#what a good song to sing and listen to when someone cheats on you

[caracolcondiarrea]

Eliza could just have said "your actions really hurted me" and called it a day, but she decided to say ( while burning all of Hamilton´s letters to Eliza):

"I saved every letter you wrote me From the moment I read them I knew you were mine You said you were mine I thought you were mine

Do you know what Angelica said When we saw your first letter arrive? She said Be careful with that one, love He will do what it takes to survive

You and your words flooded my senses Your sentences left me defenseless You built me palaces out of paragraphs You built cathedrals I’m re-reading the letters you wrote me I’m searching and scanning for answers In every line For some kind of sign And when you were mine The world seemed to

Burn Burn

You published the letters she wrote you You told the whole world how you brought This girl into our bed In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives Do you know what Angelica said When she read what you’d done? She said You have married an Icarus He has flown too close to the sun

You and your words, obsessed with your legacy Your sentences border on senseless And you are paranoid in every paragraph How they perceive you

You, you, you

I’m erasing myself from the narrative Let future historians wonder how Eliza Reacted when you broke her heart You have torn it all apart I am watching it Burn Watching it burn The world has no right to my heart The world has no place in our bed They don’t get to know what I said I’m burning the memories Burning the letters that might have redeemed you You forfeit all rights to my heart You forfeit the place in our bed You sleep in your office instead With only the memories Of when you were mine I hope that you burn"

[targaryenluvs]

OUR LITTLE DOVE

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

warnings: crazy lucy n corio conspiring like evil doers, manipulation, chasing, primal play?? is that what is called idk corio enjoys hunting your ass down, kidnapping, drugging, forced into accepting a third partner?? nc touching, abuse of power (peacekeeper), power dynamics, kinda cheating (lucy n corio), guilt-trip, jealousy, threatening, self doubt and relationship problems, murder, betrayal

word count: 3.0k

a/n: lol i complain about wanting to write fluff but all my good ideas r so dark 😭 someone needs to give me tips on how to write girls cuz i have no experience would be easier if i was gay boooo!!

he was like a shadow, stuck to your back, always.

you’d complained to lucy numerous times that you didn’t feel comfortable around him when she played at the hob, knowing he’d be there, in the crowd. “sweetie, he was my mentor. he helped me so much in the games, i wouldn’t be here without him. you love me don’t you? so you need to learn to love him too, he’s a good friend a mine. i love you and i gotta get to the stage baby.” she explained as she ran around getting herself and the covey ready.

you were always front row. wanting to be as close to lucy as possible. she looked especially majestic tonight with flowers in her hair. as you listened to her sing you’d managed to forget about the certain blonde peacekeeper near the back. but he hadn’t forgotten about you, nor lucy.

you’d left to get a drink and you’d came back to an unfamiliar tune. you usually knew every song being played off by heart but this was new.

Everyone's born as clean as a whistle

As fresh as a daisy

And not a bit crazy

Staying that way's a hard row for hoeing

she sounded as angelic as usual and the crowd around you seemed entranced.

As rough as a briar

Like walking through fire

This world, it's dark

This world, it's scary

lucy smiled at you once, just once. which threw you off since you usually got a bunch. especially during new songs and songs about you. was this not also about you?

I've taken some hits, so

No wonder I'm wary It's why

I need you

so it is about me! you thought as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sway to the music and singing. you’d hoped you wouldn’t miss a smile headed your way.

You're as pure as the driven snow

your eyes flew open as you stared at lucy, she was looking past you and to the peacekeeper. to coriolanus snow. you’d always been a rational person, you prided yourself on restraint but that restraint was hanging on by a thread. you wanted to jam a beer bottle into his neck. lucy was your girlfriend not his. and yet he smiled stupidly towards her as she sang and you could feel your heart clawing its way up. best to leave now rather than stay and hear more of the ever so driven man.

your head was spinning as you slumped to the floor, in one of your finest dresses yet worst mental states. of course, something had formed between the two. she was in the goddamn hunger games and he was her mentor. trauma bonding? he quite literally saved her life, coached her and you did what? sat at home and hoped.

hope could only get you so far.

your hope and faith in lucy gray baird was dwindling as her lyrics swirled in your head. of course she loved him. who wouldn’t? the man was undeniably eye catching. a capitol man. but you’d always imagined lucy staying away from the capitol, despising them. but maybe it wasn’t the captiol part but the man part. maybe she wanted a true life, a home, marriage and children and everything she could wish for.

what on earth could you provide her with?

“y/n?” it sure as hell wasn’t lucy calling out for you and you knew that. coriolanus’s reflection was prominent in the puddle before you as he neared. great, you sneered, would love to get to know you mr peacekeeper. please tell me how you stole my lovely girlfriend from me!

your chest felt oh so heavy as you heard his footsteps in the gravel, determined and unwavering as he made his way to your slumped body. “what do you want? you wanna gloat?” coriolanus stopped in his tracks, gloat? “why would i gloat?” you looked up at him annoyed, “rub it in my face. you practically stole my girlfriend from me.” coriolanus laughed. actually laughed and it made you want to strangle him with his stupid dog tags.

“sweetheart.” vomit. you wanted to vomit. maybe choking and dying on your vomit would be less embarrassing then this. why on earth was this fuck head calling you his sweetheart. “fuck off.”

you didn’t see him coming. and you certainly didn’t expect his demeanour to snap. but the large hand tangled in your open hair was a big slap in the face to your unreadiness. “you of all people don’t get to talk to me like that. do you know who you’re talking to?” you could hear his perfect porcelain teeth grinding at your words. god this man couldn’t handle an insult. wuss.

“what the hell is your- ow! problem!” you yelped as he dragged you into an alleyway. “you need to learn how to respect your superiors. if you’re nice to me, i can make your life easier. doesn’t it hurt? not being able to fully provide for your family? seeing them struggle? do you really think disrespecting a peacekeeper is going to help? i suggest you straighten your act and thank me for even looking your way. there are plenty of other girls here.”

but he didn’t want those other girls. he wanted you. you with the teary eyes and messy hair. you who he’d been seeing in his dreams and during the day. you with the kind smile and curious eyes. you who were so sweet and pretty but mean when need be. the y/n who was stupid enough to spit such hateful words at a peacekeeper. but he’d teach you. whether it be with words and lessons or actions and bruises. you’d learn your place, by his side and lucy’s, and underneath. but with such fearful, brown doe eyes watering up infront of him, the girl he’d heard oh so much about from lucy. how could he refrain from indulging?

his hand reached out to wipe away the few stray tears that fell as his left extended towards your right, which was clutching your head, where he’d grabbed you. “shh, let me help you.” your hand slowly retracted as your heart ran a marathon. the man was obviously unstable, going from a deceptively caring man to violent. coriolanus smiled at your actions, and it freaked you out. he caressed your scalp in an attempt to soothe, “good girl.” he cooed as your apparent saviour approached.

“sweetie?” lucy called out to you as coriolanus withdrew from your personal space. he walked over to her and she let him. he held her hand and spoke with, love? his voice was soft and comforting, his thumb again caressing the back of her hand as they talked, whispered, plotted? god knows, all you wanted was to leave.

was this your chance?

you tested the waters, slow and calculated movements as lucy nodded in agreement with him. but by the time they were done speaking you’d bolted.

but you sure as hell weren’t getting far with these two on your tail, poor y/n l/n. a little dove trying to spread her wings but they were bound to be clipped.

your feet were throbbing and begging for you to slow down. but your brain was in charge for once, your heart which yearned for your dear songbird pushed to the side as your head screamed and urged you to go. she was in league with him apparently. her seeing him corner you and not even batting an eyelash. did she truly care for you so little? did she want to rid herself of you? she could’ve broken up with you and let that be it. maybe the games had twisted her head.

even as you believed yourself to be gaining distance from the two you could hear the not-so distant steps of determined pursuit, headed your way. how would they kill you? slow and intimate? hasty and brutal?

“if you stop running now we won’t be mad little dove!” lucy shouted in warning as you felt yourself momentarily slow at her words. traitor. you thought to yourself as your body involuntary listened, she still had an affect on you. “she’s right, we love you, we won’t hurt you. unless we have to, don’t give us our reasons.”

“shut up!” you screamed. god, i know we haven’t talked in a while. last minute efforts right? maybe he’d listen to you, save you from your tormentors. you should’ve kept your head clear, focused on running. focused on your surroundings and if you had, you would’ve noticed the nearing tree roots, thick and protruding from the ground, ready to knock you down.

you crawled behind the tree, trying to catch your breath as your hands worked tirelessly to provide some form of relief to your aching ankle.

crack.

you’d been found. you fucked up.

“our little dove, ever the sprinter.”

his words had you lurching forwards in an attempt of fleeing but lucy’s cold hand on your ankle dragged protests and cries from your throat as well as you, back to them. “you should’ve listened before, we would’ve been nice. given you some time to adjust, but you can’t sit and think for a second can you?” coriolanus mocked as his hand trailed up your un-injured leg, “that’s okay, you won’t be doing much thinking from now on. we’ll be taking care of you, since you obviously can’t take care a’ yourself baby.” lucy’s voice was saccharine, like honey, and her smile was even sweeter. the familiarity and comfort of her presence was intoxicating, you felt at peace on one side and the other wanted to jump off a cliff. she lowered your guard and coriolanus slithered right in.

the prick in the side of your neck wasn’t painful, but their words were. “you’re with us now, we’ll take care of you, we promise.” and you were stuck, stuck with them for god knows how long.

you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, adjusting to the room. maybe they had killed you? in their own twisted way they’d keep you forever, in their memories and soul. coriolanus and lucy’s voices swam around your head and blended together. you were wrong. yay.

“it’s a bit early for katniss, even if it’s one of her favourites.”

“she should eat something better.”

“better? don’t go all capitol on me now corio.”

he was smiling, you could tell.

“never lucy gray. but she’ll be weak for a few days, proper meals will help her regain some strength.”

you picked your head up and looked through the window, the lake was evident.

“alright, you go grab it and i’ll stay here.”

“why? so you can get more time with her? if anyone should get extra time it’s me.”

“now who was her partner first? oh that’s right, me. you’re acting as if i’m gonna pick her up and run away. if you’re that scared than we’ll both go. take her with us.”

coriolanus’s head whipped towards the cabin and you quickly flopped back down on the bed. you shut your eyes as you heard the door creak open. “gosh, doesn’t she look pretty?” lucy asked, knowing the answer already. “so calm, i liked her better when she was crying.” lucy hit him, “coriolanus snow!” he stroked the side of your face and you had to resist from turning your head and biting his fingers off.

“little dove.” your eyes opened again, turning your head his way tiredly. “we need to get some supplies okay?” you nodded as lucy went outside to gather the baskets she’d left out earlier on to dry. coriolanus’s hand dug into your cheeks as he forced you to look at him, “i told you i’d make you respect me. now listen, if you try anything when we’re in town i will never let you forget it. you’ll know who you belong to every single day. maybe i’ll pay your family a visit? an appointment with the hanging tree for being rebels? stealing?”

you shook your head violently as you began to cry, “you don’t want that? didn’t think so. you listen to me and everything will be fine. your family will get daily help and weekly groceries. they’ll never go hungry again. all thanks to their sweet little girl. lucy’s too nice, but don’t think for a second she’ll save you from me. you’re mine and if you try anything.” he leaned in to whisper, “i’ll strangle her with my bare hands infront of you.” his words were meant to scare you, and they did. but don’t you know? coriolanus snow doesn’t need a reason to do bad things.

coriolanus was wicked and ruthless when it came to what he wanted, if you had any hope of trying to get through this then you’d need lucy’s attention and help. so you nodded. “words sweetheart.” you swallowed your pride, your dignity, and you shook hands with the devil.

“yes, i’ll do what you say.” he straightened up, his white shirt a contrast to his dark thoughts.

“y’all ready to go?” lucy questioned as coriolanus grinned, “yes, yes we are.” he lifted you up and helped you dress, you hadn’t realised the fact that you were only dressed in his own white shirt, dress to you. he handled you like you were the most delicate object. as if he wasn’t hell bent on breaking you, over and over again. till you were fit to his standards. the captiol standards. the snow standards.

his, his, his.

with how obedient you were, he figured you’d do well in the capitol. which was exactly where he was meaning to bring you.

lucy walked in front of the two of you as you made your way through the woods. coriolanus’s hand was glued to your waist as he held you close, afraid to let go. you were at flight risk of course. his grip was tight and bruising. lucy’s humming distracted you at times, if you were delusional enough you could imagine it to be the two of you. your brothers far infront and the covey following. after an amazing afternoon at the lake, heading home for dinner, maybe a performance or the night shift.

your daydreaming was interrupted when you clocked coriolanus’s missing hand from your waist, and his arm now around lucy grays throat.

don’t you remember? you’d do well in the capitol! you were his! but not entirely, no.

not with her in the way.

you were frozen in place as lucy clawed at him before reaching out for you. a plea, a cry for help and aid yet you stood stuck in fear. a minute, two. she’d put up a strong fight, especially when you ran towards the two, pushing and shoving at coriolanus to let her go. but again, you fucked up.

here lies lucy gray baird, singer, victor, psycho.

obsessed? madly in love? you couldn’t think of another word, and as much as you wished to forget her, forget how she’d practically allowed another man into your relationship and let him kidnap you. her lifeless face and hollow eyes made your heart clench. but soon enough she was rolled over, thrown in a pre-made hole and buried. she’d survived the games but no one survived coriolanus snow.

“don’t forget what i said. don’t forget what you agreed to. you said you’d do as i say, i’m telling you to get up and follow me. we’re leaving district 12.” your face was painted with confusion as coriolanus clutched your face, “i’m going back, and you’re coming with me. don’t ask questions, just do as i say.”

and you did.

when he had you say goodbye to your family, a courtesy, a privilege he’d granted you. you kept it short and sweet, no questions just hugs and false promises of return.

when he ushered you onto the train and he wanted you to sit and be silent, you did.

through his time at the university, he wanted you close to him, living with him. and you did.

through his presidency campaign he wanted for you to charm sponsors and entice newcomers. you did.

when he wanted to marry you in a grand spectacle infront of the captiol and dress you up, you did as he asked.

when he held you down on your wedding night after tearing your dress off, biting and marking you down all over, pushing you down to your knees and took you all over the house, asking you to give yourself to him as if he didn’t take you anyways, you did.

you had no idea why at this point.

for your family? who hadn’t reached out in so long, even when they promised to talk to you every day? coriolanus had them all arrested, punished and hung for inciting riots and uprisings.

for your friends whom listened to your concerns of the capitol peacekeeper who hovered and didn’t make you feel crazy? each of them ended up dead in many different ways, hung, shot, a mugging gone wrong.

you didn’t know at this point and when you looked in the mirror you didn’t recognise the girl who stared back. a captiol sheep, dressed up in the finest silk dresses and slick heels yet the filth underneath the finery, jewels, and makeup weighed you down. each time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you, it felt like a peace of yourself was thrown away.

and as you clutched your swelling stomach, you couldn’t help but feel pity for baby number four.

maybe you’d grow up and find love.

maybe i’ll be able to take you all away from him.

maybe we’ll heal.

you thought, but in the back of your head, a little voice wouldn’t shut up.

you’ll always be his little dove.

[novvabee]

The Boys in the Band

AN: I got carried away with this one, but here is the second part to the band au

word count: 2.8k

cw: language? there is nothing really bad about this one.

Since your first show, you had been quite busy. You had opened for a couple bands at The Common Room, you booked a few nights at the popular club, The Hog’s Head, and managed to snag a spot in another festival. You had become popular very quickly amongst the girls, gays, theys, and young people in the city. Each gig you noted more and more fans, crowds growing, singing so loud and dancing so hard. 

This is what you always dreamed of, performing and making people happy. You lived for the drama and theatrics of it all, dressing up on stage and singing your heart out. The girls felt the same electricity, the same passion as you. That made your bond as a group that much stronger.

Not to mention, you were all good friends. Lily had mentioned to you that she and Mary had been messing around and found out they actually sounded really good together. Then they asked Marlene if she would play drums, which she said yes to in a heartbeat. And then Lily realized they needed a front woman, someone who could sing and bring the most energy. She thought of you, your bold and fierce attitude, your flirty and fun personality. And that is how you started.

The four of you wrote all the music you performed; the fun and girly songs by Mary, the campy over-the-top songs about women by Marlene, the sad and slow ballads by yourself, and the thought provoking and experimental ones by Lily.

Mary had the upbeat, girly, pop songs down. Her personality just flowed with inspiration for them, so those were the types of songs that you mostly sang and performed. You weren’t complaining, her songs were half the fun.

Marlene was full of something you all liked to tease her about; lesbian angst. But all that angst made for great songs to perform and were usually the crowd favorites.

Lily was slightly different, she was full of thoughts and ideas about the world, and her medium to get them out of her brain and into the world, was through music and lyrics. She wrote a lot of songs for women, for rights for all and for political change. If you had to pick, you would say hers were by far your favorites. She didn’t write often, but when she did, she had a message, something to say. You loved that about her.

Your songs were all ballads and sad. The girls teased you about that too, saying you shouldn’t let a man make you cry. It wasn’t exactly your fault, you had just gotten out of a long term relationship, and were drawing inspiration from all the confusing, mixed feelings that came with that. 

You had been dating this boy, Matthew, for about a year and a half, but everything seemed to take a turn for the worse a couple months ago. Your once sweet and charming boyfriend had turned into this cold, vacant man right in front of you. You two argued all the time, about small things as well as very important, serious things. He started accusing you of sneaking around, hiding things from him, cheating on him. None of it was true, and you tried to tell him that, but he wouldn’t listen to reason.

So you had enough. You told him that if you two couldn’t work things out, you didn’t know if you could continue on. He said nothing, just agreed with you. He didn’t try to mend the broken relationship, didn't try to fight either for you or with you. You would’ve taken either, but he just walked away.

As much as you tell yourself you’re doing so much better, that you have moved on and don’t care about him anymore, that isn’t exactly true.

You leaned into the band to distract yourself, putting everything you had in it so that you wouldn’t be left with those feelings. You’re just glad you had your friends, your girls who not only could help you through it, but also help you see this band through. They ignited you.

You felt that way even just sitting on the floor of Mary’s apartment. The space was cute and cozy. You girls were sprawled out over fluffy rugs, a plush couch, and two oversized bean bags. 

Mary was nodding her head along to a beat that only she could hear, writing down what you could only guess were new lyrics. Lily was strumming a tune she had been working on for over a week. You and Marlene were talking about what to wear for your upcoming show. 

“I think you'd look good in that pink leotard with the matching cowgirl boots.” Marlene recommended.

“The pink tassels or the pink heart?” you asked.

She thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up. “The tassels, that way you can wear the boots and maybe a cowboy hat,” she paused looking at the other two, “maybe we can try out Pink Pony?”

Excited, you clapped your hands together. You had been dying to perform this new song in front of a crowd and this was the perfect opportunity. You were playing at The Common Room again, but this time it was only you. Unlike every other performance you had, this time there were no openers, and no one else after you. You got a whole set for yourselves and the whole night to perform and party with fans.

The night was going to be nothing short of magical.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

James followed Remus and Sirius into the stage door of The Common Room.

All three boys wanted to come and see the performance that The Pixies were giving tonight. They had gained a lot of traction recently, seemingly overnight.

James didn’t feel at all jealous or threatened, they were doing just as well themselves, and they made entirely different music. He was more curious as to the fact that this band came out of nowhere.

The Marauders were used to competition revolving around the music world. They had been doing this for a while now, they understood the fight to fill spots and book sets. This band was just another contender now.

James was more frequently used to The Snakes stealing their gigs or spots in festivals, but now even they were pushed aside for this new band. The Snakes was led by Sirius’s little brother Regulus, another person on the list James hadn’t spoken to in a while. James knew that Regulus was a grudge holder, hell, he was related to Sirius, so he shouldn’t be surprised that Regulus cut all contact.

He fucked up, he knew he did. But he still wasn’t ready to think about it.

Slipping through the crowd and continuing to follow as best he could, all three boys ended up in the back of the already packed room. 

“Holy shit,” Sirius began, “there are so many people. How much were tickets?” He asked Remus.

Remus answered with a head shake. “Don’t know, Lily told me to come in through the back door so we wouldn’t have to pay.”

James’s stomach sunk, maybe he shouldn’t have come. Lily didn’t even invite him, he just tagged along with Remus. But, she had to have known that would happen, right? The boys didn’t do anything or go anywhere without each other.

“Oh my god! Hi,” came a voice from a girl to his right. “You’re The Marauders right? I love you guys. I’ve been to, like, a bunch of shows.” James recognized this girl. She was always front row or close enough, always giving Sirius a look that showed she wanted to fuck him, or at least become a groupie. “Could I get a pic?” she asked.

Sirius smirked. “Course you can sweetheart.” he said while she handed her phone to someone she was with. She stood between Remus and Sirius for the photo, then thanked the boys, obviously wanting the interaction to continue. 

James did not. He would look like such an asshole taking pictures with fans at Lily’s show.

The thought was cut short when the house lights dimmed and the stage turned a hazy pink color. James lost every thought in his head when you came out on stage.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Walking out onto the stage, you were met by a wall of sound, cheers and screams. Your nerves and butterflies instantly fluttered away. This is where you were meant to be, up here on this stage, in front of a crowd, making music. You had dreamed of this since you were a little girl.

You pranced yourself out in a cowboy hat and high heel boots, a matching sparkly and intricately tasseled leotard to top it all off. Your ass may be out, but that was the fun of it, the aesthetic. Especially for the new song you had prepared for the night. 

“Hello my friends.” you said, the cheers and screams somehow getting even louder. “We are The Pixies,” you introduced, “and we are here to give you the night of your life.”

You looked around the crowd to see so many faces enhanced with intricate and beautiful makeup looks, so many fans copying looks from your previous performances, so many bodies in bright colors. So many people who felt confident in what they were wearing and how they looked. 

“We’re gonna start off with a new one if that’s ok with you.” You announced you got an astounding amount of cheers, noting many phones launch into the air to record this new one. “This song is a fun one but more importantly,” you paused, the whole crowd hanging on your breath, “it is about what my mother thinks I am doing with my life. Here is Pink Pony Club!”

The girls started playing the intro and you walked to the front of the stage, sitting down, legs dangling off.

I know you wanted me to stay

But I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA

And I heard that there's a special place

Where boys and girls can all be queens every single day

You stood, walking back to center stage.

I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee

Hear Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me

Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene

She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream

You whipped around to the audience

God, what have you done?

You're a pink pony girl

And you dance at the club

Oh mama, I'm just having fun

On the stage in my heels

It's where I belong down at the

You started dancing and jumping around stage, Lily and Mary joining you, smiles plastered on their faces

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in

West Hollywood

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club, Pink Pony Club

The audience had settled into the performance, had gotten into the groove of the song, and joined in the dancing and the fun.

I'm up and jaws are on the floor

Lovers in the bathroom and a line outside the door

Blacklights and a mirrored disco ball

Every night's another reason why I left it all

I thank my wicked dreams a year from Tennessee

Oh, Santa Monica, you've been too good to me

Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene

She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream

God, what have you done?

You're a pink pony girl

And you dance at the club

Oh mama, I'm just having fun

On the stage in my heels

It's where I belong down at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in

West Hollywood

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club, Pink Pony Club

The crowd was going crazy, right along with you, until you slowed down and the girls played quieter for the bridge.

Don't think I've left you all behind

Still love you and Tennessee

You're always on my mind

And mama, every Saturday

I can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away, saying

God, what have you done?

You're a pink pony girl

And you dance at the club

Oh mama, I'm just having fun

On the stage in my heels

It's where I belong down at the

You jumped up and danced like crazy, the crowd joining in, loving this new song. Some picked up on the lyrics and were singing them back to you, the feeling indescribable.

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing down in

West Hollywood

I'm gonna keep on dancing at the

Pink Pony Club, Pink Pony Club

I'm gonna keep on dancing

I'm gonna keep on dancing

You kept dancing as Lily and Mary played the outro, out of breath and so happy. Once the song was finished, the whole building was filled with cheering. You looked to Mary, then over to Lily, they looked just as ecstatic, you could imagine Marlene felt the same. 

“Thank you, thank you!” you said into the mic. “Well, if you like that Common Room, we’re just getting started.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

James had never seen a concert, a band like yours. There was no way to describe it, you were just, stars already. 

The rest of the concert was filled with just as much fun, joy as the first song. The dancing and singing and laughing was indescribable. 

The boys waited after the concert, waited until the last of the fans trickled out, then they made their way backstage. Walking down the halls and to the dressing room that had a piece of paper with the word “Pixies” in bold letters, Remus knocked on the door. 

The giggling and sounds of excitement were radiating from the room, loudly even with the door shut.

They waited for a moment before the door pulled open, revealing Mary. The smile dropped from her face for a moment before she put another one in its place, this one though, was more of an uncomfortable grimace more than anything. “Hey! I didn’t know you guys were here.” Mary said, opening the door to let the boys slide through. She hugged each of them on their way in.

James made eye contact with Lily who was on the couch with Marlene. She didn’t break away. He quickly looked over to Marlene and smiled. “We wanted to come and say great show!” he said, directed at them all, but not being able to look away from Marlene, who just smirked, knowing the situation and that James was incredibly uncomfortable right now.

“Thanks.” Marlene replied smoothly. 

Sirius noted the tension and decided to break it. “Where is she?” he asked.

All eyes went to him as Mary asked “Y/N?”

He looked at her and rolled his eyes, “No, the queen.” he said sarcastically.

“Are you going to try to sleep with her?” Mary asked, not holding back.

“What, no!” Sirius denied as if it wasn’t exactly something Sirius would do. “I just want to meet her. ‘Know thy enemy’ and all that.”

Lily scoffed. “She’ll be out in a minute, I think she's taking off her makeup.”

And as if right on que, you waltzed right out of the connected bathroom and into the dressing room. Smiling, you looked at the boys standing across from the couch. 

“Here she is!” Mary ushered you over, chipper and still energized from the performance. “This is Y/N, Y/N these are the boys in The Marauders.”

Your smile grew. “The Marauders? You guys were amazing at the festival.”

Sirius smiled back at you, charming as ever. “‘I'm Sirius.” you looked to the next boy, who was glancing at a fuming Lily.

“Uh, I’m James.” He smiled, seeming to come back to reality and out of whatever thought he was lost in. 

You looked at the final boy, tall and leaning against the wall. “And you’re Remus, right?” you asked.

He nodded. “Yeah we met a while back, lovely to see you again.”

“Lovely to see you! And it is lovely to finally meet you two.” you said to the newly acquainted Sirius and James, they nodded and smiled politely. There was a noticeable tension between everyone in the room, was there really that much of a rivalry?

“I think the boys were just heading out,” Mary said to the three boys standing in front of her. “Isn't that right?”

Sirius huffed and led the other two out throwing a “See you all soon.” over his shoulder as Mary escorted and followed them out into the hallway, shutting the door beyond her.

“That was… strange.” you said to Lily and Marlene. They just looked at each other and laughed, rolling their eyes. You didn’t understand.

“They're idiots.” Marlene supplied.

“They're boys.” Lily corrected.

Taglist 💌:  @adharalikethestar @mayuwolfstar @ieatboysalive @maraudereestauderelb @bugg06 @slytherinambitious (yell at me if I forgot anyone)

[th3secr3th1story]

gojo and geto when you don't say "i love you" back

biggest losers ever

gojo

"baby, i'll see you soon, ok? don't miss me too much," gojo whined, attached to your hip as you rubbed his back.

he was assigned a mission somewhere in rural japan and likely wouldn't be back for a couple days, which was especially hard for the both of you seeing that you were never separated for more than 12 hours. (you and gojo were typically assigned to missions together, but this one wasn't a special-grade curse so it was only given to him. what a loser.)

"i should go," he sighed into your shoulder. "don't cheat, call me every day, don't start any new shows, don't go out, don't let anyone talk to you, buy tons of sweets for me, annoy megumi, punch nanami for me, don't for-"

"'toru! it's just a few days, i'll see you soon. just be careful, ok?" you giggled.

he (begrudgingly) removed himself from you, turning towards the door with a massive pout.

"alright, baby, i love you," he grouched.

"stay safe, 'toru! bring me back souvenirs," you smiled, waving at him.

except he didn't leave. he stood there, grinning at you expectantly, one hand on his mini suitcase and another on the doorknob.

when you simply kept waving at him, confused, his smile dropped.

"okay, fine. i guess i won't come home then," he said with a pout, glaring at you.

"huh?! what are you talking about?"

"well, since you clearly just want me to kill myself because you don't love me anymore, i guess i'll find someone else to marry," he sniffed.

"stop playing around, 'toru. you know i love you."

and just like that, gojo satoru was grinning like an idiot.

"okay, sweets, see you soon!"

and just like that, gojo satoru was out the door.

geto

the two of you were currently coddled up in your bed, you on top of geto as he massaged your scalp.

you weren't sure how long you both had been laying there, but neither of you wanted to move.

geto listened to you talk about your day, mainly filled with complaints about gojo and his weird behaviors.

you were currently telling him how itadori pranked fushiguro earlier that day in your class, barely able to suppress your giggles.

"-and then he put a fake spider on his shoulder. i swear, when fushiguro saw it i thought he was going to cry. it's so hard being a teacher sometimes, i forget that i can't laugh at the students."

geto chuckled lightly at the story as he listened to how happy you sounded retelling jujutsu high's antics.

once you finished, the two of you laid there in silence, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"you know i love you, right? you're the most important person in my life, y/n," he said softly.

you simply sighed and kissed his neck, happy to be in geto's embrace. but after a few seconds the head massaging stopped.

you whined and looked up to see why he paused. you were met with his dead stare.

"why'd you stop?" you asked, confused.

"'cause you don't appreciate me," he teased.

"no! you're my favorite man ever. i love you so much, suguru," you wailed, pressing his hand back on your head.

"man?"

"fine. you're my favorite person ever."

"person?"

"you're my favorite...organism ever?"

"that'll do, i guess," he mumbled, smiling.

geto resumed his ministrations and slowly lulled you to sleep with his light humming of a song gojo couldn't stop singing earlier that day.

(it only sounds good when it comes from him. no offense, gojo.)

[fairlyang]

Eres mía 🕷️

you'll always be his and he won't let you forget it

w/c: 2.3K

pairing: crazyex!miguel x takenfem!reader

tags: 18+ smut. homewrecking & cheating (don't do that!), making out, teasing, dry humping, grinding, save a horse ride a cowboy, cow girl, unprotected sex, slight cockwarming

notes: I use to listen to romeo’s toxic ass back in elementary- like I was a CHILD listening to this man sing abt snatching someone’s girl - n e way his songs are iconic

Ya me han informado que tu novio es un insípido aburrido

Tú que eres fogata y el tan frío

Your friends had given Miguel the chisme that you found yourself a new boyfriend and that he was a boring cold piece of shit. Just based off that he knew that man wasn't going to be better good for you.

Or better than he was to you.

Let alone the fact that you'd actually forgotten about him.

Dice tu amiguita que es celoso, no quiere que sea tu amigo

Sospecha que soy un pirata y robaré su flor

After your breakup you decided to remain friends, which was a given because the relationship ended on good terms. You only didn't tell him because you had to tell your girls first and kinda told them it was fine if they gave him the news, which they did with ease.

Then came the problem, your best friend pulled Miguel aside and told him that he was already a jealous man. But when you told him your ex was still a part of your main friend group he flipped.

Said he didn't want you to still be friends with your ex but you laughed in his face and waved him off.

Then he laughed when your best friend told him that your man suspected that Miguel was going to act like a pirate and steal what's rightfully his.

No te asombres

Si una noche

Entro a tu cuarto y nuevamente te hago mía

A couple days after receiving the news Miguel went to your place unannounced. You weren't exactly surprised he showed, you figured you should talk about it.

But he had other plans.

As soon as you closed the door behind you both, he grabbed your waist and stepped towards you, making your back hit the door. You looked at him with new annoyance and rolled your eyes before looking up at him. "Just wanted to give you a little warning." He murmurs and leans down, contemplating if he should kiss you or not.

"For what?" You sigh and cross your arms against your chest.

"Don't be surprised the day I come into your room and make you mine again." He whispers and you kept a straight face.

But you couldn't help the way your heart began racing when he finished speaking. And the close proximity didn't help either.

Bien conoces

Mis errores

El egoísmo de ser dueño de tu vida

"Sounds like a threat to me." You joke and he just scoffs.

"Don't start." He warns and you just shrug giving him a sweet smile.

"You know all my mistakes.... But you also know how my ego can be.." he starts and brought a hand up to cup your jaw and stroke your cheek gently. "about needing to be a part of your life."

Eres mía, mía, mía

No te hagas la loca, eso muy bien ya lo sabías

You bit your lip and locked eyes with him, of course he was being dead serious. He was never able to let go.

But maybe you still hadn't either.

Especially with the way those butterflies appeared in your stomach. Just like old times.

"You're mine." He whispers and you want to look away but you simply can't.

Because of the way he was holding you, making you look at him, and because deep down you didn't want to.

"And don't act surprised because you already knew this." He whispers sending a shiver down your spine.

Si tú te casas

El día de tu boda

Le digo a tu esposo con risas

Que solo es prestada

La mujer que ama

Porque sigues siendo mía (Mía)

"If you get married, the day of your wedding I'll tell your husband, while laughing in his face, that the woman he loves is only borrowed, because you're still mine." He says starting to really shake you up.

Your mind was running wild, your body was also having a mind of its own. You knew you had to stop this from moving forward, but you didn't have the strength to.

Dicen que un clavo saca un clavo pero eso es solo rima

No existe una herramienta que saque mi amor

"Nothing in the world can take out my love for you." He whispers and leans even closer to your face, merrily inches apart.

No te asombres

Si una noche

Entro a tu cuarto y nuevamente te hago mía

He takes notice of how you're not pushing him away, yelling at him to leave. So he uses this as his green light and leans in, getting rid of the space between you two and kisses you.

Bien conoces

Mis errores

El egoísmo de ser dueño de tu vida

You kiss him back passionately and wrap your arms behind his neck as he brings his hands down to your waist again. He walks backwards, bringing you with him and knowing your apartment like the back of his hand, maneuvering around your couch and going to the front of it.

He then felt the cushion of it and sat down, pulling you on top of him as you positioned yourself on his lap. His hands already began wandering your body, knowing exactly where and how you liked to be touched.

One of his hands was on your jaw and the other on your lower back, trailing along softly. Yours were now playing with his hair, lightly tugging and earning yourself those groans that’d drive you insane.

Suddenly you feel a smack on your ass making you moan so he slid his tongue into your mouth, not wanting to waste any time.

But he’s missed your kisses so much, he couldn’t help himself.

Eres mía, mía, mía

No te hagas la loca, eso muy bien ya lo sabías

He then pulled away and gently moved your head to the side. His lips were now on leaving kisses on your jaw and slowly making their way down.

You closed your eyes and realized how much you missed him. He hadn’t touched you in over ten months, too much time for you both.

He sucked on your skin before softly licking it then peppering kissed on the bruise he left. “All mine.” He murmurs and moves down to leave another by your collarbone.

Si tú te casas

El día de tu boda

Le digo a tu esposo con risas

Que solo es prestada

La mujer que ama

Porque sigues siendo mía (Mía mía mía)

You let out a shaky breath and attempt to squeeze your thighs together, only to create some friction between you and Miguel’s growing bulge.

You whimper while Miguel moans against your skin, leaving yet another mark. “Miguel-“

He hums and grabs the ends of your tee shirt before pulling it up exposing your pretty tits to him. Oh how badly he’s missed them.

He got to work and squeezed them both between his hands then sucked on the left nipple. He pinched your right nipple earning himself a moan before then alternating and sucks on your right nipple harshly.

Almost as if you’d disappear out of his hands if he was gentle or let go of you.

Te deseo lo mejor

Y el mejor, soy yo

He plops your nipple out of his mouth and looks up at you, “I only want what’s best for you…”

“And the best just happens to be me.” He mumbles and goes back to sucking on your left nipple.

You cried out and you bucked your hips against his, feeling his hard on against your barely covered cunt. Only the tiniest pair of fabric which is what you called panties.

But for Miguel those specific kinds you loved wearing were practically g strings, barely covering any of your cunt if anything your lips were out to show.

He pulled away and looked down at your body, a smirk tugging on his lips as you looked down in embarrassment.

“Still wearing these huh?” He teases and you just nod.

“That asshole doesn’t deserve you.” He murmurs and moves his hands to your hips, making you grind against him.

You know your heart is mine

And you'll love me forever

You gasped and started doing it on your own, still with his help because you knew how much he loved to grip your hips and watch at the same time. “You’re so beautiful baby.” He mumbles and you feel yourself clench against nothing.

He chuckles and smiles before letting go of your hips and grabs your hands, interlocking your fingers together as you continued your pace.

You could already feel your arousal soak through your panties and onto the sweatpants he was wearing. Way too fast but given Miguel always had you like that.

You know your heart is mine

And you'll love me forever

Your breathing was getting heavier as you grinded directly on Miguel’s length, you swore you could feel it occasionally twitch which just felt so good against your clit.

You gripped his hands and felt your eyes fluttering, “doing so good pretty girl.” He moaned out and felt his precum leak even more.

Baby, your heart is mine

And you'll love me forever

“Just missed you so much.” He mumbles and you open your lips to look at him, leaning in and leaving a peck on his lips.

He was going to kiss back but you wanted to prove a point so you pulled back and leaned your forehead against his, “I did too.”

Baby, your heart is mine

And you'll love me forever

His heart skipped a beat and he could feel his face grow warm. You smiled and then got off warning yourself a frown from him.

Until he noticed you were just taking off your soaked panties and dropping them to the floor.

You then leaned down and grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants, slowly pulling them down as he lifted his hips up so you can take them off.

No te asombres

Si una noche

Entro a tu cuarto y nuevamente te hago mía

You slid them down his legs and off his feet, dropping them to the floor before looking at his bulge, more so his boxers that were shiny from your slick.

You widen your eyes in shock then chuckle, it was more than normal…

You then went into his boxers and grabbed his cock, sliding it through the hole before once again getting on top of him. This time having the same thing in mind, except this time you’d be grinding your bare cunt on to his cock.

It was already swung up by his stomach so you sat down, positioning yourself directly on top of his shaft. You whimpered at the new feeling and slowly started to move your hips as Miguel laid his head back onto the couch. “Oh fuck baby.” He groaned and brought his hands to your hips, gripping your skin gently.

You felt your slick move with every movement and your cunt felt so good against his cock. It wasn’t like anything you’ve both felt.

Now you were left wondering why you’d never try that before.

Bien conoces

Mis errores

El egoísmo de ser dueño de tu vida

But you quickly remembered why when Miguel was giving you those eyes. Those eyes he gave you when he needed you.

All too familiar and you weren’t going to deny him the pleasure of finally being inside you after missing you for so many months.

And vice versa.

You missed his cock. And all of him in general. You just couldn’t get yourself to admit it.

So you decide to show it.

You lift yourself up and grab his cock, positioning him into your entrance then without a second to spare, you slam down onto him making you both moan.

You then brought yourself back up then slam back down making you whimper. It’d been so long it was as if it was a brand new cock inside you.

Eres mía, mía mía mía

No te hagas la loca, eso muy bien ya lo sabías

Not wanting to waste anymore time you continued fucking yourself into him as he moaned out praises and sweet nothings that were only bringing you closer to the edge.

You were practically edging the both of you so your orgasm wasn’t too far off, and you hadn’t been having the best sex recently so this was already having you going fast.

And worse that it was with Miguel of all people.

But end of the day it was going to be hard for you to turn him down.

He then starts thrusting up as you came down, ensuring he’d thrust deep inside you already. “Missed this so badly baby.” He moans and he slams into you harder.

“F-Feels s- fuck! Feels so g-good Miguel.” You moan and grab onto his shoulders to support yourself.

“I know baby, I know. Fuck I’ve missed you.” He groans and thrusts into you harder making your legs shake.

Si tu te casas

El día de tu boda

Le digo a tu esposo con risas (ha ha ha ha ha)

Que solo es prestada

La mujer que ama

Porque sigues siendo mía

He twitched inside you and your were clenching against him which only made him speed up. He needed you to cum around him so badly.

“Cum for me baby. I need to feel you cum around my cock.” He grunts and you nod vigorously before crying out.

“You’re all fucking mine.” He moans making you let out bundles of moans and whimpers for him. Your orgasm quickly approached you and hit you hard like a tidal wave.

Your whole body began shaking as he groaned and shot his load inside you. He sat his ass on the couch and let you sit on his cock as he filled you up to the brim.

You were both breathing heavily and you could hear your heart beat ringing in your ear. You brought your body down and laid your head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you lovingly.

You felt him kiss the top of your head as you closed your eyes and calmed your breathing down. He did the same except with a wide grin on his face, he missed you so much and now he finally had you back in his arms for good.

[blehblehbleh735]

Get to know rapper!chris x singer!reader!!

SINGER!READER

Genre: pop, indie-pop

Similar artists: Madison Beer, Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eillish

Albums and covers (coming soon)

Gained Fame: In 2021, Y/N started making music after her boyfriend cheated on her and their messy breakup, she put all of her feelings into songs and decided her new life started at that moment. She tested with sounds and one day she randomly posted them out of nowhere. Her confidence, however, skyrocketed when she only got maybe 1000 monthly listeners after about 3 months. She gave up and continued with life as if nothing happened.

In 2023, a beloved artist named Gracie Abrams, noticed her pathetic music and reached out. Y/N, much to her dismay, of course said yes when Gracie asked to do a collaboration with her. The song blew up on tik tok and other social media platforms and Y/N’s 6 songs soon started rising. Rooftops, a song about her ex, was #14 on the top 200 in the US. Gracie and her became good friends and Y/N got into song writing again.

Cute little headcanons:

Singer!y/n, who doesn't pay attention to rude or sexualising comments about her body but Chris does. When they're out in public and Chris hears someone say one thing about her, he’s practically on top of them and he’s not scared to beat the shit out of them.

Singer!y/n, who keeps a notebook full of random lyrics inspired by overheard conversations, half of which make absolutely no sense at all, but are oddly poetic

Singer!y/n, who insists on hand signing fan’s posters because it's more “personal” even if it takes hoursSinger!y/n, who will stop a concert mid way if she sees a sign or an outfit that she loves just to compliment that person.

Singer!y/n, who loves making up dumb tik tok dances to her songs just for funSinger!y/n, who’s fans are called the most ridiculous name. It started as a joke but now it's a part of her brand.

Singer!y/n, who takes a polaroid picture with her team before every show

Singer!y/n, who gets nervous before award shows, so Chris shows her his “pre game hype” which consists of terrible dancing and a not so helpful pep talk in a mirror

RAPPER!CHRIS (CHRI$)

Genre: hip hop, rap (obviously)

Similar artists: Playboi Carti, The Kid LaROI, Lil Skies

Albums and covers (coming soon)

Gained fame: Chris started his career more recently at the beginning of 2024. Because of the youtube channel, Chris didn't need to be famous for his music. About mid 2024, his music started to get recognized by more than just Sturniolo Triplets fans. Playboi Carti actually liked Chris’s music for what it was.

On Carti’s tik tok, he posted a video with one of Chris’s songs as the sound. Don't know how this made Chri$ more popular but his listens blew up hours later. 11 million monthly listeners quickly went to 30 in less than a month.

Cute little headcanons:

Chri$, who always kept his word, and has never done drugs, drank alcohol, or smoked a vape or cigarette in his life.

Chri$, who’s concerts are the most wild and fun thing ever. The energy in the sold out stadiums is exhilarating and the fans in the front row will probably not be able to hear anything else for days.

Chri$, who makes sure that you are always comfortable and happy no matter what you’re doing.

Chri$, who has your stuff scattered everywhere. He’s got hair ties on his wrist, your hairbrush in his car, and your clothes are all over the place.

Chri$, who once hung a pair of your panties on the rear view mirror in his car because the color “complimented” the vibe

Chri$, who never lets you pay for anything. This man will do everything and anything to make sure your card never sees daylight. Sometimes he steals your wallet before you even leave the car.

Fics to look forward to: (I obviously have not been busy)

Sleepytime - Chris asks Y/N to sing him to sleep one night

Model - Y/N’s manager needs to meet with her about upcoming tour outfits but Chris is not having it with her leaving

Noise Complaints - Late night studio sessions in Y/N’s apartment lead to awkward run ins with the neighbors

Pink Sweater Season - Chris borrows Y/N’s favorite oversized pink sweatshirt for a music video and the internet has questions.

Off Key Apologies - After a heated argument, Chris writes a very pathetic song as an apology but Y/N doesn't want to hear it

Mute - A mic on a live stream reveals way too much about how Chris feels about Y/N

Paper House - The power went out and the house is quiet so Chris and Y/N decide to build houses out of cards.

Stage Left - A surprise performance during Chris’ tour has the crowd cheering—and Y/N wondering where she stands with Chris

Signs - Chris finds an old playlist you made for him and realizes the feelings were there all along—he just missed the signs.

Second Verse - Chris struggles to finish a song about…love and how he hates to admit how much the second verse sounds like you.

REQUESTS!!

[babiebom]

Stardew Bachelor/ette’s as Mean Girls (2024) characters

A/N: i recently watched the new mean girls musical movie and it wasn’t as bad as people were saying it was. Like the singing and the songs were good, the cast fit their characters(except for Aaron’s actor sorry I feel like they could’ve gotten someone hotter but I do understand where Cady was coming from like he’s cute enough that if you’re in high school and in the same class as him at least one person would have a crush on him.) so like I do with everything I consume let’s stardew-ify it!!

Tw:mentions of bullying, cursing, sex, drugs, lmk if there’s something I missed!!

Bc: at least 4 for each

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Shane

Principal Duvall

Is tired of this shit

And teenage girls lowkey frighten him

Would yell and get everyone’s attention in the hallway bc I think he has the lungs

Would leave it to Leah to take over the assembly lmao

“Tell everyone you’re not a drug pusher PLEASE”

Elliott

Damian

While Elliott and Abigail aren’t really friends

He has the flamboyancy I feel to fit this character

Also it’s canon that all characters are bi so it’s okay for him to be in this role

Would probably have all the tea and would be as dramatic as Damian

“She doesn’t even go here?????”

He just seems bestie type

Alex

Aaron Samuels(is that his last name?)

I think this is as obvious as who Regina is.

I don’t think he’s as smart as Aaron is, BUT is popular enough to make Haley want to have some claim over him.

And is cute enough that new girls will immediately have a crush on him

Would actually be crushed if he got cheated on

Harvey

Kevin

The guy on the mathlete team or whatever it was called

Mostly because he’s smart and I do think he would’ve been in some nerdy ass club as a kid

Also at high school college point I do think he would’ve gone through a slightly edgy phase of being a nerd that talks about getting bitches all the time

Would want Maru on the team

Leah

Ms.Norbury

Because I think it’s funny

Like out of all of them Leah would be the one to be called a drug pusher

Like I personally think she smokes weed or eats like weed salads or something

And personally I think she’s above all of the drama of mean girls

Would gather everyone and be like WTF is wrong with y’all we are better than this.

Emily

Karen

Now don’t get me wrong Emily isn’t as dumb as Karen at all

BUT they both have this daydream-y airheadedness about them

And I don’t mean airhead as in stupid either, just more….in outer space than other people if you know what I mean

Like always in their own head

Don’t care about what others think to an extent

If you think about it she fits kinda

Somehow finds herself in the drama even though she’s just been daydreaming this entire time

Maru

Cady Herron

Listen I don’t think Maru would have the balls to do what Cady did

But they both are insanely smart and I can see Maru falling in love with any boy in her class that gives her attention

Would tell someone they aren’t as smart as they thought they were while drunk

She is in calculust yall

Penny

Gretchen Wieners

In the movie Gretchen is very insecure and just wants to be the best friend she can be even if it’s by helping Regina bully others

And at some point turns on Regina because she’s had enough

And is quiet enough to be overlooked as the pretty friend of the popular one

Meek and accepting like Gretchen is

Literally just wants to fit in

Abigail

Janis

I went between her and Leah for this but I think Abigail fits this role more

I think it’s more about style Janis always has a punk rock look about her and Abigail is emo/goth/punk

And while she isn’t autistic I think she is more likely to be called a pyro-Les than Leah is.

Abigail is just the right amount of unhinged to be Janis

Haley

Regina George

Come on this was the most obvious thing about this list

Like actually blonde, gives off bully vibes

Would take over a school and is probably rich.

Would be an absolute bitch and be mean to people then throw a fit when it turns around on her.

Tell me who “world burn” and “introducing the plastics” fits more. I’ll wait.

Unfortunately there aren’t enough characters so Seb and Sam don’t get anyone to themselves but I think both have the energy to fit both Aaron and Damian. Like both are total cuties that anyone would have a crush on even though seb is intimidating and introverted. And both I feel like would have the sass and bestie vibes of Damian so both could be both oof

[pinkpastels113]

Rediscovering some Good Songs, so now I'm wondering, what are some songs you associate with Beca & Chloe? (Or the other Bellas!) And why?

I HAVE SO MANY SONGS SO THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION (ie i struggled adfgdjhsk) but i still hope yall like:

beca

no diggity (blackstreet) bc obviouslyy

no scrubs (tlc) just the vibee ahh and my lil bisexual girlie will not be with a man if he is not good to her !!!

just the way you are (bruno mars) DUHHHH the eye contact in the pool sigh and the moment where aubrey relinquished control of the pitch pipe and chloe was smug like see bree i told you she's good we will def make it to lincoln center

freedom! '90 (george michael) no explanation needed and bc she is finally getting recognized for her talent ahh but she decided to share it with her family (the bellas!!)

cups (originally by ap carter i think) bc iconic pop culture phenomenon

paint the town red (doja cat) rawr alt badass girlie pp1 beca

poison poison (renee rapp) for @afh48 mostly but yes!! beca is very "you're so fucking annoying" core

before he cheats (carrie underwood) she SLAPPED IN THAT RIFF OFF IM AFRAID- the way she grabbed that guy's jacket oof

chloe

she's v my "pink glitter gel pen" playlist coded i fear and here are some music/songs from it:

pocketful of sunshine (natasha bedingfield) bc she's a sunshine baby even kendrick says so <33

message in a bottle (taylor swift) i just think she's a swiftie and that this song and its fast beat and bubblegum pop is very her

we are never ever getting back together (taylor swift) red era chloe beale stan

love me harder (ariana grande) THAT PART IN PP3 WHEN SHE SINGS "love me harderrr, cuz if you really need me you gotta gotta gotta love me harder, gotta love me harderrr” GETS ME EVERY TIME

i kissed a girl (katy perry) her coming out song

still into you (paramore) she def dances around the bella house to this song

material girl (madonna) and this also pertains to aubrey, this is their friendship song <33

ocean eyes (billie eilish) brittany's eyes are so pretty i cant even begin to describe-

bechloe (the way i had originally just put these songs under beca and chloe separately but they got too many songs that make me think about them together that it should be a different section lmao)

not to be a dramatic (zoe clark) from beca to chloe <33 just LISTEN to the lyrics pls omg it is so angsty and pining

mascara (kylie cantrall) chloe telling beca the message in this song when she breaks up with jesse :((

friends dont (maddie & tae) just listen to it pls yall it's literally friends to lovers of them and fits their vibe perfectly and everytime i listen to it i daydream a whole ass bechloe fic like it's INSANE

not like im in love with you (lew) same thing as above

titanium (david guetta) sigh if i dont include this esp in this fandom i might as well kms/joking teehee

kiss me (sixpence none the richer) soft domestic bechloe <333

toxic (britney spears) again, the trust, the chemistry, the eye contact, the harmonies, the solos in pp3. im feral.

good luck, babe! + casual + red wine supernova (chappell roan)

birds of a feather (billie eilish) ahh i love them and to this song sm "i'll love you till the day i die, till the light leaves my eyes, till the day i dieee"

enchanted + dress + gorgeous + dancing with our hands tied (taylor swift)

stacie

low (flo rida) pp2 riff off cuz shawty had that apple bottom jeans (jeans) boots with the furr (with the fur) the whole club was lookin' at herr

sex with me (rihanna) pretty obvious methinks lmao

s&m (rihanna) no words truly

taste (sabrina carpenter) i headcanon stacie as pan so i just feel like the lyrics of this song can pertain to her if she's ever realizing that her past prospects are fucking each other <33

you problem (cloudy june, emlyn) i feel like she believes karma is a thing and "oh well you kinda asked for it haha" when someone comes to her complaining about drama or something like that if they started it in the first place if that makes sense

breakfast (dove cameron) nom nom her attitude towards men most of the time i think; "he's a hunter" coded

honey, im good (andy grammer) STAUBREY but she would never cheat on aubrey obv but maybe angst at the beginning of their relationship

heart attack (demi lovato) ANOTHER STAUBREY SONG HEHE

confident (demi lovato) goes without saying that stacie is confident in who she is and what she wants and goes for it

aubrey

boyfriend (dove cameron) hmm anyone here for jealous wlw aubrey? bc i am

hit me with your best shot (pat benatar) pp1 riff off :))

classic (mkto) she's just so Classic and i feel like she would love to be wooed traditionally like the whole wine and dine thing and lots of flowers on dates (stacie cough** im looking at you)

what makes you beautiful (one direction) i debated putting this under her or chloe but chloe def knows that she's hot, quoting “yeah im pretty confident about... all this ;))” so aubrey it is!!

hey blondie (dominic fike) girlie just wants to be serenaded fr

pretty girls (renee rapp) a lot of angst in coming to terms with her sexuality unfortunately :((

emily

sit still look pretty (daya) i can NOT listen to this song without thinking of her now i fear

flashlight (jessie j) same reason as above!! legacy is just a baby aaahh

cool kids (echosmith) she just wants to fit in 🐣

most girls (hailee steinfeld) i feel like she admires a lot of girls around her and wants to be like them and obv hailee singing it helps lol

cynthia rose

crazy youngsters (ester dean) that music video!!

starships (nicki minaj) idk i just think ab her when i hear it

amy

we belong (pat benatar) that "hey im soloing here!! whataver!!" part is so funny to me every time haha in pp2

[mirrorball-leclerc]

fruitcake

series masterlist

NOVEMBER 8, 2023

liked by isabellaperez, penelopetrevino, pierregasly and others

maejonesverstappen made smthn special for you guys for the holidays 🤍 ‘fruitcake’ out 11/17!

view all comments

isabellaperez will there be new songs i can traumatize jos with?

maxjonesverstappen1 i can’t believe it’s right before winter break…

↳ isabellaperez CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS ALL YEAR LONG YOU GRINCH!

danieljonesricciardo i am worried.

↳ daphnejonesricciardo i am also worried

estebanocon i still can't look max in the eyes. do not traumatize me again.

user83 CHRISTMAS EP! YES!

user10 watching these guys panic that mae is going to pull another nonsense/a nonsense christmas on them is so fucking funny to me.

user72 any christmas song by the jones sisters is a certified chrismash.

↳ user02 real. i listen to christmas tree farm everyday after thanksgiving

↳ user41 who gives a fuck about thanksgiving?

↳ user02 I DO! IT'S A HOLIDAY TOO! PEOPLE LOVE TO FORGET ABOUT IT.

↳ user41 not everyone lives in the states.

↳ user02 i meant in the states.

landonorris i beg. please do not traumatize us further.

↳ maejonesverstappen no promises 😊

↳ arthur_leclerc think of the children! like olliebearman

↳ olliebearman okay that's rude. i am not a child!

↳ maxjonesverstappen1 you couldn't even drink in vegas. you are a child!

george russell please tell me we are safe from another nonsense christmas.

mae jones-verstappen maybe. maybe not.

esteban ocon i don't think i can take another one.

lewis hamilton i know i can't take another one. i will leave the group chat for real if it happens again.

mae jones-verstappen when i do it's a problem but when penny released mayores no one had a problem.

penelope trevino that was back in 2017! and i didn't know anyone but carlos! let it go! and i also wasn't dating anyone at the time.

carlos sainz that's not true. you were with what's his face. the one who cheated? penelope trevino we don't talk about that dickhead.

natalia ruiz is that the guy carlos said he was glad cheated on you?

daphne jones-ricciardo what?

lando norris dad said what to mom?

penelope trevino in his defense, we hated each other then. when he got cheated on, i told him he deserved it.

isabella perez how the hell are you two even together if you hated each other?

penelope trevino same reason you're with oscar. he taught me how to love again. dulce perez huh. that's cute. when's the wedding?

natalia ruiz i bet carlos and penelope are going to end up married before me.

alex albon she's practically screaming at charles to propose already.

natalia ruiz he's too naïve to get the hint.

logan sargeant have some faith in him nat. maybe he's just scared?

NOVEMBER 17, 2023

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, baileywinters, dulceperez and others

maejonesverstappen fruitcake is officially out now ♡ just sayin i never seen santa klaus and mae jones-verstappen in the same room

view all comments

rowantodd someone's watching too much vampire diaries again.

↳ maejonesverstappen THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH VAMPIRE DIARIES!

↳ maxjonesverstappen she's forcing me to have a marathon.

↳ maejonesverstappen boy the couch surely looks comfortable for you tonight.

↳ maxjonesverstappen i meant, yay, we're having a vampire diaries marathon!

↳ maejonesverstappen that's better 😊

user53 came into this expecting a cindy lou who to be a happy song. HOW COULD I BE SO WRONG?

user20 this is officially my go to christmas album

pierregasly THIS IS A GOOD DAY! NO DICK REFERENCES ABOUT MAX!

↳ alex_albon WAR IS OVER! I REPEAT WAR IS OVER!

georgerussel63 i can sleep peacefully now!

↳ isabellaperez i know you ass isn't talking, i caught you singing a nonsense christmas the other day.

↳ georgerussell63 yes, but i tend to block out that the song is about max

danieljonesricciardo oh thank god. no more dick jokes.

↳ maejonesverstappen you guys are just haters. you all enjoyed the song before you knew who it was about.

↳ estebanocon it's a good song yes. but it's about max. i did not need to know those things about your life.

↳ maejonesverstappen it would be a shame if there were a christmas nonsense mv.

↳ pierregasly is that just an excuse to leak your sex tape?

↳ maejonesverstappen wouldn't you just love to see that? (it doesn't exist btw)

↳ user47 nah, that's unhinged mae.

isabella perez max blink twice if you need help

max jones-verstappen i am fine. i do not need help. i love the vampire diaries. mae jones-verstappen he's fine. he's being dramatic.

max jones-verstappen THE SHOW IS UNREALISTIC! HOW AM I MEANT TO WATCH IT?

daniel jones-ricciardo it's a show about vampires max, it's not supposed to be realistic!

isabella perez hey, does giuseppe salvatore remind anyone of someone?

natalia ruiz eh, i see him more as a john winchester. max jones-verstappen who the hell are you two talking about? isabella perez NO ONE! natalia ruiz NO ONE!

daniel jones-ricciardo i hate that i understand exactly what they're talking about.

charles leclerc what does it mean?

isabella perez sorry charlie, if you know you know. arthur leclerc unfortunately i understand this

mae jones-verstappen YOU PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THE VAMPIRE DIARIES UNIVERSE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

penelope trevino they're talking about supernatural mae, not tvd.

mae jones-verstappen i know but i'm making a point here penelope.

mae jones-verstappen i have to go, i have a needy 14 year-old demanding attention.

max jones-verstappen he's doing this shit on purpose. he's stealing my wife's attention from me.

charles leclerc this is what you get for allowing him to live with you until the new year.

max jones-verstappen mama jones deserved a break from the demon. she is living her best life on vacation right now daniel jones-ricciardo she deserve it after raising two wonderful daughters, a demon spawn, and surviving through a divorce.

natalia ruiz stan momma jones and pascale leclerc.

isabella perez AND MY MAMI AND SOPHIE! zoya torres AND NAT! MOTHER IS MOTHERING EVERYONE!

oscar piastri correct me if i'm wrong but isn't rhys doing press for his show soon?

max jones-verstappen he is but that doesn't mean i'm enjoying having him around for the time being.

daniel jones-ricciardo he says that now but he literally bought the kid so many christmas presents max jones-verstappen he's growing on me, sort of like mold.

daphne jones-ricciardo i'm telling him you said that.

max jones-verstappen DON'T YOU DARE DAPHNE!

DECEMBER 7, 2023

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, daphnejonesricciardo, charles_leclerc and others

maejonesverstappen santa doesn't know you like i do music video featuring a very special guest. go watch it to find out!

view all comments

charles_leclerc i better not be watching the video just to see max's face.

↳ charles_leclerc i spoke too soon.

user61 THIS WHOLE VIDEO WAS SO FUCKING CUTE?? THEY ARE THE IT COUPLE OF RED BULL!

↳ maejonesverstappen unfortunately that title belongs to geri and salty spice, but thank you for that!

↳ user61 OH MY GOD!

rowantodd wish my relationship was as cute as this video

↳ pierregasly do i mean nothing to you? i'm trying!

↳ user01 PICK UP THE SLACK TRIPOD!

isabellaperez you win this time jones-verstappen but i will find something new to terrorize jos with trust me.

↳ rhysjones you looking for a partner?

↳ isabellaperez LET'S GO! WELCOME TO THE TERRORIZE JOS CLUB BABY JONES!

↳ maxjonesverstappen oh no. this is why i randomly shivered.

↳ danieljonesricciardo oh no. the world is about to end.

↳ user52 the one thing they didn't want happening happened. i pray for them.

user95 stop this video is so cute. me and who when?

user80 this video just called me single in about 100 different ways.

penelopetrevino this is so cute, pick up the slack carlos.

↳ carlossainz55 is it your job to make us look bad maxjverstappen1?

↳ maxjonesverstappen i am the superior s/o and i have to prove it.

↳ danieljonesricciardo back the fuck up that role belongs to me jones-verstappen. i was here first.

↳ maxjonesverstappen you wouldn't even know your wife if it weren't for me meeting mae.

↳ danieljonesricciardo you don't know that! i'm still superior.

↳ rhysjones you both suck. fernandoalo_oficial would've been a better brother-in-law.

↳ maxjonesverstappen wow, you're the worst.

↳ danieljonesricciardo i'm hurt little stink.

natalia ruiz wow. i wish i was married or engaged.

george russell she's screaming again charles!

isabella perez WHY HAVE I BEEN KEPT AWAY FROM BABY JONES?!

daphne jones-ricciardo for the fact that you and rhys cannot be trusted to be left alone for more than 2 minutes.

mae jones-verstappen because you're both idiots who cannot be left alone.

max jones-verstappen I AM NOT AN IDIOT MAE! AND TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO STOP GLARING AT ME!

mae jones-verstappen YOU STOLE HIS PHONE?

max jones-verstappen added one person

rhys jones I GAVE IT BACK!

rhys jones i get why they call him mad max now.

ollie bearman at least i'm not the youngest one here anymore.

rhys jones renamed the group chat to motorsports biggest headaches

rhys jones changed the group chat icon

rhys jones simply because you are the biggest headaches in motorsports

sebastian vettel finally someone who gets it.

rhys jones OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!

max jones-verstappen with pleasure. rhys jones SCREW YOU SID! IT'S SEBASTIAN FUCKING VETTEL! max jones-verstappen calm down timon.

fernando alonso how can you be related to him and somehow he's still not your biggest fan?

rhys jones AND THAT'S FERNANDO ALONSO! MISTER, I RELATE TO YOUR WAR CRIMES! I'M A WAR CRIMINAL TOO! daniel jones-ricciardo once again, it's a character you play. rhys jones SHUT UP BIG STINK!

lewis hamilton oh god, this is great.

rhys jones JUSTICE FOR ABU DHABI 2021 SIR HAMILTON! YOU WERE ROBBED! max jones-verstappen you literally congratulated me after i won. rhys jones DETAILS ARE NOT IMPORTANT

george russell i love this kid

daniel jones-ricciardo you won't be saying that in about 20 minutes when he explains every single piece of lore in percy jackson. he's got serious issues.

isabella perez but he is percy jackson. cut him some slack dude.

rhys jones SHE GETS IT!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! love that these guys are scared of mae pulling another nonsense christmas on them. my attempt at covering the actor (i don't know his name) from the santa doesn't know you like do music video is atrocious but it's the thought that count. we need to use our imagination for the sake of the plot. rhys is my precious little baby and i will do anything to protect him.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[bigball-thefrog]

Hi there! I was wondering if you could maybe a Brook x Reader where the reader is deeply in love with Brook but doesn’t think they’re good enough so they just slowly start distancing themselves. (Also the reader has a nature aesthetic) Thank you!!

Of course, thank you for the idea I loved writing it!

Warnings/Tags:

Slight angst with comfort

Talking about insecurities and the feeling of being unworthy

______________________________

Narrator POV

Everyone called you crazy but goddammit you didn't care, there was just something about that musical skeleton that just made your heart swoon. Was it his voice when he sang, his musical talent, his jokes? You didn't know what made you so attracted to him but you didn't care, you loved him and Brook loved you back all the same.

Yet, why did you feel so unworthy...? Why did your heart drop when he haves you nothing but the sweetest compliments? Why did you want to pull away when his finger bones gently caressed your body? Why did you feel so guilty when he pressed his teeth against your lips in an attempt to kiss you? Why did you have the urge to tell him to stop when he would serenade you with his newest song?

It was because of you.... No you didn't secretly cheat on him or even look at another with desire, your heart belonged to Brook but, why? It's because you weren't good enough, you couldn't sing or come up with amazing music like him, you couldn't fight the way he could, you weren't funny like he was. In your eyes you were just some useless member that sits around admiring nature all day instead of being useful, in your eyes you were not worthy... But to Brook? You were so much more. To him you were this amazing beautiful, talented being that resembled mother nature herself. Brook could listen to hours and hours of all the facts you knew about different plants, he loved your asthetic and found it relaxing compared to the usual loud chaoticness of the crew, he loved that you preferred things to stay peaceful rather than fight but still knew when fighting was necessary and fought well, he loved how selfless you are when it came to the crew and what he loved the mast was your beautiful heart and that you were able to love an old skeleton like him. But unfortunately you could not read Brooks mind so you still thought of yourself as unworthy of someone like him. And as time went on, the voices became louder, telling you that you weren't enough, telling you that Brook deserves someone better and unfortunately, you started to believe it.

You began believing you were unworthy and started to slowly distance yourself. It started off with talking less, then it went on to rejecting Brooks date offers and eventually you you just kept clear of Brook any chance you got. Brook was concerned, what had happened to make you do this? Why was his beloved muse keeping away from him? Had he made too many panty jokes? Was his music not emotional enough? Have you found a better lover with skin and organs? It confused and upset him and it wasn't long before he decided to get to the bottom of this. One morning before breakfast Brook made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the day when he heard a familiar humming from the bathroom, he peaked inside to see you by the sink, brushing your hair while humming one of the many songs he had written for you. It made his metaphorical heart burst with joy and his skinless cheeks turn red at the fact that you still remembered his music for you. With a quiet sigh, Brook sncuk into the bathroom and came up behind you with you noticing. He placed his boney hands on your waist and spoke, "My dear, you don't know how much it excites me to hear your sweet voice hum one of my songs, oh how I've missed it." you were startled at the skeleton appearing behind you and putting his hands on your waist. But you sighed and turned to look at him, "I thought I made it clear that I don't want to be around you anymore..." you td him with fake annoyance in your voice. "You did, but I thought I made it clear that I'm in love with you and will not be able to move on or leave you until you tell me what I did." His words made you feel bad. I made him thought it was all his fault you really are an asshole, you thought to yourself, "You did nothing wrong..." "Then tell me what's going on. Did you find a new lover?" "No..." "Then please my dear, tell me what's wrong so I can make everything better and we can move on, either together or apart..." you sighed. You knew this might happen, you had that feeling that Brook wouldn't just take your rejection without a proper answer so you confused, "It's me that's the problem... I'm not good enough for you and I think you deserve someone better..." Once you said those words it all clicked together in Brooks skull, so this is what everything is all about?

Brooks face softened and he cupped your cheek gently, "My dear, you are the most wonderful person I've met. You are my inspiration to make music, you are my reason to keep fighting, so I can be alive and see your smile everyday, you're one of the few people that didn't freak out when first seeing me rather looked at me with fascination. My dear, you are my muse." Brook took your hand and placed his teeth against it, making that smooch sound like he usually does when he kisses you. You blushed and felt your heart start racing, that feeling that only Brook could ignite in you, oh how you missed the feeling but those insecurities still plagued the back of your mind, "But still I-" you were cut off by Brook placing a finger over your lips, "No buts my love. To me you are simply amazing and can not be replaced. To me you are my light when I get lost in the dark. You are my motivation to carry on my dreams. You are my everything, and I don't want you to distance yourself like this again. Next time you feel insecure, talk to me. You are my dearest and I want to make sure that you are doing well, because I love you." those three words, the words that would always cause you to crack and do anything for him, "I love you too..." you mumbled back, Brook smiled widely and kissed your hand again. "That's my love~" Brook said as he pressed his teeth against your forehead and made that smooching sound again. "Now let's finishing up in here and I can seranade you while we have breakfast. I've come up with a new song about my love for you."

______________________________

I've been in a writing mood since yesterday so expect more stuff real soon.

Kelly🐸

[placeinthisworld]

ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

[tokiohotel-luvr]

Love you like me - Tom kaulitz

So I randomly got the idea to write a smut about 2010 Tom inspired by this song. I’d recommend listening to the song if you decided to read

Pairing- Dom!Tom x female oc

Warnings- Dom!Tom, car sex, hair pulling, fingering, slight choking, slight angst, degradation, praise, p n v, name calling (slut, whore, good girl) cheating on tom, and I think that’s everything

And this is obviously 18+ so MDNI!!!

Tom’s POV-

My eyes flutter open at the sound of my phone ringing, I sit up rubbing the sleep from my eyes as my girlfriend’s contact fills the screen. She never calls this late at night. I shoot up answering the call bringing the phone to my ear

“Hello, Val, are you okay?” i ask, concern filling me

“I’m sorry, i'm so sorry” she sobs

It's evident she's been drinking all night, the way music drums in the background, her words slurring together as she stutters out an apology.

“Are you okay? Where are you?” a million questions threaten to fall out of my mouth. I stand up placing the call on speaker as i pull my clothes on, that’s when i hear a faint male voice fill my room.

“Tom, I fucked up and there’s no taking it back” she slurs sounding even more distraught.

I whip my head facing the phone once more as I grab my phone, any concern that I previously felt replaced with anger.

“Who the fuck are you with?” I shout, rushing downstairs slipping my shoes on as i grab my keys, her desperate pleas for me to forgive her filling my ears

“Val where the fuck are you” i fire another question her way despite her dodging every one prior. I get in the car as she ends the call.

“Fuck” i shout slamming my hands against the wheel, i pull up her location and begin to drive, my jaw clenches as the sound of the guys voice begins to fill my thoughts giving me a headache.

I pull up outside the house, multicolored lights shining from the windows as people empty the contents of the stomachs onto the lawn i cringe before entering, the overbearing smell of sweat, weed and alcohol filling my nose, i push and shove through the sea of bodies trying to find val, the music amplifying the ever-growing headache. I stop when I finally see her. My eyes rake up her body as I take in her disheveled appearance, sweat lining her hairline, her dress hiked up her legs as her hands clutch the guy in front of her. I grit my teeth, any hope of this being a misunderstanding diminishes immediately. I walk over before grabbing her off of him, she spins around her eyes meeting mine.

Valerie’s POV -

I move my hips in time to the deafening music, as i try and forget about what i had done moments ago, i close my eyes as i run my hands up and down the strangers body, wishing it was Tom, but i had to go and fuck up a perfectly good relationship. I’m brought back to reality as I feel someone pull me off his body, I spin around my eyes meeting a familiar set of brown ones, it takes a second to register alcohol still very prominent in my bloodstream. I bite my lip, guilt flooding me.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!” Tom shouts, his eyes burning holes into me.

The man i was dancing with now decides to step in

“I think you should calm down bro”

I wince at his attempt to soothe the conflict, I wait anxiously for Tom’s reply.

“And I think you should fuck off before i break your fucking hands” Tom says his demeanour now eerily calm.

The guy's eyes widen at the threat before he retreats in a random direction. I muster up some courage to meet Tom's eyes again, the brown in his eyes masked by his pupil as anger courses through him. He turns around keeping ahold of my arm, as we file through the bodies, i can’t help but acknowledge the growing ache between my legs, i know its wrong, i shouldnt be turned on by his fury but i cant help it, the way his jaw clenches everytime he catches a glimpse of me, the way his fingers flex, making sure he doesnt lose me in the crowd has me weak in the knees, we finally make it to the exit, the cold air hitting me like a brick, sobering me up and the severity of the situation hits me and i feel sick to my stomach, i fucking cheated on him, the man i promised i loved with my whole heart for a lousy fuck, but i dont have time to question my actions because he pulls me into the back of the car with him.

“I gave everything to you, and this is what you turn around and do?” He spits vehemently.

“I’m sorry im so fucking sorry Tom” I blub tears threatening to fall again.

“Tell me, did he have all that you wanted for you to go and break your promise?” Tom taunts, the answer already known as he moves closer.

He places his hand against my flushed face, his rings burning into my flesh, his thumbs running against my plump bottom lip, pulling down and releasing watching as it recoils back into place. He moves even closer placing a kiss on my jaw, i hum in approval, tilting my head allowing him more access, he litters a few my kisses along my neck surely leaving marks before he pulls back to whisper in my ear

“I wanna know, does he fuck you like i did” his hot breath coating my skin in goosebumps. I whine shaking my head

“No, no-one can fuck me like you” i say desperate for him to do more, as i feel the ache between my legs grow impossibly more.

“Are you sure? Because I will happily leave you to go and find him” he questions his hands now rubbing up and down my exposed thighs. I shuddered, grinding against the leather seat, wanting to feel even the smallest amount of pleasure. Tom spots this recognising my arousal he looks back at me, quirking his eyebrow at my desperation.

“Or have you finally realized he won't touch you like me?” his head dips back down to my neck, licking a strip from my collarbone to the top of my neck.

“Please Tom” i whimper

“Please what?” He asks wanting to draw more out of me

“Please- fuck just touch me” i beg as i try to pull him closer

He pushes his hand further up my thigh as he reaches my soaked core. I buck against him.

“You’re such a fucking slut for me hmm”

I nod rapidly bucking against his once more as he traces faint circles against my clit, my eyes rolls as i let out a sinful moan when i feel him pull my soaked panties to the side pushing two of his slender fingers inside of me curling them rubbing them perfectly against my g-spot.

“Did it feel this good when he did it?” Tom asks speeding up his actions, his palm now hitting my clit in perfect harmony, my eyes threatening to roll again the knot in my stomach growing rapidly, whines falling from my mouth relentlessly

“Fucking answer me” he snarls

“No- fuck no one can make me feel as good as you can” i moan as my toes curl, as i feel my climax near rapidly.

“Fuck Tom, im gonna-” a moan cuts me off as my legs begin to shake my whole body trembling in pleasure.

“Cum for me, show me how good i make you feel”

That's all it takes my orgasm hitting my like a train, as white floods my vision and my back arching my chest hitting Toms as he nips at my neck he continues his actions for a couple moments more before removing his long digits from within me before placing them in my mouth.

“Suck”

I stare into his eyes as i run my tongue over his fingers cringing slightly at the taste i pull back with a slight pop before his hand finds my throat squeezing slightly, and for the first time this night my lips finally meet his, our tongues swirling against each others, any emotion we were unable to convey now coming to life, fury evident in his every action as he dominates the kiss, he pulls away, lips swollen, red and gleaming with a mix of our saliva

He pushes me so I'm flat against the seat before flipping me over onto my stomach pulling my ass against his erection, he groans as he feels my bare core grind against his clothed dick. I look over my shoulder as he strips himself from the waist down, freeing his hard-on, rolling a condom over his length. All i can do is watch in anticipation my thighs clenching involuntarily before he lines up his tip against my sopping entrance and then without any warning he begins to thrust into me and at a inhuman pace, ripping a groan from Toms throat as my walls wrap around him, his tip kissing my cervix causes my head to drop, the sound of our moans and skin colliding filling the car.

“Such a fucking whore f’me” each word punctuated with a hard thrust, his hand wrapping around my hair pulling it into a makeshift ponytail lifting my head as his hips piston against mine. I feel my stomach clench in pleasure, my moans growing in volume as he begins to go even harder the grip on my hair sure to leave my scalp tender later but as of right now i'm in paradise

“Im close” i whine

“Come on, be a good girl and cum for me” he grunts as i clench around him, his pace faltering slightly as his own release nears and with one last thrust i come undone my juices soaking his latex covered shaft, causing Tom to finish alongside me his hips stuttering as he fills the condom. He pulls out slowly before dressing himself again. I sit up making myself look somewhat presentable, and turn to face him ready to address the catalyst of this event, but he stands outside the car door moving to say ‘get out’.

“Tom, I'm sorry, we can fix-” I began hoping we might be able to figure this out.

“There’s nothing to fix, goodbye Valerie.” he cuts me off his expression ice cold

My face drops as I take in his words.

“What- well what the fuck was that!” I gesture between us

“That was a gentle reminder that no ones gonna love you like me”

.

.

.

.

AHHH! Well I hope you liked it because this took far too long and please excuse any errors I may have missed but yeah 😭

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Hello! I like your TF2 headcannons alot, what kind of song's do you think they would listen to? I have no idea if this has been asked or if there are canon answers, but I'd really like your take on it if ever! <33

What's Songs Do The TF2 Mercs Like?

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LOVE THIS. Thank you for your ask! This hasn't been requested yet, so I'm so excited to write it. I'm not sure if there's canon music taste and favorite songs either, but we can just ignore the Canon lmao. Also, mutual appreciation! Thanks for being a mutual 💖

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Also, it's totally not based on songs I've listened to or like, not at all. Completely unbiased. I'm going to give their top 3 favorite songs and why those are the top 3! I hope you like this, and I didn't go too far of the original ask 😭

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Demo -

1. Escape (The Piña Colada Song) Rupert Holmes. They find it funny in an endearing way. He likes the idea of love fading only to reconnect. (Does he choose to ignore the fact that they were both trying to cheat)

2. First - Cold World Kids. The second he heard this song, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He just thinks about every relationship he's lost and how unfairly he must have treated people and just ugh.

3. Problems - Mother Mother. He feels like a disgrace to people he cares about and people he loves. He listens to this music to make himself feel worse, but don't worry the other mercs always try and turn him to cheerful music when he's like that, but sometimes he genuinely likes Problems and First just from a liking music perspective.

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Engie -

1. 9 to 5 - Dolly Parton. Engie is the number one Dolly Parton fan. He's head of the fan club. Speak ill of her, and you'll never speak again. He can also just relate so well with a girl boss, because he is a girl boss.

2. Black Betty - Ram Jam. He loves uptempo songs to work to. He finds he works faster with them. I just think he thinks this song is so great for work.

3. Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich. This man. I wanted to be a cowboy so badly growing up! Let's him feel like a cowboy and just a fun song that he really likes playing. (For a while, he didn't know what the implications were. It was super fun when the other mercs caught him singing it and then having the meaning explained to him.)

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Heavy -

1. You're My Best Friend - Queen. He wants to be everyone's friend so bad! He wants someone to listen to this song and think of him. He just wants to be a good friend above all else. (He is! He just doesn't think so.)

2. Count On Me - Bruno Mars. Much like above, he wants to be a friend. He wants to be seen as dependable and caring. Scared he doesn't come off that way!

3. I'm Still Standing - Elton John. Resilient fighting, man! This is his hype song. It especially helps him after a bad match. It helps him remember that he does a lot to help carry the team and he shouldn't be so hard on himself.

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Medic -

1. Body - Mother Mother.

I never really touched on this in my previous headcanons but I think Medic also has some body dysmorphia. It's just not as bad as spys. I also think this man has vivid intrusive thoughts. I feel like this song for him is most of the things he thinks about put into words he doesn't have.

2. Are You Satisfied - MARINA. This. Man. Has. Never. Felt. Good. Enough. He's always set his own expectations of what he should be so high that he can never do anything but fall short. He also feels a lot of pressure from the other mercs and is always scared of disappointing them. He loves to hear someone else sing of the feelings he has.

3. The Dismemberment Song - Blue Kid. I had to throw this in. It was either of this or The Red Means I Love You. He loves both. He thinks their really good inspiration songs to go into surgery humming. Be afraid if this man comes at you while this tune is playing.

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Scout -

1. Get It Up -Mindless Self Indulgence. I don't know why but this song just feels like Scout is singing it. Like I genuinely think that he fucking wrote this song 😭 Likes the beat and the way the singer sounds more than the lyrics themselves.

2. Everywhere I Go - Hollywood Undead. See above. No, but genuinely he loves this song. Gives him such confidence for no reason. Makes him feel so cool. I do think he hasnt done anything like this. Yeah, he drinks,but he's never acted like the song. He just lives vicariously through it. Likes the lyrics more than the song in this case.

3. Without Me - Eminem. He wanted to be Eminem so bad! He wanted to be that controversial white boy who could rap. I think all of his favorite songs are just any white man's favorite song ever. He actually does good rapping the song without lyrics. You'd think it be embarrassing but it's actually not, somehow.

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Sniper -

1. Read Between The Lines - Tom Cardy. Come on, how is he not supposed to love this song. It fits him so perfectly. I definitely feel like he loves this song because he always feels like people should know how to understand him even though he isn't giving them anything to work with.

2. Ballroom Blitz - Sweet. He likes the beat and tempo of this song more than anything. He also likes the entire vibe of the song if that makes sense. He can also imagine "being the man in the back," an imaginary scenario king if you will.

3. Another One Bites The Dust - Queen. Took all my restraint not to make every song a Queen song. Had to keep reminding myself I could make a post for that on its own lmao. No one can convince me that this song doesn't play in his head when he gets a good kill. One time, just for fun, he tried to sync with the claps and was super successful.

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Spy -

1. Money, Money, Money - ABBA. I know this man is like probably 50 or something and has a son and whatever, but sometimes I forget that and think he's a 30 year old classy woman from the 1920s. So, in my mind, he likes ABBA. Likes Money, Money, Money though because he likes the idea of a rags to riches heist plot (that's what I imagine when I hear this song anyway)

2. Royals- Lorde. This man wants to be royalty so bad. He tries to be so classy and dignified, which is funny because you'd think he'd want to be as mundane as possible, but that's neither here nor there. I definitely feel like this song just makes him feel fancy.

3. Vous Le Voulez - ABBA. Yes, I did hc Spy as having two ABBA songs in his top three. No, I will not apologize. This man has definitely killed this song. And! He also dance fought to this song. (Think that one scene in Jumanji, the one with the Rock.)

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Soilder -

1. Party in The U.S.A - Miley Cyrus. I mean, can you really blame me for adding this one? I already added it to shitpost canon!

2. Cherry Pie - Warrant. Dad song! This is such a dad song, just like he's such a dad! This man just reminds me of any middle-aged white dad who grills and drinks beer. And I get that so much when I hear this song. So I'd think he'd like a dad song:)

3. Dragula- Rob Zombie. THIS MAN CAN YELL. He loves to sing (scream?) this song! It's a good song to start with, and the fact that he can have a fun time yelling and singing makes him happy!

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Pyro -

1. drop pop candy - reol, giga. I have this headcanon I never touched on for some reason. Pyro knows every human language that exists. So they love listening to music in other languages!They actually really like how sweet the music sounds in contrast to the actual lyrics.

2. My Axe - Insane Clown Posse. PYRO. IS. A. JUGGALO. 100%! You can't convince me that they haven't painted their mask to look like juggalo fave paint. Definitely would play this song in their head during a match. They just replace axe with fire or something similar.

3. Buttercup - Jack Stauber. They like most of Jack Staubers' music! They really like the different soft sounds and low tone music.

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Okay. I'm posting this hoping everything works! I've had to start this over 5 times and I am exhausted 😭

I loved this prompt, but I swear to god I got such back writers block halfway through just finding the songs they'd like. I'm really sorry if this turned out to be bad. I'm going to go sleep for the years.

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Soldier headcanons tomorrow!

[lintwriting]

"Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart" and "Love Like You": The Poetry of Envy

by Mitski and Rebecca Sugar respectively

"Comparison is the thief of joy," and "Of all the seven deadly sins, only Envy is no fun at all." In the moment, envy is all the pain of humbled pride and none of its glamor, with only schadenfreude as a reprieve.

But what if you sat with that envy and accepted the humbling, instead of praying for someone else's downfall?

What if you grew to love that which you envied? What if they loved you back? What if you humbled yourself and matured past that petty need?

Well, there's pain in that, too.

Mitski and Rebecca Sugar know it well. They approach it from completely different angles, but it's surprising how closely they match in conclusion: There's a special kind of drama in the pain of disappointing someone you think is better than you.

(And behind it all is self-hatred.)

Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski

This song is an apology for ever failing to appreciate someone (or cheating on them), and as you listen to each verse, Mitski is singing in real time on how she's learning to humble herself.

Unlike the soulful croons of Bruno Mars's "When I Was Your Man," which is an ode to the break-up regret caused by feeling lonely again, like he's begging to come back now that he's seen you with someone else, Mitski's verse is less a reaction to her own loneliness and more self-flagellation, like we're listening to a therapy session wherein she explains why she treated you wrong in the first place.

Maybe this is why Miley Cyrus wrote a girlboss anthem ("I can buy my own flowers") in response to Bruno ("I should've bought you flowers") and not Mitski ("You can see how it's blossomed for you")/s.

To tell this story, Mitski uses repeating refrains to contextualize the previous, recreating the experience of maturing enough to see your past mistakes and taking advantage of the structure of songs.

The most important repeated line within the song is "There's nobody better than you."

It opens the song, is directed at her ex-lover, and it contradictorily sounds like she's questioning their worth.

Because that is a BOLD statement.

Really Mitski? There's nobody? Nobody at all better than 'you?'

Mitski admits to this boldness with the next line: "It took me a while 'til I knew."

That there is what she's apologizing for—a failure to appreciate them. A microcosm of the song in the first two lines.

Her mistake is direct contrast with her lover, who "knew from the start it was us, didn't you?"

This is how Mitski characterizes what makes her lover the best.

The undisputed number one person whom no one can be "better than" is simply someone who had faith in 'us,' in Mitski.

All the while Mitski makes excuses: "It just took me a while 'till I knew"

The ambiguity of the phrase is useful. Not “took too long” but just “a while.” 

“Just” is also an excusatory statement. I just forgot. I just didn’t notice. Just protects pride. This is a prideful thing to say, to be in the position to judge someone (and failing to judge them correctly)

Skipping to the chorus, the refrain is:

And I don't blame you

If you want to bury me in your memory

The first time you hear this, it's Mitski describing the pain of understanding why someone would want to forget you.

I'm not the girl I ought to be, but

"Ought" is doing a lot of the heavy lifting, implying a failure to do good.

Maybe when you tell your friends

You can tell them what you saw in me

And not how I turned out to be

This ‘saw in me’ transforms "bury me in your memory" from a line about forgetting Mitski to a line about only keeping alive the memory of what Mitski could’ve been—her lover's idealized version of her. 

In effect, she wants to kill and bury that part of herself that failed to justify her lover's faith in her, the part that disappointed them. Self-hatred!

Thus, "ought to be" and "not how I turned out to be" become lines about failing to meet their expectations. This last line is the one that changes meaningfully with each refrain, recontextualizing the previous. In the next chorus, she sings:

And not the way I am

Instead of "not how I turned out to be."

With "Turned out to be" in the past tense and "I am" in the present tense, the changing of lines indicate a progression of time.

Not only a progression of time, but growth over that time as well, since "I am" creates the sense that Mitski is actively accepting that she was at fault for the break-up, while "turned out to be" created the sense that she was distancing herself from that before through its passive voice.

With the introduction of "I am," she demonstrates, in comparison, how much "turned out to be" protected her pride, recreating the experience of maturing enough to see the past clearly.

In the last chorus, she sings:

But could we be what we're meant to be?

I'm just about to beg you, please

And then, when you tell your friends

You can tell them what you saw in me

And not the way I used to be

With the last refrain of the chorus, she's begging to come back and be the couple her lover believed in, but it's to demonstrate that she's changed for the better, not just because she's lonely or jealous.

This is because the focus is on how, instead of "way I am," it's "way I used to be." She's recontextualizing herself as having matured, once again, past her previous mindset.

In this case, she's saying it'll be different this time because she's buried who she "used to be," or the self that didn't appreciate them as she should've. And she proves it with the last line that bookends the song:

'Cause there is nobody better than you

In effect, the whole song is a thesis on why there really is "nobody better than you," and THAT in itself proves that she's changed! It's a song about the lowering of herself and her pride, of recognizing that they're better than her, and of recognizing the pain of having disappointed them because of how much better they are.

Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar

One of the best parts about this song is the way it truly works as an ED song to Steven Universe. It, in effect, is the theme of the whole show, and therefore it works to embody the ...theme of the whole show, which is the transformative power of love.

This song can basically represent the relationship between any two characters in the show in BOTH directions—Rose Quartz and Greg Universe, Greg and Steven, Steven and the Gems, Steven and The Diamonds, etc. And it's such a poignant message as well, managing to create depth with nuances like how self-hatred affects your ability to love, the importance of connection in healing from trauma, and even the limiting nature of only having one perspective—again, all those being themes within the show itself.

Video by Let's Talk Cartoons that talks about this theory that it's about Rose. This theory is right, but misses the point that EVERYONE deals with this in the show lol not just Rose.

If I could begin to be

Half of what you think of me

These two lines are a microcosm of the song, as Mitski's first two lines were, and, like Mitski's song, it's about the disappointment of someone who has faith in you. Someone better than you, as implied by the next two lines.

I could do about anything

I could not put this any better than Rebecca Sugar has already put it, which is characteristic of good poetry!

They think of you so highly that achieving even half of their expectations would be hanging the damn moon! What I'd like to bring your attention to is that it's the same characterization that Mitski used for her lover—part of what makes them so amazing is simply how much faith they put in you!

Within Steven Universe, everybody has had experiences with betrayal of trust and the resulting fear of ever putting your faith in someone again. So this kind of earth-shattering faith can seem naive, but doing so with full knowledge of its pain reveals a kind of invulnerability and confidence that would make someone seem someone god-like, hence your idolization of them.

I could even learn how to love

This line is the one that gets recontextualized over the course of the song, like Mitski's "There's nobody better than you." The idea that someone loves poorly or can't love, though I will say, is beautiful and relatable.

The next refrain of it:

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

"Like you" is the magic phrase!

Because while they have a god-like faith in others, being on the receiving end of it—that's buoying, too! Much like people have "faith" in god, your idolization of them represents your own earth-shattering faith in the opposite direction! It's a mutual idolization! You're loving "like them." It's a faith that spurs you to do better in return!

But better than what? That's where the verse comes in:

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'Cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you

Comparison is the thief of joy, and unfortunately you've compared yourself to them and found you don't measure up. You're using your faith in them for your own self-deprecation. But, this is tempered by the next lines.

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special

The last one is a conflict resolving line. It reveals that this painful, comparison-based self-hatred isn't just something you're doing, but something they could be doing as well, as it highlights that the faith is mutual. That although you think they're special, they think you are, too!

And therefore that—since you're so alike—that they could also be struggling with the pain of thinking they're not enough. It's this mutual aspect that makes this song sing, why it works so well to connect basically all the characters of the show in any combination.

This is further supported by the next refrain:

I would do about anything

I would even learn how to love

When I see the way you look

Shaken by how long it took

I could even learn how to love like you

The fact that the "Love like you" refrain follows this "mutual" revelation then implies that loving IS truly "seeing" them by seeing yourself in them, and the way this relationship/self-hatred/revelation is mirrored on this other side.

You're both shaken by how long this took!

Love like you

Love me like you

And this line is the natural end of this line of thought. You can't learn to love without loving yourself first, but being loved and loving in return can teach you how to love yourself. You can learn how to love yourself by following their lead.

But also-- in this song, to love someone else means you see yourself in them—and therefore you learn to love the part of you that's in them.

Comparative Analysis

Mitski's "nobody better than you" and "took me a while 'till I knew" and Sugar's "nothing like you" and "love like you" are repeated throughout the song as symbols of their object of envy.

They're better than you because of their faith in you, in contrast to your own disappointment in yourself. To reach their level, you have to learn to have faith, either in them (Mitski) or yourself (Rebecca Sugar).

There are slight differences. While in Sugar's version, their faith in you helps you respect yourself, Mitski's is about learning to reciprocate her lover's faith to restore her faith in herself, as she's starting the song from a place of unfaithfulness and regret. Her self-hatred is less self-destructive and more a motivator to improve. In Sugar's song, the threat of disappointment/unfaithfulness looms in the background, but the singer didn't actually disappoint. Or if they did, their 'idol' is strong enough to still have faith in them, in spite of that.

In the end, it's a healing of envy, of the sin of comparing yourself to others. Because the answer isn't taking them down, or stewing in your own self-hatred, it's learning to accept yourself where you're at.

Whether it's by embracing your flaws and improving, or loving the part of you that you see in them.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

You Are My Queen Now | Part 11

Word Count: 21k

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Growing up as a child of a minor lord, you had it instilled in you since a young age that you needed to find yourself a rich and affluent husband that would not only provide a comfortable life for you, but would also help further your family’s position in the court. So it was of the utmost importance that you remain a virgin in order to land such a coveted husband.

The problem lies when the man you secretly love, Prince Beomgyu, suddenly and unabashedly propositions you.

Warnings: highly inaccurate portrayal of a trial, mentions of candies that shouldn’t have existed back then, inaccurate portrayal of old dances, basically just think of this as occurring in a fantasy land lmao, hints at forced abortion, blowjobs, semi-public sex, riding/doggy/mating press, dry humping, orgasm denial, degradation, sub!gyu, dom!gyu, sub!oc, dom!oc, breeding kink, graphic-ish description of death, extremely unhealthy relationship dynamics, manipulative characters, mentions of and justifications of rape and blaming someone for their own rape, cheating, cumming in mouth, idk what else.

A/N: i recommend listening to the song gyu sings for oc at the end so here it is. Also as always this moodboard by my dear anon sets the mood for the story and helps you imagine it better.

Ryujin’s trial is a public and highly messy affair, held inside the city’s main temple in order to accommodate not only the nobility attending, but also a large number of common folk who flocked to see the spectacle that is the queen’s disgrace. 

You know that Beomgyu orchestrated it this way so that he can deal maximum damage to Ryujin’s name and reputation by having the public directly witness her trial and the crimes she’s being accused of committing, but it’s also a huge risk to take on his part because it might inadvertently smear his own name in the public’s eye if she successfully defends herself.

Well, perhaps that’s not the appropriate expression. She will never be able to defend herself against the jury Beomgyu has picked out for her. They’re all his peers and loyal subjects. Their verdict is as good as decided already. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t sway the general public, no matter how unlikely it is, before she is to hang. 

So why is he doing this? Why not go for a private trial? 

You know that Beomgyu orchestrated it this way so that he can deal maximum damage to Ryujin’s name and reputation by having the public directly witness her trial and the crimes she’s being accused of committing, but it’s also a huge risk to take on his part because it might inadvertently smear his own name in the public’s eye if she successfully defends herself.

Well, perhaps that’s not the appropriate expression. She will never be able to defend herself against the jury Beomgyu has picked out for her. They’re all his peers and loyal subjects. Their verdict is as good as decided already. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t sway the general public, no matter how unlikely it is, before she is to hang. 

So why is he doing this? Why not go for a private trial? 

You pull yourself out of your internal deliberation to watch Beomgyu herald the beginning of the trial from your seat, hidden away up on one of the balconies overlooking the scene below.  

“My good people, we are gathered here today to unravel the schemes and betrayal that have been taking place in the palace behind your back. I know you've heard many rumors, some in my favor and some denouncing me, and they’re making you feel uneasy and unsafe. Vicious rumors that I killed my own family members, that I am a mad man, that we’re on the brink of war. I couldn’t reveal anything sooner as the picture wasn’t fully clear yet, even to me, but now the truth is finally out and I am ready to reveal it all to you. I now stand here before you, allowing you to witness the trial of my own wife so you can discern the truth from the wicked lies for yourself. I have nothing to hide and I place my trust fully in the hands of the judge, the high priest, my loyal citizens, and, above all, the gods, knowing that only the truth shall prevail." 

You can see that the people present were already captivated by the charismatic and handsome young king. He has long been heralded for his kindness and generosity. Nothing bad was ever said about him amongst the people. On the contrary, unlike his private and reserved older brother, Beomgyu was always seen as the more approachable prince, the one with a heart of gold, and he was widely adored for it. Therefore it comes as no surprise that the common people were already on his side, quiet murmurs of approval and support already cutting through the silence that follows his grand opening.

Beomgyu then turns to the judge and bows to him. “Go on, good sir, please proceed.” 

The judge reads out what Ryujin is being charged with to everyone in the courtroom–treason, adultery and murder. The case laid out against her is that she, along with her lover Lord Soobin, and with the help of her father and traitors from inside this very kingdom, conspired to kill the king and the crown prince in order to claim the throne for herself and the son she planned to have with Beomgyu before getting rid of him too by pinning his father’s and brother’s death on him, getting him executed and successfully ascending to the throne using his heir. 

It’s almost exactly what she really did–except she had no role in the king’s and Yeonjun’s death– so it shouldn’t be too hard to pin the charges on her. 

The crowd buzzes with excitement following the revelation, like a hornet’s nest alive with morbid curiosity, eager to devour the accused queen alive with their judgment as the scandalous trial unfolds. You suspect most of them don’t really care about the truth. They just want something juicy to latch onto and gossip about in order to entertain themselves and forget the misery of their own grim lives as they watch someone else’s misfortune play out. They don’t care about seeing Ryujin go down–she was never loved in the kingdom anyway, only seen as the foreigner wife to the kind king Beomgyu, and he made sure to keep it that way, probably so he can pull something like this off later if he needed to.

But Ryujin, of course, refuses to go down easily, and she contests her charges when she gets the chance to defend herself.

She takes the stand with her head held high, an aura of confidence about her that you personally admire, but suspect may work against her in the eyes of the unforgiving public who may only see it as arrogance that adds insult to injury from the treacherous and promiscuous wife of their beloved king. 

"I didn’t kill the king or the crown prince. I never was unfaithful or treacherous towards my husband but he was. He is the one who did all the despicable things he’s accusing me of. He did it all and orchestrated this whole trial so he can get rid of me and be with her…”

The crowd breaks out in a heated discussion amongst themselves that only quiets down when the judge slams his hammer down to silence the ocean of murmurs, before he turns back to the queen. 

“And who is she?” He asks the question that is on most people’s tongue. 

Ryujin looks up into the balconies, and you cower in your seat even though you know she can’t possibly see you from down there. “The wife of lord Kang Taehyun."

The wife of lord Kang Taehyun, that's what you are, isn't it? You've promised yourself to him in front of gods and men and yet here you hide in Beomgyu's bed. 

“Care to elaborate, my child.” The priest leans forward, appearing intrigued to hear what she has to say about the king’s alleged infidelity and familicide. But it’s all for show, you know he must already be in cohorts with Beomgyu. 

Ryujin struggles to hold in her sneer but dares not speak personally against the man who holds the highest religious position in the kingdom, and therefore the public’s full support and respect, or the people will never listen to another word she says. 

“He has been obsessed with her ever since they were children. He wanted to be with her but couldn’t because he was already betrothed to me and so he kept her locked up in the palace and kept any man from approaching her so that she would have no one but him and let him do whatever he wanted to her. And for years his plan worked, until lord Taehyun came along and took her from him. She fell for him and he helped her escape. That is why he killed his father and brother–because they wouldn’t help him get her back, and once they were gone, he started working on his plan to get rid of me and lord Taehyun so he could finally be with her. He poisoned me so I’d lose our child and he sent his own sister to lord Taehyun’s castle to threaten him to hand her over or he’ll wage war against him. That is how he got her back, but he was never planning on letting him or I live. He needs us gone so he can be with her.”

The loud exclamations that burst out from the crowd at Ryujin’s flagrant story sound purposeful this time, knowing, and you wonder why that is. You look to Wonyoung who is sitting right next to you for an explanation, and she leans in to whisper in your ear. 

“Lord Taehyun has been going around telling people that Beomgyu stole you from him and is keeping you hostage at the palace because he’s obsessed with you and that’s why he killed father and brother.” 

Oh. 

So to everyone hearing this, it just seems like confirmation for what Taehyun has been saying.  Though it's curious how she said that Taehyun claimed Beomgyu is keeping you hostage rather than you escaping. Is that to protect your reputation or to protect his?

Once again you wonder why Beomgyu is doing this. This isn’t looking good for him if both your husband and his wife are saying the same thing. 

“But do not think that she is blameless. She encouraged his insanity from the start, reveled in it even. She wanted him too, but wasn’t content with just being his mistress. She wanted my place, wanted to be his wife, and I know she is here today to watch this farce of a trial so she can see me fall.” 

Everyone starts looking for you, scouring the temple to try to find you, even if they didn’t even know what you looked like. And just as irrationally, you cower again, wanting nothing but to run away from all of this. You didn’t want this. It’s not true what she’s saying. Yes, you love Beomgyu with all your heart, but it was never your intention to hurt her or Taehyun. 

Once again, the judge slams his hammer down, repeatedly this time, to get people to calm down. 

“Enough!” He shouts loudly, finally getting people to keep quiet, before he turns to Beomgyu. "My king, do you have anything to say against these grave accusations?"

"These are nothing but vile lies that she and the traitor have cooked up. That lady she is so disgustingly slandering has been nothing but a close and loyal friend to my family, her only crime being that she's the one who unveiled their schemes." Beomgyu speaks to the crowd instead of the judge, addressing them with an even and strong aura, as if he couldn’t be more sure of a thing in his entire life, so confident that you almost believe him yourself. And the crowd in turn is hanging onto his every word with bated breath, as if following a particularly suspenseful play, and on his part, Beomgyu drums it up for them. “Yes, that’s right. The lady testified privately that she was forced to give secret details about the castle to her husband, lord Taehyun, and that he provided his own men to help Ryujin kill my father and brother, in exchange for marrying his younger brother to my precious little sister, Wonyoung. They wanted to get rid of us so they could rule the kingdom in our place.” 

Beomgyu pauses in order for the crowd to digest his wild declarations. You don’t know who has a harder time receiving his claims–the crowd who are hearing these tales of betrayal and treason for the first time, or you who know they are highly embellished. 

You feel a hand wrap around your own and you look to the side to see wonyoung giving you a warning look. You must’ve looked like you’re about to bolt from your seat and say something if her next words are any indication. "If you make a scene, if you say anything right now, you'll be putting his life in jeopardy."

So this is why he did it. He wanted to set not only Ryujin up, but also Taehyun, and he wanted to make you sit there and go along with it because he knew that if he gave you a head’s up, you could’ve thought about it enough and opposed him. But now you can’t even deny it without risking his life. 

He is forcing you to go along with his loathsome plans, the fucking devil. 

“Is it true that my sister went to his castle to take her friend back to the palace? Yes, but that was based on her request.”

Upon your request? You wanted to give your marriage a try! You were making progress with Taehyun before Beomgyu ruined everything! And now he’s standing in front of a crowd, brazenly claiming that it was your own idea and that Taehyun was the one who began this war?

You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry, but you can’t even do either. You have to bottle everything up so that you won’t give him away. He’s so fucking cruel to do this to you. 

“She couldn’t just stand by and let that despicable man who calls himself her husband hurt us. She wanted to save us, and so she sent for us in secret, warning us of their dishonorable schemes and risking her life in the process in order to protect us. But we could have never let her take the fall for us, that is not how we repay loyalty in my family. We had to get her to safety, and so my dear sister so bravely volunteered to go right into the lion’s den and get her herself, and by the grace of the gods, they both returned to me safely. I don’t even want to imagine what he would’ve done to her had we not gotten her out of there in time, and I will not stand here and let this treacherous woman try to twist our friend’s courageous act into something so base and deplorable.” Beomgyu spits out, tugging on the heartstrings of those present with his false heroic tale about you. 

“My good people, you know me and you know the man she is aligning herself with–a man who has long been suspected of murdering his own father. Only someone like him could think of such a diabolical story in which I kill my own family just to steal another man’s wife. Who would do that? I loved my father and brother so much. It would be cheap of me to stand here and try to sell you on my love for them and how much their deaths have devastated me and my dear sister and mother. Only the gods will know how I truly felt when I lost them.”

At this moment, he lets his voice waver strategically, making the crowd swoon over the strong but grieving young king so cruelly and falsely accused of the most heinous, outrageous crimes. 

“Even our poor baby, she lies about–the child that never even saw the light of day, the one beautiful thing that came out of our loveless marriage. She accuses me of deliberately hurting it when it was the gods who saw fit to not have an innocent soul be born into such an ugly circumstance.”

“Don’t you dare stand there and try to deny it when you know you’re the one who killed our baby.” Ryujin growls at him.

And so, Beomgyu and Ryujin go back and forth, each giving their manipulated side of the story to try to sway the masses, but it's clear who the winner is. 

Ryujin’s tale, although almost completely factual, sounds too fantastical to believe. The kind and handsome prince they all knew is secretly a psychopathic murderer who is so obsessed with a woman that he is willing to kill his own family and risk a civil war just so he could have her? It sounded too ridiculous to be true. It was far more likely that a foreign queen and a notoriously cruel lord conspired together to get rid of the royal family and rule in their place. 

“I have heard enough.” The judge speaks up at length, silencing them both. “Do either of you have anyone who could corroborate your claims?” 

“I do, good sir.” 

Beomgyu brings out a few people to testify against his wife, most from his entourage, but a couple, surprisingly, from Ryujin’s own people. Beomgyu must’ve paid them a hefty price for their cooperation… or threatened them with severe punishment if they refused. Probably both. 

They all gave condemning testimony, claiming to have either overhead or had direct conversations with the queen where she discussed her malicious plans. 

Not a single person stood in her defense. 

Still, none of it was shocking–Beomgyu’s money and influence can do the most egregious things–at least until you saw a certain someone take the stand. 

“Identify yourself.” The judge orders the tall man. 

“I am lord Soobin Choi, a member of Queen Ryujin’s guards…” He pauses for a second to look around the room nervously before he takes a shaky breath and continues, “And her secret lover and co-conspirator.” 

It takes some time to quiet the room down after that. 

Lord Soobin confirms all the accusations raised against the queen. He confesses to having had an affair with her and to scheming to murder the king and crown prince, and then blaming it on Beomgyu and getting him executed. 

For the first time during the entirety of the trial, Ryujin seemed actually affected. She must’ve known Beomgyu would pin everything on her, known that he would rig the whole thing against her and call on false witnesses, but you suppose she hadn’t expected her own lover to testify against her. Soobin must’ve gotten a reduced sentence or even a pardon from Beomgyu for his role in this. 

You recall Ryujin calling Soobin spineless, that he’s the type of man who would throw you away in order to preserve himself. She turned out to be right, didn’t she? So why did she look so hurt? She must’ve held more affection for him than even she thought she did after all. 

Can you blame her? She had no one but him, and he’s sending her to the gallows to protect himself. You know what that’s like, trusting in the wrong man.

“There are no good men, darling. Only the lesser of two evils, and Beomgyu is that.”

That’s what she once said to you. At least Beomgyu is willing to put his life in danger in order to keep you safe, in order to give you what you want. Yes, he’s evil but he would burn this kingdom to the ground if it meant he could have you and protect you. 

But will you let him? Will you allow him to kill the one man who gave you a chance at freedom when he didn’t have to just so you can get your happily ever after?

_______________________________________

“You set him up.” You scream at Beomgyu as soon as you’re finally back in your chambers and alone. You haven’t been able to talk to him all day as he’s been busy with the aftermath of the first day of Ryujin’s trial and you’ve been sitting, more or less, alone, stewing in your anger and bitterness, and not allowed to interact with anyone except Wonyoung so you wouldn’t say anything stupid. And even Wonyoung didn’t talk to you much. She just stayed vague and elusive, telling you to wait until you can talk to Beomgyu directly. 

“I did what I had to do.” He says, pulling you back to the time he made that same excuse to justify taking you against your will. He is always saying that when he forces you to do something. He had to. Like he didn’t have any choice in it either, like you and him are in the same boat. 

You scoff resentfully. “You were never planning on letting him stay alive.” 

“Of course not,” He answers reflexively like he was waiting for the moment he could stop pretending, denial nowhere to be found as if you were stupid for believing it could go any other way. Yes, you were stupid. You came back thinking you could stop Taehyun from attacking Beomgyu. You pledged yourself to Beomgyu thinking you could stop him from setting Taehyun up. 

Exactly, stupid. 

“But neither did he. He’s been gathering his army from the moment you left. I warned him so many times to back down but he refused. He is the one who started this war. He’s been telling people that I kidnapped you, that I killed my father and brother to get you. He was never going to give up until one of us is dead.” Beomgyu gestures wildly, getting heated. “The question is, if one of us had to go down, which one would you rather it be?” 

“Neither.” Your reply only irks Beomgyu more. “You can’t do that anymore! You have to make a choice. You can’t just stick your fingers in your ears and act like an oblivious child. It’s either me or him.” 

“I don’t want either of you to get hurt.” You remain stubborn, elevating Beomgyu’s exasperation to new levels. “But one of us will. You realize that right? One of us isn’t going to come out of this alive.”

You tear up at the idea. You love them both and you don’t wish to see either of them get hurt. You’ve been doing everything available to you to prevent that from happening but they seem hellbent on killing each other. 

“You have to choose, and don’t give me that fake sympathy shit. You want what I’m giving you. You want my love and my riches. That’s what you really came back for.” He accuses and you shake your head, crying. “You were fine letting me sacrifice her for you but now that it’s time for you to do the same, that’s it’s your bastard who has to go, now you’re upset, now you pretend that you care?”

"I do care!" You scream, “He doesn’t deserve this.”

Beomgyu doesn’t seem convinced by your answer. “Then why didn’t you speak up in court?” He asks and you freeze, which makes him laugh triumphantly, “Why didn’t you deny it, huh? You could’ve said something. You could’ve thrown out my whole case right then and there but you didn’t. Why didn’t–” 

“To protect you!” You wail, hitting his chest, hot tears gushing down your face. “You knew I would never speak up against you, you bastard. That’s why you did it!” 

Beomgyu allows himself to soften at that. “I wanted to protect you too. He doesn’t only want to kill me. He wants to kill you too.”

“You expect me to believe you after what you just did?” 

“So don’t believe me.” He scoffs, pulling something out of his pocket and brandishing it in the air for you to see. “Believe him.” 

He hands you what appears to be a letter and you shakily take it from his hand. 

It’s from Taehyun. You know it is. Beomgyu must’ve gone back to his old ways and intercepted it. When did this even arrive? Are there more? 

You open the letter with trembling fingers, reading its content with equally trembling eyes. 

Are you having fun being his slut once again? I made something of you. I gave you the chance to be more than just his whore and yet you go falling back into his bed the first night you get back? 

Fuck, you’re such an idiot. 

You’ve been so preoccupied with your obsession with reclaiming Beomgyu’s love that you didn’t realize that Taehyun would have people in the palace monitoring what you’re doing and relaying it back to him. You didn’t think about how terribly he would take it, especially knowing him and his moral code. It’s the ultimate affront against him–lying with another man. That alone could make him go to war. You’re so fucking stupid. 

Even worse, you guiltily realize that you haven’t thought about him much since Beomgyu started paying attention to you again. Beomgyu was occupying your every waking moment, barely leaving you alone, and even when you were asleep, he was right there with his arms around you every single night. He simply didn’t allow any space for you to think about anyone else, and you just let him–craved it even.

God, and to think Taehyun saw how weak you are for Beomgyu.  

I was such a fool to believe in you. My brother tells me you've been fucking him long before his wedding night. If you've been selling him your body all this time, how can you not expect him to treat you like his property? Why did you even drag me into this if you were already his? Why did you lie to me and pretend that it was all forced and that you didn't intentionally sully yourself? Did you think that just because you didn't let him fuck you that that's somehow better, when you let him do everything else to you? No, you must’ve known it's the same, that's why you didn’t tell me. 

His words lash at you, breaking away the dirty skin to expose you for the harlot you are.

You feel so depraved, vile, detestable. You whored yourself out to Beomgyu so you can get the material things you wanted, and yet you unrepentantly hoped you could still manage to land a good, reliable husband who could afford you those same things you coveted. How long would it have taken for Taehyun to find out the truth? Would he have discarded you after finding out you were all used up? 

You’re really only fit to be a whore, only fit to belong to someone as fucked up as Beomgyu. You were just too stubborn to admit it earlier even though everyone else saw you for what you really are.

You talked a big game about wanting more, craving to be in charge of your life, and yet when I gave you that, you just ran back to him. Why? 

Truth is, you didn’t realize what you were asking for when you did this. Taehyun had warned you. Beomgyu had warned you. They all did. They told you that these things aren’t what they seem, but you were too stubborn. Or perhaps you thought too highly of yourself. You sought to distance yourself from the rest of the ladies by convincing yourself that you’re different from them, stronger and more resilient, but the truth is you only did that because they didn’t accept you. 

Was it to protect me? Or was it because you've been lying to yourself all this time? Was your love for me fake? My people tell me that you look happy now. They say you’re glowing again. Again… as if I dimmed your shine. Is that what you really wanted after all? Money? Luxury? An easy life? 

He’s right, isn’t he? Despite your best intentions, in the end you brought him into this mess just to go back to Beomgyu. But you swear you didn’t know that all of this would happen. You really wanted a new life. You thought things could be different if you were away from Beomgyu, that the real version of yourself–the one you saw in your mind–was different from what everyone else saw you as, different from how Beomgyu saw you, and that if you were given space and freedom to grow, you could become that person. You didn’t know that Beomgyu would go this far. You didn’t know that you were a fraud. 

But what good are your excuses now? You brought down Beomgyu’s wrath on him and now he’s stuck. He can’t back down and Beomgyu isn’t going to let him. 

I’m so fucking angry with you. You’re my wife and the fact that you’re letting him use you again when you now rightfully belong to me makes my blood boil. 

Or maybe I just can’t stand the fact that I bore myself to you. I showed you the most vulnerable parts of me that you promised you would embrace, but when you saw them, you turned away. 

Am I that ugly to you, angel, that you would run back to him to get away from me? 

No! You want to tell him. You loved him. You love him. You may have acted selfishly during your goodbye. You may continue to act selfishly now. You may be disgracefully enjoying the perks of Beomgyu’s doting ways and the leisure of palace life, but none of these are the reasons why you left. You left because you really, truly thought it would stop the war. You left to protect him. 

And to protect Beomgyu. 

I want to believe that you have a higher purpose in all of this, otherwise I could not bear to look at myself again. Otherwise I might have to hurt you. 

I wish I never met you, but I’m too intertwined in you to let go now. 

That sentence, more than anything else, is a stab in the gut for you. You cry freely at those words. It’s one thing to be hurt by someone, but to wish you never even met them? The person you promised yourself to in marriage? That requires a level of anguish and hatred that can’t be contained, so much so that you seek to distance yourself from them even in memories, even in reality itself. 

You're my wife. You're mine before gods and men, and I will have you back. You can't just run away each time you feel like you can't deal with the consequences of your actions. 

I'm gathering troops and supporters right now as you might've heard. Or maybe you didn't. He likes to keep you in the dark, doesn't he? Well, I'm coming for you, angel, and you better have a good explanation for what you've done.

The trembling in your hands spreads to your whole body at the clear threat. What will he do with you if he catches you? Who will get the worst fate, you or Beomgyu? 

Well there you go, Kai. You didn’t mess up too badly after all. Taehyun still thinks you left for Beomgyu and yet he still won't back down. If anything, it seems to spur him to retaliate more. 

This has turned into such a mess. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t let him touch a hair on your head.” Beomgyu embraces you and kisses your head lovingly. You jump in his arms. For a moment, you’d forgotten that he was even there. 

“Please.” You sob weakly, barely audible so that Beomgyu has to get close to you so he can hear you. “You have to stop this war, please.”

“I can’t. It's too late now.” He shakes his head, and vows, “But I can protect you and I will. This is for the best anyway. We can’t be together fully until they both die. I want to marry you, baby, just like you wanted. And I can't do that if either of them is alive.” 

So this is why he’s doing it. He wants to get them both out of the way so you and him can get married. 

It’s funny how a year ago you would’ve been over the moon that he’s trying so hard to find a way for you to be together, but now that your wish has come true, you’re filled with nothing but dread for the people who have to die in order for that to happen. The gods really do love their cruel games. 

"I know you’re sad now but when you can finally be my queen, you'll get over it." 

You feel nauseous. Is that what he thinks of you? That you’d gladly let Taehyun die just so you can be the queen? Is it? Is that what you are? 

At your silence, Beomgyu scoffs in disbelief. "You’re still worried for him? After what I just showed you? He wants you dead!"

"Yes." You meet his question with stubbornness yet again. "We fucked him up enough already. We did this to him."

Beomgyu laughs cruelly. "No, princess, you fucked him up. You’re the one who brought him into this mess. And you’re the one who made the poor bastard actually believe you could love him too, from the looks of it." 

"I do love him." You insist in a small voice and Beomgyu crowds you, furious that you would dare say that in front of his face. "You don’t. And you're not his either. He is right about one thing though. You should have never involved him in our business. Now look at the mess you made." He holds your face, not letting you look away from the truth. "Angel? He got you all wrong, baby. You’re no angel. That was my mistake once, and now it will be his death."

You try to shake your head. No, you’re not like that. You’re not a monster. You care about Taehyun. You do!

But Beomgyu holds your face in place, his fingers digging into your cheek painfully. “Stop denying it. I know you don’t really care about him.” 

“I do." You growl. "I love him!"

Beomgyu attacks your lips with his own. It would be wrong to call it a kiss–a kiss isn’t this angry or possessive or vengeful. It’s so overwhelming that you can do nothing but let him take what he wants, grabbing your chin and opening your mouth up to push his tongue inside. 

God, you hate him so much. He did this just to force you to choose. He revealed his betrayal in the trial just to force you to sit there and take it. He’s playing on your feelings and your love for him to manipulate you into giving him what he wants. He’s diabolical and he’s not going to stop until he accomplishes all his sordid plans. 

You have to do something or you’ll really be just as terrible as he is. You have to stop him somehow, and you may just have one trick up your sleeve that you had prepared exactly for a moment like this. 

“Good girl. Don’t think too hard. Just sit back and let me give you what you really want.” Beomgyu pushes you towards the bed and you know what he wants. Your menses has come and gone already. He wants to fuck you and, prior to today, that's all you wanted to do as well but now you just want to make him hurt. 

You gather your strength and turn the both of you around, pushing him onto the bed instead. But Beomgyu doesn’t think anything of it, grinning up at you. “Oh, you want to take control? I have to admit, I missed it.” He babbles excitedly as you straddle him. "Going to fuck me, baby? Going to finally take what's yours?"

You slap him, shocking him into silence. 

“Shut the fuck up, Beomgyu. I fucking hate you so much.” You wrap your hand around his neck tightly, making it hard for him to breathe but he doesn’t fight you off, he just lays still and grins up at you.

“I love you.” He utters gleefully, bucking his hips up against you, making you feel his erection. 

“You’re fucking sick.” You spit at him.  

“If I am sick then you must be too for wanting me.” 

That’s just what Taehyun said. You’re not comfortable with how aware Beomgyu is of how much you love him and how far you’ll let him go. Maybe if he thought he could actually face any lasting consequences for his actions, he may rethink them. But what have you done to oppose him that he wasn’t able to eventually turn around? Time and time again you fall right into his arms in the end, and everything just goes his way as always. 

Angry and feeling helpless, you slap him across the face again but, vexingly, he doesn’t lose a single inch of his grin. 

“You’re making me so hard, baby.”

"You like getting beaten up?" You mutter in disgust as if his eager reactions aren’t making you soaking wet. You really are the perfect pair–sick and rotten to the core. 

"I like anything you do to me." 

There it was again, that blind and stupid devotion, that need that you crave. But it doesn’t mean that you can't dwell on it while still punishing him. 

You remove your grip from around his neck and lean down to kiss the sensitive skin there instead. He cranes his head back to give you more space. "What do you want?" You purr to him between your kisses. 

"Want you to--ahh–" Beomgyu starts but moans out when you bite his neck. "No biting, baby. If I appear in court with marks it's going to look really bad for us."

"Yeah? Afraid they're going to know that you really killed your family and set up your wife just for my pussy?" 

"Yes, princess." He admits with not an ounce of guilt in his voice, and bucks harder against you. 

You move onto his legs so you can free his cock, wrapping your hand around it and delighting in how he melts into your touch after months of him pulling away.

"Fuck yeah." He grunts excitedly, his pupils dilated as he focuses on your every movement. 

This is the Beomgyu you know, horny and shameless. You have no idea how he managed to hold back for so long. He must’ve really resented the idea that you could be carrying Taehyun's baby to the point that he went against his nature and needs for three whole months even as you writhed and begged under his hands. 

Well, you'll take full advantage of his unleashed eagerness. 

You bend forward, letting a trial of your spit drool from your mouth down to his cock, and watch as his mouth hangs open in a silent gasp when it touches his dick. He can’t help but thrust up into your lubricated fist when you use the saliva to jerk him off, his thigh moving between your legs in the process and rubbing against your pussy. 

“That feels good, puppy?” You moan, opening your legs wide so you can better grind on him. 

“Y-yeah.. Been holding off for too long.” He laments, eyebrows furrowed as he focuses on your delicate hand fisting his big, hard cock. 

“Was it hard, baby?” You drawl suggestively, rocking your pussy over his thigh as your hand pumps up and down his cock. 

“So hard…” Fuck he looks so pathetic, it’s making you practically leak through your clothes and onto him. 

He’s so dumb, he doesn’t even realize that something is off, too focused on his dick and the fact that you’re finally touching it. And to think that he’s the one who did this to himself when you’ve been throwing yourself at him for months. 

“Poor puppy.” You pout, purposefully pulling your hand up to your mouth, directing his attention to it. He watches, slack jawed, as you slowly lick a wide stripe along the palm of it before putting it back on his cock and twisting it over the head. 

"Tell me what do you want?" You prompt and he answers mindlessly, still staring at your wet lips. "Want you to suck me off." 

"Oh, that's right. I never sucked you off, huh, puppy?” You coo sympathetically, lulling him into a false sense of security as if you weren’t baiting him for exactly this. “You know who I blew all the time though? Taehyun." You taunt him and his smug look finally falls. His eyes flash dangerously but you don’t back down. "You used to beg me to do it so much and I never did, but I was the one begging him to make me swallow his cock." 

"Shut up." He warns darkly. 

"I did it so many times, I can still taste his cock at the back of my th–"

Beomgyu jolts up and grabs you by the jaw. "Shut. Up."

"What are you going to do, Beomgyu? Rape me again?" 

He immediately takes his hand off. "No. I would never–"

"Would never take me against my will? Because you've never done it before, right? Never betrayed me? Never lied to me? Never hurt me?" You scoff and push him back down. 

"I deserve that. I hurt you and I deserve to be hurt." He whimpers, struggling to gather his words as you seat yourself over his cock. "But I don't want to hurt you anymore. I just want the world to let us be together. Don't you want that too?" 

You ignore him, your jaw set as you start grinding your pussy over his cock, and continue to rile him up. "He tasted so good, you know?" 

Tears build up in his eyes as he's forced to lie down and listen to what you’re saying. 

"Your little princess let him use my mouth like a pussy, fucking my face until he came and made me swallow." You hum salaciously, teasingly humping his cock. And the most fucked up thing is that neither one of you is losing your arousal.

"I know you're lying." He challenges your claims, but his voice wavers and you can see the way his eyes glisten with unshed tears. 

Yes, you're embellishing a lot just to hurt him more, but that doesn’t matter. He deserves it.

"This is why you're doing this, isn't it? You can't stand the fact that he touched what's yours and so you want to remove him from existence.” You confront him, “Well, you can kill him but you'll never erase what I let him do to me."

“Stop it, please.” He whines as if he’s the victim here, as if he’s helpless in all of this, as if he didn’t plan this whole thing meticulously. It pisses you off. "Why are you saying these awful things? What do you want?"

“I want to see him.” 

His eyes storm over but he remains in place. "Never."

"Let me see him and I'll let you have me exactly the way you want."

He shakes his head firmly. "I'll let you see his severed head when I bring it home to you."

You slap him again, his face now red from the hits, and the first trail of tears breaks free from his lashes. 

You grab his cock and use the head of it to rub your clit, making him let out little stuttered gasps. “You like this, don’t you, you little pervert? Like watching me use you to get off?”

Sliding his cock along your slit, you dip the head of it into your hole slightly every once in a while, making him lose his mind. His hips tremble but he doesn’t dare push up. “Please.” 

“Take me to him and I’ll let you fuck me. I won’t say no to you again.” 

His hands slide up your thighs to your hips. “That's what you said before.”

“You lied to me before. You hurt him again.” 

“And I’ll hurt him again and again, what’s different this time?” 

“This time I know that you’re a liar.” You sneer, “I just want to see him one more time. One more time and I’ll be completely yours.” 

He pauses in contemplation, then says, “There is something you’re not telling me. Why do you really want to see him?” 

You snort, trying to hide how sweaty and nervous you are right now. “Just like you always are? You don’t need to trust me, you just need to do it, and you’ll get everything you want. I’ll let you do anything to me.” You take the head of his cock inside your pussy, almost making him go cross-eyed, before taking it out. 

“Will you let me put a baby in you?” He sucks in a sharp breath. 

“Whatever you want.” 

“Will you testify against him in front of everyone?” 

You freeze. 

He doesn’t need you to testify against Taehyun for Ryujin to be convicted. He just wants to make Taehyun look worse in front of the public, and most importantly, he wants Taehyun to turn on you completely so you can’t possibly ever go back to him. 

It doesn't matter, with what you have in mind, you won’t be able to anyway. For once in your life you need to not be selfish. 

“I will.” You grit out. “Just let me see him.” 

You can still see the hesitation on his face but the prospect of what he has to gain if he follows along seems too great for him to refuse. “Fine.” 

You don’t let him think about it long. “Good boy.” You praise. “I love you so much.” 

The words flow from your mouth and seep into his body like a drug, making his muscles relax and his eyelids flutter down. “I love you too.” 

“Don’t cum, okay?” You tell him, moving over his dick once again. You should at least get your relief. You deserve it.

"But I need it." He groans, his hands moving up your body to grab at your tits. You arch into his touch, reaching a hand behind you to grab his balls. "You do, don't you? You’re so full. You must be dying to empty yourself inside me." 

He nods pathetically, playing with your tits as he buck up into you hard. "Please, please. Just put it in."

“No. You had many chances to fuck me, made me fucking beg you to do it and still you refused.” You growl at the whimpering man. 

“You were being punished.”

“And now so are you. You know, I still can’t believe you actually pulled it off. Knowing you, I expected you to break just a week in. Who knew a sick pervert like you could actually hold himself back.” You demean him. “Tell me, were you getting your rocks off somewhere else?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head harshly at your implication. “No!” 

“Why not? It’s not like you never did it before.” You spit out in jealousy, referring to him sleeping with Ryujin.

His jaw tightens. “Did you expect me to just content myself with humping your pillows while you’re out there getting fucked by him?”

His tone was dark and husky, defensive and angry, but you disregard it completely, choosing to focus on what he unintentionally revealed. “Humping my pillows? Is that something you used to do?” 

His cheeks bloom with a vivid red, only realizing what he’d said when you called him out on it. 

You laugh cruelly. “Fuck, you really used to hump my pillows, didn’t you, you little pervert.”

“I couldn’t help it!” He groans, looking away. “You just made me so needy. I would get hard just by being near you, just by smelling your hair or feeling you touch my hand… you drove me wild with just an innocent look so I-I…” 

“You what?” You press again, wanting to hear him say it, and he squeezes his eyes shut even if he wasn’t looking at you. 

"I… I would sometimes take one of your dresses, lay it on a pillow and grind against it imagining I was fucking you until I came."

“Is that why my dresses used to go missing all the time, only to show up mysteriously later with weird stains on them?” You gasp and Beomgyu winces. "You used them to get off? That’s disgusting.”

"As if you didn’t play with your pussy thinking of me.” He shoots back defiantly and you slap him. 

“Why am I even surprised anymore? You've always violated me and my trust. I thought you were just protecting me when in reality you were lusting after me like a dog. Of course you couldn't trust anyone when you knew there were men out there like you." You scoff, indignation and arousal fighting to take the reins, and you grab his hands and put them on your ass. “Come on then, grind against me like you loved to do so much, you disgusting horny mutt.”

He whimpers but obeys, eagerly humping you. 

"Pathetic." You sneer, trying not to let your eyes roll to the back of your skull as his cock keeps rubbing against your clit. 

He's so pretty like this, completely debasing himself just for you. He's not hiding even his most twisted desires from you and he eagerly seeks to hear yours. It's safe letting the ugly side of you out in front of him. He'll lap it up and beg for more. 

God, you want him more than anything in this world. You want his love and his sickness. No one could make you feel as wanted as he does, and you covet that despite how destructive it is. This is why you must do something before he has you spiraling out of control. 

"Open your mouth, tongue out." You demand and he does, looking entirely too obscene. If someone would walk in on you now, they’d be shocked to see the way the king is acting for you. He’ll do anything for you. You’re struck by how powerful it makes you feel, more powerful than you ever felt with Taehyun. It's enthralling, exhilarating, addictive. 

You spit in his mouth. "Swallow."

He does without question, his eyes darkening even more and growing more hazy, and you sneer down at him cruelly. “You’re just a dumb dog, aren’t you?” 

“I’m whatever you want me to be, princess.” He proclaims earnestly. “Please, I’m so close.”

"Don't you dare cum." You warn him. "You haven't earned it yet." 

"I'm trying to. Please, I'm trying so hard." He cries, his movements growing desperate as his hips snap under you. You look down to see his dick gliding easy between your slick lips, the top part of it red and leaking. 

You dig your fingers into his shoulder and arch your back as you look back up at him. You’re so fucking close. “Don’t fucking cum, Beomgyu.” 

"Please, pl-ah-ease!" He whines deliriously, tears clinging to his pretty lashes once again. 

"No." You snarl one last time before the pleasure explodes to your entire body, making you gasp as you tremble over him, your pussy drenching his cock that still tries to rut against you. 

He whines as you peel his hands off you and pull away from his twitching cock.

"Please… please." He hiccups pathetically but you don't soften, grabbing his cock and stuffing it back in his pants, wet and still painfully hard. 

“No, please fuck me.” He begs breathlessly. 

You shake your head. “When you keep your promise. I'll let you fuck me to your heart's content once you give me what I want.” 

He sobs but doesn't make any move to disobey you, only wrapping his arms around you and clinging to you when you lay down next to him. 

“I love you.” He says helplessly, looking at you like you hold his life in your hand. "I'll do anything for you, you know that, right?"

"I know, darling." 

I know you’ll do anything to have me. I know you’ll do anything except let me go. 

_______________________

The meeting is set up at the mansion of Lord Seojun, a well-respected and trusted lord who currently isn’t partial to neither Beomgyu nor Taehyun. His estate is the perfect neutral zone to have this meeting. 

The way there was tense. Beomgyu kept trying to coax the real reason you want to meet Taehyun out of you or trying to discourage you from going on with the meeting all-together, telling you it isn’t too late to get back to the safety of the castle. 

It stressed you out. You were already nervous enough about facing your estranged husband following the harsh letter he sent you and the accusations swirling around. You didn’t need pressure from Beomgyu too–who, as you got closer and closer to the meeting place, inched closer and closer towards you in the carriage until he had you practically seated on his lap. 

You let him do what he wants, there was no one else inside with you and it seemed to calm his fidgeting slightly. But when his hands started wandering and his mouth began laying kisses and bites on your neck, you had to get off him. 

“No, Beomgyu.” You refuse him sternly. You appearing at the meeting place disheveled and covering in love bites will just make things ten times worse, whether from Taehyun who won’t take kindly to his wife showing up covered in the evidence of her lover, or lord Seojun who might just change his stance upon taking a look at you like that. “Calm down.”

“You didn’t tell him no when you let him fuck your mouth.” He bites at you and you know he’s been pissed about it ever since you’ve told him. “I want it too. I want you to go into that meeting with the taste of my cock on your tongue. Only then will I calm the fuck down.” 

You scoff at him. Men and their fragile egos. 

You weigh your options. It’s your reflexive reaction to deny him. This is neither the time nor the place for this. You should be focused on what you’re going to say to Taehyun and how you’re going to say it to him without Beomgyu listening in. But in order to do that, you have to make Beomgyu feel more at ease, like there is nothing for him to worry about. If you give him what he wants and make him feel less jealous, it would lessen the chance of him doing something stupid when he sees Taehyun. 

Reluctantly, you get on your knees and he eagerly spreads his legs for you to sit between them. You pause when your hands are on his pants. “You’ll behave once we get there?” 

“Yes.” He answers breathlessly but it doesn’t even look like he heard what you said, too focused on your hands that unfasten his pants and pull out his cock. 

You open your mouth, your tongue prodding out to lick the head of his cock meekly. He’s bigger than Taehyun, and you don’t know how you’re going to take him in. Besides, the way he was sitting above you, emanating power, his face clearly showing how much he wants to eat you up, was intimidating. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t appreciate your hesitance, and he grabs you by the hair. “Don’t tease.” 

He is not going to be kind about this. He must’ve been stewing in rage ever since you provoked him about sucking Taehyun’s dick. 

You stare up at him demurely as you open your mouth, allowing him to slip his length inside. You do your best to suck on him but the problem soon becomes clear once he pushes your head down and his dick hits the back of your throat, making you gag and pull away. 

He looks at you in confusion. "I thought you said he trained your mouth." 

You scowl at him. “He didn’t train me. Unlike you, he didn’t treat me like a whore.” 

“No? His letter seemed to say otherwise.” Beomgyu cocks his head to the side, clearly goading you. “Besides, I want to make you a queen. You’re the one who wants to remain a whore.”

God, you want to slap him again, but you don’t. He’s just trying to get back at you because he’s jealous. You can shut him up another way more effectively and without sabotaging your mission. Leaning forward, you take his cock in your mouth again, taking in bit by bit and doing your best not to overwhelm yourself. 

You try to wrap your hands around the parts you can’t take but Beomgyu grabs them and holds them in the air above your head. "No. Just your mouth." 

You make a sound of annoyance but that only makes Beomgyu shiver in pleasure and buck his hips up, enjoying the way the vibrations felt on his cock. “Take more. Wanna see my cock stuffed all the way down your pretty throat.” 

How the hell you’re going to do that you don’t know, but you’re eager to not just shut him up, but to also have him turn into the needy, pathetic version of himself you so adore, and so you take in more and more of his length, bopping your head down until you feel him again at the back of your throat. This time you’re prepared for it, however, and you manage to shove in more than the last time. You even start to think that you might actually succeed in taking him but then his hips abruptly buck up and you gag once more. 

You pull away, coughing and trying to clear your throat. 

“What is it, baby? Can’t take me?” Beomgyu asks with faux sympathy, keeping your wrists locked in one hand while using the other to stroke your hair. "Either you were lying about blowing him or he just wasn't big enough."

“Don’t be crude, Beomgyu.” You glare at him and he grins widely. “So I am bigger than him, huh?” 

You try to get up but he uses his hold on you to keep you down. “No. Stay down.” He growls, pushing you back on your ass. He sighs and runs his thumb over your already inflamed lips. “I’ll teach you how to take my cock. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do anyway.”

“Was that another one of your perverted fantasies?” You snark, but it doesn’t work because Beomgyu isn’t the least bit ashamed about it, and he turns it on you. “Of course, princess, always knew you’d look prettiest with your lips wrapped around my cock.” 

You try to fight off your blush but you can still feel the heat creeping up on your cheek. Beomgyu coos and taps your lips with his cock. “Come on, open up.” 

You give him a small pout but relent, allowing him to push the first part of his dick inside. He’s much softer now that you’ve unintentionally stroked his ego. 

“That’s good. You’re doing good.” He encourages you, pupils dilated at the salacious sight in front of him. “Why don’t you move your tongue a little bit, yeah? Swirl it around the head like it's one of those candies you like to suck on so much…yeah like that, you little tease.” He moans out, making you blush even more. 

Is that another way you had unintentionally riled him up? Fuck, is that why he would always bring you those exotice sweets from faraway lands and handfeed them to you? That nasty pervert. 

“Now take a little bit more. Open wide and push your tongue down so my cock can fit in your little mouth. Good princess.” He praises you, forcing more of his cock inside until it reaches your throat. “Now try to relax your throat, don’t fight it–no, don’t pull back. You can do it.  It’s okay, princess.”

He doesn’t push you too much but he doesn’t let you pull back either, keeping one hand at the back of your head and letting his cock breach your throat before pulling it out and pushing in again, getting you used to the sensation. 

“Fuck, you’re doing so good for me. You’re my perfect princess.” He grunts, wrapping the loose ends of your hair that is starting to unravel around his fist in order to better control your movements. “Now take in a little bit more–it’s okay, baby. You can do it.” 

You start whining when the sensation becomes uncomfortable again and you feel yourself gagging around him, but he doesn’t let you go, keeping your head on his cock and forcing you to become acquainted with the uncomfortable feeling. "Stay. I was so good to you these past few months, eating you out and fingering you till you screamed. It's time you return the favor. Make your king feel good, my little brat." 

Only when your hands come up to grab at his thighs does he finally let you go. 

You sputter and cough, trying to clear your throat before you shoot him a glare. “You were choking me.” 

“That’s just how you do it properly, princess.” He explains innocently, and you almost believe his good intentions if not for what he says next. “Besides, didn’t you say you’re used to choking on his cock. Or were you lying just to make me jealous?” 

You don’t give him an answer and he scoffs. “Such a brat.” 

He pulls your head back to his cock and pushes in more easily this time, quickly going back to where he was. “Breathe through your nose. Don’t try to fight it.” He instructs firmly, “Open your mouth wider, princess, and relax your throat.” 

He presses your head down more, and your throat burns as it’s forced to take in his thick length. 

“Good girl.” Beomgyu groans, voice starting to get tight. “You’re making me feel so good.” 

He moves you up and down on his length and you do your best to breathe through your nose and fight back the gagging, but it seems like the less you gag, the more he pushes forward. He would make you take more of him until your throat is fluttering around his cock, then he’d pause with his cock buried there as you gag around him. “Baby, you don’t know how amazing this feels. It’s better than I even imagined it would be.” 

You whine in embarrassment as the coughing and gagging has you unintentionally slobbering around him, making a mess that dribbles down your chin and onto his pants, but when he lets you off his dick and you go to wipe your chin off, he stops you. “Don’t. I like seeing you like this, love knowing I’m the one to ruin my perfect princess.” He purrs, pulling your head closer to his cock again all too soon, prompting you to keep going. 

He bops your head up and down, moving you to his own pace, and you try to put every bit of advice he gave you to good use so you wouldn’t choke. Soon, even more spit and precum dribble out of your mouth, making an absolute mess of you and him, but Beomgyu just loves it. 

"Look at me, princess." He whines and you blink the tears away to try to focus on him but it doesn’t matter. He just wants your eyes on him while he fucks your face. 

"Going to cum. Keep it in your mouth." He orders, pulling his dick out until your lips are wrapped around the tip only, and he uses his hand to jerk himself off. His cock twitches and you feel his hot seed sputtering in your mouth, urging you to swallow but you obediently keep it there. 

Once he's done, he pulls his cock the rest of the way out. "Stick your tongue out. Show me."

You do, and he watches in rapture as some of his seed drips from your tongue onto the carriage floor. He will never get tired of seeing his cum in or on you, will he? 

When you see his spent cock twitch, you quickly pull your tongue back inside and swallow, not wanting him to get hard again, snapping Beomgyu out of his trance. 

"Why did you do that?" He asks irritably, clearly upset at you for interrupting his view. 

You roll your eyes, getting up. "I'm not going to get you off again." 

You clean the both of you up as much as you can before putting your hair together in what you hope resembles a proper enough hairdo. 

You keep him at bay the rest of the way there and before you finally exit the carriage, you turn to him, “For god’s sake Beomgyu, please behave in front of everyone.” 

Beomgyu’s scowl tells you that he doesn’t exactly appreciate your demand, but before he can say anything, you’re getting out of the carriage. 

______________________________

Every step you take towards the main hall, where you’re informed Taehyun and lord Seojun are already waiting for you, feels like walking towards your own doom, and maybe it is. Beomgyu’s words start playing between your ears, getting louder and louder with every step. 

It’s not too late to turn back. Let’s just go home and forget all about this, hide beneath the covers and stay safe in each other’s arms. You don’t need to do whatever it is you think you need to do. I’ll–

Before you know it, you’re standing in front of the heavy, ornate doors. 

Beomgyu says something to you, but you can’t really hear him because of the ringing in your ears. So you look at him, seeing the pleading expression on his face and how his hand is reaching out towards you. 

You don’t need to do this. 

But before you can reach out to take his hand, the doors open and you snap your head around to look inside, your frightened eyes somehow managing to find Taehyun’s own mismatched ones as if his one black eye was a magnet.  

You stand rooted in place, breath caught in your lungs and heart skipping a few beats.

Taehyun’s expression doesn’t give away much, leaving you to imagine the worst. From his letter you know he’s feeling angry, betrayed, vengeful. He probably wants nothing but to have you shackled up and shipped back to his castle to answer for what you did to him. 

“My king.” You hear someone call out. It’s probably lord Seojun, but you don’t dare tear your eyes away from Taehyun’s to confirm. 

It’s only when you feel someone’s hand on your lower back, immediately shifting Taehyun’s gaze from yours down to the person who dared touch you, can you break the spell and finally look away from him, turning your attention to the same person who touched you. 

“We can still leave.” Beomgyu whispers to you and you shake your head. “Why are you being stubborn? Look at you. You’re trembling, baby.”

He moves to take you in his arms but you quickly step away, throwing a nervous glance at Taehyun who seemed to be emanating a cold fury at what he’s witnessing. Yes, he was perfectly aware of what was happening back at the palace, but to have to stand here and see it for himself is probably too much to take, and you don’t want to enrage him any further. You want this meeting to go as quickly and with as little bloodshed as possible. 

“Don’t, Beomgyu, please. Let me just get this over with.” 

“Are you done?” Taehyun growls out, and you can feel the heat of his rage from all the way over here. “Or did you call this meeting just to make me watch this nauseating scene?” 

“Believe me, I don’t want to see your ugly face as much as you don’t want to see me. I’m only doing this for her. I would have been perfectly fine only seeing you when they dragged your dead body before me after your defeat.” Beomgyu speaks arrogantly and Taehyun laughs. “You think you can beat me? You? The frail Choi son who couldn’t once best his older brother except when he cravenly slit his throat while he slept?” 

Beomgyu’s haughty smile falls and his muscles lock up as he prepares to lunge at Taehyun but you quickly hold him back. “Stop it, Beomgyu! Both of you, stop it!” 

Taehyun regards you callously, his one good eye just as cold as his false one. “You may boss that maniac around but you do not give me orders, woman.”

Woman? He’s speaking to you as if you were a stranger, as if you mean nothing to him. You suppose it’s better than what he probably would rather call you, what everyone else calls you. 

“Don’t talk to her that way.” Beomgyu snarls but you hold onto him tightly.  

“Beomgyu, stay. Let me talk to him alone.” You whisper to him but he shakes his head. “No.” 

You lean closer to him so only he can hear you. “Come on, Beomgyu, we had a deal. Anything you want after, just let me talk to him.” 

He throws a hateful look towards Taehyun, obviously not happy with what’s happening, before he looks back at you and pulls you into a sudden kiss. Your hands shoot up to his chest, trying to push him away but his own hands hold onto you, one grabbing the back of your head and the other squeezing your ass. 

“My lord, this is not proper.” Lord Seojun’s reprimand makes you flush with humiliation, reminding you that you have more than one witness to Beomgyu’s mortifying display of ownership over you. 

“I can still taste my cock on your tongue, princess.” Beomgyu says loudly enough for Taehyun to hear before finally letting you pull away, ignoring your incensed look in favor of smirking at Taehyun. You follow his gaze to find that Taehyun looks to be seconds away from exploding. 

For Beomgyu, it was not enough to have you back, to have you promise to give yourself to him completely. No, he wants Taehyun to see how he has desecrated you. He wants him to know that your ruins belong completely to him. 

“Fucking stay here.” You grit out at Beomgyu, your outrage giving you the strength you need to make your way towards Taehyun without trembling anymore. 

“Is this what you left me for? Just to go back to being treated like a piece of meat?” Taehyun denounces in disgust once you’re standing in front of him. 

“It’s not like that–”

“Is it not?” He snaps, cutting you off. 

“No, it’s not. She’s going to be my queen.” Beomgyu interjects and you whirl your head back to yell at him. “Shut up, Beomgyu.” You hiss, throwing a pointed glance at Lord Seojun, goosebumps rising at the back of your neck as Taehyun laughs. 

“Yeah, that is why you’ve set up your wife and are now trying to kill me, isn’t it?” 

Beomgyu attempts to open his mouth again to argue but you send him a withering glare that finally shuts him up. 

“This is not the time for your bickering. We’re here for a reason.”

“And what is that reason?” Taehyun asks you hatefully. 

You grind your teeth and curl your hands into fists, trying to muster up more strength so you wouldn’t crumble in front of him. “I have something to tell you. Hear me out then you won’t have to see my face again.” 

“It’s not about what you or I want. It’s about what should be done and that is that you should come back with me.” 

You sigh. Typical Taehyun. “Just hear me out, okay?”

He bites his tongue and thankfully goes quiet, allowing you to lean close to him to whisper something in his ear. 

“What are you doing?” You hear Beomgyu yell but luckily what you have to tell Taehyun doesn’t take long and soon enough you’re pulling away. 

Taehyun has a shocked look on his face. He clearly wasn’t expecting what you just said.

��Do with that as you may.” You say defeatedly. 

“Why are you telling me this?” He narrows his eyes, shock and disbelief still prominent in his expression and you shrug weakly. 

“You’re right about what you said to me in your letter. I should have never involved you in any of this. He is my curse to bear and I was selfish for sharing him with the world.” You whisper to him quietly, simply. You can’t elaborate much further, not with Beomgyu and lord Seojun there. 

Taehyun’s expression softens ever so slightly, and you know he’s about to say something stupid. “I didn’t–”

“Yes, you did.” You shut him down, laughing painfully. “So don’t you dare go soft on me now.” 

But Taehyun can’t share your light-heartedness, no matter how fake it is. "You don’t have to go down with him. Come back with me." 

“To what end? So you can imprison or kill me for my infidelity?” You ask tiredly. He’s not making any sense. You guess you can’t blame him. He’s properly still reeling from what you revealed to him. 

Taehyun’s jaw clenches and he looks away, not giving you an answer. You didn't expect one anyway.  He's just being emotional.

It’s a funny thing to use to describe the cold lord but it is what it is. He doesn’t know what he’s asking. It would do neither of you any good to go back with him, least of all him. His court would never respect him again if he takes back a woman they all know is being accused of sleeping with another man while married to him. 

He won’t look at you the same. He barely even showed you any tendril of affection when you were together. You can’t imagine how distant and suspicious he’d be now, even if he miraculously decided to forgive you. 

There is no going back for either of you. 

You shake your head and look back at Beomgyu wistfully. He’s the only person in this world who will take you as you are, rotten and selfish and unworthy as you are. The only one who would look into your putrid soul and not flinch. “I am his, now and always.” 

You move to back away but Taehyun reaches his hand out to grab your wrist, and suddenly chaos breaks out. 

Beomgyu, seeing him grab you, launches at him. Taehyun prepares to take him, but before they could clash, you intervene, stepping in line of Beomgyu’s punch, making him lose his footing as he swerves to avoid you. You use the way he becomes unsteady on his feet to push him down to the floor face first, quickly straddling him and pulling his arm behind his back. 

“Let me go.” He shouts, thrashing around, and you’re forced to twist his arm painfully to get him to stop. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Taehyun inching closer.

“Stay back!” You yell at him, and he freezes in place. You think you can almost see a hint of pride in his surprised expression, but you don’t look at him long enough to confirm, quickly turning your attention back to the still-struggling Beomgyu. 

“Stop it, Beomgyu!” You plead with him. “Let’s just go home, please. I want to go home.” 

“Fine, let me go then.” Beomgyu growls back but you don’t do it yet. “Are you going to attack him if I let you go?” 

He goes quiet and you sigh, leaning down to whisper in his ear, “Don’t be stupid, baby. I’m all yours now. I promise. All yours.” 

That seems to calm him down a bit so you continue. “I miss you, baby. Don’t you miss me too?” 

“Yes.” He breathes out, starting to relax.   

“Okay, I’m going to let you go now and we’re going to get out of here and go back home. I’m going to do what you want and we’re going to be together. Okay, baby?” You plead, and he nods, right cheek rubbing against the floor. “Okay.” 

You finally let him go and he keeps his word, getting up and dusting off his clothes. “Come on.” He grabs your hand, throwing one last dirty glance at Taehyun before he drags you behind him towards the door. 

“Wait!” Taehyun shouts and you look back to see lord Seojun holding him back and shaking his head. “Let them go, son.” 

____________________

When you get back to the palace, you’re surprised to see that Beomgyu takes you to the throne room instead of back to your chambers. 

He orders the guards to not let anyone in and only lets go of you once you’re at the foot of the stairs leading up to the throne itself. You stand back and watch as he goes up to take his seat there. 

You know what he wants even without the hungry look on his face. "Come closer." 

You obey. He has given you what you wanted, now it’s time to give him what he wants, what you both want. You’ve done your part. All you can do now is sit back and hope for the best. You can never go back anyway. It’s time to give in, to stop fighting. 

"Get on your knees." He rasps once you’re standing in front of him. You kneel down and watch as he undoes his pants and takes out his cock that has been hard the whole ride back home, placing it against your cheek. “This is where a whore belongs, love.”

He bites down on his lip as he smears precum over your face and you stay still, letting him get his anger out. When he’s satisfied with having messed you up, he presses the head of his dick against your lips. "Open up." 

You take him in without a fight but he still grabs the back of your head and pushes it down his cock roughly. He wasn’t going to be gentle this time. He’s angry and you’ve stretched his patience thin. You’re honestly surprised he hasn’t gone completely off the rails yet. 

You try to heed everything he’s taught you last time–open your mouth wide, stick your tongue out to give his cock more space and to stimulate the sensitive underside, breathe through your nose, don’t fight it…

You do your best but there is no helping the way your throat contracts around his length or the hot tears that sting your eyes as he fucks your face ruthlessly. You really try your best, but soon you can’t breathe and you start getting light headed. 

You raise your hands to his thighs and peer up at him in a silent plea to let you breathe.

“Take it, you little slut.” He grunts, and you whine around his length and dig your nails into his thighs. “God, it drives me crazy when you whine. Makes me want to put my dumb brat in her place.” 

You whine even more–whether to please him or as an involuntary reaction to practically choking on his cock, you don’t know. But despite your dimming vision and your lungs screaming at you, there is not a tinge of fear inside you. You know Beomgyu will not let you pass out. 

And you’re right because a moment later, he pulls you off his length and gives you a moment to heave in some breaths. 

“My pretty slut.” He coos, tugging on your hair so you’re looking up at him, and brushes his thumb over your swollen lips. “Did you let him see you like this?” 

You shake your head as much as you can while he still holds you by the head. 

“No?” He cocks his head to the side. “He wasn’t so mean?” 

You shake your head again. 

“Then he’s a fool. My little princess needs some disciplining every once in a while, doesn’t she?” He asks mockingly, and when you don’t respond, he moves your head forcefully as if you were nodding.  

He lets go of your face and guides his cock to your mouth again. “Come on, show me how much you regret being a slut and letting another man fuck your whore mouth.” 

He was being so mean and unfair. It’s not like you went out and fucked random men. Taehyun is your husband. But that didn’t matter to Beomgyu. In his mind, you are his, and you being with any other man is a clear betrayal on your part. 

You suppose you’re no different though. 

It still isn’t any easier to take his cock–your throat still burns as it’s forced open by his rough thrusts, you still gag and drool around him, air still hardly reaches your lungs. And in a way, Beomgyu enjoys that immensely. He’s letting out all kinds of moans, gasps, curses, and sharp praise as he bucks his hips into your pliant mouth. 

You can hardly believe it when your nose hits his belly. But it’s too much. You really can’t breathe now. But he keeps your head down, his cock firmly stuffed down your throat. 

He wraps his hand around your neck, feeling his cock inside, and murmurs to you. "Look at me." 

You do, eyes watery and face a mess of tears and saliva. You’re not the one being touched but you swear you could cum just from the look on his face. You’re on your knees, with tears and drool dripping from your face, but somehow you don’t feel weak or powerless, not when he looks this fucked out above you–lids fluttering over his bleary eyes and mouth open in heavy pants as if he’s the one who can’t breathe. He looks entirely gone and you love it. 

“Fuck, I’m going to cum.” He quickly pulls you off and wraps a hand around the base of his cock tightly, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to staunch off his orgasm. 

You both take some time to catch your breath. You stay quiet, wiping your face with your sleeve as you watch him calm down a bit. You think he can’t look at you because if he does, he might just cum on the spot. You smile thinking about it. You’ll have to mess with him later. 

When he finally opens his eyes, he beckons for you to stand up. He turns you around then places you on his lap with your legs folded on either side of him. 

“Now this is where a queen belongs.” He murmurs, still a little breathless as he kisses your neck and his large hands come up to palm your breasts through your clothes. “You wanted a rich and powerful man, right? Well, who is more rich or powerful than I am?”

With you facing the door like this, you’re suddenly aware that someone could walk in at any moment–even though you know they wouldn’t dare–and you express your concern to Beomgyu.

"I don't care. Let them see who I really belong to." He says caressly. Once again, he makes you feel powerful despite the compromising position. “I fucking despise that you let him defile you like that when you know you’re mine.” 

He rips your bodice down to expose your breasts, his fingers pulling on your nipples, and you yelp, arching your back into his chest as a fresh wave of arousal drenches your already uncomfortably wet pussy. 

"You're so sensitive here, princess." He groans, his slender fingers flicking your nipples teasingly, making you grind down on his thighs to try to chase more pleasure. "That's it, baby, grind your pussy on me, make a mess for me."

"Beomgyu, please." You beg, not for anything in particular, just for him to give you more than he's giving you. 

But Beomgyu is not done being angry. "Tell me, baby. Did he play with your tits like this?" He grunts, suddenly groping your breasts roughly. 

"No.” You shake your head vigorously, “Only you, puppy.” 

“Good girl.” He hums, kissing your neck, his touch growing gentler, still needy and possessive, but not as rough. “God, I want to mark up your pretty skin all red and blue so everyone will know that you belong to me and not that bastard.” 

You feel his teeth graze against your skin, making you shiver. You wish he would so you wouldn’t have to stand in court and testify against Taehyun, but Beomgyu is too petty to let that happen, and he contents himself with pressing his plump lips against your skin in feather-light kisses. 

“But it’s okay, they will all know soon enough.”

You find yourself shivering again at the ominous vow, but your focus is quickly drawn elsewhere when one of Beomgyu’s hands leaves your breast and moves down to grab at your thigh close to where you need him the most. 

His hand stays there for a while, kneading the flesh there while his other hand plays with your breasts, until you can’t help but start whining, your arousal leaving a large wet spot on his pants. “Beomgyu, please, do something.” 

"Do what, baby?” He teases, fingers ghosting over your slick lips. “Want me to touch your pussy?" 

"Yes!" You heave, pushing your pussy into his hand. You hear him chuckle as he allows you, running his fingers between your lips a few times.  

"Did me fucking your face get you this wet?" Beomgyu spreads your lips apart, letting your arousal drip down lewdly as your poor pussy clenches around nothing. 

“Please fuck me, Beomgyu, I can’t take anymore.” You almost weep, the burning desire smoldering in your belly too much to take. You nearly double over when he suddenly presses two fingers inside you and spreads them apart. 

“Fuck.” He grunts, his own hips bucking up in need. "Don't even need to prepare you for my cock." 

"No, puppy, just take me. I want it." You plead, letting him push your body forward so he can prod his cock at your entrance. 

"Ready, baby? Ready to be my queen?" His hand grabs fistfuls of your ass as he waits for your response, the other holding onto your tattered dress so you wouldn’t fall off. 

Is this how all queens are treated? Their clothes ripped apart as they get fucked on the throne?

You don't really care. Everything Beomgyu has ever given you was wrong but it felt good anyways. "Yes, my king."

He pulls you back to sit on his cock, knocking the breath right out of your lungs. You've fucked Taehyun multiple times but Beomgyu still stretches you out, almost painfully.

"God, you're as tight as ever. I guess I could rest easy knowing he never gave it to you right.” Beomgyu boasts, moving you up and down his cock slowly. “My baby likes a big cock to fuck her dumb." 

Not to prove his point, but you can’t really say anything right now. You’re doing your best not to split apart on his cock. God, how did you even take him last time? It is too much, too much, but you love it anyway. He’s right. You want him to fuck you stupid. You don’t want to think anymore. You just want him to take you and take care of you. 

Beomgyu has one hand bunched up in your clothes to keep you moving over his cock and the other snaked around your waist and playing with your pussy, his fingers relentless as they rub circles over your clit in order to get you to loosen up and take him more easily. 

“You’re being such a good girl for me, trying so hard to take me in that tight little pussy of yours, huh?” Beomgyu praises you fondly, and you nod dumbly. He is stretching you so much you feel like you're going to explode. "Gonna make you my queen, baby. Gonna give you everything you ever wished for." You feel a weight being placed on top of your head and through the haze of arousal and pain, you vaguely register it being his crown. "You want it?"

"Yes." You sob, feeling like your body has turned to molten need that only he could manipulate and put back into shape. "I'll take everything you give me." 

He ruined you so completely, rotted you up from the inside, made you his long before you even realized it. What power do you have to resist him? 

"God you always know just what to say to drive me crazy." He growls, removing his hand from between your legs and using both of them to grab your hips as he simultaneously moves you over him and fucks you from underneath. 

You feel like a dumb doll, the way he’s bouncing you up and down on his cock so hard that the throne room around you looks out of focus as it fills up with the sound of slapping skin. You think you’re drooling on yourself and your moans sound incoherent to your own ears but you don’t care. You feel so incredibly lewd and entirely his. Only he could do this to you because you're his to do with whatever he wants. 

"Gonna cum." He grunts, and grabs you by the hair, pushing you off the seat. The crown clangs to the floor as he pushes you on your hands and knees, pressing your head and torso down to the floor with your ass in the air as he drapes his body over yours and slides into you again. "Mine. Always been mine. Want to cum inside you. Want to breed you like a good queen." He grunts as he ruts into you wildly. "Do you want my baby?"

"Yes. Do whatever you want with me, my king. I’m yours." You slur out. It comes so easy to you to accept him. It feels good to be utterly claimed by someone. Wonyoung was right. You don’t have to fight anymore. You don't have to beg for love. He will take care of you. He will love you. You just have to let him. 

"Fuck, I love you so much." He moans out, cumming inside you and filling you up with his warm seed. 

Perhaps you should be more cautious about that. Perhaps it’s not the best idea to risk a pregnancy right now when all eyes are on you. But at this particular moment in time, with him caging you under him and filling you up to the brim, you can think of nothing but him and what he wants and the life you had dreamt up together. And even if your mind wants to protest, your body relinquishes everything to him, your pussy cumming around his cock and milking every last drop of cum he has to give you.  

You’re so boneless and fucked out by now, that you’re glad when he flips you onto your back and lays you down. You don’t even have the energy to consider feeling ashamed when he leans back to watch his cum seep out of your pussy. 

“God, you make me so crazy.” He murmurs, and uses his cock to collect his seed and push it back in. 

You wince as his cock breaches your sore pussy once again. "How are you still hard?"

"I told you I can keep you fucked and happy." He starts to move his hips again, bending down to kiss you when you whine from the abuse on your poor pussy. “Just one more, baby. You can do that for me, can’t you?” 

You nod despite your continued whines. 

“Thank you, baby. God, I don’t think I will ever get enough of you.” Beomgyu keeps your legs in the air as he plows into you sloppily, the slick sounds of his cock moving inside you and dragging out his own cum too loud to ignore. 

You feel absolutely debauched, lying there on your back at the foot of the throne, getting fucked like an animal by the king. You feel equal parts like the whore everyone says you are and also like the most powerful woman in the world, like nothing could ever stop you with him by your side. He would do anything for you. He can’t get enough of you. He said it himself, and maybe you don’t want him to. 

“Do you feel good, my king?” You drawl, spurring him on. “Does my pussy feel good?” 

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” He answers, noting the change in your right away and eagerly feeding into it. 

Beomgyu gets so heated sometimes but he can be so easy to control too. He’s like a wild wolf. As long as you feed him attention and love, he will act docile and let you pet him, but if you cross him, he will tear you to shreds. 

“Is this what you always wanted? Fucking me in the open like this, staking your claim on me?” Your words make him weak and his growls turn to whines. 

“Yes. Mine.” He moans, his rabid thrusts growing erratic as his jaw slacks, and even though his eyes were hazy, they bore right into yours. 

“Poor, baby, you’ve waited so long.” You brush his wet hair back and he looks at you with big puppy eyes. 

“Yes. So long.” He whimpers, hips stuttering as you purposefully clench around him. “Can I cum?” 

“So fast?” You tease and he blushes. “Please. I’ll make it up to you. Just want to fill you up with my cum again.” 

“Okay, puppy, cum for me. Make me yours.” 

“Fuck, fuck, you’re perfect. My perfect queen.” Beomgyu cries, eyes rolling up in his skull as he shudders over you and pumps his seed inside you. 

By the time he goes still, you’re filled to the brim with him and his cum, and yet he doesn’t pull out yet. 

"I don’t want to ever be apart from you, want to stay inside you forever.” He mumbles, kissing your lips again and again. 

“Me too, baby.” You sigh tiredly, letting him kiss you until you’re both drunk on each other. This is what you’ve always wanted. If only it didn’t come at such a hefty prince. Nonetheless, you push that to the back of your mind, choosing to lose yourself in the bliss of the moment. 

You’re still firmly in that lovely daze when Beomgyu pulls out of you and helps you up, carrying you in his arms before he places you on the throne. He then grabs his fallen crown and places it upon your head once again. 

“Beomgyu, what are you doing?” You gasp, sobering up a bit at that. 

He kneels in front of you. "This is what I have to offer you. Myself and the whole kingdom.” He proclaims, looking up at you like you’re his own personal deity. “All of it can be yours but some sacrifices have to be made. Whatever you think he can give you, I can give you a million times more. Both me and my riches are at your feet. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?" 

Not exactly. Yes, you had unrealistic ambitions but even in your wildest dreams, you had never dared to wish for this much. You thought you could either have Beomgyu but become his whore or you could have respect and money but give up on your love. You never imagined that one day he’d be the king and he would lay down himself and his kingdom at your feet.  

If ever there existed a woman who possessed the power to reject such an offer then you haven’t met her. 

“Yes.”

He smiles, and bends down to press a kiss against your pussy.

___________________

You feel faint and your knees buckle under the skirt of your dress. You do your best to hold yourself together so the horde of people gathered in front of the platform you’re standing on can’t see how shaken up you are. 

You step forward to give your testimony hesitantly. It's time to keep your end of the deal and testify against Ryujin and Taehyun.

By doing this, you appear to condemn them in the eyes of both the people and the court, but in reality, you're only condemning yourself. Because when the truth comes out, everyone will know you had given false testimony.

“I was tricked by lord Taehyun.” You start your rehearsed story quietly, shakily, and some people shout at you to speak up. So you clear your throat and repeat your words, louder this time, but still shaky. “I was tricked by lord Taehyun. You see, I-I never had many suitors in my life, certainly not as many as the other, more noble ladies in waiting. It was a great source of embarrassment and pain for me, and he took advantage of that. He got close to me and deceived me into thinking he fancied me, that someone actually wanted to be with me at last.” 

You wince as you relay the fabricated tale, putting Taehyun into the role of the villain that rightfully belonged to Beomgyu. "The royal family were hesitant when I told them that he had asked for my hand in marriage and they warned me about him but I didn't listen. I was stubborn and I thought I knew better than them. I finally had the chance to get wed to an esteemed lord hailing from an ancient family just like all the other ladies and I wasn’t going to let that opportunity slip from my fingers." You continue shamefully, helped by the half-truth of your statement. People were listening to you with rapt attention now. 

"It was only after we got married that I noticed that he would ask me weird questions all the time about the palace and my life there. At first, I brushed it off as my new husband wanting to know more about me, but the questions got more and more specific until I couldn’t ignore the sinister truth behind them anymore. I started refusing to answer and that's when he got angry… " You choke up, letting out a few tears, not because you're a good actress, but because it hurts you to say these things about Taehyun, knowing what he told you about his own mother and father. 

But it was for his benefit in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it now. "He threatened to kill me like he killed his father." 

A singular gasp emits from the crowd as if they all inhaled together at the same time. 

“He forced me to give him the layout of the palace–the hallways, the rooms, where the entrances and exits are, and even when the guards would change shifts. He used the information I gave him along with what he had learned from queen Ryujin in order to carry out his nefarious plans.”

You pause, catching your breath and trying to not pass out from the horror of what you’re doing. “You cannot imagine my despair when I found out that they used the information they’d extracted out of me to kill the king and prince Yeonjun. I was disgusted with myself. How could I have hurt those who have taken me in and treated me as one of their own. Even though I didn’t give out that information willingly, I still felt responsible for what happened. I wanted to die too, but I needed to warn the rest of the family about what’s happening. I couldn’t continue being a coward anymore and risk their lives too.” 

“So I found a way to contact them by sending them a secret message and warning them about the plot against them. I also begged them for the forgiveness I didn’t deserve, hoping they would believe that I had no choice in the matter. I didn’t think they would ever forgive me and I fully prepared myself to die by my husband’s hands as a traitor… but they did. They believe me. They forgave me. And they didn’t give up on me.” You look at the royal family then, the pain in your eyes misconstrued by all present except them. “They kept pushing and pushing until they got me back, and so here I am, once again trying to make up for the harm I have caused them."

Your dejected voice and shattered glances may have seemed suspicious in any other circumstance but to the onlookers who were so hooked onto the tale of the tragic but brave royal family, they only saw a traumatized damsel in distress that was recalling her harrowing experience of betrayal and redemption at the hands of their beloved monarchs. It all just lent more credence to your made up story. 

Next, it’s Wonyoung’s turn to speak, and her testimony is the final nail in Ryujin’s coffin. She reiterates everything that her brother, Soobin, and you have been saying, and she even speaks up in “your” defense. 

“The lady who was standing in front of you just now has been a friend to our family for more than a decade. We lived together, we played together, we grew up together. At this point, I consider her part of my family.” Wonyoung attests and the crowd moves in awe of the charitable princess who is so kind to someone such as you. “So to stand here and watch her be forced to deny such despicable rumors about her and my brother is so disheartening. That murderous, vile lord has no shame. Is it not enough what he did to her? Now he wants to use her to take down my brother? But it’s okay, we know how to protect our own.”

Wonyoung looks up to where you’re sitting, hidden from sight. “We will do everything in our power to help you, sweetling.” She speaks to you but it’s loud enough for everyone to hear, before she turns to the priest and addresses him. "I beg you, my lord, to free my friend and dear sister from that prison of a marriage. I know that neither you nor the good people of this kingdom will stand to keep her bound to such a ruthless man.” 

The crowd roars in agreement, completely falling for the intricate lie the royals have weaved, and the priest raises his hand, silencing the crowd. "I will look into it, my child." He answers Wonyoung kindly, "Never despair, for the gods are always looking down on us and they will not allow evil to prevail for long." 

His words incite a shiver down your spine. You hope it’s not true, you hope the gods aren’t really looking down on you because if they are, then surely you'll end up in the deepest hell for all your sins. 

Once Wonyoung gets off the platform, the judge, priest and jury head to a private chamber to convene, the trial coming to an end and now it’s time for the verdict. 

You don't know why your heart is racing and your chest is tightening. You already know what they’ll come back with. Wonyoung holds your hand as you wait, as if you're the one who needs comforting. You can almost see Beomgyu's struggle not to glance at you, having to keep up appearances in front of the public. 

But the verdict comes as sure as death–guilty on all counts, and the sentence is death by decapitation.

The crowd cheers, victorious and satisfied with the juicy, turbulent story as Ryujin is quite literally dragged away, her feet not seeming to be able to carry her anymore. 

________________

The news of Ryujin’s conviction and the royal family seeking an annulment for your marriage reaches Taehyun and his supporters soon enough. They, of course, decry it, using it as proof that Beomgyu is just doing this to free you up for himself. But regardless of their protests, the annulment is still approved and Ryujin is still getting executed. 

You’re a single woman when you go to witness the execution of the woman who is married to the love of your life. Beomgyu tries to get you to sit it out, telling you that you don’t need to subject yourself to something so horrific, as if you weren’t the cause of that horror yourself. No. You owe it to her, despite what you may feel about her. That’s what Taehyun taught you. 

Soon you might be here to witness your own former husband’s execution. Or maybe it will be yours and Beomgyu’s if your parting gift to Taehyun proves to be too successful. It’s not your intent. You merely wished to give him an edge against Beomgyu’s oppressive forces and lies, but you don’t know how potent of a tool it might be, or if it will even help him at all. 

Your musings are cut short when you see Beomgyu raise his hand up, signaling for the executioner to prepare himself as the priest finishes his prayer and asks Ryujin for any last words before she meets her creators.

"I am not afraid to meet the gods.” She mutters hatefully, “But I know you all will be." 

The priest looks flustered at her proclamation but Beomgyu doesn’t even react to her words. He merely lets his hand drop, and with it swings the sword. 

Ryujin’s death is quick and humane, performed by an expert swordsman–blink and you would’ve missed it. Funny how, in a way, Beomgyu had more mercy for his wife that tried to kill him than Taehyun had for his brother and friend. 

You could have never expected the cheers that followed the sight of her head separating from her body, and you find them to be more morbid than the screams and heaving you’d witnessed at Jaeyun’s execution. It was disgusting. No one deserves to have their death elicit such sick glee. 

Just a couple of years ago, Ryujin arrived at the city with a grand parade and exuberant celebration, and now she’s being sent off to the underworld with flippant hate and gruesome cheer. How frighteningly easy it is to have people turn on you. Is this what’s going to happen to you when Taehyun uses your gift?

A cold shiver wracks your body as you imagine yourself in her shoes–your head rolling on the floor as the crowd itches to grab a hold of it and do with it god knows what. 

Just like the rich prey on the poor, enslaving them and hoarding all the money from them, so do the poor turn on the rich at the drop of a hat, sinking their teeth into them and ripping them to shreds the moment they fall. 

The royal family lets the cheers and shouts of approval last for a while, letting the people have their macabre fun, before Beomgyu raises one delicate hand to shush them, and as if under a spell, the crowd goes quiet.

“My good people, I thank you for the unconditional support and understanding you’ve shown me and my family against such unspeakable treason. If I stand here and speak for another hundred years, I would still not be able to fully express my gratitude for each and every one of you. If we come to win this war against the traitors, know that it will have been because of you and only you.“ Beomgyu speaks, appealing to the ego and patriotism of the crowd, wanting them to feel personally attached and invested in this cause, wanting them to feel like they were an integral part of unraveling a secret scheme to take down the kingdom and that their continued loyalty to the crown will save it. 

“But I am afraid it doesn’t end here. My wife isn’t the only traitor that should be brought to justice. Lord Taehyun must be made to answer for his crimes too. Not only that, but he wants to invite foreigners, strangers, to rule your lands! Are you just going to stand by and let them take what belongs to us?” Beomgyu shouts, riling the crowd up. “Tell me, who do you trust? A king who walks among you or a warlord who seeks to bring outsiders to rule you?” 

The answer is obvious, and it is shouted loudly by everyone present. 

“You.” They say, “Our king.” 

And with that, Beomgyu officially declares war on Taehyun and his supporters. 

_______________________________

Once again, Beomgyu is swept up with preparations and meetings following his announcement of war against Taehyun, and you’re left alone to contend with everything that has happened and will happen. 

It's all your fault. You should never have left. And it all started here, in this room–the ballroom–where you had to watch the love of your life dancing with the woman he was promised to and you couldn't handle it. You had to make your escape in the hopes that you would run away from having to watch him be with someone else when you loved him so painfully, in the hopes that you too could have a partner to share a lawful and honorable union with. 

And now that woman you so envied is dead, and that marriage you sacrificed so much for is dissolved, and you're on the brink of war. 

“What are you doing here, princess?” Beomgyu's gentle voice takes you out of your thoughts. 

You look at him to see that he's the only one standing in the ballroom where the guards who were constantly around you once stood. 

"Remember Ryujin's welcoming party?" You ask, catching him off guard. 

"Why are you bringing this up now, baby?" He admonishes but you pay him no mind. 

"When I saw you dancing with her, looking every bit like the perfect royal couple… I was filled with such hate, such ugly jealousy, I wanted to grab one of those ridiculous decorative glass pieces your mother put everywhere at the party and smash it over her head." You confess, still vividly seeing the scene as if it was taking place right in front of your eyes. "I hated her so much, I wished she would die."

"She's gone now, baby." Beomgyu reassures you, an inappropriate smile on his face. 

Yes, she is. Oh how foolish was your wish? How naive? Once again the gods take pleasure in perversing your wishes and turning them against you. 

You breathe out a short laugh. “It wasn’t just her. Whenever there was a ball at the palace, I always envied the women you’d dance with. I always wished that it would be me instead of them, but I never was.” You tell him wistfully, and he wraps his arms around you and pulls you towards him. “Believe me, princess, there was nothing I wanted more.” 

You tilt your head to the side. “Can we dance now?”

“Of course, anything for you.” He answers, and you know he’s not just talking about this. This is a man who has killed for you. Under the cover of the night, you allow yourself to feel flattered by it. “Let me get the musicians.”

That's right. The palace has live-in musicians. The royals love their music and like all people of their stature, everything must be made available to them at their whim. It's one of the many things you envied them for, but at this moment, you just wanted to be alone with him.

“No.” You shake your head. “Just us.” 

He smiles. “Then you’re going to have to suffer through my voice.”

“I love your voice.” You sigh, because of course you do. What don't you like about him? 

He grabs your arms and places them around his neck before he puts his hands on your waist and starts singing.

Something hides in every night

Brings desire from the deep

And with it comes a burning light

To keep us from our sleep

Goosebumps flash across your skin as Beomgyu's voice hits you, prompting you to press yourself closer to him as if answering the call of a siren, and Beomgyu happily welcomes you, holding you back just as tightly until you’re almost hugging. 

As the full star tries his best to make the white pearl shine

Glances of a new day have arrived

And though he's not alone, he fears to never love another

And leave his heart forever with her smile

He brushes your hair out of his face as he sings and you lean into his touch, into the welcoming warmth of him. You’re certain if he could rip his chest open and lock you inside, he would. 

My love, light is burning

As I am burning

My love, light is burning

As I am yearning

Beomgyu sings the lyrics quietly but you can feel his soul in them. He may not be the best singer out there but no one else could move you like he does. Because the words are spoken directly to you, made for you.

And meanwhile, a whole lot goes down

Somewhere in the darkness, us together for a while

You loved it then, so did I

A feeling deep inside you wants to love it all again

His song beckons you, asking you to join him, to give into him. 

His voice is so different from Taehyun’s. While Taehyun’s is melodic and sweet, Beomgyu’s is deep, unrefined, earthly. With the dark atmosphere in the room and the cryptic lyrics, it gives you shivers, and you cling to him, feeling as if he’s the only real thing in the universe. He holds onto you tightly as well, as if both of your souls could reunite if you got close enough. 

You want to fall into him and never get up again. 

Now don't leave it there, just give it a chance

If only I'd forget you after one last dance

But you're everywhere, yes you are

In every melody and in every little scar

His voice wavers a bit, and you see the pain behind his words. He’s begging you not to hurt him again. 

Yes you are, you are, love

He ends his song, resting his forehead against yours, his eyes never breaking away from yours, not willing to break your soul connection yet. 

“Everything will go our way, my love.” He promises. 

You want it bad. You want everything to work out for you, but you know something that Beomgyu doesn’t, something that could turn this whole thing around–your parting gift to Taehyun. And although you know it was the right thing to do, you still feel guilty for betraying Beomgyu like this, especially when you feel one of his hands move from your back to your belly, and he smiles at you fondly. 

“I wonder if I got you pregnant.”

Your breath hitches at the thought. You wanted it. You really did, and he clearly is counting on it, which you can't understand. How can you bring a child into this mess right now?

"Aren't you scared that if I get pregnant, people will realize that Taehyun is telling the truth?"

Beomgyu stiffens at the mention of Taehyun's name. "No. People are gullible. They'll believe whatever they're told if it comes from someone they like and they'll ignore the truth even if it's being screamed in their face if it doesn't align with their preconceived notions about someone. They would never believe him over me. You saw it just now."

"They might if something shifts the tide." You mutter under your breath, but Beomgyu hears it and he doesn’t let your words slide. 

"What are you talking about? Is this about what you told him?" He presses, holding onto you when you try to wiggle away. 

He's not being rough about it though. He's still giving you those same sad, pleading eyes that make you wish he was being mean instead. Because god help you, you're still weak for him despite everything. 

"Baby, please, tell me what you told him. It's not too late. I can save us. I just need you to let me." He pleads but you shake your head, eyelashes beading with tears. "It is too late. He probably has them by now." 

"Has what?" Beomgyu asks. 

"The letters you sent me." You finally confess. It doesn't matter now anyway. "I lied about getting rid of them. I hid them in case you betrayed him." 

You had gathered all the letters, wrapped them up in the pearl necklace Taehyun gave you, and left them in a hidden nook at the cliff you used to go to to clear your mind. You wanted to believe that Beomgyu would be content with having you back, but you needed a fail-safe in case he didn’t, and that’s exactly what happened.

To your surprise, Beomgyu doesn’t look angry, he doesn’t look shocked, instead he looks relieved. 

"I'm happy you told me the truth, princess." He croons, brushing off tears you hadn’t known you were crying. 

"You're not mad?" You cling onto him, seeking the forgiveness he’s dangling in front of you. 

"I am upset that you decided to hurt me like that." He says and you wince. You didn’t want to hurt him. He forced you to do this. "But it's fine. No harm done. And I'm happy you confessed."

No harm done? 

"But he must have the letters by now. Aren’t you scared about what’s going to happen when he reveals them to the world?" You ask, confused, but Beomgyu smiles cryptically and shakes his head. 

You hear buzzing in your ear as he steps back and pulls something familiar out of his pocket–the same wad of letters you had rolled up and left on that cliff, sans the necklace. 

He hands them to you silently and you receive them like a death sentence–Taehyun's death sentence. 

Unfurling them, you’re met with the undeniable sight of those same words that haunted and tormented you all those nights ago. 

You are mine. I cannot bear the thought of another man occupying your heart. I can’t even imagine you calling a name that is not mine. Ah… if I were to hear it I swear I would do anything to rip any memory of him out of your brain. I would take you again and again until you can’t even remember how he felt anymore. 

How could you do this to me? The fact that these thoughts even exist in my mind… What have you done to me? You play with my heart. You torture me. What have I become? Would you hate me if you saw me like that? Would you be scared of me if you could read my mind?

Princess, I want to hurt you so bad right now…I want you to beg for pleasure and mercy. 

You tremble as you gaze at him. Would he actually hurt you if you push him enough?

Yes, he has hurt you emotionally, even physically when he took you against your will, but would he actually harm you? Even in his worst moments, he hasn't gone that far, but what if he loses hope in you?

All this time, he has been sure of one thing and that is your love for him. He told you that he always believed you'd come back to him and choose him. But what if something happens to shake that belief?

When it comes down to it, I still can’t believe you would give up on our love so easily. I would never give up on my love for you. Even after all we’ve been through, I… It takes so much to upset me.

I can be vengeful, princess. I can be as perverse as I am sweet. They will tell you awful things about me in the following days, I’m sure. They will say that I am ruthless, that I would do anything to get what I want.. to get to you. And they will have the guts to say it with disdain, as if it was a sin. You are dangerous, my princess. You are dangerous to me. But I am worse without you. That’s why you are my princess. I need you to keep me sane.

He's almost boasting about the lengths he would go for you. How could you think you could sway someone who not only has no remorse, but is proud of what he's done? 

You should have never left his side. You unleashed him on the world. None of this would’ve happened if you had just stayed. 

And Beomgyu has never shied away from telling you as much.

Don’t worry, princess. I will get you back. The universe made you perfect for me so how could you belong to another? 

Our story is not over yet, princess. We will see each other again. I still have hope. I have to. Every problem has a solution, no matter how drastic or insane. 

Have you forgotten what I said to you that night? You destroyed me, and I will make sure you destroy him too. Do you think he will still love you when his blood is on your hands?

No, you haven't forgotten. You remember his words clearly. 

"If he ever tries to take you from me again, I'll murder him in front of your eyes."

How could you have possibly forgotten this anger? It's clear he would’ve never spared Taehyun. 

If you hadn’t dragged Taehyun into this, he would be safe now. He would have found someone else more worthy, a woman strong and free as an eagle who could soar beside him, not a songbird who longs for the safety and luxury of her gilded cage, for the gentle and deceiving touch of her owner. 

You said you wanted money, stability, provisions… and so you ran off to him? What a fucking joke. What man can provide for you better than I can? 

My stupid princess, all your life I've coddled you, spoiled you, and it made you think you can get away with doing whatever you want. That was my mistake, I admit. I made you so naive that you actually think that man can protect you.

But it’s okay, I'll fix it all soon. You’re mine. I will have you again, and when I do… The things I’m going to do, princess, you’re going to wish you never left my side.

Never again, love. You’ll never be able to leave me once I’m done with you. 

We will be happy again. But for now I hope you’re crying for me. I hope you’re begging for my forgiveness.

The warnings were all there. His possessiveness and entitlement because of everything he provided for you. His warnings that he's going to take revenge and make you regret leaving him. 

He kept his word. And Beomgyu wasn't going to make his past mistakes again. 

"How…" You croak, trying to find your voice through your choked tears. "How did you get these?"

"I've had them for almost as long as you've been here. My spies saw you hiding them." He informs you, not needing to say more. 

There goes the one chance Taehyun had to prove the truth of his claims, and you watch in despair as Beomgyu takes the letters back from you and pockets them again, no doubt to dispose of them himself. 

He's the devil. You can never outsmart him….What's worse is that you feel a tinge of relief at that, the fact that you haven’t hurt him, can't hurt him. Because, may the gods curse you, you still don't want to. It took everything in you to force yourself to betray him, to go through with the meeting, and it was all for naught. 

You don't think you can do it again, not that you even had anything left you could do.

"I hate you." You mutter tiredly. 

"I know but I also know that you love me." He says, cupping your face gently and pressing a kiss to your lips that you don't reciprocate. "The question is, do you hate me enough to hurt me again?" 

Tears fill up your eyes again, "I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted to give him a chance." 

"You think that comes free? You think you can just balance the scales and have neither of us get hurt?" His voice gets high with barely contained fury. "Stop being so fucking naive, princess. It's time you make your choice once and for all. Me or him?"

You press your lips together and shake your head. 

"Do you want to save him?" He deadpans and you nod hesitantly, sensing something is off. 

“Then kill me.” 

“W-what?” Your mouth goes dry at the unexpected challenge. 

You watch with shaking pupils as Beomgyu pulls out a dagger from his clothes–-your dagger, the one Taehyun gifted you. 

He holds it out to you and you reach out for it in a daze, not believing that he’s actually giving it back to you. But as soon as you wrap your hand around the hilt, he encases his own hands around it and points the dagger at the middle of his chest, right over where his heart is, just a few centimeters of skin and flesh separating it from the sharp blade. 

“What are you doing, Beomgyu?” You freak out, any wrong move and the dagger could plunge in and hurt him. 

"If you want to save him then kill me. Because as long as I live, he won’t ever be safe.” 

You shake your head. “Stop this, please.” You’re growing hysterical. You’ve never felt this much panic and distress before, your body flooding with terror at the proximity of the dagger to your beloved’s heart. “Please!”

“I’m sick and tired of you pretending to care about these people, pretending like you don’t want what I want so I’m giving you your out. Kill me now and end it or don’t and stop pretending like this isn’t exactly what you want.” 

“Beomgyu–” You whine pitifully, trying to pull your trembling hands away but he won’t let you. Your entire body weight feels like it’s being held by his hands right now, your vision growing hazy and developing black spots as you grow faint.  

“Choose!” 

“You! I choose you!” You bawl and he finally lets your hands go and the dagger falls to the ground with a clang. You almost fall along with it too but Beomgyu holds you fast in his arms. 

"It's okay." He shushes you, smoothening his hand over your hair soothingly while you hang onto him and cry into his chest. "You just needed to make a choice. That's all I wanted. I'll take care of the rest."

It's hopeless fighting against him. He will always win. He has been dictating your life ever since you were children and he will continue doing so until your death. So just give in. You’re so tired of fighting him. You don’t even have the strength to kill him and end it because you love him too much. You love your captor, your rapist, your owner. You're just as rotten as him and you don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourself.

Taehyun is going to die and you’re going to live with the knowledge that you killed him and countless more because you were selfish enough to spread your misery around. 

____________________________

A/N: as always, feedback keeps me going so please drop a message and let me know what you think. only two chapters left now. is gyu going to kill tyun? will tyun figure out a way to come on top? is oc going to give in? what more tricks does gyu have up his sleeve?

[petals2fish]

1. Fortnight - functioning alcoholic 🥲 YOUR QUIET TREASON. All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February. POSTIC GENIUS. Magical move on drug YIKES. I love you you tis ruining my life. I touched you for only a fortnight but I touched you. “My husband is cheating I want to kill him.” MOOD. I love you it’s ruining my life. I’m calling ya but you won’t pick up. Went to Florida?!?! 🫡🫡🫡 thank you post Malone for your service.

2. The tortured poets department: “I’ve seen this episode but still loved the show.” Aka I THINK IVE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE AND I DIDNT LIKE THE ENDING. “Who’s gonna love you if not me.” Lol “We’re modern idiots!!!!” JUSTICE FOR CHARLIE PUTH!!!! “A tattooed golden retriever” made me laugh out loud. “I chose this cyclone with you.” Is so Jily plz. “You’re not Dillion Thomas and I’m not patting smith.” Okay Tay. NO FUCKING BODY: 👍🏼 “Sometimes I wonder if you’ll screw this up with me.” Spoiler ‼️ he did. “Everyone we know understands why it’s meant to be.” I didn’t thanks. “Because we’re crazy.” Okay mood. HE PUT THE RING IN HER RING FINGER?!?! “CLOSEST IVE COME TO MY HEART EXPLODING?!?!” PLEASE?!?! “You left your typewriter at my apartment straight from the tortured poets department.” Five stars!!

3. My boy only breaks his favorite toys: ‘I’m queen of sandcastles he destroys.’ Jumps out at me. “Cause I knew too much.” WHAT DO YIU KNOW TAYLOR. “Should have known it was a matter of time.” Taylor is the queen of ignoring red flags. 🚩 This is a fun beat though besties. “Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me.” YEAH. TELL EM BESTIE. “Stole my tortured heart and left all these broken parts. Told me I’m better off.” Sorry Taylor you were better off babes.

4. Down bad: NICER BEAT OKAY. “Dawn bad crying at the gym.” Mood. “Fuck it if I can’t have him I might just die.” No why is this so FUNNY. Like this is Matty we’re talking about for sure. “Everything forms out teenage petulance.” I mean yeah cause you were still developing a prefrontal cortex when you met him. “So fuck you if I can’t have us.” HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS PART. Honestly I feel you Taylor, I’ve been dumb for a dumb boy before too. It’s okay.

5. So long London: EXCISE ME OPENING WITH A CHORAl. THESE KYRICS WHATLFHAKRHS FUCKKKKK. How much sad did you think I had??? Oh the tragedy?! So long London, you’ll find some one???? “You left me at the house by the heath.” “I stopped CPR”?!?! 😿😿 “YOU LET Me give all that you for free?!?!” SHE GAVE YOU A FUCKING GRAMMY YOGURT BOY AND YOU DIDNT EVEN WANT IT. “too graves, one gun?!” Good for you baby girl. “I’ll find someone” SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m gonna throw up. Fuck fuck fuck. Taylor 😿😿😿😿 “I DIED ON THE ALTER” ALDBSKAHDBSJSKS NOOOOO. I’m crying. My Shakespeare queen. You’ll find someone RIPS at my heart.

6. But daddy I love him: “bedroom eyes like a remedy.” Fuck how many matty songs are we getting. This reminds me so much of a faith hill song. No I will not elaborate right now. Very country narrative. This one will be fun to scream in concert just for the “I’m having his baby…no I’m not!!!” Very chaotic. 4/5 stars.

7. Fresh out of the slammer: daily disappearing just to see him smile?!?! Girlie pop you really do lie to yourself don’t you??? “He was with her in dreams” I mean it’s really joeover. This song is fun, I like it, very chaotic as well. 5/5 stars.

8. Florida!!!: Florence my queen you make this song beautiful, I need more listens to deconstruct it though:

9. Guilty as skin: girl just write self insert fanfic if you want to fuck someone this badly (can’t wait to write and read fics based off this one hahahaha) 5/5 stars 🌟

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?: shit I’m crying. Fuck fuck fuck. She truly hates most of the new fans huh. Lmaooo SHE SINGS THIS IN ALL HER REGISTERS OMGGGG. It’s all her past selves screaming at us!!! Aldhaksjdka she’s so fucking clever

11. I can fix him no really I can: AHAHA THE ENDING KF THE SONG ALDBSKAHDKAJDHAKDHW SHE REALLY SAID “OH SHIT DAMN I FUCKED UP DIDNT I” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

12. Loml: Joe Alwyn you need witness protection

13. I can do it with a broken heart: oh god this was hurts me more than so long London because it hits home for every damn time I had to preform on stage and then go cry in the shower between shows 🥲

14. The smallest man who ever lived: 🚨🚨🚨 found at the scene of the crime: Joe Alwyn's Small Dick

15. The alchemy: AHHHHHHH!!! HOLY FUCK WE GOT A TRAVIS SONG ALDBSLAHDBSKSJDBWKEHDBAKWJD HE GOT A SONG FUCK YESSSSS

16. CLARA BOW: the outro. The OUTRO. THE FUCKING OUTRO. I’m dead. 😵

Overall: I love it. I love it. I love it SO DAMN MICH. you can tell how much time and effort she put into production and story telling. FUCK. I love this album as much as I loved Folklore the first time I heard it!!