#what about having a free day before the semester starts to collect myself and prepare for another 15 weeks of intense studying after coming

[goldentangerines]

new semester tomorrow ia m hanging on by a thread.

[let-me-write-shit]

You writing is soo cool, you're amazing! I don't know if you are taking requests, but what about a famous Y/N and meets professor Harry and he is like "I don't want to teach you, you are famous" and she is like "you are going to teach me and fall in love with me😏" and well, idk the idea just came to my mind and I thought of you to write it hahaha. Love your writing, keep doing it 'cause you are great!

 Word Count: 9,443 LONG AS SHIIIIT

WARNING: FILTHY SMUT!!!!!!!! (I put ******** before and after the smut so you can skip if you’d like

A/N: Thank you SOO much to @mylittleangel9403 for this request and I’m SOOOO sorry it took so long. Turned out a lot longer than I anticipated. Not sure if you wanted this to be smutty, but I just couldn’t help myself. Also, shoutout to @gwenlovesharrystyles for the help on this imagine! Much appreciated!!Enjoy!

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Professor Styles

“Ma’am, respectfully, I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Harry leaned forward in his chair, fingertips pressed together, aware of the large presence that sat beside him, his voice almost a whisper. “We’re already several classes deep, and as you know, my class is very difficult. She’ll be at a disadvantage going in, not to mention the students already in my class. The distraction isn’t fair for them.”

“Professor Styles, I don’t need to tell you how much this means to our University. I understand your concern, and I have every faith in you to help miss Y/L/N catch up to speed and keep your students in-check.”

He could feel the eyes of the famous singer on him as she uncrossed her legs and sat straighter in her chair. In his peripheral, he could see her burly manager, who stood in the back against a wall, take a step closer behind them like a bodyguard waiting to pounce. But for some reason, Harry had the distinct impression that Y/N could do without protection. He thought she was tough enough.

“Sir,” Y/N spoke softly and respectfully. Harry turned, seeing a reflection of yellow in her eyes as the sun shone through the window onto them, and he couldn’t help but think she was putting on an act for the Dean. “I know that the circumstances are...unusual. But, I promise I will do everything in my power to not cause any distraction in your class. I’ll sit in the back if that helps. Whatever it takes.”

The young professor took a deep breath, taking in her words. He looked around the room in thought, feeling everyone’s attention on him all the while. Some of the rumors about her seemed to ring true. Y/N had this energy about her that made it difficult to focus or think straight. She hardly took her eyes off of him throughout this entire meeting.

Harry sighed in defeat and nodded, “Alright. I trust she’ll be given the syllabus and information on everything she’ll need for my class?” he asked the Dean.

But before the Dean could respond, Y/N chirped, “I’ve already gotten it and I’m prepared to start next week.”

“Well, that’s settled, then,” the Dean grinned, victoriously, “Welcome to our school, Miss Y/L/N. Unless you have any more questions, you are free to go.”

Y/N stood up with a smile, followed by the Dean and professor. She stuck out a hand and shook them, saying, “Thank you so much. I look forward to starting on Tuesday.”

Her burly manager opened the door for her and she began to make her way out. And as Harry collected his things to leave, the Dean quipped, “Oh, Professor Styles. Before you head to your next class, I’d like to speak to you for a moment.”

Harry watched as Y/N closed the door behind her, almost certain he saw a wink, before setting his things back down and taking a seat once more. He listened as the Dean encouraged him to do all that he can to ensure Y/N had a good experience here, explaining how big of a deal this was and how Y/N taking his class might encourage more students to enroll.

Harry listened, respectfully, but wanted nothing more than to roll his eyes. It annoyed him that he was expected to baby Y/N and bend to her will solely because she was a rich and famous singer, and he refused to play a part in that. If she wanted success in his class, she would need to earn it just like the rest of his students.

When they finished their conversation, he was already running late for his next class. Again, he collected his things and made his way out of the office. As he speed-walked through the administration, he was surprised to see Y/N still there, sat on a chair beside her burly manager, talking. When she noticed him, she instantly jumped to her feet and raced up to him.

“Hey,” she said, simply, keeping his pace as they continued out of the administration building and into the main campus.

“I’m running late to my next class, Miss Y/L/N. Did you have a question, or can this wait?”

Her voice was so flippant that it bordered arrogance, “Just wanted to thank you again for letting me join your class this late into the semester.”

“It’s not me you should thank. I don’t agree with it and I won’t baby you. You’ve got a lot of catching up to do. I suggest you start reading your books so you’re not lost in my next class. Your classmates have worked hard to get to where they are and I’d hate for you to be the reason for a halt in their progress.”

“I think you’ll find that not to be the case.”

She was so smug that it caught him off guard. The looming of her large manager two paces behind him as they hustled down the walkway was even more noticeable now, along with the many whispers and stares as they continued. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, perplexed.

He debated whether to ask, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. Not wanting to show any sign of weakness or that he’d entertain her malarky. But his curiosity got the better of him.

“Miss Y/L/N, why are you taking my class?”

“Why not?” she smirked in response.

He sighed, annoyed that he was even going along with this, “We both know you don’t need to go to school, especially for Advanced Musical Theory. Why are you only taking my class?”

Her voice was softer and more sincere this time as she spoke, “I’ve always been interested in Music Theory and wanted to take it before my career kicked off. And I heard you were one of the best teachers in your field.”

For a split second, in that moment of sincerity, he thought he might have just seen her, the real her, behind all the fame and money and act. But her innocence faltered as she quickly shuffled in front of him, making Harry fumble to a stop.

Her eyes were more seductive now as she hushed, “Besides, I heard about how hot you were and I needed to see it for myself. And I’m not disappointed,” she looked at him through her eyelashes.

Harry could feel the warmth rise to his cheeks, extremely aware of her manager’s presence behind him and the few students nearby, staring. He was sure his face was bright red right now as Y/N’s smirk only seemed to grow.

Harry was aware of his reputation around campus for being the ‘hot teacher’. He wasn’t a stranger to the gossip or the occasional student trying to make a pass at him. And, honestly, his ego enjoyed it. But he’d never crossed that line with a student before and she would be no exception.

He did his best to compose himself and continued past her, Y/N following behind, “I’ll ignore that and just give you fair warning,” he started, “My class is hard and you will not be given special treatment just because you’re famous. I promised the dean I’d get you caught up, and I will. Your class is every Tuesday, and you can meet me in my office after each lesson for an hour for the next few weeks until we get you up-to-date on what you’ve missed. I will not play into your games.”

“Yes, Sir,” she pouted, teasingly, and again, jumped in front of him, holding a hand out and smiling, “Looking forward to next Tuesday.”

Harry looked at her suspiciously, pausing for a moment before ultimately giving in and taking her hand in his. But before he could respond, she pulled herself closer to him. So close that she was practically whispering in his ear.

“But just to warn you, not only will I ace your class, but by the end of the semester, I’ll make you call in love with me.”

Her breath was so hot and her words were so unexpected that he stood there, stunned, while she pulled away, winked, and walked back towards her bodyguard, heading back from where they just came from. She waved to a few students that recognized her, and she looked back once to blow a discreet kiss before she rounded a corner and was out of sight.

Harry watched after her, stunned at her assertiveness while people were watching. But he shook it off and continued to his class, mentally preparing himself to break the news to his students.

The anxiety in the week leading up to the start of Y/N’s first official day in Professor Styles’ class was becoming more frequently accompanied by the Dean’s constant checking in on him to make sure everything was ready, more students visiting or showing up to class, and even more excited whispers. Harry, on the other hand, did his best to push it aside, not getting what all the fuss was about.

He had done his best to prepare his students for their newly joined classmate, even sending out mass reminder emails to those in his class to please be courteous and warning them to avoid distraction. But when he pulled up to the school that day, he noticed more students than normal just hanging around, scanning all over campus like they were scouting for something.

Harry quickly realized that they were waiting to catch a glimpse at the famous singer and he snorted, rolling his eyes. Kids were so predictable. He slipped his lanyard with his ID around his neck, grabbed hold of his coffee and briefcase, and got out of his car, heading towards his classroom.

The Professor smiled and nodded at the students that greeted him in the hallway, proud that he knew each of them by name, continuing to his class. He knew his students would already be there, by now. Harry was usually always a few minutes late and he assumed that it gave his students more than enough time to ogle their new addition to the class.

But, when Harry rounded the corner and saw Y/N leaning up against the wall, arms crossed and alone, his nerves increased.

“Harry,” Y/N beamed when she spotted him, practically skipping over to him.

Harry raised his eyebrows, clearing his throat, “It’s Professor Styles,” he warned, earning a sarcastic nod while he continued, “Why are you not in class?”

“I thought we could go in together since I’m new.”

“I’m your professor, not your babysitter. Go on in next time,” he said as they approached the door. Before turning the knob, he paused and faced her, “While you’re here, I’ll explain to you what I explained to them on the first day. I’m a pretty easy-going teacher because I know how hard this class can be. You can eat in my class, you can have your phones out, you can come in wearing pajamas, I don’t care. However, the biggest rule in my class is that you treat people with kindness. We do not judge in this class. We don’t interrupt people or talk over others, we don’t make others feel inferior. My class is a safe space for people to be their authentic selves and we respect that. Can you do that?”

Y/N’s stance softened and she grinned, nodding, “Yes. I can do that.”

“Good,” Harry nodded, “I’d like you to take a seat towards the back of the class for today if you don’t mind. I’d rather they pay attention to me than the back of your head.”

“Whatever you say, Professor,” Y/N exaggerated his title, her lips twitching up in a lopsided smile.

He looked down at her for a moment, narrowing his eyes, trying to size her up, before he gave in and turned the knob to his class. The buzz from his students loudly chattering amongst each other instantly stopped when he walked in, closely followed by the singer. Harry vaguely noticed that not only was every single one of his students present, but they all looked slightly more put-together than normal. He snorted under his breath, dropping his briefcase on his desk, taking a sip from his coffee cup, and placing that down, as well.

“Morning!” He called out, earning a chorus of greetings in return. He gestured towards Y/N who was making her way up the steps towards the back of the class, “I’m sure you all know who this is. We are incredibly lucky to welcome Y/N in joining us this year.”

Y/N stopped climbing the steps to smile brightly and wave obscurely at everyone, “Hi!”

Harry nodded towards her to keep moving. She rolled her eyes, playfully, and continued while he explained, “I know we’re all excited to have her here, but I want to remind everyone that while we’re in the room, we’re all students, and that includes Y/N. Let’s all focus on what we’re here for, so we don’t get lost when mid-terms get here, yeah?”

After another muttering of agreeance, Harry noticed Y/N getting settled in the back and he nodded, starting the lecture, “Okay, what I’d like to do is a one-minute warm-up on today’s exploration on duple and triple meter. So, I need everyone to stand up.”

The rustling of chairs echoed and screeched as students got to their feet. Soon, they were marching along to Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds by The Beatles, everyone laughing and feet stomping on the ground. He felt proud, seeing all the smiling, attentive faces in his direction and happy that throughout the lesson, nearly everyone had seemed to grasp everything that he was saying.

But, each time he glanced up in Y/N’s direction, he noticed that not only had she not even so much as picked up a pencil or opened her laptop, she had not looked away from him even once. He made a mental note to reprimand her after class and continued on.

When the lesson came to an end, Harry thanked the class for their cooperation and the students began to pack up their belongings. He watched as Y/N was met by a group of kids who were considered to be more ‘popular’ around campus. He saw her friendly smiles, but could barely hear her over the noise.

Once Harry managed to gather his things and toss his now-empty coffee cup in the trash, he approached the group, earning a pleasant round of hello’s by the students. One of the girls, Jesse, made sure to bat her eyelashes a little more and lean closer than necessary as she spoke.

“Great lesson today, Professor Styles. I did have a few questions about musical texture and was wondering if we could meet privately so I could get some more clarity on that?” she asked, twisting a lock of hair around her fingers.

Harry was used to Jesse’s incessant attempts at flirting with him and getting him alone, but he never took the bait, “I’m sorry, Jesse, I have no free office hours available, right now. But please shoot me an email with all of your questions and I’ll gladly help you out.” He heard sniggering from her friends as her face shifted into disappointment and he turned to Y/N, “Miss Y/L/N, when you’re done here, please meet me in my office so I can get you caught up.”

“Yes, Professor, I’ll be right there.”

He waited twenty minutes before he finally heard a knock on the door. He had half a mind to ignore it and let her stand out there, annoyed that he was wasting time trying to help an entitled celebrity who clearly had no interest in his class. What was the point? But, he thought back to the Dean, and reluctantly made his way to the door.

“Your students seem to really like you,” she confidently walked in, taking a seat on top of his desk and tossing her bag on one of the chairs, crossing her legs. “Especially that girl, what’s her name? Jesse?”

Harry blinked and slightly shook her head back before closing the door and rounding the desk she sat on towards his chair, not bothering to give the statement a response. But that didn’t stop her from continuing, “She’s like, in love with you. Well, maybe not in love. But you definitely make her horny.”

“Y/N!” You shoot back at the brassiness.

“She’s hot, I’ll give her that. But she’s definitely got that ‘daddy money’ vibe to her. She and her friends invited me to a party next weekend. And that kid, Mark, gave me his number. He’s pretty hot, too. Looks like some kind of jock.”

Harry nodded, shuffling his papers, “He’s here on a full-ride soccer scholarship.”

“Damn, I’m good,” Y/N leaned back, pressing her palms flat against the top of his desk, impressed with herself.

Harry looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. He wished he could say that her confidence astounded him, but honestly, he wasn’t that surprised. He could hazard a guess that her success was probably all handed to her. She joked about another student being given ‘daddy’s money’, but if he had to guess, she was probably the same.

He set the stack of papers down beside where she sat on his desk and looked up at her with a sigh, “Miss Y/L/N, my desk is not a chair. Please have a seat.”

She slithered down off the desk and plopped in a chair opposite him, scooting it closer and crossing her arms on the top, waiting for him to speak.

He relaxed his shoulders and continued, “You didn’t participate much in class today.”

“Well, you told me not to be a distraction.”

“Yes, but you’re still a part of the class. I expect more participation from you in the next class. And that includes note-taking. You won’t pass my class from memory. For now, I need to get you caught up.

Harry spent the next hour trying to get her caught up on the very first day of his class, which she interrupted every ten minutes, or so, going off-topic or asking very personal questions like ‘do you have a girlfriend?’ or ‘how many students have you been with?’ None of which he answered. When there were about ten minutes left in their time together, Y/N interrupted for the eighth time that hour and Harry groaned, unsure that she had retained any of the information he had provided her so far.

“What made you want to do this? Teach Musical Theory?”

He looked up at her and paused for a moment and she stared at him, her head cocked to the side. She looked genuinely interested, and it wasn’t often that he got asked these questions. He decided he’d entertain her, just this once.

Harry slid the paperwork away from him and sat back in his seat, “I’ve just always been interested in music since I was a kid.”

“Yeah, so have I. That’s why I became a musician. There are so many jobs in the musical field, why music theory?”

“Well, I am a musician. Not as big as you, obviously, but I have a small band and we play gigs around town. But the more I deep dove into music and the history behind it, the more I got into musical theory. It was a hobby and a passion before it was a career. And I guess I just wanted to show people how fun and interesting it could be.”

Y/N nodded, seeming content with his answer before saying, “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re a good teacher.”

“You’ve only been in one class,” he chuckled, sitting up again and straightening out his papers once more.

She giggled, “Yes, but it doesn’t take long to know when a teacher is good or not. I see the way you interact with your students and hear the way they talk about you. Everyone seems to love you. It’s part of the reason why I chose to come here.”

“My reputation precedes me?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Something like that,” she grinned, before softly speaking, “You know, we’re not all that different, you and I. I’ve been passionate about music for as long as I remember,” she laughed and said, “I remember when I was seven years old my mom took me to the library and I must have read at least six books, cover to cover, about Chopin. I knew everything about him and even named my pet rabbit after him. Everyone thought I was crazy.”

“Classical music?” Harry questioned, surprised.

She nodded, sitting up, “I’ve played piano since I was two.”

Harry pursed his lips, nodding his head, “Never judge a book by its cover.”

They stared at each other for a moment, silence filling the room. She looked more innocuous now; harmless as she sat with one leg crossed over the other. By this small conversation she had, she could see bits of himself in her eyes and it made him bring his guard down. For a moment, he was fascinated.

But her expression changed, more curious, as she asked, “So, how many lucky girls get the chance to have this one-on-one time with hottie Professor Styles?”

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples, “You exhaust me.”

“Or guys, I’m not judging,” she shrugged, “Though that would totally suck for Jesse. She’s really crushing.”

“I’ve never dated a student and I never will,” he said blandly.

“Never say never,” she smirked, “Why not?”

“Because they’re kids and it’s inappropriate.”

“Kids?” she snorted, “You’re barely four years older than most of your students. And everyone is of legal age.”

“I am not having this conversation with you,” he said, packing his things, “Our time is up. I’ve got to get going. I’ll see you in class next week.”

She grinned, gathering her things together and following him towards the door. As he reached for the door handle, she quickly put a hand on top of his, stopping him from turning it and making him look down at her as she said, “Don’t forget, Professor. Never say never.”

He watched as she opened the door and slipped out, turning her head once to wink back at him before she rounded a corner.

Harry found himself nervous and somehow anxious for the following week to arrive. It was the first time for years he had gotten there before any of his students. Every time the door opened and a student arrived, surprised by his early presence, he noticed he would jump and whip his head in the direction of the door. He tried to tell himself that he was just jittery or had too much coffee this morning, but he knew that wasn’t the reason.

When Y/N walked through the door, he felt his heart start to race.

“Good morning, Professor,” she smirked at him as she made her way up the steps towards the back of the class.

He nodded but didn’t respond. He felt stupid for not knowing what to say. There were so many options; hi, hello, how are you? Nothing. Harry watched out of the corner of her eye as she made a dramatic show of pulling out a notebook and a pen, sitting back in her chair and propping her legs up on the desk, making her short skirt slip up her thigh even more, waiting while she tapped her pen on the paper while the other arm was crossed over her stomach and her thumb grazed against her mouth.

He shook his head, pretending to search his briefcase for something as more students started to arrive, annoyed at himself for letting her get to him. In his four years of teaching, this had never been a problem before. How was she doing it?

Y/N waved as the group of kids she was seen talking to at the end of the last class squeezed in and they all excitedly waved back, making their way back to the seats in the row in front of her, spinning in their seats to talk. He wondered what they were talking about each time he saw her laugh or look down at him and hold eye contact.

The lecture started smoothly. He had them do another goofy exercise to get them ready for the class and was able to keep everyone’s attention as he explained notes and scales. Harry noticed the singer scribbling down in her notebook and was relieved to see she was taking notes this time. But what shocked him, even more, was her participation. The Professor, although known to make teaching and learning fun, was also known to ask a lot of hard questions throughout the class. Most, of which, the students rarely knew the answers to. That’s why he was surprised to see Y/N’s hand raised after nearly every question he asked, and even more taken back when her answers were right. Every single time.

Students began to become amused, automatically looking in between the two when a question would arise, and giggling at the incredulous expression on his face when she had, yet again, gotten the answer right. If he didn’t know any better, he would bet that by next week the class would turn it into some kind of a drinking game. He could have sworn he saw Y/N giggle under her breath and even blow a kiss.

After class, once again, Y/N was grouped on the steps by the rows of desks with Jesse, Mark, and their other friends. Y/N would twirl her hair and smile towards Mark and seemed to have him wrapped around her finger, but Harry also noticed how she’d look over Mark’s shoulder at him and bite her lip. She knew he’d be watching, and he hated himself for it.

Quickly, he packed his things and left the room, heading to his office to wait for her there, wondering what they were talking about. He closed the office door behind him, tossed his briefcase on the floor beside the paper shredder, and decided against turning the lights on. He blamed it on a splitting migraine, but it was really because there were too many intrusive thoughts running through his mind that he was doing everything he could to ease it, including pacing the room.

The attempts, however futile, were short lived. Minutes later there was a soft knock on the door and Y/N emerged, closing the door behind her, strutting right past him, and plopping on top of his desk again.

“How was that for participation, Harry?” she asked, propping a foot on the arm of his chair which made her skirt shimmy up her thigh just enough that if he were to look, he was sure he’d be able to see what she was wearing underneath.

He took a gulp and fought hard not to look down, lightly pushing her leg off of the arm of his chair so that both of her legs now hung down, taking a seat and crossing his arms, “It’s Professor Styles, and you did very well in class today, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Told you that I’d be a good student,” but her smile turned devilish as she spread her legs apart further and bent down closer to him, “But I can be bad if you’d like.”

“Please get off my desk and take a seat, Y/N. We’ve still got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Whatever you say, Professor,” she exaggerated, slowly slipping off of his desk and rounding to the other side.

Again, Harry tried his best to catch her up on lessons she missed, but it hardly seemed to get anywhere with Y/N’s constant interruption of inconsequential questions and arbitrary thoughts that seemed to almost pour out of her mouth without thought. He couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath a few times. She wasn’t boring, he’ll give her that much.

The more she fought against his attempts at teaching her, the more he realized that they weren’t going to get anywhere unless he gave her a little of what she wanted. So when she asked, “Do you have a girlfriend?” he sighed and ran his finger through his hair, giving in.

“No, I don’t. And why do you insist on coming to these meetings if you aren’t going to pay attention?”

“I am paying attention. You were talking about themes and motives of the piano and violin in Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony,” she said, confidently, crossing her arms, “I just think that it would be easier to come to class and learn if I knew my teacher a little better.”

He rolled his eyes at this attempt, but a smile crept on his face anyway, “What do you want to know?”

She smiled, sitting up, eagerly, “Well, it’s good to know you’re single. When was the last time you were in a relationship?”

He sighed, uncertain why he was even taking part in this conversation, “A little over a year.”

“And you haven’t tried again since?”

He shrugged, “I’ve been busy.”

“Or you were heartbroken.”

The response stung a little. She was right. And that annoyed him even more. How did she do this? Get under his skin so easily? Instead of answering that, he retorted with, “Well, what about you? You’re obviously single, otherwise, you wouldn’t be flirting so much with your professor or the soccer star.”

Her smirk stretched wider, “Oh, are we jealous of Mike?”

He scoffed, grabbing the few pieces of paper off of his desk and attempting to organize it in the side filing cabinet, “No, I’m not jealous of a student.”

“Mhmm. Well, for your information we were just talking about the party they’re having this weekend.”

He tried his best to look confused, although he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that party since she mentioned it last week, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it’s on Saturday. Not sure if I’m going yet. I’m sure my manager and PR would have my head if I was caught getting sloppy at a college party. Not good for the image,” she whispered, rolling her eyes.

He shrugged, “College parties aren’t all that great, anyway.”

“I’m sure,” she said sarcastically, “Anyway, I have a concert the night before, so I’m usually exhausted by the next day. You should come.”

“To your concert?” he asked.

She raised an eyebrow, skeptically, “Unless you don’t like my music?”

Harry shrugged, “I haven’t really heard much of it,” he lied, “but my sister’s a big fan.”

“Well, I’ll put you down for a plus-one. As long as it’s just your sister.”

Harry felt a lump beginning to form in his throat and he shook his head, “I already have plans for Friday. But thanks, anyway.”

She shook her head, nonchalantly, “Well, offer still stands if your plans fall through.”

He tried his best to reroute the conversation back on topic and was thankful that she seemed to finally go along with it. But as it neared the end of the hour, he felt her eyes on his face more and more. He looked up in the middle of his sentence and froze when he saw her eyes on his. She seemed entranced and almost out of it. And something seemed to pull him into the same trance as her.

It was the first good look at her that he had gotten since their first meeting. Her skin looked soft and her eyes sparkled when the sun’s rays shone on them at just the right angle. He hadn’t noticed until now that the bridge of her nose was slightly elongated and somehow endearing. And her lips. Those lips.

Y/N shook her head and stood up. It was the first time that she seemed to be caught off guard, and that stroked his ego a bit. He glanced down at his watch and noticed that they had run overtime and he gasped. She seemed to realize, too. Hurriedly, they both began to collect their things, but in the frenzy, she accidentally flicked her pen off the desk and it ricocheted on his side, landing on the floor near his briefcase.

“Oh!” he heard her mutter, rounding the desk where they both hastily attempted to grab it.

Harry was the first to grab it and as they both stood up, they were face to face with each other, inches away. They froze, again, unable to move. He saw something in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before; nervousness. Y/N was always such a confident force, and to see her any less than that admittedly made him gratified, like he had obtained a victory. But he, himself, was losing the battle. She was breaking him down one wink at a time, and he had never felt so weak in his life.

He could feel the strain of his desire pulling him closer towards her, the gloss on her lips looked enticing. If no one stopped him soon, he wasn’t sure if he could hold off much longer. He saw her eyes begin to flutter shut as the gap between them closed. Her sweet, minty breath swirled in front of his lips, he could almost taste it. And then a loud knock on the door echoed around his office.

Y/N flew against the wall while Harry awkwardly knocked his elbow against the back filing cabinet just as Jesse haughtily belted into the room. Her wide smile slowly screwed up into trepidation at the awkward tension that filled the room as the professor and singer avoided eye contact with each other.

“Jesse!” Harry quickly spoke, “What can I help you with?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you’d be finished. I just had a few questions about the essay, but I can just email you.”

“No, no, it’s fine, come in. Y/N was just on her way out.”

“Okay, cool,” Jesse smiled, stepping in further and placing her things on the chair opposite his desk.

Harry watched as the two girls exchanged friendly smiles, but he could see the slight embarrassment behind Y/N’s as she made her way towards the door.

“Don’t forget about this weekend!” Jesse called out after her, “I’ve never seen Mark so excited for a party before.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Y/N faked a laugh, sharing one last concerned look with Harry before closing the door behind her on the way out.

All week he found himself analyzing all of the occurrences that led up to him and Y/N almost kissing. He debated his sentiments, trying to logic every feeling of vulnerability and affection away with a simple explanation. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to pay attention to his work, constantly stumbling over his words of forgetting what he was talking about. When his class ended early on Friday afternoon and he sat in silence in his apartment, he stared at the blank television screen, contemplating whether or not he should take up her offer to attend her concert.

He paced the floor, opened and closed the fridge, tried to scroll through his social media apps, or read a book, anything to keep her mind off of her. He picked his phone up and stared at the home screen for a few minutes, constantly unlocking it when it got dark. With a final sigh, he opened it once more and dialed a number, putting it up to her ear.

“Hello, ya nimrod. What’s going on?” He heard his sister’s voice ring through the other end.

“How do you feel about going to a Y/N Y/L/N concert tonight?”

“You serious? Tonight? Bloody hell, yeah, I’ll go!”

“I’ll pick you up in two hours.”

Time only seemed to drag for Harry, left with nothing but his thoughts. It was enough time to go back and forth on whether or not he was making the right decision. Ultimately, he decided to go. He had already invited Gemma and he would feel guilty for bailing after getting her hopes up.

The sun was beginning to set and Gemma was singing loudly to Y/N’s lyrics in the passenger seat beside him. His palms were sweaty, gripped tight against the steering wheel. As the song ended, Gemma turned the volume down and turned to her younger brother.

“How did you get Y/N Y/L/N tickets, anyway? I didn’t know you listened to her like that.”

“I don’t, really. I mean, I’ve heard a few songs. But she’s my student and invited us to come.”

“She’s your student?” Gemma laughed, amused, “Cut the shit, Harry. How? Did you win them on the radio or something?”

“I’m serious. She’s taking my class.”

“What?” Gemma gasped, “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t think to.”

“You didn’t think to tell me that one of my favorite singers is a student of yours?” Gemma clarified. Eyebrows furrowed, she sat back and huffed, “Some brother you are.”

“Hey, now! I’m bringing you to her concert, aren’t I?”

The walk up to the ticket booth was one of the most humiliating things he had ever experienced as he uncomfortably explained who he was and that he was invited by the singer, herself. It took two people and a member of her staff to vouch for him before he and his sister were escorted through the venue and entered the pain event area through a private entrance that led them towards a VIP barricade towards the front of the stage. Thousands of screaming fans surrounded them, and Gemma looked around, shocked at the scene.

“This is insane!” Gemma shouted in his ear, bouncing on the balls of her toes.

Harry had to admit, it was pretty cool to see all of these people here for Y/N. He felt a sort of pride for her that he wasn’t quite expecting. And it didn’t take long for the lights to dim and the music to start.

He heard her before he saw her, and he felt his heart start to race again. He tried to play it off by the screams and the thumping bass, but when she finally came into view, he felt like he had been bolted to the floor, unable to move or talk or even smile. He was just stunned. Seeing her on stage was surreal. He knew of her, first, but it was hard for him to dissociate ‘student’ Y/N from ‘famous’ Y/N.

When they caught eyes and she realized he had come, a smile stretched across her face behind the microphone. He couldn’t help but mirror her, his shoulders relaxing as he managed a gentle wave. She walked closer to them on the stage, singing down at them, and he could hear his sister repeating ‘Oh my god, oh my god’ beside him as Y/N waved back in their direction.

Y/N was talented, there was no denying it. And the way that she interacted with her fans, you could tell that she was grateful for every second of it. It was touching. She was knocking down his assumptions about her little bit by little bit. He always thought that she’d be a spoiled, ungrateful celebrity, but that seemed to be completely false.

By the end of the concert, he had eased up and began to jump around, goofily, with his sister while Y/N watched, dancing around on stage, laughing and singing. Finally, the burly manager he had seen on the first day of their meeting with the Dean had approached him and his sister, informing them that they were invited backstage and to follow him.

His nerves began to rise in his chest again as they wove down several corridors until eventually, they stood before a door with Y/N’s name taped on it. The manager knocked loudly and waited a moment before they heard her voice on the other side call out, “Come in!”

With a turn of the knob, Y/N was now seen. She was in a new, more casual change of clothes and her hair was now up, but with visible beads of sweat lining her forehead and neck, she took a long swig of water.

“Hi!” she called, capping her drink and beckoning the two in, “Come in, come in! I’m so glad you came!”

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you,” Gemma tip-toed closer to her, smiling coyly as the door was closed behind them.

“It’s nice to meet you, too!” Y/N grinned, giving Gemma a much-wanted hug, “Please tell me you’re Harry’s sister.”

“Yes, I’m Gemma, his older sister.”

“Oh, thank god. I was worried he’d bring a date,” Y/N said, boldly, “He’s been playing hard-to-get.”

“You’re interested in my brother?” Gemma asked, astounded, “You’re way out of his league.”

Harry’s mouth fell open as Y/N laughed, “Yeah, and you’d think that’d be enough for him, wouldn’t you? But apparently he’s got standards,” she hyperbolized, rolling her eyes.

For an hour, Harry watched and laughed as Y/N and his sister talked and got to know each other more. They made jokes at his expense, and exchanged stories from their childhoods, shocked by how similar they seemed.

“You grew up around here, right?” Gemma asked the singer, taking a sip from her second beer of the night.

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, about fifteen minutes from here.” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, knowing the only residential area in a fifteen-mile radius wasn’t exactly known to be the best neighborhood. Y/N seemed to gather his thoughts, further explaining, “It wasn’t always easy. My siblings and I were cramped in a two bedroom apartment and we didn’t have our own phones until well into our teens. I missed out on a lot growing up, but my parents did their best. We had everything we needed. I was lucky to be able to get all this and get them out of that apartment. My parents deserved a big house and a yard. I owed them that much.”

“How did you do it? How did you get to this point?” Harry asked, astounded.

Y/N shrugged, “Right place, right time. I was found singing at the mall for a small gig at a Christmas event. The rest is hard work and history.”

Harry shook his head, speechless. He felt guilty for passing judgment on her before, assuming that it was all handed to her and that she had got her start because of her parents' connections. She was self-made, smart, and deserving of every bit of success that came her way.

After one more round of beers, it was getting time for them to leave. Harry could see the excitement in her sister’s eyes start to be replaced by fatigue, and as much as he wanted to stay and talk some more, he knew he had to get a jump start on grading papers.

He set his empty bottle of beer down and Y/N frowned, “Time to go?”

“Yeah, should probably head out,” Harry nodded, pausing for a moment and taking in the frown on her face. He didn’t have time to think before he blurted out, “Want to join us for the ride?”

Her eyebrows raised and her lips twitched up into a smile, “Yeah, sure.”

Gemma let Y/N take the passenger seat and Harry felt tense as he drove, hand shifting the gears right beside her leg. He smiled every time he heard her laugh, though he couldn’t quite pay attention to what the girls were talking about. He was able to gather that they exchanged phone numbers before he reached Gemma’s house. His sister gave them both kisses on the cheek before bounding up the steps to her home.

The silence was deafening and Harry was certain she could hear him gulp as he turned to her and asked, “Where to?”

He knew what she was going to say. He didn’t need to ask. But to hear it come out of her mouth was something almost too much to handle, “Your place.”

He reversed out of the driveway, barely croaking out, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why?” she asked, turning towards him.

“You’re still my student.”

“So? We can just talk.”

Harry turned and looked at her, giving her a knowing look, “You know it’s not to just talk.”

“Why can’t it be? You don’t have any self-restraint? Is it because you like me?”

Harry felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he fumbled out a, “No.”

“Well then, what’s the problem?”

“......Fine.”

There wasn’t another word uttered for the rest of the journey to his place and he began to overthink. Was his apartment clean? Had he done the dishes? How messy was his room? Did it smell? He knew he should have gotten that diffuser from the store last week.

His nerves rose as he led her up to his apartment complex, pushing the door open and flicking on the lights, breathing a sigh of relief to see that it was, for the most part, fairly tidy. Y/N walked past him, scanning the scene, and as he locked the door he also held his breath, waiting for her to say something.

“Nice view,” she noted, briefly looking out of the window before turning to face him.

He tossed his keys on the entry table and motioned towards the kitchen to his left, “Drink?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Tea? Coffee? Water?”

“Water’s fine,” she said, making her way towards his living room.

He took the moment to catch his breath, trying to regain control of his thoughts before joining Y/N on his couch, handing her the drink. They both took a swig and he felt her eyes bearing holes into him, again.

When he set his drink down, he turned to her, “You’re very intense, you know.”

She smirked, leaning into the couch some more, “Yeah. I just know what I want.”

“And what’s that.”

“You.”

The immediate response caught him off-guard, but he wasn’t surprised by the answer. At this point, he knew exactly what she wanted, and was only feeding his ego more. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by her and hadn’t thought about the same, but a part of him liked the chase.

He chuckled, sitting back, “You’re my student.”

She moved closer to him, more energetic this time, “I just happen to be into Musical Theory, that’s all.”

“You’re still my student,” he grinned, amused, patting her leg.

“So, what if I drop out? Would that change anything?”

Harry’s grin faded and his hand stayed where it was, resting on her thigh. He stared into her shining eyes again, seeing the seriousness behind them, and he froze, unsure of what to say. Would it change anything if she dropped out of his class? He wasn’t sure it would even need to come to that if she kept looking at him like that any longer.

His eyes flickered from her eyes, to her lips, and back up to her eyes as she waited for a response. He debated whether or not to just give in and kiss her right there. She wanted it, he wanted it, why keep fighting it? There weren’t any rules against relationships with students at his University, not like they’d even fight him on this one; they’re the ones that basically told him to give her everything she wanted.

But when he didn’t respond, Y/N pulled back away. He slumped, kicking himself for not pulling a move sooner. And after a moment of silence, she asked, “Hey, is it okay if I use your shower, real quick? I’m still sweaty from the show and I feel gross. I can take an uber home afterward.”

A million thoughts ran through his mind. Was that a move? Or an invite? Should he ask to join her? Why did she have to leave? He could drive her home, she didn’t need to take an Uber. But the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “Uh, yeah, sure.”

He showed her to the bathroom and went to grab her a towel from the linen closet as she adjusted the knobs and stuck her hand under the flow of water, gauging the temperature. By the time he got back in, she seemed happy with the warmth of the flow and took her hair out of its bun, placing the hair tie on the edge of his sink. He hung the grey towel on the rack beside the shower.

“Let me know if you need anything,” he muttered.

She smiled, “Thanks,” and before he was fully out of the room, she began to pull at the ends of her shirt. Quickly, he scurried out of the bathroom and closed the door to give her privacy.

Once out, his hands shot up to his forehead and he crouched, mumbling to himself a frustrated, “Fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you? Idiot!”

He sat impatiently on his couch, waiting for her to finish. When he heard the screech of the knobs turning and the pressure from the water fade, he shifted his position and quickly forced his attention elsewhere, trying to act casual. But when he heard the creak of the door opening, he turned his attention to see Y/N standing in the doorway, bathroom light glowing behind her, hair rang out and damp, clutching the towel around her body.

His eyes widened a bit as she spoke, “Do you have clothes I can borrow? Mine are still covered in sweat.”

“Uh, yeah, probably. In my room,” he stammered, getting to his feet and leading the way to his bedroom.

She followed, her feet lightly padding the wood floors. He felt almost embarrassed to have her in his bedroom. He wasn’t sure why, it’s not like it was dirty and he didn’t have anything oddities displayed, still, it was an intimate space, and to have her there felt personal.

He opened the bottom drawer of his dresser where he kept his pajamas and motioned towards it, standing up straight, “You can borrow anything from here.”

She bent down in front of him to rummage through, giving him a better look at her back. It looked clean, soft, and supple as droplets of water still lined her back and dripped from the ends of her hair, getting absorbed by the thin white towel she had wrapped around her. When she stood up, he took a step back and she turned, holding one of his oversized white t-shirts and a pair of his plaid pajama pants.

He stood there, unable to move as she stared at him, raising an eyebrow. And still, as she tossed the clothes on the bed behind him, he found himself, once again, rooted to the spot. A smirk started to form on her face and her voice was soft and playful as she spoke.

“How’s that self-restraint going?” she teased.

He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He just looked at her. And when her playful smile began to shift into something more alluring, he held his breath, watching as she untucked the towel around her chest and let it fall to the ground. His eyes instantly dropped to her exposed chest and he felt his heartbeat pounding rapidly in his chest as she stepped closer to him, barely twelve inches, refusing to take her eyes off of his.

“I know you want to,” she whispered, stroking his arms before taking hold of his hands, lifting them and placing them on her chest, “Touch me.”

He felt his erection becoming uncomfortable as he ran out of room in his pants for growth, massaging her chest. His attention roamed back up, locking eyes with her again. There was no stopping it.

************************************************** In a bout of passion, they threw themselves at each other, hungrily attaching their lips to one another, tongues circling and roaming the other’s mouth. Y/N tore fabric after fabric off of him as they spun, grabbing at each other roughly and without deliberation. Soon, they were both naked and knocking into walls and tripping over clothes.

Harry pushed her up against the dresser as she grabbed hold of his dick, pumping her hands up and down his shaft as he moaned into her mouth.

“Does that feel good, Professor?” she bit his lip with a smile.

“Ungh,” he grunted, pulling away. He spun her around so that her back was to his chest, and forced her down to bend over his dresser, propping one of her legs up on the top of it before he got to his knees, burying his face in her muff.

She cried out, “Yes! Teach me, Professor!”

He flicked his tongue inside of her, lapping up all of her juices while he rubbed himself. He could have kept going for hours, but he could feel her legs start to tremble. When he stood up, he slapped his cock on her ass a couple of times, swiping his tip against her entrance enough to get it lubricated before slipping right into her.

Y/N threw her head back, breathing, “Oh my god, you feel so good, Harry.”

He wrapped an arm around her neck while his other hand clasped over her mouth as he grunted, “Professor Styles,” before sucking on her shoulder blade.

When he loosened his hand from her mouth to take hold of her hip, she whined, “I’m so sorry, Professor Styles. I’m not always bad.”

“No, Y/N,” he pulled out of her, spinning her to face him, tempting her as he walked backwards towards his bed, “You’re my good girl.”

The back of his legs hit his bed and he scooched himself back, letting her climb over top of him, straddling his hips. She bent down, biting his lip again as she lowered herself onto him, gasping as her cunt swallowed him up.

She leaned back, letting him get a better look at her, breasts jumping up and down along with her. He ran a hand from her cleavage down to her navel, grazing her soft skin and watching as her mouth formed an ‘o’, scrunching up her eyebrows in pleasure as she called out his name.

“That’s a good girl,” he breathed, an arm behind his head as he watched, “Make me cum.”

She rode him faster, breathing heavier as he continued to grunt, propping himself up now and suckling on her skin. Her breaths became more shallow and her movements more rigid as she wrapped her arms around his neck, forcing herself onto him even harder. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her down onto him, even more, to go deeper. He could feel her throbbing around him, which only made him more aroused.

“Good girl, Y/N,” he breathed, “Cum on my dick.”

She buried her face into the crook of his neck, and with three more pumps she let out a scream as she said, “Pro-fessor Styles!”

He smirked, quickly flipping her on her back and pumping harder and faster into her as her legs wrapped around his waist. She panted, squeaking as he grunted into her. He looked into her eyes which were full of lust as she stared back into him and he could feel himself start to build up. Even faster now, knowing he was about to finish, he smashed his lips down on her quickly before pulling out and squirting his jizz on her stomach, letting her rub out every last drop.

*******************************************

He collapsed on the bed beside her as they panted, trying to catch their breath before he got the strength to reach down and grab his shirt for them to clean up the mess.

When he turned to face her, she smirked, “Do I need to drop your class? Or can we fuck in your office next time?”

He let out a breathy laugh and mumbled, “That depends. Are you going to the party with Mark tomorrow?”

“Do you want me to?” she retorted.

With a deep breath, Harry shimmied closer to her, nuzzling his head into her chest which made her wrap her arms around him, running her fingers through her hair as he whimpered, “No.”

She laughed, kissing his curly brown locks, “Told you I’d make you fall in love with me.”

------------------------------------

Taglist:

@odetostep @mylittleangel9403 @thurhomish @fallingfordolans @gwenlovesharrystyles , @harryswinterberries, @gucciboots, @golden-grande, @ilovedogs1989 @f4llingfairy

[twomoonstwosuns]

zoom [bonus chapter]

back to you [series masterlist]

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warning: smut (18+), language, fluff

word count: 2.1k

a/n: we can all thank zoom university for this chapter, i hope you like it

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Poe was not prepared to shift his class from in-person to online. 

He had a feeling deep in his gut this could happen. The virus had hit every state in the country and was spreading at an incredibly high rate. Vacations were being refunded, flights canceled…yours and Poe’s annual spring break trip to Kes’ one of them. It sucked, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Everything was closing down - restaurants, retailers, movie theaters…soon it would be the universities. Spending spring break at home gave Poe time to get his classes online so he’d have something to teach his students when classes resumed. 

You were a week and a half into working from home when Poe got the news about a temporary campus shutdown. He was told that classes would be completely online for two weeks following the end of spring break, but the rapid rise in cases and declining hospital capacity made it unsafe and President Organa made the decision that classes would stay online until the end of the semester. The only one who had been truly thrilled about this decision was Beebs. 

To say it was a little bit of struggle for Poe would be an understatement. He hated doing things on the fly; he liked to be prepared. He also loved being in the classroom with his students. Zoom University took that away from him, but at least he still had a job. And for that he was grateful. 

Your job offered a little more leniency, though furlough rumors that were just whispers at the virtual water cooler were becoming more audible each day that passed. With just a couple of meetings a week, both with your creative team and one-on-one with your boss, you were pretty much on your own. That meant you were able to get up and move around while you were working. You rotated through different rooms in your brand new house, but more often than not you ended up across from Poe at the dining room table with your headphones in. 

You’d sometimes crash his classes when you needed a break from work or when you were bored because you were done with work. You’d make faces at him, write something funny on a whiteboard or notebook and hold it up for him to read, or obscenely lick a lollipop or spoon. Even though your college career had come to an end, you were still hot for teacher and when you sat across from him and watched him teach with the enthusiasm you admired, you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering back to the dirty thoughts you had about him when you were his student. 

You also wondered just how far you could act on those dirty thoughts and one warm April day fresh into being furloughed gave you the perfect opportunity. 

Walking into the kitchen, your bare legs caught Poe’s attention from the dining room. The hem of his t-shirt reached your upper thigh and you made sure to stretch up on your tiptoes to grab a cup from the very top shelf just so he’d get a flash of your sexy barely there black lace underwear. The complete sentences he’d been talking in were disrupted and he stumbled over his words as the sight of you took over. You poured yourself a glass of water, leaning against the counter as you took a sip and stretching your legs out.

“Babe?” Poe temporarily muted himself, leaning just far enough out of the frame to lick his lips and stare at your legs. “Can I have a glass of water?”

The little sway you put in your hips continued to keep him a little unfocused as you grabbed another glass and filled it with water. You set it down beside his computer and he took a huge gulp of it before looking back at his computer when one of his student’s grabbed his attention. 

“What exactly do you want out of this essay? The question seem a little vague.”

As he started to answer her question, Poe failed to see you slip underneath the table. Your hands tugging on his sweatpants made him gasp and his jaw drop ever so slightly. You shot him a flirty smile and put your finger over your lips. His head snapped back up as he remembered his class was watching him. 

“Sorry, um…m-my dog licked my foot and I didn’t know he was under the table.”

You had to bite back a laugh to keep from revealing his lie as the girls in his class audibly swooned. Beebs was currently on the living room couch taking his early afternoon nap, though he had made an appearance on camera before due to some incessant barking over a couple of squirrels. You bit your lip to keep from making any noise as you dipped your hand under the band of his sweats. Poe visibly gulped as you wrapped your hand around him. 

“The, uh…the prompts are meant to be broad so you can, um…” He let out a breath as you pumped him slowly. “Are you…h-how many of you are having trouble with the prompts?”

A few of his students raised their hands and he swallowed hard. His voice shook as he tried his best to not concentrate at the pleasure he was beginning to feel from your hand. 

“O-Okay…um…” Poe nearly choked on his words at the touch of your tongue on the tip of his cock. Your mouth suddenly enveloped him, head bobbing at a teasing pace. 

“Sorry, um…whatever comes to mind when you think of the question is what I want your essay to show.” He was powering through, focusing completely on the twenty pairs of eyes that were on him. “Send me an email with your ques—“

His breath caught in his throat as his cock slid closer to the back of your throat. He cleared his throat and stuck his hand in your hair, grabbing it in a vice grip and holding your head in place. “—questions. If you want to attach a rough draft, you can and I can give you some feedback. Sound okay?”

His students collectively nodded and you hollowed your cheeks and sucked, making Poe squirm in his seat. 

“Perfect. Alright, um…I-I have to prep for my next class so I-I’ll see you all on Thursday.”

He loosened his grip on your hair and you started moving your head again. Whatever willpower he had left he used to leave the meeting, a loud groan erupting from deep in his chest when he knew he was in the clear. He threw his head back as he touched the back of your throat again, pulling another helpless moan from him. 

“That was—“ He shifted again in his seat and you held his thighs to keep him still, the way your mouth was taking him so deep making him squirm. “Fuck baby, that was cruel.”

You popped off of him and smirked, running your tongue along the length of him. “Was it though?”

Poe chuckled and moaned again as you took him back into your mouth. His hands slipped into your hair and he looked down at you. Your face was half hidden by the table and despite being in your own home, the whole thing felt erotic and a little bit porny. He tensed in his seat and his breathing picked up and it was then that you decided to release him and come out from under the table.

“Why’d you stop?” Poe asked as he pushed his chair back from the table. You eyed the way his cock laid against his lower stomach. 

“You have class in fifteen minutes.”

Smirking, Poe pulled you towards him by the front of your shirt, grabbing your thighs and moving you into his lap. 

“We need to make this quick then.” The dark, lust-blown look in his eyes showed he was serious and he laughed at the look on your face. “Don’t look so surprised, you started this…now I want you to finish it.”

You responded by rubbing your clothed core over his cock. He grabbed your hip and held you still as he pulled your panties to the side. Grabbing his cock and giving him a few more pumps, you lined him up with your entrance and sunk down onto him, seating yourself in his lap and taking him all the way in on the first pass. 

“You are so fucking wet.” He exhaled deeply, the feeling of being inside of you a sensation he’d never get tired of. A smirk crossed your face as you started to grind against him. 

“Its a turn on watching you squirm.”

You cupped his cheeks and kissed him hotly, your tongue sliding into his mouth as you moved up and down in his lap. He swallowed your moans, his hands squeezing your ass before moving up to your hips and guiding you. You tore your lips away from him to moan out a drawn out “fuck!” as he hit that spot that made your toes curl, your head falling back in complete ecstasy. 

“You gotta move faster than that if you want to come, sweetheart.” His words, deep and breathy, were felt across your lips. “We’re finishing this before my class starts whether you come or not.”

“I could just go into the other room and finish myself off.”

He kissed down to your neck, a breathy moan coming from you as he sucked a hickey onto it.

“Not a fucking chance.”

The chair beneath you rocked as you bounced in his lap, the tips of your toes on the carpet giving you leverage. Poe suddenly grabbed your thighs and stood up, ignoring your yelp of surprise and setting you down onto the table. He pushed his laptop away and his glass of water fell to the ground with a quiet thud. Either he didn’t notice or he didn’t care as he snapped his hips against yours at a punishing speed. A cry of pleasure left your lips at the sudden change in ferocity and you nearly jumped when his thumb made contact with your clit. His free hand caught your calf and kept your leg up around his waist, giving himself the perfect angle to drive deeper into you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your back arched off of the table as you dug your fingers into his back. His name fell from your lips with each brush of his cock against your g-spot. 

Poe came with a loud moan, his resolve disappearing in hopes that he could get you off first. But you weren’t far behind, his sloppy thrusts and quick movements against your clit enough to send you toppling over the edge. Your body convulsed with pleasure and a gentle bite to your neck made you gasp. Both of you were breathless as his thrusts slowed, eventually coming to a stop. He lifted you once again, his cock staying inside you as he moved back into his chair. 

“How am I supposed to face my class on Thursday?” A soft smile gracing his handsome face as he looked at the mess he made of you, your cheeks flushed with exertion and hair falling into your face. “They’re not stupid, they totally knew what was going on.”

A breathless giggle left your lips as he cupped your cheek. “That’s for you to figure out. It better be good though, because I doubt they bought the Beebs excuse.”

He chuckled as he kissed you gently, the kind that let butterflies loose in your stomach. Your hand covered the one resting on your cheek and you pulled it away to look at the time. “Three minutes.”

“Perfect timing,” he said as you carefully stood up and readjusted your panties. He tucked himself back into his pants and grabbed his computer to log into his next class.

“We’re masters at quickies,” you said as you leaned down and kissed him once more before heading towards the bathroom to clean yourself up. “Have fun in class!”

Chances were very high that Poe would get you back for this sometime in the next week or so. The way you two teased each other, you knew he’d try to hold out as long as possible and catch you completely off guard. It was such a fun and simple way to mix things up in lockdown. After all, you and Poe were practically experts in bunkering down at home, unable to go out in public and having to find ways to entertain yourselves. 

You supposed you could actually thank Hux for that. 

tag list - @ah-callie @tinygaydemonbby @gloomygoregirl @leilei-draws @imaginecrushes @i-ievu @brianamaree @yeeintensifies @spider-starry @krazykatkay456 @millllenniawrites @afootnoteinyourhappiness @my-child-gaara @myrandom-fandomlife @onebatch--twobatch @the-cry-of-youth @p3nny4urth0ught5 @porgiez @galaxy-of-stories @seeking-a-great--perhaps @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @dameronsgalaxygal @mserynlarsen @linibirdimagine @starrykitn @cloud-leader @liadamerondjarin @april-14-blog @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @xremember-me-notx @obiwanownsmyass @princessxkenobi @yourbucky084 @frietiemeloen @softly-sad @xxidontwikeitxx @roserrys @clairesmunchkin @justanotherblonde23 @voidmonny @neaveloren

[carelessannie]

maybe it goes like this: tony courts peter (part 2)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten

Read on A03

Read the Stuckony backstory WIP

Starker focus (Tony x Peter), Winteriron (Tony x Bucky), with reference to Stucky, Stony and Stuckony

This is the “meet... awkward” for my AU, and takes place roughly 8 months before the first chapter. Enjoy!

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, OmegaSub!Peter, BetaDom!Tony, OmegaSwitch!Bucky, AlphaDom!Steve, Heavy Awkward Flirting, Cute Nicknames, Kinda Sexy Winteriron

Maybe it goes like this:  

8 Months Earlier

Peter is looking forward to seeing his Pack after class, definitely needing to cuddle up with Annie in their nest tonight. And maybe Clint will bring home pizza. It’s been a long-ass day.

Okay, definitely pizza.

From the front of the class, Peter can hear his professor introducing the guest lecturer, and he drags his backpack around to his seat to unlock his laptop and notebook. Just as he logs in and dates his notebook page, Peter looks up to see the most attractive man in New York walk through the door, smile to the class, and introduce himself.

Tony.

Tony Stark?

No Way. The Tony stark?

Peter's ears ring, and he swears he sinks three feet into the floor.

Mr. “just call me Tony” Stark is saying something about BioMolecular Engineering, about class credit, about new processes in the industry, about independent research opportunities, about the— wait.

Peter jerks in his seat, mouth ajar, as The Tony Stark lists benefits of working in his research lab for Stark Industries, a dream Peter has nursed since high school. He barely hears the rest of the presentation, focusing on closing his mouth and blinking, keeping hot Arousal out of his scent, adjusting himself in his pants—

“—and I’ll take questions up front if you have them, thanks."

There’s a round of lazy applause, as students start to pack up and file out, and Peter shakes himself, You have to talk to him. He scribbles a few questions on his notebook and throws everything into his backpack, floating across the classroom and to the back of the line.

When he finally steps up, both of them freeze. Peter restrains himself from scenting the older man right there in the classroom because hot damn .

Peter lets out a short gasp of “hellomynameisPeterParker,” thrusting his hand forward, and is pulled in for a firm handshake, Tony Stark looking into his eyes with a vaguely amused expression.

Peter lets go, reluctantly, and stutters out, “M-mr. Stark? I think I’d be interested in the semester research opportunity.”

“Of course, Peter Parker,” Tony turns and grabs a StarkPad, scrolling briefly before handing it over to Peter, “if you want to fill it out today, feel free. It’s an equal opportunity research grant, and provides a weekly stipend for the duration of the program.”

Mr. Stark continued with details, as Peter quickly puts his information in the application and presses “submit.” He peers up at the older man, Beta? Probably? Most of what he can scent is spice and fire– maybe cinnamon, or chai like Clint? It’s hard to tell without throwing his face into the man’s neck, and inhaling deep–

“Mr. Parker? Pete?”

Peter’s head shoots up, and he realizes he’s been still for too long without responding, and immediately goes to apologize, “Oh, I-i’m so sorry, Mr. Stark, I just… I finished the application? Shouldn’t I submit– or, sorry– send in a resume? Sorry.”

Mr. Stark keeps his expression schooled, but Peter can tell that he’s holding back a smile. Dammit Parker, way to nail the first impression. He shifts on his feet, biting his lip as Mr. Stark shakes his head slowly.

“No, it’s okay Peter. Our admin team will review the first round of applications by department, and send out an email link for further information, alright?” he gives into his smile, reaching out as if to... what, comfort Peter? But aborts the motion and crosses his arms, flexing slightly under his navy suit.

“Do you have any other questions, Peter?”

“No, n-no not right now, sorry, thank you Mr. Stark, sir. Um. Okay? I’ll see you later?” and Peter beats a hasty retreat out of the classroom, feeling his scent shift Embarrassed and hot tears prick his eyes.

Why does he always give a terrible first impression?

—

Tony stands, shocked in the empty classroom, schooling his scent and his breathing.

Thank you Mr. Stark, sir.

He collects his things in a haze, heading back to his pack and thinking about the gorgeous omega who just called his name.

Damn. His Alpha and Omega are gonna want to hear about this.

2 Weeks Later

Tony is straightening up the last few items in the R&D lab, hearing Pepper’s complaints of You need to care about your work space, Tony and You need to prepare a safe space for interns to work, Tony. And Pepper is right, of course, so Tony keeps cleaning.

He hears the doors swish open, and sighs, schooling his expression to neutral. He whirls around, raising his hands to defend himself against what he assumes is a new portion of nagging from Pepper, and instead–

The pretty omega from NYU.

What? “What are you–” Tony starts, watching as– Parker? Pete, Peter?– clutches a bag close to his chest, large doe eyes widening in shock and fear and… yup, there it is, FearShockEmbarassed Omega scent floods the lab as Peter takes a step backwards, lips opening and closing in shock.

“Hey, are you–”

“I’m so sorry, I–”

Tony shakes his head, stepping a little closer, “No, it’s okay, Peter? Right? From NYU?” with a nod in confirmation, Tony barrels ahead, “I thought you were– no, it doesn’t matter. Are you, are you here for the internship?”

“Y-yes, I’m sorry, they said to come at noon, but I thought I’d get here early and, god I can’t believe it, I’m so sorry, I’ll just wait– uh, wait outside?” Peter stutters through the explanation, lowering his eyes and backing towards the door to retreat into the hallway.

“No, like I said Peter, it’s okay, honestly,” Tony looks around quickly, trying to find a seat for the started young man, and yanks out the stool to his workbench, “here, sit down, please?”

There’s a moment of stillness as Peter looks between the stool and Tony, muttering something under his breath and setting his jaw in determination. Damn this boy is adorable, and Tony forces himself to keep a neutral expression as the om– the intern – walks across the room and sets down his backpack. Tony turns to the other side of the desk to give Peter some space, and clears the last of the notebooks into a nearby drawer.

He wants to start a conversation with Peter, fingers twitching in the unbearable silence, but is saved by the lab doors opening again, revealing Pepper leading five lost looking interns into the room. She leads so gracefully, he thinks, and feels his scent turn Fond and Proud for the Beta. Pepper sits each intern down, greeting Peter as well, and before he knows it, orientation and introduction are underway. The interns have their own work benches, and Pepper lets another supervisor take over the first day paperwork.

While the interns work in silence, Tony refuses to fixate on Peter, even though he takes to the research environment so beautifully. He's smart, he makes the funniest sarcastic quips when he thinks no one is listening, and he's kind of quiet, but always speaks up when he has a strong opinion.

Tony keeps his interactions unbiased among the other interns, mostly betas and one alpha, and is so relieved when the day ends and the students finally shuffle out of the lab. Peter ends up last to leave, staring at Tony and nervously licking his lips as he shoulders his bag. He seems to hesitate.

“Yeah, what’s up Pete?”

“Oh… no, right, see you tomorrow?” Peter shifts back and forth on his feet.

Tony smiles, “Of course, early bird,” and honestly can’t help his eye twitching, helplessly, in a wink.

Peter stutters out some type of goodbye, and flutters back through the door.

Tony blows out a breath, “JARVIS, call Bucky.”

—

“So what you’re tellin’ me is, you’ve somehow managed to find a smokin’ hot–”

“Beautiful,” Tony interrupts, “and compatible–”

“Right, smokin’ hot, compatible omega, and you… hire him?”

“I mean, technically I didn’t hire him personally–”

“Tony–”

“No, you know what, I get it. It’s my fault I can’t have him. But Bucky, I swear he’s so damn smart, and I can’t even let myself hope about his orientation,”

Bucky groans audibly over the line, but Tony protests again, “–because I swear he would submit so beautifully, Bucky, I can just see it. And remember how I said he called me sir?”

“How could I forg–”

“It’s all I can think about. I don’t wanna be overbearing, but I’m completely helpless around him and have no idea what to do. Bucky, I winked at him. Winked. And he ran away so fast.”

He can hear Bucky laughing at him over the line, that idiot, and Tony drops his head in his hands.

“Want my advice, sweetheart?” Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “I think you should take it slow and court ‘im. Sounds like it could be awhile before you can make anything official, and what is he, like eighteen?”

“... Twenty.”

“Okay, twenty. He probably isn’t looking for a permanent pack anyways, alright? Get to know ‘im at work, and as soon as you can, you should also put a stop to him seeing you as his boss,”

“Wait, but–”

“No, Tony. As much as it feels great for this little omega to call you ‘Mr. Stark’ and ‘Sir,’ if you want anything more with this guy, you have to work to even out the relationship a bit.”

Tony slumps down into a seat, sighing dramatically. Bucky goes silent as Tony processes what he’s saying. A thought occurs to him,

“Wait, is that how Steve got you?”

Bucky snorts, “Yeah, you know our Alpha’s ‘bout as subtle as a dump truck. His advice is gonna be, ‘sit the omega down, state your intentions to court him, communicate clearly,’ all that shit,” another laugh, this time fonder, “I’m just sayin’ to save that for later, okay? Take it slow.”

Heading towards the door, Tony signals for JARVIS to move the conversation to his phone as he heads home. He pops in an earpiece for the call, and makes sure Bucky is still on the line.

“Yeah, I’ll take your advice Bucky-bear. Hey, are you home?” Tony taps his foot as the elevator descends to the parking garage, feeling a familiar itch starting under his skin.

“Yeah I am, Steve’s out until later... why, what’s up?”

He gets out of the elevator, heading for his car, “I think all this talk of the perfect omega has me missing you. Wanna do something soft and dirty when I get home?”

Bucky hums, the sound sweet and tempting, even over the phone line, “Whaddya have in mind, my Beta?”

“Oh you know I love when you call me that,” Tony peels out onto the main road, heading towards their coastal property, their home, “I want you to contact Steve and ask him to pick up dinner, your choice. I’ll tell him what my plan is for you tonight, so he won’t be surprised. I’ll be there in thirty-five minutes and want you in the red room, ready to play, understood?”

Tony can hear Bucky breathing quicker over the phone as he responds, “Yes, Beta.”

“My good omega. And for now, let’s not tell our Alpha about Peter. Not unless it gets serious, okay?”

“Mmm okay, Tony. Hurry home,” and Bucky ends the call.

Tony steps on it.

[nandolonso]

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS (John Wick X Reader)

("TEACHER" X STUDENT COLLEGE AU)

Pairing: John Wick x Reader (AU - ish?)

Summary: John Wick lives a different life before his "retirement". He becomes a sort of vigilante, who is taking out the bad guys. His next goal is to catch a drug dealer who mainly distributes in Y/N's college. However, after meeting Y/N, not only Y/N's life turn upside down but also John's.

Word count: 8281

Warnings: ugh, so many. But it's John Wick, so... blood, swearing, college, anxiety, panic attacks, loneliness, shyness, angst, slow-burn, age gap, smut, DIRTY SMUT, fluff. 

ALSO, IM NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER OF ENGLISH SO PLEASE FORGIVE MY MISTAKES!

Author’s note: GUYS!! I've found this fanfic deep down in my-never-posted-writings and I was re-reading it when I thought, this is just utter shit, let me post that (lol), I hate myself. 😂 I was cringing at some part, but I managed to write them over, so it is a little bit bearable. I don't know if you'll like it, but I hope you do. I wanted to post something to cheer you up in this hard time. I wish the best for all of you. ♥️ The inspiration came from some many places, but mostly from "calling teachers by their first name" videos. You'll see why I got the idea from it... After that, I've given some thought about "fake" teacher John and gosh... let me tell you, it got me hot and bothered. Also inspired by 21/22 Jump Street. Please, please, leave some feedback.

P.S.: Sadly, I don't know any Italian, so thank you for Google Translation for "sponsoring" this fic lmao.

*

This was your very last year of college. More specifically, your last semester. Thank God. You could not be happier as you thought about it. Even though you enjoyed studying, you were overwhelmed with your lectures as you were a maximalist and wanted to give 100% in everything. You enjoyed learning and finding new topics but the assignments, the presentations, and the exams stressed you out incredibly. You did not apply for any further study at least at the moment as you wanted to rest a little bit and work somewhere till you find out what you really wanted to achieve in life. 

The first week went by quite easily, as the teachers mostly talked about the syllabus and what you can expect from the rest of the semester. Thankfully, everyone seemed kind of nice except your Italian teacher and his lesson, which you took up as an optional course in the first place since you wanted to earn some extra credits. Now, it seemed like a bad decision. The teacher was old, who did not enjoy his teaching at all. It was difficult to follow and boring, not to mention that he continually talked in Italian even though it was a beginner's course. When the others tried to tell him, he became mad and gave out even more assignments for next week.

So now, that you were sitting in class and waited for him the nervousness which you felt was understandable. You were chatting with one of your classmates who sat behind you. You could not say that you had any friends. You were mostly alone in your whole life, which sometimes was a curse, while other times it was a blessing. You opened up for so many people who disappointed you and let you down that this was the safest way of living your life now. Just talk to someone if necessary, otherwise living your life as you wish. Sometimes it was really depressing as there was basically no one to talk to, you could not share any interest with someone, not your desires, your goals, nothing. Even when you did, you became the focus of mockery.

Suddenly everyone became silent as most certainly, the teacher approached into the room. However, when you turned around your last week's grumpy teacher was nowhere to be found, instead of him, you meet with a totally different man. You looked straight him into the eye as you took up his presence. He was tall, he had a skinny physique but you could certainly see that he was muscular, even though the black shirt and jeans he wore covered his entire body. He had dark, semi-long hair which was slicked back, while he also had dark stubble, which was framing his face aesthetically. Now, his dark brown eyes laid on you and it was like it burned a hole into your soul. He had some characteristic which you could not explain, but you were sure that he was attractive. Very much. And exactly your type. Not to mention that he was older than you, around his mid-30s - early 40s, which you thought was the perfect age as you were always fond of older men.

"Uhm... hey everyone" he started as he finally looked away from you to gaze at the others as well. His voice sent shivers down your spine. It was deep and husky. "I'm John Wick and I'll substitute your last teacher, who became ill. He will turn up as soon as he feels like it, but we don't know when that will happen," he stated. Maybe, the previous teacher would have been better. Now, it will be really hard to focus and now you wanted to study even more just to impress him, which is sounded insane. You immediately started to curse yourself in your head because what you did was completely silly.

"I'm not by any means an Italian teacher, but I'm fluent in Italian, as I've lived in Italy and since this is a beginner's and optional course I thought I will be just as good for this short time as Y/LT/N would have been." as he finished he clapped his palms together, facing towards the desk which now became his. "Firstly, let's start with an introduction and what your goals are, and from that on we can move with the rest of the lecture," he said and turned and pointed towards you. This gesture was unexpected for you and you immediately felt that your cheeks burned up as you tried to collect yourself. You were a great student but you were dealing with anxiety when you had to speak in front of others. Your mind and desires were totally different that you could actually manage out from yourself, and this was true in every situation.

"Uhm..." you started as you cleared your throat. "I'm Y/N and I'm a final year student here. To be honest, I don't really have many goals at the moment, because..." the way he was looking at you completely took your breath away. It was like he sees all of your secrets. "...I want to take a little bit of break from studying after I've finished. I want to work somewhere, see the word. Just those cliché things that usually everyone says." he started to chuckle and honestly, it was the best thing ever.

"Thank you, Y/N" the way your name rolled out of his tongue was beautiful. "I hope everything turns out great for you and one day you even get to Italy as well." he smiled and turned to the next person, so the magic moment you felt completely disappeared within a second. He was just nice. With everyone. He listened to everyone's word with actual interest and wished something friendly before turning to the next person. How could you think that he sees something different in you?

The course actually ended sooner than you would expect, the time flew with him. He gave you a short assignment for next week, collecting all those things you would like to talk about in Italian. On your way out you glazed at him once more, however, his eyes were glued to the paper in front of him. You left out a soft sigh as you left the room.

*

This was the first time in your college years that you really waited for a lecture but at the same time, you also dreaded from it. You could not wait to meet John again or you could say Mr. Wick, but this just fueled your fantasy about him even more. You were sitting in the front row with your classmates, whom you talked about your new teacher. They were eagerly fond of him, but not as you did. Even though they find him attractive, he was just a teacher for them. However, for you, he started to become something else. You could feel something different from him and you thought that he should not be a teacher because it was just not his field. Not that he was a bad teacher or anything, but he was not that teacher type that you could imagine. You felt something which you could not explain. You were always a curious person, and this case was like a puzzle that needed to be solved.

"Buona sera a tutti! (Good evening, everyone!)" he greeted, his eyes lingering on you. You did not want to look away, so the two of your's gaze intertwined with each other for a few seconds. You managed to smile a little bit, but at that same time, he turned away. He was just as good looking as the last time, wearing a light grey t-shirt, regular jeans, and a leather jacket. How could he be this handsome?

"Okay, let's go through those things which you like to learn about, and then we can build the lecture from there." everyone nodded as he said it, preparing their notes on what they would be interested in learning in this course. Your eyes were glued on your paper, your head tilted down trying to avoid eye contact with him when you heard your name.

"Y/N" he stated. "Let's start with you just like last time." you were quite shocked. Nobody managed to remember their students' names in the first weeks. Hell, sometimes not even at the end of the semester either. You looked up at him, seeing his face focusing on you, slightly furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

"Ordering food..." you breathed out and you started to blame yourself immediately.

"Ordering food in Italian in a restaurant?" he helped you out, stating as it was a declarative sentence, but he shifted the tone in the end. You were grateful for his help. You nodded and he returned a smile to ease your frustration. "Nice, good idea," he said. "Let's move on."

*

The first months of the semester went by rapidly. The first two weeks was just a warm-up, but after that assignments came after assignments as so did exams and such. You could not fantasize about Mr. Wick anymore in your free time as you were loaded with anxiety to finish every task just in time. However, you always waited for the class, even though your mind wandered somewhere else. Thankfully, about two weeks spring break will come.

"You can handle your assignments on your way out. That's the end of the class. Thank you everyone." he said and at that point, you realized that you completely forgot about your essay which you should have written for today. You thought that is due next week. Well, fuck. Basically, everyone handled in their assignment, as you approached John you became very nervous. You did not really know what to say.

"Jonathan" the words fell out of your lips without thinking. You realized that what you said was rude and you just tried to make the situation better, even though your teacher's expression did not change. "John... I mean Mr. Wick." you cursed yourself, trying to get out of the situation somehow.

"Yes, Y/N?" he asked, as he was looking down at you. He was so much taller than you, the way he looked consumed your whole being.

"I'm so sorry but I forgot to write my essay for this week. I thought it was due to next week. I'm sorry." you jabbered, looking at your feet to ease your nervousness.

"It's okay, Y/N," he said calmly. "You can handle it next week as well." when you looked up at him he was slightly smiling. That damn smirk made butterflies in your stomach, causing your heart rate to quicken.

"Really?" you asked back. "No punishments?" without thinking, the question just rolled out of your tongue.

He turned his head a little bit, trying to hide his ever-growing smile.

"Would you like to?" you started to blush at his deep voice, thinking about something inappropriate when he clearly was just talking about the assignment.

"No..." you answered. "Not for an essay, no." you just started to make everything worse. You wished that the ground would swallow you on the spot.

"Periodt then," he said to ease the tension a little bit. "Or whatever slang you use these days." You genuinely started to laugh, and it was really good after a long time. Nobody made you laugh these days and it was really nice to talk to someone besides listening to lectures all the time.

"Wow, I'm impressed" it was just absurd to hear this word from his mouth. But you really felt this way.

"My goal is accomplished than" was all he answered. Was he flirting with you? You just wished that. But the whole situation was just weird. Just the way you felt like before. He is not in the right place, something is off with him. You learned these few signals over the years just to protect yourself, still, something keeps attracted you to him.

"I'll try to write it as soon as I can and bring you in your office hours." you smiled shyly.

"It's okay, Y/N, don't worry about it" he smiled back and that smile made you go crazy. You turned your back to him to leave the room. You were standing in the door when you suddenly turned back towards him once again. He was still watching you.

"Thank you, Mr. Wick," you said, waiting for no answer when he said:

"You can call me Jonathan or John. Whichever you like." you were just standing there, completely in shock. This never happened to you before. None of your previous teachers of yours allowed to call them on their first name. To be honest, you did not even try but with John, it just slipped out. You did not know what to say so you just nodded, leaving him standing there watching after you.

*

The rest of the week was awful. You could not wait for the weekend when you could rest a little bit. You were extremely overwhelmed with work and it seemed that nothing wants to work out for you. It was Friday morning, thankfully you did not have any classes left so you finally could work on your assignment for Mr. Wick. You meant, Jonathan. Thinking about him and the way he said that you can call him on his first name made your heart beat faster. Since that day you could not stop thinking about him, which is why everything became harder than it should have been.

It was around 11 in the morning, but you already did a lot of work. You went to the store, then you cooked something for you for the weekend, you cleaned the house as well as doing the laundry. Your roommate was not home, as usual. Since she got that boyfriend of hers, they always spent the time together. At least, you were alone and nobody could bother you. You always did the house chores anyway, as she not usually cleaned up. After everything fallen from your hands and you basically had to clean up twice, the last task was taking out the trash. You somehow managed to take all of her and your trash into three bags. You were already on your way out when you realized that something from one of the bags was leaking. You started to become really angry and mad. At the edge of crying and breaking something, to say the least. You tried to hold back yourself together, taking a deep breath and hoping that the bag will hold on till you reached the bin in front of the street. As it was mentioned before, this was not your day.

Half of the stuff fallen on the ground just when you dumped the rest of it into the trash.

"FUCK" you cried out, hitting the top of the trash and also kicking into it to release those pressure which started to build up in you.

"Y/N" you heard a deep voice behind you. When you turned around you realized that John was there. Who probably watched the previous scene when you freaked out. What was he doing here? "You need any help?"

"Mr. Wick" you started but he interrupted you.

"John."

"Yes, John." you started. "This isn't my day. Could you please wait here as I get another bag?" you asked. You could just said that everything was fine and he could go on his day. But no. Because you did not want him to leave, even though you had no idea what was he doing here.

"Don't worry, I got some," he said while reaching for a plastic bag from his pockets. You lifted your eyebrow while he handed one to you as well as ripping one for himself. "I have a dog, so..." he said, while the two of you collected the rest of the trash. Well, this was not romantic at all. Your cheeks started to burn as you felt the situation kind of humiliating.

"What kind of dog you have?" you asked, trying to pick up the stuff as fast as you could.

"A blue English Staffordshire Bull Terrier" he breathed out when the two of you finally dumped away the rest of the trash.

"Oh, those are really nice dogs even though everyone seems to be afraid of them" you started the conversation and you could swear that his eyes lit up at your compliment.

"Oh, totally. They are super nice when they are raised well," he said smiling. "There are no bad dogs just bad owners." you just nodded, did not know what to say. A few seconds passed by just looking at each other, none of you said anything or moved.

"I should get..." he started, but at the same time, you started as well.

"Would you like a coffee or something in return?" you asked.

"Yeah, sure" he breathed but turned away from you to his car. Which you only realized just now. "Can I park here?" he asked as he gesticulated towards his Mustang. Your jaw just dropped.

"Wow. She's beautiful," you said coming closer to his car. You did not realize what you did until you actually did it. You reached out to touch the roof and at the same time approach John incredibly close. You just recognized that you did not answer his previous question. "And yes, I think you can park here but I'm not sure though."

He said nothing, just looking at you and monitoring every movement you made. He appreciated how your eyes were shining with excitement. Your fingertips which caressed his car so gently. Your hair, which slightly fallen into your face, framing it beautifully. You took his breath away.

"Would you like to try it out?" you did not really comprehend his question, as you were still focusing on his car. When the question finally hit you, you turned towards him with furrowed eyebrows.

"Is this allowed?" you asked. At this moment you wanted nothing more than him taking you out for a ride.

"Why wouldn't be allowed?" he asked back, kind of confused.

"Because you're my teacher." you simply answered back. At that moment you could swear that the smile frozen to his lips, like the reality hit him or something. Something was off. Just like you suspected before. "If you're a teacher at all," you added carefully.

"Who else would I be?" the confidence which was radiating from him started to slowly fade away. He was nervous, you could see that.

"I don't know, you just not seem to be a teacher type of guy." you started. "You don't look like it... and, surely, teachers cannot afford cars like this." you pointed towards his engine. In that second, he moved closer to you, which is why the air stuck in your throat. You looked up at him, his eyes were dark with some emotion which you could not read. You have not seen this side of him yet.

"Maybe, I got it as a gift" his voice comes through your fast heartbeat which was throbbing in your ear.

"I doubt it" you had no idea where this bravery was coming from, even you were surprised. Before he could manage to say something his phone started to ring. He pulled away from you to answer it.

"I'll be there," he said shortly, hanging up the phone. "Sorry, Y/N. I have to go." he was fast. Before you could realize he already got into his car. "Maybe next time," he added, and before you could realize he was already on his way leaving you on the sidewalk alone.

*

The next time you meet him was after his Italian class. You did not attend class, but you managed to arrive at the end of the session to give your essay to him. He was looking good as always, wearing dark clothes highlighting every muscle on his bare skin which was not covered.

"I'm sorry John that I couldn't come for today's class, but I had some family issues" you breathed out which was kind of true. You had family issues, anxiety issues, university issues, and just issues of issues. On top of that, you got a lot of anxiety attacks lately, which did not help you at all. Your hands were shaking as you handed your essay to him. "I know I said that I can manage to finish earlier but I couldn't," you added and he did not say a word. He did not even look at you as he took away the essay. You were heartbroken.

As he did not say anything else you just left the room completely taken aback, trying to suppress the tears which you could feel that going to burst out. When you arrived in the hallway, it was harder and harder to suppress it. You quickly went to the bathroom and when you closed the door behind you everything just came out. All of those tensions were building inside up you. Those feelings which constantly taken up your mind. That you're never good enough, that you have no one to rely on, not even a friend, not family. Nobody. You had nothing and no one. Besides that, you were constantly under stress because of the university. You wanted to perform as the best version of yourself, but you just could not hold back anymore.

After the tears came out and your breathing became a little bit better you went to the basin to wash your face with cold water and to make yourself a little bit more presentable as you still had class. You took a deep breath and got out to the next lesson. Everyone was waiting at the door as the room was not open yet. At this moment, one of your classmates who was kind of nice to you touched your arm.

"Hey, Y/N" she started. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Even though you appreciated her question, you did not know what to say.

"Yeah, sure. Why?" you lied, but it was enough for her to completely change the topic.

"Will you come to the party next week?"

"I don't know" you started. "I haven't really thought about it." as soon as you finished one of the other classmates of yours spoken up.

"She doesn't know because he is waiting for John. I mean, Mr. Wick," he said, bursting out into laughter. You did not know how he found out but your cheeks started to burn up.

"What did you just say?" you asked back, almost shouting at him when you heard the others whispering.

"Oh shit, here he comes," said one of them. When you turned back John was standing next to you. You were sure that he heard the whole conversation. When he looked at you his eyes stuck at your red ones. You were sure that he knew that you were crying. Even though the cold water helped, you still looked like a mess.

"Is there a problem?" he asked using his deep, "discipline" teacher voice. His voice was dangerously low, which sent a shiver down your spine and a feeling to your core which you tried not to think about.

"Not at all" smiled back the douchebag who started everything in the first place. John lightly grabbed your arm, turning his whole body towards you.

"Y/N, can we talk?" he whispered, but the others still managed to figure out the situation. As you answered, they started to chuckle, but at that point, you could not care less as John guided towards his office.

When there were just the two of you, he looked at you with concern on his face.

"Is everything all right, Y/N?" he asked but you just could not look at him. Your eyes were fixated on your shoes. Why would he care? He did not even look at you half an hour ago. You did not answer. You did not know what to say. He was your teacher. You could not tell him your problems even though you wanted to. "Y/N?" he asked again.

This time you looked up at him. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, waiting for your answer.

"I'm fine, thank you, Mr. Wick" you stressed his last name. A sudden expression went through his face which you could not read. "Why would you care, you're just a teacher anyway," you said without thinking of the consequences as you stormed out of his office.  

*

The last week before spring break went quite quickly even though you felt like a zombie. You did not attend your class with John, even though you desperately wanted to. You just skipped that class, while you were attending the others. You were hiding in the hallway, trying to avoid anyone. Just arriving at the beginning of the course and coming out as soon as you could. In this way, you could survive university. Now, thankfully you had a free week when you could charge up your battery and just rest a little. Your mind wandered at the party which your classmate mentioned to you, wondering if John would be there. A few teachers had to be there, because it was a university party and they were still responsible for you somehow.

You really wanted to go. To dance, to drink and to forget all of your problems.

That is why you were standing in front of your mirror trying to soothe imaginary creases on your black dress. You kept finding mistakes on yourself, about your makeup, about your hair. But at the same time, you kept reminding yourself that this is just a party and the main goal is that you should enjoy the night without constantly thinking bullshit about yourself.

This is what you kept saying in your head on your way to the party. The place was already buzzing with music and people's voices, radiating a certain kind of heat as well. As you step inside, you were already washed away by the crowd, seeing people who you never saw before.

As you looked around you saw a giant plaque that said that it was a retro vs. modern age night. All night, songs from the 80/90s were played, after that came a piece of current music and the whole mass went insane. Everybody moved as a whole in perfect sync swaying to the rhythm of the music. Sadly, you could see that a lot of people were high and drunk, which you could never do, but you still wanted to dance. You just started to move your body alone, when your all-time a favorite song started to play from the speakers.

Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

I travel the world

And the seven seas,

Everybody's looking for something

At that point, your eyes stuck at a dark figure which you could recognize even in your dreams. John Wick was standing there, looking at you. He was wearing a full black suit with his hair slicked back. You were constantly gazing at him. Even though you wanted him to be here the whole situation was absurd and unbelievable. However, he still managed to surprise you all the time.

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to get used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused.

Looking at him and listening to these lines hit you. Hit you really hard. As you looked at him, all of your desires and hidden fantasies started to take over your body. Your nasty hidden feelings. All of those things which you could never share with anyone. You wanted to be used, you wanted to be abused. But you wanted these in a good way. You wanted this as a thing, where the two of you want this not just you. You wanted to be safe, you wanted to feel appreciated, you wanted to feel special, you wanted to be WANTED. You wanted a man, who makes you feel things you never felt before. Who does things to you and touches you like you never experienced before. Maybe, just the daddy issues were speaking from you but looking at John you could feel that he could fulfill all of your wishes and desires. Not to mention that he would be there for you as a friend, as a lover, even as a soulmate. And as someone, who just genuinely cares about you. At least, you hoped so. But it could never happen because he was just a teacher and you were just a silly student.

However, the way he was looking at you consumed your whole being. You did not know what happened to you but you started to sensually move your hips, turning your back to him to kind of show him what he can get.

After a few seconds, you felt a muscular, hard chest pushing against your body.

"Mind if I join?" a deep voice asked and you could recognize this tone everywhere. You did not even answer as you did not have to. You just turned back towards him, getting as close as possible. He was even more handsome up close, taking your breath away.

"Is this allowed?" you shouted, but it sounded like a whisper in the crowd.

He pulled you closer to him, resting his hands on your waist and tilting his head down to bury his face into your hair.

"I don't even care anymore" he answered, his breath caressing your ear as well as the side of your neck. This sent a shiver down your spine, causing your thighs to rub together to ease the sensation which was building in your core deep down. He could feel that your body tense up between his palms, but he kept you steady with his strong and firm hands.

"What does that mean?" he looked up at you, with some expression on your face which you could not read. He wanted to tell you something, you could see that but something changed as he looked at your side.

"Stay here," he said and suddenly his touch disappeared causing you to shiver as he was not there anymore.

You could barely react, but you still managed to see where he went to. Without thinking, you started to follow him.

 You looked at him everywhere when you find him outside the field of the campus. To be honest, you could barely see him but you could hear him grunting and... fighting? He was the last man standing with someone else, besides them, there were laying bodies. You could never dream of being a situation like this. You did not know what to do. You were completely frozen and could not move. Your panic started to take over your mind and you could barely manage your breathing.

"John" suddenly you cried out. He immediately looked at you, which the opponent took as a chance and hit him right in the gut. He sunk into his knees, while the other man started to approach you.

"Y/N run," he said but you could not even lift your finger. You could see as the other man was getting closer and closer to you when John grabbed him from behind and started to choke him. The other man started to run out of the air and suddenly collapsed into John's arms. John did not even think twice, he dropped the enemy onto the ground. Before you could realize, John grabbed your arm, dragging you across the field into the parking lot where you saw his car.

"Get in the car!" he ushered you, but you could barely move. You were completely frozen which was insane thinking that your body was on fire just a few minutes ago.

"Why?" you managed to push this word out of you when he started to yell.

"Get in the fucking car!" he said and that predatory look on his face with some bruises and blood made him look like a totally different person. You got in the car, slowly breathing out that air that you did not know you were holding. He started the engine and drive at a very high speed toward somewhere which you could not recognize.

"Where are you taking me?" your throat was dry. It was hard to speak, but this was the only sentence which you dared to ask after minutes.

"Home. To me," he answered shortly.

"Why?" you whispered but he could hear it. After minutes, you finally looked at him. He was holding the wheel so damn strong that his knuckles went white. He was angry, you could see that. His whole expression changed as he was not looking at you, just fixating his eyes on the road.

"Because you fucking messed up your goddamn life" to hear him swearing made you sense that you are truly in deep trouble.

"What did I do?" you asked softly and suddenly all of his muscles started to loosen up at your tone.

"I was taking out a gang when you just showed up, risking your whole life just to look after me." he started.

"So you..." you started softly as you could feel that the ice between the two of you started to melt. "You're not a teacher." was all you managed to say.

"God no," he answered, and before you could realize you started to laugh. It came from the bottom of your heart. He looked at you the first time, furrowing his brows. "It's not funny, Y/N.," he said and before you could stop yourself the following words just slip out of your mouth:

"Thank God, 'cause ever since I saw you I've kept telling myself that I can't fall for a teacher" as soon as you said it your cheek started to burn. He looked at you with piercing eyes.

"I'm not a teacher, but I'm way worse," he said in a dangerously low voice. And thinking back to those guys around him finally hit you.

"Who are you?" you whispered. He looked back at the road as he could not bear to see your expression when he told you the truth.

"I'm a ..." he started, but he did not want to say assassin. Because that was just too much the handle. "I'm the one who takes out the bad guys." you nodded, did not know what to do with this information. You have always known that there is something wrong with him, but you could not explain why. Now, this was the reason and you wished that you did not know. Still, you fell for him even more.

"Did you kill them?" you asked.

"No." he answered back. "I didn't have my gun." suddenly you felt that breathing becomes heavier.

"Have you killed someone?" you barely dared to ask this question but the heavy silence which felt on you told more than words.

 You did not say a word until he finally stopped at his garage. His house was beautiful, so big that it was unbelievable that it only belonged to him.

"Wow..." you whispered and he smiled.

"Y/N" he started and you turned towards him. "I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I just wanted to protect you. You'll stay here until I finish this business and make sure that no one harms you. After that, you're free to go." you did not know what to say. You wanted to say something, but you could not. Your mind wandered somewhere else, constantly thinking about what the two of you talked about in the car. You told him about your feelings and he did not even say anything. "I have a room for you here," he said and ushered you to a room, leaving you alone.

*

You could barely get some sleep. Your mind was constantly thinking about John and his life. How dangerously he lived and how he managed to keep his camouflage at the university. Honestly, you even cried that night as well. You did not know what to do and how to react, even though you wanted him. Your mind could not be silenced after you saw him in action and what he did you still thought about his arms, his hands, and his body as he pulled you closer to him at the party. Not to mention that you felt his goddamn intoxicating perfume in his whole house as well as in the sheets.

After being up all evening, you woke up late in the afternoon. It was already 5 when you looked at the clock on the nightstand on your left. You left out a sigh, focusing on sounds. But you could not hear any. You slowly got up and opened to the door.

“John?” you cried out but no answers came. Instead of that, you heard something which was running towards you. Then you saw John’s dog. “Oh my God, you’re so cute” you kneeled to the ground to pet the dog which was in its early months. It was still small, but you could see the strong, robust figure which started to form underneath its skin. “Where were you last night?” you asked as if the dog could answer you. However, after petting and talking to it all of your stress and doubts left the mind.

You went to the kitchen, where on the counter you found a note. It was written by John and he had beautiful handwriting.

“Make yourself at home.” was all it said. Straightforward. Just like John.

 After taking a shower and finding a long t-shirt in John’s wardrobe you finally sat down onto the sofa when the front door opened. John came in, the dog immediately cheered him licking and panting all over him. You watched the scene with a smile on your face. After John returned the same excitement as the dog, he finally looked at you. You were wearing one of his t-shirts. And that was it.

“What are you wearing?” he demanded. You stood up immediately, trying to explain yourself.

“You said that make yourself at home, so I’ve showered and searched for something to wear because the dress was really uncomfortable,” you said quickly. John left out a soft “oh” as he could have thought about this in the first place. Even though he did not want to admit, but he really liked the way it looked on you.

“Everything is clear now,” he stated simply. “I’m taking you home. Are you ready?” he asked and you were just standing there as if your legs got stuck into the ground.

“You don’t want to talk about it?” you started carefully, hinting to your previous unfinished conversation last night as well how he “cleared everything up”.

“No.” was all he said which felt like ripping and turning up your insides. You just nodded, turning away to suppress all of your emotions. That’s it. All of your fantasies about this man ended. He did not want to do anything with you. This was just business after all. And he finished it.

“I’m grabbing my stuff” you whispered, your throat was dry you could barely speak.

 After collecting your dress and purse you were standing in front of him again. “Take me home,” you said firmly when his form started to loosen up.

“Y/N” he followed you as you were heading into the garage. His beautiful car was there, standing next to another one.

“Just take me home.” was all you said before he grabbed your wrist, pulling back to him and pushing his lips against yours. The kiss was not a soft one. It was passionate and hard. It took a few milliseconds to react, but gosh… it was desperate. From the two of you. Teeth clicked, tongues rolled against each other as the two of you started to express which words could not. He was cupping one of your cheeks, pushing you closer to him as much as he could. Your hands started to explore his body, caressing the soft material of his suit. You could feel as he started to harden beneath your touch, basically… everywhere. Just like in a second, which made you even more insane. He wanted you so much, he could barely hold himself back. He was rucking up your shirt with his other hand, grabbing your waist strongly which sent goosebumps all over your body. His touch was just like you imagined. No… it was even better. It took a side of you which you did not even know you had.

You could feel that you started to wet your panties even though he did not even touch you there yet. He was now kissing you a little bit softer but still passionately, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You started to moan as it did whole new sensations to your body which you never experienced before. He lifted you up from the ground before you could realize, to make you sit on the hood of his car. At that exact moment, you hooked your legs around his legs, pulling him closer to you. It was insane how the two of you moved in sync. It was like a perfect dance and choreography, even though you have not done this before to the other. But still, it was like you found a long lost piece from yourself. And he felt the same. The two of you did not stop kissing until his hands reached up to your neck, softly squeezing it to make out a moan from you which you could not even stop. John immediately stopped looking at you with concern on his face.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly looking at your neck if he caused any injuries. He did not even know what he has done until you moaned.

“Gosh no,” you started to laugh and blush. “It just… felt really good.” his eyes lit up with lust. It became even darker than it already was. He was looking at you, constantly holding his gaze when he reached again to your neck. He squeezed it a little bit harder this time, but it was even better. Your eyes rolled back as your core started to throb with desire.

“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed at the sight. “You’re making me insane.” was all he said before sinking to his knees. He pulled you closer to him, making you lay on the edge of his car. He looked so good kneeling between your thighs. And he looked even better when he started to stroke your clit through your underwear. He sharply sucked the air just by the sight of it.

You were laying on his car in your black lace panties. This was even better than he could ever dream for. He was holding himself back, but he was about to burst out.

“You look so good,” he said as he pushed your panties to the side to insert one finger slowly into you. You laid back all the way on his car as he started to finger your inside with one hand and your clit with his other one. You bite your lip to hold your moans back, but it was a really difficult thing to do. As he was so freaking good with his hand. You could barely hold yourself back when suddenly he pulled his finger out of you. Before you could realize, your panties were on the floor, and John grabbed your thighs to draw you closer to him. Now, he used his tongue instead of his fingers to play with your wetness, causing you to arch your back pushing your backside closer to his face. He grabbed your ass firmly with his hands, he wanted to control and drive you insane. He could not let you chase for your own pleasure. He wanted to make your pleasure. He wanted to make you lose your mind. He wanted you to scream his name.

He was flicking his tongue, constantly changing position between your clit and inside thing, delving his tongue deeper and deeper. You were moaning, making sounds, saying his name with some curse words as well. You were right. He truly made you feel things that you never felt before.

Suddenly, your most intense orgasm ever washed over you out of nothing, clenching all over John’s hands and tongue as he was still fucking you mercilessly with it to help over your after wave. Your hands were still grabbing his hair, rocking your hips against his face.

“Jonathan,” you said after a few seconds when he stood up, looking at you laying on his car finally satisfied. You sit up to push a soft kiss against his lips, which on you could feel your juices. Which caused you to be even hornier. As it was possible.

“I love when you say my name” he chuckled which made your stomach flop from happiness. “That is why I can’t wait to hear you screaming it,” he added with a dangerously low voice.

“Can I ask you something, Jonathan?” you said carefully, pulling him closer to you.

“Anything, doll” he answered.

“Then, fuck me” you whispered shyly. You did not know where this bravery was from, but John truly made you feel things that you never felt before.

“You don’t even have to ask,” he said as you started to undress him. His expensive suit and tie dropped onto the floor and the same time he removed the t-shirt and bra which you were still wearing as well.

He took your whole body in and admired every sight of it.

“You’re beautiful,” he said before pressing another urgent kiss to your lips. He grabbed your hair, making you moan into his mouth at how good all of this felt. At that exact moment, he thrust into you and your whole world rocked. He stretched you all the way up, cause you to cry out his name louder than you anticipated.

“Tell me if it hurts” he added and you couldn’t form a single word because the pleasure mixed with all the pain, caused to build your second orgasm and he was restlessly fucking you. You were a moaning mess, so is he. He was grunting and cursing as the two of you started to reach climax.

“Ah, fuck-“you cried out as your walls started to clench. “Let me cum, Mr. Wick” you added and you could actually feel that Jonathan is twitching inside of you. He suddenly stopped and grabbed your neck, ushering you to look at him.

“Say that again,” he demanded.

“Which part?” you asked shyly, thinking that it was a mistake and you’ve ruined everything.

“All of it.”

“Let me cum, Mr. Wick,” you looked straight into his eyes when you said it. The fact that you’re biting your bottom lip didn’t help him at all.

“Gosh…” he huffed and continued to mercilessly pound into you, deeper and deeper each time. You were overwhelmed with the new sensations and your whole-body shake, when the second, but most intense orgasm of the night hit you. John was approaching his own climax as well, every thrust of his became a little bit sloppier and out of pace. He kissed you so softly, when he reached his own pleasure, moaning into your mouth which sent a vibration down to your body. You tensed your legs around his waist, taking him in more while lying down on the top of his car.

“I’m sorry we made a mess,” you whispered and he started to chuckle.

“Don’t worry about that, especially that we’re only getting started,” he said in a dangerously low voice. And oh boy, he was right…

*

This is it. It was the end of suffering. End of your university years. As for now. You couldn’t be happier as you’ve left the building and saw a beautiful mustang parked on the driveway. It was from John Wick. You were quite surprised as he said that he has to leave the town for some… business. You didn’t expect him to be back this soon. Now, you’re smile grew even bigger.

“Here is my graduated girl,” he smiled at you and pressed a soft, loving kiss to your lips when you got next to him. You gave him a half-hug in this position, laughing into his shoulders.

“I did it.”

“Yes, you did,” he said, looking straight into your eyes now. He took out an envelope from his jacket. “I brought you this,” he said softly, and you were surprised.

“John, you shouldn’t…” but he cut you off.

“Just open it!” and you did. You carefully ripped off the edges taking out two flight tickets to Italy. Tears started to gather in your eyes.

“John…” you started but you didn’t even know how to begin. He also became emotional, as he looked at you.

“At our first Italian class, you’ve said that you want to see the world. I hope this will be a good start.” you didn’t know how you got a man like John, but it was more than you deserved.

“I love you, John,” you breathed out and this was the first time you’ve actually said this. He looked at you and his whole expression changed, suddenly his body tensed up. You suddenly became afraid that you said something wrong. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe…

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said finally and he pressed a kiss into your lips which told more than words. This was just the beginning. The very beginning of your life and also the adventure, which you continued with John Wick till the very end.

[akaashisupremacy]

Chasing Springtime

Summary: Kei Tsukishima, now in college, reacquaints himself with a childhood friend. They explore a museum together where they reminisce about their time in junior high. Old feelings that he has long shoved aside resurface.

Notes: Kaori Miyahara is an original character, but readers are free to put themselves into her shoes! This is my first fic and I love museums. There will be more chapters to come and let me know if you have any feedback.

Read it in (Ao3) 

Spring (February) 2018 || Sendai Modern and Contemporary Art Museum || Sendai City || 3:00 PM

“I haven’t been to many contemporary art museums before,”  Kei Tsukishima  admitted as he followed Kaori Miyahara into one of the temporary exhibit galleries.

Although Tsukki hoped to work in a museum after he graduated college, he mostly envisioned a historical or science museum. He hadn’t considered any art museums because he wasn’t too familiar with them.

Growing up in the suburbs, there was not a big emphasis on the arts. Tsukki later regretted not paying more attention to the subject because it would have made the Introduction to Modern and Contemporary Arts class he was taking far less daunting. The class itself was interesting and eye opening, but he had felt like he lacked the actual experience with such art to fully appreciate the course. Towards the end of last year’s winter term, he had a conversation with his classmate Kaori visiting more museums to have a better understanding at how his courses will be useful for his planned career.

On one of the last few weeks of the winter term, he entered the classroom to find Kaori with a bunch of museum brochures spread out on her desk. He plopped on his desk next to hers and took out his notebook in preparation for their class.

“What’s with all the brochures?” he asked. Kaori was also in her first year in university. He hadn’t been classmates with her for years, but even then her desk remained messy before class. Some things never change.

Kaori turned her body towards him, sitting on the side of her chair and waved some of the brochures at him. The professor had not yet arrived, everyone was milling around talking about the upcoming spring break.

“How many of these have you actually been to?” she asked.

“I’ve been to those two and that one,” he pointed to one of the brochures on her desk. He took out his headphones and began placing his notes and pens on his desk.

“I’m sure I’ve been to more when I was younger but I haven’t been in some of these in so long I’m not sure what their interiors look like anymore.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Did you know that there were this many museums in the area?’ she asked, stacking the brochures on her desk.

“I guess not,” he shrugged, preparing to slip his headphones back on.

“I’m taking a class on Museum Management next semester and I don’t even know what most of the museums in the area look like. I’m not updated on their latest collections or their educational programs, I can already feel myself struggling at the subject.” she sighed. He could see a cloud of gloom start to gather on her head.

Tsukki honestly felt it was a little early to be panicking for a subject that started next term. He tried to reassure her, saying that many of her classmates would be on the same boat.

“There are so many I haven’t been to. I’ve been so focused on gymnastics when I lived here. I really should go to more museums.”she mumbled with her hands cupping her face, “I mean I’ve been to more museums when I lived in Tokyo because I was injured when I lived there. it’s great and all, but I’m not really taking my internship there.”

“Same,” he sighed, putting his hands behind his head, “Not about the Tokyo museums, but about visiting more museums. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’re competing on both a team and as an individual gymnast. Of course that’s time consuming.”

Most gymnasts only competed on either team or individual. Kaori was technically recruited to compete on the team, but sometimes she competed on her individual because she had some difficult skills in her arsenal from her elite days.

“I actually wish we were required to go to museums every two weeks or so that we’ll be more updated about their latest collections, ne?” she mulled over with hands clasped together staring into the blackboard.

“Kaori, I’m sure most of your classmates wouldn’t have gone to that many museums either. I mean you’ll probably go to more throughout college right? Why would you ask for extra work in class? You seem to be doing pretty well.

Beside, we’re reading up on a lot of the things inside the museum. Isn’t that enough?” he said. Tsukki waved his notes. He reached out to take a handful of brochures from her desk and looked through them.

Kaori shook her head.

“Reading about history and art is very different from seeing it in front of your eyes. I feel like I understand the subject better when I know and see what they’re talk about. Visiting museums is important even if it’s not required by class, Tsukki.”

“I mean you could still do it on your own right?” he asked, with one brow up.

Kaori pouted and gave him the side eye, “You’re placing a lot of faith in my self- initiative. I mean, would you go on your own will? Regularly?”

“If I had someone to keep me accountable I guess,” he shrugged, handing the brochures back to her. Maybe she did have a point about required attendance.

Tsukki convinced her to form a museum club for two where they planned to go to museums on every other Sunday afternoon. Their first trip was to the 3M Science Museum, which catered more to Tsukki’s interest and the city museum the session after. Today it was an art museum, which was more up Kaori’s alley.

“Should we head to the temporary or permanent galleries first…” he asked, browsing through the map on the brochure. There was a temporary exhibit on Southeast Asian art, a children’s biennale of sorts and of course the permanent collections.

“We’re a little pressed. We can always visit the permanent collections another time, so the temporary exhibit might be best.” said Kaori, mentally calculating the time they should spend on the temporary collection to be able to quickly go through the permanent collection.

“My mom’s from Southeast Asia and I lived there for a few years, so I’m always curious what their art has to say especially in exhibits abroad,” she added. They presented their tickets at the counter and the staff directed them towards the Southeast Asia exhibit.

“I thought you said your mom was Chinese?” he asked, a little bit surprised. Tsukki didn’t know much about Kaori’s mother from the times he has seen her. He just knew she was Chinese because Kaori almost always perfected the kanji sections of their exam when they were in Junior High.

“Yeah, but she grew up in Southeast Asia because her parents migrated there.” she answered.

A lot of the paintings that came from the exhibit were Social-Realists, which reflected the realities and struggles of the Third World countries. The texts explained that although abstraction was a widespread movement in the region, artists feel a responsibility towards amplifying the voices of the masses.

“Cool! A movie.” she exclaimed, kicking off her boots as she hopped onto the mats. Kaori promptly sank into a chair.

Tsukki read through the exhibit caption before he followed suit. Kaori had kind of just dumped her shoes at the edge of the mat. He straightened them up and placed them besides his at a corner.

“It says the Thai artist wanted to film protests for workers rights in a rural area in Thailand, then something about it being a larger commentary on capitalism. A lot of the works here are so politically charged.” he commented, dragging a bean bag closer to her, “Does any of this match up with your experience when you lived there?”

“Not really, but you have to remember that I was really young and that my mom’s family were well-off. Majority of the people in the region are not as affluent. That and I’ve never lived in Thailand.” she sighed, “I heard the food there is really spicy.”

“Isn’t poverty a universal experience though?” he said, sitting back onto his bean bag. “I mean poverty exists here in Japan too. Why is Southeast Asian poverty so special that you would base an entire region’s works around it?”

Kaori’s eyes widened at his words. She looked at him with her eyebrow raised and her mouth ajar. Tsukki jerked back and waved his hands side to side in apology - a break from his usual demeanor.

“Ah…sorry, that’s not what I meant. What I wanted to say was ahh...their poverty seems to be branded with their Southeast Asian-ness. It’s like regular poverty mixed with...the stuff from pre-colonial Southeast Asian history class. It’s like they’re really emphasizing how Southeast Asian they are through their poverty. ” he rubbed the back of his neck as he explained, “I’m not sure I explained it that well.”

“There’s a duo from the Philippines that told me that when they do that kind of thing, they are more likely to get funding from Japan. I met them at a Yokohama show when I was in Tokyo. They regularly get grants from Japan Foundation so it must be a formula that works.” she said matter-of-factly.

“Isn’t that a little disconcerting? That they have to show themselves as poor to get funding for their art?” he asked, shaking his head, “Shouldn’t there be a better criteria for funding? Like merit or something.”

Kaori sat back and looked at him in the eye, “All this almost feels like a show of how different and advanced Japan is. Since we don’t experience this kind of poverty here, it makes people feel better about their conditions you know.” She let herself slump at her seat as she talked, “The message is this: we don’t need these movements to be widespread because these problems supposedly don’t exist.”

Tsukki was surprised at the sharpness of her words. He had never thought about art that way. I mean he knew that art could be used as propaganda, but the subtlety of nuances of a Southeast Asian contemporary art exhibit was astonishing if Kaori was indeed right.

“Ahh I’m not sure how acceptable it is to say out loud. The Japanese can be prissy about discussions on politics. The culture here is rather compliant. People would rather obey than speak up.” she said, fiddling with her jacket as she stared at the film, “ And…I think I’ve made you uncomfortable. Just so you know, I’m not accusing you of anything. Compliance is a structure. ”

He shook his head, “…more than anything I think what you said has given me something to think about. I don’t feel targeted, don’t worry.”

Her vocabulary had become so sharp and radical. Kaori had the tendency to be critical about politics from an early age or “edgy” as some of the schoolmates would describe her, but even this caught him a little off guard.  

“Besides, just because this is all propaganda doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy its other merits,” he said standing up and preparing to leave.

Another couple entering the matted space turned to look at Tsukki. He looked slightly embarrassed.

“That’s right my leftist friend,” she said, winking at him, laughing inside at his discomfort. Tsukki nudged her side as she put her shoes back on.

“God, Kaori! You can be so cheeky sometimes.” he gritted his teeth, muttering at her, helping her up.

“Apologies, comrade.” she teased, walking on her tiptoes towards the next installation.

In the middle of the exhibit was a video installation that filled an entire wall. Mats covered the floor and bean bag chairs were spread all around encouraging visitors to sit and watch the film. A few visitors looking to rest were seated in the area. It looked like a casual film-viewing experience. After sitting in the area for a few minutes, they quickly moved onto to other works.

Tsukki’s favorite installation was probably one from Singapore. There wasn’t much text available about it, except that it made use of Ryuichi Sakamoto’s works such as Andata and Ubi that it was previously exhibited in the National Singapore Gallery.

The installation was fenced like a loose, dark maze. It was pitch black except for the patches of light emanating from tablet sized screens showing vignettes of apartment living rooms at night. The living rooms were shown from different angles all illuminated by TV screens as music by Sakamato, a renowned film music composer played in the background. Each tablet played a different piece.

“I like this one,” he said approvingly, “It’s unlike anything we’ve read in class.It’s more than paintings on walls. It’s a whole room of art!”

“It’s a great way to portray isolation in the cities.” she nodded.

Tsukki had barely pinpointed what he liked about the exhibit. Kaori had already summed up what it was about. The closest work they’ve discussed at class in relation to the installation was probably Rothko, an American abstractionist who painted huge canvases of color in hopes of moving people through the sheer size and emotion emanating from the painting.

“Reminds me of Edward Hopper,” she said, bending down a bit, to look at one of the screens.

Tsukki, who was peering at one the screens placed so low he had to crouch to be able to look, sat up straight. Hopper…that name seemed familiar. He probably took it up in his modern art class last semester. Maybe an American artist.

“American modernist who portrayed isolation of the city living. He had some works portraying how empty cities were during World War 2.” she said, as if reading her thoughts. “The professor barely mentioned it. I became a huge fan of his work when I was younger.”

Tsukki breathed a sigh of relief. Today was a Sunday, but he felt like he was being tested in school. Both of them took their time viewing each tablet, relishing in the details of each screen. They had stayed long enough that the music began to change to atmospheric noises and other atmospheric music.

Kaori had decided she was done before Tsukki was, so she sauntered over his side about a meter away, as not to pressure him to finish up. He sensed she was done and turned to her.

“Do you like this installation?” he asked. Her shape barely carved itself in the dark, but he could hear her breathing softly and the rustling of her jacket gave way where she stood while patiently waiting for him to finish.

“I do. The use of music makes me think about how different this installation would be if the music choices were switched. Andata is looming and melancholic right? It sounds like a silent scream. It heightens the alienation implied by the empty living rooms. If I changed it into something else, the feel would be totally different.” she whispered so quickly that he had to replay what she said in his head.  

Tsukki could sense Kaori was brewing with ideas. She sounded excited, and a little distracted by her own thoughts as if a million thoughts were racing in her head.

“What song would you put in place to change the mood?” he asked.

Kaori brought out her phone. She looked around to see if the light would distract other viewers. Thankfully there was no one else in the installation. She tapped his headphones around his neck indicating that she wanted to borrow his chord. He drew out the chord from his phone in his pocket and handed it to her. His fingers touched the center of her palm.

Illuminated by the light of her phone, Kaori instructed him to look at the nearest screen. He put his headphones on. She played Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes which was a song from the fifties sung by a barbershop quartet. The song transformed the living into a scene of possible domestic bliss. The modern living room juxtaposed with a vintage song created the semblance of residents that liked a fun throwback.

She wiggled her finger and pressed another song, playing “Careless Whisper by George Michael". Tsukki smirked, suppressing his laughter. This was a sharp contrast to Sakamoto and Chordettes’ pieces indeed. He took out his headphones.

“But what would you play to describe your own living room?” he asked.

Kaori thought for a moment and searched through her phone, her face barely lit.

“Ahh” she exclaimed, gesturing for him to put his headphones back. The piece she played combined ambient noises in a park such as the croaking of frogs and chirping of birds and layered with a piano composition that mimicked the sensation of light rains and wind.

“Your living room in Karasuno?” he guessed. Considering he lived next door, the sounds they heard in their backyard were pretty similar.

Kaori nodded, “Sounds like your living room too when you open the windows.”

Kaori and Tsukki were neighbors during Junior High. Although Kaori’s schedule was always tight (even during their breaks) because she wanted to compete at the elite level of gymnastics, they spent many whatever time they had free in each other’s backyard, tossing a volleyball around or watching shows on Tsukki’s computer.

Sometime in their second year, Tsukki became embarrassed about being seen around Kaori in school because their classmates would tease them together. At a time when first crushes and romances were novel, Tsukki found the whole thing an irritable debacle. Although he easily stood up to bullies, the teasing still got to him. He didn’t want people to think Kaori was his girlfriend. Tsukki’s distancing did not sit well with Kaori. She understood his concern but felt that it wasn’t an excuse to stop being friends.

One afternoon, when Kaori’s parents weren’t home. She thought it was the perfect opportunity to hang out with him because there was no one around. The sound of a volleyball being tossed up in the air indicated that Tsukki was out playing in his backyard. It was a relatively peaceful day. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, frogs were croaking in the distance. Tsukki’s footsteps lightly scratched on the dirt beneath his feet.

She climbed the brick wall between them and propped herself up on her forearms.

“Tsukki! Tsukki! Hey!!!” she said, struggling to keep herself on the wall. Tsukki turned to the direction of the wall. He was jolted by the sound of her voice, stumbling back on his own feet.

“How did you climb the wall? What are you doing??” He hissed, scrambling to stand back up. Kaori was like a monkey sometimes.

“Do you wanna watch a musical? Let’s watch a musical!” she smiled, waving at him.

“No.” he sternly pouted, folding his arms and staring at her. He was determined to spend less time with her, the memory of school teasing still fresh on his mind.

“You just don’t wanna hang out with me, because I’m a girl right? If I was a boy, you’d totally hang out with me like Yamaguchi!” she yelled, “You’re not even busy-”

Kaori lost her grip on the wall and slipped down the wall. Tsukki gasped. He heard a thud into the dirt. In a shot of adrenaline, he scrambled up his side of the wall to check if she was alright.

“Kaori! Are you okay?” he asked, holding himself up on the wall. His feet were slipping. He urged himself to stay up.

Kaori sat on her butt. She rolled backwards and quickly stood on her feet.

“I’m fine. Thanks. Didn’t think you’d be concerned,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me “since you don’t want to be friends anymore looks like it.”

“I just don’t want people teasing that you’re my girlfriend because you’re not.” he said, his brows furrowed.

“Why can’t you just tell that? Do you really have to go around avoiding me sometimes? If you don’t want to be friends, I’ll just go find new friends!!!” she said out loud, crossing her arms. Kaori made friends easily, Tsukki had no doubt that she could easily find someone else to bother.

“Everyone nearby is kind of in college. Who are you going to be friends with?” he said, cocking his head.

“I’ll bike to the next corner!” she called out, raising her voice at Tsukki who was struggling to stay hanging on the wall.

Tsukki couldn’t hold on anymore and slipped back down to the dirt of his backyard. He tried to climb back up. He couldn’t. Although he was tall, he was relatively skinny for his height. He didn’t have a lot of strength or athleticism.

“Ok, fine let’s watch a musical. Just don’t be so noisy. You can come over. Bring your own headphones.” he sighed, talking to her from his side of the wall.

When he didn’t hear a reply, he called her name, “Kaori?” Had she gone into her house in deliberate measure to ignore him?

Kaori managed to climb on the wall with her arms folded in front of her.

“Yes? Did you try climbing over again? I heard some scuffles on the wall.” she grinned with a glint in her eye. Tsukki could just feel that she enjoyed watching him struggle.

“Just come,” he scowled, rolling his eyes.

“Ok!” she smiled, dropping back down into her side.

The two spent the next hour and a half in the Tsukishima family living room watching a live recording of “Singing in the Rain” off a computer. They sat squeezed together on the couch with the computer placed on each of their laps. Kaori tapped her fingers to the beat of the songs. Tsukki lightly hummed to the few melodies he was familiar with. Both fully absorbed in the story set at the end of the silent film era.

After they watched the musical, Tsukki got Kaori to toss the volleyball for him in his backyard.

“You should do a routine to ‘Singing in the Rain’! It would look cool with your clubs or hoop apparatus.” he said excitedly. He promised to get Yamaguchi to watch her competition if she did the said routine.

“I think it would be quite good with the hoops too! Hopefully my coach will let me do it next season. Almost everyone does Pop or Classical music in rhythmic gymnastics, it can get really boring.” she sighed, changing her toss to an underhand receive. She hit the incoming ball and sent it up high.

“Nice receive! You’re really improving.” he said, watching where the ball was falling. He promptly catches it with an overhand toss.

“Thanks, it’s from all this tossing that we’re doing.” she said, her eyes glued to the ball.

While they toss the ball back and forth, Tsukki begins whistling the main melody of Singing in the Rain.

“How do you do that? I’ve always wanted to whistle! ” she asked, trying to whistle but to no avail. Tsukki shrugs his shoulders. He tries to teach her how to shape her lips. Kaori tries a couple of times and sighs in defeat. His whistling blends in with the sound of chirping birds and they continue to play until dinnertime.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Who wrote this piece? It’s great.” he said, moving his headphones back down to his neck gesturing to ask for her phone.

“Belle Chen, she’s a contemporary classical musician. You should download her music” she said, showing him her profile. “What would you play to describe your house?”

“Sukiyaki is something my mom would play.” he thought. His mother had a penchant for 60’s pop songs that she would blast while she cleaned and cooked.

The two exited the installation into a series of dimly lit installations. They found themselves out on a hallway with colorful glass with a long net of wind-chimes on the ceiling.

“Pity that they didn’t put this outdoors. The wind would create more variations with the sound. Here it’s just being regularly blasted by the air conditioning.” she commented.

As Tsukki’s eyes adjusted to the light, he rebutted, “Maybe they placed the chimes here not for the source of wind, but for the light source. If this installation was outdoors, if this whole hallways was outdoors…the transition from a series of dimly lit areas into the sun would be quite jarring. The artificial light with the gentle rustling of the chimes would be a gentle reminder to the senses about the transition of spaces.”

Kaori still thought the chimes were best placed outside, reminiscent of the sound of chimes and bells during a temple visit but Tsukki did make a good argument for its current placement. They sat on the benches laid out on the hallway, listening to the chimes.

“What about here? What music will you play here?” he asked.

Kaori didn’t even blink. She extended her hand for his chord and plugged him in then played Sudden Rush of Memories by the Shanghai Restoration Project. Electronic synth music filled syncopations at the start that mellowed as it went on. Piano mixed with mimicked shuttling of a passing. It was colorful and evocative of a transcendental past.

It reminded Tsukki of the rustling of the wind, trees and sunlight peeking through the branches of “The Spot”. His first adventure at “The Spot”  when he was pedalling home after an afternoon spent at his volleyball youth group when he was 12 turning 13 on his first year in Junior High. He opted not to compete in his Junior High varsity team so his brother suggested that he sometimes practice with the adults from the town association to sharpen his skills in between his regular youth group. Practice had run later than usual and the sky was getting dark fast. He felt relieved that he didn’t have school the next day, so even if he had morning practice, he would have time to rest tonight.

On the last slope of the hill before he reached the street of his home, he heard a frantic pedalling from behind that threatened to derail his peaceful downward descent. He swiftly looked back to find Kaori Miyahara wide-eyed  and struggling to control her bike at the frenzied speed she was going.

In a split second decision, Tsukki hit the brakes on his bike and swerved into the nearest wall he could find to prevent colliding with Kaori. He lightly hit himself on the wall, relatively unscathed. Kaori hastily pulled the brakes as soon as she made it down hill. She pressed so hard that she almost flew off her bike.

Tsukki pedalled down and told her to watch where she was going as she picked herself up onto her bike.

“Can you watch where you’re going next time? That was reckless and dangerous!” he told her off. He re-adjusted his glasses and put himself back onto his bike.

Kaori seemed shaken up and as she looked up to apologise to him her eyes were at the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry!” she said, bowing her head.

Her shoulders started shaking as she slowly lifted her head. Tsukki’s eyes widened. He was tall, even for someone who was 12, so even if Kaori was over 5 feet tall, she looked terribly small to him, especially when she cowered as she cried and pitiable. He held back his impulse to call her lame.

“It’s alright. Hey, look it’s not a big deal.” he nodded, dusting himself returning to his usual nonchalant tone. Kaori would not stop crying. He sighed and got off his bike.

“I said it’s not a big deal. Why are you still crying?” he said, scratching the back of his head in genuine confusion. He had never really made someone cry outside of a volleyball game before.

In between sobs, Kaori explained that she had an early day off from gymnastics today and she had planned to find a spot that overlooked Sendai City to see the sunset. Her friend had suggested a spot and gave her directions, but she was lost for over an hour. With her curfew in mind, she started panicking while trying to make her way home finally coming out into a familiar street just about 10 minutes ago.

“This has been a terrible afternoon!” she hissed in frustration, “I even brought my analogue camera and everything. and now I feel like I’m about to get in trouble for coming home late.”

Tsukki resisted the urge not to laugh. Kaori was crying and fuming at the same time, it was like she couldn’t choose between which emotion to feel first.

“Where is this place?” he said, trying to sound serious. After picking up Kaori’s bike off the road, he walked beside his own bike. “Enough biking for today, let’s walk home.”

Kaori described a spot right off the main road. She said it was somewhere uphill near a small park of sorts where one could see the view of Sendai from a mildly sloping patch of grass. Tsukki kind of knew the general area that Kaori described but he hadn’t been there himself.

“Why don’t you just ask your friend to go with you?” he suggested.

“Well, Yuhana-chan lives in the opposite direction of that spot. It’s very far from her house, she will need her parents to drive her there if she really wants to go.” Kaori thought aloud.

Tsukki offered to draw a map that she could use to get to the said spot for tomorrow after gymnastics.

“Should I pack lunch and just eat there after gymnastics?” she pondered.

“The spot seems nearer from home than your gym. Besides it might be too hot there if you go during lunch. Might as well just go first before you head out in the afternoon.

Besides, there is no way that I’m doing that map tonight, so you’ll have to come back for it after lunch.” he said, raising his nose at her.

Kaori, who was absorbed in her own thoughts about the next day’s adventures, was unfazed by Tsukki’s expression. If the spot seemed warm, she definitely needed to pack snacks and something to drink.

“Sure, thanks Tsukki!” she said heading to her house while waving at him, “See you tomorrow.”

Tsukki rolled his eyes at her. She seemed to have forgotten her day’s ordeals already. Kaori rolled her bike into her house and Tsukki rolled his bike into the side of their house. While he took off his shoes, his brother peered out of the dining room to greet him.

“Okairi, Kei.” he smiled warmly. Unlike Kei, Akiteru was warm, friendly and cheerful. He was affectionate and supportive of his younger brother, conscious that his brother looked up to him. Like Kei, Akiteru was a volleyball player and an ace in Junior High. Tsukki idolized him both in and out of the court.

“Kei, you’re later than usual. Did practice run late to today?” asked Akiteru.

“Practice was alright. Miyahara-san got lost and panicked. She almost crashed into me on her way down the hill because she was rushing home. She was crying for a bit and I didn’t know what to do so I waited for her to stop crying.”

“Oh, is she ok?” Akiteru’s face was marked with concern. He hadn’t expected something so serious to have happened.

“Yeah, it’s like she forgot all about it when she saw her home.” he snorted.

The boys’ mother called them for dinner and the two quickly washed up before heading for the table. After dinner, Kei insisted that his brother helped him practice his passes and receives in their backyard. As Akiteru was tossing the ball and instructing him to bend his knees some more, he asked more about Kei’s day.

“Kao-chan is a free-spirited ne?” he said, passing him the ball through an underhand toss.

“She’s so dramatic. She cries over nothing.” Kei sniffed, receiving his brother’s toss with perfect timing.

“Hmmm…it wasn’t because you were being mean to her or anything right?” Akiteru raised his brow, looking at Tsukki straight in the eye. His younger brother could be cold to kids his age. He felt that Tsukki didn’t have many friends not because he wasn’t likable or inherently a bad person, it was because he didn’t try to be nicer.

Kei hesitated and looked to the side.

“No!…” he exclaimed.

Akiteru raised both of his brows at his little brother.

“…no? Maybe?” he muttered crossing his arms grumpily, “I told her to be more careful that’s all.”

Akiteru laughed and hit him on his side, “Kei, you are a terrible liar!”

Kei cursed quietly. His brother knew him too well.

After lunch the next day, Tsukki knocked at Kaori’s door with the map at hand. She answered the door and peered closely at his map.

“I won’t get lost if I follow exactly this map, right? This is not a prank.” she said, examining the roads he had labelled onto the paper.

“Why would I make a wrong map? That’s too much work.” he said, sounding exasperated that Kaori had doubted him. He was waiting for her to deem the map usable; they stood on her front porch.

“Are you super sure that this is right?” she said, rubbing her chin with her fingers while continuing to inspect the map then peered at him.

“I’ve never actually been there.” he confessed sheepishly.

“I’ll just go with you. I kind of know where it is but I don’t know where the exact place is.” he added, “When I get bored I’ll just bike back.” He was curious what this spot looked like. His brother was in practice anyways so he had nothing better to do.

“Sounds fair,” she said, accepting his offer with her hands on her hips.

Tsukki went back home to grab his book, his phone and his bike. The two met just outside their houses and biked off with Tsukki in the lead. The path to the spot was long winding and a little off the main road. It was overwhelmingly uphill that Tsukki for a while wondered if they should’ve just walked.

After a few wrong turns, they finally found the spot. Just as Kaori’s friend described, there was a patch of grass and a glorious view of the city from a vantage point with plenty of trees. The summer breeze blew by gently. The sight took their breath away.

“Wow….” said Kaori under her breath. She parked her bike on the ground and took her things from the basket. Kaori outstretched her arms and smiled. The wind tousled her hair and jacket.

Tsukki settled himself under a tree and put on his headphones. He opened  his book and folded his legs onto himself. He swiftly lost himself in his reading.

Kaori followed suit and sat near him. She pulled a bento box of sesame cookies and a thermos accompanied by two cups from her bag as well as her watercolor set, sketchpad and camera. Occasional gusts of wind would block her eyes with her hair, but she did not seem to mind. Kaori was busy being content.

When Kaori remembered the food she had set out, she tapped Tsukki on the shoulder and pointed towards the cookies. He took a cookie, thanked her and went back to the book. She poured herself some tea before standing up to take a photo of the view.

The two hardly talked while they immersed themselves in their separate worlds for the afternoon. Kaori sat painting away while Tsukki read with his headphones on. Kaori had packed her own music, but she decided that she liked the sounds of the wind rustling tree branches better.

As Kaori flipped through another page in her sketchpad, she looked up to see that Tsukki had fallen asleep with his hand on an opened book over his chest. She took another cookie and laid on her back. The light penetrating through the leaves of the trees filled her view. She held the cookie with her teeth and took a photo of the sky with her camera.

The click from her camera woke Tsukki from his light sleep. He blinked and turned towards her. Kaori took another photo of the sky for safe keeping - her film camera wasn’t always reliable.

“I like the light from here.” she sighed softly, “It’s like it’s leaking through the sky.”

“Isn’t there a word for that? Komorebi? The light that filters through the trees?” he yawned, picking up his book back up.

“Komorebi?” she whispered to herself. She liked it how it sounded and repeated it to herself a few more times. She stuck out her arms to see the shadows of the tree play on herself.

Tsukki went back to his book. She sat back up to continue to paint. They spent the afternoon on the grass, peaceful and unhurried.When the sunset became apparent, Tsukki began packing his things, preparing to leave.

“It’s time to go,” he said, “It’s getting late.”

Kaori had begun packing her things too. Her empty thermos was stowed beside the cups in her bag. She was carefully putting her brushes away then turned to him.

“Tsukki, but the sunset is just getting good. This is the best part! Can’t we stay a little longer?” she said, unable to look away from the magnificent gradients of the sky.

“I’m going to go ahead, you can stay.” he frowned, walking towards his bike.

“But I’m not sure I remember how to go home. Can’t we stay a little longer….please???” she pleaded, clasping her hands together.

“10 more minutes!” he sighed, sitting back down beside her.

Kaori brought out her camera and snapped a photo of the sunset oohing and ahhing its colors.

“Tsukki, you should have a photo with this view.” she insisted, shuffling him towards the front of the camera.

“Eh? No!” he said, standing his ground as she gently but firmly shoved him away from the tree.

“Come on, how else will you commemorate the discovery of this spot?” she said, poking his side, “Smile ok? Film is expensive. I can only take a few pictures, not like a digital camera.”

Tsukki begrudgingly humored her and smiled in front of the camera. Afterwards, Kaori asked him to take her photo too.

When the photos were taken and the camera was packed away, they headed back down the hill towards their homes. Kaori tried not to yell as her bike plunged down the steep hill. Tsukki biked behind her, afraid to bike in front her after yesterday’s mishap. He gritted his teeth and his bike accelerated into a speed that almost flattened his glasses against his face.

They biked quietly side by side after the hill. The ride was generally silent until Kaori spoke up.

“Thanks for today, Tsukki. That spot is the best place around here. You know I was starting to think this place was boring!” she beamed, “though I was thinking maybe next time we should just walk if it wasn’t so far…”

“We?! You’re planning to drag me here again?” he exclaimed, patting his hair back into place as he saw their street approaching. The sky was holding out its last light, turning into a light shade of purple.

“I mean you don’t have to come back, but I will keep going there and you can come if you like. It’s your spot now too!” she said, turning towards him.

Tsukki never had a spot to consider his before. He had his room, but that wasn’t really the same.

From then on, they knew that patch of grass as “The Spot”. Kaori would return to it. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Tsukki through the rest of her time in Miyagi. When she moved away, it was one of the places she missed the most.

“Kind of reminds me of The Spot…” he murmured, a little nervous as he spoke. Ever since he met Kaori in class, they haven’t really spoken about their past.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been there.” she wondered.

“Yeah, it has been, for us both but more for you I guess.” he said, turning towards her.

“Did you still go there after I transferred out?” she asked, turning to face him. Her eyes were wide and curious. He looked away.

He nodded, “Once in a while. The piece reminds me of our first afternoon there. It was a little windy, we watched the view. You painted and I read.”  

Kaori looked the other way, “We’ve been there so many times, I don’t really remember the first time. It feels like all my memories there have blended together some days.” She sounded quiet and a little embarrassed that she couldn’t remember more.

“At the end of the afternoon, you took a photo. I took one of you too. We watched a bit of the sunset, but we had to go back and you had already asked for ten minutes.” he said, staring down pretending to look at the piece’s cover art.

Kaori kept silent, her hands on her lap. Leaving Miyagi was such a painful memory for her. She tried to leave her memories behind when she landed in Tokyo.

“Why choose to come back to Sendai? You seem suited towards Tokyo.” he asked, genuinely curious. He stared at her, puzzled that she willingly came back to a place that she admitted had brought her so much pain. Kaori was not one for rural and suburban living too. She was a city girl at heart. Tokyo sounded perfect.

“Two words. Scholarship offer. The university offered me a full-ride plus allowance. I didn’t have my National Team funding so it would be expensive to continue doing gymnastics on my own.” she admitted.

Kaori checked the time. They had a little more than an hour before the museum closed.

“Let’s breeze through the permanent collection,” she suggested, changing the topic.

——————————————————

Once Kaori’s feet hit the tatami of her apartment, she hurriedly went through her boxes of photos which she brought with her from her time in Miyagi prefecture and later Tokyo. She found a box labelled “Junior High”. After a few minutes of searching, she found a pile of photos labelled "Others" which she used to refer to any event that didn’t have to do with her family, school and gymnastics life.

Her fingers find two copies of the same photo of Tsukki with their first sunset at The Spot. One of the copies had writings on the back.

She had written “Thanks for bringing me here, Tsukki. We should go back!” in her script, signed with her name and the date. She must have meant to give this to him, but totally forgot.

The photo untangled their many memories in The Spot and brought back a rush of memories specific to their first afternoon: the light from the trees, the cookies and Tsukki falling asleep beside her with his book. It had been almost six years and Tsukki still remembered it all as clear as day.

Kaori picked up her phone to text him. “You were right, I did take a photo. I found it. Will bring it to you when we see each other at uni. Find me in the library tomorrow?”

In the next hour, Kaori sat on her floor and flipped through her photos from that spring. She played “Sudden Rush of Memories” by The Shanghai Restoration Project as she carefully inspected each photo to see if she remembered when they were taken and with whom. At each syncopation and rest in the music, she felt her heart stop as she reminisced on her past that she had buried when she moved to Tokyo. The nostalgia of her time in junior High mixed with memory of her injuries and her parents’ separation brought a wave of inexplicable emotions.

The next day Kaori was in the library trying to cram some study time between her last class and her training when Tsukki pulled out a chair across her and brought out his books.

“How did you find me?” she jolted up, visibly surprised.

“You sat at this spot the last time I was in the library, thought I’d find you here again.” he said in hushed tones, “and didn’t you tell me to find you in the library before your training?”

Kaori ignored his question and slipped the photo to him. Tsukki’s expression asked whether she was lending or giving it to him. She flipped the photo over to show him the writing.

“I had two copies made because I wanted to make sure you got your own. It’s yours now.” she explained quietly.

Tsukki carefully slipped the photo into one of his books and began studying. He had some time before his training began. They sat absorbed in their separate worlds, catching up with their school work and passing the hours of their afternoon allowed by their schedules with their books.

When Tsukki got home after his training, his brother had already laid out dinner on the table. He had made cabbage salad, and pork cutlet curry bowls on top of the usual miso soup and rice. Akiteru greeted him brightly and shuffled dinner from the kitchen counter to their dining table.

“Let’s eat!” he said, gesturing for his younger brother to come sit. Tsukki put away his things and brought out one of his books from his bag.

Tsukki nods. He quickly puts his sweaty clothes away. His usual bag was getting smelly, he aired out his books while on his desk. He brought out one book to read during dinner.

Akiteru noticed the photo slipped into the book. He pulled it out to look at it. He flipped it around surprised to see the handwritten note at the back.

‘Who took this photo?” he casually flips the photo surprised to find the writing at the back. He smiles a bit.

“I didn’t know you kept this after all these years.”

“I didn’t. I met Kaori the other day. She gave me this.”  

Akiteru raised his brows, eyes widening as he inspected the photo.  He hadn’t heard about her since she left. When she moved, he assumed it was permanent. What brought her back?

“She’s in Miyagi again?” he commented with a neutral tone.

“Sports scholarship offer from the university,” said Tsukki.

“We were in the same class last semester and I ran into her the other day. That’s all.” explained Tsukki, sipping through his miso soup. His tone indicated that was the end of the topic.

Akiteru nodded and backed away from the topic. His younger brother was not ready to talk about it. He put the photo down and began digging through his rice.

Kaori’s relationship with Kei was unique in many aspects. For one, he calls her by her first name despite his persistent habit of addressing his few close friends strictly by their last names. Kei had always been private about the time he spent with Kaori. Even when the two were close, Kei kept his stories and comments about Kaori to a minimum.

After chores and homework were said and done, Tsukki laid down on his bed. He took the photo back out and played “Sudden Rush of Memories” with his headphones on. The piece took him back to many an afternoon, lying flat on his back as the spring breeze gently blew by. He could hear Kaori’s camera clicking beside him. Closing his eyes as if he was back on “The Spot” for the first time, he placed his hand on his chest and dozed off into the night.

----------------------------------------------------

Read the rest of the chapters:

|| Chap. 2 (AO3) || Chap. 3

[honeyrose-tea]

this has been a strange start to the new year for sure. how are you doing? what did you think of the situation in the capitol? any thoughts or worries about the rest of the month? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on everything. -🌙

thank you so much for the ask💞 almost every day I check my inbox anticipating the next time I'll hear from you. just knowing that someone cares.... it really does a lot for my self-esteem. I don't have many friends right now and the few I do are very busy and have a lot of things they would rather do than talk to me. thank you for making time to listen to me and ask me how I'm doing. you wouldn't believe how many people don't. I haven't always been the most consistent presence for you and I'm sorry. I'm trying to do better and be less selfish because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that. thank you for always being kind to me, pen pal.

there is a lot I want to say regarding the capitol and the situation in the country in general. as a social science student (and hopefully one day a professor!) these situations are of great academic interest to me. as a bisexual woman and an informed US citizen who cares about my rights I am also very personally vested in American issues. but first I would like to tackle your question regarding how I'm doing:)

I'm doing pretty good. classes have started back up but most of mine are online. I'm thinking of switching to online exclusively because of how much emotional (and sometimes physical) labor in-person classes are, and also for the sake of my health and my parents'. it's funny how so many things we did with ease before the pandemic seem so burdensome now. even small interactions are anxiety-inducing now, and I find myself having a hard time socializing even casually. like a muscle that has atrophied without use, my social skills are awful now. on a happier note, my productivity and creativity are both at all-time highs since social interactions aren't using up all my energy anymore. I brought my record player to my dorm room and I've been listening to a bunch of music, I've also been writing and recording some music of my own. I have a couple of demos and if you or anyone else is interested, I'll post them on here. once I record and edit full band versions I'll put them up on my soundcloud. I've tried sharing some of my stuff with some friends but none of them really care and I don't want to annoy them. besides, it's more for myself anyway. I wang to prove to myself that I can make music and that I can say something worth saying. a lot of my struggle over the past 6 months has been that I feel as though nothing I do or say can change anything, that none of my actions matter. I struggle a lot with control and I've been working on it for years, but it's still really hard for me. anyway. I'm enjoying class and what I do outside of it. I've been in my element living alone again (in my dorm) and feeling free to wear/do/say what I want, when I want. I wash my dishes and sing to myself and manage my time and drink lots of artificially sweetened and heavily flavored coffee without anyone around to judge me. and I get to cry and masturbate when I want, both of which are helpful in regulating my moods. I don't know. it's not like I'm doing anything exciting, but I am doing each thing I do well and with a happy heart. I feel like this portion of my life is something of a hibernation- the winter seasons combined with the pandemic have me in a cozy little daydream, reading and self-reflecting and getting back in tune with myself and my passions. I have a feeling that the spring and summer will be very vibrant bustling months so I am trying to enjoy my rest and soak in as much knowledge about myself and the world around me as I can. it's hard for me to live in the present and not get antsy (connected to control issues, I think) but I'm getting better at it. on the subject of the future, I've also been using this time to look into grad school and prepare for the GRE (a standardized test required for most grad school applications, similar to the ACT/SAT). I'm learning a lot that I didn't know since neither of my parents went further than undergrad, and I'm getting excited. I'm really looking forward to doing research. I've already been collecting some thesis ideas for an undergraduate-level thesis that I have to complete next year for the honors college, and hopefully I can turn that into a masters and/or PHD thesis when the time comes. now, on to more important matters than my silly little life.

I have very complicated feelings about america. I do have some attachment to some of the original ideas that are at the foundation- "bring me your huddled masses...", "all men are created equal", the general spirit of democracy, etc.- all of these are valid and worth keeping (in some form) to me. I think a lot of good people and ideas exist around us and I believe that we must be as empathetic and kind as possible to one another in order to navigate the current climate and preserve the good that we do have. that said, america was also founded on some pretty terrible, bigoted principles and our history- as well as our present- is marred by injustices. our society has become highly individualistic because of capitalism, and it has resulted in considerable division on every level. the competition that fuels capitalism is like an invasive species of plant, it does not only exist within our economy but it slithers out into our social world and the way we relate to others. I think capitalism coupled with our post-enlightenment founding is the source of most all of our problems as a country. capitalism has taken root in america in a way more malicious and all-consuming than in any other culture, because it was there at the beginning of our country and all of our social norms have grown out of it. many other cultures have existed long before capitalism and though it has modified their culture, it has not altogether become it. because america was founded on capitalism, we have no cultural identity outside of it. america is, itself, capitalism. that is precisely why america is experiencing all of the best and worst parts of capitalism at their most extreme. it is why, as I mentioned previously, we are perhaps the most divisive and competitive society in the modern world, and probably in history. we are the richest and most powerful country but we have the largest wealth gap and incarceration rate, among many other extremes.

all of this is to say that the rise of Trump and fascism in this country has been a long time coming, and unmistakably inevitable. to defeat it we will have to break america down to its fundamentals, throw out everything that is unethical and unjust, and rebuild our entire society from there. this is radical and hard to imagine, it will also be very difficult to execute, but I strongly believe that much of our societal systems just cannot be reformed, they must be thrown out and replaced.

the capitol riots were inexcusable and sickening but decidedly inevitable. this has been steadily building for america's entire existence. I think it will get worse before it gets better, as there are already plans for bigger and more numerous protests across the country in the following weeks. that said, I feel hopeful as I see the anti-fascist movement grow in the wake of fascism, I am hopeful as I see many people being radicalized and awakened to the realities of this country's failings. I don't know how exactly we will even begin to rid ourselves of the biases, prejudices, and downright hatred that plagues our country. I don't know how we will relate on an individual level to those with such deeply-ingrained hate in their hearts. I don't know how we will change our systems of government and economy to reflect new cultural values that we begin to build together. I am not sure what the future will hold. I do believe, however, that we will triumph over this moment and that the future will be better. I think that the only way to radically change and unite so many vastly different people and remove the blinders from their eyes is through a terrible, historic awakening like the one we are having now. the situation itself is awful, but I am hopeful that out of this mess we become a nation more committed to justice and to some of the ideals which we have falsely claimed to be emulating for our entire history.

so yes, I am worried about the next few weeks, months, and even years. there is no end to the pursuit of a just society, and I think every informed citizen is always a bit apprehensive about certain aspects of their culture. there will always be problems to combat and injustices to rectify, but I think that we will soon be moving to a better place, that we will remember these moments and say, "never again". I am hopeful, despite seeing some of the worst of humanity in recent days, that these atrocities will bring positive change.

I know that was long and instead of discussing issues about the capitol, or even just current political issues, I expanded the scope considerably and dragged in a lot of things from history and grander sociopolitical theories. still, I think it is hard to talk about the insurrection attempt without talking about a lot more. thank you for reading my takes and caring about them. I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, and it feels nice to share them with someone other than my annoyed professors who want me to shut up so they can finish the lecture and stick to their semester schedule.

I hope you're well and that you're staying safe and healthy. are you in school now too? have you or your family had the virus? thank you for coming to talk to me, I always enjoy it. I'll talk to you again soon💞

[pettybkang]

U GOT IT

Group: X1

Pairing: Seungwoo + Y/N. 

Genre: Professors!AU.

Word count: 8k+

Description:  “Y/N had joked about inviting Seungwoo, but at the same time, she hoped her friend would bite the bait. She knows Esmée doesn’t ignore a dare and it would be really nice to be able to dance with Seungwoo at a night club, a little bit too drunk to care. Y/N might even forget how horrible finals week really is if she gets to see that stupid smile by the end of it.”

“How does one spell together? Is it H after G or H after the second T?” Y/N heard the voice of her best friend coming from the living room while she cooked them both dinner. Esmée had gone to catch her phone to send a text and now was pretty much yelling so that her entire building could hear that she didn’t know how to spell together.  

“Are you sure you are a professor? That teaches, you know, Linguistics at NYU?” Y/N just raised her eyebrow while mixing the ingredients inside the pan. 

“I’m certain. There are a few diplomas at my place to prove it. I’m a Ph.D. or whatever. How do I spell it?” 

“H after the last T, genius.” 

“Thanks!” Esmée pressed send and walked all the way to the kitchen. She wasn’t really allowed to touch, but the woman was certainly great at talking and doing a lot of watching and asking questions. “Seungyoun wants to do a research together,” she said the moment she stepped back into the kitchen. 

“The other language nerd Seungyoun?” Y/N didn’t even bat an eye. Both women didn’t live together, but they do live five floors from each other and have been friends for a few years now. Y/N knows everything about Esmée, Esmée knows everything about Y/N. 

“There are several language nerds at NYU, you know? But sure. The other language nerd,” Esmée was leaning against the counter, champagne glass in hand again. 

“You two are always together. Might as well get some work done,” Y/N said, grabbing a clean spoon to taste the sauce. “What does he want to research?” 

“The impact music trends have on people’s interest in learning a different language,” Esmée shrugged, checking her phone again. “And if it makes it easier or harder for people to lean said languages.” 

“See? Language nerds.” 

“I don’t call you a cuisine nerd just because you know thirty types of olive oil,” Esmée pointed out, sipping from her glass again. 

Y/N shrugged, drank some from her own glass and look up from the pan. “I’m Italian. It has nothing to do with what I teach.” 

“You wrote a book about the origin of gnocchi.” 

“Very Italian of me, if I may point out.” 

“Whatever,” Esmée finished her glass and set it on the counter. She had set the table earlier, mixed the salad and also made them some strawberry juice. That’s how far Y/N would allow her to go in her kitchen, so now the linguistics professor was a bit bored as she waited for the food. “How’s your research going?” 

“Which one?” 

“The one with Seungwoo. Weren’t you guys looking for all the similarities within Italian and Korean cuisine?” 

“Oh, that one. I shouldn’t have said yes. I should have known I would have to try the food at some point. And Korean food is really spicy? And I’m a little allergic to all things spicy? I set myself up in this one.” 

Esmée had started laughing midway, filling her glass with a bit more champagne and shaking her head at her friend. “This is why you shouldn’t accept working with someone just because you have a crush on them.” 

“I do not have a crush on Seungwoo,” Y/N rolled her eyes, reaching for the plates to plate their dinners. Pear and brie risotto, mixed greens and steak. Esmée just nodded and moved to fill Y/N’s glass before taking it to the dinner table. 

They sat facing each other, changing the subject as they started eating. Their students would always give them good stories to tell and besides that, they both worked at crazy departments. Y/N at the Center for European and Mediterranean Studies and Esmée at the Department of Anthropology and Linguistics. The men they mentioned are also professors at NYU - Seungyoun share the same departments as Esmée and Seungwoo works at the Department of East Asian Studies. 

Esmée and Seungyoun met the day she joined NYU as a professor. Being the language nerd that Seungyoun is, he filled her with questions on her first day the moment he saw her to check if they shared interests. Esmée responded to those questions with more questions of her own and they haven’t stopped since. The other professors in the Department of Linguistics think it’s impossible for someone to speak that much, but they manage. 

As Esmée and Y/N do pretty much everything together, when Parasite - the movie - came out, the younger dragged the older one to see it. They ended up meeting Seungyoun there by chance and he had also brought a friend, Seungwoo. The four professors went out for drinks after the movie to discuss it - Esmée and Seungyoun wouldn’t shut up about it, Y/N and Seungwoo got closer as they complained about the lack of options of what to order for dinner. 

They found out then that both studied the cuisine and food origins of their respective countries - Y/N being Italian and Seungwoo being Korean - and got even closer after that. Esmée swears to everything holy that Y/N has a crush on Seungwoo. Y/N more often than not plans to murder her best friend. 

As soon as dinner was done, they did the dishes and grabbed another bottle of champagne, taking it to the living room with them. Y/N put a movie on, a Christmas story, and that’s how their night ended. With lots of champagne, a sweet movie and lots of gossip in their pajamas. Esmée went up to her apartment on the fifteenth floor and Y/N went into her bedroom to sleep.  

Sunday was done. 

Finals were about to start at NYU. 

x

Some people know how hard students have during finals. All that studying, stressing, the fear of failing an entire course just because you got a few answers wrong. But not as many people know how hard professors have during finals. Sure, most have assistants and most don’t do much work by themselves, but there’s always some correction, evaluation and preparation to be done. By the second day, Y/N was a stress mess. 

She was running up and down the building looking for her assistant and then for the copies her assistant was supposed to deliver, but lost. Gabriel was lucky she had the swearing gene Italians usually have locked behind doors inside of her, otherwise, he would have known a very different side of her. 

After sending her assistant home, Y/N walked all the way to her next class ready to fail the first student that dared raise their hand during the final. 

“Yes, it’s me today…” she said the moment she walked in, watching the reaction of her students. With a thud, she dropped everything by her desk and then circled it, leaning back against it, arms crossed. “We’re starting the final in ten. No, you’re not allowed to use your notes. Please, pay attention and mark the correct answer. If I catch any of you cheating, you’re done,” she reached behind herself and grabbed the pile of tests. 

Handing it to the first student in front of her, she asked them to pass it around and leave the rest at the desk by the door. After a bit more explaining, the test started and she remained leaning against her desk, watching them. 

Fifteen minutes in, she heard a soft knock by the door and there stood Seungwoo. He walked in quietly, a soft smile on his lips and two cups of coffee on his hands. As soon as he got close enough, he handed one to Y/N and a loud collective relieved sigh could be heard in the room. She frowned at her students, about to tell them off, but was cut off by Seungwoo. 

“Caramel Macchiato with extra cinnamon,” he pretty much whispered as he nudged her to take the coffee. “I saw Gabriel almost falling while running up the stairs earlier. Thought he had screwed up again,” he added with a smile.  

Y/N just took the coffee and shook her head a little, moving her attention back to her students. Seungwoo followed, leaning against the desk too and shoving his free hand on the pocket of his very fancy pair of pants, Y/N had noticed as he walked in.

He checked his watch one and then again a few minutes later, squeezing her wrist to get her attention and waving goodbye - he had his own class to teach now. Y/N just waved and thanked him again for the coffee, now an empty cup left on top of her desk. As soon as he was gone, she circled the desk again and finally sat down on her chair to wait for her students to finish their finals. 

She would never say it out loud, but her favorite moments at work were whenever Seungwoo would show up with some random coffee order he thought were her favorite for the week. Esmée would never let her hear the end of it if she ever says it out loud. 

A student was already done with his test, making Y/N frown and break her chain of thoughts. He handed the test and quickly got out, leaving the professor with the half-empty test in hands. She rolled her eyes, another student that would have to take her class again next semester. 

x

“Esmée!” she heard from a distance, which made her look around and stop in the middle of the way of some students who were going up and down campus. “Es!” she heard again, louder this time. Then she decided to turn around and there he was. Seungyoun. Running towards her. 

Esmée waved with one hand, a matcha latte on the other. “Did your students finish their finals for the day?” she asked as soon as he was close enough. 

“Oh, I didn’t schedule any for today. Most of them told me they had yours today, so I scheduled mine for Thursday,” he said, shrugging and with a smile on his lips. 

“That’s why they like you more than they like me,” Esmée pouted, taking the cup of matcha to her lips then. 

“That’s a huge lie. They love your class and you know it,” Seungyoun said and Esmée instantly made a face at him, showing him her tongue. “But, uh… Did you think about that research? What do you say?” 

“Hmmmm, sure. Let’s do it,” she gave him a smile, nodding at him. “But I just wanna let it known that I’m extremely organized when it comes to research,” Esmée eyed him, Seungyoun being known in the department for sometimes losing student’s tests or grades. 

The other professor just laughed it off, giving her a face. “Let’s talk about it once finals are over then,” he smiled, making Esmée smile too. “I gotta go, some students are waiting for me,” he added as he pointed towards the building and started walking back. 

Esmée and Seungyoun waved their goodbyes and went their separate ways. She made a mental note to invite him to her favorite café after this week was over so they could discuss the preparations for the research and everything they would need to go after to be able to publish it. 

The woman kept making her way out of the campus towards her car, but before she could reach it she was stopped by several different students, two other professors, and even her own assistant. Finals were definitely hard for professors too. 

“We should go out for a drink once this week is over,” Esmée said the moment she saw Y/N. Her best friend was carrying a pile of tests out of her center building and she reached to help, taking half from Y/N’s arms. 

“We might as well go for a drink now,” Y/N just kept walking, hoping Esmée was following. “Otherwise I might just kill my assistant before the week is over.” 

“Sorry to disappoint, but I have the morning class tomorrow and I don’t think I can pay attention to all of those presentations if I’m hangover,” Esmée pouted as she followed Y/N, noticing her friend was making a beeline towards Esmée’s car. Apparently she was taking her home today. “We can go to that bar… What’s its name? Moment or whatever on Friday.” 

Y/N just slowed down a little, but kept walking. “I’m listening,” she added. 

Esmée laughed, shaking her head and speeding up a little to catch up. “I know they’re having a pop night or whatever. It’s perfect music to get drunk to and forget we have to deal with young adults for a living, even though we’re not that old,” she shrugged. “We can even call Seungwoo,” Esmée winked and stepped aside, afraid she might get hit. 

“Fine,” Y/N shrugged, making Esmée look at her wide-eyed. “You can invite him. I’m sure he won’t go to a bar on Friday night. Or a night club even. Good luck,” she added with a laugh. 

Esmée rolled her eyes and unlocked her car, letting Y/N put all the papers on her backseat first and them pilling up the rest on top. They both got into the car and the younger professor drove them both back home, to their apartments.

Y/N had joked about inviting Seungwoo, but at the same time, she hoped her friend would bite the bait. She knows Esmée doesn’t ignore a dare and it would be really nice to be able to dance with Seungwoo at a night club, a little bit too drunk to care. Y/N might even forget how horrible finals week really is if she gets to see that stupid smile by the end of it. 

x

“We’re going out on Friday. And you can’t say no,” was the first thing Esmée said the moment she saw Seungyoun the next day. They were in the middle of the hallway and some students even frowned at them - Esmée even noticed one of them quickly typing to let their friends know about the newly found gossip. 

It isn’t news that Seungyoun and Esmée do everything together for the staff, but for some students it might be. 

“Okay… I’m listening?” the man simply adjusted his round glasses, crossing his arms and stopping everything to pay attention to the woman. 

“There’s this club Y/N and I usually go to… I mean, not usually since we rarely go to clubs but you get the idea. They’re having a pop night or whatever on Friday. The best type of music ever to completely forget about finals,” she stopped, biting on her lower lip for a second. 

“But…?” Seungyoun continued for her, making her shrug and laugh a little. 

“We have to convince Seungwoo to go.” 

“Seungwoo? My Seungwoo? Korean cuisine studies Seungwoo?” If by the number of question Seungyoun didn’t seem confused enough, he made sure to show a very confused face as he stared at Esmée. “I’m 90% certain he never leaves the house.” 

“Oh, but he does! He goes to all of those work-dates with Y/N!” Esmée said, sounding a bit hopeful. 

Seungyoun gave it some thought, convincing his best friend to go to a nightclub would not be an easy feat, but they could try. He finally shrugged, giving Esmée a smile. “Can I tell him Y/N is also going?” 

With a smile, and a shared knowing look, Esmée nodded. “You’re both going to love the place! I mean it. They make a very good, uh… beer?” 

“Very convincing,” Seungyoun laughed, shaking his head a little. He placed his hand on her arm, giving it a little squeeze. “You better talk to him too if you see him. Guilt trip him into going.” 

“Oh, I’m great at that,” she added, a smile on her lip. 

Seungyoun wanted to agree, but he just laughed it off. They waved their goodbyes and followed with their day. Esmée would have lunch and then move to one of her afternoon classes and Seungyoun had some researches to read and review. It was Wednesday, which meant they still had two days to convince Seungwoo to go out with them.

x

Later that afternoon, Seungyoun was walking out of the campus’ coffee shop when he spotted Y/N sitting at one of their tables. She was obviously busy, laptop opened in front of her while she typed something furiously. He noticed a half-empty cup of whatever latte they were serving that day and decided that joining her wouldn’t be a bad idea. 

“Hey!” Seungyoun didn’t even wait for Y/N to invite him to sit, he just did. Placing his books on the table and his cup of iced Americano in front of him. “Finals are a pain, aren’t they?” 

“They definitely are,” Y/N said, only giving him a look before going back to her laptop. Even though Esmée and Seungyoun could talk nonstop for hours, it didn’t work the same for Seungyoun and Y/N. He knows they are friends because Y/N has said so several times… But he might be just a little afraid of her. “But they aren’t kicking my ass this year. Your best friend is.” 

“My best friend? Esmée?” Seungyoun frowned in confusion as he looked at her. 

“No, idiot. That’s my best friend. Think again,” she rolled her eyes, still typing. She only stopped when Seungyoun finally guessed the correct name - Seungwoo - and asked her what he had done wrong now. Y/N siped from her latte. “This stupid research we’re doing together. I’m allergic to pepper, you know? Do you know how spicy Korean food is?” He raised an eyebrow, pointed to himself and Y/N just nodded. “Of course you do, you’re also Korean.” 

“Why did you agree to all the taste testing thing then? I’m sure Seungwoo wouldn’t force feed you spicy topokki.” 

“Because I’m an idiot, that’s why,” she rolled her eyes, finally put the cup down and went back to working on her paper. “And because your best friend has very long legs, very long arms, very long fingers, and a very nice looking stupid face.” 

Seungyoun made a face, raising his cup and finally fishing his phone from his pocket. When he was about to type something, Y/N was staring at him again. 

“If you ever tell Esmée I said any of this, I’m going to murder you.” 

He just kept looking at her, cell phone in one hand, his drink on the other. His thumb moved slightly to the corner of the screen, probably to press send on something. Seungyoun shrugged and shoved his phone in his pocket, quickly picking up his books to leave. “I don’t know any Esmées,” he said as he tried his best to wave while holding books and a cup of coffee. 

Y/N just groaned, rubbing her hands over her own face. The moment Seungyoun went through the doors and left the coffee shop, she heard the ding from her phone. And it went on for at least ten more texts. She was about to murder two language nerds. 

x

Esmée was 95% sure that Seungyoun was dead by now after sending her that text, letting her know that Y/N was talking about Seungwoo with heart eyes and talking about his stupid good looking face and etc. She should congratulate him on his courage later that day. 

Right now she had a phone call to make.

She had gotten Seungwoo’s number ages ago, the day they met, to keep in touch in case they ever wanted to go to the movies together again. Now, going through the isles of food at the supermarket, she decided it was the best time to call and let him know there would be a party happening. Esmée and Seungyoun had come up with a plan and they were both sure it was going to work. 

He picked up after the fourth ring. 

“Hey, Es!” he said, soft voice and all. “Is everything okay?” 

“Oh, everything is awesome. Just a bit tired,” her smile obvious on her voice. “Finals are so exhausting.” 

“Tell me about it… I just went through so many horrible presentations,” he laughed. Everything was so soft about Seungwoo that sometimes Esmée couldn’t tell how Y/N felt for him - sometimes opposites do attract. 

“Wanna forget all about them on Friday?” Esmée saw the opportunity and took it. And then instantly regretted it when she noticed it sounded like she was inviting him out on a date. “I mean…” she quickly added. “Seungyoun, Y/N and I are going to this party at Moment. It’s a very nice club.” 

“A party? I’m not really that type of person…” he started and Esmée could see the confused face right in front of her. She rolled her eyes, this is what she gets for trying to get Y/N a man. 

“It’s going to be awesome! And Y/N is going to be there…” she paused for effect, throwing a bag of chocolate-covered cookies into her shopping card. “Seungyoun and I will also be there, of course. They have some mean… Tequila Sunrises,” she frowned at her choice of words. 

“I’ll give it some thought,” he laughed a bit nervously from his end of the phone call. 

“Great! Some thought is great,” she said, now looking at frozen food options. “Talk to you tomorrow then, bye Seungwoo!” Esmée quickly hung up, shoving her phone into her back pocket and picking up three different types of frozen pizza. 

Only then she remembered to text Seungyoun. 

Horrible idea. We’re never doing phone call plans again. -EM

Did he say no? -CSY 

Not really. He said he will give it some thought or whatever. It’s on you now. -EM And you owe me. Two drinks. -EM

Wait… Weren’t you the one who asked me for this favor? -CSY 

Well, you came up with the plan. -EM 

Not sure how fair this sounds… but sure. -CSY 

Finally shoving her phone back into her back pocket, Esmée moved on with her shopping. She would get Seungwoo on that club on Friday. Even if she had to make three more phone calls until then - or maybe two… yeah, two only. Two is a good number. 

x

And then Thursday came, and another lunch that Seungwoo and Y/N would share together also came. Esmée calls them work-dates, Seungyoun calls them lunch-dates, Y/N and Seungwoo call them research. But on the inside, both might wish that they were something more - one more deep down than the other. 

It was an Italian restaurant today - for Y/N’s sake - and they’d be having cappelletti soup. The recipe happened to be the closest she could find to a mandu in Italian cuisine, which was the chapter they were on now. They had already covered spaghetti, risottos and some meat cuts. The sauces was the hardest for Y/N and she was already dreading the side dishes because kimchi was on its way. 

Esmée had brought a container home once that Seungyoun’s mom had sent her. According to her friend it was delicious, she finished it in a week, but Y/N tried a bit and had to chug an entire glass of milk. She wasn’t a very reliable source to ask how spicy something is anyway. 

They had already had their salads and were drinking a glass of wine each. Seungwoo had gotten there first and got them a table at the corner of this very tiny and homey Italian place. He had his legs crossed, his shirt had an extra button opened and Y/N was sure her cheeks were blushing because of the wine. She had been so stressed the past week with finals, her assistant being as incompetent as possible and her students asking stupid questions that finally being able to relax definitely came in handy. Relax staring at Seungwoo’s extra opened button was just a bonus she was willing to live with. 

“You know,” he started, making Y/N look from her glass up to him. The hair falling on his face, as usual, the point beautiful nose and the ridiculous smile. Maybe she should also stop drinking. “Esmée and Seungyoun keep insisting I go to this party with you guys tomorrow…” 

And there it was. Her best friend and her stupid nerd friend to ruin the moment. 

“Oh, do they? We’re going to Moment tomorrow. It’s a club Es and I usually go to when we want to relax. The music is good, we rarely meet students and the drinks are pretty good since she doesn’t really drink beer,” she started rambling, leaning back and bringing her glass in her hand. “Finals have been so hard on us she thought it would be a good idea to have a little fun.” 

“It sounds like a nice place,” he smiled, drinking some water and giving the waiter a smile as he placed both their plates down and thanking him for it. “Seungyoun texted me all night about it,” he stopped for a moment to blow on his soup a little so it wasn’t so hot and Y/N remembered what she had told Seungyoun the day before. She blushed even deeper, finishing her glass of wine in one sip before Seungwoo could continue. “I think he doesn’t want to look stupid in front of Esmée.” 

And then Y/N almost spit everything. The woman swallowed thickly, eyes wide as she looked at Seungwoo. “He always does, tho?” She straightened her posture, starting to pay attention to her soup now - the same as Seungwoo. “I mean… I do call them language nerds for a reason.”  

“I know… I mean, it came off as really weird when he told me he needed me there because of her,” he shrugged and then Y/N finally got it. So Esmée had recruited Seungyoun to help her convince Seungwoo to go to the party on Friday… And Seungyoun being the idiot he is for her best friend definitely said yes.

She nodded, taking a bite from her food. “Mhm, it definitely sounds a bit weird, but isn’t he your best friend? You should help him with girl problems,” she moved to drink some water, eyes still on Seungwoo. 

The man had his eyes on the soup, gave it some thought and looked up with a smile. “He doesn’t really help me with mine though,” he scrunched his nose and let himself laugh. “He actually makes it more difficult,” Seungwoo added and sipped from his wine. 

Y/N let herself laugh, but couldn’t help but think what Seungwoo meant with those words. They talked a lot more about the food then as they compared it with the mandu they had had a few days ago - Y/N took out her iPad with her notes, Seungwoo his little notebook. After lunch was over and they had made new notes on what to add to their research, they walked back to campus together - Seungwoo had some orientation to give, Y/N had her last final of the week to deal with. 

They were on the hallway parting way when Seungwoo turned around and waved at her. “See you tomorrow night!” he said, a huge smile on his lips. 

Y/N smiled back, waving quickly. “See you!” she wanted to add something more. Maybe I can’t wait! or I’m super excited, are you? or You’re going to love the club! but all she did was turn around, bite on her lower lip and quickly move to her next class. She would have to make Seungyoun talk about this girl problem that he isn’t really helping Seungwoo with. 

And the best way to get him talking lives a few floors above her. 

x

At night, Y/N made her way up to the fifteenth floor. Her plan was to bother Esmée so much she would facetime Seungyoun to get the answer she need. Who was Seungwoo in love with? Why does he need help with girl problems? Who’s this girl, anyway? Her head was flooding with questions as she waited for the elevator to reach the correct floor. She had her hair tied up and wasn’t even wearing shoes - just socks and slippers. 

She heard a weird noise when she knocked, as if Esmée was shushing someone but didn’t think much of it. “Oh, it’s you,” she said, stepping out and closing the door behind her. “Shoot.” 

Y/N frowned, looking at the closed door behind her best friend. Maybe she had someone over - which didn’t make sense because Esmée made sure to always share every tiny detail of her life with Y/N. The Italian cuisine professor even knows about Esmée’s brother first trip to a motel, why wouldn’t she know about someone coming over on a Thursday night? She shrugged it off and got her business face on. “I need you to call Seungyoun. I need some answers to some stuff.” 

“Now?” Esmée looked both confused and surprised. “What sort of answers?” 

“Seungwoo related answered. The type of answer only Seungyoun can give me,” she started talking with the help of her hands. “We went out for lunch today and he told me he has been having girl problems that Seungyoun isn’t helping him with. Which makes him a crappy best friend, but okay.” 

As if on cue, the professor yelled from inside of Esmée’s apartment. “He doesn’t have any girl problems I know of!” 

“Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?” Esmée finally pushed the door open, giving him a face before turning back to Y/N with a smile. “Well, you can ask him… I guess. Wine?” she said as she walked in, ignoring Y/N’s look and knowing smile, as she pushed her best friend in by the arm. 

Seungyoun had his glasses on, his longish hair a mess and a laptop on his lap. The scene wasn’t really what Y/N expected - or maybe it was what she hoped for? - there were zero linguistics books on the coffee table, only two glasses of wine and their phones. They had paused whatever was on the TV so Esmée could get the door and German subtitles were on. She couldn’t really see what was there on Seungyoun’s laptop screen because he closed it when she got closer. 

“He told me he has girl problems you’re not helping him with though…” Y/N added, sitting right next to him on the couch. Esmée almost groaned from the kitchen, she loves her best friend but today was so not the day. She came back with a clean glass and filled it up with wine for Y/N. 

Seungyoun gave Y/N a look and then Esmée, who had sat down on an armchair and signaled for him to answer. “As far as I know, he’s in love with his research. He likes going to this little lunch-dates with you and is always talking about the similarities you two are finding together. I even know you guys had lunch together today,” he adjusted his glasses, pointing at Y/N. “You’re literally the only woman he talks about. And as far as I can tell, there aren’t any girl problems going on or whatever.” 

Esmée was just quietly drinking her wine, watching them talk. Seungyoun had come over after Seungwoo had told him he was going to the club with them. He apparently owed the girl two drinks and that’s why he showed up with two bottles of wine and pizza. Half-cheese, half-pepperoni. Extra cheese on everything. It took them a while to choose what to watch, but settled for The Witcher - the German subtitles were only there because it was the language Esmée was trying to learn now. Seungyoun had just managed the courage to wrap his arm around her shoulders when Y/N knocked on the door. 

The woman was watching her best friend and her crush talk, but her eyes were mostly on Seungyoun as she drank her wine. 

“Did he say yes to going to the club anyway?” Y/N said, finally looking at Esmée - who almost jumped out of her seat. 

“Mhm, he texted Seungyoun earlier about it. He’s going to meet him earlier and we’re going to meet them there. Wear something cute,” she winked at her best friend and Y/N almost threw her wine at Esmée. 

Finishing another glass in stress that day, Y/N stood up and moved to the door. “I’m gonna let you two go back to… whatever you two were doing with your clothes still on,” she said, which made Seungyoun’s cheeks go bright red and Esmée roll her eyes. “See you tomorrow!” Y/N added as Esmée pushed her past the door. “Behave!” The last word came as a yell from outside of the apartment as Esmée closed the door on her face. 

Y/N went back to her own apartment a bit more confused than she had been before talking to Seungyoun. So Seungwoo didn’t really have girl problems? Why did he mention it, then? Why does he tell Seungyoun everything about their lunches together? 

When she was finally inside her place, she texted Esmée. 

You’re so dead for not telling me Seungyoun would be coming over. -Y/N

The reply came pretty fast. 

He showed up. I didn’t actually invite him. -EM 

So maybe they weren’t really doing what Y/N thought they were. Maybe the two idiots are really just two idiots. 

Putting a frozen pizza on the oven, she moved to her room to figure out what to wear at Moment the next day. Seungwoo was going to be there and she hoped for all things holy that he would be alone for most of it - or alone with her. 

x

Friday flew by. 

She had driven with Esmée to the campus that morning and was a bit surprised that Seungyoun hadn’t spent the night over. Y/N didn’t ask since her friend apparently wasn’t willing to talk much about it. Maybe she was still figuring out her obvious feelings for him. 

Thinking about it, Y/N couldn’t help but think of both of them as two idiots in love. Esmée and her friendship turned into something else and Y/N with that research as an excuse to go on date after date with Seungwoo. 

They had stopped for coffee on their way into the campus and that was the last time she saw Esmée that day. The younger professor ordered a matcha latte and vanished into her department, while Y/N had to walk a few extra buildings holding her salt caramel machiatto to get into hers. 

She didn’t hear much from Seungyoun or Seungwoo too. She saw the Korean cuisine professor quick in the hallway and then never again and she was sure she had seen Seungyoun at a bistro during lunch, but she waved and he didn’t really wave back. 

With the night getting closer and closer, Y/N started to feel both excited and anxious. This had been a horrible idea. Why did she dare Esmée to do anything? Or course her best friend would find a way to get Seungwoo to go to the damn party. Why did she even agree to go to this stupid club? They’re all way too old for this. It would have been better to stay home and drink a few bottles of wine. 

Those were her thoughts inside the Uber on her way home. She was going to text Esmée and let her know that she wouldn’t be able to go. Would the sick excuse fool her friend? Probably not, but Y/N would have to try. 

If you bail, I’m going to hate you forever. -EM 

Was the text Esmée sent her the moment Y/N stepped foot at home. 

How did you know? - Y/N 

You didn’t say anything about going to the party for the entire afternoon. I just assumed. Now I know. -EM 

Damn. -Y/N 

She left her phone and bag on the couch, moving to take a shower. After washing her hair and drying it, Y/N went back to texting Esmée. She let her friend know she would be going to the party anyway, she just needed to relax a little. The whole Seungwoo has girl problems thing was maybe getting to her a bit harder than she had expected. 

Esmée made sure to reassure her friend, reminding her that Seungyoun had mentioned that Y/N is the only one Seungwoo talks about. Maybe he was just teasing her during lunch, playing a little. Who knows? She would have to go to find out, according to Esmée. Seungyoun had made sure that Seungwoo would be there. 

After a heated up risotto for Y/N and a plate of nuggets for Esmée, the girls met at the hall of their building a little bit after ten. 

Y/N was wearing boots, shorts and a sleeveless shirt. She had a heavy black coat on top of everything. Her colorful hair wasn’t styled, she had decided to just let it be and she had some light makeup on. Definitely different than the Y/N the department at NYU is used to, but not Esmée. She has seen her friend out several times and that’s her usual club attire. Esmée also had boots on, but had opted for a midi-skirt and a cropped top. A brown coat covered her clothes and her hair was styled with a few pins. She also had light makeup around her eyes, but was wearing red lipstick. 

“Looking good,” Esmée said, pointing at Y/N. 

“Don’t I always?” Y/N said, making Esmée roll her eyes a little. The one in the brown coat already had her phone in hand to get them a car to go to the club. She was also checking in with Seungyoun, trying to figure out where the two men were. 

“The car will be here in five,” she said, giving Y/N a smile. “Ready?” 

“Not really. I had two glasses of wine before coming down,” she gave Esmée a guilty smile, which only made her friend laugh. 

“You’re impossible.” 

The drive from their building to the club was quiet. Esmée was texting Seungyoun and Y/N kept checking her phone for anything, anything really, that would take her mind out of Seungwoo actually being there that night. Getting out of the car, Esmée informed her that the men were waiting for them inside and simply grabbed Y/N by the hand to guide her to the door. 

They left their coats at the entrance and Esmée had her hand around Y/N’s wrist again, dragging her friend to the spot Seungyoun had mentioned they were. Close to the bar, but not really. Closer to the dancefloor than expected. Gangsta by Kehlani was playing and Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes when she finally saw the two men.

Seungyoun was in ripped black jeans, a flowery shirt and messy hair. He had different glasses on and that shirt was doing his shoulder justice. Esmée finally let go of her and rushed to her language nerd, wrapping her arms around him and quickly stealing his drink - just to give back the next second, making a face, complaining about the strong taste. 

Seungwoo was in leather pants. Leather pants. Y/N wanted to die. Whose idea was that, she wanted to ask. It was probably Seungyoun’s, right? She was going to kill him. As if the pants weren’t enough, he also was wearing a sleeveless shirt and boots. His hair was up and she could see his eyes and forehead. A shot on the face would have hurt less. 

“Hey!” he waved, giving her a smile. And then Y/N remembered to breathe. 

“Hi!” she got closer so they could talk. The song was loud and Y/N’s mind was obviously going some very dark places whenever she heard I need a gangsta echoing in the club. 

“I guess I can’t get you a coffee here,” he added, making a face. Which just made Y/N’s heart sink a bit more. “But I can offer you a drink.” 

She laughed, biting on the corner of her lower lip. “I’d love a Cosmopolitan,” she shrugged, looking down at his hand to check out his drink. She was a bit clever than her best friend, always asking before drinking. “What are you drinking?” 

“Oh, Gin,” he shrugged. “Seungyoun ordered for the both of us. I usually drink Margaritas.” 

Y/N leaned her head to the side in confusion for a moment, letting herself laugh and smile at him. “Margaritas? I really didn’t see that coming.” 

“There’s more of what that came from,” he winked, taking her hand. “Come on, let’s get your drink,” he added, pulling her towards the bar. Y/N let herself follow, eyes a bit wide in surprise still. Maybe someone had kidnapped Seungwoo and replaced him with this almost exact copy. 

This couldn’t be the professor that would come to her room with coffee every other day, that went out to lunch dates with her, that smiled shyly and rarely looked her in the eyes. But then again… She wasn’t wearing what she usually wears to work either. And she definitely doesn’t behave the same at a club. 

She could just hope the Cosmopolitan would make everything make sense. 

When they went back to the spot they had met, Esmée and Seungyoun were nowhere to be seen but Y/N had her Cosmopolitan, Seungwoo had another Gin and Tonic and they both were determinate to make this night worth something. A song both didn’t know was playing, but Y/N pointed towards the dance floor anyway and Seungwoo just followed. 

In which part of the year pop music had become so… groovy, they couldn’t really tell. But it just made it horrible to bear when Y/N noticed that Seungwoo knows damn well what to do with his body on the dance floor. The man was moving his hips to the song, having his little moment right in front of her, a smile on his lips as he pushed his hair back and nodded for her to dance too. 

With two glasses of wine and half a Cosmopolitan on her mind, all Y/N could do is move closer and dance with Seungwoo. 

A song went by and then maybe another and a few more… And now there were no space between their bodies. Y/N had finished her drink and now Seungwoo’s neck seemed very inviting, maybe a little too much. And she was so close… One of his hands on her lower back, the other holding his drink, his body pressing against hers…

But then she heard a familiar voice. 

Karma is a bitch. 

“Not this kind of person, uh?” Esmée could be heard over the song that was playing. Y/N reluctantly leaned back, giving her friend the look. 

Esmée was holding what looked like a tequila sunrise - or maybe a sex on the beach? Y/N couldn’t really tell - and her lipstick was gone. Gone to Seungyoun’s neck, collar and cheek to be more exact. At least her friend had the decency of taking it off somewhere else before smudging it all over his mouth probably. 

Seungwoo just gave them a smile, noticing Seungyoun’s hand on Esmée’s. “I’m not… I mean, at least not on Wednesdays?” he tried, making Esmée laugh. The professor just nodded, winking at him and then leaning closer to Y/N. 

“Seungyoun told me you’re the girl problem,” she tried to whisper, but with Esmée a whisper is never a whisper. Then she leaned back, winked again and they both vanished again. 

When Y/N turned around again, she was sure Seungwoo had heard her best friend. 

“So what are you going to do about that?” he made a face, taking his drink to his lips as he watched her, hand still placed on her lower back. 

“It depends. Is it a good girl problem or am I too much to handle?” she raised an eyebrow, free hand moving from his chest to his shoulder as she looked up at him. 

“Both?” he let himself laugh. “You’re too much to handle. But at the same time… You went to all of those Korean restaurants when you can’t even eat pepper…” he pressed his lips together, hiding a knowing smile. 

Y/N was confused, then surprised, maybe a little horrified and then had murder on her eyes. Seungyoun and Esmée were dead. “A student told me,” Seungwoo added. So maybe her best friend could live. 

“Ugh… I feel like an idiot now…” she tried to take a step back, but Seungwoo held her in place. He wanted to tell her that she wasn’t an idiot, that the only reason he proposed the research was to spend time with her and because he, the real idiot here, couldn’t find a way to properly ask her out. 

“All the dates were great though,” he added. A smile on his lips. A bit more drunk than he expected, but who wouldn’t be after four drinks. 

“So we’re finally calling them dates now?” she laughed, also a little drunker than expected. Maybe mixing wine and cosmopolitans wasn’t a good idea. 

A look from him, a smile from her, a pout from him and a laugh from her was all it took. Soon Y/N was tiptoeing a little, Seungwoo leaning down a little and they were met halfway for a kiss.

If only they weren’t holding those stupid drinks was on Y/N’s mind. If only they weren’t in this stupid club was on Seungwoo’s mind. But the kiss was passionate, a bit drunk and definitely an experience for both. Y/N had her free hand on his hair, he might have lowered his a bit more. Both would remember this the next day and regret it a little. 

A kiss turned into two, into three and into something else. When they both leaned back, there was an obvious blissful smile on both their faces. Seungwoo took their empty glasses to the nearest surface available and got them two more, going back to Y/N on the dance floor as fast as possible. 

He was met with the woman he had just kissed, Esmée and Seungyoun again. His best friend had gotten rid of some of the lipstick stains on his neck, but one was still there. He just shrugged when Seungwoo pointed it out, shaking his head at Seungyoun. 

They enjoyed the party until it ended. A few kisses here and there, sometimes a couple would vanish, but they would always find each other again. On the dance floor. Drunkenly dancing to whatever pop song was playing. 

x

The next morning Y/N woke up with a pounding headache, the light coming in from the window and a very tall sleeping body right next to her. She sat up and looked around, pulling the blanket up to cover her own body. She was in her room, that’s for sure, and Seungwoo was sleeping silently right next to her. Their clothes were all over the room - she could see her bra hanging on her bedside lamp - and maybe, just maybe, she felt like she wanted to die. Of embarrassment. 

She sneaked out of her own room, making sure to take the first shirt and shorts she saw with her… Which ended up being her shorts and Seungwoo’s shirt, and then moved to her living room. Y/N had no idea where she had left her phone or even her purse… And she couldn’t just run away from her apartment. How could two professors make a scene like that? Grinding on the dance floor, kissing like two stupid teenagers, going home together, flirting and teasing… She should’ve just asked him out a few months ago when this all started. 

Y/N didn’t really regret kissing Seungwoo or taking him home. She just felt embarrassed for being an idiot this entire time. And he knew she was allergic to pepper! Of all things. With a groan, she left a note on the bedside table, it read: “I went to Es’s to grab us breakfast. She lives on the 15th. Be right back.” It was obviously an excuse, but it had to be made. 

When she reached the fifteenth floor she knocked and knocked and knocked and no one answered. She then rang the bell and still nothing, nada. Maybe she should have checked if Esmée had slept home before going all the way up and leaving a note. Dreading having to face Seungwoo without breakfast in hands, Y/N made a quick run to the bakery right in front of their building and bought them two muffins and some coffee. That’s her pocket money could buy anyway. 

Walking in, she heard the shower running and thank all gods for that. It gave her time to get rid of the bakery bag and plate the muffins and the coffee. She then went on a mission to find her phone - which she did, right when the shower stopped, under her bed. She texted Esmée and quickly went back to the living room, tying her hair up. 

“Hey, have you seen my… Well, there it is,” Seungwoo was looking for his t-shirt, now dressed in nothing but the pants he had been wearing the night before, his hair all wet and covering his eyes as usual. She chuckled at her as Y/N blushed. 

“I went on a breakfast run,” she said, quickly moving to her bedroom. “I just took the first one I found and…” 

Seungwoo cut her off by holding her wrist. “It’s fine. Let’s eat first… If it’s okay with you? I have this major headache.” 

Y/N groaned and quickly moved back to the kitchen, pulling Seungwoo with her. “Me too. I have this one rule that says I should never mix types of drinks but I always break it and always regret it the next day,” she rolled her eyes at herself, sitting on the stool and pointing at the one next one for Seungwoo to sit. She passed him the muffing and the coffee. “I finally got to buy you coffee,” she said, making a face. 

Seungwoo let himself laugh, shaking his head and drinking from his mocha. “I’m sorry if I said anything stupid last night… I promise I’m intelligent when I’m sober,” he added, slicing his muffing in pieces so he could eat it. 

Y/N laughed, shaking his head a little. “Oh, trust me. I’ve said my fair share of stupid too. All will be forgiven if you ask me out on a proper date though. No research involved,” she said, pressing her lips together before moving to face her own coffee and muffin. 

The man next to her gave it some thought, probably trying to figure out where to take her, or maybe trying to think between the headache and the embarrassment from the night before. That’s when Y/N’s phone made a ding, letting her know there was a text. It was a photo from Esmée of a very very sleepy Seungyoun, messy long hair all over the place, and the caption said ‘obviously not home, obviously sleeping’ to answer Y/N’s where are you???? from earlier. 

“We can go to an Arabian restaurant,” he said while she was checking her phone. “I know a very nice place that sells great food. I promise it’s not spicy,” he added, making her blush and roll her eyes. 

“I didn’t plan on trying every single Korean dish you offered me, okay? Just so you know. It was your stupid smile’s fault,” she shoved a piece of muffin in her mouth to keep it shut. 

“Good to know,” he laughed, sipping from his coffee. “So, it’s a date then? Tonight?” 

Y/N gave it some thought and checked her phone again, drank from her coffee and looked up at him. “It’s a date. A real one.” 

“Which one are we going to count as our first date though? This one or the one at Cho Dang Gol?” he raised an eyebrow, a bit confused. 

A little discussion erupted. Y/N wanted to count the one at the Korean restaurant as their first date, Seungwoo thought about counting this one at this other restaurant - an Italian one now - as their first because that’s when he realized he was in love. Then both thought maybe the Arabian place would be better. In the end, they settled for the campus cafeteria because that’s where they first sat down to discuss their research. 

“Are we four months in then?” Y/N said, eyes wide in surprise. 

“Wow. I so have to tell my dad about this,” Seungwoo joked, getting slapped by Y/N as she rolled her eyes. 

He pulled her stool closer and gave her a forehead kiss, to which she smiled and even blushed a little. Maybe letting Seungwoo know about her feelings wasn’t so bad, she would have to think about it again when she has forgotten about everything they did while drunk the night before. 

But one thing she knew for sure: that had been the most stressful, yet best finals week of her career. 

[lhne]

Coronavirus. Covid-19. The Big C (as we refer to it in my home).

     These are worrying times.

     I could write about the political, economic, or the biological, but as I write this, things are constantly changing. My perspective is constantly changing. This virus is currently a ball in motion. A big, scary, overwhelming, stress-inducing ball. 

     I could write about the absurdity of the toilet paper crisis, the looming healthcare crisis, or my frightening current state of unemployment (and probably soon my fiancés). I could write about the rising death count. I could write about my deep concern for our seniors, my friends’ rent payments, and that family in New Jersey who was ravaged by the virus and suffered four deaths in one family in just the last 24 hours.

     I am an artist. I am a mother artist. That is the lens through which I perceive the world. My latest body of work is about the invisible labor of motherhood. I am in my thesis semester of graduate school and time is precious. With 24 hours’ notice I found myself making the transition many parents (especially mothers) across the nation also had to make- you are now a parent teacher. An artist-mother-student-teacher. Pick any two of those four, they would be hard enough to balance. Here I am with a full plate and I wasn’t quite this hungry.

     This is a new role. It takes preparation, and research. Perhaps it’s my personality, but I felt incredibly overwhelmed by this new responsibility. I felt unequipped. Not about the material (which does initiate a few head scratches on my part). Mostly, the concern lies on my ability to navigate my distractible son through a structured school-day around all his toys an unruly toddler who doesn’t let me get a word in edgewise. 

     I’ve seen well-intentioned articles written by homeschooling mothers’ encouraging parents not to panic. They explain that you aren’t a teacher, you are a parent- and not to stress over this new endeavor. They explain how they break up their day with chores, plenty of reading, and hands-on learning. This method works for them.  I see how they are trying to give helpful advice. However, most children that do go to public school every day are adapted to the structure provided there. Personally, I feel it is my responsibility that my son understands this is not a vacation (I’m not saying that homeschooling is), and that he will be back at school as soon as this all clears up. Also, many public-school students have been given a detailed curriculum to follow each day. My son has a four-inch stack of required worksheets, alongside readings and online videos. We are not on our own agenda.  So, while it’s like homeschooling- it’s not homeschooling. It’s social distance learning.

     This isn’t to say I’m going to slip into a teacher persona between the hours of 9 am and 3 pm, but I now must find balances. I need to balance being both teacher and parent.  I need to balance education alongside TV time, play, and free time- something I haven’t had to seriously navigate before. I agree that panicking won’t help, but this is certainly a difficult transition for many parents. There is a video going viral of a mother of four vocalizing her frustrations with the whole situation with distance learning. She describes it as ‘unrealistic’. I only have one who’s in public school so I can only imagine the workload for four. She talks about the difficulty maintaining 4 separate trains of thought, bouncing from one kid to the next, helping each one with their different assignments. All while trying to keep everyone on task and focused. I myself have gotten into the habit of reading through the assignments in the morning before my son wakes. Nothing worse than being in the basement trying to switch a load of laundry and your kid starts yelling for you because he doesn’t understand a question, and you realize you don’t understand it either. However, it shouldn’t be unrealistic. There isn’t any other option than to push through. While I cannot attest to the workload of a mother of four, there is always a way.

     Do your best. If you miss some of the day’s work, that’s ok. If you miss some of the housework, that’s ok. If you’re ordering delivery from the local pizza joint for the third night in a row- that’s ok. We need to validate that this is a difficult transition for many parents, at a time when tensions are already so high. I have only just finished week one of our social distance learning journey. It went better than I expected, which was a relief. In fact, I’ve been enjoying it. I have learned a few tricks of the trade: 1. Getting my son dressed before starting his schoolwork has been a huge help. It is a signal that the day is beginning. 2. Mild bribing is ok (“If you finish all the word work assignments now, I’ll let you watch an extra learning video”) 3. Start with the harder subject first, easier stuff later. 4. A visual planner helps, then nothing is a surprise. I let my son check off each finished activity, which is another novelty because he likes to see everything checked off in the end- he feels accomplished. 5. Didn’t finish all the work today? That’s ok. 6. It was nice out and you mostly played outside? Also ok. Great, actually. 7. Put off the dishes, the laundry if you must. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time in the house to catch up later.     

     While this is a time of crisis, I look for the beauty that lies beneath. The neighbor offering up half of his toilet paper score. The grocery store giving away free bags of food to children that are home without their school lunch. The teenagers taking food shopping lists for the elderly in their neighborhoods. The teachers of young students making daily videos to comfort them in this time of confusion. There is something else happening here. Humanity.

     I’ve been thinking about my artistic work throughout this event. The invisible and emotional labor of parenting (the topic of my latest series) is now becoming visible. Daycares are closing. Fathers are at home. In addition, the labor and pressure of an already demanding job has multiplied as parents take on the role as their children’s educator. How will this experience transform my work? I am unsure. 

     As I mentioned, this crisis hasn’t hit its peak yet, and every day is still changing. While I fear what is on the horizon, I also hold out hope that once this is over, civilization will rise with a new sense of humanity. I hope we can look back and say we made it through this together, and with a new perspective, our hearts will become more full.

Michelle Peterson is an artist and mother and member of the LHNE Collective. She is currently working toward her MFA at the New Hampshire Institute of Art.

We’ll be asking her to report back as she makes progress on her mural.

https://www.mpetersonart.com/

https://www.instagram.com/miche_nicole/

About the LHNE Collective

[loxxxlay]

Official note about Dark Thor Grandthorki fic and Semi-Hiatus

The Situation My Dumb Ambitious Ass Has Landed Itself In

Unfortunately, my big bang date has arrived a lot quicker than I expected it to. >.> On Friday, I’m expected to post the fic I’ve been working on since June. Don’t get me wrong, I have very much been working on it this whole time; unfortunately, I have also been doing quite a lot of exhausting things, including treatment for mental health and college classes. I’m suffocating in the stress of my last semester, which isn’t great for fanfic writing. T_T woe is meeee~

Because of ^, my dark-Thor grandthorki fic (god it needs a title too, huh) is incomplete and, no matter what, will not be completed by Friday (especially considering that all but one of my classes has something due this Friday, too, ugh). Luckily I did sign up for a solo track for big bang so no artist has been ill-used! Unluckily I have robbed some actually prepared & hard-working individual of a very lenient&late posting date. T_T Thus, I want to at least post something on Friday because it would be super inconsiderate and irresponsible of me otherwise, no matter how unprepared I am D:

So, here is what I have decided for my Big Bang/Dark Thor Grandthorki fic:

I am going to post the beginning chunk (about 10-15k words) of the fic! It will be posted as a WIP but as the spirit of the big bang is only to post a completed fic, the part I post will not end on any rudely patience-challenging cliffhanger.  (Those who are still waiting for OoT and Figment of Choice to be complete, I am so so sorry lmfao, and this will not be anything like those cliffhangers.) In fact, I’m trying to make this chunk end on a note that is as complete as possible, while still being a WIP.

As for the quality of this beginning chunk... sigh... It’s definitely not my best writing ever since the only times I could work on it were unfortunately times where my writing skill was rusty and atrophied. >.> However, it’s definitely not my worst writing either lmao, so hopefully it will still be enjoyable! @veliseraptor will be betaing the part most recent and most clunky (I didn’t ask her to beta all of it because that would be super unfair in such a short time frame lmao), and until Friday I will be doing my best to polish the rest!

However! As the entire fic isn’t quite written/outlined, I’m nervous about posting this beginning chunk because of how future writing might require changes to be made. Therefore, the part I post is potentially gonna be subject to extreme changes once I start working on it again months from now. In other words, after I graduate, I’m gonna edit it, possibly change things that happen in it, depending on future scenes, and hopefully do it better justice.

Why am I telling you all of this?

Well, because I don’t want y'all to read this Dark Thor Grandthorki fic with high expectations! T____T I know a lot of you have been super excited and eager to read it after all the excerpts I’ve shown you and all the meta I’ve posted about it. I remember receiving a ton of asks about it back in the pique of me working on it. And.. like.. I know I say this a lot, but I genuinely mean it this time: This is not going to be my usual expected brand of (allegedly) good fic. This is gonna be at least a little disappointing. This is not to criticize myself. It’s just a fact based on how I’ve been writing it and how little I can edit it right now.

And I’m honestly super sad because this project has been so so so important and fun for me that I don’t want you to go in without knowing that it won’t be as good as I want it to be.

In fact, my biggest reason for telling you all this is to give everyone an OPTION to actually NOT read it on Friday. If you want to see it in its final form and its final form only, you can instead wait until I’ve actually had a chance to complete the entire fic, edit what needs editing, get it beta-ed, and feel prepared enough to stick to a regular posting schedule. Obviously I don’t care one way or another when you choose to read it--have at it if you don’t care about it being sub-par! ^_^ I just want you all to know where I’m coming from and be able to decide one way or another. So yeah. Feel free to decide whether you want to read the shittier version on Friday or whether you wanna save yourself for the less shitty version later!

Semi-Hiatus Info:

Initial Note: I’m not really going on any kind of hiatus. I’m changing nothing about what I’m doing recently. I’m just... officially acknowledging that I’ve got one foot in fandom right now and one foot out. And that it will continue to be like this until I graduate in December.

And sighhh, I know I say “ohhhh I will be so much more free and able to work on fandom stuff when this date arrives” again and again and again and nothing ever changes lmfao. But when I say I’ll be more free to work on stuff after December, I actually mean it lmfao because that is when I’ll be graduated from college. I’ve never been graduated from college my entire time in fandom, so you can trust that I’m not kidding around this time.

So yeah, in light of my recent silences/etc, please don’t think I’m disappearing. T_T I’m just really stressed and ... even though I try to lie to myself about it ... realistically ... it’s just not possible for me to do all the fandom stuff that I want to be doing right now. :( Especially as this final semester starts ramping up and finals week starts approaching. :/

Obviously, I’ll still be busy after I graduate. I’ll be looking for full-time work and be starting the process of moving out (I’m super excited!) But the mental energy I’ll need for writing won’t be used up by essays and papers and original creative writing classes! (Assuming I get a seat-warming job, crosses fingers lol.) So basically I’m just letting you all know that, despite my behavior, I haven’t forgotten anything! I just really don’t have time (yet).

For sake of knowing when you can expect things, here’s a list of the things I want to work on (starting December) in order of importance:

(honestly this is as much for my reference as yours lmao)

Commenting and reblogging this year’s Grandthorki Day fics! Very top priority, and if I get a free two seconds in my life, I’ll try to do some of this before semester ends too

Putting Grandthorki Rimworld streams into shorter view-able highlights instead of the full-streaming chunks that they currently are in (especially that 3-hour unwatchable one)

Finishing OoT

Commenting on the rest of the grandthorki fics that have been neglected in recent months

Finishing Moment of Peace

Finishing Figment of Choice

Completing the Big Bang/Dark Thor Grandthorki Fic

Going through my drafts to answer all the asks and recommend all the fic I’ve put there

Finishing that Whumptober Collection and/or Re-Doing Whumptober (because lets be real by the time all of this is done, it will probably be October haha)

Updating Happily Ever After

If I’m forgetting anything that you guys really have been wanting me to do, please let me know!

[the-dan-sargent]

Moffle Phillips is a Normal Human: Part II

by Dan Sargent

This semester I took a creative writing class, and began writing a story about one of my characters, Moffle the Alien, for the final assignment. I wanted to share it, so I decided to drop it on here! Hope you enjoy, and feedback is highly appreciated!!

Click here to read Part I (in which Moffle nearly destroys his chances of being able to attend human school)!

Part II under the cut!

“It was a sunny morning in early June. I awoke to my alarm clock ringing, and quickly reached out to stop it as I opened my eyes. While coming out of my groggy state, a sense of excitement washed over me as I realized that it was my first day of space camp! My entire life I’d wanted to be an astronaut and explore the universe, and I had been begging my parents to let me go to space camp. It was my dream.

Another thing I was extremely excited for was getting the chance to meet other kids my age for the first time! My life was a pretty lonely life to live, but I managed. Being by myself all the time gave me lots of free time to find myself. And in that time I discovered two things: that I love outer space and that I really want to get some friends. And now I was going to be attending space camp! Where I would meet a whole bunch of other kids who liked space, just like me! It was going to be perfect!

I turned over in my bed to stare at my wall. It was plastered with posters I’ve collected over the years. There were posters of the moon, of the solar system, and of stars and galaxies. Among my favorites were the music and film posters. My gaze landed on a poster featuring cover art from my favorite album, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. I felt a smile spread across my face as I jumped out of bed to turn on my stereo, popping my CD of the album out of its case and into the device. From there I skipped ahead until I landed on my favorite song, “Starman”. I let the song play as I strutted over to my closet.

Something about Ziggy Stardust had always resonated with me. But I guess it would make complete sense for me to resonate with someone who took on the form of an androgynous alien from outer space. For you see, I myself was also an androgynous alien and my ancestors were definitely not from planet earth. There was nothing human about me, and I was okay with that. Compared to others I was strange, but I didn’t care. Sure I was different, but it was an easy enough thing to hide. As soon as I learned to control my form, my mother made sure I knew to hide my true form and present as a human whenever I was around other people. In her words, it would be “very dangerous--or at the very least, extremely awkward” if anyone saw me in my alien form, so I knew to hide. Presenting myself as a human was second-nature to me by that point in my life. But as I said before, none of this ever bothered me because it was just a normal aspect of my life. Sure, I was essentially hiding a huge secret from the world as well as rejecting a huge part of myself, but really it was better off that way.

I made my way to my floor mirror, with a shirt in each of my olive-green toned, three-fingered hands. I looked at my reflection for a moment. My skin clashed with the bright orange t-shirt I was wearing, and my honey-yellow eyes glowed in the mirror as they scanned my appearance. My long (some might say cat-like) tail swayed back and forth in my excitement, and the deep green hair on the top of my head was matted together in a very apparent bedhead. Woven into the strands of hair were my ears, both of which were half a foot long and typically drooped down to my shoulders. I chuckled a bit as I gazed up at the beautiful mess of hair atop my skull, then closed my eyes as I changed into my human form.

My tail shrank away, as did my long ears as they became human-like in shape. My skin went from green to a more human-appropriate warm tone. My fingers split from three to five. My hair fell over my eyes as it straightened itself out and turned a dark, muted brown. When I opened my eyes back up, they were a very normal white color with dark green irises around the pupils. Looking back at myself, I looked like just a normal human kid stood in their heavily space-themed bedroom. With a huge smile across my face, I lifted up one of the two shirts in my hand. It was a navy blue tank shirt with stars plastered on every inch of it. Deeming it the perfect thing to wear, I paired it with a pair of black knee-length shorts, white socks, and dark blue high-top shoes. Soon after putting my outfit on, I checked my appearance before turning off my stereo and making my way out of the room.

Similar to my first day of high school, everything about space camp felt like a dream. The space camp building was on the same site as a space base. Everything I walked by filled me with amazement, and I smiled to myself as I realized that I was walking in the footsteps of some of the greatest space explorers of humankind. I was touring the main space camp building with all of the new campers, and we were being led around by two camp counselors. First we were brought to the dining hall and the residence hall, two areas that weren’t very exciting but were definitely important. Then we were brought to the fun places, starting with the simulation room. This space was enormous and was filled with endless interesting contraptions, from rooms for practice missions to antigravity emulators, among other things. Then we were led to the theater, and later to the research room.

It had hit dusk by the time we had made it to our last stop on the tour, which was the observatory. Upon walking in, I had never been more awestruck by anything else in my life. The cylindrical room was topped off with a dome-shaped ceiling, and there was an opening in it that provided a clear view of the dimming sky. The walls of the room were lined with desks and bookshelves loaded with computers, scale models, knick-knacks, tools, and a massive collection of space-related books. The room’s main feature, stood on a tall platform base, was the huge astronomical telescope placed directly in the center of the space. After scanning the room in utter disbelief and amazement, I had concluded that this very room would be my favorite part of space camp.

From that day on, I would hang out in the observatory whenever I got the chance, looking at the cosmos and everything found within them through the telescope. I felt like the secrets of the universe were at my fingertips whenever I looked through its lens. I could see stars and galaxies I had never seen before. I could see planets I could only dream of seeing with my naked eye. Looking through the telescope, I sometimes found myself wondering if my home planet was one of them.

One night, I had decided to hang around in the observatory before bed instead of going to my dorm room. After eating my dinner, I had gotten my belongings together and prepared to fly over. I swung my bag over my shoulders and cradled a pillow in my arms, prepared to spend the night if I so desired. I then went invisible and snuck my way into the observatory without a hitch. From there, I placed all of my things in a hidden area of the room and got comfy. I pulled out one of my favorite astrology books and rushed over to the telescope. I had planned on studying different types of stars on this night, and went about comparing every star I looked at to every other star. This went on for hours, and when I began to feel an overwhelming sense of exhaustion I decided it was time to hit the hay. Sleepily, I trudged over to my hidden spot and immediately drifted off, with my astrology book still in my arms.

Suddenly, I was awoken by a loud exclamation. The shock that rushed through my body caused me to instantly vanish from sight, and I darted up in the air to see what was going on. A brief glance toward the opening in the ceiling told me that it was early morning. To my horror, I had discovered that I left the telescope in a state of mild disarray, and an astronomer who had just walked in was running up to it. I panicked, realizing that if I was found out, there was a fair chance I could get in a whole heap of trouble. I knew I had to stay out of sight. Fortunately, my invisibility powers made that easy for me. Rather unfortunate, however, was the fact that all of my things were still sprawled out around me, and I wouldn’t be able to pick them up without making noise. Looking down at everything, I knew I had to find some way to get it all out of the room without getting caught. I looked back up towards the rest of the room, and nearly screamed in fear when my eyes immediately met those of the astronomer. His face was mere inches away from mine.

He couldn’t see me, right? I hovered backwards, slowly, looking down at myself as I did so. I was completely invisible. Obviously, there was no way he saw me. He had clearly been looking at my things and not at me. Instant relief fell over me. But now that my spot had been exposed, I knew that leaving with my stuff would be near impossible unless I caused some sort of distraction first. So, fighting against the urge to have a complete panic attack and shut down, I flew over to the other side of the room and pushed a few heavy books off of a desk. This seemed to do the trick, and the astronomer quickly turned his head and approached the source of the sound. Straight away, I made my way back over to my possessions and gathered them up. Every item I picked up turned invisible with me. Once I was fairly certain I had collected everything, I rose back up in the air and stole a swift glance at the astronomer, who was puzzlingly making his way back over. Struck by fear and wondering whether he saw my things vanishing as I picked them up, I rushed out the door and didn’t look back until I was safely back in my dorm room. To my relief, no one had ever come to me asking about what happened that day. I had luckily made it out, completely in the clear.

From that day on, I never stayed overnight in that observatory ever again. I had also learned that I needed to be extra careful to stay far away from humans whenever I was using my invisibility powers. That accident had shown me that one mistake on my end could lead to my alien form being exposed. And once my alien form was exposed, I would never, ever be able to blend in with other humans.”

To be continued in Part III!

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[butwhyduh]

Ain’t No Sunshine

Tom Holland x reader

Warning: language, hints at smut

Summary: Tom remembers last summer. This is set is the 1950-ish. Tom’s family in no way behaves as they do in real life. It’s actually based on an ex boyfriend’s family. It is inspired by a romantic movie that I changed I think for the better. I won’t spoil the story by saying what it is. You don’t have to watch it to read the story. For @the-claire-bitch-project challenge.

Salty sea air was brisk as Tom collected firewood in the dying light of the spring day. Warm enough to enjoy outside but cool enough to need a jumper in the evening. He couldn’t help but think about last summer. How he had spent it with you. At his special beach.

Tom thought about the last day of summer. The last really perfect day. The two of you played on the beach. Tom grabbed you around the waist and you both went down in the sand. She shrieked like I was going to eat her, he smiled ruefully. Tom lit the wood and sat down. It was properly cool now. The soft crackling of fire blended with the crash of the tide and it lulled him into memory.

Tom remembered the first time he met you. You were wearing a sundress and sandals. You had a floppy sun hat that the wind of the beach knocked off. Tom grabbed it for you. You grinned at him, noting his freckled nose and sweet smile. You had offered to buy him an ice cream to thank him. The two of you sat under a red and white stripped umbrella, at a picnic table, the beach a stone throw away.

It was your first day of summer break. You were staying at your cousin’s house between semesters at uni. Tom was local. He worked for a carpenter. Tom walked with you on the beach. You kicked your shoes off and picked up shells. The bottom of your dress was soaked by the time you got back to your cousin’s house. She had her own story about a lovely lad she met too.

You had met up with Tom 2 days later. He had just gotten off of work. He smelled of saw dust and sweat. His damp white shirt stuck to his body. It didn’t matter because he stripped it off to jump in the water. The spot was Tom’s. He had found a tiny cove surrounded by trees as a young teen. A cliff sat snug near and on top an entire colony of birds had taken roost in the bleached trees. It was a wild place.

Tom didn’t bring anyone there. Not even his best mates knew if it. But you were different. You were his first love. Tom turned around as you pulled off your dress and jumped in the water in your undergarments. You tapped his shoulder and he turned and laughed. He could see how beautiful you were. Your hair a mess and not a stitch of makeup to be seen.

He couldn’t help but notice the way your smile lit up, the way your laughter was louder and more free, and the way your bra clung to your breasts in the cool water. He could also see the way you watched him too. The way your eyes lingered on his lips and even dipped to look at his chest when you thought he wasn’t looking. You thought the world of him. He was kind and beautiful.

——————-

Tom stirred the fire. The sun had officially set and the twilight of the day was fading. He had all but given up. You hadn’t written since October and you weren’t coming today. Should he pack up and leave? No, he thought. I’ll stay all night. Just in case. You had a pull on him that he couldn’t control.

Like the way you pulled him off the pier and into the water. Your cousin swam deeper out in the water with the boy now officially her boyfriend. You floated lazily near the shore. Your head rest on a float. Tom saw you first. He couldn’t help but admire you as he walked closer. Tom slid his shoes off as he walked on the pier.

“Hello, love,” he said smiling. You pulled your sun glasses down to look at him.

“Join me,” you said swimming close.

“I’m still in my work clothes,” Tom said. “I’ll watch.”

“No, no. Join me,” you ordered grinning. Tom shook his head. “Please,” you begged.

“Love,” Tom pleaded back. You reached your hands up and he grasped you to pull you from the water. Instead you yanked him in. Tom gasped and looked at his drenched clothing before laughing. He splashed you before pulling his shirt off. You played in the water until both of your skin burned from the sun.

Your aunt invited him and your cousin’s boyfriend over for dinner. Her breezy dinning room smelled delicious of pie as you ate a cold meal of chicken salad with cut vegetables. It was cooling after your hot day out. You must have drank 10 glasses of water with the meal.

Your aunt politely asked about each of your date. It turned out that they were friends from school. It wasn’t super surprising, being a small town an all. Harrison talked about his plans. His father owned a boat and he was working on it during the season and would work at the tackle and fish shop off season. Your aunt hummed in approval before turning to Tom to ask the same question.

“I er, don’t have a family boat,” he said awkwardly laughing. “I just work for a carpenter. Not posh, ay?”

“It’s fine. Your family?” She asked. You frowned at her probing questions. He clearly wasn’t from a well off family like Harrison.

“I haven’t really talked to them in years. I guess they’re fine,” he said rubbing his neck. Your aunt’s eyebrows about rose to her forehead before she hid the expression.

“I know where we can go for sunset,” Harrison said. He wanted to change the subject. You places your hand on Tom’s knee and rubbed softly. “Nice little hill.”

—————-

That wasn’t the first or last time I wasn’t good enough, Tom thought bitterly. He laid his blanket beside the fire and added another log. It really was night now. There was no way you would come down now.

Maybe I should move on, he thought. Maybe it was all just a summer fling and you had moved on. You had your studies and maybe a rich city boyfriend. You had just stopped writing in October. The letters had slowed down before stopping completely. The pages back in his room were weathered and wrinkled. Tom had read them an embarrassing amount of times.

But the way your lip curled when you thought you were going to surprise Tom called him back. The scent of your neck when you laid in his arms. Your hand in his when you walked. You walked with Tom just about every evening.

“...Then she said that- that she was going to fix it herself,” you laughed. Your hand swung entwined with Tom’s as you told a story. You were so animated as you talked.

“I could have popped over myself,” he said.

“I told her but she was so... adamant,” you giggled. “She’ll learn. Or she’ll have a crooked shelf.”

You looked around. You were back at Tom’s beach. Your walks always came here at one point or another. You would kiss for a while before going home. Tom pulled you close. His fingers on your side at a respectful place. He kissed you. His scent of wood and salt surrounded you in the dying light of the day.

Usually you pulled away after a few minutes. But you didn’t that day. Maybe it was young love, the beautiful day, or the end of summer nearing. That day you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Tom moaned against your mouth as you threaded your fingers in his hair. He wanted to do more but he would never push it.

His tongue slid from your mouth and he kissed the corner of your mouth and down to your neck. Tom cradled your waist as you leaned back to give him better access as he kissed down to your collar bone. His fingers gently pressing into your back as his thumbs rubbed the corners of your lower ribs. After a minute Tom broke the kiss.

“What do you want,” He whispered. His thumbs continued their calming movement. His lips were swollen and cheeks pink. “I need to know.”

“I want you. All of you,” you whispered back. Tom groaned before kissing your lips. He pulled away before taking your hand. He walked you both up the beach to the grass where he had a blanket that he laid down. “Were you prepared?”

“For a picnic I had planned,” he said. “Not this.”

You sat on the blanket suddenly seeming nervous. Tom sat beside you. He moved cautiously, not wanting to scare you. He leaned over to kiss you. He gently held your cheek. Tom broke the kiss.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Tom said before gently leaning you back on the blanket. Your heart pounded and you were nervous but not because of him. He gently bent over you to kiss. His other touches were gentle too as you both laid together. It was cliche but that’s when Tom knew he was in love with you.

The first time he said it was after you begged him to meet his family. You had imagined Tom to be poor. He lived modestly and didn’t have much. But meeting his family was shocking.

Tom had finally given in and had picked you up for Sunday supper. He wore a nice button down with his jeans. He even had his normally curly hair greased down neatly. Your simple sundress almost seemed too plain but he swore it was perfect. His old beat up truck stood out in front of the tidy house where he parked.

A proper two story brick with a lovely garden sat in front of you. You looked at him in confusion. Tom smiled nervously.

“Not what you thought?”

“Well... you’re family is rather rich, Tom,” you admitted nervously. He chuckled slightly.

“They are. I’m not. I’m... kind of the black sheep of the family. Just warning you,” he said nervously. You grasped his hand before getting out.

Tom opened the gate of a white picket fence. Purple wisteria vines spilled over the fense top surrounding neat manicured yard. Next to the generously wide steps was snuggled 2 peach rose bushes still in full summer bloom. The fragrance of the yard was heavenly as you stepped on a handsome red brick walkway to the door. This was miles away from your aunt’s simple cottage with rough scrub brush and sand yard.

Tom gripped your hand and you could feel that he was nervously sweating a little. You started to feel bad. Was it really this bad? Maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to introduce you to his family. Tom cleared his throat and knocked.

A teenage boy who looked a lot like Tom answered the door. “Tom!” He cried and gave Tom a giant hug. Tom laughed and hugged him back. “It’s been too long.”

“I know, Pad. This is Y/n and this is my brother Paddy,” Tom said. You held out your hand to shake and Paddy high fived instead.

“That’s why you’ve been gone,” Paddy said as you walked in the foyer. “You went off and got a girlfriend.”

“Uh kinda,” Tom said awkwardly. He stiffened as he looked behind Paddy. A woman who could only be seen as his mother stood just as stiffly. The room was noticeably icy. She smiled and it didn’t reach her eyes but she pulled Tom into a hug and he stiffly complied.

“Hello,” she said.

“Mum, this is Y/n. Y/n this is Mum,” Tom said. She looked at you critically. Her eyes took in everything from your simple dress to your worn sandals.

“Hello,” you said nervously holding out your hand.

“I’m Nikki,” she responded. “Please come in. Harry and Sam are in the garden.”

You walked through a formal dining room that was fully set with spring seasonal tablewareand a set of glass double door framed with billowing white curtains into the backyard. Two more young men played a game of washers. They looked a lot like Tom as well. A man around Nikki’s age that looked a bit like Tom who must be their father manned a grill.

“Tom!” One brother said.

“He lives!” Said the other brother. Tom laughed a little. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, this is Y/n. This is my brothers Harry and Sam. And my dad Dom,” Tom said quickly.

“I think supper will be ready soon,” Dom called cheerily from the grill. He seemed oblivious to the tension in the air. You and Tom sat at a wrought iron table in chairs with delicate patterned cushions.

Nikki sat down beside you both. She smiled softly as Paddy won the round of washers. The other two young men complained of cheating. “So where are you from?”

“I’m from the city but I am staying all summer with my aunt,” you answered. “You have a lovely garden.” And indeed it was with various flowers and bushes growing and blooming in the corners of the yard.

“Thank you. And who is your aunt?” She asked. You said her name and Nikki’s look turned from interest to disdain. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“Supper is done,” Dom said proudly. He carried a tray of food to the kitchen when Nikki followed. You followed the boys into the dinning room after Nikki refused your offer to help. You sat nervously before her and Dom brought in the food. Plates of sausage and chicken and bowls of salad and roast vegetables were sat on the table.

The meal began uneventfully as everyone ate. But it soon dissolved. “So Tom, when are you planning to go back to university?” Dom asked. Tom choked on his water.

“I’m apprenticing to get my carpentry certificate,” Tom answered and you could tell that it wasn’t the first time he was asked this. You even see Sam grimace.

“You could be a lawyer,” Nikki said. “You’re plenty young and you haven’t wasted too long. Your uncle could talk to-“

“No, Mum. I don’t want-“

“Right, because slumming is more your style. No offense but when this summer love spell is over I will be glad and you can finally get a worthy career.”

“My golf buddy knows people at university. I can talk to him. It’s a little late in the year to apply but I’m sure he can make an exception if I speak to him soon,” Dom said as if this was an easy fix. Tom sighed. Paddy tapped his fork on his plate in the silence.

“Dad, I’m not going to university. Ever,” Tom said trying to be controlled. It sounded like he finally said something he had been skirting around this whole time. This evening was not going well. Harry covered a nervous laugh with a cough.

“Oh and how do you plan to take your lovely date out? What about when you find a nice girl and finally settle down?” Nikki said pointedly ignoring you at this point. “Will you be poor?” She said as if it was ludicrous. You felt flushed and angry but had no idea on what to possibly say.

“My nice girl is sitting right here but don’t worry about that because we are leaving. I’m so sorry, love,” Tom said to you standing. You stood and followed. Normally you would thank your host but you had just been thoroughly insulted. Tom was furious. His face was red and his shoulders clenched as he walked to the truck. “I’m so sorry and I understand if you don’t want to go out anymore. I shouldn’t have brought-“

“It’s okay,” you said softly. “I’m not going anywhere. Your family is insane but you can’t control them. I’m proud of you.”

“I love you,” Tom said suddenly. You flushed at his words.

“You..love me?” You asked. You had never heard anyone tell you that romantically.

“I do. You should have ran away after that but you didn’t,” Tom said.

“Probably a bad idea. What am I thinking?” You joked.

“Who knows. Clearly I’m the smart one because I found a catch and I’m not letting her go,” Tom said as he drove back to your aunt’s house.

“Not even at the end of summer?” You asked.

“Definitely not. Forever,” Tom said threading his fingers in yours. A few minutes later he pulled into your aunt’s driveway. He leaned over and kissed you slowly. It was a kiss to say that he loved you. His fingers brushed your cheek before sliding his tongue in your mouth. The sound of the sceeen door slamming broke your kiss as your cousin walked out. She grinned at you both before walking down the street, most certainly to meet a certain gentleman.

—————————

Tom laid on the blanket he had brought. His eyes were glazed as he stared into the fire. The dying embers felt like his heart as the night grew late. It wasn’t long until he fell asleep alone on the beach.

He woke up to the sound of sea gulls and the light of an early morning sun piercing even through his closed eyes. Tom sat up and stretched his neck. Had he really slept there all night? You were truly gone. He had been in denial all night but now it was real. He started rolling up his blanket and tossed sand on the already cold ash.

He heard a sound. The wind covered most of it. He looked around to see nothing. Tom heard it again and saw you running. The sand dipping ridiculously into your sandals, your bag flapped wildly.

“Tom! Thomas!” You yelled and Tom stood confused. He couldn’t believe you were real. “Tom,” you yelped one last time before running straight into his arms. He held you stiffly. You pulled away to grasp his face. You would have kissed him if not for the look he gave you.

“Why?” Tom said looking. You looked surprised.

“Sam told me. I saw him at university. I didn’t know. I thought you stopped talking to me,” you said. “I didn’t know that you wanted to meet. I took the first train. I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t get my letters?”

“No. You stopped writing and so I thought you didn’t want to talk to me any more. Then he said you were waiting for me,” you said. Tom pushed your hair from your face in the wind. He bent over and kissed you. The kiss that he waited almost a year to do. Something he thought he’d never do again.

“How did you not get my letters?” Tom asked. You shook your head in confusion. “I think I know. Come on.”

He pulled you with him to his truck. He quickly started driving back into town. He drove to his parents house.

“Mum! Mother!” He called and she quickly came from her sitting room with the newspaper still in hand.

“What son?” She asked confused.

“Did you stop my post?”

“What ever are you talking about?” She said frowning. She sat the paper on an end table.

“I wrote 3 letters to Y/n that were never delivered. Did you stop them from being sent,” Tom asked. You stood there awkwardly. Your fingers were clasped with Tom’s. He hadn’t let go since you returned.

“I would never stop your postage, Thomas. That is illegal,” she snapped, highly insulted. “I don’t like you, yes,” she said to you. “But I wouldn’t purposely do that. Thomas can make his own mistakes.”

“Stop acting like she’s a mistake. She’s the best woman in town,” Tom said. You both walked out of the house. He walked back to his truck and drove to the post office.

“My letters weren’t delivered. I want to know why,” Tom said. The postman knew everyone in town. He gave Tom a look before looking your way.

“Is he bothering you, Miss?”

“What? No,” you said confused.

“Well your aunt warned me of him. Said he were stalking you and to not deliver letters to or from him and you,” the man admitted.

“He’s never stalked me. She just didn’t want me to get his letters,” you said angry. It was your turn to grab his hand and pull him up the truck. He drove without saying anything but was occasionally looking over at you. You sat with your hands in fists with your jaw clenched. You almost looked like you wanted to fist fight your aunt.

When he pulled in the drive you almost leapt from the truck before it even stopped. Tom tried to hurry to follow you. You rushed in the house to see your aunt making tea for herself. She smiled and went to welcome you when Tom followed you.

“Why?” You asked. You felt like crying but held it back.

“What?” She tried to play innocent.

“You told the post office Tom was stalking me. Why would you do that?” You said. Your voice felt raw and your eyes watered. She calmly put down the tea kettle and sighed. You wanted her to be angry. Why was she so stupidly calm?

“I did it for you. To protect you,” she started.

“From what? Being with Tom?” You spat back. Tom was mad but this was a family matter.

“You should know about his family. They are snakes, the lot of them,” she said. She looked at Tom nastily. He glared back. “I dated his dear uncle years ago and he moved to go to uni and said he would write and did until he found a new girl and I was forgotten.”

“And that makes the family bad?” You said.

“When I tried to contact him through his family they said he was busy with school when they knew he was dating someone else from university,” she said as if that makes sense.

“You’re just bitter. Tom was waiting for me and stayed out all night waiting for me and I didn’t show. He thought I didn’t want to talk so he stopped writing,” you said emotionally before calming. “I won’t be visiting this summer.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Where are you going?” She called as you pulled Tom out the door. You made it to the car before you burst into tears. Tom rubbed your back.

“Where do you want to go, darling?” He said gently.

“To your house. Please,” you said and he drove quietly. Tom didn’t know what to say. He was used to being the black sheep. His family was regularly treating him poorly. To find out suddenly was all new to him.

He opened the screen door to his modest home. You walked in and hugged him. Your smell that he missed for all those months was there.

———————-

It took a few months for you to speak to your cousin who swore she never knew about it and a few years to talk to your aunt and things were never good. Tom was always the black sheep of his family. He never inherited a thing from his parents. They refused unless he went to university like they wanted. You finished school and moved back with Tom the next summer to work as a nurse. He opened his own carpentry shop a few years later. You were never rich but were very happy.

[chrisbbaegopayo]

Hold Your Breath (Stray Kids: Stalker AU) ➻ Chapter 3 (part 2)

....

Genre: Thriller, Angst, Gore, Mystery, Suspense Characters: All of Stray Kids, reader, OCs. Word Count: 2.1k Warning: This story will contain elements of gore, on- and off-screen abuse, torture, mental illness, and stalking. It will feature themes that are not suitable for all ages, readers' discretion is advised. Each chapter will have its own specific warning.

My life got the better of me. More on that at the bottom.

Chapters: Premise | 01 Prologue | 02 Chapter one | 03 Chapter two | Chapter three (part 1) | Chapter three (part 2)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She desperately wanted to tell him about the letter, and as a result of the internal debate, she brought it up with Jisung. The earlier established relaxed air was out like a candle, as a more serious tone slowly sunk in. Jisung didn’t say anything for a long time, which left her feeling rather uncomfortable—she wasn’t sure whether he had been angry at her or angry in general at the progress of things.

Fortunately, Jisung saved her the trouble by speaking up, asking her whether she had actually submitted the concern request, or complaint, as she sheepishly replied with a shake of her head. Although Jisung had told her before to go through with filing the complaint, she didn’t actually have a lot of time, being the first week of the school semester and all. She did tell him that she would go through with it the next day—she only had one class the next day, which meant she could easily hop on to the administration offices to file the complaint.

Jisung seemed pretty content with that but had her tell him what went on so that he could stop worrying. And she was inclined to do so, as she really felt like her entire stalker ordeal had made Jisung grow grey hairs or something.

Jisung left after a while, and even though she suggested that she should at least walk him out to where the gate was, he told her that he would be fine, and would text her when he had made it home. She nodded and watched him disappear into the sunset through her window while waving absentmindedly in his direction.

But what caught her eye was the little glimmer—she didn’t know what it was, but it was unsettling, and so she closed off her curtain swiftly, opting to look out to the open through a crack through her blinds.

What was that?

Although she felt unsettled by whatever it was out there, her mind raced and thought of Jisung, who was out there, alone. She quickly sent a text to him, asking him to be careful, and he replied back with, “you’re telling me?”

In the next few seconds, another incoming text from Jisung showed up, which read, “ok, I will be careful.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, before sending an outgoing text to him, saying, “remember to text me when you get home!!” And was given a brief response of, “got it.”

Perhaps that eased her heart a little bit. But then again, something Jisung said made her question herself—why would she be telling him about that when she was the one being bombarded with gifts? Surely, the creepy stalker wouldn’t threaten her friends and family, would they…?

She shook her head. The uneasiness that resulted from that inconclusive deduction made her feel as though she should be on her guard, especially with her friends, but…she really needed to stop watching horror and mystery films. It was going to give her a bad case of overthinking and insomnia if she kept on going with thining too much.

She opted for some quiet studying time, and after an hour or two of productive reading, she turned off her lights and headed to bed.

Sometime in the night, the glimmer went away, presumably packed away…

>>>>>

She did end up filing the complaint after her class of the day. It didn’t take her long to make it to the administration’s office, despite being on the other side of the campus. The lady at the counter gave her a strange look, although not entirely skeptical, but more of a worried glance than anything.

She seemed content about her situation, as she handed the slip of paper off to the desk lady, who told her that the complaint would find its way to the security office. She thanked the lady, and walked off, feeling proud of herself.

Finally.

However, when the security officer got in late afternoon, the mountains of papers and previous complaints and piled up so tremendously that her complaint simply got lost in the pile. It was as though the report had never been filed in the first place, and as it got caught with some useless papers on the desk, it was tossed into the shredder without a second thought.

And with that, yn’s attempt to save herself was thwarted by the actions of a careless and overworked security officer.

The day after, she had gotten ready to attend her criminology tutorial, she met Hyunjin standing outside the classroom. She greeted him with a small wave and was given one in return as they briefly exchanged pleasantries before the doors of the class opened, revealing the teaching assistant standing by the doorframe.

She, along with Hyunjin and a bunch of other students waiting outside quickly made their way into the class, where they all found themselves a seat and settled down. She ended up sitting next to Hyunjin, who then looked over at her, and smiled.

“He seems like a pretty friendly guy,” the raven-haired boy whispered, and she giggled in return.

“I hope so,” she whispered back.

Seemed like the teaching assistant had caught a glimpse of their exchange, and smiled confidently at the small group of student.

“Seems like some of you know each other…” He began, although his smile had been upgraded into a small chuckle.

What caught them off guard was the fact that a guy who looked like he was merely in his mid-twenties had the voice of a guy who was in his…40s? Maybe Hyunjin’s initial assumptions of the guy weren’t accurate after all. But the teaching assistant seemed pretty laid back in the way he talked, so…

“I’ll introduce myself first—I’m Felix Lee,” the teaching assistant said. “And I will be your TA for the criminology course tutorial. I have a master’s degree on the subject, and working towards getting my Ph.D., which centers around the psychology of victimhood in criminology.”

He paused, and then started off again, saying, “I know it may be a mouthful, but I assure you that it will get easier once you get into it. My field is the act of victimization of the victim in a crime.”

He received collective “oh” from the class.

Felix laughed and got on with the class. He discussed the material that was covered during the lecture and did an in-depth analysis for those who were still unsure of what was going on. Of course, people still had some issues with certain terminologies, but Felix was able to comb through the confusion with some everyday examples, bringing the class to the same page.

“Don’t forget to review materials beforehand so you’ll be prepared with the questions that you may have regarding the topic of the week,” Felix told them. "If that’s all for today, then you’re free to go—don’t forget that you’re all free to send me an email should you have any problems!"

There was a collective “ok” before they all shuffled their way out the door.

Hyunjin looked back at her, as she grabbed her bag and made her way to the exit. “You have any more classes after this?”

She shook her head. “You?”

He shrugged. “I have a three-hour break before my next tutorial.”

“Oh, that’s cool—what is it for?”

He thought about it, and then responded with, “I think some liberal arts course.”

She laughed. “You don’t know?”

He shrugged again. “It was an elective, they chose it for me, I think. I just got shoved in some random class that was required for my program. The other courses that you must take in order to graduate? I still need some liberal arts credit this year.”

She nodded. “Right, right. I think I have to do that for next year, it’s kind of bad for me to have to push everything to the last minute, huh.”

Hyunjin laughed. “Hopefully not all the time…”

She shook her hands. “No, I’m usually not like this…I’ve been mostly on top of things, although course selection doesn’t always work in your favour, and there is some overlap which causes some problem.”

Hyunjin nodded. “Yeah, I had a problem like that last year, which is why I was saddled with this liberal arts course this year—anyway, do you want to visit the small cafe that just opened near campus?”

She looked excited at the idea. “Yes! That sounds like a good idea!”

The pair made their way to the newly opened cafe, and spread their course material on top of the little table they were sitting at and studied together for a little bit until the conversation veered mostly off course. After talking about courses, they talked about ambitions, future jobs, as well as hobbies.

The conversation lasted a whole two hours—it didn’t really feel all too long. She found out through the exchange more about his parents, his background. When it came to his hobbies, he didn’t elaborate very much, just that he enjoyed reading sometimes, movies, and certainly other everyday hobbies that people tend to have.

What confused her, though, was the fact that he never really branched further regarding those details, merely just ‘I like this,’ or ‘I like that,’ and it threw her a little off. Perhaps he didn’t feel too comfortable sharing so much with her, but then again, it wasn’t really her place to say anything or comment. Instead, she talked about her own hobbies, entertainment preferences, and he listened, rather content with just listening to her talk.

After she went home for the day, and hopped on her couch, intending to relax, she received a text message. She hoped that it would be from Jisung or Sooji, but it was from Hyunjin, who said that he enjoyed their time at the cafe, and looked forward to their next interaction.

Although he didn’t put it like that, exactly. It was more like, “I had fun today, let’s do this again.”

It seemed a lot like the conversation two people on a date would have…

…no no no no. That was embarrassing. She swore she could feel her cheeks heat up, what an awkward thought, seriously.

Furthermore, her stalker seemed rather silent—this meant that she could focus on her work, hopefully. And for the next two months, it stayed like that until she received a text message one evening that made her feel truly unsafe.

It was an image of her—rather, a series of images of her—as they flooded her messages. Each picture was taken in a span of a few days, as it was evident with the clothes she wore, and which path she took to campus. Sometimes she considered herself lucky to live relatively close to the school, but this might not work to her advantage this time around.

She only scrolled through maybe 15 of them when she started seeing other people in the pictures, and most of the pictures that weren’t of her alone were her with Jisung. There were a few with Hyunjin in them, and one with Sooji.

This meant that he followed her. He knew where she lived. He knew which path she took to the university campus. Who she associated herself with, who her friends were.

And if she thought these were bad enough, the pictures she was set later on were even more disturbing. Maybe the creepy stalker had enough smarts to not be identified, but a gloved hand was seen in the ones that were seen later on. She guessed that maybe the hand belonged to her stalker, as they were position in very threatening ways.

When the images finally flooding her phone, she was sent one message:

“Why do you always spend time with them, why, why…I wish I could get rid of them so you’ll only see me…wouldn’t that be nice, yn? If we were the only people left in the world—you would have no one else to hold on to...”

This was the first time her name was actually mentioned in any exchange she had with him. The first one. And somehow, it felt even more personal than before. It was a rude awakening that this had become something far more than she could ever handle.

But she honestly did not know what to do, what else could she do? Create a fortress out of her home? What if her stalker knew how to pick locks? Or even knew how to do things without leaving a shred of evidence?

She thought of calling Jisung but stopped herself before she could dial the numbers. That might cause more trouble...after all, wasn’t her stalker threatening her…?

What on earth did he want…?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My life got the better of me again, as I’m kinda dealing with some personal issues. I swear to make it up by posting some all the character’s backstories, histories, as well as other things. I also ended up in a rabbit hole of research materials...not a criminology major, so I had to do some extra research for that...as well as future research for other things...I’m basing the course structure on some of the syllabi I was able to find online, taking it mostly from Waterloo U’s criminology intro course...

I am going to be picking up the pace a little after this, as the following chapters will be advancing a much faster rate...I think I got too caught up with the details and I need to stop doing that to myself. I’m also veering off course with my original plot, but I think I need to make some small changes in terms of how things happen and give myself a motivation to write chaptered stories...

If things aren’t consistent...I’m not used to writing chaptered stories...I blame myself for not writing out a clear character profile...

[sntyagi1]

MESS IN BENNETT

In many organizations whether educational or industrial there are group which caters the people of the said organization and have some kind of process to help them. This application will help all these organizations to make their work easy and complete the work in a very ordered manner. As the basis for all the process is same so the application be change with accordance to the users wish. As the application is simple to use, it can be operated by anyone carrying an android device and connected to the organization database to login to their own account to start using the application.

TIMELINE

    Week 1

The first week was spent just accumulating back with the environment of the university and not much was done in terms of project development. In the first week the focus was mainly on the introduction with the new subjects given or chosen by us for the new semester. As we returned from our internship, we had to submit a full-fledged report about the same and a video was to be uploaded on our YouTube channel and all of this took my whole time for that first week back at college. Also, as it was the first week no one was in the mood to start brainstorming for the idea of the project so early.

      Week 2

The second was spent brainstorming for the idea for the project. As I did web-development in my internship I wanted incorporate that learning in my project. So, went around the teacher’s department and asked for their help in choosing a project which will not only be impressive but will be completed in the given amount of time. But that was of no help, I was not able to get any good ideas from the CS department and to rely on the internet only. I knew that I wanted to combine web development and machine leaning in my project, but I didn’t know in what way.

    Week 3

In the third week I started researching on the internet for the ideas for the capstone project, this again proved to be quite difficult because some projects which I found were of very low level and some were of so high that I was quite shocked that people had done sch impressive work in their B.Tech degree only. The idea of my project from my friend/roommate, he told me about the problem faced by the mess committee and how much food is wasted when some students decide to skip their meals, particularly on weekends. All of this resulted in the idea for my project.

    Week 4

In the fourth week I started focusing on the methodology for my project. It was a difficult process as I must start the course on android development, because before this I have not dwelled in the development of smartphones applications. This was challenging as I had to start writing for the first milestone also. The first milestone was a big document which ate up a lot of my time. Finally, the first milestone was completed, and I started working for the development of my project with focus on the development pf the machine learning model and taking out the data.

  Week 5

After submitting the first milestone, the placement preparedness classes started and the companies started coming, which ate up a lot of time. As I had to prepare for the aptitude tests and prepare myself for the interview process, all of my time was spent focusing on readying myself for the placement drive. But in between all these procedures I still was able to focus on completing the android course(basic) on Udacity. I also started clicking pictures o the dishes served to us in the mess and collected images from the internet of the three dishes which I focused on first.

    Week 6

In the third week the companies started coming and each day at least one company was in the campus. The progress of the development of the project was slow and I basically did very little in this week. I started working on the model to recognize different dishes. Last semester I learned deep learning in which I learned CNN, which was a method to recognize images.

I started working on the development for the model to differentiate between different food items, but to train the model I need a lot of images and a variety of it with some data specially for validation.

    Week 7

In the seventh week I started working on the user interface of the app and started making the registration and login page for the application. I used online available firebase database available to us free from google. I connected it with my android studio and used to allow access to the users. I stated training my model VGG16 but it is taking a lot of time to train the data on azure notebook and also some considerable amount of time is spent on the validation part. I was able to do this much only as I was busy in the placement process.

    Week 8

In the eighth week I stated writing the second milestone, which again is a big document and is taking a lot of time to complete the document. This week is especially hectic because of the coming mid-term and the placement drive which is happening. As I have not been able to secure a job yet my main focus is on the placement process, the only I will be able to spend all my time on the development of the project. The development of the project again will be slow in the next week also because of the coming test and the lab evaluation in the subject of RPA.

Week 9

In the coming 9th week I will be focusing on the mid-terms and the evaluation of the second milestone. I will also try to increase the speed of my VGG16 model and try to bring some changes in it so that the latency will be reduced. Also, I will try to add some basic functionalities in the application I am developing at the same time with the model. If by then I am not placed I will be revising all my previous subjects to improve my chances in the next upcoming placement drive. But the focus will jot be shifted from the project.

 Week 10

In the 10th week I will focus on the model to predict the favorite dishes of the users. That will need some data to train but as I will not have data from the users, I will try to make up some data and feed it to make it work. At the same time, I will probably research how to upload my models on the server so that the android application can communicate with model to predict the results. As this will be new for me so it will probably take up a lot of time, but the necessary work will have to be completed.

  Week 11

 As the deadline for the project submission will be coming close, I will have to start working very quickly and start focusing on the app development, in a fashion that the users will be able to understand how to use without any instructions given to them. The user interface should be very easy for any user to understand and, I will focus on how to reduce the latency of getting the output from the server. If there are any documents to be written I will also have to spend time on them. But at tis time I hope to complete my project.

  Week 12

At this point of time I will focus on finetuning any development left in my project. I will probably try to improve my application and try to train my model as much as possible in the time left. I will probably try to improve all the aspects of my project and if there is anything that I may have missed in the development procedure will try to remove it and finish my project on time. Also, will have to test my application in real time and will have to receive the feedback from the users, which again is an essential part of any product development.

DESCRIPTION

The project is using machine learning in an android application which is not very easy to achieve. The application will be opened by the user and they will be met with the registration tab in the starting which is connected to free to use database “Firebase" available to the people on the net, this database is generally used for the mobile applications only. In this the data which is being sent from the application is sent will be saved. Also, the data can be read from here if there comes, if any need arise to use some kind of functionalities which require to take out data from the database, it will not be difficult.

The user will have to submit their email id and must make a password to register in the application and to start using its functionalities and same goes for login also. After logging inn, the user can select the menu button to see the menu for that day. Also, there will be button identify the different dishes available in the menu.

This will automatically open the camera of your phone for you and you can click the image of the food. As the model is using a couple thousand image to identify the dish, the captured picture should be clear and not blurry and the focus should be on the actual dish and not other items, then only the model will work properly. There are thousands of images that are used to train this model and some few to test and validate the model. Also the process to convert the python file into the file which can be used in the android project is also difficult.

[moontaeilll]

ALL ABOUT SM GLOBAL PACKAGE & NEO CITY: SEOUL EXPERIENCE

by twitter user @sugnsook​ // @yudotaeil 

Hello~ so i am not that good at explaining/vlogging or writing stuffs but in this thread? or blogpost or wherever u guys reading this, i will try to describe my experience as much as I can. Also for now, I am dividing this post, FAQ-style  according to several topics, and I will put a separate detailed post on my own Neo City: SEOUL experience. I hope this will help for u guys deciding to splurge a bit on concert/global package!

Disclaimer: In the past, I got a few ccs complaining about my fangirl related-expensive expenses, I just want to note earlier here that as the whole prior to the actual concert, I was a part time student & working 30+ hours a week, working every chances I get. It was also my last semester of undergrad studies & I have been wanting to attend NCT’s first ever concert since 2017 and been really saved up since then, so I consider the large expenses is pretty much a treat for myself.

Tl;dr: if you worked hard enough and really wanted to attend your faves event, just go for it, as it was really worth it.

— General

What is included in Global Package?

Concert ticket (depending on days u wanna go), a good quality hotel for your stay, return transportation to & from the concert venue - hotel, preorder access to official merchandises, NCT 127 theme global package-special merchandises, NCT 127 theme snack boxes (after the concert), One themed lunch, a half day tour with tour guide before the concert, special event (varies according to what concert) - for NCT127’s we got a photoshoot session with NCT127’s life-size standee in SM’s infamous practice room itself.

How much does Global Package cost?

All i can say first thing first is….it IS costly. The ones I am paying is $949USD for Superior Single (Course C) as shown below:

The difference between the prices & packages are it depends on which hotel they will locate you & your seating in the concert. They also have Course A, Course B & Course C which depends on the concert days you are attending. Because I am flying out to Seoul just for the purpose of concert so why not just buy the two days ticket? And yeah that is why I chose Course C.

When does the ticketing open?

Usually the global package ticketing will only open at least one month prior to the actual concert, just like the concert announcement itself.  Basically right after SM announce the concert, just be prepared as the ticketing will be shortly after it, right before the general ticketing starts. My advice is just, save up save up and save up as it is really well-known super costly.

How competitive the tickets are?

It is less competitive than general ticketing for sure, but pretty competitive in between ifans itself. When I bought mine, I initially planned for just economy ones but the ticket sold out WHEN i clicked “payment”. So, be quick or you might need to wait a bit more. I’m the type to be anxious if I dont have my ticket yet so I really want my ticketing matters to be settled up as soon as possible so-- when I figured out the economy package got sold out I quickly clicked on superior option - impulsively hehs.

During that ticketing, SM allows you to hold your payment up to 2 hours, as for twin package buyers can split payment. So if the tickets sold out, you might be able to get it after 2 hours. NOTE THAT: SM changed the policy from 2 hours to 30 mins now.

Eventually SM will release more packages and you CANNOT change your options once you have buy it. The packages will be available up until a week/or two before the concert, but the type of packages is really depends. I would say, Course C - Economy package sold out pretty quickly because that is what most people aiming for.  

*also, keep refreshing the page if you are buying at the exact ticketing open time! The ticketing for mine opened 3 mins before the actual time so yeah….

How is the payment made?

Paypal only. Just be sure you have signed up to smtown travel account, and link you cards or have paypal balance to get your payment completed smoothly. Your package will only be confirmed once you get the payment confirmation so, having a working payment method is important. SM’s cancellation policy is ridiculous so I recommend everyone who is interested to join GP to do a thorough research beforehand.

Can international fans join general ticketing?

Yes, but not really feasible, as Yes24 sites require verification, unless you have connections with korean verifications or buy from 3rd party. The downside of 3rd party is you might get even more expensive ticket collectively compared to what Global Package has offered.

How good the seats are?

It depends on your luck as you will only draw your ticket basically the day before the concert. The more you paid for the package, the better the seats. For standing you might get a better queue number and in korea concerts you strictly go in by queue number. I chose seating, so for luckily one of my seat was right next to extended stage, and another seat was on the other side but center view. Also i luckily got both sides of seating so I can enjoy the concert with both views.

It is possible to trade your ticket between other global package holders tho - bcs i saw people did this at my hotel lol but you cannot ask sm to change your ticket. The concert ticket will be written as “해외팬투어” (intl fans tour), instead of your name.

My seat on the first day

My seat on the second day, center view

My seat on the second day, side view

Is there a customer service page i can rely to?

Yes. If there is one thing i would applaud SMtown travel for, it is for their customer service. I used a lot of their “Q&A” page and they typically will reply you within one business day. If you ask on weekend, they will respond to you as quick as on Monday. So if you have any like literally, ANY question about your package, just send a question to them and they will reply personally as soon as they can. And it is in english.

— Logistics

After you have bought your package, SM will update the logistics & schedule 2 WEEKS before the concert. So don’t worry if they ghosted you out before that 2 weeks lol.

Technically, they will divide the hotels according to the package type (dlx/superior/econ), then they will divide you into bus numbers, according whether you are seating/standing. Also your schedule will depends on the bus number you get. And this is non-exchangeable, as they prepared everything according to the list that they grouped you out.

How is the hotel?

For me, i got located at Ibis Styles Ambassador Hotel in Gangnam. Because I got single package, i got the whole hotel room for myself, lol what a new experience, as for my solo travels i only go for budget hostels 🤣. The hotel location is only 15~20mins subway away from the venue, and it is walking distance from COEX. There are a bunch cafes & convenience store nearby so it is pretty easy to get something. The only thing is SM’s booth opens at 8pm, so because I arrived early, I just roamed around until the booth opens. At SM’s booth, it is where you pick up your preordered merchs, sm’s merchs and most importantly draw your tickets. Also I took the chance when gathering with fellow global package goers to trade anything i needed to exchange while everyone is there.

I dont know where to put this under, but for GP, We were given a greeting card from the boys, bunch of stickers, a letter set (with colour pencil), L-holders, bunch of posters and nct127’s moodlight. For the letter set, you can decorate and write fanletter to the members and hand it to your tour guide at the time they ask you. I bought some masking tape and stickers beforehand to decorate my letter, u can prepare it ahead too and transfer it to the letter they give as the time frame is really short.

Can I go to the concert by my own?

Yes you can~ Be sure to tell your tour guide so that they dont waste time waiting. You also have to tell them whether u want to go back to hotel with them or not, as that is when they will hand you the snack boxes. If you are not certain of travelling alone in Seoul, i recommend to travel by the bus they provide, because the tour guide will bring you right until the concert entrance. For me, I wanted to join fan-events and roam around the venue more, so I decided to go on my own. (Best thing about it was when you’re in a train with fellow NCTzens they just airdrop you a lot of nct related stuffs — including the selfies they airdropped at the venue!).

— Itinerary

How tight the schedules are?

It kinda not as tight as I thought? Except for pretty early schedule on the first day, also Maybe because I got a seating ticket so I dont go to venue after the tours right away (standing fans had to queue right away after the tour)

And for me, this was my schedule —

25th 8pm: pick up merchs, ticket etc from SM booth 26th 10am - gather at hotel lobby 10:30am - depart for lunch (at Bulgogi Brothers), it was NCT127-theme and they play nct’s songs! 11:50am - depart to COEX artium - u get 1 hr to roam around there, I chose to roam around smtown museum 1pm - depart to SM C&C building in cheongdam, for special event Around 2~ish - depart back to hotel

U get free time in between and gather back at 4:30pm to depart to concert venue as concert starts at 6. As concert ends around 8:30pm, they give you about 45mins~ to get back to the bus if you wanna go back with them. 27th Bus departs at around 2 pm if i recall, as concert starts at 4pm. I went out at 10am lols (also tell your tour guide!) and bus departs around 7:30pm after the concert. 28th - check out around 12pm.

Detailed itinerary will be updated in my experience post.

The best thing about the concert period was they give you discount on some SM-related stuffs. For example, they give 30% off (?) for beverages at sm cafe for ticket/GP holders, and also discounted smtown museum admission. There were also new merchs got released that time, and some other promotions going on.

Snack box after the concert!

Merchs I collected from kfans giveaways at the venue

The best part was NCTZens spreading out the fanproject - sing Paradise during Encore; using Airdrop. NEO indeed 😎

The amount of memes & stuffs being airdropped - lol 

— Budgeting

General budgeting for my trip:

Flight - around 1.6K MYR return trip with 20kg luggage & meal (AirAsia)

Hotel - i only went during my GP stay period so it was all inclusive (hotel + concert ticket) with that $949 USD

Other expenses (tmoney, food, additional merchs) - about $250 usd is enough for me for 4 days, considering I spent on buying cosmetics & merchs a lot. My own preordered merchs was separate amt too, it depends on what u do/willing to spend around that period.

— For Muslim Fans

Do they provide halal meals?

They dont provide halal meat, but you can request for vegetarian option or seafood. During lunch, I got vegetarian bibimbap set. And for the snack boxes, too bad SM provided ham/bacon in the sandwiches, which I am not confident in removing it so I decided to not eat, just eat the cookies. Also they offer late-night meals after the concert (separate pay), but I didnt opt for that one and only went to eat at nearby places.

Can I pray before the concert?

Yes~ as I mentioned earlier, there are a few hours gap before you depart to concert so you can pray at your hotel beforehand. Or if you dont mind, like I did as I went to venue early on the 2nd day, I went to pray at Olympic Park area itself, there are a lot of benches or u can walk a bit further to isolated places to pray. I just sat down at some bench and pray while sitting down.

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These are what I can think of, and as I said earlier I do have another separate post regarding my own NEO CITY: Seoul experience, and I will update under a thread. If you have any questions feel free to contact me via twitter (@sugnsook/@yudotaeil) or  curiouscat.me/6sungjae.  Also for neo city fancams/random pics about my trip, it will be updated eventually under the main thread where this entry is posted :) Hope it helps!

[sanacaspercatvet]

A Day in the Life of Vet Student

For pretty much my entire life, I have been what is commonly known is rural New Zealand as a “townie”. The last 3 years of my life however, my career as a vet student has flung me in the farthest corners of the peaceful New Zealand countryside.

The 26th of August, 2019. I am having my first day of a rural vet practice clinical placement.

I wake up sleepy and sad to be leaving my all too warm bed heated by an electrical bed warmer.

My feet hit the cold floor. It’s 6.34 am. The sun has risen but I can’t see her behind the storm clouds, so the light in the air is the harsh fluorescent moody kind of light which makes you want to snuggle back into bed and sleep some more (which is kind of a permanent mood for me anyway but I mean whatever).

I hate the beginnings of placements. A new place. New strangers I have to interact with. The beginning of a period of interrupted sleep patterns. Boxed food. I generally try to avoid packing myself food (only because I’m lazy), but if you don’t have food on placement, you’d rather as well be dead. The work really builds up an appetite. You will find yourself eating literally anything you can get your dirty poopy hands on.

I get in the car and start driving. It was supposed to be a 30 minute drive according to Google maps, but nothing could have prepared me for the roads I needed to traverse that morning. I shall attempt to describe the drive using just a series of multiple single words:

windy, death, narrow, death, inappropriate-speed-limits (yes I’m aware these aren’t single words), death, SUVS-with-impatient-drivers-sticking-to the-bum-of-my-car, death, rain, wind, RAIN, death, 25kph recommended hairpin bends, death, DEATH

I arrive bright and early, 10 minutes before I am supposed to be here, just so I time to give myself a pep talk in the car. “Okay, Sana, you can do this. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You aren’t going to die. It’ll be fine. Just like your other placements. You’re okay. Breathe, breathe. Yes, like that. In… out….”

I walk into the clinic carrying my multiple pieces of paraphernalia and introduce myself at the reception. This is a huge clinic. Bigger than any of the others I’ve worked in so far.

They make me wait for a bit before taking me into the back room and introduce me to the vet I’ll be working with today. The center has about 5 large animal vets whom I will be working closely with over the next two weeks.

We start getting ready for the first call out of the day.

I’m wearing work pants, a long sleeve t-shirt under a polo t-shirt under a sweater, two pairs of socks (cute pink patterned ones under a proper pair of farmer work socks), and a pair of steel toed work boots. I am still really frikking cold. My toes and fingers are ice-blocks.

Before we go out, I don a pair of overalls, wet weather overalls, and a rain jacket. I put on a beanie I’m willing to ruin, and switch my boots for a pair of gumboots. As I said, it is really a terribly stormy cold cold cold day.

 We get in the vet’s truck. It is really nothing less than a magical thing. It holds everything that they might need during a call out. Starting with the syringes, needles, and drugs, right down to a 6 foot metal calving jack which I will describe a little later.

The boot of the car generally has a fitted wooden trunk with draws filled with stuff. On top of this, there are tubs full of the most random things. If it’s a UTE (utility vehicle), the sides open up as well and hold more vet thingamajigs. The backseat has even more stuff! (surprise)

We get into the car and start driving.

Our first call out is a farmer who wants to do some spring bloods.

(A little background on this: Spring is the season during which cows generally give birth over here. So the season is also called calving. After cows give birth, they get their calves taken off them and put into sheds on milk powder or milk from different cows so the mother can be put into a milking herd and her milk collected and sold. Generally, after calving, and after milk production starts, if the cow hasn’t eaten enough during her pregnancy, her body can go into a negative energy balance state, where she is producing more than her body has/can make. Her calcium and magnesium levels are the first to drop. If this happens, she can collapse. The farmers usually try to treat this themselves in the beginning by providing them with calcium/magnesium supplements with an energy formula. When this doesn’t work, they call out the vets.)

Spring bloods are done to check how the herd is doing nutritionally and whether they have any deficiencies. Usually, we take around 10 blood samples and it can serve as proxy for a herd of around 200-ish cows.

We get there and get everything else set up. The farmer has already taken out 10 cows for us and lined them up so we can get right to it.

It is my first time taking blood from a cow.

In our practical sessions during the last two semesters, we’ve drawn blood from sheep. Cows are a little different. From sheep, we usually take blood from the jugular vein under the neck. In cows, we take blood from the blood vessel under the tail.

When working with cows, it is really really easy to get covered in poop. If you aren’t in the industry, you’d be surprised. Farmed cows are just always pooping, especially when they are being handled. Their poop is also usually semi-liquid so when it falls on the concrete floor, it does a wonderful acrobatic job of splashing up and covering parts of your body you didn’t even know existed. I learnt my lesson early after spending my summer two years ago on a dairy farm. But that’s a story for a different time.

Because of this constant poop assault, you need to be covered well and also know which parts of your body to expose (your hands upto your elbows, cuz its easier washing poop off skin than it is washing it off sleeves).

How to draw blood from a cow: Ensure cow is properly positioned so the bum is facing you. Lift tail up and with your other hand, feel for a little divet on the bottom part of the tail close to the body. The divet will be shaped kind of like a ‘B’. Right in the center of the B, you will find the blood vessel. It’s a bit of a juggle knowing what to hold using what fingers. Because while holding the tail and feeling for the hard-to-locate-blood-vessel, you have to uncap your needle and pierce the skin; all while not poking yourself or dropping the vacutainer (which collects the blood due to a vacuum) in the 5 cm poopy slush on the floor.

My first cow, I had to pierce about 3 times to find the right spot. My second cow, I dropped stuff, didn’t find the blood vessel and once I found it, I lost it. So I didn’t get quite enough blood. My 3rd and 4th cows were fine.

Cows tails get quite wet and poopy so they’re difficult to hold. Also, while you’re drawing the blood, it IS totally possible for the cow to start pooping on you. It gets everywhere, the stuff. And it’s not like all of them stand still and don’t move.

SO, a more accurate picture is you standing close to the bum of a pooping cow trying to hold on the tail desperately while it’s wildly struggling and you can’t let go because the needle is stuck up the tail!

Lovely.

Our second call out was nothing short of shocking.

It was supposed to be just a retained placenta/foetal membranes. Sometimes after cows give birth, their placenta doesn’t detach and come out (as afterbirth) which is supposed to happen.  So a vet goes over and has to remove it manually.

As a 3-year veterinary veteran, I thought I’d seen some things. Nothing could have prepared me for this.

We arrive at the farm and in an open hay shed at the front, the farmer’s wife is waiting for us. A little bit of a mental picture adjustment for the reader: In India, when we think farmer, kissan, we usually think of a tanned man in a lungi and a dirty shirt – shoeless. Well, that’s my mental picture anyway. This is how they have always been portrayed in movies and because I’ve never had anything to do with farming in India, this mental image just stuck with me//

In New Zealand, the term farmer means something else entirely. The word farmer is used to refer to a man who actually owns the farm, either a sheep, dairy cow, deer, goat, or pig farm. Sheep and dairy cow farms are the most common.

Farmers here have really surprisingly appropriate gear. Water proof trousers, good sturdy gumboots, either a waterproof overcoat or a woollen fleece pullover or jacket, topped off with a beanie (usually gotten free from Farmlands or any other giant farming stores. Each piece of gear costs on average 200$. So if you’re looking for an industry to invest in…

So the farmer’s wife is all decked up in expensive looking waterproof gear (yes it is still pouring and very very windy). She has her legs crossed, hands in her pockets; and is sitting really casually on a hay bale while her dogs run around her. The expression on her face is almost amused tinged with a 2% strain of boredom.

The cow we are supposed to calve is behind her. On the floor. She looks so done with everything, the cow I mean, not the wife.

We get out of the car and start collecting our gear.

We walk over, exchange pleasantries and start examining the cow. She has a slightly high rectal temperature and her breathing is laboured. She looks a little bloated.

The vet immediately dons a glove sleeve (A glove which goes up all the way to the shoulder) and sticks her hand up the cows vagina and gasps. “There’s a calf in there!”, she tells us.

Since we were called out for retained foetal membranes, we were assuming that the cow had already calved (given birth). Finding another calf in there is a little bit of a big deal because twins aren’t very common in the dairy industry.

“Why don’t you go ahead and have a feel”, she tells me.

I am all too exciting to be sticking my hand in there.

I put on a glove sleeve, making sure to stretch it at the top like one of my lecturers taught us.

Glove sleeves has an amazing remarkable capacity to roll down and bunch up at the elbow just when you’re getting really poopy which defeats the whole purpose of the thing.

Stretching it along the axis towards the top of it constricts the plastic a little so it holds the arm and has less of a chance of slipping down.

I put a little lube on my palm and stick my hand in.

The first sensation you feel when sticking your hand into a cow, whichever orifice it is, is warmth. A whole lot of warmth. This wasn’t my first time inside a cow. I’ll probably write about that another time.

So I stick my hand in and start advancing it further up the canal, and before long I can feel a small hoof. I push further until I feel the chin of the calf. Yup, she had a twin left inside.

The farmer’s wife tells us that she calved over a week ago, and so the vet explains that the calf inside her has probably died and already started rotting.

So now, we start to extract the smelly rotten calf.

We try getting the cow to stand. It’s hard enough trying to get a calf out of a standing cow, and near impossible to get one out of a recumbent cow.

The farmer brings a tractor and lifts up the bottom half of her body into standing position using a special holder that clasps onto the protruding hip girdles of the cow.

The vet pumps a few litres of lube into the cow using a special pump and then puts her hands in and tries pulling the calf out using the forelimbs. We pull for about 10 minutes before deciding that we need the calving jack. Oh yeah, time to bring out the big guns.

The calving jack is made of two metal pieces. The first piece is a 6 foot hollow tube thingy which isn’t actually round, it’s more cuboidal in cross section. The second piece is kind of like a holder ting that sits on the hip girdles of the cow.

You have to attach ropes onto the legs of the calf (while it’s inside, yes) and a rope onto the head. These ropes are attached to the handle of the calving jack and you basically jack it backwards. This motion makes it easier to pull the calf out. Physics, yay!

So we try that for about like half an hour and we only just about manage to get it out halfway. So the head is out now, and it’s pitifully hanging out the mom back side.

The cow’s vagina was doing a really terrible job of dilating: it wasn’t.

So we basically chop the calf in half using a hunting knife.  Yep, that’s what we do. The calf was dead, please remember so you don’t get more freaked out than you already are at this point.

The next thing we are going to do is chop the rest of the calf into pieces while it’s inside the uterus and then remove each piece individually.

There’s a special apparatus that does this. Its basically a sharp wire that you need to get in and around a point where the body bends; we chose to get the wire between the legs.

Once the wire is around where it needs to be and both the ends are out, you need to insert them through two tubes and attach the ends to handles.

Making a sawing motion cuts whatever needs cutting inside.

So I hold the apparatus and the vet starts sawing. It takes us an hour until we make a cut through the flesh and bone.

She puts her hand in again and pulls out one leg, and then pulls out the other leg with a bit of difficulty because it’s still attached to the hip bones.

Every bit of that carcass smells exactly like what it is, a rotting mess. The teeth were falling out, the fur was coming off in tufts. It was exactly what you’d expect from a decomposing body.

So yeah, that was a tough calving.

But it doesn’t end there.

She puts her hand back inside to feel for any more debris that needs removing and she find instead a hole in the uterus!

I put my hand in and can feel the flaps of a really large hole through which I can also feel the stomach and the kidneys. Because of this hole, we are pretty sure that some of the infected rotting stuff has entered the usually sterile space of the abdomen. The cow is doomed.

After spending around 3 hours getting out the calf to save the mamas life, it was so sad to find that hole which had obviously been there a while. There was no possible way to treat that, and the cow was going to die a slow and painful death if we didn’t do anything.

So we spoke to the farmer and he said he would shoot it and that was that.

It was so heartbreaking.

We come back to the clinic really demotivated.

After lunch, I go out with another vet to treat a ‘down cow’. Cows go down due to the whole deficiency thing I already explained above.

It was  s t i l l  RAINING. It was still cold. It was still windy. And out we went.

I’ll keep this last call out short: the vet didn’t have a four wheel drive, the cow was in the middle of a field, we had to walk half a kilometre in the rain and kept coming back to the car because we forgot things, the wind was stinging our faces, the cow was shivering, we treated the cow, it wasn’t getting up, the rain got heavier, it got colder. Yeah so that was our last call out.

I got home at like maybe 5.30, showered and went to the library to study.

And that concludes a day in the life of a vet student.