#what did i even do???
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どうぞ。しかし、知っておいてください、あなたは本当に雌犬です。あなたは私が誰であるかを知っています、愚かなことをしないでください
translation according to google translate: Go ahead. But please know that you are really a b****. You know who I am, don't do anything stupid.
??? what did i even do to you to deserve this? i have no idea who you are so don’t even.
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I'm super sad today because an ikea delivery that I was really looking forward to vanished not once but twice. Who would even steal a little indoor greenhouse? :(((((((
#this is really so bizarre#i had to order twice because the first time someone (definitely not me) refused to accept the delivery so it was returned#so then i ordered again and it was shipped with a different delivery service#all good right?#WRONG#apparently the parcel was successfully delivered but i can't find it anywhere#i was home both times because i work from home#i didn't see anyone#i just want my little greenhouse#pls i have chili plants to overwinter#what did i even do???#do i need to make merit now or
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Youtube... suspended my channel for an hour and a half today
They fixed it themselves but i literally just made character playlists on that channel to draw to tf
#Reggie's Ramblings#WHAT DID I EVEN DO???#ARE CHARACTER PLAYLISTS FORBIDDEN NOW???#the mini heart attack when i woke up from my nap to the first email tho#like fuck dude i'm on youtube a lot you can't be coming at me you guys
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after six hundred strike
*odysseus and poseidon are both still on the rocks in the middle of the sea*
odysseus: ok, let's just agree to both say we're sorry
odysseus: on the count of three
odysseus: one..two..three
poseidon:
odysseus:
odysseus: see, now i'm just disappointed in the both of us
#odysseus: listen man... i just need a way to cross the rest of the water#odysseus: then we never have to interact again#poseidon: *still full of holes and bleeding* do i look like a joke to you?#listen ody's raft was destroyed by poseidon/the storm#the storm may be gone#but he still needs to cross the rest of the waters to ithaca#so what better way than the god of the seas?#even if you did just stab him repeatedly with his own trident#poseidon epic#poseidon#odysseus epic#odysseus#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#epic: the musical#six hundred strike
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I was today years old when I learned that Kalim's headband thingy does not, in fact, tie into a bow
(thank you @fell-fell for informing me)
#my art#twisted wonderland#twst#kalim al asim#kalim al-asim#seriously i did not know this until a friend told me#what else do i not know#everything i know about him is a LIE 💔#i'm not even sure how to tie it the official way#jamil how on earth#please show us#what else am i about to discover just flipping through the magical archives...#fear
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Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
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TW: Wolverine Badonkas
I laughed rewatching because like
#wade you clearly wouldn't turn down fucking him if the offer ever came up#you're just as down horrendous as these tva agents#who btw must enjoy their employment extra much from that point on#nonchalant motherfucker who openly ogled Logan's abs not five minutes ago#wade honey it's ok flirt with that old man#do it for the nation#do it for the audience#gif credits to owner#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#wolverine#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#AND LOGAN DOESN'T EVEN REACT TO THE INSULT#domesticated cat no longer blinks when insulted#did they reach that much of an understanding with each other that logan knows wade doesn't mean it#either that or logan genuinely does not give a fuck what wade thinks of his body#either or lol#“Alright 🙄 put 😠 your 🫵greasy tits🫠 away 🤦you🫵 preening🦚 slut💅”#like he's so SICK of Logan's rizz#in a domesticated intimately gay “goddamnit I KNOW same babygirls but like can we fOCUS”#gif credits to landoslastnerve#landoslastnerve
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LOOOK, LOOK WHAT MY MOTHER MADE FROM CAKE. AAAAAAAAAA-
#welcome home art#wally darling#welcome home wally#adorable#my mom did this for my birthday#What a fantastic surprise#I love her so much#i almost cried fr#Cake Wally fr#She even looked up canon pictures of him to get it right#Guys#i cant breath#i ate his head#And I cried while doing it#Y’all Wally tastes so good
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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my girlfriend
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d wolfwood#i saw a tweet the other day that was like. do u ever like a character SO MUCH that u feel shy/embarrassed even drawing them#AND I WAS LIKE .... YYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#yall dont even kno how hard i cringe at myself whenever i post abt this guy.. but i power thru OTL#these r a few weeks old btw ive been busy so i havent gotten to draw him in like a month and it feels so JHDSGF&UY EIY$NU&RHGFJDG!@JFHBD#save me. save me nicholas d wolfwood#why did i write all of this DO U SEE WHAT I MEANN my head is in my hands rn
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Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:
The confession booth scene.
Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.
Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.
All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)
Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.
Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.
The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.
Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.
Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."
The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.
Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.
The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.
Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.
The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.
Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.
A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.
The set design and script choices that lead to a cross in the background while Dean said "I do." to Cas after he came back to life.
That time when Dean wanted to say something and Cas was like, "It's okay, I heard your prayer." But Dean still looked like he wanted to say something important.
Amara: [about Dean] "I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except, it’s cloaked in shame.”
If you want to have a more expansive list, @destiel-is-real-idgaf added to this one quite nicely.
#i'm not even trying to prove a point#I'm just genuinely confused as to what the heck these scenes were supposed to be if dean is not bi#the fact that dean was the best written bi character who struggles with internalized homophobia I have ever seen and it was an accident#insane#dean and cas had the best relationship development I have ever seen#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#dean is bi#bi dean#bi dean winchester#they did my son so dirty#he grew so much over the seasons#without his dad around to force toxic masculinity#they let him be dorky#goofy#geeky#good at cooking#but didn't let him be bi#i will be adding more to the list#the title is a bit of a hyperbole#some of these do make sense with Dean being straight#but they're honestly pushing it
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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my gf was looking through wesker's wiki page (as you do) and sent me this
and i lost my shit bc it just seems like they're looking at him like girls look at a weird bug
#this just in#im not putting this on the art blog it's not worth it lmao#but oh my god . imagine.#imagine being extrajudicially executed by Evil Johnson & Johnson and this is the last thing you see#two of your shithead genius students standing all fruity over ur dying body#i accidentally twinkified birkin but im not used to working on a rlly small scale like this so forgive me#plus he's in his 20s so i couldnt give him wrankles. im so sorry bill ive made you a twink#also wesker what's with the fit#do not need to dress up for a murder#BTW IMPORTANT IS THE PHRASING OF “PARTICIPATING IN THE ASSASSINATION”#they literally did NOTHING to help im not even sure why they were there#they sure as hell didn't kill the dude#resident evil#william birkin#albert wesker#james marcus
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alongside someone like you
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED#collapses dead#cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning#2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed#rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing#n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it#clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings#1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what#but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal#third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog#oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute#also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless#cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u#ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
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