#what about Audi field

[falsamoneda]

Me @ DC United when their ownership group partners with the new super league.

[meazalykov]

Could I make a request for Obi please?

They already have a established relationship.

With her recently getting injured, could it be something along the lines of Reader got injured a few months before the World Cup and had to miss it, but Obi mostly was there for Reader. Now with it being the other way around this time, Reader feels conflicted about going to the Olympics as see knows those first few weeks are the hard but she won’t be there to support Obi.

my home is with you

lena oberdorf x uswnt!reader (requested)

authors note: i'm sad about her injury :( I wanted to see her at the olympics and start with bayern soon.. I know she will come back stronger ❤️ here's your request! normally i wouldn’t decide to write about this because it’s so soon, but i do requests (unless it’s too dark & much) so i hope you like :)

warnings: many injury mentions, very long chapter.

being back in your hometown gave you a sense of peace and warmth.

you haven't stepped foot in washington dc since 2018. you left your childhood club to go play at gotham for a year-- before moving to lyon (2020-2022) and then bayern afterwards.

waking up in the morning, you wished obi the best of luck against her game against austria. yes, she will be your competitor in the group stages against germany, but she is still your girlfriend of 2 years.

afterwards, you put your phone on dnd and put it in your adidas bag that you will take to the audi stadium. on game days, the captain (lindsey) highly discourages the players being on social media before games.

as the second captain after her, you agreed to follow that rule. social media can be toxic.

if someone really wanted to reach out to you for an emergency, they can do it through lindsey, emma, or your sisters who came to the game to support your send off to paris.

that's exactly what happened. while you were getting ready in your hotel room-- lindsey got an emergency call from sara dabritz, her lyon teammate who played for the german national team.

sara isn't on the german roster for the olympics, but alex popp asked her to call lindsey-- since she needed you to know of the news as soon as possible.

"sara?" lindsey's eyebrows knitted together. sara calling her during international break and the off-season has never happened before.

"where's y/n?" sara asked, ignoring lindsey's confused tone.

"I haven't seen her since this morning, she might be getting ready now. what's going on?"

"the entire german team is trying to get ahold of y/n. lena went down pretty badly during todays game-- it was her knee." sara swallowed.

lindsey was sad to her about the news. nobody likes when another player goes down with a *possible* acl injury.

however, she was scared on how she was going to tell you the news.

hours later at audi stadium, you walked into the stadium alongside trinity and hal. both of them play on this field for washington spirit, and the three of you bonded over the last few days-- knowing washington dc so well.

trinity and hal stopped at a water fountain to fill up their empty stanley bottles with water. your owala bottle was filled with cold ice water already, so you continued on with walking into the dressing room.

as you turned the corner into the room, you hear your coach Emma, say something along the lines of "well we can't tell her until-" before lindsey stopped her with her finger pointing at your entrance.

you were the first to arrive before the rest of the team, surprising to the captain and coach talking in the room.

"hey!" you smiled, unaware of what they know.

"hey y/n, ready for the game!?" lindsey casually says with a smirk on her face.

the poker face of the lyon player is perfection. something could be wrong but as the main captain, she can't let her emotions take over her logic.

as the second captain of the team, you had every right to question what emma and lindsey were just talking about.

however, you didn't. you were too excited to play in your hometown again. many uswnt fans came just to see you play on your turf again.

"I'm so pumped! my family came just for the send off to paris. some of them talk about "oh we can't never see you play since you're in germany." but now they're here so-" you rambled as you giggled.

for a moment, emma frowned at your happy sight. lindsey turned around to look at the coach with a guilty look, hating that they both agreed to not tell you *that news* until the end of the send-off.

"that's exciting. I'm positive we have a great game ahead." emma says.

your happy mood became a miserable one at halftime. being nil-nil against costa rica was not motivating since you wanted to impress your hometown community.

in the 70th minute, you scored off of a set piece shot by mallory swanson. the crowd screamed as they've realized that it was you, their fellow dc native, that scored the goal.

the game ended with a 1-0. you knew that the team needed tons of things to work on if you wanted a chance at winning gold in the olympics, but that will come with time.

after the send off ceremony, lindsey asked if she could personally talk to you in one of the empty conference rooms.

you agreed. at first, you thought that she was going to discuss olympic matters and what will drive the team to win gold once you reach france. since she is the first captain and you're captain whenever she isn't-- along with alyssa naeher.

however, lindsey was very tense as you sat down beside her in one of the wheel chairs. she made sure to close and lock the door as well-- this is when your heart started racing.

she is your friend and hates to give you the bad news.

"I need to tell you this before you go on your phone and see it in the locker room in front of the other girls." lindsey speaks.

your eyes widened, confused.

"what's wrong?" you start to panic.

"alex-- alex popp-- said that lena went down during the game against austria. it's her knee, y/n."

your heart shattered into a million pieces. you looked away from lindsey as you took a few deep breaths.

the blonde understood why you couldn't say anything after that moment. you thought about lena having a possible acl injury.

you panicked knowing that you weren't there to help her.

"I need my phone!'" you jump up from the wheel chair.

"here." lindsey said, pulling your phone out of her jacket pocket. she made sure that she had your phone on hand-- in private-- so none of the other girls were alarmed about seeing you so upset.

after you switched your iphone off from dnd, you had nearly 200 notifications.

the first is lena's parents-- asking you to call them whenever you had time before or after your game.

others came from lea-- updating you on what's going on with obi. she understands you were playing a game and couldn't answer right away.

some messages were from other footballers in the community that you're friends with, asking you to send well wishes to lena on their behalf.

is this how lena felt back in 2023?

back in april 2023, you were a starter in the second game against Ireland.

you weren't feeling the greatest, your friend mallory suffered a bad injury in the first game and you knew she wouldn't see the pitch for a very long time.

in the second half as the ball was coming from the air, you jumped up to head the ball. at the same time, an Irish player's foot went up in the air to get the ball.

the sharp part of the boots kicked at your ribs extremely hard. your breath was caught in your throat and you landed on the ground-- injuring your ankle by landing awkwardly.

the irish player received a red card, but you were struggling to breath as you needed medic immediately. alex and kelley stayed with you as you couldn't even sit up without squealing in pain.

your ankle was on fire and your lung felt like it was beaten in. torture would've been an understatement.

lena finished playing the game against brazil when jule pulled her-- harshly-- to look at the tv in the dressing room.

the german girl watched in horror as she seen her lover on the grass, you were crying your eyes out as you balled yourself together.

she noticed your hands going back and forth between your torso by your right lung, and your left ankle, as the medics tried their best to figure out what's wrong.

"what the fuck happened?" lena said angrily, in english-- confused as she rushed to grab the remote and turn the tv up.

"this isn't good for the united states before the world cup-- mallory went down on the first game against ireland and now *reader's last name* can barely move without a reaction." a german commentator speaks.

the entire german dressing room looks in horror.

your bayern teammates looked horrified as jule tried her best to comfort a stressed lena.

a replay of the injury happened on the tv a second later. everyone could see quinn's cleat harshly kick your ribs-- the landing on your ankle afterwards made some of the dressing room cringe as if they could've felt it themselves.

"yeah, I don't think we will see her in the world cup after this one." the woman commentator on the tv speaks when a stretcher takes you off the pitch moments later.

lena was quick to immediately call your mom and sisters, since they were there and she wasn't.

she knew how excited you were to play in your second world cup after winning the first one at age 17.

when you got back home to germany, lena was there for you. you suffered with a broken rib and grade 2 ankle sprain.

obi helped you stand up most days and picked up heavy things, since you couldn't even breathe without feeling pain for the first three weeks. lena did your chores at home, helped you with showering (your ankle made that hard to do), she did your hair. she did everything to make sure that you were okay.

you couldn't go to the world cup and watch her play, but you were still so proud of her-- even if she got eliminated in the group stage.

the injury that happened to you made lena fully committed to wanting to marry you. even through your bad injury-- you were there to comfort her once she was back from australia after a failed world cup campaign.

back in the conference room in dc, you rushed to call lea.

she answered in a heartbeat, you were surprised since it had to have been 5:30am in germany while 11:30pm back in washington dc for you.

"lea?" your voice cracked. you hated this for lena, more than your own injury from a year prior.

"how was your game?" lea tried to calm you down.

"it was fine, now what happened?" you ask.

lea didn't take offense to you wanting to know what happened. this reminded her on how lena was with you.

being her closest friend at bayern, and the one that put lena onto you, she understands the bond you have with your girlfriend better than anyone else.

"lena tried to tackle and get the ball away from a player but her knee popped. I think you need to watch this for a better understanding." lea speaks.

on the FaceTime you can see lea typing on a few things on the phone.

you looked up at a confused, yet guilty lindsey. she felt bad for you since you were far from your home in germany.

the notification on your phone showed that lea sent a link to a twitter video. you clicked on it and watch the whole thing play out.

its hard to tell at first, but slowly you could see obi's knee pop out.

this made you sick to your stomach.

after talking to lea for a few more minutes, then waking up lena's parents to talk to them (they didn't mind, they really wanted to hear from you), then laura, then klara-- you were exhausted.

you were allowed to go on the bus early and choose if you wanted to sit alone on the way back to the hotel.

lindsey told all of the girls that something happened- she explained the situation which caused the girls to feel bad for lena and your situation.

you called lena, in private, once you were back in your hotel. she sounded so hurt which caused your eyes to let out tears (quietly) as she talked about her medical scanning tommorow.

many people would do anything to participate in the olympics. you were grateful to be a bronze-medal olympian already heading to seek gold-- but you wanted to go home to lena in munich.

the best player on the uswnt was you, no debate. after scoring in the 2019 world cup final at 17, winning two champions leagues with lyon, being the second best-player now in the bundesliga with bayern, and carrying the national team to bronze in the last olympics-- the team looked up to you.

the girls let you have your space for a while. even on the plane on the way to france.

tierna, your closest friend on the national team, sat beside you. she was quiet as she watched movies while you anxiously looked at your phone to receive some kind of news.

after the plane landed, the girls were quiet as they headed out. you realized that you couldn't sit in pain waiting for the day that you will get home to munich-- that will affect the team chemistry.

as you were in your hotel room, lena called you.

"hallo liebe." you spoke softly.

you heard lena cough before a few seconds of silence started.

the fact that lena called you instead of facetiming you, you knew it was bad. the three letter injury is something u feared for lena as your eyes widened.

"its both." lena mumbles.

"its both?" you question softly as you request to switch the call to FaceTime.

lena accepts and you see her in the hospital room, tears dried down her cheeks as her red face is covered by her hands.

"acl and mcl." she breathed out as she looked at you through the camera.

you frowned as reality hit.

lena couldn't start a bayern next month.

lena won't go to the olympics.

she will have to sit out for at least eight months.

you know she will be okay, since she has the team and medical doctors to help her heal.

however, you were sad that you couldn't drop everything to go back to munich.

"obi." is all you could say.

"I already know what you're thinking-- and don't." lena randomly says.

your eyebrows knit together in confusion as she looks at you with a unreadable look.

"don't leave your team just to come here. they need you-"

"but you need me a lot more." you cut lena off.

she knows you're right, but she can't be selfish-- even with her injury.

"you will be home soon liebe, I know you love me and will care for me as soon as you can." lena says.

"once I'm back in munich, I will be there for you. you aren't going through this alone-- we will fight through this together and you will be stronger." you gave a sad smile as lena smiles for the first time since she went down on that grass.

"Ich liebe dich" she whispers.

"Ich liebe dich auch" you say back.

"when is your surgery scheduled?" you ask.

"we don't have an exact date yet, but they said it might be the week of the 29th." lena says as she lays back in the hospital bed in her black shirt and black shorts.

you didn't respond as lena flipped the camera, showing you a closer look at her knee.

"I am so sorry." you say.

"its not your fault." lena says.

"I know- but again-- I just want to be there for you."

"and you will soon, don't abandon your team." lena made it clear.

"okay, I won't" you sigh.

of course you felt bad that you didn't want to be in france, but in germany instead helping lena. however, you were sad about the group stage match against germany.

lena and you talked about that match as being one of the last moments where you will be "rivals" before she joins you in the season for bayern. now, neither will happen.

days later, the united states plays germany in the group stage after beating zambia 3-2.

you were in the starting lineup. emma needed you for this match, making sure that you talked to a sports psychologist before this match-- just so you were mentally prepared.

you knew how the germans played, so you would be a key to winning the group stage match.

as the teams were going to take their starting eleven picture, you see the germans hold up a shirt in honor of sydney and lena-- who were injured and couldn't be in the olympics.

you sadly smiled at this, happy that they're remembering them.

however, you got your act together fast. lindsey wasn't in the lineup so you were the captain of the match.

at halftime, it was 1-1. trinity rodman scored a goal in the 10th minute but klara equalized in the 34th after an error from #3 on the USWNT.

in the second half, you scored a golazo in the 55th minute after dribbling around sara doorsoun and alex popp.

unfortunately, lea equalized in the 88th minute.

the game ended 2-2 and you weren't happy or sad about it.

all of the german girls greeted you immediately with hugs and kisses on the head. you accepted them. you missed them dearly and they were the closest thing you had to lena right now.

"lea love!" you sigh in relief when you hug her tightly for thirty seconds. the cameras capture the beautiful sight as most know the significance.

"I wish obi was here right now." you lean your head on lea's shoulder as she kissed the side of your head, above your left ear.

"I do too. I hate how fate works." lea speaks through her german accent.

"same." you roll your eyes. not in anger, but in disappointment for the situation and how things can play out for the worst.

"how are you?" lea asks.

"can I be honest?" you ask. lea nods her head.

"I want to be with her. I am so grateful to be here for a second time but I can't imagine her being alone without us." you whisper into her ear.

you didn't want any of your teammates to hear you. lea is your closest friend so you know she won't tell on you.

"she's not alone, she has her parents-- but I totally understand. she will be okay." lea smiles lightly as she pulls a piece of hair of yours behind your ear, a piece of hair that fell out of your ponytail during the match.

lea is right, lena's parents are staying with her at the new house you both own until you can go back to munich-- which could happen in a few days or weeks depending on the outcome of the olympics.

"I know. she's a fighter.' you smirk.

"and a lover." lea winked at you.

lea loves the way that you and lena respect and are in-love with each other. being the third wheel is annoying sometimes (when she has to hang out with y'all instead of her own girlfriend) but she is happy for the both of you.

after multiple matches of the olympics, the united states is awarded silver after losing against france 2-1 in the final.

you were the one that scored against france.

if you said that you weren't in a rush to get home to munich, you'd be lying.

lena's surgery was pushed back to this morning. so you took the uber straight to the hospital from the airport.

the taller german was asleep as you quietly walked into the hospital room. obi's parents hugged you and congratulated you on silver.

knowing that they've been with their daughter for many days, you offer them a break.

"you guys should go down to the cafe and grab lunch for yourselves, please don't take offense to this but ihr seht beide sehr müde aus." (you both look very tired) you whisper since you didn't want to wake lena.

they loved you like their own daughter, so it didn't take them much convincing for them to get a break-- knowing their daughter was in safe hands with you.

when they shut the hospital doors behind them, lena woke up from the noise.

you took out a blanket from your carry on luggage, your back faced towards lena so you didn't see or hear her wake up.

"liebe?" you turned around quickly when you saw lena awake.

she had the same tired look that you're used to seeing when you wake up beside her, but she was smiling at your sight.

you pout in happiness as you walked up to hug her upper body.

"my sunshine, I'm so happy to see you awake." you kissed the top of her forehead as her head pressed against your chest.

lena closed her eyes in comfort, she missed you the most.

"to see me awake? omg I didn't die." lena laughed.

"oh lena shut it, you know what I meant." you giggled back, happy to see lena cracking a joke through her pain.

you look down her body to see the scar on her knee peak out from her hospital gown.

on the inside, you felt terrible. you hated seeing lena in pain. you'd rather it be yourself than her.

on the outside, you looked at lena as she gave you a peak on the lips.

after that, you saw the ponytail of her hair tangled.

"hold on lena." you pull yourself away from her arms and reach into your tote bag.

"no don't leaveeee!" lena says

"I'm not I'm just going to help you with your hair-- it will help you relax."

you pulled out a soft brush from your bag, refusing to use a comb and risk pulling on her hair after she had surgery.

"you're so sweet" lena looks at the brush in your hand and turns her head to the side, so you have better access.

"anything for my baby." you tell her as you kiss the right side of her temple.

"i'm just glad to be back home." you mumble as you start brushing through obi's hair, getting the tangles out slowly and softly.

"isn't washington dc your home?" lena giggled, joking and teasing about the game you played in dc almost a month ago.

"nope, my home is with you."

I hope you're happy with what I wrote from this request! #comebackstrongerlenaoberdorf ❤️🙌

[scribblesofagoonerr]

howdy, america! | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

my favourite fic to write. it did start out as a sick fic but then it turned into well, this.

pairings: leah williamson x reader!buddy x reader!monkey

summary: preseason has kicked off in america and it's chaos all round!

double the trouble masterlist

thank you @alotofpockets for the help with this one! there's also a special appearance from @lvnleah character Rory as well.

“Nana, it’s too hot!” You whine, not a fan of this hot and sticky weather in the middle of August, “I don’ like it!”

“I know sweetheart,” Amanda sympathises with your fussiness that you’re not entirely used to being in another country as she adjusts the little sun hat on your head, “How about you try and drink some water to see if that helps at all, hm?” She suggests.

“Okay,” You shift restlessly in your seat as you take small sips from the bottle that you’re handed, “I don’ feel good,” You whimper, unhappily.

You are so excited to watch the game, you love it usually. However, today's a bit different with the fact of the unbearable heat in America is that you’re not at all used too, it makes you feel all icky inside.

You don’t like it, not one bit.

You're sitting in the stands with your Nana as you watch the football match unfold as Arsenal take on Washington Spirit in a preseason game at the Audi Field. The sun is blazing down and the stadium is packed with fans all eager to see their favourite players on the pitch.

Donned in your own Arsenal football shirt as you sit perched on your Nana’s lap, with a pale pink sun hat on the top of your head to keep the sun out of your eyes but it didn’t help the fact that you felt uncomfortable with the newfound heat you weren’t all that familiar with.

“I don’ like this heat,” You whine in discomfort, continuing to get fussier as the minutes draw on into the first half of the game, “I feel icky!”

“Oh sweetheart,” Amanda coos, doing her best to comfort you despite the fact you’re just getting more restless by the second as the game goes on, “I know it’s a lot to handle. Shall we see if we can find a spot in the shade?” She wonders.

“I wan’ Mummy,” You whine upset, looking out to where Leah is standing on the pitch with her usual stern expression she always has.

“I know you do, but Mummy is still on the pitch at the minute,” Amanda explains, taking control of the situation to bring you into a more shaded area with hope that you might feel a bit better, “It won’t be long until you can see her, sweetheart.”

“Too hot Nana, I feel icky,” You continue to whine in discomfort, thrashing around in the older women’s arms as you feel a pain in your tummy, “I’m gon’ be sick, Nana!” The tears brim your eyes, wanting nothing more than to be in Leah’s arms again.

“Oh no, sweetheart,” Amanda furrows her eyebrows as she prepares for the worst case situation, “Just a little longer sweetheart. You can see Mummy soon, I promise,” She tries to keep you calm for the rest of the first half of the game.

Despite her best efforts to keep you hydrated and in the shade away from the sun too much, the heat only seems to make you feel worse. 

Amanda is more than thankful for the whistle at the end of the first half to be able to signal to Leah, who’s just finishing up with a small interview.

“I wan’ see Mummy now,” You murmur with a pout on your face, not entirely understanding why you can’t have her straight away.

“Hang on sweetheart, let’s see if we get her attention,” Amanda lightly sways with you in her arms, “Leah!” She calls out, trying to catch the blonde before she dips off into the changing rooms for the half time talk with the rest of the team.

Leah looks over straightaway, concern immediately crossing her face when she takes in your flushed cheeks and drooping posture, “Hello my little bubba,” She jogs over to the sidelines and gently brushes a strand of hair away from your sweaty forehead, “What’s the matter?” She questions, her worry evident for you.

“I don’ feel good, Mummy!” You immediately reach out for the blonde as your bottom lip quivers.

The blonde doesn’t hesitate to scoop you up into her arms and hold you close to her despite the heat, “Oh it’s okay, my little bubba. I’ve got you.” She murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I feel icky, it’s too hot!” You whimper in her arms, snuggling into her embrace despite the blazing heat that there currently is right now, “I gon’ be sick,”

“I’ve got you. You’re gonna be okay, bubba,” Leah kisses the top of your head and holds you in her arms, “It’s very hot here, isn’t it? It’s no wonder why you feel sick,” She adds.

“She’s been fussy the whole of the first half. It might be a good idea to take her indoors for a bit out of the heat,” Amanda suggests the idea, “I know you might need to go back on, so I can take her?” She offers.

“No, it’s fine. I’m not going back on if my little girl is feeling sick,” Leah declares without a second thought, “I’ll go and take her inside myself for a little bit, I just need to let Jonas know Buddy’s not well,” With a quick word passed over to the coaches about being subbed off for the game, you’re heading inside in Leah’s arms to a more secluded area where there is air conditioning available.

“I don’ like this feeling,” You whimper tearfully, “I wan’ watch Monkey though!” You mention your favourite person, you always like to watch her play football and now you couldn’t while you’re inside.

“I know you don’t,” Leah coos, settling down on a chair as she cradles you in her arms while the air conditioning works wonders to cool you down, “We can go and watch Monkey if you want too as long as you don’t feel too sick still?”

“Wan’ watch her,” You murmur quietly.

“Okay, that’s fine. We can do that,” Leah replies in agreement before she stands up again from her seat and carries you in the direction of the changing rooms, “How about we take a little quick shower first to cool you down and then we’ll go back out, hm?” She suggests.

“There’s my favourite little Buddy!” You hear your favourite person speak up as you turn your head and give her a small smile, “What’s wrong?” She asks, concerned.

“Buddy’s not feeling that great at the minute with the heat,” Leah informs the girl, brushing another strand of your hair away from your sweaty face.

Monkey’s eyes widen in concern as she sees you nestled in Leah’s arms, your small frame seeming even smaller as you clung to her and normally, you would be bouncing with excitement to see her, eager enough to run into her arms but today was a completely different story.

The heat had drained all of your energy, leaving you feeling icky and weak.

“Oh no,” The girl frowns, stepping closer towards you as her playful demeanour is replaced with worry, “You’re not feeling well?” She asks.

“Too hot,” You murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you still hold on tightly to Leah.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Monkey pouts at your fragile state she’s not used to seeing you like, “I… I can stay with her if you need to go back on and play?” She offers, turning to look at Leah.

Leah shakes her head in disagreement, “It’s okay, I’ve been subbed off and I am going to sit with her,” She pauses, “Besides, little miss wants to watch you play when you get subbed on.”

“If you’re sure?” The younger girl offers, her usual energy subdued as she watches you with careful eyes, “I don’t have to play today. Buddy’s sick!”

“No, you’re going to play,” Leah replies against the idea, “Buddy will be fine, I’m going to be with her the whole time. Now, go head back out there and we’ll see you out there in a bit, okay?” She encourages Monkey to go back and join the rest of the team that are still sitting on the bench.

“Urgh fine,” The girl huffs reluctantly and shuffles out of the changing rooms in a sulk.

“What is she like, eh? Silly Monkey,” Leah laughs lightly and shakes her head about Monkey’s sudden mood change as she walks over to the shower and turns it on to a lukewarm temperature, before carefully placing you down in the shower as she lets the cool water spray over your body, “There we go, bubba. Does that feel better?”

Despite her teasing Monkey about her mood swing, her focus never once wavers from you as she takes care of you.

“Uh huh. Better, Mummy,” You nod as the water washes away the discomfort.

“Good, I’m glad,” Leah says with a warm smile, reaching for a towel to wrap around you as she turns off the shower, “Let’s get you changed into some fresh clothes and then we’ll go sit back down with everyone else.”

“Sit with Auntie Beth?” Your wonder, curiously.

“Yeah, I think Auntie Beth has been subbed off as well,” Leah confirms, her hands working quickly and efficiently to get you dried off and into a fresh set of clothes, “It’s a good job that I packed spare clothes, isn’t it?”

You scrunch your face up when you realise that you won’t be able to wear your own Arsenal shirt now, “I don’ get to wear my Arsenal top no more,” You mumble, a hint of sadness in your voice.

“It’s okay, I know that you’re still my little cheerleader, Bubba,” Leah kneels down to your level as she smiles reassuringly at you, “For now, it’s between one of these ones,” She says, holding up a couple of options for you to choose from.

You take a moment to decide before you finally point to one you like more, “Green one.”

“Green? Oh that’s a good choice, Buddy!” Leah praises, helping you into the t-shirt along with a pair of white shorts, and you were more than happy to go back out to find your aunties, “Ah, ah, not so fast. You still need some more sun cream on, little miss.”

“No, I don’ like it,” You grumble in protest and try to pull away from her, “Don’ like it, Mummy. it’s icky!”

Leah chuckles softly, her hands already applying the suncream despite your reluctance, “Oh I know, but it’s better than looking like a lobster now, isn’t it, hm?”

“Icky,” You mutter, making a face even if you know she’s right about that, but it still doesn’t mean you have to like it.

You definitely do not like sun cream.

“I know,” Leah agrees with a sympathetic smile as she finishes applying the sun cream to your squeamish body, “All done, see that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Gross,” You whine in response, shaking your head in disagreement.

“It’s not that bad,” Leah smiles in amusement, “Shall we go and see which of your aunties we can find now then?”

“Yeah, watch Monkey play!” You declare, your earlier excitement starting to return now that you’re feeling better.

“Yeah, she’ll be playing soon,” The blonde agrees with a fond smile, holding her hand out for you to take as you make your way back to the bench where you spot a familiar face sitting there, “Look who it is, it’s Auntie Beth!” She points out the blonde woman.

“Hi, Buddy!” Beth greets you with a small wave as she has Rory, sitting on her lap looking grumpy.

You’re not sure if it’s the heat or the fact that she’s missing Viv, but she’s definitely not having a good time in America.

You do miss Jordan while you’re out here though but you’ve been able to FaceTime her, Blu and Tater-Tot as well.

You’re excited to be able to see them when you’re home!

“Hey, pipsqueak!” You hear the familiar Australian voice of Monkey’s best friend and partner in crime, Kyra, “Where’s your Arsenal top?” She jokes.

“Couldn’t wear it no more,” You pout in disappointment, your fingers touching the hem of your new t-shirt which isn’t as cool as your own Arsenal one.

“Aw, no. That’s a shame, but don’t worry you still look cool in that one!” Kyra notices your glum expression and gives you a sympathetic smile, “And hey, you’re wearing green now!” She winks, trying to lift your spirits.

“Yeah, you’re reppin’ leprechauns’ colours now!” Monkey jokes as she chips in on the conversation, although you're not entirely sure who she is talking about.

“Oi, I heard that,” Katie chimes in, rolling her eyes playfully.

Monkey just laughs, “Good, you were meant to,” She says before she ruffles your hair knowing it’ll wind you up, “Glad that you’re feeling better, Buddy!”

“Monkey, stop!” You do your best to perfect the glare that is almost identical to Leah’s.

The girl holds her hands up in mock surrender, “Oh, now I know you’re feeling better if you’re scowling at me like Mum does,” She jokes, sticking her tongue out at Leah for good measure.

“Oi, watch it you," Leah fires back with her own stern look, though there’s a hint of amusement in her eyes, “Go on, go start warming up, Menace.”

“God, you’re always so bossy,” Monkey remarks, rolling her eyes dramatically but not without a smirk.

“Go on, go, Menace,” Leah says, pointing toward the sidelines with an exasperated shake of her head.

Monkey huffs dramatically but gets up from her seat, dragging her feet a little for the show, “Fine, alright, I’m goin’ now,” She mutters, throwing one last playful glance over her shoulder as she finally makes her way to the pitch.

“That girl sometimes, eh?” Beth chuckles amusedly after she watched Monkey’s theatrical exit from the seats.

“Tell me about it,” Leah replies, adjusting the sun hat on your head to keep the sun out of your eyes, “She’s a pain in the butt sometimes, but we love her, don’t we, Buddy?”

“Monkey’s my favourite person,” You declare confidently, snuggling closer to Leah.

Beth dramatically gasps in outrage, clutching her chest as if she’s been mortally wounded, “What? I thought I was your favourite person!”

“No, that’s me,” Katie pipes up from the other side of Beth, her tone playful.

“No, you’re both silly!” You giggle at the pair of them, “Monkey’s my favourite!”

“I’m offended,” Beth continues to faux upset as she keeps one arm around Rory, who’s still grumpy because she misses Viv, “I’m your favourite, right, Roo?” She asks her daughter.

“Yeah,” Rory agrees quietly, fiddling with the hem of her own Arsenal football shirt that had Beth’s name and number on the back of it.

“Well at least my daughter agrees,” Beth jokes, trying to lighten the mood, though she sneaks a glance at Rory, who’s clearly not her usual cheerful self.

Leah notices the exchange and leans a bit closer to Rory, “You know, Roo, I know you’re missing your Mamma but she’s going to be so happy to see you when you’re back home. I bet she can’t wait to hear all about your time here.”

Rory looks up to Leah with a small smile at the mention of Viv bringing her a bit of comfort, “Really?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Leah nods, her voice warm and reassuring, “And just think of the big hug she’s going to give you when you see her again. She’s going to want to hear every single detail.”

Rory’s smile grows a little wider, and she finally relaxes a bit against Beth, “I miss her,” She admits softly to the blonde.

“I know, sweetheart,” Beth says gently, rubbing her daughter’s back, “I miss her too, but Auntie Le is right. Mamma is going to be so excited to hear about everything that you’ve been up to.”

Leah gives Rory a warm smile before she looks between the two of you, “I think I might have an idea to cheer you girls up after the game,” She pauses, “I think we should get some ice cream! What do you think?”

“Ice cream!” You squeal in excitement, you sure do love ice cream a whole lot.

Beth laughs at your enthusiasm and peers down to look at Rory, “Oh ice cream does sound good, doesn’t it, Roo?”

Rory’s face brightens a bit at the suggestion, “I like ice cream,” She tells Leah with a small smile.

“I know you do,” Leah says, giving Rory a soft smile, “And you know who else likes ice cream? That big kid over there,” She gestures onto the field where the subs board is being changed for Monkey to go on to the pitch along with Kyra, Steph and Caitlin.

“Monkey likes ice cream a lot!” You reply in agreement.

“Yeah she does, so we’ll have to make sure that Monkey doesn’t eat it all before we get there.” Leah jokes, playfully.

“No, Monkey can’t eat it all!” You whine in protest, knowing that Monkey also likes ice cream as well, “You have to stop her, Mummy!”

“Don’t worry we will,” Leah laughs in amusement, “Look, she’s about to go on the pitch now so you can watch her,” She points with her index finger to where Monkey is racing onto the pitch.

“Go, Monkey! Go!” You shout enthusiastically, waving your little hand in the air in support of your favourite person.

Monkey spins around and looks over in the direction where you are and quickly waves back before she gets her head focused on the game, running all over the pitch with a burst of energy that matches her whole personality.

“Mummy, you and Auntie Beth look silly!” You can’t help but giggle at the current way that Leah and Beth both have the brightly coloured yellow bibs on their sun to protect their heads from the sun.

You don’t have that problem though, since you’ve got your own pink sun hat to keep your head safe.

“It’s the only way to keep us from getting too hot,” Leah tells you as she laughs, “I’m not fortunate to have a sun hat like you do, bubba.” She explains.

“Yeah, where can I get one of those lovely pink hats?” Beth chips in, her tone playful as she nudges you slightly.

“Mine,” You giggle at the blonde’s playful antics.

“I can’t see her,” You whine in protest, losing track of seeing your favourite person running with the ball.

“She’s over there, see?” Leah gestures to where Monkey’s running on the pitch with the ball under her feet, “Do you see her now, bubba?” She questions.

“I do! I do!” You squeal in excitement and clap your hands enthusiastically.

You find it hard to keep up with the rest of the match, the heat was relentless and despite Leah’s best efforts to still keep you cool and comfortable, it’s not long before you feel agitated again with it so your enthusiastic mood dips once again.

“It’s hot,” You whine pitfully, shifting around in discomfort.

“I know it is, bubba. It won’t be long until the match is over now,” Leah tries her best to reassure you, using a programme that she got her hands on to fan you and keep you cool again, “You don’t feel sick again, do you?”

“Nuh uh, just hot,” You grumble in disagreement with the heat. 

You miss home and the terrible weather, it’s not always hot there like it is here.

There’s a quick water break and you notice as Monkey comes bounding off the pitch, her energy still high despite the intensity of the game, though she spots you squirming in Leah’s lap and immediately notices your discomfort.

“What’s wrong, Buddy?” She jogs over, her face flushed but she still has her usual bright smile, taking the towel that she was just handed over to Leah to give to you as she knows you’re more in need of it right now, “This might help a little bit.”

“Thanks, Monkey,” Leah thanks the girl appreciatively, adjusting the damp towel over your shoulders to help you cool down.

“Anything for my favourite little buddy,” Monkey shrugs her shoulders, taking small sips of her own water bottle as she gets her usual mischievous glint in her eye, not thinking twice before she sprays a little cool water over you from the bottle, “Gotcha, now gotta go. Buh-bye!” With that, she drops the bottle and rushes back onto the pitch to carry out the rest of the game.

“M’ wet now,” You pout up at Leah, who chuckles softly and shakes her head.

“Monkey is a menace, isn’t she?” Leah asks, her eyes twinkling with amusement, “Don’t worry, you can get her back when she least expects it.” She adds, playfully.

“Yeah, I’ll get her back!” You smile cheekily, snuggling against Leah as you attempt to watch the rest of the match play out with the opposing team.

You’ve never been more grateful for a match to end as the heat is unbearable and once the final whistle blows, you peer up to look at Leah with hopeful eyes with the idea in mind to seek out Monkey on the pitch, and get your own back with the water bottle, “Can we go see Monkey now?” You ask.

“Come on, bubba,” Leah replies in agreement, taking a hold of your hand as she carefully helps you down the big steps that lead out to the pitch, “Do you see her?” She asks.

“Yes!” You spot her straight away as she has also spotted you and starts to race towards you, “I see her!” Letting go off Leah’s hand, you run towards her.

“Ah, my favourite little Buddy!” Monkey grins and lifts you up into her arms before she proceeds to spin you around, “Did you like the match?”

“Lots of goals scored!” You nod enthusiastically.

“Careful or she’ll be sick,” Leah states wearily as she finishes high fiving with the other team before she makes her way back to you both, “And then you’ll be the one to deal with it.”

“I know, I know. I’ve got her,” Monkey replies, holding you close to her as she walks back to join the post-match huddle with the team, standing on the other side of Leah.

“Proud of you out there, my girl,” Leah tells her, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.

“What about me?” You ask, pouting at her.

Leah smiles and gently prieses you from Monkey’s arms, “I’m proud of you too, my little bubba,” She says, keeping you close as she listens to the post-match talk with Jonas and the rest of the team.

“Get down now please,” You ask politely, wanting to run about and kick the ball on the pitch now the match is over, you’re not so keen to listen to all the grown ups talk about stuff that you’re not sure about and maybe now Rory would play football with you?

“Don’t wander off,” Leah murmurs protectively, kneeling down to place you back on the floor, trying to pay attention to the post-match chat but more concerned about you wandering off somewhere unknown, though there’s a high chance of that happening when there’s a lot of staff here.

“Kick the ball with me, Roo!” You ask your cousin, who agrees with you and the two of you wander off to the stray football on the pitch, “Kick it, Roo!” You exclaim, pointing to the ball.

“I can’t believe you’re playing football without me,” Monkey gasps dramatically, making way to join your football game as you guess the chat must have finished now.

“I wanna join as well!” Kyra chimes in, joining the makeshift game with you, Monkey and Rory.

“Looks like your mini-me’s are putting you both to shame,” Caitlin jokes with Leah, seeing you put the ball in the back of the net before Monkey chucks you up on her shoulders to celebrate the goal.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Leah laughs, shaking her head in amusement before making her way to greet her friend and follow England team mate, Esme Morgan.

You want to continue to kick the ball around, but your attention has been diverted to the white and red Gunner branded cowboy hat that Leah’s been handed, and so has Monkey’s as well.

“Howdyyyyy!” You hear Leah shout loudly from the other side of the pitch.

“Ooo, I want it!” Monkey bolts in the direction to where Leah is standing alongside Lia and Amanda on the other side of the barrier to block off the pitch.

“Wait for me, Monkey. I got little legs!” You whine and run after her, not wanting to be left out.

“Mine, I call dibs!” Monkey shouts aloud, trying and failing to reach for the hat on top of Leah’s head due to her short height, “No fair, gimme. I want it!”

“But it’s mine,” Leah retorts with a laugh, amused to watch Monkey try and get it from her, “Get your own hat, Menace.”

“No fair, I want it though– It would look better on me!” Monkey grumbles, doing her best to still and grab a hold of the hat, jumping and stretching her arms up.

“Fine,” Leah rolls her eyes with your favourite persons persistence and takes it off her own hat to plonk on her own, “There you go, Cowgirl.” She teases, patting her on the head.

“Thanks, Malfoy. You’re the best!” Monkey grins, happy with the hat for a few seconds before she shocks everyone around her and takes it off to gently place it on top of your own head, “Howdy, Cowgirl.”

“Cowboy hat!” You squeal in excitement.

“That was kind of you. I didn’t think you’d be willing to give it up so quickly,” Leah tells the younger girl, momentarily taken aback by Monkey’s sweet gesture to give it to you instead,

“It’ll help protect her from the sun,” Monkey tells her, trying to not make a big deal out of it, “Oh I’ll be back, I hear someone calling my name.” With that, she dips in the direction of a group of fans calling over to her, asking her to sign their shirts.

“Superstar on the pitch and fan favourite,” Lia jokes from where she stands beside Leah, speaking to other fans as well, watching out of the corner of her eye as one of the fans gave Monkey a white plush jellycat bunny.

“More like Menace,” Leah replies in amusement, taking the time to chat to Amanda in the stands as she lifts you into her arms so you can see her as well.

“Are you feeling better now, sweetheart?” Amanda questions in concern, not liking to see you so unsettled in any situation.

“Better now,” You nod in agreement, snuggling up closer to Leah while keeping the red and white cowboy hat on your head.

“It’s just a very hot day isn’t it,” Leah coos, doing her best to protect you from the harsh sun, “We’re going to get ice cream after this to help with the heat, aren’t we?”

“Ice cream!” You reply enthusiastically.

“Whoa, ice cream? That sounds great,” Amanda exclaims with a hint of playfulness in your voice, “You had better make sure that Monkey doesn’t eat it all.” She jokes.

“I heard my name,” Monkey pops up with the newfound white rabbit clutched in her hand, “Here you go, Buddy. This is yours,” She hands the rabbit to you.

“Thank ‘ou!” You take a hold of the fluffy rabbit and snuggle up closely to it.

“Hang on a second,” Leah says, shifting you to one arm while she uses her other hand to rest on the back of Monkey’s forehead, playfully pretending to check her temperature.

“What’re you doin’?” Monkey asks, confused, trying to bat Leah’s hand away from her face.

“Checking if you’re not coming down with something,” Leah responds, laughing slightly as she pulls her hand away, “Since when do you willingly give Jellycats away?”

“I’m just being nice!” Monkey insists, shrugging her shoulders, “It’s not a big deal, Buddy’s not having a great day and I thought it would cheer her up.”

“That’s really sweet of you to do something like that, Monkey,” Amanda states, kindly.

“It was,” Lia chimes in agreement.

Although Leah isn’t all that convinced, “What’re you after? If this is your way of trying to get out of being grounded after that stunt you pulled at home, think again,” She states, reminding the girl of what happened prior to your trip to America.

“It’s not I swear, I just… I thought it would cheer her up,” Monkey admits, looking sheepishly as she doesn’t know if anyone else is aware of what happened with the TV back home but she’s not about to tell anyone about it, regardless.

Leah eyes her for a moment longer before her expression softens, “Alright, I believe you. Now, how about we go and get that ice cream, huh?” She wonders.

Your own eyes light up at the mention of ice cream and you nod enthusiastically, “Ice cream!” You exclaim, clutching a hold of your new bunny, “Auntie Beth and Roo coming as well?”

“Course we are,” Beth pipes up from where she walks over to you all from the other side of the pitch with Rory in tow, “We wouldn’t miss out on the chance to get ice cream now, would we?”

“Ice cream!” Rory repeats enthusiastically, bouncing up and down on her feet, eager for the sweet treat.

Leah laughs at the enthusiasm, “Alright, ice cream it is. Before we go, we need to get changed out of our kits first,” She gestures between herself, Beth and Monkey, “We don’t want to be sitting in these sweaty clothes while we eat.”

Monkey groans playfully, clearly impatient, “Can’t we just go as we are? I want ice cream now!” She whines, dragging out the last word in complaint.

Leah chuckles at the younger girl’s impatience, shaking her head, “Come on Menace, it won’t take that long,” She reassures her, taking her by the arm and leading her back toward the changing rooms, with Beth and Rory following close behind.

You stay outside with Lia and Amanda, who keeps you entertained while you wait and it doesn’t take long before Leah, Beth, Monkey and Rory reemerge, now dressed in cooler, more comfortable outfits.

“Now we get ice cream?” You ask eagerly, practically bouncing on your toes.

“Yes, bubba, now we’ll go and get ice cream,” Leah confirms with a smile, ruffling your hair gently.

With everyone ready, the group heads off to find the nearest ice cream stand. You race ahead with Rory and Monkey, all of your excitement infectious as the adults follow behind, chatting amongst themselves.

“Ooo, I want mint chocolate chip!” Monkey calls out eagerly, practically bouncing with anticipation.

“Strawberry,” Rory chimes in, her eyes already scanning the ice cream options as you approach the stand.

Leah smiles down at you as you look at the bright menu in front of you, “How about you, bubba?” She asks, her voice gentle as she watches you contemplate the choices.

You glance at the colourful display of flavours, each one more tempting than the last, “Ummm… chocolate,” You start, then spot the bubblegum and your eyes light up, “Nuh uh, wait– I wan’ bubblegum, Mummy!”

The blonde laughs at your excitement, “Bubblegum it is then, bubba,” She says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before checking what everyone else wanted in the small group and placing the order.

“Mm, this ice cream is great,” Lia says, savouring the treat.

Amanda nods in agreement with the Swiss woman, “Are you enjoying that, sweetheart?” She chuckles as she watches you dive into your ice cream with enthusiasm and end up getting it all around your face.

“Messy bubba,” Leah teases, wiping away some of the ice cream with a napkin as her tone is filled with affection.

“This has gotta be the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted!” Monkey exclaims, eyes wide with satisfaction.

Beth laughs and nudges her slightly, “I swear you say that every time you have ice cream,” She teases as she peers down at Rory, “How is it, Roo?”

“So good, Mummy!” Rory replies with a big smile, “I like it!”

“That’s cos’ it’s the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted!” Monkey states as a matter of fact, “Can’t prove me wrong on that one!”

“Alright, menace. It is good ice cream,” Leah rolls her eyes and laughs in agreement with your favourite person, taking another bite of her own treat as she enjoys the moment with everyone around her.

It was only the beginning of preseason in America, but she is determined to make it fun for you.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[eirianerisdar]

I’m seeing mixed reactions online about Carlos to Williams and while I completely understand why a Ferrari to Williams move will hurt a little no matter what, there are many reasons that Carlos’ choice is the better one of his limited options.

1. Alpine has proven time and again they’re a logistic and corporate mess. Nevermind the car isn’t at the back of the field anymore - the team’s been hemorrhaging upper management for the last few years and a lot of people who have left them previously (Daniel, Este for example) have said the red tape is horrendous.

2. Williams is a historic and developing team. Yes. They currently still are at the lower midfield. But they’re slowly developing their factory and logistics to get back to improving the car. Carlos is far more likely to get a hand in upgrading and developing the car towards what he likes in Williams than he is elsewhere.

3. Audi seemed a lucrative option but given they’ve just fired their two most senior people and hired Mattia we see why Carlos wouldn’t touch that team with a ten-foot pole.

4. This is the only way we actually get to SEE Carlos aside from race content. Williams had the only decent social media department out of all the other options. We’ll get him and Alex rambling on team torque every week. If he went to Alpine or, worse, Audi, he’d disappear off the face of the earth.

All in all the best option for him, and the best for us because we’ll see him.

[thef155]

Note: this was posted prior to the LH->Ferrari news

I really, really hope the rumors that Carlos might have only a short-term contract extension (i.e. until the end of 2025) are true. That may be a blow to his pride, and I feel for him deeply, but breaking away from Ferrari by 2026 would be the absolute best thing for him.

If you don’t know, Carlos and Charles are both currently contracted to Ferrari until the end of 2024, and both are now currently in talks for extensions. According to La Gazetta (grain of salt required), Charles is taking a five year extension to 2029 (whyyyy Charles? why do that to yourself?). Meanwhile, Carlos has asked for a 2-year extension, but Ferrari reportedly only want to offer him 1 year for now. Carlos potentially becoming a free agent for 2026 is very significant because that's the start of the next regulations era in F1; a new formula and new rules come into play, ushering in new engines and new cars and opening up the field for new contenders. It’s also when Audi will be stepping onto the grid as they take over at Sauber (currently Alfa Romeo). Importantly, Audi have been long-rumored to be interested in Carlos as the driver they want to sign and build their new team around.

I'm not going to delve into how much Ferrari has treated Carlos like shit, because we all know that story, and none of us are actually surprised to see the team undervalue the man who keeps them afloat when all else fails and gives them their only win in a season. I don't think Ferrari ever expected Carlos to be so competitive and push il Predestinado the way he has, and now it's bit awkward for them. But the fact is that Ferrari have now gone all in on Charles with this 5-year deal, and now they have no choice but to make every other decision around that. It makes sense that they would offer just a 1-year extension if Carlos is asking for 2 years because they know a 2-year contract would be no more meaningful than a 1-year if other teams are seriously interested in Carlos. If Audi (or McLaren, if Lando leaves) really want to get Carlos for 2026, they will have no qualms about swooping in during the 2025 silly season to buy Ferrari out of Carlos’s last contract year. They know what they have with Carlos even if they aren't going to publicly recognize it, so it's in Ferrari’s best interest to keep their options open for shopping if they don’t want to risk being caught out dry in 2026.

But let’s forget all that and talk about the most interesting part of all this to me: that Carlos asked for something as short as a 2-year extension. He knows Charles is getting 5 years, so why?

This tells me that Carlos has finally begun to lose faith that Ferrari is the best place for him. That’s a pretty damn big deal, because—although this gets overshadowed by Charles’s love story with the Scuderia—Carlos’s passion for Ferrari and the Tifosi is no small thing. I think he smiled bigger on the third step of the podium at Monza than he did at Silverstone for his maiden win. Winning a WDC with Ferrari is (or was) his life’s dream.

But maybe 2023–his best year ever—is what Carlos needed to stop ignoring the writings on the wall. Maybe he’s starting to admit to himself that he’s never going to get the support (or competence) he needs from Ferrari to achieve his dreams. Maybe he's understanding that he's found success not because of Ferrari, but in spite of them.

Carlos is too good to be a No. 2 driver. We know it, Ferrari definitely knows it (and that’s their problem), and—most importantly—Carlos knows it. Ferrari can go ahead and search for someone this talented who's also willing to roll over and be their next Rubens Barrichello. Because it sure as hell won’t be Carlos Sainz, Jr.

[abbysbasement]

ABBY ‘WAR MACHINE’ ANDERSON

—short thoughts

• A honey girl, always keeps a summer tan, usually from working out on the quad all day. Practically glowing all of the time and the girls are insane about it.

• Sorry, the braid is dead. Only ever really wears it on the rugby field, and when she’s walking around campus, her hair is usually down, or up in a bun and held back with a sweatband. Whatever mental image you’re conjuring in your mind, it’s correct. Even that one.

• Her father is the country’s premier neurosurgeon, and he’s donated a lot of money to Jackson University. A library there, a faculty building there, even refurbishing the rugby field for the season. He practically gives a blank check each year, and because of this, consequences don’t really exist for Abs and she gets away with any and everything. The reason why she has an air fryer in her dorm and the RAs pretend like they don’t see it.

• Proud community strap. Was notorious freshman year for having a rotating cycle of girlfriends and side pieces. ‘Those are not healthy coping mechanisms, Abby.’ Her therapist says, but is there really any better way to ease your mind that slipping deep into a warm body, tight and soft and wet? No, probably not.

• Has the prettiest smile, smiles with her eyes, always so charming with plump, kissable lips. Has perfect teeth, never missed a dentist appointment and gets check ups religiously. Had braces in the 10th grade and when she had her first kiss with a girl she cut her lip and it bled all down her mouth. She probably fainted idk.

• Girl himbo (I know what I said.) butch himbo? Butchbo? Actually super smart and well read, majoring in animal science to become a vet tech. Spends a lot of her time in the school library, when she’s not on the field, or at a party, or in a stranger’s bed. Or in her own bed, nursing a hangover, whatever’s more common.

• Still roommates with Manny since freshman year. Originally she got set up with Leah, who then of course wanted to room with her boyfriend, who was conveniently dorming with Manny. A little form-filling here, some schmoozing there, a little ‘my dad owns this school’ over yonder and it was a match made in heaven. Nobody has a deeper, more intimate connection than a butch lesbian and her boy best friend.

• Terribly afraid of needles. She can’t pinpoint specifically what she has against them but they inspire the same nausea in her that heights do, so when she can she steers clear of them. In a turn of drunken, reckless events, Manny convinced her to get her ears pierced, because pretty girls love stud earrings, obviously. By the time the piercer did one ear, Manny had to carry her out of the parlor because she had COMPLETELY passed out.

• Between classes and practice, she forgot to clean her piercing and her ear got infected. She had two large-scale mental breakdowns; the first when she woke up leaking and burning from her ear, which had already sucked the metal halfway into the flesh, and the second, when her dumbass roommate said, “it’s okay, man. I have pliers, I can pull it out for you and then you’re good as new.” She almost threw up.

• The great piercing debacle of ‘21 ended in her calling up her dad, bawling, because she didn’t know what to do, Manny sitting on the couch listening to her freak the fuck out in the bathroom. “This is what happens when you put foreign objects into your body, Abs.” He chided, as *another* needle was plunged into her skin —local anesthetic— before he sliced open her earlobe with a scalpel.

• The proud driver of a cherry-red enclosed Jeep Wrangler, fully paid off by her dad as a highschool graduation gift, an upgrade from the white Audi she got as a 16th birthday present. She gets it rewrapped every six months —the ice blue was real popular with the ROTC girls, the olive green got the environmental club girls out of their panties, the red and black is a pretty good catch-all— (school colours, by the way!)

• Gets her car detailed once every two weeks, the back seat has those mud mats laid down. they’re not for mud.

• Retired horse girl, ALMOST got a pony for her fourteenth birthday! Then, shit happened… and she didn’t get the pony for her fourteenth birthday.

• Loves revenge and power plays, actually! It’s her specialty at this point😚 Got into some medium-tier beef with some dickhead on campus, and somehow his mouth got ahead of him and ended with her being branded as the town’s bulldyke. Interestingly enough, the day didn’t end in Anderson-typical violence. Instead, as one does, she trailed him home one day, borrowing Nora’s black sedan for recon. Just for field research, obviously!

• In the interest of honesty, Abs was definitely planning on stealing the wheels off of his car, or putting bleach in his gas tank, —sugar is a myth, just so you know— until she saw the most beautiful creature strolling out of the house and into a white SUV. Then, her plan changed for absolute scorched-earth total destruction, to an excruciating slow-burn.

• The next week, while shopping at the grocery store which she totally didn’t drive 30 minutes out of her way to go to, she had her first meet cute, coincidentally, with a gorgeous 40-something that just so happened to be some asshole’s mom.

• Before she knew it, she was fucking her on every surface in her house, —artfully furnished, great feng-shui— the kitchen, the bathroom, her marital bed, the couch, essentially the full tour, until they got to her son’s bedroom. Kept a mental note, and when she excused herself to the bathroom she probably erased all of the little shit’s PlayStation saves, too.

• When you start fucking a guy’s mom, it changes you. Your wardrobe especially. Including an arsenal of completely coincidental, just for fun slogan tees, with hits like “I ❤️ HOT MOMS!” “PROMOTED TO DADDY” and a personal favourite, “MAN, I LOVE FISHING!”

* And of course, she comes back to campus fresh off of a 3 hour stint of eating out a woman twice her age, to greet her new best friend with a smile and a, “Hey, your mom makes a good apple fritter! Dessert was fuckin’ greaaat, too! Practically finger lickin’ :)”

* CEO of revenge, comedically evil.

[mylordshesacactus]

I got to do some like, legit atmospheric horror work a month or so back.

The party, after ditching the giant dragon turtle, was making their way through the forest in search of a small village they’d seen from its back--the only sign of civilization. Their unicorn friend Albion had dropped them in a region of the faewild he said contained a trusted ally--but no one had come to find them, and they need to get moving, so the village is as good a place to start as any.

Along the way they ran into a pair of charming rabbitfolk brothers named Brush and Briar, struggling on the side of the road to right a partially-smashed cart. After cautious, exact-words exchanges in which Max the bard did some serious work to make the party appear nonthreatening and avoid accidentally imposing a debt, the brothers explained that they were from the nearby village of Little Ivywood, and they’d been attacked by bandits on the road and nearly lost all their worldly possessions because the bandits accused them of “betraying their queen”. They explain that Little Ivywood surely has some pro-mortal sentiments, but that certainly neither of them have betrayed any queens!

The party, who were headed that way anyway, of course take the brothers under their wing and help them get their cart back to the village. Along the way they chat about the faewild, about the bandit problem (bandits are described as “bestial” and there are claw marks on the cart), about how about 20% of their carrots “bite back” and it’s very offputting, dontchaknow, but such eternal suffering does seem to be somethin’ of our people’s lot in life.

So they pass several pleasant hours before coming up on the village of Little Ivywood.

The............very....very. Quiet. Village of Little Ivywood.

Max and Andromeda are the first to see the bodies in the fields.

The party puts Brush and Briar behind them and--in a moment that made me the DM ache over how recently they were a ragtag bunch of misfits half of whom had never taken a life before--do a VERY professional check-and-clear sweep of the village. It’s...bad. If there are survivors, they’re nowhere near.

The wounds are grisly, and the attack was...thorough. Nimbus the ranger finds the marks of boots and cloven hooves in the dirt, but is having trouble checking trailsign--he grew up in a village just like this. While checking houses, Audie the wizard finds a cellar door thrown open with the bloody body of one rabbit dead on the floor outside it, and a rug thrown aside under the trapdoor--someone who gave his life to hide his family, only to have them die anyway.

Andromeda, the aarakocra paladin, stays in the air on overwatch. While checking the perimeter, she sees a glimmer in the treeline and drops down to check--expecting to find enemy scouts coming back for stragglers, or perhaps an injured survivor taking shelter in the hedgerow, and finds--

Snares.

Iron running snares, set in between rows of crops, paths in the hedgerows, along gaps in the underbrush. A cruel, condescending kind of joke--the kind of perimeter you set up when you intend for no one, not a single living rabbitfolk, to escape the slaughter. 

With no small amount of guilt, the party takes what they can from the homes--they haven’t been looted, this wasn’t a bandit raid. And then--something moves.

The trio of liondrakes emerges all spite and fury; held at bay by the heavily-armed party but hissing insults, calling Brush and Briar traitors, demanding to know why the party would defend them, swearing to kill them all in the name of their queen or die trying. And something--doesn’t add up. The liondrakes scoff at the idea of serving the Courts--it was the Summer Court, they say, who killed these people, and their own queen, the Queen of the Wilds, who tried to save them. They say, again, that the party is harboring traitors, and...

and it’s Nim who makes the 20+ insight check.

Brush and Briar lived in Little Ivywood. They were farmers, not merchants. So, on the night their families and neighbors were slaughtered by the Summer Court...

What were they doing in the middle of the woods with all of their worldly possessions?

[mecachrome]

https://x.com/ThisIsFormu1a1/status/1812000331460747414

And this is coming from someone who babysits Lando every time, even if Lando makes a mistake XDDDDDDDDDD I think it would be better for Oscar if he found another team

hey anon!

i like jenson and consider him a good pundit but sometimes he just has bad takes and doesn't know things and that's not a reflection of his relationship to lando, lol, simply him being a know-it-all who is wrong from time to time. also understand that there's a difference between explanation and accountability; objectively oscar "should" have left space to make the double stack easier, but actual accountability goes to the team for not foreseeing this and better managing the gap (or better yet pitting oscar a lap before, since if they were so indecisive about the changing conditions they could have used the car behind on track to try something relatively riskier, seeing as red bull was willing to take the plunge with max; the problem is that as a team used to being in the upper midfield, mclaren still subscribe too much to a conservative risk management mindset and their reactive blunders are what's killing them. under key this was also their problem with development and upgrade timelines and is the first thing that andrea fixed, but it's clear there are growing pains and areas in need of rehabilitation across different parts of the organization. but that's just a Corporate Reality 🤷‍♀️). of course it's stupid for anyone to insist that this was oscar's fault at all but it is what it is tbh

again i feel like there's no use in entertaining ~mistreatment~ clickbait narratives so apologies for your other ask hlksdfh but re: finding another team... i think if a few mclaren fans followed other teams they'd have a bit of a reality check about what makes a good working environment, haha. mclaren's incompetence is from their growing pains, yes, and it is still pure incompetence, no excuses, but there's a scale of Bullshittery every organization falls onto just as in real normal-people life that i think oscar and his team are capable of evaluating as much as anyone else is. assuming new regs aren't delayed, there's still one more year of convergence left before the field is essentially reset, so oscar and mclaren have another season together of optimizing how a competitive team is meant to operate. also i'm not going to pretend that newey isn't a genius, but really there's no guarantee that he'll impact design from 2026 onward to the same degree he did in the onset of the ground effect era, so on top of the advantage being less pronounced now that teams have accrued so much more experience with it it also won't necessarily matter That Much which team he chooses to go to.

so really at the moment alpine, williams, audi, haas, am, and vcarb (6/10 teams) aren't even worth the consideration; ferrari have 1644 and have put a LOT of effort into bea, i mean the fda is mostly a farce and he was their only serious junior back in 2022... still is now in most categories lol. plus is ferrari even any more convincing of an environment than mclaren? both have shit strategy but one is less beholden to its own myth and hasn't regressed with any of its upgrades for the past 2 seasons. merc is on the up currently but is in a similar position in terms of their kimi buy-in, and then... with red bull there's no guarantee they'll even be dominant with the new regs, and either way is that really a place where you think oscar would thrive more than he currently is? it's nice to say that drivers should be willing to take risks and go somewhere more competitive, but this can also easily backfire on them and you have to objectively consider the options and whether there's even anywhere to GO that will offer them that. looking at carlos's current silly-season woes it's clear that it's a tough environment to find an optimal seat + contract in atm.

sorry for this long explanation but anon i truly think oscar will be just fine... he's p5 in the championship in only his 2nd year and is the sole driver to have completed every lap and still has a perfect q3 appearance rate and scored points in every race weekend so far. yes there have been frustrating losses despite the consistency but in the same vein that tyre management is something that can't be fully simulated and instead requires real experience to properly hone, top teams need to be put in these situations to fafo/learn from. it'll be okay!

[nonpracticingintellectual]

Formula 1 2026 Engine Regulation Changes - TEXT BLOCK

I wrote up this explanation of each of the engine regulation changes for my WIFE and it's good enough I wanted to share it here.

Formula 1 2026 Engine Regulation Changes:

1: **New fuel must be 100% carbon free fuel, part of the FIA's plan for "net zero carbon" F1 racing by 2030.** ARAMCO is leading the research into the new carbon-neutral fuel. The goal is to be able to reuse municipal waste, food waste, or even gas pulled from the atmosphere to fuel cars. As of now it's being tested only in Formula racing, but the goal is to slowly release this fuel for road use as well across the world. Right now the F1 cars run on E10 (90% gasoline, 10% renewable ethanol). F1 and the FIA are the best people to lead this project because they know that full electric cars are not attainable for most people in the world and so replacing fuel with a carbon-neutral fuel (carbon is pulled from the environment to make the fuel, and the same amount is emitted by the engine. This essentially maintains the carbon equilibrium.) Formula 2 and Formula 3 are already running on a fuel mix comprised with 55% of this new biofuel. F1 is really driving sustainable practices. They are the first motorsport to use FSC (Forest Sustainability Council) certified tires, McLaren is releasing their new carbon fiber recycling (first industrial scale use), all of F1's DHL delivery trucks for European races run on 100% biofuel as of last year, all 10 teams have received the FIA's 3-star environmental accreditation.

2: **Increased electric power in the cars** - as of right now its 75% engine/25% electric power. The goal is 50%/50% by increasing the MGU-K unit from 120 kW to a 350 kW generator - this is what Verstappen is worried about as there isn’t an equivalent increase in battery size meaning the current ~30 second max boost from the electric motors will be reduced to ~10 seconds with the larger motor and same battery size. Drivers will have to downshift during straights to charge the battery more often, hopefully leading to closer racing as people won’t be able to just fly off using the electric motors.

3: **No more MGU-H** (this will help people like Stake or other small teams) - this was primarily driven by the fact that we have 2 new engine producers in 2026: Audi and Honda are joining the field and will need time to develop engines to catch up with teams like Ferrari and Red Bull. The issue is the MGU-H almost completely solved turbo lag (if you notice in your car, the turbo doesnt spool up until a certain RPM, the MGU-H spools the turbo from the time of acceleration, allowing for all waste exhaust to be used for charging the battery instead of wasting some spooling the turbo). This may lead to the return of Schumacher level throttle control to keep the turbo spooled during cornering. It’s going to be a learning curve for the racers who have only ever raced with an anti-lag system like the MGU-H.

4: **Reduced fuel allowance** - cars burn through around 100 kg of fuel per race, in 2026 this will be limited to 70 kg. The new engines ARE more efficient so it should equal out to the same power for less fuel.

The FIA is also pushing teams towards focusing less on raw engine power and more on aerodynamics and drag reduction to improve engine efficiency. Essentially, this is a test bed for the future of all high end racing by developing incredibly efficient powerful engines with a smaller form factor and better

[niniluvsainz]

anyways i just posted my first george fic, but i wanted to talk about some “news” i’ve seen recently in the f1 community.

checo pérez quite literally has his seat threatened if he doesn’t perform by summer break? like, firstly redbull renews him for the next two seasons, but now they’re saying if he doesn’t perform this season he’s gonna be dropped? also, saying you renewed him just for confidence? christian horner i will hunt you down. and who is in talks to replace him… daniel ricciardo. moving on to daniel ricciardo.

daniel is also not performing what he should. given, yeah he’s in the shitbox. but he is also in news of “risking his seat for next season” but they’re gonna promote him to redbull? where’s the logic in that. he’s underperforming in a mid-field car, how is that helpful for him to be upgraded to one of the best cars on the grid. if i want someone to replace checo, it’s gonna be liam lawson. until the death, i will wish for liam lawson in that redbull seat.

next, ollie bearman to haas. ever since i knew ollie existed in the f1 world, i have been a fan. i’m not a big watcher of f2, but i’ve seen his stats. and saudi arabia? that was a mighty performance he gave! he absolutely deserves the seat next year, and i can’t wait to see him race in f1.

paul 👏🏼 aron 👏🏼 deserves 👏🏼 an 👏🏼 f1 👏🏼 seat 👏🏼!!! the man who is LEADING the f2 championship WITHOUT A WIN, who is leading based on pure CONSISTENCY, does not have a formula one seat for next year and this is an absolute crime!!!! (kimi antonelli hate incoming, cover ur eyes if you don’t wanna read this) paul aron deserves a seat much more than kimi.

KIMI ANTONELLI, MAN OF THE MERCEDES HOUR. needs more experience to be in f1. toto rushed the poor child. you pull him from f4 all the way to f2. you wanted him to be moved to f1 to replace logan, so he wouldn’t even have finished his f2 season. would’ve been from f4 to f1. is the man crazy?

lastly, carlos mf sainz. there’s rumors he’s holding on to signing because he’s also “replacing” checo, that versainz ship has sailed long gone. and as the biggest self-titled versainz 2025 truther before my dreams were crushed, i can come to terms that carlos will not be waiting for horner to drop checo mid-season. HOWEVER, i want carlos in that mercedes. goodbye williams, sauber, and alpine. give me carlos in mercedes 2025. see, listen to my mind logic. carlos to mercedes for two years, 2025 and 2026. 2026 will be the year audi comes in. carlos can see how audi performs, and if they have the potential carlos seeks carlos can move to audi. and once carlos’ 2-year contract ends, i can see kimi coming in to take the mercedes seat.

also did y’all see that whack ass movie trailer for f1? couldn’t come up with a better title. it’s just, f1. i love twitter, because they’re making pages about the movie’s team, such as the actual team twitter accounts, the drivers (team joshua or sonny? i’m team joshua), they even had nyck de vries on the team and he was also dismissed, gossip pages, it’s all over the place. it’s the best thing to come out of f1twt.

thank you for reading my rant 🫶🏼 it was nice to leave twitter for a bit and log in here.

[cosmica-galaxy]

FSR Headcanons with Audi and Tricky

--

AUDITOR

--

+ The auditor is easily fascinated with the large foreign being from "the outside realms" of Nevada. The chances of a creature actually breaching into Nevada is so slim, it's practically non-existent. So to have such an opportunity to study a being from the outer realms is a privilege in itself.

+ The first contact goes well and the Auditor finds himself growing more and more curious as the studies of the being start to come through. Revealing their complex inner mechanisms and their general make-up to be similar to his own master in a way, just much more streamlined and organic.

+ Since the being isn't hostile, his agents and numerous units can work around the being effectively and study it without risk of losing all of his crew. Color him surprised when the being even COOPERATES and tolerates scientists and agents crawling all over them.

+ When the testing begins, his interest only deepens. With granted permission from FSR, they decided to test out their weapons on the being. The shocking results revealed that not even BULLETS or MISSILES can damage it. They simply bounce off and FSR gives the assaulter nothing more than an annoyed look. Sharp weapons were even ineffective, since FSR was covered in thick armor. The only weapons that they discovered that can hurt FSR, using small reasonable doses, were more along the lines of Nexus Core weapons. Dissonance and lasers have a much stronger effect and FSR was recorded even wincing when the small dosage was used.

+ Field testing came later on once FSR was actually moved to a more appropriate holding cell. The Auditor took in everything he could, almost as if he was eager to obtain such forbidden knowledge about those that dwelled on the outside. The field tests were even much more intriguing than simple studies. FSR enthralled him with their ability to pick up massive vehicles, an active demonstration of their arm cannon (That morphed in from their own digits!), and the ability to fly at speeds over 200 MPH.

+ The Auditor was EASILY convinced that FSR would serve his purpose greatly, possibly becoming the most strongest unit in his army if they joined, but he can see the hesitance of the being. They're nervous...or just simply unconvinced. He NEEDS them to join his side and he'll do anything he can to make sure that recruitment is the definite result.

--

TRICKY

--

+ Tricky is a maniac and the moment he finds a larger, possibly stronger enemy, roaming the desert all by themselves, he pounces on them. Much to his surprise, and both parties frustration, his attacks simply can't break through the armor that covers the body of his enemy. Even prodding the cracks in the chassis didn't pop any of them off!

+ FSR is easily annoyed by Tricky's antics and swats him off repeatedly. But Tricky always bounces back and tries again and again. To the point where the larger being hovers in the air to get away from his attempts at attacking them. Of course, Tricky screams out "NO FAIR" when this happens.

+ It's almost hilarious at what transpires after that. Tricky's enemy will ALWAYS be Hank Wimbleton, but this tall foreign creature is just so intriguing to the clown zed that once it begins to head off somewhere else, Tricky finds himself compelled to follow it. It has no set destination, that becomes apparent, but Tricky is never too far behind when it decides to settle down for a rest. Pouncing on FSR and merely irritating them for hours on end as they try to get some sleep.

+ Tricky also comes to notice how FSR is annoyed by other factions. Be it the AAHW, Nexus Core, Fanatics, Zeds, and whatever else happens to be crawling around in Nevada. Still, it confuses Tricky to no end at why they just simply won't kill whatever is annoying them. Even him! They never choose violence and just simply stare at the aggressor in annoyance before pushing them away or knocking them over. Yet none of their enemies come to harm.

+ Tricky quickly finds out that FSR is practically nomadic and travels by air most of the time. He's even lost them a couple of times, but he will eventually find them again if he looks hard enough. Soon enough, the creature pretty much tolerates his antics and bothersome presence enough that they won't just fly away whenever he irritates them enough. They just simply lay there while he chews on their armor or breaks his stop sign against their hull. All while they stare at him in indifference.

+ What really confused Tricky, was the day when he finally caught up to them after another long pursuit, and they gave him a series of gentle pats instead of brushing him off like usual. It stunned Tricky into a frozen state. Then from that moment forward, Tricky found himself following them around and even clinging onto them when they began to move from one place to another. They even seem to grow fond of his presence as well. Taking him with them across Nevada without a care.

[charles-leclerc-official]

RB thoughts! I don't deny that SP11 is doing well! It's just that if RB wants to win the WCC they can't expect for Max to carry the whole team on his shoulders! One off weekend and the gap went from 60ish points iirc to 24 points. 24 points is almost nothing to flip if we consider we're a third of the way through the season. On the topic of possible teammates for Max there are quite a few options, but few viable ones. SP11 staying is the most probable because he's a known quantity. NH27 would've been an option before he signed with Audi. Looking at who other could have been an option, they're not viable for a plethora of reasons: AA23 & PP10 were cut off from the team, DR3, LS2, VB77, ZG24 & KM20 are not actually better than SP11, EO31 & CS55 have historically clashed with Max and they won't absolutely tap in YT22 because he's a Honda academy graduate and Honda is moving to AM for 2026. Their reluctance to put LL in that AT seat for 2023 or 2024 will cost them dearly. I can't see any other candidates for that RB seat in the near future, so RB effectively screwed themselves over with the musical chairs they were doing up until 2020. I feel like this whole situation is a clash between managements of RB and AT, which has in turn led to a Gordian knot of a situation. (DR3 in that AT seat is the sticking point for me, because if they wanted him for PR, he was already theirs as the reserve driver and there was absolutely no need to put him in a F1 seat full time). I feel like H*rner and RB in general have been mismanaging drivers since the inception of the team, and I can't see it getting any better, sadly. For as much as Ferrari is known for not treating their drivers well, it's still better than how RB treats theirs, I feel.

I agree with you on Checo, he's a good driver, but his results are likely not going to be strong enough to secure the constructor's(we'll have to see that could change) And next year the constructor's is going to be more up in the air I think. So do they stay with the known quantity or take a risk on someone new? I seems they aren't taking that risk and it will likely be what costs them the WCC(not that someone new would come in and make that happen either but it might be worth trying)

This is actually a very good summary of things and the likely trajectory of the team in terms of talent recruitment. Very nicely put anon.

And yes, the reason the team has artificially looked stronger than they are is because of Max. I don't know how he's still standing from carrying that team both on and off the track. Max being good has made Horner look more competent at talent management than he is.

Like people look at VCARB and we don't really know what they are doing. They are there, racing, they are connected to Red Bull, but why? What is the goal? Apparently to develop young talent for other teams to eventually take. Whatever team gets Yuki is going to be very lucky.

And Ferrari gets a far worse reputation than they really have. Most drivers still say very good things about Ferrari in spite of the brutal environment. Then you have Alex who is out there openly saying how bad Red Bull was to him. And some of it comes down to the environment at the front of the field being brutal no matter which team you are in.

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

aftermath 3

A dark blue, fish-eyed globe turns itself across the screen, starting in Canada and traveling eastwards around the world. Five words flash over the globe: TOTAL - TAKES - WORLD - TOUR - AFTERMATH!

A static flash to Fiji, at the beach: 

---

Ass looks back to the other teams, all waiting in anticipation. Chris rubs his hands together, chuckling to himself as if he’s been waiting for this. 

“Albert and Michela never kissed. Mal lied to… well… to cover for us,” Ass says. “Courtney and I are the ones who kissed.”

Max’s expression drops. Michela sighs a breath of relief. 

Julia turns red. 

“YOU… YOU WHAT?”

---

Then to in the plane, on the way to Sweden:

---

Max trails off again, and sighs. “I feel like if this doesn’t work out, nothing ever will,”

Kelly’s smile droops a bit and they turn away from Max. 

---

The Title Card flashes again and fades into a pink, warm-lit studio. The peanut gallery is crowded now as former contestant upon contestant squeezes into the narrow rows. Patrick steps onto the platform and forces himself a seat between Alistair and O, elbowing them both out of the way to make room. Scruffy smiles as the camera settles on them, though they don’t look entirely happy. Peter waves both hands merrily. 

In the other corner of the room, Joner, McLovin, and Sha-Mod are crowded around an amplifier, each holding a different colored plug as they scratch their chins and flip coins to see what goes where. 

Finally, the lights dim. The audience chatter dies, blowing out like a candle. McLovin shoves a red plug into a blue socket and electrocutes himself, then lies flat on the ground as a single spotlight hovers over the center of the stage. 

Then… 

Nothing. 

The audience waits for a little longer. The peanut gallery begins to exchange confused glances. Joner and Sha-Mod poke McLovin’s unconscious form until even he stirs. 

A harsh whisper comes from backstage. “I don’t want to,”

“Well, I’m busy!”

“I’m busier!”

Finally, the sound of dull footsteps echoes across the dead-silent stage. Noco- shoulders slumped and eyes focused on his feet- trudges into the spotlight. He sighs dramatically as he pulls out a cue card and reads off it in a voice so monotone it sucks every ounce of charisma from everyone else on stage. 

“Welcome. To the Total Takes Aftermath. I’m your no-co-host, Noco. Today we have a very special episode. So get ready for mayhem. Drama. And more drama,”

He sighs and tosses the cue card aside. The audience responds with scattered applause- though before Noco can say anything to sour the already rotten entrance, Caesar slides in. 

“Thank you for your patience, everyone! We’re a little behind schedule today, but don’t worry- we’ve got an action-packed episode,” he winks. “Unfortunately, due to… a scheduling mishap,” 

He pauses to glare sharply at Noco. 

“Your would-be old-new co-host, Bonnie, has been sent out on the field! They’re traveling from continent to continent, interviewing Total Takes superfans!” Caesar says. His eye twitches. “Stay tuned for our first superfan, who is inexplicably Noco-Obsessed! Somehow!”

The peanut gallery seems to let out a collective groan. 

“Didn’t you take that blonde bimbo out last episode? What happened to her?” Scary snaps. “Darwin help me, you romantics must have some kind of brain damage...”

Noco shrugs. “The date went fine. I picked her up, we went to a fancy restaurant, and then I talked to her about my theories for two hours. She hasn’t called back,”

“Unbelievable.” Scary says, completely monotone. 

“ANYWAY! The schedule,” Caesar says, tapping his watch. His smile is as bright as always, but he seems far more jittery today. He leans in to mutter to Noco. “Remember that your little stunt has prevented me from even one conversation with Bonnie since they came back. You are on thin ice!”

Noco rolls his eyes. “What? I don’t like travel. I didn’t want to do it,”

Caesar looks like he’s about to wring his neck, but quickly straightens his posture and turns back to the audience as the overhead monitor lowers. “Now, let’s check in with Bonnie in… somewhere in the desert, USA?”

A loud static screech jolts the peanut gallery, forcing everyone to cover their ears as the monitor hums itself to life. The image finally settles in on the beloved goth, shielding their eyes from a cloud of dust whipping around them. Nothing besides Bonnie against the grayish-brown backdrop of sand is visible. 

“H-hello? Can you hear me in there?” they shout into the microphone in their hand. 

Caesar runs before the monitor, shouting as if they’re separated by a pane of glass. “BONBON! Are you okay!? Where are you?”

“Hell- I mean, California!” they shout back. “Who is that?”

“It’s me, Caesar! I’m so sorry about the scheduling conflict, if I had known-”

“BOOO! Get on with it!” Noco says, kicking back on the couch. He sets his feet on the table. Caesar’s eye twitches again. 

“Alright… yeah, okay!” Bonnie shouts. “I’m here with, uh… um… What was your name again?”

The camera zooms out to an annoyed-looking teenage girl in khaki shorts and Tevas. She scoffs. “It’s Anna, interview-person-thing”

Bonnie grits their teeth and points at her. “Listen, you hippie-wannabe, I didn’t sign up for this, I’m not a people person, and if mauling you with my bare hands is what it would take to get back to the studio and see my best friend again for the first time in weeks, I would gladly do so. You do not get to push me around!”

“Wow,” Noco clicks his tongue. “Ruler of boundaries over here, huh?”

Caesar shoots him a glare. Back on the screen, Anna looks sheet-white. Bonnie sighs, mumbles an indistinct “Sorry” and then clears their throat. “Okay, so… You’re a Noco fan, huh? What’d you hit your head on?”

Noco glares at the screen while Caesar chuckles. The teenage girl on screen looks more than displeased. “He’s a hell of a lot better than you phonies. Noco keeps it real,”

Bonnie rolls their eyes as Noco cheers and snaps his fingers. “She gets it,”

“I like, like Total Takes, or whatever, but the drama is so fake! And I like, totally value honesty and genuineness,” she goes on. “I mean, let’s be real, these plot points- it’s like they were written in a drama show. Like, the ships? Totally rushed! The hate is so contrived! When Noco started pointing out the inconsistencies, I listened. As president of the Noco Fan Club in the Pursuit of Truth, I say Chris McLean RELEASE THE RECORDS!”

Bonnie grits their teeth while Noco claps in the studio again. “Again, nothing on Total Takes is staged,” they sigh, massaging their temples. “What the hell happened while I was on World Tour?”

Caesar shakes his head. “So much, Bonbon. I wish I could catch you up, but-” 

The dust storm suddenly picks up and the two scream right before the screen fizzles out. 

“Bonnie? BONNIE?”

Noco pops a stick of gum in his mouth and slouches on the sofa again while Caesar runs around the room, trying to get a better connection by pulling at cables and shouting at interns. He runs back in view of the camera, looking disheveled. “We’ll be right back!”

---

The studio fades back into view, scattered applause following. A silence hangs over the room for a moment before Noco sighs dramatically, sitting up and spitting his gum onto the floor. 

“Welcome back. I’m your substitute host. Or whatever. I think Caesar’s on the roof, waving around the antenna to get a better connection. But while I’m here…” he stands, walking back and forth on the stage. “Let’s talk about my theories.”

“Do we have to?” Scary mumbles. 

Patrick nods. “Yes, I’m with the freak. I’m tired of listening to you prattle on,”

“You’re just scared of the truth!” Noco hisses, pointing at the peanut gallery with pure malice. “I have proof!”

A sudden scoff from backstage. The peanut gallery turns to the source of the intrusion as a brunette in a bow walks into the spotlight, rolling their eyes. The audience cheers and they wave. 

Noco says nothing for a long moment, his arms crossed and gaze pointed in no particular direction. Then, finally, he mumbles. “Staci, everyone,”

The crowd cheers again, and the aforementioned takes a seat on one of the plush chairs adjacent to the couch. “Hi, everyone! It’s so great being back!”

Another round of applause. Noco rolls his eyes. 

“Sorry for the intrusion, but I just couldn’t help myself,” Staci says, gesturing towards Noco. “I read the evidence binder you left on the coffee table backstage, and I’ve gotta say- as an aspiring PhD student, that’s some sloppy work.”

Noco raises an eyebrow. “Sloppy? Please. I could put your whole life on blast without even trying,”

“That’s the problem! None of your research is academic, or even investigative, like someone would expect from a journalist making such a big deal. It’s “gotcha” journalism at best, and at worst… pure speculation with some unreliable sources. You know that eyewitness testimony is the lowest form of evidence in any field of science, right?” Staci goes on. 

Scary snaps their fingers from across the room. Alistair shouts “Gettem!” and Patrick rolls his eyes. 

“The majority of your “findings” are based on internet theories- and yes, I source-checked- and testimonies from former employees. As someone who was on Total Takes, I can say that none of the interns are reliable sources. Memory is fickle, and going through trauma- like all of us have on TT- can totes skew perception and behavior,” she pauses to smile. “I started a psych class last week. It’s really helping me understand people.”

The peanut gallery claps again, and Noco’s eyes lower. 

“You know nothing. You’re like the rest of them- plants!” he snaps. “I’m a journalist!”

Staci scoffs again. “You’re a gossip columnist at best. Stalking someone’s social media isn’t “gathering evidence” it’s being a teenager,” 

“And it’s immature- and rude!” Peter shouts from the audience. Staci nods. 

Noco grits his teeth. “As if I’d trust any of you. Chris is paying you to keep quiet. All of you! My fans know!”

“Ahem- as an engineer, as well as an expert in friendship and romance, I’m pretty sure those girls just think you’re cute,” Staci crosses their arms. She looks thoroughly unamused. “You can go ahead and dig up whatever dirt you want on me- I’m a clean record. My blogs are all public access!”

Noco growls, standing up to shout before Caesar jogs back in the room, covered in wires and holding an antenna. “Back!”

The peanut gallery breathes a collective sigh of relief as their usual host tries to untangle the web of cords he’d cocooned himself in. “We, uh- had a little trouble with the connection, but I called some guys to check it out. Where are we?”

“Nowhere, really,” Scary grumbles. 

Caesar’s eyes turn to Staci. “Stace! Got your segment done already?”

She shrugs. “Kind of. Ass is still backstage, though,”

“Perfect, someone bring them out. We’ve got a very special treat for you all today- welcome to our second-ever Second Chance Challenge!” Caesar says, pacing the stage quickly. “By popular audience demand, five former contestants will be competing right here, right now, for a chance to get back on that plane!”

The peanut gallery turns to each other as the audience ooh’s. 

“No way,” a voice says from behind the benches. Ass walks back on stage, arms crossed. “No one in their right minds would get back on that death trap!”

“Not even for a million dollars?” O asks, eyes wide. 

“Not even for romance?” Peter says. “You and Courtney-”

“Courtney is perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. They’re not stupid,” Ass says. “Besides, I had my moment. Let someone else take my place on death row.”

Caesar shrugs. “Fair enough. Now-”

A sudden ringing interrupts him and an intern rushes in with a phone. Caesar flips it open to listen to an indistinct voice on the other line. He nods along before suddenly going pale. “Grounded? What do you mean, grounded?”

The voice says something else and then the line goes cold. Caesar tries to put on a smile, but to no avail. “Haha… looks like Bonnie’s plane is experiencing some technical issues… and they’re stuck there for the time being! Hahahaha. Isn’t this great?”

“Mmm… I love my cell reception!” Noco says merrily, holding up his phone like a holy artifact. Caesar looks like he’s about to kill him as Ass steps into frame and leans in to whisper. 

“Hey, Loverboy. I don’t wanna dig myself a grave in your personal biz, but before I left, Mal was blabbering something about one of the upcoming challenges being in the southwest U.S.. She’s a nutcase, but she’s good at predicting that crap,” they mumble. “Just saying.”

Caesar thinks for a moment, and then nods. He turns to face the audience. “And we’ll be right back- I’ll be right back, I mean. In the meantime, your co-host Noco will explain the rules of the game.”

“Game?” Alistair asks from the peanut gallery.

They turn to Noco expectedly as Caesar hurries off stage, pulling the Takes Three Trio with him. The sullen boy stares for a moment, and then sighs. 

“We’ll be distributing these lame cans of peanuts. Some of them have a ticket back on that flying death trap. Blah, blah,”

“Let me guess- this is staged, too?” Scary says, rolling their eyes. 

Noco sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Unfortunately, this one is real. I packed the peanuts myself,”

The peanut gallery cheers as a few interns distribute the goods. Scruffy and Staci clink their cans together, Scary tosses hers to the side and returns to her chemistry book, and O, Peter, and Alistair hold hands around theirs to manifest good luck. 

“And one for Mr. Deep Blue Sea,” Noco sighs, tossing a can aside for Caesar. “This is dumb.”

The first cans open- O, Peter, and Scruffy sulk as they dump out their cans of regular old peanuts. Patrick growls in frustration (not in the metaphorical sense- he actually growls like a dog) and attempts to crush the tin can in his fist. After trying two or three times to make a dent, he chucks it across the room, nailing McLovin in the head as the Trio returns from backstage. 

He storms over to Noco. “I demand a new can,” 

“No can do,” Noco says, chuckling to himself before his expression turns sharp again. “All sales are final.”

“Listen here, you miserable little emo-”

Scary rolls their eyes. “Stop whining. You can have mine,” they kick their can over to him, and he nabs it with a victorious smile. 

“Nerd,” he says to Noco as he tears open the can lid. A tiny, spring-loaded solid-gold Chris head pops out and punches his eye. 

Ass pops a peanut in their mouth, watching as a Chris head jumps out of Staci’s can. She squeals. Alistair claps behind her as another shining golden host appears. 

Caesar looks from side to side, cautiously surveying the stage as if he might be attacked as he clutches the can in his hand. He peels back the lid with a loud scrape, and… nothing. “Dammit,” he mutters. 

“Hey, don’t worry, bud!” Joner says, holding his own Chris-infested can. Behind him, Sha-Mod and McLovin struggle to peel back the top on the latter’s peanuts. “If I get back on, I’ll get Bonnie for you!”

He sighs. “Thank you, Joner, but... I hope you don’t take offense to this, but I don’t have a lot of faith in you boys,”

“None taken!” Joner grins as the two other members of their trio open their can behind them, unleashing the spring-loaded Chris directly on McLovin’s chest, sending him flying backwards. 

“And that’s our five,” Noco says, rolling his eyes. 

Patrick walks up to the center of the stage with swagger, not unlike a peacock. Staci and Alistair follow, while Joner helps drag McLovin alongside them.

Caesar surveys the lineup and sulks, his shoulders slumping. Another intern appears, waving a phone out to him, which he begrudgingly takes. “Hello? OH! We’ve got a connection, someone lower the monitor!”

The large TV screen comes down with a mechanical whir, and flickers to life. Bonnie is standing in the middle of a sandstorm, shielding their eyes while coughing. “C-Caesar?”

“Talk about a mouthful,” Noco comments, standing.  

Alistair scowls at him. “Is this really the time for your twisted sense of humor?”

The audio blips in and out as they speak. Caesar runs up to the screen, putting his hand on it as if it were a pane of glass. “Bonnie, can you hear me?”

“I can-”

The monitor suddenly falls dead, a black screen replacing Bonnie’s shuddering form. Caesar’s pupils shrink and he stares in disbelief as Noco walks back on stage, holding a plug. 

“What? We have a schedule to keep, don’t we?”

Caesar’s eye twitches again. The five selected players, standing off to the side now, shake their heads in disapproval. 

Staci crosses their arms. “Is it your job to make everyone miserable?”

“Uh, duh? I’m not called Noco for nothing,”

A distant-sounding voice comes alongside them. “You know what?” Caesar says. “He’s right.”

“Caesar, you don’t have to-” Staci starts, but he holds a finger to his lips to shush them. 

“We’re keeping a schedule. Takes Three Trio- myself- we’ve prepared a special little song for Noco, to express our gratitude,” he smiles. “It’s all water under the bridge now.”

Noco raises an eyebrow, suspicious. Joner and McLovin salute, and Sha-Mod runs up between them, and all three of them pull various instruments from behind their backs. 

Caesar adjusts his bowtie, looking rather calm, and then taps his microphone. “Hit it!”

The Takes Three Trio starts up a jolly jig as the host clears his throat. “Here’s an open letter to a treasure of a guy!”

Noco nods along. “Uh-Huh,”

“Whose behavior on this show always makes us sigh,”

“Hm?”

“He’s a nasty, lying schemer, who calls himself “your host!” Without the help of social media, his job would be toast!”

Noco opens his mouth to say something back, but every member of the peanut gallery delivers a quick “Hush!”

“He’ll call himself a journalist, but he failed his English class! He’s just so full of you-know-what, he has to double wipe his-”

“HEY!” Noco snaps. Caesar brushes him off. 

“He started his own rumor show, under Blaineley and Josh’s nose, and when they found out he was fired and sent down here to host!” 

Caesar points directly in his face. “He’s not the guy you think he is, so don’t drive yourself loco. He plagiarizes all his work, and his real name isn’t Noco!”

“He’s a phony, scheming, wannabe-host, and his real name isn’t Noco! He steals and lies, he’s evil, folks, and his real name isn’t Noco!”

Caesar stops between the Takes Three Trio and they shout the last line together. “It’s Isaac!”

Noco crosses his arms, glaring. He has nothing to say for a few moments, before finally clearing his throat. “You couldn’t come up with anything better? I-”

“Meep! Meep!” Caesar holds out his hand, folded to resemble a mouth. 

Noco stares in silence for a few minutes. “Lies, and-”

“Meep! Meep!” the host flaps open the hand-mouth, cutting him off. 

“Really? This is so immature. You’re-”

“Meep! Meep! Meep! Now, let’s get on with the show,” Caesar says, straightening his tie again. “Time for our Second Chance Challenge! One out of five of these players is about to play for another chance at the million! Staci, Alistair, Joner, McLovin, and Patrick- are you guys ready?”

No response. Caesar goes on anyway. “Time for Total Takes; The Board Game! Each of these squares in front of you represents one of our final contestants. Each has their own personalized challenge, depending on who you land on.” He tosses Staci a large foam die. 

“Fail, and you’re out! Once you’re off the board, I’ll be asking you your final question. Whoever gets this query right gets a one-way ticket back to Total Takes. Ready?”

Everyone shakes their heads- except for McLovin and Joner, who high-five. “Looks like Staci is up first,”

Staci bounces the die in her hands for a moment before tossing it across the board. It lands on five, and she claps excitedly and runs across the spaces, standing on a tile decorated with Julia’s face. 

“The Julia challenge- safe pick!” Caesar says. A table with a computer on it drops from the ceiling. “You’ve got two minutes to hack into this government website. Time!”

Staci stares as Caesar clicks his watch. “But I-”

“C’mon, Stace! You’re an engineer!” Alistair shouts from the other end of the board. 

“Civil engineer, not software!” they cry back. They hurriedly type on the computer, but to no avail. As Caesar’s watch rings, they grunt in frustration. 

“A valiant effort. Patrick?”

Staci kicks the die to the beginning of the board, and the aforementioned picks it up with a smirk. “Please… a little board game? What am I, five?”

Caesar rolls his eyes. “Just toss the die,”

Four. Patrick steps on Albert’s square and chuckles. “What? Do I have to hug a tree?”

“Close!” the host chimes. A tree falls from the ceiling, landing before him. Patrick raises an eyebrow as a belt of chains lands on his head, sending him to the floor. He begrudgingly stands, holding the iron. 

“What’s this?”

“Your challenge is to chain yourself to this tree as this intern attempts to cut it down with a chainsaw! Chicken out, and you’re done,” Caesar says merrily, gesturing to a uniformed blond man, revving the biggest chainsaw Patrick had ever seen. 

He gulped, but picked up the chains anyway, fastening himself to the trunk. “No big deal. I’m not chicken,”

The chainsaw whirs to life, but before the intern can even step onto the game board, Patrick wiggles free of his constraints and scampers across the stage. 

“That’s what I thought,” Caesar smirks. “Joner-”

“Can we go together? As buds?” Joner says, holding McLovin’s hands with a pout. The host sighs, and then relents. “I suppose it’d save us some time. Joner and McLovin, you’re up,”

Two. They take exactly two steps forward, and stare at the pink tile beneath them. 

“Oh, this is delightful,” Caesar grins. “Michela’s challenge: defend yourself from eighty-three hungry rats with nothing but a hockey stick.”

“What?” Ass snaps from the peanut gallery. “That makes no sense!”

Joner shakes his head. “No, that’s Miccy,”

“Very Miccy,” McLovin sighs. 

Caesar hands them exactly one hockey stick and backs away as a nearby cage opens, and dozens of rats clamber out. The host watches with the peanut gallery, wincing as the two boys shriek. 

“Okay…” Caesar says, making no attempt to stop the rats from carrying McLovin and Joner away with them. “Alistair- it’s all on you. If you can make it across the board and answer the final question, you’re back in the running.”

“Wooo! Go Alistair!” Peter and O cheer. He waves to them. 

“I’m pretty confident,”

“Sure,” Noco murmurs from the suede couch. “All this friendship and smiles crap is making me sick.”

Alistair picks up the die and gives it a few good shakes before tossing it. It lands on a six, and he steps across the board. 

“Kelly’s challenge- write a nice haiku about someone everyone hates,” Caesar reads off the cue card, tucking it back in his coat. “Say… Julia!”

“Hey!” Scruffy shouts from the peanut gallery. They are ignored. 

“Oh, performance poetry! Simple,” Alistair says, crossing his arms. “Julia, so smart. She hacks, attacks, and bites back. What a piece of art!”

Caesar hums to himself for a moment. “I suppose I’ll count that as positive. Roll again!”

Scruffy crosses their arms and grumbles to themselves. “I could’ve done a better one,” Staci pats their shoulder.

Noco rolls his eyes. “Can we get on with this?”

Fren tosses the die again, rolling a five. That sends him off the board, and to the final question. Caesar pulls another card from his blazer pocket and clears his throat. 

“As the rules dictate, anyone who answers this question correctly earns themselves a non refundable trip straight to Total Takes. Alistair- are you ready?”

The British boy nods, crossing his arms. 

“Alright. Here’s your question: “What is Albert’s philosophical school of choice?””

Alistair pauses for a moment, rubbing his chin as he thinks. “It’s just at the tip of my tongue… it’s… Nigeria- no, that’s a country. Nickel? No…”

“You people can’t be serious. Are you all so happy-go-lucky and gullible that you can’t even recognize the core fundamentals of misery?” Noco snaps. Caesar tries to hush him, but to no avail. 

“And you think I’m the phony. Well, I think all of you are naive, immature, annoying little rays of sunshine who don’t even know what nihilism is!”

A faint ding sounds, and the stage lights up in colors. The peanut audience gasps. Caesar glares. “Great! Look what you’ve done!”

Noco raises an eyebrow. “What’s-”

“Isaac, you’ve just won yourself a chance at a million dollars,” Caesar grumbles, massaging his temples. “You know what? This is fine. Fine! I can’t trust anyone to rescue Bonnie, but hey- at least we’re getting rid of him!”

“That boy’s gonna get eaten alive,” Ass shakes their head. The peanut gallery nods in solemn agreement. 

A long pause follows, and then a wide, terrible grin spreads across Noco’s face. “Please. This is great! I’m finally going to prove everything I already know! Total Takes is pre-written, Max and Julia have been dating in secret, and everyone is miserable. I’ll see you suckers on TV, when I’m running my own show! This is my break!”

Caesar rolls his eyes as the former co-host walks off, making sure to flip off the audience before he disappears backstage. 

“Well… that’s our time. Our next aftermath will be at the finale, so stay tuned!” he sighs, turning away from the audience. “I need to lie down.”

[elsa16744]

The Future of Market Research: Virtual Reality and Immersive Experiences 

Market research is an integral part of customer behavior and experience personalization strategies. It provides necessary insights into consumers' product preferences and market trends. Conventional techniques such as one-to-one surveys, focus groups, or secondary data collection have been standard in this field. However, technological enhancements have equipped modern market researchers with novel tools like virtual reality. This post will discuss the future of market research, including the potential of virtual reality and immersive experiences. 

What is Virtual Reality? 

Virtual reality (VR) simulates a computer-aided audiovisual environment. It can mimic reality or include experiences from a fantasy. Its adequate implementation will resolve many customer profiling issues and data quality limitations haunting professionals in market research consulting. Moreover, immersing users in a realistic simulation allows VR projects to provide more dynamic or nuanced insights into consumer behavior. 

What Are the Benefits of Virtual Reality in Market Research? 

1| Immersive Experience and Consumer Behavior 

One of VR's key advantages in market research is the ease of creating highly immersive experiences. Unlike traditional methods, VR can simulate a complete environment. That allows researchers to observe how consumers interact with products or services in a lifelike context. Besides, this immersion can lead to more accurate and authentic responses. After all, participants are less likely to be influenced by the artificiality of a traditional research setting. The required detailed, realistic simulation is often complex to accomplish with ordinary methods. 

2| Emotional and Behavioral Insights 

Another significant benefit of VR integration is its ability to interpret emotional responses. However, you require biometric sensors to track heart rate and eye movements. The acquired data will assist in measuring physiological responses to different stimuli within the virtual environment. This data on reactions can facilitate valuable insights into how consumers feel about a product. You can also check their positive or negative sentiments toward an advertisement or brand. 

How to Utilize VR in Market Research Based on Your Target Industry? 

According to market intelligence consulting experts, several industries already leverage VR for customer insights. The following use cases demonstrate the versatility and effectiveness of this technology. 

1| Retail and Consumer Goods 

Virtual reality software can help retailers try multiple store layouts to see how customer dwell time changes. Remember, product placements and marketing tactics affect how much customers buy before the final checkout. Therefore, companies like Walmart and IKEA have experimented with virtual stores. They also intend to gather consumer feedback before making costly and permanent changes to their physical store layouts in the real world. This precaution allows them to optimize their strategies based on data-driven insights rather than intuition or guesswork. 

2| Automotive Industry 

Automotive companies utilize VR systems to offer virtual car showrooms and deliver simulated test-driving experiences. This use case enhances the customer experience. Brands get this valuable data to investigate ever-changing consumer preferences and purchasing behaviors. Consider Audi and Ford. They have developed virtual test drives, allowing potential buyers to experience their vehicles. They can configure various scenarios for virtual driving sessions. Later, they might gather stakeholder feedback influencing future car designs, collision safety measures, handling methods, or fuel-efficiency parameters. 

3| Healthcare and Pharmaceuticals 

In healthcare, clinicians and universities will leverage VR to simulate medical environments for apprentices' training and evaluating new medical devices and treatments. Pharmaceutical companies employ VR to simulate clinical trials. Doing so allows medical professionals to examine patient reactions to new drugs. Although these trials are programmatic, they enable better forecasts for real-world healthcare outcomes. As a result, the stakeholders can accelerate research and enhance the accuracy of their findings. 

Challenges in VR Integration for Immersive Experiences and Market Research 

While VR's potential in market research is immense, several challenges and considerations might hinder the effective implementation of virtual reality experiences. 

1| Accessibility and Cost 

One of the top challenges to the widespread integration of VR is the cost of equipment and the availability of reliable talent. Business leaders need cost-effective tools and experienced VR-friendly market researchers to develop and maintain virtual environments. High-quality VR headsets and sensors can be expensive, and creating a realistic and engaging virtual environment requires significant software development and design investment. As the virtual reality industry matures and its tech tools become more affordable, these costs will likely decrease. So, VR integration for market studies will be more accessible to all organizations worldwide. 

2| Data Privacy and Ethics 

Corporations' use of VR in market research and hyper-personalization raises critical questions about data privacy and ethics. Biometric data, such as heart rate and eye movement, are highly sensitive data categories. Therefore, data processing entities must handle them with care. Companies must ensure that their data protection measures are effective. At the same time, participants must know how data recipients will utilize their data legally, ethically, and legitimately. Transparency and consent are crucial to maintaining trust and avoiding potential legal issues. 

3| Technical Limitations 

Despite significant advancements, VR technology still has limitations. Motion sickness, for example, can affect some users by limiting the duration of VR sessions. Additionally, the realism of virtual environments exhibits visual artifacts or rendering glitches because of current hardware and software limitations. As technology continues to improve, these obstacles will likely diminish. However, they might be a significant problem for enterprises with smaller budgets. 

The Future of Virtual Reality in Market Research 

The future of VR and immersive experiences in market research is promising, with several disruptive projects already making the headlines, as explored below. 

1| Enhanced Realism and Interactivity 

Continuous progress in AI technologies promises better realism and more engaging interactions. Advances in graphics, haptic feedback, and artificial intelligence will create more lifelike and engaging virtual environments. Their future releases will enhance the accuracy of consumer behavior studies and provide deeper insights into their preferences and motivations. 

2| Integration with Other Technologies 

Integrating VR with other emerging technologies will open up new possibilities for market research. Consider augmented reality (AR), artificial intelligence (AI), and live data streaming projects. For example, brands can use AI platforms to analyze the extensive databases from VR-powered market studies to identify unique patterns and crucial trends that may be undetectable in a standard analysis. AR can complement VR by overlaying digital information in the real world, creating a seamless blend of physical and virtual experiences. 

3| Broader Adoption Across Industries 

Affordable technologies indicate broader VR adoption in market research across various industries. The potential applications will benefit entertainment, tourism, education, and real estate. Companies that embrace VR early on will have a first-mover advantage because they will gain actionable insights into their customers before competitors. Consequently, they will successfully stay ahead of them in understanding market trends. 

4| Personalized Consumer Experiences 

VR will revolutionize market research and provide better approaches to studying consumer engagement metrics. Understandably, you want to personalize virtual experiences based on individual preferences and behaviors. This method helps create more meaningful and engaging interactions. For instance, a fashion retailer could offer virtual fitting rooms. Online customers would try on clothes and receive personalized recommendations based on submitted style and body type data. Similar customization options tell customers your business is committed to prioritizing satisfaction and brand loyalty. 

Conclusion 

Global brands want to incorporate virtual reality and immersive experiences into market research. These tech advancements help redefine the methods for understanding consumer behavior. VR addresses many of the limitations of traditional research methods by providing a more realistic, engaging, and data-rich environment. While challenges can be tricky to overcome, the strategic benefits attract brands. For deeper insights and more accurate data to inform business strategies, companies have invested in developing solutions to those problems. 

As technology advances, domain experts expect VR to become indispensable in the market research toolkit. Companies that invest in this technology earlier will be well-positioned to reap the rewards since they acquire a competitive edge essential to thrive in their industry. The future of market research is immersive, and your competitors have merely begun exploring the possibilities.  

[georgegraphys]

I don’t think Elkann made this decision level-headed. He had one chance to sign very good driver who was being ‘let go’. He might have promised LH a ton of money for a lot, but at the end of the day he might have had some financial audit or something if he had reconsidered his big investment, either on a personal or from the business level. Also, didn’t he promise to be implicated in mission44? So that should be a couple of more money on top of LH salary.

If this decision with hp as a title sponsor came about, then my guess is that he will not sponsor LH ventures only by his money or his business, he might find other people to do so, or backtrack his promises altogether… which we cannot predict. There is also the talk of their contract, like how many years did they promise to sponsor, how much money, the salary after the first year, and so on and so forth… it’s a shit ton of business talks and contract drafting that at some point will come out… cannot wait to see how long they plan on contributing!

There have been a few people saying that as a brand ambasaador, lh will bring new customers and all that yada yada, but I don’t think they know what they’re talking about. A ferrari is well worth over a couple of thousands, so the spike in sales does not depend entirely on him, but with this we go into other depths of the discussion about microeconomics. It’s a difference between a ferrari and a mercedes after all. And both are not renaults cheap. Do you think his presence will change anything for ferrari? apart from the money spent on him

Warning: Opinionated.

The details about his contracts and everything... That is something only time could tell and maybe as we go, both of them will drop a few details. Or probably when they piss each other off, a blunder will happen and we might get more details about it. So far we haven't hear any of LH and Ferrari/JE. Of course, Ferrari/JE will not pay for everything +/- 200M investment and 100M salary is TOO MUCH. From a business standpoint, they could afford it but it is simply too much of a loss so they had to acquire title sponsors maybe.

I believe, whether it's GR or LH or CL or CS or any other driver that one day might get signed to be an ambassador to a car company, they will not bring anything significant to the valuations. Ferrari, Mercedes, McLaren, Audi, BMW, Porsche, Lamborghini, etc are brands that have established their branding for years, decades or even hundreds of year like Merc and Ferrari. They are brands that does not need any individual to represent them as their brands as their brands have represented themselves as it is. Whoever they hired, anyone, will not affect anything or add anything. A small amount? Yes but 0.0001%. The least they could add are following, engagement, marketability, etc. But for them to add on the sales? To add on the overall popularity around the world? No. Why? Because in the end, Formula One fans are just a small percentage of their overall market. Really small. How much F1 fans can REALLY afford a Ferrari or Mercedes irl? Not much.

People might say "Oh Ari but look at those clothing brands that have Kpop idols as ambassadors! Their sales increased" That was fashion. It is nothing compared to a car. You can walk into a random Dior store and buy 20 of their items and could still store them somewhere in your house. But if you buy 20 Mercedes or Ferraris, where do you put them? How do you do the maintenance? This part differentiates between cars and other fields like fashion. Every field has a different role for the ambassadors. Car ambassadors do not have the same influence as fashion ambassadors. Sometimes they are just there as the face. But not bring any impact. They are just there not to ADD anything but sometimes just to ENHANCE or HIGHLIGHT a certain part that the company wants to highlight about their car. For example, George with AMG C 63 S E Performance. He is driver number 63 and an F1 driver. He fits to promote a Mercedes AMG 63 line up car because he's an F1 driver and he's promoting an F1 based car. Did the sales go up because of him? I don't think so because customers don't give a flying fuck on whose modelling. They look at the specification. They don't care about who is promoting and who isn't no matter how great the ambassador is.

My conclusion is No. LH will not add anything to Ferrari as a car brand. Ferrari has established its solid branding for a really long time and that will never change just for a guy who has won the world championship 7x being their ambassador (not even sure if the contract is there). The role of an ambassador for different products differs. In the automotive field, they are just there to enhance and highlight the car's aesthetical promotion not change anything, pitch in design ideas or others. They are just there to be the pretty models. Even if barely anyone cared about it when it comes to buying the car itself. Mercedes and Ferrari target different rich people's niches. But one thing for sure is that they don't expect the existence of someone to boost the sales of their own car as they are THE brand itself. They don't need anyone's name. Brand ambassadors are just the cherry on top for these big car brands. Not the determinant of a car sales. I am not a hater but i'm simply speaking facts that NO ONE, no ambassador, will be able to do such things as 'boost' the sales or 'add' something or 'change' something. Brand ambassadors are employed by the company, they have ZERO autonomy to make some changes or to add something. Whether it's LH or whoever it is, this fact stays the same. Ferrari is Ferrari because they're Ferrari, they simply do not owe it to anyone nor will they allow anyone to add even a spark of change to their brand. Why? They are very proud of their legacy. Nothing touches or matches their legacy.

So will he add something...

Finance wise? No.

Branding wise? Little but not significant. Ferrari will always be remembered as Ferrari. Not by someone's name.

[f-ferrari-forever]

Thank you Elle (@il-predestinato) for tagging me! Loved the Audie photo btw, she’s definitely giving Charles a run for his money on who is the most adorable wearing that Monaco cap.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I know of, although my parents wanted it to be bit of an uncommon name. Fast forward to elementary school, there was girl in my class with the same name. Fast forward to now, turns out it’s a pretty darn popular name in a different part of the country. Oh well...

2. When was the last time you cried? 

Oh boy...Uhm, let’s just say that last month has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at work, but it’s all good now, at least I hope it is. 

On the other hand, I also teared up a little yesterday while reading one of the new entries in the Lestappen tag. I’d rec it here, but the author doesn’t want it shared outside AO3. Nevertheless, you’ll find it in the tag quite easily I think.

3. Do you have kids? 

Nope. Think I might want one eventually, but definitely not any time soon.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

It usually comes out the strongest when I’m pissed off, and when it does...let’s just say I’m not anybody’s bestie then 😅. 

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I have a confession to make...I’m a bit like our beloved boys Maxy and Charlie when it comes to sports (that may also include driving, but I hope I can fix that soon). I did try dance for a hot minute, but I kind of/sort sucked at it. What else? Oh right, had one swimming class before I caught pneumonia. Fun times.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

I have a bit of a sweet spot for fashion, so definitely how they’re dressed. Charlie baby, I’m definitely judging you.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely happy endings. Although recently I’ve been the tiniest bit more exposed to scary movies. I still think they suck though.

8. Any special talents?

Definitely not. Although I’m going to take a page out of Elle’s book and say that at least I am fully aware about things I suck at. Self-conscious, right? That can easily slip into underestimating yourself, but that’s a another story...

9. Where were you born?

Romania, my frenemy, the land of choice. King Charles apparently likes it here. If only it were a different Charles...ahem.

10. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, watching silly little sports about silly little tax-evading men and down-right abusive federations and coaches who exploit their athletes...also spending time with the people I love. Balance, right? 

11. Do you have any pets?

I do! Two kitties and one dog. But they’re not as cool as Audie!

12. How tall are you?

164 cm, and I am very adamant that it’s 164, not 163, okay? Also, I have no idea how inches work. 

13. Fave subject in school?

It would have been Math if I had had less...Russian coaches like teachers (to a much more smaller scale, but still). English definitely, and I guess also Romanian (but our literature is...not the most entertaining and my teachers were weird).

14. Dream job?

I’m starting more and more to realise that it’s being a university professor. Which is a bit of bummer financially, and also it doesn’t help that in my field and in my country it’s generally perceived that only people who fail in the industry turn to academia. But I really like working with students and helping them succeed.

15. Eye colour?

I’m going to step away from the poop joke and instead use the Stephenie Meyer description of chocolate brown ✌🏻. 

Tagging: @xiaoluclair, @alestire, @pressradio, @coconutshygame, @the-last-jedis, @dnfstrategist, @just-an-inchident, @karlmarxverstappen if any of you guys want to this or haven't been tagged already!