#what do u mean this wasn't in mh

[doki-doki-imagines]

hi! maybe a little self indulgent but was wondering if you could write a lil drabble of earthrealm gang x yn (fem y/n if possible) but she’s related to shang tsung in some way (idk sister, daughter if u wanna get real silly) and shes just as pretty but just as mean :3c ty!

author note: In some the reader is the sister in others the daughter. Going for hcs for my mental health :)

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Johnny Cage: -He doesn't completely trust you, even if damn, you are hot. -Like he can't resist flirting with you even if it means getting the harshest rejection ever. -At this point, it is a challenge more than anything else. Once one of your failed potions exploded right into his face while he was blabbering one of his cheesy pickup lines. "You are smoking." "Hot?" "No, just smoking." You reply, pinching a strand of hair still on fire, extinguishing it. -You know 99% of boys stop flirting just before getting a date? Johnny's positive mindset won't let him fall for this trap. -Maybe you'll fall for his loserboy behavior…

Kenshi Takahashi: -Mh the ex-yakuza doesn't trust you one bit. Even if you never betrayed them. -It's just that you like lying a bit too much for his liking. -"I'll keep an eye on you." You chuckle "What eye? I don't see any on your face." You shrug his words off. -Nobody has ever been blacklisted this fast in Kenshi's mind. -But for real, he'll keep your every step checked ready to attack at any of your missteps. -"If you like spying on me so much you could take me out on a date so I can answer all your questions." You hear him choking on his saliva before snapping back. "How do you know I'm spying on you?" Your eyes widened getting closer to him "So I was right? You are spying on me? Damn, you must be so down bad for me-" -The idea of falling one of Wu Shi mountains sounds so good now for Kenshi. "Come pick me up at 9 p.m. and take me to a nice place it has been so long since I've eaten something nice." -Seems like Kenshi has a new problem to deal with. -Also because Madame Bo is the only place nearby…

Kung Lao: -He doesn't trust you at all, your mother may have been a nice woman but your father is terrible! And with your sharp words, Lao thinks you have taken his personality too. -"Begone sorcerer! My hat will slice you in two if you take another step closer." "I'm sure my words have done more damage than that stupid hat." -Actually, a friendship will develop thanks to your constant fights, not always won by you. -Raiden better if you stay alert, you have two sly foxes in the temple now

Raiden: -He isn't as wary as the others, after all you haven't done anything wrong. Being born from such an evil guy doesn't make you evil. -But damn, you can be so harsh with him at times. More than once Raiden wanted to remind you that if it wasn't for him you would be homeless and a loser just like your father. -But then Raiden remembers it's actually thanks to Liu Kang if you are there and bites his tongue. -You are also one of the few people able to make Raiden snap! Most monks never saw such fury before he met you. -"You should thank me. Weak minds don't last much in battle." "If you expect me to thank you for pissing me off you'll have to wait your entire lifetime, snotty sorcerer."

Liu Kang: -When he created this new timeline he hoped a sister could tone down Shang Tsung's evil intentions. -But at the end he threw you away, treating you like a stepping stone to the road to achieve his goal. -So Liu Kang took you in. That doesn't mean you will so easily forgive him for his mistake. -Your words slice his heart frequently. Not because you want to cry about your condition, it's mostly your fault after all, but simply because you like to tease that raw nerve that awakens a usually hidden side of him. -"Shut your mouth or I'll seal your lips forever!" "Ohhh-" you coo at his words "But then how I'll latch my lips at your throat? You seemed to like it yesterday." You say, pressing a finger on the spot where the hickey should be, already recovered thanks to his godly nature. -Liu Kang stomps his right foot on the ground before running out from your lab. How he can love you so much and despise you at the same time is something he still has to wrap his head around.

Geras: -A saint. You may tease, joke, just be nasty and Geras will reply with the calmest voice ever. -Liu Kang told him to make you feel at home and Geras takes his job seriously. -You nagged him a lot about the hourglass, making you take a small peak at it but he never let you close. -"You are too serious Geras, loosen up a little." "It's to compensate for your lack of rules." -You still have to warm up to each other…

Bi-Han: -He doesn't like you. AT ALL. -Bi-Han looks at you with a face dripping with scorn. Even if you are taller than him, he'll make you feel like an ant. -If you tease him too much he'll snap back and won't keep himself from hitting you. -But if you stroke his ego, promising him strength and glory… -As your brother told you "If you want men to do what you want stroke their ego and they will be at your feet." -He also did an analogy comparing the ego to a di- Okay I think the point is clear.

Kuai Liang: -He doesn't trust you, but if Liu Kang decided to keep you with them he won't oppose his decision. -Liang will often ask to train with you, mostly to test your skill level and eventually prepare for a future betrayal. -Also your lab will be often spied, checking if your experiments are safe and good for Earthrealm. -Till one day Liang found a small card on your desk "Train better your men, I could tell someone sneaked in the first time. Shirai Ryu won't last long otherwise." -He tightens the grip on the card, rolling it up before throwing it on the ground. -Liang was the only one that has been spying on you…

Tomas Vrbada: -He doesn't trust you immediately but he is one of the few to give you a chance. -Tomas won't be like a dog, following you around and completely trusting you, but he'll be one to bring you a hot beverage in cold winters when you are alone in your lab. -He answers wittily to your words and rarely he gets dejected. -"I suppose you won't survive in the Lin Kueis if you had a weak mind or if you are simply an idiot…" You whisper out, Tomas' ears catching your words anyway. "…You thought I was an idiot?" -You'd like to reply "Why the paste tense? I still do." but you decide to bite your tongue. You don't mind his company after all.

[makoandharu]

many of my mutuals post rinharu, so i wanted to ask your top 10 makoharu official art to lighten my dash?

😭😭😭

Okay I'm definitely gonna post more than 10 bc i have a lot to say lmao bear with me

This one is my fave of all time, not just mh. But the thought of Haru stroking the cat's head and then lifting his hand to stroke the back of his fingers on Makoto's cheeks? My brain short-circuits

Now which one of us survived these two arts? Certainly not me. The fact that these are set post-canon, showing not only how their bond is stronger than ever but that Haru is the one initiating the contact, and the fact that it's proof beyond doubt that Makoto is SO significant to Haru's journey as a swimmer (when we already know he's significant - see: most important - in every other aspect of life outside the pool), the idea that he only got this far bc of Makoto, "it's meaningless without you" and "i appreciate you being here for me" walked so these arts could run. Thank u kyoani for canon makoharu visual guide.

I remember when this spoiler dropped it was just so 😮‍💨 honestly what makes this scene so peak for me is Ikuya walking past, watching them being gay and is like... u know what not my circus not my monkey. He's so valid for that. But overall the fact that Makoto knows Haru well enough to help here even when he's not his coach, the fact that Haru trust him when his body needs to be in peak condition. Stop it. Their trust and respect for each other just gets me.

Any art where other things are going on but Haru just has eyes on Makoto is peak (and there are an abundance of them). But art where Haru's precious water is splashing so beautiful and Haru's STILL only got heart eyes for Makoto? Pure gay nonsense.

MAKOHARUTOKYO MY BELOVED FOREVER!!!! The way this shit BROKE tumblr, nothing will ever compare again. They went to Tokyo together. THEY WENT. TO TOKYO. TOGETHER. I'm eating my hat.

Makoto being gay. What else is new. I like to think this is the exact face he makes when they go through their baby pics and Haru flicks his forehead for being moist (even tho he's being just as mushy inside)

Y'all remember when Makoto was studying too hard for finals and Haru came to make sure he didn't over do it, drapped his coat over a sleeping Makoto and fell alseep with him????????? Bc???? Helloo?????? Insanity.

As IF the art of them sharing a pair of gloves whilst they hold the other to keep warm wasn't bad enough u mean to tell me there's a drama CD to go with it? Will my suffering never end??

Last but not least (until i reblog this with more) this cute ass pic of them from the free calendar hanging out with the twins and cats. The domesticity of it all...

Hope u enjoy, stick around for more lmaoo

Also @ moots and other mhs pls reblog this with your own fave arts thank u

[mera-k1]

Hii!! Can we get a first kiss hcs with TCW and/or AKYR, please? Whether its cute giggly ones or the slow and steady,,,🤲🌹

(((I actually sent an anon ask on this but i got a notif that something went wrong with it lol, but lmk if it actually slides into your inbox:0)))

Have a nice one!

it never did come into my inbox but dw!! hope you enjoy the fluff~ later note: GOT WAY TOO LONG... PUTTING AKYR IN A SEP POST!!

First Kiss

TCW x gn!reader

-fluff, idk u guys kiss 😱, not rlly in order so here's order i wrote in -> yohei, shiki, ryu, saimon

having to watch your boyfriend clean counters and sweep the floor wasn't the most exciting thing in the world. but.. he didn't look half bad while doing it. with the sleeves of his bartender 'uniform' rolled up and his focused expression, you couldn't help but admire him. well, okay.. you hadn't been dating that long but the crush you had on yohei was... you've had to for a little longer than you'd like to admit. so when he accepted your confession, you were extremely surprised that the cold-fronted man had actually accepted.

besides that, you really just had wanted to spend some time with him lately. after all, he'd been working so much! why not take some time off and spend some time with you? that's what you had proposed but-

"i needa finish cleaning, babe."

"oh.."

those were the only words that had been spoken since you had gotten here. letting out a dramatic sigh, you slumped down onto the bar counter that he had just finished cleaning. the damp, cool counter smelled of cleaning supplies and you wrinkled your nose at the sudden strong smell and lifted your head back up to wipe your now wet cheek.

"what're you sighing for?" he looked over after you had let out the dramatic sigh, cloth in hand as he wiped down the opposite end of the counter from you.

"i just wanna spend time with you!" you put your elbow onto the counter, leaning your face into your hand as you stared at him. yohei returned your sigh with one of his own as he shook his head.

"i told you i've-"

"i know what you told me!" you huffed out at him, a pout forming on your face as he walked over to you.

"tell you what," he started, looking at your pouty face. yeah... there was no way he could say no to you now. he was being a little mean, wasn't he? he briefly leaned down, planting a quick peck on your lips before walking back over to the previously abandoned cloth he had been using to clean. "we'll go out somewhere once--" you didn't hear the rest as your face turned pink as you suddenly shot up, shock evident on your face.

"y-you kissed me!" you covered your mouth, half from shock and the other half... you weren't really sure. "that was the first time you've ever kissed me!" he looked over at you, a faint pink color appearing on his cheeks.

"...mh. i- i guess i did."

okay so.. maybe it was a little bit awkward, eating lunch with your boyfriend. or well... new boyfriend. not like you've ever had one before but it felt awkward to sit by him during lunch uninvited. but... it's kind of an unspoken thing that you're allowed to do that, right? you had been friends beforehand but... this whole relationship thing was kinda hard... especially with your shy boyfriend.

"uh- uhm- th-thank you for eating with me, (name)..." shiki mumbled, shyly. his face growing pink with blush. you weren't sure if he was flustered by you unexpectedly sitting by him or if he had just remembered that you two were technically dating after that mess of a confession from you. god, you didn't even want to think about it right now...

"no problem!" you gave him a content smile which seemed to make his face go redder. even though it hadn't been long, you were happy that this sweetheart of a guy was your boyfriend. he might be timid but you still loved him!

"ah.. (name)?" he looked over at you, a hesitant expression on his face. it was almost impossible to tell what he was about to ask you with that expression. it almost looked like pity, but you knew it wasn't- but it also looked like shyness? but he was shy about a whole lot of things!

"what's up?" you asked, trying to keep the conversation casual and not think about the possible question.

"w- would you like to go somewhere after school?" he mumbled, looking down shyly. "ah-! with- with me! if that's okay..." he quickly added. as if it wasn't obvious enough! of course you would love to go on a little date with him!

"of course! why wouldn't it be okay, shiki?" you gave him a smile as he almost immediately brightened up too.

"really?!" you nodded happily in response, getting up from your spot on the bench beside him and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek before taking your bag and rushing off as the bell rang.

"i'll meet you outside your class after school, okay?!" you called as you jogged away, leaving him an embarrassed and blushing mess as he stared at you disappear in shock.

some days, you weren't sure if you should regret asking ryu out. deep down you knew you didn't regret it, of course, but times when ryu was running around the room in a dino onesie, pretending to be a dinosaur made you wonder what you had really gotten yourself into when you asked him out.

"ROARR!! i'm gonna get ya, (name)!!" he made a scary face as he ran over to where you were sitting with his arms outstretched, ready to grab you. you couldn't help but laugh at his childishness when he tackled you down onto the carpet. "iiii... got you!!!"

you both became a fit of giggles after ryu tackled you down, cuddling in closer to you as if being on the floor was a normal occurrence for the two of you. "okay, okay.. it's time to actually get up and ready, ryu." you patted his head as he childishly wrapped his arms around you and shook his head with a pout.

"not yet! just a little longer, 'kay? and then we will blast off, captain!!" he declared, suddenly an astronaut instead of a dinosaur now. you couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled up inside of you.

"from dinosaur to astronaut? what a drastic switch!" you playfully teased him before he suddenly jumped up, pointing up towards the ceiling (which you assumed he was pointing towards the sky) and brought his finger back down to point at you on the floor.

"yes! we will be blasting off to the moon! astronaut ryu and (name) are making it to the moon!" he declared loudly as you got up from your spot on the ground and walked over to his excited face.

"i'm sure we will, ryu, but it's time to get ready, okay?" you smiled at him before he sighed, seemingly accepting the fact that he couldn't sit and have fun with you all day in his room.

"one thing before we blast off!" he gave a determined look, his hands on his hips. you raised your eyebrows at him as a silent 'go ahead'. "astronaut ryu needs a kiss before he gets ready!" you would have been flustered by his sudden request but seeing him so determined made you forget the blush that had burned onto your face when he said it. leaning in, you gave him a kiss on his smiling face before he cheered leaving you to look at him with a content smile on your face. yeah, he was definitely the one for you.

"you don't have to force yourself, love," the deep, comforting voice of saimon sounded beside you as you both sat on his bed. you wanted to take your relationship a little farther and sleep beside him instead of sleeping in another room whenever you visited him. "take your time."

"no, no it's alright. i trust you and stuff, but i'm just nervous..." you sighed, nerves getting the better of you as you fiddled with your hands in your lap. his hand lifted from its spot behind you and rubbed your back, gently nudging you closer to him.

"you don't have to rush anything, love. i'll wait for you to be ready." he assured you as he rubbed your back, leaning down to kiss your temple.

your hand reached up to touch his face gently, leaning up to reach his face as well now and kiss him. for real this time. although it was your first real kiss with him, it felt so natural and comfortable as his hand held yours, thumb rubbing over your knuckles as you both held the kiss for what felt like minutes till you had to pull away for air.

"...sorry! i should have asked before doing that-" he had a soft smile on his face as you rambled on, flustered that you had done that without even asking him beforehand.

"it's alright, i enjoyed it just as much as you did. nothing to fret over, my love." god... this man would be the death of you without even trying..

[screampied]

Heh, yeah, it's me, hi 😅

Mh, I'm actually still learning about human behavior. Gojo sensei educated me about sex but it made me uncomfortable speaking with him about that stuff, so I did my own research. I lack practical experience, but I think I know the basics now. I actually also know about kinks! I read something about edging the other day.

Oh, I wasn't aware of full Nelson being a wrestling move AND a sex practice. So, do you like combining wrestling into your sex activities a lot? Btw thanks for educating me. I appreciate that. 🙏🏻

Of course I read your work. I feel kinda flattered being in some of them. The feeling I get while reading is some strange reactions my body does... maybe it's just because you're good at writing. I'm good at imagining the things you write, but I just read the stuff about me. Reading about the others made me feel weird. It felt like overstepping boundaries and ignoring their privacy, you know...

You would show me the full Nelson?? Maybe you could be my teacher then?! I mean, not that we have to have sex 😅 just show me the... uh... moves. If you're comfortable doing that, of course 👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you, Vegas 🥰 I don't know you, but from what I read, you seem like a lovely woman. But who is Gege, and why do you say you're delusional? 🤔

Best regards,

Choso

hi again babyyy,

oh i see !! no worries <3 yeah sex is kinda complicated at times so i get it. and reallllllly? edging? what do u think ab overstim? im curious 🌚🌚 and LMAO well not necessarily but a lot of sex positions are inspired by wrestling moves and full nelson is one of them. i like it a lot bc it requires a lot of stamina and flexibility 🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️. and you’re so welcome xxx

i’m so flattered 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ honored ??? and embarrassed bc i write a bit of freaky stuff ab you. hopefully i capture your personality well heh. you’re one of my favs but don’t tell nanami or toji that AWWW THANK YOU 😭 i’m so glad u feel that way ab my writing ur so sweet :(((

and that’s so cute of you 🙂‍↕️ i totally understand why you only read things about yourself <3

i’d love to show you how to do full nelson 💖 we can also try this other position i like and it’s called pile driver have u heard of it ? 🧚🏽‍♀️ ohhhh stop ur the sweetest babyyyyyy thank u choso

and oh !!!!!! don’t worry about gege 🎀 speaking of though the leaks come out soon and i’m not ready for that omg. forget him though !!! love u xxxxoo

[heleizition]

DAMN not me being like whos cody and the plot post being like GODS FUCKING CLONE CHILD. tell me everything we love an apocalypse harbinger. also CAIN MY BOI poor baby needs that therapy. also the whole 'and god thought mh well i liked that lets try again'? chefs kiss. I Wish To Know The Past Lives by you categorised as kinda boring THING pls. does cain get a bestie? someone give this man a bigger support and luv system. also vik is a BABY? a former child. A BABY!! also W HA T is that fuckery with jasper tell me absolutely everything please

SHES MY FAVORITE WEIRDO GIRL I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES HOLY AND BRINGS A RELIGIOUS FLAVOR OF TERROR THAT I. CARE ABOUT <===== guy who was not raised religious at all idk why im so into it

so in the plot post i mentionned there's a memory thing. everyone remembers bits here and there of their past life, and usually demons mostly remembers bad things they did bc thats how u manipulate people into doing more things that are . not good. cody and jasper are the only ones with no memories of past life bc they were created in this realm, and had no past life. she has no idea she's god's soldier, They sent her down there mostly for Their own entertainement and everything she does is her own choice and will, even if god can "feel it" (which is why . they end up sending the whole lil family back on earth . for a chance to be happy. bc they feel cody's happiness.)

for the rest :

past lives ! um ill put lil warnings before. each lives.

Nell & Belly : tw for child abuse, sexual abuse and exploitation, adults not helping like they should lol

Nell and Belly (btw their full names are Nathanel and Anabelle) are born twins, nell just a few minutes before his sister. their mother died at birth which sent their father (an already not . good guy) into deep constant rage and pain . once they grow up a bit . i mean like. 7 or so. theres sexual abuse happening . and beatings. selling out his kids for a night for money. nothing fun. nell and belly get through it together until at like 16 nell (who's like, underfed, short, no muscles) snaps and stabs their dad over and over again .

nell only remembers this, killing his dad, with absolutely no context behind (protecting himself, protecting his sister, freeing them) so he thinks he used to be a Bad person. after that they get placed in the system, ig theres a trial but its ruled as legitime defense, and once they're 18 belly just. vanishes. they both deal very differently with what their whole life was, nell cant go on, can barely support himself, thinks he should have died right then, and belly flees from nell to find . somewhere where she can forget. she regrets it but nell dies before she can reconnect (not sure how, his death isn't rly whats important here,,, im thinking . so numb he can't rly recognize whats around him . walk in front of a car. yeah). belly struggles to have a happy life after that and ... im not sure how she dies yet. im thinking drowning bc its a thing that almost happens in the farm au....

as an angel, she doesnt remember much, because there wasn't much happiness in her life. also these two as twins have a bond that still connect them in angel/demon realm ! so they know the other exist and they remember once they meet !!

eden : tw for transphobia, drugs, suicide, abusive family ?

i'll go short w him bc it's not pleasant and it makes me sad <==== guy who MADE this backstory

eden is trans, always feels out of place as a kid, as a teen. his parents kick him out at eighteen bc they "can" and bc even if eden never said anything, they Know and don't want him in here. he has a friend who helps for a while, until the rumors spread about him being a ~ freak ~ and his friend is like. im sorry my parents cant let u impose in the house. anymore. : /// . eden is lost and desperate and doesn't know what to do, sells himself, gets into drugs to get through the days, finds out the days aren't worht getting through, kills himself. yay

he's one of the few who's always remembered his past fully,,,

LENA lena my BABYGIRL um tw for war mostly

this happens in a fictif medieval era lmao she's the princess of a kingdom, daughter of a kind king and queen, destined to rule, fighting among the army already, everyone loves her, except her small kingdom gets torn apart by another kingdom, not that much bigger, but with much greater military strength. the country gets torn apart before the army, the king and queen can do anything. the enemies arrive to the capital and lena doesn't even ask and joins the vanguard. she uses a sword at this point, get through enemies after enemies, and it looks like there's hope, until one of the enemy's captain reach her. it's a bit of a eowyn versus the nazgul vibe in lotr except lena doesn't win. she's slain, and slowly dies on hte battlefield with her beloved country burning, and the people she swore to protect screaming and dying.

she's very loved. i care her so much. she's my default when idk what to draw :3 she remembers being a loved princess, and slowly remember the last fight. it haunts her, the weight of losing this fight, that she couldn't do more, even if it's from a time long gone.

titania ummmm well theres grooming. witch hunt and betrayal.

i have to research the exact period titania's past happens, but its between late 1400 and early 1600s i think !

she loses her parents very young and thus, is cared for by the local church. there's a priest here who teaches her to use her looks and innocence as a way to get things, information, food, anything. once she's 13/14, he starts showing her the more physical way to do so.

she starts using sex as a way to learn things. she's the person who knows the most about anyone in the village. she's an important figure, one who's gifted things to keep silent, who gives her body in exchange for things to hang up against someone. she hates the priest who made her who she is . she couldn't have been something else, happier, lighter, but she's this, and she's too deep in to just stop.

she's too powerful, she knows too much, and when there's word in the village of a witch inhabiting it, they all turn to her. they have a way to get rid of her and the power she holds over them. she screams what she knows when she's brought to the center of the village, screams her hate of the priest who made her who she is, destroys everyone's nice little life because it cost hers. she dies burning, and everyone chooses to act like they never heard her in her final day.

she's the wise calm one who's actually full of anger and wrath. i love her a lot. there's this french song i love ("a witch like any other") which talks abt . women. women and men treating women like they're granted. and like. its a titania song. if u wanna give it a listen this version is amazing altho it's more powerful if u know french....

VIK UM OKAY not much tw here. it's just fucking sad. im a terrible oc parent. it's also heavily inspired by hell's girl season 3's protagonist past..................... it's basically that tbh SOEJFEFSJS

his mother and him are not allowed in the village. his mother is sick. he doesn't know it, he just follows his mother. she's kind and beautiful, gives him food and tells him stories. he's 4. they can't get in the village and he doesn't know why, so they find dry places in the woods to live. it's fun, it's everything he's ever known. one day his mother doesn't wake up, so he goes to try and find food by himself, to surprise her. when he's back, she's still not awake. she's stiff and cold, so he gives her his blanket and waits. days pass. he's hungry, he's thirsty, he's 5, he doesn't know anything, doesn't know how to go on, the usually places he finds bits of food are empty. it's colder and his mother hasn't moved since that day.

it's snowing. it's pretty. he wishes his mom could wake up and see it but he's starting to think that maybe she won't.

vik dies, age 5, in the forest, cold hungry and alone.

he doesn't remember anything, and his ignorance nd naivety makes him so much easier for noah to manipulate him. she doesn't mean to at first, she sees a child who could use some help, and she's always wanted a child. but they're at war, and sacrifices need to be made.

ABEL AND CAIN'S PAST ISNT CLEAR TO ME RN IM SORRYYYYY SOMETHING ABT ABEL BEIGN A RULER AND CAIN HIS SHADOW WHO KILLS FOR HIM YAGHHHHHH IDK MAN abel slowly remembering that he was a mercyless king who made his people suffer just like hte people he's trying to fight rn,,,,,,,,,,, honey

i don't have much planed for cain in tame of support rn im sowwy.................... i wanna work on it tho.......... i have a lot of secondary charactres that he could fit with...............

noah used to be a cool fearless pirate stealing rich people to give to the poor in her hometown mostly. finding strays and helping them. i love that for her . she was a good guy, a robin hood, and then her devotion to god fucked her up (aka hermit the frog by marina). she jst fights bc she thinks it will bring peace until she learns god was just Bored lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think i forgot anyone ? if i did i am sorry (bows down to my kids)

jasper's thing......................... well. there's always been experiments. trying to find a being Higher. jasper was created in a lab. then he and another kid, angel this time, were fused. the scar is most likely due to this . for the longest time jasper just thought he had a strong inner voice but it's this other kid (no name yet sowwy!!!!!!! im coming up with this on the spot actually which is why i like being asked abt them it makes me THINK). he's the only saved experiment from this. abel and cain had been sent to investigate on a demon who's part of the high council, but who some people thought was shady. he indeed was. they destroyed eveything (u don't toy with life) and found jasper. omg . they both kind of raised him . ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OHHHHHHH

anyway later in the story, belly and him are fighting opponent, belly is cool and strong but she almost dies and well . those two are in love and it makes jasper's inner angel wake up along with some new powers. not sure exactly what!!!! im thinking !!!! ok i gotta go grocery show now BE BACK SOON BC I SEE MORE THINGS IN MY INBOX

[fairycosmos]

hi love, hope you're doing well, I know a lot of people say this BC it's true but your posts and advice and wisdom etc etc is just sooo lovely to read honestly. so I saw you used to be a TA but quit cos it was like too much for your mh and stuff I'm in the exact same position rn and I just wondered if u have any like info/advice anything really like... obv dw about me taking whatever u say as too final but like, is it a silly job role to have when ur someone who really finds life so draining so easily and struggles w mental health often? like even tho working w kids is lush in general. cos Im on a break rn w an agency and then planning on going part time at some point but even then that seems scary af.

hiii sorry for the late response to this - i hope you still see it. i wanted to say i totally understand being overwhelmed in this way. working with kids can be wonderful but it is also absolutely draining and when you're already emotionally drained just in general- it gets to be a lot. i was at a breaking point with it, too. just the constant pressure of it. needing to take a step back is absolutely fine. last time i worked childcare, i was (i guess i still am lol) incredibly depressed, and with the insane hours i was working (it was a nursery that stayed open late LOL) and the high-stress esp for low pay (apprenticeship wages 🙄) it just wasn't sustainable. something had to give at that moment for me to feel like staying alive was even possible, and it's alright to admit that. i think when i quit, i even told my boss something along the lines of "im not giving the children the presence of mind they deserve because im in a really bad place right now', and it kind of helped me to frame it that way. that by doing what was right for me, i would also be doing what was right for the kids, even if it was painful and bittersweet and made me feel like a failure.

i guess i also want to say that just because you're feeling this way right now, like you need to pull the brakes on your job a little bit, doesn't mean you always will. and two (or more) things can absolutely be true at once - you can be great at what you do, have a genuine love for it, want to return to it in the future, and still be completely fucking exhausted by it all. i think doing what you can to reach out in terms of your mh and making that a priority would definitely serve you well in the long run. i took a break from it and now, when im starting to consider seeking part-time TA work again, i can see advantages of the job now that im looking from afar + after a break to recalibrate my mind and my approach. part-time hours might be a great compromise for you that works out - its a lot less overwhelming and a lot more manageable - but if that still ends up feeling like too much for you, that's okay. it's pretty clear that you're burnt out and in need of some deep emotional rest and catharsis, someone to talk through your feelings with so you can examine where they come from and how to cope with them healthily in the future, which is totally understandable - most people need that or a version of it at one point or another. i know the nhs is on its last legs esp in terms of mental health care, but i would encourage you to ask your doctor for a referral + seek out support groups in your area or any cost-effective private therapy practices if that's an option for you (a lot of them are willing to work with clients to agree on a manageable price.) anyway sorry for rambling, i think i just wanted you to know that you have numerous ways forward here and that your current stress level is completely justified + relatable to me as a TA with MH struggles. i think it's about finding a balance, whatever that looks like for you. im rooting for you and if you want to talk about this a bit more, i will be here. also, thank you so much for the kind words 💌💌 they really made my morning feel a bit less shit. i know im just a stranger and nobody has to take my words seriously or listen to them ever and it means a lot that they sometimes do. sending a big hug your way. it's ok to put yourself first for as long as you need and are able to! X

[matriarchjojo]

" TENJIKU'S WHORE "

izana, kakucho, rindou, ran, hanma, sanzu, shion, koko

18+, SADISM/MASOCHISM, stepping, spitting, degradation, exhibition, gangbang, circlejerk, rough sex, choking, unprotected, creampie, hardcore Sex, squirting, cumming untouched, all characters are over 18, readers skin color is not mentioned

you fucked up today, and are going to get punished by izana but uh oh!! They found out you're a masochist?!

You fucked up big time today, you are pretty dumb and don't think twice about things.

And today you messed with another gang member..you kicked him in the balls for hitting on you and now after they have found out that you are part of the tenjiku gang, they will be going after everybody in that gang. 

"Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea, huh?" Izana spoke up as you just stood there; knees together, looking down and with your hands together. You were so embarrassed..

every one of the higher-ups was staring at you, with disappointment/annoyence in their eyes. "I-am..I'm sorry I didn't-" "you didn't what? Think? Yeah, you never do" kakucho mentioned, who was standing next to and looking down at you.

It was noticeable that they are sick of you fucking up so much, and apologizing but not changing. "I'm really sorry-" izana cut you off by grabbing you by the collar and stared into your already glassy eyes "this will be the last time, understand?" 

You thought you were let off the hook but you thought oh so wrong. Izana's palm hit your cheek, but the Sound of an open palm hitting bare flesh wasn't the only thing that was loud in the warehouse right now.

you moaned.

The men thought it was just a little sound of pain but it was way too erotic to be just a squeal of pain.

No. 

It was a moan.

The haitani brothers' eyes didn't leave you for a second now, along with shions. "Wh-what?" Kakucho stuttered, completely taken aback by your moan.

This slap felt so hot, your pussy was flooding your panties right now. Any other type of Touch would lead to you wetting the whole floor below you

"did she just..moan?" Rindou questioned. But his question Was already answered by your shaking legs.

Hanma chuckled in the back and started walking towards you "I always knew you were filthy in some type of way..but I didn't know this filthy," He said while blowing the smoke of his cigarette in your face, leading you to whimper at that degrading action. The men would be lying if they said their cocks wouldn't be hard as a fucking rock right now. Even izana was hard, unbelievably hard at that.

I mean he was a sadist, everyone knew that he liked making people suffer. 

Sanzu stood against a wall with his hands in his pockets to hide his growing erection, seeing you like this was so fucking hot. "You like that, huh?" Izana chuckled, you were shaking on the ground at this point..this was so humiliating, but that's also something that turned you on "u-uh-ahh~" a hand from behind suddenly grabbed your hair in a tight grip 

"better try answering without fucking stuttering for once." It was shion. "Yes." You choked out and his grip on your hair got softened. You felt something in your stomach build up and your clit twitch. "mh~ she's fucking disgusting.. we didn't know you were that nasty" Ran chuckled coming closer to you with his brother following, Koko was really new to this but you are really pretty and cute, he saw the mid-long white-haired man step forward with the brothers so Koko decided to follow, of course he wanted to see a oretty girl fall apart as well.

The men were now standing in a circle around you, this was so embarrassing, you hated it..but loved it just as much. 

"Kaku, slap her." Izana ordered abruptly making kakucho jump "what?.." he doesn't hit women and he promised himself that he never will. But on the other hand, you seem to enjoy getting hurt..and he doesn't dare to ignore izanas orders

"o-okay.." he said after the small conflict in his mind. The brothers watched closely with a wicked grin on their faces. 

"Fucking good for nothing slut." Hanma whispered against your ear through gritted teeth, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Hanma enjoyed this just as much as izana, and like izana, hanma is a raging sadist, he could hurt you or even just watch you getting hurt for as long as you're concious. Kakucho stood now in front of you and as he squatted down in front of your pathetically shaking and cute body he took you by the collar as izana did, lifted his hand, and landed a harsh slap "AAAH~" you moaned loudly, you tried to Cover your mouth but sanzu's cold hands stopped yours from doing that. 

You felt like if another slap hit you, you would cum in front of all of them. But something worse happened, ran gripped your chin, and grinned.

"Open your whore mouth." Izana snarled with the same grin ran had. Your hands were shaking in sanzu's grip. You parted your quivering lips until they were open with your tongue out, the younger haitani felt as his cock was throbbing at seeing your mouth wide open and your tongue hanging out, just waiting to be fucked. But that's not what his brother did.

Ran puckered his lips and spit into your mouth before slapping you. That was the last straw. Your back began to arch and your thighs spread open as a Transparent Fluid squirted through your panties "a-ahhh- ahh!" Koko couldn't tear his eyes away from your absolutely drenched panties 

"O-oh my fucking.." he mumbled against the palm of his hand. Ran felt like he was gonna cum untouched too at the sight of the mess you Made. Sanzu's eyes were shot wide open as he kept a strong grip on your stiff and tensed up hands.

Izana Was crazy fucking horny now, he couldn't stop himself he needed to hear more of your cute and pathetic sounds "Sanzu, ran. Slam her onto the floor and hold her legs open." They did as he said, while you were still shaking from your abrupt and unsatisfying orgasm.

Sanzu's blue eyes stared into yours with a burning desire in them, basically, everyone in this room wanted to fuck you even more than before they knew you were such a masochist who would just let herself get whored out.

"Who the fuck said you could just cum on the fucking floor" izana said through gritted teeth and pressed the tip of his shoe onto your twitching and sensitive clit "AHH!" you yelled and threw your head back. "Now you're gonna let all of these men fuck that naughty and disgusting hole of yours, ain't that right?" He and all the other men grinned at you, your whole body felt hot. 

You bit your lip but then screamed out in pleasure again as izana bend down and slapped your clit "I fucking asked you something" Ran smiled at you "better answer, little tenjiku slut~" you just nodded frantically, not being able to get a single word out. "Good, let her go." Sanzu and ran stared at izana in confusion but let you go and stood up. Izana sat down on one of the crates of the huge warehouse that was used as tenjiku's hideout

"c'mon, take it all off. Put on a Show like the slut that you are doll!" you tried to stand up but every time you got on your feet, your wobbling legs Made you fall right back onto the floor. 

The men around you were chuckling at you kept falling. But once you managed to stand up and stay up, you zipped your tenjiku uniform down exposing your pink lace bra, with a cute hot pink bow in the middle. "How innocent for a girl who just came in front of a whole gang of men— untouched even!" shion lightly laughed.

You whined at the Constant degradation but continued to take your jacket off. You were now just in your underwear, it was cold in the warehouse but your body was still hot because of all of the hungry eyes on you. There Was something about Feeling like a prey that really turned you on. You tried to cover your body but the brothers, sanzu and hanma had a good view of your thong that was exposing your ass. "We can still see everything there's no need to hide anything" Ran commented.

Izana let out a quick 'tsk' and snapped his fingers to get your attention "you ain't don't yet, pet"

your thighs started to shake again at the nickname "b-but i-" "shut up." Izana ordered and pointed with his finger at your whole body "I still see your drenched panties and your bra."

Your hips began to wiggle involuntarily in the need of being touched again, your little fingers started to unhook your bra and you let your soft tits Pop-out "fuck.." it was all too much for kakucho, he's only seen boobs in porn. So basically he's a virgin. The cold air hit your nipples and got hard, so you placed your hands on either one of them. hanma took a drag of his cigarette and chuckled deeply "pretty girl got some pretty tits" this was the only praise you heard and it was from the one you least expected it from. But he quickly went back to being mean by yanking your hands away from your perky tits 

"C'mon, continue" izana spoke up again with his legs spread, still sitting on the crate. You whined and slid your panties that were connected to your pussy by a string of slick. You haven't noticed that the brothers started filming with their phones

"oh fuck..do you see that.." rindou groaned. "Yeah..she's so fucking wet.." Ran answered and bit his bottom lip after. Your panties were now off too. Izana seemed pleased "now, who's gonna fuck you first?" This question made your thighs squish together.

As izana's question left his mouth all the Men's eyes were back on you, with even more hunger than before "i-Uhm... I don't-" you stuttered but then got cut off by izanas sigh

"then I will decide for you." You already knew izana would choose "kaku!" he turned his head as his earings swung from side to side looking at the flushed man next to him "m-me? Why me?" 

Izana laughed "because you never touched a woman before! You don't have to fuck her, she can just suck your dick or whatever" you started to get more and more flustered thinking about having kakucho's cock in your mouth and thinking about how big he would be.. kakucho nodded and stepped forward standing in front of you. Kakucho Was probably just as embarrassed as you he suddenly whispered "I don't wanna have my first time when everyone is watching..if you want to we can maybe do it alone after this." His hands were on your shoulders and he stood back up straight and tried to look as intimidating as possible

"get on your knees, tenjiku whore." Your body twitched and you obeyed. You knew exactly what to do and pulled his pants down, his cock hit your cheek as it sprung free from his boxers

"ah!" You whined at the slapping sound and the little precum that hit your face "go on. Fucking suck it" the tall man in front of you ordered. And you didn't waste any time to take the half of his length down your throat, kakuchos hands immediately went to your head to grip your hair, this feeling was so amazing but he tried so hard not to praise you

"f-fucking slut" you moaned when the degrading comment left his mouth and his grip got tighter, before you realized it he came down your throat. You were too lost in the pain and too cockdrunk to notice that kakucho was moaning and fucking your throat, he then pulled out and slapped you "did I tell you to keep going?" You bit your bottom lip and covered up your tits with your hands again while you shook your head. "Exactly."

He sounded mean and angry but then he hungrily kissed you, even though you still had some of his cum in your mouth.

He pulled his lips from yours and slapped you again "AH!" Your face already looked so fucking messy, your false lashes were barely hanging on anymore, your mascara and eyeliner were running down your cheeks and to top the beautiful look off your lips were glistening with spit and precum and not your lipgloss anymore. 

Izana snapped his fingers again and said "shion, mess her up" he immidietly got up from his seat, licked his lips and grabbed you by the throat, and pushed you down onto the floor "oh I will mess her up, don't worry." He grinned down at you gripping your throat tighter until you were gasping, his other hand was taking his pants off, and his cock was almost as big as kakuchos but he was a little bit longer.

"Shion! I-it won't fit- AHHG" your whining didn't matter to him he just shoved his cock all the way inside you. "Aaah! Night!"

Shion started slamming his cock in and out of you making a loud and wet slapping sound "fuck, that's a good fucking pussy- ugh.." his grip got tighter with every snap of his hips, making your eyes roll back and your pussy squirt onto his abdomen and balls.

This made shion laugh but also even hornier, his grip got so tight that your face turned redder and tears were streaming down your face, you couldn't breathe but your pussy kept clenching him tightly. 

"careful, ya don't wanna kill her" rindou said as he kept filming where you and shion were connected. "Shut up!" Shion yelled breathlessly staring down at your cute fucked out face "ya gonna cum again, hm?" Shion wiggled your head from side to side by your throat as he asked and felt your pussy gushing around him again, his thumb and Index fingers found your clit and rolled it between his fingers. 

You were so fucking close but he pulled out and painted your face and tits with his cum, he chuckled at your crying as he let go of your throat "maybe you get to cum with the next one, whore"

and with that he got back up leaving you there shaking on the ground, your begging eyes met kokos wide ones and he immediately felt his cock throb at your glistening eyes.

Izana chuckled "you want the New one to fuck you? Then fine." Koko couldn't believe that he actually got to fuck you. But he won't deny an order "yes, boss" he said and walked over to you. He placed your legs on his shoulders while he unbuckled his belt and then pulled fat and leaking cock out, unlike shion he rubbed it against your leaking slit to then let it glide slowly in. 

"Ahhh k-k-Koko!~" you stuttered, and Koko slapped you "shut up, dollface" he grinned and began to pound into you at a relentless pace "s-still so fuckin' tight" he chuckled and Stuck his tongue out at you "gonna let me cum inside? Gonna be a lil cumdump? I might pay ya for it if im feelin' generous~"

His big hands took a hold of both your cheek making your lips pout "y-yes-! A-ahh!" Koko flashed you a cocky grin before spitting into your face "slut." 

He bit his lip and threw his head back as he came deep inside you, he kept his fast pace up until he made you cum as well, and you immediately did.

You started screaming but Koko put a hand over your mouth to shut you up, your brain was now completely off. 

The only thought in your mind was 'cock' and 'cum' nothing more. Izana smiled as he realized he already broke you "already? We've already broken your little mind?" He asked with a calm Tone in his voice.

Izana began to palm his erection at your dumb expression as Koko left your heavy breathing body shaking on the floor. You were smiling and enjoyed seeing you like this. 

"Haitani's, have fun with her" you suddenly started giggling when you heard the brothers' names, you always wanted them to Ruin you. And guess what, they wanted to Ruin your pretty little pussy too. "Rin, which hole do you want?" Ran asked his younger brother as he smiled down at you with a hand on his hip. "I don't want that used and full pussy" rindou grinned at your messy face while he took his glasses off and put them into his jacket. 

Ran got in front of you to pick you up and hold you against his chest "go on brother" he chuckled. Rin spit on his hand and stroked his length while the other Hand was spreading your ass with his thumb, Your weak hands grabbed at ran's broad shoulders as you felt rindou's tip ease into your asshole 

"P-p-put it in d-d-daddy!" You moaned as your nails dug into rans shoulder blades. All of the men's cocks got hard again as those words left your plump and wet lips, and the men whose cocks were hard the whole time started leaking so much precum it started to stain through their pants

"dirty bitch." Rindou chuckled before ramming his cock into you and didn't even let you adjust "fuck..you feel fuckin' good for such a dirty whore" he moaned into your hair.

You started sobbing when you felt rans cock proud against your cum and slick dripping hole "dirty~" Ran whispered against your ear and shoved himself inside you.

"AA-AAAHH! DADDY! DADDY!" you cried out while your eyes rolled back and immediately came on rans cock making the taller haitani laugh at you

"fuck, you're such a good little whore, aren't ya? Would take any cock up your ass and pussy you could get, huh?"

you nodded as you drooled on his shoulder and grinned, looking completely dumb. The brothers aren't gonna last long if you keep being too fucking hot and squeezing around their cocks.

And they really didn't last long, ran's gloved hand suddenly grabbed the flesh of your thigh and fucked his cock deeper and harder into you "fuck, fuck! Gonna cum inside, angel" your mouth started sucking on ran's neck as you felt both of their cocks throb before shooting their hot cum into your messy and tight holes.

Rindou pulled out as he was breathing heavily against your neck "gonna fuck this pussy someday too, little bitch~" he said before kissing your neck and helping ran to place you on the floor waiting for the next cock.

And that was hanma. He chuckled, took a drag from his newly lit cigarette, and walked over to you. He was towering over your quivering little form "ya want it in your mouth, cumdump?" Hanma patted your cheek, took his belt off, and Held his cigarette in between his lips.

You nodded with your tongue out like a puppy waiting for a treat. He run a hand through his hair and slapped his cock on your tongue repeatedly as he chuckled deeply at you trying to get his fat cock in your mouth. Hanma stopped teasing, shoved his whole 8 inches down your throat, and watched your eyes fill with tears.

Hearing you choke on his cock filled his cheat with pride, he took another drag and blew the smoke in your wet face

"hollow your cheeks, babe" his hand with sin tatted on it grabbed your head and started using your throat like a fleshlight. You did as he asked and heard him let out a guttural moan which made your pussy flutter and drip onto the floor.

Your eyes didn't break eye contact with Ranma for a single second, you saw him puff out another cloud of smoke but then he put the lit cigarette out on your cheek. And your pussy started flooding, as you moaned around his length.

Izana took his cock out and started to walk over to you "you want all of our cum on your dirty face don't you, slut?" Izana glanced at all the men and they did what they were told to do. 

They certainly didn't have anything against this, so they All formed a circle around you again with their cocks standing hard in front of your face and led your hand onto his cock to jerk him off and sanzu grabbed onto your other hand, you noticed that he took his mask off just to show you how much he enjoyed seeing you get tormented by the huge grin on his pretty and scarred lips.

Hanma took his cock out of your mouth and started stroking himself on top of your face, it wasn't long until you came untouched again..being the Center of attention filled your pussy with need.

Ran noticed that and slammed his heel onto your back "dirty fucking slut" he laughed.

You couldn't even remember who came onto you first because you felt like you were gonna pass out and now you were laying on the floor with handprints on your cheeks and shoe prints on your whole body, and of course cum covered you from head to tor.

You were so happy.

Izana squatted down and spit in your face but then kissed you softly "gonna get you a collar so everyone knows who's mind broken fuck doll you are. And maybe ill get you a new Position as the tenjiku whore~"

[roseband]

... 

[oddballwriter]

omg, if you didn't have a similar request, could you write that the guys from emh and mh will gift to the reader?:0 you are very comfy writer, btw!!<3

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of preservation jars and animal bones in HABIT's part 

Author’s Snip: I love this request so much aaaa

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Marble Hornets

Jay

He'd honestly get you something small that he feels like you'd enjoy

Like he'd see the most niche and random thing in a store and then think "They'd like this" and so he'd get it for you

And it would be accurate

You would in fact like it

Tim

I feel like he gets you little nicknacks

Like they'd serve no purpose other than be a thing in your house

But its the fact that he will get you it, and then you will find a place to put it in your house

There's something about that that he likes and so he'll just continue to do it

Brian

Cute idea

He's actually very crafty and will gift you some of the things that he made

Most of the time he made the thing to be something you can have

Like idk, if you like those types of nicknack dolls that are made of other things, then he'll make you one of those or even a little group of them

He feels like it means more when he makes the gift for you and that's why he does it

Alex

He gets you something that you both have in common or something interesting

I do feel though that he would gift you posters and photos

Like he buys you posters of your favorite movies so you can have them around your house and also gifts you photos of the two of you together or doing something as forms of keepsake

Maybe he'd even buy you a Polaroid camera or something for your birthday

EveryManHYBRID

Evan

I've said this before but Evan would totally gift you tiny things he found either on his jogs or along a trail

Like he'll come back with a cool rock, lost piece of something, or a neat bottle cap and be like "Is 4 u <3"

Of course he'll buy you a little sometimes but I feel like he's the type to find something a little more special in finding interesting things and giving them to you

He shows affection like a bird /pos

Vinny

I feel like if you have something that you already collect, then he'd just get something to add to it

Like say you collect space themed things

He'd get you something that has stars, moon, or planets on it

Maybe you collect bug taxidermy

It might freak him out a bit but if he can find some money to spend then he'll get you a little case with a bug in it or something

Basically, if you have 'a theme/thing' then he'll just add to it

Jeff

This man would honestly get you anything you wanted

If money wasn't a limit to him then honestly he'd get you anything you stared at for more that a few seconds

But he'd honestly get you whatever he could

However, he obviously won't just buy you anything he sees

He pays attention and knows what you like, and if he thinks you'll like something he sees then he'll see if he can get it for you

HABIT

He gifts you weird, but also cool stuff

He'd probably gift you animal skulls or teeth

The skulls are always from animals and he says that the teeth are from animals

He says that they're animal teeth, remember that

I honestly feel like where Evan gifts you things he finds like a bird, HABIT gifts you things you find like a cat

It's mostly something dead

But dead things can be cool

Don't worry though, he doesn't just place it in you hand, he gifts them in little preservation jars

[sashi-ya]

➡ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐊𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐁𝐲𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐱 𝐅! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 [𝐂𝐡.𝟏]

hi babes, so I wasn't planning on posting this fic here but since a lot of people have enjoyed my previous fic of him for the Under The Moon Event I told myself; why not? So here it is! I originally posted it on A03, so if you come from there thank u for visiting me here!

tw: smut, pure sinful smut with a tint of angst cause u know, emo captain with painful past and dead wife. Masturbation. Giving this beautiful man a bath. I did include the F! reader cause it's part of a series where the Lieutenant (IS NOT RENJI) is afab and f! so yeah. Tho this chap is pure GN! no mentions of gender whatsoever.

wc: 2k

masterlist

A03

Sweet eyes don't you look at anybody else, For you I am crazy, and to another world you take me, Let me look at you a little longer, so I can die in your eyes, oh in those glimmering eyes.

His silver scarf, Ginpaku Kazahana no Uzuginu, rests now over the little couch next to the bath. White fine haori with the number six falls from his shoulders to the floor, your soft hands slip the clothes off his body.

What a stressful day… isn’t it, Kuchiki Taichou?

The smell of sweet camellias and cherry blossoms fills up the place, the Kuchiki manor’s suite bathroom is as big as the rest of the barracks and it’s the perfect place for your captain to relax after a long day.

Drop by drop the bamboo tub fills with warm water. You have drizzled it with essential oils because what else could a noble deserve if not the best?

You also take his gloves off, one by one, pulling delicately. And while you brush your nails through his raven silky hair, you unclip his Kensaiken. Beautiful hairpiece that symbolizes his linage. His royal linage.

You have made sure your hands are soft and silky, caresses must be as subtle as the warm breeze of the spring that plays with the several sakura buds. It’s not that Kuchiki Byakuya is weak, no. It’s just the less you could do, he is like made of gold for you.

Your palms grazing against his pale skin feels like a blessing, for you, for him. Yet, his frown and icy stare never leaves his countenance.  “When will your winter end, Kuchiki Taichou?”

Lastly, his Shihakusho. The garment of dead Souls, his uniform. Last barrier in between your eyes to finally discover his nudity. Once again, another night.

Will Byakuya make love to you tonight? After your dedication, after your hands cleaning his body? He can’t, he says he can’t. He says he is not able. He says that he is not a man. But you don’t care, he is a man for you, nevertheless.

“Taichou, are you ready?” you whisper, untying the cord that holds his kimono around his waist. Byakuya widens his eyes, he is an intelligent man, and he knows that there is more than a meaning to that question.

“Mh…” he hums with a slow nod.

He stands up and follows you. As he walks the loosen sash allows the yukata to finally open. Pale, clean, lean. Perfect anatomy that you had only bathed and praised. But never enjoyed, but never tasted.

His collar bones are the only place where his Shihakusho is holding from, but soon it ends on the floor. You face him and your hand skilfully made the cloth fall. “As always, perfection is not enough to describe you, Byakuya-sama” you whisper, looking up, rejoicing on the sharpness of his jaw, on the sharpness of his steel eyes.

You swear you saw a tiny smirk on the commissure of his lips and driven by the impulse of your racing heart you dare to grab his hand. “Please, Kuchiki Taichou…” you guide him to the tub. First, his right leg. Then his left one. You avoid fixing your eyes on his core, you want to see, you want to indulge in such depiction of impurity. But you don’t. Not yet, not just yet.

He submerges half of his body into the lukewarm water that you prepared for him, he closes his eyes, and his frown slowly fades, though his lips never draw a smile.

And you don’t care, he wouldn’t let anybody else do this for him… it’s just you, just you. And that’s enough.-

You, as always, crawl inside the tub. Sitting behind him. When you are ready, he comes closer. Byakuya’s back rests on your chest and your arms snake around his waist. And your hands twitch… “Go lower” they say, “Slide them until his sex” they plead. But you wait, you just wait.

The intimacy of the moment… doesn’t it feel like making love? It does for you. And certainly, it does for him, too.

You trace paths from pec to pec with a sponge. You squeeze it, letting water drops imbued in oils drizzle his abs. The scents mix with his own, he has been training hard, you can tell. He doesn’t smell bad, not at all, it is indeed the ambrosial perfume of a man, of a strong man. You are tempted, so driven to kiss, to bite at least a patch of skin on the muscles of his neck. How long could you wait?

Byakuya exhales loudly when your hands slide down to his abs, he knows you aren’t gonna go any further but is that what he wants?

“Taichou, is this, ok?” you ask, placing your chin over his shoulder, whispering on his neck. “Y-yes” he mumbles, out of breath, maybe even suffering your unholy touch around his belly button. Byakuya feels like trembling, like his teeth wanna chatter…

You pull your hand out of the water and let the sponge aside. It’s time to rinse the soapiness off his skin. A little wooden cup serves perfectly to collect water and sprinkle it over him. He squirms as you do so, everything feels extremely sensitive for him, or maybe it’s just they way he is dying for you to go further.

But you won’t, not until he says so.

The same vase you used for rinsing his abs now works perfectly for his back, but mainly for his long hair. As the water falls over his head, he throws it back and his lips opens apart. Pale lips you are dying to kiss, to devour, lick.

Massaging his scalp, so slowly and lovingly, you rip a subtle moan from his throat. You have to take a moment to deal with how dizzy your head feels at this point, dizzy with heart pumping blood so strong into your ears.

“Please, Kuchiki Taichou…” you think, in pain. Sex in pain, core in pain.

Shivers run through your spine as he does so. Your hands squeeze his shoulder in a clear reaction of pure satisfaction to a single, so insignificant touch. But was it really insignificant? Not for that man, allowing himself to touch another woman is not the same as allowing other woman to touch him. That single touch was a statement. That touch told you to go on, it says “keep going, keep doing this”

Your right hand, as if it was moved by an invisible force, slides from under his arm to his stomach. It remains there lingering, but fighting against the need to touch, to feel. The bath is over, but none of you want to go outside. You want to stay; he wants you to stay.

You can feel his belly going so slowly up and down, sometimes taking deep breaths. You know those you make when you need to release some pressure building up, a type of pressure that both excites and strangles you.

Your cheek rests over his nape, little drops fall from his hair to your eyelids. “Byakuya-sama, thank you for this” you sincerely whisper, grazing one side of your lips against his flesh. He only hums, is not that he doesn’t want to speak, he simply can’t. An internal debate is going on inside his mind, his chest, his heart…

And you remain like this for what you think it’s eternity, and you wouldn’t care if it really was.

Outside, for the very first time in months rain started falling over the Seireitei. And the sound of the drops falling from the sky hit over the tin roof of the Kuchiki manor. It mixes with the sound of his breathing, with the sound of the little drops on the tub, the sound of both hearts beating so fast.

And they beat as fast as they can, because from now on there won’t be a way back. Byakuya’s hand has grabbed yours and slowly but surely, he makes it go down, down to where sin begins. You tremble as you feel the bumpiness of his muscles on a tight skin. The sharp edge of his pelvic bone, the depression of his femoral zone.

 You gasp as the water isn't as wet as the tip of his sex. "Byakuya-sama" you whisper, still unable to process you are really touching him. "I need-" he moans, stuttering, cutting his own words short because your fingers round his length. 

"What do you need, Taichou? Tell me, please" you urge, this time kissing his nape and then the crook of his neck. Byakuya doesn't answer. He can't articulate any words, he just whimpers and moans as you squeeze and concentrate your efforts on his gland. You want him to squirm, to burst. 

"It's ok; Kuchiki Taichou. It's ok. Just…" you tell him knowing too well this is the first time he is allowing another woman to touch him that’s not Hisana. You feel the increasing pulse of his carotid over your lips. And as his pulse increases because your hands’ rhythm does the same. Up and down, you go, while fingers tap, squeeze, play with his tip. 

He throws his head back, resting it over your shoulder. Your teeth now graze his sharp jaw, and your ears indulge in the sweet symphony of his accelerated breathing. His nails carve harder on your thigh, his eyes shut tight. Byakuya has fallen into the most beautiful trap of pleasure and ecstasy.

“I- please” he begs. What does he want? you don’t know. But you won’t stop, you won’t. Even if he loses control of his own body, you won’t.  “Taichou, what is it? Do you like this?” you ask, smirking, adoring his frown, that's not an icy one, no. His stare is pure pleasure, pure bliss. 

Water splashes at each side of the bathtub, and you're dying to see him splash too, you are dying to hear him moan as the bursting point inevitably reaches him. His mouth opens and closes several times, though no speech abandons his lips. 

“Say it, Byakuya-sama” you urge him, using one of your hands to squeeze his cheeks. His silver eyes suddenly open, severe sight fixed on yours. Glimmering eyes that make you wonder if you had gone way too far with your captain. You swallow, scared, stopping your hands motions but never letting go of his face. 

When Byakuya opens his mouth, and finally is able to verbalise something, he begs you… “Don’t…stop… (Name), please…”. You lick your teeth and the grin on your lips looks feral, maybe even demonic. “Very well, Captain” you moan in his ear, biting his earlobe and going back to the milking motions of your hands around his throbbing, so hard and so needy sex. 

Soon he begins to squirm, looking at the side with eyes fixed on yours, but who knows if he was really seeing anything. “Fuck” he grunts, as you can feel the pumping sensation of his sex while reaching climax. 

“Captain, I didn’t know you could swear like that” you tell him, biting your lip, probably because you are the first person to hear a noble like him spit a bad word. His eyelids fall sloppily over his starry eyes, and as he relaxes his jaw muscles, he smirks. 

He turns around, violently, suddenly, and unexpectedly. Of course, an orgasm won’t let the great Captain of the Sixth division out of battle. 

“Lieutenant… this mouth can say and do even worse things. And I’m gonna tell you exactly what will happen now” he utters with his low voice, a little raspier than ever. His nose grazes yours, and your back hits the walls of the tub. His presence, his reiatsu, his whole entirety crushes you. 

He slips his hands under your thighs, pulling you up and sitting you over his lap. “I’m gonna fuck you until you lose consciousness, you know?” he whispers, licking your upper lip. 

To be continued ~

PART 2

[redxblueihateloveyou]

what do you think about the argument that rin & haru are astrologically incompatible? (I saw mhs use it a lot)

lol we literally just a few days ago discussed it with@tododeku-or-bust

1. Just bc I know that in animes they do pay attention to it, back in the days we already been through this. I again won't force it on anyone, but I'm pretty sure from all the things they said it's clear as day that the creator's idea behind rinharu Aquarius/Cancer relationships in Free! is this:

"free to actually be themselves instead of living in a symbiotic relationship" get it get it? this was openly said in books and is the point of the anime too, as I said before in this post, anime is full of unsubtle things, showing who makes Haru feel how and what.

Haru is one of those people, who won't settle for someone who doesn't make him feel ALL OF THAT, he simply won't. And he can't be happy like that, that's the point. If he could, he'd already be there.

Wangxian for example are also what they call astrologically incompatible. And while it's true that with wangxian and harurin its a tougher battle bc of their personalities, bc its hella hard for them to get there bc they communicate like:

- I just wanna be with you.

- Oh I get it, so you wanna fight?

But that also as they say in zodiac mean that when they finally sort things out its the most satisfying love in existence that will last forever, bc they make each other strikingly happy and they can't get enough of that feeling.

These two ships sometimes remind me this song thats called "sink or swim" by tyrone wells, you know. (kamikaze airplanes in the sky, are we going down or will we fly? this could be a shipwreck on the shore or we could sail away forevermore). It's really all or nothing for them.

2. I have to tell you a hilarious story. I'm personally not a horoscope believer myself, like to me it doesn't make much sense, bc of what I've seen, but if anyone is interested here's the funny thing. I've only realized it after this talk and that made me go like "oh shit maybe it is true" a bit lmao bc we couldn't stop laughing with my sister.

So my parents are divorced. My mom is also Cancer, born June 29th (Haru June 30th) and my dad is a Scorpio (October 26th) LMAO. Yeah, yeah xD. They're still friends, it wasn't like a loud angry divorce or anything. I've asked them, they allowed to share. So the thing is. My mom didn't care for love, she just wanted kids a lot (she always loved kids, she's a teacher and you know I have two sisters, she had my elder sister very young and it was like knowingly and deliberately), she started dating my dad, bc she said he felt secure to have a kid with, not bc she was in love with him (yeah, kind of a dick move, since my dad liked her very much from the beginning but well). They got divorced for many reasons, like bc my dad is very conservative (well, its Russia and u know he was raised that way, he's religious and superstitious and all that), while my mom is very open minded etc etc, and there's this hilarious thing, I'm not gonna say, but my god its literally too close to a certain bad part of someone's relationships; but yeah, there were lots of things (some were TMI info for my poor ears when I once got drunk with my dad in a hotel), but shortly they just couldn't make each other happy.

And my mom, you know her already from her apartment being a wangxian shrine. She adores both wangxian and harurin. And the saddest part to me in this, was always the fact that while we were watching this, what she said is that she was jealous of them, bc she never had someone who could make her feel that way. And while we were talking once, she did say that it doesn't mean that she didn't love my dad at some point, but she said that she never once been in love in her life, but again like her goal in life was to have me and my sisters, so...

So my point is, it's true that not everyone in their life can find that kind of thing, and hell not everyone in their life want to find that kind of thing. No Haru, no Lan Zhan for example didn't try to find it, it just fell on them. They of course were offended at first, bc like who wants their world to be turned upside down and suddenly want all that? It's like I was fine, bitch. But as soon as they leave... and they're like "oh I guess I can go back to my old way", they already fucking can't. After they tasted how it can be, their previous way of living is already no fun for them and they can't forget it and cant let it go.

So like in my opinion considering the fact that this show's theme is being in love means being free, you gotta understand that it is what it is. Like ofc we're all different and everyone is looking for different things, plus everyone has different life views and goals and not for everyone it makes sense. I'm very in Haru's state of mind of "yeah, I don't need it, I love my personal space, like I don't find the need in a relationship per se, like I'd rather be alone, than with someone who makes me feel nothing or not enough". But I get that some people just don't want to be alone and some stuff for them is enough as long as it's calm and they don't see "why would you want to try so hard for love".

But yeah, the point is Haru is Haru. Like we have to take into account here the way he is, not you are. I guess you can argue if Makoto would have a chance if Rin didn't exist (to me it's a no, bc even before him entering the picture in the book its not good, like it said stuff like that each time Makoto tried to help Haru, he made him feel as if he was disabled and he hated that feeling and etc etc, so they just never clicked to me even before Rin), but it's true that the moment Rin entered the chat for Haru it was over. The moment he felt what he felt with him, there was no turning back. You can fight about it all you want, but thereality is even if Rin died and Haru would get with Makoto (which I don't think he would again, since I know to him its either all or nothing, but also even if he tried, I still think it would fall apart eventually), it would be a flop and just unfair to Makoto, too, so again in this particular story I do not see, why anyone would even want that for either of them.

So yeah, if you read closely about the meaning behind their compatibility but apply it to Free!, you'll get what they meant by that. And again as you see, its not that simple. Sometimes they reverse it. And that is definitely the case here, bc in several places it says that no matter how hard it is for Cancer to get it on with Aquarius at the end, it's worth it, bc only he can make him feel fully free and reach all the happiness and potential in life.

3. Also remember like that all people are different in real life, it depends on what they want and their character. So it's like what kind of Cancer, Aquarius and Scorpio you are.

I mean, even in fiction just bc WWX & LZ is a perfect combination, doesn't mean JC & LZ are too, just bc they're the same signs, right? You have to consider personal qualities, views on life and etc. Whats good for one, might be complete disaster for another. So I'm always arguing from the point of who Rin and Haru are and what they want. But since its fiction that clearly takes it into consideration and is all about meanings and stuff... my point still stands. Rin is the Aquarius who can make Haru fly, both in life and in his heart and they certainly won't let go of each other no matter how hard it is for them to get there. And once they do, they're it for each other.

P.S. Also in my opinion some ppl do not quite get what "incompatible" really means when it comes to a romantic relationships. I'm tired of those stupid arguments like "if they fight once a year, it means they're not meant to be" lmao right ok excuse us for the fact that we actually care too much about not being able to spend an extra hour together and can't confess. 🌚

P.P.S. my point is "astrologically incompatible" tbh ain't even an argument unless you back it up with smth, it all depends on the context of the characters and the story.

[leoprosy]

Monster High Live Action THOTS

welcome to thots :)

im ur host leonidas thotticus and today we are talking Monster High: The Movie (2022) with some spoilers ! it is all OPINION and only on the viewing of the movie versus my own MH opinions. Mostly on character portrayal and designs! and i had fun writing this lol

tbhh honestly i am not a good critic because a movie that entertains me is a good movie.

I think the best viewing experience is thinking of it as separate from the original because they aren't the same, and comparing them is kind of pointless, and i'll try to not do that but it is hard.

I'm only giving opinions here cause I haven't done any research besides like scrolling the tag on tumblr lol.

My fave was Frankie, obviously. Nonbinary, neurodivergent representation!! I felt very seen, and represented!! I wish i was that cool in high school! They're full of knowledge, don't really know social rules (and even comment on the fact that there seems to be this rule book that everyone but them has read) and man MOOD. I love their outfits, they are the right amount of ugly that i personally love to sport and yeah <3 big love for Frankie.

Draculaura made me kinda :/ initially because she's kinda a bitch at the beginning. but! she isnt meant to be G1 Draculaura! I wish she was kinder but she comes around. I really related to having parents that have insane expectations of you (the whole 'a 92% is failing' thing was like. wow mood.) and not wanting to let them down so you aren't your full self around them? heart breaking. love u draculaura. also loved that Dracula was a little pink lol.

Clawdeen was alright. Her actress was very um.... Disney in the 2000s acting wise. But like it wasn't bad! I think the half human half werewolf thing has the potential to be cool but they were really fast to be like 'hey we actually are cool with humans!' and outed Clawdeen which is weird like? i feel like the other students weren't just gonna be accepting immediately. Like, idk way to put a target on her. Her outfits were definitely not the most fashionable but i did like some of them! Also the ears were really cool :3 she also has a pretty singing voice ngl she killed it

Cleo was boring. i miss her being a mean girl who also supported her ghouls and loved them. like. she only comes around cause Clawdeen saved her? also dont understand Deuce's reasons for leaving her? were they bullies together and he didn't want to be anymore? i think that's what i got from that? wack.

Ghoulia also wasn't given very much screentime, and they took away the whole zombie genius thing!! which sucks cause i really liked that she was so smart even though people couldn't understand her all the time. But!! Cleo and the ghouls could and always trusted her!! she was such a side character in this movie. I get that maybe they didnt have the budget for the other characters to have bigger storylines or whatever and thats cool. I hope they do more with everyone in the animated show, cause it seems like it follows the same lore as the movie thus far.

Deuce actually still very swaggy even though he looks like Jughead. I miss his sunglasses cause how tf do normal glasses protect people !?!?! maybe they explained it and i missed it

Heath :( my poor flamey boy. :( the cgi was so bad. and he barely did anything. but again, not enough budget and time whatever. pls more heath in the show <3

I loved Bloodgood but her jacket was like. so cheap looking. the lining stuff on the collar was so weird? like they didn't completely cover it? and the buttons were weird? idk it didnt vibe with me.

Mr. Komos did look like Jackson and then wound up being Hyde's son which is cool! fun twist! easy to see coming but still interesting i think. His full monster design was kinda funny though. like not super scary. the power to take other monster's powers?? pretty sick ngl.

Some of the outfits were boring, some of them were alright and fun even! Frankie's were my favorite obvs. I think they gave Draculaura a darker aesthetic which is cool and witchy but i also hope they bring back some of the more like dainty victorian looks to kinda idk? balance it? clash a little in a good way? they were more modern designs for sure and i get that, and that it wasn't ever going to be as alternative and gothic as the original and thats okay! i think they could've done more but hey. budget i guess.

OVERALL

it was as cheesy and goofy and plot-hole ridden as any other MH movie I've seen. Was it a Cinematic Masterpiece? No. Was it pretty okay? yeah! fun, silly, definitely a kids movie I would've enjoyed as a kid. I'd say if you're gonna watch it- pirate it! and maybe don't go in thinking you're gonna hate it cause then i mean, yeah you're gonna hate it. it isnt G1, don't expect it to be.

thank u for coming to my thots, i might do this more often because its fun :) there are lots of movies i've never seen that everyone ever has seen so maybe? i'll do that! idk like and subcscribes

[badbacksadsack]

merry xmas guys, be safe

It could be whatever I feel alone a lot even when I'm with someone I feel like I don't check in enough with self I would like to do better at checking in Maybe check out some journal prompts I feel bad about being a sw I feel guilty and shameful about asking men on the internet for help however the times that I needed money felt dirty too I felt as if I was being bent over a metaphorical barrel by life

Just existing after coming back to the UK (adter being forced into islamic boarding school in africa) without any parents or family to support me I felt like I had to make money to survive somehow Existing was expensive so many costs with no income streams, the only people I've told were doing the same thing or 'worse' selling and taking dr(u)gs, coincidentally the first proper lgbtqia+ group of friends I've ever met/lived with which honestly clouds my judgment of a whole group I'm a part of It really shouldn't, I honestly wish it didn't My representation of the 'community' or the one I now belong to, the chosen family rather than (over) my 'actual' (biological) family seems to be (is/) one just as dysfunctional, gaslighty and gatekeeping as the one I escaped and I felt like I had to do what I usually do, disengage, avoid, not share myself as freely to protect my energy, my fragile mental health (i want to build resilience) and become 'harsh' aka be stingy with my finances (it felt harsh whenever my mum/sister used to share anything they would leverage that thing, now I struggle to recognise I need help and hate asking for it) and I wish to be generous but with boundaries so it doesn't feel harsh, to have money for myself, my future house, my goals to build the life I want Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone Above happiness is peace, that is the goal I am part of everyone and my happiness matters Whether or not I am under or overweight, I matter and Everyone deserves to eat no matter what, it is a basic necessity. I didn't have the language to express to my ex, a communist mental health nurse, a person who worked in that (mine)field of psychology, that I was struggling in part due to psychosocial factors not just MH problems or home dynamic stuff w my brother, I was flat broke, not eating, not getting a good circadian rhythm, the pandemic started and I was struggling with picking up my meds on time, feeling worse than I've ever felt when off them, then the pressure of my uncle and getting to shifts, after there was a shooting there, being on public transport in peak covid, getting groceries and cleaning the house I had stopped talking to (broken up with my abusive ex best friend) around that time so honestly the lack of a support system or any one to talk to was getting to me with the icing being that fucking traumatising few days where I injured my hand, got sectioned with stitches in my finger, got drunk w few days after, stupidly thought to surprise him, got the long way by bus bc the trains were off, ended up getting there in some dark area I wasn't familiar with, Drunk, and at unsociable hours, I wrote a left handed Drunk note left it on his car and spent the night stranded at the station until the sun came up because the buses weren't running I forgive myself for not having the words that day or any time around that I forgive myself for drinking when I didn't have any other coping mechanisms or anyone to talk to I forgive myself for calling the police on my violent abusive sister because if I had any other way to manage that situation safely, if I could handle it, I would have, I didn't mean anyone any harm that day and I took back the statement very soon after even with my black eye

I refuse to live my life in the past, my actions back then when I had nobody to listen, or talk to, or feel warmth about aren't who I am or will be.

My past selves are not reflective of my whole future selves, I learned a lot of life lessons to apply. Not all good or all bad, shades of grey. I forgive myself for not having the language to express to my current partner how scared I am sometimes because of situations I've been through, don't want to ever repeat or what I've been told. I forgive myself for shutting down when I've been taught to be small, have no needs and stop talking. I am human I deserve to speak, my lack of words sometimes is not a lack of feeling. The opposite, when I feel I get scared they might make the other person reject me, it triggers my abandonment wound, as a kid I felt I needed my mum to guide, love, support me but she was her own depressed person with an abandonment wound herself, she is human and humans can make mistakes. Life lessons from my mum are not all good but they're not all bad, shades of grey. I have to know what I'm healing from in order to move on. I have the power to release myself from the shackles I put on myself, self limiting beliefs are the water getting into your ship to sink it. I want to keep scooping that negative energy out of my vessel, I want to mind my thoughts, think light thoughts and when life gets stormy I want to sit with myself in the rain until it feels safe to go in and find shelter. All I know is that now it hurts but it won't be forever, even when I hurt it's not all bad or all good, the hurt tells me what I don't like or need to change. The lessons that serve me I want to water, pay attention to, and the ones that don't will be politely discussed but politely discarded. Thanks but no thanks.

[sunsetsover]

Just hopping on the anons last week who said they'd done reading around BPD and Ben etc after reading your posts to say... when Whitney told Ben he makes everything about himself in this week's eps I immediately thought of you! Like lemme explain lmao I remember last year you wrote about how lots of fans said Ben was making everything about him when him and Callum had that argument about the warehouse job in Sept.? And you wrote about how you viewed it and how looking at Ben through a lense of mh goes a different interpretation etc. Idk Whitney saying that just made me recall your thoughts on the fandom saying the same thing lmao.

(although tbh I didn't think Whitney was v fair saying that anyway bc how was he meant to know Callum had witnessed a stabbing etc?? He wasn't making it about himself he was simply worrying about the info he had access to???)

no joke i literally thought the exact same thing after i watched it yesterday. not the post (tho i do remember what you're talking about!) but i was like 'oh ben's behaviour is VERY bpd' like probably the most obvious example we've had since 2019 maybe and then i was like man.... how many people are going to have Bad Takes abt ben's behaviour and how he's 'selfish' and then i was thinking abt what whit said and it reminded me of something i heard once and i've tried to find it but i can't and i'm gutted bc it made so much sense but it was abt how bpd are often viewed as selfish or making everything abt us but we do that bc we literally feel like everything IS because of us/our fault. it's literally a Symptom. like when you're hypersensitive and terrified of everyone abandoning you EVERYTHING feels personal.

like someone's in a bad mood? clearly i have done something to put them in a bad mood. someone doesn't reply? clearly they hate me. you smile at someone in public and they don't smile back? clearly they can sense something is Wrong with me and didn't want to engage. either that or they think i'm hideously ugly. that's the default assumption, that it's somehow something to do with me. not that they're going thru their own shit or that they're busy or tired. and then when we're talking abt someone you're close too, the fear of abandonment comes into play where you either start to push them away bc you're convinced they're gonna leave anyway or frantically do things or change things to help convince them to stay, and both of these can go very extreme. and ofc it's not logical but we can't help it. i'm always saying this to people in my life: i know how i'm feeling/what i'm doing isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but i literally can't help it. it's like the sensible you is locked in the back of your brain forced to witness all of your own bs but they're literally powerless to do anything about it.

which is also why i can understand under the hysteria of your own fear of abandonment and hypersensitivity why ben could convince himself callum was gonna leave him for whitney. like ofc i get why ppl would find that unrealistic and offensive, but i can't NOT see him as bpd, and when you have bpd that fear of abandonment is so so incredibly pervasive that you start thinking things like that and convince yourself that they're real. like you genuinely believe them. and someone of sound mind is like 'that doesn't make any sense, he's gay' but like.... that almost is irrelevant to a certain degree. your own belief that you're so unlovable and that everyone is going to leave you holds SO much weight in your mind, more than even reality itself.

like you could almost compare it to hallucination. reality and logic dictates that it's impossible for there to be a man crawling on the ceiling, but if you can see it and hear it and feel it then ofc you're going to believe it's real. reality and logic become irrelevant bc you KNOW it's there, even though it isn't, u know? it's the same kind of thing: reality says ofc callum isn't gonna propose to whitney when he's married and literally gay, but that all-consuming fear of abandonment is so much louder when it says 'he's lying, he's sneaking around w his ex, he's not talking to you about anything, he's got a ring, ofc he's gonna propose to her, she didn't ask him to quit his job or force him into a position where he had to lie for months, ofc he was gonna leave, he just married you out of pity, this is all your fault, you don't deserve happiness or love bc you're a bad person lmao what did you even expect?' etc u know

if i'm being completely honest if i were in ben's shoes i could EASILY see myself being convinced my gay partner is gonna leave me for their ex of the opposite sex. like worryingly easily. and tbh between that and what was going on with kheerat, i actually think he coped surprisingly well. like i genuinely thought that yesterday that if i was in his situation i probably would have reacted much worse and been in much worse a state than he was. and i'm not just saying that, i think his growth since 2019 is obvious in how tame his reaction to it all was tbh.

i realize probably no one will bother but if anyone really is interested and wants to understand more then u should watch this video. i've timestamped it at the first point bc if nothing else u should listen to that bc it helps explain what i've said in a much better way esp the example abt clearing out the garage but the whole video is really good and i would love for some ppl to watch it. like i know it's half hour and that's a long time and also the interviewer is obnoxious and p insensitive but the doctor herself is really good and explains everything i've been trying to explain in a MUCH better way than i ever could and i think it will really help you understand what it's like to be someone bpd and what it actually means for day to day life

like i realize i've completely gone off on one w this and im sorry but i have opinions and i just want people to understand you know?? not necessarily for ben as a character but for all the ppl out there w bpd bc !!!! no one gives a fuck abt us they just misunderstand us and then do literally nothing to try and understand us when we try to explain ourselves so to have ppl actually engaging in this dialogue w me makes me very excited and i try to explain as much as i can while i have the opportunity u know lmao so i very much appreciate you and getting messages like this thank you 💞💞💞

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!