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cult-of-husbandos · 1 year ago

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yami ai [yandere] - Hot Yandere Singles Near You

synopsis: you click on a random pop-up ad and are visited by weird smiling man in suit.

genre: pure crack (like fr), fluff, tbh there's not really a plot

word count: 4.4k

warnings: implied stalking

Isn’t insomnia just the worst? Like, seriously? What’s the point of being a human being with antiquated thoughts and impressive cognitive and motor skills when your brain fights you on the most basic stuff. For example, like sleeping!!

You must’ve refreshed YouTube and Twitter over a thousand times. Over 8 billion people in the world and there’s no new content anywhere? You groaned and jumped back over onto Twitter, silently praying and pleading for something new to show up on your feed. Maybe a wacky billionaire got eaten by a mob of homeless people or maybe a news article about a Floridian doing something gross and outrageous and virtually impossible.

But nope. Nothing.

Not a single thing piqued your interest. You groaned again and looked at the time on your dimly lit phone. It was past 2 a.m. and you were bored out of your mind. You then lazily clicked on Google and sighed.

‘Maybe someone posted a new fanfic over something…’ you hoped. And even if there wasn’t a new fic uploaded you’ll just read the old ones you favorited. Perhaps reading something might put you to sleep.

As you were scrolling through your favorite ship tags, you were startled by a pop up ad covering up 90% of the screen and flashing emojis.

“Ugh… seriously?” you groaned. “They should make ad-blockers on phones for this shit.” You squinted at the bright lettering emanating from your phone even though it was at the lowest brightness setting.

⚠️(99+) Hot Yandere Singles NEAR YOU⚠️

Yandere’s…? Singles? Near me?

The pop-up ad had flashing peach, cherry, and eggplant emojis with a water splash emoji at the end to signify… well, you’re not sure what it was trying to signify. On the sides of the ad, it showed pictures of very gorgeous men and women, all striking suggestive poses. Underneath the title was a small summary that read. ‘These lonely desperate yanderes wanna meet you! They’ll most likely find you anyway, but wouldn’t you rather be the honey to a bee instead of a fly? Try it NOW for FREE!! No hookups! No catfishes! No sign ups!’ Then below that were a few empty boxes to fill out requiring your personal information.

"..."

Was this a porn ad?!

No way at 2:45 in the freaking morning did you just get a porn pop-up ad while googling mafia au fanfiction. This has to be some kind of joke. Maybe it was prank and someone was just fucking with you. And how and why would there be 99+ yanderes in your area?! You couldn’t be surrounded by that many psychos. Could you? Whatever the case may be, it was now past 2 a.m. and as the rule of life states ‘Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.’. You don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or just reckless curiosity, but you gave your shoulders a shrug and mumbled a ‘fuck it’ as you put in your information. Your name, number, gender, age, preferred sex, email, and mailing address. As you clicked submit and continued scrolling, you gave very little thought about how this would go down.

On one hand, the ad turns out to be real and you get a partner out of this. Or

You get quartered, stalked, doxxed, and murdered like the dumbass you are for putting your personal info into a sketchy porno-like pop-up on Google.

Or, it turns out to be a prank and some asshole sitting in a basement has a good laugh at you.

Meh. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

*****

You were jolted awake with the sound of rapid knocking coming from your front door. You groaned into your pillow as you tried to ignore the person desperately wanting your attention from outside your apartment. You finally got some sleep only for it to get interrupted. Only minutes and minutes of continued knocking without any signs of letting up, you decide to get up and shoo away whoever it was. You wearily grabbed your phone to check the time.

8:02 a.m.

You huffed as you stormed towards the front door.

“If this a fucking Jehova’s Witness, I swear to god…” you grumbled. You swung open the door and threw the person a harsh glare, only to be met with popping sounds as confetti flew in your face.

“Good morning, my dear darling~!! Are you ready to begin on the road to happiness and love?” the stranger shouted a far too happy tone for 8 in the morning.

You took a step back in shock, fully awake as you waved and dusted the confetti from your face and hair. You looked the strange man up and down. He was smiling ear to ear and wore an expensive looking suit to warm for the summer weather. A briefcase stood right beside him along with dozens of other party poppers and a white plastic bag filled with brown bottles with oddly enough no labels on them. You looked at the man’s face. He was surprisingly attractive and without a single flaw anywhere. His hair was jet black and shined a very prominent gloss. You were honestly kind of embarrassed to be seen by him when you looked like such a mess. The man let out a chuckle.

“Oh my.” he said, gently putting his hand over his mouth with vague concern. “I hope I didn’t startle you too much. I probably should’ve sent you an email notifying you of the time I was coming. I’m sorry that must’ve been a troubling awakening.”

You quirked your eyebrow and took another step back, grabbing onto the doorknob so that you could slam it right in his face if things got too weird.

“And… you are?”

“Oh my, oh my. Where are my manners? How careless of me to assume.” The man bowed with a curtsy. “I am the ‘Matchmaker’. My job is to pair two people with their fated soulmate and give each of my clients their happily ever after. It’s very nice to meet you, (Y/N) (L/N).”

You felt a chill crawl down your spine. How’d this weirdo know your name?! You tried to close the door as fast as you could, but the ‘Matchmaker’ was even faster. He clicked his tongue at you, his smile unchanging, but his eyes seemed to harden his gentle tone.

“My, how rude. Is that any way to treat a guest?” He let out another chuckle. “You’ll never find love that way.”

“H-How did you know my name?” you stuttered.

Again, another chuckle. What was so funny? “My dear~. You gave it to me.”

What the hell was he talking about? How could you have given this creep your name? Was he a stalker? A junkie? Noticing the confusion on your face, the man spoke up again.

“Oh my dear. Do you really not remember?” he asked, tilting his head in feign innocence. “You filled out an ad to meet singles in your area. And here I am, coming to fulfill that ad.”

You eased up on the tension you had on the door and tilted your head in surprised confusion. “That was a real ad?”

The man stood up tall and smiled earnestly again. “Of course. However, you are the first person to actually fill out that ad. Really, this is more of a celebration to both of us.”

Huh, so the pop-up ad was real.

Not a prank.

And now there’s a psycho standing at your front door promising you a partner from an actual yandere.

“I honestly thought it was a prank. I mean… yanderes? Isn’t that just an anime thing?”

“Oh, I assure you my darling.” he said with a snide smirk. “Yanderes are real. And when they heard about signing up, it was like tossing chicken in a sea of alligators. All clamoring to be the first person to take a bite.”

Okay, gross but kind of sweet.

“May I come in?”

“Huh?”

“Well, my dear. It would be easier to come in and talk through the process of how this goes instead of standing here.”

“Oh, um… Suuuree-”

“Great! My my darling~. What a lovely home. Very well decorated.” The man quickly strided into your house and made himself comfortable in your living room, looking as if he was analyzing every detail about your house.

Richard Chase would’ve loved your dumbass.

You shut the door and followed him into your own apartment and offered him a seat on your couch. Might as well, right? You’ve gone this far and you're still alive.

“Umm…” you hesitantly shifted from one foot to another. “Do you… um… want some coffee maybe? Or tea? Maybe a glass of water? If you haven;t eaten breakfast yet, I whip you up something.”

Yeah, sure. Feed the man with only a title for a name and waltzed right into your house after showing up after you put in your personal information into a random pop-up ad at 3 a.m. promising you a happy life with hot single yanderes in your area. You are the pinnacle of human genius. The apex of natural selection. The creme de la creme of common sense. Charles Darwin would be so impressed.

“How thoughtful. Just coffee would be fine. Thank you.”

After brewing a quick pot, you sat across from the man facing him heads on and gently slid him his steaming cup. After a while of taking little sips in weird silence, he spoke up again.

“Before we continue, I’d just like to say: Thank you so much for applying for this wonderful opportunity!! Not many people would click on an ad requiring doxxing information to meet their soulmates! Again, congrats on being our number one willing client!”

“Willing client?” you asked.

“Well, of course! For some reason, humans seem to really love the idea of a yandere until there’s one standing on their front porch!” he laughed.

“Humans? I’m sorry. Are you not human, Mr…?”

“Ah ah! No need for formalities! Just ‘The Matchmaker’ or simply ‘Matchmaker’.

“Oh, so… you don’t have a true name? Or is that just a title?”

“Oh darling~.” he sang sweetly. “That’s none of anyone’s fucking business, is it?”

Your eyes widened and let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay, got it! Just Matchmaker. Lovely name. Adore it. In fact, I love when strange mysterious men only give a title for a name.” What the hell does that even mean? You had no idea what you were saying anymore.

“Heh, smart cookie.” He winked. “Shall we begin?”

“Um, yeah, so… how does this work exactly?” you finally asked.

“Simple, my dear darling. Think of this as an ordinary matchmaking appointment. I have a stack of potential soulmates all ready to meet you. I have the same information about them that I also have of you. Each potential soulmate also has a picture so if you don’t really feel up to meeting face-to-face just yet you can look over the picture and see who captures your heart.”

“Face-to-face? So these guys have my picture too?” “Of course! And might I say, those pictures don’t do you justice. In all my years in this business, I’ve never seen such an obsession and overload of potential soulmates for just one person.”

You lightly blushed. “I-I don’t know about that… I barely got any sleep last night so I probably look like a zombie right now…”

“Au contraire, Darling. You look absolutely stunning. If I weren’t such a professional I would burn all these forms and claim you as my one and only~.”

You felt your entire face flush red as the Matchmaker pierced your soul with his longing gaze. It felt like he was staring into your very essence – like he could read you like a book. You nervously cleared your throat and shifted your eyes away, hoping to bring down your blush.

“S-So! Um… should we get started?” you stuttered, internally kicking yourself for being so easily flustered by a couple of smooth words. Ted Bundy would’ve had a field day with your dumbass.

“Ready whenever you are, my dear.” The Matchmaker set his briefcase on your coffee table and pulled out a single form and slid it over towards you. “Let’s start off with an easy one.”

You looked at the form along with the picture of a very attractive man paperclipped to the paper. According to the form, his name is Hamazawa Akita. He was in his early 20’s, had a varying array of hobbies from hiking to scuba diving, and was very much in love with you.

“Well, what do you think?”

“Hm, well, he’s very cute. And very active.”

“Would you like to meet him?”

“Um, sure… is there a number I could call or…?”

“No need! We can bring him in right now.” The Matchmaker snapped his fingers and you whipped your head towards the front door where Akita strolled in, all smiles. You looked back over the Matchmaker. “Did I not lock my door? Wait. More importantly, how’d he get here?!”

The Matchmaker smiled. “My dear, when you’re in this business you pick up a few tricks.” He then turned his attention towards Akita who now stood in the middle of the living room. “No. 1 would you like to introduce yourself?”

Akita stood tall and his eyes seemed to beam directly at you. “My name is Hamazawa Akita. Ever since I saw your picture I’ve dreamed about sweeping you off your feet and claiming you all to myself!”

“So, like 8 hours ago?”

“Yes!! But those hours feel like years when being away from you.”

“Hmm.”

“So, what do you think? Are you feeling the butterflies?”

You looked up Akita up and down and your face twisted as if you’re deciding on whether or not to buy a car or a piece of clothing.

“Um, to be honest my guy. I’m not feeling it.”

“Huh?”

“Excuse me, my darling?”

“Weeeelllll…. I mean, don’t get me wrong! You’re very attractive and your words are sweet, but I don’t think I believe any of it. Like, you just admitted to wanting me all to yourself only 8 hours ago, but I don’t really feel anything. Not even a shiver.”

The Matchmaker and Akita both looked at each other like they weren’t really expecting that. With a quick wave of his hand, Akita slumped his shoulders and headed towards your front door. You shouted out an apology as the dejected suitor walked out.

“Well, I didn’t expect that. I don’t normally get such competent clients. At least those that get past kicking and screaming.” The Matchmaker grinned. You shrugged.

“I guess I just know what I like. All the anime I’ve watched kind of gives you that high standard of what makes a yandere a real yandere, y’know?”

He nodded. “I cannot agree more. Well, we have plenty more where that came from. Shall we continue?”

*****

Papers were strewn across your coffee table in an unorganized fashion as both you and your estranged guest were tired beyond belief. You had no idea how many hours had passed nor how many guests were in and out of your apartment. You’re honestly surprised none of your neighbors complained or called the police. Your apartment would’ve looked like a clown car if anyone had been watching from the outside. You honestly lost count after No. 256. You let out another yawn and laid on your side trying your best to keep your eyes open. Maybe 2 hours of sleep wasn’t enough for the multiple interviews you had to conduct today. Maybe your 9th grade biology teacher was right. Maybe you are going to die alone. A weary sigh brought you from your thoughts.

“My, my. You are definitely the most high standard client I’ve ever had. I didn’t think we’d get to the triple digits in just one day.”

You also sighed and sat up in your seat. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… All these guys are cute and all, but they’re all lacking something. They’re either too forceful or not forceful enough. Too wimpy or too strong. Or too obsessed or just incredibly so lovesick that I feel like they’d fall in love with just about anyone who’d be willing. Ugh, why can’t this be simpler like adopting an animal?” You groaned. You also hadn’t thought this would take this long. You didn’t really think of yourself as having high standards until today. Until today, you’d be happy with anyone close to you in age and with a heartbeat. Who knew picking out a yandere soulmate would be so challenging. And who knew that there’d be so many willing participants! The Matchmaker reached into his briefcase and pulled another stack of forms and slid them over to you. There must be at least over a hundred papers in front of you. How did he have so many?!

“How about we switch things up, hm? You’ll look over the papers and when you see someone that catches your eye, I’ll bring him in.” He made it sound like you were adopting a dog or a cat. But if this made it go any faster, you were willing to try.

After about 3 more stacks of papers, you were starting to lose hope and patience. When you got to the last few papers, you stopped dead in your tracks. Woah baby!

“Woah baby!” you exclaimed.

“Did you find someone you like?” The Matchmaker asked hopefully.

“Oh yeah. This guy.” You showed him the paper. He furrowed his brows a little.

“Are you sure? I don’t think I remember this man. His name and face don’t seem familiar.”

“Really? Maybe he’s a late entry or something?”

Matchmaker stroked his chin in thought. “I’ll go check it out. Be right back, dear. I’m very sorry for this inconvenience.”

You waved off his apology with a smile and he left your apartment. You then leaned back with a groan. You just wanted to find your ‘soulmate’ or whatever and move on with this day. You closed your eyes for a second and waited patiently for Matchmaker to come back.

Tap tap tap

Just like deja vu, you were awoken by rapid knocking. Except this time it wasn’t coming from your front door.

Tap tap tap tap

It sounds like it’s coming from… your window?

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap

You quickly got up and walked towards your window and opened it.

“Woah!” You jumped back a little as you were met face to face with the man that you had picked out and that the Matchmaker went to go find.

‘Wow… he’s even cuter in person!!’

He let out a delicious chuckle and gave you a charming smile.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, darling~. Hehe, though I think that fear in your eyes was worth it. So adorable~.” For the second time today, a complete weirdo stranger has made you blush. Wait…

“Wait! I don’t have a balcony and I’m on the third floor. How’d you-?” You peeked over the window to see if he was pulling a Criss Angel.

“I have incredible grip strength~.” he winked.

“Oooh I’m sure~.” you swooned. For a weirdo, he was a smooth talking weirdo.

“Oh, I got these for you, sweetheart~.” He pulled himself up and sat on your windowsill and pulled out a bouquet of roughly cut flowers from behind him. You gasped and grabbed them, giving them a smell.

“These are my favorite!! How did you know? I don’t think that was one of the pieces of info required for the Matchmaker.” you asked.

The stranger chuckled. “Easy. I never filled out that stupid application.”

You looked up from your flowers and titled your head like a confused puppy.

“I already know everything about you. I don’t need a stupid piece of paper to tell me what I already know about you. Like, how I know that you have secret sweets hidden all throughout your room. Or that whenever you have a good day you love to sing Stray Kids.”

He inched closer to you as you backed up further into the room.

“You won’t eat frozen pizza, but every so often you eat a lobster roll from a food truck from Gary on Main St.. You have life destroying evidence of your boss that you’re planning on using on your last day. You’ve seen the Barbie movie 5 times. And…”

You felt your legs hit the couch and tried to keep yourself from falling onto your back like a defenseless turtle.

“Your favorite anime is… Dar-” You quickly covered the stranger’s mouth with a furious blush.

“I only watch it ironically!! I don’t love it! It’s not my favorite!” you quickly clarified. The gravity of the situation was made perfectly clear after that. This man really knew all about you. Honestly, you’re so loud that you’re pretty sure that people on the ground outside could hear you singing. And you don’t really pay attention to your surroundings so it's easy for someone to know that you eat from a food truck every other week at specific times. But, knowing your favorite secretly watched anime?

“W-Who… are you?” you stuttered. You’re pretty sure you already knew the answer.

He laughed and you felt his lips brush against your fingers. You blushed and tried to pull back, only to be stopped by his hands.

“Sweetie~. You already know who I am.” He grabbed the paper from the stack and put it next to his face. “See? I’m Yami Ai. Your soulmate.”

Before you could even process what was happening, you were gently pushed onto the couch with Yami hovering over you holding your hands beside your head. You couldn’t stop the blush erupting from your neck to your face. Your heart was beating way too fast and your stomach felt jumpy and queasy. Butterflies.

You cleared your throat. “Um… so, if you didn’t fill out a form then how come The Matchmaker had your profile and picture? And why didn’t you use the front door?”

Yami smirked and leaned in closer. “It’s pretty simple to pull off when your apartment does security checks on new guests entering the building.”

“But, my apartment doesn’t–” you stopped. “Ooooh… So you impersonated a security guard, slipped your profile and info into his briefcase, and were planning on showing up as one of the potential singles? That’s… convoluted. But, smart.” You shrugged. “And since you obviously knew which floor I was on and which window was mine, I assume you’ve been watching me for a while and were watching me last night when I couldn’t sleep?”

Yami laughed again. “You are so smart~. You really catch on quickly, don’t you?”

You shrugged again with a nervous smile. “W-Well, obviously not smart enough to not put in my personal info and have strange men come in and out of my apartment.”

Yami was quick to turn his gentle smile into a hard, harsh frown. His grip on your wrists grew tighter and you winced under the force he placed in you.

“You know, my darling. It’s partially my fault. If I hadn’t backed out and taken you that night, you’d never be in this situation. With those men eyeing you up and down like you were theirs. Having that smiling freak calling you ‘dear’ and ‘darling’ when only I can call you that. I was planning on getting rid of the competition, but you did that for me.”

Yami loosened his grip and lifted you up, staring into your eyes. You blushed again.

“Rejection after rejection. Some guys didn’t even get 2 words out before you turned away. Of course my darling would only want the most perfect man. Isn’t that right, darling~?”

“Hehehe~” you leaned in with a giggle. “You’re so sweet~.”

You are such a baby for flattery.

*****

“My dear darling, I’m so very sorry for the inconvenience. I didn’t mean to be gone for so long, but I could not find this person you–” Matchmaker explained, rushing in and stopping dead in his tracks when he saw both you and Yami, the man who left 30 minutes ago to go find, eating breakfast in the living room.

Sitting in his lap.

And feeding each other.

“Oh! Matchmaker!” you exclaimed, quickly swallowing your food. You didn’t notice Yami tightening his grip on your waist nor did you notice the cold glare and tense atmosphere enveloping the room. “Look who I found~.”

“I see…” he said hesitantly.

“He climbed up the building and came in through the window.”

“My~. How romantic~.” he sang. “So, I take it that you are satisfied with your soulmate? Or… do you wish to continue searching?” he asked teasingly. Before Yami could say anything, you quickly spoke again.

“Yep! I’m sure.” You ruffled Yami’s hair and nuzzled up against him. “I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.” Yami hugged you closer to his chest as you giggled. “Plus, he makes the most amazing breakfast in the world, so extra points!” you cheered. You reached out towards the Matchmaker’s briefcase.

“Here you go! I put all the papers back in for you.”

Matchmaker quickly walked over and grabbed his briefcase along with your hand. “Well, my dear. It’s been an honor. You are truly the most remarkable and memorable client I have ever had.” he said with a bow and made his way towards the door. However, before leaving he chuckled and looked back at the both of you. “Although, it’s a shame,” he sighed. “Maybe if I had stayed, I would’ve snatched you up myself.”

And with a final loud laugh, The Matchmaker disappeared, but not before Yami stood up to lounge and attack the fleeting man like a guard dog. You snorted and caressed his face to calm him down. “Relax, Yami. He’s just joking.”

“Well, I hated his joke. Fuckin’ freak…” he grumbled. “And it’s Ai. You’re mine now. You should get used to calling each other by our first names.”

You smiled and leaned against him. “Okay, Ai. Whatever you say.”

“And if a man comes to the door, never EVER answer it, got it!”

“Mhm.”

“I’m serious, darling. I’ll gouge their eyes out right in front of you.”

“Yes sir.”

The rest of your life was going to be very interesting. Suck it, Ms. Braxton. I guess you’re the one dying alone. Because you have a yandere boyfriend! And she has gonorrhea. Bitch.

---

a/n: this is so shit. i'm so sorry that i've been MIA for a while. work has been pretty crazy and i haven't really felt much motivated to write. however, i'm trying to get back into it now. with this goofy shit. kind of a joke piece, but i needed to write something silly and not serious at all to relax. (also i've been writing since 4 a.m., so...) anyways, i'm going to try and update regulary or at least post something.

Here's my YouTube. I make anime playlists.

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minijenn · 1 month ago

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Aftter a very lengthy time, I am finally open for writing and art commissions again!

As per usual, feel free to send me a PM through any of the above channels to request yours! Also, bear in mind that all payments will be processed over PayPal and that that all commissions must be paid full price up front before I will start working on them. Also generally all prices are negotiable but I will uphold to the above prices mostly (though the line is blurred a little for the bigger projects)

As for what I’ll draw, basically here’s that list:

Art Commissions:

Universe Falls stuff (regular, AU, hypothetical stuff, you name It and I’ll pretty much do it (with some exceptions of course)

Stuff for these fandoms:

Gravity Falls

Steven Universe

Owl House

Amphibia

Kingdom Hearts (extra cost, see above) (also includes Keys to the Kingdom based art)

Legend of Zelda (extra cost, see above) (also includes Shades of the Sea based art)

Disney (Any of their animated movies fit, also Pixar)

Other Nintendo franchises (Mario, Animal Crossing, Metroid, ect.)

(anything outside this stuff… I’m not very likely to have any talent in drawing, so be aware)

Expect pretty much anything to be in my usual styles, as seen above, unless you have a specific request for a different style (which could cost a little extra, depending on how challenging it is)

The most characters you can request in a colored character sketch is 6 (there is no character limit for uncolored)

I will draw character death/blood/violence/gore/ect but not in an explicit manner

Here’s what I won’t draw:

NSFW (like at the very most I’ll draw a kiss tbh)

Ships I don’t support (and if you ask for one of these, I’ll let you know if I won’t go for it)

Fandoms/crossovers I’m not familiar with

I do reserve the right to reject or accept requests based on personal reasons!

Writing Commissions

These are pretty much only gonna be for drabbles and oneshots and the prices are as follows:

$10 per 500-1000 word drabble

$20 per 1000 word oneshot

+$5 per every 500 words over that base 1000 (max I’ll do is 5000 words)

As for the kinds of writing commissions I’ll be taking, basically any theme/AU/prompt goes, but keep in mind I’ll only be writing for these three things:

Universe Falls (this includes all of its AUs)

Kingdom Hearts/Keys to the Kingdom (includes AUs as long as I’m familiar with them/comfortable writing for them)

Legend of Zelda (any game/includes AUs)

And as for the rules of these writing prompts, they’re as such:

I won’t write any sort of porn/smut/lemon, other gross stuff

I won’t write for any ship I’m not familiar with/comfortable with

I won’t write anything with any non-canon OCs in it, sorry fam, they’re yours, not mine

Any and all tones are allowed, from teeth-rotting fluff to the angstiest of angsts

Be as specific as possible when requesting a writing prompt, just so I can make sure I’m giving you what you want (i.e. include a brief blurb of a plot you want me to tackle, or if you don’t have one in mind, a quote or a prompt works too! Heck, even just a character interaction you might want to see me take on is fine)

Lengths are negotiable, everything here is by a case by case basis

Again, I do reserve the right to reject or accept requests based on personal reasons!

Feel free to forward any questions you may have my way! As mentioned before, please send commission requests via PM please!

Commissions will likely remain open for the next week, depending on how many I end up getting. Very excited to see what ya'll have me draw/write this time around ^_^

#jen draws #jen writes #commissions #artists on tumblr #commissions open #universe falls #gravity falls #steven universe #legend of zelda #kingdom hearts #disney #cartoon network #nintendo #super mario #owl house #amphibia

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lightgriffinsect · 8 months ago

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OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO HATES COUGAR’S CONTENT

before he started making those weird shipping videos I actually liked his fnf comic dub but then he started making content farm shipping videos at first I didn’t mind until the thumbnails for the videos started becoming really suggestive

and yes I know fnf is not a kid friendly game but it got really annoying and gross that every tabi video is just him being harassed by that tall girl (I forgot her name) and most of the videos were giving toxic couples vibes like seriously why is tabi always getting paired with a bunch of female characters like what is this a love triangle anime????😭😭😭

it doesn’t help the fact that cougar's voice B3 boyfriend from the B3 remixed mod so with this shit going on it can cause the dev team to kick him off (I hope they does because honestly his voice doesn’t fit B3 boyfriend) and find a new va

and now he’s making farm content videos of the smiling critters from poppy playtime by making them hot furry characters LIKE DUDE THOSE ARE CHILDREN TOYS WHY ARE YOU SEXUALIZING!???!?!?!?!?!

So yeah I hope someone can tabi away from this man

the tall girl you're referring to is Nikusa, the kinda-sorta villain(?) of FNF Entity. she's an awesome character who also doesn't deserve the crap Cougar put her through.

speaking of which, EXACTLY???? I never liked cougar's dubs at all tbh; even comics that I personally had read beforehand, which had no hints of romance or shipping whatsoever, became so uncomfortably sexual and harem-y the moment Cougar got permission to dub them. i imagine there were artists who didn't want their work cast in this light at all, and I just feel horrible for them. it's really gross.

and honestly??? FNF being a mature game has NOTHING to do with the overly sexual thumbnails and blatant disrespect of Homskiy's and other creators' wishes for their characters. that doesn't make it okay at all. it doesn't matter how family friendly an IP is, if it's popular, people who only value views WILL come up with the most disgusting clickbait garbage as long as it gets them attention. content farms will oversexualize the most innocent of child-friendly characters in order to get views. FNF being for older audiences doesn't make it better.

cougar's channel has become nothing more than one of these farms. he just happens to be using a former friend's beloved character as a mascot, which only makes it worse.

it reminds me of the downfall of Gametoons and EnchantedMob, ngl. they used to make awesome videos with genuine effort and well-thought out plotlines. now their content is in a similar state. it's disgusting. the fact that cougar has let his standards devolve to this is abhorrent.

every artist has boundaries when it comes to fanart of their work. for such a renowned person in the FNF fandom, with such a large platform, to NOT make sure he isn't crossing those boundaries, and in fact actively disrespect them, sets a terrible precedent for future "big" mod devs to follow.

cougar absolutely cannot get away with this. too many other people in this fandom have, but this is something everyone has borne witness to. it is 2024, and we're sick of seeing this. we want every scrap of what we have left.

i honestly hope the remaining mod devs are doing alright. i haven't talked about them much but their experience working on Vs. Ex is no less valid. it's sickening that cougar took advantage of minors to finish all the work on their own so he could slack off. again, an ADULT could not be bothered to handle anything of the mod development, so he left it all to the rest of the team that he was leading, most of whom were MINORS.

cougar must be held accountable for his blatant disregard for Homskiy's boundaries, breaking his trust and using his beloved character against him. no one should forget how he exploited his underage co-devs to dump all the stress of finishing the mod on them.

Tabi's character is beloved to not only Homskiy and the other devs who actually worked on the mod, not only the Entity creators, but to all of us. everyone in the FNF fandom who has gone out of their way to make art for Tabi, everyone who has cared enough to even praise this art, to seek it out, we know this character's worth. we are the ones who value him.

the same goes for Nikusa, and Ayana, and every other character that he's reduced to shipping fodder and suggestive thumbnail art. I just hope outsiders and people who only know them through cougar's "dubs" will understand the same.

#i always knew he was a bad person but now that it's out in the open i can't stop ranting. i can't stop being angry about this.#friday night funkin #fnf #fnf tabi #tabi fnf #givetabiback #cougar macdowall va #thanks for the ask!#lightgriffinsalt

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reylogirlie · 6 months ago

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(Some of) My other ships

Now, Reylo is my OTP. It is what I consider to be one of the best fictional love stories of all time.

I mean, look at them?!?With that being said, however, I wanted to make a post about my other ships. None come near Reylo, but I just wanted to gush a bit. I wonder if we have any other ships in common So here in no order, is my list:

Bunnydoll- Amazing Digital Circus

Okay, I know it’s confirmed we’re getting no main romance from this show. And I know Jax is supposed to be an ass no one likes. With that being said, they were lowkey cute in the episodes shown so far.

The look he gives her when he says “She (Pomni) still thinks this is a dream.” Or when he calls her Dollface 😫😫😫😫 (I’m whipped for pet names) there’s even like a live zoom call between the cast posted on YT where Jax’s va says “I love you Ragatha” at the request of a fan and it’s so cute 🥹 I also got parent vibes from them in the pilot when they were showing Pomni around.

It’s giving strict mom and idgaf dad.

Ik it’s probably not gonna be cannon and I don’t care that much if it is (does not hold the place in my heart that Reylo does) but I think there’s potential there. Maybe I enjoy their fannon a bit more than cannon, idk 🤷‍♀️

Felix and Tamora - Wreck it Ralph

Now, they are so wholesome like 🥹

He’s so whipped from her from the very start. I love their love story in the first movie. Felix is so whipped for her from the start, and she doesn’t trust easily due to her trauma.

Yet, Tamora warms up to him steadily and eventually realizes that the two have fallen in love- and it’s okay that she’s learned to love again, she’s not betraying her original love and that just because he went out horribly doesn’t mean Felix will.

I also love how Felix is patient and respectful towards her. When he learned their term “dynamite gal” triggered/upset Tamora, he never said that again. He resorted to other names (lady love, Tammy, etc) and I love that. He’s not perfect, and he was clearly a bit tone death towards Ralph in the beginning of the movie, but he really is a great guy. I sorta get the nice landers- I’d wanna be his friend too if I was in a video game tbh.

They’re wonderful, I love them.

Buzz and Jessie- Toy

Them. I had a Jessie, Buzz, and Bullseye doll when I was little-

(I was also Jessie for Halloween one year)

Anyways, I’ve always loved them. Again, opposites attract. Jessie has extreme trust issues from being abandoned. She still gets anxiety from being in tight spaces.

Buzz knows how to calm her during panick attacks, he always reassures her she won’t end up alone, and he’s who taught her how to trust again.

Even when he’s switched by Lotso, he still finds her beautiful 🥹

Jessie also brings out a different side to him- even got him to Spanish dance in front of everyone at the end of 3 ☺️

They always steal the show, and I can’t wait to see them in Toy Story 5 (Yall can tell Iove Toy Story, right?)

Chilli and Bandit-Bluey

Okay, as of right now they’re probably my second favorite ship. Like I’ve even written fics about them (not nearly as much as Reylo, but a few) and I could go on.

What I absolutely LOVE about Chilli and Banditis the fact that they give something fresh to cartoon. Most tv parents are either toxic or they simply exist as parents and not a couple. Like not toxic per se but they exist to raise the protagonist.

But Chilli and Bandit? They are still so in love and they have a relationship outside of being parents. They disagree sometimes, but what married couple doesn’t??? They still make time for each other despite their busy lives, and they allow each other to still spend time with their friends and go out.

Not to mention, they show their daughters what they should want in a relationship someday. They’re still affectionate despite their gross (yet typical) tendencies, they take the L for each other (Bandit eating Bingos special so she feels important and Chilli doesn’t have to suffer/ Chilli telling the girls to lay off Bandit when they’re mad about moving despite agreeing with them), they’re gentle with each other when the other is triggered/upset (The Show/ Stockbrid) and overall, they know how to balance parenting, their love, their work, friends, and family all while being so damn cute.

The fact whenever Bluey or Bingo pretend to be a married adult and use the term “bahbe” implies that Bandit speaks like that to Chilli 🥹 (honestly cannon because we see their sweet talk all the time)

They’re just so sweet, wholesome, healthy, and they’re honestly my favorite part of Bluey.

So there’s my other ships. I wonder if we have any in common 🤩 If you want a part two I’m down for it, but don’t worry this is still a Reylo blog and that will still be my main content :)

#Reylo #ships #otps #buzzxjessie #jessiexbuzz #felixxtamora #tamoraxfelix #jax x ragatha #ragatha x jax #the amazing digital circus #wreck it ralph #Toy Story #banditxchilli #chillixbandit #Bluey #ship list

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gotham-inconvenience · 4 months ago

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Pinned post (part 2: electric boogaloo)

Hey! I'm Amber, a teenager in Gotham! I like close-up magic and taking care of my cat (her name is Nugget). Feel free to send me asks about living in my hellhole city, or if you just wanna ask about my weird arm. I never know what's going on tbh but i try Also apparently im @irl-batsignal's protégé now so yippee life is beautiful

OOC: This blog is ran by @caterpisser (my art account so if you wanna see some of my other dc stuff or even my non dc stuff feel free teehee) Basic roleplay boundaries and personalish info: asks are encouraged but don't send me anything sexual. my character AND ME are both minors angst is mooossstlllyyyy off the table. I'm here to be silly but if I'm open to angst I'll make a post about it. I gotta be honest I don't keep up with canon too much but who does atp (although i do wanna be better at it smh). Again I'm here to have fun and be silly. I do always want to learn more but I'm only gonna be learning about the stories I'm interested in (which are the more niche ones) dont ask about batcest its weird and gross please dont do any shipping stuff with them thx :/ In case you wanna know what they look like teehee

Base design

robot arm

Design notes: this is kinda her standard design (pre arm loss design). I wanted her to look almost inhuman hence her skin tone. tbh im still working on her lore so idk if it's because she lives in gotham and shes caught in the crossfires of joker gases, scarecrow stuff and other nonsense or if she's literally not human (will update as i figure it out lol) I really didn't intend on her being anything other than a silly self insert so that's why everything is so rough right now. I will update this post with other refs of her as i make them thumbup Some other knowledge about her I guess Pronouns: they/she She's probably a lesbian (self insert moment) their favorite vigilante is Signal (ig this is important idkkk) they also like Zatanna (its like a celebrity crush typa thing lol)

#dc rp #dc comics #dc #dc rp blog #dc oc #dc oc rp #gotham oc #amber cinth

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thebottomfromhell · 1 year ago

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Heyyy!!! i dont know if ur gonna see this but I was wonder if you could write headcanons or like anything really with a male reader who is the disgust clone and is not subtle with how disgusted by EVERYTHING he is but then again hes like gorgous but untouchable cuz hell hurl insults at you for looking at him could you do that the other hantengu clones idk if thats selfcest or nah if u dont want to thats cool!!! I hope you have a good day and I love ur writing<333

Hey anon! Thank you for the concern, I'm glad you like my works, it makes me happy when people show their enjoyment with them.

And yes... it would be self-cest. Any ship with any Hantengu clone x Hantengu clone is self-cest. I could start on with how the theme of multiverse has normalized this types of relationships but nobody wanta to go into that rabbit hole.

I was conflicted when I first recieved this, but then again, I never said anything about self-cest so it's on me(tbh I never thought I would need to). I will make it platonic and leave some hints with Karaku [this work will be mostly focused on the inability to scape their respective emotion], but I won't be giving the idea a positive light nor will I romantize it (same thing I mostly do with non-con, I write it but I don't think it's ok and somehow it shows). Hope it comes acceptable.

Disgust Hantengu clone! Reader (Male Demon) dynamic with Clones

Warnings: Cannibalism, Hints of implied self-cest, Implied hint of sextal content, Use of excesive violence, Sekido deadnames reader, Slight angst and non-erotic "slut-shaming".

Your name is supposed to be Ken'o, you know that, it's what you are, what you were created to exclusively feel. Disgust, dislike, antipathy... Ken'o... It's only fitting that you felt disgust of your own name. You hate it, you already hated it the second you heard it in your head and felt it in your heart the second another's demon head was becoming your own body, feeling the gross sensation of flesh stretching, the ticklish bone growth and the scent of blood and organs that were being produced on that same second. Disgusting, it's all togustings, since just after that you have to meet the dirty ground and slayers, usually ending with your perfectly tidy and clean robes stained with whatever dust, earth or blood you will be facing. It doesn't help to see the others. "Would you stop FUCKING complaining about EVERY SINGLE DETAIL for ONE SECOND?! I swear Ken'o, you are making me so angry I will blow up your pathetic ass!"

That is that again, you have repeated several times that you wanted to go for another name, Y/N. Everyone but Sekido seemed to respect that, but he only got irritated with you, but you just had to complain. Everything is so awful, and nobody tells him anything when he lashes out. That asshole thinks he is the only one having a bad time? You bet his problems are nothing compared to yours "Shut up, Sekido! Your voice is making me have a headache!" He makes an ugly face once you answer back, why is everyone else so coward? Only Aizetsu has the guts every once an eternity to tell the truths to this asshole's face. And even the, when he does he also seems keen in the idea of fighting you. That little-

"Hey! Hey! Calm down, everyone. We just defested some slayers, why don't we take a bite before Urogi beats us to it?" Karaku interrupts, always trying to make averything sound as if was pleasurable, as if it was something good. You genuinely want to throw up the secon you see the corpses on the ground with Urogi kneeling in front of one, munching so much of it that his cheeks as full and not even swollowing all of it before putting more into the cavity, showing the chewed flesh inside his mouth. "Urg. As if I would want to eat with such an animal." Aizetsu seems to only look at everyone else, gaze making you uncomfortable. "And what do you want." To that Aizetsu just looks away and goes where Urogi is, not even bothering to answer you. How rude! Sekido smiles as he sees the offense in your face.

You feel an arm around your shoulder, you see Karaku smiling, the smell and heat coming from his mouth not being pleasant, even if it's not the worst you have felt against you face. "Now, if you are not hungry, Y/N, we can always find something to have fun, ya know? If you can't see anything good, I can always teach you how to have a good ti-" You don't know what repulses you more, the indecent proposal or the stains of blood in your shouldet once Sekido stabs the pleasure clones in the mouth through the back of his head with his staff. "Stop whoring yourself! Have you no shame?!" A part of you wants to defend Karaku, another one sums just wanting to spite Sekido, but other part of you agrees with the anger clone of how disgusting the behavior of the pleasure clone is, seeking his respective sensation like an addict.

And there is the smaller part of you not only likes the attention, making you feel less disgusting with yourself, it also happens when slayers see you. Your emotion doesn't let you tell, but Aizetsu and Karaku have reassured you that you are good looking. But you could never give into such a nauseating touch, with dirty and uncomfortable hands, it's awful.

None of you can fight your respective emotions, even if sometimes you can feel other things. You yearn to be with the others, to be able to spend a good time (not in the way Karaku sometimes offers, but to actually spent good moments), you yearn to be satisfied and content, instead of having to rely in pride for some positiveness. You can't help to resent Urogi and Aizetsu the most, who manage to work through their emotions, the first one just uncaring as long as he is not hurt or caged, the second one managing to stay calm and be understanding. Both of them get along well, and you can see them talking and eating together. You want to complain, to take the off-putting sensations out of your head and chest, but there are never gone. The second everything seems fine, you find another thing that disgust you and center everything on it. (You have not stopped thinking that Sekido feels that same way in his anger.)

"Let's just go back, we don't need to be here and stay divided any longer. We are clearly just wasting time in here. I don't want to see any of you!" Urogi is the first to protest. "Huh? C'moooooon, Sekido, just one more hour! Pleeeeeease?" "You are not going to be able to convince him like that." Part of you wants to also protest, you don't want to be grouped with this freaks! And you just came out! What would be the point? "C'mon, Y/N, handsome. Help me convice Sekido to relax. There is no need to rush back." Part of you wants to explore, to get away, to move away... but another one knows that inside Hantengu's head you won't have to deal with all this disgust. "Go fuck yourself, Karaku."

#demon slayer #kny #upper moons #karaku #urogi #aizetsu #sekido #disgust clone #why when making a Hantengu clone OC everyone makes love and disgust?#I'm not saying it's wrong to do them #just that EVERYONE chooses love (lust in that) and disgust #u know what would be new? an apathy clone

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combines · 9 months ago

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are you srsly the person who coined butter pecan for freehoun... from what i read the fact you named it after a flavor you think is gross is so funny (as a fellow freemancer)

hello nice to meet you!!!! this is sooo funny dkfkko like my legacy lives on.....i don't even now how ppl found posts referencing butter pecan considering tumblr's search/tagging system is so shit but the half-life fandom was so much fun back then!!!! so many amazing/talented/funny people!! :') <3

tbh i can't remember exactly how it came about but i think i remember it being dubbed butter pecan bc "a lot of nuts"??? it being one of my least favorite ice cream flavors also sounds accurate LOL obviously, a lot of it was in jest, we were all just being super silly and literally made memes out of everything and anything. i say this now because since the 2020 hl resurgence i've caught wind of some side-eyeing me (and others) because i didn't actively ship freehoun based on posts from, at that point, nearly ten years ago. i don't know why it matters or why people care what i think. i was just having fun with my friends, and i don't know how those posts come across now but i never meant anything maliciously by them. i've reblogged/supported/liked freehoun content over the years alongside freemance stuff like it isn't that deep

the half life fandom discourse of 2020 seriously had people accusing those who shipped freemance of being groomers so i think me jokingly dunking on a ship in 2012 is very benign by most standards lol

thanks for your ask!!!! :)

#pixelpancake246 #a fellow moose tracks connoisseur......#freemance

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curdled-blood · 8 months ago

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Ur fav chars in general? (or comfort)

OOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

I'm so happy you asked anon !! Here's how I'm gonna do this. I'm just gonna name my favs and comforts from the fandoms I'm in + some honorable mentions :3 (no particular order btw)

First things first!!

Creepypasta !!

• Ok obviously Jeff the killer but tbh idk if he's my favorite per say, but he is DEFINITELY a source of comfort for me ever since I was like 10 😭 i even have an oc to ship eith him LOLL her name is Ashley King and tbh i should post abt her more i think yall would like her

• Idk why but I think my tippy top favorites gotta be the slender family. I just always been specifically obsessed with their aspects of the creepypasta... Ness. I've also become like super attached to my little versions of them eeehehehh. It fucking makes me mad that ppl r still attached to the gross version of Fen and won't MOVE THE FUCK ON FROM IT and get pissed when ppl make their own versions 😡

• LAUGHING JACK !!!!! HES SO SILLY AND DEVIOUS I LOVE HIM SM. I kinda go back and forth on sinking for him tbh, but this dude was a massive source of comfort to me in middle school

• Nurse Ann is my wife btw. We're literally married ong

• I always thought that Bloody Painter was pretty fucking neat and I liked how his story wasn't written like total DOG SHIT like most creepypastas. Tho I fucking hate his creator (BOOOO DOOODOOCAT U SUCK. SAME WITH LJ. BOOOOOOO 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻)

My little pony

• Dear God ok I don't have a single favorite mlp character because I love so many of them that if I started naming my favorites, I'd end up naming every character in the fucking show 😭

• "But Lie!! Isn't it Fluttershy? Your pfp is her!!" ok I rlly like Fluttershy but idk if she's my favorite tho lol.

• Ok yk what I might be lying cuz I rlly do end up fixating on my hcs for her and her relationship with Discord lmaoooo. I just.. I just loved vampire!fluttershy flutterbat so fucking muuuuuch and discord with a vampire wife?!!?!??! AAAAAAAAAH.

• But discord is definitely a fav lolz. I love how he's literally just Q from star trek LMFAOOOO

• For some reason, I really really really LOOOOOOVE Spitfire's design AND name. I just love her colors, hair, and the fact that her name is Spitfire like the plane AHDHWHJAJA

• I've always been a big fan of Celstia too. I love how she's basically royal God but has this huge silly side :3

One piece

• Buggy. Buggy. Buggy. Buggy was my first favorite, as soon as I saw him I fell the fuck in love with him

• Crocodile is also so whdhajdjwiak. I love villains sm. I love when they're just evil to be evil.

• I think my favorite straw hats r Luffy, Chopper, and Nami. Nami just like me fr. I too am a red head who likes to steal money

• Ok so. This one isnt a favorite but he's a huge source of comfort because i made a whole ass oc to ship with him... It's fucking Klahadore. I've been obsessed with him lately I'm shriveling andjwjakkskdjan

Powerpuff Girls

• one of my main comfort characters is fucking Ace Copular from fucking power puff girls. YEAH. THE FUCKING GREEN POINTY GUY. it makes me wanna crumple in a ball I low-key wish he wasn't but I l9vr him sm and i wanna hit him with a hammer/aff

• HIM. I LOVE HIM SM I SDORE HIM AHDHWHSBGAGDGAGR

anyways anon thx for asking and I'm so sorry I went the fuck off

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lotusarchon · 19 days ago

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Any lmk ships you don’t like?

Not counting the basic weird ships that I'm not fond of in LMK like plumsy/peachynoodles uhmm here's my list that I expect to get attacked for so I'm stating my reasons pls don't attack me again

1) dragonfruit - I tried liking it but the first fic i came across with it was r-pe and it...basically, I don't like the ship because that fic ruined it for me and I'm the type of person who judges shit based on stuff like that lmfao...and I'm sorry but Red Son forcing himself on Mei is..😟 n-no

2) chimera - Imma be honest I like to think all three of them are siblings and Red is the oldest tryna murder the youngest so it's not really my style (and I do personally headcanon them as aroace cause I'm aroace and any character I like gets aroace beamed)

3) goldendragon - same thing, I personally like to see them as siblings so I don't interact with content for them. I will say, the ship is very cute tho and I LOVE best friends to lovers, butttt like dragonfruit my introduction to this ship was a gross r-pe/porn fic and it gave me the ick so hard pass

4) shadowpeach - "macaque is so innocent wukong is so evil" and not "okay both have their own sides both are complicated characters" > aka fandom ruined the ship for me

5) idk the ship name but azure and macaque which is..no. I don't like it. Too weird. Or maybe I just wanna wrap my hands around Macaque's throat and [redacted]

6) any ship with macaque that isn't an oc/reader because tbh like OCs and Readers still make Macaque feel cool but if you pair him with a canon character he's suddenly a victim and like fuck that bro Macaque don't deserve no bitches (this is a joke don't attack me for this like what you like okay 😭😭😭 don't go telling me to die bc of this macaque fans)

Uhhh I have no idea if there's any more ships in LMK tbh because the fandom is not so nice to me and I try to just ignore it and pretend it's just me and my nice circle of friends/followers. If there are though, that's cool. I know there's rarepair ships and allat and that's cool, they're absolutely adorable to see. Just not really my cup of tea, so again please don't attack me especially with the Macaque bit I was joking alright 😭 don't kill me pls

#ㅤㅤㅤໂ♥︎̼̻𓈒ིུ𖥨᩠ׄ݁ field of flowers 🌸#anon #as you can see i am very terrified of this fandom #please for the love of god macaque simps #do not attack me #esp shadowpeach lovers don't attack me

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ghostwnby · 10 months ago

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Ghostwnby's intro post!

Hello everyone! I thought it was about time I wrote a little intro post for this blog. So with that being said, hello! Welcome to my blog!

Some quick facts about me:

- 19

- I'm American

- I use any/all pronouns

- I identify as queer <3

- I am currently hyperfixated on f1 (my fav teams are Redbull [excluding Christian Horner], Mercedes, Aston Martin) but I do love hockey (my fav teams are Boston Bruins, New York Rangers, Pittsburgh Penguins, and Chicago Blackhawks) as well :)

Talking about f1, my top 5 favorite drivers are:

1. Esteban Ocon

2. Daniel Riccardo

3. Sebastian Vettel (+ Lewis Hamilton they are a bonded pair they come as a duo i dont make the rules 💀)

4. Max Verstappen

5. Fernando Alonso

♡♡♡

I really like the rest of the current grid (especially Lance <33) but if I had to share my "bottom" three it would be:

1. George Russell - I'm sorry but something about this man's vibes are extremely off to me and he lowkey scares me 😭😭

2. Pierre Gasly - Same reason as George. He's not as bad but still his vibe is just not it for me 💀

3. Sergio "Checo" Pérez - I'm sorry to all the Checo fans out there but I absolutely hate this man so much. Even before I started watch DTS I hated him. He gives me creepy gross man vibes. I hate it.

♡♡♡

Even though I haven't posted anything in YEARS, I have been getting back into writing fics again.

So with that being said, here is a list I am (or will) write for:

- Sewis

- Maxiel

- Strollonso

- Landoscar

- Charlos

- Yukierre

- George Russell + Alex Albon (idk their ship name??)

- Esteban + Lance (again idk their ship name)

And ones I won't write for:

- lestappen (don't kill me)

- Max/Checo (or any dealing with Checo tbh)

- Carlando (don't kill me 2.0 yall are scary)

- Lando/Daniel

- Charles/Pierre

♡♡♡

Also, my request box is open! I would love to answer any questions/requests you all might have for me 🤭

But before that I want to set a few ground rules.

Here is what I am WILLING to write:

- imagines/oneshots (involving the drivers/ships I listed before)

- fluff

- angst**

- smut**

- Maybe x reader??

**There are limitations to what I am willing to write. (No heavy angst aka any triggering/heavy topics And I will list the restrictions on smut below)

With that being said here is what I'm NOT willing write:

- Anything dealing with the drivers/ships listed earlier

- Again any heavy/triggering topics

- Any type of age play

- Anything that deals with extreme k!nks

- Piss (or anything along that matter)

- Anything problematic (I've seen some insane tags for fics smh)

♡♡♡

I think that's all for now! If I think of anything else or I have any big updates I will definitely update this! Thank you all for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day/night 🥰💕

#intro post #formula 1 #ferrari #red bull f1 #mercedes #mclaren #renault #stake f1 team #haas f1 team #bwt alpine f1 team #visa cashapp racing bulls #williams f1 #ghostwnby

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numbknee · 2 years ago

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Enough of the suffering thru the asks abt all the other cartman ships, what abt your brain rot? 🥺 what *are* your thoughts on kyman?? Go ham dude

ooooh dear... where to begin with the kyman brainrot....... I guess I’ll start at the beginning. VERY LONG POST under the cut. this is basically my kyman meta magnum opus lmao

I’ve talked about this ad nauseam before, but I really, REALLY didn’t want to get into south park. I had only ever watched like 2 full episodes before 2021 and I simply did not understand the appeal. I just thought the draw to the show was the shock factors: gross-out humor, children swearing and committing violence, and blatant bigotry played for laughs. I didn’t understand how it could be so popular other than “well I guess there are lots of horrible people out there who like this horrible show.”

I grew up in a very WASP-y town and had peers in elementary/middle school who learned about the existence of antisemitism and other bigotries through south park. because kids are stupid and don’t understand satire, many of them took it at face value and were able to have shittons of words added to their vocabulary to put people down and insult them. it was horrible tbh. and I hated the show for that, even as a young kid. I personally wasn’t perfect by any means but even as a snot-nosed, extremely sheltered little white girl I knew that you just shouldn’t do that shit. our school system in particular lauded the “golden rule” constantly (we had to do a school-specific pledge after the pledge of allegiance every day... yeah I know, very american) and I was like “cmon, you guys can’t even follow that ONE RULE to be a semi-decent human being?? really??”

anyway at the end of 2021, my younger brother asked me to watch the post-covid specials with him and he was very excited about it. I was immediately hesitant, especially because in recent years he has become alarmingly incel-y and took a hard turn to the right while I became a leftist. I reluctantly agreed to sit through it to try to understand him more because, even though his political ideology sucks ass, he’s still my brother and I do love him.

so I watched the specials, and I came out the other side of it shell-shocked with how surprisingly good the writing was. THIS stupid show, the show that all this time I thought was bottom-of-the-barrel comedy, was... GOOD??? particularly regarding CARTMAN??

the only things I knew about cartman going into it were the following: he’s fat, he says the name “kyle” weird, and he’s a horrible antisemite. and they made him grow up to be a freaking RABBI. it completely caught me off guard and *gasp* actually made me laugh???? what????

there were plenty of other things I loved about the post-covid specials, like my depressed ass relating WAAAY too hard with stan, the extremely on-the-nose satire of the state of advertisement/capitalism with the stupid “denny’s applebee’s max” restaurant chain gag and all the old people being shoved into a giant prison retirement home once they aren’t productive anymore, kenny getting sick of the gang’s bullshit and writing “FUCK THESE HOES” on a beloved childhood photo, butters become a snake-oil salesman for NFTs, kyle being told to “think like a kid” and like 2 seconds later realizing they need to look up kenny’s ass. I could go on but you get the point.

I liked it way more than I thought I ever would. and obviously, I often find south park funny for different reasons than my brother does because matt & trey are very good at toeing the line of appealing to both sides of the american political spectrum, but it’s become a point of bonding between us in the year since I started watching the show and I’m grateful for that.

of course, since i’m terminally on tumblr and ao3, I also started to dive into the fandom of south park. I had heard about the whole creek thing years ago and waved it off as a stupid gag but then I realized wait, holy shit, there’s actually a GIGANTIC shipping culture around south park??? at first I got into style because of the interesting concept of post-covid kyle and stan reconnecting after decades apart and not being the same people they used to be but trying to make it work anyway (I even wrote a fic about it ahahaa...)

but after a while I got tired of the ship because as I watched the rest of the show, I realized their relationship just wasn’t as interesting as I thought it would be. like they’re best friends but... why? because they’ve known each other forever? they both like video games? they make fun of cartman together? the fact they’re “super-best-friends” is kind of taken for granted by the show and the audience, but imo matt and trey never really explore the intricacies of their relationship very much. y’all can disagree with me on this but idk, all I know is that I got bored with style as a ship after like 2 months.

while scrolling through ao3 and tumblr, I ran across kyman fics/fanart for the first time back in february or so. at first I was appalled because... why the everloving fuck would you ship the blatant antisemite with the jewish kid??? really???? isn’t style a much better choice??? but sheer curiosity got the better of me, so I did what I always do when I’m curious about a ship: select for fics with kyle broflovski/eric cartman, sort by kudos, and read the first result (or in this case the second because the first had creek as the main ship). y’all know which fic that is if you’ve even slightly gotten into kyman. it was interesting, but I personally didn’t see them as the actual characters from the show in that fic. they were fandom versions of kyle and cartman, with their personalities changed enough to fit the standard mlm shipping dynamic that’s popular in fandom spaces (particularly regarding dom/sub aspects). I’ve seen it happen in plenty of other fandoms so I wasn’t surprised, but I still couldn’t see how it could possibly work if one were to use their canon character depictions.

all the while I was making my way through episodes of the show cuz it’s long af, and over time I became more and more intrigued with kyle and cartman’s relationship. cartman quickly became my favorite character in the show because of how fucking complex and layered his personality is (see my tags on this post), and though kyle despises cartman in countless ways, he still is the only one who consistently tries to find goodness in him, tries to make him change for the better, saves him when no one else will, and remains his friend despite everything. it’s a remarkably complex dynamic.

little hints of kyman started creeping up on me: cartman being frequently queer-coded as a closeted gay kid. kyle getting extremely jealous of cartman and heidi’s relationship. both of them on separate occasions saving the other from death or injury without wanting any credit for it or lording it over each other. “we've been through a lot together, and... maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but it makes us something”

needless to say, I started to get it. and then I encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back: “know your enemy” by elsen on ao3. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’ve read that fic probably over a dozen times. it was shockingly well-written and so in-tune with the style and tone of the show that I was like “is this person spirit-channelling trey parker or something wtf???” and all of a sudden, I could see how, in a different universe, kyman could actually be an endgame ship.

what sold me on it the most was how in-character it seemed for cartman to be a repressed, denial-ridden sub, especially regarding his desired relationship with kyle. there’s plenty of canon evidence that cartman has a secret crush on kyle (see this vid by johnny 2 cellos), but there’s no way that kyle could reciprocate those feelings, right?? imo kyle would probably rather die than enter a romantic relationship with cartman where he had to submit to him all the time, but if cartman would want kyle to be dominant over him??? where kyle has control and is able to curb cartman’s problematic behavior as he sees fit??? that opens up a whole other door of possibilities.

I think what kyle wants more than anything else in the world regarding cartman is for the goodness he sees deep down inside him to come to the surface, and for kyle to be the one to guide him (or force him when necessary) to becoming a better person through love and patience and inherent understanding of his fucked up little head??? I can definitely see kyle wanting that (especially since I see kyle as a repressed, denial-ridden sadist/dom lmao; see this post for my thoughts on that).

it was all downhill from there. I found tons of other cool kyman shippers on tumblr and twitter whose writing and fanart helped suck me in even more and I’ve been stuck in kyman hell ever since. special shoutout to the asker for her kyman analysis posts that inspired this fic I wrote! love u boo <3

ANYWAY that’s how I became a whore for kyman lolololol ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ have a nice day everybody

#if you read this whole thing i love u #i hope to god no one i know irl finds this blog 🙃🙃🙃#this also doubles as a personal fandom history for myself lol #kyman #ask #my post

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lunathegalacticwolf · 10 months ago

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Fanchild of Fuzzle and Iveri because I said so. Their ship name is officially ScaredyCatz.

Feel free to ship them if you want. As long as there's no gross stuff, me and @spookykittyzzz are both okay with it.

This is NOT canon. I'm 90% sure they're not even the same species. Iveri is a cat, and I'm not sure what Fuzzle is, but I don't think she's a cat.

This might turn into a Sillypaint situation tbh. I wouldn't be surprised, lol.

Fuzzle belongs to @spookykittyzzz

Fanchild and Iveri belong to me

#tadc #tadc fuzzle #tadc iveri #iveri x fuzzle #fuzzle x iveri #scaredycatz

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dual-fantasy · 10 months ago

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made a full circle to gen1posting..... i love duncan with my heart and soul but in a way nobody else does. hes awful and he sucks but thats what makes me like him. he dated mal in juvie. him and trent were a thing for like . a week . maybe less then a week . him and alejandro have dated and broken up within the same day at least 8 times. he is actually the boyfailure ever. i think after all stars he left courtney alone to go pursue guys. they left it on a good note they apologized to each other. eventually. he never actually settles down with anyone . at least for a while . the list of people hes dated for less then a week is Expansive . something ive seen Absolutely nobody considering is duncan and justin(dustin ?????) they are so real to me. they do not like each other actually they hate each other but in an absolutely romantic way. they walked so scike could run. i appreciate a lot of duncan ships actually. dunhar is up there with dustin(??) but slightly below it cause of the fandoms interpretation of them. harold is taller then duncan take that information in stride. they are so real to me though they play videogames together they are the gross not at all romantic relationship i need. one i have seen literally NOBODY ever talk about is duncan and owen they are so real. and pretty healthy considering it includes duncan. ..dowen ???? SWEEP!!!!! idk i think people just need to slap duncan and random men together until something sticks more. hes insanely shippable in a surprising way. ive been forgetting to sign off ghhh. GRAVE DOG OUT!!!!!!!

REAL YEAH. I never really cared for Duncan first watch but when I really thought about it he's one of the most entertaining characters. he's literally the worst ever. his entire family is police and he still downright refuses to follow the law. everyone exaggerates how terrible he is. he's literally just a bitch he isn't any worse than anyone else. he keeps a list (habit he picked up from Courtney) of people he dates for less than a week. it is genuinely a mile long. Alejandro is on the list at least 40 times, every single man is listed multiple times.

also Dustin is real as fuck. like genuinely you're such a genius. personally I'm a fan of djuncan because they drive me insane but Dustin is sooo good. also it has a really good ship name. all of his ships are pretty good tbh. you're such a genius and so real

#dw about not signing off btw its all g #total drama #td duncan #td #tdi #total drama island

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stitching-in-time · 3 months ago

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Voyager rewatch s4 ep20: Vis a Vis

The only thing I remembered from this episode was Tom's garage holoprogram with the vintage car, and I feel like that's probably my brain protecting me by blocking out everything that sucked in this episode. This ep was so stupid, and not in a good way.

(Content warning for discussion of sexual assault beneath the cut, yet again! Was it 'disrespect female characters month' on the show or something??)

Every character on Voyager got at least one really good episode to themselves, except for Tom. For some reason all of his were awful, and I don't know why. He's a great character, he'd had a strong character arc throughout the show, he was always quietly wonderful in the background of other characters stories, but then they seemed to go blank whenever they tried to make an episode about him, and we're left with crap like this.

I don't recognize the name of the writer, so I'm guessing it was a script submitted by someone who hadn't seen the show since season one, when they were trying so hard (and failing spectacularly) to make Tom a bad boy. The Tom Paris we see in this ep is not the guy we've gotten to know over the last four years- instead of a self sacrificing, eager to help out goober who's ride or die for everyone on that ship, we have a selfish, rude, obnoxious jerk- and that's before the alien body-swapping even starts! I honestly thought the alien had already stolen his body during that scene in the mess hall where he freaks out and gets paranoid and yells at B'Elanna for no reason- what the hell was that?? Where did this weird random 'Tom is suddenly unhappy on Voyager out of the blue, for no reason' stuff come from?? We already did that way back in season 2- and that was fake. By that point, Tom was already 100% commited to Voyager, and only pretended to not be for the sake of a mission. The last time Tom actually got defensive and snappy toward people he loved, it was because he was distraught to be reminded of his life before Voyager, because he's so much happier there than anywhere else. To just ignore that a few episodes later makes no sense. Tom literally has everything he ever wanted for the first time in his life- he's doing his dream job, surrounded by people who love him and believe in him, he has the hottest girlfriend in the galaxy, and he's far away from his dad and Starfleet and all the mistakes of his past that almost ruined his life, and yet we're supposed to believe that he's somehow bored and dissatisfied and wants something better?? Than his life on Voyager?? Like what?? How could anyone on Voyager be starved for excitement when they deal with constant life and death situations every other day?? (Probably too much excitement for most of the crew's comfort tbh.) Feels like some real toxic masculinity to assume that any man who's finally settled in life must actually feel pinned down and constrained by having responsibilties to other people.

I'm supposing they did the whole 'Tom is unhappy here' storyline so he could learn a little 'there's no place like home' lesson at the end. But if that's the story you want to tell, why pick a character who's happy where he is, and already knows that?? If you have to totally twist a character around to fit them into the mold you want, just so they have to do something to get back to the point they were already at- that's bad writing, plain and simple. Pick another character that you don't have to twist around for it, or do a different story.

There wasn't anything clever or insightful, or even funny in this one. It just doesn't work. They didn't even use the body swapping as a device to explore another theme, it was just a straight-up body snatcher trope with no new twist or new insight. It just ended up feeling gross to watch, because the audience knows it isn't really Tom, it's a bad guy with bad intentions, and so we're just watching a bad guy lie to and manipulate characters we love the whole time, and it's extremely unpleasant. Especially with B'Elanna, there was just no way she wouldn't have seen through him, and even if she didn't, she wouldn't have tolerated that behavior from Tom either. She'd have thrown him out of her quarters after that bullshit in the mess hall, she'd never have been moved by the imposter's lame ass attempt at an apology, and she would have punched him in the nose after grabbing her in the transporter room scene. That scene makes me so angry I want to scream. You honestly think B'Elanna fucking Torres is gonna tolerate any man raising a hand to her?? Really?! She knows how to fight, she's not gonna sit there like a passive victim, she'd be angry and fight back. And she'd tell the Captain, because that clearly isn't Tom, and even if it was, assaulting a fellow officer is very much not allowed in Starfleet, and he should absolutely be disciplined for it. Making B'Elanna into some passive victim in this story just makes my blood boil. I'm not even Klingon, and I'm ready to punch a guy in the nose over all this, so just imagine what B'Elanna would do!

Compare this episode to the Next Generation episode 'Allegiance', and you can immediately see the inferiority of this one. The body swapping there was just one element in a larger story, and they didn't reveal to us who the imposter was or what they wanted til the end, so it built dramatic tension as the crew realized what was going on. The way they did it here, with everyone saying to Tom "what's going on with you?? You're not acting like yourself!" BEFORE getting body swapped, and then totally believing in the imposter version, is just like. what?? It makes no sense! (Why did they even accept such a weak script in the first place? I don't know!) Screwing over Tom by making him suddenly act like an asshole for no reason, and screwing over all the other characters by making them so stupid that they can't even figure out it's not really him just doesn't make for great television. (Like B'Elanna wouldn't figure out she was being kissed by a totally different person?? Really?? And it was extremely creepy that it fades out to a different scene after that- please don't leave room to imply that B'Elanna could have gotten raped by the imposter. Especially with his creepy 'give my regards to B'Elanna' line to Tom later on, it just gives off really gross implications, and it's so fucking misogynist to use a female character as a prop for male characters to use or fight over, as though what actually happens to women is somehow less important than how men feel about it. I personally believe that it couldn't have happened, because for one thing, there's absolutely no way in hell B'Elanna wouldn't have figured out it wasn't Tom in that situation, but I hate that they put the ambiguity in there at all.)

And why wouldn't B'Elanna be just as interested in helping repair the alien guy's engines as Tom? Um, hello?! She's an engineer!!! She would jump at the chance to tinker around with a new type of warp engine! Just as much, if not more, than Tom would! These two both love ships so much, they should be bonding over that! What is this weird treatment of Tom & B'Elanna's relationship as though 20th century gender roles still exist?? The whole point of Star Trek is to break down those sterotypes, yet we've still got the show acting like 'oh of course girlfriends don't understand about guy things like fixing enigines!' REALLY?! When said girlfriend is literally A FREAKING ENGINEER!?! WHEN HER ENTIRE JOB IS FIXING ENGINES?!? I just can't with the depths of dude-bro-y-ness in Star Trek writers rooms sometimes!!

It was kind of fun when Janeway was body swapped and got to be evil for a scene, and I really think they missed an opportunity in not writing the bodyswap story for Janeway, since Kate plays it so deliciously. (Of course, they missed an opportunity by not writing a good story in general here, so whatever.)

And then, when they finally catch the imposter, they handwave away the ending with a captain's log saying 'The Doctor found a way to return everyone to their bodies'. How?! That's kind of a big deal! But everything else in this episode points to this guy just being a bad writer, so I guess we shouldn't expect anything from him. There's just so many plotholes and inconsistencies everywhere- if imposter guy (Steth? I think that was his name?) literally steals people's bodies, like physically swaps minds with them, then why was he reverting back to his previous host bodies form?? If he can't permanently take their forms, that would seem to imply he isn't actually stealing their bodies, but mimicking them somehow. And if he can't maintain his stolen forms indefinitely, how come the people he swapped with don't revert back to their original bodies after a certain amount of time too?? It just doesn't make any sense. (Also, how did fake Tom get into B'Elanna's quarters?? Real Tom might know the security code to her door, but this guy sure doesn't- and if he broke in, how would security not be alerted?? Plot holes, plot holes everywhere!)

All of this is so egregiously bad that I can't even enjoy the final scene, which actually would have been adorable if it had capped off a less terrible episode. Tom invites B'Elanna to his garage holoprogram and apologizes for spending more time there than with her, and they make out in the car. Which is cute if they had had a little tiff, but considering he'd yelled at her for no reason, and then she'd been just about assaulted by someone who she thought was him at the time, I just don't feel like this is an appropriate way to address the shit she'd been put through. This script treats B'Elanna like a prop with no feelings, makes Tom out to be an asshole, screws over both characters, fucks up their whole relationship, then glosses over it like it was no big deal. It makes me so damn angry. I need brain bleach to forget this whole episode exists again.

Tl;dr: A story that uses the body-swap trope in an almost voyeuristic way that's extremely unpleasant to watch. It messes with established characterization to the point that Tom seems like he's already been taken over by an alien before it even happens. Just plain bad all around.

#star trek: voyager #voyager rewatch #rewatching star trek #star trek voyager #star trek

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sohemotional · 7 months ago

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For the ask game: 💛 💚 💜

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

Tbh... unpopular take but most of the popular ships in Glee don't appeal to me. I don't like P*zberry, Qu*nntana, F*berry, P*ckurt, P*ckleberry and H*vans. I won't get into all of it but one of them I just never understood is Kl/aine. Just never got it, even after five seasons I still don't get it, doesn't do anything for me at all.

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

Brittany. I noticed that Santana and Quinn basically get all the love in terms of their appearance whereas Brittany gets way more haters calling her ugly or just flat out ignoring her or just being the one who's forgotten about when people talk about attractive Glee girls. She's incredibly underrated. Her performances in the first Britney episode were so sexy and so was Run The World, to name a few examples but she gets so slept on because people prefer the other two. She usually gets the least amount of edits and fanart out of the Unholy Trinity (and maybe even most of the other girls?) sadly.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Oh man... be prepared for a lot of unpopular takes. I wouldn't know where to start with what fandom get wrong about Brittany. Although tbh almost all the Glee characters get mischaracterized by fandom, so she's far from the only one. Based on the headcanons/art/fics I've seen, one thing I noticed is that Brittany gets taken to extremes in their portrayal of her.

There seems to be this constant need in fandom to prove that Brittany isn't stupid at all. Whereas, imo there's nothing wrong with her being stupid. I don't see it as a bad thing. She is smart in certain ways, like emotional intelligence. She's also not very smart at all in other ways. Her being stupid doesn't mean she has no worth or that she doesn't deserve love. It doesn't mean she can't be a good character.

She often gets written as this superwoman/independent woman who somehow is the best scientist/chef/doctor to ever exist with a million talents. She's too perfect. I feel like some fans do this to overcompensate for how she was passive/not super successful in conventional ways and not intellectual in the series. It just makes her way less appealing to me when she's portrayed like that.

She also sometimes gets portrayed in the reverse where she's completely childlike/incapable and helpless in every single way - worse than she ever was in canon even - with no edge or agency either which also is not really her.

Her traits like her quirky side that make her unique get washed out and she becomes what my friends and I refer to as the "Wattpad y/n girl" or the generic girl that's totally bland instead of having her Brittany-isms.

One thing I absolutely hate personally is the obsession with portraying Britt as this super dominant controlling top, or this masculine woman who pushes Santana around. It's just not her and it's gross to warp their dynamic into that imo. I see no appeal.

Another thing I noticed that bothers me is that fics often remove Brittany's sex appeal and femininity entirely for some reason. I often feel it's because they dislike the character or they just don't care about her at all.

I noticed on this site especially Brittany also gets demonized and portrayed like if she's some evil borderline sociopath who only cares about Santana and her cat. It's so weird to me, especially when it's fans of some of the biggest bullies on the show of all people who say they can't support Brittany because she's a "bully." Yeah, Brittany has a mean catty side and she dislikes a lot of people but she's not some extreme bully and no worse than most others on the show.

I noticed that people like to switch Brittana around and try to push Brittany's personality traits on Santana/vice versa for some reason.

For example, they are desperate for Santana to be the more cheerful bubbly one who loves all the New Directions and is super creative while Brittany gets pushed in the background and portrayed as the cold one who doesn't care about any of them except Santana. Which is closer to the reverse of how it is in canon. Brittany was the softer, more creative one of the two and they want Santana to be that instead. Or they portray Brittany as this jealous insecure girl with Santana who gets all heated in her jealousy (that is so unlike Britt - that's Santana). Brittany was rarely ever insecure or jealous at all.

Or alternatively, one thing that's annoying as hell is they want Brittany to constantly act as the protector for Santana who goes after people who they think wronged her, when in reality in canon it was almost always Santana who was actively protecting Britt. Brittany rarely ever went after someone who she felt hurt Santana or attacked them. I think her standing up to Alma Lopez and Artie when they were harsh about Santana were two of the only times but she never just ran after Santana's enemies and physically or verbally attacked them.

I also get annoyed by fandom acting like Britt had no agency at all in her romances. For instance, people seriously still act like Santana practically forced her to have sex with her in S2 or they act like Santana ruined Bram and forced Britt to break up with him. Which ??? that is so off. If you really think Brittany didn't know what she was doing was cheating on Artie in S2 or that she didn't want to have sex with Santana, idk what to tell you.

Another thing about the fan reaction to Britt that's way off is how so many people still say things like "Brittana was one-sided because Santana loved her more" or they act like Brittany ruined their relationship more or Santana was more committed/loyal to Britt than vice versa. I won't even get into that here but it is so untrue in canon.

#Brittany S. Pierce #Brittany Pierce #anti-Klaine #thanks for your ask #Glee #glee unpopular opinions

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