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GATEway FATE
If anyone's been looking for a Final Fantasy themed event (with a focus on XIV) in the Midwest that's well-run from both a vendor and an attendee's perspective, I'll happily recommend GATEway FATE in St. Louis.
It's run by the same folks behind Anime St. Louis, meaning they've established their credentials and capability of running a convention.
Here's a write-up I did of it for cosplay friends:
Hotel:
double queen rooms sleep 6 comfortably; the couch pullout bed is in the entry room that opens onto the central courtyard, and then there's a door between that and the double queen room. We had 5 cosplayers with multiple cosplays, some armour, and we all managed to get ready easily.
Lots of tables and mirrors to repair/tweak things as needed.
Even though the bathroom is small, there are multiple other seated mirrors for makeup and preparation, and the bar sink makes it easy to get water even when someone's in the bathroom. We somehow all were very cheerful about the shower rotation.
Each room has a minibar with a bar-sized fridge with small freezer compartment, a coffee maker, additional sink, and microwave, so it's very easy to bring food in.
Breakfast is included, and features a custom omelette bar and buffet style stuff, plus fountain drinks, coffee, and tea. Omelettes are great, buffet is solid, and it runs from 6:30am-10am, so plenty of time to grab food. Made it very easy to eat properly in the morning.
There are fountains inside the hotel that make great backdrops, though the lighting isn't the best. There is also a fountain outside the hotel that is gorgeous, and some nice areas that make good sets for photoshoots. Lots of local folks who can also point you towards local photoshoot locations, and it's in St. Charles, which has a historic district that would make for GREAT photos, especially since it does get dressed up for Halloween. Or the St. Louis Botanical Gardens are a great place for photos.
Cons:
The air circulation in the hotel rooms should be improved as according to my aranet, the CO2 tended to be about 2k whenever people were inside.
The front room can get a bit noisy as it does open onto the courtyard, and soundproofing only does so much when there's a door.(edited)
Convention centre:
Connected to the hotel, so no need to go outside to get to it.
Lots of light/windows and climate control can be quite good/easily adjusted
Lots of rooms and side-rooms for panels, and easily accessible.
Food on-site, both by convention staff and by local vendors, incl. a vegan Japanese place, coffee/cafe stuff, and more. It seems to be configurable depending on what the conrunner wants (more on that later).
10-15min walk to an Aldi and small strip-mall; Cracker Barrel across the little road from the con centre if you want Americana.
Convention itself: No surprise, as this is run by the same person who does the larger Anime St. Louis in the same place, but it was well-run. Things of note:
In rooms where there was going to be a lot of activity and/or cosplayers, such as the Worst Cosplay Contest panel, the AC was usually cranked pretty low to prevent people overheating (though they did forget in the green room of the actual contest, but that was remedied pretty quickly?)
Themed food on-site for reasonable prices and generous portions; I had the Starboard/Larboard chicken tenders and couldn't finish it despite it being good. The boxes were so cute. Verie had the Last Stand burger and said it was decent, and a lot of food. They had vegan/gluten free options as well.
Panels were a lot of fun and varied; I actually felt bad to miss some but was running around with friends a lot.
Lots of places and times to hang out with friends and chat; there were tables and chairs everywhere and that ensured that nobody was standing for too long in uncomfy shoes, etc.
Concerts were great, as was the drag show. There was a Q&A with the queens in the hotel lobby afterwards and the main question from all the cosplayers was, "HOW DO YOU GET YOUR WIG TO STAY ON THROUGH CARTWHEELS?!?!" Highly, highly recommend the drag show, it was SO much fun and hilarious to see the drag show newbies, incl. Bakool Ja Ja's VA's PARENTS, gleefully waving tips and interacting with the performers.
VA guests were quite accessible and happy to chat. I didn't have things for them to sign (their specific merch sold out fast), but there weren't many lineups.
Hotel being attached meant that it was easy to take over a table and hang out with friends in the indoor courtyard. There's a pool and hot tub as well, apparently.
They're prepping year 2.0, and are going to take into account feedback from 1.0.
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Times Timothée was Supposed to Propose... and the One Time he Did
Warnings- cursing, suggestive moments but nothing explicit, stuff is implied though.
a/n- thought that scene from the office was cute and j miss writing (send recs pls) so here we go!
~
“You should move in with me.” He said softly as he slowly traced along her arm. She chuckled and looked up at him.
They’re in her apartment, watching a movie after a pretty intense lovemaking session. They were both still pretty sweaty, Timothées hair was matted and kind of stuck to his forehead, and hers was stuck to her bare back.
“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes, smirking up at him.
“I'm serious! Move in with me, why not?” He said, more determined this time, moving his face into her hair, kissing her head lightly.
She giggled and sat up, maneuvering out of his arms, “I- Well, I always said I wouldn’t move in with anyone unless we were engaged…” She said awkwardly, finally meeting his eyes.
He took her words in for a moment and raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t I propose already?”
She jokingly stops to think for a moment, “Mmmm don’t think so? Unless,” She looks at her ring finger with no ring on it, “Nope, you didn’t.” She laughs as he wraps his arms around her again.
“Get ready, babe. It’s coming,” he said, making her laugh, but he was completely serious.
The truth was that he already had her ring, he got it right after their one year anniversary and held onto it for another two years because he knew one year was maybe just a little too soon. He carried it pretty much everywhere he went, waiting for the perfect moment.
“Okay, Timmy. Sure.” She teases, but can’t help but think about how great it would be to be engaged to him, to live with him, to marry him, to just share a life with him. She wants it all and she wants it with him whenever he’s ready.
The Afterparty
After that brief conversation in her apartment, she would get butterflies every time they went out on a date or even while they just walked around, thinking this was definitely it, he's gonna propose. But for real, this party would actually be the perfect place to do it.
He had just won another Spirit Award, he was elated and extremely touchy with her. He couldn’t stop kissing her or holding onto her hand wherever they went. When she walked somewhere, he was right beside her.
“I'm so happy, baby.” He smiled as they slowly danced around the floor. Other celebrities surrounded them, most of them drunk and celebrating- or not- their wins.
She grinned and kissed him lightly, “Me too. You deserve it... You deserve everything you can possibly think of.”
He laughs, “I should be saying that to you. Because it's true." He says and kisses her again. "I'm going to love you a long long time, Y/n/n."
She grins and rests her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift plays over the speakers and she feels like she's in a movie, in the scene where the two main characters realize they actually love each other. Except for her, she knows she loves him entirely, and he definitely loves her.
“Hey, remember our first date?” He quietly asks, she looks up at him and nods.
“Of course I do,” She smiles, “Why?”
Timothée shrugs, “I dunno, it just… came into my head right now.” He laughs lightly, “We were so young, had no idea what was in store for us… we stayed by each others side.”
She laughs, “A lot happened in like, four years, huh?”
Timothée looks at her with an intense gaze, his eyes locked on hers. She hadn't seen this look before, nonetheless it gave her butterflies.
“I love you, y/n.”
Oh my god, he's gonna do it.
He removes his hand from hers and she swallows hard, waiting for him to pull out the little velvet- or not. it doesn't have to be velvet, she doesn't care haha- box and…
He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as the last few strings of the song play.
“I love you, too, Timothée.”
He smiles at her when suddenly the mood shifts as a loud, mood killer of a song plays next. The crowd gets loud as they all start cheering.
He separates from her and asks if she wants something to drink, to which she agrees. As he turns around, she frowns and curses the dj.
What the fuck?!
Lazy day
After the party, she was in low spirits for a week or so, she thought about how she could've been engaged already. She could’ve been moving in with Timothée right now.
She was watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’, sadly munching on cookies. Timothée was halfway across the world filming his newest project. They hadn’t seen each other in nearly two months and it was really getting to her. She missed him and the goofy comments he made when they watched movies together, how he would always pull her to lay on him and “sneakily” sneak his hand into whatever snack she was eating.
She also missed being able to just meet up with him at their favorite cafe or go on late night walks where they had conversations about nothing and everything at the same time.
Right towards the end of the movie, when Harry realizes he loves Sally and is running across New York City to confess his love for her, her phone rings.
She groans and looks at the screen, immediately smiling as she sees that it’s Timothée calling. She picks it up, “Hi baby! Isn’t it hella early over there?”
“Yeah, I have an early morning so I figured I’d call my favorite person ever.”
“Aw, did Kudi not answer?” She joked, playing with the strings on her joggers.
He laughed, which still made her heart skip a beat, “Exactly, so I called you instead.”
“You’re hilarious" she giggles, and after a few moments of silence she says, "I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. More than anything.”
“Yeah? How much do you miss me?” She suggestively asks, slowly moving down to lay on the couch.
It’s been a while.
Timothée is quiet for several seconds before he speaks, “So much, baby.” He says lowly and she hears some shuffling on his end, “What are you doing?”
She blushes, quickly pausing the movie before putting her free hand down her pants, “Hmmm, what do you think I’m doing, Timmy?” She smirks, knowing what the nickname does to him.
“Fuckkkk, you’re naughty.” He groans.
“I’m not,” she mumbles, “I just miss my boyfriend is all.”
“Mhm.”
They’re suddenly rudely interrupted by a knock at her door, “Ugh, god damn it. Someone’s knocking.” She quietly says, hoping whoever it is will just leave.
“It's okay my lovely, I can wait. Go check who it is.”
“You can wait, but I don't think I can wait. I'm literally fucking soaked.” She groaned.
“Mmm, patience is a virtue, my love.”
“Fuck you and your virtues.” She mumbles as she gets up, hearing him chuckle on the other end, looking through the peephole. She sees her boyfriends huge grin and his slightly oversized hoodie, and the door is open before she even takes her next breath.
“No fucking way!” She squeals as she tackles him to the other side of the hallway with kisses.
“Hi mon chéri, I missed you so much.” He grins, kissing her again. He wraps his arms around her entirely, like he's trying to mold their bodies into one.
He guides her back into her apartment backwards, shutting the door behind them, “Now where were we, huh?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively as she giggles.
“Hmmm I don't remember, you might have to remind me.” She smirks, her hands tracing along his torso.
“I think I can do that.” He says as he wraps a finger around the waistband of her joggers, slowly pulling them down. “Are you really as soaked as you said you were?” He whispers in her ear, goosebumps instantly rising on her skin at his words.
She gasps as his index finger traces along her folds, teasing her entrance, “Fuck yes.” and she kisses him with fervor, her hands tangling in his hair as she tries to get him to the bedroom.
“Mmm fuck, baby. I missed you.” He mumbles against her lips, his tongue slipping in her mouth as he lays her down on the bed. He slips his hoodie off, her hands instantly on his chest.
“Show me how much you missed me.” She gasps, pulling off her shirt.
>>>
Timothée sighed as he laid down next to her, sweat glistening on their skin.
“Fuck, y/n/n. How did I last two months without this?” He wondered, making her smile.
“No clue, I was getting antsy, babe.” She replied, leaning over to kiss his neck.
“I really did miss you a lot,” He said, tracing his fingers along her arm, “I did a lot of thinking.”
“Yeah? About what?” She questioned, closing her eyes as he spoke.
“Our future.” He said, she smiled at that. Her heart started racing at what he was going to say next. “I was thinking about what our house would look like, what our morning routines would look like, if we'd have a pet… and maybe even kids. Things like that.”
She blushed at the thought, “I know that I want a fish.” She said, only half joking.
He laughed and nodded, “I could fuck with a fish.” She giggled and shook her head at his goofiness. “But seriously,” He started, “Wh- what do you think?”
Is it gonna happen now?
While they're totally naked and still sweaty from their session? God, how will they tell this story to their parents?
She looks up at him, her heart racing, she locked her eyes with his, “I can't wait. I think about that all the time, Timothée.” She replies, making him sigh in relief and then grin.
He engulfs her in his arms and kisses her with a fire that she'd never felt from him before. He moans into it and lays her back down, slowly moving down to kiss her neck several times before speaking, “Fuck, I love you so much Y/n. I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.” Butterflies erupt in her tummy at his words, “I'm gonna make you my wife and I'll be your husband and we'll live happily ever after.” He says in between kisses, making her blissfully sigh and shut her eyes.
Once again, they were interrupted by Timothées phone ringing, it was his moms ringtone, Timothée groaned and went to ignore it, but she spoke up, “It’s your mom, baby. Answer it, it’s alright.”
He frowned but kissed her before he leaned over to pick up his phone.
She sighed and stared at the ceiling as he spoke to his mom, she looked around the room before she got up to get dressed and order some dinner. He frowned at her movements but went back to listening to his mom.
The rest of their lives
“Come on a walk with me, baby. It’s pretty outside.” Timothée said as he slipped on a hoodie, “We’ve been inside all day, we need some fresh air.” He said, coming up behind her on the couch and squeezing her shoulders.
It's true. They've just been lounging around his apartment all day, cuddling and watching comedies mostly.
She leans her head back and groans, “I’m so lazy right now, babe.” She whines, making him chuckle.
“I'll get you a sweet treat.” He said, quirking an eyebrow, she looked up at him and smiled.
“You sure know the way to a girl's heart.” She giggled, getting up and putting on her shoes, also sliding on a hoodie- his hoodie..
“I know the way to my girls heart.” He replied, intertwining their fingers as he opened the door, letting her out first.
“Did you have anywhere in mind?” She asked as they stepped outside, the cool autumn air nicely hitting her face.
“No, just a nice little walk.” He shrugged, smiling down at the ground.
“Let's turn here.” He said simply while she was talking about a tiktok she saw about her hometowns nfl team.
He listened intently as she continued on, saying how she had to call her dad for clarification on their most recent game.
“Ohhh is that why you were on the phone with him when I got home earlier?” He questioned, lightly pulling her closer to his side and wrapping an arm over her shoulders, still not letting go of her hand.
She nodded, “Yeah, you know I love bothering the guy.” She laughs, making him chuckle.
“Remember the first time I met your parents?” He suddenly asks, she looks up at him, admiring his side profile as he walks.
She giggles at the memory, “Oh my god! You were so cute and nervous. It was hilarious.”
“I was convinced your dad hated me.” He laughs, “And your mom was like, the nicest human ever. It was weird!”
“That's probably why they divorced.” She jokes, resulting in a snort escaping from her. Timothée laughs and squeezes her hand.
“You're adorable.” He says as he looks over at her, admiring the smile on her face as they continue walking.
He takes a turn, gently pulling her along as she quirks an eyebrow at him.
The sun was almost completely down already, a warm glow covering the partly empty sidewalks. This was her favorite time of the day, the world always looks so peaceful and beautiful.
“Where are you taking me, Chalamet?” She questions, watching as he guides her over to the local park, the same one that they've had countless picnics at, where they would read their wildly different books next to each other for hours in silence, occasionally updating one another on their book... and then maybe they'd make out for a bit, depending how crowded it was.
She remembers appreciating how, early on in their relationship, Timothée would never make fun of her book choices, as she leans more toward romcoms and books with cute endings. She had felt like less of an intellectual when she compared her books with his, but he never said anything.
Even now, he never teases her about it. Sometimes when he comes back from another city or country for work, he'll hand her a bag of books that he thinks she “might like” and it was always cute little romances or coming of age stories. She would smile and pull him down to her and kiss him thankfully.
Anyway, that whole tangent was because of the park, they hadn't been in so long due to their increasingly busy schedules. Even though they couldn’t have their cute little dates as much anymore, they still always made time for each other in other ways.
One night, he came over after a late shoot just to spend time with her, she was already falling asleep, but Timmy just climbed into her bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as possible.
“We haven't been here in so long, huh?” He said, basically reading her mind.
“Yeah,” She smiles, “We should go to the-”
“The café?” He quirks an eyebrow at her as she nods, “I was thinking the same thing.”
“I wonder if our favorite barista is still there.”
“Wow, we were going there so much that we really have a favorite barista.” He laughs, she giggles and subconsciously runs her thumb along his knuckles.
“Remember that one night we were there for like… four hours-” She cut herself off as she felt Timothée stop walking and his hand leave hers. “Wh-”
Her breath catches in her throat as she turns around and sees him down on one knee.
Here we go.
“Hey, Y/n?” He says softly, reaching into his pocket.
“Yeah?” She replies, so quietly that shes not even sure if he heard it.
He nervously smiles as he pulls out a velvet box, she gasps and covers her mouth as he opens it, revealing a beautiful ring. A perfect ring. One that she's literally saved in her private pinterest boards.
“Shut up.” She grins, locking eyes with him as he laughs at her reaction.
“I've been waiting for the perfect moment, but I realized that there is no perfect moment, Y/n. You make it perfect. We make it perfect. I want the rest of our lives to start as soon as possible. So, y/n, will you-”
“Yes! Yes of course, Timmy!” She excitedly says, reaching down to pull him up before kissing him deeply. “God, I was wondering when you'd finally ask me.” She laughs against his lips, running her fingers through his hair
“Well, I was interrupted a couple times, but I think it was worth it.” He smiles, taking the ring out of the box and sliding it on her finger. “It’s a perfect fit.” He sighs in relief.
“It’s perfect.” She says, her eyes watering, “You're perfect. I love you.” She lets a few tears fall, Timothée wipes at them, eyes getting teary as well.
"I love you more." He pulls her in for a hug, his hands on her waist, “I'm going to love you a long long time, Y/n/n.” He says before kissing her again and pulling away, “Come on, let's go see our favorite barista.” He laughs, intertwining their fingers.
She can’t stop smiling, she can’t stop looking at the ring, and she can’t stop thinking about what their future will be like which makes butterflies erupt in her tummy.
"So, will you finally move in with me, baby?" He asks, nudging her cheek with his nose.
She giggles and feels her cheeks heat up, "I'll start packing tomorrow."
*
#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet fanfiction#timothee chalamet imagine#timothee chalamet x reader#timothee imagine#timothee x reader#timothée chalamet#timothee chalamet au#timothee chalamet x you#timothee fanfic#timothée chalamet imagine#timothee chalamet fluff#timothée chalamet x reader#timothée imagine#timothée x reader
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Hello, yes, it’s Halloween Week and I’d like to say one more time, here, because nobody wants to hear it elsewhere:
The death and darkness is part of the Story the Year Tells, and ignoring it is bad, but so is treating it like a good thing.
The only thing good about monsters, evil, death, and darkness, is that it all ends. But if we skip to “it’s gone,” then we miss the use we have in remembering it.
If you take the shark out of Jaws there’s no emotional climax when the main character says “I used to be afraid of the water.” If Scar doesn’t rule the Pridelands for a while, nobody cares that Simba’s coming back. If Sauron’s blanket of darkness hadn’t spread so far over Middle-Earth— if Gollum as a nasty grotesque character hadn’t existed because he’s “too scary” and “too dark”—or even if we’d seen less of him—then it wouldn’t mean as much when the good guys win. You wouldn’t care as much when Frodo is tempted by the Ring, because you’ve never seen how bad that can get, because you never got to see and dwell on Gollum, for a minute.
Halloween is the Gollum of The Story the Year Tells.
The spirit of it, the part where we remind ourselves darkness and monsters exist, but we don’t live in an UNHEALTHY obsession with them, has always been that.
The World goes “let’s make evil and monsters celebratory and awesome.” If the church goes “no we shouldn’t celebrate evil and monsters, we should totally ignore them instead!” then who is putting monsters and evil in their proper place?
Who is saying, “evil exists, monsters are real, we were once dead, we were once walking in darkness, we were once monsters, that’s why it’s SO AWESOME that we’re a new creation in Christ?”
Nobody. The world gets to go “there’s no such thing as evil, evil is actually a cooler version of good! Witches are neat, werewolves are awesome, and vampires are sexy!” And Christians get to go, “no there’s no such thing as evil, Christians don’t think about evil, the just think about pumpkins and hay bales.” But actually all you’re united in is ignoring evil.
God uses death as His do-boy. He uses dead imagery to describe parts of the salvation story. He allows decay and rot and skeletons and warping to happen, on some level, because He fixes it. And in the fixing, it shows off His character. If you pretend the darkness isn’t real or isn’t relevant, then the darkness doesn’t go away. It just gets to decide how it’s perceived. If there’s a werewolf in the room with you and you go, “I don’t do werewolves,” and turn your back guess what, it’s just going to eat you from behind.
Do what the ancient people did. Tell stories about the monsters as a cautionary tale, and describe how to get rid of them, because as dangerous as they are, ha ha, they don’t get to win.
We’re supposed to take the way the world has warped good instincts and un-warp them, not pretend they don’t exist.
So what I’m saying is, carve jack-o-lantern faces with your kids and talk about how the light shines through the dead thing. Dress them up as goblins and werewolves and then don’t let them have any candy until after they’ve taken the costumes off, and go, “see, you were once dead in your trespasses and sins, but now, in Christ, you are a new creation!” And then give em the candy. Write stories about monsters that get cured when they don’t deserve it, or monsters that are unstoppable by anything except pure sacrifice.
But don’t write out the monsters, that’s not your job.
Happy Halloween.
#dang it#vent#my favorite holiday#Christmas is the best holiday but Halloween is my favorite holiday#happy Halloween#Christianity#Christian#thoughts#holidays#the story that the year tells
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it girl cozy fall rituals, 🍂*·˚ ༘
i’m in love with every inch of fall this year, and you should be too. this season isn’t just a vibe—it’s a whole lifestyle shift. we’re talking plush, warm, everything that wraps you in a cloud of coziness. let’s get into the rituals that are going to make this fall unforgettable.
` FALL MORNING ROUTINE,
start your day with something that feels indulgent and grounding. morning is the perfect time to set the tone for your day with a few cozy, self-loving rituals that make you feel like that girl.
♡ hot drinks wrapped in luxury we don’t do basic coffee—make it a honey latte, a pumpkin chai, or some warm milk with a hint of cinnamon. it’s all about taking that first sip and feeling like you’re the main character wrapped in your plushiest blanket.
♡ skin hydration on 100 with the weather getting colder, don’t you dare let your skin go dry. we’re talking hand creams, body butters, and a moisturizing face routine that keeps you glowing. get a hand cream that smells like vanilla or marshmallow for that sweet touch.
♡ set intentions & journal take a moment to vibe with yourself. jot down what’s on your mind, set a small intention, or just let it flow. mornings are all about tapping into that inner power before the day starts, so set the tone like the baddie you are.
` FALL EVENINGS ARE FOR,
as the sun goes down, it’s time to embrace those cozy fall evenings. these little routines are designed to bring you back to yourself, unwind, and savor the simple pleasures.
♡ nature walks, but make it luxe take a walk in the evening air, wrapped up in your cutest scarf and a cozy jacket. listen to your hottie fall playlist and breathe in that crisp air. it’s the perfect way to stay grounded while looking fly.
♡ candles & moody lighting we’re bringing ambiance to another level. grab candles that smell like warm cinnamon cupcakes or a caramel latte, and fill the room with that golden glow. set the vibe because your space deserves to feel as rich and layered as you.
♡ baking, because you’re THAT girl it’s not just baking—it’s a whole experience. whip up some brownies or an apple crumble. the smell alone is worth it, but also…there’s something about baking from scratch that just makes you feel so put together.
` FALL ROOM SETUP THAT SLAYS,
your room should be your sanctuary, especially during fall. here’s how to make it a dreamy escape where you can fully enjoy all those cozy vibes.
♡ soft lighting & fairy lights for days no harsh lights allowed. stick with fairy lights or a soft bedside lamp for that warm, glowy aesthetic. make it feel like your own little sanctuary because you deserve that kind of energy.
♡ fuzzy blankets & extra pillows your bed should look like a scene from a cozy movie. layer those blankets in different textures and colors, add extra pillows, and make sure everything is extra soft—like, could-sleep-in-it-all-day soft.
♡ fall decor, but make it chic add some cute pumpkins, dried flowers, or vintage trinkets. keep it subtle but classy—think soft pinks, muted browns, and hints of gold for that boujee fall vibe.
` COZY FALL ACTIVITIES,
every fall day is a chance to do something that makes you feel like the main character. these activities will keep you grounded, cozy, and feeling absolutely fab.
♡ sip & read like a mysterious icon pair your fave fall drink with a good book. go for mystery, romance, or a historical drama that pulls you in. nothing says fall like being wrapped up in a story while the world goes on outside.
♡ evening skincare & unwinding rituals end your day with a luxe skincare routine. make sure everything smells heavenly, like honey or cocoa butter, and give yourself a mini massage. it’s a whole self-love moment you deserve.
♡ intentional reflection & relaxation take a few minutes to journal, meditate, or just lie back and let your mind wander. fall is all about introspection, so give yourself that space to feel grounded and badass.
#validfemale🎀#it girl#becoming that girl#that girl#it girl energy#autumn#seasons#fall vibes#beauty#girly#girlblog#hyperfemininity#divine feminine#self love#self improvement#doll#dream girl#it girl aesthetic#hyper feminine
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Here is something small I’ve been thinking about the last couple of days and since tomorrow is Halloween I thought I’d write and post it. Hope everyone likes it and Happy Halloween!
*******************************************************
Yoongi x Female Reader
Warnings: Lots of angst, cemeteries, death, hints of smut if you really really look
Word Count: 2,014
Normally if someone was knocking on your door at 12:30 in the morning you would be a little scared if not absolutely furious. But today was different. Today was October 31st, it was Halloween, and that meant you knew exactly who was on the other side of your front door. You rushed to answer it.
Yoongi, your former fiancé and still best friend, greeted you after you swung open the door. “Hi Yoongles!”, you excitedly exclaimed before jumping into his arms. He grunted at the impact but still tightly wrapped his arms around you, “Hey Y/N. I missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. I’ve got so much planned for today. First I thought we could bake some pumpkin muffins. Then we can watch a movie, maybe Nightmare on Elm Street or Paranormal Activity, it doesn’t matter. I just want to be scared. Then we can go to that pumpkin patch over on Main St. I heard they have great apple cider. We could grab lunch at that restaurant you love. I also picked out some costumes for us. I thought maybe we could get dressed up and then hand out candy. And then we could…”
“Y/N, Y/N…breathe.”, Yoongi chuckled, “We have all day and we’re going try to get as much done as we can. I promise. But how about we just go lay down for a few hours. I think some cuddling in bed sounds great right now.”
You shyly nodded, “Sorry I just love Halloween. Cuddling sounds nice too. Let’s go.”
It was true. Halloween was your favorite holiday for many reasons and you waited for it all year long. There was so much you wanted to get done and you already felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day but you were content taking Yoongi’s hand and leading him to your bedroom where you snuggled up to each other underneath the covers. The familiar sensation of his bare skin on yours after so long sending goosebumps trickling through your body.
A few hours later you woke up to the smell of bacon filling your apartment. Freshly showered after the night with Yoongi you found him in the kitchen whistling along to a song on the radio as he scrambled some eggs.
“Morning Y/N!”, he smiled when he noticed you. He handed you a cup of coffee but you set it down on the counter choosing to wrap your arms around him instead. You stood there and held onto him until he was done cooking the food and you two moved to the table.
“So what’s first on your list today?”, he asked.
“Well I think we should bake some muffins or even cookies if you would prefer and then watch a movie. We can decided what to do after that.” He nodded in agreement before shoveling a spoonful of eggs into your mouth so that you would actually eat something.
So that is what you did. You had a fresh batch of pumpkin muffins on the coffee table in front of you while a horror movie played on the tv screen. You were cuddled into Yoongi’s side with a blanket draped over your laps.
After the movie you both decided to check out a local fall festival. You split a caramel apple and drank a bunch of cider. It was nice walking around hand in hand with each other as you watched the kids run around in their costumes. The sky was bright blue without a cloud in sight and the air was a little cooler making it the perfect weather.
You and Yoongi decided to stop at a cafe for lunch. “How have you been Y/N?”, he asked as you both waited for your food.
“Good, I got that promotion at work I was telling you about last time.”
He smiled, “Awesome! I knew you would.”
“Oh hi Y/N!,” someone said from behind you. When you turned around you saw your coworker Namjoon. You smiled and waved. He was very sweet and nice and you loved spending time with him. He had asked you to hang out today but you had to turn him down because of your plans with Yoongi. It hurt you how it wasn’t an easy decision like you thought it should be.
“Hi Namjoon!”, you replied feeling a little guilty for how excited you got because you saw him. You didn’t want Yoongi to know. Namjoon knew about your relationship with Yoongi and he was very understanding and accepting which made you like him even more.
You introduced the two of them and shared some more pleasantries before he began to excuse himself. “Hey my invitation to Jimins party is still there if you change your mind. You’re both welcome but if not I understand.”, he smiled before giving a wave and walking out of the cafe.
“You should go to the party.”, Yoongi said before taking a bite of his sandwich. You shook your head feeling tears begin to form. You wanted to go with Namjoon. It sounded fun but you didn’t get to see Yoongi that often and you didn’t want to miss this chance.
“Y/N, you can’t stay hung up on me forever. You need to meet someone new. He seemed nice and I think he likes you.”
You shook your head again, “What should we do next? Go home and try on the costumes?”, you said trying to change the subject. You knew he was right. You shouldn’t spend your life trying to get back with Yoongi when you knew that wouldn’t happen. You just weren’t ready to move on just yet.
“I am not wearing this.”, Yoongi grumbled walking into the living room. You couldn’t contain your laughter at the sight of him in the too big for his feet shoes with his tail dragging behind him and comically large mouse ears sliding off his head. “Oh come on…we’re Mickey and Minnie Mouse. We look so cute!”, you threw in an extra deep pout which you always knew would get him. Of course it did and he even agreed to let you draw on some whiskers after that too. You guys handed out candy to all the kids that came to your door until there was nothing left.
After you both changed back into your comfy clothes and cleaned up you ordered food and put on a movie. This time you searched for something a little more light and funny. You ate and talked and just enjoyed being in each others presence.
Your phone went off a few times with some texts from Namjoon. You smiled at the photo of him dressed up at a big koala bear. You sent off a quick text so he would know you weren’t ignoring him before you turned off your phone and hid it away not noticing the look of sadness on Yoongi’s face as he watched you.
When the movie was over you just sat there in silence clinging onto him not wanting the day to end. He rubbed soothing circles on your back as he studied your face wanting to remember each and every detail down to the last freckle, almost like he knew it would be the last time he ever saw it.
“Hey uh I’ve got to get going.”, he said after a while tapping your shoulder. You checked the time and sighed because you knew he was right.
“I’ll walk you.”, you said. He tried to protest but you were already putting on your shoes and jacket so he knew it was useless.
The temperature had dropped significantly which made you try to burrow into his side even closer as you walked down the street. “I had a really nice time today. I can’t wait until we can do it again.”, you smiled.
“Yeah it was nice. Those muffins were amazing. I think I ate like seven of them.”, he chuckled.
As you got to your destination you could definitely feel the tension in the air. Yoongi stopped walking in front of the entrance and so did you. You leaned in resting your forehead on his chest.
“I don’t want you to go. I’m gonna miss you too much.”, you whispered trying your best not to cry.
“I’ll miss you too.”, he said running his fingers through your hair.
“I’ll try to come visit as much as I can and I’m already coming up with ideas for us to do next year.”, you chuckled but Yoongi didn’t seem as optimistic.
“Y/N…maybe…maybe we should take a break. You could hang out with Namjoon next Hallloween. Maybe I’ll hang out with someone else or something. Maybe meet new people.”, he said trying to avoid looking at you knowing he’d cry if he saw you cry.
“What? Why?”, you gasped, “Did I do something?”
He shook his head frantically, “No no no. I just think that maybe we should do other things. You can’t keep letting me hold you back Y/N. You and I are never going to be a thing and Namjoon seems like a really good guy so you should give him a chance. I just…I don’t want to be the reason that you’re stuck here and why you won’t move on. I want you to find new love, get married, have a family if you want, go on vacations and travel the world, and grow to be a little old lady with the love of her life. I can’t give you all that Y/N, I was going to but not any more.”
You knew time was running out which only made you feel more anxious and desperate, “But I don’t want anyone else. I want you Yoongi. I love you.”, you said the best you could through sobs.
“I know. I love you to Y/N but we can’t keep this going.”, he whispered afraid his voice would crack. He pulled you into a tight hug squeezing you like he was afraid to let go, “I have to go now. I love you Y/N. I always have and I always will and I’ll always be there watching over you. Even if you can’t see me or feel me or hear me…I’m there. Just know that. Please take care of yourself and stop worrying about me. As long as you’re okay then I’m okay.”
You nodded because you knew time was up and there was no point in arguing anyways. Yoongi leaned in and gave you a kiss.
You did everything you possibly could to memorize how he felt, how he smelled, how he tasted. You weren’t sure when or if you would ever get another chance.
Yoongi released his hold on you after giving your hands another squeeze. You couldn’t bare to watch him walk away again so you stood there with your eyes squeezed shut until you could no longer hear the crunch of the leaves beneath his shoes.
That’s when you finally opened your eyes secretly hoping to still see him but he was gone and you were met with nothing but darkness.
You let out a long sigh as you turned and walked through the gate letting it slam behind you. You softly smiled at a few other people that seemed to be having just as hard of a time as you were. You were happy to not be alone though.
The cemetery was always crowded at this time on Halloween, the only day of the year the dead could freely walk amongst the living. People were saying goodbye to their loved ones after having spent the last twenty-four hours together just like you and Yoongi had done.
You began the lonely walk back to your apartment unsure of what the next year would hold but you believed Yoongi’s words and you knew that he would always be watching over you no matter what.
#bts#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi#bts fanfic#bts x reader#yoongi x y/n#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#bts fluff#bts yoongi
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Marjorie's Costume
In honor of Halloween, here's an older story of mine that never made it on to Tumblr. ------------------------------------------ Marjorie screamed her car to a halt as she pulled into the parking space. She quickly grabbed her purse and keys and exited the vehicle.
Please be open. Please, please. She ran up to the store window, her low heels clacking against the sidewalk pavement. The inside lights of the store were dim.
Crap, crap. This can’t be happening.
She cupped her hands against her face and pressed her face against the glass door and glanced into the darkened shop. The inside of the shop was still.Marjorie glanced down at her watch.
It’s only five past the hour. The store just closed. Someone has to still be inside.
She rapped her knuckles against the glass door. “Hello?”, she called out. “Is anyone in there?”
She once again pressed cupped her hands and peered inside the shop. She leaned into the door, her business suit compressed against the door.
Okay, this is not looking good. Dave’s going to be so upset. I promised him I’d take care of this a week ago. But work has just been so busy I wasn’t able to get here.
She gave the door another desperate knock. From the back of the store a light clicked on. A tall and thin teenage boy walked out and switched on the main store lights.
Oh my god! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
The boy glanced over at the door, his eyes lingering on Marjorie’s body still pressed against the glass. Suddenly self conscious, Marjorie backed away from the door and straightened her skirt and jacket into a more presentable status. The boy walked across the sales floor and up to the door “Umm….can I help you?” he said, sounding a bit stoned.
“Yes, please,” Marjorie replied. “I have a costume on hold. I’m very sorry I’m late, but I was hoping you could get it for me?”
The boy looked confused, or perhaps just high. “Umm…” was all he could get out.
“Please,” Marjorie interjected.
“Umm….it’s Halloween night and we’ve sold out of all of our costumes.” he continued.
“Yes,” Marjorie pressed, “but this was on hold. It’s a disco-girl costume. Can you just look in the back?”
“Umm….all of our holds ended last night Ma’am,” he drolled on. “We sold anything that was on hold during the day today.”
“But,” Marjorie started before becoming resigned. “Of course. I’m sorry to bother you.”
“Umm…no problem Ma’am.” The store clerk turned away from the door and walked back into the back room turning off the lights as he went.
Marjorie stood in a defeated daze.
This is all my fault. I knew I should have come earlier. Dave love’s Halloween. He picked out the costumes and reserved them. He even placed my order at a store closter to my apartment so I didn’t have to drive across town. He knew I was busy and tried to make everything as easy as possible. All I had to do was the bare minimum and instead I prioritized work.
She glanced at her reflection in the darkened store glass. It acted as a surprisingly good mirror. She was in her early thirties and 5’5” tall. She was in good shape as she exercised daily, keeping her body lean and toned, but nature had not gifted her with curves. Her breasts were small and her hips and butt were essentially non-existent.
What does Dave even see in me? Now Dave is going to show up at the party all dressed up and looking for me to have my matching outfit. I’m going to disappoint him. I’ve already disappointed myself.
Her brown eyes in the pseudo-mirror stared teary back at her. The subtle signs of aging were present but not overwhelming. Marjorie knew she was cute. She was never long without a boyfriend, but she loved Dave and didn’t want to ruin the relationship. She allowed herself to wallow in her daze for a few moments longer before steeling her resolve.
Okay, you’ve made a mess of things Marjorie. How do you fix it?
She pulled up her cell phone and did a search for costume shops.
Closed, closed, closed. Everything is already closed. Not surprising I guess. It is 6:15pm on Halloween night. The party isn’t until 9pm. That gives me a few hours to create something out of nothing. I’ll head to the drug store and get some supplies and figure something out with what I have at home.
She walked toward her car. As she looked up she saw a flashing light from across the street. Spell ‘R Us blinked in bright neon. Costumes and other curiosities said a banner in the store window. Open was the final sign that caught her eye.
Marjorie breathed a sigh of relief and quickly crossed the street towards the store.
———————-
A small bell on the store door chimed as Marjorie entered the store.
This store smells odd. Well, maybe not odd, but old.
She looked around. The store was small, almost cramped for space.
Is that a monkey skull?
She wiped a thin layer of dust that sat on top of the skull.
“Can I help you miss?” said an older man from behind the counter.
Marjorie’s attention switched from the shelves to the man behind the counter. He was old, but it was hard to pin down exactly how old. “I sincerely hope so,” Marjorie replied. “I need a costume, please tell me you still have some.”
“Of course, we still have a decent collection,” he replied. “What exactly are you looking for?”
“Well,” Marjorie said, “I was hoping to find a disco costume. My boyfriend reserved one at the store across the street but I didn’t pick it up in time.”
“Oh, I see,” the man stated. “Let me see what we have in the back.”
The old man slowly walked away from the register and towards the back store room.
This place is kind of creepy. It’s also kind of awesome. Perfect decor for Halloween.
A few minutes later the man appeared carrying a few small boxes.
“This is what I have, young lady,” he said.
“Marjorie, my name is Marjorie.”
“Ahh, yes,” he continued. “Well Marjorie, let’s see if either of these will work for you.”
He laid the boxes on the counter top. Marjorie examined the boxes. Party Girl — the box had an image of a woman in a tight and very short vinyl skirt, a vinyl halter top, and very high heels.
60’s Hippie Chick — the box had an image of a woman in blue bell bottom pants, a tie-dye shirt with a matching bandana and sandals.
Marjorie looked up at the old man. “Is this all that you have?”
“I’m sorry young lady,” he replied, “but I’m afraid that’s it.”
“Perhaps I can combine a couple of them into something that will work,” Marjorie said excitedly. “The bell bottoms from that one mixed with the halter top from the other one may just work. I could…”
“I’m sorry Miss,” he interrupted, “but they cannot be combined. It wouldn’t be good.”
“I don’t understand,” she said confused. “Why not?”
“Magic,” he stated matter-of-factly. “. You’ll just need to trust me, I can only sell you one box. The costume doesn’t like being incomplete. It reacts badly.”
This man is crazy, but I’m desperate. I’m pretty sure I have a pair of old bell-bottom jeans from a few years ago. I could wear that Party Girl halter top and I would mostly work. Some makeup and hair magic and I could just pull it off.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll take the Party Girl costume. Do you have it in my size?”
“Very good,” the old man said. “Don’t worry. The costume will fit you and I’m sure you’ll be quite the character at your party tonight.” He packed the box into a bag, rang up her credit card, and handed it over to her.
Marjorie grabbed the box and left the store.
———————-
Marjorie rushed up the stairs to get to her apartment. She was talking to Dave.
“Yeah, I have my costume,” she said somewhat out of breath and intentionally avoiding the fact she had a different costume than Dave reserved. With work being so busy, Dave and Marjorie had not seen each other all week.
“I’m going to grab an Uber and I’ll meet you there at 9. I’m looking forward to having a fun night and spending some quality time with you. I’ve missed you.”
Marjorie reached her floor and fiddled with her keys to open her apartment door.
“Love you,” she said loudly while unlocking the door.
“Wow. That’s flattering,” the voice from behind Marjorie said. “I didn’t know you cared so much.”
Marjorie turned and saw her neighbor, Richard, standing in the hallway with a huge smile on his face. Her eyes lingered for a second on his tight-fitted shirt that showed off his fit body. She stood awkwardly for a moment before pulling her earbuds out and presenting them to him.
Focus Marj. He’s cute, but a total d-bag.
“Um, I was on the phone,” she said slightly annoyed at the interruption.
“Yeah, I figured,” he replied. “But I never miss an opportunity to speak to a beautiful woman. Especially one that publicly announces her love.” He smiled even bigger.
What a jerk. Marjorie fumbled at the doorknob and opened the door.
“I’ve got to go,” she said curtly. “I’m running late for a party.”
“Have fun,” Richard replied as she closed the door.
———————-
Marjorie entered the apartment, it was 7:15pm and she needed to be out the door by 8:30pm to make it to the party on time. She entered her bedroom, tossed the costume box onto the bed, and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.
She came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body and another wrapped around her hair. Marjorie walked into her closet and rummaged through before finding what she was looking for.
“Eureka!” she said out loud holding a pair of bell-bottom blue jeans. “Score a win for never throwing anything away.”
She threw a glance at the clock. 7:45pm.
Okay, just a quick minute to throw on this outfit and I can spend some time on my hair and makeup. I hope the old man was right about it fitting.
She walked over to her bed and emptied the contents of the costume box. Let’s see. One pink vinyl halter top. One barely there skirt. One pair of 4 inch sparkly-pink high heels.
Marjorie dropped the towel and picked up the halter top, holding it against her chest.
Definitely can’t wear a bra with this. But I don’t see how this will fit me. My boobs are way too small to fit. I guess I could always pad it.
She looked at the skirt.
That would probably fit, but I’d never wear it. It would barely cover my ass.
Finally, she inspected the heels.
Okay, these actually look like they’ll work good enough. They’re high, but I can wear them.
She pulled on her jeans, which were more snug than she remembered.
They are from a few years ago. I guess I’ve packed on some extra butt weight since then.
She pulled on the halter top expecting the worst.
Huh. I guess it does fit. It looked bigger on the bed.
She looked over at the heels.
Nope. Not ready to put you guys on yet. The less I wear you, the more my feet will thank me.
Instead she grabbed a pair of black slipper boots to wear while she did her hair and makeup. She walked back into her bathroom and sat down in front of the mirror.
Something isn’t right.
She glanced around the room.
I know!
She stood up and grabbed her phone, searching Spotify for the right playlist. A few moments later she was swishing her hips to the beat of a techno playlist.
So much better.
Marjorie began to apply her makeup, tapping her feet to the rhythm of the music. As the music swelled she stood up from her chair and began dancing. Lost in the music, her body reacted without thought. Beats, turned into moments, which turned into minutes.
The song ended and Marjorie snapped out of the trance-like state she was in.
What the fuck? Why did I do that?
She stood up and gathered herself and looked over at the clock. 8:20pm.
Shit. Where did the time go? Get a grip Marj.
She walked over to the bathroom mirror and quickly got back to getting ready. 20 minutes later she was done. She stood up to admire her work.
Not bad. Not bad at all. It’s not exactly what Dave bought, but at least I’ll compliment him. Plus, I look good. He’ll probably be too busy drooling to care that my costume is not what he picked out.
This is not the complete story. The rest can be found over at my blog with the same title "Marjorie's Costume". It's from 2020 so you may need to scroll a bit. I hope you enjoy it as things really pick up from here. ;)
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#inspired when i saw an ad on youtube for wizard101#where it said “come play for free and explore 16 different worlds!!!” and i was like okay thats a fucking lie#you cant even get all the way through the FIRST world#personally i think its stupid and inconvenient to have to pay to play the MAIN QUESTLINE#for the people who dont have time to grind the set amount of time you pay for membership or those who dont have money#you either pay for a year and are pressured to do as much as you can before time runs out#or you're stuck doing nothing. there's very little you can do without membership#like the main selling point of the game is so you can finish the story. thats what we download the game for in the first place#it gives you the impression that the priority here is your money and not the consumer's enjoyment and comfort#like there are plenty of games who make the entire game free and still are well off#we pay like 40-50 dollars on bundles and even more than that on crowns. that should be more than enough#there are other games where if you dont have membership it barely affects your gameplay experience overall#or games that have no membership function but still can make decent money#imo having to pay to just actually play the game doesnt make it free. like yeah you can do other stuff like fish and duel each other-#and thats it. you walk around the commons and talk ig#thats like the biggest reason i dropped the game its just wayy too expensive and inconvenient to play it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#polls
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i'm really enjoying pathologic 2, actually. i mean, i didn't think i wouldn't enjoy it as much as i was worried it would just, i don't know, muddy the water. and maybe it will, but i'm not really bothered by that anymore. that said, i do think patho 2 took a fairly unsubtle game and increased its unsubtlety by about tenfold.
well. calling og pathologic 'unsubtle' doesn't feel quite right, but i'm not sure what word would feel right. maybe it's 'distinct in its sensibilities'. I think og patho felt more obtuse, whereas patho 2 is like. here. take it. do you get it. here is the information. do you see the themes. i am announcing them to you in such a way that you know that i am saying something thematic. i'm not far enough into the main story of 2 to be able to say that there's less reading between the lines, but it feels very much so far like there's less reading between the lines. whereas the original had a somewhat different... i don't know, affect? it felt like a hostile workplace where everyone recited shakespeare about even the mundane. in patho 2 nothing feels mundane in the first place, everything feels loaded in a way that og patho was but didn't feel, if that makes sense.
but i think that's okay. at the very least, it feels very much like leaning into the 'theater' aspect of it, which is enjoyable. pathologic 2 feels to me more like... bonus content? not to be Stuck Up For Pathologic HD but i enjoyed the feeling of grinding my face against a cinderblock, having to tease out information and conclusions. it felt like a game that you had to figure out, but you actually weren't really doing any ground-level figuring out of much; you're not a doctor, your character is, so the puzzle of Solving the Plague belongs to The Story, whereas the question of What the FUCK is This Town's Deal is your job. it's a very linear game in most respects, but all three playthroughs come through as a thematic package deal.
i so far get the impression that pathologic 2 can be played on its own and be enjoyed in its own right! however it exists to me as like. director's commentary. i'm really liking the playing with different character relationships and alternate things, the expanding of steppe language and the kin, love my worm guys, but i like it because of how it enriches my eternal mind rotation of og pathologic. sorry guys i played the original pathologic and it broke me and remade me in its image. sorry.
#sorry to be the quintessential 'guy who played pathologic and now doesn't stop thinking about pathologic'#i'm having a lot of fun trying all of the different things in marble nest though#i do worry in general that the inclusion of sprinting and fast travel will really fuck up my flow#the walking feels SO much slower now so while i was content to plod along in the original i feel like there's not a middle ground#so it feels a bit contrary to it all that i'm sprinting everywhere and just chugging bottles of water and calling it good#though at the very least it does seem like it will take some of the weight off of the 'route planning' aspect of the original#which was. honestly a load bearing part of... gestures vaguely#and i understand why people don't like it! i think that's a very reasonable thing to not like#having a game on a time limit that requires you to walk slowly across the map multiple times#i don't know what brainworms it activated in me but i quite enjoy it#on paper i should not like this game but here we are#that's not true. i play a lot of Bad To Play games for the story.#but 'guy who has no sense of time' playing 'time limit: the game' is... well i'm not arguing at the results#so that's my main Thing that i 'dislike' but even that word is too strong#i don't dislike it as much as i am keenly aware that i will have to play the game differently and i Don't Like Change lmao#that said these are preliminary impressions as i'm only about 4-5ish hours into the main game#pathologic
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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time
#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying#danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell#varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here#anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp#'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff#amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face#tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet#eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way#to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there#to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell
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literally giggling and kicking my feet rn from researching birds.
#a post i actually wrote myself instead of reblogging? on MY fenblog? its more likely than you think. idk man someday ill post my insane wof#this post is sponsored by the website penguins international because they seem reliable(i hope. please be reliable) and have all the pengui#s! all of them.#did you know there are 18 kinds of penguins. smallest is fairy penguin slash little penguin#biggest is emperor penguin DID NOT REALISE HOW BUG THEY WERE#like you are telling me. this man. is 1.2 metres tall. short for a person but tall for a silly little guy#idk ifa penguin walked up to me id be so nervous. like. intimidated. in a “im a big fan” way but also “wow youre so tall”#we love birds#should i make a tag for original posts? maybe. will i? depends on if i can think of one in the next 10 seconds#sorry in advance if youre reading through all of these tags i got carried away#the way tags work here is simultaneously so good and so bad for me#i can just talk so sos o much and it doesnt distract from the main post unless you want it to and its tucked away in its own little corner#sorry wait what was i talking about#yeah#birds#fenbuhhh how can i combine my name into a word related to talking#google says synonym for talks is chew the fat#fen chews the fat#hm.#what are these synonyms#fenparley#fendialogue#calamitalks#idk in the mood for fen fenby the fen not calamity#do you guys ever get that where sometime you are more in the mood for one name than another#who am i talking to. this is what happens when i never post ig. well tune in next time for uh#im just going to leave actually ALSO EDIT THIS BITCH WEBSTIE DELETED HALF OF M YTAGS
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impetus
summary: dean gets targeted by a witch while working a case, and she curses him to yearn for what he secretly loves the most. it seems to have no effect, until it's pointed out that he can't seem to stay away from you - but what happens when he tries to fight it?
pairing: dean winchester x female reader
word count: 9.4k+
warnings: violence, hunting/working a case, mentions of murders, gore, evil witches, reader and dean get attacked, swearing, alcohol consumption, angst, fluff, yearning, mutual pining, idiots oblivious to their own feelings, magical curses, hallucinations, nightmares, depictions of death, depictions of drowning, fighting/arguments, heart-to-heart, confessions, use of [y/n], nicknames, mature themes
“Right, well, this isn’t creepy at all,” Dean declared, rolling Baby to a stop before switching into park.
You both sat quietly as you surveyed the desolate building, a feeling of unease washing over you.
“Maybe we should wait for Sam,” you suggested half heartedly. He was only down at the Sheriff’s station, and it wouldn’t even take ten minutes for him to meet you here, but you knew Dean wouldn’t wait.
“No,” he said, confirming what you already knew. “Someone else is missing and this is our best lead so far. If you don’t want to go in, that's fine, but I am.”
“I’m not letting you go in there alone,” you snapped, sitting up as tall as you could despite the pit forming in your stomach.
“Awe, you worried about me, sweetheart?” Dean teased, turning to look at you with a grin; one that was effectively wiped from his face when he saw the look in your eyes. “Hey, what is it?”
“I don’t know,” you said honestly, shrugging lightly. “I just have a bad feeling about this.”
“Bad feeling like what?” he questioned, his brows knitting together.
You thought about it, trying to pinpoint what it was you felt, but you couldn’t. “Just…. don’t go wandering off,” you ended up saying- begging, more like.
“Alright,” he agreed easily. “We stick together, and we’ll be in and out before you know it.”
“Right,” you confirmed with a nod. “Let’s gear up.”
You exited the car as quietly as you could, making your way around to the back as Dean unlocked the trunk and propped up the panel to the arsenal.
“You and Sam better be right about this,” he muttered, digging out the box of witch-killing bullets.
Your mind raced through the details of the case: An exsanguinated priest, a dead nun with her tongue ripped out, the president of the high schools abstinence club found without a heart, and various livestock missing various body parts - if this wasn’t a witch, you were a little scared to find out what else it could be.
“We have to be,” you breathed out, loading your ammo.
“Can you do me a favour and sound at least a little confident?” he asked playfully, lightly nudging your arm with his own before tucking his gun into his jeans.
“Sorry,” you said sheepishly, holstering your own gun.
“It’s alright,” he said earnestly, handing you your favourite knife (one that used to be his before you claimed it as your own). “I’m just not used to seeing you so spooked.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle quietly as you took the knife from him. “I’m not used to feeling spooked.”
“We’ll make it through,” he consoled, closing up the trunk. “Just like we always do.”
“Just like we always do,” you echoed with a nod, following him towards the building.
The overgrowth brushed your calves as you made your way up the walk, and after a quick survey of the facade, Dean swung the door open after picking the lock.
“Wait!” you hissed, stopping him before he entered. “Sam does know we’re here, right?”
You watched as his shoulders shrugged before stepping inside. “Probably.”
“That’s… comforting,” you sighed, following him across the threshold.
The two of you did a quick preliminary sweep of the main level before making your way to the top floor, finding nothing of significance in any of the rooms. Making your way back down, you both stopped dead in your tracks as you heard a clatter come from beneath you.
“Of course there’s a basement,” Dean whispered. “Why wouldn’t the creepy ass witch be in the creepy ass basement of this creepy ass house?”
“How do you know she’s a creepy ass witch?” you teased, raising an eyebrow at him. “Maybe she’s hot. Or a guy. Or both.”
He faltered over his response, considering your words for a moment. “I’ll bet whatever tab you drink up at the bar once we end up ganking this bitch. She’s creepy.”
“Deal,” you grinned, wiggling your eyebrows at him.
You both chuckled, before another noise from the basement drew your attention back to the case at hand. Dean awkwardly cleared his throat before leading the way in search of the basement entrance, using the occasional noise as guidance.
“God, I hate witches,” he muttered to himself, slapping away cobwebs as he descended the stairs.
“I don’t think the witch put those webs there,” you said with a snicker.
“No, they’re just the one turning this rotting corpse of a house into a lair of evil and despair,” he hissed.
You rolled your eyes in response, unable to stop the fond smile from creeping onto your face as you made it to the bottom of the stairs.
A muffled cry caught your attention, and Dean spared you a quick look before running in the direction it came from, you hot on his heels. Coming up on a corner, he slowed to a halt and peered around the wall.
“It looks clear,” he decided after a moment. “Just be careful,” he added, continuing on his way.
Upon turning the corner, you were enveloped in the warm glow of candles, which would have been nice, had it not been for the rest of the scene. An altar lay at the far wall, burning candelabras stood in each corner of the room, and the very person you were searching for was bound and gagged in a chair in the middle of the room, surrounded by a circle of candles.
Dean cursed and muttered under his breath, surveying the room. “I’ll get him, you get the altar.“
“Okay,” you agreed, running across the room. Once you reached the altar, you couldn’t help but stare in shock and disgust for a moment as you took in the sight; all the missing body parts seemingly staring back at you from where they lay soaked in blood. It took Dean shouting your name from across the room to bring you back to your senses, and you quickly upturned the altar as Dean instructed the now freed man to get out as fast as possible and wait by the car. As soon as the contents of the altar were scattered, an ear piercing shriek came from behind you.
Quickly whirling on your heels, you were greeted by a cloaked figure, who seemingly came out of nowhere.
“What have you done?” she screamed, dropping her hood as she stared daggers into you.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you feigned innocence. “Did I ruin your big plan?”
“You ruined everything!” she shrieked, slowly approaching you. “You’ll pay for this!”
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Dean called out from behind her.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this?! How many centuries passed by until the circumstances were right? I had it! I had it all! I was one spell away from seeing my love again!” she continued to scream, advancing further towards you as she ignored Dean.
“Back off, Grunhilda!” Dean roared from behind her, drawing his gun.
“No!” she shrieked, barely lifting her hand in order to easily swing his gun away - and stop you from drawing your own. “You stupid little gnat. You think you can just come in here and mess with things you don’t understand? You think you can take this from me?!”
Her shouting was drowned out by the sound of your own heart pounding in your ears, your entire body feeling like it was on fire as your throat constricted, the air leaving your lungs and not returning. You felt your bones cracking beneath your skin as your feet left the floor, and you shared a look of terror with Dean before black began to cloud the edges of your vision.
Without an effective weapon handy, Dean rushed the witch and tackled her to the floor, sending you crashing down. You met the concrete with a thud, and it knocked the rest of your senses out of you. You laid there for who knows how long, fighting off the waves of pain and nausea, willing yourself to move as you listened to the struggle happening a few feet away from you.
By the time you managed to prop yourself up, Dean was pinned down as she advanced on him, and you desperately looked around for either of your guns.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like?” you heard her ask, menace laced deep in her words. “To want something so desperately, to feel that desire within your very soul?!”
Dean struggled against her hold as you struggled to pick yourself up, to at least crawl to a weapon if you had to.
“Well you will,” she sneered, cackling to herself. “You’ll know how it feels. To have what you want the very most to be so close to you, to have it at the edge of your fingertips, only to never be able to grasp it! For it to be the only thing you can think about!”
“Shut the hell up,” Dean seethed through clenched teeth, glaring at her.
She only stepped closer towards him, cackling to herself. “Your strongest yearning, hidden deep in your heart, will nevermore be yours to part. Be it with sun or with rain, that which brings joy won’t be without pain.”
“You finished yet?” Dean interrupted, before he had the wind knocked out of him, rendering him silent.
Moving as quickly as you could without being noticed, you closed in on Dean’s pistol while the witch carried on.
“Whatever you crave you cannot say, yet you’ll seek it out be it night or day,” she continued, hovering over him. “Consider yourself lucky, you useless toad. I’ve had countless lifetimes yearning to see my love again, and I’ll spend lifetimes more. At least you only have this one measly little life to yearn for what you want.”
Grasping the gun in your hands, you carefully rose to your feet and steadied yourself to take aim. “Man, you really do talk too much,” you huffed out.
The shot rang out just as she turned towards you, though it was silenced by a roaring wind that accompanied a bright blue light. Within seconds, everything was calm and quiet again.
Fighting every urge you had to collapse back onto the floor, you trudged your way over to Dean in an attempt to help him up.
“God, I told you she’d be creepy,” he gasped out, groaning as he stood.
“You want a prize?” you asked incredulously, staring up at him.
“I wanna get the hell out of here,” he said, ushering you to take leave. “Then I want those drinks you owe me.”
After what felt like another entire day, you and Dean had dropped the victim off at the hospital, patched each other up, cleaned out the basement, showered, and filled Sam in on everything that went down.
“So… she cursed you?” Sam asked curiously, trying to understand.
“I dunno. She tried to, I guess,” Dean replied nonchalantly. “But [Y/N/N] put a bullet in her. No witch, no curse, right?”
Sam shared a brief look with you, before turning back to Dean. “Yeah, but… there was no body.”
“What?” Dean asked gruffly.
“The witch,” you said. “I shot, but she vanished. What if she isn’t dead?”
“Well, I feel normal, so I’m gonna say she’s dead,” Dean declared with a shrug. “Now, can we head to the bar? I’m in desperate need of a drink… or twelve.”
Without waiting for an answer, he quickly stood and donned his jacket before looking back at you and Sam. “You guys coming or what?”
“Oh, do I have a choice to not go?” you asked playfully.
“You can stay if you want, but your wallet comes with me,” he replied, smiling innocently.
“Alright, let’s go,” you said with a dramatic sigh, grabbing your own jacket.
Not long after, the three of you were sliding into a booth in the nearest dive, enjoying the lack of people; you guys seriously needed to decompress.
“Alright, I’ll be back,” you declared, hopping out of the booth to get the first round of drinks.
“Make sure you get a tab started!” Dean jokingly called after you.
You flipped him off in response, taking a seat at the bar after placing your order. While you waited, Sam watched as Dean grew more restless in his seat.
“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” he finally asked, eyeing Dean as he fidgeted anxiously.
“What?” Dean asked cluelessly, glancing around the bar. “I’m thirsty. She’s been gone for what, like, half an hour?���
“It’s… barely been two minutes, Dean,” Sam informed him with an amused grin.
“Yeah, well. I want my beer,” Dean mumbled, tapping his fingers on the table as he glanced around once more. “I’m gonna go see if she needs help.”
Before Sam could even reply, Dean was already halfway across the bar, meeting you just as you got your final drink.
“Need a hand?” Dean asked cheerfully, his sudden appearance making you jump. “Sorry,” he added with a snicker.
“Dick,” you muttered with a laugh, hopping down from the stool. “Here you go,” you added, handing him his beer.
“Awesome,” he beamed, taking the bottle from your outstretched hand.
He followed closely as you made your way back to the table, handing Sam his drink before sliding into the booth; Dean followed suit, leaving you nestled in between him and the wall.
The three of you had a few more rounds before Dean slipped away, determined to teach a lesson to the arrogant ass harassing players around the pool tables - just because you didn’t need to hustle people anymore didn’t mean it wasn’t still fun every now and then. You watched him fondly, laughing quietly to yourself as you watched him fumble around with his cue before making a terrible break. Harder than it looks, you could just hear him say.
Your attention was turned back to Sam when he cleared his throat, and you were met with his questioning gaze. “Does he seem weird to you?”
“Weird how?” you asked, face scrunched in confusion.
“I don’t know, strange,” he replied with a small shrug. “Like- like antsy or something.”
Your eyes flit back across the room to Dean, who was very much in his element as he upped his ante, before focusing on Sam again. “I haven’t noticed anything, Sammy.”
He sighed in resignation, seeming to already know that would be your response. “It’s probably nothing, just forget I said anything,” he replied, shaking his head dismissively before finishing his drink.
“If you say so,” you muttered quietly, sipping your drink as you cast a worried gaze across the bar, getting lost in thought.
By the time you each finished another round of drinks, Dean made his way back over to the table; much to the surprise of you and Sam.
“Done so soon?” Sam questioned, raising an eyebrow at his brother.
“Yeah,” Dean shrugged, sliding back into the seat beside you.
“But you only played one round,” you said quizzically.
“So?” Dean wondered, gulping down the rest of his beer.
“So, you usually play a lot more than that,” Sam pitched in, shifting his gaze between you and Dean.
Dean sighed, his bottle clanging on the table as he set it back down. “Why am I getting the third degree here? I played a game, he learned his lesson, I got over it. End of story.”
“Okay, grouchy,” you snickered, ruffling his hair a little just because you knew he hated it. Except he really did love it when it was you doing it.
“Whatever, anyone want another round?” he asked with a huff, lightly swatting your hand away.
“No, I’m gonna call it a night,” you admitted, shifting to slip your jacket back on.
“Yeah, me too,” Sam declared, starting to stand from the table.
Dean stood as well, assumingly just to let you out. “Alright, let’s go.”
You and Sam both stilled in your movements at his response, sharing a shocked look with each other. “You’re… coming with us?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked with a scoff, shrugging his jacket on as he looked questioningly between you and Sam. “Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you guys?”
“We just didn’t expect you to call it a night so early,” Sam explained helplessly. “Gettin’ old, huh?” he added, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“Yeah, I mean, you barely even wracked up a tab!” you declared with a laugh, before grinning mischievously. “Drinks just don’t agree with you anymore, do they, old man?”
Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, fixing his collar just to busy his hands. “Okay, alright, one more wisecrack and I’m leaving you both here.”
Despite the finality in his tone, the amusement dancing in his eyes gave him away - as did the hand he extended to you to help you slide from the booth.
“Whatever you say, grandpa,” Sam teased, patting Dean on the shoulder before walking away with laughter in his wake. “I’ll be outside!”
You chuckled in response, and the stern look Dean gave you only made you laugh even more. “Yeah, yeah. Hurry it up, chuckles,” he chided, wiggling his fingers at you. He surveyed the bar as you finally took hold of his hand, sliding out from your seat with ease and standing before him. “Ready?” he asked, gaze turning back to look down at you.
“Yeah, I just gotta go pay,” you replied, nodding your head in the direction of the bar counter.
“Alright,” he said with a nod. He gave your hand a squeeze, though instead of letting go like he normally would, he held it firmly as he led the way across the bar.
You followed along quietly, trying your hardest to not read too much into it. Though when you stood before the bar and he had yet to release your hand, you gave him a puzzled look. “Did you wanna go get the car?” you asked hesitantly.
He looked confused for a moment, as if he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on either, before he cleared his throat with a curt nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll meet you out there. Don’t take too long,” he rushed, giving your hand another fleeting squeeze before shuffling away.
Strange, you thought briefly, before shifting your attention to the bartender before you.
As you paid the tab, Dean settled into the driver's seat of Baby, and Sam watched him impatiently drum his fingers against the wheel as he hummed along to whatever song was in his head; and he couldn’t help but snort a laugh as Dean checked his watch one, two, three times since getting into the car.
“You’re ridiculous,” Sam chided with a laugh, shaking his head.
“What?” Dean inquired, annoyance clear in his voice.
“Dude, please tell me you see what’s going on,” Sam pleaded.
Dean widened his eyes in confusion, glancing around the near empty parking lot before looking back at his brother. “What’s going on?”
Before Sam could reply, their attention was caught by the opening of the bar’s door when you emerged from the building, a grin forming on your face as you caught sight of them waiting in the car.
Dean matched your grin, quickly reaching for the door handle and scrambling outside. “There she is!” he greeted happily, opening the back door for you.
“Fucking idiot,” Sam muttered to himself, staring out the window with an amused grin as you and Dean settled into your seats.
The three of you made it back in no time, and, having to settle for a single bed when first getting to town over driving for another who-knows-how-long just to find another motel, shuffled out of the car and into your shared room with heavy feet.
“Finally,” Dean muttered with relief, shutting the door behind him as Sam took a seat. “Whoa, whoa,” Dean barked, holding up a hand. “What’re you doing?”
Sam froze just as he sat on the bed, staring up at his brother. “What?”
“That’s my bed,” Dean declared with a huff.
“No, it’s not,” Sam answered with a scoff. “It’s your turn for the couch.”
“Dude, I’m not sleeping on the pull-out!” Dean declared with finality.
“What, are you kidding me?” Sam asked incredulously. “You got the bed last time!”
“Yeah, and I just got ragdolled by a crazy ass witch, I deserve a mattress!” Dean argued, stepping towards the bed. “Get up.”
“No,” Sam argued stubbornly, relaxing further atop the sheets.
“You guys are ridiculous,” you said with an exasperated sigh, walking across the room. “I’ll take the couch.”
“Not a chance,” Dean denied, not even sparing you a glance.
“What, why?” you asked in confusion.
“First of all, I’m not sharing with Sam,” Dean replied, turning to look at you. “Second, you got it worse than I did. I’m not shoving you on a pull-out.”
“Oh, please-” you started to argue, before he cut you off.
“I patched you up myself, [Y/N]. Don’t bother trying to lie to me,” he cautioned.
You opened your mouth to argue once more, but the look on his face stopped you short. “Whatever,” you mumbled, turning towards the bathroom. “I’m getting ready for bed. Figure this out before I get back so I can actually go to bed, please.”
The bickering resumed as you quickly retreated, shutting the bathroom door on Dean’s disgruntled declaration of “best two out of three.”
By the time you re-entered the room, you were met with silence. Surveying the surroundings, you found Sam digging through his toiletries bag while sitting in his original spot on the bed. Your gaze snapped over to the couch, where Dean sat looking like a kicked puppy.
“You went with scissors again, didn’t you?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
He met your gaze as Sam snickered behind you, causing his face to sour even more. “Shut up,” he mumbled before standing, bristling past you with slumped shoulders.
You chuckled quietly to yourself and grabbed the spare sheets, quickly making up the pull-out for Dean while he got ready; hopefully he’d be a little less cranky about it all if this was at least already done.
Once finished, you made your way over to the bed and curled up under the covers. After saying a quick goodnight to Sam, you were asleep before Dean even left the bathroom.
Fear gnawed at Dean, his body frozen in place as a cold spread through him, panic clinging to him like ice. He tried to call out to you, but all that left him was a strangled breath as his lungs seized up. He watched as the waves carried you away, further and further from where he stood. By the time his legs finally moved to carry him closer to shore, his feet were so heavy it was as though he was wading through quicksand.
“No, no, no,” he pleaded quietly, watching as the waters edge never grew near no matter how far he ran.
Your voice cried out to him, surging him forward even faster as you drifted ever outwards, terror seeping deeper into his bones with every futile step he took.
He couldn’t reach you.
He couldn’t save you.
The realisation that you were gone caused his world to come crashing down around him as he fell to his knees. A roaring filled his ears, and he didn’t know whether it was the irascible water that held you captive or the blood racing from his pounding heart.
As he stayed there - watching the crashing waves for any sign of you, listening for a call of his name, unwilling to move for fear he’d miss you - the water suddenly crept up around him, as if to mock him.
The sky darkened as he let out an anguished cry, his voice blending in with the storm beginning to brew around him. Yet despite the deafening howls, he heard it clear as day: your voice, calling out to him.
“Dean.”
The world stilled around him once more, your voice ringing out in a whisper as gentle as the wind.
“Dean.”
He stood, frantically searching the horizon for you. He tried to call out, yet his voice still never came.
“Dean!” you called out, voice booming like thunder from above.
A small hand gripped his own, pulling him so forcefully he was yanked off his feet. He let out a startled cry, a spark of lightning igniting so brightly before him that he screwed his eyes shut.
“God dammit, Dean!”
Another force shook him, and when we reopened his eyes, he was met with the suspiciously stained ceiling of the motel room. He bolted upright, heart hammering against his chest as he looked around. He caught your worried gaze as he wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to steady his breathing as you leaned in closer.
“[Y/N?]” he gasped out, pushing himself further upright.
His hand reached out automatically, fingers tentatively brushing against your cheek as if to evaluate your solidity. When he was satisfied that you wouldn’t evaporate, he surged forward to wrap you in a desperate embrace; the icy grip of terror finally starting to melt.
“It was just a nightmare, De,” you soothed quietly, tracing a hand along his back. “Everything’s alright.”
“Yeah,” he said tightly, swallowing the lump forming in his throat as he let you go. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m alright, get back to bed.”
“You’re okay?” you questioned, concern laced in both your face and tone of voice.
“I’m okay,” he affirmed with a nod, casting his gaze aside so you wouldn’t see the panic still swirling within him.
“Okay,” you said softly, placing a gentle kiss upon the crown of his head before standing from the edge of the pull-out.
Dean got up after you to grab a glass of water, his heart jumping in his chest as he remembered the sight of you being ripped away by the current.
“Just a nightmare,” he reminded himself under his breath. “Just a nightmare.”
Not having slept another wink after his nightmare, Dean was unsurprisingly the first one up the next morning. Taking it upon himself to get breakfast for the three of you, he found himself at the nearest diner waiting for his order.
Drumming his fingers impatiently on the sticky linoleum counter, a burning desire to call you began to build within him. Knowing you were likely still sleeping, he decided to busy himself with a stupid game you downloaded on his phone.
Yet the urge to reach out to you grew tenfold as he sat there, a sinking feeling that it might mean you were in danger starting to take hold of him. Just as his mind began to swirl with questions of what the hell was going on with him, he heard your voice calling his name.
His head snapped up, expecting to see you sliding onto the stool beside him, ready to give you hell for walking here in search of him all by yourself in a random town. He figured you must’ve known he was here, and it wouldn’t have been a far walk from the motel, but it was still stupid.
Though the words died on his tongue as he realized you weren’t there, and that familiar feeling of dread trickled through him after scanning the diner and not finding you anywhere.
Another voice called out, this time the waitress, announcing that his order was ready. He met her smiling face with nothing but confusion, her smile faltering for a moment.
“Everything alright?” she asked hesitantly.
“Huh?” he asked, before snapping out of his daze. “Oh, yeah. Just a little too early for me. Thanks-” he paused, squinting to read her name tag. “Thanks, Edna,” he charmed, flashing his signature grin as he gathered the order.
“Anytime, sugar,” she charmed, her smile perking back up as she sent him a wink.
With one last - albeit awkward - grin sent her way, Dean quickly left the diner; already feeling lighter for knowing he’d be back at the motel soon. His grin only grew when he glanced across the street and caught a glimpse of you staring back at him, proving that he wasn’t crazy and you really did come to meet him.
He took a step forward, intending to call out to you, when a truck drove by and blocked you from sight. The grin was wiped from his face and the coffee tray nearly slipped out of his hand when he noticed you had completely disappeared in its wake.
Fearing the worst once more, he scrambled into the car and quickly called you, firing Baby to life as the line rang.
“Hey,” you answered with a stifled yawn. “Please tell me you’re getting breakfast. And coffee.”
“Yeah, I-” he faltered in his response, having to let out a breath of relief as he realized you were safe and sound. “I’ll be back in a few, you and Sammy still there?”
“Where else would we be?” you asked with a giggle.
While the sound would normally bring a smile to his face, your words only caused a frown to appear. “You only waking up now?”
“Don’t judge me,” you teased. “It’s only… ten after seven, I barely slept in.”
“Just not used to being up before you,” he lied, knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel.
“Miracles really do happen,” you joked with a laugh. “You sound weird, is everything okay?” you added, worry tinting your voice.
“Hm?” he wondered, not processing your question right away. “Oh, no- yeah, I-... just didn’t get much sleep.”
“Right,” you said, teetering on the edge of believing him or not.
“Really, I’m good,” he assured, sensing your apprehension. “I just gotta catch some z’s and I’ll be good as new.”
“Okay. I’ll see you in a few then,” you relented. “Drive safe,” you added as an afterthought before hanging up.
The line went dead as he stopped at a red light, his stomach churning as he stared at his reflection in the rearview.
“Just need some sleep,” he assured himself.
“Dude, would you quit it with the pacing?” Sam snapped, setting his book down on the table for sheer lack of concentration.
Dean stopped just long enough to stare daggers at his brother before marching down the library once more. “She’s been gone too long.”
“She’s been gone an hour,” Sam informed, hands running over his face in exasperation.
“Exactly,” Dean replied, pointing a finger at Sam in acknowledgment. “Something must’ve happened.”
“Dude, she’s at the grocery store. With Jack. What the hell could possibly happen?”
“I don’t know!” Dean exclaimed, arms flailing as he whirled to face Sam. “Something must’ve! She hasn’t answered my last text and it’s been-” he paused, pulling out his phone to brandish the screen. “Seven minutes!”
“Oh, my god,” Sam groaned, tossing his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I can’t deal with this anymore.”
“What are you talking about? Aren’t you worried?” Dean asked gruffly.
“No, Dean, I’m not worried! There’s no reason to be worried!” Sam proclaimed.
“No reason? She could be dead!” Dean barked, his face taking on an expression of disbelief.
Sam sighed as he leaned over the table, raising his eyebrows. “Okay, let me ask you this: why, exactly, do you think she’s dead?”
“Oh, come on, Sam!” Dean grumbled. “We don’t exactly live cookie cutter lives here, you know. One minute she’s returning the shopping cart, and the next she’s got a damn knife in her back!”
“Dean,” Sam soothed. “You know as well as I do that’s a load of crap.”
“No,” Dean argued, shaking his head. “We don’t know that. We don’t know anything, you know why?”
Before Sam could even respond, Dean waved his phone around before dropping it on the table. “Because she won’t answer her damn phone!”
“Okay, this is actually ridiculous,” Sam declared. “How can you seriously not see what’s been happening to you?”
“Knock it off, Sam,” Dean muttered, waving a hand dismissively as he began pacing again. “I’m fucking fine.”
“You’re fine,” Sam repeated incredulously. “You’re friggin’ cursed, Dean!”
“I’m not cursed!” shouted Dean. “Would you quit it with that crap?”
“Right, because nothing’s been going on with you lately, right?”
“Right!” Dean agreed with a huff.
“You haven’t been, say, I don’t know…. not sleeping? Feeling stir crazy? Getting paranoid?”
“Sam-”
“No, I’m serious, Dean! How can you not see this?”
“Because I’m fine!” Dean argued, stalling his movements to gather his phone from the table.
After a few moments of silence, Dean rolled his eyes and found himself once more walking the length of the library. “Okay, maybe I’ve been feeling a little weird lately, but I’ve just been tired - and you know what? I survived worse. So yeah, I’m fine!”
“Right,” Sam said sceptically. “And have you… noticed when it is that you feel… weird?”
“I don’t know!” Dean announced frustratedly.
“Dean,” Sam chastised.
“What?”
“You’ve been feeling like this all week, and it’s only getting worse. You’ve been like this since that witch cursed you - and don’t say she didn’t. Use your fucking head, Dean! You’re cursed!”
Dean’s jaw clenched as he tried to remain calm, taking a moment to formulate his response. “You’re insane,” he finally declared.
“I think you’re the insane one,” Sam contested. “You were cursed to yearn for something, Dean. Only in this case… it’s someone.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“C’mon, Dean!” Sam pleaded with a laugh. “The only time you get like this is when you’re more than ten feet away from [Y/N].”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean muttered dismissively.
“You’ve checked your phone another five times since you picked it up.”
“So?” Dean questioned, failing to resist the urge to check it once more. “I’m worried, not cursed.”
“You’re worried because you’re cursed!” Sam argued.
“I’m worried because I lo-” Dean quickly fell silent as the words died on his tongue, his brain firing into total overdrive as he laughed nervously. “I care, that’s why I’m worried.”
Sam stared at his brother in total disbelief, trying to find a way to make him realize what was going on- or, most likely, acknowledge what was going on.
Yet before the conversation could go any further, the bunker door screeched open and the sound of your laughter fleeted down to greet Dean, effectively turning his scowl into an affectionate grin.
“Hope you remembered my pie!” he called out, marching to meet you at the foot of the stairs without so much as a glance back in Sam’s direction.
“When have I ever forgotten?” you asked, feigning offence as you held out the bag which contained his pie.
“Well,” he started, taking the bag from you. “There was that time in Redford-”
“Hey!” you interrupted with a laugh. “I didn’t forget, they were out!”
“See, I still don’t believe you,” he teased, heading for the kitchen.
“Believe whatever you want, Dean,” you replied playfully.
“I’m still waiting for it, you know. You should get me two next time,” he joked, though he was partly serious.
“Dean?” Sam’s voice tentatively called out.
“Yeah?” Dean replied hotly, keeping his back to Sam as he went to grab a beer from the fridge.
“Who, uh… who the hell are you talking to?” he asked carefully, surveying the empty kitchen.
“Hilarious, Sam,” he said dryly, shutting the fridge. “I’m talking to-”
His mouth ran dry as he turned around, being met with just his brother, who was staring with concern from the doorway.
“[Y/N],” Dean finished weakly.
“Her and Jack aren’t back yet, Dean,” Sam said carefully, as though talking to a lost child.
“Yes, they are. They got back, she gave me my pie, we came in here,” Dean said fiercely, his confidence shattering when he went to gesture at the pie he set down moments earlier and found it to be gone.
“Maybe you should sit down,” Sam suggested, not knowing what to do.
“I’m fine!” Dean shouted, hovering over the counter. “I’m fine,” he repeated, moreso to himself than anything.
“Okay, look, how about I try calling [Y/N], okay?” Sam offered, hesitantly walking further into the kitchen. “See when they’ll be back.”
“They are back!” Dean barked, glaring at Sam. “She was just in here!”
Sam didn’t know what to say, the fear and concern for his brother crashing down on him.
“She was just in here,” Dean repeated shakily, meeting Sam’s gaze with confusion.
“Dean,” Sam started to say, before the familiar tone of your ringtone came from Dean’s phone, cutting through the air like a knife.
Dean pulled the phone from his pocket, clearing his throat before answering. “Yeah?”
“Dean, thank god,” you cheered, sighing in relief. “Listen, we came out to a flat tire and I don’t have a spare because I forgot to fucking replace it and there are too many people around for Jack to, you know, try fixing it,” you rambled anxiously. “Can you please come help?”
“You’re still at the store?” Dean clarified, looking up at Sam with frightened eyes.
“Yeah, we’re stuck in the parking lot,” you told him breezily.
“Okay,” he said, swallowing thickly. “Alright, I’ll be right there.”
“Thanks, De!” you said happily, ending the call.
Dean stood there for a few moments staring down at his unopened bottle of beer on the counter, trying to gather his thoughts, before finally lifting his gaze to Sam.
“I’ll, uh…. I’ll be back,” he told him, not waiting for a response before trudging out of the kitchen.
You found yourself yet again rushing down the hall to Dean’s room, his muffled yells waking you in the dead of night once more.
He uttered your name as you shut the door behind you, and though it took you by surprise the very first time it happened - nearly two weeks ago, now - it was something you’ve almost come to expect. It was killing you, watching him go through this every night and not being able to fix it. You would sit with him, find ways to gently rouse him from his terror filled slumber and comfort him when he woke, but it never seemed like enough; he deserved more.
At first you didn’t think there was too much going on, figuring his shift in behaviour was just due to his lack of sleep. You didn’t believe Sam when he talked to you about it; Dean may have been acting a little more strange than usual, but it didn’t raise any red flags.
It wasn’t until the morning following your conversation that you noticed it, cluing in and realising how different Dean had been; how long he’d been different. The excess text messages, the increase in phone calls, the insistence on you not going anywhere without him and his exuberant reactions to you getting back safe when you did go somewhere without him, his constant questioning on where you were or where you’ve just been. Something else was going on, and you could only think it really did come down to the witch you two encountered. So you and Sam called up Rowena, getting her take on the situation and figuring out what to do.
Her words now echoed through your head as you perched yourself on the edge of his bed: “Magic isn’t simple. Some curses are anchored by the witch, ending whenever they were to die. But others are more complex, rooted not in the witch but the object of the curse itself, not breaking until their purpose is carried out one way or another. Perhaps if you can figure out what it is Dean needs, you can break the curse yourselves. If this carries on for any longer… I’m worried it will kill him.”
While you ran your fingers through his hair, you decided right then and there that once he woke up, you wouldn’t leave without confronting him about it. You knew it would likely start a fight, and you felt a little guilty knowing you would all but interrogate him right after having another nightmare, but all that guilt flew right out the window the second Dean startled himself awake, the sight of his panic stricken face as he gasped for air nearly bringing you to tears; you’ve seen him like this too often as of late.
“It’s alright, Dean,” you soothed, reaching out to him. “I’m right here, everything’s fine.”
His gaze snapped to you, unable to hide the confusion and terror still coursing through him despite the relief he felt. “[Y/N]?”
“Yeah, De,” you cooed, running a hand across his shoulder blades. “We’re in your room, everyone’s okay.”
He let out a shuddering breath, hanging his head in his hands. “You’re okay,” he whispered softly. “You’re okay.”
You sat quietly with him for a few more minutes, patiently comforting him as best as you could while you thought of how to approach this conversation.
Clearing his throat, Dean was the first to speak again as he rose from the bed. “Sorry I woke you again.”
The dejection and shame laced in his voice tore your heart to bits, and you had to put up a good fight to keep your emotions in check. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“Yeah, I do,” he disagreed, trudging to his sink in the corner.
“Dean, please talk to me,” you pleaded, watching as he turned on the water.
You fell silent, waiting for him to deny you and brush you off again. You waited for him to say something, to do something, but all he did was stare at the running water.
“Dean?” you asked cautiously, slowly getting up from the bed yourself.
“I can’t save you,” he muttered quietly, his gaze on the faucet unyielding.
“What?” you asked curiously, not knowing what he meant.
“I can never save you,” he carried on. “You always just… slip away from me. Every time. It’s always the same.”
“What’s always the same?” you questioned, moving closer towards him.
“I try,” he muttered, seemingly oblivious to your presence. “I run, and I fight, and I try, but I can never reach you. I can never get to you.”
He seemed to snap out of his daze a little, moving to splash water over his face before turning off the tap. “You keep dying. I keep watching you die. I can’t watch you die again, [Y/N]. I can’t.”
“This is what your nightmares have been?” you wondered.
He fell silent again for a minute before meeting your gaze in the mirror. “Yeah.”
“It’s not real, Dean,” you told him softly.
“It’s real enough for me,” he muttered, turning to face you.
“And is this why you’ve been… acting differently towards me?” you asked hesitantly.
He averted his gaze, hanging his head as he considered your question. “I guess,” he said with a shrug. “Maybe, yeah. I don’t know.”
“Dean,” you scolded with a sigh, plopping back down on the bed. “Why won’t you just tell me what’s going on?”
“Because everything’s fine!” he argued once again.
“I’m not stupid, Dean!” you challenged. “I know you. I can see something's eating you alive and it’s fucking killing me to witness it. So please, tell me what the hell is going on.”
“It’s just nightmares,” he lied, crossing his arms against his chest.
“It’s more than nightmares!” you cried. “You’re withering away into nothing, Dean! I mean let’s face it! You’re practically a zombie nowadays with how little sleep you get, you’ve been acting like a puppy with separation anxiety, and let’s not forget how completely erratic you’ve been.”
He glared at you, jaw clenching as he decided whether or not to entertain this conversation. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t slept lately,” he admitted starkly. “But like I keep saying, I’m fine.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of lying?” you sneered, glaring up at him.
He rolled his eyes, averting his gaze to anywhere else as he shook his head. “No, but I’m getting tired of having this conversation all the time.”
“Well too bad!” you yelled, abruptly standing from the bed. “Cause I’m tired of never having this conversation go anywhere! I’m tired of you brushing off the idea of you being cursed. I didn’t believe it at first either, but what the hell else could it be, Dean?”
“Oh, come on!” he barked, running a hand over his face. “I see Sam got his hooks into you.”
“Yeah, he did. And you need to listen to us.”
“No, I really don’t,” he scoffed, starting to head to the door.
“Even if it kills you?” you blurted out.
“It’s not gonna kill me!”
“God, look at you, Dean! It already is!” you argued, marching closer to him. “How would you feel if the situation were reversed?”
He let out a sigh, pausing with his hand on the doorknob before turning back to you. “What?”
“What if it were me going through all this instead of you? Would you let me get away with not even listening to you and Sam?”
He narrowed his eyes at you, staring at you in silence for so long you expected him to turn away again. Instead, he let out a deep breath as he took a seat, gesturing for you to carry on. “Five minutes.”
You almost went to argue before you thought better of it, knowing full well that if Dean never came around to the theory he would actually cut you off at the five minute mark. So, you did your best to recount the entire situation for him, reiterating what you, Sam, and Rowena had to say about it all in the hopes of getting through to him. By the time you finished, you knew it was well over five minutes, so you took Dean not interrupting you to be a good sign.
“Okay,” he finally said with a small nod. “Well, I listened. Can I go now?”
Your heart dropped to your stomach, anger and fear bubbling inside of you as you exploded. “God, you are unbelievable!”
“Well what do you want me to say?” he grumbled. “I just don’t believe that’s what’s going on.”
“How can you not believe it?” you asked incredulously. “It’s obvious!”
“Look, I said I don’t believe it, alright?” Dean snapped. “Why are you so hellbent on making this into some big fight? Just accept it.”
“No!” you seethed. “I can’t just accept the fact that this could kill you. Especially not when there’s a way we could end this.”
“No,” he disagreed, shaking his head. “You can’t fix this, [Y/N/N]. You just can’t.”
“I can!” you cried. “Just tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“You know what,” you scolded.
“This is so fucking ridiculous.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“Why the hell do you care so much?” he questioned exasperatedly.
“Because I’m fucking terrified, Dean!” you exclaimed. “I’ve watched you grow more restless and anxious every day since the night we finished that case. I’ve seen the life drain from you more and more as sleep became nearly impossible for you. And I know it’s nearly impossible for you, because I have spent the last eleven nights sitting on that bed as you got terrorised by your own mind. I don’t care if you believe in this curse or not, Dean, because I do.”
Dean stood quietly, absorbing what you said as the severity of the situation began to dawn on him.
“I mean don’t you get it?” you asked sadly, cutting through the silence. “If something happens to you, if I lose you… that’s not something I can come back from.”
Dean fell silent once more, running a hand through his hair as he took a deep breath, pacing around the room a little as he turned everything over in his head.
“I’m scared, Dean,” you reiterated softly. “Please, just let us try to fix this.”
“There’s some things I should tell you, then,” he admitted quietly after a moment of silence, taking a seat on the bed.
“About what’s been happening?” you asked hopefully.
He nodded, staring down at his hands folded in his lap. “Yeah.”
“Okay,” you said, moving his desk chair to take a seat. “I’m listening.”
He took a bracing breath, taking a few minutes to build the courage to speak. “Well, you know I’ve been having nightmares.”
“I do,” you agreed quietly.
“It’s always the same one,” he admitted, keeping his gaze cast downwards. “I could never figure out why. It didn't make sense to me why it was always the same thing. So I finally talked to Sam about it, and he had a pretty good theory. But, you know me. I didn’t want to believe it because it came back down to that witch and this stupid fucking curse.”
He let out a bitter laugh, pausing long enough for you to speak up. “What did he have to say about it?”
“I tried telling myself I was fine,” he continued, ignoring your question. “I was fine, at first. At first it was just not sleeping well… but then other things started happening.”
“Other things like what?” you wondered quietly.
“Like my blood feeling like it’s on fucking fire,” he muttered, wiping at his face. “And my skin feeling like it-… like it’s being peeled off my goddamn bones, and my face feeling like it’s melting… and how I get this- this bubble inside my chest that feels like it’s either gonna burst or suffocate me and how it all only happens-” he stopped in his rambling, taking a deep breath before chuckling in disbelief. “God, it only happens when you’re not around, [Y/N].”
“I-... what do you mean?” you asked breathlessly.
“Oh, come on, [Y/N],” he said bitterly. “I know you’ve noticed. I text you more, I’m almost always calling you. I just- I get this… this unwavering panic inside me when you’re not around. I keep-... I swear to god I see you everywhere when you’re gone. I catch sight of you across the street, I smell your stupid shampoo when I’m alone, I hear your voice when no one’s there. I had an entire conversation with you and you weren’t even there,” he carried on, shaking his head as he briskly wiped away an angry tear. “God, I’m going fucking crazy,” he added with a manic chuckle.
“You’re not crazy, Dean,” you said gently.
“That night,” he started, staring at the wall across from him. “She was trying to get back someone she lost… someone she loved.”
“Right,” you agreed.
“They used to drown them, people they accused of being witches,” he continued slowly.
“Yeah, it was pretty common. Sink, and you were innocent. Float, and you were guilty,” you pitched in. “But… what does that have to do with this?”
“I think they were innocent,” he said simply. “Whoever she lost… I think that’s how she lost them.”
“Why do you think that?” you asked curiously.
Dean cleared his throat, staring pensively at his hands once more. “The nightmares. It’s always… you always drown. I keep-... I can never save you.”
“I don’t get-” you started to say, before he cut you off.
“It’s how she lost who she loves, [Y/N],” he said curtly. “It makes sense for me to see the one I love go the same way.”
“I-... what?” you asked, too stunned to think of anything else to say.
“The dreams, the hallucinations, the- the way I’ve been feeling… I didn’t want to admit it, I still don’t, but I can’t… I mean I can only ignore it for so long, right?” he said, scoffing quietly. “Especially with you and Sam breathing down my neck about it.”
“Ignore what, Dean?” you asked breathlessly, your heart hammering in your chest.
“You,” he muttered. “They way I feel about you. The way I’ve always felt about you.”
You didn’t dare respond, his words ringing in your ears as he fell silent, each of you lost in your own thoughts for a while.
“I’ve always known that I love you, [Y/N/N],” he carried on, slowly meeting your gaze with glistening eyes. “But this… this curse, this whatever it is. God, it’s just made it all so much worse, and I knew. I knew it was you that my entire being was screaming out for but I couldn’t… I couldn’t admit it.”
“Why not?” you asked shakily, feeling your tears starting to build.
“How could I put that on you?” he asked, a few rogue tears slipping down his face. “You said it yourself, this thing is killing me. It’s gonna kill me, unless I get what I want, and given that that’s you, I’m calling it game over.”
“No, Dean, it’s not,” you denied with a sniffle, cutting through your own stray tears. “You should’ve told me.”
“Yeah, well,” he grumbled, shrugging lightly as he looked back at his hands. “I told you now.”
“Dean,” you sighed, wiping your face as you stood from your seat. “Do you trust me?” you asked, walking towards him.
“Of course I do,” he said quickly, almost offended by the question.
“Okay, well, I’ll need you to trust me on this,” you replied, stopping just in front of where he sat.
“Okay,” he said with a huff.
“You gotta look at me, though,” you said, laughing softly.
Sighing dejectedly, he slowly lifted his head to meet your gaze, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips as he looked at you.
You smiled softly at him, gently taking his face in your hands before wordlessly bringing your lips down to meet his. At first, neither of you really knew what was happening, and just when you thought to pull away you felt his lips moving against your own. His hands gripped your waist to hold you in place a moment longer before you each pulled away, staring silently at each other as you processed what just happened.
“What, uh… what was that for?” Dean finally asked.
“Well, it was either that or slapping some sense into you,” you said playfully. “Which I almost think you still deserve, because I can’t believe you honestly think I don’t love you back.”
“What?” he asked, his grip on your waist loosening in shock before tightening once more.
“You’ve had me since the day we met, Dean,” you told him softly, carding your fingers through his hair.
“You actually…” he trailed off quietly, trying to focus his thoughts. “You actually love me, of all people?”
“Yeah,” you said quietly. “I do.”
“So I- well, I guess I could’ve saved a lot of trouble if I really did just tell you, huh?” he asked jokingly, laughing tightly.
“I’ll give you hell for it tomorrow,” you teased, half serious. “For now, how about we try getting you back to sleep?”
“Actually,” he said, eyes sparkling with mischief. “I have a better idea involving this bed.”
You couldn’t help but snort a laugh, grinning fondly at him. “Oh, really?”
He grinned back, laughing with you before taking on a more sombre tone. “Do you trust me?”
“Always,” you said honestly.
“Good,” he replied with a grin, laughing heartily at the shriek you let out when he tossed you on the bed.
He stared down at you, a look you’ve never seen before painted on his face. “What?” you asked, giggling nervously.
“I love you,” he said earnestly, brushing a lock of hair away from your face.
“I love you, too,” you replied shyly, grinning softly.
He matched your grin, drinking you in a moment longer before crashing his lips upon yours once more.
When Dean woke the next morning, it didn’t take long for a grin to spread across his face as he quickly realized two things.
The first thing being that you, the love of his life, still remained tangled up in both his arms and the sheets, sleeping peacefully atop his chest.
The second being that, for the first time in a total of thirteen days, he was able to sleep without being haunted by his nightmares.
He felt you stir, and his grin widened as you nestled in closer, tightening your grip on him as you slept. He planted a kiss against your temple, pulling you in close as he blissfully settled in for another peaceful rest.
Maybe witches aren’t so bad.
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Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that
Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/
I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.
Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask
Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember
Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my
--
I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.
I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.
People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.
But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.
The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.
The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.
Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.
If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).
Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.
If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.
Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."
And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"
Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."
This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.
A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.
NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.
If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.
Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.
As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.
Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.
—
UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.
But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!
Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.
Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.
The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.
Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )
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birthdays - cl16
summary: charles and yn's love story spans over two decades, beginning when they meet at charles' 6th birthday party, where she promised to be there for all of his birthdays. wc: 4.6k
folkie radio: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAIN BOY 🥹🥹 a few years ago i wrote a fic like this for harry and it’s one of my favorite things i’ve posted so i felt like doing a charles version! i hope you like this as much as i do <3
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
6th birthday
The sun shone brightly over Monaco as YN and her mother walked down the tree-lined street. The air was filled with the scent of blooming flowers and the salty breeze from the nearby Mediterranean. The little girl clutched her mother's hand tightly, her eyes wide as she took in the unfamiliar surroundings of their new neighborhood.
"Are you excited for the party, sweetheart?" her mother asked, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
She nodded hesitantly. "But what if the other kids don't like me?"
"Don't worry, darling. I'm sure you'll make friends in no time," her mother assured her as they approached a beautiful villa with colorful balloons tied to the gate.
As they entered the backyard, they were greeted by the sight of children running around, laughter filling the air. A large bounce house dominated one corner, while a face-painting station was set up near the house. Tables adorned with race car-themed decorations were scattered around, laden with snacks and party favors.
A warm voice caught their attention. "Welcome! You must be our new neighbors."
YN looked up to see a kind-faced woman approaching them, a welcoming smile on her face.
"I'm Pascale Leclerc," she introduced herself, shaking her mother's hand. "And this must be YN! We're so glad you could make it."
She shyly hid behind her mother's leg, peeking out at Pascale.
"Charles!" Pascale called out. "Come here, darling. There's someone I'd like you to meet."
A small boy with tousled brown hair and bright blue eyes came running over, his cheeks flushed from playing.
"Charles, this is YN. She's new to the neighborhood," Pascale explained. "Why don't you introduce her to your friends?"
Charles grinned widely, revealing a missing front tooth. "Hi! Do you want to play with us? We're having a treasure hunt!"
She looked up at her mother, who nodded encouragingly. Slowly, she stepped out from behind her mother's leg.
"Okay," she said softly, "And happy birthday."
Charles's grin grew even wider. He reached out and took her hand. "Come on! I'll show you where we've found clues already!"
For the rest of the afternoon, YN found herself caught up in the excitement of the party. She and Charles searched for treasure and bounced in the bounce house. By the time the cake was brought out the little girl was laughing and chatting with her new friends as if she'd known them for years.
As the party began to wind down and parents started arriving to pick up their children, Charles approached YN, a serious look on his young face.
"YN," he said, "will you come to my other birthdays too?"
"Yes!" she nodded enthusiastically. "We should be friends!"
Charles's face lit up. "Best friends!" he declared, holding out his pinky.
The girl linked her pinky with his, sealing their newfound friendship. As she left the party, clutching a goody bag and wearing a bright smile, she knew she had found something special in her new home.
12th birthday
The wheels of their bicycles whirred as YN and Charles raced down the winding streets of Monaco. The sun beat down on them, but the breeze created by their speed kept them cool. YN's laughter echoed off the buildings as she pedaled harder, trying to keep up with Charles.
"Come on!” Charles called over his shoulder, a mischievous grin on his face. "We're going to be late for my own party!"
She rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling. "It's your fault for insisting on this bike race, birthday boy!"
They skidded to a stop in front of Charles's house, both breathing heavily but grinning from ear to ear. The front yard was already bustling with activity - balloons bobbed in the breeze, and the chatter of arriving guests filled the air.
As they walked their bikes to the garage, YN nudged Charles with her elbow. "I can't believe you're twelve already. You're practically ancient."
Charles laughed, running a hand through his windswept hair. "Says the girl who's been twelve for a whole two months. Come on, I smell cake!"
The party was in full swing, with kids from their school playing games and enjoying the sunny day. Charles's parents had outdone themselves this year, setting up a mini go-kart track in the backyard. The birthday boy, of course, was the undisputed champion, zipping around the track with a skill that left his friends in awe.
As the afternoon wore on, everyone gathered around a large table. In the center stood a cake, decorated to look like a Formula 1 car, complete with Charles' lucky number on the side. Twelve candles flickered atop the cake, their flames dancing in the gentle breeze.
Charles's eyes widened as his parents brought out the cake and the guests began to sing "Happy Birthday," their voices rising in a cheerful chorus. YN sang along enthusiastically, watching her best friend's face light up with joy.
As the song came to an end, Charles took a deep breath. With a determined look in his eye, he leaned forward and blew out all twelve candles in one go.
While Charles's mother began cutting the cake, YN edged closer to her best friend. "So," she said with a grin, "what did you wish for? To finally beat me in Mario Kart?"
Charles glanced around conspiratorially before leaning in close. "I wished to win the Monaco Grand Prix one day," he confessed, his green eyes sparkling with dreams of future glory.
YN's smile softened. Even after six years of friendship, Charles's passion for racing never failed to impress her.
"Wow," she said. "That's a pretty big wish."
"It's my biggest dream. But you can't tell anyone, okay? Or it won't come true."
"Your secret's safe with me," she promised. Then, struck by a sudden thought, she held out her pinky finger. "Hey, remember when we promised to be friends forever at your sixth birthday?"
"Of course!" Charles's face lit up with recognition, "Best decision I ever made," he said, linking his pinky with hers.
"Well, let's renew that promise. Friends forever, no matter what. That way, when you win the Monaco Grand Prix, I'll be right there cheering you on."
"Deal," Charles agreed, shaking their linked pinkies. "Forever friends."
As they sealed their promise for the second time, both of them felt the weight of it. At twelve, forever seemed like an awfully long time, but neither could imagine a future without the other in it.
16th birthday
The Italian sun was setting, painting the sky in orange and pink as YN made her way through the bustling paddock. The air smelt of rubber and gasoline, the sounds of engines filling her ears. She clutched a small, wrapped package in her hands, her eyes scanning the team garages for a familiar face.
Finally, she spotted him - Charles was standing next to his Formula 3 car, deep in conversation with his engineer. Even from a distance, she could see the intensity in his eyes, the determination set in his jaw. At sixteen, Charles was no longer the little boy she'd met at that birthday party a decade ago. He was taller now, leaner, with the beginnings of stubble on his chin.
"Charles!" she called out, waving to catch his attention.
His head snapped up at the sound of her voice, and his serious expression melted into a wide grin. "YN! You made it!" He excused himself from his engineer and jogged over to her, pulling her into a tight hug.
"Of course I made it," YN laughed, returning the embrace, "I couldn't miss your birthday, even if you insisted on spending it at a racetrack in Italy."
Charles pulled back, his eyes shining with excitement. "I'm so glad you're here. Come on, let me show you around."
As they walked through the paddock, Charles pointed out different teams and drivers, explaining the intricacies of Formula 3 racing. She listened intently, asking questions and marveling at how much Charles had grown not just in stature, but in knowledge and passion for his sport.
They ended up in Charles' team garage, where a small cake sat on a tool cart, a single candle stuck in the center.
"The team got it for me," Charles explained, looking a bit embarrassed. "They said we had to have something, even if we're not having a proper party."
YN smiled softly. "Well, then we better make it count." She lit the candle and started singing "Happy Birthday," her voice soon joined by the mechanics and other team members who had gathered around.
Charles blew out the candle, his cheeks slightly flushed. As the cake was being cut and distributed, YN handed him her gift.
"It's not much," she said as he unwrapped it, "but I thought you might like it."
Inside was a leather-bound journal, the cover embossed with Charles' initials.
"I thought you could use it to write down your thoughts, your goals… maybe even your future Formula 1 strategies," she explained with a wink.
Charles's eyes lit up. "This is perfect. Thank you." He pulled her into another hug, this one lasting a bit longer than usual.
As they sat on the pit wall, eating cake and watching the sun set over the track, YN turned to Charles. "So, how does it feel? Being here, racing in Formula 3… you're so close to your dream now."
Charles nodded, his expression turning serious. "It feels amazing, but also a bit scary. Everything's happening so fast, you know? Sometimes I worry…"
"Worry about what?" she prompted gently.
"That I might not be good enough," Charles sighed, "That I'll let everyone down."
"Charles, look at me," YN reached out and took his hand, when he met her eyes, she continued, "You are the most talented, dedicated person I know. You're going to make it to Formula 1, and you're going to be amazing."
"You really think so?" a small smile tugged at Charles's lips.
"I know so," she affirmed,then, with a playful nudge, she added, "Just promise me one thing?"
"Anything," Charles replied without hesitation.
"When you make it to Formula 1 and become a big star, don't forget about me, okay?"
Charles's expression softened, and for a moment, YN thought she saw something flicker in his eyes - something more than just friendship. But before she could analyze it, he squeezed her hand and said, "I could never forget about you. No matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend."
What YN didn't know was that in that moment, Charles was fighting the urge to tell her how he really felt. That she wasn't just his best friend, but the girl he had fallen in love with years ago.
But the timing wasn't right, not yet.
So he pushed the feelings down, locked them away. There would be time for matters of the heart later. For now, he had a championship to win and a birthday to celebrate - with his best friend by his side, just as she'd always been.
21st birthday
The Monaco night was alive with the sound of laughter and clinking glasses. Charles Leclerc's 21st birthday party was in full swing at a rooftop bar overlooking the Mediterranean.
The who's who of the racing world mingled with Charles' friends and family, all gathered to celebrate the young Sauber driver's birthday.
YN stood at the edge of the crowd, nursing a glass of champagne as she watched Charles work the room. He moved with an easy confidence, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries with team principals and fellow drivers. Yet every few minutes, his eyes would scan the crowd until they found her, and he'd flash her a quick smile before returning to his conversations.
As the night wore on, YN found herself on the balcony, enjoying a moment of quiet away from the party. The view of Monaco at night was breathtaking - the lights of the city twinkled below, mirroring the stars above.
"There you are," a familiar voice said behind her. "I've been looking for you."
She turned to see Charles approaching, two fresh glasses of champagne in his hands. He handed one to her before leaning on the balcony railing beside her.
"Sorry," she said with a small smile. "I just needed a bit of air. It's quite a party in there."
"Yeah, I think the team might have gone a bit overboard," Charles chuckled, "But I'm glad you're here."
They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, sipping their champagne and looking out over the city.
"So," YN said finally, turning to face him. "How does it feel to be 21? Official adult now, Formula 1 driver… you're living the dream, Charles."
Charles's expression turned thoughtful. "It feels… surreal, honestly. Sometimes I can't believe this is my life." He paused, then added softly, "But you know what the best part is?"
"What's that?"
Charles turned to face her, his green eyes intense in the moonlight. "That you're still here. After all these years, all these changes… you're still by my side."
YN felt her heart skip a beat at the earnestness in his voice. "Of course I am, Charles. I'll always be here for you. We made a promise, remember? Best friends forever."
Charles felt his heart race at her words. "Best friends forever." The phrase that had once brought him so much comfort now felt like a bittersweet reminder of the feelings he'd been harboring for so long.
As he looked at her, bathed in the soft glow of the Monaco night, memories flooded his mind. He thought of her cheering him on at his first go-kart race, of late-night study sessions where he'd catch himself staring at her instead of his textbooks, of the way his heart had leapt when she'd surprised him at his race in Italy on his 16th birthday. He realized he couldn't pinpoint exactly when he'd fallen in love with her because, in a way, he always had been.
The weight of his unspoken feelings suddenly felt unbearable. The thought of going another day, another year, without her knowing the truth seemed impossible. Charles took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do.
"YN," he said softly, setting down his champagne glass and taking her free hand in his. "There's something I need to tell you."
She looked up at him, curiosity and a hint of something else – was it hope? – in her eyes. "What is it, Charles?"
Charles swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his ears. "You're right, we did make a promise to be best friends forever. And you are my best friend, YN. You're the person who knows me better than anyone else in the world. But..." he paused, gathering his courage. "But you're not just my best friend. You're the one I'm in love with. I always have been."
YN's eyes widened, her lips parting in surprise. Charles pressed on, unable to stop now that he'd started.
"I can't hold back anymore. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Every success and failure, every moment of doubt or triumph – you're the one I want to share it all with. Not just as my friend, but as... as more."
He took a step closer, his eyes never leaving hers. "I know this might change everything between us, and if you don't feel the same way, I understand. But I couldn't let another birthday go by without telling you the truth. You're it for me, YN. You always have been."
For a moment that felt like an eternity, she stood frozen, her eyes locked with Charles's. The weight of his words hung in the air between them, charged with years of unspoken feelings and shared history.
Then, without warning, YN closed the distance between them. She reached up, cupping Charles's face in her hands, and pressed her lips to his in a kiss that was both tender and passionate. Charles, caught off guard for only a split second, wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as he returned the kiss with equal fervor.
When they finally parted, both slightly breathless, YN rested her forehead against Charles'. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears of joy as she whispered, "I love you too, Charles. I think I always have."
Charles felt his heart soar, a smile spreading across his face that was brighter than any he'd ever worn on a podium. "Really?" he asked, his voice filled with wonder and hope.
She nodded, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "Really. I just... I never thought you'd feel the same way. You're Charles, I'm just-"
"You're everything," Charles interrupted, his voice firm but gentle. "You're my best friend, my biggest supporter, the person I want to share every moment with. You're the one who knows all of me, not just the racer, but the boy who still gets nervous before every race and who can't sleep without his lucky charm."
YN smiled, remembering the small trinket she'd given him years ago that he still kept with him at every race. "We've been quite oblivious, haven't we?" she said, shaking her head in amusement.
Charles chuckled, pulling her close again. "Maybe. But we have all the time in the world to make up for it now."
As they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms with the twinkling lights of Monaco as their backdrop, both felt as though they were exactly where they were meant to be. The sounds of the party drifted out to them, a reminder of the celebration waiting inside, but for now, they were content in their own world.
"Happy birthday, Charles," YN murmured, leaning in for another kiss.
Charles smiled against her lips. "Best birthday ever," he replied before closing the distance between them once more.
24th birthday
The sun was setting over Monaco as YN stood in front of the mirror, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. She smoothed down her dress, a sleek number in Charles' favorite shade of red. As she fastened her earrings, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist from behind.
"You look absolutely stunning," Charles murmured, resting his chin on her shoulder and meeting her eyes in the mirror.
She smiled, leaning back into his embrace. "You clean up pretty well yourself, birthday boy," she replied, taking in his sharp suit and perfectly styled hair.
Charles pressed a soft kiss to the curve of her neck, causing her to shiver slightly. "You know," he said, his voice low and playful, "we could always skip the party. Stay here, just the two of us…"
"Nice try, Leclerc," YN laughed, turning in his arms to face him, "But your team worked hard on this party, and all your friends and family are waiting." She reached up, straightening his tie. "Besides, I put a lot of effort into your gift. I want to see your face when you open it."
"Oh? Any hints about what it might be?" Charles' eyes lit up with curiosity.
"Not a chance," YN grinned, tapping his nose playfully. "You'll just have to wait and see."
He pouted for a moment before breaking into a warm smile. "Fine, keep your secrets. As long as I have you by my side, that's all the gift I need."
YN felt her heart melt at his words. Even after all these years, Charles still had the ability to make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world. She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
"I love you," she whispered against his mouth.
"I love you too," Charles replied, deepening the kiss for a moment before reluctantly pulling away. "But you're right, we should get going. We don't want to be late to my own party."
As they drove through the winding streets of Monaco, the city lights twinkling like stars, YN couldn't help but steal glances at Charles. Suddenly, she noticed that they were heading away from the bustling city center.
"Charles?" she asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. "I think we're going the wrong way. The party's downtown, isn't it?"
Charles smiled mysteriously, his eyes never leaving the road. "I thought we'd take a little detour first. Trust me?"
"Always."
They drove in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, the familiar sights of Monaco giving way to a quieter, more residential area. Finally, Charles pulled up in front of a beautiful house, its elegant facade bathed in the glow of streetlights.
"Charles, what are we doing here?" YN asked as he came around to open her door.
He took her hand, helping her out of the car. "I have something to show you," he said softly, leading her towards the house.
As they approached the front door, Charles pulled out a key. YN's eyes widened in surprise. "Charles, is this...?"
He unlocked the door and gently guided her inside. The house was empty, but even in the dim light, she could see its potential - high ceilings, large windows, and an open floor plan that seemed to invite warmth and laughter.
Charles watched her take it all in, his heart pounding with nervous excitement. Finally, he spoke.
"YN, from the moment I met you, you've been my home. No matter where I am in the world, no matter what challenges I face on the track, you're my constant. My safe haven."
She turned to face him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Charles continued, his voice thick with emotion. "But I realized that while you've given me a home in your heart, I've never been able to offer you a physical place that's truly ours. Until now."
He took both of her hands in his. "This house... I bought it for us. I want it to be our home. A place where we can build our future together, where we can come back to after long days or weeks apart. A place filled with our love and hopefully... our family someday."
Tears were now flowing freely down YN's cheeks. "Charles," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.
"I know my career keeps us traveling a lot," he said, reaching up to wipe away her tears gently. "But I want you to have roots, a place that's ours. Where you can always feel safe and loved, even when I'm not there."
YN let out a watery laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. "You never cease to amaze me, Charles Leclerc. This is... it's perfect. It's more than I ever dreamed of."
"So, what do you say?" Charles pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers, "Ready to start our next chapter here?"
Instead of answering with words, she closed the gap between them, pouring all her love and gratitude into a passionate kiss. When they finally parted, both breathless, she whispered, "Yes. A thousand times, yes."
They stood there in the empty house that would soon become their home, holding each other close. The party, the guests, the whole world outside ceased to exist for a moment. It was just the two of them, standing on the threshold of their future together.
After a while, Charles chuckled softly. "You know, we're probably very late for the party now."
"I know," she said, her voice still thick with emotion, "It's supposed to be me giving you gifts on your birthday, not the other way around."
Charles chuckled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, I've never been very good at following rules," he teased. "Besides, seeing your face when I showed you our home? That's the best gift I could ever receive."
YN shook her head, a warm smile playing on her lips. "You're impossible, you know that? But I love you for it."
"And I love you, for as long as I can remember."
27th birthday
Charles stood on the balcony of their home, the same one he had surprised YN with three years ago. His fingers absently traced the outline of a small velvet box in his pocket, his heart racing with anticipation and nerves.
Inside, he could hear her moving about, putting the finishing touches on his birthday dinner. The aroma of his favorite dishes filled the air, bringing a smile to his face. At 27, Charles had achieved more than he ever dreamed possible – multiple Formula 1 wins, a strong contender for the championship, and most importantly, a life shared with his best friend and the love of his life.
"Charles?" her voice called from inside. "Dinner's ready!"
He took a deep breath, patting the ring box one last time before heading inside. The dining room was bathed in soft candlelight, the table set beautifully with their best china. YN stood by the table, looking radiant in a deep red dress that matched the color he wore on race days.
"Happy birthday, my love," she said softly, pulling him into a tender kiss.
As they sat down to eat, Charles couldn't help but marvel at how far they'd come. "You know," he said, reaching across the table to take her hand, "I was just thinking about my sixth birthday party."
"The day we met," she said with a warm smile. "How could I forget? I was so nervous about moving to a new place."
Charles chuckled, remembering the shy little girl who had hidden behind her mother's leg. "And now look at us. Twenty-one years later, and you're still the best gift I've ever received."
YN felt tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. "I remember you asked me to come to all your future birthdays," she said, her voice thick with emotion.
"And you've been here for every single one," Charles replied, his green eyes shining with love.
The weight of the ring box in Charles' pocket seemed to grow heavier, but he resisted the urge to pull it out just yet. Tonight was about celebrating. The proposal could wait for another perfect moment.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he continued, "but I thank my lucky stars every day that you walked into that birthday party all those years ago. You've made every birthday since then more special than the last."
"Oh, Charles," she whispered, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. "You've given me more than I ever dreamed possible. That little girl who was so scared of not fitting in found her home in you."
They came together in a kiss that was soft and sweet, yet filled with the depth of their shared history and the promise of their future. As they held each other close, both were transported back to that sunny day in Monaco, two six-year-olds making a promise of friendship that had blossomed into a love story for the ages.
When they finally pulled apart, Charles rested his forehead against hers, a soft smile playing on his lips. "So," he said, his voice light but filled with emotion, "think you might stick around for a few more birthdays?"
YN laughed, the sound like music to Charles' ears. "Just try and keep me away, Leclerc. You're stuck with me for all your birthdays, forever and always."
As they finished their dinner, Charles felt the ring box in his pocket once more. Soon, he thought, he'd ask her to make it official, to promise him not just all his birthdays, but every day in between.
But for now, he was content to bask in the glow of their love, celebrating not just his 27th birthday, but the incredible journey they'd shared.
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Truth or Dare | slumber party!h
Summary: Y/n's coworker, Harry, has never been to a slumber party so she decides to remedy that and give him a sleepover he'll never forget.
A/N: Based off this request. Thanks anon! I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 6,752
Warning: smut
. . .
By her third glass of chardonnay, her stomach was feeling the acid from the wine but she was having such a good time talking to Harry from the operations department that she didn’t care. She’d have another before calling it a night. Just one more glass so she could sit with him a little longer and listen to him talk and watch as he ran his finger along the edge of his pint glass.
He was probably looking at her like he was because he was also three pints of lager in and he was kind so he was holding eye contact to be polite. Certainly, it wasn’t because he found her attractive (though she’d have welcomed that).
The company’s management meeting was long over and everyone else had gone home but Harry and Y/n stayed for another round. They rarely ever got to talk at the office. She’d always wanted to pick his brain about why he decided to move to the US and how, of all companies, he chose to work at Dunn Services.
Y/n laughed on cue as he mentioned something from his childhood with his sister having her friends over to stay the night. He grinned, a healthy row of teeth aimed at her before he looked down and laughed at himself, “In truth? I never did have a sleepover or anything like that.”
“Really? Surely you had friends…”
Harry nodded, “Oh yeah I had a lot of friends. But I never stayed over at anyone’s and they never came over to mine either. Just… I don’t know. Never happened.”
Placing her nearly empty glass down she turned and waved with a smile as the waitress walked by, “Can we get another round, please?”
“How are you getting home?” Harry asked when she faced him, crossing her leg over her knee toward him.
“Taxi. You?”
“Might walk. I’m not far from here.”
Nodding she placed her elbows on the table, “So, I think that you’ve missed out on an integral right of passage, having never had a slumber party. You should definitely remedy that at some point. I highly recommend a fun sleepover. In fact, if you need pointers on what to do during a sleepover, I’m your gal.”
“Oh yeah? What’s your go-to during a slumber party?” Harry teased before taking another sip of his beer.
“Well, I think there are like two main components. The first is entertainment and I’m always keen on a good movie, or a dumb one, either way… a movie for sure if I’m picking. Some people like to play board games or whatever, but I like to stuff myself into a pile of blankets and pillows and just lie, or drape,” she spoke using her arms to demonstrate herself draping into pillows. “Occasionally, if the mood is right, I’ll enjoy a little truth or dare.”
“Got it. A movie and maybe if the mood is right, truth or dare. And what’s the second component.”
Y/n crossed her fingers together and raised her brows as if she were about to say something very important, “Snacks. Beverages. Good ones. Usually just small bites but here’s my list…” She cleared her throat, “Buttered popcorn, and possibly potato chips. Definitely something chocolatey, and maybe something like a cookie or a snack cake. If not potato chips then tortilla chips and if it’s tortilla chips, salsa should also definitely be on the menu.”
Harry held back the laugh in his throat as he nodded, “Wow. Okay. What about like a burger or Chinese food? Would that be allowed?”
Y/n shrugged, “It’s your party. You can do what you want. I’m just telling you what I’d do and what would be a hit with your sleepover buddy.”
Harry breathed out a laugh. Y/n could tell he was getting bashful. She wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was. She watched him for a few seconds before the waitress returned with their drinks.
A quick gulp of wine and she nudged at his shin with her shoe, “You wanna have a slumber party with me?”
Harry blinked and tilted his head, “What? You mean… Seriously?”
She shrugged, “Why not? Then next time someone asks if you’ve ever had a proper slumber party you can say that you have.”
He laughed loudly, his husky voice was like music to her ears. Pointing at her with his finger he grinned, “Now how I can argue with that? I mean,” he shook his head, a glint in his eye, “Every time someone asks me if I’ve been to a slumber party and I tell them I haven’t, it’s such a disappointment! The look on their faces when they realize my whole childhood was a sham…”
They both laughed, leaning in toward one another, tittering toward the edges of their stools.
Harry tilted his head, “Actually I think it sounds fun. You just name the day and I’ll be there.”
Y/n smiled at him. She knew it was crazy. Having a grown man at her place for a slumber party. Typically adults didn’t have those kinds of sleepovers – it was usually with the intent of something far more salacious. But she’d show him a good time, she thought, raising her glass toward his, “Deal.”
. . .
Y/n had her sofa bed pulled out and piled high with extra blankets and pillows. She had all her favorite snacks plus she ordered cheeseburgers and fries for the guest of the night. It was silly. Truly she hadn’t had a real slumber party in ages, but she couldn’t help but feel a little bit of excitement that she’d be hanging out with Harry all night. It was possible that her small crush on him was making her feel all giddy but she’d push down that feeling until he gave her any extenuating signals.
Because the truth was that they were both single, young adults and this was such an unlikely scenario. No one would look at this and say Oh how cute of these two grown adults hanging out in bed together for a sleepover. So innocent! No, she knew better. While maybe nothing would actually happen it certainly wouldn’t look innocent.
And of course, she did pick out the perfect pijama set. Something a little more flattering on her body but not too hey I really need to get laid tonight. It was a happy compromise. Cotton shorts and a button-up, matching short-sleeved top. This was just supposed to be a slumber party after all.
Right?
Besides, the little paper invitation she gave him on Monday morning told him to arrive in his sleepwear so she had to look the part. And not to toot her own horn but she made a very cute invitation just for him tucked into a pink envelope with a separate little response card that had space at the bottom for him to mark yes or no if he could come. It was a yes. Obviously.
When Harry finally arrived he was wearing a pair of grey sweats and a white t-shirt. And for some fucking bizarre reason he looked so much hotter than he did when he wore his well-fitted suits at work.
Because goddamn did his shirt somehow just hug his torso in all the right spots and it allowed her to take a good look at all tattoos on his arms that were normally hidden under brushed wool jackets or long-sleeved button-up shirts. She knew he had tattoos. She’d seen him roll up his sleeves a couple of times but she never wanted to be rude and stare for long.
And then the sweatpants, while loose in the legs, fit his waist and hips and…
“You okay?” Harry was still standing in the doorway with his backpack draped over his arm waiting to be invited in.
“Yeah, sorry. Not used to seeing you dressed down like this. Almost unrecognizable.”
Harry let out a soft laugh, his eyes crinkling as Y/n stepped aside to let him in, “Would you like to see my ID? Swear I’m the Harry Styles, the guy you invited over for chips, popcorn, and truth or dare. I’ve even got your invite somewhere in my bag…”
She breathed a laugh through her nose and watched him enter into her space, “Movies too. Oh, and I also ordered cheeseburgers. Remembered that you mentioned that.”
He seemed quite pleased with the burgers as she handed him the bag. She got those small ones, five to an order, “Thanks. Fries too, huh?” He reached into the bag and pulled out three crinkle-cut french fries then stuffed them into his mouth.
“So should we settle in and pick out a movie?” She gestured toward her couch.
Harry had seen the pull-out couch with heaps of pillows and blankets when he walked in. He knew that that would be where they’d be spending most of the evening. It was the glaring thing about the whole slumber party slash sleepover. That they’d be probably sleeping next to one another. As two young, healthy, attractive adults.
“Sure,” he nodded and waited for her to pick which side she was going to take before climbing in next to her, the thin mattress and metal frame giving way gently under his weight before he leaned back against a mountain of pillows, bag of burgers safe in his hands.
Y/n had a few video streaming services at the ready and they settled on a cheesy comedy from the late 90s before Y/n reached over to her coffee table and then lined up all the snacks between them.
They chatted a little, having both seen the movie already. Topics were anything from what their plans were for the rest of the weekend to what they’d eaten for lunch at work. And it was only a little awkward when they both reached into the bowl of M&M’s at the same time, fingers brushing together.
Harry moved his hand away, “Sorry. You go…”
Y/n grinned at him, scooping a handful of candy into her palm, and then sat up, adjusting her seating as she crossed her legs together, “Wanna do truth or dare? Pretend like we’re 15 again having a sleepover. Really get into the whole slumber party vibe, ya know?”
Harry dug out a few M&M’s and let out a chesty laugh, “If I’m 15 again we’re in big trouble.”
Y/n snorted a laugh, “Why? What do you mean?���
He shook his head, a wide grin on his face with deep set dimples carved into each cheek as he turned his head to look at her, “If this were happening when I was 15 I’d already be in the bathroom hyperventilating and probably trying to will away a boner after our hands touched in the M&M’s bowl.”
Y/n guffawed and threw her head back, nearly choking on her bite of chocolatey candies as Harry laughed with her. Honestly, it was the best icebreaker she could have asked for. Things had been kind of clunky between them up until that moment as they were still trying to navigate how to act around one another. And she knew he was teasing but the good belly laugh that she got from Harry’s story was exactly what they needed.
“Okay fine. We’ll just keep going about it as adults then. No fifteen-year-olds here tonight,” Y/n chuckled as she shoveled a few kernels of popcorn into her mouth.
Y/n kept her eyes on him as she chewed her mouthful, “So truth or dare?”
Harry cocked his head at her, “So the mood is right then? For truth or dare?”
Y/n’s brows furrowed, “The mood?”
“Yeah. You said it over drinks. Remember when you were telling me what the most important components are to a sleepover and you said you liked truth or dare if the mood was right.”
Nodding slowly, she thought back to what she’d said, “Yeah. I guess I did say that. And I mean… I think the mood’s right for a little truth or dare. Movie’s almost over and you just pretty much kicked us off with that truth.” A breathy laugh was pushed from her mouth.
She could tell Harry was mulling on another question as he bit the inside of his cheek, head tilting in agreement, “So that means it’s your turn. Truth or dare?”
Biting her lip as she pondered, she pressed her back into the soft pillows behind her, “Truth.”
Harry shifted to his side, long legs stretching the length of the mattress as he propped his head up in his hand, a pillow under his arm, “Have you ever kissed a co-worker before?”
Scoffing Y/n moved to her side, mimicking Harry’s position on her side, “No,” she grinned. It was true. She’d never once done anything with any of her coworkers. Having Harry over at her house was the closest she’d ever gotten to doing anything like that. “Now you. Truth or dare?”
His green eyes slid over her features, “Truth.”
She laughed to herself, trying to think of something funny, “How many stuffed animals do you own?”
Licking his lips he nodded, “Think maybe two? Gifts from my niece… Truth or dare?”
“Mmm… dare,” she giggled.
Harry lifted a brow, “Ahhh… feeling bold yeah? Okay… hmm…” He pursed his lips to the side as he considered the dare. “Read to me the last text you sent to anyone. And you have to show me to prove it was the last one. And it can’t be any texts you and me, cause that’s not fair.”
Y/n blinked. She wasn’t exactly sure what her last text was besides Harry. But she was slightly worried because if it was what she was thinking… lifting up her message app she scrolled down to the text thread below Harry’s and it was a text with her sister. Which was what she had been worried about. She gulped, hoping that the things she said about her “coworker” who was coming to stay with her weren’t the last things she and her sister texted about.
Puffing out a breath she covered up all the previous texts to show Harry the last text from her sister – God knows you need it. Sending you good vibes, sis ;)
Harry squinted as he looked at the message and pointed, “That’s to you. The dare was to show me the last text you sent to someone. Let’s see it…”
Feeling her neck heat up she angled the phone away from him and read what she’d sent her sister. And there was no mention of Harry but if he were even halfway decent at picking up clues he might be able to figure out what was being discussed prior.
She shook her head and looked up at him. She couldn’t believe she was about to show him what was on her screen. But a dare was a dare. What was the worst that could happen?
lol I doubt anything will happen but I wouldn’t turn him down. Got condoms just in case 😜 send all your good vibes my way
Harry’s brows squished together as he looked at the text and back to Y/n and then down again at the words on her screen. She saw his throat bob and she knew the look on his face. He fucking knew what that was. He had to know.
She had to look away. She pulled the phone down and killed the screen. The awkwardness between them thick and uncomfortable as she peeked back at him. The edge of his mouth was pulled upward in a smirk, “That’s to your sister?”
Nodding she blew out an exasperated breath, “Your turn. Truth or dare?”
Harry grinned as he positioned his knee closer to Y/n, his eyes still on hers, “Dare.”
Swallowing her embarrassment down the best she could she decided to ask him the same, “Now show me the last text you sent anyone besides me.”
Harry’s smartass grin told her all she needed to know. That his last text probably wasn’t nearly as risqué as hers.
And it wasn’t. Not even close.
You can have two pounds for free. I’ve got so many growing I can’t keep up. As long as you come to pick them up on Monday they’re yours.
“I have a bunch of zucchini growing in my garden,” Harry pulled the phone away and laid it down next to his hip. “Got a neighbor who wants some.”
Of course, his last text to anyone was about zucchini. Jesus, she was so far out of her depth.
He was still wearing that shit-eating grin as he said, “Truth or dare, Y/n?”
And the way he said her name, all slow and sexy-like had her insides heating up. Well, maybe she made up the sexy part but he was definitely teasing her. She could just feel it.
“Truth.”
She was sure she’d regret that. Truth or dare. It didn’t matter. She was still reeling from showing him her texts.
“Was that text about me?” Shit-eating grin in place as he asked. Fucker.
Y/n’s eyes grew wide dropping her mouth open in surprise. Of course, he was going to ask that. Of course!
“Oh come on, Harry…” she pleaded.
He lifted his brows and awarded her a larger grin with those cute indents scoring into his cheeks, “Them’s the rules, baby. You chose truth and now you have to be honest.”
Clearing her throat she sat up to her bottom and leaned forward so she didn’t have to look at him as she put her head in her hands and laughed in disbelief, “Jesus. Seriously?”
“Yep. Spill. Let’s hear it.”
“Okay. Fine. Yes. It was about you.”
Keeping her eyes on her lap she waited for a smug remark. Some kind of teasing reply but it was quiet. Slowly she turned to look back at him and he was still lying on his side, head in his palm as he watched her, his eyes fixed to hers.
She shrugged, “Your turn. Truth or dare?”
Harry flattened his lips and squinted at her before cocking his head, “Hold on… Really? That was about me?”
Sighing she rolled her eyes, “Yes. Sorry. I was… it was just funny… it was me joking around with my sister is all.”
He blinked and looked down at the space between them as he nodded, “Okay. I see. So you didn’t actually mean it?”
“Well… I guess… We were joking. Obviously, nothing has to happen. I would never expect that. I…” she breathed out exasperated.
“Obviously nothing has to happen. Did you want it to happen?” His pupils were pinned to hers again.
Opening her mouth she stopped herself for a moment. She knew her answer was yes but she didn’t want to come off like a creep. She hadn’t expected it and assumed it wouldn’t. But the truth remained; she hoped it would happen.
Deflating her posture she laid back to her side to face Harry, tucking a pillow into her chest, “The truth is that I think you’re attractive and I haven’t been with anyone in kind of a long time and… she knows that, my sister. So we were just… it was lighthearted but yeah I mean… without any expectations, cause I would never… I hope you know that. But I did think it would be nice.”
“Nice. Yeah. I agree. It would be nice. And just so you know,” he swung his head to look over his shoulder before looking back at her, “I brought condoms as well. You know… just in case.”
She was a bit stunned at that. Was he…
“Dare me to kiss you,” he grinned, irises dropping to her lips for a second before looking back into her eyes.
She laughed, “That’s not how the game works. The rules are you can’t–”
“Fuck the rules. Dare me to kiss you.”
Shaking her head with a wide smile stretched across her face she felt like her skin was pricking as her heartbeat picked up. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
Looking back into his eyes she inhaled deeply, “Fine. I dare you to kiss me.”
Harry’s smirk was unreal. The way he dragged his gaze over her face and down to her mouth was almost lewd, “Didn’t need to play truth or dare to get me to kiss you, Y/n,” he scooted in, grabbing the pillow she had tucked into her chest and tossing it away before he drew a hand up to her face, “You just needed to ask.”
She held her breath as he closed in slowly until it was as if all the tension in the room had popped and fizzled when his lips met hers.
He was so soft and gentle. Lips winding easily, carefully at first. And then she parted her lips more, kissing him back and letting her mouth press into his bottom lip before their tongues were meshed.
She moved her knee out to stabilize herself and knocked over the bowl of popcorn between them. Laughing into his mouth she gasped as she parted from him but he only reached for her again, placing his palm at the back of her head to pull her mouth back against his with a grunt from his chest as he pushed the bowl away and drove his arm underneath her side to keep her from getting too far.
Harry was softly moaning as his tongue worked its way into her mouth gently. It was clear he’d wanted to kiss her. That he liked it. And that notion made her head spin combined with the feel of his thumb traveling over her jaw. There was not going to be any stopping the momentum that had begun.
Well, except for when the bowl of M&M’s poured out against her leg. She had to push at him. As much as she would have loved to have kept making out, she would not have been able to enjoy melted chocolate on her legs or the bedsheets tucked around the mattress (think of the scrubbing she’d need to do!).
“Sorry,” she panted and looked down at the smashed pieces of popcorn and the chocolate candies strewn between them, “I’ve gotta pick this up. Our body heat will melt all these and it’s gonna be a big mess.”
Harry grinned, “Why don’t we just move this party to your bed for a little bit? Clean up later? The M&M’s won’t melt if we’re not laying on them.”
She laughed, already feeling overwhelmed and overheated from the kiss and now he was suggesting taking it to her bed? This was really happening, wasn’t it? She nodded and they both moved off the sofa sleeper to their feet, Harry following behind Y/n as she led him to her bedroom.
She already had her bedside lamp on. Bed made perfectly, everything tucked in and neat.
She turned to look at him and he stepped against her, palm splaying at her low back, “I dare you to get onto your bed and take your clothes off.”
A small laugh burst from her chest, “Oh, so now we’re just doing dares?”
He nodded, “Making up our own rules for this game. S’more fun this way.”
Letting go of her he watched as she stepped backward toward her bed and began to unbutton her nightshirt until it was shed from her body before she pushed her shorts down her legs. She was left in a pretty white bralette (something soft for bedtime) that stretched around her breasts and a pair of thin cotton panties that matched. She kneed up onto her bed and let her feet dangle off the edge and pointed, “Now I dare you to take off your clothes.”
He peeled his white t-shirt off, his hair mussing in the process. She watched with her lips parted at the gorgeous man stripping before her. Not only was he built exactly like what she dreamed of (tattoos, beefy, muscular, a touch soft, very masculine) but the boner tenting his sweats was hard not to home in on.
Harry stuck his fingers into the waistband and looked up at her, “M’not wearing any underwear, so be warned…”
She swallowed as the material lowered, belly button, happy trail, a bit of dark hair and then he pulled the stretchy waistband away from his body so his cock could push free and she was already clenching at just the sight as he removed his sweatpants, cock full and heavy between his strong thighs.
Jesus Christ.
Harry stepped forward, nudging himself between her knees and she leaned back to look up at him, “I dare you to take off the rest of this. Since I’m completely naked feels only fair.”
She bit her lip and looked down at his girthy dick. He was clearly not shy of his body, standing there like that, cock right in front of her. But why should he be shy when he looked like that?
Scooting back further into the bed she got up to her knees and pulled the bralette off first, feeling the heat of his gaze on her tits as she then slid her panties down her thighs. She wasn’t nearly as confident as Harry was as she quickly pulled at her top blanket and covered herself with a small laugh.
Harry stepped forward, one knee on the mattress before climbing in next to her, nosing at her cheek softly before his lips were connected to hers again. And she melted into him just like before. His mouth was magic or something because before she realized it, he’d pulled the blankets off her body and he had a big palm sliding up her thigh and over her hip, “Don’t cover up. So pretty. Knew you would be.”
She pushed her fingers into his thick wavey hair and felt her side hit the mattress as Harry pulled at her again, mouth still smeared against hers. He grabbed at her thigh, hitching it over his hip as he tucked in closer and it was warm and she could feel it. Feel him against her hip.
His giant hand smoothed against her bottom and up her spine until he was wrapping his long fingers around the back of her neck. Y/n nudged in closer, driving her hips forward until she was practically straddling him. So Harry took that as his cue to move to his back, taking her hips in his hands so she’d follow with him.
It had caught her off guard, the sudden change in position but her lips never stopped moving with his. Their kisses were wet and she could smell their saliva, and a touch of onion even from the burgers he’d eaten.
He guided her hips down, his thick cock hot under her thigh until she felt her pussy drag against warm skin at the base of his dick. A small gasp escaped her mouth as he pulled her up, letting her pussy glide up his length, “So wet already, Y/n…”
She was. It was embarrassing. Every inch of his shaft her pussy dragged against, coated him, wetted his skin. He kept pushing and pulling at her hips, using her slippery pussy like a soft wet toy he could run up and down his length.
Then she felt his fingers move around to her backside, digits sliding against her pussy as he licked into her mouth.
Gently she rolled against him and when she moved herself further down he pushed a fingertip inside, “Go on. Fuck yourself on my finger a little bit,” he whispered against her mouth.
He was filthy. She had no idea. He’d always been so sweet at work. So polite and respectful. But here he was reaching around her ass to get a finger inside of her cunt as she rubbed her pussy over his cock.
She panted into his mouth as she slid down around his finger, her clit smushed into his dick, slippery as she rolled up and down. But then he began to assist as he added another finger and began to fuck into her pussy, letting his digits curve into her the best he could from his angle. Slushy wet, she stopped moving her hips and parted from the kiss as she looked down at him. She could tell she was gushing all over his palm and probably his dick as she moaned.
“S’that feel good. You’re gettin’ my fingers all wet like it feels good.”
Nodding she gasped, “Yeah. Feels so good…”
Harry rutted up against her, his cock still pressed into her clit, and she panted, eyes still searing into his. She didn’t want to look away. She almost couldn’t believe he was in her bed fingering her like that.
“Your turn to dare me to do something. What do you want, Y/n?”
She moaned and closed her eyes. She was certain of what she wanted as she listened to the way his fingers gushed with each plunge into her.
“Fuck… dare you to… put on a condom.”
She popped her eyes open to peer down at him as he slid his fingers out of her, wiping her arousal on her ass, “They right here?” He moved his hand toward her bedside table, a knuckle tapping at the wood.
Climbing off of him she opened the drawer, “Yeah, a whole box. Hold on…”
Reaching over to pull out the condoms she felt Harry’s hands on her hips as he moved to sit up, then his lips were on her back, dotting warm kisses to her shoulder blades as she finally plucked a condom from the fresh box.
She watched him put the condom on and as expected, it didn’t cover his entire length. He was kind of a big guy. Well, maybe there was no kind of about it. Before today she had no idea he was packing like that. Though he always did come off as very confident and sure of himself.
She bit her lip as she watched him toss the wrapper away and then he kneed up to her, arm sliding to her back and carefully lowering her to the bed before spreading her legs apart as he fit himself there, sturdy thighs pushing against her soft ones.
“Gonna tell your sister her good vibes worked?” He smirked down at her, hands scouring her hips and tummy and then kneading softly at her tits.
Y/n laughed and reached a hand down to his knee before he pulled at her, making her thighs drape over his as he inched in closer.
“Hmm?” He was awfully teasing, she thought, grinning at her waiting for an answer.
“Probably,” she spit out in a laugh.
Harry gripped at her thighs, lifting her a bit more to fit her bum over his bent knees and she wanted to scream in embarrassment when she realized he was inspecting her sodden vulva. She’d gotten herself all tidied up for him, should anything like this happen, so at least she had that going for her.
He smoothed his thumb through her pussylips, spreading them apart, and softly blew out a breath, “That is very pretty. Think we get him in there?”
She rolled her eyes as she watched him wrap his palm around his base and lay his fat cock over her mons, the condomed-tip reaching to her belly button, maybe further past, “Well, it’s made for it, so I’m pretty sure–”
“What… your pussy’s made to fit around my cock?” A cocky dimpled smirk gave way to a laugh.
“You know what I meant. It’s meant to… like…” she breathed out a laugh.
“Oh, I know… just fucking with you, Y/n.”
He gazed at her as he reared back, painting his cockhead through her labia, up and down, a soft bump into her clit before he repeated, spreading her soft lips apart as he watched the way his crown smeared her arousal between her creases.
When she moaned and wiggled her hips he pointed himself right at her little muscle, nudging softly forward, opening it up for himself. And she felt that first push, the way his tip fit into her, spreading apart and then stretching to accommodate his circumference.
“Oh god…” she breathed as he slipped in halfway and then pulled back.
“Almost there,” he panted as he kept his eyes on where they were connected, pushing and pulling back until she was swallowing him whole, his cock enveloped in her soft, warm pussy.
When he’d buried in whole, he moaned and watched her face twist up in ecstasy. Her lips were dropped open and her neck stretched long as she grasped onto the forearm of the hand he had gripping her waist.
Slowly he began to thrust, viscous liquid seeping from her pussy and sticking to his shaft. It was filthy. She was so wet that every time he bottomed out there was a splat and a plap sounding between them.
She let out a deep moan and her lips curled up, humid breath escaping her mouth as she felt him driving into her guts. He was taking it easy. Languidly fucking into her with wet claps every time he plunged in.
When her cunt was taking him easier and she was dripping down to her ass he moved in a little harder, faster. Angling himself over her, a palm down on the mattress so he could work into her with more gusto.
“Ah! Harry…” she squeaked at the stronger thrusts and clung onto his lats. He was panting, lips parted and pink, a curl falling over his forehead as he plowed into her splooshing pussy.
“Fuck you’re wet. Pussy is gushing, Y/n…”
Her brows pushed together as she gasped, her body knocked upward every time his hips met hers making her tits bounce. Harry didn’t know where to keep his focus. He loved watching his cock disappear into her hole but he kind of liked being right over her so he could see her face crinkle up every time he bottomed out and then her pretty breasts sway up and down. Or maybe he’d like to fuck her from behind, watch her ass jiggle as he pounded into her.
“Mmm… fuck that’s big!”
Harry groaned, “Yeah? Sure know how to sweet talk a man don’t you, pretty? S’hurt?”
She watched his face, a lusty grin, droopy eyelids as he continued muscling his way in deep.
She hissed when he bucked in, as if he was showing off just how deep he could push in and she coughed out, “Mmm… a little!”
Harry was going to lose his mind with her if she kept squeaking out moans and splatting around his cock like she was but he would be a gentleman and pull back a touch. Slowing down a little he sat up and moved his hand between them, smushing his thumb into her clit, which was so sticky wet even that swished and slid under the pad of his digit.
“Yessss…” she breathed out before murmuring on about how good it felt. “Oh fuck, that’s it. Oh god… please don’t stop… Harry, fuck, yes…”
The clit. The magical little nob that worked wonders as long as the man knew where to find it. Clearly, Harry knew right where it was. Knew how to circle over it, pressing against it just right. Knew how to fuck into her as well. Sliding his length through her vaginal walls, spreading her open, and grazing against her gummy little spot on the inside that had her buzzing and liquifying for him.
He watched her whine and squirm under him, loving how she was so into it. God that was an ego boost, “Like that, Y/n? Gonna come for me? Yeah?”
Her ears were already ringing when she lost herself, gripping around him and crying out as her orgasm washed through her tummy. Harry’s cock made her feel so full, so incredibly stuffed to the brim that it weighed her down and she could hardly move as he bulldozed into her, the pad of his thick thumb smushing fast circles over her throbbing nub.
Fucking her through it he gasped at how she spasmed and milked around him, her pussy trying to siphon his come right through his condom. But Harry wouldn’t come just yet. He had something to prove. Wanted to make a show of his prowess and give her something to tell her sister about.
So when she was finally calmed and her pussy wasn’t clamping around him like a vice grip he slid his hand under her head and kissed her gently, speaking low and soft against her lips, “Gonna have you flip over, okay? Just need a little more yeah?”
When he parted from the kiss she blinked up at him, fluttering lashes and out of breath, “You didn’t come?”
He shook his head, pulling himself out, gently before he placed his hands on her hips, “Not yet. I will soon, though. M’right on the edge. Won’t take me long.”
She rolled to her side as he lifted her hips and helped her get to her tummy. She felt his hands on her ass, squeezing and rubbing each meaty globe in his big palms. Then he was straddling her thighs as he spread her gently and she felt him push his thick tip back into her pussy, sharp and hot. It was tighter, felt a lot fuller like that as he began driving in deep and then pulling out to his tip, before plowing back into the hilt.
His moans grew louder and, even he could admit, sounded quite whiny, pathetic. He was shaking as he watched his dick spread her in half, her soft ass jiggling as he smacked into her, skin patting, his cock leaking precum steadily into his condom.
He hissed when it felt too good. His balls squeezing and his fat dick throbbing inside of her. He thrusted forward, landing a palm down next to her shoulder, his chest pressed into her back as he rutted himself in, tucking his cock through her insides and puffed out a hot groan into her ear, “Fuck you feel good. Gonna make me come, baby…”
She moaned and nodded, “Come for me, Harry…”
He might have held out for another thirty seconds, possibly a minute longer but her breathy words, all sultry and pleading had him pumping into his condom in an instant. He gargled on a moan and squeezed his eyes closed as he buried in and stilled his hips, ass flexing so he could push in further if it were possible.
Y/n felt him crushing her back as he collapsed over her, panted breaths in her ear, cock still throbbing in the aftermath of his orgasm.
She didn’t mind it. Liked his weight on her like that. Enjoyed the way he seemed just as fucked out as she was. She could even feel his heart pounding in his chest against her back.
With a moan, she turned her head and nuzzled her face into her blanket with her eyes closed. She’d fall asleep that way if he couldn’t get up. It was quite warm and comforting. Like a weighted blanket draped over her body. And maybe she did doze off for a bit because when she opened her eyes she felt him moving off of her before he crashed down next to her, the springs in her mattress bouncing under him.
Pushing herself to lie on her side she ran a hand over his chest and he turned to look at her, a dopey smile on his flushed face, “So this is what happens at slumber parties, huh? I’ve really missed out all these years.”
She giggled and nodded into her pillow, “Yep. They’re just like big orgies really. Normally there are more than just two people. It’s how I lost my virginity.”
Harry sputtered a laugh, “Really?”
Y/n couldn’t help but to cackle loudly and roll to her back, the biggest grin on her face, “No, silly. I was teasing.”
He slid a hand over her tummy, “So this isn’t what happens at slumber parties, then?” She could hear the cheeky smile in his voice.
She turned her head to look at him, “Well, not usually. But I think we made our own rules for this one today.”
“Yeah? Well, I have to give it to you. You throw a hell of a party. I’m certain this is gonna go down as the best sleepover in history.”
. . .
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NASTY GIRL!
— pairings: oscar piastri x reader.
— faceclaim: rihanna <3
— summary: slut, whore, bitch - all the words that have been used to describe famous party girl yn yln. so when you show up to the grid with a shiny diamond ring on your hand, people are trying to figure out just who would choose you.
— warnings: misogynistic language and attitudes about yn’s behaviour and actions. not from any of the main characters in this au though!
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
enews: y/n may not be releasing new music anytime soon, but she’s definitely making waves—this time under the sea. the party girl was spotted scuba diving in italy with her usual mixed-gender crew, proving once again that vacationing is her real full-time job. 🎶 or should we say, lack of? #priorities #wherethemusicat?
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badgalyn: y’all stay on my dick 😭 hop off.
-> user1: LMFAOOOOOO
user2: can a girl not holiday now?
user3: idgaf if she’s partying. she’s been working since she was 16. have a mimosa for me babe <3
-> user4: bffr. she just sings into a mic for a living. that’s not a job.
-> user5: every job is a job. and every job has it’s downsides. she’s been touring every year since her debut almost ten years ago. let her breathe 😭
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
liked by ynupdates, ferrarigirlies and 2,737,839 others.
f1gossip: look who’s in the ferrari garage today! the singer/songwriter yn on break from… well, her eternal break. and what is that we saw on her hot girl walk through the paddock? a diamond ring? oop 🙊
view all 277,828 comments
user1: LEAVE YN ALONE !1!1!1!111
user2: she’s engaged to charles and they’re gonna have the most gorgeous kids!!
-> user3: um… could be carlos?
-> user2: no 😜
user3: nahhhhh no way she’s engaged 😷
-> user4: like c’mon. it’s probably a rich ceo from behind the scenes. no self respecting f1 driver would want HER 😒
-> user5: like who would actually marry her?
-> user6: u sound so miserable 😭
-> user7: like what fucking weirdos LMFAO 😭 focus on yourselves.
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
liked by ynsgirlie, oscarspiastri and 1,108,890 others.
ham1ltonshaderoom: singer/songwriter yn was invited by ferrari to watch the baku grand prix but was seen relaxing in the mclaren garage after a photo op. the moment went viral on social media, what do you think of yn’s disappearance ham1ltons?
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user1: idgaf. she can do whatever she wants.
user2: she’s so fucking ungrateful my god.
user3: love her!!!!
user4: who cares?? i just wanna know who put that ring on her finger???
user5: RELEASE THE ALBUM @/BADGALYN
-> user6: RELEASE THAT SHIT NOWW
badgalyn: is it illegal for me to move from place to place now? like damn 😭
-> user7: they stay on ur ass like
-> user8: WHO DOES THAT BIG FAT RING BELONG TO ?!!?!!
-> user8: I KNOW U SEE THIS SHIT
-> user8: ANSWER ME 😭😭
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
liked by landonorris, badgalyn and 1,090,123 others.
f1: oscar piastri is your ‘24 baku grand prix winner!
view all 80,828 comments
user1: OSCAR GIRLIES EVERYWHERE CHEERED
user2: YASSSSSSSS
user3: SO PROUD WOOOOOOO
user4: YN WHAT ARE U DOING HERE 😭
nicolepiastri: that’s my son btw 🍾🥂
user5: DID Y’ALL SEE YN RUNNING OUT TO KISS OSCAR?????
-> user6: WHAT?2&2&
-> user7: GIRL IT’S ALL OVER TWT
-> user7: https://twitter.com/ynsgirl/status/827373832992125
-> user8: oh… they in love frfr
-> user9: SICK OMG SICK SICK SICK
-> user9: HATE SEEING HAPPY COUPLES
-> user10: the way he carries her?? ims ick
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
INTERVIEW W/ YN YLN.
by james collins.
she walks into the room like she owns it, a diamond-studded one of a kind necklace hanging off her neck, and a confidence that can only come from being at the top of her game. y/n yln is more than just a household name at this point—she’s a cultural phenomenon. whether it's topping the charts, turning heads with her bold fashion choices, or making headlines for her unapologetic lifestyle, y/n is everywhere.
GQ: let’s get right into it. you’ve never been one to shy away from controversy. you've been called everything from a "party girl" to… well, a lot worse. how do you deal with the constant slut-shaming?
Y/N: (laughs) i mean, what can i say? people are gonna talk whether i’m out at the club or chilling at home in sweats. they see me having fun, and they can’t handle it. honestly, i don’t care. i love my life. if i want to party, i’ll party. if i want to make a million-dollar deal the next morning, i’ll do that too. being called a slut? whatever. it’s just a word. a word can’t hold me down.
GQ: that’s the attitude that’s made you so iconic. but it seems like the more successful you get, the more people try to tear you down. how do you stay grounded amidst all the noise?
Y/N: honestly, it’s all about knowing who you are. like, i know what i bring to the table. the opinions of strangers on the internet? they don’t pay my bills, they don’t run my career. i’ve got a solid circle around me—my family, my team, my people. they keep it real with me, and that’s what matters. plus, i’ve got my own inner voice. if i let every hater get to me, i wouldn’t be where i am now. you gotta block out the noise and keep doing you.
GQ: you’re definitely doing that, and it shows in your music. speaking of which, your last album broke records and you’ve hinted that the next one’s even more personal. what’s the inspiration behind it?
Y/N: oh, this next album is gonna hit different. it’s like a reflection of the last few years—everything i’ve been through, the highs, the lows, and the lessons. i’ve been writing a lot about love, discovery, identity, and power. there’s a track on there that’s straight-up about how people have tried to label me my whole life, and i’m just like, ‘f**k that, i define me.’ there’s some deep stuff in there, but also bangers that’ll make you wanna dance your ass off. it’s a mix, just like me.
GQ: there’s been a lot of talk about one specific song that fans think is about your alleged relationship. care to spill the tea on that?
YN: (smiling) oh, you mean *that* song? (laughs) yeah, people are good at picking up on things. look, i’m not saying too much, but let’s just say it’s a vibe. relationships—especially when you’re in the spotlight—are complicated, and i’m not afraid to write about it. but you’ll have to listen to the track to get the full story.
GQ: fair enough. now, let’s address the gorgeous and expensive elephant in the room—that ring. fans have been speculating non-stop about your engagement. can you confirm or deny the rumors?
Y/N: (grinning) ah, you’re nosy! but yeah, the ring’s real, and it’s from someone very special. look, i’ve never been one to hide anything, but i also love keeping certain things close to my chest. all i’m saying is… things are good. real good.
GQ: the internet’s been trying to piece it together, especially after you were spotted at the mclaren paddock with oscar piastri. any comments on that?
YN: (laughs) you are really trying to get me in trouble! look, i support my friends, i show up for them, and they show up for me. that’s all i’m saying for now. but if people want to talk, let them talk. i’m busy living my life.
GQ: fair enough! last question—what’s next for y/n yln?
Y/N: taking over the world, obviously. (laughs) but for real, the album is coming soon, and i’m working on some new projects that’ll surprise a lot of people. i’m not just a singer, i’m building an empire. music, fashion, business—it’s all on the horizon. so, buckle up, we’re just getting started.
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
tagged: @/badgalyn
liked by ynswifey, ham1ltonshaderoom and 4,938,983 others
gqmagazine: from island girl to international superstar: our newest covergirl yn yln talks slutshaming, her upcoming album and wedding rumours in this months gq magazine. link in bio! 🔗
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oscarpiastri: real good is an understatement 😉
-> user1: WHAT)2&/@/
-> user2: yn being all cryptic and oscar straight up like ‘yeah we together and what about it?’
-> user3: OSCAR HELLO?2&2
landonorris: am i invited to the wedding?
-> landonorris: hellloooo @/badgalyn????
-> landonorris: i’m sosoooooo drunk @/badgalyn
-> landonorris: YYYYYNNNNNNN 😭😭😭
user4: she’s such a bad bitch idgaf
-> user5: ‘i love my life. if i want to party, i’ll party. if i want to make a million-dollar deal the next morning, i’ll do that too. being called a slut? whatever. it’s just a word. a word can’t hold me down.’ — AS YOU SHOULD QUEEN!!!!
user6: y’all … oscaryn is growing on me fr
user7: this is so wattpad trope i love this for them
user8: YN RELEASE THE ALBUM!!!!
user9: MIC DROP FROM OSCAR YUP YUP!
user10: she’s so gorgeous… her face card omg
user11: Y/N YLN AND OSCAR FREAKING PIASTRI ARE ENGAGED AND CONFIRMED IT IN THE MOST CASUAL WAY?? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION TODAY?!?!
user12: oscaryn engagement. yn6 being in the works. more pics of yn’s face card. ynnies, we won today.
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
— oscar taglist: @papayadays @assholeinatrenchcoat @mxdi0 @lillysbigwilly @liberty-barnes @yelenasloverrrrr @hiireadstuff @starz4me1 @mvk1ma @lozzamez3 @dear-fifi @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @styl1shl1v @whyamireadingthis @halleest @s4misbetter @llando4norris @chezmardybum @ivyvlair @isthatacandle @luvsforme @fabulouskk01 @littlegrapejuice @anotherblackreader @laur20a23 @greantii @sumlovesjude @sageispunk @mindless-rock @mehrmonga @ravisinghs-wife @six-call @notyaslol @1-800-love-me @nzygftoji @dilflover44 @ilivbullyingjeongin (all works taglist in comments/reblog. if you see yourself tagged and you don’t want to be or you don’t see yourself tagged and you want to be — refill out the taglist in my pinned post! <3)
────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──────
#jayde’s works ☆#formula one x reader#formula 1 x black!reader#formula one x black reader#formula one smau#f1 scenario#f1 x black!reader#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x black reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri imagine#op81 x y/n#op81 smau#op81 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula one imagine#f1 smau
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Day 2 Meeting a new family member and Wire
“My brother has moved to Gotham and I intend to visit them tonight as Robin.” Damian announced as everyone began to eat dinner.
“You have. A brother?” Tim haltingly asked as he looked at Damian.
“Tt. That is what I said. I advise not attempting to contact him unless he invites you into his home.”
“Damian. Why didn’t you tell me you had a brother?” Bruce asked.
“It was irrelevant. Danyal is older than me and had been deemed a failure by the time Mother and Grandfather decided to make me. I had been under the impression that he had been disposed of. In a way, I suppose he was, seeing as he was placed in the hands of some scientists who worked for the league.”
“But he’s back. Do you know what he wants?” Tim asked as Bruce disassociated.
“He would not go into detail but it seems that the scientists who raised him have found a purer and more radioactive Lazarus water. It is why I am meeting him tonight so he can turn over the more sensitive information without the league hearing about it.”
“Damian.” Bruce started before rethinking what he was going to say. “I would like to come with. He may be your brother but he is also an unknown.”
“I am aware Father. That is why I am telling you now. You cannot come with me but I will stay in contact and keep the com channel open throughout the entire exchange.”
“I would still prefer”
“Father. You will not come with. Danyal has expressly forbade you from meeting him.”
“That makes this even more suspicious! If not me then at least bring Dick with you.”
“Richard is in Bloodhaven and will not be able to get here in a timely manner. I am going alone.” Damian said before standing up and walking off.
“Damian!”
“Give it a rest B. He’s on a mission and I have a feeling he’ll go alone no mater what you say. If anything we could try to tail him but I have a feeling he’ll be on the lookout for that.”
“Hn.”
👻🦇👻🦇
“Akhi. You have fortified this place well.” Damian complimented as he walked into the office of the warehouse where Danny had made his base. It had been years since Danny had looked into the child that was meant to replace him after he failed one too many missions for Grandfather's liking. But to see that his little brother had managed to escape the league made Danny’s core hum happily.
“Thank you, Dams. But we aren’t here for pleasantries.” Danny said as he walked over to the single desk in the room and pulled a thick file out of one of the drawers. “In here is a brief rundown of the Fenton's research as well as a law that has recently passed that is in violation of”
Before Danny could finish talking there was a loud crash and a string of expletives.
“What the fuck! Who puts two wire traps mere inches from each other!” The voice shouted before the sound of a body hitting the floor. A few moments later the voice started yelling again as they fell into another trap.
“A friend of yours Dams?” Danny asked while he watched the door.
“A member of our family. Unfortunately. I had told Father not to come and I was hoping the fact that it was in Crime Allie would discourage Drake. I had not counted on Father getting Todd involved.” Damian sighed before walking over to the folder.
“As long as he does not wake up the littles I could care less. Perhaps we should help him out?” Danny asked. Not noticing Damian’s head snapping up to stare at him.
“Littles? You did not inform me of anyone else.”
“Hm. Long story short? You are an uncle to two little ones.”
“ALL RIGHT! WHO SET UP ALL THOSE… Demon brat. I should have known.” Red Hood said as he barged into the office. Causing twin crys to echo from a door on the opposite side of the main door. “Are those?”
“Yes, and your entrance has just woken up my kids. Dams? I have also left a number in the folder if you need to contact me. I will be off now.” Danny said as he began to walk towards the door the cries were coming from.
“There is a family brunch every Wednesday at ten in the morning. I request you to be there so that I can meet the new members of our family. Father would also like to meet you.” Damian said while ignoring Jason’s stuttering.
“I will think about it. Until next time Dams.” Danny replied before disappearing through the door.
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