#wet cat Jon is best Jon

[astheflowersgrow]

Let me show you how I achieve the ideal ArchivistTM look in just 10 months while running on black tea, caffeine, little to no sleep, statements and trauma

[bookhousestark]

ARYA STARK APPRECIATION WEEK 2024 ↳ Day 3: Overlooked traits

Natural leader

They rode north, away from the lake, following a rutted farm road across the torn fields and into the woods and streams. Arya took the lead, kicking her stolen horse to a brisk heedless trot until the trees closed in around her. Hot Pie and Gendry followed as best they could. Wolves howled off in the distance, and she could hear Hot Pie's heavy breathing. No one spoke. From time to time Arya glanced over her shoulder, to make sure the two boys had not fallen too far behind, and to see if they were being pursued.

A Storm of Swords, Arya I

Fond of nature

"When we were crossing the Neck, I counted thirty-six flowers I never saw before, and Mycah showed me a lizard-lion."

A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

Merciful

“[…] Do you want the water?" "Aye." The man swallowed. "And the mercy. Please."

When she came back, the archer turned his face up and she poured the water into his mouth. He gulped it down as fast as she could pour, and what he couldn't gulp ran down his cheeks into the brown blood that crusted his whiskers, until pale pink tears dangled from his beard.

A Storm of Swords, Arya XII

Feminist

"The Lannisters are proud," Jon observed. "You'd think the royal sigil would be sufficient, but no. He makes his mother's House equal in honor to the king's." "The woman is important too!" Arya protested.

A Game of Thrones, Arya I

Empathetic

She thought of Mycah again and her eyes filled with tears. Her fault, her fault, her fault. If she had never asked him to play at swords with her …

A Game of Thrones, Arya II

Left-handed

Arya took her right hand off the grip and wiped her sweaty palm on her pants. She held the sword in her left hand. He seemed to approve. "The left is good. All is reversed, it will make your enemies more awkward.”

A Game of Thrones, Arya II

Learned

It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household.

A Game of Thrones, Arya I

Observant

"Learn three new things before you come back to us," the kindly man had commanded Cat, when he sent her forth into the city. She always did. Sometimes it was no more than three new words of the Braavosi tongue. Sometimes she brought back sailor's tales, of strange and wondrous happenings from the wide wet world beyond the isles of Braavos, wars and rains of toads and dragons hatching. Sometimes she learned three new japes or three new riddles, or tricks of this trade or the other. And every so often, she would learn some secret.

A Feast For Crows, Cat of The Canals

[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2023:30-Save Some for Me

Many people of the Justice League were summoned for a mission. Some were hiding in the shadows, others were stuck as civilians. Everything was going fine in the mission until Damian Wayne was suddenly thrown into building. That was the day he learned his two sunshine would go to hell for him.

Damian lay aginst the building. His vision was foggy, at best.

'Concussion. Labored breathing; likely a broken rib or two.'

He hadn't noticed people had started running away and were screaming. He hadn't even noticed Jon and Marinette calling his name until they got to his side.

'Hearing impairment.'

"Don't touch him!" Jon shouted, "He has some broken bones and some bad bruising."

"Concussion. Hearing impairment. Labored breathing." Damian whispered out, "Tired."

" Stay awake. I'll get a medic as fast as I can." Jon remarked, "I'm staying with you. I'll protect you from any more damage."

'That's good. His body can shield me from anymore debris or if there's any bullets.'

Damian felt wet drops fall on him.

'Rain?'

It wasn't until he heard the sob that he realized it was Marinette.

"Angel. I will be fine." he spoke.

He saw her hand turn into a fist and drop her precious earrings into her purse. She shoved it into Jon's arm.

"Marinette?" Jon asked.

He saw Marinette place a small ring on her hand.

"Claws out." she snarled.

Before his eyes, his angel looked like a small version of Selina in her CatWoman outfit. Her hair had turned jet black and was tied in a long braid down to her ankles. Her suit was now black. She was wearing thigh high heels with a green sash wrapped around her waist. Her hands had turned claws. She no wore a black domino mask the looked like his own robin mask and upon her head, were a pair of cat ear, trimmed with green. Then, she was gone.

"You might want to make sure Angel doesn’t kill anyone." Damian spoke, before passing out with a smile.

Jon turned to see Marinette lunging at people and blood splattering everywhere. It reminded him of watching his best friend train with his swords.

'Oh, shit! There's two of them!'

Jon quickly rushed away and grabbed ahold of her, locking her arms. She still managed to move with him holding her.

'I was wrong. She's scarier!'

The Bats quickly rounded everyone up as the rest of the Justice League avoided Ladybug, now turned Cat. She was hissing and clawing, trying to get away from Superboy. He had scratches on him from holding her back and was bleeding. Superman quickly rushed over and knocked her out. Superboy huffed and handed her over to Batman.

"Your son's girlfriend is just as deadly as he is." he huffed.

Plagg released himself from the ring.

"Do you have any cheese?" he questioned.

"What?" replied Superman.

"Another alien?" asked Green Lantern.

"Rude." Plagg answered, "I am the God of Destruction."

"Yep. That fits the bill." Red Hood responded, "Demon Spawn dating a person of destruction."

"Oh, you have it all wrong." Plagg declared "She only used me because she was pissed and you should be grateful, she did."

"She killed ten people." Batman spoke.

The kwami shrugged, "Could have been worse."

"How?" asked Nightwing.

"She could have been weilding her usual, my other half: Tikki, the Goddess of Creation. She created the universe." Plagg explained, enthusiastically, "When she gets pissed, she creates weapons of mass destruction. Instead of ten people, it could have been half the planet."

All the heroes looked at Marinette unconscious in Batman's arms.

"Who's the bad one now?" Plagg smirked, "At least she didn't used Kalki. Could have just teleported them over a volcano or a pit of death."

"So, do you have cheese?" Plagg asked again.

Jon was quick to warn the medical team about Damian's injuries and the extent of them, as he was placed on a stretcher.

"Ah, Loverboy." Plagg declared.

The Kwami of Destruction tapped on the downed Robin and let the green aura wash over him.

"Is that-?" Tim shouted.

"My magic." Plagg stated, absorbing it, "Seems he has a lot of it in him. Not as goo as cheese, but it helps. I'll talk to the bug and she can give my ring to him, for awhile. I should be able to absorb the rest. Same with Helmet Head."

"Really?" questioned Red Hood."

Plagg nodded, "Yep."

"Are you perhaps talking about the Lazarus Pits magic?" Batman asked.

"I don’t know what you people call it now, but that is our magic." Plagg explained, "Someone wished for it so we made it. It's why she works so hard to makes sure it doesn’t happen."

Red Hood shook his head, "They're a perfect match."

"Huh?" asked Wonder Woman.

"Demon Spawn and his 'Angel'. We all know if Batsy, here, wasn't around, he'd be leaving Gotham painted red. Hid girlfriend is the same way, if he gets hurt. You can't honestly tell me if she got hurt, he'd go back to being an assassin." he explained.

The Justice League loked between the unconcious couple.

"I say it's Batman's problem, now." Green Lantern stated, "His kid and future daughter-in-law."

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

[cyrus-solaris]

my new lifeline is fan content of Gerry and Jon being best friends bc i love my dead goth son and this wet cat of a man.

[blazingstar24]

TMA Pokemon AU: Jmart Edition

Alright here’s Jon and Martin’s teams! Previous post was on Elias and Peter’s teams which you can find: here. As Elias and Jon share some pokemon lines being Eye avatars and Peter and Martin kinda share one and the more in depth explanation is on that post

Jonathan Sims:

Espurr: As stated in my previous post, the Espurr-Meowstic line is Eye aligned and has strong psychic powers. Espurrs however cannot fully control theirs unlike the more experienced evolved forms. As such Jon and Espurr grow their powers alongside each other. He caught his Espurr shortly before his promotion (which Elias took as a good omen)

Espurr has mad beef with Meowstic though. She’s normally quite shy and tends to hide behind Jon or sit in his lap while he reads statements, but when Espurr sees Meowstic around the Institute, she immediately gets defensive (see cats puffing themselves up). It’s not uncommon to see those two in some kind of staring match around the archives.

Munna: Again per previous post, the Munna- Musharna line is Eye aligned with their dream/nightmare eating ability being similar to Eye avatars tormenting their victims dreams. Actually all head Archivists get a Munna upon promotion. Even Gertrude had one. Jon found a pokeball on his desk when he was promoted, a gift from Elias. He thought nothing of it until he read through Gertrude’s notes saying she was suspicious of it.

His relationship with Munna is complicated. The pokemon can’t help being Eye aligned, but he never wanted to be an Avatar of the Eye much less an avatar of anything. When he accepts being one and wakes from his coma, it evolves alongside his Espurr.

Type: Null : The funny thing about Type: Null is that it’s incredibly rare and not naturally occurring. It was made by people to imitate a god. A god that can use and be every type. Yes, Type: Null represents Jon being marked by all the fears (and a bit of the lighter) and is somewhat of the receptacle for it as well.

Jon has no memory of catching it nor does he question it until remembering the Leitner book he read as a child. Type: Null appeared as his after that incident. Its pokeball is always on his belt, he doesn’t know where it came from. Despite being a gift from the Web and what Elias is using to prepare him for the Watcher’s Crown, Type:Null is loyal and tries its best to protect Jon. It’s been with him for a long time and to be fair Jon is also quite attached to it as well.

Diving into the more vibes based pokemon now:

Smoliv: Anxious little dude. Peak wet cat Jonathan Sims energy. Also Jon feels like a grass type trainer if not for the supernatural shenanigans pulling him into a Psychic/Fairy typing.

Snivy: Again vibes but really Snivy has that same stuck up attitude of s1 Jon, it’s a solitary type pokemon and when it evolves into Serperior, it is able to defeat enemies with a single glare (Aka s5 Jon obliterating other avatars) Snivy was Jon’s starter pokemon, has been with him longer than any of the rest. Snivy’s prickly attitude is a much of a defense mechanism as it is for Jon.

Noctowl: Vibes but also Jon raised it from a Hoothoot! He would stay up late reading and a Hoothoot would be outside his window. It was his companion at night and eventually he saved enough allowance to buy a pokeball to catch it.

Jon thinks it makes him look scholarly….Tim says it means he’s a fucking nerd. Martin thinks it’s cute. If Jon has to battle, it’s Noctowl he’s sending out.

Martin Blackwood:

Audino: Healer pokemon, kind and gentle. Emotionally intelligent. Martin is at his heart someone who wants to help thus he would have an Audino. He also has Audino because he did drop out of school to become a caretaker for his mother so he would need the help of a healer pokemon.

Mawile: Mawile’s whole thing is that she looks cute but is deadly when you get close. Which does fit Martin’s looks like cinnamon roll, will kill you vibe. He’s got plenty of spitfire in him and yet tries to be kind. But truly Martin’s not the doe eyed guy that most people think he is. In fact out of all the archives staff, at least after Sasha is gone, Martin is the best battler they have.

He caught Mawile as his first pokemon and she is very protective of him. She likes to surprise people as Audino is the one people see hanging around Martin more often, so they are usually shocked when she pops out of her ball, ready to throw down.

Polteageist (antique form): Spooky tea. That’s it. Martin would have one. He thinks it’s cute and sure he caught it on Institute grounds and maybe the sheer amount of ghost types appearing around the Institute is a little creepy but Martin doesn’t mind. Who wouldn’t love a little tea cup?

Joltik: A nod to Web!Martin. He caught Joltik before being hired and the little spider loves to hang out with him. Joltik often sits happily upon Martin’s head and also sometimes messes up the electronics more than usual.

Joltik freaks the hell out of Jon so Martin is careful not to bother him with Joltik on his head. (Jon eventually gets used to it, but he does still get weird vibes from it)When Jane Prentiss attacks, Joltik refused to come out of its pokeball. Joltik also really hated Peter. Joltik is somewhat of a gift from the Web but it’s unaware of this. But it definitely made its hatred for Peter known for pushing Martin onto a different path.

Ninetales (Alolan): Caught during Martin’s Lonely arc. Martin’s not really an ice type trainer. He’s a multi type so it’s not like he has preferences but he’s very aware that Ninetales didn’t fit his team dynamic. And that was good because he caught Ninetales to help further his fooling of Peter.

Despite this, Martin does take care of Ninetales and as much as he did fight it, Martin does end up leaning towards the Lonely. As stated before Martin’s a damn good battler, and when shit goes tits up in the Apocalypse, he knows how to integrate Ninetales into his battle style and destroys avatar ass with them.

Sylveon (shiny): (The shiny part is just because the inverse blue and pink matches Martin’s color palette more.) Like I said in my Lonelyeyes poke post, it is Lukas family tradition to be given an Eevee and to turn it into a Glaceon upon being initiated into avatardom. So Peter gifted Martin an Eevee.

And welp sorry Peter, the power of love beats the Lonely and when Martin reveals he did all of this for Jon, his Eevee evolves into a Sylveon, thus rejecting the Lonely. (Elias was fucking losing his shit at this, he was almost too busy cackling to tease Peter about losing their bet.) It is also Sylveon that helps lead Jon to find Martin in the Lonely, despite not even know that it is Martin’s pokemon. Jon just felt somehow connected to it and through it, Martin.

Notes:

If they were in the actual Pokemon world, Martin would be an Ace Trainer or a Ranger. They are lucky Martin choose to be kind because he would make a damn scary pokevillain.

Jon would be a poke-researcher. He would love to just be filling out a pokedex, looking into pokemon myths and legendaries. Getting his ass beat by them pokemon like Professor Birch and the poochyenas. (Pokemon AU in which Jon is a professor who is always getting into trouble because he is dogshit at battling and Martin somehow always finding him on his journeys and having to save him from whatever legendary Jon discovered and pissed off. The archives crew are still Jon’s assistants and they are just like hey man maybe stop going into weird caves???)

Snivy was super snooty to Martin in the beginning much like its trainer. But also much like its trainer, Snivy got very attached to Martin as Jon too fell in love with him. Snivy was very distressed when Martin was on his Lonely arc and stopped coming around.

Audino is often very worried about Jon, seeing as the man is kidnapped on a regular basis, would probably keel over if a strong gust of wind came along, and has very little sense of self preservation. Martin has Audino watch over Jon when he’s off distracting Peter. Bless Audino’s heart because she had to hear the Jmart pining from both sides and she’s not even telepathic like Espurr so she can’t tell them to just kiss already.

Despite Jon not being great at taking care of himself, he is excellent at taking care of Pokemon. This is due to him reading a lot as a child and basically did the “i read the dictionary as kid so now i know lots of words” thing except he just read and studied pokedex entries a lot as child and now is super well versed in random pokemon facts. Which leads to him being very good at knowing what each pokemon needs. Even though Joltik freak him out, he still carries around battery packs for it to snack on.

[amor-godess-of-love]

Someone ask me to post it, so here is a silly little story I write from perspective of Black cat getting adopted by Jonathan:

I'm so lonely....

It's cold and wet in my house and rain always falls into my head. The rain ruined my house. Giants often stared at me in my house, small giants even pet me. Some give me food, but they never give me home. I hear giant once said to smaller one that:

"Black cat only brings bad luck"

I think it's true, because of my colour I never had a warm home and I'm lonely.

Now I can't even scared off the crows, I'm too weak and sick.... I just want a friend.

Suddenly I'm no longer cold, I feel safe in the arms of walking giant, he smells weird, like a weird sort of fabric and stench of chemicals, he also smells of dead trees. Crows seems to like him, will he hurt me for all the times I chase his friends?

Please I just want a friend....

My home is cold but no longer wet. I snuggles with my flock for warmth. My giant, crows said his name is Jonathan, gives me lot of food whenever I want. Jon plays with me and pets me, he likes when I purr. I liked to lay in his lap as he reads to us.

Jon calls me Phobos.

My flock brings him gifts they find, I'm also bring him gifts, he always happy when I bring him my hunts. He always says:

"Another thing I can used to test people reaction, good kitty!"

I like being good kitty.

But Jon sometimes is gone, but there is always someone to bring us food and play with. Jon always get's back and gives us extra treats in apology.

I like my giant, he also showed me to other giants.

There is one that smells of motor oil, I don't like his smell, so I hiss at him, Jon likes when I hiss at him. That one always whines after I hiss at him. He also seems to ask a lot of questions. I like him.

There is one smelling of weird leafs. I like him, he pets me and brings me treats, he calls me "Cheshire", but I'm Phobos! Still I like him.

There is another giant, she smells of many things, mostly sweets. I like her, she pets me, brings me treat and just likes to cuddle me. She brings me a lot of funny toys. I like to paw at her yellow ponytails!

There is also this other giant, she smells of her clowder. We visited her often when I first met Jon, but now visits are less frequent. I like her, she always gives best scratches and treats, she offer place in her clowder, but I like my flock better.

My name is Phobos. I'm black cat. I'm part of Scarecrow's flock. I love my avian friends and my giant Jon. He knows what it's like to be unwanted, now I make sure he is always my friend.

I'm no longer alone....

Just silly little story

Big thanks to @jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear for giving me a push to publish this.

[hopes-peak-postal-company]

For Mod Hajime, i hope this doesnt sound weird but could you do a platonic fatherly yandere imagine post with Elias Bouchard? I like to imagine he fixates on a new Institute hire who doesnt know the fears are real and just decides "Its Child time. There is nothing I wont do to make my new child happy." But he also has to work around Jon and them getting in his way because they just dont GET that he's a Father now.

A FATHER'S LOVE!

"surely you'd choose your father over your friends, wouldn't you?"

summary. getting a job at a spooky academic institute offers toms of spooky outcomes. you just didn't expect to get a father figure and a overlyprotective friend group.

contents. platonic yandere! elias; elias is a wet cat grandpa; the archivist gang are slightly yandere; happens right after season 1

✦ It was difficult. Getting by in the big London city and rent to your flat was quite ridiculously high, even for usual london rent standard. But thankfully, a position in The Magnus Institute had opened and you managed to get the spot after wrangling out your best qualities to the HR like you're trading them.

✦ Now, you were aware of what you were getting into. I mean, an institute that's notorious for having many people going MIA or dying, but this was the only job that accepted you out of the millions you applied for and frankly, it pays better than most of them.

✦ So, you worked as the institute's librarian. It shocked you to know that they have their own personal library but at the same time, you kind of expected it. After all, it is an academic institute and there's bounds to be numerous books and soucres to cite for every statement given, regardless of how strange there are.

✦ You've met a couple on the job. Some were nice and often has small talks with you while some simply comes and goes, not even bothering to talk to you unless they're checking a book out. It was fine, of course, you can't help but feel disheartened. After all, all you do is stand by, organize the library and do nothing. It gets a bit lonely sometimes.

✦ And then, one day, a certain someone came to the library and it was no one other than big boss himself— Elias Bouchard. You never met the man before, only hearing him from Rosie and the others, but he is generally well-disliked by his own staff. You had nothing to complain about him and honestly, you find his company nice.

✦ He comes to the library whenever he has free time and then would talk to you. It wasn't just small talk, not just noise coming out of his mouth to fill in the silence, but he talked to you. He told you so many things— his opinions, his likes and dislikes —and even asked you about yours.

✦ Elias would listen intently, taking in every information about yourself in a manner so ... different from how he usually carried himself. Elias Bouchard was a prideful asshole and you knew that obviously well from just his body language, and yet when it comes to you, he is oddly soft. He reminds you almost like a dad for some reasons.

✦ And your relationship with your boss became like that. You didn't mind, you understand to some degree but even still you couldn't wrap your mind around why he chose specifically you. Maybe he didn't choose or maybe he did, but either way, this outcome was better than him hating you.

✦ But then, only a few months into your job, you suddenly got promoted to assistant archivist, joining the very few others in the archives in their day-to-day life.

✦ It was ... suffocating at first. The institute did suffer damage from the Prentiss Attack as you heard from the other employees and with the archives being the main target for the worms, it was not surprise that the Archivist and his team suffered greatly. Though injured, all of them still came back in one piece so that was a good thing.

✦ It took a while getting to know the others: Martin was the quickest to befriend and he'd bring you your favourite cup of tea whenever he can. Tim was the second, jokingly flirting with you at first but he was comfortable to be around and somehow both of your intensive knowledge on memes made the two of you friends. Sasha, on the other hand, took a bit more effort but in the end, she was just as fun and cheery as the other two outside work.

✦ Jon, on the other hand... He was wary, of course, a bit of an asshole too but you were determined to let his walls down, and so was the team. He gradually came to accept (aka get comfortable with) your existence and doesn't glare you like a cat you just rudely woke up.

✦ Elias... Elias isn't too pleased with this development though as you come find. He finds every excuse in the book to have you in office, stalling you just so he could spend more time with you. He had moved to the archives for one very specific reason and that was so he can watch you carefully.

✦ I mean, how couldn't he? You were so nice to him, oblivious to the concept of the entities and you didn't even care if he gets a bit 'spooky' (as Tim puts it) at times. In fact, he claimed you as his kid the moment you seem to play along with his 'little cryptid act'.

✦ But The Archival team... Oh, did they get on his nerves. But he couldn't do anything, no, he was sure you'll know and they'll tell you about what he truly is and he couldn't risk that. He couldn't lose you to them, so he'll have to just slightly abuse his power a bit. Just to have you be by his side a bit longer.

✦ Of course, Archivist and Co. can't stand by idly and watch him take their friend! And so, everytime Elias and one of them come to your desk at the same time, it's practically a tug of war for your affection and attention.

✦ It makes you laugh honestly, seeing them fight like this. Reminds you so much like a father trying to shoo away any his kid's admirers.... Only if you knew though, then you wouldn't be laughing.

notes. hi hii!!! tysm for requesting this!! i always wanted to write for tma but couldn't. ik this is a pretty old req (i think like .... from june i think?) and i wrote this months ago but forgot to finish

reqs are alwyas open!! and dont forget to reblog any of our works here on this blog, it help us a lot!!! ty again for requesting!

[beauty-and-passion]

TMA - Chapters 101-110: Killing Jon is a national sport

Great news, everyone: we reached the 100th MAG and we’re officially in the second half of the TMA series!

We learned a lot until now, but there are still a ton of mysteries left, a Stranger to defeat, a ritual that will destroy the world, and a creepy puppet lady who (hopefully!) just wants to talk to Jon.

Let’s find out more.

<< Main Masterlist <- Previous post

_______________________________

MAG 101 - Another Twist

Okay, I was expecting something to happen, but not this.

*

Nikola Orsinov is the best

I love how funny, cute and creepy she is. She’s a perfect package of fun - and the British accent makes her lady-like too, so she’s even more adorable.

Do you want proof of that?

Proof one:

She talks to Elias like a well-educated lady

The way she repeats “So, Elias, can I call you Elias?” is hilarious

Don’t worry, Nikola: maybe the other supernatural beings call Elias “The Eye”, but for a nice lady like you, I think he’ll gladly accept to be on a first-name basis.

She talks to Elias as if Jon is a toddler

Proof two:

But sure, of course my dear! Why search for a weird powerful skin everywhere, when you have a skin full of wet cat energy to use?

And also, why not kill Jon? This season is entirely dedicated to supernatural shit trying to kill Jon.

Proof three:

She disses Jon like a queen for his bad skincare routine.

If the Unknowing fails because of Jon’s bad skin, I will die laughing on the spot and TMA will automatically become best series ever.

*

Best Boyo is back for one reason and one reason only

And just when I asked myself if we would see a full skincare treatment, Michael appears. Finally, my boyo came back from… well, from wherever he was, I assume.

And why does he come back?

This is truly the season of supernatural shits trying to kill Jon! TMA is officially best series ever.

And what’s Michael’s reason?

He doesn’t want the Circus to win

He doesn’t want the Archives to win

He wants revenge for what Gertrude/the Archives/the Eye and his gang did to him

And speaking of this…

*

The Great Twisting

The Distortion and its acolytes tried to do a “Great Twisting” - which seems like what the Unknowing is for the Stranger.

It makes me wonder: is this a normal thing, for these supernatural entities, to try and “ascend” into our world through some sort of ritual? The Distortion tried through this Great Twisting, the Stranger is trying to do the same through the Unknowing: when will the Eye try to do the same? Did it already?

*

Gertrude’s plan and Michael’s role

Gertrude’s plan to stop this Great Twisting was simple yet effective: she forced the Distortion to incarnate. She gave it a physical body. And that made the entire ritual fall apart.

Makes sense. The Distortion is a force of the unknown, something unidentified: tying it to an identity, something clear, goes against its very essence, so it's understandable it would fail to "ascend" as Great Evil Godly Terror of Lies and Deceit and Unknown or whatever.

Now, I know Michael said that poor Michael Shelley (we finally got his full name!) was “disposable” and that’s why Gertrude sacrificed him… but honestly, I don’t think that.

Sure, Gertrude was probably ready to do anything to stop the Great Twisting and she was willing to sacrifice Michael Shelley. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t trust him.

If I were her and if I had to stop a powerful godly horror by giving it a physical body, I wouldn't pick someone just because he's "prepared" and "disposable". Even the most prepared guy could crumble and fail on a mission - or decide to not get the job done and run away. And disposable people are not a guarantee of success.

My main criteria would be to find someone I can trust. Someone I know won't mess things up. Someone who will follow my map to the end, do what he has to do and be strong enough to deal with the godly horror for years and years to come. Someone I can leave with the Distortion, knowing I can trust them with said god.

*

Becoming VS incarnating

It’s really interesting the difference in how the Distortion talks about the Great Twisting…

… vs how it’s like being incarnated:

Once again, it makes me wonder: is this what the Unknowing will be for the Stranger? A “joy of becoming”, something “crossing the threshold” into itself, as if the ritual is making the barrier between our world and theirs thinner? It’s fascinating to imagine how it would make an entity feel so good, so complete.

While speaking of incarnations, Jude, Michael Crew and even Jane Prentiss seemed to imply it was a great, marvelous feeling: they all talked about it as being finally complete.

But the Distortion describes it as something unpleasant. Could it be because the incarnation was being “forced” and not requested by the Distortion itself? After all, the Distortion wasn’t searching for Michael Shelley: it was Michael who went into it.

*

Micheal’s identity crisis

This backstory explains Michael’s confusion regarding his own identity much better, as well as why he keeps referring to himself as Michael, but also not as Michael. And it makes clearer why Helen resurfaces while Michael sinks in.

In a way, it kinda reminds me of a DID system, with personality states who are all part of a whole, but also moved by their own feelings and ideas. The Distortion seems to work the same way, even though the people inside it are not the ones they once were, but only shadows of them.

Speaking of Helen Richardson: when I checked MAG 47 to remember a bit about her, I noticed the first thing she did, was to draw a map. A fucking map of the Distortion she shows to Jon.

Could this be the reason why she managed to “resurface”? Because she also had a map, like Michael Shelley? That would be very cool.

*

Peter Lukas is back again

I knew these goddamn Lukas were always here, playing a role alongside the Eye and the Archives. Now we see another confirmation: Peter Lukas helped Gertrude against the Twisting.

Soooo… should we trust the guy? I don’t know, this family is too suspicious at this point.

*

The only one!

And finally, for the first time, a supernatural entity gives Jon a compliment.

After being told he’s a bad choice, he’s stupid, he’s rude and his skincare routine sucks, finally a supernatural entity tells him something nice.

Sure, it’s in between the “I’m going to kill you” discourse, but still counts.

_______________________________

MAG 102 - Nesting Instinct

I can’t believe it: is Jon finally realizing Elias does nothing besides sitting on his lazy ass?

JON ACKNOWLEDGES ELIAS IS USELESS! The world is beautiful and I can’t stop laughing.

Ahahaha, he “overreacted”! He killed him live on tape and that’s what he considers “overreacting”! Oh my gosh, Elias, never change <3

But let’s put Elias being amazing on the side: we finally have more clues regarding the Unknowing! And it’s as fascinating as I hoped!

So, it’s a dance, with dancers and a “prima ballerina” (aka the “Danseuse Étoile”) which is our favorite creepy lady Nikola. This explains the skin too: of course, since it’s a ballet they’re staging, they need the right costumes and everyone should follow a specific role, do the right steps and keep the right position. I really want to see this ballet taking place and find out how Jon is going to stop it.

Ooookay, so Jon is getting omniscient superpowers. Which is good if you’re the Eye, but not so good if you still want to keep a semblance of humanity.

I said Elias appreciation time was over, but I lied: it’s always Elias appreciation time.

Also, bless Melanie for trying everything to kill the motherfucker. She has more balls than everyone else, I stan her. But I also stan Elias being alive and being a bitch, sorry Melanie.

So Jon calms her down, thus proving he’s now Elias’ bagman. They’re a weirdly powerful couple and I would love to see them together in action. But I also know that Elias loves sitting on his ass too much, to get up and be a man of action, so if they pair up together, I imagine Jon would be left on his own to deal with cosmic powers that want him dead. And since I don’t want him dead, it’s better if he’s paired with someone who can properly defend him.

But hey, I suppose my worries about his life will soon be over, because his cosmic, omniscient powers are growing even more. Now, he’s able to understand languages he never spoke before. I was just asking myself why this statement, when he revealed it was all written in French. Nice way to surprise the reader, Mr. Sims.

Okay, so the Hive (and its ilk) is part of the Filth. Gosh, I fear I will soon need a chart or a table of sorts, to put together every entity into their respective “family”. But I’m also scared to search for one now, because I don’t want to get any spoilers.

_______________________________

MAG 103 - Cruelty Free

A statement about an evil, supernatural pig - possibly connected with the supernatural meat. But also not, because pigs can and will eat you, if you stand still a bit too long, supernatural or not.

And I’m pretty sure of that because my uncle has pigs. Luckily for him, his pigs have always been big cowards and run away as soon as they see a human getting closer to the pen. But considering how voraciously they eat and how easily they can break open fruits and vegetables, no matter how hard they are… yep, they would easily smash and crunch human flesh as if nothing.

So no, this statement isn’t much scary, but rather something that might happen anywhere, anytime.

Well, aside from the weirdly demonic possession that pushes you to open the cage and weird long gazes from a pig who wants to either kill you or become your bestie. I definitely didn’t expect the evil pig to snuggle with Mr. Anderson like a house cat. It was funny, though.

And right after that, we get a glimpse of how Jon’s omniscient powers are working (he knows Kurt Anderson will be useful) and especially how his “persuasion powers” are working.

I’ll admit it: it was pretty cool to see Jon release the wet cat energy, make his question and get the exact answer he wants. And yes, I know this shouldn’t be a good thing, because it only proves Jon is connecting to the Eye even more… but it’s so cool! He asked Kurt his darkest secret and used it to bribe him for those documents and he did it so well! Urgh, I know I should be scared for him, but the coolness is too much to ignore it.

Oh my, the best action couple is back! So Jon talks to Daisy in the tunnels beneath the Archives, because Elias won’t see them there. Why?

Oh my gosh, Elias does something in his life. He schedules. Schedules what, how much time he’s going to spend doing nothing, aside from watching everyone with his Eye powers?

Here it is, the constant of this season: everyone wants to kill Jon. If this man survives this season, he will survive everything.

Killing urges aside, Daisy will take care of things while Jon is away dealing with shit. My question is: why are you going away without telling anything to your colleagues, Jon? Hadn’t you realized you have to cooperate with them? Still trying to protect them from you and Elias, by keeping them away?

But I can also understand his choice: his colleagues all work there and if Elias can see and listen to everything, I don’t think there’s something that stops him from looking into their minds and simply knowing of Jon’s plan.

_______________________________

MAG 104 - Sneak Preview

Oh my gosh, I was expecting Tim’s mental breakdown maybe, but not some of his background! And I wasn’t expecting to find out that Tim had a goddamn brother and he lost said brother to the Circus, because another evil clown stole his skin!

Again, this explains a lot: why Tim came to the Institute, why he knew about Robert Smirke’s architecture… and I’m afraid it tells us a lot about his future too:

If Tim had a “DEAD” sign on his head before, now the sign is flashing too. Tim is basically dead. RIP Tim, it has been a pleasure and an honor to know you.

But before dying, there is something Tim must still do, which is a wonderful back-and-forth with Elias:

I love Elias, but I love Tim too. He got my heart with the “statement of Joooe Spooky” from season 1, he still gets my heart with sarcasm.

And Elias tells Tim to stay away from the Unknowing. Uhm… very evil, I guess? I mean, he has eeeevil plans, but he’s also trying to save Tim’s life and ignore he’s already dead.

I think it just confirms Elias is the best.

But Tim doesn’t care: he knows he will die, so he’s trying to find a way to die, somehow:

It’s very sad I asked Elias the same thing two posts ago. But I suppose this just confirms my darkest fear: Tim will die. Maybe not because Elias will bash his head with a pipe, but he will. His days are numbered. And if he won’t die because of Elias, he will die by getting his revenge on the Circus.

And you know what? I would be okay with that. Because that would make Tim happy and if Tim is happy, I’m happy too.

Also, he will finally be able to rest and he deserves it.

_______________________________

MAG 105 - Total War

Okay, so despite the promising title, this was an useless statement.

Sure, the imagery of the wandering soldier, followed by an army of dead people who keep killing everyone around him, while he waits for them to finally kill him too is interesting. But, again, it’s useless for the plot.

And I know Jon acknowledged it too, just like I know we needed him to go to the Pu Songling Research Centre because the author wanted to:

show us how far Jon is going, while following Gertrude’s steps

show us his powers are growing, because now he can understand all languages

casually tell us Gerard Keay is alive?

I mean:

"I’ve chased dead end to dead end until I finally give up. I-I mean, what am I actually looking for? Gerard Keay, after he faked his death? Some long confession he left tucked away in a library somewhere, telling me the ancient chant I need to stop the Unknowing from coming to pass?"

Sure, this may be just Jon making assumptions, rather than him using his powers of absolute knowledge to reveal that my man Gerard didn’t die of a brain tumor, but he’s still alive and well. I know all of that.

However, I still cannot understand why Mr. Sims (the author, I mean) wasted one statement like this. This isn’t the first time he has done that and he did it waaaaay more in the first two seasons. But why is he still doing it? It’s weird, coming from someone with such a big attention to detail.

My possible explanations are always the same:

he liked this idea and didn’t want to discard it

he needed some fillers to reach the number of 120 episodes for season 3

this statement is somehow useful?

Even though I really doubt the third point is correct, because there have been some statements in seasons 1 and 2 that have been completely useless. Unless they all reconnect somehow by the end of the series, I doubt we will remember or consider them anymore.

_______________________________

MAG 106 - A Matter of Perspective

And just when I was ready to talk about space and solitude and this humongous creature that makes me think hey, maybe that’s the Vast… I get hit by a train of things happening all together.

Let’s start from the statement: Jan Kilbride was a familiar name, in fact Gertrude mentioned him in MAG 99. What happened to this guy? Well, aside from the weird space thing.

And speaking of that… since he talked about “existential vertigo” I felt the Vast was involved. Then “Mr. Fairchild” was mentioned and that only confirmed that yes, this is the Vast.

Mr. Fairchild chose this guy by referring to his psychiatric profile? Now I’m 200% sure there is a supernatural entity involved, this is the Vast and Mr. Fairchild was probably trying to find a new avatar for it. I mean, fucking Elias did the exact same thing and every other evil mastermind like him picks the right people by checking their psychiatric/psychological profiles.

So poor Jan Kilbride experienced the Vast the same terrifying way Robert did in MAG 21. Luckily for him, he wasn’t eaten by the universe like Robert was eaten by the sky, but it was pure luck, probably. Or maybe the universe returned to claim him, since Melanie couldn’t find anything about him and Gertrude mentioned him.

And just when I thought this was all, we got the best parts of the episode:

1) Gossip time

So let me get this straight: Martin’s crush is so obvious even the newcomers realized it 20 seconds after he introduced himself?

And they’re casually discussing Jon’s virginity like this? I am dying, please send help.

And then, as if the juicy gossip wasn’t enough, Melanie reveals Jon and Georgie used to date in the past?! So Georgie isn’t just a friend, she’s Jon’s ex! I hope Martin doesn’t know Jon hid at his ex’s house, or he would probably find a way to send another supernatural shit after her.

Don’t look at me like that: Martin is a cinnamon roll, but he’s also fucked up enough to do it.

Anyway, glad to know Jon and Martin are the canon couple. They’re not yet, sure, but it’s a matter of time. Sooner or later, these two will end up together and I can’t wait for it. I just hope Martin won’t kill Jon’s ex in the meantime.

2) Elias’ performance review

Elias pretends to do his job: that’s hilarious just like that.

But hey, once in a while, even Elias does something, so why not do Melanie’s performance review?

He asks Melanie how she find her job - aside from “being forced to stay here, trapped by a psychopath”. So it’s basically like every other job, I suppose she doesn’t have much else to say.

Melanie tells Elias he “sat up here lurking”, which is just a nicer way to say “You sit on your ass 24/7 doing absolutely nothing”. Glad to know everyone is acknowledging Elias’ uselessness, I said it since season 1.

In pure Pinky and the Brain style, Melanie does the same thing she does every night, which is plotting Elias’ demise.

MELANIE TOO CHALLENGES ELIAS TO KILL HER! Oh my god, what’s with all those characters and death wishes? Stop asking to get killed!

Ivy Meadows from MAG 36! Glad to see all characters are reconnecting to some places and/or previous statements!

So Melanie’s father died there, killed by that thing inside (the Filth?). And since Elias is a good boss and a caring guy, he wants Melanie to know the truth, so he fucking shows her the horrible way her father died.

And he threatens her to haunt her forever with that knowledge, if she doesn’t stop interfering.

Now, I know I said Melanie must be protected at all costs… but come on, this guy is an absolute bitch, how can I not stan him? Just look at this smug bastard, how he goes from being terrifying, to pretending to care with the “Oh take your time, take the day off even!”, to a hint of a devious smile when he says her performance “has been... satisfactory”. Fuck you Elias, I hate you and I love you.

_______________________________

MAG 107 - Third Degree

Ah, so Gertrude was arrested right after Gerard’s death, because she was caught in the morgue “over the body of Gerard Keay, reading from a large, strangely shaped book”.

Well, glad to know my man Gerard is alive and well. The rebel boy of my heart will come back, I still cannot believe it <3

Also, all my previous points regarding the useless statements have been thrown out of the window, because Mr. Sims found a perfect way to put them in. They’re still filler, sure, but now their presence makes sense: Jon needs them. Physically.

However, why does he need one, now? I mean, he’s doing research and he’s already getting stories from people, while retracing Gertrude’s steps. Maybe those stories aren’t big and satisfactory enough for his new Eye powers?

The statement per se, despite being useless, is also very creepy. Is the police officer an avatar of the Flame? In that case, it makes the whole interrogation even better because it would be the first time (since Michael’s conversation with Sasha) that a supernatural entity in its purest form talks with a human (Jon is not exactly a human anymore) - and even asks “Who am I?”, by knowing the human knows too. Very cool, very creepy, love it.

But also: is that police officer the same Max Mustermann we meet later on? Can Elias see the future now? I won’t be too surprised, considering the clever, cunning bitch he is.

And speaking of him: Jon ran away, he’s going all over the world in his research, saying almost nothing to not let others know where he is… and Elias casually sends him an envelope to his last location, with a statement to give him to "eat". How can I not love this guy.

Okay, Julia Montauk was NOT on my bingo card and Trevor Herbert even less. But oh gosh, it has been amazing to see them again!

First, she casually kidnaps Jon because why not - and hey, at least it loks like she doesn’t want to kill him.

Then, Mustermann is back and as soon as I read the name, I knew I’ve heard it before - and I was right! It was the placeholder name for unidentifiable men! The same from MAG 34! Back then it was for a woman (Erika Mustermann), while now it’s for a man, but still. Pretty cool comeback.

And I’m really happy to see Trevor Herbert again, he was such a cool guy! I’m very pleased to see two secondary characters cooperating. Until now, all the people who came with statements barely served any other purpose, aside from “people who have a story”. So seeing two of them being present, doing stuff and knowing each other is pretty cool. It makes the whole TMA world feel more alive.

I’m hyped now, I want to see what they’ll do together.

_______________________________

MAG 108 - Monologue

So, a statement about an actor who loves monologuing and is haunted by a creepy theater mask which is actually nothing physical aside from an image of the solitude he’s surrounded by and can’t escape from.

I’m still not sure which kind of supernatural shit is this, but it reminds me of how isolated Martin felt at the beginning of this season, which is not a very good sign.

Even worse, right after that, Peter Lukas casually enters the room and has a chat with Martin and what the fuck is happening here.

PETER: Ah, I see. I'm sorry to have disturbed you. It’s one of Elias’ little jokes. (...) PETER: Did he suggest you record a statement today? One that mentioned me? (...) PETER: Right. I have a meeting with him today. He suggested ... I’m sure he’s watching from his office, grinning from ear to ear.

Ah, now I get it: it was all because Elias was getting bored. Why not scare the shit out of his own employees, by sending his friend to collect complaints and suggestions? Sure, of course, that’s the most sensible thing anyone would do.

So Peter Lukas is:

friendly vibes

a weird supernatural shit by his own admission

Elias’ bestie

the umpteenth person to acknowledge Elias does nothing all day (“Elias Bouchard getting his hands dirty. Well, well, it must be the end times.”)

the Archives’ complaints department

Elias’ boss apparently, considering he can scold the bitch for wasting each other’s time

So if we associate the story with the guy… I don’t know, it looks like he can create “pockets” of solitude in which he can trap people. Maybe that’s what he did to Brian on MAG 100 too and the fog was another supernatural shit.

There’s still so much to know about these Lukas and this Peter is interesting. I want to know more about him - even though I fear him a bit too: if Elias told the others to not interfere with this family, there should be a very valid reason.

But also: they’re besties. So… I don’t know, I think I want to see them interacting.

_______________________________

MAG 109 - Nightfall

A good backstory, we needed it.

Or more like… a connection story? As Jon said, when we left Julia Montauk and Trevor Herbert, they were doing completely different things. And yes, I forgot he was supposed to die. But can you blame me? No one really dies in this series.

Well, except the few who dies. And the people killed by Elias. The man may be lazy, but when it’s killing time, at least he makes it sure the people stay dead.

So Trevor was following a guy he thought was a vampire, but it came out he was one of the guys related to Julia’s story. The closed eye symbol is connected to the People's Church of the Divine Host, right? And Basira was reading something about it in the previous statement. Something regarding:

an eclipse on Ny-Ålesund

the relationship between Edmond Halley and John Flamsteed

which I thought were not important, but now I suppose they will be. Also because I thought these people were all somehow related to the supernatural shit with eyes aka the Eye. Will these people come back too?

Mustermann was involved in the Unknowing? Well, it makes sense: he’s an unidentified person, of course he’s in cahoots with the Stranger and the unknown. What will they do, then? Will Jon interrogate him? Will he find out more? Will we finally meet Gerard?

_______________________________

MAG 110 - Creature Feature

A statement about a director obsessed with a non-existent film regarding a huge man-eating spider, who casually finds the book this supposed movie is based on.

Yes, I was sure it was a Leitner the exact moment he said it.

Oh my gosh Martin, I love you you huge dork <3 but also Basira is right and wrong at the same time: sure, standing with a cup of tea does nothing really useful… but let’s not forget Martin is the same guy who found out how to kill worms with a corkscrew, so maybe it’s better when he cares rather than when he leans into insanity.

Also, I wonder if we will keep this alternating between Jon and Martin throughout the next episodes. It’s entertaining to see both sides: the Archivist dealing with random shits related to the Unknowing, while the Archives deal with Elias.

And I cannot believe it, but we have an explanation regarding Elias’ lazy ass. We have a fucking explanation about why Elias does nothing all day.

They’re telling me Elias did absolutely nothing for two seasons and spends his time sitting on his ass 24/7… because he’s busy listening and watching everywhere? He can literally do nothing, otherwise he won’t know what’s happening?

That’s surprisingly clever and I’m angry it makes so much sense: this goddamn fucker literally cannot work or he won’t feed his supernatural powers! I hate him and I love him.

And yes, I will keep using his laziness to make fun of him anyway. It's too funny.

_______________________________

In conclusion

Every episode gives me a more valid reason to stan Elias and hate him at the same time. Now there’s apparently a way to get past him and I cannot wait to see what the gang will do. I’m excited ✨

But I’m even more excited to see the possible Jon-Gerard meeting. My man is alive, the rebel boy, the one who beat the shit out of Leitner: he’s alive and I can’t wait to see him again.

The next ten episodes will also be the last of this season and I’m both scared and hyped to see how it will end: how will the gang stop the Unknowing? Will Tim get his revenge and die heroically or will he survive despite the “DEAD” sign flashing on his head? Will Elias be a huge bitch once again? Will Melanie finally find a way to kill him? Will we see more of Peter “good vibes” Lukas? Will Jon come back from his world tour? Will Martin confess his feelings (as if no one already knows about them)?

We’ll find out next week. Until now, take care of yourself <3

-> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[meromidas]

Pov, local man loves his coworkers and has claimed them as His People

Jon doesn’t like people very much, never really had. Too loud, too crowded, too many fleeting touches when they passed. Never mind the fact he’s not good at interacting with others, never knows what to say, how to say it, doesn’t know how to read their expressions. It’s just too much, and he doesn’t really have time for it.

Jon has never really liked people very much, but he likes his people, and that’s enough for him. He would do just about anything for them, he decides.

(He knows, then, as Tim and Sasha and Martin take care of him like he doesn’t deserve, that they would do the same.)

random snippet i really like!! jon is a soggy wet cat, and he doesn’t really know how to deal with emotions, but he is trying his best :(

this is probably going to be the end (though extended) to a fic i’m working on, and i’m super excited to get it done! almost 3000 words in and there isnt even any dialogue yet,, tell me if any of you would be interested when it’s finished!! it is not a very happy fic in the beginning, but there is comfort! eventually…..!!

[esther-dot]

Cat was supposed to marry Brandon only for him to die brutally by the hands of king. Shortly after she married to Ned only for him to leave for war against the king. How much terrified she would have been especially when she became pregnant? One thing after is happening and it's like she didn't get the time to process.

Absolutely. Having an heir was important, the books press on that issue a lot, so on the one hand, it had to be a relief to potentially be having the Stark heir, but it was right in the middle of so much chaos and trauma. Cat's entire life is marked by being forced into difficult situations without ever having a choice in the matter. There's a lot of pain in this passage,

When the last of Edmure's foot had shuffled under the portcullis, Brienne asked, "What shall we do now, my lady?" "Our duty." Catelyn's face was drawn as she started across the yard. I have always done my duty, she thought. Perhaps that was why her lord father had always cherished her best of all his children. Her two older brothers had both died in infancy, so she had been son as well as daughter to Lord Hoster until Edmure was born. Then her mother had died and her father had told her that she must be the lady of Riverrun now, and she had done that too. And when Lord Hoster promised her to Brandon Stark, she had thanked him for making her such a splendid match. I gave Brandon my favor to wear, and never comforted Petyr once after he was wounded, nor bid him farewell when Father sent him off. And when Brandon was murdered and Father told me I must wed his brother, I did so gladly, though I never saw Ned's face until our wedding day. I gave my maidenhood to this solemn stranger and sent him off to his war and his king and the woman who bore him his bastard, because I always did my duty. (ACOK, Catelyn VI

And then after losing her fiance, marrying a stranger who might be on the losing side of the war --terrifying prospect--and who might die, she has his child, goes home to a place in a region that's unknown to her, only to find he's installed his bastard there before his true born son, the son she bore him,

He did more than that. The Starks were not like other men. Ned brought his bastard home with him, and called him "son" for all the north to see. When the wars were over at last, and Catelyn rode to Winterfell, Jon and his wet nurse had already taken up residence. (AGOT, Catelyn II)

Trauma, terror, trauma, terror. The things she could have thought that implied! I totally agree she didn't have the opportunity to process any of this. I don't think Ned processed his trauma either. I was really struck by Brandon's presence in their marriage all these years later. Even though they've come to love each other, Ned can't seem to move past his insecurity and guilt, he's living a life that was never meant to be his:

Brandon had been twenty when he died, strangled by order of the Mad King Aerys Targaryen only a few short days before he was to wed Catelyn Tully of Riverrun. His father had been forced to watch him die. He was the true heir, the eldest, born to rule. (AGOT, Eddard I)

She finished for him. "… crown prince, and heir to the Iron Throne. And I was only twelve when my father promised me to your brother Brandon." That brought a bitter twist to Ned's mouth. "Brandon. Yes. Brandon would know what to do. He always did. It was all meant for Brandon. You, Winterfell, everything. He was born to be a King's Hand and a father to queens. I never asked for this cup to pass to me." "Perhaps not," Catelyn said, "but Brandon is dead, and the cup has passed, and you must drink from it, like it or not." Ned turned away from her, back to the night. He stood staring out in the darkness, watching the moon and the stars perhaps, or perhaps the sentries on the wall. Catelyn softened then, to see his pain. Eddard Stark had married her in Brandon's place, as custom decreed, but the shadow of his dead brother still lay between them, as did the other, the shadow of the woman he would not name, the woman who had borne him his bastard son. (AGOT, Catelyn II)

Neither was able to fully process and move past the trauma their marriage was created by and in. That tragic context for their relationship makes what it became so much more beautiful though, and this passage, all the more touching:

And was it really such a terrible thing, to want a pretty wife? She remembered her own childish disappointment, the first time she had laid eyes on Eddard Stark. She had pictured him as a younger version of his brother Brandon, but that was wrong. Ned was shorter and plainer of face, and so somber. He spoke courteously enough, but beneath the words she sensed a coolness that was all at odds with Brandon, whose mirths had been as wild as his rages. Even when he took her maidenhood, their love had more of duty to it than of passion. We made Robb that night, though; we made a king together. And after the war, at Winterfell, I had love enough for any woman, once I found the good sweet heart beneath Ned's solemn face. (ASOS, Catelyn V)

Not merely a good heart, a sweet heart. Not merely a survivable marriage, but love.

[kibbletv]

[TMA] Jonathan Sims, The Archivist.

Old-ish art of my favorite sopping wet cat babygirl boyfailure Jon, AKA The Him.

@johngreenleafwhitter got me on this podcast a little while back and it is one of the best pieces of fiction I have ever experienced.

[j-s-archivist]

Jon how do you feel about being literally my wife. Our pathetic miserable wet cat man who we require to be bundled in blankets with the Admiral and brought tea and hugs by Martin. Wouldn’t that be like infinitely better than working at the Institute and having the worst time ever. Wouldn’t that just be the best.

Uhm. What?

I am deeply offended by this. Anon, I am not your wife nor am I a wet cat.

I don’t like Martin either.

[born-to-lose-writing]

Masterlist - one shots (self insert; pt. 1)

♡ - fluff, ♤ - angst, ☆ - smut, ♧ - platonic

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody cast - Bon Jovi - Guns N' Roses

Queen

Roger Taylor x reader

the most wonderful time of the year ♡ || Ao3

609 words

You watch Queen filming music videos and Roger has got a surprise for you.

Wish I Was at Home for Christmas ♡ || Ao3

2,873 words

Your flight gets cancelled due to a blizzard. Even though you and Roger hate each other, he lets you stay with him over the holidays.

My Baby Does Me ☆ || Ao3

1,121 words

Roger thinks you're cheating on him and ends the fight in his own way…

I Want You to Know ♤ || Ao3

1,371 words

You're Roger's best friend and roommate, but what he doesn't know is that you're in love with him…

One More Chance ♤ || Ao3

961 words

While on vacation with your friends, you have to share a bed with your ex boyfriend Roger.

Out Tonight ♧ || Ao3

2,269 words

You've never been really drunk and you're determined to change that with a little help from your friend Roger.

Brian May x reader

Bite ☆ || Ao3

992 words

Brian has some extra time alone with you before rehearsal…

Nightmares ♤♧ || Ao3

830 words

After a movie session with your best friend Brian, you have a nightmare.

John Deacon x reader

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1,356 words

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Bohemian Rhapsody cast

Rami Malek x reader

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2,024 words

After a weird dream about Rami, you can't stop thinking about him naked all day.

Ben Hardy x reader

Thirteen Years ♡ || Ao3

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Joe Mazzello x reader

Feeling Better ☆♡ || Ao3

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Bon Jovi

Jon Bon Jovi x reader

Always ♤♡ || Ao3

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Slippery When Wet ♡ (♧) || Ao3

2,081 words

You share a flat with Jon, who regularly serves as a model for your college photography projects. One time he suggests you use the shower as a backdrop.

Guns N’ Roses

Axl Rose x reader

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You're the only person who has ever made Axl feel really loved and he wants to keep you by his side forever.

Cookies ♡ || Ao3

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Slash x reader

Your Girl ♡ || Ao3

1,009 words

Slash gets jealous easily when other guys look at you the wrong way.

Obsession ♡ || Ao3

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Hello, I'm your boyfriend ♡ || Ao3

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Cat-and-Mouse ♡ || Ao3

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Izzy Stradlin x reader

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Walk Me Home ♡ || Ao3

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Duff McKagan x reader

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1,569 words

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1,583 words

Steven Adler x reader

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Hairstyles ♡♧ || Ao3

572 words

Steven lets you practice some hairstyles on him.

[magpod-confessions]

the whole "haha jon is a pathetic wet cat" joke is tired. it was funny the first few times but now i just roll my eyes whenever i see it. it's just unfunny and overused, that's it.

not to mention, a lot of people genuinely think that jon was stupid and incompetent, ignoring the fact that he was trying his best with the information he had?? he wasn't being stupid, he was grasping at straws.

.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Grown into A Tall Child

by laika_the_space_dog Because Damian was 7 and his mother had bested him in battle again, and the grief that took over his throat was tangible as he had been belted for his punishment. It would be nothing in comparison to the punishment he had received the next morning for his wet bed sheets- Damian was ten and his father was dead, a legacy he had fought for for years- his last hope of finding a chance to live rather than survive rotting away- Damian is thirteen and Grayson is singing him happy birthday and he’s never felt so warm and calm and maybe this is the feeling he had been chasing- Or A littles are known DC au Words: 2722, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: DCU, DCU (Comics), DC Extended Universe, Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Categories: Gen Characters: Damian Wayne, Titus | Damian Wayne's Dog, Alfred the Cat (DCU), Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Jon Lane Kent (DCU New 52), Clark Kent, Tim Drake (DCU) Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Batfamily Members & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth & Damian Wayne, Jon Lane Kent & Damian Wayne, Jon Lane Kent/Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Damian Wayne-centric, Damian Wayne is Robin, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Hurt Damian Wayne, Protective Damian Wayne, Crayonfic, Classification AU, Classification Universe, Age Regression/De-Aging, agere, Non-Sexual Age Play, hate that tag so bad, using it just for reach sakes, Age Regression AU, Protective Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson is Damian Wayne's Parent, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, he fails tho, child neglect king of the year, Bad Parent Bruce Wayne, morally dubious parent talia al ghul, she is a victim of her enviroment, that is not enough to save her or damians relationship, Bad Parent Talia al Ghul, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, csa metaphor in this is CRAZY heavy, its a lot more heavy handed then my other fic, aka the implications of Ra's Al Ghul "owning" Damians body, the untapped potential of Damian being raised in a cult, Caregiver Dick Grayson, Little Damian, uncle jason - Freeform, Classification System, Littles are Known AU, Autistic Damian Wayne via https://ift.tt/MP0weNU

[staysaneathome]

Since the wonderful @johndead answered some pressing concerns about Martin Care, decided to write a little something set in their universe!

Emil frowned at the creature sat on the countertop before him.

It was short and squat, about the size of a kitten. Its…hair? Fur? Was long and stringy, and matched the rest of its ragged appearance.

Its large eyes stared at him, unblinking and wet.

Emil blinks first, and frowned harder at the creature. His thumb hovered over the contacts in his phone.

Alexa was the most sensible one in the office, and the one most likely to know what this was and tell him with the least fuss, but she also had said when she left work that she and her boyfriend were taking a long weekend to Bath for a romantic getaway, and so any emergencies would have to wait til Monday.

Danny was probably next best, as his hyperfixations meant he could spout off detailed knowledge about any number of random subjects, but if this thing didn’t fall under that umbrella, then he and Emil would both be stumped. He was also still on that urban exploration kick, and might be bowels deep in a sewer somewhere with no phone reception.

Which left…

Emil sighs, then stiffens at the way the creature stared at him, leaning forward slightly.

He didn’t want to have to do this. But desperate times…

He hits the video call button, and waited a few tense minutes for it to ring.

“Hello? Emil, is that you?”

His heart most definitely did not skip a beat at the face filling his screen, peering at him in concern. “Lynn.”

“Hi Emil!” His boss (who he certainly did not have a crush on, shut up) chirped, a smile splitting their face. It wavers slightly. “Um. Not to be rude of anything, but you never call me outside work hours—is something wrong?”

“I got home and found something had got into my flat.” He stated. “I’ve no clue what the hell this thing is. Hold on, I’ll show you.”

He turned the phone around to face the creature. It reared back slightly, wet eyes darting between him and the screen, nose twitching.

Whatever Emil expected to happen, it was not for his boss to let out a small squeal of delight.

“Aw! Hey there buddy, hello! Oh, you’re so little, Emil he’s adorable!”

He raises an eyebrow at the creature, whose fur/hair/whatever was beginning to lift like a cat’s. “If this thing is adorable then I’m about to win Love Island. What is it.”

“Oh, oh right,” Lynn said, sounding flustered. “Well, that’s a Jon! I don’t know as much about them as I do about Martins, but they’re really fascinating creatures! A bit shy and prickly at first, but really quite sweet once you get to know them. I’ve only ever seen them in pet shops before or videos online, where did you find him?”

“I got home and found it drinking water from my sink.” Emil reports, keeping a firm eye on this “Jon” thing. “I must have not turned it off right when I left this morning—Oi. Stop that. Lynn, it’s doing something weird.”

A set of floating, glowing eyes are starting to manifest out of the air surrounding the Jon, staring hard at the phone as it bristles and lets out a low hissing noise.

“Is that the first threat display he’s made?” Lynn asks. “Didn’t he do this when you got in?”

“No,” Emil grits out, crossing the kitchen with a hand hovering over his phone protectively. Thankfully the eyes can’t follow more than a few inches, and the Jon’s hissing died down some, though it still glares imperiously at the phone. “Little bastard just walked over and stared at me the entire time.”

There’s an excited gasp from the other end of the line. “Oh wow, Emil, I think that means he likes you! Most of the videos I’ve watched say that Jons usually do a lot of threat displays to people or animals they’re not sure of. Maybe he thinks you’re a kindred spirit?”

Emil can’t help the scowl and slight flush that comes to his face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He snaps. “It’s not like I’m keeping the damn thing.”

“O-oh.” Lynn’s face falls slightly, before they smile again. Emil steadfastly ignores the pang that sends through him. “That’s fair. Not everyone has time for a pet, I guess. Though I think most shelters might be closed tonight, and I’m not sure if they open on weekends?”

Emil closes his eyes and groans. Great. Just great. Now he has to deal with a little eyeball creep staring at him for potentially two days. How’s he going to make sure it doesn’t get sick or starve during that time? He’s not even sure he has food in for himself.

“I could send you some care instructions, if you like?” Lynn offers tentatively. “There are a few good websites online where I’ve got advice for caring for my Martin before, and I think their basic needs are similar—wide, shallow bowls for food and water, soft materials for nesting in, plenty of space and enrichment, that sort of thing. There might be some differences though, because I know my Martin loves poetry—”

As if on cue, the Jon hisses loudly at the word “poetry”, it’s fur standing on end and several glowing eyes (plus one tape recorder) popping into existence around it.

“Fucking—!” Emil rears back.

“Sorry! Sorry, I shouldn’t have said the p word!” Lynn apologizes. “Yeah, there are loads of videos online of people putting a book of K-E-A-T-S behind their Jon to make him jump or start mauling it. It’s really not nice for the little guys, but I suppose since it gets their owners views they think—”

“Lynn.” Emil interrupts, before his boss can go off on another tangent about ethical treatment of pets on social media. “Just, just send me the links. Please.”

“Alright!” Lynn chirps. “I’ve also got some old stuff I had that my Martin didn’t end up using, like a carrier and toys and stuff. Would you like me to give them a wash, bring them over to see if Jon likes them?”

“Sure.” Emil says, without thinking. “Why not. I’ll be in all weekend.”

“Great!” Lynn looks almost nervous, smiling at him. “I’ll send the links and see you tomorrow then?”

It finally clicks in Emil’s brain that he’s just invited his boss (his crush) over to his place to try and help him wrangle a weird eyeball creature.

Rather than say anything sensible to abort the situation, Emil instead chokes out. “Y-yeah. I’ll send you the address. See you.”

They beam at him, and then their picture vanishes with a small bloop.

Emil puts his phone down on the countertop.

Then he promptly sits on the floor, puts his head into his knees, and screams mentally.

What was he thinking?! Sure he can just about survive during the workday, when there’s a veil of professionalism between them, and Danny and Alexa besides, but coming around to his flat?! In casual clothes, with their glow-in-the-dark nail polish and their general personality in his space?! Alone?!

He’s done for. Doomed. He may as well quit now, he’s so sure he’s going to embarrass himself and make them hate him and screw everything up forever.

There’s a weird pitter-patter sound, interrupted by small vibrations.

When he looks up, he sees the Jon is staring meaningfully down at him.

He heaves a bigger sigh. “Can’t I have a crisis in peace?”

That only makes the Jon’s eyes grow bigger and wetter, almost hungry-looking. Apparently not.

He gets to his feet and unlocks his phone. Alongside all the links Lynn has texted, they’ve also sent a picture of a much rounder, more ascetically pleasing creature in glasses, blinking happily at the camera from a nest of shredded paper, wool and scraps of fabric, and teabags.

The caption under it says “Martin says to say hello! :D”

He holds the picture up to the Jon, ready to pull it away at the first sign of hissing or floating eyes. “See this? This is cute. What do you have to say for yourself, huh?”

The Jon leans towards the screen, nose twitching, eyes wet and huge and unblinking.

It reaches out a paw and rests it against the shoulder of the Martin-picture. Then it leans its head against it.

Emil ends up slowly letting go of his phone until it is lying flat on the table again for the Jon to curl up on it.

Its unblinking eyes slide closed. It begins to make a rusty sound, almost like a cat’s purr, if a bit more…mechanical maybe? A tape recorder running, perhaps.

Emil reaches out to try and pick the phone up.

The purring stops. One eye opens and stares at him.

“Or not.” He scrubs a hand through his hair. “Hell, you’re just as hopeless as me, aren’t you.”

The Jon’s eye closes and he begins purring again at a louder rate.

Emil huffs a breath of laughter. Still. If he’s not getting his phone back soon, he’d better try and get started on the things Lynn told him about so they don’t arrive tomorrow and find he’s somehow managed to kill the Jon.

Wide shallow bowls for water, for a start…