#what has to happen for him to give up these principles? For him to fight when he didn’t even try to save his own life?

[ellenchain]

kissing the trauma away

[freakinator]

if kab wanted a clown replacement hannah is perfectly capable of (and would possibly be even happy with) fulfilling that role idk why she seems to be going after zam who she didnt even have positive rapport with before the yap yesterday

[zorosangell]

zoro and his girl who are always bickering and fighting and breaking up and getting back together again. atp, the other straw hats are used to it now. I can also imagine zoro NEVER apologizes and his idea of getting back together with his girl again is just acting like buisness as usual (just going back to her and sitting with her, throwing his arm around her shoulder, kissin her cheek, acting like nothing ever happened, etc) and usually, she’s receptive to it. Because even though she’s as stubborn as zoro (maybe even more), she hates arguing (and loves him too much).

but imagine during one of their arguments, Nami drags her out to go shopping at a island they stopped by, and she sees all these happy couples holding hands and being affectionate and just being sweet and soft with each other. she realizes…zoro is never sweet and soft with her. and he NEVER says I’m sorry (I imagine maybe she sees an arguing couple in the market, but the guy comes with flowers and an apology and it makes her wonder). She makes up her mind, she won’t take him back until he says those words, no matter what. I know this isn’t so descriptive, but I’d love to see you take on this! ❤️

⛥ﾟ・。 pit

synopsis: time and time again zoro has forgotten about your outings, leaving you dressed up and alone on several occasions. but after nami witnesses it in person, she finally puts her foot down... and you finally confront your swordsman.

cw: angst, very little comfort, happy-ish ending (left up for interpretation), zoro's kind of an asshole, nami's a girl's girl, reader is better than me.

a/n: listen to promise by laufey or casual by chappell roan if you want the full experience. i've never written a trifling zoro before this was crazy

"Why don't you stop wasting my time and give me a real discount?" Nami asked, firmly slamming her fist on the counter.

"Please don't be angry! I'm doing my best!" the cashier apologized, "But, c'mon, I can't take fifty percent off no matter how much you buy. They're marked down enough already!"

The man looked to be on the brink of tears, and you couldn't help but snicker.

"Nami, leave the poor man alone..." you smiled, feeling a little bad for him, "He's just doing his job. And besides, it's not like you can't afford it."

"Nope," she denied, popping the p as she grabbed another humongous pile of clothes. "It's the principle of the matter, (y/n). If I have the option to pay for something half-off, why would I pay full price?"

"They're not half-off!"

"Besides..." her gaze drifted to your outfit, a small pout settling on her lips as she looked you up and down with saddened eyes. "I can see that you are clearly trying to out-glam me, so I gotta glam back!"

She turned to the cashier, placing down the new pile.

"You drive a hard bargain. I'll buy these, too. But I want ninety percent off."

The man nearly fainted and you laughed, surprised by Nami's playful rivalry.

"Nami, you've owned more clothes than I've ever worn. I think it's safe to say that between the two of us, you're the one that's out-glamming me," you assured, resting your cheek in your palm as you leaned on the counter.

"But look at you!" she playfully whined. "Your outfit is killer! And your hair is on point, too!"

Though, just as quick as she examined your outfit, she realized that it was really good.

Too good to be shopping in.

"Wait, (y/n), were you supposed to be going somewhere? Why are y—"

The moment your face fell, the glimmer in your eyes dimming at the memory, reality finally donned on the navigator, hitting her like a sea train at top speed.

He did it again.

Anger rushed through the woman's veins like wildfire, her face not even attempting to conceal her fury as it twisted into an expression of absolute rage.

You knew it all too well.

"Nami, ple—" "I'll KILL HIM!"

The clothes on the counter were suddenly a thing of the past as the red-haired woman drew her Clima-Takt and stormed toward the exit of the boutique, the dangerous aura she was emanating sending a shiver down even your spine.

Like magnets, everything began to click for the woman.

The beautiful outfit.

The done-up hair.

The glum look on your face.

'That bastard stood her up again!'

That's why you had been wandering around town aimlessly.

You were waiting for him.

This scenario had become commonplace over the past several months you and the green-haired swordsman had been dating, much to Nami's severe indignation.

It was always the same.

You and Zoro would plan a date.

Zoro would get caught up training, or get caught up drinking, or just plain, old fucking forget.

You would end up alone, having gone through all the trouble and embarrassment.

She would have to console you, and you would have to keep her from bashing his head in.

Then you'd have to face the jerk the next day, who, instead of apologizing, simply acted like nothing ever happened.

As if the entire ship see how utterly crushed you were.

And then the whole cycle would repeat the following week.

Nami was sick of it.

'This shit ends today.'

"Nami, please! It's not worth it!" you ran out the store and after her, grabbing onto her arm. "It's not gonna change anything!"

"The hell it isn't!" she barked, brows cinched tightly together. "(y/n), I won't stand for this anymore! This is what?! The twentieth time?!"

"Twenty-third... but I'm not counting..." you corrected, meekly.

"(Y/N)!"

"I know! I know!" you sighed, plopping yourself down on the curb, defeated. "I don't know what's wrong with me..."

"There's nothing wrong with you! There's something wrong with him not realizing just how much of a fucking catch you are!" she groaned, exasperatedly, as she threw her hands in the air. "Twenty-three times, that bastard... I oughta chip his swords twenty-three times."

"I guess... I just don't get why..." you mumbled, looking down at your lap with glassy eyes. "Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?"

Nami turned to you, heart aching at your saddened form.

"Don't think that for another second!" she denied, quickly moving to take a seat next to you, pulling you into a small side hug. "You've done absolutely nothing to deserve this. Zoro's just being a real jackass."

"But there has to be some reason," you attempted to rationalize, tone rising. "Does he not care? Am I just that insignificant that he can't even waste an hour or two to spend time with me? His girlfriend?"

"That's what I've been saying!" Nami agreed, loudly, calling the attention of some passersby. "(y/n), you've given him chance after chance after chance, and he still hasn't cleaned up his act."

She gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, flashing you a sincere smile.

"I'm not saying you have to break up with him, unless that's what you want to do, but I'm saying that you really need to realize just how amazing you are, and hold him accountable for his actions."

Shooting up from her seat, she stood before you, pointing a manicured finger at your chest.

"You're the prize, girl! You're strong, smart, kind, compassionate, and drop-dead gorgeous! What guy wouldn't want that!" she turned to a few of the men passing by, a smile on her face. "Right?"

"YES!" they cheered, eagerly.

Your face burned with embarrassment.

"Nami!"

"You get my point!" she laughed, resting her hand on her hip. "You deserve someone who will treat you like the princess you are. Whether that's Zoro or not is up to you, but know that his track record begs to differ..."

Taking a moment, you let her words sink in, your confidence rising slowly but surely.

Maybe you were that great...

Maybe you did deserve more...

Maybe it was time to start anew...

"Y'know what... you're right! It's time for a change!" you smiled, slowly standing up from the curb. "No more tears!"

"Nope!" Nami cheered, proudly.

"No more excuses!"

"None of 'em!"

"No more pretending!"

"Not around here!"

"From now on, I'm gonna start living life for me! And if that means going out clubbing tonight and getting drunk to forget my problems, then so be it!"

"Y'know what, I'll take it! Let's go!" Nami squealed, the two of you quickly charging back into the boutique.

You couldn't fight off your smile, your shoulders feeling like an insurmountable weight had been lifted off them.

For the first time in a while, things didn't seem so bleak.

"Ooo, I think I saw the perfect revenge dress for you, (y/n)! It's gorgeous!"

Walking out of the girls' quarters, you felt like a million bucks—and were probably wearing it too with the amount of money you and Nami spent in town.

But price be damned, the result was phenomenal.

The provocative dress.

The decadent perfume.

The glittering jewelry.

The leg-extending heels.

You were absolutely breath-taking.

Not to say that you weren't before, but just significantly more so.

The dress itself was just the right amount of short, and helped carve out your curves deliciously.

Your hair was done courtesy of the ship's archaeologist, its style elegant yet loose to fit the club scene you were going to.

And your skin was practically glowing thanks to the oils Nami had picked up in the market.

So, it was safe to say you were at least a quadruple threat.

Looking down at yourself, you smiled, feeling like the prettiest woman in the world.

No longer concerned with the feelings of others, or the wrong-doings of yourself, you felt freer than you'd ever had.

And you had Nami to thank for it all.

'For finally knocking some sense into me...'

Sensing someone's presence, you pulled yourself out of your thoughts, only to see your swordsman standing right before you.

His eyes dragged over your body, almost analytically, a grin rising to his lips.

It seemed he finished his training early...

"Where are you goin' all dressed up?" he smirked, his hand coming up to rest on your hip, pulling you closer. "You look good... an' smell good, too."

Quickly, you pushed yourself out of his grasp, your legs pressing forward to stride across the balcony, leaving the him to stand there, surprised.

You had never pushed him away before, much less ignored him.

'What the hell?'

"What's the matter with you?" Zoro's voice lowered an octave, brows furrowed in confusion as he followed after you.

You didn't answer, keeping your gaze trained ahead as you pressed on, heading toward the stairs that led off the Sunny.

"(y/n)," he tried again, voice slightly firmer, as he grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. "(y/n), what the hell's your problem? Where are you going?"

Harshly, you flung his hand off, brows slowly beginning to crease at his audacity.

He was acting like nothing happened.

Again.

He knew exactly why you were fucking upset, but was making the choice to completely ignore it in favor of acting stupid and playing in your face.

Your jaw set tight, all your thoughts grinding to a screeching halt.

For the first time ever, anger and resentment began to claw at your chest, your hand itching to rise up and slap him right across the cheek.

Enough was enough.

"Don't fuckin' touch me," you spat, voice dripping with venom as you went back to walking. "I don't wanna see you right now."

"See me?" his brows furrowed as his finger pointed toward his chest, now even more confused. "The hell did I do?!"

Or maybe he was just fucking stupid...

Either way, you finally cracked.

"IT'S WHAT YOU DON'T DO, ZORO!" you roared, whipping back around to face him, the man flinching at your volume. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN WHAT YOU DON'T DO!"

The leak in the dam of your heart had finally turned into a full-on flood, and you were now outpouring months upon months upon months of pent up anger.

"You stand me up! You forget our dates! You make it abundantly clear that you would much rather spend the day nursing a sake bottle than with me!" you scoffed, throwing an exasperated hand in the air. "Do you even remember what we were supposed to do today?!"

The swordsman paused a moment, scouring his brain for recollection of the event.

"Hey, Zo'," you piped up from your spot in the corner, shutting the book Robin had loaned you. "I'm gettin' kinda hungry. You wanna grab lunch?"

He nodded, grinding out another squat as he lowered his knees to a ninety-degree angle, somehow perfectly controlling the two ton weight on his back.

"Yeah, you go on ahead," he grunted, holding the position. "I'll catch up. Gonna finish up this set."

"'Kay," you nodded, flashing him an eager smile. "I'll meet you at that sushi place we saw in town."

Zoro's eye shot wide, a sudden sense of dread sinking in his stomach as he finally remembered.

"Oh, shit..."

"Yeah... Oh, shit," you scoffed, turning to head off the ship. "I'm done with this..."

"Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute," he grabbed your arm once again, pulling you back. "(y/n), it was an accident... I didn't mean it."

"How the hell am I supposed to know that?! You never fucking apologize!" you yelled, jerking sharply away from his grasp. "At least that way it could seem like you're at least trying to pretend you care about me!"

"Of course, I care about you, (y/n)!"

"YOU CERTAINLY DON'T ACT LIKE IT!" your voice cracked.

He halted, expression falling and chest tugging with pain as a few stray tears fell down your cheeks.

You were hurting... bad.

And it was all his fault.

All of the times he left you hanging, all of the times he screwed up.

They were all coming back to haunt him, each one doubling the weight of the sinking pit in his stomach.

How could he have not seen?

You had been so patient with him—never raising your voice, never holding a grudge—and he supposed his mind had unconsciously took that as the green-light to proceed.

Granted, he never forgot anything or stood you up out of malice or actual lack of care.

It just... slipped his mind.

Though, in that, he could see where his thinking was flawed, and where you could find a problem.

"Am I... just that forgettable to you?" you asked, voice suddenly small.

Zoro snapped himself out of his thoughts, eye wide at your tone.

It sounded so distant.

"Of course, not, (y/n)," he quickly denied, lurching forward to hold you out of instinct. "I—"

But you stepped back, avoiding his grasp as your arms raised to hug yourself, hoping to keep everything together.

"Every time I look at you, I feel more alone," you continued, letting out a few sniffles. "I'm always, always reaching out to you, always down for whatever you want to do. But you just... never reach back... and you don't even bother to apologize..."

Glancing out at the sunset, you fought off the wobble of your lip, hugging yourself even tighter.

"Zoro... I can't be with someone that doesn't care about me..."

That's when everything suddenly came to a screeching halt.

Zoro felt like the words cut right through his chest, tearing through his heart and opening it up like force hell-bent on making him see.

He'd rarely felt this feeling, but he knew what it was instantly.

Fear.

"(y/n), don't do this," he started, panic slowly spiking in his veins. "I'm sorry for being such an idiot... but we can work this out. This doesn't have to be... it doesn't have to end like this..."

"But it does," you countered, quickly. "It isn't like this is your first time doing this, Zoro... or your third... or your tenth... or even your twentieth."

You scoffed, half-laughing at the situation.

"If I hadn't said anything, you probably would've made it to thirty."

Zoro's chest stung at the comment, the man almost letting out a wince.

It was harsh... but not without truth.

"I'm freeing myself of all of this, Zoro. I deserve better," you stated, firmly, slowly regaining your confidence as you turned away, heading for the stairs. "This conversation is over. And thanks to you, I'm late."

The swordsman looked just about ready to shit his pants, the finality of your words scaring him more than any enemy.

You were his girl.

His best friend.

His ray of sunshine.

Seeing you so upset, so jaded, because of his actions?

He felt like shit.

And, in that moment, he honestly wanted nothing more than to hold you.

To shower you with a thousand apologies.

To make it up to you in any and every way he could possible conceive.

But you were slipping through his fingers like smoke, blowing father and farther away.

"(y/n)... please..." he tried one final time, voice softer than you'd ever heard it before as he carefully grabbed your wrist.

And you nearly broke, the sound of his voice pulling a sharp string on your heart, nearly making you take everything back.

But Nami's words from earlier replayed in your mind, and you fought the feeling, pulling your arm away.

You had to stay strong, for both your sakes.

"We're done, Zoro," you finished, finally descending down the steps. "I'm moving on."

The swordsman watched as you disappeared in front of him, now suddenly feeling as if you were worlds away.

He'd finally done it.

He'd pushed you over the edge.

And rather than feeling angry or upset, or even sorry for himself, he felt empty.

Truly and utterly empty.

The rest of the crew watched from cracked doors and open windows as the man stood there, staring at the place you had once stood like he was in a trance.

Nobody wanted things to turn out this way.

It was clear as day that the both of you loved each other a great deal... but Zoro needed this.

He needed the wake up call.

And now that he was presented with all the necessary truth, he could finally work toward remedying the situation; and, by the will of the Gods, making up his dizzying amount of transgressions against you.

It would be hard work, and for the first time in his life, he would have to be completely vulnerable.

But the crew believed in him.

And the crew believed in you, too.

The both of you would come back from this stronger than ever.

And Zoro would come back to the crow's nest with a calendar hanging front and center on the door.

Courtesy of the ship's navigator.

[eveninglakehomeworld]

hi friends and lovers, I've gathered a small collection of dialogues from Zevran in DA:O regarding Antiva & the Crows.

I got this together mostly for myself, but thought I'd share in case anyone who is maybe looking to flesh out their new Crow OC, write fanfic involving Crow characters, or is looking for a refresher on early Crow lore would like something to reference. I trimmed down dialogues a bit, so mostly just information relevant to the Crows, Antiva in general, and Zevran's own attitudes about being an assassin are present.

this post has dialogues from Zev's recruitment event and a couple of early game camp conversations. because it's only a handful of dialogues, this is, ostensibly, part 1 of several. I plan to post more as I progress through my replay of origins. enjoy! <3

Recruitment

Warden: "What are the Antivan Crows?"

Leliana: I can tell you that. They are an order of assassins out of Antiva. Very powerful, and renowned for always getting the job done... so to speak. Someone went to great expense to hire this man.

Zevran: Quite right. I'm surprised you haven't heard much of the Crows out here. Back where I come from, we're rather infamous.

Warden: "You came all the way from Antiva?"

Zevran: Not precisely. I was in the neighborhood when the offer came. The Crows get around, you see.

[After being asked if he's loyal to Loghain]

Zevran: Beyond that, no, I'm not loyal to him. I was contracted to perform a service.

Warden: "And now that you've failed that service?"

Zevran: Well, that's between Loghain and the Crows. And between the Crows and myself.

Warden: "When were you to see him next?"

Zevran: I wasn't. If I had succeeded, I would have returned home and the Crows would have informed your Loghain of the results... if he didn't already know. If I had failed, I would be dead. Or I should be, at least, as far as the Crows are concerned. No need to see Loghain then.

Warden: "How much were you paid?"

Zevran: I wasn't paid anything. The Crows, however, were paid quite handsomely. Or so I understand. Which does make me about as poor as a chantry mouse, come to think of it. Being an Antivan Crow isn't for the ambitious, to be perfectly honest.

Warden: "Then why are you one?"

Zevran: Well, aside from a distinct lack of ambition, I suppose it's because I wasn't give much of a choice. The Crows bought me young. I was a bargain, too, or so I'm led to believe. But don't let my sad story influence you. The Crows aren't so bad. They keep one well supplied: Wine, women, men. Whatever you happen to fancy. Though, the whole severance package is garbage, let me tell you. If you were considering joining, I'd really think twice about it.

Warden: "Aren't you at least loyal to your employers?"

Zevran: Loyalty is an interesting concept. If you wish, and you're done interrogating me, we can discuss it further.

Warden: "I'm listening. Make it quick."

Zevran: Well, here's the thing. I failed to kill you, so my life is forfeit. That's how it works. If you don't kill me, the Crows will. Thing is, I like living. And you obviously are the sort to give the Crows pause. So let me serve you, instead.

Warden: "And what's to stop you from finishing the job later?"

Zevran: To be completely honest, I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. They bought me on the slave market when I was a child. I think I've paid my worth back to them, plus tenfold. The only way out, however, is to sign up with someone they can't touch. Even if I did kill you now, they might kill me just on the principle of failing the first time. Honestly, I'd rather take my chances with you.

Warden: "Won't they come after you?"

Zevran: Possibly. I happen to know their wily ways, however. I can protect myself, as well as you. Not that you seem to need much help. And if not, well, it's not as if I had many alternatives to start with, is it?

Warden: "Why would I want your service?"

Zevran: Why? Because I am skilled at many things, from fighting to stealth and picking locks. I could also warn you should the Antivan Crows attempt something more... sophisticated... now that my attempts have failed.

A few early game camp conversations

Conversation 1 Warden: "What does it take to become an assassin?"

Zevran: Well, the Crows would have you believe that it is an involved process that takes years of training, the sort that tests both your resolve and your endurance. Survive that process and maybe, just maybe, you're good enough to start being considered one of them. But quite frankly the truth is that all it requires is a desire to kill people for a living. It's surprising how well one can do in such a field.

Warden: "It doesn't take any special skill?"

Zevran: I don't know about that. It's simply a slightly different skill set from your average killer, as I see it. An assassin simply specializes in striking from stealth... and in maximizing that first attack to be as lethal as possible. Debilitating your foe, either by poison or by crippling their limbs, makes any follow-up combat you need to engage in that much simpler.

Warden: "That sounds like it could be useful."

Zevran: See? Getting paid for the act is beside the point. An assassin is more a tactical choice than a lifestyle. Of course, the Crows like to pretend that their abilities are trade secrets, shrouded in shadows and wrapped in a blanket of mystery. So let's just keep this between you and me, shall we, hmm?

Conversation 2 Warden: "Why did you want to leave the Crows, exactly?"

Zevran: Well, now, I imagine that's a very fair question. Being an assassin, after all, is a living, at least as far as such things go. I was simply never given the opportunity to choose another way. So if that choice presents itself, why should I not seize upon it?

Warden: "You didn't choose the Crows?"

Zevran: Mm? To be truthful, I didn't even know the Crows existed when I joined them. I was but a boy of seven when I was purchased. For three sovereigns, I'm told. Which is a good price, considering I was all ribs and bone and didn't know the pommel of a dagger from the pointy end. The Crows buy all their assassins that way. Buy them young, raise them to know nothing else but murder. And if you do poorly in your training, you die.

Warden: "That sounds awful."

Zevran: "Oh, I don't know about that. The Crows who are actually good enough to survive come to enjoy some of the benefits. In Antiva, being a Crow gets you respect. It gets you wealth. It gets you women... and men, or whatever it is you might fancy. But that does mean doing what is expected of you, always. And it means being expendable. It's a cage, if a gilded cage. Pretty, but confining. [note: I transcribed the first line of the last section as it was written in the subtitles because it seemed to make more sense in context, but when Zevran speaks it aloud he actually says "That does not mean doing what is expected of you." presumably an editing error, but can't be 100% positive which is the intended message.]

[After being asked what he thinks his future might hold]

Zevran: As for what I'll do in the future... presuming that there is one... I truly can't imagine. It might be interesting to go into business for myself, for a change. Far away from Antiva, of course. For now, naturally, I go where you go.

Warden: "Won't the Crows eventually find you?"

Zevran: [laughs] Eventually can be a very, very long time if one plays one's cards right. Come, now. Enough chit-chat. Talking about the Crows summons them, you know. Any Antivan fishwife could tell you so.

Conversation 3 Warden: "Do you actually enjoy being an assassin?"

Zevran: And why not? There are many things to enjoy about being a Crow in Antiva. You are respected. You are feared. The authorities go out of their way to overlook your trespasses. Even the rewards are nothing to turn your nose up at. As for the killing part, well... some people simply need assassinating. Or do you disagree?

Warden: "You've never killed an innocent?"

Zevran: Now there's an interesting word, "innocent." How many men do you know who can claim to truly be innocent? But if you're talking generalities, such as children and relatives and bystanders and such... never on purpose, but it happens. It's unfortunate, but death comes to us all. If not me, then some wasting disease. Or a fall down the stairs. Or at the hands of a darkspawn. It's all relative in the end.

Warden: "I suppose that's true."

Zevran: "Death happens," as we like to say. And when I get paid for it, death happens more often. As far as enjoying the act of killing itself, why not? There is a certain artistry to the deed, the pleasure of sinking your blade into their flesh and knowing that their life is in your hands.

Warden: "I know what you mean."

Zevran: There are many things I did not enjoy about being a Crow, of course. Having no choice, being treated as an expendable commodity, the rules... oh, so many rules! But, simply being an assassin? I like it just fine. I will continue to do it, if I can, even if I am not a Crow. Honestly, could you picture me doing something else?

Conversation 4 [note: I trimmed this one down a lot bc it's just one of the ones where he tells you about a job and there's not a lot to be gleaned about Antiva, how the Crows operate, etc] [In response to being asked, "The Crows were willing to anger the Circle of Magi?"]

Zevran: In Antiva, nobody is too important to escape the reach of the Crows. They have killed kings and queens. That's simply how it is.

[After elaborating on how he fumbled an assassination attempt and the mark died accidentally, instead of by his hand]

Zevran: Then I found out she had told the driver to take her to Genellan instead. She has planned to lose me in the provinces. I would have looked very foolish to the Crows. As it was, my master was very impressed that I had done such a fine job of making it look like an accident. The Circle of Magi was unaware of foul play, and everyone was happier all around.

Conversation 5 Warden: "Tell me a little about Antiva."

Zevran: Oh? You wish to know about Antiva, do you? The only way to truly appreciate it would be to go there. It is a warm place, not cold and harsh like this Ferelden. In Antiva it rains often, but the flowers are always in bloom... or so the saying goes.

Warden: "Don't you want to go back?"

Zevran: [sighs] It is not really a matter of wanting to go back. I cannot go. At least not yet. I hail from the glorious Antiva City, home to the royal palace. It is a glittering gem amidst the sand, my Antiva City. Do you come from someplace comparable?

Warden: "I'm not from any glittering gem, no."

Zevran: No? That is too bad. If you were, then surely you would spend as much time boasting about it as I do! Hmm. You know what is most odd? We speak of my homeland, and for all its wine and its dark-haired beauties and the lillo flutes of the minstrels... I miss the leather the most.

Warden: "Is that some kind of euphemism?"

Zevran: [laughs] It may as well be! But not this once, no. I mean the smell. For years I lived in a tiny apartment near Antiva City's leather-making district, in a building where the Crows stored their youngest recruits. Packed in like crates. I grew accustomed to the stench, even though the humans complained of it constantly. To this day the smell of fresh leather is what reminds me most of home more than anything else.

Warden: "That's a little bizarre. There's leather everywhere."

Zevran: Ah, but it's not Antivan leather, is it? I do not know what the Antivan tanners do that is different, but ther is no leather more supple nor more fragrant.

Warden: "You sound like you've been away from home forever."

Zevran: Oh, not so long, I know. It is my first time away from Antiva, however, and the thought of never returning makes me think of it constantly. Before I left, I was tempted to spend what little coin I possessed on leather boots I spotted in a store window. Finest Antivan leather, perfect craftsmanship—ah, but I was a fool to leave them. I thought, "Ah, Zevran, you can buy them when you return as a reward from a job well done." More the fool I, no?

Warden: "Your home is still there, Zevran."

Zevran: True, and it's a comforting thought. One simply never knows what is to come next.

Now, if it is all the same to you, I would prefer not to speak more of Antiva. It makes me wistful and hungry for a proper meal.

Bonus banter snippet because I found it amusing:

Morrigan: You assassin types have a death wish, I see.

Zevran: [laughs] Only the really good ones.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Can you give examples of Aang showing Empathy? Oh wait, you can't.

Actually, I can - because unlike you, I base my opinion of the characters on the actual stuff that happened in the story, not the bad faith takes dumb people on the internet come up with.

Zuko literally only survived past book 1 because Aang was the ONLY person amongst the heroes that gave a single fuck about his well-being. Aang offered to be FRIENDS with him as early as episode 13, even though this dude is trying to kidnap him.

In the first damn episode we see him realize and try to remedy Katara's struggle with no longer being able to act like a kid and have fun. He wants to travel with her so SHE gets to learn waterbending. He willingly lets Zuko take him into his ship because he understood that a conflict could lead to the people of the water tribe getting hurt or killed.

In Warriors of Kyoshi he apologizes to Katara for letting all the praise and admiration go to this head. He makes sure to put out the fires Zuko and his crew started in Suki's village.

He tries to help remedy the Hei-Bai situation, even though he is unsure of himself and even scared, because he knows he is the only one that has any chance of helping - and the thing that allows him to connect with Hei-Bai is the fact that he is ALSO upset about the destruction the Fire Nation has caused AND hopeful that the world would eventually heal.

He thinks Jet is awesome because he wants to help people that are being oppressed by the Fire Nation - and then is horrified when he finds out his intension is to "free" them by killing everyone

He wants to help the two rival groups not only safely cross the Great Divide, but also stop hating each other.

He confesses that he hid the map to Hakoda because Bato, Katara and Sokka are showing how much they appreciate and trust him and he feels unworthy of it after what he did because he knows it'd hurt him if the roles were reversed.

He is so devastated by the fact that he ACCIDENTALLY hurt Katara that he swears to never firebend again. He is also able to recognize the same principle behind his mistake in Zhao's fighting style, allowing him to win the battle against the bastard.

He accepts the fact that the Northern Air Temple is now occupied by people who not only don't belong to his culture but also don't understand it and unknowingly destroyed something sacred to him (and that one of them had been forced to make weapons for the Fire Nation) because these people have nowhere else to go and he doesn't want them to suffer.

He is furious at Pakku for refusing to teach Katara waterbending, because he knows how much it'd mean to her and how unfair it is that she can't learn it just because of her gender.

He is so devastated by the death of the Moon Spirit that the Ocean Spirit latches onto him to avenge it and save the day - and the leve of destruction it causes haunts Aang, even though the violence was against his enemies. And still, he tries to go into the Avatar state again because people are dying and he can't accept that.

After the fall of Omashu, he wants to rescue Bumi, not because he needs a teacher, but because they're friends.

He felt empathy for Toph when she was explaining to her parents how lonely and unappriacted their over-protection made her feel.

He and Katara both feel bad for snapping at Toph during "The Chase" and wanted to apologize for not understanding that being part of a group was a radical change to her, even though she had refused to even try. He also didn't have a problem with fighting alongside Zuko and Iroh against Azula, AND he looked concerned when Iroh was injured.

After Katara comments on the fact he called Toph Sifu but not her, he calls her Sifu while bowing, to show that he respects her both as his master and friend.

The hopelessness and downright depression he was feeling after Appa was stolen only starts healing because he saw a couple being happy with their newborn baby - the same couple he decided to help cross the Serpent's Pass, even though he and his friends had just been allowed to take a much safer route to Ba Sing Se.

His understanding and sympathy towards Jet, even after everything the guy did, was so strong that it freed him from literal brainwashing.

He doesn't want to push his love for Katara aside to gain power because he cares about her too much - and then does it anyway because, even though not making her his main focus 24/7 offers the risk of her being hurt, him neglecting his mission guarantees she'll get hurt.

He is devastated to learn that the world thinks he is dead because he knows he was everyone's last hope - and yet in the end he still accepts the burden of failure because he understood that, at that moment, everyone would be safer if no one else knew he was still alive.

He goes to a Fire Nation school and bonds with the kids, wanting to give them a taste of freedom and joy, as well as trying to understand what the war is like from their perspective. The same episode also has him pull Katara for a dance because he noticed she was feeling left out.

The boy felt empathy for, and understood the mistakes of, both Ruko and Sozin. SOZIN. Aang could see the humanity in the monster that is responsible for him losing his entire culture and everyone he loved.

When Zuko spoke about wanting to control his impulses so he wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone, Aang explicitly connected with that struggle and saw them being teacher and student as fate, and Zuko agreed because that's how deep their connection was.

Aang is not happy about Katara wanting to murder a man, but he still lets her take Appa on her mission and is not disapproving when she ultimately spares the guy but does not forgive him and makes it clear she never will.

He feels empathy for freaking Ozai, to the point that refuses to kill the guy - even as he has the balls to say that Aang's family, his people, deserved to die. He spared that guy - but only after he had a way to do that without it meaning the death of more innocents. Aang, the pacifist, was going to turn his back on everything he believed in just to avoid more human suffering.

So yeah, miss me with your bullshit and don't come back until your brain is developed enough to understand a cartoon aimed at kindergarterners.

[sanjiafterhours]

Favourite pre-timeskip Sanji moments

These are a few of my favourite pre ts sanji moments

(1) Baratie arc when sanji served fresh food for don krieg despite everyone telling him that krieg was notorious for betraying people. Sanji still served the food because of his value of "feeding the hungry no matter what"

(2) Sweet sanji preparing bentos for Luffy vivi and a special drink for Vivi's duck karoo so they can go explore the little garden island. Also packing and tying the lunches for the kids (luffy and karoo) by himself

(3) water 7 Sanji following his principle of "never waste food" while fighting CP7's ramen guy wanze (who had a full ramen armour and sanji cut his armour up and served the ramens all in different plates around the kitchen)

(4) thriller bark Sanji holding an unconscious nami up so she won't get injured while he takes all the hits from Absalom He's not just a simp, he genuinely cares for nami

(5) water 7 Sanji smoking a cigarette while spying and finding out sensitive government information

(6) Post enies lobby filler sanji crying throwing up stressing over finding out the right spices of a fried rice. He is a true chef at heart and has so much love for his craft

(7) post skypiea filler G-8 arc sanji when someone says he is better than all of the navy chefs and sanji cutely offers to give his recipes to them. He is so cute kind and humble

(8) sabaody sanji kicking the Celestial dragon knowing what'll happen and not giving a fuck anyway

(9) skypiea sanji being all big smiles and happy while showing conis the bento he has arranged for her and telling them how arranging food is an art (look at the little winged angel he put there as a representation for conis who has wings)

(10) Sanji leaving a message for nami in water 7, even in the dire situation they were in (usopp left, robin was abducted, they were all accused of murder) sanji being his usual cute loser self

[ghostofhyuck]

Nct Dream and why you two broke up. 

Mark Lee ; too busy

OBVIOUSLY. Mark probably wants a stable relationship with you but he can't due to his career being his number one priority. He'll be too busy that he couldn't make time for you. He has apologized to you countless times, promising you that he'll make up to you but because you're tired of waiting around, you broke up with him. 

Huang Renjun ; falling out of love

It's a hard decision. One day, you two are madly in love with each other but then the next day, you two are strangers living under the same roof. You tried to convinced yourself that you still love Renjun but it's obvious that you two have fallen out of love. Renjun acknowledges it first, and you two ends it without any conflict. It's just not meant to be. 

Lee Jeno ; misunderstandings 

Your relationship ended with a misunderstanding. You tried to clear it up but the communication between you and Jeno isn't working. You two happened to interpret it in a different way rather than accepting what's the truth. It's no use and you tried to explain it a hundred times and so did Jeno, but it seems like both of you wanted to stick to your truths, that's why rather than fixing it, you two broke up. 

Lee Donghyuck ; suffocating relationship

Donghyuck became too much. He's high maintenance and you're just not the type to be overbearing over someone. He became clingy and reliant to you which is the thing you don't like the most. You love him but his love became suffocating to you that you felt lost in the relationship, that's why you broke up with him. 

Na Jaemin ; a huge fight

It was a huge fight that ended up hurting you two. No one wanted to apologize and no one wanted to hear the other person's side. Both of you were prideful and for once, doesn't want to give way for the other. Weeks of cooling off turned into a months of not talking, and then you two just decided from there, you two are no longer together. 

Zhong Chenle ; different perspectives in life

You thought that opposites attract. But you were wrong, you and Chenle have different thoughts about the future. Your principles never aligned and it was hard to adjust for each other. You two agreed that both of you don't see their future with each other, that's why you two broke up. It was a mutual agreement and you two decided to be just friends. 

Park Jisung ; immature love

You two are young and inexperienced. it has a lot of ups and downs, that's why it was hard to continue your relationship. You two often break up and go back together until it becomes tiring. Both of you realized that it was too early to enter a relationship, that's why you two decided to just end it completely and focus first on yourself. 

part two.

[kisskiss-slashslash]

Slashers chasing a short victim and mistaking them for a child and the victim gets salty about it

Love your works!

Awww thank you!

Slashers mistaking a short victim for a child

Jason Voorhees

You run, your legs already aching from the strain, and finally find yourself at a dead end. You turn around to face the behemoth chasing you. But once he sees you like that, Jason lowers his weapon and begins to walk off.

Confusion clouds your mind for a moment, so you find yourself calling after him. "Uhm, weren't you going to kill me just now?"

He turns around and signs:"I don't kill kids."

Now it's anger that makes you reckless. "What the... I'm not a kid! Come on, I know I'm short but not *that* short!"

He gives you another thoughtful look, shrugs and walks off, not quite believing you.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent does not kill children on principle, so he has been purposefully avoiding you. Which made you think it was okay to go on the attack. But when you finally confront him, a hunting knife from the weapon shop in hand, he just patronisingly pats your head and tries to take it out of your hand. That's when you realize what is going on.

"I am NOT a child, you know. Why do people keep mistaking me for a kid?!"

His one good eye widens.

"You know what", you tell him. "Forget about it. I'm outta here."

Unfortunately, the knowledge that you are not in fact a child puts you back into the "target" category. So you might wanna run.

Freddy Krueger

It is kinda hard to tell if he really mistakes you for a child, or just pretends to because he knows it makes you mad. But he does talk to you like you are one, and that alone is infuriating enough. But your fury only makes him laugh.

Brahms Heelshire

"How can another kid be my nanny?", he asks through the phone, on the first night of you taking the job. His voice is that of a child, you can't even tell it is a grown man just faking a little boy's voice.

"You see, Brahms", you begin, trying to fight down the frustration that boils up in you every time you are mistaken for a kid. "Adults come in all shapes in sizes, and I happen to be on the short end of the spectrum. But that doesn't mean I am not an adult. Okay?"

Silence on the other end. Then:"Okay. I guess."

Bubba Sawyer

You let out a loud "FUCK" while you try to evade Bubba, and he stops, and waves his raised index finger in front of your face, as if to tell you that someone your (appearant) age shouldn't be speaking like this.

You smack his hand aside. "I'm a *fucking* adult, I talk however I *fucking* want. And why would you *fucking* care anyway?"

An adult? But you're so small? He looks at you with a tilted head and visible confusion on his face.

[tr4gictea]

Smoker Trail [Aizawa+Smoker!Teen!Reader]

❥Masterlist

Tags: Underage smoking, angst to comfort, implied domestic abuse, Dadzawa

Including: Shota Aizawa, mention of Katsuki Bakugo

word count: 1.3k words

A/n: Im really getting into MHA rn and I will be doing a lot of that now so if you have any request for My Hero, send a request pleaseeee. Enjoy <3

You were standing on the rooftop of the U.A. dorms, leaning against the railing with a lit cigarette between your fingers. You blew out smoke into the night air blissfully unaware of your surroundings. The rest of the class was asleep in their rooms, none would be awake to see you. Suddenly the roof door opens, mid inhale, to reveal your teacher, Mr. Aizawa. You quickly flick the cigarette off the roof and cough the smoke into your jacket.

He turns towards you, “Y/n? Kid, what are you doing up so late?” he says raising an eyebrow.

Fuck, he has awful timing. You were scared by his sudden appearance that the smoke got caught in your throat. “Hi Mr. Aizawa, cough, I was just-, coUGH-, out here for uh, breather, COUGH, COUGH.” You wave him over, trying to play it off as if you just needed some space. But the residual smoke in your lungs made it hard to breathe.

He sighed, shaking his head disappointed. He’s seen this happen before, too many times with students to believe your words. He walks closer to you, still keeping a distance from you.

“Don’t give me that ‘breath of fresh air crap’. Why are you out here? Really?”

“I told you I came out here for some quiet,” You tried to redirect the conversation, “Bakugo was yelling at me for what happened this morning during training.” You say rolling your eyes at the memory. You recall the scruffy blonde yelling at you after a training incident. You were told to destroy your assigned training dummies. But that objective went out the window when you decided to use a new special move you came up with and accidentally knocked out all of yours and Bakugo’smachines in one go.

“Trust me if I didn't take a breather out here, we would be in Principle Nezu's office right now for fighting and property damage,” you said chuckling.

He sighed, looking back at you. "I'm sorry to hear that. Bakugo is hotheaded and I’ll talk to him about it afterward.. But you're not supposed to be out here. It's 1:56 am and you have to get up early in the morning for school."

“Yeah I know, well I should be heading to bed then…” This conversation has gone on for more than you would like, so it's time for you to roll up outta here! “Well, goodnight Mr. Aizawa I will see you in class tomorrow!” You start walking towards the door to leave, “I hope you have a good night and-”

Aizawa stops you by your shoulder, preventing you from leaving. “Hold it kid, you can't pull crap like that on me. Sit back down.” He says gesturing to a metal box next to him

Shit.

You sit your ass back down. You didn’t need to look up at his face to know that he was less than displeased with you. His eyes were practically burning into your head. You haven't seen this side of Aizawa before, and it was scary.

“Now, give me the pack.” he holds his hand out in front of you.

“What do you mean? Mr. Aizawa I-” You try to defend yourself but he cut you off not letting you speak.

“Stop talking hand them over.” You're caught, and you know it. “You're on thin ice kid,”

You fumble threw your pocket trying to find the box, you just finished the pack that night so you weren't worried about losing it. But what did make you worried was the look on Mr. Aizawa's disappointed glare was bad enough as you placed the red box into your teacher's hand.

He takes the box in his hand and places it in his pocket. He moves to lean back on the railing as he looks at you. “Y/n, you know we don’t tolerate this stuff here. I understand training can be tough but you can’t be pulling crap like this.”

“I know,” I say lowering my gaze.

“How long were you even out here?” He questions.

I recall the actions that led me here in my head: Well, I came out here after Bakugo and I had a screaming match, and that was at 10 I think… “Since 10 probably,”

“10...” He groaned and rubbed his nose. “Okay, okay, how do you get your hands on these?”

“I found them..” You lie through your teeth.

“You found them? Hm, you just found cigarettes lying around?” He questions unconvinced by your answer. “Seriously Y/n you’re not gonna get into any more trouble by being honest with me right now. Spill.”

“Well… I'm not lying, I did find them.” You admit shifting uncomfortably in your seat, “They're from my family... they leave the packs lying around and I just steal them when they're not looking.”

Aizawa was beginning to get rather annoyed. He was tired, as were most of the staff, and finding a student on the roof smoking was just the cherry on top. “You know that smoking on campus grounds is punishable by expulsion?” He stated, crossing his arms. A look of fear shot into your eyes. Expulsion?! "And if said family found out you were expelled for this, where would that leave you?"

“I…” you take a moment to think about how angry your father would be if he found out. You don't know what would be worse: if he found out about the stolen cigarettes or the fact that they got you expelled from the top hero school. “Well, I don’t know…”

“You don’t know…” He sounded angry, maybe a little concerned. An awkward silence fell over the two of you until Aizawa spoke again. “Listen, kid, your lucky it was me who found you. Any other teacher would have reported you on the spot. But, I for one, don’t think its fair for a student’s future to fall apart after one mistake. So, I'm giving you one chance to get clean.”

You look up at him with hopeful eyes, “Really?”

“Yeah, you’ve got potential as a hero and a good heart. I’d hate to see it go down the drain. You got one chance to do better or I won't help you the next time you get caught.” After a brief moment of silence, he speaks up again.

“You’ve got a good head on your shoulders kid, use it.”

By this time tears have been threatening to spill from your eyes. You have been feeling so many emotions at one time. You can’t help yourself as you dive to hug Mr. Aizawa.

He jumps a little, taken aback by the sudden affection. “T-thank you Mr. Aizawa,” You're now sobbing into his black shirt as relief washes over you.

He places one arm around you and the other on your head, gently patting it. “Don’t mention it kid..” You both just stay like that for a little bit, him holding you while petting your head. Whilst you calm yourself down. You pull yourself away from the hug wiping your tears, “Seriously though, don’t mention it. This could get both of us kicked out of U.A.” His tone turned more serious.

You let out a little giggle at the sudden change in tone, “Of course Sensei.”

He hums in response, “Tonight I expect you to hand me over any extra pack of these,” he says while tapping the cigarette box in his pocket, “And tomorrow we are going to recovery girl to help heal some of the damage done to your lungs. She owes me a favor so she’ll be discrete about it.”

You nod, “And from now on you have to be on your best behavior and not lie to me anymore, alright?”

“Yes, Sensei,”

“Alright, get back to your room and hand me over any extra packs, and then go to bed. You’ve already lost enough sleep as it is.”

More MHA/BHNA Stories *ੈ✩‧₊˚

https://www.tumblr.com/tr4gictea/756555235100704768/masterlist?source=share

More Aizawa Stories ೃ⁀➷ https://www.tumblr.com/tr4gictea/766187185887215616/class-1a-extras?source=share

I would like to apologize to you guys because links are not working at all for me right now and I'm trying to fix whatever is going on. The best I can do for right now is just regular links. Again so sorry for the trouble. 🙏

REMEMBER TO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON, OBLITERATE THAT FOLLOW BUTTON AND, REQUEST FOR A SHOUT-OUT IN MY NEXT VIDEO 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

[linkspooky]

Megumi Will Start the Merger Theory

You heard me. I know this sounds wild and out of left field, but it's just a theory. A Jujutsu Kaisen theory. I fully acknowledge it might not happen, but please stick around long enough for me to argue why I think Megumi's character may go in this direction.

This one is for all the Megumi corruption arc truthers out there. I came up with this theory when it became clear that saving Megumi from Sukuna's grasp was going to be more difficult than just giving him a motivational speech, or punching Sukuna until their souls separated. Furthermore, I believe that Jujutsu Kaisen's manga won't end with the defeat of Sukuna. There will be one more curve ball thrown at us by Gege in the late game, and this is me trying to anticipate the pitch before the baseball hits me in the face. Underneath the cut I will speculate on the direction that Gege may take Megumi's arc, the relationship between Sukuna and Megumi, and Yuji's role in the finale.

What is a Corruption Arc?

Before digging in too deep I want to explain what I mean when I say I'm a Megumi corruption arc truther. A character arc is a story arc in regards to a character where a character changes from beginning to end. That's the most basic definition, arcs can be more complex, some arcs are actually inversions of the standard character arc where a character is defined by his lack of change.

However, those still need some element change, sometimes characters around them change to show contrast. For example, Eren is a stagnant character from beginning to end in Attack on Titan, but characters like Mikasa, Armin, Jean all grow up to show by comparison how little Eren has grown. Sometimes circumstances change around a character, and their lack of growth is a failure to adapt to those circumstances.

A character arc requires a change, but it's not necessarily a positive change. Often called negative character development, these characters regress instead of grow. This happens in many ways. One of the most basic examples of a character arc is a want / need arc. A want / need arc shows an emotional hole in the protagonist's life that needs repairing and how resolving the plot allows them to fill that hole. The protagonist usually knows what they need, but they know what they want, and often what they want won't actually fix them.

For example if I'm feeling sad I want to eat donuts to lift my mood, but what I need to do is learn healthier ways to work through my negative emotions. A character who keeps pursuing what they want, instead of realizing what they need won't grow, that's negative character development.

That's just one example though, Gege gave us a blueprint for a corruption arc in Hidden Inventory.

In Yu Yu Hakusho the character Sensui (directly cited by Gege as his inspiration for Geto in an interview) once was a spirit detective like the protagonist. No one describes him as corrupt from the beginning, in fact he's constantly described as more pure and upstanding than delinquent Yusuke Urameshi who likes getting into fights. He has a strong sense of justice, but rigid black and white views that come with it. Once he's confronted with evidence that directly contradicts his demons bad, humans good paradigm he cannot cope, and the narrative all but states Sensui's purity traditionally a good trait corrupted him because of his inability to adapt and his rigidity in in his beliefs.

Sensui goes through a corruption arc, albeit one offscreen and mainly referred to in backstory.

Geto's happens onscreen in its own story arc where he is one of two main characters. Much like Sensui he's presented to us as a sorcerer like Gojo, but unlike Gojo he believes sorcerers are obligated by duty to protect non-sorcerers who have no way of fighting against curses. You could argue that in some ways Geto and Gojo are the same type of jerk, but Geto's principles are clearly set up to contrast Gojo who at that age only was a sorcerer to flex his abilities. Geto's friendship often has him lecturing Gojo about respecting others, paying special attention to Gojo's feelings in ways that other characters don't, and also not being afraid to clash with Gojo over differences in morals.

If Geto is corrupt from the beginning there's no arc there, so he's clearly set up as being the moral fiber to contrast Gojo. We are literally presented with a scene where Gojo admits he could kill the non-sorcerers who hired a bounty hunter to assasinate Riko and feel nothing, and relies on Geto to make a moral judgement in his place, that society will already punish them and their slaughter is pointless.

The irony is that later, Geto will engage in pointless slaughter killing an entire town in retribution for their abuse of Nanako and Mimiko. When Gojo confronts him about his actions, Gojo cites the same reasoning that Geto provided him to stop him from killing the cult members.

That Geto's murder of innocent civilians is pointless, because it won't achieve anything - his world of sorcerers is out of reach. Geto's clearly positioned as Gojo's moral tether, because he cites Geto's statement of only killing when there's meaning to it right back at him.

This is also where the corruption part of his corruption arc comes in, a change has taken place here. Geto hypocritically contradicts his earlier words, not just engaging in meaningless slaughter but also punishing people with his own hands instead of letting the justice systems in place take care of the punishments. Two things he held Gojo back from doing, only to do himself post corruption arc.

You could cite many things as the reason for Geto's corruption arc, but the common theme shared with Sensui is resistance to change. Geto saw the world in two distinct categories strong / weak, the same way Sensui saw humans good / demons bad. When Geto is shown that weak people are capable of bonding together to oppress strong people (the cult) and that sorcerers despite having strength are on the losing end of their society (they are expected to risk their lives and toil endlessly for curses 99% of the population can't even see), he cannot cope.

He especially cannot cope with the reality that Rika's death showed him, that he is not strong as he once believed. All of this combined leads Geto to double down, still seeing strong and weak as separate categories but now blaming normal citizens for the inherent corruption inside the Jujutsu World. Notice how Gojo a character with positive development seeks to reform from inside the Jujutsu World instead.

Geto also still wants to think of himself in the strong category, rather than facing the feelings that Riko's death and his helplessness in that moment gave him, as well as Gojo pulling he instead decides to double down on the idea that he's in the strong category, that he's superior.

Geto even remarks jealousy at Gojo's godlike power for the first time, when before this he's always been the only person to treat Gojo as an equal - because Geto doubling down on his superiority complex begins imagining himself above others and therefore untouchable by trauma. It's also a grab for agency, because in this world sorcerers are rather agenciless, forced to be cogs in an unfair system. Geto incorrectly assumes agency = power. If he possessed Gojo's power he would be able to grab his agency back (which is simply incorrect because Gojo is one of the most agenciless characters in the manga, defined by his rigid role as the lynchpin of society).

Geto also doesn't mature. A mature adult lives in the world, and accepts that the world is imperfect. Geto is remarked as childish, first by Shoko when they are smoking together "sulking because no one understands you... sounds awfully childish if you ask me", and then by Yuta "You think you're a god? You sound like a kid!"

So we have, refusal to grow up, refusal to adapt to a complex world, resistance to grief, and grabbing for agency and power instead of fixing an issue inside himself - all of these combine to make the Jenga Tower that is Geto Suguru collapse.

The central question of Geto's arc, spoken by Gojo to Yaga is "Is it possible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved?"

If Geto refuses all help, refuses to admit that he's wrong, and does not want to change then what really can Gojo do in this situation? Was he right to give up? Did he give up too early, refusing to kill Geto but also spending ten years just ignoring the problem until Geto attacked in Jujutsu Kaisen Zero? Did it not matter what Gojo did because ultimately Geto's choices are his own?

There's no clear answer, because it's a question the author is asking the audience to ponder. It's also a question directly set up for Megumi to answer, because when Gojo is unable to do a thing for Geto we see his next action is to seek out Megumi. His words imply that he sees Megumi in Geto and advises him not to be left behind, he also clearly became a teacher in order to not let what happened between him and Geto repeat in the next generation.

In spit of Gojo's best intentions, he's not able to protect Megumi from any of Sukuna's designs toward him, or basically anything that happens in post Shibuya's. Simply raising Megumi to be strong, did not prevent him from suffering trauma in his youth on Geto's level.

There's even a deliberate parallel, they both witness the death of an innocent who they promised to protect (Tsumiki, Riko Amanai) and they both have had their body taken from them, Geto's corpse is turned into a literal puppet to help advance Kenjaku's plans, Sukuna steals Megumi's body in order to revive himself in the modern era. They're both even used as tools against Gojo, Kenjaku uses Geto's body to awaken memories in Gojo and complete the sealing. Sukuna uses Mahoraga to learn the world splitting slash that cuts through Gojo's defenses.

Megumi also has a set of values that society spits in the face of. Megumi wishes to selfishly protect his sister, and pick and choose who to save. Geto believes the strong are obligated to protect the weak. Geto sees weak people who are corrupt and not worthy of his protection and also the reality that sorcerers are the exploited class, Megumi is forced to kill Tsumiki with his own hands.

These are intentional narrative parallels to show the risk of Megumi may walk the same path as Geto, especially since Megumi is in many ways a pure child like Geto himself.

Dark Phoenix Arc

There's one more corruption arc I want to compare Megumi's too, to give some idea of where I expect Megumi's arc to lead.

The Dark Phoenix Saga commonly refers to the story in Uncanny X-Men #129 - 138 of Jean Grey’s corruption by the power of the Phoenix and the Hellfire Club. It was considered incredibly shocking for its time. One thing to note is while Jean Grey is famous nowadays, in early X-Men she was the weakest character and her role was basically limited to “The Woman” of the team.

Elevating the helpless damsel woman to the most powerful member of the team, if not the entire universe and then having her turn evil had never been done before. It was a jaw-dropping shock at the time. 

The reason I am citing the Dark Phoenix arc as an example, is because both Jean Grey and Megumi's character arc revolves around themes of agency, how it's stolen from them and how they reclaim it.

The basic summary of the Phoenix arc is that Jean Grey is initially given a massive power boost when she's possessed by the Phoenix. She stays behind on a crashing ship only to be saved by the Phoenix, a guardian, alien entity of immense power that was locked away in a crystal. Jean Grey returns as Phoenix with a massive power boost, but there's several ambiguous elements that compromise her agency. It's implied that Jean Grey always had a tremendous power that was in part sealed away by Professor Xavier using his telepathy (infringing on her agency) and that while the Phoenix gifted Jean Grey power, it's also an alien entity effecting her mind and body.

On top of that when she acquires the power, outside forces begin wanting to manipulate Jean in order to gain her power for their own ends.

A group called the Hellfire club begin to psychically tamper with her mind. They trap her in hallucination world where she is a woman of the 1800s, (not famously known for their agency) and in love with the leader of the Hellfire Club, even going so far as to give her false memories in order to convince her that this is reality.

The concept of agency and how it's constantly infringed upon, even by someone who's supposed to be on her side (Xavier) is central to this arc. Jean evetually escapes from the Hellfire club's manipulation, and reclaims her bodily autonomy but the story does not end there.

The subtle changes in Jean's behavior still continue, even after Jean has freed herself from the mind control. Is this the result of being given too much power at once? Is Jean losing control because she was never taught to properly handle her powers?

Jean Grey is also the character with the strongest potential in the main cast (much like Megumi) and also a character who's been prevented from using her powers to their full potential and even had her powers stolen and used by others (Much like Megumi).

It's heavily important that Jean's corruption into dark phoenix happens after freeing herself, and in response to the Hellfire club's machination to take all agency away from her. Jean instead makes a grab for power and agency by abusing her power as Dark Phoenix.

Jean even mentions that turning against her friends and trying to kill them as Dark Phoenix, will sever the last tie holding her back, will get of Jean Grey for good and cause her to fully embrace being Phoenix.

Jean has flipped entirely, overembracing the power and agency that has been stolen from her again and again, but really how could someone not desperately try to take back control of their lives after being mind controlled or having their mind violated multiple times (the phoenix itself, the hellfire club, even by Xavier).

How can someone never allowed to use her power, or given choices on how to use her power, not be corrupted when after being stepped on all of their lives the power of a god is dropped into their lap?

This is why I believe Megumi will be the one to initiate the merger, because his entire arc has been about having his power stolen away from him and what would Megumi do when given total power over the merger by Kenjaku?

Megumi Corruption Theory

The biggest piece of evidence for this theory is right here, Kenjaku specifically says to give Megumi Fushiguro the authority to start the merger.

There's a technical reason for this, Sukuna is currently in Megumi's body, and Sukuna himself was actually registered in Yuji's place because Yuji was built by Kenjaku to be a cage for Sukuna.

However, it can also be read as foreshadowing. If you believe like I do that the merger has to happen, then Sukuna can't be the one to initiate it. The simple reason why is that the main characters will have to be alive to fight against a merger, and Sukuna has set the condition that he'll start the merger after killing the main cast in order to motivate them to fight him with everything they have.

If Sukuna is going to start the merger after killing all the main characters, then he can't be the one to start the merger because the main characters have to be alive to witness the merger take place and fight against it somehow.

Therefore, logically if the merger is going to occur the only person who could possibly activate it is Megumi Fushiguro after reclaiming his body.

There's more foreshadowing then this one instance however, and a lot of it revolves around Sukuna and Megumi's unique relationship and Sukuna's role as a character.

As for why Megumi would possibly start out the merger, it's the same as Jean Grey, a character denied of agency suddenly has all the power in his hands, who wouldn't be corrupted? Especially Megumi, a character who's just been robbed of his sister and his mentor, and his purpose in life besides that (protecting Tsumiki)? Why wouldn't he lash out if suddenly given the power to? His friends are trying to save him yes, but Megumi is begging those save friends not to save him to end it all.

How do you save someone who isn't prepared to be saved?

How is the story going to answer that question, if saving Megumi is a matter as simple as just beating up Sukuna and giving his body back to him?

Onto analyzing more foreshadowing, but first a brief tangent on the nature of foreshadowing in Jujutsu Kaisen. Every major twist in the manga is foreshadowed far in advance. Kenjaku beng the one to possess Geto's body - foreshadowed by Kenjaku killing Mechamaru when Geto was against killing young sorcerers, and the fact Geto was deliberately killed onscreen with no explanation provided to the audience on how he could possibly revive.

Sukuna calls the purpose of the bath to be near evil, to submerge Megumi's soul.

If saving Megumi is just a matter of ridding him of Sukuna's possession however, then how does that allow Megumi to reclaim his agency? What agency does a damsel in distress who just exists to be rescued have?

Megumi's entire arc has been defined by the potential power that everyone sees in him, and his inability to reach that power especailly since other characters (especially Sukuna) seek to steal that power for their own ends. In the culmination of this arc, Sukuna literally steals Megumi's body, and his bodily agency.

How does Megumi finally live up to that potential if Megumi's arc ends with him being saved by Yuji? How does this make Megumi grow or change in any way?

Sensui, who is once again Gege's model of a corruption arc is referred to as a pure angel that was inevitably grew scarred and defiled, by his close personal confidant Itsuki. Not only that, but sinking deep into despair made him grow stronger not weaker.

Itsuki is also, a demon who met and encountered Sensui and then took a deeply invested perosnal interest in watching Sensui be corrupted in real time.

Megumi also has a curse that took a sole interest in him because of his talent and potential, then had a hand in bringing him closer to evil in order to make him sink into despair. There's once again the symbolism of purity being corrupted.

This panel explicitly shows white lilies (symbols of purity) being torn apart and blackened to symbolize what Sukuna wishes to do to Megumi in order to further is own ends.

There's also the heavy budhist symbolism with Sukuna's role in the story, and the way he influences the rest of the cast, especially Gojo Satoru who is our stand-in for the Budha. If the goal of Jujutsu Society is to attain enlightenment (escape cursed energy probably the only thing that will end the miserable lives of sorcerers), then the merger represents the opposite, Kenjaku's goal of optimizing cursed energy by mixing humans, sorcerers and curses to give birth to a new being.

That's also a conflict that needs to be resolved, but Sukuna by pushing forward the optimizing of cursed energy and representing the peak of sorcery living only for sorcerery and his own strength represents a Mara.

Sukuna is comparable to the Celestial Demon Mara in budhist mythology, more on it in this thread. In budhist cosmology, Mara is the “personification of the forces antagonistic to enlightenment.”

If the ultimate goal of budhism is to escape the cycle entirely and stop being reborn in the sensuous realm, Maara instead tempts people to stay in this realm. it defines impernanence by suggesting we stay in this realm forever. It defies Dukha by saying we indulge in physical pleasures in this realm, that we should seek to satisfy ourselves even if budhism argues that life is primarily unsatisfactory.

We even see Sukuna literally tempt a budha-like figure into remaining in this earthly realm. After all aren’t we shown that Gojo achieved enlightenment at seventeen and let go of earthly emotions like the need to be angry and avenge Riko’s killer because the feeling of oneness with existence was too good in that moment.

A lot of people noticed what they thought was Gojo acting out of character in the fight with him and Sukuna, by enjoying the fight and choosing his selfish desire to love jujutsu and fight as a sorcerer over his responsibiltiy to protect children. Something which Nanami says in his dying hallucination that Gojo only ever lived for the pursuit of his selfish desire for Jujutsu in the first place.

Gojo in his last fight against Sukuna forgets about saving Megumi or at least makes it a lesser priority, because Sukuna tempts him to do what he's always wanted to go all out in a sorcery fight and have the freedom to use his powers to the best of his ability. Hoewever, even after using his full strength, Sukuna cuts down the notion that he is above humanity and drags him back to the earth - literally calling him unenlightened.

“This is goodbye. You were born in an era without me and hailed as the strongest yet you turned out to be painfully ordinary…”

Does Sukuna not represent this temptation for all characters? Sukuna represents the selfish ideal of sorcerers, using his powers for himself to satisfy his hedonistic desires and because of this he has the most agency in the story and the story at times even bends to his desires.

Characters even fight for Sukuna's recognition, Hajime, Jogo and Gojo are validated by that same recognition in theend.

Why wouldn't Gojo and more importantly Megumi who are characters with very little agency not jump at the chance to be more like Sukuna, especially if it brings Sukuna the freedom he possesses?

Itsuki refers to himself as Senseui's shadows, leading him to act on his darkest impulses and enjoying watching the corruption spread. Megumi is literally a character who's Jujutsu revolves around his shadow, and summoning powerful Shikigami from it in order to fight. A character with an incomplete domain expansion (another loose plot thread with Megumi that would be unresolved if Megumi were simply saved) which is his own creation, which might surpass Mahoraga the technique handed to him.

In addition to being a Mara, Sukuna is also literally called the "fallen / disgraced one". Itsuki calls Sensui a fallen agel, but in the context of Jujutsu Kaisen there's literally a character called Angel, who's only goal is to save Megumi's soul, and there is a satan figure in Sukuna who wants to corrupt him. Literally, there's an angel and devil on Megumi's shoulder.

How is stealing Megumi's body corruption though? Megumi's not being tempted into being selfish. He's not responsible for any of the sins that Sukuna commits in his body. There's no arc there, because Megumi doesn't reclaim his agency in response to having it stolen away, he doesn't decide to do the bad things himself - it's Sukuna who commits the wrongs.

Even More Setup for the End Game

Here's where I stop referencing Yu Yu Hakusho and only use foreshadowing in the comic itself. The first is the discussion of roles, and how Yuji needs to break away from them, as much as Megumi needs to fight for his agency back.

Part of the reason Sukuna jumped bodies is because Yuji wanted to be given an easy role like a character in a story - rather than thinking and deciding for himself. He thanks Megumi and Gojo for giving him a role seconds before the body swap happens. If Yuji is immediately punished for thinking that what he needs is to be a cog in the machine, to be given a role then methinks that's a bad thing.

However, Yuji has not broken away from that thinking in any significant way. Sukuna even mocks him for finally being given a role.

If Yuji's thinking hasn't changed then no story arc has taken place. If this conflict of Yuji wanting to conform to a cog or a role has persisted since Shibuya - then it's clearly important to his arc and is something that needs to be resolved. If Yuji just solves the problem by being stronger than Sukuna and beating him in a fight, how does that resolve Yuji's flaw of clinging to roles rather than thinking for himself? I ask once again, where's the change?

Saving Megumi like a damsel in distress is still a role someone else has assigned him.

How does the decision to save Megumi right now challenge Yuji's hero complex in any way, besides the fact that Megumi has sunk into despair and would rather just end it all. Is that much a conflict that really forces Yuji to think for himself - to go against the grain of society rather than blindly following others.

If Yuji gets to rescue Megumi like a damsel, that's giving him what he wants, without forcing him to realize what he needs. That's as much of an unfullfilling end to Yuji's arc as a ending where Megumi never reclaims his agency and stands on his own feet and just has to sit there and wait and be passively saved.

Most of all the question: "Is it possible to save someone who's not prepared to be saved?" goes unanswered.

Geto wasn't just depressed and suicidal, he was actively making harmful choices and represented a danger to others. He also had no intention of stopping the path that he was on.

There's a clear parallel between Megumi and Yuji's friendship, and Geto and Gojo's past fallout. However, if it's just a conflict of Yuji saving Megumi who's simply too suicidal and doesn't want to go on living, there's no conflict there. The audience will not see whether or not Gojo was still capable of saving Geto post his burning down the village, or if there was no walking back from that choice. The previous generation won't resolve or fix the mistakes of the past generation.

Yuji remains a hero, Megumi remains a victim, as I reiterate for the thousandth time there's no change.

Megumi starting the merger, or even defeating Sukuna himself (maybe with a completed domain expansion) and then starting the merger is a change. It's also foreshadowed, Mahoraga is the technique he inherited, the technique Sukuna stole (and Mahoraga won't work against him he's already defeated it), Megumi's domain expansion is his own creation, created in his deepest moment of personal growth.

The process of individuation also literally requires a character fully integrating their shadow. Sukuna possessing Megumi is not Megumi facing his shadow or his worst traits, because Sukuna is not Megumi's shadow, he doesn't reflect Megumi's flaws in anyway, he's literally just a parasite.

There's also the 1001 Toji parallels to Megumi that have gone unfulfilled. Toji specifically a character who was abused, then chose to continue the cycle of abuse, specifically because he wanted to prove himself stronger than the peak of sorcery. Especially after a lifetime of being belittled and abused by not having the potential of his Heavenly Restriction recognized.

And what do we have here, but a scene of Toji LITERALLY EMERGING FROM MEGUMI'S SHADOW, in order to enter Dagon's domain.

How is Toji referred to afterwards? As a puppet of carnage bearing his fangs at the strongest around.

An incredibly Sukuna like description, number one because Sukuna's entire existence is simply bearing his fangs at the strongest around, and number two Sukuna is referred to as pure destruction, like a calamity, something with overhwelming sense of self and no humanity.

Not only that, but when fighting Sukuna, Gojo makes an explicit reference to Toji comparing him to Sukuna as the last time he ever felt nervous or challenged by an enemy. Sukuna and Toji are being alligned as similiar characters, supremely selfish people who hoard their agency and strength. Toji also represents the worst of Megumi, a victim caught in a perpetual cycle of lashing out against the world, a bad future path he might take if he doesn't get over himself.

Sukuna is connected to Toji wo is connected to Gojo, and all three represent a path that Megumi has been nudged down his entire life, that he should just selfishly use his power with no regards to anyone else the same way they do.

As I said before in my comparison to Jean, why wouldn't someone who's been robbed of all agency for so long, not go too far in reclaiming it? What's stopping them now that the chains are finally off?

Megumi parallels Geto, who parallels Toji, who parallels Sukuna and why draw all these lines between these characters if it's not to represent a path that Megumi could take?

In other words...

[halemerry]

On Aziraphale, Protection, and the Greater Good

Alright folks. I’ve already written quite a bit about the ways the Metatron was trying to manipulate Aziraphale here, but I wanted to give credit where credit is due and talk a little bit about how I don’t think that necessarily means it worked nearly as well as the Metatron thinks it does.

Because Aziraphale? Is not stupid. It’s one of his defining traits that though he might occasionally be slow, he has always been intelligent. He has also always been a fighter. And a bit stubborn. And though the fact he is allowed to be all that and still stay soft is one of my favorite things about him, that does not mean he is soft and soft alone.

With or without Crowley, Aziraphale has nearly always been a character who, above all else, does what’s right. This is part of what Crowley loves about him and it’s part about what we as the audience love about him too. He shelters a demon on the wall he is meant to be guarding. He gives away a sword to humans and lies to God about it directly to Her face. He struggles immensely with being asked to do anything he cannot reconcile with his morals and, even if he might fight against his impulses as to what’s right for a little bit, when push comes to shove he almost always falls on the right side of that scale. It’s important especially that this is also true of him even without Crowley in the equation.

Now, Crowley makes it much easier for him to be this person. He encourages and enables Aziraphale to be himself. He complicates and challenges Aziraphale’s worldview but in a healthy way that helps him grow and develop it, but never forces Az to be someone he isn’t. He also, most importantly, gives Aziraphale someone he understands. He is a connection. And a connection that allows Aziraphale to take his time and to make the excuses he needs to, at least for a little while. Because he understands that while Aziraphale is slow to change, he is not as resistant to it as he often reads to be - especially when he thinks that change can benefit the greater good.

Because Aziraphale fundamentally loves Earth and the people on it. And he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Crowley does too. Not taking an opportunity he has to help someone has never sat well with him - even if that person is a naked Gabriel showing up on his doorstep. He does not run away with Crowley in season 1 because it would have been wrong to run away when he felt he could help and the same principle applies here too with the decision he comes to about the Metatron’s offer.

While I definitely think the Metatron was using lovebombing and other manipulation techniques on Aziraphale I highly suspect he is underestimating his new Supreme Archangel. And I highly suspect that what is happening here is not Aziraphale folding back into this own cult as much as much a few other things that could be happening.

I may poke around at a few more of these later but for now I want to focus on Aziraphale lied theory laid out here by @las-lus. This whole season has focused quite a bit on Aziraphale lying/using sleight of hand for Crowley's sake. It makes sense he would do this too to protect him from the Metatron and critically I don’t think it’s an accident that the only shot we get of his conversation with the Metatron are flashbacks from Aziraphale's narrative point of view. Reading this actually changed the whole trajectory of this meta so please take a look at it if you've got the chance! I really love this theory a lot and would've slapped this all on a reblog if it wasn't so big. (Though I'll be the first to admit I'm biased to anything that lets Aziraphale do some rescuing.)

At it's core this makes this action a protective one. He is a guardian given a flaming sword by God. He was built to protect. And we see him in this role throughout the series even if it's not always in the way we expect or in the way he was necessarily built for.

I want to start before the beginning. This scene is an important one for a lot of reasons, but for the context of this the important bit is that Aziraphale is already anxious. He’s a bit starstruck and a little baffled by the strange angel he’s stumbled into chatting with, but his primary focus in the meat of this scene is actually concern for this stranger's welfare. The instant the topic turns critical he immediately starts glancing around anxiously. This scene ends with him saying, "I'd hate to see you getting into any trouble." and giving us one of the most worried expressions I've ever seen on his face.

Then again at Eden, the first time we meet Aziraphale, we are shown him acting twice in a row for the sake of keeping others safe. We see him offer Crowley shelter from the storm and also give away his God given weapon to protect Adam and Eve. A lot of people tie Crowley to Eden for obvious reason but I think people often forget that, yes, without Crowley humans don't leave Eden but without Aziraphale they do not survive it.

We then see him in conflict over the Flood. As far as we know he doesn't act here but he quite clearly thinks it is wrong. He's high strung and tense and his attempts to rebuke Crowley's frustration feels more like him trying to convince himself.

Now we get to Job. This minisode is so fascinating to me for a lot of reasons because through most of it, against pattern, we have Aziraphale as the driving force throughout it. First we get Aziraphale checking in with Heaven to make sure there wasn't some official solution to this. (We also get a line in there that I think says a lot about Aziraphale's priorities when he specifically draws attention to his concerns for Sitis being old enough birth that many times would be hard and risky.) Once Heaven fails him here Aziraphale is the one to reach out to Crowley and Aziraphale is the one to press for them to work together. He takes a gamble, hoping that his instinct that Crowley does not want to hurt kids is accurate, and gets up in Crowley's face to challenge him when Crowley refuses to prove him right. It is not Crowley taking the lead here, bringing Aziraphale in but rather Aziraphale trusting his owns instincts are right.

Aziraphale is also crucially the one constructing the charade Crowley plays in front of the angels as Bildad the cobbler/midwife. Aziraphale immediately and without hesitation provides Crowley with the pieces he needs to make the lie convincing enough. He tells him that what they need is an expert on human births and Crowley rolls with it and then clarifies very quickly that Gabriel witnessed Eve's birth, signaling to Crowley that mimicking that would be the play.

He is trying to tip the scales to get the outcome he wants - to keep this family safe - before he ever utters a lie. And then he does. He lies directly, giving his word as an angel. This is an act that eats him alive inside. He literally thinks he has fallen for this and has perfectly resigned himself as being damned to Hell for it and does it anyway. Because he knows it was right. Because he thinks a family of five he has no real connection to are worth falling to protect.

By the time we hit the Globe in 1601 Aziraphale's primary objection to their Arrangement has evolved from concern about what Head Office will think into concern specifically for Crowley's safety.

Then in 1827, even if it's in a misguided way, his concern starts out on Elspeth and her soul. He tries to protect her and very quickly changes his tune as soon as he's given proper evidence that what she was doing was net good. Again he is the one driving most of this narrative and the duo's actions forward as Crowley drifts along trying to get him to see that some actions aren't fully good or bad but can exist in a moral gray space. We also get him verbalizing his own moral code here explicitly when he wants to heal Morag.

He continues to have concern for Crowley on the forefront of his mind - asking very quickly after his good deed for Elspeth if he's safe or if hell noticed and then a few years later denies Crowley holy water out of concern that it could destroy him.

In 1941 we first get him operating under cover trying to unsuccessfully lie his way into dispatching some Nazi. We then get him offering himself as a magician for Crowley's sake and using sleight of hand to keep evidence of their relationship from making its way to Hell.

In particular I want to draw attention here to the fact the episode we revisit this moment in has two very similar moments toward the beginning and end of it. This episode opens with what the episode is named for - Shax hitching a ride with Aziraphale. He's relatively amicable with her until she at one point implies harm to Crowley wondering out loud why he would risk destruction for Az. Then toward the end when Furfur enters the dressing room, Aziraphale is pleasant and kind until the moment it becomes clear Crowley is being threatened. In both cases his expression turns more neutral and his body language becomes more focused and serious. He is ready to protect at all costs and is done being polite to these people who threaten his demon.

From there we go to 1976. Here as he hears about Crowley's holy water heist, he makes a choice. Even though he does not want Crowley having this weapon at all and tells Crowley as much that that position hasn't changed he realizes how dangerous trying to steal it could be. So he decides to make it as safe as he can in the circumstance, putting aside his own wants and feelings for the sake of minimizing even potential harms.

Even good old 'you go too fast for me' is a form of protection here. Even if it hurts and even if it's not want they want they need at least one of them to pump the breaks to make sure they are not discovered.

Then the world nearly ends. I won't examine what happens there too closely but I think we can all agree Aziraphale was willing to do quite a lot to insure the world and Crowley were safe once Crowley gets him on board with raising Warlock. Though I do want to note I don't think it's an accident that a lot of what Aziraphale says to Crowley at the end of six has echos of the bandstand - the last event Aziraphale has to reference that he knew would make Crowley go away.

A lot of the core of the current season is built around all sorts of protective Aziraphale actions. The flashbacks all gesture at it in some capacity, and anther notable one is him sacrificing books both as weaponry and to make the ball happen. He has committed to securing their safety before a single demon even shows up looking for Gabriel. We also get him willingly risking war to defend the people in his shop. Episode six in particular shows us a lot of Aziraphale in this mode, which he's pretty much locked into from the moment the demons arrive, Whether it's protecting Gabriel, Nina and Maggie, or at one point putting his body between the demons and a whole crowd of people including Crowley.

This season is a season that emphasizes that Aziraphale is a liar. It is one that draws attention to him pulling tricks and on him learning to do that for the greater good. It it about him learning that sometimes the choices we make are often more morally gray than we would like. And most importantly it is about Aziraphale believing this world and the people in it are worth protecting.

And who does he want to keep safe more than anyone? Who did he fight to share his life with? It makes sense to me that he would do this for Crowley. It's perfectly in character and gives Aziraphale the due credit I think a lot of theories lack. Because, to me, Aziraphale isn't the one that walks away from Omelas, Aziraphale is the child who would willfully sacrifice himself to keep the people he loves safe.

[iskratempestmadness]

Meeting there first born baby for the first time X3

Baki:

He is happy and in shock. But Baki is now unsure of his abilities. Like, can he handle it? It's a big responsibility to raise a child! Is he sure he can handle it? Just tell him that everything will be fine, that you will raise the child together, that he does not have to take full responsibility for himself and that you can also be relied on and everything will be fine. He just needs words of support and an expression of joy while he holds his child in his arms admiring him. He will be gentle with him and attentive.

Hanayama:

He looks quite calm, but in reality he is overwhelmed with emotions. He already imagines how he will play with his child, how they will spend time together, perform ordinary household chores. But then another thought strikes his head. What if his child fights the same way he does? Moreover, what would happen if he came to the arena in the future? What if he also becomes a yakuza?He doesn't like the idea. He would not want his child to be somehow connected with his field of activity. But looking at your pretty face while he's rocking the baby, he can't even think about it.

Katsumi:

Joy, pure joy. He's really happy. The child is so charming. So cute. But... He has a strange feeling lurking somewhere inside. Anxiety. What will happen when you grow up? Who are you going to talk to? What happens if you contact the wrong company? He has a swarm of questions that have not yet been answered. Distract him, please, he's driving too much. He will probably be an overprotective father in the future. He will always give the child the proper amount of attention, he will never neglect them.

Jack:

He's pretty calm, but that doesn't change the fact that he's happy. To be honest, he already has a lot of plans for the baby. Like he's already thought through his life, what he's going to do, who he's going to grow up to be. He would be glad if his child was also engaged in martial arts, he would be happy in the slaughter if his child would become a successor to his gudo. So he will do his best to make sure that his child grows up exactly like this.

Retsu:

He's happy. Really happy. His baby is so cute, the sweetest bun in the world. He doesn't quite understand how he's going to raise him yet, but he knows for sure that regardless of gender, his child will NEVER practice martial arts. His child will NEVER enter the ring. He will do everything possible to prevent this from happening. In principle, his child should not see cruelty. Perhaps one of those parents who are fixated on the psychological health of the child.

Shibukawa:

He's happy, that's for sure, but he's a little worried about this situation. It means that he has a child. Well, he's seventy-five, it's strange for him to be a "young father." But on the other hand, he will be one of the best parents. He has lived a long life, he has a lot of experience, which helps to avoid many mistakes. He probably coddled his niece when she was little, so it's OK. He has perhaps one problem.This is his fear of not living to see his grandchildren. So he will put pressure on his child regarding the wedding.

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

"What the fuck?"

Selina felt that those three words were enough to describe her whole relationship with Bruce Wayne. First as Batman, then as Bruce.

She had thought there might be something between them. Luckily it had passed, and a weird friendship had developed between them. Which might make some people turn up their noses since she was a thief and he was a vigilante but Bruce hasn't been so uptight lately and as long as Selina didn't kill and steal only who deserved it, they were fine.

Still, what the heck?

"Oh, Brucie is growing up," Harley said, all too pleased.

She was upright on the bed, while Pamela sat on the other side trimming her nails, seemingly ignoring the ongoing conversation.

Fuck house arrest for both of them. Why had she accepted? Oh yeah, they were friends.

Alsp, Bruce hoped that with her, Pamela and Harley could direct their impulses towards more correct forms of fighting for their principles, without involving innocent people.

So far it wasn't going to be great, but at least Harley had dumped her clown ex, for good this time, so it was a win.

(Probably more thanks to Pamela than her, but details.)

"Let me get this straight…you, mister, I don't look anyone in the face and if you talk to me for more than five minutes I'll start crying, you want….I can't believe I'm about to say it…learn how to seduce a man."

"Exactly," Bruce replied, as he petted one of Selina's cats.

"Just…why?"

"Who cares?" Harley broke in.

"He finally wants to step outside his boundaries! You have my respect!"

"It's not about going outside my boundaries. It's about planetary security."

"Really?" Selina said, half joking.

"Superman is powerful enough to destroy the planet."

This knocked Harley over, and Pamela finally stopped pretending not to pay attention.

Selina didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or slap him on the head, "Do you want to seduce Superman?!"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"To discover his weaknesses and use them against him when his powers drive him insane."

"Wow, talking about trust issues," was Harley's comment.

"I like to be prepared," Bruce said.

"What did the boy scout do to make you fear that he might become world dictator at the slightest provocation?"

The man pouted adorable, and grumbled. Selina still wasn't an expert at translating each other's mumbling but she swore it was something like smiling too much, and I don't trust him, he's got something to hide.

Harley said, "Isn't Superman having an affair with that reporter? Lois Lane?"

"She is General Lane's daughter. A close relationship is not advisable."

"She seems to know him well. Why don't you ask her?"

"She wouldn't answer me, so as not to betray him. Everyone says he's a hero."

"And you obviously don't believe it," Selina suspected.

"No."

"What makes you think he might be interested in men?" Selina asked him.

Harley laughed, "Cupcake, no completely straight man would wear pants that tight."

"Same conclusion I came to."

Oh good. The fate of the world was entrusted to a pair of tight trousers.

"Besides, I've done some research on him, and I might be his type. At least physically. What I lack is the ability to seduce him to lower his defenses and believe me harmless."

"Ability you think we have?" Selina asked, not sure whether to feel offended or not.

"Gotham is very sexist," Bruce said.

"You did your best to manipulate men who thought they knew better."

Pamela smiled, "I'm liking this one."

“I told you Brucie's one of the good ones,” Harley genuinely smiled as she said it.

"And he's a weirdo, like us."

Selina wanted to moan. This is what happens when you make friends with strange vigilantes. She said, "So Superman has a thing for brunettes. Good to know. Have you thought about what to do in case your brilliant plan fails?"

"It won't fail," he said confidently.

"You don't know," she insisted, trying to give him some common sense. A futile undertaking, it was Bruce she was talking to.

"Superman is overconfident. He will fall into the net."

"Definitely not dressed like that honey," Harley commented, taking a long look to Bruce.

"What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?"

"You look like a creepy stalker," Selina said. Army jacket, hat, scarf to cover her face and mascara for her eyes. Bruce was a walking fashion insult. They're definitely going to have to fix his wardrobe, make him wear things that flatter his body and…

Oh god, she was totally on board with that plan, right?

Read more

[darylscigarettesmoke]

Daryl is weak.

Okay, bold headline. I’m a journalist I know how clickbait works. Jokes aside, hear me out.

A lot of fans say that Daryl acts totally out of character in the second season of his spin-off. Getting close to a woman that quickly. Kissing her. Not thinking about going home anymore or not fighting tooth and nail to get there anymore.

And while I very much agree and the Daryl from the Spin-Off doesn’t feel like the Daryl from the flagship show anymore, there’s a pattern I’ve noticed throughout the series.

The word Daryl gets described the most is probably “loyal”. But what if he’s not that “loyal” man, everyone makes him out to be?

Daryl’s not good alone. He needs people. He latches on to them. First it was Merle, his bad influence of a brother. Then it was Rick and the group. He needs a role model. Someone to follow.

what happens though if you take away his role model, is always the same thing. He falls into despair, latches onto someone else and forgets where he came from.

Remember the arc after the prison fell? He was stuck with Beth, thought the group is dead. But instead of making use of his tracking abilities, determination, pure willpower to prove himself wrong and see that most folks are still alive or just whatever to find out if the other’s are really dead, he succumbs to pessimism and suggests to Beth to just stay at the funeral home, doing nothing but playing house. He would’ve stayed there for much longer if Beth hadn’t gone kidnapped. Once Beth was gone, he stucked to the Claimers until Rick came along again…

Same thing with Leah. He believed his leader (Rick) to be dead, his guilt made him shy away from his family, he lived in the woods until Leah came along. It took him longer than with Beth to finally give in and decide to stay with Leah, but still - he isolated himself from the thoughts of his family and stayed with a woman - and yet again, he would have stayed there, away from his family, if Leah hadn’t left herself. He didn’t have a clue about what’s happening in Alexandria, with the Whisperers, with Rick’s kids and probably didn’t wanna know either.

Rinse and repeat we got Isabelle. In this case, it’s even worse because Daryl’s stuck in another country. But again he’s far away from his family, again there is a woman, again he’s latching onto her and yet again he is forgetting about his people back home to the point where he’s almost not considering to go back anymore at all.

Daryl always needs a circumstance, a death, a kidnapping, or a person (Carol?) to pull him back to reality and to remind him who he is and what he might’ve left behind.

It’s also highly ironic to me that the Villain of the season, that cult leader, describes what’s going on with Daryl in Episode 2x03 perfectly:

“Must be hard living without a semblance of faith. No organizing principle, nothing to cling to [….] a man alone it’s a sad state.”

Daryl always believes he is alone, that his group has given up on him. His low self-esteem and the thing’s he had to endure prevent him from seeing how loved he is. But he’s never been truly alone, after he found Rick’s group.

Having to fend for himself as a kid has left his mark on him, so he’s clinging onto people, desperate of not wanting to be alone.

Now that doesn’t go without saying that I don’t believe Daryl didn’t find something in France. He found what he wishes for - a family of his own and to not be the “lonely man” anymore. But it’s time to come back from Neverland, to achieve that dream.

With all of these things considered I start to believe the Daryl we all know and love is still there - he just needs to be reminded that he is loved, cared for and so, so missed.

Edit: Some more notes. That is just a poor explanation/interpretation of bad writing in the Spin-Off. When Daryl said he wasn’t sure of what he was looking for when he left the Commonwealth, that made it clear as day the writers absolutely intend to retcon this beloved character and all of his core characteristics to pretend Daryl’s this blank page, a character without history. But this doesn’t work and I hope they’ll notice it soon enough.

[ironstrange1991]

Starting Over

Paring: Tony!Stark x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

Synopsis: Tony Stark is the best friend you can have when you're struggling with depression.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and medications, depression, social isolation, suicidal thoughts (in the fic they appear in some ironic and deprecatives thoughts).

A/N: I'm not going to pretend I wasn't writing about myself in this fic, you're all too smart not to realize that. It's been difficult days, weeks, months and writing this fic has helped me in a way. There is a lot of angst but also some fluff moments. Hope you guys like it.

You were stuck. In life, in love, at work. The whole world seemed to be spinning, running, happening and you were just there, standing, motionless looking through the window, stuck in gravity.

You were depressed. Not just sad or down, but really depressed. After fighting depression for years, taking every type of antidepressant there was and not being able to get out of that state, you simply stopped trying. Depression was part of your personality now and you wore it almost like a battle trophy, a victory flag that you brandished as if to say: I survive.

Surviving became the thing you were best at. A true prodigy when the subject was to endure. You withstood the strong winds of life, endured through each wave of catastrophe, and remained. Even if inside you were falling apart.

To fall apart. What a funny way to say it. To actually fall apart it was necessary that, in principle, you had risen up at some point. That somehow, even if just for a little while, you had managed to let go of that sad and pitiful state, but that wasn't what happened. You never made it out. Once you got close, but the doors closed before you got through them. The sun set before you could finally reach it just like in that Marilyn Manson song. The same song that played on repeat now through your tv speakers as you sat on your couch in your small apartment on a Friday night after getting home from work. Your cat, Sebastian, sleeping lazily next to you on the couch, completely oblivious to your problems. You liked watching him sleep, he calmed you just by existing and you envied his innocence.

God, you hated Fridays. To be honest, there wasn't a day you liked when in fact you hated being alive. But Fridays were oppressive. They were like a reminder that the world was a living, breathing thing where things happened and you were on the outside, never a part of it.

On Fridays you would hear the conversations of your coworkers talking about the parties they were going to, the dates with their crushes, the family dinners, the happy hours with friends. You once heard a colleague saying that weekends are made for enjoying your family and you wondered if you would feel better if you had a family to run to.

All these fruitless and cursed inquiries would arrive on Fridays like an unwanted visitor and weigh on your chest as soon you close the door behind you and contemplate the emptiness of your apartment. Of your life.

I should get another cat. You would think every Friday night and ended up on the couch, like now, with a bottle of wine, a clonazepam pill, and the vain hope that one day maybe things could change or that one day you just wouldn't wake up on the next Saturday morning. The second option would always bring a sadistic smile to your lips.

Flirting with death again, Y/n. Why do you always end up on this couch flirting with death?!

You were distracted by your own thoughts, immersed so deep in them that the very air around you seemed thick and unbreathable when you heard the sound of the doorbell. You froze for a moment scared by the intrusion. The sound, which you weren't at all used to, sent a shiver down your spine.

There was only one person in the world who had access to your apartment, one person in the world who you trusted enough to give your address, your phone number, your friendship. And this person unfortunately had a too busy life to spend time with you. Even if he tried very hard.

However, contrary to everything you knew to be true, when you opened the door, he was the one standing there, dressed in jeans and a hoodie with the hood pulled to hide the majority of his face and a pair of sunglasses, although it was night. Tony Stark.

"What...?" You started to say, but were interrupted.

"Are you going to let me in or am I going to have to stand here and risk being recognized by one of your weird neighbors?"

You opened the door for him to enter and closed it behind you, still amazed that he was there in the first place.

You and Tony met at one of his science fairs. You worked for a technology company and he offered you a scholarship because he was enchanted by one of your creations. The rest was history. Well, in fact the rest was the only real friendship you had or have in your life, not counting the financial help that ensured you continued paying your rent when the company you worked for went bankrupt and you were fired.

"I've sent you at least ten messages all day. And I've tried calling you a thousand times." He ranted looking at you as if looking for something. "I thought you’ve died or worse."

"What could be worse than dying?" You asked, your voice sounding as monotonous as your life.

He raised an eyebrow but didn't respond, returning to where he had left off.

"What I'm trying to say is that I was worried about you. The last time we spoke you didn't seem well and that was two weeks ago."

You sighed, sitting down and he pushed Sebastian to the side so he could sit next to you. The old cat seemed to glare at him before getting off the couch and starting to lick the exact spot where Tony touched him.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry about the messages, I didn't know what to reply and I didn't see the calls because the cell phone is on do not disturb mode."

Tony sighed. "What's going on? Aren't the medicines working? Is there a problem at work?"

You shrugged. "Same as always. And I'm not taking medication, you'd know that if you read my latest messages, which you haven't done in the last week."

He didn't seem satisfied with your answer. "Why the hell did you stop the meds, Y/n? You  just said they were helping!"

You shrugged. "For the first few weeks. Then they stopped working like all the others. Plus, they don't let me cry. It's a strange feeling."

Tony ran a hand over his face. "Isn't this a good thing?"

"Not really. They don't take the sadness away, Tony, they just don't let me cry it away."

He stared at the TV sighing. "I'm sorry I didn't respond to your messages. I was away. I just got back."

You nodded. "Out of the country?"

"Out of the planet." He said with a shrug "Alien threat, long story. The short version is that I was there leading a team and we won. The earth is saved again. I saved your life again, I'll send you the bill later."

You smirked "As far as it's up to me, you don't need to bother anymore."

Tony made a face, analyzing you closely, but didn't say anything.

"Why are you here, Tony? Really. Don't tell me you were just passing by because you have no reason to come to this side of town."

He sighed. "I'm worried about you. I dreamed about you last night. It was bad, really bad. It made me think..."

You frowned, waiting for him to continue, but instead he pulled you into a tight hug like he was afraid of losing you. You were surprised at first, but then you hugged him back and that feeling, the human touch, was enough to make you start crying.

"It’s okay." Tony whispered in your ear. "You can cry. I'm here, now."

And you cried. In a way you hadn't cried in a long time. All the feelings pent up inside your chest seemed to overflow and you felt relief, almost as if you had carried something heavy in your arms for a long time and could finally let go.

When the torrent of tears finally stopped you pulled away hugging your knees and feeling a little embarrassed, but Tony somehow always knew how to deal with every situation in such a natural way. Sometimes you would catch yourself looking at him and thinking how you could be so lucky to have him as a friend. Good things didn't usually happen to you, but Tony was an exception.

"Can we turn this thing off or at least find something decent to listen to?" He said while searching for the remote.

"Anything but your old man bands." You responded finding the strength somewhere to tease him. He rolled his eyes, finally finding the remote and turning off the TV.

He made himself comfortable on the couch and leaned his face in his hand, staring at you and simply said it. "I want you to come live with me."

And before you could show any reaction, he continued explaining himself.

You shook your head in disbelief. "Tony, you're not responsible for me. We're friends, that's all."

"I have more rooms available in that tower than I have people living in them. Besides, it would make things a lot easier for me. It's hard to keep an eye on you when you live on the other side of town."

He seemed to completely disagree. "It's what I do. I care about the people I love. Please, just... consider it." He ran his hands over his face again. "This is my way of saying I care about you, Y/n."

You sighed heavily. The idea of ​​no longer needing to pay rent was tempting, but on the other hand, what would you do in that place? You would feel like a fish out of water.

"I don't know, Tony. I'm not your superpowered friends, I have nothing to do there."

He stood up looking around and heading towards the cubicle that was your kitchen, somehow completely ignoring your answer. "Have you had dinner?" He asked rummaging through your fridge and grimacing. "Y/n there's no food in here. It doesn't even look like there's a human being living in this place."

You shrugged. "There's enough."

He opened the freezer, rummaging through the packages of frozen food. "For God's sake, is this what you're feeding on?"

You sighed, slightly irritated by the intrusion. "Tony, fresh food is expensive."

He closed the refrigerator, took out his cell phone and typed quickly. "Well, I guess we'll go for pizza tonight. Do you like Pepperoni?"

You weren't hungry, but you nodded anyway, knowing there was no point in arguing with him. Tony might be the smartest person you knew, but he was as stubborn as a mule.

He sat back down next to you. "If you need money just tell me."

You rolled your lips. The idea of ​​asking Tony for money was always in the back of your head, but since you got your job you stopped accepting his help and didn’t want to give in to the temptation again. "I don't want to overstep the boundaries of our friendship. Besides, that would put me again in an uncomfortable position, Tony..."

"Then come work for me. Okay, sorted. I need someone with your skills..."

You rolled your eyes "Do you need someone to create software for you?"

He smirked, "Okay, you got me. But, we can think of something."

You sighed, the corners of your mouth turning up in a smile. Tony was so sweet, you could see an herculean effort from him to make you feel better and it was definitely the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for you.

"I would like to quit my job. It’s a shit job." You admitted staring at your hands. "… and I hate that place. I hate those people."

"Is there any person in the world that you don't hate?" He teased.

You smirked, "You're not so bad."

He grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him. You snuggled feeling the pleasant warmth of his body and laid your head on his shoulder.

"In fact, I think you're the only person in the world I don't hate."

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders. "I'll take that as a compliment."

You smiled to yourself. “Yeah, as you should.”

He looked at his cell phone's display for a moment and then informed. "Pizza in 20 minutes." He grabbed the TV remote and turned it on again, this time looking for something to watch. He went through the streaming catalogs – from which he was paying for - and ended up deciding on a random horror movie.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes watching the opening scenes of The Nun. The silence, however, was not the uncomfortable kind, the kind that you need to fill with anything because the situation starts to get messy and strange. In fact, there was a certain comfort in being next to Tony, the intimacy that existed between you was something comforting and even cuddling with him on the couch, your head lying lazily on his shoulder, your arms wrapped around his waist, his arm resting affectionately on your shoulders, you felt completely at ease and carefree because you knew it was completely platonic. Tony had Pepper and you had simply given up on having a man in your life. Romantically speaking.

"How are things at home?" You asked, breaking the silence. "With Pepper and Morgan."

"Very good. Pepper has been taking care of the company and so she's been traveling a lot, but we're doing great. Morgan is doing really well in school. I think I've done well in life."

You smiled, genuinely happy for him. "Does she know you're here?"

He nodded, but you pushed a little harder.

"What does she think about me?"

"She knows what I tell her. She doesn't care about our friendship, if that's what you're asking."

You nodded, getting distracted by a particularly scary scene in the movie.

"She agreed to you coming and living with us." He said proudly.

You looked at him in surprise. "Seriously?"

"She also warned me that I should offer you a job if I expected you to accept the offer. Pepper knows people, she deals with them better than I do."

You smirked to yourself. "She's an incredible woman. I don't know what she saw in you." You teased tickling his ribs and eliciting giggles from him. You loved the sound of Tony's laughter. It would do you more good than all the anti-depressant pills you've ever taken in your life.

It took about 30 minutes for your pizza to arrive. Obviously, it was you who greeted the pizza guy at the door. Tony was terrified of any of your neighbors finding out he was coming to your house, not only because it could be fodder for the gossip tabloids, but also because it would ruin your privacy.

You put the pizza box on the coffee table and got two cans of soda from the fridge and threw yourself back on the couch.

Sebastian, who had settled into the small loveseat, was now staring at the two of you jealously.

You were surprised by how much you enjoyed your slice of pizza. It was the first thing you were eating that day, but you were sure that what made everything feel so special was the company. Any food, no matter how tasty it was, seemed tasteless in your mouth when you ate it alone sitting on that couch using TV to pretend a non-existent company.

"I could use an assistant." Tony said finishing his soda and looking at you waiting for an answer.

You took the last bite from your piece and chewed slowly thinking about what to say. Deep down you wanted to say yes, but rationally you wondered if you weren't crossing a line.

"You'll have your own room, which is bigger than this entire apartment. You'll have a good salary, meet new people, and spend more time with me. Something tells me that would do you good."

You smiled "I wouldn't know where to start. I don't know your work, Tony and I've never worked as a secretary."

"Assistant." He corrected.

"What if I screw up? What if I disappoint you?"

Tony touched your face "The only way you can disappoint me is by not trying. I want what's best for you and we both know that's not continuing to live in this place alone."

Immediately you glanced at Sebastian sleeping peacefully in the loveseat. "Can I take him with me? You know I'm not going anywhere without him."

Tony pretended to think about it. "You know he hates me, right?"

"He doesn't hate you. He's just jealous of me." You corrected him.

Tony smirked "You can take him, but he will have to stay in your room the whole time. It's not safe for him to be loose in the tower."

“Is it safe for me? I mean, with your weird friends there?”

Tony nodded “I’ll be there to protect you from them, don’t worry.”

Tony pulled you into his arms and you finished watching the movie like that, feeling safe in his arms and with a sense that somehow everything would be okay.

You sighed finally surrendering.

"Then the answer is yes."

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

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[heliads]

Heyy can I get Four x fem!reader, where four can see sher struggling and offers some private lessons, you can take it from there xo

as a fic writer, i love taking it from there (xo)

masterlist

Four is not particularly suited to kindness. He never has been. That’s part of why he never fit in with the other Abnegation, after all; his inability to carve away pieces of himself to give to others stuck out like a sore thumb. That, and the fact that he hated their two-faced duplicity with a passion so burning that it left him choking on the smoke. 

He’s always figured that even if he was Divergent, even if he contained multitudes of other factions within him, he never once showed a shred of Amity, either. Kindness, generosity, none of these have ever described Four. He certainly shouldn’t be wishing for it now. 

Yet, when he looks across the Dauntless training room, which is strewn with the fighting figures of initiation’s latest round of transfers, he doesn’t feel that usual call to apathy. Not now, at least. Four had supposed it would come later, when the initial interest of new faces had worn off and he was left with irritation prickling under his skin, that fidgety sort of feeling he gets when people refuse to do what’s good for them.

Four has never been the most patient, even if he is forced to play the long game of waiting and hiding due to his status as a Divergent. It makes him insufferable, or so he’s been told. Usually, Four just assumes he’s better off alone and not reaching out to anyone. Fewer secrets are shared when no one knows about them in the first place.

That doesn’t explain why he’s ignoring that favored precept of his in favor of staring at one of the initiates yet again. Four tells himself that he doesn’t do favorites, that he treats all of the trainees with the same blunt criticism and harsh words. It makes it easier that way. He once knew a few instructors who would place bets on their favorites, but they always ended up losing more than their money when their chosen trainees didn’t make the cut.

Dauntless may not be a place that encourages its pupils to choose safety over fun, but Four always betrayed that particular principle while leading initiation. He’s only been at it for a year or two, he can’t afford any screw ups now. That’s why he would do well to ignore that one initiate in the corner. It would be his best choice, but for some reason, it’s the one path he refuses to travel.

As if Four has ever been known for his rational thought. There’s a reason he’s not in Erudite, after all, why he scorned every faction one after another until he could only ever end up here in Dauntless. Dauntless, where at last he’s the one in power, where he’ll risk his life again and again because at least in this faction people wear their hatred firmly on their sleeves instead of hiding it behind some ambiguous political game.

Perhaps Four isn’t one for politicking, then, but that’s no surprise. He does what he pleases, he likes who he likes, and when Y/N L/N happens to glance up at him when she finishes a round in the fighting ring, she doesn’t look remotely shocked to see him looking at her again. No one is, but then again, no one notices Four’s attention except Y/N herself.

Y/N is a transfer. Y/N is an initiate. Y/N is the one person that Four really should be avoiding, but can’t seem to manage it. He doesn’t know what it is about her that keeps calling his interest back to her again and again like the snap of a hypnotist’s fingers, but his heart refuses to explain. His head has tried to make amends, but his heart keeps on traitorously beating, still seeking her out after every time Four promises himself he won’t trust that magnetic pull to her again.

She never follows up on his attention, which makes her better than him, at least. She knows the rules. She’s also a little bit afraid of him, Four thinks, which hurts him more than it should. Y/N seems to be frightened of nothing in this world but him, and that is why he can’t bear to look away. Should he glance over at her once and find her willing to stand near him, maybe he would be able to guide his breathing back to a normal state, his heartbeat to return to rest once more.

It has yet to happen, however, and Four thinks he knows why. See, he knows what he thinks when he encounters Y/N, the curious storm of emotions all centrally positive that linger around his heart, but she has absolutely no idea of that. She wouldn’t, because whenever Y/N looks at Four or any other Dauntless training instructor, she thinks not of them as people but as physical manifestations of her initiation rank. Her rank, which happens to be pretty damn close to failing.

In all his time in this world, all his experience with heroes and cowards, fighters and thinkers, Four has no idea why Y/N’s rank should be that low. He knows what his eyes see, of course; fights lost, punches not thrown, but it makes no sense to him. Four is accustomed to the dropouts of Dauntless initiation, the ones who would rather go live with the factionless than stick through training. They’re nothing like Y/N, not in the slightest.

Those kids, those unwanted former initiates, they’re afraid. All of them, they’re afraid. Terrified to throw a punch for fear of bruising their knuckles, hesitant to step in a ring lest they take more hits than they dole out. They lose before they even try, but that’s not Y/N.

Y/N is brave, like he said. Braver than Four, probably. He would love to see her fear landscape if she could manage to make it past the first round of initiation. It would probably be pretty close to empty, what from the way she stares down even the most dangerous threats without a blink of an eye. Four has a brief terror that he might open her fear landscape just for it to hold him and nothing else, but he forces that thought away just as quickly. He doesn’t know that. Nobody does.

Y/N is brave, and that’s what makes this so hard. If she had half the spirit that she does, if she flinched away from every blow like the others, Four could brush her off like the other trainees. She would blend into the crowds, and he would go throughout his life without this trial of conscience that he’s undergoing now.

That’s not the case, however. Instead, Four looks at her and he sees the strength of Dauntless, the bravery, the need to get ahead. Y/N should be at the top of the rankings, but she isn’t. Four has a theory for that, though. Despite the fact that Dauntless loves to pride itself as the equalizer, that its initiation lets anyone from any background succeed, that simply isn’t the case. At the end of the day, trainees with more experience will pick up skills far faster, and that means they’ll always win.

That’s why cruel Candor and Erudite manage to make the transition so well. Y/N lacks that experience, and so although she’s learning things at an excellent rate, she can’t beat the prior knowledge of the others. Four remembers one time in which she’s been struggling with knife throwing. He had given her one hint and just like that, she was hitting the bullseye every time.

If Four wants to keep Y/N around a while longer, that’s what it’s going to take. More of that advice, more of that help. Y/N has the ability to change this faction just like him. Four just has to make sure that she makes it through initiation long enough to make that work.

Four isn’t supposed to have favorites. He does, it’s her. That’s why, despite days of him telling himself that he won’t get involved, he finds himself making up his mind. Still facing torment in his own head, Four drops by the training room later that evening, hoping some time alone with a punching bag and his own bruised knuckles will clear up his mind.

When he opens the door and sees Y/N there still, practicing her hits, he knows then and there that he has no choice. Four walks briskly through the training hall until he’s by her side. He watches her form for a few moments more; she knows he’s there, he can tell by the stiffness of her shoulders, her guard is already up.

He speaks at last, words echoing around the spacious room. “Punch more from your own strength. You’re pushing the bag, you don’t want to do that. Snap your fist forward instead.”

Four demonstrates with one quick hit. Y/N nods, mirroring him. Four has to bite back a smile. The change is immediate. A voice in the back of his head tells him that if he just stayed a little longer, helped a little more, she’d become a better fighter overnight. It’s not hard to convince himself to linger by her side.

“Good,” he murmurs, “now, try hitting with more combinations. Four hits instead of two. You’ll disorient your opponent.”

Once again, Y/N does as he says, and once again, she does it perfectly. That’s another problem with initiation, Four thinks, it’s impossible to help every student as much as they need, what with the incoming class of transfers growing so rapidly every year.

Y/N practices a while longer, then relents, taking a step back and giving Four a quizzical look. “Why are you doing this? I mean, I appreciate the tips, but I don’t think you do this for every initiate.”

“I don’t,” Four confirms, “maybe I just want to see you win tomorrow. Is that such a surprise?”

Judging by the expression on her face, the answer would be yes. “Last time I checked, you were supposed to make sure everyone had an even playing field. I didn’t think private punching lessons were included in that.”

Four has to try his utmost to smother a laugh. “They’re not. Still, I wanted to.”

“You wanted to,” Y/N repeats contemplatively, “what, you got tired of seeing me get my ass kicked all the time? I know you watch my rounds more than the others, that must be it.”

Four swats her gently on the shoulder. He’s just as surprised about it as she is; nothing they’ve done has brought them close enough for soft friendship. Still, it feels right. Maybe that means something.

“Self-pity doesn’t treat you right,” he says, “I like it better when you’re walking around like you own the place. Sometimes I think you do.”

Y/N laughs. “And melodrama has never been your strong suit. I think I like it, though.”

Four likes it too. He raises a brow, inviting her sarcastic remarks once more. “Does that mean you’ll allow the lessons to continue? You won’t keep pushing me away with your own disbelief?”

“I’m still debating,” Y/N retorts, but she’s grinning and that makes it much better.

Four leaves the punching bag, not her; he walks to the ring instead. Climbing easily up, he extends an arm for Y/N to join him. She takes his hand without a second’s hesitation, and Four has to fight all parts of himself to hide the swarm of warmth that cloaks his insides when he realizes her fear of him is gone, if it was ever truly there at all. Perhaps he was just looking for excuses to stay away, knowing nothing would work for long.

Y/N puts up her fists, interrupting his musing. “So? Are we fighting or not?”

“Of course we are,” Four says, getting into his own opening stance.

After that, he loses himself in the even rhythm of punches and kicks, blows and strikes. Sometimes he calls out tips and tricks, other times he lets Y/N learn from what works well and what doesn’t. Even after the night ends, when their strength gives out and they both walk away with new bruises and old grins, Four knows one thing for certain:  this is not the end of Y/N’s time in Dauntless, nor her time with him. No, their story is just starting. It is one that he looks forward to with all his heart.

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