#what do you mean people born in 97 are managers

[iamthetruenhaz]

i take information about anyone being younger but more successful than me as a personal insult

[semper-legens]

139. Hillsborough Voices, by Kevin Sampson

Owned: No, library Page count: The 15th of April 1989 would be a date etched into the minds of Liverpool supporters forever. Nearly one hundred spectators were crushed to death in the Hillsborough Stadium. Tragedy enough, but almost immediately, the police began to cover up their part in the disaster by pinning the blame on fans. The result was a struggle for truth and justice that spanned decades of hurt for those affected. My summary: My rating: 5/5 My commentary:

I...don't know how many people outside the UK are familiar with the Hillsborough disaster. Hell, I'm not sure how many people outside the north west know the details. I knew the shape of the story - the bullet points, as it were - but none of the specifics, so I wanted to learn more. I was born in Liverpool, and it remains the city dearest to my heart. People from Liverpool are often demonised as being benefit scroungers, thugs, criminals, scum, but this is just classist nonsense. Sure, it's not like Liverpool's perfect (particularly historically) but a lot of the problems with Liverpool as a city come down to decades of neglect by the government - 'managed decline', as they call it. And this, Hillsborough...this is one of the most potent and painful reminders of how the government sees Scousers and how they're willing to throw a huge amount of people under the bus to cover up their own mistakes and maintain the status quo.

(Warning below the cut for disasters, death (including the death of children), police mismanagement, police neglect, and generally the police being arseholes.)

Here's what happened, in short. (If you want to know more about the subject, please look into it, I'm just giving an overview.) Liverpool fans were given the worst, smallest, more dangerous end of a stadium that had not been safety-certified for a semi-final against Nottingham Forest. The turnstyles were not up to the amount of fans, and the police who were meant to be controlling and organising people going into the stadium made some terrible calls. A bottleneck formed, with supporters going down a central tunnel into a single central pen, rather than being guided to the side pens - which was made worse when an exit gate was opened to let people through without said tunnel being blocked off, meaning that people were funnelled into the already-overcrowded centre pen.

By this point, the crush was deadly. Fans were climbing the pens to try and get away from the crush, with some being lifted to safety by people in the stand above. The match was stopped, but the damage was already done, and in the crush 95 people died. The death toll would become 96 in 1993 when one person who had sustained traumatic injuries had life-support switched off, and rose to 97 in 2021 when another person with irreversible brain damage from the disaster passed away.

The disaster itself was horrific. There's no doubt about it, and I do not wish to de-legitimise the trauma of the actual event in my next statement. But the disaster might not have occurred, and people might have been able to heal from the trauma and move on and deal with their grief, were it not for the actions of the police. As I implied in the outline above, the police were one of the main causes of the disaster. They mismanaged the crowd. They didn't take steps to ensure safety. But what I haven't yet mentioned are their actions during and after the disaster.

Police formed a cordon across the pitch to stop Liverpool supporters from crossing the pitch, because they feared violence or a pitch invasion. Police wouldn't let people out of the pens despite them literally pleading for their lives, and in some cases pushed people back into the fatal crush. Police didn't let emergency workers and ambulances onto the pitch - or at least didn't alert them to the gravity of the situation, meaning that the response to the disaster was slowed. Many police just stood around watching while fans attempted to save lives and get as many people out as possible.

And afterwards? This book is a collection of testimonies from survivors, families of the victims, people connected to the disaster in one way or another. There are a few testimonies where they speak of having gone to the morgue to identify the remains of their loved ones, only to be pulled aside immediately afterwards and interrogated by the police, with no social worker or legal representation. The people who report this happening note that the police were focused on whether they or their loved ones had been drinking before reaching the stadium, mere hours after the disaster itself. And the reason why would be soon apparent. The police blamed the crush on supporters.

More than that, the police blamed everything on the Liverpool fans. They alleged that Liverpool supporters were beating up police attempting to give the kiss of life, urinating on the police, pickpocketing the dead, threatening to sexually assault the body of a dead teenager, that the disaster was caused by thousands of ticketless fans attempting to break into the stadium, that fans were drunk and disorderly and brawling and fighting and that was why the disaster occurred.

Needless to say, there's no photographic or video evidence of this actually having happened. Because it's bollocks. Because the police made it up to justify the fact that they fucked up so bad that ninety seven people died.

Most of these allegations were made in the newspaper The Sun. To this day, you'd be hard-pressed to find someone selling The Sun in Liverpool. Hell, the place where I work is outside of Liverpool, and I've still seen 'boycott The Sun' stickers around recently. To cause a disaster is one thing, to turn around and claim that it was actually the fault of the victims, when most of the people who were helping and trying to save lives and fighting so hard to protect as many as they could were the fans themselves, is absolutely odious.

But of course, the government took the police's side, and still nobody has been convicted of murder or manslaughter as a result of the Hillsborough disaster. How long did it take for a verdict of unlawful killing? Well, it was recent when this book was published. In 2016. Twenty seven years for an official proclamation that the victims were not to blame. Twenty seven years where the families did not get the justice they deserved. Just because it's easier to demonise Scousers as thugs, as drunks, as scum, than to admit that the police. Fucked. Up.

You'll notice I haven't spoken much about the actual book, but honestly, this whole rant is as much of an endorsement as I can give for this book. This book made me angry. I knew the cold facts of what the police had done, but I didn't feel it quite so much as reading the testimonies of the poor people involved. I knew that the cops were covering their own asses, but I didn't know they were questioning bereaved families about being drunk straight out of the mortuary and were blood-testing all of the victims for alcohol, including children. I knew that the aftermath of Hillsborough was awful, but I hadn't read exactly what happened in the voices of those who were there. This book is horribly, painfully relevant. I implore you to read it if you can.

Next up, two strange kids move into town.

[ravel-puzzlewell]

okay speaking about strip clubs, how is that most of the dancers are always asari and all other species think they are sexy, but act weirded out by humans despite humans looking 97% identical to asari? 

i mean we know how, bioware wanted to have a race of space babes with mind sex gimmick, but they are cowards and thought that if said babes don’t look as boringly human as possible, the players wouldn’t want to fuck them. but in-universe, how is that relationships with asari are completely normal for all other species, but Garrus had to watch an educational porno to figure out what to do with Shepard. counting how many turians are in the clubs staring at asari asses for hours on end, he should know what to do with an ass and a boob.

the only explanation is that asari use their mind magic shit to brainwash every other races into thinking they look like them. and not just like them, but as hot babes them, while in actuality they look completely different. asari anatomy doesn’t really matter for sex, because sex with asari is just them matrix-projecting hot vids directly into their partner’s brain while physically all that happens is they probe you with tentacles for DNA material

but Ravel, some of you might ask, what about times when you look at the pictures of asari and there’s no asari in the room to brainwash you? smart question, to answer this we need to remember H.P. Lovecraft. You know how in “Shadow over Innsmouth” he had like a society of fish people who worshipped sea god and would brainwash humans into sleeping with them and as a result another fish person is born? That’s asari, babes. Lovecraft caught the wavelengths, but bc he was a fucked up dude, he freaked out. 

You know what mega powerful deity that sleeps in the ocean but manages to fuck up ppl’s minds Lovecraft wrote about? Cthulhu. My thesis is that asari’s Goddess is real and it’s Cthulhu, and she lives in the ocean on their home planet passively rewriting every other races’ perceptions on the background to keep up their facade. 

also, bioware, hire me to spice up ur stale ass remake, asari planet was boring in me3, I don’t even remember what happened here, but I DO remember what happened on Tuchanka. So we will have a mission where Cthulhu raises up from the ocean to fistfight the Reaper, rough concept art presented below. 

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

jacqueline wilson’s ‘love lessons’

tw: abuse, pedophilia, characters making Bad Decisions, long unnecessary spiel about my childhood like I’m running a recipe blog

It’s funny how loads of the authors who helped shaped me into the vaguely humanoid being I am today have names beginning with the letter ‘J’; Judy Blume, Jeff Kinney, John Green, J.K. Rowling (yikes, I know) … and Jacqueline Wilson.

I’ve never owned a Jacqueline Wilson book of my own; they were always borrowed from a friend, or from a friend of a friend, or from a friend of a cousin- you get the gist. Her books, for me, come with an entire aesthetic: something reminiscent of yard sales, and reading under the covers with a flashlight, and being lulled into a false sense of security by the deceptively innocent Nick Sharratt illustration on the cover until someone’s best friend gets mowed over.

So I knew what I was getting into when I picked up Love Lessons. I knew this was going to be Fucked Up; and boy, was I right.

(Here’s the part where I warn you about spoilers.)

From an abusive dad to creepy child predator teachers to slut-shaming and victim blaming, this book has it all.

The main character is Prudence ‘Prue’ King, who is homeschooled at the beginning of the book, along with her sister, Grace. Their parents remain rooted in the early twentieth century, and are very strict about- well, everything. No TV, no computers, not a single mobile phone in the house; their clothing worse than the orphans’ from Annie; and their father remains distinctly distrustful of modern institutions like the school and the hospital; and so on, and so forth.

Daddy King suffers a stroke, and has to be taken to the hospital. Meanwhile, Mrs. King (a floppy, spineless woman who lives in fear and awe of her, frankly horrid, husband) sends the girls to school, behind the then invalid Mr. King’s back. Cue Prue and Grace being the freakshows of the school, with their strange clothing and overbearing mother.

Grace manages to make friends, but Prue remains alone. The kids are dicks, the teachers are dicks… well, all of them but one. And that’s the art teacher, Mr. Raxberry (I just couldn’t get over that name; it seems like something you’d name a mythical plant from Pixie Hollow or some shit. I’m assuming it isn’t an actual name, since the spelling & grammar check on my computer doesn’t seem to recognize it), or Rax, as he’s called.

Oh, yeah; Prudence’s favorite subject in school is art, and she’s a whiz at it. This is relevant, because reasons.

And here’s where stuff gets murky. Prue develops a crush on Rax- which is perfectly normal. I’m definitely no stranger to it; I’ve had crushes on my teachers, my mum admitted she used to think one of her professors was cute. And yeah, as I grew older, I grew out of those crushes and now have a markedly more refined taste in men (unless he’s 5’ 7’’, born in ’97 and named Bang Chan, I don’t want him); and my mum married my dad, so I’m assuming she did, too. Admittedly, now that my dad teaches at a university, it’s icky to think that there might be students who have crushes on him- but I digress.

My point is, loads of us have liked our teachers. But I doubt the majority of us have acted on it.

And Prue actively showing her interest in Rax isn’t the worst part. That’s a spot reserved for Rax reciprocating her feelings.

Guess Ezra Fitz and Ms. Grundy (yes, I watched Riverdale; please don’t cancel me) have a new addition to the Creep Club.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, if I’m not mistaken. Prue is 14. She’s just barely become a teenager, and she’s being preyed upon.

Because that is what Rax is. He’s a predator; he preys upon this vulnerable girl who’s never been in a relationship before- hell, she’s never even had friends- her father’s abusive, so she obviously doesn’t have the best experience when it comes to men- she’s unpopular at school, with the students and staff alike- and he lures her in. I don’t care how bloody nice he is to Sarah, or what a good dad he is (well, he’s really not, seeing as he cheated on the mother of his children WITH A BLOODY FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD)- the guy’s a fucking pedophile.

I was staunchly stuck at a yellow light with him; like, sure, maybe Prue thinks he’s flirting with her- maybe she’s looking at this all wrong, she doesn’t know how relationships work- see, he drew a picture of Sarah, too, in his secret notebook- Prue’s just reading into this too much- up until he says he loves her.

Dude. Humbert fucking Humbert. She’s fourteen, for Christ’s sake, and you’re married. You have two children. She’s a child. She’s probably closer to your son’s age than she is to yours.

(This is the part where I bury my head in my pillow. And scream. Extensively, and with passion.)

The book does make some genuinely good commentary on slut-shaming and victim blaming and abusive parenting. And on one hand, I can see why so many people find issue with the romanticization of the when I kissed the teacher trope- but I can defend it, too.

The book is in Prue’s perspective. She thinks she’s in love with Rax, so obviously, she’s not going to throw in some valuable moral at the end- because she’s too young and inexperienced to think otherwise. And sadly, there are loads of instances of child abuse that go unreported because the victims just don’t know better.

What I have issue with is how the school dealt with it, ultimately. Prudence, a child, has to deal with the consequences of the actions of a literal child predator. Sure, Rax ‘clears his name’ by cooking up some bullshit story about how it was only a crush and he didn’t encourage it, but you’d think other adults would know better and, oh, I dunno- dig deeper into it, instead of blaming it on a child?

“She says you told Mr. Raxberry you loved him and he held you in his arms and fondled you.”

Which Prudence denies, because, again, she doesn’t know better. She then goes on to say that they did nothing wrong. To which the adult speaking to her, in this case, the principal, Miss Wilmott, goes on to say:

“I’m not sure that’s entirely true… I feel that there are some aspects of your friendship that could be considered inappropriate.”

FYI, lady, he kissed her- multiple times (not that kissing her once makes him any more redeemable), and told her he loved her, and admitted to fantasizing about running away with her and leaving his family behind. Fun fact: do you know Prudence is underage?

You’d think that Miss Wilmott would maybe give this whole fiasco a favorable ending, but it turns out she listens to school gossip;

“I haven’t been at all happy with your attitude. You don’t seem to understand how to behave in school. I’ve heard tales of unsuitable underwear and then a silly romance with one of the boys in your class. I feel that in the space of a few short weeks you’ve made rather a bad name for yourself… I don’t know whether you intend to be deliberately insolent but you certainly come across as an unpleasantly opinionated and arrogant girl… I can’t help feeling that you’ll be much better off elsewhere. I shall try hard to engineer a suitable transfer to another school.”

And then she comes out with this gem:

“If you won’t leave, then I shall have to ensure that Mr. Raxberry finds another position.”

“No, you can’t do that! He’s a brilliant teacher.”

“You should have thought of that before you started acting in this ridiculous and precocious manner. If I were another kind of headteacher, I would have Mr. Raxberry instantly suspended. There could even be a court case. He would not only lose his job, he could find himself in very serious trouble. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Girlboss, gaslight and gatekeep. The fucking trifecta.

Also, by ‘another kind of headteacher’, does she mean the kind of headteacher WHO DOESN’T LET CHILD PREDATORS ROAM FREELY WITHIN THEIR HALLS?

This bitch is out here blaming a child, a literal child, for the crimes of an adult man.

The only time Prue seems aware of the fact that Mr. Raxberry is actually a very shit person is her immediate thoughts that follow after she tells Miss Wilmott she’ll take the fall;

I so wanted to save darling Rax- and yet why hadn’t he wanted to save me? Had he told Miss Wilmott it was all my fault, that I’d got a ridiculous crush on him, that I’d made ludicrous advances to him? … I wanted to tell this horrible, patronizing woman how hungrily he’d kissed me, but I couldn’t do it. I loved him. I had to help him.

NO, SWEETHEART; YOU MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT.

And maybe I’m going overboard with all these excerpts, but here’s what Rax has to tell Prue, after school, following her expulsion:

“I let her think the worst of you, the best of me, just to save my skin. I said it was ridiculous talking about a love affair between us. I said you simply had a crush on me, and that I was just trying to be kind… You were brave enough to stand up to me and force me to acknowledge the truth… I love you… That’s why I had to take a risk and see you this one last time. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care… Every night when I close my eyes, I’ll think of us together in this car and how badly I wanted to drive off with you. I’ll imagine us walking hand in hand at the water’s edge… I wish I wasn’t such a coward.”

(I burrow into the pillow further. I’m trying to suffocate myself.)

And that’s where I think Wilson went wrong. Sure, Prudence getting expelled for something that was completely out of her hands is unfair, and horrible, but it’s real. That shit can happen.

What’s bad is showing Rax in a positive light after all that. If only Wilson had written Rax to not be the Romeo he thinks he is. Make him ignore Prudence, throw her under the bus in front of her face, instead of this star-crossed lovers bullshit it’s made out to be. Show your younger audience that Rax is not a good man. I’ve got a little over two weeks left for my twentieth; I can see why this is unacceptable. But I was a little younger than Prue when I watched Pretty Little Liars, and my only gripe with Aria dating Ezra was that Noel Kahn was so much cuter.

It shows when you scroll down the Goodreads reviews; you’ve got adults giving it one or two stars, and teenagers giving it four or five, with their biggest complaints being, “but Toby was cuter!!!”

Other non-pedophilia related complaints regarding the book include: Prudence being unlikable- which I didn’t really notice, considering she reacted to some people way better than I would’ve, even at 19 (which probably says a lot more about me than it does about Prue, but oh well). Still, Prudence obviously isn’t the most prudent of people- and again, she’s fourteen. Look me in eye and tell me you weren’t an arsehole at that age (unless you’re fourteen now, in which case, I assure you that you’ll look back on yourself someday and go ‘wtf was I thinking’). Bringing up Toby’s dyslexia in an argument was low, though.

There were people who thought the Kings’ almost-Amish lifestyle was exaggerated and unrealistic, but I assure you, it may very well be real. There are 8 billion people on the world- it’s fair to assume that several of them are complete weirdos.

Grace was a sweet character, and I adored her with every fiber of my being. As were her friends Iggy and Figgy. Honestly, I would’ve loved a book about Iggy, Figgy and Piggy’s (mis)adventures too.

[lostsoulaltair]

OnS Theories (17S). First Theory - Reason of Shinoa’s Feelings

Hello everyone, this is the new theory season! As for the first theory, this will be tied to the special analysis that was uploaded yesterday which was related towards Shinoa’s evolution in terms of how she developed her humanity or rather how her emotions started to bloom from being a girl that didn’t have much attachment to one that cared for those who are important to her.

Analysis tied to theory: OnS Chapter 99. Shinoa Hiragi - Deep Analysis

P.S: THEORIES ARE HELD WITHIN A NEUTRAL VIEW AND SHIPS ARE EXCLUDED.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKerqp5yOGo

Shall we begin with this theory?

First of all, this theory will only touch topics related to chapter 99; and the main question is, why did Shinoa get so powerful and why “love” was the key for her to get strength?

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 99

As far as we know, Shinoa Hiragi was a girl without lingering emotions that gradually started to learn how to feel, but within that, there was something heavily attached within her, what could it be?

It was fear. 

What do I mean?

After Mahiru removed her demon from her; she taught her that demons could prey on a human if said human exposed their desires to the demon; such thing gradually turned into a numb fear; but how is that possible when she wasn’t able to feel emotions towards pain, sadness, happiness, etc?

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Guren Ichinose Catastrophe at 16 - Chapter 41

Despite what the brain makes think, there are always things the body remembers; and specially if those were shocking experiences; in Shinoa’s case, she saw how her sister gradually fell, how she gradually let loose of her demon that possessed her until she died.

Such thoughts are reflected back in the Catastrophe LNs after Shikama Doji returned to her; she didn’t allow him to prey on her heart easily, nor allowed him to get information that could be an advantage for him. But, when did this fear started to grow?

The fear started to grow after Shikama stopped possessing the main head of the Hiragi Family; she quickly detected his presence thanks to the fact of how linked they are; since she is his wielder. And of course, Shikama being an entity that doesn’t see “love” as a feeling or emotion with purity but rather as something mundane; he quickly started to make her hesitate, and insert fear within her:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 68

In said panel, the squad was celebrating they were able to halt the summonings of the horsemen of the apocalypse by the 6th trumpet along the fact they brought him to a normal state, which means, he was no longer a seraph thanks to the Sinful Key; and then this panel came; Shinoa was at first smiling like she tends to do, but such smile vanished and became a frown, but why would she do that?

Easy. She was starting to fear what would happen next; she was worrying about how she needed to fight against the words of Shikama Doji, she believed that having an attachment or feelings of admiration towards Yu could eventually become her doom.

Hence why when they reached Shibuya and Shikama entered in contact with her, Shinoa didn’t pay mind if he was possessing Kureto; but of course, Shikama kept destroying that security she had; he started to prey on what Shinoa really wished which was seeing Yu happy; how can I state this when it is often heard that her feelings were forced to be romantic/sexual according to some within the fandom?

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 72

Within said chapter, Shinoa had a conversation between Shikama only to be taunted by him in order to make her lower the walls of her heart; within that, Shikama started to suggest an exchange; within the exchanges, both options were things Shinoa wished to see for Yu; one of them seeing Mikaela as a human again; she’s aware Yu’s wish would be to see Mika as a human again at that time; which of course, make her hesitate but nevertheless, she tried to stand strong saying she didn’t care about that; but when Shikama stated he knew a way on how to revert Yu’s curse; that’d mean that Yu would be healed instead of seeing his constant self destruction. But, what does this imply? Does this imply she wanted to feel gratitude or anything in exchange for Yu if she accepted such offers?

The answer is no.

Shinoa’s been displayed as a character that does worry of her squad, and that is something mentioned very well by @fandomsarepainful and @distinguished-slacker.

Shinoa has displayed a caring nature not only for Yu; she has shown such nature towards Mitsuba; she’s conforted her in the past due to the events and hardships Mitsuba endured after the loss of her former squad; furthermore such caring side is visible when it comes to respecting important decisions when it comes to Kimizuki and Yoichi. She doesn’t neglect their ideas, on the contraty, she wishes to learn what they think for a best solution; and such side is visible with Mikaela too after he spent 3 months with the squad after deflecting the JIDA.

Returning back to the main point of the theory, after the events that ended up getting her possessed by Shikama Doji due to her trying to save Yuichiro and Asuramaru; she was eventually rescued by Guren and later on gathered the squad with the Queen Krul Tepes.

And of course, the controvertial scene:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 99

What’s the main reason she stated such thing? Is it because she was forced to view Yu romantically by Shikama Doji and Mahiru?

The answer is a big no.

How could I possibly state that?

The reason goes that Shinoa doesn’t see Yu within lust or obsession as I stated before but rather she sees Yu within a pure love; she wishes his well being and his happiness, that’s what she truthfully wishes for. Shinoa never knew the concept of love towards someone else or rather directed someone rather than her sister but Mahiru did what she could in order to preserve that purity from being twisted by Shikama Doji.

But overall, there’s a second reason to this, what do I mean?

Correct. A reason to live

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 99

Shinoa is tired and exhausted on how her life has gone; she’s tired that Shikama Doji had to control everything and made her lose what she treasured:

Her life

Her sister

Her sister’s happiness

Her squad’s somewhat stable life

The World

Her mother’s death

The curse her squad had to carry being guinea pigs

Her own emotions

She is tired of seeing sacrifices for small victories; she’s tired to see that those important around her have to keep losing what they treasure the most; Shinoa is a character that is aware of many things and that is heavily reflected back in chapter 97:

Image taken from Seraph of the End: Vampire Reign - Chapter 97

In said chapter she stated that she expected it was her fault that her mother died after she gave birth to her; she has been carrying so much guilt and pain within her heart to the point she finally got exhausted after seeing Shikama Doji possessing her again when she was learning from the Queen what her sister did in order to create a plan that would start operating in the future with the only hope of protecting her baby sister; the only person Mahiru considered as her family.

But then, if she found a reason to live, does this imply she’s forcing to believe she’s in love with Yu?

No. She isn’t. But why?

Shinoa in her whole life never saw a reason to live, nor exist, she didn’t see why she should keep living but she kept on going without any path; but after the squad was finally created, and after taking the responsibility of leading it; she started to grow emotions, she stated to feel attachment to them but most of all, she started to admire Yu’s kind nature of saving people and giving it all for those who matter or are important or rather being a kind person without receiving anything in exchange.

Hence why, after being possessed again and seeing that Shikama Doji was weakened due to Mahiru’s drug; she found a way to break free and within this, she accepted what her heart felt, which was a pure selfless love; but does that mean she’ll end with him?

No. Shinoa stated that she’d fight because she finally found a reason to live, nor she wants to see Shikama take away all she was able to find and protect; she doesn’t want to see everything vanish without her trying the least, she doesn’t want to be the same lonely girl nor wants to be asleep while knowing Shikama will destroy that amount of happiness she finally managed to find within her life.

That’s why she states she’d overcome him and take over him due to him being the main reason her life was cursed.

Shinoa stopped fearing what her heart felt, she no longer sees “love” as something bad that Shikama stated, but rather a pure feeling that is born with time and that is displayed with the time she spent with her squad who are her friends as well.

What do you think dear readers?

Let me know!

P.S: Theories don’t involve ships and stay within a neutral view

[yegarts]

“I Am YEG Arts” Series: Rona Fraser, Chief Executive Officer of the Nina Haggerty Centre for the Arts

Rona Fraser, Chief Executive Officer of the Nina Haggerty Centre for the Arts. Photo supplied. 

Fitting in will never replace a sense of belonging. Though not everyone is lucky enough to discover that early in life, at the Nina Haggerty, it greets you at the door. That kind of welcome can be life-changing. Just ask Rona Fraser, who herself felt a sense of belonging the first time she worked with the organization 18 years ago. Today, she’s the centre’s Chief Executive Officer, committed to championing the importance of the creation and exhibition of art by those who face barriers to artistic expression. Heralded as a pillar in Edmonton’s arts and disabilities communities, the Nina has earned the respect and admiration of not only the city but also a society now discovering what Fraser already knows: that being a positive force in a community means ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to create, connect, and change lives.” This week’s “I Am YEG Arts” story belongs to Rona Fraser.

Tell us about your connection to Edmonton and what keeps you living and working here.

I was born in Edmonton but have made a home of many Alberta cities. I eventually ended up in Kelowna but came back to Edmonton for the Arts and Cultural Management program offered by Grant MacEwan. I have always been passionate about the arts but am completely devoid of any artistic talent. This program opened a door to the arts world for me that otherwise wouldn’t have existed. After completing the program, I was able to engage with the Edmonton arts community and work with various performing and visual arts organizations. The Edmonton arts scene is a rare treasure box full of individuals and organizations that are passionate about building community through culture. I never take for granted how fortunate I am to be here and be a part of it all.

What makes the Nina Haggerty community special, and what does it bring to the YEG arts scene?

The Nina’s foremost mission is to make arts accessible to those with barriers. Our arts collective consists of over 230 adults with developmental disabilities. For many of these individuals, they will not have a chance to become a doctor or a lawyer, but the arts create an even playing field for everyone. The talent and creativity they bring to the Edmonton arts landscape is profound and serves as an inspiration to anyone with barricades to the arts world.

Artist Carl Phillip showing his polar bear artwork. Photo supplied. 

How did you become involved with the Nina Haggerty, and why did it resonate with you?

I was initially contracted to produce and promote the grand opening celebration of the original Nina Haggerty Centre that opened on 97 Street, 18 years ago. I was instantly inspired by the concept brought to life by the previous Executive Director, Wendy Hollo. The centre was offering an opportunity for creative expression and exhibition opportunities to those who may not otherwise have had the opportunity to become practicing artists. Seeing the talent and joy that the artists exuded at the opening made me an instant believer in the centre and how it could create inclusivity and change lives.

What’s something you want people to know about the Nina that they won’t find on your website?

The Nina helps people to transcend their disabilities and change their personal stories. Often, we will meet new members of the collective and they will define themselves by their disability. For example, “My name is Steve, and I have Down Syndrome.” The Nina offers individuals a chance to change how they define themselves and identify as a practicing artist. Our collective presents themselves as painters, dancers, sculptors, and working artists. It is extremely empowering. It is not uncommon for family or friends of our members to be completely astounded by the talent that is revealed when you give someone the opportunity to create.

What does community mean to you, and where do you find it?

For me, community means more than just the commonalities we share. It’s the understanding and accepting of the differences we have and being there to support one another while growing together. Many people see a segregation between the arts and business communities in Edmonton. I feel that gap has been bridged by talented advocating artists and caring companies that embrace and support what culture brings to a society. Community to me means a fellowship with others who support and grow together. I find community in the Edmonton festivals, arts organizations, local coffee shops, non-profits, and businesses all working together to make Edmonton a growing, cultural, capital city.

Who’s someone inspiring you right now?

This one is easy! Jared Quinney is a Nina artist who inspires and touches everyone he meets. Jared has overcome many obstacles to become an artist and has a zest for art that I have rarely seen rivaled. Jared makes his way on foot every day to the Nina, where he brightens the centre with his upbeat attitude and immense sports knowledge. Jared is not a one-medium artist. You never know if you will find him in clay, print, textiles, or painting, but he pours himself into whatever project he is creating and won’t let anything stop him from being his best authentic self.

Artist Jared Quinney. Photo supplied. 

Tell us a little about the LRT poster project and your goals for it.

The LRT poster project, in partnership with the Edmonton Arts Council and Pattison Outdoor Advertising, launched this October. Over 40 Nina artists have large-scale artwork displayed in LRT stations across Edmonton. This is incredibly exciting, as this high-profile opportunity helps showcase to the community that artists with disabilities are professional artists. The project has generated a great deal of media and community awareness for the Nina, and we are so grateful and excited for the art to be viewed by thousands over the coming months.

What has the project meant to your artists?

This project is extremely impactful for our artists. Having the chance to see their art in large-scale and in highly public display across the city is validating and inspiring. The artists were paid for their contribution to brightening up Edmonton communities with their talent, and the experience has been incredible for them.

What makes you hopeful these days?

I find so much hope in seeing young people having such an impact. I see students raising funds for local charities, my teens and their friends volunteering at non-profits, and youth caring immensely about the future. Not long ago there was an 11-year-old girl who visited the Nina and decided to ask for no gifts on her birthday, just donations to the Nina. If this is the future, it is making me hopeful and happy!

Tell us one of your favourite Nina Haggerty memories.

Every year the Nina hosts a gala awards evening acknowledging artists from our collective with five awards in categories such as Emerging Artist and the Changed Life Award. I will never forget one of the first awards nights when artist Leona Clawson was announced as the Artist of The Year. The entire room of over 400 guests stood up and cheered her on with a standing ovation that lasted so long and was so heartfelt. She was being genuinely acknowledged for her talent and creativity. It was the first of many more standing ovations for artists from our collective. Leona, after receiving her award and stepping down from the stage, was beaming and said, “I think I’ve made it,” and she was right.

You visit Edmonton 20 years from now. What do you hope has changed? What do you hope has stayed the same?

I hope Edmonton continues to have a thriving and passionate arts and cultural community. We take great pride in our arts and festivals, and I hope that never diminishes. I am optimistic that what may change is an even greater shift to inclusion for those with barriers to the arts world. As appreciation and understanding grows, so does the opportunities for talented artists to create, exhibit, and change perceptions.

Artist Shannon Dosser painting in the main studio. Photo supplied. 

Want more YEG Arts Stories? We’ll be sharing them here all year and on social media using the hashtag #IamYegArts. Follow along! Click here to learn more about the Nina Haggerty Centre for the Arts, including its Patron Program.

About Rona Fraser

Upon completing a Business program at NAIT and then the Arts and Cultural Management Program at Grant MacEwan in 2000, Rona started in the field of fundraising and event management and opened Event Energy Inc. in 2002 with her husband, Brett Fraser. Through the years, she’s worked with many amazing clients, including the Ronald McDonald House, Glenrose Rehabilitation Hospital Foundation, and Alberta Ballet and produced many events, including the Alberta Music Awards, Dog City Festival, and the Edmonton Entrepreneur Show.

Rona has helped raise millions of dollars for various not-for-profit groups through fund-development and fundraising events and in 2013 was honored to be recognized by Avenue Magazine with a Top 40 Under 40 Award for her work with charities over the years. Rona has been heavily involved with the Nina Haggerty Centre for the Arts in Edmonton since its opening in 2003 and was fortunate to have the chance to become CEO of the Centre in 2020. She is extremely passionate about her new role and sharing the great work that happens at the Nina.

[chocmarss]

I posted 4,956 times in 2021

167 posts created (3%)

4789 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 28.7 posts.

I added 5,843 tags in 2021

#the clone wars - 1241 posts

#star wars - 1147 posts

#the mandalorian - 804 posts

#captain rex - 536 posts

#anakin skywalker - 424 posts

#ahsoka tano - 404 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 375 posts

#the bad batch - 315 posts

#luke skywalker - 301 posts

#dinluke - 296 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#and there are still people who were going ‘but this deserves a continuation what are you talking about!! you need to continue this’

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

post s2, luke has a whole new wardrobe every time din visits grogu and him at the temple so it’s just

See the full post

631 notes • Posted 2021-02-08 12:00:29 GMT

#4

Boba, holding up Grogu: stinky

Din: no! don’t be mean

Boba, swaying Grogu back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

Din: no!!

Fennec, not looking up from what she’s doing: naughty boy. brat womp rat

Din, distraught: NO!!!!!!!

637 notes • Posted 2021-01-17 12:59:39 GMT

#3

The HC of Din marrying Luke quietly where they’ll exchange the vows among themselves and only announcing it to Leia and Han a couple of months later is good and all, but the idea of Luke dramatically proposing to Din ala PotC in the middle of a battlefield just sings to me.

They’re probably on a rescue mission at a base on some moon that the Imps are holding a dozen of kids as hostages to recruit. It’s heavily guarded and there are a lot of Stormtroopers, because it isn’t the first base Din and Luke have destroyed and at this point, the Imps are ready for them.

But they’re ready for them too, so they go with Leia, Han, and Chewie, with Boba and Fennec coming along because hey, they wanted to join the fun too, and no, Han, Boba’s not gonna try and shoot you again. (“Unless he won’t shut up,” Boba adds breezily, staring straight at Han in the eye that has him spluttering out indignantly.)

So, Han manages to get the kids out of the base and are already on their way into the Falcon where Chewie’s waiting for them, while the rest of their mix-matched team are spread around outside, fighting off the Imps and taking them down with all they got. They think they’re winning, but it’s wave after wave of Troopers and Luke’s getting a little winded.

Then, he catches a gleam of beskar and a whip of a cape as he fights his way through Stormtroopers, and it’s not long before he finds himself in the same space as Din is.

Din’s slashing his way through the sea of white, wielding his Darksaber as if he’s born with it, even if it took months for him to practice with Luke until Din’s comfortable enough to use the saber like he uses his blaster, as if it’s an extension of himself instead of something that he has to hold onto until someone takes it from him. He’s precise in his hits and he moves as if he’s in his element, and perhaps he is, because this is one of the things he’s good at.

It makes Luke lose his breath, because Din looks absolutely powerful, absolutely stunning, under the vivid glare of the evening sun, and the only thing that goes through Luke’s mind as he finds himself distracted by the Mandalorian is, I love him so much and I want to marry him.

And, really, the latter sticks with him until Luke finds himself near Din enough that their backs are almost pressed against each other, fighting off their respective Troopers, before Luke whirls around and grips onto his arm.

Like a true Skywalker, there’s no stopping him from breathlessly say these words when everyone is trying to kill them, “Marry me.”

Din is, understandably, frozen in place, before he swipes the Darksaber behind Luke while he uses the Force to throw some Troopers into the trees. Din, understandably, shouts out, “What?”

“Marry me!” Luke repeats, and there’s a grin on his face and he knows he looks as giddy as he feels.

Luke also knows Din is gaping at him despite the helmet, but then a couple of Troopers try to shoot him down, and Din doesn’t hesitate to shoot them back. “I don’t think this is the best time!”

“I think it is!”

Then, they find themselves in each other’s spaces again, their sabers humming beside them. “Din Djarin,” Luke breathes out. “Will you be my husband?”

“What?” Leia suddenly shouts nearby, shooting down a Trooper. “Now? You’re proposing to him now?”

“That’s what I said,” Din laughs, and it’s as elated as Luke feels and he knows Din is grinning as hard as he is.

“That’s—“ Luke eyes widen for a second and he pushes Din to the side and runs his lightsaber into the middle of some Trooper’s chest. “That’s not an answer!”

Then, he gets pulled back and Din has his hand gripping his arm, his visor directly in his face. “Yes, you foolish Jedi,” he says raggedly. “I’ll marry you.”

Boba, a few feet away, grunts as he rams his elbow into someone’s throat. “Are you kidding me, Skywalker? Right now?”

Luke reaches out and grips Din’s shoulder as Din grips the back of his head, bringing their foreheads together. “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde,” Luke pours out, baring his soul to everyone, but most importantly, to the man he’s come to know, come to love, in front of him.

Din hitches in a breath, shoving his forehead into his as he holds Luke tight. “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde.”

And Luke laughs, before they have to fight these Troopers off until there are none left to attack them.

We are one when together, we are one when parted, we will share all, we will raise warriors.

693 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 15:31:04 GMT

#2

boba sitting down is something so personal to me

See the full post

4420 notes • Posted 2021-07-31 14:39:20 GMT

#1

nothing will be as funny as star wars fans watching din djarin, tired mandalorian who just wants to save his son, briefly interacting with the biggest main characters of the franchise, luke THEE skywalker, who had been thoroughly slandered by the sequels, and thought “oh, they can be in love. as a treat”

4518 notes • Posted 2021-02-18 04:38:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[caitybug]

24 snowbaz? (or whoever you want :))

A kiss for each year alive.

Thanks so much for the prompt!

I hope you like what I did (:

(Feel free to check it out on ao3)

I’m sitting on the roof looking up at the stars.

I’ve determined that having wings has many benefits. 

Flying myself and Baz out of harm's way in Nevada. 

Covering the two of us in bed so we can pretend we are secluded. (It also helps Baz stay warm.)

Flying up on the roof, where no one else is able to go. 

I can sit up here for ages and just look at the stars. The moon isn’t in the sky tonight (a new moon) so the stars are left to shine on their own. 

It’s fairly warm out, being the middle of summer, so I’m only wearing a shirt and joggers. It’s a bit hot, even, in just that. But there’s a nice breeze to cool me off. 

I’m not sure how long I’ve been out here, contemplating life and trying to keep any swelling panic from coming back to the surface, but I’m sure Baz is out there probably worrying about me. 

(Always does.)

He’s a good man.

(A good boyfriend.)

It’s June 20th. 

The day before my birthday. 

(It’ll be the first time that I really know when my birthday is.)

I think they’ve got something planned. Nothing large or big, but something just me, Baz, Penny, and Shepard.

I haven’t decided yet how I feel about it. 

I always wanted to have a birthday. The kids at the home would have cake and get a donated gift when it was theirs. 

They never knew when mine was. Just guess I was born in 97 (which was true, in the end actually) and would give me a gift whenever they had extra.

(Sometimes a couple years would roll by before they remembered that the birthday-less kid hadn’t gotten anything.)

But now that I know, it feels odd. I’m not used to the parties or gifts. 

(The cake, however, I'm looking forward to.)

I take a deep breath as panic begins to encroach upon me again, making my breath shallow and quick. 

I hear a noise from below. 

(Fire escape?)

Even the fire escape doesn’t come up this high. You need a special key to get up here. 

I hear a lock click and I jump, realizing that someone may have called about the half dragon half man sitting on the roof. 

(No one has before. I think Londoners just keep to themselves. They see enough odd things on the road, they may not even question it.)

“It’s me,” I hear as I see the top of a head over the side of the roof. 

I frown.

“Baz? How’d you get up here? I thought it was locked.”

“I’m a bloody mage Simon, how do you think I got up here?” 

Oh. Right.

He steps over and brushes off his pants before walking closer to me. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

I look back up to the stars. There is a particularly bright one I’ve been staring at for a while. 

(Sometimes people buy stars in memory of a loved one. I don’t have the money for it, or even the knowledge of how, but I’ve named this one Lucy after my mum. I think it would fit her. Or at least what I know of her.)

“I’m alright, yeah,” I reply, looking up to it. 

What would birthdays have been like with her around? 

Baz takes a seat next to me and looks up at the sky as well. 

“When I was young,” he starts, moving closer to me. Our shoulders touch and I let my head fall onto his shoulder. “My mother and I would come outside on clear nights like this, and she’d show me how to identify constellations in the sky.” 

I let him pause, waiting for him to continue. 

“So I still come out sometimes and look up and think of her.” He reaches a hand over and places it on my knee, giving it a light squeeze. “But I also wouldn’t mind coming out here and doing the same with you, if you’d ever like.” 

I think for a moment before responding. 

“I think I’d like that,” I say quietly, lifting my head up to look at him.

He leans in and kisses me, pulling me close by the back of my neck. 

It’s nice and lovely, causing my brain to blissfully shut off, and give my body something else to do. 

I try to pull back once, but he doesn’t allow it, so I give in.

But then it keeps going and I open my eyes and frown. His hand is still on my neck, fairly tight, and his eyes are closed.

(His eyelashes are so long for a bloke.)

Focus, Simon.

“Baz?” I manage around our lips. 

He hums in response.

“Can I breath, maybe, for a moment?” I ask.

It all comes out muffled as he still hasn’t let me part. 

“Not yet,” he says, sighing closer into me. 

I close my eyes again.

It does feel nice.

(But also- a bit odd.)

“What are you playing at?” I ask. 

I can feel his smile against my lips. 

He moves slightly, not allowing us to completely separate, but also backs enough away that I can breath a bit. 

“It’s after midnight,” he says, his lips brushing against mine for every word.

I wait a moment for him to explain. 

“Meaning it’s your birthday, Snow. Therefore you get birthday kisses.”

“So is your masterful plan to snog me all day?” I ask. 

He lets me pull back and opens his eyes.

“A kiss for every year alive,” he says, as if it’d explain anything. “So for the first 23 minutes of your birthday, I plan to kiss you.”

I huff out a laugh.

“You’re insane,” I say, my smile growing bigger.

He smiles back and raises an eyebrow.

“Insane for you,” he jests, leaning in. “Now, please lean in, we’ve still got 15 minutes to go of proper snogging.” 

I pull him close by his waist and let him continue.  

(Not like I would complain about a birthday rule such as this anyway. Not when it’s from Baz.)

[kayliemusing]

30

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

[bobasheebaby]

200 Harry Potter Prompts

Let me preface with this: I love the Harry Potter series, both the books and the movies and have shared both with my son; HOWEVER I don’t support the things that JK Rowling has been saying recently. I refuse to let her transphobia destroy something I love so I propose we take back these quotes from the characters we love and make as many of them as gay as we possibly can. Fuck you JK

1 “Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” —Albus Dumbledore

2 “No post on Sundays.” —Vernon Dursley

3 “You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant … but scary.” —Ron Weasley

4 “It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” —Albus Dumbledore

5 “Honestly, don’t you two read?” —Hermione Granger

6 “Why couldn’t it be ‘follow the butterflies’?” —Ron Weasley

7 “Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.” —Arthur Weasley

8 “It is our choices, NAME, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Albus Dumbledore

9 “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” —Harry Potter

10 “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” —Albus Dumbledore

11 “I don’t go looking for trouble, trouble usually finds me.” —Harry Potter

12 “The ones that love us never really leave us.” —Sirius Black

13 “What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.” —Rubeus Hagrid

14 “Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” —Albus Dumbledore

15 “I am what I am, an’ I’m not ashamed.” —Rubeus Hagrid

16 “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” —Albus Dumbledore

17 “Twitchy little ferret, aren’t you, NAME?” —Hermione Granger

18 “You’re just as sane as I am.” —Luna Lovegood

19 “I mean, it’s sort of exciting, isn’t it, breaking the rules?” —Hermione Granger

20 “Give him/her hell from us, NAME.” —Fred and George Weasley

21 “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on.” —Sirius Black

22 “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” —Hermione Granger

23 “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.” —Luna Lovegood

24 “Let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.” —Albus Dumbledore

25 “Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.” —Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem

26 “Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.” —Kingsley Shacklebolt

27 “It is the quality of one’s convictions that determines success, not the number of followers.” —Remus Lupin

28 “Not my son/daughter, you bitch!” —Molly Weasley

29 “You’ll stay with me?” “Until the very end.” —Harry and James Potter

30 “Of course it’s happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” —Albus Dumbledore

31 “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” —Albus Dumbledore

32 “Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead." — Harry Potter

33 “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." — Sirius Black

34 “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." — Albus Dumbledore

35 “It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more." — Albus Dumbledore

36 “You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble?" — Albus Dumbledore

37 “Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.” — Albus Dumbledore

38 “The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.'" — Albus Dumbledore

39 “Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself." — Hermione Granger

40 “I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there." — Harry Potter

41 “When in doubt, go to the library." — Ron Weasley

42 “Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward." — Draco Malfoy

43 “Mischief Managed!" — Harry Potter

44 “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided." — Albus Dumbledore

45 “Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go." — Voldemort

46 “Curiosity is not a sin…. But we should exercise caution with our curiosity… yes, indeed." — Albus Dumbledore

47 “Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." — Albus Dumbledore

48 “The thing about growing up with NAME (and NAME) is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.'" — Ginny Weasley

49 “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." — Albus Dumbledore

50 “NAME says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right." — Hermione Granger

51 “Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe." — Nearly Headless Nick

52 “Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth." — Albus Dumbledore

53 “No, NAME, you listen,” (pause) “We're coming with you. That was decided months ago — years, really.'" —Hermione Granger

54 “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it." ― Albus Dumbledore

55 “Do not pity the dead, NAME. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love. “-– Albus Dumbledore

56 “Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” – Ginny Weasley

57 “For in dreams we enter a world that is entirely our own.” – Albus Dumbledore

58 “We’re all going to keep fighting, NAME. You know that?” – Neville Longbottom

59 “I am not worried, NAME … I am with you.” – Albus Dumbledore

60 “Celebrity is as celebrity does, remember that.” – Gilderoy Lockhart

61 “Parents shouldn’t leave their kids unless —unless they’ve got to.” – Harry Potter

62 “Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.” – Lord Voldemort

63 “Killing is not so easy as the innocent believe.” – Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

64 “What's life without a little risk?" — Sirius Black

65 “There were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness.” – Remus Lupin

66 “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

67 “You will also find that help will always be given at PLACE to those who ask for it.” – Albus Dumbledore

68 “I mean, you could claim that anything’s real if the only basis for believing in it is that nobody’s proved it doesn’t exist!” – Hermione Granger

69 “To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever." — Albus Dumbledore

70 “Though we may come from different places, and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one." — Albus Dumbledore

71 “Always.” — Severus Snape

72 “Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.” — Albus Dumbledore

73 “It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated.” — Albus Dumbledore

74 “Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.” — Albus Dumbledore

75 “Time is making us fools again." — Albus Dumbledore

76 “I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.” — Albus Dumbledore

77 “The consequences of our actions are always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed.” — Albus Dumbledore

78 “I just feel so ... angry, all the time., and what if after everything I've been through, something's gone wrong inside me. What if I'm becoming bad?" — Harry Potter

79 “Tut, tut — fame clearly isn’t everything.” — Severus Snape

80 “Well, it may have escaped your notice, but life isn’t fair.” — Severus Snape

81 “Ah, yes,” he/she said softly, “NAME. Our new — celebrity.” — Severus Snape

82 ““I wish … I wish I were dead …” “And what use would that be to anyone?” — Severus Snape & Albus Dumbledore

83 “You don’t want me as your enemy, NAME.” — Severus Snape

84 “DON’T . . . CALL ME COWARD!” — Severus Snape

85 “Look . . . at . . . me . . . “ — Severus Snape

86 “Then you should have died! Died, rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you." — Sirius Black

87 “NAME was a brave, clever, and energetic man/woman, and such men/women are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger." — Albus Dumbledore

88 “Like the fact that the person NAME cared for the most about in the world was you.” — Albus Dumbledore

89 “You don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!” — Sirius Black

90 “Well, [bad] times like that bring out the best in some people and the worst in others.” — Sirius Black

91 “Oh, I’ve interrupted a deep thought, haven’t I? I can see it growing smaller in your eyes.” — Luna Lovegood

92 “I sleepwalk, you see. That’s why I wear shoes to bed.” — Luna Lovegood

93 “He/She doesn’t think you treated him:her very well, because you wouldn’t dance with him/her. I don’t think I’d have minded. I don’t like dancing very much.” — Luna Lovegood

94 “Come, daddy, NAME doesn't want to talk to us right now. He's/She’s just too polite to say it.” ~Luna Lovegood

95 “Being different isn't a bad thing. It means you're brave enough to be yourself.” - Luna Lovegood

96 “NAME, if brains were gold, you'd be poorer than NAME, and that's saying something.” — Draco Malfoy

97 “You foul, lying, evil little cockroach!” — Hermione Granger

98 “Oh, it was NAME, I was thinking about him and I lost track of things.” — Hermione Granger

99 “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.” — Hermione Granger

100 “It would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down our throats, NAME, because in case you haven’t noticed, NAME and I are on your side.” — Hermione Granger

101 “Next time there’s a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!” — Hermione Granger

102 “Very well spotted.” — Hermione Granger

103 “Always the tone of surprise.” — Hermione Granger

104 “Sometimes friendship means not having to say anything. Thank yous and apologies can sometimes get lost, but that doesn’t mean they’re unexpressed.” — Hermione Granger

105 “You’d think a bit of kissing would cheer him/her up.” — Ron Weasley

106 “And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!” — Ron Weasley

107 “I knew NAME was lying about that tattoo.” — Ron Weasley

108 “There's a time and a place for getting a smart mouth.” — Ron Weasley

109 “Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading.” — Ron Weasley

110 “What are you doing with all those books anyway?” — Ron Weasley

111 “Hang on a moment!” (said sharply) “We’ve forgotten someone!” — Ron Weasley

112 “I never really gave up on you. Not really." — Ginny Weasley

113 “It's okay NAME, it's alright. It doesn't matter." — Ginny Weasley

114 “People think they know all there is to know about you, but the best bits of you are ... heroic in really quiet ways." — Ginny Weasley

115 “Excuse me, but I care what happens to NAME as much as you do!” — Ginny Weasley

116 “Yeah, NAME, because you’re so talented ... at posing ...” — Ginny Weasley

117 “Forgot to brake, NAME, sorry.” — Ginny Weasley

118 “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?” — Ginny Weasley

119 “I never really gave up on you. Not really. I always hoped ... NAME told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And he/she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.” — Ginny Weasley

120 “There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for.” — Ginny Weasley

121 “A good first impression can work wonders.” — Molly Weasley

122 “Beds empty! No note! Car gone-could have crashed-out of my mind with worry-did you care?” — Molly Weasley

123 “Where's the fun without a bit of risk?” — Fred Weasley

124 “You're joking, NAME! You are actually joking, NAME ... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-“ — Fred Weasley

125 “What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, NAME,” [sarcastically.] “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.” — Ron and Fred Weasley

126 “Where is NAME?" "Still in the showers," "We think he’s/she's trying to drown himself.” — Harry Potter and Fred Weasley

127 “We thought we heard your dulcet tones." "You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, NAME, let it all out," “There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.” — George and Fred Weasley

128 “I don't think you're a waste of space.” — Dudley Dursley

129 “Yeah, but coming from NAME that's like ‘I love you.’” — Harry Potter

130 “The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to NAME —” “— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it.” — Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin

131 “What you fear most of all is-fear.” —Remus Lupin

132 “There’s a bigger cause out there. It’s bigger than any of us here. But we stick together, all right? We stick together and look out for each other. Because you four are all I’ve got left. And I’m not going to see you die. Forever alive, all right? We’re not going to die." -Sirius Black

133 “Thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?” “We are, NAME.” — Severus Snape and Lily Potter

134 “NAME was scowling at him/her, but NAME refused to be judged by a cat.”

135 “I don’t know everything about life and marriage and happiness. But I do know what love is. And I do know that when love is real, and when love is in its strongest form, it is the most powerful thing on this earth. It kills, saves lives, heals wounds, and most of all, brings hope. That is what you have done for me, NAME. You have brought me hope." — James Potter

136 “I'm sorry too, that I will never know him/her ... but he/she will know why I died and I hope he/she will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he/she could live a happier life." — Remus Lupin

137 “I DON'T CARE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!” — Harry Potter

138 “You do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” — Albus Dumbledore

139 “He/She must have known I'd want to leave you." “No, he/she must have known you would always want to come back.” — Ron Weasley and Harry Potter

140 “You think I'm a fool?" “No, I think you're like NAME, who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his/her friends.” — Harry Potter and Remus Lupin

141 “You’re less like your father/mother/etc than I thought. The risk would’ve been what made it fun for NAME.” — Sirius Black

142 “The battle is always the same, just with different chapters.”

143 “I will if you go out with me, NAME.” — James Potter

144 “Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” — Albus Dumbledore

145 “We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, NAME, but battle on." — Albus Dumbledore

146 “Eat, you'll feel better." — Remus Lupin

147 “Training for the ballet, NAME?” — Draco Malfoy

148 “You’re a fool, NAME, and you will lose everything.” — Voldemort

149 “There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it.” — Voldemort

150 “What if I don't care?" “I care. How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral ...and it was my fault ...” — Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter

151 “Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies.”

152 “I have seen your heart, and it is mine.” — Voldemort

153 “What is it about my presence in your home that displeases you, NAME?” “Nothing — nothing, my Lord!” “Such lies, NAME . . .” — Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy

154 “Come out, NAME ... come out and play, then it will be quick it might even be painless I would not know I have never died.” — Voldemort

155 “Do nothing! He's/She’s mine to finish! He's /She’s mine!” — Voldemort

156 “They never learn. Pity.” — Voldemort

157 “Invite him inside, NAME. Where are your manners?” — Voldemort

158 “As inspiring as I find your bloodlust, NAME, I must be the one to kill NAME.” — Voldemort

159 “Oh, he/she knows how to play, little bitty baby NAME.” — Bellatrix

160 “I don't like to be kept waiting!” — Bellatrix (Hermione)

161 “Ah, shut up, NAME, yeh great prune.” — Hagrid

162 “You think it - wise - to trust NAME with something as important as this?" “I would trust NAME with my life.” — McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore

163 “It unscrews the other way.” — Professor McGonagall

164 “They’re supposed to be, you blithering idiot.” — Professor McGonagall

165 “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, NAME." — Professor McGonagall

166 “"I – I didn't think –" “That is obvious." — Harry Potter and Professor McGonagall

167 “Why is it when something happens, it is always you three?” — Professor McGonagall

168 “NAME, that was foolish!" "He spat at you.” — Professor McGonagall and Harry Potter

169 “NAME – you're here! What –? How –?" — Professor McGonagall

170 “I didn't want anyone to talk to me.” "Well, that was a bit stupid of you.” — Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley

171 “Are you really giving us permission to do this?” “Yes, NAME.” “Blow it up? Boom?” “BOOM!” Neville Longbottom and Professor McGonagall

172 “That's the spirit, now away you go.” — Professor McGonagall

173 “NAME, take NAME with you. He/She looks far too happy over there.” — Professor McGonagall

174 “Do nothing? Offer him/her up as bait? NAME is a boy/girl/child! Not a piece of meat!” — Professor McGonagall

175 “That was bloody brilliant!” — Ron Weasley

176 “May I offer you a cough drop, NAME?” — Professor McGonagall

177 “Things at NAME are far worse than I feared." — Dolores Umbridge

178 “You know, I really hate children." — Dolores Umbridge

179 “I'm sure we're all going to be very good friends." — Dolores Umbridge

180 “The time has come for answers, whether he/she wants to give them or not." — Dolores Umbridge

181 “Deep down, you know that you deserve to be punished. Don't you, NAME?" — Dolores Umbridge

182 “I WILL have order!" — Dolores Umbridge

183 “What NAME doesn't know won't hurt him/her." — Dolores Umbridge

184 “As I told you NAME, naughty children deserve to be punished.” — Dolores Umbridge

185 “NAME, do something. Tell them I mean no harm.” “I'm sorry, NAME. But I must not tell lies.” — Harry Potter and Dolores Umbridge

186 “And that, boys/girls, is why you should never go on looks alone.”

187 “NAME, listen ...” [quietly] “I can’t be involved with you any more. We’ve got to stop seeing each other. We can’t be together.” “It’s for some stupid, noble reason, isn’t it?” — Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley

188 “It’s been like ... like something out of someone else’s life, these last few weeks with you. But I can’t ... we can’t ... I’ve got things to do alone now.” — Harry Potter

189 “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love."

190 “You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!” — Albus Dumbledore

191 “NAME’s man/woman through and through, aren’t you NAME?” “Yeah I am. Glad we straightened that out.”

192 “He/She accused me of being NAME’s man/woman through and through.” “How very rude of him/her.” “I told him/her I was.”

193 “He/She will only be gone from PLACE when none here are loyal to him/her.” — Harry Potter

194 “Working hard is important. But there is something that matters even more, believing in yourself.” — Harry Potter

195 “One can never have enough socks.” — Albus Dumbledore

196 “People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than right.” — Albus Dumbledore

197 “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” — Albus Dumbledore

198 “The best of us sometimes eat our words.” — Albus Dumbledore

199 “Time will not slow down when something unpleasant lies ahead.” — Hermione Granger

200 “Don’t you tell me what to do, NAME!” — Hermione Granger

[whenallelsefails-eatpie]

Finally Answering Questions for y’all

Q1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I used to wish I was taller because I already am tall for an (AGAB)female (5′8 1/2) but then I learned about platforms so. 

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Monkey Ball or Sonic Adventure Escape the City...I only had a Gamecube.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Uses humor as a defense mechanism but will quickly become extremely invested in you  and give you immense amounts of unending love if they vibe w you

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

extremely, on my back and sides (use this information wisely. I take no responsibility for involuntarily punching anyone who tickles me)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

absolutely nothing, allergies are to weed out the weak. (jkjk no eugenics here sis you slay that epipen)

11: What’s your sexuality?

~ pansexual  ~ (prefer agab [not cis, those are two different things] females)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea, then coffee with cocoa. I don’t enjoy cocoa or coffee as much separately.

37: What is your eye color?

hazel/green 

38: Introvert or extrovert?

I’m ambiverted but lean toward introversion. 

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh yeah absolutely, I personally just prefer that the tattoos aren’t on your face.  Or with piercings that they don’t take up so much of your face that I can’t see what you really look like.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

pink, red, or platinum 56: Something that calms you down?

reading, playing instruments, taking a bath, cooking or baking

57: Have any mental disorders?

yessir. ADD, anxiety. and I used to have really bad depression. Now my depression is simply manageable lol. 

73: What is your MBTI type?

INFP (enneagram 4)

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

surprisingly yes, will I come close to passing out? Maybe. But I can.

87: Do your socks always match?

never, I hate matching my socks unless the socks are funky and need to match to give them the biggest bang for their buck. 

92: A store you hate?

Dick’s sporting goods. I have been dragged around that place for hours and absolutely nothing there interests me. (edit: I found a beanie that I liked but my previous opinion still stands)

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

start counting and never stop. If you mean in terms of actual measurements like cups/ounces, I can drink 20. What can I say I’m from New England.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Definitely fly because that might help lessen my fear of heights

95: Do you like to wear camo?

literally shoot me if you ever see me wearing camo. please, I beg you. that will be me at my lowest point 

96: Winter or summer?

Autumn. Next question.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

3-4 minutes. It’s all that breath control from musical theatre.

99: Someone you look up to:

Jughead Jones. Yes I said that, fight me. He is completely himself and he allows the different facets of his personality to shine through to people that he loves and cares about. He is loyal and caring but also unique and resilient. Plus his fave food is burgers which is an instant win for me.

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic, Barnes and Nobles, Savers or any thriftstore 

102: Where do you live?

New England bb (; gettin that dark academia aesthetic straight from the source

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Amber

105: Do you drink milk?

You mean out of the glass? Like a psychopath? Like a serial killer? Absolutely not

106: Do you like bugs?

I do! Except for spiders and mosquitoes (although I’m warming up to spiders)

109: Can you draw:

Eh yeah ig, well enough. I draw realistically but I’m not great at animated style. 

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” (like why? does it personally affect you? are you planning on boning me? if not then buzz off)

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes, but only at night when the beach is quiet. I’m not a huge fan of the beach during the day

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Rainy or sunny. Don’t go givin me the clouds with none of the drizzle.

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Personality first and foremost. Humor and kindness. But physically; their smile and mannerisms. 

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Veggies (or berries i like berries)

121: Something you want to do right now:

Run away... ahah. But in all honesty I would love to go mushroom foraging rn, or possibly go on an adventure. Maybe go put on clothing meant for an entirely different time period and run around Target idk.

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely not sour I hate sour. Spoonfeed me wasabi, that I can handle. But if you make me eat a Warheads I will cry. 

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

I personally have a lot of problems with the funeral industry, so I would rather not take up space and rot preservation chemicals into the earth. But if I had an interim tombstone with no body underneath, it would read “Live Laugh Love” bc ~irony~

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that I’m very individualistic and stubborn

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes absolutely, that’s what they’re there for.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Do I like feeling like I’m about to full send through the crust of the earth and die? No. No I do not. (I am a simple person, I go to carnivals for the food and to feed off terror.) 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Cookie

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

OH YEAH absolutely, I am a repressed gen z homosexual raised in a homophobic religious atmosphere, I am practically born with a therapist assigned to me.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Definitely good -_- unfortunately. Catch me bein the mom friend.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I prefer giving, but I am learning how to recieve. 

144: What makes you angry

People who live their lives in willful ignorance despite the endless resources available to them and let that ignorance hurt others.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

All of em. Gimme em all. I don’t like boys as much currently but I would still probably lay my life on the line for some. 

147: Are you androgynous?

Yes. It’s more fluid than it is being in consistent limbo between masc and femme. Usually I’m androgynous but I often swing wildly between both ends of that socially perceived spectrum. 148: Favorite thing about yourself physically?

My hands or smile(product of bracesTM). But I have been told I have nice hands. 

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

I am a very strong blend of wise and class clown. I can do em both, I can do em well, and I can do em whenever. I also care a lot about others but I don’t change myself to be accepted by them. 

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

MLK Jr. --> I want to gain perspective on some of the current global issues. Jesus --> I’ve got a lot of questions for that dude. JRR Tolkien bc he’s incredible or Joan of Arc for the same reason

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Ooh well, as a woman not many eras are desirable. But um probably either the 70s or Ancient Greece

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES. GIMME UR FINGERS > i meant that to sound much less threatening than it did but my statement still stands. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes it’s literally one of my favorite things to do. I hab empty lap. *pat pat* U may lay your head on it and watch Rilakkuma and Kaoru with me while I play with your hair. pls. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Women..... That’s it. That’s the tweet.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That I am not a member of the alphabet mafia. (It’s not currently safe for me to come out) Now tell me *shines light in your face* who are your contacts?

164: Do you have long or short hair?

I have medium hair. It’s around the length of a bisexual bob or a good mullet. 

165: Shortest/Longest your hair has ever been:

Shortest was a pixie cut, almost buzzed, amazing. Longest was to my butt and was literally the worst experience in existence. I shall to this day actively rebel against having hair like that again. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

Organized religion can suck it. You can’t organize your relationship with God, nor can you stick it into a little manmade box and pretend that you have the ability to create a perfect faith which others have to either follow or perish. It’s arrogant and damaging and hurtful and not at all what Christianity is supposed to mean. 

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

I do. I think it’s important and something we need to think about. I do believe there is something after death, and I like to believe that my life has meaning. I think that questions of creation are important questions to ask and we can’t just ignore them.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes! It’s fun! Pretty colors!

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Absolutely. And the ones I didn’t feel like answering I simply omitted.

[eunheefmd]

Hey guys, I’m definitely not a newbie here lol it’s Kim (Guanting’s mun) and this is a revamped version of my old muse, Eunhee. She’s had a lot of revamps and she’s had a lot of FC changes, but I think this version of herself is the best one yet. If you’re interested in any of her plots, you can find them HERE and if you see anything you like, you can click that heart bottom in the bottom righthand corner of this post and I’ll shoot you an IM! And before I forget, you can check out her profile HERE! And if d*scord is easier for you, add me! My ID is chungha's foot stool#9502 (yes I’m trash for Chungha, don’t look at me)

She was born in 1995 and was the only child for the first few years of her life

Then her brother came along

Her parents neglected her in favor of her brother, who did acting as a child (I’ll be sending in a wanted connection for her brother, so if you’re interested he’ll be a ‘97 liner or younger!) 

While they neglected her, she learned how to fend for herself and started developing talents of her own

She asked her music teacher to give her private singing lessons after school, and that went on for about four years

They weren’t aware that she could sing until she asked if she could audition for record labels

She was almost immediately offered a spot as a trainee at her first label, and her parents were shocked when she passed the audition, but signed the papers allowing her to become a trainee

She didn’t really speak to them during her time as a trainee, and only called her brother every once in a while when she knew her parents wouldn’t be around

Her trainee period was a very.. interesting time. This is where Eunhee developed the brunt of her cutthroat attitude. She was already a little hard hearted due to lack of attention and love from her parents, but seeing just how intense and difficult training could be only heightened that. If you were a trainee that she liked or didn’t pose a threat to her debut, you were okay in her book. The others? Not so much. She fought tooth and nail to get her spot in Wish, and a few other trainees grew to not like her. She would put on the best possible act for trainers and other BC employees, but not so much to her peers. Did she care? Not really. She was there to become an idol, not make friends.

She trained for nearly six years before she finally debuted as a member of Wish. As a whole, Eunhee enjoyed being an idol and loved performing. There was nothing better to her than receiving so much love and positive energy; not to mention, the attention she received. Being the leader and main vocalist of Wish came with a lot of perks and being apart of the biggest girl group in the country opened so many doors for her in more ways than she ever could have imagined. She got plenty of opportunities to get her name and face out there, to build up a brand of her own away from Wish. Almost subconsciously, she found herself going above and beyond to outshine her group members. She firmly believes that as the main vocalist, she’s the best singer in the group and, as she would put it, ‘the voice of Wish’.

The more successful Wish became, the hungrier for fame Eunhee became. She wanted more, and she never hesitated to ask BC for more. That was how she was introduced to what became her second love; acting. She wasn’t trained in acting, but with Wish’s popularity, she received love calls from different production companies. At first, Wish’s management team were hesitant to allow her to go for the role in the drama ‘Evergreen’. It wasn’t uncommon for most idols who tried to cross over into acting to be met with a lot of criticism and wariness. A lot of people assumed that idols only received acting roles because of their popularity, and that them being cast in dramas and films only led to real actors and actress being denied opportunities. 

In the beginning, all of those worries fell on deaf ears for Eunhee. She was determined to do it. Just like she did with her idol training, she put as much effort as she could into preparing for the role and her audition. Whenever she wasn’t busy with Wish, she was working with an acting coach. An acting coach that she hired with her own money, of course. Behind the backs of BC’s team, because she didn’t want them involved and she wasn’t sure if they would even allow her to seek someone out on her own accord. 

The acting sessions turned out to be helpful. She was by no means a magnificent actress, but she wasn’t terrible either. She was just good enough to land a supporting role in the drama. Of course once it was announced that she would be making her acting debut, she didn’t receive as much support as she would have thought. She assumed that she would at least have Wishing Wells as her support, but as it turned out, many of them were against her pursuing an acting career. They didn’t want her to focus on anything other than Wish, which was upsetting, to say the least. It did throw her off a little, seeing so many people against her solo endeavors. It didn’t help that she was met with quite a bit of covered hostility her first few days on the set. The other actors and crew people weren’t necessarily mean, but she could feel the distance and slight coldness between them, which took some time to blow over. 

By the end of filming for ‘Evergreen’, Eunhee discovered that she liked acting. Not just liked, but loved. Being able to step into the shoes of someone else, even if that person is fictional, appealed to her creativity. She could take a character and interpret it in her own way, which was a plus side to acting. Being an idol didn’t allow nearly as much free will. The reactions to her acting debut were rather lukewarm. Some people praised her for being better than they thought she would be, while most said that her talent fell far below the acting abilities of her cast members. 

Those were the comments that got to her the most. Eunhee liked to consider herself to be rather confident in her abilities and uncaring of the opinions of others, but she knew deep down that was not the case. She craved acceptance, approval and attention; three things that she never got from her mother and father. 

So she kept working on her acting. Trying to improve her skills more and more. When she received the opportunity to audition for another supporting role in another drama in 2019, she jumped at the chance. It was her time to prove herself as an actress. She didn’t want to be seen as one dimensional. She wanted people to see that with her second drama. Even though the second time around wasn’t much better than the first, she did receive a few more praises than the last time she tried acting, which she took as a good sign to keep pushing forward with that career path.

Unfortunately with her being so wrapped up in her schedules for Wish, she can rarely find the time to pursue other avenues. But will that stop her from pushing for her own solo work? Definitely not.

Despite her shortcomings, Eunhee is a VERY good friend. Loyal as all hell. And she loves her members to pieces, even though she tries to upstage them. 

Fun Facts!!

Hates the fact that Wish are attacked for lipsyncing when literally every other group in the industry has lipsynced at some point in time and will at some point in time in the future. Because of that, she’s very aggressive when it comes to Wish’s performances. She’ll make the members sing their songs while performing the choreography over and over again so they’ll learn how to pace their breath and build up stamina to sing live. Has definitely gotten into arguments with some Wish members because of this.

She loves to cook and bake!! Let her fatten your muses up

Out of the closet nerd. She loves anime and comics and all that good shit and she’s not afraid to admit it

A huuuuge supporter of the LGBTQA+ (as well as a member of it). Definitely the one who suggests LGBTQA+ literature and movies on vlive. 

Can be lowkey crude, although it’s not really like?? outwardly crude. The type to make dirty jokes that people don’t pick up on as being dirty until a few seconds after the fact.

She cried when she had to get her hair cut for her first drama role lol 

[trishvaylar]

Just two days ago it was three years since my grandmother died, my Mother's Mother. She was 97 years old at the time, I had known and loved her all my life, and not a day goes by when I do not miss her. It is like toothache, not very strong, but constant, the ache of the soul. No painkillees have even been invented from that pain.

Just now I read a short story of a man, who saw his 12 year old son wound his Mother so much, she began to cry. The man decided not to intervene, but in a week's time he went to his son and said, "come with me for a walk, there is something of great importance I need to talk with you about". At first they were silent, and the boy sensed it was going to be important. So the Father asked for his son's advice, he told him a story of falling in love with a girl, marrying her and promising never to allow anyone to hurt her; but now his own son hurt her; "so what should I do in this situation?", one man asked another. The boy considered for a while and said, "panish me", but the Father explained that, now there are two men in the family, they must protect their woman together. They shook hands, sealing this male alliance, which they will keep to themselves. And I know that this boy would never again hurt his Mother or his Woman, his future Wife, or his Daughter, because he is a Man, and Men do not do that. An important lesson for a 12 year old.

I had a similar character forming story in my childhood. I was also about that age, 11-12, preteen. Non yet a teenager, but no a child anymore. My cousin lived with us. My parents bought two different sets of coloured pencils and I wanted them both. My Dad said, one for each. But they were different, and I wanted them. My Dad was obviously dissapointed by my childish greedyness, but he did not yell at me, or punished me, he just took my hand, lead me to the bathroom, locked the door, and said to me, that I was named after his Mother, who died six years before I was born. That she raised six children, four daughters, two sons, during and after the Second World War, that she managed to save them all, and she was the most generous person he ever knew. That she taught her children to be generous as well, and that her memory, her name should not be tarnished by my greed, as I was named after her, and that day my conduct made him feel ashamed; this is when I started to cry, out of shame, and guilt, I sensed I failed both my Dad and my Grandmother, and I vowed that day to never do that again. I shared the pencils from my set with my cousin, he shared with me, and I never forgot that lesson my Dad gave me, forever extinguishing any greed or even envy out of his Daughter's character. That also taught me that shouting and punishment do not teach children, they will more likely then not force the child into lying, having secrets, just to avoid punishment, and that means death to the potential trust between Parent and child.

I knew that day that only my Father could have given me that lesson.

My Granny, who died three years ago, read to me when I was a child. I love reading, telling stories, and I chose the field of teaching and social work.

I do believe wholeheartedly that love and kindness could be cultivated by love and kindness, although I do know it doesn't always work as it should. Humans are complex creatures.

I miss all my beloved people who passed away, but I remember the lessons, the kindness, the nourture, and I am more greatful to them then I could ever express or have a hope to repay. Only by raising my own children/child could I ever hope to accomplish as much.

❤

#personal #family #life lessons #love #memory

[lostsoulaltair]

Owari no Seraph. Special Analsys for Hiragi Mahiru - Part II

Yesterday I started updating again, likewise, I posted an analysis of Mahiru’s actions related towards chapter 97 but, likewise, people have different opinions and that’s alright, but well, I’d like to reply to the post of a person that was kind enough to give its respective opinion; as for that, I do have answers for the actions Mahiru did in the past; therefore, let’s begin!

Before starting to reply said post which is something I’ve seen with other people that share the same ideas, let’s first recall what was Mahiru’s vision back in the LNs along the criteria that is often thought about Mahiru:

Mahiru manipulated Guren  (Wrong)

First of all, Mahiru and Guren didn’t meet as a random thing; their meeting was elaborated by Rigr Stafford; at that time, Mahiru and Guren were 5 years old; back in the day, Mahiru’s mother was murdered by Tenri’s orders; which made Mahiru leave the Hiragi household; what she wouldn’t expect was to meet a young boy around her age.

(This is taken from Catastrophe LNs and World Resurrection LNs)

The young girl didn’t reveal information about her since she wanted for once be a normal girl, she called herself a fairy of the forest; of course Guren didn’t believe such thing but nevertheless, both enjoyed each other company; said happiness wouldn’t last forever, since the Hiragi Family found Mahiru and of course, that leads us to the scene on which Guren is beated

According to the Official LNs of the World Resurrection at 19; Rigr planned those two to meet each other; he wanted to keep removing the power within the Hiragi household but what he didn’t expect was that Guren Ichinose and Mahiru Hiragi would fall in love with each other.

After Mahiru was taken back, Guren kept on with his training which is something Mahiru did as well until the promised day came, they met back back when they were in highschool.

Back in the LN Vol 3, Mahiru made a phone call for Guren, on which she begged him to kill her; Guren of course, having the same feelings towards hers wants to know why Mahiru is doing all of the activities she did back in the Catastrophe; Guren eventually reaches a building; said building had a diary. Such diary was Mahiru’s diary.

Such diary had information about her and Shinoa such as the events we saw in the latest chapter whcih focused on the Hiragi sisters; Guren learnt that Mahiru and Shinoa were born as guinea pigs, they were the only ones that remained alive and healthy, eventually said experiment was stopped due to the cost it carried.

Though, new experiments started and this is due to the fact, Mahiru one day had a dream, a dark dream; she was in an endless darkness and was constantly interrogated by an Oni or a Demon. Said dream was shared with Shinoa; which is exactly the events of chapter 97; Mahiru warned Shinoa to not tell anyone about it, and of course, in order to make Shinoa endure all the torture methods they could do, Mahiru managed to erase Shinoa’s memories in order to make her a person without emotions.

Due to this, Shinoa ended up forgetting many things, and eventually Mahiru ended up removing Shinoa’s demon and took it within her; which is also stated in the diary she left for Guren back when she had more control over herself.

Mahiru’s contradiction (wrong)

Another point a user along and friend of mine that has been doubtful  pointed out, was that why Mahiru cared if in chapter 57 Mahiru was encouraging Shinoa to open up her heart a bit more so she could see her again:

(Image taken from Official Translation of chapter 56)

Back then, Mahiru didn’t know what monster was exactly possessing her sister, Mahiru believed Shinoa could take down her demon after so many years passed, after the experiments no longer existed, but, now, you might wonder how she wasn’t able to recognize how dangerous was Shinoa’s demon if she took it within her.

For this, there’s an explanation; Shikama Doji is capable of only displaying himself as a scythe, in the catastrophe, he was tied to Tenri Hiragi, he wasn’t tied to a contract until the cursed gears existed; Mahiru used Shikama Doji when she went to meet up the Queen and eventually made Guren to return it to Shinoa; but, the sole issue is, that Shikama is known for being a liar along being someone who’s able to have control over its own manifestation as seen in chapter 72

(Image taken from Official Translation of chapter 72)

Within that arc, Guren and Mahiru were aware a monster was roaming free, a monster trying to possess the Hiragi Family, but here comes the issue, they believed that whoever controlled fate and the Hiragi Family, was a monster that came directly from Tenri, instead of having suspiciousness of being the same monster residing within Shinoa:

(Image taken from Official Translation of chapter 72)

Within those moments, Shinoa was ambiguous and didn’t reveal whenever the monster was the same as the one possessing Tenri or Kureto, but rather, gave an idea that she was fending against that thing for so long, when in reality, the monster has been the one she was born to; and that revelation occured when Yu was in danger

(Image taken from Official Translation of chapter 74)

At that very moment, Guren realized who they were fighting, and, by obvious reasons, Mahiru as well, which that’d explain that Mahiru didn’t know Shikama Doji’s real appearance but then again, how can I state that?

That’s very simple:

(Image taken from Official Translation of chapter 71)

Mahiru found out thanks to being a demon, who was the monster that always tried to prey within them, but well, things went south with Shinoa, she got possessed but eventually was saved.

Mahiru murdered Guren’s friends out of anger (Wrong)

It is believe that Mahiru enjoyed the chase of the cat and the mouse with Guren and his squad along Kureto, this is wrong; she was delaying everything; back in the Catastrophe, she was keeping two demons within her, which were corrupting her and taking away her humanity faster; she couldn’t withstand the intensity of having two demons within her since she could hear the voices from them; but, at the same time, she remembered what was she fighting for; she was often seen as a person with hurry but in fact, she was desperately trying to make or set things in order to keep her two loved persons alive, them being Guren and Shinoa.

After she became a vampire, the contract with Shikama Doji and Asuramaru was broken, her heart was no longer human, and the cursed gears were like poison to her and the final race was beginning.

While I understand why people get angry about her for killing Guren’s squad, there’s a reason for that.

Have you forgotten that Tenri Hiragi was alive at those moments?

If Mahiru didn’t kill Guren’s friends, they wouldn’t have been saved in any possible way, how can I state that?

Tenri’s goal was to follow up the orders of the First Progenitor; and he’d always neutralize whoever was a nusiance or in this case, he’d have gotten rid of the people who didn’t serve any longer; Mahiru would have been dead still but in the case Guren’s friends didn’t die, Tenri would have personally killed them without mercy, and thus, Guren wouldn’t have been able to even bring them back.

You might ask or wonder how I can state such things and this is due to the fact, that in the Final Volume of the Catastrophe, Kureto had a conversation with Tenri Hiragi; Kureto learnt that Tenri was behind everything along the fact that he used Shinoa as a hostage so Mahiru couldn’t refuse or do the opposite of what she wished to do; so Mahiru did her best to fool Tenri along the Hyakuya Sect without having Shinoa getting killed.

Within this, it doesn’t mean her actions are well seen, nor it’s something that readers enjoy, myself included, but, if she didn’t do such things, there wouldn’t be even a story in the first place; if Mahiru didn’t protect Shinoa, Shinoa would either have been dead or would have been submitted to worser experiments until they were able to trigger her demon within the process.

The experiments of the Hyakuya Sect and Mahiru were part of a deal; the Hyakuya Sect which was under Rigr Stafford’s care had its own goals, Mahiru only aimed to use Rigr’s personal ambition and goal to actually use it in benefit for humanity in order to make humanity get rid of the curse.

Along this, it is to state that she never enjoyed children experimentation; back when she visited Yu, she was angry by the fact on how he was experimented upon; which is why, when she saw him, she told him he had the right to live along finding a reason to live.

For now, this will be the second part of her character analysis. Mahiru is a complex character that hides too well her emotions but in reality, Mahiru was afraid, she had to face the world alone, she was gifted but instead of being like Tenri, she aimed to break the ties she had with them, she tried to bring some sort of salvation to new generations to come along the fact she entrusted many things to Guren.

Guren’s decision to stand next to her or follow her wasn’t due to manipulation or the sorts, Mahiru was dwelling between demon and her own persona. Within this, a decision was eventually taken, Guren wanted to learn and be next to her and fight with her.

Guren might be seen as an evil character but he’s an anti-hero, he’s doing what it’s possible to bring back what was lost, to actually defeat and get over the curse the First settled within the world. And for that, even if it was inmoral, he required the help of the boys that were experimented upon long ago.

Therefore, I can only say that, despite being portrayed as an evil character, Mahiru did many inmoral things in order to give at least hope to humanity to fight back agains the cruel destiny that was settled in by the First.

[thisyearingaming]

1997 - This Year in Gaming

Muggins here was born in ‘97, and can’t really remember much of it, natch. But there were some good things released this year - I’ve played every one of these, and have missed so many more.

Diablo - Windows, January 3rd

We start with dungeon-crawl-em-up and well-loved out of season April Fool’s Joke, Diablo. I’ll be totally honest - I don’t like Diablo that much. It’s absolutely fine, I just can’t get into it. The writing, setting and characters are all very good especially since this year only marks the beginning of games being seen as a bit more adult and intelligent. Check out this gameplay from Hour of Oblivion on YouTube, and marvel at the faux-Scottish accent on Griswold the blacksmith.

Mario Kart 64 - Nintendo 64, February 10th

Compared to its more recent versions, Mario Kart 64 is a veritable bloody relic of the past - solid controls and a quirky style mean it’s still a crowd pleaser to this day, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone right now that would die on the hill of it being their favourite single-player racing experience. It’s also got some of the deepest, impenetrable lore in any medium known to the human race - why exactly is Marty the Thwomp locked up here?

Blast Corps - Nintendo 64, February 28th

February’s position as most boring month of the year is shaken up a bit by having a uniquely designed Rare game slammed into its 28-day long face. Blast Corps is the puzzle-action game where you take control of several vehicles to destroy homes and buildings in order to prevent a nuclear warhead exploding in the coolest incarnation of Cold War politicking ever seen in a video game. Calling Blast Corps a “hidden gem” these days is like calling Celeste a hidden gem - it impresses nobody and makes you look like a dick. 

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter - Nintendo 64, March 4th 

The N64 was home to a surprisingly large number of above-average shooters despite its muddy graphics and small cartridge space - Turok is one of these, a great FPS game where you shoot the SHIT out of dinosaurs. Brett Atwood of Billboard said it was like Doom and Tomb Raider mixed - Doom Raider, if you will. I say it isn’t - there’s no demons, and there’s no polygonal breasts to poke dinosaurs’ eyes out with! 

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - Sony PlayStation, March 20th

What is a retrospective? A miserable little pile of opinions. I’ve only recently played through SotN for the very first time on a TOTALLY LEGITIMATE copy with a CRT filter. Bloody good (geddit?) game, that takes the repetition of its predecessors, improves on it in basically every conceivable way, and combines it with special effects and graphics that even 23 years later had me going “ooh, that looks quite good!” Symphony’s music and audio design are wonderfully paired with a deeply enjoyable experience that’ll have you saying “mm, maybe just one more room?”

Tekken 3 - Sony PlayStation, March 20th

Also releasing from the Land of the Rising Sun that day was Tekken 3, which many believe is still one of the best fighters ever made. Tekken 3′s combat is so fast and responsive that it’s better than some games made today. T3 is also the best and easiest way to knock seven shades of absolute shite out of your friends without risking a massive head injury or a trip to the headmaster’s office... where you could also challenge him, but only if he plays as my favourite Not-Guile-or-Ken character in gaming, Paul. 

Sonic Jam - Sega Saturn, June 20th

The moment Sega realised that re-packaging old Mega Drive games would net them serious cash - although unlike later collections, this is a strictly Sonic affair, and has a neat little 3D world to run around in as a sort of hub world. Sonic X-Treme proved that Sonic Team would have to work hard at getting the fastest thing alive into 3D space properly: Jam is the sort of test ground for it too. It features some genuinely good emulation work for 1997, although it’s basically the gaming equivalent of going round to your grandparents at Christmas only for them to give you the exact same gifts you got in 1991, 1992 and 1994 but wrapped in a bow to make you think it’s different. What are you lookin’ at, you little blue devil?

Star Fox 64 - Nintendo 64, June 30th

So there’s this German company, right, called StarVox. Nintendo look at Europe and say “shit, we don’t want another lawsuit... after all, we’ve done three this year!”. So they give us in the PAL region the exciting title of Lylat Wars which as far as I know means absolutely fucking nothing in the context of the game. They’re still called Star Fox in-game too so what was the point? Anyway, fun 3D shooter with graphics that’ll make you do a barrel roll off the sofa and onto the power button to make the brown and green blurs a little easier on the eyes. Hello 2007, I’ve come back to make old references with you!

Carmageddon - Windows, July 30th

The game so scary it was BANNED in the UK! More like the game so fucking shit it was banned. Carmageddon is so deeply boring to play on PC that I can only imagine that Stainless Games made it tasteless by 90s standards simply to ramp up demand - much like another game we’ll be covering soon. 

Herc’s Adventures - Sony PlayStation, July 31st

“And they said Kratos was the best hero? Shish... they got it wrong, sister! Hercules is clearly better... he even has a coconut weapon.” A surprisingly fun overhead action game that most people only know for... well, I’ll just embed it.

Mega Man X4 - Sony Playstation, August 1st

A few years ago I tried playing every Mega Man game there is - I gave up at X3 because I was getting bored. Even still, Mega Man bores me - but at least the level design is good. Stay away from the Windows port. Pictured: me in the background yawning.

GoldenEye 007 - Nintendo 64, August 25th 

The name’s Intro. Overused intro which I also managed to fuck up twice through the deeply editable medium of text. GoldenEye is like the Seinfeld of console shooters - playing it nowadays you’re unlikely to be amazed but holy shit there’s some absolute greatness in this game. Every sound and every piece of music in GoldenEye is permanently seared into my brain - sometimes I’ll just hear Facility or Frigate in my head alongside the door opening sound and the gentle PEW of the PP7. I mean come on, fucking listen to this and tell me Grant Kirkhope isn’t cool as all hell.

LEGO Island - Windows, September 26th

The first open world experience I ever had was LEGO Island. It’s still quite good today, utterly deranged animation from the likes of the Infomaniac and Brickster - a cautionary tale for children that giving pizza to high-profile criminals is disastrous for the human LEGO race. 

Fallout - Windows, October 10th

War never changes, but franchises do. Fallout’s legendary status in the industry is exemplified in how different it feels. Yes, we had the game Wasteland nine years prior, but until September 97 there was nothing quite like Fallout. From the chilling introduction sequence showing the ruins of the United States to the tragic ending, Fallout is an exercise in pure human misery with the brightest spots of hope it can possibly muster thrown in for good measure. What begins as a tedious isometric point-and-click RPG ends as a minigun-wielding power fantasy, before your entire worth is stripped from you at the finish line. You have 500 days to find a water chip before it’s too late, but you’re constantly being fought by terrifying Super Mutants, irradiated animals, and the biggest monster of all - humanity. See what I did there? If anything, humanity in Fallout’s setting would be the greatest unifying force possible against the horror of the outside world. But how is it? It’s dull, it’s sluggish, and it’s really hard to get into even if you’re already a fan - but push through that and it’s worthwhile to see exactly how far the series got before Todd Howard said “eh fuck it” and had the whole thing dipped into an FEV vat.

Grand Theft Auto - Sony PlayStation, October 21st

To put it simply, the first in the GTA series is now nothing but a novelty. It has an irritating camera, wonky controls, poor graphics and deeply repetitive gameplay. But thank fuck it exists, because without it the Rockstar story may have been very different indeed. It’s quintessential cops and robbers gameplay, spanning across Liberty City, Vice City and San Andreas in one game, but with maps so far removed from their modern incarnations they may as well be named “Not New York, Possibly Bristol and Orange Town”. People really fucking hated Hare Krishnas in the 20th Century, didn’t they?

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back - Sony PlayStation, October 31

A hard one to talk about, honestly - it’s more Crash and better than the first one. It looks great, and Crash controls so well compared to his first outing. It’ll also keep you playing for 100%, fiendishly addictive and unashamedly difficult. Had a weird cover that moved with your head. 

PaRappa the Rapper - Sony PlayStation, November 17th

Type type type the words into the box! (Type, type, type - uh oh - the box?)

PaRappa is a gorgeously stylised rhythm game about rapping to steal the heart of the girl of your dreams - which involves learning karate, getting your driver’s license, selling bottle caps and frogs, making a cake, desperately trying not to shit yourself, and finally performing live on stage. Every one of its segments is so well-produced that they’d genuinely sell like ghost cookies in this era of shite rap. Notable for producing the greatest Jay-Z backing track ever made.

Sonic R - Sega Saturn, November 18th

Sonic R is absolutely FINE with vibrant textures, interesting levels, neat gimmicks and decent controls. But I’m gonna talk about its fucking AWESOME soundtrack by Richard Jacques and T.J. Davis, an eclectic mix of Europop and New Jack Swing - even thinking about it is bringing tears of absolute joy to my eyes hearing Super Sonic Racing in my head. You’ve got the main theme, Living in the City, Can You Feel the Sunshine, Back in Time, Diamond in the Sky, Work It Out and Number One - all of these are absolute club bangers and genuinely wouldn’t be out of place in a 90s disco. 

Tomb Raider II - Sony PlayStation, November 18th

Lara Croft returns to single-handedly endanger every species on Earth. TR2 is really good, the exploration and puzzle-solving aspects of the first game expanded upon here and the gunplay remaining just as punchy. Lara’s got a fully-functioning ponytail which absolutely boggles the fucking mind - a lot of work went into Lara’s hair for the 2013 reboot, so I can’t imagine the amount of man hours it took to get fluid(ish, come on, it’s the PS1 we’re talking about) hair movements in 1997. 

And really, that’s all I played from 1997. I’ve left out big hitters like Quake II, Gran Turismo and Diddy Kong Racing, but I simply haven’t formed an opinion on them yet. Maybe in a future post. 

Thanks for reading.

[bongaboi]

Liverpool: 2019-20 Premier League Champions

30 years of hope: my life as an ardent Liverpool fan

After three decades of near misses, slips and tears, the Merseyside team’s wait for another league title is nearly over. So what does it mean to a scouser and lifelong fan?

by Hannah Jane Parkinson

I am three years old in the photograph, hugging a plastic, flyaway football. I am seven, arriving tentatively for my first training session at a local girls’ club. I am bounding back to my mother’s car, blowing hot breath on cold hands, beaming, the salt from the artificial turf embedded in the soles of my trainers.

I am eight and glued to the television, watching teen wunderkind and my Liverpool hero, Michael Owen, score the perfect goal against Argentina in World Cup 98.

I am nine. I give up one of the few days I have to visit my father to attend my first ever match at Anfield, Liverpool FC’s famous stadium. A week later, my father dies. These two events are inextricably linked in my mind, and the guilt continues to whichever day you are reading this.

I am 10 and make my first appearance in print in a feature for the local paper, the Liverpool Echo, about girls getting into football. I am quoted as saying that all my sister cares about is boys and fashion.

Twelve years old and the fuzzy letters of “Parkinson” on the back of my shirt arch down my shoulder blades.

I am 13. Our team, known as Liverpool Feds, are approached by Liverpool FC to become their official girls’ outfit. We visit Melwood, the first team’s training ground. The full-size goals loom like scaffolding.

I am 14. My hero, Owen, makes the same move to Real Madrid that Steve McManaman made five years before him. This breaks my heart. Suddenly, all I care about is boys and fashion. Without really making a decision, I give up football. Cold winter nights are spent inside on the sofa watching Sex and the City. I discover live music and MySpace.

I am 15. I own the entire range of Clearasil products. A group of my schoolfriends and I take a night off GCSE revision to watch the 2005 European Champions League final in Istanbul; the first the club has reached since the mid-80s, and so it is forbidden not to watch. Liverpool are losing by three goals at half time. A lost cause. Minds wander to the second biology paper… But wait. Liverpool pull back to 3-3. And win on penalties. Pandemonium. We join the throng in the streets; the blaring car horns; the beer jumping, like salmon, from pint glasses; the embrace of strangers; the straining vocal cords.

I am 18 and living in Russia, watching games on my first-generation smartphone via a 2G internet connection. Each time a player goes through on goal the signal drops to endless buffering. Liverpool finish second in the league, four points behind bitter rivals Manchester United.

I am 26, we are bearing down on the title. Steven Gerrard in an impromptu on-pitch team talk, after a crucial win against the newly flush Manchester City, shouts hoarsely at his players: “This does not fucking slip now!” The next home game, Gerrard – one of the best players the club has ever seen, captain, scouser, Liverpool FC lifer – literally slips on the turf against Chelsea to concede a goal. We lose. Manchester City finish top of the league by two points.

I am 29. I am in Cuba, where the internet is heavily censored. But I manage to watch the last game of the season, which will be decisive. Liverpool finish the league with 97 points; the highest points tally ever for a team that doesn’t win the title. City win again. With 98 points. Liverpool do, however, win the Champions League – for the sixth time – after scoring four goals in a sublime semi-final comeback against Barcelona. The injured Mohamed Salah, watching on the bench, wears a T-shirt bearing the slogan “Never Give Up”. The T-shirt sells out.

I am 30. I have never witnessed my beloved Liverpool FC lift the title. Two months from now, this is going to change. As I write Liverpool have a 22-point lead at the top of the table. Of 84 points available this season, they have taken 79. Next Monday is the derby against Everton.

I want to untangle what this will mean to me – the fan who met Steven Gerrard a couple of years ago, grinning like a child; the fan who, two weeks ago, was unbelievably touched when current star Trent Alexander-Arnold recorded a video message to cheer her up during a bad time. What it means to other fans: those who witnessed the dominance of the 1980s, and the younger ones who have known only disappointment. And what it means, too, for the future of the area of Anfield itself.

It’s late February in the Flat Iron pub, one of the many dotted around Anfield. Steve Dodd, who is 49, is with his friends Dan Wynn, 26, and Gerrard Noble, 47. All from Somerset, they are having a pre-match drink before the home game against West Ham. Steve talks of the current Jürgen Klopp-assembled side as the best Liverpool side he thinks he’s ever seen.

The friends have been scouring the internet for places to stay in the city for the last home fixture of the season, but to no avail. “Rooms are going for £400 a night,” Gerrard says, his eyes widening. He and Steve are allowing themselves to get excited, but Dan, who like me has yet to experience a league title win, looks anxious and rubs his thighs. “No,” he says, “I don’t want to jinx it. Though I’ve been kicked out of various WhatsApp groups for being smug about all the results.” Steve tells me they weren’t prepared for it, this three-decade-long wait: “I just thought we’d go on winning.”

We talk about how important it is that Klopp’s politics match the club: Liverpool is a leftwing city; Liverpool is a leftwing club. At the last election, Labour retained all of its 14 MPs on Merseyside. The city has never forgiven the Tories for former chancellor Geoffrey Howe’s strategy of “managed decline”. Thatcher is a hated figure. But so is Derek Hatton, the former city council deputy leader and member of the Marxist group Militant. Last month, Italy’s rightwing politician Matteo Salvini was forced to deny that he had pulled out of a visit to Liverpool after the metropolitan region’s mayor called him a “fascist”. During several games last year, chants rang out for Jeremy Corbyn. The current prime minister conspicuously avoids visiting. As Gareth Robertson, who is a part of the immensely popular The Anfield Wrap podcast, with more than 200,000 weekly downloads in 200 countries, puts it to me: “Not only do we want a good football coach, we expect almost a political leader, someone who gets us, and our city, its values.” Humorously, there have been petitions for Liverpool to become a self-determined scouse state, and “Scouse not English” is a frequent terrace chant.

The club has a mantra: “This means more.” It pisses off other teams and is, understandably, dismissed as marketing speak. But isn’t it true? Isn’t the 127-year-old club what people think of when anyone, anywhere in the world, mentions “Liverpool”? The famous football team that plays in red – allowing for the Beatles, of course.

The city has another team, the blue of Everton. I have nothing against Everton. I consider Everton fellow scousers and too little a threat to focus animosity towards. In a way, the clubs are unruly siblings; we love and scrap in equal measure. Totally different personalities, but born of the same streets.

Four years ago, a man named Jürgen Klopp arrived on these streets. Or more accurately, he arrived in the suburb of Formby, renting the house from his managerial predecessor, Brendan Rodgers. Klopp is the football manager that even non-football fans like. He’s Ludovico Einaudi, seducing those previously uninterested in classical music. He is a man of principle; a baseball cap permanently affixed to his head, as though at any point he might be required to step up to the plate on a blindingly sunny day. Perhaps for the Boston Red Sox, owned by Liverpool FC’s American proprietor, John W Henry.

Klopp is erudite. He is proudly anti-Brexit in a city that voted 58% Remain. “For me, Brexit makes no sense at all,” he has said. He is a socialist: “I am on the left … I believe in the welfare state. I’m not privately insured. I would never vote for a party because they promised to lower the top tax rate. If there’s something I will never do in my life it is vote for the right.” He grew up in a humble village in Germany’s Black Forest, and it shows. There’s a saying in the region: “the hair in the soup”. It means focusing on even the tiniest things that can be improved.

He has the good looks of one of my favourite 1960s Russian film stars, Aleksandr Demyanenko. He hugs his players as though they were the loves of his life and he might never see them again. Journalists like him for his press-conference banter as well as his eloquence. He visits children in hospitals. He is funny. When Mario Götze, one of his star players at former club Borussia Dortmund, left for Pep Guardiola’s Bayern Munich, his explanation was: “He’s leaving because he’s Guardiola’s favourite. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I can’t make myself shorter and learn Spanish.”

Liverpool have had many famous managers, of course. Bill Shankly (there’s a statue of him outside the ground); Bob Paisley (ditto); Kenny Dalglish. But Klopp is already being talked of as one of the best ever.

Liverpool the city has evolved from its shamefully prominent role in the slave trade – in common with other major British ports – to a place with a diverse population and a well-won reputation for being friendly and welcoming. But the tragedy and scandal of Hillsborough, in which 96 fans were crushed to death in 1989 at Sheffield Wednesday’s ground, is etched into the nation’s sporting history, and its social justice record. After a 27-year-long battle to clear the names of the Liverpool fans whose reputations were smeared, after inquests that lasted two years – the longest case heard by a jury in British legal history – a verdict of unlawful killing was returned. But, as Margaret Aspinall of the indefatigable Hillsborough Family Support Group pointed out, after David Duckenfield, police commander at the ground, was cleared of manslaughter last year, no one has yet been found accountable for those killings.

The Sun, which categorically did not report “The Truth”, as the infamous headline went, but was found to have published untruths that blamed Liverpool fans for the disaster, is a red-top pariah here. The paper is the bestselling national in print, but shifts a measly 12,000 or so copies on Merseyside. A branch of Sainsbury’s was once found to be selling copies under the counter, as though they were counterfeit cigarettes. It’s a boycott that has lasted longer than many marriages.

The socially progressive values of the club extend to it supporting an end to period poverty – free sanitary products are available in every women’s loo at Anfield. Last month, the Reds Going Green initiative saw the installation of organic machines to break down food waste into water. The club even has its own allotment, which grows food to serve to fans in the main stand. It was the first Premier League club to be officially involved with an LGBT Pride event in 2012, at the invitation of Paul Amann. Amann tells me how he set up the LGBT supporters group, Kop Outs, because: “It’s essential that our voices are heard, our presence is welcomed and respected.” The group works alongside the Spirit of Shankly supporters’ group and the Fans Supporting Foodbanks initiative and has regular meet-ups. These things mean something to me: a football fan as a girl, and now as a woman. A woman who dates other women. A woman who doesn’t want to hear homophobic chants on the terraces. Or, it goes without saying, racist ones. Jamie Carragher, ex-player and pundit, has apologised on behalf of the club for its backing of striker Luis Suárez, who was banned from playing for eight matches in 2011 for making racist comments. “We made a massive mistake,” Carragher said. “What message do you send to the world? Supporting someone being banned because he used some racist words.”

Back on the pitch, some of this season’s performances have been, quite simply, balletic. Others as powerful and muscular as a weightlifting competition. Formations as beautiful as constellations. Forward surges as though our fullbacks were plugged into the mains. Possibly the best fullbacks playing today: 21-year-old local lad Trent Alexander-Arnold (known just as Trent) and the fiery Scot Andy Robertson (Robbo) are spoken about by pundits as innovators. Gary Lineker and I text, rapturously, about the two of them.

For a football team to be consistent, for a team to win the league, it must be capable of winning in many different ways. The aesthetically pleasing playing out from the back. Lightning counter-attacks. Scraping 1-0 wins in the final minutes (and, particularly at the start of this season, we have done a lot of that. It’s something Manchester United used to do in their 90s pomp, and naturally, I hated them for it). Mindful of the trauma of The Slip, the agreed club line is “one game at a time”, said again and again, as another scouse son, Pete Burns, once sang: “like a record baby, right round, round, round… ” And my God, how many of those we’ve smashed. The current side is the first in England to hold an international treble (the Champions League; Uefa Super Cup; Fifa Club World Cup). We have not lost a home game for almost two calendar years. Shortly, we’ll no doubt break the record for the earliest title win during a season; the most points across Europe’s top five leagues.

It is, even to the neutral, extraordinary stuff. It is, even to the haters, albeit grudgingly, extraordinary stuff. In 2016, one of the greatest stories of modern football was the previously mediocre Leicester City winning a surprise title. Liverpool’s dominance this season surpasses that for drama. It is watching history in the present.

Being at a game at Anfield is like being high while ingesting nothing. The stands seem to have lungs. Though You’ll Never Walk Alone has become supremely emotional, an anthem for strength and perseverance post-Hillsborough (��walk on through the wind / walk on through the rain”) it’s a song originally from the musical Carousel. It was a standout 1963 cover version by Liverpudlian band Gerry and the Pacemakers that kicked off its adoption at Anfield. “It’s got a lot of lovely major-to-minor changes at often unexpected moments that have the effect of emotionally blindsiding you,” music journalist Pete Paphides says (although he’s a United fan, so feel free to discount everything he tells me). “But it’s also obviously very hymnal, with a chorus which invites that religious ambiguity. It was Aretha Franklin’s version that John Peel played after Hillsborough and rendered himself incapable of carrying on by virtue of doing so.”

Anfield has always been something special; players from countless teams often talk of it being the greatest ground they have ever played at. Or the most intimidating. Or the most electric. But of late, there’s an extra buoyancy. The crowd salivates.

Watching the game against West Ham, we take the lead within 10 minutes, but they quickly equalise, before going ahead. We score twice more. It is our 21st consecutive home win, setting a Premier League-era record. At the end of the game, Klopp and his players applaud the Kop end, fans’ eyes glistening with both emotion and wind chill (“walk on, through the wind… ”)

Adjacent to the stadium at the redbrick Albert pub, Clara, Tom, John – all in their 20s, students, and local – and John’s dad, David, who is 53, are cheering the last-ditch win. I repeat what I asked Steve and his friends: just how excited should we all be?

“Very fucking excited,” says John. “Very fucking excited,” Tom concurs. (Scousers use swear words as ellipses. And the speed of Liverpudlian patter matches the rat-a-tat-tat of freestyle rappers.) The Albert is floor-to-ceiling in flags; unassuming from the outside, iconic inside. Across the road at the Park – the “Established 1888” sign above its door – it is Where’s Wally? levels of rammed, entirely usual for a match day. But the mood is as disbelieving as triumphant. It hasn’t happened yet, but it already feels as though people are waiting to be shaken awake from a dream. Around the corner, posters at another fan favourite, the Sandon, advertise a huge end-of-season victory party. I grab a burger at the Kop of the Range, a kebab joint not far from a scarf stall that has seen its business rocket over the past three years.

My Uber driver, Mohamed, 35, moved to the city from Sri Lanka. A massive Salah fan, he tells me his own revenue booms when the club win a game – happier fans means higher fares. “People don’t want to spend money on a loss,” he says. “If we win, the whole mood lifts. You can feel it in the car. Though when you start driving with Uber, they tell you not to mention what football team you support. Because football means a lot to people. There are many feelings involved with football.”

It’s unsurprising to me that even back in Sri Lanka, Mohamed was a fan. Liverpool is a global behemoth. The richest club in the UK outside Manchester.

A £1.7bn valuation; £533m turnover; pre-tax profits of £42m. Matchday ticket revenues increased (thanks to a regenerated £110m main stand). Visiting the club shop, there is LFC-branded gin; babygros; even a Hello Kitty tie-in range. As Richard Haigh at consultants Brand Finance tells me, next season’s kit deal with Nike is “expected to represent the largest in history. Brands will be willing to pay to have some magic dust of LFC.” There are official stores as far afield as Dubai and Bangkok.

John W Henry has won the support of the fans for his positive handling of the club. And yet, despite this huge wealth, Anfield is the 10th most deprived neighbourhood in the country. Boarded-up houses surround the stadium. The club has not covered itself in glory in the past, accused of buying up properties in unscrupulous ways. But it is hoped that local enterprises, such as the community-run Homebaked cake shop and new housing association properties, will make the neighbourhood better.

Last week, we were knocked out of the FA Cup in a match against Chelsea. Or, as I call that fixture, Kensington versus Kensington. (In Liverpool’s “Kenny”, 98% of residents are among the most deprived 5% nationally. In London’s, residents earn three times the national average.)

In the league, there has been a blip. Last weekend we finally lost. And we lost 3-0 to, with the greatest respect, Watford; not a bad side, but a side ensconced in a relegation battle. Arsenal, who once went a whole season unbeaten (“the Invincibles”), and are keen to keep that record, tweeted from the official club account: “Phew!”

But I am not panicking. It’s possible Dan from the Flat Iron is panicking. But Klopp isn’t panicking. In typical fashion, he said the fact we played an absolutely awful game of football was “rather positive… ”

“A couple of years ago,” our hero reminds us, “I said we wanted to write our own stories and create our own history, and obviously the boys took what I said really seriously. It is so special. The numbers are incredible.” In a nod to Sir Alex Ferguson’s famous line that his greatest challenge was “knocking Liverpool right off their fucking perch”, Liverpool chief executive Peter Moore says now: “We are back on our perch.” As The Anfield Wrap’s Gareth says: “In a dream scenario, a period of dominance follows. Not so long ago that dream was just that. Now, it’s a reality that is much easier to imagine.”

Four more games. Eyes on the prize. For me, at last, 30 years in the making, eyes on the prize.