#what are my thoughts on gear 5 you ask. this isnt even all of them.

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

So. Hear 5. Nika. Loony Tunes Luffy, if you will. Tell us your thoughts on him and any potential meta? 👀 I’ve been aching to hear it from you since we first saw him go Full Silly Boy.

it's hard to answer this, because i have so many thoughts. i'm just going to try and start from the biggest points and move down.

i like gear five a lot, and i think this development feels very appropriate as a culmination of both luffy's character and the themes of one piece as a whole because of how it interacts with three extremely dominant motifs that have reoccurred throughout the story: freedom, laughter, and the sun.

from the very beginning of the story, luffy has acted, in small ways and big, as an agent of complete freedom. from his first meeting with coby to his breakout at impel down to the liberation of wano, what luffy does is destroy systems that control and oppress, if only because they are in his way. every strawhat is somehow trapped and held back from pursuing their own dreams when they meet luffy, and he frees them all, along with hundreds of others along the way, whether he's inspiring shirahoshi to venture outside or crushing yamato's manacles. his talent for this has always seemed almost preternatural.

luffy is not necessarily a benevolent person; he doesn't care much about helping people in the abstract. he's selfish. he values freedom for freedom's own sake, not because of any greater moral convictions. he doesn't think much about the negative knock-on effects of things like causing a mass breakout at impel down, and he doesn't really go around seeking out downtrodden and oppressed people to free out of a charitable or selfless instinct, nor does he really do anything because it's the right thing to do. he's dismissive of the idea that he might be a hero.

but because he is a completely uncontrollable free agent, and he doesn't really want anything but for himself and everyone he cares about to be completely free, he constantly collides with the systems of oppression that control his world, and when those collisions happen, it is the systems that fail, time and time again, because oppressive systems always do eventually. they can't withstand the light of day. and because he lives completely confidently and unapologetically, he is constantly inspiring others to do the same.

so by the time we are told about nika for the first time, we already know that what nika is said to do is what we've seen luffy doing for more than a thousand chapters: he frees people, and inspires them, and makes them laugh.

i also find luffy-as-nika to be very interesting and thematically appropriate when positioned in opposition to the various antagonists in one piece who have declared themselves to be gods, frequently some of its most tyrannical and oppressive villains- enel, the celestial dragons, doflamingo. all enslave and imprison people, robbing them of their freedom.

nika is a god of slaves, and a creature of liberation. the natural enemy, as rosinante might say, of that sort of megalomaniacal 'god.'

one piece has also consistently connected the theme of freedom, as embodied through luffy, with the sun since very early on. the sun pirates, former slaves, used the symbol of the sun to wipe away the brand of the celestial dragons. (and aren't i curious to know what jinbei might know about nika- he never did answer who's who's question about it.) the fishmen more broadly view the sun as something to be reached when they are truly free. on wano, the coming dawn is understood as the coming liberation. impel down and the florian triangle, places of indefinite imprisonment, are lightless dungeons where the sun doesn't reach. the sun is freedom.

and luffy has always been thoroughly sun associated, from the visual of his hat to his origin on dawn island in the east blue, to his ship, the thousand sunny.

finally, one piece has always placed a great deal of emphasis on smiles and laughter (laugh tale, joy boy, roger laughed, etc)- but that joy must be real. it can't be forced. we're told again and again, through koala, dressrosa's toys, and most obviously the victims of the failed SMILE fruits, that to force someone to smile, denying them the right to cry, is nothing less than an atrocity. people can't be forced to be happy- they should be happy because they're free.

luffy in gear five is laughing nigh-constantly, but it's just because he's having so much fun. unlike the victims of the SMILE fruits, his endless joy is genuine, because in this form, he is completely free- nobody can stop him, and nobody can control him. as he says himself, he can do whatever he wants.

i know that some people felt this moment was in some way a deus ex machina, but it just didn't feel that way to me, because of how well it plays on the story's established themes and trajectory, as well as concepts like devil fruit awakening having been established hundreds of chapters back.

luffy is the sun, the sun is freedom, freedom is joy. i think it makes total sense.

[devilbombers]

Hhhhiiiiii!!! This is the same anon from the yuri ask!!! 1st thank u soo much for answering my question 💕 & 2nd PLS DO GO OFF about how u feel negatively towards yuri PLSSSSSS!!! *clutches on to your shoulders like a mad man* it's not that I don't want to feel bored with yuri I genuinely WISH I could find a good yuri series but it's sooo hard & at some point u do get kind of tired of digging through all the other garbage yuri series that's out there & when u do find a good yuri series it's either some obscure yuri series that nobody's ever heard of that came out in the 90s/00s or the series got canceled due to poor sales/the publishing company just didn't give a fuck about it in the 1st place. Which is y it ALWAYS grinds my gears when I c ppl b like "would u himejoshis stop bitching because your yuri series aren't as popular as the BL/yaoi genre, y don't u just make your own yuri series/write your own yuri fanfics 🙄" like BRUH WHAT DO U THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!?!? Sorry I actually have standards for the media I consume & not consume the same uke & seme toxic yaoi skinny twink series for the 500 millionth time in a row

I could cry over how much i understand you. (you are right and you should say that abt bl) this world is too cruel. Real Himejoshis like us need to stick together 🤝 i can send you all 5 series i can think of thats actually good if youd like.

tyvm for indulging my manic frusturations. This is certainly gonna be a long post saurrrr ill have to put it under a read more lmao. You asked for it so the gloves are completely off with this one and i thought abt it again and i actually dont care if anyone thinks im wrong.

I've come to the sad realization yuri can only REALLY be categorized like the following:

#1: yuri that is boring

unfortunately the usual case with 90% of yuri especially with new series

usually plays upon overused tropes making everything abt it lack any uniqueness to it

it is such an epidemic its forced himejoshis to become resigned to accepting these things into their hearts and even pretending its the shit when really its just shit 😭

its hard to give examples bc this makes up almost all yuri i can think of

#2: Non-Existent yuri

A series with really gay girls but they dont ever explicitly say theyre in love.

ex. dungeon meshi

Most himejoshis will on in the hill of saying they love subtext but we all know and especially themselves know that isnt true

#3: Yuri that is unserious as fuck

Theres a lot of drama yuri out there but it is always so fucking unserious it just ends up being funny as fuck instead

ex. Onii-Sama E and my girlfriend isnt here today

quite often this type is also associated with erotic media. But theyre so goddamn unserious it dosent matter how sexy either of them are, it immediately makes them so unsexy the minute they start talking.

i would only say ive succumbed to believe i love this genre bc i love to laugh at it sm

#4: Yuri where one or sometimes BOTH of them are dead 💀

i literally dont care i hate the "bury your gays" trope so much. it just aggravates the shit out of me bc what is even the point anymore then

great example of this is Alien stage

personally i feel like the only yuri that can exist like this and is actually genuinely good is obviously PMMM (i will fight everyone on the planet over this IDC)

#5: side character yuri

sort of a popular trend. kind of goes hand in hand with non-existent yuri but personally i think they count as different entities sometimes

extremely minor plot points or concurrent small interactions between side characters thats kind of gay as shit

theyre either EXTREMELY GAY or just a little gay theres no inbetween (either way, people will lie one way or another to say its really good)

despite the fact this yuri is quite ephemeral or absolutely nothing some ppl will still call this media wholly yuri for whatever maniacal reason

#6: YURI THATS TOO FUCKING SHORT

Unfortunately the best type of yuri also happens to be too goddamn short (usually limited to oneshots, anthologies, manga series no more than 25 chapters)

All my favorite yuri happens to be like this and i always scream at god for making life like this

If i hate anything in this world its liars, so i probably hate other himejoshis very much bc i keep constantly reading suggestions people hype up on the internet and ultimately being disappointed every single time because its never as good or unique as anyone says.

Its easy to say i hate them but its probably pity. I pity my fellow man that i consistently watch them fall for yuri underneath a wooden box held up with a stick and rope.

With all this being realized; its hard to ignore the truth of it all when trying to get into yuri regardless of it. So ive finally decided to stop listening to literally anyone anymore and ive ultimately stopped seeking it out bc im tired lmao

[basilly]

if its alright, can i request a platonic tubbo and tommy with a streamer friend who just absolutely does not care of themself- literally passed out while streaming from exhaustion type beat- and the two having to talk to them constantly about taking care of themself? if this makes you uncomfortable im so sorry! feel free to ignore <3

no all good! this one isnt uncomfy at all!

exhaustion || p!tommy & p!tubbo x reader

. pronouns: they/them

. mentions: ignorance/neglect of self care, hospitals, fainting

. platonic!! reader is a streamer!

. as a streamer, you often found yourself neglecting your self-care, instead choosing to stream for your fans or busy doing your own things

. your fans worried about you often, but it was your two best friends who worried the most

 . the first time they had found out, it was quite terrifying for them

. it had been a long week and you were about to end stream when tommy and tubbo joined

. however, you really wanted to stay and hang out with them, so you pushed your exhaustion off, opting to have something to eat/drink to keep you up and going

“Alright so what we need is some more logs and diamonds- we need maxed out gear.”

“Tubbo, y/n, should we get a S to the L to the A to the V?”

“Uhh- sure. y/n?”

. they had gotten no response

. you had actually tried to get up for a second, but as soon as you reached your bed, you had passed out

. the boys had freaked, especially since this had never happened and didn’t get a response for over 5 minutes, which was quite odd, quickly ending their own streams and spam calling you

. soon enough, they thought to reach your guardian/roommate- which they had found you passed out and taken you to the emergency room

. tommy and tubbo were worried sick, and instantly asked their parents to take them to see you

“please mum, y/n is in the hospital and they fainted in seconds- we need to see them! its important!”

. after a lot of convincing, they were off

. you had just woken up when they arrived, the white lights blinding you, eating the gross hospital food

“y/n! you’re okay thank goodness”

“you dumb idiot- why would you scare us like that. don’t do it again”

“thanks guys, i’m sorry you had to come all the way out here- i’m fine really, i was just exhausted”

. them:   >:(

. after that, they would call and text u everyday constantly to check up on you, to see if you were drinking water and eating

“hey y/n did you have water yet?”

“drink ur water.”

“ok ok i will”

. they even would try and get chat in on it

“oh my gosh thanks for the raid tubbo! i appreciate it, I hope you had a great stream.”

chat: “have you eaten?” “Did you drink water” “how are you doing y/n?”

-_- on your end

“chat, i am okay- did tubbo ask you to send them?”

“no snitches here”

. or even make subgoals

“hey guys if we reach our subgoal, I will bug y/n to get water, eat, and go to bed”

“tommy wtf”

. they just want the best for you, they worry for you often

. after a while they would tone it down

. however, if it happened more after that, they would def be on your case

. similar to tommy helping wilbur with his anxiety, he will try to do whatever he can to help you, even if it’s just a tiny bit

. tubbo would just be the most caring, not wanting you to get too annoyed and trusting you if you say you’re okay

. like soft voice, trying to ease you into getting rid of your exhaustion and take care of yourself

“hey if you don’t feel up to it, you don’t have to- you can go shower and eat”

. every couple weeks they may have you talk with them (if you’re comfortable about it) to see if you’re taking on too much

. if you even mention feeling like you might pass out again, they would stop everything they’re doing to convince you to feel better and help

. you mean the most to them and your health is a priority to them

. would encourage you to take a break once in a while when it gets too much

. lots of best friend love all around <3

an: i love platonic tommy and tubbo- friends like them is just urgh <3

requests are open!

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

My Love| Echo (part 6 beejesus...)

Notes: this ones short my bad, also this way shock you. I also have a strong urge to make hondo show up perhaps in the Future

Warnings: sad flashbacks, death and disease mentioned, cannablistic mentions (not eating anyone but like the word), cursing,

Reader: Male

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 3.5 | 4 | 5 | 6 (you're hah here)

Masterlist

That wasn't possible.

"What a shame." Maul spoke, turning himself around and walking away the Pyke leader following him.

This was wrong.

"If we came for this it better be important." Hunter spoke snatching the drive, "we leave now,"

"Me and Jacob they'll return you to your ship." The teen spoke up, "but be quick we'll need to leave with the transports."

It was a silent stealthy journey back to the ship, Echo being pushed along the way by Wrecker mostly as he was trying to process what was being told to him.

So...Y/n was dead? No that was possible- they couldn't of killed everyone.

He walked onto the ship the twins wishing them luck as they rushed back off into the darkness. He took a seat on his bunk, removing the head gear and mask, his gaze trapped within the grain of the metal.

"Tech get us out of here." Hunter demanded.

Wrecker watched Echo, his brows furrowed and in conflict.

"Hey. Kid." Wrecker spoke nudging Omega softly, "Good job out there."

"I just stuck to the plan." She smiled.

"Wanna do one more mission?" He asked playfully she nodded happily.

"Go find Lula. I think someone needs her." Wrecker spoke as Omega nodded rushing to find the Tooka doll.

Wrecker walked over to Echo, sitting across from the reg, Echo kept his gaze down.

"Hey."

"I don't, I don't understand." Echo responded, "I- I don't..."

"It's okay-" Wrecker tried to speak.

"But it isnt." Echo seethed.

The sudden jolt told them they had jumped to hyperspace. Echo rubbed over his eyes.

"What was Y/n's family doing associated with the Empire..." Echo spoke, "I...I don't..."

Wrecker frowned, Hunter watching the cockpits doorway, his brother lost and confused, let down and heart broken.

Walking into the cockpit the door closed behind him.

"You'll want to see this Hunter." Tech spoke, "Echo was right."

Hunter took a seat, "Y/n's code name is Rosyln then?"

"In a sense yes, yet It is many things." Tech informed, "It's multiple things, a name, a code name, a secret military operation."

" a what." Hunter demanded answers now.

"On this disk it says Project Rosyln was ment to help in implicating...hunger in a sense.."

"Hunger?" Hunter asked, "Hunger for what?"

"Flesh, sentinel flesh," Tech responded, "They had many failis dead on contacts, until. Rosyln."

"The dead brother of Y/n's Echo mention." Hunter spoke as Tech nodded.

"He survived it, partially, resulting in an outdated inner rim disease known as Cancer." Tech responded, "though it is not sepcified what type, he died young."

"So how does Y/n fit into it?"

"Rosyln was Y/n's younger brother by adoption law on corosaunt, and the Zabrack was not lying when he said The L/n family was ontop the imperals kill list, it was ment for them to go into hiding, to essentially metophorically and phsycially slip into the dark." Tech contuined.

"Okay so the kids?"

"Test subjects." He responded, "farm animals, future death troopers fueled by anger and loss, much more. Hunter, They weren't a family, those people they called there parents? Used them."

"Can we save any of them? Y/n? The older kids? The young ones? Anyone?" Hunter questioned.

"This here is a list of kids of Y/n's family," Tech spoke, plugging into the panel infront of him as the hologram formed, "red are dead, there eay of leaving is by there name. Jay here died of rejection of food, he starved to death. Siora drowned herself in the shower room-"

"Thats enough Tech. Who's alive." Hunter demanded.

"Y/n here is still alive, but that is all." Tech responded opening the file, "but has a number of unstablizing test ran on him, it shows here his diet was starting to change from normal foods to sential flesh, but before they could change him fully he escaped."

"How."

"Unknown."

Hunter was silent, for a moment as Tech closed the file, going through the others, "This also contains other information, such as helpful codes the imperals are now using, current inflation in imperal troopers, comn chatter and resources-"

"Don't let Echo see this." Hunter spoke.

"Hunter, I. I don't think this is a good idea." Tech told him, "You'e seen what he'll go through already to see him again. Hunter that was a sith he went up on, a Pyke leader."

"He doesn't need another thing to have a mental break down on. What happens if we find Y/n? Dead in a ditch-." Hunter argued, "if we can't fix him- we can't even help Crosshair None the less ourselves!"

"Hunter, he deserves to know." Tech defended, "let's be real here Hunter, we've nevee been there for him, we saved him from one hell to put into another, we can't help him because we don't understand him."

Hunter was silent, he knew Tech was right, "You're right." Hunter told him.

Tech pulled the disk from the panel looking back at Hunter, "Hunter I know this is hard. But this is his family. And I wish for a time in my life, I was wrong."

Hunter stayed silent walking out the cockpit, and down the small hallways, Omega trying to cheer Echo up with Lula and Wrecker with a supportive smile.

"Echo."

Echo looked back, "Tech wants to uh...show you something."

Echo got up without a word walking into the cockpit.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Omega questioned looking up at Hunter.

"Sure he will!" Wrecker tried to stay postive looking back at Hunter who kept his gaze down.

"Not this time Omega." Hunter told her, as she leaned in for a hug, he patting her head as she hug his stomach.

Tech walked out the cockpit, the doors closing behind him, "Echo wishes to take first watch while we rest," Tech informed.

"Where do we go next from here?" Omega spoke looking up at Hunter.

"We'll keep working jobs for Cid, seeing what we can do." Hunter responded, "Tech when Echo is done with that disk, see if anything on there has Crosshair on it."

"I have alredy copied the disk, I will look through it more on my watch after Echo's." Tech responded.

Hunter nodded

"hey kid." Wrecker spoke up, "lets go play a game together."

Omega nodded as Wrecker picked up Omega the two walking away to her room, Hunter mentally thanking Wrecker.

"How'd he react." Hunter responded.

"He hasn't." Tech responded, "I left it plugged in. He has the option. I just don't know if he's used it."

It was true, Echo had the option, the wanting, but he sat in his chair, staring at the disk sitting in the panel.

This was it.

This was the ticket, he could know, move on, grt some type of closure either Y/n was dead or alive. Even if Y/n was dead or alive he let Y/n's biggest secret slip.

'Just...I don't like people to pity his name.' Y/n told Echo, the two standing in all black together and umbrella over head as they walked the cemetery, 'he fought hard, that's all that matters, and there's no reason you should pity someone for when you loose,'

Echo nodded at him, 'I won't tell anybody, I understand to a degree, but if you need to talk, I want to listen,'

Y/n nodded, 'Thanks again for comin along Echo, not the best way to meet my baby brother,''

'I was glad to meet him, either way,'

Echo rubbed the back of his neck, finger's scratching at his nape. Standing up and walking over his hand hovered over the disk, should he pull it out? Should he press that small white button to let every fear he's had consume him?

He pulled the disk out, this was the right choice. Whatever he needed to know. He'd learn from y/n when he'd see him. Rubbing over the disk he slid it in his belts pouch and sat in the piolts seat looking out into the blue swirls. He was doing it again.

Sitting in silence, watching nothing new pass him by. Y/n was alive, if the others believed it or not was there choice, it was there opinion, he knew what he was saying was a fact, and he didn't need no disk to tell him so.

But the question still remained, Why was Y/n involved in crime syndicates and with Sith?"

The male turned himself around shoulder hair length, strings of white in his hair; stress induced.

"It's done." Lom Pyke spoke, "The kids are out, where is the spice."

"It's on the ship don't you worry." He spoke.

"You've returned the favor after I've said you returned the favor."

"Then we've returned the favor." Lom Pyke argued.

"I did everything you asked!" Lom Pyke argued, "I've stuck my neck out for you more than you can imagine you cannablistic bitch!-"

The pyke leader was cut off, lifted into the air as he gripped at his neck, and brought forward quickly, choking on the lack of air.

"Do you know who I am?" The man questioned quietly.

"L-let-" the pyke tried to speak stratching at his neck for breath, "let me g-go!"

"Oh...you don't?" The man questioned, "I was afraid once...not to long ago, afraid as you are now..."

The sound of choking made him pause adding slight pressure, "p-please!"

"I am no longer afraid...I am..." the man thought, any more and the pyke leader would die, "Well, funny thing is, I don't even know who I am anymore...but I do know, that, you, owe me much more than you think."

The man was dropped to the floor, attempting to catch air, "Perhaps, you wish, once to see who I was, to see how I became this thing you call a cannablistic bitch!"

"Please! No-" He defended, raising his head to look up in plead, "Not again! Not that place!"

A hand was placed on his head, as the Sith lord walked in. Within a matter of seconds the Pyke fell limp, the man pushing him over as he fell and rolled down the small stells of the elevated ledge.

"You're here for a reason Maul?"

"I am indeed, that clone, you told to meet us on Zut, there were clones."

"Entertain me Maul." He spoke, walking down the small steps, the hells of his boots clicking as he made it down the steps.

"Seems you're little buddy Captain dipshit isnt the only clone that's defected. That little Ray shit of your's hacked the imperal files." Maul spoke, his tone as usual, dark, broody, annoying to the mans ears, "Clone force 99, may just be on our side."

The man snatched the datapad from him, "and they have a child with them. How wonderful."

"Status' as of current."

"Like I said that dipshit of yours sursingly has his corners covered. Ray's tracking them as we speak." Maul told.

The man looked through the photo's there he was in all his glory, sure angry but just as remembered.

"Lets hope an ex sith lord, a fucked up group of clones, a cannablistic bitch kill, and some kids can help kill your old ass wrinkly master." The man spoke Maul snatching the data pad back and making his leave.

"Oh. And one know's who you are." Maul responded standing in the door way, "Before I gave them anything, one knew Rosyln is Y/n,"

[kaz11283]

Fire and Ice: Chapter 4

Chapter Summary: you get to meet mor of the team members and you get adjusted to your new life in the tower. Loki is still giving you the cold shoulder.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~

Thor showed you the rest of the tower before leading you down to the living room where the rest of the team was.

"Lady y/n, this is the living space. Most of the time this is were everyone is together. Meet the avengers." You gave a slight wave to everyone that was there. You notices Nat and Clint sitting together toward the back of the room and smiled, Bucky and Sam were having some sort of disagreement while Steve just laughed shacking his head. When he notice you he stood walking over to greet you.

"You'll have to ignore those two. If theres something to disagree with they'll find it. Steve Rodgers ma'ma, pleasure to meet you." He stuck his hand out shacking yours.

"Nice to meet you too Steve. I've heard a few things about you. My roommate is a big fan." You smiled. Looking around you noticed Loki sitting by one of the windows staring straight at you, you felt your heart flip a few times before smiling at him. He rolled his eyes and went back to reading whatever he was reading. "See Thor, he absolutely hates me." You whisperer.

"Hes just trying to adjust." Thor placed his hamd on your lower back guiding you through yet another door. This one lead to a high tech lab where Tony and Bruce were at.

"If it isnt the man who completely uprooted me, brought me to a undisclosed location, and didnt take no for an answer. Its a pleasure to meet you Mr. Stark." You smiled sticking out your hand.

"Now in my defence I didnt bring you to an undisclosed location. I think everone knows where the tower is located. But after the compound is built no one is gonna be able to find us." He laughed taking your hand, you noticed him looking you over. "Your smaller than I would have imagined. Complete opposite from what I had compared you to. Not as .... Ummm... Pointy." He made a weird jester with his hands. You could only assume he was comparing you to Loki.

"Well as they say Mr. Stark, I do have horns holding up this halo." You laughed.

"I like her. Lets just get rid of reindeer games and keep her." He said pointing a screwdriver at you smiling. "Oh, heres this, state of the art Stark Macbook and Stark Phone. Online classes start for you Monday, you have all your normal classes. They will just be broadcasted to you on here, yes you can go back and rewatch them but you do still need to be there for the live feed also. If you need the book heres a card, use that for you. No limit." He handed you a black Mastercard.

"I truly appreciate it, really, but I cant take this." You tried handing it back.

"You can, you will. Everyone in the tower has one, no limits. Well Nat and Pepper have limits, I swear between those two i would be broke in no time. Anyways, not the point, you'll also need training gear. Use it for that if nothing else."

"Thank you Mr. Stark. Really for everything." You said grabbing the dtuff he had given you an slipping the card into your back pocket.

"Stop calling me that, Mr. Stark was my father. Tony will be fine." He said getting back to what he was working on.

"I call him Man of Iron." Thor said placing his hand on your lower back leading you out.

"Dont, for gods sakes, dont call me that." Tony yelled after you.

"Everyone is meeting in the living room for a movie of you would like to join us." Thor asked. You were completly drained from your firdt day at the tower, had it really just been this morning since you were in your own room? It felt like eons ago.

"No Thor, I just want to go take a shower, adjust to everything going on, and unpack my stuff. Maybe look for somethings to decorate my room, but thank you." You turned walking back to your room in silence.

On your way to your room your mind was all over the place, how did you not know that you were from Asguard, had your parents not really been there your whole life? Did your parents even actually exist or was it some made up something or other like a dream? You had just talked to your mom yesterday, maybebit was just some mind control thing making you beleive you had been talking to her. You placed your hand on the bridge of your nose rubbing it as you leanes aginst a wall trying to collect your thoughts.

"You seen very troubled." His voice ws like silk, you had only heard it once before but you knew when you looked up you would see him standing there in his usual green and black. You knew this man didnt like you but something inside of you drew you to him. When you looked up he was leaning aginst the wall directly in front of you, looking like he was trying to figure out an answer to a ridiculously hard question.

"I just want to know why this is happening? Are my parents even real? Do I have powers? What are they if i do. I just want to know. Why do you hate me?" You sighed leaning your head back aginst the cool wall. You heard his breath catch, before you knew it he was directly in front of you, hands on either side trapping you there. Your heart lept, not from the danger that you were in, but the closeness.

"I do not hate you, I could never hate you. You do not realize this but we were ment to be together, two parts of a whole. You can not stand here and tell me you do not feel drawn to me as I am you. I have loved you from the day we first met so long ago, playing as kids in my mothers garden. It simply pains me that you do not remember us, what we had, our past. Darling trust my words when I say that if Odin wasnt dead I would surly kill him for taking you from me and making me beleive you dead for all these years." He leaned down breathing in your scent and gently leaving a kiss on our cheek before turning around and walking off leaving you even more confused and jittery than you were.

~~~~

Chapter 5

~~~~~

Tag list:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[violetnotez]

Hi! Ummm. I’ve had a bit of a difficult day. I was hanging out with my family friend’s daughter (7 y/o). Everything was going great, until she asked about my skin (I was in a bathing suit, so I showed more skin than usual). I have a really severe case of dermatillomania that’s affected me for around 5 years now, and it’s a huge source of embarrassment for me. I have trouble looking people in the eyes at times because of my face, and I don’t wear tank tops, because it shows off my shoulders (1/2)

As I said, I’m having a tough time coping, so I was wondering if maybe you could write something where Shinsou/Deku/Tama/Shouto’s s/o (pick your favs) has dermatillomania? And maybe Shiggy as well, but like, as an older brother?? I know he has it too, and it’s the first depiction I’ve seen of it in popular media, so he’s kinda special to me. 😌 Don’t feel like you have to, just looking for some support, and you’re such a wholesome person, so. 🙈 I love you so much!!! Many thanks - 📸 anon

Hey babe! Im so sorry your feeling under the weather, you are so so strong, really. Im really honored you came to me, and I tried to get this out as fast as I could! I tried to gear it to your situation, but also to anyone that has skin conditions that feel insecure about them <3 I hope these make you feel better!!!!!

(also i didnt proofread as well as I usually do, so sorry for typos!!!)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

Shinsou

If your ever feeling down, Shinsou’s the type of boyfriend to make cuddle you and make you giggle

And by giggle, make you so flustered you wont remember what you were even feeling down about

Lots of pet name- mostly “babe” and “kitten”, CAUSE CMON ITS CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“Cmon kitten, can you give me a smile? Just one-you know how much I love them”

Once you tell him your feeling down about your skin, he is just gonna give you the most nonchalant smile as he cuddles your body into his chest

“I dont see anything wrong with your skin...honestly, I see everything right about it”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

Deku

Okay-this baby, as smart as he is, didnt realize what your condition was at first

Honestly just thought it was your quirk

But once he realizes its an actual condition, that your insecure about, THIS BOY IS GONNA BE SOOOO SUPPORTIVE

Also is just going to be so empathetic towards you

“Gosh I didnt realize you were going through all that-your so amazingly strong, dont ever forget it!”

Will of course research it and take notes about it- anything revolving you he will immediately research it, hope you know that

He will pick up all your little mannerisms- if your hand are fidgeting, he will immediately hand you a little stress reliever ball to get ylur mind off of it or even do thing like play video games or do some training

In public if he notices you getting shy around others, he’ll give you an encouraging smile

“Here”- he will give you his hand, and then pull you closer to him so you know he is right there beside you

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

Tamaki

As socially awkward as he is, he would HATE to see you uncomfortable in public

He understands the struggle you are going through, always feeling stressed out around others and if they are judging or staring, but he’ll try to help you overcome it as best he can

WHICH MEANSSSSSS TAMAKI CUDDDLESSSSSS

Honestly tho Tamaki cuddles are really just him hugging you really realllyyyyyy soft

This boy may be blushy but he will just shower you in affection and affirmations

“You know your beautiful, right?”

Just so so sooooooo incredibly sweet about all your insecurities

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

Shoto

Shoto is NOT shallow-like at all

And by shallow I mean he isnt geared tawrds appearances-but character and perosnality

So when you tell him about your insecurities, hes immediately just so confused

“What do you mean you feel self-conscious? To me, you look absolutely fine,”

But he will understand how you feel once you explain it him- after all, he has his own skin issues too

In public he is just the sweetest little bean verrrrr

Like very protective and makes sure you feel safe

If he ver spots soemone staring at you/you feeling uncomfrotable, he’s immediately gonna kick into Protective Boyfriend Mode

Will grab your hand gently and pull you close to him, his walk going a little faster to get you out of the uncomfy situation

“Just follow me dear- youre going to be fine”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

Bonus: Shiggy!

If anybody so much as gives you a wierd stare uhhhhhh

they dead

But honestly Shigaraki would probably be protective of you, like a little sister!

He gives good advice, that is just worded very very wrong

“The hell you worried about others opinions? Theyre all just little pieces of trash anyway”

SHiggy we get your angsty but you cant call society ALL trash some of us are decentttttttt

If you tell him about feeling insecure, he will instantly get defensive for you and creepy

“Huh. so somebody’s been bothering you? Oh dont worry, Ill take care of it-”

He is like a ticking time bomb with tooooo much power and time PLS CONTROL HIM

After he’s done making death threats, he will listen to your insecurities and honestly probably feel empathy for the first time in a while

He gets what your going through, and it pains him to see someone he actually cares for go through something that he is bothered with too

After your down spilling your emotions, he will give you a thoughtful look and the smallest grin

“Word of advice- people will judge you at some point, you cant control that. So control what you do and give them shit for ever thinking less of you.”

Very um-honest adivce!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

Again, I really hope this helped you some and Im sorry for this post being so late! I hope your feeling better babe! <3

[24-guy]

I spent 2 hours on writing notes from the prison podcast stream.

Now I don’t know what to do with them, so I’m putting them here. 

No need to read them, there is just some interesting stuff I noticed, things like tones and how many times somethings are brought up. 

if you do, though, I apologize  for spelling errors. 

start stream

techno "did the calculations" on how long it would take to mine obsidian with the amount of mining fatigue they had. we knoe this is true.

dream has been writing, it is the only thing hes been able to do with the limited items he has. its his "diary"

techno teases over fanfics on wattpad

"the only thing ive written is my diary" do the revive books not count, then? or what is in the revive books that isnt writing?

techno focuses on that nobody is watching - dream doesnt comment on it - dream doesnt know about the voices?

techno is supposed to break dream out, but he hasnt got many ideas "ill get to it later"

techno enjoys prison - sees it as a vacation

techno has an optimistic outlook.

go with the flow

dream sees harming himself as exhillerating techno disaprooves

dream tells techno quackity has been torturing him everyday. techno is only surprised by the every day part

dream mentions the revive book techno remembers being told about that asks "yeah you can bring people back from the dead. yeah so how do you do that" - curious tone, seems genuinely interested for innocent meanings dream responds " i have.. the knowledge and then i get a book and then i burn it" - hesitant at first, then vague but seemingly honest reponse

techno asks what the knowledge is, incantation/password/expelliarmus dream says "something like that" slowly, then quickly says he doesnt know and that he "doesnt know how schlatt had it" - going away from the topic original book - there are more than one it is a book is what youre saying - t well... i mean, it was a book that i memorised and that now i can recreate - d techno tries again to get the knowledge he wants to revive people dream doesnt want to tell techno because he wouldnt be the only one who knew techno tries to bargain saying that if dream died, techno coulld bring him bacl dream knows they wont kill him because he can revive people

dream says no, techno says "you forgot how to write it down didnt you dream says he didnt, that he did it recently, techno repeats again that dream forgot brings up wattpad again. dream says he wrote it down for tommy. he doesnt mention wilbur to techno. bring up the homeless situaation prison is dreams house cell is boiling apparently makes a joke about cali rent prices

nobody visited the cell "we stopped anarcy" "when we get out of here" no though ahead going into this situation (techno) "just as far as i need to" dream doesnt know what techno means by stream schedule, techno jokes about dream's lack of schedual techno usually trains always looking for new combat, reasearching constant arms race no idea when a government will arise or opressing people is always prepared has a good amount of gear he also plays golf somewhere offers a game with dream no way to describe it somewhere farther than his house

dream asks about tommy techno hasnt seen him canonically, only knows he stole acouple months ago - as far as he tells dream

dream asks about carl carl is doing well

dream asks about the family its doing good, apparently, new foxes, got steve who will break him out dream writes about steve "i will write evrrything down because its hard to remember" another fanfic joke

dream asks whos feeding them they feed themselves its probably fine

milld break for 4 wall break

gist or jist

prison podcast offers, agrees that is all this is

technical difficulties

podcast bros

eating potato

dream offers his thoughts on what would happen of he tried to revive somebody who is alive two technoblades human meat sheild

dream wants to try no death first what could go wrong nothing else to do

techno house is man vs nature conflict floor has ants floof brings ants spilled pet food dream has a revivebook techno tries to read it first hit with book a small wait throw into lava DreamXD joins broke the table fixed table a god dream "cloned himsef" god looks exactly like dream feels like a question to ask earlier dream summoned dreamxd ask for wish ask for bell dream gets mad because no escape dreamxd leaves sellout timer goes off techno makes money as dream questions his life dream sits in corner hole techno aims to be annoying we count channel members for a bit

dream and techno friend bonding time?

summons dreamxd for reviving nobody dream writes this in his diary as techno rings bell tries again, it doesnt work creative mode is a known thing by mortals they know how deadly it is

warden on vacation

techno hasnt written anything he has at least 4 books in his inventory, going from the top 2nd space to the top 5th space. the fourth book is called information and is signed by dream. dream throws a potato in the lava techno asks for the revive book again, this time to see of dreamxd will come back because it is a different person summoning him dream says no

techno needs a bell to sell out for the *brand*, ritual and tradition dream put the bell in church prime no twitch primes for dream - hes a heratic (no contract) dream makes no profit dream has lots of raw potatos for 5-6 months

techno asks if dream has any friends dream says not really, they turned against him techno knows the feeling being betrayed by closest friend happens every tuesday for techno

dream mentions being visited by a few people techno asks if any tried not to torture or kill him dream says yeah like he wasnt expecting the question/(as techno put it) "he hesitated"

sapnap - didnt torture or kill him - but he said if dream got out of there, then he would - techno says hes gotta raise his standards

bad - was the best - treated dream the best - techno says hes a cult leader - dream is surprised so techno tells him about the egg - techno wasnt clear - bad hasnt viseted since 4-5 months ago - techno says even he has friends - egg was attacked - big crossover episode not clear what is going on

techno - last time they saw each other was dooms day - been a while - lot has happened - techno doesnt now whats going on currently on the server - he knows nothing - "people" tell him who died and who came back

tubbo - asks about tubbo - tubbo is chillng - snowchester named - commune - a little sus - dictator - no rushing to conclusions - tubbo has nukes - big crater - a hoby - could be meteor

ranboo - asks about ranboo - ranboo is also chilling - brings up tubo's nukes now

dream points out that techno said he didnt know anyting and then said about a new place, nukes, and a lot more dream doesnt know anything - less than techno

ranboo (again) - dream says he used to visit a while ago and then stopped coming - techno asks "ranboo used to visit?" - ranboo visited "a bit" - probably visited the most - sapnap visited - tommy visited a couple of times - bad visited - and quackity - quackity visited the most, only because hes visited daily

more potatos pog potatos

ranboo (x3) - techno asks how dream knows ranboo - "um... its just a.. long story" - techno replies sarcastically about how they dont have any time to go through it, theyre so busy with the bell - dream "i dont know him very well. he just visited a few times and that was it." - techno just repeats alright, its either bored or thinking - dream "and then i havent seen him since then so thats why i was wondering where hes been, if hes been around" - techno " ah... im not sure. i havent been around fpr like the past couple of months, honestly."

techno went on  atraining montage, played golf

dream asks about the plan to get out mining fatigue 3 doesnt mean they cant break blocks, its just approximately 370 times longer breaking obsidian takes a bit over 4 minutes math = obsidian block gone in 25.7 hours. an alarm break in the right spot break block in toilet elder guardian below the cell techno can take him if techno somehow dies dream brings him back could be out in 2 weeks havent been visited for 2 weeks nothing to lose dream has to break obsidian techno wants to end stream techno came up with idea so dream has to do it dream starts bell ringing for cheerng him on techno sounds happy that dream is doing it voices are mentioned - theyre laughing techno has perfect track of time techno is gonna annoy dream the entire time techno is a lookout there are only 4 books we only see the 4th name floof interrupts momentarily tommy killed a cat because dream liked it 300 dogs in the cell joke

channel member bell dream regrets his life again techo's plan? bell was a better investment dream has 10 bells in e chest techno doesnt techno wanted to go for more so techno could ring bell again

end of stream

[drowning-rats-in-fandoms]

Y/N is an intelligence officer on Ren's ship and he always goes to her before missions

When she first gets hired, she always has the mission information sent to him as early as possible

During the debriefing missions, she has the balls to corrent and add information that aas left out or wrong

It's almost always directed to Hux

Kylo enjoys watching someone else irritate Hux by doing their job

When the missions became more sporadic and information was being brought in left and right, Y/N moved her living quarters closer to Kylo's and Hux's living quarters so when she needs to present the information, she goes to them any hour of the day

Hux hates it, wishing to fire her. He know how important she is to the First Order, so he can't

Kylo doesn't care what time she delivers information. Y/N isnt like the guards that stumble over their words and take for ever to relay information

Y/N shows up (after sometime she is given Kylo's code of access to his quarters), hands him her data pad, and leaves.

Hux get an older model of data pads, Kylo gets her own. Her information is all stored on those two devices

Kylo always returns her pad to the table in her quarters. Hux never seeks Y/N out to give it back.

One mission in particular was stressful

On both their ends

Y/N has a translator implanted in her brain to allow her to read and decipher words

During the mission debrief, Hux suggested that Y/N should go along since she mentioned one(1) time that she is one of the only people able to decipher those words

Kylo immediately rejected, having grown fold of his coworker, not romantically of course

"Commander Ren, General Hux is correct. I should go on the mission."

"You have no field training, you'll hold us back. We can just send you video of the dialect." He thought he had a point

"I remember you forgetting to ask what my previous job was commander, may I fill you in?" She snaps right back, General Hux smirking that she is now attacking Ren instead of him.

"Please, enlighten me." Kylo leaned back in his seat, arms crossed. She was nothing more than a brain.

Y/N untucked her uniform to show a gnarly scar lacerating her entire side.

"That was my last bounty hunting job I did with a mandalorian. Saved his skin and his ship. Left me for dead. General Hux has been watching me for a while to recruit me, saw his chance." Y/N would never credit Hex with saving her life, even though they both knew it.

"I know my way around any weapon you give me. I'll do my job and stay out of your way." She sits down in her seat, readjusting her clothes.

Kylo sits there for a moment, empathetic for her, his mask not showing it.

"Report at the hanger at 0600 tomorrow. Stop by the arsenal to pick a weapon." Kylo then leaves in a rush, the meeting quickly adjourned

He

Never

Left

Her

Side

The crypt was filled with strange coffins, some decorated, some not.

Cobwebs and rodents fill the place, Commander Ren taking lead and eliminating the distractions.

Any rune Y/N would see, she would decipher, hoping to point her commander in the correct direction.

Once they get to the end of the tunnel, a bare wall is presented to them.

Kylo ignited is Saber and was about to destroy the wall when Y/N shouted for him to stop.

The urgency in his voice made him hesitate, the hand on his arm guiding the saber close to the made him stop. He allowed her to hover his saber closer to the wall, her hand warm though his field clothes.

Then he saw it.

The heirogliphs showed faintly though the light of the Kyber crystal, the regular lights not doing anthing.

"Lights off. Now." The 4 storm troopers accompanying them complied, turning the hallway dark except for the glowing red saber.

The wall completely illuminated with glyphs, making Y/N gasp.

"What is it?" Kylo asked, his mask trained on her astonished face

"You found it. What your looking for is on the other side. I just need to find a way in." Her voice is low, focused. Kylo saw that she was in her environment, adrenaline rushing through her veins allowed for a quicker deciphering.

Her hands voided the saber in weird movement along the wall, allowing for her to read.

Kylo noticed everything about her, the way she bit her cheek when her breathing picked up, her eyes flickering to him fir a moment before continuing to read. Her grip on his forearm tightens as she holds her breath, hovering over the last hieroglyph.

Y/N let's go of Kylo's arm and takes a step back, creating professional spacing.

"In short, you actually have to stable the wall. In long, you can only stab it in one spot. Only you can see the spot using the force. Dont ask me how, it never said." Y/N steps back with the troopers, allowing Kylo to do his thing.

He nods his head to her, she nods back, her face blank.

Kylo turns to the wall, closes his eye, feeling for the weak spot. He grows frustrated when he cant find it, letting out a huff.

"What do you feel." You.

"There is no weakness in the wall." His voice is strained though the modulator, trying to not last out.

"Maybe the wall is all weak and you need to look for the strong spot. Breaking that should weaken the hold on the weak spots, allowing the wall to crumble." She sounded so close to him, like it was only them.

Kylo focuses on the calm in her tone of voice, allowing him to concentrate on his objective.

Not even seconds later, he finds it, the spot is in the direct center of the wall.

"The keystone." He whispers, the modulator garbling the word.

He reposition his last connection to his grandfather, the helmet being completely destroyed by Supreme Leader Snoke. Kylo drives the blade through the spot, the wall immediately shaking.

Two strong hands grab his robes and pull him out of the stones impact, the small group watching the wall shift and change.

Larger pieces of rock fall as the smaller ones swirl in a circle, assembling themselves in the doorway behind the wall.

The door opens to reveal a corpse cradling a book to its chest.

Kylo immediately rips the book from the corpse's grasp before Y/N could stop him.

"Is that what you need?" Chills run down her spine as the entire crypt turns silent.

Too silent.

"Yes." He turns back to her, handing the text to Y/N, allowing her to out it in her book bag.

Before the mission he pulled her aside. Her job is to translate and to protect the text. His job was to get them in and get them out. They agreed.

Y/N facial expression and the sense of dread Kylo could read on her told him to move quickly.

"Stay behind me. Make sure she doesnt get hit." He points to the respectful groups before charging off into the darkness.

Y/N asks the trooper to turn their lights back on to help them see their way back.

Not everyone has the force to guide them.

Everyone did their jobs, quickly and quietly. The six moved through the crypt, moving up from the deep dungeons.

Once they get to the first open area, they were ambushed. Reanimated skeletons, strange tan creatures, and those damn rats attacked the group.

Y/N drew her sword, charging it. She stayed relatively near the middle of the room, not seating out a fight.

Kylo Ren sliced and diced through the enemies, keeping an eyes on Y/N. The troopers shot down the rats with surprising accuracy. Kylo took care of everything else.

Until two yellow monster slipped from the main group and attacked Y/N from infront and behind.

Kylo quickly eliminated the rest of his threats and watched in awe as Y/N gracefully finished the fight.

Her kicked the one infront of her, throwing him on his back. She quickly pivots, her sword cutting up through the stomach, and down across its head. Before the second monster can register what happened, Y/N turned again, finishing off the first monster with a quick decapitation.

She quickly disarms her sword, reattached it to her back, and looked at the other 5 people in her group.

"They said that more are on their way. We need to leave. Now." It took Kylo a sweet second to put his ass in gear and steer his group out of the crypt, not meeting any more strange creatures.

Once in hyperspace, Y/N stands behind Kylo's chair, watching the stars.

"How did you hear them communicate? None of them spoke." Kylo was watching her through the reflection of the window, further respect for his colleague bloomed in his mind.

"The rats were actually in charge. The yellow creatures, called voulnders, were allowed to live in and around the crypts. Their exchange was that the Voulnders were to reanimate the corpses with their magic when their temple was under attack."

"They said all of that?" Kylo turned in his seat, Y/N already standing far enough away to not get hit.

"The wall that you hit showed the pact that those two creatures made. It also showed how to get in. Only a might warrior could." There was a pause before Y/N spoke again.

"Don't let that go to your head." She then walked out of the room.

Over the years, the two grew closer.

Sparring, talking, planning missions. Everything platonic.

When Kylo cant sleep because of the nightmares caused by Snoke, he'd go into Y/N's room, falling alseep on her couch, in view of her bed.

"If you like my couch so much, why not move it to your room." Y/N asks one morning, handing Kylo his caf.

"It's not the couch that puts me to sleep." His voice is low, eyes dropping to the ground.

Y/N hand cups his chin, lifting his eyes to meet hers. Her gentile smile puts him at ease.

Y/N remembers the first time she saw him without the mask.

It was a few nights in after relentless nightmares, the first time Kylo slept in Y/N's room.

He was half asleep, running on caf and a few minutes of sleep. Everyone on the ship could sense his worsening mood, assuming that it was from the last failed mission.

It was a repercussion of it, Snoke filling everyone involved in the mission with thoughts of dread.

Y/N hid it suprising well when on the command deck, doing her job.

But now, in the middle of the night, she knew she looked like shit.

When her commander knocked on her door, she rolled out of bed, her hair in a loose braid, her body clad in a pair of over sized black training shots and shirt.

Her commander was dressed similarly. She recognized the drained look in his eyes from her own.

She stepped aside to let him in her space, her eyes never leaving the constipation of beauty marks on his face.

Y/N shut off her night, resetting their automatic switch.

She grabs Kylo's bare arm and leads him to bed. She lies on her back, and she pulls him into her, his head resting on her stomach.

Kylo didnt right against her, his mind not raising any alarms.

Once her hands started to play with his hair, Kylo was out.

Y/N stayed awake a little longer, enjoying how soft and smooth her Commander's hair is. She falls asleep, her hands still tangled in his hair.

She woke up first at the rising of the dim lights, she took her time to wake up, enjoying the presence of another body against hers.

Kylo's breathing was still even as she replaced her body with her pillow.

Y/N went to her closet, pulled out her repaired bounty hunting armour, the silver beskar reminding her of painful memories of her old partner.

She changes quickly, keeping an eye on the commander in her bed.

"where are you going?" His voice asks, not removing his head from your pillow.

"To fix our problem."

"Snoke doesnt respond well to asking nicely."

"Oh, that's not why in going to Snoke. Go back to sleep if you can Commander. You need it." He seemed to get only a few hours of sleep last night.

Y/N straps the rest of her weapons to her body, her rifle sliding easily over her back. Her viroblade in the holster at her waist.

She tucks the bucket in her arm, looking at Kylo one last time before going on her first line mission during her First Order Career.

It wont be her last.

It only took her two days, the bounty hunter returning to Snoke with a head and the correct location of the cargo.

"How do you know its correct?" Snoke leans in his chair, observing the cleanly severed head at his feet.

"This tracker." Her voice is modulated, she throws the red chip to her Supreme Leader.

Snoke catches it, hums in approval.

"You have a new job. We have a suitable replacement for you."

Commander Y/N Y/L/N, leader of the bounties hunters and scouts of the first order.

The nightmares stopped

Missions became more successful

Kylo still couldn't sleep without being in the presence of Y/N. Her calm attitude put him at ease enough to fall asleep.

[tk-productions]

Mystic Sisters- Ch.18 On the Run

Materlist🌙🌹

Hikari's Pov

I sat next to Yua on the train headed towards Yokohama. We left the church early this morning. Neither one of us knew where we were going. We decided to go somewhere so we can figure out what to do. We just had to be away from our parents. That night after everything that happened Yua still tried to reason with Dad.

"Dad" Yua pleaded, grabbing his shirt sleeve. "I just want you to listen to me for once. There's weird things happening to Hikari and I-."

'Go to bed. I'm too tired to deal with this." He deadpanned, snatching his shirt from Yua's grip. There was no emotion on his face and no sincerity in his voice.  I watched him walk past her up to his bedroom.

"Too tired to care about your kids huh? It's like you don't want us here." Yua whispered.

"It'd be easier wouldn't it?" He snapped from the top of the stairs. Maybe things would be easier if we didn't adopt you two. You were suspicious about living her since day one. If it wasn't for you mom I would have given you back."

I shook Yua, waking her up from her slumber. She opened her eyes and yawned. The train stopped and we quickly got off the train. We found a small hotel nearby that was next to a convenience store. We stopped there first to stock up on food and water. Getting back to our room I plopped down on the bed. I took my phone out and stared at the wallpaper. There were no new messages or missed

"No calls or texts?" Yua asked, laying down next to me. I shook my head tossing my phone beside me.

"We left yesterday and our so-called parents don't even care. I would say I'm shocked but I'm really not."

Yua and I ate breakfast that consisted of juice and pancakes. After we ate I took a shower. I took off my jacket and shivered because of how cold the room was. I pulled off my beanie and tossed it in the pile of my clothes on the bathroom floor. Something about it felt off. I quickly turned back and picked the beanie up. This wasn't mine. It was Akio's. I guess when I was packing I grabbed his hat and not mine. I shook my head, placing Akio's beanie on the bathroom counter. Yua isnt gonna let me hear the end of this is she?  When I came out of the shower Yua was under the blankets snoring loudly. There was a chair by the window so I decided to sit there and read for awhile. Well attempt to read over my sister's snoring. The sky was gray and cloudy. It looked like it could rain or maybe even snow. A few minutes later it started to rain. I watched the rain fall down and leave droplets on the window. I ran my fingers over the cold glass turning the water into frozen ice. Placing my palm on the window it started to heat up and immediately melt. The window turned hot making me move my hand back. What don't tell me I have fire powers now? The room was cold so I grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped myself in it. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

Yua's pov

I sat at the edge of the lake watching the ducks take a late night swim. The moonlight beamed down on the water beautifully.

"Yua you're gonna freeze" Haru said from behind me, making me jump. He wrapped his jacket around me and sat beside me. He was still dressed in his training gear meaning he must have just gotten back.

"What are you doing out here anyways? It's late."

"Feeding the ducks."  I told him handing him the bag of bread crumbs. He tossed a hand full and the ducks gathered around. It was silent between us but it was a comfortable silence. The only sound came from the ducks happily eating.

"Still thinking about what your mom said?" Haru finally said. I nodded bringing my knees to my chest.

"It's a lot of responsibility. Taking care of my sister and one day taking over the kingdom. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

"Well I know once you fully turn you'll be ready. I can already see it when we train?

"Yeah?" I questioned turning to look at him. He nodded. "Your parent's see it too. You've already learned so much. Don't stress about it. When it's time you'll do fine. Plus you have Hikari and I." He smiled.

"Yeah but you're the only one that Will remember any of this" I laughed. "Even when I do see you again I won't know who you are."

"You'll remember one day too. Once you get your memories back you'll remember everything. Including this moment now.  that part was true. One day we'll all be able to come back to the castle. There won't be people coming after Hikari and I. Well if they do we'll be ready for them.

I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the window. It was pouring rain. Checking the time on my phone it was 4:52pm. I closed my eyes trying to process the dream I just had.

"Hikari?" I called out. She didn't respond so I sat up and noticed she wasn't in bed with me. I saw her sleep in the chair with the blanket falling off. I picked the blanket off the floor and wrapped her in it. She stirred a little in her sleep mumbling something.

"Hm?" I asked.

"Akio..." she mumbled again.

"So first you steal his hat and now you're having dreams about him" I smirked.

I laid back in the bed starving up at the ceiling. This dream was just like the last one. This time everything was more clear. Maybe what I was seeing was a memory. Everything about it seemed real. Plus Haru and I talked about me not being able to remember. What wouldn't I remember? That night? Or was there more? The last time I tried to talk to Haru about it he got defensive. Maybe that's why. He mentioned that I would start to remember. Did he not want me to? I knew then but now I know he's not telling me something. It would make sense with the way he's been acting lately.

"I knew he was lying."

"Who?" Hikari asked. I opened my eyes and she was standing over me. I grabbed the pillow next to me hitting her in the head with it.

"Why are you watching me sleep?"

"Why'd you hit me?" She pouted.

"Why are you having dreams about Akio?" I shot back.

"What?"

I cocked my head to the side grinning at her, she rolled her eyes and picked up the pillow hitting me with it. After hitting me she sat down across from me. I sat up while Hikari stared at me.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm hungry" I signed, grabbing my phone. "You're always hungry

"Sushi"? She nodded smiling happily.

Riyoshi Pov

"Where the hell are they?!" Haru growled giving Akio and I a death glare. He tried his best to be intimidating but he wasn't. Honestly I don't know what Yua sees in this guy.

"We told you we don't have them.'' I said, stepping closer.

"I don't believe you. Now tell me or get your ass beat."

I chuckled and looked back at Akio. "Do you hear this guy."

"Yea he's pretty delusional and persistent." The younger one said in an annoyed tone.

"Aye! I'm right here and I can hear you." Haru walked up to me grabbing my collar. "Tell me where they are." he demanded.

"So you're like the bodyguard? You suck man, Like legit who trained you?"

I must have pissed him off as his face scrunched up and he launched me as far as he could but his throw had no aggression whatsoever. I landed on my two feet easily. "Now you pissed me off."

"Yo Riyoshi we are really wasting our time on this dude. I kicked his ass like a week and a half ago so imagine what you could do."

I sighed in irritation. "Don't ruin this man I need to let off a little steam anyway." Akio put his hands up and backed up as if I needed more space.

"Ahh lil tough guy huh. Your mommy teach you that?" Haru taunted.

"What are you 11." I said as I pulled at least 5 daggers out of my weapons belt "Any Last words buddy?"

"Yea. I'm not your buddy" Haru spat.

"That attitude makes me wanna shoot you instead but I have no wooden bullets for you today."I sucked my teeth mad at myself. "Too bad you'll die slower I guess." I shrugged then launched all 5 daggers at him.  He dodged a couple of them but since I'm savage I threw a few extra that he didn't see. Hitting him in both legs,his Right ankle, his chest and face.

These hits weren't fatal but he won't realize that till later. I ran up and kicked the dagged further into his chest and watched him fall to the ground groaning in pain and eventually passing out. "Damn that was quick"

"He might get back up, he had more fight in him when I was up against him."

"You didn't launch 5 daggers into his pressure points though. And the one in his face will definitely leave a scar.

"Did that one for fun."

"You really scare me sometimes man." Akio said with a straight face "he's not dead tho. I thought you were gonna kill him."

"Nah I really wanna shoot him so he'll have to wait till I finish carving bullets for that."

"Why do you wanna use weapons so bad?"

"Because I cant use them on Levi and I really wanna shoot him."

"Makes sense." Akio nodded in understanding and turned his attention to the knocked out vampire.

"That is just sad. Imagine being that weak Amelia would have our head for a failure this bad."

"You're thinking about Amelia, I'm thinking about our big boss, imagine that."

"You're right. That's worse."

"Let's go find those girls. It's about time we get your favorite hat back." I told him in a stern voice.

"Why is your anger suddenly directed at me?"

"No reason. But if you fuck this up just remember." I motioned my arms as if they were around his neck. "Remember this?"

Akio gulped "That's not right."

I tapped him on his shoulder. "You make the final decision so don't be scared yet." before walking away like I didn't just threaten to put him in a death hold while he stared at me in disbelief.

[agl03]

Hey! Would u mind posting the episode titles up again I’ve been trying to find them now that a teaser has been released also anymore thoughts on them?

Hi Anon!

Here are the ones we have:  And I have updated a few with my thoughts on the episodes after seeing the promo.  I was pleased to find my original takes in many cases have continued to hold.  I think the promo covered up to the first half of the season so 6ish.

1. Missing Pieces

Got LOTS of confirmations here!  Teams were indeed split as I thought.  

The Team.

Mack, May, Elena, and Deke on Earth

Daisy, Jemma, Piper and Davis Team Fitz Rescue

Fitz and Enoch Fitznapped

Darth Coulson on Earth

Information:  This will go to whatever the baddies plan is, May’s ‘side mission’, and the search for Fitz.  I feel like they will be super close but not quite there yet.  

Physical items:  AKA the McGuffin.  

5. The Other ????

This title is one that everyone seems to see differently so it makes it even harder to even speculate as to what is going on.  

6. Inescapable

The midpoint of the season so I’m guessing all sorts of stuff goes down.

Based on the fact Iain only has doubles early in the Season in 6 I think the ATBT Jemma pushing Fitz through the ‘wall’ happens here.

With Jemma laying on the floor of that big white room I feel like she at the very least gets captured and there is some sort of Mad Science thing that will end with her being trapped in her own mind somehow.

I think ATBT Jemma is actually attacking Fitz trying to get her out as her trauma’s and fears of losing him again all come to a powerful head.

Whatever it is is going to be difficult to stop and/or unable to get out of or away from.  Maybe there has been a trap sprung.

Definition:  unable to be avoided or denied

Like Fitzsimmons love   

7. Tologa or Toldja…depending on the screenshot you look at and how good your eyes are.

Since its still not clear what the title is yet I’m leaning towards this is going to be the name of a location.  Either where someone is trying to get, that giant Space ship, or a place on earth.  

8. Collison Course

Definition:   a course (as of moving bodies or antithetical philosophies) that will result in collision or conflict if continued unaltered

Where all the elements of the season start to come together and quite possibly a literal crash.  Even more, it’s the kind of thing where us the audience might be able to see it coming.

This could also be a point where some of the characters have to make a choice that will have some major consequences.  Something along the things of who are they going to follow, believe, or react to a certain situation.  

This also looks to be prime time for the Space Team to make an epic return home and come face to face with Darth Coulson for the first time.

9. The Baker

Feel like this is a code for something and likely going to reveal the Big Bad of the Season.  Full spec is HERE.

10. Leap

Defined as a quick change or movement.  

We know from BTS goodies that there is ONE HECK of a scene in this episode that has most of the cast involved in it.  My money is on something like Option Two with the annual base attack.    

A Leap of Faith also came to mind for me, especially if there is someone in the mix the team isn’t sure they can trust…which they have pretty much every season.

11. From The Ashes

I think renewal, rebirth, and overcoming a difficult situation stronger than before.

Things don’t go well in 10 and the team has to pick themselves up, likely after some sort of loss, and continue to fight as the Baddie kicks it into high gear.  

Something they thought was gone comes back.

There could be some sort of transformation for one of the characters…either good or bad.  

12.  The Sign

an object, quality, or event whose presence or occurrence indicates the probable presence or occurrence of something else.

a gesture or action used to convey information or instructions.

gestures to convey information or instructions.

write one’s name on (a letter, card, or similar item) to identify oneself as the writer or sender.

As the penultimate episode its the tipping point of everything running up to the end.

13.  New Life

This was the first one I got asks on and the spec is HERE.

If I am right and Darth Coulson is “Our” Coulson resurrected without his memories then New Life could speak to him getting his memories back.

[gg-astrology]

Helloooo :) I don't know if it is too late but, what do you think of cap sun taurus moon? :o

HAH WE HAVE THE SAME PLACEMENTS!!!! 💕 ITS CALL OUT TIME!! 💕💕

(and no ure not too late don’t worry 💕 thank u for dropping by anyways!!)

[Below Cut: Capricorn Sun - Taurus Moon 🍃]

We’re a lot more earthier than our usual earthy counterparts, like if anything if we’re not surrounded by atleast 5 trees we Will Die

It gets especially hard living in an urban city because….we might not be accessible to parks all the time.

Although we might like leafy greens and fauna, some of us may have a hard time motivating ourselves to keeping them alive/grow our own garden even when we like the ~aesthetic~

Second most self-praise thing is our voice. With the combination of Capricorn/Taurus you might realize that we tend to have influential voices when speaking to others (others see reasons/listens to us– can be kind of like the ‘therapist’ in groups of friends because they tend to give solid advice and tries to make it practical for others)

It’s a persuasive ability, where we give other people nudges towards the right direction usually through a socratic dialogue (like asking them questions and letting them find the answer themselves)

Because Taurus is ruled by Venus, we appeal to the emphathy/putting ourselves in other people’s shoes (social relationships) to show others how to view things differently

There’a terrible stubborn streak amongst us, where we feel like we constantly need time to ‘digest’ experiences in order to utilize them fully.

Our time works differently than others, 2 days weekend isn’t enough to do that. And once things start picking up we switch gears from ‘oh no I don’t have time to absorb’ into ‘fuck I gotta find my pattern’ in order to survive

Always in survival mode, the bare minimum. Keep a straight-focused outlook on things so we could concentrate on it instead (while in the moment)

Switches between moments of independency (and cherishing it) and wanting support/to be surrounded by others and help them (in the domestic life/sphere).

If your bed and your room is your friend. This is your ‘safe space’ and you can never work here. You’ll have delegated ‘spaces’ for working/productivity. Thus it becomes a conditioned ‘motive/pattern’ you set for yourself.

You can try to be soft an gentle, but you will Realize that you are a very straight-forward and blunt person. We all look constipated when we try to phrase something in a different way, often we don’t come up with a gentler phrase so we just– drag it out, cautiously to see if the other person is receptive to it or not.

Surprisingly we say ‘sorry’ quite often bc we Know other people might put it gentler than us but we don’t know how to Do It

AH most important thing— quiet doesn’t mean shy. Although we can tend to be shy early on in our childhood (*if it comes to that). Quiet is just comfortable, like ‘I don’t have to say stuff if I don’t have anything to say’ when you’re comfortable with urself/ur company y know

Most people might think we’re being ‘unnaturally quiet’ if you have an active Mercury/Venus that says otherwise— but there are moments where you’re just— chilling, and people are concerned even when you’re just ‘absorbing’ the view

When you’re stress, it shows. When you’re really anxiety ridden and nervous, others can tell it in your oppressive silence. Your face blanks out, and that normally doesn’t happen. Your eyes vacant, and your close friend can pick that up pretty quickly.

Although you like to touch and be touched, you can also be demanding about it. Like ‘pet my hair’ ‘squeeze me tight’ or something specific like ‘hold onto my rib-cage/sides’ — it’s weird I know. But it’s like, if you want something you ask for it or you go get it. 

Emotions are— hard. Because you tend to hide your own pains/bury them a lot. You’re not even aware that you feel more than what you feel in the moment. Capricorn suppresses and Taurus redirects. So you’re not even sure where your emotions go when in hiding.

Sometimes you can be in the shower and think ‘have i ever felt jealous?? envious of people???’ and it takes a little more time and retrospection to get familiar with emotions

Accepting ‘negative’ emotions and ‘ugly’ behaviors in yourself is extremely hard to do. This is because you pride yourself in being ‘kind’ to others. Thus you may be much stricter on yourself than you are with anyone else.

Doesn’t mean you don’t get strict with the people around you, you do. Especially when they’re doing detrimental things to themselves. You’re much better at dealing with them than your own problems though.

Sometimes your retrospection eats away at your thoughts at night, things to do, functions to execute, where are you now? What have you done? Are you going to be happy in say 5 years? What do you have for your ambitions?

You can be protective of people around you, especially after you see them cry or in pain. Your protective instinct kicks in really strongly, and you may have trouble letting them have autonomy without atleast giving them a hard look and saying shit like ‘ok, if that’s what you think/makes you happy’. 

With your best friends, you may used to have the idea that they’re yours. 

Your best friends. Your people. Especially in early childhood, having to ‘open yourself up’ and your friendship up to accepting new people throws you into an internal tantrum.

Still now, you might find that you better with one-on-one approaches to ‘getting close/to know people’ than large group settings. If you’re truly going to have a personal opinion on someone, you have to see them outside the context of a barrier– your mutual friends.

Your own chemistry with other people (one-on-one) matters a lot, because it lets you know how you’re doing. Who you are, what your flaws are and whether you have a different ‘side’ to you that comes out when you’re with them as well.

The thing about you is– you’re inherently honest. To the point where you can’t hide it or stifle it, even if you try your body/mind will scream at you for even attempting to do so. You’re a slave to your own honesty, but it’s also your advantage and your disadvantage.

You have immense capabilities to be understanding to others, and to help others who trust you because of this honesty. 

And because you hold yourself valuable for your integrity to people (heart-to-heart, one-on-one) you don’t ever let yourself consciously try to bring them down or let them have a reason to doubt you otherwise.

Even thinking about how people could misinterpret your actions as something with ulterior motive (threaten to discredit your integrity) you take pre-cautions to make sure everyone is on the same page, everyone understands where it’s coming from.

You don’t leave a stone unturned when you do something, you want to do your best but that also requires preparation works. Ground works, for you to focus on just diving into it later. You don’t deter from it at all, and meticulously prepare the ‘grounds’ for yourself every time.

Your humbleness comes from your core. But since you’re so focused on working/preparing and your side of the story all the time. You have a harder time ‘switching’ gears to being on the receiving end of things.

You’d have learnt earlier on in your life that you can usually have an ‘automated’ response to things/circumstances that requires responses. But you don’t ever want to appear insincere or disingenuine so you try your best to put yourself 100% in giving people sincerity at all times.

You’ll learn– that this tends to wear you out. And you require time away from people in your own space. You might like to bury yourself under 10 blankets, give yourself a good scrub in the bathroom or get tucked away in a corner doing your own thing. Personal comfort is rejuvenating to you, but you can let it get too far and make a bad habit of not going out because of it too.

You’re a homebody but you may pride yourself in the opposite. You bring attention and light to when you go out, what you did with people, what you saw today. Watch that you aren’t doing this to subconsciously ‘persuade’ yourself that you deserve to relax at home because you’ve ‘earned it’ (going out becomes an ‘achievement’, which in itself isn’t terrible but you tend to let yourself get comfortable/have a pattern that may be harder to break out of– and that generally leads to a sense of dread for you later on when you want to ‘switch gears’ to something else)

You’re a creature of habit, so try to make a journal or ‘check list’ for things whenever it appears (like ‘you have a meeting at 3pm, this has to get done by thursday, do groceries on this specific day because otherwise you won’t have time – use it like you have a secretary). 

Whenever you need to check, you have the journal to remind you of ‘obligations’ you have to work through.

If you don’t, you can let your days get past you or forget about things you have to do.   

Grocery shopping, especially when you have time to journey alone (and not talk to anyone)– is less of a chore and more like a place where you can enjoy self-care without feeling unproductive about yourself.

If you ever feel like you’re having a bad day, go grocery shopping. Splurge on some meats and make yourself a steak. If you’re a vegetarian, try looking for new things to try in these moment of vulnerabilities.

Also, don’t be afraid to buy dolls. Especially the big ones that are like 9′ tall and towers over you. You’re going to enjoy having a new seating space for yourself. Lie on it’s stomach, play on your laptop. 

You’ll do better with a cuddle buddy who doesn’t have their own needs (inanimate) when your partner/friends are less free to spend time with you. 

Don’t be afraid to initiate physical contact, if you want someone to kiss your checks. Ask to kiss theirs. Show them– through demonstration and response – how to physically care for you the way you might want/need it to.

You can be disgustingly cute with people even when you’re not in a romantic relationship with them, mostly because you think everyone deserves to feel loved even without it being romantic. Everyone deserves to feel cared for, adored and not less than a romantic partner.

There’s no shame in craving intimacy, from friends or from lovers. You know it’s different because your ‘shades’ with romantic partners are a lot more intense/directed. But that doesn’t mean you put your love for your friends second to your lovers.

Let yourself get giggly and bubbly, feel loved and adored. Let yourself open up about past experiences, situations you need help with. Let yourself admit to your friends/people around you how you feel, so that they can support you when you can’t support yourself.

That’s all I have for now 💕 This one is quite long mostly because I was thinking about it too much 💕 I hope it’s applicable to you ;; 💕💕    

[isisisak]

ok ok ok i mostly never come around to do these but i love it every time im tagged in one so ill do it real quick <3 (ill answer super quick so i dont have time to over think it so pls know this isnt thought through)

nickname(s): well isi IS a nickname but maybe also isi pisi 

zodiac sign: capricorn 

height: 5′5 

last movie I saw: eurotrip last night with my mom (a true classic) 

last thing I googled: what my height is in feet and inches

favourite musician: hmmmmmmmm ever changing but on top of my head? dan reynolds

song stuck in my head: since im going to the panic! at the disco concert on wednesday im currently listening to the songs that are probably gonna be played on a loop (to lose my voice 100%) so rn its fuck a silver lining by them 

other blogs: i dont have any other blog ... i do have killer urls saved tho so ... does that count? 

following: 280

followers: 2586

do I get asks: i do! i get some that are long rants (looking at you viv), some anons that come back and im having on going convos with (sa <3) and a bunch of prompts! and listen!! i have ..........way too many of those and havent come around to write them yet but i love each and every one i appreciate them sm bc they feel like validation bc woah ppl actually not only tolerate my writing but want it??? WILD!!! (and i promise i will wirte them... might take me another 60 years tho) 

amount of sleep: ................... well...... mostly too little even tho i LOVE sleep - if i can sleep in im good but i just cant ... go to bed early i want to fall asleep bc im tired you know? (im always tired tho so what am i even saying here) 

lucky numbers: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh i dont have one 

what I’m wearing: ...... a shirt and granny panties (im in night gear already ok) 

dream job: did you watch sex education? what his mom does (sex therapist with a private practice)

dream trip: tbh just ... i love city trips where you just pamper yourself. eat a lot, drink a lot, shop a lot .... so tbh p much every where where i can do that (i prefer to do it in oslo tho)

favourite food: this is so hard man phew ... well tbh its everything with rosemary on it ... foccacia is GREAT .. but also a nice filet steak or duck with rosemary potaoes? yeah 

instruments played: hah well i was recently told by my sister i leanred to play the flute but i think thats a scam i cant remember that AT ALL (probs was so horrible that i repressed it) annnnd i learned to play the piano (and with that i can play this song and nothing more - also just the one hand woah show of @ the person in the video) 

languages: german, english, norwegian / not fluent but surviving and knowing the basics of: french 

favourite songs: NO ‘tis too hardddd hmmm ok so say love by james tw, sam smith - scars, not the only one, say it first (a lot of his songs tbh) and woah a TON more but im blanking on them rn

random fact: uuuuhm... i mean i like to hold the blow dryer under my blanket or sometimes just have it running in the back round bc it relaxes me? is that still random or already weird? 

aesthetic: this breaks my brain i dont KNOW soft and fluffy i guess? 

so im going to tag @soyellowcurtainsthen @thelastlesbean @sassytrouble-maker @solo-silenzio no pressure tho my dudes <3 

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 4: “Oh the classic dilemma of Survivor.” - Leanne

Ryan

I'm going to be honest, I'm not really gonna miss Tyler. I feel less bad about kicking him out now that I know he's played before. He was kinda cocky and reclusive- that's not the vibe we need in our tribe.

Najwah

I'm actually upset and really annoyed that no one else is willing to move their times so I can play too? And no one even acknowledged my message lol I started this game under the impression that people from all over the world would participate but instead I'm in a group with a bunch of Americans and I have to adjust my times EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. It is a lot. I feel like quitting. I mean what's the point? I've been struggling with depression for such a long time, it's been amplified by this Lockdown and being part of something, this whole make believe game brought me some kind of joy. Some light. However, being blatantly over looked and left out because its convenient for everyone else kinda sucks. I'm overlooked and left out of everything in real life too. I don't think this game is good for my mental health actually. I feel worthless and like shit and the person I thought had my back the most, Leanne, seems to be the most annoyed with me. She isnt even replying to me in our one on one chat. Guess she got everything she wanted out of me hey? I don't know whether any of this extra stress coupled with sleepless nights and zero concentration when doing my work is worth it?

Zack M

here i come again, carrying the tribe on my back like i always do. (dolly parton reference to "here you come again" ... available on spotify for those who don't know) this is the second time in a row that i stepped up for the team while everyone else was silent. like it's cool. i don't mind doing it for them as long as we win. it's not fair for me to be labeled as a threat because i do my best .... and that best happens to be sometimes better. idk. i'm just here to play. i don't feel the same drive from my teammates. yes. that's it. i'm here to play to win. they just want to win. nothing is going to change for me. i'm going to do every challenge. i'm going to come with the big moves. i'm going to hurt some feelings along the way. but i need to stay in the game to be able to do that. i'm truly scared i'm going to be blindsided if we don't win. COUGH COUGH IM SCARED IM GOING TO BE BLINDSIDED IF WE DONT WIN AND I DONT HAVE AN IMMUNITY IDOL FROM THE WISHING TREE COUGH COUGH ..... i could really use a wish right now (wish right now).

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovDd3CLqYos

Leanne

Have ya heard the news? Our tribe finally won a challenge! This is great news, and not just for the obvious, game/numbers related reasons. The night results were announced my Skype didn’t go off all night. All, night. I think there was a block of at least 12 hours straight I wasn’t looking at it. There was that gaming voice in my head that now and then would urge, you know, you really ought to check in with Aimee and see what she’s up to. You know, you had a conversation with James the other day, you better try building that up. But honestly, these last few days have been so peaceful I just didn’t want to. It was too nice being off line LOL. Of course, there still remains the difficulty that I still don’t know where the target is going to land. I had a check in with the “trio”... Ben and Zach. It was “I don’t know” all around. One of them said that the first person who threw out a name would probably be made a target themselves. So no one will talk about that, seemingly, until we lose. Of course, my individual preferences haven’t changed. I’d still like to see either Cody or Sarah go. Leaning toward Sarah at the moment because she seems more feasible. She wasn’t at our last tribal, she hadn’t checked in for a little while, and when we were getting ready to do the challenge last night most of us thought she wouldn’t be around. I was really hoping she wouldn’t show so that I could make a stronger case for that. Precedent shows that lack of presence is the go-to way to get yourself voted out. And I really don’t know who she’s with, if anyone. I haven’t really talked to her. Maybe I’ll float that idea to people today. Instinct tells me that I should get in before the challenge results are announced, because afterward, if we lose, people will be scrambling, and it could land most anywhere. But if I’m too aggressive with this I could be the one throwing names out there and it could backfire. Oh the classic dilemma of Survivor. In other news, Najwah and I have been working together on the idol hunt. She’s been talking to Cody, I’ve been talking to Zach, and so the question we are pondering is whether they’re giving us trustworthy information, both about the search and the game at large. I actually do believe that we’ve been completely upfront with each other and at this point I trust her as completely as anyone can trust in this game. She continues to be my very best ally and I hope we can keep working closely together as this goes on. It’s only hitting me now how hard it is to form impressions of the other tribe based on the info we have. I’ve been reviewing some of the tribal’s, there’s from yesterday and our last one, and the answers are canned enough and United enough that nothing is really said. Everyone in this cast knows we are here to play a social game, and that means not saying stupid things and trying not to make enemies, especially in these early stages. They look strong and unified. They had an easy vote and seem to like each other, which is very much to be expected. I can’t really gleam any subtext from what I saw. Odds are we are just as hard to read for them. We’ll just have to wait and see come merge time, or possibly swap time? At their tribal the question said there was “talk” of that as well. Here’s hoping I’m not the Johnny come lately to that discourse. But even if it is looming, not much to do about it till you get there. I don’t think that’s something you can necessarily pregame for. So there you have it. It’s been a refreshingly peaceful several days and let’s hope it continues. These results could go either way, and if it doesn’t go the way we want, well, then the game switches into the next gear. That would make me very worried for our numbers down the line, but more immediately we are probably all worried about our place at that point. I have no idea what will happen.

Ryan

I am not very happy by the fact that I will have no control in the fate of our tribe.I'm happy we voted Tyler out unanimously, he was someone we all, especially Pedro and I, agreed on very early. it's gonna be tough now moving forward, but I know who I don't want to vote out

Pedro A

So Today we have the challenge....Im scared if we go to tribal idk who will go

Alan B

Yes! I'm so glad we won - the next vote for our tribe is gonna be a tough one, i really hope making the only mistakes during this challenge doesnt come back to bite me! we won right how bad could it be...

Pedro A

WEEEE WONNNN....stream CLC, RED VELVET AND BLACKPINK...you know why?....cause we have the night offffff.....

Amy A

Another night off 🎉🎉🎉. I’m so ecstatic because there’s no name coming up for vote 2 yet so it could literally be anyone even though I think my alliances with people will carry me through. My alliance with Ryan and Pedro is still strong and I have secret alliances w Maddison, John, and Grae even though Grae’s is more shaky. Im going to go sleep with no worry in my mind at all. Maybe except for a tribe swap. Maola ROCKS and seeing us divided will break me 😭😭

Kalle N

I recently found out that John has been telling almost everyone that he trusts them 100% and not just me so I'm working on making a big move to get him out next time we go to tribal (even though I love him and he has been one of my closest allies this entire game). He's just too charming and close with everyone

Maddison

Hi confessional. Really hoping I didn’t just brand myself a threat during that challenge but I’m glad I could redeem myself from the telephone game. I’ve had new people want to work with me within the thirty minutes following, and I can’t tell yet how legitimate their inquiries are. But hey, that’s Survivor. 

Zack M

jesus christ. there is so much going on right now. we lost again. whomp whomp. but again, i like losing. it let's me know where everyone's head is at. i'll face the consequences later. i want to flush the idol out but no one seems to be with me. i think either aimee or leanne has it. i want to say aimee to leanne and najwah and leanne to aimee because i know they will tell each other, one of them will use it, and then cody sarah ben james and i vote najwah. bye idol. bye to one of their numbers. 2 against 5, there's nothing they can do. BUT NO. so then najwah reaches out to me and calls me the tribe leader. LOLOLOLOLOLOL. clap clap. she sees right though me BUT she is letting me stay? it really is such a bad game move for her. i feel so bad. so najwah started the "hunt alliance" with me cody and leanne. leanne threw out sarah's name so we are going to pretend to go with that. but now the target is leanne in hopes that we just flush the idol out by vote. i think this is dumb and is going to fuck us over but like maybe people are legit. i really have no idea. and now there's a group with everyone besides sarah. i feel so bad. sarah, you're not going anywhere so don't you even worry! i think my plan is the safest but like no one listens to the TRIBE LEADER.

Cody A

Full disclosure y’all, Im just going to preface this confession with the simple fact that I am UNWELL! I just ask that y’all bare with this confession!! It could be as bad as Nick Cannons (very brief) rap career.. on Sunday one of my close friends took her own life.. and It has been difficult to separate this game from real life. In the real game of survivor I’d be stuck in Fiji with no information from the outside world.. so i am trying to navigate this game and real life at the same time. That being said: this vote could be very simple or VERRRRRY complicated. The plan is for our group of 6 “JESS” to tell aimee, Leanne, and naj, that everyone is voting Sarah. 

THATS NOT HAPPENING!!!  SARAH (NOT LACINA) IS MY NUMBER 1 & I WILL PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS!!! Initially it seemed Zack was adamant about voting Naj our and not Leanne???? but I think I did a really great job of convincing him she is a huge threat! (Gotta save my girl Naj!) The real plan is for JESS  to put all of our votes on Leanne, who still has yet to have a conversation with me. I feel like I am in a great position but I do not want to get comfortable!  

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oz7uKVXHzI&feature=youtu.be

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH8nJmP6vhE&feature=youtu.be

Leanne

So we lost, again... just great. First there was nothing. Then the trio chat with Ben and Zach got together to exchange obligatory commiserations and giant shrugs. Then Najwah got in touch. Neither of us heard anything. She actually said because of this she just assumed it was her; I’ll get more into this in a bit. As of now she’s the one I trust The most, so I asked her how close she was to Sarah. Turns out, not very. She wanted to start a group chat with Zach and Cody, for the dual purpose of getting that plan together and for comparing info about the idol hunt. So we do that. After a few more rounds of circling the question of what do you think I said to the group that Sarah doesn’t seem to be available a lot or connecting with people. We agreed, and Zach suggested we get the rest of the tribe together, sans Sarah, in another chat to lock it in. This is after Zach and I said Ben would be in, and Cody said James would be in, and I don’t remember how but somehow Aimee was accounted for. The only other person left was James. My thinking, which both Zach and Cody seemed to share, was that it was better to risk James being close to Sarah than to get him upset by leaving him out.

Throughout the whole thing, Najwah seemed to have an abnormally high degree of caution and concern. She really wants to feel people out first before she does anything, which I don’t think is possible all the time. What if James is talking to Sarah? What if Sarah has an idol? What if the other four have an alliance? Not sure if it’s just me but she seemed to be doing a lot of what if’s, all valid ones but just a lot. She raised some other concern to me in a private chat and I answered her something along the lines of, it’s good to look before you leap but nothing is a sure thing and we have to take a few risks and be ok with not being certain. Well anyway, the larger group chat gets made. But as I’m making the conversation, the talk in the idol hunt chat, that is, the foursome that was just planning the Sarah vote, switches to what people are finding in the idol search. Now, this is a good thing. We did want to compare notes on that so we at least know where not to go. But not at that moment. Because when I started the larger group chat with James, Ben and Aimee, they of course wanted to know what the plan was. This left me all alone to ask them how they felt about Sarah as a target. I really could’ve used backup from Najwah, Zach and Cody in that moment, but instead they were talking about coins and advantages. Again, that’s a good thing, but in that moment, to the other three it almost looked like I unilaterally decided that. It looks like I got everybody together completely on my own and said, hey everybody, here’s what I decided we’re going to do.

Now, from my perspective Sarah was completely my idea, but that’s only my side of the story and I don’t know what other people were saying, and I have no wish to appear to be a dictator. Fortunately for me no one seemed to talk to Sarah at all. The consensus was her contact was brief and spotty and she was away too often to have built any meaningful connections anywhere. So it looks like it will work out and be easy again. Well, at least that’s what it looks like to me. We’ll see. The other good news is that we do have an idol task force. I found out the jacket is a 10% advantage in a challenge; good to know. Also the jewelry box was taken. No word on who took it, but that costs 20 coins. A theory I saw discussed was that someone shared coins or else Amy bequeathed at least five of them upon her exit. I don’t see that as being likely.

There’s got to be at least one more source of coins besides the two known to the group. Seems like we’ve been looking and coming up empty an awful lot. Not sure how candid the group members are being but at least we have an open line of communication about this. I was very annoyed because I felt abandoned by them to deal with the other three but that wasn’t done on purpose, and having this search party is a very good thing. At the very least we can help each other avoid disadvantages. Also, after we talked about Sarah, Aimee messaged me privately, saying she was leaning that way too, and we talked for a little bit. She seems to be talking in these little bursts to most everyone but at least it’s a relationship with potential to be built up further. So to me it looks like we’ve got an agreement and it’s Sarah and it was fairly easy. Of course, they could flip on me, and there’s an off a lot of time before tribal tomorrow, but like I just told Najwah, nothing is certain and we won’t always have every bit of the facts when we make a decision. All I can do is talk to folks, make a plan, and see what happens.

Aimee

Najwah just messaged me saying “So what do you guys want to do?” Except she just sent that message to me. Individually. “Guys,” plural, with an “s.” 👀👀👀👀

Zack M

im going to feel like an asshole tomorrow if i'm not blindsided and the plan goes the way we want it to. i've had a beautiful conversation with najwah tonight and i hope she doesn't think it was all for the game tomorrow when we vote her number 1 (leanne) out. najwah if you're reading this, i'm so sorry. this is a cruel game. i've loved every minute of getting to know you and our conversations! you're an awesome person and i hope you don't hold anything i may do to you against me. i would absolutely love to stay friends with her outside of this game. i just needed to put this in writing before i possibly hurt feelings tomorrow. again, she did call me the leader of the tribe. i would get rid of me if i was them so like anything is possible. 

Pedro A

today im going to talk with alan, kalle and olivia

Sarah

Well, the general consensus is to vote me out tonight at tribal because I haven’t been as available this week which is TRUE since I haven’t had service much on my vacation. Leanne threw my name out and everyone “agreed” I was an easy vote. I am trusting my alliance of 5 in Jess (Zack, Ben, Cody, James) and we are voting Leanne. I do have an idol BUT I definitely do not want to play it tonight. Right now, I trust my alliance but if things get suspicious or Cody tells me that Zack or Ben have flipped I will play my idol tonight. To be continued.... 

Ryan

That stupid idol hunt and the disadvantage is gonna get me kicked out I just know it. F#*k me.

Olivia A

The first vote went smoothly! Except for the fact that Tyler voted for me. My only worry is that he might’ve discussed/decided that vote with someone else. I’m not too worried though because I still feel really solid with the people I’m aligned with.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJd1QSw04ak&feature=youtu.be

John B

Thanks to Maddison we won another challenge and honestly bless because I really don’t know who would have gone next. I found out Ryan got a disadvantage for the tribe while idol hunting and I know, Olivia knows, and I’m probably gonna mention it to Grae and Kalle that Olivia told me. Right now I think if we had to go to tribal it might be Alan or Ryan but I honestly have no clue. Alan has the idol which is a good reason to boot them, and if I can get rid of Ryan that will break up the outsiders alliance. The challenge had me scream laughing because I think Kalle and I share a brain. Literally all of our clues were vines and we shared them at the exact same time. I would love to get an alliance going with Kalle Madison Grae and Olivia, I’m just worried Maddison and Grae will get weirded out to have an alliance outside of the core four without Pedro. If it happens I will have Kalle start it up so I don’t look sus. I am v curious to see what the other tribe does for the next vote seeing as the last one was unanimous. Honestly they kind of scare me.

James Hayden

It's two hours before tribal and neither Leanne or Naj have messaged the group to confirm that Sarah's going home. Either they are over confident in their plan and feel no need to confirm or they are planning something else. I'm praying to the Survivor ORG gods it's the first one!!

Cody A

I have bonded with Naj so much these last couple of days. I feel like a horrible person for leaving her out of the Leanne vote, but perhaps I’m the one being left out of a different plan 🤷🏼‍♂️ This game is exhausting 😂

Ben Kessler

Here's my worry: Survivor is not a numbers game, it is a people game. And the people on my tribe are crazy, but I like crazy. I work with crazy. Leanne, Naj, and Aimee are hopefully on the outs. Leanne will hopefully be eliminated tonight. I fear an expansion at 15 and if this happens I will need to throw my tribe under the bus in order to fit in...slowly, subtly, and methodically. The other tribe is not battle tested and neither are we, so my new objective is to ensure that I am under the radar while speaking enough to have my voice in any group. Leanne is most likely of those 3 have an idol, but I would not be surprised if somebody in my alliance had the idol as well. Either way, as long as I survive I am happy. Najwah The last time I wrote a confession, I was having a really horrible day. I was ready to quit but I think after some rest and a good venting session, my head is back in the game.

Leanne, Cody, Zack and I have solidified our alliance. I hope. I thought people would want to vote me out because I haven't been participating and I wouldn't be offended or surprised if they do. Tribal tonight is going to be interesting. Someone has an idol. Or SOMETHING. The jewelery box is missing. I love Cody but I don't know why I suspect he has something to do with it. I have a feeling in my gut. Don't know whether he is double crossing us. Also, Zack said he'd stay on the mountain and then he told us he bought a jacket in the market place. Is my alliance actually working to get me out and blindside me? Lmao I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL. we are all survivor superfans. We all know how the game works. Convincing everyone to vote Sarah was WAY too easy last night. Sarah also seems wayyyyy too comfortable. She doesn't bother talking to people much or she's playing a really excellent low key game. Either way, I commend her and whatever she's up to. I don't know what I think of Ben and James yet They're way too chilled and seem to go with the flow but I know they have their own flow. And they are working together on something. I hope tonight's vote is as easy as people think, even though my gut is screaming that we are in for some huge surprise. 

Sarah

Well, the general consensus is to vote me out tonight at tribal because I haven’t been as available this week which is TRUE since I haven’t had service much on my vacation. Leanne threw my name out and everyone “agreed” I was an easy vote. I am trusting my alliance of 5 in Jess (Zack, Ben, Cody, James) and we are voting Leanne. I do have an idol BUT I definitely do not want to play it tonight. Right now, I trust my alliance but if things get suspicious or Cody tells me that Zack or Ben have flipped I will play my idol tonight. To be continued.... 

Maddison

 Fell out of a tree idol hunting this morning. Big win out here in Tierra del Fuego for Maddison! 

james hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npTEWU0Hv5s

Zack M

we are about to go into another tribal to vote someone out and i'm so irritated right now. the plan is to vote out leanne because she may have an idol but she hasn't done anything all day long. najwah is literally messaging EVERYONE but is too scared to throw out a name. she wants to make big moves but can't and needs someone to do it for her. this scares me more than leanne because i'm close with her. ben and i have a trio chat with her. we could easily swoop in and say omg i'm so sorry after and make things ok if there is a tribe swap. leaving najwah gives cody the upper hand. i need the control. speaking of cody. cody and sarah have already early voted. i'm sorry but this just should not be allowed. this game is taking up a lot of time but welcome to survivor. we're all tired and don't want to be doing this on a saturday but here i am. i swear my team keeps losing because none of them are giving 100% like i am. tyler should have been on this tribe and i should have been on the other. 

the only person i feel safe with right now is ben. james is a close second. 

fingers crossed i don't get blindsided.

Grae G

Hello ok!! So I’m currently on good ground w everyone in the game but I want to solidify bonds w kalle Olivia and Maddison. I feel these people really trust me so I want to make sure they trust me. It’s become clear to me that every person in the game feels closest to John. He’s telling everyone different info and I’ve caught him in several lies- I’m not sure what I want to do about it yet. But as soon as I see an opportunity I’m gunning for him. But if I can’t swing it then maybe Ryan as an easy next vote bc he admitted to me he got us the disadvantage lol.

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #1: “brb gotta go to dinner” - Logan

This is literally the worst possible outcome, I would know the 10 fkers on the other tribe and only know of like 2 people on this tribe, sayonara it's a wrap a mere 5 minutes after the cast reveal concluded.

Omg! So this game started and i landed on a short witches tribe.. Maybe we are short but the humor around Helgamine is definitely tall. Love my tribemates! They are a bunch of really chill and fun to talk to people. At this stage of the game my goal is to get a good grasp on the already existing pre-game relationships within people. This knowledge will allow me to know what to say and to who. Other than that i'm focused on developing bonds with people without approaching them with gametalk. A pretty slow start for me, i don't need at all to jump into making alliances left and right. It's the beginning so its important to just leave a good (and non threatning) impression on my  tribemates.Those people seem to want to CALL a lot during the day JASHDKGAHD and i'm still exhausted from study group calls for exams so.. i'm not gonna be trying to do a lot of that. I'm however really excited for what's this game is going to bring up <3

_______________________________________________________________

Gonna do my own first impressions as well, to put some of my thoughts together.

Daisy - oh how i love her.. She's so positive and adorable. We have a pending plan for a call and I'm really looking forward to it. She's more experienced in discord ORGs than me and we are both BaR winners so.. we gotta work together. At least for now. She seems like someone that would be a bigger threat than me down the road.. I feel like we have a potential to work together well and I'd want to establish a duo with her and be partners in crime in this tribe. <3

Scott - OMG the only person in this whole cast that i actually knew before this game? we didn't talk in like 4 years but when i saw him in this cast i literally gasped. I enjoyed catching up with him and he is definitely someone i could see myself aligning with. Yesterday we shared each other concerns about a mention of alliances and alliance calls. And neither of us  introduced gametalk with other tribemates. He also mentioned that he wants me to be his #1 in this game. And i'm digging that!

Rob - OKAY our conversation on day 1 was p much awkward.. We have a mutual friend from the fb org and he was mad at me for winning an ORG over her and he literally didn't hestitate on letting me know that.. But we talked a lot yesterday and found out many common interests. He wants us to be like Fenella and Shonee and i mean why not? I really like talking to him but i'm not sure if i can trust him yet. He's the first person that reached out to me about doing a call and we did one today LMAO i had a lot of fun. He's definitely very social so keeping him as close as possible to me can only bring me some benefits. stan him tho <3

Seamus - Someone who i saw around forever but never had any opportunity to talk or meet his ass.  i just vibe w/ his clowny personality and already called him a caveman and a half british. <3 hoping to build a good connection here.

Logan - Funny and very active. He definitely stands out as he talks the most in the tribe chat and plans all the tribe calls. We had some good convos so far, mainly about total drama. Love watching his videos for this immunity challenge KSAJDHG but other than that i'm not sure how i feel about him but i would like to get close to him and work together when the game gears will switch on

Jules - She's so adorable and our talks are very cute but... they don't happen very often.  And she's not really contributing in the challenge so far which i really hope is going to change because in case we lose i fear that people will view her as an easy prey for the first boot? I hope that won't be the case and that she's going to snap cuz i think she's lovely and i enjoy our conversations.

Conor - Didn't have much to write about him until today. He just dyed his hair to the same color i got last summer so we have no choice but to stan. For real tho, we are the only europeans on this tribe (maybe even entire game?) but i don't have much to say about him. Curious how he will approach the game once we are forced to start playing.

Gage - Hmmmm! I like him, but don't really have any kind of trust towards him. He's just quite flirty and the flow of our conversations is weird/forced? I can't stop thinking abt Dean Kowalski and Spencer whenever he messages me.. It's like he's their survivor child.

Vincent - Great he immediately brought up his twin brother with who i played twice and ended him... twice as well. I literally have no idea how or what to talk about with him :/

Hmm the challenge is almost over

I definitely wasn't a challenge MVP by any means. I think everyone but Scott outscored me. But I did a lot better than I could have expected at the challenge start. 65 points isn't a Dooze-level score but it's a lot better than the 30 points I was expecting earlier.

Click HERE to watch Billy’s Round 1 Video!

Lol I'm super happy to be apart of this season!! So far it's turning out to be a great one and I'm hoping that I can do what I need to in order to get far.

Not gonna lie I just had a feeling we were gonna lose this challenge. Like I just... stink at challenges and knew I wasn't going to do well. So I just made sure I didn't have the worst score. Which I hope puts me in the clear. However, i lowkey get the vibe I might be going just cause the conversations are so... bland. Like no ones come purposing an alliance and such. I know I don't want to be the first person to do so, which means someone's gonna have to step up.

Anyways, here's my thoughts on everyone.

Szymon: he's cool, definitely my #1 out here, we've known each other from previous orgs and such. Seamus: I know who he is from tumblr,  but I don't know him that well. he seems chill. Daisy: Queen, shes an icon and O hope she can be my female iconic duo Logan: He seems like he wants to be THAT person who likes to be in control of everything, but doesn't want to come off as controling everything. So I let him think he owns me :) Vincent: I like him, he's a cool guy and one of the few I've talked to the most. He already told me about his vote steal and I'm just like "damn, look at you go!" Conor: He's cool too! I enjoy talking to him when I wake up in the morning. I like hearing about him and his boyfriend too. Gage: home boy likes to flirt around with everyone doesn't he. i'll play a long, but leaving a mental note to not go far with him. Jules: They're cool, not really that social tho but they try. Rob: I forget that he's on this season oops.

I really thought I was gonna get the boot first cause everyone is just so quiet. But the conversations seem to be between Jules and Vincent. Which I'm personally okay with either of them as long as I'm still here. I'd prefer Rob though just cause he doesn't make an effort to talk to me that much, but it is what it is.

Let's hope I get by this round and can survive the first boot. I like to think I can, but you never know with this group.

Click HERE to watch Cindi’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Round 1 Video!

Tribe Assessment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bPt3M2z-Yw&feature=youtu.be

Day 2 Confession:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU2v9ChlOm4&feature=youtu.be

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA SAY IM NOT ACTIVE JUST BECAUSE I DONT GIVE MY BLOOD SWEAT TEARS AND COOCHIE TO TALKING TO ALL THESE FUCKING MEN???????? LIKE???? YALL ARE TIRING! YALL ARE ALSO LOVELY BUT I CANNOT TAKE ALL THIS MALE ENERGY!!!!! PLS UNDERSTAND!!!! P L E A S E!!!! MEN SUCK BYE

we lost the challenge which sucked. but i really like my tribe. everyone seems chill. i didnt think we were gonna win the challenge though becase several people didnt rlly try to even get 100. so originally i thought it would just be a super easy vote on vincent because he isnt very chatty, but logan is annoying everyone. asking to one on one call and sinking his own ship by pushing so hard (giggity) for jules to go home. so i think either logan or vincent will go this round

I’m liking my tribe mates more than I expected. I’m just trying to play it cool so I make it to merge. I feel like that’s everyone’s goal. I love the alliance of Cindi, both Dylan’s and myself. I’m hoping that we stick together, because I feel like we can be a really strong alliance moving forward. I also think I might be good with Beck, because they’re dating Asya and we played a game together a couple years ago. Asya apparently still really likes me from what Beck said. So woo! Let’s continue the good vibes.

Click HERE to watch Beck’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Ali’s Round 1 Video!

So past 4 hours is a lot to process, but basically i got home expecting a pretty easy vote on Vincent. He's a great kid that but have to think about performing well in the challenges as a tribe. So then miss Logan decided to play as if it was merge and not day 3 and just went off with targetting Jules?? I am not having any of that because Jules is too fun to talk so i made sure to let Jules know immediately of what was going on. I believe i was the first to warn her of what's happening so that brings us two closer. Logan then went on calls with everyone individually, ending my call in such a shady way with an excuse of having a dinner... when he was just going to call with Seamus. And he told Seamus that he was currently eating the dinner.. WHAT? Anyway just got the tea that Logan was making multiple trios as well. WHY DO YOU NEED TO PLAY SO HARD? THIS GAME HAS JUST STARTED skjdghd

I feel really bad because he said that he was the first boot the last time he played due to playing hard. But this is just him... not learning from his past mistakes at all :/ Im sorry but i don't feel comfortable moving forward with such a ticking bomb. Neither he or Vincent have any benefit for my game at this point so Im hoping this plan that we put in motion with Daisy to get rid of Logan works, and then we have Vincent as an easy vote next time we lose.

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Conor’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan’s Round 1 Video!

So I'm more optimistic now that I've properly gotten to know a lot of my tribe, I think I'm socially in a good place but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and get lazy with communication. I love the little group I've got with Beck, Cindi and Dylan and I think Dylan G and Christian or Chips would fit in like a glove if we ever visit tribal council, and we needed to bring in another couple of people.

All I have to say before tribal is that I really... finessed this vote.

Logan got lose and decided to voice call everyone telling them that they need to vote Daisy. Which made a lot of people more on edge to vote out Vincent. I don't want Vincent to go because I think he's still useful. He has the vote steal advantage and I think he's someone who trusts me. He might not be a number for other people, but Vincent is a number for me. SO I want to keep him around as much as I can cause I trust Vincent more than Logan. So to save Vincent, I decided to throw Logan under the bus and push for him to go. I'm glad I did that since that got traction with Szymon and Daisy on board with voting Logan. However, they weren't enough so I campaigned to Seamus, Gage, and Rob to vote Logan out. They were hesitant at first, but they eventually came around and got on the ship to vote Logan out. I had to voicecall Gage, Rob, and Szymon to convince them but I'm glad it worked. I mean, i had to throw out there that I had an alliance with Logan and Vincent in order to get them to expose Logan's other alliances, but I did what I needed to do in order to save Vincent. So with everyone on board to vote out Logan, I think I set myself up to be in a good spot moving forward.

If I'm gonna be the move maker this season, then I guess I'm starting out the game with one of the biggest moves yet. Poor logan being the first boot AGAIN, but that's what happens when you decide to scramble your butt off.

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Round 1 Video!

__________________________________________________ 

Logan is voted out 8-1. He is the first person voted out of Celestial: Behemoth.

Watch the Round 1 Cast Assessment with Anna/Jack/Jones & Alyssa below:

[kaliiwashere]

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[myblogwithothermediainserted]

Sunday, April 5, 2020 4:07am

(I’m posting the full things here in case the full things lose access. the real links are formatted much nicer)

https://lsa.umich.edu/lsa/news-events/all-news/search-news/special-delivery.html

Special Delivery

When COVID-19 ended in-person classes for the semester, a lot of students struggled with confusion and anxiety. That’s when one LSA professor really delivered.

By Susan Hutton

At the beginning of every semester, Mike Gould—professor of LSA’s Residential College and U-M’s School of Music, Theatre & Dance—offers his students access to GAP: the Gould Assistance Program. “It’s just a way to remind my students that they should be comfortable asking me for help or advice, even after they graduate,” he explains. So when COVID-19 forced in-person classes to go remote, he thought about how to make his students feel his support more concretely. And that’s the moment when the Gould Pizza Assistance Program was born.

To participate, Gould’s students fill out a survey saying what they want on their pizza, when they want it, and where—Gould takes care of the rest. “The first week I had 11 pizzas delivered, and the next week I had nine,” he says. “It’s amazing what people like on their pizzas, and it’s nice to hear students’ happy reactions in what has been a pretty surreal and stressful time.”

Gould has long been tuned into his students’ stress. “At the beginning of every single class, I ask each of my students to rank their stress level,” he says. “This helps me track the stress temperature in the class and to focus on the students who are really stressed out.” It’s a practice he’s maintained in his virtual classroom too. “If a student’s stress level is high, I ask what is going on aside from the obvious situation. We all deal with it together in a way, and I try to make sure they know we can help each other deal with this situation and also be creative and productive.”

The online classes have created light-hearted moments and opportunities to connect too.

“We get unusual glimpses into each other’s lives and where and how we live,” he says. “Teaching remotely, I see my students’ rooms, their posters, their parents and pets, their significant others, the kinds of cereal they eat. Some come to class in pajamas. It has been extremely interesting, and, at times, hilarious. And, to be honest, we’ve done a lot of interesting work because of this situation.”

Being isolated has opened creative avenues for his own work as a composer too.

“Usually I’d compose with other musicians in the studio together,” he explains, “but this makes you think differently about creating music and staying engaged with people while you’re isolated.”

Gould is keen to discover what else comes from teaching in this new environment. “So far, my favorite part of online teaching is putting on a virtual background in Zoom and dancing for my students.”

There may be other inspiring and meaningful breakthroughs, but we’ll have to wait for them. “I’ve got to go,” he says, ending our interview. “I have a class to teach from my basement.”

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/federal-government-spent-millions-to-ramp-up-mask-readiness-but-that-isnt-helping-now/2020/04/03/d62dda5c-74fa-11ea-a9bd-9f8b593300d0_story.html

Federal government spent millions to ramp up mask readiness, but that isn’t helping now.

By Jon Swaine

“In September 2018, the Trump administration received detailed plans for a new machine designed to churn out millions of protective respirator masks at high speed during a pandemic.

The plans, submitted to the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) by medical manufacturer O&M Halyard, were the culmination of a venture unveiled almost three years earlier by the Obama administration.

But HHS did not proceed with making the machine.

The project was one of two N95 mask ventures — totaling $9.8 million — that the federal government embarked on over the past five years to better prepare for pandemics.

The other involves the development of reusable masks to replace the single-use variety currently so scarce that medical professionals are using theirs over and over. Expert panels have advised the government for at least 14 years that reusable masks were vital.

That effort, like the quick mask machine, has not led to a single new mask for the government’s response.

“The Halyard contract was part of an explicit strategy to ensure we could surge mask production in the next crisis,” said Nicole Lurie, who was the HHS assistant secretary for preparedness and response under Barack Obama. “Now we’re dealing with the consequences of not having that capability.”

Halyard said Thursday in a statement that its work on the government contract was completed in September 2018. A spokeswoman declined to give additional details.

An HHS spokesperson, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, told The Washington Post that although Halyard’s plans were feasible, no funding was available to build the machine.

HHS’s Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, or BARDA, the department that solicited the Halyard design, had a budget of nearly $1.5 billion for 2020, according to an HHS report.

Amid the current crisis, the design remains under consideration, according to the spokesperson, who said, “Implementing this design along with use of more proven mask manufacturing techniques are being considered by a supply chain task force to reduce N95 shortages.”

In an interview with CNBC last week, Edward A. Pesicka, chief executive of Halyard’s parent company, Owens & Minor, said his company had already stepped up production of masks and other protective gear to its maximum.

“We are in the process of actually expanding capacity, but that’s going to take probably five to six months to make sure that you have the capability to expand that capacity,” Pesicka said.

He did not mention the firm’s work for the government on a high-speed machine.

Pesicka did not respond to an email requesting comment.

Making masks quickly

The Obama administration and medical firm Halyard Health of Alpharetta, Ga., announced the project to develop a rapid pandemic mask production line in December 2015.

In May 2018, another firm, Owens & Minor of Mechanicsville, Va., bought Halyard’s surgical clothing business to operate as a division named O&M Halyard.

On the government side, the fast-mask project was an initiative of BARDA, a part of HHS that is responsible for creating countermeasures against pandemics, biochemical attacks and other threats.

Halyard promised in its 2015 statement to design a “one-of-a-kind, high-speed machine” to help federal health planners solve a production problem that had bedeviled them for years.

Officials had long assumed that a public health emergency would one day create a huge demand for the respirator masks known as N95s. But the difficulty of predicting when a pandemic or other crisis would strike meant stockpiled masks could pass their expiration dates while sitting on shelves.

Halyard said its new machine would provide a just-in-time inventory alternative and avoid waste by enabling rapid and plentiful production when a crisis hit.

“Pandemic preparedness in the United States is imperative to protecting health and saving lives, and respirator manufacturing capacity remains a critical gap in that preparedness,” Robin Robinson, then the director of BARDA, said in a statement at the time.

HHS officials said in a strategy document that they hoped the machine would produce at least 1.5 million masks per day — 10 times the output manufacturers were each then telling the government they could do.

Asked whether the machine in its design could have accomplished the 1.5 million daily rate, Halyard said in a statement that it submitted a plan “to meet the requested specifications.” The HHS spokesperson said, “The project successfully demonstrated the feasibility of the approach and developed an initial design of a high-speed mask manufacturing line.”

No details of progress in the Halyard mask project appear to have been publicly reported by the government.However, in May 2017, HHS signed off on a $3.3 million payment to Halyard as part of the machine project, according to federal contracting records.

A Halyard employee involved in the project told The Post that the firm delivered the design to the government on time in 2018 and within the government’s $5 million budget. Outside contractors and engineering firms were brought in, according to the manager, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk publicly about the work.

Brief mentions in HHS budget requests to Congress for 2020 and 2021 noted the department was “supporting efforts at Halyard Health to develop high-speed manufacturing for surge production” of N95 masks.

But in an emailed statement from O&M Halyard, the company said: “Owens & Minor Halyard’s obligations under that contract were completed with delivery of a final design package to BARDA in September 2018.”

The HHS spokesperson said references to the Halyard collaboration appeared in recent budgets because BARDA “requested funding to build the prototype” but did not get enough money for it.

As of Friday evening, the spokesperson had not answered a question about whether the shortfall reflected a congressional decision or was a consequence of shifting priorities within HHS.

Face masks in national medical supply stockpile were not sufficiently replenished since 2009

When the pandemic mask project launched in 2015, Halyard was facing legal action over some of its protective medical gear.

A group of hospitals and clinics roughly a year earlier had sued the firm and its former parent company, paper and medical giant Kimberly-Clark, alleging fraud in the marketing of surgical gowns.

Among other disclosures during the class-action lawsuit in Los Angeles, one Kimberly-Clark employee was found to have said in an email that the process used to seal the seams on the gowns was “crap,” court filings show.

Company executives rejected that characterization of the production process in their testimony and maintained that the gowns were of high quality.

The lawsuit was filed by a then relatively unknown attorney: Michael Avenatti.

Avenatti would go on to find fame representing adult-film actress Stormy Daniels in high-profile legal fights against President Trump. Avenatti now is in a New York jail, awaiting sentencing after his February conviction for trying to extort sportswear firm Nike.

At the surgical gown trial in the spring of 2017, a jury found that Kimberly-Clark and Halyard had misrepresented the safety of its MicroCool-branded surgical gowns. The verdict is on appeal at the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit.

In its appeal, Halyard says among other arguments that none of the clinics that sued had suffered any injuries from its gowns. The firm says that tens of millions of gowns have been sold without any reported infections.

Stephen Devereaux, an attorney for Halyard in the case, said in an email, “The company does not comment on pending litigation.”

The jury awarded $454 million in total damages, which Judge Dolly M. Gee reduced to about $25 million. Kimberly-Clark and Halyard are in an ongoing legal dispute about who should pay the damages, court records show.

The HHS spokesperson said Halyard made the department aware of the case before the mask machine contract was signed.

Soon after Owens & Minor bought Halyard’s surgical clothing business in 2018, the surviving firm renamed itself Avanos Medical. Avanos remains based in Alpharetta but now focuses on technical medical devices.

Avanos, not O&M Halyard, has responsibility for the surgical gown litigation, according to representatives of both companies.

Raul Damas, an Avanos spokesman, said of the mask-making project that “that program and capability went to Owens & Minor when Halyard sold its surgical business to them” and that Avanos had “no visibility” on the project after that.

Lee Burnes, who was a Halyard vice president for research and development in 2015, when the mask project was announced, said the company had pursued it for the chance to “demonstrate our expertise and help make a difference.”

This week, Burnes, now a senior vice president at Avanos, declined to comment on the design venture. “I am no longer part of Halyard and it has been a couple of years,” he said in an email.

Making a reusable mask

While funding Halyard’s mask effort, HHS’s BARDA also backed development of an N95 mask that could be used by medical personnel more than once without risk of contamination or infection.

In September 2017, the Trump administration contracted with Applied Research Associates of Albuquerque to create a prototype of a “next-generation respirator,” as the masks are called, that could be sanitized and reused during public health emergencies.

Medical personnel tackling the coronavirus outbreak have said that because of shortages, they have had no choice but to reuse their conventional N95 masks, a practice that manufacturers warn could diminish the masks’ effectiveness.

Inside America’s mask crunch: A slow government reaction and an industry wary of liability

Applied Research Associates has been awarded $4.8 million for the project so far, according to public contract records, and received an extension in May to work beyond its 15-month prototype development phase.

But that 2019 deal came too late for the coronavirus outbreak.

“Unfortunately, if the pandemic would have happened next year, we’d have been in much better shape,” said Brian Heimbuch, principal investigator on the project for Applied Research Associates. “It’s still in progress. It looks promising.”

It’s been 14 years since experts assembled by the Institute of Medicine warned of the need for a reusable mask. The Committee on the Development of Reusable Facemasks for Use During an Influenza Pandemic took up the issue in January 2006 as part of a federally funded study, delivering its recommendations in a few months.

Health officials and manufacturers, the panel said, should collaborate closely to create materials for an N95 mask that could be used again and again.

“Given the potential duration of a pandemic, even stepped-up production and stockpiling of disposable medical masks and N95 respirators may not be sufficient to meet demand,” the committee warned.

It noted a government estimate that medical personnel would need 90 million N95s during a six-week pandemic. The same estimate would be cited nine years later by Halyard Health as evidence that its high-speed mask machine was needed.

In 2009, another panel, this time inside the government, also urged development of masks that could be used more than once to meet demand in a crisis.

Working under the name Project B.R.E.A.T.H.E. — Better Respiratory Equipment using Advanced Technologies for Healthcare Employees — the group assigned the highest priority rating to its recommendation on reusability.

Lewis J. Radonovich Jr., who was then a senior health official at the Department of Veterans Affairs, led the panel. Now a senior researcher at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, he did not respond to a request for comment.

Howard Cohen, a professor of occupational safety at the University of New Haven who also was a member of the committee, said its work unfortunately had proved prescient.

“It is sad, because we really did see this coming,” Cohen said. “We saw the shortfall. And there were a bunch of things that potentially could have been done and weren’t.”

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https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/02/health/fda-blood-donations-coronavirus.html

F.D.A. Relaxes Blood Donation Guidelines for Gay Men and Others

The agency reduced its recommended deferral period for male donors who have had sex with another man to three months, down from one year.

By Mihir Zaveri and Derrick Bryson Taylor

The Food and Drug Administration announced on Thursday that it was significantly loosening its recommendations for blood donations from gay and bisexual men, reducing the amount of time men who have had sex with men should wait before they give blood to three months from one year in hopes of ameliorating a drastic drop in supply during the coronavirus pandemic.

The earlier 12-month waiting period was intensely criticized as discriminatory and antiquated when the F.D.A. introduced it in 2015 to replace a lifetime prohibition on blood donation by gay and bisexual men.

That ban was enacted in 1983, early in the AIDS epidemic when little was known about the human immunodeficiency virus that caused the disease. The F.D.A. re-examined the ban over the years, but had maintained that the restriction was necessary to keep the blood supply safe and untainted by H.I.V.

In support of its change on Thursday, the agency said in a statement that based on recent studies, it had “concluded that current policies regarding certain donor eligibility criteria can be modified without compromising the safety of the blood supply.”

The F.D.A. said the new recommendations would remain in place after the pandemic ends.

L.G.B.T.Q. advocates applauded the agency’s latest move on Thursday, but said they would work to lift the waiting period entirely.

“L.G.B.T.Q. Americans can hold their heads up today and know that our voices will always triumph over discrimination,” Sarah Kate Ellis, the president and chief executive of GLAAD, said in a statement on Thursday. “This is a victory for all of us who spoke out against the discriminatory ban on gay and bisexual men donating blood.

The F.D.A. also previously recommended that women with male sexual partners who have had sex with men in the past year not donate blood. The revisions on Thursday lowered that period to three months as well.

The move came as thousands of blood drives nationwide were being canceled alongside the closures of schools, churches and other institutions during the outbreak. Some possible donors and volunteers have avoided blood donation centers because of social distancing guidelines.

Organizers have put into place new measures to keep donations flowing, including checking the temperatures of staff members and donors, providing hand sanitizer and increasing the spacing between donors.

Still, doctors and organizations that support blood donation have emphasized that they need donations to maintain a stable blood supply.

“Maintaining an adequate blood supply is vital to public health,” the F.D.A. said in the statement. “Blood donors help patients of all ages — accident and burn victims, heart surgery and organ transplant patients, and those battling cancer and other life-threatening conditions.”

Dr. Amesh Adalja, an infectious diseases physician at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, noted that there were still “gunshot wounds happening all over the country, there are people in car accidents.”

“The reasons that people need blood transfusions aren’t really going to be impacted by this,” he said.

Even before the pandemic, there had been a chorus of voices calling for the F.D.A. to lift or change its constraints on blood donations from gay and bisexual men.

In November, the American Red Cross called for the F.D.A. to reduce the deferral period for men who have had sex with men to three months, noting similar moves in Britain and Canada. On Wednesday, Representatives Carolyn B. Maloney and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democrats of New York, sent a letter to the agency calling for a revision of the policy.

“This wasn’t something we needed to keep anymore,” Dr. Adalja said. “These types of restrictions weren’t really making sense in the era of modern diagnostic technology.”

“It’s too bad that it took a pandemic to actually prompt this, because it should have been prompted much earlier when technology was such that we could ensure the safety of our blood supply,” he said.

Dr. David W. Rosenthal, a medical director at Northwell Health in Great Neck, N.Y., said the move would positively affect the current blood supply shortage.

“We may be talking about up to 11 percent of the population that identify as being members of the L.G.B.T. community,” he said. “By increasing the blood supply to let these additional individuals be able to donate blood, that will certainly make blood more available to those who need it.”

The F.D.A. enacted the lifetime ban on male donors who have sex with men in 1983, the year the virus that would become known as H.I.V. was discovered. At the time, there was no way to test blood donations for the presence of the virus.

When the F.D.A. scrapped the lifetime ban in December 2015, gay rights groups called the move a major stride toward ending what they considered a discriminatory national policy. Critics maintained that donations should be considered on an individual basis, as gay men — like some heterosexual men and women — are at far higher risk of H.I.V. infection than the general population.

“While this change by the F.D.A. is a step in the right direction, it still bases itself in bias rather than science,” Alphonso David, president of the Human Rights Campaign, said in a statement. Creating policy based on identity as opposed to risk is “irrational” given the current Covid-19 epidemic, he said.

“It is more critical than ever to prioritize science and facts over fear and bias.”