#not dropping names and ofc I think you can dislike things. you can dislike the finale bc it was so rushed. it literally HAD to be rushed

[supremefloof]

episode 6 thoughts: DANG

Shang Chao is one of the characters of all time. spoilers below! this post is also very long.

THESE DANG ENERGY DRINKS ARE IMPORTANT! This shot is symbolic of something!

these could be "Electro Energy" brand drinks (the brand mentioned later to show how Yang Cheng E-soul is costing money for Mighty Glory).

Is that a "no. 8" or a "no. 0"? 8 would make sense but there's problems with that, those being -> 1. is E-soul still rank number eight here? and 2.:

the trailer shows that this drink belongs to X, with the character presumably meaning 1,0, or some really sadistic way of writing X. (secret, even more sadistic evil third thing is that that's like, a three or something and the timeline is fucked). the drink NEXT to it belongs to E-soul (maybe those are electro energy). So, maybe this drink means that E-soul is X in Year 36. ofc, we have no idea what time this trailer takes place.

it looks like this stupid extremely hard to read borderline secret code font (/hj) is going to be a frequent occurrence! hopefully somebody with more dedication than me can decode it fully at some point.

background ads continue to be very intriguing. where exactly does this take place? we got "langley & co booksellers", "malibu surf shop", alongside chinese signs. probably a lot are just easter eggs but very fun!

In the interrogation room, I really interpreted YC's animated flashback sequence as a panic attack.

he's stuck on two ends from "nothing" to "way too much". He doesn't feel he belongs on either, and yet he's self-internalized a bunch of stuff at the same time. he's like lin ling on trauma steroids.

I like Xia Qing (i think thats her name?) better than I thought I would. girl knows what she wants and drops hints! she's also the most normal well adjusted person I've seen in this entire show.

i really, genuinely for the love of god hope those criminals weren't telling the truth about YC hiring them. If time travel theory is real I'm flipping a table. I dislike time travel theory but I can't put my finger on why.

SHANG CHAO IS SO SUSPICIOUS. even including what happens to him he shows up at exactly the right time with exactly the right stuff. He's weirdly super invested. I don't think he's evil but I think we are going to see his motivations/backstory in the next episode (and yes. singular next e-soul episode). we still don't know why Pomelo/you zi was kidnapped!!

Some guesses are that he really wants to differentiate himself from his dad, which is why he jumps at the chance to market Yang Cheng.

or yk. he's gay. who knows

OG E-Soul. first of all, YEESH he just trains shirtless covered in scars and doesn't wear anything under the suit 😭interestingly, he wears a mask all the time but doesn't care about his agent/manager/General Business Blonde Guy seeing him train shirtless and armless.

blonde dude got some nerve talking to this guy like that when he's one-arming like 200 pounds in front of him 💀

he seems unconcerned with whether people trust New E-soul, because nobody could mistake the two. this really lines up with the idea that he's old as Dirt and did some insane feat.

However, Mighty Glory doesn't see it that way because it's about money. TBHX absolutely is providing commentary on capitalism and the commercialization of heroes. (ie. an old symbol of institution brought down by the new age and adapted into something else that matches the ideas of the time) The contrast of a living legend like E-soul and his relationship with Mighty Glory + the media made me feel like Mighty Glory built itself around him with dubious implications for his opinions on the matter.

E-Soul hasn't fought people in a while! so my theory that he's retired is right so far.

ENLIGHTER!!!!! this felt like a crossover cameo but logically the episodes are only a few years apart. Enlighter seems like a big deal here though! Did he used to be higher ranked a few years ago and fell off in Lin Ling's era? ...why did he snap. that's not going to be important is it. brainrot brainrot

TBHX is also for sure highlighting how the transition into the digital age is effecting the Trust System, saying how E-soul had to do so much more work than YC. I wonder how the nuances of the Trust system were different before the spread of the internet. TBHX is a modern show, set in modern times and made to be extremely relevant to current world issues!

our running ideas about Trust seem spot-on so far. YC is getting a fraction of E-souls power. meaning E-Soul is really, really powerful! even though he's not doing anything right now.

SURVIVORS GUILT, PT 2. the similarities between the traumatic events of Yang Cheng's childhood to now are insane. holy shit poor guy

is someone gonna get dramatically shot every episode????? why??? at least Moon is not unique in this regard. hide your side characters nobody is safe 😭

twenty tumblr notes on this shot being wayyy too significant for my emotional health

I DON'T TRUST THE TIMELINE. I DON'T TRUST THE TIMELINE. E-SOUL PV IS SO INSANELY STRANGE.

[transmutationisms]

i would love to hear more about your criticisms of the BITE model! for me it always feels.. unfalsifiable? it seems to do poorly at distinguishing a cult from any other community, if you squint at the definitions

yeah so first of all i'm not particularly keen on even trying to defend the category of "cult" in general. obviously abuse and control methods can and do happen in groups, but i don't think it's particularly useful to talk about this like there's a strict dichotomy between evil malicious groups and all the others. and i think generally, when people do try to sort groups into strict categories like that, what you actually see is that the differentiating factor is less to do with the degree of control exerted by the group and more to do with how much the person doing the sorting is bothered by the group's ideology or doctrinal commitments lol. like, this is sort of baby's first cult concept critique but yknow, a group setting where you're being extremely openly financially controlled is your job and yet most workplaces, however abusive and surveilled and controlling, are not typically designated a 'cult' unless they're also peddling some kind of heterodox religious or medical claims or something.

anyway in regards to BITE in particular, yeah i think it does a really poor job of distinguishing between a 'normal' level of social pressure to say/do certain things, and the kind of control that ostensibly characterises a cult. for example steven hassan has called both MAGA and online trans communities cults, and a lot of this comes down to his persistent and pretty open belief in the power of 'mind control' and hypnosis as mechanisms of cult control. ofc any group of any political persuasion could engage in abuse and high-control of its members! usually this occurs by financial means, social isolation, etc. but hassan's BITE model isn't really good at identifying these kinds of material factors despite paying lip service to them, because it's more motivated by his desire to root out these kinds of shadowy quasi-occult forces of mental reprogramming that he fears.

i just find the whole model to be pretty silly and used mostly as a way of justifying dislike of lots of different social, religious, and political groups---some of which are genuinely mistreating members, some of which are just saying things their critics disagree with---because it's perceived as a reliable social-scientific designation and therefore name-dropping it helps the speaker feel that they're making some kind of objective scientific observation rather than a judgment dependent, as are all judgments, upon their own perspective and values. i think instead of this kind of haggling over Which Groups Count As An Evild Shadowy Cult it would be infinitely more productive and helpful to vulnerable people to talk about how high-control groups operate, what sorts of methods specific groups are using to control and abuse their members, and what sorts of resources those members are dependent on the groups for and need access to from other sources: financial and material provisions, social support networks, etc.

[strawbairicake]

the kitten incident- dr. ratio x reader

synopsis: the four times you tried convincing Veritas to get a kitten, and the one time he gifted you… an “unexpected” surprise. 

warnings: ummm pacing, my kinda bad (read: beginner/novice) writing, pls be nice to me. bad (/non existent) characterization of Ratio! other than that, none! this is disgustingly fluffy haha! 

word count: ~1.3k (idk dude i stopped counting after 1010 words)

tagging: @sqgeism, @vyyper, @your-sleeparalysisdem0n (since you eat up all of my writing), @fairycourts (would like to know what you think of this!), @m1ckeyb3rry, @sheyfu, and @cmiru!

author’s note: my first attempt at writing a full-length fic! don’t expect this to happen much from me, haha (unless requested ofc!)! this is a birthday gift to myself, so this is very self-indulgent! for reference, you have a best friend in this story named Ares! she’s amazing and based off of my real life bestie! hope you enjoy; worked very hard on this! <3

a… very convincing car ride home.

after a date at a cat café, Veritas was regretting taking you out anywhere. you would not stop talking about getting a kitten. his internal monologue was filled with thoughts about you shutting up. he wouldn’t voice hurtful thoughts to you, of course, but if you could shut up, that’d be great.

“Veritas?”

“yes, (name)?”

“can we please get a kitten?” 

Veritas glanced at you before returning his eyes to the road. 

“I’ll consider it if you keep your mouth shut the rest of the drive home.” 

you were as quiet as a mouse for the rest of the drive, much to Veritas’s enjoyment. you both made your way to your shared apartment. Veritas led you both into the apartment, where he was slightly surprised to see how quiet you still were. that lasted five minutes- oh, off you went rambling about getting a kitten again. ah well, surely this is a phase that will pass? it’s like when children beg their parents to get a pet and they won’t drop the topic until they get what they wanted. surely this won’t be the same situation with you, right? 

oh well, only one way to find out.

a quiet chat over dinner.

after arriving home after the initial conversation, you and Veritas decided to prepare a light snack to go along with dinner. your routine with Veritas when it came to meals was simple: you prepare any snacks you both wanted, and he would prepare dinner. you set a bowl of fruits and other snacks on the table while your partner finishes preparing the meal before joining you at the table. for once, he initiates the conversation. 

“are you still thinking about a kitten?” 

“yeah, why do you ask?” 

Veritas sighed and you smiled- there was just no winning when it comes to him, is there?

“hypothetically speaking, if we were to be adopting a kitten- don’t get your hopes up- what breed are you most looking into?” 

your eyebrows raised. what a hypothetical. but answering honestly seems to be the only way to answer. 

“probably a calico or a tortoiseshell. my childhood friend had the latter and she was very sweet. plus i have experience with cats, so it’s not like i’m picking a breed i couldn’t handle.” 

Veritas hummed, slightly amused with your statement. he made a mental note for when he goes to the animal shelter next weekend while you’re away. 

”bothering” him while he works in your home office. 

to say you bothered your lover is an overstatement… probably! Dr. Ratio shows his love to you in his own ways. they may not be the most conventional of ways, but they are ways! you put in love in the relationship, too, more upfront in a way, with him. you’re both happy, healthy, and for the most part- content, with how things are. until the damn kitten talk comes up again, and that makes your partner want to rip his hair out (lovingly). it’s not that he dislikes animals, he seems to be very neutral towards them, while you’re definitely the animal magnet between the two of you. Dr. Ratio loves you, he really does! but if he hears about this damn kitten one more time, he might combust, mentally… maybe! you can’t help it if you want something, you just HAVE to tell everyone everything about said thing! it’s human nature, or something!

so here you are, sitting in your lover’s office in your reading nook while he quietly works on grading his students’ essays or whatever- you stopped listening a while ago, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) for him. you were reading a book, he was working, and all seemed well with the world. at least, he thought so. he heard you shuffle your way out of your nook over to his desk. you just stood next to him and watched as he wrote (surprisingly nice handwriting for a “doctor”) some comments on a student’s essay. he could tell you were waiting for when he wouldn’t be as busy, and he was glad you had that courtesy, if nothing else. so when he input the student’s grade and set the paper essay to the side, he sighed and looked up at you. 

“if it’s about a kitten, could the conversation wait until after we bathe?” 

and the shine in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

overhearing you on a call with your friend (and the aftermath). 

your best friend, Ares, has risen from the dead, hooray! but in all seriousness, she had been so busy with her job that she hadn’t gotten in touch with you in what felt like FOREVER. you’re listening to Ares talk about her job, books, and a whole bunch of other things. and then the call goes pretty quiet on your side, just long enough to be noticed by your friend.

“oh yeah,” she pipes up after a few minutes of silence on your end, “how’s the cat debacle going? has he come around?” 

“he told me he’s thinking about it, but it was kind weird the other day! he asked a hypothetical question that did not sound like a hypothetical at all.”

“well, what’d he say?” 

“he said, and I quote, ahem, ‘hypothetically speaking, if we were to be adopting a kitten- don’t get your hopes up- what breed are you most looking into?’ i don’t know, Jade, it just seemed… off. like i should be expecting something, and i’m not, if that makes sense.” you answered.

“girl, how the hell did you remember what he said verbatim? anyway! that totally makes sense! maybe he’s planning a surprise for you and can barely keep the secret together.” she smiled at you through the screen. 

you replied a quick “yeah, maybe” before realizing Veritas was just outside the door to your shared bedroom, overhearing your conversation. he waits for your conversation to end before coming in the room. but before he enters, he quickly shoots a message to Ares herself: “do they know?” and he gets almost excited when Ares texts back almost immediately, “no, but i almost accidentally spilled what’s going on. you NEED to tell them soon! good luck!” 

that was suddenly all of the confirmation the astute doctor needed. 

the kitten incident (a good one, i promise!)! 

Veritas greeted you in your shared home, which was odd. he always came home after you, so it was mildly strange he was waiting for you. but you paid this slight change no mind- maybe he just wanted to spend time with you and got his things done early. he greeted you from the kitchen. you made your way over to him. 

“hi, love. how was your day?”

“oh my god! today was sooo long!” you reply as you cling to his waist. Veritas hums and puts a hand on one of your forearms and rubs little circles into the flesh. he finishes preparing a light snack for himself since you already ate dinner with some friends an hour ago. you moved away from him as he took your hand, which got your attention.

“come see, i have a surprise for you.”

“oh god, what did i do?” 

Veritas lets out a light chuckle. 

“i can’t spoil my significant other without them thinking they did something wrong? i’m hurt, (name).”

you laughed as he set his snack down on the counter and led you to the living room where a small box was sitting on the coffee table. 

“here, open it.” he handed the box to you carefully. you looked at him skeptically before sitting on the sofa and opening the box. inside the box was a tiny calico kitten, the one you had been talking about visiting for at least two weeks now. she was so tiny, most likely the runt of her litter, and you kept telling Veritas how much you liked her. you were devastated when you found out she was adopted. you gently picked the sleeping kitten up from the box, and she opened her eyes, and then proceeded to let out the tiniest and most polite meow you’ve ever heard. you looked to Veritas and then the kitten back and forth about five times as he laughed and nudged your shoulder.

“look at her collar.”

you looked at the tag on her collar and your breath hitched. marry me, the tag read. as you turn to face your lover, you find him sitting next to you with a ring box in hand, proposing to you out of the blue, with the faintest hint of a smile on his face. 

©2025 strawbairicake. do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or use for AI.

[deathfavor]

@kisumshi said: ❛ what, am i not allowed to look at you? ❜ dorahan ofc

soft & sweet sentence starters

Hanma hadn't been able to stop the defensive sounding what? from leaving his lips when he saw Draken staring at him. Not that Hanma cared about being stared at. He didn't, and certainly not by Draken. But people didn't look at Hanma like that. It's hard for Hanma to name exactly what that look was despite the fact he knows that he knows the word for it. He knows how Draken looks at him for some things, and the hair down like he wears now usually provokes a few, but it's not any of the regular looks he's used to getting. It's disarming and he doesn't quite know what to do about it.

" No- I mean yes. Wait." It's not often that reaper stumbles over his words even when drunk let alone when he's completely sober. " Shut up. " He gets out defensively before Draken can laugh at him. " You are allowed. " He grumbles, finally getting his point out clearly with that remark.

Like he cares. The realization of what that look was like comes to Hanma when he turns his gaze away to avoided Draken's stare. He's happy to look at the frost covered trees or warm glow of the street lights - basically anything else while the realization settles like led. Draken had looked at him like he cared and that had rattled Hanma. People don't care about him. He's either useful, an enemy, or a fun time. It isn't about caring beyond a useful pawn. The closest to a caring look he might get are the times he offers painkillers for a hangover or shit like that.

He doesn't get caring looks unprompted. Certainly not while Hanma was just walking beside Draken after a night out and had done nothing in particular to earn that look that Draken was content or cared. Gold eyes flick to Draken from the corner of his eye and then away. It's....not the first time he supposes. He still remembers Draken had tried to offer him a hug to comfort and how he'd recoiled like someone was trying to muzzle him. Draken's softness is almost as visible as the man himself when he's not in a brawl. Hanma's only comes out behind closed doors and often in the dark or early morning hours where reality and sleep blended together and became hard to distinguish. Otherwise it came in smaller gestures that Hanma had no idea if they were understood or not - cooking despite his dislike, actually bothering to answer texts, lowering his guard somewhere that wasn't his own space.

It really isn't something Hanma has ever put much thought towards before. Now he does and he isn't quite sure what to do with it. What the hell does Draken even think about this? Whatever they're doing? Hanma? He's never asked. He doesn't plan to either. But there's an oddly unpleasant sensation at the thought that - well, he's not quite sure himself what the thought is or why it's there. That he's hot and cold towards Draken? Something like that, when it's not really true. Life has already severed one of the few bonds Hanma did have.

Hanma's feet slow, and he watches Draken stride ahead a few steps before realizing something is wrong and come closer. It makes one step easier for Hanma. His hands lift to catch Draken's face before he bends down a fraction to press a kiss to his lips. It's not the first time - he's kissed him at isolated spots, or in the heat of the club. But there's no teeth that show his hunger or violence. No force that demands an equal response, no seeking or provoking or urging. Just warmth where their lips meet, soft in the way Hanma usually gives before sleep settles in. This time though its in the full hours of the evening while people brush past, paying little mind to the two of them figures on the side of the sidewalk. It's slower and unhurried, seeking nothing. He pulls back after a few moments with a small grin, hands still remaining on his cheeks.

" What, am i not allowed to kiss you now? " Hanma asks playfully, mimicking Draken's question despite the fact his voice has dropped in tone to something closer to his actual voice. His hands fall away from Draken and he offers up no explanation. ( He's not sure he'd have one even if asked. ) " So, are we wandering or did you have a destination in mind? " Hanma asks, as if he hadn't done anything out of character just now.

[drunk-on-poems-and-songs]

stuck

i think. i think i think. ofc i think. everyone thinks. but my thoughts in particular are affected by the things around me what i watched, how that one person i went on a walk with talked, the last thing i read, everything. and after a while, it’s like i don’t know. i pretend to be a damsel in distress in situations that don’t even involve other people sometimes. ohh my life is so sad, my parents are so emotionally abusive. ohh i think i’m depressed, everything feels so down and i don’t really have the energy to do anything. ohh i’m getting fatter, i’ve lost six kilograms over the span of an entire fucking year. ohh this, ohh that and then there’s another part of my head that’s like bitch. shut the fuck up. mom and dad do the best that they can do, and do the best in accordance with what they think to be the best. you get scolded when you do something to deserve it, and if they do something you truly dislike and you tell them, they try to not do it again. depressed my ass. you don’t even fit all the symptoms. don’t have energy?? you’re just lazy. you said you don’t really have any energy to do any workout yesterday, but when i dragged your ass to the gym you did a full and proper set of chest exercises. you’re not getting any thinner cause you can’t control that manhole you call a mouth and stuff everything you find ‘tasty’ inside. 3 a.m. i couldn’t sleep yesterday. lay in bed, scrolling mindlessly through instagram, came across a reel that said: "after all these years i failed my parents anyways, what use was it all?" and then just fucking started sobbing. and after a while, it just became "shut the fuck up you overreacting bitch, ankita was right in naming you a drama queen. look at you sobbing like a child. you haven’t done enough to be able to lay down and cry." "isn’t the entire ‘you’re a man, men don’t cry’ shit bullshit? shouldn’t everyone be more in touch with their feelings or something?" "yeah but that doesn’t count lying unproductively, laying down in your bed, crying over random bullshit you see on instagram of all things, that thing rots your brain." "that’s a point. i shouldn’t cry. it’s 4 a.m. now, i have to go on a morning run, i should really be sleeping, but i can’t seem to." "just eat a melatonin. if it doesn’t work, just put all the pills in a water bottle and chug it down." "you do realize melatonin isn’t much of a sleeping pill? i think it boosts sleep. plus, chugging an entire bottle of pills would be as if i’m attempting suicide." "don’t YOU mention suicide, you dumb bitch. you’ve cut yourself almost ten times this year, every time, you were close to hitting an artery or going deep enough. it didn’t even hurt much at that moment, and yet you just dropped the cutter and were content seeing your hand bleed. didn’t you lie to glitter as well? you failed your part of the deal." "the deal was about not saying sorry as much. also shut up. i drank the melatonin. music?" "riptide." "roger. g’nite." "g’nite." ** static. ** it’s weird. i think. and then i think that this isn’t my thought, i’m pretending to be someone else. and then i think that me thinking that i’m thinking that i am pretending to be someone else is absolute bullshit, and i’m thinking that so that if there’s a mind reader nearby, then they think that my mind is a sophisticated place. it’s weird. i don’t know. i don’t know what this is about. it isn’t much of a poem to be written on a poems platform. ah well who gives a fuck anyways? it isn’t like anyone’s gonna listen anyways. i don’t know. ah well. g’nite.

[jheselbraum]

I will also say I get the vibe that Ford does not like living in the Mystery Shack for far deeper reasons than the obvious (if I had ford's specific issues and insecurities I would hate it if my house was turned into what is essentially a freakshow too), like. That's the house he was tortured in, isolated for 6 years in, etc, and it's now within walking distance of his ex's corpse who per the timing of tbob can still see him. Like all the Bill stuff is out of the house but it's still very very close to the corpse. Ford's already pitched the science family thing to Dipper and the question has, by the end of Weirdmageddon 3, been amended so he's no longer bound to Gravity Falls, it's a place he can go to and leave voluntarily. He first left and was returned to Gravity Falls involuntarily, and if he were to stay in Gravity Falls after the series it would at least in some capacity include Ford guarding Bill's corpse in some way. I don't see a world in which Ford stays long term in Gravity Falls and Ford fully leaves Bill in his rearview mirror. That, and with tbob we have the fact that Gravity Falls is quite literally a town where Ford died and no one missed him put front and center.

Like with just the show, Ford's ending does not actually center him, it absolutely centers Stan. But (and especially from a doylist perspective) J3, tbob, and tinawdotcom all help shift that ending towards one that is ideal for Ford. I wouldn't call it perfect, but there is an argument to be made.

Like, from a doylist perspective of someone putting together a story, there are really only four settings Ford can go that would potentially be narratively fulfilling: Glass Shard Beach, Piedmont, Gravity Falls, and The Ocean tm. We can just scratch Piedmont off that list, Ford going there would cheapen the narrative weight of Dipper and Mabel's leaving gravity falls and going home ending, they're the protagonists, they get narrative priority (also dropping a long lost uncle in the middle of a messy divorce would turn the soap opera dial up way too high). So that leaves Glass Shard Beach, Gravity Falls, and Ocean.

Journal 3 establishes that the only circumstance under which Ford would willingly return to New Jersey is if he was flipping everyone off and rubbing his success in the faces of the people who used to torment him (and rightfully so). No one in New Jersey knows about Ford's success, Weirdmageddon didn't happen to anyone outside Gravity Falls, no point in going back to New Jersey.

J3, tbob and tinawdotcom (and also the show ofc) pretty firmly establish the narrative stakes of Ford staying in gravity falls as such:

- if Ford stays, either Stan leaves (disappointing) or Stan stays and therefore so does the Mystery Shack (j3: Ford severely dislikes the mystery shack, he views it as a freakshow starring mostly objects that bear his name and likeness and is a reminder of the lack of agency he has in what is supposed to be his home) (even if Stan would voluntarily close the Mystery Shack, in this scenario I am assuming Soos would still get his narratively fulfilling ending and he would get to run it)

- if Ford stays, he would be protecting the town in some way (per d&mvtf) which would almost certainly involve Bill in some way (per tinawdotcom) and it's pretty thoroughly established that even when opposing bill, that counts as keeping him in Ford's life and isn't mentally healthy for Ford.

And then you have Traveling the Ocean, and... I'm probably going to get crucified but I don't... Think... Ford's portal days were all that bad.

Like don't get me wrong that man has capital T Trauma, directly from his time in the portal. But I don't think that the traveling was part of that, fun as it is to experiment with it. In J3 Ford also describes this time in his life as "swashbuckling," which. Pirates. Ocean. You get it. Painted over star on the ceiling poem. The man has spent the past 30 years traveling (there's only three instances we know of where he dimension hopped involuntarily, the portal incidents and Dimension 52) and we know he visited at least a few earth like dimensions (ABW, Everyone is a Baby, the do over dimension) but did not choose to stay in any of them (for multiple reasons, but even taking his Bill quest into account he could've made one dimension his home base and traveled from there)(also for the purposes of this argument I am assuming Ford would be taking the interdimensional equivalent of a bus between dimensions and doesn't necessarily have the ability to choose to return home). Ford went from going down the NIHM signs of suicide like it's a to do list to actually surviving past 35, I don't think he did that while having zero sources of joy in his life. So Ford still wanting to travel like when he was a kid isn't completely out of left field.

Then you have the narrative impact of Stanley from the actual show, like. Ford could not leave Gravity Falls in 1982 or before 8/31 2012 because of Bill, because he is centering Bill which is bad for his mental health, bearing the burden alone, etc. Bill is gone because Stanley got off his ass, thought of Ford in a context other than what Ford could do for him by not letting him sacrifice himself for him, and saved Ford all the way instead of putting him back on his abusers radar. So, even just with that, the ocean is kind of the only option. Like what's Ford gonna do, guard Bill's corpse forever? Go search for anomalies in Boise, Idaho? When did anybody say anything about Boise?

Like the world isn't in danger because ford's decided to leave Gravity Falls and Bill can't just contact him no matter where he goes. He can tune in to the Ford channel I guess per tinawdotcom but all he's gonna get is Ford living his best life and not giving Bill a second thought. Like he could theoretically break the rules again but Bill is not actually allowed to contact Ford.

Like I would've loved a more established "Ford likes the water and traveling and boat" than just the J3 entries about the lake, to strengthen ford's agency in choosing his own ending (from a Watsonian perspective of someone who is in a story, this is the only thing Ford can afford to do for the rest of his life: he has no retirement savings, no resume, no social security, he's not allowed on airplanes, for as many crimes as Stan's committed in his name if they actually get Stan declared living again he will go to Federal prison, his scientific credibility is completely shot, he could help Fiddleford make Gundams for the US military industrial complex but that's not studying weird shit and people treat Ford like a war criminal enough as it is), but I personally don't see another way it could've gone down.

ford's lifetime of objectification is so important to me.

when you first watch the show, you don't really see it in tots. just taking the show in isolation, stan's experience is much easier to latch on to: stan is being neglected by his parents and the education system, and he compensates for it by becoming useful to (and therefore needed by) ford. the codependency and abuse are the themes that stand out.

which makes sense, since we've been following stan so long by this point we're bought into his character arc. alex has even said that ford was built to be someone who would explain stan's trauma response. we are meant to be looking at stan for these reasons and because ford lies to us (by omission) during his story. yes stan lies too, but only in the narration; we are shown the truth. ford's story is a lie both in narration and in visuals.

but as the show goes on and as the books come out, we are directed to start looking more and more at ford's experience.

when you read journal 3 standard edition, what stands out is bill's manipulation and how ford fails to grasp the lifelines fate throws him. we see ford transform from a man wanting recognition and connection to being isolated and unable to trust.

but then you read journal 3 blacklight edition, you realize it wasn't just bill: fiddleford was hurting him too. when fiddleford first presents the memory gun to ford, ford tells him that it's dangerous with a high risk for misuse, and to destroy it. not only does fiddleford lie about agreeing with ford and lie about destroying it, he also turns around and starts routinely, non-consensually using it on ford. whenever fiddleford wants to do something he knows ford will disagree with or be upset by? zap zap! conflict averted, no compromising or debating necessary. (and then, of course, he starts stalking ford to ensure nothing happens to him that fiddleford deems deleteable.)

and then we get tbob and watch bill hijack and mutilate his body, rewire his brain, and threaten his life. his value reduced down to a pair of eyeballs bill is more than happy to pluck out to use as keys if ford won't deactivate the retinal lock.

with this new insight, it makes ford's experience in tots significantly easier to see. filbrick didn't care about what happened to ford, he cared about what he lost. yes stan probably did care about what happened to ford, but not enough to tell him about the accident with time enough to fix it. not enough to let him be angry, let him grieve, let him figure out alternative college solutions. it was just right back to what stan wanted: sailing away together. for the entire scene, ford's opinion weren't asked for, his emotions not given a platform, until they were useful for what stan wanted: not having him kicked out. ford's experience of the event was so unimportant, he'd gone to his bedroom while filbrick and stan fought. he was no longer needed.

neither bill, nor fiddleford, nor filbrick, nor stanley see ford as a fully realized human being with wants and goals and dreams and aspirations of his own. at least, they see him as a fully realized human being only up until what he wants conflicts with what they want. after j3 blacklight it starts to become obvious that ford is a tool, a concept, to the people ford thinks are his closest allies.

to bill, ford is an escape (with just the show and j3 we think only into our world, but after tbob we learn that this is both literal and metaphorical). to fiddleford, ford is freedom (from his marriage, from societal expectations, from the pressure of being more than his roots). to filbrick, ford was stability (i refuse to believe it was just about the money, but more about what the money represented. filbrick and caryn wouldn't have to worry about making ends meet, wouldn't have to worry about their children's future; all reasonable desires for parents to have but inappropriate responsibilities to place on a teenager. not to mention how the lasting impact of the holocaust combined with the rise of holocaust denialism in the 1970s would influence filbrick's perspectives). to stan, ford was everything (he was willing to throw away his life on shore, both what he had and what he might have, to sail with ford, just the two of them, forever. and he did throw away his life bringing ford home: he murdered stanley pines and sacrificed 30 years in exchange for his brother. stan believes he is only one half of a dynamic duo, that without ford there is no him).

in a way, ford was a portal for all of them. something they could use to get a better, happier, fuller life. ford is fought for, someone hard decisions are made for, someone people do terrible things for. but not for him, but for the opportunity to keep him, to control him. hell, even his doctor said they want to kidnap him.

because keeping stanford pines is extremely difficult. he's hard to get close to, but once you're close he loves fully, trusts implicitly. but if he's wronged, he's vindictive, he holds a grudge, he pushes you away and he runs.

princess unattainabelle indeed.

doesn't it make sense, then, after all of this, ford would grow into someone who insists upon his own agency? that he was forced to become self-confident, self-assured, a man of action. that he would become an avid journaler so that his wants and goals and dreams and aspirations would become concrete, would become tangible. that he would become someone who lies about his past in order to have control over how he is perceived, how his life is remembered?

because after what fiddleford and bill did to him, wouldn't it make sense he would become someone anxious about his reality, his memories, his sense of self? how much of who he thinks he is and what he believes and what he knows and what he can do is because of changes they made to his mind?

does he even have himself?

for the entire duration of gravity falls, every character, at some point, to some degree, is chasing ford: his journals, his inventions, his knowledge, his identity, what he is able to give them, do for them.

but how many of them are chasing ford.

edit: just want to add this disclaimer for clarity. i intentionally left out other characters' nuance. if this reads uncharitable, that's not an accident and also i know there's a more nuanced perspective. that was just not the point of this.

[holy-guacamoly]

Can I pls get canon universe Erwin faling for/ with an s/o 10-15 years younger than him? If you are comfortable, ofc. Let’s say he’s 36? So the s/o is 21? Like would he think it’s wrong as stop himself, or would he give in? Thanks a lot🤗

Hey Anon! <3 As long as everyone is at a legal age, I see no problem with bigger age gaps. :) Funny enough I talked about such topics with my friends just yesterday.

Temptation - Erwin Smith x GN!Reader

Warnings: age gap, suggestive content but nothing serious, kissy kissy

Erwin Smith was a man with a high morality standard. People patronized him, forcing the mask of a perfect superior on his face. It was a blessing and a curse, a perfect mixture of yin and yang, but right now it caused him nothing but pain. He knew it was wrong, reprehensible, but even Erwin was nothing more than a human being under all his titles. "Commander...Sir are you okay?" Your soft voice rang through his ear shell like a carillon hugged by the wind. His pupils turned bigger as the broadly built man tried to lay his focus on your face in the dim candlelight. Your features were so soft, so even. It reminded Erwin of sparkling glass, that got washed up on the shore, polished by the sea until there was no imperfection left. Your face wasn't emaciated by war just yet. In other words, you were perfect. And that was the reason he despised you a little, just a tiny bit. You made him feel things he wasn't supposed to feel. The commander disliked how you appeared in his dreams and how you always lingered on his mind. And above all he hated himself for canceling other cadets' office duties, so you ended up here with him. The both of you were hovering over a tower of paperwork as the nightly concert of cicadas accompanied you. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine, cadet. Thanks for asking." Erwin finally returned after what seemed like an eternity. "Y-you, can call me Y/N, Sir. I think it's only appropriate after so many nights spent together." Blue eyes widened at that statement. Nights spent together? Oh, how he wished you meant it in that certain way. "I mean...over paperwork. Sorry, that came off wrong. Forget I said anything, Sir." Like if you were able to read his mind you corrected your bold statement. If Erwin's vision weren't already blurred my black spots of tiredness he would have sworn to see a faint blush on your cheeks. God, you looked alluring. The innocence you held was something rare in a world full of war and misery. The commander would protect it with every cell of his body, that was indeed a promise he made to himself. "If I should refer to you as Y/N, you need to drop the titles as well," the blonde began, leaning back into his chair. "As you said, we certainly spent too much time together to act like strangers." Of course, there was much more to his words, than he'd actually let you know. You smiled, honestly touched by the friendly offer. It made you slightly thrilled to be this close with your superior. This was truly a special gift. Trying to hide the grin in your voice you asked, "Well Si- Erwin, can you go over document 374? I'm not really sure how to handle it." The question was more masquerade than anything else because you were already walking over to him. As you leaned over to point out the details of said document, Erwin couldn't ignore the fact that your cleavage greeted him suggestively. The buttons of your uniform were loosened due to the high temperatures and he was able to get a good glimpse of your delicate skin. An audible gulp formed in the blonde's throat as his eyes were glued to your body. How badly he wanted to rip these clothes off of you. He wanted to kiss you everywhere and make you scream his name so everyone would know you're his. "I'll...take a look at...it," Erwin whispered, reaching for the piece of paper. As his hand moved forward to its destination, it brushed against your exposed chest for a faint second. Both of your heads shot up, surprise and embarrassment lingering on your faces. Erwin cleared his throat, while he tried to search for fitting words during that storm that was raging in his head. 'This is wrong' a tiny voice echoed through his mind once again. "I'm sorry. That was inappropriate." Of all he could have said, it was this he chose to come up with? Pathetic. "Just an accident. It's okay, Erwin." You tried your best not to sound aroused, but your words came out like a purr. Without even realizing you leaned closer to him, while your counterpart certainly did the same. Just as your faces were mere inches away from each other, Erwin abruptly stood up. His whole body trembled and he slammed his hands on the table, causing you to jerk away. "No, it's not! Nothing is okay about this! I am your superior and beyond all, I am much older than you!" Words sputtered out of his mouth like an erupting volcano and to you nothing that he said made sense. Your eyes narrowed as a million voices of your subconscious roared. "I shouldn't long for you like that, but I do and for that, I am terribly sorry." In his voice lingered something erratic, something you never witnessed before. His chest went up and down as it was guided by heavy pants. For the first time in your short career, you saw Commander Erwin Smith utterly disturbed. Quietly you walked around the mahogany table until you were standing once again in front of the commander. It took all your might to stop your fingers from shaking as you reached up to cup his cheek. Your irises glistened in anticipation as you whispered, "Don't be sorry." This was the last thing you said before your lips met Erwin's. Tentatively at first, your kiss grew heated as your hands roamed over each other's bodies. Your head spun and you were sure that you'd faint if he wasn't holding you close. Every inch of skin begged to be explored by calloused fingertips. Breath mingled as your tongues ravished the delicious taste of a foreign sanctuary. You felt so many sensations. You felt everything. Now growing brave, you fidgeted with your lover's belt, to please him as you always dreamt of. But Erwin grabbed your wrist, stopping you right here and there. "No." he breathed against your cheek. It sounded weak like he didn't mean it all, but still, he refused to let go of your hand. "We can't do this, Y/N." 'This is wrong' 'This is wrong' 'This is wrong' The tiny voice repeated. You heard yourself letting out something that sounded like a whine. "Why? Don't you love me?" you mewled and the pain in your voice didn't stay unnoticed by Erwin. Slowly the commander let go of you only to gently cup your face between strong hands. His thumbs caressed your heated skin and he said, "That's the problem, my dear. I love you so much while I know I shouldn't." He stepped away, leaving you with nothing but a burning sensation on your body. The loss of touch stung like a thousand needles, drilling into your flesh. "Please don't do this to me." you whimpered. Erwin looked out of the window, scanning the indigo sky. He couldn't bear to look at you. "I'm sorry, cadet." Okay, I got carried away there. If I'm being honest with myself I see Erwin staying strong, but my romantic self wants to start a secret relationship with Y/N soooo idk what to do

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

shit-head!bakugou hcs

*the following is a varied but not in any way exhaustive list of all the shit bakugou pulls on the daily when ur his s/o

-okay, so to start, let’s get one thing straight: bakugou likes when you yell at him. he does. he thinks it’s funny when you’re annoyed and pretty damn hot when you’re pissed at him, so he spends all day, every day, trying to needle a reaction out of you. bc he’s a hot-head with a mischevious streak n absolutely no impulse control when it comes to you. obviously.

-alright so, he probably pulls your hair to get your attention. not, like, hard or anything, it doesn’t hurt, but you’d still 100% prefer if he maybe just didn’t

-bakugou moves your things when you’re not looking,, not very far or in difficult to find places, but he’ll still do it just to be annoying. laughs under his breath every single time you yell at him for it

-will occasionally come up and hug you from behind. it’s very unusual for him so ur ‘???’ about it at first. then he’s nuzzling and kissing ur neck softly so you just kinda accept it and melt into being 🥰 about it. then he bites. not a cute bite, not a sexy bite, literally just chomps down and bites. u squeal/squirm bc obviously. he just laughs at the reaction he wanted and then leaves the room entirely. without apologizing or saying anything bc he’s an asshole

-ruffles your hair after you’ve just done it

-will pluck your phone out of your hands. not for any reason, he’ll just walk by and snatch it,,, probably does so for the entire reason of wanting you to yell at him

-intentionally mispronounces your name when he introduces you to people he finds unimportant. bakugou just thinks the look on your face is funny,,, n he doesn’t give a shit bc the person is beneath him and that means they don’t deserve to know your real name anyways

-if y’all are at a social gathering and he doesn’t want to be there anymore, he’ll start saying his goodbyes almost immeadiately. then he’ll go around and say your goodbyes for you, so when he’s pulling you out the door nobody says anything about your sudden exit

-will chug your entire drink while your turned around. probably says some “wow. should probably fill this up, idiot.” while holding up the glass with a shit-eating grin

-picks you up. just sweeps your feet out from under you just to place you back down. idk he likes chaos n there’s nothing more chaotic then ur flailing limbs and squawking when he does so

-if you’re in your bedroom reading when bakugou wants to go to bed, he’ll turn the lights off regardless of what you’re doing. if you complain and get up to turn them on again, he’ll leave them on and won’t do anything else or even complain,,, but most times you don’t want to get up, don’t want to make the effort so you just leave them off. bakugou knows this. it’s why he turns them off in the first place.

-if you’re laying on the couch, taking up all the room, and bakugou wants to sit, he won’t lift your feet into his lap. no, he’ll just sit on them. will just sit on them until you give up your yelling and move to make room for him

-when he’s bored he likes to bicker for entertainment. so whatever you’re doing at the time he’ll just attack sayin sum like “jesus, don’t you know how fucking stupid that is? i’d never do that.” n ur just like, watching tv pls kill him he’s so annoying

-will fling hairbands/scrunchies at you while you’re doing your nightly routine. does this bc, in his eyes, you’re taking too long and bakugou just wants to go to sleep

-complains when u wear clothes he doesn’t like the feel of. like, if it feels itchy/scratchy against his skin when he hugs u, bakugou will let you know how much he dislikes it. loudly

-offers you food just to pull his plate away when you reach for it ,, then sits there saying “god, i really am the best fuckin chef. this shit’s delicious. woulda shared too, but it didn’t seem like you wanted it enough.” ,, all said while smirking ofc

-when you hug he’ll intentionally breathe against the shell of your ear. does this so he can make fun of you when you shiver/squirm

-says shit like “hey, i had the best fuckin’ dream last night.” n u go ‘??? what was it?’ n bakugou will look you dead in the eyes, straight-faced n just go “you went mute. shit was paradise.” ,,, 🙄 give him the silent treatment after babes, he’ll be whining and bitching and taking it back by hour 2

-will lay directly on top of you if he doesn’t want you to leave the bed in the morning. will just flop, dead-weight onto you until you stop struggling. then he’ll make fun of you if you fall asleep again. bc he’s a dick.

-he won’t eat your food, but he’ll act like he did. so you’ll get home from work, and u’ve been thinking about your leftover take out all day, right, n bakugou will sneak up behind you while you’re searching for the food in the fridge. he’ll push the fridge closed with a hand near your head n lean in to say some “don’t bother. ate it already, dumbass. wasn’t great.” against ur ear. pls when you turn around pissed at him he’ll just laugh, push you away from the fridge and take out the food and hand it to you. he never ate it. he never does. he just likes when you think he did and yell at him for it

-keeps a running list, in his phone, of words you’ve misused/mispronounced. will recite all of them at you just because he can

-kicks at the back of your knees. he’ll never let you fall, will always, always catch you, but he likes to do it anyways. bc katsuki is a child

-changes the tv channel right when your show comes back on for commerical. somehow keeps a perfectly straight face the entire time you’re screaming at him

-unties your shoes/unzips your jacket/takes your glasses off your face damn near constantly. he thinks he’s funny. he isn’t.

-if bakugou decides that you’re not paying enough attention to him, he won’t say anything. won’t say anything at all but will just sit there and clear his throat obnoxiously. then you’re like “can i help you with something?” n he’ll just turn his head and “no. i don’t need shit from you.” (he does, pls talk to him or hug him or something bc he won’t stop until u catch on)

-if he’s tired he will tell you. loudly. constantly. opens his mouth to say the same “i’m fuckin’ tired.” shit every 30 seconds until you finish up whatever you’re doing and go to bed with him

-if his hands/feet are cold, he’ll put them on you. bc he thinks it’s funny when you squirm

-if there’s an opening for a joke he’ll say it. every single time. never lets you breathe for a second without roasting you. ofc then he’ll try and gather u into a hug n say some “no, don’t get mad, dummy. i had to fuckin’ say it! you walked into it!” ,,, don’t hug him. shrug him off bc he deserves it

-is a backseat driver. now bakugou cannot drive for shit without evolving into a vibrating mess of poor judgment and road rage, but he doesn’t let that stop him from opening his mouth when you’re driving

-smacks your ass every chance he gets. mans never lets an opportunity pass him by

-don’t ask him to get you anything. ever. bc he won’t hand it to you politely. he will kick it to you, chuck it at you, or drop it directly on you from a ridiculous height,,, ofc he warns you so you can catch it and not get hurt, but still

-will unironically comment and critique your teeth brushing habits,, all while his gums are literally bleeding from constant abuse

-pretends he’s deaf when you tell him to do things. that’s it. that’s the concept.

-steals the blanket right off your lap. wraps its around himself with a “oh. didn’t look like you were fuckin’ using it.” ,,, ofc u know this is just a ploy. a terrible ploy to get you to cuddle with him for warmth, bc god forbid he just ask, but it’s still annoying. doesn’t stop him from doing it again though

so, in conclusion, no one will ever believe you when you try to tell them what a little shit he is. especially not since he’s only ever an outright asshole or entirely aloof around others

pls idk what this is but i absolutely couldnt stop thinking about it

[realcube]

haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’  

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’  was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on 

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous’

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad  

but he was also soft 

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES 

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size) 

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together 

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’  bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you 

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’ 

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL 

but like deadass it’s not your blood type-  it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words 

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal  — you guessed it —  the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance 

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough  — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful 

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord 

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T 

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤ 

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you) 

[dramaticlester]

Grow as we go

summary: dan and phil welcome 2022 with coziness and closeness. they also discuss the ring that’s resided on dans finger for a few years:) based off “grow as we go” by ben platt, ofc! 10/10 recommend a listen

genre : fluff

warnings: mentions alcohol (not excessive)

•I don't think you have to leave

If to change is what you need

You can change right next to me

When you're high, I'll take the lows

You can ebb and I can flow

And we'll take it slow

And grow as we go•

bringing in the new year has always been hard for dan. sometimes he feels like he’s not fully taken the year in his stride, he often feels scared by the numbers changing, and he doesn’t like the expectation of having something to achieve in the new year.

2022 will be different, though. as he wakes with phil on the morning of the 31st, he doesn’t feel unsure. in fact, he’s never felt more certain. of course, he’s planning his return to the internet bit by bit, he’s preparing for things that have been put off for years, but he’s also going to become a lester. well, a lester privately. they’d made the decision to double barrel their names so they could still use their own names professionally. it just seemed logical. it saved arguments, though dan had been keen to just become a lester.

he’s excited for the change, he’s excited to be louder and happy. he wants to name drop randomly, he wants to post the pictures that he’s taken but has forgotten to take his engagement ring off for, he wants to post the pictures from the engagement. he wants the sentiment, he wants to share it with people who care about him and how much he’s grown.

his growth is funny, really. he was such an asshole when he was younger, he was possessive and he pushed everyone away so they didn’t only dislike him, but they disliked phil because of it, too. but phil stuck by him, he let him cry into his shoulder, he left events early to tend to his baby of a boyfriend, he didn’t laugh. he was so good. it makes dan appreciate the ring on his finger so much more.

their new year’s eve is uneventful. they’re both still reeling from christmas, making up for the time apart and eating chocolate for breakfast, dinner, and tea. they’re playing the new games they’ve been given and watching films. dan knows phil gets antsy towards the end of the festive season, especially the period between christmas and new years where no one really knows what day it is and each day feels an hour long yet simultaneously a year long.

dan passes phil a flute of champagne after tea, with a chocolate. the ring on his finger feels light as it bangs against the glass. he catches phil smiling at it as he thanks dan for his drink. dan settles beside him, pulling the blanket off the back round his shoulders. they’re not really big on celebrating new year with other people, or drinking it away. they prefer to remain cosy, watching the odd firework from out the window. though, it’s slightly more difficult in 2021 since their new house is rather secluded and nothing like being high up in their apartment.

it’s 11pm now, the clocks are ticking nearer to 2022. they’re looking forward to it, phil is aching to talk about it.

“can you believe we’ve been engaged for so long?” phil says as he sips his champagne; he shivers at the taste. “so long.” that’s said as more of a whisper.

“i think this is the best time. we’re both out and comfortable, we have a house, an actual life.”

phil laughs at that, kissing the side of dans head, “we were a bit messed up when i put that ring on you.”

dan lifts his hand up, twirling the simple band around his finger. it’s nothing special, well to anyone else, but it is to him. phil gave it to him at a time when he was battling a lot of things. when his trip to japan was a bit of a blur because he was genuinely happy for the first time that year. phil got down on one knee in the middle of a lot of trees. no one else was there, it was just them. it allowed dan to cry, he was an ugly crier. it let him hug his fiancée close to him, thank him for letting him feel normal and safe. it’s where his journey to self acceptance actually happened. when he decided coming out was a definite because there was no way he wouldn’t share his future husband as that.

they sent pictures to phil’s family of the trees surrounding them, of the wedding band, and they printed a photo of them holding hands, the ring in view. phil’s dad even painted the location on beautiful canvases and surprised them with it. dans family were delighted. his mum teared up on the facetime. she was proud of her little boy.

as the clock nears midnight, phil’s hand is resting against dans thigh. he can feel dans burning flesh through his pants and he wonders why the blanket is still wrapped around his shoulders. the tv is showing a repeat of something in the back, so phil switches it over to the countdown. dan is in his own world, but phil leaves him be because he looks happy. they’re on their third glass of champagne, so phil is lightly warmed by it… they won’t drink anymore though.

5

dan is snapped out of his trance, his hand interlacing with phil’s

4, 3, 2,

dan leans forward to put his glass down as phil’s hand curves around his jaw

1

and their lips meet softly.

2022 looms, but never as menacingly as any other year. they’re ready for it, ready to take on anything that’s thrown at them. soon they’ll be the ‘howell-lesters’ and there’s no greater force than that.

[gyuphorias]

OKAY LISTEN first of all you are my fav writer and the fact that u do asks is so hot of u... second of all ive had this thought for the longest time but couldnt tell anyone so.

you go to the internet café to expose your ex for cheating on you, eric ( a stranger ) is playing some random ass video game using the computer next to the one your ex was using to play, then noticing you screaming and your ex calling you names~

eric gets up, grabs your wrist, takes you out of the café and crosses the road, your ex following and screaming at eric for interfering.

eric pins u against a wall, in front of your ex, kisses you in the most passionate way possible and proves to your ex that you can do whatever he did without feeling bothered.

first omg i'm so honored ????? it blows my mind that someone considers me their favorite author thank u so much i might cry </3 i try to keep my asks open, but i've stepped back from tumblr to focus on other things. ur always welcome to drop thoughts in my inbox it just might take me some time to get to them <3

this thought of urs ... let me tell u ... Yeah<3

eric is really loud and ambitious n he's never really seemed to hold back from being disruptive. in this situation, he's probably got his headphones on and he's completely zoned in on his game, so he doesn't tune into your argument until he can hear you over the sounds of his game. he's never met you before, but your (in the process of becoming) ex frequents this internet cafe and eric has always disliked him because he's such an asshole to people.

he wouldn't normally step in because it's not his place at all, but he does have a prior distaste for this guy and you're on the verge of having a mental breakdown. he thinks it's only fair to get you out of there as soon as he can. he shuts his station down and grabs his things before he can even start second guessing himself, and then he's gathering you into his arms to herd you into the world outside. you're trying to protest through tears and looking up at him all confused, but you're grateful to feel the cool evening air on your otherwise scorching skin, so you let this handsome stranger lead you away.

at least until your ex follows you out and tries to keep the fight going, this time with eric who was only trying to help you out. the guy is shouting at him for interfering and telling him it's none of his business, so eric whips around and tells him that it became his business when you two started duking it out in the cafe. ofc this doesn't deter your ex from causing an even bigger scene, yelling about how your relationship isn't over and lying through his teeth about cheating on you (it's so clear to eric that he's trying to gaslight you), so eric does the only other thing he can think to do.

he kisses you, just cradles your face in his hands and kisses you so passionately. you're immediately surprised and your first instinct is to push him away, but this guy is going out on a limb to drive your ex away, so you let it happen, even going as far as kissing him back. you can hear your ex make a sound of indignation and then walk away, muttering about how that conversation isn't over. when eric finally pulls away, he gets shy and flustered, apologizing for kissing you, especially because you don't know him, but you shush him and tell him that yeah, it was crossing a line, but you appreciate him doing something to get you out of that situation. when he realizes you don't feel so scandalized by it, he offers to make it up to you by taking you out for dinner or coffee sometime. and that's how you end up with eric sohn's phone number and an apology dinner planned for the weekend.

[raviposting]

Okay so I’ve seen a lot of conflicting responses to Buddie this episode, from it being clear to people that they’re getting together, to thinking the writers have unintentionally messed things up to thinking it’s purely queerbait.

And I get the different responses, I do - tbh I’m somehow in two camps, where I simultaneously believe it’s a slowburn but I also think it’s bait. And those are two very different opinions to have and it got me thinking about why we have these different responses as fans to the possibility of a queer ship (namely two men who would presumably be bi/pan) being canon. 

While people talk about how it’s just people wanting two characters to kiss or entitled fans - sure, that’s existent in every fandom, but I think there’s also a very real fear from queer fans who don’t want to get their hopes up and I d on’t love how the conversation has shifted to calling queer fans stupid for having hope, so I kind of wanted to break it down into 3 aspects that I’ve noticed: 

How writers portray bi characters and why that makes fans hesitant to have hope

What queerbait actually means as a concept

How much “slowburn” has changed in procedurals

1. How writers portray bi characters

Something I’ve thought about a lot are the bi characters I’ve seen on TV - Darryl (CEG), Sara Lance (Arrow), Lucifer (Lucifer), just to name a few. These are great characters imo and I think you’d have a fun time watching but a thing to note is that all these characters were established as bi within the first season of their respective shows and they all fairly quickly fell into a clear romantic ship as well (with the exception of Sara as she spanned multiple shows). It may have taken time for them to say the word bisexual, but it was still clear these characters were queer fairly quickly on. You could maybe argue that Lucifer was a slowburn, but then (while it does not take away from him being bi/pan so do not use this as an excuse to be shitty about him) it’s a m/f ship which is still not the point of my post, to find a m/m or f/f ship that has that same treatment.

Some writers have done it - like for Valencia in CEG, or Petra in JTV - when they saw that fans read them this way, but trying to find those characters were few and far between, and when I looked at popular queerbait ships (whether or not they actually are queerbait) it’s usually ships where the characters are largely viewed as bisexual. A lot of times this also comes with pushback from both straight and to be frank, other queer fans as well. Straight fans don’t always see the signs that queer fans do, so to them a queer character who hasn’t been explicitly clear from the start comes out of nowhere. And what I’ve seen from certain queer fans are concerns that people aren’t appreciating the canon queer characters in a show - and I think there is a conversation to be had about that, but I don’t think the response should also be about then demanding less representation for people either. 

If we go back to 911, people talk a lot about how it has canon queer characters, which it definitely does - Michael, Hen, Josh, Karen, and David are all canonically gay/lesbian and that’s awesome, and we absolutely should talk about fans (white fans in particular) ignoring these characters. It also does not change the fact that none of these characters are bisexual and that is the representation people are looking for. Both of these things are true - these characters are often under appreciated in canon AND people deserve bisexual representation. They don’t contradict each other and to act like one negates the other does a huge disservice.

And even if a character was made bisexual in the canon text we don’t get that slowburn. This may be true for things like Leverage, or LOK, but there’s also a real fact of censorship that affected these shows and the fact that general audiences may not understand the queer text tjat the writers intended. It doesn’t make the writing any less wonderful or the ships any less poignant or beautiful or important, and there’s ofc shows like She Ra that made this more obvious (or the.....mess that was Supernatural that made it. Half true?) but these are still real things that should be acknowledged on why people are so hesitant to call it slowburn - because it’s something most queer fans haven’t SEEN DONE, because m/f ships will get that care for slowburn when it’s done but it’s not done for m/m or f/f ships in that same capacity.

2. What queerbait is

This one’s fun because I don’t think many people understand what it is, but queerbait is very dependent on the intentions of the writers/creators/etc. - which tbh can be hard to gauge, because a genuine intention that ended up not happening or someone baiting fans or someone trying to support all ships and not be rude all have very different intentions but to a fan who only sees bits and pieces of this person on social media, it can be hard to gauge.

Honestly with how much the 4th wall gets broken because of social media now I’d personally say we’ve probably moved into a different definition of queerbait - unintentional vs intentional - because we’re at a point where a show knows what ships are popular and at what level of excitement fans are for it - but that being said, there’s still a clear spectrum of intent. And imo? I don’t think 911 has that intent of queerbait - whether it’s a slowburn or they have a different vision for buddie that I (probably) won’t agree with remains to be seen, but this show usually treats its storylines with care. Are they perfect at it? No, definitely not, I definitely think that they’ve dropped the ball a few times (especially with just how many characters they have lmao), but they also clearly do their storylines with earnest and with genuine care for these characters.

Is 911 getting them together? I want to say yes. I don’t think this was always the plan, just something that they decided along the way, but I also don’t think that changes anything about the ship. A lot of people point to Tim Minear being vague about the ship, or the actors and their interpretations, but 1. We have no idea what they’ve been told about Buddie moving forward and 2. No show runner is going to spoil their show that much. 911 may be keeping quiet because they have a different plan for buddie, sure, but also maybe because they’re still figuring out how exactly they want to do this and/or they want to make this slowburn and don’t want to give it away.

3. Slowburn in procedurals

I feel like this is something that procedurals have started shying away from, but slowburns used to be very common - Bones, Castle, their ships didn’t get together for literal years, but that’s just not something that many shows do nowadays, even for m/f ships. Even things like Deckerstar will have the characters get together after ~3 seasons and explore the relationship onwards, whereas a few years ago, y ou’d pr obably be watching a sh ow and it’d take them 7 seasons to get together. My assumption for this is that shows are afraid  of getting canceled, but there’s been a pretty big shift in getting a couple together after say, 6 seasons to now getting them together about halfway through the show. I don’t think either one is bad or good - in good writers’ hands, either can be amazing - but that shift has made it so that a lot of younger fans in particular, I think, don’t fully recognize slowburn when they see it.

911 as a show tends to run pretty fast - it kind of has to with its depth of characters they have - but when they do have slower running storylines they really do make use of that as well. Bobby’s addiction is something that’s always going to be present in his character, May’s suicide attempt was brought up again front and center after 3 seasons, even Chim’s dynamic with the Lees was brought up again and it was reinforced again that they’re his family. There are certain storylines that have to be continuous and aren’t a one and done type of thing, and that includes Buck and Eddie, especially if you want to establish them as queer to a general audience who doesn’t think about these things.

And honestly, despite my fears, I think they are laying groundwork there. We have Buck learning to be more confident in his relationships, we have Eddie ready to date and learning to follow his own heart, we have Buck and Eddie both establishing that Buck is family and will always be there for Christopher. These are pretty big steps to do for a ship and we’ll obviously have to see how the show goes forward but they’ve already insinuated Eddie and Ana are breaking up, I’m sure Taylor and Buck may last a season and be over, but we do have to see what this next season brings. Do I think they’d say this? No, definitely not.

tl;dr: 

911 is a show with good viewership, but there’s always a possibility they can’t continue with their season and then their promises would feel like a lie. Or they may still be hammering out the details as this season hasn’t been written. Or they may just simply not want to spoil their show,  or they don’t want people criticizing a story before it’s finished, all of these could be reasons. The showrunners, writers, actors, ultimately they owe nothing to us as a fandom to potentially spoil their series, or do something, change it or their schedule for it, and get accused of bait. 

But it also doesn’t change why fans are wary of this storyline either, and I wish people would have more nuance and compassion for fans who are worried about queerbait (whether they think it’s not queerbait and dislike people worrying about it or if they do and are calling people idiots for believing it). There’s a lot of reasons why fans are wary and don’t want to have hope, and it’s not necessarily about 911 specifically as it is a pattern of writing seen in other pieces that have fans worried. These things can all coexist and I wish we as fandom in general could acknowledge that, because pretending that they don’t and criticizing each other/people’s intentions or knowledge when they have certain expectations also doesn’t do much to help.

[bonjour-rainycity]

Double Heart | Chapter Eight ~ Haldir

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 3620

Warnings: Mild language, tw ptsd

**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity” if you prefer!**

A/n Happy early Thursday morning! Hope you have a good day <3

Cosima’s right arm grips around me like a vice. Her left arm rests gingerly on her leg. Baranor did what he could, but I imagine it is still painful to move the arm around and irritate the injury. To jostle her as little as possible, I ride as smoothly as I can. Faervel seems to sense that he needs to put extra care into the force with which his hooves hit the ground. When we hit an unavoidable jolt, I hear Cosima’s sharp intake of breath and instantly regret causing her pain. At one point, the hand curled against my stomach begins to shake, and I want to stop the horse. I want to pause and look her in the eye and swear to do better next time. I’ll watch more, fight harder, move faster, keep her safe. I want to explain to her my revitalized resolve—nothing will get to her now. She doesn’t need to worry, because I’ll do better.

But of course, I can’t do any of that.

And I definitely shouldn’t. It’s strange, feeling this strongly about the well-being of one measly human. But in truth, I’ve become quite fond of Cosima in our short time together. Maybe it’s because I don’t spend much time with humans, but I find her humor refreshing, her kindness captivating, and her wide range of emotions infuriatingly confusing. I can’t stop myself from seeking her out.

And I can’t stop myself from hoping she decides to return home with us.

I sigh. I should send her to ride with Orophin. I’m paying too much attention to her, thinking too much, allowing myself to become distracted. But the idea of sending her away, of distancing her from my care, makes me to tense. I have a feeling I would be just as distracted if she weren’t behind me. Inwardly, I remind myself to focus on my surroundings, putting it into the frame of keeping my companions safe. The closer we get to the Imladris border—and thus their border patrols—the lower the likelihood of us running into more orcs. As it is, we are too far away for Elrond’s patrols for comfort and I urge myself to remain vigilant. I can’t take any chances.

There’s a noise to my right—just pebbles dislodged by the quick feet of a rabbit, but Cosima’s human senses can’t find the source of the moment. She jumps, clinging even tighter to me, and looks around wildly, breath racing. Without thinking, I take one hand from the reins and wrap it around the hand she holds in a fist against my stomach.

Elves don’t usually engage in physical contact outside of family and romantic partners. At most, warriors will clasp each other at the elbow briefly to commemorate a job well done or to celebrate a victory. But she is human, I reason, trying to puzzle out my strange response. Humans touch each other all the time—they hug each other, hold each other, press kisses to the cheeks of those they care for. Part of comforting a human is offering them a physical lifeline, something tangible and solid that they can hold on to.

“It’s alright,” I try to soothe, not holding out hope that I’m any good at it. The wardens I’ve dedicated my life to don’t usually require soothing. “It’s just a rabbit—I saw it running off. It climbed over the rocks and caused a few of the smaller ones to fall down the hill.”

I wish I could turn around and face her. I want to look into her eyes, study her face, and see if my words have had any effect. I want to know that the fear has left her, see the relief of security smooth the tension in her brow.

She takes a couple deep breaths, and I encourage myself to take them with her. It never hurts to settle one’s heart. Then, a pressure against my shoulder blade. She’s resting her head there, I realize with a start. I stiffen automatically, not at all used to the contact. I try to relax. If it’s what she needs, I can try it. Once I get over the initial shock, I don’t dislike this feeling at all—in fact, it’s quite nice to be here for her like this.

“Okay,” she breathes. She sounds exhausted.

I weigh my options. Could we chance stopping early tonight? Would the rest result in quicker progress tomorrow? No, I decide, knowing the original plan is the best. Each of us will feel better once we are securely inside Elrond’s borders. If that means some discomfort now, so be it.

With that in mind, I push Faervel to go even faster, wanting to race towards Imladris with all haste.

{***}

I see the tension in everyone’s shoulders when we stop to make camp. Each of them carries the weight of this morning’s attack, the human’s most visibly. Since the moment Cosima left my horse, she’s been at Alexander’s side. I was right about human comforting tactics—his arm hangs around her shoulders and she lays her head against his chest. The sight is strange, and a little disquieting. Elves are so unused to seeing such blatant displays of physical affection.

For his part, Alexander also looks quite shaken. His hair, usually well-kept, sticks in all directions and his eyes dart from side to side constantly, never finding rest. He clings to Cosima as tightly as she holds on to him. While the rest of us are seasoned in the unpleasantries of battle, this is their first encounter with violence—that they can recall, that is.

I clear my throat, drawing the attention of the camp. “I will stand first watch with Baranor. Everyone else, get some sleep.” I address my brothers directly, then. “I will wake you at the halfway point.”

We waste no time. Baranor draws his sword and takes the East side of camp. I mirror his stance on the West. We found a relatively secure spot for the night — a small valley with a clearing of grass backed up to a rocky slope of mountainside. There is only one entrance to where the others sleep, unless someone were to jump from the rocks above. To prevent this from happening, Baranor and I pick points high enough that we could see any attempts to either enter our camp or ambush one of our watch stations. Before I know it, the sun sinks over the horizon and we are plunged into darkness.

{***}

Baranor wakes the others, and once Rumil comes to take my spot, I trek the short distance to the center of our camp. I lay on the now unoccupied mat next to the mountainside — across the small area, Baranor has already passed into sleep. Just as I stretch out, getting comfortable, my eyes meet Cosima’s.

She stares at the rock across the small cleaning from her, expression distant and glazed.

I call her name quietly, getting her attention without waking Alexander or disturbing Baranor. She should have nodded off hours ago. “Can you not sleep?”

She shakes her head and, even from here, I can see the exhaustion in her eyes. “It’s silly,” she whispers. I raise my eyebrows, hoping she’ll explain. “I know we’re relatively safe. I know there are always two people on lookout and I know you all have plenty of weapons. But I’m still so scared.” Her voice wavers. “I can’t remember a time in my life when I was attacked like that. Every time I close my eyes I see those…things.” She bites out the word, shuddering. “What were they?”

I sigh. I should have known she wouldn’t find peaceful rest in her current state. I prop myself up on an elbow, trying to make myself seem as assured as possible. My wardens tend to feel more confident when I seem confident—maybe it will help her, too. “They were orcs, some of the most evil beings in this realm.”

“And they wanted to kill us?”

“Yes.”

“Why? What did we do?”

“Nothing,” I shrug, at a loss for the reasoning of those foul beasts. “They are bred for evil, they desire it above all else. If they have the chance to kill, they will take it.”

She shivers again and throws a look over her shoulder towards the entrance of the clearing. “That’s terrifying.”

“They will not get that close to you again,” I swear. I really shouldn’t. I can’t say for sure—they’re no way I can be absolutely positive an orc won’t attack her again. But I do know that as long as it is within my power, I will do everything possible to make what I just said the truth.

She raises an eyebrow dubiously and I know that, even in her fearful and tired state, she sees through the logic in my statement. Even though I was just questioning the validity of my words, I find myself with the overwhelming need to prove them to her—and to myself. I stand, pulling my mat with me, and step around her, dropping the mat between where she lays and the entrance to the clearing.

“There,” I nod, laying back on my mat. “Anything that wants to get to you will have to challenge me first.”

Breath hitches in her throat. Her lip quivers, a shine glints in her eyes. I freeze. Oh Valar, where did I go wrong this time? But when she addresses me—albeit in a shaky voice—she sounds pleased. “You don’t have to do that.”

Relieved that she has one, accepted my offer and two, doesn’t seem to resent me for it, I smile. “It’s my job. Now, please close your eyes and try to fall asleep. I will wake you if there is need.”

She wavers for a moment and I put a hint of my Marchwarden sternness behind the gaze I level back. The edges of her lips quirk into a tentative smile and her eyes slide shut. She pulls her—my— cloak tighter around her shoulders and, in a voice so quiet I can barely hear it, whispers, “thank you.”

I settle on my back, keeping my sword and bow within easy reach, as I do every night. And, though I just told Cosima to go to sleep, I stay awake longer than I intend, watching the stars and listening to the sounds of the mountains. She was right—there is much beauty here. There is no civilization for miles, no hints of light to obscure the vastness of the constellations. As an elfling, I used to love staring at the stars. Even in my early days of the guard and battle, I would pass long nights gazing at the sky. When did I stop? When did the love of beauty for beauty’s sake leave me?

I hear the deep, even breaths indicating a human has fallen asleep and know that Cosima has finally given in to her exhaustion. I follow not long after, the soft light of the stars falling away behind my closed eyes.

{***}

The day is marked by easy travel. By my estimate, we will reach Imladris sometime tomorrow evening. It cannot come quickly enough.

Just as the sun is starting to set, we come across a small cave I have used in the past when traveling with various companies. Orophin sees it too and gives a triumphant call from his spot in the line. A cave means we can chance a fire, which means we can have meat tonight—if we can catch it.

About five hundred feet from the cave, I dismount, signaling for Orophin to do the same. I hand the reins to Cosima, give Faervel a quick pat, and raise my voice loudly enough for the others to hear. “We’ll make sure the cave is clear—the rest of you, wait here.”

The nerves, which seemed dormant in Cosima for the majority of the day, creep back into her features. Her hold on the reins tightens. I attempt to reassure her. “We’ll be back in five minutes. Stay with the others.”

I want to stay longer, to stay by her side until she feels safe, but I know it will be better for everyone once we’re settled in the cave. So I draw my sword and join Orophin at the yawning entrance.

The cave is too small to be used long-term, so it is commonly claimed by travelers who only intend to stay the night. The ceiling is plenty high for humans, but as elves, Orophin and I must take care not to stretch too high. In some places, I can feel the smooth rock graze the top of my head, dragging strands of hair out of place. But aside from that mild annoyance, no threats lie inside and I hurry to return to the others and give them the good news.

Rumil, knowing the expression on my face, grins and hops down from Roch, setting the horse to graze while he excitedly enters the cave to drop his packs. I roll my eyes, though not without fondness, at my brother’s exuberance. I quicken my pace, eager to settle the others for the night and go hunting so we can have a proper meal. As soon as I set Cosima’s feet on the ground and put Faervel to graze, I can go in search of rabbits or squirrels.

I am a few feet from Cosima when Alexander steps into my line of sight. He reaches his arms up to his friend. She smiles warmly at him, places her hands on his shoulders, and lets him ease her down from the horse. It’s a bit jerky, honestly, and I worry that her feet hit the ground with too much force. One has to be careful when helping another down from a higher place—if not, the person could suffer injury. Careless.

“Alexander,” I call. He looks put out but nonetheless inclines his head in my direction. “Leave your supplies in the cave and then meet me out here. I am taking you with me to hunt.”

He sputters. “What? No! I’m tired and I don’t even want to learn how to hunt. Take one of your brothers.”

I feel my eyes narrow. “Regardless if you would like to face the facts or not, you are in this world. And as such, you will need to learn skills to aid your time here, however long that may be. Cosima has learned how to care for the horses and ride and scout her surroundings. You will learn to hunt.” The human tries to protest again, and I raise my chin, none too pleased with having to justify my decision. “As long as you are under my care you will follow my orders. Am I clear?”

Beside him, Cosima’s eyes grow wide. She darts her gaze between myself and Alexander, watching our exchange. I raise an eyebrow at the man. It will not be me who breaks first. I have centuries of practice.

Predictably, Alexander cracks, breaking my gaze and nodding stiffly. He pulls away from Cosima and stalks into the cave, taking a few bags with him.

Baranor passes me on his way up the path—I’d nearly forgotten he was here. He lowers his voice to a volume the humans won’t detect. “He is not one of your wardens, Haldir.”

“As long as he travels in my company, he travels under my command,” I grit back, more frustration in my tone than is necessary. I work to push the emotion aside and stride forward, dealing with Faervel while I wait for Alexander.

Cosima hasn’t left. She stands, dwarfed by Faervel’s tall frame, gently brushing out his coat. There’s tension in her shoulders and I approach her almost hesitantly. I think I angered her.

She quickly confirms my suspicions.

“You didn’t have to be so rude to him.” She doesn’t take her eyes from my horse.

I purse my lips. I just need to make her understand. “He was being insubordinate.”

“Okay, but he’s not your subordinate,” she shoots back, voice rising in irritation.

I don’t quite know what to say. These humans don’t know how my job works, so their reaction is to be expected….But even Baranor commented on my behavior…was I wrong? Even if I did perhaps misuse my tone, I still can’t have someone openly refusing to do what I say. It’s a matter of security. Say he disobeyed me in the heat of battle? Someone could pay for his choice with their life. I can’t allow situations to pass now that would embolden him to disobey me later.

Cosima sighs, shaking her head. When she speaks, her voice is tight with disapproval. “I’ll finish the horses. You get to your hunt.”

I swallow. It seems I’ve angered her to the point where she wishes to cast me from her presence. I must respect that, then. “I will send Rumil to guard you.”

She nods once, still not looking at me.

I spare her one last glance then make towards the cave, feeling very unsure of myself. As Marchwarden, I’ve learned to make difficult, sometimes unpopular, decisions. People’s reaction to them usually doesn’t bother me…but something about the way Cosima wouldn’t even look at me, the frustration in her tone…it doesn’t sit well.

Rumil is already at the mouth of the cave, headed outside with a snack for Roch. I instruct him to stay with Cosima while I am gone, and he agrees easily. The two of them have been friends from the start. I’d wager he has never upset her as I have.

Alexander is waiting, too, looking annoyed. I try to remind myself to be nicer towards him, but can’t quite manage it. Something about his demeanor just irks me. But the hunting excursion will be good, I remind myself. It will allow me to get a better read on this human, to figure out where he stands and what his motivations are. With that in mind, I jerk my head to the rocks, calling him forward. “Let’s go.”

{***}

I don’t take Alexander far, but we do have to leave the noise of camp to find animals suitable for food. The human trudges behind me, probably scaring away every rodent within a mile. Why must the race of man be so loud?

“Roll your foot from heel to toe when you walk rather than stomping down,” I instruct. To my surprise, he actually follows my advice. He’s still not as silent as an elf, but there is definitely an improvement.

A silence settles between us. When he breaks it, there is a vulnerability in his voice I did not expect to hear. “Is Cosima really going to be okay?”

Baranor had assured me of the fact and I know from my years of battle that the wound is not severe, so I am confident in my answer. “Yes. I think more damage was done to her feelings than her arm. She takes things quite deeply to heart. It will take time for those scars to heal.”

I’ve offended him. He scoffs, expression morphing into a glare. “And that’s bad?”

Now, I grit my teeth. He seems always on the prowl for some reason to dislike me, and I don’t appreciate him twisting my words about Cosima to use against me. I throw his accusation right back. “I am not the one questioning her intelligence and calling her naive.”

“That’s taken out of context!”

“And in what context are your words favorable?”

He seethes, and I find a strand of amusement in the differences between our demeanors. I stand calm and cool as ever while he glares up at me, mouth pulled into a grimace, face going hot in anger.

“You know what,” he grits out, hands clenching into fists. “Don’t go on defending her. Don’t get too attached. Because after yesterday, I’ve got no doubt in my mind that I’m getting out of here. And Cosima’s coming with me.”

I scoff. “You cannot force her.”

“I won’t have to.” He exhales, an assured serenity settling on his face. For the first time since our argument began, I feel wary. “That attack broke whatever spell you all have put on her. She’ll leave willingly. I guarantee it.”

Maybe it’s the arrogant twist in his smile, maybe it’s the stress of the day finally hitting me, maybe it’s just because he’s been an ass since the day he arrived and I would like nothing more than to knock him to the ground and teach him to have some respect. Whatever the reason, I feel the cold dread creeping through my bones colliding with a white-hot anger that sears through my chest. It takes everything in me not to let the composed mask slip from my face.

Despite my efforts, Alexander knows he’s hit his mark. He can tell he’s gotten a reaction out of me, and this pleases him to no end. He waves a hand forward, gesturing to the wide expanse of the path before us. “Lead on, Marchwarden. People need to eat.”

I want to challenge him.

But that is not respectable behavior of a leader, nor polite treatment of a human under my protection. So I call on every ounce of maturity and discipline I possess and turn on my heel, continuing the hunt.

And though we have good fortune in our search and I should be pleased, I am too focused on Alex’s promise to share in the enjoyment.

Cosima choosing to leave is a very real possibility.

And that hurts me more than it should.

A/n Thanks for reading! So it looks like we’re having some ~developments~ -- what do you think?! Likes, comments, and reblogs make me smile! Let me know if you would like to be added or removed from the tag list :)

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[mianmiansimp]

mdzs au: the one with wen xu (pt 1)

>>wwx has his bisexual epiphany much sooner in life bc Reasons

>>so when he starts crushing on lwj Immediately at cr, he knows it too

>>anyway: sometime pre-cloud recesses, wx and wwx cross paths and wwx is being his usual mischievous self

>>he's very dramatic and flirty and running around on roofs

>>wx is like Hey You're Cute but doesn't catch his name

>>wwx is oblivious so he didn't know who wx was lol

>>they cross paths a few more times

>>wwx just knows wx as 'that one gongzi i see sometimes'

>>then cr happens and they meet again when wwx is heading back to cr with his alcohol

>>wx is like my how charming

>>the next morning the wens show up and wc pisses everyone off

>>and then wwx is telling him off and wc gets pissed and tries to fight wwx while also insulting his status

>>and jc is like EXCUSE YOU and draws his sword bc i'm a sucker for protective jc and will throw in as much yunmeng shuangjie as i want

>>but then wx shows up and tells off wc (bc of wwx) and tells everyone to calm down

>>wx learns wwx's name, wwx learns who 'that one gongzi i see sometimes' is, only one of them is happy with the revelation

>>wx is being weird and oily to everyone and the lans begrudgingly accept the 'apology'

>>wx is publicly weird to wwx, wwx is publicly uncomfy, jc is publicly offended and pissed and defensive and also has an inkling of where wx's head is at

>>cue jc aggressively glaring at wens and shielding wwx from them

>>nhs, who's more aware of what's happening than anyone else bc nhs, helps

>>doesn't stop wwx from adopting wn as a bestie but wn is a kitten so it's ok

>>cr arc is largely the same, wangxian shenanigans, yunmeng shuangjie shenanigans, alcohol shenanigans, you know the drill

>>except for two major things

>>one - wwx has been crushing on lwj since day one but he Knows it

>>and he gets sad sometimes when lwj rejects him

>>so jc is not only angry at the wens but he's angry at lwj's audacity too

>>lwj, who hasn't a clue about anything:

>>two - wx sometimes shows up randomly to 'check up'

>>he isn't, he just drops by to make wwx uncomfy via unsolicited gifts and flirting

>>jc usually passive aggressively intervenes

>>or nhs makes some excuse that is usually 'jc wants to see you'

>>there's an incident during a wx visit where wwx panics bc he really doesn't want to deal with him

>>and essentially bolts from the vicinity and runs right into lwj

>>lwj almost starts telling off wwx but he sees quite clearly that wwx is Not Ok

>>and then they hear wx approaching and wwx basically begs lwj to Get Him Out

>>lwj dislikes wx far more than he dislikes acknowledging his affections for wwx

>>so they quickly run into and hide in a room

>>cue bonding moment where lwj and wwx have a Talk and lwj says they're friends for the first time

>>and then immediately goes silent bc wwx is looking at him with complete adoration and he has to force himself not to kiss him lol

>>this is also the point where lwj has it confirmed that wwx very much does not like wx's presence

>>which is how lwj joins the defend wwx against wx's advances club

>>jc isn't happy about it bc wwx is mooning for lwj still but he lets it slide

>>wn actually joined the club accidentally and discretely

>>jc's like why couldn't wwx get This wen to crush on him i like him so much better???

>>lwj vinegar moment + flustered wn who just thinks wwx is really cool and nice

>>wq catches wind of what's going on and is worried about wn's involvement

>>but also greatly dislikes wx and doesn't want some random innocent boy to suffer

>>which is how she too accidentally joins the club

>>mianmian joins too but loudly bc she's friends with wwx and lwj and also wx sucks

>>jzx is friends with mianmian so he gets dragged in

>>and he might be an arrogant prat atm but he's not a bad guy and wx's behavior is very despicable

>>jzx has some um Revelations about himself and his family

>>and accidentally becomes an honorary member of the club

>>they're all kinda friends now, it truly sucks, thinks jzx with a small smile

>>xuanli engagement is not broken/salvaged much earlier on bc of this whole

thing

>>anyway that's how all the major sects' youth became so closely entwined

>>lqr was very proud that his lectures enacted firm inter sect relationships

>>lxc is just egging on wangxian while also becoming an honorary member of the club

>>waterborne abyss and stuff still happens

>>jc is even angrier at the wens and straight up completely hides wwx the next time wx comes around so he doesn't even catch a glimpse

>>wx is not happy, especially when lwj is silently passive aggressive the whole time

>>cr study ends, there's this whole lingering wangxian moment when they say their goodbyes

>>wwx and lwj are close now but also lwj can sort of admit it instead of shoving it under years of repression and gay panic

>>lwj agrees to visit at lotus pier and wwx looks so enamored that jc gags and drags him away

>>mianmian snickers and pokes lwj in jest, who actually pokes her back

>>lxc is so proud, his brother has Friends

>>wx is a bit more careful around lotus pier, but he does visit once

>>jfm greets him and is very polite but yzy is very blunt and pissed

>>jc upon getting home had immediately spilled all the info on the wx thing

>>yzy doesn't like wwx but she hates the main wen and wx was being vv disrespectful

>>so she kinda tells wx that wwx isn't here (not a lie, he's on a nighthunt) and that he can go jump a cliff now thanks

>>wx is rather irritated when he leaves

>>comes back again on a later date, but this is the day that the cr friends are all hanging out

>>which isn't really an issue bc wwx is a social butterfly, it's part of what wx likes about him, obviously he has friends

>>but he sees the way wwx looks at lwj, and happens upon a moment where they're alone

>>he is Not Happy

>>in the meanwhile the cr friends are all chilling together and making fun of jzx flustering around jyl and eating lotus pods and whatever

>>yzy for once is like not overcome with irrational rage at wwx's presence bc he did something right for once in her eyes

>>so wwx gets some peace of mind at lotus pier

>>madam jin is also very delighted at the xuanli progress and approves wwx for enacting it

>>no one outside of jiangs + cr know why exactly xuanli are doing so well

>>so madam jin assumes wwx just kinda did some wingman stuff and doesn't know about the wx thing

>>anyway, wangxian is progressing quite nicely, and jc is all the more miserable for it

>>jzx kinda doesn't care lol, the rest of the club are delighted by the entertainment, yzy is further not angry at wwx bc wangxian engagement = lan-jiang alliance = advantageous

>>fast forward and we're at the discussion conference

>>jc is scowlier than usual and is literally holding wwx's hand the whole time

>>and wwx is like bro ty and ily but also this is a bit much

>>jc eventually lets go of his hand but he is never more than a few inches away from wwx's side

>>the state of wangxian at this time means we have wangxian blatantly and publicly mooning and everyone's like :eyes:

>>wx is not happy, shows up and immediately starts seeking out wwx, everyone is uncomfy

>>jc at one point grabs wwx and shoves him into the middle of all the jiang disciples

>>kinda doing that zebra camouflage thing but with jiang disciples lol

>>whenever it looks like wx is gonna ask him about wwx he crosses his arms and scowls severely

>>wx takes his seat very unhappily and the discussion conference proceeds as normal ig

>>but the friends are all taking part in the hunt together

>>wwx and lwj have a lil competition for who snags the most shots

>>lots of flirting during the competition, much to jzx and jc's chagrin

>>wn is just :pleading_face: the whole time but he does excellently and gives everyone a run for their money

>>the wc thing goes a lil differently in that wc is more incensed about wwx's existence bc he knows wx likes wwx

>>targets wwx, it backfired bc of lwj, wc leaves in a huff

>>lwj closely attaches himself to wwx after that, jc is pissed bc that's 2 wens who are making problems about wwx

>>the ribbon incident goes a lil differently

>>it happens after the competition, in front of all the sects

>>wx basically

goes oh your ribbon is crooked and fixes it gently and smiles at lwj and lwj says nothing, just quietly nods and thanks him

>>lqr approaches qi deviation, the sects are shocked, wwx is oblivious, lwj is smug, lxc and the friends are all metaphorically eating popcorn, wx is mad, wrh doesn't care, wq is worried bc wx

>>wx actually corners wwx at one point during a banquet when wwx's alone

>>interestingly, it's jzx who steps in to save the day

>>wwx doesn't need saving tbh but there's sociopolitics to consider + he's a lil scared of wx's persistence tbh

>>and he has a crisis bc on the one hand wwx can just run his mouth and hope for the best except he realizes that wx Likes when he runs his mouth

>>so yea jzx steps in and says something about jyl and wwx is like ahaha duty calls again and yeets

>>jzx just says compliments about jyl as they walk back to the jiang under the pretense of wanting to discuss the engagement

>>wwx reluctantly decides he's ok

>>the jiang keep a firm grip on wwx for the rest of the conference after that

>>jyl uses the shijie card to her advantage to get away with dragging wwx with her everywhere

>>the conference ends and wwx is relieved

>>oh btw wwx placed first by a small margin, lwj and wn following, then jc and jzx tied

>>so the sects are leaving and ofc wwx has to say goodbye to lwj

>>and lwj is like what is your request bc you won

>>and wwx is almost like kiss me but then he Doesn't ok

>>so instead wwx is like lemme think of something interesting :wink: to cover his pining

>>and lwj says mn and Smiles at him and wwx melts on the spot

>>wx catches the interaction and is very unhappy

>>fast forward to the burning of cr

>>there's a reason why wx did it personally, and targeted lwj especially

>>fast forward a bit again, wwx is a lil mopey bc his letter from lwj should've come a few days ago

>>they're pining pen pals bc ofc they are smh :rolling_eyes:

>>at this point, news of cr's destruction hasn't spread to lotus pier yet

>>jc is annoyed and yeets him into the lake and makes him swim off the pining

>>cue yunmeng jiang lake shenanigans

>>and then mf wx shows up to personally deliver the invitation to the wen indoctrination

>>jfm and yzy simply Do Not acknowledge wwx's existence at lotus pier in front of him

>>it's a very tense but quick conversation

>>and then wx leaves and hears wwx and heads in the direction of the latter's voice

>>he gets to the lake to see the jiang disciple swimming in the lake, but no wwx

>>bc jyl knew he had come and quickly run over to the lake to warn and hide wwx

>>jc perched himself on a roof to watch wx and let them know when he was gone

>>that meal they had in cql? yea it goes differently this time around

>>it's mostly yzy hissing at the wens and also having a conundrum over whether or not wwx should go

>>jc votes no, wwx votes shut up jc i'm coming with you

>>jfm concedes, jc is irate, wwx and jc go to the indoctrination

>>but jc makes wwx promise to not ever leave his side

>>and wwx is like that's kinda the whole point?? but ok

>>and then ofc that whole opening scene at nightless city happens

>>what with them standing around and then bam an injured lwj

>>ft the cr friends being all fhkjhkjsghk (/neg) internally

>>except wwx, he's very open about his concern

>>wc shows up, spends half the time glaring at wwx

>>he was supposed to be make it hell for lwj

>>but quite frankly he'd be happy if lwj snatched wwx

>>he very much dislikes his brother's infatuation with wwx

>>so yea it's roughly the same, those first few days

>>except wn secretly visits the disciples

>>slips snacks, gives info, exchanges messages between them, and treats lwj

>>wq finds out, scolds him, and then does the same, mostly treatment

>>and then the dungeon day comes

>>by which i mean that day wwx ended up in the dungeons with the dog thing

>>it goes the same as usual, except wc is particularly harsh, and is focused on wwx

>>so it happens sooner, and only wwx is involved

>>spends the night with the wolf thing, wn comes, yk the drill

>>except he knocks out at one point and wx gets him

>>and he wakes up

in a room and wq and wn are treating him

>>he's quickly given a coded warning

>>and then wx comes

>>wc had been forced out of leading the indoctrination and someone relatively competent is in his place

>>wx doesn't really let wwx go back tho

>>just makes wwx stay with him and basically invades his privacy and harasses him

>>for like. quite some time.

>>wwx also meets wrh a few times and it is. not fun.

>>wrh makes thinly veiled threats about war and attacking lotus pier and stuff

>>and wx reveals he was the one who requested and took charge of cr burning

>>and wwx is angry at wx but then wx gets angry and snaps threats

>>and wwx quiets and realizes wx is relentless

>>and that his connections are putting ppl he cares about at risk

>>it all kinda piles up and wx's insistence gets to his head

>>and then the bell scene (which started all this) happens

>>it might seem kinda ooc this whole thing but like

>>sexual trauma is very different from standard child abuse/classic asian toxicity

>>and you have to consider wwx's position as he has to put up with wx's everything

>>am i projecting? probably, but my au my choices

>>so the bell scene begins with all the heirs and their entourages gathered at that. place

>>idk what it's called but that place from cql where wc was lecturing

>>wc's substitute indoctrinator is like so. y'all can go home now. here's your swords.

>>and everyone's like omg????? but also cr friends are like ok where's wwx :upside_down:

>>and it's a very complicated moment

>>and then they give suibian to jc

>>and he almost kills someone bc he thinks they killed wwx

>>and then they're like no he's alive he just won't need that :upside_down:

>>jc is like WHAT does that even MEAN

>>and it's about to be a whole thing but then wwx shows up

>>and it's all ok for half a second

>>bc yes he's here but he is very obviously not ok

>>and it Shows, wwx is doing such a bad job hiding how not ok he is

>>cr friends are like. what did they do. who am i killing.

>>so now we enter - The Bell Exchange

>>wwx comes forward and (very poorly) tries to lighten the mood and tease jc and is like aw did you miss me

>>jc who was very much terrified is just like yes ofc come here Now let's go home

>>and wwx has this look on his face that's summed up as love and affection but also deep apology and secrecy

>>he slowly goes to jc and his hands are shaky as he takes off his bell and grabs jc's hands to give it to him

>>and wwx is very vague about it he's just like i won't be going back it's ok you're all free to go now i'm making sure of it go back home be safe

>>and jc is having the nth meltdown rn bc wwx what did you do

>>nhs has an idea of the gist, and all the c friends are very concerned

>>and then wen xu shows up and wwx does this silent flinch but in his bones and straightens up

>>and wx is mocking the others and stuff and then wraps an arm around a very uncomfortable wwx and is like

>>"you should be grateful to my fiance for his generous nature"

>>wwx is very obviously not having a good time and is not ok with this

>>he looks like he's going to launch himself from a cliff (hehehe) to avoid this

>>everyone is silent for a minute as they realize what happened

>>a lot of the disciples here were at cr indoctrination

>>so they know at least somewhat of wx's pursual of wwx and the unrequited feelings

>>and it becomes obvious that wwx exchanged something - his freedom, hand in marriage, etc - to set all the disciples free

>>jc draws sandu and is about to go for wx's head bc how Dare he

>>but wwx stops him and tells him very firmly but desperately to not try anything, just go, tell shijie i'm sorry, it'll be ok

>>lwj does that death grip on his sword, 2 seconds away from taking wx's head himself

>>jzx is having lots of feelings about this and a lot aren't nice

>>especially with the weird sort of parallels as far as betrothals

>>also he kinda likes wwx?? they're kinda friends?? and they're brother-in-laws to be anyway

>>and even despite all that, the whole situation just Sucks and jzx is kinda an airhead but he's actually pretty noble

>>mianmian is

like So offended and enraged on behalf of everyone she's ready to throw hands

>>nhs is half horrified for his friend and half cold rage and plotting

>>what really worsens the situations is just how bad wwx is taking it

>>bc he always covers up his pain and worries, and very well at that

>>the fact that he can barely even fake a smile now, and has resolved to outright desperate pleading, not even teasing anyone, says a Lot about how bad things were while he was gone

>>they have suspicions about what wx might have done to wwx while they were alone

>>tl;dr: cr friends kinda have an idea of what wx has done and really want him dead

>>but wwx is forcing them out, and eventually they all do leave, miserably

>>they don't know what had happened for them to be let go with their swords and without consequences

>>and they don't want wwx suffering for their (not really helpful atm) stubbornness

>>jc is stiff and clenching his jaw the entire way home, trying to figure out ways to get wwx out

>>lwj is drowning in his emotions as he goes back to the burnt cr

>>mianmian, jzx, nhs are having very complicated thought processes about everything

>>nhs actually goes with lwj to cr first, to make sure he doesn't do anything dumb and to be a friend

>>drops him off, and eventually heads out after a few days (lqr is appraised of the situation)

>>and lo and behold, he happens to find lxc on his way home, and brings big bro lan back to cr

[ main . ao3 ]

[tr1ckntr3at]

hey!! can you list at least 5 of your ocs? - 🐀anon

Ofc!! I made pinterest aesthetic boards for them.

Celeste Lorenta

Full Name: Celeste Mary Lorenta

Nicknames: Cel, Celery, Loren

Age: whatever u want it to be, havent decided yet lololol-

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Lesbian

Birthday: 6/08

Species: Human

Powers: Puppet Strings

Ethnicity: Hispanic

Languages Spoken: A bit of spanish, mostly english, very fluent in chinese for some reason

Hair color: White

Eye color: Purple

Powers: Puppet strings

First Impression: Celeste is hyper and can be kind of loud. She's also super fast and...has a lot of money, for some reason.

Once you get to know them: She struggles with impulse control and has a bit of ADHD. Celeste does care about what others think, just tries not to.

Default Expression: ??? Idk, shes always sarcastic

MBTI Personality Type: ENFP i think-

Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?: Extrovert, all the way. maybe.

Habits: fidgeting with random stuff, humming, skip-walking (skipping and walking), laughing at random things (example: person drops a coin, she laughs)

Pet Peeves: people walking slow, being interrupted, being corrected

Likes: Mushrooms, cats, frogs, music, horror, true crime, insects

Favorite Food: Apple crisp

Favorite Animal: Frog

Favorite Colors: Pink, black, white, orange, or purple

Favorite Movie Genre: Horror

Favorite Style of Music: Anything dreamcore

Least Favorite Food: Apple pie (for some reason)

Least Favorite Animal: Dogs, too loud

Least Favorite Color: Green

Least Favorite Movie Genre: Romance

Hobbies: Loves collecting random things, like mushrooms, leaves, vintage coins

Leif Lazuli

Full Name: Leif Carlen Lazuli

Nicknames: Leafy, Lazu, Lazzy, L

Age: havent decided lmao

Gender: male

Sexuality: Bi, ace-aro

Birthday: 1/12

Species: idk, neko???

Powers: Enhanced hearing and seeing

Languages Spoken: English, German, French

Height: 6'4

Weight: 118 lbs.

Hair Color: Dark black-ish brown

Eye Color:Golden eyes

Skin Color: Ivory

Battle Marks(Scars, missing body parts, etc.): Scar on eyebrow

Type of teeth(Normal, fangs,etc): Fangs

First Impression: Rude, super blunt, doesn't care if he hurts other people, blah blah blah.

Once you get to know them: He's a bit nicer around you (if he even tolerates you, that is, but if he is nicer, he does tolerate you.). Every now and then, Leif offers to help you out with things. He's still rude tho >:(

MBTI Personality Type: ISTJ

Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?: Ambivert

Habits: Pen/pencil tapping, nail tapping, knee bouncing, being stuck in thought, talking too little

Fears: Being alone, failure

Likes: Insects, animals, nature, crystals, science, music

Favorite Food: Pavlova

Favorite Animal: Butterfly

Favorite Color: Purple, Black, white

Favorite Movie Genre: Mystery

Torinne Vixen

Full Name: Torinne Calip Vixen

Nicknames: Tori, Tor, Rinne, Vixie

Age: idk

Gender: Nonbinary

Sexuality: Pansexual

Birthday: 10/25

Species: Ghost

Powers: Walking through walls, invisibility, enhanced hearing

Height: 4'9

Weight: 94 lbs.

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Brown

Skin Color: Transparent, pale porcelain

Battle Marks(Scars, missing body parts, etc.): Small scar on lip

Type of teeth(Normal, fangs,etc): Normal teeth

First Impression: Usually, Tori is super timid and you end up starting the convo.

Once you get to know them: They're a really nice person. They struggle a bit with social anxiety. Torinne helps out a lot, but only ever rarely does anything for themself.

MBTI Personality Type: INFP

Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?: Introvert

Habits: Fidgeting, zoning out, knee bouncing, pen spinning, being disorganized, stuttering

Fears: Fire, heights, sharp objects

Pet Peeves: Being interrupted, when people talk too loudly or talk too much, people chewing loudly

Likes: Ghosts, frogs, animals, nature, witchcraft, crystals, fashion, history

Dislikes: Loud noises, arguing, being mocked, violence

Favorite Food: Tanghulu

Favorite Animal: Bearded dragon

Favorite Color: Sage green

Favorite Movie Genre: Horror

Favorite Book Genre: Fantasy, mystery

Favorite Style of Music: Indie

Least Favorite Food: Pies. any pies.

Least Favorite Animal: Shark

Least Favorite Color: Blue

Hobbies: Jewelry making, spell casting, collects crystals, goes on walks, reads, doodles, sings sometimes

Mark Le Torneau

Full Name: Mark Le Jaune Torneau

Nicknames: None, but you can make some for him since i couldnt think of anything lololol-

Age: idk

Gender: Male

Sexuality: "I'M NOT GAY" (Omni)

Birthday: 6/9

Species: Human

Powers: Temperature control (Example: can melt metal)

Height: 5'10

Weight: 129

Hair Color: Dark blue-ish-black

Eye Color: Green

Skin Color: Ivory

Battle Marks(Scars, missing body parts, etc.): Scars on back, one on left shoulder

Type of teeth(Normal, fangs,etc): Normal teeth

First Impression: Mark is super flirty, has good humor. Careful what you say around him though, even if it's a joke.

Once you get to know them: He's actually a nicer but also more sensitive guy. Mark..struggles to control himself from flirting as a joke. He just thinks it's funny. He also teaches a middle school history class.

MBTI Personality Type: INFJ

Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?: Ambivert

Likes: Music, nature, history, science, crime cases, art, travelling, books, astronomy, astrology

Dislikes: Loud noises, arguments, being mocked, bugs, being yelled at

Favorite Food: Blueberry dump cake

Favorite Animal: Husky

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Movie Genre: Mystery

Favorite Book Genre: Fantasy, horror

Least Favorite Food: Blueberry yogurt

Least Favorite Animal: Cats (he's scared of them lmao)

Least Favorite Color: Brown

Hobbies: Reading, teaching, cooking, painting, archery

Barrett Grimsbane

Full Name: Barrett Albert Grimsbane

Nicknames: Berry/Barrie, Grim

Age:idk

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight

Birthday: 1/15

Species: Human

Powers: Ice creation

Height: 6'7

Weight: 132 lbs.

Hair Color: White

Eye Color: White-ish silver

Skin Color: Pale Ivory

Battle Marks(Scars, missing body parts, etc.): Scar on the back of his neck

Type of teeth(Normal, fangs,etc): Normal

First Impression: You can never know how he's truly feeling. Barrett shows no emotions on the outside. He's just...him. But he's...nice. Maybe.

Once you get to know them: Barrett actually has a resting bitch face. And he also has good humor. Suprisingly, he knows a lot about video games for some unknown reason

MBTI Personality Type: INTJ

Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?: Ambivert

Habits: Playing the piano, humming, painting, gaming, making cat plushies, cooking

Fears: Being alone, rejection, failure, fire, dying (but not death, just doesn't want to die)

Pet Peeves: When people talk too much or too loudly, people chewing too loud, walking too slow, or just being annoying in general.

That's all! Sorry this took so long, rat 🐀 nonny! I was thinking of which OCs to put since I have so many. Sorry! Hope you like this.

-- Cai

[syrupa]

Hello there! I hope you are fine. I jist found you and I need to say, since I'm gay for these girls I'm absolutely delighted! If match-ups are open, I'd like to have a romantic matchup!

So uh I'm 17, INFP, a pisces and a pansexual, I use she/her pronouns. My love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch.

For the hobbies; I love watching anime, literature, myths, listening and observing people, comforting people or just listen their rantings, reading, listening music and singing.... I am not that good at gardening and stuff but sometimes I do this as well...

For my personality, I'm that mom-friend that every friend group has. Need some painkillers? BAM! Need some pads? Do you need 1 or 50? You are hurt? Don't worry I have an aid kit. Your stomach or head hurts? Honey, don't you worry I have a various kind of herb teas with myself.

If someone needs a shoulder to cry on, that person is me. If somebody hurts my friends I go like "So you are saying that he/she/they broke your heart? Okay give me the names and addresses. Now."I would deal with them and then say "So do I need to break some more faces?"

But I'm actually very kind and smiley. I'm the kind of person who smiles at strangers, hold the door for them, talk with a waiter casually and smile at them as well. I never judge someone for their nationality, skin color, language, sexuality etc. And If I see someone bully another person for these reasons or another one, I stand against the bully and if needed I beat them. Yet, I'm one hell of an insecure and anxious girl and I bite my lips a lot and I also pick at the skin of my fingers when I'm absolutely anxious and always carry band-aids to cover them because a few people in my family( not my parents though) made me feel bad about them but still, I don't like showing this vulnerable state of mine to everyone so I bottle up everything.

I may seem like an cold and serious person at first meeting but over time I'm the biggest goofball and crackhead you can ever see! Sometimes I'm a bit sarcastic and tease my closest friends a lot- ofc I never offend them. I know what they are insecure about( if they are, WHICH isn't allowed on my watch.) and my friends always tell me that I kinda flirt with them but I never realize and When I actually try to flirt, I can't? But I also know how to be serious as well.

My ideal date would probably be an indoor one. Like cooking together, watching a movie or reading a book or just cuddling while some soft music plays in the background.

For my likes and dislikes, I HATE the unnecessary hate. Like, to everyone and everything. Be it black people, asians, LGBTQ+ people, animals, like anyone living! I believe that everyone's life( except a few shits' 😡😤) is a gift so I seriously don't understand hate. I also hate eggplant since I have an allergy and the last time I ate it, I did vomit for 3 days🤮

For the likes, I guess I cannot really pinpoint something but I love books and every meal with chicken🤤! I also love cleaning and tidying up too!

That was soooo long and I apologize for that! I didn't want to include more since I literally poured everything about me here 😅 Thanks a lot in advance and I hope you have a great day! Bye bye👋

I match you with...

Toru Hagakure

You'd meet on a public bus. The two of you sat next to each other, minding each others business. However, Toru noticed you picking at your fingers. She lightly tapped your shoulder and offered you a napkin to cover it with. You kindly declined, telling her that you had some bandaids but she insisted you have the napkin just incase. In the end you thanked her and took the napkin.

After that, Toru started some small talk. Of course, you went along with it. The conversation went very well. She was a pretty funny girl who had you laughing a lot. Your interaction went so smooth, from afar it would look like you've been friends for ages. When she had to get off, she asked for your number. You happily gave it to her and she waved you goodbye.

You and Toru would message and meet up with each other often. If you said you didn't fancy the girl you would be lying. She was funny, nice, and cheerful! Who wouldn't? It started out as a small crush. But of course, it turned into you thinking about her 24/7. You had even started to drop everything just to hang out with her. In return, she would do the same for you.

Your other friends would tease you for this. To them, it was pretty obvious you liked Toru more than a friend. Your friends also noticed how she was always talking about you. She would try to message or be with you every second of the day. She'd also buy you little gifts saying they reminded her of you. Hell, she would even leave lingering touches. They told you all of this, wanting you to just confess. But, you would always tell them that you probably didn't deserve a girl like her and how she was just being kind.

This went on for almost two years. Two years of hanging out with her every single day. Two years of hiding your feelings for this girl. Your friends had stopped trying to get you to confess, thinking this was a hopeless situation. But Toru's friends on the other hand had just started. Mina had came up with a dramatic idea for Toru to confess. The invisible girl obviously didn't want to go through with the plan, saying she'd confess someday. But that didn't stop Mina.

One night while you were studying, you heard a noise from your window. You quietly opened the window, expecting it to be a bird or something. When you looked out, you saw Toru and her friends outside in cheerleading outfits. Toru was clearly embarrassed as Ochako put on some cheesy love song on from a speaker. They proceeded to perform a quick dance. In all honesty, it was pretty bad. But you'd be lying if you said it wasn't cute. At the end of the dance, Mina had shouted that Toru wanted to take you out someday. Giggling, you shouted back that you'd love to go out sometime.

Although that was extremely cringy and cheesy, it was funny and made for a fucking fantastic story to tell.

Once you finally made it offical, Toru became very clingy. She loved holding your hand and hugging you when you're not expecting it. After long and hard days, she'd pamper your face in kisses. On sleepless nights, you'd cuddle with her and read her mythical stories until you both fell asleep.

She adores how reliable you are. She often feels like a background character in her own life and doubts her abilities to become a hero. You're quick to comfort her and make sure she knows her worth. Of course, she does the same for you. Checking up on you, complimenting you, comforting you, etc. Toru is basically your personal cheerleader for life. When you're insecure or anxious, leave it to your loving girlfriend to reassure you and kiss your worries away!

She started carrying bandaids around herself for you. Even though you always have some, she brings extra just in case. When you started dating her though, you'd pick at your fingers less since she always wanted to hold hands. Whenever you're biting your lip, she taps your shoulder and asks you for a kiss.

When you accidentally flirt with her she gets really giggly and nervous. She never brought it up cause she didn't want to embarrass you so she just took it. It's so cute that you started to flirt with her on purpose. Once she realized you were doing it on purpose, she playfully hit your arm and said something along the lines of, "YOU CAN'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT [NAME]!"

Sometimes you and her lay down in her bed together while she rambles about her day. It's really relaxing for both of you. She likes to talk a lot and you like to listen. It's perfect! Also it's an excuse to hear her beautiful voice.

She started picking up on your motherly acts. Always providing everything people need with little to no hesitation, being the shoulder for her friends to cry on, etc. Toru really looks up to you and can say with confidence that you make her an overall better person.

Your playlist consist of many love songs. I don't make the rules. Also she encourages you to sing all the time. She loves hearing your voice. And when you two sing together? AAAAAAAA It's very cute and adorable. Everyone you meet is 100% at least a little jealous of your relationship.

Baking dates are her favorite! She's obviously not the best at baking but those dates are always filled with laughter and smiles. On those dates, you two try to make loads of desserts. Cookies, Cakes, Cinnamon Buns, etc. You both know it's not healthy but neither of you really care. The kitchen always ends up messy after these days. Once you and Toru decide it's time to call it a night, the day ends with midnight cuddles whilst a movie plays in the background.