#what if he left her with someone and they didn't properly deal with her medical issues? he'd never forgive himself

[multishipper-baby]

Thinking about how the whole Deya situation resolved because having the family fight makes me big sad :c

[captain-mj]

The Journal

I don't know. Cw: Ghost's backstory

Soap found the unassuming book on his desk. The edges of the paper had turned slightly yellow and they were clearly flipped through quite often. He frowned at it, wondering who went into his room and set this there. It felt... almost threatening.

Soap gently opened the book to look at the first page.

I'm writing this journal as a "therapy" exercise. Frankly I think it's fucking bollocks. I'm fine. I dream about nothing.

Well. That wasn't very helpful. The handwriting was odd. Almost scrawling, like the person who was writing had shaky hands but also couldn't be bothered to hold the pen properly.

Soap frowned. This seemed a rather personal thing to give to a person. But it was in his room.

Just one more page.

Apparently I'm supposed to introduce myself. Fine. My name is Simon Riley. I belong to the SAS. I was a POW for a couple of months. I keep hearing numbers but none of them feel right. I think parts of me are still down there.

I hurt. Everywhere. Especially when people touch me. I can't sleep. Can barely eat. My mum is worried. So does Tommy. I want to tell them to fuck off. I have. But they keep worrying. I wonder if this is how Beth felt.

On the page was a polaroid. A baby faced Simon with nasty scars on his face, still fresh and angry. He looked half dead. Dark circles under his eyes and an expression nothing like his usual. Someone had their hand on his shoulder, but he could only see their arm.

Soap sucked in a breath. There was no way Ghost gave this to him. No fucking way.

He got up and grabbed the book, going straight for Ghost's quarters, planning on returning it immediately and pretending he had found it and couldn't find Price to turn it in.

Ghost's quarters were empty. His knives were missing, but his clothes were still there, meaning he was on a mission.

Fuck.

Soap paused and tapped his foot. He wasn't sure if Price was around. How did someone get this? If he left it in his room, he was worried someone would find it. He'd have to keep it. Just to be sure.

Soap set it back on his desk. When he saw Price, he'd talk to him.

After a minute of staring at it, Soap shoved the book into a drawer and closed it tight. He left to talk to Gaz to distract himself for a few hours.

Gaz was nice enough to tell him that Ghost and Price were on a mission together and that they wouldn't be back for a few days.

No big deal.

A few days with a book that potentially had a lot of answers to some questions he had about Ghost.

Soap didn't make it the night before he was reading more pages. He never claimed to have great self control.

Good morning. I feel like a teen, writing in a diary. I've been put on new medication today. Supposed to help. It makes me dizzy for some reason.

My mum keeps making me tea. She wants to make sure I'm real. I see her hands hovering around me. If I wasn't such a shit son, I'd tell her she can hug me. The thought makes my skin crawl. I see her dead body in my dreams. I see the skull they said was hers. I want to tell her I'm okay, but I don't want to lie.

Soap felt sick. There was a drawing. It was crude, clearly done out of boredom and with no real care behind it. Soap was pretty sure it was a skull that was dripping something. Maybe blood. The ink was all black so there was no way to tell. "Mum" was written several times around it.

I dreamed about her again.

That caught Soap's attention. Her? Was Ghost into women? That seemed unlikely.

She used to speak so soothingly in spanish to me. I wonder if she was like me. Did Roba rape her too?

Soap shut the book and shoved it under his pillow. Enough of that. Nope. He didn't want to think of those words and what they meant.

Fucking too.

No.

No...

No!

The idea of something like that happening to his Lieutenant was... It just... didn't happen.

Soap pulled the book out and kept reading. Just... to prove it wasn't real.

I don't know. It's not a nice thought. Maybe I want someone else to hurt too. I tried to jack off the other day and ended up scrubbing myself raw afterward from how it made me feel. How pathetic right?

Not sure what this is doing. What benefit this has. I'm writing my thoughts. Trying to feel better. Tommy joked about me buying a hooker. I had a panic attack. it was like i was back in high school again. fucking baby.

There was a picture of someone, presumably Tommy, and Simon hanging out. They were both smoking and Tommy was making a sign with his hands. He had a giant grin on his face. Simon had a carved out Glasgow smile that looked like it hurt. Raw. it looked to be after the earlier polaroid. The dark circles hadn't gotten better, but there was more color and flesh in his face.

My mum wants me to talk to my dad. I don't know why. I don't know want to see him. Can't let him see me right now. Maybe when I'm recovered. Last time I saw him, I beat his ass. Doubt he's going to forgive me.

Bastard is pure evil. He gets off on hurting people. Got off on hurting me. I think he's trying to use the cancer as an excuse to get close to my mum again. I'll beat his ass again. I'm putting on more weight. I'll fucking do it.

There was a little stick man drawing labeled 'Simon' and 'Bitch' with Simon beating him to death. Soap thought the blood was rather well drawn, even if the stick figures wasn't.

As the week went on, he kept reading a few pages at a time. He learned... things.

Ghost liked Vanilla tea.

Ghost had been assaulted by more than one person.

Ghost's father had beaten him. A lot.

Ghost was scared of snakes.

Ghost loved his Mum.

Ghost hated most mystery movies.

Tommy was Ghost's brother and was the second most important in his life.

And that they were all dead. All of them.

He wrote an explanation of everything there. In a clinical, harsh detail.

I wish I had died down there in Mexico. I wish I had laid down in that grave and died. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.

It kept repeating and then he had just started over and wrote over the first layer.

Soap was crying. He couldn't help it. Tommy was so... young. Not to mention the descriptions Ghost gave of his family in general. The pages after that were mostly drawings or scribbles, all made with heavy hands.

Simon knocked. He could tell by the sound he made when he knocked. "Johnny?"

"When did you get back?"

"...Just now. Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Soap wiped his face so he'd look... normal. "Yeah come in."

Ghost stepped inside and saw the book. "Enjoy it?"

"What?"

"I left it for you."

"Why?"

Ghost hummed. "Thought it would be the easiest way to let you in."

Soap swallowed. "You don't do anything half assed do you?"

Ghost's eyes stared at him. Answer enough right there.

[mamamittens]

Failwife cringe au romance where Nikia is having A Time trying to just live on board the Moby Dick.

A real comedy of errors where she's actively struggling to integrate with a crew of mostly men who have all lived at sea for years. She doesn't have a particular job and there's not really an obvious space for her to fill. She's not even sure where the hell starboard and port are. She can't even really talk to the nurses cause they scare her with their thigh highs and miniskirts, as well as spending so long avoiding going into the medical field herself. When she does manage to go to the mess hall, she sits far away from everyone to avoid getting smacked by accident from boisterous men or having her food stolen (mainly with Ace), not wanting to intrude on anyone's time or space.

There's just so many people on board that are so loud and she's used to pretty intense isolation. She's just not prepared for this level of constant social interaction.

So naturally, after many attempts from several people (she's near tears, why have eight random dudes started talking to her only to run off when she's trying to politely listen--her polite smile is virtually non-existent to the naked eye and her intense not-eye contact is unnerving when not followed by properly engaged conversation) Thatch gives it a crack. Hand patting her back (wings) as he slides in next to her.

Only for her to quietly, accidentally breath out

"Why are you here, I'm going to vomit" (from nauseous anxiety triggered by someone suddenly touching at the sensitive base of her wings while striking up a conversation when she's already stressed out).

So like, instant KO for Thatch. He politely excuses himself and she's left more baffled and overwhelmed. Izou is offended on his behalf so this could only go well from here.

Meanwhile Ace is staring at her like "feral mountain child but girl????" Not sure if he's right cause he's not super great with women to start with. And Marco is pretty sure he knows what's going on but watching Thatch instantly get KO'd is way more entertaining than stepping in right now.

Izou probably ends up with the breakthrough as he finds her in the library corner, surrounded by molting feathers and very annoyed (he is at her, she's just trying to live). She's abandoned her book in favor of trying to groom out the loose feathers.

"Do you intend to make a mess everywhere you go?" Intending to be a bit snarky cause she didn't need to tell Thatch he disgusts her, honestly!

And she just looks at him, face red from embarassment and visibly close to crying.

"Sorry, it's the stress. You all make me very nervous, and I'm not good at talking." She finally just says outright desperately hoping he goes away so she can preen in peace so she doesn't leave a trail of feathers everywhere.

"Oh... Oh, honey." Izou is absolutely teasing Thatch to shit for accidentally adding to her torment instead of charming her like he's used to doing with anyone and everyone. Now that he knows it's not personal, he's way more chill about the whole thing.

Fully believe there's a critical lack of really introverted crew members, most are incredibly extroverted so no one knows how to deal with someone who genuinely doesn't do socializing well for non-feral-bitey reasons.

[lerry-hazel]

The long-ass Thomas Barrow post that needs to stop living in my brain

Part 2: The Sad Ones

Be as it may, if the bad stuff was all we ever got to know about Thomas Barrow, eventually I would have accepted, that, nope, he's just evil, – and moved on.

However, the show also has those parts strategically blended in where we are supposed to feel for Thomas. Probably. Maybe. I guess. Right?

First, chronologically, we have the “blighty”: it was possibly meant as a squarely bad thing, in contrast with William, but I firmly believe no one who hasn't actually been to war gets to judge. Nevertheless, I admit it would have gone down better if we could have seen Thomas actually helping the wounded in the hospital, thus still pulling his weight and dealing with the horrors of war, albeit second-handedly.

*******************************************************************

Then comes the Jimmy thing.

A lot could be said about how, if it was meant to be “just a kiss”, it should have been written as just a kiss. But whatever, I remember vehemently insisting – when my outraged grandmother demanded how I could possibly like Judas in JCS – that it's possible to feel sorry for someone just because they are feeling bad, regardless of what they had done to deserve it. From that point of view, Thomas’ willingness to just take it lying down is sort of endearing – at least until you realize he didn't have to, like, hunt down a kangaroo to make the whole debacle go away: all it took – literally – was saying three words. Were it mentioned that at that point no one would believe Thomas over O'Brien, or were the insistence to have Thomas punished presented as Jimmy being done with O'Brien's fake placating and finally pushing back, it would have made way more sense. Of course, Thomas’ subsequent lack or gratitude to those who stood by him at those troubling times doesn't help either.

********************************************************************

Then there is “the treatment”, which surely seems appalling, as long as we assume it's chemical castration, or something equally horrifying that's making Thomas feel so ill. But, as soon as we find out what's actually happening – 

First, even though Thomas’ on-screen medical career primarily consisted of sitting on his arse looking self-important, it's hard to believe he doesn't know what an abscess is. And an abscess is by no means indicative of what kind of treatment he's been undergoing. In fact, Thomas should have assumed he hadn't sterilized the needle properly, and taken himself to hospital as soon as the pain became too much, blaming a rusty nail. Alternatively, he could have tried lancing the thing himself, realizing he couldn't see what he was doing and needed someone to hold a mirror. Or he could have put it off until he couldn’t stand upright anymore. But the way he actually brings Baxter in – to, what, tell him he needs to see a doctor if he's feeling unwell? – looks exceedingly less like he's learned to ask for help, and more like he is unsubtly manipulating her into showing him kindness: right after being pointlessly evil to her – again. Sort of "hate me all you want, I know you'll come running if I call."

And let’s not forget about egging the police on in the first place: mistakingly believing changing this one aspect of your personality will make your whole life better is one thing; literally going through considerable pain to turn your life around, yet still purposely doing things you know are wrong is another.

********Er, triggering content ahead? *****************

In a way, the same could be said about Thomas' suicide attempt.

I'm not making a list of most efficient ways to end one's life, but locking oneself in a bathroom in broad daylight wouldn't be anywhere near the top. Also, not undressing fully kinda suggests he didn’t want to be found naked; yet, were he thinking of those who would have to deal with the aftermath, he wouldn't have left them a bloody bathtub to scrub in the first place. Combined with the cryptic message to Molesley, of all people, it frankly looks less like an act of utter desperation, and more like a pity party.

Like, on the one hand, Thomas does seem to have enough reasons to hate his life. However, while finding love might be indeed tragically beyond his reach, it's kinda hard to disregard the fact that his looming unemployment doesn't come from lack of offering, but from his unwillingness to do too much work. Or that, instead of trying to reconnect with his colleagues by making amends for his past misdeeds, Thomas’ attempts to curb his loneliness come in the form of forcing his presence upon people who have no reason to welcome it (it so pisses me off when in fanfiction Carson and/or Mrs. Hughes are made to apologize for not letting him third-wheel on what was obviously their couple’s time).

If I could find motivation to rewrite this arc, I would probably rearrange it all together. Like, when Thomas is urged to seek employment elsewhere, he grabs the first offer that comes his way, because “he never wanted to stay in Downton anyway”. Then, finding himself in a house with virtually no other servants to rely on, or even talk to, and “upstairs lot” unwilling to put up with his shenanigans, he is starting to realise what a mistake he’s made, and is eventually driven to despair.

Wouldn’t be easy to bring him back, but in DA universe screenwriting miracles so do happen ;-)  

[captainlunaxmen]

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 10

Eddie Munson x fem!reader.

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: time to deal with the damages Vecna's done.

Chapter warnings: spoiler season 4, slight mention of rape, Andy, lots of cuteness.

Two days... two days since the Upside Down.

Apparently even if Steve, Nancy and Robin managed to kill Vecna, part of his plan succeded.

Four big gates spreading over the whole town, destroyed almost everything, then they stopped and retreated themselves... but they still did lots of damages around Hawkins.That's why a lot of people are now leaving the city.

Max is... okay... she's in a coma. According to the doctor she died for a whole minute, that's why just part of Vecna's plan succeded. Thankfully the doctors also say she's stable and there are a lot of chances she'll wake up soon. Lucas is with her everyday.

And... Eddie... we had lot of troubles bringing him back through the gate, but we did it.

At the hospital they didn't want to take him in, but I managed to talk to the chief and explained to him almost everything so.. he helped. Basically Eddie is fine. Still recovering, but he should be out soon.

Today we, as in Nancy, Robin, Steve, Dustin and I, are collecting some things to take to the Hawkins High school, to help those who got injured and left homeless by the "earthquake".

"Hey Nance! I found so.e more of your old stuff in the attic" Mrs Wheeler comes out of the house with a bix box in her arms.

Nancy quickly collects it and put it in the car.

"Someone order a pizza?" She then asks, earning confused looks from the rest of us.

"Pizza?" Dustin echoes.

We all turn to hear, before see, a horn blaring of a pizza van... stopping in front of the house.

"Oh my god" I let out a chuckle as we see Mike, Will, El, Jonathan and a guy with very long hair... impressive hair getting out of the vehicle.

Mike rushes to his mother, Nancy to Jonathan, Will and El coming towards me and Dustin.

I immediately pull El in for a hug, holding her close not believing she's actually here.

"Hi" I say.

"Hi" she replies tightening her hug.

"What... happened?" I let go to properly look at her, noticing her buzzed hair.

"Long story" she says.

"Hey you" I go to hug Will as Dustin hugs El.

"Hi, Y/n" He says "Where's Lucas?"

"He's at the hospital" Dustin answers.

"Was he hurt?" El asks.

"No. No, he's.."

"He's okay.. Max on the other hand, she's in a sort of coma. The doctors say she should wake up soon though... hopefully" I explain.

"We can take you see her, if you want" Nancy offers and El is quickly to nod her head yes.

Nancy, Jonathan, Mike, El, Will and Argyle, I think his name is, go to the hospital, then to Hopper's cabin, apparently El needs a place to hide, all while Robin, Steve, Dustin and I go to take the boxes to the high school.

"You got it, buddy?" Steve asks Dustin as we walk through the parking lot.

"I'm fine" he assures him. His leg isn't completely healed yet, but Dustin insisted on helping.

We enter the gym, the whole place is filled with people. Lot of them are volunteers, medics, but just as many, if not more, are now-homeless people, people who lost their close ones..

There a big board, covered in poster of missing people.

"Oh god.." I mutter to myself.

One of the girls responsible there smiles at us as we arrive to leave the boxes on the table in front of her.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Uh, so these are blankets and sheets. And some... some clothes and... and some kids' toys" Robin explains.

"Wow" the girl, 'Melissa' says her name tag, is surprised "it's already so organized. We appreciate that. Do you want a tax receipt for it?" She then asks.

"Uh...No. I don't think that we need one. Thank you, though" Robin answers. "But is there anything else that we can do to help?"

I'm sent to give water to the people sitting in the gym, so is Dustin while Robin is making sandwiches and Steve is at the clothes section.

As I walk around offering glasses of water I notice a man at the missing posters board, he's taking one off to hang another.

I look a bit more attentively and notice it's for Eddie.

Oh my god, that must be Eddie's uncle. Hadn't anyone told him Eddie's okay?

I walk to Dustin.

"Can you hold these for a moment?" I ask him.

"Sure"

I give him the last three glasses of water and I make my way to the man and take a very deep breath.

"Hi, uh... sorry?" I try to catch his attention, he eventually turns around. "Are you... uh... are you Eddie's uncle?"

"That's me" he dryly replies. "What do you want?"

"I'm... can, uh.. can we talk, please?"

"I can't imagine we got anything to talk about. My nephew is innocent" he firmly says.

I look down with a small smile and notice the poster he took of just a moment before.

The old poster of Eddie is smeared with horns and "satanic" drawings... oh..

"I.. I know that, Mr Munson. Trust me" I tell him, looking up at him again.

"What?" He seems taken aback by that.

"I know Eddie, I know he's innocent. And I know he's not missing, sir. He's at the hospital. He got badly hurt during the... the earthquake, saving me..."

I see him letting out a big sigh of relief, going to sit down.

"You're not making fun of me?" He checks.

"I know the people around here are mean and likes to point their fingers at the first... different person they find.. and you have no reason to trust me, but I'm not lying, sir." I sit with him "Eddie is at the hospital. I don't know why no one warned you earlier"

"What's your name?" He asks.

"I'm Y/n L/n" I answer.

"Oh... I should've known right away... you're the Y/n my nephew always talks about" He chuckles and I feel my cheeks heating up at the thought of Eddie talking about me with his uncle.

"Can't seem to make him shut up about you, you know. God..." he chuckles again, relief written all over his face "for a moment I really thought he was dead... thank you"

"I actually should be the one thanking him, he was a true hero. He is." I chuckle nervously.

"I better go see him.. thank you, for telling me" he stands up shaking my hand, holding it in his. "Hope to see you again, Y/n."

"I hope so too."

As he walks away I call him again "actually... Uh. I know your trailer was one of those seriously damaged by the earthquake and... Eddie's gonna stay at mine for a while.. if you have no place to go, you're more than welcome" I offer.

"You're very kind, Eddie was right about that. But don't worry, I got a place to stay in. Just promise to take care of him?"

"Of course, sir"

"Thank you again" He answers with a sweet smile and walks away again.

I go to Steve to help him folding some shirts and sweaters, and I notice Robin talking and joking with Vickie at the table in front of us.

"Awe look at our baby.." I say.

"I'm so happy for her. She deserves this" Steve says.

"Definitely. Now we're gonna have to find someone for you. You too deserve that" I sweetly tell him as I start to fold some clothes.

"You're just saying that because you want to get rid of me" he jokes.

"Yeah... I mean.. I don't know how Eddie would take it to have you in the way... constantly. You know, a threesome every now and then, fine, but constantly? You're lots of work, Harrington" I laughs.

"Don't tempt me, honey. I still remember some things about that night" he jokes back.

"Oh shut up" I scold him playfully and he laughs.

"So... should I get from it that you and Eddie are a thing now?" He asks with a teasing tone.

"Maybe.." I shyly grin.

"Mhmm... he hurts you, he's dead." He says, suddenly serious.

"Yeah, sure Stevie. Sure" I give him a sceptical look.

"Hey... I can beat him up" He insists.

"I'm not saying anything, Stevie"

"I didn't like your tone, honey" he says.

"I'm messing with you" I nudge him "thank you.."

"For what? Handing you the shirts?" He jokes.

"Yeah that... and also.. for always looking out for me" I quietly say.

"Thank you for trusting me" he wraps one arm around my shoulders kissing my head.

"Now, please... don't say anything about Eddie to Dustin, not yet."

"Why?" Steve asks confused, getting back at folding some sweaters.

"Because he wanted to be the very first to know about me and Eddie so... don't say anything." I ask him with a chuckle.

"Sure" he laughs.

" I have to find the right way to tell him"

"why? He's been your number one fan all this time, he's gonna be enthusiastic" Steve tells me.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want him to organise a wedding or... hear him say 'I told you'" I explain, mimicking Dustin's voice.

"Right... wait...Do I get to be the best man, right?" He jokes leaning onto me.

"You're gonna be my bridesmaid, Stevie." I tell him with a laugh.

There's a comical pause in which he actually considers it, before he speaks again "deal"

"I need to find a way to tell him without him freaking out too much, you gotta help me, okay?" I let out a nervous chuckle, when he doesn't answer right away I insist "Okay?"

"I don't think he's the one you should be worried about... on this 'boyfriend' matter" he tells me.

"Why?" I look up to him, but his eyes aren't on me, rather behind me.

I turn around curiously looking around the gym.

My eyes land on a very familiar figure... that can't be... Hopper?

"Steve..."

"Yes honey?"

"Tell me you see him too please." I shakily ask "I don't want to run to a complete stranger because I'm having hallucinations"

"Go hug him, honey." Steve gently pushes me forward and I immediately rush to the other side of the gym, making my way through the sea of people on the way.

I see him brightly smile at me as I get closer, he opens his arm as I jump at him wrapping my arms around his neck crying like a baby.

His arms are tightly wrapped around me.

"I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here" he rubs my back, letting me back on the ground gently.

I notice Joyce next to him and I hug her too.

"Hey" she says kissing my head.

I let her go and turns back to Hopper.

"How... what... how?" I ask between sobs.

"Well... someone still owes me some snacks for movie night, right?" He jokes, his eyes wet from tears too.

"Shut up" I tell him, wiping away some tears, even if more falls from my eyes. "Oh my god... El! You already saw El? She's at..."

"I did, we stopped at the cabin and they were all there" He tells me.

"Now she looks just like you. You got the same haircut" I laugh, still wiping away some tears.

"Yeah, it looks better on her though" he laughs too.

Then I feel someone beside me, Steve arrived too.

"Hey" Steve greets Hopper, shaking his hand.

"Hey Cool-Hair, you took care of my daughter?" Hopper asks.

"Always, sir" Steve nods.

"Daughter?" I ask.

"I... I wanted to surprise you last year, before the mind flayer happened, but..I didn't get the chance" Hop says reaching behind him to his pocket.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"I left it at the cabin, thankfully it was still there when I went earlier." He hands me some papers.

"What... what is it?" I ask again, more confused.

"Adoption papers... all you need to do is sign it..." he nervously explain "if you want to, of course. And you're still gonna live in your house, I know how much you care about your independence... but.. yeah we can still be a family."

"I... I... I don't know what... to say" I stutter.

"Well, think about it, whether you sign it or not, you'll have to tell him about you and Eddie" Steve jokes. I glare at him and he turns back around walking back to the clothing section.

"Who's Eddie? And why there's a 'you and Eddie', uh?" Hopper asks.

"Jim..." Joyce warns him, a sweet smile on her face though.

"What? I'm away for a year and she got a boyfriend? I have the right to ask about it!" He defends, making me laugh.

"Yeah ask, not interrogate" Joyce insists.

Hooper just sighs, deeply, eyes softening when he looks back at me.

"What do you say, sweetheart?" He then asks.

I look down at the papers in my hand, more tears spilling out.

"Well, uh... do you.. do you have a pen?" I ask.

Joyce rushes to grab a pen and excitedly hands it to me, so I can sign the papers.

I'm gonna have a dad... oh shit. That's crazy.

I realised, during this last week, that I always got a family. Now.. now It's just official.

After I sign it, I hand the papers back to him, hugging him again, tightly.

"So, now that we're officially a family," he starts as he pulls away, wiping away more tears. "who's Eddie?

"Oh, I think I should get back to help Steve, you know." I start to walk away "he's not that good at folding shirts"

"This isn't over!" He tells me.

"I'm counting on it!" I yell back, with the biggest smile on my face.

I love how Steve completely gave up in complaining and just drives around wherever we want.

It's actually nice of him, I know he secretly likes doing it.

"Thanks again, Stevie" I tell him as he drives me and Dustin to the Hospital.

"Oh no problem, honey. Gotta check if the boyfriend is okay" he casually says.

"I still can't believe you told him before me!" Dustin complains.

"How many times do I have to ask for forgiveness?" I ask, holding back a chuckle.

"I already forgave you. Also, me constantly telling you 'I told you so' is just enough punishment" he replies.

"You're lucky I love you, Dusty" I semi-warn him.

"Well.. he did tell you" Steve chimes in.

"I warn you too, Harrington" I tell him pointing a finger at him.

"What are you gonna do, uh? Spank me?" He laughs.

"Hey! She's taken, dude. Enough of that" Dustin scold Steve.

"Calm down, Dustin. No risk here anymore" Steve reassures him.

"You better." Dustin sends Steve a glare through the rearview mirror, then realises what he says "wait... anymore?"

"Oh god.." I laugh. "Enough with this, alright? Also... we didn't define anything yet. He was too busy bleeding out to talk about... whatever this is"

"What do you mean? It's pretty obvious he wants you to be his girlfriend" Steve says as a matter of fact.

"Still... we haven't talked about it yet." I tell them.

"Ready for another round of 'I told you's, Henderson?" Steve asks.

"Always"

"I don't like you guys teaming up against me" I laugh.

"You do that all the time with him against me!" Steve complains, with a chuckle.

"Yeah.. because that's fun!" I reply as he parks the car.

We get out of the car and make our way in the hospital.

We go to the table and ask one of the nurses for Max's room and Eddie's. After showing us the way he went back to his desk and we got into Max's room first, finding Lucas still there.

"Hey Lucas" I greet him with a hug and then I go to sit beside Max's bed.

She's still unconscious, but she... looks fine. I think.

"Hey yourself" I softly say to her.

"Thanks for coming" Lucas then tells us as he sit beside me.

"How couldn't we?" Dustin replies with a smile.

"Your eye looks better" I notice looking at his face.

"Yeah, it feels better too"

If I ever find Jason in front of me again, I swear he's done. Beating up a fourteen year-old... fuck's sake.

"Jason's lucky I wasn't there.." Steve comments, rightly mad.

"With all respect, Steve, but I think Y/n here would kick his ass better than you" Dustin shrugs and I let out a small chuckle, while Lucas laughs.

"Thank you very much, Henderson" Steve rolls his eyes.

"Aww, Stevie, we know you could've taken him." I sarcastically say.

"You're on thin ice, Honey" he warns me.

I stick my tongue out at him and go back at looking at Max. She's completely still, obviously yeah, but it's still a painful sight.

"Did the doctors say anything else?" I ask Lucas, not once looking away from Max.

"They just say she's actually doing great, that she'll probably wake up soon" he answers.

"That's.. that's good" I slightly smile at him before moving my attention back to Max.

"Hey, guys, why don't you go buy something to eat, uh? Have a walk, Sinclair. We'll stay here" Steve suggests them.

Dustin and Lucas accept and walk out of the room.

"You good?" Steve takes Lucas' place beside me.

"Yeah.. yeah. It's just hard seeing her like this. Even though the doctors are positive she'll wake up soon... it's still hard. All of that to keep her save and..." I take a deep breath.

"I know" he gently grabs one of my hand "I know. When we killed Vecna, we went down to see his body and then... we heard the grandfather clock chiming, in that moment.. in that moment, I swear I felt.. I felt like dying myself. I couldn't believe we failed" he sincerely tells me and I squeeze his hand to reassure him "but thankfully... we didn't.. or not completely at least. But I still can't not think about how we could've prevented it..."

"You couldn't know, Steve, we couldn't know. That was the biggest risk all along. But we did it, uh? Once again we fucking did it." I look at him, giving him a small smile as my eyes start watering "as always"

"We fucking did it" he nods with a smile.

"And she's gonna be fine and everything is going to be okay"

"Oh definitely, if Mayfield doesn't wake up, I'll kill her" he jokes.

"I'll help you." I laugh and Steve does the same.

In that moment Dustin and Lucas come back with some food for us too.

"We stopped by Eddie's room on the way back, he looks good" Dustin says.

"You talked to him?"

"Yeah, he just feels a little tired he says. You should.. see your boyfriend" Dustin teases.

"Ooh so it's official?" Lucas asks with a small grin.

"No. Nothing's official. And you, Dusty, you're lucky we almost lost two of us, otherwise you'd be dead now" I say as stand up walking to the door.

"You're not coming, Steve?" I ask.

"I'll just leave you two some room, I'll come later" he winks and I just roll my eyes before exiting and heading to Eddie's room.

On my way there, in an almost empty hallway, I bump into someone.

"Sorry" I quietly apologise.

"No worries, baby"

You've got to be kidding me.

I look up seeing Andy right on front of me with a disgusting grin on his face.

What the hell is he doing here? Oh.. righ... Jason's been injured too.

I quickly move to the side to walk past him, but he blocks my way, making me roll my eyes.

"What are you doing here, uh? Came here to apologise?" He asks.

"I'm..." I stutter " w-wait... apologies? Why would I apologise?" I ask, rather confused.

"Well, you haven't been very kind last time we saw each other... threatening to use a shotgun against us..." he says it like the most obvious thing in the world.

"You first threatened to rape me, then you threatened my friend... I don't think I should be the one fucking apologising" I tell him, shocked.

"Hey, hey, hey, Where's the sweet girl gone?" He jokes getting closer, making me take a few steps back. "Uh? C'mon, baby. Why don't we get out of here?"

"No.." I move back again, but he follows quickly.

"Oh, why? You got better plans?" He asks.

"Yes" I try to sound firm, but I know my voice breaks a little.

"Like what?"

"Seeing my friends" I answer.

"You're not here to see Munson, are you?"

"Yes... yes I am" I try to walk past him again, but once again he grabs my hips pulling me to him.

I put my hands on his arms to push him away, but he doesn't bulge.

"You look so cute when you struggle. I'm sure I could show you a better time than him." he leans down towards me.

"I said no" I hit him in the crotch with my knee, making him hiss in pain and let me go. "Don't fucking touch me"

I walk away to Eddie's room and once I find it I enter, as fast as I can.

"What a beautiful sight... hey what's wrong?"

Oh... it's so nice to hear his voice again..

I turn around walking to him, sitting on the bed with him. Eddie just looks at me worried and confused.

"Just a dickhead who can't seem to accept 'no' as an answer" I shrug.

"Oh my" he starts, but I cut him off.

"I hit him in the balls. Hopefully he understands this" I tell Eddie and he just bursts out laughing.

"Oh god... I wish I saw that" he says "my brave girl"

"Shut up.." I look down.

"Still so shy, aren't we?" He teases.

"Me? Never" I sarcastically say and he gently grabs my hand in his playing with my fingers. "You okay?" I ask him.

"Now that you're here... so much better" he grins at me.

"You're terrible..." I playfully roll my eyes "but seriously... are you okay?"

"Yeah, yes m'lady. I'm okay. They patched me up good" he softly chuckles.

"That's good" I smile at him and I see his eyes moving between my own and my lips. "You'll kiss me properly" I tell him.

"Oh c'mon!" He complains, but laugh too and I just shake my head "You're being cruel now, you know that?"

"It was the deal" I shrug.

"The deal included, also, anything else" he hints, teasingly.

"It still does" I wink at him.

"Oh christ... be mine" he suddenly says.

"What?" I ask, taken aback by his words.

"Would you be my girlfriend? Like... officially?" He sweetly smiles at me and, I swear, I could just melt for how softly his eyes are looking at me right now. "And before you could answer. Yes, Dustin talked to me, but no it wasn't because of him I'm asking you. Yes, I'm asking you because I like you, a lot" he smiles at me "Aaaand... Yes, I know Hopper's your father now, like officially your father now and I am ready to meet him, whenever he wants"

That makes me laugh, genuinely.

"I would've said yes, even if you weren't ready, my lord"

"I know... but I still wanted you to know." He move my hand to his lips kissing it gently, making me look away.

"You're gonna be the death of me, Munson" I tell him.

"The feeling is mutual, m'lady" he winks and then smiles. "Are you still sure you want me to stay at your place?" He then asks.

"Positive" I nod "why wouldn't I?"

"Well maybe Hopper has something to say about that" he tells me with a shrug.

"He's fine... I guess, he doesn't have much of a choice. I told him I made a promise to your uncle and he couldn't argue that." I reply with a reassuring smile.

"Oh about that... Wayne wants to.. have dinner all together one of these days.. you know" he's slightly nervous again, playing with my fingers and rings "he insists on buying us dinner to.. get to know you better"

"Why so nervous, love?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"It would be the first time I introduce someone to him" he answers with a timid smile looking me in the eyes "it's a big deal"

"Well then, I accept his invitation. But... next time I'll cook" I tell him.

"Oh well you'll have to talk with him about that. I want nothing to do with this" he raises his hand up.

I laugh and move my gaze to his hands as he lowers them back to his lap.

Shit...What if his uncle finds me boring, or he hates me? I'm gonna make a fool of myself, I know.

I never thought I'd be the kind of girl someone would want to introduce to their relatives... it's gonna be a disaster.

"Where's that mind going, m'lady?" Eddie's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Uh?"

"What troubles my lady's mind?" He grabs my hands caressing them.

"Nothing... it's stupid" I shake my head.

"Mmh..." he considers me for a moment "Nah, that can't be. Tell me" he moves his head sideways, a pout on his lips "please?"

"Just... overthinking.." I answer.

"About what?" He sits up straight again.

"Oh nothing... just what if he ends up hating me?" I softly say.

"Yeah.. as if that's even possible" Eddie chuckles, but his eyes are gentle. "He already loves you. I talked so much about you, it's like he already knows you"

I laugh, still embarrassed he actually talked about me to his uncle... it's sweet.

"And trust me... I said all good thing"

"You did?" I ask, shyly meeting his eyes.

"Oh yeah. I started to tell him about you after I brought you home, after out project meeting." He starts, fingers interlocking with mine as he speaks "he asked me why I was so late and I told him I had to take home the most beautiful girl in the world"

"Oh shut it.." I say, feeling my cheeks warming up.

"Then everyday I would tell him what those little shits told me about you... I'd tell him about how sweet you looked that day, how kind you always are with everyone.. and also I'd ask him what could I have done to approach you again, without scaring you"

"You could have never scared me, Eddie." I gently tell him chucking.

"That's one of the many things that attracted me to you. 'How come such a sweet girl isn't afraid of me?' I asked myself, you know... seeing what everyone says about me." He continues "Dustin then told me how little you care about what everyone says, that's when I started to get obsessed" he laughs "always looking your way, hoping you would notice me"

"I always noticed you" I tell him "whenever the professors forced you to sit in the front row I take a look at you. At your vest, trying to see if there are any new patch on it. In the cafeteria, I always hoped you put on one of your 'shows' so I had a good excuse to look at you and not just stare" I let out a small laugh "and obviously, Dustin started to talk more and more about you and about the campaigns you make, your jokes and about how you were the only person in high school to treat them... well.. not like shit." I squeeze his hands "I always noticed you... I just never thought you would notice me"

"Well, we always noticed each other..."

"But none of us had enough courage to speak to the other" I finish for him, with a chuckle.

"Exactly." He nods "Oh well.. now we'll just have to make it up for the lost time, uh?" He winks.

"Of course" I smile.

A knock interrupts us.

"Yes?"

"It's Steve. Can I come in?" Steve asks.

"Does he have to?" Eddie jokes.

"Sure!" I tell Steve.

"Hey, man" he enters and walk to us. "How do you feel?"

"Oh all good." Eddie replies "especially with her right here"

"I told you to stop it" I shyly laugh.

"And I told you... never" he replies smugly.

"Is it official? Like.. you guys..." Steve starts.

"Yes, Steve. Okay?" I say with an exasperated laugh.

"So... I can finally to 'The Speech', yeah?" He asks me, hopeful.

"Oh god.." I hide behind my hand.

"C'mon, Harrington, scare me." Eddie listens carefully.

"Listen, man. We all care about you, that's true. But... if you dare hurt Y/n, I promise you, I personally will hunt you down and you wouldn't want me to find you. You'd regret those bats." Steve tries to sound threatening.

"Don't worry Harrington, if I ever hurt her, I'd gladly let you kick my ass. I'd deserve that" Eddie replies, calmly.

"I don't need you to 'let me' kick your ass, man... I could take you" Steve insists.

"With all due respect... I'm much more scared of the younger Sinclair" Eddie says honestly.

"Told you, Stevie."

"Also... she could easily kick my ass better than you" Eddie adds pointing at me.

"Alright, fuck you guys" Steve just shrugs, defeated.

"Oh c'mon." I laugh "come here" I grab a chair and put it next to the bed so Steve can sit with us.

"You sure you're good?" He checks again.

"Yeah, Harrington. I'm good, surprisingly good." Eddie answers ad he keeps playing with my fingers. "Plus I got a cute girl helping me, right?" He looks at me.

"Anytime" I smile at him.

"That's good, man. You faced the worst of the worst and look at you, still with us. Only a few scratches" Steve tries to cheer him up.

"Yeah, got some big scars.." Eddie replies, quietly. Feigning confidence, but I think there's more than that. Before I could say something he continues "like yours, big boy, uh?"

"Scar-brothers, you should start a band now" I joke, squeezing Eddie's hand, silently reassuring him.

"Cool name. We're gonna drop 'corroded coffin' and make new t-shirts" he chuckles.

"I'll make the logo" I offer.

"Oh then you're gonna be famous for sure" Steve teases.

"Obviously" Eddie agrees.

"I think we should go though. I have a shift at family video today" Steve tells me.

"Oh.. yeah don't worry" I say "give us a minute, okay?"

"Sure" he smiles. "Get well soon, alright? I don't think I could stand Henderson alone for much longer" he jokes.

"Don't worry, I heal quickly" Eddie assures him.

"Good" Steve walks to the door "can I still call her 'honey' or is it forbidden?" He asks then.

"You ask her, not me" Eddie replies.

Good answer, I think.

I just laugh "as always Stevie. Me having a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't be my friend anymore"

"Just checking. Okay, see you at the car, honey" he finally leaves.

I shake my head chuckling.

"He cares a lot about you" he notes.

"Yeah, well... we've been friends for centuries basically" I smile at him again.

"Hey.. uh... thanks for visiting today" he leans his head to the wall behind him.

"No need to thank me, my lord. I'm just glad you're okay" I tell him "you scared the shit out of me" I then admit.

"I'm sorry" he smiles a little. "But I'd do that again if it means you're gonna be fine"

"So would I" I tell him.

"Oh no, no, I'm more expendable, you let me risk my life" he defends.

"Yeah.. sure, as if I'd let you" I laugh confidently.

"I don't need your permission" he chuckles surprised.

"Neither do I" I smirk.

He just laughs, happily, and I do too.

"Should I tell you what you do to me when you get so cocky, or it's too soon?" He wonders with a teasing grin.

"Let it be a surprise" I say getting up. "I better go. I don't want to be the reason Steve's gonna get fired... or I'll never hear the end of it"

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asks. "I mean... I get out tomorrow"

"Oh no, you'll never see me again, my lord I say dramatically with a small laugh.

"Then kiss me and say goodbye properly, m'lady" he follows my joke.

"Fair point.. you got me" I laugh, then sweetly smile at him. I lean down to give him a peck on the cheek.

"Can't wait, m'lady" he bows his head a little.

I walk to the door and, before walking out, I blow him a kiss which he gladly catches and theatrically place it on his lips.

"See you tomorrow, love" I tell him and I walk out of the door as I hear him again.

"I fucking love it when you call me that!"

I laugh rolling my eyes and head out to Steve's car.

[panzershrike-pretz]

Lanterns

Part 6

Disclaimer: GUYS! I am so so sorry for taking so long to write this 🥲 i'm terrible at writing endings and I feel like this isn't exactly what I wanted to write, but I couldn't find a way to do it better. It's still alright, I suppose, so there's that- eh. The longest I look at it, better it seems xD

I had this written for a couple days now but decided to wait for the 28th :] enjoy

Summary: A Goddess who lost her faith, trying to get back to her senses so her family doesn't fall apart.

Warnings: -----

Taglist: @malarkgirlypop , @bucky32557038ww2 , @xxluckystrike (if you want in or out, just tell me!)

-> Image below found here.

When Blithe left the little village a week after making port, some locals waved goodbye from the bay. The ocean, open and wide, seemed to welcome back the ship as she rode the currents and crashed against the waves. The sky was clear and the horizon was all theirs - not a single gale nor ship in Blithe's wake. She was finally headed to Tortuga. Land of the free.

Sirius was the one at the wheel, steering her in the direction needed; up north. The crew found themselves busy, dealing with the ropes, chains and all else needed to make her go.

Blithe would need yet a few days before getting to her destination and, unfortunately for all, they would spend the Holiday and new year at sea - not that it was anything new, anyway, but most of them would be surely glad to run up to an Inn and drown themselves in good rum.

"GOOD MORNIN', MISS IBIS!" The high pitched voice of Olive dragged Hydra out of her sleep; she opened her eyes, startled but yet do adjust her vision, only to find the little girl staring down at her - upside down, sitting on the ceiling with the biggest smile her face could hold.

Hydra didn't really had the time to properly wake up when the girl lunged at her, practically attacking the woman and making both of them fall from the hammock and colide against the wooden floor. Hydra let out a screech of pain as she tried to do something - get the girl off of her? Get up? Breathe? She didn't quite know.

"OLIVE! I NEED AIR!" Was all she could scream back as the child laughed, sitting atop the older woman with an enormous grin - and then promptly started to float up again, untill she found herself with the back against the ceiling once more. "That is not the way you wake someone up, for Gods' sake!"

"Oh, Miss Ibis, papa told me to get ye up and runnin'. No beauty sleep." And Olive giggled to herself, unable to keep a straight face as she blatantly lied.

"Oh, Rodion told ya to wake me? It sure isn't one of your tricks?" Hydra got up, ruffling the wing feathers and stretching all the way she could. "Then by all means, what do your dad want with me?"

The child, playing with gravity, stood against the ceiling as if it was the floor, walking alongside the other while they made their way out of the sleeping quarters. "Uh... well... he... he wants you to... huh... well, it was actually Pangey who wanted your help with the... ah... the... whatever you medics do, I think."

Hydra rolled her eyes, incapable of containing a small smile as she helped the girl come down to the ground. Olive had some special shoes so she wouldn't simply float off - big, heavy boot-like things that would keep her grounded -, which she put on as they both got outside through the ship's hatch.

"SURPRISE!" The collective yell got Hydra and she almost fell down the stairs. If Olive wasn't enough to wake her, this sure was. All the crew on deck, with big smiles; some waving, others simply looking at her.

"Happy day, Miss Ibis" Olive let out, surprise-hugging the Goddess.

"We thought you'd like a big welcoming comittee for your finally coming around day" Michael spoke as he walked up to her, kind of insecure if that would make her turn back and hide as always. "We know you don't like those things, but- "

He let the words fall when Hydra embraced him with both arms and wings. He did not plan for that to happen, so his mind was slow to actually catch up for him to finally retrieve the hug.

"I love it, actually" she told him, battling some happy tears.

"I'm happy you do, dear." He let her go, a smile on his lips. "Can you guess just who's idea it was?"

She cleared her eyes with the back of her hand before scanning the crowd to find Sirius, on the ship's wheel, looking like he was having a blast. "Oh, that bastard of a mutt..."

"Hey, don't call my Siri that!" Jeremy laughed, placing his hand on her shoulder. "We're happy to have you back to normal, bird."

Hydra found herself smiling like never before. She smiled at Michael for his kindness, at Jeremy for his words, at Olive for the hug and at everyone else for whatever reasons. Or simply because they were there. And she laughed. It was good, for once, to actually feel the warmt of being loved by so many on her own special day.

"Here. I got it for you." Michael gave the woman a small package that he made with some pieces of rope and cloth. Hydra began unwrapping it, only to find a chocolate bar.

"How kind of you, Micah. I really had no clue you were able of such self control!" She tilted her head, teasingly staring at him.

"Well, I'll kindly take care of it if you don't want chocolate. But, as all the doctors I've met always say: 'chocolate it's good for the health'."

"I'm pretty sure no doctor ever said that."

"Well, what do you know? You are not a doctor. Pangey is. And she always sneaks me some chocolate." He winked at the woman, then grabbed her by the hand so they could go up to where Sirius stood.

He straightened his back as both came closer, eyeing Hydra's new prize and raising one eyebrow. "Micah, ye never get ME chocolate."

"Suck it up, pretty face, he likes me better." She taunted, before launching herself to hug him.

Both heard Michael giggling beside them. He said something along the lines of "I'll be back in a bit" and let the siblings have their moment there.

They stayed like that for a good minute, before a teary eyed Hydra stepped back. "Thank you so much, Sirius. For everything, really."

"What else could I do for me sis'er? I think this the firs' time ever I see ya smilling so much on yer day. Not even when we were kids ye did tha'." He tilted his head, maybe to have a better look at her face. The sun made her more radiant than ever; her eyes sparkled of pure happiness. "The smile goes well with ya."

And then she was crying again.

Hydra was never the type to just be open about her feelings - her mom was firm that it wasn't something a proper lady should do. The Goddess took years and years of classes on etiquette and good manners - how should she present herself in high society, how to act or speak, how to obey her husband and so on. Showing the "weak" feelings was something she was trained not to do - and even now, too many years after everything, she still had to learn how to abandon those ideals.

She was no longer part of an enormously rich family: her mom was dead, thank Gods, and she left that prick she was made to marry; now she lived amongst a crew of commoners, people without any sense of good maners and yet, it felt somewhat wrong to let herself be free of the societal norms she grew up in.

Even if that meant to cry in front of her brother.

She had already done that in the crow's nest, that night, and now found herself sobbing once again - but for a much different, happier reason.

"Good. Ye can let it out, Ibis. Am here with ya." Sirius assured her, as she tried to recompose. At the end, Hydra was laughing to herself, shaking her head.

"You are such a stupid man, don't you know?"

"I'm fully aware of tha', Ibis."

"I love you. Seriously, I do."

Sirius narrowed his eye, playful, a stupid grin on his face. "Don't you mean... Siriusly...?"

Hydra stared in silence for a couple of seconds - she didn't exactly know wether she should punch that grin off his face or throw him in the sea as sharkbait. Maybe both.

Just like they did on birthdays, Hydra was free of any obligations on her own special Holiday - which meant she could just sit around and relax during the whole day. She closed her eyes as she sat against some boxes, letting the sun on her face and hearing the sound of the waves crashing against the ship. She never felt more peaceful.

"Hey, Hydra." Darty sat beside her on the floor, crossing their legs to be more confortable. "It's good to see you out today."

She didn't bother to open her eyes, but tilted her head just enough to show she was paying attention. She and Darty were never the type to talk much - both had their own opinions that usually ended up colliding, so they refrained to have conversations. She was indeed surprised to have them approaching first, but didn't let it show.

"So... word got 'round that you'll stay with us for the night." Darty still looked at her. "You know... you always sit from afar but like... today is your day and all so... maybe you'd like for me to play some songs for you...?"

Their voice was low, a bit confused about the question. Darty usually was too self-centered to even care about the others - and that was finally enough to make Hydra open her eyes to stare at them.

"Did I hear that right?" She let out, kind of regretting it instantly. "Sorry, sorry... I was just... surprised, I guess. Did anyone bribe you, Dart?"

The God beside her let out a little laugh, shaking their head. "Well, Gods' forbid a person trying to be good, aye? And what if someone bribed me? What'd you do?"

"Tell me who it was and I'll tell you which songs you'll play me. Deal?"

"Yeah, fine. 'Twas Enoch and Nate."

Hydra straightened her posture. Now that was news to her. "Enoch? Well, I'm not surprised about Natasha. But Enoch? How the fuck? And why the fuck, actually?"

Darty decided not to add the part in which they were swiftly kidnapped from their guard post during the night by Pax, the Hollow. They debated a bit with their own mind before deciding that it was really for the best not to tell the woman that the "bribe" was more of a threat of being swung on the ocean by that beast of a pet Enoch had.

"I don't know either."

"How much did they pay you?"

They went silent for a bit.

"... Enough."

----------------------------------------------

As night fell upon Blithe, the works and duties were left behind; it was a celebration, for Gods' sake, who would prefer to swab the deck instead of drink and dance 'till their feet got sore?

Blithe was somewhat decorated with small lanterns hanging from the sails and ropes - they weren't normal, actually. The lanterns were made with flowers and vines created by Fiona, while the lights inside them, resembling stars, were put there by Natasha.

Emma had lighted candles and Brownyn made sure to organize enough stuff to resemble somewhat of a tables with food, made by a very proud Michael - they were lucky the sea was calm; probably Constance's way of gifting Hydra. The sky was completely clear and as the sun set down on the horizon, the stars winked down at them, shining brighter than normal.

Darty sat in their usual place, laughing along something said by their friends while getting ready to play some music.

Hydra felt confortable. It was the first time in years she felt like that on December 28th. It was definetely different. Better than whatever else she could hope for, to be honest. There was chatter, laughter and smiles all over the place and she really made an effort to include herself this time - as tiring as it felt to be the center of attention, it was pretty good.

She swayed along the deck, dancing around. She went by - first she gave Rodion a chance. Then little Claire called to her and, before she even knew, she was laughing and pacing around along other crewmates - a very drunk Dean, then Olive, Natasha, Emma, Horace. At the end of it all, Hydra felt her feet ache and her chest burn. She had not danced like that in years and, anyway, balls and ballads were never as exciting.

"Care to join me?" Jeremy asked, as Hydra was ready to sit down and have a break. She was tired and her breath out of pace, but still, it was her brother-in-law and Captain asking.

"Can we go slow this time?" She asked, as she took his hand. He nodded in agreement, shooting a glance at Darty.

The singer looked up, tilting their head a bit while Jeremy mouthed about wanting a calmer song. They shook their head, kind of adjusting the guitar before changing the tone of the songs.

"If I had been born two hundred years ago, I would've been a sailor and sailing I would go"

Hydra smiled up at Jeremy while the two took to dancing, slower than before, steady. It was good for a change of the maniacal moves from before; no kicking feet, tail shaking or twirling around.

"Feelin' better?" Jeremy asked, being as good of a guide he could be - dance was never his thing.

"A lot" she answered, a small giggle leaving her mouth. "I feel like I missed out on too much."

"Nah. The other years have not been so fun." Jeremy gave her a wink and a smile. "Ye know, we can always have some parties like this the rest of the year-"

"No. I like it just fine on the 28th."

"Sirius is really happy."

"Oh, I'm sure he is." Hydra caught a glimpse of her brother, laughing along Michael, Millard and Juni. It looked like it was one of the best days of his life - and she felt like so too.

"When I think about the place and time where I was born,

I wonder if the hands of fate had slipped to place me wrong."

Hydra let her head fall upon Jeremy's shoulder. She felt fine. And, for once, she really was fine. They stopped dancing, now just kind of swaying from side to side, and she just felt him give her a reassuring hug.

She could hear all the people she loved around her. Dancing, drinking, playing, singing and laughing. Or barking, if Peggy was something to go by.

I am here! The dog huffed, looking up at her people; she wagged her tail, tongue hanging off her mouth and saliva dripping on the floor.

"The ocean is still out there, magnificent and wide

She's got open arms to hold me and endless space to hide

And the only things that hold me back are the things I hold inside..."

As Darty's voice drifted off, Hydra came back to her senses and the dance finally stopped. The chatter died down, as the crew got themselves ready to close off the celebration with the most important part - the lantern lighting.

Jeremy got Hydra's hand, kissing the back of it as she rolled her eyes - well, at least he was being a gentleman.

She made her way towards Sirius, who leaned against Michael, fidling with his hair. Micah, recovering from the full moon of a few nights ago, didn't even bother to dance; he loved it, but his body had no energy and was still every bit hurt. He had made an effort to stay awake, to enjoy the night with the others, but now it was finally getting to him. His very bones were aching.

"How's mister wolf holding up?" Hydra asked; he was much more energetic in the morning, before the aftermath of his adrenaline died down.

"Mister wolf is not holding up" declared Micah, both eyes closed, almost sleeping right then and there. "Oh, I wanted to dance with ye a wee bit. I still can- just lemme get up-"

"We can dance tomorrow. I promise."

"Aye, I'm tryin' to tell 'im, but this man is too much of a hardhead." Sirius side-hugged him a bit thighter, placing a couple of kisses upon his lover's face. "He might as well be a weremule, not a werewolf."

"I'd bite him if I was ye, Micha" Jeremy told him, helpful as always, touching noses with both men. "Ye'll be goin' straight to bed after we finish here."

"Y'all act like I'm a child" Michael joked, laughing a bit, even though it hurt. He loved being pampered by his boys and, he wouldn't even lie - being so kindly treated was all he needed after so many years of being an outcast because of his illness. He could only smile; his husbands would do anything to make him confortable. That was more than enough.

He took a deep breath, using both of them to get on his feet, ready to light the candle of that lantern and let it fly free.

Hydra stood by them, fidgeting nervously with her hands. She knew the others were practically waiting for her to do it first, exchanging some nice words between themselves as they waited.

Sirius grabbed her hand before she ended up clawing it off. "Ye can take yer time, Ibis."

"I believe I already took too long."

Hydra trembled as she picked her lantern up, Maria's gift. She wondered if the woman had the holiday she wanted, with her family. I got the one I needed, she thought.

Hydra and Sirius held the lantern together, as she lighted a small spark of fire in her finger tip and, counting down from ten to calm herself, lighting the candle.

The flame immediately caught up and the heat started to work, just as a fire balloon. She stared at it for a moment.

"What do you wish for, Ibis?" Sirius casually asked, seeing as she was hesitating.

"I... don't know." She admited, a bit confused. "What do you wish for?"

"Love, mostly. Health, especially for Micah. Treasure." Sirius smiled, cooking up a joke. She was ready to throw him overboard. "And I also wish we're not hanged next year, aye? Me neck won't look as pretty in a noose, I'll tell ye that much."

"Hah, that s something I can agree with." She laughed, then shook her head. "I wish for a better life from here on. A tame sea, for being safe and stay together."

"That is a good one, Ibis."

She felt ready to let the lantern, go floating away, along with many others.

Whisper and wishes throw to the night.

----------------------------------------------

It felt just right.

"Hey, Pangey, lil' sad ur boyfriend didn't make it?" Enoch teased, a smile on his lips as he saw her face go through every possible emotion before recomposing herself and glaring back at him.

"At least I have one, ye scabby sea bass" she snapped back, absolutely done. The glass she had in hands could just as well simply break with the strenght she was holding it. Enoch was amused. He loved every bit of the bickering.

"Wha'? Are ye bitter yer lil' toy ain't here? Pro'lly smooching a german gal over there, ain't he?"

Her eyes flickered for a moment to Emma, standing right behind the boy with the widest, most full of content smile she could have, while pressing her hands against each other. They were steaming hot, the warmth making the air tremble.

Pangea thought for a moment about using her glass of beer to stab him to death. Would that really be bad? She could deal with the curse of killing his kind later. Right know, she just wanted to shut his mouth and never hear that voice again.

A spark was born between her fingers and she let it grow more just a bit, enough to mold into a little ball of fire. She waited for Pangey's reaction, and the doctor only gave her a slight smile that confused the fuck out of Enoch. Why was she smiling? Wasn't she angry?

The ship's chatter died down as soon as he let out the loudest scream he could, turning on his heels to try and stomp the flames out. The long cape Enoch wore, red with some flowery embroidery found itself getting caught up on his feet and Enoch started loosing balance, trying the hardest he could to get back on his feet, to no avail.

Then he felt something hot, giving off the smell of burnt fur. That made him notice that Pang wasn't smiling because she wasn't angry.

It was because his tail was on fire.

He felt something trip him, having only a second to see the nothingness of Millard - only clothes and a drink seemingly floating. Fuck.

Enoch braced himself for impact as he fell over board and hit the icy water, a shock running through all of his body before he could come back up for air, grasping at nothing, trying to grab a hand to help him back up.

For a second, there was plain silence - and then, the ship exploded in laughter as the crew ran up to see his freezing face floating. At least the fire was out.

"OH, GODS, HE TRIPPED ON MY FOOT!" Millard said, bending over in pain because of all the laughing. Being invisible was good every once in a while.

"FUCKIN' DESERVED IT!" Pangey added, teary eyed as she found herself leaning against Emma, who looked extremely proud.

Athena, who was just laughing along, pushed up and opened wide her wings to glide down to where Enoch awaited rescue. She grabbed him, before flapping the wings with such force they made waves with the wind.

When the boy was back on ship, with some towels over his body and a very distressed look on his face, the crew resumed their laughs; maybe if they acted like nothing happened, it would erase the fact that everyone was out of breath.

Enoch was pissed.

"How much do I owe you?" Asked Seamus, as he and Dean walked over to Pangey and Emma, holding hands, looking proud of Sam's idea.

He glared down Emma as if to say 'I'll kill you', but she couldn't care less. He had to learn something from that, right?

"UGHHH, GET OFF ME!" He screamed, as Pax's tongues wandered off to lick the salt of his fur.

The beast looked surprised, wagging it's tail before engulfing the boy with his tongues once more, practically lifting Enoch off the ground. Put me down, you stupid thing! Get off of me!

Pax huffed, then sneezed a disgusting black-ish slob upon his owner before letting him fall on the floor.

Boy down. Pax obeys. He answered, trying to force his rotten brain to utter the words before going back to licking him.

Emma extended her hand. "15 bucks."

"Hey, we had agreed on 10!"

"Well, it's compensation for the plan going so much better than expected." The redhaired smiled again, a twinkle on her orange eyes as Sam pulled out the money, with a defeated sigh. "Oh, well, thank you, sir. 'Twas a pleasure workin' under your command."

The trio waited until she was out of ear shot before talking again. Seamus leaned against the railing of the ship, side eyeing Pangey. "I believe you owe me a thanks, a'ight?"

"I should've known it was your idea" she giggled. "It was you who asked Millard to stay there too?"

"Nah, that was an accident. To be fair, Enoch should learn to see invisible people, dont'ya think?" Seamus gave her a nudge in the arm, before laughing. "That'll teach 'im."

"That was fucking awesome" Pang shook her head, containing the laughter that wanted to get out.

"Ay, I promised ya, didn't I?"

[truly-morgan]

[Reigen has a terminal illness and hides it]

Reigen Arataka | Mob Psycho 100 06-04-2023

Having some Reigen angst morning thoughts:

Him being diagnosed with an illness that will be the death of him and he has at best only a handful of years left.

Yet he doesn't tell anyone, doesn't want to worry and burden anyone.

Like, maybe he had been struggling a bit nore already in the past months, but always brushed it off because it came and went. Although he's half forced to go by his employees when they botice he doesn't seem too good.

Then he get the result about his terminal illness.

And of course, he doesnt tell anyone.

Not his family, not that he'd know how to tell them to be quite honest. It seems like a lot of trouble to deal with.

He doesn't tell Serizawa, he doesn't need to worry about his boss when he's already focused on his night class.

Plus he doesnt quite trust the man wouldn't accidentally spill the bean.

He doesn't tell Tome, she's already occupied enough with her first semester and year of college, she doesnt need to worry about him.

He doesn't tell Ekubo, because he feels like the spirit would likely tell Mob.

And of course, he doesnt tell Mob. His little student is in his last yeard of high school, he should focuse on having fun, his finals and college application.

Something in Reigen hopes Mob will go to a college away from Seasojing City (contrary to Tome) so he can more easily hide it from him. He knows Mob would worry about him and would likely try helping him more, and he refuse to take away parts of Mob precious teenage Years because he's sick.

So instead he hides it from everyone. He doesn't need the people he cherish to worry over him, to feel sad or awkward around him because of it.

He wants to only leave good memories behind.

And at first it easy enough to hide.

If he's getting tired more easily, he just brushes it off as him getting old (even though he barely entered his 30's). And sometimes simply says he just stayed up too late the previous night.

But then sickness days comes more regularly and that is a bit hard to hide properly, making him look awfull. And there's only so many excuse he can give for that.

He still tries to reassure everyone, but even Reigen doesn't find his bullshiting convincing.

And he goes months not telling anyone, the uncertainty and awkwardness still settling in the office despite his attempt being the opposite of that.

and with time he also grows weaker, and thinner from his lack of appetite and his medication not helping that.

And everyone tries acting as if they were seeing nothing.

Until Mob simply snaps.

He snaps because Reigen lost consciousness as they were fighting against a spirit and nearly got himself gravely injured.

Snap because he now has months of frustration and worries piling up and he NEEDS to know what the fuck is happening with shisho.

and maybe he grows really quiet when Reigen finally admits it.

and then Mob looks mad. mad and sad "Did shisho ever plan to tell me? Did you think I would rather one day stop having you reply to me while I am away only to learn from someone else you died?

"Did you think I would be happier not knowing you are in pain, that I would be happier to not make proper goodbye if I can?"

emotional talk and angst, everyone around Reigen end up finding out too and they all do try to help him out as best they can, but also try to not overwhelm him with all this attention.

Maybe Mob decides to take a little break before going to college, so he can stay with Reigen and help him. Maybe Reigen feels guilty about it, because he didn't want this to happen.

But really, there's nothing that would change Mob's mind once he decided on something.

Also maybe havinghis precious Mob by his side in his last moment wouldn't be so bad...

(I just realised this was angst with a bit of comfort at the end lol, always need a little bit of comfort at least)

Original

[flarefighters-fr]

Snowbird's new look! And a glimpse into his new lore: tw for egg eating, manipulation, and cults under the read more

Snowbird was hungry. Injured and starved after being cast out of his previous clan for trying to advance his alchemy skills, he wandered alone through blistering winds and swam a bit through the Deity Abandoned Water Flight's seas, barely making it back to land on the border of the Ashfall Wastes.

After being taken in by a new clan, everything seemed okay while he was being taken care of. Everyone was friendly, and they managed to bring him gifts that really showed they had listened to him. Meaningful gifts - even books that were deemed malicious by his birth clan, books published by Baldwin even!

Snowbird took to this new clan like a fish to water. Using his skills for medical purposes. He hardly ever took the time to really bother with what they gave him to eat - he didn't see any big farms. But he was also working day in and day out, so who was he to bother with something so trivial?

...is what he thought before he'd gone out to test some more Volatile combinations. He didn't expect to witness the "hunters" robbing a dragon's nest of its eggs. He wanted to will the conversation he was overhearing out of his mind - how could they just talk about wanting spicier food while robbing a nest?

Snowbird wanted to report it all, and he followed the hunting party all the way back to the clan. Only to realize exactly what most of the food was made of when they went directly into the kitchens.

Horrified, Snowbird pretended to eat while trying to throw his rations away. But it just didn't work. He felt a lot more energized recently, but he had thought it was from not needing to hide his work anymore, being able to talk freely without fear. But it was so much worse. The magical boost from the eggs they'd been eating was so powerful, so mind numbingly needed now, that Snowbird knew he couldn't get away even if he tried.

He ended up eating the food again, at first trying to make a recipe to gain the magical boost from that instead, but nothing he made worked the same. It was good medicine for other dragons, and a good trade item. Nauseatingly, he was finally deemed trusted enough to oversee a deal with a desperate mother, handing over her newest eggs to get his products for her sick hatchlings - deemed as their clan raising them instead so none would suffer.

It made sense to Snowbird in a way. Taking eggs from dragons who wouldn't be able to raise them properly. There were more dragons being sent away these days than dragons staying in their clans, or being let to stay with a new clan for long. It was a bitter fact of life that most eggs went unhatched for ages anymore - even the nocturne eggs could be left unhatched for years without someone to care for them

Other creatures could dine on them whenever they pleased - it was always a threat when Eggulls came close to dragon nesting grounds when they were unable to find other eggs to eat.

Really, aside from the immediate moral shock, what was really the harm in what they were doing? His clan was strong, producing medicine and helping out other clans in their times of need, helping stragglers or loners become healthy or find their ways again. They were helping others! And they weren't attacking anyone for eggs. Most of those eggs wouldn't have hatched anyway!

[broken-clover]

13- Display

Ope, forgot I didn't post this one in the morning, my bad.

I did the thing again where I wrote most of it but scrapped everything last-minute to redo it entirely. still, I think I prefer this iteration. I was focusing too much on trying to make an excuse plot that it didn't feel super fun. I'd rather have something short but that I enjoyed making rather than something long that drags.

In my continued efforts tossing in as many fandoms as possible for funsies, today I decided to get weirder and make a little something for Katamari. I like the thought of the cousins being like little space Borrowers, curious about human trinkets.

-

Earth things were supposed to stay on earth. Every once in a while, some stray piece of junk off of a katamari got stranded in the Princedom, or a cousin accidentally brought something back with them unintentionally. Honest! It was totally just a mistake, Your Majesty, just slipped the mind, forgot about it altogether! No harm done, right?

The King of all Cosmos was powerful, but not omniscient. If he was, he would have found out about their little ring of trade a lot sooner. The curiously childlike cousins gathered all manner of miscellanea piece by piece. Human snacks, knickknacks, clothing that would never fit any of them, whatever little trinkets and curiosities caught their eyes at the moment. Cousins traded things with one another, or brought them back as special gifts for them. It was an open secret among the princedom, fully known, but unspoken

They tried to be as subtle with deliveries as they were with trade. Boxes left in unassuming locations, earth trinkets bundled in with mundane supplies. If you knew who to ask, it didn’t take long to arrive. Likewise, if you knew what other cousins desired, it was easy to coax out a good deal, or a favor for swapping chores.

Nik would do just about anything for earth’s quirky little snacks, to nobody’s surprise. He’d spin yarns about how delicious the treats were, and how much he missed them when he had to return home. He could eat as much as he wanted while on earth, but the moment he left, all those alien delights were beyond reach…unless someone was willing to pocket a snack or two while out rolling.

Beyond snapped up whatever animal prints he could get his paws on. Trying to bring back living animals to the princedom was an awful idea- even if it didn’t try to run off and accidentally alert the king in the process, who was to say they could be cared for properly out in space? He filled the void with cat-faced mugs and portraits of sea life. Rumor had it that he’d even made an improvised carpet from a zebra-patterned sock.

Marcy was determined to learn everything possible about earth fashion. She snuck magazines and style posters into her back pockets every time she was sent to roll. Around her, actual articles of earth clothing were near-priceless. The girl would all but trip over herself to trade for whatever shiny brooches or beads or satiny gloves were snuck back. Cousins traded with cousins, but if Marcy spotted something fashionable, she would trade with anyone.

Nobody traded with Opeo. Not out of any malice, but because Opeo had nothing to trade. He was a feeble little thing, hardly able to roll up katamaris normally, let alone sneak anything back. The weight of it would probably sprain something. And what would he trade that he didn’t already have? Medical equipment? Goodness knew that if he did, he’d come down with some illness that required it. Opeo wasn’t a trader.

Instead, he was very familiar with finding boxes around the princedom with his name on it.

He flustered every time he saw it. It didn’t seem fair that he was treated differently from the others…but still, he picked it up and brought it home. Any embarrassment gave way to delight as he cut the box open and got to work snuggling whatever was inside of it.

Opeo kept a collection of all kinds of earth toys. Mostly soft ones. He said they were nice to cuddle with, and he kept them in his bed when he felt too sick to get up. The shelves in his room were lined with all sorts of plush bears and rabbits and kittens. Another shelf was filled with dolls of all shapes and sizes and colors, sometimes with little outfits that could be changed as he liked. Some of them even made noise when he squeezed them.

His cousins didn’t visit him often. Some were too busy, and others were afraid of getting sick from him. Whenever they did stop by, though, he was happy to share his earth treasures with them. That was something they’d learned from watching humans, too. Making up silly stories, pretending the animals lived in a house all together, and sending them on little adventures. Opeo never ran out of ways to play.

[tavwrote]

short summary of the absolute chaos in here: thanks to kazuo’s own problems that he refused to get help for, leon now needs: so much therapy, like three different medications, and someone to tell him that his daddy issues aren't his fault. please help him.

kazuo is an incredibly sentimental person, but not very open-minded. he, like his son, latches onto people and crumbles if they leave. when his wife died shortly after childbirth, he hoped leon's existence alone could remind him that a piece of her was still there. leon has her eye color, he has her natural hair color, even his face shape is similar and i can explain why that's an issue in a second. while leon resembles his mother, his mentality and emotions are surprisingly similar to his father. kazuo protects his thoughts and emotions from others by keeping things locked up and he can't stand change. meanwhile, leon watched how badly that affected his father and attempted to do the opposite. he didn't want to turn out like that or be alone, so he pushed himself into several circles of people and insisted they come to him with their problems. this tactic, though, still ended up in him locking away his own feelings so he can properly help other people. he has to be open to change so he can better understand and help people. and that's where he and kazuo clash.

kazuo locks things away and isolates himself from people so he won't get close to anyone else and therefore it won't hurt as bad if he loses them, and leon locks things away and surrounds himself with people so he can make up for how lonely kazuo indirectly made him feel. kazuo hates change, leon can't stand monotony. polar opposites.

so, back to how leon resembles his mother. when he first started wanting to stand out for attention from others ( which also resulted from being emotionally neglected at home ), he demanded that things begin to change. the thing that started the spiral downward was simply him deciding he wanted to dye his hair. it wasn't that big of a deal to leon, but kazuo was so determined to keep what few scraps of victoria he had left that he insisted leon reconsider. and leon can't handle being told "no", so he did what any rebellious kid would do and he argued back. kazuo refused to explain his reasons why, leon demanded to get an answer, and neither would budge at first. finally, though, they made a deal: kazuo would take leon to get his hair dyed if he started listening more. and leon, with no intention of listening more, agreed so he could get his way.

along with that, he started skipping baseball practice, which didn't sit well with his dad either. in his mind, leon was going against everything victoria would've wanted for him ( which isn't true for several reasons but that's a topic for another day ) and never stopped to think if what he wanted for leon was what he actually needed.

his decisions went against what kazuo wanted over and over again, and tensions kept rising. leon kept changing, and kazuo kept failing to adapt. they both just kept getting more and more bitter, and finally, about a year later it all boiled over into the first time leon ever raised his voice at someone else in anger. kazuo hit him with " i didn't raise you to act like that, " leon retaliated with " implying you raised me properly at all? ", etc etc, and that is what gave leon the idea to change his name entirely. up until then, leon was also a kazuo, so he didn’t even hesitate to rub salt in the wound and change one more thing out of pure spite. he was perfectly aware that if anything would truly hurt, it would be to just ditch the only thing he and his father had in common.

he didn't intend to keep the name, but " leon " was a better alternative to " kazuo, " and it stuck by accident. it finally gave him a sense of individuality, and he could thrive on the spite as a bonus.

that said... i do want to add that, despite kazuo's behavior, he did truly love his son. he did genuinely want the best for leon. at least, at first. eventually it did turn into him just wanting to get the upper hand, but it wasn't always like that. both of them did and said things that hurt the other, but they could have been fine had they just sat down and actually listened to each other. leon still wouldn't change who he was, but explaining his side would in turn lead kazuo to realize just how horribly the way he acted actually affected him, and they both could have ended up apologizing and forgiving each other.

unfortunately, they never do get that chance to make up because kazuo—as well as leon's aunt and uncle—all succumb to despair and end up dying in different grotesque ways so. that definitely weighs on leon's conscience!!

[g-hua]

I haven't been here in years... But I think I need a place to vent and talk and all that.

My foster dad passed away back in 2016, and it was kind of a big blow since I was still studying and had to drop everything to pick up the slack... At the same time, a lot of bad things happened...

My ex, who was living with us, left after being in a relationship for 6/7 years, and I found out through his step mom that he was a huge creep and had been cheating on me with a 15 year old (we were both already +15).

My foster brother stole money from my foster mom, his bio mom, after cheating on his wife with someone almost my age (me and my foster brother are 18 years apart) and divorcing her. He stole half of the money my foster dad left her, took out a 10k loan with her as collateral, and another 20k loan with his ex-wife as collateral before disappearing with the money and his new girlfriend. I was left to pick up the pieces of my foster mom and his ex-wives' heart. He also made me work for him for free out of spite for a year and was telling everyone he was paying me while overworking me and telling everyone I was a bad worker. It made finding jobs until everyone heard about what he did before running away really hard. I only found out then what he was saying about me.

Doing all this was really tiring, and I didn't have time to keep up with friends or for social media, so I drifted away from all of my friends and was unable to find most of them again... I also felt like telling them about all these problems was too much and would burden them. I didn't tell anyone that my foster dad had passed away, much less the rest.

I ended up accidentally isolating myself pretty badly... So much so that I've only been able to reconnect back with two or three friends, one because I remembered his steam ID and was able to gather the guts to say hi years after adding him back and the other because I saw an email they sent to me asking to reconnect while I was cleaning an old email address inbox. The third friend I only reconnected because the first friend invited me to hang out with the two of them while he was in town.

Still... It's really hard now to keep in touch with them... I feel like an awkward burden that doesn't know how to socialise.

I also had to deal with a lot of health stuff...

It took a one week stay at a mental hospital to finally be diagnosed as AuDHD after 16 years of being told it was just depression/anxiety and being heavily medicated with SSRIs since very young. I ended up in the hospital because I was having a really bad meltdown and didn't know what meltdowns were or how to deal with them. No one ever diagnosed me because I was pushed so badly to mask with verbal and physical abuse. It only started to crack after my foster dad passed, and there was no one else left to hit me. I got medicated properly, but I'm still on a waiting list for CBT...

I was also tricked by a psychiatrist into doing HRT. I'm AFAB and NB, and most of my dysphoria is chest related, and when I finally gathered the courage to come out after over a decade and go to a doctor she lied to me and said that it was the law that patients had to go through a certain period of HRT before getting a mastectomy. She pressed me against a wall, saying I needed to do HRT to get surgery and change my name/gender on my ID, and kept lying about how it wouldn't affect my body all that greatly if it was just a few months. I caved and believed her. She did all the work herself (she was a psychiatrist), bloodwork, and prescribing the T. After a few months, I didn't feel good and even more dysphoric. I was gaining a lot of weight without any major diet/exercise changes. My neck looked weird. I tried to contact her about it, and she ghosted me. When I contacted the hospital, I found out she had retired. After going to another hospital, I was told that there was no such law and that there was something up with my thyroid. It took +2 years to reverse the health related damage she did, and I nearly needed surgical intervention to my thyroid gland... I've had to start everything from scratch because she never diagnosed me with dysphoria, even though she should have had to get me on HRT and change my birth certificate. The hospital doesn't have any records on me and a few handfuls of other patients, a few of them minors. She took everything with her when she retired.

The pandemic also messed up my immune system pretty badly. I had a lot of sinus problems and got sick easily for a long time after the lockdown and mask rules were lifted here.

So, life hasn't been easy... At all... I feel really behind on everything. I'm lucky enough to have my boyfriend even though we're LDR. We're both dealing with stuff, and we started dating right as the pandemic hit... It toppled everything... I feel like I got in such a hole, and it would have been much worse without him... I lost the will and confidence to do so many things I enjoyed doing before. Art was the biggest blow. I miss art. I miss it so much and don't know where to restart.

Right now, I'm just... Waiting... Slowly picking myself back up from burnout, waiting to be called for CBT so that I can handle life better, so that I can go back to finish HS, so that I can follow the field I always wanted and was always denied which was restoration. Everything has to be so slow for me now so that I don't relapse... Even enjoying things has to be slow. It's really hard for someone like me who spent their whole life pilling things on my back and constantly toppling over and pushing myself back up. I feel like I lost a little bit of me every time I fell, and that's why I'm in this state now.

So, I guess this is it for a first post. I mean, it's my blog, I'm supposed to write about these things too, right? I feel like I should have a justification for how weird I am. So, this is it.

[tangent101]

I've talked at length about this in the past. ^^

There is considerable evidence that William's death *really* messed up Max. For instance, we know that Max is not very scientifically-minded. However, she knew a powerful antidepressant on sight. She knew the drug name and what it was for and was hoping that Chloe was not having to take that medication. The suggestion is that Max knows about this medication because she was probably on it. Now, there's no evidence about it. But Max does has a non-specific learning disorder and anxiety.

We do know that Max stayed in touch with Chloe in the William Lives timeline, up until Chloe was paralyzed. She was also far more self-assured to the point that somehow she befriended Victoria and Nathan. This is a huge factor pointing at the intense psychological trauma that William's death played with Max. William living allows that Max to be someone who was far more well adjusted (up until catching a glimpse of her own mortality when Chloe was paralyzed).

So. Why hold off for five years? In that first year, Max was grieving. She was ripped away from the one person who understood and who grieved as well. But she couldn't reach out to Chloe, it was not her father who had died. So she suffered on her own while dealing with a new school where she was tossed in well over a month into the school year (thus being fresh meat who was likely bullied - and Max has a very poor opinion of bullies which suggests she's been at the receiving end of their "affections").

At some point, things came to a head. Listen to how Max talks about her parents prior to leaving Arcadia Bay... she and Chloe preferred playing in the Price Household, with Max's mom being less-than-pleased at picking up after her daughter and her friend. But when you look at their texts and the like, her parents are far more protective of Max. Why? Well, having a daughter who was bullied and who ended up needing to go on medication for depression can sometimes pull parents together so they fixate on their child in need. In short... Max likely went through hell after leaving Arcadia Bay, and Max's parents had to work overtime to help her cope.

(Case in point: even if Max saves Kate, her parents urge her to come home. They don't want Max at Blackwell but are allowing her to attend and in a way to spread her wings... and yet they still want to make sure Max is safe.)

There is one other thing to consider: it's difficult staying in touch with people. We see this IRL even in this day and age. Look at the contacts on your phone. Look at people you consider friends. When was the last time you talked to some of them? You get busy and then time passes and it's been a month or two! And then you feel awkward about getting in touch with them. After all, for a couple months you didn't say a thing!

Add in the trauma Max and Chloe were going through with William's death and there is a perfect storm going on to drive the girls apart.

(There was a missed opportunity as well. For instance, Max went a month-and-a-half without contacting Chloe. But what if Max had tried to leave a note on Chloe's door? And what if David had intercepted that note, wanting to keep Chloe isolated so he could properly "break" her hoping to "remake" Chloe into a "good soldier" then Max could have stated she left a note. Also, Chloe was doing quite well in school prior to Max leaving, and she was a year ahead of Max so as far as Max knew, Chloe was off to college. Why did Max not contact Chloe? Because she thought Chloe was off to college and she intended on getting in touch with Chloe during the Thanksgiving break. You could even have the original timeline restored, where the game would have taken place in the last week of October and allowed Kate a couple of weeks of torment to explain why she's not doing well, as well as giving a gap between Kate's Dark Room incident and Nathan drugging Chloe.)

tl;dr - Max fell out of touch because of grief and Depression. She likely didn't try to get back in touch with Chloe because she likely believed Chloe was off to college.

Why do you think Max didn't keep in touch with Chloe for those 5 years? Was it anxiety and guilt because of William's death? I don't really believe she wanted to "move on" from Chloe, as some people say. What are your thoughts?

I don't think there was ever a point in time when Max decided to cut contact with Chloe or to move on from their friendship. The five year gap just happened, due to a number of factors. Unfortunately, this is how it sometimes is - we end up hurting people we care about, even though we never meant to.

In Episode 1, when looking at a picture of her and Chloe playing pirates that she kept in her dorm room, Max says that she will eventually contact Chloe, and that she should do it now, because the longer she waits, the harder it will be to reach out.

So why did Max put it off for five years?

William's death certainly hit Max hard too. He was like family to her, like an uncle. In the recording William left for them to unearth, he says he's "bloody proud of the both of them". I don't think that in the immediate aftermath of William's death Max was able to comfort anyone, because she herself lost someone who was essentially a family member.

Max was thirteen when she was separated from Chloe. Even most adults have no idea how to comfort someone experiencing grief. So when she was done grieving William in her own way, she was probably hesitant to contact Chloe because she didn't know where to begin. Of course, the most important part of emotionally supporting someone is actually being there for them. There are no magical combinations of words that make people instantly feel better. Even if Max didn't know what to say, even if she would say something stupid or cliche, the mere fact that she reached out to Chloe would've made Chloe feel better. Less alone. Less hopeless. But once again, Max was thirteen/fourteen then. Let's not expect from a girl barely out of her tweens the emotional maturity that most adults don't have.

After some time contacting Chloe became harder and harder, because Max felt ashamed of her silence. So by putting off reaching out to Chloe she also put off dealing with that shame.

At some point Max also probably assumed that Chloe moved on or wouldn't forgive her. Max, before being reunited with Chloe, had serious problems with self-doubt and self-loathing. She tore up a photograph that would've won the contest, just because she didn't believe she could produce anything of value through her art. The entire nightmare sequence in Episode 5 is just that - Max's fears and doubts trying to overwhelm her mind. "Other Max" is that part of her that always tell her she's not good enough. That no one would want to be her friend if she didn't have her awesome power. When you have a part of your mind telling you things like that, it's easy to believe that your best friend has already moved on and you shouldn't even bother reaching out.

[lunamadhatter99]

The Lady and the Lord

Part 10

Hello hello! There you go. Part 10🥰

Thank you!!!!

Hope you'll like it!

Chapter summary: time to deal with the damages Vecna's done.

Chapter warning: ⚠️ season 4 spoilers ⚠️ slight mention of rape, Andy, lots of cuteness 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tag list: @deafeningempathfishcowboy

@imangy

@dragqueen-eddie

@eddie-the-banished

@hurricane-abigail

@spaceandstars

@once-upon-an-imagine

@ruxjules

@ssagube

@munsonmunster

Two days... two  days since the Upside Down.

Apparently even if Steve, Nancy and Robin managed to kill Vecna, part of his plan succeded.

Four big gates spreading over the whole town, destroyed almost everything, then they stopped and retreated themselves... but they still did lots of damages around Hawkins.That's why a lot of people are now leaving the city.

Max is... okay... she's in a coma. According to the doctor she died for a whole minute, that's why just part of Vecna's plan succeded. Thankfully the doctors also say she's stable and there are a lot of chances she'll wake up soon. Lucas is with her everyday.

And... Eddie... we had lot of troubles bringing him back through the gate, but we did it.

At the hospital they didn't want to take him in, but I managed to talk to the chief and explained to him almost everything so.. he helped. Basically Eddie is fine. Still recovering, but he should be out soon.

Today we, as in Nancy, Robin, Steve, Dustin and I, are collecting some things to take to the Hawkins High school, to help those who got injured and left homeless by the "earthquake".

"Hey Nance! I found so.e more of your old stuff in the attic" Mrs Wheeler comes out of the house with a bix box in her arms.

Nancy quickly collects it and put it in the car.

"Someone order a pizza?" She then asks, earning confused looks from the rest of us.

"Pizza?" Dustin echoes.

We all turn to hear, before see, a horn blaring of a pizza van... stopping in front of the house.

"Oh my god" I let out a chuckle as we see Mike, Will, El, Jonathan and a guy with very long hair... impressive hair getting out of the vehicle.

Mike rushes to his mother, Nancy to Jonathan, Will and El coming towards me and Dustin.

I immediately pull El in for a hug, holding her close not believing she's actually here.

"Hi" I say.

"Hi" she replies tightening her hug.

"What... happened?" I let go to properly look at her, noticing her buzzed hair.

"Long story" she says.

"Hey you" I go to hug Will as Dustin hugs El.

"Hi, Y/n" He says "Where's Lucas?"

"He's at the hospital" Dustin answers.

"Was he hurt?" El asks.

"No. No, he's.."

"He's okay.. Max on the other hand, she's in a sort of coma. The doctors say she should wake up soon though... hopefully" I explain.

"We can take you see her, if you want" Nancy offers and El is quickly to nod her head yes.

Nancy, Jonathan, Mike, El, Will and Argyle, I think his name is, go to the hospital, then to Hopper's cabin, apparently El needs a place to hide, all while Robin, Steve, Dustin and I go to take the boxes to the high school.

"You got it, buddy?" Steve asks Dustin as we walk through the parking lot.

"I'm fine" he assures him. His leg isn't completely healed yet, but Dustin insisted on helping.

We enter the gym, the whole place is filled with people. Lot of them are volunteers, medics, but just as many, if not more, are now-homeless people, people who lost their close ones..

There a big board, covered in poster of missing people.

"Oh god.." I mutter to myself.

One of the girls responsible there smiles at us as we arrive to leave the boxes on the table in front of her.

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Uh, so these are blankets and sheets. And some... some clothes and... and some kids' toys" Robin explains.

"Wow" the girl, 'Melissa' says her name tag, is surprised "it's already so organized. We appreciate that. Do you want a tax receipt for it?" She then asks.

"Uh...No. I don't think that we need one. Thank you, though" Robin answers. "But is there anything else that we can do to help?"

I'm sent to give water to the people sitting in the gym, so is Dustin while Robin is making sandwiches and Steve is at the clothes section.

As I walk around offering glasses of water I notice a man at the missing posters board, he's taking one off to hang another.

I look a bit more attentively and notice it's for Eddie.

Oh my god, that must be Eddie's uncle. Hadn't anyone told him Eddie's okay?

I walk to Dustin.

"Can you hold these for a moment?" I ask him.

"Sure"

I give him the last three glasses of water and I make my way to the man and take a very deep breath.

"Hi, uh... sorry?" I try to catch his attention, he eventually turns around. "Are you... uh... are you Eddie's uncle?"

"That's me" he dryly replies. "What do you want?"

"I'm... can, uh.. can we talk, please?"

"I can't imagine we got anything to talk about. My nephew is innocent" he firmly says.

I look down with a small smile and notice the poster he took of just a moment before.

The old poster of Eddie is smeared with horns and "satanic" drawings... oh..

"I.. I know that, Mr Munson. Trust me" I tell him, looking up at him again.

"What?" He seems taken aback by that.

"I know Eddie, I know he's innocent. And I know he's not missing, sir. He's at the hospital. He got badly hurt during the... the  earthquake, saving me..."

I see him letting out a big sigh of relief, going to sit down.

"You're not making fun of me?" He checks.

"I know the people around here are mean and likes to point their fingers at the first... different person they find.. and you have no reason to trust me, but I'm not lying, sir." I sit with him "Eddie is at the hospital. I don't know why no one warned you earlier"

"What's your name?" He asks.

"I'm Y/n L/n" I answer.

"Oh... I should've known right away... you're the Y/n my nephew always talks about" He chuckles and I feel my cheeks heating up at the thought of Eddie talking about me with his uncle.

"Can't seem to make him shut up about you, you know. God..." he chuckles again, relief written all over his face "for a moment I really thought he was dead... thank you"

"I actually should be the one thanking him, he was a true hero. He is." I chuckle nervously.

"I better go see him.. thank you, for telling me" he stands up shaking my hand, holding it in his. "Hope to see you again, Y/n."

"I hope so too."

As he walks away I call him again "actually... Uh. I know your trailer was one of those seriously damaged by the earthquake and... Eddie's gonna stay at mine for a while..  if you have no place to go, you're more than welcome" I offer.

"You're very kind, Eddie was right about that. But don't worry, I got a place to stay in. Just promise to take care of him?"

"Of course, sir"

"Thank you again" He answers with a sweet smile and walks away again.

I go to Steve to help him folding some shirts and sweaters, and I notice Robin talking and joking with Vickie at the table in front of us.

"Awe look at our baby.." I say.

"I'm so happy for her. She deserves this" Steve says.

"Definitely. Now we're gonna have to find someone for you. You too deserve that" I sweetly tell him as I start to fold some clothes.

"You're just saying that because you want to get rid of me" he jokes.

"Yeah... I mean.. I don't know how Eddie would take it to have you in the way... constantly. You know, a threesome every now and then, fine, but constantly? You're lots of work, Harrington" I laughs.

"Don't tempt me, honey. I still remember some things about that night" he jokes back.

"Oh shut up" I scold him playfully and he laughs.

"So... should I get from it that you and Eddie are a thing now?" He asks with a teasing tone.

"Maybe.." I shyly grin.

"Mhmm... he hurts you, he's dead." He says, suddenly serious.

"Yeah, sure Stevie. Sure" I give him a sceptical look.

"Hey... I can beat him up" He insists.

"I'm not saying anything, Stevie"

"I didn't like your tone, honey" he says.

"I'm messing with you" I nudge him "thank you.."

"For what? Handing you the shirts?" He jokes.

"Yeah that... and also.. for always looking out for me" I quietly say.

"Thank you for trusting me" he wraps one arm around my shoulders kissing my head.

"Now, please... don't say anything about Eddie to Dustin, not yet."

"Why?" Steve asks confused, getting back at folding some sweaters.

"Because he wanted to be the very first to know about me and Eddie so... don't say anything." I ask him with a chuckle.

"Sure" he laughs.

" I have to find the right way to tell him"

"why? He's been your number one fan all this time, he's gonna be enthusiastic" Steve tells me.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want him to organise a wedding or... hear him say 'I told you'" I explain, mimicking Dustin's voice.

"Right... wait...Do I get to be the best man, right?" He jokes leaning onto me.

"You're gonna be my bridesmaid, Stevie." I tell him with a laugh.

There's a comical pause in which he actually considers it, before he speaks again "deal"

"I need to find a way to tell him without him freaking out too much, you gotta help me, okay?" I let out a nervous chuckle, when he doesn't answer right away I insist "Okay?"

"I don't think he's the one you should be worried about... on this 'boyfriend' matter" he tells me.

"Why?" I look up to him, but his eyes aren't on me, rather behind me.

I turn around curiously looking around the gym.

My eyes land on a very familiar figure... that can't be... Hopper?

"Steve..."

"Yes honey?"

"Tell me you see him too please." I shakily ask "I don't want to run to a complete stranger because I'm having hallucinations"

"Go hug him, honey." Steve gently pushes me forward and I immediately rush to the other side of the gym, making my way through the sea of people on the way.

I see him brightly smile at me as I get closer, he opens his arm as I jump at him wrapping my arms around his neck crying like a baby.

His arms are tightly wrapped around me.

"I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here" he rubs my back, letting me back on the ground gently.

I notice Joyce next to him and I hug her too.

"Hey" she says kissing my head.

I let her go and turns back to Hopper.

"How... what... how?" I ask between sobs.

"Well... someone still owes me some snacks for movie night, right?" He jokes, his eyes wet from tears too.

"Shut up" I tell him, wiping away some tears, even if more falls from my eyes. "Oh my god... El! You already saw El? She's at..."

"I did, we stopped at the cabin and they were all there" He tells me.

"Now she looks just like you. You got the same haircut" I laugh, still wiping away some tears.

"Yeah, it looks better on her though" he laughs too.

Then I feel someone beside me, Steve arrived too.

"Hey" Steve greets Hopper, shaking his hand.

"Hey Cool-Hair, you took care of my daughter?" Hopper asks.

"Always, sir" Steve nods.

"Daughter?" I ask.

"I... I wanted to surprise you last year, before the mind flayer happened, but..I didn't get the chance" Hop says reaching behind him to his pocket.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"I left it at the cabin, thankfully it was still there when I went earlier." He hands me some papers.

"What... what is it?" I ask again, more confused.

"Adoption papers... all you need to do is sign it..." he nervously explain "if you want to, of course. And you're still gonna live in your house, I know how much you care about your independence... but.. yeah we can still be a family."

"I... I... I don't know what... to say" I stutter.

"Well, think about it, whether you sign it or not, you'll have to tell him about you and Eddie" Steve jokes. I glare at him and he turns back around walking back to the clothing section.

"Who's Eddie? And why there's a 'you and Eddie', uh?" Hopper asks.

"Jim..." Joyce warns him, a sweet smile on her face though.

"What? I'm away for a year and she got a boyfriend? I have the right to ask about it!" He defends, making me laugh.

"Yeah ask, not interrogate" Joyce insists.

Hooper just sighs, deeply, eyes softening when he looks back at me.

"What do you say, sweetheart?" He then asks.

I look down at the papers in my hand, more tears spilling out.

"Well, uh... do you.. do you have a pen?" I ask.

Joyce rushes to grab a pen and excitedly hands it to me, so I can sign the papers.

I'm gonna have a dad... oh shit. That's crazy.

I realised, during this last week, that I always got a family. Now.. now It's just official.

After I sign it, I hand the papers back to him, hugging him again, tightly.

"So, now that we're officially a family," he starts as he pulls away, wiping away more tears. "who's Eddie?

"Oh, I think I should get back to help Steve, you know." I start to walk away "he's not that good at folding shirts"

"This isn't over!" He tells me.

"I'm counting on it!" I yell back, with the biggest smile on my face.

I love how Steve completely gave up in complaining and just drives around wherever we want.

It's actually nice of him, I know he secretly likes doing it.

"Thanks again, Stevie" I tell him as he drives me and Dustin to the Hospital.

"Oh no problem, honey. Gotta check if the boyfriend is okay" he casually says.

"I still can't believe you told him before me!" Dustin complains.

"How many times do I have to ask for forgiveness?" I ask, holding back a chuckle.

"I already forgave you. Also, me constantly telling you 'I told you so' is just enough punishment" he replies.

"You're lucky I love you, Dusty" I semi-warn him.

"Well.. he did tell you" Steve chimes in.

"I warn you too, Harrington" I tell him pointing a finger at him.

"What are you gonna do, uh? Spank me?" He laughs.

"Hey! She's taken, dude. Enough of that" Dustin scold Steve.

"Calm down, Dustin. No risk here anymore" Steve reassures him.

"You better." Dustin sends Steve a glare through the rearview mirror, then realises what he says "wait... anymore?"

"Oh god.." I laugh. "Enough with this, alright? Also... we didn't define anything yet. He was too busy bleeding out to talk about... whatever this is"

"What do you mean? It's pretty obvious he wants you to be his girlfriend" Steve says as a matter of fact.

"Still... we haven't talked about it yet." I tell them.

"Ready for another round of 'I told you's, Henderson?" Steve asks.

"Always"

"I don't like you guys teaming up against me" I laugh.

"You do that all the time with him against me!" Steve complains, with a chuckle.

"Yeah.. because that's fun!" I reply as he parks the car.

We get out of the car and make our way in the hospital.

We go to the table and ask one of the nurses for Max's room and Eddie's. After showing us the way he went back to his desk and we got into Max's room first, finding Lucas still there.

"Hey Lucas" I greet him with a hug and then I go to sit beside Max's bed.

She's still unconscious, but she... looks fine. I think. 

"Hey yourself" I softly say to her.

"Thanks for coming" Lucas then tells us as he sit beside me.

"How couldn't we?" Dustin replies with a smile.

"Your eye looks better" I notice looking at his face.

"Yeah, it feels better too"

If I ever find Jason in front of me again, I swear he's done. Beating up a fourteen year-old... fuck's sake.

"Jason's lucky I wasn't there.." Steve comments, rightly mad.

"With all respect, Steve, but I think Y/n here would kick his ass better than you" Dustin shrugs and I let out a small chuckle, while Lucas laughs.

"Thank you very much, Henderson" Steve rolls his eyes.

"Aww, Stevie, we know you could've taken him." I sarcastically say.

"You're on thin ice, Honey" he warns me.

I stick my tongue out at him and go back at looking at Max. She's completely still, obviously yeah, but it's still a painful sight.

"Did the doctors say anything else?" I ask Lucas, not once looking away from Max.

"They just say she's actually doing great, that she'll probably wake up soon" he answers. 

"That's.. that's good" I slightly smile at him before moving my attention back to Max.

"Hey, guys, why don't you go buy something to eat, uh? Have a walk, Sinclair. We'll stay here" Steve suggests them.

Dustin and Lucas accept and walk out of the room.

"You good?" Steve takes Lucas' place beside me.

"Yeah.. yeah. It's just hard seeing her like this. Even though the doctors are positive she'll wake up soon... it's still hard. All of that to keep her save and..." I take a deep breath.

"I know" he gently grabs one of my hand "I know. When we killed Vecna, we went down to see his body and then... we heard the grandfather clock chiming, in that moment.. in that moment, I swear I felt.. I felt like dying myself. I couldn't believe we failed" he sincerely tells me and I squeeze his hand to reassure him "but thankfully... we didn't.. or not completely at least. But I still can't not think about how we could've prevented it..."

"You couldn't know, Steve, we couldn't know. That was the biggest risk all along. But we did it, uh? Once again we fucking did it." I look at him, giving him a small smile as my eyes start watering "as always"

"We fucking did it" he nods with a smile.

"And she's gonna be fine and everything is going to be okay"

"Oh definitely, if Mayfield doesn't wake up, I'll kill her" he jokes.

"I'll help you." I laugh and Steve does the same. 

In that moment Dustin and Lucas come back with some food for us too.

"We stopped by Eddie's room on the way back, he looks good" Dustin says.

"You talked to him?"

"Yeah, he just feels a little tired he says. You should.. see your boyfriend" Dustin teases. 

"Ooh so it's official?" Lucas asks with a small grin.

"No. Nothing's official. And you, Dusty, you're lucky we almost lost two of us, otherwise you'd be dead now" I say as stand up walking to the door.

"You're not coming, Steve?" I ask.

"I'll just leave you two some room, I'll come later" he winks and I just roll my eyes before exiting and heading to Eddie's room.

On my way there, in an almost empty hallway, I bump into someone. 

"Sorry" I quietly apologise.

"No worries, baby"

You've got to be kidding me.

I look up seeing Andy right on front of me with a disgusting grin on his face.

What the hell is he doing here? Oh.. righ... Jason's been injured too.

I quickly move to the side to walk past him, but he blocks my way, making me roll my eyes.

"What are you doing here, uh? Came here to apologise?" He asks.

"I'm..." I stutter " w-wait... apologies? Why would I apologise?" I ask, rather confused. 

"Well, you haven't been very kind last time we saw each other... threatening to use a shotgun against us..." he says it like the most obvious thing in the world.

"You first threatened to rape me, then you threatened my friend... I don't think I should be the one fucking apologising" I tell him, shocked.

"Hey, hey, hey, Where's the sweet girl gone?" He jokes getting closer, making me take a few steps back. "Uh? C'mon, baby. Why don't we get out of here?"

"No.." I move back again, but he follows quickly.

"Oh, why? You got better plans?" He asks.

"Yes" I try to sound firm, but I know my voice breaks a little.

"Like what?"

"Seeing my friends" I answer. 

"You're not here to see Munson, are you?"

"Yes... yes I am" I try to walk past him again, but once again he grabs my hips pulling me to him.

I put my hands on his arms to push him away, but he doesn't bulge.

"You look so cute when you struggle. I'm sure I could show you a better time than him." he leans down towards me.

"I said no" I hit him in the crotch with my knee, making him hiss in pain and let me go. "Don't fucking touch me"

I walk away to Eddie's room and once I find it I enter, as fast as I can.

"What a beautiful sight... hey what's wrong?"

Oh... it's so nice to hear his voice again..

I turn around walking to him, sitting on the bed with him. Eddie just looks at me worried and confused.

"Just a dickhead who can't seem to accept 'no' as an answer" I shrug.

"Oh my" he starts, but I cut him off.

"I hit him in the balls. Hopefully he understands this" I tell Eddie and he just bursts out laughing.

"Oh god... I wish I saw that" he says "my brave girl"

"Shut up.." I look down.

"Still so shy, aren't we?" He teases.

"Me? Never" I sarcastically say and he gently grabs my hand in his playing with my fingers. "You okay?" I ask him.

"Now that you're here... so much better" he grins at me.

"You're terrible..." I playfully roll my eyes "but seriously... are you okay?"

"Yeah, yes m'lady. I'm okay. They patched me up good" he softly chuckles.

"That's good" I smile at him and I see his eyes moving between my own and my lips. "You'll kiss me properly" I tell him.

"Oh c'mon!" He complains, but laugh too and I just shake my head "You're being cruel now, you know that?"

"It was the deal" I shrug.

"The deal included, also, anything else" he hints, teasingly.

"It still does" I wink at him.

"Oh christ... be mine" he suddenly says.

"What?" I ask, taken aback by his words.

"Would you be my girlfriend? Like... officially?" He sweetly smiles at me and, I swear, I could just melt for how softly his eyes are looking at me right now. "And before you could answer. Yes, Dustin talked to me, but no it wasn't because of him I'm asking you. Yes, I'm asking you because I like you, a lot" he smiles at me "Aaaand... Yes, I know Hopper's your father now, like officially your father now and I am ready to meet him, whenever he wants"

That makes me laugh, genuinely.

"I would've said yes, even if you weren't ready, my lord"

"I know... but I still wanted you to know." He move my hand to his lips kissing it gently, making me look away.

"You're gonna be the death of me, Munson" I tell him.

"The feeling is mutual, m'lady" he winks and then smiles. "Are you still sure you want me to stay at your place?" He then asks.

"Positive" I nod "why wouldn't I?"

"Well maybe Hopper has something to say about that" he tells me with a shrug.

"He's fine... I guess, he doesn't have much of a choice. I told him I made a promise to  your uncle and he couldn't argue that." I reply with a reassuring smile.

"Oh about that... Wayne wants to.. have dinner all together one of these days.. you know" he's slightly nervous again, playing with my fingers and rings "he insists on buying us dinner to.. get to know you better"

"Why so nervous, love?" I ask, genuinely curious. 

"It would be the first time I introduce someone to him" he answers with a timid smile looking me in the eyes "it's a big deal"

"Well then, I accept his invitation. But... next time I'll cook" I tell him.

"Oh well you'll have to talk with him about that. I want nothing to do with this" he raises his hand up.

I laugh and move my gaze to his hands as he lowers them back to his lap.

Shit...What if his uncle finds me boring, or he hates me? I'm gonna make a fool of myself, I know.

I never thought I'd be the kind of girl someone would want to introduce to their relatives... it's gonna be a disaster. 

"Where's that mind going, m'lady?" Eddie's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. 

"Uh?"

"What troubles my lady's mind?" He grabs my hands caressing them.

"Nothing... it's stupid" I shake my head.

"Mmh..." he considers me for a moment "Nah, that can't be. Tell me" he moves his head sideways, a pout on his lips "please?"

"Just... overthinking.." I answer. 

"About what?" He sits up straight again.

"Oh nothing... just what if he ends up hating me?" I softly say.

"Yeah.. as if that's even possible" Eddie chuckles, but his eyes are gentle. "He already loves you. I talked so much about you, it's like he already knows you"

I laugh, still embarrassed he actually talked about me to his uncle... it's sweet.

"And trust me... I said all good thing"

"You did?" I ask, shyly meeting his eyes.

"Oh yeah. I started to tell him about you after I brought you home, after out project meeting." He starts, fingers interlocking with mine as he speaks "he asked me why I was so late and I told him I had to take home the most beautiful girl in the world"

"Oh shut it.." I say, feeling my cheeks warming up.

"Then everyday I would tell him what those little shits told me about you... I'd tell him about how sweet you looked that day, how kind you always are with everyone.. and also I'd ask him what could I have done to approach you again, without scaring you"

"You could have never scared me, Eddie." I gently tell him chucking.

"That's one of the many things that attracted me to you. 'How come such a sweet girl isn't afraid of me?' I asked myself, you know... seeing what everyone says about me." He continues "Dustin then told me how little you care about what everyone says, that's when I started to get obsessed" he laughs "always looking your way, hoping you would notice me"

"I always noticed you" I tell him "whenever the professors forced you to sit in the front row I take a look at you. At your vest, trying to see if there are any new patch on it. In the cafeteria, I always hoped you put on one of your 'shows' so I had a good excuse to look at you and not just stare" I let out a small laugh "and obviously, Dustin started to talk more and more about you and about the campaigns you make, your jokes and about how you were the only person in high school to treat them... well.. not like shit." I squeeze his hands "I always noticed you... I just never thought you would notice me"

"Well, we always noticed each other..."

"But none of us had enough courage to speak to the other" I finish for him, with a chuckle. 

"Exactly." He nods "Oh well.. now we'll just have to make it up for the lost time, uh?" He winks.

"Of course" I smile.

A knock interrupts us.

"Yes?"

"It's Steve. Can I come in?" Steve asks.

"Does he have to?" Eddie jokes.

"Sure!" I tell Steve.

"Hey, man" he enters and walk to us.  "How do you feel?"

"Oh all good." Eddie replies "especially with her right here"

"I told you to stop it" I shyly laugh.

"And I told you... never" he replies smugly.

"Is it official? Like.. you guys..." Steve starts.

"Yes, Steve. Okay?" I say with an exasperated laugh. 

"So... I can finally to 'The Speach', yeah?" He asks me, hopeful.

"Oh god.." I hide behind my hand.

"C'mon, Harrington, scare me." Eddie listens carefully.

"Listen, man. We all care about you, that's true. But... if you dare hurt Y/n, I promise you, I personally will hunt you down and you wouldn't want me to find you. You'd regret those bats." Steve tries to sound threatening. 

"Don't worry Harrington, if I ever hurt her, I'd gladly let you kick my ass. I'd deserve that" Eddie replies, calmly.

"I don't need you to 'let me' kick your ass, man... I could take you" Steve insists. 

"With all due respect... I'm much more scared of the younger Sinclair" Eddie says honestly.

"Told you, Stevie."

"Also... she could easily kick my ass better than you" Eddie adds pointing at me.

"Alright, fuck you guys" Steve just shrugs, defeated. 

"Oh c'mon." I laugh "come here" I grab a chair and put it next to the bed so Steve can sit with us.

"You sure you're good?" He checks again.

"Yeah, Harrington. I'm good, surprisingly good." Eddie answers ad he keeps playing with my fingers. "Plus I got a cute girl helping me, right?" He looks at me.

"Anytime" I smile at him.

"That's good, man. You faced the worst of the worst and look at you, still with us. Only a few scratches" Steve tries to cheer him up.

"Yeah, got some big scars.." Eddie replies, quietly. Feigning confidence, but I think there's more than that. Before I could say something he continues "like yours, big boy, uh?"

"Scar-brothers, you should start a band now" I joke, squeezing Eddie's hand, silently reassuring him.

"Cool name. We're gonna drop 'corroded coffin' and make new t-shirts" he chuckles. 

"I'll make the logo" I offer.

"Oh then you're gonna be famous for sure" Steve teases.

"Obviously" Eddie agrees.

"I think we should go though. I have a shift at family video today" Steve tells me.

"Oh.. yeah don't worry" I say "give us a minute, okay?"

"Sure" he smiles. "Get well soon, alright? I don't think I could stand Henderson alone for much longer" he jokes.

"Don't worry, I heal quickly" Eddie assures him.

"Good" Steve walks to the door "can I still call her 'honey' or is it forbidden?" He asks then.

"You ask her, not me" Eddie replies.

Good answer, I think.

I just laugh "as always Stevie. Me having a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't be my friend anymore"

"Just checking. Okay, see you at the car, honey" he finally leaves.

I shake my head chuckling.

"He cares a lot about you" he notes.

"Yeah, well... we've been friends for centuries basically" I smile at him again.

"Hey.. uh... thanks for visiting today" he leans his head to the wall behind him.

"No need to thank me, my lord. I'm just glad you're okay" I tell him "you scared the shit out of me" I then admit.

"I'm sorry" he smiles a little. "But I'd do that again if it means you're gonna be fine"

"So would I" I tell him.

"Oh no, no, I'm more expendable, you let me risk my life" he defends.

"Yeah.. sure, as if I'd let you" I laugh confidently.

"I don't need your permission" he chuckles surprised.

"Neither do I" I smirk.

He just laughs, happily, and I do too.

"Should I tell you what you do to me when you get so cocky, or it's too soon?" He wonders with a teasing grin.

"Let it be a surprise" I say getting up. "I better go. I don't want to be the reason Steve's gonna get fired... or I'll never hear the end of it"

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asks. "I mean... I get out tomorrow"

"Oh no, you'll never see me again, my lord I say dramatically with a small laugh.

"Then kiss me and say goodbye properly, m'lady" he follows my joke.

"Fair point.. you got me" I laugh, then sweetly smile at him. I lean down to give him a peck on the cheek.

"Can't wait, m'lady" he bows his head a little.

I walk to the door and, before walking out, I blow him a kiss which he gladly catches.

"See you tomorrow, love" and I walk out of the door as I hear him again.

"I fucking love it when you call me that!"

I laugh rolling my eyes and head out to Steve's car.

[liamrysandme]

Hurt- Part two

All characters belong to Pixelberry

Book: Open Heart

Paring: Ethan x F!MC

Word count: 3741 

Warnings: Head injury, surgery. 

A/N: I’m doing my second year of residency and I really wanted to write a medically accurate fic!

Part One 

Ethan was sitting in his office, specs on and looking over some blood work results. Truthfully, he was concerned about his girlfriend. Earlier when the rest of the team had met, she complained of a headache and just seemed a little off. It wasn’t like her but as a junior fellow on the diagnostics team she was being given more responsibilities, more challenging, stressful cases that she wouldn’t been able to take when she was an intern. Maybe it was just stress. It didn’t stop the older doctor being concerned though, it’s strange behaviour for her. 

Ethan had just finished looking through the results for the team's newest patient. Everything was normal, except the patient had a vitamin D deficiency and a vitamin E deficiency too which could be why he’s experiencing vision disturbances, fatigue and muscle weakness but unfortunately didn’t explain the rest of his symptoms. 

He was just finishing looking through when his pager went off. Ethan picked it up off his desk, read the message and was immediately up out of his seat and moving toward the door. 

** 

Ethan rushed into the ER just in time to see Sienna and Bryce wheeling her in. He’d rushed through the hospital like a complete mad man- the staff he passed must’ve thought he was a lunatic. 

Ethan made his way up to the gurney just as they were wheeling her into a cubicle. “W-what happened?” Ethan stuttered asking no one in particular. 

“Er…” Bryce started, swallowing thickly as he looked down to one of his closest friends laying unconscious on a gurney. 

“Dr Lahela. Bryce,” Ethan said sternly and urgently, encouraging the younger doctor to continue. 

“Erm...a New-onset seizure, she complained of a headache earlier and also vomited," Bryce summarised, clinically. He needed to attempt to distance himself emotionally from this if he was going to help her. “We gave her five of diazepam to stop the seizure. She’s post ictal. She woke up for a minute or so and now isn’t responsive.” 

Ethan moved to reach for a pair of gloves from a box hung on the wall, “Right, someone get me IV access and page Neuro. Now.”

There was a flurry of activity. “Okay, I’ve got an 18 going in the left AC!” A nurse called as Ethan slipped on the pair of gloves and stepped closer to the bed. 

“Ethan, you can’t-” Bryce started. Ethan turned to him and gave him a pointed glare. 

“Either you two can help me or you can stand there and I’ll save her life single-handedly.” Ethan didn’t wait for a response as he turned his attention back to her. “Casey? Casey, can you hear me?” Ethan called, rubbing her sternum. 

This time Ethan managed to get her to open her eyes. She made an attempt to shuffle away from Ethan’s touch but couldn’t. He listened closely, noting her breathing was irregular. He moved closer to her to get a better listen. “Okay, she’s not moving enough air,” Ethan explained. He was just about to request that somebody bag her when Casey started gagging. “She’s vomiting. Let’s roll her.” 

Bryce moved to support her head as Ethan and a team of nurses helped to support the rest of her as they rolled her on her side. 

"I need suction,” Bryce requested, a nurse handed it to him and he took over draining the vile stuff from her mouth. 

“Anyone have any ideas?” Ethan asked the team. There were a thousand explanations. A thousand different diagnoses. 

“Meningitis?” Sienna suggested from the sidelines. 

“What’s her temperature?” Ethan asked. A nurse quickly checked her temperature. 

“It’s normal,” She said. 

“No fever. It’s not meningitis,” he insisted,” Her blood pressure is high,” Ethan noted. 

“A stroke?” Bryce suggested. He knew that was unlikely given her age but the symptoms added up. 

Ethan didn’t say anything as he moved around the bed. He gently pushed the hair away from the back of her head so the goose egg shaped hematoma was visible. “No, there’s a hematoma here. This is trauma.” 

Casey’s eyes momentarily opened, she moved her arm trying to move Ethan’s hand away but failed to do so before her eyes fluttered back shut. 

“She hit her head?” Bryce questioned. It didn’t make sense to Ethan either, when did this happen? How did this happen? 

“Okay, er...Roll her back down carefully, then get her in a collar and then she needs an urgent CT.” 

After they were sure Casey had finished vomiting, they turned her back over, got a neck brace on her and Bryce took over ventilating, except she wasn’t moving much air and he’d tried re-positioning her jaw to no success. “She’s not protecting her airway. I can’t-” Bryce announced, trying once again to position her jaw properly. 

Ethan knew what that meant. She’s not able to protect her airway which meant they needed to intubate. This definitely wasn’t something anyone thought they’d need to deal with today and they all still had no idea how this happened. 

“Ethan!” Bryce called, when the older doctor seemed to zone out for a second. How did this happen? 

“We need to intubate her,” Ethan announced. Ethan moved to the head of the bed, moving Bryce out of the way as a nurse handed him the laryngoscope. He used a technique called a jaw thrust to try and open her airway, since he couldn’t move her head since the she had a potential spinal injury. After that was done he placed the laryngoscope. He took him a second to  it in the right position. “Okay...pass me a 7.0 tube.” A nurse handed him the right sized tube. Once again, It took Ethan a couple of seconds to place the tube. Once it was in place he slipped the laryngoscope out of her mouth. 

Ethan then moved from the head of the bed as a nurse connected the tube to the BVM.  “Steth-” Ethan ordered, Sienna took her stethoscope off and handed it to Ethan. Ethan listened to her breathing through the scope for a couple seconds, “Okay, I've got bilateral breath sounds. Okay, someone inflate the cuff and then lets get her to CT. Someone call them and say we’re coming.”

** 

Ethan, Dr. Gary Taylor- the neurosurgeon on call, and the technician we’re standing in the CT technicians room looking at the images as they spread across the computer screen. 

“C-spine is all clear,” Dr Taylor nodded, “There’s no sign of a spinal injury.”  Although Ethan already suspected that so it was no surprise. 

“She’s bleeding on the brain,” Ethan mumbled. Neuro wasn't in any way his specialty but he didn’t need to be a specialist to see the bleed on the CT. 

“Subdural hematoma,” Dr. Taylor nodded. “She needs surgery.”  The two doctors filed out of the room, as a couple nurses headed into the CT room to get Casey out of the scanner then prep her for surgery. 

Gary was definitely not who Ethan would want to operate on his girlfriend. He’s an arrogant little shit but Harper was sick and he’s the surgeon on call. Dr. Taylor turned to Ethan just outside the room. “You’re not coming anywhere near my OR.” 

It frankly annoyed Ethan that was picking a fight now. Yes, they’d butted heads many, many times in the past but now was not the time to piss off and simultaneously test his restraint, not while Casey’s life is at risk.  

“I’m going with her,” Ethan insisted. He didn’t want to leave her. He wanted...needed to be with her. 

"If you come into my OR, I will have you removed," Dr. Taylor pointed a finger in Ethan's face, "You watch from the gallery. Do I make myself clear?"

Ethan was fighting every instinct he had to punch him, his jaw and fists clenched tightly by his sides. Had Dr. Taylor not been one of the best neurosurgeons next to Harper, he just may have followed through with it.

“Fine.”

** 

Everyone made quick work of getting Casey prepped. Ethan walked alongside the bed as they made their way towards the OR. 

Ethan’s head started pounding in his chest as they approached the sterile line line. Someone was about to open up her skull and he couldn't stop thinking about everything that could go wrong. The damage that can be caused, that already could’ve been caused. 

Ethan leaned down and place a kiss on her forehead, "Don't you give up on me now Rookie, okay? I need you." He whispered as he took her hand. “I love you so much,” His voice wavered. Whether or not she could hear him didn't  matter; he just wanted to tell her. 

Ethan let go of her hand and the other slip of the raising as the scrub nurses rolled her through the OR doors, her anaesthesiologist following closely behind. Ethan felt helpless when the door swung shut- that was a new feeling for him. He was frozen in place. That could’ve been the last time he gets to tell her that he loves her. That he needs her.

**

Naveen had arrived and guided Ethan to the gallery. This was a sick, cruel form of torture for him. He didn’t like not having any control over what happened in there. He didn’t want to watch and do nothing. He couldn’t help but be annoyed with the surgical team as they scrubbed in- the bleed could potentially be getting bigger and bigger, causing more and more damage. 

Bryce, Sienna, Elijah and Jackie were also now present. Jackie had explained to them how Casey could’ve hit her head. If Casey wasn’t so stubborn and had just told Jackie the truth. This could’ve been avoided. 

Ethan just stood, fixed on the scene below him. He involuntarily flinched when Gary turned on the bone saw. He’d seen this a dozen times but...his girlfriend was never the one on the table. 

He wasn’t squeamish. Ethan couldn't afford to be in this job but seeing someone drilling into Casey’s skull had him feeling that way. 

He couldn't take this. He thought he could deal with it but he couldn’t stand to hear the horrific, nightmare inducing, sound of a bone saw drilling into her skull. 

"I’m...I'm gonna pass out," Ethan stuttered, stumbling back. Naveen was immediately on his feet at his statement. Ethan staggered backwards again right into Naveen.

“Ethan, sit down,” Naveen ordered. He guided him to a seat. He’d kept it together but he just couldn’t anymore. This was the final straw. That sound...

He ran a hand through his hair, fighting to urge to put both of them over his ears. Soon the sound stopped, he’d thought that would be a relief but it now meant Casey brain was on display. 

Tears started to pool in his eyes as he unsteadily got to his feet and gazed down into the OR. He quickly turned his gaze to Naveen then back to Casey. “She-” He started, his eyes refilling and glistening with unshed tears. Before too long they slipped down his cheeks. “She...she h-has to be okay... s-she n-needs t-to b-be.”

**

It was two days later since Casey’s freak little accident and Ethan hadn’t left her side. Ethan was sitting by her bedside when Bryce came in to stand at the end of her bed. 

“How is she?” 

Ethan nodded, “ Surgery was considered a success, there were no complications, her post- op EEG was all normal. SBT's have all been great. They’ve even started lightening sedation as well. She’s practically the ideal candidate for a full recovery.” 

"That's great," Bryce exhaled, nodding gratefully. 

“Yeah,” Ethan sighed. Both men tried not to think about that fact that Casey may now wake up as the same woman they once knew or wake up at all. There was no reason to believe that anything will go wrong, yet that's the only thing he can think about. 

** 

It was much later that day when Sienna and Elijah stopped by after their shift had ended. Ethan had moved from his post and was now standing by the window, looking over the view of the dark hospital parking lot. 

"How's our favourite patient?" Elijah asked as he and Sienna came in. Ethan turned to face them nodding. 

“Really good,” Ethan replied with a small sigh, 

“Bryce said that they’re lowering her sedation?” Sienna asked, Ethan nodded. 

“Yeah, they started this morning. Dr. Taylor hopes to see her start to wake up soon but it’s a waiting game for the time being.” 

Suddenly an alarm on the monitor started to ring and Casey’s head jerked back. All three doctors we’re immediately next to her. 

"Is she seizing?" Sienna asked, unsure of what she was seeing.

Ethan looks to the monitor then back to Casey. “No, no, this isn’t a seizure. She’s bucking the vent,” He explained, the younger doctors relaxed somewhat, pleased that this wasn’t an emergency. 

Ethan took hold of her hand resting on her stomach and placed his other on her shoulder, “Casey can you hear me? Case?” Ethan gave her shoulder a light pinch and her eyes fluttered open. 

Ethan could see the panic  in her eyes as her surroundings started to become clear to her. She started grabbing at her face, desperately attempting to remove whatever was choking her. Ethan caught her frantic hands in his, stilling her and stopping her pawing at the tube. 

“Don’t do that, You're alright, Case, look at me," Ethan said calmly, "Look at me."

She looked up to him. It took her a second to connect the dots- Ethan . She searched his face frantically, trying to figure out what was going on. She’s scared and she can't figure out why her boyfriend isn’t doing anything to help her. Ethan read her expression. 

“Casey, you had surgery,” Ethan told her plainly, “You’ve got a tube in your throat, that’s helping you to breathe.” She shook her head; tears welling in her eyes. “Casey, you need to leave it in.” 

She withdrew away from him."Case-" Ethan warned.

She immediately reached for the tube tamer and tore the velcro off as Sienna and Ethan jumped forward to grab hold of her arms. If Casey wasn’t panicking she would know that she couldn’t just rip it out but she rightfully so freaking out.

"Wait, wait, wait, stop!" Ethan called. He turns to the side and reached for a syringe and she relaxes. "Hold on, I got you," He murmured quietly as he deflated the balloon. "Big cough on three, okay?" He instructed as he gripped the tube, "One, two, three."

Casey erupted in a coughing fit as Ethan gently slid the tube out. Sienna gently held an oxygen mask up to her face, which she gratefully gasped into. Once she slowed down, she finally rested her head back against the pillow. Ethan rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"There you go, easy, just breathe," Ethan soothed.

"E-" she sputtered quietly.

"Shhh, don't talk, just breathe," Ethan said, watching her vitals on the screen. “Okay, You’re stable.” Ethan turned to face Elijah and Sienna on the other side of the bed. “Could one of you go and update Dr. Taylor.” 

Instead of one of them going, the pair did. As much as they wanted to see their friend, they knew Ethan needed some time with her. 

"Do you know where you are?" Ethan asked as he sat on the bed beside her.

"Eden-" She replied, the rest of the word silent from her hoarseness.

“That’s right,” Ethan nodded. Casey nodded to the glass of water on the bedside table. Ethan picked it up and held the straw to her lips as Casey took a few large gulps. “Slowly, small sips.” Once Casey was done Ethan placed the cup back down.

“Ethan,” Casey breathed, her voice scratchy and quiet. She reached out to him, She just wanted some comfort, she still didn’t know what was happening. 

"That was the answer to my next question," He smirked. He got to his feet to lean over to place a kiss on her forehead, just below the dressing over the incision wound. “How are you feeling? Any pain?" He asked sweetly.

"No," she shook her head, wiping at her tired eyes, "What happened?"

"You hit your head really hard and you needed surgery to fix—" Ethan started.

"No, not like I'm a patient," She interrupted, holding up a hand, “Talk to me like I'm a doctor. Don’t gloss over anything, I want to know what happened. Everything.” 

A hint of a smile ghosted over her boyfriend's lips. Ethan was just relieved to have her back if he was being honest. Who knew that a freak accident could make you realise how much you need someone?  He always knew that Casey was able to keep him on his toes but this definitely took it up a notch. 

“Well, you managed to somehow hit that pretty head of yours which caused a subdural hematoma,” Ethan started with a sigh. He wished that he didn’t need to relay this to her but it's what she wanted after all. “You  had a seizure, During the time you were in ER we had to intubate you because you weren’t able to maintain your own airway, then when we were examining you we found a hematoma on the back of your head. Shortly after you were rushed to CT. The CT showed a bleed on your brain and then you had surgery.” 

“Why did I have a seizure? Did I hit myself during it?” 

“No, Bryce and Sienna made sure you didn’t hurt yourself during your seizure,” Ethan reassured, shaking his head, “You were acting off before the seizure started according to Bryce and Sienna. I assume that was an Aura but then you had been complaining of a headache while we were together shortly before this happened. Taking into account all of your symptoms, I assume you must’ve hit your head at some point during the day,” Ethan explained, Casey  nodded along. “Do you remember how that happened.” 

“No,” Casey replied

“Jackie seems to think you hit it on a bed.” 

She nodded, her eyebrows creasing. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember anything from that day. It was all a blur. "Who operated?" 

“Dr. Taylor,” Ethan said reluctantly. The man was arrogant, pompous and very few people in the hospital actually liked the man. Although he had many, many unappealing qualities, Ethan couldn’t deny that he was at least skilled, he saved his girlfriend's life after all. 

Casey huffed and rolled her eyes. "You really think I'd let him come anywhere near you with a ten blade If there was any other choice?" 

“No,” Casey muttered, a hint of smile on her face. Her hand came to rest on her throat. She now understood why people hate being intubated. Ethan picked up a glass of water from the side and held the straw to her lips. Casey took a few sips of the ice cold water. “Thanks. So...How long have I been sedated?" She glanced around, trying to figure out the time of day. It’s light dark- that’s all she was able to gather. 

"Two days," He replied as he rested a hand on her cheek as the other gently ran through her hair.  “How are you feeling? Truthfully.” 

Casey looked up to him, quickly meeting his eyes. It wasn’t often that Ethan was this affectionate to her. “My throat is a bit tender," she mumbled, Casey moved so her cheek was pressing more firmly against his hand, melting into his touch. “I’m just really tired.” 

Ethan nodded in understanding. “We only lowered the propofol a couple hours ago so that’s probably why. Just try and get some rest.”

It was safe to say that Casey was terrified. She understood everything Ethan had told her although it was still a lot to try and process in a short amount of time too. She was anxious about the possible complications she could have in recovery. 

Casey turned back to him when she felt his hand come to rest on her arm, “I’m here, Casey. Everything is going to be fine.” 

She was certain her heart just swelled. It really wasn’t often that Ethan was so affectionate and gentle but she was scared and he knew that- he’s scared too although he’d never openly admit that to anyone. 

Ethan collapsed the rail of the bed and slid in next to her, carefully pulling her close so her head was resting on his chest.  "I'm right here Case," Ethan said gently, "You're safe."

Both of them understood all too well the gravity of her injury. A brain bleed wasn’t something that people just recover from overnight. The couple just laid in each other's arms for sometime, grateful that Casey would recover and that she hadn’t suffered a different fate like many people with head injuries sadly too often do. 

"Ethan," She whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too, Casey."

 ______

Here’s a medical lowdown! I used a lot of terms in this fic and I don’t wanna confuse anyone

I’ve got an 18 going in the left AC-  The nurse is referring to the needle size. An 18 gauge needle is one of the largest needles. It’s good for giving fluids/ meds/ blood quickly. AC is the vein in the bend of your elbow. 

“No fever”- Since Casey has no fever it pretty much rules out Meningitis. 

A stroke?- Casey is young which means the chance of her having a stroke isn’t that likely, however, it’s possible. Because they’ve ruled out meningitis they could combine the symptoms and come to the conclusion that it’s a brain bleed. A hemorrhagic stroke could absolutely be why someone is having symptoms of a bleed. 

Casey opens her eyes, whimpering, and tries but fails to push his hand away - So we measure somebody’s level of consciousness by how many points they get out of 15 using the Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS). It’s calculated by how someone responds and other factors that play into this. The way Casey reacts shows that she’s aware that she’s in pain and where the pain is localized (ie: The back of her head). 

(I would put Casey’s GCS at around 9 her which really isn’t good!.) 

“There’s a hematoma ”- So now they know it’s trauma and not an illness. 

Ethan tells them to roll her carefully. This is because if someone has a head injury we always suspect they have a spinal injury too. This is because if you’re able to hit your head so hard to cause a potential bleed on the brain, you could’ve also hurt your C-spine. This is also why Ethan requests a C-collar (neckbrace). It’s just a precaution until a spinal injury can be 100% ruled out. 

Bilateral breath sounds-  After somebody has been intubated You have to check that the tube is in the right place (aka not in one of your lungs). Bilateral just means that there are even breath sounds on both sides. 

BVM- Bag Valve Mask. 

Sterile line- In most, If not all hospitals, there is a line painted on the floor before you enter an OR. You have to be really, really sterile to go in. 

“I’m gonna pass out” - Now, this isn’t uncommon when you’ve seen something happen to anyone, normally a loved one, but there’s a technical reason why this happens. 

When someone experiences something triggering (like someone drilling into your girlfriend’s skull) The vagus nerve will send signals to slow your heart rate and blood pressure but sometimes your body will do this too well. Basically Ethan’s body is trying to chill him out too much. His brain just isn’t getting quite enough blood which makes him feel faint. 

SBT - SBT means short breathing tests. Doctors use this when we’re trying to take someone off a ventilator or just to see if they can breathe on their own. The ventilator is turned off to see if the person can breathe adequately without being aided or not. 

 (People on ventilators aren't something I see all that much so my knowledge is fairly limited in all of this.) 

Post- op EEG-  

Post-op= Post operation. 

EEG= Electroencephalogram. This tests the electrical activity in your brain. They are most commonly used in people with epilepsy or to just detect seizures in general. 

Electrodes are stuck to your scalp (like a heart monitor) but for your brain instead. 

When someone is unconscious, Like Casey, It’s used to make sure that you’re not braindead or having subclinical seizures. This means that the person is having seizure activity but they’re not outwardly showing that they’re having a seizure. 

_

Ethan mentions that Casey is an ideal candidate for a full recovery. This is simply because Casey is young. The older the person is who suffers an injury like this, the mortality rate gets higher. It just means that she’s likely to recover. This isn’t always decided by age though. Lots of factors are taken into account. 

Bucking the vent- This can happen because the settings on the ventilator may not be correct or in this case it’s because Casey is awake. It basically just means that she’s fighting against it. 

Ethan gave her shoulder a light pinch- Again this is painful stimuli. This is called a trap squeeze because you’re squeezing the Trapezius muscle. This is painful and won’t leave a mark like a sternal rub can do. 

Tube tamer is just the thing that secures the tube in place. 

Ethan reaches for a syringe and she relaxes- Basically there’s a balloon-type thing at the bottom of an intubation tube that creates a seal. You need to deflate this before you remove the tube. (Ethan referred to it as ‘the cuff’) 

Aura- Not a spiritual one. This is simply what the feeling you get before a seizure is called. based on what Bryce had told him about her behaviour before her seizure, Ethan concludes this is what was happening.

[smileyoongle]

Come Back Home (A Kim Taehyung Mafia AU) // Part 2

Since so many of you wanted this, I just had to write it. Can't keep my readers waiting so here it is. Part Two. And I'll definitely be writing more parts to this. Consider it a series. Let's get it!

Summary: You were dead. Or at least that's what Kim Taehyung thought. But love never dies. A myth, yes. And maybe that's why when he finds out that you are alive, he may have already lost you.

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung×Reader

This was another curve ball that life had decided to throw in Taehyung's way. And so far, this was the most unpleasant one. Being a mafia boss, Taehyung had dealt with all kinds of obstacles. He had been threatened, he had been shot, he had been betrayed, he had almost been caught by the police but none of it compared to what he was dealing with, currently.

Hoseok wrapped up all his medical instruments and stood up, frowning at you in sympathy. You were finally asleep after struggling and resisting with whatever energy you had left. It was mainly due to the benzodiazepine running through your veins but you were asleep, that's the only thing that mattered.

With a defeated sigh, he left the room to inform Taehyung who was eagerly waiting to see you.

Taehyung would have been in the room with you if you weren't scared of him. Surprisingly, Taehyung was the one you were scared of the most. You kept screaming at him to leave you alone, as if he was the one who tortured you.

"She's asleep for now." Hoseok announced, watching as Taehyung jolted up on hearing his voice.

With a curt nod, Taehyung rushed towards the room, not being able to wait anymore. The love of his life had come back to him, what else was he gonna do?

As soon as Taehyung wrapped his fingers around the doorknob, Hoseok stopped him by taking hold of his arm. Taehyung frowned and looked down at Hoseok's hand, wondering why he was being held back.

"There's something we need to talk about first." Hoseok mumbled, unable to look into taehyung's eyes. He already knew how red and puffy Taehyung's eyes must be because of all the crying he had done. But Hoseok couldn't bring himself to see the brokenness in them. He couldn't see his younger brother so damaged.

"What is it?" Taehyung asked, his tone holding the weight of an impatient man. Without a word, Hoseok dragged him back to the couch, making him sit on it as he sat in front of him.

The others stared at Hoseok with a curious look, trying to come up with different reasons for the upcoming conversation.

"She has been brainwashed...."

Taehyung's eyes stayed the same, not reacting to hoseok's words because he already knew this. You didn't remember him, for godsake. You didn't remember that one guy who loved you and gave you all he had.

"....beyond repair."

Now that made Taehyung's breath hitch. His heart was in his throat and all hope that he had for you to remember him had been shattered. There had to be someway. What was he gonna do?

"There has to something we can do, right?" Jimin asked, making Hoseok glance at him. Hoseok sighed and rubbed his forehead before answering the question.

"We need to know what Castillo did to her. I can't say anything until then."

Taehyung sat unmoving, his fists clenching and unclenching as he thought about all the possibilities of you having any memory of him. All he knew was that he had little to no hope left but he couldn't give up. Not yet. Not after he had got you back.

"Fine. Let's go talk to him."

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

"Finally here to kill me, huh?" A gruff voice filled the warehouse as Taehyung stepped inside along with the rest of the members. His eyes turned stone cold and he glared at the beaten man with a ferocious intensity.

Castillo was standing with his hands chained up to the ceiling, his clothes torn and bloody along with his skin which was splattered with his own blood. This wasn't a surprising sight for anyone who knew Kim Taehyung, things could have been worse. If anything, Castillo was being shown mercy.

"Oh trust me. You don't know the things that I have planned for you." Taehyung stated, the emotionless void in his voice was spine tingling.

Castillo chuckled, spitting blood on the floor before glancing at Taehyung with challenging eyes.

"Go on. Ask me what I did to her. I might tell you."

Taehyung gritted his teeth and prepared to lunge at him, only to be held back by his gang members.

Yoongi stepped in front of Taehyung, walking towards the tied up man with slow steps.

"Tell us what you did and we might spare you." He said, tilting his head with a threatening gaze.

Another breathy laugh escaped Castillo's mouth as he shook his head.

"We all know that's not gonna happen so I'll just tell you...."

Taehyung stopped struggling as the others dropped their hold on him, their attention turning to the man who was gonna die very soon.

"I drugged her....."

Taehyung clenched his jaw, trying his hardest to keep his temper in check.

"...again and again..."

His breathing became erratic as the others glanced at him, knowing very well what was gonna happen.

"...and I tortured her. I stuck needles in her arm. I carved her soft skin with a butcher knife. I starved her. Her screams were so delightful and sweet. Made me wanna keep hurting her. And you know what I told her?"

Taehyung took a step forward, ready to throw himself at the disgusting man in front of him.

"I told her that you asked me to hurt her. I told her that you wanted her dead."

A sharp punch landed on Castillo's jaw, blood spewing out of his mouth and dripping down his chin. Everyone stood calmly as they let Taehyung do what he wanted to do. His yells and curses rang through the room followed by Castillo's horrifying screams of pain. He deserved it.

He deserved it all.

"Now I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bring in my hounds who are gonna feast on you. Alive and Breathing. And I'll stand outside to listen to your screams. Won't that be so delightful?"

Taehyung grinned maliciously before landing a final punch to Castillo's cheek and turning around to leave. He informed the guards to bring in his hounds and let them feed on the pathetic man's flesh.

"But don't let him die. Take them away before he stops breathing and fucking burn him alive."

The guards gulped and nodded, knowing better than to not listen to Kim Taehyung. As they all sat in the car, the show begin and Castillo's screams could be heard from outside the warehouse.

Taehyung smirked in satisfaction as a tear slipped down his cheek. He had taken his revenge for you. He had made sure to bring your kidnapper as much pain as you had endured. Unfortunately, you didn't remember anything enough to appreciate Taehyung. He loved you with his everything and all he wanted was for you to remember something. Anything.

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

"She needs to be around someone she remembers." Hoseok stated, placing a hand on Taehyung's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.

"And she remembers none of us."

Taehyung clasped his hands in front of him, staring at the floor as he drowned in his own spiral of thoughts. He couldn't even begin to fathom how his life had gone so wrong.

If only he hadn't left you alone in the club that night...

"Who does she remember then?" Namjoon asked, wracking his brain for anyone who knew you before you met Taehyung. Taehyung's eyes widened momentarily before he sat up straight.

"Yoona..."

Hoseok nodded and stood up, glancing at everyone with a knowing look.

"Y/N kept calling her name before falling asleep. She remembers her. We need to call Yoona."

"But-but Yoona hates us. She'll probably do something to make sure that Y/N never remembers Taehyung!" Jungkook protested, staring at Hoseok in disbelief.

Hoseok frowned sadly and looked at Taehyung, finding the younger male looking very distracted.

"It's Taehyung's call." Jin announced, waiting for Taehyung to give a verdict.

Ignoring everyone, Taehyung stood up and walked to your room, quietly entering it and closing the door behind him.

You were still asleep.

A number of bandages covered your body as your chest rose and fell rhythmically. It broke Taehyung to see you like this, knowing it was all because of him. But at least he hadn't lost you completely.

He could hear everyone's murmurs from the living room, catching bits of their conversation. Cautiously, he sat down beside you and gently held your hand in his, bringing the back of it to his lips.

He softly kissed it and rubbed circles onto it with his thumb, taking his time to look at you properly. He still couldn't believe the fact that you were here, in front of him. That he was breathing the same air as you.

But moreover, he couldn't believe that you didn't know him. That all the happy times spent beside him, had been erased from your mind.

And the thought of sending you away to live with Yoona was killing him.

Because Jungkook was right.

Yoona had been your best friend and you used to live with her before Taehyung saw you. Yoona also ran a gang but she kept that a secret from you, kept you in the dark until one day Taehyung kidnapped you. But he didn't mean you any harm. He took care of you very well. All he wanted was for Yoona to pay back all the debts that her brother owed to Taehyung.

Her brother, Minho, had been relentlessly borrowing money and drugs from Taehyung's dealers, only paying back with empty promises. It had become important to get back the money since Taehyung's reputation as a mafia leader was at stake. He didn't let people get away with things like these anyway. So why must that one guy be treated any differently?

He kept you with him as leverage, promising you that he'd let you go back as soon as Yoona paid him back. And the day came very soon.

It was a rather memorable day since you refused to go back with Yoona. Because she had lied to you. She never told you what she did, playing around with you like you were a fool. Yoona was mad at Taehyung and she blamed him for all this. She begged for your forgiveness but you had already made up your mind.

But that wasn't all.

You had also inevitably fallen for Kim Taehyung. You had accepted all his flaws and you had decided to stand by him, as long as you were kept out of his work. Unfortunately, things went wrong one day and Taehyung failed to protect you.

"Will you ever remember me?" Taehyung whispered to you, caressing your hair and taking in their softness. You were so strong for having gone through everything, only to come out alive. Taehyung was proud of you. Very proud of you.

He kissed your head and stood up, letting go of your hand as he headed out of the room. Despite everything going on, he believed in the love you both shared. He believed that someday you would truly come back home to him. He was willing to wait all his life, if that's what it took.

"Call Yoona. Tell her everything."

Taglist: @min-t-posts @annoyinglyunabashedangel @bringitseijoh @kpopgirlbtssvt @unppleased @shadowstark @bangtanniexxx

Just tagging people who I thought would want to read this. Let me know if you wanna be tagged though. Or removed from the taglist. Anything works!

-XX

[sue0227]

Simarkus headcanon

human au, angst, hurt/comfort,

past Josh/Simon, minor character death

Warning: suicide attempt

——————————

Simon was a quiet and timid person who had secretly came out of closet during his college time. The one who gave him the courage to do so and always supported him was his friend Josh who later became his boyfriend.

However Simon was bad at showing his feelings and he didn't really let anyone into his heart, which made his relationship with Josh a bit uncertain.

After graduating from college, Simon found a job as an accountant working in a big company in New York just as what his parents wanted him to do even though what he truly wanted was to become a doctor. And Josh found the job he loved and became a high school history teacher.

Josh was bisexual and this didn't help with his relationship with Simon. In fact it did cause many misunderstanding and quarrels between them two.

It was during a trip on Christmas when they figured that they loved each other yet they never revealed their true feelings to each other.

Josh's mother came to town to visit Josh and tried to introduce him a girl as his future wife. Simon got frustrated because he knew how traditional and conservative Josh's family was. To comfort him, Josh reassured Simon that he would never marry that girl and then he told Simon that he loved him. Simon, though surprised and hesitated, felt beyond happy and more than willing to accept Josh as his real partner.

They didn't tell their family because they knew their parents would never approve it and even worse Josh thought his parents would be furious and disown him. Josh loved his family and he would never want to disconnect with his family. While Simon also decided it was not wise to tell his parents about his sex orientation, he revealed his relationship with Josh only to his older brother Daniel who was the only one in the family that knew about Simon's secret. Daniel was happy for Simon finding someone he loved yet he doubted Josh was reliable for him being bisexual. He also concerned about their future for they definitely would go through some hard times though he didn't want to burden Simon so he didn't reveal any of his concerns to Simon.

Everything went quite well after that until Simon grew tired and started to hate his current job and decided to quit for a change. He had been taking medical courses and got qualifications. Simon then got an internship opportunity from a hospital in Detroit. He decided to take it. It would be a brand new phase of his life. Besides, Simon finally could escape to somewhere far away from his parents and away from their control. He and Josh also would be more free and relaxed without worrying their parents suddenly dropping by.

However Josh hesitated and showed reluctance when Simon told Josh his decision. Josh thought he had already settled his life here and he didn't want a change while Simon thought his life here was nothing but like in prison and he could no longer take it anymore. Josh was surprised Simon would feel that way and he felt disappointed even betrayed when Simon told him about his plans in Detroit. Josh felt hurt and a little angry that Simon didn't even talk with him before making such a big decision. He thought Simon cared about their future yet he didn't. Simon argued that it was because he cared about their future that he made such a decision, which would be better for them to leave and live their own life without their parents' scrutiny. Josh quarreled with him and said he was too selfish. Simon went too far and said Josh was the selfish one who only thought about getting married with someone his family deemed suitable and living with his family without caring what Simon would want. They didn't mean to hurt each other yet both ended up being disappointed and heartbroken.

For two weeks, they didn't contact or meet with each other. Simon had made up his mind to go to Detroit but he decided to have a talk with Josh before he left. He called Josh and left his message hoping Josh would see it. Maybe they can settle things down, maybe they can make a long-distance relationship work, or maybe... But sometimes there were never that many maybes in life.

Simon learned later that day on the news that there was a gun shooting incident on Josh's high school and he was among the victims. Simon went to Josh's funeral and had a mental breakdown after it. Simon blamed himself for not telling Josh about his real feelings and thoughts. He tortured himself for saying something that he didn't really mean to. And he couldn't bear that he would never have “that talk” with Josh and he would never have the“future” with Josh.

Daniel tried to help him but it didn't work. He had no other choice and decided maybe it was the best to let family to help him. Daniel told everything to their parents who was shocked to learn that one of their sons was gay but overall very worried about Simon. Their mother showed her support and comforted Simon and it indeed helped a lot.

However Simon still found it very hard to live in New York because everything he saw and everywhere he went reminded him of Josh. Simon now had the reason to leave and his family accepted his decision.

Simon tried to be as positive as he could and worked very hard to become a real doctor. But his past always haunted him and never let him go. He broke down again after losing one young patient a year after he came to that hospital in Detroit.

Simon was then advised to take a break for himself and to take a less intense and low-pressure job. Simon chose to take the job as a caretaker. Although he found the peace and comfort in this job by taking care of sick children and elder people, he still lived in shadows and hid his pain deep down in his heart. He looked normal, being a gentle and considerate caretaker, yet he never revealed his true feelings and thoughts especially his past to anyone.

It seemed like Simon just went back to the time when he didn't come out and always hid his true self worrying someone would find it out. He felt like he was barely surviving rather than living his life. And he didn't know how long he could hold before everything crumbled completely.

---

Markus was an art consultant working for a company in Detroit. He was often busy and traveled a lot to make deals for artwork. He also tried to become an artist and develop his own style of art.

Markus' father Carl had been unconscious abed for years and he always was taken care of by caretakers that Markus' brother Leo employed. It was after an equipment failure and caretaker's negligence, which nearly killed Carl, that Markus considered quitting his job and taking care of his father at home.

But his company didn't want to lose Markus because he was really good at his work and losing him would be a great loss for the company. Markus had no other choice but trying to find another caretaker looking after Carl when he was busy on his paintings or had to go out for business. A young man named Simon Clemens was introduced to him by the agency staff over the phone and Markus decided to try one last time and if this one turned out to be inadequate for the job, he would quit his job and stay at home taking care of Carl himself.

Markus got a call from his company for an emergency matter that needed him to go out for a business trip in the morning of the day Simon first came to his house. He only had the time to introduce his name to Simon and then just left everything for Simon to deal with, though this short encounter with Simon did leave a deep impression on Markus as Simon understood the situation really quick and reassured Markus not to worry anything.

Markus found himself fully trusting him. He guessed that was because of the young man's gentle, soothing voice, and his tone was very genuine, making people want to believe him. Markus had to admit that he was a very attractive young man who had soft golden hair and a pair of amazingly beautiful blue eyes. He looked friendly and trustworthy. Long after this Markus realized that at that time he probably grew affction on Simon at the first sight and he himself even didn't notice it.

Markus introduced himself properly and got to know about Simon after he came back home from that business trip two days later. It turned out that Simon took good care of Carl and the house, making sure that everything was in order.

They didn't have much interaction at first until one day Markus was finishing his new painting in the studio and found that Simon was standing by the doorway and looking him working quietly. It startled Markus a little bit but he wasn't really angry. Simon apologized that he didn't mean to intrude and Markus said he really didn't mind, which led to a small talk between them two.

Over the next few days, their routine had become to tending their own matters first and then finding time to talk to each other. They talked many things, from the songs they liked to their views on some lastest news.

Simon was a very good listener, yet he seemed not very keen on talking too much about himself. Markus learned that Simon was a doctor before he changed his job. When Markus asked why he did it, Simon only said he just needed a change of the pace in his life. But Markus noticed there was something different in his tone and his eyes. It was like he was unwilling to talk about his past and only did it for being polite. It made the atmosphere a little awkward and strange and Markus had to change the subject.

In the next few months, Markus had made sure their little chat staying safely in some unharmful topics such as the weather, Carl's condition and any new good movies in the theatre. He didn't want Simon to think that he wanted to pry although he did wonder what Simon had been through in his past.

They had grown comfortable to each other's presence and Markus felt fairly okay when Simon watched him painting. They didn't really speak to each other during this process but the atmosphere was cozy and peaceful. And Simon would give his thoughts about the painting when Markus finished or whenever he needed advice. Simon said he actually didn't know much about art while Markus found some of his thoughts brilliant and inspiring. He told Simon that he didn't have to become an artist to express his thoughts and Markus would always welcome him to share whatever he was thinking if he was willing to. Simon only smiled and said nothing. Again, Markus noticed the hidden sadness in Simon's eyes.

Markus thought he began to love living like this, and also, he found he fell in love with Simon.

It took a while but Markus had told Simon about his feelings and hoped the other one had the same feeling for him too. While Simon was surprised but happy to know about Markus' feelings to him, he seemed hesitated and unsure about accepting Markus. Markus tried to ask him what was the problem but Simon only said he needed time to think about it. The heaviness in his tone and the sadness in his eyes bewildered Markus and also made him worried.

The next day Simon had a talk with Markus and accepted him as his boyfriend. Although Markus was happy to hear it, he still notice that there was still hidden hesitation and sadness in Simon's eyes. Markus felt there must be something more about it, something he didn't know but clearly was haunting Simon. he wondered if that had anything to do with Simon's past and asked Simon if it would be better to just tell him. But Simon grew really defensive and refused to tell Markus. Their conversation ended up with Simon apologizing and leaving the house without any other words.

The day after that Simon called and asked to take a few days leave. Although he said it had nothing to do with Markus and he would be back in three or four days, Markus still felt it was his fault to startle Simon so much that he escaped. Still Markus found it hurt that Simon was so reluctant to tell him about his past. It was almost like Markus wasn't trustworthy. Although Markus knew Simon didn't do it on purpose, he still felt that Simon was so distant, sometimes even like a stranger.

Markus really wanted to figure out what is it that hid behind those beautiful yet sad eyes. He decided to have a talk with Simon after he came back. But before Simon came back, Carl' condition had suddenly taken a turn for the worse and Markus had to call the ambulance to take Carl to hospital. Doctor told him that Carl needed to be hospitalized for monitoring just in case though there was nothing to be worried. Relieved, Markus remembered to call Simon and ask when would he come back also he really needed a little comfort from hearing Simon's gentle and soothing voice. But Simon sounded really upset even depressed when answered Markus' call, it was also like he was holding back tears. Markus tried to ask what happened but Simon only said it was nothing and he would be back tomorrow.

Confused and worried as Markus was, he still waited for a day and decided to have a talk with Simon when he came back. But Simon didn't show up the next day. Markus tried to call him but only being tansferred to the voice mail. Markus thought about his call with Simon yesterday and had a very bad feeling. He went to Simon's house trying to talk to him only to find that Simon had cut his wrist open and soaked himself in water in the bathtub.

Simon was rushed into hospital. Luckily, Markus had found him in time. Though losing a lot of blood, Simon survived.

Markus was at a loss and didn't know what to do. Two people he cared the most in this world was both in hospital and he didn't even know what on earth happened to one of them.

It was when Markus stayed and waited for Simon to wake up that he met with Simon's older brother Daniel who thanked Markus for saving his brother.

Markus tried to ask Daniel if he knew what happened to Simon but Daniel only said it was not his place to tell Simon's story, though he did tell Markus that Simon was trapped in his past and he just needed time to figure it out. Daniel made it clear that it wouldn't be easy and Markus needed to end this relationship if he couldn't stay with Simon because he didn't want his brother to suffer anymore.

Markus maybe at loss at the moment but he was sure about one thing that he wanted to stay with Simon and help him go through whatever he had been through for this long time. And he was more than willing to listen to Simon's story if he decided to tell but would also fully understand it if Simon chose not talk about it.

Markus would take care of Simon no matter what because he loved Simon. He didn't know how Simon was feeling about him but he had never been so sure about his feelings and he wanted to try his best to offer Simon whatever he could offer.

Simon woke up and began to recover physically but he obviously needed more help to heal mentally. Markus told his decision to Simon and said he would be there whenever he needed him no matter what had happened or would happen because what he felt about Simon wouldn't change.

Holding back tears, Simon finally decided to tell Markus all about his past, about Josh, how they fell in love with each other but then drifted away, why would he change job and move, how he felt when he was at Josh's funeral and what happened when he went back to visit Josh's grave on his death day. Josh's mother blamed Simon for Josh's death after she knew what had happened between them. Markus found it rediculous to make Simon take all the blame but Simon said he was indeed always guilty about Josh's death. What he did after coming back was acting on impulse when he wasn't thinking clearly. All these time he had been barely holding on and what Josh's mother said was the last straw.

Simon apologized for being foolish and making Markus and his brother worried so much. Markus said it was not his fault, everyone had a breaking point where they couldn't take it anymore. Although resorting suicide was too extreme and radical, he couldn't blame Simon for doing it. He had suffered enough and it was time to let other people, let Markus to help him.

Daniel left after Simon discharged from the hospital. He also talked to Markus saying that what Markus had said to Simon was what he wanted to hear but he also wanted to see him fullfill his promise.

And Markus was going to keep his words.

It truly took them a long time but they finally made it. There were indeed times when Markus thought it was going to end but they pulled it through together. It helped them a lot when Simon was willing to open his heart and share his thoughts with Markus and Markus always respected Simon and never pushed Simon when he didn't want to share anything that was too hard for him to tell.

Carl had miraculously woke up and Markus thought that was one of the two best things ever happening to him —— the other one was having Simon in his life. Carl had helped Simon a lot and they seemed to form a father-son bond.

Simon tried to go back to the hospital and become a doctor again as his condition improved and Markus was there supporting him. Simon gradually made peace with his past and Markus was always there helping him.

Markus also quit his job and concentrated on his artwork. His work were beginning to attract attention and earn fame. But what made Markus happiest was that Simon loved to watch him paint and was willing express his thoughts about his drawings and sometimes Simon would blush when he realized that Markus had drawn another portrait of him. That was the moment that Markus wanted to hug and kiss Simon.

And it came to the day that Simon decided to propose to Markus but in Markus' defense, it was he who wanted to ask first.

——————

This headcanon was actually very short at the beginning as I just wanted some hurt/comfort Simarkus and never intended to expand the story into this length. I love to make Simon and Daniel brothers who would support each other through hard times so I did it in this headcanon. And as usual, I'm terrible at writing fluff and sweet stories so I hope I manage to do the "comfort" part in this one. Thanks for reading～～