#what do you MEAN it’s Xbox only

[oasisofgalaxies]

Forever pissed I can’t play halo 5 . What the fuck

[moeblob]

TIL "Lay On Hands" is a paladin healing skill and I am blessed by this knowledge.

[lavenderlyncis]

PLEASE someone tell me they also cried while playing disney dreamlight valley and save me from embarrasment

[takes1]

bokuto flirting with inexperienced!reader

nobody asked for this but i can't get this idea out of my head. second time i've written a kuroo's little sister thing and it just seems to read well imo?

warnings. nsfw themes, minors DNI

details. fem!reader / kuroo's little sister!reader / touchy!bokuto / flirty!bokuto / corruption kink!bokuto / virgin!reader / nerdy!reader / kuroo cockblocking / house party / protective kuroo / bokuto being a bad friend / bokuto crushing on you / 2.7k nsfw to follow, reply to be added to taglist

links. my masterlist. my ao3. more haikyuu. my request box. part two here.

"The guys are comin' over at twelve." Tetsurou informed you with a flat tone. He didn't even look up from his phone as he swiped a banana from the counter.

"Don't care."

Your parents were gone on another business trip, meaning this weekend was a free for all. Your version of fun wouldn't sway far from your usual path, staying up, playing games on your laptop after you were done studying for finals; your older brother gravitated towards more social hobbies.

"Sooo, like," He spared a glance to see what you were doing, "Fuckin' scram. Before then."

Papers, handouts, and notebooks littered the breakfast counter. Your laptop played an educational video from one of your classes and you had propped your phone to look at another online text. One highlighter hit the floor a while ago but you hadn't picked it up yet.

When you didn't acknowledge him, completely in the zone, he scrunched up his nose.

"Did you hear me, dumbass?"

"Shuuuut-the-fuck-up-I'm-doooiiing-somethiiing."

In a colored pen, you inked in a corresponding bar from a practice problem so you could visualize the axes.

If you had checked the time, you would know you had maybe ten minutes before twelve to 'scram.'

One could smell the attitude coming off of him from a mile away. Though he didn't say anything to you, it was made crystal clear in the way he sucked his teeth at you and shoved a chair before he walked upstairs.

It wasn't, and would never be, explicitly spoken, but the reason he didn't want you around was because he knew some friends were just too weird around girls. Kenma was the only friend he trusted to be alone in a room with you, and that was because he didn't like anyone. The roster of guys coming over to play some Xbox, play a match in the backyard, drink up your parents' liquor, and sleep over could've been a suspect line if was asked to judge their moral character.

Your slow, neat line of pen for your next graph became a scribbled mess in less than a second as the doorbell started ringing in a slew of rapid presses.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING

"Get the door!" You yelled to the stairway, frustration waning only after a nasty sigh.

There was too much to move to your room. You didn't have enough space on your desk for a spread like this, even if you moved every current thing off of it.

Footsteps padded swift back down the steps, not even getting the opportunity to do what he intended to upstairs, and he jabbed a finger at you but you couldn't see.

"Hey!" He shouted. Like he was offended you raised your voice at him to grab the door.

You slammed your palms on the counter and took a breath to yell, just before he called to you from the door, incredibly stern, "Fuck off somewhere else."

"Get the stick out of your ass!" You rolled your eyes and, then and there, decided to not move for anything.

Tetsurou gritted his teeth and pulled open the door, but it didn't nothing to stop Bokuto from pressing the doorbell. Next to him was Akaashi, patiently watching the button-pressing. It was raining, so that meant no practice match; they would have to stay entertained inside.

His big, cheesy grin was hardly a relief, "Hey hey heyy, buddyy!"

"Hey," He said, distracted, thinking about how disastrous this might turn out. He wondered if it was too late to reserve space in the gym, or even cancel.

"Woah-ho-ho," Bokuto giggled at his less-than-enthusiastic greeting and squeezed past him, unwilling to wait outside for any longer, "Don't sound so excited!"

The big, hulking presence stopped in the doorway, hastily removing his wet jacket and shoes. He retold the events of getting here in the rain, sparing Akaashi a few seconds in between to fix his embellished details. He was speaking to Tetsurou at such a volume that you had to search for your earbuds to drown his loud mouth out.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDING--

Maybe all of his stupid friends would ring the bell the same way. Thankfully, he was right there to open it and tell the next two groups to stop.

Soon, your living room was filled with almost all of Nekoma (only a few of which you could recognize from the handful of his games you had attended), and some guys you had never seen before.

It got so loud, so fast.

Your stubborn streak wasn't serving you well. Despite the separation you got from the one wall between you and the entryway, all the sound still poured into the kitchen through the open layout. Your technology wouldn't hold up to how loud a bunch of high school guys could get.

Tetsurou slinked into the kitchen, slow, quiet despite you both staring at each other.

He slid next to you, elbow scrunching one of your precious papers. He had that shitty, low-lidded smirk on his face.

Another boisterous laugh sounded through from the other room and your wince was only proof of your predicament. It sounded like they were fighting, or wrestling, or something that needed to be done outside.

He whispered, "Are you ready to give up?"

"Once you drop dead," You whispered back, clicking your pen ready.

His nostrils flared at your resilience. "You aren't even studying--,"

"Sooo! Where's all that liquor you promised, Kuroo?"

You watched your brother freeze up at the new voice coming into the kitchen. It was genuine distress that flashed across his face for half a second - you wouldn't have had the chance to see it, if he wasn't so up in your business. You turned just in time to watch a guy who didn't go to your school strut in.

"Woah!" He looked straight past your brother, right to you, "Who's thiiis?"

Tetsurou put his hand on your shoulder, something he never did, so you brushed it off as he started, "This is my--,"

"Heyy, Pretty," Bokuto sang just to you, big eyes trailing up, down, and back again, blatantly ignoring his friend.

You laughed at the interaction between them and his nickname for you. He was super hot. It left your brother impatient.

He closed the distance to shake your hand, unable to keep his eyes on just your face.

"This is my little sister," Tetsurou asserted, louder, this time.

The palm on the guy was so huge that you couldn't grip it. His hand could've easily crushed yours but he chose to shake it gently, then held it with both hands when he closed more distance.

"Hmm," He chuckled, "Hey, little sister. My name's Bokuto, but you can call me Ace."

You told him your name in an enamored giggle- biting your lip when he cupped his ear to hear it again, so you repeated it, surely less intelligible.

"(Y/n)?" He asked, jovial, like he was trying to make you keep laughing. He succeeded, "That's nice, but I like Pretty better."

Tetsurou moved himself between you, not a big enough presence to make Bokuto stop touching you or talking in the slightest.

"It suits you, yeah?"

Your brother cleared his throat so loud that it sounded cartoonish. Your fingers slipped from his hand, despite his attempts to keep them all to himself, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, looking down and away. His anger was tangible.

Tetsurou stepped in front of you and faced him. They went just outside of the open doorway. It left you to clean up your papers, laptop, pens, highlighters, books. He muttered many things, but you only caught:

"You serious?" Met with: "Relax, dude!"

"Do I need to worry about you the whole fucking weekend, bro?" Answered with: "Obviously not!"

"This is a line. Don't- don't cross it." Satisfied with: "Have some faith in me, bud, come on."

His friend drama wasn't your problem, but it was oh-so-entertaining to listen to. You fixed up your belongings very slowly so that when they came back, you didn't look so suspicious.

To your dismay, only Tetsurou came back in. He squinted at your gathered things.

"Good. Go upstairs," He said, so simple, with half of his attention on you, half on his friends horsing around in the living room, as if it was normal- as if you had ever tolerated him speaking to you like that before.

You threw a pen at his face, laughing loud with pure delight when it left a streak on his jaw. You had incidentally left it open.

There were few times you had seen him so indelibly angry.

The speed at which he nabbed the pen off of the the floor and hurled it back at you was worthy of a world-record. You only managed to dodge it because you knew what he was going to do before he did.

It shattered on the cupboard, ink exploding all over the floor, staining the counter.

There was almost no time to make a smartass comment, because as soon as you conjured one and inhaled to say it, something crashed in the living room. It sounded eerily mother's-favorite-vase-like.

He was teeming with contempt.

You didn't say anything back when he held his hand up, silently forbidding you from following him to investigate the now-silent room.

It was all his fault, when you thought about it. He dug his grave, since he decided on his own to have all of his rowdy friends over. It wasn't on you that he broke a pen, his friends broke a vase, and his best friend was so sweet to you in the first thirty minutes of the weekend starting.

While you could have left the mess for him to clean up, you didn't want to go upstairs just yet. Once you did, you'd have to justify coming back down. So, you pulled out some cleaning supplies under the sink and started picking up the little sharp plastic pieces of pen.

"Woah, what happened in here?"

You perked right up at the voice, somehow embarrassed to be found like this.

Bokuto threw a look over his shoulder before he fully came in. When he decided to enter, a big smile took up his whole face, making all his handsome features super friendly-looking.

He wasted no time sliding over the tile to squat next to you and inspect the damage.

"Tetsurou threw a pen," You said, quiet, avoiding his attentive stare.

He shook his head, disapproving, and started collecting the pieces with you. He gladly took your hand in his so he could place them in your palm. It was so unnecessary, but it made you giggle again.

"You like studying?" His head dipped to see more of your face, eyes bouncing around to take in all of your features.

It made you shy away and stand to throw the pieces out. But he followed just to watch you, amused at your mannerisms.

"Not really-," You squeezed past him, beginning to spray at and wipe off the ink, sparing a glance to your stuff on the counter, "I mean, there is something nice about it- but,"

Bokuto was too entranced by your lips to properly listen to you ramble. He glanced up to your eyes only on occasion, otherwise sporting an intense stare at your cute mouth, or the way you used your already busy hands when you spoke.

Soon you had told him too much, and there was no ink to clean up anymore, so you returned to sit on the stool next to the counter.

"I didn't know Kuroo had a sister," He sighed.

He chose not to sit, but to stand over you, just so that you had no option but to look up at him.

"Especially not one so cute," His knuckle grazed your warm cheek as you smiled at the floor, "God, you really are such a cutie, huh? You got a boyfriend?"

Your body braced at his touch. He took a step forward, one hand on the counter behind you.

"Mm-mm," You tried to meet his eyes, but it was impossible.

Staring at his body wasn't a bad deal, though. His shirt fit him nice and tight at the shoulders, then loosened, a little flowy at his waist thanks to his impressive build.

"That's good," His fingers dipped to your chin, gently bringing your face to look at him.

This you could only stand for a moment or two. You pushed his forearm down so he would stop touching your face, making you look this way and that.

He sighed, keeping his arm near you in case you wanted to keep your hands on him, but once he understood it wouldn't happen, he put it on the other side of you.

"I've- never had a boyfriend," You admitted, breathless at the pressure of such proximity.

It was mostly as a way to excuse your bashfulness, in partial hopes that he didn't take your hesitation as a sign of rejection.

You loved the attention. It was difficult to keep up with, but it didn't mean that you didn't want it.

His knuckles were white against the counter behind your back. His breath shallowed out. He had a hard time catching it, left recovering from the carnal reaction to such a perfect opportunity sitting before him.

All he heard was the chance to be unrivaled- a white knight of the bedroom, in a sense. To drag out that cute, adoring look on your face for as long as it took to break you in. His jaw tensed, his friendly smile faltering at the thought of what he could show you, teach you, be the very first to do to you.

He grinned, "No wonder he wants to keep you locked up, then."

♕VIP♕

@integers @yuchacco

my masterlist. my request box.

reply to be added for future parts!

[swappermanent]

Twin Switcheroo

You always hear about identical twins pulling the ol’ switcheroo on their parents or teachers—pretending to be one another just for the thrill. Nobody could tell them apart, so no harm, no foul, right? Well, my brother Aidan and I did that too. Only problem? We’re fraternal twins.

And when I say “fraternal,” I don’t mean the kind where people squint and say, Oh, I can kinda see it if I tilt my head. No, Aidan and I look nothing alike. But somehow, we pulled it off. Not because we were convincing actors, mind you, but because we had something most kids didn’t: the swapping stone.

It all started when we were nine. One of those sketchy, seasonal fairs had rolled into town, the kind that takes over the Walmart parking lot with creaky rides and booths full of cheap plastic prizes. Mom had given us ten bucks each to go wild, and we’d spent the better part of the afternoon losing at ring toss and inhaling cotton candy. That’s when we saw it: a grubby little booth tucked between the Tilt-A-Whirl and the fried dough stand.

The sign said “Mystical Marvels and Curiosities.” Beneath it sat an old woman with a hunched back and a smile full of suspiciously white teeth. Her table was cluttered with all sorts of junk—snow globes, “enchanted” bracelets, a crystal ball that was probably just glass. But in the middle of it all was this smooth, flat stone, about the size of a hockey puck, with strange carvings etched into its surface.

“What’s that?” Aidan had asked, pointing to the stone.

The woman’s eyes gleamed. “Ah, a powerful artifact, young one,” she said in a voice like creaking floorboards. “The Swapstone. Hold it between your hands with someone you trust, and you will trade places—body and soul.”

We’d burst out laughing, of course. It was obviously a gimmick, just like the “magic” wands she was selling for five bucks a pop. But we were nine, and the stone looked cool, so we pooled our money and bought it.

We didn’t think much of it until later that night. We were in our room, half-heartedly squabbling over whose turn it was to play the Xbox, when Aidan picked up the stone and tossed it at me.

“Hey, let’s try it,” he said, grinning.

“Try what? Swapping bodies?” I snorted, catching the stone.

“Yeah,” he said, plopping onto the bed. “What’s the worst that could happen? We hold hands and nothing happens? Big deal.”

I rolled my eyes but sat down across from him. “Fine. But when nothing happens, I get to play Xbox for the rest of the night.”

“Deal,” he said, holding out his hands.

We pressed our palms against the stone, and for a second, nothing happened. Then—

A rush of heat. A flash of light. And suddenly, I wasn’t looking at Aidan anymore. I was looking at... me.

“What the—” I started, but the voice wasn’t mine. It was Aidan’s. I scrambled to my feet, staring down at hands that weren’t my own, arms that were bulkier than I remembered. Across from me, Aidan was doing the same, staring at my scrawny frame with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“No way,” he whispered. “No freaking way.”

We spent the next ten minutes testing it out, poking and prodding at each other like scientists examining an alien specimen. Eventually, we figured out how to switch back—just hold the stone again and focus on wanting to return. The rush of heat came back, and just like that, we were ourselves again.

After that, we couldn’t stop using it. At first, it was just for fun—swapping bodies to mess with each other or pull harmless pranks. But the more we used it, the more blurred the lines became. I spent so much time walking around in Aidan’s body that I’d catch myself forgetting who I really was.

“Sometimes I feel like I am you,” I admitted one night, lying on my bed with the stone resting on my chest.

“Same,” Aidan said, tossing a baseball into the air and catching it. “It’s weird, right? Like, if someone asked me to describe myself, I’d probably say... you.”

We kept it a secret, of course. Our parents were none the wiser, just like all the clueless parents of twins who love a good switcheroo.

---

As much as the lines blurred between our lives and as much as we got confused about who we even were, the swapping had to end eventually. Aidan and I were inseparable when we were younger—two halves of the same chaotic coin—but by the summer before high school, things had started to change.

It wasn’t anything dramatic. No big fight, no falling out. It just became... necessary. We weren’t going to be doing the same exact activities in the coming year, and keeping track of who we were supposed to be when we swapped got harder and harder. If I was going to band practice in Aidan’s body while he hit the gym in mine, the whole charade started to unravel fast.

It didn’t stop all at once, but yeah, over time, we just kinda forgot about the stone. We tucked it into an old shoebox under my bed and left it there to gather dust. By the time high school really kicked into gear, we were more focused on our own lives than playing at being each other.

Many years later, Aidan and I both graduated from the same state college—though you’d think we went to completely different schools if you compared the photos of us at graduation. I worked hard, grinding through late nights and endless cups of coffee, and graduated magna cum laude. Aidan? He did just fine, but he never stressed about grades the way I did. While I was holed up in the library, he was out partying, making connections, and leveraging his looks to build a portfolio.

At the end, I got a good job—steady pay, benefits, the whole package—but now I can’t shake this nagging question: What was I doing it all for?

The money’s nice, sure. My apartment’s not fancy, but it’s mine. I don’t have to worry about rent. But beyond that? My life feels... hollow.

I don’t have many friends. The few I made in college drifted away after graduation. And as for my health? Let’s just say I’ve let myself go. I spend more time sitting at a desk than I ever imagined, and my idea of a workout is walking from my couch to the fridge.

It’s not like I didn’t notice the weight creeping on, or how my skin doesn’t have that same glow it used to. But the real kicker? When I show people a photo of my twin now—Aidan, who’s living in New York City and working as a model—their reactions sting.

First, there’s the pause. Then their eyebrows raise, followed by an awkwardly polite, “Oh, wow. You two are twins?” And finally, the cherry on top: the sad, conciliatory look. Like I’m a cautionary tale of what happens when one twin wins the genetic lottery, and the other... doesn’t.

I hate it.

Aidan’s life is better than mine now by just about every metric. He’s got the looks, the friends, the job that sounds glamorous even if it’s exhausting. And me? I’m sitting here, feeling like the second-place prize in a race I didn’t know I was running.

---

That brings me to today.

Our parents had decided to move—downsizing, they called it, though it felt more like an end of an era. They asked me to come back and help clean out my old bedroom, and honestly, I agreed more out of guilt than a sense of duty. It had been years since I’d really spent any time in that room, and I figured the whole process would be a couple of hours, tops. Box up some trophies, toss some old notebooks, and call it a day.

But as I dug through the layers of my childhood—the faded posters, the dusty books, the crumpled notes from middle school friends—I found something I hadn’t thought about in years.

The swapping stone.

It was right there in that old shoebox, exactly where we’d left it. The smooth, dark surface felt cool against my skin as I held it, the carvings still as intricate and mysterious as I remembered. For a moment, I just stared at it, a flood of memories rushing back—late nights laughing with Aidan, testing the limits of what we could get away with, the strange, electric sensation of becoming someone else.

But then I noticed something I didn’t remember: a folded piece of paper tucked beneath the stone.

Curious, I unfolded it carefully, my fingers trembling slightly. The handwriting was unmistakable—messy and uneven, like all the notes Aidan and I passed back and forth as kids.

The note read:

We, Aidan and Griffin, agree to swap bodies forever starting today, August 12th, 2010, because we both like each other’s bodies better than our own. We also agree that if one of us wants to switch back, we must do it.

Signed, Aidan Griffin

I read it once. Then twice. Then a third time, my heart pounding louder with every word.

“What the hell...” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

The memories started rushing back, faster now, sharper. That summer before high school, Aidan and I had spent weeks talking about how different we were—not just in how we looked, but in how we felt. I remembered the way he’d always envied my leaner frame, how he said it felt lighter, faster, more comfortable. And me? I’d admired his broad shoulders, his confidence, the way people seemed to notice him when he walked into a room.

We must have talked ourselves into it, convincing each other that staying swapped was the solution to all our problems. I could almost hear my thirteen-year-old voice saying, “It’s not like anyone will know, anyway. We’ll just be... happier this way.”

And the kicker? I’d agreed to it. We both had.

I looked at the note again, my stomach twisting.

Shit.

That means... I’m Aidan.

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Lonely Nights

Requested: Yes [Are you willing to write toxic Ghost? Like after sex he just kinda leaves you to play on his xbox?]

Warnings: Lack of aftercare, inattentive partner

A/N: Gahhhhh, I was very hesitant about this one. I do think Simon can be very…..not great to partners, even ones he’s close with. Especially the ones he’s close with. I think he has a hard time registering his partner’s feelings and remembering the courtesies of aftercare. I think he’s more used to one night stands that he kicks out after he’s done with them, not people who put their whole hearts in his hands. You know? So he kinda just…..accidentally treats a partner like that because it’s what he knows.

Ghost has never been the most….in touch with his emotions and those of the people around him. Even yours, as close as you two might be. It’s just not something he really manages to do well. He tries, God knows he tries, but he just fails, time and time again. And you’re left to pick up the pieces of yourself that he broke off with every accidental pain he caused. And you know he doesn’t mean to, that he just doesn’t know how to do this, be in a normal relationship, a loving one, but you’re not sure how much more of this you can take.

This would be one of those times. You were hurting everywhere after he had been too rough with you, practically on the verge of tears when he finally rolled off of your sore body, snatching his pack of cigarettes and his old beaten up lighter from the nightstand before making his way out into the living room like he usually did. You were stunned, for lack of a better word. Shocked that he had actually left you like this. You knew he wasn’t the best at these things, but how could he not notice the state you were in? Your emotions? Your pain? How could-how could he just leave you like this? How could he be so oblivious to something so plain to see?

Your legs shake as you crawl out of Ghost’s bed, almost slipping and falling onto your ass in your attempts to get up, hobbling out to the living room with a thin blanket wrapped around your shoulders. You wanted to call out to your lover, beg him to come back to bed with you, but your throat felt like one big bruise and when you opened your mouth to speak, you could only wheeze.

And then you saw him, lounging half naked on the couch, cigarette in hand as he watched rugby on the tv. You knew he noticed you coming in, he always did. But just like all the other times, he didn’t even bother to acknowledge your existence, just taking a long drag from his fag before puffing the smoke out through his nose, looking all the part of a lazy dragon who’d just fattened himself up on some knight who died screaming in agony.

Whimpering, you stepped closer, silently begging for his attention and affection when you sat beside him on the couch, croaking quietly to him as you touched his arm. A twitch was all you received in response, having to manually wrap his arm around your shoulders for any kind of comfort. He didn’t pull away, but neither did he lean in, stroke you, pull you closer. He was dead weight around you, devoid of the affection you so desperately needed in this instant. With a whimper, deprived and needy, you lean in closer, nuzzling your head against his chest like a lonely kitten, trying to get even an ounce of his attention.

“Not now, Love.” Was all you got, Ghost’s cold hand sliding under your chin and lifting your head up and away from him. “Go back to bed if you’re feeling tired.”

Heartbroken, you try to protest but just end up coughing, hand clutching your pained throat to try and stifle the growing ache. That at least earned you a little rub on your back from Ghost but it ended all too soon for you, not even a word of protest from him as you stood and shuffled back to your shared room, his eyes laser focused on the tv the whole time, while yours kept hopefully glancing back at him, only to end up disappointed once more as the door shut behind you with no interruptions except for the tv turning up just a bit louder right before you started crying, curling up on the bed and seeking what little warmth remained under the covers, face buried in Simon’s pillow and hoping beyond hope that he’d come in and scoop you up into his arms, apologize for leaving you so hurt and sad, promise to never do it again.

But it never came. And you spent the whole night alone in that big bed until Ghost finally came back in, just the slightest bit tipsy as he crawled onto his side of the bed, giving you nothing more than the lightest kiss to your head before he was dozing off for the night.

And that. That was what broke you, your heart shattering in your chest and cracking the fragile dam that you’d built up against your tears. Through shaking shoulders and quiet sobs, you felt resolve sink into your bones.

You couldn’t take this anymore.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Seventeen: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink(Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, public/semi-public, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, bondage/blindfolds, biting/slapping/spanking/cutting, rape kink, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, blood, knife, GEN. SMUT [All possible tags listed, all may not apply] warning: suicidal ideation no smut this chapter sorryyyy

Info: the boy is going through it. [diary entries from Ani {dates are odd but I promise it’ll make sense later}] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+

September 9th, 11:53 pm

Anakin immediately reacted to your sudden, startled jolt. The gasp you’d inhaled had him momentarily concerned you may have hurt yourself in some way, it sounded pained and although he wasn’t sure what it could’ve been, that didn’t mean he could dismiss the idea entirely.

”You okay babydoll? What happened?” He asked, setting aside his Xbox controller to give you his full attention.

”Yeah!” You squeaked, nodding your head quickly, though your movements were perceived as slow by you. “Yeah, just uh, one of those weird ‘almost asleep but suddenly I’m falling’ things.”

”Oh…” He nodded, relaxing a little bit. “Do you need me to get you some water or something? That kind of thing is stress induced you know.”

”Yes.” You swallowed hard, fighting a lump in your throat that just refused to diminish. “I know, uh I think maybe I’ll just go to the bathroom.”

“Well, alright.” He said, giving you a critical once-over before waving you off and returning to his game.

Scurrying off to the bathroom in the most awkward way you possibly could, you shut the door with a bit more strength than anticipated, causing Anakin to call out and check on you. One forced ‘all good’ later, you were sitting on the closed toilet lid with your head in your hands. The initial panic was beginning to fade now that you’d removed yourself from the situation, making room for fear to frost over your skin and halt your critical thinking.

Ghost could be anyone, logically you know that. So there is no reason to fly off the handle and accuse someone you care deeply about of committing many, many crimes. There isn’t any way for you to peacefully have such a conversation without it feeling like an attack. In the event you are wrong, such an assumption would no doubt spell the end of the one and only stable, loving relationship you’ve ever had.

If you’re right… well.

But you’re not. Of course you’re not, how could Anakin be capable of some of the things, any of the things Ghost has done? He’s a gentle giant, the guy who would rather scoop up spider in his bare hands to set it outside instead of squashing it. He makes you feel special and adored, your moments with him are calm and caring. He’s practically the polar opposite of Ghost.

Ghost has his moments, few and far between, where he is more than the mask. The moments when he’s less grey and more moral. Less animal and more man. He’s what you’d expect a jar of licorice would be like personified. The candy no one likes, the one that gets over looked and outright hated on. But the people who actually like licorice, they defend it until their dying breath and it seems like you’ve become quite fond of the bitter sweetness and the tough to chew exterior. Once you get past it, it’s really not so bad. Just like Ghost.

you shook yourself out of the stupor you were in, standing up to turn on the sink and splash cold water on your face, hoping to startle some sense back into yourself. After patting the sensitive skin dry, you pulled out your phone and promptly brought up your own contact info, dialing the number to call Ghost. It rang, once, twice, three times before disconnecting. He had hung up on you.

He had never hung up on you before this moment. While you knew he had every right to ignore you, perhaps never even speak to you again… you couldn’t let this go. So you tried again and again and-

‘What do you want?’ The text chimed through just before you could hit the call button one last time.

‘I think we should talk soon.’

’Why the fuck do you want that? You’re calling me this late for that? You should be groveling for forgiveness.’

‘This is me groveling?’ You audibly huffed at his response, waiting for him to send a follow up or not.

‘You can do better than that. I’ve seen you beg for cock, you know how to grovel.’ He responded.

‘Does it matter?’

’yes.’ Was the simple reply, short and sweet and read in his voice he uses when he snaps at you.

‘Nevermind.’

’fuck off.’

’Really?’ Outwardly scoffing at the text when it popped up on your screen.

‘Oh no, did I hurt the baby’s feelings?’

‘I should be meaner.’

‘But I won’t.’

Three texts in a row, three texts all containing completely different tones. Sarcastic, irritated, and ‘pissed but i still love you’. You thought about replying, started typing out a message but erased it, only to do it again. Finally you decided against replying at all, turning off your sound and putting the phone back into your pocket, flushing the toilet for appearances sake and running the water again.

You planned to head back to the living room, but saw that Anakin was cleaning up… sloppily, but still. He was straightening out the throw pillows and blankets, returning his controller to its spot beside the tv and pushing all the stuff on the coffee to one side, then calling it finished.

“Anakin. Are you alright?” You asked, standing in the entryway to the very short hall.

“Yes.” The word short and clipped.

“You sure?” Your voice was meek, timid, as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. “I don’t want to sound… nit-picky or anything; it’s just that your cleaning habits seem to have changed and I know how you are about having a clean space.”

“The first thing you say to me after coming back from the worlds longest piss is ‘hey why’s your house messy?’ Really?” He scoffed, his eyes flickering down to your hands, your pockets.

“I don’t mean it like that.” You frowned, your eyebrows pinching together in a show of frustration. “I’m just worried that’s all, you never leave stuff like this, especially before bed.”

“No, no.” Anakin waved your half-apology off like he didn’t care to hear anymore from you. “Don’t you worry, I’ll get right on it.”

“Hey, it’s late. Don’t-“

“Shut up alright? Just… just go to bed.” Anakin snapped, shooting a glare over his shoulder at you.

“Did you just tell me to shut up?” You asked quietly, your face morphing into something resembling disappointment. He’d said that to you jokingly plenty of times, but this time, you knew without a doubt he meant it. The way it was delivered spoke volumes to how he was feeling.

Anakin sighed, turning around to run both hands through his hair and ruffle it up frustratedly. His arms crossing over his chest tightly, clenching his fists with his jaw set firmly, the muscle rolling beneath the skin when he gritted his teeth.

“I am sorry.” He said enunciated every syllable, almost looking through you rather than at you.

“Is it because of the pill?” You asked, meaning only to understand the situation better, though causing it to worsen.

“What an astute observation baby!” Anakin sneered, throwing his hands up frustratedly. “Wow. Now if only you could poke your cute little head a bit farther out of your ass. Yeah?”

“What do you mean?” Questioning him didn’t seem like the best option currently, but what else were you supposed to do?

“It… it really doesn’t matter.” He grumbled, spinning away from you to walk toward his kitchenette. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll feel better if I clean up. I’ve just been so stressed.” He hissed the last word, glancing over his shoulder at you.

“Can- will you let me help at least? It’ll get done quicker.” You offered, trying to be helpful might distract him and you from everything else.

“No.” He sighed, his hands laced behind his head, his shirt riding up just a bit as he leaned backward to stretch. “No, I want to do it. Just go to bed. Please?”

“Kisses?” You asked quietly, clasping your hands in front of you awkwardly.

“Yeah, yes of course.” Anakin softened, coming toward you with open arms and an odd expression on his face.

Pretty, clear, sapphire eyes rake over your visibly anxious body. He seemed stuck between barreling past you to lock himself in the bedroom, scooping you up to hold and console you, maybe even smacking you if you spoke a few more tart words.

He did none of those. Instead he gingerly touched your face and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips, his expression unchanging in an uncomfortable way. His gaze piercing straight through you, burning upon entry and icing over at the exit. The muscles all relaxed save for the few pulling the corners of his mouth downward in a subtle frown. You hated it when he went blank like this, his emotions were completely unreadable, his skin taking on the properties of stone to stay cemented in place. A physical example of someone taking brick and mortar to their heart and mind.

“C’mon. I’ll put you to bed.” He said softly, nodding toward the closed bedroom door.

Turning the handle and pushing the door open, he led you into the cozy space that you were so hesitant to enter earlier. You braced yourself to have your fear confirmed, thinking you may find a hair band that didn’t belong to you, a false eyelash, the scent of someone new on your pillowcase. But as you walked to your side of the bed, stepping over a few stray clothes in the floor, you surveyed the nightstands, his was uncharacteristically crowded with cups and a collection of gum wrappers, yours was just the way you left it.

Technically, your ‘nightstand’ was really just half of his dresser. What wasn’t occupied by his large and ever growing hoard of shiny chains and oversized jewelry, rings, belts, wrist cuffs and the like; was home to a few of your things. It was mostly just for convenience sake, you did live just across the hall. All you really needed here was a little pink basket with your name sharpied on it that he’d bought for you containing all your ‘girlish possessions’.

Hair bands, bobbi pins, a scrunchie and a large hair clip tucked away in a small, clear plastic case that lay at the bottom of the basket. He even got your brand of mascara, concealer, foundation, blush and lipgloss in a cute heart shaped makeup bag. Among the other items he’d gotten for you were a hair brush, perfume, deodorant, a phone charger, your very own reusable water bottle (so you’d stop crawling over him and chugging his water at 2:00am), and a pink shark plushie that only slept in his bed when you were there.

You’d added your own items of course, your favorite shirt of his, some clean underwear and a pair of shorts and socks. Sometimes you just can’t be bothered to walk across the hall for such trivial things. It’d be nice to have a drawer like he has at your place, but the poor boy has so many clothes the things hardly close at all. So your basket serves you just fine.

After grabbing the charger and scrunchie you climbed in bed, already in pajamas. Already in pajamas. You moved from the mattress like you’d been burned, searing, scorching guilt licking at your palms to make them sweat. Anakin had been to distracted by picking up his dirty clothes and tossing them in the laundry basket tucked inside his closet to notice your knee-jerk reaction to the reminder that you were still in the clothes, still in the panties, that Ghost had lovingly peeled off your lustful flesh.

The panties that still had a little wet spot in the crotch, the ones he’d taken off just before your confession. The ones he threw at you in grieving anguish as he left you behind for the night. Thank the gods for those extra clothes, you grabbed them and swiftly went across the hall, passing a befuddled Anakin who watched you as you walked with purpose to the bathroom.

You couldn’t sleep next to him in that sinned in fabric. Even if he was being a complete ass, he didn’t deserve that kind of disrespect. So you freshened up and changed clothes, rolling the dirty ones into a tight ball as if it’d squeeze out some of the shame before you tossed it in his laundry basket. Tying up your hair loosely to keep it out of your face, you brushed your teeth and then returned to the bedroom, opening the closet and dropping the clothes into the laundry basket without a second glance.

Anakin was laying face down across the foot of the bed with his arms limp at his sides, lifting his head to rest his chin on the blankets when he felt your weight subtly pushing down against the soft memory foam. His eyes flickered a shade lighter than before at the sight of you, though they quickly returned to the flat, unfeeling eyes you rarely saw.

“Why’d you change?” He asked, his voice rumbling tiredly in his chest.

“Just… wanted to feel clean before bed I guess.” You answered, looking down at your lap where your hands rested palms up.

“Clean.” He scoffed, nodding his head. “Okay.”

“What?” You snapped at him, irritated by his tone or perhaps feeling a bit agitated by being questioned on such a sensitive topic.

“Nothin’ sweetheart.” He sighed, giving you a lopsided, half-hearted smile. “Let’s get you to sleep.”

You didn’t verbally respond, not pleased with his response or the way it was delivered. Simply pulling up the covers to your chin while Anakin situated himself atop the blankets with an arm tossed over you, groaning because he realized the lamp was still on. So he rolled to his side of the bed, reaching out with his right arm to pull the chain. He audibly hissed as though the movement hurt him, turning your head to watch as he rolled back over with a scowl on his face. Not one of anger, but one of swallowed pain.

“You okay?” You asked softly, shifting to face him as his left hand snuck under the blanket to lace his fingers with yours. There was just enough light filtering through the open bedroom door for you to see the annoyance flash over his features.

“I’m sore.” His tone flat again. “Pulled a muscle or something I think.”

“I can rub your back if you want?” You offered quietly, reaching out to gently feather your fingers over the fabric of his tshirt.

“Appreciate the thought darlin’ but I don’t think it’d help. It hurts to touch.” He said, a genuine appreciation in his voice. It was nice to hear some real emotion from him, it relaxed you, knowing he might be coming out of whatever emotional episode he’d fell into.

“I’ve been putting Arnica on it.” He added, scrunching and wiggling his nose like it itched.

“Arnica? Like the stuff for bruises?” You asked confusedly.

“No.” He said sharply, rolling his eyes. “I mean, yes but no. It helps with swelling too.”

“Oh,” You nodded, taking his word for it to avoid anymore upset. “I’m sorry, I wish I could help.”

“Well, you can’t.” He said. You didn’t take it as a jab, although the words fell hard from his lips, you knew he probably just meant it as a matter of fact statement, so you nodded in acceptance.

“Are you coming to bed soon?” You asked, trailing your fingertips over his forearm.

“Once I get everything picked up.” He nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Listen… today has been a train wreck, I have been a train wreck. I really am sorry.” He whispered, true emotion finally shining through in both his words and his expression.

“It’s okay. It’s just a bad day. Everyone has bad days.” You said softly, looking at him with sympathy. “I haven’t helped the situation I know.”

“I could’ve handled it better.” He sighed.

You shrugged. “Let’s not play the blame game. No one wins that one.”

“True.” He gave you a small but meaningful smile accompanied by a squeeze of your hand.

“Will you wake me when you come back?” You asked, your eyelids getting heavy after Anakin’s release of emotion, it calmed you, knowing he wouldn’t be going to bed upset.

“Sure, why?” His eyebrows knitted together as he smoothed out a loop in your loose ponytail.

“Just cause.” You said quietly, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. “I want to know you’re here.”

“Cute.” His voice affectionate as he let out a little chuckle. “I love you too.” He whispered.

“I know.” You nodded, still unable to say it.

You just couldn’t. You couldn’t before, you definitely can’t now. You’d already confessed it to someone else, someone who you probably should’ve ran from, got a restraining order against and begged until they locked him away. But that’s just love isn’t it? It makes you do crazy things.

Crazy things like betraying your dutiful and loyal partner with lustful trysts that should’ve never happened. Wild things like getting railed more times than a two dollar whore in the span of 24 hours by two separate men, one of whom being completely anonymous. Your sister would be appalled if she ever discovered that you were fucked with so little respect that you’d been sliced open and loved every second of it. In actuality, you wouldn’t mind doing it again.

All the things love tricked you into doing, you continued to allow and you would do so until the idolatry buried you alive.

Insanely deranged things like killing a man. Your panicked shooting indirectly causing another’s death by your lover’s hands. Perplexing things like the remorse fading in less than a day, the grief of extracting a human’s soul like that should’ve haunted you for life. But if it weren’t for your fear of being caught, you might’ve forgotten it by now.

Even if you could let those words slip through your soldered lips, you’re not sure that the barbs on your tongue would stop you from confessing more than just your love.

Or is it even that?

What if it’s not love and simply security and a devotion to the stability Anakin provides? What if you’re taking advantage of his kindness and trust in you, using him for the best of his qualities and his unwavering faith in you? Could you be so cruel and callous, is it possible you may feel indebted to him in some way and your heart is misinterpreting that for love?

Maybe it’s your subconscious, your self-preservation trying to crack through the deliberately placed cage in your mind. The dank corner of your mind where you squirrel away unmentionables, undesirables and guilessly horrid thoughts and memories. These days it’s getting fuller and fuller, the barrage of incoming files seemed never ending. The curator inside must be struggling, grasping at the iron bars in hopes to come out with only a few paper cuts. If just one of those bars bend, a flood may come running out and you’re positive that sort of unloading might turn you toward madness.

Diary Entry: September 9th

You’re finally asleep. God I wish I knew about your sleeping pills. Then I could’ve just popped one between those soft lips and you’d have went to sleep so much faster but you haven’t told Anakin you take them. I felt like I had to wait for hours, staring at your pretty face. I loved the view of course, however I didn’t love the way your lip kept twitching like you were upset as you were falling asleep. You’re still upset.

You’re just going to have to get over it. I won’t do it again. It was a moment of weakness and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t take it back anymore than I can’t make the memory of it go away. One pill. That’s all. Forget it.

I cleaned everything up. I even scrubbed the kitchen floor just to get some tension out. I’ve ruined my scrub brush, the bristles are all bent out of shape now.

When I went to check the bathroom and see if anything needed tidied up, I noticed my drawer hadn’t been closed properly, I know I didn’t open it. So it must’ve been you. Nosy bitch.

Well. I need a new hiding spot. Or maybe it’s just time to let that shit go. It’s not like I need twelve pair of panties and the other little trinkets I’ve stolen from you. I can take things and not have to hide it anymore.

——————————————————————————

Diary Entry: September 9th continued

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I never knew what i was doing but now i just feel like I’m paddling through shit creek with my bare hands and a wooden barrel for a boat.

My world is falling apart and I have no one to pray to because my goddess is just as rudderless as I am. How did i fuck up so badly and how the hell am I supposed to fix it when I just keep making it worse? I feel like I’m losing it, actually, truly losing it. I need guidance and the one person who has always been able to give me that is more lost than I am. I’m not meant to be a leader.

How can I bring you back from the dark when you are my light?

Is it even possible to atone for the things I’ve done or should I do worse and hope it cancels it out? Obviously I won’t try that because you can’t really get much worse than what I’ve done without doing some truly heinous things. See? I am capable of listening to the voice of reasoning I so often ignore.

You ignore yours too. I know you do or else we never would’ve made it this far. I used to think it was because you’re just a fucking idiot. I’ve come to the understanding that you are willfully ignorant.

I can’t even blame you. I can’t, not when I’m the one who set us up for this. It’s my fault and I’m just waiting for the window of your soul to chop me in half like a guillotine the next time I try to crawl through. You gave me such a slim opening and I was barely able to wrench myself away in time to only lose a few metaphorical fingers. The me inside my mind has yet to staunch the flow from the loss.

I know now why you won’t say it. Because you did say it. Just not to me, not to the me I made for you. I don’t know how to feel… relieved maybe, but I can’t help imagine it’s a bit unhealthy. For you I mean. I’m perfectly fine being the way I am, though I never meant to share the worst parts of me with you. Despite knowing, witnessing, participating in such a thing; you still chose to tell Ghost you loved him before you told Anakin.

I don’t know what to do with that information.

Then, you went and confused me even farther and denied me the only organic opportunity to tell you who I am. I’ve already shown you. That was the whole point of continuing all this. I could’ve stopped when we started dating but I didn’t because I didn’t want to. I realize now, you didn’t want me to either. You’ve seen the me I curated and molded into perfection. The me that you deserve. You’ve always had the option to take him and leave the rest behind but you still haven’t and I can’t foresee a future where you will.

Do you love Ghost because he is real? Is he real? Am I?

Have I always been him and never Anakin? Sometimes I think yes. Others I wholeheartedly believe I made them both just for you. Deep down i know its not true, I know who I am. I am an undeserving man. It doesn’t matter what way you spin it,. It doesn’t matter how many me’s I create, I will never be good enough for you. You know that, don’t you?

Can you tell that it’s a half-truth? Is that why you can’t tell me you love me? You know there’s something missing, it’s an incomplete file. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve known all along that I’m a fraud. You’re the only one. Other than my mother of course and don’t you dare make some sort of Freudian joke, that’s just clichè.

You are the only person I haven’t been able to fool. Further proof you are who I believe you to be. A goddess. They have some sort of ‘all knowing’ ability, yes? I’ve compared you to the Greek’s Artemis and her sister-goddess Diana from Rome, Goddess of the hunt. And hunt you have, even on those wobbly legs of a fawn. You hunted, hungry to learn and grow until you’ve turned into the beautiful, powerful doe I knew you were destined to be. My Doe. My Goddess.

You wanted to see me and you did. So why wouldn’t you let me tell you?

Are you afraid? I am.

I’m so afraid I tried to numb myself. Though like the savior you’ve become so good at being, you saved me from myself again. How is it that you can appear at just the right moment? I would’ve taken that second pill had you not come out to stop me. I might’ve even taken all your sleeping pills. Because I am afraid, and what do cowards do when they are afraid? They take the coward’s way out, it’s called that for a reason.

Diary Entry: September 10th

I hate lying to you. I hate hiding things from you.

I hate myself for doing that. I know I didn’t have to but I felt like I did.

I hate myself.

Diary Entry: September 13th

God I’m so fucking frustrated. Why are you being like this!? I don’t deserve this. You tell me you love me, you stop me from showing you my face, and I got pissed so I left. I gave myself blue balls but I’m going to blame you for it because it’s your fault after all.

We’ve kissed, we’ve touched, you’ve straddled my hips and rubbed your warm, wet panties all over my boxers but you won’t let me fuck you. You won’t let me make love to you. You won’t even let me get a finger beneath those pretty panties that I paid for.

There’s only so much my hand is capable of.

What are you afraid of? Telling me you love me? Probably. Last time you fucked someone it slipped right out. What a shame it would be for you to say it to me again.

Date

September 15th

You scrubbed at yourself in the shower, contemplating the man troubles that have plagued you ever since that night you finally made up with Anakin. He’s been grumpy, overly asshole-ish and so unbearably stubborn for the past few days that he’s on thin ice, holding a heat gun over the weak spot. Nothing you say seems to help but it also doesn’t seem to hurt, so you’ve been in a perpetual game of hot potato. As long as you keep going around the circle you won’t get burned.

Ghost hasn’t spoken to you in over a week and you’re beginning to think he may never make an appearance again. He hasn’t left a message, a note, a gift. He hasn’t even been inside your apartment. Ghost had never ever been so neglectful. It’s to the point that you might call and report him missing if you were certain of who he was.

The cameras in your home had been so well hidden that you didn’t think you’d ever find them, turns out they’re pretty easy to spot when theyre low on battery and the damn thing flashes red while you’re trying to sleep. You had always assumed he had a camera in your room, but to have it confirmed and see that it’s directly above your bed… was one of the more uncomfortable aspects of the odd relationship between you.

It was so tiny you couldn’t believe that it actually functioned as a camera. You plucked it from the hiding spot on your ceiling fan and put it in your jewelry box along with all the other things that Ghost had left for you. It was kind of entertaining, like a weird game of eye-spy to see if you could find the others now that you knew what to expect. You hadn’t found them yet, but you knew it wouldn’t take long for the rest of them to need charging too.

Oddly enough, it made you a little sad to think that he might’ve stopped watching. You always imagined that when or if Ghost ever left your life that you’d be relieved. If you would’ve told the terrified mouse who’d woken up to a stranger with a knife all those months ago… that she’d be sitting in the shower floor mourning the loss, well, she’d send you to the fifth floor without hesitation.

You’d wracked your brain over and over again, grasping at any idea that seemed remotely plausible in hopes that you’d conjure up some elaborate plan to fix everything. No grand scheme had revealed itself yet, aside from faking your death and moving out of the country, but Luke would hold a grudge against your faux corpse. You had promised that he would be allowed to die first because he couldn’t bare the idea he might outlive you.

Luke.

Maybe it was time to tell Luke. You wouldn’t have to share all of it, you could even lie a little, make it less rapey and more romantic. Sans murder and add a dash of sweetness. It’s not like you’ve lived a single day of your life for the past few months without telling a handful of lies a day. What’s a few more?

Maybe you should threaten warn Ghost first. As a courtesy of course. He should know if you’re planning on spilling your guts to your best friend, it’s only fair. What’s Ghost going to do? Roll up to Luke’s apartment and duct tape your mouth shut? No.

You sighed, stepping out of the shower, half expecting to see Ghost sitting on the sink again, unfortunately he was not. Unfortunately.

You didn’t have time for this. You didn’t have time to mope about, you’re a girl with a job that you neglected for days on end and they were kind enough not to fire you. So long as you were okay with being on probation; you were of course. Finding another stable job in a city like this on such short notice would be nightmarish. Thank the gods you’re their best waitress.

Ever since you returned to work, Sara has forced you to wear a ‘trainee’ badge and all your regulars have bullied you endlessly for it. Those little old men may seem sweet and harmless but the moment they find something to poke fun at they turn into a pack of jackals. Today you’d be back to serving them coffee sans the trainee badge of shame. Unless of course you are late.

Hurriedly dressing in your uniform and fixing yourself up enough to be presentable, you sprinted out the door and down the steps, quick walking to your car. You’d be late if you leisurely walked to The Bluebird like you normally did. You’d made a habit of parking right next to Anakin’s vehicle, so you had to walk past it everytime you climbed in to yours. You’ve not used your car since you returned from your weekend getaway and Anakin’s car hadn’t been there when you arrived.

You hardly glanced at it anymore, being so used to seeing it there. It always looked the same. He always parked it the same, always backing it in to the spot. So you weren’t expecting anything different when you bent down to pick up the quarter next to his driver side door. It must’ve fallen out of the overflowing change cup he kept in the door pocket.

You smiled, seeing it was face up, taking it as a good luck sign. You needed some good luck, so you picked it up. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed something different about Anakin’s car. The tire.

Dirt. Real dirt. Not the city street gunk or the sand and gravel mixture in the back parking lot of The Cerulean. It was dark earth and grass, trapped in the grooves of the rubber. Where had he gone that he might’ve needed to drive over actual dirt?

——————————————————————————

“Hey doll.” Anakin’s deep voice appeared suddenly to your left, his hand on your back as he walked past you to take a seat at the counter while you finished up taking your table’s order.

You gave him a smile and trudged off to the kitchen, clipping the order slip to the line above the stovetop. As you came back out of the kitchen, you shoved your pad and pen back into your apron pocket, surveying your tables to make sure everything was as it should be before you stopped to talk with Anakin.

“What’s up Ani?” You asked, leaning on your elbows against the counter.

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows, tonguing his labret piercing distractedly while he picked at his nail polish. “Oh, uh I just wanted to come say ‘hi’ before I had to go to work.” He said, giving you a little smile, his eyes not quite meeting yours.

“What’ve you been up to today?” You asked, turning around to get him a Pepsi, watching the liquid pour out and bubble up in the cup.

“What’ve you been doing?” He countered, taking the glass from you hesitantly, looking you over like he was searching for something.

“Just been at home and here.” You frowned, unwrapping a straw and popping it in his drink for him.

“Got plans or anything after work?” He asked, taking a sip through the straw.

“No? Sh-should I? Did I forget something?” You asked worriedly.

“Mm-mm.” He shook his head, eyes flicking down to his drink and back up to you. “No I just want you to stay at my place tonight.” He said quietly.

“But you work tonight.” You said, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“I’m aware.” He said with a snort, looking at you with a flat affect.

“I- I mean I’ll definitely stay.” You nodded. “I just guess I’m surprised.”

“Why?” He asked, curling up his top lip.

“I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at your place when you’ve been at work before.” You said, tilting your head to the side.

“You haven’t.” He confirmed, unfolding a napkin in front of him and laying it flat, ripping off tiny pieces.

“Well, first time for everything then huh?” You smiled, hoping to break him from the reeking attitude he was carrying around with him.

“Come out to my car with me.” Anakin wasn’t asking, not even instructing. He was demanding.

“Oh-okay just a second.” You nodded, walking toward the kitchen doorway. “Vigo! Anakin is here, I’m gonna take a break.”

“Yeah sure.” Vigo waved you off, tossing a towel over his shoulder before he flipped on the tap and began washing his hands.

You turned on your heel and expected to see Anakin sitting at the counter where you left him. Though as you untied your apron and tossed it under the counter, you scanned the diner and saw him nowhere. Instead, he was already heading out to his car, the ‘Open’ sign on the glass door of the restaurant swinging back and forth just proved he pulled it open with more force than necessary.

Peering through the glass as you approached the door, hand out to push it open, you spotted him leaned against his car with his arms crossed. His head down, staring at the blacktop beneath him until he jerked to the side, sensing your presence growing nearer.

“Get in.” Anakin opened the drivers side back door for you and gently ushered you inside. A big contrast to the gruff tone he spoke with.

“Yes sir.” You rolled your eyes, speaking sarcastically. It didn’t seem like Anakin thought it was just a good natured jab. Rather, he reacted like it was a personal attack.

He firmly grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it as he climbed into the back seat behind you. He let go just as quickly as he gripped it, wordlessly splaying his fingers across your scalp to apologetically massage your scalp.

“What the hell was that for?” You scowled, batting his hand away from your head.

“We haven’t fucked since you came back,” he said, ignoring your question. “I want you to fuck me.”

Your jaw dropped through the floorboard of the car and shattered on the pavement beneath. Watching him unbutton and unzip his jeans, more comfortably spreading his legs and leaning back, his hands laced behind his head with a grunt. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, waiting expectantly for you to make your move, but you were simply speechless, frozen in place.

“Hello?” He snapped his fingers in front of your face to get your attention. “If you’re gonna sit there with your mouth open at least put it to work.” He scoffed, grabbing the back of your neck with one hand, pulling out his already hard cock with the other.

There was a split second of hesitation on his part, pausing like he realized what he was doing, suddenly coming back to consciousness after being possessed.

“Princess… I’m so sorry, y-you don’t have to do anything.” He turned his head to you revealing his paling cheeks as he quickly released the back of your neck from his rough hold, only to be shocked by the lustful gaze staring back into his worried eyes.

“Th-that was hot.” You squeaked out, melting into submission.

“Wait- really?” He asked, eyebrows pinching together in shameful hope. His hand hovering over the nape of your neck as if waiting for permission.

“Y-yeah, yes.” Swallowing thickly, cautiously sliding off the backseat and onto the carpeted floor to kneel in front of him.

“Sweetheart, no.” He shook his head, a mask of remorse passing over his features. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

“Anakin.” You said quietly, “please shut up.”

“O-okay.” He nodded quickly, suddenly timid, so unlike that man from just seconds earlier.

You lowered your head without another glance up at him, moving to swirl your tongue and suck on the silver ball of his jewelry to slight push and pull the metal through the piercing before taking his cockhead between your lips.

You were too busy to notice the absolutely wicked, deriding, straight up unsettlingly evil grin eat away at the faux timidity he’d painted on his pretty face.

Diary Entry: September 17th

Is there a word for when you kind of feel bad about something because you know that you should, but you don’t actually feel bad about it? If there is one I’d like to know it. It’d be perfect for this. It’s exactly how I feel.

I don’t think I’m obligated to actually feel any sort of ‘remorse’ in this situation though because it’s not really my fault. Even if it is… it’s only indirectly. After all the excitement life has finally slowed down enough for me to notice I’m out of my meds. Have been like for a few days.

So, apologies for being a total jerk, but also no I’m not apologizing because I don’t believe you mind it. I think you just don’t like it. You don’t like facing what you already know to be true. Kind of like when you rearrange the magnets on the fridge. You get so used to seeing it one way that you hardly pay attention. But the moment you move ‘em around its like you’re looking at a brand new fridge every time you walk past it. It just jumps out at you.

Same fridge, same magnets. Same me, more Ghost, less Anakin.

Diary Entry: September 20th

Why does life have to kick me in the ass, why won’t it just pucker up and kiss it? I have a nice ass. You’ve said so.

I can list a hundred things that I would rather be doing this week, a thousand if I tried really hard. I would prefer to shove my hand in a manual meat grinder than go back to that stupid fucking doctor.

My mother makes her weekly FaceTime call and turns it into a game of twenty questions.

I know exactly what she was trying to do, fishing for information, trying to see how much I knew. She did the same thing when that murder on campus happened. It wasn’t me. The guy who did it was caught and locked up, it was a senseless crime. The poor kid didn’t do anything but stand in the wrong spot at the wrong time. Just because I live near the campus, doesn’t mean I’m involved. Except for this time.

I don’t do senseless crime. I’m not stupid.

‘It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a call from your doctor honey. Did you take me off the information release? You know you can’t do that Anakin, it’s mandatory.’

‘Your prescription hasn’t been filled, you haven’t taken it in over a week! Don’t lie to me!’

Fucking fine. Alright. I love the woman but Christ alive she gets on my goddamn nerves. Now I have to go back to the shrink because I didn’t call and request my meds to be refilled and I didn’t try to pick them up when they were ready. Apparently if you’re three days late to the CVS pharmacy they put your crazy pills back and hold them hostage. Some policy shit about controlled substances.

My mom watched the news and thought to herself ‘hmm, it’s been alittle while since I’ve questioned my son’s sanity.’

Have I not done enough to prove I’m capable of being a functioning member of society? The state says I have. Why can’t she do the same? Officials have signed off on my ability to be normal and surprise! I have ‘maintained mental stability’ and ‘reintegrated into society’.

They’re over it. Why can’t she be?

I mean for fucks sake, she was used to it. Those doctors and nurses who loved to sedate me while I was in that state school weren’t and they forgave me a million times quicker than mom did. I would’ve gotten grounded for months if she had been the one to find out I was stealing meds and reselling them. It’s not my fault they padlocked it with a big clunky thing from the 90’s. A toddler could’ve picked that lock with a spoon, but they trusted a school of delinquents not to capitalize on it? All they did was give me a time out in the bad boy box for a week. It was like a vacation, no classes, no people, no gym.

They expected me to be upset about that? Please.

The only thing I didn’t think I was going to get away with there was the whole therapy-chicken fiasco. My refusal to apologize definitely didn’t help. But when you live in the suburbs majority of your life you aren’t exactly accustomed to a fucking rooster thinking the sun is coming up at 4:00 am. I already had to deal with sharing a room with a chronic masturbator who snored and grease-trap McGee who thought axe body spray could substitute for a shower.

Adding chickens into a coop directly outside my window was the tipping point. A state official who believed caring for animals could be therapeutic almost cost me my graduation. Out of all the animals they could’ve chosen, they picked chickens.

They only lasted a week before I got fed up and wrung their necks like a washcloth.

But I’m an adult now. I’m a big boy, making big boy choices and one of those choices was to stop seeing my doctor. I would’ve kept up with my pills, however, I was busy following my girlfriend to the lake when I got the ‘prescription ready for pickup’ text.

I probably don’t even need them anymore anyway. I’m fine. But now if I don’t get my ass in there for an appointment with Dr. Bullshit I’ll have to get reevaluated through the court and have to see that little bitch ass man-boy I hit with a table. I can’t have that. Not when everything is perfect in my life.

Except for the stuff that’s really horribly terrible.

Appointment: date: September 28th 3:30pm

September 15th 8:23pm

Seconds after unlocking your front door, you flopped down face first onto the couch. Dropping your belongings onto the floor below you with a thud, you had no intention of moving until absolutely necessary. You just wanted to rot. Not because you wanted to die per say… its just that you wouldn’t mind feigning dead for a while and if you just so happened to perish while playing the part of a corpse; well it wouldn’t be so bad. It’d be way easier than living the life that you’ve found yourself in.

Everything had been so undeniably awful lately that the joy had been sucked out of even the smallest things that made you happy before. Like the nice old lady who gets coffee and a slice of cake for lunch, she’s so cute and small and she always leaves a peppermint as part of your tip. It always made you smile, always gave you a warm feeling in your chest, but today was different. Today the gesture made you feel hollow.

Since he left, it’s all you can think of.

——————————————————————————

9:52pm

After peeling yourself away from the comfort of your couch, you showered and ate a dinner fit for royalty: microwave stir fry rice. Then you dragged yourself across the hallway to Anakin’s. For reasons yet to be revealed you were dreading your time inside his place alone. The air felt heavy and stale as you walked through the space, into his living room. It was always like this when he was gone, like the apartment never fully ‘wakes up’ until he steps inside.

It’s odd, feeling like the room you’re in is in a state of dormancy. Yet, it’s not the cause of your hesitancy to stay here tonight, while he’s away. No, you’re hesitant because Ghost he usually visits on nights Anakin is at work. What if he shows up and you’re not there? Will he make an appearance here? Will he think it’s your way of saying you don’t care if you see him or not?

Worse still, could the hesitancy stem from that little voice trapped deep in the recesses of your mind? The one you’ve ignored every time it’s been able to rip the gag from it’s mouth?

The rope of dread wraps tighter and tighter around your neck each moment you’re here alone. No amount of distraction has been able to cure the itch, the burning, nagging itch to get up and search. Is that what he wants? What if he’s been here?

Are there cameras here too? That’s something you’ve never even considered before and the thought makes you feel ill. It’s one thing to have your own privacy breached, but Anakin’s… that’s unfair to him and it’s already gone past ‘innocent’ watching. The camera in your bedroom has surely caught things no one else should’ve seen and that knowledge has begun to haunt you.

He’d been watching you have sex. With him. With Anakin. He had hours of footage, a thousand thoughts crossed your mind at the realization. But only a few were significant enough to take note of. If he’s been monitoring your bedroom activity… why was he only upset about the time you and Anakin had sex in the living room? He was so angry about it, so angry he wanted to roleplay stabbing you. He cut you while he pounded you from behind.

Why hadn’t he been that jealous about every other time? Probably to spare you the embarrassment of knowing the camera was right over your bed. It would be stupid of him to reveal that sort of information, then he wouldn’t have all those videos, perfect for blackmail, presumably great amateur porn. He wouldn’t… would he? He killed a man.

Men?

So it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he might’ve been saving all that up in case he needed it. He did say he’d send those pictures to Anakin if you didn’t behave. That’s blackmail. That’s a threat.

Or maybe, he’d done something even worse. Ghost… could he have…? No. He’s too possessive. He wouldn’t try to make money off of you like that. Would he? Despite laughing off the thought, your phone suddenly appeared in your hand, thumbs working of their own accord to check any and every explicit website you could find using the tags ‘ghostface’ ‘masks’ ‘hidden camera’ ‘blindfold’ ‘gagged’ ‘knife’ and anything else you thought it might’ve been labeled under. Scroll after scroll you squinted your way through countless video thumbnails, all the big sites were clean as far as you could tell.

OnlyFans? Maybe. He’d make way more on a site like that than he would on a larger porn site. Right? Wouldn’t it be considered… niche content? So you searched there, preview and profile pictures of so many people popped up. Maybe it’s not as niche as you thought. The idea that others may be interested in something like that was slightly comforting and only a tad infuriating.

These people might not be your Ghost; but they shared his face. And, they had hundreds if not thousands of people watching them.

It shouldn’t bother you as badly as it does, but you can’t help it. Maybe his own possessiveness has started to rub off on you, because the thought of someone else watching a man in the same mask as Ghost… almost felt like cheating.

Realistically, he could be any of these men.

You could be looking at him right now along with whoever else is online and you’d never even know it unless you saw yourself pop up on the page. But then you’d have to subscribe to **every single one** of these profiles. You might waste your time scrolling through videos and never finding what you were looking for.

Because… realistically he probably isn’t one of these men.

“Enough.” You groaned, fisting your hair on both sides of your head, then pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes.

Finally you got up and made popcorn, sitting yourself in front of the living room tv for a bit of a wind-down before bed. It would be hours before Anakin got home, X-Files was calling and you just had to answer. So you restarted it and settled in for a binge. The familiar theme washing over you in a nostalgic sort of way, late nights passing by on the projector of your memories.

Luke and you in his twin bed, comforter bundled around you as you sat huddled together, crosslegged in the soft glow of the tv and his small spaceship nightlight. Too old for ‘kid shows’ and too young for horror movies, so you found the next best thing: Goosebumps for grown ups.

His parents were fancy enough to have a DVR to record shows, allowing the two of you to rewatch your favorite episodes whenever you pleased. So long as his father didn’t record over them to catch the newest episode of American Idol.

Isn’t it odd how we so often return to the comfort of childhood in times of uncertainty? Clinging onto the old things that were stable even in the forever changing world you grew up in. Every night without fail, re-run after re-run of X-Files would play on channel 72. All night long.

Now you didn’t have to wait until 8:30pm. You could watch it whenever you wanted, or needed. The latter was true in this case. You want to believe. Just like Mulder. But, Scully is reasonable and you needed to be reasonable. An inkling isn’t proof, a feeling isn’t fact. Cold, hard evidence doesn’t lie. But your mind, your heart, your eyes and ears… are not as trustworthy as you might like to think.

You only got through two episodes before you stood up and sat your bowl of neglected popcorn aside.

“Skeptics are often the best detectives.” You mumbled to yourself, a very paraphrased quote from the show.

You’d come here to snoop once already and had found nothing. No evidence. But now you wondered if you may have been searching for the wrong things, in the wrong places.

“What would Scully do?” You thought.

You found yourself slipping into the role you once loved to play alongside Luke. You’d be the voice of reason to his fantasy world of the paranormal, when he’d come up with ‘cases’ for the two of you to solve. Only this time you would be playing both parts.

You’d started off toward Anakin’s bedroom when your phone buzzed, pausing just before passing the threshold into the space, you pulled your phone from your pocket and saw a text waiting to be read.

‘Do you miss me that bad?’

Ghost.

Unsure of whether to answer or not you freeze in place, staring down at the screen. He’d ignored you for what felt like eternity, now he was returning with a snarky comment about your internet searches. He can monitor your search history but he can’t say ‘hello’ for a week?

Your thumbs poised over the keyboard, a million jumbled words fighting for their chance to make an appearance in your quick witted, equally snarky, sarcastic-

‘Yes.’

‘Liar.’ The response came through the very second your phone showed that your message had delivered.

Your face heated up, how dare he call you a liar? After everything you would’ve thought he might know better. You chose not to entertain the comment, knowing it would only make Ghost think he’d successfully gotten under your skin. Even though he had, he wasn’t entitled to that information.

‘Your cameras are dying.’

‘I don’t need them anymore.’ The text finally appeared after several bouts of typing, erasing and retyping occurred on Ghost’s side of the conversation.

He doesn’t need them. At least he didn’t say he didn’t want them anymore, because that would imply that he didn’t want you anymore. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you hoped it meant he had something else planned, not simply that he had lost interest in watching your day to day activities.

It was a sobering concept; the idea that you may be losing his attention. Is it worth it to even try to find out? Will the answer just hurt you more than the not knowing? You suspect it might.

So you turned off your phone. No more googling, no more texting. Just searching. With X-Files to keep you company, you walked around the living room to carefully lift every item in the room. Each little trinket inspected and every backing to his picture frames removed, the couch cushions lifted, unzipped and felt up. Scooting every piece of moveable furniture away from the walls and pushing it carefully back into place. Anakin was peculiar about his things, if you misplaced something by even a centimeter, he would notice.

If you weren’t so angry at Ghost, you might’ve thanked him for the ‘take a reference picture’ before moving someone else’s things trick. It was no wonder you didn’t notice him being inside your house for so long. He really was good at what he did.

But you were angry. Angry at him, at yourself, at Anakin. But you were furious at the invisible wall that kept you from searching Anakin’s room. Every time you approached it, your mind thought up some excuse for why you weren’t finished looking elsewhere. There’s only so many logical hiding places and you were suddenly determined to find them all before moving open to the more… illogical ones.

Cereal boxes. Ice cube tray. Dishwasher and the dishwasher pac container. The fabric along the bottom of the couch. Behind the mounted tv. In the trash cans beneath the trash bag. The water tank of the coffee pot. His shoes.

You even re-checked the bathroom after remembering you never found out what was keeping that drawer from being fully opened. Turns out Anakin beat you to it and got it out of the way, so when you opened it, you removed the drawer completely to find that there was nothing there and never had been. If there’s nothing there, there must be nothing in his room either.

And suddenly, that invisible barrier dissolved.

“Oh you’ve gotta be fuckin’ joking.” Anakin laughed humorlessly, seeing his text deliver green. He tossed his phone onto the crate beside him, annoyedly pulling the cigarette from between his lips with pinched fingers and flicking the ash on the ground.

”What?” Trevor asked, pressing his back to the brick wall, enjoying a slow sip of whiskey.

“Ah, it’s nothing.” Anakin grumbled, raking a hand through his hair.

“Oh come on now don’t give me that shit.” Trevor scoffed, scuffing his shoe against Anakin’s. “I’d like to think I know you well enough to know when you’re royally ticked off.”

”Trev. You don’t ever wanna see me royally ticked off.” He chuckled, deep and gravely from the back of his throat. “I’m just… irritated.”

”You’ve been barreling around the bar for the last week like a bull in a china shop.” Trevor said pointedly, taking a gulp of his whiskey. “I didn’t think anyone would ever beat April’s broken glass record but you’ve fuckin’ smashed it.” Trevor snickered at his own joke, clearing his throat anxiously when Anakin didn’t laugh along with him.

”Seriously man, I’ll help you out if I can. Just say the word.” Trevor shrugged, feeling an awkward silence that he hadn’t shared with Anakin in quite some time.

”This isn’t something you can help with.” Anakin sighed, shoving his phone back in his pocket and rubbing his palms over his jeans, smacking his knees before standing up and tossing his cigarette butt into the designated coffee can.

”Girl trouble?” Trevor guessed putting both his hand palm up in front of him.

”When isn’t it girl trouble?” Anakin groaned, rubbing his face. “My girl, my mom, the fucking cat. Even the damn cat is being weird with me.”

“Well, what’d you do?” Trevor asked curiously, not trying to pry to hard.

”Oh you know.” Anakin shrugged, a smirk on his lips. “Went on a murderous rampage, girlfriend caught me snorting some special K, didn’t give the cat a treat, told my mom off over the phone.”

”Shit, anything else?” Trevor laughed, standing up as well to follow Anakin inside.

”Beat up a middle aged man, mugged a gas station attendant, robbed said gas station, stole a motorcycle, spray painted a few buildings, busted up a change jar, fucked your mom.” Anakin listed off on his hand, turning around with a grin on his face after the last ‘transgression’ left his lips.

”I should’ve seen that one coming.” Trevor huffed shaking his head. “Tell your mother I said ‘nice tits’.”

”Oh fuck right the hell off.” Anakin snorted, shoulder checking Trevor into the wall as they re-entered the bar.

”Yessir,” Trevor tipped his imaginary hat and spun on his heel. “Next time i see you, I’ll be calling you son.”

”Just don’t ask me to call you daddy.” Anakin shook his head, faking a right and smacking his left cheek lightly before running off behind the bar.

——————————————————————————

September 16th 3:13am

Anakin left the bar after his shift that night, feeling a little bit lighter. His mind a little less foggy and a little more organized. He jogged up the steps to his apartment and almost walked in, his hand on the door knob in preparation to unlock it.

It was as if the other side of the hall was calling to him in a way he hadn’t experienced in a while. That same strong urge that had lured him into your life in the first place, he knew you were waiting for him, but it couldn’t hurt to make you wait just a tad longer, right?

Slowly he turned and switched keys, unlocking your door and stepping inside he flipped on the light switch and went about collecting the rest of the cameras he had so painstakingly set up all that time ago. Lining them up on the dresser in front of your bed just before taking all the little things he’d left, all the notes, and lining them up in chronological order from one edge of the dresser to the next, ending the sequence by taking off his centipede ring and placing the bullet he’d carved for you in the center of it.

He carefully plucked your hairpin from the jewelry box and held it for a moment in the palm of his hand, tracing over the delicately carved lines. He’d looked for so long, searched everywhere just to find it and you’d never worn it. He understood of course, he could understand the reasoning behind not wearing it. But keeping it tucked away in your jewelry box seemed like a waste of it’s beauty, a waste of what it represented for him. So, just like he stole it from that antique shop, he stole it back from you.

Anakin stood back as he slipped the hair pin into his pocket, looking down at his handiwork. It was satisfying to see it all laid out like that in front of him. Like a nice little history exhibit of your time together. It brought a small smile to his lips, a happy one, one that was real and genuine, proud.

He hadn’t planned this, he used to plan everything so carefully, so far in advance. He’d been running on instinct and the free feeling he got when he decided something on the spot for a while now. It felt nice to break from the mold he’d created for himself when it came to you, not so much when it involved murder. Anakin wasn’t a man who would admit to be scared about just any old thing. Scared of losing you? Absolutely he would admit to that. But scared of prison? No, he’s too tough for that.

Which is why he was blaming his tears on you and you alone. Despite his happy smile, he sniffed back salty droplets that graced his cheeks, unaware he was even crying until he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the dresser.

He was well aware that he’d been sloppy. There were so many things that didn’t make sense at that crime scene and he was hoping that the police were stupid enough to believe it was all due to that poor kid’s hysteria. Anakin was smart enough to know that the police wouldn’t share any information that was valuable, if they had suspicions anyone else was involved. They’d wait and bide their time, gathering evidence and luring the suspect into a false sense of security.

He was paranoid, so, so, paranoid. Rightfully so.

None of the boys he’d left alive turned up that way, which in all reality made it a little easier for him. There’d be no witnesses and no one to point the finger at a real life Ghostface. Two of the boys had bled out, the other died from a stress induced seizure and choked on his own tongue. Anakin supposed that might be a reasonable reaction to being zip tied to two dead guys that had fallen over on top of you. He knew he should feel bad, he did, just not for what he knew he was supposed to.

He felt bad for himself.

——————————————————————————

September 16th 3:46am

You were on your hands and knees, using your phone flashlight to search under all the furniture in Anakin’s room. You even lifted the mattress, took out all the drawers in the dressers and nightstand, even checked the pockets of the clothes hanging in his closet. The suitcase at the top of his closet and the shoes at the bottom.

You gave up searching after you picked up a candle and turned it over, why in the world would you be checking a candle for anything suspicious? You were beginning to believe you were just horribly paranoid, rightfully so, you’d just aided and abetted and murdered not too long ago.

So you cozied up in Anakin’s bed and started watching the X-Files that you’d switched over into his room’s tv for background noise. Now Scully and Mulder had your full attention.

It was a good episode, a string of strange unsolved murders. Mulder had a theory that would connect these murders to ones that had happened several decades before. He was convinced they were committed by the same man despite the time passed between them. He even found matching finger prints to prove his theory, yet Scully was still unconvinced. That was until the culprit came after her, breaching her home’s defenses by squeezing through the air vents.

You jolted upright so quickly it made your brain feel as though it spun on an axis. With your phone in hand you went about the apartment, checking each air vent. It would be a perfect hiding place for anything really. You would’ve never even considered it had it not been for the X-Files. Your palms sweat with anxious anticipation, each one you checked meant you were one closer to finding, or not finding whatever it was the Anakin may or may not be hiding.

You saved the one in Anakin’s room for last, assuming if he were to have hidden anything it would probably be there. You were just about to shine your light through the slats of the vent when you heard the front door open, in a moment of panic you shot upright to your feet, your phone gripped tightly in your fingers. Your face the picture of guilt as Anakin rounded the corner, his face twisting from surprise to confusion.

”What’re you still doing up doll?” He asked, looking at his watch, “It’s almost four.”

”I couldn’t sleep.” You said quickly, realizing the phone flashlight was still on, you tapped the button the turn it off but your fingers were so sweaty you had to wipe them on your shirt before you could properly use the touchscreen.

“What are you doing?” Anakin asked, walking forward as he watched you struggle, “Looking for something?”

”No! Why- what makes you think that?” You asked, your eyebrows knitted in concern.

”Uh,” He pointed to the phone in your hand and watched as you tried and failed to feign a gasp of realization.

”Oh! Right, I could’ve sworn I heard a mouse in here, I was just about to look.” You said, gesturing to the air vent. Anakin took the phone from your hand and flicked the flashlight back on. Kneeling on the ground to look for you.

”Are you that afraid of mice?” He asked with a slight laugh, looking over his shoulder at your pink cheeks.

”No, not really.” You shook your head, “I- you just startled me when you came in I think.”

”Well I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to. I thought you’d be asleep.” He said, coming up off the ground and handling you your phone back. “If there was a mouse, he’s gone now.”

“Oh well that’s good then.” You sighed, nodding as you looked down at the vent again. He would’ve acted strangely if he had something down there… wouldn’t he have?

“Whatcha watching?” He asked, nodding toward the tv where a new episode had begun.

“Oh, it’s the X-Files.” You said with a slight smile, crawling back up into the bed. “You’ve never watched it?”

“Yeah I have, It’s been a long time though.” He said, leaning on the door frame and looking you over, taking his time as though he were looking for something. He was giving you a smile that seemed almost wistful, like he was sad about something.

“C’Mere babydoll. I don’t wanna get bar germs in the bed.” He pushed off the door frame with his foot, sauntering over to you, placing his hands on the side of the bed. Waiting patiently for you to come closer, his eyes seemingly soaking up every square inch of skin on your body. He smiled softly, cupping your cheeks in his hands to hold your face lightly and gaze down at you before moving in for a slow and loving kiss.

When he pulled away, he scratched the top of your head with his large hands, raking his fingertips through your hair. Guiding your closer again by the back of your head so that he could place a kiss to your forehead and pat your cheek.

”I’m gonna get clean.” He said, walking to his closet and stripping himself bare, tossing his clothes in his laundry basket. He turned to wink at you, biting the tip of his tongue with a big grin.

It made you blush, seeing him standing there so confidently and so comfortable in front of you. But the thing that made you bite your lip was the way his cock twitched, growing harder right before your eyes just because he was naked in front of you. He could see the lust, the admiration for him and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t an ego boost. He’d also be lying if he denied how much it flattened his heart when you looked away, not shyly. Purposefully. Anakin hid his small frown well, looking down to the side and ruffling up his hair with a tight lipped expression as he turned two the dresser to get a clean pair of boxers.

”Oh my god!” You gasped loudly, the sheets and blankets rustling as you made your way over to Anakin from where you sat on the bed. He nearly jumped out of his skin at your exclamation, turning around with wide eyes.

”What?” He asked looking around and down at himself in search of whatever had made you react so strongly.

”What the hell is this?” You asked, roughly grabbing him by his upper arm to spin him around and inspect his shoulder and back. He’d told you he had hurt himself, but he never let on like it was this bad. This was absolutely no pulled muscle.

“God this looks awful Ani!” You ran your fingers over the tender and multi-colored bruise on his right shoulder. “What happened?”

”Fuck.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes with the pointer finger and thumb of one hand. “It wasn’t a pulled muscle.”

”No shit? Really? I had no idea.” You said sarcastically, gesturing to the obviously painful bruise.

”Don’t.” He turned around, finger pointed at your face while his eyes stared down at you with darkened eyes that sent a shiver down your spine. He took a breath, closing his eyes again and when he opened them, a little bit of the light you’d grown accustomed to seeing shown through once more.

”I got in a fight.” He said simply, swallowing hard as his adam’s apple bobbed. “Just a scuffle at the bar, trying to break up an arguement. Just didn’t want to worry you princess.”

”I don’t appreciate being lied to over something so minuscule.” You scowled.

”You don’t? Oh, I had no idea.” He sneered, his voice sharp and clipped. “Sorry for trying to be mindful of you and your feelings. I didn’t think it would help our situation any, you know because you locked yourself away for a few days?”

You stepped back, the scowl fading slightly into something more sensitive. It was obvious you’d upset him, abundantly clear actually. The way he responded not only made you feel guilty for not considering the reasoning behind his lie, but also dredged up the guilt from the irony of your own words.

“I’m sorry.” You said quietly. “I should’ve reacted better, I was just- it worried me.” You admitted, walking over to pull him in for a comforting hug.

”It… It’s alright.” He sighed softly, nuzzling the top of your head to inhale your scent. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

”I understand.” You nodded, even though you didn’t really. He’d been acting so unpredictably as of late that it was starting to worry you in more ways than one.

“Do you?” He asked, the tone of his voice making it sound less like a question and more like a tease, though his eyes suggested it was serious.

”I think maybe you’re just really stressed or… or maybe something’s bothering you?” You ventured carefully not wanting to upset him again. “You’ve been acting different.”

”You haven’t spoken to my mom. Have you?” He asked, his eyebrow shooting up as he spoken.

”What?” You asked with a bit of a confused laugh. “No, I haven’t.”

He studied your face, searching for deception hidden beneath you confident denial and he was pleased to find none. He monitored your phone, he could hear you conversations, but you were aware of that and he was worried you might’ve found a way to bypass all his precautions.

”Okay.” He nodded. “Sweetheart, I’ve got- I need to… you know what? I think we should probably have this conversation after I put some pants on.” He said stepping back and giving you a smirk at the blush on your cheeks.

”R-right, I forgot.” You said, biting your bottom lip and allowing him to leave the room to shower. The second he closed the bathroom door you moved so quickly to the vent along the baseboard of the wall that you thought you might’ve given yourself rug burn on your knees when you dropped down to check it for yourself.

Empty.

Part Eighteen

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@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwars @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco @demieyesore @hemmoxloser

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

[fluff-n-cookies]

NOT PROOF READ

Gender neutral

Something something Izuku Midoriya and the best friend that he likes to think that he's better than.(some angst with a happy ending to quwell my heart.)

Izuku Midoriya and his best friend, one with NO quirk, and NO other friends. they're pretty stupid too, the type of person with B's and C'son their report card.

they don't have that many dreams, they're simply just "Enjoying" school.

like what type of a person does that? do you have no passion? No light in your life? you're just there without thought, why? weird.

but regardless, Izuku keeps them around, they're nice to have when Kacchan's being an asshole, so then he's not the only one that's being yelled at.

They're also quirkless, equally as useless as he.

they're fun to hang with... sometimes.

I mean... they're kind of annoying, they laugh too loud looking back, and they talk a lot about themselves, and don't really do much other than complain and gossip, but beggars can't be choosers! this is the only friend that he has, an annoying friend is better than no friends right?

that is until, All might, when he comes into the picture.

and suddenly the world's so much bigger than those Friday night gaming sessions on the living room Xbox, it's bigger than going to merch pop ups to buy limited edition All might figurines and getting signatures from smaller hero's.

it's bigger, so much bigger, than comforting the other about being quirkless and useless.

And suddenly, it's about training, it's about learning, it's about growing into a hero. it's about fighting for civilians and keeping those who you love safe.

It's about UA.

It's about the USJ attack and fighting Shigaraki.

It's about the Sports Festival.

It's about One For All and All For One.

It's about Stain.

But more so, it's about Ochako and Iida, about Todoroki and Tsu and Momo-

and suddenly, you aren't a part of him anymore.

you aren't the person he comes running to when Kacchan calls him Useless, he doesn't come over to talk about the newest emerging hero's.

there's aren't pictures of you on the wall, they've been replaced by new pictures of his adventures at UA. The collectibles that you bought him for Christmas pushed to the back of his shelves to make room for little All might themed tickets that Ochako found at the dollar store.

you doesn't text you much anymore, when you do shoot him a

'hey Izuku! we haven't talked in a while, wanna go to that one coffee shop to catch up? :3'

it's met with

'I'm sorry I'm replying so late! I was with Todoroki and Iida training. I'll text you later.'

he never texted you later. or ever again really.

because you're here, still quirk less, still useless, still so very hurt by all those things that Kacchan said.

You're here, not a hero, you're a civilian, no dreams and no goals, only you.

and without that green haired boy that grew up with you, he left, and now he's saving the world.

He forgot your birthday.

[tadpoleteef]

gamer girl 👾

18+ MINORS DNI

word count: 1.5k

pairing: austin x female!reader

warnings: SMUT, oral (m receiving), lil fem dom???, unprotected sex

summary: austin’s playing video games with friends and isn’t paying attention to you. long story short you end up trying to dom him which obvi doesn’t go far and then you ride him in his gaming chair yassssss.

a/n: hiii so i’ve been reading fan fiction for years and i’ve always wanted to write it. i wrote an austin butler one shot like 2 years ago, posted it, but it was just awful so i deleted it. then i had a the summer i turned pretty phase, and wrote a one shot about jeremiah fisher confessing his love to you. this story was also deleted because of how just awful it was. anyway, i think my writing has gotten a little better soooo here’s a little smut one shot for ya.

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

it was around 8pm on a saturday night, and you and austin were at home, spending the rest of your night in your little apartment. you were sitting on your bed in a short white lace nightgown, scrolling through instagram. austin was across the room sitting at his desk, playing a game on his xbox. he had been playing for a little while now, screaming at his friends into the microphone and raging everytime he had to redo the level.

getting a little tired of his lack of attention, you put your phone down and walked over to where he was sitting. you stood behind him, rubbing his shoulders gently. he relaxed into your touch, leaning back into the chair with his eyes still locked on the screen in front of him. you leaned down to his ear and whispered,

“are you having fun, handsomel?”

it took him a second to respond, so you tapped his shoulder lightly which made him look back at you then back at the screen.

“uh- what? oh yeah im fine sorry im about to die”

right when he said that the tv went black and the words “game over” illuminated the screen. you could hear his friends complaining through the microphone. he threw the controller down on the game, rubbing his eyebrows and letting out a sigh.

you giggled a little bit, it was funny to see a grown man get so upset over a video game. “it's okay love, just try again” you spoke. he turned around with a stern look, “i can’t just fuckin’ try again, it’s gonna take me hours to redo all this.”

you were a little taken back by his harsh tone, so you took your hands off his shoulders and rolled your eyes, annoyed that the game was getting more attention than you. you layed back on the bed staring at the ceiling. you weren’t upset that austin was choosing his game over you right now, i mean he worked practically everyday so he needed a break sometimes, you were just craving him. jeez, when were you not? you wanted his touch, his lips on yours and his domination. you wanted him right now and that was the only thing going through your mind. acting on your thoughts you walked over again but this time you stood in front of him, between him and the desk.

“baby- could you please move?” he moved his head to the left and right trying to see around your waist. you stepped closer and put your legs through the arm holes of the chair, lowering yourself onto his waist. you were now facing him, your chests together as he looked at the screen with a confused, mad look. He kissed your cheek then laid his chin on your shoulder, pressing down the buttons on the controller. you smirked knowing he had no idea what was about to come.

you started off light, moving your hips back and forth. you weren’t sure if he knew you were even moving so you applied some more pressure, fully sitting on his dick. “guys over there ov-” he stopped mid sentence. with your smirk growing bigger, you went faster, now basically dry humping him. he switched the mic setting so it was on mute and questioned “what are you doing?”

you looked at him and took off the straps of your nightgown, letting it fall down to your waist, showing off your matching white undergarments. he looked at you up and down, drinking in your figure. you had him wrapped around your finger.

you bent down to is ear and whispered, “you’re gonna sit still and act normal while i take your dick, sound good?” you cocked your head to the side, awaiting his response. he looked up at you with a shocked expression, coming from your dominance toward him. “i like it when you’re bossy.” he squeezed your thigh. “and you didn’t answer my question.” you added to his compliment. he gave you the ‘let’s see what you got look,’ and you knew you had the okay. you took a little less pressure off his waist so he could pull down his sweatpants, boxers following.

you sat down so his member was resting, hard, against your stomach. you looked away from his piercing eyes and spat onto the tip, slowly taking your thumb and spreading it around. he bit his lip and closed his eyes for a split second taking in the feeling. he snapped out of his trance quickly when his friends started yelling at him for his inactivity.

he went to respond but you stroked his cock slowly and he but his lip to hide back a moan and put the mic on mute again. you bit the inside of your cheek trying not to smile after seeing how much pleasure he was receiving. he let out a low groan when you cupped his balls slowly. you stopped your hands, looking at him. he quickly mouthed “sorry” as he disobeyed you. “not one noise from you” he nodded and you stroked him again.

after a few minutes of austin holding back moans, you could tell he was close, he was barely even focusing on the game anymore, mostly on the way your fingers gently warmed his cock. you stopped and stood up moving your panties to the side. he furrowed his eyebrows, needing more of your touch.

“how bad do you want it?” you rubbed your clit slowly in front of him. he looked down at your hand then back up at you. “really really bad” he took one hand off his controller and grabbed your waist. you switched the settings so the mic was now on and got close to it, “hi boys, austins not feeling to well, gonna let him get some rest.”

after you finished your sentence austin said bye then immediately smashed his lips into yours. the kiss was sloppy but deep, both just focusing on grabbing whatever skin you could. he pulled away and rubbed the tip against your clit gently. you sucked in a breath, knowing that meant he wanted you now. you moved forward a little more and slowly sat down. you two had just had sex two days ago but every time he first entered you, it was like you were a virgin all over again. he was without a doubt big, stretching you out as you finally sat all the way down on his cock. you moaned and let your head fall back.

wanting more, you moved your hips back and forth, placing your hands on his chest. “does that feel good angel?” he questioned, blue eyes staring into yours. “yes, oh yes” you started to go faster, austin saw your need and started fucking up into you. at the angle you two were sitting at, he was hitting your g spot with the first thrust. your moans turned into screams as he hammered into you.

“oh my god aus that's so good” you moaned and he smirked and then faster, the room becoming hotter by the second. he took one of your hands and pressed it against your stomach hard. you could feel his dick going in and out of you. “you feel my big my dick fucking your pretty pussy? gonna put a fuckin’ baby you mama”

his words brought you over the edge, and he could tell you were about to cum. he circled your clit with his fingers taking one last glance at your gorgeous body being destroyed before you cried out a moan. your orgasm sent a hot flash through your whole body. your legs were shaking and your heart was racing. without even thinking you got off austin and got on your knees in front of him, trying to help him out.

he laughed, “such a good girl helping me out” he made a makeshift ponytail with your hair and was forcing your head down. the sounds coming out of your mouth were erotic. girks and glugs filled the room and you could feel tears streaming down your face. his dick started to twitch in your mouth and you grabbed his balls again. you felt the warm cum coat your throat before you tasted it. you swallowed and took your head off him, sitting back onto your calves.

he leaned forward into the chair, grabbing your chin and making you look up at him. He had never seen anything more sexy. your hair was all frizzy, mascara running down your face onto your neck, and a mix of his cum and spit spilling down your lip. He wiped it off with his thumb and then placed it in your mouth and you sucked the mixture off.

“you really thought you could dominate me?” he laughed and helped you up, sitting you down on the bed.

“hey, i had you for like the first 10 minutes” you responded smilining.

he wiped you up, got you all clean, and took you to bed. you two ended the night off by having multiple little tickle fights, and arguing over which board game you should play next weekend. right before you drifted off you heard austin's voice softly say.

“I will admit, domination by y/n y/l/n is something we should do more often.” his words took you by surprise, but you smirked and snuggled closer to him.

yep, wrapped around your finger

[inthelittlewood]

absolutely loved the freezer commercial, its been a hot second since a minecraft video has so COMPLETELY taken me out. do you have any trivia about creating that?

Main piece of trivia is I had absolutely no idea that Phil had pre existing fridge lore LOL - what are the bloody chances?

Already DMed him to make him aware that I had no idea, otherwise it would've looked either incredibly fan boyish or like I was trying to insert myself in to someone else's joke

The only reason I went for the Phil pun in the first place is because his name rhymes with Freezer and there's the ongoing comparison between the two of us, so it felt primed

Other than that, I nearly put a new line in to the commercial based on Timmy's reaction to it, he said he was expecting a "OH YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE?!" at some point, which I nearly slipped in before the Xbox section

And as much as I make Minecraft Legends the butt of a joke in the ad, that game is actually fine, it just didn't have the longevity people anticipated which was more what I was alluding to

Then finally, the most painful piece of trivia is that I blew my voice out doing that character. I had to SCREAM, and I mean scream, like a blood curdling bellow to hit that vocal tone and thank god I got it all in one take. It was only 90 seconds or so, but it put me out for a day or so haha

Edit - WAIT! ONE MORE!

This was the original image in the fan art slot on the fridge:

I'd literally come on to tumblr to find a piece to feature / test, I opened up my questions before going to tags and saw this. Just threw it straight in

[dancingdonatello]

Hello i have a very specific request but it will not leave my mind

Reader is just entirely in love with the stars, and this is no secret. Donnie makes a lil projector thing that projects the real positions of the stars at the time, and dramatically shows it to em?? Please... thank you so frickin much

rise donnie x gn reader

How many times have you complained about light pollution? Around 500 times, according to Donnie’s data table.

That was around an average of 3.5 mentions per week. You usually mentioned it when outside, during the dark, or when Donnie dragged you in for a documentary on space.

How many times had you mentioned stars? Too many to count. Donnie gave up on that spreadsheet months ago. Oh, there you went again. His fingers itched with the need to put it into the spreadsheet. Maybe he could make a new one standing from this month and forward.

But along with stars and pollution, you had started talking about Texas and Ohio. How you could see the stars so easily from some National Parks there.

You had talked about wanting to move there when you got a job and money.

Ohio and Texas were not New York. Donnie also was sure that the sewers didn’t continue on forever through the entire country and he wasn’t sure how their tank would get through tolls on the highway.

He had two options to convince you to change your mind.

One: solve pollution.

This one was a little difficult. For one, that meant convincing a bunch of countries to stop doing what they were doing immediately and changing. Also, he was a turtle mutant that would be shot dead if he tried to contact a president or dictator’s personal phone number that he definitely did not have.

But there was also the second option: Make an alternative star system. One that would satisfy you enough to stay.

This didn’t mean just taking glow in the dark stars and sticking them on the ceiling. No. That was too basic.

He’d caught you watching time lapses of night skies before. As the Earth spun, the stars moved.

So, he’d have to make a star projector that moved. Even better, he could make it accurate to New York. This meant watching a lot of videos and somehow timing everything right.

But he was Donatello Hamato. It couldn’t take that long right?

Well.

It did. It took forever. His usual projects lasted at most six months. This took him up to close to a year. So he waited for your anniversary to gift it to you. (Luckily, your complaints on light pollution and instances of randomly staring up at the sky had only increased according to his spreadsheet.)

He already has it set up. All he needs to do is to make sure you don’t go into his room—

“No!” he shouts when he spots you opening his curtain. He runs right at you and apparently terrifies you as you jump out of his way. He trips over a sock and falls on his face, inches away from crushing his gift to you.

“Is that an Xbox?” You pick it up off the floor. “You shouldn’t leave this just lying around.”

“Haha… ha!” He snatches it away from you. “Follow me.”

He leads you all the way back to your own home. You’re obviously confused. He asked you to come to the lair and now he’s just bringing you back to your own house. Honestly, the poor turtle was just too nervous and didn’t think it though.

“Close your eyes…” He said as he placed it on your nightstand in your room.

You sat on your bed, waiting.

“Ahem. Drum roll please.” You blindly reached out for your night stand. Donnie moved the projector out of the way in time before you slammed your hands onto it.

Jeez. This thing was going to be broken before he even showed you what it really did.

“Okay. Open.”

Your eyes opened. You stared at him until he almost nervously pointed up at the ceiling. His nervousness disappeared when you gasped in excitement.

“The stars are proportional to real life, obviously scaled down to fit. They also reflect what the stars would look like over New York right now. So, as the Earth rotates, this should show the new stars that would show.”

Your jaw dropped.

“Also, it can adjust to any room you put it in.” He crossed his arms, almost posing proudly. “Happy anniversary.” He already know what is about to happen by the look in your eyes.

He steadied himself just as you launch yourself into his arms.

[lucy90712]

Brother’s best friend- Hector Fort

WC: 2.5k

One rule 'no dating my teammates'. 

One rule 'my sister is off limits'.

We each had one rule to follow but of course you always want what you can't have. I didn't mean to break the rule it really wasn't my intention but when Marc took me to one of his training sessions I was drawn to Hector straight away. Not only was he by far the most attractive guy there he was also really sweet to me and maybe a little flirty which only made me want him more. For a while I held back as my brothers words circled round my brain every time I thought about getting to know Hector better but eventually the attraction was too much to ignore it was like we were drawn to each other. 

It started out innocently we would just talk to each other while he had a break in training and I'd hang out with him when Marc invited him over. That innocence didn't last long though as when we finally exchanged numbers, without Marc's knowledge of course, all we did was flirt with each other which led to us arranging a secret date. I was nervous for the date as I want sure if we would have a real connection or if it's just easy for us to flirt with each other but we actually got on really well and there was definitely a connection there. We went on a few more dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend which was a good 6 months ago now. Over those 6 months we have only told a total of 3 people one of them was my best friend as I use going to see her as an excuse to see Hector and the other two are some of Hector and Marc's teammates as they caught us kissing after a game once. Everyone that knows is sworn to secrecy and so far they've kept that up because they know if Marc finds out they knew they'll be in trouble too. 

As much as it's been hard to hide things from Marc it's definitely worth it. Seeing as it's the one rule he set if he finds out he's definitely going to be mad at both me and Hector. He's a great brother but he's definitely over protective but I guess that comes with being my older brother even if it is just by a few minutes. There are times that I worry he'll find out without me even saying anything because he'll sense that I'm lying. They say twins always have a special connection which is definitely true for me and Marc but he's yet to figure out that I'm hiding something from him which is almost unheard of as I've never kept a secret from him for more than a week before. 

Recently it's become harder to hide everything as Hector and I want to spend more time together but that means I have to have more excuses to go out or sleep somewhere else and I can only think of so many. To try and help keep things under wraps Hector has been coming over more as he can hang out with Marc and then secretly break away to spend time with me. That's exactly what's happening today Hector wanted to see me so he made out like he wanted to spend time with my brother so he's coming over and I'll join them so I can be with Hector. 

Time seemed to really drag on but eventually I heard the front door and two voices downstairs which meant they were finally home. As much as I wanted to run down straight I couldn't as that would be weird and Marc would definitely ask questions so I waited a bit before grabbing my water bottle and heading downstairs. Like always my brother ignored my existence but Hector looked over and smiled so I smiled back and even kissed the air as my brother was far too focused on turning on the Xbox. Once I filled my water bottle I sat myself on the sofa next to Hector as there was still space next to him and he helpfully sat closest to the kitchen. 

"Oh hey I didn't know you were home" Marc said finally acknowledging my presence 

"You never do but I had homework to finish so I decided to stay in today and get it done" I said 

"Well you can join us if you want that's if you want to be beaten again" he laughed 

"Maybe I'll beat you this time I've been practicing" I said 

"Since when?" He asked 

"Oh while you're at training I've been practicing" I replied 

That was a lie I've been playing with Hector at his place but luckily I can think quickly and Marc still seems none the wiser. We all played fifa for a while and of course I didn't beat Marc but I definitely did better than I used to so Hector's coaching has really helped me out. I took a break from playing to make dinner for everyone but the boys kept playing after dinner. Eventually it got dark and time went on so Marc suggested that Hector stay over as it was late and they both had training in the morning. Sometimes it's just too easy this is exactly what I was hoping would happen and yet again my brother pulls through in helping me break the one rule he set for me which he does more than he knows. 

I left and got myself ready for bed then all I had to do was wait. My phone kept me entertained until my bedroom door opened slowly to reveal my lovely boyfriend who was trying to be as quiet as possible so that my brother wasn't alerted that he was here. Once he made it past all the squeaky floor boards and to the other side of my bed he hopped in and opened his arms for me. Of course I immediately attached myself to Hector and he wrapped his arms around me as tightly as he could. He peppered kisses all over my face before his lips finally met mine in a passionate kiss which I've been waiting for all day. 

"I've missed you" Hector said kissing me again 

"I've missed you too" I replied 

"You know maybe we should tell Marc we've been together for a while now and I hate not being able to see you as much as I want and having to sneak around is getting harder" I said 

"I would love to not have to hide things but I value my life too much you know he would kill me if he found out that we're together especially for as long as we have been" he said 

"I know but one day we have to say something we can't live like this forever" I pointed out 

"I know but let's leave it a bit longer if he hasn't found out when we've been together for a year we can tell him then" Hector reasoned 

"Fine but until then you better give me lots of love" I laughed 

"Don't you worry I will give you everything I've got to give" he smiled 

Hector and I stayed up longer than we probably should've but we just wanted to make the most of the time together. We had to wake up early too so that Hector could leave my room before Marc wakes up but spending the time together was definitely worth the lack of sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Marc didn't catch me and Hector when he stayed in my room the other night and last night I said I was staying with my best friend but really I spent the night at Hector's. We had a great time he set up candles and cooked dinner so we could have a romantic meal together which was really nice as we never get to do that because we can't go out together. I really enjoyed getting to spend a romantic evening with Hector as we don't get to spend much time together and we never really get to have proper dates unless Marc is away which isn't very often. Hector really stuck to his promise too as he made me feel so loved and definitely gave me everything he's got all night long. 

Sadly he had to leave for training quite early but he let me stay until I needed to leave for school and let me lock up with the spare key he gave me a little while back. As soon as I arrived at school people were giving me weird looks which I thought was odd but sometimes this happens when Marc does something good with the team as people know we are twins. It was only when I got the same look from my friends that I started to consider it was something to do with me that was garnering all this attention. To begin with they wouldn't tell me simply just giggling thinking that I was joking around but I wasn't I had no idea what was so funny.

"Seriously guys what's going on what have I done?" I asked 

"Have you seriously not noticed" one of my friends laughed 

"Noticed what?" I asked getting annoyed 

"The hickeys on your neck I mean they are everywhere and they don't exactly blend in" my best friend finally said 

"Shit I didn't notice I got ready really quickly this morning I didn't really pay any attention" I panicked 

"Is it really that bad?" I then asked 

"It's definitely bad you will want to try and cover them before you see your brother if you don't want him to kill you" another friend said 

"And Hector" my best friend added 

"Wait these are from Hector" one friend said 

"I thought you weren't allowed to date your brother's teammates" another added 

"First off yes Hector we've been dating for a while but we've been keeping it quiet clearly until now and second no I'm not supposed to date any of the boys in the team which is why Marc will kill us both if he finds out" I spiralled 

"Don't worry about it right now you should get home first just put some concealer on and keep it on until the bruises are gone" my best friend said trying to calm me down 

"You're right and remember no one say anything about Hector as you'll be on trial for being involved in our murders ok" I said 

They all promised me and we headed to our first class. In every class I sat with my hand covering my neck as I don't need anyone else wondering who seemingly assaulted my neck and I definitely don't want the teachers seeing. It was a long day with all the looks I was getting the boys teasing me asking who the lucky guy was as usually no one comes near me as they are all scared of Marc. Eventually though the end of the day came and I practically ran home to cover up the bruises which only seemed to get worse throughout the day. 

When I finally got a good look at myself in the mirror I could see what everyone was looking it was bad like really bad. As soon as I get the chance I'm definitely going to kill Hector for this as not only was it embarrassing to look like this at school I now I have to be really careful not to rub off the concealer I'll need on my neck for the next few days. Once I started applying makeup to my neck I realised that not even my best concealer was going to fix this. You could still see the deep purple marks under no matter how much I put on so in the end I just took it all off. I'd rather have Marc see the hickeys as they are than see my attempt to cover them as I know he'll be more suspicious if I'm trying to hide them. The only thing I did was put some cream on that will hopefully help the bruises go away a bit quicker. Seeing as there was nothing I could do I just had to wait to see what would happen when Marc came home. 

The front door opening and closing startled me as I wasn't expecting Marc to be home for another hour but in he came along with Hector. Marc barely walked a few steps in before he stopped and silence filled the room. He looked at me then my neck and I looked at him then at Hector who's jaw might as well have been on the floor he was that shocked looking at what he'd done. Then it happened Marc turned to Hector and saw his expression and suddenly the vibe in the room changed. I watched Marc as his hands balled up into fists and anger filled his eyes. I don't know how but he knew he finally figured it out. 

"Are you serious" Marc broke the silence 

"Have you seriously been fucking my sister behind my back" he pretty much screamed 

"What no why would you think that" Hector said clearly panicked 

"Well my sisters neck looks like a vampire attacked it and you had scratches all down your back this morning so unless this is a huge coincidence there is something going on here" Marc continued to scream 

"Ok fine I'll admit that I did that but it's not just sex I promise" Hector said 

"Yeah we've been together for over 6 months now we aren’t just fuck buddies we are actually together" I added 

"There was one rule for both of you and you broke it and then thought you could hide it from me how long did you plan to keep this a secret forever until you were married" Marc raged 

"I'll admit we should've told you sooner but we both knew we were breaking the rules and didn't want this to happen but I can say with full confidence that I love your sister I really do I would never dream of hurting her she's everything to me so I'm sorry we hid this but we just didn't want to anger you" Hector explained 

"Do you really love her?" Marc asked calming down slightly 

"I do she makes me so happy and I love her a lot" Hector said 

"Do you love him?" Marc asked me 

"Yeah he treats me well and he puts a smile on my face" I said 

"I guess if you two are happy together there's nothing I can do but no kissing in front of me or I will kill you both and if you ever hurt her bro I won't hesitate to beat your ass" Marc threatened 

"Understood" Hector said 

"Thank you for understanding we really are happy together I'm just sorry you had to find out this way" I said hugging Marc then going over to Hector 

Hector smiled at me and held my waist gently which actually put a small smile on Marc's face. I don't think it will be long before he comes to terms with our relationship and lets us be but for now I don't think I want to test that theory. 

[aggro-my-beloved]

Prom? (Shaw Pack x Listeners Imagine)

note: I just made an A03 to post my works on as well, please feel free to follow and interact with my stuff there if that's more comfortable for you! (@aggro_my_beloved)--I also realize it's not prom season, but I never got to go to mine and am simply coping. TLDR: let me live :)

pairings: miloxdarlin' (non-canon), asherxarden (non-canon), davidxasher? (non-canon) davidxangel, miloxsweetheart, samxdarlin', asherxbabe

warning(s): mentions of childhood trauma, gambling addictions, alcohol addictions, sex addictions, an overall depiction of a horrible father.

summary: The pack reminisces about Dahlia High's prom night, and Marie may have overshared a little too much about hers.

word count: 2.2k

estimated read time: 10.5 mins

2010

Marie drew back to admire her son, donning a crooked cotton tie, his father’s black leather loafers scuffed to hell and loose on his feet, as well as a toothy smile. The improvisations of his wear are minor faults, hardly noticeable to the naked eye with thanks to his mother’s stitchwork. The three-piece suit tunic that once hung to his lower thighs, and pants that skirted the floor now fit him like he was born in it. 

“Look how handsome you are,” Marie clasped her hands and guided them to shield her face. It may hide her gummy smile but does little for her eyes prickling with tears. 

“Ma, please don’t cry.” Milo’s plea proved fruitless, as the interlocked fingers separated to wipe desperately at the dark circles beneath her eyes. Perhaps it was the endless nights the woman spent hunching over a sewing machine or the number of times Mrs. Chen, who owned the dry cleaner on 3rd, sent the old suit through the cycle. The stench of cigarette smoke was seemingly embedded into the fabric no matter what she tried. “Like bad tattoo, Miss Greer—it cannot be undone!” 

Milo didn’t mind the lingering smell, for he’s had years of training his nose not to curl in the backseat for fear of his dad’s scornful gaze clocking him in the rearview mirror. One particular coughing fit from his younger years resulted in the boy being sent to his room for being disrespectful—but he heard his father explaining to his mother amidst his tramping down the hall that the glaze over his eyes and reddening cheeks was “simply hay fever.” 

He hoped that, for the sake of his date, he could mask the smell with enough cologne to go somewhat undetected.

 

“You don’t think Dad will be upset about his clothes missing, do ya?” Milo’s nervous chuckle hangs in the air.

“When he waltzes in the door from this week’s business trip, I doubt he’ll be awake enough to notice.” Marie’s copious euphemisms for Colm and his dangerous compulsions did not go unnoticed by Milo at age seven. The ten years added to his belt only gave him time to decode them. Awake really means sober. Business trips are in reference to casinos, bars, or brothels—a very flexible term, to the boy’s surprise. He wants to applaud the front he’d seen through like glass since childhood.

 

“Besides,” her hand occupies itself with the navy tie, still askew, and aligns the windsor to perch evenly below his folded collar, “this is your night. You deserve to feel special, and so does this date of yours.”

 

Milo scoffs, fighting his eyes not to roll up to the popcorn ceiling. Facing his mother’s curiosity was no harder than the water stain from the upstairs neighbor’s dishwasher.

 

“How’d I know this would come up?” 

“Come on, I’m your mother. I deserve to know who my little boy’s become so smitten for.” 

“You’ll see them one day, ma. Patience is a virtue, after all.” It’s Marie’s turn to scoff and turn her cheek.

“Please, I only said that to get you to wait till Christmas for your Xbox.” She eyes the clock on the wall, reading six-thirty. 

“You said the gang would be here to pick you up by now, right?” Milo also cocks his head to see the time. 

“With Ash driving, they’ll be lucky to make it here alive.” His mother’s eyes are boring into his instantly, with furrowed brows and a frown to complement them. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing.” Another nervous chuckle filled the space before it was cut off by a gasp. Milo’s hands pat around his jacket pockets, eyes flying around the room frantically. “Shit, I forgot-“

“No, you didn’t.” Marie shuffles to Milo’s desk, opening a lower compartment where she’d stowed away his boutonnière and his date’s corsage. “I figured this would be a spot you never check. You said their favorite color is—“

“Yes, yes oh this is perfect! Thank you, ma.” Milo leans forward to kiss her cheek and envelope her petite body into a hug. 

“Still don’t know this person’s name, don’t you think that’s kinda odd?” A series of knocks resound on the front door, cueing Milo to sigh and extend an offer he knew his mother couldn’t refuse. 

“Would you like to meet them, ma?” 

Marie raced him down the hall before he could finish his question. There’s an untimed beating in his chest that he can’t stop. Is it from the excitement of tonight, or who he’d be spending it with? 

“Hi there, I’m M-“ 

“Hey, Mrs. Greer.” The figure lowered their head to the ground and dug the toe of their shoe into the concrete outside. Their hair appeared silky to the touch, skin looking just as soft as it glistened in the setting sun. The jewel tone of their wear complemented their complexion—comparable to a god(dess), their aura was all beauty and grace. 

“Tank?!” Marie gasps. “Oh my gosh, please don’t tell Milo I called you that. He isn’t supposed to know I still eavesdrop on his conversations. You know what, let’s pretend this conversation never happened.” 

“What never happened?” Milo tried not to choke on the cologne he’d spritzed on himself before dashing to find his mother. 

Marie and Tank exchange a knowing look and suspicious smiles. They reply in unison, “Nothing.” 

He squints his eyes, emitting a skeptical hum. “Already keeping secrets from me, huh?” He folds his arms defensively. “I expect this from you, but you…” His finger wags back and forth from his date to his mother.

“Consider it a trust exercise, babe.” Tank steps inside fully to clutch Milo’s hand with a shy smile. 

“Babe,” Marie whispers, “so that means…you two?” 

“Oh c’mon Mrs. G, it was only a matter of time.” Blonde, spiked hair, and sunglasses peek around the corner of the door, and Asher’s dazzling smile introduces itself to the three. “Who knows, maybe there will come a day you realize what you’ve been looking for has been here that whole time.” He lifted the sunglasses to shoot Marie a wink. 

“Oh god, please ignore him. He’s on his third redbull and feeling extra bold.” Tank explains with a shake of her head. “Keep dreaming, Asher.” They add.

“And feel free to not wake up.” Milo chides, urging the two to giggle. “You look good, by the way.” He and Tank lock eyes.

“Thanks,” their eyes flicker up and down to take in their date. They add in a low voice, “You’re not so bad yourself.” 

“You don’t have a date, Asher?” Inquires Marie. Silence falls between the three teens before they’re all laughing wildly at the parent’s cluelessness. 

“What’s so funny? Asher’s…” The boy’s eyes grow big, awaiting Marie’s words of flattery and reassurance. His ego deflates when she starts over. “He could have a date if he wanted to.” 

“He does.” Milo squeaks through his laughter. “Well, in a way.” 

“If you can call it that.” A low, rough voice disrupted everyone’s laughter as David marched into the room. 

“David. Oh! Wait, you two…huh, strangely that makes more sense than I thought.” Marie hums, shrugging her shoulders.

“What?”

“Huh?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I’m confused.”

Marie opens and closes her mouth, unsure of how to respond. “Wait, you two aren’t...?”

“I’m going with Arden. She and I agreed that if we couldn’t find dates by this weekend, we would go together.” 

“Pity date.” Tank coughs into their elbow. 

“Where is Arden? Is she hiding back there?” Marie cranes her neck for a better angle at the apartment’s threshold.

“Waiting in the car with Chrissy and Amanda. And it’s still a date.” Asher argues, sparing a glance towards his fellow pack member. “That’s more than big guy over here can say.” Asher juts a thumb toward David’s looming body in the back. 

“Awe, David, why aren’t you going with anybody?” Growing a few inches this past summer (in several places) along with enough facial hair for a 5 o’clock shadow promised David enough street cred for a few romantic ventures. His pack mates went as far as placing bets on which of their peers would win their friend over enough to accompany him to the dance but were all left in shock as he turned every choice of theirs down. Marie’s question didn’t faze David. He’d explained it a million times to his friends and father this past week. 

“Going stag. It’s just a personal choice.” The mom snorts at this.

“I remember when I went to my senior prom. It was the same night your father and I got together. Nobody had asked me, and he was planning to “go stag” as well. A couple of drinks of punch and one slow dance later, we were in the locker rooms just—“Four pairs of eyes were on Marie now, who realized she’d gotten too caught up in reminiscing. 

“Uh, forget about it. The end’s not that important.” She waves off with darkening cheeks and a sheepish smile.

“I think it’s kind of interesting. I bet the songs and outfits were so much different years ago.” Tank interjects with a smile. 

“Yeah, how long ago was your prom, Ma?” Adds Milo, who takes the opportunity to snake his arm around Tank’s waist. They sidle up closer to him as a result.

“How old are you?” 

_________________________________________

Present Day

“I can’t believe how long ago that was.” The four friends peer down at the photo of them gussied up and taken by Marie. Asher was still in his sunglasses and throwing up a "rock on" sign with his tongue out, David had his arms crossed and was rolling his eyes at the ridiculous pose. Tank and Milo stood back to back, finger guns held under their chins and against their chests with goofy smiles. Fourteen years of the developed picture left it with sun spots and wrinkled corners, but the memories of that night still felt new to each of them. 

“We look sick as hell!” Asher nods. “Well, except David. He just looked sick of us.” 

“Some things never change.” Angel pipes up, daring to bring a finger to the corner of their mate’s mouth and lift it. 

“I think it was just you that he was sick of, Ash. There’s only so much pop music this stick-in-the-mud can handle.” Tank points. 

“Hey, it wasn’t my idea to play Taylor Swift the whole car ride there! You’re pointing fingers at the wrong guy.” Asher raises his hands defensively. 

“Well, it wasn’t me either. Only Amanda and Arden listened to her.” 

“Didn’t Christian request the DJ to play Paper Rings at our wedding?” Babe tilts their head in wonder, breaking their concentration away from the photo. 

“I’d love to see you in that getup now, darlin’.” Sam chuckles against Tank’s ear.

“You’ll have to dig in my closet for it. I’m not even sure I still own that.” They laugh to themselves, suddenly nostalgic for their high school days. 

“I have a question: whatever happened between you two?” Sweetheart inquires, looking between the past couple. There wasn’t a trace of jealousy in their voice, their aura, just pure curiosity. 

“I think it was just a summer fling. By the time graduation came around, neither of us felt that mate connection with each other. So what was the point of pursuing it, you know?” Tank nods along to Milo’s brief explanation as if they were mentally checking off every word. 

“Ooh, ooh! Remember how good the punch was?” Ash interrupts. 

“I’m surprised you remember. You had half the bowl.” Says Milo. 

“So?” Asher replies. The three all choke back laughter. 

“The shit was practically jungle juice! I could taste seven different liquors from one sip. And I’m pretty sure David escorted you to the locker rooms 'cause you were about to hurl.” Tank says. 

“The locker rooms, huh? Did you two happen to share a dance…one of the slow variety?” Milo quirks an eyebrow. 

“...it’s a possibility,” David mumbles with a scowl. Everybody on the couch begins giggling mischievously. “Wasn’t my fault the little shit wouldn’t let me drive him home because Hey There Delilah started playing. Anyway, it was barely a slow dance, he was just leaning on me the whole time whining about how nauseous he felt.”

“Hope y’all left room for Jesus in that gym,” Babe smirks. 

“I think I also shared a slow dance with uh…Kathy Boone? No, Karly B–”

“Karly Brown! As in our classmate in the third period, Karly Brown? So, you technically went to prom with Karly Brown?” Tank leans forward on the loveseat occupied by them and Sam, who’s now invested in his mate’s eager tone. 

"Two slow dances with two different people? On the same night? You little slut!" Angel hisses teasingly. 

"I can't believe I got Karly Brown's sloppy seconds," Asher whines. I thought what we had was special, Davey!" The alpha chooses to ignore their pestering in favor of Tank's question. 

“In a way, I g-guess.” David shrugs. “Why?”

“You two owe me twenty bucks!” They declare. "Suck it!" 

[l3viat8an]

HEY RO!!!!! 🌹

I don't remember which game or lesson it came from but I remember a scene where MC and Beel were looking through the fridge for a snack and there was a pudding(?) With Mammon's name on it and Beel said "Oh, this one has Mammon's name on it. That means it's up for grabs!" (Or something along those lines, I can't remember exactly) And It got me thinking...

Mammon putting a collar on MC with his name on it to "claim them as his own" but the other brothers just completely disregard it. In all honesty it only makes them more attracted to you. And they always make you leave it on while they fuck you! Mc is just passed around the brothers "Mom said it's my turn on the Xbox" style. The brothers also "use" you to get back at Mammon for various things he's done to them.

Lucifer: (this bitch is just on a power trip honestly)

He calls you in the middle of movie night with Mammon and tells you to come to his office right away. After you've been gone for some time Mammon comes after you to find you. He busts into Lucifer's office to see you absolutely covered in Luci's cum and Lucifer has you in a mating press on his desk, just ruthlessly ramming into you. He looks Mammon straight in the eye and chuckles sadistically as you cum on his cock again. And he just keeps on bullying your hole as he scoffs at Mammon

"Look at how pathetic you are~ Not even being able to protect your most valuable possession from me~"

Leviathan: (This bitch wants his money/stuff back, but for now he'll use you as retribution)

Mammon had gone out shopping and you were just chillin in his room, sitting on his bed and playing on your phone. Then Levi bursts into the room panting, fuming and yelling about his limited edition Ruri-chan figure. His gaze immediately locks on you and he grabs you. He drags you back to his room, mumbling about paying Mammon back for what he's done. He ties you up and edges you for hours until eventually, Mammon comes looking for you. Mammon is obviously enraged by the whole situation and Levi is just grinning sadistically, still torturing you, while Mammon throws a tantrum

"You took my prized possession, so it's only fair that I take yours"

Beelzebub: (Mammon ate his food)

You and Mammon are chillin on the couch, watchin some tv, but mostly talking. Beel wanders into the kitchen for a snack. Soon you hear a loud growl from the kitchen and Beel storms into the living room absolutely livid. He doesn't say a word to Mammon and justs plucks you off the couch and tosses you over his shoulder. He marches to the dining room with Mammon in tow protesting loudly. Once he gets there, he plops you down on the table and pulls up a chair. He rips off your bottoms and just goes to town eating you. He holds you in place (because Mammon is probably tryna pull you away) and just eats you for as long as he feels like even through your pleas for him to slow down.

"You ate my food, so now I'm going to eat them instead"

(Obviously everything is consensual w safewords and such in place. They do love you after all)

~🍒

Levi’s?????? Hsksheuwban-

Lemme just add Satan cuz this idea is lovely~ 🍒~

Satan’s been roped into tutoring you and Mammon again, but Mammon skipped. Coming up with some lame excuse like he had a photo shoot or something-

And while Satan’s always happy to get some time alone with you, this means he’ll have to tutor Mammon separately……and ofc you’re still walking around with that damned collar with Mammon’s name on it!! unless you end up distracted-

And that’s how Mammon finds you a few hours later, he walked into the library already sayin’ how he’s sorry he late and how his shoot ran long, only to look over and see you bent over the table while Satan pounds you from behind.

Satan doesn’t even falter as he makes eye contact with Mammon, “You’re late.”

[generalllimaginesss]

Loom

Trevor Zegras imagine based on Zach Bryan’s song Loom…solely my interpretation of the song.

As always there will probably be mistakes, but I hope you enjoy!

Heads up: Jordan is Y/N’s bf

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year. Also, I am alive, just going through a different stage of life and trying to find my passion for writing again.

How do I make you fall in love with me?

And how would I let you know I care?

And how would I say that the man your laying with is not the man that should be laying there?

How would a boy like me put it?

A man with some sense probably wouldn’t,

But I don’t give a damn, I am not a smart man

I’m gonna say some words I shouldn’t.

Some would say that Trevor Zegras’ best friend was Jack Hughes, Jamie Drysdale, Cole Caufield, or some random hockey player. That person would be partially correct, Trevor loved all of his friends deeply. However Y/N Y/L held a spot in his heart for best friend. Their families had been close friends since before the two were ever even a thought. They had watched each other grow up and turn into the young adults that they were today.

Where Trevor was outgoing and charismatic, Y/N was laid back and reserved. They balanced each other out in the most perfect way. Trevor’s flirty personality was something that the girl had grown used to, she didn’t take him seriously when he commented on her body, or made advances. That was Trevor, and there was no changing that.

Things started to change, however, when Y/N started dating somebody in college. Trevor had been drafted by the Ducks, so the two really only saw the each other on random FaceTime calls or holidays when they both happened to be home. Y/N lived clear across the country, but she loved watching her best friend show out in Anaheim.

“What are you doing?” Trevor’s voice echoed from Y/N’s phone throughout her apartment. Trevor had just gotten home from a game, his hair still wet from the shower he took, but his FaceTime with Y/N was a priority.

“I’m cleaning up. Jordan is on his way and I don’t want the apartment to look like a wreck,” she explained as she wiped the kitchen counters.

“Why the hell is he still in the picture? I thought we had a conversation about his douchey tendencies,” Trevor questioned as he began to play his Xbox.

“I don’t know, he’s just what I envisioned as my future. We’ve got similar beliefs, he loves my family, he’s kinda hot….there’s just something about him that I can’t let go of,” Y/N rambled on as she lit a candle. She walked back over to her phone, only her forehead showing on the camera, and watched as Trevor bit his lip in concentration.

He was acting like the whole ordeal was strictly a worried best friend, but in reality it ate him alive that his best friend was being treated like she was replaceable. In Trevor’s eyes she was far from replaceable. There would never be anybody that could take that place in his life, and he prayed to God that he could show her how she deserved to be treated.

“He’s a fucking prick, Y/N. I mean he went golfing with his buddies when your grandmother died. Who was left picking up the pieces? Me,” Trevor rolled his eyes just thinking about that instance where he realized how shitty of a boyfriend Jordan was.

“In his defense, we had only been dating for a few weeks. Like, that’s a lot of emotion for the beginning of a relationship, so I get it. It would have been awkward,” Y/N defended him, resulting in Trevor tossing his remote to the side and looking at Y/N.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m almost positive that he’s only with you because you’re hot and gave him sex the first date,” Trevor couldn’t stop it from rolling off his tongue. As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to grab them back and destroy them. He knew Y/N confided in him about intimate things in her life, and for him to be throwing them in her face broke and unspoken rule.

“Fuck you, Trevor,” Y/N’s voice rose slightly as a tear threatened to spill out of her eye.

“I didn’t mean it, Y/N,” he tried to apologize, but Y/N was having none of it.

“Yes you did, dumbass,” she responded as she ended the call.

Trevor didn’t know how to go about these emotions with his best friend, but all he knew was that he had to do something about it. He couldn’t take it out on her or anybody that had interest in her.

And I had a dream I was falling

And maybe that’s a fucked up metaphor

Maybe it just means, when I meet you in my dreams

Nothing stops me from going through the floor

Almost a week had passed from the time that Trevor had a word vomit and the present day. There had been a few messages between the two since then, but not the regular communication that the two were used to. Trevor had finished a workout and could not get her off of his mind. No matter what, all he could see was her face of hurt from his poor word choice.

As soon as he got home, he crashed on the couch. His muscles and mind were exhausted from a long day’s work.

He didn’t know if it was because she was weighing on his mind so heavily, or if it was because he was so tired, but he dreamt of a life where him and Y/N were totally in love.

“I’m gonna marry you one day, Y/L/N,” he held her in his arms and kissed her temple. She tasted sweet, like the vanilla body wash that she always used. He swore he could smell strawberries in her hair, a few pieces lingering on his face as he pulled away and looked at her.

“And what makes you so sure of that, Z?” She playfully bantered back. Her cheeks were rosy, but it could have been from the summer sun that they had been in all day.

“Because nobody will ever love you the way I do,” he whispered as he closed in on her light pink lips.

Before the kiss had finished, Trevor jolted awake. The sound of Jamie closing the door interrupting his slumber. He had been out cold for a good 3 hours, sweat drenching the curls that covered the nape of his neck.

“You good, Z?” Jaime asked from across the living room.

“No, man. I don’t think I am,” he groaned as he got up, patting Jaime on the shoulder and heading to his room. He climbed into his bed while scrolling through his phone, hoping to see his best friend’s name pop up on something. He reread their last texts going over plans for their summer break coming up. They weren’t the normal talks of exciting things, but discussing who was and wasn’t going to be there. The only thing that could make matters worse was the fact that Jordan would be there for a wedding that they were all invited to.

Trevor plugged his phone in on his nightstand and tried to go back to sleep as best as he could, but the thought of his girl made the task feel impossible. He settled for staring at the ceiling fan until it lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

And I know all the bad things about you

But I still think you’re the purest of our kind

I remember being younger with an awful pining hunger

For a good that a boy could never find

And the fear of a man still left behind

Trevor always thought he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that he fell in love with his best friend, but the plane ride back to Bedford gave him plenty of time to rethink that. All of the memories of growing up with the girl seemed to pass as a blur, but he could remember one night that the two were playing truth or dare with a group of friends. The two of were probably 15, at most, going through that awkward stage of freshman year and trying to figure out who they were were.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Trevor displayed a devilish grin as she rolled her eyes and groaned.

She gave it a considerable thought. Trevor knew some pretty embarrassing things about her. He knew that she carried her childhood blanket everywhere she went until she was twelve. He knew that she was the one that stole her grandfather’s dentures and tried to put them in the dog’s mouth. He knew every single guy that she claimed to have a crush on, so she definitely knew what she wouldn’t pick.

“Dare, but please go easy on me, jerk,��� she practically begged her best friend. Nothing could prepare her for what he decided, however.

“Kiss me,” he smiled as the whole group of friends giggled and pushed Y/N towards him.

Trevor thought back to how it was a simple peck on the lips, but he distinctly remembered the nerves in his stomach and the race of his heart after it happened.

Y/N had immediately wiped it off and ran to wash her mouth under the sink, leaving the group in fits of laughter. Everybody except Trevor, of course. He kept his appearance of the clown of the group, continuing on with the game like he didn’t just steal his best friend’s first kiss.

The sound of the captain of the plane interrupted his thoughts, announcing the plane’s landing in LaGuardia. Trevor took one AirPod out as everybody began to get their carry on bags and joined in the jostling in the aisle.

After picking up his checked bag, he began to look for his brother’s car outside of the airport. Immediately, he spotted his little brother, but nothing could have prepared him for seeing Y/N standing beside him, sporting a wide smile with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

He gave his brother a hug and then turned to Y/N, rolling his eyes as he forced her into a hug. She gave up her tough persona and buried her head into his shoulder, squeezing back.

“I thought you were still pissed at me, to be honest,” he let go of her and ruffled her hair.

“I was for a while, but I had to keep the surprise so I just kept it up,” she admitted and stuck her tongue out at him. Griffin let his older brother drive and Y/N sit in the passenger seat.

Maybe, just maybe, Trevor might have a chance with his best friend. He pined for that feeling he had at 15.

So I guess I’ll just love you from the window

While you’re dancing with the charmers in the room

And I’ll sneak out that door like I have a time before

And just let that lost love loom

And just let that list love loom

Summer was going amazing, that is until Jordan showed up the day before Y/N’s cousin’s wedding. Trevor knew this was inevitable, but the disappointment was there nonetheless. Hearing his best friend laugh with him, watching them sneak kisses when they thought no one was looking, the whole thing made Trevor sick to his stomach. One, because it was actually disgusting to watch the douche kiss his girl, but two, because that should have been Trevor. Trevor swore that she laughed more genuine with just himself though. He smiled at the thought.

The next day came quickly. The Zegras family had gotten dressed and drove to the Y/L/N’s house to help with anything they could. Y/N’s mom was grabbing last minute details that she had been responsible for, so Julie began to help.

Trevor was making small talk with Griffin when he glanced up the stairs and saw Y/N coming down. His breath hitched for a second, but he let out a slightly audible groan when he saw Jordan walking down behind her. Griffin shot a confused look at his brother, but shook it off.

The families loaded up into a few vehicles and made their way to the venue. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was so much fun. At least at first.

The DJ had been playing upbeat songs that everybody was dancing to, but as the night progressed the first slow song began. Trevor left the dance floor to go outside and sit at one of the tables that was set up. He could still see everything that was happening through a window, hearing the slow song continue. He thought he would be ok, but when he saw Jordan and Y/N swaying to the music he felt a surge of jealousy rise up. He wanted to march in there, tell Jordan to go to hell, and steal Y/N. He watched Y/N, her dress swaying with the movement of her body. The lights gave her a sort of glow. Trevor longed to be the one holding her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

“I know I have no say in the matter, but I do wish that something would have come from the two of you’s relationship,” Y/N’s dad startled Trevor, eliciting a chuckle at the reaction.

Trevor gave off a sigh and turned to the man that was practically his second dad.

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but me too,” Trevor rubbed the back of his neck, glancing back at Jordan and Y/N. The slow dance was coming to an end, but Trevor really wanted to get this off his chest, even if it was just with Y/N’s dad.

“I love her a lot, Trevor. She’s my only girl,” Her dad laughed and slug an arm around Trevor’s shoulders, “But she has been so oblivious to your feelings,” the man gave Trevor a squeeze.

“Have I really been that obvious?” Trevor’s cheeks were burning, especially when Shut Up and Dance With Me by WALK THE MOON started playing and he watched as Y/N was looking around the room, desperately trying to find her best friend. This had been their song since 8th grade homecoming, and there was no way she was going to let it play without dancing with Trevor.

“Extremely,” Y/N’s dad chuckled, “My opinion counts for nothing, but I think you should tell her.”

Trevor smiled at the idea, but he didn’t even know where to begin with that. Was it really worth ruining their friendship? A 22 year long friendship?

“I think, for now at least, things are better left unsaid,” Trevor responded.

“If that’s what you think, then that’s what you think,” The older man laughed as he watched his daughter stomp towards them.

The conversation was interrupted as Y/N stepped in between the two men.

“There’s no way in hell that you’re getting off without dancing with me to this song,” She grabbed Trevor by the hands and pulled him onto the dance floor. The two danced hard, sweat beading on their foreheads as the song played.

Trevor’s personality was shining through his dance moves, and Y/N was letting him have his moment. Neither one of them were thinking of Jordan until the song ended and her boyfriend tapped Trevor on the shoulder.

“I’d like to steal my girlfriend back,” he slurred slightly, totally oblivious of Trevor’s feelings toward him. Y/N squealed as Jordan took her to a corner of the venue, placing kisses on her cheeks and lips. Trevor had made his way toward Griffin, but not before seeing Jordan whispering in Y/N’s ear, something that made Y/N blush and giggle.

Trevor couldn’t watch it anymore. He found Griffin, let his parents know that they were leaving, and made their way back home.

His mind was in a cycle of asking himself if he should tell his best friend his feelings, to reasoning why that would be the worst idea, to genuinely being curious if something would come of it. Maybe this feeling is better left hanging between the two.

How do I make you fall in love with me?

Is it lost in the emptiness of apathy?

Should I fight for it like war, should I nail it down to boards

Or do I live in a love I’m dying for?

“I should have listened to you,” Y/N admitted to Trevor, snuggled to his side on the couch as some random movie played in the background. The thunderstorm outside provided the perfect ambience for a cozy movie day with Trevor.

Y/N had found text messages that Jordan had sent to girls while the two had been together. Messages that revealed that she was not the only girl occupying his mind and bed.

“I’m not going to say I told you so, but I do recall a conversation that went a little like me explaining how he was a douche,” Trevor mindlessly twirled her hair around his finger.

“I know you’re so satisfied with being able to say that,” Y/N rolled her eyes. She should have listened to Trevor. She was never going to admit that, but it was true. There were many red flags that she put blinders to, and in the end it bit her in the butt. It really hurt, but Y/N knew in a small place in her heart that Jordan wasn’t the one. He was fun, but he didn’t have everything that Y/N was looking for. The relationship was on the downhill stretch, so his cheating just sped things up a bit.

“I’m not satisfied. I wish he didn’t put you through this,” Trevor corrected his friend. He didn’t want to rub it in her face, but he wanted her to know that he cared. He cared before the relationship, he cared while they were dating, and he’s going to care when she can’t remember his name anymore.

“Is it terrible that him cheating gave me an excuse to break up with him? I wanted him to do something to end it. Like yeah, we had sex every now and then, but it just feels like after the wedding things started to fizzle out,” Y/N admitted as she picked her fingernails, a habit that she picked up at an early age to deal with conversations and feelings that were hard.

“If that’s how you feel, then no, it’s not terrible. You feel what you feel. You can’t help that,” Trevor reassured her.

“I just wish somebody would love me for me. I wish that somebody could match my energy, or maybe just not cheat? I don’t know, I feel like that’s not asking much,” She chuckled and wiggled around to get more comfortable.

Trevor grinned at his friend. “Y/N Y/L/N, why don’t you just ask me on a date,” he half joked, but a small part of him was serious. It didn’t matter, though, because Y/N let out a laugh at him, and her laughter was the most important thing right now.

“In your dreams, Z,” She flashed him a smile and focused her attention back on the tv in front of them.

“You have no idea,” he whispered, not expecting her to hear it.

“What?” Her head snapped at him as his eyes grew wide.

Was now his chance to finally admit his feelings? Should he give her a chance to get over her relationship she just got out of? He didn’t have much time to decide, so he let his mouth take over.

“Look, you’re dad already knows,” Trevor sighed as he began to admit his feelings.

“Already knows what, exactly?” The confusion was written all over Y/N’s face.

“I think I just need to wait to tell you this,” Trevor tried to drop the conversation, but Y/N wasn’t budging.

“No, you made the comment, so you have to explain it. I’m fine. I don’t need you to tip-toe around me,” Y/N explained as she gave the boy her full attention.

“Ok, well I’m going to lay these feelings out there, but please don’t freak out. I’m always going to be your best friend no matter what,” With those words, both of their hearts began to speed up.

“Just say it, Z,” Her patience was wearing thin with the boy.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since I stole your first kiss. The thought of another guy being with you makes me sick. Like physically makes me feel like I want to vomit. You say you want somebody to match your energy, but I’m the exact opposite of you and we’ve been inseparable since birth. You have this idea of what you want, and it sucks because never once did you consider me in that. Like is this hopeless? Could anything possibly come from this?” Trevor lost control of what he was saying. Every feeling that crossed his brain regarding his best friend was spoken. In a way it was relieving, but the fear of being rejected quickly took place.

“Z…” Y/N was speechless. Never in a million years did she expect her best friend since birth to admit he loved her. She truly didn’t know what to say.

“Well say something. I just told you I loved you, so I’m gonna need a little more elaboration than just ‘Z’,” Trevor was desperate for her to say something.

“You just laid it out there huh,” Y/N snickered.

“Right there on the floor, yep,” Trevor raised his eyebrows and bit the inside of his cheek. For the first time in his life, he wanted to crawl in a deep dark hole and die there. Die a recluse that didn’t admit to loving his best friend.

“Wow,” Y/N took a deep breath in. Things had never been awkward between the two in their whole life, but this was painfully awkward. It wasn’t that Y/N didn’t love Trevor, she did. And truth be told, she had a slight crush on him growing up. However, she got over it. That wasn’t to say that she couldn’t open up to the idea of a relationship with Trevor, but it would have to take time to unfold.

“I’m leaving,” Trevor began to put his shoes on and stuffed his keys in his pocket when Y/N grabbed his arm.

“Just hold on. I know you’re feeling embarrassed telling me this, but think about me hearing it. That was the last thing I expected you to say today. I’m just shocked, that’s it,” She became aware of her hand wrapped around his forearm, pulling him back on the couch.

"I wish I never told you,” He ran his fingers through his hair, strands going in many different directions. He situated himself next to you once more, his leg bouncing at a rapid rate once he stilled.

“Trevor, I mean this with the utmost respect….shut the hell up.”

If your words didn’t catch his attention, then your side eye most definitely did.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” He sighed, resting his head on the back of the couch. He steadied his breathing, waiting for your voice to pierce through the silence in the room.

“I love you, too.”

Trevor’s interest piqued, rotating his body so that he is completely facing you. He could tell you had more to say, so he let you.

“I’ve loved you for 22 years. I mean, not that I can remember much when we were younger, but I know you’ve always been my very best friend. I’ve gone through phases where I thought you were cute, I used to think any girl that you hung out with was a threat to our friendship. I remember our first middle school dance…I told your date your favorite color was neon green so she’d wear that awful dress,” You chuckled as you recalled that night. It definitely ended with his date telling her mom that Trevor was cheating on her with you. You were 12.

“You didn’t, Y/L…”

The corners of his mouth were curving upward as the memory played in his head.

“Oh, I did. I remember the first time I met Jack and Cole…you were jealous that me and Jack had hit it off so you told him about me throwing up the first time I had to give a presentation in speech. I was so mad at you, but you guys lost the game that night because you missed a goal. I promised myself that night that I would take the responsibility of being louder than your thoughts. You beat yourself up so bad for days after that, but all I could think about was that you saw a sunflower growing in a random field and decided to pull over and pick it for me that day. You are the most selfless person I know. You are the hardest on yourself, and you use your humor to deflect that. I know that you worry everyday if you’re truly good enough to be playing at the level you’re at,” You brought your thumb up to wipe away a tear that was puddling in the corner of his eye.

Trevor knew everything you were saying was true. He was jealous when you met Jack because he knew that Jack was capable of getting all of the girls. And he could have all of them, just not you. He also remembered that car ride home from practice when he was driving home from practice and there was a single sunflower in the middle of nowhere. That was your favorite flower. Maybe it was a sign?

“Trevor Zegras, I can’t promise that I can be in a relationship right away. But what I can promise is that I can learn to be a different role for you. Don’t you ever have regrets. I love you, you idiot,” You ruffled his hair and pulled his cheek to your lips.

Cheekily, at the last second he turned his head and smashed his lips on yours. You both smiled into the kiss, but when you pulled away you thumped his ear as hard as you could.

He winced, but flashed a cheeky grin, “That was for 15-year-old me…”

“I hate you,” the two of you laughed.

As the rain kept pouring and the candles scattered around the room flickered, you both were consumed in your own thoughts. Would this complicate things? Probably. But relationships were difficult anyway. Might as well figure it out together.

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*I would also like to say that I’m stuck between going ahead and posting the second part of Reasons to Stay and making it a tiny series or just writing a long ass piece. I have no creativity for anything else though. I also wrote the majority of this before Jaimie was traded and just didn’t want to go back and change that.*

[be-missed]

Not Strong Enough (Chap 7)

Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

64.media.tumblr.com

(pictures not mine)

Summary: Jenna was visiting her mom in the hospital to drop off the food that will be eaten for the hospital party, but she met a resident surgeon and she thought "God forbid I ran into an accident, but I want her to open me and stitch me up." While the surgeon tries her best to keep her fan girling low-key.

Warning: curse words.

A/N: thanks for waiting, enjoy.

Masterlist

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6

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Chap 7

"I didn't know you can cook" Jenna said as they both get situated in Y/N's sofa, "Well I need to learn to cook since I can't just eat fast foods all the time" and the both of them laughed, "How did you know my diet though?" Jenna asked, "I asked your mom about your diet and uhm, I noticed at your family's dinner that you only either eat fish or vegetables, so I really planned the meal" Y/N answered and scratched the back of her head.

Jenna was so touched with what Y/N did, because she knows that Y/N will eat everything that is served in front of her since she is adventurous with food and she likes to eat different cuisine, but Y/N followed her diet and cooked foods that will fit to Jenna's taste. That might be a bare minimum for some but it really made Jenna's heart swell.

A moment of comfortable silence was shared, "What?" Y/N asked Jenna who was staring at her intently, "Nothing, I just... I adore you" Jenna said, blush creeping up and coloring her cheeks. Y/N smiled with how red is slowly eating up Jenna's cheek, "You are cute, you know that, right?" and chuckled at how Jenna covers her face.

"Stop saying things to me like that Y/N" Jenna said while trying to compose herself, "What? I can't tell you how I adore you?" Y/N said teasing Jenna, laughing at how the girl is getting red in every teasing word that came out of Y/N's mouth. "You better stop teasing me or I will go home" Jenna challenged Y/N, and that was probably the last thing that Y/N wants Jenna to do.

"Okay, I'll stop" Y/N chuckles and asked "Do you might want to play a game instead?" that question made Jenna's eyebrow to raise with curiosity "Hmm, Okay, what game? But let me just tell you, that I am not good at this" and Y/N pats Jenna's head "Aww, poor baby, don't worry I'll go easy on you" while she winks at Jenna and sets up her Xbox One.

Hours have passed and Jenna was now on her toes since this is the first time she got the lead in NBA. "Fucking hell, suck that 3 points, I knew you were cheating in the first few games" Jenna said, trying to distract Y/N. "What do you mean cheating? I told you I'm good at this and you just can't accept that" Looking at Jenna with her tongue out and scoring a point, getting close to Jenna's score.

Jenna lets out a grumble "See you are now just plainly cheating" while trying to pass the ball to a team mate that is closer to the basket, "No, I just gave you a chance earlier" Y/N chuckles. With a three-point shot coming from Y/N's team, the score was now tied and Jenna paused the game that surprised Y/N.

"Kiss me" Jenna said with a puckered lips and closed eyes, waiting for Y/N, and the other girl just looked at Jenna with questions in her eyes and asked "What do you mean? We are playing" Y/N said and pointed at the TV, Jenna opens her eyes and said, "I'm getting stressed with the game and with you, now I need your kisses" and Y/N chuckled in her mind not wanting to aggravate the other girl.

Y/N puts her controller down and crawls in the sofa trying to get close to Jenna's side. On the other side, Jenna was waiting with her open arms, and just like that, Y/N took it as an invitation and straddles Jenna drops kisses in every inch of Jenna's face avoiding her lips.

"Okay now kiss my lips, please" Jenna looked at Y/N pleadingly while the other girl chuckles and said "I should stress you out more huh?" and landed a kiss on Jenna's lips. The other girl pulls away resting her hand on Y/N's hips and massages Y/N's side.

"Stop staring Jenna" Y/N said while smiling at the other girl, "You are also staring" Jenna said as a rebuttal, "Okay, I feel like you are making me lose my focus on our game" Y/N said with a smirk, "Oh yes, that's what I'm actually doing" Jenna answered with a chuckle and added "How about in every kiss that I give you, you get to let me shoot without a guard?" Jenna suggested wiggling her eyebrows.

Y/N thinks really hard since she doesn't really loose in this game, but of course, it is Jenna, she'll do everything that she aske her. With a nod Y/N agrees and says "Okay, that's a deal" because even if she loses the game, at least she'll get a lot of kisses from Jenna.

With a sound of a buzzer, Jenna wins with a 20 points ahead of Y/N. But how can Y/N disagree and fight with Jenna when all she receives from the other girl are kisses. With a dopey smile, Y/N looks at Jenna who is doing her little dance of victory in the middle of the living room and said "Congratulations, you won the game" and Jenna looks at her and says "Thanks to you, you let me win" while Y/N shakes her head from side to side "Oh no, I didn't let you win, we had a deal and... let's just say that I like kissing you more than winning this game" Y/N said standing up from the sofa and walks towards Jenna.

With open arms, Jenna hugs Y/N and said "Okay, but for real, I like kissing you too" and Y/N asked "More than winning the game?" That made Jenna do a thinking motion, with her hands on her chin and her eyes trying to look for an answer from the ceiling "Hmm, let me think about that."

Y/N with a fake grunt said "Ouch Jenna, don't tell me you like this game than me?" and Jenna laughed at Y/N's antics and answers "You know I'm just kidding, I like kissing you and being with you more than any game that I have played" Jenna said trying to be sweet, while Y/N answered "Okay, to be fair, you really don't play much games so I don't know if I'll find it sweet or you are just teasing me" Y/N ended with a chuckle, trying to tease the other girl.

"Okay I'm trying to woo you here, bear with me" Jenna said while she slapped Y/Ns arm slightly. Silence then took over the room, Y/N started to sway the both of them, no music, just their breathing, and the rhythm of their hearts. Jenna nuzzles her face into Y/N's neck while Y/N rounds her arms into Jenna's waist that pulls them closer together.

"Stay for the night?" Y/N asked Jenna who is still hiding on her neck "I can't" Jenna answered with a sad tone, while Y/N asked again "Why? I'll drive you home before the sun rises" Y/N tries to bargain, "I can't, my stylist is picking me up early tomorrow for a fitting" Jenna said looking at Y/N.

With a sad nod, Y/N agrees with Jenna and kissed her good bye, "Stay safe okay, call me when you get home" Y/N yells as Jenna drives away from her. Knowing that it's only gonna be a thirty minute drive, she is comfortable in Jenna going home safely.

Y/N let go a sigh and nods "Okay, I understand" and gives a smile at Jenna. They let go of each other, Jenna trying to collect her things, while Y/N started Jenna's car so that when she enters it is cold inside and she is ready to go.

Standing outside Jenna's car, "Can you please stay? I'll drive you early tomorrow, earlier than your stylist" Y/N said with a pout, Jenna then cups Y/N's face "I'm sorry, but I really need to be home. How about I go here after the fitting? Sounds good?" Jenna tries to bargain.

Y/N was just watching random YouTube videos from her TV while she waits for Jenna's call. Trying to relieve some nerve, Y/N gets up and walks to the kitchen to get some water. A ring from her phone was heard from the living room and she bolted and answered it, not looking on the caller id.

"Hey, I thought something bad happened, what took you so long?" Y/N said with a glee on her voice, not until its not Jenna's voice that she heard, it was Natalie that said "Y/N come to the hospital."

Without a beat, Y/N dresses up, gets her key and drive to the hospital beating every red light that she encounters. Trying to run and look for Natalie or Jenna inside the Emergency Room is a hard time, seeing that it was full of people who are bleeding, crying, and those that can't even get up because of a bad injury.

"This is not normal for a late night" Y/N thought while walking towards the reception and asking a nurse "Is Jenna Ortega here?" but the nurse was busy to even notice her, gathering all the things that she needs to tend to the patients.

A shout of her name can be called on the other side and she saw Natalie with her whole family sitting on the bleachers, Y/N ran and with a labored breath she asked Natalie "What happened? Where is Jenna?"

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A/N: hey thanks for waiting, hope you enjoyed. Again let me remind you that this is FICTION.

Chap 8