#what do you mean she’s evil? she’s just chaotic but in the best way

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Merlin: I support women’s rights. *sees Morgana getting upto shenanigans* but I also support women’s wrongs. You’re doing great Morgana!

[sailorgundam308]

Karlach isn't a good girl

Listen, LISTEN. I love her, okay? Now that's out of the way. I see many people reducing her personality to the "big friendly labrador dog" thing. And while it's cute and all that, I disagree. Let me get into why I think Karlach isn't the goodie nice girl she puts a lot of effort to be. She has just returned to Faerun when we meet her in game, and she IS trying her bestest to start anew, to be the best version of herself now that she is free. But it doesn't mean she was always like that, or that her past has not changed her. I think it did - quite a lot, in fact.

Let's start with Gortash. She worked for this fucker. Granted, she might not have known he was such an evil bastard at the time, but she was his bodyguard. And by bodyguard, it is implied that she was his bully, his enforcer and debt collector - you know, the kind that breaks knees and kills people. When she meets an old friend in the city, that friend asks her if she is still in "the business of intimidation", and offers her to come see weapons. Even though Karlach, in her mind, might have been convincing herself that doing such a job was to help someone she respected, she still did it. And that is FINE. She was a young orphan, a tiefling in a place where tieflings are discriminated against harshly, poor and without much perspective. Of course a guy coming over offering her a well paid job that she excelled in would seem like winning a lottery. Still, she was a pretty shady violent person doing it. Now, the Hells. Avernus. She was sold to Zariel quite young still, and went through all sorts of torture and other perks enslavement gets you. For 10 years. She was scared shitless while there, especially in the beginning - she says so herself (to Halsin). All the carnage she inflicted was not (very) voluntary. She HAD to, or she would be the one getting killed. But she enjoyed it - or grew to. She likes violence, the adrenaline of it, the rush of excitement. The thrill of it, she says, is second only to sex.

Continuing on. Avernus, as well as the other layers of the Nine Hells, is not like the Material Plane. The place itself influences you. It means that being in Avernus for any time changes/corrupts/influences who you are. The longer you stay there, the deeper it gets. It did so to Zariel who was a literal angel. Avernus (and it's Archdevil's personality) insidiously get in your body and heart. It is just the way it goes, lore-wise, in DnD. If a fucking SOLAR wasn't immune to it, Karlach - young and lost - certainly wouldn't be either. Even more so because she was near Zariel all the time. I strongly believe Karlach was getting more and more exactly like Zariel - who herself is a fierce berserker warrior who charges head first into battle. Zariel is KNOWN to be this crazy strong, insane, fearless and (in her mind) righteous demon-smiting war machine. Sounds similar to a nice red tiefling we know, doesn't it? Now, did Zariel chose Karlach beause she was already like this, or did Karlach took after Zariel while she fought with her? Hard to tell. In any case, Karlach's 10 years in the Hells did change her. Needless to say, Avernus doesn't change you for the better. It doesn't mean that Karlach became "evil" - she is obviously far from it. But she is chaotic, violent and bloodthirsty. She is also selfish. There are several situations where this personality trait of her comes up.

It may sound kinda wild considering how she offers to help everyone and even sacrifice herself (since she's already dying anyway) - when we meet her. But that's the thing: she is being as selfless as she can now because she has been very selfish for a very long time (proof she has a conscience). Perhaps, she is terrified of what she was becoming and is trying to make amends, to revert whatever evil was growing in her.

She mentions herself that she did not help the tieflings of Elturel when their city was pulled down into Avernus. She did not get out of her way to help them. Instead, she thought that if "she was living that nightmare, they'd have to live it too". She would not put her neck on the line to help another - which, not so coincidentally, is typical behavior in the Hells (again, proof that Avernus was indeed getting to her). The Hag's Vicious Mockery targeted specifically at Karlach mentions how she is willing to "sell everyone's soul's if it means she can save hers". We do not know exactly what it refers to - soul coins, throwing others under the bus, ignoring people in need - but it reinforces the idea that Karlach was not the nicest person for at least 12+ years. Granted, the devils around her were much worse - but they are DEVILS in HELL. So.

Generally, in game we notice that her effort to survive and stay alive has pushed her selfishness to grow. But it still is selfishness. Another example is how she disapproves (together with Astarion), if you say to healer Nettie that you "swear to drink the Wyvern poison". She wouldn't drink it. She'd rather kill Nettie (that gets hostile).

Another hint at her grey-ish personality is when she talks to/about Wyll after he is punished by Mizora for not having killed Karlach. She mentions that she would NOT have done the same in his place. That he was better than her. Again, she would not put her skin on the line like that. She would and has turned a blind eye to situations and persons if it meant it would guarantee her survival or avoid injury. (Mind you, I 100% belive she would do this sacrifice if she was in love with someone, though.)

She will ask to, and will use Soul Coins even though she knows it's morally a sus choice to do so. If you play as her she will repeat to herself "I won't use them, they are people's souls - and I am GOOD." like she is trying to convince herself. Because she would fucking use them to smash some big fuckers in a blink - and feel awesome while doing it. Even as her, she keeps insisting "But... maybe I can use them... JUST when I really need them." Additionally, when she talks to the bugbear merchant in Moonrise Towers and he offers her soul coins, she doesn't really feel guilty for the stories of the souls in them. She even says at some point "they are already doomed, so why not use them anyway", justifying that she will only kill evil bastards with them. In any case, the morality of her choice is debatable. It makes clear that Karlach is not "lawful good" by any stretch.

Let me reiterate that just because I am saying all this about Karlach, doesn't mean I dislike her. I think she is abso-fucking-lutely the best character in the game. But I hate to see her personality "flattened" to nice happy go lucky gal. I think she has a grey-tinged personality - she has good and bad aspects to herself; she has character flaws too.

But I also think that she is trying her damn hardest to be the best she can be right then. The opposite of what she's been. Maybe it is because she has so little time left, that she needs to be the absolute best version of herself while she can. Perhaps she is trying to be what she would have been if her parents did not die - because they seemed like great loving parents. And I think Karlach didn't turn into a broken evil maniac because of them, the way they raised her while they were alive. But she lost her mom at 6, her father around 13-15. After that, it was struggling on the streets, Gortash and Zariel - betrayal, violence, carnage, war and loneliness. It is too naive to think a person would not change after all this, that Karlach would not carry more scars than those she shows on her body. To her credit, she turned much MUCH better than anyone would have. She WILL kill with a grin on her face, seek violence, blood and even revel in it - she learned to relish it and now it's part of who she is. She is selfish, she will look out for herself and has no qualms about killing or throwing people she doesn't care for under the bus (if she sees justification for it). BUT she knows what evil is, and doesn't let shit happen to people who don't deserve it. She will side with those who suffer prejudice and fight against what she sees as injustice - but even she has a limit to how far she'd go.

If you raid the Emerald Grove, she will leave the party. To me, this screams of her trying to right her past wrongs. She left the Elturians to their fate once before, so she MUST save them now that she has another chance - and that it won't cost her her life. I love her being 1/3 brutal killing machine (and fucking LOVING it), 1/3 ptsd, fear and overcompensating trauma under a smile, and 1/3 just trying her best, really, and being lovely for it. Phew. That was a long rant. I guess I just wanted to organize my thoughts about it a bit :V

[skiddlecat]

you know what? fuck it. the dynamic between taco and microphone is really interesting and dumbing it down to "evil terrible abuser and poor innocent victim" flattens both of their characters simultaneously.

they both hurt Each Other in ways that can't be undone!!! mic did her fair share of Fucking It Up Big Time as well and i think the way their fallout went down is the best example of times mic could have been better. and before anyone says it NO i'm NOT saying she didn't have a right to back out when she did but what i AM saying is that i think the way she handled cutting taco off showcases one of her biggest character flaws EXCELLENTLY:

when she's hurt by someone, she will hurt them back twice as hard. cheesy makes an insensitive joke? she calls him a monster. taco relapses in her bad habits? she weaponizes her past friendship with pickle. i'm pretty confident in saying both of these responses are Pretty Damn Disproportionate. and i think that's really interesting!!! we should talk more about this!!!!!!!!!

taco did a lot of bad things in their friendship and should absolutely be held accountable for it, but i also think simply calling her a heartless abuser is horribly undermining her character. like, imagine with me, if you will:

(post-writing note. HOLY SHIT this was way longer than i thought it'd be. putting the rest of this post under the cut because the previous paragraphs are pretty much all my thoughts but i kind of go into a full taco character analysis below. if you want to see that then keep reading i suppose LMAOOO)

you once accidentally formed a friendship with someone based off of a lie. you exposed the lie, sabotaged that relationship, and cut him off. that was the last conversation you had. a good while later you realize that, oh no, you actually DID care about this person, and you miss him! but he's GONE and it's YOUR FAULT!!! so you write. you write, you write, you write, hoping to get a response, but you never do.

and then. and then you find someone else. someone who's loud, chaotic, cast out. she reminds you a little too much of the lie you built for yourself. and so, you help her. for your own selfish reasons, sure, but you attempt to reign her in. she doesn't trust you at first, you don't trust her either, and you are... less than kind to her. it's not pretty, but at this point it doesn't really matter to you, because right now she's just a means to an end. she doesn't mean anything to you.

but slowly, over time, things start changing. she starts seeing past the brick walls you built around yourself. starts trying to break them down, little by little. you avoid, you resist, you do everything you can to prevent her from getting through, because vulnerability is frankly disgusting, and you don't want to talk about your problems anyway! but, this doesn't last. you actually apologize to her, for being so closed off, because you should be doing better, and she seems to appreciate it.

someone brings up that old friend to her. you get MAD. it's like rubbing salt in the wound, reminding you of every reason you're not happy, every reason you've been scared of getting too close. he suggests that you will leave her the same way you left him.

and. surprisingly. your ally does not side with him. she tells him you're changing. you're changing. she looks at you and all of your disgusting flaws, and she sees someone not beyond redemption. and you think that maybe. maybe you can trust her. maybe you CAN let your walls down. maybe you won't screw it up this time. and, and...

one mistake.

a pretty big one, granted, but a mistake nonetheless. you relapse into some bad habits, because the situation you entered was not the one you planned for. and she's mad. so mad, in fact, that she takes your old friendship, something she knows is a touchy subject, that hurts every time it's brought up, and she weaponizes it. she looks at you as if you mean nothing to her, and then she leaves. she leaves before you even have a chance to respond.

one. mistake.

one mistake is all it took for her to grow sick of you, for her to agree with all of the terrible things people say about you. and what hurts the most is that you TRUSTED her. you thought you could be open with her, you thought she was DIFFERENT. but no, she's not different. she's just like everyone else. and maybe, if the one person who believed you could be better gives up on you... maybe they're all right about you.

the walls are back up. they're thicker, stronger, and as far as you're concerned... it will take FAR more convincing to let anyone get through ever again.

...and then mepad comes along and says he doesn't even believe you're a bad person in the FIRST place, which is. astounding and very hard to believe but he's seeing you at your absolute worst being needlessly cruel to everyone and is STILL saying this with complete confidence so, fuck, kind of hard to keep THAT up for very long. then ii16 happens and you know the drill SHE'S DOING BAD.

hoo boy this went on for a lot longer than it was supposed to. anyway all this to say i think we should talk more about how they both hurt each other rather than push the narrative that one of them was "the abuser" and the other was "the victim" because frankly that's not even how it works in real life. thank you for coming to my ted talk i've been sitting on this for weeks afraid that i'd be told to kill myself over anons 👍

[dr-spectre]

honestly the only thing i wish now since team past won is that we don't get a great turf war game.

A more past based aesthetic sounds inherently cooler for a game no matter what people say.

I think i was being a little too harsh and mean towards Team Past and I was riding the high of the Grand Fest....

At the end of the day, what makes Splatoon's world so special is that it's world follows our time, a year passes in our world, a year passes over there. Stopping the timeline would be a bad idea and I think the developers know better. I have faith in them.

I dont think we're gonna get a great turf war game because Splatoon 4 was most likely already in pre-production before the Grand Fest, and they are just choosing what aesthetic to wrap the game in. They probably have a bunch of storylines planned out too and now they can get to work on the next game. That's just how game development works, especially Nintendo ones where gameplay is first and story is second.

The results of the final Splatfest of each game do make an impact but not THAT big of an impact. Callie vs. Marie decided who was gonna play the villain role in the next hero mode as they already placed down the set up for that story line in the songs Tide Goes Out and Bomb Rush Blush, as well as the Splatfest dialogue creating tension between the two.

Marie won so the developers gave Callie some angst, and she strolled down to Octo Canyon, said to good ol' Octavio "Hey I wanna be evil and stuff." And Octavio was like, "aight sick yo. But you gotta wear these hypnotic shades first tho." And Callie was like "COOL! :D"

Chaos vs. Order impacted what the next game was gonna look like aesthetic wise, and even then it's not as extreme as a lot of people envisioned. Splatsville is Inkopolis but basically... a little bit more chaotic and clearly not as wealthy of a city as Inkopolis. Deep Cut's aesthetics and personality were based on the theme of chaos, we would have probably gotten a three person Idol group regardless but what team won in Splatoon 2 impacted what they were gonna look like. The rest of Splatoon 3 is just regular ol' Splatoon. It's not a crazy Mad Max chaotic land like what some were expecting and that Inkopolis was gonna be up in smoke.

And, of course, the losing team was yet again the central theme of the villain, this time, the idea of Order itself and even then its different from how Callie vs. Marie played out. Marina becomes Marina Agitando at the start of the story to get it out of the way and to subvert expectations. And then the real villain, Overlorder takes centre stage.

I dont think we're gonna see the whole "losing team becomes evil" thing because its a tired old trope and it created so much just.... bullshit in the community, I'm gonna be so real. Like you know this already and my stances on Hypno Callie and what people say about her but... I digress!!

I wanna end off my rambles by saying that the best part of Team Past winning, is that Callie and Marie got to win TOGETHER! It feels like the perfect cap to their arcs and it feels... good.... you know? It just, makes me happy that these two girls are just finally happy and are on each other's wavelengths so well. They even show that in Blushing Tide but ive already gushed about that song.

I feel like thematically Team Past/Squid Sisters winning feels.... perfect? It feels... right? I guess? Starting off in darkness and hate, fighting each other, coming together after being reminded of the good times they've had, healing their broken bond, finally winning... as a team...

I think im taking the loss pretty well LMAO! I mean I was on the winning team of Chaos vs. Order so I'm perfectly fine with coming in second place.

[fellthemarvelous]

The Jedi struggle

What was Barriss' ultimate goal?

I mean, yeah, exposing the hypocrisy of the Jedi Order was what she wanted to do, but it seemed like she was going to allow Ahsoka to take the fall for a crime she didn't commit. She only confessed because Anakin nearly killed her after finding out she framed Ahsoka for bombing the Jedi Temple.

If Anakin had not caught her, then what?

Was she just going to carry that secret with her until the day she died? Was she going to suddenly have proof that Ahsoka had been framed and the Jedi had gotten it wrong? Ahsoka was supposed to be her best friend and she chose to throw Ahsoka under the bus just to prove a point to the galaxy.

Did she think she was doing the right thing or did she know that what she was doing was evil?

Because regardless of what you think of the Jedi Order, the way she chose to go about proving her point was monstrous. She might have been right, but it almost cost Ahsoka her life, not to mention the number of Jedi, clones and temple workers killed in the bombing.

The Jedi were not monsters though. Clearly there were Jedi who did bad things (Dooku, Krell, Barriss, Anakin...) but that doesn't mean the entire order was evil. It means that there were some who were not strong enough to resist the lure of the dark side. The Jedi had lost their way, but it doesn't mean they didn't deserve the opportunity to find their way back to the light. Barriss even ultimately redeems herself.

And while Barriss isn't the least bit responsible for Order 66, her actions made Palpatine's job easier in the end.

Which brings me to the Clone Wars.

The war itself was chaotic for the Jedi. They had expressed repeatedly that they were peacekeepers and not soldiers. They did not want to go to war, but Palpatine made sure they didn't have a choice.

Of course they were going to mess up.

They were trying to protect an entire galaxy, but there were only 10,000 Jedi Knights protecting one hundred quadrillion sentient lifeforms (I pulled that number from Wookieepedia) in a galaxy with millions of star systems. They had the help of roughly three million clone troopers (fighting against roughly one quadrillion battle droids), an army that was created for them without their knowledge by Darth Tyranus (Count Dooku), a fact they didn't find out until it was too late. They found out after they had spent years fighting alongside the clones. They trusted and cared for the clones, and the clones never let them down.

And the one time the clones did let them down was when the clones lost their free will and were forced to execute their Jedi leaders.

The Jedi were doing the best they could considering there were nowhere near enough of them to adequately protect an entire galaxy during a time of war. At one point, Obi-Wan even expressed frustration over the fact that not enough planets were standing up for themselves, which was why the Jedi were spread so thin. The droid army was massive and able to swarm entire planets with ease. The Jedi had no time to rest and the Clone Army was nowhere near large enough.

They were keepers of the peace turned into soldiers for the very purpose of turning the galaxy against the Jedi. That was Palpatine's whole angle. Their compassion was exploited and used against them.

Did they lose their way? Yes. To an extent.

Were they evil? No. They were doing what they thought was right.

The Jedi are not flawless and the Force does not make the Jedi omnipotent. They made mistakes.

All of that is to say...

I will never understand how people can say that the Jedi were evil when it's explicitly clear that Palpatine used anti-Jedi propaganda to justify the genocide of the entire Jedi Order by painting them as evil.

Which resulted in this...

[nekropsii]

do you still do session analysis?

I've never really done that, so no.

I appreciate the value placed in my opinion, truly, but I guarantee you it will be way more fun and satisfying to write things like that on your own than it is to get some stranger to do it for you. I don't feel good depriving someone the joy and learning experience of figuring out Character + Classpect Dynamics on your own. It's hard, for sure, but it's completely worth it. I'll give my thoughts on Individual Classes, Aspects, and Classpects now and then, if the mood strikes me, but the way that will affect a Group Dynamic is far more dependent on the individual characters involved and the narrative they're in than a lot of people seem to give credit for. Yes, the Classpect of a character says a lot about them, but it doesn't really express their Moral Alignment, the full breadth of their Personality, any specific Traumas or Neuroses that may afflict them and affect their relationship with their life, surroundings, and the people around them, et cetera, et cetera...

Basically, a Classpect says a lot, and a Group of Classpects can also say a lot, but I find it personally difficult to make very solid statements on the Viability of a Session or the Dynamics within it without having a deep understanding of not only the characters involved but also what kind of story is being aimed for. What a Classpect can mean or entail depends a lot on the Hero in question, and the specific Meta of the Session. You can keep the Meaning of all Classes and Aspects nigh completely Canon Compliant, but still have them imply and result in totally different things within a Session, purely because the Story and Character demands something that isn't, like... Just a straight up repeat of things already tread upon in source material. You could have a Seer of Light that's evil. You could have Bard of Rage that's a pretty good guy, all things considered.

For example, Sovereignstuck has a very particular Meta with its Classpects, and it's going for a very particular narrative. The characters in it are also very much so their own beasts - though their Classpects may say a lot about them, it doesn't really tell you anything about their morality, or how willing they are to hurt people or even just ascend to godhood in the first place, which is a really big deal in what is essentially a literal Deus Ex Machina Death Game Horror/Drama RPG setting especially. To use a particular example from Sovereignstuck - Bards of Mind tend to be billed as chaotic forces and, due to being a Bard, inherently bad people, with some even suggesting the best way to write a Bard of Mind is to write a straight up Bigot. We've got a Bard of Mind in the Player Session, Emeric Sargas, and while she is a complicated person - as is the truth for everyone ever - she is, generally speaking, a very child-like ball of sunshine that basically no one has beef with because she's just very sweet. Odd, yes, definitely, she does have a litany of very strange beliefs about how the world works, but overall a nice person. We have two Maids of Space, even, and they're extremely, extremely different people.

It's not as simple as saying "Princes of Void and Witches of Heart are guaranteed to not get along!", or "This Session will fail because it has an insufficient Player count!". Hell, it's difficult for me to even say a Session is doomed to fail if they have no Time and/or Space Players. Maybe the Meta of your Session simply doesn't abide by typical SBURB rules. I know my Fanventure sure doesn't, it's running on a fucking spinoff game with no Universe Building aspects to it - it's just a God-Making Machine. Maybe you don't need a Time or Space Player. Maybe you don't need a Knight, or an Heir. Maybe you can have five Pages. I literally don't know. Write whatever you want. Get creative. You truly do not have to abide by the rules set by SBURB if you don't want to write a Creation Myth. My only recommendation is that if you're breaking the mold, make that clear - explain what the purpose of your game is. Hell, explain the purpose even if it's just SBURB 2. The Characters are gonna have to learn what it is, even if the reader is aware of it already.

I could talk more, but this is already a long enough response to a pretty simple one sentence yes or no question.

TL;DR: No, I don't, sorry.

[ghostedgrim]

Too Blunt?

Masterlist Request Page

Synopsis: After getting Dauntless on her aptitude test, a girl happily takes the opportunity to escape her suffocating life as the "perfect" daughter of a Candor lawyer and leader. (Snarky ex rich Candor girl x Four)

Warnings: Implied abuse, death, father speaks hurtful words to his daughter on visiting day.

Today is the most important day of my life, and to no one's suprise my parents demand I look my utter best, and of course, wear a dress. Personally, I think a dress is probably the worst thing to wear for what I have planned, but I guess I'll make do.

I grab a long bodycon dress. It's black, the fabric thin and breathable with a square neckline and a hem that reaches my mid shin, along with a slit trailing up to my mid thigh. Black because my parents will likely view me as dead after today, I'll be dead to them for my betrayal. Also I don't want anyone at my new faction to see my sweat. I pair my dress with black square-toe flats, then for the final touch pulled on a short white jacket with black accents.

I can not wait to leave.

Yes, the luxury of rich parents is nice, we have a penthouse, nice view, parties, but trust me, this grass is only spray painted green. My mother is a part of the Candor Council and my father a lawyer. They know how people work and what makes them tick. They know how to tell a truth with multiple meanings.

If asked what faction they hope I join, they reply, "I believe and hope she will choose the proper faction for her." Everyone thinks they're supportive of any future I take, but they're not. To them Candor is the perfect faction for me because Candor is perfection, Erudite is proper and still a good option because they work with math and science which goes perfectly hand in hand with truth, Amity and Abnegation are strange but a peaceful option, Dauntless... well, they hate Dauntless. To them, Dauntless are chaotic ruffians with hardly no law or education. This is somewhat true because many choose to ignore and even skip classes while young.

After breakfast, I meet my parents beside their car, it's sleek and white with a black trim. We exchange brief conversation, mom and dad prattle on about how Candor and Erudite are such perfect factions for me and how they believe I'll make the proper choice for myself and them. And I'm all too happy to leave the car once we arrive at The Hub. The tallest building in the city, and I'm quite thankful we arrived early because that means the elevators aren't as full. Unfortunately, that means I must also converse a bunch before the ceremony.

"Mother, I feel stressed about today, may I sit down instead of talking to everyone," I ask calmy.

"No, now go speak with Ms. Matthew and the other Erudites. If you're planning to transfer out of Candor, It's best you make a good relationship before joining them," my mother orders, her eyes feel like steel coiling around my throat, preventing me from giving any form of retort.

It feels like days have past, but really it was only an hour before Johanna makes her speech and began the ceremony. Johanna is the leader of Amity. With every name she calls, my heart seems to beat faster and faster as she gets closer to my name.

"... Verity." I stand and walk to the center stage. Each movement is controlled, perfect, exactly the way my parents want it to be. Candor is the perfect option, Erudite is the proper choice... I'm tired of it.

Just because you can only speak truth doesn't mean you can't manipulate. That's the issue with my faction, everyone here thinks their perfect and even pure simply because they don't lie. They're convinced that by eliminating lies they have eliminated evil.

But truth does not eliminate evil, a pacifist cannot do anything to stop evil when it steps on their door, being smart simply works as a gun for good and evil to wield. Brains, truth, pacifism, none of that eradicates evil, nor does it stop it from forming...

I cut my palm letting my blood sizzle onto the hot coals below.

But a good punch can certainly make it fuck off for a bit.

Thank God I wore this dress, otherwise I would've never been able to run and jump onto the train. The sound of the running train deafens the sound of people talking around me. It was so loud that I almost didn't hear the warning about us jumping off. I don't pay much attention to Dauntless. All my life, I've tried to avoid them and their chaos, but even I knew they don't wait for trains to stop before jumping.

"Where are we jumping!" I yell, but no one answered. I lean my head out the door and to my shock, "Are they trying to kill us!?"

I'm supposed to jump off a moving train onto a damn building! What the actual fuck?

"Scared princess?" I turn to see an Erudite boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, height wise, I can only reach his shoulder. He moves to stand behind me, "Need me to give you a push."

I promptly stomp my heel on the toe of his shoe and backed away from the door, "Hard pass prince charming." The boy glares at me before returning his attention to the door. When it comes time to jump, he turns around to flash me a smile. I smiled back, then ran forward as fast as I could and jumped off the train.

Time slowed, initiates seemed to float in the air beside me, all wearing colors of black, blue, and white, I made the mistake of looking down and my body filled with cold terror. What if I don't make it. The ledge is getting closer and closer, fuck. Did I jump too early?

SMACK!

I slip on the gravel as I land, I slide down hard onto the right side of my body, no doubt covering my right forearm and lower legs in scratches, my teeth smack together as my jaw rams into the ground. "Fuck..."

"Agreed," someone groans out beside me, and I turn to see the Erudite boy from earlier sprawled out on his back. Two screams burst out behind us, and I jump up and turn to see several people crowd around the ledge. "Don't look."

"Don't tell me what to do," I snapped at the boy and watched as an Amity boy was hauled onto the roof. I peer over the ledge, someone's hand grabs my wrist and hauls me back. Unfortunately, it was not fast enough to see the dead person who failed to make it onto the roof. I press my hands to my face, trying to calm my breathing. Someone hugs me from the side, their hand rubbing my shoulder.

"Alright listen up!" I pull away from the person, only giving a quick enough glance to see they're a Dauntless born. I then look to the person speaking. "I'm Eric, I am one of your leaders. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in. He stands atop the roof ledge. He wears all black, vest, shirt, pants, two peircings above his left brow and one per ear, his hair cropped at the sides and slicked back. "And if you don't have the guts to jump... then you don't belong in Dauntless. Someone's gotta be first. Who's it gonna be." The man jumps down from the ledge, watching us with a critical eye.

"So what, we jump on a moving train, jump off a moving train onto a rooftop, and now you want us to jump off the roof?" I scoff, and cross my arms.

Eric smirks, "thanks for volunteering." He swings his arm out, inviting me forward and as much as I want to back down Eric's body language, especially his eyes, warn me that backing down like a coward is definitely not the safest of my options. So I mutter a curse under my breath and walk forward.

With shaking hands I climb onto the ledge. If there's one thing I know, the longer you wait the more the anxiety builds. So with my back to the small crowd, I cast them a glace over my shoulder before looking down at the gaping hole before me and jumped.

A scream tore through my lips as I plummeted. For a moment I thought I might die, that Eric would use me as an example of what not to do as a Dauntless initiate. I would be remembered as the dumb initiate that jumped because she was told too.

I pass through the lip of the hole and to my supries saw dim lights. I had barely any time to think on it before I slammed into a net and bounced several times. And once the bouncing stopped, I lay there, trying to gather my senses. My ears pick up joyus whoops and hollers, then hands appear. They wrap around my arms and drag me from the net. I find myself standing before a tall man, brown hair, brown eyes, a shadow of hair across his jaw, and defined facial features.

"You alright," his voice is deep, with a hint of a rumble, "Did you get pushed."

I scoffed, "No, I jumped. Somewhat unwillingly. Tell the Eric guy he's a dickbag for me."

"Straight to the point I see, then again you're from Candor. If I were you, I'd be more careful about the way you speak about your superiors," he warns, then lets go of my arm. "You got a name?"

"Obviously, I have a name, it's ... Verity." The man nods, announcing my name and that I'm the first jumper before telling me to stand by the wall. A few moments later the Erudite boy falls.

"Damien! Second jumper!" The man announces. More cheers and Damien jobs over to me with a blinding smile.

"Only fair the prince follows the princess so she isn't alone," Damien teases.

"So what prince are you? Brother, or wannabe lover?" I deadpan.

Damien clicks his tongue, "I'm gay so obviously, brotherly."

"If you ever try or even joke about pushing me off a moving train, I will kill you."

"That's fair," Damien shrugs.

We remain standing side-by-side as the remainder of initiates jump. About 23 total, 11 transfer, and 12 Dauntless born. The twelve Daniel born are taken away by a woman instructor whom I've already forgotten the name of, while the brown hair guy calls the rest of us over to him.

"My name is Four," he announces, and I stifle a chuckle that makes Damien roll his eyes, "Mind telling me what's so funny?"

"Of all the names a man could choose, and you name yourself Four. Are there people named One, Two, and Three running around that you call siblings?" I grin, and Damien mutters something under his breath.

Four stalks forward, the initiates around me back away giving him space, bringing his face close to mine he speaks, "If you plan to survive here, then keep your mouth shut. Don't make me warn you again." Four's voice came out like a deep rumble, and I couldn't tell if I was scared or really attracted to it.

When Four walks away, Damien elbows me in the side, "Ow."

"Do you have a death wish?" He half-whispers.

I shrug and turn my attention to Four as he gives us a tour of Dauntless, pointing out the chasm, hub, cafeteria, and the dorms. I grimace at the sight of the hideous concrete room, metal cots, communal bathroom, at least the showers and bathrooms had a private stall for each one. If I'm lucky, I can snag a stall to change in during morning and night.

Four notices my obvious look of disgus. "Too much for you, princess? I thought you enjoyed luxurious suites like this room?" He mocks, and I resist the urge to punch his gut.

"It's quite lovely actually," I bite back, "in fact, it quite matches your sparkling personality."

Four goes to retort but is interrupted by a boy Candor transfer, "When do you get our uniforms?"

"You don't," Four replies, "depending on your rank, and skill shown throughout training you will earn points that you can exchange for clothes, body modifications, makeup, and whatever the hell else you want to spend it on. Now go pick a bunk and come to the cafeteria for dinner," Four orders.

Watching Four go over various kicks, punches, blocks, and forms is starting to make me wish I went against my parents demands and wore pants. Earlier this morning Eric had informed us the lowest five preforming inmates get kicked. I had almost spoke up against that rule, but thought better of it knowing Eric was a leader, he could probably kick me out for just looking at him wrong. It's a stupid rule, especially because as far as I'm aware Dauntless doesn't have any overpopulation issues.

Four finally dismisses us to the punching bags, and my legs protest every step. He and Eric took us on a quarter mile run. I barely survived. Next week it'll be half a mile. I definitely won't survive that.

Once at my bag I move into a fighting stance, feet spread, from foot pointed at the bag, back foot planted on the ground perpendicular to the front foot. My hits are weak, my form certainly not the best. Right now I want nothing more than a hot shower and my b-

"With a form like that you won't survive the matches starting tomorrow," a low voice speaks behind me. I turn to see Four, his gaze critiquing my posture, his arms crossed.

"What's it to you?" I snap.

Four rolls his shoulders then reaches out to shrink my too-wide stance, bring my fist closer to my jaw. "There. Unless you want to get hit, keep your fists up so you can block your sides and head with your forearms. Also don't make your stance so wide, not only do you look stupid, it makes moving and kicking alot harder." Four pulls away and moves to stand beside me, "As for why I care. I'm your instructor, it's my job to prevent as much of you from failing as possible. Now hit the bag is if it's someone you hate."

"So pretend I'm hitting you. Got it," I quip. Four only offers a few critiques and tips before walking away. I try to focus, but honestly my mind seems more focused on what Four's hands on my hips and the feeling of him standing so close behind me that I could feel his breath practically caress my neck.

"Careful," and my knees nearly go weak from the way the word rolled off his tongue like a soft rumble.

Over the course of the month, I grew stronger, my stamina longer, my muscles more prominent too. While I was certainly not the most skilled at fighting, the wit of my tonge remained strong. I used the points I earned to buy myself more comfortable clothes; boots, pants, shirts, I even gave myself the tattoo of the Candor symbol, encased in flames. I was even contemplating getting peircings, but I couldn't tell if I wanted them out of a wish to rebel against the way I was raised or because I actually wanted one.

Tonight was the night before visiting day. Last week had marked the end of our first part of initiation, and I dread thinking of what will happen next week.

Damien was standing in front of his bunk, ranting about how he's excited to see his sister. I watch him from my perch in his bunk. Over the past month, he'd gone from scrawny to quite musclar. It was almost scary to think about the sheer change. Snakebite peircings and blonde hair now green, Damien was certainly embracing the punk side of Dauntless.

We've both grown quite a bit since the Choosing Ceremony, the same way my crush on Four has only worsened.

Training, walking around Dauntless, cafeteria, I often try to find Four somewhere in the crowd. Most times, he's already staring at me. I shiver.

"You alright."

I break from my thoughts to see Damien squatting down in front of me. "I'm fine," I have to force the lie out. I've gotten better at lying, but it's nearly impossible to do it to the people I'm close to.

Damien shakes his head, and moves to sit on his cot beside me. "You're an awful liar."

"Yeah! I'm well aware!" A few other initiates turn to us at my outburst. Perhaps my feelings for Four weren't my only concern. "What if my parents actually come tomorrow? I hate them, but I'm so scared to see that inevitable look of disappointment." I slump against Damien's should, and he wraps an arm around me.

"Faction before blood. Dauntless is your faction, Dauntless is your family, you are my sister, and I am proud of you. Your parents are merely the people that made you and raised you. Unfortunately, they chose to turn you into a miniature of them and force away the true you. Whatever happens, your true family is here, and I will punch your parents for you if you need."

"Thanks..." I reply, and Damien rests his chin on my head.

Silence settles around us, a comfortable one that helps me relax a bit. "I asked Aaron out," Damien suddenly blurts out.

I pull away, turning to face him, "Ex Candor Aaron!" But Damien shakes his head, his grin bright.

"Nope! The Dauntless born Aaron. Black hair, chiseled face."

My mouth drops open in suprise, "I thought he was homophonic?"

Damien's grin turns almost feral, "Was. But then he lost a bet, we kissed, he liked it," Damien's hands move dramatically to emphasize each word, "he wanted to experiment, and let's just say I preformed real good."

"Gross. There's no way you're telling the truth."

"I am," Damien lounges back against his pillow.

"In that case, I guess I'll need to get some tips from you about winning over my crush sometime."

Damien sits up faster than I can blink, "who is it?"

"Not telling," I sing, and Damien pouts. "See ya tomorrow." I wave and walk over to my cot.

A permanent frown is etched into my face as I watch families mingle down in the pit. I already spotted my parents looking for me earlier, but I made no move to join them.

Someone walks up beside me but I say nothing.

"Wow. No snarky comment, sneer, or anything. Are you okay?" I'm surprised to hear Four sounds actually sincere.

"I'm fine-"

"No, you're not. You can talk to me about it," Four offers.

"As if you know anything about shitty parents," I sneer.

Four's gaze darkend, locking his jaw and I realize I hit a nerve, fuck. "Trust me, I do know." Four then quickly walks off.

Eventually, Damien hunts me down and drags me from my beloved hiding spot to meet his sister, but we get intercepted.

"I see you've enjoyed it here," I tense and turn to face my father, who is flanked by my mother. "Your friend is... interesting."

I cross my arms and glare at them. "I'm surprised you came."

"Yes, well," my mother starts, "while you may have joined a faction far beneath us, I must admit I was curious to see just how much you let yourself go. And it seems you've lost all sense of acting a proper lady." All sense of confidence seeps from my body as my mother scolds my appearance with her eyes.

Damien finally speaks up, "How dare you speak to her that way!"

My mother shrugs, "I'm simply speaking the truth. Tell your boyfriend to cool it."

"I have a boyfriend," Damien growls.

A look of utter disgust appears on my father's face, and before I can speak, he drags me away. I tried to grab onto Damien, but we'd already lost him in the crowd.

"Had I known you've fallen so far, I would've ordered someone to make you Factionless," my father snarls.

"What's so wrong about -"

"Do not interrupt me," just by an order from my father, I go stiff and silent. Just how I was before leaving Candor. Docile, pretty, soft.

"First, you betray us by joining Dauntless off all factions. I might've forgiven you if it was Amity of Abnegation, but you join Dauntless. Now you've cut your hair all short," I touch my hair, I had forgotten I cut it after too many initiates kept pulling it during sparring matches. "Look at your clothes, they're hideous, and with that cropped tank top, you look like a sl-"

"That's enough," someone growls beside me. My gaze snaps to Four as he pulls me closer to him. "Get out before I remove you both by force." My father goes to argue, but Four punches him in the face before he can finish.

I remain silent and unwilling to fight back as Four guides me through the halls, and he doesn't stop until he's confident we're alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Four asks while leaning against the rock wall. The dim blue light around us highlights his features.

"I don't know," my voice it quiet.

Four stares at me, as if taking in my every detail, every move, and emotion, like I'm a book. "Why did you join Dauntless?"

My heart sinks. He probably thinks I'm unworthy or something. "To escape my parents."

Four merely cocks his head, "If your sole goal was to escape you would've ran to Amity. Why did you come here?"

"Why do you care?" I snap.

Four sits on the ground and pats the space beside him. Despite myself, I sit.

"You don't have to talk about it. But understand I get it. Having a parent raising you to be impossibly perfect, who cares about their public image. That hate for yourself because you don't feel good enough even after you leave, still being afraid of them after you escape. Trust me, I get it. And if you bottle it, it will just consume you."

A gasp almost escapes me, he's Marcus's son. "Why are you telling me this?"

"When we met, I thought you were going to be some bratty rich girl, you wouldn't last. You're still a bit of a brat," he chuckles, "but you're also a fighter. Strong, unwilling to bend or break, and the fucking way you smile. I must admit I'm jealous, but more than that I confess I want nothing more than to kiss you."

"You like me?"

"Alot more than I'm willing to admit."

"I came to Dauntless because I'm tired of feeling weak and unable to fight back." Four looks at me intently. "All my life it was dresses, being told how to act, stand, sit, talk. I felt like a doll, and if I made one error I would get yelled at and locked in my room for a week at the least. It was suffocating and I always felt so utterly powerless. Here at Dauntless I'm strong, I'm free, I can actually fight." I look down at my hands, and Four rests one of his atop mine, and I squeeze it.

"You said you wanted to kiss me."

"Badly," he added.

"Then kiss me."

One minute Four is looking at me like I grew two heads, and the next his lips are upon mine. My hands find purchase on his shoulders, both his hands cup my face. He kisses me like he's starved. His lips are soft, and warm and I practically melt into the kiss.

We pull away for a moment, then slowly we kiss again. "Please be mine," Four mumbles against my lips.

"I am yours," I mutter back as we kiss again. Eventually, we settle, simply sitting in the empty hall, me in Four's arms, his head on my chin.

"I knew it!"

"Fuck!" My head slams against Four's jaw as I jolt making Four groan in pain.

"Man I fucking knew it! Maria owes me $20," Damien cackles, so I chuck my shoe at him and grace him my middle finger.

Author's note: I'm sorry it took so long, my dad was in the hospital for colon cancer, and his girlfriend got offended that my mom knew of the situation which was a hole issue. Fortunately things have calmed down, my dad's surgery was successful, and he's doing chemo to ensure it doesn't come back.

I hope you enjoyed the fic. Please share feedback, I happily accept constructive criticism.

[eri-pl]

Melian saw the darkness in Thingol's eyes and married him anyway

Long, chaotic stream of thought below cut (no, nobody owes anybody a relationship)

I'm not saying Idril should have married Maeglin, or whatever. I'm perfectly fine with "Idril didn't want to date Maeglin because she was not into it, and/or he was her cousin and whatever". She had every right not to. Same as everyone.

I'm just saying "saw the darkness in his eyes" is a very weird way of phrasing it. Especially when we look at the three cases of "darkness in eyes" (all essentially fatal):

Melkor (seen by Varda, in the context of romantic rejection)

Feanor (seen by Galadriel in the context of I have no idea) (also I'm sure Nerdanel wasn't blind either. But, as I said, "darkness in eyes" is not a good reason to not get in a relationship, not by itself. "I can't handle this darkness" is a good reason. Nerdanel could handle a lot)

Maeglin (seen by Idril, in the context of romantic rejection)

What do those three have in common?

One of the interpretations (not the one where Thingol easily fits however) is "they're great, best they can, but still not good enough":

Melkor is the most Vala, but he was also the first Vala and he "grew up" being the only finite being he new. and he hated it, he despised himself for being less (it is clear to me from the description of his obsessio with the Flame etc)

Feanor was the most Elf to even elf, but also Finwe wanted more kids, so obviously Feanor got the message that he wasn't enough.

Maeglin was brilliant, and an only child, but also his father was the super-stern, avoidant-attachment tangle of cold trauma that was Eol. I'm sure he got a consistent message of "you aren't enough".

So, there's this inherent not-enoughness. (How is this a reason to not date someone??? I mean, sure, it results in behaviors and problems, but really, really, we could phrase those rejections differently.)

(Or maybe it was "she saw he's going to be evil" but I hate this concept, it rubs wrong with free will to me)

Am I bashing Tolkien? Not really. You know, what vibe I get from those darknesses? CSL's relationship to Susan. You know, "the character he obviously hated". The character he based most on himself.

"Saw the darkness in his eyes" (and hated him for it) really feels like the author looking at himself. So of course I'm not going to bash him, he bashed himself too much already.

So what was that part about Thingol? Just a click-bait?

Melian was an Ainu. Thingol was an Incarnate,. In a world where the very existence of incarnates is a result of the discord, a result (or at least everyone believes so) of evil. of course he would have tons of darkness in his eyes! His very existence is something that shouldn't be if everything went well!

(BTW Feanor "killed" his mother and Maeglin was a child of a marriage that was terrible and not even a valid marriage tbh. they both have very much of the "their existence is the result of some evil" syndrome)

And I'm not saying Melian owed Thingol to marry him. No, she did not. But she saw the opportunity and she chose to and that's passing awesome.

(And then the same motif with Luthien and Beren who was a Men and as we all know, Men are problematic, even compared to Elves.)

And I know this started from Tolkien's wife, but still, the fact that it's always this gender setup... It's interesting in many ways.

I'm not even saying that Idril owed Maeglin (or any other sombination of those) a friendship, or a therapy. No. She set her bounduaries and it was a good thing to do, you need to know your limits and needs and all that.

But when someone can afford it, can afford to look at the darkness, and go forward anyway... it's passing awesome.

Also, going back from metaphysics into attachment styles and relationships and marrying a sad person... One day the darkness will be too much to handle. Not for B&L who lived a short life, but Thingol often ignored Melian, and Feanor and Nerdanel even separated.

But it is normal. And it doesn't make the relationship wrong.

You can handle only a finite amount of someone else's emotions (if you choose to handle them at all, which, again, you are not obliged to) and the point of it is for them to grow and learn to not need your help anymore. It is difficult and doesn't always work and it is normal. It is human.

My point is than it is better to support someone for as long as you are able to without herming yourself and then let them handle it on their own, than to not support someone at all. But again, sometimes "as much as you can afford" is zero, and it is ok. It is ok to not interact with difficult people.

Just please, don't say "I saw a darkness in his eyes". Say "I cannot handle this" or "I have other emotional commitments", or "I need my strength elsewhere" or "I need time and peace to heal" or something like that. It is about your rights, not their wrongs.

You don't owe anyone a relationship, friendship, or anything. But nobody is inherently undeserving of relationship or friendship, or fully incapable of it (some people need more help than others though).

ps: "passing" is a term I borrowed from "le Morte d'Arthur" and it means something like "exceeding expectations". I like it.

And, leaving the theme of romance, I could probably write another long post about how the opposite of "darkness in his eyes" is the light of the Trees in eyes of the Elves (except: Feanor had both) and why I'm not as big a fan of the trees as everyone in the canon (they were a good thing, but not as absolute as everyone paints it) and what Valinor was and what it was not and how the very existence of Valinor is the essence of "you have darkness in your eyes, you can't play with us" attitude but also my expectations are way too high and it's easy to complain in hindsight

Maybe one day I will post something more coherent about it.

Just... let's end this on saying that seeing the darkness, and calling your beloved beautiful and getting married anyway—

[angelsanarchy]

Tangerine Skies: Possum x Y/N Series CH 9 -> END

Tagging: @svgarcaine @icarus-star @romanroyapoligist @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @liquidsmoothdomme @auggiethecreator @ethical-cain-vinnel @blacksoul-27 @tempt-ress

Possum had finally taken his tent down and packed up his travel stuff. Y/n told him there was no point in him having it still set up out there when he was spending every night in the RV with her. They fell into a comfortable day to day of waking up, fucking eachothers brains out, having meals, fucking eachothers brains out some more, smoking some weed before falling back into bed for a little more fucking.

"I think this is the most exercise I've ever gotten. My 7th grade gym teacher would be amazed." Possum said as he took a drag from the blunt, opening the window for the smoke to roll out of it.

"I didn't even attend gym class. I hated sweating at school." Y/n took the blunt from his hands and pulled on it. Possum looked at her and smiled.

"You barely sweat when we fuck...wait...am I not doing it right?" Possum asked making Y/n laugh out loud.

"No no you're doing everything right..perfect even. Best sex I've ever had." Possum's face lit up.

"Yeah?" He asked as he turned his body towards her wanting to go for another round.

"Yes, I wouldn't lie to you." She let him cop a feel before holding the blunt out of the way so he didn't light them both on fire.

"I like that about you. Everyone stays so caught up in trying to fool one another. No one lives in their truth anymore." Possum sat up and started to pull on his sweatpants without underwear, like he had every morning.

"You want to know what I like about you?" Y/n teased with a smirk.

"If you say my huge cock, I will only be slightly disappointed." Possum said from the bathroom. She could hear him peeing and laughed.

"That's top 3 but I like how different you are. You are truly the most uniquely free person I've ever met." Possum turned the water on and washed his hands before returning to the bed.

"Most people just think I'm weird...or high...mostly high but a lot of the time just plain weird. Do you think I'm weird?" Possum asked tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"I think when you say weird you mean it in a bad way. When I think of you as weird I think of it as fun and exciting. You aren't boring and you're smart as hell. I could honestly just listen to you talk about governmental evil doing and extraterrestrial theories for hours." Possum smiled at her.

Y/n let Possum drive her car to the grocery store. They drove past the diner and the window she had blown out was covered with ply wood and the manager with yelling at someone on the phone out in the parking lot. The made a quick stop at the convenience store that Possum frequented and the manager looked thrilled to see him.

"I thought you died! We haven't seen you in so long! How you eat?" He asked Possum turned and pointed to Y/n who waved.

"She feeds me many times a day." Y/n hit him in the side and he rolled his eyes at her.

"We miss you. We're sorry we banned you for being stinky. We're glad you aren't stinky anymore." The manager said.

"Trust me, that makes two of us." Y/n ribbed.

"I just wanted to stop by and let you know I was taking off and probably wouldn't be back. I wanted to thank you for putting up with me for all this time." Possum held out his hand to shake and she could see he had at least $300 in his gloved hand. The manager's eyes lit up and he hugged Possum. Y/n thought it was the sweetest exchange between two acquainted strangers. She watched Possum carefully the rest of the day. How he treated strangers, how polite and present he was with people no matter how they looked at him.

Possum was such a genuinely sweet person in such a chaotic world. The two of them sat by the fire, eating dinner, playing with his little brother and talking about random places that they've both traveled to.

"You really ready to take off soon?" Y/n asked making Possum look up.

"Well I'm certainly done in this town. I think it's time I head back East. I know my mom is worried about me...I miss her." Possum explained. She nodded at his response. She had no doubts about him being a momma's boy.

"What about you? Ever been to the East coast?" Possum asked curiously.

"I've been to a few places on the East coast but never really stayed long enough to enjoy it." Y/n watched Possum's face drop.

"Oh you should come and see me when I get to my mom's! She would love you! Plus she can cook way better eggs than me." Possum said with excitement.

"You want me to meet your mom?" Y/n asked surprised.

"Of course! Two of my favorite women should know eachother." Possum said like it was so casual. Y/n didn't know she was consider in such high regard in Possum's book.

"I mean you'll have to wait like two months. I think it's going to take me a bit longer to get back there with the train and bus tickets." Possum explained.

"Or I could just take you...there's nothing keeping me here now that I quit my job. I hadn't really picked my next destination so-"

"Wait...you want me to like...live in the RV with you? Me and little one?" He held up his little brother and she laughed.

"Why not? We're living together in here now anyway. I like having you with me and I love hearing little ones little snores." She reached out and ruffled behind his ears and Possum sat him down carefully in his bag.

"Y/n...are you being serious right now? You really want us to come with you?" Possum plopped down next to her and took her hands into his own.

"Why does that surprise you so much?" She laughed and he licked his lips.

"No one has ever wanted to be with me like that." Possum's confession made Y/n lean forward and kiss him. He sighed into the kiss and placed a hand on her throat.

"Have you ever been in love before?" Possum pulled out of the kiss and asked bluntly.

"Um...maybe? Why do you ask?" She chuckled.

"I'm just trying to put a name on this feeling I have and I just think that's what it is. I've never been in love before so I just thought-" Y/n cut him off with another kiss, deepening it this time and allowing her hands to get tangled in the back of his hair.

"Maybe you're just higher than usual?" She joked but he nodded.

"Oh I'm absolutely out of this world high but I'm also pretty in love with you." Possum smiled resuming the kiss and running his tongue along hers. She felt him put his hands on her tits and squeeze.

"Yeah definitely love." Possum mumbled letting Y/n push him onto his back right next to the camp fire. They fucked like animals in the dirt and made sure to mark the coordinates of where they met for an eventual trip back. This would be their spot. It would be where they fell in love while getting high and watching the tangerine skies turn into tomorrows.

~END

[foundfam2754]

S17e7 live reactions!

spoilers...obviously

am i the only one who's always nervous before a new episode? i just might too invested in this show after all

i have avoided spoilers all day, let's do this thing

why hasn't this FBI director ever come back into the storyline? i feel like it means a big twist might come back in the season finale...

is this unsub connected to gold star???

oh my god his skin jfc

man you know the quiet unsubs are the scariest

WHAT THE FUCK HIS SKULL

this guy is just saying what he needs to isn't he to get out

holy crap okay what a start to this episode

i'm closing my eyes omg

how do you even build something like that in your apartment - WITHOUT getting hurt

OMG WHAT. THE. FUCK. holy crap aisha did you direct this to scare the bejeesus out of me THAT IS HIS ACTUAL SKULL

OH I JUST SAW FELICITY'S NAME COME UP - welcome, dr. jill gideon!!

damn damn damn PG's outfits this ep!! damn

where are tara and dave? and tyler? and everyone else lol

wait also is my favorite friendship group - penelope, her best friends, and her boyfriend

HAHA emily, poor tyler

ok I kinda love tyler the profiler

"flex" lol why did that sound so wrong coming out of paget's mouth

"mr. sensitive" lol buddy's getting hit left and right

i feel like....that's not a lot of files for 4 years

anyone getting "don't 'Emily' me" vibes

not sure you can say that dave - emily "died", and you were buried underground

lol "that's adorable!"

"i don't have asthma" "you will in a minute" lmao i love their friendship

that's an incredible shot omg (of them turned back from each other, holding hands in bed)

okay as a psych major, this whitepaper stuff is really intellectually interesting

OH THE STARE TO MR GREEN

"of course I am, but not with this" lol i love chaotic emily

"Garcia" ah so he's not so in love anymore is he

aww i never really connected with gideon, but I do miss him <3

EMILY YOU WERE FORBIDDEN

aww road trip!

ergh... smarmy lawyer

elias does love a good contingency

man sicarius is a good profiler

holy crap elias you are straight up horrifyingly evil

"polite. nonviolent" lol i love how funny this season is

YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS YOU LOVE HIM HE LOVES YOU PENELOPE YOU ARE KILLING ME

also don't tell me "it's why you and i are finally friends" ISN'T flirting

"thanks, friend!" "you're welcome, friend!" okay they are straight up flirting, listen to the tone, her facial expression, his facial expression, THEY ARE FLIRTING

also calm down kids, jj's right there

"how's hotch?" "what about derek morgan?" "spencer?" lol they're really honing in that our bois are gone :(

AW BB JASON IN THE CORNER IN THE PHOTO FRAME

oh there's a difference between fiancé and fianceé? i didn't think there was

"has a goatee he thinks makes him look very distinguished" lmao

oh my god he slept with her didn't he

HOW WERE GIDEON AND HE FRIENDS AFTER THAT

lol rossi was such a player

HAHA omg EMILY YOU ARE SO BAD. i love how chaotic she's being

why do i have a feeling emma may be a figment of his imagination?

sir, she's bleeding

damn luke's so hot as he's profiling

WHAT? Okay I did not see that coming

BRO I KNEW IT EMMA'S A FIGMENT

luke and the megaphone!! i repeat, luke and the megaphone!!

lol i just realized this show is always sending luke and jj into very dangerous situations

wait this ep is so good man, the plot's amazing and heartbreaking at the same time, we got garvez nuggets, em's hilarious, and aisha's directing is goddamn incredible

NO WAY, THERE'S ANOTHER KIT?

elias is such a good villain, damn

lawyer man, maybe listen to the scary man? don't open it?

and as jill walks in, we continue the trend in this show of david rossi's ex-girlfriends showing up years later to shock him (oh god they’re gonna get married, aren’t they)

tara and luke be like "who's this lady?"

OKAY I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK LFG

[peaky-shelby]

NEW ROMANTICS X MBAPPÉ [13]

» summary: in which an arrogant and talented football player (the best of his time as some say) and a focused and harsh critic of a journalist are gonna have to find a way to co-exist.

» chapter 13: back to the start

» Writer's note: this chapter was especially hard to write Because we are so close to the finish line and i don't want to end 😭😭😭 hope you got tissues with you!! See you at the end!

» Taglist: @moonchildohh @formulahoe @princetongirlll818 @mavieesttriste16 @kiwisa @godessstela @hummusxx @kodzuvk @pink-manz @corbyns-smile @ippid @jayruiewo265738 @blueanfield @mrs-bellingham @sorceresski @sooblovebot  @okayymochi @army7g @j-rbps @heli991113  @markhyucksmells @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @i0veless @photmath @http-isabela @rainytelevisionfilmwagon

@formula101x @neymarloverxxx @cepolar @freespirit-51 @marialikescherries @superswaggycooch @lunasmindinwriting @shadysandwichghoul @contrastedfandom @alexxcorona113 @951am @jinsoulorbitzen12 @books-loverss @l0verl4ne @kypostsblog @bluberrycheezk @hottieluvr @calcaneous @444jodie @dudde-44 @neysgf @wallflowerjournal @p4rkyonce @toclic @kyliannnkkk  @mad-die45 @mentalbaddie @karotland @et-in-arcadia-ego77 @kymb-10

“You and Mason figuring things out again, ha?” he questioned, ones they reached the outdoor venue and hid behind a wall, so no one would see them. Taylor snorted at the comment, she could hear jealousy all over his tone, she could even feel him staring at her. She turned around to face him.

“Back to being an asshole again, ha?”

“You sure he won’t be looking for you right now?”

“What are you doing here?” she asked but the question sounded more stupid out loud then it did on her mind. Of course, he was here, he was supposed to be here with the French team. It would be weird if he wasn’t. She looked at his leg “I mean why are you not locked up in a hospital or something with that horrible leg.”

“Same reason you are not locked up in your bedroom after writing that horrible article.”

She laughed, an evil laugh. She bit her tongue annoyed, crossing her arms and looking away because that was a low blow and it seemed like they were back to their old ways. The times when they bit on each other like cats and dogs and scarred one another deep.

“I’m not doing this.” She said and walked past him. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn to him again, pulling her close to him. He had missed her skin, her perfume, her aura. He wished she’d go on calling him a piece of shit if that meant she’d stay for another minute with him and ignore Mason Mount. He moved his hand up her arm, making sure the contact gave away his dirty thoughts. Because he wanted her to know, he still thought about her under him or over him.

She looked at his hand, memories swarming in her mind like flies of all the times he’d done that in Paris. Kylian made a step forward, leaking his lips and looking up and down at her. She looked different. The fire in her eyes was gone, like she had no will to fight him at all.

“How did you do it?” she asked suddenly. His eyes lifted up to hers, he wasn’t sure what she meant. She pulled her arm away, replacing his touch with her own by putting her hand over where his used to be. “I can imagine but I want to know for sure. Why didn’t she release the article about us? It was ready! It would have been front page. The biggest headline. So why, did it never break out?”

“Why does it matter--”

“Because it does!” she snapped. “So, tell me, or this conversation is over.” He hesitated. Hid his hands in his pockets. She examined him, her suspicious getting confirmed while she looked at him. “How much did you give her and what else did you promise her because it couldn’t have been just money!” he didn’t respond. She went closer, slapped his arm “how fucking much, Kylian?” she asked louder, tried to hit him again but he snatched her hands—

“Arrêtés!” he yelled, his eyes staring right in hers and she tried to push him away but he pulled her closer instead, their chest bumping onto each other. She looked at his lips, it was an instinct. She craved him as much as she hated him. He angled himself so he’d have access to her lips if he wanted to, if he needed to. “I told you before you left that I’d stop it and that’s what I did. The how is not important.”

“My savior” she mumbled but there was so much irony in her voice, it made him distance himself, take a good look at her. He narrowed his eyes.

“That’s what you have to say?”

“I have a bomb over my head for the rest of my life, what do you want me to say? I Left because I was ready for it to explode and now, I have to look over my shoulder, listening to all these endless rumors—”

“You left because you wanted to ran away—”

“Yes, and you made sure I have to keep running by ‘protecting’ me—”

“Protecting you?” now he would be the one to get defensive, regretful of thinking even for a moment that he could show his true emotions for his ex coach “Don’t give yourself so much credit, I did it for me, as I do everything, hasn’t that been your complaint ever since you met me?” She didn’t answer. “I mean imagine, talented player, can’t hold himself together around an assistant. Pitiful, I’d say!” Something broke inside of her, something she didn’t know she had. He bit his tongue, tasting the poison before speaking he next words “At the end of the day it’s not my fault if you go on fucking footballers and the story comes back around—”

It was a hard slap. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t expect it or deserved it. When he looked up again, he could see her eyes, swollen, red and tears under them. He had been the cause of that, same way she had been the cause of his aching cheek and it seemed that all the two were capable of was hurting each other, even when they wanted to help.

Trish could hear her ringtone, she knew her phone was somewhere in the bathroom stall, definitely not in her dress pocket anymore. No, that space was filled by Jude’s hands instead while he was leaving his taste on her lips, kissing every corner of her mouth. She was tied on him, pinned against the glass walls that separated the stalls and breathing him in. How did they find themselves in these situations, she didn’t know but she liked it. She opened her eyes to search for the device but a moan left her lips immediately after as she felt Jude sucking on her neck, making her forget what she was looking for in the first place. The phone went silent for a moment, the ringtone echoed again and she tried to untangle herself from the tall beautiful man but he held her tighter, his lips finding hers again.

“let it ring.” He whispered in her mouth.

“You’re being needy.”

“Bite me,” he responded quickly.

Trish laughed “Metaphorically or Literally?”

Jude pulled away only so she could see the sneaky grin on his face “both.”

Trish couldn’t hide her smile as dived in his neck, left bites on his veins. Despite their need to stay locked with each other, the phone didn’t seem like it was going to give up. Trish groaned on his neck and jumped off, she ducked and found the phone under the toilet. As she got up, Jude put his arms around her, to keep her close while she answered the call but she pulled away just seconds later, and turned around to face him, a terrified expression in her eyes.

“Oh my god—” she whispered before hiding her mouth in shock.

“I’m sorry..” it was an honest apology. It came a few minutes later after he had spoken his brutal and offensive words. She had turned her back on him, he was looking at the floor, his hand over his aching cheekbone. She sniffed in her tears, wiping them with the back of her hand. Perhaps this is how it would always be between the two, hurting and healing each other simultaneously. She nodded, knowing that she must have said worst to him at some point, so did she really have any right to be mad at him? Well… even if she did, she had no strength to. His warmth came like a veil around her, as he walked closer and embraced her from behind, his head lost in her hair. He whispered the words that she’d never admit out loud: “Tu m'as manqué.” He kissed her neck, the way he used to in her small apartment, in the city of love, the moments of sin and weakness that they shared. She let him, he kept going, she ached to turn and face him, kiss him, taste him. His fingers crawled slightly under her shirt, the skin to skin contact making both of them dizzy and she was so close to letting go of her defenses, sinking into him, an ocean that if she could breath underwater, she’d stay in forever.

She turned, their lips inches from each other, it’s that moment before jumping in the water, you know it’s gonna be cold and endless, it scares you.

“TAY!”

She moved away, behind her stood a breathless Trish and a worried looking Jude. Something was wrong, she just didn’t know what. Trish hesitated, like the words were stuck on her lips but she couldn’t find the strength to speak them. Taylor noticed the way that Jude had his hand placed on her shoulder. She moved closer to them, losing Kylian’s warmth completely. “What happened?” Trish never said it. Her eyes were loud enough. “Is he ok?”

“In the hospital.” Said Jude.

“Beth tried to call you—” taylor looked in her bag for her phone, she tried to open it but the battery had died, typical.

“Fuck!” She threw her phone back in her bag and walked away, heading to the parking lot for her car. Her heartbeat echoed in her mind. Jude stepped in front of her, his tall figure blocking her view .

“You’re not driving.” He said strictly “I’ll take you and Trish to the hospital.”

Kylian watched the scene unfold, feeling helpless yet again. He followed them to Jude’s car, only stopping when they got in. He stood by the window. “let me know how he is.”

“I will.” She said, part of her wanting him to come with her, to hold her if the worst case scenario were to come true. He gave her hand a light squeeze and he stepped back to let the car leave.

Lily Wilock, was a vibrant girl. She had long black hair, curly, like her mother’s Beth. She didn’t know a lot about the world yet. She hadn’t known any heartache in her life either, but there was something about this night. Everyone had a worried expression, the bright hospital lights were hurting her eyes and she wanted to sleep but even her mother’s hug felt weird like she wasn’t completely with her. She knew her dad, Charlie, was somewhere in one of those white rooms, sleeping because he needed more help than usual and these rooms were more relaxing than usual rooms, or at least that’s what she was told. It was the sound of quick footsteps that had her turning her head as she sat on the black couch in the hall. That’s when she saw her sister, running, Trish was with her, she was always funny. And a man that she had met a couple of times—she liked him because last time she saw him, he ha picked her up on hos shoulders and she felt like she could see the whole world from up there.

“How is he?” Asked Taylor and lily looked up at her, biting her finger while watching at the grown ups. The tall man walked up to her, kneeling in front of her so they were the same height and smiled, waving, taking her attention off the conversation that Taylor was having with her mother.

“Look at you, all grown up. You’re almost taller than me!”

Lily laughed, blushing and hiding her face “Am not!” she said.

“Yes you are look!” he moved his hand between them, making it look like hers was higher than his and the two of them laughed. It was a loud laugh that came out of lily, one that you don’t hear in hospital hallways. Taylor looked at them, remembering that she had to put a mask on for her sister. She went and knelt next to Jude, forcing a smile on her face.

“He says I’m tall!” complained Lily.

“Does he?” asked Taylor, the color of her voice coming out sadder than she meant it to.

“Look how tall you can be—” Jude picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder again and spinning her around. Trish sat next to Taylor, patting her shoulder. And she had to go against every emotion and need in her body, to not start crying because she knew exactly what was going to follow.

Trish and Jude left a few hours later, if she was in her right mind, she would have questioned them leaving together. But she wasn’t. At some point she drifted off to sleep with lily in her arms. Her mind was awake, ready to hear the alarm, but her body had given in and there was something about listening to a little kid breathing in her sleep. She opened her eyes when she felt a slight tickling on her cheek, she thought it’d be Beth and almost jumped of the couch but it was someone else. Dressed in his hoody, black sunglasses to hide his eyes and a mask to cover his features. No one else could recognize him, but she knew his touch all too well.

“Ky?” she whispered.

“hey.”

“You came.”

“You called.”

Taylor smiled, she looked at Lily who had found a hiding place in her arms and at Beth who was sitting in the end of the couch, head laid on her hand. Kylian smiled at Lily. “She’s cuter in person.” Taylor hummed in response, rubbing her eyes. “You wanna go get some coffee?” he asked and she nodded, carefully moving away from lily and getting up, she told Beth she’d be back in just a few minutes with coffee for the both of them.

Taylor was still wearing her mini dress, but Jude had left his jacket for her. Kylian would have offered his hoodie if he wasn’t scared of being recognized. They walked in silence, their fingers almost brushing as they walked. Taylor ordered their coffees but Kylian handed his card to the barista before she had time to pay. The barista took a good look at him but didn’t say anything. The two of them made their way back to where they were before, Kylian took the opportunity and interlocked his hand with hers, making her stop and pulled her in a private corner they could be alone for a minute. He moved his mask down and she took of his sunglasses because she needed to look at them. He leaned his forehead on hers, giving her any energy he had. She held his hand tighter and let her body drop on his chest, he rubbed her back, silence. That’s where the two of them thrived, that’s where they understood each other the most.

“Have you heard anything about Luna?” she asked suddenly.

He held back his smile “she’s thriving.”

“I miss her.” She paused “can you tell your friend to send some pictures?”

He stroked her hair behind her ear. “I’ll tell him.”

“thanks.” She answered and lowered her head. He noticed, sorrow returning.

“He’ll be ok—”

“Don’t say that.” She said quickly.

He hesitated “what do you want me to say?”

So many things, she thought. He brushed her hair, kissing the top of her head. “I don’t know.” He moved his hand to her cheek, lifting her head and kissing her temple, then her cheek, then the corner of her lips and she could taste the salt all over her skin.

The two started moving again, Kylian putting on his disguise like before, hiding his face and walking back to Beth but her entire body froze as she made the turn. Beth was up, standing in front of the doctor, head low, her whispers echoing in the empty hallways, lily laying on the couch, cuddled with her knees, still sleeping. Taylor’s knees couldn’t hold her up, her hands couldn’t hold the coffee cups, she dropped them, dropped herself on the floor too. Kylian tried to keep her up, pulling her hand but he didn’t insist. He let her crumble and he had never heard her making these sounds, these broken sounds, a low scream, combined with sobs and mumbling. She held on the fabric of his shirt, making a fist with her hand as she trembled, so fragile, he thought. So fucking fragile.

How do you move on from such a loss? When the hand that has been holding you through everything, turns cold. Only thing she can remember from that night is moving between different embraces, the sound of cries, hers and Beth’s. The doctor’s eyes. No one tells you about that, how the doctor’s eyes get imprinted in your brain, stay in you thought every time you try to think about the one you lost. No one tells you that even when you’re in the funeral, ready to say goodbye you think about them as if they are alive, expecting them to call as soon as the reception is over. You save a seat for them in church because you were used to saving it for them your entire life. And your last conversation remains on repeat in your head, analyzing every last word, lingering on everything they said.

“Why do you stay? You’re not even happy there.” He told her, the night before the party, the night before he left.

“I’m content.” She lied, now she whished she hadn’t. Her father coughed, it was a rough cough, she should have known.

“You’re settling.”

She looked at him, thinking about his face now, she could see all the signs, the circles under his eyes, his torn lips, his weak color. She could have saved him perhaps, if she wasn’t lost in her thoughts. “Maybe I am. But at least I’m home. It’d be the same in Paris.”

“Paris scares you for all it’s possibilities.”

“Paris scares me for all it’s dangers.” She admitted, looking down at the blanket that she had hidden under, pulling one of the loose threads, scratching her nail against it. “Should have let go of football when god told me to.”

“Since when do you believe in God?” he asked, almost laughing. “had to drag you in church when you were a kid, you weren’t a fan of it when you were a teenager either—“

“People change.” She said, but she was smiling because she knew how stupid she must have sounded.

“Yeah they do. When they are looking for an excuse.” She looked up at him, her smile fading away. “you’re forcing yourself out, telling everyone it’s your decision while convincing yourself it’s your only decision.” He always had the most brutal truths under his tongue, she pulled harder on the thread “No one tells you to turn back to PSG, but you could have a career in this and you are not chasing it—” he coughed, his voice getting raspier “I’ll always blame myself for you missing your first chance—”

“Pa—”

“Now it’s your choice.” He moved closer to her, placed his hand on her heart “it could beat forever and it would never be enough unless it’s in the rhythm you want it to. Don’t let it die in silence.”

Silence. There was so much silence as she stared at his coffin, little lily holding her arm and leaning on it, a reminder of what she was left with to protect. He was gone now, and the only thing Lily had left of him was Taylor, that gave her a sense of responsibility. For the afternoon, lily and Beth went to stay with Beth’s mother, she told them that she could pass by there at night but she wanted to home first, change. In reality all she wanted to was to be alone, think about everything and sink in her sorrow, in hopes that she’d find the bottom at some point. She parked the car right outside of her house, paying little attention to her surroundings. She got out, playing with the keys in her hands when she noticed a familiar set of shoes, and she looked up, she held her keys tighter. She was happy to see him.

“Jude gave me your address.” She nodded. “I would have come to the funeral too but I didn’t—” she raised her hand to stop him.

“It’s best that you didn’t. last thing I needed was paparazzi trying to get a picture of you. There were already whispers about Bellingham being there, I can’ imagine what would happen if you showed up.” She said while walking closer to him. She noticed he was holding a paper bag in his hands and his eyes were soft, she tried to remember if she had seen them as soft in the past. She let out a breath, like she had reached sore after a long way out in the water. She let her body fall on his chest as he shielded her with his arms. “my eyes are dry.” She mumbled “didn’t think that was possible.” He rubbed her back and lowered her head to her ear.

“wanna go inside?”

“yeah.” She whispered and the moved away to get to the door. She unlocked it, stepping in the house, expecting to hear her father’s footsteps running down the stairs, lily screaming her name, Beth cooking in the kitchen. It was empty. No sounds, no movements, just ghost. She told Kylian to leave his coat on the hanger behind the door and walked in the kitchen, ignoring the chilling silence in the house.

“Coffee or tea?” she asked, keeping her mind occupied, as she left her bag on the kitchen counter and opened the cupboards. Kylian came in a moment later, examining the art on the walls, the decorations, toys all over the floor, lily’s he imagined. There was so much color, so much coziness that he felt like he was trespassing to a home he was never invited to.

“tea.” He said, still looking around the kitchen. He could almost imagine the whole family in this room, laughing, teasing each other, a little sad that he never got to experience it with them. His thoughts halted when he heard Taylor hissing and cursing, he looked at her. She was holding her thumb rubbing it and he imagined she had burned herself. He moved closer, coming up behind her while she rumbled about how much she hated this kettle and she always told her father he must buy a new one. Her words fell sort as soon as he embraced her, pulling her to his chest to comfort her and he could almost hear the tears coming. She grasped his arm, her nails almost digging on his skin and he lowered his head to her neck, his grip getting tighter as more sobs escaped her mouth. Weak sobs at first that turned to heartbreaking noises, similar to the ones she made at the hospital. She used her other hand to rub her face, turning around and finding solace in his hug. He picked her up slowly, walked with her to the couch.

“The tea” she whispered.

“I’ll get them.” He said as he sat her down on the pillows and used the spare blanket on the edge of the bed to cover her. He went back in the kitchen for a few minutes, returning with the cups and leave them on the coffee table before finding his seat next, she moved a little forward so he’d sit behind her. He threw his arm around her, bringing her closer to him and she got comfortable on his scent, feeling slightly lucky that he happened to be here, that she was able to feel his skin on hers. She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh, sniffing in her sadness. He kissed the top of her head and let her cry, without saying anything. He reached for one of the cups and held it in front of her, helped her take a long sip. He was wondering if she had eaten anything in the last 24 hours, he doubted it. He let the cup back on table and brought her even closer, tucking the blanket so she her body wasn’t exposed to any coldness.

“just when I think I’m out of tears—” she wiped away some with her palm, her voice coming out rough. He drew circles on her arm under the blanket and lowered his head, so he could kiss her ear. “It feels like it’s never going to end.” She said, a sob breaking her sentence, her moved her closer to him.

“It will.” He whispered. “it’ll get better.” She gazed at the wall, her mind felt empty.

“It’s not about me I’m more worried about, you know.” She admitted. She moved a little, only so she’d be able to look at him. “it’s lily.” Kylian didn’t know what to say to that, there were no right words. “I met him, I lived him.” She smiled “he was my everything for a long time, what sucks is that she…” she paused, trying to breathe through the pain “she won’t know him.” More tears came rolling down, she shrugged her shoulders “she won’t know what it’s like to have him screaming your name on the bleachers, when he—” she sniffed “tries to be angry but fails—” she laughed at the memories. He watched her carefully, stroking her hair while she spoke “and you know Beth will do a great job but she should have… she should have gotten the chance to live a life with him the way I did.” He wiped the tears for her this time, she leaned on his touch, hyperventilating. “what if she forgets him?”

“that won’t happen. At the end of the day, she’s got you for the rest of her life to remind her of him. Right?” It was so confusing that he’d ever let this woman as close, it was an unfamiliar feeling that he couldn’t translate. How much he cared about holding her together, how he wanted to cuddle her until the storm passed, there was a warmth on his chest, a realization that was settling right over his heart about how he felt about that woman. “have you eaten anything?” he questioned and she shook her head. He went to get up but she pulled his sweater.

“please.” She mumbled and he stayed where he was, didn’t move at all, if that’s what she needed, that’s what he would give her. She turned her head so her nose would be pressed against his chest. And they stayed like that for a while, tangled with each other. He felt her calming, her breathing stabilizing, she’d hold his fingers, play mindlessly with them. An electricity washed over him when she brought his hand closer to her lips and kissed it, he closed his eyes, blocking out any dirty thoughts because it wasn’t the time. “where’d you get that?” she asked suddenly and he looked at his hand, she was rubbing her thumb over a long scar he had on the back of his hand. Kylian smiled but shook his head.

“Can’t remember.”

“Did you get a cat at campus?” she interrogated her finger now brushing over a scar on his arm, that he had forgotten was there. She tilted her head back, forcing herself to smile at him “or was it a lady?”

Kylian laughed, bending his head on hers “nah haven’t met one with nails as sharp as yours yet.” Taylor snorted, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the closeness. Maybe he could help her forget for one night.

“then it must be a cat.” She hummed “I only know one that hates you as much.” Kylian bit his lip, he didn’t want to tell her, as if he would be admitting to a crime. “you said you gave her away.”

He didn’t respond. He stared at her closed eyes, waiting for her to open them so he could look in her soul. He stroked her chin with his thumb. “I said I’d try.”

She smiled, leaning closer to him, their noses brushing against each other. “Is it that hard to find a cat a home these days?”

He dug his hands under her hair. “had to be sure they deserved her.”

She finally opened her eyes, the two of them looking one another like they were about to kiss for the first time. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“I felt like I was stealing her.”

She shook her head, looked down at the threads of his sweatshirt and started playing with one of them “you could never steal anything from me. Seems I keep on giving everything to you.” He lifted her chin with his index finger, so he could lock eyes with her again. She smiled “how is she?”

“I told you, she’s thriving.”

“Buying her the most expensive cat food, are you?”

“Taking her out for walks and all that shit.”

“Do your new girls like her?”

“They never stay around too long for them to find her.”

She scoffed, he noticed the spark in her eyes returning “does she hide under the bed?”

“You remember the high cupboards in the kitchen?”

She hummed

“She stays there all day.”

Taylor placed her hand on his chest “does she sleep here like she used to when you’d come in the apartment?”

He held her hand “some nights.”

“You didn’t have to keep her.”

“elle me fait penser à toi.” [she reminds me of you.] He confessed in a warm breath that hit her face, his gaze remaining focused on her eyes. For all his fear of making eye contact, he didn’t look away even for a second, neither did she. A smile creeped on her face, he wondered if he understood what he said, the familiar heat he used to feel around her returning. Sher leaned in, connecting her lips with his, a sort, emotional kiss, a taste, a slight brush. Then they pulled away, not too much, just enough so he’d look in her eyes.

“Tu m’as manqué aussi” she said in a low tone, balancing her head on his. He couldn’t hide his smile when he heard her speak his language, he wished his could, he wished his hands were tied behind his back as well, so he wouldn’t give in to his thoughts. He didn’t have time to do any of these things because she kissed him again, this time with more force, like she was trying to steal something from him.

“Taylor…” he mumbled in between her lips. She didn’t stop. She climbed on him, getting as close as she could and he had no strength or will to push her away, he wanted this as much as she did. But something in him screamed that it was wrong, that she was too broken and he was taking advantage of it. His hands slid down to her hips, trying to put some force, so she’d stop. She moved back only an inch. He held her face. “you’re too vulnerable”

“I know exactly what I’m getting myself into…” He closed his eyes, remembering of all the times they said this to each other. Of all the times they used it as an excuse. “promise” she added, leaving a peck on his lips “I need you ky.”

He leaned in, sucking on her lips, giving her what she asked for. “are you sure?”

She nodded quickly, leaving a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Her fingers crawled under his shirt, making their way round his biceps, remembering his shape, remembering him. He kissed her, the spot right under her chin, remembering the feeling of her skin on his lips and she locked herself on him for a moment before getting off him, slowly, dragging his hand with her, signaling him to get up.

He did. Their fingers interlocking. He pulled them up to his lips, leaving a trail of kisses as she walked with him to the stairs that led to the bedrooms. He followed, silent, calm and intrigued, she could lead him anywhere and he wouldn’t complain. The reached one of the closed doors. She stopped in front of it, turning to him, he trapped her between him and the door, kissing her again, realizing how much he actually missed her. She pushed down the handle of the door, un-trapping herself and stepping backwards at her room. Her space. There was something different about being in her family house, like he had only seen a version of her in the apartment she was renting in Paris, like she had only let him in halfway through until now. She kept walking until she reached her double bed, a curtain hanging from either side. They stood in front of it, as if they had never touched each other again, like it was the first time.

In a way it was. A chance to go back to the start, when their bodies burned under the same sheets. He made a step closer and she reached for his jumper. He stopped her, his hands covering hers. “no rush” he whispered and moved her hands away. He didn’t care about his own satisfaction, even though he knew he’d get it, he wanted to be sure that he’d get her as high as possible, tonight wasn’t for the both of them, it was for her. His fingertips, caressed her cheekbone, her eyes closed, she was enjoying it. He took his time, moving his finger around her face, until he reached her lips, where his thumb dragged her bottom li. It was dry, it was colorless, he wanted to change that. So he kissed her, she tried to fasten it, but he didn’t let her. He searched for the buttons of her black cotton dress, started unbuttoning it from the bottom-up while his lips gave life to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper, forcing the kiss to last longer. She pulled his jumper again, pulling it off him, over his shoulders and exposing his muscular arms. She let the clothing item drop on the floor and stepped on it as she got closer to him, he returned to her neck, his favorite place in her body, pleasing her any way he knew how. “jump” he whispered in her neck as he instantly picked her up on his arms and sat with her on the bed, kissing the exposed skin in between her dress. His lips in between her breast working like a drug in her mind. She’d let herself in his mercy for the night. He took of his shirt, uncovering himself and she got drunk simply by the sight. She leaned on him, clinging onto him while slid the dress off her shoulders and let it fall off. Still taking his time, choosing his kisses carefully, making sure every inch of her body was touched and shivering. He picked her up and maneuvered his body, so she’d be laying down and he’d be on top. He pushed her up on the bed, so her neck would be comfortable on the pillows and toyed with the thread of her bra, debating whether he should take it off yet or not.

He chose not to, instead left kisses all over body, from her collarbone to her breast, to her stomach, he knew the way like the back of his hand, like it was home. He heard her whimpering, eyeing her before continuing his trip by kissing her thighs, both of them. There was something different about the way he was holding her this time around. Like the time apart changed their little dance. And she couldn’t pin point the difference yet but she liked it. He came back up, pulling down his pants with his one hand, she helped.

And they continued touching and kissing, getting to know each other’s bodies again, until the could both feel it was time to get lost in each other. He could feel him in between her thighs, hesitant, looking in her eyes, asking for permission that she gave freely with a nod. He lowered his head to her neck and before entering her he whispered to her ear “Ma petite mort.” And then he slid on her, pushing a moan out of her lips that filled the room, echoed in the walls of her childhood bedroom that has changed over the years to mirror who she was as she’d grow up. It took her a while in the haze for her to translate his words—

“is that what love is to you?”

“I think it’s fair to say it weakens your consciousness. Has you dying and awakening repeatedly.”

“How did you say it?” she bit on her bottom lip.

“la petite mort”

Except he didn’t say La. He said Ma. Such small difference. Such heavy confession.

Her eyes opened as realization hit, while he was still inside her and hidden in her neck and her body felt so light in that moment, so fragile. And she wished she could confess the same to him, find a way to tell him she felt the same way. He lifted his head from her body, looked in her eyes, she pulled his head down so she could kiss him, let him taste the words she couldn’t tell out loud.

Next morning the sun creeped in through the curtains that they had let open during the night. He woke up with her body still laying on his, still asleep and as fragile as he remembered it. He checked the time and knew he had to leave soon, catch the flight back home—odd, if he was meant to go home, why did this feel like home as well? He gazed at her rosy cheekbones, how her face was squeezed on the pillow, her chest going and down as she’d let out a fragile breath, he gazed at her like she was a painting, meant for his eyes only. He kissed her nose and moved away, searching his clothes around the room, he put on his pants and his shirt. Picked up his jumper and left it on the bed for her. He leaned over to her, leaving another kiss on the eyebrow and she moved slightly, awakening from the hypnosis he had put her under.

“I have to go.” She reached for his arm, holding it gently. He kissed her, one last kiss. “we’ll talk.” He spoke in her lips. She nodded and let him distance himself. When opened the bedroom door, she sat up and put on the jumper he had left for her. She wanted to go behind him, tell him a proper goodbye, but she was terrified that if she did, she wouldn’t let him go at all. She slowly walked out of the bedroom, listening to him picking his stuff when suddenly she heard voices—“shit” she mumbled and ran downstairs.

Kylian was standing by the front step, laughing at something, talking to someone. She had to get to next to him to see her little sister talking. “lily, where’s Ma?”

“In the kitchen.” She said with her tiny voice. Kylian looked at taylor, a little embarrassed at the situation. Taylor didn’t really know what to say either. “What’s Mbappe doing here?” she asked. Taylor opened her mouth slightly, searching for the right words.

“I wanted to make sure your sister was ok.” He said quickly, then he kneeled to her height. “I’m a close friend” he explained.

“Lily!” Beth came in the living room, holding glass of orange juice. Taylor looked immediately at her, regretful of the circumstances “Oh—” she mouthed but held herself from saying anything else. “Sorry, I didn’t realize—” while the grown ups were occupied feeling awkward about everything, lily ha gone closer to Kylian, put her hand in his ear and whispered

“can we be friends too?”

Kylian smiled, the awkwardness melting away as he looked to the little girl’s eyes. He nodded “you can come to Paris with your sister one day.”

“I’m not as good in football. Mark talks about you all the time, he even has a notebook with your face on it.”

“Is mark your friend?”

She shook her head, hiding begin the doll she was holding. Taylor stepped closer. “we’ve got a little crush on mark you see.”

“Oh—” he laughed “do we? Well, what can I possibly help with that? You think he’d like it if you have him autograph of mine?”

She nodded, smiling. Taylor went and found a piece of paper quickly and a pen, giving both to Kylian. He signed even wrote a message for mark and gave it to lily. They took a picture together and he excused himself, said he had to go to the airport. Taylor showed him to the door, the two of them standing out of his car.

“Thanks for that.” She smiled.

“Uh don’t think about it. I know what it’s like crushing over a Wilock girl.”

“Technically she is the one crushing over him.” She corrected. Kylian pulled her closer y the long sleeves of his jumper.

“I’ve left a bag for you. In the kitchen. It’s some gifts by the boys.”

“They still think about me?”

“Some more than others.” He smirked.

“Did you tell them about…?”

“No. I thought best to tell them in person and I wasn’t sure if you wanted too either.”

“Thanks. Yeah, you can tell them when you get there. Tell them I’ll be ok.”

“I will, because I know you will.”

She stroked his cheekbone, grinned. “last night was nice.”

“Yeah” he licked his lips and chewed on his bottom one.

She kissed his cheek, her lips lingering on his cheek “fly safe.”

He kissed her back and got in his car, driving away.

For the rest of the day she had to answer calls and messages, condolences and everything that she had been ignoring. After the 10th call, she felt like she was she was a robot, reciting the same thing over and over again. People she hadn’t spoken to in years were calling, telling her how much they loved her father, some of it felt so fake to her, she wanted to yell at them.

She plummeted herself on one of the chairs in the kitchen table, shutting off her phone and throwing it on the table. “I don’t want to talk to any more of them.”

“Then don’t” said Beth, while she was mixing the soup. Taylor looked at her.

“What are you making?”

“Chicken soup.” She glanced at her “do you mind fixing the table? Dr. Rhodes we should try keeping a routine for Lily’s sake.”

“Yeah…” she nodded and got up. Then she noticed the bag on the middle of the table and sat back down “god I forgot about this.”

“What is it?”

Taylor untangled the bow and opened the bag “Kylian gave it to me, I don’t know.” She put her hand, searching for the random items and took out a dozen pictures. “Bloody hell…” she looked at them, her heart melting at the memories. They were pictures of her and the boys. Pictures of when they won against AL NSSR, or when they had a water fight on campus. She sensed the heat of a tear under her eye. A picture of her and Neymar, looking like dorks. A picture of her in her blue Dior dress, next to Ramos. She let out a laugh. Beth turned to her, letting down spoon she was trying the soup with and went closer.

“Are these from Paris?”

“Yeah.” She said. She looked back in the bag, found a napkin, she picked out and realized—“I’m gonna kill him.” She whimpered, she didn’t mean it of course, all she wanted to do was kiss him. She read the names on the napkin, remembered writing them herself, the first night that she went out with the whole team. The jokes the shared, Neymar being a little too flirty. Kylian staring at her, a gaze that at that point she couldn’t decipher but now she longed for every time she closed her eyes.

“You look happy.” Said Beth, taking her out of her thoughts. She turned her attention to her, confused. Beth dragged back one of the chairs and sat down next to taylor. “Love the dress” she said as she picked out the picture with her and Ramos. Taylor forced a smile and looked back on the bag, there was as shirt in the bottom, she took out, it was with the psg colors, her name on the back, number 16 under it. She was bawling, but these tears tasted differently. “Aw sweetie.” Beth moved her chair closer to taylor and cuddled her like any mother would. She rubbed her head.

“The night before he left, he told me I should go back and I told him I couldn’t because I had him here and I couldn’t leave him—” she could hardly breathe “and now he’s gone and I got you and lily, I can’t leave you either—”

“Hun, listen to me—” Beth pulled away, forcing taylor to look at her, cradling her face “you are not gonna stay here for us.” Even she was crying now “Lily doesn’t need you to stay. She needs you to show her what life can be. She needs to see her older succeed in all the ways that you have. You know how proud I am that she’s got you to look up to?”

“Why do I always have to let go of something in order to get something else? It’s not fair—”

“Oh love…” Beth stroked her hair, her expression filled with compassion and love “unfortunately life is that way sometimes. And possibly this won’t be the last time you’ve got to make a choice like this but as your father would tell you—whatever will be, will be.” Taylor rubbed her nose; she was a mess. “As long as we are terrifying of wanting, that’s when life gets us down. Losing Charlie, it will haunt me forever, but he always cheered for us to get what we wanted, didn’t he? He was such a believer in knowing what you want, with no fear or embarrassment. Always sad that you were so scared of admitting to your own wants.” She smiled, kissing her temple “go to Paris. Be with him, be with the team, whatever you want and that’s when you’ll find balance.”

Taylor nodded and fell in her arms, in the back of her mind, thinking it was her father, that was holding her. She sank in the thought.

When everyone went to bed, she stayed in the living room, she had the lights low, the fireplace open. She was looking at the pictures, her t-shirt laid on the couch, while her computer stayed open on the table, on a booking website for airplane tickets. It was a simple and she’d go back, not necessarily to stay but to get a taste, she if she wanted or even if she could stay. She let down the pictures, leaned forward on the computer and clicked it.

No one said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard.

IM SORRY I PROMISE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS STORY TO HE SO SAD ITS THE CHARACTERS 😭😭😭😭😭 god this one was a hard to write but i do hope you liked it!!! As Always your comments are welcomed and needed, especially now that we are so close to the end. The plan is for only two more chapters but it all depends to how long ch14 will be. What do you guys think now that it's ending? What has been your favorite moment and what do you think will happen? Will these two finally be happy in the city of stars 👀✨ keep an eye out for all the hints. Ending has already been revealed. Love you all so so much!!!

[meanbossart]

I've been really enjoying your fic and it got me curious about how your campaign went??? I got the important parts (your Durge denied Bhaal, Shadowheart spared nightsong I think, Astarion obviously didn't ascend) but what else happened? Will we ever see any of the other companions?

Thanks for enjoying the story! I can say with pretty much certainty we won't be seeing any other canonical characters from the game, Jaheira, Minsc and Halsin would have stayed behind in Baldur's Gate, as well as Wyll. My Durge killed Lae'zel early in the game and Karlach also died at the end of my campaign.

Gale's character decided to go after the crown, and while he was the staple fourth member of my party the relationship had always been uh... Tense. This was before they apparently patched out how needy he was, but frankly it made for a really interesting story since i just kind of assumed his character was kind of a creep wearing a nice-guy's face. Also, to be fair, I DID fall for his "wanna see a magic trick" line but that just kindled the fire to my theory that he's actually a fairly manipulative person (and perhaps he's unaware of it). MIND YOU PLEASE that this doesn't mean i don't like his character - honestly i feel like I got a REALLY interesting side of him in my campaign and i wouldnt have it any other way - this was a party composed of the dark urge, Astarion, Shadowheart and GALE and to have us all turn down power and glory only for the goody-two-shoes wizard of the camp to turn kinda evil and power-hungry made for a really satisfying narrative.

... Sorry i ended up rambling about Gale LOL to actually answer the rest of your question, my campaign went like this:

I made a Fighter, champion sub-class, BIG hulking drow because i thought it would be funny. Because i went in blind I started off as a confused homicidal murderer who is a liiiittle weirded out about his urges but he doesnt stress TOO much about it. Is fairly standoffish and distrusting toward all of his companions which made for a weird start. Motivated by gold, killing things, getting this worm out his head and making off-color jokes. Ends up siding with the Tieflings because i also decided that, as a very hedonistic character who thinks we should be lunatics because we want to rather than because a cult is telling us to be, my durge would profoundly hate the absolute. As a male drow he also really hated Minthara so yeah, easy choice there. As mentioned above, I also killed Lae'zel when she tried to murder-suicide everybody.

I wasn't going to fuck anyone, believe it or not, so during the tiefling party i went with Gale because it SEEMED like he just wanted to show me something neat (it ended early because i failed his checks and i guess he can't get hard unless i can cast fireball). Also, at this point even though i made mostly "good" moral choices i *was* still a dick the whole time - despite this, everyone in camp wanted to fuck me BESIDES Astarion, which was so fucking funny and devastating that I decided my Durge would, from that moment on, turn on the charm and the flattery and make it his mission to bang him. So yes, they were manipulating each other. I don't have to explain why that made for a really really fun little dynamic. Also Astarion had to tell me he was a vampire through dialogue instead of biting me and i got to say "yeah duh" which was hysterical.

I finally banged him sometime during the underdark (didn't go to the creche at all) and during Act 2 I followed the same pattern of doing mostly the Good Thing while being arrogant the whole time, I fell into a kind of chaotic-neutral/true-neutral aligment and watched my little homicidal maniac cluelessly stumble his way into a hero's journey. I had also really grown to like Shadowheart at that point after having a really negative first impression of her character and she basically became my durge's best friend. Astarion also grew on me for all the reasons we know and love and he did his confession to me sometime in late act 2. I Never met Araj (though i think i mention her in the fan story only because her interaction is interesting) so I got the dialogue that isn't prompted by her encounter. I also had to "break up" with Gale at this point which boy that sure came as a surprise to me! I also didnt break the shadow curse.

Because I didnt kill isobel (Again, my guy didnt like people telling him what to do or not to do), my little butler guy made me wanna kill Astarion. I SWEAR this happened pretty late in game, maybe even in the first night in baldur's gate which i realize is unusual. Naturally I didnt and I decided that would be the turning point where my Durge decides to not just Go With The Flow of things but actively fight his urge and pursue its root cause. He tried to be more of a good person from that point on which was kind of a clumsy effort lol

He completely antagonized the emperor immediately upon him revealing his true identity, stole the orphic hammer from Raphael's house, betrayed Gortash after setting an "alliance" with him, killed Orin (she kidnapped the orphan and killed her in front of me because i failed the check :| ) stopped Astarion from ascending and helped Shadowheart kill everyone in the house of grief, i let her make her own choice regarding her parents and she decided to kill them. I also encouraged her to not immediately align with the Selunites just because of her past.

I got Astarion the thing that helps him read the necromancy book and i cannot tell you how satifyins it was that, after giving up unspeakable power by killing Cazador, that dude and his little ghoul army basically mauled Orin and her grandad for me practically by themselves while I was down on the floor with 1 health. PROUD OF YOU BUDDY.

Gale spoke to Mystra as well at some point and i swear I NEVER encouraged that guy to take the crown for himself. It was always either "do whatever you want" or "i think thats a shitty idea." At this point my Durge was super sick of him so they had a bit of a crappy relationship which may have something to do with how things turned out.

I betrayed the emperor, released Orpheus and when he asked if any of us wanted to be a mindflayer i went "Fuck No" big time and luckily the guy just did it for me. Chaos ensues, I kill the emperor and the absolute in an epic battle that took me like a whole day. I also killed Orpheus when he asked me to. Karlach died ( :c ) and Gale told me he was gonna fuck off to get the crown. In the final Astarion dialogue I told him we would find a way to get him to walk under the sun again.... AAAAAnd thats it i think? Man this game is huge lmao i swear i wasnt trying to be long-winded.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Rafal is the King of the Golden Mountain

"The King of the Golden Mountain" is such a Never fairy tale, and a canonical one at that (not in SGE, I mean classic, fairy-tale canon). Since the protagonist becomes royalty, he's probably an Ever, even if he uses violent means to reach his end. So, maybe Good is only Good relatively speaking in this tale. At first, the king does try for the peaceful solution, and some Good fairy tales do end in gruesome punishment for the villains. However, a mass of people standing in the way of you getting your throne back aren't all exactly villains, which is why I'm insinuating that the seemingly Ever king is probably a Never king at heart.

The protagonist reminds me of Rafal immensely, in terms of his reactions and everything. The tale is brutal, and it's basically a revenge-fantasy story, which seems odd considering how most of the Brothers Grimm stories, or the better-known ones, at least, have fairly "happy" endings. This one just reeks of bloodlust and victory and smug satisfaction. Like, seriously, it's insane. And, you'd think that by the title, it'd be more Midas-like, but no, I'd say it's Rafal-like. Really.

The poor, suffering king is just deservedly unhinged at this point, like how Rafal should have gotten his proper, very plausible villain arc. I'm still bitter over the Fall identity-swap plot twist! Rafal deserved real vengeance! Especially after he slaved away for Rhian, to fix mess after mess, problem after problem. By the Storian, can't he just get a break! I suppose that, at best, he could be in Purgatory. He was never truly Good enough for Heaven because I don't think a sudden turn realistically can make up for a lifetime of Evil deeds.

Also, this is a tale where practically everyone's beheaded, so just a little advance notice.

Anyway, here's an excerpt from the ending section:

When he was near his palace, he heard sounds of joy, and fiddles, and flutes, and the people told him that his wife was celebrating her wedding with another. Then he fell into a rage, and said, "False woman, she betrayed and deserted me whilst I was asleep!" So he put on his cloak, and unseen by all went into the palace. When he entered the dining-hall a great table was spread with delicious food, and the guests were eating and drinking, and laughing, and jesting. She sat on a royal seat in the midst of them in splendid apparel, with a crown on her head. He placed himself behind her, and no one saw him. When she put a piece of meat on a plate for herself, he took it away and ate it, and when she poured out a glass of wine for herself, he took it away and drank it. She was always helping herself to something, and yet she never got anything, for plate and glass disappeared immediately. Then dismayed and ashamed, she arose and went to her chamber and wept, but he followed her there. She said, "Has the devil power over me, or did my deliverer never come?" Then he struck her in the face, and said, "Did thy deliverer never come? It is he who has thee in his power, thou traitor. Have I deserved this from thee?" Then he made himself visible, went into the hall, and cried, "The wedding is at an end, the true King has returned." The kings, princes, and councillors who were assembled there, ridiculed and mocked him, but he did not trouble to answer them, and said, "Will you go away, or not?" On this they tried to seize him and pressed upon him, but he drew his sword and said, "All heads off but mine," and all the heads rolled on the ground, and he alone was master, and once more King of the Golden Mountain.

The ending is just so vicariously satisfying! I'm hoping someone will see what I mean because it can't just be me who sees the likeness. This protagonist has his petty, chaotic fun, and is mischievous, like Fala's presence at the Circus. And, he suffered at the hands of various men, for his princess, later his wife, a supposed True Love (the cheater!), just like Rafal sacrificed and went through so much physical pain for Rhian, his True Love and the equivalent of the wife in this story. And, Rafal was almost imprisoned with a life-sentence, and was overthrown by Vulcan just like this king was replaced by another, a false hero. After all that he did for Rhian! The injustice! Besides, it feels like a very Rafal thing to cleverly fleece people out of their belongings, even if it seems somewhat accidental in nature in this particular tale. (This happened earlier in the tale, before this scene. And, the wife didn't completely deserve death, I'll admit. The king himself also erred at times, so they're both at fault.)

Side note from while I was writing this: this has got to be the best, most fitting typo I have ever made: "overthrone" instead of "overthrown," and yet, it still applies to tyranny and thrones! Haha!

If you want to read the entire tale, here's one source from which the excerpt came:

And the Wikipedia page for further analysis/a shorthand summary:

If anyone is interested in reading about another fairy tale parallel to the prequels, here's a link to an old "Faithful John" post of mine.

[calamari-minecraft-corner]

Had to spend a hot minute happy stimming because oh god sixty years he is going to be so so so unhinged

And I fucking love unhinged Dream

I am scared for everyone and everything's safety

ALSO PLEASE ELABORATE ON THE 'dream doesn't let Cala go home' BECAUSE AOSYYQYSHWOSGJQUSGSHEOFYJA7XTWJSUTQ

I mean I have theories on why of course but I wanna hear more if you're willing to share c:

Also how does Cala feel on that???? And I would guess she probably has really complicated feelings on Dream in general

Because you know, everything

Also mostly unrelated side note, I am so excited for Revivebur in this because from what you've posted.... mmmmmm unhinged man that has committed several war crimes, aka exactly one of -if not- my favorite type of character

*evil gremlin laughter-8 writing revived!Dream is gonna be so fun and chaotic because he is so far gone at that point and he just needs everything to stop

And I’m willing to tell you a bit on what Dream doesn’t let Cala leave!

The main thing is that he eventually finds out that the reason Punz finally revived him was because of her help- and she literally did everything to help the cause and wanted nothing in return.

And Dream— figuring out that this woman he has this faint recognition for has done that, he honestly commends it. I mean it’s still Dream- and he doesn’t want her to leave since he feels she can help with his plans and in return he can grant her a favor before she leaves. So he basically sabotoges the way out and is like “oh no! You can’t go home yet, but it’s okay I can help you until you do!” And is basically lying saying he didn’t do that. Like he’s literally fuckin feral to everyone including her but it’s at least slightly less. She is not immune to his descent.

He just wants to return the favor and see if she can help with his plan and nothing more—

Well that’s what he tells himself anyways.

And Cala honestly is so tired at this point she just rolls with it HEJSSKSK

Like there’s a lot Cala goes through in this au (having burn scars on her arms, being struck by lightning and somehow surviving… Sam and Quackity they’re their own category bc jfc) so when the portal to go home doesn’t work she just lets it happen and doesn’t question it. She’s just “okay this is fine-“ because she’s so tired at this point and is going through a lot of emotions.

As well as her feelings on Dream: I won’t spoil too much but she knows it’s not Dre, she knows it’s not him but she still shows that kindness to him even if she’s exhausted and looks like she’s on the brink of becoming undone herself. Because she believes that everyone deserves to have some form of kindness (like she even tries her best with Sam and Q besides everything).

But yeah!

Also.. revivebur my beloved I’m so excited for writing/drawing him more. Because after Dream’s back she relies heavily on Ghostbur and Glatt bc they’re practically very close at this point. And then Ghostbur is gone and then eventually Glatt and she’s fucking alone and has to deal with these motherfuckers.

Surprisingly that doesn’t break her but it’s just that thing of she knows it’s gonna happen so she spends time with them as much as she can.

And Revivebur sees her- and he sees how her and Dream interact and he’s just “oh wait- there’s something there”

Let’s just say he gives her a bit of a time and she’s the equivalent of this at this point in the au

[shytastemakerthing]

Heyy! Since I saw you do OC matchup, I'd like to request one with Twisted Wonderland for romantic!

So here's how I would describe my OC:

Name : Kogane

Age : 15/16 (first year at NRC)

Race/species : Human, fox/cat eyes pupils

Gender : Female

Moral alignement : Chaotic good(evil sometimes?)

Class : 1-A (with grim, ace and deuce)

Appearance : mid-long brown hair, golden eyes, 5'6 (167cm)

MBTI : ISTJ

☆Body☆

Strenght : 2,5/5

Dexterity : 3,5/5

Health : 3,5/5

Energy : 2,5/5

Beauty : 4/5

Style : 4/5

Hygiene : 4/5

☆Mind☆

Intelligence : 4/5

Happiness : 2/5

Confidence : 2/5

Humor : 5/5

Anxious : 5/5

Patience : 3/5

Playfulness : 5/5

Smug : 5/5

Sarcastic : 5/5

☆Behavior☆

With children : caring, sweet

With strangers : rude, harsh

With loved one : sweet, teasing, kind, playful, sarcastic in a joking way

With hated one : rude, mean and sarcastic in a harsh way

With animals : find them adorable but affraid of touch and pet them (except grim)

☆Likes☆

Video games, board games (cards, monopoly), challenges/deals, hugs, sleeping, cats, playing violin, dancing, singing and pastries

☆Dislikes☆

Bugs, reading, sports, too much sugar, flying (affraid of the height so she refuses kalim's invitation to fly on his magic carpet all the time)

☆More informations☆

Kogane is a OC i created based on how i would've "survived" at NRC, but i gave her more smug, sarcastic and evil personality than i am

So if she has to be in a dorm except ramschackle, she'd be in octavinelle, she get along well with azul and the tweels

But also get along well with everyone from every dorms (except : Rook (weirdo) and Sebek (too loud like stfu))

"It's fucked up" she thinks sometime... Because she HAS to return to her world, but they can't get too attached, or else it'll hurt them all

She really wants to return to her world because her father is (now) alone to take care of their family shop (her mom died at age of 7 from pneunomia, they were poor and couldn't save her)

And she also want to "repay" her dad for everythings he did for her

But she also wants to stay

Complicated, isn't it?

So i want someone to comfort her and make her forgets all of her problems by enjoying life with them

I also created some quotes with her and twst boys, here's some :

*Kalim having an indigestion because of Kogane.*

Kogane: I can explain.

Jamil: Can you?

Kogane: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

—————————————————————————

Kogane, during Mascarade event, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Idia: How?

Kogane: How what?

Idia: How could they be worse?

Kogane: They couldn’t, I lied.

Idia: ☠️

—————————————————————————

Kogane: Fuck.

Vil: We've got to work on your cursing.

Kogane: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

—————————————————————————

Thanks for reading! Sorry if i misspelled something and sorry for the looonng text!

Do ignore if you don't want to write, and take care of you! =]

Hello and thank you so much for this request and your patience, it is greatly appreciated! I do hope that you enjoy your match-up! Have a wonderful day/night!

Request: Twisted Wonderland Match-up

I match you with........

Leona Kingscholar

Cats and sleep. Need I say more?

With just one rather handsome lion man, she will have the best of both worlds. Leona is a lion beast-man, essentially a giant murder cat, and he spends much of his time asleep. It's a winning scenario

He already drinks respect women juice on the daily, and that goes into how he treats Kogane. Now, not exactly like a dainty princess, oh no. He knows for certain that Kogane can hold her own, but it is clear that she has his respect and support when needed

Chances are, she has become a pillow for him, not that she would mind. Sleeping cat in her lap, and said sleeping cat is a very handsome man

Ultimate win

More often than not, they will both sleep in his room more often. Nice and cozy in bed

He absolutely loves the sarcasm that ripples off of this woman, someone who can match up with him like that?

Yeah, he's in love

If she is with Leona, chances are she has met Cheka

Meaning he also gets left with her seeing how Kogane is with children...again, no complaints, he's a cute little furball

When it comes to comfort, Leona certainly is not the best with words, but he always believed that actions spoke much louder

He knows that this must all be unfamiliar to her, a whole new world with possibly no chance to get back to her own, a new culture, society, teachings, and so many other things, he couldn't fully fathom what she was going through

What he fails with words, his actions help, and they help a lot

Silent retreats to his room, holding onto her in bed, her head pressed against his chest, running his fingers through her hair and a long her back, anything to let her know that he is there and he always will be for as long as she would let him

And if that day ever came that she would have the chance to return to her world, and if she took that chance, he wouldn't hold her back, what she would want would matter more than what he would want, always

Thank you for your request!

[miercolaes]

normalize your villains. writing wise. i think everyone knows villain behavior irl would get you a ticket straight to the highest security prison out there. but this is about building a fictional world. for context, i've recently been on a rewatch for the show once upon a time and this time, i've tried to stay impartial to the characters storylines. the villains seems irredemable in the first season and frankly, i'm disappointed that this changes. hear me out !!!!!

my version of wednesday addams is for the most part chaotic neutral. wherever the current sails, she'll follow. sure, wednesday has the potential to grow and have (somewhat) healthy relationships in her life, but at the end of the day, she's not a hero. she's not even the anti-hero. sometimes it plays out like that and she might look the part, but she's not good goddammit.

for the crimes that she've committed? guilty as charged. for all the people she had hurt? guilty as charged. for all the misery she'll cause others? you guessed it, guilty as fucking charged. i'm not going to water her down.

in my mind, the addamses were always the outliers, but with the bestest of intentions. morticia and gomez welcomed vile strangers into their homes and tried their very best to make them feel comfortable in their home. they have a skewed perception for the world, something that's unusual, morbid, downright grotesque. edgar allan poe, which netflix glorified and here i am doing a shoutout to train my beloved, would tremble had he known of the addamses. morticia and gomez are kind, in their way. but you know who never really was?

their kids. in the comics (both by the og author and some others icr the author, but more closer to our time), pugsley was the devil incarnate. he showed no remorse, he was clearly thrilled by the suffering he caused others. but i suppose the directors changed the storyline and made wednesday the brand new puglsey in the 90s movies. she showed no emotion, she was a okay with murdering her own, even if she knew as luck as it, their younger brother pubert would live. this time around, wednesday was the devil incarnate.

and i agree with the canon, she can be incredibly intelligent and even more ruthless than she is intelligent. but one thing i've noticed is that, she notices her parents being taken for granted. she is aware that others will use morticia and gomez's kindness against them. sure, they can take it, that's their thing after all. but wednesday noticed everything since she was a kid and she remembers.

and guess what?

just because someone went through hell and back (even if said hell is not the worst that could happen), that doesn't mean someone will come out kind and good. wednesday will forever doubt anyone in her life and she will push them away, just as she'll try to give them the world. but no matter the good she does, at the end of the day, she is the villain. it's not the addams family, it's just the kids and i say that because pugsley and pubert have the same rights as wednesday does.

at the end of the day, being evil after witnessing evil is okay. fiction wise, i feel like reminding. some characters are irredemable. just because they do good things sometimes that doesn't make them good. just like doing bad things sometimes doesn't make them bad. but here's the catch with the addamses. they always, always own up who they are. wednesday no exception to the rule.

wednesday, the villain, can do good things. she can save your muse, she can enjoy your muse's company, she can love your muse. but all of this, all the good things do come from a villain. did she deserve the awful treatment she and her family got in canon? of course not, that we can all agree on. but it doesn't matter what happened, what matters is what choices they make afterward. wednesday will always choose herself. wednesday doesn't pick good, she willingly chooses evil.

sure, a villain is capable of love. a villain is capable of both good and bad. but look at how it always ends. wednesday is a villain and she will suffer, your muse too if you dare to come too close. it's not fair, i know. but this is just my theory, vero's theory. and, you may expect it by now,

please, normalize your villains.