#were the peacock alien and the baby not enough for you?

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

My dreaming brain needs to stop giving me cute little companions who depend entirely upon me for safety knowing full well I will get very attached, and then rip them away the moment I wake up. That's so cruel

[hoekaashi]

3 am Talks

a/n: i’m starting a 3 am talks series for bnha and hq. i got this idea at, you guessed it, 3 am when i was thinking about what the characters would talk about with you at 3 am. i hope yall enjoy! pairings: kaminari x reader, bakugou x reader, kirishima x reader warnings: none taglist: @suckersuki, @bakugoustanaccount​, @babydabi​ part 1 | part 2

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ conspiracies, conspIRACIES, cOnSpIrAcIeS ⇾ Beyonce and Eminem are members of the Illuminati ⇾ he will ARGUE for this one, after seeing videos of the two of them spacing out in interviews and ‘glitching’ he will never be convinced otherwise ⇾ the moon landing was fake ⇾ Denki stands by the moon being a secret alien satellite which is why he believes in the next theory ⇾ aliens have taken over the earth and are hiding in plain sight ⇾ the ‘moon landing’ was a disguise to help cover the fact that aliens had made contact with the earth and would experiment on humans to understand when, where, how, why, and what we are ⇾ pigeons are government cameras ⇾ that’s why corona is actually happening, the government is trying to change out the batteries of ALLLL the pigeons around the world ⇾ time travel is real ⇾ this poor baby wants to go to the Bermuda Triangle because he wants to go back in time to see real dinosaurs because he finds it hard to believe that they were green and brown after seeing how colorful peacocks, butterflies, birds, and other animals are ⇾ he would go off about all these ideas and even more because this boy believes in all this  ⇾ probably even has magazine/newspaper clippings that he saved in notebooks with his own comments littering the pages

“Okay, no, but listen. You’ve seen the videos too. How could he have been spacing out like that and people think it’s normal?! On top of that, that weird stuttering and stumbling over his words. He was created by the Illuminati, that’s all I’m saying.” You rolled your eyes. “Or,” you said, dragging out the word. “He was just higher than an airplane.” Denki scoffed. “That sounds so stupid, why would he be high during an interview or when commentating?” “And him being created by the Illuminati is the only logical conclusion?” “Well duh! Next you’ll probably say that the moon landing was real.” You sat up in his bed. “What are you talking about? It was?” “No it wasn’t!” He shot up too. “It was all fake! Created by the aliens so they could invade the Earth.” You looked at him with confusion written all over your face. “What are you even talking about?” “How do I know you aren’t an alien?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “You are so dense. You think pigeons are fake?” You raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms. “Yes! Do you?!” “No!” “I will convince you, if it’s the last thing I do!” He got up and rummaged around his desk, looking for his notebooks.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ now, for this boy, it would take A LOT of trust in you for him to even TALK to you at such late hours ⇾ oh boy, but once he does, all his walls come down around you in the wee hours of the morning ⇾ these talks would only ever happen on a Friday or Saturday night because he’s still a nerd top three student and wouldn’t let anyone jeopardize that ⇾ it would probably take place out on the balcony or out on the roof, his arms wrapped around you to shelter you from the cold ⇾ he would talk about where he sees himself in the future ⇾ it would be a really raw, one-sided conversation but also an opportunity for him to get things off his chest without having to keep a front up ⇾ talk about his future would eventually bleed into the goals he wants to achieve in life ⇾ it’s not even that he needs advice or someone to agree/disagree with him ⇾ it’s more that he just needed someone to listen to him without being judged by them ⇾ this is probably the most soft and real he’ll ever be with you, but it definitely won’t be the last time

His arms were lazily wrapped around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder as the two of you looked out at the city on the roof of the dorm. Neither of you could sleep so you opted to watch a movie, but the longer it played, the more withdrawn Bakugou became. You dragged him up to the roof for some air, hoping that he would eventually say something. “The more we work towards becoming heroes, the more I feel like I’m getting left behind,” he finally said. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, not replying. “Seeing how fast everyone’s improving makes me realize how naive I’ve been my entire life. Just because my quirk is strong, doesn’t mean that I’m strong.” You looked back out to the city. “How can I expect to beat All Might if I can’t even beat shitty Deku or IcyHot? I wanna be number one, but there’s still so much I need to learn.” He shifted so his face was nuzzled into your neck. “I want to be the type of hero others look up to and villains fear. I want All Might to tell me that he’s proud of how far I’ve come. I want you to be proud of the hero I become. But I can’t achieve any of that if I keep focusing on the past.” You gave his hand a gentle squeeze when he paused to tell him you were still listening. “I’ll show everyone who’s looked down on me that I was meant to be the top hero.” Removing his hands from your waist, you turned to face him, a soft smile reassuring him that he wasn’t in over his head. “I know you’ll do amazing things, Katsuki. Just look at how far you’ve come already.” You wrapped your arms around him and felt one of his hands pet your head. “I know I don’t say this enough, but I love you.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ this is another boy who would have a soft conversation with you ⇾ the brief look into his past shows that he had a lot of insecurities about himself and I feel like he’s also a bit appreciation/compliment-starved ⇾ his talk would have to do with his future too, but more so relationship wise ⇾ don’t attack me but kiri seems like the most manipulatable (is this even a word? lol) and naive out of Class 1A and that just stems from what he views as ‘strong’ ⇾ so if he were to be manipulated by villains, it would seriously crush his soul and spirit (unless he was a willing participant but yall don’t wanna have that convo) ⇾ therefore, if he were to trust someone with his heart, he would feel very lucky - you should feel lucky too, because this sunshine child trusted you enough to open up ⇾ don’t get me wrong, he seems like an open person, but how many people truly know what’s going on inside that mind and heart of his? ⇾ he hasn’t even spoken to Bakugou about any of this ⇾ he would ramble on about what he sees in the future for the two of you and what he wants out of this relationship ⇾ maybe even talk about his weaknesses with you and his insecurities ⇾ overall, it would be a really deep moment for him where he lets down his walls completely to let you in

Kirishima’s head was resting on your stomach as you carded your fingers through his hair. His head would rise and fall with every breath you took. You weren’t expecting him to start talking about the things that were weighing heavily on him. If you were being honest, you didn’t even know how he felt about the things he spoke about. “I’ve never been this open with anyone,” he chuckled. “But if anyone should know, I feel like it should be you.” “I have no idea what you’re going on about, but I’m listening.” You carried on, playing with his hair. “I just don’t feel strong.” Your hands stopped their motions and you just stared at the red hair resting on top of you. Kirishima moved and rested his chin on your stomach to look at you. “What do you mean you don’t feel strong?” “I just feel like I’m lacking in so many areas - physically, mentally, emotionally. I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to everyone else, but you just can’t help it ya know? I always wanted a flashier quirk, but I’m slowly trying to accept that I can be strong with the quirk I have.” You nodded, but still didn’t know where this was all coming from. “But I’m really thankful to have you. Knowing that I can trust you to be there for me always, that really means a lot to me. You’re always so patient with me.” Your shock quickly disappeared and a soft smile took its place. “I’m glad you feel that way with me.” “I know we’re young, but I can honestly see you in my future for a long time. I never really knew what I wanted in a relationship especially because we’re so young, but now I know. I just want to thank you for helping me in all the little ways you didn’t even know about.” Because his entire body weight was resting on top of you, you just brought his hand up to your lips and gave him a kiss. “No one is perfect Ei, even adults are still learning and growing. I hope I can stay with you for a long time.”

[tcm]

Rediscovering Bob Hope by Susan King

I once turned down Bob Hope’s offer to take a piece of his pumpkin pie. It was a week after Thanksgiving in 1991. I had been dispatched by my editor at the Los Angeles Times to interview the comic legend, then 88, for his upcoming Christmas special on NBC, Bob Hope’s Cross-Country Christmas, which featured Macaulay Culkin, Reba McEntire, Miss America and the Associated Press All-America Team (football).

Hope had been with the Peacock network for 54 years at that time and he had been doing holiday specials for them since 1953.

All press interviews took place at his famed mansion in Toluca Lake in a Vermont Country Store-decorated family room that overlooked his expansive backyard which was spread over several acres. Lunch was served during the 30-minute interview. Though he was extremely hard of hearing, Hope refused to wear his hearing aids. So, interviewers were placed on his left side at the table because his hearing was better in that ear.

We were served a delicious warm chicken salad with bacon. But the highlight of the meal was a pumpkin pie with warm homemade whipped cream. All conversation stopped while we ate the heavenly dessert. Hope still had once piece left when he forked it and proffered it to me.

“I’ll give it to you for 25 cents,” he said laughing. I didn’t have any change, so I politely turned down the offer. He smiled as he popped the piece into his mouth.

Most baby boomers like myself grew up with Hope. I remember my mother taking me at the age of five to see his last good movie, 1960’s THE FACTS OF LIFE, which also starred Lucille Ball. And on early Sunday evenings, one of the TV stations had a Bob Hope/Bing Crosby Theater, which featured their slaphappy Road comedies (1942’s THE ROAD TO MOROCCO is my fav), as well as such solo Hope hits as 1940’s THE GHOST BREAKERS and 1949’s SORROWFUL JONES, with Ball. And in the 1960s, Hope’s NBC specials, especially the ones where he entertained the troops, were must-see viewing. 

When I was old enough to finally see the Academy Awards, I found him the perfect Oscar host. In fact, he would host the ceremony 19 times either solo or as part of a team. Though he always joked that he was never nominated for an Oscar, he actually received four honorary Oscars as well as the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award.

But the quality of his movies dropped drastically in the 1960s. I remember sitting in horror in the theater during 1966’s BOY, DID I GET A WRONG NUMBER! and 1967’s EIGHT ON A LAM. And I rarely watched his specials from the 1970s on. He seemed out of touch and too conservative. Hope’s once fun shows seemed wheezy.

When I talked to Richard Zoglin for the L.A. Times in 2014 about his biography, Hope: Entertainer of the Century, he noted that the comic alienated viewers during the Vietnam War.

“He was so sure that we were doing a good thing over there in Vietnam,” he said. “He had been convinced by the generals he met over there that the military was being hamstrung by politicians and if we went all out, we would win this war in a couple of months. He hated that there were protesters out there picketing. He was from the World War II generation. He started speaking out. He would bad-mouth picketers.”

Hope died July 27, 2003, just two months after his 100th birthday. There haven’t been any major retrospectives of his classic films. In fact, the Bob Hope Airport has been renamed the Hollywood Burbank Airport. (Its legal name is still Bob Hope Airport). In a 2016 interview with the L.A. Times, Burbank commissioner Don Brown said that “Bob Hope isn’t doing it. We’ve been told by our travel agencies here and been told by the airlines that we’ve got to do something, and the name Bob Hope just doesn’t identify with this airport.”

I think it would be great if the new decade started with a rediscovery of Hope, who not only conquered film, but vaudeville, Broadway, radio and television. And he was the complete package. Not only was he funny, but he could sing and dance.

Even before he made his feature film debut in 1938’s THE BIG BROADCAST OF 1938, he had starred on Broadway in 1933’s Roberta. Hope and Eve Arden introduced the standard “I Can’t Get Started (with You)” in Ziegfeld Follies of 1936, and he and Ethel Merman turned Cole Porter’s “It’s De-Lovely” into a major hit in 1936’s RED, HOT AND BLUE. “Thanks for the Memory,” the Oscar-winning song from his first film, became Hope’s signature song and a decade later he introduced the Oscar-winner “Buttons and Bows” from his hysterically funny 1948 farce, THE PALEFACE.

Hope really came into his own with the 1939 mystery-comedy THE CAT AN THE CANARY with Paulette Goddard. It was the first time he played what would become his on-screen persona of the brash, wisecracking coward who loved women. Woody Allen later admitted his reel-life character was inspired by Hope.

Hope told me in 1991 that he had been offered a return to Broadway after he came to Hollywood, but “I got lucky after my third picture, THE CAT AND THE CANARY. I turned into box office. When Cat and the Canary came out (people) started running to the theaters. Then Paramount ran over to my dressing room with a contract for seven years. So, I signed up for seven years.” He made one hit after another in the 1940s and 1950s.

“They were not great films, but Hope is great in them,” Zoglin told me. “You can see how focused he is as a performer, how in character he is all the time. He’s good physically, and verbally he’s absolute perfection.

Film and TV historian Stan Taffel also explained to me in 2014 that Hope was as “perfect as Chaplin was. He knew where the camera was, and he knew how to pose for the camera. He didn't take his character so seriously, so we could have fun with it. I think his movies in that era are the best things he ever did.”

Save for the wan 1962 THE ROAD TO HONG KONG, the Road comedies with Crosby and Dorothy Lamour are perhaps his finest achievements. The comedic chemistry between the three is hard to match. Hope noted in my interview that he and Crosby had no idea that 1940’s THE ROAD TO SINGAPORE would kick off a successful franchise. “We didn’t care,” he said. “We used to do anything for a laugh. After about a week [into production], the director, Victor Schertzinger, went into the commissary and sat down at the table and said, ‘I got the easiest job, all I have to do with these guys is say ‘Start.’ But I don’t want to say ‘Stop.’ It was fun.”

The last time I saw Hope in person was at the taping of the special Bob Hope: The First 90 Years in early May, 1993, executive produced by his daughter Linda Hope. The special would go on to win the Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Musical or Comedy Special.

It was an extraordinary evening. I was at the front table with Karl Malden ad his wife and Telly Savalas and his wife. Les Brown and His Band of Renown was to my left. Michael Feinstein and George Burns were sitting behind me. Lamour was at a nearby table and so was Ginger Rogers. I looked to my right and saw President Gerald Ford sitting with Walter Cronkite.

Johnny Carson, who had retired from The Tonight Show opened the special in what would be his last monologue. He told the crowd that it was “astonishing” how much Hope had accomplished over his near seven-decade career, adding that the world is a “better and happier” place with Hope in our lives.

There wasn’t a dry eye int the house when veterans of several wars talked about what it meant to them when Hope came during the conflicts to entertain them.

Back in 1991, I asked if he would ever retire.

He smiled: “Not as long as I feel good. It is too much fun. God, you just have fun just doing things with people. You have fun writing. …It keeps your mind alert and keeps you thinking.”

[iicewitch]

☀️ cult of dionysus

a playlist for my friend caz link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. only as good as my god - everything everything And on the steps of my church There, I'm chasing down a red girl with my hooves upon a- Ooh - Wild Ooh - Child If they crawl out of the mud Wash them away in a flood I'm only as good as my god Burnt hair and more money 2. disciples - captain murphy Don't you want devoted followers? Who leave their families for you Give their money to you Give their bodies to you Give up their lives for you Consider you God, and will kill for you Don't you want to become a cult leader? Since the death of God there has been a vacancy open You can fill that void, here is how 3. dionysus - bts Just get drunk like Dionysus Drink in one hand, Thyrsus on the other Art splashing inside this clear crystal cup Art is alcohol too, if you can drink it, you'll get drunk fool I'm now in front of the door to the world The cheers I hear when I get up on stage Can’t you see my stacked broken thyrsus At last I’m reborn 4. good hand - turbowolf And I say No pain, no gain That's the mantra I'm repeating No sun, no rain That's the mantra I'm repeating No pain, no gain, no sun, no No pain, no gain, no sun, no rain 5. addicted to love - robert palmer Your lights are on, but you're not home Your will is not your own You're heart sweats and teeth grind Another kiss and you'll be mine 6. cult of dionysus - the orion experience Or start a secret society for the wild and free Our ideology is "You can do what you want Too much is never enough" We are the Life, we are the light We are the envy of the Gods above 7. hitting on all sevens - lyndon smith Make of me a subject caste Pressed and kept beneath thy glass Every heart thy sent in heaven Always hitting on all sevens One by one as ordered Flank to flank and facing forward Hanging by the word In chapter, verse and sentence heard 8. touch tone telephone - lemon demon Don't hang up yet, I'm not done I'm an expert, I'm the one The one who was right all along Better to be laughed at than wrong I'm an expert in my field UFOlogy, yes, it's all real Ancient aliens, it's all true I'm an expert just like you 9. sundial - lemon demon Don't mind me, I've just got some problems to work out I'm only passing through or maybe just right out Somehow something set my sundial backwards tilted and upside-down Now the shadow hand is pointing time right out of town I don't remember what it is that I just said to you I've got Anubis on my back and something in my shoe 10. mother’s talk - tears for fears It's not that you're not good enough It's just that we can make you better Given that you pay the price We can keep you young and tender Following in the footsteps of a funeral pyre You were paid not to listen now your house is on fire 11. light up the night - the protomen There is a city that this darkness can't hide. There are the embers of a fire that's gone out, But I can still feel the heat on my skin. This mess we're in, well you and I, Maybe you and I, We can light up the night. 12. pure morning - placebo A friend in need's a friend indeed, A friend who'll tease is better, Our thoughts compressed, Which makes us blessed, And makes for stormy weather, 13. aspiring fires - mother mother Baby, so you think you know crazy I think you know what you know, But what you know you don't know for sure A little advice for aspiring fires You'll get put out if you don't get a little wild Try again, try again, it ain't right You don't got the due diligence to lose your mind You're not getting it right 14. oh ana - mother mother I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god today Ante up and play that god a poker game Walk away with all our little God's spare change Playing this god it can't be good for— Ana's safety, Ana hear me ! 15. this devil’s workday - modest mouse So I ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone. And I'm gonna drown the ocean. Now ain't none o' that so wrong? I could buy myself a reason. I could sell myself a job. I could hang myself on treason. Oh I am my own damn god. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 16. kiss me son of god - they might be giants I look like Jesus, so they say But Mr. Jesus is very far away Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true That you love me and I love me And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" Yes a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" 17. personal jesus - depeche mode Take second best Put me to the test Things on your chest You need to confess I will deliver You know I'm a forgiver 18. charlie’s inferno - that handsome devil Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs They all look like ants from here Stars and crystal chandeliers Excuse me, sir! There must be someone you've confused me for If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform I go to church on sunday, truly, usually more! Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door! 19. old 45s - chromeo Don't wanna settle Or didn't you get the memo You only get a date if you're walking in stilettos This is enough to drive you mad If you think romance is dead and gone Find an old jukebox full of 45's Pop a nickel in it and it all comes back 20. down at the midnight rectory - ted neeley Down, down, down at the midnight rectory! With jiggle juice frisking under the marquee! The peacocks are strutting behind velvet ropes, Sipping away on their heavenly dope. Gimme two alleluia's and an amen! 21. elevate - dj khalil Can't stop me, can't break me (can't break) What don't kill me, gon' make me (gon' make) Shoot for the stars, no safety (no safety) And now I see clear in HD 'Cause I win, over and over again Battlin' evil, I'm hopin' to win Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins 22. come along - cosmo sheldrake We'll dance and sing 'til sundown And feast with abandon We'll sleep when the morning comes And we'll rise by the sound of the birdsongs We'll be here when the world slows down And the sunbeams fade away Keeping time by a pendulum As the fabric starts to fray 23. just one yesterday - fall out boy I thought of angels Choking on their halos Get them drunk on rose water See how dirty I can get them Pulling out their fragile teeth And clip their tiny wings If heaven's grief brings hell's rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday 24. church - fall out boy And if death is the last appointment Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom If you were church, yeah I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me 25. beast dance - kurage p Cast aside your humanity, before you have to grovel on the ground, being at the bottom of society. You want to be loved? In that case, come on. ”Roar roar roar roar roar roar” Inside the cage, ‘kay? 26. black and white - MASA Pour the gospel echoing through the world into your glass. Black&White! Practice your faith through shots and prayers. Open the bottle. Black&White! 27. sister’s mercy - hitoshizuku-p Jesus!! Pray and pray Believer, if you demand for salvation Oh Yeah!! Then pay up more and more for this Bright Red, now! Cheers!! Pour and pour When you’ve filled your stomach with this bright Red, Aa! All your wishes will come true 28. inferno pt. 2 - the buttress The depth of my breadth is unmet I'm becoming unraveled on the road less traveled I know Jesus wept But I abhor the Lord Fell on my sword Forever slept 29. let’s just live - casey lee williams Let's just live Just one day Let's forget about our problems Let's fall in love with life And just be free The sun will never fade The night won't steal our day Let's dance and laugh and love And let's just live 30. ignite - casey lee williams Fool, you shouldn't stare into these eyes of fire You're goin' to regret this little fight You don't wanna mess with me, I'm something higher You'll watch yourself suffer You'll watch me ignite 31. god’s gonna cut you down - johnny cash Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand Workin' in the dark against your fellow man But as sure as God made black and white What's down in the dark will be brought to the light 32. royals - lorde Let me be your ruler (Ruler) You can call me queen bee And baby, I'll rule (I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule) Let me live that fantasy 33. you should see me in a crown - billie eilish Count my cards, watch them fall Blood on a marble wall I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one One by one by You should see me in a crown 34. rev 22:20 - puscifer Pray til I go blind (Pray) Pray cause no one ever survives Prayin' to stay in her arms just to die longer Satyrs and saints, devils and heathens and lies 35. this must be the place - talking heads Home, is where I want to be But I guess I'm already there I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place I'm just an animal looking for a home and Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead 36. razzle dazzle -  richard gere Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle Dazzle 'em Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give 'em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather 'em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? 37. you’ll be back - jonathan groff You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone And no, don't change the subject 'Cause you're my favorite subject My sweet, submissive subject My loyal, royal subject Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever 38. no light, no light - florence and the machine No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent A revelation in the light of day You can't choose what stays and what fades away 'Cause it's so easy, To say it to a crowd But it's so hard, my love, To say it to you out loud 39. shiny happy people - r.e.m Meet me in the crowd, people, people Throw your love around, love me, love me Take it into town, happy, happy Put it in the ground where the flowers grow Gold and silver shine Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people laughing 40. a good song never dies - saint motel There was a moment, a hole opened in the sky A chance to join that pantheon For all the times they never heard your battle cry Now be an angel, sing along 'Cause a good song never dies It just reminds you of where you were The first time it made you cry The first time you felt alive 41. king of the clouds - panic at the disco Some only live to die, I'm alive to fly higher Than angels in outfields inside of my mind I'm ascendin' these ladders, I'm climbin', say goodbye This old world, this old world I don't trust anything Or anyone, below the sun I don't feel anything At all 42. battle for the sun - placebo I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun, sun And I, I, I, I am the bones you couldn't break Break, break, break, break, break, break, break 43. walk like an egyptian - the bangles All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian 44. credens justitiam - yuriko kaida and eri itoh Free, they are With no malice they sing quietly And they told me that my song was louder/lighter Their song Releases the day of all malice I want to be like them And my mind (their minds are) Free 45. 99.9 - mob choir The protagonist of this stage is me Cryin' my life, cryin' my psyche Cryin' my heart in such commonplaces Is this my ideal? Is this my mind? Ahh, I’m looking for the answer ! 46. cruel angels thesis - yoko takahasi But someday you will notice On those shoulders of yours There are strong wings To guide you to the far future. If there is any meaning In the fate that pulled us together, Then I am, yes, the Bible That teaches you of freedom. A cruel angel's thesis And then sorrow comes forth 47. peace and love on the planet earth - zach callison I guess we're already here I guess we already know We've all got something to fear We've all got nowhere to go I think you're all insane! But I guess I am too Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more Than peace and love on the planet Earth? 48. now we can see - the thermals We were born in the desert We were reared in a cave We conquered in the sun but we lived in the shade We were born on an island we grew out of the sand Never saw another creature never knew another man 49. love today - mika I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today, gonna love today I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to Love, love me, love, love me, love, love 50. where is my mind? - the pixies With your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse If there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself .. Where is my mind? Where is my mind?

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette Drabble: Daisy Chapter Thirty-Five: Distance

There’s a Daisy Chapter Thirty-Four: Distance

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Adrien grumbled through gritted teeth as he continued to struggle against Ladybug’s yoyo keeping him bound, upside-down, to the spire of Sainte Chapelle. He hissed in pain as the wire dug into his wings.

“Have we met before?” Ladybug frowned as she studied him. “I think I would remember you. Typically, Papillon’s supervillains are fashion rejects, but you actually look…” She smiled and chuckled as she eyed him up and down.

Adrien blinked, forgetting about the pain momentarily as he realized that, one, she didn’t recognize him, and, two, she was flirting with him…sort of. “I’m not akumatized.”

She laughed. “Oh, you’re not? What are you, then, some kind of space alien? Last time I checked, normal Parisians did not have butterfly wings.”

“I’m really not,” Adrien snorted, jaw clenching. “And my wings are actually kind of sensitive, so if you could kindly let me down, it would be much appreciated.”

Her eyes narrowed.

His face contorted in pain.

“Are you a sentimonster?”

“No!” he snapped. “I’m a Miraculous user, and I—” Adrien interrupted himself to hiss out a curse in Russian. “—am in a lot of pain right now, so if you could please—Hold on a second.” He cut himself off again as an idea occurred to him. He closed his eyes in concentration, and his wings melted back into a tailcoat in variegated shades of black and blue.

The yoyo tightened to accommodate the disappearance of the wings, leaving Adrien still tied upside down to the spire, but at least he was no longer seeing spots in his vision from the yoyo cord digging into him.

“Okay. Better,” he sighed, not bothering to hide a pout. “But could you please let me down? I’m not an enemy.”

Ladybug seemed to take all this in stride as she laughed, inspecting Adrien a little more closely. “You’re a Miraculous user?”

Her tone was incredulous.

“Nice try, but there’s only one Butterfly Miraculous to my knowledge, and it’s currently in the hands of a psychopath…unless you’re trying to tell me that you’re Papillon,” she scoffed.

Adrien frowned. “Nino hasn’t come tattling to you yet, has he?”

That caught her off guard. The mildly amused expression dropped off her face to be replaced by an intent look of worry. “Wh-What?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Where exactly were you a couple hours ago when that sentimonster showed up? I mean, I know the situation was resolved in less than fifteen minutes, but usually you’re on site pretty quickly. Don’t tell me you let your guard down with Papillon being away for so long. Tsk, tsk, Milady,” Adrien pretended to chide.

Ladybug gasped, eyes going as wide as dessert plates as her mouth dropped open and she retracted her yoyo.

Adrien toppled to the roof in a graceless heap. Butterflies didn’t land on their feet like cats were said to…then again, Chat Noir didn’t typically stick the landing either, so…maybe it was just an Adrien thing.

“Ch-Chat Noir?” Ladybug sucked in a sharp breath.

Adrien retrieved his top hat, got to his feet, and dusted himself off, adjusting his costume before dipping into a bow with a flourish. “Swallowtail. I’d say ‘at your service’, but I think half a decade is long enough to throw myself at a girl and put my heart at her mercy. At this point, I’d just be embarrassing myself.”

The last shred of confidence evaporated from Ladybug’s face. “Wha-Wha… Wait. How? What? What did I miss?”

Adrien shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest, affecting a nonchalant manner. “Mayura only sent her monster to lure us out. Apparently, she and Papillon are having a baby,”

Ladybug’s eyebrows narrowed, and her mouth dropped open in confusion mixed with horror and mild disgust.

“so he’s retiring,” Adrien continued. “She handed over his Miraculous to ensure that he couldn’t go back. Mayura is still out there, but it looks like Papillon is out of commission. That’s not to say that they won’t use the Peacock Miraculous in the future to cause trouble, but at least we got Nooroo back.”

“So, what? You decided to take a joyride instead of bringing the Miraculous to me so that I could get Nooroo back home safely?” she scoffed, balled fists going to her hips in frustration.

Adrien froze, staring at her in shock. Emotionally, it felt the same as getting slapped by his mother on occasions when he’d press and press and press until he hit on a sore nerve and Émilie would finally snap, leaving Adrien stunned and hurt and wondering what he’d done wrong, knowing that he had done something wrong.

“I can’t believe you,” Ladybug snorted tiredly, the irritation leaving her. “Five years later, and you’re still just as reckless as always. Why can’t you ever just think, Chat Noir?” she pleaded, exasperated at her partner.

He never took anything seriously. He was always goofing off and flirting and joking and leaving her to make the plans, solve the problems. It was exhausting.

Adrien slammed down his emotional shutters, sealing the hurt off behind them. He forced himself to reply unconcernedly, aloof, apathetic. “Excuse you.” He gave his head an indignant toss. “That’s Swallowtail, thank you, and Nino was in charge of talking to you and Maître Fu, but Nooroo is going to be staying with me for a while. Until he wants to come back. Now, I don’t know if that will be a week or a year, but he’s on vacation until further notice.”

“Vacation?” Ladybug blinked uncomprehendingly, as if she thought she’d misheard.

Adrien nodded. “He spent nearly two centuries lost and alone, and for the past five years he’s been with a nutcase who abused him. Ladybug, Papillon barely fed Nooroo. He kept him isolated, barely let him go out…. I know what that feels like, how horrible it is to be cut off from everything…everyone,” Adrien reminded her, letting a bit of emotion slip back into his voice.

The lines that had already formed in her forehead deepened.

“Nooroo hadn’t gotten a good look at the Eiffel Tower before today,” Adrien stressed, trying to sell his point. “That’s what we’re doing out transformed, My Lady. I’m showing Nooroo how beautiful our city is…. He deserves to experience a little beauty after years of being seeped in nothing but fear and negativity. He deserves the chance to make some new, happy memories. So I’m going to take care of him until he feels ready to return to the Maître and the others.”

He was tempted to tack an “…okay?” onto the end, but he didn’t want to sound like he was asking her permission. This was something he had decided, and he knew deep down that he was right, that this was something he needed to stand up for. He may have let others walk over him in his own life, but this wasn’t for himself. This was for Nooroo, and it was important.

Ladybug scrubbed at her face with a hand and sighed in frustration with herself. “I’m sorry, Cha—Swallowtail.” Shamefacedly, she looked up to meet his gaze. “I was too hasty jumping to conclusions…. I apologize.”

Adrien nodded slowly. Her apology didn’t take away the fresh hurt she’d heaped on top of the crushing pile already pushing down on him, but he could tell she was sincere, and he was too tired to be petty.

“Apology accepted.”

She smiled weakly, tentatively. “Thank you….” And then she held out her hand, palm up. “Swallowtail, I think what you’re trying to do is good and important, but Maître Fu can take care of Nooroo just as well. Please give me back the Butterfly Miraculous so that I can take him home where he’ll be safe.”

Adrien scrunched up his nose, suddenly finding himself not so tired any longer. “No. Nooroo wants to stay with me.”

Ladybug reinforced the edges of her flimsy smile, trying to keep it in place. “Swallowtail, we really need to think about what’s best for everyone.” She took a step closer.

Adrien retreated the same distance. “He’s no trouble. I’ve already got the kitchen making miniature banana cream pies for him, and my bed’s big enough for an orgy; it’s no trouble just me and two kwamis.”

“Swallowtail,” she repeated as if she were talking to one of the children she babysat. “We really can’t have multiple Miraculouses out like this unless it’s necessary. It’s too risky. I mean, there’s a reason why I never let anyone keep theirs after a battle, not even the people I trusted most. We just can’t take that chance.”

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. “Speaking of people you supposedly trust, when are you going to tell Alya your identity?”

Ladybug gave a start, utterly thrown by the shift in the conversation. “What? Never! I can’t tell her! It’s bad enough that you and Nino know. It’s too dangerous, Chat N—ugh—Swallowtail!”

“But Papillon’s gone,” he argued.

She shook her head vehemently in a rather Marinette fashion. “But Mayura’s still out there. You said so yourself that they might come back. It’s too dangerous to just go around telling people our identities casually.”

“I don’t feel like telling your best friend is ‘casual’, Buginette,” he remarked dryly, irritated at her perpetual stubbornness concerning the identity issue.

“It’s one thing if she figures it out like Nino did or if we’re in some kind of highly irregular situation where I have to tell her, but…” Ladybug bit her lip, pigtails swinging side to side as she shook her head yet again. “Even if Mayura wasn’t an issue, it would still be too great a risk.”

Caught by surprise, he openly scoffed. “What? What do you mean? With Papillon and Mayura gone, we’d be safe.”

“No,” she contradicted, her cerulean eyes piercing his pale blue ones. “Tikki’s talked to me about it over the years, but…well, you know what it’s like to be a celebrity. The crazy fans, the stalkers, the people who want to hurt you just because you’re famous or you have money or they’re jealous you’re so pretty or your father ruined their life somehow. Papillon and Mayura aren’t the only ones we need to be worried about, Chaton. And did you ever think that maybe these powers exist for a reason? So far we’ve been fighting against another Miraculous user, but that’s not what the Miraculouses were originally meant for. What if some other evil rises up that we need to fight? Just because Mayura and Papillon are out of the picture for now, that doesn’t mean that it’s safe. No one can ever know who we are. We can’t ever tell.”

His face fell, all heat suddenly sapped from his body.

“…You were never going to tell me who you were…were you?” he realized.

She looked away, staring unseeingly out at the Left Bank. “Tikki has told me about how she’s lost others before. I’m not willing to put myself and the people I love in danger like that, but I also didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that. I knew how much you were looking forward to knowing. I didn’t have the heart to tell you it could never be, but…”

“I see,” Adrien muttered. “Nice of you to spare my feelings.

“Chaton, don’t,” Ladybug sighed. “This isn’t about you. This isn’t even about me. This is bigger. This is the safety of Paris, maybe even the world. We’re not at liberty to just think about ourselves.”

“Is that what Tikki told you? Your kwami sounds like a stick in the mud, Princess,” he snorted, changing the cross of his arms. “It doesn’t sound like she cares about you much either. Plagg would never make me do something that would hurt me.”

“Neither would Tikki!” Ladybug retorted hastily, hackles raised in defence of her kwami. “Tikki cares about me! You don’t even know her, so don’t judge so fast. She has a lot of responsibilities that fall on her shoulders because your kwami is an irresponsible slacker!”

“He is not!” Adrien riposted, fingers tightening around his biceps as the hair on the back of his neck began to stand up. “It’s not like you know him either, so don’t pretend like you’ve got him figured out. Do you know how hard Plagg works to keep me functional? I’m exhausting, so Plagg doesn’t have the energy to think about all this bigger picture crap like Tikki does.”

“Excuse you!” Ladybug snapped. “Tikki works just as hard as Plagg does coaxing me through meltdowns and trying to keep me from self-destructing.”

Adrien stared at Ladybug, all the anger and frustration draining from him once more, leaving only cold and sadness. “…You know, we used to get along. What happened to us? Now we’re like a couple going through divorce, arguing over who gets the roll of aluminum foil.”

Ladybug’s gaze dropped to the roof in shame. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Look. I’m sorry. I’m…personal stuff. This isn’t just about you. A lot of things in my life are stressful right now, and I’m just trying to hold it all together and not fail miserably at everything and meet everyone’s expectations and not be a colossal disappointment. You may have noticed, but I’m doing a garbage job of it.”

She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Could you please work with me here and give me the Miraculous so I can take it somewhere safe?”

“It’s safe with me,” Adrien muttered, the edge gone from his voice.

She shook her head sadly. “What if it’s a trap? What if Mayura followed you back home? What if someone sees you with it? What if it gets lost or stolen again?” she enumerated, her Marinette penchant for catastrophizing kicking in. “Nooroo needs to go back to Maître Fu’s…. So…please?”

She held out her hand once more, entreatingly.

He looked at her for a long time, contemplating. Could she be right? Maybe Maître Fu was better equipped to take care of Nooroo than Adrien. Maybe Adrien was just causing problems.

He shook his head, and his tailcoat turned back to wings. “No. I’m sorry, My Lady, but I think this conversation is over.”

His wings gave a flap, lifting him a meter off the ground.

“Sorry,” he repeated. “See you around, okay?”

Before Adrien had the time to gasp, Ladybug whipped out her yoyo and lassoed him yet again.

Adrien dropped to the roof with a thud and a stifled scream as the wire bit into his wings and his shoulder collided hard with the shingles.

Ladybug winced as she realized what she had done. “I’m so sorry, Chaton!”

Adrien’s wings changed back into a tailcoat in defeat as he hissed a curse under his breath and struggled incrementally to his knees and then feet.

“Was that really necessary?” he grumbled sourly.

She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Reflexes from dealing with supervillains. Are you okay?”

Adrien sighed. “I’m starting to rethink the wings. They’re kind of a large target area, and they’re really sensitive. I don’t think they’d be good in battle…. Could you let me go now?”

“Will you give me the Butterfly Miraculous, if I do?” Her tone was tentatively hopeful.

He scowled at her.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I didn’t think so. Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.” She cautiously began to approach, tightening her grip on her end of the yoyo.

Adrien gave a snort that spoke of more confidence than he actually felt. “What are you going to do? Rough me up? Man. We really have sunk low as partners, haven’t we?”

“If you would just give me the Miraculous,” she muttered sullenly.

“You sound like Papillon,” Adrien remarked tauntingly, inching away, struggling against his bindings as he retreated.

“Adrien, stop being difficult,” Ladybug groaned.

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with my father. Now you’re starting to sound like him,” Adrien laughed darkly. If he could just get his miniaturized cane sword off of his belt, maybe he could cut through her yoyo string.

In a last-ditch effort, she resorted to begging. “Chaton, please.”

“Cute nicknames aren’t going to get you anywhere, Princess,” he growled in frustration at her and the yoyo keeping his arms pinned fast to his sides. He jerked backwards, still fighting even though he got the sense that it was hopeless. “I’m not your cat; you didn’t want me.”

She flinched as if his reproach had physical form.

“I don’t want to do this.” She gave the yoyo string a tug, reeling him in.

“Then don’t,” he retorted sarcastically. “No one’s making you be a tyrannical jerk.”

“You don’t get it,” she groaned. “It’s my job, my responsibility. I need to take Nooroo back to the Guardian where he’ll be safe and secure.”

“What about taken care of?” Adrien challenged. “What guarantee do you have that he won’t just put Nooroo back in the box with the others and not let him out for two, three, four hundred years? Don’t you think Nooroo deserves to experience life a little? See Paris? Lie out in the sun? Watch TV? Eat whatever he feels like whenever he feels like? Don’t you think he’s entitled to a little human kindness after so long lost and forgotten about and mistreated?”

She pursed her lips, frowning, hesitating.

He inhaled deeply and played his trump card. “I know you’re always telling me to use my head, My Lady, but this time I’m telling you to use your heart instead. What if it were Tikki? Wouldn’t you want someone to take care of her? Spoil her a little bit before shoving her back in the box?”

Her eyes squeezed shut, and she shook her head, trying to shake off his words. “The Miracle Box isn’t some prison, Adrien. Nooroo will be safe and reunited with all of his friends.”

She opened her eyes to entreat once more, “Please. Give me the Miraculous.”

“No,” he answered simply but with finality. “Nooroo’s staying with me until he decides otherwise. Maybe that will be tomorrow. Maybe that will be next week, but that’s up to Nooroo, not me, and not you.”

She sighed, and, then, before Adrien could blink, she was on him, a flurry of hands rifling through his clothing, searching for the Miraculous.

Adrien stumbled backwards, caught off guard by a flashback of amorous fans pawing at him, trying to rip off his clothes, touching him without permission, restraining him.

Panic and fear slammed into him like a billboard, and he couldn’t think.

He couldn’t hear Nooroo over their mental link trying to get him to reach out for other people’s positive thoughts and emotions to stabilize his own. He couldn’t feel Plagg digging his claws into Adrien’s shoulder in an attempt to center Adrien and bring him back into the present moment.

In the absence of feeling and hearing and thought, all Adrien could do was obey his instincts, and his instincts were telling him to flee.

In his scramble to get away, he lost his footing. He didn’t realize that he’d been backed up against the edge of the roof, so he stepped back into empty air and nearly took Ladybug with him over the side of Sainte Chapelle.

Ladybug screamed, clutching at the yoyo string keeping her partner from plummeting, clutching at the side of the roof keeping her from tumbling after him. It only took a split second for her to regain her wits and begin to pull the both of them back up safely onto the roof.

Meanwhile, Plagg was buzzing around Adrien’s head, trying to get a response out of his chosen. “Kid!” he screamed. “Adrien! Adrien, just breathe, okay?” he attempted to coax.

“Is he okay?” Ladybug demanded in a pinched, strangled voice as she breathed heavily, trying to come down from the exertion and adrenaline.

“Of course he’s not okay!” Plagg snapped even as he restrained himself from clawing her face off. “Can’t you tell when someone’s having a panic attack?! Back off! Stop touching him!”

Ladybug jerked back as Plagg returned his attention to Adrien who still looked shell-shocked.

“Adrien, can you name three things you see?” Plagg coached, trying to pull Adrien back into the here and now.

Adrien shook his head, dazed.

“Well, at least he’s responding now,” Plagg grumbled, flying up to pet Adrien’s hair. “How about two things you hear?”

Adrien continued to shake his head. “You…my…” He swallowed hard. “…my h-heart.”

“Good!” Plagg praised. “Very good! How about one thing you can feel?”

“Gloves,” Adrien answered a little more quickly, gaze coming into focus.

“Three things you can see?” Plagg prompted.

Adrien nodded. “You. Sky. Rooftop.”

“Good,” Plagg soothed, giving Adrien’s head a pat. “…Okay?”

Adrien nodded again, slowly lowering himself to lie on his back on the roof. “Okay,” he mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes. “…I can move again,” he observed.

“Yeah. She let you go once she pulled you back up onto the roof,” Plagg explained, perching on Adrien’s chest where he could simultaneously watch over his chosen and glare threateningly at Ladybug.

“Okay.” Adrien let out a tired sigh. He felt limp and boneless, like a lump of clay waiting to be shaped, unable to get up on his own. “Just…give me a minute.”

“Sure, Kid,” Plagg reassured. “Just breathe.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Ladybug ventured tentatively back into the conversation. “I didn’t know. I…I mean, he’s a model; he gets manhandled all the time. How was I supposed to know he’d freak out? I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien mumbled, trying to reassure her.

“It most certainly is not!” Plagg hissed. “She pushed you off a building!”

“I think I did that myself,” Adrien chuckled weakly.

“Are you okay?” Ladybug timidly inquired, voice soft as she inched closer, coming up beside him.

He did a quick mental scan, taking stock of his condition: heart fluttering, breathing irregular, thoughts a whirl, energy sapped.

“I will be,” he assured. “The attacks are just a little draining.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding. “I get really tired after mine.”

He nodded, arm still thrown over his eyes. “…I…was kidnapped a couple times.”

Ladybug gasped, halting in her slow advance up towards his head.

“When I was little, attempts were more common. There’s a reason I have a bodyguard,” he explained. “When I was older…I mean you talked about the perils of being famous before. Some fans just want to rip off a piece of a shirt as a souvenir, but others…some people are convinced that they’ve been chosen by God to have my children or that aliens have been sending them messages about how they’re meant to be with me, and—”

“—Kid, breathe,” Plagg reminded as Adrien’s words began to trip over one another, tumbling out in a breathless stream.

Adrien inhaled slowly before continuing in a quiet, anxious tone, “It’s not your fault you didn’t know because I’m really handsy with people I’m comfortable with, so I probably gave you the wrong idea about where my boundaries are as far as people touching me, but…” He took another deep breath. “The truth is, I get a little freaked out when people just grab me and try to pull my clothes off because I’ve been assaulted before.”

Ladybug began to gasp again, but no sound passed her lips, her vocal chords seizing up in shock and horror.

Adrien immediately backpedaled. “I mean, that’s what it’s called, right? When people you don’t want touching you try to kiss you and get your clothes off and-and touch you in inappropriate places and—but it’s not a big deal. They’ve never actually gotten my clothes off, so I guess it’s only attempted assault. And I guess it doesn’t count anyway because I’m a guy, but—”

“—It counts, Adrien,” she growled in a way that told him the matter wasn’t up for debate.

Adrien slowly pulled back his arm and tentatively peered up at her as she hovered over him, her face bereft, pained, and yet fierce…angry.

She looked like she was prepared to go out and burn down Paris for him, hunt down those who had hurt him and make them pay. She looked like she wanted to make sure no one would ever hurt him again.

“Oh,” he breathed, losing his train of thought.

How was it possible that she didn’t love him? He could see the depth of her feelings for him in her eyes.

He was afraid to use Nooroo’s abilities to scan her and check. He was afraid of not finding love after all. He was a mess. Maybe he was just imagining the look in her eye. Maybe he was projecting how he felt onto her.

She tentatively reached out a hand, pausing centimeters away from his hair. “May I?”

He nodded, not quite sure what he was agreeing to.

Her fingers gently began to trace slow patterns against his scalp.

His eyes fluttered closed, and he melted into the moment with her, letting all that stood between them go.

His head ended up in her lap at some point, both of her hands working their magic, turning his brain to mush. His body went pliant, and he began to purr as he nuzzled her thigh.

She laughed, and her giggle was musical. “You can still do that even when you’re not transformed?”

“When I’m happy,” he replied lethargically, the majority of his mind offline. “When I feel safe.”

Ladybug’s heart lurched, but her fingers kept moving. She was surprised that she could still make him feel happy and safe enough to purr after everything they’d been through recently.

“Oh, Minou,” she cooed warmly. “My Minou…”

Time slipped away from them, but, eventually, fingers came to a stop, and Adrien’s eyes slipped open.

“How are you feeling?” Ladybug inquired softly.

Adrien sighed, sitting up and giving a stretch as he came back to himself and the reality that was the roof of Sainte Chapelle.

“I’m…good,” he decided. “Thank you.” He smiled at her sheepishly. “Sorry about going all cat.”

She shook her head, a serene smile on her own face. “I like cats. I’ve never been able to have one because of the bakery, but I’ve always found petting them to be relaxing.”

“Well,” he chuckled impishly. “If ever you want to pet a cat, I humbly but wholeheartedly offer you my services.”

She rolled her eyes, giving his nose a poke like old times. She’d done it automatically, and only after her finger was already on his nose did she stop to think that maybe things had changed between them and she shouldn’t be doing things like that anymore.

But he was laughing and smiling at her. He looked happy and carefree, just like her beloved partner Chat. It was as if nothing were wrong between them.

She decided to go with it, to let things be normal. She’d been craving normalcy for months.

“Are you busy right now?” he asked, still chuckling.

She shook her head. “No. Why?”

“Wanna ‘patrol’, as Alya calls it?” He snickered at the term Alya had invented on her blog for when she spotted Ladybug and Chat Noir out and about when there wasn’t an akuma.

Ladybug cracked up. “What? You mean chase each other over the rooftops or have an impromptu picnic or go hang out on the Eiffel Tower?”

His laughter harmonized with hers as he grinned wickedly. “‘Patrol’ sounds so much more responsible and heroic than ‘play tag’. Let’s use Alya’s word.”

Adrien’s wings unfolded as he smirked and booped her on the nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

He took off as she blinked after him for a moment.

“Hey!” she called to his retreating back. “No fair! You can fly!”

He just laughed, looking over his shoulder to see her dashing across the roofs after him, making up the distance with the help of her yoyo.

“You’re just jealous that you didn’t think of adding wings to your costume!” he shouted back at her.

This only fueled her competitive streak. She caught him in less than thirty seconds, and then he was off after her, heading onto the Left Bank, past their school and the bakery and into the Latin Quarter.

Back and forth their game went, past the Panthéon, through the Jardin du Luxembourg, onto the roof of Saint-Sulpice, and back up towards the Seine near the Musée d’Orsay. They looped down, landing on the roof of the Hôtel des Invalides, its golden dome shimmering in the evening sun.

Adrien grabbed Ladybug, catching her around the waist, exclaiming, “Got ya!” as she giggled her head off.

The laughter eventually tapered off as time passed and Adrien didn’t release her. She turned in his hold to meet his gaze and study his face, hoping to discern his intentions.

Adrien’s arms settled around her, his hands alighting on her hips even as hers found his chest.

Their faces were less than half a meter away as they both breathed hard from the chase.

He stared into her eyes as she returned the favour. There was longing and want in her half-lidded, inviting gaze.

A fetching pink colour dusted her cheeks, and he could feel his own skin matching her rosy hue.

His body ached for her. His heart ached for her.

She stepped in closer, her thighs brushing his, her hand going to his cheek. She stared at him in wonder, watching the delicate, blue butterfly wings airbrushed at the corners of his eyes turn purple as he blushed.

Wordlessly, they mutually agreed to lean in.

He would have kissed her if not for the timely intervention of a stray thought: the week before at the graduation party, her telling him that she didn’t love him.

This thought was accompanied by others. That day in the Tuileries came back to him, her disappointment, her rejection. Pain. All the pain he had felt over the past two months…the past five years. The betrayal, the hurt, the ache, the insecurities, the feeling of not being good enough, of being unwanted.

She didn’t love him. She didn’t want him.

He pulled back with a gasp. “S-Sorry.”

Her eyelids fluttered in a daze as she tried to piece together what had happened. She was flush against Adrien, in his arms, about to kiss him, and then…

Then he was a meter away, looking frightened, moving back, going to sit at the base of the golden dome, looking out blankly at the Grand Palais to the north across the Seine.

“It’s…okay,” she replied jerkily, still trying to regain her bearings. Hesitantly, she went to sit next to him, casting him tentative glances. “…Are you okay?”

He shook his head and muttered, “That shouldn’t have happened,” by way of explanation.

She had no words to offer in response. What was the good of arguing that they had clearly both wanted it to happen…up until the point where he suddenly didn’t anymore? There was no point in asking if she’d done something wrong. She knew the answer. She’d been doing everything wrong for years and years: rejecting Chat, idolizing Adrien, running away from him because she was scared and overwhelmed and unsure of how to help him…sure that she couldn’t help, sure that she would only make it worse.

“…Are you okay?” she repeated gently.

He shook his head again. “How’s your boyfriend doing?”

Ladybug winced.

How was it that merely being in Adrien’s presence was enough to wash Luka from her mind?

“He’s…” She grimaced. “Wonderful. Too wonderful. Too good for me.”

Adrien chuckled, smiling gently as he gave her a soft look. “I don’t know if anyone is actually good enough for Luka Couffaine, but of this I’m certain: you two fit one another. I don’t know if anyone is actually good enough for you either.”

She let out a bark of laughter that sounded more like a scoff. “You are biased and wrong.” She let her shoulder bump his.

He clicked his tongue and returned her nudge. “I am biased and right. You are two of the most wonderful people I know…. You deserve to be happy together.”

He left out the “even if that means misery for me” part.

Ladybug shook her head, blowing out a long sigh. “I told him about the mess with you on Sunday…more or less…what I could tell. I’d told him when he asked me out that I’d be emotionally cheating on him, but I don’t think he really got it. He gets it now…and I’m surprised he didn’t break up with me. Part of me wishes he had. That’s what I feel like I deserve.”

Adrien snorted. “He’d never break up with you. He’s been in love with you since the day you two met. Even though he’s dated other people, he’s never stopped loving you. You’ve always been number one in his heart.”

Ladybug hummed thoughtfully, unconvinced.

“Princess, this is the guy you’re going to marry,” he laughed sadly, sounding so sure of himself. “Seriously. I give you a month to get over whatever residual guilt and confusion you’re still dealing with because of me, and then you’ll only have eyes for him just like he only has eyes for you.”

She smiled half-heartedly, setting her hand down next to his on the lip at the base of the dome of the Hôtel des Invalides. “I’m partially amused by the fact that you’re an idealistic romantic about my love life in general, not just my love life as it concerns you.”

A hint of a frown curled between his brows. “What do you mean?”

She reached out to pat his arm before setting her hand down by his once more. “Just…the things you said about the two of us being picked by destiny for each other, and now Luka and I are a perfect fit, made for one another. Love at first sight…being his one true love who he couldn’t forget even when he was with other people… I’m really sorry, Chaton, but life isn’t actually like that.”

He turned away, looking back out towards the Grand Palais.

“I’m not saying this to be mean or hurt you, but this isn’t like the fairytales your mom used to read you. This isn’t like all the plays she was in.” She tried to break it to him gently, but she didn’t seem to be succeeding. “Real life doesn’t follow fairytale rules.”

Adrien bit his lip and tried to ignore her. He needed her to be wrong. He needed to believe in good being rewarded and evil being punished and happily ever after and someday my prince will come. If none of that were real, what guarantee did he have that he’d eventually work his way out of his current situation and one day find happiness?

“I wouldn’t set your hopes on being in my wedding to Luka,” she cautioned. “He’s going to realize that he can do better, that I’m not the only person he can love.”

Adrien snorted, giving his eyes a roll.

“I’m serious,” she insisted. “He told me that two years ago there was someone he was absolutely gone on…that it felt like his heart had been dead after her…until me…. He would have married her. I could tell…so don’t marry me off to Luka yet.” Tentatively, her hand found his, resting on top of it and giving it a squeeze.

Adrien blinked at her owlishly. “Two years ago?”

Ladybug blinked back, confused as to why Adrien was fixating on this particular detail.

He frowned, looking back out towards the Seine, doing some mental math. He knew that the last person Luka had mentioned being in love with was a girl named Babette, but that relationship had ended because Luka couldn’t stop thinking of Marinette. That had been a few months before Luka and Adrien had become close in March, and Luka hadn’t dated anyone during the time that he and Adrien were friends. It must have been after Gabriel abruptly ended Adrien’s visits to the Liberty in mid-August.

Ladybug’s brows furrowed, causing the top of her mask to scrunch up in concern. “Are you all right?”

Adrien blinked again, coming back into the present.

“Where’d you go?” Ladybug wondered.

Adrien shook his head.

“…You know…you don’t sound mad or resentful,” she observed, threading her fingers through his.

“I am mad and resentful,” he sighed, not looking at her. “I’m also exhausted and resigned. …Something about the stages of grief not being linear.”

“But…you’re not mad at Luka, are you?” she hesitantly pressed.

“No,” he affirmed. “Luka didn’t do anything wrong. I’m jealous of him and envious, but…I mean, what is there to be mad about? The better man won.” He shrugged as nonchalantly as he could manage. “What’s the point of getting angry at him because I wasn’t good enough?”

She opened her mouth to tell him that that wasn’t true, but he steamrolled over her.

“No, I’m mad at myself and at you and at Nino.”

Ladybug winced, feeling very small. “That’s…I mean, not good, per se, but…good for Luka. He was worried that you might hate him now.”

Adrien’s head whipped around to stare in confusion at her. “What? No. I mean…I would think that he hated me now that he knows about how I’m mixed up with his girlfriend.” Adrien grimaced, and he pulled his top hat down over his face as he realized, “God, how could he even be friends with me? He’s known this whole time, hasn’t he, that Adrien was the guy you liked who was keeping you from being with him?”

“Why the third person?” she had to wonder. “Why ‘Adrien’ instead of ‘I’? You make yourself sound like a different person.”

Adrien averted his eyes. “Because you liked Adrien Agreste, not…not me.”

“Oh, Beau Gosse,” she sighed, using her nickname for Adrien. “I was never wowed by Adrien Agreste. It wasn’t your money or your looks or your father’s empire. It wasn’t Adrien Agreste. It was your dorky laughter and your vulnerability. Your earnestness. I like the nerdy boy who gets enthused talking about Doctor Who and slice of life anime. I like the sheltered boy who didn’t know not to put metal in a microwave. I like the sensitive guy who still cries like a baby during dog movies. I don’t like Adrien Agreste.”

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I like you, Adrien.”

Almost afraid to hope, Adrien tipped his head to look at her from under the brim of his hat. “But…you said you don’t love me.”

Ladybug shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. I don’t think I do.”

It took much effort for him not to crumble. “Oh…. Okay…. I mean, so long as we’re on the same page.”

“Adrien, I know next to nothing about love,” she explained, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice, “but if I truly loved you, would I have flaked on you like I did? People in love stand by one another through tough times, don’t they? Isn’t that how you know it’s real? You overcome the hard times together? Isn’t love supposed to endure or something?” She looked at him for answers.

He gazed back, only questions of his own in his icy blue eyes.

“Your love for me is enduring all this, isn’t it? All the pain and the mess and the disappointment?” she challenged. “I’m hurting you—I have hurt you—and yet you still love me, don’t you?”

He nodded.

She shook her head. “Well, my feelings for you didn’t weather the storm.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled slightly, and his lips pressed into a thin, tight line, silently begging for her to elaborate, to help him understand.

A pained smile wound across her lips. “When you were dating all those girls…the way you treated Elise when you two were dating…”

He opened his mouth to defend himself, but she placed her far hand on his lips to silence him.

“I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. You were just following advice from someone you trusted. I’m sorry I give such crappy relationship advice. It turns out that I have no idea what I’m talking about.”

He gave a little snort of agreement.

“I’m sorry, Adrien. Even though it was partially my fault, even though I didn’t have any claim on you or your affections…it still really hurt me.” She tightened her grip on his hand.

He pulled away only to take her hand in his and squeeze back.

“You hurt me…bad,” she whispered. “I know it’s stupid and that I shouldn’t feel this way, but…but I do. This is how I feel. It felt like a betrayal seeing you kiss all those other girls without a thought, like it was no big deal. Just…the fact that you could do that…”

She took a deep breath and shook her head. “But we don’t need to keep going over the same ground again and again. I was hurt that you didn’t pick Marinette first. I was hurt that you weren’t the man I thought you were. I understand that it wasn’t completely your fault and that I should have said something…about my feelings, about what I thought about how you were acting… I know you’ve been lost this year. I’ve been lost too, so…”

She trailed off, gripping his hand and chewing thoughtfully at her bottom lip.

“…So…now what?” he whispered, still sounding lost.

“I…’m not sure,” she confessed. “We rebuild?”

“What does that mean?” he wondered, wanting to do whatever she said, wanting to make it work. “Concretely?”

She looked at him and then down at their joined hands. “I guess…you work on you, and I’ll work on me, and…we’ll see.”

“Oh.” He nodded, wishing she had a more detailed plan. Ladybug plans were often convoluted, and he never really knew exactly what he was doing or why he was doing it, but she had always known, step by step, what to do. Now, she didn’t sound sure, and that made him uneasy.

“…I miss you,” she whispered. “I miss us…. Chinese food and anime and making cupcakes and throwing flour at one another and cuddling on the couch and sharing parts of our meals and watching obscure films…I miss all of the things that made us us.”

“I don’t think we can be us right now,” he replied sadly, voice tired and full of longing. Then, more softly he added, “I don’t know if we can be that us again…. We broke that us.”

“So…we have to build a new us…just like we built the old us—only better this time,” she hastened to clarify. “We’ll build a healthier us.”

Adrien gently untangled his hand from hers, bringing it in to cover his face as he sighed. “I think I finally get what ‘space’ means. I think I understand what you meant when you said you needed time and space after-after the initial blowup. I think I need some time and some space.”

Her hand went to his hair, fingers gently rubbing at his scalp. “Shh. It’s okay,” she assured. “I’m sorry. I get it. It’s okay.”

He lowered his hands from his face and turned to look at her pleadingly. “Marinette,” he whispered as if the very word was precious.

It sent pleasant chills down her spine.

“I am hopelessly in love with you,” he sighed, stressing, “Still. After everything. And I don’t think I’m ever going to fall out of love with you. If I try to be some kind of us with you right now, it’s not going to go well. It’s not going to be any different than last time. Who I am right now, this version of me, can’t do any better. I can’t do ‘just friends’. I can’t be your friend, Marinette.”

She nodded, not liking his answer but understanding where he was coming from. “Okay,” she agreed softly, giving his head a pat before retracting her hand. “That’s fair. I mean, I get it. I really messed us up, and I get that you need a bit to figure things out. Just…” She looked up and caught his gaze, arresting it with her own. “My mistake was taking too much time. I kept pushing you away even after I should have just bit the bullet and womaned up and started to fix things. I know it’s selfish for me to say this, but…I miss you, so don’t take too long figuring things out, okay?”

He sighed, leaning in to drop a kiss onto her forehead. He stood, took a few steps, and turned to face her, his tailcoat morphing back into dazzling blue and black wings. “Don’t blame yourself, Milady. Don’t blame just yourself. I came into this relationship messed up, and I didn’t do anything to help matters. I’m at fault too. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be friends with you, Marinette, but I know for a fact that I won’t be able to stay away from you for long, regardless of my feelings. I’ll see you soon, Meinu,” he assured. “Take care of yourself and be happy, okay?”

She nodded, getting to her feet and taking a few reflexive steps towards him. “You too, Beau Gosse.”

He turned to go, and she bit her lip.

“Hey.”

He looked back, folding his wings so that he could see her. He arched an eyebrow.

“I’ll-I’ll have a word with Maître Fu about Nooroo staying with you,” she informed. “I’d still rather he be safe in the Miracle Box, but I get it. I really do get it. I would want someone to take care of Tikki. It is important, what you’re doing. My heart does agree with you, even though my head says it’s dangerous. I’ll tell Maître Fu to leave you guys the hell alone, okay?” She smiled nervously, a peace offering.

He returned the grin with interest, smiling brilliantly back at her, his whole face lighting up, the butterfly wings painting his cheeks shimmering in response.

“Thank you,” he stressed, gratitude coating each syllable. “Thank you, My Lady. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

Her smile gained strength as she shrugged. “I think I have some idea. Just…did Nooroo mention anything about Papillon’s identity or location or-or anything we could use?”

Adrien shook his head slowly. “I don’t plan on asking. I don’t…” He bit his lip. “This whole thing has been traumatic for him. I know you’ll probably disagree, but as long as Papillon and Mayura stay gone, isn’t that good enough? I know they should be punished for all the people they hurt, but…can’t we just leave them alone? Let them have their baby and move on with our lives? Let Nooroo move on?”

Ladybug bit her lip. She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to finish this for good. She wanted closure for the city. She wanted people to be able to sleep at night without fearing a return of Papillon, the next sentimonster attack to destroy their homes, snuff out their lives. She wanted all the loose ends tied up, but…

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that she was not a comic book hero. Loose ends didn’t always get tied up in real life. This wasn’t ideal, but…she wasn’t about to start another argument with her partner over it.

She sighed and let it go. “Okay. All right. If he does ever say something we could use to unmask Papillon, I would appreciate it if you’d let me know, but…okay. For now…let’s move on.”

Adrien let go of a breath he hadn’t intentionally been holding. His smile regained its luminosity. “Okay. Thanks, Ladybug. I’ll see you around.”

“See you around, Swallowtail.” Her smile reached even her eyes as she waved him off.

With a flap of his wings, he was airborne and headed home.

The Agreste Mansion wasn’t far from the Hôtel des Invalides. He made it in minutes, wings turning back into a tailcoat to fit through the window as he dropped back into his room.

Plagg came out of his hiding spot in Adrien’s left shoulder and hovered silently, waiting for Adrien to make the first move.

Adrien shuffled over to his bed, flopping facedown as he released the transformation.

Nooroo appeared, landing on the bedspread in a flutter of wings. “Adrien-bocchama?” he called tentatively.

“You guys can help yourself to the cheese and mini banana cream pies in the fridge,” Adrien mumbled into the duvet. “I’m going to lie here for a bit, okay?”

“You okay, Kid?” Plagg inquired softly, landing next to Nooroo.

Adrien made an uncertain noise. “I just…” He sniffled. “Sorry. Overwhelmed. It’s a lot.”

“Of course,” Nooroo assured, coming to pet Adrien’s hair, having surmised that his new master found the gesture comforting.

“Do I need to go get Gabe or Nathalie?” Plagg checked, coming up to lick Adrien’s cheek.

“No. I’m okay. Just…just a little messed up from seeing her. Could you text them I’m home and resting?”

“Sure,” Plagg easily agreed, fetching the phone out of Adrien’s pocket and drawing in the code to unlock it.

“Ask them to leave me alone for the evening, please,” Adrien requested as the tears started to come faster and harder. “I’m fine. I just…I just need a minute…or a couple hours. Today was a lot.”

“Sure, Kid,” Plagg confirmed, letting Adrien have what he needed. “…You did good today.”

“Magnificent!” Nooroo corroborated, nodding enthusiastically.

Adrien choked out a laugh through tears. “Th-Thanks, guys.”

[demes-tumbled-sims]

Avyan Immortal Dynasty, Chapter 3: For Its Own Sake

Index

<- Previous

So, I head home for a while. Knock out a few drinks. Wonder when Zest’ll get a clue -- about the 

baby, I mean. It’ll probably be a few days. But I get a phone call. Now, the big mansion, with the maze is not where I would have a dance party.

But whoever Miko knows, they disagree.

It’s late, but it’s my day off tomorrow; I can manage, and sleep in in the morning. Or something. The night is old, but I’ll only be young… I mean, I’m aiming for twice, in the long run, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves; there’s going to be a lot of in-between I don’t want to regret.

“Besides, it’s useful.”

“Uh duh!” She says, giggling at me. “That’s why I invited you. I figured ‘she doesn’t know who’s who,’ but I’m an expert! So… I’d help. But, you know…”

Some of what she’s saying doesn’t exactly hit home. Because something about it does. It does so much I feel it in my whole body. Her tone is kind and sort of, well, teasing.

But there’s such a certainty to that. I mean, she’s right. It’s true. It’s just -- just that that’s the sort of certainty I have, in my head.

And she’s… really enthusiastic. About helping me out. She was thinking about me.

That’s something you don’t see every day. Is all.

I’m still absorbing that, while she keeps talking.

“It’s no good to think of having fun or meeting people in terms of being useful! They can just be people, for a while. I mean, you’re going to live forever -- you should try to appreciate people for themselves, because they’ll change all the time. Aren’t there people you just like for themselves?”

“It’s not like they’re separate,” I say, laughing. “Or that’s all I think about. Right now, I’m pretty deep in a fight. It’s hard to take my eyes off the prize.”

She pauses mid-swing of her hips, as if the music had frozen. She looks at me for a long time, picking back up the beat; compared to me, she has a pretty strong musical sense.

“You didn’t answer~” Like she’s got something on me.

Shoot. Shoot. Maybe she does. Maybe she does.

Let’s review:

She digs me; let’s not beat around the bush about it. I can’t blame her or anything…

But she gets that that’s a bad move for her, right?

I like her laugh for its own sake; I like her colorful taste for its own sake; I like the way she teases me for its own sake. But that’s not enough. She dreams of love and freedom and wild oats; there are a lot of things she wants that I can’t give. And I’m not…

Oh, plumbob.

“Okay, okay. Here’s my answer.”

I’ll fight for someone who has my back like this.

She kisses me back, her hand draping up across my shoulder. The music’s gone; the laser-light is blinding. She’s got strawberry-kiwi lipgloss. Perfect.

“Look,” I say, the moment we part. “Look. I get that this sort of permanence might not be your bag, but -- I -- I really do like you and we’d make a good team, so…” It’s too late. I shake my head. This wasn’t a bad idea, or anything, but I should have made a plan so I could make a better case.

“You don’t have to be so defensive, you know. I can see a lot of appeal -- and wouldn’t it be a problem for you?”

“Don’t just turn me down like that. It wouldn’t be. Look, I… I can’t make a case this late at night. Think about it, OK?”

She giggles, and snakes her arms around me.

“I will. I promise, promise, cross my heart and stick a needle in my eye, I won’t make a choice I regret.”

So I don’t exactly remember how I get home? There weren’t even any drinks, I was just dead on my feet, which is unfair.

When I wake up, I start planning my case. But when Miko asks me out to a lunch at a seafood place…

We just talk for a while. Just relax. I order the wine for both of us; I listen to her explain the connection between modern “ready-made” art and a show about rocks that sounds cute, especially put in her excited, bouncy tones.

The lunch is over by the time I make my move. Well, my non eyelash-batting move. Decidedly not the ol’ reach-around.. I don’t get jitters, but I might have had them, a little, waiting for her to come out from the bathroom.

��OK, here’s my pitch. Yeah, things are a little sparse right now; but we’re going up in the world, and you can count on me to earn our keep. If we time it right, I can watch the kid; I’ve got people to watch the kid. You can trust me not to sleep around.”

“What poetry… But what about you as a person?” She’s teasing me. “Doesn’t it matter if I like you?”

“Well, I would hope you would; I mean… I am pretty awesome. But... do you?”

She fidgets for a second with her hat, her face a blur of pink hair and pink blush.

“I like that sleekness you have! It’s cool!... But sometimes you just sort of expose some other part of you.  It’s like a window to a star. It’s kinda sweet and... kinda lonely. And I...I really love that person. I want to let that star in.” She finds her courage. “I love you!”

Love?! Really?...Heh. She's really surprised me.

“But I understand why playing the field is important to you; I can’t just sell you to come and live with me forever on the back of that!”

“Sure you can! You could swoop me up in your arms and say ‘Darling, come away with me! We can woohoo in the shade of blossoming trees and I will preen for you like a peacock on display!  Let me dazzle you in my dreams! I will remember your name when men are but fairytales in books written by rabbits!’ And I would say...”

“You would say?” I lean forward, until the space between us is very close.

“Well, wouldn’t you have to ask me the right way? I want to hear what Kestral feels; not what you’ve rehearsed.”

“Right. Right! It’s not ‘come away with me,’ we can save the blossom trees, but...”

“When you’re going on about something, it’s like a jewel.I can do anything if you’ve got my back. When I touch your hand, I want to grab it and make you forget about ever wanting anyone else… But more than that...”

“I need someone in my life -- and there’s no one I want it to be but you. Will you marry me?”

It wasn’t the sort of place you could imagine for a proposal, the kitchen of a busy seafood place. It was kind of perfect. She really surprised me.

“Sure! Let’s do it!”

She slips the ring on and beams, and then throws herself, to the surprise of the kitchen staff, into my arms.

“Okay! Now, we away to the casbah!” I spin her around, and out the door we go.

When she moved in after that (we’re not married yet), she brought one of her roomates with her, Akira. The teen girl? Optional. Fantastic. Akira himself? Not bad.

I ask her what she’ll plan next, since this will mess with her old dreams:

“Since I can’t express my wild side with romance, I’ll do it with art. For now, anyway…. It probably suits me about as well!”

I kind of wonder what made her think of serial romantic in the first place. I get its appeal, but not why just yet.

We remake our room to something full of her personal flair. I don’t know if we’ll have the look forever, but I want it to feel like her home.

And I throw the first of, let’s be honest, probably many dinner parties. Knock that out; I need to get Silver minimum, but I can hit gold without breaking my stride, going for an early dinner.

It’s really fun, having a bunch of people over, the dance music playing over my bar... watching Zest flirt.

“Those highlights are tickle-me-pink, right?” “Hot pink, my man,” Candy says slyly. “Are you sure? I’m positively tickled by them. And your hair certainly says ‘tickle me’ to me.” Well, I think that’s flirting. Who can say? It’s a vision of an alien world. “Try and keep up, Johnny,” is Candy’s answer as she dances forward.

And more than flirt. Zest is a total dog, and if he were not, I think I would have to make him.

“I just moved in, and I’ll tell you -- this is a funny little place. The rooms are so tiny, they’re mostly beds,” Akira was explaining to Ulrike outside, the music drifting over him.

“If it’s a good bed, that’s at least nice, right? Maybe you can make it more your thing.”

“Yeah, maybe. I hope so.”

And me? I’m talking to my girl a while.

“Oooh, ooh. You did get a dress like mine!” “I did. Cooler colors, though -- even if the pattern’s not as cute.” “It looks nice, though. I couldn’t picture you in a dress before.” I forget if that coffee counted as a drink for the nonsensical and almighty party council, judge of social occasions. Well, the party council of public opinion, anyway. 

“Babe? Today’s been… Really special. Magical, even.” I caress her soft cheek. “It’s been a whirlwind, alright! You’re nonstop, aren’t you?” “Absolutely."

This isn’t *that* Woohoo, I mean, I’m not really where I’d like with my career… But there are some things that just won’t wait.

But this isn’t all smooching pretty girls; with the party gilt and the night won, I learn of just one other victory:

Gino’s caught us our first Angelfish. We’re getting on our way.

[lovelyirony]

Hey consider- Tony as a Fallen Angel who didn't fall with Lucifer, but because he was "defective" - he kept making things, which God said was his sphere alone. Kept questioning God's decisions, like when he punished Eve's curiousity. And, in typical Old Testament God fashion, he gave Tony an over-the-top punishment- he could keep creating, but had to live as a human, and He arranged for Tony's lives to try to beat the rebelliousness out of him. Hence Howard, Obie, etc. -teahusbands anon.

hoo boy i love this prompt is it alright if i tweak it a bit? i’m gonna say that God cast Tony down as a human so he could help them instead of questioning God’s authority up there and Lucifer tries to recruit him but Tony refuses so THEN Lucifer decides to send in his worst demons to break him and Tony’s memory is washed with every single time…that okay? I’m gonna write it YEET

Antonis was a wonderful angel. Instructed to make the animals. Some of the most beautiful were crafted by Antonis himself, such as the peacock or tiger with their brilliant colors and sharp qualities. 

The problem was that Antonis questioned God. A lot. And he wanted to make more than what God assigned him; he already had designs for new animals that could be beneficial. (And if Antonis was being completely honest, the “mosquito” was a terrible animal that needed to die.) 

God sent Antonis down once humans arrived. They needed an angel to watch over them and make sure they didn’t do anything too stupid or find out what was really up there too quickly. Antonis said fine. He loved the humans, even helped with most of the innovations. (God wasn’t happy, but it wasn’t like he could intervene all the time. Besides, Antonis knew his limits.) 

It became a problem when Lucifer wanted to influence Antonis. Earth was fair game, but Lucifer knew how to twist it to his favor. Besides, God didn’t have to know. He didn’t know a lot of things. 

Antonis refuses to even think of creating creatures or demons for Lucifer. “You know that you were cast for a reason,” he warns. 

“So were you, Antonis,” Lucifer says. “And you seem to think that it was only to help the humans. Didn’t Father let you know? He likes to be the one in charge. He doesn’t want you up there staging a rebellion at some point because you disagree with one of his rulings.” Antonis shakes his head. 

“Whether or not that is true is no concern to you or I. I refuse to work for you and you know it.” 

“Fine,” Lucifer says. “But then that means you’re not going to have your angelic stance.” Antonis doesn’t remember what happens next. 

He ceases to exist as an angel. God has a sneaking suspicion that Lucifer had something to do with it (although the suspicion was basically “yeah, he did it”) but he wasn’t going to do anything about it and risk starting yet another holy war. 

Antonis becomes a little boy in Egypt, dying at age thirteen due to disease. His father and mother do not mourn. He was sickly. 

He is a knight in the Medieval Ages, fallen on his lover’s sword. There was a quarrel that neither could come back from. 

Antonis becomes Anthony when he is born, one of the first boys to sign up for the Revolutionary War. His mother died, his father blames him. Prays to a deity who knows not to listen too closely to requests made about Anthony.  

He dies in 1776. No one documented the exact date. A British soldier shot him with a musket and stole the jacket off his back. 

He comes back in the late 1800s. He is brought up with strict Victorian morals and an aversion to being a “man’s man.” His cousin called him an Oscar Wilde type figure. Anthony figures that that is a good thing. He likes how Oscar Wilde writes. (Apparently, it is not.) 

He fights in World War I. His mother writes him once. Asks if he needs anything. They can’t afford it, but he appreciates it. 

Tony dies because he sacrifices himself to save a German. They say it’s a damn shame, and he’s dropped into a mass grave. His family doesn’t care enough to find him. They figure he’s dead, just like all the other boys in the neighborhood. His mother doesn’t even wear black. 

He’s born to Howard and Maria Stark. Maria’s glad it’s a boy so she doesn’t have to have another baby. Howard supposes it’s nice to have a familial heir. Lucifer smiles as he witnesses the next Antonis grow up and learn. Watches as he constantly gets torn down. 

Because for Howard Stark nothing is ever good enough. Tony keeps trying only for his father to be dismissive. 

And Lucifer whispers words into Obadiah Stane’s ear because you would make a much better CEO than that little child, wouldn’t you Stane? You could gain his trust, couldn’t you? And so Obadiah Stane becomes “Uncle Obie” and Tony always grins up at him because he brings pizza and smiles and reassurances that Howard and Maria could never give  

but Obadiah is bringing death with him, and it’s only a matter of time. He brings death when Tony is seventeen, supposed to be in a 1991 model Cadillac, and the news hits that billionaire Howard and his philanthropist wife Maria have died in a car crash. 

Sure. You could call it that. 

Lucifer doesn’t contemplate the fact that other angels have been watching. The ones that God still has under his thumb, but not quite. And they have seen Antonis fall, over and over, and refuse to let him go about it alone anymore. 

Edwin Jarvis, James Rhodes, and Virginia Potts come into the scene. They’re angels. Hardly missed up there, where there are others to boss around. They are there for Tony. To make sure that he doesn’t get hopeless. That Tony Stark will have a good life, for once. 

This doesn’t deter Lucifer. 

There’s Afghanistan, when his heart is blown to hell and Lucifer thinks that he’ll get the soul and destroy Antonis, make him his bitch, but no. Damned Yinsen. Another angel with a heart. And Tony Stark survives with an arc reactor wedged into his chest and a peace sign thrown up into the other as Rhodey comes to save him. 

“God, you’re an angel,” he says. Rhodey grins. 

“Sure, something like that.” 

The second time, Antonis is dying. Mainly because of Lucifer and his human side. It’s accelerated. Natalie Rushman is there. She’s a demon, designed to make sure that people follow what Lucifer wants them to. 

She goes rogue during the second month she’s there. Lucifer loses a valued demon to a group of angels and a once-was. (Because for once, Natasha can feel.) 

He nearly dies. But gets up anyway. Lucifer decides to up the ante. 

Alien invaders. No one’s seen them in centuries, especially not on earth. There’s an uptick in prayers said. 

Antonis doesn’t fucking die. 

It’s ridiculous. 

But he’ll keep trying. He has to. 

He needs to be broken. 

[stormsbourne]

uhhhh with spoilers tho why was infinity war bad?

spoils + long post under cut

so I think the single scene that caps off how bad infinity war is is that thanos has captured gamora and forced her to tell him where the last infinity stone is. thanos, if you’ve forgotten, took gamora from her home – there’s an earlier scene that shows him grooming her as he kills half her planet – and spent her entire life pitting her and nebula against each other for his amusement and to “make them strong” in pretty much textbook abusive ways. but for some goddamn reason, the movie then shows thanos being a fucking whiny baby about gamora’s hatred of him.

gamora: [referring to thanos’ throne] I always hated this chairthanos: yes, I’ve heard that beforegamora: and I hated this roomthanos: you have said as muchgamora: and I hated youthanos: *sad baby face* :’(

anyway thanos and gamora are going after this stone. it’s about halfway through the movie at this point

double hitler red skull shows up as the guardian of the stone and also a weird dementor and tells thanos that in order to get the stone he has to sacrifice something that he loves more than anything. gamora starts laughing. she tells him that this is his just deserts, that the universe has put up a wall here to thwart him because he is incapable of loving anyone or anything so the stone will never be his. he turns around to face her and he’s crying. “tears, really?” she demands. “they’re not for him” doublenazi red skull says

there’s a very long sequence of thanos grabbing gamora by the wrist in a deliberate parallel to the earlier scene where he took baby gamora by the hand. he yanks her over to this cliff edge and throws her off, crying the whole time. poor sad abuse man. has to kill his victim. it must be hard. we see her fall. then we get a loving fucking 30 second money shot of her dead body at the bottom of this chasm just to really drive home how tragic it is. 

(baby gamora is later used at the end of the movie once thanos wins to reassure him it was worth it)

I knew this movie was gonna be a problem before then but this was The Scene where I knew it was the second worst movie marvel had made. 

in addition to all of this here are some other points

Thanos’ “sympathetic motivation” is stupid. if you haven’t been spoiled on this yet his motivation is that he wants everything to be “in balance” and he’s motivated by overpopulation, which is a racist + classist myth perpetuated by those in power to promote xenophobia. thanos’ goal is to eliminate half of every sentient species in the universe to ensure nobody is ever poor or suffering again, somehow, and also to ensure that the universe doesn’t run out of resources 

oh but it’s ok! the genocide is random! no racial or class overtones here we just flip a coin for everybody! random genocides are the best genocides!

I don’t want to sound like one of those people who soapboxes about how narratives have to tell us the badguy is bad but I honestly don’t think the movie does enough to communicate that thanos is wrong and also fucking crazy. there’s a few people like “oh thanos how can you be sure” and “thanos we make these choices and that’s what matters” but almost no one ever hears his plan and tells him “you are crazy and that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever fucking heard, you delusional fucking weirdo” 

he wins btw which wouldn’t be bad taken on its own but like, why does he not use his magical glove macguffin to make resources infinite and the universe an actual utopia instead of killing half of everybody

two significant, named characters die in the first 10 minutes before the opening screen even shows up, without any sort of buildup 

the soul gem plot even without all the ooh sad abuser shit is such a fucking nothing burger, you have all these weird and intricate things that involved entire plots of movies and weird shit that’s only barely a gem at all like the aether from thor 2 and then you have Fantasy Trope 101 oh you gotta kill somebody to get the rock! you gotta do it! but it’s sad and this strange dementor not-hitler is here to make sure it’s sad!

the black panther cast is in it for approximately 20 minutes total out of the like, 3 hour runtime. (aside: I actually saw BP and IF on the same day and holy balls was that a high to low sliding scale)

the movie ends with roughly 2/3 of the main cast being turned to dust by thanos winning but because we know none of it is going to stick because they have sequel movies and this is comics-based, it just feels pointless. it feels like a waste of time. it feels like they dragged out into 2.5 hours what could have been done in 20 minutes 

speaking of thanos winning it is exhausting to watch. it feels like the movie is kicking you over and over and every time it starts to let you get up a bigger dude comes in and kicks you instead. nobody likes to watch a movie where the villain wins over and over and over without so much as a setback. thanos starts OUT too powerful for anybody to stop so the entire movie just becomes him stomping all over everybody over and over and over again. we start out the movie with him doing it. we end the movie with him literally undoing an emotional climax moment in order to make sure he wins. oh you destroyed the mind gem? no big deal I’ll just rewind time zoooooop ok we good! I win! *little kid voice* you can’t kill me I rewound time and actually I won 10 minutes ago!

ok this one is kind of petty but someone pointed out valkyrie isn’t even in this movie and now it’s consuming me, you give ant-man and hawkeye one-off lines about why they’re not here but you can’t even be like “oh yeah valkyrie took some of our people and escaped” (we’re gonna come back to this in like 2 seconds keep it iin mind)

random annoyance: peter quill peacocking over gamora because thor is hot and he feels threatened, I hate peter quill

other random annoyance: thor your ship got fucking blown up, how did thanos only kill half your people, are the other half on his ship now?

I honestly just like, cannot fucking stress how bad the thanos and gamora shit is, how fucking horrifying it is, how we’re expected to feel sympathy for this man who literally fucking disassembled nebula to torture her to get gamora to do what he wants. oh it’s ok though. he loves gamora in his way you see. it’s fine. it’s fine! it’s fine. it’s fine. i t s f i n e : )

does the rest of the world just not realize how horrifying that is?!?!?!?!?!?!?

the vision/scarlet witch ship is like an emotional crux of the whole movie and it just. it just doesn’t work. it just doesn’t.

the plot thread with the hulk is probably going to be resolved in avengers 2019 since iirc bruce survived but as it is it feels unfinished and dangling

speaking of survivors we gotta have that man angst, we’ll turn a 17 year old boy to dust but tony’s gotta look sad about it

like fam I love tony angst but he has had ENOUGH jesus CHRIST rdj only barely wants to be involved with this franchise anymore anyway let him be free. maybe he’ll actually die in avengers 2019

it feels like it undoes a bunch of things from the previous movies which on one hand who cares! it’s all gonna be rewound anyway! but on the other hand FUCK you. the asgardian refugees are all fucking dead now. black panther’s cast exists for like 20 minutes and its setting is there pretty much just so the aliens can fuck up someplace that isn’t new york for once. rocket’s epiphany at the end of gotg2? who cares we’ve got snark to dispense! can’t have him act like he learned anything, that’d take away from his ability to be a dick to peter! 

uh I think I’m out of steam for now but that’s my list of why I hated the movie. it had some good moments and a lot of the character interactions were great, especially literally every scene involving spiderman, but you could have fucking jewels and if you bury them in shit they are still going to stink

[heartbreakcity]

87.5 RanDoM QuEstiOnS

okayyy, i’ve always wanted to do one of these !! hopefully you all know me a lil better afterwards

tagged by: the lovely @inspiredbynewt

tagging: @gilinswilkwhore & @maximoff-pan

♛ ♛ ♛ ♛ ♛ ♛ ♛

0.5) Name and age? Megan and i’m 16

1. Where do you live? Oxford, England. yes it rains, yes it’s cold.

2. One cool item you own? my record player, and i have my dads old band on vinyl (Faze Action - they’re the bomb.com) and my huge collection of photos clipped to fairy lights is cute

3. Moon or stars? moon

4. Places you’d like to travel to? E V E R Y W H E R E A N D A N Y W H E R E

5. Favourite song? a) A Sky Full Of Stars by Coldplay b) Isombard by Declan McKenna c) December 1963 (Oh What A Night) by Frankie Valley and The Four Seasons

6. Do you have any fears? Yup, it’s called Ostraconaphobia...and yes it’s ridiculous it’s the fear of...shellfish THEY TERRIFY ME I CAND DEal WITH IT

7. Do you feel different than you did last year? i’m so much happier, honestly i’m loving life

8. What is your race? White British

9. Pet peeves? loud and obnoxious people but that’s it.

10. Any siblings? a brother

11. Are you a gamer? depends on the game

12. Sexual orientation? straight

13. Does a broken mirror mean bad luck? oh hell yes

14. What do you feel is your mental age? ranges from a 3 year old to 50 year old

15. How old were you when you started dating? my first proper relationship where i was in love was at the age 15. some say it was too young but this guy was my everything and i saw my whole future with him. pity he said “you’re not good enough”, eh

16. Where do you do most of your online shopping? amazon or asos

17. Favourite animal? penguinsss

18. What’s one film from the 2000s that you like? hands down “13 going on 30” and the classic “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging”

19. What’s your favourite scary movie? hate them with a passion but probs Incidious

20. Fun fact about yourself? i am probably the most musical person you will ever meet - i play trombone, bass guitar, flute, clarinet, piano, keyboard, saxophone, trumpet, baritone, cornet, drums, guitar and i sing.

21. Shoe size? 6

22. Which fictional character(s) do you relate to the most? Betty Cooper, she’s basically my spirit animal and Blair Waldorf

23. Where do you see yourself living in ten years? in america

24. Ever wore clothes that were just wayyy too tight? yes and i still have the scars lmao

25. What’s on your mind? ironic, but i’m thinking about the ex bf who said “you’re not good enough for me” bc hell i miss him

26. Are you religious? yes

27. How tall are you? 5’7”

28. Favourite band? 5sos, The Killers, The Hunna, Jackson 5

29. Do you remember 2009? no i barely remember 3 days ago

30. Cats or dogs? cat person here

31. Fruit or vegetables? veggies

32. Do you want to get married? 100% yes

33. Do you want children? yep, 2

34. Flamingos or peacocks? flamingos they’re so pretty

35. What superpower do you wish you had? mind reading or being able to change minds

36. Are you a germ freak? god yes

37. Did swearing baby, ghost car, or ghost caught on tape scare you as a kid? HELL TO THE YESSSS i had an awful friend who showed all of the above to me

38. Do you prefer sweet or salty? salt. tons of salt pls

39. Tea or coffee? dislike both but coffee cause i like Mochas

40. Are you superstitious? yup. i hold my breath when i pass lorries on the roads, i carry a luck stone with me and wear 2 rings every day in case of bad luck

41. Do you like stripes? i guess?

42. Favourite shows as a kid? teletubbies or the tweenies

43. Favourite shows growing up? victorious, icarly, wizards of waverley place, kickin’ it were the bomb

44. Favourite musical? Kinky Boots, Les Mis, RENT, Jersey boys, FOOTLOOSE HELL YEA

45. Favourite movie? shit there’s a list: Guardians of the galaxy, footloose, the breakfast club, star wars episode VI, the maze runner trilogy, ferris bulers day off, 10 things i hate about you

46. Birthday? 17 december (i’m 16)

47. Are you a grammar Nazi? absolutely. i’m so pedantic

48. Ever gotten drunk? yeah

49. Do you have a carrier bag? huh?

50. What would you do if you were the opposite gender for a day? tell a girl what makes her special

51. If you were the opposite gender what would you change your name to? i’ve looked at this question for 5 mins, idk i love Ashton (yes irwin)

52. What song is stuck in your head? “rent” from rent...

53. Celebrity crush? always = luke hemmings but rn = shia lebouf

54. If you could live in a non-English speaking country, where would it be? spain

55. Are you a good dancer? i like to think i am but really i look awful

56. Have any allergies? to nasty people

57. Any bad habits? i think things over at least 2784 times and then realise, maybe it really was nothing

58. Ever broke a bone? left elbow

59. Are you a city or country person? city, totally

60. Do you like your home country? love it

61. Sunflowers or daisies? daises. have so many memories involving daises

62. Tulips or roses? roses

63. Oak or maple? oak

64. Disney or Nickelodeon? refuse to answer

65. WYR be obese or anorexic? anorexic

66. WYR be over 6 feet or under 5 feet? under 5 ft

67. Rubies or sapphires? sapphires

68. Are you stubborn? look up stubborn in the dictionary you’ll see “Megan”

69. Have you been in scouts/Girl Scouts? yeah, in england you call it “Rainbows” then “Brownies” then “Guides”

70. What type of music do you listen to? EVERYTHING and i mean everything EXCEPT rap/hip hop/dubstep

71. Favourite vine? thomas sanders “narrating people’s lives” with the one about the guy stepping on a snake

72. Beaches or castles? beaches

73. Pick the closest book to you, and write the line for page 36, line 16 -“ - meant adding our own to the pile” it’s from Library Of Souls by Ranson Riggs

74. Anyone in the same room as you right now? nope i’m in bed

75. Which is worse; throwing up or diharreah? throwing up

76. Butterflies or lady bugs? butterflies!!

77. Do you say “K” when you’re not mad? i hate the letter so no

78. How do you react when purposely scare you? i’ll scream. i’ll always scream

79. Most overrated celebrity? the whole kardashian clan #sorrynotsorry

80. Do you have a globe in your room? i wish

81. Do you have a dream catcher in your room? nah

82. What do you see when you look out your window? my allotment, a play park, a graveyard, and fields and barns for miles

83. Have you been on an airplane? yes and i hate it

84. Do you believe in aliens? honestly i believe we can’t be the only ones in the whole entire universe

85. Do you believe in ghosts? in a scary way - no. in a comforting way/family/friends passed way - yes.

86. Do you believe in God? yes

87. Do you believe in yourself? i believe i can do whatever i put my mind to. so yes. i have confidence in myself

[thegreatwhiteferret]

87 Random Questions

I was tagged by @edwardtheloser because JJ just wants the world to burn. 💖💖💖

1. Where do you live? I currently live in Delaware...yeah, the tiny ass state everyone forgets about.

2. One cool item you own? I’m trying to think of something really deep and meaningful...I have a Texas charm with golden star on it that I wear with a cross on a chain around my neck and never take off. 

3. Moon or stars? The stars (High key one of the things I miss most about Texas)!

4. Places you’d like to travel to? Either to London or to Disney...both are related to Peter Pan for reasons.

5. Favorite song? I cannot possibly pick just one song...music is everything. Praying by Kesha has me all sorts of in the feels right now.

6. Do you have any fears? I am afraid of so many things. I am afraid of the dark, germs, going into anaphylaxis, letting people down, not being good enough...I should stop now, right?

7. Do you feel different than you did last year? I mean I guess. The past year has been really bad for me, but I’ve just recently started feeling really hopeful about the future.

8. What is your race? I am white as white can be. I’m 75% Canadian (25-British, 25-Irish, and 25-French with a bit of Native American mixed in) and then 25% mystery that is most likely German or Dutch. 

9. Pet peeves? People being assholes when they disagree with something and people smacking when they eat. (These two just stuck out, there are more, I’m petty as hell)

10. Any siblings? I have 3 sisters.

11. Are you a gamer? Only if The Sims and Dream Daddy count. Hand eye coordination is not there.

12. Sexual orientation? Pansexual Princess 

13. Does a broken mirror mean bad luck? I don’t know, but I will steer the fuck clear!

14. What do you feel is your mental age? Depends on the day. Sometimes I feel like I’m sixteen some days I feel like I’m forty. There is no consistency. 

15. How old were you when you started dating? My family was super strict, so no dating officially until after I went to college.

16. Where do you do most of your online shopping? Forever21 and Amazon.

17. Favorite animal? Bears

18. What’s one film from the 2000s that you like? Psssssh, so many. School of Rock and Mean Girls were my shit though.

19. What’s your favorite scary movie? IT. I am a scaredy cat, so the fact that I love this movie so much is amazing.

20. Fun fact about yourself? I convinced my 5th grade teacher that I had elaborately schemed to get rid of my baby sister when I was only three years old to avoid actually having to write a serious paper. I won a damn award for my story too.

21. Shoe size? 9.5 or a 10 in Women's. 

22. Which fictional character(s) do you relate to the most? Junie B. Jones. She’s a real hero of mine. (JK, Stanley Uris and I are one in the same).

23. Where do you see yourself living in ten years? Philly, Boston, or Chicago. I need some excitement in my life.

24. Ever wore clothes that were just wayyy too tight? I mean I wore a corset around just for the hell of it the either night so....

25. What’s on your mind? How many stories I have in my queue to write and the fact that I am not doing that right now...whoops.

26. Are you religious? I’d still identify as Christian, but I have a lot of questions. I also don’t believe in pushing your religion on people, that’s an asshole move.

27. How tall are you? 5’8″

28. Favorite band? HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK ONE??? Jesus, I’m going to see AJR in a few weeks so let me give them a shoutout.

29. Do you remember 2009? Yes. It sucked.

30. Cats or dogs? DOGS! You can fight me on this one @edwardtheloser they are freaking flawless and amazing.

31. Fruit or vegetables? Por que no los dos??

32. Do you want to get married? Yes. That would be nice.

33. Do you want children? I DO. So so bad. It’s a problem.

34. Flamingos or peacocks? Meh. Birds. (Only difference between me and Stan tbh)

35. What superpower do you wish you had? Telekinesis or Shapeshifting.

36. Are you a germ freak? Yes. I have severe food allergies and I break out when I touch the allergens, so I kind of have to be. Also, people are gross.

37. Did swearing baby, ghost car, or ghost caught on tape scare you as a kid? I don’t know what any of these are...

38. Do you prefer sweet or salty? Por que no los dos?

39. Tea or coffee? Give me all of the non carbonated caffeine.

40. Are you superstitious? Yes. I knock on wood. I won’t walk under ladders or on cracks in the sidewalk. I do counting things as coping mechanisms. I’m so bad.

41. Do you like stripes? Sure, but plaid is better.

42. Favorite shows as a kid? The Big Comfy Couch, Rugrats, The Wiggles, Doug, Arthur, Zoom...I liked TV a lot.

43. Favorite shows growing up? Lizzie McGuire, Boy Meets World, That’s So Raven, Sabrina the Teenage Witch...again, I liked TV a lot.

44. Favorite musical? I LOVE MUSICALS. Hamilton, Hairspray, High School Musical, Rocky Horror, Annie. All of them. RENT is my absolute favorite though, I bawled my eyes out when I saw it live.

45. Favorite movie? Inglorious Basterds, IT, and Goonies.

46. Birthday? October 1st.

47. Are you a grammar Nazi? Yes. It kills me not to correct people.

48. Ever gotten drunk? Hahahahaha. Yes.

49. Do you have a carrier bag? I switch between a small backpack, a big satchel bag and a small hot pink cross body purse. As long as my epi pen and wipes fit, I’m good.

50. What would you do if you were the opposite gender for a day? Some very NSFW things...I’m not sorry.

51. If you were the opposite gender what would you change your name to? Oliver, Ollie for short.

52. What song is stuck in your head? The Kids Aren’t Alright by The Offspring

53. Celebrity crush? Hilary Knight, Taron Egerton, Chris Evans, Hayley Williams, Joe Keery...so many. I love all the people.

54. If you could live in a non-English speaking country, where would it be? Sweden

55. Are you a good dancer? I try...

56. Have any allergies? Gluten and Dairy. Deathly allergic and people think it’s just a diet fad smh...

57. Any bad habits? Procrastinating and shoving my feelings down.

58. Ever broke a bone? Yes. My mom broke my leg when I was three, we fell down the stairs and if she hadn’t pushed me behind her and landed on my leg I would have gone head first into a brick wall. My mommy saved my life. 💖

59. Are you a city or country person? Both. I like the feel of the country with the convenience of the city.

60. Do you like your home country? United States of Go Fuck Yourself

61. Sunflowers or daisies? Sunflowers 

62. Tulips or roses? Tulips, they remind me of living in the Netherlands as a kid.

63. Oak or maple? Maple. I’m Canadian, eh.

64. Disney or Nickelodeon? BOTH! I WILL NOT CHOOSE!

65. WYR be obese or anorexic? I’m in recovery for both anorexia and bulimia and have been since I was twelve years old, body dysmorphia since I was seven because I’ve been overweight my entire life, and this question can go fuck itself. Jesus fucking Christ. Those are serious issues not choices. Fuck.

66. WYR be over 6 feet or under 5 feet? Under 5 feet, I hate being tall.

67. Rubies or sapphires? Sapphires

68. Are you stubborn? I am so stubborn that it hurts.

69. Have you been in scouts/Girl Scouts? Yes! And I loved it.

70. What type of music do you listen to? Everything. I love music.

71. Favorite vine? Uhmmmm...I was never into vines...sorry.

72. Beaches or castles? Castles. Real life Disney Princess y’all!

73. Pick the closest book to you, and write the line you opened to:

"I mean, a superhero. My heart almost squeezes to a stop. Blue loves superheroes.” -Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda

74. Anyone in the same room as you right now? Yup. My mama and the dogs. Pip is sleeping on my lap.

75. Which is worse; throwing up or diarrhea? I mean I don’t love either...

76. Butterflies or lady bugs? I don’t like bugs...butterflies qualify as well. 

77. Do you say “K” when you’re not mad? I never do this, because I am so cautious of how others will feel from it. You can’t take back hurt feelings.

78. How do you react when purposely scare you? I usually have some form of anxiety attack. My sister has made me cry and panic just from making me watch a YouTube video...I’m easy to scare guys.

79. Most overrated celebrity? Every Kardashian except for Khloe, I love her.

80. Do you have a globe in your room? No, I have a print of the world, but that would be so cool!

81. Do you have a dream catcher in your room? No, this would also be cool.

82. What do you see when you look out your window? Well it’s nighttime now so darkness.

83. Have you been on an airplane? Yes, I’ve been flying since I was a month old.

84. Do you believe in aliens? Yes. It’s stupid to think that we are alone in the universe.

85. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely. I don’t fuck with spirits, all respect.

86. Do you believe in God? I believe in a higher power, and I do still have faith in the Christian God, but I do have so many questions.

87. Do you believe in yourself? I’m working on it, y’all. That’s all I can say.

I am tagging randomly because I don’t know who has done this yet... @billbenbev @its-reddie-bitch @not-reddie @theriodiaries @demianhill @dannybriereisaliferuiner @thebroadstreetdarling @milagric and whoever else would like to do this, consider yourselves tagged! 💖💖💖💖💖

[alldolleduppink-blog]

Tangerines

Season 1     Season 2     Season 3

Season 4

On their way to the Peacock Family farm, they stopped by a fruit stand and he bought a few tangerines to tie them over. After the infant’s autopsy, it was hard to muster an appetite but they needed something to be able to continue their investigation of the heinous crime.

“This place has it all,” he indicated with the tangerines in his possession as if the availability of her favorite fruit should be enough evidence to deem a place as such.

He began peeling a tangerine for her and offered sections of the fruit to her without thinking. It had become an innate tendency, like holding doors for her or putting a hand on the small of her back as they made their way down hallways. It was territorial on his part as well, a way to tell others around them that there was some unspoken claim on the other. Not romantic, of course, but almost.

“I would never have imagined that you’d want to live in a place like this,” she responded. Under the blinding rays of the sun, she shielded her eyes with her hand. “What else don’t I know about you, Mulder?”

Another realization had also dawned on him along with the one that Scully could someday be a mother. It would mean that she would have to leave their work behind. That was something he wasn't ready to come to terms with and he didn't like the thought of her not being his partner. His selfishness was also appalling but he couldn't help himself. Without her, he wouldn't be able to continue his search for the truth. Her strict logic had a way of keeping him on track and steering his mind to make the mental leaps necessary for his quest. Then again, he would also ditch her in order to keep her out of harm’s way. There appeared to be other reasons for wanting her around but he didn’t dare examine them to a full extent.

“Now look here Miss Scully,” he jested in a mild southern drawl and handed her the peeled tangerine. “I can blend in with small town folk if I need to.”

When she took the fruit and smiled, surrounded by the sunshine and quaintness of the small town, he realized he couldn't expect her to be tied down to the X-Files forever. She deserved nice things like kids and a big house. Of all she had been put through, she had earned something conventional that wasn’t tainted by shadowy figures and death.

“Is there a time stamp on when you might give up aliens and tractor beams for normal?” she teased.

She smirked at him before returning her attention to the fruit in her hand. He laughed and ate a tangerine wedge as well.

“There's just...things I need to do and find out.”

She nodded and their eyes locked in a shared understanding. This kind of unspoken communication they had was another unique feature of their relationship that he couldn’t do without.

“We both do,” she reassured him.

There was a brief moment of silence between them and his mind drifted back to their conversation on the bench. Before he could examine his thoughts any further his curiosity persevered.

“So...would you want kids?” he asked.

“Um… I don't know. Our line of work isn't exactly kid friendly,” she pointed out.

He could see that with her intelligence and strong protective nature she would make a great mother. If the way she looked after him was any indicator of how she would be as a parent, some little boy or girl would be really lucky someday.

“I do enjoy spending time with my nephew, but I’m glad I'm able to give him back.”

They both laughed lightly. He felt delighted in knowing that the male companionship she kept outside of work was a young boy who was related to her.

“That bad, huh?”

“No, he's a great kid and really sweet,” she began.

Mulder sensed there was something she wasn't sharing. “But?”

“But I know that kids take a lot of work and require a certain kind of lifestyle that I'm not sure I'm ready to have yet. There are a lot of sacrifices I'd have to make regarding our work and my career.” She paused and he could tell she was weighing another statement in her mind. “Besides... I already have you to take care of.”

The expression on her face was adorable as she looked at him with a playful smile. He enjoyed being teased by her.

“Ha-ha,” he provided good-naturedly.

“What about you?”

She gazed at him with genuine interest but with a hint of something else. It was parallel to their earlier exchange when she asked about his family’s genetic history.

“I like kids but I haven't really spent any time around them since I was one myself,” he acknowledged as he glanced over at her. “I really don't know.”

“I know what you mean,” she agreed. “Conventional society expects us to settle down and raise families but it's never been a role I've been able to picture myself fulfilling. Maybe I'm just protecting myself after what we saw in that baby.”

Her eyes narrowed, a vertical wrinkle formed between her eyebrows, and her lips pursed slightly. It was either because of the sun’s brightness or she was really that thrown off by the thought of being someone’s progenitor.

“Yeah, but Scully,” he reminded her as his hand touched her lower back. He mustered his best imitation of a whining child and intoned, “You’d make a great mom.”

She averted her eyes and licked her lips. Her reaction to his comment registered mild astonishment and he found it hard to believe that she hadn’t heard it often. There were other things he wanted to let her know, like how pretty she looked, but those were the type of things that you weren't supposed to share with your work partner. Not that Mulder was one for following perfect protocol so it was more out of doubt and fear that she wouldn’t be receptive to such remarks from him.

“Now me, with kids, that’s spooky right?”

“Don't sell yourself short, Mulder,” she told him as she finished the remainder of the tangerine. “Besides they're a lot cuddlier and cuter than lake monsters and flukemen.”

At the moment, he wasn't sure what he truly found more frightening. The responsibility that came with being someone's father seemed to have more dire repercussions than not being able to capture Big Blue. He had acquired this impression from the strained relationship he had with his parents.

“Sounds like the FBI also trains for parenthood,” he deadpanned.

She laughed and shook her head. It appeared she was going to add something else but the mood of their conversation shifted as the Peacock house came into view.

“Here we are,” she murmured. “I wonder if anyone's home.”

******

After several more tragedies, including the deaths of Sheriff Taylor and his wife, the case came to an end. An A.P.B. and roadblock were set in place for the capture of Edmund and Mrs. Peacock.

Mulder made his way to their car and got in. Scully joined him as she sat in the passenger seat. He rested his elbow on the steering wheel and placed his chin against his knuckles in a pensive state.

“What is it, Mulder?”

“It's just such a normal and quiet place, Scully,” he said with a wave of his hand. “And then something like this happens.”

“They won't get far,” she assured him. “There will be justice for Sheriff Taylor and all the others.”

He couldn't help but be reminded of his own childhood home. The neighborhood was quiet with great curb appeal but his sister had disappeared one night without a trace. Would he ever be able to acquire justice for Samantha?

“And besides,” she continued. “Normal is not all that it's cracked up to be.”

She gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze then retracted her hand and rummaged through her purse.

“Here,” she proffered as she held out a tangerine to him.

“Thanks, Scully, but isn't this your last one?”

“It's okay. I can share.”

His hands searched through his pockets and pulled out a lone sunflower seed.

“You want my seed?” he offered. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and the corners of her mouth quirked together into an amused but slightly suppressed smile. “What?”

They enjoyed the little orange fruit and made small talk about psychokinesis and its elusive scientific evidence before buckling up their seat belts and driving off into the night.

@today-in-fic 

@ficlibrary

[heckin-harrington]

87 question tag!

87 random questions

I was tagged by @steveharringtonofficial ♥︎ thank you my friend!

I’m tagging: @mileven-353 @lovelydacre and anyone else who wants to do this! (ofc, don’t feel pressured to)

-

1. Where do you live? Texas

2. One cool item you own? A bracelet from an African Bushman tribe :)

3. Moon or stars? stars

4. Places you’d like to travel to? back to Africa, Japan, and Australia

5. Favourite song? The Only Reason - 5sos or High Enough - Damn Yankees

6. Do you have any fears? lowkey the dark, heIGHTS, roaches

7. Do you feel different than you did last year? eh, slightly worse slightly better ???

8. What is your race? white

9. Pet peeves? people my age who call me pet names bc they’re ‘older’ than me, people who think they’re the shit, just negative humans in general

10. Any siblings? one sister, two stepbrothers, and two half brothers

11. Are you a gamer? i wouldn’t consider myself a gamer but i love me some horror games and Crasj Bandicoot

12. Sexual orientation? i hate labels and i just like nice people so i’m just here :)

13. Does a broken mirror mean bad luck? eh

14. What do you feel is your mental age? maybe a little older than i am now (16) but not much, maybe 18 or so

15. How old were you when you started dating? 15 but nothin’s happened bc it gives me hella anxiety

16. Where do you do most of your online shopping? amazon or hottopic

17. Favourite animal? cheetah !!

18. What’s one film from the 2000s that you like? all my fav movies are from the 80s but i love all of the Disney Channel Original movies and ofc the HSM trilogy

19. What’s your favourite scary movie? IT bc it’s the only horror movie i’ve ever seen :,)

20. Fun fact about yourself? i’m on the autism spectrum :) i have asperger’s syndrome

21. Shoe size? 8

22. Which fictional character(s) do you relate to the most? Hermione Granger, bc i’m a huge book worm/nerd and Steve Harrington, bc i act all macho and confident but my self esteem is low but i would protect my friends at all costs

23. Where do you see yourself living in ten years? hopefully Africa working with cheetahs or San Diego working at the safari park there

24. Ever wore clothes that were just wayyy too tight? yup yup yup, theatre perks

25. What’s on your mind? my dream from last night... oh how i wish i was still sleeping to carry it on

26. Are you religious? yeah, but not a bible thumper

27. How tall are you? 5’3”

28. Favourite band? 5sos always and Def Leppard

29. Do you remember 2009? I was 8 so no, not really

30. Cats or dogs? cats

31. Fruit or vegetables? fruits

32. Do you want to get married? not currently but everyone says i’ll change my mind

33. Do you want children? no but again ^^ but if I were, I’d want a son

34. Flamingos or peacocks? flamingos

35. What superpower do you wish you had? teleportation or time travel

36. Are you a germ freak? to an extent

37. Did swearing baby, ghost car, or ghost caught on tape scare you as a kid? what???

38. Do you prefer sweet or salty? both

39. Tea or coffee? coffee

40. Are you superstitious? depends

41. Do you like stripes? yeah i guess, i don’t wear ‘em tho

42. Favourite shows as a kid? Blues Clues, Dora, Bindi the Jungle Girl, or Power Rangers: Jungle Fury

43. Favourite shows growing up? all the good Disney Channel shows

44. Favourite musical? Rock of Ages

45. Favourite movie? Monsters Inc. or any 80s movie

46. Birthday? September 30

47. Are you a grammar Nazi? sometimes

48. Ever gotten drunk? nope

49. Do you have a carrier bag? yes

50. What would you do if you were the opposite gender for a day? good lord, i have no clue. probably play with my hair (like style it ‘n such) and sing all the good guy songs from musicals

51. If you were the opposite gender what would you change your name to? apparently if I was a guy my name would’ve been Seamus (aye Irish squad where y’all at) but I’ve always liked the name Tristian

52. What song is stuck in your head? the Stranger Things rap... *sigh* leTS GO BACK TO INDIANA—

53. Celebrity crush? Michael Clifford, Joe Keery, and Dacre Montgomery hULLO

54. If you could live in a non-English speaking country, where would it be? Namibia (i have a fascination with Africa y’all)

55. Are you a good dancer? hA NO

56. Have any allergies? tree nuts

57. Any bad habits? i bite my nails and procrastinate like there’s no tomorrow

58. Ever broke a bone? nope but i have busted open my head twice

59. Are you a city or country person? city

60. Do you like your home country? yeah, America is pretty snazzy

61. Sunflowers or daisies? sunflowers

62. Tulips or roses? roses

63. Oak or maple? maple

64. Disney or Nickelodeon? Disney with a splash of Nickelodeon (iCarly, Victorious, and Drake & Josh were my SHIT)

65. WYR be obese or anorexic? obese

66. WYR be over 6 feet or under 5 feet? under 5 feet

67. Rubies or sapphires? sapphires

68. Are you stubborn? yes

69. Have you been in scouts/Girl Scouts? Yup! Currently an Ambassador Girl Scout :)

70. What type of music do you listen to? 80s hairband, pop-punk, emo, a lot of stuff actually

71. Favourite vine? “welcome to t-t-t-t-target!! *airhorns*” and sO MANY MORE

72. Beaches or castles? beaches

73. Pick the closest book to you, and write the line for page 36, line 16: “When they get to me, I cop a plea that I wasn’t in control of the car, that I was scared and pleading for the guy to stop.” -Mindhunter, John Douglas

74. Anyone in the same room as you right now? in the car with my stepdad

75. Which is worse; throwing up or diharreah? throwing up, i cry when i do... it’s a mess

76. Butterflies or lady bugs? lady bugs!

77. Do you say “K” when you’re not mad? nope, i just say it on a daily basis

78. How do you react when purposely scare you? i scream... then slap

79. Most overrated celebrity? beyonce or the kardashians

80. Do you have a globe in your room? nope

81. Do you have a dream catcher in your room? nope, I used to

82. What do you see when you look out your window? my neighbor’s house or if i look out my closet window, the street and coldesac

83. Have you been on an airplane? yup, many a times

84. Do you believe in aliens? obviously

85. Do you believe in ghosts? yES

86. Do you believe in God? yeah

87. Do you believe in yourself? haha nope

[clonerightsagenda]

*Pacific Rim voice* In the beginning these prompt responses were a few hundred words. Then a thousand. The last one was nearly 2k. This one is nearly 3. If this keeps up we could be seeing the blogger writing fuckin novellas every week because they don’t want to focus on their actual responsibilities.

Anyway this is not what the prompt meant by “witch” but here we are. This probably needs a cw: for child abuse.

Tuesjade prompt: witch

 "Are you sure you don't know anything else about the session we're headed toward?"

Jade's voice is rough from disuse. She sounds like she did when she first came aboard, when she'd spoken slowly and with inflections in the wrong places. The boys had teased her about mispronouncing common words, until that and all the other incongruities piled up and John asked, "Jade, how old *were* you when your grandpa died?" and you'd finally learned the details about what happened to your brother.

You wonder if you should be honored that you're the first person she's spoken to in a few days. She's sought you out in the kitchen, your favorite haunt. The carapaces and consorts aboard need to eat, and most of them don't know their way around a fork, let alone a healthy diet. It's something to do, and you have more to offer as a cook than a consultant at this point in your journey.

You drift over to the counter where she’s settled with her arms propped up on the slick gold surface. The admonishment to get her elbows off the counter dies on your tongue. She doesn’t look in the mood. "I've told you all I know. I'm only a guide for John, for a session you've completed. This is new territory. Can't you check your own knowledge banks for confirmation?"

She makes a face. "Most of that is buried. I can't even open the calculator application without 'program either moved or deleted' errors."

"Shame. It's handy for things like converting grams to ounces. Can’t you ask Dave? He’ll back me up."

Her ears go back. "He won't talk to me. Or anyone."

You hadn’t known that was still dangerous territory. It’s been months since they all started squabbling with each other, and it has mostly settled into silence. Maybe you were wrong to think quiet meant a peaceful resolution. "Haven't you three patched things up yet?"

She kicks a foot against the leg of her stool. "If they don't want to, I'm not going to be pushy."

You purse your lips but don't say anything.  Sometimes you wonder if you should have done something when the three of them first fractured. Surely whatever it is could be fixed with a little conversation. But what is your jurisdiction here? You are John and Jade's mother, but only biologically. You weren't here to watch them grow up. Would they even listen if you tried to intercede?

The one time you floated up to Jade and suggested, "Dear, can't you take a break? What has that training dummy ever done to you?" she'd brushed you off as easily as the puffs of polyester filling strewn around the room. "Someone has to focus on our end goal,” she said. “I don't want SBURB taking us by surprise again." You’d drifted away, defeated. Indecision was always your greatest flaw. Being brought back from the dead hasn't changed that. A second chance, another life, and still you hesitate.

At least you can feed her. Whenever she stops by, you make sure to fix her a plate or at least a sandwich. She always wolfs your offerings down; you think she forgets to eat. Between swallows, she asks, "What *can* you tell me?"

You take her plate back, consider running it under water, and instead start filling it up again. "I could relate some charming stories about John's father when he was a baby."

"Actually..." She gestures, and a piece of paper appears in her hand with a flash of light. "Maybe you can tell me something about your brother."

"Your grandfather? As long as it relates to our childhood together."

"It doesn't, but..." She places the paper on the counter and slides it your way. "I went through his things after he died, and I found some photographs."

You pick it up. There's Jake, all grown. He's standing next to an elegant woman in a peacock-blue dress. In front of them are two young children. The girl has Jade's smile. “Ah,” you say. “This.”

"He had a *family*." Jade bites her lip. You guess she didn't want to admit it without confirmation. "And he never told me."

"I don't know how long it lasted." You cast your mind back. "Anna Claire was a dancer, a talented one. Neither of them were celebrities by modern standards, but their marriage got some attention in the papers. They weren't Clark and Carole by any means, but I saw a story or two."

"Clark and Carole?"

You chuckle. "That's a bit dated, isn't it? Does Brangelina work better?"

She shakes her head, bewildered. You sigh. "Even when I try to keep abreast of your pop culture, I swing and miss."

Jade pulls the photo back toward herself. "They had children. They would've been my..."

"Half-siblings. Yes."

"What happened to them?"

"Anna died, if I remember rightly, and soon after Jake was voyaging again. He never could stay still. That's how I kept track - the occasional story about where he was headed next." Oh, you'd envied him, after living as you did under your stepmother's claws. If only you could have run away and never looked back. He never did. Maybe he found it easier to forget.

"What about the children?"

You shrug. "I lost track of them. This was before the days of Google. Although I did hear some strange rumors."

Jade flips the photograph over and looks at the date. It’s written in curly handwriting you don’t recognize. Anna’s, you suppose. "My meteor landed not that long after this picture was taken. Is that why he left?”

"I can't say."

"They must have hated me, if they'd known." Jade stares down at the fragile, faded family. "Do you think he knew? That SBURB was going to come, and they would have to die?"

You sigh. "My brother was very brave in some ways, but he didn't deal well with things he couldn't fight. Often instead he'd leave them behind."

Jade doesn’t say anything for a moment. Then she waves her hand, and the photograph disappears with another flash of green. "People shouldn't just leave."

You rest a hand on her shoulder. She doesn't shrug you off, but she doesn’t acknowledge your touch either. "They shouldn't. But inevitability is a terrible foe. You and your friends know a little about that, don't you?"

"It didn't stop me from doing what I had to." She leans back to stare at the ceiling, dislodging you. You glance up too – there’s nothing but the mess of pipes and ductwork that makes up the battleship roof. Above that, all you’d be able to see is the endless blur of green that makes up the borders of your reality. Oh, you miss stars. "Sometimes he'd disappear for weeks. Or maybe it only felt like weeks. I was too young to have a good grasp on time. He'd come back with these terrifying monsters he’d shot. I hid the first time, but he told me it was nothing to be afraid of, because he'd beaten it. They were underling corpses. He was getting into the Medium somehow. Even going across the globe wasn't enough for him, he had to leave the whole world." She shakes her head. "I thought he'd abandoned me when I found his body. Maybe if he'd lived he would have."

These are thoughts you had, when you crumpled up a news article about Jake leaving on a ship for another land and then smoothed it out again. Both you and your daughter tend not to voice them. You're not sure whether that's a good thing. The silence keeps you steady and safe, but that leaves it locked away inside of you. "Jade..."

She looks back at you, mouth set. "Tell me about the witch. You've dropped hints about her."

You sigh and slide another full plate across the counter. "I know she wasn't human."

"How could you tell?"

"She acted so strange, it was clear she didn't know what to do with children. One day I made her angry, and..." At the time you'd been terrified, but the memory is fangless now. You’ve seen much worse in your two lifetimes. "She showed me her real face. No one will ever believe you, she said. I never even tried to tell.”

Where did you learn to hold your tongue? At your mother's knee, as they say. Cheek got you slapped, or worse. You never pointed to a bandage and said, “It wasn’t an accident." Who would they listen to, the wealthy wife of a colonel or the ungrateful girl she'd taken in out of the goodness of her heart? You'd heard people whispering behind their hands. What a self-sacrificing woman, trying to make something better of a girl of that color. The boy had been so wild. It's probably for the best he ran off, he'll come to nothing good. How did the colonel die, anyway? For a creature from a planet without variation in skin colors, she’d caught on quickly. "Low caste," she sneered at you. "No one would care what happened to you."

“I slipped in grease. I brushed up against the stove. I’m careless with a knife.” The excuses slid off your tongue like oil. She laughed at your screams and mocked your tears, so you dispensed with both of them. Instead, you played along, dutifully measuring flour into bowls and creaming butter. Eventually she let you get a job, and you dropped coins into a jar trying to save up for a ticket away and a few month's rent.

In another, more secretive spot you collected evidence. Scraps of writing in a jagged alien script. A used-up compact of the makeup she used to cover the flat gray of her skin. A tissue stained with fuchsia blood from a time she’d cut herself and dabbed at it while holding her hand away where she thought you didn’t see. The dream of one day exposing her helped you keep going, when everything in your life took on the image of an oven-hot cage.

The job brought you a little money, if not friendship. When you turned down social offers from your coworkers, fearing your mother’s reaction, they assumed you thought you were above them. Most of your shifts were spent in silence, while other employees gossiped or joked with local guests. One regular around your age liked to awe the other diners with flashy card tricks. One day he caught you looking and shuffled the cards with exaggerated care. “Looks like magic, doesn’t it?”

The words came out without you meaning them to. It had been so long since you’d practiced tricks and pranks with your brother – seeing a deck of cards made your fingers itch. “You’re good. I almost didn’t see it when you palmed the Queen of Hearts.”

His eyebrows rose. “Do you know much about card tricks?”

“A little.” You hoped that would end the conversation, but instead he slid down the counter and handed over the deck of cards.

“Show us something.”

The familiar feel of the cardstock made you bold enough to run through your adoptive father’s toughest trick. The movements came back to you at once, and the cards flowed through your fingers like water. You plucked out the ace of spades with a flourish and laid it down beside his empty plate. Some of your coworkers stared. He laughed.

“Don’t gamble with this girl, she’ll fleece you for everything you’ve got.”

“I don’t play poker,” you said.

“Want to learn?”

During your breaks he taught you card games, and you taught him a few coin tricks he didn’t know. After that, he struck up conversations with you while you were at work, and the rest of the staff began to thaw. It was… something. Enough that you asked around casually about what places might rent to a young woman living alone. A job and a young man speaking to you (even if you refused to let him call on you; there was no telling what your mother would say) put ideas in your head.

Freedom is like vanilla. It smells sweet and tastes bitter. The country was gripped by what would one day be called the Great Depression, and your hoard of dollars wouldn’t get you far. At home, as terrible as things were, you at least had a roof over your head and food on the table. Your dreams of escape were just dreams, and the flowers your suitor brought you lined the ditches on your walk back home. One day, you returned to find your secret jar empty. At dinner, you kept your hand gripped on your knife, but your mother only smiled and asked you to pass the food. Maybe taking away your earnings was enough, or maybe your minor show of defiance impressed her. You imagined it would have been worse if she’d found your other hoard.

As usual, someone else made the decision for you. One day, your mother was just… gone, leaving everything to your brother as one last act of malice. Even your freedom was her idea. Even so, you were free, and you let your memories of your brother and the not-quite-human witch fade until it all seemed like the half-formed fantasies of a child. You lived through two world wars and the era of Civil Rights, and at some point you realized you’d grown old without noticing. Life passes, and then it’s gone. But here you are, a risen ghost, and there’s a chance you might come face to face with your mother again. It’s too bad ripping away her disguise won’t suffice to defeat her this time.

Jade sits in front of you. For as long as you’ve been alive, children have been asked to grow up too fast. If anyone can defeat an alien queen, you’d trust it to them, even if it’s a burden they shouldn’t have to bear. All you can do is try to arm them as best you can. Isn’t that what the game brought you back for, anyway? To teach children how to fight your wars.

“After hearing about your close encounters, I suspect she was a troll. We're traveling to meet a few of them, so we might see her again. But I don't know for sure, I told you that. I have no inside information on the subject."

Jade drags her fork against her plate and stops when the metal draws a screech from the porcelain. "I don't think she's any of the ones we talked to." You agree with that. From what you've seen of their trollslums, none of them have your stepmother's bite. They were children - rude and abrasive, but awkward even in their malice. The witch had practice at cruelty. "What is she like?"

You tap your fingers on the counter. "She was... determined. She always got her way. It was almost admirable, in a sense.

"Admirable?"

"Yes, even if it was horrible too." You smile a little at her surprise. "Don’t think I didn’t hate her. But I envied her freedom, in a way. I didn’t have much power growing up. We can't all be legendary heroes like you, Jade. Some of us sit on the sidelines wondering if we should have done something else."

"I guess you'll have a chance to see."

"Yes, I guess I will!" That's one tidbit you could share. The Scratch has reshuffled the deck, and the faces you fly to meet will include your own.

Jade stands up and carries her plate to the sink. “I can get that,” you begin, but she nudges you away and reaches for the sponge.

“One last thing,” she says. “Why did you call her a witch?”

“Oh, I don’t know. She was wicked, and she could do things regular people couldn’t. Chase animals away with a thought, lift objects with her mind. Plus.” You chuckle. “I was too well-bred to use something stronger.”

She doesn’t look at you as she works at a stubborn spot of grease. “Do you think SBURB made me a witch because I’m bad?”

Where did that come from? “Of course not. It’s just a class, and a strong one at that. There are good witches too. And you’re the best one I know.”

That gets a faint smile out of her. “I wonder what you’ll be.”

“I’m as eager to see as you are! If you ever need someone to talk to before then…” You gesture vaguely with your disembodied hand. “I’m always here for you. You know that, right? We *are* family.”

“Of course.” She gives the clean dish a swipe with a towel and sets it down. “I’ll see you later.”

You wave at her retreating back. As always, you have the feeling you could have said something more, missed opportunities nipping at your spectral heels. The game wouldn’t make you a witch, someone forthright and full of power. Or maybe that’s your own failure, rather than something born into you. What your sixteen-year-old self will think of you, an old woman and a jester-themed ghost to boot? Will she step forward more? You hope so. You hope this time, you get it right.

[rebelmeg]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

(I know, it’s an ask meme, but... I just kinda want to do them all.  I LOVE this kinda stuff, it’s like writing a nifty journal entry for people that suck at journals, like me.)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?  Um, no... they’re right there.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?  1.  I’m very comfortable in the dark.

3. The person you would never want to meet?  Donald Trump was the first to spring to mind.

4. What is your favorite word?  Popcorn.  (Because it visually appeals to me, and it feels nice to say.  I know, that made literally zero sense.  I know.)

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?  I always fancied myself a weeping willow, but there is literally nothing willowy about me.  Ooh, ooh, can I be a fruitless pear tree?!  They turn every color from yellow to purple in autumn and they’re so pretty!

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?  Probably something like, “Ew,” or “I need to shower,”.

7. What shirt are you wearing?  It’s cute!  It’s a gray tunic with a deep V in the front with lacing, and the words, “I’d Rather Not.”

8. What do you label yourself as?  Writer.

9. Bright room or dark room?  Bright when I’m working, dim when things are winding down, dark as sin when sleeping.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?  Same thing I’m doing now, screwing around on Tumblr when I should be finishing up and going to bed.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 17 was a good year for me, I found the other half of my heart.  Everything before and after was basically a crap shoot.

12. Who told you they loved you last?  My daughters.

13. Your worst enemy?  Probably myself.

14. What is your current desktop picture?  It’s doing a slideshow through my saved file of New Years pictures.

15. Do you like someone?  Romantically, just my hubby.  He’s awfully cute.

16. The last song you listened to?  Listening to “U and Ur Hand” by P!nk right now.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?  No one wants me to have this responsibility.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I could prepare a list...

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?  Oh geez, I have no idea.  Who wants to be my slave and clean my house?

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)  My eyes!  I have pretty eyes.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?  I’ve got no idea what I’d look like, I’ve got too much boob and hip going on.  I’ll be honest, I’d have to have at least one orgasm, because I’ve always wondered what the difference is.  

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?  Secret?  Not really, I’m pretty open with all my talents.  

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?  Family members dying.  I’ve never had a close family member die, and I’m like... ridiculously afraid of that (especially my husband and kids), especially since I’m deeply religious.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.  The #11 at Jimmy Johns, plus bacon.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?  Probably on something stupid.  Discount Christmas shirts (I only have one), stuff on my wish.com list and Amazon list, that kind of thing.  Takeout from Arby’s.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?  Europe!

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?  Um... yeah, I don’t drink so... maybe the rarest, most expensive liquor known to man.  I’ll sell it and be rich.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?  No littering.

29. What is your favorite expletive?  I can’t say, I’m trying to quit.  (And it’s a bad one.)  If we’re doing PG rated expletives, I’ve taken to using “son of a nutcracker” and “oh my honk” pretty frequently...

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?  LAPTOP.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?  I know what it is.  But I’m not telling all y’all because it’s horrifically embarrassing.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!  SCOTLAND.  It only gets, like, into the 70′s there in the summer.  I can dig that.  I’m a freaking polar bear.  (Do I get to pick the celebrities I get to fictionally sleep with, because I’ve prepared a list...)

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?  Like, for a visit, or for permanent?  Because that’s different.  If it was for a visit, I’d bring back one of my two grandparents that have died.  I have QUESTIONS.  If it was for permanent... if an early term, miscarried baby counts, I’d bring back mine.

34. What was your last dream about?  I only get dreams when I’m in that weird “not 100% sleep” state, and man are they bizarre.... and I rarely remember them, but you can trust me that it was weird.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?  Yes.  Yes I am.  Exceptionally.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?  Several times, yeah.  Most of them for baby things.  (I had the baby, I was not the baby.)

37. Have you ever built a snowman?  Oh yes.  Not yet this year though, not a really awesome snowfall yet, just a few inches.

38. What is the color of your socks?  I’m wearing neon pink and navy blue Black Widow socks that I got from my hubby for Christmas!

39. What type of music do you like?  Most of it.  Seriously.  Country, rock, pop, oldies, alternative, instrumental, show tunes, classical, movie scores, Disney, Celtic and Irish.... seriously.  Most of it.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?  Sunsets, sunrises are full of tiredness.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?  Depends on my mood, really.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)  I... don’t.  I’m not a sports person unless the Olympics are involved.

43. Do you have any scars?  Lots, yeah.  Biggest is my c-section scar(s), my favorite is the one on my middle finger from when I sliced it open trying to set up a trampoline.  Pro tip, wear gloves, because those springs can slice your finger open when pulled back and loosed.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?  I’ve already graduated (high school, never went to college and I don’t regret it), I wanted to be married and happy.  I’ve mostly succeeded.  Still chasing happiness, but I get the golden moments enough that I can call it successful.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?  Probably body size, mostly because they don’t have a lot of cute clothes in my size and I have no power to change that sad standard.

46. Are you reliable?  Almost 100%, yes.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?  How does Infinity War and Avengers 4 end?

48. Do you hold grudges?  Big ones, yes.  Little ones, not so much.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?  Panda peacock.  Because a cute, cuddly panda with peacock colors?  Best.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?  Someone trying to goad me into participating in one of their infantilization fantasies that made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

51. Are you a good liar?  I’m an excellent liar.  I shouldn’t be proud of that.  I am.

52. How long could you go without talking?  Does talking to myself count, because I do that a lot...

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?  The awkward between-phase after I did a shoulder-length bob and needed to grow it out again after my perm started to lose strength too.  Poof.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?  Tons of times.  I made my own birthday cake this year.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?  I do a pretty decent British (a few dialects), I can pull of Australian, Irish, Scottish, New Zealand, French, and occasionally Russian or German, as long as I get a good audio clip first to jump off of.

56. What do you like on your toast?  Butter, or butter with jam/jelly or cinnamon sugar.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?  A terrible sketch of Marty the zebra from Madagascar for my three year old.

58. What would be you dream car?  A big honking pick-up truck with the full backseat and excellent gas mileage and fuel efficiency.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.  Okay, the way that is worded is hilarious.  I do sing sometimes, when I’ve got music going, but I am pretty quiet since neighbors.  I don’t usually do anything unusual, except sticking my loose hairs to the wall so I can wad them up and throw it all away rather than it going down the drain and clogging it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?  Not in the traditional sense, but I know we’re not alone.  It’s based in religion.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?  Rarely.  When it pops up in magazines from last year or whatever.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?  M, probably, for my name.  And, fun trivia, M is the 13th letter of the alphabet, which puts it smack in the middle.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?  DRAGONS.  I’d have a dragon as a pet if I could.  Hagrid and Charlie Weasley would be over all the time.

64. What do you think about babies?  They’re cuuuute.  Most of the time.  Mine were cutest.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.  If anyone thinks of something, do ask me.  I seriously love this stuff!

[higherfeed]

Century-Old Castles, Urban Renewal, and Czech Beer: The 4-Day Weekend in Prague

Prague is a city of contrasts. Among the Gothic churches, Art Deco façades, and abundant Baroques are modern marvels—like Gehry’s deconstructivist Dancing House or the renewed business district rising from the city center. If you look toward the westward skyline, there’s the 1891 Eiffel-esque Petrin Tower, sprouting from the Malá Strana hills near the 9th-century Prague Castle. But across the Vltava River, looming over the city center, is the tripod Žižkov TV tower. Completed in 1992, it’s often voted the ugliest structure in the world, due to the naked alien babies that crawl up and down its sides. ]] 10 Under-the-Radar European Cities Worth Visiting It’s these old and new contrasts that continually raise Prague’s profile against other European musts, like Rome, Paris, Amsterdam, or Barcelona. Prague has no shortage of tourists for this reason, and if you don’t budget enough days, you’ll spend the entire time in long lines or aimless crowds. Instead, you should slow yourself down, meander to the city’s graffiti-dotted haunts, and enjoy your Czech pints and wines at a fraction of the cost. Here’s how to plan an awesome extended weekend in Prague—four days, to be precise—to experience all it has to offer.

The lobby of the Alcron Hotel Prague Courtesy Image

Where to Stay in Prague

]] The Alcron The Alcron Hotel is a mainstay in Prague—erected in 1932 and still dripping with glorious Art Deco detail (think marble, suede, murals, statues). If you want to stay in the city center and be walking distance to the most essential stops—while also enjoying 5-star amenities and hospitality—then the Alcron is an obvious choice. You’ve got a fully equipped gym with saunas and a spa, plus three onsite eateries: the oft-Michelin-starred Alcron, with A+ presentation and pairings (and the most Art Deco room you’ve ever seen); La Rotonde for breakfast, fixe-prix lunch menus, and hearty fine dining come night; and Be Bop Bar, serving cheeky cocktails with a dash of good humor. There’s an old saying in Prague that anyone who cooks really well “cooks like the Alcron,” and you’ll take that adage home with you. But be warned—this is the kind of hotel you feel like you could live in. Palaces, Gelato, and David Himself: The 4-day Weekend in Florence Mama Shelter At the other end of the hospitality spectrum is Mama Shelter, a boisterous and colorful hot spot in Holešovice. That location is a big draw if you want to step out of the center and surround yourself with Prague’s young creative class. Mama Shelter fits the bill, with its colorful decor and equally vibrant food-and-drink menus. Their modern rooms accommodate any budget, and like any other Mama Shelter property, Prague’s is a great place to meet other travelers.

]]

What to Do in Prague

Day 1: Prague Castle, Letná, Holešovice Give the first half of your day to Prague Castle. It’s more of a castle compound, with numerous attractions contained inside. Entrance is free, but many of the interior sites charge a small fee. Get there early, before the ticketed spots open at 9 a.m. (the grounds open at 6 a.m.), since tourism groups will clog the security line entrances to the museums and churches. Those crowds typically dissipate by midday, making the final hours another quiet time to visit (3-5 p.m.). Get there by hopping on tram No. 22, or fare the steep stairs if you want to walk your way up from the St. Charles Bridge.) Once inside, prioritize the Old Royal Palace, St. George’s Basilica, and St. Vitus Cathedral, all of which can be purchased together with a bundled ticket. The other must-sees are the various garden grounds, as well as the Lobkowicz Palace, a private collection of paintings, ceramics, artifacts, and composer manuscripts (from the likes of Beethoven and Mozart). There’s also a good cafe, if you need a pick-me-up. Next, point yourself to the neighborhood of Letná, a few dollars away via taxi or a short tram ride. It’s also walking distance from the castle, and offers equally picturesque panoramas of Prague from atop the hilly Letná Park, where the city’s infamous Stalin statue once stood. In its place now is a giant metronome overlooking skater punks and musical buskers. Savor the views with a beer in hand, then make your way for lunch. You’ll be hard-pressed to stay hungry in Letná, with the number of bars, beer gardens and restaurants springing up from the city’s younger populations. Try Letná Beer Garden for drafts with a view; Mr. Hot Dog for a bevy of (you guessed it) hot dog varieties, sliders, and French fries; Alchymista for a coffee break within the Stromovka Park Japanese gardens; or Erhart Cafe to satisfy your sweet tooth. ]] The Most Epic Ways to Explore Finland’s Lapland Letná is where you’ll get your first major contrast of the trip. The 9th-century castle grounds and pockets of the neighborhood feel almost as gritty as if it were 1989, when Letná was released from the grips of communism. But that’s not to imply it lacks grandeur and scale: Keep your eyes peeled for cultural staples like National Gallery Prague, National Museum Lapidarium sculpture grounds, and see what’s happening at the Výstaviště exhibition center—though its Art Nouveau Industrial Palace is worth seeing from the outside. With a few hours left in your day, head to the neighboring Holešovice. You’ve got two key priorities: First, meander DOX Center for Contemporary Art, inhabiting an old factory and capped with the 42-meter-long “Gulliver Airship”. Secondly, settle into Vnitroblock and peruse its artist huts, record shops, and cafes. It’s here you’ll get a real taste of Prague’s 20- and 30-somethings who would prefer to avoid the city-center chaos. Instead, they meet over beers and music, preferring a more energetic and eclectic space.

]] Day 2: Old Town and Karlín Today, you’ll knock out the key central stops. At some point, be sure to catch the hourly bells from beneath the Astronomical Clock as it rotates a cast of religious characters. Your hour-long guided tour of the clock will show you the 15th-century mechanism up close, too, including its apostolic cast. Give yourself an hour to tour Old Town Hall, or book a tour to see even more of the site, including its underground cellars. Then, add another hour to meander the many side streets of Old Town, much of which is rendered gimmicky due to the high foot traffic and central location. Cross the St. Charles Bridge, which will surely be lined with tourists. (It’s much better from afar, in photographs.) This is a necessary part of your visit, as it leads to a few attractions on the other side of the Vltava River. World-Class Cuisine, Spellbinding Souqs, and Aquatic Adventures: The 4-Day Weekend in Aqaba, Jordan

]] First, point yourself to the Wallenstein Gardens (free entry), where you can ogle regal peacocks; a stunning grotto-esque drip wall that wraps an owl’s den; and a beautifully manicured garden, complete with a koi pond. Next is your chance to walk over to the Lennon Peace Wall and the Kafka Museum. The last hours of your day will be spent in picturesque Karlín. It sits across from yesterday afternoon’s destinations, Letná and Holešovice, though it’s got far fewer cultural institutions. You’re here to get a feel for Prague’s recent history—a neighborhood devastated by the floods of 2002 and since reborn. In some ways, that flood is responsible for its renovations, as Karlín was previously seen as too industrial by visitors. Today, it’s bustling with locals and still showcases magnificent Art Nouveau and Baroque structures, in addition to foodie favorites like Manifesto Market, as well as cafes galore, like EMA Espresso Bar. Meander the former factory grounds of Forum Karlín, photo-ready Lyčkovo Square, and Invalidovna, which houses Czechia’s Ministry of Defense. Walk up to Vítkov Hill to see the Jan Žižka military monument. Stay in the area for dinner, and pick between the down-to-earth and delightfully Czech Lokál or the equally Czech, but slightly more posh Eska. Day 3: Malá Strana and Vyšehrad ]] Today is not just a contrast of old and new, but also one of exertion and indulgence. Start the day with a hike through Malá Strana, which you may hear referred to as “Lesser Town.” (This is extrapolated from its literal translation of “Little Side Town,” since it sits beside the castle hill and across the river from the city center.) You can hike up to the Strahov Monastery (complete with its own well-regarded brewery onsite); or, you can begin atop the hill and meander down the Petrin hillside, below the Petrin Tower (again, that’s the Eiffel-esque one). You can climb the tower’s 299 stairs if you want an uninterrupted panorama from the top. The Car Lover’s Guide to Germany Here’s where yesterday’s trek across the Charles Bridge slightly overlaps with today’s agenda: Either day, spend some time at the base of the hill (near the river) browsing the shops along Mostecká Street. This is your second chance to see Wallenstein Gardens. Then, head south along the riverbank to the Legion Bridge. Cross here, then meander slightly south to Slovanic Island, which has a walkable inlet. Marvel at the Neo-Renaissance Žofín Palace, then block off an hour to rent a paddle boat. Hit the river and relax with a new perspective of the city.

]] After, walk south along the east bank, past the famous Dancing House (nicknamed Fred and Ginger, after Astaire and Roger), a 1996 completion by architects Vlado Milunić and Frank Gehry. Continue south to Vyšehrad, for lunch. Get the dumplings at häppies. Meander through the Vyšhehrad Cemetery, where numerous significant Czech artists are buried. Watch out for the magnificent Slavín tomb. A Yellowstone Geyser Blasted Out Years-Old Tourist Trash—See What Came Up Among Prague’s many architectural faces, Cubism stands out as one of the most prominent. You’ll see numerous examples of it outside the center, but Vyšehrad has it in droves. So look up! Make your way into Vyšehrad Gardens for city views, statues aplenty, and of all things, a fortress vineyard on the grounds of Vyšehrad Castle. Retire to the city center, making stops to see Wenceslas Square and the King Wenceslas monument; the shimmery, rotating Kafka head; or slip into Lucerna for a glance at the upsidedown equestrian statue outside Lucerna Music Bar. Head to dinner at The Alcron Hotel, at either La Rotonde (hearty fine dining) or The Alcron (for a special occasion, reservations necessary).

]] Day 4: Vinohrady Half Day, or an Out-of-Town Day Trip If you’ve only got part of the day to spare, then spend it in Vinohrady, a popular residential neighborhood just outside the center. Náměstí Míru is the square at the heart of it all, and home to the Church of St. Ludmila. Take detours to Na Švihance Street, Mánesova Street, and Římská Street to get your parting shots of Prague’s architecturally diverse façades. Hike up to the Valley of a Thousand Queens (yes, actually) for a hilltop view of the entire city. It’s optimal at sunset, but you can treat this as a metaphorical sunset on your visit. Grab beers or wine, which you can tote with you and drink in public—try Vinotéka Noelka for wine to-go—and toast to a job well done. If you’ve got time for lunch, have it at U Bulínů for a final taste of Czech cuisine. Have a full day to spare? Consider a day trip. There’s Karlovy Vary with its mineral-rich hot springs, the quaint and churchy Kutná Hora, or the public baths at Mariánské Lázně (aka Marionbad). The post Century-Old Castles, Urban Renewal, and Czech Beer: The 4-Day Weekend in Prague appeared first on Men's Journal. Read the full article

[clockworkcreatures]

This is for Brittney.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? -I do all the time. Probably 3 times a week. Like am I just making this all up. Am I real? Are you? 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? -Like 2. I'm not really afraid I'm just afraid of being attacked and tends to happen in the dark 3. The person you would never want to meet? -Probably Donald. 4. What is your favorite word? -Facetious, I learned it in 8th grade and I loved it. It took my forever to say it correctly. 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? -Pine. They smell nice and are pokey 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? -That I have a giant pimple in the middle of my forehead and it's sucks 7. What shirt are you wearing? -my kymastrie shirt. 8. What do you label yourself as? -Like sexually? Bisexual ethically? Black; African American 9. Bright room or dark room? -dark. I bought a black curtain so my room would stay dark all day. 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? -reading 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? -17 12. Who told you they loved you last? -TJ 13. Your worst enemy? -Ralph 14. What is your current desktop picture? -it's just a black screen. I'm boring and never felt like changing it 15. Do you like someone? -TJ lol 16. The last song you listened to? -Bad and Boujee 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? -Yes 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? -Donald T. Sometimes Irving though and TJ 19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? -I'm personally pretty against slavery but I would just get TJ. He would just hang out 20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) -My hair 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? -I think I would be attractive. I hope I have a beard. I would definitely want to walk around shirtless outside. Maybe try masturbating. 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? -I'm unfortunately talentless. I can do accounting pretty quickly without mistakes 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? -Butterflies 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. -Wheat bread pepper jack and cheddar cheese. Salami and bacon. Honey mustard. Olives pickles lettuce and onions. 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? -I would just put it in my savings account. That's really not a lot. I'm an adult :( 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? -I'm sad that I have to go by myself but as long as I get to come back I might go to a South American country. Maybe Brazil. They have the most black people outside of Africa. People really forget that. 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? -Rum. I think it taste alright also I can make the cake, and get drunk 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? -If you break my rules I have the right to set you to sea on a boat that's on fire. 29. What is your favorite expletive? -Fun fact I had to just look up the word expletive. But my favorite swear word is asshat. It's how I use to describe Irving. But because of who my boyfriend and my other best friend (Kathy) I don't cuss that often. 30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? -I have a box of letters I have written and that people have given me I would save that. 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? -I haven't had too many bad experiences. And I think the ones I have had are important to who I am. I wouldn't erase them 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! -Brazil 33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? -I haven't lost anyone close to me yet so I'm going to save this gift until someone I love and need in my life does die 34. What was your last dream about? -No idea. I usually write them down but I forgot. 35. Are you a good….at ice skating? -I wouldn't say I'm good. I've only done it once. It was TJ and I first date I definitely did better than him. I never fell. 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? -not that I can remember. 37. Have you ever built a snowman? - I built a snow Easter bunny one Easter but that's it. 38. What is the color of your socks? - I'm not wearing any but most of them are multi colored 39. What type of music do you like? -I mainly listen to R&B but I like 21p and similar bands whatever category they fall into. 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? -sunsets 41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? -vanilla 42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) -the Steelers 43. Do you have any scars? - I have one that's shaped like an airplane from an iron falling on me. It's really faded now. It happened when I was like 5 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? -an accountant or doing some sort of accounting for individual people or businesses. I don't think I want to work in an accounting firm. 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? -I'm not too fond of my nose but also my lack of motivation. 46. Are you reliable? -I would say so 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? -"Are you happy?" 48. Do you hold grudges? -it just depends on what the other person and how much I care about them did but I definitely can. 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? -a peacock and a raccoon. Those are my 2 favorite animals. I'm sure the combination would look scary as hell but that's fine. 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? -I've had too many to tell one exactly. I'm kind of weird. 51. Are you a good liar? -I am. I purposely do things when I tell lies that I want caught so people think those are my tales. 52. How long could you go without talking? - probably like a week 53. What has been you worst haircut/style? - probably right now. My hair is uneven because I just cut chunks out. 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? -as in birthday cake. No but I have bought my own pizza 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? -no. I suck 56. What do you like on your toast? -butter. I'm up to trying avocado though 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? -probably cubes. I don't really draw. 58. What would be you dream car? - my exact same car except it won't be a stick shift. 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. - I do sing in the shower. I usually just stand there also and like blank out 60. Do you believe in aliens? - I find it hard to know that the universe is as big as it is and that there aren't other live forms out there. Yes I believe 61. Do you often read your horoscope? -maybe twice a month. I'm obsessed with myself 62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? - F but like the cursive f 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? -dragons 64. What do you think about babies? - right now I think they are very cute but I don't want them. They would ruin my life. They are monsters. I do like them though and they tend to like me. 65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.