#what have i done wrong

[promisesbutnevertokeep]

you ever get yelled at for nothing? and then you try to explain yourself but you feel that lump in your throat when you try to open your mouth and suddenly your eyes are welling up and your vision gets blurry?

no? okay.

[windermeresimblr]

gpoy

[sparklingstarr-tv]

Whattt the fucking hell

Here i am going crazy, surviving in this hell house just to get some stuff done..I am making multiple calls to you, explaining you and then this one other person makes one call to you and you are all sweet to them and you agree to what i have been asking you to do for dayyss

I am here dying in this heat, been anxious for dayss about this and you don't fucking care

Suchh cheaters, liars, greedy shitty people

[sunnylolli]

A list of unfortunate events that has happened to me within one (1) week and a half:

- I saw something I shall not detail because it's traumatic as hell

- My friends give me the flu

- I cough up b/00d and freak out just to find out it's normal

- Migrains

- PERIOD that apparently CAUSED the migrains

- Cramps

- Pink eye...... Because of the flu

[noahsworld96]

lmao a terf just followed me, not gonna block them YET so they can freak out when they find out i'm nonbinary

[bluebellhairpin]

Why can't I have a man so hopelessly and pathetically in love with me as Ewan McGregor's character is with Nicole Kidman's character in Moulin Rouge.

[mooninagust]

alright, I'll just be my own best friend ig :")

[oct0lightsquare]

Hey guys so I actually tried to go to sleep tonight at a reasonable “pm” time, but my body decided that the best course of action after having a weird-ass dream was to wake me up at 3:30am in the morning to the most nauseating shits in human history.

[hinamie]

I'll rip in hands and teeth and take a bite

[coldmilkshakearcade]

WHY AM I GETTING EVIL BOOPED

[silently--here]

Why the fuck do I follow some tags on tumblr and go great ok I'm now following those tags and then later that day I'm scrolling through my dash and it's like 'tags you visited 'follow' ' and I'm like I'm supposed to already be following them so I click follow again but for literal days after I'm still having to click follow every time I come across the tags because tumblr keeps unfollowing me from them

[promisesbutnevertokeep]

You ever just want to stop living?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[ochiody]

timedive concepts so far

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[canisalbus]

I swapped them around in a silly doodle

.