#what am i even talking about. everything is cow.

[butchreyes]

CHARLIE! i am here to ask for any details you’d like to give for any part of “monday”! it still has not left my brain and would love to just let you talk about it if you’d like!!! <3 -maddie

monday my sweet little baby. oh i have so much i could say about this one (that maddie hasn''t already heard)

in many ways i consider monday to be the sister-fic to salt the earth, in the sense that they were both born from me having wayyyy too in-depth headcanons about carlos and tk's teen years. everything i wrote about carlos's past already existed in my noggen; i just needed an excuse to use it.

i had the idea for the present-day story while watching an episode of the x-files* (02x05, duane barry). in that episode, mulder in sent in to help with a hostage situation with gunman who insists that he's been abducted by aliens, but when mulder gets in there, he ends up sympathizing with him. that was my basic concept. from there it was easy to connect moments from carlos's past to moments in this story, since his whole life has really been one endless refrain: is carlos the thing that gets killed (buddy), or the thing that does the killing (his father)?

buddy is a mirror for carlos, who is a mirror for dennis, who is a mirror for buddy. carlos could not save buddy from the false idea of the mercy kill, and he could not save dennis. he and the audience are both left wondering if he will ever save himself. (the same can also be said for the rigid expectations of masculinity, which saw buddy sent to the rodeo, and dennis brought to the brink of insanity.)

emmett is obviously a mirror for tk, but both really represent the concept of queerness overall. carlos was afraid of disappointing his father, so he denied his own queerness and lost emmett. in the present, he chooses to defy washington (who is a mirror for gabriel. stay with me now.) and chooses to go after tk. so we see some growth there, although ultimately the result is the same. someone always gets hurt, everyone is someone else's victim. he can never save the cow, who is dennis, who is himself.

this is why i called the fic monday (*incidentally, there's also an episode of the x-files called monday, which is the time-loop episode, so you could say my inspiration really carried through). monday is the first day of the week, the cycle beginning again. and carlos's whole life is one big cycle. it's a time loop starting over again every time he doesn't save the cow.

[smutoperator]

I Love Her Smile

Kim Jiwon (Jeewon) x Male Reader

Tags: ass eating, belly bulging, big tits worship, bikini, bouncy boobs, creampie, cup, cute smile, deepthroating, (lots of) facefucking, motorboating, pile driver, queefing, riding, titfucking, spit, vibrator

Word count: 3739

After filming the music video for Cignature's latest comeback, Jeewon seemed tired. Being the milking cow of a small company while carrying such a heavy load can be quite burdensome. But even after such an exausting routine, she managed to always smile.

You met Jeewon after the filming, asking her about how she felt. "I'm good, but a little tired; how about you?" she asked. "I'm fine; better now with you. I love your smile, Jeewon," you replied.

"I wasn't born yesterday; I know what you mean by that," Jeewon said. "Well, you're such a tease I had to notice," you said back. "Indeed, I live off that," she continued.

"Then stand up and show me what you mean by that," you told her. Jeewon understood the assignment, shaking her body left and right and making her beautiful milkers swing. "Perfect, they are so beautiful," you told her. Indeed, Jeewon's massive tits never ceased to amaze you, no matter how often you had seen them. That outfit they gave her for the video made Jeewon look sexier than ever, and you were enjoying it to the fullest.

"Shake them harder, tease me," you ordered to Jeewon, who obliged. Her small bra could barely hold her fully natural 34 double-D cup tits in place, and that got truer with all her shaking. Jeewon felt her nipples start to slip and tried to cover them as an instant reaction, but it was futile.

Jeewon laughed and bounced her boobs up and down. Her bra wasn't enough to hold them in place for long, with her right tits popping up first. She kept shaking them until they were on full display. "Good girl, that's what I'm talking about," you told her.

"That was fun," Jeewon smirked at you. "Keep teasing me; put your bra back and flash them," you told her, who does that before letting them fully free. "I could do this all day for you," she said. "But weren't you tired?" you asked her. "Yeah, but I love the attention you give to my tits," she said.

"Well, you're such a cute, sexy girl, Jeewon. I'll give you all the attention; better if you take those jeans off," you tell her. "Sure," she says, pulling her pants down and showing the lower part of her bikini. "It's all for you; we didn't film it in the music video because it hardly covers anything," she said.

"If it barely covers anything, you should just pull them to the side," you told Jeewon, who quickly followed, spreading her ass cheeks for you to see her holes. "We're just getting started," she said. "Indeed we are; take those panties off next," you ordered. "Hmmm nice, your ass is winking already; I can't wait to put my tongue in there," you told her.

"You're such a naughty boy," Jeewon told you. "Yes, I am," you said back. "You told me you were tired; you should sit on this chair and let me please you," you continued. "Of course," she said.

Jeewon sat on the char as you started massaging her bare boobs, then kissed them and licked her nipples. Alternating between the boobs, your tongue perfectly worshipped them. "Shake them into my face," you asked. Jeewon grabbed her udders close together, and you started motorboating her, much to her enjoyment. 

"Lube your tiddies," you told Jeewon, giving her a bottle to pour the liquid all over it. "Shake them for me, my baby," you said. Her lubed tits made for a much easier massage, as you quickly took advantage and easily slid your hands back into Jeewon's udders, clapping them against each other and enjoying the sound.

"Everything is better with lube," Jeewon says. "You know what's better? Your tits shaking in my face," you replied, starting another round of motorboating, this time with Jeewon going much faster. After she was done, you groped one of her tits while sucking the other like a needy baby.

"You like that, don't you?" you asked her. "Yes, I love it," Jeewon said, showing you her big, btight smile. "Shake them harder in my face," you told her. Jeewon amplified the intensity as your head was hit left and right by her huge milkers, and you loved it. So did Jeewon, who couldn't stop laughing.

"Hmmm, how much of those tiddies can I fit in my mouth?" you asked her, bringing them together and getting your face buried deep in her udders. "They can barely fit, I see," Jeewon laughed. Sometimes she tried to hide, but there was truly no point; her boobs are huge, and she loves getting them worshipped. "Your mouth is so good in my tiddies," Jeewon said as you kept kissing and grabbing them, even slapping yourself with them. 

"Let me spin it around and show where else my mouth can be good," you told her, spinning the chair hard to get Jeewon's ass in front of your face. You were so excited you ended up missing the mark and almost making her fall off. "Wow, you really want it," she said. "Yes, I do; put your ass close to my face," you replied.

"For all the talk about your tiddies, you sure got a nice ass too, Jeewon. Can you make your butt wink for me?" you asked, making her laugh. "How does a butt wink?" she asked. "Well, whatever, as long as you're ready for my tongue," you said, diving it into Jeewon's butthole with fast stabbings inside her pink anus.

Jeewon started moaning and grabbed your head to push it deeper into her ass. "Ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh, you tongue it so good," she said. "Lean forward and let me spit on it," you said, sniffing and eating her tiny butthole. "So, do you like my tongue in your ass?" you asked. "I love it," she said.

A few more minutes of eating ass and Jeewon moaning ensued as you tongue-fucked her. "You taste so good," you told her, following with spinning sessions with the chair where your mouth went from her anus straight to her big tits and then back to her asshole. "Which one do you like better, how I grab your tits or how I eat your ass?" you asked. "Can't decide; both are so good," she said back.

You went back to her tits for a bit, pinching her nipples and slapping them against each other. "I just love that sound, making a milkshake with them," you said. "Now let me get back in that ass," you said, getting your tonguing more intense and Jeewon's moans louder. "Oh my God," she said as you were committed not to spare a single inch of her anus without cleaning. 

"Ohhhh, ohhhhh, you eat my ass so good," Jeewon says, with lots of moans in between. "Then hold my head and push it against it," you replied. Jeewon shaken her ass with your face making noise between her cheeks, mimicking the motorboating you gave to her tits moments ago.

"Yeah, that's perfect, ahhhh," Jeewon enjoyed every second of your tongue in her ass. "You look amazing; it seems like you're ready to suck some cock," you told her. "I'd love to," she replied.

Jeewon unzips your trousers and gets shocked by your hard cock already popping out. "So big," she says, measuring it against the bottle of lube you gave her and finding out it's got the same length. Jeewon starts sucking it using no hands and getting very sloppy from the start. "Spit all over my cock," you tell her.

It doesn't take long before you grab her head and start pushing your shaft deeper into her throat, making Jeewon almost choke on it, spitting more saliva once she gags. She quickly recovers and starts blowing it off again, making a lot of noise. 

"Are you ready to get facefucked?" you ask her. Jeewon nods positively. "Then come here," you say, grabbing her head and pounding her sloppy throat a few times as a test. "I love all that spit dripping from your face," you say, as Jeewon uses it to lube your shaft and suck it deeper, her udders bouncing hard as you fuck her face.

"Drool on it, baby," you tell as you can't stop fucking Jeewon's cute face, hitting the depth of her throat until she coughs again. Her face is already full of saliva, as you let her jerk your dick as well. "You're such a good cocksucker, aren't you?" you praise her blowjob skills.

"God, I love how much spit is falling into your chest," you tell her as you don't stop fucking her face, taking it balls deep as a string of saliva forms from Jeewon's chin up to her tits. "Shake those tits if you want to suck my cock," you tell Jeeewon, who moves them left and right after. "Perfect, just like that," you tell her.

Jeewon savors your meat to the fullest as you treat her throat like her second pussy. "Get it all the way down your throat," you tell her, but she struggles with your massive length, quickly gagging after a few tries. "I can't; it's just so fucking big.".

"Open your mouth wide," you tell Jeewon as you keep sticking your cock in it and enjoy the bulging under her cheek, giving it a couple strikes. "Holy shit, my boobs are full of saliva," she says as she shakes them, and you start the hardest round of facefucking on her. The only thing better than a smile in her face was your cock stuffing it.

"Play with your pussy while you suck my cock," you order to Jeewon, handing her one of those gigantic magic wand vibrators, which she turns on and places between her legs. Your facefucking is so sloppy; she's got saliva running all the way down her belly now, and the louder the vibrator gets, the harder you fuck her face.

Jeewon starts to moan louder as her pussy gets massaged; between it and your thrusts in her mouth, she can barely hold the vibrator as her legs get weaker. "Good girl making that big cock wet enough to hop on it," you praise her. "Yes, I'm ready to ride this," she says.

"Not yet," you tell Jeewon as she gags on your cock. "Slap those tits against my cock," you order as Jeewon brings them up together and starts hitting your pole from both sides. "Perfect, now let me spank your tiddies," you say, slapping your hard shaft against her milkers as she once again gives you that big smile you love so much.

"Squeeze that cock," you ask Jeewon, who presses your shaft between her big tits. It's so girthy she can barely squeeze them together. After such a long time, finally a cock worthy of her massive boobage. You push it up and down her tits, like a sausage making its way between a pair of hot dog buns.

You don't hold back, giving Jeewon the hard titfucking her massive udders deserve. "Open your mouth, lick that cock while I destroy those big tits," you tell her. Jeewon loves it, licking your tip like a maniac every time it emerges out of her milkers. "Keep your mouth open," you say, thrusting so hard that instead you actually end up missing it multiple times.

You lay down and let Jeewon be in control. As she squeezes your cock so hard, only your tip now pops out of her tits. "Oh yeah, that's so good," you tell her. "My tits are so soft and wet; look how easily they slide between your cock," she says.

However, it doesn't take long for your primal instincts to take over. "Let me tittyfuck you, bitch," you say as you start thrusting up Jeewon's huge melons in full speed. Her big heart now forms a heart-shaped (or pussy-shaped, a few would say) hole that your cock passes through. Jeewon keeps it well lubed with some spits, as you slide between her boobs fairly easily.

You take a little break and let Jeewon bounce those boobs up and down your dick like a maniac, with a few cocksuckings in between. Jeewon then stops and starts deepthroating your cock. "Do it; get it as wet as you can for your pussy," you tell her. Jeewon does just as you ask, coating your cock full of spit for a couple minutes. "Don't use your hands, just bob your head all the way down my balls," you tell her. Jeewon goes deeper and deeper until she finally gags.

"Are you ready to ride me now?" you ask Jeewon. "YESSSSS!" she enthusiastically says, her big smile back on her face. Jeewon doesn't take long to sit on your pole. "Ohhhhh," you groan as her tight pussy squeezes your walls. Jeewon herself is impressive, as she takes your full length. "Oh my God, Oh My God, fuck," she says as soon as she starts bouncing on it.

Jeewon quickly turns into a mess; your wet cock easily slides up and down her pussy, and her boobs are now jiggling nonstop. "God damn it, you're so fucking big," she says, but never stopping the ride.

"Choke me, yessss, ahhhhhh," Jeewon moans as you make it harder on her. Your hips clap hard against her butt every time she descends down it. You give her a little test as you push your cock up while choking her, making her laugh full of joy as she quickly regains control of the ride.

"Oh my God, you're so fucking deep inside me," Jeewon says as she can't stop moaning. You now grope her big tits, much to her enjoyment. "OH YES, OH YES, OH YES, OH YES," she rapidily screams. "Lean forward a bit," you order to her, taking her massive udders in your mouth while she bounces on your dick.

Jeewon's pussy quickly starts tightening the longer she goes with her ride. You grab her waist and push her body down your hips. "AHHHH FUCKKKK, YESSSS," she screams, closing her eyes as she gets completely impaled and her boobs bounce freely.

More and more moans come out of Jeewson's mouth as she quickly gets exausted, using all her mouth to ride your cock with hard and fast bounces. Her udders are a spectacle to watch as they turn into wild pinballs that move directionless. "AHHHHH, Fuck my little pussy," Jeewon begs, slowly getting out of breath the longer you impale her pussy.

"Get on your feet and keep bouncing on that dick," you command. Jeewon pushes harder, her pussy getting stretched out to the fullest, her ass clapping hard against your body. You finally decide to give her a break: "Come here to suck my cock," you tell her, kneeling as Jeewon bends over and gets that meat in her mouth as soon as you give her the command.

"Don't cover your tits; let me see them bounce," you tell her as Jeewon bobs her head on your cock. Like an unstoppable force meeting an unmovable object, you meet her head bobbing with more thrusts down her throat, doing as much as you can to make her boobs bounce.

"Ready to put it back in your pussy?" you ask her. "Yes, always ready," she says. "But first, you need to get a little sloppier; let me make those tits shake," you continue, fucking her face once again as you entertain herself with all the movement her milkers make while you do so.

Jeewon can't hide how tired she looks at this point, panting multiple times as she gags on your cock. But she's still hungry for cock, spitting all over it and throating it as deep as she can as you destroy her tiny, slutty mouth.

"Now you're ready," you tell her. Jeewon brings the lube bottle back and gets her boobs wet again. "Shake it," you command, as the lube falls down into your crotch and Jeewon rubs it on your shaft before sitting on it again, this time in reverse cowgirl.

Jeewon doesn't hold back, riding your cock as hard as she can. Her boobs are an even bouncier mess now. And she's an even bigger mess of moans. "AHHHH, YES, FUCK, OH MY GOD," she screams as you just passively watch, Jeewon planting her hands against the couch as a support while she bounces on your prick.

"OH FUCK THAT'S DEEP," Jeewon says as she ends up sliding your cock inside her cunt all the way down to your balls. You take advantage of this moment of weakness from her and thrust upwards. "AHHHHHH, YESSSS," she screams as her tits almost fly out of her body.

"FUCK THAT'S SO DEEP IN MY STOMACH, YES, YES, YES," Jeewon screams as your cock strikes her mercilessly balls deep, losing her breath as you hit her cervix. Her body is fully sweaty as she just lies on top of you and sits with your cock deep inside her, massaging your balls while she tries to recover from the quick but extremely hard pounding you just gave her.

Jeewon tries to ride a couple times but can barely last a minute. "FUCK YES, YES, YES," she says. "I need this cock so bad, but I'm so fucking tired," she says. "Then suck my dick," you tell her as she takes it deep in her throat like a hungry demon, but you do to her face just as you did to her pussy, pouding it from down low while Jeewon struggles with her throat getting filled full of cock at a franctic pace.

"Are you ready to get fucked lying on your back?" you ask Jeewon. "Yes, please, do it; I've never done this position before," Jeewon says with a huge smile on her face, her legs pressed against her big boobs. "Ready for this big cock to take you on a piledriver?" you keep asking. "Yesss, I'm so excited," Jeewon answers.

You rub and slap your cock against Jeewon's entrance, adding a little lube around her lower side. Jeewon's pussy starts queefing as soon as you penetrate it. You love the noise coming out of her cunt as you fuck her. "Hmmm, look at this tight pussy squirting all that lube," you say. "That's so hot," you say.

Jeewon grabs her boobs, jiggling them with her hands, and her moans are very out of breath now. You play with her pussy going in and out of it and enjoying the queefing sounds. You slowly pick up the pace, bulging your massive cock under her belly. "Fuck this little pussy, YESSSS, FUCKKK," Jeewon screams in between lots of moans.

"Look at that big cock under my stomach," Jeewon notices your bulging dick, massaging her belly in the area around it. You hit her pussy straight and deep, staying with your shaft buried all the way down her cunt. "Let's see it, let's see it," you enjoy your cock stabbing her insides as Jeewon runs her hands around the bulge under her tummy. "Poke me right there, please," she demands.

"AHHHHHH, OHHHHH FUCKKKK," Jeewon screams as you hit deep in her cervix; she is exhausted now and just enjoys you taking her pussy all the way in. A few liquids come out of her vagina, and you love it. "Oh God, are you squirting?" you ask her. "YESSSS," she screams as your cock dives into a pudddle of juices that get trapped between your shaft and gravity, pushing it back down inside Jeewon's fuckhole.

Jeewon laughs as you finger her little pussy. "Come here, baby, taste that cock full of squirt," you tell her. Jeewon gets up immediately, diving to suck your dick and lick your shaft from top to bottom, enjoying the taste of herself. "Dirty girl," you say to her as she chokes on your cock and bounces her tit with her franctic head-bobbing, smiling like the good whore she is.

As Jeewon finishes gagging on your cock, a coat of saliva fills it from top to bottom. She still has the strength for one final round, slapping her own ass as you look at her baby-making body. Jeewon puts her right leg up and gets herself into an acrobatic position on the couch for one last fucking. You slide your cock deep into her pussy from the beginning, making her moan softly.

You pound Jeewon fast and hard, making sure her boobs bounce as much as possible. At this point, Jeewon can barely feel her legs, just letting herself become a little cocksleeve for your monster cock. "Oh yes, oh yes," she moans as your balls clap against her clit and her boobs hit her chin. "That feels so fucking amazing," she says as your cock relentlessly attacks her cunt.

"OH YES, OH YES, OH YES," Jeewon says as you pound her balls deep. Her tits become massive bouncy pinballs at each thrust you give her; her clit stretches out like an opening mouth, and speaking of mouths, she opens her as far as she can to moan every time your cock fills her insides.

"CUM FOR ME, YES, CUM IN MY LITTLE PUSSY, PLEASE," Jeewon begs. Soon, you leave your signature inside it, coating her walls full of your white ink just as she wanted to. "Push it out," you tell her, spreading her pussy lips and bringing a cup where your cum lands after flowing out of her pussy.

Jeewon pushes the cum out of her pussy like a cow getting milked out of her tits. "Drop on your knees and pour it all over your big tits for me," you demand as Jeewon picks the cup up and fills her milkers full of your milk, licking her own nipples to taste your cum right out of her boobs as she gives you one final big smile.

"That was a lot of fun," Jeewon says. "So you had a lot of fun, you little slut; what was your favorite part?" you ask her. "Probably the piledriver loved watching your cock poking me from the inside," she said. "That's great; I hope I get to have more fun with you," you tell her. "Me too; that would be awesome," Jeewon replied.

"Last thing, I really love your smile," you say to Jeewon.

"And my big tits and little pussy too," Jeewon says, shaking her tiddies for one last time.

"Needless to say I love them."

[zhukzucraft]

=> Joel: Do what must be done

You are doing what must be done when you are very rudely interrupted by a short shouty man,

Bdubs: Hey. HEY!!! Stop that. What do you have against horses anyways! They are beautiful creatures… and don’t even drop anything worthwhile - just leather!!! You wanna' know where else you can get leather?! Cows! They drop beef too!!! All horses drop is sadness and a pained death scream…

The horse you were punching lets out it’s final neigh in a melodious cadence,

Bdubs: See?!

Joel: Music to my ears-

Bdubs: Don’t tell me you enjoy that sound?! No sane person enjoys that sound!!! It’s horrible… like you. You’re horrible.

Joel: Well, would you look at that, it dropped a leather. Don’t you need three of these to craft a saddle? 

Bdubs: ...maybe

Joel: Do you want it so you can make one and ride a horse in the SINGULAR DIRECTION that isn't immediately blocked off by blummin' water!?

Bdubs: ...

Bdubs: ...I don’t want your dirty horse leather!!! I refuse - on moral principle!

Joel: Fair, you need all the high ground you can get-

Bdubs: ARE YOU MAKIN’ FUN OF ME?!?! You’re shorter than I am.

Joel: Only if you count the hair, lad. It constitutes at least a third of your height.

Bdubs proceeds to make some kind of unintelligible grumble and starts punching the two cows you saw earlier, looks like he does want leather after all. 

As for you, while you would love to finish off the job you started, Bdubs did raise one good point: horses don’t drop food… begrudgingly you pause your equestrian extermination in favor of sheep slaughter.

However you don’t get that far on mutton mutilation before your communicator goes off a ton of times. You keep getting interrupted…

As Doc’s message goes off you lock eyes with Bdubs’ uncomfortably large ones. Those things are uncanny... Well, it looks like neither of you are paired with the cyborg goat man.

But since you two were so close to where he fell you decide to check up on (read: tease) one of the servers newest members after he made such a ruckus in chat.

It turns out his soulmate was right there at spawn, and it just happened to be the other newbie. What are the odds of that?

Bdubs: Pssht, what amateurs. Don't they know it's traditional to check soulmates with the ol' fashioned punch test?

Joel: Punch test?

Bdubs: Yep. Like this-

Joel: What was that for?!

Bdubs: I told you, a punch test. 

Joel: That’s not what I meant! Why so many times!?

Bdubs: I had to be extra sure that I wasn’t soulbound with horse punching' scum like you.

Joel: …

Bdubs: HEY, OW! EXCUUUSE YOU!!!

Joel: Sorry, double checking... I had to make extra sure I wasn’t soulbound with a stupid horse lover like you.

Bdubs: …yooouuu-

Joel: at least now we definitely know we aren’t linked, 

Bdubs: For goodness sakes. If I was linked with you, I might’ve just ended my series right then and there!

Joel: Just to take me out with you!? You are an idiot. 

Bdubs: To save myself from suffering. Not everything is about you! 

Joel: Yes it is.

Bdubs: No it isn’t.

Joel: Yes it is.

Bdubs: No it isn’t!!! And to prove that, I’ll stop talking to you!

=====>

Start Over -- Go Back

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[pupkashi]

in which gojo realizes you truly see him

a/n: just a little thought i have i want to comfort him and hug him always <3 thank u to the amazing wonderful lovely @vagabond-umlaut for helping me w this fic <33 would’ve been hot garbage without u i love u xoxo <3

wordcount: 720

masterlist

Gojo Satoru had only known life through his many titles.

Gojo Satoru, head of the Gojo clan.

Gojo Satoru, holder of the Six Eyes and Limitless.

Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer.

satoru hated titles. he hated being known and labeled for the things that didn’t even make up who he was. no one after suguru came close to trying to get to know him.

his fellow sorcerers always too busy or intimidated, viewing him as a spectacle.

there was a sense of longing in his heart to find someone who really wanted to know him. someone to ask him all his favorites, someone to ask him what he wanted to be as a child, what his fears were, if he had a middle name, what animal he’s always wanted as a pet.

but there was never anyone who got past the surface level questions.

until he met you.

you who upon meeting him gave him a kind smile, not a clue of who he was, telling him he could sit with you in the booth of the much too crowded coffee shop.

“they really should get more chairs around here” he mumbles, looking up at you with a small grin when you laugh in agreement, glancing up from your laptop.

“seriously! half the time it’s a gamble if I’ll be able to get some work done or if I’ll have to drive back home” you chuckle, gojo smiling at your words.

you both spent some more time talking, sipping on your respective drinks and getting to know each other.

satoru found out you had no clue about Jujutsu, given by the way you’d never heard of jujutu tech or of him. he couldn’t stop himself from giving you a charming smile, scribbling his number on a napkin before saying goodbye, a smile on his face as he walked out of the coffee shop.

you who on the second date asked him what animal he thinks he could fight and win, asking him his favorite songs and if he’d ever been to a concert before.

you who on the fourth date had him giggling, confessing how much he liked you and telling you all about his life because he wants this to work out so bad and it can’t start off as a lie.

you who a week later calls him, asking him to answer truthfully when you ask him what animal he could really take in a fight, laughing when he answers with ‘at least a cow’ his lips curling upwards at the sound.

he’s laying on the couch with you, your hands lost in his hair as the movie plays in the background softly, your voice is quiet as you speak up.

“do you have a middle name?” the question is simple, some might think it silly. but to satoru it’s like his whole world is flipped upside down.

because here he is, in your warm and homey apartment that’s nothing like his cold larger one, with you, who brings him all the love and joy he could’ve ever imagined. he’s looking at you with glimmering eyes, heart stuttering at the sight of you in his shirt that you’d stolen with a smile.

it’s with that question that he’s realizing he’s finally found someone who really wants to know him. who doesn’t care for his power or status, but cares for his terrible jokes and interests.

“toru?” you asked, pulling him out of his daze and back to reality.

“sorry” he smiles sheepishly before shaking his head ‘no,’ a look in his eyes you can’t quite place.

satoru finally finds himself with titles that mean something to him. titles that he cherishes and holds close to his heart.

Gojo Satoru, who eats anything and everything that was sweet, claiming they’re no match for the sweet taste of your lips.

Gojo Satoru, who had an insane secret obsession with romcoms. an obsession you were sure was just to get you to cuddle him until you found him up at 3 am watching a terrible hallmark movie all on his own.

Gojo Satoru, who couldn’t stand when you were mad at him, going to drastic measures for you to forgive him.

Gojo Satoru, who considered himself lucky enough to hold the title of your boyfriend, your confidant and your favorite sorcerer.

[the-record]

COWBOYS LIKE YOU

SYNOPSIS: you should stop letting her through that door

PAIRING: cowboy!abby x reader

WARNINGS: a touch of homophobia

A/N: this isnt great, and makes me sad, but i like it!! trying to be a little less dialogue focused

my masterlist

“do you have to go?” your voice is soft as abby lets the question linger in the air. “i hate it when you leave. its lonely.”

her fingers slide carefully up and down your arm and she sighs. “im sorry angel.” abby wraps her arms around you and pulls tight, trying to get you as close as possible. “you know it ain’t safe for us out there though.”

you knew she was right, seen first hand just what people think about sappho and her friends. felt the rage and anger that came when two women who just loved each other.

these nights with her were nice. the sun still going down and the heat with it. crickets started their song and birds finishing theirs. you had pulled the sheets up halfway when it cooled, the sweat on yalls skin disappearing with the breeze.

abbys nails were kept short always, but theyd begin to grow out and were gently scratching at your skin. her hair had finally grown out again and you twisted it around your fingers.

when you’d found her that night, you had to bring her back. clean up her hair, her wounds, her clothes. you couldnt leave a sweet thing like her out in the cold to die. or the boy that was with her. you never did see him again, but it meant more time just you and her.

“i can stay one more day. but then i ought to get back on.” she pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead. “you get some rest now, let me make us somethin’ warm and good for dinner.” you whine as she untangles herself from you, but only laughs before leaving the room.

you don’t remember when you nodded off, but you do remember waking up to something smelling good. she stumbled in with a tray full of plates and cups. she smiled when she saw you sit up.

“well good mornin’ sunshine.” you rolled your eyes as abby settled in beside you. “now, no more of that attitude, not when i made you somethin’ nice.”

you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “now i know good and well that you, abby anderson, are not talking.” she returned the eye roll, albeit not very well. “now what is on my menu tonight mrs anderson?”

abby always left without warning, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. but you always managed to make a move on from her, prepared with the fact that she may never be back for you.

you tended to the farm, your cows. made breakfast and dinner each and every day, sweet tea and lemonade for the hot afternoons. you did afternoon tea in the ladies parlor on saturdays and church on sundays. you kept on the way you always did, never missing a beat.

until a fateful cool evening when someone came knocking on your screen, scaring you half to death as you stirred beside the stove. you sighed as you made your way to the door, wiping your hands on the apron you had on.

you nearly tripped over your own feet seeing abby at your door. took everything in you not to rush and pull her in.

she was different than when you last saw her. new clothes, hair in a loose braid, cuts and blood all over. but you didn’t yet even open the door, she had much to say first.

“before i even start, know how sorry i am. know i didnt mean for it to be this long.” she winced as she leaned on her other leg. “i wanted to come, truly i did, but ive been running all over hell’s half acre. i had business.”

you huffed, pulling the door open and taking her with you to the kitchen. “im so sorry angel, please talk to me.” you sat her down on a stool before heading back to your dinner. “what do i need to do to make it all better?”

she quieted down when you didnt respond, watching you cook. she always loved watching you do household things. made her feel right at home again.

she smiled when you sat her bowl down infront of her, stopping and staring with a frown. she wanted to tell you how pretty you were but held off, you scared her quiet a bit. her hands moved to your hips but you slapped them away and grabbed the wet rag she hadnt noticed.

“eat your damn food.” she slowly spooned the meal into her mouth as you wiped at the old cuts on her face. she winced and pulled away but you pulled back. “stop movin’ when im tryna fix you up.” she nodded as softly as possible.

when you finished, you took the rag and half finished plate with you, pulling the fork from abbys mouth. “go wash up, you will not be dirty in my house.” she nodded, though you weren’t looking, and left to the bathroom.

the plate sat on the counter as you heard her harsh steps up your stairs. you held your head in your hands and took a shaky breath.

you didnt expect her to come back. figured it was final this time. and you certainly didnt expect her at your door like that. you had to pull it together though, couldnt let her see you like this.

you washed up and wiped the kitched till it was spotless before heading upstairs to abby. she was still sitting tending to her wounds when you found her. “you’re doing it wrong.” she dropped what she was doing and slouched. “let me.”

you were gentle with your touch, knowing it was always what she needed. she lived such a hard life that sometimes she needed a gentle touch, some loving. “what in the god damn world did you get yourself into this time?” abby sniffed and you looked up for the first time.

“i hate going out there. i dont wanna anymore.” you hushed her, pulled her close. “can i stay?”

“you can do whatever you want.” you kissed her face, running your fingers through her hair. “im here no matter what you decide.” she nodded and squeezed your hand. “now let me fix up these stitches. you have no idea what your doing. bless your heart.” she laughed softly and you copied. “seriously though, sit still for me.”

“im sorry i always leave.”

it was a quiet night. crickets too tired to so much as hum, and the cow sleeping to forget the chill of the dark. the house had a chill but you and abby huddled to ignore it. it was peaceful. you missed this peace.

you hummed in response, leaning on her chest to see her face. “so don’t.” but she said nothing. did nothing. “abby…”

she shook her head. “im sorry.”

[frogchiro]

okay wait why am i now just hearing about butcher/slasher ghost, and why am i foaming at the mouth!!!???! like ripping apart pillows, tearing down walls, doing flips—RAHHH i am officially OBSESSED!!

i read it and thought of texas chainsaw massacre, but it’s the 2006 one so like simon is an absolute menace but he sees a pretty lady who’s new to town and his cold killer heart just can’t help but swoon :((( and she’s so polite, nervous, and timid because it’s so different in this town and simon with his cursed blessed keen sense of smell

OH MY GOD BUT SLASHER GRAVES IN A SMALL TOWN DOWN IN TEXAS!!!?

so sorry if this is a lot!! 😣 i’m just a little obsessed 🤭🤭 either way, have an amazing day!! stay hydrated and make sure to eat 🩷🩷

HOW THE FUCK DID I NEVER THINK OF SLASHER GRAVES

My dear, I know that you probably expected Butcher!Ghost but I'm highjacking this ask now and writing slasher Graves because oh my god-

The setting I imagine to be in a small southern town in Texas, and I imagine it to be like one of those creepy, small southern gothic towns with the old abandoned churches, houses and old beaten up signs that say "His return is near" or "God is watching you", you get the idea.

And there we have Philip Graves who owns a big ranch passed down for generations in his family, and by big I mean HUGE. Enormous pastures, corn fields, cows, horses, pigs and all that which means he and his name is quite well know in the area which admittedly makes his...hobby a lot easier than you'd think. Graves has friends in high places and he's buddy buddy with the town's sheriff, basically the golden child of the town which means that both the police and the sheriff will turn a blind eye to the "sudden disappearances" of people, be it locals or newcomers to town.

But the thing is that Philip Graves is bored. Bored out of his mind and nothing seems to excite him anymore, not even the desperate hysterical screams of his victims do the thing anymore. Sure he definitely has the money, the looks that refined well with age, he's respected and liked in the community but the truth is-he doesn't give a shit about it.

I imagine that Slasher!Graves is an incredibly arrogant man, and while he may put on a pleasant facade, his accent a thick and purring drawl and his southern charm do the trick he's a whimsical and capricious prick who gets easily bored and when he does...Well let's just say that it doesn't end pretty.

So imagine how surprised he was when he was in town once in his pickup truck, cowboy hat low on his brow as he watched the cars go by when suddenly his eyes were caught by a bus, one of those that travel for very long distances and the only person who got out was you. To say that Philip's interest was piqued would be an understatement; what's a pretty soft little thing like you doing in this bumfuck nowhere in Texas?

A pretty young lady, seemingly around 20, who looked like a lost little lamb, but just what were you doing here? Everything about you screamed that you're obviously not from here and while he could see even from a distance that you tried to act confident, his sharp blue eyes saw right through that act-you were scared shitless and more than lost. Were you here to visit someone? Or maybe...you are running from something? Whatever the case was, you definitely caught his attention in more than one way.

You just looked...so soft, so pretty, lovely he'd even say and I'm sorry but this Graves that we're talking about would definitely be a little misogynistic :(( He's old fashioned, maybe it comes with his age or maybe due to how his pa raised him but the further he observed you the more he he couldn't help but think about how such a pretty young lady like yourself should be married off already to a nice gentleman, getting provided for like you deserve and in return takin' care of your husband too; bringing him beer, cookin' and popping out a kid or two :((

His train of thoughts got interrupted only by a loud booming voice calling out his name cheerfully and when he turned around annoyed to see who was interrupting him, it turned out to be old Michael, an old friend of his pa. He greeted him politely but when he turned around to watch you a little more it turned out that you already wandered off, sneaky girl.

Philip cursed under his breath but on the other hand he decided to just ask the sheriff about you since he knows that the man has access to all the information about any newcomers to town. It looks like his bored streak came to an end <3

[mikimakiboo]

Your meat isn't dead, it's still moving

Hi :D I'm here for another fanfic for @ancha-aus :D

But this time it's for the Ghost & Medium AU !

This fic takes place after Dust met Killer and Cross, and it is now time to meet Horror !

Tw: mention of death, forced starvation, sect, Killer flirting

- Stopping for a little snack ?

Dust's passenger asked as he stopped his van in front of the butcher's shop. He didn't even look at him, knowing he would see Cross grinning at him, well, not Cross, his body yes, but Cross wasn't in his body anymore, Killer has possessed him when he was supposed to be exorcized, and now he followed Dust anywhere he went. Cross was there too though, his spirit sitting on the back of the van, clearly displeased by the whole situation. Ash, Dust's ghost brother, was next to him, squinting disapprovingly at Killer like he always did when he flirted with Dust.

- I'm here for work.

- Oooh can I-

- You can't come.

Dust cut him before he could ask. He heard Killer whine but he couldn't care less, he couldn't take him with him, judging by what the butcher said the ghost haunting the shop wasn't a normal one, he couldn't risk bringing another inside without first making sure that it was safe, aside from his brother but he had a necklace to protect him, and even if it was a normal ghost he really didn't want Killer to bother him.

- You're not alone, you have Cross, talk to him.

He reassured the ghost.

- I don't want to talk to that body thief.

Cross said, still bitter about the whole possession thing. Dust could understand, he would be mad too if someone possessed him to go flirt with a random guy.

- You both stay here.

He commanded as he grabbed all the material he needed to communicate with the ghost, closed the van and went to the shop, Ash following him.

From what the butcher said over the phone this ghost had been haunting his shop for about two months now, they would throw the packages off the counter, slam the walk-in fridges' doors, detach the pigs' and cows' pieces from the hooks and generally just throw food around. Nothing weird so far, just a regular poltergeist, but what seemed off to Dust was that the shop had been there for years and it was the first time something like that happened, and no one had died in or near the shop these past few month, so that meant the spirit came to haunt this particular place, just like Killer did with the last house he was in, and seeing how it turned out, Dust wanted to be extra careful with this one.

The butcher was in front of the door, waiting to greet Dust.

- Ah ! You're here, perfect ! I hope you can do something about this.. haunting thing, I'm starting to lose customers and I can't afford to lose my business.

Dust saluted him with a nod.

- I will do everything I can.

- I don't doubt it. The keys are on the door, you do your things, I have a delivery to make so you can just leave them in the mailbox once you're done.

Dust nodded again, watching the butcher get in his own truck before sighing.

- Alright, let's see who's inside..

- IF IT FLIRTS LIKE THE OTHER ONE I AM LEAVING THIS PLACE.

Ash commented.

- I hope not, Killer's annoying enough I don't need a second one.

He pushed the door open, closing it behind him. The shop was dark, the curtains were down, indicating it was closed for the day. There was still enough light to navigate though and Dust went directly behind the counter in the staff area, as it was where there was the most activity.

- Hello ? I came here to talk, if you're okay with that.

He choose a table to put his radio and ouija board, looking around, there were pieces of meat everywhere, some scattered on the floor, it looked like an animal came to make a mess before leaving. He didn't see anyone. Maybe this spirit wasn't that strong ?

- IT DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN APPARENTLY.

- Ash, please, don't be rude.

Ash huffed but didn't add anything, letting his brother do his job.

- Are you in here ? I heard you liked throwing pieces of meat on the ground, if I put one on the table, could you make it move so I know you're here ?

He asked, but the radio stayed silent and the ouija didn't move.

- I'm going to put his steak on the table, okay ?

He bent down, reaching for a steak that was already on the ground. Just as he grabbed it he thought he saw a glimpse of red but it was gone when he looked up. He slowly stood up, put the steak on the table, and waited for it to move.

He didn't wait long, just as he backed up the steak flew across the room and hit the wall before falling on the ground once again. Dust saw a vague silhouette in front of him, a tall and large one, but he couldn't see much more for now. Dust smiled.

- Hello. My name is Dust, glad to know you're here. If it's okay with you, would you mind telling me your name ?

The silhouette shifted, and Dust saw a bright red eyelight staring directly at him, before disappearing. In the distance, he heard a door shut, probably a fridge as he heard the noise of hooks being moved.

- YOU SCARED IT.

Dust frowned, but ignored his brother. He grabbed his radio and board and went to the fridge, knocking on the door to announce his presence.

- I'm gonna come in, okay ? I just want to talk, I'm not here to hurt you or take your food.

He said, assuming that the spirit's obsession over the meat meant they felt like it was theirs. He pushed the door open, shivering at the change of temperature, and closed it again. He could see the silhouette, this time a little more clearly, sitting in one of the corners of the fridge, all curled up. Dust stopped in the middle of the room to leave space for the ghost, sitting down, he put his material in front of him.

- Hey, sorry if I scared you, I didn't mean to.

The ghost didn't move, but they were staring at him. They looked like a male skeleton monster, with one glowing red eyelight and what seemed to be a hole in their skull, which was most likely the cause of their death as no-one could survive such an injury. But why were they haunting a butcher's shop then ? They were dressed with a big coat, some thicc sweatpants and winter boots.

- Would you mind telling me your name and pronouns so I can know how to address you ? You can use either the radio or the board.

The ghost stayed silent for a little while before muttering something, not using either instrument.

- Horror... I'm a man...

He had a deep raspy voice. Dust tilted his head, he didn't expect this spirit to be powerful enough to speak without help.

- Hello Horror, I'm going to ask you some questions, okay ?

He told him. Horror didn't respond, but he didn't flee either, so Dust took it as a sign he was okay with that.

- What are you doing in such a place ? Did something happen here ?

- There's... food...

Horror answered slowly, searching for the right words. Dust let him speak at his own speed, judging by his injury he probably had trouble speaking, no need to rush him.

- Are you here for the food ?

He asked. Horror nodded.

- I'm hungry...

Dust frowned. Hungry ? Spirits couldn't get hungry, they didn't have any body to feed, Dust should know, he had a ghost brother and Killer almost panicked when he heard his, well, Cross's, stomach gurgle.

- Do you feel hungry ? Or do you remember feeling hungry ?

He asked. Maybe this spirit had been hungry before he died and this feeling made him haunt the shop ?

Horror looked down, thinking about what the medium said. Was he hungry ? He couldn't feel his stomach, it didn't hurt anymore either. Was it because he wasn't hungry ? Or because he became so used to hunger that he couldn't feel it anymore ? He had been hungry all of his life, he knew what it felt like, he had felt it so strongly when he was there, in this dark room, but he didn't feel it now... he didn't feel anything... his head didn't hurt... was he... was he dead... ? Was that what death felt like... ? Was it why he couldn't eat... ?

- Heyyyyy Dusty ! Ya missed me ? Of course ya missed me ! Oh ! Who's that with you ?

An excited voice yelled, followed by another, less excited, voice.

- I tried to stop him ! I swear I did but he wouldn't listen !

Dust let out a loud sigh, not even needing to turn around to see that Killer was behind him with Cross.

- I told you to stay in the car.

- Yeah I know but then I thought you might be in danger, so I came to the rescue !

Killer argued, feeling very proud of himself.

- I am not in danger, Killer.

- Yeah yeah anyway, who's the newbie ?

It was no surprise that Killer could see Horror, as he was a spirit too, and Cross had gained this ability too since he wasn't in his body anymore and had entered the spirit realm.

- He.. doesn't look okay...

Cross noticed, seeing how Horror was still looking at the ground, his arms around his knees, not paying attention to Killer who was now very close to him, crounching down.

- I DO WONDER WHY.

Ash sarcastically said, squinting at Killer.

- You invaded his space without his consent.

- Well first of all it's Killer's fault, and second of all he really doesn't look good, and not just because we're here...

- What do you mean he doesn't look good ? He looks fine as hell. ~

Killer said with that particular tone of voice that always made Ash gag.

- Now's not the time for that, Killer.

Dust sighed again, sometimes he really regretted accepting going to Killer's house, he couldn't even do his job properly now !

- You're new here, huh ?

Killer asked, ignoring Dust. Horror looked up at him, only now realizing that two more persons were here.

- What killed ya ?

- Killer.

Dust got up, ready to grab Killer by the hood to drag him outside if he continued to mess with his work. The only thing stopping him from doing so was when he heard Horror answer.

- ... Hunger... I... died of hunger... I think...

He seemed so unsure that Dust's anger almost vanished. This ghost didn't know he was dead, it was obvious now, he wasn't here to scare people, he was here because he died hungry and wanted to eat, not realizing he didn't need to anymore.

- Ah yes, hunger, I know how it feels.

Killer confessed with a serious tone that almost caught Dust off guard.

- But it's okay, you won't get hungry anymore now, you're free ! You can do anything you want and go anywhere you want !

Horror blinked, still slowly processing the new information.

- I don't know... anywhere else to go...

- Aww come on, don't you got a dream destination ? Somewhere you really want to visit ?

Dust searched through his pockets to find his notebook, wanting to take notes on the conversation as Killer was surprisingly getting better results than he did.

Horror shook his head.

- Couldn't go out... needed to stay.. inside the walls... our leader said... outside was unworthy of.. of our presence...

- THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SECT.

Ash commented, and even if Dust would have preferred him to be less direct, he was right, that sounded like a sect. Was Horror in a sect before ? Did he die of hunger because they starved him on purpose ? Or did he go outside those "walls" and couldn't provide for himself ? Was it how he got hurt ?

- I know it must be hard for you, but would you mind telling us more about your.. your leader and the walls ?

Dust asked, trying not to jump to conclusions by calling it a sect, even though it clearly was.

- The walls.. protected us... Undyne was chosen by the gods... she decided who was worthy... and who was not...

- Worthy of what ?

Killer asked before Dust could.

- Food...

Dust frowned, that explained his choice in the place to haunt.

- Did she say you were unworthy ?

Dust asked softly, talking about death could be traumatizing and his goal wasn't to scare Horror, it was to understand his life, and death, better in order to help him rest, but he needed to ask questions for that.

Horror nodded after thinking for a minute.

- She didn't like... that I questioned her way... she said it was a shame... I had been worthy all my life...

- What made that change ?

Horror shriveled down a little bit more on himself.

- My brother... wasn't worthy...

No one responded to that as they could all imagine what happened. Horror continued.

- We had a room... for the unworthy... couldn't have food when... when inside... couldn't go out...

Dust looked up from his notes. They starved them. They starved Horror's brother and then they starved Horror, and he died of hunger.

- That must have been horrible, I'm sorry it happened to you...

Horror looked up at him.

- But Killer is right.

It pained him to say that, and it pained him even more to see Killer's smug expression.

- You are free now, you don't have to stay here.

- Can... go with you... ? Don't want... to be alone...

- Wh-

- Oh my God of course you can ! The more the merrier come on ! We'll have such a good time together !

Killer responded with excitement before Dust could even say anything.

Horror looked at Killer for a second before smiling hesitantly, quite relieved, and finally getting up as Killer already stood up. He was... tall. Like, very tall. But that didn't stop Killer from smiling brightly.

And then Dust felt it. He felt a link forming, a thread connected to his soul, the thread that formed between a spirit and the place, or person in this case, they haunted. The third thread, not counting Cross as he was still connected to his own body.

His third ghost.

He came here to exorcize the place, and instead gained another ghost.

Well... at least the butcher would be happy.

...

Where was Dust going to find enough place for everyone ? Why did it have to happen to him ?

He already felt a headache coming. God, he really regretted meeting Killer.

[ko-existing]

You are the only person so far who seems to know what you’re talking and is well studied so I decided to sent this ask for you. It will have a little venting, but nothing too extreme or long also if you don’t mind I’d rather speak in a not non duality way because I wouldn’t know how to formulate my sentences without giving power to the physical world in a sense, and I’m not exactly looking for enlightenment in non dualism it’s just a question about this whole thing that has been going on on tumblr and other communities about manifestation and non dualism.

I’ve been on this journey of manifestation, law of assumption, non duality etc etc for a year now and the main thing that kept popping up in my head was “is this concept true?”

The concept that I’m talking about is: “we are the creators of our reality”

Honestly, this journey has brought me a lot of suffer because I’m a natural overthinker, skeptical, a tad pessimistic and extremely self judging. So I would often feel dumb and stupid for believing I could actually change my WHOLE life and manifest things that would be seem as actually absurd and impossible.

This experience of seeing so many times people saying “we are limitless” or “everything is malleable” “you can get anything you want” has dragged me into this rabbit whole of full peace of mind and hope and then being totally ripped apart by negativity, pessimism and skepticism.

I’m honestly tired and I really, really, really need to get out of it, so you are my hope of weather I should continue my journey to get a better life or finally have a closure on this whole world of manifestation, shifting realities etc

Is it really possible? I’m asking this with my whole heart and soul. It is possible to experience this reality shiftings, changes of physical appearance, revise past and all that?

I really need to put an end on my suffering and move on with my life and I rather know the final answer now instead of wasting my life on things that won’t happen and just end up more frustrated in the future.

Can we change our 3D world (I know you said there’s no separation, but as I said I can’t speak in a non duality way I’m sorry) or we just have to accept we can only control to a certain point?

Is it true that if I’m not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won’t? That no matter how hard I try I could never “attract” a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?

I’m sorry if this ask is heavy or if my words were harsh somehow. I don’t want to put a responsibility on your shoulder, I just really need to find peace and I need a final answer.

Thank you!

Here's the thing Anon: No one can help you but yourself. As harsh as it sounds, IT is what IT is, i'm not sugarcoating anything, it's a bit long and wordy so read carefully.

In tibet we have these sayings:

1. "You can offer a handful of grass to the cow, but you can't force it to graze."

2. "You can present the scriptures, but you can't enlighten the mind."

Even though i tag my stuff with "#nondualism" and a lot of people associate me with it, i don't follow any concept in particular. I only point you into the direction of "THAT". What you do with it, is your choice. You said you've been on a "journey" with lots of concepts like LoA, Manifestation, ND. Ask yourself, what exactly has been keeping you from actually turning within into silence instead of gathering one concept after another? Who decides that something is "impossible" and "absurd" like you said? I know you already told me that you'll talk in concepts but i still have to ask, are the limitations you have set for yourself REALLY fundamentally a thing? Do they exist if you aren't aware of such limitations?

Emptiness

NO concept is true, untrue or real. No words are true, untrue or real. I could tell you "no, Non Dualism or "AWARENESS" is not true. You can't change your life" but that's going to have a negative impact on you, wouldn't it? Why is that so? Those words don't prove anything to you. They are just words.

EVERY word is empty by nature, we give meaning to them. If i told you "བདག དངབ བསམ ངས་ཡང་ཡིན་གསལ" could you do anything with that sentence? No, because that sentence has no meaning to you.. you don't speak the language. Whatever I said, is meaningless to you. But if I translated it in english, you would be able to understand because you speak english and give it meaning (-> what was once meaningless and empty, now has an illusory meaning given by you). Got it?

What I'm trying to say is that it is important to understand that words have no meaning whatsoever BY NATURE and because they are meaningless BY NATURE, we can tell you whatever we want to, it is up to you alone what you're going to do with that. Does that make any sense to you? I hope i got my point across on how we give meanings to every empty word.

We do the same thing with different situations.

A stormy day can be the worst day ever for you but for someone else, it's the best thing ever.

If someone told me my content is trash, i do not care. If someone told 18 year old Koda her content is trash, i would've wasted a thought or two on that statement. If Dechen (my boyfriend, co-admin) read that we're spreading lies he would've written an essay telling that person to shut up & move along 2 years ago, but now he'd ignore it because he couldn't care any less. Now, everything is meaningless for everyone. I can decide if I want to be affected by those words, or not. If i told you "Everything's a lie" , what are you going to do then? Are you going to abandon everything just because I, someone you find "reliable", said so? If that's what you would do, why? What made you attach so much importance to a random "person"?

Is it true?

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

Who are you asking? Me? Why? Do you want it to be true or untrue? Since all words are meaningless and empty by nature, is there a difference between the words "true and untrue" or is it the same "Emptiness"? You alone make your decisions. I can point you towards "IT" but 'you' are the one who's going to recognize "IT" or not. I have nothing to do with that descision.

Read whatever you want to. Practise whatever you want to or don't. At the end of the day, you alone give meaning to the meaningless. You can define emptiness but that doesn't change its Nature which is "emptiness", "nothingness" whatever-ness.

Definitions

"I'm an overthinker, skeptical and pessimistic."

What made you come to that conclusion? In order to answer that, i assume you have to think and list all moments in which you were overthinking, skeptical and pessimistic but are you able to answer that question without thinking? If you aren't thinking, WHAT or WHO are you? Are those thoughts you define yourself by, real in any way or are you just aware of different behaviors and define them as "overthinking, skepticism, pessimism" after thinking about it? Could you define yourself for me, without thinking? Try it.👀

Enlightenment?

You said you are not "looking for enlightenment" from ND , what exactly are you looking for then? Only a "person" can get enlightened, but there is no actual "person" here. What is, is. All concepts only POINT you to one direction -> "IT". Some, like advaita vedanta, are more direct than many limited & watered down versions of ND people now call "Law of Consciousness or Law of Assumption "with extra steps" on tumblr or twitter. In my humble and illusory opinion, it is nonsense but does it matter?👁️

The non-existent "I"

"Is it true that if I'm not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won't? That no matter how hard I try I could never "attract" a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?" -> define and show me the "i" you keep talking about. Do it without thinking. If you ponder on it long enough on a deep level, you will instantly answer your own Questions and the "i" you are talking about. Define and show me your doubts without thinking. There is no person to believe in anything, no person that is actually doubting, no person that is actually here.

「You can mold clay into a pot but that doesn't change the fact that it is clay and will always be clay」

[a-aexotic]

✫𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆, i can see you.

✫ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 cursing, mention of partying, lecturting, sarcasm ✫ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 hey guys! i hope you enjoyed the prologue. please show your love by liking and/or reblonging, they are very much appreciated. i am so beyond excited for this series and hopefully i meet my deadline lol. everything will be complete as of october 1st, 2023! ✫ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (send an ask or comment to be added!) main masterlist. gilmore girls masterlist. playlist.

Manhattan was the type of city where you either love it, or hate. There is no in-between and depending on if you love or hate it, describes who you are as a person.

Y/N Cromwell loved Manhattan. She was as classy and sophisticated as they come, she doesn't own anything that wasn't designer or specially made for her. I mean, if you lived like that, you would sure as hell love it as well.

Y/N lived her life to the fullest, taking YOLO a little too seriously. Her mother, Nancy Cromwell, is a world-renowned fashion designer and she is never home. And when she is home, she is usually tucked in her office, away from the world and her daughter. But, she learned to adapt without her mother and she was slightly okay with her not being around as much as she used to.

Filling her closet with expensive purses and even more expensive perfumes, she lived like royalty. Her mother never set financial boundaries for her, so she spent as much as she wanted. She usually got away with everything. Key-word being, usually.

Y/N sat at the edge of her huge bed, tuning out the lecture she was getting from her mother. She tried to listen and nod but it wasn't an easy task to do for more than 5 minutes.

"—an irresponsible girl! I am tired of it, Y/N. Always going out with those girls, not playing attention in class or-"

That was where she stopped and corrected her. "I do play attention mom, how else would I have a 4.0?"

Her mom stopped her lecture and sighed, rubbing her temple frustratedly. "Is that the only thing you got from my whole talk?"

She sat up with a bright grin. "Well I'm not gonna let you sit here and lecture me about something that I hadn't done. I do pay attention."

"This isn't about school-"

"Then don't bring it up." Y/N said simply, smiling at her mother's vexed expression.

"Listen, Y/N, one more mess-up and you're done I'll send you to live with your father in Connecticut."

Y/N had no reaction whatsoever to the meaningless threat. Her mother always throwing that threat left and right, there was no way she'd actually go through with it.

Y/N feigned understanding and her mother sighed with a nod. "Got it, young lady?"

"Got it, ma'am." She mocked slightly before her mom finally gave up, walking out of her room. That was when Y/N finally let out an agitated groan, before taking out her flip-phone and clicked her friend's contact.

It rang before it finally picked up. "Hey, honey!"

"Are we going to Daniel's party or what?"

"I thought you were grounded, Y/N/N."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "That's not stopping me, Lindsay. We going or what?"

The black Prada glasses and sour expression sitting on Y/N's expression was very telling. She was either hungover or high right now—but unfortunately for her, she was neither at the moment. She was sitting in Hartford Airport waiting for her father's, now late, arrival.

Her mother's words kept replaying in her head. "One mistake in Connecticut and I'm sending you the Netherlands. And no, not the cities—the countryside." That alone sent shivers down her spine, having to live without electricity and texting. How can anything be worse than that?

Y/N had to get her act up. If she didn't, she would have to live among cows and pigs. She decided she was going to try her best to sell the 'good girl' act to everyone, whether they believed it or not.

She finally sees a familar face walking up to her. She let out one last annoyed groan silently before getting up and putting on her best smile. "Daddy!"

Her father immediately grinned, opening up his arms to give his finest bear hugs. "Sweetheart, how've you been?" He immediately paused. "That's, uh not a good question. Nevermind. How are you dealing with everything?"

He knew how dramatic his daughter could be. She loved New York and getting sent away would surely spark some anger in her and he did not want to be on the receiving end of it.

Y/N slid up her sunglasses to face her father. "I'm doing well. I think this is good." God, this sounded unnatural and wrong. She wasn't happy and she sure has hell doesn't think this will be any good for her. "To be away from the City will some good for me, being around my old... friends will surely make me feel better."

Her father looked surprised at her somewhat mature response. "Wow, well I'm glad that's how you're viewing this experience. Good for you, Y/N. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, dad. I really am trying, I'm glad you see that." Another lie. She almost felt bad for deceiving her father.

Well, that was until she got home. As they pulled in the house—it was exactly how they left it. Her father usually spends the summers with her in Manhattan so she hasn't seen this house in almost two years. It brought back so many memories. But she couldn't sit on the nostalgia because it quickly flooded away as she was struck with confusion. There was a slightly familiar woman standing outside the home, waiting for their arrival.

"Who's that?" Y/N sat up a little straighter in the passenger seat, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, uh honey I've been waiting for a right time to tell you this..." Her father swiftly put the car parked in driveway, turning face to face with Y/N. "I'm—well, we... we're engaged."

"Who’s we?" I asked I look outside the window to the mysterious woman standing on the porch.

Her father paused as his expression changed from excited to slightly agitated. "Your mom hadn't mentioned me dating Kristian?"

"You hadn't mentioned it either." You swallowed nervously. Her father was dating (and now engaged) to someone she'd never heard about from neither of them. She felt a little dread because she suddenly felt out of the loop.

Her father sighed. "Let's talk inside, honey."

Her father got her luggage and the lady greeted her politely and she did the same. At this point the only facts she knew was A. her name was Kristan, B. she looks a little familiar, and C. she's blonde.

As her father put her stuff back up in her old bedroom, they both sat in the living room awkwardly waiting for her father's arrival. He finally walked down the stairs and sat next to Kristan, putting an arm over her shoulder. Wow, he's really serious about her.

"So..." Y/N started the conversation. "You're engaged."

He cleared his throat. "Me and Kristan have been engaged about two months now and we've been dating a year and a half." And he somehow failed to mention anyone when he called or visited.

Y/N kept her slight disappointment to a minimum as she nodded politely. He seemed genuine about her and she knew she'd be an even more terrible daughter if she started a fit. He was happy and that's all that matters... at least that was what she was trying to convince herself.

Y/N got up from the couch and cleared her throat, putting on her pageant queen smile. "I'm, uh Y/N Cromwell."

Kristan laughed softly before doing the same while extending a hand. "I know that, sweetie. I'm Kristan Dugray, pleased to meet you."

Dugray... Dugray... Where had she heard that name before? Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as she thought until her question was finally answered.

The front door opened suddenly and she whipped her head to make eye contact with... Tristan Dugray? Oh, so that's where she's heard that name!

Y/N couldn't control as her mouth flew open. She also couldn't control the words that came out of her mouth as she saw him. "Oh, you've gotta be shitting me."

[georgeclarkewifey]

Inconvenience | g. clarke

Chapter 5 - The Bach and Arthur Podcast

Summary: Noa spills all in an eventful episode of her favourite podcast

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: swearing (I think that’s all of them? lmk if you think there should be more xxx)

noamurphy

liked by arthurtv, italianbach and 18,938 others

noamurphy Issac wouldn’t smile for the photo :(

but hey, catch me on the Bach and Arthur podcast where I talk about literally anything and everything (sorry Chris)

Comments open

italianbach i look so cool

chrismd10 what do you mean sorry Chris??

⮑ noamurphy guess you’ll have to watch and find out ;)

⮑ chrismd10 Noa…

⮑ noamurphy Christopher…

arthurtv best episode yet id say

⮑ noamurphy yeah bc I was there

⮑ maxbalegde useless hotline when??

⮑ noamurphy 👀

⮑ fan NOA WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????

fan1 the silence from George is LOUD

⮑ fan2 yes!!! Bc why is the entire uk yt scene following her except for him???

⮑ fan3 speculation 👏 means 👏 nothing 👏

⮑ noamurphy fan3 speaking facts

gkbarry_ everyone prepared to get jealous bc I’m meeting her tomorrow

⮑ noamurphy giggling and kicking my feet like a child

⮑ arthurhill can confirm this

⮑ taliamar can I come 🥺👉👈

⮑ gkbarry_ noamurphy odds on making it a London girlies meet up?

⮑ noamurphy let’s do it x

⮑ gkbarry_ freyanightingale consider yourself invited

⮑fan4 this meet up is going to be legendary

“Welcome back to the Bach and Arthur Podcast, where we have a very special guest, please welcome the very cool Noa Murphy!” Arthur introduced, grinning as Noa moved onto the set.

She sat opposite Arthur and Issac, relaxing into the plush sofa. “Hello hello, thanks for having me.”

“You’re very welcome, to be honest I’ve wanted you to come on ever since you moved.” Arthur said.

“What can I say, I’ve got some great stories to tell of our childhood in Jersey.”

“Please tell me you have embarrassing child Arthur stories.” Isaac begged, adjusting the microphone in front of him.

“Oh of course I do.” She replied, grinning mischievously at Arthur, who closed his eyes.

“How am I regretting having you on already?” Arthur asked.

“Maybe you should give yourself a small introduction, so those who are watching who may not know who you are?” Isaac suggested.

Noa nodded, and waved at the camera. “Hi! I’m Noa, I grew up in Jersey with Arthur, and the even more famous Chrismd, and I’m currently working as an architect.”

“God you’re instantly cooler than all of us.” Isaac replied, glancing at Arthur and shaking his head.

“I mean I’ve got a law degree-“

“But you’re not an actual lawyer.”

“But I trained-“

“But you quit two months in.”

Arthur sighed. “Fine.”

“So, growing up in Jersey? What was it like?”

Noa smiled fondly, leaning back in the chair. “Even though it was small, I did really enjoy my childhood ya know? There’s been times where I’ve thought I was a bit hard done by, like missing out on being near London, and all the cool stuff there, but at the same time, as a kid who was fond of the outdoors, being able to run around in fields for hours on end was really good for me.”

“All fine until you encounter a bull.” Arthur added, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“I’m sensing a story…” Isaac said, leaning closer to the mic with a smile.

Noa rolled her eyes playfully and looked at Arthur. “Shall I tell the story or do you want to?”

“You’re the guest, all yours.”

Swiping a few stray hairs away from her eyes, Noa smiled fondly and set about telling the story. “So, next to the roads where Arthur, Chris and I lived, there were loads of farmers fields - some had crops in, but the majority of them were grazing pastures for cows.”

“Jersey cows, one of the main things we’re known for.”

“Exactly. And so as kids, we’d run around these fields whenever they were empty, which would be a couple of weeks to a month on rotation. The farmer knew we did this, he didn’t really care so long as we weren’t in with the cows.” Noa said, exchanging knowing smiles with Arthur.

“So one summer, I think I was about 12? So Arthur and Chris were 15,16 maybe, and we’re running around these as we do, with the other kids in the neighbourhood. And it’s getting late, so before we go home, what we would do is we’d go up to the fence within the field, to try and feed the cows, Arthur even had a favourite.”

“He what?”

“Oh my god, Moovis! How could I forget about her!”

“You named a cow, Moovis?” Isaac asked, slowly turning to look at Arthur.

He shrugged. “She was cute, and she liked me, so I thought why not?”

“So we went up to this fence as usual, but for some reason the herd wasn’t in the adjacent field, which we all thought was weird, so we decided to investigate.”

“Hindsight shows that we should never have done that.”

“So we all climb over into this field, and start exploring. I think we got about halfway across when we realised why there weren’t any cows in that field.”

“I’m really scared about what’s going to happen next.”

“There were bulls. No cows because there were about five bulls in the field.”

“Honestly, it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.” Arthur insisted, nodding furiously. “The fear that went through me was insane. I think I’m still apprehensive to go in fields with cows now after this.”

“So we then have to get out, but we’re trying to creep backwards in the hope that they haven’t seen us, and that we can escape without dying.”

“I’m guessing that something went wrong?” Isaac asked.

“So as we’re backing it towards the fence, this fucking massive bull spots Chris, who’s wearing his bright red Arsenal shirt, and does the normal thing and starts charging. Which prompts the rest of them to start charging us. So, we are all scared to death, sprinting for our lives - I’m pretty sure Kelly, Chris’ sister and Chris were both holding my hands and dragging me along, because eleven year old me could hardly keep up.”

“That sounds deeply traumatic.”

“Trust me, it was.” Arthur said, looking a little pale.

“Then as we get to the fence, I reckon they were about ten metres behind, so we throw ourselves over, and as we tumble over, poor Chris landed headfirst into a cowpat.”

Isaac’s jaw dropped, and slowly formed into a grin as he looked between Noa and Arthur. “You’re kidding.”

“She isn’t.” Arthur confirmed, biting his lip in an attempt to grin too much. “He then started screaming about how he had cow shit in his hair and all over his face.”

“So we did the sympathetic thing and laughed at him, because we were all so high on adrenaline and were just happy to be alive.”

“That might just be the best story that’s been told on the podcast yet.”

“I think I have to agree, poor little ChrisMD.”

“He complained the entire way back, and then to make it even better, we had to hose him down, because his mum didn’t want him coming inside with shit covered hair.” Noa added, grinning. “He stank for a couple of days though, he had to play Sunday league smelling like a cow’s arse.”

————————————•————————————

“So, Noa - the question everyone wants us to ask, are you ever going to do content creation?” Isaac asked, glancing over to Noa, who was happily curled up in the chair, cupping a fresh mug of hot chocolate.

She sighed. “It’s a complicated thing - I’ve obviously got my regular job, to which I am very happy in - my project is going well, which is always a plus.”

“For those who don’t know Noa is a really cool architect.”

“Arthur is exaggerating, I’ve just started at my dream firm and this is my first proper project.”

“But you’ve got a Masters degree, yeah?”

Noa nodded, rolling her eyes at Arthur. “Yes. Distinction in Modern Architecture with a Special Specialisation in Greco-Roman Architecture, is the full title I believe.”

“And it’s from Cambridge.”

“And that.”

“So, vlogging, TikTok? Are we going to see you there in the future?” Isaac questioned, trying to steer the conversation back onto the right track.”

“Right, yeah. I have considered it definitely, seeing as nearly everyone I know is a creator. But I’ve really considered the pros and cons, the biggest factor being that I don’t know how to edit, and I don’t really have it in my budget right now to pay an editor.”

“But if you found something that you were good at would you?” Arthur pressed, exchanging a glance with Isaac. “Because we must admit, we both think you’d make really good kinda micro-vlogs, or just really minimalistic ones.”

“Yeah, like they’re only like, ten, fifteen minutes long and it’s just your entire week, and it’s just you doing your normal routine.”

Noa raised her eyebrows. “You guys genuinely think that people would watch that?”

“Hell yeah! Even if there’s hardly any voice over, and you kinda just have some gentle music over your soft footage almost?” Arthur suggested.

“I mean, I’ll consider it. If people would genuinely watch it then yeah, I would probably start doing something like that.”

“You’d want it to be manageable.”

“Oh for sure, because it’s got to come after my job, and I’d also feel a bit weird if I become that one coworker that does YouTube or TikTok.”

“I mean, that was me. And I was working at a law firm.” Arthur added, trying to convince Noa more.

“Well on that subject, how did you get into architecture? Was it something you were always into?”

Arthur gave Isaac a slightly panicked look - this wasn’t something they had planned to talk about. He glanced at Noa, who didn’t seem too phased about the question.

“I mean, kind of? It was my special interest as a kid, aside from other things, and it was always fostered whenever we’d go on family trips to literally anywhere, because I’d just be walking round a city staring at all the buildings. That’s also how I was nearly run over by a bike as a child.”

“Stepped into the road without looking?”

“Indeed I did. Always look where you’re going kids.” Noa said, pointing down the camera lens that was focused on her. “So yeah, when I was applying for uni I knew that it was what I wanted to do.”

“That’s pretty cool. Would you ever design a house for one of us? You know, if we paid you enough?” Isaac questioned jokingly, raising an eyebrow at her.

Noa huffed, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “Maybe? It would have to fit the style of what I enjoy designing, but maybe.”

“You hear that Sidemen? You want a new house, get Noa to design it.”

author speaks: hello! I’m back! Sorry for the break in updates, moving out of uni took a lot of my time, therefore hardly any time to write :(

but I’m back now, so we vibin 😎

[genevawrenn]

A little post about our beloved QSMP eggs and what they taught me.

Starting off with Chayanne, our little warrior. Your strength through agony was always something to be admired, your dedication to providing to your family through delicious food is something I will always remember. You fought so hard, little leader, I'll miss you always.

Lullah, lovely musician and stealer of hearts Lullah. You are such a bright star, you formed bonds of love and won over the harshest souls instantly. You taught love for both yourself and others, you gave us a deep and intriciate character we will always think of fondly.

Everyone who has followed me for a while knows the Death Family was probably the one I spoke about the most (besides Hideduo). They were always near each other which is something I will remember fondly. They had their troubles but they always talked them out. I'll miss you most.

Ramon, oh my sweet Ramon. You were a late addition to my attention, but I'm so glad I found you, even for the short time I did. Your dedication in protecting your siblings spoke beyond what words can say about your character. I will always remember your excitement and curiosity.

Richas; chaotic, excitable, hyper, and a dear wild child. You made everyone laugh with your antics, it was never a boring time from the moment we saw your cow head to the moment you sped off. You captured so much life and projected it to those you cared about, one of us forever.

Leo <3 My darling, my dear, I never spoke about you much but I love each and every time you came on screen. Your bright and loud personality is a delight, teaching many how wonderful it is to be exactly you. I've heard her admin is a streamer, you should go follow!

Sunny, oh my goodness Sunny. Another huge persona who taught me so much about loving myself and presenting exactly as me. I hope you know how many people you have touched by being you so perfectly. I can not picture any other parent than Tubbo for you, you are adorable together.

Empanada, our time together was too short, but I will forever treasure it. You played such a clever and observant character, very intune with others emotions and able to comfort anyone in their times of trouble. You made people think and learn, an incredible gift to everyone.

Pepito, oh my goodness with you, I think Richas met their rival with sheer energy and excitement.

My little BOLAS eggo, you swept in and easily made everyone want to protect you.

You teach many whimsy, kindness, and stepping out of your comfort zone. You make so many smile 😃

Dapper and Pomme...I can not even separate you in this post. I wasn't able to catch much content surrounding you but I always appreciated how much I saw both your influence in your siblings. Dapper, you always kept your dad on his toes. Pomme, I adore your capacity to love all.

Trump, Tilin, Juana, Bobby.

Time was tragically short together, barely a breath on the long cycle of emotions this story drove us through.

I can say with certainty you will never be forgotten, your influence touched many even if you were only with us for a matter of days. 💕

I unfortunately do not have any screenshots of Chunsik, a similar sentiment to the Egg Island three, as I don't feel we have enough time together, but I'll think of you fondly. I wish you had more time to wow us, I'm not even sure if we will see you again but I wish you the best.

I am a changed person after becoming interested in this content and this server, and that's a positive thing. I only feel sorrow because I love it so deeply. You inspired me to keep creating and connecting with new people. I'll miss what we had forever, thank you for everything.

[buckysgrace]

Awkward Encounters

Single dad!Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

Closer to My Heart Masterlist

CW: Fem receiving oral sex, light spitting, the word daddy is mentioned

Theo has a mishap with gum. Your night with Billy takes a bad turn.

Gum was not allowed in your classroom. Under no circumstances. It ended up everywhere. On the desks, in the toy bin, on the rugs and on backpacks. And in hair. And oh boy, was this a rather large wad of gum in his hair.

You had tried everything; gum, toothpaste, vinegar and ice cubes. Nothing was working. Poor Theo’s blonde locks remained stuck to the top of his head, making you wince every time you brushed through it.

“You done yet?” The toddler squeaked from in front of you, trying to glance back at you before you gently tilted his head in the right direction once again. He huffed, clearly bored from how long he’d been forced to sit in front of you. 

“No,” You sighed as you rubbed your wrist against your nose, careful not to touch your sticky fingers, “Theo, how did this happen?” You asked seriously, sighing as you tried to massage the gum out of his blonde strands. 

“I chew it,” He nodded his head as you continued to gently brush at the wad of gum, “And then I blew a bubble and this happen!” He replied dramatically as he popped his hands up towards his head. You frowned as you dropped your heads in defeat. 

“Uh huh,” You sighed, “Okay. I’m going to have to call your dad.” You told him softly, finally confirming that you wouldn’t be able to get it out of his hair. You breathed out deeply, worried about what Billy would say. 

“Am I in twouble?” He asked you worriedly, blue eyes wide with concern. You shook your head, sighing softly. You were pretty sure you would be the one in trouble. Billy had such beautiful hair, clearly well taken care of. You were fairly certain he cared about Theo’s hair in the same way. You feared this would be a breaking point.

“No,” You told him gently, “I just can’t fix your hair.” You responded, wincing as you took one last look at the stuck lump.

“Uh oh,” He whined, his bottom lip trembling, “I bald?” He asked you worriedly, almost making you laugh at his concern.

“You’re not bald,” You responded softly, unsure if he would be by the time it came out, “Why don’t you go back to your desk and leave this part of your hair alone, alright?”

You scrubbed your hands clean, trying to give yourself a little pep talk in the mirror before you moved on to the dreaded phone call. You had no idea how you were going to explain this to Billy. You just feared he wouldn’t be mad.

You held the phone between your cheek and shoulder, staring down at the number on the paper before you finally got your fingers to work. You winced, shutting your eyes tightly as you chanted for Billy to not be there. For no one to answer. Please. No one pick up. 

“Speak to me.” You wanted to punch the air as someone answered on the last ring, sounding a little out of breath. Or perhaps exhausted. But there was no mistaking his raspy tone. It left you warm and prickly on the inside. 

“Hi, Mr. Hargrove. This is -,” 

“So formal,” He teased, his tone smug as he interrupted you, “Calling me while you’re at work is risky. What are you wearing?” He teased you as you looked around, ensuring that no one had heard him.

“I’m still teaching,” You squeaked out as you stared down at your cow print skirt, “And I’m calling because Theo got gum stuck in his hair.” You shut your eyes tightly, waiting for the blow.

“Did you try peanut butter?” He asked casually, not sounding nearly as upset as you thought he would.

“And everything else,” You sighed, “I’m so sorry. I don’t even know how he got it.” You told him quickly, nearly promising that you hadn’t had this happen since your first year of teaching. You thought you had learned your lesson then. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t know either,” He laughed softly, like he knew more than he was letting on, “He’s a kid, it happens. You can cut it.” He suggested, leaving you speechless.

“Me?” You asked in disbelief, “I only have safety scissors.” 

“You don’t own any adult scissors?”

“Well, I’m sure someone does,” You gulped softly, “But I don’t in my classroom. It causes too many issues.” You explained slowly, knowing that anytime you pulled out a pair of regular sized scissors every single one of your students wanted to use it. It was too much of a hassle. 

“I’ll be there soon.” Came his response, quick and to the point. You blinked, about to answer before you were cut off by the line ending. Shoot.

You felt dread sinking into your bones as you waited and waited. Surely Billy wouldn’t actually leave work to come over some gum in Theo’s hair? 

Snack time was always a bit chaotic. You divided your time between punching straws in juice boxes, opening bottles, peeling fruits and opening different plastic containers. Theo always opened his own snacks on his own. And it was always the same. Half a bologna sandwich with ketchup. 

“Hey,” Billy interrupted everyone, a pained look on his features as all of your little students turned their heads in his direction, “I’m here for Theo.”

“Daddy!” He yelled happily, scooping his sandwich up in one hand before he rushed to grab his backpack. Billy followed, giving him a small shake of his head. 

“I’ll have him back in an hour or so,” He told you as he hung Theo’s backpack up, keeping it behind, “We’re just getting your hair fixed, bubba.”

“Shi-,” Theo paused, the word hanging on the tip of his tongue as you felt your eyes widen, “Shoot.” He corrected a second later, making you sigh in relief. 

“I’m really sorry,” You apologized, feeling awful as you approached them, “They’re not supposed to have gum. I don’t know how it snuck past me.” 

“I got it from-!” Theo stalled by Billy covering his mouth, smiling stiffly in your direction.

“No tattle telling,” He teased Theo softly, making your eyes squint playfully at him, “We’ll see you soon.”

It was a little over an hour before they returned, right in the middle of lunch time as you worked on your salad and listened to Peggy’s story about her dad and moms recent fight. You always got good gossip from them, however you couldn’t always be sure what was true or not. 

Theo strolled in, his happy meal in hand with a pair of sunglasses on. He strutted towards his desk, giving his head a little tilt to show off his fresh hairdo; a mullet. He perfectly resembled a little Billy now, mirroring him exactly.

“Sowwy,” Theo replied as he plopped his Happy Meal down on his desk, “You see my hair?” He asked happily, touching his palms against the little curls as he showed it off to everyone. 

“Wow,” Betty giggled as she covered her mouth, looking at her little friends with wide eyes, “I wike it.” She grinned as she leaned forward to touch it, making him smile a little brighter. 

“You look very handsome, Theo,” You agreed with a smile, pressing your lips together as you glanced towards Billy, “Just like your daddy.” You added softly, stomach flipping repeatedly as you met his eye. 

“Oooh, teachew,” Caleb snickered from his desk, “You wike him.” He pounded his fists against his desk, giggling hard as you snapped your gaze in his direction. You knew where this was going. Once this got started, it never ended. 

“I do not.” You said quickly, huffing to yourself as you shook your head. Your fingers twitched from the flushed sensation that spread over you, nervous as you refused to look in Billy's direction. 

“Teachew and-,” He paused as he tilted his head, “Mistew, what youw name?” He asked directly, making your eyes widen. You did not want your students to start singing the kissing song about you and Billy. 

“You don’t have to answer that,” You pleaded with him quickly, “Don’t answer it.” You held your finger up, not caring how immature you sounded right now. You still had a reputation to try and uphold. 

“That’s my daddy,” Theo said proudly as he dunked his nuggets into his ketchup, “Teachew come over fow pizza!” He added excitedly, hitting the nail on the coffin as you lost control of all of your little students. 

“Ooh!”

“Not like that.” You started again quickly, looking to Billy for support as you tried to think of a good answer. He just shrugged his shoulders, looking a little proud. 

“They’re like four,” He chuckled softly, “See you later, bud. No more gum or it’ll rot your teeth out.” He said before he delivered a little kiss to the top of Theo’s head. His blue eyes widened, jaw slacking in disbelief as he turned towards your direction. 

“Teachew?”

“Well-,” You sighed deeply, heart hammering as Billy glanced back at you one last time before leaving, “Ten minutes before lunch is over.” You said meekly instead, wondering how you’d gotten in such a position. 

You weren’t sure how Billy had managed to find a babysitter so quickly, but he had. You weren’t really concerned with eating dinner, but did so to prove a point. It was nice. You learnt a bit more about him, although it was apparent that he was very reserved. Many walls were placed up, hiding him away from you.

Your apartment felt too small when you dragged him back inside, your heart hammering harshly as you thought about the last time you’d been here. You shook away your guilt, reminding yourself that this had to technically be a date. And not your first either. It was fine to have fun with him. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself. 

His hands fell to your hips, squeezing you tightly as his tongue dragged over yours. You moaned at the sensation, your body pressing further against his as his fingertips dug into your flesh. Your heart hammered roughly, your nerves jolting with electricity. 

“God,” He groaned as he pulled away, his bottom lip dragging against yours slowly as he inhaled deeply. His nose brushed against yours, his warm breath coating your face as he slipped his fingers across your damp panties, “Already wet? Slut.”

“Shut up.”

“Didn’t think you were this desperate for me,” He teased as he stripped you down, blue eyes twinkling as he ran his palms over your thighs. He squeezed your thighs roughly, smirking as he leaned forward to kiss at the front of your panties, “You gonna be a good girl and take my cock?” 

“Uh huh,” You muttered, completely in awe with the way he lazily dragged your panties down your legs. He leaned forward, his lips dragging across your inner thighs as your clit ached in pleasure, “Please, Billy. Wanna feel your tongue so badly.”

He smirked up towards you, his expression cocky as he slowly dragged two of his fingers through your wet folds. He licked at your inner thigh, holding eye contact with you before he dragged his teeth against your skin.

You yelped, jolting forward before he pushed you back down. You gaped, pulse racing as he used his two fingers to spread your folds apart. You gasped, body burning as he spit onto your cunt. He mumbled something under his breath, making your veins ache in pleasure as he began to rub his saliva against your pussy. 

Moans fell free from your lips as you gripped your sheets, your hips slowly rocking forward to meet his movements. You shut your eyes in bliss as he continued to rub your swollen numb between his fingertips. 

“You’ve got such a pretty pussy,” He praised as he leaned down to give your clit a little kiss, making you jolt in pleasure as he grunted softly, “Tastes sweet too.” He hummed as his large hand fell to your thigh, pushing you apart as he delivered another swift kiss to your folds.

You exhaled deeply, your lungs burning as he slid his tongue across your pussy. You moaned at the way your hole contracted around nothing, leaking as he began to trace the tip of his tongue across your clit. 

He wrapped his pretty lips around your clit then, sucking softly and melting your bones in the process. You felt weak as you slowly rocked your hips forward, enjoying how he played with your clit. The pleasure burned inside of you, leaving you craving for more of him. 

“Billy,” You moaned as your fingers lightly fell to his hair, twisting through his strands as your hips began to rock against his mouth, “Oh God.” You breathed out, nipples hardening in the exposed air as he continued his motions. You felt like you were floating and drowning at the same time.

He lapped at your cunt, licking away your slick and wetness while groaning to himself. The vibrations of his sounds left you weak, your thighs shaking as he dug his fingers deeper into your flesh. You craved the sensation, liked feeling like he was desperate for you. 

The feeling of his tongue rapidly lapping against your clit left you squealing, blubbering as you gripped the sheets and rocked your cunt up against his face. He held onto you tightly, burying himself in deeper as the muscles in your stomach twisted tightly.

You felt the rough waves of pleasure crashing over you, leaving you breathless as you reached for the head of the bed. You came with a loud cry, overstimulated with the rough way his tongue was lapping at your clit the whole time. It all felt too good. 

You felt weak as he slowly spit onto your pussy before he then licked away your mixture. You moaned deeply, your throat tickling from the rough sounds as he slowly pulled himself away. His lips were slick and red, eyes hazy but arrogant. He knew what he was doing. The bastard.

You gripped his strong muscles, pulling him over your body before you crashed your lips against his. You moaned as you tasted yourself, savoring the feeling of his tongue sliding against yours as he removed his remaining clothes. 

He pressed your legs apart, spreading you wide for him as he slid his knees against your skin. You gaped, sitting up a bit to get a better look at the way he lazily dragged his fist over his hard cock. Butterflies spread through your body, leaving you needy as you wiggled your way closer to him.

“Please.” You moaned as you reached down to squeeze his cock, looking at the way his precum slid from his red tip. You gaped, hungrily watching as he tore open the wrapped condom with his teeth. 

“What do you want?” He teased as he slid the condom over the head of his cock, nearly making you drool at the way his thick girth filled it out. You moved your hands to your sides, trying to keep yourself from playing with your clit. 

“I want you to fuck me,” You begged, gaping as he slid his hard cock around your slick cunt, “Please daddy.” The name slipped free awkwardly as you stumbled over your tongue, your eyebrows furrowing together as you were unsure of yourself. You weren’t sure where that came from, but it certainly bursted free roughly. 

“Uh,” He froze for a moment, blinking quickly, “What?” He settled back on his knees, blue eyes filling with surprise as he stared down at you. You winced as the mistake washed over you. 

“Um,” You gulped harshly, quickly realizing that you had misspoke as the embarrassment set in, “Sorry. Too far.” You apologized awkwardly, your insides burning from humiliation. So much for trying your hand at dirty talk. Maybe calling him a slut would’ve been better. 

“No, no,” He shook his head, watching the way you wiggled yourself free from underneath him, “I just-, I’m a dad you know.” He gestured towards himself, making you look away quickly. You felt your defensive walls coming up, not meaning to make it so weird. 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You protested as you sat up, pressing your knees up to your chest as you tried to think of a quick escape. 

“It’s fine,” He shrugged his shoulders, “Just freaked me out a bit.” His smile was soft, but your ego was far too bruised at the moment. You were shutting down. You needed to be alone and try and figure out why your tongue had betrayed you in such a way. 

“Maybe you should go then,” You gulped as you pulled your blanket over yourself, feeling a rush of shame, “I have to work tomorrow anyways.” You said awkwardly, refusing to look at him and instead staring at the schedule on your wall. Almost as if to prove that you weren’t lying. 

“It’s not-,” He sighed as he watched you, but you kept your eyes peeled towards the floor, “Alright.” He replied gruffly as his movements shifted you back and forth on the bed. You continued to stare, almost afraid to look at him. 

You held your blanket tightly over your chest, breathing in harshly as you listened to the sound of his footsteps on your floorboards and then the eventual sound of the door shutting as he left. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

You had totally and definitely just ruined things between the two of you.

Tags: @cassandracorvo @marshmallowgem @shes-an-odd-bird @stormy-stardust @highwaywildflower @amberpanda99 @sssstarstruck @zoexme @missingbillyhargrove @let-love-bleeds-red @empath-bunny

[thebearmage]

Reborn - Five Hargreeves x Dolores - Chapter Two

Rated 18+/Mature.

TW: Coercion, mention of sex, attempt at rape 

(Chapter One) (Chapter Two) (Chapter Three - coming soon)

Chapter Two - Fight or Flight

“Dotty, honey! We got another beer at table three,”

Dolores massages her temples behind the bar before turning to face one of the older women in Mr. Higgin’s establishment, Rosa, with a tight smile. 

“Got it, Rosa,”

Dolores returns to the tap, takes a glass, and fills the pitcher. She watches the golden liquid fill the glass, her thoughts running just as fast. 

Eleven months, two weeks, two days. That’s how long Dolores has been working at this shithole. Mr. Higgins kept his promise; he gave Dolores food, shelter, and a steady income of cash, but it was not enough, not by a long shot, for Dolores to get her own place. 

Dolores hated it, every goddamn second of it. Mr. Higgins was ‘kind’ enough to let Dolores stay on waitress and bartending duties unless asked for specifically by a client. Those nights were the worst. 

“Just lay there and look pretty,” Rosa told Dolores one night after she returned from her first night with a customer, “They don’t want a partner. They want a toy. So, be the toy and get them off so you can be done,”

Even with her little social knowledge, Dolores knew it was wrong. She felt like a doll again: manhandled, squeezed, told what to do and how to act. 

“I am a real person…I am a real person…I am a real person…I am a-”

Dolores’ thoughts are cut off by the feeling of the beer overflowing onto her hand; she quickly wipes everything down before carrying the drink to the table, trying not to trip.

Mr. Higgins forced all the women to wear skimpy outfits that barely covered anything. Dolores wore a white crop top over a black lace bra that everyone could see, tight jeans shorts, matching lace panties, and white Stiletto heels. 

Dolores had no idea how other women could walk in these hell shoes. 

Teetering slightly, Dolores makes it over to the table and serves the man his beer, but as she turns away, she feels a sharp smack right on her butt. 

“Hey!” She cries, angered, “What the fuck!?”

She turns to find him leering up at her in a very lewd and unashamed way.

“Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie. It just looked so appealing. Lighten up.”

Dolores feels her face twist into a scowl, but knowing this job was all she had, she holds back, actually biting her tongue to keep herself from talking. 

“Is that everything, gentlemen?” she says, trying hard to keep her face in check.

“Not quite,” said the man, “Why don’t you come and spend some time with me. All work and no play makes-” he squints at her nametag, “-Dot a dull girl.”

“No, thank you,” she says stiffly.

“Oh come on, girl,” The man bites his lower lip, “You’re asking for it, come on, spend a night with Daddy,”

Dolores tries not to vomit but lets her disgust show on her face, “Ugh, fucking gross,” she starts to walk away.

“Hey!” The man gets up, “I’m talking to you, bitch!”

Dolores turns around, “Yeah? Well, I’ve taken your order and served your drink, so this discussion is over,”

The man fumes, “Oh you fucking-” he reels his hand back to slap Dolores, but another hand stops her. Mr. Higgins.

“Now, now, son,” He grins, “Hands off the merchandise. I have a special customer looking forward to seeing her tonight; I don’t need that milky skin marked up now, do I?”

Dolores folds her arms over herself, tray under her arm, trying to seem smaller. Higgins didn’t value any of his workers as people; they were just pretty cash cows for him to exploit. He talked about the girls as if they were works of art for him to sell off to the highest bidder. Or, more accurately, pieces of meat.

“Go get ready, dolly,” Higgins orders Dolores, “Your man will be here soon,”

Dolly. That fucking nickname. Dolly or Doll. Dolores hated that name with a burning passion; just hearing it sent waves of fury curling in her gut. It takes all she has not to hit Higgins around the pudgy face with the tray in her hands. 

Though the thought has helped her sleep many nights. 

“Sure,” she responds, before walking away to get ready. 

By getting ready, she means taking everything but her bra and panties off and waiting for the guy in her room. It was so different from before, where he would wrap her up in layers of clothing to ensure she was warm, that she’d survive. Now, Dolores was actively removing her precious clothing to appease a man in almost the same way. 

“Wait, what guy am I even thinking about? When did this happen?” She shakes the thoughts away and reapplies her makeup before sitting on the bed. “You can do this. Just be the toy for a few hours, get the extra money, then go home,” Dolores tells herself, “Be the toy. Get the money. Be the toy, get the money,”

It doesn’t take long for the man to knock, and Dolores looks up, “Enter,”

The man was tall and older, maybe in his mid-40s, with graying black hair and brown eyes. He wore a three-piece suit and matching fedora. He looked fucking ridiculous, like a wannabe prohibition-era gangster. It amused Dolores as well as disgusted her. 

Dolores puts on her best fake smile and greets him, running a hand up his arm, “Heya, baby, how can I be of service tonight?” The man breathes a sigh of relief and instantly wraps his arms around Dolores's middle, “Oh baby, the list of things I wanna do to you tonight,” he whispers into her ear. Dolores could smell the beer and tobacco on his breath, “I got a list,”

Dolores giggles, “We’ll show me, mister, and we can discuss it,”

The man looks at Dolores, “Discuss? No, no, no, I’m doing all of these…” he pulls out a folded list and lets it fall open in front of Dolores’s face, “...to you tonight,”

Dolores scans the list, and the alarm bell rings in her head. Not even two words down, and she’s already seen one of her hard nos.

Anal Fisting 

“Oh fuck,” Dolores tries to smile again, “Baby, limits and boundaries must be discussed,” she laughs awkwardly, “Otherwise, I’m going to have to turn you away,”

The man’s grip on Dolores tightens, eyes full of lust due to her fear and smile predatory, “Did you not hear me, babe?” he asks, “I said ‘I’m doing all of this to you,”

He pushes Dolores backward, causing her to trip on her heels and sprawl out onto the bed, and she scrambles to get away, only for the man to grab her arm and force her under him. 

“Come on, baby, you’ll love it, I promise!”

“HIGGINGS!” Dolores screams, “HIGG-” The man claps his hand over Dolores’ mouth, “Shh, shh, shh. No, no, baby, we’re going to have fun,”

The man moves his free hand down to Dolores’ panties, and something within her…clicks. 

Without thinking, Dolores grabs one of her shoes and jams the heel right into the man’s ear. He cries out as blood spurts from the busted eardrum as Dolores rolls off the bed and onto the floor. 

“What the fuck!??” The man shouts, blood leaking through his fingers as he holds his ear, “You fucking psycho! You busted my ear!”

The man attacks again, but Dolores blocks his three hook punches before jabbing the man in the kidney once…twice…thrice before punching him square in the jaw.

The man drops like a rock, crumpling to the ground with Dolores standing over him with a bloody shoe. 

Hearing the commotion, Rosa bursts into the room, “What in the blazes is going on-”

She cuts herself off, seeing the prone man and Dolores. 

“Honey?”

Dolores was panting, her eyes wide as she stared at the man, the shoe, then back at him.

“What the hell…?” she mutters, sitting on the bed, “What the hell!?”

“Dotty, what happened!?” Rosa drapes a robe over her, “Did…did he try something?”

Dolores nods, “He tried…” she takes a harsh breath to keep the tears from spilling, “...he tried to rape me, Rosa,”

Rosa gasps softly, “Oh baby,” she hugs Dolores, and the younger woman breaks down in her arms, sobbing into her shoulder. 

The other girls, hearing Dolores’ sobs, come in and crowd around, one sitting on Dolores’ other side and rubbing her back. Rosa mouthing the word ‘rape’ to them had them all gasping in horror. 

They all start whispering encouragement and comfort to Dolores, one girl gently petting her hair while another rubs her back. They all stayed with her until her sobs turned to sniffles. 

One goes to get Mr. Higgings, and the unconscious man is dragged out. Another makes tea, and the girls stay with Dolores. They talk about random things—how their day was, comments about the men who remained at the bar too long—until Dolores is ready to speak. 

Dolores tells them the story, all of it: him coming onto her, her saying no, him insisting, throwing her on the bed. 

“It’s like I…snapped,” Dolores holds her head, “I just…suddenly knew what to do,”

“Maybe it was an old memory springing forth,” Jenny, a waitress, says, “You said you lost your memory, right?”

Dolores nodded, remembering the cover story she had told the girls when it became clear that Dolores didn’t know things that would typically be common knowledge. 

“Maybe you were some kickass cop-in-training or something,” Cassy, the bartender who’d initially served Dolores her first night, comments, smiling, “That would be cool!”

Dolores, despite knowing it wasn’t true, laughs, “Yeah, maybe,” she sighs, “I just hate when I’m forced to be a toy for them,” Dolores rests her chin on her hand, “I’m not…into it, as one would say,”

Jenny thinks for a moment, “Dotty, have you ever considered being on top?”

“Top?” Dolores sniffs, “Top of what?” Cassy laughs, “Top of others, silly! You know women don’t always bottom, right? Why not be the one who's in control? That way, you could hit men - which you're clearly good at - AND they'd pay you for it,”

“Yeah, yeah!” The second bartender, Myra, adds, “Oh my god, Dotty. That’d be perfect for you! You seem to do better when you’re in control, and I know quite a few men who love being dominated by women,”

Dolores looks around, seeing that all the women agree, “But I…I wouldn’t know how…I’ve never,”

“Oh girl, no one does it at first,” Cassy scoffs, “Here, little secret…” she leans in as if to whisper, hand by her mouth, “I moonlight at a club…” she pauses as if looking for eavesdroppers, “...a sex club, downtown! They cater to all kinds of people there! I bet one of their experts can teach you a thing or two! Maybe you can even get a job!”

Dolores feels hope surge in her chest, “...Really?”

Cassy hits her arm, “Yeah, girl! Tell you what, I'll get you an interview, and then you can hook the rest of us up when you get the green,” Cassy cheekily rubs her fingers together, “Deal?”

Dolores nods, beaming, “Deal!”

The girls squeal and all hug her, Rosa looking at the group fondly. 

»»————　★　————««

Dolores walks briskly down the city streets, dressed in the attire Cassy helped her pick out. She hasn’t said anything to Higgins in case this doesn’t work out. 

Dolores was nervous; she’d never done an interview before. The girls helped her practice, but it became clear Dolores knew nothing, so they had to run her through standard social practices. 

The only thing they told her to do was be there early. Her interview was at three p.m., and it was currently two forty. She would have to sprint to get there at least ten minutes early. 

Dolores was in such a rush that she didn’t notice when she ran smack-dab into a man. His coffee, luckily, only hit the concrete instead of their clothes. 

“Shit!” he curses, backing up, “Watch it!”

Dolores pants, looking at the man. He was shorter, with black hair that fell over his green eyes, “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking. I…”

Dolores looks around to see the C.I.A. building right next to them. The man has clearly started walking up the stairs, crossing her path. 

“Oh fuck, I ran into a C.I.A agent,” she curses herself, “I’m so sorry, I have an interview and I…”

The man holds out his hand, “It’s okay,” he smiles politely, “I have one today, too. I get it,”

Dolores gets a better look at the man. His hair was shorter but just tickled his nape in a way that said he was growing it out. He wore a three-piece dark gray suit with a white button-down. He had a sharp, handsome jawline and a slightly hooked nose, and he was looking at her with a little line between his furrowed eyebrows. His posture was professional and tall, speaking wonders about his confidence.

Dolores smiled, “He’s kinda cute,” she couldn’t help but think before shaking it off, “I’d offer to get you another, but I really have to go,”

The man shakes his head, still smiling, “No need. Good luck, by the way,”

“You too,” Dolores smiles before brushing past him, “Have a good day!”

The man starts up the stairs, sending her a wave. Dolores hurries the remaining block before reaching the building.  It was a giant black house with a rather intricate staircase leading to giant black wooden doors. It looked odd with the city buildings on either side, but Dolores liked it. 

With a shaking hand, she knocks on the door. After a moment of waiting, a younger man with bleached white hair, eyeliner, a band T-shirt, black skinny jeans, and Converse opens the door. 

“Dolores Smith?” he asks, smiling when Dolores nods, “Alright! Come on in!”

Dolores takes a breath before stepping inside, following him, “Here we go,”

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

i explain india but i'm drunk.

Hello maggots of mine you're all such babygirls and bastards just like Aziraphale and Crowley. I'm so proud of you all for existing. Yes i'm a wholesome drunk you now know this about me. The wine tastes like rotten grapes and smells of battery acid and cost 245 rupees INR. Speaking of INR, thanks to a maggot's ask, I'm here to explain India. I've never set foot outside of this country. But I'm also very very shit at general knowledge.

To any non-Indians reading this, this is a totally legit 1000% everything covered all-inclusive summary. To any Indians reading this, I'm so so fucking sorry.

India, explained.

So there's south india and there's north india and there's north east india. north india is very racist about south india and they're both very racist about north east india. Most of these people are also probably racist either to other countries or they have internalised racism. It's a wild trip.

There are. A lot of languages here. And a LOT of scripts. I can read two scripts, understand four Indian languages and speak in two of them (badly), and those two are not my native tongues. I cannot speak in my native tongues. It's basically English at this point. These aren't dialects, those are separate. Picture like, Europe, but more, in terms of how many languages.

Everyone hates each other which is valid for the entire planet honestly.

In south india we have a lot of coconuts. Like a lot. There are so many coconuts you have no fucking idea guys you cannot escape the coconuts. I was nearly killed by a shower of coconuts when I was 5 I escaped by one second.

There are also cows. People will tell you that you are being racist when you say India has cows everywhere. But it's true. Two weeks ago I had the pleasure to be stuck in a traffic jam. Next to the street barrier thing (what divides a street im too drunk for this) I saw a huge bull fucking HUMPING a cow. The vehicles just had to move around them. They were having sex right there.

If you're a middle class Indian kid, your career options are: doctor, engineer, scientist, CA, lawyer, government official or family disappointment.

Needless to say, I was going to be doctor and am now instead family disappointment. I'm babygirling so hard it's insane. The prodigal son.

It's very ace-friendly and heterophobic in the sense that you are not supposed to be exhibiting any sexuality whatever in a respectable household. Just shut up and give virgin birth already. But be married. That's crucial.

Oh yeah gay marriage isn't legal trans people are constantly othered by society and/or given no respect whatsover and we're just all vibing here this is totally not why I'm finishing a small bottle of cheap wine on a thursday past midnight alone in my room.

Foreigners are like a zoo species you see them you're instantly concerned like what are they doing outside the TV screens and then either people are normal (rarely), they run up and take photos or try to slip into conversation (more often than you'd think, even I've been guilty of the conversation thing as a kid) OR they start talking about how 'this western culture is ruining our culture'. Which is fair but honestly both the 'cultures' these people are talking about usually involve incredible amounts of bigotry and are more similar than they think.

I think the lesson here is that humans just suck as a species. Except for you maggots. I love you all and I will defend you with my life.

THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT IS INSANELY AMAZING. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHAAT. I HAVE NO SPICE TOLERANCE SO I HAVE TO BEG ON MY KNEES FOR THE SPICES TO BE REDUCED BUT STILL. THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT, YOU GUYS. YOU NEED IT.

Sorry yes I'm normal. ALSO THE STREET DOGS. THE INDIES. THEY'RE SO LOVELY AND SWEET AND CHAOTIC AND I KEEP TALKING TO THEM. Once when I was crying I made the dog distress while and like five dogs that I didn't know came running to me and comforted me and licked me.

INDIAN DANCE MUSIC. I FUCKING LOVE IT IT'S INSANE. My family were elitist as fuck so I never got to listen to Bollywood music as a kid but it's AMAZING I'm so glad it exists. Bhangra too.

Beaches very very pretty hills very very pretty honestly the nature is fucking beautiful if you can just quickly pretend humans don't exist, which again is true of this entire planet. Yeah. Okay I'm so fucking drunk.

Yeah lots of diversity which is very nice when the humans aren't screaming at each other about it but the rest of the time it's very nice

The garbage and sewer stories? yeah they're all true im sorry

Traffic rules more like traffic suggestions amirite

Well, we still have far better healthcare access than america. so. there is that.

If you speak English well you'll be mocked and isolated. If you speak English poorly you'll be mocked and isolated. Honestly, just be rich. That'll fix it all.

All the conservatives hate each other and don't realise they're the exact same but in like different flavours.

Oh yeah we have auto rickshaws. Look them up. They're so much better than cars I don't get motion sick as easily in them. But the drivers all hate you and never want to take you anywhere.

Eyyyyyyyyyy it's so fucking fun here *drinsk more alcohol* I am so fucking not looking forward to college.

Please someone crowdfund me out of here let's all go chill in Alpha Centauri I've heard it's nice this time of the year.

I will, however, miss the casual live cow pornos. A true highlight.

[I got this peer-reviewed by my friend in India's top law school, just in case, because I'm too drunk and generally dumb. They say I will not be killed. And they've been on Twitter so.]

Irrefutable legal proof y'all. I don't mean to offend anyone except bigots. Fuck you, bigots, if you're not offended then I've disappointed my community.

[witchybitchycrybaby]

I hate myself for loving you

Davos Blackwood x Aeron Bracken

SFW, enemies to lovers, some usual bickering between these two, fluff at the end(?)

I'm so obsessed with them and I haven even watched hotd yet

✨✨✨

It was a warm evening in Westeros, right on the border of the Blackwood and Bracken lands. The air was filled with the scent of the forest and earth and the crickets were chirping their everyday song. Somewhere in the distance a river's quiet murmuring could be heard.

And in the midst of it all was Davos Blackwood. He was leaning against a tree, eyeing a meadow that had became a place in which Blackwoods and Brackens most often met to argue. About boundary stones, about the cows not eating their grass and about many other things. It also became a place in which Davos could most often see Aeron Bracken.

Ah, yes, Aeron Bracken - the boy who was his enemy, who was everything his family despised and whom Davos hated. But he also somehow didn't.

Because there was also this other side of him that was drawn to the other boy in ways he couldn't fathom. Every time he saw the golden haired boy, he felt this pull towards him, the one that filled him with both hatred and desire. And so Davos Blackwood hated Aeron Bracken. He hated that his heart raced every time he saw him, hated the way Aeron's smile froze all his senses. He wanted to push the boy away, because maybe, just maybe, these feelings might disappear, turn into nothing but a dream.

But he couldn't. He was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. How could he feel so strongly for someone who represented everything he was supposed to hate?

He hated Aeron Bracken for making him feel this way, confused and divided between his family and his heart. But most of all, he hated himself for... loving Aeron, for needing him.

Davos tightened his jaw when he saw a familiar figure in the distance. Now came the moment to play his part. Because if he couldn't have his feelings reciprocated, he would make the Bracken boy hate him too. Hatred was still better than indifference after all.

"Lost your way, Bracken?" Davos asked, coming closer to the other boy. "Or am I so irresistible you just missed me?"

Aeron lifted his chin up a bit. "Dream on, Blackwood. If I had any say in it, I'd be anywhere but here, breathing the same air as a Blackwood."

"Funny thing," Davos retorted with a smirk on his face. "because your presence here feels like a punishment for some past life sin. What did I do to deserve this?"

Yes, Davos thought, what did I do to be so close and yet so far? To be right here, with Aeron within the arm's reach, and still feel like there was a canyon between them?

"Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk, Blackwood?" He asked through gritted teeth, anger flashing in his beautiful eyes.

"Not at all." Davos laughed but it held no trace of joy or fun. "I'm quite an entertaining person you see."

"Did the whores in brothels tell you that? Because you're very far from being entertaining, trust me. You're just a pain in my ass, nothing more, nothing less."

Davos looked at Aeron for a while. Oh, this little shit and his bloody, sharp tongue will get him killed some day. The black haired boy quietly promised himself to show this Bracken what a real pain in the ass feels like.

"It's almost impressive how you manage to be so consistently infuriating. You must practice in front of a mirror." Said Davos, clenching and unclenching his fists. Gods only knew how much he wanted to just push the blond boy against a tree and have his way with him.

Aeron was already opening his mouth to say something when suddenly, they heard a rumble of thunder somewhere nearby and a lightning flashed across the sky. The heavens opened up and in seconds the boys were soaked, wet clothes sticking to their bodies.

Davos swore under his breath and before he could even think about what he was doing, he reached out and gripped Aeron's hand tightly. The contact making his own body jolt with how right it felt.

"Come on," he said, trying to be louder than the rain. "There's an old shed not far from here. We can hide there."

Aeron stood completely still for a moment, looking at their clasped hands. He could feel the shiver run up his back, but he decided that it must have been the rain. It must have... right?

He then tried to pull out of the Blackwood's hold, but the other boy only tightened his grip even more, if it was even possible. "Don't touch me! I'm not going anywhere with you, Blackwood!"

"Oh come on, we don't have time for this. We have to get going. You can yell at me all you want later when there's a roof over our heads."

Aeron gave it a thought; it was stupid being alone with this specific Blackwood, in some shed in the middle of the forest. But then again, he was too far from home and it was an even stupider idea to go back in this weather.

He glanced at Davos' dark eyes and nodded.

Davos didn't let go of Aeron's warm and soft hand as he led them through the bushes and muddy ground. Another lightning lit up the sky right before them and they quickened their pace as the thunder rumbled.

Where in the seven hells is this damned shed?, he thought, it should be right here. Blackwood stopped abruptly, causing the blond boy to bump into him.

"Gods, you don't even know where that shed is, do you? I knew I shouldn't trust you, Blackwood. You're so fucking lost right now, aren't you?"

"Shut up, Bracken!" Davos yelled, turning his head and trying to find his way through the rain and trees. "I'm not lost."

Finally, he decided to turn left. It couldn't get any worse than it already was anyway. Wet as they were, they could wander through the forest some more.

As they ran, slipping on the mud, the wooden shed loomed into view, and Davos wanted to laugh with joy. It was and old structure, abandoned for years and dilapidated, but still it provided shelter.

Davos pulled Aeron inside and closed the creaking door behind them. The air inside was musty, the scent of punk wood mixed with the smell of rain-soaked soil.

Aeron pulled his hand from the other boy's strong grip, his breath coming in short bursts as he looked at him. "Great. Just great. Stuck here with you."

The boy muttered something more under his nose but began shaking water from his golden locks; Davos had a feeling that he was just cursing him.

"You're welcome to leave, Bracken. The door's right there if you want to try your luck." Davos retorted, taking off his wet tunic. He could feel Aeron's intense gaze flickering to his bare chest when he thought he wasn't looking.

Aeron then began removing his own tunic, avoiding Davos' eyes like the plague. And Davos on the contrary, looked at him without a trace of shame. His heart pounded as hid eyes traced the lines of Aeron's lean and yet muscular body.

"What are you looking at, Blackwood?" He snapped, though his voice wavered.

Davos stepped closer, his pulse quickening. He didn't want to play this game anymore. "You," he said, his voice low and a bit strangled. "You stand here looking so wet and pretty like that and I..."

I can't help it.

Before Aeron could do or say anything to respond, Davos closed the distance between them, and crushed his lips onto Aeron's soft ones with hunger and desperation. It lasted only a second before the blond boy pushed him away with eyes wide with shock.

Oh, but how sweet this second was. Davos licked his lips wanting to taste him for another second longer.

"What the Seven hells is wrong with you?" Aeron snapped, his chest heaving.

And yet his eyes contradicted his words. Davos could see it clearly: the flick of desire and want. He smirked knowing that he had just won.

"What is wrong with me?" He repeated, his voice hoarse and husky. "What's wrong with you, Bracken? You liked it."

"No, I didn't." Aeron protested quickly, but his faltering voice gave him away.

Davos leaned over the other boy's face, their noses almost touching. He could feel Aeron's warm breath on his lips.

"You want me to do it again. Admit it. You want this as much as I do."

Aeron's breath hitched in his throat. Davos could see the storm of emotions in his eyes, similar to the one awaiting them outside. He could see how strife-ridden he was; all the hate, ander and underneath them the hunger.

Davos raised his hand and touched the boy's cheek, caressing the soft skin. Aeron whined quietly, and in a voice barely above a whisper he said, "Yes."

That one word was all the invitation Davos needed. He surged forward, capturing Aeron's lips in another kiss, this one slower and more deliberate. Aeron didn't push him away this time. Instead he gripped his hands on Davos' shoulders, pulling him even closer.

Their tongues danced together while Davos' hands roamed over Aeron's body, savoring the feel of his warm, soft skin beneath his fingertips.

Davos broke the kiss and trailed his lips down the blond boy's jaw, planting soft kisses along the way. Aeron's head tilted back, a quiet moan escaping his lips as Davos' mouth moved to his neck, sucking gently at his sensitive skin.

"This is wrong," aeron whispered, but his grip on Davos only tightened.

"I know," Davos replied and rested his forehead against Aeron's. "But I don't care."

"You know," started Aeron again when they sat on the wooden floor, leaning his head on the black-haired boy's shoulder. "for a Blackwood you are not the worst company."

Davos laughed at the comment and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. "And for a Bracken you're not as hopeless as the rest of your kin."