#went ham w the spices

[simplyghosting]

Made chicken noodle soup for the first time today!

[tomorobo-illust]

See hi-res version here: patreon.com/posts/100963881

Wandering Spirit AU/Ghost Ingo AU created by @sapphireclaw, who requested art from their creation!! As you can see, I went a bit HAM on this >w>; I couldn't believe I haven't drawn anything for your AU at all so I think all my pent up inspiration got dumped here XD

If you have not heard of Wandering Spirit AU/Ghost Ingo AU, go check it out here!!: sapphireclaw.tumblr.com/tagged/wandering%20spirit%20au

Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to self indulge like this! This AU is so wholesome and got that right amount of angst for spice~

[0ystercatcher]

finally the other topic thats been on my mind. the food. oohhh the food. enormous post warning. i hope to god the read more works.

ok for starters. its good. i cant complain. variety and spread were pretty great (goes so hard to have diaspora from all over the world in your country you literally can get anything if you know where to look), quality was good, portions are INCREDIBLY generous even considering price most of the time, and price is....fine. i hated it bc again exchange rates fucked me over but i didnt see anything... outrageous anywhere we went to OTHER than the baseball game but that i expected and was prepared for so i didnt like, insta vomit when i saw the menu. i didnt try nearly everything i wanted to but, well, i have limited space in my tummy.

there were... some questionable items. at the store. like, ham with cheese inside it that looked like it had some kind of pox. all sorts of um. wrong looking. gooey cheese products. all very yellow and with a scary toxic look to them. i did eat the cheetos tho they were fine and acceptably orange.

like... im sorry. this isnt ok. this shouldnt exist. this is wrong.

there were also all sorts of what id consider, niche? not very high circulation? products. that looked interesting. also cheeses, this time delicious and amazing (im still so pissed i left the horseradish cheddar i wanted to bring home in ks fridge), great great snacks, treats of all sorts (some good some eh?), all kinds of baking ingredients and cooking ingredients, so many dry spices and powders and seasonings. asian ingredients and mexican ingredients seemed greatly favored which tbh was appreciated bc there was stuff id never seen before that got me very curious + i found my fav mexican candy which i missed. also, chicken is p cheap over there, i was surprised its basically as cheap as it is here, maybe slightly cheaper even. all in all, tbh, you can eat pretty well buying fairly cheap and healthy items with...not many problems. like...a big big bag of kale was like...4 usd. thats so good. chicken and tuna and sardines were cheap. pasta is cheap as hell as it is everywhere. veggies and fruit are kind of hit or miss but i think thats somewhat seasonal as it is everywhere. canned food is cheaper there too?? not bad at all. next time i want to go to a costco and see how it goes to buy stuff in bulk, it looks promising.

idk where im going w this post so now im just gonna list the memorable meals or treats or ingredients i sampled/had over there (inconsistent list bc some are homemade meals made by moi + k but whatever) and rate them. i cant put these on a normal list bc im breaking the character limit so please bear with my horrible formatting.

baseball game hotdog: 7/10 disappointingly small for the...10? 11? usd it cost. nice mustard and onions on top. NO MAYO. ketchup and relish were Fine. at least 2-3 points of the score are just the fact it was a true baseball hotdog and my first one at that. the experience is very important for this one. i cherished that more than most other things in this "meal" so id feel bad rating it lower.

baseball garlicky fries: 8/10. again 3 points for the experience and novelty of it being baseball food. i think they were 9 dollars. ok portion. CRAZY AMNTS OF GARLIC YUM. pretty tasty. NO MAYO THO!!

double cheese burger + fries + onion rings + peanut butter milkshake: 10/10. true american meal. enormous burger. couldnt finish anything other than the milkshake and k helped w that + i was about to genuinely frow up by the time i tried the last spoonful of it. the whole thing i think was about 25-30? usd each? i dont even care. it was delicious, i think the mayo was made by the restaurant itself, it was so good. beef patties were great. vegetables were great. pickles were really good. gooey ass american cheese was great. fries were crazy. onion rings were perfect. just delicious. will go again next time im there.

pho + spring rolls: 5.5/10. not bad at all. but i think pho was greatly overhyped. i ordered it w tendon and tripe which was nice to have in the us bc i know they dont like organ meats at all. it was ok. its one of those soups that i guess gets better kinda by the end when its all gotten mixed up and nicely flavored. ive had better soups though. sorry i fumbled the tip.

sushi: 8/10. nice! didnt try even close to all the options but the eel was DELICIOUS + the maki sushi was good and, honestly, very well portioned. i dont like when the maki sushi is huge esp when im trying to sample many types. and some of the salads and soups....hell yes. good price! comparable to nice sushi places here, i didnt feel it was scandalous. im giving it an 8 bc it was tasty as fuck, but i do have a comment on this. i think the us does the same thing we do which is, they shove a bunch of ingredients into maki sushi to make new ones with a lot of shit in them and im not the biggest fan of that so i didnt order those. i like simple sushi. the ones i ordered were really good tho. 8/10 for those, i dont think ill order the other ones unless i was feeling suuuper experimental. same as it ever was.

deluxe kraft mac and cheese, orig cheddar: 5/10 without adding anything to it, solid 6 with better cheese + bbq sauced hot dog in it. see we had just watched the jerma reviews mac and cheese video and we happened to find this at the store so obviously we had to try it. it was just normal mac and cheese. i think american kraft has a stronger and kinda. nastier. cheese flavor in it. so we added real cheese and other things and it was better. solid dinner.

mcdonalds: mcdonalds/mcdonalds. its mcds. it tastes the same everywhere apparently. it was fine. fresh fries were nice tho.

taco bell chicken quesadilla: 2/10. i dont really like taco bell and i kind of objected to this meal and only had a little bit. flavorful in weirdly wrong ways. not Offensive but, yknow, a strong I Would Prefer Not To. also, made me a little bloated even with lactaid to help me cope.

various food items at family meeting: 7/10. im not rating them individually there were too many, this is an average. the ones that stood out were: crispy crispy bacon for brekky. biscuits and gravy. funeral potatos? thats what they called it i think? the yogurt + fruit + maple syrup granola bowl and the smoked trout. i think this is because it was a family thing, but if not i guess it still applies? homemade american dishes are so fucking rich. im not sure i could stand eating like that every day. i know by the end of the weekend i was like.. i need normal salad. i need some rice. this cant go on forever. still, i enjoyed every dish i tried. tasty stuff!

sweet corn we roasted in a fire: 10/10 brother i love sweet corn and oonnhh hhn the butter on it. yea man. its good.

special coffee drink + bagel w cream cheese: 7/10. very generous bagel for like...under 3 usd. 3rd worlder ass price for the crazy amnt of cheese it had imho and like, i shared it with k and i was still very satisfied with the portion i got. the coffee drink was very nice. i have no idea what that woman put in it other than the 2 large espresso shots and ice i saw she added. tasty tho! and she was nice. sorry i was very bad at understanding your accent. i realized im still not at all used to that.

espresso + chocolate truffle: 9/10 just what i needed after the fish and chips feast. beautifully smooth coffee, good crema, smelled good, tasted good. great texture, good price. 8 usd for...2 espressos and 2 truffles. i think thats more than acceptable, esp in the highly touristy area we were in. the truffle itself i think was a little ordinary but paired so well w the coffee the whole thing was a win. lovely to have it next to the sea w my love after stuffing ourselves full w fish and chips. speaking of which.

fish (cod and calamari and shrimp) and chips + cider: 10/10 my god. my god. this rivals peruvian jalea. i never believed it would be possible. but it is. it was great. fresh out the fryer, pleasantly greasy but not excessively so. great flavor. great fish. nice portion. amazingggg cider and really nice tartar sauce. just what i needed after walking around for a couple hours. just a great fucking meal. will def go again if i can.

glazed? powdered? donuts? we got at the store? i dont remember the brand or name but i was curious so i grabbed a thing and k said they were pretty good: 2/10 meh. they were... whatever. i think i had one w breakfast and then i sort of gave up on them. kind of dry and too dense for a donut. maybe they were cake donuts? i dont know. i shouldnt have strayed from dunkin, im sorry dunkin. ill never let you down again.

salt vinegar chips: 10/10 one of those snacks i just. would compulsively buy if i lived there. like this would be my go to snack. they hurt the roof of my mouth but its worth it also i like the sourness bc it makes me pace myself a little.

normal ruffles: ruffles/ruffles. i like a good wavy potato chip. what can i say. i enjoyed them.

american bacon: 8/10. i understand why the us has crazy rates of cardiovascular disease. i get it. maybe its worth it. it gets one whole point solely bc of the crazy amnt of fat you can render out of it, bacon fat was Not Lacking while we cooked and i thank the bacon for this, because thats a great ingredient to have around imho.

tap water: 10/10. preddy good!

mexican limes: 2/10. im actively racist against these citrus fruits. so much flesh, no juice. they did their job and tasted Fine I Guess but they were still lame. peruvian lime or nothing baby.

fuji apples: 8/10. im fujiapplepilled. theyre nice. crispy. go well with peanut butter. yum! nice that they are grown there.

cheetos: 5/10. i had the puffs and the normal..crispy ones? non spicy bc i dont like the spicy ones. i was satisfied. theyre better than ours. still not the best snack but i was curious. bigger portion than im used to. i think i would simply not let children have them though.

beef hot dogs, from the store. in and without bun: 9/10 broooo americans are just good at these. they put like actual meat in them. theyre dense. theyre large. delicious stuff. versatile enough, reasonably priced. if this isnt their national pride it should be. wish i could have brought a pack home. my fam would love these.

some kind of mexican chorizo thing: 4/10. it was ok. k had this in the fridge when i got there? its like salchicha huachana but less good, less fresh, less colourful and less flavorful. it did what we needed it to do, i didnt dislike it. it was just. fine.

ranier beer: 7/10. yum! pleasant. slightly sweet. a fine drink for a warm sunny day. great with snacks or other treats.

pabst blue ribbon: 6/10. yum also! i liked rainier a little better tho.

the 2 ipas i had: 0/10. the only thing i had that i actively disliked. yuck. just nasty stuff.

wait i forgot

jeppsons malort: -1/10. @worldlytutor why the fuck did you buy that. that shit tasted like rat poison fr. throw that shit away rn if you still have it.

[iateyourwaffles]

Hey, sorry for not being here again in like almost half a year or so. I just haven’t really been much like myself lately, and I think it’s my m/ental health. I’ve been kinda scared to do the things that make me happy lately, due to some stuff that kinda affected me in the past associated to them. Also, I’ve been staying up late due to lack of sleep, and sometimes I would feel so tired throughout the day. My physical health hasn’t been too good either. I mean, the joint issue will always be something I have to deal with, but it has calmed down a bit these last few months, still kinda h/urts though. There’s a certain area around my mouth, like the t/ooth part, that feels like a tight p/ain at times and it h/urts. I went to the d/entist back in early december and they said that they checked that part last time and they didn’t see anything. :/ I go back later on this month, so I think I will probably try and ask them about it then. I’m kinda hoping it’s just the joint issue I have, and it’s mostly affecting that part. I hope it goes away or at least calms down. It’s been like that for a while now, though ever since a bit after I went to get my cleaning back in october. I got my cleaning on hallowe/en.

I got my costume so I got to dress up as my favorite character for fall. I had some spice apple and pu/mpkin doughnuts and my brother and I helped put up decorations for the hallo/ween party we made at home for our younger si/blings. I also got to go shopping with my aunt, and we got to hang out for the day back in november. My aunt recommended me a pe/ppermint bark w/ white c/hocolate coffee,and it was really good. My aunt said that her and I share similar tastes. xD. I also showed her my Tsukasa plushies after she showed me her p/rep nd l/anding plushies. She said they were cute. I also thought her plushies were cute. We went to the store afterwards, and got to eat at the food court they had there, and she recommended me a fruit sundae and it was really good. I like hanging out with my aunt. I feel like she understands me a bit more, and she makes me feel calm and safe. Christmas was a bit better this year, I had a hard time around last year due to pe/rsonal stuff, so that day was a bit sad back then. I had fun this year. I couldn’t hang out with my aunt though on the day before christmas, due to the snow, so that made me a little sad, but my aunt helped cheer me up since she said we can see each other during the spring to go see a play.  : ) I got to see her for a bit after chrsitmas though, we had fun, and we got to go to a resturant, and ordered some chicken and biscuits. She also gave me and others some gifts. She got me a s/ailor moon t shirt and some jeans with some socks. I loved them. The pants are comfortable and the shirt is cute, and the socks are comfy. 

Happy new year, btw. New year is one of my favorite holidays, so I had fun. I had some pork w/ rice and this food with meat and cheese in them. It was like a dough wrapped w/ meat, my favorites are the ones are the ones with ham and cheese. I like them cause you can personalize them. One year, we put apricot in them and they were good. 

So that’s what’s been happening w/ me lately. However, lately these past few weeks, my mental h/ealth has been slowly af/fecting me. As well as some physical problems. (Like dealing with my joint issues and such.) And lately, again, I have been thinking about my gender. I haven’t given it much thought in a long while, but now, I have had it on my mind again since last week. I guess I’m still trying to figure myself out. (I have mentioned this in a much o/lder post before abt my gender.) Also, I might try and see what I can do abt s/chool this year. I’m trying to stay in a more positive l/ight this year, and try and go to s/chool to start working towards my dream. My aunt is usually the one to help me get into s/chool. I’m studying a language this year a bit more though, which is one of the big parts of my dream, so that’s good. 

Oh, and I recently have been on the leader b/oard on a daily p/oint ra/nkings in one of the games I play (s//if) for about almost half a month now, so that’s something that’s pretty cool I guess. I’m usually around the top 100 or top 500 or so. One time during the first half of the r/esult,I made it to top 10. I was kinda proud. x D I went down to top 40 during the second half though, but it’s okay. I haven’t been ti/eiring for a few days due to perso/nal problems and other rl stuff though. I jumped from top 11000 to top 2000, yesterday, so that was kinda cool. And I got to exchange for a card of one of my favorite characters, that I have been wanting since I started the game years ago. I had happy tears when I got her. I set her up as my m/ain l/eader. And I got my favorite limi/ted card in another game I play. It took a long time to get him, but eventually I got him. (He didn’t come h/ome in my 300 pulls, so I had to exc/hange s//park him. )  :’’)

I hope you enjoy your day. Sorry for r/ambling a bit. ^^; 

[brideofcthulhu10]

The Lost Boys Find Out Their Fem!S/O is Pregnant [4/4]

SUBJECT WARNING: PHYSICAL AGRESSION, SEXUAL THEMES AND A WHOLE LOT OF SWEARING. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Alrighty then, my lovely fang babes! Here we are, we have the last of the first edition of the pregnancy saga! Worry not, dearest readers, for there is hope! I plan on doing a separate series about going through the pregnancy, and maybe even going through the childbirth with how the boys are as new dads. Let me know in the comments if you'd like to see more, and by tomorrow night we'll have a whole new set to love!

It was such a blast writing Paul's, I'm not gonna lie I got lost in the magic! We have a cute little character cameo for all you 80s movie nerds, lemme know if you can figure out what it is! So, without any more delays; here he is. The gorgeous, the goofy, the one, the only:

PAUL

Today had been an unexpected challenge. You barely got through your shift at the record store, every time you were in light it made you dizzy. Hangovers had nothing on this! Did you drink too much the night before? No, now that you thought about it any attempts to drink had you hugging a toilet. Not to mention your period was late as hell! Well, not the cramps, go figure. Just no blood. None at all. 

You never let on to your beau, Paul, though. The party boy vampire would become overly worried if you told him you were sick, and you weren't about to spoil a good time with a bit of nausea. So here you were, stumbling about the day into the late afternoon absolutely miserable. Your manager Iona offered you some crackers and ginger ale during your lunch break. No dice, within an hour you were running to the bathroom again. 

"Gosh hon, I dunno what ta tell ya. Maybe you ate something nasty, I told you that boardwalk food was fishy," Iona sighed, poking at her own lunch with a fork. Currently your coworker Andie was watching the front until you were feeling better.

"Kill me now, Iona," you groaned, chin resting on the table with your arms laid over your head. Then there was a smell. The greatest, most flavorful, mouthwatering scent you've ever experienced. Like a honey baked ham and a New York sirloin had a glorious new baby drizzled in ecstasy. Glancing over, your stomach growled at whatever it could be. If this were a cartoon you'd be flying to what it was.

Oddly enough, it was coming from Iona. Well, whatever black stuff was in her little plastic tupperware dish. Who cares what it was, it smelled incredible.

"Hey uh..," you asked, leaning over towards the sticky, mysterious delicacy calling your name. "You wouldn't mind if I had a bite, would ya?"

"You sure, hon? This isn't exactly your average dish, it's kinda weird," she tried to explain. God you couldn't take your eyes off it! Finally, your merciful manager pushed it your way, and you couldn't resist any longer. 

"I don't even care, this is the first thing in the past two days that hasn't made me nauseous," you muffled between cosmic bites.

Oh shit, this was heaven! It had to be some sort of meat, it reminded her of a nice spicy kielbasa, a slow roasted brisket, every second it changed to some new world of food you had never tried. What it was didn't matter by this point.

"Wooow. I've never met someone who liked black pudding that much."

Pudding? "I thought it was meat or something? It doesn't taste anything like pudding," you insisted, polishing off the very last specs of it. "Got any more?"

"No, no, not like chocolate pudding or stuff like that, kiddo. black pudding. It's this dish from the UK my new boyfriend made me. It's congealed pig's and cow blood mixed with spices."

You made a face. Blood? Like, blood blood? The cow equivalent of what Paul drank on a daily basis? Yet this was the first time you didn't puke, in fact, you kinda wanted more. Even knowing what is was made of.. for some reason you craved more. Meanwhile Iona continued to talk on and on, until one phrase caught your ears. "Yea, ya know my mom was so into for the longest time. Said she craved it her whole pregnancy, I never got a taste for it honestly."

A single thought popped into your head. A dangerous, foreboding thought that your intuition said was very much a possibility. In a flash you jumped up, nearly slamming your hands on the table. "I gotta go. Oh shit, I gotta go! I'll be right back, I swear, I'm so sorry, I swear to god I'll be right back," you shouted as you bolted out of the store.

"Wait what-?!"

You'd make it up to her once you got back. You had to know! You had to be sure..! Please just let it be paranoia! Please let it be anything, anything at all besides what you thought it was!

Once you reached the nearest CVS you made a B-line to the women's health section. Your hair clung to your face, your lungs stung like crazy but all you could think about was getting answers. And cue the disapproving glare of some old bat picking out a box of pads. Alright being 17 in front of the pregnancy tests looked bad. You weren't just a high schooler, you looked it too. "What're you looking at, " you snarl. Immediately she clutched her pearls, startled by this abrasive youngin' in no mood for dirty looks. God why'd there have to be so many options? Pink boxes, purple ones, bright yellow insisting it worked the fastest. The heavy fluorescent lights were no help at all, it made your head spin. You had no time for this crap. In a sweeping motion you grabbed three different brands and threw them into your basket, all you needed was….where was your wallet? Shit... Glancing around you checked for any nearby cameras or staff. Karma be damned, it was an emergency! Five finger discount it was. 

Once again you made a mad dash back to the record store as the sun finally set. All three boxes were crumpled in your hand, your boots running so fast it you hit a rock that'd be it.

But getting back to the record store was your best bet. You weren't about to pee in some dirty, old, nasty pharmacy bathroo- oh fuck. There was something that finally slowed your steps, nearly making you trip in the process. Four bikes parked right outside. Three of which were occupied by by Dwayne, David and Marko all talking amongst themselves.

Shiiiit, shit, shit! All you could do was swear repeatedly. Before they could spot you, you practically dove into the alleyway behind the store, rapidly disabling the alarm. If that went off it'd be a dead giveaway. Quickly you looked left and right before you slammed the door shut behind you still trying to catch air.

But there, right past the door to the employees lounge, over by the counter you could see a mass of blonde hair chatting away with Iona about Led Zeppelin's best album to date. Paul, gorgeous as every, laughing. It made your heart flutter, but then it sank. What if it was a-... He was never the type to run away from a challenge. But then again, a kid wasn't a challenge, it was a massive ordeal. It would take a huge chunk of his life- well, afterlife! Boozing and cruising would be switched out with drowsy days and busy nights. You weren't sure if you wanted him to know if you were, it would take all that from him. Unfortunately, he must've smelled you or sonething, because immediately he turned around like a puppy being called.

"Babe," he cheered with delight, rushing over to hug you. Rather squeeze you by your hips and lift you four feet off the ground. Quickly you stuffed the skinny boxes into your back pocket, now smushed up against his chest. "Where were you? Ion's said you just bolted mid-shift, we were worried sick! Well, I mean, I was more worried though, cuz I can't stand you bein' gone, kitten."

"Well, yeah uh, I forgot something I had to get at the store, and I forgot what time I got off," you hesitated, still antsy to escape to the bathroom. Truthfully you didn't actually want to, you had to! If you could, you'd just kiss him and ride off into the night to raise some hell like you always did. But this was too big to ignore.

Paul raised a brow. You weren't known for being this jumpy. You wouldn't look him in the eyes, they just kept darting towards the bathroom. Boy, you really did look sick, though. Pale, almost greenish with dark circles under your eyes. You even felt colder than usual. "Am I uh, interrupting something, babe?"

You managed to work out if his arms, giggling nervously. "Actually I-I had some of Iona's lunch earlier, and I just, gotta- be right back!"

With that, you bolted into the bathroom and slammed the door behind you. Again, weird. Paul just shrugged, maybe you had some bad Mexican.

 Iona wasn't convinced. Little miss jumpy-pants skipping out on her, you owed her an explanation. While Paul perused the albums she sunk over to the bathroom, rapidly tapping on the door. "Y/N! Psst! You good in there, hon?"

You were most certainly NOT good! Your hand shook, the third test finally finished. Not like it mattered! They all said the same thing. Every fucking one of them.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

No, no, no!

"Shit," you hissed. "Shit! Oh shit, oh fuck! Fuck-fuckity shit fuck fuck! Dammit." That's all you could do! You swore over, and over, and over, rapidly kicking the wall in front of you. Stupid pink plus! Why? Why did it have to be a plus?? Immediately you threw it in the trash and scooped up the other two. Maybe they were all flukes? Maybe only a doctor could tell you! You had to get home. Like now. Right now, you just had to rush home, make an appointment at the doctors, maybe hide in shame for a few days just until you could figure out what the hell to do with all this! Once again you wedged the tests in your back pocket and nearly tripped, cracking open the door to face your boss. "Iona, I gotta get home."

"Seriously, Y/N?? Why? What is with you?"

"Please, I swear I will make it up to you, I'll take a double shift, I'll wash your damn car-"

"Oh no, nuh-uh. Not until you tell me why you're being such a spaz," she practically shouted in a hissing whisper, absolutely exasperated. You teens and your drama, when she always said she wanted to fell young again this is NOT what she meant!  

"Listen i-... iyay amyay egnantpray," you whispered. Pig latin. It was a little code you two usually reserved for secrets. Well, that and talking smack about snotty customers. But wow was this a big ol' secret. 

Iona covered her mouth. Oh, you little idiot! You poor little idiot. Looking over at the unsuspecting boyfriend she sighed, looking you in the eyes. She wanted to just tell you to come clean to your man. The boy hung around you constantly, you two were the ultimate it-couple, there wasn't even sparks it was like watching supernovas. Something this big.. it shouldn't be left in the dark!

But that pitiful expression on your face just begged her to keep quiet, and frankly it wasn't her place to tell you what to do- well, at least in this regard. "Alright, alright. This saturday you're taking my night time shift, there's a big concert I wanna go to. And you gotta wax my car, it's gettin' nasty. And you better write the best damn apology note in the history of apology notes, sweetie. This is huge, you better come clean to him eventually, or I'll kick your little butt you hear me?"

"Yes. Absolutely, fine, deal. Just please, please keep him busy, I'm not ready to tell him," you whined, clutching the door. Frankly it sounded like a piss poor plan, but it couldn't be helped, not right now at least. You didn't have the strength to confront the situation head on, you were barely keeping it together. You wanted to cry all over, jump into his arms and come clean now, but this was neither the time or place.

As soon as Iona went to go over to Paul you stuffed the tests into your purse and bolted out the back door, only this time stealth was not on your side. Right at the mouth of the alleyway, just as you were about to be home free- you ran smack dab into a particularly lithe blonde that felt like a brick wall. You went flying onto the ground, your purse crashing onto concrete with a hundred pieces of your privacy going every direction. In a panic you began to rapidly stuff it all back, barely able to hide the first two tests as you threw some half baked apology Marko's way. Honestly he deserved a better one than that, but you were too frazzled to be fair at the moment.

"Oh shit, Y/N," Marko exclaimed, immediately kneeling down to help you gather the scattered remains of your purse. "Sorry, I didn't even see you, I was coming back for a smoke. Big Ed is such a douche, can you believe theres no smoking on the-..." His words trailed off, and you shortly saw why. Grasped between his pointer finger and thumb was the little pink strip, and a look of complete disbelief. All you could do was snatch it from him, a heavy moment of silence magically muffling the wild noise and shouts of the busy boardwalk. 

"Do...D-Don't worry about it. Look, I gotta get home, I'll see you arou-," you started, trying to jump up, maybe catch him off guard and make a run for it. Not this time. 

You hadn't even noticed he grabbed your wrist, it was such a blur. He stayed silent, standing up and looking right into your eyes with hidden malcontent. You swore if you answered wrong this mischievous cat would tear your throat out. After all, you were his best friend's girl. If you did anything, ANYTHING, to hurt him... Well, let's just say a pregnancy would be the least of your worries. "Why are you running, Y/N? What the hell is this thing," he asked quietly, eyes flickering between red and blue. "Did you…?"

"Oh don't fuckin' even," You snapped, smacking his arm, yanking your hand out of his grasp. "Of course not! You butt! God, are you serious? What do you take me for- No! I- fuck I just- no!" You kick the tin trash can beside you, watching a plethora of trash fly into the air. "I am freaking out! Of course it's Paul's. Oh fucking god, it's Paul's and I don't know what to do!"

Marko's expression softened, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I didn't mean to make it sound like that, Y/N. Paul's my friend, I just had to be sure you weren't sneaking around, you know?"

You sighed, pushing back your mess of a hair with misty eyes. This was perfect, a real big screw up from start to finish. All you could do was look over at Marko with pleading eyes. "You can't tell him yet. Please, just please please PLEASE, Marko, don't tell Paul yet!"

"Tell me what, babe?"

Shit. Shit on a stick. You looked behind to see Paul halfway out the back door with a look of concern, one that he rarely carried. You and your dumb mouth, go figure.

The blonde pushed through and let the door close behind him, looking over at his best bud standing alone with his girlfriend who was begging him to keep something secret, from him no less.

 "Marko?"

"Nah, nah, don't look at me man, this is all on you guys," he sighed, hands up in a shielding motion. "Good luck buddy. Gotta go, Y/N." with that the young vampire excused himself from this melting pot of drama, hands stuffed in his pockets. 

You just stood there, keeping the little strip tightly grasped behind your back. Paul was silent, but glancing at his hands you saw they were balled so tight his knuckles were white. "P-paul…," you hesitated, biting down on your bottom lip. "I should really… get home.."

Paul only raised a brow, glancing at your arms still tucked behind you. This wasn't like you to hide from him, and that alone frightened him. Nothing had ever frightened him before. And he didn't like the taste of it one bit. "What's behind your back, babe?"

"What?"

Again his spoke, this time his voice lowered into a low growl. "What... do you have... behind your back, babe?" The way he said it was so firm, it made you shake a little. You didn't like stern Paul. They way he hissed the word "babe", practically spoken through clenched teeth

Your throat ached, eyes darting across the ground struggling to think up a good excuse. Anything. A book, your purse, a surprise for him! Anything!

"N-nothing." Apparently, you failed to find any excuses. Great.

Paul's knuckles began to crack, jumping forward to try and snatch it from behind you. When you dodged him, he grew even more furious. You both began to struggle, pushing him away, insisting he just stop and let you leave. But every attempt to reject him only upset him further. Why were you hiding things from him?! How could you just ditch him at the record store when he was worried sick about you??

The struggle built up until finally he had enough. His eyes turned white with rings of fire, brow looming heavily over his eyes and fangs jutting out where his incisors once were. In a flash he grabbed you by you wrists, pinning you so hard to the wall it shook. You still tried to struggle. Thrash, kick, squirm! Steel wished it could be so strong, your muscles ached. This probably wasn't even his full strength, but it dwarfed you in comparison. This terrifying side of Paul you had certainly seen before, but never had you been on the receiving end. It was in all sense of the word, predatorial. He'd never try to kill you, but you still felt that horror build up inside. Rapid, sharp breaths made your chest heave, too afraid to look up at those red eyes still fixated on whatever you kept hidden from him. He continued to pry your stubborn fingers open, ignoring your shaking whimpers. He squoze your wrist, the tendons aching and contracting until your fingertips began to lift up. Any resistance was pretty much useless at this point, but dammit you still tried everything to worm out of his grip. But he had finally had it, you weren't gonna be keeping secrets from him. Now your last finger was pushed off, and he could see what was so damn important that you physically fought him to keep it secret. It was almost slow motion the way the strip spun to the ground, clattering down and landing beside his mud caked boots. He froze, slowly looking down at it. That's it? That's all you-...

You could barely read his face, so many different emotions flashing across it all at once. Occasionally he'd look back up at you, then back down at it. To the point you almost got annoyed that you were still being stuck to a wall while the reality set in. After all, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know what that was, just put you down already!

Paul looked at you still pinned beneath him, horrified at how he lost his temper and immediately released you. Still rubbing away the pain across your wrists, you watched him pick it up. A wave of guilt swarmed your body, you didn't know whether to hug him or punt him in the chest.

Hell, a massive tidal wave of guilt overflowed him too. It'd been such a long time since he got that angry.. but worst of all he'd never been like that with you. Never grabbed you so forcefully and ignored your pleas, it was a dark side of him he never wanted to display in front of you. Glancing at the little pink plus at the end of the stick, his mind swirled with a plethora of questions. But slowly he stood up, looking down at you still really trying to process everything that had happened in the past few minutes. "I don't… I don't understand.."

"You- You are such an ass," you shouted out of nowhere, enough that it made him jump. There you were. That's the fiery girl he knew, not the one he exactly wanted to be on the opposing side of at the moment, though.

Paul wasn't surprised you were pissed, but he definitely didn't expect you to start punching his arm. Again. Then again, and again you just kept hiting his arms, his chest, pushing and crying, you were so mad you wanted to chuck him in the ocean! It didn't really hurt that much, but he felt awful he drove you to that point.

Tears blurred your vision as you lashed out on him. All you could do was yell names between sobs, even whack him with your purse. "Paul, you absolute jerk! Butt! Jackass! You smarmy, half wit, blood-sucking tool! You said you were packing blanks, you absolute liar! I was gonna tell yo-! I mean, I know I shouldn't have run-! But you just couldn't wait- and then Marko- and you! You ! Jerk ! Butthead !"

"Hey, ow! Ow! Ow, dammit! I know, I know I went to far-ow not the hair dammit," he demanded, grabbing your arms before you could lay another mighty blow. "Babe! Babe, stop! I thought I was! I swear I didn't know- I-..I never thought that I could get you...." His hands slowly released your shoulders, moving to your hips. "I'm so sorry, baby. I swear, I didn't know.. I'm so sorry."

The way his voice softened only made you want to cry more. This whole day was a mess. You didn't mean to try and run.. You never should've tried to in the first place. God, you were so tired. All this running around, all this secrecy, the fighting, it was exhausting. Paul was the last person you wanted to fight. Sure you had spats and a few heated arguments. Every couple did, even vampires. But this, it was just so.m draining. With a firm thud you plopped your forehead on his sternum, your fingers tightly clinging to the upper sleeves of his jacket. "Wh-what am I supposed to do-… what are we supposed to do now..?"

Paul pondered his options with a solemn face, but there was only one that made him happy. Only one that sat right in his heart. What else could he possibly do, there was only ever going to be one answer even if you told him right away. Most of all, he couldn't stand the sorrow in your eyes. A frown never suited such a beautiful face. He never expected there to be anything to come from your heavy sexcapades, it never seemed like there was any risks in it. He'd never seen a vampire munchkin, least of all he'd never even heard of a vamp conceiving with a human. All he knew now is you, crying in his arms, terrified of what you were carrying. What it could mean. In that moment, he steeled his resolve and came to a final decision.

Silently he tilted your chin up, using his thumb to brush away all those tears staining your cheeks. Those blue eyes, you could get lost in them. Swallowed up by the sea. It wasn't hard to read his mind when he held onto your hip with one hand, while the other that pushed away salty droplets now cupped your cheek. Within moments you crashed your mouth into his, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

Warm. A surge of heat filled your body. It was the first time you felt truly alive all day. You could feel your chest heave against his, you didn't want any space between the two of you and only pressed tighter until there wasn't anything left. Each kiss gave momentary breath before you dove in for more. Neither of you could stop. You didn't want to pull away, not even for a split second. The way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way he touched you, the way he felt beneath your fingers; it made your head spin. His hands began to wander, you clutched at anything you could get a hold of. Your body burned, so sweet and long. In those moments the world stopped, it just melted away in streams of light. No one was there but you two. 

It was over too soon, both of you rapidly panting for breath still intertwined. Oh, how you could stare into his eyes forever.

That frown was long gone, replaced by a tender smile. The one he had come to cherish. Paul chuckled softly, breathlessly nuzzling against your collar bone. Slowly he leaned in close to your ear, his disheveled blonde hair brushing up against your cheeks. Lips trailed up flesh, reavhing just beneath your ear. And then you heard those three forbidden words. Such sweet, tender words, you hadn't expected him to say. Although he whispered them so softly they might have gotten lost in the wind, to you they were as clear as the moon on a cloudless night.

"Y/N.... I love you."

It made your heart throb, you thought you might even faint. A lifetime of struggles led up to this beautiful moment. You never expected it to be a half-undressed heavy make out session with your vampire lover, the father of your unborn spawn, in the back alley of a record store on the Santa Carla Boardwalk. But here you were, nestled between him and an old brick wall. Paul loved you, he had said it, he finally said those words that could destroy any doubt you had. And more than anything in the whole wide world, you knew once and for all, you loved Paul.

[idgivemyeyesfor-mattmurdock]

MY THOUGHTS ON OOUIL 4,5 AND 6

So! last week I went pretty ham on the show, there were lots of things that drove me crazy that I did mention do prepare for me to be let's just call it "expressive"

ps; only writing about the stuff I don't like, they;; be a separate one for stuff I do!

styling:

Nates outfit don't represents his character, tbh he reminds me more of cooper from the book then actual nate. plus his hair annoys me man, like nate would comb it, our nate would comb it. AND like why was he actually wearing a suit? manz WOULDVE worn a buttoned down dress shirt and dress pants, with a spice of hightop converse.

Addy; they legit changed so many things from the book to the show they couldn't give Addy a half-decent haircut, I get it they were working with wigs and all but still man like I was picturing a ladybird sorta thing, but I guess the hairstylist doesn't want to get another job.

Bronwyns styling is good until I have to see her in overalls again, tbh I would figure her to be so busy that she wouldn't care about what she's wearing, like why couldn't the stylist put her in like hoodies n' stuff. Plus i will say this again, Brownwyn looks better with glasses.

Venessa's outfits make me cringe so hard because nobody would dress like that, I get it they were trying to be like in... but put her in some y2k styled outfit. her outfits make her look ten years older then what she actually is. if you told me Vanessa was an undercover cop, i'd believe you.

PUT A FAJA on like every girl in the background or some underwear that doesn't show in her dress, bc man I'm starting at a Victoria secrets ad every time some girl walks by.

Set design;

everything is way to modern, less original. people wont remember this because you mdidn'take it memorable.

why isn't that nate and coopers house are the best looking ones and everyone else's makes me wanna barf?

the high school looks like a community college.

giving addy an android was one of the biggest mistakes.

cinematography;

the filter reminds me of 2016 intagram

the lighting makes bronwyns skin look dry

ya'll are trying to be too much with the In crowd, bruh just do what you do best and GET RID OF THE FILTER AND CRINGY ANGELS

Dialog;

I will dedicate one of my Sundays to rewriting the dialog in some scenes because I believe my ears wanted me to cover them.

it's way to much like '

YoUr tHE bEsT ThiNG tHAts HapPenD tO me"

and not like

"thanks" Bronwyn looks at Nate sincerely with tears in her eyes.

which is what GENZ would do bc we can't form sentences to actual human beings if we even tried.

plus i think there should be more pop-culture references.

Things that just annoyed me;

Meave and Jenea really pissed me off.

the chemistry w Nate and Brownyn, idk maybe its more of the tension.

they fact that they chose 100 year old actos to play teenagers.

I really don't like Kris and Cooper, like it makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like what the writers are trying to do with them should've been consulted with the actors or just like, i know its show business but you shouldn't be that disrespctufl to them. poor Coop looks like he hates Kris. i hope they break up in the show bc it's really toxic.

stop trying to make shows kids these days will like, make shows that kids from yesterday, today and tomorrow will enjoy. I get annoyed everytime i watch gilmore girls yet is till watch it, when I'm watching this I'm really thinking 'what the heck is going on'

note to the actors.

Nate; plz watch season 2 of gilmore girls and worship jess

Brownwyn; you have to work on your body language bc it looks forced.

Addy; stop trying to hard, and learn how to deliver a scene. you have potential. read revenge of the sith to understand character.

[pedropascallovebot]

nsfw alphabet - javier peña

summary: a brief delve into javier’s sex life because... it was necessary.

a/n: one day i’ll format my work right. that day is not today. enjoy the poorly edited smut that took me two weeks to write. i love you all thank you for reading and supporting my stuff :’-)

-

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

While Javier isn’t against a nice bath and a warm cup of coffee together as you both calm down, you both like talking about your days as a form of aftercare. He’s constantly on the move at his job- never getting to sit and relax, so when you both snap out of the heat of the moment after finishing, it’s nice to sit back and take a drink and lay in his arms, letting your breath even out as he rubs your shoulders and tells you about some asshole who pissed him off that day.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Javier loves your neck- maybe it’s the way it tilts to allow him access whenever his lips goes anywhere near it. He loves kissing it, nuzzling his face in the crook of it, and whenever either of you are feeling a bit stressed out, he likes wrapping his hand around it. Not squeezing too roughly, just having it serve as a reminder that he’s in charge.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He can’t get enough of cumming inside of you, but sometimes when he’s on the brink of it, he pulls out and lets go all over your chest. When he feels particularly bold, he smears some of his cum on your parted lips with two fingers, and lets you suck on them while he mutters how good you look with his orgasm splattered all over you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This goes hand in hand with the last one. Javier would probably never admit this one to you, but he wants so desperately to slide himself in-between your tits and get himself off like that, with you underneath of him with your own fingers on your clit- he just wants to feel the silky skin gliding against him, but he’s not sure he could give up feeling how wet you get for him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s pretty experienced, yeah. Though, he’s not ashamed to admit you’re his favorite out of all of the others. Said experience on his end works out for you when he’s so deep in you, hitting all the right spots.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Javier loves you on his lap, so it’s no surprise when his favorite way to have you there is your back to his chest, bouncing you up and down and grabbing at your tits and squeezing, making you moan and throw your head back on his shoulder. Sometimes he’ll pin your hands in front of you, and hit you with a particularly deep thrust, just to feel you squirm on top of him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He can barely do goofy in his work and social life. He’s just.. tense. All the time. But sometimes in moments, his humor shines through. Just not in his sex life. Except the one time he pushes you off the bed and laughs, and you throw a pillow at him and pout until he apologizes and makes you cum.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I can’t headcanon this when I have the real thing ;-)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

There’s not so much affection during the actual act, but before and after, Javier is all over you, telling you how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

It’s not that he doesn’t, he just doesn’t prefer to. He’d always been sleeping around before you, visiting bars and finding girls who were interested in him enough to keep him company for the night. When he met you, and put all of that aside, it became clear that you were both busy and sometimes you couldn’t see each other, and he’d have to make do with taking care of his business himself sometimes.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves when you strip down in front of him, and he can sit back and watch you. When you take it slow just to tease him, it’s the highlight of his day to sit and relax while you get undressed for him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom is standard, it’s convenient. Javier isn’t ashamed to admit that you two have got it on in random bathrooms and behind clubs, but there’s something safe and secure about the bed or the couch that make it okay for you two to moan as loud as you want.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

After a long day of dealing with drug lords, Javier is frustrated. He feels so powerless, so coming home and knowing it’s you and him makes him feel a bit more in control. He knows it’s weird, but sometimes he doesn’t mind the bad days, because they rile him up to the point where he knows he’s gonna get a better release when you two go at it that night.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Though you’ve suggested it before, he hates the idea of threesomes. He can’t stand the idea of sharing with others. He’s too focused on how he feels and how you feel to worry about another person in the picture.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s a stressed out cop in the 1980’s and he’ll be damned if he didn’t enjoy getting a blowjob from a pretty girl. And you’re really good at it, can you blame him? Though, he’s also good at going down on you. And God, he enjoys it. After he fucks you, he’ll lean down and eat you out so you’re cumming again in his mouth, and he can’t get enough of the way your legs tighten around his head.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on the day he’s had, but he loves being rough with you, only slowing down after you’ve cum and he knows it’ll only take a few more strokes to get him to his own orgasm.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

We’re talking about the actual king of quickies, here. This man will ask to fuck when he’s gotta be at work at 7 and it’s 6:49. While it’s not preferred, it’s definitely not something he hates.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As previously stated, this man is fucking when he’s got five minutes until work: he’s definitely taking some risks. One of his most favorite memories is him being on break and the two of you fucking in his car in a back alley, you partly terrified someone might see you, and him partly terrified he was gonna get his car robbed by thieves who thought no one was in there.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As much as he wishes he can keep going, Javier is TIRED. He does, however, like to get couple more orgasms out of you with his mouth or fingers before you two retire for the night. Maybe one day he’ll get a boost of stamina and keep going after he’s finished, but for now, you both are pretty satisfied with the way things are.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You hadn’t necessarily kept your vibrator hidden from him- it was in your nightstand the entire time, free for him to see. But you were scared he was gonna think he wasn’t doing a good enough job, when that couldn’t of been further from the truth and you just used it when he couldn’t be there when you wanted him to be. But boy, when he found it, this man went ham, and you certainly were not complaining about the fun you two had with it. It doesn’t come out often, but when it does, you know it’s gonna be a great night.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The question is, how much you like to tease. Javier thought he knew how to drag things on, but when you’re palming him under tables and giving him blowjobs in restrooms without letting him finish, this man knew it was over for him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not necessarily a loud guy. He grunts, moans your name, but he’s lowkey and he doesn’t feel the need for any extra noise.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You and him once tried to spice things up by adding chocolate syrup to the mix one night, and lets just say it maybe wasn’t the best idea. It was hot at first, and then you realized how sticky it was, and not in the good way. All in all, you crossed it off the list of fun things to try, but decided that mixing chocolate and sexy time just.... it isn’t for you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

This man is so bent on not admitting he’s a good size, even though you tell him every single night he feels so good and you’ve never once felt unsatisfied. You love the way be feels inside you, and you love the way he looks when he’s taking off his shirt, too.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Sex isn’t all he thinks about. Sometimes he worries about his job, or what he’s gonna drink tonight. But he’s always down when you are. He’s usually the one to initiate it, granted, but he definitely isn’t needing it three times a day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s surprisingly great at staying up and talking with you. Javier likes holding you afterwards, usually falling asleep after a while. If anything, you’re usually the one snoozing first.

[nommy-thoughts]

Danger Noodles Chapter 5 Dinner Guests (Vore Timeline)

Wordcount: 2.8 K

Summary: Patton invited his new friends over for dinner! Dee-Dee doesn’t approve.

Note: This chapter belongs to the vore timeline. Most of the chapter (the first 2.5 K words) is the same in both timelines, but after the line “Wanna sleep with Remus and me instead?” the timelines diverge for the remainder of the story. (no vore version)

Cowritten with @that-prey-lounge​!

[Danger Noodles Masterpost]

~~~~~

Patton hummed happily to himself, checking on the meat one more time. It was coming along nicely, just as it had been all the other times he’d looked at it.

Dee-Dee, coiled loosely around Patton’s neck and draped over his shoulders like a scarf, tasted the air. “It smells really good, Patton,” he said.

“You think so?” Patton asked, still concerned. The little naga tugged on his earlobe in fond exasperation.

“Yes, Patton. You’re a good cook.”

“Thanks. I just— I wanna make a good impression, you know?”

Dee-Dee frowned. “I thought you said they were your friends?” he said. “Don’t they already like you?”

“Yes, but this is the first time they’ve really had anybody cook for them, and the first time they’ve come over instead of us visiting them.” Patton had roasted meat over the fire for them with Virgil’s help the other times they’d visited, but that had been the extent of it. “I want to make sure they enjoy themselves.”

Dee-Dee quietly nuzzled against Patton’s cheek. “I just don’t like Logan and Virgil not being here with you.”

“You know as much as I do that Logan didn’t want to work the late shift, but nobody could cover for him.” Patton would have shrugged, but he had to be careful not to shift his shoulders too much. “They’ll be home after dinner.”

Dee-Dee didn’t voice his concerns on Patton being eaten, as the humans had been out with the nagas several times already, always coming home safely. Instead, Dee-Dee just laid back down on Patton’s shoulders, sighing quietly.

Hopefully everything went okay.

Several minutes ticked by, and then someone knocked on the door. “That might be the twins!” Patton wiped his hands on his pants. Dee-Dee clung tightly to Patton’s shirt while he went to the door.

When Patton opened the door, Dee-Dee’s throat went dry. They were enormous. Dee-Dee had gradually gotten used to their scent, as every time his humans visited the giant nagas, they came back covered with it, so at least the mere smell of them didn’t throw him into a panic, but they were still just so big! Twin red and green nagas smiled, slipping in through the door one after the other. They barely fit through the doorway, and had to wriggle awkwardly to squeeze themselves into the house. Once they were inside, they took up most of the living room, and their tails tangled together as they got settled.

Patton had mentioned once that the giant nagas didn’t seem to have any clothes, but apparently they had decided to dress up for the occasion. Each naga wore a cloth sash running diagonally across his chest, similar in color to their scales, though the green one was somewhat frayed. The red naga wore a belt made of white, intricately knotted rope around his waist, while the green naga had several leather belts where his human-like torso connected to his tail, with bones sewn decoratively onto them.

“You two look really nice.” Patton shut the door after their tails were completely clear, following the giant nagas into the living room. “You didn’t have to dress up.”

“We wanted to.” The red naga put a hand jauntily on his hip. “It’s the first time in a long time that we’ve been out of the woods.”

Dee-Dee softly cleared his throat.

Patton perked up a bit. “Oh, yeah. Dee-Dee, these are my friends, Roman,” He gestured to the red naga, “And his twin brother, Remus.” The green naga smirked, showing off huge teeth. “And this is Dee-Dee,” Patton finished, gently lifting Dee-Dee’s torso with his hand. The little naga clung to Patton’s fingers, staring up at the giant nagas with wide eyes.

They leaned in closer, murmuring their greetings, eyes wide at seeing something so small.

“Oh, he is tiny!” Roman cooed adoringly. He started to reach for the much smaller naga, but Dee-Dee hissed nervously at him, and Roman pulled his finger away again. “Feisty little thing, isn’t he?”

Patton giggled, running a finger down Dee-Dee’s spine. “Yes,” he said. “He’s very protective of me, too.”

“Glad someone is taking care of our little Patton.” Remus softly patted Patton on his head.

Dee-Dee hissed again. “My Patton!” he corrected. “I’m his favorite noodle! He said!”

“I like him.” Remus pulled his hand back. “We’ve got competition, Roman.”

“I’ll enjoy the challenge.” Roman stuck his tongue out briefly. “Mmm. What smells so good?”

Patton beamed. “I made ham!”

“Sounds wonderful, Patton,” Roman said. “What’s ham?”

“It’s the back leg of a pig, but I guess none of you have ever had pig meat before.”

“I have,” Dee-Dee interjected. “I like pork sausages.”

“Yes, I know you do,” Patton said soothingly. He looked up at the giant nagas again. “Have you two had pig before?”

“Can’t say we have.” Roman rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s only so far we can go to hunt in our neck of the woods.”

Patton glanced back at the kitchen. “I should go back in there and make sure nothing’s burning,” he said, uncoiling Dee from around his shoulders. He set the small naga on the end table beside the couch. “Play nice, boys. I’ll be back soon.”

Dee-Dee watched sadly as Patton vanished through the doorway into the kitchen, then looked slowly up at the giant nagas. They gazed back with eyes bigger than Dee-Dee’s entire body. Fear ran down the length of his spine and he was suddenly, violently aware that it wasn’t just his Patton who was in danger. He nervously started to coil himself into a ball.

Remus was the first to break the silence. “D’aaaawww, Roman.” He lowered himself a fair bit to get a better look. “Look at the widdle snakey. He’s adorable!”

Roman nodded, grinning. “I can see why Patton is so attached to him. Cute little thing.”

Dee-Dee swallowed nervously, then raised himself up a little. “I— I’m still a good hunter! I can catch my weight in mice in a day.”

“That so?” Roman asked. “I’m surprised you’re not fatter, then.”

Dee-Dee sank down slightly. “W-well, I ate all the mice, and they’re gone now.”

“I love rats.” Remus licked his lips. “The other day I found a nest in the base of a tree. Tore it open, too. Most of the pups were nearly full grown, so I had a nice handful of the little squeakers.”

Dee-Dee decided it might be best to not speak, instead trying to make himself look less like a mouthful. The giant brothers fell awkwardly silent as well.

Remus was prodding curiously at the furniture, murmuring to himself, when Patton came back a few minutes later, setting a large, heavy tray on the dinner table. “Food’s ready!”

All three nagas perked up. Noting Dee-Dee’s nervous body language, Patton picked the little naga up and draped him around his shoulders again. Dee-Dee settled into place. Tugging on Patton’s ear, he said softly, “I don’t wanna be down. Don’t put me back down.”

“Oh, okay.” Patton carefully stroked his head. “I won’t.”

Patton had already boxed up two plates for the other members of the household for when they got home, knowing that otherwise there probably wouldn’t be any leftovers. He hummed quietly while he served himself a plate, grabbing a slightly larger slice of ham he could share with Dee-Dee.

Once Patton was sitting calmly at the table, he gestured for the twins to get whatever they liked.

The two were extremely hesitant as they slithered closer. Almost none of the food was familiar to them, but they didn’t want to seem rude or ungrateful, especially after all the effort Patton had obviously put into making the meal.

“Everything looks great, Patton,” Roman said diplomatically. “What is it all?”

Patton had been cutting up the ham on his plate, but he paused. “Oh. Geez, I forgot. You’ve both been living off whatever you can hunt in the forest all your lives. You wouldn’t know what all this is.”

He stood up, Dee-Dee tightening his grip ever so slightly for stability. “C’mon kiddos. Lemme tell you what I made.” Patton pointed to the large pile of steaming pink meat. “This is the ham, the main course. Like I mentioned, it’s pig meat, and it’s also got an assortment of special spices. Then here, these are mashed potatoes. You can eat some plant matter, right?”

Remus shrugged. “Yeah, a bit, but it doesn’t taste as good as meat.”

Patton nodded. “Hopefully you’ll like the potatoes anyway!” he said cheerfully. “I have a pretty good recipe, if I dare say so myself.” Moving down the table, he continued, “This is bread. I’d usually make smaller rolls for this kinda meal, but you’re kinda a lot bigger than the people I usually have over, so,” he laughed, “I made full-sized loaves instead.” Finally, he lifted the smaller pot at the end. “This is gravy. It’s like a thick meat juice, and you pour it over your ham or potatoes.”

Roman licked his lips. “It looks delicious, Patton,” he assured the human. “Is all that for us?”

Patton nodded. “I know you two have big appetites. I already put aside enough for the rest of us.” He went back to his chair and sat down again. “Sorry I don’t have plates big enough for you,” he said with a chuckle. “Or silverware. But I got some serving platters out, maybe you can use those?”

The two brothers eyed the food, deciding what to try first, then took the plates that Patton had set aside for them and piled them high. Remus piled his plate so full of meat that he didn’t have room for any bread, so he just put the loaf directly in his mouth as he settled at the table. Roman managed to fit a bit of everything on his plate, but he held an extra bread roll delicately between his front teeth.

Patton set aside a small portion of ham for Dee-Dee, who slowly unwound himself from around Patton’s neck and slithered down his arm. Still keeping his tail looped possessively around Patton’s wrist, Dee-Dee picked up a chunk of ham and nibbled on it.

The twins glanced between Patton and each other, then, after a second, dug into the plates they had prepared.

They didn’t mind getting messy while eating, but tried to contain the mess to their face and hands instead of everywhere else.

Dee-Dee was slightly disgusted as he settled closer to Patton. He always did his best to have manners while he ate around his humans, but these two were acting like savages. However, Patton didn’t seem that upset, so Dee-Dee let it slide.

“Enjoying your food, kiddo?” Patton broke the relative silence.

Dee-Dee swallowed the chunk of ham quickly and nodded. “Mhm! It’s delicious! I’m just… a little distracted by our guests.”

Patton offered the micro naga another piece of ham, but dipped in gravy. Dee-Dee happily took it and started to eat, inching closer to Patton’s plate.

After a few more minutes, Patton glanced up at the giant nagas, who were occupied with eating. Remus had gravy on his face where he’d torn into one of the full hams. Roman was thoughtfully chewing his bread.

“Enjoying everything, kiddos?”

Patton got two enthusiastic nods in return for his question.

Remus licked his fingers. “I really enjoy this pig stuff. Makes me wish we could hunt them.”

“I guess if you lived close enough you could hunt down pigs on a farm, you could, but you both live so far away.” Patton absently twirled his fork. “How was the walk— er, slither down?”

Roman shrugged, swallowing his bread. “A few people ran off if they saw us, but we kept away from roads and away from people until we got here.”

Patton nodded. “Don’t want to cause a panic.”

“Or wind up on the six o’ clock news.” Dee-Dee whispered to himself, taking a sip of water from his rainbow shot glass.

The rest of the meal went smoothly. As Patton had figured, the two giant nagas ate everything else he had prepared, and looked like they still had room for more, though they were polite and didn’t mention it.

Dee-Dee finally relaxed enough to let go of Patton while he collected the empty dishes from the table. He curled up slightly, content with the meal weighing down both his tiny stomachs.

Roman stretched his spine, arms above his head. His loosely folded fists bumped the ceiling, and he looked up, surprise briefly crossing his face before he adjusted, finding a different position so he could stretch without breaking anything. “That was very delicious, Patton,” he complimented.

“Yeah!” Remus agreed. He ruffled Patton’s hair with a single finger. “You’re good at making food. Even the plants tasted good!”

Patton grinned. “I’m glad you thought so.” He got up, carrying the empty dishes back into the kitchen. Dee-Dee remained on the table for the moment, so he had a perfect view of the brothers as they shifted, twisting around each other again and settling down comfortably. With a start, he realized that they didn’t seem to be planning on moving again for quite a while. Remus lay on his back on their coils, and Roman lay on his front, facing in the general direction of the kitchen but with an expression that suggested he wasn’t really seeing much of what was in front of him.

A few minutes later, Patton returned and scooped Dee up. His hands were warm, suggesting that he’d been doing the washing up. “Aww, is everyone sleepy?” he asked.

“Hm?” Roman mumbled. His gaze sharpened slightly, but not much. “Oh.” He yawned. “Yeah.” Remus yawned as well, only shifting slightly to settle further into the nest of coils. Dee-Dee frowned. He had enough experience with post-meal drowsiness to know that they would have trouble getting the brothers to budge before morning. He himself was feeling like settling down for the night, but that was countered somewhat by his concern about the two gigantic nagas now taking up the entire living room, coils strewn about the furniture and pressing against the walls.

“Are you gonna fall asleep?” Patton asked, walking up closer. Dee-Dee squirmed a bit in Patton’s hands, uncomfortable with his favorite human putting himself within easy grabbing reach.

Roman pushed himself up a fraction, then flopped down on the nest of tails again. “Mm.”

“Well, okay,” Patton said, much to Dee-Dee’s dismay. “You’re blocking off my bedroom door, though.”

Roman glanced around the room, seeming to notice the other doors leading off it for the first time. “Sorry,” he said. “Wanna sleep with Remus and me instead?”

Remus finally stirred, but he said the exact thing Dee-Dee least wanted to hear. “Wanna sleep in me?”

“No!” Dee-Dee exclaimed.

“You don’t have to, then,” Roman said, reaching for Patton. Dee-Dee hissed warningly, but the giant naga ignored him, wrapping his hand around Patton’s waist and picking him up. Turning, he passed Patton over to Remus, who’d sat up as well.

“No!” Dee-Dee said again, distressed. Patton wasn’t even squirming!

“It’s okay, Dee-Dee,” Patton assured him, running his hand gently down Dee-Dee’s back in a futile attempt to soothe him. Gently, he pried Dee-Dee’s hands away from his fingers, then unwound his tail from around his arm. Dee-Dee kept trying to grab back on, but Patton soon managed to completely detach him. “His tank is over there,” Patton said, holding Dee-Dee out toward Roman. “Can you put him in?”

“Of course,” Roman said. If Dee-Dee wasn’t so worried about Patton’s safety, he would have been impressed by how gently the huge naga took him in fingers thicker than Dee-Dee’s entire body.

“Patton!” Dee-Dee whined loudly as he saw his favourite human be lifted towards the unhinged jaws of a hungry predator. “Let him go, you brutes!”

Remus slid Patton feet first into his mouth, and a moment later, he was gone. Patton simply vanished down that gaping throat, little more than a lump. Remus’s belly above his tail gently bulged out and he sighed happily, hands grasping the flesh.

“No!” Dee-Dee cried again. Desperate, he bit Roman’s finger, sinking his fangs through the thick flesh. He hadn’t had any reason to use his venom recently, so his sacs were full. He emptied them.

“Youch!” Roman released Dee-Dee immediately, and the micro naga fell into the mess of coils below. He heard a swear from above, and then Roman ordering, “Don’t move. Remus, don’t move a single muscle, if we— he’s so small— if we hurt him, can you imagine how Patton would react? He’d be heartbroken.”

Dee-Dee struggled across the thick coils, trying to head towards where his human was stuffed inside a predator. Distantly, he heard a door open.

Oh no.

~~~~~

Chapter 6: Panic in the Living Room

[chaoticgabby]

My Cheap & Relatively Healthy Grocery List for College Students

Context: I had been used to eating fast food so much because it was cheap that when I went to the doctors' they said I had high glucose content. That wasnt good. So I started eating healthier. Anyway let's skip the BS and get straight into it:

Ramen: the OG cheap food. I personally don't own ramen bc I dont like it that much, but if you want to save money this is the meal, at least add an egg or some veggies to make it healthier.

Frozen Veggies: anywhere from 50 cents to a dollar or two a bag. Can easily be kept in your freezer (if you have one) for months

Mac n' cheese: my all-time favorite. Of course, it might not be healthy for everyone to eat pasta all the time, but I do it anyway. Add some real cheese and spices for taste or chicken and veggies in it / on the side.

Other Pasta boxes (Pasta Roni, Velveeta, Hamburger Helper, etc.): basically as cheap or almost as cheap as Kraft macaroni, but maybe you arent a fan of mac n cheese.

Soup (Soup!!): Cambell's Tomato soup is often $1 a can. I like to eat mine with grilled cheese. Thats a whole ass meal. But of course you can get other soups just as cheap. Basically, any canned foods.

Canned foods & veggies: this one goes without saying. Although, the better options are sometimes $2 to $3 the same can be said for frozen veggies, but just heat these up and cook them in fried rice or just add butter and eat them aside a nice entré

Chunk light tuna: speaking of canned foods, canned tuna is soooo cheap and is a great option (if you even like tuna). Dont actually get the "pack tuna" for $1 a pack unless you want to keep it in your bag bc canned tuna is around 60 cents a can. Mix it with Miracle Whip (or mayo) and spread it over break for a good sammich.

Grilled cheese (or cheese toastie if you arent American I think??): similar to previous options, youre getting your cheese and your butter and your bread. Not as healthy as other options but way better than fast food calories.

Quesadillas: similar to grilled cheese, except spICY. My brother only eats these and he has no meal plan. I do it now too. Honestly, adding up tortillas, cheese dip, shredded cheese, & chicken is kind of costly but worth it. Also cooking chicken is annoying bc I dont have time for that. But. Yknow. A great option.

Pillsbury Crescents: a little costly, about $2+ per tube, but still fookin delicious. Also imma be real: actually havent checked the nutrition label to see if these are actually healthy. But these are sO useful. Make them by themselves for breakfast (with jam, eggs, or alone) or use the dough for other recipes. I use these with Manwich sauce, cheese, and ground beef for snacks :)

Manwiches: manwich sauce cans are $1 and although they have some sugar, its not nearly as bad as fast food. Just cook up some ground beef to go with it & maybe add cheese, sliced bread, or hamburger buns

PB&J: Another OG. I could never get tired of these. You just gotta make sure you have soft bread and the pb&j and youre good to go. Although..like.. some people apparently like theirs toasted or with different jams (I like strawberry).

Eggs!!!! : Just keep these in your fridge. Just do it. You never know when youre going to run out of food. Boiled? Scrambled? Fried? Soft boiled? With ramen? Omelet? In fried rice? Egg sandwich??? Eat them with bread, eat them with toast, eat them as a breakfast sandwich, scramble them with cheese, the list goes on. If you dont eat them often, get a smaller carton, but always have eggs! Also, for baking.

Rice, or fried rice: If you like rice, have been cooking rice for a long time, and can actually make it without burning, make sure you have rice. If you like rice but have never actually made it yourself, it takes trial and error in a pot. Or just invest in a rice cooker. Additionally, fried rice is not that difficult to learn & it fits the bill for healthy bc you can add unlimited veggies and meats. Im not here to educated you but the more ingredients, the better, is how i see it.

Fresh Food:

Fruit: I literally have "an apple a day" for breakfast. It's just good for you. Keep them in your fridge to keep them fresh. Keep one in your bag in case you get hungry. Bananas? Awesome! Use them in smoothies or a milkshake or eat them with your cereal or even with peanut butter. Possibilities are endless with fruit. Just make sure they dont spoil. Apples are OG bc they dont spoil as easily.

Vegetables: Make sure to only periodically get them so that they dont go to waste. Make some broccoli with butter & eat it alongside pasta. Or asparagus. Anything you want. Just make sure to have some with your meals sometimes. Greens are good. Additionally, carrots can get addicting if yoh eat them with ranch. The plus side is they are filling. If you have a tendency to want to munch on something: carrots.

Deli Meat / Sandwich Options: I personally dont make deli sandwiches because ham (as well as roast beef or turkey) can be expensive and then wanting to add lettuce and tomato to a sandwich sounds amazing but I'm scared they will spoil. Dont let me stop you though! Sandwiches are amazing.

Meat: you dont want to be cooking meat all the time bc it can get expensive, but the basics I always get are ground beef and chicken. I prefer "boneless skinless chicken thigh fillets" but you would need to cut off the fat. You could always get rotisserie if you arent feeling to for cooking. Also, if you're feeling expensive one week, salmon is just sooo good. I ate it with asparagus and seasoned with lemon. Delicious.

Snack / Dessert Options:

(I personally don't keep snacks or dessert in my home very often bc you dont want to binge eat. But here is what I have)

Peanut butter: classic, filling, can be potentially bad if you eat a shite ton

Nuts: peanuts, almonds, cashews, and especially pecans

Cookies: make your own, a lot of simple cookie recipes exist and it's a lot easier than you think. Baking essentials like flour, sugar, milk, and eggs are not that expensive to keep around in an apartment kitchen. Difficulties may be vanilla extract (the avg student doesnt have this lying around) a baking sheet, a big bowl, and possible a whisk. Store bought cookie dough isnt too bad either.

Box-cakes / box-brownies: simple and easy. Takes a few eggs sometimes and some oil, milk or water. The same goes for pancake mix. Honestly, I had an out-of-country roommate and he had never heard of boxed cake mix or brownie mix. They always made from scratch where he lived.

Low-calorie ice cream: okay ice cream can be pretty expensive and filled w/ added sugars. I used to eat this strawberry icecream sweetened with stevia and it was SO delicious, but I couldnt find that at my grocery store. Other options are "low-calorie" ice cream or "no added sugars" ice cream. I have one of these and the thing abt it is that its just the right amount of sugar to taste like ice cream and the neat thing is that you dont feel like binging it bc it doesnt have addicting added sugars.

Milkshakes / smoothies: this is a tough one bc me and most other students dont own a blender or juicer. I personally get my smoothies from a local smoothie place that only uses fresh fruit and then I ask not to add the natural sugars bc it is sweet enough with the fruit. Natural smoothies are delicious & I find that you can kind of make then if u freeze your fruits and blend w a fork. "Handmade" milkshakes are actually super easy w this method.

Yogurt: just...mmm.

"Healthy" snack food section, often called the gluten-free aisle: im not too experienced with this and im sure they have added sugars too but what I do know is I tried these gluten free oreos once and they were delicious

Fruits: I mentioned earlier but apples are great snacks

Veggies: also like I said earlier, carrots are great snacks. Not exactly a veggie but possibly potatoes for a meal or snack.

Granola Bars: for when youre too lazy to keep up with fruit and if fruit will spoil, granola bars (they healthy kind, not the chewy sugary kind) are so good to have in your pantry or keep in your backpack for a snack (and to keep you from on campus temptations). Also I used Nature Valley ones instead of cereal. They actually dissolve and are delicious with milk, since some cereals are so sugary.

Since my last college tips post got some notes I figured I'd keep writing these advice posts. For reference, I am hoping to become an RA next year at my college, so I'm not just speaking out of my ass. I generally have experience at college thus far and want to help students.

[paperpeachy]

mimi!

🕷

How I feel about this character shes alright i guess

All the people I ship romantically with this character OH BOY. ok ok lesse. ⦁ nastasia a lot of it is just bc i adore the personality dynamics BUT!!!!! i rlly rlly love the substance of it all like... nassy is one of the only team bleck members mimi acts polite w and nassy herself doesn't pick on mimi.. at all rlly. she’s always excused from her inadequacies pfff but i also feel like theyr both v emotionally...weird ppl LOL? mimi has trouble empathising w nassy’s situation and nassy herself is emotionally constipated over the count actlly. mimi's tone deaf but it's that sincere want to distract nassy from stressing that nassy kind of indulges in..sorta selfishly? but it leads to somn more meaningful eventually.. mimi gets better at loosening her up and getting her to do fun things w herrr.. it's hard ! and mimi herself i imagine rlly looks up to nassy's management skills- esp since she prolly learned how to operate her sweatshop thru her and- in post-game, would go to her for advice abt her cafe and just *SPARKLE* at how much she knows her way around these things fdkjfkjskg MAYB IM PROJECTING but i think mimi is 1000% sapiosexual and that's why she's impatient w like 4/6ths of team bleck LOL ⦁ bombette a long while back i had this hc that during th void days, mimi skedaddled a lot and tried finding new ppl and places, and bombette was somn she managed to b friends w??? and then one day i was like hey what if mimi realised she liked girls thru bombette and then i was like hey.  hey. AND I SORTA WENT HAM BC.... ok i think mimi needs like...a normal person in her life. i think the best thing for her is to ~expand her horizons~ and som1 down to earth like bombette would rlly ease her into...society more u know? out of the surviving team bleck members, she’s def still most unorthodox, what w being a robot and the whole sweatshop thing in chp 2 and how shes STILL talking abt boy stables post game sdfkskk I JUST THINK SHE NEEDS SOM1 NORMAL IN HER LIFE and bombette herself is tired of bruce's shit and the idea of dating a former evil robot is exciting to her.. i think they both becom v impulsive ppl around each other in the best way !!! wow i rlly made a whole paragraph for this ok. ok. ⦁ goombella this is hilarious ive never even TALKED abt this pairing. but ive thought abt it. a few times and decided its rlly good. half-same reasons as bombette but w goombella it's a side of “omg ur so creepy ugh but.....(damn this chick is literally a product of a thousand yrs ago. i need to know more)” AND GOOMBELLA IS SUPER SMART AND MIMI is a sapiosexual remember. everything is coming together theyr perfect. mimi gets rlly flirty w her and uses her spooky form to fluster her and goombella just sasses the hell out of her and its v gay theyre both v interested in each other and theres just the right amnt of spice to this and its perfect. . i wanna draw them now UGH UGH

My non-romantic OTP for this character i talked abt this w doopliss! heres the linkk ! BUT I ALSO would like to take the time to talk abt her relationship w princess peach- who is def the most important chara to do w mimi in spm....i think the fact that they’re pitted against each other in chp 8 is perfffect, esp since peach has already been thru her chara dev the past few pm games, acting all immature and irresponsibly, and now facing someone who’s a LOT more dangerous in that department. and mimi specifically rags on peach- not bc she’s a girl, like she seems to start off w, but that she’s a princess. “i got beat...by a princess?” if that’s the part that’s rlly bothering her...then there’s a lot to unpack here, and i can see a lot of opening up the two could have w each other from this, which would b esp easy bc peach is the only one who got mimi to reconsider her beliefs in-game. i actlly do ship these two too but !! brotp is rlly good as welll i love their dynamic a lot...

My unpopular opinion about this character

i don't think shes...a v warm n welcoming person like the fandom makes her out to b. she actlly sits out on like, a lot of team bleck interactions- dimentio is never involved w her (no floro sprout treatment), and mimi doesn't like... offer herself for the count's life like o'chunks n nassy do. the only time she's involved in any grand sentimental act is when peach is pouring her heart out to her- and it takes peach showing some humanity for mimi to turn around. shes attached to team bleck ofc, she vaguely misses dimentio playing along w her shenanigans, and she rlly did respect the count.. but it was those interactions that like... scratched the surface. ig mostly it’s just that i don’t see her reacting to the count’s sacrifice and dimentio’s betrayal so deeply, she voices her disdain for dimentio p quick after his betrayal, and she moves on w her life fairly quickly. i think she’d rlly come to appreciate her time in the castle more AFTER she finds new ppl that help her understand what ‘home’ is.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. uhhh nothing shes perfect. actlly WAIT i wish they gave her a post game side mission where u can help build her cutie pie cafe and hire ppl and she gets to wear this cute waitress outfit and its like...this whole post game story and it end w all the charas partying and taking a picture in the cafe and its cute n nice. flint cragley is there too and he has squirps n luvbi on either shoulder. nintendy hire meee PLEASE

[whatshehassaid]

Favorite Things

I’m bored out of my mind at.... hell, I don’t even know what time it is. 

Food and Drink

Favorite Fast Food Restaurant? 

Umm, it really depends. I like Chinese/Asian type foods and pizza and a lot of things, so... I can’t really choose one? I really love Thai Express though.

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?

It’s a toss up between pistachio and mint chocolate chip. Chocolate chip cookie dough is really good too

Favorite Chocolate Candy?

Ferrero Rocher or anything with a chocolate/hazelnut mix

Favorite Fruity Candy?

Sour Skittles or wine gums

Favorite Flavor Starburst?

Either the pink or the red

Favorite dish at Olive Garden?

I’ve actually never been to Olive Garden.

Favorite kind of sushi?

Uramaki (California rolls)... I also like maki.. (oh boy, now I’m craving sushi)

Favorite Asian dish?

I’ve really only had Westernized type Asian food, so.. I love spring rolls, sushi (see above), chow mein...

Favorite Italian Dish?

There’s a lot to choose from there as half my extended family is from Calabria... so...  chicken parmigiana or angel hair primavera

Favorite food of all time?

There’s a lot to choose from there... I really love steak though. Like, a little too much. 

Favorite way to cook a steak?

Medium, sometimes medium well

Favorite pasta dish?

Angel hair primavera

Favorite cookie?

White chocolate macadamia nut

Favorite fast food french fries?

Mcdonalds

Favorite cereal?

Raisin Bran. Don’t @ me

Favorite breakfast food?

Mmmm, omlettes. 

Favorite pizza toppings?

Pepperoni, green pepper, sometimes pineapple.... sometimes olives.

Favorite fruit?

It’s a tie between strawberries, cherries and pomegranates. 

Favorite vegetable?

Broccoli

Favorite dessert? 

White chocolate cheesecake.

Favorite comfort food?

Homemade chicken soup

Favorite way to eat bacon?

On its own, honestly.

Favorite thing at a buffet?

I don’t really go to buffets..... 

Favorite pumpkin flavored treat?

Pumpkin spiced lattes........................ don’t start with me

Favorite dish at Thanksgiving?

Stuffing.

Favorite cake?

Strawberry shortcake... or angel cake w/ strawberries.

Favorite ice cream sundae toppings?

Hot fudge, maraschino cherries and whipped cream

Favorite thing to cook?

I love making pizza..

Favorite soda?

Cherry coke.

Favorite alcoholic drink?

Vodka coke.

Favorite drink at Starbucks?

Skinny cinnamon dolce latte

Favorite flavor coffee?

I just.... coffee? and espresso... I love espresso.

Television & Movies

Favorite 80′s movie?

Um, toss up between ET, the Indiana Jones movies (Last Crusade has always been my fave), and The Shining.

Favorite Harry Potter movie?

Toss up between Prisoner of Azkaban and Half Blood Prince in the HP series... Crimes of Grindelwald (so far) in the Fantastic Beasts series.

Favorite Hobbit from Lord of the Rings?

Bilbo.

Favorite Simpson’s character? 

Lisa.

Favorite cartoon cat?

Felix the cat. 

Favorite TV sitcom?

I Love Lucy. Does that count as a sitcom?

Favorite cartoon?

Peanuts (does that count?) or Looney Tunes

Favorite scary movie?

I’ve watched a LOT of horror movies, but Halloween (1978) hands down.

Favorite funny movie?

Hmmm... I don’t watch many comedic movies, honestly.. Bridesmaids? I don’t know..

Favorite celebrity?

Y’all really gonna ask this? We all know it’s Jude Law.

Favorite South Park character?

I never really got into South Park, tbh.

Favorite chick flick?

Um, The Holiday and maybe Confessions of a Shopaholic....

Favorite Pixar movie?

I’d have to choose three ‘cause I can’t choose one... Ratatouille, Coco, and Toy Story

Favorite Family Guy character?

Don’t really watch it. I watched the first season. Stewie, I guess?

Favorite Leonardo Dicaprio movie?

Aw, you gotta do this to me? Top 3: Titanic, The Great Gatsby and Shutter Island.

Favorite Actress over 50?

Do people who are dead count? ‘Cause I’d choose Marilyn Monroe in a heartbeat.

Favorite Marvel movie?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Favorite TV Show?

A tie between Hannibal and Twin Peaks.

Favorite cancelled TV series?

Hannibal. Definitely Hannibal.

Favorite show on the Discovery Channel?

I don’t really watch it all that much.... can I use a show from the History Channel instead? (Hunting Hitler)

Favorite classic movie?

Niagara (1953) or Dracula (1931)

Music

Favorite Beatles song?

Golden Slumbers

Favorite string instrument?

Acoustic guitar

Favorite instrument?

Piano

Favorite band or music artist?

I have too many so, Neutral Milk Hotel, Nirvana and Lana Del Rey.

Favorite music genre?

Indie, alternative, whatever.

Favorite style of dance?

I love the way swing dancing looks.

Favorite boy band?

Oof, ya outtin’ me. NSYNC.

Favorite disco song?

Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough - Michael Jackson or Night Fever - Bee Gees

Favorite 80′s song?

I love a LOT of 80′s music so... I can give you a few (I can’t choose one, that’s impossible): Call Me - Blondie, Take on Me - Aha, Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler, You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead or Alive, A Criminal Mind - Gowan, Maneater - Hall & Oates, Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson (THERE ARE A LOT MORE)

Favorite cover song?

Byaginc’s version of Losing My Religion - REM and I also really like Lo-Fang’s version of You’re the One That I Want.

Favorite one hit wonder?

Sex and Candy - Marcy Playground

Favorite song you’re embarrassed to like?

Ummmmm.. if I have to pick one.. Irresistible by Jessica Simpson (also the version with Lil Bow Wow is a banger?)

Favorite foreign band/artist?

Catatonia (does that count, I mean, I’m not Welsh.. so). I also like Pink Floyd.

Travel & Recreation

Favorite state you’ve visited?

I’ve only visited one state in the US and it was Florida.

Favorite country you want to visit?

Italy or England

Favorite thing about America?

If you’re referencing the US, I live in Canada, so... I don’t know?

Favorite kind of vacation?

I love beaches... but I also love art and architecture so *shrug*

Favorite car?

1950′s VW Beetle. 

Favorite road to drive on?

I don’t drive.

Favorite way to travel?

Car, I hate planes.

Favorite beach?

I haven’t been to many honestly.

Favorite place to go with family?

DISNEY WORLD.

Favorite vacation you’ve taken?

The first one I ever went on to Universal Studios in Orlando.

Favorite fictional place you’d want to visit?

Hogwarts, let’s be real.

Favorite ride at a carnival?

Those swing carousel things.

Favorite thing to do at the beach?

.....read

Favorite rollercoaster?

I do nOT do rollercoasters.

Favorite theme park?

Disney DISNEY D I S N E Y

Favorite thing about traveling?

I love nice hotels, I don’t know why that’s my fave part, but it is.

Nature & Animals

Favorite dinosaur?

Um, I’ve never really thought about that? T-Rex, I guess?

Favorite breed of dog?

Poodle.

Favorite season?

Autumn

Favorite flower?

Hiscibus

Favorite animal at the zoo?

Elephants... if they have them or pandas

Favorite type of bear?

Panda bears

Favorite natural disaster?

....what kind of question is that?

Favorite reptile?

I love snakes.

Favorite animal?

Tie between cats and sloths.

Favorite bird?

Owls.

Favorite thing in the sky?

The moon.

Favorite thing about a rainy day?

Hearing rain on the roof.

Favorite sea creature?

Can I say the Loch Ness Monster? (haha) Jellyfish.

Favorite color rose?

Light pink or dark red.

Favorite small mammal?

KITTENS!

Favorite big cat?

I love snow leopards. 

Favorite thing about spring?

Flowers.

Favorite wild animal you’d like as a pet?

A sloth.

Sports

Favorite sport?

Soccer

Favorite extreme sport you're too scared to do?

Does snowboarding count?

Favorite Olympic sport?

Figure skating.

Favorite football team?

Don’t watch American football.

Favorite basketball team?

Don’t really watch that either.

Favorite hockey team?

I know I’m Canadian, but I’m honestly not that invested. I’d choose the Maple Leafs ‘cause I’m from TO, but they’re.... aw f ul.

Favorite baseball team?

Blue Jays

Favorite sport to play?

Soccer.

Favorite winter sport?

I do not do winter sports. I’m a klutz as it is.

Favorite sport you wish you were a pro at?

Figure skating would be AMAZING.

Favorite professional athlete?

Serena Williams, Evgenia Medvedeva

Favorite sport to watch in person?

Hockey.

Childhood

Favorite nursery rhyme?

Didn’t really have a favorite.

Favorite childhood memory?

My grandfather. 

Favorite board game?

Monopoly or Scrabble

Favorite children’s show?

I looooooved Looney Tunes. I still do, honestly.

Favorite toy as a child?

I had a Barney the Dinosaur plush (I had Barney everything)

Favorite teacher?

My sixth grade teacher was a pretty cool dude.

Favorite thing about school?

Art class.

Favorite age?

Don’t really have one, maybe 4 or 5?

Favorite Christmas present?

My mom bought me a N64.

Favorite Dr. Seuss book?

Green Eggs & Ham

Favorite Halloween costume you've worn?

Technically I wore it as a teen, but the Silk Spectre II costume I wore when I was 17.

Favorite lunchbox snack?

Dunkaroos!

Favorite Winnie the Pooh character?

Pooh & Eeyore. 

Favorite thing to do during recess?

Read.

Favorite superhero?

Wonder Woman.

Favorite video game?

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Favorite color Power Ranger?

Pink.

Favorite fairy tale?

Does Beauty and the Beast count?

Favorite game to play outside?

Catch the flag.

Fashion & Beauty

Favorite department store?

Does Sephora count as a department store?

Favorite place to shop?

There’s a lot of places I love to shop. Mostly bookstores though.

Favorite store in the mall?

Indigo/Chapters (I love my books)

Favorite perfume/cologne?

YSL Black Opium or Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle

Favorite hair color?

On me? A mix of auburn and dark brown

Favorite makeup you can't live without?

Eyebrow pencil 

Favorite shoes?

My thigh high dark brown suede go-go boots. ;)

Favorite occasion to dress up for?

I’ll honestly dress up for anything. I love dressing up.

Favorite hairstyle?

Anything wavy/curly with or without braids.

Favorite outfit you have?

Right now I have a super cute wrap dress that I like.

Favorite soap scent?

I like the smell of Dove soap, is that weird?

Favorite article of clothing?

I love high waist mini skirts.

Favorite place for a piercing?

Upper ear.

Favorite piece of jewelry?

Right now I’m a dork for the replica pendant from Crimes of Grindelwald. I also love this bracelet/ring/hand jewelry thing I have.

Favorite thing to wear to bed?

Sometimes lace and silk stuff ;) Sometimes just huge t-shirts

Favorite luxury brand?

YSL

Random

Favorite candle scent?

I love coconut scents.

Favorite extracurricular activity?

.....reading? (again)

Favorite day of the week?

Sunday

Favorite holiday?

Does Halloween count as a holiday?

Favorite website?

Well, I’m on Tumblr QUITE a bit...

Favorite way to communicate?

Usually face to face.. I hate talking on the phone. Text message is a close second.

Favorite Youtube video?

I love this dork. [x]

Favorite kind of house?

Victorian

Favorite car color?

Teal?

Favorite baby boy name?

I don’t know...

Favorite baby girl name?

Charlie, Evelyn

Favorite thing to do when you’re sick?

It’s an odd habit of mine to watch The Mummy or HP or Spice World for some reason

Favorite person you’ve never met?

Famous? Bryan Fuller Person in my life? MY THREE BEST FRIENDS!

Favorite question you’ve answered so far?

I don’t know...........

Favorite thing you’ve done in the last 24 hours?

I literally slept most of the day. Don’t judge me.

Favorite place to meet up with friends?

Kitty Cafes and.... cafes in general.

Favorite hobby?

Reading, making art.... listening to music

Favorite way to cheer you up?

Anything to do with Jude Law usually does the trick, bahaha

Favorite thing to look forward to?

Leaving this god awful small city to go explore other places.

Favorite kind of gift to receive?

Things that are heartfelt... things that people make whether it be handmade or... whatever... it’s really sweet.

Favorite crafty thing to make?

Does sketching count? Funny story, I used to get in trouble in art class in high school for sketching human anatomy (hands, collarbones etc) instead of reviewing art history notes, which I also loved by the way.

Favorite way to relax?

Reading, bubble baths.... other ways ;)

[formeryelpers]

ME + Crepe, 89 E Green St., Pasadena, CA 91105

I wasn’t too excited about another crepe place opening in Pasadena, but then I found out that ME + Crepe is a Chinese savory crepe/jianbing place. Pasadena doesn’t have any other place to get jianbing.

You can build your own bing/crepe ($5.95, toppings cost extra) or choose one of their signature crepes. The Double Down with BBQ pork and BBQ duck is the most popular crepe. Other fillings include ham, tuna, braised pork rib, beef, etc. Every bing starts with same – the crepe part is the same. It’s made with whole gram flour, egg, green onion, cilantro and black sesame seeds. The filling and sauces are what differs. You can choose between a Chinese chip or Chinese donut, specify spice level, and request more or less sauce. Add soy milk (hot or cold) and a tea egg to make it a combo (+ $3).

* Double down crepe ($11.95) with BBQ pork, BBQ duck, special sauce, and a Chinese donut. This was a big, filling crepe. It comes in a paper bag that you can fold, so you can eat it neatly (jianbing is a street food). The crepe was very hot, hot off the griddle. The crepe itself is plain, soft but firm enough to hold the fillings. The meat and sauces were extremely flavorful but oily/greasy. The meat quality was good – the BBQ pork had a slight sweetness, the duck was rich and savory. The donut seemed small and chewy (I expected it to be crunchier). The sauce was sweet, savory, and spicy. I’m sure it wasn’t healthy but I expected the duck and donut would make it greasy and heavy. Still, this was a better jianbing than the other ones I’ve had.

* Soy milk: they only have the sweet kind and it was very sweet

* Tea egg: Smelled nice but it was very salty

The menu also includes sides and drinks. The tofu side seemed popular. The menu doesn’t describe it at all but you can choose the toppings, I think?? It’s soft tofu with sweet or savory toppings.

Crepes are made to order, so the wait can be long. I went early and they weren’t busy. Order at the counter and get a number. They’ll call your number when your order is ready.

The décor is cuter and nicer than most of the Chinese places that I go to. There’s a cute b/w mural of Chinese people in traditional attire going to the ME + Crepe jianbing stall. Each table has ME + Crepe utensil holders. The food is served on custom ME + Crepe wood trays.

3.5 out of 5 stars.

By Lolia S.

[wearebraveyourhighness]

Because, I am meanie and said Lauren should do all of them I guess I should do them all to just to be fair. :)

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors

MInt, Purple Cow, and Blueberry Cheesecake

2: Top 3 disney movies

Beauty & The Beast, Pirates Of The Caribbean, and Robin Hood

3: Top 3 vacation destinations

Ireland, Alaska, and England

4: Top 3 places to shop

Love Culture, Hot Topic, and Worlds Market

5: Top 3 school subjects

English, Creative Writing, and History

6: Top 3 makeup products

Eyeshadow (that’s mostly it because I’m not exactly a girly girl, lol)

7: Top 3 music artists

Shakira, Lady Gaga, and Christian Kane

8: Top 3 spices/herbs

Mint, Parsley, & Sage

9: Top 3 drinks

Sprite, Lemonade, and Chocolate Milk

10: Top 3 apps to use

Etsy, BeFunky, and Tribez

11: Top 3 months of the year

January, February, and October

12: Top 3 clothing items

Boots, Leggings, and Sweater

13: Top 3 tv shows

Prison Break, The Originals, and Beauty & The Beast

14: Top 3 romantic dates

Walking in the park, Sitting on the back of a tailgate watching the stars, and Bonfires

15: Top 3 kinds of flower

Lilies, Roses, and Lilacs

16: Top 3 christmas movies

Frosty The Snowman, White Christmas, and Prep & Landing

17: Top 3 OTPs

Rey & Kylo Ren, Sherlock Holmes & Joan Watson, Hayley & Elijah from The Originals

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life

I don’t really have 3 quotes to describe my life. I just like quotes in general. Can’t narrow it down to 3.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself

I’m very motherly even though I have yet to actually have children, I like my eyes, and I’m a very good listener to some people I’m more a psychiatrist than a friend sometimes, lol.

20: Top 3 kinds of candy

Sweet Tarts, Sprees, and Jolly Rancher

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active

Dancing, Squats, and Hiking

22: Top 3 spirit animals

Wolf, Eagle, and Deer

23: Top 3 pet names

Peekaboo (I use to peek under doors as a kid. I was very curious.), Sweetie Pie, and one other one I don’t care to mention, lol.

24: Top 3 books

I don’t have a top 3 for books because I like all books. :)

25: Top 3 most used websites

Tumblr, My work website so I can figure out my schedule for the week, and 

26: Top 3 people you last texted

My fiance’ Adam, my friend Scott, and my best friend Virginia

27: Top 3 hashtags you use

I don’t really use hashtags

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow

I don’t use Instagram

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures

Sweet Tarts, Fuzzy blankets, and SeaGrams

30: Top 3 summer activities

Swimming, Camping, and Hiking

31: Top 3 things to draw

Landscapes is the only thing I can draw. I suck at rest. 

32: Top 3 aesthetics

No idea what that means....

33: Top 3 things you’d buy if you gained three million dollars

A house w/farm, land for a wildlife preserve for wolf conservation, and a new car

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself

Pedicure, Hair coloring, and a Nap

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes

Hayden Christensen, Tatanka Means, and Christian Kane

36: Top 3 books from your childhood

Good Night Moon, Arthur Series, and Robin Hood

37: Top 3 accents to hear

Irish, Australian, and Scottish

38: Top 3 scents

Vanilla, Lavender, and Cinnamon

39: Top 3 “friends” quotes

Don’t have any quotes really

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors

Chocolate, Vanilla, and Marble

41: Top 3 fruits

Blueberries, Raspberries, and Mango

42: Top 3 places you’ve had amazing pizza from

Dominos, Pizza Hut, and Tony’s

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch

I don’t have any

44: Top 3 crayola colors

Purple, Blue, and Red

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college

Went to college and graduated

46: Top 3 fanfictions you’ve read

I don’t remember what there titles are

47: Top 3 people you miss right now

My fiance’, my grandma who passed away, and my 

48: Top 3 fears

Blood, Germs, and Death

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices

No idea what that means.

50: Top 3 pet peeves

When guys can’t put the seat down, when people assume things about others, and when people put stigma against mental illness

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive

Smile, Eyes, and Hands

52: Top 3 bad habits

I bite my nails, I pick at myself when I’m anxious/nervous, and I don’t go to church as often as I should.

53: Top 3 pets you’ve had/wish to have

I've had a lot of pets I don’t think I would wish to have anything else.

54: Top 3 types of foreign food

I love anything Italian

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime

That is a tough question because I honestly don’t have an answer to that

56: Top 3 dog breeds

Husky, Great Pyrenees, and Labrador

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies

I really don’t watch a lot of romance movies

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak

Irish Gaelic, German, and French

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television)

Prison Break, Star Wars, and Call The Midwife

60: Top 3 pizza toppings

Cheese, Pineapple, and Ham

61: Top 3 youtubers you’re subscribed to

Adalia Rose, Lucas The Spider, and Batdad

62: Top 3 tattoo/piercing ideas

I want to get a Celtic cross/knot on the back of my neck, a semicolon behind my ear or on my wrist, and a quote I can’t remember on my forearm. 

63: Top 3 awards you want to win

I’m not one who likes being awarded for things

64: Top 3 emojis

I use a lot of the Star Wars ones, the hugging bear, and smiley faces

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning

I’m not really into cars. I’m good with anything that gets me from Point A to Point B.

66: Top 3 authors

I don’t have a top 3

67: Top 3 historical figures

Hatshepsut, Pocahontas, and Joan of Arc

68: Top 3 baby names

Lyanna, Anakin, and Natalie

69: Top 3 DIYs

Jewelry, Tie blankets, and Crocheting

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors

Wild Berry, Mango, and Pomegranate

71: Top 3 songs of this month

Feral Hearts by Kerli, Alejandro by Lady Gaga, and Teeth by Lady Gaga

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked

I’m not shy ask me anything :)

73: Top 3 villains

Harley Quinn, Darth Revan, and Kylo Ren

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see

I want to go back to Washington D.C., Salem/Ipswich, and Seattle.

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try

I don’t have three I have a whole drawer full :)

76: Top 3 dream jobs

Egyptologist/Historian, Veterinarian, and Writer

77: Top 3 lucky items

I don’t believe in that sort of thing

78: Top 3 traditions you have

I don’t really have any traditions I have

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid

I barely remember my childhood if I did I could tell you something

80: Top 3 harry potter characters

Luna Lovegood, Hermione, and Harry Potter

81: Top 3 lies you were told

Rather not talk about it

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now

They’re all nature shots

83: Top 3 turn ons

Smile, Eyes, and Honestly

84: Top 3 turn offs

Liars, High maintenance, and Rude

85: Top 3 magazines/newspapers/journals to read

I actually don’t read mags or newspapers

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier

There are to many to count....

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes

Never really watched it

88: Top 3 places to be in the world

Home, Nature Preserve, and Museums

89: Top 3 things you’d do differently

To many to count, tbh.

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood

Power Rangers, Batman, and Pokemon

91: Top 3 meals you love

PB&J sandwiches, Mac Cheese, and Meatloaf

92: Top 3 kinds of tea

I hate drinking tea, yuck

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments

I am very clumsy so you can guess the stupid things I’ve done, lol

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate

Christmas, 4th of July, and Star Wars Day

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain

Listen to it, Read in a nook, and Nap

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow

Snowboard, Snow Angel, and Snowballs

97: Top 3 items you can’t leave the house w/o

Purse, Cell Phone, and Keys

98: Top 3 movies you’d like to see

I don’t keep up to date with movies

99: Top 3 art mediums

Smithsonian

100: Top 3 museums you’ve been to

Various Smithsonian’s in Washington D.C.

101: Top 3 school memories

I played soccer, School choir, and FFA

102: Top 3 things you don’t/won’t miss

My younger years when I was bullied a lot, My past, and People who I thought were friends

103: Top 3 pick up lines

No idea....

104: Top 3 sports to watch

Soccer, Snowboarding, and Surfing

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs

Your kidding right.......

[igrublocal]

The Best Takeout & Delivery We Got This Week

Restaurants across the state have slowly started to reopen, and close, and reopen again over the past few months. It can be a lot to keep up with, and there’s still a large degree of uncertainty around the safety of dining out. Want to know what’s safe? Eating at home. And if you’re as bored of canned tuna as we are by now, here are a few great meals we’ve had recently that you can get for takeout or delivery.

Featured In

The Ultimate Austin Delivery & Takeout Guide

See all our guides

Week Of August 24

$$$$ 6800 West Gate Blvd #112

We recently wrote about the lechon asado loaded fries from Cuba512 in our best loaded fries in Austin guide, but if you’re not feeling potato-inclined, there’s a number of other great Cuban dishes you can get here, including the classic El Cubano that we really enjoyed. It’s filled with roasted pork, ham, Swiss cheese, pickles, and mustard - all on pressed Cuban bread. No fancy tricks or ingredients here, just a simple, classic sandwich done well. Their downtown location is currently closed, but their South Austin location off William Cannon and West Gate is open for takeout. Bring it home, make yourself a nice rum cocktail, open up all the windows, and pretend you’re on vacation somewhere tropical.

 in 

$$$$ 7800 South 1st St

As you might guess from the name, Artipasta serves fresh pasta, and it’s possibly some of the best in town. We got the tagliatelle with the house meat sauce as well as the casarecce with basil pesto. It’s located in the spacious Thicket Food Park in South Austin - it was so chill and tranquil that we sat down at one of the picnic tables and just ate our takeout there. Pair it with a San Pellegrino and pretend like you’re in Italy - it’s not like we’ll be allowed to travel there anytime soon.

$$$$ 2101 Manor Rd

Thai Thani is easy to miss. It’s a food trailer behind another food trailer behind a gas station on Manor Rd. But if you manage to find your way there, you’ll be greeted with some really great Thai food. We went with a chicken pad thai this time around, and the portion was enough to last us a couple of meals. But if you’re looking to round out your meal a little more, we also really like their pad see ew and stir-fried basil beef. And if they have their mango with sticky rice dessert, it’s the perfect closer.

,  ,   in 

$$$$ 422 W 5th St. #C

On the northwest corner of Republic Square in downtown Austin is Salt & Time Cafe, a new all-day cafe with outdoor seating from the people behind the popular East Side butcher shop and restaurant, Salt & Time. We picked up some sandwiches, including the Jambon Beurre, featuring mezcal-glazed ham, dill pickles, and a very French amount of salted butter, all on a demi-baguette. It’s enough to make you do things like wear a beret, smoke Gauloises cigarettes, and go on strike (for more sandwiches like this).

Week Of August 17

$$$$ 6519 N Lamar Blvd

Paprika opened up relatively quietly back in late 2019 and has been slinging out great tacos and tortas ever since. We enjoyed the taco de carnitas and taco de nopalitos, the latter of which comes packed full of well-seasoned prickly pear cactus and refried lentils. Every taco gets paired with a specific salsa - a really nice touch that elevates the experience a bit. The menu changes a bit depending on the time and day, so take a look at their website for the most up-to-date menu information before heading over.

$$$$ 9717 N Lamar Blvd Unit C2

Usta Kababgy opened just last year on Lamar just north of Rundberg, and the restaurant is turning out some really great Middle Eastern/Halal food. The charcoal-grilled kebabs were excellent, including the Iraqi and chicken ones. The tabbouleh was bright, and the pizza-like flatbread - we got the one that’s half zaatar, half feta cheese - was fantastic. But what stole the show was the fluffy and tender house-made bread. Order extra.

 in 

$$$$ 900 E 11th St

Ordering takeout from Franklin Barbecue is one of the absolute best things you can do for yourself and for the lucky people you like enough to share with. We can also confirm that this barbecue tastes just as good without the usual five-hour wait/tailgate. To order, you just select a day and time (lunch hours only) up to one week in advance on their site, pick your meats (in 1 lb increments, except for links of sausage), and remind yourself that spending this kind of money is worth it when you get to eat this brisket. The pick-up situation is easy, too - staffers will bring your order right to your trunk. Get it home as quickly as you can, have the lunch spread you deserve, and spend the rest of the day knowing you made excellent decisions.

$$$$ 12233 Ranch Road 620 N

The dining room at Charm BBQ Chicken in north Austin is closed, so they’re not doing barbecue at the moment. But as the name suggests, their other focus is fried chicken. And we’re happy to report that the fried chicken is exceptional, with a shatteringly crisp skin (just ask for sauce on the side so you can toss the chicken in it when you get home). The rest of the menu has classic dishes like homemade and juicy mandoo dumplings, beef bulgogi, and bibimbap that comes with instructions on how to put it together - it wouldn’t travel well otherwise.

Week Of August 10

,   in 

$$$$ 9515 N Lamar Blvd Ste 230

The North Lamar Korean restaurant Seoulju has been takeout only since the pandemic hit, and just last week they launched delivery of both food and drink. Which means that you can get dishes like Korean Fried Chicken, kimchi stew, and spicy rice cakes, alongside beer and soju delivered right to your door. We opted for two sauces on our still-crispy chicken wings: Korean Sweet & Chili and Extra Spicy Sweet & Chili. Get the extra spicy.

,  ,  ,   in 

$$$$ 2305 E 7th St

The dining room at Joe’s Bakery, the family-run East Side Tex-Mex staple, is closed. For now they’re sticking to a drive-in model (you can’t even call ahead or order online). You park, waitstaff comes out and asks if you need a menu, they take your order, and the food comes out fast. We recently got an order of breakfast tacos (migas con todo and a bacon, egg, and cheese) as well as a side order of carne guisada and a whole bunch of their fluffy homemade flour tortillas. Everything was excellent, as always. You don’t even need to ask for their spicy salsa - they’ll put so many containers in your takeout bag that you’ll have leftover salsa for days and days.

,  ,   in  , 

$$$$ 2709 Rogge Ln

The menu at Gossip Shack consists of just a few items - chicken, waffles, and waffle fries. But everything they offer, they do exceptionally well. Their wings are some of our favorite in town, due in large part to their unique offering of flavors, like jerk chicken or their signature CPR (Cajun, parmesan, ranch). And those are exactly what we got - large, perfectly fried chicken wings coated in Cajun spices, ranch seasoning, and enough parmesan to make a bowl of spaghetti jealous. Orders can take a while and they often sell out before their stated hours, so call ahead and get your order in ahead of time.

,  ,   in  ,  , 

$$$$ 3124 Manor Rd

We love a lot of things about La Fruta Feliz - their barbacoa de chivo (barbecue goat) is a favorite on tacos, and their al pastor is excellent - but if you’re looking for a really good and hearty lunch, their torta is a clear winner. Coming in at a massive 12 pounds (don’t fact check us on that), it’s packed full of meat - in this case, al pastor - and veggies for just under $5. They also have a huge fruit and veggie juice list, so go ahead and throw on a Digestivo (papaya, orange, and carrots) to help you get it all down.

Week Of August 3

,   in 

$$$$ 400 Josephine St

Carpenters Hall at the Carpenter Hotel has switched to takeout only, and they’re selling a cold fried chicken picnic for two or four. For $28, the picnic is not an insignificant amount of food, consisting of a half chicken (with a ranch dressing and spicy honey), potato salad, roasted green beans, and a cabbage slaw. Plus two very good chocolate chip cookies. You will have leftovers.

,   in 

$$$$ 9012 Research Blvd Ste C4

The Slab Slider Trio at Slab BBQ is exactly what it claims to be: three barbecue sliders. They’re mini versions of their much larger sandwiches: the Notorious P.I.G. (pulled pork, mustard coleslaw), the Texas O.G. (brisket, pickles, onions), and the Chicken W.A. (smoked chicken, coleslaw). But just because they’re smaller doesn’t mean they don’t pack the same flavor punch. And at $12, it’s a perfect lunch for those of us afraid of a singular sandwich commitment. Why have just one sandwich when you can have three, each one better than the next?

,   in 

$$$$ 2701 East Martin Luther King Jr Blvd

Lechonera El Pachango specializes in roast pork - something they’ve proven to do exceptionally well in the short month that they’ve been operating out of a seemingly-abandoned gas station on East MLK. We weren’t sure what we wanted to try when we pulled up, so we decided to just go with our nose (and a little guidance from the owner). We ended up walking out with a plate of slow-roasted pork, rice with peas, and yuca with pickled red onions. The pork was juicy and topped with a sauce made from a bit of the marinade and lime that we couldn’t get enough of. The yuca con mojo comes out in a stewed-consistency, making it fork-tender and bursting with tangy flavor. And the rice was the perfect intake-vehicle for all of it.

Week Of July 27

$$$$ 5811 Berkman Dr

We’re working on a guide to takeout Happy Hours, and the Windsor Park neighborhood restaurant Hank’s has a very solid offering. Every day from 3-6:30pm, you can get very good and very inexpensive frozen palomas, frose, and frozen margaritas - they’re $5 each. Order online, and pick up at their convenient drive thru takeout window. Instead of racing home with your frozen cocktails - drive safe - it’s perhaps better to bring a cooler.

,  ,   in 

$$$$ 2301 W Parmer Ln

Bodhi Viet is a small food truck in North Austin with a 100% vegan Vietnamese menu, offering everything from banh mi and pho, to Vietnamese coffee and boba tea. We really liked the banh mi we had here, stuffed with a spicy lemongrass seitan, and filled with fresh vegetables that they grow themselves. And the best part is that they’re only $3, so you can throw in an order of their pineapple curry that we also really enjoyed and still get away for under $10.

,   in  , 

$$$$ 2406 Manor Road

Vic & Al’s is the new Cajun restaurant from the people that brought you the ever-popular Italian food trailer, Patrizi’s. We really like the po-boys, especially the super-tender blackened catfish and the Cochon De Lait, which has a sauce that’s almost like tonkotsu broth. The vacuum-packed, pre-made cocktails are also fun, including the very good made-for-summer Orange Drink (it’s very orange, but it also has tequila). Vic & Al’s is open for both takeout and delivery.

Week Of July 20

,   in 

$$$$ 500 San Marcos St #105

Bufalina Deli isn’t technically a new restaurant - instead it’s a simple lunch-and-dinner concept operating out of Wright Bros. Brew & Brew with a variety of salads and Italian sandwiches. On a recent takeout order, we really liked the summer tomato salad and the meatball parm hoagie. And since you’re ordering from The Brew & Brew, you can also get coffee, beer, and wine. Place your order online and pick it up at The Brew & Brew.

,   in  , 

$$$$ 8023 Burnet Rd

You might have heard about Ramen 512 and their often sold out popups - yes, the ramen was that good. But now they’ve found a permanent home, inside the new “cloud kitchen” concept Kitchen United Mix. This place currently has three options: Hakata Classic (a pork tonkotsu), the BGO (the Hakata Classic with black garlic oil), and the Sunset Red (a spicy version of the Hakata Classic). We recently tried the BGO and the Sunset Red - the broth for each was super creamy and rich, as a pork tonkotsu should be, and the spice level on the Sunset Red was in fact actually spicy. You can order the ramen ready-to-eat, or you can cook the noodles at home, with very precise instructions. Takeout and delivery are available.

 in  , 

$$$$ 3842 Airport Blvd

Despite the small space - Lula Mae’s is located in a small gas station off Airport and 38 ½ St. - this place manages to put out some really great barbecue, with side dishes that are tasty enough to order on their own. We really like the brisket and the pork chop - the latter of which is served as a giant, whole chop with a smoky exterior and a juicy center. You can get all of the meats by the pound, in combo-plates, or as a sandwich.

 in  , 

$$$$ 7301 Burnet Rd

The dining room at DipDipDip Tatsu-Ya, the Japanese shabu-shabu place from the Ramen Tatsu-ya team, has been closed since the pandemic hit. But they did what people do these days, and pivoted. They transformed the restaurant into a takeout-only pop-up serving sandwiches that mash up the French dip and shabu-shabu, with excellent results. Our favorite is the beef sandwich with a wasabi ranch and the pork sandwich with kimchi and a curry cabbage slaw. For dipping, you can choose between an umami jus and a spicy miso (they recommend which dipping sauce to get for each sandwich). Make sure to get an order of the aptly named “Pow!tato” - a side dish with some of the most impossibly crispy smashed potato chunks we’ve ever had.

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Week of July 13

 in  , 

$$$$ 805 Stark St Austin

The Haitian food truck Kreyol Korner - off of North Lamar near Koenig - is usually open only on Saturdays, but it’s worth waiting for the weekend to roll around to try this place. Check their Facebook for the current menu and opening days and hours. Standouts from a recent meal include stuffed plantain cups and the super-tender stewed chicken combo. Also, make sure to ask for extra pikliz, the Haitian pickled vegetable relish.

,  ,  ,   in  , 

$$$$ 1104 W 34th St

Otherside Deli makes some of our favorite sandwiches in Austin, from cheesesteaks and meatball parm subs, to Italian subs and patty melts. But if you’re a first-timer at Otherside, chances are you’re here for the reuben - loaded up with their housemade pastrami, swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and russian dressing, between two slices of grilled rye bread. Keep an eye on their Instagram for some fun specials, like the Outer Limit Fries that come loaded up with all of the typical reuben fillings, but on a bed of waffle fries. They’re currently accepting takeout orders from their shop near 34th and Lamar.

,   in 

$$$$ 1234 S Lamar Blvd

Ever since they originally opened, Ramen Tatsu-Ya has been vehemently anti-takeout. But then the pandemic hit, and they pivoted to takeout-only (and have stayed that way ever since). We recently picked up some of their ramen and it tasted just like how we remembered it at the restaurant. The toppings and noodles come in their own container (that way the noodles don’t get soggy), and the broth is packed in a deli pint container that’s thoroughly wrapped in plastic wrap to prevent in-car disasters. The instructions are clear: heat the broth, do not boil, then add the broth to the noodles and toppings. And with three locations in Austin - north, east, and south - ramen is never too far away.

Week Of July 6

$$$$ 100 12th St

Island Fork in Pflugerville specializes in Caribbean food, like jerk chicken, curry goat, and escovitch fish (fried fish topped with pickled vegetables). They also have jerk-seasoned burgers and chicken sandwiches, as well as a menu of “rasta pastas” that feature creamy, Caribbean-inspired pasta sauces served over noodles and a variety of meats, like oxtail and jerk salmon. We usually get the jerk chicken here, served with coconut rice and grilled sweet plantains. Make sure to get a Caribbean soda as well - we like the Irish Moss and Ting.

,   in 

$$$$ 1108 East 12th St

Blink and you might miss this little food trailer on East 12th street, which has some of the best Mexico City-style street tacos in Austin right now. Cuantos Tacos has a tight menu of classics like suadero and beef cheeks, as well as a few less-common options, like buche and longaniza. Everything can be made as tacos or quesadillas, and at $2 and $5, respectively, the prices are affordable enough that you can probably try a few items off the menu. We like just about everything they carry, but our favorites are probably the champiñones quesadillas and the suadero tacos.

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[kinfoodie]

purrhaps some food for an autistic magpie who loves spice? (not necessarily hot spice, but strong flavours) also maybe stuff that is either fancy-type or fingerfood (both eould be best but i understand if you cant find anything) [side note: i have a big sweet tooth too]

@theatrecollective

Heya! Sure thing :3 Magpies are opportunistic feeders so I went for a collection of fancy finger foods that are both veggie and meat. 

Ham Wrapped Coconut Shrimp Bites

Prosciutto Wrapped Pears

Prunes Wrapped in Bacon

Bruschetta w/ Fresh Ricotta

Jalapeno Popper Corn Cake

Cucumber Yogurt Dip

Stuffed Mushrooms

Isola Trattoria

Lamb Lettuce Cups

Tofu Sticks

Cheese Straws

Lemon Lime Pudding

Mint Julep Cupcakes

Hope you like it! :) If not feel free to hit me back up and I’ll find some other stuff

[fimficveyron]

A Surprise lunch.

A large dark grey bat pony stared out the window of the train as it pulled in to Trotting ham station, the old brick building was large and imposing to those who were new to the city, but to the bat pony, it was home. He smiled as the train came to stop and let it passengers out into the warm spring day.

“Gemini?” a portly chestnut brown earth pony asked as he helped unload bags from under the car. “Gemini, Sir where would you like all of this delivered?

The bat pony scanned his boxes of equipment and then turned to his bandmates. “Have them sent to Midnight Records please.” Gemini smiled as he tipped the earth pony and readjusted the guitar slung across his back. Gemini trotted down the street calling out goodbyes to his bandmates as they each went their own ways. “let’s see, Sweet has the kids, I don’t need to unpack anything and I won’t need to be at the studio until tomorrow night.” He grinned a toothily grin as the changed course and headed deeper into the city itself with only one destination in mind.

    The walk took longer than usual as Gemini had decided to stop at a flower shop and a local bakery to pick up some things that he knew his wife would love. Soon enough He found himself in front of a squat brick building with a sign that read Thea’s Sweet Tea Shop. He smiled as he stepped inside, his senses were immediately assaulted with the low murmur of conversations and the smell of the spices used to make and brew the tea. Behind the counter stood a slender unicorn who had rich clay-colored mane and tail while her coat was a beautiful shade of tan. Her deep green eyes turned from her till to Gemini’s own green eyes as she smiled and blushed a bit.

“G-gem, I-I thought you w-were going to be home later.” She said as she walked around the counter and gently kissed him.

“I was, but we had to move the show time to an hour earlier so we finished earlier.” He kissed her back before embracing her causing both of their wedding rings to clink softly together. “I missed you Lemon.” He cooed as they took a seat in an open booth.

Lemon smiled back and held onto the hoof that Gemini had placed on the table. “I-I missed y-you too.” She leaned in and nuzzled him before she noticed the flowers and food he had placed on the table. “G-Gem. A-are those for m-me?”

“I figured I would surprise my wife with her favorite pastries and flowers.” Gemini beamed at her as he placed his guitar down and kissed her before they started to eat.

“K-keep this up m-mister and I-I won’t b-be the only one getting a sur-surprise.” Lemon winked at her husband before leaning in for one last kiss.

Gemini blushed as he held his wife’s kiss for a few seconds more. “who thought lips could be so soft.” He thought as he pulled back and ate a surprise lunch with the mare who had always been and would continue to be his entire world.