iamhereandtrying

[iamhereandtrying]

Every few weeks I go insane, open Tumblr, think about seizing the day and my life and making something of my existence and learning like 4 languages, coding and doing everything from STEM to philosophy and liberal arts and then I go to bed.

[iamhereandtrying]

Some dark academia things

textbooks filled with highlighted texts, doodles, annotations and coffee/tea stains from late night study sessions

dry roses on your desks, bookshelves and in random books which you open and discover several pressed flowers

using old cracked teacups as candle stick holders

textbooks being the only books you're not afraid to dogear

dozens of messy to-do lists, scratching the finished tasks and choosing to ignore the remaining ones because you're too busy celebrating your accomplishments

panic because you still have to do the remaining ones

finally taking a breath cuz ur to do list is completely scratched out and you can sleep peacefully

nvm you stayed up all night reading

[iamhereandtrying]

aesthetic for @minecraftburner

a cup of coffee from your favorite cafe, taking tiny sips so you don’t burn your tongue

wanting to understand the rules that govern the universe

thinking deeply about your life and what you will make of it

solving long math problems with confidence, trusting your skills

dedicating hours to your studies

staying up late to watch the stars on a clear night

working on dozens of things at once, but finding time for them all

the satisfaction of finally working out the solution to a bug in your code

fiddling with your latest robotics project, trying to get it just right

deep, rich colors, the tones of the night sky

finding your way through the streets of a foreign city

afternoons spent curled up with a novel and a warm blanket

enjoying the time you spend with your thoughts

getting excited when new photos of deep space are released

the quiet that settles over the world in the early hours of the morning

exercising your creativity whenever you have the chance

disappearing into the world of your favorite book

dreaming of seeing the world

the familiar feeling of a paintbrush in your hand

people-watching through a cafe window

posters of distant stars and galaxies on your wall

[iamhereandtrying]

“My aunt passed away many years ago. Among her belongings was an old album that she was very fond of. The album remained lost for many years, buried somewhere in a storeroom in the basement. It was found again recently during a clean-up. As a young girl growing up in a small town in 1950s and 60s, she was completely enamored by movies. Much to the disapproval of her mother, she spent her free time writing fan mail to movie stars and over a time, built up quite a collection of autographed pictures and letters.” Source

Pictured: Shammi Kapoor, 1962; Dharmendra, 1962; Kamini Kaushal, 1953; Biswajit, n.d.; Sadhana, 1964

Part 1, 2, 3

[iamhereandtrying]

Tips for creative peeps at college who aren’t studying creative fields:

Find the arts buildings on campus- go to their websites- find out resources that are available to non- arts students

Take as manny arts classes as you can manage- not being in classes catered to a specific art field that are around the 100-level ( typically classes that are required to graduate anyways) are a great way to learn about a bunch of different art fields

If you can manage to take art classes outside of your major, take them in things you’ve never worked with- I took a sculpture class as a graphic design major and it helped me tons in expanding my understanding of art and it’s place in the world

A lot of colleges will have a printing lab for arts students. These are often also open for non-arts majors!! At my printing lab they also have Wacom tablets and a bunch on tools/ printers for different projects AND they are usually staffed by art majors/ grad students who love sharing info on how to use technology

Find arts- centered clubs!!! This is one of the easiest (albeit a little daunting) ways to get connected with fellow creatives in your community. On my campus I’m on the exec team of a club centered around making an inclusive and safe space for creatives who are not cis-het white males

Use Instagram!! Find creatives that are in your community/ college town. A lot of ppl graduate with art degrees and stay in their college town. Just reach out and say “hey I love your work, how do you do x” or “how did you learn to do x”

Know that there is a community for you. No matter who you are. Be brave and find it!!!!

[iamhereandtrying]

~college~ study tips

1. study for yourself, not others. don’t study because you like to say that you spent hours studying (or don’t not study just because you want to seem naturally smart)! do what you YOU have to do and not what others expect you to do.

2. understand, don’t memorize. especially if you’re in college!! 99% of the time the professor would rather you understand why something is rather than just what it is.

3. read the textbook. even if your professor goes over the chapter in class, a lot of times they’ll slip in questions on the exam that they didn’t go over in class but were in the reading. (sneaky!!)

4. don’t wait until the end of the semester to ask for extra credit. you are 20x more likely to get it if you ask in the middle. 

5. eat in class if you have to! not sure if this qualifies as a study tip but i’m including it anyway. if you’re starving there is no way you’ll be able to pay attention in class! keep some snacks in your backpack to eat during class to keep you energized and focused! the professor most likely will not mind, but if they did, it would probably say so in the syllabus.

6. make study groups! i know a lot of people find them distracting, but maybe try to meet with a study group for every class at least one or two times a semester just to make sure you didn’t miss anything in the notes. and who knows, your group might be able to explain tricky concepts to you better than your professor can!

7. take advantage of little pockets of time. do you have 30 minutes between classes? read over your notes! waiting in line for chipotle? pull out a quizlet!! college can get BUSY and overwhelming and you may have trouble finding a large chunk of time to study, so spend the down time you do have wisely!

8. ^ that being said, take breaks! if you just walked out of an exam and you’re feeling pretty brain dead, don’t pull out your notes and study! let yourself have some time to relax before you get back into your rhythm. you don’t want to burn yourself out!

9. don’t forget that you have a final exam! after you finish a chapter exam or quiz, don’t let yourself forget all of that information, it’ll make finals 10x harder! if you have extra study time every once in a while go over some of your old notes to refresh your memory.

10. go to office hours. that’s it. that’s the tip.

11. be flexible with your study time! don’t go to the library thinking “i have to stay here and study for 8 hours for my exam tomorrow or i am a bad student” because a. that is not realistic b. you might not actually need that much time. maybe you only need 3 hours to feel prepared! maybe you are planning on 2 but you really need 4! just be flexible!

12. have a clean & clear work space. we love our decorations and 20 mason jars full of pens on our desks, but at the end of the day, if your desk isn’t functional, change it. it is much easier to focus and get stuff done when you have adequate space to do so.

13. explain concepts out loud to yourself. you may sound crazy, but this works! this helps you work out the best way to explain things for the exam (especially if the exam is in essay format), and you can easily find out how much you actually understand by doing this! just go through your notes and explain all the major concepts. i always pretend i’m a professor teaching it to students (i know it sounds crazy but it really does work).

14. make sure to bring a water bottle to your study sessions. don’t be like me and only drink coffee!! coffee is great and all but doesn’t do much for your energy if you’re dehydrated and you are more likely to crash. water is really important and will keep you energized for a longer period of time!

15. switch between classes you are studying for every hour or so. your brain cannot focus on the same thing for very long, so switching between different subjects will help stimulate it so you can study longer! 

16. NEVER write an essay the day before it’s due! i guarantee it will not be your best work, even if you believe you work better under pressure. your thoughts and ideas need time to develop, and they won’t fully develop if you do it all in one night.

17. if you hit a point in your studying where you can’t focus or learn anymore, go to bed. the information will process in your brain overnight and you will wake up the next day with all the information fresh in your brain, and you’ll feel much more awake and focused on studying. 

18. mind map!! mind mapping will help you connect all the concepts together to better understand how it should all flow.

19. don’t wait to do tasks that will only take 5 minutes. get all of these quick tasks out of the way before you get on netflix (or studyblr tbh). this will help clear up your to-do list and get you into the groove of studying without doing anything too strenuous!

20. don’t take yourself too seriously. still work hard, but remember that you are young. one bad grade on a test is not going to ruin your entire life. have fun in college and don’t stress yourself out over grades or your future too much.

[iamhereandtrying]

A Graduating Senior’s Advice to Incoming Students

By: Star McCown ‘21

As a graduating senior, I wanted to offer advice to the future generations of incoming USC students. Most of this advice is based on my past experiences, and while I’m not certain what campus events will be like when school reopens for Fall 2021, I hope that this blog post can offer some drops of wisdom that you find helpful.

Keep reading

[iamhereandtrying]

A college tip I have for you all is never assume you're going to remember anything. If you take a few seconds to understand something and once you do you think "oooh I get it now" write down the explanation for it in your own words because chances are, in a few days you'll forget why it was and you think "oh I did get it that day in class, but now I can't remember"

Basically just write your notes as if they were for someone who can't read between the lines and need everything given step by step.

Since I started doing this at around my 3rd year of college, my grades got much better.

[iamhereandtrying]

the week before college begins

The constant ticking which has been ringing in my ears is finally coming to an end this Monday. The last few weeks has been me finding healthy coping mechanisms to start college life with. I have not always been the greatest when it comes to dealing with anxiety. I would completely avoid competitions I thought I had no choice of winning. I would much rather waste an opportunity much rather risk failure. In this way, I have turned down debating and Model UN opportunities, ditched school rather than give a test I was not prepared for and lie incessantly to catch up on my schedule. Overall, the very thought of how my life had become frightened me. It did not help with the added pressure from my parents. A mother who looked at me as her ‘golden child’ after facing difficulties with my sister and a nearly absent father who was surprisingly always present during report card day. But this year, things will be different. After I made into one of my country’s premier colleges I promised to be kinder to myself. No matter how difficult. I wrote a list of healthier coping mechanisms so I would be less harsh on myself. I wish to share that with whoever’s reading this, in the hope that it may help you in any small way:

Listen to your senior’s advice. Be consistent with your coursework. There is nothing more helpful than consistency, no matter how small the habit is. Read all the readings if possible and make comprehensive notes. This will help in building your critical thinking skills. You will thank yourself later. Remember, everyone is basically writing the same thing. It’s up to you to make your work stand out.

Pay attention in class, online or offline. It’s amazing how much one can get done just by paying attention in class. It’s not as easy because we constantly have the option of looking at our phones instead. However, I think, I will try and switch my camera on so that I have to pay attention rather than look at my phone. You can try that too.

Embrace the journey. There will be ups and downs, but it is up to you what you do after it. Whether you cower down and move away from the challenge or you take it in your stride. I have struggled a lot with this and I hope to be better to myself and look at every obstacle as a learning experience and not deny myself opportunities because of fear,

Know your limits. It’s easy to get carried away with the plethora of co -curriculars at your disposal. Understand that maintaining a good GPA is your key goal. But at the same time, explore fields you wished to but could not earlier. Nothing better than a clean slate that college provides.

Take care of your health. Getting enough sleep is one of the ways you can. Romanticizing a four- hour sleeping schedule will only do you harm. Moving in some way or the other such as light exercise is not only good for your body but also for your mind. Definitely drink as much water as you can daily.

Practise meditation and manifestation. Now, this is not synonymous with dissociating and daydreaming.  Intentional thinking and mindful actions have greatly helped me control my anxiety better and I hope to continue with it in college.

For me, I wish to give writing and drama a chance in college. I have always been interested in both but I was boxed into different categories in school. I will break through these boxes in college.

Now,  these are some of the thoughts I am taking with myself as I start college. I hope you draw some inspiration from this as well.I will be giving an update as to how I followed my goals :)

Till then x

[iamhereandtrying]

My advice for future college students

-Don't take the 8 am class unless you're okay with waking up at 6 in the morning once/twice a day, or if you have to take it

-Be thankful if your parents are paying for your tuition and/or living

-Don't be friends with people if they're just doing it for car rides

-If you want scholarships, your high school GPA may help you. So will your college GPA

-Grades aren't everything, they don't define what you could do

Sincerely, a recent high school graduate who took college classes since her junior year of high school

[iamhereandtrying]

messy hair, ink-stained fingers, piles of dirty cups, scribbled notes in the margin of old books, 16 overdue assignments, frantic studying at 2 am, barely held together tote bags, papers scattered all over the floor

[iamhereandtrying]

Essays

Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of essays I like/find interesting/are food for thought; I’ve tried to sort them as much as possible. The starred (*) ones are those I especially love

also quick note: some of these links, especially the ones that are from books/anthologies redirect you to libgen or scihub, and if that doesn’t work for you, do message me; I’d be happy to send them across!

Literature + Writing

Godot Comes to Sarajevo - Susan Sontag

The Strangeness of Grief - V. S. Naipaul*

Memories of V. S. Naipaul - Paul Theroux*

A Rainy Day with Ruskin Bond - Mayank Austen Soofi

How Albert Camus Faced History - Adam Gopnik

Listen, Bro - Jo Livingstone

Rachel Cusk Gut-Renovates the Novel - Judith Thurman

Lost in Translation: What the First Line of “The Stranger” Should Be - Ryan Bloom

The Duke in His Domain - Truman Capote*

The Cult of Donna Tartt: Themes and Strategies in The Secret History - Ana Rita Catalão Guedes

Never Do That to a Book - Anne Fadiman*

Affecting Anger: Ideologies of Community Mobilisation in Early Hindi Novel - Rohan Chauhan*

Why I Write - George Orwell*

Rimbaud and Patti Smith: Style as Social Deviance - Carrie Jaurès Noland*

Art + Photography (+ Aesthetics)

Looking at War - Susan Sontag*

Love, sex, art, and death - Nan Goldin, David Wojnarowicz

Lyons, Szarkowski, and the Perception of Photography - Anne Wilkes Tucker

The Feminist Critique of Art History - Thalia Gouma-Peterson, Patricia Mathews

In Plato’s Cave - Susan Sontag*

On reproduction of art (Chapter 1, Ways of Seeing) - John Berger*

On nudity and women in art (Chapter 3, Ways of Seeing) - John Berger*

Kalighat Paintings  - Sharmishtha Chaudhuri

Daydreams and Fragments: On How We Retrieve Images From the Past -  Maël Renouard

Arthur Rimbaud: the Aesthetics of Intoxication - Enid Rhodes Peschel

Cities

Tragic Fable of Mumbai Mills - Gyan Prakash

Whose Bandra is it? - Dustin Silgardo*

Timur’s Registan: noblest public square in the world? - Srinath Perur

The first Starbucks coffee shop, Seattle - Colin Marshall*

Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, Mumbai’s iconic railway station - Srinath Perur

From London to Mumbai and Back Again: Gentrification and Public Policy in Comparative Perspective -  Andrew Harris

The Limits of “White Town” in Colonial Calcutta - Swati Chattopadhyay

The Metropolis and Mental Life - Georg Simmel

Colonial Policy and the Culture of Immigration: Citing the Social History of Varanasi - Vinod Kumar, Shiv Narayan

A Caribbean Creole Capital: Kingston, Jamaica - Coln G. Clarke (from Colonial Cities by Robert Ross, Gerard J. Telkamp

The Colonial City and the Post-Colonial World - G. A. de Bruijne

The Nowhere City - Amos Elon*

The Vertical Flâneur: Narratorial Tradecraft in the Colonial Metropolis - Paul K. Saint-Amour

Philosophy

The trolley problem problem - James Wilson

A Brief History of Death - Nir Baram

Justice as Fairness: Political not Metaphysical - John Rawls*

Should Marxists be Interested in Exploitation? - John E. Roemer

The Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief - Scott Berinato*

The Pandemic and the Crisis of Faith - Makarand Paranjape

If God Is Dead, Your Time is Everything - James Wood

Giving Up on God - Ronald Inglehart

The Limits of Consensual Decision - Douglas Rae*

The Science of “Muddling Through” - Charles Lindblom*

History

The Gruesome History of Eating Corpses as Medicine - Maria Dolan

The History of Loneliness - Jill Lepore*

From Tuskegee to Togo: the Problem of Freedom in the Empire of Cotton - Sven Beckert*

Time, Work-Discipline, and Industrial Capitalism - E. P. Thompson*

All By Myself - Martha Bailey*

The Geographical Pivot of History - H. J. Mackinder

The sea/ocean

Rim of Life - Manu Pillai

Exploring the Indian Ocean as a rich archive of history – above and below the water line - Isabel Hofmeyr, Charne Lavery

‘Piracy’, connectivity and seaborne power in the Middle Ages - Nikolas Jaspert (from The Sea in History)*

The Vikings and their age - Nils Blomkvist (from The Sea in History)*

Mercantile Networks, Port Cities, and “Pirate” States - Roxani Eleni Margariti

Phantom Peril in the Arctic - Robert David English, Morgan Grant Gardner*

Assorted ones on India

A departure from history: Kashmiri Pandits, 1990-2001 - Alexander Evans *

Writing Post-Orientalist Histories of the Third World - Gyan Prakash

Empire: How Colonial India Made Modern Britain - Aditya Mukherjee

Feminism and Nationalism in India, 1917-1947 - Aparna Basu

The Epic Riddle of Dating Ramayana, Mahabharata - Sunaina Kumar*

Caste and Politics: Identity Over System - Dipankar Gupta

Our worldview is Delhi based*

Sports (you’ll have to excuse the fact that it’s only cricket but what can i say, i’m indian)

‘Massa Day Done:’ Cricket as a Catalyst for West Indian Independence: 1950-1962 - John Newman*

Playing for power? rugby, Afrikaner nationalism and masculinity in South Africa, c.1900–70 - Albert Grundlingh

When Cricket Was a Symbol, Not Just a Sport - Baz Dreisinger

Cricket, caste, community, colonialism: the politics of a great game - Ramachandra Guha*

Cricket and Politics in Colonial India - Ramchandra Guha

MS Dhoni: A quiet radical who did it his way*

Music

Brega: Music and Conflict in Urban Brazil - Samuel M. Araújo

Color, Music and Conflict: A Study of Aggression in Trinidad with Reference to the Role of Traditional Music - J. D. Elder

The 1975 - ‘Notes On a Conditional Form’ review - Dan Stubbs*

Life Without Live - Rob Sheffield*

How Britney Spears Changed Pop - Rob Sheffield

Concert for Bangladesh

From “Help!” to “Helping out a Friend”: Imagining South Asia through the Beatles and the Concert for Bangladesh - Samantha Christiansen 

Gender

Clothing Behaviour as Non-verbal Resistance - Diana Crane

The Normalisation of Queer Theory - David M. Halperin

Menstruation and the Holocaust - Jo-Ann Owusu*

Women’s Suffrage the Democratic Peace - Allan Dafoe

Pink and Blue: Coloring Inside the Lines of Gender - Catherine Zuckerman*

Women’s health concerns are dismissed more, studied less - Zoanne Clack

Food

How Food-Obsessed Millennials Shape the Future of Food - Rachel A. Becker (as a non-food obsessed somewhat-millennial, this was interesting)

Colonialism’s effect on how and what we eat - Coral Lee

Tracing Europe’s influence on India’s culinary heritage - Ruth Dsouza Prabhu

Chicken Kiev: the world’s most contested ready-meal*

From Russia with mayo: the story of a Soviet super-salad*

The Politics of Pancakes - Taylor Aucoin*

How Doughnuts Fuelled the American Dream*

Pav from the Nau

A Short History of the Vada Pav - Saira Menezes

Fantasy (mostly just harry potter and lord of the rings)

Purebloods and Mudbloods: Race, Species, and Power (from The Politics of Harry Potter)

Azkaban: Discipline, Punishment, and Human Rights (from The Politics of Harry Potter)*

Good and Evil in J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lengendarium - Jyrki Korpua

The Fairy Story: J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis - Colin Duriez (from Tree of Tales)*

Tolkien’s Augustinian Understanding of Good and Evil: Why The Lord of the Rings Is Not Manichean - Ralph Wood (from Tree of Tales)*

Travel

The Hidden Cost of Wildlife Tourism

Chronicles of a Writer’s 1950s Road Trip Across France - Kathleen Phelan

On the Early Women Pioneers of Trail Hiking - Gwenyth Loose

On the Mythologies of the Himalaya Mountains - Ed Douglas*

More random assorted ones

The cosmos from the wheelchair (The Economist obituaries)*

In El Salvador - Joan Didion

Scientists are unravelling the mystery of pain - Yudhijit Banerjee

Notes on Nationalism - George Orwell

Politics and the English Language - George Orwell*

What Do the Humanities Do in a Crisis? - Agnes Callard*

The Politics of Joker - Kyle Smith

Sushant Singh Rajput: The outsider - Uday Bhatia*

Credibility and Mystery - John Berger

happy reading :)

[iamhereandtrying]

it's important to switch your routine up a bit to keep things interesting.

- do your shower routine backwards

- eat dessert before dinner

- listen to a music genre you normally wouldn't

- take the day off from work or school to remind yourself that you aren't a mindless drone

- climb a tree and let the birds watch you

- drink any drink but tea from a tea cup (monster energy; water; apple juice; wine if you're of age)

- mail a letter to yourself three days from now

- fake your death and move to a new country

- accidentally become involved in a nation-wide pyramid scheme, which you then take down and cement your status as a national hero

- find as many good luck charms as you can in one day

- give a compliment to everyone you see for an entire week

- wear an outfit that you don't think you have the confidence to wear

- go to a karaoke bar and sing an operatic aria

- discover the scientific attributes of dark matter

- disprove a popular scientific theory

- dismantle capitalism

- eat ice cream for breakfast

[iamhereandtrying]

"defend your thesis" why are you attacking my thesis

[iamhereandtrying]

― Horace, The Odes of Horace

[iamhereandtrying]

Things I've learned so far in my witchcraft practice:

Your intuition is your best friend; better to be wrong and safe than right and silent.

Your digestion knows when something is off.

Not everyone has to believe you, and not everyone is worth telling.

Divination is here to guide you, not to define you.

Protection. Cleansing. Protection. Cleansing. Protection. Clea—

When you get in your own head, you get in your own way.

Magick is science, psychology, intention, and unknowns.

Tools are only focuses; you are all you need.

There is energy in everything; atoms are moving all around us, each working together to keep the universe from unravelling. How bold of us to assume we aren't able to witness that energy.

Ask for permission, not forgiveness; your sister may forgive, but the earth may not.

Even if this is all bullshit (it isn't, in my experience), it's fun, and laughter is the best medicine.

Aloe for burns and antibiotics for infections.

"Let other men go to war; Protesilaus must love."

You don't owe your time, energy, or resources to anyone else, but sharing is often rewarding.

Some information is too valuable to give away; charge for the things you cherish; keep the things you need.

Be respectful of everything. I mean everything.

Research, research, research!

Sometimes the aesthetic is half the fun.

Your blood, your bones, your sweat, your tears; they are all deeply a part of you so long as you're tied to your body. They belong to you for a while, but they're on loan; use them wisely.

Know your present place; know your potential; they are not the same thing.

[iamhereandtrying]

DA reasons to improve your life:

1. Getting rid of many forms of social media will make you inconceivably mysterious. Are you an immortal that only texts and writes letters? Are you too busy devising a scheme or researching a lost civilization? Perhaps then you will exist more as an idea than a product of consumerism. Art was never meant to wear a price tag anyway.

2. Exercise to prepare for the day you have to leap onto that moving train to catch the figure who stole your carefully-curated research. Walk through cemeteries, the woods, museums—anywhere that allows you to appreciate the aching, fleeting beauty of the earth. Get your heart racing to remind yourself that you are, against all odds, alive.

3. Dressing with confidence will have you walking with purpose and others guessing what your purpose is. Why do you always look so put-together? Where did you get that haunting ring? Who’s chest wore that cardigan before you did? Where are you going with such enviable pride? They do not have to know that you wear a Philly’s baseball hoodie to study late into the night.

4. Journaling madly and keeping lists of everything can nearly guarantee that your teeming brain will live on, immortalized, for an archaeologist one thousand years down the line to unearth a detailed account of a most interesting ancient life.

5. If you learn small psychological, herbal, and folk tricks to cure headaches, sooth stomachs, and ease minds, and perform them with utmost flare, many will believe you to be magical in nature. You do not deny it.

6. Tea is a wonderful method of hydration. Tears are a wonderful method of dehydration. Balance, my darlings.

7. Stare at yourself in the mirror. Stare for hours—or maybe it will be only seconds. Stare, face lit by candlelight and stars, until your reflection whispers declarations of love to you instead of declarations of war.

8. Reading increases neuroplasticity. It also increases an optional knowledge of dead languages, forensic science, the blue-ringed octopus, Harry Potter’s favorite dessert, and why Orion Lake was not made for a deadly boarding school. Read late into the night; that isn’t particularly healthy, but, like I said, balance.

9. Lay in the sun for ten minutes each day. You are now a cat; watch the birds with lethal curiosity; stretch with all the laziness in the world. Vitamin D is good for you, and so is contemplating the simple needs of all living creatures.

10. Eat fruits and cheeses; bread and honey. You are a Greek muse. You dine in the halls of Olympus. Somewhere in the distance, Apollo plays his lyre. You want to sit here, in this stunning palace in the great wide sky, forever. You also want your daily intake of vitamins and minerals.

Stay healthy, stay curious, and stay painfully aware of the aesthetic manipulation of self.