#what fucking performative bullshit
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i want to ask the general public why they feel the need to ensure that lesbians are also sexually and romantically available to men.
WHY do you feel the need to dilute the meaning of the term to make it an identity that is 1) an identity that can be used by men (and no this is not terfy trans-exclusionary rhetoric, I'm talking specifically about people who identify as men, specifically) and 2) an identity that does not exclude sexual and romantic attraction to men ask yourself why you are OH SO WILLING to literally divorce womenhood from the identity. is it actually "progressive", or is this your internalized misogyny and entitlement talking.
#some of y'all fucking HATE women#and it fucking shows#ive talked about this here sometimes#about my lamentations about how young queers have pivoted so hard as to literally reject womanhood#but this manifestation of it is...fucking sinister#what fucking performative bullshit#and to who's benefit??#yeah yeah people have a complex relationship with gender#i fucking get it lmao im a gnc masc butch#but HOW does diluting the term ive taken for myself and muddling the waters help anyone#if you told me to my face that sometimes lesbians are attracted to men#id fucking punch you
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People still having mental breakdowns about 2min having a song together all these months later is sending me. And then seeing people go "I wish this song didnt happen because its caused too much drama" it casued no drama with any normal fan? It only caused drama with the delusional faction of the fandom who are only fans because of their obsession with a "ship" who hate seungmins ass because he dared to.... make a song with his own band mate?? Hating on lee know too despite the fact they supposedly love him which lol okay <3 Anyway with all the power in my being I sincerely sincerely sincerely hope we get a 2min unit album one day. Becuase it would fuck, their voices sound perfect together but also because I'm spiteful.
#and im sure you can figure out what faction is still on this fucking bullshit#also why is the felix and han song fine by them?#same people didnt lose their mind about that but its han doing a song with someone Not Minho so by and rights shouldnt it have caused#the same fuss? but it didnt?#so can han do songs with anyone hes like bit lee know can only do stuff with han or ? is it bc its seungmin and seungmin#actually made a sentimental song with lee know and thats not allowed despite the fact seungmin has always been like this with lee know#the amount of bizarre shit i keep seeing people throw at seungmin is so like ???? hes never done anything#just ignore him if you dislike him so much 💀💀#oh my god fuck these guys they made a song that has a sweet sentiment about friendship how dare they#omg how dare they have rainbow confetti how dare they how dare they incorporate the fans into their performance how dare they#<< ?
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all vinegar no honey
#genuinely deranged ass assignment#i keep thinking this over and over but dennis reynolds youd love being a home inspector#every fucking time i read some shit abt how being a good home inspector is about putting on a performance/acting im like uh huh#oh you need to Maintain Control and not *lie* but be choosy with truths and how to deliver them#i don't even know if dennis would be particularly Good at this (theres So much that can throw you off your social script) but like#i think they were onto something w honey and vinegar truly i think he'd be a decent agent and a good inspector#in a familiar situation i think he'd be good at maintaining this sort of 'dont worry about it i have it under control'#in the most fake it til you make it way#and that's. like you dont even necessarily need to Know anything about what youre talking about#you basically just need to make sure the client doesn't distrust you enough to question it#inherently deceptive profession where you're sort of a jack of all trades and master of none#when in doubt just say you should probably get that looked at by a specialist lol#in the context of sunny i think itd be hilarious to have the gang walking through peoples houses and pointing to obvious disrepair#like yeah i think that's gotta get looked at#burst pipe gushing water -> camera pulls back to show charlie standing up to his waist in sewage#am i giving away the game here. hire me to look at your furnace or whatever i can tell you if there's rust on it#ada speaks#the one thing is that dennis is so bad at bullshitting i think anybody would catch on he had no idea what he was talking about#but if he was genuinely informed like he is with psychology i think he'd be able to manage questions being lobbed at him#at least well enough to deflect without losing credibility#inspector inspection
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Zheng Qiyuan & Xu Junshuo - 《哪裡都是你 | Everywhere Is You》 (Super Vocal S2 Finale)
Still one of my favourite SRRX performances of all time. A little bittersweet that this had to be the last duet these two would sing onstage during the competition, but they made it a beautiful one
#and what if i went back on my srrx2 bullshit. what then#god this duet fucks me up so bad! it feels like i'm intruding on something personal. i remember crying the first few times i watched it#also btw it's crazy that you can't find this performance on youtube anymore OR zqy and xjs's performance of 榮耀爲我臣服#might upload that here next. we'll see#c-variety hell#声入人心#super vocal#zheng qiyuan#xu junshuo#video#music#ashton originals#srrx
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You know I think there is something interesting to say in terms of where the fuck WxS is going because like
I think WxS is the only unit where the end goal or overall progression is probably the most unknown out of all of them ???
MMJ and VBS are extremely obvious, they both have the most explicit goals that are said to us in a straightforward way
25-ji, in the end we know the main goal at the end will be for all of the characters to go over their hurdles with Mafuyu finally being able to find herself and move forward
Leo/need is probably the closest in terms of vagueness but we know the end goal is clear for them to grow as a band, probably ending in a big concert or something along those lines
But with WxS...like I guess the closest thing I can see to an end goal is all of WxS preparing a show together with everyone playing their part but that definitely doesn't feel like something you'd build up for an entire arc and definitely not something that feels fitting after the emotional turmoil that was the disbandement arc ???
In terms of physical achievements as well they literally revived an entire parc through one gigantic show, so it just comes into question what they can do now.
Then you look at their first few event for this arc considering usually the first event kinda set up what will be planned for the future but it's...weird.
Yeah, Tsukasa and Rui's events set up they're inexperienced and how they will grow in the future but also there is this weird feeling of something feeling off ?
The plays/scripts all are strangely depressing, the play in Tsukasa's event being about a failed writer planning to drown himself (which I believe is one of the only undeniable explicit description of suicide ever in the game?????) and the second being someone whose given up on life meeting their estranged sister only for her to become ill.
We even have Emu's side story in Rui's event where they watched the movie Rin was watching during the event made by the same producer and Emu herself note how depressing the story is (meanwhile the main character of the movie clearly parallels Rui)
We don't see the conclusion of these in-game stories as well, lingering on their worst moment never really seeing the presumably happy conclusion.
THEN we also have Emukasa fes which....again strangely different in tone from what you'd expect a WxS fes card, they're not really all that conclusive either. Tsukasa never aknowledges how he relates to the brother in the story and Emu doesn't really get a conclusion on her grief.
Then we also have Rui's entire fuckign event with the cards and his cyberpunk deadbo-YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING
The closest we fucking have to knowing what WxS's fucking endgoal towards the story is, is fucking WL which....TELLS US NOTHING
At least with VBS we know that they're goal is to go even further beyond and conquer the whole world, that is a developpement of their goal.
What I'm saying is I don't know what the fuck colorpalet is cooking wiht WxS but I feel like i'm a fucking twilight zone reading the way they're writing WxS now because I can't be the only one feeling insane at how weird all of this is
#wxs#wonderlandxshowtime#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#wxs prsk#wxs pjsk#reading this fucking unit feels like i'm stuck in a strange hell dimension where everything just feels like foreshadowing or some kind of#fucking wink colorpalet is oding at me like it's not the first time they've done insane foreshadowing with wxs#in fact its the norm#i wish i could know what goes on in their head when they write these clowns cos i swear i can't understand what the fuck they're doing#like with other units i can geyt like a general idea#but like WxS ????#they could go literally anywhere with them#i guess going to broadway could be like a huge goal but like ?????#it doesn't FEEL WxS yknow ?#especially after the disbandement arc which we technically haven't gotten really a conclusion for because...Emu's still gonna come back ??#So like what do we do when Emu comes back to Pheonix Wonderland ?????????????#Cos I do think WxS would want to come back to perform but ESPECIALLY nene's dreams are kind of incompatible with that#cos we know she wants to perform all over the world like her idol#It's just#I guess I'm waiting to see what kind of unholy bullshit colorpalet has for us after the pain that was the disbandement arc#i was also tired while writing this so if this seems extremely rambly thats why#i'm just losing my mind
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ugh. another thing about the Shield is the way the 3 of them are still haunting each other. The way Seth betrayed both of them to make it to the very top, but to this day still lives in the shadow left by Roman Reigns (both in kayfabe and outside it), the way Mox keeps doing Seth's curb stomp, the way Roman is again betrayed by a chair to the back, the way he and Seth have to talk around Dean's absence, the very first time Seth betrayed them and left that unfillable gap between Dean and Roman.
#i cant believe im obsessed with this 2012 ass bullshit#hate this for me#what seth says about living in roman's shadow is one of those things that's not kayfabe and also kayfabe. yeah#i didn't really want to get into it in the post but yeah#mox continuing to perform seth's curb stomp actually fucking gets me though. ugh#im reading mox and he doesn't really talk about roman and seth individually too much#but. yeah it's good stuff#the shield#seth rollins#roman reigns#jon moxley#dean ambrose#jrestling#jeta posting#seth meta
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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Considering unfollowing half my dash for uncritically reblogging the "reblog with your book obsession as a teen but lol not Harry Potter" post because oh boy! You have to renounce it even retroactively! Harry Potter being something you loved back in 2000-and-fucking-1 is ✨taboo and gross✨ haha
#I hate everyone#you are not a bad person for having loved Harry Potter this is all performative purity culture bullshit and you can do better#by all means don't give Moldemort more money now that we all *know* what she's about#but disavowing having had any love for the series over twenty fucking years ago is unhelpful to say the least#'but your beloved mutuals-' no I hate you all right now thank you
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actually going to lose my shit at my secondary job. why are you, a professional teaching institution, doing a worse job at communicating and not screwing people over than my other job, a dodgy ass cafe. like WHAT.
#i’m so frustrated#like yeah. cafe is minimum wage and sometimes i get the impression that everything’s a bit of a mess bts.#but hey! at least i get shifts!!! and my boss actually tells me what’s going on!!!!#whereas teaching institution is a mess.#promised me a certain number of hours a week and then have still not gotten me to that point yet.#said that any shows/performances outside of regular hours will be paid. i just got an email asking if i can VOLUNTEER for like 7 things.#pays more per hour but as i said. doesn’t give me any hours.#and then gets confused about how many hours i’m doing and underpays me.#LIKE IM SO. godddd. what the fuck is going on.#getting that volunteering email has sent me over the edge. you want me to work for FREE#when i’m currently actively LOSING MONEY because you’re not letting me do the things i was hired to do????#and like yeah. when i got this job i knew it was more for experience than money.#like i was aware. i’m 19 i’m living with my parents and it seemed like a good opportunity.#i knew it wasn’t going to be as many hours as working at the cafe 5 days a week. that’s fine. whatever.#but i was expecting my combined earnings to kind of plateau. not be GOING DOWN RAPIDLY.#i’m so fucking pissed. but i signed a contract for this year so i’ve got to fucking do it.#i’m going to have to talk to my immediate supervisor today because i CANNOT do this. this is so bullshit.#thank you for listening to me rant about getting screwed over by my job! needed to get that out there!!! i’m going to scream!!!!!!!
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#tag talk#BY THE WAY: I'm not necessarily anti-meds or anti-psychiatry. or at least not generally as a worldview#it's one of those “my truth is not necessarily your truth” things. I fucking hate being dependent on anything from meds to medical help#and I'm constantly determined to do everything myself (yes I'm learning how to temper this with asking for help when I need it)#funnily enough the only place I've really found on reddit where this attitude is accepted/agreed with is the schizoid sub because it's a#a bunch of people with like little to no drive to reach out to others or to ever get help and toxic independence traits#which honestly feels very comfortable to me. the bipolar sub is very against anyone being anti-treatment (which makes sense I guess since#since severe bipolar will absolutely fuck your life up without treatment so pushing an anti-psychiatry view there could have harm)#and the bodymod sub doesn't allow diy work at all (yada yada safety concerns) which I understand on a moderation level but is still annoyin#idk. if I were serious enough to genuinely need meds or more therapy I would stay on it. but I can do it myself so I will do it myself.#people are like “but you don't have to struggle on your own uwu” I'm not. I have a 3 friends and I'm happy with that. I know how to ask for#for help now. it's a skill I deliberately learned and now I'm not so isolated. but I also don't want to deal with bullshit with#with limited efficacy. I'm going to do it my way or not at all. is that needlessly stubborn of me? probably. will that knowledge change#change how I do anything? absolutely not. I don't care. I can and have sabotaged myself in resistance to being told what to do.#and I will do it again. I don't give a fuck. I'm not caving to anyone or anything.#my work denied my time-off request for an upcoming family wedding and I was seriously considering going in and threatening to quit over it#but I thought it through and realized I didn't Really wanna go to the wedding anyway? it's just performative family bonding. there's only#only like two people there I would want to see anyway so I decided it wasn't really worth fighting over.#but next time I actually give a shit about the time off I'm going in and sitting down and fighting for real. because I'm not#not about to be told what I can and can't do by my fucking job. especially when I put in the time off well ahead of when I needed to#I'm just rambling now. anyway. I'm annoyed cause my phone didn't charge last night cause I put the charger wrong so it was on 15% this morn#so i"m stuck using tumblr desktop version yeuck#tragic: local girl forced to get dressed and sit up straight to check tumblr instead of lying in bed cozily on his phone.
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my sister's boyfriend is the music president of the school and every time she starts telling me about their silly little music club drama I get so many glee club flashbacks. I've said it before and I'll say it again bro is literally living in high school musical jesus
#THEY'RE ALL SO DRAMATIC AND EGOISTIC LMFAOOO#and they're all always fighting over getting a solo it's so funny#unfortunately my sister has zero interest in their bullshit and knows everything she does about them against her will#so she told me the story until the climax and i was like. wait. THEN WHAT HAPPENED#and she was like dude idfc im so tired of all of them they keep acting like five year olds#._.#and she's house captain so she has to approve all the performers from her house or smth#but it's so fucking funny her boyfriend is the funniest mf on the planet istg they're sooooooo benvi coded#this was what my musicians (derogatory) post was about yesterday btw.#NOT about my ex best friend the most Evil musician in the world for once crazy i know#although i did keep getting war flashbacks#liveblogging.pdf
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Also I hate how there's so little feminist consciousness in the zeitgeist nowadays. Like for the mostpart people have a vague awareness that 'sexism bad' but there's so little ability to actually identify when things are sexist and why. There's so little recognition that misogyny is a genuine force of oppression. And what feminist consciousness does exist is utterly impotent, regardless of the form it takes.
#catgirltxt#like goddamn there is no feminist movement anymore#the metoo movement was i'd say the last big upsurge of feminism (at least in the west) and it's been dead for years#fucking *gestures at johnny depp trial*#what even do we have left#just vague corporate bullshit made to get you to buy product but with a half baked feminist veneer#and the inner goddess feminine energy type nonsense which is the other failstate of liberal feminism#i guess there's a streak of female empowerment type stuff that's emerged from all that recently#but that tends to be pretty bioessentialist and also of the 'performing femininity is empowering' type shit#radical feminism is somewhat prominent nowadays but it's mostly flimsy ideological justification for the anti trans movement#and partially flimsy ideological justification for policies that harm sex workers
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i haven't heard from my boss about my shifts this week which i assume means i have none. should i just fucking quit
#i don't want to give them what they want but i don't want to deal with them anymore either#bc if they fire me they have to go through head office and admit it's because i'm too old and expensive#and if they say my performance isn't satisfactory or whatever i can call bullshit bc i got employee of the month right before they took over#and i was waiting until i got a new job but a) i would get more jobseeker money if i quit. and b) i fucking hate working there now#idk. nobody has to read this i just needed to put down some thoughts somewhere#i'll decide after christmas#shut up claire
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Okay... So I am Genderqueer.
Sometimes, I am female
Oftentimes, I'm male
Most times, I'm N/A
Occasionally, I'm both or all of the above
I was feeling kinda female today right?
Well, when I'm female, I usually feel disgusting, and it's songs like this one that really hammer it home. I'm not comfortable being female because I always feel pressured to perform a certain way. I always feel ogled, and it just makes me feel gross, and I hate it.
There's a post I saw about menstruation and the stains and stigma that come along with it.
I love dresses and skirts and the color pink, but I don't feel girl enough or pretty enough or skinny enough to perform as Girl... I don't like being so far removed from my AGAB, I don't hate being female.
I hate how it feels to be female.
#but tbf#i hate how it feels to be Other#and I want to celebrate me and all of me.... and I can't#amd thats what I hate#luke bryan#is disgusting#and I mean it with all I have#im sick of it#gender#genderqueer#female#male#nonbinary#transgender#feelings#i really wanna get some transfems opinions on feeling female#i also want cisfems feelings#because its so complicated l#it shouldn't be like this#it shouldnt be this complicated#females shouldnt have to perform#i shouldnt have to scroll through comments from nasty incels telling people they need to lose weight when they themselves weigh more#we shouldnt have to be subjected to people manipulating photos of us in order for us to be more 'attractive'#fuck sakes#gods bless#transfems#seriously... yall are really carrying a heavy load#i know theres an opposite side to this coin involving all the bullshit men and transmen deal with but#not right now#im just reporting what I see
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🦐...
#making another bullshit post because i dont have anyone to talk to and talking in the tags is comforting as fuck for some reason#so here we go. hi gang dave here how are we doing tonight#sparkle off its thurday forget who you are yk how it goes#im so tired man ive had such a long week its been good but so fucking long you know like holy shit stuff just all the time#had a choir performance which was pretty badass#ive gotten further in rereading homestuck just watched me and my bro hug it out which was great#stridercest nation rise up#went to the dentist showed him my sick ass wisdom tooth necklace and he loved it and he took a billion pictures#gonna go to a new therapy support group thing try it out see how it goes maybe ill like it maybe i wont#these are just kind of life updates cause idk its weird to have shit happen and then just never talk about it to anyone really#been drawing a lot lately its nothing super cool but im having fun with it#i watched trolls 3 again tonight what a fucking fantastic movie cinema is alive and well#branch reminds me of karkat so much and its hilarious like thats just the same guy#i tried making hummus tonight but fucked it up it was too sour but no big ill try again another time#idk i think thats all ive got to say. thanks for tuning in see you next time
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#stolen from kyle bosmans switch 2 hot takeaways vid#WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNN $80 FOR SWITCH 2 EDITIONS WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING BROOOOO#nah fuck this they got me fucked up w this bullshit#how are you gonna charge $80 for totk w better performance and a notes app on the smartphone like goddamn#mario party with eyetoy support is also nuts to me like damn theyre fumbling so hard w these prices#at least kirby comes w new shit but like oh my god this shit is fucking dire#ok just had a naked guy in my breezeway freaking out trying to get into my apartment and threw him some clothes from the balcony#i think he got locked out of his apartment somehow but oh boy he was scared and that made me scared#he seemed ok once i got him some clothes but man that was v scary for a second there#wooh that got the heart pumping#alright naked guy clearly got kicked out of his apartment and is now camping w his stuff outside of it#uh oh
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