#were so frustrated and bad at communication
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These are all good tags.
There's something to be said for how this plays into Ford's vulnerability to Bill too. I'm reminded of this segment from the Book of Bill's missing journal pages:
I think the intent was just to point out how petty Ford is and maybe have a little chuckle at it-- being in his 30s and hanging onto an (apparently) unfair demerit from 3rd grade that didn't even cause him to have a bad grade in the end. But if you think about it from the perspective of somebody who has always repressed his anger and felt the need to maintain his status as the golden child, it makes perfect sense that he would hang onto this. For one, he probably never fully processed the hurt from it-- that has a way of making bad things seem more significant as the bad feelings linger around way longer than they would if you addressed them.
But also, every demerit for Ford is basically as good as a total failure. If he's not golden, he'll have nothing. He and especially his brother will be in even bigger trouble than usual. Getting a demerit for something he can't fix (in this case, because he disagrees with it so strongly that he can't see anything to fix) has got to be incredibly frustrating with everything he has riding on being perfect. He feels like even if he does reach perfection, it won't be enough, because other people's imperfections will ruin it and he can't control them. I mean, I can't imagine he ever managed to convince his teacher of his perfectly valid use of an Oxford comma.
And then Bill shows up and, barely knowing Ford at this point, is able to point at it and say, "Yeah, that was totally unfair because you were right." He's saying that Ford had a perfectly valid reason to be upset, while communicating that he has the same standards of perfection as Ford. Bill is establishing himself as somebody who is not only safe to be angry around but might even judge Ford more positively rather than negatively for holding resentments, and that means everything to Ford.
(This is quite toxic, in case that wasn't obvious. While it's certainly important to process anger, hanging onto grievances for years and years isn't how you do that. It'll just make you angrier in the long run by keeping the wounds open. It's also definitely not good for Ford to be told that his unhealthy degree of perfectionism is completely right and everybody else is wrong for not recognizing it.)
Only Gravity Falls fans with media literacy interact with this post pls ok ok ok so do you think some of Ford’s resentment towards Stanley was in part because he felt like he had to “protect” him from Filbrick as the golden child? Like can you imagine if everytime you got mad at your brother, no matter how justified, your dad would verbally abuse him at best and kick him out of the house at worst? How much that fear would weigh on a kid? He loves Stanley, of course he does, and OBVIOUSLY Stanley isn’t the one at fault, he’s a victim, but what is a little boy supposed to do when he’s stuck being “the good twin” and any strike against his brother, no matter how small, could result in him getting hurt? How much anger did he bottle up? How many times did he force himself to turn the other cheek just to keep him safe? How horrible that night must have been, when everything he’d spent his entire life trying to prevent ended up happening anyway? How his dreams were crushed, a promising future was snatched from him, and the one time he actually lets himself get angry about it his brother is permanently disowned? Imagine how he must have felt looking down from that window. How angry at himself he must have been. How ashamed. Man I’d close the curtains too. Torn in half between feeling responsible for the suffering of someone you care so much about and feeling rage at them for being the reason you had to stifle yourself for so long. He probably let himself believe Filbrick’s words just to bring himself comfort. Anyway I love nuance I love analysis I love when characters are flawed in ways that aren’t excused but are still tragic and understandable I love critical thinking
#none of the pines are bad people really#only bad person(?) is bill#gravity falls#gravity falls ford#stanford pines#bill cipher#the book of bill#media analysis#character discussion#toxic relationship
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୨୧ 𝓘MPERFECT FOR YOU ˒˒ JY
─── ﹙🎧﹚who knew a school project could lead to a start of something new?
pairing. jeong yoonchae x f!r genre. fluff wc. 1k notes. love w2e and yoonchae ohjygof req here ( MASTERLIST )
now playing ⋆ bad by wave to earth
HIGHSCHOOL WAS A CONFUSING TIME, especially with navigating through all of its complexities, and amidst those complexities, was you.
for the past year, yoonchae had been secretly harboring "unrequited" feelings for you, unable to fully profess them. to her, it seemed like a major challenge to express all her emotions, and so, instead she made teasing, snide remarks towards you, which to her disdain, you reciprocated.
and now, graduation was approaching rather rapidly yet, you two were still never meeting eye-to-eye. from paper airplanes thrown at you from afar during a lecture, to snarky comments made by the two of you, tension bled between the two of you.
were you two academic rivals, or just rivals? that was a lasting question in your head.
yet, beneath the facade of jeong yoonchae and her quips towards you, it was obvious to everybody else, that there was a fond connection waiting to be sparked between the two of you.
and it was more so of a question of when, where, and if.
having grown tired of yoonchae's relentless teasing towards you, alongside how hopelessly enamored she was of you, her friends began to urge her to take a different approach. and today was her lucky day; you two had been assigned a group project together, that would give the korean girl a chance with you.
"operation: initiate a conversation with y/n!" one of yoonchae's friends chirps out, making the korean girl's cheeks and ears flare. she meekly sighs, huffing out, "what- what if it goes wrong!" to which most of her friends snort, dismissing the worry lines creasing the korean girl's forehead.
"i'm serious, c'mon!"
with a book cradling in your lap, you lean against the backing of the library chair. you run a hand through your hair, as you check the time, huffing at yoonchae's blunt lateness.
you two had begrudgingly scheduled to meet up at the library for an hour or two, mainly to get ahead of the project—just so the two of you could get it over with. you knew you weren't on good terms with one-another, but nonetheless, you were irritated at how late she could be, especially on a project worth more than half your grade.
the korean girl swipes her id card into the entrance of the school library, her eyes scanning for you. she bites the inside of her cheek, afraid she was too late for the meet-up. as her eyes lock onto yours, yoonchae notices the hint of frustration etched across your face, as you already began to jot down notes in a frenzy.
despite yoonchae approaching you with a nervous expression playing on her face, she couldn't help but play it off as casual, acting like the usual snarky person she was towards you.
"working hard, aren't you?" yoonchae drawls, her voice smooth and teasing, as she saunters over to you. her hips lean against the table you occupied, as a sudden warmth spreads around her cheeks.
her eyes dart elsewhere, as she murmurs curses under her breaths upon realizing her friends were tucked away in a corner, watching you and yoonchae. her confident demeanor slowly slips, as she tries to depict out what her friends were trying to communicate through their dramatic, animated arm movements.
"'course i am, especially when you're late," you quip back, your brows slightly furrowing, as you watch yoonchae pull up a chair to the table, your expression a mix of weariness and irritation.
the korean girl meekly pulls the chair closer to you, her elbows perpendicular to the wooden table. she fixes her collar, her eyes observing your movements, before she clears her throat, her eyes softening at the sight of the exasperation painting your face.
"look—i just wanna finish this project, and before we can have it go smoothly, i wanted to apologize to you," yoonchae pauses, a gentle smile tugging at her lips, "i just wanted to say, i'm sorry for being rude to you; i know 's really annoying or whatever."
your mouth holds slightly agape, as you nod, almost in disbelief at the girl genuinely apologizing. a hint of skepticism is present in your gaze, as your eyes scan the people in the library, barely missing yoonchae's group of friends pretending to busy themselves with a stack of random books.
"really?"
"yes, really," a slight giggle escapes the korean girl's throat at your disbelief, her tone tinging with sincerity, "i think we could be a good team with the arguments put aside, and i need a good grade anyway."
yoonchae's comment makes you scoff, as a smile tugs at the corners of your lips, your stubbornness crumbling. you look over the syllabus to review the instructions and criteria of the project, while yoonchae's hand creeps closer to yours, as you barely notice it.
and god, the korean girl couldn't help but swoon at the way your eyes are intently boring into the laptop screen, your brows slightly furrowing. as time passes by, the two of your guys' hands inch closer to one-another's, as in an hour, yoonchae's hands are hovering over yours, her nails tracing over your knuckles.
in between the time you two spent together working on the project, your guys' defensive layers begin to shed rather rapidly, the arguments sparked previously now replaced by laughter and sarcastic, light-hearted comments. maybe the project wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.
her hand rests on your hand, as they tenderly rub your knuckles unconsciously, neither of you pointing it out at all. flushed cheeks play on the two of your guys' face at the warmth between the two of you, as you try to dismiss it, avoiding eye-contact with yoonchae.
in celebration of getting full marks on the project, the korean girl suggested a day out—just the two of you—which was really, an excuse for her to take you out on a "date" to her.
the clouds glide across the sky, as her head rests against your shoulder, making you hum quietly. beneath you was a bamboo mat accompanied by a basket of snacks on top of it, to keep the two of you from starving.
you sigh heavenly, "you're better than how i thought you were," your giggles float through the air, the sun illuminating yoonchae's features. a rosy blush tints your skin at the beauty of the korean girl, your eyes tracing over her lips unconsciously.
yoonchae nudges you playfully, a huff escaping her lips, "shut up!" she rolls her eyes, as her hand instinctively hovers over yours, "i have somethin' to tell you anyway."
"yeah?" she earns a hum of acknowledgment from you, as you tilt your head, your thumb rubbing against her knuckles gently.
"yeah," the korean girl nods, as she hesitates for a moment; the weight of the words waiting to be escaping the tip of her tongue.
"i have liked you," she pauses, "for a while now."
your eyes widen in disbelief once again, as your eyebrows furrow, a mixture of shock and confusion dancing on your features.
yoonchae clears her throat, her heart heavy, "i know i was an ass to you, so 'm not gonna blame you if you aren't into me or anything."
"—but i do like you, a lot."
at her confession, you remain silent, your gaze locking onto the korean girl's, as you nod, trying to process all the information coming at you. a smile creeps across your face, as a giggle escapes your breath at her agitation.
"me too—i like you too, a lot," you murmur, as you inch yourself closer to yoonchae, your lips making ways against hers hastily. her hands rest on your hips, as she presses kisses against your lips feverishly.
a grin plays on her face at your faint blush. "couldn't get you out of my head, y'know that," she whispers against your lips, her words taking your breath away.
there's a brown hue in your eyes
how pretty it is
i think i'm in love
taglist. ୨ৎ @lararajjj @kisshae @sed7ction
@jellaaa @yeetaberry127 @angelixstorm
#fics .#kpop imagines#kpop x reader#katseye x reader#katseye imagines#katseye yoonchae#katseye jeong yoonchae#katseye yoonchae x reader#katseye jeong yoonchae x reader#jeong yoonchae x reader#yoonchae x reader
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Amatonormativity is the set of societal assumptions that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship. Unlearning amatonormativity is important, and I wish it wasn't so often pushed to the sidelines within the LGBTQ+ community. It's rare to hear someone who isn't a-spec talk about amatonormativity. On the rare occasion, someone who isn't a-spec talks about it they're usually ethically non-monogamous and/or practice relationship anarchy. My friend and my ex-girlfriend are both aro and are in a close intimate friendship and everyone assumes that they're dating. If you really want to be an ally to aromantic people start unlearning amatonormativity and stop assuming that people who are close are dating or that they secretly want to date. The "well I didn't know you were aromantic" isn't an excuse, just stop assuming that people are dating. I'm not saying it's easy, even as an ethically non-monogamous aroace I have a lot of amatonormativity to unlearn. It's just frustrating when someone believes, well I'm queer so I'm a safe person and that's where it ends. Obviously this isn't just with aphobia and amatonormativity, but also transphobia, biphobia, interphobia, racism, ableism, misogyny, etc. Being queer doesn't automatically make us better, safer, more understanding people we actually have to put in the work. You know what? even when you do start unlearning things you're probably going to make mistakes, and someone's probably going to confront you, and that's okay. That's a part of the journey. I know confrontation can be anxiety provoking. Trust me, I know, and I know it's easy to become defensive, but this is how we learn and don't continue to hurt people. Also, folks are allowed to be upset when you say something ignorant, even if you didn't have bad intentions. I know this blog post is kind of all over the place, but this has been on my mind today.
#lgbtq+#queer#amatonormativity#aro#aromantic#tw aphobia#ace#asexuality#asexual#aromanticism#aspec#aphobia#trans#nonbinary#ethical non monogamy#queer platonic relationship#relationship anarchy
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hiii could you do paul x reader
soooo reader is bella's older sister and paul is imprinted on her
Reader knows about bella decision of turned into vampire after her graduation and reader get into a bad depression and her mental ill went too bad cuz she loves her sister too much and doesn't want her to be a monster
and paul with the other pack trying to help her to be better
btw i'm gonna call myself 🥑anon so you can recognise mee😘😘😘
Thank you for your hard work you always do the bestt fics 💖💖💖💖
I've requested alot before and you always ATEEEE thaatt
heyy 🥑anon 💜 thanks so much for supporting my fics so this really means a whole lot !! hope you enjoy :)
my sister says the saddest things - paul x reader
A hand was splayed out, watching the light of the diamonds bounce around in the room. A smile was thrown your way as you watched your little sister admire her ring.
A tight smile was all you could give her. The ring surely was beautiful. However, it didn’t stop you from furrowing your eyebrows. You move your laptop out of the way as you sit up straighter.
“I thought you didn’t like the idea of marriage?” you question her.
She shrugs as she continues to stare at it, “We had to compromise.” she answers quietly.
“What?” you ask, wanting to know what it was, opening your ears so the words from her mouth could be clear.
“He…If I marry him, he’ll change me.” she rushes out but not meeting your gaze.
Standing up slowly, “What?” you knew your sister was smarter than this.
“Why?” you ask, not angrily but in a disappointed tone.
“We will be with each other forever. I don’t want to grow old and Edward still looks the same.” she tells you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You look elsewhere as you pace a bit. Bella blows out a breath, as you ask quietly, “So..He’s going to do it exactly when?”
“After graduation.”
“Bella you’ve got to be kidding me.” you say to her as she looks down, “Are you serious?” you ask her again.
“I will still be me. It’s not like I’m going to change and become a different person.” She says to plead her case.
“Yes you will. You will be a cold one. A monster.” you say to her, gritting a bit.
“I will not! You don’t have to use those words.”
“What other words can I call that? Seriously. Sure, you’ll live forever but the moment that venom enters your blood stream I will lose you forever. What about mom? What about dad?” you say and continue to pace.
“I will still keep in contact. That’s why you don’t have to worry.” she says, not even thinking about changing her mind.
“You’re altering your life for some boy. A boy who isn’t even a boy but 119 years old! Come on, think!” you tell her, trying to keep your voice from pitching since Charlie was only downstairs in the living room.
“He’s not some boy and you know that. He’s my soulmate just like Paul is yours.” she says, taking a bit of offense.
“I don’t know. Soulmates don’t dump you in the middle of the woods. Soulmates don’t leave you for months on end and claim it’s to ‘protect you’ ” you say as you form quotation marks with your fingers.
Bella stands and narrows her eyes at you, “Wow.” she says and just leaves out of your room, not bothering to close the door back. You move to the door and push to slam it. A frustrated sigh moves past your lips as tears start to prickle.
Being a vampire wasn’t normal. Sure being a shapeshifter wasn’t exactly normal either but at least they still had a heart beat that thumps. They didn’t have to die to transform.
There was still months of school left. You were in your freshman year of community college while she was still in her last year of high school. It made you sad that you didn’t want the school year to end. You hoped and prayed that it would drag on just so you could still be around your living and breathing sister.
At breakfast, things were a bit tense. You kept staring at her and Bella kept staring at you. Charlie noticed as he set his coffee cup down and clears his throat.
“You girls alright?” he asked.
Bella doesn’t say anything but you broke the silence by getting up, “See you dad, I’m going to be late.” you tell him and push in your chair.
You didn’t bother to say goodbye to Bella, at that moment, goodbye meant forever.
You didn’t have a lot of classes this day, but after them, you camped out on the campus library. Deciding to do your homework there instead of home like you always do. You received a text from your little sister.
“Not hanging out with Edward today. Dad is working a double today. Want to just grab something ?”
“I’m okay. I’m going to study instead”
You finish typing back.
Any other time she hung with Edward after school, but you knew she wanted to make things right. You didn’t know how she could even let such thought cross her mind. You felt a dark cloud over yourself, loom as you tried to focus on your work.
Your shoulders were slumped as you listened to Paul’s voice on the phone later that night. His words didn’t process through your brain as your brain was already stuffed on how life would like for you and your sister in the future.
The sister who was cooped up in her room, knowing Edward snuck in through the window.
“Hello?” you hear Paul say into the line.
“Yes?” you say snapping out of your thoughts.
“Did you hear what I said?” Paul asks you.
He didn’t give you any hints as you say, “Um…you were talking about….I don’t know.” You finally say, defeated to give an answer.
“What were you doing?” He asks.
You rub your tired eyes, “Was just thinking about something. Sorry. Can you repeat what you said?”
“Emily’s. Are you coming tomorrow?” he asked again.
The brain inside of your noggin was flashing a trailer of feelings of how you would feel around a gathering of people. You just didn’t have it in you.
“No. I’m uh…I have a lot of work to do.” you tell him.
“You just told me you did your homework.” he plainly says, catching you red handed in a lie.
“Well, I will have homework tomorrow.” you say in a cruelty tone , taking your frustrations out on him and hang up.
Tossing the phone away from you on the other side of the bed, you put your head into your hands. You then scowl at your door.
You just kept thinking about how unfair it was for Edward to agree to do such a thing to Bella. It was like they both didn’t think or care about you or the family you and Bella came from.
You placed a pillow over your eyes, trying your best to wait for the day to pass.
The days passed slowly, your body losing the motivation to rise up out of bed. Missing classes, you just didn’t have it in you to care.
A soft but cautious knock was on your bedroom door. Your cheek was on your pillow. You didn’t have the energy to open your mouth to speak so you let the person behind your door to decipher which answer you would give.
Choosing the ‘come in’ option, your door slowly opens as you hear a meek voice speak, “Are you okay?”
You roll your eyes a bit as your head didn’t face the door. You continue to stare out of the window that faced the bed that you were currently in.
You felt a dip near your covered feet with a hand on your shoulder.
“I made you dinner.” Bella tells you.
You close your eyes and sigh, “I’m not hungry.”
The thought of food didn’t appeal to you. In fact, it made your stomach churn.
“You think people aren’t noticing but I do. You barely ate in days.” Bella calls out. You finally face her. She shakes her head as her eyes travel your face.
“And you look horrible. Whatever’s going on, we can talk about it.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” you tell her listlessly.
“Yes, there is. You’ve been blowing the pack off too. I’m tired of lying for you.” she says.
Throwing the covers off of you, you sit up. “You don’t have to lie for me.”
“Well, you’ve been acting like this since I told you about…you know.” she says.
You cross your arms and glare at a spot on your bedroom wall past her head.
“Come on, Y/N. I know you’re thinking about the worst possible outcome but it will be okay. I promise.” she tried to smoothly say but your face contort into a sorrow look as your lips tremble.
Your hand flies to your face as tears roll down your cheeks. There’s a lot that could happen.
“Please don’t cry. You’ll make me cry.” Bella says as she moves in to hug you.
“Bella just stop. You’re making things worse.” you tell her irritated, pushing her away.
“How?” she asks, feeling the unfairness.
“What do you mean how? You want me to be happy for you? Happy that you’re becoming the enemy.”
“There is no enemy. I will still be your sister. You know that the Cullens have a vegetarian diet so that’s what I will of course will fall into. It’s not like I’m going to be murdering people like the bad ones.”
“Two wings on the same bird, Bella.” you darkly say. You lay back down and turn away from her.
Bella sighs as she looks down. There was nothing else for her to say. However, she didn’t want to leave so soon. She felt it was important you two come to an understanding at least.
“Well, will you at least call Paul?” she asks. She waits for an answer but she doesn’t receive one.
You would, but your phone is dead. You didn’t feel like putting in the energy into charging it.
She sighs again and gives you the privacy that you wanted granted. You were glad that she finally left. The silent tears rolled down again, you didn’t have to worry about someone stopping you from crying.
You grudgingly walk out of your campus, with the goal being getting coffee at a nearby coffee shop.
You hear Paul’s voice as your hand was on the glass door. You turn and see his face, raking over you to see what to think about the sight in front of him.
“What’s going on?” he says, tugging you to him, away from the shop. He smushed your body to his. In a way you did feel a bit better, being around him and in his arms.
“Hm?” he asks as he noticed you haven’t said again.
You try to find the right words as he patiently waited. You sigh, before looking to him, “My sister says the saddest things.” you tell him choking up and this makes him pull you back to him again. You bury your face into his chest to hide the tears that threatened to fall.
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here if you want to talk.” He offers as you nod after a moment. He takes both thumbs to wipe your hot, salty tears away.
As you sip your hot beverage, Paul decides to speak after moments of processing all that you word vomited to him.
“If you tried talking to her and she’s still being set on it, it might just be out of your hands.” he carefully says. He hasn’t taken a drink of his own beverage. His arms were folded and his face was deep in thought.
”There’s no positivity about this. Why would she trade in her beautiful natural life for something so bleak and dangerous?”
Paul plays a bit with his cup as he looked not directly at you, but at a spot in front of you on the table.
“You have to look at it as, she’s 18. If that’s what she chooses, it’s her choice.” he says.
“I feel like I failed to protect her.”
“You did the best you could. I’m sure you did. But, it’s the life she chose. It’s out of your hands.” He says and you push your cup away.
You wrap your arms around your waist, your mind starts to think about having to accept the reality of your sister’s life.
He places a warm hand on yours, covering it completely before picking it up and keeping your hand in both of his hands.
“What would you do? If it was your sister I mean.” you ask him and he thinks for a moment.
“Of course I would be pissed off but… I would want her to be happy. It seems like Bella wouldn’t cut you out of your life.”
You hoped what he was saying was true. He looks at your hand that’s being covered by both of his, “You don’t have to shut me or the pack out you know?”
You nod, looking down.
“I’m sorry. I will make them something to extend my apologies.” You knew they went crazy for your baked treats.
Going home, you receive a call from Leah. You answer even though your phone was low on battery.
“You went AWOL. That’s so rude.” she says instead of a hello.
You tiredly laugh, “I’m sorry. I’ve just been…” you look to the side and sigh in disparity. There wasn’t much words that could explain how you’re feeling.
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Uh-“
“Exactly. Nothing. So, me and Kim will pick you up tomorrow okay?” Leah tells you and ends it with that.
As you cut the excess dough from a pie that you were making, Bella comes home. She placed her keys on the hook by the front door.
“It smells good.” Bella says grinning as she steps into the kitchen, where you were.
The lit oven showed two other pies that were currently baking. Bella was glad was that you weren’t rotting in bed. She stands next to your work station as she looks over what you have done so far.
“Do you need any help?” Bella asks.
“I got it.” you tell her.
“Are you still mad?” Bella asks you.
“No, I’m not mad.” your shoulders fall and a moment passes , “You won’t be able to eat this stuff soon.” you say in an emotional manner. The clatter of the scissors rattle on the countertop from your hands not being able to hold them anymore. She pulls you into a tight bear hug, Her forearm around the nape of your neck as she held you close.
“Please Bella. Just, please.” you pleaded through a fat sob.
Bella herself was getting emotional. Her big sister was someone she idolized and looked up to. She was very strong in her eyes and to see her break down, made her want to break down as well.
“Everything will be okay.” Bella whispers but you step out of the hug.
“Really? That’s all you can say?”
“I will be happy. I love him, sissy. If it was the other way around, I would want you to be selfish for your own happiness too. Look, ” she says before looking down, “He didn’t want to change me. I insisted him on doing so. He then told me to marry him. We’re both doing something we don’t want to do but we’re doing it because of the love we have for each other. This wasn’t some split second decision.”
You just stare at her, “Are you sure this isn’t about when you went to Italy?”
Silence fell into the air. Bella’s hand nervously run through her hair, “It’s only part of it. I have time but I want to do it after graduation.”
“So just wait then.” you say quietly pleading.
“Alice already had a vision I would be turned.” she whines, not wanting to reconsider her chosen time frame.
“Fuck, Bella. Forever is a long time. You mean to tell me you can’t wait for that little bit of time?”
“I will be older than Edward.” she counters back. Her eyes in horror at such thought.
“You never was like this about age.” you say shaking your head. You then move to the hot oven, covering your hands to take out two hot desserts.
“Are you going to La Push?” she asks.
“Yeah. Leah is picking me up.”
“I can take you. I want to see Jake anyways.” she offers.
“I want to go alone.” you snap to her.
Hurt was displayed on her face but she understood. Leaving you alone in the kitchen as you placed the last pie in the oven to bake.
“You don’t have to chew with your mouth open. It’s disgusting.” you tell Jared, trying to fight a smile.
“Maybe you should disappear more often. If this is an apology, I will accept every time.” he says.
Paul walks past, thumping him at the back of his head before sitting next to you. This brings out a snort that you tried to hide.
“What was that for?” Jared asks, rubbing his head.
“For opening your mouth.” Paul says and drinks his drink.
Leah then comes and pull you up and away from your spot from Paul. She wraps an arm around your shoulders and ask you in an intimate matter as you both move to where people weren’t hovering around.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“I think I will be.” you say.
“Just don’t beat yourself up over it. You still have to live your own life too.”
You nod.
“We can’t kill them because of the treaty. You know this.”
You nod again.
“Plus, what did you realistically think was going to happen once she fell in love with one. She would want to fall into their lifestyle.”
“You don’t see me asking to be a shapeshifter.” you say, looking at Leah’s beautiful face. She displays her teeth as she laughs.
“It’s not possible.”
“Yeah, but if it was, I wouldn’t ask Paul to make me into one.”
This is Leah’s turn to nod. “We can’t really say unless we're really in that type of predicament.”
Embry walks past the corner you and Leah were occupying.
“Wow, cheating on Paul? That’s rich of you.” he says jokingly as he sees you two hugging each other tight.
“Would you shut the hell up?” Leah barks at him, making you bubble out a laugh.
Leah goes to shoo him away and you stay back and lean your back against the wall. You cross your arms and think. Hoping that your little sister will be happy, you couldn’t help but think about how you would grow old and would have to look at her youthful face for the rest of your limited life. Limited. There was no point in fighting or falling out with the only sister you had just because you disapproved her lifestyle choice.
Sighing, you realized that you still love your sister deeply. With your mind made up, you decided to make the most spending time with her before her human life comes to a halt. Just like you found your family, she found hers.
#paul lahote x reader#paul lahote x swan reader#paul lahote fanfic#paul lahote x you#twilight x swan sister#paul lahote x y/n#twilight fanfiction#fanfiction#imagine#paul lahote imagines#paul lahote imagine#paul lahote#angst#angst with a happy ending#angst fic#paul lahote angst#x reader#x female reader#x female y/n#twilight fandom#twilight fic#twilight angst
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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anyway to end the series on ganondorf tp's writing, my take (which isn't canon but arguable as a valid "death of the author" read imo) is that he is at his most iredeemable AND that's because he has zero things left to lose and no community left and his goal doesn't even make sense anymore he is parasitic and a ghost and pathologically obsessed by his own godlike legitimacy because that is the only thing he still has and it has prolonged his life in a horrible diminished state in a nightmare dimension so SURELY it must mean something right right RIGHT
#thoughts#twilight princess#tp#tp ganondorf#ganondorf#sorry I am quite frustrated by the Discourse#there is a middle ground between evil bad evil bad and uwu baby!!!!!!! and it's the most interesting reading!!!! aaaaaa#even him not mentioning the gerudos being immediately taken as him not caring about them is veeeery frustrating to me#like#imo the three arguable arguments about what happened to the gerudos are#1) they left hyrule because fuck that shit (real and valid) and he would have felt betrayed#2) they collaborated with hyrule to subdue him (??? that seems weird to me but sure why not) and he would have felt BETRAYED#3) they were genocided because they stood by him#and of course we could assume he doesn't care (even if he drapes his execution sword in gerudo patternings which)#(not gonna lie is probably artists not really paying attention to motives but it's still interesting and noticeable)#but wouldn't that be like. deeply traumatic either way.#would you talk about your people to the enemies you hate. would you remind them of what they took from you#in ww they are children and he is old and had time to reflect#in tp he suffered nonstop and then rejected all connection and all community and is feverishly obsessed by what almost was#and they are not children there is no generational thing happening they are all royalties (and link!!! hi link!!) the beef is genuine#and EVEN IF he doesn't care that would at least be a massive wound to his ego#he had an ego collapse followed by a massive ego surge that's literally his canon character arc#so of course he would be weird about the gerudos!! how could he not be weird about the gerudos!!#again we are always assuming lack of interiority by default for ganondorf and that annoys meeeeeee#especially when there could be unbelievably interesting and tragic interpretations from what we get
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there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it
#its like#people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards#except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that#and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option#and like#vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them#a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr#where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them#part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling#like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other#vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented#like? its not like theres any one way to fandom#and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs#but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like#idk#feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want#.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend#i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me#but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs#which is a very different dynamic#its like. hmmm words#i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages#vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal#if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe#and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need#before returning to it later when i have more time/energy#its got Longevity that discord lacks u know#........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE
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:|
#up at 4 for no reason lollolololllllll#and my brain has decided to fixate on glowstick club show the moment of like#delaying our show start time and waiting to hear from someone abt if we could start#so i could tell our members when we were starting#and i have thought abt this show sm but i haven’t thought abt that moment lmfao ??????#why am i suddenly only thinking abt that#and also thinking abt the stage manager bc i don’t think we were great w her 😭😭😭#not that we were rude or bad or anything but just personally i feel like i was thinking abt a lot of stuff#ig probably understandably but after the show ppl said the stage manager was frustrated or like#wished we were more communicative#which also lowkey wasn’t my job necessarily bc we have a logistics chair for that#but she was working w the lighting person and lemme not start thinking abt that too bc illl also start feeling bad abt that LMAO#bro like the show was great why am i like brain pooping all over it rn#like tiny little moments that probably no one remembers lol#but aso i need to actually send a msg related to this show that i’ve been procrastinating to shit#abt videos from our show that still haven’t been uploaded that i put audio on and uploaded to drive#overthinking it bc i am not in like a pleadership position anymore so#what am i doing asking them if we can upload these vids soon LOL#but also i asked over a week ago and was ghosted 😭😭😭#so i rly gotta follow up lol ANYWAY#can i pls finish this bedtime fic and have my brain shut up and sleep lol#but also i just don’t want to sleep c:#jeanne talks
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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health
#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit#which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it#so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly#i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does#which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things#im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them#like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time#whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down#and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO#so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am#and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway#and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like#and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER#and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just#her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover#me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists#THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH#ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done#latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up#i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house#thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth#godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type#i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community#hella goes home
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The State of AAA Games in the Modern Era
youtube
"Before the internet became a core facet of gaming, if a studio dropped an unfinished game, that game stayed unfinished." "If a game launched in a poor state, that became the game's legacy."
And a quote from the video linked in #2 in my sources below: "This corporate mindset has encouraged studios to ship now, fix later, and exploit the wallets of players for years down the road. And oftentimes we do see some of the lead developers from these studios even brag about how to pull off this scheme at GDC conferences: [Quote from developer] 'Overdelivery is actually dangerous. With every release that you put out there, you're setting a pattern for your community and for your players. Because it's hard to tell a team, a team that has extra cycles and they have energy and they wanna do something amazing and know how to do it and it totally would be amazing and awesome for the game! Sometimes we have to tell them, like, we shouldn't ship this because it's an overdelivery. Beware of overdelivery, overdelivery is actually dangerous.' "
These are objective facts that people were ready to tear my throat out about during what I thought was a fact-based, adult debate earlier today. Instead, I just had people repeatedly say the same thing to me over and over: "But games still had bugs on console!" Which was something I never countered. I even agreed! My point, however, was that bugs in games were much rarer, and far less impactful to the overall experience of the game - and modern games are often released in a half-finished state, with bugs that massively impact gameplay - just look at Cyberpunk 2077. It's notorious for that very thing! And yet, more than one person was willing to twist my words, and take things out of context (repeatedly trying to nitpick things like Pokemon Gen 1 bugs - things that were not relevant to the discussion, as they were not bugs even remotely comparable to those in modern AAA games upon release) to desperately cling to some idea that console games were released in as bad of a state as modern games are? I don't know why, when console games would have literally killed consoles and gaming as a hobby, if they had been regularly released in as bad of a state as current digital/online only games currently are. It's a fact, and not an opinion that more games in the modern era release in a half-finished, buggy state that makes games unplayable upon release. That is not an opinion. Here's another article about it! (There's lots of videos/articles about this very thing, with just a cursory Google search.)
Yes, console games had bugs - and the ones notorious for those bugs that made story or gameplay basically impossible... bombed! A modern game, like Cyberpunk, that releases with massive bugs? Simply promises to keep patching the unfinished product, which you could not do on a physical product. This is a fact, and not an opinion. Someone claimed that console games would just make a better version, and re-release the game... which doesn't amount to much, because the game already has a bad rep, and no one will pay twice for the same thing (were your parents going to buy you the same $40-60 game a second time back then? Doubtful. No one in their right mind would.), nor would you trust that publisher a second time. That's not the same thing as releasing Cyberpunk in a half-made state, unplayable and bug-ridden and missing core/promised features, and just... finishing it over the next couple years after taking people's money for the half-baked product that wasn't what you promised. They're not asking you to pay for the game twice, they're just making you buy an unfinished product that won't be complete for another year or so (if it ever is). As the video states, there were two years of class action lawsuits - which I don't recall hearing about with console games, because you simply couldn't release only a partial part of a game you claimed was complete, and hope people stuck around for patches, because you couldn't just try and clean up your mess once a disc or cartridge was purchased. If there were incomplete textures, and you couldn't progress the story/engage in gameplay due to game-breaking bugs, that was it. You were screwed.
The modern era and advent of online-only products has led to AAA publishers releasing more and more unfinished products with game-breaking bugs because "we can fix it later"/it's cheaper to fix after launch/because executives simply don't care how it impacts the players, because they have pre-order money in their pockets already/they continue to mistreat the devs of the games, and force them to release unfinished products, and move on to the next cash-grab. These are facts. Not opinions.
Anyways, here's more fact-based sources. One
Two
Three...this video is even from five years ago! (And quotes someone from 8 years prior to that stating that: "The answer for us as publishers is to actually sell unfinished games..."
Four
Five
Next time you find yourself heated by facts that aren't opinions, don't attack the person dealing out the facts, and claim they said something they didn't say - especially if it's the exact opposite of something they said multiple times. Once you start taunting and being childish in a debate, it becomes clear you're not an adult, and shouldn't be partaking in serious, adult conversations - no matter the topic. Objective facts may make you mad, but hey - I'm mad that modern games release in a shitty state thanks to being fully online these days, and not releasing in a physical state that encourages Publishers to release a full, and mostly bug-free game (free of bugs that impact gameplay or story in a serious way, at least. The occasional NPC glitched into a wall or the sky isn't a huge deal, and a wacky texture here and there is mostly hilarious.) Anyways, Donald Trump simply attacks people who use facts in a debate! Don't be like Donald Trump. Don't choose to attack the other person, instead of using objective-based-facts to debate/discuss things. Debates shouldn't make you mad - they should be interesting, and enlightening, and you (or the other person, or all parties) should learn from them. And inevitably, in fact based discussions...someone is wrong! I'm often wrong. I like learning new things. But letting your emotions guide you in a fact based discussion that is very literal and not rooted in emotional appeals... just makes a mess.
#AAA games#game development#anyways I remain baffled that people were willing to die on this hill and try to say I was wrong about objective facts#And then after being lied about and gaslit I was told *I* behaved childishly lmao!#and was given 0 reasons why#so basically 'I find your ADHD frustrating and can't give you a good reason' and 'toxic positivity is the expectation in XIV communities'#being bullied out of FFXIV spaces by toxic positivity has me sick and tired of trying to be active in XIV spaces and meet people#you can be the one being attacked and they'll still tell you that it's your fault and everyone was bad#I even defended the apparent 'four' other people they said were 'bad' - no one was wrong in that situation -#except the one person who made a shitty remark and taunted me... then gaslit me publicly#oh well I'm not afraid of defending myself - I'm a grown ass woman
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<- first world problems alert.
bro I see all these live2d showcases of BEAUTIFUL art with the WORST rigging every DAY and I want to chew on my controller and yell I can rig better than that just give me a CHANCE!!!!
my biggest flaw is that i can't make a showcase of my rigging so I can't pitch my hat into the ring. even when I stream, I'm using the lumpy cousin of face tracking softwares so my model is glitchy and stiff. I'd do anything for vbridger tracking ..... shy of getting an actual iphone to use it. ughh
#were going to try a new software soon bc vtube studio is so bad next to (nvidia??) and vbridger#its so frustrating lol#I CAN RIG SO GOOD I JUST DONT HAVE THE TOOLS TO COMMUNICATE IT!!!#i just wish i could rig other peoples art i think it would look sm better than rigging my own art#but how do i even START#the answer is getting an iphone and using twitter and both of those options are bad
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Existing in Prime fandom is seeing posts about Nine and 99% of the time either thinking "congrats, you fell for his act" or "...and you just believed what other characters said about him over his pattern of actions?"
#i just be ramblin#not tagging this with any fandom tags#The sequel to this is the sheer amount of people who either wer#were mad that he wasn't evil and irredeemable enough or mad that his 'redemption arc' wasn't done well or mad that he didn't die in the end#And you can just tell how many people either chose to read into him as shallowly as possible or underestimated the writing from the getgo#and then called it bad writing when the show didn't go the direction they wanted it to#fandom wank#Buuuuuut if I complained in detail about all this there'd be no point so I'll refrain#Although I do want to say this. I've found a surprising amount of people act like they're doing this super profound media analysis for#characters or ships. But then the extent of their 'analysis' is basically putting in some screenshots for good measure‚ taking a really#shallow read of the characters/ship‚ and then acting like it's deep or a hot take#Like as an example. Imagine you like a ship. You're happy because so many people are posting analysis of the ship in the show you're#watching with screenshots to boot.#You're expecting profound analysis of their expressions and goals and roles in the story and why they act the way they do.#What do you get? People doing the barest minimum of paralleling this ship to their appearances in other media to celebrate the moments#they've accumulated‚ finding other dubs just to see if they said 'I love you' in that one‚ !#and posting some screenshots so they can say 'omg they secretly care each other🥺'#And of course this is usual fandom behavior. But we're talking this from people who within their own posts or community are acting like this#posting is indicative of them proving just how much canon potential the ship has.#So it makes you frustrated because like. There is substance here that one could dig deep into but no one does while pretending they do
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God that heartliming post reminded me that aof knows how to do disability representation appropriately and keep characterization consistent and fully develop even side characters and depict equal healthy relationships like babygirl did u forget?? 😭😭 what happened???
#man heart and liming BOTH had lives outside of each other and Jim was frustrating as a parental figure but u could actually see how he was#trying and he was apologetic and so it didn’t feel undeserved when liming said he loved him and even heart’s parents who really did cut him#off from the entire world and didn’t even try to communicate with him themselves saw how wrong they were and apologized and felt#appropriately bad AND DID BETTER!!!!! and there was never any attempt to ‘fix’ heart and it was even clear that he wasn’t inherently unhappy#because of his disability but bc of how he was treated because of it#like we’ve seen u do it before!!!! and u did it so well that it made the mess of jimwen worth watching!!!!#that’s all the more reason why last twilight was such a colossal let down like we’ve seen what it could have been 😭😭😭😭
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yowch 🧍♂️
#ok medical tmi in the tags ->#ok i think ive pinpointed what frustrates me abt telling people i dont feel well#like it almost feels like a lie or just something i shouldnt talk abt bc like. ive been in a place docs would call 'bad' for like. 5-6 yrs#but within that time what i have felt has been SO varied. like. week to week day to day i the types of symptoms are so different#like this week ive been in a lot more pain but its been like isolated 5-10mins of very distressing pain. w almost nothing at other times#accopanied w like a really concerning amt of bathroom trips including like 3x a night which sucks for my sleep#and also my commute to work 🧍♂️#but like i remember in college there were periods where my number 1 distressing symptom was cramping throughout the day#or there have been periods where nausea and lack of appetite is the thing that worries me the most#idk now that ive typed that out it sounds so similar like its all gi symptoms. but it FEELS so different. its like a different illness#but to most other ppl its like. ive been sick with this one thing forever#idk idk i know most illnesses are kind of fluid like this and im not alone#but when ppl ask me how im doing and im like. well bad. its like i dont know how to express that its such a different bad than last tues#and like the degree of bad def changes but theyre all still bad. how do u communicate that esp to healthy ppl#oughghgghh im just. feeling so bad in such a diff way. its been a week but my pain has been real high#and like Dude. i am losing fluids 🧍♂️
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i wish vacationing to another flight didn't come with a 1500g price tag. i'm partially considering switching flights but i don't want to go through the whole deal only to find out i don't like the new one and want to go back but have to wait 6 months And scrounge up *1500* gems on top
(tags of this post veer into a personal vent about my first time being a sheet attendant, just a head's up)
#also i really like the emberglow hearth lair banner. pretty golden trees every time i see my dragons#and i like fire's eyes and primal the best. i have a lot of gray/white/black-range breeding pairs#and the orange colors stand out perfectly#however. i'm in a bit of an I Wanna Help With Dom phase#and i Know earth's got its shit together. i want in on that organizational structure#and i know fire's still getting its footing back and yeah things can't get better without people staying...#eh. idunno. maybe i'm just frustrated this week. have to revisit the idea after a few naps#and maybe it was just a quirk of this week. maybe next push attending will be easier#twice so far i was babysitting pb bc i got on when 3+ people were doing raffle#and then went to update my fund count only to find out i was the only one online at all#no telling how long nobody had been taking raffle dragons. couldve been 5 minutes. couldve been an hour#either way: 0 announcements that people were going offline#and i don't mind doing raffle solo! i mind that people just let it go dead!#this is why we have a bad rep!#*flopping onto the ground* blugh. i just wish there was more effort put into communicating#i'm just very autistic and hate surprises and uncoordinated team work
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Having my level of hearing loss is so exhausting sometimes.
No. I'm not completely deaf.
Yes. I can hear you.
No. I can't hear you that well.
Yes. I can hear a movie without subtitles but if it doesn't have subtitles I will explode.
Yes. I am able to hear without my hearing aids.
No. I can't hear like a hearing person.
No. I'm not entirely deaf.
No. I'm not half deaf.
Yes. I have hearing loss.
No. My hearing loss is not what you think it is.
#it's so frustrating#and sometimes i feel like i hear *too well* to be part of the deaf/hoh community#but *too bad* to be in the hearing community#there are so many levels of hearing loss#and i just happen to be where i can function just well enough that people don't even know i have hearing loss#but still struggle because of it#sorry I'm venting#i overheard an entire conversation about me because the person thought i couldn't hear them#they were right next to me#i.#vent post
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