography for “a little bit alexis” herself, and he says they have more footage of her dancing and that maybe they might release some of it as a treat. and then he kind of realizes what he said and goes, “well i guess now that i said it we actually are gonna have to do it...” so maybe we have that to look forward to?

also since there was no discussion of the engagement in the first show, i submitted a few questions for the second show to try to get them to talk about it (some questions more direct than others), and dan did somehow manage to pick one of mine to read, which was asking noah what it was like having dan carry him up a mountain repeatedly. (i know we’ve heard him talk about it already in some of the bts videos, but like i said, some questions were more direct than others, and that was my indirect way of being like, binch let’s talk about what happened on that mountain lolol.) i actually missed the first several seconds of noah’s response because i was too busy dying about dan reading my question (if someone else who was there wants to fill me in, please do, lmao), but i think he made a joke about dan actually carrying him allllll the way up the mountain, and then more seriously he did specifically say that it was impressive for dan to do it take after take because “i’m not a light man.” he also talked about how they got up there and started filming them looking out at the scenery, and that turkey vulture just swooped so nicely right into the shot and circled back out again and how auspicious that seemed. (there you go, @jcams88, confirmation just for you, straight from noah’s mouth, that that they did not edit in the turkey vulture flying around back there.) unfortunately there was no further discussion of the proposal from there, but hey it’s at least a bit more s5 talk than we would have had if i hadn’t asked lol. all the thanks to dan for picking my question and at least giving us this much.

one other random thing that happens throughout the show and made me laugh a lot is that when annie or noah talks about something dan has said to them, they say it in their best impersonation of dan’s voice, and after they’re done, dan’s immediate response is, “okay, first of all, i don’t sound like that,” in the exact same tone of voice they were impersonating. as a running gag, it was solidly funny every single time. i love them all SO much.

[maliciouslycreative]

So I’ve mentioned a lot of times over the years that I used to be fandom famous in a small anime fandom and I spent a lot of my time running damage control to an anti however I’ve never actually recounted the whole tale for you all. Buckle up and crack open a lemonade because we’re going on a journey (more under the cut).

The year is 2004, I’m 17, and in my final year of high school. I wrote a lot of fanfic back then, mostly for anime fandoms and around the time I joined Gaia I started posting my fanfic “Several Blows to the Head” which became unexpectedly extremely popular. But before I go forward I feel I should give some back story because some of you will probably get extremely confused very fast otherwise.  

For those of you who don’t know about gaia online let me give you some history. Gaia was pretty much THE SHIT back in the mid to late 2000s. It was an anime themed forum website where you had a little avatar you could dress up.You gained gold by posting, playing mini games, posting in polls, or even just browsing in general. There were hundreds of subforums and in each of them a tonne of active threads. Another feature was the guild system. Basically anyone could create a guild which was pretty much your own themed subforum that  the guild admin could decide the rules and who was able to join as long as they still followed Gaia’s ToS. 

The anime I was into was (Bakuten Shoot) Beyblade, which at the time was an ongoing series. For those unfamiliar with the series a bunch of teenagers use battling tops possessed with the spirits of ancient mythological creatures and even gods to fight each other. Let’s just say it wasn’t winning any awards for amazing writing but it was a lot of fun and I LOVED my small corner of the fandom. It was pretty much your average shonen series of the time which meant that it had a main cast of 5 male characters (with a female lead added in the second season) and then very few minor female characters. The only actual canon ship was only made canon in a post canon addition to the manga that was not even released outside of Japan. So I bet you all are coming to the same conclusion that yes, there was incredibly bad shipping drama. The breakdown of shipping pretty much looked like this

10% slash

70% canon male/OC

20% canon male/canon female

Now to resume our story. I joined Gaia and headed over to the anime forum and found the main Beyblade thread. I posted an introduction and in it made mention that I was a fanfic writer and I liked slash. This was when I met C. I’m not going to drag her name as all of this went down over a decade ago and I hope that she’s grown as a person since then. If any of you are REALLY resourceful I mean the threads still exist. You can go find them and see just how awful it got.  

C was a year older than me and apparently the authority in these parts on all things Beyblade. She was also a writer but in her own words did not write fanfics, she wrote and posted novels. She was pretty well known in the canon/OC circles and had a pretty enthusiastic following. 

So when I came in to that thread and introduced myself I opened a can of worms. I was told that we did not discuss slash ships in this thread because it was not canon and it made some people uncomfortable. And ok, I can see that. It was cool. I was there to have fun and chat with people. I mean anyone that wanted to chat slash I could add on YIM, MSN, or LJ. However, 2 things started driving the knife into the wound.

It was not ok to talk slash but it was perfectly ok for C to discuss in depth her fanfics because it was an OC and obviously did not contradict canon as the stories were post (a currently unfinished) canon

People kept recognising me because my fanfic was exploding in popularity. So people kept bringing up slash and I’d get dragged into it as my fic was usually a catalyst for discussion. 

To keep things from escalating us slash fans decided to make our own thread to talk Beyblade slash. Now, there was some divide in the slash fandom and people pretty much shipped only Kai/Takao or Kai/Rei but for the sake of everyone’s sanity we put our shipping differences aside in the thread and aimed to make it a positive space for everyone. I mean, most of us were multishippers so we tended to just be excited to read anything that wasn’t one of the 9000 OC fics we had to wade through to find any slash. 

Whenever people would come into the main Beyblade thread now if they happened to mention slash they would get an extremely cold message from C if one of us didn’t manage to intervene first and direct the new member to our other thread. 

The other crux of the problem was Kai. Kai was probably the most popular character in the English fandom and Kai was C’s favourite character. She had an extremely specific idea of how people should interpret Kai. If anyone came into the thread and made a post like “I LOVE KAI <3 <3 <3” she would be rather unkind to them making back handed comments about how the person only liked him because he was attractive or a “bad boy” or that if they didn’t have anything to add to the thread they should leave because we didn’t like spamming in the thread. If we ever started character analysis on Kai then C had to have the last word. After all she shared some characteristics with Kai and obviously that meant that she therefore knew him the best. 

You all can probably imagine how well conversations went in this thread. I did my best to kindly welcome people to the thread, redirect them when they needed to be, and tried to calm down discussions when they got too heated. And if things got too bad in the main thread we’d just move to the slash thread and be super excellent to each other. There were days where C became so unbearable that her friends that didn’t even ship slash would come into the slash thread to hang with us because we were just really nice. 

She was also extremely pushy with her fics. Whenever fanfics would come up shed be the first to suggest to anyone that they should read her novels. She even tried it repeatedly on the slash fans. Being completely fed up I one day made her an offer that if she read one of my fics I’d read all of hers. I didn’t even specify which fic. So she could’ve chosen one of my under 5k fics and I would have agreed to read like 200k worth of her fics. She never agreed to this in all the years of me dealing with her. 

The worst part of it all was we couldn’t even really report her for harassment or anything because she was friends with a lot of moderators. The last thing any of us wanted was to get banned over some petty grievance since we’d lose all our hard work to making our avatars look fabulous. 

If the whole mess in the forums wasn’t bad enough there was 1 Beyblade guild and guess who the guild admin was. The atmosphere in said guild could best be described as… tense. Anyone that wasn’t one of C’s rabid followers ran under the constant fear that they’d be booted for saying something that didn’t agree with her narrow view of things. My best friend and I were honestly surprised that she even allowed us into the guild. But she probably couldn’t afford to outright deny us as I was a pretty prominent writer in the english slash community then and my friend was also a prominent writer and artist. 

Eventually we got tired of walking on eggshells constantly so some of the other slash fans and myself pooled our resources together and I created a second Beyblade guild. Our message was simple, we were just there to be a safe haven for ALL fans of the series. We were expecting pretty much the people from the slash thread and then maybe a handful of other people to join.

The entire fandom on Gaia over the course of a couple days abandoned C’s guild and joined ours. Whereas before we created ours hers was on a steady traffic decline our guild was BOOMING with posts. 

Unfortunately the oldest mail I have is from 2007 on Gaia so I don’t have any screenshots of this but C was understandably upset that we’d sniped her entire user base. We did try to smooth it over with her saying that that was never our intention but it ended with her sending me a message that literally said “ok, you win” and this is something I still think about over a decade later. It forever shifted how I perceive antis. 

My whole time in fandom I’d just been here trying to have a good time. I didn’t intend to become fandom famous. I didn’t intend to be in charge of one of the most active Beyblade forums at the time. I wasn’t trying to change C’s mind or fight her. And this whole time she’d thought I’d been fighting against her because we had different views on the series. 

The last episode of Beyblade G Revolution aired in September 2005, her guild officially closed in 2006 and the fandom eventually started drifting into other things. I stayed active in it until probably 2008 when personal stuff drew me out of fandom and then officially took a leave from fandom in 2009 when my best friend passed away. I don’t know what happened to C but I know she was still writing her novels at that point. Whenever I see fandom drama brewing I always think back to her and how frustrated she used to make me and then I think of the “ok, you win” and I’m just left feeling sad for her and people like her. I just don’t understand how people can let their hearts be so consumed by hatred and self righteousness that it poisons their entire fandom experience. I guess that’s a conversation for another time.

One final comment that I would like to make here since I didn’t know where to fit it in above is that my one friend was completely DONE with C one day and we were talking to each other and she was like “she acts like her fics save lives in Africa!” and honestly this is the most perfect description of C’s attitude. Like good for her for believing in her writing but there is sometimes a point where you need to chill out with self promotion. 

[regrettablewritings]

How differently do they think of each other now compared to when they first met?: You thought of Clark as anyone who’d ever met him before did: He was timid, and something about his demeanor seemed poorly suited for the frame that actually portrayed it. However, he seemed harmless enough; nothing worth digging into. That was what you had made sure to take note of during your period as a mole for one “Mr. Knight.” (You really wished Mr. Wayne would’ve thought up a less laughable alias, but he wasn’t paying you to criticize. Only to keep your finger on the pulse of Metropolis by infiltrating the ranks of the Daily Planet). However, as time went on, that initial response seemed to shift somewhat.

It didn’t take long for you to notice his frequent disappearances during the work day. When you inquired about it, an apparent friend of his, Lois, explained that it had something to do with some “health concerns” or whatever story he was supposedly working on that week. You raised a brow at the matter but took note for future reference. Part of you wanted to believe that your job (your real one as a mole) had been made a lot easier by potentially having a link to finding out who the caped Kryptonian was. But another part of you was suspicious of the possibility; after all, that would be far too good of luck for that to be the case, right? Probably.

You would’ve been happy to have left it like that, had it not been for the brief but relatively multiple occurrences where you’d witnessed Clark be able to perform acts that would have required excessive strength such as moving a full file cabinet with ease, or gripping the edge of his desk enough to snap the pulpy wood it was made out of. It was perhaps in your need to justify everything that wound up being your downfall. You were on a mission – a very important one at that – and it wouldn’t do to constantly pester your boss about every strange thing that occurred in the area. (If that were the case, you would’ve had the Bruce Wayne lurking around the nightclub scene, intimidating every other person who could do a vape trick through a gaged hole in their mouth.)

In this case, you looked to the small file of Daily Planet workers that Mr. Wayne had provided you with, pleased to use Clark’s farm boy heritage as an excuse for his freakish strength (never mind that he supposedly had health issues that may or may not have a supposed effect on it). But perhaps also you just needed a reason to not have to be suspicious of him: He was, from what few interactions the two of you had had, a very nice guy. Not a Nice Guy™, but a man who appeared to be nice by nature. You sure as heck never met one back in Gotham!

Clark admittedly didn’t have much of an opinion on you for the first chunk of your time undercover. It wasn’t necessarily that you didn’t appear in his awareness enough for him to form an idea of you, it was just that with his self-appointed position as a sort of guardian of the Earth (or at least Metropolis), learning about new coworkers wasn’t really on the top of his list. Especially with this Batman nonsense beginning to spill over from across the bay. But from what he did manage to take note of, however, you were polite and dedicated, always seeing your assigned tasks to the end – which was undeniably something that Clark couldn’t always say for himself.

He didn’t expect the latter to come back to bite him in his nigh-on invincible ass, though.

It didn’t matter to you that he’d insisted that all was forgiven: The amount of guilt you’d accumulated after being tied up into his near-defeat just wouldn’t quit.

“Please,” you said, almost seriously, “punch my body backwards. Fling me into the sun… Lois mentioned you got a place in the Arctic, right? Drop me off there and leave me to fend for myself.”

Once again, Clark found himself laughing (albeit in an attempt to alleviate the tension).

“It’s okay,” he swore. A beat before shrugging. “Well, not okay … But it’s all said and done. You didn’t mean any harm –”

“This entire UC mission was to figure out who Superman was so my boss could kick the shit out of him.”

“… Well, you didn’t mean the extent of the harm, anyway.”

Even after you placed your two-weeks notice at the Daily Planet, thus ending your time in Metropolis, the apologies wouldn’t quit. Nor did your efforts to attempt proportionate compensation via expensive fruit baskets.

(“Wow,” Lois breathed, observing the intricate designs carved into a large watermelon. The great fruit itself had been converted into a basket that now held grapes and honeydew and all sorts of other natural goodies. “Somebody must really like you, Clark.” She smirked as Clark’s ears burned red. He cast his eyes downward, but he knew she knew.)

But eventually he must have gotten sick of fruit or acquired a compost pile too large for the likes of the city, because eventually he contacted you and suggested the two of you settle this in a more agreeable way: Having a nice dinner and chatting. Even though Clark insisted it was something he’d managed to pull together, the fact that the restaurant was practically bare save for the staff gave you the creeping suspicion that he had called in a favor with Mr. Wayne. You intended on asking Clark if this had been the case (aside from his alter ego, the man was pretty honest about everything else), but first: You had to talk about the fight that happened so long ago.

It was by no intention (at least, not of your own) that the discussion would diverge into other topics, which then turned into conversations all a world of their own. Things like how different Metropolis was from Gotham. Or your respective personal lives when not saving the world or writing for a flimsy paper or being a billionaire’s second righthand. Or favorite dishes to cook. Or favorite past times. By the time the night was over, you’d forgotten what the two of you had come together for in the first place.

Fast forward to now, when the two of you are a couple. You still think he’s a dorkish sweetheart, but really only when he’s in civilian mode. This is because you’ve since come to know Clark as being far more multidimensional than the stereotypical, sheepish lad he sells himself as. You respect his sacrificing attitude, nerve-wrecking as it can often be. It’s interesting how a man can seem so ideal yet struggle so much with the weight of what his abilities carry, and he lets you know about that weight often enough. He wants to be the best hero he can, but that’s just plain impossible. Nevertheless, he tries and sometimes he pushes himself too far in the attempts. He needs a lot more comfort and validation than he lets in on, of which you are glad to provide.

Clark is quite glad to learn that being ambitious wasn’t just a trait you wore for your time undercover – it was something that you had arrived in Metropolis with, and one that you carried out in everything you did no matter how big or small. Let’s be real, Clark’s always admired a go-getter, so it’s no surprise that that is perhaps the trait he’s most excited about seeing in you. He admires your openness to carrying out tasks, something of which he can’t quite do as often as he’d like due to who and what he is. However, he’s more than happy to support you because you’re his biggest cheerleader and have faith in him. Going off of this, he also appreciates your loyalty. It’s an impassioned sort, assisted by the aforementioned sense of dedication you display. Once your mind is made up, it would take either a lot or your own self to actually sway you off the course you’d set. No wonder he was able to buy you as a genuine journalist for so long!

What do their friends/family think of their relationship?: Given that he’s far less hostile towards Clark post-fight, Bruce doesn’t feel nearly as threatened about the relationship as he probably could’ve been. Of course, he’s still put off by it: He hadn’t expected his spy to come back dating the very man he’d been afraid of all these years. However, given that he’s grown to trust Clark as a person, all Bruce can do is sigh heavily and just let things happen. The both of you are grown-ups, he trusts nothing weird is going to happen.

“Besides,” he resigns, “at least the guy can protect you if need be.” Damn right he could.

Neither of you get the chance to even tell Lois before she figures it out (the woman isn’t an award-winning investigative journalist for nothing). Honestly, she thought the two of you had been dating long before you actually began (“I thought that the fruit baskets were little tokens of affection after the fifth week of it happening,” she said). However, she is quick to regard the relationship as something straight out of a cheesy romance novel and she’s absolutely living for it.

“Enemies-turned-lovers – god, can Clark ever be a part of something not cliché?” she giggles into her morning coffee the day she figures out the situation. Suffice to say she’s at least glad that the man is actually interacting with more people on a regular basis than just her. On that note, the League also soon finds out (because let’s be real, Diana could either see it in Clark’s features, or Bruce blabbed about it). With the exception of Bruce (who is exasperated about it), the League is predominately neutral regarding the relationship. Actually, scratch that: Barry bluntly comments about how strange the union is because “didn’t [Clark] almost die because of the information [you] got on [him]?” He doesn’t mean to come off in any negative kind of way, it just perplexes him at first. However, given that he and Clark are “speed buddies” and therefore share kindred, sprinted spirits, he trusts Clark’s decision and is happy for him.

When you finally videochat your family so they can finally lay their eyes on your boyfriend, you have to pray to whatever god is out there that the camera feed is too grainy for them to make out Clark’s features too well. When your sibling commented on how Clark looks vaguely familiar, your stomach took a plunge into your bowls. Thankfully, Clark was able to play it off as a joke about how he just has “basic white guy face.” It manages to get a chuckle out of your family. All in all, they think you’ve found yourself a “fine young man.” It’s your friends, however, you struggle the most with. It’s not that they disapprove of the relationship – far from it, in fact – it’s just that with them being physically present and far more social media savvy, it’s harder to keep them from recognizing Clark as the controversial Kryptonian. As a result, Clark kept his almost sheepish workplace demeanor, adding fuel to the image by always opting to wear clothes that are just unflattering to his figure. Nothing godawful, but definitely nothing to indicate at the 6’1” mass of pure muscle that he really was.

No neither side’s surprise, they bought it. Mainly because Clark was naturally very likable. Your friends boldly praise Clark for being “a rare breed of man”, and you for managing to snag him. It’s when they ask you guys how you met, however, that things had to be fudged a bit. As far as they know, you two met while he was interviewing you for a piece that wound up getting cancelled. You’re pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to handle learning you’re involved with espionage, much less that it was the reason you are now dating Superman.

How do their personalities/skills complement or contrast with each other?: While both you and Clark are go-getters, it’s really only in your own respective rights. For example, it’s in his nature to present it as tamer. He works in ways that, at their core, are meant to minimize damages to the best of his ability. (Whether or not this actually plays out, of course, depends on the circumstances.) This isn’t to say that you’re necessarily rambunctious but being that you were trained under and employed by a man with an “any means necessary” point of view, it’s easy to sometimes let your ambitions get the better of you. You both are also skilled in the ways of being elusive, with it being in your job description by the nature of the job, and with it being a necessity for him to be able to be Superman and Clark separately.

What is their favorite aspect of each other?: Even from day one, with what little you knew or cared about Clark, you had to admit: You admired his kindly nature. Depressing as it was to say, it just wasn’t a common thing to find in people, much less the men hardened by urban living. And your job and all its accompaniments hadn’t necessarily convinced you otherwise – you were just so used to seeing and reporting horrible, dark things about seemingly nice people that you had lost quite a bit of hope by the time Clark had rolled around. In fact, you honestly didn’t really by his willingness to help or his politeness – at first. But once he proved that everything about his efforts was genuine, you couldn’t help but admire those traits. A little too much so, in your initial opinion.

Part of you even questioned your own reliability, that maybe you took small, normal instances of him being a decent human and exaggerated them to godlike status to make your eventual romantic relationship with him more justifiable. But ultimately you clung to it: The universe was offering you a walking piece of Heaven, who were you to truly deny yourself that? Of course, it sometimes exhausted you to see him try to fulfill expectations that weren’t even necessarily there (especially with his Clark Kent alias), but more on that later. In healthy doses, his unselfishness was his strongest point.

Having been raised in a farming community, Clark grew up appreciating the value of working hard to get results. This has since bled into the real world where go-getters tend to gain some bit of admiration within him, especially those who use their determination to see a job through to a greater good. Granted, the situations wherein you tended to use this trait of yours are a bit controversial: Espionage, for all intents and purposes, was a shady business to get into, especially since his first awareness of your involvement in it required you to be a mole and feed your employer information, of which subsequently got Clark’s ass kicked. But you win some brownie points when he gets to observe that same diligence in you outside of work. If you set your sights on a project or something you wish to acquire, you’re going to see it through, from getting a recipe for a stay-in date night down, to attempting to fix the dryer despite knowing very little about handyman-ship.

Suffice to say, godly being loves a trier.

Do either of them have pet peeves about each other?: It may seem cold, but you hate that Clark blames himself for not being able to stop anything and everything. It’s ridiculous. He may be “godlike” to the eyes of many, but that doesn’t make him God, much less suggest that even God helps everybody. He just needs to accept to the vest of is ability that there are some (and by some, you mean plenty) of things he can’t do. That’s what makes him human. He doesn’t … take this bluntness too well. Yes, he knows you’re right, but the delivery of this type of sensitive subject doesn’t always flow sweetly through your lips. And that’s what he doesn’t like.

Your concern for his self-validation doesn’t always translate as being from a place of good intentions, unfortunately. Sometimes you just come off as cold and cruel. And that is probably when he dislikes from you: That despite being a very caring person, you seem to be a little more detached compared to him. You’re more so about people rather than for people, whereas he has built himself up as a figure for people and about people. As a result, he sometimes feels beside himself, thinking that your aloof nature shouldn’t be excused by what you’ve experienced and that it only contributes to a bigger problem as a whole.

The truth of the matter is that while both sides have valid arguments, the delivery of such concerns – especially when in the heat of an argument – can result in ill delivery of either impression.

The words “martyr syndrome”, “ridiculous”, “cold”, and “selfish” are likely to be thrown about until you either storm off or he practically blasts out of the apartment before he accidentally lasers the kitchen counter out of rage.

How would each reconcile with each other after a fight?: Cool down time is especially important in a situation wherein one member of the couple is capable of accidentally setting off a very dangerous super power when enraged. Clark would never hurt you, mind you; even when frustrated with you, he would never wish you ill in spite of what he may imply when blinded by anger. However, you make him pretty vulnerable, mind you. And sometimes, that vulnerability may mess with his ability to focus on trying not to smash a balled fist against the coffee table and turning it into toothpicks upon impact. And while you may not be anywhere near that strong or gifted with abilities that would allow you to destroy things with the same capacity, you still have plenty of anger to simmer down from.

Screaming into a pillow usually only does so much (mostly just making your throat and head hurt), so more often than not you’ll try to nap away the pain. If you manage to wake up before Clark comes back, there’s a slight chance you’ll be in a better mood. Maybe not a perfect one, but you’ve at the very least calmed down a bit. Depending on the situation, you may have even accepted that you can’t stay mad forever, let alone with him, and you want to just end this silly dispute and make peace. You wait up for him to return which, in itself, is a feat considering that his abilities allow him to literally travel all over the world in record time – which he has done in some cases under the duress of an argument. If you stay up for hours, even into the blooming light of the rising sun, he won’t even try to talk with you when he returns – he’ll just usher you back to bed and quietly say you’ll talk when you’re both well-rested.

When that time eventually comes, the keyword here is “softer.” Speak what you mean in softer language. Don’t sugarcoat it, but there’s definitely a better way to state your claim than, “Shit happens everywhere in the world, it’s not your job or even your ability to clean it all up, nor should you kick your own ass about it.” Clark will be patient and let you tell your side, nodding or furrowing his brows at certain comments, before telling his own side of the situation regarding himself. Then, when you’re ready, he’ll confide in you (in softer terms) his worry that you’re being too indifferent about the current state of the world and his place in them. He understands you don’t mean to come off in such a way, but it just concerns him that you’ve really given up on everything.

Of course, you haven’t. You just felt it was easier to cope with everything this way. He understands. Just like deep down, you understand that your beloved boyfriend just wants to bring to the world more peace than there was before he came. Neither part may necessarily agree with the others’ methods or how it may impact them (making you cold, making him filled with anxiety), but the most that you can do is be there for one another. Offer each other support and love and keep as much of a balance as possible. Because in the end, you keep him grounded and Clark lifts you up.

What would be their ideal vacation getaway together?: It’s hard to place where or even what vacationing with Clark would look like to be honest. Given who Clark is, he can’t always just up and decide to take a break. At least, that’s what he convinces himself. And it drives you absolutely nuts! Once Lois and Diana catch wind of this, they’re on Clark’s back like college students on free food, scolding him for “neglecting his boyfriend duties.” He only really gives in after Diana’s fifty-fifth insistence that the League can handle things in his absence. However, it then becomes a matter of where to go.

Given his abilities, he can and has easily traveled to other countries in very little time with few to no difficulties. But since he more often than not is not there to take in the scenery or culture, this makes it only a bit easier. However, you insist that on vacation he ought to act a little more normal so that he can get the full experience. This means you have to choose a vacation destination wisely, otherwise y’all have wasted money. Generally speaking, Clark’s nervousness about being too far from Metropolis is likely going to affect how far the two of you go at first, never mind how easy it would be for him to just fly back if the League truly did need him. However, enough nudging can result in a trip a little further from Metropolis than Clark would have expected to be besides Smallville.

He finds that he likes Yosemite Park. Not so much the crowds it tends to draw, but definitely the hiking trails and the potential picnics that could be had further away from the screeches of children and bellowing of their frustrated parents. Plus, his abilities make going further inward and elsewhere all the more easy, with getting lost or having to escape potentially dangerous animals being a thing of the past when Clark can easily fly above the treetops and back toward civilization if need be. Of course, he still tries to avoid being cocky and to keep his wits about him, but for the most part, Clark finds himself enjoying the vacation. Once he’s gotten through his hesitancies and potential guilt about relaxing, he practically collapses into a puddle of released stresses, his head warming your lap as the two of you enjoy the gentle breeze of the little patch of forest you decided to spend your little picnic for two in.

He dreadfully misses it when it comes time for him to resume his jobs as both a reporter and as guardian of Metropolis (and, furthermore, the world).

Think of a new way (AU, different situation, etc.) they could have met for the first time

The world was strange, and Clark wasn’t sure how much right he had to conclude that for himself. Because, on one hand, he was a flying, laser-shooting alien with unparalleled strength. But on the other, he was involved with a team composed of two technical demigods (both whose people were thought to be myths), a cyborg revived from the brink of death by a box, and a man fast enough to phase through solid material with just the proper amount of focus. This went without mentioning the fact that his enemy-turned friend was a billionaire who’d been dressing like a bat for the last three decades but, all things considered, that was arguably normal by comparison.

But, with the exception of Victor, you never would’ve assumed such oddities about any of them. Not at first glance at least. But that was the point: The world could only handle so much strangeness before people became too opposed to it for it to carry on. Which was why it made Clark a little more than on edge when things around Metropolis started to seem a little … odd.

It started off with little things: Black marks appearing in alleyways, cracking and booming noises often occurring before or after. “Not unlike thunderclaps,” witnesses would later say. TVs and other electrical devices going wonky or even outright snapping out of life. Fuse boxes would be blackened, the areas around them sometimes scorched. But the electric companies couldn’t find anything about the equipment that would suggest sabotage; and inspectors on the case found little to nothing that could suffice as evidence that there was purposeful vandalism. And with all the more obvious surveillance cameras damaged before any footage could be captured, there was only so much to go on. There was little rhyme or reason indicating a pattern to which areas got struck besides the fact that they tended to be in wealthier areas, but considering much of Metropolis was inhabited by the upper-class, it was nearly a moot note so the likelihood of a successful stakeout was remarkably slim – if performed by the average cop.

Bruce wasn’t a cop. But he also wasn’t the average detective. It had taken some time and a lot of surveillance, coupled with Lois’ own findings done on her own time, but by the end of a month and a half, they were pretty certain they had found their culprit. All that was left was to have Clark find them and bring them in, hopefully to join the League.

Why Clark?

“Pretty sure that if you get electrocuted, you’ll just register it as a tickle,” Bruce admitted. Blunt, but fair.

Still, Clark couldn’t help but think as he scouted the skies one night, maybe the rich guy who has plenty of time the next day to rest might want to go searching in the middle of the night?

But there was no use in arguing, much less at this point. Though some small part of him wish he’d put up a bit more of a fight beforehand. Normally, Clark was glad to have found the city experiencing little to no issues, especially at night. However, considering the added weight of expectations placed on this particular outing, there he couldn’t help but hold a little bit of anticipation in him –

VwwmmmmmpapapapKRACK.

It was faint, being in the distance, but it was nothing his hearing couldn’t register: The sound of fuse tampering and popping out of life. There, some odd three miles away: There was a glow swelling and slightly throbbing with diminishing power, crawling out of an alleyway into the night air.

Well, Clark thought somewhat optimistically. At least I won’t have to track them down based on looks alone …

+++++++++

Moving to Metropolis was supposed to be the start of something new. Something good and new, specifically. Not getting into a freak accident involving a weird, unnatural-looking cloud appearing just as you were checking out your apartment’s fuse box and waking up months later from a comatose state. That alone should have been enough of a cue that things weren’t going to go your way.

But, oh, it didn’t stop there. It would’ve been fine to have stopped when a majority of your clothes would stick to you regardless of the fashion; that was bearable. But it went on: From your phone exploding in your touch to your electronics following suit. It didn’t stop when the electricity in your building flickered with your rage; nor did it stop when, on a fearful whim, you attempted to summon as much voltage from as many transformers in a three-block radius as possible – and succeeded. Well, that is, before your attempts to return the acquired energy resulted in their sources exploding. You weren’t trying that again.

Not until you had a better grasp of it all… . But god, why was it all so dam hard to grasp?

You’d though it be best to practice in the richer parts of town – the electric company would be in a far bigger hurry to bring them their power back, the absolute bastards. But with how many generators and the like you were destroying, you were running out of practice space.

You groaned as you watched the circuit box before you begin to putter out of use.

“Greeeeat, (Y/N),” you told yourself. “You finally begin to get the hang of putting shit back where it came, you get a little too excited, and blam-o.” The all too familiar feeling of disappointment developed a sigh in you; you had long since passed feeling anxious about the destruction of property, and you knew you could do no good by trying to fix it. All you could do now was leave the scene, pretend to sleep peacefully, and try to figure out where to go next.

It had been nearly two months since you started your high-voltage, highly dangerous practicing; surely by now the cops were on to you, what with most of your “victims” being people of note. Logic said to shake them off your trail by moving to a type of location they wouldn’t have seen comic. But … that meant going to lower-income neighborhoods. And as much as you wanted to figure out how to stop blowing up electronics by touch, you really weren’t comfortable with doing it at the expense of those who needed the help more.

“Good evening,” came a voice, yanking you out of your nervous thoughts. It had taken your brain a moment to register it, but you could’ve sworn it came come from the sky: A type of voice dashing heroes in old movies would use; heroes with big, strong chins.

Superman did, of course, have such a feature on him, you came to find. But as he descending from the sky, into the alley (thus blocking your way out), you were forced to consider that every feature he had appeared to be big and strong: His towering height, his bulging muscles that the suit made no effort to hide, his … hands that would most definitely kill you if he so much as poked you with one finger.

That last thought alone, even in a hypothetical sense, was all it took for your fight or flight senses to kick in, your hands suddenly flying up in defense with fizzles of what electricity you’d collected springing in your palms.

Superman, however, did not flinch. He barely even regarded your sparkling, trembling hands (which did nothing for your confidence, both in your abilities and in your chances of getting out of this unmaimed).

“You don’t want to do that,” Superman stated. Simple as that. And he was right: You really didn’t want to have to “fight” him. But what else could you do?

On Clark’s own end, he could just feel the anxiety radiating off of you. He didn’t even have to listen for your heartbeat thundering in your chest. Honestly, though he hated to admit it, looking at you reminded him of seeing small, scared animals back in Smallville. Rabbits and mice found scittering about on the farm to be more specific.

On one hand, he was just glad you weren’t some hyper-powered hooligan willing to throw a punch in a fight they weren’t ready for. But on the other, he felt a little bad scaring you like this. It was probably best if he didn’t near you. For now.

“It’s okay,” he offered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

You sighed and lowered your hands, your pitiful static fizzling to a halt. “Look,” you said quietly, “I promise I’ll go away. I’ll switch towns! I swear!”

At this, the man furrowed his brows. “I’m afraid that can’t happen …” Your heart plummeted before being slingshotted back into a revived desire to plea and flee.

“I swear, okay! Nobody was supposed to get hurt!” you insisted. “I don’t think anybody even really got hurt, per se … Just inconvenienced. But I promise, it won’t happen again – ” In the midst of your rambling, Superman took a step towards you. It was a simple movement, all things considered, but for you, in this moment of high stress, it might as well have been an outright threat. You couldn’t stop yourself from releasing a pathetic yelp, nearly stepping all over your own feet to take a few steps back.

Crap, Clark cursed. Okay, clearly acting serious and stern was helping nobody. At this point, you were probably going to run in the opposite direction and smack your skull against the dead end of the alleyway. To hell with this.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he suddenly said. He raised his hands in a weak attempt to show his change of demeanor. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” You had to admit, even in your moment of fear, the sudden shift in tone was not lost on you.

He still had hints of old school hero in his voice, but now there was something … more? It was hard to place (especially in your current jumpy state), but you were just able enough to pick out nodes of what his voice now held: Sunshine; apples; the type of voice a sweet man running a humble little bookstore or fruit stand might have.

It had to have been a trap. You weren’t one to disapprove of Superman, given all that he’s done, but being on the other side of him just wasn’t doing much for your ability to think straight. And Clark could sense it.

“Hey,” he tried again. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” You blinked, a brow slowly beginning to raise. “We – I’ve been looking for you, per a friend’s request, and – ” No sooner had he said it, Clark regretted it. The look of resumed discomfort of your face made him really acknowledge that.

“ ‘Friend’?” you demanded. “Who the hell is your friend? What do you want?!”

Oh, geez.  

“Listen, please, remain calm!” Clark pleaded. To him, in that moment, he’d thought he’d been sounding gentle enough. But as the nearby streetlights began to flicker, he knew better.

Once again, regret: If there was anything he’d learned working with Lois and Bruce, it was that telling someone on the verge of panic or in the midst of complete frustration to “calm down” in any sense was a bad, bad, bad idea. Saying so to a person who had powers, controlled or not, however? Absolutely terrible idea.

While your previous attempt at intimidation by way of summoning electricity had done little to impress Clark, he had to admit: You were a bit better at it now. The more the streetlights blinked, the more streams of electronic light appeared to gather towards you, specifically in your palms and feet.

“Look, buddy,” you hissed. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of crap leading up to this. I moved to a new city. I got goddamn electrocuted into a coma – ” At this point, Clark couldn’t help but notice thin streaks of static begin to make a beeline towards your eyes. Not promising, if his experience had told him so.

You gritted your teeth, increasingly glowing eyes narrowing. “Then! I wake up to these – these stupid, stupid powers! Powers I don’t have the first fucking clue of how to control. But do you see me running around, actively trying to kill people like every other goddamn psycho in this ‘city of tomorrow’? No! I’ve had to figure all this crap out on. My. Own.” The brights of your eyes increased, simultaneously illuminating the growing rage of your expression while also blinding Clark to being able to make it out in the first place.

At your feet, small currents began to sizzle against the crackling pavement. You were no longer trying to back away: You took a step forward, and it definitely made Clark feel worry.

“Could I have done it differently? Sure. Maybe. But don’t forget, Flyboy: I could’ve been so. Much. Worse!” Clark could hear the tingling rattle of lightbulbs struggling within the streetlights, trying to retain whatever power they could.

“I – ” But Clark was cut off.

“And you,” you growled, “have the audacity … To tell me to calm DOWN?!” In that moment, three things happened in the following order:

The first had been that your eyes, filled with so much fury, could no longer remain squinted; they widened, revealing themselves to be entirely white with pure energy at this point. The second thing appeared to be connected with the sudden snapping, due to it being how any lightbulb in a streetlight or artsy lamp within a three-block radius became overwhelmed – too overwhelmed to maintain proper form, in fact. They popped and shattered, leaving bits of glass to tumble to the streets below.

The third instance, however, had nothing to do with your powers: It was just Clark, getting a word in.

“I get it,” he said. Had there been any lightbulbs left, they might have shattered as well in sync with the snarl you gave the man.

“Quit lying!” you demanded. The wave of volts began to ripple all the more erratically. But Clark held his ground.

“I’m not lying,” he swore. He even placed one hand to his heart, the other upright. “Scout’s honor.” Unfortunately for him, the sincerity of a Boy Scout appeared to mean little to you. He went on, “I didn’t always have control of my powers. I didn’t have anyone to help me figure them out; I had to wing it!” You raised a bemused brow in reaction.

Okay … Clark thought. It’s … better than the glare, I guess? He swallowed. Dare to try one last time before things potentially get yucky?

“That’s, uh, actually why I’ve … come to find you,” he stated. “The friend? I swear he’s a good man. A little rough around the edges, but – ”

“You’re not helping your case,” you snapped.

“I’m a part of a sort of group, there’s people like you and me, and we think it’d be best if you joined – er, if you wanted to.”

“Ah. So, you want to basically make me into a weapon?”

“Nonononono, not that at all. I swear. It’s just – Look, even if you don’t want to join,” Clark bit his lip, “we could at least potentially find a way to help you get those powers under control so that you won’t keep breaking stuff.” A beat passed. “Well,” he shrugged, “it’s more like my friend will. He’s good with science and can definitely provide the right materials.”

To his credit, Clark did begin to notice an apparent lapse in the energy you were emitting. It was hard for the average eye to properly compute it but for him, the change was definitely there.

On your own end, you had to admit: The temptation was definitely lingering through his words. But then, perhaps you were just desperate and overwhelmed and looking for an out in this entire situation. But something still very much bothered you.

“How can I know I can trust you?” you asked, brow completely scrunched with uncertainty. The entire situation considered, it was still a bit of a shocker for one to not entirely trust the great and beloved Superman’s words. And, judging by his stumbling, it wasn’t a scenario he had been prepared to answer right on the spot.

“Uh – Becaaauussseee …” Another thing Clark had learned working with Lois and Perry Mason: The longer you stammer and search for answers, the less legit your word comes cross. His mind scrambled for something, anything that would win your favor over. But, in the end, there was only one thing that stood out. And, for the first time completely since landing in that alley, Clark felt just as nervous as you had.

“My … name …” He inhaled deeply, trying his best not to exhale chill winds. “My name … is Clark Kent. I work with The Daily Planet.”

You blinked. “… Pardon?” The voltage at your feet dampened.

Clark continued, “I’m a Kryptonian refugee, but I was raised here on Earth. The friend who sent me here is – ” He stopped himself short before deciding that Bruce could kick his ass about this later. “It’s Bruce Wayne.”

“Bruce Wayne?!” you interjected. Part of you wanted to call crap but the other part of you had to remember that the man in front of you was claiming to be a humanoid alien who worked at the local newspaper; who’s to say he really wasn’t acquainted with the rich guy across the bay? Judging by the hint of smile this Clark Kent guy let slip, you … honestly couldn’t bring yourself to really disbelieve him. The static at your fingertips dribbled into your palms before shrinking away.

“Yeah, uh … It’s a bit of a story,” Clark claimed, a bit of sheepishness in his voice.

The shift from mostly illuminated to just barely lit by the light of the moon was sudden and startling. But for Clark, it was a good thing. The ground immediately beneath you had been blackened by your doing, but you otherwise appeared perfectly fine, if a bit curious.

“Got proof?” you asked.

“I mean, I gave you my secret identity – that’s pretty trusting if I do say so myself,” Clark pointed out. As much as you hated to admit it, he had a point. And you were getting awfully tired. In fact …

In that moment, you had realized something: That was about the most power and damage you’d caused ever since getting these powers in one fell swoop. You were a little impressed. But you were also plenty concerned. Sure, you’d meant to be threatening in the moment, but the fact still remained: If the only other person around hadn’t been Superman, how easily could you have actually harmed another person in your moment of anger? The second you attempted to truly ponder it, a shudder threatened to ripple through your body; you did not enjoy considering those odds.

But how long until you got so pissed off that you pulled another one of those? How long until you actually did cause harm? That thought was even worse …

“Are you positive?” you mumbled, causing Clark to cock his head by an inch.

“I’m sorry?” he questioned.

You looked him dead in the eye and dared him to lie: “Are you positive you guys can, like, help me control my powers?” The smile he gave you alone would have been enough to convince you.

“We’ve trained with literal scientific anomalies and legends, Miss. I can assure you: You’re in good company with us.” The sweet, honey warmness of his voice did everything to calm the well of fear and guilt within you. It was more than enough.

“Okay,” you said with finality.

“Okay?”

“Mhm. Let’s do this.” Almost instantly, however, you raised your fingers to draw a point. “But I’m not fighting or anything. Just so we’re clear. I’m just coming along to get my groove in order, so tell your ‘friend’, Bruce Wayne, alright?”

The man didn’t even try to hide a chuckle at your stance. You were going to be just fine, he’d decided. And you? Well … the jury was still out on whether or not this was where your move to Metropolis would finally turn into a good, new thing.

[scifigeneration]

Friday essay: is this the Endgame - and did we win or did we lose?

by Danielle Clode

In Avengers: Endgame, Clint Barton (aka Hawkeye) experiences insurmountable loss. Perhaps his grief represents our fear of making sacrifices to save the planet. Marvel Studios/IMDB

I had a momentary brain-fade when I went to the movies this week.

“Three tickets to … what’s it called again?” I asked.

“Endgame”, the ticket seller replied firmly, “What other movie is there?”

At over three hours long, it certainly is a movie for the fans, packed full of emotionally satisfying vignettes and snappy interactions for the cast of thousands that has become the Avengers trademark. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a faster three-hour movie.

Avengers: Endgame, the concluding half of Avengers: Infinity War, has quickly become one of the biggest grossing movies of all time. By pure numbers these are important and influential movies. So what are they are telling us?

Let me say at the outset that this is not a critique of the movie itself. I’m not going to document plot holes, flaws in logic or whether or not the science is correct. I’m happy to suspend a bit of disbelief for the sake of a good story. But I am interested in the function that stories like these play and what they reveal about our broader hopes and fears.

Jeremy Renner and Ava Russo in Avengers: Endgame. Marvel Studios/IMDB

Although not pitched as one, Endgame is an environmental movie – and an apt one for our times. Its predecessor, Infinity War, saw the world under threat from powerful villain Thanos, whose home world had been destroyed by overpopulation and resource exploitation. His grief sets him on a quest (involving, naturally, a gauntlet studded with variously magical and powerful stones) to halve the population of the universe.

Despite being cast as the antagonist, it is Thanos’s character who undertakes the “hero’s journey” in this movie. By the end of Infinity War, Thanos manages to achieve his goal across the universe, without violence – painlessly and humanely, with a click of the fingers – wiping out exactly 50% of the population at random, all at once.

It’s a little unclear in Infinity War what Thanos intends to reduce: half the human population or half of all sentient life. His track record had focussed on people, killing “people planet by planet, massacre by massacre”. In Endgame the goal is broadened. Not just all humans or even all sentient life forms, not just the resource exploiters and over-users, but half of all life forms. It’s a telling ecological misstep.

Clearly, it’s the people that matter and humans in particular. Despite having the breadth of the universe as a stage, even the alien Avengers are strikingly Earth-centric, with the exception of Captain Marvel/Carol Danvers, who is the only one, aside from Thanos, who cares that the same thing is happening across thousands of planets.

Various critics have discussed whether Thanos’s population reduction strategy would work – at least in terms of halving the human population of Earth. And they generally conclude that it wouldn’t.

But this is an over-simplification of the movie’s message. The specific population reduction strategy Thanos employs can also be read as a broader environmental goal – to “restore” ecological balance. Climate change, pollution, species extinctions, overpopulation, resource use and distribution are all connected parts of the broader issue of environmental sustainability. The question is not, is population reduction a viable strategy? (Probably not.) Nor even, would a reduced human population be good for the planet? (Perhaps, if it were sustainable.)

The question Endgame poses for us is, are we willing to make personal sacrifices to save our own futures? To which the answer is a categorical no.

Environmental activists from Greenpeace protest against climate change in Berlin in May 2019. Felipe Trueba/EPA/AAP

Our greatest fears

Eco-catastrophe fiction is often castigated for not being scientifically accurate, and for failing to promote action on any of the various threats that face our planet – overpopulation, pollution, extinction, nuclear fallout, climate change. But when my colleague and I looked at climate change fiction across the centuries, we found that such stories are not about providing answers to our problems, but articulating our greatest fears. These stories – in book or movie form – are reflections of how society imagines the world of the future.

Eco-catastrophe stories have been a part of our culture from the earliest mythological stories of floods, fires, eruptions and storms. These stories of punishment and redemption form the foundation for much of our literature, not least that of superheroes with god-like or even godly powers.

The emergence of both the novel (and modern science) in the 17th and 18th centuries saw a growing awareness of environmental change reflected in fiction. Early Romantic literature may have seen climate change as a metaphor for social progress and human advancement into a Utopia, but that rapidly shifted into the dystopian fears that dominate environmental fictional literature today.

From the mid-19th century onwards, fiction, and particularly science fiction, closely tracked developments in science. Our deeper understanding of past ice-ages and the influence of solar variation, geological instability and the oscillations of the earth on climate, emerged in stories like Gabriel De Tarde’s Underground Man, S Fowler Wright’s Deluge and William Wallace Cook’s Tales of Twenty Hundred.

Goodreads

Extra-terrestrial influences (comets rather than aliens) provided the catalyst for eco-catastrophe fiction in the 19th and 20th centuries. This phase was a phenomenon undoubtedly inspired by the first-hand experience of the “little Ice Age” which caused widespread famine, crop failures, and food riots across the Northern Hemisphere. Astronomer Camille Flammarion’s Omega: The Last Days of the World (1893-4) was perhaps one of the most influential of the comet-inspired fictions and marked the continuing dominance of dystopian over utopian visions for the future.

This pattern continued into the 20th and 21st centuries and, as the climate change debate expanded from a restricted scientific focus to a broader social and political dimension, the literature expanded from science fiction to a broader range of literary forms. Eco-catastrophe has emerged in every genre from thrillers to literary fiction and particularly young adult fiction. And of course, in the visual forms of storytelling – superhero, science fiction and apocalypse movies.

A sense of inevitability and hopelessness pervades much of the modern literature on climate change, irrespective of sub-genre. Rarely is climate change depicted as being solved by human agency. For many, the damage of climate change can only be overcome with the assistance of either supernatural or extra-terrestrial powers. We can see the same patterns in movies where the future of humanity is so often saved by superior intelligence rather than our own, either aliens, angels, or, as in Interstellar, our unrecognisably advanced selves.

Anne Hathaway and Wes Bentley in Interstellar, a film where only our unrecognisably advanced selves can save humanity. Warner Bros/Paramount Pictures/IMDB

Distrust of scientists

The history of eco-castastrophic stories reveals that, far from being agents of resolution and improvement, scientists are mostly depicted as untrustworthy or even responsible for the crisis. Environmentalists are even less trustworthy than the scientists; they are frequently depicted as extremist and violent loonies.

This distrust is reflected throughout the Avengers franchise. The original 2012 Avengers film saw Tony Stark’s (aka Iron Man) sustainable power source, the Arc Reactor, co-opted to create a wormhole entry point for alien invasion. The shadowy law enforcement agency, SHIELD, subverts research into the environmental potential of the Tesseract, an alien object with infinite energy, for weapons development. The same theme recurs – green technology is dangerous and scientists cannot be trusted.

Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark (aka Iron Man) in The Avengers (2012). Marvel Studios/IMDB

And nor can “environmentalists” like Thanos. On his home planet, his environmental crusade earns him the title “The Mad Titan”. By the end of Infinity War, however, he has completed his quest, accepted the sacrifice his choices entail, and his hero’s journey is at an end. Both he and the world have been transformed into a new order. Thanos sits in the countryside and watches the sunset.

Except that it’s not a happy ending. Endgame opens with a powerful scene that illustrates the central problem. Clint Barton (or to use his “made-up name”, Hawkeye) is picnicking with his family in the country – having given up his action persona – and is teaching his daughter to shoot arrows. As he turns away for a moment, his daughter, wife and two sons all suddenly disappear – victims of the 50% erasure. Hawkeye’s loss is both excessive and insurmountable. He loses everything.

Versions of this continuing loss permeate the movie. Hawkeye retreats into his vengeful violent superhero persona. Thor drinks himself, comically, into oblivion. Captain America runs group counselling sessions helping people to move on.

The differing manifestations of grief are represented in different characters – denial, anger, depression, bargaining, even acceptance. But these are not stages that characters work through. Ultimately all the characters are grief-stricken and unable to move forwards, except for Tony Stark, who has moved on but decides that, in a hastily explained piece of time-travel sleight of hand, he can fix the most of the problems without losing the future he has created for himself.

Nonetheless, the future in which our environmental problems are resolved is infused with melancholy. While Thanos’s rural retreat is a pastoral idyll, the rest of the world is empty, seemingly devoid of life. When Captain America mentions the environmental restoration, he is flippantly dismissed by Black Widow:

You know, if you’re about to tell me to look on the bright side - I’m about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich.

In traditional superhero stories, the hero(ine) must sacrifice the thing they love most for the betterment of the world. But in Infinity War and Endgame, the heroes sacrifice the betterment of the world to save (or at least reconcile with) the things they love best. Individual interests win out over social or environmental restoration. Rather than securing the future we need, they save the world of the past. With superheroes like this, my sympathies lie with the villains (and not just because of Tom Hiddleston).

Tom Hiddleston in Avengers: Infinity War. With superheroes like the Marvel team, who needs villains? Marvel Studios/IMDB

So, is Endgame a paean to conservative values, a retreat to an idealised version of the past, a failure to meet the genuine challenges that face the Earth and its ever expanding human population?

Nathaniel Rich, author of Odds Against Tomorrow (2013) once argued: “I don’t think that the novelist necessarily has the responsibility to write about global warming … but I do feel novelists should write about what these things do to the human heart.” This is true of movies too.

What Endgame reveals is that in our hearts we are afraid that the price of environmental salvation is too high, that the losses will be too great, that we will not be able to cope with the scale of the personal sacrifice required.

An insight into the cultural zeitgeist

There is no point in complaining that there are no great climate change movies, or books, with real solutions, or which inspire real action. This is not their purpose. Movies and books don’t help us to overcome our fears, they simply express them. But surely they also reinforce them. Cliched fears about the risks of environmental change, scientists and technology may not be intentionally promoted but they risk promulgating pervasive subconscious biases that both perpetuate and delay vital cultural change.

The real risks of environmental inaction, of course, massively outweigh the risks of any environmental action. But that message does not yet seem to be permeating the popular psyche.

It may well be true, too, that the worst environmental costs will not be borne by the relatively well-off viewers of Avengers movies, but disproportionately by poorer and more vulnerable communities (something that only heightens the irony of fictional East African nation Wakanda’s role in the Avengers franchise).

A 2017 climate march in Washington DC. Nicole S Glass/ Shutterstock

Effective environmental action does not demand the destruction of half the human population. But it does require the vastly more efficient use and distribution of resources. The sacrifice is not that of the individual, but the vested interests in old-world resources and technology who would prefer not to incur the costs of change. Responding to environmental change does not threaten our comforts, but failing to act will.

Endgame isn’t the endgame: it’s an insight into the cultural zeitgeist. Neither threats nor solutions come from purple aliens, gods or superheroes. They come from us – politicians, scientists, environmentalists, industry and the general public.

Markets, technology and industries can and will adapt rapidly to changing circumstances, in milliseconds, months or even decades. Economies recover, but species do not. The environment takes millennia to adapt and what is lost never comes back. We need to face our fears and find solutions to these problems, rather than just perpetuating the fantasy of regressing into the past.

As Peter Parker says: “You can’t be a friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, if there’s no neighbourhood.”

About The Author:

Danielle Clode is a Senior Research Fellow in Creative Writing at Flinders University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. 

[maquekenzie]

A D&D (5th Ed!) Character Survey!

Made because my WoD one doesn’t work well for D&D which is what I’m mostly playing now! I love doing these after I’ve played my character a few times as they let me develop them - and I love redoing them later to see how much they’ve changed. I imagined other people do too!

 The Sheet

What is your character's full name? Why did you choose it and does it have any special significance in or out of character?

Does your character have any nicknames or alternate names they go by? How did they get them?

What race is your character? How/Why did you choose it for them? Was it just for stats reasons - or was it because of the back story you had in mind? Explain it to us!

What class(es) is/are your character? How did they come to be that?

If you had to sum up your character in five words or less, how would you do it?

List your characters attributes, and then head over here and copy paste what each level corresponds to. 

Now, looking at above - would you say that matches how you think of your character in your head? Why did you choose to make your character's lowest stat their lowest stat?

List what skills your character has proficiency and expertise in. How did they gain proficiency/expertise in these skills? I don't mean like "I dunno, I chose them," they had to develop them at some point through their life, right? As an example: if they have arcana proficient - did they study with a wizard? Were they having to work with a lot of magical items?

What is your character's alignment? Why did you choose it? Head here and copy paste the description of your character's alignment. Does it sound fitting?

Before we continue on: have all these things always been the same for your character? Has their race ever changed due to a reincarnation spell? Did they always intend to multiclass? Have you altered their alignment? Don't explain thoroughly yet - just say yes/no, and if yes, note what changed, but not why.

Describe the realm in which your character's game takes place. Are you playing in a pre-made world like Faerun, is it homemade by your DM, etc. What's the area like? How’d your character get to where they are now?

Brawny or Scrawny

So earlier, you talked about your character's race. In D&D, races can age and die fast (half-orcs generally only last 50-60 years) while some last forever (elves can live centuries.) You can see the general age range of races here. So how old is your character? Do they look older or younger than their age? How do you indicate their age?

What gender does your character identify as?

How tall is your character? Is this tall or short for their race?

Describe your character's body type - slender, overweight, gangly, stubby-limbed, pear-shaped, stocky, etc.

Describe your character walking in three totally different locales: First, describe them walking in a place they feel comfortable and safe. Second, describe how they walk through a dungeon laced with traps. Third, describe them walking in a place where they feel extremely out of place - say a druid who hates cities in the middle of a city at a party, or a rogue who hates spotlight walking across a stage.

What's your character's skin color and general appearance otherwise - example: blotchy, ashy, covered in boils, etc?

What's your character's hair color/style/general appearance? If they vary it, give us some examples of styles.

What color are your character's eyes?  Do their eyes stand out in any special way (for the sorcerers out there!)?

Describe your character as purple prosey as possible - as if someone who considers them the love of their life has just spotted them across a room and is writing it in a romance novel.

Look, in D&D, most races don't stand out - like sure, dragonborn and tiefling are rare in most games, but people are still used to them so they don't cast a second glance. Thus: what is your character's most distinguishing feature, basic "well I'm an X!" aside? What’s the first thing someone notices about them?

Does your character have any scars, tattoos, or birthmarks? Describe ‘em, as well as how/why they got them.

Describe your characters general clothing style. What do they wear when relaxing and not on an adventure? What do they wear on an adventure? See if you can find some outfit examples.

What weapons does your character carry? Please note for our magic users, this means your arcane foci and pouches too!

Does your character have any magic items? What are they? What do they do?

Does your character have any other accessories they commonly wear?

Describe your character’s voice - what’s the tenor, is it scratchy like they smoke nine packs a day, do they have any specific accent? It's a fantasy world, sure, but that doesn't mean you can't add an accent. Also on that note - does it ever change? Example: some people have a customer service voice where things are suddenly peppy and bouncy.

Friends, Families, and the Jerks You Travel With

You're born to a family whether you love them or hate them - in most cases, anyway. In D&D you can have all sorts of starts to your life. What did your character’s family consist of as they grew older - and are they still around now? Describe each family member - or if they were orphaned, the people at the orphanage, or if they were adopted, that. Does your character miss them - hate them - love them - want to avoid them? Describe your character's relationship to them.

Who's in your character's party, and what are their real, honest opinions of them? If you're in a West Marches style D&D game - where you have a much larger group of 10+ and you travel on an adventure with whoever you can gather each week - just choose the characters who would make the ideal party for your PC here.

Are there any NPCs (Non-Player-Characters - those people the DM plays) who aren't part of the aforementioned party your character is attached to? What does your PC think of them, and why are they close?

Got any other - maybe not friends, but positive relationships aside from the aforementioned? What's your relationship with them?

All righty - in a D&D game you ALWAYS have monsters to fight - but who's the big bad, if you have one? Why does your character want to put a stop to them? Are there any smaller villains in your campaign your character wants to put a stop to?

So you may have mentioned a love interest or two before this point - if so, describe a little more about your character's relationship with this/these person(s), and how they became love interest(s). Does your character have any crushes outside of their love interest(s)? Why?

The Past

We know where your character's game takes place. Is this the same place they grew up - or some place they came more recently? What do they love or hate about it?

Does your character have any notable family history they have to live up to, or an infamous ancestor, or some sort of ancient legacy they have to take the mantle up on? Have they been gifted any sort of destiny super quest from their god of choice? Basically - has something extremely notable happened to set up your character? Are they going to follow it - or try to subvert it? If they don't have one - do they wish they did?

What was your character's childhood like? Was it traumatic - or happy? Pick three memories from their childhood and describe them in a paragraph - try to vary them.At least one happy and one sad. The third should lean toward how their childhood was - that is, if traumatic, make it sad, etc.

D&D games aren't rife with proper schooling, but there are mage colleges and towers and some countries have schooling - so what was your character's education like?   How were they in school, how much school did they complete? I don’t even just mean the academic side here, I mean, the social side. What were their cliques (as much as you can compare them to Modern Teen Movies, anyway), their stereotypes, etc.

What’s your characters vocational life like? Have they worked a bunch of jobs, or just one - did they intern? What’s their dream job, did they ever get fired, etc. Are they too young to have had a job?

I'm presuming you've been on this adventure for at least a little bit at this point. Let's go back to your party members. List each one, and then a short line referencing a memory or scene that cemented your character's relationship with that character - or a moment that defined their relationship. For instance, say your relationship with Horb the Half-Orc was fine - but you became friends once when he approached you while you were losing at cards and he subtly stood behind a guy and made him nervous, helping you win. Etc.

What have been your character's two happiest moments on the adventure?

What have been the two most traumatic moments on the adventure for your character?

What are two moments that had you - the player - laughing aloud during the adventure? Equally, have you ever cried? Was it at the traumatic moments - or something else?

So - earlier I asked if things on your character's sheet had always been the way they are now. Not counting feats/basic mechanical upgrades that changed things - what happened that caused your character to change? If they changed alignment, why? If they changed race, gender - what happened? Why did they multiclass?

What's Inside Your Heart

Give me six words that describe your character. Three positive, three negative. Adjectives or nouns work. Make sure your negatives are actually negatives. "Too nice :)" isn't a negative. Don't try to explain away anything. Just state it, leave it. Don't include "sort ofs." Sort ofs are BORING.

What's your character's sexual orientation? Romantic orientation? What is your character into romantically (by which I mean - what do they want out of a date and a relationship)? Do they have a TYPE?

How has your character changed over the course of the adventure? Have they changed a lot, or more remained the same?

Beyond the adventure: what are your characters dreams or ambitions?  After all is said and done, what sort of life does your character want to live?

Player, what are your goals for the character? These don't have to match the above - they can just be torture for your character to have to deal with. Are there any specific moments you want your character to have? This can be as general or as specific as you'd like - from "I want Jolly the Dwarven Barbarian to encounter his ex-husband and find out that his husband joined the Crusading Knights which sends Jolly into a spiral to join the villain's side and lead an army of wights! - to "I want a scene where my character meets the tsundere NPC and they have an angsty talk that results in them CRUSHING HARD."

What do you think your character's biggest strength is?

What do you think the others in your character's party would say their biggest strength is? Feel free to ask your party members to answer for you! It may surprise you.

What do you think your character's biggest flaw is?

What do you think the others in your character's party would say their biggest flaw is? Feel free to ask your party members to answer for you! It may surprise you.

Has your character's strength or weakness been defined in any particular scenes? Tell us about them!

Does your character believe in a higher power of any sort, or have any sort of specific belief or code they follow? Describe ‘em and how they feel about them.

Your character is in D&D so they've killed before. That said - what does your character find morally unjust? What kind of murder would they never commit - or would they kill without a care?

What’s your character’s view of authority? Do they not mind it? Do they follow orders? Do they want to be on top and panic at the sheer idea of anyone having status over them?

Does your character have any habits that someone may not notice at first blush?

How does your character react to being made fun of - or, less specifically, to failure in general? How would your character feel if they worked hard at something and it failed? I mean, obviously shitty, but any specific actions? Do they accept it, get defeated - etc.

Hey, I’m a lyrics dweeb, what’s up with you? Pick six songs with lyrics - link them and quote those lyrics, and then note why you think that song really suits your character be it for personality, their history, their general feelings…Feel free to point out specific lyrics or musical moments.

What would you say your character’s comfort zone is - that is, how do they feel with touching and physical affection, how do they feel with more squeamish matters like talking about periods or committing violence, etc.

What role does your character fill within their group - if they have one? If you need help here, check out the five-man band trope on TV tropes. But in general, how do they feel about this role, and what do they have to do to maintain it, and is there someone in the group who’d be better at it? Are they envious of anyone else’s skills?

Stupid Quizzes!

Take these as your character! First is the question, second is the quiz link, THEN your answer. Add as many as you like - I like to do ones about “What element is your character?” and “What Sailor Moon character are you?” etc - but I try to keep it short cause most people I know who actually use this  prefer fewer.

What Hogwarts house is your character? Do you think the one you got fits - or were you surprised? CLICK HERE

What D&D character would you be? Does the class match your class? CLICK HERE

What D&D alignment are you? Does the alignment match yours? CLICK HERE

What’s your character’s Myers-Briggs personality type? CLICK HERE

What is your daemon? (at the end of the first quiz, it will link to a second quiz that will make it more specific - don’t miss it!) CLICK HERE 

[lvtvr]

hey, i just wanted to. like. talk to someone? and you seem really nice ;-; i feel like sk relationship is going to go in a direction i won't like and that makes me uncomfortable (i.e romantic). i don't mind people shipping it but in the actual show it makes me very uncomfortable, is it bad that i'll feel disappointed if it happens? i'll live because it's a show lol but i can't help but feel like i'll be disappointed about that if it becomes true

“i’ll live because it’s a show but i’ll be disappointed” A PERSON BEING RATIONAL? ON MY TUMBLR? IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK... bless ur soul friend...

dgsjdgsdlgk jokes aside pal, you’re not alone in this!! i used to be fine w sk (and i still am totally okay with people shipping it) but after canon established certain things about their relationship i’m not really comfortable thinking about them together that way anymore. with that said, i truly do not think it’s being set up to be canon. part of the sk fandom has developed a weird, obsessive conviction that their ship will go canon, similar to That part of the kl fandom, so a lot of the content floating around tumblr is deliberately cherrypicked to make the framing seem romantic when it’s really, really not. not saying you can’t read romance into it -- they’ve got chemistry for sure -- but objectively, it’s just not in the cards.

here’s some reassurance for u why sk will Not go canon!

voltron is a show for kids aged 7 and up, which means there are themes that would be acceptable in a show for adults that are simply too mature for this material deal with. romantic sk would deal with a LOT of such themes.

for instance, shiro has been shown onscreen in an instructor/teaching position to a class keith was in, and has continued being a mentor/guiding light to keith even in current canon. while there are tons of YA novels and stuff where older teens get it on with their teachers/authority figures, it’s, um, not very common for the younger demographic. (inb4 “keith’s the leader now not shiro so he’s not an authority figure anymore”: take your navel gazing technicalities elsewhere and use some common sense bls.)

keith has referred to shiro as being “like a brother to me” and said “you’re my brother, i love you” (bc yes, people do in fact say "i love you" every day and mean it platonically, regardless of what the fandom tries to tell you -- “i love you” is not romantically coded lol wtf). while i absolutely do not condone shoving these lines in shippers’ faces to make them feel bad about their ship, they’re still explicit canon. we haven’t been shown anything that indicates keith’s saying it to deny his feelings in some way. like, by the time katara said aang was like a brother to her, aang had been shown to have a crush on her from day one. the set up is entirely different.

going off both the above points, krolia also thanked shiro for helping raise keith. now, obviously, shiro didn’t rear him from the time he was a baby, but he was the adult figure in keith’s life during his adolescence and formative years. i believe i’ve also seen word of god that confirms this. a young twenty-something seems very adult to a preteen/young teen. sending the message that the trusted adults around you will end up as your romantic partner one day is... probably not something the show intends to do.

voltron is a MAINSTREAM kids’ show. the mainstream is not tumblr. it does not -- and often cannot -- correspond to tumblr levels of progressiveness. the crew had to fight to get shiro confirmed mlm. they’ve mentioned they had to be adamant, no pun intended, to make sure adam was acknowledged as shiro’s boyfriend and not just his “roommate”. making one main character mlm is already a HUGE step. two characters would be nearly unheard of -- especially two members of the main cast in a relationship with each other. like, don’t get me wrong: i want to live in the world where we can have that. but we aren’t there yet. we just aren’t.

which btw is why NO gay ships between any paladins will be canon. any same-sex romance will be between a paladin and a side character, as we’ve seen with adam. and THAT’S the tea.

i hope that could help put your mind at ease!! now let’s hype s7, ship whatever we want, and remember that it’s just a show. have a great day