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miraculouslbcnreactions · 6 months ago

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Pick One: Magical Girl Show or Rom-com. You cannot be both.

Early in season four we get the episode Gang of Secrets. An episode that ends with Marinette outing her secret identity to Alya. A touching moment that sparked outrage across the fandom because it meant that Marinette had made the choice to reveal her identity to her best friend while keeping her hero partner in the dark.

This choice spat in the face of the exceptions that many fans had for the series. Thousands of pre-season-four fanfics feature moments where Ladybug and Chat Noir promise each other that they'll be the first to know each other's identities. After the Alya reveal, scores of fanfics were written to salt on Marinette's choice to tell the "wrong" person.

Most of these fics feature a betrayed Chat Noir quitting or otherwise punishing Ladybug for breaking their promise to be each other's first, thereby destroying his faith in their partnership. But that promise was never made on screen. It only existed in the realms of fanfic and, when Chat Noir finally found out in canon, his reaction was largely neutral. He never once blamed Ladybug for her choice or pushed for a reveal or even asked for the right to tell one of his friends.

So what happened here? Why did the fans have such wildly unrealistic expectations of canon? Were their expectations even unrealistic or did canon betray them? The answer to that is not as straight forward as you might think because it all comes back to one of Miraculous' many, many, many writing problems: Miraculous is trying to be both a Magical Girl Show and a romantic comedy, but those are not genres that mesh. You can only be one (or you can be a third thing that we'll get to at the end as it's the easiest way to fix this mess, but I want to mostly focus on where the anger is coming from and why the writing is to blame.)

To discuss this mismatch, we're going to do something that breaks my heart and talk about some of Origins flaws. While I love that episode and unironically refer to it as the best writing the show ever gave us, it's not perfect and its flaws are all focused around trying to set up both genres. Do note that I'm going to use a lot of gender binary language here as magical girl shows have a strong focus on gender segregation and rarely if ever acknowledge gender diversity.

Let's Talk Magical Girls

Magical girl shows are shows that center on young women and their friendships. While male love interests are often present in these shows, the boys tend to take a backseat and function primarily as arm candy while the girls save the day and carry the narrative.

A great example of this is the show Winx Club. This show features a large cast of teenage girls who save the magical universe from various threats with their magical powers. Each girl has a love interest, but the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship. I don't even think that we see the guys fight or, if we do, it's a rare thing. They are not there to save the day. They are there to be shipping fodder.

Like most magical girl shows, Winx Club starts with the main character making friends with one of the girls who will eventually become part of her magical girl squad. This brings us back to Miraculous.

Did you ever find it weird that Origins implies that Marinette has no friends? She doesn't even have a backbone until new girl Alya shows up to become Marinette's First Real Friend:

Marinette: I so wish I can handle Chloé the way you do. Alya: You mean the way Majestia does it. She says all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. (pointing at Chloé) Well, that girl over there is evil, and we are the good people. We can't let her get away with it.

This is a bizarre opening because Miraculous is not about Marinette making friends or learning to stand up for herself. If you skipped Origins and just watched the rest of the show, then you'd have no clue that Marinette wasn't close with her classmates before this year. You also wouldn't know that Alya was new in town and you definitely wouldn't know that Marinette had never stood up to Chloé before this year. So why is this here? Why waste screen time setting up elements that aren't actually important to canon?

Miraculous did it for the same reason that Winx Club did it: magical girl shows traditionally start with the main character making friends with at least one of her eventual female teammates because Magical Girl shows are all about the girls and their relationships. The boys are just arm candy.

But Miraculous isn't a magical girl show. The writers have explicitly stated that it's a rom-com and romantic comedies aren't about female friendship. They might have female friendships in them, but that's not where the focus is. The focus of a rom-com is on the romance and Origins is very clearly all about the romance.

Origins as a Rom-com

Origins has a lot on its plate. It has to establish the villain's motivation for the first time, show us how the heroes got their miraculous, show us how the heroes first met on both sides of the mask, show us how they met their respective best friends, and show us how the heroes dealt with their first akuma. It would be perfectly understandable if this 40 minute two-parter didn't do anything with the romance. They have a full show to give us that!

In spite of this, Origins has some incredibly touching moments for both Ladynoir and Adrienette because romance is the heart of Miraculous. It is the main focus of the show. The driving motivation for both of our leads and the majority of the show's episodes. To tell the story of how their journey started without at least one of them falling in love would feel wrong. That's why we see both of them fall in love!

First we get Chat Noir giving his heart to his bold and brilliant lady, then we get Marinette's heart being stolen by the shy sweet boy who never once thought to blame her for her snap judgement of his character. We even get a touching moment where Chat Noir inspires his lady to accept her role and be Ladybug, leading her to boldly face their enemy and call him out:

Roger: I have a new plan, unlike you! Move aside and let the pros do their thing. You've already failed once! Ladybug: …He's right, you know. If I'd captured Stoneheart's akuma the first time around, none of this would have happened! I knew I wasn't the right one for this job… Cat Noir: No. He's wrong, because without you, she'd no longer be here. (they look at Chloe) And because without us, they won't make it, and we'll prove that to 'em. Trust me on this. Okay? Ladybug: Okay.

I love this moment, but it does lose a little of its power when you remember that we had an Alya-driven variation of this exact same thing five minutes prior:

Alya: HELP!! (Marinette suddenly gets filled with courage. She gets the case out of Alya's bag and puts on the Miraculous. Then, Tikki appears, happy to see Marinette again.) Tikki:(raising her arms) Mmmm! Marinette: I think I need Ladybug! Tikki: I knew you'd come around! Marinette: Well, I'm still not sure I'm up for this, but Alya's in danger. I can't sit back and do nothing.

This scene initially confused me because - if Miraculous is a rom-com - then why would you make Alya the reason that Marinette became Ladybug? Why wouldn't you have Chat Noir be the one in danger so that Marinette chose to fight because of her love interest and then encourage that bond with the later scene of him encouraging her? Why split the focus like this? Why give Alya so much attention?

In case you haven't figured it out, it's because Origins is trying to establish two different genres of show. Two genres that will continue to fight for the rest of the series (or at least the first five seasons).

Magical Girls Vs Rom-com

Why is Alya the one to shake off the nightmare dust and inspire the others during the season five finale? Why is Alya the one that Marinette trusts with all of her plans while Chat Noir is kept in the dark? Why does Alya and Marinette's friendship get so much more focus than Adrien and Nino's? Why was Alya the only temp hero who got upgraded to full time hero?

It's because Alya is Marinette's second in command in a magical girl show and magical girl shows focus on female friendships while the boys are just there to be cute and support the girls.

Why do most of Marinette's talks with Alya focus on Adrien? Why is Chat Noir the only other full time holder of a Miraculous for the first three seasons and then again for the final season? Why do Marinette's friends become more and more obsessed with Adrienentte as the show goes on? Why is the love square's identity reveal given so much more narrative weight than any other identity reveal?

It's because Miraculous is a rom-com and the love square is our end game couple, so of course the story focuses on their relationship above all else!

Are you starting to see the problem?

Circling back to our original question: no, it was not unreasonable for the fans to expect that the Alya reveal would have massive negative consequences for Ladynoir. That is what should happen in a rom-com and Miraculous is mainly written like a rom-com. But the writers are also trying to write a magical girl show and, in a magical girl show, Alya and Marinette's friendship should be the most important relationship in the show, so it makes perfect sense that the show treats the Alya reveal as perfectly fine because the Alya reveal was written from the magical girl show perspective.

When it comes to Miraculous, if you ever feel like a writing choice makes no sense for genre A, re-frame it as a thing from genre B and it suddenly makes perfect sense which is fascinatingly terrible writing! It's no wonder there are people who hate the Alya reveal and people who will defend it with their life. It all depends on which genre elements you've picked up on and clung to. Neither side is right, they've both been set up to have perfectly valid expectations. Whether those expectations are valid for a given episode is entirely up to the mercurial whims of the writers!

How Do We Fix This Mess

At this point, I don't think that we can, the show is too far gone, but if someone gave me the power to change one element of Miraculous, that element would be this: scrap both the magical girl stuff and the rom-com stuff and turn Miraculous into a team show where the friendships transcend gender.

At this point, I've written over a quarter of a million words of fanfic focused on these characters (the brain rot is real) and one thing I've discovered is that it is damn near impossible to keep Adrien and Alya from becoming friends. They're both new to their school while Marinette and Nino have gone to the same school for at least a few years. Alya and Adrien are both obsessed with Ladybug plus Adrien is a natural hype man who loves to support his friends and Alya loves to talk about her blog. Alya is dating Adrien's best friend. On top of that, Alya, Adrien, Nino, and Marinette are all in the same class, meaning that they pretty much have to be spending time together five days a week unless French school don't give kids a chance to socialize or do group projects. If so, then judging them for the first issue, but super jealous of the latter.

Given all of that, why in the world is does it feel like Alya is Marinette's close friend while Adrien is just some guy who goes to Alya's school? Along similar lines, while canon Marinette barely talks to Nino, I've found that Marinette and Nino tend to get along smashingly, especially if you embrace the fact that they have to have known each other for at least a few years.

If you embrace this wider friendship dynamic and scrap the girl squad, replacing it with Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Nino, then the fight for narrative importance quickly goes away. It's no longer a question of is this episode trying to be a magical girl show or a rom-com? Instead, the question is: which element of the friend group is getting focused on today? The romance or the friendship?

A lot of hero shows do this and do it well. I think that one of the most well known examples is Teen Titans. That show has five main characters and the focus is usually on their friendships, but there is a very clear running romantic tension between the characters Robin and Starfire with several episodes giving a good deal of focus to their romance. I'd say that this element really starts in the show's the 19th episode - Date with Destiny - and it all culminates in the movie that capstones the series: Trouble in Tokyo. The character Beast Boy also gets a romance arc and, while it's more short lived, it's further evidence that you can have strong romances and strong friendships in the same show and even the same episode. You just have to own the fact that boys and girls can be friends with each other, a very logical thing to embrace when your show has decided to have a diverse cast of heroes instead of imposing arbitrary gender limitations on its magical powers.

I couldn't figure out a way to work this into the main essay, but it's relevant so I wanted to quickly point it out and give you more to think about re Origins. Have you ever found it weird how Origins gives both Adrien AND Marinette the "I've never had friends before" backstory and yet wider canon acts like Marinette has this strong amazing friend group while Adrien doesn't seem to care about making friends and instead focuses all his energy on romance? Why give both the protagonist and the supposed deuteragonist this kind of origin if it's not going to be a major element of the show? It makes so much more sense to only give one of them this backstory and then focus that person's character arc on learning about friendship.

#ml writing critical #ml writing salt #adrien deserves better #marinette deserves better #alya deserves better #nino deserves better #My queendom for a team show #I was promised a team show!#Why even give the boys powers if you don't want the boys to have screentime?

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iinthehexcore · 1 month ago

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kindergarten teacher

summary: With the new rules set in line, it meant the children of the Undercity could finally attend Piltover's school. To avoid potential conflicts, a couple Enforcers are tasked to guard the building, including Steb.

content: headcanon that steb was born in the undercity, use of y/n, teacher!reader, does not quite follow the original s2 storyline, it has more in common with the au episode! just imagine the councilors office survived lol! also have the headcanon that steb is not always quiet, fem reader!

2,378 words

a/n: i hope this is like how you imagined! i have heard of abbott elementary but i haven't watched it myself... hihi, nonetheless, enjoy! if i don't see you guys anymore, then also a very happy new year!

⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

"Well, you're from the Undercity, aren't ya? Perfect job for you."

Steb nearly rolled his eyes at the comment, but didn't speak up. No matter how much his colleagues annoyed him, they did have a point. If anything, out of all Enforcers, he would be the best there. As one of the only Undercity-born Enforcers, he would know how it felt. The stares, the hushed comments, the nerves of being in a new place where you knew people hated you.

It was unbelievable. Jayce and Viktor had done it. Though Jayce's wording was... unusual for a Councilor, they got what they wanted. Piltover and the Undercity, both at peace, both independent. The vents finally rid the air of the thick smoke and harmful chemicals, the bridge opened, and the Undercity finally received the help they desperately needed.

Homes rebuilt, lights installed, streets cleaned. And now, access to school. The Undercity was filled with geniuses, waiting to unlock their talents and show their skills to whoever would listen. Improving the world, improving their home. Sure, there was something you could call a school in the Undercity, but it wasn't necessarily a priority. No use in sitting in class if you were starving.

But now, there you stood. A proud and excited teacher who had just hung up, albeit a very uneven, banner. 'Welcome!' it read in bright, bold letters, decorated with flowers and stars. It had taken you an entire evening to put it together, but you could finally say you were proud of your work. Not every teacher was as... excited as you were. When the news came out that the Undercity would become independent and that Councilor Talis and Viktor wanted to open a school for the new students, not everyone was enthusiastic.

"We don't want Undercity dirt on our polished streets," they seethed, "Keep 'em out of here!"

Even a teacher or two who had already been working at the school disagreed with the choice. They had nothing to say though - an Undercity class would be formed, whether they liked it or not. And you, being excited to meet the new students, were chosen to become their teacher. 'Chosen'. You practically volunteered, arm raised in the air as you waved it around. Getting along with your coworkers was hard enough, but you could not imagine having a teacher like that. Coming from the Undercity into Piltover for education was already a scary step, and if you could make it easier, then that was what you would do. Who knows, what if you ended up having a genius inventor in your class?

With only minutes until the bridge officially opened, the small group of Enforcers stood near the school with Steb leading them. The quiet but intimidating man was 'put in charge'. As you hopped out of the doors, you nearly stumbled, your heel stuck on the doorframe. The tumble made Steb immediately turn his head as he saw, what he assumed to be, a teacher flat on the ground. With one glance and a nod to his team, he walked through the entry gates, not stopping before he went up to you.

You groaned as you pushed yourself up, wiping your hands before looking down at your busted knee. Great - there goes the good impression that you wanted to make. A shadow appeared over you, and as you looked up, you saw the enforcer that previously stood much further away. He acted fast, pulling at the small first aid kit on his thigh and opening it, revealing an array of different bandages, creams, and wipes.

"Oh!" your eyes widened, "No, it's okay. I am meeting my class in only a few minutes and I don't want to trouble you!"

"It is of no trouble," his smooth voice sounded, his hands working meticulously to fish the scissors and bandages out of his pack, "If it doesn't get cleaned properly, it could form a problem in the future."

The scrape was barely bleeding, but the hero in Steb's heart needed to help the poor woman. From what he could see, all the other teachers stayed hidden inside, not even taking a minute to greet the new pupils. Yet you... There was something about you.

"Well, in that case..." your voice trailed off, watching the man clean your scrape and placing a bandaid on it, "Thank you so much, sir!"

"With pleasure," he packed up his kit again as his ears twitched, the school bell ringing.

He held out his hand to gently pull you up before nodding once, his pack back on his thigh and his hands clasped behind his back as he walked to where he previously stood. It seemed right on time, as the first few students walked over the bridge. Their parents, nearly more nervous than their children were, also seemed rather cautious. The sight of enforcers, albeit not heavily armed, was not too inviting. But you were.

"Oh hello everyone! It's so nice to meet you, I will be your new teacher!" Steb could hear you say, "For all questions or just a simple chat, you can always come to me."

Tensed shoulders relaxed as the kids let themselves go, admiring the playground before cheering, running to whatever it was that piqued their interest.

"Hah, good to see they like it!"

"Miss?" one of the parents spoke up, "A question, if that's okay?"

"Always!"

Steb averted his gaze back to the streets of Piltover. Though most people were not against the people from the Undercity, there was still a group who would want nothing more than the neighboring city to crumble. At first, Steb thought that having more than two enforcers patrolling the school grounds was a bit over the top. What was there to be scared of if the entire class were only young children? But then he came to the realization - it wasn't the Undercity that they had to keep in check, it was Piltover. Though branded as the 'higher ups', when something didn't go their way, some of the inhabitants had a tendency to be rather childish, yet cruel.

"Well, would anyone like to see their classroom?"

High-pitched voices cheered again as they waved at their parents one last time, following their new teacher inside. The rest of the day, or week rather, went rather smoothly. Kids coming over the bridge, more confident as time went on. Finding their talents, finding new hobbies, and making new friends. Only one annoying man tried to bother the school on numerous occasions, blabbering about how his daughter who was 'born and raised in Piltover' shouldn't have to go to school with Undercity children. Thankfully, they got rid of him.

Steb noticed a change in himself. As always, he was punctual, but it seemed like he now was ahead of the clock. At first, he was at school precisely at 8:00 - fifteen minutes before class. Then it became five minutes earlier, then another five, and before he knew it, he was at school at 7:30. He wasn't even aware as to why - it didn't call for it. The news about the new students had already flown over, yet he felt himself pulled to the grounds. The group of enforcers was even cut down to only Steb and another, yet there were talks about wanting to cut it to one enforcer before completely removing them.

"Ah, Steb!" He had told you his name last week, "You are early!"

"Punctual," he nodded, something which made you chuckle.

"Would you care for some tea? I can't have you waiting out in the cold."

It wasn't cold outside, you just wanted a reason to talk to him longer.

"That is very appreciated, thank you."

And so, after mustering up the courage to do so for a long time, you and Steb sat across one another, steaming cups of tea in your hands. The classroom, your classroom, was much more inviting than the other ones Steb saw. Countless drawings on the wall, personalized name tags on the tables, colorful pens in the penholder on your desk.

You had offered your chair to Steb, but he had quickly shook his head. After asking again, he just took matters into his own hands, grabbing the nearest chair before sitting down on it. Maybe he should have looked for another nearest one as his long, slender body now sitting on a chair for a six-year-old. It was a funny sight.

"So yeah, that's how I became their teacher!"

Steb hummed, sipping the tea that had now cooled down significantly. Your company felt so welcoming and warm. It fit you oh so perfectly. He looked at his tea for a moment - was this why he came in so early?

"Officer Steb! Officer Steb!"

You turned your head to the door, a bunch of excited kids cheering as they ran into the classroom, placing their items in their places. You raised an eyebrow with a smile, drinking the last bit of tea.

"That's so silly, my chair is way too small for you!"

"Ah, I suppose you're right," Steb smiled softly, standing up before placing the chair back from where he took it.

You also stood, moving the tea cups out of the way. You didn't know that Steb was such a beloved character in their lives.

"Are you two together?"

Both Steb and you stopped in your tracks as you awkwardly laughed.

"Yes!" one of the girls squealed, "You have to be!"

"Now, now," you huffed, patting Steb's chest, "Officer Steb has lots to do. Say goodbye to Officer Steb!"

Multiple voices rang out as you and Steb walked into the hallway.

"So sorry," you furrowed your eyebrows, "But I did appreciate the tea this morning."

"As did I," he nodded as he said your name, his posture straight as he turned to walk out of the school.

Something about it made your stomach flutter, yet you shook it off and returned to class.

"And, are we ready for reading?"

Three hours later, you stood outside, watching all the kids play on the playground. The difference between when they just arrived and now was nearly insane. They were so much more open and cheerful, finally being able to feel like they fit in.

"Ouch!"

You looked over at the yelp, seeing one of the girls on the ground.

"Oh no!" you jogged over to her, kneeling down as you helped her sit up, "What happened, dear?"

"I tripped," her lip trembled as she held her elbow.

"Need a bandaid?"

Both of you looked up, seeing Steb with bandaids in hand. You let out a relieved sigh, nodding as you rubbed the poor girls' back, watching as her scrape got wiped. Steb, as caring as always.

"Miiiiisssss!!!"

You looked over your shoulder, seeing another kid wave his hands excitedly, most likely wanting to show you something. You give Steb an apologetic look, but he just nods. You mouthed a quick 'thank you' before standing up and walking over to your other student.

"Officer Steb?"

He hummed in response.

"Do you like Miss Y/N?"

He raised an eyebrow, opening the colorful bandaid as he stuck it on her elbow.

"She is my friend, yes."

"But..." she leaned closer, whispering in a hushed voice, "Do you like like Miss Y/N?"

He snorted, huffing as he smiled before raising his pointer finger to his lips as if shushing himself.

"Not a word, Officer Steb!"

It seemed like the pain from her elbow disappeared as she jumped up, immediately racing back to her friend while giggling.

"Anything interesting, 'Officer Steb'?"

"No," he hummed, "Nothing yet, 'Miss Y/n'."

Weeks passed and it was finally winter break. Even though you loved your class dearly, you could use some time off.

"I will see you all soon, okay?"

"See you soon, miss!"

The doors closed as you let out a sigh. Your bag was filled with papers that needed to be graded, pencils to be sharpened, and assignments that needed to be made. A lot to do in only two weeks' time, but the more you did now, the longer you could relax.

So, with a bag filled to the brim and a scarf around your neck, you braved the cold outside. Snow, slippery tiles, and wind. You made it halfway through Piltover without slipping on anything, but it seemed like you wouldn't make it out without at least one bump or bruise.

You yelped as you accidentally stepped on a small patch of ice, yet the impact never came. Gloved, blue hands gripped your waist as they hoisted you back up.

"Steb!"

"We have to stop meeting like this, Miss Y/N," he softly joked, "Are you okay?"

"Well, I think you have successfully avoided me breaking any bones, so I would say so. Are you working?"

He shook his head, holding his helmet in his hands.

"Done for the day. I'm going to change out of uniform and I'm hoping to stop by a cafe for a drink."

You nodded, both quietly standing together. So many things to be said, yet you could not find the right words.

"Well, I-"

"I make great hot chocolates."

Steb raised his eyebrow in surprise, the frills on his cheeks fluttering as he looked at you.

"I, I mean," you stuttered, letting out a chuckle, "If you like hot chocolate, that is. Caramel syrup, and all."

"You are inviting me?"

"Perhaps. To my house, yes. But, if I am overstepping-"

"No," he quickly interjects, clearing his throat, "No, it is very appreciated. I just... I will change? Base is just over there."

"Yes! Yes, no, that's fine."

Steb had never switched out of his uniform that fast in his life.

Only seven minutes later he walked back out of the building, now dressed in something much more casual and even a set of glasses on his nose.

"Ready for the hot chocolate?"

He hummed in response.

"You know, I never knew you wore glasses."

This time, he chuckled before giving you a smile that made your cheeks feel warm.

"Well, there is a lot you have yet to discover."

#arcane #arcane imagine #arcane x reader #arcane imagines #steb arcane #steb imagine #steb x reader

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ckret2 · 4 months ago

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Chapter 77 of human Bill Cipher being a prisoner with terrible fashion sense: beach episode!!! Well, lake episode. Close enough.

And a few other people come to town.

Just after dawn, a sleek, nondescript black government SUV, now dusty from a long drive, parked in front of the Gravity Falls Police Department. Three agents in sleek, nondescript black suits stepped out.

As they left the car, Blubs came out to meet them, Durland trailing behind him. "Agent Powers, Agent Trigger! Good to see you again." He shook Powers's hand, then glanced at the new agent. "And you are...?"

"Agent Dale!" The rookie shook Blubs's hand next, beaming. "Very pleased to meet you. I was just saying in the car—you have a beautiful town here, just beautiful."

"Wouldn't stop talking about it," Trigger muttered.

Blubs chuckled. "Why, thank you. We're quite proud of it ourselves."

Durland said, "Say, Agent Dale—don't you agents usually have tougher-sounding codenames?"

"Agent Clyde S. Dale. Like the horse."

"Ohhh. Yup, that'll do it."

"Sheriff Blubs," Powers said. "I trust you have the requested materials?"

"Right inside," Blubs said. "We've got the readings on last week's gravity anomaly from McGucket's scanners, and reports on this weekend's power surge."

"No overlap between the incidents?"

"None anyone here detected."

"Hmm. Has anything else strange happened since we were last in town?"

Blubs hesitated. "Well—never mind all that." He quickly shifted topics, "Say, I like your 'honk if you want to be arrested' bumper sticker." ("Oh is that what it says?" Durland asked.)

Agent Powers said solemnly, "I can get you the contact information of the shop where I bought it. It's a very nice small business run by art students."

"Would you? That'd be delightful."

Powers paused before following the cops and his agents into the police department, glancing out at Gravity Falls' town square—the modest little main street shops, the town hall, the statue of the town founder, the distinctive water tower with the faded muffin graffiti, and the familiar mountains surrounding the little valley town.

And then he let out a long, frustrated sigh.

"Fine," he muttered grumpily, glaring at the town as though it were an old rival as annoyed to see him as he was to see it. "Let's just get this over with."

He followed Blubs into the police department.

####

"Attention, everybody," Stan said, standing in the entryway with his fists on his hips, Soos beaming behind him. "I've got some great news!"

Abuelita and Bill glanced up from one of Abuelita's soap operas; Mabel and Dipper craned their necks to see Stan from where they were having dinner at the kitchen table.

Stan announced, "It's finally time!"

Dipper and Mabel blinked. Bill said, "Great. I'll get the ritual daggers, you can set up the blood red candles. Dolores?"

Abuelita said, "I will put out the good sacrifice altar." Bill laughed in delight.

"Yeah, yuck it up, you two," Stan said. "We're going fishing tomorrow! I've got the bait, I found everyone's rods, Soos and I patched up the old boat, I even—" He paused at the sound of the vending machine opening. "Hey! Ford!"

Ford ducked in from the gift shop. "What?"

Stan chucked a hat at him. "I made you a fishing buddy hat! See, it's got your name! That's pretty good!"

"Oh." Ford inspected the letters haphazardly stitched onto the hat. "Why?"

"Fishing tomorrow! Half the summer's gone by, and we haven't gone fishing once! The guys from the lodge probably think I'm too ashamed to show my face. But it rained this weekend, the weather's just cleared up, now's the perfect time for fishing!"

"Oh," Ford said again, trying to drag his thoughts from magical tapes to fishing. "If you'd let me know earlier, I'd have built another fish-summoning beacon like the one on our boat." (Bill glanced curiously at Ford at the mention of an invention he didn't already know about; then stubbornly refused to be interested and dragged his gaze back to the TV.)

"No beacons! This isn't fishing for survival, this is about the sport! Asserting our manhood! Just the skill, strength, and patience of three men—and some women and children—against the lake!" (Soos beamed at being included amongst the men.)

Ford considered that. He didn't assert his manhood very often; usually he just sort of let his manhood hang around minding its own business, like an old cat that wants to be in the same room as you without socializing. It sounded like an intriguingly novel experience. "Okay, great. What time?"

"I want everyone on the road tomorrow morning! By six thirty at the latest."

The kids groaned.

"C'mon, dudes," Soos said encouragingly. "It'll be fun! After about three hours, once you're awake enough to think."

"No griping, we've gotta be there early to get a prime fishing spot," Stan said. "Tomorrow's a lodge fishing day. We're going home with a haul so big they'll be embarrassed they kicked me out!"

Dipper asked, "You mean the lodge for the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel, right? Why'd they kick you out?"

Stan sighed, "Once the town found out about Ford, they realized I'd spent the last thirty years attending lodge meetings under his membership. Since I'd never undergone the—" He rolled his eyes and made finger quotes, "'sacred angler initiation rites,' they booted me. And they said I can't try to join again, just because of that one dumb little white lie! And my extensive criminal record."

Ford hurriedly crossed the living room to avoid blocking Abuelita's TV view. (Bill looked through him like he wasn't there.) "Stan got a lot more out of my membership than I did—once I'd finished my initiation I probably only ever attended three meetings. I tried to petition the Mackerels to let him rejoin."

"How'd they respond?" Mabel asked.

"They kicked me out too."

Bill scoffed. "Big deal! The Fishmasons and all their subordinate organizations are just a big boring social club that got you hotel discounts three hundred years ago. The mystique around them is more interesting than anything they actually do."

"Figuring that out is why I stopped attending after three meetings," Ford said. "I joined to learn about the dark secret underbelly of Western politics—not sit around eating charcuterie and fancy nuts while everyone talks about baseball and makes fun of me for not knowing what a fly ball is. It's a stupid term! Doesn't the ball always fly?"

"Really, they aren't even worth joining," said Bill Cipher, the only person to have ever been kicked out of seventeen separate Masonic lodges in seventeen separate bodies.

Reminded of the fancy nuts he was missing out on at this very second, Stan set his jaw in determination. "Yeah, well, they're a big boring social club that'll rue the day they kicked out Stan Pines! Out the door, six thirty, on the dot!"

"I don't have an alarm," Bill said. "Hey star girl, wake me at five."

Mabel shuddered at the thought of setting an alarm that early. "No way. You can borrow my radio."

"Hold on, I didn't say you're invited," Stan said. "We've already got a full boat! Me, my brother, the kids, and Soos and his girl. Nobody wants to sit on the lake with you for eight hours."

"I wanna sit on the lake with Bill!"

"Nobody but Mabel wants that."

"Relax! I don't want to sit on a boat with you underpainted clowns either," Bill said. "I just want to sit on the beach! I miss sunlight! Sunlight without being forced to hike through half the valley on no food or sleep."

(Ford decided that was his cue to make himself scarce. He scooted into the guest room.)

"Well," Stan said, "we're not staying thirty feet from the shore, we're not leaving anybody behind, and we don't trust you to stay put on the beach without your dumb magic bracelet—so how do you expect that to work."

"I'll just stay with Dolores."

Stan and Soos stared at Abuelita. Soos said, "Abuelita? Do you want to come?"

Abuelita considered it. "Sure. The weather is nice. I can catch up on my reading."

"Yes!" Bill hopped off the couch. "Then it's a plan!"

"Hey, hold on," Stan said as Bill breezed past him, "I didn't agree to—"

"Hey star girl!" Bill leaned into the kitchen. "Need your fashion services! I need a swimsuit before tomorrow."

Mabel gasped in delight. "What kind?"

"Whatever exposes the most skin without getting me arrested. I'm absorbing as much sunlight as possible."

"With sunscreen, right?" Soos said.

Bill turned and gave him a blank-faced stare.

Soos hopefully repeated, "With sunscreen?"

"Don't need it."

"You totally do, dude. Not many people talk about this? But having more melanin doesn't totally protect you from sun damage, it just slows it down," Soos said. "Trust me on this. When I was like eight, I went to this water park—

"Uh-huh, and three days later you were peeling off flakes of your own dead flesh," Bill said. "It's cute how you think you know more about humans from 23 years of passively being one than I do from 500,000 years of actively studying them."

"Oh."

"C'mon, star girl! No time to waste!" Bill grabbed Mabel's hand and tugged her off her chair.

"Wait, my sandwich—!" Mabel grabbed the rest of her dinner off her plate and shoved it in her mouth as Bill dragged her upstairs.

Abuelita shot him a dirty look as he passed, but turned back to her soap opera.

####

Just past five in the morning, Bill crept by the guest room door. He glanced through the wall as he passed; good, both of the Stans were in bed and sound asleep. Bill wouldn't have had a chance to get up to his mischief if Ford had decided to sleep downstairs.

He snuck behind the vending machine; paused to squint toward the future and confirm that when he looked at the stairs, he could only see himself using them anytime soon; then down to the elevator; and down, down to Ford's study.

Bill sighed in relief when the elevator slid open and he saw that Ford had left his study door ajar. He crept into the room, feet socked, hands gloved—Ford was the kind of paranoid to actually check for prints if he suspected anything, and Bill's triangular whorls were very distinctive—and looked through the objects piled on the shelves and furniture for any concealed sensors or cameras. The coast was clear.

He idly scanned the nearby shelves for any sign of his stolen time tape, didn't find it, but didn't expect to. That wasn't what he was here for.

He knelt in front of a half-disassembled filing cabinet, flipped through the files in the removed bottom drawer until he found several folders together about curses and hexes, and flipped through them until he found the one labeled "Curses & Hexes (w/ ingredients)". Good old Sixer, left everything exactly where Bill remembered it.

He rifled through the pages—"aha!"—until he found the paper he was looking for and pulled it out. Handwritten at the top of a ragged-edged piece of notebook paper were the words "Reverse Sunscreen". Bill read through the list of ingredients—"Oh, pepper juice, not pepper flakes, right."—then put the paper back.

He glanced back and forth between the past and present to ensure he put the files back exactly where he'd found them—again, considering Ford's paranoia, he might notice any difference.

And then he returned to the elevator and headed upstairs.

The whole time he was in the study, Bill didn't let himself glance at the back of the room where Ford's shrine to him used to be.

####

"Heya, pal," Bill said. "It's been a while! Where have you been hiding all summer?"

Gompers blinked up at Bill.

"I guess we both look different than we did the last time we met, huh? I think your makeover went better than mine, though! You didn't fall as far as I did." He didn't have as far to fall.

Gompers accepted the backhanded compliment with utter indifference.

"But hey, why talk about the past! Let's let bygones be bygones. Here." Bill knelt, pulled one of Ford's nutrition pills from the folds of his beach towel, and held it out. "A peace offering! A little snack for you."

Gompers eyed it warily.

"Come on, you've eaten worse things than this."

He delicately ate the pill out of Bill's hand.

"Thaaat's right. Tell me how you like that thing later."

Leaning on his car, Stan—the only other person who'd actually been ready to go at 6:30—looked over Bill's shirt and trout slippers, and asked warily, "You didn't forget that humans need to wear pants, right?"

Bill got to his feet, shoved his makeshift umbrella-cane under the same arm as his beach towel, and pulled up the hem of the puma shirt he'd stolen from the gift shop to reveal his bikini bottom. It was teal with little puffy gold triangles painted on. "Cover-up dress. Your arbitrary fashion rules are different for beaches."

Stan considered whether a t-shirt counted as a dress, decided he didn't know enough about dresses and he might as well give this one to Bill, and grunted. "Fine, you're legal."

"Am I free to go, officer?"

"Never compare me to a cop again."

"Stop acting like one!" Bill trotted off to his ride to wait for the other humans to assemble.

There wasn't room for all eight beachgoers in one vehicle; the Pines piled together in Stan's car, while the Ramirezes (including Melody—honorary future Ramirez—and Bill—magic braceleted to Abuelita) took Soos's truck. So that Abuelita didn't have to squeeze past the front seats into the back, Bill and Melody were assigned the back bench; when Bill greeted Melody and she only responded with a vague mumble and an averted gaze, he scooted closer to the middle of the bench, spread his knees to take up more space, and smugly pretended not to notice how Melody squeezed herself against the door.

By the time the Ramirez vehicle parked at the beach, the Pines family was already out of their car: Stan was glaring up the beach with his fists on his hips, the kids were unsuccessfully searching Mabel's supply bag for Dipper's sunscreen, and Ford was lingering back at the car, pretending to check the contents of their tackle box but actually trying to shake the sudden memory of weightlessness and water in his throat. As Bill passed, Ford muttered, "I'm surprised you wanted to get this close to the lake so soon. Considering." It had been less than a week since their joint near death experience.

"Why not? Nearly drowning was the most fun part of that hike." (Ford wondered whether that was a red flag, an underhanded comment about how unfun the rest of the hike had been, or just Bill being Bill; and, for his own peace of mind, decided it was probably the third thing.) "Looks like you got something fun out of the trip, too." Bill snapped the shoulder strap of Ford's waders.

Ford shoved Bill's hand away. "As long as I have them, I might as well use them."

When everyone caught up with Stan, he was scowling at four men, ages ranging from 50 to 80, wearing fishing vests and hats with the Holy Mackerel's distinctive stylized fish symbol. "Eugene," Stan muttered. "Eugene and his goons wanted to kick me out of the lodge for years. Just because I have a grating personality and am generally unpleasant to be around! And tried to get the lodge to pick a local affordable housing fund as our charity for fundraising one year!"

Ford gave Stan a surprised look. "You never mentioned you worked with an affordable housing charity."

"Yeah. The Compassionate Angel's Fund For Gravity Falls Tourism Business Owners Who Are Behind On Their Mortgage Payments."

Ford snorted.

Bill said, "I think you should've gotten away with it just for being funny."

"Don't even look at them," Stan instructed the group. "These jerks aren't worth it." The collected group studiously avoided looking at the Mackerels, except Bill and Abuelita, who didn't care.

As they walked up the beach toward the pier and veered around the Mackerels, Stan suddenly stopped, turned straight toward them, and said loudly, "Why, Eugene! What a coincidence! I almost didn't notice you!"

A tall, elderly man with a fishing rod over one shoulder and a black wooden cane in his other hand glanced over at the Pines/Ramirez party. "Oh," he said, with a voice like he'd found a fly stuck in gum on his cane. "Hello, Stan-ley. We haven't seen you out on the lake this summer."

Stan laughed loudly, as if Eugene had told a hilarious joke. "Oh, that! I was just waiting for perfect fishing weather! I'm not about to waste my time out on the lake on a bad fishing day!" He gestured behind himself, "Besides, I had to wait until my whole family was free to come along."

(Soos elbowed Melody and whispered excitedly, "He called us his family!")

Stan clapped his hands proudly on Dipper and Mabel's shoulders—who looked like they hoped the sandy beach would swallow them whole—and said, "I don't see your family, Eugene, where are they?"

"Dead." With mournful dignity, Eugene said, "I outlived my wife and all three of my children. Remember? You ate potato chips during my daughter's funeral."

Stan opened his mouth, shut it, and said, "Was that the really boring one that went like an hour?"

Ford, who didn't always have the best social instincts but could tell when Stan had screwed up, started shooing the rest of the family away from the scene, elbowed Stan, and said, "Let's get to the boat. You wanted to get a prime fishing spot, right?"

Eugene looked at Ford. "Ah. You must be the real Stanford Pines?" he said. "So I'm assuming, anyway. Apparently it's hard to tell you two apart."

Stan scowled; but before he could retort, Bill pushed past him to butt into the conversation. "Is it ever! Listen, take it from someone who's made this mistake—you've got to count the fingers on these two, every time."

Eugene huffed sardonically. "So it seems." (Ford self-consciously hid his hands in his pockets and shot Bill a dark look as he shuffled off with the rest of the family.)

"Say, while I've got your attention—name's Goldie, by the way—I couldn't help but admire your cane!" He tapped the tip of his umbrella against Eugene's cane. "I'm in the market for an upgrade from this substitute I've been using! That's no blackwood, right? That looks like true ebony."

"Good eye," Eugene said, surprised. "Yes, genuine Gaboon ebony."

"Must've dropped a lot of gold on this thing," Bill said appreciatively. "You've gotta tell me where you got it."

"I'm afraid I don't remember off the top of my head..."

"That's fine! Look it up—" (he twisted around to speak over his shoulder as Stan grabbed his arm and dragged him away) "—I'm sure we'll meet again!"

About fifteen feet away, Stan growled, "What was that?"

"Networking. I've got plans for that guy," Bill said. "Hey, did you hear him? Gaboon ebony?" He laughed condescendingly. "Easiest way to make a guy look like a moron, start talking about 'true' ebonies. Didja know the word 'ebony' comes from Egyptian? And when they talked about 𓍁𓈖𓏭𓆱, they were talking about African blackwood. Wood so hard it sinks and you have to tool it like a metal! Gaboon ebony is a flimsy usurper!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"But you don't pretend you do, and that's what makes you better than that guy." Bill tugged Stan down by the shoulder. "Listen, Fisherman. I can't tell you where the fish are biting but I can tell you where they're swimming. It'll give you an advantage, but you'll need to do the rest."

Stan squinted mistrustfully at Bill. "What's the catch."

"The catch is you have to accept my help. Do you want it or not?"

"And why are you offering?"

"Because I think these lodge guys are a bunch of snobs. And they should've chosen your charity. It was funny."

That, plus Stan had been the most reluctant to let Bill live; Bill had to convince him he'd made the right choice.

Bill gave Stan directions to a bunch of fish he could see underwater by the Island Head Beast's right earhole; and then, his good deed for the day done, he headed off to claim a spot on the beach.

Ford had gone into Tate & Backle's to properly purchase the clothing they'd borrowed after the eclipse, and Soos was helping set Abuelita up with a low beach chair and a large umbrella. Bill smoothed out a patch of sand about ten feet from Abuelita so he could lay out his beach towel and dump his supplies for the day beside it. While Mabel and Melody got the boat ready, Dipper wandered around looking for sunscreen to borrow. He saw Bill's tube, snatched it without asking, and generously coated his arms, legs, and face. Bill fought back a grin and pretended not to notice.

He tossed aside his t-shirt and fish slippers, settled down on the towel in his bikini, carefully squeezed several horizontal lines of reverse sunscreen across the front of his abdomen and thighs, and drew a few vertical lines in between to break them up.

Ford trudged over from the bait shop to tell Bill, "I thought you'd like to know those ridiculous fish slippers were thirty dollars."

Bill laughed. "Whoa! Seems like a lot of money for some cheap novelty shoes! It's too bad you decided to trap me in a position where I'm too destitute and powerless to make my own purchases, isn't it?"

"All right, all right." Ford's gaze caught on the bruise-blue line discoloring the skin from Bill's left shoulder to his right hip—had he gotten injured during one of his hikes the past week? Or had that always been there? Ford didn't think he'd ever seen Bill's body shirtless, maybe it had always been here—but then he noticed Bill's lines of sunscreen and barked a laugh. "I suppose you're not planning to rub that in."

"Brilliant observation." Bill began smoothing down the lines with a finger, maintaining the pattern he'd drawn.

"You wanted to come out here to suntan? I'm sure you're already aware of the cancer risks from tanning."

"If I'm in this body long enough to get cancer, I'll welcome it." Bill lay down, laced his hands behind his head, and gave Ford an obnoxious smile. "Anyway, basal cell carcinomas are delicious. There's something kinda romantic about them, you know?"

Ford ruminated on that with thoughtful bafflement, shushed the voice in his head trying to point out that Bill was waving ever more red flags, and concluded that perhaps humans weren't meant to comprehend the romanticism of skin cancer. "Fine."

"What's everyone standing around for?" Stan asked, trudging up to Soos and Ford. "C'mon, we're burning daylight! Let's..." He trailed off, staring at Bill.

His bikini top consisted of two triangular red cups. Each cup had an enormous staring eye.

"See something ya like?" Bill asked dryly.

Stan quickly looked away. "Ugh. That's indecent."

"What is?"

"That—design!"

"What's indecent about eyeballs?"

"It looks like...!" He gestured vaguely but emphatically.

"What? What does it look like? Tell me what it looks like, Stanley."

"Never mind!" He turned away with a huff and muttered to Ford, "Can you believe him?"

"I honestly didn't notice anything until you pointed it out." Ford waved back at Bill dismissively as he followed Stan toward the boat. "Enjoy your sunburn."

"I will! I haven't had a good sunburn in centuries! That's one of the best features of earthling bodies!" Bill got comfortable and shut his eyes.

Soos finished getting Abuelita settled, headed toward the boat—but hesitated as he passed by Bill. Bill opened an eye a crack to glower up at him. "What?"

Soos mumbled, "You could've just told me you wanted to get sunburned. I mean—yesterday."

"But you didn't ask if I wanted a sunburn," Bill snapped. "You just assumed I didn't know how they work. And that's the point: you assumed I was stupid instead of considering that maybe you didn't know my plan."

"Oh. Uh... sorry." Soos rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to make you feel stupid."

Bill's irritation flared higher. He sat up. "I didn't say you made me feel stupid," he hissed, voice low, talking fast. "There's nothing that you could do to make me feel stupid. But that doesn't mean you aren't treating me like I'm stupid, does it?"

"Whoa—!" Soos raised his hands defensively. "Chill, dawg. I didn't mean—"

"What's the phrase, do ut des? 'Do unto others'? Your species's phrase. Don't treat me like I'm stupider than you and I won't have to return the favor—sound like a fair deal, Question Mark?" Bill stared up at him challengingly, brows raised.

"But th— I w— You..." Soos's protests that he'd been doing nothing but trying to do-unto-others Bill got jumbled all around under the force of Bill's spotlight glare. His shoulders slumped. "Sure," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"Good." Bill lay back down. "Get out of my sun."

Soos trudged away; and Bill took a deep breath, tried to get in a meditative mindset where he could shut off his mind, and focused on the feeling of sunshine on his body.

He'd just about managed to drop into a proper trance when Abuelita called sweetly, "Bill? Would you grab a bottle of water for me?"

His face twitched toward a frown as he was dragged back to full consciousness. Hadn't Soos left them close enough for her? Some grandson.

"Bill?"

He tried to think of an excuse to stay where he was; then growled in irritation and sat up. "Okay, okay." He couldn't afford to offend the chef with access to the poisons.

The bag with the water bottles was right behind Abuelita's elbow; but maybe her joints were stiff. Bill knelt to unzip the bag. "Another bodice ripper?" he asked, glancing at her book.

"A powerful sorceress queen has been captured by her enemies. She just learned they are led by her former apprentice."

"I can sympathize with that." Bill dragged the bag up next to Abuelita's knee so he wouldn't need to grab another bottle for her later. "Who's the love interest—guileless guard? Heroic rescuer?"

"The apprentice."

"Sympathy's gone." Bill glanced toward the boat to see what the rest of the household was up to.

They'd already reached the spot Bill had indicated and started fishing. Soos was excitedly reeling in his line; the boat listed to one side as everyone crowded around him to see what he'd brought up. Stan dipped a net in the water to scoop up his catch.

It was a boot.

Everyone's faces fell in disappointment.

Except for Ford's, who gleefully snatched up the boot he'd kicked off during the eclipse when he fell in the lake. He dumped the water out of his boot, switched places with Soos, and began fishing the same spot.

Abuelita said, "My grandson has been very nice to you."

Bill looked at her warily.

"Hasn't he?" She had a polite smile and daggers in her eyes.

He had the oddest feeling that this was going somewhere dangerous. "Yeah yeah yeah, sure he has," Bill said. "Nothing but nice. I think I'll take a little stroll, stretch these legs! See ya!" He stood to escape.

He only got a step away before the enchanted bracelet pulled tight around his wrist. He turned around to stare in amazement.

Abuelita had wrapped the slack of the bracelet thread around her hand.

Bill had made a severe miscalculation.

"So," Abuelita said. "Why are you being mean to my grandson." It was a trap all along. She'd agreed to be handcuffed to him so she could corner him for an interrogation.

"Whaaat," Bill said. "Me? No way! I'd never!"

Abuelita stared at him patiently.

"I don't even talk to him," Bill said, trying to think of a conversational escape route.

She raised a brow.

Got it. "He's just too nice, you see! I don't know how to talk to a guy that nice," he lied. "Makes things awkward!" How could any grandmother complain about her grandson being called too nice? "Yeah—not Jesús's fault at all. I don't hold it against him."

"Ah," Abuelita said, "you aren't used to people being nice to you?"

Sure, they could go with that, try to get him some pity. "Yeah! You know how it is. King of Nightmares, scourge of the multiverse—I'm not a popular guy."

"But you have friends, don't you? The scary ones you brought with you to town last year? Are they not nice to you?"

Bill hesitated, trying to figure out his story now. "Sure—they're nice to me. They're my friends! They love me! They'd do anything I say!"

"Oh. So, you're only comfortable with people being nice to you when you can control them." Abuelita smiled sweetly.

Swift, efficient, and brutal. Bill gaped at her.

"I'm glad you have nothing against Soos," she said. "And that you won't be rude to him."

Bill snapped his mouth shut. "Of course not." He gave Abuelita a tight smile. Played like a fiddle. Even though he'd been lying, she still managed to make him look like a loser. How embarrassing. "If you don't mind, I've got a sunburn to get back to."

"I'm not stopping you." She let the extra thread on the bracelet cuffs unwind from her hand and drop to the sand.

Bill trudged back to his towel, snapping as he went, "I hope this is one of those books you hate where the couple only gets hitched because they've got a baby coming."

"The sorceress has magical birth control."

"Course she does."

Bill flopped onto his towel again and stared at the sky. Ouch.

####

(I've been promising Agent Powers AND a beach episode for ages, and we finally get to them both at the same time. Let me know what y'all think so for!)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanart #fanart #my art #my writing #bill goldilocks cipher #(Dec 12 edit: chapter has been renumbered)

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absolutebl · 2 months ago

Text

This Week in BL - Why so much on right now?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Classic old school Thai BL. Of course I love it. Naïve sunshine freshman vs strict older protective boy (who already likes him but refuses to show it). Is he grumpy or just gay and tired of all of these women? We don’t know. We don’t care. We just want to see them fake a relationship. And that’s what we’re getting. I love it. I also love the friendship group, and that the younger brother is in it and he has some of the same magic BL-hottie superpowers as his older brother. It’s great.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 10 of 15 - Phun actually turns into dangerous babygirl when he is flirting, who knew? (Dangerous Babygirl is a new archetype I have just invented by the way. Yes, I am pleased with myself.) Noh, who is a nice boy, doesn’t stand a chance. Neither does Jeed, since this new babygirl superpower gives Phun a damn near perfect “back off bitch” face.

The arm drape public claiming, it gets me every time. Has done since SOTUS. Nong Mick is hero-level in this version, hands-down my favorite character this time around (and a non-entity last time). I love him so much I can’t stand it. I haven’t updated my 1:1 comparison yet this week, didn’t have time to rewatch 2014, but I will later tonight. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here.

Kidnap (Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - What an absolutely excellent final episode. Smiley kisses!

Conclusion

A cute if patently absurd little show about a stuntman who is somehow convinced to kidnap a rich kid except they fall in love. It takes itself a little more seriously than it deserves for such a silly plot and some crappy stunts and contradictory content, but it was a pleasantly romantic experience all around, and I enjoyed myself. Extra credit for Q in that perfect blue color throughout. No complaints, a solid BL. 8/10

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist (First) and a cocky mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy so…... this gonna be interesting.

Buckle up buttercups I got thoughts:

Frankly, I haven’t decided if this is good or so bad and so camp that it’s good? The latter I suspect. Either way, I’m enjoying it very much, but I had very little doubt that I would. This falls into so many of my wheelhouses. Not just the premise but the casting and the approach and the script. They pretty much knocked it out of the park with the first episode: one night stand + safe sex + linguistic negotiation = I’m in! During the opening sequence I spent the entire time worried about how many fingerprints Bison was leaving everywhere. And then I realized this show is going to require DEMAND we turn our brains entirely off.

We are in KinnPorshce / The Sign territory people. Take emergency precautions! Do not engage brain meats!

Kiss Me Kate only gay and hitmen? Frankly, it sells itself. The music is extremely stupid though. (Brain, stop it!) I gotta say that FirstKhao are good because…… FirstKhao. But JoongDunk are absolutely perfectly cast. Like: couldn’t be a better pair in these roles. Dunk, in particular, is slaying. I did not have Dunk as Petruchio down on my “best casting choice of all time” BL bingo card, but apparently there he is. Awesome.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 8 of 16 - I’m warming up to the second couple a little bit. I actually don’t mind a bully romance the way some do. But this isn’t quite hitting the notes that I want from one. Still, I found this week more engaging than last week.

Secret Love (? YT?) 1-12 of 81 eps - They dropped 12 eps at once randomly on YT totaling about 20 min. So of course, I watched it. Because I have no self-control and STEPBROTHERS! Adopted into a rich family, boy falls in love with heir. But when he is made the heir instead, everything goes wrong. Now enemies the two boys reunite and sparks! I hate this format but dammit I love this utter dross. It’s very early Chinese BL feeling but from Thailand. I don’t care. It’s so stupidly great. This is my kind of BL.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - There is something sweetly innocent and earnest about this show. It reminds me of Takara and Amagi or even Light On Me but less stiff - this one is quintessentially quirky and casually Thai about it. It’s interesting that this has an 18+ rating, which means it’s either gonna go very violent or sexy or both. Right now I can’t imagine that, it doesn’t suit. But I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Junior with his Mean Girl crop top moment is the goddess of the week though. Fierce queen penguin.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 4 of 24 - I love the side couple so damn much. How are they so adorable? Still not wild about the mains, and not likely to get there anytime soon. That said, I did like seeing the “sleeping in your boyfriend‘s class while he gives you his jacket” trope drop. We haven’t had that one for a really long time. My Engineer maybe?

Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I did find this installment kind of boring. I just don’t like actors as main characters. Much as I’m enjoying this show and I think the actors are doing a good job, I really do wish it was more like what we had been sold on: Connected reborn characters fated to be together over and over again. Not this weird little mishmash of whatever. I’m now annoyed by a format I was initially charmed by.

Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10-11 of 12 - still on hold until it ends or I can cope with the pain. I just can’t go into darkness right now.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 3 of 11 - SNIFF TEST! But done by Japan so it’s that much better and more kinky. The way H looks at M pretty much defines naked lust. “I got extra beat up so you’d take pity on me and then I admitted it to you” is so damn warped I can’t even with this boy. This feral kid is gonna drive me feral. The power and the control and the execution of this show is just spectacular. I keep thinking about it after its done and telling people IRL about it. (I rarely talk BL IRL.) It’s classy. I do love it when Japan does classy BL for us.

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 13 - so completely and utterly adorable. The learning sign language thing! I loved it so much.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 of 12 eps - Possibly one of the best confessions of the year I have to say. Also a wonderful character growth arc for our lawyer. Exactly as one might hope. The plot twist was slightly predictable but still adds a delicious note of tension to our final episodes.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 7-8 of 12 - You don’t want me but you won’t let anybody else have me either. The song of the repressed seme. I did like the irrational jealousy moment and a few other bits, of course the crying kiss. You know I love a crying kiss. Even if it’s a somewhat censored one. But this is also leaning a little bit darker than I want at the moment. This being China, I anticipate the darkness and doom getting worse not better.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 9 of ? - The incredible migrating lip injury continues. Could we please get on with the BL aspect of this show? I’m getting frustrated as well as slightly bored at this juncture. Pacing darlings. Pacing.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Still not sure. I think I like this better than the original, but I’m confused. I did make disgusted scoff noises and say “oh dear” a couple of times. Which makes me sound like a World War II grandpa (only the housemate's cat noticed), but is also classic me when profoundly disappointed by a piece of media. That’s said, the sex scene was pretty good. In the end, I wasn’t as frustrated by this version of these characters, but they didn’t have as many highs or lows as the original. So first half probably works out about the same in my all-purpose rating system. The true proof in the pudding is going to be couple number 2 tho......

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, but I did not find any English subs for it. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. So I hope it gets some sort of international or something at some point. for now I’ll put it to the wayside.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

In Case You Missed it

Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special on 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally. Let me know if you found it.

The Bangkok Podcast covered Marriage Equality in Thailand: More Complex Than it Seems. They missed some of the point and all of the queer perspective. But it's a local lawyer talking about it and how it was implemented, which is quite interesting.

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave AKA Ore-sama Yakuza to Hetare Shachiku: Kuni wo Koeta Jingi Naki Dekiai, Japan YT. A 30 min slice of ridiculousness. This mini walked out the back of one of my 1999 yaoi (you know those little shorts they always had along with the main story?) and randomly got cut together by some helpful malcontent, tumbled into my YT feed like a Taiwanese prat fall, and I couldn't be happier.

This is the Cliff's notes of a story that could have been amazing, but I adored it anyway. Basically what it says on the tin: office cutie from Taiwan working in Japan runs across hot AF mafia hit man beating up lesser thugs. Falls instantly in love, turns out so does the yakuza. They end up together for...... reasons? (one is cute and the other is cool?) That's it. It's dumb and I loved it. 7/10 because it really isn't good, but it lives on in a very warped corner of my shriveled old heart.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still to come:

11/28 Spare Me Your Mercy (Thai Thurs iQIYI) 8 eps on OneD (no word on inter) - Increased rates of deaths in terminal patients has a police captain investigating the palliative care doctor with whom he's fallen in love. Their relationship deepens but the mystery persists, driven by mistrust. Adapted from the novel "Euthanasia" by Sammon (Triage, Manner of Death) stars some old guard BL actors: Tor Thanapob from Hormones as the doctor and (fuck me YES) Jaylerr from Great Men Academy and goddamn Grean Fictions as the captain!

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We stan a smitten seme who's too reserved for his own good. Sunshine is gonna have this boy wrapped around his little finger in no time. (Well in 12 eps, but we know what we like!) Your Sky

King behavior.

Dangerous Babygirl behavior.

Both Love Sick 2024.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

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bunnithechubs · 2 months ago

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Episode 13- The Final Choice

Well guys, it’s been a long road but we made it and so did Darius King! Congrats @rasoyas your dilf managed to win the heart of the brattiest girl in San Myshuno. I think we all sort of saw this coming when he won every competition but one 😭 poor man wasn’t letting anyone get a moment with Penny. I’ve loved seeing their relationship grow and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for them!!

THANK YOU to ALL the creators who sent in contestants. You all supplied me with a great set of toxic men and I really couldn’t have done this without all of you. If you’ve been watching this challenge go down, THANK YOU. It’s meant a lot to me and it would mean even more if you showed all the creators who helped make this happen some love too. I’ve tagged them and their sim at the bottom of this post.

Penny isn’t an easy sim to please let alone contain but Darius was the perfect fit for her. He was gentle when she needed him to be and firm when she asked him. I think him being older helped out a lot (maybe we all understand why Jasper goes for cougars). Despite this being the end of the challenge this won’t be the end for Darius and Penny’s story! They will be in the SLATE rotation once I enjoy a bit of a break from story telling.

Thank you again to all the creators and those of you who tagged along for the ride! ❤️

Creators and their contestants:

Adriel by @simsmoonie

Atlas by @belsasim

Blaze by @aniraklova

Cristian by @rot-robbie29

Denton by @changingplumbob

Diego by @magalhaessims

Darius by @rasoyas

Jain by @invisiblequeen

Jamison by @squeezesublime

Jasper by @duusheen

Jaxon by @neishroom

Luca by @coastalcowplant

Raiden by @riverofjazzsims

Silas by @moonwoodhollow

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #the sims 4 #gp2 #gp 2 #gameplay2 #game play 2 #the sims 4 edit #ts4 edit #pennys bc #NOT ME CRYINGGGGG #congrats!!!#I think we all sort of knew zaddy was taking the prize #ugh its overrrrr

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maenefa · 15 days ago

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This kind of Denethor discourse is so frustrating to me that I am literally pacing back and forth like a panther in a zoo enclosure. Ugggggggghhhhh

A lot of people will tell you that the moral of The Lord of the Rings is “never lose hope,” and that Denethor is bad because he loses hope.

Please read THIS and THIS and especially THIS, which is one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking meditations on LotR you’ll ever read. Tolkien’s ideas about hope are so much more radical than “hope good despair bad.”

Denethor—Tolkien’s Denethor, not Peter Jackson’s Denethor—is unsettling because he tries to hope, but his hope isn’t strong enough to save him. Here are his thoughts on hope, just a few days before his death:

The time will not be long. In what is left, let all who fight the Enemy in their fashion be at one, and keep hope while they may, and after hope still the hardihood to die free.

Denethor has a more “realist” worldview than Gandalf or Faramir, but he’s not a nihilist. He’s still hanging onto hope even though he’s grieving Boromir and he’s positive that Frodo is going to be captured by Sauron. He only breaks when Faramir is mortally wounded and he sees the black ships in the palantir. And I don’t mean he gives up, I mean his mind snaps:

And as [Pippin] watched, it seemed to him that Denethor grew old before his eyes, as if something had snapped in his proud will, and his stern mind was overthrown.

Tolkien repeatedly uses language like “madness,” “madman,” “he is not himself” and “his mind was overthrown.” It’s not subtle!

Denethor is having a psychotic episode. His culpability is reduced, either partially or totally; we can’t know for certain. But I don’t think that everything he says and does in his last moments is “the real Denethor.”

We can do our best and try to have hope, but sometimes life crushes us. How are we supposed to live with the knowledge that this can happen?

Tolkien was haunted by the idea of heroes who fail, heroes who are crushed by their burdens:

Frodo indeed 'failed' as a hero, as conceived by simple minds: he did not endure to the end; he gave in, ratted. (Letter 246)

….I think it can be observed in history and experience that some individuals seem to be placed in 'sacrificial' positions: situations or tasks that for perfection of solution demand powers beyond their utmost limits, even beyond all possible limits for an incarnate creature in a physical world – in which a body may be destroyed, or so maimed that it affects the mind and will. Judgement upon any such case should then depend on the motives and disposition with which he started out, and should weigh his actions against the utmost possibility of his powers, all along the road to whatever proved the breaking-point. (Letter 246)

Tolkien himself tended to judge Denethor harshly, but the character fits very well into the same template as Frodo: a “sacrificial” person who is pushed beyond his limits. The palantir aged him and weakened his mental health, but what truly pushed him over the edge was the wounding of Faramir: Tolkien says that Denethor “maintained the integrity of his personality until the final blow of the (apparently) mortal wound of his only surviving son.”

It’s easy to judge Denethor for using the palantir (although Tolkien said that he had the right to use it and Gandalf admitted that the palantir’s knowledge had often proved useful!) but what should Denethor have done differently regarding sending Faramir into battle? We know that the defense of Osgiliath was necessary because Tolkien had the Rohirrim arrive at the exact moment the Witch King is about to ride through the gate of Minas Tirith. If Faramir hadn’t delayed Mordor’s army, the Rohirrim would have showed up to a conquered city.

Denethor believed that it was necessary to send Faramir to Osgiliath… and he was right! But the pain of being responsible for Faramir’s death was too great for him to bear. You can say that his craving for information killed him, but it’s just as accurate to say that his love for Faramir killed him.

Gandalf tells Denethor’s servants that they were “caught in a net of warring duties,” and this is also true of Denethor. His duty as a father conflicts with his duty as the leader of Gondor, and the strain destroys him.

It may be true that Denethor’s need for control is a character flaw, but I wonder about his final use of the palantir. His son appears to be dying: why does he leave his side to go look in the palantir? I actually think this was a hopeful act: Denethor was hoping to see the Rohirrim, or some kind of good news about the war, some indication that Faramir’s death would not be in vain. But the palantir shows him that he sent his son to die for nothing.

It’s the tragedy of Denethor lamenting “I sent my son forth, unthanked, unblessed, out into needless peril” and dying before he can learn that the battle wasn’t needless… you can’t reduce this tragedy to a morality play!

Okay, I can’t deny that the palantir is a very topical analogy for the internet/smartphones/the tyranny of “data” in general.

But Denethor is so much more than a blackpilled internet doomer, and I will defend him forever.

#denethor #tolkien #lotr #Denethor defense #leave Denethor alone #look how they massacred my boy

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chiaknight · 27 days ago

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Thinking about Britt during this dark time and how she helped one of Awdry's great characters, Henry, become fantastic in the span of one episode- Henry's Forest.

Henry has a great backstory, but in terms of personality he wasn't exactly unique in the RWS- which is what most of his classic era appearances are directly based on. However, I like to believe that Britt and David teased their take on Henry a few times very subtly.

These screencaps are from Tenders and Turntables and Dirty Work. In the first scene, Gordon is delegating his plan for the strike. In the second, the big three are complaining about the names Duck supposedly called them.

I just find it interesting that they specifically chose his sad faceplate for these moments, as it implies that instead of being angry or combative like Gordon and James, Henry feels more unsure, hurt, or self-conscious. They are brief, but in my eyes these were showing Henry's sensitive side before Henry's Forest was ever written.

But then, of course, season three came along, and so did Henry's Forest.

This episode is so beloved because it creatively expands Henry's character in a way that fits Awdry's writing for him.

It always bothered me how Henry as a person never changed after the Flying Kipper, which was more or less a potential near-death experience for him. But Henry gaining an appreciation for life, for the natural beauty all around him makes perfect sense.

They also gave Henry the role we all know he has: the "nicest" of the Big Three. He has his grumpy moments, but overall he is agreeable, hardworking, and obedient to the Fat Controller.

He also doesn't subscribe to the "won't pull trucks/little engines are inferior" ideology- at least, not anymore. Not since the crash. And why should he? Ever since that day, Henry learned that there is so much more to life. He won't be around forever, so there's no sense in wasting time fussing over stupid things like that. He'd rather focus on being a good engine, 'cause now he finally has the chance to do that.

This kind of reimagining suits Awdry's writing for the character perfectly, as surely such a drastic change in Henry's life would cause him to see the world in new way. Cause him to become more aware of the world around him, more sensitive to the people and engines around him, more comfortable with who he is.

It's a shame that Awdry didn't really care much for Henry's Forest, because what Britt and David did for his character propelled Henry, my favorite character, to new heights.

Rest in Peace, Britt.

Thank you. For everything.

#britt allcroft #ttte #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #ttte henry #henry the green engine #chia's thoughts #chia's readings

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rootspiral · 1 month ago

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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 2

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

I'm glad nicky came up with a cool new tune because according to period movies and shows greensleeves is the only song anyone ever knew

look at that meek little smile, ughhhh. nicky is like two days old and this asshole has already figured out he's the perfect prop for her murder sprees. and these poor women are calling her sister and are willing to help too.

the spell is te accipimus in circulum, we accept you in the circle, and yes that makes me cry a little. we accept you in our community. and the spell is yellow air magic, which sounds like the most empathic kind if Lilia is any indication.

that's interesting, you can't really tell that well from screencaps but go rewatch the scene, this witch is making mushrooms grow with yellow magic instead of green?? is it just a spell (she is holding a book) or have I been getting it all wrong and color has nothing to do with the type of magic one has?

or maybe??? the color depends on the coven you're in?? the salemites all had blue magic for example. and now that I think about it the stone circle is a protection spell but it's not red/orange.

the meaning of this scene is so glaring dear lord. agatha was never going to give these women a chance to prove that yes, there are people out there who could love and help and accept her. she has shut herself up to that possibility a long time ago.

and she stole the soup too. awful.

I've seen all the different theories about nicky needing to feed on witches too, or nicky needing soul sacrifices to survive because he's the son of death etc. we don't have enough evidence to prove anything yet, but personally I headcanon nicky as a totally normal kid, that makes this story even more tragic.

and aww that baby suckling on the little pudgy fist

nicky doesn't look that happy about what he's been asked to do, does he?

we establish that nicky was sickly (maybe he was born with some internal defect that rio temporarily patched up?) we also see him steal the bell agatha will use for her Road scam in the future.

and we meet yet another witch being kind and wanting to help.

agatha: I love this six year old so much I'm gonna make him accessory to murder

dO yOU ShaME YouR MOtHER

and the big fake gasp too. as usual this bitch has conned a whole community

like, she's convinced herself that other witches are bad and are after her WHILE relying on witches's good hearts to con and kill them. what sort of mental gymnastics???

color goes from yellow to purple. nicky waits outside while his mom commits murder, it's not a good look on agatha. completely fucked up, actually.

(I'm terrified that the goat will end up being an agent of mephisto or something idiotic like that, lemme tell you. I hope they're just keeping it for milk and company.)

and here's the million dollar question. nicky has seen his mom kill literally since he was born, and now he's old enough to start realizing what that means.

oooh I know that look, that's agatha when she's put on the spot. she avoids his gaze, she can't be sincere with him.

and of course she's teaching herself spells from a book. nerrrrrrd

nicky, bless his soul, appears to give it a good thought and then offers a practical suggestion. I guess he wouldn't mind to have a roof on his head and some friends too.

GREAT acting from kathryn here. the quick OH SHIT face followed by the super final NO, with her jaw so rigid. in typical agatha fashion, when she's upset she becomes avoidant.

this is evanora's legacy. despite agatha's immense love for nicky, she is passing all that pain down and inflicting it on him.

remember when she called billy a survivor? this is the greatest asset in her opinion, the one she wants to teach her son. the truth is, she is angry at witches because she is scared of them, she's scared of being targeted again. but look at that kid's dark circles, I can't believe she's making him sleep in the woods, sick as he is!

really really fantastic subtlety. agatha wants to sound wise and strong, but she looks scared, uncertain, guilty.

see how nicky looks at agatha while he sings? he's checking to see if she's noticing, because his mom likes music and likes his voice. he's afraid he has upset her and wants to make her smile. he tried to reason with her, and now he tries to soothe her. this is what happens when you have an immature parent, a child will want to help, they will try to fix things. they'll end up parenting their parent, and it should always be the other way round.

agatha takes the bait. she's relieved that the conversation has moved to a safer subject. but oh, this script is so good. this is a mostly innocent, mostly sweet remark, but with a possessive undertone. don't forget that you are mine, she says.

and still, the love is real. even in a fucked up situation like this, these moment of happiness are precious and genuine and will linger on. look at how adoringly nicky looks at his mom, she's literally the sun and center of his small world, and that's how agatha likes it: she created nicky because she needed someone who could be hers without any baggage or consequences. but it turns out that raising a child is not a cheat code for love, it's one of the most difficult, most significant and impactful decisions a human can make.

go to episode 9 part 3

#agatha all along #agatha deep dive #agatha harkness #nicholas scratch #character analysis

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covenofagatha · 2 months ago

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If you are able to. Could you please write an AgathaxReader where reader is very inscure about herself. Specifically the size of her breasts and Agatha shows reader just how much she appreciates every part of even the parts reader doesn't like. Maybe some soft smut.

(I don't see a lot about this.) But as always, only write this if you are comfortable with it.

💜🖤

Hope you enjoy!

What makes you beautiful

When you're feeling a little self-conscious about your body, Agatha takes it upon herself to make you feel better

Word count: 2400

Warnings: body issues, low self-esteem, soft sex, oral, fluff, praise

It’s your fourth date with Agatha and you wonder how mad the older woman would be if you cancelled.

It’s not that you didn’t want to see her – because of course you do, she was great company and so hot and her lips on yours made you see stars – but you’re having a bit of a rough day.

Before one of your classes, you had gone into the bathroom only to find one of the most perfect-looking girls on the planet complaining about a microscopic pimple on her face to her just-as-perfect two best friends.

You know it shouldn’t have set you off the way it did, but watching three girls who were naturally gorgeous with clear skin and big boobs and curly hair talk about how “awful” they looked touched a sore spot.

Going into the big stall, you tried really hard to ignore your reflection in the mirror. You’re not really sure when that started happening, but ever since middle school, when you had the worst acne you’d ever seen, you stopped wanting to look at yourself.

It’s a lot better now, six months of Accutane did wonders for you, but you still have scars on your cheeks and wrinkles and just so many more blemishes than anyone else seemed to have.

But that had been enough to send your insecurities flaring up, about your face, your body, your age, your inexperience, especially when you thought about Agatha. And now you’re in a spiral of low self-esteem and doubt.

You had met Agatha while working as a barista. The first time she had walked through the doors, you had found yourself absolutely enchanted by everything about her: her long dark hair, her blue eyes, the confidence absolutely radiating off her. She was perfect.

And you were the tongue-tied barista who kept stuttering while repeating her order because of her intense gaze on you.

She just smirked though.

She then started making comments about how pretty you were when you would bring her the coffee, but you thought she was just being sweet.

Until Agatha finally asked you out, teasing you for not picking up on her flirting. You had just stared at her, completely dumbfounded, feeling like a complete idiot.

And things had gone well! She had taken you out to a nice dinner on your first date, a movie on your second, and pottery painting on your third.

Dropping you off at your dorm after each one like a perfect gentlewoman, never doing more than brushing a soft kiss against your lips.

And now, tonight, the fourth date is at her house.

Mostly by your doing.

When you had found out that the older woman had never even seen an episode of The Office, one of your favorite shows, you made it your personal mission to change that.

You can’t cancel, you know that. Plus, you don’t really want to. The older woman always finds a way to make you feel better.

But you sigh while putting on some light makeup, cursing your brain for being so affected by the girls earlier.

You know Agatha likes you. You know this. You can see it in the way her eyes sparkle when she smiles at you and the way she laughs when you say something silly and the way she gives you the best hugs when she drops you off after your dates.

And there’s no way Agatha would be with someone if she didn’t want to, least of all with a college kid half her age.

You chant those facts in your head like a mantra on the drive over to her house and all the way to her front door. You raise your hand to knock but it swings open to reveal Agatha in jeans and an oversized button-down shirt.

“Hey, baby,” she says, stepping aside to let you come in. You press a kiss to her cheek and she returns it and then leads you to the living room. It’s your first time at her house and you can’t help but take everything in.

It’s very her. From the artwork on the walls to the decor on the coffee table, you can tell that it’s her house, and you love it.

“So, do you want to eat now or just dive right in?” Agatha asks, grabbing the remote to the television and offering it to you. It’s still early afternoon and you aren’t too hungry, plus you’re really not in the mood to eat.

You take the remote from her and click the power button. “Can we eat in a little bit?” She nods and sits on the couch, patting the spot next to her. You happily sit down and she wraps an arm around you to hold you close. It’s the most contact you’ve had with Agatha and her fingers against your lower back are heating you up.

Navigating to the show, you find the pilot episode and warn her that the entire first season is bad. She laughs melodically and kisses your temple.

Halfway through it, you start getting antsy. Your leg begins to bounce and you tap your fingers absentmindedly against your thigh.

You’ve already seen it and it hasn’t gotten any less cringey, plus you can smell Agatha’s sweet perfume.

“You okay?” Agatha asks quietly, noticing that you’ve gotten restless. You hum in agreement, tilting your head to look up at her, when you find her staring back at you.

More specifically, at your mouth.

You close the gap before you can even think about it, and she smiles against you in surprise. At first, it’s just tentative, small grazes but then it becomes more; your lips part for her hot tongue to slip inside and you moan at the feeling and taste of her.

The kiss gets heavier and her hands blindly help you maneuver until you’re sitting in her lap. She fumbles for the remote and then you can hear the television go quiet before she gently sucks at your bottom lip and her fingers slide down your back until they’re resting at your waist.

“Agatha,” you breathe, tugging at her hair, shifting on her. She plays with the bottom of your shirt and then slips her hands underneath it so her skin is bare against your hips. You gasp at the warmth and you begin to feel a pull in the lower part of your stomach.

But then she grabs onto the hem and, looking right into your eyes, asks, “Can I take this off?” Panic slowly starts to fill you even though you try to fight it.

“Oh, um, yeah, okay,” you say, nerves evident in your voice, and her eyes widen.

“Is everything okay? Sorry, I don’t mean to push, we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do,” she says, yanking her hands away from your body, and you can tell how guilty she feels.

You take her hands in yours, interlacing your fingers. “No, I want to, it’s just…” you trail off, looking anywhere but at her in the room.

“What, doll? You can tell me anything, you know that.”

You take a deep breath. “I’m just a little self-conscious. Like about myself and my body.” And then the words start to pour out of your mouth. “I just wish my face and my stomach and my boobs and like all of it were different.”

Tears prick your eyes from embarrassment at your outburst and you dare to glance at her, expecting her to be laughing or something.

But she’s solemnly looking right back at you. “Baby, you are so perfect,” she says so softly that it almost makes your heart melt.

You scoff in disbelief and she kisses your nose, your forehead, and then both of your cheeks. She tilts your face up so she can kiss your chin.

“Every part of you is so beautiful.”

You blush furiously. “M’kay.Thank you,” you mumble, not knowing how to deal with the praise. “You don’t have to say that.”

“Say what, doll? The truth?” You try to squirm away but she doesn’t let you. “Can I show you how perfect I think you are?”

You look, really look, into her eyes and see only compassion and earnestness. You nod. “Okay.” She smiles and turns your face so she can press her lips against every blemish you have on your right cheek, and then repeats on the left side.

You’re almost completely overcome by emotion when she whispers “Beautiful.” You drag her mouth to yours, needing to feel more of her.

This time, you don’t wait for her to ask to take your shirt off. You reach down and pull it over your head and get immense pleasure in the way she looks down and groans.

“Oh, doll,” she sighs, hands tracing over your stomach and up to the edge of your bra. You chew on your bottom lip, still feeling hints of insecurity. You know boob size is something that you rationally shouldn’t be bothered by, but you still wish they were bigger. Agatha reaches around you to toy with the clasp. “Can I?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, tensing just a little when she slides the bra off you. You fight the urge to cover yourself but Agatha just sharply inhales.

“God, look at you,” she says, more to herself than to you, and then her hands are cupping you. Your head rolls back as her thumbs play with your nipples. “You’re so fucking perfect, baby. Your body is so fucking perfect.”

She leans down and licks up your breast, chuckling at your moan. Her teeth nip at the undersides of the slight curvature and your breathing has quickly increased, the heat in your stomach rapidly growing. When her tongue flicks over your nipples and she sucks them into her mouth, it’s like there’s a wire running straight from your breasts to your cunt and she’s lighting it up.

“Agatha,” you plead but she stays right where she is, dragging her mouth over every square inch of your chest until you’re dripping. She goes painstakingly slow, paying so much more attention to your breasts than you ever thought possible, and you’ve turned into a whimpering, needy mess on top of her.

“Why don’t you lay on your back, baby?” She suggests and you move quicker than you’d ever have to climb off her lap and readjust on the couch, all your insecurities forgotten and washed away with Agatha’s lips.

But she’s committed to making sure that you feel good about yourself. Her mouth moves downwards, scraping her teeth gently against your ribs and stomach, against the little pouch that you can’t get rid of no matter how hard you try, leaving a trail of saliva. It tickles when she dips her tongue into your belly button and you giggle, but her featherlight kisses make you feel more accepting of yourself than ever. Goosebumps have risen all over you even though there is a fire in your belly.

“So pretty,” she whispers, eyes flicking back up to you to take in your needy state.

“Agatha,” you whimper again, begging for more, desperately needing for her mouth that feels so good against you to just go a little lower.

She chuckles and you can feel the vibrations against your skin, making you roll your hips. “Patience, honey,” she shushes. “Let me worship you and show you just how much I appreciate all of you.” A small sound escapes your lips when she playfully bites at your pelvic bone and she goes back to painting your stomach with her mouth.

And when she finally, finally, tugs at the waistband of your shorts, you don’t have a single doubt or insecurity in your head. You raise your legs up to help her take them off and then she drags down your underwear so slowly it makes you even more crazy for her.

“Baby, you’re so wet,” she remarks, hands stroking up and down your inner thighs.

You clench around nothing and whine. “Please, Aggie, I need you.” She sinks her teeth into the sensitive flesh on the insides of your legs and then soothes the spots with her tongue.

“You’re so perfect, princess. You’re so beautiful, every part of you. Just the picture of flawlessness,” she says, at last stroking through your folds with her tongue. Your head falls back against the pillow at how good, how hot, she feels against you and a moan slips out of your mouth. You’re already so worked up from her teasing and she knows just what to do to build up your pleasure quickly. She knows it won’t take long and she’s not going to drag it out.

“So pretty, such a pretty pussy,” Agatha says absentmindedly, dipping her tongue inside you, curling it, and then dragging it up to swirl at your clit. Your hands tangle in her hair while she continues moving her mouth on you, making little noises that reverberate against your cunt and only heighten the pleasure.

“Agatha, so close,” you groan, grinding her hips against her face even more to chase the feeling building up in you.

She pulls away for one second. “Cum for me, my perfect, beautiful princess,” she says and you gasp, the praise getting you to the edge. And then her teeth scrape against your clit and she sucks hard on it, which throws you over and you cum all over her face, hips still rolling while she continues to lap at you.

You whimper when it becomes too much and you tug on her hair to pull her back up into a long kiss.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

She smiles against your lips. “Feel better, baby?” You nod your head and clasp her cheeks to kiss her even deeper. “Do you want to turn the TV back on?”

“Can we just cuddle for a bit?” You ask hopefully, and her face lights up. Your heart soars with so much fondness for this older woman.

“Of course, doll.” She wraps you up in a blanket from the couch and you settle in next to her, wrapping an arm and a leg around her. She kisses your head. “You’re so perfect, don’t ever think otherwise.”

And for maybe the first time ever, you believe it.

#agatha harkness x fem!reader #agatha x reader #agatha harkness x reader #agatha x you #agatha harkness x you #agatha harkness smut #agatha smut #agatha all along

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tinytablepodcast · 1 month ago

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Help Us Choose Our Next Game!

We received so many wonderful submissions from the indie ttrpg community of games to play next on Tiny Table. We need your help to narrow them down! We will be taking the top 3 games to Patreon for our patrons in the Mini and Micro tier to vote on.

Reactors and Romance: Reactors and Romance is a rules-light RPG about flirting while piloting a giant robot. You only have one stat, and that is your HEAT 🔥. Your HEAT measures how hot your mech's reactor is getting, and how hot of a pilot you are 😉 Will you fight or flirt your way through battle? Can you keep your mech from overheating? What will it be hotshot?

To Infinity...: Inspired by Alien and The Thing, "To Infinity..." is a tabletop social deduction game where up to 4 players and 1 GM need to escape on a spaceship from an alien monster who killed the rest of the crew. What none of the survivors know is that this isn't just a monster, the alien could be any one of them...

Hellborn Descended: Hellborn Descended is an infernal TTRPG set in a modern Hell, inspired by comics and shows such as Hellboy and Helluva Boss. In Hellborn, players take on the role of sinners, demons, and fallen angels, working together as mercenaries to attain wealth, fame, and power, or gloriously die trying. Check out their kickstarter!

Darkest Hour: Darkest Hour is a horror tabletop game inspired by horror movies of all kinds, featuring a group of monster hunters attempting to put a stop to a malicious supernatural entity in a single night. Over the course of six rounds, known as the Hours, the hunters must use their abilities to establish benefits that will aid them even as the haunt grows in strength and the hunters become less effective. As Blackest Night envelops them, the haunt feels insurmountable -- will the hunters find the haunt's true weakness and destroy it for good, or be whittled down until only a Final Girl remains? Featuring six haunts, six locations ripe for the haunting, and six unique hunter archetypes, Darkest Hour is perfect for one-shots for 2-5 players, and can either be run by a GM, or communally without a GM.

Dawn of the Orcs: Dawn of the Orcs is a GMless dark fantasy worldbuilding and roleplaying game. Play the magical technocrats who create the first orcs as living weapons and tell the story of how the Orcs become their own people. It can be played seriously as a fantasy transhumanist Dr. Strangelove, or as a wacky game of Saruman by committee.

The Trains of the Glorious Republic of the People: The Trains of the Glorious Republic of the People is a tabletop RPG where players take on the roles of a train crew in a fictional 1930s totalitarian state. Your mission is simple: get yourselves and your unique train from point A to point B though things are never that easy on the tracks of the Glorious Republic. The game requires only d6s, pen, paper, and, above all, your loyalty to the party.

Paratype: Paratype takes place in the aftermath of an apocalypse where giant bugs have reclaimed the earth. For humans survival is a challenge-one helped by the invention of a device that grants strange new buggy abilities. Paratype is a game about survival, humanity and so, so many bugs.

Broke Wizards: Broke Wizards is a light, silly game about working class sorcery. Play as students of the prestigious Audment's Academy of the Arcane who must go delving for treasure in order to pay tuition. To cast magic, wizards must use items found around their dormitory as makeshift spell ingredients - and then use their real-life argumentative skills to convince the living force of magic that yes, actually, a dirty shot glass is a great ingredient for casting a spell of water breathing, thank you very much.

RiskTaker: RiskTaker is a GM-less system built around players making big moves with big risks. Each sessions revolves around "The Scene," a climactic event like an episode's final battle in a superhero TV show, or the aftermath of a heist gone wrong. Players take turns either doing exposition scenes to give context to The Scene and built character relationships, or Influencing The Scene, which means they take a decisive action and decide how effective that action will be. But watch out - the more impactful your action, the more things can go wrong, and the more likely it is that they will. But what's a good story without a few Risks?

'til it kills us: in ‘til it kills us, you play as a group of young, reckless queer activists fighting to make a difference in the world. you’re angry, and you’re scared, and rightfully so. not to mention, you’re all a little bit fucked up. whether you’re dealing with issues at home, struggling with mental illness, or just learning to stand on your own two feet, life isn’t easy. but you’re also in love with the world, and with each other, so you keep fighting anyway. it’s the only thing you can do. the only problem is your magic. sure, it protects you. sure, it helps you fight. but you can feel it – feeding on the most unpleasant parts of you. and the longer you have this magic, the more you fear by those feelings. you worry it might be powering but you keep fighting. what else is there? remember what you always said: we’re going to keep on fighting ‘til it kills us.

If you submitted a game to us and don't see it on the list, don't fret! We will be hosting many polls like this and your game is still in consideration. If you game is on here and isn't chosen to move on to our next poll, also don't fret! We may add it on to the next poll again.

#indie ttrpgs #indie ttrpg #ttrpg #tabletop rpg #ttrpg podcast #tiny table #reactors and romance #paratype #'til it kills us #RiskTaker #Broke Wizards #Dawn of the Orcs #The Trains of the Glorious Republic of the People #Darkest Hour #to infinity...#hellborn descended

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