#what he actually said
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reread the first 3 volumes of berserk (aka the black swordsman arc) today and started Really paying attention to guts this time and my takeaway is that he is TERRIFIED way more often than i thought. like puck mentions fear in the mix of emotions he's sensing from him but he is truly wide eyed quivering princessmoding his way through a lot of this ordeal
#could not resist the urge to call him princess i don't know where it came from and i just know he'd hate it. and yet#like the first times (2) i read thru black swordsman the anger and sorrow were kinda the things i got the most but really stopping to think#about the fear and what's causing it and where it's coming from has been so deliciously upsetting. so sorry bestie <3#god. when he first sees griffith-as-femto he's absolutely furious but when he first speaks guts' reaction is just like. desperate#idk if im remembering this wrong since i've only read thru the eclipse once but doesn't griffith not speak at all once he's femto in that?#so theoretically this'd be the first time he heard griffith's voice in a LONG time. so no wonder it kinda fucked him up. not to mention#what he actually said#(unless they met again in the meantime and i just haven't gotten far enough for that to be depicted/mentioned :p)#berserk#guts berserk#yes i read that even knowing that our copies of the next like 12 volumes are with someone in another state#no im not sure if i'll just read them online or something in the meantime#i swear i really want to actually catch up and not just read the same bits over and over i swear but for various reasons it has not happene#and also berserk just kinda hits that harder than most things for me. i need to rake through it over and over and sometimes that means#putting things into chunks. it also means my analysis is very limited so eh grain of salt
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If you've ever told a person who's had to be bedbound for a period of time that you wish you could "just stay in bed", DO IT.
Stay in bed. For days. But don't get up if someone needs you to, or you get bored, or you get antsy. Don't do anything other than rest. Just lie in your bed, whether you need to get stuff done around the house or socialize or anything else "productive". You'll have to cancel on people, you'll disappoint them, they won't understand.
And if you're thinking, "well, i CAN'T just be in bed. There's stuff that has to be done - I have plans", maybe ask yourself why you assumed a disabled person doesn't have plans or things to do or desires.
#Disability#Bedbound#Housebound#Actually disabled#Chronic illness#Long covid#Chronic fatigue#Inspired by my boss asking what I did over the weekend and I said I couldn't get out of bed and he said that sounds nice actually#I'm literally only able to work bc I am in bed at all times I'm not at work and it's still so hard and painful#I can't get my own groceries or cook my own meals or socialize or eat at restaurants or go to movies or take care of my own pets#If I didn't have a loving generous caring spouse I'd be dead by now
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tou-san said “boy, you’d better werk”. anyway, please watch kinou nani tabeta
#he said: is being gay a JOKE to you????#actual japanese is: そん���中途半端な気持ちで同性愛をやっているのか#a little like are you gonna ‘do this gay thing’ so halfheartedly???#which i think expresses how very out of touch and unfamiliar his parents are with what their son is - they still see his#orientiation as an ‘activity’/something he chooses to do#rewatching this thanks to @calcifershearts influence#kinou nani tabeta#yoshinaga fumi#autoplay warning#lgbt#*r
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Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
#i hope i didn't sound rude btw i am saying this respectfully and this is directed to the ones who push these hcs as canon#if you have your own theories and know abt aroace stereotypes but are respectful abt it this is not for you keep scrolling#i actually think showing jinx (who has been dehumanized by the fandom A LOT) in a romantic relationship is good for her character#and viktor letting himself be free and loving what he considered imperfections thanks to jayce at the end c'monnn they need to make love#tired of disabled characters being treated as babies and always hc them as aroace let them fuck#this being said i am aware there are more terms inside aroace etc etc etc and there are more ways of considering them aroace etc etc etc#this is NOT about that it's about being aware of how 'mmm it's the vibes!' argument does NOT work when it's stereotypes#it's like saying 'wow this robotic character is giving me autistic vibes idk why' LIKE CMON NOW WEFNEWLFNL YOU KNOW WHY#please don't cancel me i am giving my humble opinion as someone aroaspec#at the end of the day you can do whatever the fuck you want tbh#i'm not the shipping police here#arcane#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#jayvik#timebomb
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the high guards littlest fan
#bumblebee#b 127#soundwave#shockwave#transformers one#transformers#the high guard#i think its really funny that this iteration of bee doesnt really care about being small#like tfa bee gets all mad and aggro about it but b127 is just like 'cos u guys a bigger than me! u know what i mean u know what i mean'#i do think hed be like “why didnt i grow 😧” after everyone gets their cogs though LOOOL#funfact bee WITH a cog is only like a bit taller than d16 WITHOUT a cog#dee is like so huge though#keegan michael key said that his fave transformer is soundwave#and he actually improved the voice he does when bee says his nickname off of soundwaves voice#and that he really like shis voice#so of course im making bee soundwave fan number 1
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my favorite fields of mistria boys 🥰
#fom#fields of mistria#march#balor#art#fanart#not much to tag tbh#i do like march too but balor still takes the cake for me#i know i said that other one was my last fanart but i wanted to doodle march he looks easy to draw#and then balor happened too i cant help it#i just restarted the game im taking it slower this time#i really wish the dragonguard heist plan didnt fall through#cuz i wouldve loved to have isa just go try and grab balors keys#hehe#anyway march is canonically jacked right#not as much as his brother but he has the arms right#appearently balors eyes are brown but i have no idea what color marchs eyes are supposed to be#they just look black#love that the children are always on about balor being so mysterious#so real let me join the dragonguards#the amazing thing to me about balor is that i just did not give a shit about him in the promo art up until i met him in-game#like i saw him in the promos and was like cool whatever ill probably go for march...until i actually met him
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being at a restaurant because of a blind date set up from a friend but the thing is you don't remember his name, or what he looks like- did she even tell you what he looks like?
you quietly sit there, fingers tapping a restless rhythm on the polished mahogany tabletop, your wine glass stained red with tonight's indulgence, stands as empty as your stomach. just when you're about to wave a hand to your waiter, a massive brute of a man crashes into the chair across from you with so much force that you can hear the wood groan under his bulk.
he settles into it, unhurried, as if he wasn't 20 minutes late, his worn leather jacket creaking as he does before leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table, and the silver wear rattles with the impact.
then he looks at you with an unsettling intensity, irises so dark they blend into the pupils and asks if you've been waiting long.
you've a mind to leave him there but you're hungry- starved, really- and he's going to cover the check so you might as well stay and get your free dinner. "doesn't matter now, does it?"
you shoot a quick text to your friend, telling her that he- simon- is here and slip your phone back in your bag, not reading the messages she sends back until the morning after, when your head pounds in rhythm with your sex.
who's simon?
#how he got here isn't important#it's the fact that he saw a PYT all by their lonesome and he said yoink#i'd say it's serendipitous#and he'd have no problem strong arming your actual date out the door#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#tbh the real prompt was him knowing what was happening#and decided you're better off with your pussy in *his* mouth#big ass bear of a man only knows how to take ok its in his DNA
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I'm not sure exactly why this year is so much worse than normal (I waited a long time to start putting the celery up, but that's a different problem), but I am struggling so much with what to do with all our celery. I have processed maybe a third of it, (ignoring the leaf celery in the backyard), and I've already got more than enough for half the winter in stalks, as well as 8 bags of greens (I figure 20 will be plenty).
My husband suggested I look for unlocked cars and slip them into the back seats. Which, if you think about it, is easy to do this time of year. The zucchini plants are dead. No one's defending against random garden produce!
#what he actually said#was that I should leave the celery beside the bodhrans#but I figure that's not that well-known a joke#so I should maybe translate the essence of it
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etho figured it out
#etho’s cut of this interaction is required viewing bc what the hell was that man#i am not exaggerating for comedic effect those are all things he actually said#my art#wlsmp#wild life smp#ethoslab#scott smajor#zombiecleo
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Bills attempt of manipulating Stan via Alex Hirsch
Alex talking about scrapped idea of Bill attempting to make a deal with Stan^^^
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#stanley pines#grunkle stan#gravity falls comic con#Alex is so funny#the way he just perfecting did this on stage is crazy#I’m so tired bro#fun fact I actually was so focused on thsi I forgot to do a discussion post due today#oops#ft mini ford#Alex said he was trapped in the perpetual motion machine but idk what that would be so he’s just kinda in there#I wanted him to be seen and nightmares make it so that obvious solutions just aren’t possible so#it’s okay if it doesn’t make sense
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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
#writeblr#i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat#and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity#1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did#i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her#and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT#briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing
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I bet on losing dogs
#inspired by a tweet that said 'do you think this is when he realized his little girl has the same weight on her shoulders'#'do you think this is when he realized she never had the chance to be his little girl'#what if i ended it all actually#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo's bizzare adventure fanart#jjba art#jjba#jjba fanart#jjba jotaro#jotaro kujo#kujo jotaro#jjba jolyne#jojo jolyne#jolyne kujo#jolyne cujoh#jolyne fanart#jojo jotaro#jotaro fanart#jojo's bizarre adventure stone ocean#stone ocean#jjba stone ocean#jjba part 6#dadtaro#art#my art
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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