#the way tags work here is simultaneously so good and so bad for me

[liquifiedfurby]

literally giggling and kicking my feet rn from researching birds.

[cherubfae]

Can you write Alastor x a Reader who works in radio? I don't think Alastor would let them on air since he doesn't seem the type to have a co host to me but maybe he'd have a intern who gets him coffee or a script writer.

Good To Be Back On the Air || Alastor x reader

tags: gn!sinner!reader (described to have horns but is an otherwise ambiguous demon!!), fluff, pre-established relationship, mentions of death, true crime, vox being vox lmao, jealous alastor, blood/bloody play (sorta??), Valentino is his own warning (threats of SA but nothing happens), mentions of injuries and being kidnapped (use of chloroform), implied VoxVal

a/n: I hope you enjoy!! This got a bit long!

Much like Alastor's life before he died, you were also quite the popular radio host for your time. Engaging, funny, and respectable. Your audience loved tuning in the early hours of the morning to you recanting the strange occurrences of the multiple killings of men from the late 1920s until that stream suddenly stopped during the year 1933 within New Orleans, Louisiana.

True crime has always been your passion, in life and in death. You certainly didn't think you'd end up in Hell for taking the life of someone trying to mug you on the street. A tall, masked man who saw to it that you'd never see the light of day again. A couple gunshot wounds to your abdomen proved effective as you rest against the wall, bleeding out onto the concrete with your soon-to-be killer lying facedown and dead mere feet from you. Killed by the very thing you sought to bring awareness towards. Quite poetic in a way.

As your gaze clouds and vision becomes unfocused, you look up at the stars. The ares around you was beautiful. It was one of your favorite parts of town, even your death wouldn't taint the beauty of the stretching oak and maple trees reaching tall towards the skies. The faint sound of smooth jazz playing from the record shop only a few paces away mixing with the swirling scent of coffee. At least you were dying in a place that you loved.

Now, here you are. In Hell. Doomed to total damnation for all fucking eternity. You'd been down here for a couple months, taking up residence near Cannibal Town, yet still unsure of what to make of all the carnage, debauchery, and depravity. You didn't think you belonged in Hell, even if you took the life that simultaneously extinguished your own.

"What's wrong, dearie? I've known you to be quiet but today you are exceptionally so." Mused Rosie, her gentle tone pulling you out of your reverie. You glanced down at your tea, sighing.

Leaning your cheek against your palm, you meet her charcoal-black eyes. Genuine concern etched onto her politely beautiful face. "I'm just feeling lost is all, I guess. I told you how I ended up in Hell, right?" Solemnly, Rosie nods.

Placing down her tea cup, Rosie wiggles towards you a bit. "Maybe you just need to find that old spark again! Something that roused you when you were alive! I have a friend who was a radio host, same as you. He may be able to have a job for you! Alastor is as charming as they come!" She grins, her mouth full of pointed teeth on full display.

Your brow quirks. "Alastor? The Radio Demon?" Rosie nods, excitedly. Alastor had been the prolific serial killer that haunted New Orleans back in the 1920s. It felt weird that the main man-- subject, you studied in life would soon be your acquaintance and potential boss in death. You'd heard many hushed tales about the aforementioned Radio Demon dealing in bartered souls and how he wreaked havoc against his fellow Overlords overnight. He definitely seemed like the kind of demon you didn't want to make light of, or worse, be on his bad side.

"He's a quirky one, for sure, but don't listen to all those rumors and gossip!" Rosie waves her hand with a laugh. "Alastor is still a gentleman and I'm sure he'd be delighted to offer you a job! Maybe you can intern for him? Besides! If he's ever rude to you, ol' Rosie will kick him in the shins! I'll wear my extra-pointy boots!" She giggles, holding your hands in hers. "You'll be in good hands, my dear! I'll let Alastor know you're coming right away!"

Staring down at the neatly folded paper in your hand, you double and triple check the address scrawled in neat calligraphy.

Hazbin Hotel.

Was it normal for a former serial killer slash radio host to become a hotelier that's trying to rehabilitate sinners?

With a shrug, you made your way up the incline taking note of the rather ominous looking radio tower jutting out from the far-right side of the hotel. A sign displaying the words on-air was currently unlit and it looked quite dark inside from what you could see from the ground. Perhaps the great Alastor wasn't at home.

Knocking on the front door, you're greeted by a tall, deer-like demon with two-toned hair and sharp yellow teeth dressed in a dapper red-pinstripe suit complete with a microphone-like cane. Scarlet eyes stare down at you like a lion watching a gazelle. You feel utterly and completely exposed, like he's peeling back your every layer, surveying you, before he even said a single word.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, my dear! Quite a pleasure! You must be the little darling that dear Rosie sent, yes?" Alastor places his hand on your lower back, guiding you past the hotel's front doors and into the welcoming comfort of the establishment's front lobby and reception area. "This is a place where wayward sinners such as yourself can find peace and be led on the path of redemption to ascend to Heaven by Hell's very own princess, Charlie Morningstar!"

On queue, a blonde-haired girl sprints up to you squealing and flailing her arms a bit. She takes her hands in yours and offers you a big, delighted smile. You like her immediately. "Oh, my gosh! Welcome, welcome to Hazbin Hotel! I see you've met our gracious host Alastor! He's mentioned that you're going to be interning for him-- how exciting! We are so thankful to have you!"

To think, all those months ago had been the start of your journey with your friends. You had felt so out of place in Hell, in your new skin, uncomfortable with the weight of sharp horns protruding your skin and the strength of your clawed hands. You were quite pleasantly surprised at what you could withstand now as a demon.

With the attention directed back at him, Alastor grins with a whine of radio static. It was the equivalent of a lazy smirk with his half-lidded scarlet eyes taking you in one more, searching for any potential risks you may pose though you didn't intend any of that sort. You felt your skin begin to heat the longer his gaze remained on you, and hesitantly break the eye contact with the demon in favor of Charlie, who has been excitedly talking about all of the hotel's features.

"I brought your coffee, sir." Alastor hums out a soft 'thank you' yet continues to fiddle with the buttons and tracks on his console, not raising his head to look at you. "Rosie gave me some venison for you. She said aid it's your favorite when it's fresh and raw." Placing Alastor's simple black coffee on a small side table, you revere your boss with a fond expression. Rosie had been truthful she said he was the charming sort. There certainly was an air of respectability about him that men lacked from your time.

"Our dear Rosie is certainly a clever one, and she is quite correct. There is no better way to enjoy meat than having it served fresh. Preferably off the bone but this will do." Alastor tilts his head, turning to the side to regale you from the corner of his eyes. Those damn beautiful scarlet gems. "Something the matter, my dear?" Alastor's voice is a soft crackle.

Stumbling in surprise, you wrack your brain for a plausible answer. When you find none, you shake your head from side to side cursing the heat that sets your cheeks ablaze.

Alastor smirks, standing from his stool and approaches you. He grasps your chin between his thumb and forefinger; his claw lightly dragging across your lower lip. Blood beads up following the path his claw created. He swipes it up, licking it in front of you.

"Tasty," Alastor grins, leaning down and bumping his nose into yours. "As I said, meat is best when fresh." He squeezes your cheek lightly, chuckling at the exudes into his palm. "If I wasn't certain, I'd say you have a little crush on me, hmm?" He turns his back to you, those damned scarlet eyes that see straight through your soul strike you where you stand. "That'll be all now, dearest. Thank you for your time and your blood."

You couldn't get out of there fast enough. You weren't afraid of him, no, you were more scared of kissing him now more than ever. A fantasy of both of you pressed tight to one another with mouths soaked in blood would be all you can think of for hours.

Whatever was going on between you and Alastor continued on much like a game of cat and mouse only he seemed to be going out of his way more and more to fluster you, saying things that would catch you off guard.

"I don't think of myself as much of a man who desires a relationship beyond friends and family, but cohabitating with you as lifelong partners does sound desirable."

"Hmm, tell me. Are your horns sensitive?" His breath ghosts then one day, causing you to shriek and cover them. You pout, turning your head to glare at him. Alastor's grin only seemed to stretch further. "Only teasing, darling, no need to get so uppity."

It was a slow evening, Alastor had sent you off on another errand. There was a sense of apprehension worrying his brow, glancing at the analog clock. The hour hand strikes the 3am mark. He'd sent you off almost an hour and a half ago, so where were you?

Interference crackles onto his radio, Alastor hissing as the feedback screeches. With ears pinned back, his eyes narrowed further when a familiar voice crosses.

"Ugh, I will never understand why thr fuck you use this shit, Alastor." Groaned Vox. "Anyway, I got your cute assistant here. You should see them, shaking like a leaf." The radio glitches in tune with Vox's laughter. "Valentino here has been itching for a new plaything, doesn't that sound good, sweetheart? Maybe we can broadcast that for all of Hell to see, right Al--"

Smash. Alastor's fist smashes through the radio cutting off Vox's boastful rant.

On the other side of the city, Vox blinks in confusion. "I lost the radio signal? Oh, fuck, God this shit is so old." He sighs, leaning back in his chair. Spinning around, he gives you a wry smirk. "Guess we'll see if the Great Alastor comes to rescue his lost pup, hmm?"

Glowering at him, left bound and gagged, sitting on the cold, hard floor. Valentino gives a harsh tug on your hair, your teeth sinking into the cotton gag shoved in your mouth, a muffled grunt leaving you.

An electric feeling in the air has your hair rising. Vox and Valentino share a confused look. A large fist blasts inside of the V Tower, claws sharp as they did through the metal like it was butter.

"Oh, fuck, it's Alastor!" Vox shrieks, scrambling to get away from the broken window. A second fist smashes through sending Vox into the opposing wall with a deep thud. Valentino runs to his friend's aid, helping him up.

"Well, this is what you wanted, honey."

Vox groans in protest. "I know."

Green electricity crackles, a dark shadow pooling into the room and with a shriek, manifests into Alastor.

Paying the two no mind, Alastor crosses the threshold and kneels down before you. His clawed fingers are gentle as he removes the gag around your bruised mouth. "Sorry it took me so long, mon cour." A tentacle bursts through his back, spiraling directly into Vox and Valentino, sending the two into the neighboring room with a loud crash.

Scooping you into his arms, Alastor calmly walks through to the next room, his hand cupping the back of your head. "Rest." He regards the other two males with a snarling crackle.

"If I didn't have more important matters to attend to, I would eviscerate you two gents. Touch what is mine again and I'll broadcast your fucking screams all over Hell." Alastor hums, exiting V Tower.

"Holy shit! Did you see?? He finally sees me as his rival!" Vox cheers, tossing both arms into the air in celebration.

"This may sting, but I trust that you can handle it." Alastor says, rubbing off the blood from your brow with a cotton ball doused in isopropyl alcohol. Wincing softly, you take the moment to look at him closely. You'd never seen Alastor so disheveled. Even with dealing with enemies, he was always composed. But, tonight, he had been anything but the picture of composure. He looked positively feral.

Valentino sighs, "Honey, you need psychiatric help."

"Is there something about my face you find interesting, dearest?"

Squeaking, your face flushes, shaking your arms frantically. Gasping you quickly place a hand to your ribs. Guess they really did fracture something when they knocked you out.

Alastor stills your hands with his own. "Easy now, pet. You're in no state to be moving around like an interpretive mime. I was only teasing you, my dearest. You had me worried tonight."

Hanging your head low, you turn your gaze away. "I'm sorry, Alastor. I don't know how they got the drop on me. I was walking home and smelled something odd--," you gasped in realization. "Chloroform. It had to be."

Alastor growled tensely at that. He tied the bandage around your arm and with a snap of his fingers the medical kit disappeared and a serving tray appeared carrying a kettle full of hot chocolate and a staple 1920s dessert: pound cake. This one was drizzled with a bitter chocolate and filled with strawberries.

Alastor takes your hand and gently kisses your knuckles. "Care to join me for a treat?" His tone was a touch more gentle than it had been a heartbeat ago. You smile, nodding eagerly. He grins and begins to cut the cake, serving you first. "One more thing."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

Softly, Alastor kisses your cheek. It was the lightest of touches and over as soon as it happened. He busies himself by pouring two mugs of steaming hot chocolate, the apples of his cheeks were a rosy hue.

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

between the lines

↖ navigation: seventeen masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: dormmate! woozi x gn! reader

↬ tags: bringing the 96 liners into this because i can, pining + longing, love is blind yada yada <3, quite wholesome towards the end

summary: through unspoken thoughts and harmless meddling, both you and jihoon get caught in the midst of your friends playful matchmaking

word count: 1.1k words

a/n: i posted it a whole day later ,, i thought today was the 1st of august… ㅠㅠ

jihoon wanted to get close to you. but the only thing stopping him was just that he was bad at initiating anything, especially when it came to things concerning you. unlike his friends who seemed to so easily befriended you. he sadly thinks that his love language might just be existing.

soonyoung displayed his affections with physical banter, oftentimes grabbing you and roughing you up playfully. you didn't mind it one bit, but jihoon did when his chest tightened at the sight of you leaning against soonyoung almost willingly as the male scrolls through his phone and shows it to you. or when you linked arms with soonyoung as the two of you strolled, leaving jihoon trailing behind.

the ever so brotherly junhwi was like a big sibling figure: upon your request, jun always never hesitated to do anything for you within reason. acts of service was something jun excelled at; on the other hand jihoon's dejection simmered beneath his skin when you walked past him towards jun, asking for his help even though jihoon could have done it too.

you sought wonwoo to spend time together. every time he thought of asking you to do passive things together, you had claimed to be spending time with wonwoo instead. wonwoo and you clicked because of the games you two played, but outside of gaming you two also do school work together in comfortable silence.

in conclusion, he's bad at expressing his feelings that he wanted to be with you. he found it confusing himself too, not being able to put a feeling as to why he always desired to spend time with you, to hold your hand, to do things for you.

funny thing was that, his friends knew about his way-too-obvious crush, and have been devising so many ways for you two to be alone together. call it brothers for brothers, or something.

jihoon zones back into the present: it was a movie night after finals and you had suggested to host a sleepover with the rest of them. wonwoo lightly bumps shoulders with jihoon; a curt nod, and a small grin.

junhwi unpacks all the food and exclaims in displeasure (jihoon thinks it was a bit too much), "we didn't get the drinks!" sooyoung makes a show of sighing (a little too loudly), "dang i was just getting thirsty for some cola..."

"i can go get them!" you offered unknowingly and jihoon perked up. his three friends looked at each other, as if their brains were firing off signals simultaneously and jihoon immediately claims, "i'll go down too, you guys can set up the area."

"yeah that would be good. we aren't too familiar with the neighborhood here." wonwoo adds on, sealing the deal. (jihoon never thought he'd see the stoic wonwoo trying his best to fight off a playful smirk)

with a recycle bag slung on jihoon's shoulder, the two of you headed out as the evening sun started to dip. "i'm glad finals are over." you light-heartedly started the conversation, beaming a little when jihoon reciprocates with his shy smile, "me too. it's been a while since we last saw them too."

silence blanketed you two again, and jihoon started getting fidgety as the convenience store emerged as both of you turned left. you glanced at the male, "jihoon, do you have something to say to me?" his shocked expression betrayed him with a mere statement from you.

you soften your eyes, "is this about the laundry? if it is, then i'm sorry, i knew it was my responsibility and i've been just so cooped up with all the tests and everything, and i know that you're a stickler for hygiene and i--" jihoon notices a whizzing cyclists pedaling downslope and immediately drags you towards him, "watch it!"

you let out a gentle "oof" at the sudden impact and jihoon hopes his heart wasn't beating too loudly. you moved away from him almost as quickly as he pulled you in.

"you okay?" his hands were still lightly grasping yours and your face flushed under his scrutiny, "yeah. you can let go of me now." jihoon's reluctance seemed to catch your eye too, "did you mean to talk about something else?"

dang it, you and your perception.

jihoon glanced down at his hand intertwined with yours, "why can't i link arms with you like you do with soonyoung?" you were mildly taken aback by the sudden question, but jihoon pressed on, "or when you got jun to do things for you when i could do them too? i'm your roommate, not him. certainly you don't need him to move your shelf when i was around."

you stared back at him with an unreadable expression and jihoon abashedly looks at the ground, "and when you spend time with wonwoo instead of me, i feel like i've been...left out. i don't know, tell me if i'm reading too much into this or maybe..."

he hears your sudden laughter amidst his worries and he thinks you might have lost it. you wiped away a tear from the sheer amount of force it took you when you started chuckling, "i didn't think this day would come. i like you, lee jihoon. like, a lot."

jihoon sputters, "this entire time?" you averted your gaze, "i just wanna ask if...maybe you do have feelings for me?"

"i do, for as long as i've met you and i..." you pecked him on the cheek and rocked back on your heels, "then that's all i wanted to hear."

if jihoon could combust right now, he would. he noticed how your blushing face mirrored his and he pulled you in for a hug: this time it was far from anything like that of two friends embracing.

"the things you mentioned: about soonyoung, he's just naturally clingy like that, but i thought maybe if i got closer to him it would make you jealous. same with jun, or more like he offered and i decided to test you a little to see if i was right. and for wonwoo, he was totally on board trying to rile you up."

you stopped your rambling and raised your hands as if to surrender, "i said my piece. the boys had a hand in all of these sneaky actions."

your words caused jihoon's mind to run at miles per hour, "but they told me they'd be 'wingmen' for me, and would try to create more opportunities for us to be alone together...?"

realization hit you. they've been instigating everything, orchestrating every action. "do you think they..."

"i think so." you confirmed his suspicions. hurriedly, you two entered the provision shop and bought the drinks, feet quickly carrying both of you back to the dorms to confront the three trouble makers.

the door bursts open at the impact, effectively shocking the three masterminds.

jun swallows his food comedically, "uh-oh." "seems like our plan worked out, huh?" wonwoo smirked as he leaned over to high-five an equally joyous soonyoung, "welcome back lovebirds!"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day zero

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff

length : 3.2k

tags : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81

a/n : hi everyone!! I hope you'll enjoy this, comments and reblogs and asks are always more than appreciated!!

•••

day zero

Time moved differently on tour. It always had, as long as I’d worked on them. Go away for a week and it’ll simultaneously feel like you only left home yesterday and as if you’ve been on the road for a month straight. 15 days didn’t seem too bad this time around. I’d done double that, triple that, easily. I basked in the feeling of how it fucked with time perception. Days flying by so fast I couldn’t quite grasp it, memories so fleeting and yet so fully anchored to my being. At the same time, in between, I already knew that I’d have days where this tour felt like a lifetime. Too many places in too little time, so many faces, different venues, different people, fans, the same setlists every night. And afterward, life wouldn’t be quite the same. Not this time around.

•••

“There she is!”

Oli’s voice was much too loud in the hotel lobby. Several people turned around, even if I wasn’t sure if it was because they recognised him or simply because they were questioning who was being so damn loud in this rather nice place. He crossed the room in long strides as I quickly gave the receptionist a nod while she handed over my room key.

He looked different than the last time I’d seen him in person, which, admittedly, had been… a while. There had been constant texting, a familiar voice in my ear whenever I needed it, video calls at any opportunity, all based on a friendship we’d both worked hard to grow over the last decade or so, but lately both of us had been busy on such opposing schedules that any in-person meetings got delayed and delayed again.

Whenever he was on the road, I was stuck at a job far away and when I was working on a different local tour, he was busy recording in a different country. It was why he made sure that now, when he was embarking on a massive arena tour with his band and I was miraculously free for all of January, he got me a job allowing me to tag along. It was so much more than I could ask for.

Still. It had been longer than I’d like to admit since the two of us had met in person and none of the pictures I’d been looking at or the video calls we’d been chatting through had done Oli Sykes any justice. He’d been hitting the gym, I knew that much, but the way he now filled out his frame had me giving him a once over as he approached. His hair was longer now, too. He looked healthier, I thought. Healthier and happier.

At least I wasn’t crushing on him anymore. I had spent a good few years with a special place in your heart reserved just for him, well aware that it had never been reciprocated. Nothing had ever happened, save a few harmless flirtations here and there. One of us had always been in a relationship, had someone else on their mind or simply enjoying their single life. It wasn’t like he’d be interested in me either way, I told yourself. And I was over all of that, even if both of us actually were available at the same time for once. It didn’t matter.

I greeted Oli with a smile as both of us immediately went for a hug. He’d always been a very touchy person, something that had been feeding my crush in the most unhealthy ways, but as someone who was also constantly in a state of touch starvation, I appreciated it either way. His arms held me tightly. I was convinced I could feel every individual muscle under my fingers as they traced his back and I just knew he was smiling into my hair as he rested his head on mine, his perfume engulfing me, and-

Yeah, fuck. I wasn’t over him. Like, at all.

I let go of him a little too abruptly, terrified he could feel the way my heart rate was speeding up, but he didn’t mention it. The weight of my realisation was hitting me hard.

I was going to have to spend the next two and a half weeks with him, as close as ever. And I was going to be crushing on him as much as ever. Great.

“Thank you for getting me on this tour,” I said anyway because truly, having someone basically fight to create a job for me just to make sure I could tag along and get paid for it out of pure friendship wasn’t something I was taking for granted. It wasn’t Oli’s fault my feelings weren’t under control.

“I’ll have you know that I missed three meetings to convince them that I needed a personal assistant to keep me on track.”

“Damn, so I’ll actually have to interact with you and make sure you are where you need to be at all times?” I joked.

“You also get to go on burger runs after the show. You’re basically my slave now.”

I decided to ignore the way his statement makes a shiver run down my spine. He didn’t need to know how far my services would extend, if he ever asked for it.

“Everyone in the tour group chat is making fun of me by the way. They’ve all very lovingly changed my contact name to ‘Oli’s slut’, so you’re not that far off.”

“Wait, there’s a groupchat I’m not part of?” Oli was halfway to pulling out his phone, apparently shocked at the idea that other people working this tour would connect without him being the centre of attention or even included at all, but he was interrupted.

The interruption came in the form of Noah Sebastian, tall, all smiles, and, somehow, even more beautiful in person than I’d gathered he would be from pictures and videos. One of his hands came to rest on Oli’s shoulder, making him look up with a bright smile, as the other reached out to me.

“Noah Sebastian,” he introduced himself, as if there was any chance I could possibly not be aware. “I sing in Bad Omens.”

“Hi! I’m Oli’s slut.” A brief pause. Panic as I gripped his hand tighter upon realising just which words had left my mouth. “No! Wait! Personal assistant! Oh my god. Aubrey. That’s my name.”

I couldn’t tell whose laughter was louder out of the two of them, but I was mortified. This was possibly the worst first impression I had ever made. And I’d made a lot of them.

“Where did you find her?” Noah laughed. “I like her already.”

Oli slung his arm around me, pressing my blushing face to his chest. I both wanted to burrow myself into the fabric of his hoodie and withdraw immediately before the heat in my cheeks got any worse.

“Oh, years ago, mate. She’s a keeper. A little socially inept though, obviously.”

“I fucking hate you,” I mumbled as I untangled myself from Oli. “I’m gonna go to my room and hide away until I’ve learned how to behave in public again.”

Grabbing my bag from off the floor and double checking that the key card I’d been handed hadn’t, somehow, vanished into the abyss, I turned to take the handle of my suitcase only to find it was already in Noah’s hand.

“I’m going to join you,” he said. I didn’t miss the way Oli raised his eyebrows. “In going upstairs, I mean, not going to your room. I’m… very jetlagged.”

“You two are a right pair,” Oli commented with a chuckle and a shake of his head. “This is going to be a great fucking tour.”

•••

“Is this the first tour you’re working on?”

I stopped at the door leading to my hotel room, Noah coming to a halt next to me and pushing my suitcase in my general direction. I was unreasonably nervous. Somehow, even though we were in a pretty public hallway in a pretty public hotel, no one else was around. I hadn’t counted on being alone with him so quickly, even if it was possibly the least conspicuous situation imaginable. Leaning back against the door, I fumbled with the keycard to keep my hands preoccupied.

“Oh no, I’ve done my fair share, actually. It’s how I met Oli, years ago, on one of the first jobs I ever had. I’ve mainly been doing merch or helping out as someone’s assistant, usually a tour manager’s. When he found out I was going to be free for this tour, he really wanted to get me on it, but they’d filled all positions already, so he convinced management that he needed a personal assistant. And here I am!”

“What’s that entail then? Your job? I might be in the business of hiring a personal assistant for myself, some time in the future.”

The way he was towering over me as he leaned against the wall, a smirk on his lips, eyes travelling over my face… was he flirting with me? I’d always been terrible at telling. Especially when it came to attractive people. There was a constant fear my interpretations could just be down to wishful thinking.

“Knowing Oli, it’s probably going to be a lot of running around to fetch him food and the most random assortments of items that he suddenly needs for no reason whatsoever. Other than that, I’m responsible for kicking his ass and keeping him on time for everything. I’m allowed to use physical force if necessary, he gave me that in writing. I’m definitely going to enjoy that part.”

“Sounds like Oli’s your slut, to be honest.”

If there had been any liquid anywhere near my mouth, I would have done a spit take. The implications of it, as well as the tone of his low voice muttering the word slut was enough to do me in. There wasn’t, though, so I simply gaped at Noah for a moment before erupting into laughter.

“You know, it really does. I’m going to remember that. Don’t tell him though. He likes to think he’s the dominant one in this situation.”

Noah pushed himself away from the wall, giving me another smile that sent shivers down my spine, before turning to walk away. “I can’t wait to see you put him in his place. I’m going to be watching.”

•••

The room was nicer than any I had ever been put in while working on a tour and, even more importantly, I wasn’t sharing it with anyone. I didn’t know what kind of strings Oli had pulled to make this happen, but I would thank him thoroughly for it. In any way he deemed acceptable.

I shook the thought from my head.

It didn’t work.

So, I did the only thing that made sense. I called my best friend.

“Lia, I’m in fucking trouble,” was the first thing I said to her. We’d never been too fond of greetings.

“Did you get arrested before tour even started again?” Her voice came through the phone, somewhere between accusatory and amused.

“That never happened! It was a case of mistaken identity and they let me go immediately. Anyway. No. My problem is that I want to fuck my boss.”

“And that’s news to you how?” she scoffed.

“Lia!”

“What! How is it any secret, or ever has been, that you want to bone Oli Sykes?”

I fell down onto my bed in defeat. It was extremely comfortable, which did ease my pain momentarily. I would get an amazing night’s sleep here.

“I thought I was over it,” I whined. “I thought I was going to be fine but he’s fit as fuck and I’m gonna have to spend every fucking day with him. Never mind Noah.”

“Noah? Okay, now you have my attention.”

“I didn’t have it before? Rude.”

“Less complaining, more talking about Noah please.”

“He’s fucking dreamy, I’ll tell you that. And a flirt. I think? I’ve yet to determine it for sure. And I’ve only seen him and Oli interact once but Oli looks at him like the sun shines from his arse so he’ll probably be around all the time, too.”

Lia didn’t say anything for a long, long moment. Long enough that I pulled the phone from my ear briefly just to check that the connection hadn’t dropped. When she finally spoke again, she sounded much more serious than I’d heard her in a while.

“Aubrey. I know I make fun of you a lot.” True. “And I know that I don’t always give the best advice.” Also true, sometimes painfully so. “But I love you and you need to listen to me for once, yeah? Have some fucking fun.”

I had to admit, that wasn’t the advice I thought I was going to hear.

“You have this weird thing about not allowing yourself to let loose and enjoy yourself but I’m giving you explicit permission. Do whatever feels right. Flirt with anyone who’s attractive to you and wants to flirt back. Make a move on Oli. Make a move on Noah. I don’t fucking care. But stop depriving yourself of happiness because you, for some unexplainable reason, think you don’t deserve it. Please, Aubrey. Have some fun on this tour. Okay?”

I was dumbstruck. For a while, I didn’t know what to say, but Lia stayed silent, waiting it out. Waiting until her words seeped into my brain. Started to make sense. And I knew. I knew she was right. I’d been focused on chasing after job opportunities, constantly trying to prove myself, travelling from one place to another, and never had I stopped and taken a moment to allow myself to really be happy. I hadn’t had a relationship since… I didn’t want to think about it. Hell, I hadn’t even touched anyone in forever. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten drunk, stayed out until sunlight, sang my heart out, let go.

And this tour… Oli had given me the job because he wanted to hang out with me. I didn’t have anything to prove. So I took a breath. And I told Lia a single word.

“Okay.”

•••

I was almost asleep, clad in a pair of shorts and an old shirt and covered under the blanket, when my phone chimed with the tell-tale jingle I’d assigned to Oli. He was my boss, after all. I felt like I should at least make an effort to make sure I’d notice his attempts to contact me, even if it only came in the form of a personalised ringtone.

Oli u up? Aubrey Is this a booty call Oli come over

I knew I didn't have a good enough reason to refuse. Double checking that I had noted down his room number, I grabbed my key card and phone and quickly padded down the hallway, thanking the lords that no one bumped into me. Oli opened the door the second I put my knuckles against it to knock. He didn't waste any time pulling me into the room and onto his bed by my hand.

“Wow, forward much? Normally I at least get dinner before jumping into bed with someone,” I joked.

“Love, I’ve taken you out for food so many times, you should get on your knees without me having to ask.”

I landed a good slap to the back of his head for his comment. It seemed better than to acknowledge the fact that I would, definitely, without question, get on my knees for him, and now my head was once again flooded with inappropriate images. Settling on the mattress next to him, I tried not to get too close to Oli, which shouldn’t have been a difficult feat on a double bed, but as soon as he had grabbed his laptop again, he shuffled so close that his thigh was touching mine.

“Can I show you some stuff?” he asked, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in my heart, as he was rapidly opening and closing tabs on his laptop. I simply nodded, waiting for him to continue. “I know you’re going to see most of it tomorrow, I made sure the sound tech people are cool with you staying at the sound desk if you want so you can get a good look at the whole show, but look, we did a whole video montage that’s going to play before the encore, and…”

Oli talked and talked and talked, about the show, about the planning of it all, about their rehearsals, showing me pictures and videos and blueprints and all I could do was sit and listen and fall in love with the sound of his voice a little bit more. He was catching me up on everything I could have possibly missed, letting me listen to everything he was expecting to happen in the next two weeks, and how he couldn’t believe I was actually there and part of it all.

“Having you and Noah here is the fucking best,” he grinned, somehow snuggling even closer into me. I let him, against my better judgement, as always.

“Someone’s a bit in love with him,” I teased.

“Everyone is a bit in love with him. You’ve met him. Prettiest dude on tour.”

“Apart from you.” It slipped out before I realised the thought was even in my brain, but Oli seemed delighted.

“You think I’m pretty?” He fluttered his eyelashes in a way that would have been purely obnoxious, usually, but all I could focus on was how fucking pretty he did indeed look. “You think I’m cute? You wanna kiss me? You wanna hold my hand?”

“Oh my god, I take it back,” I groaned, pushing him away and attempting to crawl out of his bed, but his arms grabbed onto my middle and pulled me back before I got anywhere at all. He seemed to anticipate me trying to fight his grip, because as soon as I made any further move, his fingers found the skin under my shirt and began tickling my stomach in relentless cruelty. Within seconds, I was reduced to a shouting, giggling mess, tears threatening to spill from my eyes as I wriggled underneath him, to no avail.

“Please, please, Oli!” I gasped, breathlessly. “You’re- fuck, you’re the prettiest!”

His torment stopped immediately, but our position didn’t change. I was still trapped under his broad frame, his hands still on me, his hair almost tickling my face, he was that close. My breathing was going fast, trying to calm down after his attack, but his proximity didn’t help at all. For a moment, a long moment, we simply stared at each other, all fight leaving our bodies. Then, just as I wondered if anything was actually going to happen, he sat back up, busying himself with his laptop and fixing the blanket.

I almost missed it when he muttered, “For the record, I think you’re the prettiest, too.”

[gorgonwrites]

still loving you, part 1

geto suguru x fem!reader

in which your best friend shoko takes you to the bar your ex-boyfriend is performing at tonight.

wc: 2.3k-ish

author's note: i wrote a geto fic- someone fucking sedate me. i love that man w my whole heart. ps, i swear i will learn how to write a one shot one day. i am nothing if not a slut for the buildup. this is inspired by the song still loving you by the scorpions bc it's a GOOD FUCKIN SONG

tags/ CW: sfw but will be nsfw eventually, fem!reader, second chance romance, modern AU, bassist!geto, reader broke getos heart but we'll make it right don't worry, reader/ shoko/ geto/ gojo are bffs duh, slowburn bc i can't fucking help myself, reader smokes a cigarette or two bc i like the effect SMOKING IS BAD 4 U ok??

“Was it really necessary to bring me along for this? I could be home with my cat right now.” your best friend pulled you to her favorite bar, laughing as you continued to grumble. 

“You never leave your apartment, y/n. Have some fun for once!” Shoko continued to tug you along until you were at the door of The Sorcerer’s Lounge. If you were completely honest you didn’t hate this place- it was more speakeasy than dive bar, and it was one of the more peaceful places Shoko liked to bring you. 

“I do leave my apartment. I work, I go grocery shopping, and I sit and read in the park across town. So there.” You stuck your tongue out at her. She was your opposite but you adored her all the same. While she liked to party and drink herself into oblivion, you liked to stay in and enjoy your own company. You finished your party phase while you were in college- thinking about it made your chest twinge. “You know this isn’t really my thing anymore. I just made an exception tonight because I like it here.” Shoko had mentioned a show happening tonight, and you generally enjoyed the entertainment that the lounge offered. 

“Well you look fucking devastating, y/n, maybe we should make this your thing again?” Shoko was too hopeful, though her effort made you giggle. She took your hand and had you twirl in front of her, making the thigh-high slit of your dress threaten to show just too much. You did miss late nights like this, but it simultaneously felt foreign to you. There was something- someone- missing. You shook the thought away. As you both made your way through the crowd to the bar you saw a familiar head of white hair, and you stopped in your tracks. Shoko still had a firm grasp on your wrist, and your sudden halt nearly had her fall over. 

“Shoko, who’s playing tonight? I didn’t have the time to check.” actually you hadn’t cared to check, but you didn’t think it would’ve been your ex-boyfriend’s band. You looked at her sharply and she grimaced. Please, no. 

“Oh, I ah, I don’t remember!” She smiled sheepishly and tried to laugh the question off. Just as you were about to turn around and march out of the bar, you were engulfed in a tight hug. 

“Y/N! No way! Shoko you didn’t say she was coming too! Fuck dude, it’s been way too long. How are you?” You were smashed into Gojo’s chest, unable to respond. He held you tightly and laughed, a familiar and bright sound that always made you smile in the past. Right now, though, you wanted to hurtle yourself into the sun. Of all the nights you agreed to join Shoko, why did it have to be tonight? You managed to wiggle your way out of Gojo’s grip and huffed in response, trying not to take your agitation out on the man. After a breath, you were able to respond. 

“Gojo, it’s so good to see you.” you smiled gently and you meant it. He looked good. You weren’t sure if it was possible but he seemed even taller than when you’d seen him last, and he still had the same stupid sunglasses that he used to wear. “It’s been five years, I think? I won’t lie, I haven't really had the time to keep track.” A lie. Yes you were busy, but you knew exactly how long it had been since you had seen him and his best friend. The four of you had been inseparable during your college years, a rag-tag quartet against the rest of the world. You did everything together, until suddenly you didn’t. It hurt. It still hurts. 

“Oh, shit, I have to tell Suguru you came!” Gojo spun on his heel and ran across the bar and out of sight.

“Fuck, Gojo, don’t!” you yelled after him and tried to make your way in the same direction, but it was useless. He had a habit of appearing and disappearing, and you knew you wouldn’t find him. You slowly turned to your best friend, your eyes blazing. “Care to explain this shit to me?” Shoko shrank under your gaze but seemed to recover quickly. 

“Gojo reached out to me a few days ago to tell me they’d be in town and to tell me about their gig tonight. I thought it would be nice for the four of us to catch up.” you could hear the pain in her voice. “I thought you were over everything by now, y/n. You never bring Geto up anymore. I don’t even remember the last time you said his name.” you groaned at your ex-boyfriend being mentioned, and pinched the bridge of your nose to keep yourself from saying something stupid. 

“You know I adore you, Shoko.” you breathed, “But why did you think this was a good idea? My breakup with Geto shattered our friend group. I’m not sure if it really will be a nice thing for us to catch up.” though you had been surprised by Gojo’s response to seeing you. “We’ve all gone our separate ways in life. I’m not sure we really need to dwell on the past.” you had built a life for yourself, and you were proud of that fact. Yes, there were lonely nights and moments that you craved a closeness that you’d only ever experienced with Geto. But you made a life nonetheless, and you weren’t willing to mess it up because Shoko wanted to live in the past. “He broke my heart, Shoko. I think a part of me is still recovering.”

“You broke his too, you know.” Shoko said firmly. “If you weren’t so fucking stubborn you would’ve seen that. Leave if you want to. I’m going to support our boys.” Our boys. She stalked off, leaving you breathless. You slumped into a chair at the bar and ordered a shot. If you were going to stay, you needed something to take the edge off. 

. . .

“She’s here with Shoko! I saw! She looks fucking incredible, by the way. Damn, it was good to see her face. There’s something different about her, but she’s still y/n. I can tell.” Gojo continued to ramble on about you, giving Geto a massive fucking headache. He didn’t expect Shoko to make it, and he definitely hadn’t expected to hear that you were with her. His heart leapt in his chest, agitating him even further. 

“Satoru, I swear to god if you don’t shut the fuck up I’m going to wring your neck.” he slumped back onto the sofa in their small changing room and scrubbed his hands over his face. “This has you and Shoko written all over it.” Shoko and Gojo loved plotting together, whether it was going to be messy or not. They just seemed to enjoy the ride. 

“Suguru, come on. You don’t fucking shut up about her. In all the years it's been, I know you’re still crazy about her. And I know you want to see her, so get over yourself. She showed up, whether you like it or not. I don’t think she’d just abandon Shoko because you’re here.” Geto knew you wouldn’t leave her, so he was going to have to suck it up. “We’re on in thirty. Get your shit together.” Geto stared up at the ceiling and tried to remember your face. You never posted on social media, and Shoko rarely had photos of you up anymore. You had basically just disappeared one day, and it made the ache in his chest get worse. 

. . .

“Two espresso martinis, please.” You had taken two shots, and after letting them take effect you were finally ready to face Shoko again. You carefully carried the drinks through the crowd and into the lounge area, carefully searching through the tables and booths to find your best friend. You found her in the front row, stress smoking her cigarettes. “Those’ll kill you, you know.” you smirked, and she angrily looked up at you. 

“Hmph. The stress from how stubborn you are already has me halfway there.” she eyed the drinks in your hand. “Though, a drink might add a few more years back to my lifespan.” You placed your drinks on the table and sat down beside her, wondering when the show would start.

“I really don’t know if I can do this.” you did your best to hide the tremor in your voice but Shoko noticed, like she always did. She pushed your hair behind your ear and smiled. 

“You can, though. We’re just supporting our boys. No harm in that, right?” There really was no harm in it, but it made you nervous all the same. Your breakup with Geto had been entirely underwhelming, at best. You knew you had been growing apart for some time, and your parents never approved of him to begin with. He wanted to travel and make music, free as a bird. You wanted to stay and work in the city, carving out your own little slice of paradise where you were. He wanted you to come with him, you wanted him to stay. It would never, ever work. So you called it quits one day, plain and simple. He didn’t put up a fight though, and it had solidified your suspicions of him getting bored with you. You left and had tried your best not to look back after that. 

“Earth to y/n, can you hear me?” Shoko waved her hand in your face. “I said they’ll be on soon. Are you even listening to me?” you had to give yourself a shake to snap out of it. This was about to be a long fucking night if you couldn’t get a grip. 

“Give me one of those.” you snatched the pack of cigarettes from Shoko and lit one, taking a long drag before you exhaled in her face. You continued to take long drags until you finished and grabbed another.

“What the fuck happened to these will kill you?” Shoko snatched the pack out of your hands and stuffed it into her purse out of reach.

“The stress from how stubborn I am already has me halfway there.” you parroted back to her and lit the second one, winking. “It’s fine, I won’t have another. I have some semblance of self control, unlike someone I know.” Shoko rolled her eyes and grumbled, but immediately perked up when the lights began to dim. You had the opposite reaction, tensing up and shrinking into your seat as you smoked. Your best friend noticed though, as always, and looped her arm through yours.

“We’re just supporting them, like I said a little while ago. No harm, no foul. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.” She gave you a reassuring smile, and you couldn’t help but lean into her touch. Shoko had been your rock through the breakup, and continued to support you even now. You could feel how excited she was, and admittedly her excitement was always contagious. You relaxed and watched as everyone came out on stage. 

Gojo of course came out first, that damn show pony. His boisterous attitude and loud mouth always annoyed you, and he always did the most to get the attention he wanted. You love him half to death though, and he knows it. He got all of you into trouble so many times you had lost count. A blonde with glasses came out next, a new addition to the band it seemed. You had never seen him before. A short man with cropped black hair and a huge grin came out next, and you recognized him from school though you couldn’t remember his name. Haibara? Something like that. That left Geto for last, as usual. 

You had forgotten just how beautiful he was. He walked out with a small smile on his face and waved to the crowd, and you couldn’t help the annoyance bubbling in your chest as the screaming got louder when he took his spot onstage. He had more tattoos than you remembered, and his hair was much longer. He wasn’t wearing it up in a bun, which felt unusual to you. Instead his black hair cascaded down his back and over his shoulders, framing his face. Was his bottom lip pierced now? He was too far away for you to be sure. You studied him carefully, drinking in the image in front of you. While everyone else got settled you watched as he began to scan the crowd for someone. You took another drag from your cigarette, wondering who he was so intent on finding. His eyes continued to wander until they found you. You locked eyes with him and tried not to choke as you exhaled, and leaned farther into Shoko’s embrace. He looked as shocked as you felt- your heart was about to jump up and out of your fucking throat. You could barely see the corners of his mouth turn up, and he raised his eyebrows before he finally looked away. You knew that stupid look. That was the ‘and what do we have here?’ look he always had on when he relentlessly teased you. The look was enough to make you scowl and huff, and you crossed your arms over your chest. Geto spared you another glance, and seeing you in such a state made him break out in a ridiculous grin before he laughed to himself. He loved teasing you. 

“He seems really happy to see you.” Shoko whispered in your ear. She huddled close to you, letting you lean into her as much as you needed.

“Yeah, well, no one said I was happy to see him.” your best friend let out a huff, letting you know you weren’t fooling her. You were hardly fooling yourself. Truthfully, seeing him after all this time made you feel like you were floating. You could only remember his face glassed over and uninterested, so seeing him happy made your heart leap. He loved being on stage and performing, and you loved watching him do it. The show began and, as always, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

[everydayautism]

Clothing Sorting Guide (how to clean/purge your closet)

subtitle: as a person with autism, ADHD, or similar executive function struggles.

For my first guide, in the spirit of spring cleaning, I’d like to offer a streamlined way to sort clothes into 2 piles for purging: keep it or toss it. 

I have struggled with knowing which clothes I want and which I want to get rid of. This leads to a big pileup of clothes that I don’t want or need anymore, but I have trouble parsing which ones are keepable and which aren’t if I don’t have a clear thinking process in it. These questions help me get my head in the game. 

If you're in a similar predicament with a closet overflowing w/ clothes that you don't actually wear, give this a try, and let me know if it helped you.

Here’s how it works: 

Make sure you dedicate enough time to this exercise, because it might be hard to start again once you take a break.

There will be 2 piles of clothes. One will be keep, and one toss. (You can also just leave your ‘keep’ clothes hanging up, if you want to. Will probably save a lot of mess, but won’t be so visually clear/divisive). 

Based on the prompts below, you’ll sort the clothes into the 2 piles. Of course, it’s always ok to re-sort clothes or realize ‘you know what, maybe I do want to keep this’ regardless of the guide. This is just a simple “get you started” type of deal.

And when you're done, consider donating your clothes to your local Goodwill or homeless shelter. You can de-clutter and make a good change in the world simultaneously.

Here we go!

---

Have you worn it in the last year? > If no, TOSS IT.

Do you feel ugly in this article of clothing? > If yes, TOSS IT. 

Do you feel uncomfortable in this article of clothing due to sensory reasons? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Did you buy this, but never wear it? Does it still have the tag on it? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Do you associate this piece of clothing will bad memories, and thus aren't getting any use out of it? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Do you only still own this because it's associated with good memories, but you don't wear it/like it? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Does this item fit you? > If no, TOSS IT.

Does it have large stains, visible holes, or other damage? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Has your personal style changed? If it has, does this item still fit into your style? > If no, TOSS IT.

---

Those are our tosses; how do we know if we really want to keep it?

Once you've ran through these options in your mind, consider those pieces who have not yet met the 'toss it' criteria. These may be definitive items that you're set on keeping, or they may be a gray area, where you're not sure if you want them gone or not.

Tips for determining if you really want to keep them, or are just delaying the inevitable:

1. try them on. Are you comfortable? Do you feel confident wearing this? Does it fit you properly, with no excessive cutting or squeezing? Do you feel the need to suck your stomach in while wearing this?

2. look back on times you wore this item. What did you pair it with? Were you confident wearing this, or did you feel insecure for one reason or another? How did you feel wearing this?

3. ignore the sunken cost fallacy. If this an expensive item, don't consider its monetary value in the elimination process--if you haven't worn it, chances are you won't again. Resell it, if you want to earn some money back from an expensive purchase. Otherwise, donate it.

4. consider the opportunities you will have to wear this item. Is it a daring shirt perfect for a party? Is it formalwear? If you can think of times it would be appropriate to wear, perfect. If you can't, reevaluate keeping it. (for example, if you previously worked as a clown but don't anymore, don't keep your clown suit for shits and giggles).

I hope this helps, and feel free to submit asks or comments to this blog for other autism accommodation tips that anyone can make happen in their daily life.

[sith-shenanigans]

For the ask game where we send you an NPC, Talos Drellik? (I am totally not jumping up and down at the thought of following up on some tags/replies you left a while ago about Ahene and Talos, not at all)

aaaa it makes me so happy that you liked the tags and were not annoyed by the tags (let me put this under a readmore because it’s going to be extremely long)

Okay! So! Bearing in mind that this is a living work and Hoth is a long way away and I don’t know all of what will change—

There is a very not-entirely-normal dynamic here because it doesn’t progress in intensity so much as progress in what, precisely, the intensity is made up of.

Ahene’s first introduction to Talos is along the lines of “do you really want to talk to that guy? He’s strange,” and this endears him to her immediately. Ahene’s second introduction to Talos is walking into a Reclamation Service camp and not feeling like she’s home.

(She does, in fact, think of the camp outside the Rakatan ruin where she largely grew up as being “home.” She also often thinks of herself as not having a home. Or of the ruin itself being home, and the camp not.)

It is important to know, here, that Ahene’s relationship to her trauma is much more in the “continues to be attracted back to it and to things that remind her of it” category rather than the “avoid all reminders forever on pain of flashbacks” category. She actively enforces these reminders on herself whenever she feels she’s acting too much like she’s free—early on, it’s because she believes she isn’t, even if she and her master are the only ones who know that. Later on, it’s because a lot of her self-image is tied up in not being a “typical Sith,” and in her mind, her ability to treat herself harshly is proof she isn’t one (isn’t Like The Others). She hasn’t forgotten who—or what—she really is.

By and large, she feels safer in unsafe situations. She understands hierarchical relationships better than equal ones. She doesn’t know how to be a person, and she’s terrified she’ll forget how to not be. Obviously, this makes her kind of hate being a Sith, but it also makes her kind of prefer being a Sith—the social dynamics are very, very easy for her, even if she doesn’t feel she deserves the loyalty she gets for it.

Back on Tatooine, she worked with a Reclamation Service crew, and it was the most familiar thing she’s done since Korriban, except that this time she was a Sith to them. Which was simultaneously awful and “hey, the terrible thing that happened to you? You’re going to exist in proximity to it forever but it can’t hurt you anymore.” (Which, to someone who keeps trying to yank on her own trauma to prove it can’t hurt her…) Then everything went terribly wrong and Silthar got very badly injured, and they were depending on her, and she has never been able to avoid feeling responsible under those circumstances.

But there’s still this given hanging over it that the responsibility is unrequited. People will be grateful to her as a Sith that helps and protects them—more grateful than she thinks she deserves for doing what she perceives as bare-minimum decency towards anyone she has power over—but if she had been below them, they wouldn’t have treated her the way she treats those below her. She wouldn’t have been one of their people. She would have been one of their tools.

(The greatest exercise in loyalty, in her mind, is to give it without caring if it’s returned. She still loathes the Empire for not returning it towards its people, almost as much or even more than she hates it for what it did to her planet, because if it took care of them then she wouldn’t have to do it—but that’s because Imperials believe they’re doing something good. She doesn’t. She just takes care of them anyway, because it may not be the right thing to do, but it still makes the galaxy a little more just.)

By the time she gets to Hoth, though, she’s just having an awful time. The inquisitor story in the game only has things get really bad at the start of Act III, and before that you’re kind of fine? But Ahene is not fine. Ahene is also aware that she’s not fine. It might have started subtly, but at this point she’s just trying to sell herself on the idea that she can handle it until Thanaton is dealt with and then she can let the ghosts go and everything will be, if not fine, relatively fixed enough that she can spend about a week curled into a little ball in the corner of her ship until she can function normally again.

But, you know, for the most part, the ways she’s Not Fine aren’t externally visible yet. There was an incident on Quesh where she used the ghosts’ power and kind of halfway lost control and partly life-drained Cineratus, but because she didn’t stop at the station to get anybody inoculated, the only one who actually saw that was Khem. And she didn’t really… explain that. She hasn’t told anyone that she feels hollow all the time and barely gets physically hungry and hears the ghosts talking to her even when she isn’t alone. She can hide it. She can handle it. She doesn’t have enough of an advantage yet. This is enough this will be enough she can still put a stop to it.

So she arrives on Hoth, and she shows up at a Reclamation Service camp expecting for it to feel normal again—enough that it’s easy to slot into the proper role, that she doesn’t have to think about it. She knows the responsibility and the resentment, the fact that something about it always seems safer than anywhere else she’s been.

It doesn’t feel normal. It feels just a little bit like she hates everyone there.

(Or, more accurately, like somebody does. Ahene hates like hell freezes over—rarely, slowly, and with a sort of cold contempt that burns mostly in how impersonal it can be. But the spirits in the back of her mind know how to hate, and they’re much too happy to share.)

Talos looks at this Sith Lord, who appears to be unusually scruffy and looks like she’s developed dark side corruption without the glowing eyes, and—unlike Andronikos, unlike Silthar, unlike Sarnova, unlike Zaril—doesn’t come to the conclusion that someone needs to parent her. She’s moved a bit past giving off that energy. Instead he comes to the conclusion that she’s about to deliver the most fascinating problem he’s encountered this year, which is (because Talos is Talos) really what he finds ideal in a Sith.

Ahene looks at this strange, mostly fearless little archaeologist, and discovers that she is not immune to being treated like a totally reasonable and decent individual who is here for the love of history despite every indication otherwise. Many people make this discovery around Talos.

Their early interactions are still… fascinating. His aura of “everyone I talk to is fundamentally a decent fellow” can only do so much, especially since his version of “rationalizing” all the terrible things about the Empire is sweeping them all into a bucket of “things I can’t do anything about” to hyperfixate on archaeology. Ahene keeps him at arm’s length like she’s learned to do with most people. Ahene gets sucked into talking shop with him. They discover, to Talos’s delight and Ahene’s pleased-despite-herself annoyance, that they share a sense of humor. He treats his probe droids better than some people treated her, and exactly the same way that other people treated her. She gets attached to them too.

Somewhere in there—either before they find Horak-Mul or after, though I’m leaning towards before—he asks about her first dig.

She tells him it was the Verios ruin. The face he makes tells her everything she would have needed to know about Darth Kelshrin’s reputation with the Service, if she hadn’t already been aware.

Delicately, like someone trying to thread a conversational needle with as few actual words as possible, Talos suggests that you hear things about that dig, and they aren’t very good. People don’t like to talk about it, if they manage to get reassigned.

She says that she’s one of the reasons that people don’t like to talk about it, and watches him struggle to reconcile that with her entire demeanor for a moment, then clarifies that she was one of the children they had—probably still have—doing probe-work.

Because of course it does, this horrifies him. She shrugs and comments that she hadn’t realized Kelshrin was that much of an outlier; haven’t there ever been slaves on any of your digs? Talos starts to protest that yes, but none of them were children, and comes to the mid-sentence conclusion that actually, she doesn’t care.

His mouth clicks shut. They sit in silence for a little bit.

When he next speaks, he tells her that he’s sorry he wasn’t there.

She says that most people would have put an ‘and’ in the middle of that sentence. They would have found it absolving, that they weren’t there. And he makes a face, and says that yes, that’s true, but still—he wishes he’d been there. That perhaps he could have done something, if he had been. That at least he could have been—better than the others.

I’m sure you would have been, she says, touching his shoulder, in a voice that would be a threat if any of the bitterness were directed at him. It isn’t a threat. It’s just that half of her doesn’t believe him, and doesn’t blame him, and the other half wants to believe him—and hates so very much that someone like him existed this whole time, and never came for her.

They don’t talk very much about that part of her background, after that. She never makes a secret of what she was—it’s the first thing anyone knows about her anyway, the trash apprentice who brought back the Dark Temple expedition—but while she’ll talk about the ruin like it’s simultaneously a deathtrap and a lost home, she doesn’t tell him about the Service camp. It’s their armistice; it wouldn’t be fair.

She doesn’t blame him for what happened to her childhood. He doesn’t look at her like he’s afraid of her when she loses control of the ghosts’ power, when he walks in on her having snapping arguments with thin air, when the ghosts’ memories and personalities start leaking in and she reacts to something he said about the Great Hyperspace War like she was there.

It’s difficult not to care deeply about someone who sees you at your absolute, utter worst—half-dead, half-possessed, still suffering from a Horror Hunger despite knowing that there are few things she needs less than other people’s life energy—and treats it like it’s simply something that’s happening, and no more terrifying than any other serious illness.

He’s the one she goes to one night, when she needs to tell someone how terrified she is to die. He’s the only member of her crew she doesn’t feel some need to be strong for.

(He is, maybe, the person she tells that she thinks she could exorcise the ghosts. That she hasn’t tried, because she’s scared that it would work.)

It’s important that—by this point—he doesn’t feel like he has to be strong with her, either. He doesn’t have to pretend that he doesn’t notice how bad things are, or keep up a cheerful front through it, the way he nearly always does. It’s not that his cheerful front is insincere—it’s not that he’s lying—but that’s how he’s always dealt with his emotions, the same as Ahene deals with them by scrunching them up into a little ball and taking another step no matter what. They aren’t people who know how to seek comfort in other people, most of the time. Talos doesn’t have childhood trauma the way she has childhood trauma, but he did very much grow up in an abusive environment that he generally dismisses as “not so bad as all that” with a wave of his hand. So it’s… something, that they can be scared together of what’s going to come.

(This could so easily be read as romantic. It is not remotely. It’s also not remotely parental on Talos’s part. It’s just a very unlikely bordering-on-queerplatonic friendship.)

When Ahene walks out of the Dark Council chambers on Korriban with Thanaton’s body (Teneb Kel’s body) in her arms and a title she didn’t ask for or want, Talos makes sure the body ends up in a cryostasis tube until it can be properly entombed. When they head for Dromund Kaas right after, because the planet is being invaded, when she makes for the Dark Temple immediately when they arrive in the aftermath—Talos waits for her at the Dark Temple approach.

When she calls him and asks him to get another stasis chamber and never breathe a word of it to anyone, he does it, because they would trust each other with anything.

Up to and including the body of the Emperor’s Voice.

(The next couple months, she barely remembers, because she was under so much pressure and so much of the same kind of pressure that her dissociative memory issues cropped up again and turned it into a soup of events that 2V had to record and summarize for her. But Talos quite frequently knew what she was doing better than she did, at least when it came to the fact that she suddenly had to run the Reclamation Service. This has always been a team effort. Between her and all her crew, but still especially between the two of them.)

[npc opinions]

[independent-variables]

HELLO !!!

Having now finished binging all of your star wars fics, I come here asking for some recs. Just any of your favourites, bonus points if it will cause emotions (and tears).

Also can't stress enough how much I love your writing, it's so so brilliant <3

(this is neptunesenceladus btw, tumblr hates me and won't let me send asks with a side blog so you get this one)

HI!!! Good to see you, good to see you <3 Always happy to provide recs <3 <3 <3

I want you to know I went through my bookmarks and pulled like sixty fics and had a brief moment of panic, so this is not all of my recs just the first... thirty, or so. If none of these are appealing, oh boy, do I have more!

This list is not in any order other than bookmark order, most are on the shorter side, most are Gen and I am pretty sure all are complete. I tried to warn for stuff that could be a squick when I remembered.

False Dichotomy by nsmorig

Starting off strong with my favorite Cody fic of all time. If you read nothing else on this list I encourage you to read this (if the tags are not a squick) because it will re-shape your brain and shatter your heart into tiny pieces. Basic premise is Force Sensitive Cody gets captured by Dooku and survives torture, experimentation, and imprisonment while trying to figure out his relationship to the Force and to his personhood, and the ways those things are connected. 

What's in a Name by Sankt

This is about Fordo post war and it’s phenomenal characterization. 

The Last Poem of Jedha by schweinsty

How Bohdi Rook becomes a rebel and writes a poem. 

you're like a loaded gun by kazhan

Ok this is E and also Underage, so maybe it’s a skip, but it’s teen Boba/Cal trying to navigate sex and love and secret identities and it’s so fucked up and so good. 

chicken, cattle and cat by deniigiq

Obi-Wan and Maul living in domestic dis-harmony on Tatooine. What more could you ask. 

Little things [are the reason to live] by i_will_bite

Clone medics navigating a slightly hostile working environment and trying to make it less hostile T-T

Two brothers (and a kid) by meerlicht

What if. Waxer and Boil just stayed on Ryloth, with Numa. What then? 

with poise, with grace by andeemae

Stone falls through a hole in a roof and falls in love. Beautiful clone/OC romance and very cute kids, doesn’t shy away from the difficulties of being a clone in love with a civilian. Very much an inspiration for me.

second time around by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters

This is another one I wasn’t sure I wanted to put on here because it deals briefly with rape, but it’s such a wonderfully fucked up take on Anakin and Rex’s relationship. Or, how Vader views Rex. 

The Desert Storm by Blue_Sunshine

If you are looking for an epically long series to get invested in I highly recommend checking this one out. This series and its sister-series are some of the best characterization and worldbuilding for Jedi I have ever had the pleasure of reading and it is a fix-it in all the messy, hard, terrible ways people don’t usually write fix-its. 

Shape-Changer by Fialleril

This is a foundational fic for me. Incredible Tatooine worldbuilding. Inspired me to write the way I write. 

The Sun Is Bright, The Sun Is Blue by ambiguously

CUT AND SU ORIGIN STORY!!! 

most things may never happen: this one will by jaigeye

This is brutal but what if you were a droid and you had to dissect a person. 

Bad Deal by FettsOnTop (GTFF)

Boba/Lando my beloved. A brief look into their relationship and into Lando’s thoughts leading up to Han and them’s arrival. 

and the Force is with me by sauntering_down

Rex and Ahsoka and the way the war changed them, and what they can and cannot do in the aftermath. 

Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge by yellow_caballero

The Fox fic of all time. What if you were trapped in a time-loop with a ghost from the future but your life is so monotonous and simultaneously bizarre you don’t even notice. 

Fishhooks by yellow_caballero

The Boba fic of all time. This author does not write much for SW but every time they do it’s iconic. What if you were a teenager running away from home but also a perfect clone of your father created to be him but better but also his because you will never escape his body and his ownership and his love. What then. 

Staring into open flame by SLWalker

This is such a beautiful and heartbreaking read, it’s basically exploring what would have to happen for Maul and Obi-Wan to have a genuinely healthy and happy relationship post murder and bisection. 

Energy Drink Fox by carrinth

The crack comic of all time. What if Fox had space Monster.

lost cause by catboydogma

The foundational Dogma fic. The fic that got me wondering about how clones spend their time on Coruscant. 

the married au by dharmaavocado

Clone rebellion my beloved. Basic premise is the clones took over Kamino and then went out into the galaxy as a mercenary army of sorts. Rex and Cody are finding their place in the world, creating business partnerships, falling in love, manipulating public perception of clones. (Background clonecest, not between Rex and Cody.)

[effemar]

hi are there any trc fics you would recommend? (saw your tags on that one fandoms with good fic post)

ohhhhh tumblr user after my own heart...

First of all, some of my thoughts on the subject. I love fanfiction -- both as a phenomenon and as a genre of writing. I have a deep and sincere appreciation for the earnest engagement with media it fosters, the creative potential it holds, and the way it can be truly and deeply bad. This being said, what I think makes a fic good is different from what makes a book or a movie good. To me, a good piece of fanfiction is simultaneously a story and a piece of analysis. It should respond to the work it's based on, even (or perhaps, especially) to the detriment of its functionality as a standalone narrative.

This is all to say that the fics I'm recommending here rely heavily on knowledge of the books, and their main merit is in how they engage with the canon narrative. So bear that in mind.

TRC has a lot of fic in a variety of niches and tones. I will try to give you a diverse sampling. That being said, the vast majority of TRC fic that exists is Adam/Ronan (because fandoms are predictable like that) which means the recommendations here are slanted that way.

In no particular order:

Son of the Nuclear A-Bomb -- This is the fic I recommend most among this selection. A clear divergence from canon, it nevertheless extrapolates perfectly on existing themes, to the point that it straight-up predicted several plot points regarding Ronan's family in The Dreamer Trilogy. It's the TRC fic of all time.

Out for Re-henge -- Among TRC fics, there's a surprisingly substantial percentage that are, simply and exclusively, about Blue and Ronan having platonic bonding moments. It's just two teenagers having unmagnificent adventures. Like, as a distinct genre. I've never observed this in any other fandom. You can find more of these under the 'Ronan Lynch & Blue Sargent' relationship tag, with Gen checked as the work category. There's some real gems.

empire that runs on its own -- MIND THE TAGS. I said I'd give you diversity, so I'm giving you diversity. I hesitate to recommend this fic usually, as it can be unpleasant to read and has genuinely upsetting subject matter, but if I'm going to talk about how good TRC fic is, I have to pull out the big guns. It's genuinely incredible work. There's imagery and themes in this that still echo in my head, years after I first read it.

feels better biting down -- Everything by this author is incredible, but I enjoy this fic in particular because it's set in an unexplored bit of time before the series actually starts. It has a unique, lethargic tension that mimics the state of the characters' relationship at this point. It is almost pointedly unromantic, despite dealing with characters who we know have/will have a romantic dynamic during the events of the books.

my bones into your bones -- This fic frustrates me so much. It's incredibly emotionally intense, it has lines that are tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, and it's completely and unapologetically About People Fucking so I can't recommend it to anyone without paralyzing embarrassment. I skipped over this fic in the tag for like three years because of this, but eventually I decided to see what all the fuss was about, and gave it a try. When I tell you it's good, I mean that I felt like I'd been put through the fucking laundry.

Those are mostly pretty serious fics, so here's some light(er) runner-ups as palate-cleansers.

see you somewhere, someplace, sometime -- Ronan assholery, feat. Declan

Hey, Brother (PUNKBITCH) -- Ronan assholery, feat. Blue

in your manner of speaking -- Ronan assholery, feat. Adam (are you beginning to notice a pattern)

[amethystina]

I was tagged by @a-very-fond-farewell! Thank you so much darling 💜

1. Last song: Shishen Take On the Challenge from The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity soundtrack (which I paid a small fortune to get my hands on so you bet I've been listening to it almost non-stop ever since. The music is SO FUCKING GOOD OKAY)

2. Favorite color: Purple — which I feel should come as a surprise to no one xD

3. Currently watching: The Killing Vote, because I apparently need more dramas where the Korean public is allowed to vote on whether or not to execute people. Quite enjoying it so far! The characters are a hoot xD And I'm curious to see what they do with the Kwon Seok Joo dude.

I also just started The Guest because I want to watch it before they remove it from Netflix but BOI. That's not one I'll be able to binge, that's for sure. Horror is great but also, well, terrifying x'D

Though, I must say, I might have to take a detour and rewatch the Along With the Gods movies. I've been meaning to do so for ages and seeing Kim Dong Wook in The Guest makes the urge even stronger. Because, let me tell you, I'm SO EAGER to rewatch the movies and observe the characters now that I've seen the twist at the end of the second movie. A twist I figured out before I actually reached the reveal, sure, but I don't think that's a bad thing? Like, for real, guys. The AUDIBLE GASP I let out when I realised what the twist was going to be and then got to sit there and see it slowly dawn on the other characters? BEAUTIFUL. And it CHANGES SO MUCH. Like, I need to rewatch them because so much of what I thought I knew is now a lie! Circumstances have changed! My initial analysis might be wrong! Characters I thought I knew are now completely different! I need to do more research! I NEED TO KNOW.

(This is what happens when your brain works like mine. And one day I might tell you all about why Kang Yo Han is such a fascinating character to me, because, let me tell you, I've rarely seen a character remain so solid in his characterisation even through the kind of reveals we're given in the drama. It's fucking SPECTACULAR)

4. Currently reading: Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (I do it in bursts because it's not the kind of book I can just binge, okay? x'D), We Have Always Lived In the Castle by Shirley Jackson (I would have finished this LONG ago if it didn't give me so much anxiety (but in a good way?)) and Eld by Mats Strandberg and Sara Bergman Elfgren (though I should probably start over on this one since I was very distracted when I read the first chapter)

5. Last movie: No Regret, because why not dabble in older Korean LGBTQ+ content? It was a ride, that's for sure xD And the next movie will be The World to Come (also one I want to watch before it's removed from Netflix)

6. Sweet/spicy/savory: Either sweet or savoury — it depends on my mood, really.

7. Relationship status: Married! :D

8. Current obsession: I'm not sure if I have one right now? Though I am hoping to get back on track with that diorama thing soon. I've almost collected all the materials I need! I just need fake foliage (preferably red) and I'm going to try and buy that either tomorrow or on Saturday.

9. Last thing you googled? Why my phone kept taking only green photos. And everyone kept telling me I shouldn't have unlocked the bootloader (which I don't think can be done by accident and I sure as hell haven't done it intentionally) so in the end I just restarted it and now it works just fine xD

10. Selfie: I don't really take selfies but here's a cropped version of a drawing WIP of mine.

If you know, you know ;)

(... LOOK, the suspender-pulling had to happen eventually, okay?)

11. Currently working on: Chapter 5 of A New Dawn (Begins With Us) and, after that, it'll be either chapter 37 of Who Holds the Devil or maybe the sequel to Gravitational Pull which I'm STILL struggling to find the time to work on. I'm also working on, like, six different drawings simultaneously. Because why make things easy for myself?

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! Tell me about yourself! :D

[bunnywritesjunk]

Ruusaan | Captain Rex x Reader

Series summary: You missed your tropical planet, but coruscant had more to offer. You are a field medic in the 501st. you work closely with the captain in hopes of not losing your job. But how close is too close.

Chapter summary: You are on the starship on medbay duty. The captain has a question for you.

Pairing: Captain Rex x Reader

Warnings: cursing, inappropriate outfit? muscle injuries, mutual pining, Rated R (To be safe)

Word count: 2.7k

Genre: Fluff and angst

A/n: Posting chapter 6 from an airport. My flight is delayed so I had time. Sorry for the wait guys. I think this chap is cute. Let me know if you want to join the taglist. Enjoy guys!

Chapter 6

You stirred awake slowly opening your eyes. You stared at the grey ceiling trying to will yourself to get up. You can hear Na'wi moving around in the living room. You sat up and stretched while simultaneously cracking your back. You sighed in relief. A knock sounded at your door. You groggily got out of bed and walked to the door. When it opened Na'wi stood before you with a box.

“This was outside for you. I got one too.” She said.

You took the box and went to the living room couch to open it. The box was white with a clasp on the side. On the top, there was the republic's symbol. Na'wi brought her package out as well. You unclasped the box. Inside, there was some tissue paper and a note. You read it out loud.

“Medic of the 501st Battalion, your uniform for non-combat work has been updated, re-designed, and custom fit just for you. Please send the old uniforms back in this box. Thank you for your service.”

Na'wi opened her uniform as you were reading.

“Ummm, what is this?!” She held up what looked like a white skin-tight tunic that was long down to the knees. The sides were open and split up to the waistline. It had the medical symbol on the front center of the shirt. She rested the top on the couch and went for the pants. They were also skin-tight but seemed like basic leggings. You looked at the new “uniform” in disbelief.

“Are those even antibacterial?” You took your uniform out and looked at the tag on the inside.

“I mean, it says it is. But, why do you have this weird sexy nurse costume?” You rubbed your eyes, getting frustrated this early in the morning did not feel good.

Na'wi responds. “I guess they need to differentiate us from clone medics on the star cruiser?”

You shook your head and took your uniform to go change. Might as well get used to it now since the old ones go back today. You changed and took a look in the full-length mirror. The slits in the side emphasized your hips and waist. The back covered your butt enough but you knew you'd still attract a lot of attention in it. They probably didn't think about someone with curves wearing this outfit. You walked out of your room, Na'wi had hers on. She looked up at you.

“Damn, girl. We look hot.” She snickered.

“That is not the objective of scrubs. I don't want to look hot, I want to look like I can save a life!” You said pouting.

Na'wi walked up to you and swung her arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, you can save a life...By riding some dick!” She cackled. You couldn't help but laugh as you pushed her off of you.

Na'wi continued. “Maybe it won't be so bad, come on.” She walked to the front door while you followed.

The two of you were working at different Medbay stations today. You were doing paperwork and taking walk-ins while Na'wi was taking care of the long-term in-patients. You both walked down the corridor until you had to part ways to your respective workplaces for the day. While walking you could feel the looks troopers were giving you. Even under their helmets, you knew they were staring at you. You made it to your Medbay and opened up. At least you were mostly safe from wandering eyes in here. It would take you a little while to get used to this new look. Perhaps it will take the troopers a while to get used to it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Work became tedious, file, after, file, you filled out medical clearance info for the troops. Some needed prescriptions, and some needed assistance devices. You were at it for a few hours before finally deciding to take a lunch break. You had an extra freezer available in your office typically used for storing medical things, but you decided it could go to use storing some of your favorite foods from your home planet. You premade bowls of fruits and vegetables, exotic to most but nostalgic to you. As you warmed up the veggies you saw movement outside the open door of your office. You walked into the main Medbay area to see a trooper standing there awkwardly.

“Hello, how can I help you?” You asked him.

“Uh, I was told to come here for a walk-in?” He looked everywhere except at you.

“Ok have a seat.” You motioned him towards one of the beds while you went and got a Holo pad with a patient form on it.

“Here fill this out.” You gave him the Holo pad.

“I'm just gonna check your vitals while you do that ok?” He nodded.

You lifted his shirt and placed your stethoscope on his back to listen to his lungs. Everything sounded ok, you moved to his chest and briefly checked if he consented to you being under there. He nodded and you continued checking him over. After you were done, You went to grab your blood pressure machine. He finished with the forms and handed you the Holo pad. You took it from him and placed it on the side table.

“Tell me what's going on.” You said to the trooper as you took his blood pressure.

“I uh, have a weird pain in my shoulder. Really hurts when I lift my arm.”

You finished taking his blood pressure and put the machine away. You grabbed the datapad and looked it over. He was CT-7842 and relatively new to the 501st.

“What's your name?”

“Axe.” He replied.

“How long ago did the pain start?”

“After my last mission, about a week ago.” He absentmindedly rubbed his right shoulder.

“Alright, I'm gonna examine you and move your arm around a bit.” You scanned his arm and shoulder with your Holo pad before setting it down. The pad doesn't pick up on more minor muscular injuries as well as a broken bone. It showed no fractures or breaks. You grasped his wrist and upper bicep and moved them slowly in different directions to test his range of motion.

“Tell me when anything hurts.”

He stopped you when his arm was straight out in front of him for the most part. The trooper turned his head towards the door.

“Captain.” He said in a stern voice. You looked up to greet the man standing at the doorway.

“Oh, hi Rex, I'll be with you in a moment. Take a seat.”

The captain sat on a bed across from and adjacent to where you and your current patient sat. Turning your attention back to the trooper in front of you.

“Well, since you still have good enough motion in your shoulder, you either pulled a ligament or have a small tear. Either way, it needs rest and some painkillers. I'm writing you a note, no training for five days while you take your prescriptions. After that, you should be good to go. I'll get those ready for you.”

The trooper nodded. You went to grab him the appropriate medications. You placed them in the back and walked back to Trooper. He was already standing ready to go. You handed him the bag and he left quickly not sparing you a second glance. You grabbed your Holopad while making your way over to the Captain. He quickly gazed over your figure as you walked up to him. Rex blushed, remembering the day's previous events.

[Earlier]

Captain Rex was walking down the corridor on the way to the training center. The training area was full of weights, punching bags, and treadmills. Perfect for any soldier. When he got there he discarded his armor into a locker and headed to the mat. Heading over to a punching bag, he started taking out his frustrations on the poor bag. It swung wildly as he delivered combo after combo. He saw someone move towards him out of the corner of his eye but kept going anyways. The punching bag suddenly stopped swinging and took the punches with ease. Fives popped his head out from behind the punching bag, holding it in place as Rex continued his assault.

“Captain.” He said in a cheeky tone.

Rex nodded at him and continued his workout.

“Sooooo, what's got you all pent up?” Fives asks.

Rex gives him a weird look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we've just noticed how different you've been acting...Around a certain someone.” The arc trooper says.

Rex heard chuckling from a distant corner. He didn't have to look to know which of his troops had come up with this plan. Rex took a step back and looked at Fives annoyed.

“Care to enlighten me?” Says the Captain.

“Well, our little medic sure was getting special treatment from you on the Umbara mission.”

“Even if she was, which she is not, why would it matter?” Rex says.

“It matters because that would mean our uptight Captain has a crush.” Fives says while raising his eyebrows.

Rex rolled his eyes.

Fives continued. “You don't even look at women when we're on leave, let alone take one to your room. So you having a crush? Unheard of.”

Rex stepped up to the punching bag again with a fighting stance. He threw a few punches at it. Fives stood back as he did so.

“I have duties while I'm on leave, more important duties than getting laid. And I am not uptight.” He said the last sentence with venom as he punched.

Fives was not buying the Captain's excuses.

“Look, it's no secret, she's very beautiful. We wouldn't blame you. We want to help you.” Fives said.

“Help me do what?” Rex looked up at him.

“Get some cute medic ass duh.” Fives chuckled.

Rex's face heated and he clenched his jaw.

“You know, that's not necessary. I'm ok.”

“How much you wanna bet...That she likes you back?” Fives grinned.

Rex's eyes narrowed. “I doubt that.”

“She likes hanging around you, Rex. I'm sure she'd love to do that more. Listen, She's working in the lower Medbay today, you need to go get your knee checked out right?” Fives asked.

“How do you know that?” Rex asked accusingly.

“Don't worry about it. Just go down there and ask her to have lunch or something.”

Rex stood there looking into space. Maybe it wasn't a horrible idea, to have a friend that isn't a fellow trooper.

“Alright fine, I'll do it. But, she is only a friend. Nothing more.” Rex insisted.

“Mhmm right. Well, good luck Cap.” Fives walked away towards the troopers at the far end of the training facility.

They giggled as he approached. Rex knew they were plotting something.

[Present]

Now he knows what they were planning. You looked...very good. He cursed himself silently. He knew he had some small feelings coming to the surface for their medic but did not think he was being obvious about it. He felt dirty lusting at you in your new uniform. Fives knew exactly how to push him. Rex realizes why Fives had him come while you were working. You made it to his hospital bed where he was sitting.

“So, what's the problem soldier?” You smiled warmly at him.

Rex's heart stuttered slightly. He thought back to what Fives said earlier. Lots of them think you're beautiful. Considering how nervous the trooper she treated earlier, he was right.

“Um, I get a Bacta treatment for my right knee every few months.” Rex said.

“Ok great, you don't have to fill out anything for that. What's your CT number?”

Rex was slightly surprised she didn't know.

“CT-7567.”

You tapped away on your Holo pad pulling up his file. He gets regular Bacta gel soaks and tape for strained muscles.

“Alright let me grab the stuff really quick. You'll have to take off your blacks so I can get to the area though ok?”

“Yeah, that's ok.” The Captain replied.

Damn you Fives, Rex thought.

Each bed had a privacy curtain that could be pulled around the beds as needed. You got him a medical gown to change into before pulling the curtain around leaving Rex to his thoughts. He quickly got undressed leaving his armor in a neat pile next to the pile. He took off his pants and slipped into the medical gown. The white garment fell just above his knees. Laying down on the bed he took a deep breath. He heard your voice from beyond the curtain.

“Are you ready?”

“...Yeah.” He replied.

You came in with a rolling cart of supplies. You closed the curtain behind you and settled the cart next to the bed. You sanitize your hands before putting gloves on. Grabbing the Bacta gel you squeezed and generous amount onto your fingers before moving to his right side. Rex lifted the gown slightly giving you more access to the area. You applied the Bacta to his knee thickly trying to keep it neat. Rex watched as you worked. He thought back to the battle in Umbara when you got grazed by a blaster shot. He applied Bacta to you in a similar way. He admired how professional you were. Although he was nervous earlier, you eased his mind by not making this small procedure awkward. After a few minutes, you were done. You discarded the glove that was covered in Bacta gel and replaced it with a fresh one. You placed some gauze on top of the Bacta so it won't dry out.

“Alright well, I'll let you soak here for a little while, probably like twenty minutes. Then we'll do some stabilizing tape and you should be good to go.” You gave him a small smile and turned to leave the curtain.

Rex nodded. You went to your office to continue the reports you were doing earlier. You were distracted while working. Rex has some very muscular thighs. Thinking about a patient like that is highly inappropriate, but you couldn't help it. Honestly, the Captain has been on your mind since Umbara. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a crush on him. You knew you had no chance. Your Captain was married to his career. You had to be kind to yourself, It's ok to have a harmless crush. You just had to make sure it didn't get in the way of your job. You were lost in your thoughts when you realized you'd left him there for thirty minutes. You rushed back to his bunk. and called him before you entered the curtain.

“Rex? Can I come in?”

“Yeah come in.” He said.

You walked opened the curtain and walked in closing it behind you. You got fresh gloves on before removing the gauze and excess Bacta from his knee.

“Sorry about that, I got caught up in work.” You told him.

“I get that, it's alright.”

You silently got the tape ready cutting the appropriate length strips. You applied them over the joint quickly and expertly.

“Alright, you're all set. I'll let you get dressed.” You left the curtain with your supply cart. You walked to your office and placed the cart back with the rest of your supplies. After that, you went back to the bed your first patient was on. Stripping the sheets easily you threw them in the laundry bin in the corner of the room. You got new sheets from your supply closet and put them on the mattress. You heard the curtain open, looking over Rex stood there sheepish.

“Alright, you're good to go Rex.” You told him warmly.

“Right... um.” He didn't look at you directly.

“I was wondering if you'd want to have lunch sometime?” He said.

“Oh! Really?” You were pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, you know, as friends.”

“Oh...Right friends. Um yeah, I'd love to.” You tried to hide your disappointment.

“Great, how about tomorrow?”

“Sure, tomorrow works but we'd have to eat in here I can't leave my post.” You said.

“That's fine.” He smiled at you.

“See you tomorrow Ruusaan.” He said in a low voice as he turned to leave the Medbay.

“Bye...” You said quietly.

Just friends.

[halloweenbitch2764]

Broken Home | Bo Sinclair x Reader

Part Four

Part Three

TW: Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts

Tags: @verymuchsoslytherin @theblueinhiseyes @crowned-gemini @slvt4slasherstiktok @ghostofnothing @ajarofpickledtears @stitchattacks @the-honey-nymph @zoleea-exultant

You didn't want to tell him the situation you had gotten yourself into. But as embarrassed as you were, you trusted Bo. He wouldn't judge you. You sat down on the couch and took a deep breath before patting the seat for him to sit as well. He seemed confused but sat down.

"There's more than just visiting as to why I came here." You started. Bo nodded to show he was listening. "Um, about a couple years ago I met a guy." Bo's heart twisted and felt as though a knife had struck him. Of course you weren't single. You were too perfect.

"He was great ya know? Charming, sweet, a real gentleman. At least that's what I thought. Hell he even convinced me to leave my job. I could be a homemaker. It didn't sound bad. At first it started off minor. He'd call me a name here and there. Then it became everyday. Nothing was to his standard. Dinner wasn't made in time, he didn't like what I made, the house was dirty, and so on." A lump formed in your throat causing you to clear it as tears formed.

"My friends tried to warn me. Said he was no good and they knew it but I never listened. He isolated me. I didn't have friends and barely had my parents. Once he got me to that point he started becoming...physical." Bo's fists clenched and unclenched. Anger boiled in his veins but he tried to remain calm for your sake. You didn't need him to be angry, not yet.

"That started out small too. First it was just punches on my arms. Then slaps to my face. Then he left me a black eye. He told me I would never leave him. I needed him. I didn't have anyone but him after all. Nobody would want me anyways. I was disgusting. My body wasn't attractive, my hair wasn't pretty, and the scars were ugly as sin." You let out a breath as a couple tears fell.

"And I believed him. What was I going to do? I had basically no money to my name. I had been so dependent on him that I felt like I couldn't. I was trapped." You took another breath. "Suicide started becoming more appealing. How else was I going to escape?"

Admitting all of this felt simultaneously horrible and amazing. You had bottled all this up for so long. You were pulling up old memories which hurt but would never heal if not addressed. Bo was looking at you intently, emotions swirling behind his eyes. He didn't know what to feel. Anger? Sympathy? Protectiveness?

"He left for work one day. I had enough. I hid a map and planned my route here. I grabbed my essentials and took the car. I didn't know where else to go and prayed somebody would still be in this town. I'd have stayed here either way." A few more tears fell and you looked up at Bo, who reached and wiped some tears off.

"He told me if I left him that he'd kill me. I don't think it was an empty threat." You whimpered the last part. Before you could control it a sob poured out of your mouth.

Bo had never been good with emotions but you had taught him a few things that he still remembered. So he did what he always did.

He pulled you into a hug, holding you against him and resting his head on top of yours. His arms protected you like your own personal safe haven. Bo had always been your safe haven. You clutched at his shirt as you cried.

It hurt. Everything hurt. Your memories of Kyle hurt. Isolating yourself hurt. Having to leave Bo hurt. You allowed yourself to cry for the first time in God knows how long. You had stopped crying and became numb which lead to bottled up emotions. It's not like Kyle would have listened.

Bo ran his fingers through your hair in a soothing motion and just held you until your cries turned to soft pants and whimpers. He held you until you were quiet and only soft sniffles would come ever so often. He only released you when you pulled away.

"You don't know what seeing you in the church meant to me. I wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't have to worry about being found so much." Your voice was strained from crying and you smiled weakly at Bo.

Bo frowned at your state. He hated seeing you cry. You weren't one to cry often. If you fell you'd get back up, brush it off, and try again. He hated what you had endured. You were so precious, how could anyone treat you like that? Much less a guy who was lucky enough to call you his?

"Does he know about Ambrose?" Bo questioned as he brushed some hair out of your face." He knows Ambrose exists and that it's somewhere in the south. I never told him what state." He nodded.

"We'll skip the grocery run for a bit and just stay in town. I don't want you to leave until you're ready to." You couldn't help but give a soft smile, still weak from crying.

Normally Bo would feel awkward about someone crying in front of him. If anyone did he'd give them an awkward pat on the shoulder and then avert his eyes. He felt natural at comforting you, albeit a bit rusty. He smiled at you.

"That's my pretty girl. Now, I remember you mentioning wanting to see Lester. Do you want me to tell him to come over or do you just want some quiet time?"

You thought it over. "How about just some quiet time for now? Maybe we can invite him over later or tomorrow." You just wanted more one on one time with Bo. Bo felt his heart swell with pride. You wanted him to be there with you, nobody else. "I doubt Lester even remembers me." Bo shrugged slightly.

Bo never stopped mentioning you, even as he got older. Vincent heard the brunt of it but Lester caught your name ever so often. Bo talked about you like you hung the stars in the sky. As he got older the mentioning of your name became rare. At the same time, Bo had started retreating into himself. He had anger outbursts regularly. He also started drinking more.

"Well why don't you catch me up on what other stuff has happened since you left, darlin'?"

[dirty-bosmer]

~Writerly Thumbprint Challenge~

Rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. what are five (or more!) narrative elements, themes, topics or tropes that continuously pop up in your work?

Thanks to @thana-topsy for the tag! I was admittedly a bit intimidated by this one, but it was so illuminating. It's been a long time since I've taken a step back to evaluate my stories through a critical lens, and sometimes I forget what I've written 😅 I know a lot of people have already been tagged, so I'm tagging: @wispstalk @atypicalacademic @thequeenofthewinter @chennnington @rainpebble3 @justafoxhound @dumpsterhipster @skyrim-forever @sylvienerevarine @gilgamish @burningsilence

I'm a baby writer. Only two fics, both TES. Here is what I came up with:

1. An Inner Darkness, A Downward Spiral — Most of my OCs have a secret (sometimes not-so-secret) viscousness that's always simmering under the surface, threatening to ooze free. They're not necessarily mean, but they're not good people. They may not be evil, but they all do very bad things. Why? Because 1) thieving and necromancing and murder for hire are kinda fun in-game, and if our Hero is doing all of that while saving the world, it needs to be explained with something other than whimsy lol, and 2) I like the challenge of writing morally grey characters who are flawed and fucked up and unforgivable while simultaneously asking readers to root for them. I've found it quite difficult to make them likable and deserving of sympathy while not overlooking their wrongdoings or writing them inconsistently, but it makes for such interesting conflict.

2. The Pursuit of Knowledge — My protagonists and their close friends are mage-nerds because I am a nerd, and perhaps this is a case of it's easier to write what's close to home?? I love University settings and the looseness of the elder scrolls magic system. There is so much great lore to work with but in many cases it's not so rigid that you can't also twist it and grow it and shape it to your own desire. Knowledge is power as the Telvanni say. Most of my protagonists are not physically strong and rely on cunning and/or magic for defense. In that way, knowledge is the primary avenue by which they assert control over the world around them, which facilitates a lot of conversations surrounding the ethics of magical use cause well... given the way my OCs use it, it deserves to be questioned.

3. Identity — How does a character perceive themselves? How does this compare to what is perceived by those around them? I love exploring the discrepancies between these two and often write arcs that involve a character breaking through the facades they've constructed to conform to what is expected of them and/or shield themselves from the discomfort they feel in their own skin.

4. Loneliness, A Desperate Need for Love — I write characters who have been placed or place themselves on the fringes of society, yet long for acceptance and a place to belong. This leads to a lot of unhealthy and messy relationships, both familial, platonic, and romantic. Often times they hurt people they care about. They let others hurt them too, but it's okay as long as they're not alone, right? It's angst all the way to the top baby.

5. Romance is not the End Goal — Yeah, my work features ships. I'd say it's actually a huge part of the stories, but mostly because the relationships my characters are involved in "fail." People break up or they die tragically. They become incompatible and move on (sometimes lol). Maybe they endure, but romantic love is not the only kind nor the highest valued, and most importantly, I want to write characters whose self-worth is not tied up in whether they're loved by someone else.

Bonus is Awkard Bisexual Losers because all my OCs are cringe-fail and have no game.

This was such an informative exercise! I encourage everyone to take a stab at it. Please tag me if you do. I'm so excited to see what you come up with :))

[lloydfrontera]

Haven't even finished either story yet (just reading both at the same time and eagerly consuming spoilers - for tged since there is basically NOTHING for the sequel 😭), but I'm still thinking about what an au where Lloyd's swordsman guard is Damian and rakiel is stuck w Javier would be like...

bestie you're telling me i went from a fandom with 100k fics to one with 1k to one with 100 to one with 0 i am starving over here 😭 i think i'm literally the only one in the tag for rakiel and i don't care for twitter so tumblr is my one contact with the tged fandom at all and the situation is,,, dire,,,

y'know i had written a pretty lengthy and thoughtful response about how i think lloyd and damian would respond to each other according to their character and circumstances but then my computer turned off and i lost it so instead you get this:

they both get where the other is coming from, they understand each other perfectly. doesn't mean they have to like it!

lloyd is trying to get out from life ruining debt! he can't afford to have a knight with a high salary who demands bonuses and raises constantly! damian is coming from nigh slavery, of course he wants to have financial security in any way he can get it! they both know the worth of money, how important it is to have it and to demand what you're owed so of course they're simultaneously in the same boat while being directly opposed.

not that i'm saying lloyd is a bad boss, he's very fair and just, always paying on time (something damian actually calls rakiel out on lmao) but he's a penny pincher and likes to save as much as possible. which is something i do see damian having a bit of an issue with because one of the things he really likes about rakiel is how generous he is with people, both with his time, effort and resources despite seemingly getting nothing for himself (of course not knowing about the bonus life lol). and we know lloyd does nothing for free and is shameless about it. so their relationship would be them constantly butting heads as they both try to squeeze as much of each other as possible.

on the other hand, i think lloyd would actually have an easier time getting damian to like him than with javier actually lmao. like, let's be honest, damian isn't the paragon of virtue javier is. as long as he's getting paid and isn't being asked to, idk, burn down an orphanage, he's pretty down for anything. heck, he didn't give a shit about rakiel, the imperial crown prince, being replaced by someone else, because he liked the other guy so he wouldn't give a flying fuck about og!lloyd, recognized hooligan, being replaced by someone who actually cares about the estate he works for.

and damian would be much more direct with lloyd too. he would not keep it to himself if he knew about lloyd being kim suho, that boy would tell him the first opportune moment he got lmao now the question is whether lloyd would come clean or go total denial the way rakiel did,,,, mmmhhhh many thoughts for later,,,

and javier as rakiel's bodyguard! mmmhhhh now this au would require a lot of thought, because so many things of the plot depend of rakiel using the asrahan mana absorption method. but if we go by vibes alone and ignore all worldbuilding, the i think,,,, mmmmhhh what do i think actually,,,,

well honestly to begin with i don't think there'd be too much trouble actually. like. at all. javier is,,, javier. he's thee protagonist, he's good, he's honorable, he's all you can ask for from a main character. he gets rescued from the gladiator arena by rakiel, you better believe he'd pledge his life to him from there. and like, unless we want to make him a carbon copy of damian, then he wouldn't even ask for a big salary like damian did. he'd just stick to rakiel and protect him at all costs. we see how loyal he is in tkbi and tged, he gets saved by arcos and he never serves another master after that, he decides he wants to protect lloyd and he literally ascends to another plane of existence to do it. if rakiel rescued him, there'd be no power on earth that would make him leave his side. and that would only increase as he sees rakiel push himself over and over again to treat and save people by seemingly no reason but that he wants too (again, no one knows about the bonus life lmao). he'd push himself just as hard to be helpful to rakiel and protect him, like he does in tged with lloyd and like damian does too.

and in this particular au i don't even see him having an issue with the whole 'replaced by another person' thing. after all, in tged the point of conflict was that javier is a knigh for the frontera family, not just for lloyd. so it was technically his duty to let arcos know that someone had replaced his son, even if that someone had saved them all from total ruin. but he didn't, because he trusts lloyd and because he thought they deserved to heard it from lloyd himself first.

but in this case, javier would be rakiel's bodyguard. he isn't anything from the emperor, he isn't even a knight, heck, he never even met the real prince, as far as he's concerned he's only loyal to the rakiel he knows which is lee han. he has no reason to be conflicted because he swore loyalty to lee han and lee han is his prince rakiel.

oh and he would hate javilon's guts. utter hatred. like it's on sight for him go straight for the neck lmao

somehow i think he'd be even more protective of rakiel than he is already of lloyd. like lloyd can handle himself pretty well. rakiel can too, but he looks like a strong gust of win will blow him away. it messes with his brain chemistry a little.

and he'd take being the vessel for the demon king pretty hard. especially when he accidentally hurts rakiel. and when he gets sick. like that'd be pretty close to how damian reacts in the novel too.

as for rakiel,,,, i have a harder time deciding how he'd feel about javier. i feel like pretty much the way he does with damian?? i don't think much would change tbh. much of the banter between rakiel and damian comes from damian asking for more bonuses and rakiel complaining about it, and if javier doesn't do that then they'd have to find something else to bicker about. probably rakiel's terrible stamina lmao

so,,, yeah aksdka

[hopeswriting]

ok so i was just reading your tags on a post talking about skull/reborn and i kinda wanna know how you think their relationship would work or the kinda writing you trust for them? (i kinda wanna write my own skull/reborn fic lol but wanna keep them in character while doing so)

hi, thank you for the ask!

okay so, i’ve only written this ship substantially like twice myself lol (tho i’m not unfamiliar with writing their dynamic as i’ve written my fair share of poly!arco fics), so i wouldn’t call myself a specialist of them, but i do like to think i have a good grasp on both their characters. and my issue is that fanon doesn’t often get them right in and of themselves to begin with, and so of course when writing them together/about their dynamic, it inevitably gets them wrong. (imo anyway, and here’s the disclaimer that this is all of course only my personal opinion, which everyone is welcome to discuss!)

i don’t think it’s on the fans tho! the way i see it they’re canonically kinda tricky to pin down to begin with, both individually and together. reborn is because even if he’s the co-protagonist, he’s all about being the one in control, the one remaining steady and unfazed no matter what, and the anchor and guiding force of tsuna’s, and by proxy of most of everything that happens in the manga too. which means it’s easy to reduce him to that know-it-all, perfect-at everything, better-than-everyone-else god-like figure, and to overlook the other facets of his personality that nuance that side of him (because i do think that god-like writing he’s often given is definitely in character for him to some extent, don’t get me wrong), because in comparison they appear a lot less often throughout the manga. and even if you do take them into account, it’s hard to pin down when and how and how much reborn allows those other aspects of himself to come out.

skull’s tricky simply because we got very little about him, making him almost a blank canvas, so it’s easier to just make that canvas into whatever we need it to be, while overlooking or disregarding the little we did get about him. and when you do try to take it into account, we got so little about him it’s hard to extrapolate on it to a substantial extent, or draw a pattern between them to get an idea of what being “in character” would even mean for him.

meanwhile when you write them together, i think their dynamic is actually less tricky and just plainly misunderstood. like we can all agree they’re canonically on bad terms, or that there’s beef between them at the very least, canon makes it pretty clear. it’s also pretty easy to guess why that is, but where most people lose me is on the how it all comes together to them having the dynamic they have in canon. and basically, not only there's no actual hate or animosity between them, i think more importantly there’s no disrespect between them or any intention to hurt.

now the last two ones were mostly about reborn, because no matter how he may (purposefully) act or what he may say, if you look closely it’s clear he actually doesn’t question skull’s place among the arco, nor does he question the fact he has the skills to back it up, even if, yes, he’s simultaneously aware skull is the weakest of them, and uses that fact to make fun of him and shape the way he acts with him. he does only make fun of him tho, because reborn’s intention is never to actually hurt him or be cruel with him or look down on him, etc, etc. he only ever means to tease.

which doesn’t mean skull still isn’t hurt by the way he acts with him or doesn’t resent him for it, because he very much is and does. but i don’t think it’s the kind of hurt depicted in most fics that’d make him leave the arco or other such extreme reactions or show of rejection. because yes there’s no actual hate or animosity between them, but also more importantly there’s comradeship between them, just as there is between the other arco, whatever you think comradeship means here. reborn and skull do care about each other.

so like, it’s all about boundaries, instead of them taking an issue with each other’s personality the way it’s often made to be in fics. because being both aware of the other’s background (reborn being mafia to his core and skull being a former civilian), they both get and understand and respect where the other comes from being the way they are, that’s not the issue between them. but then reborn thinks he was able to infer all on his own where skull’s boundaries are, and thinks they both tacitly met each other in the middle, but meanwhile instead of skull assuming he just doesn’t know better and correcting him about it, he assumes reborn does it on purpose because he doesn’t acknowledge him. and this is where it gets super funny because they apparently never got the opportunity to clear that one misunderstanding between them for, like, decades lmao. like, by the time the manga ends they’re still misunderstanding each other, and still aren’t even aware of it to be able to do anything about it. 😭😂😂

not sure if that was all very clear? but if it wasn’t, i actually already got the opportunity to talk about this in this reblog chain about fanon!reborn where we also got to talk about his dynamic with skull! here’s another one about his dynamic with skull, and this one adds onto why i think fanon!reborn isn’t, in fact, in character for canon!reborn. and because this is also relevant and helps to get the full picture of where i’m coming from with this post, here’s my thoughts on skull and how to write him in character.

so to answer your question, i personally think that for their relationship to work, they both need to first realize they started on the wrong foot and have yet to do anything about it, while in the meantime still making them care about each other. that is, only in the cases where you want them to be on better terms with each other of course. as far as just writing their dynamic as it is in canon, you just need to write the strains in their relationship not because they don’t like each other or anything of the sort, but because they’re wrongly assuming the wrong things about each other.

and likewise for the type of writing i trust with them. for me it has to be one that takes care to keep the balance between all those different aspects of their dynamic, and how their respective personality affects it too one way or another. it has to keep the balance between “hey, i do care about you and i’ve literally no intention to hurt you, never had” and “hey, you’re still very much hurting me, and i’m hurt even more because you don’t seem to care about it even when i’m repeatedly telling you you are hurting me??” and “i hear you but also not because this is one of those times my high self-esteem is backfiring against me, and so i’m not even considering the thought i might be wrong about how i’m definitely not crossing your boundaries” and “yeah, this sure is one of those times you being among the best of the best backfires against you, because i’m not even considering the thought you’re not purposefully going out of your way to hurt me, and aren’t well aware you are hurting me”.

and when i say their personalities also affect their dynamic, it’s how you also need to keep the balance between “you’re a former civilian, so of course you react and are affected more strongly to the way i am, but that doesn’t mean you’re still not aware i mean no harm like everyone else” and “you’re mafia to your core, so of course you don’t care to treat me any less roughly/violently than you usually treat people, even knowing i’m a former civilian because you’re likely looking down on me for it” and “from my mafia’s pov i’m definitely meeting you in the middle here, what do you mean you want me to try harder??” and “from my former civilian’s pov this doesn’t look like the middle at all, and wow, you really don’t care about how hard i’m already trying to be up to your standards, huh?”.

and this is where i think it’s tricky to get their dynamic right, because the thing is those assumptions they make about each other are all based on true facts they know for a fact about each other. reborn is mafia to his core and presumably has been all his life, while skull is a former civilian and became mafia only later in his life when he was chosen to be an arco. but instead of them putting both these facts together and going “okay well, there’s no way meeting each other in the middle would mean the same thing for the both of us, and there’s no way we can just accurately guess what it means for the other without explicitly talking about it, so let’s do that first things first”, we got all of the above instead.

also one last thing tho you might not need it, but even in what i call the good timeline arco fics where they start on the right foot right away, this is still worth keeping in mind. not all of it of course, but reborn being mafia while having the personality he has, and skull being a former civilian while having the personality he has will always shape their dynamic no matter what. the same way it’d shape skull’s dynamic with any other character that wasn’t a former civilian too of course, the other arco namely come to mind, but we’re talking about reborn here, you know lol. and not only that, but i think reborn in particular is really the perfect example of this.

hope this helped, and good luck with your fic!

[serenanymph]

author ask tag game

tagged by @scribbling-stardust! you can find her post here. putting this whole thing under the cut because boy is it Long. as for the tag... uh whoever I've tagged below who wants to hop in ig (no pressure tho!!)

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it? Honestly my themes kind of grow from the story instead of the other way around, but overall I'd say it's something along the lines of discrimination and how dangerous hate can be. (<< sounds cool, has no idea how she's going to actually write this) But I will say there's a lot of like - mini themes in it too, because each character has their own issues and needs to learn different things to grow. Stuff about communication, about self-care, about finding yourself, about courage, etc etc. Very scattered, ik.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)? I'd say there's a lot of like?? Mythological creatures?? Y'know the classics like vampires and werewolves and selkies and what not. And then I just. Turn it all on its head. All the myths of them still exist in-universe - they're just wildly inaccurate because humans have been passing the stories down for decades. In actuality, Beasts are much more different. (Also and this is rather embarrassing to admit, but I've been stealing aHeM taking inspiration for characters from all of the media I've been watching. Which is. Mostly anime. Plus some worldbuilding details from fanfic aus I've thought up.)

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? Honestly? I have no idea. As of now, he's mostly trying to survive. I think the issue with Crys is that largely he's not someone who actually has a goal he wants to achieve?? The growth he experiences is not a thing he really decides he wants, but more something he needs, which the narrative basically has to drag him into. As for me... mostly I just want to write my stories and have them reach someone somewhere. It's probably the same for a lot of us who share those stories.

How many chapters is your story going to have? No idea. 40-something?? 50??? I always underestimate my end wordcount and my chapters vary wildly in length.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? Original content!! I've been thinking about tweaking some stuff in Crow Wings (book 1) after I've finished first drafting Witch's Book (book 2), then I'll probably throw it up on ao3 and maybe simultaneously post it here.

When and why did you start writing? Sometime when I was a kid I think?? I'm pretty sure I was vaguely upset and bored and then I just picked up a pencil and started going at it. It was titled 'Survival' and it was basically a ripoff of I Am Number Four, littered with grammar and spelling mistakes, and all the cringefail, mary sue tropes small me could think up. I kid you not, the main character was named Emma, she had blond hair and blue eyes, and she was so good at fighting she was better at it then boys, even. Gasp!! Color me surprised!!!!! Anyway I still have it with me due to nostalgia reasons but it is hidden in my drawer under my bed where the light of day will never reach. Don't judge me, I was like nine.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow? We're all friends here and we're all still learning, so don't be afraid to share your work!! Something you feel might not be "good enough" is a story someone out there will love - and take it from a person with low self-confidence, your writing's often not as bad as you think! :D (also c'mon. it can't be worse than what nine-year-old me thought up.) As for writers... well I am following a lot of people but I'm just gonna tag a few of my mutuals. There's @lyssa-ink (my first ever writeblr mutual!!! she does fantasy with a lot of immortals, fae and court politics), and also @reneesbooks (go check out lacuna. birdie is adorable and jack is so funny to me). Also @macabremoons (vampires. lots of vampires. also super fun to talk to!!!), @sidhewrites (love graveyard lesbians. kaz is an absolute disaster and lucy is just so!!!), and @loopyhoopywrites (the Ex-Quest is peak comedy. every excerpt I read leaves me wheezing). I don't talk as much with @space-writes, @e-klair, @sapphos-scientist or @squarebracket-trick, but they're all lovely, talented writers and I really appreciate that they let me yell about Beast at them!!! There's also @scribbling-stardust (one of my most recent moots. her oc dahlia and my oc dahlia are literally twins. it's hilarious). Lastly, closing off with @allianaavelinjackson, who isn't very active on tumblr but is nonetheless always available to brainstorm (read: listen to me go insane) over Beast. Love ya <3