#the way tags work here is simultaneously so good and so bad for me

[liquifiedfurby]

literally giggling and kicking my feet rn from researching birds.

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

Ready to Love

The three times that Chan uses bad pickup lines on you, and the one time it finally works.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption. Bad pickup lines lol

This is part of the Three Times series. This one is inspired by this reaction.

One

Some would say you’re a bit of a wallflower. You like to stay out of the chaos, like to keep to yourself a little bit more than most. Your friends, like Wonwoo, tell you all the time that that’s not a flaw, but it certainly feels like it is at parties like this when you both blend in and stick out like a sore thumb simultaneously. You’ve tagged along with Wonwoo but have faded into the wallpaper for most of the night. The drinks are bad in a way that the more you have the better they taste. And a refill is where you’re headed to right now to get through the rest of the night.

You’re pouring some more mystery punch in your cup when Lee Chan approaches you, smiling. You give him a polite smile back because you’ve met him a handful of times at things like this. “Hey Y/N,” he’s grinning wildly. “You can get off the dating apps, because I’m here now!”

You blink once, twice, and spill a little punch on your hand. “I’m… not on any dating apps.” 

“Oh, good!” He says, overjoyed. 

“Oh… okay, then. Will you excuse me?” You squirm away from the counter and beeline for Wonwoo, who raises an eyebrow at your speedy return to hide behind him.

“Are you good?”

“Lee Chan… hit on me?” You pose it as a question because it sounds crazy. 

Wonwoo looks entertained. "Did he now? Then why are you hiding behind me?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” You ask blankly. 

Wonwoo sighs, tossing an arm around you. “Dare I say that you’re more awkward than me. That’s quite a feat.”

Two

Wonwoo and Mingyu are hosting a game night at their place. You aren’t competitive and have no bad feelings about being the first out the game. It gives you an excuse to raid the dessert that was brought in. You’re sneaking a fork into the slice of cake as Chan sneaks up to you. “Hey, Y/N!” Chan says cheerfully. You jump, gripping the fork like a weapon, huffing up at him. 

“Hi, Chan,” you mumble.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9, and I’m the 1 you need.” He’s got that stupid grin on his face again, and you blink at him some more, just like last time. Then you're just confused. 

“Chan, at no point as anyone ever said you’re a one.”

His grin somehow gets wider. “Oh? What would I be then?”

You stammer with no answer rattling around in your head. There’s a large crash from the other room and game pieces are scattered across the floor from Seungkwan swiping everything off the table in a fit of rage. “New game!” Jeonghan cries. “Y/N, Chan, are you in?”

You scramble back to the table and are so relieved that you’re sitting nowhere near Chan and can hide your red face behind Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo pats your shoulder, saying ‘there, there’, though you know he’s not sympathetic at all based on how entertained he looks.

Three

You’re attending one of their concerts. Wonwoo regularly gets you tickets when you’re free and often invites you to hang out with them backstage before and after the show. Security at this venue already knows you well, so they send on you on back to the green room when the show is over. 

Chan is standing out in the hallway when you approach. He looks up and smiles at you, waving. “Hey, Y/N.”

You brace yourself, because you can never predict what’s going to come out of his mouth lately. Still, you smile a little and say, “Great show, as usual.”

“Eh, I was a little distracted. I saw that you were in the crowd tonight.”

You give him a wide look. “Oh, why? I’m at a lot of shows.”

“I know,” Chan snorts. “You spend so much time in my mind that I should charge you rent.” He’s reduced you to furious blinking yet again. 

“I’m… sorry? I’m too broke for that.”

Chan belts out a laugh. “I said I should charge you, not that I would. Ready to go in?”

You blankly nod, following him into the green room. 

Four

It’s another party tonight and you are not really feeling it. You’re sitting out back by the pool to escape the crush inside. “Aren’t you cold?” Chan joins you, sitting by the pool. 

“No. What are you doing out here?” You ask, voice a little chilly. Besides the crowd, seeing him talk to another woman inside with his wide grin makes you sad in a way that you can’t explain. You can imagine the horrible pickup lines he might be giving them and whatever you thought might be just for you seems to not be. You have no right to feel upset about it so you’ve retreated to the backyard.

Chan shrugs. “You weren’t inside.”

“You have plenty of company inside. It’s okay, you can go back in. I might just head home.”

He’s smiling at you still, but looks confused. “Are you ready for another one?” You give him a blank look. “If I were a cat, I’d spend all of my nine lives on you.”

It’s just as ridiculous as any of the others he’s given you over the last few weeks, but there’s something sweet about this one that makes you burst out laughing. “Where do you get these?” You ask, wiping your eyes. 

“Google,” he says simply, wide smile on his face. It makes you giggle again.

“And you decided to try them on me? What, am I a tough nut to crack or something? If it works for me it will work on anyone?” You don’t mean it negatively, in fact you’re seeing a lot of humor in it now that you’re past some of the confusion. But his smile drops, looking confused again.

“Oh no. I save them all for you. I have many more to try if you want to hear them.”

Your confusion is back. “What’s the end goal here?” 

“To get you to like me, maybe go out with me.” You’ve always admired his confidence, especially right now when he says something like that so boldly, without an ounce of nervousness.

“How many more do you have?” You ask eventually, lips quirking up in the corners. 

He’s laughing somewhat maniacally, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “How long do you have?”

“As long as you can keep them coming.” 

You two are some of the last people to leave the party and you wake up to a pickup line in your unread text messages the next day. And the next. And the next…

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

between the lines

↖ navigation: seventeen masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: dormmate! woozi x gn! reader

↬ tags: bringing the 96 liners into this because i can, pining + longing, love is blind yada yada <3, quite wholesome towards the end

summary: through unspoken thoughts and harmless meddling, both you and jihoon get caught in the midst of your friends playful matchmaking

word count: 1.1k words

a/n: i posted it a whole day later ,, i thought today was the 1st of august… ㅠㅠ

jihoon wanted to get close to you. but the only thing stopping him was just that he was bad at initiating anything, especially when it came to things concerning you. unlike his friends who seemed to so easily befriended you. he sadly thinks that his love language might just be existing.

soonyoung displayed his affections with physical banter, oftentimes grabbing you and roughing you up playfully. you didn't mind it one bit, but jihoon did when his chest tightened at the sight of you leaning against soonyoung almost willingly as the male scrolls through his phone and shows it to you. or when you linked arms with soonyoung as the two of you strolled, leaving jihoon trailing behind.

the ever so brotherly junhwi was like a big sibling figure: upon your request, jun always never hesitated to do anything for you within reason. acts of service was something jun excelled at; on the other hand jihoon's dejection simmered beneath his skin when you walked past him towards jun, asking for his help even though jihoon could have done it too.

you sought wonwoo to spend time together. every time he thought of asking you to do passive things together, you had claimed to be spending time with wonwoo instead. wonwoo and you clicked because of the games you two played, but outside of gaming you two also do school work together in comfortable silence.

in conclusion, he's bad at expressing his feelings that he wanted to be with you. he found it confusing himself too, not being able to put a feeling as to why he always desired to spend time with you, to hold your hand, to do things for you.

funny thing was that, his friends knew about his way-too-obvious crush, and have been devising so many ways for you two to be alone together. call it brothers for brothers, or something.

jihoon zones back into the present: it was a movie night after finals and you had suggested to host a sleepover with the rest of them. wonwoo lightly bumps shoulders with jihoon; a curt nod, and a small grin.

junhwi unpacks all the food and exclaims in displeasure (jihoon thinks it was a bit too much), "we didn't get the drinks!" sooyoung makes a show of sighing (a little too loudly), "dang i was just getting thirsty for some cola..."

"i can go get them!" you offered unknowingly and jihoon perked up. his three friends looked at each other, as if their brains were firing off signals simultaneously and jihoon immediately claims, "i'll go down too, you guys can set up the area."

"yeah that would be good. we aren't too familiar with the neighborhood here." wonwoo adds on, sealing the deal. (jihoon never thought he'd see the stoic wonwoo trying his best to fight off a playful smirk)

with a recycle bag slung on jihoon's shoulder, the two of you headed out as the evening sun started to dip. "i'm glad finals are over." you light-heartedly started the conversation, beaming a little when jihoon reciprocates with his shy smile, "me too. it's been a while since we last saw them too."

silence blanketed you two again, and jihoon started getting fidgety as the convenience store emerged as both of you turned left. you glanced at the male, "jihoon, do you have something to say to me?" his shocked expression betrayed him with a mere statement from you.

you soften your eyes, "is this about the laundry? if it is, then i'm sorry, i knew it was my responsibility and i've been just so cooped up with all the tests and everything, and i know that you're a stickler for hygiene and i--" jihoon notices a whizzing cyclists pedaling downslope and immediately drags you towards him, "watch it!"

you let out a gentle "oof" at the sudden impact and jihoon hopes his heart wasn't beating too loudly. you moved away from him almost as quickly as he pulled you in.

"you okay?" his hands were still lightly grasping yours and your face flushed under his scrutiny, "yeah. you can let go of me now." jihoon's reluctance seemed to catch your eye too, "did you mean to talk about something else?"

dang it, you and your perception.

jihoon glanced down at his hand intertwined with yours, "why can't i link arms with you like you do with soonyoung?" you were mildly taken aback by the sudden question, but jihoon pressed on, "or when you got jun to do things for you when i could do them too? i'm your roommate, not him. certainly you don't need him to move your shelf when i was around."

you stared back at him with an unreadable expression and jihoon abashedly looks at the ground, "and when you spend time with wonwoo instead of me, i feel like i've been...left out. i don't know, tell me if i'm reading too much into this or maybe..."

he hears your sudden laughter amidst his worries and he thinks you might have lost it. you wiped away a tear from the sheer amount of force it took you when you started chuckling, "i didn't think this day would come. i like you, lee jihoon. like, a lot."

jihoon sputters, "this entire time?" you averted your gaze, "i just wanna ask if...maybe you do have feelings for me?"

"i do, for as long as i've met you and i..." you pecked him on the cheek and rocked back on your heels, "then that's all i wanted to hear."

if jihoon could combust right now, he would. he noticed how your blushing face mirrored his and he pulled you in for a hug: this time it was far from anything like that of two friends embracing.

"the things you mentioned: about soonyoung, he's just naturally clingy like that, but i thought maybe if i got closer to him it would make you jealous. same with jun, or more like he offered and i decided to test you a little to see if i was right. and for wonwoo, he was totally on board trying to rile you up."

you stopped your rambling and raised your hands as if to surrender, "i said my piece. the boys had a hand in all of these sneaky actions."

your words caused jihoon's mind to run at miles per hour, "but they told me they'd be 'wingmen' for me, and would try to create more opportunities for us to be alone together...?"

realization hit you. they've been instigating everything, orchestrating every action. "do you think they..."

"i think so." you confirmed his suspicions. hurriedly, you two entered the provision shop and bought the drinks, feet quickly carrying both of you back to the dorms to confront the three trouble makers.

the door bursts open at the impact, effectively shocking the three masterminds.

jun swallows his food comedically, "uh-oh." "seems like our plan worked out, huh?" wonwoo smirked as he leaned over to high-five an equally joyous soonyoung, "welcome back lovebirds!"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[nausikaaa]

Six Sentence Sunday

happy solstice, last day of saturnalia, and not-quite-almost christmas! i hope you're all having a nice holiday season. i'm at work pretty much every day until January, because pubs do well at christmas, which is why i've fallen so behind on reading other people's wip shares.

plus i've been keeping a close eye on my goats, since the girls, Juno, Lucy and Mina, are in with the billy, Hadrian. so far he has gotten lucky plenty, but the girls have come back round in season all the same. i know he can do the job because he did it last year, so it's just bad luck and i've got to keep my fingers crossed it will hold the second or third time.

anyhoo. thanks for the tags today and on wednesday @forabeatofadrum @that-disabled-princess @bookish-bogwitch and @artsyunderstudy!

today i have some more of my post-trojan war wip, with a preamble:

so basically, part of my story follows Briseis, Achilles' war bride, after the events of the Iliad, but there are no sources as far as i can find that say what happens to her. so, i had to plot out what reasonably could have happened, and i eventually figured that if she was legally considered his wife (which is complicated in and of itself- Achilles was already married, but bigamy was sometimes practised by Greek kings, and Patroclus promises Briseis in the Iliad to make Achilles marry her. my Briseis is pregnant, which makes these things simultaneously more and less complicated) she would travel with Neoptolemus, Achilles' son by that aforementioned other wife, and Phoenix, Achilles' old mentor, either of whom would likely have become her male guardian upon his death, to Phthia, Achilles' homeland, where she would become a ward of Peleus, Achilles' father and the patriarch of the child(ren) she is carrying.

so with that sorted: it's mentioned in some sources that after the war, Neoptolemus walked his army from Troy back to Greece, which was honestly a good call because the moment the Greeks set sail, they hit a storm, which sank Ajax's ship and killed him as punishment for him raping Cassandra in a temple, blew Helen and Menelaus off course to Egypt, and blew Odysseus off course too, and we all know that didn't go well for him. we know Phoenix took this journey too because it's noted he died and was buried along the way.

so, walking an entire army from Turkey to Greece. it's doable, it won't even take you that long, but you'll need to stop for supplies such as food. and that got me wondering, what the hell would an army have to buy food with? sure, they would probably be willing to part with some stolen booty, but it was a status symbol, they would want to hold onto the best stuff.

the answer is obvious, but unfortunate.

To some it was a relief to reach a town, but those of us who knew how the world worked were not so sure.

If the people were amenable, there would be trade for food and wine. And what did the Achaeans have in surplus to offer in exchange for such things?

If they were not so welcoming, the soldiers would simply attack, taking what they wanted, and the numbers of their one export would grow.

Women, always women, trading hands, pulled this way and that. Even the war that started it all was over a woman; who could own her, who could bed her.

tags/hellos/holiday well wishes: @cutestkilla @run-for-chamo-miles @roomwithanopenfire @prettygoododds @ic3-que3n @blackberrysummerblog @j-nipper-95 @youarenevertooold @larkral @orange-peony @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon @alexalexinii @confused-bi-queer @shrekgogurt @comesitintheclover @raenestee @hushed-chorus @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @noblecorgi @shemakesmeforget @ileadacharmedlife @supercutedinosaurs @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @ninemagicks @otherworldsivelivedin @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists @carryonmylovelies and @meanjeansjeans!

and for reading all this, here's Olive in her christmas outfit and the dogs in theirs!

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day zero

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : fluff

length : 3.2k

tags : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81

a/n : hi everyone!! I hope you'll enjoy this, comments and reblogs and asks are always more than appreciated!!

•••

day zero

Time moved differently on tour. It always had, as long as I’d worked on them. Go away for a week and it’ll simultaneously feel like you only left home yesterday and as if you’ve been on the road for a month straight. 15 days didn’t seem too bad this time around. I’d done double that, triple that, easily. I basked in the feeling of how it fucked with time perception. Days flying by so fast I couldn’t quite grasp it, memories so fleeting and yet so fully anchored to my being. At the same time, in between, I already knew that I’d have days where this tour felt like a lifetime. Too many places in too little time, so many faces, different venues, different people, fans, the same setlists every night. And afterward, life wouldn’t be quite the same. Not this time around.

•••

“There she is!”

Oli’s voice was much too loud in the hotel lobby. Several people turned around, even if I wasn’t sure if it was because they recognised him or simply because they were questioning who was being so damn loud in this rather nice place. He crossed the room in long strides as I quickly gave the receptionist a nod while she handed over my room key.

He looked different than the last time I’d seen him in person, which, admittedly, had been… a while. There had been constant texting, a familiar voice in my ear whenever I needed it, video calls at any opportunity, all based on a friendship we’d both worked hard to grow over the last decade or so, but lately both of us had been busy on such opposing schedules that any in-person meetings got delayed and delayed again.

Whenever he was on the road, I was stuck at a job far away and when I was working on a different local tour, he was busy recording in a different country. It was why he made sure that now, when he was embarking on a massive arena tour with his band and I was miraculously free for all of January, he got me a job allowing me to tag along. It was so much more than I could ask for.

Still. It had been longer than I’d like to admit since the two of us had met in person and none of the pictures I’d been looking at or the video calls we’d been chatting through had done Oli Sykes any justice. He’d been hitting the gym, I knew that much, but the way he now filled out his frame had me giving him a once over as he approached. His hair was longer now, too. He looked healthier, I thought. Healthier and happier.

At least I wasn’t crushing on him anymore. I had spent a good few years with a special place in your heart reserved just for him, well aware that it had never been reciprocated. Nothing had ever happened, save a few harmless flirtations here and there. One of us had always been in a relationship, had someone else on their mind or simply enjoying their single life. It wasn’t like he’d be interested in me either way, I told yourself. And I was over all of that, even if both of us actually were available at the same time for once. It didn’t matter.

I greeted Oli with a smile as both of us immediately went for a hug. He’d always been a very touchy person, something that had been feeding my crush in the most unhealthy ways, but as someone who was also constantly in a state of touch starvation, I appreciated it either way. His arms held me tightly. I was convinced I could feel every individual muscle under my fingers as they traced his back and I just knew he was smiling into my hair as he rested his head on mine, his perfume engulfing me, and-

Yeah, fuck. I wasn’t over him. Like, at all.

I let go of him a little too abruptly, terrified he could feel the way my heart rate was speeding up, but he didn’t mention it. The weight of my realisation was hitting me hard.

I was going to have to spend the next two and a half weeks with him, as close as ever. And I was going to be crushing on him as much as ever. Great.

“Thank you for getting me on this tour,” I said anyway because truly, having someone basically fight to create a job for me just to make sure I could tag along and get paid for it out of pure friendship wasn’t something I was taking for granted. It wasn’t Oli’s fault my feelings weren’t under control.

“I’ll have you know that I missed three meetings to convince them that I needed a personal assistant to keep me on track.”

“Damn, so I’ll actually have to interact with you and make sure you are where you need to be at all times?” I joked.

“You also get to go on burger runs after the show. You’re basically my slave now.”

I decided to ignore the way his statement makes a shiver run down my spine. He didn’t need to know how far my services would extend, if he ever asked for it.

“Everyone in the tour group chat is making fun of me by the way. They’ve all very lovingly changed my contact name to ‘Oli’s slut’, so you’re not that far off.”

“Wait, there’s a groupchat I’m not part of?” Oli was halfway to pulling out his phone, apparently shocked at the idea that other people working this tour would connect without him being the centre of attention or even included at all, but he was interrupted.

The interruption came in the form of Noah Sebastian, tall, all smiles, and, somehow, even more beautiful in person than I’d gathered he would be from pictures and videos. One of his hands came to rest on Oli’s shoulder, making him look up with a bright smile, as the other reached out to me.

“Noah Sebastian,” he introduced himself, as if there was any chance I could possibly not be aware. “I sing in Bad Omens.”

“Hi! I’m Oli’s slut.” A brief pause. Panic as I gripped his hand tighter upon realising just which words had left my mouth. “No! Wait! Personal assistant! Oh my god. Aubrey. That’s my name.”

I couldn’t tell whose laughter was louder out of the two of them, but I was mortified. This was possibly the worst first impression I had ever made. And I’d made a lot of them.

“Where did you find her?” Noah laughed. “I like her already.”

Oli slung his arm around me, pressing my blushing face to his chest. I both wanted to burrow myself into the fabric of his hoodie and withdraw immediately before the heat in my cheeks got any worse.

“Oh, years ago, mate. She’s a keeper. A little socially inept though, obviously.”

“I fucking hate you,” I mumbled as I untangled myself from Oli. “I’m gonna go to my room and hide away until I’ve learned how to behave in public again.”

Grabbing my bag from off the floor and double checking that the key card I’d been handed hadn’t, somehow, vanished into the abyss, I turned to take the handle of my suitcase only to find it was already in Noah’s hand.

“I’m going to join you,” he said. I didn’t miss the way Oli raised his eyebrows. “In going upstairs, I mean, not going to your room. I’m… very jetlagged.”

“You two are a right pair,” Oli commented with a chuckle and a shake of his head. “This is going to be a great fucking tour.”

•••

“Is this the first tour you’re working on?”

I stopped at the door leading to my hotel room, Noah coming to a halt next to me and pushing my suitcase in my general direction. I was unreasonably nervous. Somehow, even though we were in a pretty public hallway in a pretty public hotel, no one else was around. I hadn’t counted on being alone with him so quickly, even if it was possibly the least conspicuous situation imaginable. Leaning back against the door, I fumbled with the keycard to keep my hands preoccupied.

“Oh no, I’ve done my fair share, actually. It’s how I met Oli, years ago, on one of the first jobs I ever had. I’ve mainly been doing merch or helping out as someone’s assistant, usually a tour manager’s. When he found out I was going to be free for this tour, he really wanted to get me on it, but they’d filled all positions already, so he convinced management that he needed a personal assistant. And here I am!”

“What’s that entail then? Your job? I might be in the business of hiring a personal assistant for myself, some time in the future.”

The way he was towering over me as he leaned against the wall, a smirk on his lips, eyes travelling over my face… was he flirting with me? I’d always been terrible at telling. Especially when it came to attractive people. There was a constant fear my interpretations could just be down to wishful thinking.

“Knowing Oli, it’s probably going to be a lot of running around to fetch him food and the most random assortments of items that he suddenly needs for no reason whatsoever. Other than that, I’m responsible for kicking his ass and keeping him on time for everything. I’m allowed to use physical force if necessary, he gave me that in writing. I’m definitely going to enjoy that part.”

“Sounds like Oli’s your slut, to be honest.”

If there had been any liquid anywhere near my mouth, I would have done a spit take. The implications of it, as well as the tone of his low voice muttering the word slut was enough to do me in. There wasn’t, though, so I simply gaped at Noah for a moment before erupting into laughter.

“You know, it really does. I’m going to remember that. Don’t tell him though. He likes to think he’s the dominant one in this situation.”

Noah pushed himself away from the wall, giving me another smile that sent shivers down my spine, before turning to walk away. “I can’t wait to see you put him in his place. I’m going to be watching.”

•••

The room was nicer than any I had ever been put in while working on a tour and, even more importantly, I wasn’t sharing it with anyone. I didn’t know what kind of strings Oli had pulled to make this happen, but I would thank him thoroughly for it. In any way he deemed acceptable.

I shook the thought from my head.

It didn’t work.

So, I did the only thing that made sense. I called my best friend.

“Lia, I’m in fucking trouble,” was the first thing I said to her. We’d never been too fond of greetings.

“Did you get arrested before tour even started again?” Her voice came through the phone, somewhere between accusatory and amused.

“That never happened! It was a case of mistaken identity and they let me go immediately. Anyway. No. My problem is that I want to fuck my boss.”

“And that’s news to you how?” she scoffed.

“Lia!”

“What! How is it any secret, or ever has been, that you want to bone Oli Sykes?”

I fell down onto my bed in defeat. It was extremely comfortable, which did ease my pain momentarily. I would get an amazing night’s sleep here.

“I thought I was over it,” I whined. “I thought I was going to be fine but he’s fit as fuck and I’m gonna have to spend every fucking day with him. Never mind Noah.”

“Noah? Okay, now you have my attention.”

“I didn’t have it before? Rude.”

“Less complaining, more talking about Noah please.”

“He’s fucking dreamy, I’ll tell you that. And a flirt. I think? I’ve yet to determine it for sure. And I’ve only seen him and Oli interact once but Oli looks at him like the sun shines from his arse so he’ll probably be around all the time, too.”

Lia didn’t say anything for a long, long moment. Long enough that I pulled the phone from my ear briefly just to check that the connection hadn’t dropped. When she finally spoke again, she sounded much more serious than I’d heard her in a while.

“Aubrey. I know I make fun of you a lot.” True. “And I know that I don’t always give the best advice.” Also true, sometimes painfully so. “But I love you and you need to listen to me for once, yeah? Have some fucking fun.”

I had to admit, that wasn’t the advice I thought I was going to hear.

“You have this weird thing about not allowing yourself to let loose and enjoy yourself but I’m giving you explicit permission. Do whatever feels right. Flirt with anyone who’s attractive to you and wants to flirt back. Make a move on Oli. Make a move on Noah. I don’t fucking care. But stop depriving yourself of happiness because you, for some unexplainable reason, think you don’t deserve it. Please, Aubrey. Have some fun on this tour. Okay?”

I was dumbstruck. For a while, I didn’t know what to say, but Lia stayed silent, waiting it out. Waiting until her words seeped into my brain. Started to make sense. And I knew. I knew she was right. I’d been focused on chasing after job opportunities, constantly trying to prove myself, travelling from one place to another, and never had I stopped and taken a moment to allow myself to really be happy. I hadn’t had a relationship since… I didn’t want to think about it. Hell, I hadn’t even touched anyone in forever. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gotten drunk, stayed out until sunlight, sang my heart out, let go.

And this tour… Oli had given me the job because he wanted to hang out with me. I didn’t have anything to prove. So I took a breath. And I told Lia a single word.

“Okay.”

•••

I was almost asleep, clad in a pair of shorts and an old shirt and covered under the blanket, when my phone chimed with the tell-tale jingle I’d assigned to Oli. He was my boss, after all. I felt like I should at least make an effort to make sure I’d notice his attempts to contact me, even if it only came in the form of a personalised ringtone.

Oli u up? Aubrey Is this a booty call Oli come over

I knew I didn't have a good enough reason to refuse. Double checking that I had noted down his room number, I grabbed my key card and phone and quickly padded down the hallway, thanking the lords that no one bumped into me. Oli opened the door the second I put my knuckles against it to knock. He didn't waste any time pulling me into the room and onto his bed by my hand.

“Wow, forward much? Normally I at least get dinner before jumping into bed with someone,” I joked.

“Love, I’ve taken you out for food so many times, you should get on your knees without me having to ask.”

I landed a good slap to the back of his head for his comment. It seemed better than to acknowledge the fact that I would, definitely, without question, get on my knees for him, and now my head was once again flooded with inappropriate images. Settling on the mattress next to him, I tried not to get too close to Oli, which shouldn’t have been a difficult feat on a double bed, but as soon as he had grabbed his laptop again, he shuffled so close that his thigh was touching mine.

“Can I show you some stuff?” he asked, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in my heart, as he was rapidly opening and closing tabs on his laptop. I simply nodded, waiting for him to continue. “I know you’re going to see most of it tomorrow, I made sure the sound tech people are cool with you staying at the sound desk if you want so you can get a good look at the whole show, but look, we did a whole video montage that’s going to play before the encore, and…”

Oli talked and talked and talked, about the show, about the planning of it all, about their rehearsals, showing me pictures and videos and blueprints and all I could do was sit and listen and fall in love with the sound of his voice a little bit more. He was catching me up on everything I could have possibly missed, letting me listen to everything he was expecting to happen in the next two weeks, and how he couldn’t believe I was actually there and part of it all.

“Having you and Noah here is the fucking best,” he grinned, somehow snuggling even closer into me. I let him, against my better judgement, as always.

“Someone’s a bit in love with him,” I teased.

“Everyone is a bit in love with him. You’ve met him. Prettiest dude on tour.”

“Apart from you.” It slipped out before I realised the thought was even in my brain, but Oli seemed delighted.

“You think I’m pretty?” He fluttered his eyelashes in a way that would have been purely obnoxious, usually, but all I could focus on was how fucking pretty he did indeed look. “You think I’m cute? You wanna kiss me? You wanna hold my hand?”

“Oh my god, I take it back,” I groaned, pushing him away and attempting to crawl out of his bed, but his arms grabbed onto my middle and pulled me back before I got anywhere at all. He seemed to anticipate me trying to fight his grip, because as soon as I made any further move, his fingers found the skin under my shirt and began tickling my stomach in relentless cruelty. Within seconds, I was reduced to a shouting, giggling mess, tears threatening to spill from my eyes as I wriggled underneath him, to no avail.

“Please, please, Oli!” I gasped, breathlessly. “You’re- fuck, you’re the prettiest!”

His torment stopped immediately, but our position didn’t change. I was still trapped under his broad frame, his hands still on me, his hair almost tickling my face, he was that close. My breathing was going fast, trying to calm down after his attack, but his proximity didn’t help at all. For a moment, a long moment, we simply stared at each other, all fight leaving our bodies. Then, just as I wondered if anything was actually going to happen, he sat back up, busying himself with his laptop and fixing the blanket.

I almost missed it when he muttered, “For the record, I think you’re the prettiest, too.”

[gorgonwrites]

still loving you, part 1

geto suguru x fem!reader

in which your best friend shoko takes you to the bar your ex-boyfriend is performing at tonight.

wc: 2.3k-ish

author's note: i wrote a geto fic- someone fucking sedate me. i love that man w my whole heart. ps, i swear i will learn how to write a one shot one day. i am nothing if not a slut for the buildup. this is inspired by the song still loving you by the scorpions bc it's a GOOD FUCKIN SONG

tags/ CW: sfw but will be nsfw eventually, fem!reader, second chance romance, modern AU, bassist!geto, reader broke getos heart but we'll make it right don't worry, reader/ shoko/ geto/ gojo are bffs duh, slowburn bc i can't fucking help myself, reader smokes a cigarette or two bc i like the effect SMOKING IS BAD 4 U ok??

“Was it really necessary to bring me along for this? I could be home with my cat right now.” your best friend pulled you to her favorite bar, laughing as you continued to grumble. 

“You never leave your apartment, y/n. Have some fun for once!” Shoko continued to tug you along until you were at the door of The Sorcerer’s Lounge. If you were completely honest you didn’t hate this place- it was more speakeasy than dive bar, and it was one of the more peaceful places Shoko liked to bring you. 

“I do leave my apartment. I work, I go grocery shopping, and I sit and read in the park across town. So there.” You stuck your tongue out at her. She was your opposite but you adored her all the same. While she liked to party and drink herself into oblivion, you liked to stay in and enjoy your own company. You finished your party phase while you were in college- thinking about it made your chest twinge. “You know this isn’t really my thing anymore. I just made an exception tonight because I like it here.” Shoko had mentioned a show happening tonight, and you generally enjoyed the entertainment that the lounge offered. 

“Well you look fucking devastating, y/n, maybe we should make this your thing again?” Shoko was too hopeful, though her effort made you giggle. She took your hand and had you twirl in front of her, making the thigh-high slit of your dress threaten to show just too much. You did miss late nights like this, but it simultaneously felt foreign to you. There was something- someone- missing. You shook the thought away. As you both made your way through the crowd to the bar you saw a familiar head of white hair, and you stopped in your tracks. Shoko still had a firm grasp on your wrist, and your sudden halt nearly had her fall over. 

“Shoko, who’s playing tonight? I didn’t have the time to check.” actually you hadn’t cared to check, but you didn’t think it would’ve been your ex-boyfriend’s band. You looked at her sharply and she grimaced. Please, no. 

“Oh, I ah, I don’t remember!” She smiled sheepishly and tried to laugh the question off. Just as you were about to turn around and march out of the bar, you were engulfed in a tight hug. 

“Y/N! No way! Shoko you didn’t say she was coming too! Fuck dude, it’s been way too long. How are you?” You were smashed into Gojo’s chest, unable to respond. He held you tightly and laughed, a familiar and bright sound that always made you smile in the past. Right now, though, you wanted to hurtle yourself into the sun. Of all the nights you agreed to join Shoko, why did it have to be tonight? You managed to wiggle your way out of Gojo’s grip and huffed in response, trying not to take your agitation out on the man. After a breath, you were able to respond. 

“Gojo, it’s so good to see you.” you smiled gently and you meant it. He looked good. You weren’t sure if it was possible but he seemed even taller than when you’d seen him last, and he still had the same stupid sunglasses that he used to wear. “It’s been five years, I think? I won’t lie, I haven't really had the time to keep track.” A lie. Yes you were busy, but you knew exactly how long it had been since you had seen him and his best friend. The four of you had been inseparable during your college years, a rag-tag quartet against the rest of the world. You did everything together, until suddenly you didn’t. It hurt. It still hurts. 

“Oh, shit, I have to tell Suguru you came!” Gojo spun on his heel and ran across the bar and out of sight.

“Fuck, Gojo, don’t!” you yelled after him and tried to make your way in the same direction, but it was useless. He had a habit of appearing and disappearing, and you knew you wouldn’t find him. You slowly turned to your best friend, your eyes blazing. “Care to explain this shit to me?” Shoko shrank under your gaze but seemed to recover quickly. 

“Gojo reached out to me a few days ago to tell me they’d be in town and to tell me about their gig tonight. I thought it would be nice for the four of us to catch up.” you could hear the pain in her voice. “I thought you were over everything by now, y/n. You never bring Geto up anymore. I don’t even remember the last time you said his name.” you groaned at your ex-boyfriend being mentioned, and pinched the bridge of your nose to keep yourself from saying something stupid. 

“You know I adore you, Shoko.” you breathed, “But why did you think this was a good idea? My breakup with Geto shattered our friend group. I’m not sure if it really will be a nice thing for us to catch up.” though you had been surprised by Gojo’s response to seeing you. “We’ve all gone our separate ways in life. I’m not sure we really need to dwell on the past.” you had built a life for yourself, and you were proud of that fact. Yes, there were lonely nights and moments that you craved a closeness that you’d only ever experienced with Geto. But you made a life nonetheless, and you weren’t willing to mess it up because Shoko wanted to live in the past. “He broke my heart, Shoko. I think a part of me is still recovering.”

“You broke his too, you know.” Shoko said firmly. “If you weren’t so fucking stubborn you would’ve seen that. Leave if you want to. I’m going to support our boys.” Our boys. She stalked off, leaving you breathless. You slumped into a chair at the bar and ordered a shot. If you were going to stay, you needed something to take the edge off. 

. . .

“She’s here with Shoko! I saw! She looks fucking incredible, by the way. Damn, it was good to see her face. There’s something different about her, but she’s still y/n. I can tell.” Gojo continued to ramble on about you, giving Geto a massive fucking headache. He didn’t expect Shoko to make it, and he definitely hadn’t expected to hear that you were with her. His heart leapt in his chest, agitating him even further. 

“Satoru, I swear to god if you don’t shut the fuck up I’m going to wring your neck.” he slumped back onto the sofa in their small changing room and scrubbed his hands over his face. “This has you and Shoko written all over it.” Shoko and Gojo loved plotting together, whether it was going to be messy or not. They just seemed to enjoy the ride. 

“Suguru, come on. You don’t fucking shut up about her. In all the years it's been, I know you’re still crazy about her. And I know you want to see her, so get over yourself. She showed up, whether you like it or not. I don’t think she’d just abandon Shoko because you’re here.” Geto knew you wouldn’t leave her, so he was going to have to suck it up. “We’re on in thirty. Get your shit together.” Geto stared up at the ceiling and tried to remember your face. You never posted on social media, and Shoko rarely had photos of you up anymore. You had basically just disappeared one day, and it made the ache in his chest get worse. 

. . .

“Two espresso martinis, please.” You had taken two shots, and after letting them take effect you were finally ready to face Shoko again. You carefully carried the drinks through the crowd and into the lounge area, carefully searching through the tables and booths to find your best friend. You found her in the front row, stress smoking her cigarettes. “Those’ll kill you, you know.” you smirked, and she angrily looked up at you. 

“Hmph. The stress from how stubborn you are already has me halfway there.” she eyed the drinks in your hand. “Though, a drink might add a few more years back to my lifespan.” You placed your drinks on the table and sat down beside her, wondering when the show would start.

“I really don’t know if I can do this.” you did your best to hide the tremor in your voice but Shoko noticed, like she always did. She pushed your hair behind your ear and smiled. 

“You can, though. We’re just supporting our boys. No harm in that, right?” There really was no harm in it, but it made you nervous all the same. Your breakup with Geto had been entirely underwhelming, at best. You knew you had been growing apart for some time, and your parents never approved of him to begin with. He wanted to travel and make music, free as a bird. You wanted to stay and work in the city, carving out your own little slice of paradise where you were. He wanted you to come with him, you wanted him to stay. It would never, ever work. So you called it quits one day, plain and simple. He didn’t put up a fight though, and it had solidified your suspicions of him getting bored with you. You left and had tried your best not to look back after that. 

“Earth to y/n, can you hear me?” Shoko waved her hand in your face. “I said they’ll be on soon. Are you even listening to me?” you had to give yourself a shake to snap out of it. This was about to be a long fucking night if you couldn’t get a grip. 

“Give me one of those.” you snatched the pack of cigarettes from Shoko and lit one, taking a long drag before you exhaled in her face. You continued to take long drags until you finished and grabbed another.

“What the fuck happened to these will kill you?” Shoko snatched the pack out of your hands and stuffed it into her purse out of reach.

“The stress from how stubborn I am already has me halfway there.” you parroted back to her and lit the second one, winking. “It’s fine, I won’t have another. I have some semblance of self control, unlike someone I know.” Shoko rolled her eyes and grumbled, but immediately perked up when the lights began to dim. You had the opposite reaction, tensing up and shrinking into your seat as you smoked. Your best friend noticed though, as always, and looped her arm through yours.

“We’re just supporting them, like I said a little while ago. No harm, no foul. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.” She gave you a reassuring smile, and you couldn’t help but lean into her touch. Shoko had been your rock through the breakup, and continued to support you even now. You could feel how excited she was, and admittedly her excitement was always contagious. You relaxed and watched as everyone came out on stage. 

Gojo of course came out first, that damn show pony. His boisterous attitude and loud mouth always annoyed you, and he always did the most to get the attention he wanted. You love him half to death though, and he knows it. He got all of you into trouble so many times you had lost count. A blonde with glasses came out next, a new addition to the band it seemed. You had never seen him before. A short man with cropped black hair and a huge grin came out next, and you recognized him from school though you couldn’t remember his name. Haibara? Something like that. That left Geto for last, as usual. 

You had forgotten just how beautiful he was. He walked out with a small smile on his face and waved to the crowd, and you couldn’t help the annoyance bubbling in your chest as the screaming got louder when he took his spot onstage. He had more tattoos than you remembered, and his hair was much longer. He wasn’t wearing it up in a bun, which felt unusual to you. Instead his black hair cascaded down his back and over his shoulders, framing his face. Was his bottom lip pierced now? He was too far away for you to be sure. You studied him carefully, drinking in the image in front of you. While everyone else got settled you watched as he began to scan the crowd for someone. You took another drag from your cigarette, wondering who he was so intent on finding. His eyes continued to wander until they found you. You locked eyes with him and tried not to choke as you exhaled, and leaned farther into Shoko’s embrace. He looked as shocked as you felt- your heart was about to jump up and out of your fucking throat. You could barely see the corners of his mouth turn up, and he raised his eyebrows before he finally looked away. You knew that stupid look. That was the ‘and what do we have here?’ look he always had on when he relentlessly teased you. The look was enough to make you scowl and huff, and you crossed your arms over your chest. Geto spared you another glance, and seeing you in such a state made him break out in a ridiculous grin before he laughed to himself. He loved teasing you. 

“He seems really happy to see you.” Shoko whispered in your ear. She huddled close to you, letting you lean into her as much as you needed.

“Yeah, well, no one said I was happy to see him.” your best friend let out a huff, letting you know you weren’t fooling her. You were hardly fooling yourself. Truthfully, seeing him after all this time made you feel like you were floating. You could only remember his face glassed over and uninterested, so seeing him happy made your heart leap. He loved being on stage and performing, and you loved watching him do it. The show began and, as always, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

[everydayautism]

Clothing Sorting Guide (how to clean/purge your closet)

subtitle: as a person with autism, ADHD, or similar executive function struggles.

For my first guide, in the spirit of spring cleaning, I’d like to offer a streamlined way to sort clothes into 2 piles for purging: keep it or toss it. 

I have struggled with knowing which clothes I want and which I want to get rid of. This leads to a big pileup of clothes that I don’t want or need anymore, but I have trouble parsing which ones are keepable and which aren’t if I don’t have a clear thinking process in it. These questions help me get my head in the game. 

If you're in a similar predicament with a closet overflowing w/ clothes that you don't actually wear, give this a try, and let me know if it helped you.

Here’s how it works: 

Make sure you dedicate enough time to this exercise, because it might be hard to start again once you take a break.

There will be 2 piles of clothes. One will be keep, and one toss. (You can also just leave your ‘keep’ clothes hanging up, if you want to. Will probably save a lot of mess, but won’t be so visually clear/divisive). 

Based on the prompts below, you’ll sort the clothes into the 2 piles. Of course, it’s always ok to re-sort clothes or realize ‘you know what, maybe I do want to keep this’ regardless of the guide. This is just a simple “get you started” type of deal.

And when you're done, consider donating your clothes to your local Goodwill or homeless shelter. You can de-clutter and make a good change in the world simultaneously.

Here we go!

---

Have you worn it in the last year? > If no, TOSS IT.

Do you feel ugly in this article of clothing? > If yes, TOSS IT. 

Do you feel uncomfortable in this article of clothing due to sensory reasons? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Did you buy this, but never wear it? Does it still have the tag on it? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Do you associate this piece of clothing will bad memories, and thus aren't getting any use out of it? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Do you only still own this because it's associated with good memories, but you don't wear it/like it? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Does this item fit you? > If no, TOSS IT.

Does it have large stains, visible holes, or other damage? > If yes, TOSS IT.

Has your personal style changed? If it has, does this item still fit into your style? > If no, TOSS IT.

---

Those are our tosses; how do we know if we really want to keep it?

Once you've ran through these options in your mind, consider those pieces who have not yet met the 'toss it' criteria. These may be definitive items that you're set on keeping, or they may be a gray area, where you're not sure if you want them gone or not.

Tips for determining if you really want to keep them, or are just delaying the inevitable:

1. try them on. Are you comfortable? Do you feel confident wearing this? Does it fit you properly, with no excessive cutting or squeezing? Do you feel the need to suck your stomach in while wearing this?

2. look back on times you wore this item. What did you pair it with? Were you confident wearing this, or did you feel insecure for one reason or another? How did you feel wearing this?

3. ignore the sunken cost fallacy. If this an expensive item, don't consider its monetary value in the elimination process--if you haven't worn it, chances are you won't again. Resell it, if you want to earn some money back from an expensive purchase. Otherwise, donate it.

4. consider the opportunities you will have to wear this item. Is it a daring shirt perfect for a party? Is it formalwear? If you can think of times it would be appropriate to wear, perfect. If you can't, reevaluate keeping it. (for example, if you previously worked as a clown but don't anymore, don't keep your clown suit for shits and giggles).

I hope this helps, and feel free to submit asks or comments to this blog for other autism accommodation tips that anyone can make happen in their daily life.

[independent-variables]

HELLO !!!

Having now finished binging all of your star wars fics, I come here asking for some recs. Just any of your favourites, bonus points if it will cause emotions (and tears).

Also can't stress enough how much I love your writing, it's so so brilliant <3

(this is neptunesenceladus btw, tumblr hates me and won't let me send asks with a side blog so you get this one)

HI!!! Good to see you, good to see you <3 Always happy to provide recs <3 <3 <3

I want you to know I went through my bookmarks and pulled like sixty fics and had a brief moment of panic, so this is not all of my recs just the first... thirty, or so. If none of these are appealing, oh boy, do I have more!

This list is not in any order other than bookmark order, most are on the shorter side, most are Gen and I am pretty sure all are complete. I tried to warn for stuff that could be a squick when I remembered.

False Dichotomy by nsmorig

Starting off strong with my favorite Cody fic of all time. If you read nothing else on this list I encourage you to read this (if the tags are not a squick) because it will re-shape your brain and shatter your heart into tiny pieces. Basic premise is Force Sensitive Cody gets captured by Dooku and survives torture, experimentation, and imprisonment while trying to figure out his relationship to the Force and to his personhood, and the ways those things are connected. 

What's in a Name by Sankt

This is about Fordo post war and it’s phenomenal characterization. 

The Last Poem of Jedha by schweinsty

How Bohdi Rook becomes a rebel and writes a poem. 

you're like a loaded gun by kazhan

Ok this is E and also Underage, so maybe it’s a skip, but it’s teen Boba/Cal trying to navigate sex and love and secret identities and it’s so fucked up and so good. 

chicken, cattle and cat by deniigiq

Obi-Wan and Maul living in domestic dis-harmony on Tatooine. What more could you ask. 

Little things [are the reason to live] by i_will_bite

Clone medics navigating a slightly hostile working environment and trying to make it less hostile T-T

Two brothers (and a kid) by meerlicht

What if. Waxer and Boil just stayed on Ryloth, with Numa. What then? 

with poise, with grace by andeemae

Stone falls through a hole in a roof and falls in love. Beautiful clone/OC romance and very cute kids, doesn’t shy away from the difficulties of being a clone in love with a civilian. Very much an inspiration for me.

second time around by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters

This is another one I wasn’t sure I wanted to put on here because it deals briefly with rape, but it’s such a wonderfully fucked up take on Anakin and Rex’s relationship. Or, how Vader views Rex. 

The Desert Storm by Blue_Sunshine

If you are looking for an epically long series to get invested in I highly recommend checking this one out. This series and its sister-series are some of the best characterization and worldbuilding for Jedi I have ever had the pleasure of reading and it is a fix-it in all the messy, hard, terrible ways people don’t usually write fix-its. 

Shape-Changer by Fialleril

This is a foundational fic for me. Incredible Tatooine worldbuilding. Inspired me to write the way I write. 

The Sun Is Bright, The Sun Is Blue by ambiguously

CUT AND SU ORIGIN STORY!!! 

most things may never happen: this one will by jaigeye

This is brutal but what if you were a droid and you had to dissect a person. 

Bad Deal by FettsOnTop (GTFF)

Boba/Lando my beloved. A brief look into their relationship and into Lando’s thoughts leading up to Han and them’s arrival. 

and the Force is with me by sauntering_down

Rex and Ahsoka and the way the war changed them, and what they can and cannot do in the aftermath. 

Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge by yellow_caballero

The Fox fic of all time. What if you were trapped in a time-loop with a ghost from the future but your life is so monotonous and simultaneously bizarre you don’t even notice. 

Fishhooks by yellow_caballero

The Boba fic of all time. This author does not write much for SW but every time they do it’s iconic. What if you were a teenager running away from home but also a perfect clone of your father created to be him but better but also his because you will never escape his body and his ownership and his love. What then. 

Staring into open flame by SLWalker

This is such a beautiful and heartbreaking read, it’s basically exploring what would have to happen for Maul and Obi-Wan to have a genuinely healthy and happy relationship post murder and bisection. 

Energy Drink Fox by carrinth

The crack comic of all time. What if Fox had space Monster.

lost cause by catboydogma

The foundational Dogma fic. The fic that got me wondering about how clones spend their time on Coruscant. 

the married au by dharmaavocado

Clone rebellion my beloved. Basic premise is the clones took over Kamino and then went out into the galaxy as a mercenary army of sorts. Rex and Cody are finding their place in the world, creating business partnerships, falling in love, manipulating public perception of clones. (Background clonecest, not between Rex and Cody.)

[sith-shenanigans]

For the ask game where we send you an NPC, Talos Drellik? (I am totally not jumping up and down at the thought of following up on some tags/replies you left a while ago about Ahene and Talos, not at all)

aaaa it makes me so happy that you liked the tags and were not annoyed by the tags (let me put this under a readmore because it’s going to be extremely long)

Okay! So! Bearing in mind that this is a living work and Hoth is a long way away and I don’t know all of what will change—

There is a very not-entirely-normal dynamic here because it doesn’t progress in intensity so much as progress in what, precisely, the intensity is made up of.

Ahene’s first introduction to Talos is along the lines of “do you really want to talk to that guy? He’s strange,” and this endears him to her immediately. Ahene’s second introduction to Talos is walking into a Reclamation Service camp and not feeling like she’s home.

(She does, in fact, think of the camp outside the Rakatan ruin where she largely grew up as being “home.” She also often thinks of herself as not having a home. Or of the ruin itself being home, and the camp not.)

It is important to know, here, that Ahene’s relationship to her trauma is much more in the “continues to be attracted back to it and to things that remind her of it” category rather than the “avoid all reminders forever on pain of flashbacks” category. She actively enforces these reminders on herself whenever she feels she’s acting too much like she’s free—early on, it’s because she believes she isn’t, even if she and her master are the only ones who know that. Later on, it’s because a lot of her self-image is tied up in not being a “typical Sith,” and in her mind, her ability to treat herself harshly is proof she isn’t one (isn’t Like The Others). She hasn’t forgotten who—or what—she really is.

By and large, she feels safer in unsafe situations. She understands hierarchical relationships better than equal ones. She doesn’t know how to be a person, and she’s terrified she’ll forget how to not be. Obviously, this makes her kind of hate being a Sith, but it also makes her kind of prefer being a Sith—the social dynamics are very, very easy for her, even if she doesn’t feel she deserves the loyalty she gets for it.

Back on Tatooine, she worked with a Reclamation Service crew, and it was the most familiar thing she’s done since Korriban, except that this time she was a Sith to them. Which was simultaneously awful and “hey, the terrible thing that happened to you? You’re going to exist in proximity to it forever but it can’t hurt you anymore.” (Which, to someone who keeps trying to yank on her own trauma to prove it can’t hurt her…) Then everything went terribly wrong and Silthar got very badly injured, and they were depending on her, and she has never been able to avoid feeling responsible under those circumstances.

But there’s still this given hanging over it that the responsibility is unrequited. People will be grateful to her as a Sith that helps and protects them—more grateful than she thinks she deserves for doing what she perceives as bare-minimum decency towards anyone she has power over—but if she had been below them, they wouldn’t have treated her the way she treats those below her. She wouldn’t have been one of their people. She would have been one of their tools.

(The greatest exercise in loyalty, in her mind, is to give it without caring if it’s returned. She still loathes the Empire for not returning it towards its people, almost as much or even more than she hates it for what it did to her planet, because if it took care of them then she wouldn’t have to do it—but that’s because Imperials believe they’re doing something good. She doesn’t. She just takes care of them anyway, because it may not be the right thing to do, but it still makes the galaxy a little more just.)

By the time she gets to Hoth, though, she’s just having an awful time. The inquisitor story in the game only has things get really bad at the start of Act III, and before that you’re kind of fine? But Ahene is not fine. Ahene is also aware that she’s not fine. It might have started subtly, but at this point she’s just trying to sell herself on the idea that she can handle it until Thanaton is dealt with and then she can let the ghosts go and everything will be, if not fine, relatively fixed enough that she can spend about a week curled into a little ball in the corner of her ship until she can function normally again.

But, you know, for the most part, the ways she’s Not Fine aren’t externally visible yet. There was an incident on Quesh where she used the ghosts’ power and kind of halfway lost control and partly life-drained Cineratus, but because she didn’t stop at the station to get anybody inoculated, the only one who actually saw that was Khem. And she didn’t really… explain that. She hasn’t told anyone that she feels hollow all the time and barely gets physically hungry and hears the ghosts talking to her even when she isn’t alone. She can hide it. She can handle it. She doesn’t have enough of an advantage yet. This is enough this will be enough she can still put a stop to it.

So she arrives on Hoth, and she shows up at a Reclamation Service camp expecting for it to feel normal again—enough that it’s easy to slot into the proper role, that she doesn’t have to think about it. She knows the responsibility and the resentment, the fact that something about it always seems safer than anywhere else she’s been.

It doesn’t feel normal. It feels just a little bit like she hates everyone there.

(Or, more accurately, like somebody does. Ahene hates like hell freezes over—rarely, slowly, and with a sort of cold contempt that burns mostly in how impersonal it can be. But the spirits in the back of her mind know how to hate, and they’re much too happy to share.)

Talos looks at this Sith Lord, who appears to be unusually scruffy and looks like she’s developed dark side corruption without the glowing eyes, and—unlike Andronikos, unlike Silthar, unlike Sarnova, unlike Zaril—doesn’t come to the conclusion that someone needs to parent her. She’s moved a bit past giving off that energy. Instead he comes to the conclusion that she’s about to deliver the most fascinating problem he’s encountered this year, which is (because Talos is Talos) really what he finds ideal in a Sith.

Ahene looks at this strange, mostly fearless little archaeologist, and discovers that she is not immune to being treated like a totally reasonable and decent individual who is here for the love of history despite every indication otherwise. Many people make this discovery around Talos.

Their early interactions are still… fascinating. His aura of “everyone I talk to is fundamentally a decent fellow” can only do so much, especially since his version of “rationalizing” all the terrible things about the Empire is sweeping them all into a bucket of “things I can’t do anything about” to hyperfixate on archaeology. Ahene keeps him at arm’s length like she’s learned to do with most people. Ahene gets sucked into talking shop with him. They discover, to Talos’s delight and Ahene’s pleased-despite-herself annoyance, that they share a sense of humor. He treats his probe droids better than some people treated her, and exactly the same way that other people treated her. She gets attached to them too.

Somewhere in there—either before they find Horak-Mul or after, though I’m leaning towards before—he asks about her first dig.

She tells him it was the Verios ruin. The face he makes tells her everything she would have needed to know about Darth Kelshrin’s reputation with the Service, if she hadn’t already been aware.

Delicately, like someone trying to thread a conversational needle with as few actual words as possible, Talos suggests that you hear things about that dig, and they aren’t very good. People don’t like to talk about it, if they manage to get reassigned.

She says that she’s one of the reasons that people don’t like to talk about it, and watches him struggle to reconcile that with her entire demeanor for a moment, then clarifies that she was one of the children they had—probably still have—doing probe-work.

Because of course it does, this horrifies him. She shrugs and comments that she hadn’t realized Kelshrin was that much of an outlier; haven’t there ever been slaves on any of your digs? Talos starts to protest that yes, but none of them were children, and comes to the mid-sentence conclusion that actually, she doesn’t care.

His mouth clicks shut. They sit in silence for a little bit.

When he next speaks, he tells her that he’s sorry he wasn’t there.

She says that most people would have put an ‘and’ in the middle of that sentence. They would have found it absolving, that they weren’t there. And he makes a face, and says that yes, that’s true, but still—he wishes he’d been there. That perhaps he could have done something, if he had been. That at least he could have been—better than the others.

I’m sure you would have been, she says, touching his shoulder, in a voice that would be a threat if any of the bitterness were directed at him. It isn’t a threat. It’s just that half of her doesn’t believe him, and doesn’t blame him, and the other half wants to believe him—and hates so very much that someone like him existed this whole time, and never came for her.

They don’t talk very much about that part of her background, after that. She never makes a secret of what she was—it’s the first thing anyone knows about her anyway, the trash apprentice who brought back the Dark Temple expedition—but while she’ll talk about the ruin like it’s simultaneously a deathtrap and a lost home, she doesn’t tell him about the Service camp. It’s their armistice; it wouldn’t be fair.

She doesn’t blame him for what happened to her childhood. He doesn’t look at her like he’s afraid of her when she loses control of the ghosts’ power, when he walks in on her having snapping arguments with thin air, when the ghosts’ memories and personalities start leaking in and she reacts to something he said about the Great Hyperspace War like she was there.

It’s difficult not to care deeply about someone who sees you at your absolute, utter worst—half-dead, half-possessed, still suffering from a Horror Hunger despite knowing that there are few things she needs less than other people’s life energy—and treats it like it’s simply something that’s happening, and no more terrifying than any other serious illness.

He’s the one she goes to one night, when she needs to tell someone how terrified she is to die. He’s the only member of her crew she doesn’t feel some need to be strong for.

(He is, maybe, the person she tells that she thinks she could exorcise the ghosts. That she hasn’t tried, because she’s scared that it would work.)

It’s important that—by this point—he doesn’t feel like he has to be strong with her, either. He doesn’t have to pretend that he doesn’t notice how bad things are, or keep up a cheerful front through it, the way he nearly always does. It’s not that his cheerful front is insincere—it’s not that he’s lying—but that’s how he’s always dealt with his emotions, the same as Ahene deals with them by scrunching them up into a little ball and taking another step no matter what. They aren’t people who know how to seek comfort in other people, most of the time. Talos doesn’t have childhood trauma the way she has childhood trauma, but he did very much grow up in an abusive environment that he generally dismisses as “not so bad as all that” with a wave of his hand. So it’s… something, that they can be scared together of what’s going to come.

(This could so easily be read as romantic. It is not remotely. It’s also not remotely parental on Talos’s part. It’s just a very unlikely bordering-on-queerplatonic friendship.)

When Ahene walks out of the Dark Council chambers on Korriban with Thanaton’s body (Teneb Kel’s body) in her arms and a title she didn’t ask for or want, Talos makes sure the body ends up in a cryostasis tube until it can be properly entombed. When they head for Dromund Kaas right after, because the planet is being invaded, when she makes for the Dark Temple immediately when they arrive in the aftermath—Talos waits for her at the Dark Temple approach.

When she calls him and asks him to get another stasis chamber and never breathe a word of it to anyone, he does it, because they would trust each other with anything.

Up to and including the body of the Emperor’s Voice.

(The next couple months, she barely remembers, because she was under so much pressure and so much of the same kind of pressure that her dissociative memory issues cropped up again and turned it into a soup of events that 2V had to record and summarize for her. But Talos quite frequently knew what she was doing better than she did, at least when it came to the fact that she suddenly had to run the Reclamation Service. This has always been a team effort. Between her and all her crew, but still especially between the two of them.)

[npc opinions]

[roxannepolice]

Rant 3/phantom pains of Schrödinger's lore in ChibnallWho/"the history between" doesn't mean much to the author. that is, it does. but it doesn't. but it does. but not really. but./can someone in the group chat please read my time sensitive questions I posted 25 hours ago?

Between bracing myself to finally open the advisors reviewed thesis, waiting for anyone at work to give a newbie a hint, and reading a fairly good criticism of the political stance in ChibnallWho, I guess it's a good time to let go off some steam about this era. Now, an important clarification for tumblr: when I criticize the show, I am not in any way bashing on people who enjoy it! Good for you, and that's why I try to tag these appropriately.

But yeah, this is going to go deep into what I mean when I say the writing in this era is just bad, something even its defenders sometimes concede. This often turns into dicussions of political/social messaging in seasons 11-13, which is as fair criticism as any. Yes, it often veered into confusing to downright appalling. But for me, that's not what "bad writing" means. You can make an excellent story about a likeable rapist and murderer. You can make compelling propaganda of pretty much any economic stance (well, maybe except for "the solution to problems with Amazon is to blow up their trucks so now everything has to be delivered on foot I guess", that's something straight from Monty Python). And of course, the "too woke" "criticisms" aren't anything valid like at all.

No, for me the bad writing in ChibnallWho lies in the general sense of confusion as to who exactly is the target audience here: someone who's very well acquaintanced with the lore(s), or someone who's completely new to the show. Now, this is also inspired by some criticisms of RTD2 is that it is too expository, leading into the show-within-a-show theorizing. And of course, exposition can be done well or not-so-well, and there's good argument some parts of exposition in s14 were on the nose. But the thing about a television series, especially one as long as Doctor Who, is that any episode can be someone's first - and the writer's job is to make it so it won't be their last. What this means is that the audience needs to be provided the information necessary to grasp at least the emotional level of the story, if not every bit of earlier lore logic. In the case of Doctor Who there's also a part of establishing which part of the lore is valid to the story at hand, considering that both within the show itself, but also the huge multimedia lore, there are bound to be contradictions. And that's ok! You have a good story idea that will require a retcon for a better pay off, go for it! Like, if you really think the Doctor should get to save Gallifrey for their 50th birthday, then go ahead, just reduce the Time War to a local conflict between Time Lords and Daleks instead of underlining just how widespread across time and space it was, and logistically impossible to contain by removing one party (this is one of the many cases of "I don't like what Moffat did, but I agree the execution is functional").

Basically, Lancelot having an affair with Guinevre isn't relevant to him storming a wedding and killing mortally wounding giving a fleshwound to the bride's father.

So, essentially my issue with ChibnallWho writing is simultaneously trying to cut itself off from lore/earlier seasons, while relying on it for any emotional pay off. To give a counterexample from this very era's one of best written episodes: when the Doctor goes on about what being turned into a Cyberman means and that she won't lose anyone else to that, that's bloody powerful! And it's powerful regardless of whether you know it's specifically about Bill, or just go on the information provided within the episode - that the Doctor lost someone to this. Unfortunately, The Haunting of Villa Diodati is an honourable exception in this and many other aspects.

So, to start from the beginning. There's a frequent criticism that team TARDIS was overcrowded in seasons 11 and 12 with three companions, to which an immediate defense is that it's not the first time there were three companions at once. Fine. But combine this with the following: it's not just three companions introduced at once, it's three companions introduced at once, plus a brand new Doctor, plus a brand new sonic, plus a brand new TARDIS interior (that's absent for nearly full two first episodes). So you're basically left with four strangers and no point of reference in your getting to know them. And by no point of reference, I mean something that I haven't noticed anyone else pointing out: Thirteen is literally the first Doctor since One to have no established elements in their first season, at all (barring the TARDIS and sonic, again, completely redesigned).

It's a bit hard to discuss One to Two regeneration relying only on stills and audio, but Polly and Ben are there to act as audience proxies for this Beatle-hairstyled guy with a recorder being the old man he was a moment ago. Three's first season all revolves around UNIT, established in Two's era. Four inherits UNIT and Sarah Jane. Five inherits Adric, Nyssa, Tegan and the Master for his welcome. Six has Peri. Seven has Mel, the Master and the Rani. Eight's movie is all about the Master. Even the reboot for Nine has the Nastene consciousness as a hello and the whole season revolving around the Daleks. Ten gets Rose and Tylers, and Cybermen, and Daleks, and Sarah Jane, and K-9. Eleven gets the previously established River Song and a Classic Who villain reunion in the season finale. Twelve gets Clara. Thirteen gets.... Twelve's suit that she should have stayed in and Daleks, nearly three months from her first episode.

And the thing is, I understand how this would have appeared to be a good idea on paper! Complaints about the show getting lost up it's own self-referential ass have been around for years by this point, and even Moffat tried to go for a soft reboot in s10. Chibs literally asking him to set the TARDIS on fire is as symbolic a new beginning as they get. A bold, intriguing idea. As is trying to explore Titanic with nothing but a snorkel.

Because in practice it had two fundamental flaws, one more general and one specific to the story as it unfolded. The general one has been hinted at: this is basically why there's the sense of overcrowding on the TARDIS, while also leaving the audience feeling they don't really know anyone on board. Are we getting to know the new Doctor from the companions' perspective? The companions from the Doctor's? The new villain (and a really unfamiliar one, Toothboy isn't a familiar threat like plastic pollution metaphor or pshysically inevitable end of the world) from an alien's or humans' perspective? The new worlds from all of theirs? We sort of end up relating most to Grace, except she dies in the first episode. The thing is, it is in confrontation with the established that we learn most about the characters. Nothing characterizes Nine more than his interactions with the Daleks, going from torturing one to deciding he can't commit another planetary destruction to stop them. Basically, between a kind straight Black navy officer and a White lesbian strangling her wife in a jealous rage, you're likelier to recognize Othello in the latter. Something tells me this is why RTD had Fifteen interact with another Doctor, Donna, Mel, Kate, UNIT, the Toymaker and even toothied Master before sending him on his own merry way.

The second problem has more to do with the direction the story actually went in. Because just from the above, and indeed after s11 it was a frequent praise of the era, it would look like Chibs is going for something easily accessible to new audiences. Great. But then comes s12 and basically all of the emotional pay off comes from the audience's attitude to the the lore! Or, maybe I'll put it this way: all charitable interpretations of it are rooted in not only lore literacy, but specific readings of established lore. And not only is the lore hardly established for the newcomers, but it's also not established which parts are to be cherry picked for the returning audience. Nowhere is it better visible than in Fugitive!Doctor's TARDIS being a police box. This was clearly meant to tell the audience yes, this is indeed the Doctor's TARDIS, but if you know how much of a deal pre-Hartnell Doctors would be, you'd also know the TARDIS doesn't just look like a police box, it was stuck looking like one in 1963. And so we end up with secret third Doctor theories between classic series 6 and 7.

And this is the fundamental problem with the timeless child. It shakes the lore to the core, but without establishing what this lore is, and how the audience is supposed to feel about it. Oh, you can go for post-colonial criticisms, but that relies on you reading the Time Lords as the british empire, a reading not clear to all of the audience, as exhibited by an actual academic article (because yes, I spent my hard earned money on a collection of academic articles about ChibnallWho and no I absolutely won't share a pdf should anyone dm me) written by an author more rooted in feminist than post-colonial critical theories seeing the new origin of Time Lords as replacing a masculine creatio ex nihilo ethos by that of a feminine explorer-scientist [appreciative]. You're basically supposed to get a phantom pain of a lore that's both alive and dead until observed, the presumed intention being that you will have a positive or negative feelings about the cat, without considering most people will be either abstractly impressed by the metaphor, or equally abstractly disturbed by animal abuse. It's criticising the roman empire by debunking it being founded by Mars's children raised by a she-wolf.

And this is also visible in the Doctor's own reaction to the revelation, which I guess you might argue is complex, but I would say it's more shifting from establishing moment to establishing moment. She goes from being shocked by it (again, no part of the text informed me I shouldn't cherry pick her characterization as including calling Time Lords the most rotten civilization in the universe, also is it even established that's the second time Gallifrey was destroyed?), to describing it as empowering, to apparently not thinking about it for 100 years, to having an identity crisis, to stating her identity is about what she does, to bemoaning the could-have-beens, to deciding she doesn't want to know, to her deepest desire being wanting to know it after all (the vision of ttc in potd). Like, come on, not finding your glasses means your room is messy, not complex. The effect is infantilizing more than anything else, I mean it's been what, three months since the last time a villain informed a heroine she has an epic origin that's also very horrible in The rise of Skywalker? Which impression is amplified by the only clue as to the Doctor's personal, not performed, attitude being that she apparently finds the cliche chosen one story of a boy abused by his adoptive family turning out to be a wizard, and a special wizard at that, comforting. Probably not the intended reading that wouldn't even be available if Rowling got cancelled earlier, but there as things are.

And of course, this has a lot of bearing on how thoschei dynamic is executed. On the one hand we have the entire emotional pay off rooted in the "history between them", on the other vague references to Classic Who and expanded universe, on the third characterization of the Master that is rooted more in fanon Freud-for-dummies woobification than anything this character's motivations have ever been established as. Like, between the charitable reading "Thirteen is hostile to the Master because of the events of s10" and the anti-charitable reading of "Missy's development was retconned in the Master's hostility", the answer is, it doesn't bloody matter to the story at hand, or else it's the writer's job to point to it as meaningful (again, as Maxine Alderton did with cybermenification in THOVD). Another case of "I don't agree with Moffat, but I agree the execution was functional", but you can juxtapose this with the way Simm!Master was presented in s10 - yeah, he got cured and kicked out of Gallifrey; that's really all you need to know, because his role in this story is being an unrepentant asshole and no amount of gifs slowing down John Simm turning his eyes down before saying "Eh, you wouldn't understand" will change that. The same goes for "see, the Master didn't destroy Gallifrey over everything that's been done to them, but over Theta being hurt uwu" interpretation - neither the reading this was the motivation, nor anything relating to the Master suffering from the Time Lords have been established in the text, neither as it unfolded nor as a pay off reveal! This basically relies on the attitude that the most charitable reading is by default the intended one, which is how you end up with "op means that Taylor Swift being gay shouldn't make you ignore all other gay women musicians".

A little bit of an aside, but people remember O was an actual person the Doctor met in unknown circumstances, not just a creation of the Master from the beginning, right? Like, this is taken into account in all "he's so desperate to be friends again uwu" readings, right?

So this is why "if the history between means anything" quote falls flat to me. The meaning is rooted in lore that's brushed aside in the same breath. The author relies on it being meaningful for the audience, while providing only the bare bones of "we were friends, but took completely different paths" background, and that by the end of the first act. Just as he relies on the audience having an emotional attachment to the lore without doing anything to create that attachment.

[effemar]

hi are there any trc fics you would recommend? (saw your tags on that one fandoms with good fic post)

ohhhhh tumblr user after my own heart...

First of all, some of my thoughts on the subject. I love fanfiction -- both as a phenomenon and as a genre of writing. I have a deep and sincere appreciation for the earnest engagement with media it fosters, the creative potential it holds, and the way it can be truly and deeply bad. This being said, what I think makes a fic good is different from what makes a book or a movie good. To me, a good piece of fanfiction is simultaneously a story and a piece of analysis. It should respond to the work it's based on, even (or perhaps, especially) to the detriment of its functionality as a standalone narrative.

This is all to say that the fics I'm recommending here rely heavily on knowledge of the books, and their main merit is in how they engage with the canon narrative. So bear that in mind.

TRC has a lot of fic in a variety of niches and tones. I will try to give you a diverse sampling. That being said, the vast majority of TRC fic that exists is Adam/Ronan (because fandoms are predictable like that) which means the recommendations here are slanted that way.

In no particular order:

Son of the Nuclear A-Bomb -- This is the fic I recommend most among this selection. A clear divergence from canon, it nevertheless extrapolates perfectly on existing themes, to the point that it straight-up predicted several plot points regarding Ronan's family in The Dreamer Trilogy. It's the TRC fic of all time.

Out for Re-henge -- Among TRC fics, there's a surprisingly substantial percentage that are, simply and exclusively, about Blue and Ronan having platonic bonding moments. It's just two teenagers having unmagnificent adventures. Like, as a distinct genre. I've never observed this in any other fandom. You can find more of these under the 'Ronan Lynch & Blue Sargent' relationship tag, with Gen checked as the work category. There's some real gems.

empire that runs on its own -- MIND THE TAGS. I said I'd give you diversity, so I'm giving you diversity. I hesitate to recommend this fic usually, as it can be unpleasant to read and has genuinely upsetting subject matter, but if I'm going to talk about how good TRC fic is, I have to pull out the big guns. It's genuinely incredible work. There's imagery and themes in this that still echo in my head, years after I first read it.

feels better biting down -- Everything by this author is incredible, but I enjoy this fic in particular because it's set in an unexplored bit of time before the series actually starts. It has a unique, lethargic tension that mimics the state of the characters' relationship at this point. It is almost pointedly unromantic, despite dealing with characters who we know have/will have a romantic dynamic during the events of the books.

my bones into your bones -- This fic frustrates me so much. It's incredibly emotionally intense, it has lines that are tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, and it's completely and unapologetically About People Fucking so I can't recommend it to anyone without paralyzing embarrassment. I skipped over this fic in the tag for like three years because of this, but eventually I decided to see what all the fuss was about, and gave it a try. When I tell you it's good, I mean that I felt like I'd been put through the fucking laundry.

Those are mostly pretty serious fics, so here's some light(er) runner-ups as palate-cleansers.

see you somewhere, someplace, sometime -- Ronan assholery, feat. Declan

Hey, Brother (PUNKBITCH) -- Ronan assholery, feat. Blue

in your manner of speaking -- Ronan assholery, feat. Adam (are you beginning to notice a pattern)

[bunnywritesjunk]

Ruusaan | Captain Rex x Reader

Series summary: You missed your tropical planet, but coruscant had more to offer. You are a field medic in the 501st. you work closely with the captain in hopes of not losing your job. But how close is too close.

Chapter summary: You are on the starship on medbay duty. The captain has a question for you.

Pairing: Captain Rex x Reader

Warnings: cursing, inappropriate outfit? muscle injuries, mutual pining, Rated R (To be safe)

Word count: 2.7k

Genre: Fluff and angst

A/n: Posting chapter 6 from an airport. My flight is delayed so I had time. Sorry for the wait guys. I think this chap is cute. Let me know if you want to join the taglist. Enjoy guys!

Chapter 6

You stirred awake slowly opening your eyes. You stared at the grey ceiling trying to will yourself to get up. You can hear Na'wi moving around in the living room. You sat up and stretched while simultaneously cracking your back. You sighed in relief. A knock sounded at your door. You groggily got out of bed and walked to the door. When it opened Na'wi stood before you with a box.

“This was outside for you. I got one too.” She said.

You took the box and went to the living room couch to open it. The box was white with a clasp on the side. On the top, there was the republic's symbol. Na'wi brought her package out as well. You unclasped the box. Inside, there was some tissue paper and a note. You read it out loud.

“Medic of the 501st Battalion, your uniform for non-combat work has been updated, re-designed, and custom fit just for you. Please send the old uniforms back in this box. Thank you for your service.”

Na'wi opened her uniform as you were reading.

“Ummm, what is this?!” She held up what looked like a white skin-tight tunic that was long down to the knees. The sides were open and split up to the waistline. It had the medical symbol on the front center of the shirt. She rested the top on the couch and went for the pants. They were also skin-tight but seemed like basic leggings. You looked at the new “uniform” in disbelief.

“Are those even antibacterial?” You took your uniform out and looked at the tag on the inside.

“I mean, it says it is. But, why do you have this weird sexy nurse costume?” You rubbed your eyes, getting frustrated this early in the morning did not feel good.

Na'wi responds. “I guess they need to differentiate us from clone medics on the star cruiser?”

You shook your head and took your uniform to go change. Might as well get used to it now since the old ones go back today. You changed and took a look in the full-length mirror. The slits in the side emphasized your hips and waist. The back covered your butt enough but you knew you'd still attract a lot of attention in it. They probably didn't think about someone with curves wearing this outfit. You walked out of your room, Na'wi had hers on. She looked up at you.

“Damn, girl. We look hot.” She snickered.

“That is not the objective of scrubs. I don't want to look hot, I want to look like I can save a life!” You said pouting.

Na'wi walked up to you and swung her arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, you can save a life...By riding some dick!” She cackled. You couldn't help but laugh as you pushed her off of you.

Na'wi continued. “Maybe it won't be so bad, come on.” She walked to the front door while you followed.

The two of you were working at different Medbay stations today. You were doing paperwork and taking walk-ins while Na'wi was taking care of the long-term in-patients. You both walked down the corridor until you had to part ways to your respective workplaces for the day. While walking you could feel the looks troopers were giving you. Even under their helmets, you knew they were staring at you. You made it to your Medbay and opened up. At least you were mostly safe from wandering eyes in here. It would take you a little while to get used to this new look. Perhaps it will take the troopers a while to get used to it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Work became tedious, file, after, file, you filled out medical clearance info for the troops. Some needed prescriptions, and some needed assistance devices. You were at it for a few hours before finally deciding to take a lunch break. You had an extra freezer available in your office typically used for storing medical things, but you decided it could go to use storing some of your favorite foods from your home planet. You premade bowls of fruits and vegetables, exotic to most but nostalgic to you. As you warmed up the veggies you saw movement outside the open door of your office. You walked into the main Medbay area to see a trooper standing there awkwardly.

“Hello, how can I help you?” You asked him.

“Uh, I was told to come here for a walk-in?” He looked everywhere except at you.

“Ok have a seat.” You motioned him towards one of the beds while you went and got a Holo pad with a patient form on it.

“Here fill this out.” You gave him the Holo pad.

“I'm just gonna check your vitals while you do that ok?” He nodded.

You lifted his shirt and placed your stethoscope on his back to listen to his lungs. Everything sounded ok, you moved to his chest and briefly checked if he consented to you being under there. He nodded and you continued checking him over. After you were done, You went to grab your blood pressure machine. He finished with the forms and handed you the Holo pad. You took it from him and placed it on the side table.

“Tell me what's going on.” You said to the trooper as you took his blood pressure.

“I uh, have a weird pain in my shoulder. Really hurts when I lift my arm.”

You finished taking his blood pressure and put the machine away. You grabbed the datapad and looked it over. He was CT-7842 and relatively new to the 501st.

“What's your name?”

“Axe.” He replied.

“How long ago did the pain start?”

“After my last mission, about a week ago.” He absentmindedly rubbed his right shoulder.

“Alright, I'm gonna examine you and move your arm around a bit.” You scanned his arm and shoulder with your Holo pad before setting it down. The pad doesn't pick up on more minor muscular injuries as well as a broken bone. It showed no fractures or breaks. You grasped his wrist and upper bicep and moved them slowly in different directions to test his range of motion.

“Tell me when anything hurts.”

He stopped you when his arm was straight out in front of him for the most part. The trooper turned his head towards the door.

“Captain.” He said in a stern voice. You looked up to greet the man standing at the doorway.

“Oh, hi Rex, I'll be with you in a moment. Take a seat.”

The captain sat on a bed across from and adjacent to where you and your current patient sat. Turning your attention back to the trooper in front of you.

“Well, since you still have good enough motion in your shoulder, you either pulled a ligament or have a small tear. Either way, it needs rest and some painkillers. I'm writing you a note, no training for five days while you take your prescriptions. After that, you should be good to go. I'll get those ready for you.”

The trooper nodded. You went to grab him the appropriate medications. You placed them in the back and walked back to Trooper. He was already standing ready to go. You handed him the bag and he left quickly not sparing you a second glance. You grabbed your Holopad while making your way over to the Captain. He quickly gazed over your figure as you walked up to him. Rex blushed, remembering the day's previous events.

[Earlier]

Captain Rex was walking down the corridor on the way to the training center. The training area was full of weights, punching bags, and treadmills. Perfect for any soldier. When he got there he discarded his armor into a locker and headed to the mat. Heading over to a punching bag, he started taking out his frustrations on the poor bag. It swung wildly as he delivered combo after combo. He saw someone move towards him out of the corner of his eye but kept going anyways. The punching bag suddenly stopped swinging and took the punches with ease. Fives popped his head out from behind the punching bag, holding it in place as Rex continued his assault.

“Captain.” He said in a cheeky tone.

Rex nodded at him and continued his workout.

“Sooooo, what's got you all pent up?” Fives asks.

Rex gives him a weird look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, we've just noticed how different you've been acting...Around a certain someone.” The arc trooper says.

Rex heard chuckling from a distant corner. He didn't have to look to know which of his troops had come up with this plan. Rex took a step back and looked at Fives annoyed.

“Care to enlighten me?” Says the Captain.

“Well, our little medic sure was getting special treatment from you on the Umbara mission.”

“Even if she was, which she is not, why would it matter?” Rex says.

“It matters because that would mean our uptight Captain has a crush.” Fives says while raising his eyebrows.

Rex rolled his eyes.

Fives continued. “You don't even look at women when we're on leave, let alone take one to your room. So you having a crush? Unheard of.”

Rex stepped up to the punching bag again with a fighting stance. He threw a few punches at it. Fives stood back as he did so.

“I have duties while I'm on leave, more important duties than getting laid. And I am not uptight.” He said the last sentence with venom as he punched.

Fives was not buying the Captain's excuses.

“Look, it's no secret, she's very beautiful. We wouldn't blame you. We want to help you.” Fives said.

“Help me do what?” Rex looked up at him.

“Get some cute medic ass duh.” Fives chuckled.

Rex's face heated and he clenched his jaw.

“You know, that's not necessary. I'm ok.”

“How much you wanna bet...That she likes you back?” Fives grinned.

Rex's eyes narrowed. “I doubt that.”

“She likes hanging around you, Rex. I'm sure she'd love to do that more. Listen, She's working in the lower Medbay today, you need to go get your knee checked out right?” Fives asked.

“How do you know that?” Rex asked accusingly.

“Don't worry about it. Just go down there and ask her to have lunch or something.”

Rex stood there looking into space. Maybe it wasn't a horrible idea, to have a friend that isn't a fellow trooper.

“Alright fine, I'll do it. But, she is only a friend. Nothing more.” Rex insisted.

“Mhmm right. Well, good luck Cap.” Fives walked away towards the troopers at the far end of the training facility.

They giggled as he approached. Rex knew they were plotting something.

[Present]

Now he knows what they were planning. You looked...very good. He cursed himself silently. He knew he had some small feelings coming to the surface for their medic but did not think he was being obvious about it. He felt dirty lusting at you in your new uniform. Fives knew exactly how to push him. Rex realizes why Fives had him come while you were working. You made it to his hospital bed where he was sitting.

“So, what's the problem soldier?” You smiled warmly at him.

Rex's heart stuttered slightly. He thought back to what Fives said earlier. Lots of them think you're beautiful. Considering how nervous the trooper she treated earlier, he was right.

“Um, I get a Bacta treatment for my right knee every few months.” Rex said.

“Ok great, you don't have to fill out anything for that. What's your CT number?”

Rex was slightly surprised she didn't know.

“CT-7567.”

You tapped away on your Holo pad pulling up his file. He gets regular Bacta gel soaks and tape for strained muscles.

“Alright let me grab the stuff really quick. You'll have to take off your blacks so I can get to the area though ok?”

“Yeah, that's ok.” The Captain replied.

Damn you Fives, Rex thought.

Each bed had a privacy curtain that could be pulled around the beds as needed. You got him a medical gown to change into before pulling the curtain around leaving Rex to his thoughts. He quickly got undressed leaving his armor in a neat pile next to the pile. He took off his pants and slipped into the medical gown. The white garment fell just above his knees. Laying down on the bed he took a deep breath. He heard your voice from beyond the curtain.

“Are you ready?”

“...Yeah.” He replied.

You came in with a rolling cart of supplies. You closed the curtain behind you and settled the cart next to the bed. You sanitize your hands before putting gloves on. Grabbing the Bacta gel you squeezed and generous amount onto your fingers before moving to his right side. Rex lifted the gown slightly giving you more access to the area. You applied the Bacta to his knee thickly trying to keep it neat. Rex watched as you worked. He thought back to the battle in Umbara when you got grazed by a blaster shot. He applied Bacta to you in a similar way. He admired how professional you were. Although he was nervous earlier, you eased his mind by not making this small procedure awkward. After a few minutes, you were done. You discarded the glove that was covered in Bacta gel and replaced it with a fresh one. You placed some gauze on top of the Bacta so it won't dry out.

“Alright well, I'll let you soak here for a little while, probably like twenty minutes. Then we'll do some stabilizing tape and you should be good to go.” You gave him a small smile and turned to leave the curtain.

Rex nodded. You went to your office to continue the reports you were doing earlier. You were distracted while working. Rex has some very muscular thighs. Thinking about a patient like that is highly inappropriate, but you couldn't help it. Honestly, the Captain has been on your mind since Umbara. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a crush on him. You knew you had no chance. Your Captain was married to his career. You had to be kind to yourself, It's ok to have a harmless crush. You just had to make sure it didn't get in the way of your job. You were lost in your thoughts when you realized you'd left him there for thirty minutes. You rushed back to his bunk. and called him before you entered the curtain.

“Rex? Can I come in?”

“Yeah come in.” He said.

You walked opened the curtain and walked in closing it behind you. You got fresh gloves on before removing the gauze and excess Bacta from his knee.

“Sorry about that, I got caught up in work.” You told him.

“I get that, it's alright.”

You silently got the tape ready cutting the appropriate length strips. You applied them over the joint quickly and expertly.

“Alright, you're all set. I'll let you get dressed.” You left the curtain with your supply cart. You walked to your office and placed the cart back with the rest of your supplies. After that, you went back to the bed your first patient was on. Stripping the sheets easily you threw them in the laundry bin in the corner of the room. You got new sheets from your supply closet and put them on the mattress. You heard the curtain open, looking over Rex stood there sheepish.

“Alright, you're good to go Rex.” You told him warmly.

“Right... um.” He didn't look at you directly.

“I was wondering if you'd want to have lunch sometime?” He said.

“Oh! Really?” You were pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, you know, as friends.”

“Oh...Right friends. Um yeah, I'd love to.” You tried to hide your disappointment.

“Great, how about tomorrow?”

“Sure, tomorrow works but we'd have to eat in here I can't leave my post.” You said.

“That's fine.” He smiled at you.

“See you tomorrow Ruusaan.” He said in a low voice as he turned to leave the Medbay.

“Bye...” You said quietly.

Just friends.

[amethystina]

I was tagged by @a-very-fond-farewell! Thank you so much darling 💜

1. Last song: Shishen Take On the Challenge from The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity soundtrack (which I paid a small fortune to get my hands on so you bet I've been listening to it almost non-stop ever since. The music is SO FUCKING GOOD OKAY)

2. Favorite color: Purple — which I feel should come as a surprise to no one xD

3. Currently watching: The Killing Vote, because I apparently need more dramas where the Korean public is allowed to vote on whether or not to execute people. Quite enjoying it so far! The characters are a hoot xD And I'm curious to see what they do with the Kwon Seok Joo dude.

I also just started The Guest because I want to watch it before they remove it from Netflix but BOI. That's not one I'll be able to binge, that's for sure. Horror is great but also, well, terrifying x'D

Though, I must say, I might have to take a detour and rewatch the Along With the Gods movies. I've been meaning to do so for ages and seeing Kim Dong Wook in The Guest makes the urge even stronger. Because, let me tell you, I'm SO EAGER to rewatch the movies and observe the characters now that I've seen the twist at the end of the second movie. A twist I figured out before I actually reached the reveal, sure, but I don't think that's a bad thing? Like, for real, guys. The AUDIBLE GASP I let out when I realised what the twist was going to be and then got to sit there and see it slowly dawn on the other characters? BEAUTIFUL. And it CHANGES SO MUCH. Like, I need to rewatch them because so much of what I thought I knew is now a lie! Circumstances have changed! My initial analysis might be wrong! Characters I thought I knew are now completely different! I need to do more research! I NEED TO KNOW.

(This is what happens when your brain works like mine. And one day I might tell you all about why Kang Yo Han is such a fascinating character to me, because, let me tell you, I've rarely seen a character remain so solid in his characterisation even through the kind of reveals we're given in the drama. It's fucking SPECTACULAR)

4. Currently reading: Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (I do it in bursts because it's not the kind of book I can just binge, okay? x'D), We Have Always Lived In the Castle by Shirley Jackson (I would have finished this LONG ago if it didn't give me so much anxiety (but in a good way?)) and Eld by Mats Strandberg and Sara Bergman Elfgren (though I should probably start over on this one since I was very distracted when I read the first chapter)

5. Last movie: No Regret, because why not dabble in older Korean LGBTQ+ content? It was a ride, that's for sure xD And the next movie will be The World to Come (also one I want to watch before it's removed from Netflix)

6. Sweet/spicy/savory: Either sweet or savoury — it depends on my mood, really.

7. Relationship status: Married! :D

8. Current obsession: I'm not sure if I have one right now? Though I am hoping to get back on track with that diorama thing soon. I've almost collected all the materials I need! I just need fake foliage (preferably red) and I'm going to try and buy that either tomorrow or on Saturday.

9. Last thing you googled? Why my phone kept taking only green photos. And everyone kept telling me I shouldn't have unlocked the bootloader (which I don't think can be done by accident and I sure as hell haven't done it intentionally) so in the end I just restarted it and now it works just fine xD

10. Selfie: I don't really take selfies but here's a cropped version of a drawing WIP of mine.

If you know, you know ;)

(... LOOK, the suspender-pulling had to happen eventually, okay?)

11. Currently working on: Chapter 5 of A New Dawn (Begins With Us) and, after that, it'll be either chapter 37 of Who Holds the Devil or maybe the sequel to Gravitational Pull which I'm STILL struggling to find the time to work on. I'm also working on, like, six different drawings simultaneously. Because why make things easy for myself?

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! Tell me about yourself! :D

[josiebelladonna]

god, instagram has gotten so hostile to artists now.

first of all, they insist that you “create content”, when a.) art =/= content; and b.) there’s just something so smarmy about the way “content” shows up in everything now. it’s very inhuman and synthetic sounding, like you’re just pushing something out the door for the likes, not because you have a story to tell or you do something out of the kindness of your heart.

i hate what they’ve done to stories now—or rather what they’re about to, i haven’t been on there in over a week. see, i actually thought that was a cool little addendum, because i could share things like wips, but also posts that caught my eye or posts i want to support—what made it cool was the privacy of it all. it lasted 24 hours and then it goes away. i got away with posting some dark and erotic art and also some sweet moments between me and alex on live because of the privacy of stories. they’ve got this whole section on your profile now solely dedicated to stories à la reels or the short-lived “ig tv.” never mind completely cluttering the page with more shit and continually bogging everything down for a second: they’re not private anymore, i.e., because i’m as fiery and controversial as i am, i’m a drama magnet (though 99% of the time, it’s not even my fault—people just don’t know what to do with me). i felt like i was playing with fire last year posting the art from the first book of seasons grey: i won’t make it out of the inferno alive now. i know what people are like. i know what women are like, especially when there’s a man involved.

i hate how EVERYTHING is a video now. tumblr is really bad with this (though when i share a video, it’s either something that makes me laugh or something i find interesting; too many of you post videos because video apps have scrambled your brain and those who run websites see that, hey, you like videos, let’s make everything into a video); instagram is utterly rife with this. what used to be a photo app is now just a tiktok clone—“tiktok lite” or “the diet coke version of tiktok” as i call it. you not only have to “create content”, but you apparently have to have the attention span of a gnat to be on there, and jesus christ on a bike, it is so exhausting after a time. i deal with enough tiktok bullshit on ao3 with people abusing the tags/not knowing how it works or how to even string a cohesive sentence together. i also deal with enough tiktok bullshit on here with the same things and people getting all up on their high horse on how they “curate their experience”, like holy shit, do you want an award or something? i don’t need more of it, and especially on a place that should’ve been for me and people like me.

i also am just sick and tired of seeing how much better everyone has it. i know, i know, “it’s just a highlight reel”. but… that very sentiment is coming out of the mouths of the same people posting said highlight reels. why should i believe you when you actively contribute to that sentiment? i get that human nature is complex, but do you really expect me to believe you when you try and convince me that you’re being “real” or “authentic” when you deliberately choose to show me the “good stuff” only? it’s so billie eilish, too, preaching about “authenticity” but there’s simultaneously something off about the whole thing.

i also can’t bear the fact that alex is with someone literally putting him in physical danger/doing fuck all to keep him safe from potential diseases and injuries. there’s no way around it: it’s abuse. it’s abuse, and yeah, she’s one to talk about animals bearing the brunt of all our problems, too. for two years now, i’ve suspected that she’s mentally abusing him, but now we can check off the physical aspect, and it makes me sick to my stomach to think about, especially when i know she’s running testament’s social accounts now—and i have a sneaking suspicion that it’s because of my flirting with alex and i can say without even thinking twice about it that the feelings are mutual. maddy backed me into a corner for literally absolutely no goddamn reason other than out of her own paranoia and insecurities, and now that instagram has completely stripped away my right to privacy, i can’t afford to be on there now, not just as an artist but as someone who’s sexual. control freaks hate losing control, it’s the one thing they’re afraid of… so i’m going to let the machine do that for me. skynet became self-aware to the point it was unstoppable: instagram is headed that way on the back of tiktok. enjoy the control you have now, bitch. i flirt because it’s fun and cute and also sweet and i know it makes him feel good, but she’s apparently way too dumb to realize this. for someone who’s supposedly “brilliant” and “smart”, she sure is dumb.

before chris died, i was thinking of shuttering my old account—and then he did, and suddenly, i found a reason. back then, i felt like the place was getting barren and i also felt short-changed, like “i thought this would be a place for me, now i’m seeing that it’s only good for you when you’re mega-talented and have followers built in.” and that was back then. but if I hated what it was becoming back in 2017, I really hate what it’s become now.

[twipsai]

heyoo! just wanted to say love your rewrite comic of sonic forces!! tis very cool :)

if you don't mind me asking, is anything else going on in this rewrite which you could let us know about? or tis a secret?

ok first of all this ask, the two reblogs you added tags to, and the comment you left literally made me wanna write so much more for this rewrite you have no idea. genuinely such a large motivation burst TYSMMMM

SECOND OF ALL! this rewrite is kind of vague rn, i have an idea for a four or five chapter fic that takes place in the month gap between forces and idw, but (glances at my 2/3rds finished wip thats 32k words rotting in my gdocs) well. im trying to finish something else for the time being, so i have no idea when thats gonna happen

in terms of actually rewriting forces itself, i have quite a few ideas for it but not a lot of concrete things written down -- my main problem with the game, especially after fully playing it (5 hours of my life fucking WASTED), is that it is simultaneously such a serious story, but doesnt take itself seriously in the slightest -- you have, on one hand, Sonic being tortured for six months in a tiny prison cell, but on the other, you have Sonic walking out of there completely fine and it's never acknowledged again. you have, on one hand, two teenagers leading a resistance in a war, but on the other, you have those two teenagers acting bland and uninteresting the entire time. theres so much that could have been done with this story, but instead of grabbing hold of that spark, the writers, instead, decided to write something bland, boring, and worst of all, disingenuous. this is worse than writing something thats bad, in my opinion.

my rewrite takes a lot of notes from my buddy Chip's rewrite called Reinforced (which theyve only really posted about on artfight here), so much so that sometimes i talk about them interchangeably lol, one of the biggest changes in the story is that Tails and Rouge work together. also Infinite is a much bigger threat, specifically to Sonic, and his death is much more intense

this might sound like a deranged thing to say but ive been tossing around in my head what i want Sonic to go through during his time in the death egg, whether i want it to be a white room torture sort of deal, or if i wanna torment him with visions (illusions), so ive sorta been trying to figure out in exactly what way hes fucked up LMAO

additionally, like most other people, im cutting the avatar and Classic Sonic from the script -- theres something to be said about Sonic going through something that fundamentally changes both him and the world, and fighting that threat along side his younger self, but the source material isnt interested in exploring that, so im not either (i actually am, but not in this rewrite,,,, not in this rewrite.) and im cutting the avatar from this in favor of bringing Tails back into the story beyond him being scared and smart for like 10 minutes of the total runtime and then saying "true dat" at the end. i mean cmon!! he watched his big brother presumably die right in front of him! the unbreakable bond, well, broke! thats fucking important! Frontiers and IDW explored this, and i want to as well. its very interesting to me. and he should have been playable. i will die on this hill

also, Sonic doesnt get rescued at the start of the story, it happens wayyy later into the story (right before the climax probably). i hated how they found him practically two seconds after they lost him

a lot of this may be influenced by Sonic Forces Overclocked, which i have plans to play (once i have. free time), since ive heard a lot of good things about it and am very interested in the story it has to tell.

"wheres shadow" idk :( probably brooding in a cave i havent thought that far ahead

[halloweenbitch2764]

Broken Home | Bo Sinclair x Reader

Part Four

Part Three

TW: Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts

Tags: @verymuchsoslytherin @theblueinhiseyes @crowned-gemini @slvt4slasherstiktok @ghostofnothing @ajarofpickledtears @stitchattacks @the-honey-nymph @zoleea-exultant

You didn't want to tell him the situation you had gotten yourself into. But as embarrassed as you were, you trusted Bo. He wouldn't judge you. You sat down on the couch and took a deep breath before patting the seat for him to sit as well. He seemed confused but sat down.

"There's more than just visiting as to why I came here." You started. Bo nodded to show he was listening. "Um, about a couple years ago I met a guy." Bo's heart twisted and felt as though a knife had struck him. Of course you weren't single. You were too perfect.

"He was great ya know? Charming, sweet, a real gentleman. At least that's what I thought. Hell he even convinced me to leave my job. I could be a homemaker. It didn't sound bad. At first it started off minor. He'd call me a name here and there. Then it became everyday. Nothing was to his standard. Dinner wasn't made in time, he didn't like what I made, the house was dirty, and so on." A lump formed in your throat causing you to clear it as tears formed.

"My friends tried to warn me. Said he was no good and they knew it but I never listened. He isolated me. I didn't have friends and barely had my parents. Once he got me to that point he started becoming...physical." Bo's fists clenched and unclenched. Anger boiled in his veins but he tried to remain calm for your sake. You didn't need him to be angry, not yet.

"That started out small too. First it was just punches on my arms. Then slaps to my face. Then he left me a black eye. He told me I would never leave him. I needed him. I didn't have anyone but him after all. Nobody would want me anyways. I was disgusting. My body wasn't attractive, my hair wasn't pretty, and the scars were ugly as sin." You let out a breath as a couple tears fell.

"And I believed him. What was I going to do? I had basically no money to my name. I had been so dependent on him that I felt like I couldn't. I was trapped." You took another breath. "Suicide started becoming more appealing. How else was I going to escape?"

Admitting all of this felt simultaneously horrible and amazing. You had bottled all this up for so long. You were pulling up old memories which hurt but would never heal if not addressed. Bo was looking at you intently, emotions swirling behind his eyes. He didn't know what to feel. Anger? Sympathy? Protectiveness?

"He left for work one day. I had enough. I hid a map and planned my route here. I grabbed my essentials and took the car. I didn't know where else to go and prayed somebody would still be in this town. I'd have stayed here either way." A few more tears fell and you looked up at Bo, who reached and wiped some tears off.

"He told me if I left him that he'd kill me. I don't think it was an empty threat." You whimpered the last part. Before you could control it a sob poured out of your mouth.

Bo had never been good with emotions but you had taught him a few things that he still remembered. So he did what he always did.

He pulled you into a hug, holding you against him and resting his head on top of yours. His arms protected you like your own personal safe haven. Bo had always been your safe haven. You clutched at his shirt as you cried.

It hurt. Everything hurt. Your memories of Kyle hurt. Isolating yourself hurt. Having to leave Bo hurt. You allowed yourself to cry for the first time in God knows how long. You had stopped crying and became numb which lead to bottled up emotions. It's not like Kyle would have listened.

Bo ran his fingers through your hair in a soothing motion and just held you until your cries turned to soft pants and whimpers. He held you until you were quiet and only soft sniffles would come ever so often. He only released you when you pulled away.

"You don't know what seeing you in the church meant to me. I wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't have to worry about being found so much." Your voice was strained from crying and you smiled weakly at Bo.

Bo frowned at your state. He hated seeing you cry. You weren't one to cry often. If you fell you'd get back up, brush it off, and try again. He hated what you had endured. You were so precious, how could anyone treat you like that? Much less a guy who was lucky enough to call you his?

"Does he know about Ambrose?" Bo questioned as he brushed some hair out of your face." He knows Ambrose exists and that it's somewhere in the south. I never told him what state." He nodded.

"We'll skip the grocery run for a bit and just stay in town. I don't want you to leave until you're ready to." You couldn't help but give a soft smile, still weak from crying.

Normally Bo would feel awkward about someone crying in front of him. If anyone did he'd give them an awkward pat on the shoulder and then avert his eyes. He felt natural at comforting you, albeit a bit rusty. He smiled at you.

"That's my pretty girl. Now, I remember you mentioning wanting to see Lester. Do you want me to tell him to come over or do you just want some quiet time?"

You thought it over. "How about just some quiet time for now? Maybe we can invite him over later or tomorrow." You just wanted more one on one time with Bo. Bo felt his heart swell with pride. You wanted him to be there with you, nobody else. "I doubt Lester even remembers me." Bo shrugged slightly.

Bo never stopped mentioning you, even as he got older. Vincent heard the brunt of it but Lester caught your name ever so often. Bo talked about you like you hung the stars in the sky. As he got older the mentioning of your name became rare. At the same time, Bo had started retreating into himself. He had anger outbursts regularly. He also started drinking more.

"Well why don't you catch me up on what other stuff has happened since you left, darlin'?"