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filthforfriends · 2 years ago

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Shame and Pleasure

(Previously known as DILFiano)

CW: 24 year age gap!

Word count: 4.7k

Damia’s voice has some sort of hypnotic quality. It lulls you into a state where other thoughts are quieted, and your scope of focus narrows to sensation. Without thinking about it, you surge forward and hug Damia, slotting your face against the bone of his shoulder. Unintentionally, your unfiltered gratitude is what finally gets to him.

“Stellina, I want to do this a little differently.” His hand is gone so quickly that your body doesn’t know to stop moving with it. For a moment, you’re thrusting against the air. Even without the cliroral stimulation, you were wound so god damn tight. Damia doesn’t wipe his fingers off. He crawls up to the headboard and arranges pillows behind his back so casually. Poise. You can’t help but feel betrayed. Bringing you so close to orgsam then pausing was mean.

“Do you understand that we can stop whenever you want?” You nod, confused. “Are you absolutely sure you want to continue? I need a verbal answer for that.”

“Yes,” you state firmly.

“Take your skirt off so I can admire you.” Heart racing, you attempt to control your trembling hands on the zipper, but he sees. Damia waits for your face to reveal uncertainty while you strip. He observes none because there's none to observe. In fact, it's exactly the pointed attention you’d been craving. Damia opens the drawer in his bedside table. You take off the bra first, hoping he’ll look up to admire your underwear, that his breath will catch at all the expanses of taut and supple skin. Instead, his attention stays on the contents of the drawer.

“Someones not very appreciative,” you tease. He spares an insultingly brief glance and gaffs.

“Cheap lingerie loses its thrill after your 20s.” Damiano freezes completely and winces. “Sorry, that…Christ, I’m sorry.” You can see his brain recalibrating to parental/nurturer to assess the damage he’d cause to your confidence. Admittedly, the snub stung, but reassurance wasn’t something women his age needed. So you didn’t need it either.

“You know what else lost its thrill? Razor wire in my asscrack. I’m never wearing those again.” He lets out a short series of awkward, barking laughs while you take a seat on the edge of the mattress. Damia appears mystified at how well you’re handling his slight. He's trying to see through the cracks in your facade and you're praying he can’t.

“Apparently I forgot that being an insensitive asshole is also supposed to stay in your 20s,” he sighs, cocking his head to the side. “God, what a dumb thing to say.”.

“So…” you probe.

“I won’t kiss you,” he states absolutely. You make a dramatic sound of indignation. “So now that I’ve fucked up your arousal and the mood –” Playful, he draws out the first syllable of the sentence just as you had.

“There was a mood?” you chirp, crawling towards him. Recognizing it was an accidental admission. Damia leans over and checks Icarus’ location, which is very promising. He lets out a burdened sigh.

“Yes, there was a mood. C’mon, don’t be coy.” As Damia sits up, you move onto his lap. “Woah! Okay,” he throws his hands up.

“Want me to get off?”

“No,” he whines, like he’d prefer his answer to be a lie. “Well, I – hmm. This isn’t what I had planned.” Accidentally, you’ve switched the dynamic. This was the first time you’d seen Damiano more present than tortured. If you had control that meant, however much he may deny it, Damia had allowed you to. So you settle yourself in a straddle. Very slowly, Damia’s hands lower and come to rest timidly on your thighs.

“Will you take your clothes off?”

“Absolutely not,” he answers curtly. That rule was clearly nonnegotiable. Testing exactly where the boundaries lay, you lower a hand to Damia’s groin. The pajamas are navy so it takes a second to find his cock. He’s so hard he’s throbbing, which is no small achievement at 42, you’ve heard. Damia swats your hand away, refusing to meet your eyes.

“This isn’t about me.”

“This is about both of us. Stop kicking yourself for getting hard.” He shakes his head and looks away, scowling. “It's a natural reaction to stimulation, not a condemnation of your character, Damia. Fuck’s sake, be decent to yourself.”

“Wise words,” he replies, cynically. He is so clearly overwhelmed with self-loathing that it hurts to watch. A better person would leave rather than make him face this.

“Why can’t I touch you?”

“Because we aren’t going to have sex!” he snaps. That wounds you quicker than you can control your expression.

“But what the fuck am I supposed to do? Nothing? That’s cruel. Maybe I could be a decent human being and resist this if, if — you, I…” He tilts his head back and growls in frustration. “I didn’t even know you could make love to someone’s hand.” Now you’re the one plagued by self-consciousness. “If I hadn’t ruined it, you’d be able to grind on my hand to completion. Like…” Damia is so in awe that he’s speechless. He’s also damn near hysterical. It’s such a juxtaposition to your emotions at the moment. Damia’s burning shame morphs into a tingling sensation between your legs, just as fiery.

“You’re so pent and you desperately need someone to take care of you. So then what? I just send you off into the night for some high schooler that doesn’t know his herpes status or some college guy who treats you like you’re disposable? ”

“I already did go off into the night and pick someone.” You scoot closer to Damiano and watch that settle in.

“Your ability to always say the right things is gonna get you in so much trouble.”

“I wanna be in trouble with you.” Another car drives by. Another piece of Damiano is illuminated by a slant of light. This one is jaded, dissatisfied with a life he knows should bring him joy. In reality, that life acts like an echo in an empty room, a reminder of how vast the unfulfilled spaces within him are.

“Why can’t I kiss you?”

“What I had in mind –”

“I know. But right now, why can’t I kiss you?” You lean in close enough to touch lips and stop. Damia clearly wanted to, but he had to instigate.

“I don’t know how I’ll feel about it.” His breath hits your face as he whispers.

“Last time –”

“Last time was amazing, but I’m afraid it will feel wrong. Guilt and arousal are opposites for me.” He clears his throat roughly. “Which is why it can’t happen.”

“Okay,” you switch to a whisper. “Could we start small and see how you feel?”

“I…yeah. Or, no! Fuck.” He sighs heavily and closes his eyes. “I shouldn’t be doing this at all. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can’t believe –” You grab his hand and push it between your legs. “Oh my god…you’re already wet again.” You press your foreheads together and nod. Damia drags his middle finger between your labia, cupping your vulva to apply gratifying pressure. Meanwhile you kiss his neck.

“Do you like licking?”

“Licking, biting, but not hard scratching.” You run your tongue up the column of his neck and trap his earlobe between your teeth. Very slowly, you pull downwards with your mouth and Damia shudders while he finally moans. Your tongue traces the shell of his ear, running behind it as well. It finally hits you that this is Damia inside your mouth. No, it's not as you had hoped, but the fact of it happening at all was mind blowing.

With every taste of salty skin, you said a little prayer, worshiping at Damiano’s altar. Some greater force, may it be sexual chemistry or supernatural, had brought you here. Cherishing and savoring Damia in every way possible was the only option you’d ever consider. Just the reassuring pressure of his hand made you pussy throb.

Having covered his neck, you start using your hands. One caresses where your tongue had already been, and the other pushed Damia’s hair back from his face. You kiss from jaw to hairline, not pecks, but slow and open-mouthed. Your body sways upwards with each inhale, each kiss, and downwards which each exhale, each parting of skin. There's nothing to grind against, but keeping time with the ebb and slow of sensuality just intuitively made sense.

When you switch to the otherside, Damia stops you, his hand on your jaw, thumb on your chin. He holds your face completely still, and is totally stationary himself. Only his eyes move, and rapidly. Those two seconds last your entire lifetime.

He pulls you in, loses courage, but the forward momentum has already been established. In the spirit of starting slow, the first kiss is chaste. Lips meet, then part. That’s all. Your eyes fly open, but Damia’s remain closed as he thinks. The hand between your legs pulls away. For a moment your stomach drops, but then you feel that arm wrap itself tightly around your lower back.

This next kiss is just as demure, except Damia pulls your entire body against his. It’s that breath-taking physical intimacy from the rooftop, forceful, but on the right side of two much. Damia knew how to handle a woman. He didn’t touch you like you like there were 24 years of separation.

“No.” He shakes his head, brow furrowed, pulling back.

“Yes,” you insist, surging forward. “100% yes.” Instead of freezing up, you remember to embrace him back. The next kiss is so slow that the skin of your lips stick together as you pull away.

“Cazzo,” he grunts, eyes squeezed shut. “Are you sure?”

“So fucking sure.” You press your chest to his and the skin to skin contact changes everything. “Absolutely positive,” you moan. Your nipples harden against Damia’s sternum, body waiting in rapture for a caress or so much as a puff of air from a sigh. You’re left feral and clawing at him, mewling in an effort to achieve more contact. Damia’s chest hair tickled your nipples as they became so hard you whined in discomfort, rubbing against his warm sternum.

You’re so overcome that Damia has to use his thumb to tug at the corner of your lips. As soon as you remember to open your mouth, Damiano's tongue is inside. The force of the kiss is literally bending you backwards. Rather than resist, you open your mouth completely and turn your head to eliminate the possibility of space. Total compliance. Allowing Damia to mold your body’s shape has an unique effect on him. Or perhaps it's your breast tissue that he so badly wants to feel with his tongue.

Either way, his self control shatters. Damia forces you onto your back via his height advantage. His body lands on top of yours in missionary position and he groans in satiation, pulling the sound from as deep as his toes. You shrink into the mattress, both intimidated and overwhelmed with excitement.

Damia’s teeth sink into the soft tissue on the inside of your bottom lip. Instead of pulling back you take the pain and squeal. His hips buck in response, clothed cock against your naked cunt. The sound you make is loud enough to remind Damia that he needed to employ critical thinking.

“This is why I can’t kiss you,” he gasps, pulling away. The babbling starts before your brain has even decided what you want to say.

“No! Please, please, please. No, it's okay. It’s – you can’t stop. You have to keep going. Damia! Damia, please don’t – god please, please don’t just stop. You can’t, Damia you can’t –” He kisses you once more to silence the begging.

“Shh, shh. Tesorina, let me help, hmm?” He sits back, pulling you up with him after settling his weight. Your movement is disjointed. It feels like you’re still in that moment, where you were exactly two layers of fabric away from Damia making love to you. How could that moment just end? How could he act like it was anything less than earth-shattering? He’s situated against the headboard again before he realizes how shell-shocked you are.

“Sweetheart, come here,” Damia beckons, firmly. You crawl upwards, tripping on his legs before he spreads them wide. He pats the space right in front of him. You kneel there, so aroused and confused and pent up that you might cry or scream.

“Turn around. Back to my chest.” It's awkward and unflattering to reposition. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you whiplash. Just sit down and let me.” Damai wraps both tattooed arms around you, and drags you closer. Encircled in his grasp, his upper body curled over to fit perfectly against your spine, lips to your cheek, yes you understood now. It was so much more intimate than you had expected.

Damia wanted to watch. He wanted to watch his hands touch you. Penetrate inside of you. He wanted to watch how wet you got. A vibrant color in your peripheral vision catches your attention. It’s one of a couple dozen sex toys in the open drawer. He follows your line of sight.

“Still a yes?” It was intimidating, but not a deterrent.

“Yes,” you pant. One of his hands wanders downwards. The anticipation throbbed in your cunt. You minutely roll your hips up to meet Damia’s touch, turning your gaze upward, because watching the act made you squirm. Impatient didn’t begin to cover it. More like you wanted to peel your first layer of skin off in anticipation. His fingers massaged your vulva, circled your hyman, spreading your pre-cum because he liked the way your pussy glistened.

“Touch me, touch me,” you grunt in frustration. “It hurts.” Your cunt was so engorged that the throbbing was painful. You didn’t deserve the teasing, had barely survived these weeks of anticipation.

“It’s not fair,” you exclaim in anguish, and it’s not as if you could push his hand downward. Damia was already there. You’d never looked at yourself this way, so directly. Masturbating was always done under the comforter.

“Stellina, what's not fair?” he coos, then kisses your ear. You whine and buck, frustrated that none of the bedding was sturdy enough for grabbing to externalize intense sensation. Something rips.

“Ugh,” you growl. “I’m sorry, it’s just hhhuuh –” Damia pushes two fingers inside. All the way inside, so his hand is flush against your body. His left arm acts as a seatbelt while you tremble. Damia thrusts his digits in and out and your body makes embarrassing, wet noises again.

“My fault. I’m accustomed to teasing being a necessity. But you’re so responsive…” Damia rests his chin on your shoulder and drops his other hand to your pussy. He has the perfect vantage point to get exactly on your clit. It's unlike any sensation you’ve felt. A lightning bolt in your pelvis, more pain than pleasure. You yelp, leaning forward, and closing your legs tight enough to trap Damia. Whether it be to maintain the stimulation or quell its intensity, you do not know.

He follows, so you’re still chest to back. Even with his hands immobilized, Damia can still make tiny motions against your clit. Finally reduced to an animal, you hiss and kick the blanket off the bed as energy tightens around your hips.

“Stellina, relax,” he commands. You cross your knees and squeeze tighter, instead, rubbing your legs together to increase the stimulation. Pleasure it is, then. Your body had decided. With a tremendous exhale you release him, sitting upright. Damia continues to pay attention to your clit. His fingers curl towards your belly button again, internally. It’s not even distinctly enjoyable, just powerful and orgasmic. Could a person be so turned on that they couldn't feel pleasure?

Watching Damia’s hands becomes too visceral, so you lean your head back onto his shoulder and trust his skill set. Meanwhile, one of your fists is colliding with the fitted sheet and the other has found its way to gripping Damia’s thigh, sliding on the fabric of his pajama pants. This does absolutely nothing to anchor you amidst the stimulation. It only adds to the reservoirs of energy that you’ll be forced to externalize, whose pressure is mounted by Dami’s insistent clitorial stimulation. You’re reduced to damn near drowning in a sensation that can only be called So Good It Hurts.

“So close, but I can’t….I can’t, my – mm ah.” Damia switches his legs from being outside yours to inside. When your body tries to cramp down, he keeps you spread open and continues pleasuring you. The arm responsible for internal stimulation wraps around your ribs and holds you close, so every inch of your naked back is pressed to Damia’s.

“Take your time,” he murmurs. Damia’s hold you secure, left hand brushing his fingertips across your erect nipple. A troubled whine is your best attempt at communicating that you don’t want to take your time. Instead, Damia pinches your nipple, twists, and pulls. Finally, you’re submerged in orgasam and it doesn’t feel like drowning at all. It feels like breaking the surface.

While cumming, you tense so hard it turns into convulsions. Then you nearly outright scream.

“Yes, sweetheart, be as loud as you want,” he encourages. This was so the opposite of teenage boys, shushing you because their parents might hear. Damiano curled forward when you did, relaxed back with a sigh when you did, but his finger on your clit never stopped.

“Uh ah, oh my god. Wha –’” gasp. “What you, are you doing?” Damia chuckles in your ear and lets go of your waist. He reaches into the drawer and pulls out a magenta vibrator. It's unintimidating, only about four inches long.

“Keeping momentum.” Damia replaces his pointer finger with the head of the toy, which was still turned off. “Still a yes? Are you still sure?”

“Mm, mhm.” The surface of the vibrator was so smooth and the material almost soft. It must be really high grade silicone. You nod, still struggling to catch your breath.

“I need a –”

“Yes!” you exclaim, interrupting him. Even so, when you check on Damia, it's clear he’s beating himself up again. Reconfirming consent had pulled his mind away elsewhere and finding the right words with a throbbing pussy was challenging.

“Hey, I said yes to doing this to you.” He returns his focus with a tortured smile.

“I know sweetheart, your enthusiasm is noted.”

“So why aren’t you here?” At first, Damia is preparing a counterpoint, but then he’s just genuinely shocked. “Get out of your own head. Be with me,” you huff. His ministrations between your legs briefly falter and you fear the worst, but his pointer and middle fingers return. You hear a barely audible click. The vibrator turns on with a quiet buzzing sound.

“I assume you’ve never used a sex toy before, and the first time can be really powerful.”

“Never,” you whisper.

“So we’re gonna do a lot of talking. This is the lowest setting.” The vibrator hovers in the air, creating unbearable suspense. “This is how it feels,” he narrates. Instead of applying the toy to your clit, Damia brings it to your lower stomach. You tense from the novelty of the sensation, but after that passes, it's really gentle. He moves it back and forth, then further down, onto your pubic mound.

“I’m okay, keep going.” Finally, he brings the silicone head against your clit, making clockwise motions. It’s like the normal pangs of pleasure one gets from clitoral stimulation, but less powerful, and on a much greater scale. He switches to counterclockwise rotations, stimulating the nerves in the opposite direction.

“One or two?” he murmurs.

“One, please,” you pant. The “please” makes his cock jump and Damia pretends that you can’t feel it, even as the sensation makes you grin. He tries stationary and making smaller circles, as well as moving vertically and horizontally. After each, he checks in for your preference. Discerning what felt best was difficult, because all the sensations were incredible.

“Higher.” The buzz goes up in pitch and you jump as soon as it touches you. “Christ,” you pant.

“Do you wanna go back down or be gradual on this setting?” He’s already adjusted it back to the lowest setting.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly, breathless.

“You don’t know if you want to continue?”

“Ugh no,” you groan, with an eye roll. “I don’t know how to cum twice. It feels like I’m full of, like, lightning or something.”

“Full of lightning sounds like you’re about to cum.” Damia turns the vibrator back up a notch and you both want to thank him perfusing and curse him out.

“No, it’s barely been, unhh…we were trying stuff and – oh my fuck.” This orgasam felt more challanging than the last one.

“The longer you touch yourself, the more blood flows to that area. So it actually gets more sensitive over time, which makes it easier to cum.”

“Momentum,” you gasp.

“Yes. I’ve been stimulating your clit continuously which certainly isn’t a chore with someone so god damn responsive,” he growls. That tone of voice belonged to a part of Damia that he’d never allowed you to see before. You run towards it with open arms.

“Tell me.”

“Tell you how much of a greedy piece of shit I am for taking these first times all for myself?”

“God, yes.” Your chest heaves as it struggles to adequately oxygenate your body. “My nipples,” you beg. Damia brings his left hand up to your neglected breast. It's rougher than you expected. He digs his blunt fingernails in while twisting. Then flicks the hardened nipple upon releasing and pinches it very firmly. You let your head fall back. Gravity is gone and things feel too floaty to hold yourself upright. He’s so solid behind you, watching every reaction.

Somehow, you’re able to meet his eyes and now Damia can’t look elsewhere. Locked in, he has to watch you cum. He aches as your eyes fall closed and your mouth open. Damia can feel your hands clawing at him and he manages to find your right and holds securely. It's your face that makes it possible to live with himself: peace, bliss. How amoral could it be? How disgusting could he be if he gave you this?

When you cum everything tenses with a vengeance, but the release is quicker and more profound. You see twinkling sparkles against the black backdrop of your closed eyelids. Those wells of nervous energy are as empty as they’ve been in years. It's like you can breathe for the first time, except you can’t breathe at all. The stimulation is gone, but your clit still beats with your heart’s frantic rhythm.

“Catch your breath, sweetheart. You’re okay.” Every effort comes out as a gasp. Damia wraps both arms around you, and shimmy’s down so he’s on the mattress. Laying naked on his bare chest, in his bed, as he calms you down from orgasam doesn’t even seem real. This moment belongs in your fantasy life and the cognitive dissonance is intense.

“Inhale, exhale,” he chants, rubbing your back. “Inhale, exhale,” is timed with his own breathing, which raises and lowers your head. Realizing that he’ll misconstrue this as a trauma reaction, you are very studious in evening out your breathing.

“I’m really not having a panic attack. It was so good that I actually saw stars, I swear to god!” Damia snorts and you’re relieved not to find him amidst a moral crisis.

“You saw stars because you hold your breath when you cum,” he laughs. “We would have kept going if I wasn’t worried about you passing out.”

“Oh…” You're unsure whether to feel embarrassed about this subconscious habit. It had cost you orgsams from Damia, so the automatic response is vehement hatred. Judging his reaction while unable to see his expression was impossible, so you sit up and straddle his torso.

“Don’t worry, it’s common,” Damia chuckles and casually rubs your flank, face unchanging. Was it subconscious? Was it just meant to be a casual, comforting gesture between lovers?

“What should I do?” you manage to say.

“Well it can be a stress thing," he replies, thoughtfully. “You can also practice by yourself. The right partner might also be really helpful.” Your expression gives you away and Damia is backpedaling before you’ve said a word. “No! No, absolutely not. This is never happening again,” he declares with finality. Placing both hands on your hips, Damiano guides you off of his lap and to the edge of the bed. You stand with your eyes stinging from rejection.

“You do know that I don’t expect you to be my boyfriend or some shit? I’m attracted to you, you’re attracted to me. I am more than capable of discretion. We’re both consenting adults, but you make it into this exhausting moral quandary.” He’s wide-eyed and taken aback, even sitting upright to conversate.

“I didn’t recognize that you were such a realist,” Damia admits, astonished. “But to be clear, for me this is some exhausting moral quandary, and you are far too intelligent for me to explain why.”

“I don’t want some high school boy who doesn’t know his herpes status or some college guy that's gonna treat me like I’m disposable,” you counter, using Damiano’s own words against him.

“Y/n.” he holds his hand up. “Your friend’s father is not the alternative.” There's nothing to say, because you’re both right. For a moment you just stare while tension wraps a hand around each throat.

“It’s absurd for me to have any expectations of you. I apologize and you’ve been so…” you search for the least controversial adjective, “generous.”

“It's nice to see you act your age for once, actually,” he huffs. The man that had growled in your ear and watched your pussy leave a wet spot on the bedding was gone. To fill his place, a new iteration of Damia had been created for your benefit alone. He was a nurturer who didn’t entertain false pretenses about this connection being normal. How many mirages could Damiano make before forgetting how to experience his own thoughts and feelings altogether?

“You understand that I can’t let you leave this room thinking that this is going to happen again?”

“Yes,” you reply in monotone.

“Alright.” He stands with a groan and picks your bra, underwear, and miniskirt off of the floor. In the meantime you retrieve your shirt from the otherside of the bedroom and pull it on. It's strange how a person can go from having three fingers inside to avoiding your hands touching as he passes clothes over. A hint of magenta in your peripheral vision catches your attention. The vibrator still lay in the sheets, undisturbed by this excruciating turn of events.

“Are you still good?”

“Yeah.” No. Once your skirt is back on, Damia walks you through the doorway. After such intense intimacy, any level of personal space feels awkward. You’re not expecting him to pull you into a hug, so much so that your arms hang by your sides. He strokes your back with a steady, warm hand, wrinkling the thin fabric while pressing his lips to your scalp. You’re aware that this embrace is Damiano’s way of communicating his feelings, but you haven’t a fucking clue what he’s saying.

It was unlike any hug you’d received from an adult man, another first Damia was taking from you, but this time he didn’t realize it. Finally, you embrace him back and press your face to his bare chest. His skin smells delicious as always, especially after sweating a little. Damia wraps his arms tighter, hand moving to rub back and forth across your shoulder blades. He kisses your head again.

This is an emotion you didn’t have a name for: so safe that the urge to cry abates. Simultaneously, that very same feeling makes you tear up because it's safe to cry. Was this the hug you were missing throughout your childhood? Was this how a male parental figure was supposed to make you feel? Your unaffectionate father had left you no frame of reference.

“Okay, good night.” When he pulls back, you can’t decide if you want to kiss him. That consideration quickly becomes mute, because Damia won’t look at you. Instead, he just closes the bedroom door in your face.

Notes: Sorry. 🤧 (You can now opt out of age gap fics by resubmitting your preferences to my taglist) I was unable to tag people for two months so you probably missed the last installment, which can be read here.

- XOXO Eden

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originalwinnercheesecake · 2 years ago

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Gustholomule: spoilers for For the Future

So we saw Matty again, got lots of him interacting with Gus and Gus friends, and we learn about three new things about him

Spoilers below

1.) He is actually a real good Leader/planer/strategist when he works at it. Wow. Well the planing thing I guess we did have some proof. His take over of the HAS was really well planed, and adapted, especially for a 13 year old who was in a completely new environment and didn’t know any allies/have friends who he knew for a fact would take his side.

Still on a note. I said in my Gus Appreciation post that the HAS club was Gus (unintentionally) at his worst. That he said he created it so he could “build a place were everybody had a voice” but if you look at the way he ran his club (only he brought things in, only he could touch things, he made himself a crown, and referred to voting as “anarchy’,) it seems more like he wanted to create a place where he was in charge of older kids and they had to listen to him. I also said that I believed leaving the club was necessary for Gus’s maturity, and that Mattholomule would be just as immature and unfair a leader as Gus. Just as surprising to me as Matt having such good ideas and plans for “New Hexsides” refuge camp, is seeing that he crossed out some of Gus’s more unfair rules and made the club more inclusive towards all members. I misjudged you Matty. Your a good club President. But you know Gus better now, you’ve seen that Gus has matured and become more considerate since. Please let him back in as a subordinate member.

2.) Matty is a dramatic AF who used a (easily smudging) marker to draw facial hair on himself, tried to get people to call him Man-Tholomule (buddy no one will ever call you that), and used a bad “dramatic twist “ theater line in the big fight when addressing a robot. HAHAHA

3.) The Big one... His name is actually Matt Tholomule. All those times when the fandom asked “ Why does he have such a weird first name?”, “How did his parents come up with it?”, “His Brother is named Steve. IS Steve short for something weird? How do you get one child with a name like “Steve” and then the next is named “Mattholomule”. Times I have personally searched his name on Tumblr and thought “ at least him having such a made up first name makes searching a character without a last name much easier”. (Note I have the same thoughts on Skara’s name. Is her full name going to turn out to be Skar A?).

But back to the matter at hand, here is one more reason, besides fan’s questions on the difference of the half brothers names, besides this meaning that the ship name Gustholomule is actually Gus’s first name attached to Matt’s last name. Even besides what that one genius poster pointed out about how Matt always calls Gus “Au-Gus-Tus” with the syllables spaced out and suggested that that was Matt trying to give Gus a really cryptic, unhelpful, hint to try putting more space in his name.

No it’s also funny because of this picture on Gus’s wall.

Matt has a party hat, so we know this was a birthday. Matt being the one in front, the one sitting down, and the absence of Willow and Luz implies that this is Matt’s birthday, and Gus is visiting his house to help celebrate it. Let’s think about that for a moment.

Did Matt’s cake not have “Happy Birthday Matt” written on it? Or if it did did Matt say/Gus think that it just said Matt because Mattholomule would take to mch room? There was nowhere in the house where Matt’s name was written out correctly and nothing saying “Tholomule Family” on it? Neither of Matt’s parents introduced themselves to Gus as “Mr./Mrs. Tholomule”? No confusion was expressed by one of them as to why Gus called their son by his full name? If Steve was able to be there he never pulled Gus to the side and said “Hey FYI Tholomule is actually our last name. My brother’s first name is just Matt.”? Going over all of that, I can only assume that Matt told is family about his little prank before inviting Gus over, and they all played along. Which would mean that the entire Tholomule family are devious, prankster, gremlins, not just Matt. This is a fact that I feel needs to be acknowledged.

Oh lastly while we are on the subject of Matt’s family this name thing just makes me think more that Mason, the construction head, is the Steve & Matt’s father and shared parent. Matt was running his father’s booth in “Covention Day” while Mason outfitted new members with construction seals. The only reason I can think of as to why such a young, inexperienced, and unsigled, witch-let would be representing a coven subgroup at such a big event: he was helping his parent. Then Mason came back before the Emperor’s coven show, because Matt wanted to attend and to try and see Steve. The reason Mason’s last name was not on the coven list, was because if we saw Mason Tholomule it would have spoiled the joke to early.

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griseldabanks · 1 year ago

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Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?, Link your three favorite fics right now (please), What is your most and least favorite part of writing?, and Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

I always think of myself as a novelist, and that carries over to fanfiction as well. Granted, I've written more oneshots than chapterfics, because it takes a lot less time, but I really do love sinking my teeth into a hefty chapterfic. I suppose one of my favorite ways to compromise is to do a collection of oneshots. It's great for when I have a bunch of ideas for a certain relationship or AU, but don't necessarily want to devote the time and attention an actual chapterfic would require.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

This is...really hard. There are so many good ones! I couldn't possibly rank all of my favorites, because every fic that earns its way onto my faves has something uniquely wonderful about it, and it's really hard to compare. (Also, what is "right now" supposed to mean? Do other people...stop loving their faves? With very few exceptions, once a fic makes its way onto my faves list, it's there to stay.) But here are three from different fandoms:

Tempest by Bookwrm389 (FMA) - Parental!RoyEd fic involving Ed and Mustang fighting Scar during a thunderstorm, gobs of angst and hurt/comfort, everyone so perfectly in-character, some truly epic moments as well as some great humor (very fitting for FMA), and overall it's just impeccably written in every way. I thought of this one when answering question 60 below, and knew I had to mention this fic, because it was the first time I ever saved a fic to my hard drive that was written by someone who wasn't a personal friend. I'm not very good or consistent about saving the fics I really like, but I knew immediately that if I ever lost access to this one, I would regret it forever.

John Plays Hooky by chappysmom (Sherlock) - A fun, shortish chapterfic about John taking an unplanned day off to just enjoy himself, and unintentionally leading Sherlock on a wild goose chase as he tries to solve the mystery of where John suddenly disappeared to. The characters are written excellently, there's so much fun irony in knowing both sides of what's going on when the characters don't, and it's also an excellent display of what sort of person John Watson is. It's a fic that just makes me smile every time I think of it.

Wander into My Mind by SergeantToMyCaptain (Captain America) - Go ahead, accuse me of favoritism, but this fic written by my bestie is just...phenomenal. It's in an AU in which Bucky comes to Steve, who is helping him recover from everything Hydra did to him, and in which Steve and Sharon actually get a chance to go somewhere with their relationship. The fic is about one of Bucky's bad days, and how Steve helps him deal with it. Basically it's just a huge ball of hurt/comfort and some of the most exquisite angst and tenderness you'll ever read. Not a story for everyone, I suppose - you have to be comfortable with men being very soft and affectionate with each other, without even a smidge of romance between them. But if that's a pill you can swallow, do yourself a favor and go read this masterpiece.

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

Well, they're definitely related. I'm not very good at coming up with ideas on my own, so the brainstorming stage is often my least-favorite. It's much more fun, and much more effective, when I have someone to bounce ideas off of, but even so, what I really love is when the whole story is figured out, I know the basic gist of how things will play out, and all that's left is for me to sit down and find the words to write it. I love that. Sure, sometimes I end up staring at a blinking cursor even when I have a plan in mind, but it's just so satisfying to finally be able to put down on paper the scenes you've been daydreaming about. It never quite turns out exactly the way I think it will, and sometimes I need to take several passes at it before it gets to where I want it to be, but that part of the process is when I really feel like I'm in the zone. This is why I work best as part of a team, really - if someone else can help me with ideas, I'm perfectly happy to be in charge of actually writing those ideas out in the form of a story.

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

Sadly, this writer seems to have disappeared and taken down/orphaned her fics, but one of the greatest moments of my fanfic career was when Bookwrm389 commented on my FMA fic "Silence-Carved Scars" and gushed about it. It's a Parental!RoyEd fic that was originally inspired by her Parental!RoyEd fic "Gold from Lead." Both fics involve a misunderstanding about the nature of Ed and Mustang's relationship, but she said I went farther than she'd dared to do. I was walking on cloud nine for a while, believe me ^_^

Fic Writer Asks

#ask and you shall receive #called-kept #ask games #just realized that maybe that question about fic recommendations was supposed to be about one's OWN fics?#oh well too late now

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nsk96 · 4 months ago

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Rant:

My mom and I went out to run errands today and she decided to use this opportunity to have a conversation about why I’ve been “rude to her lately.”

I told her some of things I was feeling but of course had to hold back. It was so annoying how she keeps pushing and pushing for answers. She doesn’t seem to be able to figure out I don’t want to talk about it with her. Like she doesn’t understand consent.

And of course she excused her behavior of belittling my viewpoints, invalidating my feelings about our situation. She always has to compare how she feels in the sense of “I have it worse”. I brought up her attention but she’s like “you know I don’t mean it that way”…umm no I don’t know that and why complain when I complain? She complains about our situation all the time and I listen without having to inject my own feelings. I don’t understand why she can’t do the same for me and says it’s just her “personality”. She literally said “consider how I feel. I have to do___” as a response to me explaining how stressed put I am about our situation. I pointed that out to her later when things calmed down and she denies she meant it that way. She tried to even change up her words saying she didn’t say it like that.

She’s been allowed to say whatever the fuck she wants for so long, that she doesn’t even remember half the shit she says apparently.

She says she feels like she can’t be herself around me and has to walk on “pins and needles” because I’m “sensitive”. I’m sorry, if your personality revolves around unintentionally insulting and belittling other people and unintentionally dismissing their feelings all the time, you may want to do some reflection. “It’s just the way I talk” 🙄 More like I let you get away with it my whole life, and at the age of 28 I finally had enough and try to stand up for myself but all that comes out is rage, and of course she makes herself the victim.

“When you hurt me I pray for your forgiveness (for god to forgive me) all the time. You don’t want a mother’s wrath, I wouldn’t ever wish that on you.” You know what, maybe I should be praying for god to forgive you too, for hurting me my whole life. She has no clue that at 14 I was planning to kill myself.

I’m the one that felt like I couldn’t be myself at home for most of my life. I’m the one that had to walk on “pins and needles” around both of my parents. I always wanted to stay at school and not come home. I’m the one that never felt safe to express myself and my feelings at home, especially to her.

In this convo, she was like “if I say something insulting, you can just tell me “wow mom that was harsh”. I told her I literally don’t how how to do that.

When she talks, she keeps going and pushing and it gets me so upset I can’t control my emotions (though I’ve made progress recognizing what I’m feeling, it will be a while until I reach that point that she wants me to be at). All of a sudden she expects me to have this high level of emotional intelligence when she doesn’t have it herself. My whole life she blew up at me whenever she was angry and even took her anger at my dad and bro, out on me. And all of suddenly she expects me not to do the same. 28 years.

So I told her, “so you can say what you want, how you want, but I have to be careful what I say around you?” She was like “that’s different. I’m your mother.” I said “that’s double standards.” She then went on a small rant about all the sacrifices she made for me and said stuff like “I’m your mother not just for birthing you.” Oh you mean the sacrifices you made to do your job as a parent? And you’re using the sacrifices you’re making now as a way to guilt-trip me into giving you unconditional respect without criticism? What a mother.

And of course we had a whole conversation about our “culture” (Indian culture surrounding familial duty) because I didn’t show my bedroom to my visiting aunt and uncle a few months ago. The culture where you’re obligated to people no matter how much they hurt you.

I straight up told her that our culture sucks ass.

I even ended up telling her that I feel like a burden and she said “I don’t remember doing anything to make you feel that way.” Like constantly reminding me all the shit you put up with “just for me” wouldn’t make anyone feel like a burden. And watching her always lament on the fact that she can’t have hobbies because she had children and had to put up with my dad to give us “a normal childhood” (tf is a normal childhood anyway? Children will normalize any environment you put them in until they learn different. I now have to struggle to unlearn the shit I grew up in)

And though she said she’ll be “more careful” about how she says things, I know she’ll revert back to old habits and we’ll be back to square one in no time. This whole convo was really just her talking and yelling/scolding to the point I just blanked out and struggled to speak. Of course I was crying the whole time too because I just wanted her to stop pressuring me to speak going “tell me__”. Felt almost like an interrogation

#personal #personal rant #tw mom mention #tw narcissistic parent #tw suicide mention #(from the past)

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ijustwant2write · 3 years ago

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Bickering-Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

(GIF credit @gifshistorical)

MASTERLIST

Summary (requested by anonymous): ‘Hi ! Can I request something with Anthony Bridgerton if it’s good for you ? Like something cute ? The reader uses a lot of sarcasm and it drives Anthony crazy and he hates her/want to sweep her of her feet/is totally infatuated with her. And at some point the blond bitch Cressida makes fun of Heloise, and she jumps to defend her with sarcasm and Anthony is so smitten and turned on he tells her he loves her. Thank you very much 🥰’

Characters: Anthony Bridgerton x Reader, Eloise Bridgerton x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Bullying, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There (Y/N) was, glowing like an angel as she always did, outshining any other lady in the room. It was a shame she didn't speak like one.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) was a lady, she did everything a lady should, except for when it came to conversations. She often let her thoughts take over, using sarcasm to get her point across without causing offence...sometimes. It was hard to say you didn't like her, because she was pleasant a lot of the time, it was just those few moments where she took it too far.

Anthony watched as she made her way through the crowds, seemingly his way. He hated to admit it, but he had been captivated by her, he was under her control despite trying to hold his ground every time they spoke.

"Bridgerton." (Y/N) bowed her head, giving a slight curtsy as she smiled.

"Lady (Y/N)." he bowed back.

"Ah, you have already fetched me a drink." She took the glass of champagne out of his hand, knowing that it was his.

He scoffed a laugh, letting her take it."Of course, we are all merely your servants my lady."

"Well, if you are to do my bidding, perhaps you can assist me tonight."

"Assist? You know I'm a Viscount?"

"There is a certain gentleman here tonight. whom I wish to get away from. And no, I'm not talking about you."

He rolled his eyes."I feel like you're going to keep talking no matter what I say, so go on."

"He keeps pestering me at any event. All he does is compliment me, send my flowers, talk about our possible future-"

"That sounds terrible."

"Let me finish. I hardly know him, I don't want to know him. But he isn't understanding that. Please Anthony, just for the evening would you stay by my side?"

Anthony could have immediately answered, he would have said yes straight away. But of course, being as stubborn as he was, he made a show of thinking about his answer.

"If only were as quick at thinking as you are going through women." (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

"I was about to say yes."

"Really?"

"I was until that comment."

"Oh Anthony please, I really wouldn't be asking if I didn't need your help."

She seemed stressed, this wasn't the usual (Y/N)."Has he done something to you?"

"No, but I fear that if I keep being polite and let him continue with his efforts, my parents may seem him a good match for me."

"Well, we can't let that happen, can we?"

He held out his arm, smiling as she did when she looped her own through his. She was relieved he went with the plan, unintentionally holding onto him tighter than she thought. He smirked to himself, feeling proud as people noticed them together.

"So this gentleman, who exactly is he?" Anthony asked as they began walking around the room.

"Lord Taylor." (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

"Oh, what a monster!" Anthony laughed.

"It is sweet of him, I know, but he is not the one for me. He's too soft."

"Yes, how could you ever live with that man? Someone who gives you attention everyday? Someone who will secure you a good future?"

"Hm, maybe you should take from notes from him, you could be married by now."

"And if you acted like every other lady here, you too could have a husband."

"That would make me boring."

He couldn't argue with that.

"At least look like you're having fun with me." (Y/N) nudged him.

"It will be a challenge."

(Y/N) and Anthony strolled around the party, making small talk as they passed friends. Everyone was shocked by the couple, normally you would hear them childishly bickering with one another, even though it was obvious how much they adored the other. Many had predicted that they would be the next big couple, even Lady Whistledown had mentioned it in her writings.

"I'm going to get us another drink. The same again my lord?" (Y/N) offered.

"My, I could get used to this."

"Don't ruin it." though she sounded serious, there was a smile on her face.

He quietly chuckled as she left his side and it suddenly felt empty. It didn't feel right not having her beside him. He knew he had feelings for her, he tried to fool himself into thinking they weren't strong, but he knew he was wrong. The refreshments were not far from them, (Y/N) was taking her time. Anthony began to worry, thinking she had found another eligible bachelor to speak to. It also infuriated him, he was helping her, the least she could do was keep him company...and that was the only reason he was angry.

It was only when people's heads were all turning in the same direction did he notice (Y/N) stood with Eloise, seemingly frowning at Cressida. This wasn't good.

"You know, it's funny Cressida," he heard (Y/N) say as he rushed over,"here you are mocking Eloise for not finding a suitor, yet I have not seen any man on your arm this season."

"Well, I could say the same about you." Cressida smirked.

"Oh, have you seen Anthony Bridgerton tonight? Of course you haven't, because he's been with me for a majority of the evening."

Cressida (like every other woman) had desired a Bridgerton boy."A Bridgerton was with you? Why?"

"Because the Bridgerton's don't associate themselves with those who regard themselves higher than others, when they are in fact, not." Eloise stood up for herself.

"I couldn't have put it better myself." (Y/N) smiled.

"But she's a freak! It's not natural for a woman to read so many books, she doesn't have any friends-"

"I'm her friend." (Y/N) stood beside Eloise.

"That makes sense." Cressida turned up her lip.

"Cressida, I don't have time for this pointless chatter. Instead of wasting our evening by squawking nonsense, turn around, and socialise with people who we don't care for. Because know this, when I am married, when I do have my own estate and home, you certainly won't be invited to any event I hold, and believe me, you'll be missing out. I'll also make it a point that you aren't invited and explain why to everyone, who unsurprisingly will agree with me."

Cressida rolled her eyes, her skirts twirling as she turned to leave. (Y/N) waited for her to be a good distance away before checking on Eloise.

"Are you alright?" she asked, a hand on the girls upper arm.

Eloise nodded."Yes, thank you. It's nice to have someone in your corner."

"No need to thank me, I've been waiting for an opportunity like that."

"Ignore her Eloise, everything that (Y/N) said was true." Anthony appeared.

"Oh, you're agreeing with me for once, things are exciting tonight." (Y/N) smiled.

"Eloise, would you excuse us. I would like to ask Lady (Y/N) to dance."

(Y/N)'s eyes widened, her smile also growing. She took Anthony's hand, keeping up with his long strides. The stood opposite each other, bowing and curtsying before they started the slow paced dance.

"You know you didn't have to dance with me, I'm sure you just being with me would keep Lord Taylor away." (Y/N) said.

"That isn't the reason I asked."

"It isn't?"

"No, I wanted to dance with you."

"What are you up to Bridgerton?"

He smiled down at her, pulling her closer (if that was possible) as they continued to dance around the room."Can my true intentions not show through?"

"Please do not tease me."

"I am not. (Y/N), what you did for my sister was honourable. Although I would usually disagree with some of your word choices, I fully supported everything you said. And that is how I realised what my true feelings were."

"I've never heard you speak like this before."

"You and I both know that we've had something unspoken between us. I know we tease, argue and bicker sometimes but your fiery attitude is what drew me to you. Please do not deny it, for we know it is true. And I would like nothing better than to get to know you even more."

"Do you really mean this? I have never heard such a romantic statement, especially from Anthony Bridgerton's lips."

"Yes. I do believe you shall receive a visit from me in the morning."

"You are to call upon me?"

Anthony's heart fluttered at her beaming face."If you desire."

(Y/N) made it obvious she was thinking about it."Hm, do I desire?"

Anthony chuckled."Now you are the one teasing me."

"Yes, Lord Bridgerton. I do desire that. And i look forward to what I will be brought in the morning."

"Is my company not enough?"

"It is. But its a good opportunity for you to also realise the way to my heart is through a box of chocolates."

#anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton imagines #anthony bridgerton one shot #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton fanfic #anthony bridgerton fan fic #anthony brigderton fanfiction #anthony bridgerton fan fiction #bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton imagines #bridgerton one shot #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fan fic #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton fan fiction

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seasidepierre · 3 years ago

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sunkissed face part 5 | charles leclerc

FORMULA ONE DRIVERS MASTERLIST

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

summary: Charles has showed up in London and you decide it's time to repay him the favor of a tour.

warnings: Will make you want to be bestie with Tom Holland and I'm not sorry for it.

words count: 7.7k

a/n: A very big thank you to @dansunflowers who's been hyping me up for this story ever since I started it and to @parkerbunny for her help with a bit of beta-reading! And mostly, thank YOU for reading my work and loving our fave sunkissed couple so much 🤍

You were pretty sure that your parents had always explained that heaven was not on Earth. As soon as you were of age of understanding abstract notions and when you’d asked what heaven was, they were adamant that it was not to be found while you were alive and that you had to be really good to get the chance to ever see it. You weren’t quite sure your previous actions on this planet would always be categorised as “good”. You had cheated on tests. You’d been mean, sometimes. You’d stolen a couple of items, mostly unintentionally when loading the groceries in the boot of your car and realising you’d forgotten to put something on the conveyor belt. You’re pretty sure you’ve been bad at some points, without even realising. And sometimes, you’d been plain mean, just because you’d been hurt and the only response you’d been able to give was to bite back.

So how did heaven crash with your little London flat, as you laid in your bed, comfortably settled between Charles’ arms and thighs? Surely, you didn’t deserve such good things. Surely, this was a mistake. But you lifted your head and your eyes met the cute button of his nose, nostrils flaring as his slow breathing gave rhythm to the rocking provided by his heaving chest and you truly felt in a place that clearly wasn’t Earth. You had abandoned the leggings yesterday night when you went to bed, letting Charles’ low whistle boost your ego when you climbed onto the mattress. Your bed sat on the corner of your room and you were used to sleeping on the side against the wall, leaving Charles with the open side of the bed, which meant you had to climb over him. As you stood above him, feet wobbling on either side of his chest, his hands had sneakily found a way to your calves and rose up your legs to end up on your thighs, pulling you down gently until you ended up straddling his lap.

“Hi,” He grinned.

“Hi,” You whispered back.

“Loving the look,” He explained, his hands spread across the top of your thighs, soft fingertips drawing little circles on your skin. “What did I do to deserve it?”

“You came here,” You smiled, arms raising until he sat back up so you’d be able to knot them behind his neck. “And that’s plenty enough, before you ask.”

“We only have three days left,” He sighed. “What have you planned for us?”

“Tomorrow, we’re going to town. There’s no way you leave without having had a tour.”

Your alarm clock didn’t ring that morning, being a Saturday and all, but you still did stir up at around 9. The sun was rising in the sky and a sliver of sunshine was sneaking through a little slit between the curtains of your window. The bedroom might have been uncomfortably hot and maybe, if you took the time to get out of it and re-enter, you’d find that it might have been smelling a bit funky too, but it’s not like you really cared about that, when you were basking in Charles’ warmth.

You stretched gently, careful not to poke your bed mate in the face and cringed a little when a couple of your articulations popped loudly, including your back, which made you see stars for a little while. You felt like your entire being had been realigned and, content with the current state of your body, you curled back up to Charles’ chest, wrapping your arms around his middle and resting your head right on his sternum. Your legs intertwined with his, calves against calves, thighs on thighs, warm skin against warm skin. Charles sleepily brought his arms around you, dropping a kiss on the top of your skull but you weren’t even sure he was actually aware of doing it.

“It’s still early, go back to sleep,” His raspy voice rumbled through your cheek, flush against his chest.

“Fine, sleepy head,” You whispered back, kissing his sternum in the process.

Charles hummed, visibly happy about the soft display of your affection. You nuzzled your way deeper into his skin, even if you were already as close as humanly possible. In his sleepy state, Charles’ arms rose around your shoulders, ending their course on the sides of your head, squishing you against him a little bit tighter, which made you quietly chuckle.

“I feel you laughing,” He mumbled. “You’re shaking against my chest.”

“I could be crying,” You teased.

“No.”

There was no doubt in his mind. Not when your body was flush against his and your heart finally felt at rest, back into his arms. He knew that perfectly well, since he felt exactly the same way. This felt like solace. This felt like rest, finally. He had been so tired, these last few days, navigating his life without knowing where you two stood, but being back to you felt heavenly. He had slept soundlessly for the first time in days. This had been the most rest he's gotten ever since you left Monaco. So he was pretty sure that the comfort he was feeling was too reassuring and intense to be felt only by him. You were just as content as he was.

“Where are we going?”

“I want to take you to all the very touristy places, but also, I want to show you my London,” You whispered. “The one you won’t see unless you’re with me.”

“I have a feeling this is going to be my fave part of the tour,” He hummed, eyes still closed.

“We’ll see.”

You knew your heart to be in its calmest state ever since Monaco. There was no doubt, no trouble clouding your mind. But as you slowly emerged from sleep, your mind took recollection of the day and what it meant.

Saturdays were pub quiz days with the boys.

Saturdays were usually meant for Tom, his brothers, Tuwaine.. And Harrison.

Harrison, that you truly didn’t want to see for now.

There was something about the very thought of Harrison that irked you and rubbed you in the wrong way. You still weren’t sure if it was the shame of having been caught in your blatant crush by the object of said crush or if it was the fact that he told his girlfriend and didn’t come to you with it. Had he been embarrassed by the whole thing to the point of not telling you anything about it? To be completely frank, he hadn’t been the same ever since he started dating his current girlfriend. Not that you were throwing her under the bus, but you didn’t really like her and it was fine by you both. She was with him and you had been throwing heart eyes at her boyfriend for the entirety of their relationship. It wasn’t really that much of a surprise that she was cold to you. But as their relationship had barely started, Harrison was still warm and nice to you, he was still.. Your best friend. It changed about three months into their relationship. At that point, Harrison stopped calling you to tell you the latest stupid joke he had found on the bottom of his yogurt pot or to explain his weird dream of the night. He didn’t lend you a sweatshirt anymore when you were obviously freezing (not that you were lacking in the clothing department, though, if it wasn’t Harrison, it would have been either one of the other boys) and his usual displays of affection, in the forms of exchanging foods you both didn’t like but knew the other did, didn’t happen anymore. Instead, you sat at the pub looking at your plate, wishing he could pick the pickle from your burger and you’d get his slice of tomato. Sad times. You didn’t want to think it was her doing, you didn’t want to imagine that she had anything to do with it. And if she did, then you had enough empathy to realise that maybe, your relationship to the boys might be a threat to another girl dating the boys. But then again, the twins’ girlfriends usually didn’t have any trouble with you hanging out with the guys. Tom’s girlfriends didn’t say shit to you, because Tom always made sure that you were part of the group they were getting into. You had met your fair share of celebrities who didn’t bat an eyelash at you, because you were always introduced as “the best friend”. But this time was different. Was it because Harrison was actually serious about this girl? Was it because they were really into each other and Harrison had tried to put some distance, just to give some peace of mind to his girl? Why were you the one being pushed away for a relationship that you clearly weren’t going to get and didn’t even want anymore? As much as you could empathise, it didn’t feel fair that you were the one being punished for it when you’d been here for longer than her. You loved Harrison to bits, even if it was just as a friend. He had been one of your best mates for literal decades. You two had fallen into a comfortable relationship and dynamic, established long before she even appeared in his life. So why were you the one pushed away when you had tried your best to accommodate his relationship status? It’s not like she found you cuddling Harrison on a couch. It’s not like she witnessed a hand on your thigh or kisses dropped to the top of your head. All of that had stopped when they started dating, which you had found quite normal, actually. But why did it feel so unfair that you were the girl who lost it all when you’d been the one helping him navigate Life for so long?

But as much as you had reflected on this, it truly didn’t seem to matter as much as it did, now that you had Charles.

The idea of Harrison as a boyfriend seemed so distant that you wondered how and why you had it in the first place. You had nursed your crush over the blond boy for literal years before you’d meet Charles, who obliterated the idea in a single eyelash batting. There was no comparison to make. Charles was the Sun and Harrison was barely a satellite in your eyes. You still knew your heart to contain love and fondness for Harrison, but as your best friend and that was it. Even if, as of right now, you were pretty mad at him and didn’t want to speak to him, nor even see him.

“I can hear you think,” Charles mumbled in your hair. “What’s going on inside your pretty little head?”

“Just thinking about my friends,” You stated, not wanting to conceal the truth in any way.

“Did something happen?”

“No, it’s just that Saturday nights are usually spent together, but with you here, I’m not sure what to do.”

“Do you want to go see them?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Is this about what happened in Monaco with Harrison?”

Charles didn’t stumble onto the name and you were quite sure that they didn’t talk to each other when they met at the track. Tom didn’t introduce them either and the only time he did hear his name was when you mentioned it, on the two odd occasions that you couldn’t just say “he” or “him”. But he had remembered it. He knew exactly who was who and which name to keep track of. It did tighten your heart a little and you wished you could have never felt what you did for Harrison, just so that you could reassure him and tell him that your heart didn’t hold any trace of Harrison, that it was his to take if he wanted it and his to keep, if he felt like it.

But instead, you were lying on the chest of a very doubtful boy who clearly appreciated you enough to take a private jet to London and to lie in bed with you without even trying anything. He was just content to hold you. And now you had made a little mess appear in a corner of his brain.

You sighed, guilt eating at your stomach. You rubbed your cheek against his shirt, wishing the simple gesture would appease him just enough. Anything to erase the thought creeping into his beautiful head.

“Yeah,” You whispered. “I’m kinda mad at Harrison and I also don’t want to see his girlfriend.”

“If Harrison wasn’t there, would you go?”

“I don’t know. I kind of like the idea of spending the night with you. They’d understand.”

“Maybe they would, but also, I don’t want to isolate you from your friends. I think you should go.”

The fact that he didn’t include himself in the outing was almost cute, if it didn’t send you spiralling into the idea that maybe Charles didn’t like the idea of you spending time with the boys, even if he had just said the opposite, really. Or maybe he just didn’t like them. It could be both, too. Before you knew it, your arms tightened against his torso, squeezing yourself against him even more than you already were. If you had to choose between your friends and him, you knew you’d be in trouble. Because you might like Charles a lot, but you loved your friends to bits. There wouldn’t really be a choice, actually. You knew you’d have to let Charles go, even if he’d break your heart. And you weren’t ready for that, no matter how recent your little fling with Charles might be.

“You need to breathe,” He whispered to you. “It’s okay, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

You hadn’t felt yourself tipping towards an anxiety attack but here you were now, pushing it back with all your force. Charles had sensed it coming, though, and was currently trying his best to soothe you so you could escape it. You loved the fact that he already knew you were dealing with anxiety and how willing he was to help you through it. You also immediately loved his way to anchor you back to reality, through light fingertips on your shoulders, deep breaths inviting you to match your breathing to his, soft kisses on your temple and whispers that were just loud enough to pierce the overflowing thoughts crowding your mind.

It took you a bit of time to eventually calm yourself down, but this might have been the easiest almost-attack you’d ever had and you were convinced it was all thanks to the man helping you through it. Even Tom wasn’t as efficient and God knows he was the one who usually helped you the most through your anxiety.

“I’m not leaving you alone tonight,” You finally reacted to his previous sentence.

“I’ll guess we’ll both go to the pub quiz, then,” He shrugged. “You’ll have to explain to me how it works because I think I’m gonna be the worst team player ever.”

You kissed Charles’ sternum, so incredibly grateful that Life seemed to be a race track whose turns and path led you straight to him. You promised him you would try your best to make it as pain free as it could be for him and tightened your arms once again around his chest.

“Can we go back to sleep, now?” He mumbled.

“Yes, we can,” You smiled.

And you did.

Surprisingly enough, Charles had been pretty determined to get out of the flat after 11am. You sensed that he had taken on him to rest and enjoy the softness of your morning together but maybe this had been going on for too long, at least when this guy was used to high speeds and being constantly busy. It’s like a colony of ants had taken over each and every one of his limbs and he was ready to pounce at anything and everything, just to unload that high energy onto something. Or someone. And truth be told, while he looked like a completely nuts golden retriever puppy, you couldn’t deny that there was something nice about his grabby hands and the way he kept giggling into your neck at every chance he got to drag your body closer to his. You had been on the way to put your shoes on and suddenly, Charles was behind you, draping his torso against your back and surrounding your stomach with both his arms. It was super cute, true, but also super uncomfortable, for the both of you actually. He let go of you pretty quickly, before hopping to the next spot of interest to him, which had been the keys hung on your wall. He had grabbed the set of them, had pushed the door open and out and about you went.

Taking the tube was the easiest, because you couldn’t, for the life of yours, deal with the traffic jams you were sure to find in the very core of the city. Taking the tube was also the nicest, because even though there was enough space for you to occupy two seats correctly, Charles was adamant your legs should rest on his thighs, so he could have his hands on them, at all times. You particularly enjoyed this side of Charles, being all touchy and lovely, but a nagging thought kept popping up in the back of your mind, wondering how long exactly it was going to be until he got tired of you. So you made a vow to yourself to enjoy the small time you had together, as short as it might be, so that when he’d leave in a couple of days, you wouldn’t have any regret. You’d spend your time appreciating his touch, enjoying his gaze, basking in his warmth and then you’d try your best to survive the colder days.

You could do this.

You took Charles to the touristy stuff first. The London Eye wasn’t really that cheap but before you had a chance to swipe your credit card on the device, Charles had slid his in the slot, preventing you from paying for the both of you. You boarded a pod quite easily, as he had opted for fast track tickets, allowing you to skip the queue and for some privacy. It’s not like anyone expecting him in London and you thought you’d be fine, after having spent most of your days with Tom who was currently London’s sweetheart and one of England’s prime jewels, but you sensed that it was still all a bit awkward for Charles and you allowed him the extravaganza of paying more to skip the line. If he was happy at the end of the day, you’d be happy too.

The thirty-minute ride was spent faster than you’d remember it to be. You pointed the most obvious landscape elements to Charles, explaining a bit of history and context to each of them. That way, Charles became familiar with the House of Parliament and how it worked, with Buckingham Palace, with Big Ben and as the sky was clear, you even got to show him a glimpse of Windsor Palace. Charles was interested in the monarchy, having a prince in Monaco too, and didn’t comment on the oddity of still having a monarch. Some of Tom’s friends from the States or Europe still found it baffling that England wasn’t a democracy, per se. But you were glad to explain to Charles what the Queen was up to and what she did, which he listened to with great interest. When you got out of the pod, you felt like he was significantly richer in knowledge on the history of the city.. And richer in kisses too. Your lips were swollen and you weren’t sure your touch of lip balm before you left your flat had been the best idea, with hindsight. Charles, however, was ecstatic to discover more and wanted to see Buckingham from closer, so you indulged him, even though you knew the spot to be full of tourists. He took enough pictures to possibly cover an entire wall of his bedroom but the majority of them had you two in it. Dozens of badly framed selfies later, you took him to Trafalgar Square, ready for lunch and to sit just a bit. You ended up ordering sandwiches and eating them sitting in front of the fountain. After lunch, you could see that Charles was full of energy again, so you decided to rent Santander bikes to ride a bit into the city. You took him to some very known streets in Notting Hill and thought it would be nice to grab a double decker bus to get to the Sky Garden on Fenchurch Road, which you loved for the jungle feeling it gave you. You’d never gone further than the United States but Charles had visited Bali on a couple of occasions, so he told you everything about it and why you should avoid looking at monkeys in the eyes at all costs, while you sat in the middle of it, trees behind you and a stunning view of London across the window walls.

“What do you like so much about London?” Charles asked, your head resting on his shoulder and his hand tracing circles on the small of your back. “Is it your city like Monaco is to me?”

“I’m not sure. I love London, don’t get me wrong,” You sighed. “But it’s a scattered city. Everything is always about an hour away even though it’s still London. It’s where I grew up and it’s what I’ve always known. I’m fond of it, really. But at the same time, the traffic, the grey skies, the cold, the constant rush all the time.. It’s starting to get to me. I don’t mind the buzz of the city but I’m exhausted from feeling like everything’s buzzing around me and I’m just here for the ride. I wish I was truly a part of it, but most of the time, I end up riding the wave all the way back home and I lock myself in my little flat, ready for the day to be over and for the next one to be a copy of the previous one.”

“I get it,” Charles nodded. “It’s like everyone’s living their lives but not you, right?”

“Exactly,” You sighed with relief that at least someone understood. “And I really wish I was living, rather than just going through it all.”

Charles nodded, at a loss of words to reply. You didn’t really need him to, if you were being honest. Just the fact that he was there, that he was trying his best, that he was attempting to soothe you and make it just a fraction easier for you was enough. Him being there and providing a completely different weekend than the ones you were used to was enough. Every moment spent with Charles felt like Life was finally seeping back into your spinal cord, like you’d been hunched over for weeks and now, you were ready to finally stand up straight, relieved of a weight on your shoulders. Charles was a breath of fresh air in the polluted skies of London.

“If you could go anywhere else, where would you go?”

“I’m not really sure,” You admitted. “I don’t think I’ve seen enough of the world to know where I’d be happy. I think I’d like somewhere sunny and warm, possibly with the sea. But I’ve also never been to the mountains, so maybe I’d end up falling in love with the scenery and the snow, you know?”

“Where have you been, so far?”

“I’ve visited New York, it was amazing but I’m not sure I’d love it much more than London in the long term. It was too busy for a permanent place to live. I went to Los Angeles but this place is the most fake I’ve ever seen. I liked the beaches but it was too hot and people there are just extremely self-centred, I thought. And I went to Paris, which I loved too but same again, would the pretty buildings and history be enough for me to forget the busy metros and the feeling that people are always running everywhere?”

“And you’ve been to Monaco,” Charles ended the list, a smug smile on his lips.

“Monaco was amazing,” You whispered.

Charles laughed, making you smile even wider.

If you had to choose, maybe you’d go back to Monaco.

But for the time being, you’d go back to London’s busy streets and smog.

The pub you’ve elected to be the one you should always end up at for pub quiz Saturday was rowdy and loud. You knew it could be a little bit intimidating for a newcomer, so you warned Charles in advance, which resulted in him only slightly jumping out of the noise level there was inside. However, the pub was warm and cosy, with booths made of caramel coloured leather, inviting you to crash on it and appreciated the rough texture of the wood making up the tables. Those tables had seen better days, for sure. They were dented, they were scratched, they had traces of glasses rims and stains for numerous drinks spilled on them. But those tables were the ones you had smashed your hands on countless of times, laughing with your friends. They were the ones you sat at to have some fun and unwind from the long week of work you just had. They were the background of some of your fondest memories.

You wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Tom, Sam and Harry had scored the table you liked the most, right by the heater and close enough to the host of the quiz that you wouldn’t have to try your hardest to understand what was being said. It also was a big enough table to host all of you without you having to break into two different groups.

Two seats were saved next to Tom, which you guessed was his doing. He did text earlier asking if you were coming. You did answer that you wouldn’t be alone, without mentioning who was going to join.

The look of pure surprise on the twins’ faces was enough to make you giggle. Tom smiled at you, jumping to his feet to greet Charles, which was enough for you to thank him softly under your breath as Charles took the time to say hi to everyone. Tuwaine was looking rather smug, if you were being honest, probably yelling in his head about how “you should get it”, if you trusted the smirk he sent your way. One that truly didn’t look impressed, though, was Harrison. He was on his own, that night, dateless which happened quite often for pub quizzes. It wasn’t really his girlfriend’s scene, which you had respected so far. It also had meant that for one night each time, you didn’t have to be careful about what you said and what you did. It meant having the boys for yourself and not having to share them. Tonight, it just made things awkward, though.

Harrison did greet Charles, though, even if he hadn’t been as warm as the others. As soon as they were all sat, you took the space next to Tom, patting the rest of the booth for Charles to drop his cute butt next to you. Directly across you two sat the twins and in front of Tom was Tuwaine, leaving Harrison with the stool at the end of the table, which you knew he wasn’t really fond of. He preferred the booth. Too bad Tom had privileged your sake and Charles’ than his.

“So what the hell are you doing here, mate?” Harry asked.

“Nobody told them about Monaco?” You frowned.

“Wasn’t our story to tell,” Tuwaine shrugged. “You go ahead, Queen.”

“I met Charles at the Grand Prix,” You smiled to the twins.

“And I’m here to visit and learn about London,” Charles added, a hand draping your knee as he threw a look at you on his side, a small grin gracing his lips behind his facemask.

Sam was the quickest one linking the dots together, nodding with acknowledgment. Harry was quick to follow, his mouth gaping in a perfect “O” which made you laugh. It’s not like you could blame them for their surprise. You did have spent a long time single and rejecting the idea of any set-up date, waiting for God knew what. Or at least Tom knew what.

“Well it’s nice to have you here, Charles,” Tom grinned. “You ready to play?”

“I’m not sure I’ll be very helpful but I’ll try my best,” Charles scoffed, amused.

“First round is on me,” Tuwaine announced. “To celebrate our very own Queen finally getting herself a nice boy.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” You giggled.

“Just that last time you brought someone to a pub quiz, he was a complete tool. Damn Charles, you’re stellar, don’t get me wrong, but your competition was just abysmal.”

You cringed at his remark, wishing he didn’t bring your past love life to the table, figuratively and not. Charles had had enough of you projecting your past onto him for the day. He didn’t need to hear about your previous dates. The guy Tuwaine was referring to hadn’t even gone past that date. You brought him as a test because you weren’t sure whether to pursue that or not. When he saw the entire group of friends you talked so much about had been made of guys only, he had turned into the most insufferable guy you’d ever met. And he had tried to get Tom on his Instagram story, which truly was one of the reddest flags you could have gotten.

But Charles laughed at Tuwaine, turning back to you with gleeful eyes, wanting to learn more about it, to which you moaned that you would explain, just later. He nodded at you and let Tuwaine process into asking everyone what they wanted to drink. You opted for a simple lemonade, knowing you would most likely end up finishing some glasses at some points. When you were tipsy (or more), you stole the bottoms of everyone’s glass. You were a bit of a kleptomaniac when alcohol was involved. Upon seeing Tuwaine struggling with a shit ton of pints and glasses, Charles stood up and offered a hand, which you appreciated quite a lot. He was settling into the group, not just riding the wave.

The host of the quiz appeared, which brought the pub into a frenzy that made Charles laugh. You hollered at the poor guy, along with the rest of your table, which made the host sigh, once again. You were known for these antics. But the staff forgave you lot every time, because you did come every week and as much as you were loud, you also brought some sense of party to it. Pub quiz Saturdays without you were tamer, quieter and more boring, truth be told.

Didn’t prevent the host from being embarrassed anyway, which made you giggle like always. He did explain the rules and the concept because he could “see there were some new faces around”. The only new face was Charles’, so you loved the gesture even more for what it was: welcoming newbies and making sure Charles was comfortable and up to speed. They passed the answer sheets around and Harrison grabbed yours, though he passed it to you without even a word. You knew pens would be passed soon and not without missing a beat, Harrison chose the gel one that clicked loudly, even though it made Tuwaine groan thinking about the damn noise it made. Harrison gave it to you, ignoring the complaints of the rest of the table, but you did your little happy dance. This was your favourite pen out of the ones you could get and Harrison knew it.

“Why do you always indulge her and get her that damn pen?” Sam moaned.

“If I hear it click more than once, I swear to God..” Harry added.

“I have nightmares about this sound,” Tuwaine shuddered.

“Shut up, she likes that pen, she gets that pen, end of it,” Harrison stopped the debate.

That made Charles frown a little. Surely if you’d had to escape your hotel room because he had been a dick, he wasn’t meant to do something nice for you, was he? But you seemed happy with your little pen, brandishing it in the middle of the table before clicking it loudly several times, making all of the guys groan a few times more. Your smug face was enough to ease his heart but the fact that you leaned into him and wiggled a bit more, obviously pleased about him being there, truly made the whole incident insignificant.

The first round of questions was of 5, themed around history. Thankfully for you, Harry was a bit of a nutcase and knew dates and locations like no other. You debated the answers as a team, though sometimes Harry would be firm and say this was it. To your biggest pleasure, Charles tried to offer help and opinions, which were helpful in some instances. He was far from being as good as Harry, but he did make counter offers and enjoyed the debate. After the round, you had a little break, which meant that you had time to grab something to drink. You turned to Charles, asking if he wanted anything, but he hadn’t finished his pint yet, so you got up and got a rum and coke, asking for it to be lightly dosed. Your wish for the end of the night was to not end up completely hammered, though you knew Charles would take care of you if needed.

As you sat back next to him, he turned to you and smiled, facemasks having been dropped a while ago as the tables had been spaced out and you were all drinking.

“Are you having fun?” You inquired. “We can leave if you’re not,” You informed.

“I’m having fun,” He confirmed. “No worries on that side. I’m just happy to spend some time with you.”

“You’re the sweetest,” You hummed softly, dropping your head on his shoulder.

“Is there a specific reason why you’re the one writing the answers?”

“That’s because everyone at this table either has a hard time writing or just has shitty handwriting. So to ensure there is no frustration over putting our answers down or trying to read them back, I’ve been designated secretary.”

“You do have lovely handwriting,” He acknowledged. “I like how your letters are very round shaped.”

“That’s a weird compliment to give,” Someone reacted.

Sure enough, that was Harrison, sitting at the end of the table, not even looking at you but to the bottom of his glass pint. You frowned at him, not even trying to understand what the heck was going on inside his head. It’s not like the rest of the table even cared masking the fact that he had just spoken either. And the fact that Charles was starting to blush made you want to hurl the coaster underneath your glass at Harrison’s blonde head, frisbee style. Maybe if you did it hard enough, you’d realign some neurons in his stupid brain. Or maybe he’d just shut up, since he apparently couldn’t be bothered to string together more than 10 words that weren’t insulting.

“Well I do think she has nice handwriting, to be fair,” Tom finally reacted. “Like.. There’s a reason she’s the one writing and not you.”

“I appreciate the compliment, just so you know,” You turned back to Charles, dropping a kiss on his cheek. “That was sweet and since no one had commented on it before, I was happy to hear it.”

You stayed there, chin on the crook of his shoulder, just enough time to rebuild the little confidence he had lost through Harrison’s comment. You knew Charles was either super confident or super insecure. This had been something you’d understood about him from the first day you spent together and that had been reinforced through the whole DNS debacle. So if that man was about to sit in front of the guy you used to wish was your boyfriend, you sure as hell were going to hold his hand and prove to him that you had turned the page once and for all.

The second round of questions was pop culture and Charles turned out to be pretty helpful, coupled with Tom. He knew about music, Tom knew about cinema. You covered gossip with Tuwaine, because God knows you were a nosey, petty girl sometimes. Charles got a couple of answers secured, which truly made him feel better if you trusted his little tight fists shaking next to his chest and the most adorable “yes” escaping his mouth every once in a while.

The third round was about geography and Sam was the one you turned to. Charles, once again, had some insight to give. Your rum and coke had been traded for a mojito, which was colouring the tips of your ears with the cutest red hue, if you trusted Charles on it.

Between the fourth and fifth rounds, a longer break was declared, so that everyone could get a drink. Tom dragged Harrison away, which earned a grateful nod on your part. You didn’t dare to think about what idiocy could spill from his mouth again. As if the little digs he threw Charles’ way during the games weren’t enough.

“Are you okay?” You softly asked the driver.

“I’m great, don’t worry about me,” He smiled, softly kissing your forehead and resting his lips there, a bit longer than maybe you expected him to.

“So how did you guys even meet?” Sam inquired.

“Yeah because you’re adorable, don’t get us wrong, but I really don’t understand the whole.. Just.. How?” Harry somewhat slurred.

“We met at a Ferrari event,” Charles chuckled. “She ventured there on her own and I caught her, with her nose almost touching my car.”

“Naughty,” Harry giggled.

“I thought she was looking pretty cute in her little white and red dress, and she clearly was very interested in the cars and the history of the team, so I introduced myself and we got on pretty easily, I guess?”

“I thought you were pretty hot in your Ferrari teamwear,” You confirmed, nodding on his shoulder. “Charles offered to let me sit in his car,” You bragged.

“You sat in a Formula One car?!” Sam gasped.

“Wait what?!” Tuwaine reacted. “You didn’t tell me that!”

“Well, I did,” You stuck your tongue out.

“I really wanted to see what she looked like in my car,” Charles blushed.

“And?”

“She was stunning,” He laughed.

“That’s our girl,” Tuwaine high-fived you.

That was your turn to feel your cheeks burn and you hid on his chest for a couple of seconds, wishing you were back to your flat already. But you were so close to knowing if your answers were right and you selfishly wanted to know if Charles’ were better than Harrison’s.

Speaking of him, the knickerbocker cocktail dropped on the table right in front of your face was enough to drive a smile back on your face, until you realised who had brought it for you.

“Your fave drink, you’re welcome,” He mumbled.

“Thanks,” You forced yourself to utter, even though you really didn’t want to.

You had no idea what Harrison was playing at, but his constant displays of knowledge about you, pushed right down Charles’ throat, were not your vibes. For the rest of the game, you sat quieter, sipping on your drink reluctantly, until Charles exchanged his pint for your glass upon seeing you so uncomfortable about it. You slid your feet on his calf, gently caressing his leg to thank him silently, downing the last of his beer that Tom had bought him in one go, bottoms-up style, which clearly impressed him more than it should have.

Turned out, your team didn’t win that night, even though Charles’ additions to the answers had mainly been right and helpful. It was recurring, so you weren’t sad about it, but you did steal the raspberries at the bottom of your previous glass, which made Charles’ laugh before he picked them up with the wooden pick of the little umbrella that he had fished out of the drink, giving you the pick every time so you could nibble on them, without a care in the world. His eyes were somewhat glossy with alcohol, no doubt matching yours and your blissed out state, which ended up with you being mocked by the twins, telling everyone to keep their hands in their pockets so you wouldn’t go home with someone else’s phone “accidentally” like you had done a few too many times.

“Why should I worry about that?” Charles drunkenly laughed.

“She’s a klepto when she’s drunk,” Harry giggled.

“I’m not a klepto, fuck you mate,” You retorted.

“Didn’t you bring a glass home, last time?” Sam’s eyebrow teased you.

“I’m not a klepto but I can be violent.”

“Would love to see that,” Tuwaine scoffed. “Ten bills if you pound him.”

“Let’s not go there,” Charles joked. “I don’t need you to get hurt in the process, thanks,” He prevented you from getting up, lazily draping an arm on your shoulders.

You nuzzled onto him, closing your eyes for just a few seconds, to get your head a little bit straighter. It had started to feel cottony and swirly about half an hour ago and if Charles didn’t say anything, he did hear the slight slurring on your tongue.

The night went on a little bit but you all seemed exhausted by midnight. Tom was the one to end it, grabbing his brothers on each side and declaring it was time to “put the babies to bed”, to which they groaned, as always. You all stood up tentatively, testing your balance and your ability to walk before you finally made it outside.

In his inebriated state, though, Charles took a minute to drape his coat on your shoulders when you passed the pub’s doors, making Harrison’s eyes roll high. So high you wished they could stay stuck and he’d look like an proper idiot for the rest of his life. It would serve him right. You pictured yourself sticking your tongue at him but realised the biggest mockery you could send him back was to grab Charles’ hand and pretend like he wasn’t even there. Which you did. Tom saw it and asked Harrison to grab a cab, which gave him a reason to stand aside for a few, while everyone said their goodbyes.

You gave Tuwaine and the twins a quick side hug, wishing them a nice night and grabbed Tom for a longer one, whispering a drunk “fankiou” in his ear, which made him giggle and respond with “anything for you, Love”, which you appreciated to its fair value. You knew Tom was the best, it was a fact, it was a sure thing. He just continuously proved it, again and again.

Tom shook Charles’ hand, letting him know that he was looking forward to seeing him again, which the twins did as well, while Tuwaine was somewhat fangirling about going to another Grand Prix and maybe he could let Charles drive him around, just once? Charles nodded, said he would be delighted to receive everyone at Ferrari and Tuwaine was lost for good when Charles gave him a bro-embrace before clapping him on the back and promising that one day, they’d drive around for a bit.

It was nice to see Charles starting to blend with the rest of the group and you did appreciate him even more for that. Even though you didn’t make an effort to bid goodbye to Harrison, Charles did nod at him, confirming that he was apparently the more mature one. It was nice to see you’d made the good choice.

You grabbed a black cab without too much effort, giving the driver your address and letting him in charge of getting you both back home. You didn’t speak much during the drive back home, feeling a bit spent but blissful in each other’s company. Your back was against Charles’ side, his fingers wrapping in the tips of your hair, peppering some light kisses on your skull while he was at it.

You ended up back at your place, stumbling on your feet which made him chuckle a little before he decided he was the best suited guy to take care of the key to open your door. He did help you get out of your shoes, while you were struggling with the shoelaces and he did slip you into one of his oversized hoodie, packed in his getaway bag.

“You look good in my clothes,” He smiled, while you climbed in bed.

“I look good, period,” You scoffed.

“That’s true, I hope it’s not the alcohol talking, though.”

“It is,” You sighed, patting the side of the bed. “Get your cute butt in my bed. It’s cold.”

“Cute butt, huh?” He smirked.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know it. You have the cutest butt of all the butts.”

“Nice to know. I’ll make sure to add it to my resume.”

“You should. You’re like.. Offensively pretty.”

“Offensively?” He finally exploded in laughter, finally granting your wish of laying down next to you and immediately dragging you closer to him.

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be legal,” You mumbled, pushing your cheek on his chest. “God has favourites, and it clearly shows.”

“Okay, time to sleep,” He giggled.

“Stop being so pretty, first,” You sleepily retorted.

Charles didn’t have enough time to even try to comprehend what you were saying. One second you were being a smart ass on him, the next you were adorably snoring on his chest.

“Toi d’abord,” He whispered, kissing your forehead again, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

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castleburgundy · 3 years ago

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Animals

a/n: a little boring snippet of my platonic ace OC who everyone likes interacting with the scary bois. This is an impulsive upload.

warnings: dialogue-heavy, maybe ooc characters, fluff?

Sada stared at her reflection. Using a picture near the counter as a mirror, she turned her head every which way, trying to see her jaw at the sharpest angle possible.

“Do I kind of look like…a Maine Coon cat?”

“What?”

She couldn’t help but laugh at her own question. She turned to her three customers, grinning.

It was her day off. The week before had been pretty busy, so she had plans of sleeping in. Voices and movement from downstairs drew her out of bed. Recognizing the trio of Auras, she moved without caution. Chrollo stood behind the counter, already measuring coffee into the machine. Illumi and Hisoka sat at a table, the latter having raided her fridge for the last two pieces of her peanut butter chocolate cake.

They didn’t need anything, really. They were simply passing through town and made a quick detour to see her.

Even though she wasn’t too happy about them breaking into her cafe, she couldn’t bring herself to turn them away. After scolding Chrollo about having his coat on while he was behind the counter, she disappeared back upstairs to grab a jacket and clean herself up.

And so she found herself unintentionally working; making Chrollo’s coffee the way he usually ordered it and swatting Hisoka away when he tried to smear peanut butter frosting on her pajama pants. After making her own coffee, she leaned back against the counter to talk to them.

Now, they all stared at her.

Hisoka looked amused, as usual, and Chrollo looked at her curiously. Illumi just looked confused. As confused as someone with no emotion could, anyway.

“What kind of question is that?” the Zoldyck asked.

“Like—you know how some people resemble animals? Do I resemble a Maine Coon?”

“Why that specific kind of cat?” Chrollo asked.

“I don’t like how my question is being answered with questions.”

Hisoka carefully scooped up a forkful of cake, “What animal do I resemble, Sada?”

“This isn’t about you, Hisoka. I shouldn’t have to fight this hard for a yes or no answer.”

“What about you two is similar?” Illumi asked, ignoring her steadily shrinking patience.

“I don’t know, aren’t my eyes kind of…big? And the way they kind of change shade when I’m upset. Yes or no, please.”

“I don’t see it, no.”

“Thanks, Illumi. Any input, you two?”

Chrollo looked at her for a moment, slowly nodding, “Kind of, yes. You are rather graceful.”

She smiled gently, “Aw, thank you.”

She turned back to the mirror, trying to force her eyes to darken. It obviously didn’t work.

“I need you to be the tie-breaker, Hisoka.”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. You’re all exhausting.”

Chrollo placed his coffee mug down, tilting his head, “What animal do I look like?”

Sada turned, looking at him for a moment. The big eyes and fur decorating his coat made it easy to answer.

“A sorrel cat.”

“I’m a cat as well?”

“What, you don’t like cats?”

Hisoka pushed his empty plate away, leaning back in his chair with crossed arms, “What about me~?”

She didn’t even stop to think, “A fox. Mostly because you’re sneaky.”

He grinned, further proving her point.

She pointed to Illumi next, smiling, “Dragon.”

He blinked, “How come?”

“Because you’re strong, lanky, and scary.”

Hisoka frowned, practically pouting, “How come Illumi gets to be a mythical creature?”

“An animal’s an animal. I don’t make the rules.”

“I don’t think dragons were classified as animals, though,” Chrollo pointed out, “A creature doesn't always mean an animal.”

Illumi nodded in agreement, “I thought they were seen as weapons.” He paused. “That’s actually pretty accurate, then.”

“Don’t say that, Illumi. I’ll get sad.”

“You’re always sad.”

~~~~~

a/n: In conclusion, gatekeep Illumi from his parents and give him friends :D

Thank you for reading!!

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mayraki · 3 years ago

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✧ feel seventeen again - jj maybank

summary: because you and your best friend jj maybank feel like the teenage years are coming to an end, you both decide to spend the night doing stupid teenage things like the old days. but you didn’t know that at the end of the day, the stupidest thing you’d do is kiss your best friend.

masterlist

rue-bennet’s gif

“I hate work.” You said when you dropped your body next to JJ on the couch at the Chateau. He turned to you after letting the smoke come out of his mouth. “Do you want to hang out tomorrow? I really need to let some stress out.”

He shook his head making the messy blonde hairs on his head move alongside with him. “Can’t. Have to work with my dad.”

“Fuck.” You let out softly closing your eyes. “We haven’t hang out in a long time, dude. What about surfing the day after tomorrow?”

“As much a I want to kick your ass again, I can’t. I have to work with Pope, I’m helping him deliver some stuff.” He let his arm go around your shoulders.

“Kicking my ass? In your dreams, Maybank.” You smacked his hand and moved his arm away from your shoulders, gaining a little grin from his lips. “How about the day after that day?”

“Working with my dad again. But I’m free that morning, are you?”

You slowly shook your head. “No, I got a job as a babysitter. Have to take care of the kid that morning.”

“Then I don’t know what to do now-”

“Fuck!” You let out more loudly this time, making JJ slightly jump by your side.

“Dude! Are you good?” He asked but you didn’t respond to him, instead, as a big sigh came out of your mouth you got up from the couch and started to walk around the room, with JJ following you with his eyes, confused at your sudden change of behaviour.

“Can’t you see what’s happening?!” You asked waving your hands around the air, frustrated. “We’re turning into adults!”

“Adults? We haven’t even started our senior year yet.”

“That’s my point! We haven’t even started our last year of high school and we’re already too busy to hang out! This is getting out of control!”

“Y/n!” JJ got up from the couch and grabbed your shoulders, stopping you from walking around the room. “Calm down!”

“I can’t calm down! I feel like our wild days are ending!” You grabbed his cheeks to pull him a little bit closer to your face. “Don’t you remember when we used to don’t give a shit? When our only problem was the police finding our weed?! Or when the only consequence of our stupid actions were our parents yelling at us?!” As I was talking JJ was slowly opening his eyes wide open. “Aren’t you worry that we’re never going to have that again?!”

“Well now I am!” He said lifting his arms into the air before taking a step back. “We can’t lose that! You’re right! I want to do stupid things forever!”

“Well,” I said quickly shaking my head “we can’t! We have to do something about it.”

“What are you thinking?” He asked with his eyes glued to yours, and when a smile appeared on your lips, he nodded. “I like that smile.”

“Are you free right now?” He nodded. “Then, c’mon. I know the perfect place to go.”

The moment that you and JJ entered your old car you drove away from the Chateau and it didn’t took you long to arrive at your destination. You parked the car by the side of the road and let out a smile when your eyes were following the bartenders going in and out of a house, with drinks on their hands.

“Y/n.” JJ called your name. You turned to the side to face him and noticed that he was confusingly looking around the house. You understood, if he took you to a place where there was people with fancy dresses going into a white big house you were probably going to be confused as hell as well. “What are we doing here?”

“The Kooks have a party here, I saw it as I was driving to the Chateau.” You replied. “And we, are going to steal alcohol from them. Go to the beach, and drink it until we’re drunk and we can’t stand up anymore. Stupid enough.”

He let out a smile when he locked eyes with you and nodded, letting you know that he liked that plan. “How are we gonna get in?”

“You, Maybank, follow my lead.”

As you two got out of the car, you wrapped your arm around his the moment he arrived next to you. Looking around to the people attending the party, they were wearing long and expensive dresses, suits, and the people working had bows and clean cuts. And... well, you were wearing an oversized shirt and your old black boots, while JJ since he had been working all day with his dad he had an old dirty shirt with his usual boots. Clearly, it was obvious that you two didn’t belong there. But that wasn’t something that could stop you, you were extremely motivated and the desire to have a fun and stupid night, getting inside the party made it seem the easiest thing in the world.

You turned to the side to give a quick look to the security guard checking the invitations but you went back to JJ again, ready to pull him to the side of the house without gaining any looks on you. As fast as your feet allowed you, you walked towards the fence as you heard the music getting louder each step you took.

Arriving at the tall fence, you were about to climb it but JJ grabbing your waist and pulling you to the side, hitting your back to the fence while he placed himself in front of you made you open your eyes wide open at the surprise. You were never this close to him, it was weird, since you knew him since you were a little kid, but still, you never had JJ this close to your face. Trying to ignore the speed of your heart you looked down to his hand on your waist but that didn’t help you, it made your stomach turn and make you wonder why was he making you feel so many things.

Going back to his eyes you noticed that he was no longer looking at you, his head was facing your side and that’s when you noticed two bartenders walking by the side of the house to the truck that was parked a couple of feet away from you. As they were talking and organising some stuff, you took the opportunity to stare at a very focused JJ. Every girl in Outer Banks knew that he was attractive, he would always have girls around his arms and ending up the parties with some tourons, and that never bothered you, you sometimes asked yourself how come girls wanted him so much. To you, he was just your annoying and chaotic best friend. But for some reason, having him so close to you made you understand why those girls went so crazy for the famous JJ Maybank. He was extremely attractive, and the poor moon light hitting his face, making him shine, didn’t help you get rid of those strange thoughts.

Hiding yourself well from the bartenders, after they did what they came out for, they walked back to the house while following their conversation. Letting out a big sigh, JJ came back to you and tilted his head to the side as you felt how his breathing was hitting your skin. “You’re welcome for saving your ass, Y/n.”

“What?” You asked quickly as you tried to take your heart back to its normal speed, but his hand was still on your waist.

“Are you deaf or something?” He asked furrowing his eyebrows looking at you and your strange behaviour, as a little smile escaped his lips. “I said you’re welcome for saving your ass, Y/n.”

“Oh, right.” Noticing that JJ wasn’t moving and was too focused on you, you moved to the side while you grabbed his hand to take it off your waist. “That was a close one, dude.” You let out a tiny laugh looking at the fence.

“Are you alright?” He asked and you quickly nodded.

“Yeah, why?”

“I grabbed your waist and you didn’t yell at me or something. I mean, I know that I did it unintentionally and I saved our asses, but still, it’s weird that you didn’t insult me.” He shrugged his shoulders and before you could think of your next actions, you quickly moved your hand to his crotch area, making him take a step back and placing his hands to protect his dick, but before hitting him you stopped your hand, as a smirk came out of your lips.

“Don’t do it again or next time I won’t stop.”

He let out a grin after letting out a big breath out, taking his hands out of his private area. “Yeah, there she is.”

You smiled with the thought that what just happened to you, your heart speeding up was nothing more than just not wanting to be caught. JJ had nothing to do with it, he was your best friend. Nothing more.

You grabbed the top of the fence and turned to the look at JJ. “Are you gonna give me a hand or not?”

He quickly nodded walking closer to you. “Oh, yeah, you’re definitely back.”

Placing both of his hand in front of you, you placed your foot on top of it to push your body upwards and cross the fence. Since JJ was taller, he didn’t need help so seconds later of your feet touching the ground, JJ was by your side trying to take the messy hair out of his face. You smiled again lifting your hands into the air celebrating that you were inside the house and nobody was around that little corner to see you two sneak in. You nailed it.

“Hello?” Fuck.

You quickly turned around like JJ to see a little girl standing with a pink dress and a toy between her hands. She was staring at you and JJ repeatedly as a thousand of excuses where running through your head.

“Hello little girl.” JJ said before you could say anything. He kneeled down and pointed at the toy. “What’s that?”

“What are you two doing here?” She asked as a sweet innocent smile appeared on her lips.

“What are you doing here?” He asked back and you looked at him furrowing your eyebrows.

The girl tilted her head to the side as she crossed her arms on her chest. “Really? I’m ten years old, that doesn’t work with me anymore.”

“JJ.” You grabbed his arm to pull him back and whisper close to him. “She’s a kook, they’re a different kind of kids.”

“I’m not different!” The little girl yelled. “For the way you two are dressing tells me you’re the ones that are different and that you shouldn’t be here!”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” You tried to calm her down.

“You hey!” She pointed at you. “I’m telling my mom that you two are here!” She turned around quickly, making his long and blonde hair fly around her body as her tiny feet stumbled with strength towards the party.

“Wait wait- how about if I give you twenty bocks?” JJ asked her and you pushed his arm.

“Dude! Did you really tried to bribe a rich kid with money?!”

“I don’t know!”

You slapped yourself and then turned around to face the little girl, but unfortunately, she was long gone. “Shit.”

“We really need to go, that little kid looks innocent but I’m pretty sure she works for the Devil.” JJ grabbed your arm so you both could make your way towards the bar.

The moment that you started to hear the sound of people talking you both made sure to not have any eyes on either of you. The long and tall plants that the patio had became your best friends since you didn’t even step away from them to hide behind for a second. You looked around hoping to see the little girl playing around, meaning that she forgot about you and JJ, but your eyes couldn’t locate her anywhere. As you were walking, accidentally you hit JJ’s body so you turned your head to face him but before you could ask him why he stopped, he grabbed your hand and quickly turned you around to head another way.

“What the fuck JJ?” You asked but when you noticed that his fingers were wrapped with yours, you shut your mouth. Your body was quickly following him, but your mind was somewhere else. Why am I not pushing JJ’s hand away and telling him to fuck off so I could lead the way?

While you were walking behind him you couldn’t stop staring at your hand touching his. Your heart, just like before, started to beat faster but what cut you so off guard and made you shook your head immediately, was the fact hay you unintentionally bit your lower lip as a tight nod appeared on your chest. You needed to take your hand away from JJ’s but nothing was making you do it, your brain didn’t want you to. And for some reason, your hand felt like if he left yours, you were gonna miss it.

“Again! That was a close one.” JJ said once he stopped. You were now at another part of the patio but you didn’t look around, your head was still confused. “Oh, sorry-” JJ said the moment he noticed you were staring at your hands together. He let it go and placed his hands in front of crotch, preventing you from hitting him in the dick.

“Yeah,” you nodded looking at his eyes “don’t do it again.” You let out before you could think your words. Without giving JJ the opportunity to respond, you turned around wanting to leave all those thoughts behind and focus on what was important, stealing the alcohol.

“What now?” JJ asked behind you as you stopped behind a plant. You looked around and noticed the bar full of people and bottles of champagne on top of it on the other side of the patio so you pointed at it with your head.

“There.”

“We have to make sure nobody sees us-” JJ was saying but you didn’t hear his words, instead, you left the plant and started walking confidently towards the bar. Soon after, you had a very confused JJ by your side. “What the fuck are you doing?” He asked in a loud whisper.

“If we hide, we won’t get caught.”

“Isn’t that the point?” He asked but you slowly shook your head. Before he could let out another word, you speeded your walk and soon after your body was next to the bar. As you were gaining a lot of eyes on you, you made your way to the front and grabbed a bottle of champagne. A woman opened her mouth offended once you turned around and opened it, to then took it to your mouth and feel the liquid entering your body. Once you took a long sip, you turned around and grabbed another one, still, with every single eye on you.

“Young lady-” a woman said in front of you but you didn’t stop, instead, you walked towards JJ who was looking at you surprised, but with a proud smile on his lips. “Hold on!” The woman yelled again, but you lifted the bottles to the air and yelled: “I’m on top of the world motherfucker!” To then proceeded to give JJ the bottle and grab his hand to run away from the house after hearing the little girl from before yell: “Those kids are weirdos!”

“Fuck yeah!” You yelled back after taking your tongue out to her and gaining a lot of gaps from the people around you, but you didn’t care, for the first time in a long time, you felt like that stupid little kid again.

“Go after them!” You heard the woman yell but it was too late, you had already made your way to the front door and, after winking at some old white rich guy, you left the house running with loud laughs coming out of your and JJ’s mouth.

It seemed that the shook of you stealing the alcohol made your run out of the house like you never did before. Feeling the cold air hitting your face you turned back to see if anyone was following you, but lucky for you and JJ, the only ones left of the street was you and him.

“We left the car!” JJ yelled while you and him were still running.

“Who gives a shit! I’ll pick it up later!” After letting out those words you quickly stopped realising that the beach was a couple of streets away from you and JJ, but it wasn’t your normal side of the island. “Wanna go for a swim?” You asked him once you faced him and immediately noticed the smirk coming out of his lips, to then grab your hand once again and walk together to the Kook side of the beach.

As soon as you felt the cold sand with your feet the moment you took off your boots you felt a slight shiver in your skin, but it completely disappeared when after leaving the champagne bottles beside your shoes, JJ grabbed your waist and legs, lifting you up with the intention to walk towards the water. “JJ!” You yelled the second a laugh came out of your mouth but he didn’t respond, he quickly ran to the water and as soon as some drops of the waves hit your skin you wrapped your arms around his neck for the sudden feel of coolness running through your skin.

“C’mon Y/n!” JJ dropped your legs making half of your body get completely wet. He didn’t let go of your waist when you stood on the ground, instead, he grabbed it with his two hands pushing you more deeper into the water. But you were quick too, the moment that he let go of your body you grabbed his arm and pulled him with you, ending up under the water and immediately feeling the water surround your skin.

“Fuck! It’s so cold!” JJ yelled when you two went over the surface and you let out a loud laugh, slightly shivering under the cold wind that gently blew around you.

The moment that felt your feet touching the ground instead of the water, you hugged yourself with your eyes glued to JJ. Neither you or JJ knew what to say, it was like your eyes and his were experiencing something for the first time. His blue eyes felt like they were putting a spell on you and you couldn’t stop staring at them, wanting to feel them on you until your brain could come up with something to say. But after the seconds passed, a strange wave of safety ran through your veins, no matter what could happen next you were gonna be alright, and all because he was staring at you.

A strong wind moving the water around you, pushed JJ’s body closer to yours. His eyes went wide open at the surprise of having your face now close to his, feeling how his breathing was mixing with yours.

You two didn’t know what was happening, or why, but knew one thing, you didn’t want it to end.

You never expect JJ to make you feel like this, and JJ didn’t either. You knew each other since you could remember... why now? He was just your annoying boy friend, who would tease you with things that he knew would make you mad or ask you to help him get girl, or even be proud of you when you went out on dates with guys.

As confused and weird as everything that was happening felt, JJ, without thinking, grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to his body making you feel his hotness over your skin. Your body was numb under his action as a thought appeared on your mind: two best friends don’t do this. What are we doing?

“We better drink that champagne...” you said swimming away from him with his eyes glued to his. “We don’t want it to lose the cold.”

“Yeah.” JJ nodded while scratching the back of his head. “We don’t want that.”

The moment that you turned around once you had the champagne on your hands, you handed one to him so you two could open it at the same time. For a moment, you noticed that JJ didn’t want to make eye contact with you, and you knew why, but didn’t want to admit it since that could lead to something even bigger and maybe... ruining your relationship with JJ.

At the end, this was just a one time thing... the night and the stress making you feel all those things. And probably, hopefully, JJ thought the same as you.

“To this crazy night and many more to come.” You said lifting the bottle to the air and JJ did the same as little smile escaped his lips. You took the bottle to your mouth to feel it enter your body and enjoy every single second of it, but still, even if you tried your hardest, your new feelings for JJ were all that consumed your brain.

“Was this night what you wanted?” He asked when you sat down and he following you, sitting down by your side almost making your shoulders touch.

“I don’t know.” You replied taking a deep breath in. “Even if yelled motherfucker in a party full of Kooks, that moment is long gone, I can’t keep the feeling in me.” JJ nodded as you two were looking at the water move in front of you. “The feeling of being seventeen, when nothing else matters... just living.”

“We’re growing up, man.” He said. “It sucks.”

“Tell me about it.” You let out a laugh before locking eyes with JJ. He had a little smile on his lips but when his eyes slowly went to yours, you could feel your heart beating faster again.

“We can’t stop it.” He said going back to your eyes.

You didn’t respond immediately, staring at his eyes you took a moment to process the need that just appeared in you. “Maybe we can.”

“Dude! If you have so magical powers that you never told me about, please, do tell.”

“What? No!” You said as loud laugh escaped your mouth. “It’s just- we kind of did it tonight. It isn’t like we used to do it back then, but... it’s something.”

“I have to admit,” JJ said getting closer to you “watching you drink that champagne in front of everyone and then yelling motherfucker was the coolest shit ever.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of it.”

“No you won’t!” He said and let his hands hold his body while they rested behind him. “We kinda did it, huh? Stop time.” He said and you nodded, proudly.

“Yeah, we did. But still- I don’t want it to end.” You turned to face the water and let out a long breath out. “I just feel like, because we have to be so worried about our future, thinking about what the hell are we gonna do after we graduate that we’re missing our last days of our teenage years.” JJ got closer to your body wanting to hear your words more clearer, making you face him and see those blue eyes once again. “I wanna do something stupid. The stupidest thing ever. Something that I’ll regret later, tomorrow, maybe for the rest of my days, or maybe not! I want to do something so stupid that afterwards I’m like ‘what the hell was that?’ but while I’m doing it, it’s the best thing ever.”

JJ stared at you but you went back to his lips when that thought came back to your head. “And what is that?” He asked softly.

You stayed put. Your head knew what it was, but your brain wasn’t giving you the opportunity to do it. So, shutting it off, without thinking you closed the space between you and him and united his lips with yours. You immediately felt the hotness of them, they were still salty from the water but in you lips they felt like nothing but sweetness. Your actions caught JJ so off guard that I took him a couple of seconds to fully process what was happening, with his eyes still opened he stayed still while you waited for him to give in into the kiss. You were about to step back and realise that this, indeed was the stupidest thing you could ever done, and like you expected it, regret it. But before you could, JJ grabbing your waist and pulling your closer stopped you from finishing the kiss.

Even if you kissed many people in your short life, nothing compared to whatever JJ was making you feel while he took control of the kiss. It was clear that he had experience, you knew that, but living it with him was a complete other story. His lips were gently playing with yours as the wind was blowing around, his hand was strongly placed on your waist pulling you closer and making you feel the hotness of the kiss grow each second. But when you felt like you couldn’t breath anymore, you pulled away and found those blue eyes staring at you surprised.

“Wow.” That’s all he said and you let out a tiny laugh.

“Wow indeed.”

You two stayed silent trying to process what just happened and how to carry on... you just kissed JJ Maybank, your best friend, the guy you found disgusting not even a day ago. But before you could give that much a thought, JJ spoke before you. “Was that the stupidest thing you had in mind?”

“Maybe.” You slowly shrugged your shoulders.

“So that means you’ll regret it tomorrow?”

“I-” you stayed quiet. Were you? “I don’t know.”

“Was it... good?” You quickly turned to JJ with your eyebrows furrowed but an uncontrollably smile escaped your lips. “I mean- you said it, you wanted to do something that while you did it, feels like the best thing ever.”

“Right, I said that. Well, in that case, it wasn’t that bad, Maybank.”

“What?” He opened his mouth offended. “Wasn’t that bad? Come here, let me do it again.” He jokingly grabbed your arm and pulled you back to him, but you quickly pushed him away.

“Fuck off!”

“She’s back!”

You let out a tiny laugh as you stared at him. Were you back? Now you didn’t saw JJ as your annoying best friend, he was something different to you. But you had to keep those thoughts to yourself, what if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he sees me as the same girl to annoy? Just like best friends... this is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions.

“You did respond to my kiss, though.” You said without thinking about it.

“Well, Yeah.” JJ said scratching the back of his head. “I did. It was good.”

“Did you actually like it?”

“I-” he stopped himself and that made your heart speed up, he didn’t like it? “I never thought I would say this, but I liked that you kissed me.”

“What?” You asked quickly, surprised at his words.

Neither of you said anything since after a couple of seconds of staring at each other, you both couldn’t control it and bursted out in laughter. “What the fuck is happening?!” You asked loudly shaking your head.

“Dude! We better drink the champagne.” He said handing you the bottle and you quickly took it, trying to calm yourself down.

No... but seriously, what the fuck is happening?

Maybe the kiss was gonna change some things, or maybe not, but one thing was sure, that was the stupidest thing you could have ever done.

>>>

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im-in-vin-ci-ble · 4 years ago

Text

Love Thy Neighbour, Ch. 2

A/N: finally got around to chapter 2!! sorry 4 the delay. also changing this to 2nd person lol

Pairing: Mark Grayson x Fem!Reader

Rating: E

Warnings: minor smut!! Mark’s still a bit of a perv. some swearing

Summary: Mark is now tasked to give his next door neighbour a tour of the city, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to get through the hot summer day without acting on the tension between you two.

As your family and the Graysons sat around their dining table, Mark tried his best not to make eye contact with you. You could, however, feel his eyes on you every now and again, but he would catch himself if he felt like he was being too obvious.

There were a million things running through Mark’s head at the second, and thoughts were mostly disbelief that you, the girl he saw from across his window, were now sitting across him. He secretly revelled at the sight of your form in that tight top tank — a form he almost familiarized himself with yesterday. His eyes would then move up to your gorgeous face, noticing how you only offered small smiles during the conversation, or how you licked your lips when you were asked question.

“I’m still trying to get used to the weather,” you told Debbie and Nolan, who asked you if you were adjusting well. “I didn’t know it could get so hot in the city,” you added, subtly emphasizing on “hot” just to get a reaction from Mark who just could not sit still.

During the conversation, the Graysons found out that your mom was a doctor and your dad was a nurse — an explanation as to why they were barely at home. Mark also excitingly found out that you’ll be attending the same school and the same grade in the fall, and that you haven’t had the chance to explore the city because your parents were so busy at the hospital.

“Mark has some free days while he’s on break,” Nolan said, turning his attention to his son. “I’m sure you can show Y/N around, right?”

Snapping out of the trance you unintentionally put him in, Mark sat up and mumbled a soft “Huh?” in return.

“I said you can show Y/N around the city on your free days this summer,” Nolan repeated.

“That sounds like a great offer, Mr. Grayson,” you began, “but I wouldn’t want to impose.” You looked over at Mark who was slowly turning red and added, “I don’t want to ruin your plans with your friends.”

“No plans!” he quickly replied in a high-pitched voice before clearing his throat. He continued, “I mean... I don’t really have... a lot of plans this summer. I can— I can definitely give you a tour.”

“There you go, honey, now you don’t have to wait around for us,” your dad said. “Thank you Mark, we really appreciate it.”

“For sure,” Mark responded. “I’m actually free tomorrow if... you are,” he told you.

You nodded, “Sounds like a plan.”

— — —

While Mark prepared for bed, he happened to look up at what was now his favorite window. He put on a clean white T-shirt and moved closer, waiting to see if you would make an appearance. As the curtains in your room swayed with the gust of wind from your fan, he looked on as you entered your room with the same terrycloth towel from yesterday afternoon. The routine was similar, except he found the courage to keep his eyes open the whole time. Mark watched the silhouette of your bare body walk to one end of the room then the other, before putting on a shirt and underwear and closing your closet. He stepped back as he saw you move closer to your open window, but he wasn’t prepared for what came next — you slightly drew your curtains open and looked straight at him, offering a wink as you shut your window, drew your curtains closed, and turned off your lights.

This sent the teenage boy into a panic of both excitement and anxiety as he thought of what could possibly happen tomorrow. Turning off his lights, he practically crawled over to his bed and laid there for 10 minutes, thinking of whether or not he should bring this up with you tomorrow. Every time he came up with ways to do so, though, his mind drifted off to the sight of your body and the suggestive wink you threw his way. He could feel the blood rush to his body, and even though he felt like it was wrong, he eventually caved in to his own desires. Mark reached over to his bedside table and pulled out a box of tissues and a bottle of lotion, removed his boxer shorts and pumped a handful of lotion on his dominant hand. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and began sloppily working his erection to the thought of you and the thought of what he wants to happen tomorrow. He squirmed as he imagined you under his blanket, his hand holding on to your hair as he guides you up and down. Mark lowly grumbled your name as he quickly finished on his stomach, but the anxiety of tomorrow entered his mind almost immediately.

“I’m so fucked,” he whispered to himself.

— — —

You woke up the next day bright and early, but not bright enough to say goodbye to your parents who had already left for the hospital. You comfortably stretched on your bed and took a look at the sunlight entering your room from one of the windows, determined to make this day interesting for you and Mark.

Once you were ready, you knocked on the Graysons’ front door and were immediately greeted by Mark.

“Hey, hi!” he said excitedly as he closed and locked the door behind him. He let out an awkward chuckle and shoved his hands in his pocket, “You uh... ready?”

“More than ever,” you assured him with a smile as you walked ahead of him and back to your house.

Watching you walk him him to your house absolutely thrilled Mark. Shit, is this it? Are we really doing this? he said to himself. His confidence and teenage libido shot through the roof as you both walked along the paved ground that lead to your home, quietly hyping himself for what was about to come.

He stopped on his tracks and cleared his throat, garnering your attention. “Are we really doing this?” he asked you with a cheeky smile.

You shot him a confused look, “I thought we agreed on this yesterday?”

“I know, I know, I just wanna double check,” he replied, gradually walking closer until he was mere inches away from you, “because we’re only gonna do this if you wanna do this.”

You bit your lower lip and closed the gap between your bodies that were baking in the summer heat. Looking straight into his eyes with sensual motive, you slowly moved your hand down to your shorts and watched as Mark’s eyes grew wide in anticipation. Finally, you fished out a set of keys from your pocket and handed them over to him.

“You drive.”

The exhilarated look on Mark’s face quickly dissipitated as you walked around him and over to the driver’s seat of the sedan parked outside the garage. His eyes, accented by the crossed brows, followed your trail that was now waiting for the car door to open.

“What?” he asked in bewilderment.

“You’re 17 too, so I can assume you drive?” you hit back, waiting for him to press the unlock button on the car key.

He shut his eyes tight and shook his head in an attempt to snap out of it yet again. “I can, yeah,” he answered, “sorry I thought—”

“Thought what?” you cut him off, your eyes playfully teasing him.

Mark let out a sigh of disappointment and shook his head again. “Nothing, don’t worry about it,” he said, making his way to the car and unlocking the doors for you.”

“Great,” you replied, opening the door of the passenger seat. “Let’s get this show on the road,” you said, throwing a wink his way before you entering the sedan.

A slight chuckle, which was almost mixed with a sigh of relief, escaped Mark’s lips as he momentarily stared the car. He nodded to himself and entered the car, but looked at you with a mischievous grin before starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway.

#finally got this up #mark grayson x reader #invincible x reader #invincible fanfiction #invincible fanfic

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soulmeshart · 4 years ago

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Why Stolitz will be endgame

Since the latest episode of Helluva Boss dropped (episode 5) I’ve been seeing a lot of people simply pointing out that Stolitz is problematic and toxic and that it shouldn’t be shipped. However these people never really think about the fact that a) this is only the fifth episode b) where the ship is heading So I’m here to talk about that. What we’ve seen in these first 5 episodes is simply a look at what the relationship between these two is and who they are individually. This episode in particular was great because it pointed out two important things to us: 1. Blitzo doesn’t hate Stolas’ and deep down probably craves some sort of romantic relationship between them 2. The core issues of their current relationship Let me elaborate both of these 1. So far we’ve had the impression that Stolas is simply a nuisance to Blitzo and that he is simply using him for the book. All of their interactions up until this episode we’re pretty negative and made it seem like their relationship is purely sexual and that it exists for business reasons only. Episode 2 let us know that Stolas wants to get Blitzo involved in his life outside of the whole “transactional fucking” thing and this episode let us know that, well, Blitzo really doesn’t mind that. Think back to the first scene in episode 5. If Blitzo only wanted a purely professional relationship with Stolas or even hated him(as some people believe for whatever reason), he wouldn’t have agreed to go to the Harvest Moon Festival. There was nothing for him to gain by going there and he agrees to the invite without any real hesitation. This let’s us know that Blitzo doesn’t hate Stolas and is fine with being involved with him outside of their deal. Now for the “craving for some sort of romantic relationship part”. There are 2 hints about this in the episode. The first one comes in the scene where Blitzo tries to explain his relationship with Stolas to Striker and gets really emberassed. Remember what Striker says: “So you even conned that ditzy blue blood into getting you to the surface.” If this was the case Blitzo probably would’ve been proud of himself and simply confirmed that what Striker just said was true. But that wasn’t what happened. He got flustered and started fumbling his words around. The second hint is in the scene when Blitzo finds out that Striker is planning to assassinate Stolas. Striker tries to get to Blitzo to get him to join his side. He keeps telling him things that clearly bother Blitzo. For example: how the system is rigged against him. In those things he also lists the fact that Blitzo is being treated by Stolas as a toy/plaything. Now, why would Blitzo be bothered by this if his and Stolas’ relationship really is purely transactional. If that were the case then they’re both just using eachother and that’s the end of that. Blitzo is using Stolas for the book and Stolas is using Blitzo for sexual favors. Now weather this is or isn’t the case isn’t important here, what’s important is the fact that Blitzo doesn’t want this to be the case. Aka he wants his relationship with Stolas to be something more.

2. Now let’s look at the core issues of their relationship which are all presented in this episode very nicely. Stolas does a lot of condescending things to Blitzo throughout the episode. He baby-talks to him twice, puts out a cigar on his horn (though we know fire doesn’t hurt imps, it’s still disrespectful), he shows him off in public like he’s some sort of thing, etc. Now let me clear this up first, Stolas’ intentions aren’t malicious. He loves and cares about Blitzo. When it comes to the show, we know this because a) If Stolas just wanted to fuck an imp, he could’ve gone to way less trouble to do so and wouldn’t have to lend out his book which is VERY important b) He wouldn’t try to get Blitzo involved with his personal life and the most important person in his life, his daughter. A parent introducing their SO to their child is a pretty big deal. Now Stolas should’ve considered both Blitzo’s and Octavia’s feelings before doing that however we know that he really isn’t experienced with healthy relationships with other people (romantic and platonic). If we’re talking outside of the show, there are official instagram accounts for all of the Helluva Boss characters. The two most active ones are actually Blitzo’s and Stolas’ (jeez i wonder why). Now these accounts we’re confirmed to not be a 100% canon in the sense that not everything that happens there happened in the actual universe of the show. However Viv has stated that these accounts are ran by people who know all of the characters PRETTY GOOD. And in case you haven’t seen these accounts, Blitzo and Stolas have a lot and i mean A LOT of very positive interactions there. Sure we will occasionally get a horny comment left by Stolas’ on one of Blitzo’s posts or even a horny post of his own regarding Blitzo. But what we see more is just genuine wholesome stuff between the two. For example: Stolas constantly leaving positive comments on Blitzo’s posts such as telling him to have fun when he goes to hang out with either Loona or M&M, him supporting Blitzo’s passion for art and horses, we also get to see him putting up missing posters and searching for Blitzo at one point when Blitzo get’s lost. We see him visiting Blitzo to take care of him when he’s sick,etc. The list goes on and on. Obviously most of this didn’t happen but what’s important is the fact that Stolas clearly cares about Blitzo, like, a lot actually. The show hasn’t gone to this point yet but this is clearly where it’s headed. Plus the official twitter account for Helluva Boss reposts a ton of Stolitz fanart and they don’t do this for other ships, except M&M.

Now back to the issues of the relationship. All of the things I’ve listed (the baby talk, the cigar thing,etc.) wouldn’t seem like much of an issue IF there clearly wasn’t a class difference between them. In this episode the show REALLY let’s us know how bad imps have it. It’s rare to see them start businesses, the system is rigged against them, Stolas is also kind of condescending to them in his speech (though it’s obvious he actually does like imps and he isn’t intentionally being like this. He even calls the Harvest Moon Festival “charming”). I don’t think he realizes how inappropriate his behavior is. I think future episodes will almost a 100% tackle the topic of Stolas’ realizing how different the lives of imps are from his. This will also let him have a better understanding of Blitzo. All of his actions towards Blitzo through the episode, even thought they’re made with good intent, to Blitzo it just seems like Stolas sees him as a toy (even thought this isn’t the case).

In short, on one side we have Blitzo who is craving a romantic relationship (specifically with Stolas) but believes that Stolas is simply using him for sexual reasons and deeply dislikes his unintentionally condescending attitude towards him, and on the other side we have Stolas, who had lead a loveless life for years and has finally fallen for someone but is too blinded by his infatuation for Blitzo and the thrill of love to consider how Blitzo is feeling and the difference between their positions.

Now, this ship is going to be an end game ship a 100%. What we’ve seen so far is only what the starting point of their relationship is. They’re both going to grow as the show goes on and so will their relationship. Stolas will learn to consider other peoples emotions (which isn’t only a problem specifically related to Blitzo but also his daughter), the struggles of imps and how to properly convey his emotions so that Blitzo doesn’t mistake them as purely sexual. And Blitzo will also need to learn how to open up his heart and to stop running away from others (which is something he does I’m assuming, it looks like he ran away from his relationship with Verosika and it seems like their relationship was p serious given the fact she has a tattoo with his name).

Also while I do think Striker and Blitzo have a fun dynamic, I don’t think this is even an option as an end game ship. The sexual tension was high but that’s about it. Plus Striker was trying to manipulate Blitzo which isn’t cool in my book. Not against the ship tho.

So yeah, gonna reblog this when these 2 idiots (stolas and blitzo) get together with a big “told ya so”.

#stolitz #stolas #blitzo #helluva boss #helluva boss episode 5 #stolasxblitzo #blitzoxstolas #striker #helluva boss striker #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss stolas

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kikyan · 4 years ago

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Yandere Soul Eater Headcanons

These are my interpretations of his persona and none of these are 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional.

Yandere Server

Black Star

I probably am gonna butcher all three but here we go! I’ve only seen the anime so I’ll be going off of that instead of the manga. When we meet Black Star we see a loud boy, a VERY loud person with a ‘radiant’ personality. He holds himself to a high degree and is a very funny person with an outgoing personality. Tsubaki is someone who can match with his soul wavelength because she is a very understanding and patient girl. Off the bat I think that his yandere type would be possessive, clingy, and manipulative.

Let me start at the beginning. It was revealed that his parents were assassins, he never met them but somehow their reputation followed him. People judged him a lot despite him not being like his parents, wrongfully judged but he tries hard not to show it. I think that his personality ties in with that, he wants to alert attention to himself to show that he is his own person.

Clingy. He is a very clingy person because his personality is in a sense, seeking attention. The first person he would seek attention from would be his S/O. He would always direct himself when he completed an accomplishment. Turn to his S/O and ask for their praise, when he gets it he simply turns to say “Well I’m Black Star after all!” He will constantly want his S/O’s attention in anything and everything he does. He’s about to fight someone? You’re coming to watch. He wants to show up whenever he wants. He’ll leave his own home and show up at his S/O’s home through the window because he’s built differently.

Possessive. His S/O is his. Simple as that. He wants their attention 25/8 on him only, if his S/O is talking to someone else. No they aren’t. They aren’t. They simply can’t. Would call out to his S/O and grab them, hold them, put his arm around them, just assert dominance on them because that’s HIS S/O. It would get to the point where he would be over their house or would suggest them moving in with them.

Manipulative. He would be manipulative. If his S/O would be upset about anything he will hype them up. He wouldn’t put them down, but he would question them. “ Well I guess you don’t want Black Star as your boyfriend.” Something like that. He wouldn’t be the biggest with manipulation, but he would drop subtle hints or maybe stop going over making their S/O question what is going on. Make it seem as if it’s their fault he is acting this way, their fault that this happened, etc.

I don’t really see him as a dangerous yandere, but there is a slight chance that he may say some things that don’t sound the nicest at times. He could unintentionally say things he doesn’t mean, his S/O feels upset and then he may not apologize because he doesn’t understand what he said was wrong. It would take Tsubaki and the others to point out what he said was wrong, which would lead to him apologizing and feeling bad. Offering out to do something for his S/O because he is Black Star, he always makes up for mistakes.

Soul “Eater” Evans

When I first started Soul Eater, I immediately looked at this man and said "He cute asf <3" and I still stand by that. Throughout the series you can see him two sides of him you can see a very laid back individual or a sacrificial individual who needs to do everything himself (let me explain)

During the entire show he holds the 'cool' title and wants to be a laid back character who's morals aren't as laid back so he will step in when things aren't 'cool'. It doesn't take much to make him fall in love with his S/O just with enough interaction. With this relationship it's the most normal set up, you're a chill person and we've been friends, wanna go out? As a yandere? This is a tough one because it depends on the side that we're looking at. He, as himself, will do everything to make a normal relationship because I naturally see him as a little possessive guy. If we talk about after the black blood and dark thoughts, along with the little devil corrupting him, he would be a bit more cruel and sadistic in his ways to ensure his S/O will stay with him. With that I think of these, Possessive and Overprotective. Under the black blood's influence? Manipulative, Clingy, Sadistic.

Possessive. I see him being like this naturally, it's just you're his S/O and he wants to make sure people know that. Will walk close to you and if people get too close, he'll get closer till they get the idea. It's just something simple, has an arm around you constantly. Someone is talking to you? He is about to slide in there and wrap around you, inviting himself into the conversation. Sometimes it can get a little too overbearing but crack a joke here and there and it's all good.

Overprotective. He has Maka as his meister, but the cool thing about Soul is that he can turn his arm into a blade so he doesn't need Maka in some cases. No matter what you are, he'll always feel the need to protect you and take care of you. You could be dealing with things on your own but here comes Soul ready to help you. I see him either letting you deal with it while commenting, “Yeah, my S/O is a badass” or the one who thinks “ A cool boyfriend always helps out.” Towards the end of it, it seems a lot more overbearing. With the whole Kishin incident happening, he would be very overprotective to the point where he would request to be in the same group as you when you go scouting or after the Kishin. After the Kishin incident, he can’t help but fear something similar happening and wanting to be more overprotective.

After getting the black blood, you can see that he wants to do the most he can to take care of Maka and ensure nothing bad happens to her. Slowly going insane with the suggestions that the demon gives him. I remember that one episode in the anime where Stein placed them in a room with a scent that makes them reveal their true feelings. Soul wants to protect Maka and Maka wants to protect Soul. Soul wants to be the weapon that he is and protect Maka, even prepared to lay down his life for her whereas Maka wants to protect Soul and avoid him getting hurt. He gets the black blood and the demon starts to exploit his wish by trying to let him lower his guard and taking over him. With everything going on, I can see his S/O siding with Maka and wanting to protect Soul. If he is like this with Maka, imagine him with his S/O. Wanting to protect his S/O is his number one priority, but to what extent?

Manipulative. He would be manipulative with his S/O. He would guilt trip them in some cases if they chose to deny hanging out with him or being a little busy. I think he would gaslight them into thinking that they need him to protect them. They need him, because without him they would be in trouble or maybe even lose their life. If I’m being honest, all he wants is a normal relationship with his S/O but he is very protective over them and will do everything he can to take care of them.

Sadistic, but not by choice. This is a bit of a stretch, but I think he can. Of course under the influence of the Black Blood he would consider hurting his S/O to ensure that they are safe and sound. Breaking a limb or knocking them out to ensure that they can’t move. They need him and if they can’t see that, he needs to show them.

I know that these are confusing and probably won’t make sense, but I think that after everything that happened in that show, he would be horrified if he couldn’t protect his S/O and live up to the ideology that he is a cool person. He would not only break down and lose it, doing what he can to make his S/O trust, believe, love, and depend on him. He would be clingy and if these ever got to be too much, he would turn to them for help. He tries so hard to be the ‘cool’ guy that sometimes he neglects his own feelings. Overall, he would be a dangerous yandere. If I could give a rating, I would say a 4 or a 5/10. He would slowly lose his sanity for his S/O.

Death The Kid

Kid. I would say that he is a complex character but at the same time, not really. When it comes to Kid, I think he would be lowkey kinda scared for a romantic relationship because those require patience which a lot of people lose when it comes to him. Instead of laid back he is those people who go all out in relationships because they want everything to be perfect. With that in mind, I think he would be obsessive, lowkey possessive, and manipulative.

Obsessive. He wants everything to be perfect but it can only be perfect if he knows how to properly plan things without thinking of the what ifs. One way to avoid that is to know everything about your S/O. He would stop to memorize your entire schedule, what you enjoy eating, how much you eat, how much you sleep, your favorite sleeping position, do you sleep with a plushie, etc. Man is OBSESSED with his S/O. Honestly, it’s those thoughts that consume him in the worst ways and worst times. Fighting a Kishin? ‘ What if they don’t like the way that I wrote my name on the group project sheet?’ Like no, you plague his mind 25/8. It would get to the point where he starts to get so obsessed with their life that he might ‘suggest’ or even take it upon himself to ‘help’ you do something in a particular style. Maybe a bit overcontrolling.

Possessive. For starters, his S/O is someone who took patience with him. Liked his antics and understood his way of being. Never shamed him because in all honesty, I’m going to get real for a second. Kid has OCD, with symmetry and while some people find his antics funny and cute because they are portrayed that way, in a realistic setting this is the harsh reality. People with major OCD can’t do things they want to do without it taking an extreme, I don’t think I have OCD but I’ll give examples from what I’ve learned. People who don’t feel clean enough will often wash their hands, shower, or groom themselves very often. We know that while hygiene is very good, it’s very bad for the skin when it’s excessive. People would wash their hands frequently to the point their skin is raw from scrubbing or dry from the lack of moisture being trapped in the skin. Where something they did doesn’t feel right to the point they do it over and over again until it does. It’s something that can take time away from people, so while it’s portrayed to be funny in Soul Eater, it would be a real thing for Kid. His S/O would not judge him, would understand him, be patient with him, and genuinely care for him. People like that are very hard to find in the most extreme cases, of course I’m not shaming people who don’t want to be by someone's side like that because at the end of the day, you have no obligation to be there, but for Kid? His S/O would be there for him. Again, his S/O means the world to Kid because it’s someone who wants him for himself and for everything. He would not hesitate to dirty someone’s reputation or his own hands to ensure that his S/O stays with him. He isn’t playing games, he would proudly show them off because he loves them very much.

Manipulative. Kid is very smart and while knowing everything about his S/O, he can direct his or his S/O’s act to go into his favor. With this in mind, he can do a lot of damage. He would be in pain constantly but he wouldn’t be above making his S/O feel bad or doubt themselves if he has to. He would see that his S/O would feel bad when Kid goes into his mood where he feels like trash. He sees that makes his S/O lean more to him. If he wants their attention or time with them, he would pull that card to get his S/O with him.

Kid isn’t a dangerous yandere who means physical harm, but mentally yeah. He can be dangerous, he is literally the Grim Reapers son, he has so much power but he can be so vulnerable. Physically? He can deal a lot of damage, but mentally? He can deal more. Think of it like this, it’s the fear that this man can inflict pain. It’s the fact that this man who is strong, is being vulnerable in front of you, to you. It’s the fact that he knows certain things about, it’s that fact that his man makes it seem like you’re responsible and that he needs you. It’s the fact that this man could do something and it would be all your fault, doesn’t matter if you know, it’s the fact that everyone will believe that you’re the cause of whatever Kid did. He is the son of the Grim Reaper, he was raised and taught well but you? No, you weren’t.

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pepper-up-potion · 4 years ago

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Starry nights (Remus Lupin x fem!reader)

Summary: Remus has a crush on reader but never directly admits it so reader grows impatient and fesses up before him.

Warnings: the mention of the word penis (not in a sexual way it’s a joke more specifically the penis game where u say the word lowered and lowered in a public place), nothing else, it’s just fluff

Word count: 1783 words

A/n: Once again a fic inspired by my relationship 🙈. I feel like Remus is one of those people that thinks you’re already dating and forgets to make it official (much like my bf) so I wrote a fic about that. Hope you like it :)

(Y/n) is scribbling away trying to finish her astronomy paper about Jupiter’s moons before the end of her free period. She’s gone up to the library where she expects no distractions and absolute silence.

This wish is met until she arrives at her concluding paragraph. Laughs erupt from the front entrance of the library and she suspects that is all the work she is going to get done before class. Three boys sit down in front of her while she finishes her sentence. She finally looks up at Sirius, James and Remus who have just started playing the penis game.

“Penis” James whispers.

“Penis” says Sirius with a normal register. The few students close by turn their heads and look in disapproval. To this the boys start howling with laughter.

Remus fills his lungs and gets ready to scream but she cuts him off.

“Shhhh. You’ll get us kicked out.” She whispers with her eyes narrowed.

Remus looks at her apologetically as he releases the air from his lungs. “Sorry” he mumbles, cheeks red.

“We’re bored y/n come hang out with us.” Says James with a whiny voice.

“Don’t you have work to do?” She whispers sharply. Maybe if Madam Pince sees her whispering she’ll only kick out the boys and let her stay and finish her paper.

“Ughh who caressss” groans Sirius.

“We were thinking of playing a short game of quidditch. Do you wanna come with us?” Remus whispers.

“It sounds fun but I really want to finish this paper before my next class.” His face falls when she declines but he quickly covers it with an acknowledging nod.

“nerd.” Coughs Sirius.

She sticks her tongue out at him making them chuckle.

They quickly realize she isn’t going to budge and before she knows it, they were gone. Grateful for the peace and quiet she focuses back to her paper and writes down another sentence. As she ponders on what to write next she looks up and notices a small bit of folded parchment that had not been there before the boys came to visit.

Looking around to make sure it couldn’t be someone else's, she reaches out and unfolds the paper. Maybe she will recognize one of the boys’ writing and give it back to them.

Meet me at the boathouse at 10:00 tonight. -Mooney

Her stomach fills with butterflies and a deep blush tints her cheeks. It’s been a month now they’ve been going on what feels like dates. It’s always just the two of them, the activity always more romantic than the last. Remus walks her back to her common room every time and there’s the occasional hand hold during these night excursions. Neither of them have addressed how they feel about each other. It’s like a secret they’re both trying to keep from each other. A belief that it’s better left unsaid. Sometimes she wonders what would happen if she told him how she felt.

Remus is standing at the edge of the harbor looking out at the still water.

“Should I have brought a bathing suit? Or maybe a life jacket? How good are you with boats?” She jokes with a quizzical brow.

Remus does a fast 180 and smiles wide as soon as he sees her face.

“Do you trust me (y/n)?” He asks, smirking.

I trust you more than anyone. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you. It’s what she wants to say. She looks in his soft eyes. It’s like he knows the answer already. She settles with a small nod instead.

He grabs her hand and guides her to one of the small boats. He steps in first, offering his hand to help her next. With the flick of his wand the boat moves forward.

“Where are we going?” She asks, already a few guesses in mind.

“You’ll see.” He smirks.

It’s mid-October and she can already feel the cold wind stinging her cheeks as the boat moves away from the castle and into the darkness. They mostly ride in silence. There’s the occasional question and anecdote about their day but they don’t really feel it’s necessary to fill the silence.

“Were here” he says after a while.

“What do you mean we're here? There’s nothing here but water!” She says in somewhat of a panic.

“No love, look behind you.” The surname makes her stomach knot on itself and she feels her cheeks turn that familiar pink. She still can’t believe how easily he can get her all flustered.

She turns at the same time as the boat docks onto an island.

“This is bowtruckle island.” Remus says as he climbs out of the boat and gives her a hand out. “I come here when I need some time away from the boys. This is the only place they don’t know I go to. I call it my safe haven.”

She laughs but after looking at the small island, she sort of understands what he means. “There’s something sort of serene about this place. I can see why you like it.”

“Exactly.” He looks at her in absolute admiration. He knew she would see it too, it’s like she understands him perfectly, she feels what he feels.

For a moment they both stand awkwardly on the shore before Remus pulls out a pack. He walks towards the large tree that almost takes up the whole surface of the island. He pulls a blanket and two small pillows from the pack and lays them out on the ground. He looks up at (y/n) and points to one of the pillows.

“I thought we could look at the stars together.” He suggests.

She smiles and nods in agreement. She never knew Remus could be such a romantic until they started these “dates”.

Their conversations flow smoothly as they talk about the stars and classes and funny memories, getting more and more familiar with one another. They eventually fall into a comfortable silence. The rhythmic sound of the water swishing onto the shore helps her drift away into her thoughts. She wishes she could stay there forever. She feels at her best when she’s with Remus. She thinks maybe she should tell him that. Maybe she should tell him everything she’s ever thought about him. How badly she wants to kiss him. How much she wishes they could be a couple and walk around the school hand in hand to rub in everyone’s face that they are together. How she’s had a crush on him ever since he smiled and shook her hand when they first met in second year.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a sudden warm feeling around her hand. Remus had intertwined his fingers with hers. She turns her head towards him and they lock eyes. There’s a hopeful glint in his eyes. He turns his body a bit to face her and leans forward. She closes her eyes in anticipation for their first kiss when a strong gust of wind swoops their way. It sends a strong shiver down her spine and immediately kills the moment as she curls into herself and unintentionally moves away from Remus.

“Cold?” He whispers. It’s soft but there’s a light growl indicating he’s bummed. He sits up and grabs another blanket from his bag and unfolds it.

“This should hel-“

“What is this Remus?” It comes off much harsher than she had anticipated but she hardly had time to think before she spat out the words. She thinks maybe it would have been better to say any of the things she had been thinking before he went in for a kiss but she’s quite flustered. She’s fallen for Remus years ago and her feelings grow stronger every time they see each other. She just wants more clarity on what is going on between them and she’s growing impatient about it.

“What?” A panicked look crosses his face. “It’s a blanket...?” He tries.

“No Remus, I mean this.” She sits up and gestures to her surroundings. He furrows his brows in confusion. “Well, you’ve been planning these elaborate and romantic nights where we hold hands and do couple things and I have so much fun every time and I feel like we get along really well and I really like you, like I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else because you’re so kind and caring and thoughtful and funny and you smell good and you have nice hair and you’re the only person I want to take home to meet my parents and then kiss in my room afterwards.” She rambles out in one breath. Remus chuckles with a look of pure delight on his face as (y/n) pants completely out of breath, cheeks tomato red from the blunt confession.

“Do I have to wait until I meet your parents to kiss you?” He asks. She can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“Please don’t.”

He cups her cheek before leaning forwards and softly placing his lips to hers. It starts slow and tentative but quickly develops into a desperate kiss as they make up for years of lustful temptations. Remus places a hand behind her head and one on her waist and guides her down onto the blanket as she hums softly in encouragement.

“Woooooo!”

“Finally!”

“Yeah Mooney!”

The cheers echo on the lake as Remus and (y/n) jump apart in surprise. They spot another boat on the water with three boys in it. Remus shakes his head as Sirius jumps up in excitement which sways the boat so far that Peter falls in the water. Peter pulls on the boat until it capsizes and soon there are three heads bobbing in the water.

“Merlin, I can’t with those three.” Remus shakes his head but his adoring smile says otherwise. “This is your final chance to back out. I can’t even take you to my quiet place without them interrupting.” He points his thumb towards the three who are now bickering on how to turn the boat over.

She places her finger on her chin pretending to think about it. “Hmmm, I think the benefits out weigh the consequences” She concludes.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” he says as he fills the space between stopping before their lips meet and quickly jerking back. “Just to be clear, I like you too.” He blurts with a panicked face and hands out to stop her from leaning forward.

“I’m happy we got that cleared up.” She smiles wide. “Now get back here.” She whispers as she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for another kiss, the sound of the boys yelling fading out as the kiss deepens.

#remus lupin #remus x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x y/n #remus imagine #young remus lupin #young remus x reader

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janaeekook · 4 years ago

Text

.Crimson lace.

pairing: bestfriend!seonghwa x reader (f)

warnings: dom!seonghwa, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe kids)

word count: 4.9k

The roads were winding, twisting through the expansive mountain scape around you, Small flakes of snow falling along the road. You were in the passenger seat of your best friends car, the radio softly playing some pop song that Seonghwa seemed to know word for word.

It was that time of year, Seonghwa's family and their annual trip to their cabin. The past years you and Seonghwa had gone up a day earlier than the rest of his family to take up all the supplies for the week and check that the generator still worked properly.

"So what movies are we going to watch tonight?" You asked, curious as to what we would do before his parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins came up tomorrow.

"I'll leave that to you." He said glancing over to you from the drivers seat. You smiled widely, knowing which movies you'd pick for the movie night that had become a tradition.

The smile that masked your face didn't fade as you watched each dainty snowflake powder from the sky. It was exquisitely beautiful, the grey early January sky, the chill of the outdoors cut off by the cars heat and the warm starbucks coffee that warmed you from the inside.

You hummed tugging your legs into a crossed position in the seat, the paper cup still in your clutch. You inspected the glove box, nothing but crumpled napkins, registration and a small first aid kit.

"We're almost there." Seonghwa informed you.

"How did you-"

"You act like I haven't known you my whole life." He chuckled, "You get antsy after long car rides."

You chuckled, forgetting that Seonghwa was indeed your bestfriend, and had been for years. He knew practically everything about you, neither of you ever saw each other as more than bestfriends bound at the hip.

He'd seen you half naked, passed out drunk on the bathroom floor, three times through the notebook after your first breakup, and he was by your side through all of it. Nursing you to health, loving you when you thought no one would, and giving you endless support when your dad passed away.

His parents were the same growing up, knowing your mom was busy working overtime to pay the bills; you'd stay over, that was when you and Seonghwa really grew close, you sleeping on the floor of his dragon themed bedroom.

As your mind continued to reminisce, the car was pulling up to the large cabin, It was large enough to house all 17 of us with its 7 bedrooms. The parents and grandparents got their rooms, the younger kids shared rooms, the girls in one and boys in the other. But as you and Seonghwa got older you started sharing the last bedroom.

It wasn't weird for you, you'd been sharing a bedroom and bed with him since you were both 4. His relatives however always asked if the two of you were dating, and you'd laugh it off because to the two of you it was utterly ridiculous.

You stretched your tired limbs when you stepped from the warmth of Seonghwa's car into the brisk outside winter air, "We made it!" You exclaimed lightly in excitement.

Seonghwa's chuckle sounded warm enough to melt the falling snow all away, "Did you doubt we would?"

You shrugged, grabbing one of the many large boxes of food and supplies that were piled in the back of his car.

"You're a scary driver." You teased, feigning fright. He smacked your arm before grabbing a box as well.

"Excuse me I am a wonderful driver."

You giggled, stopping promptly as you reached the entry way, Seonghwa taking his keys and unlocking the large wooden door. You took a deep breath in as you stepped through the door, the cabin always had a distinct smell a mixture of sandalwood and crisp apple.

"Wait!" You gasped making Seonghwa who stood in the kitchen whip around to look at you in slight concern which quickly faded upon studying your face. Bright eyes and an excited smile as you continued to hold onto the box of food.

"What?" He couldn't contain the contagious smile that spread across his face.

"Can we make a fort for our movie night?"

"Let's get everything inside, and the generator going, first and then talk about the plan for the night, ok?" He said and you nodded quickly in agreement. He watched as you skipped back out the door, and he couldn't help the smile that drew at his lips.

Anyone watching them could see the love and adoration in his eyes, anyone and everyone, except you. Seonghwa had started to feel more for you, he loved you and he wanted you to know. But you were oblivious to the signs he'd been displaying the past 2 years. Sometimes he grew frustrated and just wanted to grab your face and kiss you— but at what cost? What if you didn't feel the same?

Well he knew you didn't, he was just your bestfriend and nothing more. He never tested that boundary for fear of losing you, he could never picture a life without you, it just didn't make sense.

"Hwa!" He was pulled from his thoughts by your voice, "Get out here and help me."

He chuckled, "Ya, ya." Following your words out the door

The generator rolled with a start, humming lightly. Seonghwa stood dusting off his hands as he stood from his previously squat position before leaving the small shed with a huff of satisfaction hurrying the short distance back to the insulated cabin.

"You got it?" You asked the second you heard him come through the door.

"Try the lights." he said, and so you did, the dark room quickly being illuminated by the warm light.

"Haha! Look at that!" You exclaimed, he always loved the excitement you got from the smallest things. Lights, electricity, something so simple and everyday and yet it brought you the upmost joy.

He wanted to tell you how cute you were, "Aww is someone afraid of the dark?" He joked instead.

"Very funny, If I recall correctly you were the one that just had to have his Spiderman night light plugged in."

He scoffed, "At least I don't cry at the sight of an insect."

"Arachnophobia is a very real thing, Seonghwa."

"Then I hope none are lurking around the cabin." He said in an attempted spooky voice, wiggling his fingers as he moved his arm toward you, which you proceeded to hit out of the way. You stuck your tongue out at him.

"Jackass." You said, and he only replied with his melodic laugh, You threw a folded blanket at his chest, "Now help me with the fort."

You both threw blankets over the couch and propped them on various chairs from about the cabin. Purposely leaving the fluffiest and nicest blankets for the inside, where you also strung fairy lights randomly. It was as magical and cuddly-cozy-warm as ever. You climbed in wrapping yourself in a blanket then opened your laptop in front of you, Seonghwa joining with an armful of snacks.

You hummed, grabbing a handful of popcorn, "You know the way to my heart, Park."

"Its like I'm your bestfriend or something."

"Hm, so 10 Things I Hate About You, ya?"

"Whatever makes you happy." He said with a smile. That's all he wished, for you to be happy, and if sitting here with you in a makeshift fort of blankets and fairy lights, with snacks that were bad for you and cheesy hallmark movies, was what made you happy— then so be it. If you insisted, he would sit there all the days of his life with you.

He sighed lightly to himself, You've got it bad Seonghwa. He thought, though he knew, he'd known. Falling helplessly in love with his bestfriend, who saw him as just that, her bestfriend.

How truly infuriating it must be for him to see you look at others and not even consider him. Though that wasn't your fault. You didn't know. He wished you'd notice, but you still hadn't. It had been years, every holiday, coming up to the cabin— falling asleep next to the other.

He looked over to you, your eyes shut and lips parted slightly. It was unbelievable, you always insisted on a movie night but Seonghwa knew you'd be asleep by the end of the first. That's just how you worked; he studied your sleeping face with a smile, tuning out the movie. He thought you looked beautiful, truly.

Unconsciously you scooted toward Seonghwa's warmth. His lips forming a sad smile as he watched his sleeping bestfriend cuddle into his chest. You'd always been cuddly, ever since childhood— as if you had been starved of physical affection your entire life. So you'd always found reasons to hug him, or others and be close to them, not wishing them the same fate.

This is how he'd fallen in love with you. Why, he'd fallen in love with you. Simply for you and your heart.

Though he was still a teenage boy, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, that night, heart racing, skin damp with sweat and his boxers straining against him. He wanted to curse at himself, to ignore it and go back to sleep. But you moving in your sleep forced him to fight off a moan as your ass pressed against him unintentionally.

He nearly jumped off the floor and right up hurrying to the bathroom, where he shut and locked the door, before leaning against it. He looked at the clock that quietly ticked on the wall, 3:45 am. He sighed, annoyed then pulled his sweatpants down just enough to take himself into his hand, pumping himself as he searched for relief. And he did, cumming over his hand as he whispered your name.

The next morning you woke up, Seonghwa no longer next to you. You looked out of the fort finding him sitting on an uncovered part of the couch, eyes fixated on the TV.

"Seonghwa?" You croaked out, he turned to glance at you, his cheeks red but you assumed it was from the cold, "What's going on?" He didn't actually respond just turned up the volume on the TV.

Breaking: All roads on the highway north are closed after an unexpected snow storm dumped at least 5 feet of snow in the middle of the night, authorities are advising residents to be patient as they work to clear the roads.

"We're snowed in." He finally said.

"So- what does that mean about your family coming up?"

"They're not." His voice seemed strained, as if full of dread.

"Jeez, I can't be that awful to be around." You joked before stalking off into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

What you didn't know however was what truly was going through his head. This had to have been some twisted fate the universe had placed on him, working to test his strength in the process. How long could he hold out? How long could he restrain himself in these close quarters? Maybe it was the cold getting to his head, making him weaker.

"Do you want pancakes or waffles?" You asked from the kitchen, effectively knocking Seonghwa from his trance.

"Did you really just ask me that question?" He seemed borderline offended.

"Who else?" You snorted

"Waffles are 100 times better than pancakes, you know that." He stood walking into the kitchen and standing on the opposite side of the island.

"Excuse me? Pancakes are so much better than waffles, they're fluffy."

"But everything just spills off the top, waffles have indents to capture all of that flavor so you don't miss any of it. Plus pancakes are always raw in the center."

"Are not!" You turned around facing him fully now.

"Why'd you even ask me then if you like pancakes better."

"I don't know, maybe because I thought it was a simple question." You retaliated.

"Are we really fighting about pancakes and waffles?"

"Yes, now you can make your own breakfast."

"You're a pain in the ass." He said walking around the island and grabbing cereal from the cabinet.

"Dido." You said in a sing-song voice and smiled at him. He sighed, shaking his head at you with a smile across his own lips. This was what your friendship had always consisted of, joking play fights and comments. You were probably more comfortable around Seonghwa than your own family, partly because he felt like family to you. You threw a chocolate chip at him as he sat at the counter and you wondered in that moment what you would do without your bestfriend. The rest of the day passed at a snails pace, being snowed in only making you more aware of how seemingly little there was to do in the rather large cabin. You danced to music in the living room as Seonghwa laughed saying that you had 'not a single dancer bone in your body' to which you answered him by throwing a pillow at his head. That had led to a merciless pillow fight between you, which of course he ultimately won. Later in the day You sat, reading a book on the couch. You weren't exactly sure what the book was about, you had simply found it on the book shelf. It was interesting, interesting enough for you not to register that your bestfriend had entered the room again after having gone to change.

"Hey," He said, grabbing your attention, "I'm gonna go out, check the main roads. You gonna be ok?" Seonghwa asked pulling gloves onto his hands.

"Ya, I'll be fine." You smiled at him from the couch. When he walked out the door and you heard it close behind him you dropped the book, you needed to shower, and it'd just be easier if Seonghwa was out while you did.

You threw your hair in a bun as to keep it dry, stepping into the running water and washing your body. It was hot against your skin, and you sighed as your body relaxed. You took your time as the water ran over you. The past day had been a whirl-wind of surprises, with all the snow, we were able to call Seonghwa's family with the land line, but other than that there was no reception, No clear way to get home as the snow blocked the roads. The plows hadn't made it through the back roads. It wasn't too awful being stuck with Seonghwa-- if it was anyone other than your bestfriend you think you'd have pulled out all your hair already.

Though not having your alone time already had you cranky, you sighed, washing your body. Finally feeling clean you shut off the water and stepped out, standing on the small shower mat you looked into the mirror, You allowed your eyes to scan you body decorated with water droplets. You felt-- pretty, as if your insecurities had been washed away, and saw your body for what it was, you. You smiled lightly before grabbing a towel and drying your skin. You left the humid bathroom and went to the bedroom, kneeling in front of your suitcase in hopes of finding something comfortable to wear. Though when you flipped open the lid you saw the crimson lace. You felt heat rush to your cheeks at the thought of why you even packed the scandalous piece of thin fabric. What were you even hoping to accomplish?

You lifted the lingerie up, you bit your lip lightly, Seonghwa wasn't there it'll be fine if you wore if for a bit. right? You sighed again before you stood, dropping the towel, and letting it pool at your ankles. You pulled on the matching lace set, before looking over yourself in the full length mirror in the bedroom. It fit perfectly, and boy did it make your confidence soar. You felt empowered by your own body, beautiful. Any supposed imperfection, that prompted insecurities in your heart and mind, a mere reminder of how uniquely beautiful you were.

You weren't sure how long you stood there. But your heart stopped when the door was pushed open. Though you didn't yell, you didn't even move to cover yourself. No, you weren't frozen but deep down, you wanted him to see you-- even if you hadn't realized it.

"Hey, Y/n, the roads-" but he stopped mid-sentence when he was welcomed to the sight of you in next to nothing. His eyes seemed to cloud with a dark lust, you held your breath, he stepped closer, the tips of his fingers grabbed at one of the straps. His eyes fleeting over your body once more, as his fingers traced the crimson lace that covered your breast. His intense gaze met yours again when his hand fell away from your chest.

"What are you doing to me?" His voice a low whisper.

"You said you went to check the roads." Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, the way your bestfriends eyes ran over your body, drinking up each curve. It should have made you uncomfortable, but you couldn't help but feel desire creep into your thoughts.

"That was an hour ago."

"Oh." was all you could find in your mind to say. It was silent for a few beats before you decided to speak again, "Seonghwa."

"I need you to let me know if you're uncomfortable, because, I really don't want to hold back right now." You'd never heard Seonghwa sound so sultry before to someone, let alone yourself.

The whine that involuntarily slipped past your lips encouraged him to step forward and entrap your lips with his. It was a searing kiss, he pushed you back against the small desk that was behind you in the small bedroom.

You felt as the red lace of your panties pooled with arousal, your cheeks flushed, wondering how your childhood bestfriend made your body feel so uncontrollably hot, without even so much as a touch to your skin. He hiked you onto the small desk nudging your legs apart with his knee so he could stand between them.

"Was this your plan? Hm? Get me to lose control and fuck you?" His fingers traced your jaw hooking lightly under your chin, forcing your eyes to meet. His eyes held a hard questioning gaze, you tried to shake your head no but he held your chin in place, "Use your words."

"No- no hwa."

"No? You sure darling? You just happened to be wearing this?"

"Yes." Your tone was soft as your confidence, for the first time since you were children, wavered under his gaze.

The corner of his lip quirked up lightly, "Am I making you nervous darling?" His cocky tone oozing from each word.

"Seonghwa-" your voice breathy as you looked up into his eyes, his fingers moved over the wet patch on your red lace panties.

"That needy baby? Hm?" He asked when you whined.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Make me feel good."

Nothing more needed to be said as his lips were on yours again need and want burning between you. You'd never felt it before, you'd never wanted someone to touch you intimately so badly, especially not Seonghwa. But there was something forbidden about his touch that made your body hot with desire.

He got to his knees before you, his face now parallel with your cunt. He kissed over the thin fabric and your breath shuddered. He thought you looked beautiful, the red lace complimenting your skin tone perfectly.

"God you're perfect." And with that he pushed the barrier of fabric to the side running his tongue through your slick folds. The noises you made only further expressing how needy you really were, it felt wrongfully right. His mouth on you bringing you to the edge quicker than you imagined possible and it was just his tongue, he didn't need anything more to pleasure you.

"S-seonghwa-" your head lulled back in response to the overwhelming pleasure, your eyes squeezing shut, your ears tuning into the wet noises eliciting from between your legs.

Your head snapping back to the man between your legs when he pulled away. You whined with a solid pout on your lips having not finished.

"Not yet." Was all he said, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He pulled you from the desk, his lips finding yours again as he pushed you back until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed. He eased you down onto the plush mattress, your lips never separating.

Removing his clothes you felt his own hot skin against yours. Everything seeming to melt together, the lines of your friendship, your bodies as you pulled eachother closer— feeling your need grow tenfold as his hips grinded down on yours.

Voice breathy in your throat you managed to push his name out, "Seonghwa-"

"Mmm, you sound so pretty saying my name."

"Seonghwa, please." Your voice more stern now, you needed relief from the pulsing between your thighs.

"Begging now, are we?" He smirked as he teased you and you rolled your eyes, "Don't worry darling, I'll make you cum on my cock."

And in that he didn't lie, his lips peppering you neck and collarbones before wrapping around your lace covered nipples. Removing his own clothes eagerly, but he froze.

"Condom-"

"I'm on the pill, Hwa, please don't stop now." The desperation in your voice fueling his own need to be inside you. He craved to feel you warm around him.

Running the head of his cock over you folds caused his breath to catch in his throat, every late-night forbidden fantasy when he laid in his bed alone, dominant hand pumping himself to the thought of you. It was all about to become very real, a shaky moan leaving both your lips as he pressed into you. There was no going back after that, not as you came on him within minutes— no matter how much your head denied your want for him, your body couldn't.

Though when he came, soon after you, he didn't stop. You whined not because it was bad, but because the overstimulation burned in your stomach. It was intoxicating and Seonghwa continued to drill into you. Determination was clear on his face, his lower lip pulled between his teeth. Your eyes met his.

"God, I can't get enough of you." He panted out. Each breath grew sharper as he worked himself to his second consecutive high.

You couldn't speak, your brain was far to hazy, only your moans of pleasure and your thoughts screaming his name. The slapping of skin, over the bed creaking beneath you, and your incessant noises— becoming deafeningly loud.

Though you weren't all too worried about about being too loud. The dense snow covered forest beyond the walls of this cabin hushing it all, "Seonghwa!" Had only been a mere whisper to the trees. What had just happened between you and your bestfriend? You couldnt really say-- and he couldnt either as you both tugged on your clothes again. Neither one of you having any clue how to start the conversation at large. Though Seonghwa's voice finally broke the silence.

"That was-" He paused searching for the right word to use.

"Really good." You finished for him, another lapse of silence passed.

"I'll just- go and start a fire." Seonghwa said before leaving the room.

"I'll make dinner." You spoke quicker than you normally would and rushed off to find solitude in the kitchen. In the privacy of your own minds you thought the same thing, What was that? And why did you want more? Though was there even more to ask for when you'd seemed to have done everything?

The two of you slept separately that night, not wanting to fall into the temptation of the others skin. At least not before you figured everything out. But as you laid alone in the bed, and he in the living room in front of the fire, all that either of you could think of was your bodies pressed snuggly to the others. How it felt to have him inside you, the feeling of his hot lips on your skin. It was loud in your thoughts, and every time you tried to push it down and settle your heart, It only got louder. Sleep did eventually come to you, albeit reluctantly. It was rather short lived, you waking up to Seonghwa shaking you awake.

"They cleared the roads, my mom said we should just head home." You nodded in understanding, before watching his back as he left the room, studying the way he moved. It was effortless, graceful. You shook your head, bringing you back to reality.

By the time you were ready, Seonghwa had already had the car fully packed. You could sense that he was eager to get back home and have time for himself to think, and you didn't blame him because you wanted the same thing. You didn't want to walk on egg shells and give each other the silent treatment any longer. Yes, you wanted to figure it all out and for things to go back to normal between you two. But you couldn't help the instinct to run and hide because the feelings in your heart scared you. You'd grown so comfortable knowing Seonghwa as your bestfriend, that you weren't sure of how to react to that security changing overnight. That, your bestfriend could be more than that of a bestfriend.

It was January and the start of the last semester of senior year. A week and a half since you'd slept with you bestfriend. Seonghwa had effectively been avoiding you and you weren't exactly searching for him either, you didn't know how to start that conversation.

'hey, I know we broke every rule in the book between us but, bestfriends still?' You knew it simply wouldn't be that easy. The things he said, the way he touched you, and made you feel. The emotions now a constant linger in your mind.

You couldn't just move on like it were nothing, because it wasn't nothing. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea but you couldn't help but think, that you wanted it again. More of him, if that were even possible. You'd never thought you'd think of Hwa that way, not in a million years. Though you didn't know how to face him. But not seeing and talking to him after being so vulnerable with each other made your heart ache.

It wasn't until he showed up at your door on that rainy Saturday afternoon, that you saw him. Your heart picking up in speed. His wet hair sticking to his forehead, had he always looked this good doing something so simple? Wearing something so simple? You were sure he could hear your heart pounding in your chest.

"We need to talk." He said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself, he continued as he stepped through the door, "I can't- we can't avoid this anymore. I'm sorry, y/n, I shouldn't have came onto you like that, god I should've known this would mess everything up."

"Seonghwa-"

"You were vulnerable and I let my feelings get the better of me," he hung his head, "Y/n I'm so sorry, and you don't have to forgive me."

"Seonghwa, I'm not mad at you." you said quickly so he wouldn't interrupt you again.

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Why are you?" You asked softly, trying to convey your thoughts, you sighed, "You're just as scared to face these feelings as I am."

His head snapped up and his eyes found yours for, what seemed to be, the first time since he'd been there. He searched your face for any sign that you weren't serious, he came up empty handed. Had you both been feeling this?

"You-?" His eyes continued to search yours, He had so many questions, When? Why him?

"-Love you." You finished his thought with a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear. His features visibly seemed to soften before he was kissing you again. You had longed for his lips to be on yours again since the moment they left, for you melted so easily into it.

He pulled back resting his forehead on your own, "I love you too." and he delved in for another kiss, before he quickly pulled back again, "Your mom."

His voice a low whisper with a tone of disappointment. But you only chuckled at him.

"She just left for her 72." You told him, and he smiled, already having plans for your alone time.

"Perfect."

You shook your head at his eagerness as he practically dragged you up the stairs to your room, "You know we'll have to tell our parents eventually right?"

"I know," He said, turning to face you once you were both in you bedroom, "But lets just enjoy this alone time." His palms held your cheeks as he kissed you with such passion it felt as if he'd taken your breath away, But you leaned into his warmth anyway before kicking your door shut with your heel.

As the sun slipped beneath the horizon and the rain poured harder outside, he showed you how much he loved you, he told you, and you fully welcomed the lingering emotions. You became his, in the twisted sheets, the loving kisses, in the noises that escaped from your swollen lips, and the baroque, Crimson Lace.

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