#went absolutely insane abt him in that fic

[novasics]

baseball newt au inspired by the newman prompt fic by @hermannsthumb

[bratphilia]

glass window (w. afton x reader)

request: "POOHKIE BEAR HEAR ME OUT!!!! dad's best friend!william. y'all just moved into the neigborhood, and you've been oh so busy with college/working that you hadn't had the time to introduce yourself to william (tho steve for the sake of keeping his identity yada yada) and so like, the moment you get the chance to? william aka steve cannot contain his thoughts abt you oml !! ur just so fucking pretty !! delicate !! those fucking skirts you wear, in the summers of utah (i think thats where the movie/fnaf location is canonically) he'd so.. hungry for you.. bonus points if theres a height/size difference omg JUST HEAR ME OUT POOHKIE!!!- i'll be going under as the 🧚‍♀️ anon!"

note: okay yeah i went a lil crazy with this one but i just loved this request sm. probably my favorite fic ive written so far.

pairing: steve raglan / william afton x reader

tags: age gap (reader is college age 18-21 and william is 45-50), creepy and stalking behavior from william, oral sex (m + f receiving), slight dubcon, doggy style, mating press, multiple orgasms, william having insane stamina at his age

you and your parents just moved to hurricane, utah, aka the most boring town you've ever been to. the second day in your new house, while you were at your criminology class, your neighbor, steve raglan came by to welcome your family to the neighborhood. they mentioned having a college aged daughter. he didn't think much about at the time. it was a passing comment after all.

a few weeks pass by and steve started to become a frequent visitor to your household. however, each of those times you have either been at school or at work. he had no idea who you are.

that is, until one day you come home in the evening after a class while steve is over having a glass of wine with your dad. you close the door behind you to see the door to the backyard open. curiously, you poke your head out and spot your dad with an unfamiliar face, and you stand shyly in the doorway expectantly.

"hey, sweetie," your dad says. "this is steve raglan. our next door neighbor i was telling you about."

you walk towards him when steve holds his hand out for you to shake. "nice to meet you, mr. raglan."

mr. raglan. his ears practically perk up at that. he drinks in your appearance. you're wearing a black, short tennis skirt that stops mid-thigh with a pretty white blouse.

"nice to meet you too," he says politely, trying his hardest not to come across as creepy.

your dad turns to you. "how was class?"

"it was okay. i do have a lot of homework to do, so i should probably go," you say, then turn to steve and wave as you go, "it was nice to meet you again."

his eyes never leave your bare legs as you walk away. and well, he wanted to fucking ruin you.

steve notices something interesting about you while mowing the lawn. there's a gate in the back of your house where he can see a glass door from the angle he's at in the front of his yard. a glass door that, he discovers, is the back entrance to your bedroom.

he decides to make good use of his porch.

at this point, he contemplates buying a pair of binoculars, but that felt like a little too much. for now, he had the view he needed to satisfy him. he even took a few photos that he saves for material to use in his personal time.

unbeknownst to you, steve is absolutely obsessed with you.

his heart skips a beat every time you take a walk in the neighborhood, when, coincidentally, he's sitting on the porch pretending to read a newspaper, and you wave at him and smile. he always returns your smile and waves back kindly.

one day, when you're walking past his house, he notices something gold falling to the ground. when you're out of sight, he goes to investigate, only to find a gold ring that could have only belonged to you. the perfect opportunity. steve waits about a week and keeps your ring with him on top of his nightstand.

sometimes, he notices you like to leave your door open on a particularly hot day. surely you couldn't be naïve to think no one would break in, right? you're just so pretty, who knows who could follow you home from the shadows.

on one particularly hot day, you leave your door open. almost invitingly. and steve watches as your mom's car passes by his house, going out, while he knows for a fact that your dad is working. it's his time to strike.

steve makes his way across the street and through the back gate. he looks through the window to find you reading a book while sitting on your bed. he taps on the glass to get your attention. your eyes snap from the book to the door to see him standing there.

"hi, uhm, can i help you, mr. raglan?" you say, getting up. you look shocked, clearly a little freaked out he came through the back of your house, he presumes.

steve smiles and walks in uninvited, making you back up a little as he steps closer. "hi stranger, i just wanted to return something of yours that you dropped a few days ago."

he turns up the ring in his hand and watches your eyes widen. "i've been looking all over for this! thank you so much."

steve watches as you take the ring from his palm and slip it back on your finger. "you know, i've been wondering something."

you look up at him. "what's that?"

he chuckles lightly and closes the door behind him. "i can't help but notice that you like to leave your door open, and i just wonder how you possibly think that's safe for you."

"i—i don't know what you mean," you say, confused. you fidget with ring on your finger nervously, not liking the direction this conversation is going in.

"well, you know just about anyone could come in here and take advantage of you. you wouldn't want that, hmm?" he asks, stepping towards you and cupping your jaw. "or maybe you would. is that why you do it?"

you inhale. "mr. raglan, i don't think this is appropriate—"

"neither is the way you've been teasing me, little girl," steve retorts and you flash him a scandalized look. "oh, come on, don't think i don't notice. your short skirts showing off that even tinier figure and the way you always seem so eager to get my attention. i know the game you're playing."

he cups your jaw as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip for entrance. you grant him access and he slips his tongue into your mouth. it's a slow, sensual kiss. you're moaning into his mouth as he takes full control. 

steve's hands travel from your face, to your waist, and to your ass to squeeze. you whimper into his mouth and he laughs lowly against you. 

slowly he breaks away from you. "take off your clothes and get on the bed on all fours. now." 

you make a show of taking off your clothes for him. you keep eye contact with him as you unbutton your shirt and discard it mindlessly. then you reach around your back to unclasp your bra, baring your chest to him.

"beautiful," he comments. "take off your panties but keep the skirt on." 

you do what he says and get in the lewd position steve requested a moment ago, mind racing with what he would possibly do to you. you grip the sheets almost nervously and rub your thighs together to relieve the tension in your core. 

steve practically saunters over to you and gives a low whistle. "such a pretty pussy." 

you blush realizing your skirt rode up to your waist. you shiver when he places a cold hand on your ass, kneeding it roughly. 

"ooh," you moan, arching your back needily, making him laugh.

"need it that bad, huh, baby?" 

"yes," you say quietly, turning head around to look at him. 

"don't worry, honey, i'll take good care of you," he says with a twisted smile. 

he leans forward to press a kiss on your slit, moaning at the wetness that drips onto his lips. he wastes absolutely no time eating you out and laps at your pussy like a starving man. you can't bear to look at him anymore, the obscene noises of him slurping causing your face to burn with embarrassment.

you can't help but push back against his face much to his delight. you can feel his beard scratching against you, as delicious as you imagined. the friction of him smothering his face into you is making you whimper and moan helplessly. you wish you could grasp onto him or close your thighs, but this position and being completely at his disposal makes it all the more hotter.

he smacks kisses on your clit, sucking and rolling the sensitive nub around with his tongue. one particular harsh suck where he tugs on your clit ever so gently with his teeth has you coming on his face. he keeps going until you're squirming and begging him to stop.

he pulls away from you almost remorsefully. "thanks for the meal, babe," he says, wiping his mouth. something that would have otherwise made you cringe in disgust if it didn't come from him.

"ready for my cock, sweet girl?" he asks.

you can only murmur out a "mhm" as you were already too fucked out to verbalize anything.

he just laughs at your disposition. "don't get too tired on me yet, sweetheart, i still have so much planned for you."

the clinking of metal gets you excited all over again. he pushes into you with a groan. "fuckin' tight like a vice," he curses.

he thrusts into you experimentally, gaging your reaction for which angle makes you moan the loudest. when he finds the right one, he picks up the tempo instantly. your room is filled with the noises of his balls smacking against your ass, his grunts and your incessant moaning. he wraps a hand in your hair and the other rests on your hip for leverage.

"you like that, baby? like the feeling of me inside you?" steve asks you teasingly but you can barely respond. "fuck, you feel so good around me. my good girl."

"please, let me come," you whine desperately, bucking your hips backwards so it meets his thrusts.

"i will, honey, i will."

suddenly he flips you over so you're on your back and bends your legs in half. the manhandling is an added bonus. "i want you to look at me when you come, okay?"

"okay..." you mumble, letting him use your pussy for whatever he pleases at this point.

one specifically hard and calculated thrust has you reeling. your orgasm is definitely in sight. you can feel your stomach begin to coil, ready to snap.

"mr. raglan!" you draw out the syllables of his name, signifying you're close.

"ngh — keep calling me that, honey, it's so fuckin' hot."

you can feel him close as well as his grunts and groans grow louder and his thrusts get more erratic and shallow. he decides to drill into you even harder for the sake of your own orgasm, making you almost scream out his name as you squeeze your eyes shut and come.

he pulls out before he finishes and beckons you over to him. "suck me dry, baby. want you to taste yourself on me when i come."

tiredly, you sit up and take is cock into your mouth. since he's already close he takes the initiative to thrust into your mouth while you gag around him. the noises you're making only add to his arousal.

he's grunting incoherent dirty praises, about how good and tight your mouth feels, and how you're such a good girl for him. he comes with one final, drawn out groan as he throws his head back. spurts of his ejaculate shoot down your throat and you try your best to swallow what he gives you, but some dribble down your chin.

you pull your mouth off of him and he brings his lips to your for another kiss, licking the remnants of his orgasm from your lips and chin. when you pull away breathlessly he's grinning from ear to ear.

"so good f'me," he compliments sweetly, making you smile.

maybe hurricane isn't so bad after all.

[poeticallyspiteful]

Hi hi can you do a Luke x reader fic where Luke falls in love with a human reader like one day he had to go out from camp and sees her and it’s like love at first sight and so some days he visits her but then disappears for like what seems like months and reader gets tired of it cause she feels like she barely knows anything about him and confronts him abt it but he doesn’t know what to say cause he can’t tell her he’s a Demi god?? Can you make it super angsty and you can decide how it ends sorry if this was confusing🙈🙈

soulmates, right?

luke castellan x reader

angst

summary: you and luke are supposed to be soulmates, but for demigods, good things can never last— or live.

cw: sad ending, kinda graphic descriptors, vomit, mentions of unintentional self harm?? (scratching and bruising in one’s sleep), so much angst dude

notes: so i went MIA and left this in my drafts cause i thought it was bad but i guess it’s not actually that bad. enjoy 💗

“i don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

luke’s heart stopped— stopped beating, stopped pumping blood, stopped keeping the rest of his organs functioning as he felt himself shut down.

“w-what?” he stammered, clambering towards his girlfriend, his love, his everything, on a hardly working pair shaking legs.

she sat— beautifully, might he add— on the edge of the cliff where he’d first met her and she looked just as perfect as she did back then.

wild flowers gathered around her, so carefully and which such individual purpose that if he didn’t know better, he’d think she was a daughter of demeter herself.

as much as he hated being a half blood, he found himself wishing she somehow, secretly was.

that would make everything so much easier.

“you’re hiding things from me.” she didn’t even seem fazed yet every word you said, every second she spent looking out at the forest instead of at him, was like a knife to the gut. “you haven’t been honest with me, luke, and i don’t like liars.”

luke felt his jaw creak from the way it hung on its hinges, and he found his knees finally giving in as he sunk to the ground just behind her.

“no, no, no, i’m sorry,” he whispered, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her hand. “please, darling, you have to believe me. i’ve never wanted to keep anything from you, i don’t have a choice.”

because how could he ever explain it?

she’d think he was insane.

son of hermes.

greek gods and monsters and dead girls turned into trees.

she’d think he was absolutely out of his mind.

she laughed softly, shaking her head. “i really, really wish i believed you.”

she pulled yourself up off the ground on slow and steady feel and before he could think about it, luke was wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back towards him like a life raft in a stormy sea. he sat on his knees, cheek pressed against the soft flesh of her stomach, his tears slowly bleeding into her shirt.

“i’m sorry, i’m so, so sorry,” he whispered, clinging to her for dear life because for all he knew, this was the last time he’d ever see her. the last time he’d get to touch her or hold her or hear her voice.

but that wasn’t right. no, she was his soulmate, and weren’t soulmates supposed to stay together forever?

“luke, please let me go.”

he felt his gut wrench, like something was trying to crawl out of him, and he choked on a sob.

“please, i’m so sorry,” he begged, holding onto her tighter as he felt her shift. he knew he should let her go— that it was her choice and that he deserved this— but he couldn’t help but hold on just a moment longer.

he wanted to memorize the way she felt too soft and pure for the world, the way she smelled, like honey and fruit. he wanted to memorize every part of she before he lost it all.

“luke—”

“i love you,” he blurted out, finally looking up and trying desperately to find her gaze. “i know i am so wrong to keep things from you and i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, but i love you more than i’ve ever loved anything and i can’t just let you go.”

when she fell silent, it almost gave luke hope— that was until he felt her hands firm on his shoulders, pushing him firmly, yet carefully, off of her.

“i’m sorry, luke, but i can’t see you anymore.”

luke didn’t leave his cabin for three weeks after that lovely afternoon, when she ripped his heart right out of his chest and threw it off that cliff.

he sat on the cliffside until the sunset, and he cried and cried and cried until the sky started crying back at him, pelting rain drops mixing with the tears. it was almost cinematic— something he might have appreciated if he wasn’t so broken.

he felt a pain in his chest that he’d never experienced before, and while he had to assume is was from the gaping hole she’d left behind after her sudden departure, it was unlike anything he’d ever imagined before.

finally, with swollen eyes and a soar throat, he stumbled back to camp half blood and into the hermes cabin. he fell into his bed and laid there, motionless, until the morning came.

over the next three weeks, he only got up to use the bathroom, choke down some food, or to give chris a short explanation of his behavior.

“there’s a mortal girl,” he muttered, struggling to swallow a bite of porridge. “i love her— she left me— and i’m here.”

chris sympathized with his brother, but he learned very quickly that luke did not want to talk about her.

so he didn’t.

until a month later.

“luke, buddy— i have to tell you something,” christ said lowly, looking oddly grey for such a nice day.

luke hummed, absentmindedly folding laundry, seeming completely devoid of life.

“they— uh— they found a mortal girl in the woods this morning,” chris whispered, approaching him slowly from behind like a rabid animal he was scared to startle for fear of being attacked. “they said she must have been sneaking around the camp’s border and some sort of monster got her.”

lukes hands stopped, the orange camp shirt sitting limply in his hands.

“no,” he replied, sternly, refusing to glance up at his brother. he just stared at the shirt, burning holes in the fabric with his eyes, like maybe if he burnt the shirt it would burn the half blood out of him too. “that’s—that’s impossible, why would a mortal girl be snooping around that close to camp?”

he knew why. of course he knew why, he just didn’t want to say it.

“she… she had something in her hand,” chris choked out, reaching out with a shaking fist, and dropping something in lukes lap.

if luke thought he’d given up before, that was nothing compared to what he felt when his camp necklace, which he’d given to you 9 months prior, fell back into his possession with a rattle.

he couldn’t even check to see if those spots were dirt or dried blood before he felt his vision growing fuzzy, and suddenly, he was scrambling off of his bed and to the nearest trash can.

he hurled up the breakfast he’d barely even eaten, but his body kept trying to reject something that was inside of him. he thought he might actually puke up his guts.

you were trying to find him.

you must’ve followed him.

right to the camp.

right to your death.

it was all his fault.

“luke, you have to breath.” it was chris at his shoulder, wrapping a strong arm around his middle to pull him back to the bed. luke didn’t even realize he’d been crying until he saw chris grabbing the tissues and sitting down across from him on the bed.

“she can’t— it can’t be her,” luke whispered, glancing between chris and the bloodied necklace. “she can’t be gone, chris. she can’t— she— i love her, she can’t leave me.”

chris bit his tongue so hard he thought it would bleed; he couldn’t tell him. he couldn’t look his brother in the eye and tell him a truth that would result in an unraveling that would never end.

he couldn’t bare the news that left luke a torn up heap of flesh and bone with no heart or soul.

he couldn’t bring down his brothers world with just a few words about a girl that he had never even met alive, that he couldn’t ever grieve the way luke undoubtedly will.

he couldn’t.

but he did.

“she’s gone, luke.”

another month later, luke started having strange dreams.

for the longest time after her death, luke had nightmares about the monster that killed her; they said it was difficult to say, since her body was mangled and worn by the elements, so his mind just made up a new one every time.

a minotaur.

a fury.

a hellhound.

a harpy.

his father— that one had some kick to it.

every night was another rerun of her death.

the only part that was never rewritten was that luke was watching, helpless at the sidelines, unable to save her. he screamed, he cried, fought so hard against invisible restraints that he’d wake up with scratches and bruisers from head to toe, but it never changed.

you died, he watched, and he woke up.

that was, until, one night when a deep voice broke through her screams and his cries, and the forest disappeared in a sea of darkness.

there was only him.

and that deep, looming voice.

[circe-butbetter]

maoe rj8sthe utnro pist

seems to be a popular demand so alright☝️

Welcome to my blog cunts and bitches /lh

My name is Jana, or circe call me either idm

carrd

poly, bisexual,

Hashtag apart of @eef--stars zoo hashtag @garden-of-runar 's bat hashtag matching themes with @definitionoffuckup hashtag i need to make a pronouns page hashtag what else am i?

BIGGEST GREEN APPLE HATER ON THIS BLOCK🗣🗣💯

Decorate my tree!💞

📷 || 📍 || 🎵 || 🎧 || click for palestine ||

@garden-of-runar <3 my darling btw (if you couldnt tell)

More about me!

Interests: marauders, five nights at freddies, Greek mythology, deranged old stories, gory books or gory shows, cannibalism as a concept/metaphor, murder massacres, true crime, fun facts, outer banks, the hunger games, human rights, politics, music, shameless, arcane ,I'll add when I think of more

Dislikes: uhh lowk idk you guys tell me idk myself

Hates: GREEN FUCKING APPLES. GREEN APPLES

my people <3

@garden-of-runar my platonic partner, my sun, my poet, the melody to my kuromi, the bunny to my fox, the remus/james to my sirius, the loml (/p) ITS RUNAR GUYS RAHHH chaotic but wonderful nonetheless 💞💞💞 meeting them was a pleasure and honor🗣 andandandnad guys you need to check runar out she's a wonderful person to know (#chaotic gardens of deer and bunnies. (Check out the tag I made for him ))

@starkissed-mars UGH MARS I LOBE MARS AND I LORV TALKING TO MARS mars is lowk freakiest person I've met, one of my favorite people on here HI MARSSS HI MAZZY☝️☝️, hashtag freakymars who? Hehehehehehrh has some issues but he's so wonderful its insane EVERYONE SAY WE LOEBF TOU MARS❗️

@definitionoffuckup AL❗️❗️ AL ALLEY HI AL al is wonderful and amazing and lowkey kinda scary sometimes with absolute no sense of Internet safety but they're wonderful anyways, also one of my favorites on here I lobe al sosososo much guys you should go check them out

@eef-stars ETHANN our local furry, music taste that lowkey gives me whiplash, I'm sosososososo glad I met him and he really is fucking amazing, lowk older brother core, MAJOR LOVERBOY SYNDROME it's insanely adorable

@kawaiibarty FUCKING MASTER AT WRITING GUYS GO CHECK OUT HIS FICS THEYRE AMAZING, so deranged I'm lowk scared of him/j, JAMES IS SO POOKIE LOWK GUYS also also one of my favorites on here I'm very glad I met him he really is fantastic and that is a FACT, also major loverboy syndrome those two are so gay

@fkufather TWIN WHERE HABE YOU BEEN, guys thats js barty, no joke it's just barty, barty crouch jr who? Lowk twin, his existence strangles me from the inside out/j, your still on my blog ☹️💞

@seekmemystar UGH SO WISE, hashtag itar for president GUYSSSS ITAR IS WONDERFUL ANDANDAND she's a wonderful friend and wonderful person and has a highk amazing humour and she's someone you should 100% check out, B&B GUYS☝️☝️

@hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe HERSHEYEYEYDHDUDB I LOBE HERSHEY THEYRE WODNERFUL AND THEY MATCH MY MORBIDNESS AND LOWK IF THEY WENT INSANE I WOULDNT BE SUPRISED? anyways guys hershey is amazing

@cheekyboybeth THE CHAPPEL TO MY OLIVIA, guys this is ugh I have no words to describe them I lobe juno sososososksosoksososos much and and I'm sosososososososos glad ive met them and and and they're literally an evan rosier variant idc but juno is lit wonderful and is a great friend and waited wonderful fics

@here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHR GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOBE TALKING TI THEM, LIKE THE WAY MY FACE LIGHTS UP IN GENUINE JOU WHEENEVER I SEE THEM AROUND, bomb music taste literally amazing, they're amazing in general, everything about them is amazing, literally the embodiment of cool ™

@gasolinehornet NOAH OMG NOAH I CAN LITERALLY NEVER SHUT UP ABT NOAH, most out of pocket person I've met but I love talking with him either way, he's such a sweetheart at heart and he's a wonderful person to know, also has a bomb music taste.

@thestrawberryapologist MARI oh my god guys guysguys please you dont understand mari is the sweetest cutest person alive talking to her literally makes my day- told me she thinks she should have a tw for talking to her but i literally do not believe that she could say the most horrendous thing every and id still go 💞💞💞🎀💞 mari is so wonderful and everything about her is so wonderful and mari quite literally deserves the world (ask me to elaborate and i will) major sister vibes GUYS IDK I JUST LOBE MARI

@insertmatsbloghere UH MAT☝️☝️ GUYS a literal embodiment of sunset, literal embodiment of summer too☝️☝️ I have not known mat for a long long time but am very glad ive met him, he's a very nice person lowk and so fun to talk to and very funny guys lowklowk

@thatoneslytherinnerd bartys brain BUT ALSO SOSOSOSOS MUCH MORE THAN THAT, a wonderful person that I have not known for long but am honored to know nonetheless

@sotiredimbored KUKOOO literally the sweetest person ever ever ever kuko is amazing and kuko deserves the world handed to them on a pretty platter with a bow because you are simply that fantastic. The smell after rain tinged with the color purple and light yellow laced through it sitting in a forest filled with butterflies core.

@the-stars-drowning RORRYYY RAHHHHHHHH LIT SUCH A CUTIE PIE AND SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON AND A FELIGHT TO BE AROUND AND TALK TO AND DO WHATEVER WITH AND ANYTHING WITH ALSO VERY COOL

@crowofthestars KAIII HELLO tortures me with green apples lowk but is such a fucking vibe. LIKE I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT THIS DUDE IS SUCH A VIBE INTERACTING IEHT KAI IS SUCH A REGRESH EVEN UF WE'RE FUGHTING OVER GREEN APPLES KAI IS AMAZING🗣🗣 we don't interact as much as I'd like and I'd love to interact with kai more lowk BUT THEYRE WONDERFUL NONTHELESS AND HAVE A BOMB TASTE IN BOOKS

TELL ME IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED OR REMOVED PLEASE❗️❗️❗️

Moodboards (will link here)

[widowlurker]

rambling about catws!Bucky because time is a flat circle

Lowkey tough being a Bucky stan (hehe) out here bc atp the mcu just doesn’t know what to do with him and it’s absolutely tragic because catws is a great movie and a huge part of that is how beautifully they presented the Winter Soldier. Like he is undeniably (personally don’t @ me) the best part of that whole movie. Last time I went this insane over analyzing actors’ facial expressions was the hunger games and that’s basically the peak of fiction for me. So, here’s me doing exactly that

warning: no beta we die like my vocal chords watching catws for the first time

Something that sits at the forefront in my mind abt Seb’s acting as the Winter Soldier is how good he is at being blank. Normally when I think of blank, no thoughts head empty acting it’s just a completely unmoveable demeanor and from what I see in fics it’s a common interpretation that the Winter Soldier is just an empty husk. And while he’s definitely a lot less sentient than he seems to be in the comics I don’t think he’s as robotic as people like to write about (and how I like to read abt so dw this isn’t me trashing on that).

I read a post on here that was either a meta or rant that I def reblogged but don’t feel like looking for that was either or about or mentioned how the Winter Soldier is def a powerhouse but that’s just a building that was made from the frame of Bucky’s own combat skills from the war.

I think his sentience is somewhat similar to that in how he isn’t so much as an empty bodyguard and more like a tunnel-visioned fighter. His mind isn’t a blank slate in a body that’s blindly committing violence but a constantly calculating fighter (a trait I also think was just built off of Bucky’s own violent skills derived from the war) whose mind is occupied only by whatever violence he’s committing.

Seb’s facial expressions as the winter soldier present this well. Again, when you think of the empty husk the Winter Soldier is you’d expect little personality and emotion to be acted out as that character. The thing is, he’s not an empty husk. Seb does a good job at having existent and moving facial expressions without any real human emotion being shown by them. When the Winter Soldier furrows his brows as he fights or thoughtfully looks offscreen when he pulls off his goggles(?) in the lead up to the reveal he’s only expressing the slightest bit of acknowledgement to whatever is happening. Particularly, usually in fight scenes when people do the former it’s to make the character look mad or determined. When the Winter Soldier does it it’s just there. Sebastian manages to move his face in ways that should indicate fully-felt emotions but still only add up to a blank face.

Perhaps in that way the Winter Soldier is somewhat robotic not in the way of an emotionless android but rather an intelligent algorithm.

so, blah blah blah Sebastian is really good at acting blank. But what about when the Winter Soldier does show emotion. Disclaimer that in my rewatch I only saw the highway fight/reveal and the helicarrier, not when Fury and Steve get attacked in his apartment. With this, the first time I believe we see the Winter Soldier breaking out of the emotionless mask is the cute little bout of panic he has shortly after the mask/muzzle comes off, when his eyes get big and be looks off in a way unlike before where instead of it being the slightest indication of thought and strategy it’s a genuine feeling of panic and confusion. This is very much in contrast to moment before after he asks who the hell Bucky is and shoots at Steve. He says the words, but that’s it. His face doesn’t move to accommodate any sort of emotion any normal person would be feeling when they said that sentence. His mouth simply moves as he asks (though the blankness is still broken by then because I have doubts the 100% Winter Soldier would ever take the time or express the confusion that’d come with asking that question). Immediately after he clicks back into reality and the mission at hand when he shoots at Steve he doesn’t return to his before blankness. His eyebrows furrow and this time it’s not simply an unconscious physical result of being focused or whatever but he’s genuinely confused and desperately trying to follow what he’s being made to do. Up until that point, not once does the Winter Soldier bother to halt anything he’s doing in a fight if not necessary. This is the first time he personally hesitates.

And then the helicarrier scene. Oh lord almighty the blessed helicarrier scene. By here the Winter Soldier is back to Winter Soldier-ing, blank and emotionless no matter what movement his face makes. And he stays like that for the entire pre-fight pleading Steve’s doing in that bridge(?) thing. UNTIL Steve says “please don’t make me do this”

Now I noticed this in my rewatch yesterday and then while I was rewatching the scene on yt to write this I fought for my life trying to figure out which cut to Bucky in that convo in which he does it, so I damn-near thought i hallucinated it. But I swear to god his head tilts down and his eyebrows go up. It’s similar to the facial movements he does before when he’s full Winter Soldier where his face moves but it doesn’t indicate any actual emotion being felt. This time however it just somehow does. He’s pleading, for what I literally cannot think of but his face moves only slightly and it somehow spreads the full feeling throughout his entirety. In the next cut after that he doesn’t have that same emotion, but it was there.

From then on the curtain is ripped. Now Bucky fights and he scrunches up his face and all of the sort and he’s not only expressing emotion but he’s doing it so blatantly. So blatantly in fact that I can tell he seems to feel almost desperate.

Remember earlier when I mentioned that not once does the Winter Soldier bother to halt himself unless necessary to survey the situation or something the sort. Yeah, none of that is here. He’s unbelievably sloppy, not as fast and hit-for-hit with Steve as he was during the highway/reveal. And throughout the fight he only gets slower and slower, his face scrunches and moves more and more., and he wastes more and more time talking and trying to make Steve suffer and feel how he’s getting hit as if to prove to something or someone that he’s not succumbing to the memories bubbling up inside him and straying from his mission.

Until finally Steve says “I’m with you til the end of the line” and fandom was never the same

and neither was Bucky, because despite the fact that his luscious locks are blowing all over the damn place, all over his face, we see down to the atom what he’s feeling. It’s the Winter Soldier’s end of the line, and now Bucky is here to get fucked over by the mcu’s writing.

Again, catws is my favorite mcu movie in terms of acting and writing and the reason why is because they did so well at writing such a horribly tragic victim. I stay saying that Seb is one of the best actors in the mcu and the reason why is because of how agonizing his performance of the winter soldier’s mental turmoil is. So why on God’s green Earth is the mcu so intent on making some bullshit atonement plotline (or a poor attempt at showcasing Bucky’s internal guilt that comes off as an atonement plotline, depends on who you ask) and throwing him in with anti-heroes/villains when it really doesn’t fit what his arc should be AT ALL???

anyway god bless Sebastian for being damn-good at acting out agony

[definitelynotshouting]

TJ OMFG. I FINALLY RECOVERED FROM SCAR WIN ONLY FOR YOU TO DROP *THAT*!! WTF

Holy fucking shit that win had me so ecstatic. Ive been wanting a Scar win for AGES. He deserves this so much man went absolutely insane

Also your fic. Beautiful but also *head in hands* them 🥺🥺 <33

-☀️

SCAR WIN MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL ITS LIKE THE MF POSSESSED ME

Okay the funniest thing abt the fic i wrote this morning is that i legit dreamed it before ever seeing Scar won. I was dozing and trying to get some more sleep and the scene where Grian says "I've hurt you a lot, Scar" and Scar replies "I know" just sprung fully formed in my brain like fuckign. Athena, good gods. Woke up like "fuck man i gotta jot this down" AND I HAD BEEN TAGGED IN SCAR WIN......... if i had a FUCKING NICKEL.

Im so happy rn fr like i just cant even process it and all the art is GOLD ohhghhb im so excited Scar win my beloved my cinnamon apple, i cherish this forever theres something so crazy bittersweet about him finally joining the ranks

[yakool-foolio]

SORRY but like i want to say things cuz im actually insane over that fic sorry. i went into it not expecting anything specific altho i did see the yomi tag so i was already kind of like :raisedeyebrowemoji: but whtever so i jst started reading. and the way the realization hit me like OH THIS IS THE YOMI POSSESSES VIVIA FIC THEY WERE TALKING ABT FUCK. like i wasnt prepared why would u do that to me i gasped irl......... anyway it was rlly good... everything abt it ! yomi talking abt the blank week, all the dialogue in general,, vivia and yakous blood mixing thats such a cool detail... also im like going over it again now tht i know its yomi talking through viv and its like a completely different feeling now AUGH fantastic job im eating this up

(In reference to Solar Eclipse)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVE RAMBLING ABOUT MY SILLY THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND MY WRITING WOOOOOOO!

You cannot believe the restraint I had to put on myself to not share anything about my progress on this story before it was published. I had the initial idea post and the 'man I really wanna write about this now' reblog but that was mainly it (except for the one time I shared the tiniest tidbit of a sentence using funny wordplay, but I never clarified what it was for). Otherwise, there were absolutely no previews cause I knew that practically anything could've been a dead giveaway for the plot. I didn't wanna soil the potential surprise, so I forced myself to keep it under lock n key. I had zero idea what the reception for this fic would be like, so I'm very glad to see it paid off and got some fun reactions! It's cool to hear that you got some re-readability outta it, too!

Also, I'll let ya in on the underlying theme of this story that I haven't seen anyone bring up yet. So, as we all know, Yomi sics his goons on anyone that opposes him, keeping his pristine record of not laying a hand on a single corpse. But in this fic, Yomi actually takes initiative and dirties himself up! Well... not exactly. He's in the body of Vivia, after all. He puppeteered the detective to seek vengeance for the betrayal that sealed his fate during the Blank Week. Yomi, original and homunculus, has always painted the blood of his enemies on someone else's hands.

[lokissweater]

HONEY ILL ALWAYS COME BACK FROM WAR JS FOR YOUUUU 🫵😣💕 like im tryna show off in war to come home to my wife duh like that’s my sole purpose 😻😻😻

(LET ME PREFACEEEEE THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ASK BC IM RESPONDING TO UR RESPONSE TEWWW AND GIVING MY THOTS ON ANNI GUMIIIIIII)

KENTO TAKING CARE OF READER WHILE SHES EXHAUSTED IS SO CUTEEEE (but not exhausted for that knight in shining armor’s sword tho iykyk 😜😜😜) he can spank us all he wants bc he’s a GOOD MAN 😋😋😋

THANK YOU FOR SEEING THE VISION ON EX SUKUNA POOKIE?!?!?! LIKE bro had us and decided to fck around and find out and now we exes, and now he want us back bc he’s down bad and YEARNINNNNGGGGGGG 😣😣😣 either it was emotional constipation (I can totes see this) or some external factor that tore them apart 🙁💔 but like it’s his fault in the end, I’m not taking other answers. Mans needs to GROVEL!!!! 😻😻😻 and band!gojo, he’s so charming… #romanempirefr and THANK YOU FOR THE STRONG READER AGENDA BC GIRLIE NEEDS A BACKBONE TO PUT THAT BITCH INTO PLACE 🫵😋

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, IKKKKKKK you’ll COOK on new au gumi dhekjdowmeke alr drooling thinking abt it 🤤🤤🤤 imagine there’s a caseoh cameo in one of ur fics, I’d cackle tbh (GAMER AU WITH A CHARACTER AND THEY COLLAB W THE CUTESY GINGER HUNK?!?!?! 🫵😻) DONT GET ME STARTED ON MY APPRECIATION TO THE UNIVERSE TO LET ME EXIST AT THE SAME TIME AS YOU TO READ YOUR FICS GIRLLLL 😣😣😣😣😣💕💕💕💕💕💕 I exist solely to read ur fics, period. 😋💕

———————

I STARTED SOBBING WHEN I READ ANNI MLB!GUMI BC IT HEALED SMT WITHIN ME���

tldr, I acc have an ex from hs, lasted around 3 years and 4 months so very close to the fic, I had to do a fcking double take girl 😨😨😨 I had a similar experience too abt the money thing, bro was kinda well off but only bought/paid for things that also benefitted him (ie dinner or buying me in game cosmetics for a game I don’t play much, js to force me online despite me not liking that game anymore) 😕😕😕

ANYWAYS, GUMI WOULD NEVERRRR LIKE MANS KNEW WHAT TF TO BUY FOR READER???? WITHHOUT EXPECTING MUCH BACK??? I STARTED BAWLING NICKIIIII 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 their relationship is so insanely healthy and sweet and cute and gosh. I can imagine that he has notes on what she likes and writes in them over the span of their relationship 🥹🥹🥹 and the friendship between the 4 idiots is always so fun to read, the dynamic is SOOOOOO CHEFS KISS 😣🎀 I fear bff would even ask her own man Yuji to judge reader’s outfit so she can get ready for her steamy sesh w gumi 😜😜 (but ofc hedgehog over here would go feral 😹😹)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR WEEK MY LOVEEEE 🫵😣💕💕💕 I need to catch back up on sleep bc I’ve been studying for finals :(

- 🎀

BAHAHAHAHAHAH NO LITERALLY reader was a little whore for kento and was too tired to walk and be responsible, but she up and running and alert for that poised respectable cawk!!! 😝😝 AND AS SHE MF SHOULD !!! 🫦🫦 i am no better…. SOMEONE COME SPANK ME 😻😻

NOOOO BECAUSE MY BABY BLUE BOWS you don’t understand how genius you are for that concept of sir kuna and exes to lovers i actually started fucking vibrating and going crazy THINKING of the desperation he’s under for reader and so much REGREEEETTTTTT and trying to hard to get her back that it’s eating him absolutely ALIVE !!! his dignity is out the window and he’s smothering and DEMANDING reader to please just listen to him and give him a chance 🫦🫦🫦 I LOVE A BEGGING FUCKING MAN OK ARREST MEEEEE !!! ARREST MEEEEE I LOVE IT WHEN MEN CRY 😻🫶🫶🫶 meow meow

so i WILL be writing this i promise yew my love congratulations you just got sukuna on a foreseeable rotation 🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶 MWAAHHHH I LOVE YOUR BRAIN ❤️❤️❤️❤️ AND BIIITCHHH IM CRYING A MF CASEOH CAMEO IN THE FICS IS SOOO FUNNNYYYYY I HAVE TO DO IT !!!!

AND OMFFFGGGGG GIRLLLLLL YOU AND I ARE SIMILAR AAAAFFFFFFF !!! i cannot believe my precious little baby bows went through that shit ESPECIALLY when that mf was well off ??? HELLO ???? WHERE THE FLOWERS THAT YOU DESERVE AT AND THE JUST BECAUSE GIFTS ???? NOT giving you shit that’s beneficial to him oh my god are you fucking kidding me rn … let’s not be lame please dear god.

let’s just say i was writing those scenarios based off of personal experience … BUT I DIGRESS !!! i hope you’re happier now my baby and just KNOWWWW … that i could treat you better 🫦🫦 AYO WHAT??? 😝😝😝 LMFAO WTF idk who just said that rn that was so weird !😻

AND I KNOOOOWWWWWWW GUMI IS SO FUCKING HEALING FOR ME BRO that man just KNOWS. watches readers every move and makes sure that she’s happy with him and makes CONSTANT mental notes in his head every time he hears even a GUSP from reader 🥹🫶🫶 new mary jane pumps just dropped ???? and yes she has five other pairs (from him already) but it’s a different color she doesn’t have ??? and did she just slightly gasp but then hide it bc omg she already has so many pairs she needs to stop ???

gumi just nods to himself. 😻 gumi makes a note of it and tucks it away for later. 😻 gumi goes to buy said shoes the next week. 😻

AND YEEESSSSS I LOVE THE FOUR OF THEM SOOOO FUCKING MUCH WRITING THEM IS ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAAAVVVV THINGS TO DOOOOO !!!! they’re so stupid and i love the fights 😻😻🫶🫶 AND THE WAY yuji would be so focused too in trying to pick a good outfit for steamy sesh and reader is MORTIFIED about it and they both genuinely do not see what the issue is 😭😭😭😭 parents af 😻🫶

I LOOOVEEEE YOUUU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU MY BABY BLUE BOWS THANK YOU SOOOOO MUUUCHHHH FOR COMING TO VISIT ME AND MAKING ME LAUGH AND MAKING ME NOT GO FAWKIN CRAZY BC OF MY STUDIESS !!!! 😝😝😝 PLEASE have the GREATEST rest of your week my love you DESERVE IT !!!! please take care and stay safe and look both ways before you cross the street !!! :33 <3333

AND YES CATCH UP ON THAT BEAUTY REST PLEASE !!!! I NEED TO HEAR YOU HONK SHOOING !!!!!! 😻😻😻

MWAH MWAH TILL WE MEET AGAIN !!! <333

[bombshelllblonde]

hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha

¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!

hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭

also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier

in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋

bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby

dress up is my seconf favorite hobby

my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman

(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)

this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote

"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."

is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing

also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad 

ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one

im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games

anyways

tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)

ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever

micah is a bastard and i dont like him

him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️

my favorite characters rn in no particular order is

arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran

my pookies ‼️‼️

moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao

anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff

(in rdr btw)

((true story also))

yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!

my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3

also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3

i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')

Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.

my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!

a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.

i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))

i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would

[ficyorick]

I really love the dynamic between Butcher and Kessler in your writing. It’s a bit like *Fight Club*—chaotic and captivating. Sorry if my focus shifted, but it’s truly something special—this is exactly how I imagined Butchler!! I’m impressed by how well you’ve portrayed every character, even though they aren’t part of the main ship.Thank you so much for it! I really mean it. Can't wait to see more. Any chance we’ll get to see more of Butchler in the future?

OH ITS ABSOLUTELY LIKE FIGHT CLUB... you know when i set out to write this fic kessler was just going to be a vague antagonist to push the plot forward, like i didn't care much for his motivations and such (i think u can see that in ch1, he's very flat there, just sort of taunting billy a little bit), but as i went on writing, their dynamic became very very interesting to me

i rly like stories about, like. intruders taking over ur body, stories about having to live with a sort of supernatural force (or sci-fi, in this case i suppose) in your brain/soul/body and you have to expel it somehow--but maybe you actually start to make peace with it, you two learn to coexist etc etc ive ALWAYS loved stories like that so that's where ive gravitated towards with kessler and i rly didn't care much for him in s4 but now im like THIS GUY RULESSSS, SHOW ME MOREEEE

with kessler i think theres an additional nuance of him taking care of billy, protecting him--but at the same time, he is a cancer tumor. he is killing billy no matter what, his presence causes harm to his host but he still wants billy to go along with his plan, kill all supes etc. in my head, kessler really does care about billy, he views him as wasted potential and just wants him to realize this massive potential (doesn't matter if that potential is related to killing people). i like to think that all those deals he makes with billy are his way of rationalizing his subconscious guilt about killing him. like, he knows he's the intruder here, he knows he's not a real person but he didn't ask to be manifested like this

in bad ending specifically, kessler is absolutely jealous of the attention homelander is getting, he doesn't understand why billy just wont let go... but that's the thing abt billy, he doesn't let people go. that's why kessler looks like a man from his past. i think he has love for billy and that love is expressed in the way he takes care of him, pushes him towards this goal that billy won't admit he wants, but its okay, kessler will sort it out for him. i also added a massive brainfuck element to kessler (he's fully able to just tweak and erase his memories) but i felt like its on theme with what he demonstrated in the show already .

all in all, writing for kessler has been SUUUCH a pleasant surprise, i really didn't expect it. like i genuinely love writing this guy lmfao i save the best zingers for him. i rly liked his 'reverse stockholm syndrome' line LMFAO . i didn't even consider butchler before writing it (except for a few fics i saw there and there about mutual jerking off which rules of course) but there's also . so much unhealthy potential here, its insane. and imagine if the Real Kessler from billys past was someone he was in a relationship in... imagine....

AND TO ANSWER UR QUESTION.... i didnt consider it but wough... im imagining writing a short chapter from kesslers pov and it is very interesting to me.... thinking about unrequited love from kesslers perspective... getting into his thought process, what his life actually looks like as a fauckin tumor inside someones head... the neurons are firing a little bit i must say

[actual-bill-potts]

hi! i just wanted to drop by and say, i think your last prompt fic rewired the chemistry in my brain. i've been rotating that interaction between finarfin and olwe in my mind for hours now. that's probably the best take i saw on them & and on why finarfin didn't return immediately after the first kinslaying. that was amazing and your writing is wonderful

also i'm in love with your "and all our towers cast down" fic, with your portrayal of finrod and his trauma, it's honestly fascinating

hope you're having a good day/night <3

omg tysm for this incredibly kind message!!!! it literally made my entire day. tbh i didn't expect much of a response to that ficlet bc it was such a struggle to write - Aegnor and Angrod are not characters I think about often and Alqualondë is so odd narratively to me bc it feels like it should be a major turning point for everyone but it kind of...isn't? So this was my best attempt at making it make sense in my own mind. I need to write a full meta post on the subject soon haha to put my thoughts in order. I'm so glad you liked it!! Though I don't really write about them much, Olwë and Finarfin are such interesting characters to me so I'm glad they came through properly.

And thank u so so much!! i have absolutely adored writing towers, it's so much fun to explore the character dynamics and really dive into leithian and make everyone's choices make more sense in my own brain. in my mind finrod's death is really what sealed the doom of nirnaeth, cuz politically fingon lost so much with finrod. so i am really looking forward to exploring the ramifications of his survival and how the events of tol-in-gaurhoth affected him. i really see his role in leithian as him finally snapping and being like I'm going to help this person I love no matter the cost. I've always headcanoned that a big part of the reason he went to middle earth was to support both the nolofinwions and his own people who loved feanor. and in middle-earth he's had to make the hard pragmatic choice so many times, between splitting from turgon pretty much forever, letting his brothers go to the front lines, sending balan's people to the front lines, constantly smoothing things over between the Fëanorions, the nolofinwions, the doriathrim, the bëorians, and the laiquendi, and at the point of leithian he's just seen so much of that work burst into flames around him and he basically pulls a fingolfin. he's like fuck what happens to me, fuck what happens to my kingdom: thingol is insane, two of my brothers are dead, pretty much all of balan's people that i worked so hard to help are dead except this one guy who is determined to go on a suicide mission. so im gonna help balan's descendant and no one can stop me.

But now he's survived and he's going to have to reckon with...all of that...with fingon who just lost his father to a similar impulse, and with orodreth, and with himself. and of course sauron's mind games didn't help him any. so he's in a pretty bad headspace right now and is going to have to deal with a lot of the losses he's just been shoving away and not looking at up until now.

Anyway sorry for the ramble! I'm just very passionate abt this project lol.

Also, I know you like Finarfin, and this ask made literally my whole entire day, so here's a Finarfin+Finrod snippet for you! I hope you enjoy <3

That morning, Arafinwë's eldest son does not so much walk into the dining room as swim. He is encased in layers upon layers of swishing fabric that billow before and after him, making it necessary to sway carefully to avoid tripping; his hair, loosed and straightened, falls nearly to his feet, and keeps tangling about his knees; and he looks inordinately proud of himself.

Arafinwë glances at Eärwen in bewilderment, wondering if wardrobe-related madness is a symptom among the Returned that he has forgotten about. She looks just as confused as he feels, if significantly more amused.

"Good morning, Finrod!" he says aloud. "Er - is there a special occasion?"

Finrod moves carefully to his chair, then sweeps his massive skirts behind him, swiftly moves the chair out, and sinks into it with a whoosh. He looks up cheerfully.

"Good morning, Atya, Ammë!" he says, beaming. "No special occasion - this is cultural. It is the latest in Vanyarin fashion!"

"Is it?" Arafinwë asks weakly. "It seems - difficult to move in."

"Oh, yes," Finrod responds, grinning even wider. The effect, in conjunction with the sparkling, billowing skirts and tangled hair, is nearly blinding. "That's the point, you see! It is intended to emulate the care with which the Valar must move, encased in the forms they take to walk among us. I thought the idea was fascinating. And the fabrics they use are so beautiful!"

"Ah - that is indeed interesting," Arafinwë responds, wondering who among his mother's people he will have to take aside later for a quick word on not telling Finrod about Vanyar fads. "Surely it is not intended to go out in...?"

"Oh, but of course it is!" Finrod says. "I plan to go out to market as soon as we are done breakfasting, to experience the full effect. Would you like to come? It could be quite interesting."

"Alas, your mother and I must hold court soon after breakfast, and cannot join," Arafinwë says without much regret.

"You must tell us about the experience, though!" Eärwen chimes in, sounding as if she is suppressing laughter.

"Ah, very well," Finrod says cheerfully; and after he has breakfasted he does indeed rise carefully - barely snatching his garment away from the remnants of jelly on his plate before it can be stained - and swim out of the room.

Eärwen and Arafinwë look at each other and burst into laughter.

"The skirts!" Eärwen gasps, "The folds! It will take him an hour to exit the palace!"

"Oh dear," Arafinwë says at last, wiping his eyes. "Oh dear. Was he like this before?"

"He was!" Eärwen exclaims. "Do you remember, he used to creep into your father's closet and try on his best robes? Then he would swan about the halls, trying not to trip."

"I had forgotten," Arafinwë admits, a smile curving his lips, "but you are quite right. He always did love beautiful clothing. I only hope that his pursuit of high Vanyarin fashion will not send him home with a broken collarbone."

"It is so good to have our son home," Eärwen says abruptly. "Our children gave me such joy. I had nearly forgotten."

Arafinwë reaches across the table to take her hand. "It is," he agrees. The image of Finrod leaving the room, having to angle his hips to fit through the door and bundling his hair about himself so as not to trip, floats across his mind and he chuckles again. "Do you remember when bustles were all the rage, and Artanis got caught on a turn of the stairway? She was furious."

Eärwen's laughter is a welcome peal, more light of heart than he had heard in years. "As I recall, it was Finrod who convinced her of their merits in the first place."

"She did not take his advice on fashion again, after that!" Arafinwë agrees. He cannot stop smiling as he begins to gather up the breakfast things and neaten his own robes. It feels as if his heart is singing within him: Our son is home. He is home. He is home!

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

ik u never intended for this but in ur little peters jumping universes plot idea do u have any idea abt how does pete’s universe’s bucky react to there being ghost tours looking for him around nyc? if he goes back to nyc do people assume he’s a ghost? does he question how this rumor got started? what are the logistics of having a ghost tour to spot someone who’s literally a live human being with a job

it was actually intended in the sense that this exact matter was a plot point that I fully planned for in the fic but just didn’t mention in the post because i didn’t mention most of the plot points. It’s literally such a big fic. Y’all got maybe like 10% of it in extreme summary.

Context of things established earlier in the fic to make sense of how Pete’s Bucky is brought in:

Peter B’s Bucky and Steve are actually pretty established in Pete’s universe. They have no plans of leaving. Steve’s folks came over from Ireland on the boat and never fucking left and he doesn’t see why he can’t do the same with universes. They’re actually happier than ever here. They can get peace and heal and live the life they always wanted to before the war.

Peter B’s Steve is MCU!Sam Wilson’s biggest fan. He has a Twitter Stan account where he fights people on the internet over how amazing Sam is. He is the president of the Sam Wilson Captain America Fan Club. He just thinks he’s absolutely swell. He’s convinced Sam is the One True Captain America and is seriously considering finding the Sam from his home universe to pass the Captain America mantle onto him. As a note, Sam from Peter B’s universe is not involved in superhero shenanigans and is working at the VA having had no contact with the avengers ever. Steve’s genuinely planning what may as well be the plot of a wattpad self insert fanfic wherein living legend Captain America who went missing six months ago appears on your doorstep to tell you he thinks your amazing and pure of heart and needs you to bear his mantle. This is a terrible idea but it’s also a hilarious one so no one has told Steve to stop planning.

As mentioned in the last post, both just sort of got dumped in Matt’s apartment (he had the biggest apartment and also Matt was such a big idiot that it cut clean through Bucky’s hydra programming and violently activated his much deeper engrained The Fuck Did Steve Do Now instincts and he was more himself than ever when he was bitching Matt out for being a fucking moron. He can’t make him leave it’s basically therapy for him to stay with Matt he’s getting his memories back) and then refused to leave. Matt hates this deeply. Bucky won’t stop nagging him about his sleep schedule and Steve somehow keeps outdoing him in insanity. How the fuck do you outdo a blind vigilante who’s also an attorney who fights crime in an under armor tshirt. He appears to visibly hate them.

The thing is that Matt’s really in hell because Steve and Bucky live these horribly structured military lifestyles that are still somehow almost quaint and he’s trying to pull off sewer rat chic over here. He keeps finding them in his kitchen at 6am cooking big breakfasts so they can all get a good start to the day. Let him shuffle out the door with a granola bar and a broken rib like god intended.

Unfortunately he’s also the biggest slut in comics and he did sleep with both of them. This was a bad idea, like most of his ideas are. He’s horribly allergic to commitment (and in love with foggy) and did not think far enough ahead to realize that he can’t ghost two supersoldiers and strategic masterminds who are squatting in his apartment. Bucky hired himself to be Nelson, Murdock, & page’s secretary. He cannot fucking get rid of them and they keep asking him what they are.

So the thing is that, consistent with MCU’s take on the multiverse, there are some people who are identical to the other multiversal counterparts and some who look different. All of the Peters look different. Mr. Murdock is a slightly older version of Matt but is identical enough to pass as a twin. Peter P’s Matt (I forgot to mention he goes by “Red” here) looks similar but has red hair like in the comics and looks like the younger, angrier younger brother of the other Matts.

Peter B’s Steve is identical to Pete’s Steve except he dresses like a godless hipster. Peter B’s Bucky is also identical to Pete’s Bucky except he lost the other arm. They have made no efforts to disguise themselves.

Honestly the only reason why they have gotten away with this so far is because Steve Rogers is supposed to be dead and not a barista named Frodo and whenever anyone asks Bucky if he’s Bucky Barnes he takes off his glove and wiggles his flesh arm and says no, Bucky Barnes is missing an arm, they just look similar and no one ever asks to check the other arm. It keeps working when it shouldn’t.

Pete is referred to them both exclusively as Queens and they both adore him endlessly for reasons that have to do with how Bucky got free of hydra programming that would take way too long to summarize here. They just love that little guy and will punt someone over his continued safety.

Okay now for MCU!Bucky and Sam coming in:

The thing is the internet is full of really fucking stupid rumors and they don’t pay attention to most of them. Like, they’re busy people. They’re doing world saving stuff. Gossip rags and internet blogs will say anything. Last week some random site claimed that Sam was pregnant with Steve roger’s baby, which made zero sense. They briefly see it when Pete first starts perpetuating the rumor, think it’s just some random internet troll thing, and immediately forget it in favor of more important things.

Then the rumor grows and there’s ghost tours and someone asks them about it on the Tonight Show. Some people legitimately thought bucky was dead and he keeps having to correct them. This may be more serious than they thought.

The thing is that while "these are the ghosts of Captain America and Bucky Barnes, a man who is currently alive, haunting the streets of brooklyn" is obviously not what's going on, something is. there's absolutely two vigilantes operating in the area who are enhanced--and seem to be enhanced in a lot of the ways steve and bucky were/are.

The thing is that "this is an alternate universe version of myself who immigrated here and now works as a secretary in a law office by day and fights crime at night" is just not something that comes to mind when people wonder what's going on. It's just not. They're more concerned with impersonators/copycats. Even if it's all just a coincidence, there's two very enhanced vigilantes who popped up in Brooklyn who may end up being assets (or enemies) one day. They decide to go to the area and ask around.

The thing is that Peter B's Steve and Bucky are not subtle men, okay. They made zero efforts to disguise themselves. Bucky did not change his name. Steve changed his name to fucking Frodo, which is worse, because a good way to attract close attention of strangers is to tell them your name is fucking frodo. They're both highly active in community organizing also and outreach for veterans and do a lot of grassroots initiatives, so they're pretty well known in both hell's kitchen and brooklyn. So MCU!Bucky rolls up and immediately gets recognized, not as Bucky Barnes, the Winter Solider, but as Bucky Barnes, that nice man who looks hauntingly like The Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes and coincidentally has the exact same name but is not missing the arm.

Look okay its new york aliens fall from the fucking sky every tuesday now people have more important shit to handle than whether that nice dude who is highly active in a youth outreach program and who you can ask to walk you home at night is secretly a clone of bucky barnes who is dating a poorly disguised clone of steve rogers or whatever. it ain't their business. he's a nice guy they're leaving him be.

anyway it's stupidly fucking easy to find Bucky Barnes Who Has An Arm hanging out at the coffee shop of his boyfriend, Frodo the Barista, who only happens to look like a hipster Steve Rogers.

(Sam: excuse me, are you Bucky Barnes, from the Avengers?

Peter B's!Bucky, not even looking up from his phone: *takes off his glove with his teeth and waggles his fingers* nah man Bucky Barnes is missing his left arm. i just look like him.

Sam, not missing a beat: what about your right arm

Peter B's!Bucky, who never had this happen before: Ohno.exe

Frodo The Barista, turning around for the first time: I have an oat milk latte for Jessica

MCU!Bucky: :o :o :o)

Anyway they have to wait for the end of Steve's shift to answer any of their questions like "who are you people" and "what the hell do you think you're doing" and "why is Steve named fucking Frodo." it's a lot of bucky nervously sweating in his chair while MCU Sam and Bucky stare daggers at him.

They tell them everything, immediately, in full detail. Steve thinks Sam is the One True Captain America and is his biggest fucking fan. Sam cries a little.

Also Queens told them that this universe's Sam and Bucky were actually good dudes and weren't like, evil versions of Sam and Bucky. So they figure it's fine.

Peter B's Steve and Bucky's stance on the whole matter is that it's a nonissue. They're just planning on living their lives as they are. They don't see why anything needs to change. They're not going to get involved in this world's large scale conflicts--they're street level heroes in this world and not interested in being more, and also once the government gets involved that means that their entire deal with the Spider-Men and the Daredevils goes to shit. They trust Sam and Bucky to keep quiet on it. if MCU!Bucky and Sam want to pop by every now and then and hang out, they wouldn't mind. Steve's sort of a huge fan.

MCU!Sam and Bucky have been blue screening through the last fifteen minutes of this explanation. What the fuck is going on.

Peter B's Steve and Bucky basically invite them back to have dinner/meet Matt, who they understand to be a normal lawyer who is in a sort of polycule with multiverse hopping Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes? What the fuck is going on.

Of course they bring them back to an apartment and it's immediately apparent that it's Matt Murdock, that one blind attorney who everyone thought was daredevil for a bit until his twin brother Mike, who no one knew existed, showed up in his court hearing in a full red formal suit, flirted with multiple people including the judge, fought the court security team, and disappeared only to remain at large even today. what the fuck is going on.

(Steve: babe we're back we brought the guests we mentioned

matt, from the other room: THANK GOD TAKE THEM AND LEAVE

Bucky, who has long chalked this up to Matt's weird sense of humor and prickly personality, after all, why would he keep sleeping with them if he actually was trying to get rid of them: what do you think of pasta for dinner

matt: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT FINDING SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE

Sam: what the fuck is going on.)

Honestly it's one of those things where they end up decide to let this go on without interference. They come by sometimes to visit, but not often. It hurts, kind of? Steve and Bucky are happy and together here in a way they never got to be in this universe. Steve's still there, and still alive, and he's honestly happier than Sam or Bucky ever saw their version of Steve? Sam only knew him after the ice, after he lost everything and got caught up in endless conflicts and political machinations and just basically became a soldier who never got to come home from the war. Bucky knew Steve in better times, but it was like. still the Great Depression and Steve was still a queer disabled person in a world that really fucking hated queer people and disabled people. It's always nice when they come to visit but they always kind of leave with a feeling of loss? It constantly reminds them of what they never got with their steve. They need time for the wound to heal before they can spend more time with them.

at one point Steve does in fact go through with his plan to track down his universe's Sam Wilson and bestow upon him The Mantle of Captain America and make him the main character of a Y/N fic and there's a very confused Sam Wilson running around with them as a sort of six months Captain America practical training course who gets coffee with MCU!Sam Wilson

[luv-beam]

i have to preface this by saying (before i started screaming) that it is now *checks clock* 5:15 in the morning LMAOOOO i started this before i went to bed, woke up in the middle of the night, and finished this (also this is irrelevant but i just got a new cat and we went on an adventure thru my apartment so i kept trying to give her attention while also trying to finish this 😭😭)

i haven't seen a fic this long all the way thru in MONTHS. and oh my god... i am so so SO glad i started to get yunho brainrot and found this 😭 i love murder mystery and crime related things and i absolutely adored the slow burn between yunho and mc. the crafting of their relationship in general and their characters !! mwah chefs kiss

i feel like writing aus like this is always taboo but im a huge fan of when fics explore the grey area between right and wrong, and i think u did such a great job w it :'))) i loved how both yunho and mc thought they themselves were monsters, but they were actually more alike than they originally thought. AND THE WAY U WROTE HIM????? HES A BIKER??? DOCTOR??? KNOES THE HUMAN ANATOMY TO AN INTIMATE LEVEL THAT CAN BOTH KILL U AND /KILL YOU/?? idk if that last one made sense, but the final scene, that progression,,, okay one, that was so sexy i literally got butterflies, and two, he'd know the EXACT spots to make u feel something like y'all can't argue

omg and just yn being a clean freak 😭😭 i feel like that's so fitting WAIT I SHOULD'VE STARTED W THIS BUT i remember seeing a prompt that was like this au, the serial killer x crime fic writer thing somewhere and this is like a dream fic come true for me?? crazy. ur insane in the best way possible

OKAY ALSO yn asking yunho near the beginning abt how best to like, kill someone(?) w a dull 12inch knife that's been sharpened too much and HIM DOING IY @*?$*KSND okay. i just need to know what the other guys thought when they found out cuz that's low-key a love language, he was whipped from the beginning

im sure plenty of other people have screamed abt this but the MY GIRL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 U SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME I ROCKETED UP IN BED LIKE SAY THAT AGAIN I DARE U i think my cat thinks im crazy now. and the way yn so valiantly defended the knives 😭 omg i too would also gag abt the knives used to murder people and then used to murder steaks......... i think that addition was just INCREDIBLE. like,,, ofc irl that's gross ik but i think the dramatic irony was great

(mingi and yeosang at the end w "this too shall pass" IM FKCNDK CRYING 💀💀)

okay i can't believe i haven't said this yet but THANK U SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!! i absolutely loved this to bits and pieces (coughs) but yeah!! hope u have a lovely day/night <3

Guerrilla

serialkiller!dr.yunho x writer!reader

he is a serial killer with morals okay almost a vigilante

dni if you're not comfortable with this trope.

genres and warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive, violence warnings, atz as doctors cameos, some gory descriptions, twisted morals, past trauma, questionable stuff honestly esp yunho's intrusive thoughts, read at your own risk.

word count: ~27k

synopsis: you're a crime fiction writer and you move in with dr. jeong yunho despite his strange, strict house rules. he's very private and you don't mind that, but he's also very cold and unapproachable and you're determined to crack through his walls. little did you know your obsession with gore and crime would melt his heart. Soon, you find yourself tangled in lies, secrets and a detective from your past who suspects yunho and his gang as you navigate thru your relationship with him.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (i had a dream. we talked about it and this happened-)

“You know, if you could just help me bring my bags inside instead of staring at me like I’m about to commit a homicide, maybe you wouldn’t have to complain about the noise and not being able to focus on… whatever the heck you wanted to do.”

Yunho blinked. Was he hearing you right? When you cocked your head waiting for a response, he licked his suddenly dry lips. “I’m just worried about the amount of bags you’ve brought at this hour of night.”

The ungodly hours after midnight. You tucked your hair behind your ears before dragging one of the heavier bags to your room, the floorboard creaking unceremoniously. You heard the groan of your house owner who finally got up after a solid ten minutes of judging you and went to the porch to pick up a bag-

And almost fell on his knees.

“What the fuck did you put in here?” 

“What do you think?” You asked, throwing the bag in your room and going to the porch, snatching the bag and dragging it yourself. 

“A body?”

“Or two,” you muttered under your breath and again, Yunho thought he was hearing things. “It’s just my books. I thought I mentioned in the form that I’m an aspiring writer and would be coped up in my room reading or writing most hours of the day. I really won’t bother you much, just help me get my bags inside before the rain gets any worse. I don’t want my books getting ruined.”

Begrudgingly, Yunho obeyed, dragging two bags at once just to show you he wasn’t weak. You, however, did not bat an eye, much to his annoyance. After bringing in the last bags, he stood in your room looking around.

“I’m not sure this room is big enough for your books…”

“Don’t worry, I’ve lived in smaller rooms with more books,” you finally cracked a smile. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Jeong. I thought you’re usually doing night shifts?”

“I had a day off today and planned to sleep, but unfortunately, you disturbed my sleep.”

“You’re welcome,” you weren’t going to let him damper the mood. “Since you’re awake now, might as well tell me any rules about the house so I can finally go fix up a meal for myself. And an apology meal for you, though, as the owner of this house, you should be in the kitchen fixing something for your newly arrived housemate. But… I won’t complain.”

Yunho folded his arms, considering you. There was something about you that didn’t make him want to kill you in the most painful way, which was odd for him. He recalled the last time someone moved in with him and he almost dissected him alive. “Nice to meet you too, y/n. I’m trusting you read the rules before you decided to move in?”

“‘Minimal noise especially during the day, no intervening in each other’s business, an absolute no to bringing over people even if they are your family- if you have to, on a three-days notice, and… no getting to know each other. The workshop in the garage and the upper floor is off-limits.’ I believe I got them right?”

“You have an exceptional memory,” Yunho was impressed for once. “Why did you move here?”

“I’m sure you read my response in your form too, but to put it simply, I can’t afford a nicer place, though I’m curious why a doctor is living in such a dodgy little house in a shady town-”

“I, too, need to make ends meet,” Yunho explained even though he could have easily ignored your question. “Circumstances. Besides, I get a whole house instead of a cramped apartment in the city, and my workplace is close.”

“I know! Cramped apartments are suffocating. Even though I’ll only own a room here and share the floor, at least it’s a… house.”

Yunho nodded. “I’ll give you three days to settle down and break any rules except the ones mentioned in the form. Now, I understand that you can cook?”

“Always been a good cook,” you said proudly. 

“We can share the kitchen expenses and if you cook enough for the both of us, I can take 40 percent off your rent. Fair offer, isn’t it?”

“Peculiar is what it is,” you told him. “But I won’t question you. If I have to cook, might as well for the both of us. Saves me money in the long run, and I need to save every penny I can.”

“Right. There are a few cabinets locked in the kitchen, please don’t try to open them. I can’t think of any other rules right now, but try to keep it down, will you? And again, the upper floor is absolutely off-limits.”

“Got it,” you nodded. “Let me know your usual schedule so I don’t think there’s a serial killer entering my apartment in the middle of the night.”

Once again, Yunho had to stop himself from twitching in surprise. “What’s your obsession with serial killers and murders? You’ve mentioned them numerous times in the past half an hour.”

“I think the rules go both ways, Dr. Jeong Yunho,” you smiled teasingly, opening one of the bags and taking a deep breath at the amount of books in it. “But if you have to know… my genres are crime fiction and mystery. I hope I don’t scare you away, especially if I ask you something odd about human anatomy.”

Yunho almost gaped at you before shaking his head and exiting your room, absolutely unnerved by you in a mere half an hour. It was crazy- usually, he was the one making people feel alarmed or discomposed, but you were an odd one for sure. However, as with every past housemate, he was sure you were going to get on his nerves and he would have to either bury your bones in the backyard- consequently breaking the ‘code’- or plan something elaborate and chase you out. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be a pleasant person to share the house with. But when he opened the door at about 1am to a distraught looking girl that didn’t even reach his shoulders carrying six bags, some bigger than her… he wondered if he should kick you right out and remove the ad he had put in on a few websites looking for a ‘peaceful’ housemate. He was sure you must have some thoughts about him too- he wasn’t the most welcoming person and people would eventually get curious about his closed-off personality and start snooping around.

For now, Yunho peeked into your room from the stairs- you had your hands on your hips and were assessing the room, probably planning how you could fit everything in there. He checked the time- he needed to leave soon. Praying silently that you would just fall asleep or something instead of snooping around, he went to his room to get ready.

You, though, had no plans to sleep tonight. You needed to set your room and get some sleep so you could meet the deadline of your draft that was due this weekend- only three days away. You assessed the space in the room again- if you could move the bed to the corner, you could place your computer table and chair there which would be arriving in the morning. You could line the books along the rest of the walls on the floor. You didn’t need any fancy shelves. Thankfully, this room had its own closet so you wouldn’t need to worry about where to fit your clothes. 

You exited the room into the living room space, wanting to get the bearings of this house. The toilet was right in front of your room and one of the reasons you moved into this dodgy house was that it was… a good house. A toilet all to yourself was a blessing, and upon checking it looked clean. 

The living room wasn’t too big but it looked cosy. You noticed a lack of personal belongings and decided to add a few potted plants on the windows soon. There was no TV but you had a projector and if you moved the couch, you could have a whole plain wall which was perfect to watch dramas when Yunho would be away. The kitchen space was at the opposite end with a large countertop in between and it looked like Yunho had most of the kitchen appliances already. 

And at the end where the main door was, there were stairs leading up to the doctor’s space. Off-limits. You wondered why he was so uptight but you figured that as long as he was letting you live almost for free in return for home-cooked meals and maintaining the house, you could tolerate him. It was strange if you thought about it but you didn’t have the luxury to overthink right now.

You finally had a place- better than an apartment, yet something you could afford. You found yourself smiling. You just need to meet your deadlines now and hopefully publish your book by the end of the year- before the publishers change their mind. 

But first… coffee.

You went to your room to get the bottle of your favourite coffee blend, which was really a mixture from a few different brands that you had come up with after years of experimentation. You set two cups on the counter and checked the fridge for milk. You weren’t sure about the doctor’s preferences so you made a simple latte like your own. You were just finishing up when you heard the dull footsteps of him descending the stairs. 

“I made coffee…” you trailed off- now that he was in a white button down and black slacks with his hair styled, it finally settled in.

Doctor Jeong Yunho was pretty damn attractive.

“Uh…” he looked around awkwardly before grabbing the mug and taking a sip, raising his brows in surprise. “This… is actually pretty good.”

You grinned. “My own blend.”

He made an impressed face and you took that opportunity to ask. “You don’t mind if I make a few changes to this floor, right? Nothing major, just a few plants here and there, maybe get a chair or two, move the furniture around to make space for the projector?”

“Isn’t it too early for that?” Yunho frowned. “I might kick you out before that. Or you might end up leaving-”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” you dismissed. “What I mean is, I’m staying out of your way so you would have no reason to kick me out because I really, really cannot get a better deal than I got with you.”

“Sure, then,” he finished his coffee. “Do whatever you like as long as you stick to the rules. I’ll be on my way then.”

You relaxed, mind already buzzing with ideas as you headed towards your room to fix your draft.

—-------------------------------

The trial period Yunho had given you was over and you were now seated in the kitchen with your third cup of coffee since midnight, awaiting your judgement.

Really, you were telling yourself that you shouldn’t worry. If you had to be your own judge, you had done a spectacular job of staying out of the doctor’s way except when unavoidable- which was usually right before he left for work around midnight when you would both eat dinner, or his usual shift in the later hours of morning. He insisted that he was fine eating alone and you didn’t have to wait for him to eat your own dinner, and yes, he sounded like he could be anywhere but there, but you told him that if you were cooking for him, you’d rather he eat at least one meal with you. For what reason, you didn’t give and he didn’t ask.

You didn’t give because you may be a self-proclaimed good cook but you were also someone who was sensitive. And that meant that if Yunho didn’t like something you cooked, you would be ready to take constructive criticism and improve. 

And he didn’t ask because he could see that you were a sensitive one. He knew the moment he told you off for filling the house with potted plants within one day and you almost teared up asking if he didn’t like the signs of life around the house. He actually almost laughed at that but when he realised you were serious, he told you he wouldn’t take care of the plants. You told him you wouldn’t expect him to because the plants were ‘your babies’ and had moved two houses with you already. 

So yes, you stayed out of his way. You cooked for him. You cleaned the house quite a bit- so much that Yunho almost didn’t recognise his own porch because of how different it looked in the span of a few hours that he was absent from the house. He made a point of telling you right after that your trial period wasn’t up, and you made a point of retorting with how you were just waiting for him to give in, to which you earned a scowl. By now, you knew that the doctor was not very friendly- at least not immediately. You wondered if that was the reason why he had troubles with his past housemates. 

When you heard the sound of keys jingling and the door unlocking, you straightened and started heating up the dinner- you kept it traditional today- rice, beef and a lot of side dishes. Perhaps, it was your last attempt to win him over, and your heart was beating loudly with anticipation. You never waited for him to come home and share a meal in the early hours of morning but today, you made an exception. You turned around to greet him-

Finding his clothes stained with what had to be blood. His hair was all messed up as well and he had a bruise on his cheek. You exhaled. “Looks like somebody had a long night shift.”

“What are you doing this early in the morning?” He took off his shoes that you noticed were quite muddy. It hadn’t rained in a few days so you briefly wondered where he had been, but you shook your head.

No questions asked. That was the rule.

“Prepared breakfast? For you,” you scratched your suddenly itchy neck. “For obvious reasons. Last attempt to bribe you before you announce your decision.”

Yunho scanned you for a few moments before he said, “I should change first.”

“Of course,” you nodded. “I’ll set the table in the meantime.”

Yunho nodded and went upstairs, going to the room at the end of the hallway and dumping his shirt and trousers in the washing machine, turning it on. He needed to get rid of the blood as soon as possible and detergent wouldn’t be enough so he grabbed a soap and rubbed the stains on his shirt for good measure- now, the clothes would wash themselves. 

It was almost a mechanical routine now, he scoffed at how his hands worked on their own now. He went to his room, unlocking it and changing into sweats. Usually, he didn’t eat much before sleeping- after all, due to his night shifts, he slept for most hours of the day and breakfast wasn’t something he cared about, but the smell of beef was making his stomach rumble. He figured he could make an exception today.

By the time he joined you at the table, there were a variety of dishes in front of him and he raised a brow at you. “You really went all out, huh?”

“Of course I would,” you shrugged. “But I’ll be honest. I got most of these side dishes as a gift from one of my friends from work.”

Yunho nodded, thanking you for the meal and eating silently, waiting and waiting but you never asked him about his bloody clothes. Did you dismiss it because you thought it might be from a patient? Or because you simply didn’t care? Was he lucky then, having found you as his housemate? Because one of the qualities he needed in his housemate that he simply couldn’t have stated in the form was a lack of curiosity or inquisitiveness. It was different than being nosy- he could deal with nosy but not someone who would overstep their boundaries because they were curious.

It was why he was apprehensive of you at first. You were a writer. Writers had to be curious and inquisitive, and you were. He knew you were only beginning right now, but the few occasions you had been curious, he was thrown off. And for the right reasons-

“As a doctor, do you think it’s more painful to bleed to death or to drown?”

“As a doctor… do you think a sharp pencil stab to the jugular vein could be fatal?”

That was really all you ever asked him. His opinion as a doctor. You asked with such simplicity that he couldn’t help but stop whatever he was doing and really think about the answer-

“I personally think it’s more painful to drown. The water burns you from the inside. Bleeding to death… you stop feeling things at a certain point and it gets easier from there.”

“Well, it depends on the location of the stab but I reckon if it’s around the base of the neck, it could be fatal. But it would have to be embedded quite deep, and then extracted so a person can bleed to death. If it stays in, there’s no point.”

And his answers would earn him your satisfaction and suddenly, you would be muttering to yourself and going for your room, probably to note it down. He had done his research there too- if he was going to have you as his housemate, he needed to do a background check on you. He didn’t find anything odd in your socials- you tended to stay anonymous and most of your blogs were writing-focused. And when he snooped in your room while you were away grocery shopping, he only found various notes and books on crime and methods of serial killers. He was ashamed to admit he spent quite some time on that book and learned a lot.

So now, having finished the delicious breakfast (you really were a good cook) and finding you uninterested in his whereabouts and the aching bruise on his cheek, he finally cracked the first smile in three days. 

“I’ll let you live if you take care of the house like you have been so far. And you really don’t need to wait for me during meals. The rules are still the same.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding and laughed in relief. “Thank you. I’ll stick by the rules, and I’ll probably have dinner with you if I’m not busy- I don’t like eating alone, to be honest. You can pretend I’m not there if that’s what bothers you. Also…”

When Yunho urged you to continue, your shoulders relaxed in relief but your brows crunched in annoyance. “Do you have to bring your muddy shoes inside? I just cleaned.”

Yunho looked towards the doorway. “I can’t leave them out.”

“Well, I can’t have muddy shoes inside, so you’ll have to do something about it yourself or else I’ll be annoyed and have to clean them myself and you do not want me cleaning your shoes-”

“Okay,” Yunho waved a hand to shut you up. “I’ll take them off on the porch next time.”

“Good,” you folded your arms, considering him. “I think we’re good then.”

Yunho narrowed his eyes. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying that…”

“Well, now that we’ve settled everything, I hope you and I will get along,” you extended your hand and he warily shook it, aware of how small your hand was in his. “Now, since you’re a doctor, I must ask if you’ll take care of the loud bruise on your cheek before you sleep. We don’t want it looking worse than it already is.”

“I’ll take care of it,” he assured, and he couldn’t help but continue. “Aren’t you going to ask?”

“I’ll admit that I’m curious, but I won’t break a rule- and I won’t be tricked into breaking one either,” you winked at him and once again, he found himself smiling. “I’ll just assume you had a bad day at work or a rough case. You must often get them as a… surgeon?”

He nodded and you started stacking the dishes. “You can go rest now. I’ve installed a clothesline in the backyard- I really wonder where you’ve been drying your clothes all this time, but I won’t ask. You should try hanging your clothes outside this time.”

For a moment, Yunho wondered if he should have kicked you out.

“I just have a question before you disappear,” you turned and he paused in his tracks, wondering if his stealth was worsening. “It’s an odd one, for my book, but… approximately how long would a healthy man suffer with a stab wound to this area-” you rubbed the left side of your stomach, “- given the weapon is an old 12-inch kitchen knife that’s been sharpened way too many times?”

For a moment, Yunho wondered if he had forgotten to lock the cabinet in the kitchen that contained all of his knives. “You’re uh… oddly specific.”

“I have to be,” you shrugged.

“Well…” Yunho rubbed his chin, thinking of all the patients and victims he had dealt with so far. “Can I sleep on it?”

—-----------------------

Your life was finally not falling apart, for once.

In fact, perhaps this was the calmest that things had been for a good few years now, you mused to yourself as you mopped the floor, your usual instrumental playlist on a considerable volume playing in the living room. Ever since you graduated and had to face the reality of navigating through life as an adult, mostly on your own, you had to tackle a lot of struggles and obstacles. Sure, things got better when you finally signed a contract with a publishing company and started writing for them, but whenever you thought things calmed down, there was always something happening to make you feel like everything was falling apart once again.

Like a few weeks ago when you had to move out of your apartment that you had lived in for three years because the owner decided to sell the building and every tenant had to empty their apartment on a rather short notice. You were compensated but that wasn’t enough because everything was so expensive now. You couldn’t go back to your hometown- if you went back, you would never be able to leave again. So you scoured the internet and found your current place.

And things were finally okay. You did not have to worry about rent- you were doing a good job at maintaining the house and feeding the owner proper meals and so far, he had no complaints with you (he told you if he ever did, he would make sure you knew). You were now able to keep up with your weekly deadlines and finally able to overcome your writer’s block- all thanks to Yunho.

Over the past two weeks, while you could not say that Yunho had warmed up to you, he was getting there alright. You could tell because he stopped complaining about you overcleaning- or perhaps, he admitted defeat. He also stopped protesting when you joined him for dinner before he left for work at night and it was then you would ask him all the questions you had- mostly injuries related, sometimes medical law, but you found that he was knowledgeable in legal law as well. He was never curious about why you asked him all your odd questions, but one day, he asked you what exactly you were writing.

“I’m writing about a female detective who’s assigned to a case of serial killings in her precinct. The serial killer is a strange one because he does not have a fixed method of killing and his victim pool has no pattern, and at first the detective believes that there is a group of them which may or may not be working together, but towards the end, I reveal that there was only one… and the serial killer was from the same station as her so he always knew what to avoid.”

And that was the only time Yunho looked remotely impressed with what you did- if you didn’t count the time he saw you carrying a tower of books and wondered how a tiny thing like you could carry so much. After that, whenever you told him about your progress during dinner (you insisted you needed to talk out loud about it and if he didn’t want to hear it, he could say so because you were used to talking to the walls) he would offer clarifications at least about the things that concerned him. You asked him if he had dealt with a lot of fatal wounds in surgery.

“When I was a beginner, that’s when I got the worst of them,” he admitted. “But I don’t work in the fancy hospitals anymore. With some of my colleagues, we opened our own private clinic. The hospital life wasn’t for me- at least not right now.”

That was all he offered about his personal life and you didn’t ask why he couldn’t handle a hospital life right now. Perhaps, he was going through some of his own troubles like you were too. He tended to spend most of his free time out anyway so you figured that medical practice wasn’t the only thing he was doing.

Plus, he had a thing for cars- old, beaten up cars that he would fix in his garage that he called his ‘workshop’. He would dedicate his weekend to those cars and would become so absorbed that he would forget to eat. One time, you made a smoothie for him because he had skipped his meal and when you went to the garage and cleared your throat, he appeared in your vision, all rough and messed up. You stifled your smile and raised the glass in your hand. He simply asked you to leave it in the corner and go away. 

He forgot to drink that and you found it the next day in the same spot, to your dismay. 

You sighed to yourself when you recalled that day, placing the mop next to the wall while you cleaned the window in the living room. You spotted a car in front of your neighbour’s house where the old couple lived and you figured it might finally be their son paying them a visit. You had actually met the couple while on your way to the convenience store and they asked you if the doctor was giving you any trouble.

“I don’t know why he couldn’t have a housemate for so long,” the old woman shook his head in worry. “He’s such a kind young man. He checks on us every weekend even though he is busy and he makes sure we go to our monthly checkups.”

“Really?” That was unexpected. “Sounds like a kind young man indeed.”

She laughed. “You must be a good person if you’ve stuck around for this long. If he gives you any trouble, just let me know and I’ll give him an earful, yeah?”

You let out a short laugh, wanting to tell her that it was probably the other way round, but it had you wondering why his previous housemates didn’t last long enough with him. He wasn’t a very strict person and the rules weren’t something one couldn’t obey. Was it because of his cold demeanour? You had to admit that he was very mysterious and sometimes, you wondered just what exactly he did other than his medical practice. 

Maybe curiosity does kill the cat, so you would let it go.

You were just stacking the mops back in the shed when you heard the sound of Yunho’s bike- you could recognise the sound of his bike now- it wasn’t too loud like other bikes but had a deep sound. You turned to find him parking it in the garage and you checked your wristwatch.

“You’re… early today.”

It was half past four, the sun just starting to illuminate the sky. He usually came back when the sun was fully out. He took off his helmet and ran his hand through his hair, scanning you.

“Yes, I am,” he got off the bike, not offering an explanation. You didn’t need one either. He simply nodded at you once in greeting before going inside-

Leaving a trail of muddy boot prints again.

Cursing at him, you grabbed the mop and started cleaning after him, noticing he took off his shoes on the porch this time. You made a face at the shoes, wishing you could have made it at him and picked them up and wiped them on the grass to get most of the mud off before setting them back on the porch. When you got inside, Yunho cleared his throat.

“You don’t have to take care of my shoes, I’ve said it multiple times-”

“I just cleaned,” you clenched your jaw, turning to him. “Look. You’ve got rules in this house, and as your housemate, I’ll state my rules too.”

“Oh?” He looked amused. “Please, carry on.”

“Wipe your shoes on the grass before you take them off on the porch,” you exhaled, a weight off your shoulders. “I hate it when I have just cleaned the entire house and you come from work with your muddy shoes trampling all over my hard work.”

“Trampling might be a strong word…”

“You get my point,” you glared at him and he straightened, nodding. This was the first time he saw you angry and-

He was trying his best not to laugh right now.

“Any other rules?” He managed to ask without cracking up.

“Just…” you looked around. “Oh yes, I’ve got one. When you wash your hands in the sink, you should wipe your hands with that towel-” you pointed at the twin bunny hand towels hanging by the hook you attached on the wall next to the sink. “You can use the blue one. I have the towel for the purpose that you don’t go around spreading a water trail after yourself.”

This time, Yunho turned around and finally let out the laugh he had been holding back and you stood gaping at him, wondering if you should congratulate yourself for finally making him laugh or if the bubbling thing in your throat was your anger worsening. “What? If you don’t like that, you can kick me out.”

“No,” he turned around to face you, looking down. “I’m… sorry. I won’t do that again, I’ll abide by the rules. You don’t have to get so angry-”

“I’m not angry-”

Yunho stifled another smile, shaking his head as if to stop himself from laughing again and you narrowed your eyes. 

“You can laugh in front of me. I don’t bite.”

But perhaps, that was the wrong thing to say. His smile faded and he went back to being the same, cold doctor. “You should go to sleep now.”

Just like that, he dismissed you. He dismissed you like any other time you almost cracked through his cold, mysterious demeanour. And just like always, you let him dismiss you and left him alone.

He might not kick you out for setting these rules but if you continued to try to get him to break this wall he had built all around him… he would have no other option. Curiosity could kill you, you knew, but you were so curious about what kind of a person he was. You didn’t have many neighbours but the old couple insisted he was very kind and friendly when Yunho had been anything but friendly to you. He had been distant, unapproachable, sometimes talkative but rarely smiling like he had today. You refused to believe that this was who he was. He had the brightest smile and the most heartwarming laugh that you heard today, and you vowed to yourself that even though he might kick you out for crossing boundaries…

You would make him laugh. Slowly, and surely, you would break him.

—--------------------------

Yunho had had a few eventful days and perhaps, work was the only place he felt at home now, surrounded by all of his friends who knew him. Knew who he was. Knew and didn’t judge him for being the kind of person that he was. Sure, in his own home, he felt comfortable too (except for when a certain someone started nagging) but his true home was with his people.

And to find you pop up at his workplace without a notice made his eyes twitch in annoyance and realise that the urge to kill you might not be as strong as before but it was there alright.

“What are you doing here?” He said through gritted teeth, surprising not only the old lady from next door but also the staff who walked past you. 

“Jeong Yunho, that is no way to talk to a lady!” The woman said, shaking her head in disappointment and when you saw Yunho’s features soften when he met her gaze, you scoffed. “She was kind enough to walk me here- I’m having a lot of trouble with my vision all of a sudden.”

“You should have called the ambulance then,” Yunho frowned, taking the woman’s hand and guiding her across the hallway, disappearing at the end and you pursed your lips, deciding to take a seat in the waiting area.

You looked around- the clinic was big enough and the staff had been kind. It looked like it ran well. There weren’t many people here right now- only a few patients in the waiting and you read the board to see that there were a number of doctors available- a gynaecologist, dentist, paediatrician, psychiatrist, nephrologist, eye specialist, ent specialist and orthopaedic surgeon. You were reading the names of all the doctors when you felt eyes on you and you saw a man in a lab coat watching you with mild amusement. You looked away but when you realised he was still staring, you raised a brow at him and he finally approached you.

“I happened to see your interaction with Yunho earlier, and couldn’t help but wonder if you were the new housemate we’ve heard so much about?”

You were rendered speechless- first of all, he seemed to be pretty damn close with Yunho. Either that or he was nosy, but you knew Yunho wasn’t the type to keep nosy people around. And then… 

The housemate ‘we’ had heard so much about?

“Uh… You’re telling me that Dr. Jeong Yunho talks about me? Here? At his workplace? Who might you be?”

“I’m Dr. Jung Wooyoung,” he extended his hand and you shook it. “I’m the dentist here, and an old friend of Yunho’s. I don’t know if he mentioned but our friend group opened up this clinic here.”

“He mentioned colleagues, not friends,” you told him and he shook his head in disappointment. “But nice to meet you, doctor. I’m y/n, the housemate Yunho talks about a lot- all good things, I hope?”

Thus, Wooyoung started retelling every conversation he had with him about you and you found him very easy to talk to. There was just something about him that invited you to relax and let loose, and soon after you heard that Yunho had told them all about you being a nagger and a clean-freak weirdo writer, you were complaining about how Yunho was borderline mean to you and you found it hard to believe that he was the warm, kind and funny person that Wooyoung insisted he was.

“I mean… the lady that I brought with me? Our neighbour? I told her she was wrong when she said that Yunho was a kind young man, but you’re saying he’s the funny one? I haven’t seen him smile in days, Wooyoung.”

“He’ll get used to you in no time,” Wooyoung waved his hand in dismissal. “You just gotta keep trying. Me? I cracked him in two days.”

“No way,” you laughed. “I’ve only made him laugh once and it’s been about a month-”

“Haven’t you got patients waiting for you, Dr. Jung?” 

You froze, turning around slowly to see a tense Yunho standing at the corner, watching you two for god knows how long. You were about to apologise to Wooyoung for keeping him back but Wooyoung scoffed at Yunho.

“I expected better from you, mate. I like this one- I’m taking her to Hongjoong’s room,” Wooyoung said, getting up and helping you up too, steering you by your shoulders towards the hallway even though you protested and when you looked back to catch a glimpse of Yunho, you caught him shaking his head in disappointment-

But he let out a chuckle. He probably thought you couldn’t see him. He probably laughed because of Wooyoung. But he was going to get so mad at you-

“Don’t worry, he won’t kick you out,” Wooyoung almost whispered, winking at you. “If he tries anything, you come to me, okay? I’ll handle him.”

“Thanks,” you smiled awkwardly. “Where exactly are you taking me?”

“I would have taken you to Mingi, who’s Yunho’s oldest friend and would have given you tips on how to make Yunho give you the princess treatment, but he’s a little occupied right now so I’m taking you to Yunho’s second-oldest friend, Hongjoong.”

“When I accompanied the neighbour lady, I didn’t mean to intrude,” you paused in your tracks, looking at Wooyoung. “I’m not sure I should be here-”

“It’s okay,” Wooyoung assured you with a wide smile. “Relax. Yunho is not some big angry dude who’ll give you an earful at home. I’ll explain- and by now, he probably knows that I’m the one who’s basically kidnapped you.”

You laughed, allowing him to guide you to the eye specialist’s room and when you went inside, you saw the doctor packing his belongings. When he raised his head and brushed the dark strands away, he frowned at Wooyoung. 

“The guest doesn’t look too pleased to be here, Wooyoung.”

“This is Yunho’s housemate,” Wooyoung grinned cheekily and Hongjoong said a loud ‘oh’, greeting you. “She’s the writer, Hongjoong. The crime fiction writer.”

“Ah,” Hongjoong nodded. “I read your book when Yunho told us who you were- ‘In the Silent Hours’? Amazing read.”

You were genuinely touched. “Thank you so much. I wish I could say something, but Yunho hasn’t told me anything about you all.”

“We know,” he laughed. “He can be like that. I hope you had a good experience visiting us, though, and if you have any concerns, you know where to come.”

You looked at Wooyoung who was smiling proudly. “I have way too many questions but I won’t ask- Yunho has a ‘no interfering in personal lives’ policy,” you said and they laughed as if that was the funniest thing Yunho could have done. “I’ll drop by with cookies some day, if you’re okay with that?”

“Sounds great!” Wooyoung clapped. 

“I should really get going now and catch up with Yunho on our neighbour’s condition,” you said, excusing yourself and they enthusiastically said goodbye, making you unable to contain your smile as you made your way back to the entrance where Yunho was discussing something with a nurse-

Goodness, he looked so fucking hot in that lab coat with his hair done. You were positive his outworldly proportions were what made a boring lab coat look so attractive-

He caught you staring and when he finished talking with the nurse, he slowly made his way to you.

“Where’s grandma?” You asked. “Did you find out what’s wrong?”

“We’ve referred her to the nearest hospital and called her family- it seems to be a case of infarct and she’s lucky that she’s still walking and functioning like normal save for her eyes.”

“Oh-”

“And thanks to you bringing her so soon, we’ve managed to minimise the damage,” Yunho actually smiled this time and you let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding. “She’s resting right now- they’ll take care of her until her family comes.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. 

“Well…” Yunho checked the time and you did the same- it was almost 2 which meant he would be off soon. “It’s almost time to go home. You walked here?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I should get going then.”

When Yunho didn’t say anything, you said bye and turned to leave but then you heard the familiar voice of Wooyoung shout ‘take her home, don’t be an ass!’ and you stifled a grin, facing Yunho to assure you that you would be okay walking-

“I mean… we’re going to the same place, so… I could make an exception this time- like the other exceptions I’m making,” Yunho narrowed his eyes at you. “I will pretend today didn’t happen.”

“Oh, please, I’ll walk myself home-”

“I’m kidding,” Yunho smiled and you wondered if it was the place that made him comfortable enough to joke with you. “I would have considered dissecting you alive if you dropped by for no reason, but really, you did a good thing today. Think of it as returning the sentiment.”

“I really don’t get you,” you said, ignoring the reference he made to your last inquiry about dissections, waiting for him when he said he would get his things from his room. When he returned with his bag, helmet and without the lab coat, you followed him outside, repeating that. “I really don’t get you, Yunho. You seem like two different people in one body.”

“Perhaps, I am,” he mused. “And perhaps, you’re lucky I’m in a good mood today. Here, wear this.”

He handed you his helmet and you took it, watching him get on his bike. “What about you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, you can wear this, I’ll be fine-”

“Y/n,” he warned, the sudden change in his pitch sending butterflies in your stomach. “Just do as I say. Now, get on and hold on tight. I’m not slowing down for you.”

And perhaps, you should have insisted more on walking back home because he sped through the streets, making you grip his jacket tighter with each passing second, but it was so thrilling that when you reached home, you almost asked for a second round. You took off the helmet and laughed out loud, shaking your head.

“It’s not my first time riding on a bike with someone, but it’s been ages. Can I get another ride one day?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Yunho warned, helping you get off and then parking the bike in his garage. “And I hope you don’t have any questions regarding my workplace today.”

“Oh, I have many, but…” you motioned to your lips, zipping them shut and Yunho nodded in approval, unlocking the house and going inside first. You muttered ‘ass’ and went to the kitchen, heating up everything you had made today, mind still plagued with the events of today.

—-----------------------

You finished plating the steaks, satisfied at your presentation, the cheese perfectly melted on top of the fried crust. It smelled heavenly and since you now knew that Yunho was an actual food enthusiast and a surprisingly gentle and constructive critic, the simple chore of cooking became something you started looking forward to.

When you lived alone, you never made much effort to cook for yourself, but now, things were different. Your house owner was reducing your rent in exchange for home-cooked meals and you could deliver, so you waited for Yunho who would be coming downstairs any minute- he had informed you that he had to leave for work early today so you prepared accordingly, though anyone could tell you were putting more effort into the meals now.

And that was because ever since the day in Yunho’s clinic, it looked like he was finally starting to consider you more than a housemate. You couldn’t exactly call yourselves friends- the rules were still the same, but perhaps, Yunho liked that you were a person of your word. You never talked about that day in the hospital, neither did you ask him about his friends. You never asked him what happened if he came back home at an odd time or if he suddenly went out in the middle of the night. You both respected each other’s boundaries and perhaps, that was what made him start opening up to you.

It wasn’t much, no. It was the little things- him offering to help you arrange the grocery or join you when you watched netflix. He would scroll on his phone, occasionally comment on whatever you were watching and then leave. It was him actually cleaning after himself when he accidentally brought his muddy shoes inside- you gave him a thumbs-up to acknowledge his effort and even that got him flustered, which you thought was cute. And it was him actually taking interest in what you were writing instead of giving answers to the questions you asked. 

When you heard his footsteps down the stairs, you pretended to be busy setting the table and he made an impressed face as he took a seat. 

“This is new,” he commented, waiting for you to sit before he could dig in.

“I’ve had this recipe for a while and finally felt the urge to try it,” you told him. When he took the first bite and nodded in approval, you relaxed and began eating yourself. 

“It’s been about two months. You don’t have to worry about what I think about your cooking. I’ll have it even if it doesn’t taste like something straight out of a restaurant.”

“Can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, but I like it when the other person starts first- when I cook,” you said. He understood. He always seemed to understand where you came from, which was why you both rarely ever disagreed on things.

“It’s really good,” he said. “Also, I wanted to, uh, inform you- there’s a fundraiser happening at the clinic to help the patients who can’t afford to pay their bills. If you would like to participate…”

You passed him a side-eye. “That’s not you talking, is it?”

“You’re right,” he looked guilty. “Wooyoung and Hongjoong forced me to. Something about… cookies?”

“Oh? They remember?”

“They said it’s a good opportunity to flaunt your baking skills if you’re up for it,” Yunho shook his head in thought. “I personally think it’s okay if you don’t want to bake for strangers-”

“When is it?”

“This weekend.”

“I can do it,” you said and when he looked like he was regretting asking you, you continued, “If you have some qualms about me personally attending it, I could just bake the cookies and you could take them with you.”

“No, it’s not that,” he scratched his neck. “It’s…”

“I know, and I don’t mind,” you assured him. “I agreed to your terms when I decided to move in here. I won’t interfere in your workspace if that is what you want-”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just… new for me too,” he admitted and you paused, a bit surprised to hear that. “I’ll let you know the timings-”

His gaze stuck on the kitchen counter for a few moments, prompting you to follow it and see that he was staring holes into the knife holder. You looked at Yunho again to make sure if that was what he was staring at and then his gaze went to the cabinet at the left end of the kitchen-

“Where did you get those knives?”

For a moment, you wondered if his change of tone was something you were imagining until he got up and slowly walked to the counter where the knife holder was, taking out one of the knives and examining it and then almost rushing towards the cabinet at the left end and opening it-

“I told you not to touch the locked cabinets, didn’t I?”

You would have perhaps trembled under his dark gaze if you weren’t so confused right now. “The locked cabinets, yes? But that one was unlocked?”

Yunho glared at you, knife still in his hand. “When did you check it?”

“I was looking for a knife strong enough to cut meat and I found this cabinet unlocked-”

“You used this knife to cut the meat?”

You could feel your hands get clammy by now, lower lip almost quivering and you hated how small your voice sounded when you said yes. He turned around and almost grunted in pain and you wondered just what you had done so wrong. Almost mechanically, you took another bite of your now cold steak. Yunho came back to his seat but instead of sitting, he dropped the knife on the table with a clang.

“You knew that cabinet used to be locked, didn’t you?” His loud voice shook you and you wondered what effect he would have if he shouted. “You keep breaking rules without breaking them-”

“Well it’s not my fault it was unlocked, okay?” You shouted this time, dropping your utensils on the table, frustrated. “You should have locked it properly then!”

Before he could respond, you stormed off to your room, shutting your door with a bang and he slumped down on his chair, trying to take deep breaths, trying to suppress the feeling of disgust he got when he looked at his half-eaten meal-

Because you fucking used his knife to make a meal for him.

The knife he had killed several people with.

How could he forget to lock it? He couldn’t recall not locking it, but still, how could he be so careless? How could he-

He heard a muffled sound- it was hard to miss because the house was usually very silent, but it had to be the sound of you sobbing and to his surprise, despite everything, something in his heart ached at the sound. Now that the cloud of anger was disappearing, he realised he had reacted irrationally. It was his fault for not making sure the cabinet with his murder weapons was locked. He kept them in the kitchen so it wouldn’t be suspicious if someone saw, but still, he should have hidden them well. And then what he said about you continuing to break rules when he himself invited you to the fundraiser-

Yes, Wooyoung suggested it but it was ultimately him who invited you. Yunho shook his head, disappointed in himself and wondered what to do. He came to the conclusion that for now, he needed to collect his thoughts while you sobbed. Shit, he thought. He must have scared you a lot. He had been told way too many times that he was a scary person when angry, and you did not have to see that when you spent an hour making him such a good meal. 

So, disappointed and praying to the heavens above that you at least washed the knives properly before you used them, he resumed eating, almost gagging through the rest of the meal and when he was done and had one glass of cool water down his system to calm himself, he finally mustered the courage to get up, be a man and apologise to you.

The thing about you, he realised since you moved here, was that you were odd in a charming way. When he was looking for a housemate who would maintain the house and cook, he didn’t expect someone who was so dedicated to the task. You were busy too, but it looked like you had shifted your schedule to adjust to his. When he was gone to work, you slept, and when he came back, you would be waiting for him. You had added life to this house and he couldn’t believe how much his mood had changed now that the house looked like a home and he ate well. 

You always gave and gave, expecting nothing in return. Perhaps, that’s just who you were. A good person, someone he could only wish to be. Someone who only wrote about horrible crimes instead of actually committing them. Someone who believed that her house owner was a respectable doctor and not a part-time serial killer as well.

That was debatable too. He had a purpose- he didn’t kill randomly. He only killed the people who deserved it. But that was a story for later- he couldn’t come into your room and tell you that reason, so what the hell was he doing standing in front of your door?

Yunho knocked gently and when you fell silent but didn’t respond, he knocked again. 

“Y/n? Can I come in?”

Silence.

“Please?”

It was the gentleness in his voice that made you mutter a small yes, but only after you wiped your tears away. Truth be told, you weren’t that sensitive. You weren’t sure why you ended up throwing a tantrum and crying tonight but you figured it was long due now. You just wished you could explain to him without becoming a mess again-

And then he opened the door, looking worriedly at you. Worriedly, with his brows scrunched and actions hesitant and you found your vision getting blurry with tears again. 

Dammit. 

You looked away but from the corner of your eye you saw him look around the room once before hesitantly walking to where you were- on the floor, back resting against the bed. To your surprise, he sank down next to you, mirroring your position.

“I don’t know how to say it, but I’m sorry,” he almost whispered. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It’s my fault.”

A fresh stream of tears left your eyes and you weren’t sure if it was because of what happened earlier or what he said now. He couldn’t simply come inside your room and apologise and act like it wouldn’t affect you.

“Will you look at me?”

You wiped your tears and turned to face him, hesitating to meet his eyes. He understood. He shifted a bit towards you. “No explanation will make it better, and I’m ashamed that I reacted this way when it’s my fault that I left that cabinet unlocked. I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you when you do so much for me without asking.”

“Yes,” your voice was quivering as much as your lips. “It’s your fault. I mean… I won’t ask but they are just knives, Yunho.”

And then you were crying again at the absurdity of it all and Yunho decided to take responsibility. He patted your head awkwardly and when you buried your head between your knees, he drew closer and wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” he attempted to sound sincere- he was, but you didn’t need to know that he was also stifling grins. “I scared you, right?”

“You did!” You cried. “Do you know how awful you look when you’re angry? And holding that knife? I thought you were going to stab me, Yunho.”

And this time, Yunho laughed heartily, making you laugh as well and push him away. He put a hand on the side of your face to cup it, still laughing as he said, “Please. Who would cook for me if I killed you?”

“I don’t know,” you pouted. “You have a lot of friends. Maybe one of them could cook for you.”

Yunho smiled at that, wiping your tears away and you suddenly felt conscious of the position you two were in, though he didn’t seem to realise it yet- or he was ignoring it, for once. “Sorry for almost yelling at you. And sorry for saying everything that I did.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, scanning his features now that you were looking at him up close for the first time. You noticed how warm his eyes could look, how soft his features actually were. He looked perfect, and if it weren’t for all the rules that would cost you a living space, you would have crossed a lot of boundaries by now. “I’m sure you had your reasons- and I should have asked when I found the cabinet unlocked.”

“But that doesn’t justify my behaviour one bit,” he shook his head. “Now, will you come out and finish your dinner?”

“But-”

“I have finished mine,” he told you. “And now you should too. I’ll go heat it up.”

With a pat to your cheek, he left the room, leaving you wrapped in his clean and manly scent. You sighed deeply, avoiding the mirror but wiping your face before taking a seat back at the table. You watched him set the table for you. 

“You should go now,” you said. “You had to leave early. I’ve probably held you back a lot, I’m sorry-”

“I’ll go when you finish eating,” he insisted and you shot him a glare before picking up your fork.

“Just so you know,” you said as you took a bite, Yunho watching you earnestly. “I don’t usually become a crying mess like I just did. I’m stronger than that.”

“Whatever you say.”

“I am,” you glared at him again. “But I have my limit too. And today was all the pent up emotions from the previous two months.”

“All because of me, huh?”

“Don’t think too highly of yourself,” you teased. “I have other things to worry about too.”

“Of course you do,” he smiled.

“Yep. Like deadlines. And chores.”

“I hope the fundraiser won’t conflict with your deadline?”

“It won’t,” you told him. “You’re assuming I’ll attend.”

“I’ll make sure you do,” he said as you finished eating the last bite. “Because I’m the one who’s inviting you.”

Perhaps, this was another step towards a relationship more meaningful than housemates. Perhaps… 

He was finally starting to consider you a friend.

—-------------------------------

Sometimes, Yunho wondered if it was a good decision to have you as his housemate.

It wasn’t that you were doing anything wrong, no. You were perfect. Goodness, you were perfect and he both loved and hated that. He had no idea how he got lucky with you- and he was not thinking about the fact that he got to have delicious meals at home or his place looked maintained. 

It was about the things he could talk to you about, and hell, he didn’t even talk to you much. You probably had no idea how much he enjoyed your little questions about what was the most painful way to die or how you would kill someone in a certain context- it was the only time, perhaps, that he could be himself. He had spent a long time being convinced by his friends that he was not a bad person inside, and perhaps, they were right. But if they were…

Why did he enjoy talking to you about this stuff so much? Was it because these secrets were a burden to him, even though his friends knew? He never told them the details so perhaps, talking about killing people and hurting them in detail with you helped him in some twisted, cathartic way. Whatever it was, he was certain that he was getting addicted to watching you get impressed by his knowledge about such things he claimed was from years of his surgery practice, and he was also ashamedly addicted about how unhinged you sounded when you talked about the criminals in your fiction.

He was positive you couldn’t be an undercover-something. You couldn’t even hurt a fly, let alone a human. But the way you got excited when you talked in detail about a certain type of wound or method of torture… he often found himself zoning out and simply staring at you while you talked. Perhaps, he was the unhinged one, but he found you so attractive when you talked about what you loved writing about, and he was very close to asking you about what made you write such gory crime fiction novels. He would be breaking his own rule of not interfering in each other’s personal lives, but all rules be damned- he had to know what drove you to write all of this.

He was also pretty sure you weren’t as naive as you looked and probably found his habits weird. There was no way he could look redeemable after the knife incident. While you were gone the next day, he personally sanitised all of them because he was sure you were going to keep using those knives. He figured it turned out to be okay in the end- he had to change his murder weapons and method soon anyway. The police were starting to connect a few dots and he was sure they would come with a search warrant any day.

But perhaps, it was a good decision to have you in this house. If the police ever came, you could help with Yunho’s image. He felt guilty for using you for that purpose now that he was almost starting to care about you despite his principles but… in the end, it was all turning out to be good. All was well.

A bit too well, if he had to say, as he watched you get a little too chummy with Mingi and Wooyoung. You had done a good job at the fundraiser, having baked dozens of cookies and with some strange ribbon packaging you claimed was cute. He took care of the stall but you still brought a lot of decoration from the house to give it a personal touch, and not only the visitors but the staff were also impressed by your skills. Now that the event was done and you were wrapping up everything, Mingi and Wooyoung had casually joined you to help and to praise your work. Yunho didn’t miss the subtle glances they threw in his direction as if to tease him, and what could he say?

It was working.

“Are you gonna keep watching her like she’s your next target or are you going to make a move?”

Yunho shut his eyes in mild annoyance before looking to his right where Seonghwa stood with his trademark smile, nodding at the visitors who greeted him before they left. If anyone knew that behind the kind smile of the paeds doctor was one of the masterminds of their team that essentially rooted out the evil from the society… 

“I’d rather watch. I know Mingi or Wooyoung will say something stupid if I approach them now.”

Seonghwa chuckled at that. “She’s done a good job today. She’s extraordinary, Yunho.”

Yunho narrowed his eyes. “Don’t tell me that you two were discussing her novel when you took a break in the cafe.”

“You know what I think?” Seonghwa almost whispered as if letting him in on a secret. “If she was a part of our team, we could actually succeed in working with the police.”

“How?”

“Think about it,” he bowed at one of the elders who passed by. “Imagine her next work is about what we do. Crime fiction to others, but something the police could use to clean up our mess, yeah?”

Once again, Yunho was in awe of the way Seonghwa’s mind worked. “The police would use that to arrest us.”

“Or they would turn a blind eye and let us do their dirty work. Two sides of the coin,” Seonghwa patted Yunho’s back and left to join Hongjoong and Yunho considered what he had said. When he saw Mingi pick something out of your hair, though, he decided he’d had enough.

“Ah, you’re here,” Wooyoung had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Y/n, now is your time to tell us if you’d like to change your houseowner.”

“Nah, I’m good,” you grinned, meeting Yunho’s eyes who looked pleased to hear that. “This one is good at pretending I don’t exist so sometimes I feel like I own the house myself.”

Mingi laughed loudly at that and Yunho smiled in embarrassment. He was guilty, yes. When you noticed his ears getting red, you laughed. “I’m just kidding. I really couldn’t have a better person as a housemate.”

“You’re lying,” Wooyoung smacked your arm playfully and you put the last of the things in your duffel bag.

“You won’t understand,” you simply told Wooyoung and chanced a glance at Yunho who no longer looked embarrassed and offered to take your bag. You let him and said your goodbyes to the two, waving at the rest of the staff who told you to come again (with baked treats) and you followed Yunho to the parking lot. This time, you had made sure he had a spare helmet and when he noticed you grinning, he asked you what was so funny.

“Nothing, I’m just excited to ride your bike again,” you giggled like a kid. “I kind of have a thing for bikes.”

And there it was. Another reason Yunho felt his heart pound rather uncharacteristically. 

Perhaps, that was what prompted him to break one of his biggest rules and ask, “Would you like to have dinner somewhere… with me? You must be too tired to make dinner at home, and I know a quiet spot if you’re up for it- if not… that’s okay too, we could order something instead-”

He paused when he noticed your smile growing and he raised a brow in question. You wanted to tell him that he was rambling (which was cute as hell) but you only nodded. “I’d love to. You’re right, I’m tired- and a quiet spot sounds nice at this hour. I won’t say no to a longer bike ride too.”

Yunho chuckled at that as he put on his helmet. You followed and got on the bike behind him. “It’s not gonna be a short trip if you’re okay.”

“I’m good!” You assured and he told you to hang on tight as he started the heavy bike and started driving towards the darkening horizon. You put your hands on Yunho’s shoulders but as he sped on the emptier roads, you resorted to clutching the sides of his jacket and rested your head on his back, watching the view. You loved how quiet it got in your head at times like these and it almost made you wish this moment would never end.

You didn’t know how much time passed but finally, Yunho started slowing down and you looked up, finding yourself at the riverside. When he parked in an empty space, he got down first and helped you down. You took off your helmet and smoothened your hair, looking around. It seemed to be a remote spot that the tourists had not yet discovered and the pretty lightning bordering the sidewalk illuminated the benches at the distance and-

“Fried chicken!” You grinned. “I didn’t know what I was craving until I smelt it.”

Yunho smiled, motioning you to follow him. He led you inside where you placed your orders and you both decided to take one of the tables outside. There weren’t many people here anyway so you were going to enjoy the cool river breeze.

Now that you sat in front of him, it finally settled in that you were outside with Yunho for the first time. That he offered to take you out for dinner. It didn’t help that he looked absolutely dreamy with his dark hair falling messily on his forehead and his shoulder looking even broader in the black jacket he wore, and when he ran a hand through his hair, swiping it away from his forehead-

He met your eyes and you realised you had been staring. You awkwardly sipped your water and looked towards your left, urging yourself to focus on the sound of the waves instead of the sound of your erratic heartbeat. You cleared your throat. “How did you find this spot? It’s beautiful.”

“I used to live near here when I was little,” he smiled and you thought there was something sad about it. 

“Oh, your parents must still live around here then?” You wondered and when his smile fell, you knew you had asked a question you shouldn’t have. 

But to your surprise, he answered, “They passed away when I was in highschool. I had to move out soon, so I couldn’t come back here for a good few years.”

“Oh, I’m… sorry to hear that,” you said and he told you it was okay. “I can tell why this place is close to your heart though. It’s wonderful here.”

“Yeah, it is,” he said and you were glad your chicken arrived at that moment, breaking the awkwardness from your conversation. “How did today go? You’re quite popular at the clinic now.”

You grinned, “Nobody can resist chocolate chip cookies, apparently. Wooyoung said I helped raise a lot of money.”

“You did,” Yunho confirmed and you both took a bite of the chicken. You groaned in appreciation.

“I don’t know if it's the river or the vibe,” you said after swallowing the first bite. “But doesn’t the chicken taste so good here?”

“There’s a reason I brought you here,” he laughed at the way you stared at the chicken. “Good food and a killer view.”

It took you both a few pieces to get comfortable and this time, when you asked him about the clinic and all his friends, he answered all your questions. You learned that Yunho and Mingi were school friends and Yunho met Hongjoong at the end of highschool. Their group expanded over the years and today, after years of studying and working together, they had their own place. 

Yunho also asked you about your recent progress and you complained about your publishers. He then asked where you were originally from and he learned that you were from a small town at the outskirts of the city and had a younger brother but your relationship with your family was a bit strained so you didn’t visit them often. He also found that you didn’t have many friends, just a few you met annually. He realised then why it was so easy for you to get comfortable with Wooyoung and Mingi- perhaps, they reminded you of your friends, or maybe you missed normal human interaction. 

As you finished eating, you asked him what urged him to really bring you here tonight. Yunho looked at you as if to make you reconsider your question but when you held your front, he finally gave in. “Just wanted to say thanks.”

“For what?”

“For everything,” he shrugged. “You do a lot. I haven’t done anything in return.”

“Uh, forty percent off?”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Just accept the sentiment and shut up.”

“Yes sir,” you saluted and he paid the bill, insisting it was his treat even though you asked to split the bill. “Well, if you won’t let me pay, maybe we can walk a little before we go?”

“That makes no sense, but okay,” Yunho said, shaking his head in amusement and you took the lead, going towards the edge to peek down at the river and then you started your stroll.

“Isn’t it nice to get some fresh air?” You commented, taking a deep breath. “No worries, just the river and us.” 

Yunho nodded silently and you grinned. “If you have more spots like these… don’t hide them from me.”

“Just this one,” he admitted and you nodded, satisfied. “What about you? Do you have a spot like this?”

You had… until everything went horribly wrong. You had a place so close to your heart that you hadn’t visited in years-

“You okay?” Yunho asked worriedly, having noticed your smile drop.

“Uh, yeah,” you pursed your lips. “I had one. I don’t go there anymore- bad memories.”

“Ah… sorry I asked-”

“It’s okay,” you assured. “If I grow the guts one day… I’ll take you there.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Just shut up and accept the offer,” you winked at him and he grinned at your statement. You noticed you had already walked around the area, the parking lot in your vision now. Before you could walk towards it, Yunho called your name, making you pause in your tracks.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure?”

“Did you mean it when you said… earlier at the clinic…” Yunho put his hands in his pockets awkwardly, trying to phrase it better. “When you-”

“When I said you were a good housemate?” You asked, internally smiling because you just knew he would end up asking you to elaborate. “I meant it.”

“Why? I have been anything but nice.”

“That’s a lie,” you pointed out. “Just because you have a few rules you’re strict about doesn’t mean you’re not nice company when you’re in a good mood. And you answer all my weird questions without judgement!” You clapped your hands. “What more could I ask for?”

When you saw that he didn’t look convinced, you took a deep breath. “To be honest, my life was falling apart before I moved in with you. Everything started going wrong at the same time. It was too much and I really thought I would have to go back to my hometown- and I would go anywhere but there. So when we made a deal? Yes, I thought you were strange at first but I couldn’t complain, and now that we’ve… warmed up to each other a bit, you’re not bad company at all, Yunho. You may still be an asshole about your rules,” you laughed and he joined, the corners of his lips curving downwards- was he flustered? “But I can see why the people at the clinic like you. You’re quite dependable.”

“That’s…”

“Too much?” You laughed. “In short, you gave me a nice deal and my life is finally back to normal, and you’re a good person, you idiot. That’s all I’m saying.”

“I think you’re getting a little too comfortable with me though…”

“Yeah?” You walked towards the bike. “Says the guy who basically took me on a date.”

And there it was again- the flustered smile of his that was so endearing, the ears turning red and the nervous laugh as he wondered what to do, where to look. You laughed out loud, finding it quite funny.

“You’re a very easy prey, Dr. Jeong,” you teased. “Quite easy to get to.”

“Did you really think of this as a date?” He held his helmet, waiting for your answer and you thought about it.

“Platonic date?” You wondered. “Outing? Icebreaking party? Whatever you wanna name it…”

You faltered when he stepped closer and looked down at you, scanning your face. Suddenly, you were so conscious of the proximity between you two. The dim lights made his gaze look darker and you wished you could take a peak in his mind. He brought his hand up and tucked your hair behind your ear ever so gently, lightly caressing your cheek-

And then he poked you in the middle of the forehead, making you wince out loud.

“I’m still the grumpy mysterious owner,” he quoted what you had said to Wooyoung today and you gaped at him, wondering if he had heard the entirety of the conversation. “So don’t get too ahead of yourself, okay?”

You rubbed your forehead, muttering okay and complaining about how he could have just said so. But when you wore your helmet and settled down behind him, clutching at the sides of his jacket, he held your hands in his and you couldn’t even digest how his big hands engulfed your small ones before he wrapped your arms around his waist.

“It’s better this way- I’m speeding,” he said.

“I really don’t get you, Yunho,” you told him and he cast you a glance before starting to drive, speeding as promised. You were pretty sure he wouldn’t have cared if you held on to the sides of his jacket like earlier or his shoulders for dear life but… 

But you wouldn’t complain. So you rested your head against his back again, bodies flush against each other and you let yourself feel whatever you were feeling for the ride back home.

—---------------------------- 

It was a good day today- somewhat productive because you were almost done writing your book and the editor was pleased with your work too. Yunho was having dinner with his colleagues tonight so you decided not to cook and just have the leftovers from yesterday for dinner then and went to your room to finally sort out the mess you had been avoiding ever since you moved in-

The books.

While you had lined all your books along the walls, creating towers of them that you were scared would one day fall on you if you ever made a clumsy mistake, you had realised that perhaps it was time you let go of some of the books. You could already feel your heart being broken at the thought but your room was starting to look too congested compared to the rest of the spacious house so you would have to make a little sacrifice. 

So you spent hours sorting through the books and almost didn’t hear Yunho coming downstairs until he knocked on your room, eyes widening at the books around you.

“Yeah, I know I’m a mess,” you said. “Are you leaving?” 

“Yeah,” Yunho nodded, laughing in what seemed to be shock. “Do you need… help?”

“No, I’m just sorting them out,” you dismissed, though surprised at the offer. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Yunho was still lingering at the doorway. “Well, I don’t know when I’ll be back, so…”

“Have fun,” you looked at him, grinning. “I’ll be fine. This is something I do annually.”

“If you say so. Don’t get lost in there,” he teased and you rolled your eyes, shooing him away. 

And that was that. You didn’t even realise how much time passed- you kept getting distracted as you held each book in hand and recalled the memories associated with it. It was only when the doorbell rang that you frowned, checking the clock. It was 09:47 pm- who could it be? Not Yunho- he had his keys. Maybe the woman from next door?

But when you opened the door to two grown men with badges around their necks, you did a quick scan, realising two things- that they were detectives, and one of the faces was way too familiar.

“Good evening, miss,” the younger one said. “We’re Detectives Lee and Seo from the station-”

“Y/n?” The older one- the familiar face called your name and suddenly, it clicked-

It clicked. Everything you had buried deep inside you, somewhere so deep that you hadn’t thought about it in perhaps a year, was suddenly out and washing over you like a wave of cold water. Everything from about two decades ago started flashing in front of your eyes and you gulped down the thing stuck in your throat with immense effort. 

“Detective Seo?” Your voice sounded small even to your ears. 

“It’s been a while,” he looked as confused as you. “I didn’t expect to see you here- doesn’t this house belong to a Doctor Jeong Yunho?”

“You’re right,” you told him. “I live on the first floor on rent.”

“I see… Can we come in then?”

“If you’re here to meet Dr. Jeong, he’s not home right now-”

“We can wait,” he told you. “Besides… it’s been a while- won’t you invite us for tea?”

“You can’t just visit so late at night and expect tea,” you folded your arms, finally getting a grip. “What is the purpose of your visit, really?”

“We really needed a statement, or anything from the doctor,” Detective Seo said. “Let us wait for him for half an hour, and then we’ll leave.”

You considered kicking them out but then figured they could wait. Yunho would probably be late and they would have to go back after half an hour without anything. Plus, it didn’t look like Detective Seo was about to budge anytime soon. The other detective also looked intrigued and you gave in, allowing them to the living room though just like two decades ago, Detective Seo made a point of roaming around-

“That your room?” He pointed at the mess of books and you stifled the urge to pass a biting remark.

“Yes, I was a little busy as you can probably see. Please, take a seat.”

While you asked Detective Lee if he would like some tea, you kept an eye on the older detective who was now looking around the living room. You turned on the kettle- there was no way you were going to serve them the fancier teas you had. They would have to make do with teabags.

“How long since you moved here?”

“Is that related to your current investigation?” You asked and he scoffed.

“Come on, y/n. Don’t act like we’re strangers here. Are you still in contact with your family?”

And there it was.

“Not really,” you simply said. “I moved out for college and only visit annually.”

“How’s your mother doing?”

Your mother. Your brother. The people who destroyed you.

“She’s okay, probably,” you said. Your voice was already starting to crack, and that was not a good sign. The kettle turned off and you poured the boiling water carefully into the cups, wondering if Yunho returning early would make things better or worse.

“I moved here around that time too,” he said, taking the cup from you with thanks and after giving the other to Detective Lee, you went to stand near the kitchen, folding your arms again. “I visit a lot though. I heard your brother got into a good college.”

“Yeah, well,” you pursed your lips. “I suppose he did.”

“Do you still blame yourself for what happened back then?”

You pretended to not hear that question and asked the detective to take a seat. It was getting annoying now that he walked casually towards the kitchen, scanning the notes stuck on the fridge- Yunho’s “eat your dinner pls” that you only noticed now, your to-do list and grocery list, and the silly magnets. He made a face and placed his empty cup on the sink-

And then he spotted the knife holder.

“That’s a lot of knives,” he commented.

“I cook. A lot,” you said, wishing you had made that teabag tea for yourself too- anything to keep you from squirming. The detective looked at you suspiciously before taking his hand out of his pocket-

“Do not touch my knives, Detective,” you glared at him. “Can you please get out of the kitchen and wait in the living room?”

“I’m just looking,” he dismissed you and to your annoyance, took out one of the knives to examine, and then the other, then the other-

“I said, do not touch my knives.”

Yunho, who was standing outside the house near the kitchen window that was slightly ajar so he could hear everything, felt his heart swell in pride and admiration- he had never heard you state anything as strongly before. He contained in his sigh of relief, wondering if now was the right time to barge in.

Truth be told, he had spotted their car as soon as he entered the street and at first he thought that you had broken one of the rules and invited someone but upon a closer look, he realised with dread that the car belonged to the detectives who had just recently connected one of the cases with his clinic. He parked his bike in the garage and when he heard voices from the kitchen window, he went to eavesdrop and realised that they had just entered.

“No need to get so angry over some kitchen knives,” Detective Seo’s voice was stern. “What do you need so many for anyway? Are they yours?”

“I’m the only one who can cook,” you were seething now. “And what’s it to you?”

“Well, this one looks oddly familiar.”

“Yeah? It’s for cutting vegetables, Detective. I bet your wife owns it too- if you have one. That one’s for dicing, the one on top for fish because I feel like it remains stinky so it’s only for fish. You have a problem with that?”

Yunho stifled a smile- you were rambling now. He wondered why you didn’t simply tell them that they were his knives originally. He was positive the detectives would be connecting the dots right away and going back for an arrest warrant-

“Well, you see,” Detective Seo picked the longest knife out. “This one?”

“For meat,” you muttered. 

“This one matches the murder weapon in the case we’re investigating,” he looked at you. “12 inches, dull but sharpened far too many times.”

“Yeah?” You scoffed. “So someone’s committed murder with a kitchen knife? They’re a genius.”

“How so?”

“Who doesn’t own a kitchen knife?” You almost cried. “They’re probably making a fool out of you, go back to your home and look in your kitchen. You probably have a 12 inch dull meat knife too.”

“How would you know?” Detective Lee asked this time. “That they’re making a fool out of us?”

“Why else would they use such an inconvenient weapon? Either for the thrill, or to make a fool out of you. Or both. Just… put the knife back, okay?”

“You’ve always been an odd one, and you always knew way too much,” Detective Seo put the knife back but narrowed his eyes at you. “Where were you on the 17th around midnight?”

“Around midnight, every day of every year for the past few years, I’ve been home. And I hope you go raiding everyone’s kitchen now that you know what your murder weapon looks like. Also, why are you even here? To investigate me? Again?”

“We came for Dr. Jeong-”

“You think he goes around committing murder only to operate on them later in his clinic? He’s a doctor, for Christ’s sake,” you shut your eyes, feeling a burning sensation in both your throat and eyes. “Please, leave. You can meet Dr. Jeong elsewhere- I’ll ask him to contact you.”

“And why are you getting so jittery?” Detective Seo asked. “Is there something you’re hiding again? Someone you’re protecting again? Or are you just protecting yourself-”

Yunho couldn’t take it anymore- he’d heard enough, and the whimper that left you made his vision dark for a moment. Rushing to the front door, he unlocked it and entered, shutting it a bit loudly to prove a point-

And saw you standing in the middle of the room, curling in on yourself, eyes weary. If hearing you sound like that wasn’t enough, having to look at you in this state was worse and he wished he had acted earlier. He didn’t know what took over him but he rushed to you and wrapped you in his arms-

And when you buried your face in his chest, relaxing instantly in his grasp, red hot anger ran through his veins as he assessed the detectives who stood awkwardly around him.

“How dare you make my girl cry?” He almost growled, wrapping his arms tighter, almost possessively around you. “What are you doing here?”

Detective Seo shook his head in disbelief and Detective Lee took the lead. “We came to talk to you about a few things- it’s very hard to reach you-”

“So you come barging into my house and bombard someone unrelated with questions and make her cry?” Yunho scoffed. “A phone call? Summoning me to the station? Or at least a search warrant, which I bet you don’t have, just like before. Shall I report you for misconduct?”

“Come on, don’t be like that,” Detective Seo finally butted in. “Y/n and I were just catching up- we’re actually acquaintances-”

You shook your head in Yunho’s grasp to let him know that you did not want to be a part of this ‘catching up’ and Yunho patted your back.

“She says otherwise,” Yunho caressed your hair. “I don’t care if you’ve met before. You’re clearly unwanted. Please, leave. You have my number, you can contact me later, but do not make the mistake of coming here again. And do not try to make contact with her again.”

Shrugging, the detectives left, Detective Lee muttering a silent apology on behalf of them both. When you heard the doors sound shut, you tried getting out of Yunho’s grasp to let him know he didn’t need to do that anymore-

But he only deepened the hug, leaning down this time to hold you better and you sighed at that. He rocked you gently back and forth, all the while caressing your head gently as if he meant to lull you to some calm space- and oh, was he successful. You were no longer crying.

Hesitantly, he broke away a bit to see if you were okay. Your eyes fluttered open, a bit red from crying and he cupped your face, wiping your tears.

“Why did you let them in, y/n?”

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay,” he assured you. “Did they force themselves inside?”

“Not really, but they were insisting on coming inside and waiting,” you sniffed. “Detective Seo- the older one… he knows me from when I was a kid and he started to get a bit too comfortable-”

“I know,” he told you and when you frowned in confusion, he said, “I actually heard a bit of it while I was parking.”

“A bit?”

“Most of it,” he admitted, breaking into a smile. “You did not have to defend my kitchen knives with all your might, y/n.” 

You chuckled at that. “I don’t know, I got so angry! He kept walking around and it was annoying me so much- I thought giving him tea would make him sit, but no, he had to walk around with a cup in his hand-”

Yunho shook with laughter, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re too adorable at times.”

“And… I can’t believe I’m hearing the word adorable come out of your mouth,” you looked at him in disbelief. “Who are you? And where is Dr. Jeong?”

“It’s just Yunho,” he smiled and you smiled back, spending a moment just looking at him and realising that you were still way too close, in his arms, your heart fluttering uncontrollably. 

“Well… just Yunho,” you said, your hands on his waist feeling clammy. “Thank you for coming at the right time. And thank you for… what you did.”

Yunho took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

You pursed your lips, looking away. You could not answer that, because even if you lied to him, you would break down anyway. Detective Seo had opened the dam of unwanted, ugly memories and you were definitely not okay. You wouldn’t be for a while now-

But it looked like Yunho had made it his life’s mission to make sure you would feel okay. He brought you back in a hug and this time, you didn’t cry. You simply wrapped your arms around his waist better and listened to the sound of his heartbeat which somehow calmed you. To your surprise, he planted a kiss on the top of your head before he squeezed you in assurance.

You broke away to look at him. “What’s got you so… clingy and fluffy all of a sudden? Not that I don’t like it, but…”

Yunho tucked your hair away from your face, kissing your forehead this time and pretending he hadn’t heard that. It wasn’t the first time he got a closer look at you yet he committed everything to memory as if it was his first time seeing you. He couldn’t answer your question either, because…

He was pretty sure he had fallen for you a little when he heard you earlier. The way you never let the detectives think about him for even a second when you were being cornered with the knives- he was absolutely sure that you had not done that unintentionally. Sure, he had initially thought that if he ever got in trouble with the police, you could make a good cover, but now you had protected him on purpose. He would ask you about that, but first…

“Did you eat dinner?”

“Uh… no. I forgot.”

Yunho shook his head in disappointment. “I go away for one meal and you forget to eat.”

You pouted and he led you to the chair, making you sit. He poured a glass of water for you and after you drank it, he asked if you made something today. You told him you didn’t cook today and he sighed.

“So you only cook for me?”

“I like cooking… and I like cooking for you,” you pouted again, feeling exposed.

“But not cooking for yourself?” Yunho asked, making you look at him. “Why won’t you cook for yourself?”

You shrugged. You didn’t have an answer for that. 

“Well, I’m not a good cook, but I’ll see what I can do…” he got up and you told him he did not have to, that what he did for you tonight was enough, but he told you to shut up and opened the fridge, taking out the kimchi and then looking through the cabinets-

“Ramyeon sounds good? That’s one thing I can cook well,” he grinned.

You nodded, getting comfortable and watching him roll his sleeves before he washed his hands in the sink, drying them with the blue bunny towel and then you stopped noticing what he was doing and instead noticed the veins on his arms, the faded scar near the elbow that probably ran up his upper arm, his broad shoulders and narrow waist, the dark hair that curled at the nape of his neck-

And those beautiful, beautiful hands that were now setting the pot on the table. You blinked, coming back to reality, and thanked him for the meal. He watched you eat for a few moments before he said, “I’m sorry you had to go through what you did today. It’s my fault.”

“Yunho,” you sighed, “It’s not.”

“It is,” he shook his head. “The detectives seemed to have created some ambiguous connection between me and their recent murder case. The victim used to be my patient, so they’ve been trying to visit me for a while but I kept putting it off- I really don’t like when they visit my workplace-”

“Of course,” you nodded. “No one would like that. You don’t have to explain it to me, Yunho. You don’t have to tell me anything-”

“Forget the rules,” he clicked his tongue in annoyance. “I want to explain because you can’t just put yourself between me and the detectives. How could you try to protect me without knowing what’s going on? And don’t try to deny that you weren’t doing exactly that.”

You took a bite and thought about it while you chewed. Once you swallowed, you answered. “I’ve known Detective Seo for twenty years. I’ve known you for what? Four months? Five? Guess who I trust more out of the two.”

Yunho looked away, somewhat in disbelief but again, overwhelmed by the way his heart was fluttering and his stomach was in knots. “Even when I’ve given you nothing?”

“It’s enough- I don’t need to hear your life story to trust you,” you finished eating the noodles. “I know who you are, and that’s enough.”

Yunho sighed internally- Wooyoung had warned him of this. He had practically manifested it. He had told Yunho that the way he talked about you and the way he treated you were very different and he needed to start manning up and ignoring whatever he was feeling inside. That had been in the earlier months. And now?

You claimed you knew him. What did you know, really? The person who set strict rules and got angry when he thought you broke one of them and made you cry? The doctor who got angry at you for bringing a patient to his clinic and later thanking you because you saved her from something worse? The person who took you to the place he loved yet told you nothing about it? What did you really know-

“I know you,” you began and Yunho wondered if he had said those thoughts out loud. “You’re the person who I thought was an asshole but I trusted because you… you have the kindest eyes. Even when you almost stabbed me to death-”

“That’s on you overthinking-”

“Yeah, I’m joking,” you laughed. “But… you get what I mean. I don’t need to know who you were, I know who you are. The doctor who’s too busy to take care of himself and his space. The person who’s everyone’s favourite at the clinic. The house owner who’s actually quite funny but takes a while to open up. The friend who helps me with my work in so many more ways than he realises. And… the man who is surprisingly protective and caring.”

Yunho buried his face in his hands- he couldn’t look at you now. He couldn’t-

“I don’t know why you keep holding yourself back, but can I ask what prompted you to do whatever you did earlier? You didn’t have to hug me like that,” you drank the rest of the water in the glass, waiting but he didn’t look at you. “You didn’t have to call me ‘your girl’ and shoo them away. You can’t just do things like that and expect me to remain normal and pretend it didn’t happen the next day- because I’ve had enough too. I’ve had enough of you staring at me like I’m either someone you want to kill or someone you want to… do things to. Also, while we’re talking about that- and yes, I’m rambing, but you really need to stop touching me so casually- I hope you have a rule about that somewhere too-”

Yunho finally removed his hands from his face and locked eyes with you. When you didn’t look away, wondering if you were going to regret this, he got up, making your heart sink thinking you really had made an awful mistake this time-

And then he leaned down towards you and to your utter surprise, he pecked your lips gently- once, twice. And then he pulled away to lock eyes with your wide ones. 

“Can I take responsibility then? For my actions?”

When you nodded without realising that you had, he smiled, going around the table and sinking down to his knees. For you. You found your hands moving of their own accord, cupping his face with almost trembling hands for the first time and running a hand through his hair, finding them softer than you had imagined. You laughed in disbelief and knelt down to kiss his forehead- you didn’t have to kneel down much thanks to him being so tall. You joined your foreheads and just let that moment sink in, waiting for him to do something but it was as if he had completely submitted himself to you.

“Yunho,” you breathed, “Won’t you kiss me?”

All Yunho wanted was to obey. He tilted his head, your lips brushing and then he brought his hands to your bare knees, sending shivers through your entire being. While he caressed the skin, he pecked your lips cautiously and you almost cried at how hesitant he was. You took it upon yourself to lock your lips with his and that was all he needed to kiss you back, immediately taking lead and kissing you almost desperately as if he had waited a lifetime for this moment. You moved your lips along his, settling in a comfortable rhythm and you realised you quite liked the position-

But Yunho had other plans. He broke apart, gripping your legs in one arm and getting up, making you latch on to him with a squeal which earned a laugh from him as he settled you on the empty kitchen counter, now able to meet your eyes better. He stared at you intently for a few moments, his arms caging you between them and brought your arms to rest on his shoulders, linking them around his neck.

“I’d say something about how it took you way too long,” you kissed the tip of his nose. “But I’m afraid you’ll think I’ve always fantasised about this and leave me here and go in your cave.”

“Never again,” he promised, capturing your lips in a slow and gentle kiss. You had all the time in the world now and a morbid part of your mind wanted to thank Detective Seo for paying a visit tonight even though you despised him. Yunho swiped his tongue across your lips and you gladly opened up for him, the kiss getting heated as his tongue explored your mouth, clashing with your tongue. You couldn’t help but marvel how you both fit with each other so well. 

You didn’t know how long you made out like that. Neither did you care, but naturally, you both broke apart and shared a giggle. He opened his arms for you and you gladly hugged him- his hugs were probably your most favourite thing about life now. He laughed at how you wrapped yourself around him like a cat so that he didn’t even have to hold you, simply wrap his arms around your back as he walked to the living room but you muttered ‘my room’ and he obeyed, walking in that direction-

And halting.

“What do you want me to do? Throw you in the pool of books and make out? Might hurt a little…”

“Oh, goodness,” you twisted in his arms to see the mess that your room was in right now. “I was sorting out books because I really have no space anymore and I was going to give away some tonight-”

“But you could put them in the living room? The shelves have some space?”

You hadn’t even considered that. You looked at him. “Can I use that space?”

“I mean… you’ve taken over the whole floor anyway,” he shrugged. “What harm a few books are gonna do?”

You smacked his arm and he laughed, putting you down on the floor. “Well, I should clean my mess then. Don’t want you complaining about how unruly your housemate is.”

“I’ll help,” he insisted and you scoffed.

“There’s no space for you to set a foot-”

“Then make some.”

“Oh?” You shot him a dirty look. “No plans to leave?”

“Do you want me to leave?” He asked cockily and you shook your head, immediately shoving a few books away and making space on the rug where he settled down and pulled you down in his lap, snuggling his face in your neck.

“Tell me about these books,” he muttered, his breath caressing your neck and before you could comment on the position, he kissed your neck lazily.

Well… perhaps it was better to shut up and obey.

“They are a part of me,” you smiled, picking the nearest one and reading the title while he continued kissing and sucking at your neck. “This one I read recently. I think you’ll like it- it’s about doctors- ah.”

Yunho smiled against your neck when you squirmed in his grasp. He had been teasing your sweet spot for far too long now and finally got to hear your pretty moan. “Really? What’s it about?”

“Doctors,” you muttered, tilting your neck and he dived back in. “And the problems they face, the power dynamics- Jeong Yunho, I swear to god-”

Yunho laughed deeply against your skin, drawing away to observe the reddening spot. You tried shifting in his grasp but he held you in your position. “Tell me about another book.”

“Yeah?” You scoffed when he started peppering kisses along your shoulders. “What if I just smack you on the head with one?”

“Tsk, tsk. Already?”

You shifted in his lap successfully this time and before you could yell at him, he was kissing you on the lips again and as you melted in his hold, you tossed the book in your hand away to cup his face.

Sorting the books and cleaning the mess could definitely wait.

—-----------------------------

Though you and Yunho had crossed some obvious boundaries now, you were unsure how that would affect the rules of living in his house. You weren’t only his housemate now, so perhaps, the rules could change? 

You started wondering about that after a few days. You hadn’t made anything official yet- he was still working a lot and barely had any time for himself but whenever he got home, he would find you and wrap you in his arms while he asked you about your day. When you asked him the same, he would simply smile and say something like ‘just the usual’ or ‘busy day today’.

Nothing more. He probably recognised the look in your eyes- the look that said that you wanted more. Perhaps he ignored it on purpose. Perhaps, whenever he kissed you after, it was to make up for the lack of an answer.

If you thought about it objectively… you didn’t really mind. Work is work- what could doctors really share about their work? But you knew he wasn’t simply going to work, especially when  he sometimes came home looking like he had been running for miles or with blood on his clothes. Surely, doctors wore a gown or something while operating or handling patients. His lab coat never had blood on it, so why would he have blood on his clothes and why would he sometimes look like he got in a fight? He could definitely feel your apprehension even though you pretended to be okay about it. 

Perhaps, he liked you because you didn’t ask. That didn’t mean you weren’t curious- now more so than ever. It wasn’t like being whatever you were to him now gave you any right to probe, but you couldn’t help pay a visit to his clinic tonight and see if he was really working a night shift- he had gone out in a rush earlier muttering something about an emergency. You only went to make sure he was okay, was what you told yourself-

It was certainly not because of your growing suspicion of what he really did. Nor was it because you wanted to double-check how Detective Seo told you that Yunho’s clinic had separate staff for night shifts and he definitely didn’t need to be present every night. It definitely wasn’t because Yeosang slipped when he accidentally told you Yunho had no shift a few nights ago when Yunho himself had told you he had one. And it definitely was not how you suddenly realised one day while writing your novel that Yunho’s answers to your odd questions were a bit too specific- like when you asked him about being stabbed in a certain location with a certain weapon and he slept on it and had a rather specific answer the next day. His answers were always a bit too detailed.

You would have ignored all of it but you found yourself inside the clinic and learned from the kind lady at the reception who thought it was cute that you came to check on him that Yunho only had one night shift a week. But according to what he told you, he had night shifts five days a week. 

Just what was he doing?

You absently walked home and instead of writing, you just mindlessly cleaned the nooks and crannies in the living room, your mind too numb to think of possibilities. Perhaps, you needed to start defining things with Yunho- beginning with what your relationship was, exactly, and if it was more than housemates you both definitely needed to talk about a few things-

When you heard the door unlock, you looked at the time- it was almost 4 in the morning. You hadn’t realised how quickly time passed. Yunho entered, looking pretty much the same as he did when he left. You managed a smile and he told you he would be right back, rushing upstairs. You went to wash your hands in the meantime, wondering if you should ask him- would he be angry to learn you went out looking for him? Would he appreciate your concern, or would he shut himself away like he has always done-

“Y/n?” Yunho’s voice brought you back to your senses and you realised you had been zoning out in front of the sink, the tap still running water. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired,” you told him, drying your hands and going towards the kitchen to get yourself water. You needed to get a grip.

“You don’t look okay,” Yunho’s brows were furrowed in concern. “Did something happen while I was away?”

“I promise I’m fine,” you said, though you were sure your smile was still unconvincing- or maybe Yunho was just too good at looking right through you. “How was your night shift? Did you get a lot of patients tonight?”

“It was okay,” Yunho exhaled deeply. “A few. Not too busy.”

You nodded slowly. For a moment, you wondered if he was doing night shifts in a different workplace. Perhaps, he had never lied and you just hadn’t figured out that he had jobs at two different places-

“You’re staring,” Yunho commented, tilting his head in thought. You broke eye contact, scanning his clothes- as neat as when he left for ‘work’. “You didn’t meet Detective Seo, did you?”

“No, why?”

“That’s the only time I’ve seen you look like this. Come on, you’re making me worried,” Yunho took a step closer, tucking your hair behind your ear. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” you laughed, deciding to tackle at least one thing tonight. “You’ll make fun of me or you'll shut yourself in your cave.”

“You need to stop calling it a cave,” Yunho laughed a bit.

“Until I see it, it’s a cave to me,” you shrugged. “Who knows what you do there?”

“You want to see it?” He asked, absently caressing your cheekbone and your eyes widened.

“That… is not what I meant- I’m curious, yes, but I don’t want to invite myself up there.”

“Well,” Yunho put his hands on your shoulders. “It looks horrible right now- it’s messy and if I bring you upstairs, you’ll forget you’re tired and start cleaning the mess. Some other day?”

“Whenever is okay, it’s probably boring and plain,” you said dismissively and he nodded in satisfaction. 

“Then what is really weighing on your mind?”

“Shit, I thought you forgot about it,” you muttered but he wasn’t going to let you go. His grip on your shoulders tightened a fraction. “Look, I’m not trying to be that person and I really, really don’t mind how we are and what we are-”

“Get to the point-”

“What are we?” 

Yunho blinked. “Sorry, what?”

“What are we?” You sighed. “I love what we are. I don’t mind it one bit, but I feel like we’re still housemates and there’s still this wall between us and if that’s how things should be… I can work with that. I just… I wish there wasn’t such ambiguity- stop grinning like an idiot, will you?”

“Well,” Yunho stifled another grin. “What do you think we are?”

“I don’t know,” you pouted. “That’s what I’m asking.”

“I don’t know,” Yunho shrugged, straightening and bringing you closer so you were almost flush against him. “I don’t think we’d be doing this if we were ‘just housemates’.”

“My point exactly,” you muttered. “I’m confused. What rules still apply? Can I interfere in your personal life? Can I ask you more than I should? There’s still so much I don’t know about you and sometimes I feel like you’re miles away, Yunho.”

Yunho’s heart ached- he wanted nothing more than to bare his entire soul in front of you. He had considered that seriously over the past few days. He was pretty sure if anyone in this world would understand his reasons for what he did and still want to be with him, it would be you, but what if he was wrong about you? What if he had signed himself to an inevitable heartbreak? If so, how could he ever recover?

“I’m right here,” Yunho kissed your forehead. “You can ask me anything but can I answer at my pace?”

That was enough. You nodded and he smiled, pecking your lips. “Thank you.”

“I’ll wait for you,” you told him. “And I know you’re curious about a few things too- you can ask me anything and I’ll answer at my own pace. Okay?”

Yunho couldn’t help it- he cupped your face and kissed you, wondering how you were so perfect. How could you trust him like this? He sometimes wondered if he was dreaming- there was no way you were real. And he told you that every day, just like he did now, and just like always, you smacked his arm as you blushed.

“You should tell me something else- I’m kind of tired of hearing that,” you laughed. 

“Nothing else makes you laugh like this,” Yunho kissed you again, lingering. “You know I love it when you laugh.”

You kissed him back, forgetting all your worries and you felt the exhaustion wash away from your bones as he bent down to pick you up so he could kiss you better. You wrapped your arms around his neck and let him take you to the living room- to the couch which was probably your favourite place in this house now, where Yunho and you would spend hours with each other.

As he settled you down on the couch, he broke apart and locked eyes with you. “Well, do you still think we’re just housemates?”

“God, you really got stuck on that one, huh?” You poked his chest. “Okay. You’re what? My boyfriend?”

Yunho’s lips parted and a smile crawled on his lips. “I kind of like the sound of that.”

“Geez, have you never been in a relationship,” you teased and he laughed out loud. 

“Just not like this one, no,” he traced your lips with his thumb. “You’re… different.”

“Bet you told that to everyone before me,” you scoffed and he pecked your lips to shut you up. You smiled into the kiss, your hands wandering down his chest and stopping at his hips, snaking up his shirt on his bare skin which earned a light groan from him. You instinctively squeezed his side-

And he stopped kissing you right then. You wondered if you had done something wrong and when you drew apart, you realised he looked as if he was in pain. You frowned, your hands still there while Yunho stifled another groan and when you pressed on both his sides, he finally exhaled-

“You’re hurt, aren’t you?” You whispered, drawing his shirt up without permission and gasping when you saw a big red bruise on his right side as if he had been punched.

“Y/n,” Yunho called in warning but you weren’t having any of it anymore- you pulled his shirt up and if Yunho hadn’t been bracing himself up on either sides of you to keep himself from falling on top of you, he would have stopped you, but now you were staring at his upper body in horror and worry.

You let go of the shirt and it fell down to cover his secrets. You looked at Yunho who couldn’t meet your eyes. “Won’t you let me help you? Won’t you let me take care of you?”

Yunho simply sighed, wondering what to do, what to say. He knew this day would come eventually but he hadn’t imagined it to be like this. He let you gently push him back on the couch and without a word, you went to your room. He slumped down, rubbing his face-

Of all the days, it had to be today. Had to be tonight when he made a mistake and hurt himself. You reappeared out of your room with a medical kit and settled down next to him.

“You’re the doctor, Yunho,” you said and showed him the ointments and medicines in the kit, noticing a number of scars on his body and finally getting a good look at the scar that ran up his arm all the way to the middle of his upper arm. “Tell me how to take care of you.”

Yunho passed you a look, finding the lack of expressions on your face kind of disturbing. Just what were you thinking? He sighed and took out the ointment for the bruise- one he had in his room as well and would have used had he not been distracted by you. You nodded and took the ointment, spreading it along his bruise and gently rubbing it in. Once done, you got up and inspected the rest of his upper body.

“Are you sure that’s the only place you’re hurt?” 

“Yep,” he assured you. “You can relax now.”

You scoffed at that, putting the kit aside and folding your arms as you looked at him. “Look… If you don’t want me to, I won’t ask, but you’re not just a doctor. I’m right about that, aren’t I?”

When he didn’t respond, you understood. You were right, and he probably couldn’t say anything. “Do you trust me, Yunho?”

“Y/n, it’s not about trust-”

“Just tell me- do you trust me?”

He locked eyes with you. “Of course I do. If I didn’t… I would have kicked you out long ago, y/n, and I would have never....”

That seemed to satisfy you and when he found the faintest hint of a smile on your lips, he finally relaxed a bit. “I trust you, but there are things I cannot tell you- not right now.”

“I know,” you nodded. “You can stop lying about your night shifts- just say you’re going somewhere. I won’t ask until you tell me.”

Yunho blinked in surprise- just how long ago had you figured him out?

“Also… I would appreciate it if the next time you get hurt, you let me know instead of surprising me like this.”

“Do you… know something you’re not telling me, y/n?”

You smiled at Yunho. If he wasn’t so genuine with his words and his feelings, you would have demanded answers, but what you had with him was special in its own way. No questions asked wasn’t such a bad rule- because you knew that when he answered your questions, you would have to answer his too.

“Do I? I don’t know,” you shrugged. “But I have a feeling that you and I aren’t so different, Yunho.”

Yunho wished he could tell you who he was- his friends insisted he was not a ‘murderer’ like he would often call himself but a vigilante. A hero to most, an enemy to the others- especially the police who had been on his tail for a while now. How could you possibly be the same as him? He had killed people with his own hands, and though it could be argued that he only killed the worst of criminals, if Hongjoong hadn’t been there the night his parents were killed, he could very well be in prison for attempted murder or worse. 

All these years, as he killed one corrupted individual after another, he was convinced that he was the one who was truly corrupted inside. He was the one who needed to meet the fate that anyone who encountered him did. His friends, especially Hongjoong, were aware that there was a twisted part inside him that took joy in the simple act of killing people- people who stole from others. Stole their loved ones, their life, their hard work. You couldn’t possibly be as bad as him, could you? There was absolutely no way-

“Stop thinking so much,” you whispered, placing your hand on his and he immediately shifted so he was holding your hand, squeezing it as if he needed some assurance. “I just want you to be careful, okay? Whatever you do… stay safe, will you?”

“How can you trust me so blindly?” Yunho asked. 

“I told you, right?” You smiled. “I know who you are- at least to me. That’s enough for me.”

Yunho smiled back, burying his face in the crook of your neck and you wrapped your arm around his bare shoulders, burying your hand in his hair and caressing them gently. You let go of Yunho’s hand only to trace the long scar on his arm, wishing you could ask how he got it but you would wait. You kissed his temple and he sighed, nuzzling against you. 

“I’m afraid…” Yunho confessed in a voice so small you were wondering if you were hearing things. “I’m afraid you’ll run away when you learn who I am.”

Your heart sank at his words. He was just like you. In all your previous relationships, you made people run away from you. You could never give them what you wanted. They would find you too secretive or too accepting. Little did they know that you were only hiding your ugly past and trying your best not to let it interfere with your life. 

“You couldn’t possibly be worse than me,” you told him and that prompted him to lift his head to look at you. “I’m convinced I’m a monster. Could you love a monster, Yunho?”

Yunho took in your blank gaze as you said those words and he realised that perhaps, you were right. Perhaps, you were just like him too, with some twisted part inside you, something that had you convinced that you were a monster. 

And if that was the case… he could love you. He wanted nothing more than to love you and tell you that you made him feel human even at his worst, so he leaned forward to kiss you slowly, letting you know what he felt through the way he held your waist and brought you on top of him, through the way he held you so close to him and sighed when you wrapped your arms around his, through the way he started trailing kisses everywhere on your skin. And when you gave him more, he accepted it. If that was the last time you would ever look at him and not feel horrified, he was going to make sure he made you feel loved so he forgot about all his worries and smiled at you playfully, beyond relieved when you bit your lips in excitement.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Yunho whispered, sucking at your neck- he had a thing for that certain spot, you had realised now.

“We haven’t even begun, though,” you commented and Yunho paused, considering your words. He experimentally snaked his hand up your thigh and when you only kissed his temple in response, he understood.

An invitation.

“Shall we take this to bed, then?”

You nodded, sharing an open-mouthed kiss before he got up and started going towards your room.

If only he knew that your invitation was for the same reasons as his.

—---------------------------

For all your talk about trust, you sure were walking on the fine line that marked trust from betrayal. 

And if things hadn’t turned out the way they had been turning out for the past two weeks, you would have never been here. You scoffed internally as you took another turn into a dark alley, a safe distance behind Yunho so he wouldn’t notice your presence- anything to convince yourself that you were only doing this to make sure he would be safe. To make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself again-

Because you had a gut feeling that something was going to happen tonight, and your gut was never, ever wrong. Your gut had saved (or doomed, it could be argued) you two decades ago. You could trust yourself with that.

Though, again, that was debatable as well. Was it your gut that had you all nervous and hypervigilant or was it the growing suspicions about Yunho?

Because a few days ago, Detective Seo called you and requested that you visit the station. You would have ignored him had he not been so polite for once. Ultimately, the reason you visited him was because you wanted to clear his suspicions of you and get him off your tail- you had finally settled in this town at peace and you couldn’t have the detective ruining that. 

And also, a small part of you wanted to learn more about why he suspected Yunho. 

You discovered during your visit that you were right- your involvement in his investigation of Yunho made him suspicious of you. You learned that the reason he was so intent on having Yunho come to the station and give a proper statement was because a few of his alibis no longer held any validity- he had said something about a night shift when he had none. The detective didn’t like how the doctors and a few of the staff members around him were so uncooperative and secretive. If that wasn’t enough, the detective was still curious about the 12-inch knife in your kitchen. 

He joked about how he or his colleagues didn’t own a 12-inch meat knife at home- apparently a non-professional one was usually 7 to 10 inches long. You told him that it was irrelevant but when he mentioned how his suspect had stopped using kitchen knives a few months ago and switched to a dagger of a unique built, it had you wondering-

The detective didn’t know those knives actually belonged to Yunho, which was why he was also suspecting you now. What if you told him? What if the timing of the change of the murder weapon matched?

You only asked the detective if he really believed you were capable of wielding daggers and he shook his head in denial. You then asked if he really thought the surgeon could be a suspect in his case.

“I can’t tell you what it is, but we have substantial evidence to keep an eye on him, at least. If it’s him, he’s not alone.”

And that’s what got you thinking if you were wrong about who Yunho and his friends were. Especially when only a couple days later you went to visit them at the clinic with some fresh cookies and you got a peek at the register at reception that had a schedule of all doctors and you learned that Yunho had no night shift for the rest of the week-

Only to find him lying about it and hearing the news about the murder of a renowned politician while he was god knows where.

You didn’t ask Yunho why he lied about the night shift because he had agreed not to make up that excuse again. You casually confirmed with Wooyoung if he had really been at the clinic that night and he told you he had, but you weren’t done there. You double-checked with the young girl at reception in the clinic- she was quite a fan of your cookies and now that she knew you and Yunho were close, she willingly confirmed that Yunho had indeed not been at the clinic that night. Neither had any of his friends. 

You wished you could simply confront Yunho and ask but he was still hesitant. And really, you would have let everything be. You would have waited for him, but tonight? 

Tonight he told you he was going to the clinic to meet up with Wooyoung and give him some company during his boring night shift. Pretty believable, but your gut twisted as soon as he stepped out and you knew that you just had to make sure that he was going to the clinic. You covered yourself with a jacket and scarf, grabbed the keys and wore your shoes-

Changing your mind and going to the kitchen to grab a little something before finally stepping out. 

And that’s how you got here, one bus ride and a good walk later, deep in some abandoned part of the town following Yunho through the alleys until he stopped abruptly, making you take a few steps back and hide yourself in a corner. Strangely, Yunho seemed to be inspecting the area. What for, you didn’t know. He looked around and checked if the gate at the end of the alley was really locked. After thorough inspection which made you wonder if he was looking for someone or something, he started walking in your direction, probably to leave. You discreetly slid down and away so he would cross you without looking in your direction, and thankfully, he did. 

You sighed, wondering if tonight had been a waste in which case your guilty conscience wouldn’t let you sleep for a good few days unless you came clean to Yunho. You were just following him back because you were pretty sure you would get lost otherwise when you spotted another man at the opposite end of the street. Instinctively, you hid again and waited for the man to continue along that street and get out of your way-

Except he turned in the street in Yunho’s direction.

You made a face and decided to fall behind the two- surely the man would be on his own way soon, except there was something odd about the way he was walking-

He was walking just like you had been- short, quick and silent steps, a good distance behind Yunho to avoid encountering him. Was he following Yunho too? How did he know Yunho would be here? Had he seen you- did he know you were here? It was too dark to make out who he was.

The two turned to another street and the man kept following him even after the crossroads, confirming your suspicions that Yunho was being followed. Perhaps, Yunho had been waiting for this man when he had been looking around the alley-

A sharp glint near the man’s thigh caught your attention and with a sinking heart, you realised-

The man was wielding a weapon. Something sharp that looked an awful lot like the very knife you had hidden inside your jacket.

You froze for a few moments that you knew would cost you something. There was just too much to consider- the feeling of impending doom, the worry for Yunho’s life, the fight-or-flight response making its way to control your future actions and worst of all, the feeling that you were back where you had been when you were still a child trying to protect your father from a situation just like this.

And as the man’s pace quickened and the distance between him and Yunho got shorter, you let the child that had murdered a grown man to protect a loved one take over. Just like that night, you raised your knife in the air without realising when you actually took it out of your jacket. And just like that time, you found yourself running towards the man- this time, experienced and calculating. You would have to congratulate yourself for being so certain about what you were doing-

“Yunho, watch out!”

Though Yunho recognised your voice immediately, the fear in your voice was unfamiliar and he turned around with dread pooling in his nerves, his eyes widening as he tried to process an unfamiliar face of a man with a weapon aimed at him- way too close- and then your figure, perhaps as unfamiliar this time, running towards the man. Yunho instinctively dodged the attack and before he could react further, you collided with the man, crashing on the floor with grunts.

Every nerve in your body screamed as you both clawed at each other while trying not to hurt yourselves, getting nicked here and there and before the man could actually think and overpower you, you buried the length of your knife between his collarbones, effectively disarming him and the man’s eyes widened as he whimpered in pain-

No.

“Y/n,” Yunho almost cried as he sank down next to you, spotting the horror in your eyes and in that moment, he knew only one thing- that he couldn’t let you burden yourself with having to live with blood on your hands. He inspected the stab on the man’s neck, sucking in his breath when he realised the knife in your hand was from your kitchen- the same damned knife he had spilled blood with. The man coughed blood and your grip on the knife finally loosened as you realised just what you had done. 

While you remained frozen in your spot, Yunho realised that the man was beyond help though with the current position of the knife in his throat, he was going to bleed to death for a long while before he could let go. So Yunho made a decision and gently unwrapped your hands from the knife, squeezing them to make you look at him.

“Y/n? Are you with me?”

His voice felt miles away, drowned by the ringing in your ears and you could only blink. Yunho took a deep, shaky breath. “Do you trust me?”

You didn’t know how long you stared at him but he gently shook your shoulder, making you crawl away from the shivering body of the man. “Y/n, do you trust me?”

This time, you did hear him and you nodded slowly, still in a trance. “Yunho- save him, please-”

Yunho had his answer. He slid the knife out of the spot between his collarbones only to stab him on another spot in his neck not far from the original and you watched in horror as the man groaned once before falling limp. Yunho put a hand over the wounds as if that could possibly stop the bleeding and then he asked you to take off your scarf. You weren’t sure you heard him right but with his free hand he started to unwind the scarf from around your neck. You didn’t make any effort to help him- you simply watched him wrap your scarf around his neck to stop further bleeding-

“He’s dead,” you practically spat out. “Why do you need to stop the bleeding now?”

Yunho didn’t answer. Once his hands were free, he bent down to pick the man and started walking back to the alley, stopping when he realised you weren’t following him. He turned to look at you, eyes void of emotions. “Aren’t you going to come?”

You got up with immense struggle, looking around- why was there no one to help? Why was this abandoned area so empty in the middle of the night? You grabbed the man’s knife and started following Yunho, your hands and legs shaking uncontrollably and each step got harder to take. When you reached the spot Yunho had checked out earlier, he laid the man’s body down and you finally sank to the floor, drawing your knees to your chest and trying to breathe. You could hear him talking into the phone to someone, giving them the address. 

All you knew was that you had killed someone. Again. And this time, your father wasn’t there to protect you and take the blame. This time, you weren’t a child who needed such protection. You were an adult and you had killed-

You felt arms wrap around your figure and you finally let out a shaky sob though your eyes remained dry. Yunho rubbed your back and asked you to breathe with him, drawing away and rubbing your cold hands in his to share some warmth- though his were just as cold. You could only see the blood on your hands, on your clothes-

“Y/n, listen to me carefully,” his deep voice echoed inside you. “You didn’t kill the man, okay?”

“You’re lying,” your teeth were chattering with cold and fear now. “I killed him.”

“No,” Yunho shook his head. “You protected me. I killed him.”

“You can’t do this to me, not you too,” you finally cried. “Not you too. I killed again, and this time, I’ll take responsibility.”

Yunho took a moment to process what you had said as he scanned your figure- everything finally started to make sense though there was still so much he needed answers to. “Listen to me. You didn’t deliver the killing blow. I did. I’m the one who killed him.”

“You and I both know he would have died anyway,” you locked eyes with him and Yunho knew then that it was no use trying to convince you that you weren’t to blame. “You just made it easier for him.”

Yunho didn’t respond to that. He simply kept rubbing your hands as if that could turn back time and make things right. When you heard the sound of footsteps, you got tense and almost panicked but Yunho assured you it was just his friends and everything would be okay soon. You watched Wooyoung and Mingi assess the situation, not reacting much and numbly, you let Wooyoung accompany you to his car. You kept looking for Yunho though and Wooyoung smiled a bit despite the situation, assuring you that he would be right there. 

While on your way, Wooyoung made sure you were warm and made you eat a few bites of chocolate, telling you you would need it. You asked him how he was so calm right now- was it not his first time that something like this happened? 

“Something tells me it’s not your first time either, y/n,” he simply responded and you fell silent after that. 

You shut your eyes and let your mind wander about what was going to happen next. Sure, you felt a sense of security being around Yunho- he had done something you could never have imagined- but there was still a small part of you thinking about how this was the end for you. You were going to go to prison. Perhaps you would meet the same fate as your father. Your mother and brother would certainly be pleased to see you behind bars. You could hear their laughter and the ‘I told you so’ even now-

“Y/n?” Yunho’s gentle voice made you open your eyes. “We’re here.”

You looked at ‘here’ which was another abandoned area with dimly lit streets and a warehouse which Hongjoong was unlocking the doors of. Yunho helped you out of the car- you definitely needed that since your legs were still wobbly. You noticed that not everyone made it back and you asked him where they were.

“They’re taking a detour- they’ll be here in a few minutes.”

You nodded and followed him inside and if the circumstances would have been different, you could have appreciated how well organised the inside of the warehouse was, looking like a home with couches and games and fridge and enough space to do anything and everything. It looked like a hideout and you smiled faintly before sitting on the couch. Hongjoong brought you beer and you gladly accepted, taking a few gulps and letting Wooyoung wrap a blanket around you, letting Yunho clean the blood off your hands and spotting the cuts littering your hands and arms. Now that there was enough light, he could spot the numbness in your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, suddenly breaking out of your trance. “Are you? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m okay,” he breathed. “Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, I…” you looked at your scarred hands. “I’m… okay.”

“Y/n,” Yunho took your hands in his again and you met his worried eyes. “How did you know? Why did you follow me?”

“I… I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” you sighed and he squeezed your hands. “I’m sorry-”

“It’s alright, but I need to know what happened tonight so I can help you, okay?” Yunho said and you nodded, straightening. 

“I knew you had no night shift today- I saw in the register by chance,” you told him and he nodded. “So when you said you were going, I knew you were lying. I would have let you go, trust me, but… I had a feeling something was about to happen. Or maybe… maybe I was just too suspicious- because Detective Seo said if it was you, you weren’t alone-”

“You met Detective Seo again?” He asked, his tone still gentle but you spotted Seonghwa looking at you apprehensively. “Why?”

“He called me to the station a few days ago because he was suspicious of me- the knives,” you let out a nervous laugh and Yunho nodded, understanding. “He told me his suspect’s murder weapon and method had changed and the timing was just a bit off. He knew it couldn’t be me but we have history so he just needed to make sure.”

“Did you tell him about Yunho- or anything?” Seonghwa asked.

Yunho gently warned Seonghwa but you told him it was okay. “He doesn’t know the knives belong to Yunho and he is just suspecting him because apparently your alibis are invalid now. That’s all he’s got on you, actually.”

They all sighed in relief and you heard the doors open, the rest of them joining you and exchanging drinks. “You’re all oddly calm about all of this.”

“We’re doctors,” Yeosang commented. “We have to be calm at times like this.”

“You’re oddly calm too,” San noticed.

“That’s what I said,” Wooyoung quipped in and Yunho asked you if the boys were overwhelming you but you shook your head no. 

“Can you tell me what happened next? Why did you follow me?”

You took a deep breath. “I said Detective Seo and I have history. When I was little… about two decades ago, I… we lived in a small town, the four of us. My father was in debt and he often had to run away from gangsters and loan sharks. One day, he got cornered by one of the men and he had a gun- he looked like he was about to shoot my dad. My mom was protecting us- me and my brother, but I… I did what I could to protect him. I went to the kitchen, grabbed the first knife I saw and stabbed that man multiple times in the back.”

“Oh, y/n,” Yunho’s voice sounded pained and you heard a chorus of sucked breaths and exhales. Your hands started trembling again and Yunho squeezed them, planting a kiss to your knuckles which just made tears pool in your eyes. 

“I did that to protect him,” your voice was just as shaky as your hands now. “That man died and my father ended up taking all the blame to protect me from the police. Detective Seo was in charge of that case and he always suspected me- especially because my mother and brother started hating me for putting my dad in such a situation. He found all of it odd. So tonight… I had a feeling just like that night- like something bad was about to happen. Or maybe I’m just making up that excuse to cover the fact that I betrayed your trust and followed you to see just what you were up to-”

“No,” Yunho embraced you, planting a kiss on top of your head. “Even if you followed me because you were suspicious, you were right to do so. I shouldn’t have lied about the night shift- anyone would have suspected me after that. It just slipped- it’s my fault.”

“It’s not,” you wiped your eyes, drawing away. “I shouldn’t have followed you-”

“You saved me,” Yunho smiled at you. “Your gut feeling, your suspicions… they were right. If it weren’t for you-”

“But I killed him,” you cried. “You cannot take the blame for it now.”

Seonghwa cleared his throat. “We’ve uh… identified the man. Yunho, you might want to tell her who you really are.”

Yunho nodded, wiping your tears away. “Do you want to stay here? Or do you want to go home?”

“I think I’d like to go home… if that’s alright with you guys,” you said and the boys assured you that it was. Yunho got up and took the car keys from Seonghwa, sharing a few words with him and Wooyoung and Mingi asked you if you needed anything. You told them you were fine but you would like to be in the comfort of your own home right now and they understood.

“If Yunho bothers you too much, you can call us,” Mingi teased. “We’ll take care of him.”

“I think it’s the other way round, but thank you,” you finally laughed. “Can I ask- what will happen to that man? The body…”

“Yunho will let you know- you don’t have to worry about anything,” Wooyoung assured you and when Yunho extended his hand, you took a deep breath and took it.

You were going home, and you were finally going to learn who Yunho was.

—--------------------------

It was surreal to enter your home now, Yunho by your side and the weight of the events from the past few hours hanging over your shoulders. You both went to change first and you found yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror as you washed your face and hands. You took a few deep breaths to calm down, as best as you could manage in that moment before leaving and finding the smell of chamomile tea in the living room. Yunho motioned for you to join him on the couch and you passed a tight-lipped smile before obeying. You sipped the tea and waited for Yunho to gather his thoughts.

“When I was in high school,” Yunho finally began and you shifted towards him to watch him. “One night, a serial killer decided my parents were his next victims. He followed my mom home and killed both of them, and I… I wasn’t home- by the time I came home, he was done killing them.”

“Oh, dear,” you held Yunho’s hand. You couldn’t imagine what he must have felt. 

“I saw him leaving,” Yunho sighed deeply. “Hongjoong was with me- he witnessed everything. He tried to stop me from going after the killer but I grabbed a metal rod and went after the man. He had a knife and that’s how I got this scar,” Yunho pointed at his arm. “Hongjoong saved me that night but I lost a part of me that night. A part that was human. I became almost animalistic, trying to find the killer.”

“Did you ever find him then?” You asked.

“I did, but after he died,” Yunho slumped back on the couch. “I couldn’t get my revenge. It wasn’t long after that incident. I lost my mind and was about to become the very killer I hated. Hongjoong saved me yet again- he knew that I wouldn’t stop at anything now. I was getting into a lot of fights and basically ruining my life.”

“How did he save you then?”

“He handed me a dagger and told me to do what I must with it,” Yunho admitted. “I was shocked because usually he was the one hiding anything that could become a weapon from me. But then I realised that I was only trying to protect innocent people like my parents. I would aimlessly walk the streets and help anyone who needed it.”

“That’s… very you,” you smiled and Yunho shook his head.

“I’m not a good person, though,” he said. “Somehow, we found each other, the eight of us. We select targets- corrupt politicians, rapists, offenders… especially the people who are public figures and lead double lives. We send hints to the police so they can do their job but when they don’t… we take the matter into our own hands.” 

“Oh,” you frowned. “The politician a few days ago-”

“Not me,” Yunho shook his head. “Though he was my next target.”

“So you… kill them?”

“We only kill when someone is powerful enough to get away with all their crimes,” Yunho admitted and your heart sank dangerously- hearing it from his own mouth now, it finally started to feel real. 

“Isn’t that… okay?” You wondered. “The police can’t do anything and they would only cause further harm if they are alive.”

“Yes, but…” Yunho tucked your hair behind your ear. “I shouldn’t enjoy it so much, should I? I think I’m twisted like that, y/n. I feel no remorse.”

You looked at him- how could you tell him that you understood? That you were okay with that? He would tell you over and over again that it was wrong, because he knew that too. You knew that too, yet… 

“It’s kind of ironic then, that you all are doctors, right?” You finally said and he coughed, making you laugh a little- more in disbelief than in amusement. “So all your night shifts…?”

“We meet up at the warehouse to plan and work on new cases,” Yunho said.

“And the man that I…”

“We identified him- the boys are digging up further but we’re suspecting he’s the copycat killer.”

“The copycat killer?” You repeated in disbelief. “Copying who- oh.”

Yunho pursed his lips guiltily. “Those kitchen knives… they were murder weapons. Now you know why I got so angry when you used them to cook.”

“Oh, goodness-”

“Don’t worry, I sanitised them,” he said as if that could make things better. “When I stopped using them, someone kept murdering people with similar weapons. And not just carefully selected scum- innocent people. It was why Detective Seo suspected me at first and then let me go easily because it just didn’t match. He probably figured out that someone is copying the real killer.”

You took a deep breath. “I killed… a serial killer?”

“Yes,” Yunho held your hands, making you face him. “Do you know how badly the events of tonight could have turned out?”

“But he was going to kill you,” you said. “He had it all planned- he was waiting for you, Yunho. You could have been seriously hurt tonight- do you realise that?”

“I can’t believe you’re still worried about me,” Yunho almost cried. “Do you have any idea what went through my head when I saw you throwing yourself in the way to protect me… I thought I was going to lose you, y/n. Why did you do that?”

“I can’t lose you,” you simply said. “It felt like I was back to being that kid trying to protect my father. Why did you kill him without knowing who he was? Why did you try to take the blame, Yunho? Do you know how scared I was when you did that?” 

When Yunho didn’t respond, his eyes tearing up, you continued. “I thought it was happening all over again. You would take the blame and I would have to live with the guilt. I’ve lived with guilt for far too long, Yunho. My father… he never made it out of prison. He was never a criminal and I guess the other prisoners found out, and they… they killed him. My mother and brother never forgave me after that. Do you think I could live with something like this again?”

Yunho wiped his eyes. “I understand, y/n, I really do,” he nodded. “But you have to understand that I was scared for you tonight. You shouldn’t have done any of that- the police will find the man’s body with all his crimes soon, but even if he was someone innocent, you shouldn’t have done that-”

“I did that to protect you,” you smiled. “What’s so hard to understand about that? Just like you delivered the killing blow to protect me, yeah? Why did you do that?”

“Because I love you,” Yunho breathed. “And I couldn’t bear to see that broken look in your eyes.”

“But we’re both broken in our own ways,” the tears finally rolled down your cheeks at his confession and he laughed a little, wiping them away as he cupped your face. “Is that why you’ve been so distant? So unapproachable? You thought you were broken and no one could love you?”

When Yunho nodded, you shook your head. “Well, I might be just like you then. And I love you for who you are. I love you for the way you tried to protect me, and I love you for still loving me when I told you who I am.”

Yunho finally relaxed and laughed, bringing you in for a hug and you got in his lap, wrapping your limbs around each other. You hugged him good and tight, telling him that he didn’t have to be so guarded anymore- he could be himself with you. He kissed you and told you that you could stop being so scared as well. You found yourself content in his embrace as you both shared your pasts and concerns, assuring each other that everything would be okay and helping each other process the events of tonight, Yunho treating the various places you got nicked and patching you up. You were still scared and anxious but he was there for you, holding you even as you fell asleep.

There was no place he would rather be anyway.

—----------------------------

“The snake in the suit was cornered now. With a grim realisation, he wondered if he should have listened to the lanky cop on his case that he couldn’t even bother to remember the name of– he probably meant well when he suggested the snake be careful now. What would the snake need to be afraid of? The snake was a predator. It only needed to worry about finding prey. 

However, the predator had become the prey now, defenceless in front of the masked spider who wielded his weapon of justice- a beautifully carved dagger with a golden hilt. For the first time in his life, the snake wished it had been a gun instead so his end would have been quick. However, just like the snake had enjoyed wearing the face of justice to the public while circulating drugs to the desperate, the spider enjoyed wearing no mask when he prosecuted his targets. The spider had one purpose to serve- so why not enjoy it?

The spider leaned into the snake’s ears, holding the tip of his dagger under the snake’s chin as he whispered, “I sent you countless warnings, didn’t I? I told you what fate you would meet if you continued down this road. Prison would have been a playground for you compared to the hell I’m about to show you.”

Any ramblings of mercy went up the spider’s head- he couldn’t hear anything anymore. With a kick to the snake’s stomach, he made him sink to his knees before he swiped the dagger along his cheekbone, producing a spurt of blood. The snake let out a choked whimper and the spider cocked his head, wondering which part of his body to ruin next– hey, y/n… I’m pretty sure it’s not that deep.”

“It’s fiction, Wooyoung,” you simply winked but Wooyoung wasn’t having any of it.

“Yunho, tell me, did you really cock your head and wonder which part of him you’d like to ruin next?”

Yunho only bothered shooting Wooyoung a dirty look in between arguing with San and Jongho about a recent case they had at their clinic- something about how to perform a specific type of stitch that would be seamless. 

“What do you think, Yeosang?” Wooyoung elbowed the man next to him. “Don’t you think she’s overdoing some of it?”

“Well, what do you want me to write? ‘Yunho went and killed the politician who had been circulating drugs all around the province’. Plain and simple like that?”

“I think she writes gore to cope,” Yeosang commented. “I’ve been seeing a pattern and- wait, was I not supposed to point that out?”

You looked at Mingi for help who looked moments away from bursting into laughter. “You might want to switch your psychiatrist, y/n.”

“I think I’m good with you,” you grimaced at Yeosang who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “This one should stick to the kidney stuff instead of treating the mind.”

“You heard her,” Mingi clapped, finally bursting out laughing. “Stick to being a nephrologist.”

“I don’t even know how people can have you as their psychiatrist,” Yeosang narrowed his eyes at Mingi and you shook your head in amusement- this banter wasn’t new. “What do you tell them? This too shall pass?”

Wooyoung snorted at that while Mingi raised his finger at him, trying to come up with a retort but failing and sulk-walking to Yunho, resting his head against his shoulder. You smiled at how Yunho naturally adjusted to have both of them in a comfortable position while continuing arguing with the Chois. 

It had been a couple of months since that fateful night. You were still trying to process most of what happened that night and the boys were always there to help you with that, going above and beyond. While at first you had been apprehensive of them- rightfully so- now they were almost like family to you. You found that all of them were extremely hardworking and ambitious, but also very gentle and kind. Or perhaps, you were receiving special treatment as Yunho often joked. 

Yunho gave you all the time and space you needed to sort your thoughts out while continuing being there for you- you were amazed at how good he was with that balance. He never let you feel overwhelmed or alone. He answered all of your questions about him and he just knew when you wanted to talk about your own feelings. He would ask you what you were afraid to find the answers to and then help you navigate through the tangled web that your thoughts were. When he suggested you go to Mingi for ‘therapy sessions’, you asked him if he genuinely thought you needed therapy and if Mingi was really the right person to go considering his role in what they did.

“I mean… Mingi is sort of my therapist too,” Yunho admitted to your surprise. “One thing about him is that he understands. No matter how sick or twisted you think you may be, he understands and he guides you to your own solution to that. Surprisingly, he’s the one who helped me overcome my rage and trauma of my parents, not Hongjoong.”

That really got you thinking and when you went to your appointment with Mingi in his clinic, he asked you what role you would like him to play- a stranger and just a therapist, or who he really was. You preferred the latter and soon, you found yourself looking forward to going to those sessions. You could now talk about what happened with your father without feeling an immense sense of guilt because even though all this time you knew it was not your fault, you simply hadn’t made peace with that. Mingi also helped you realise that what they did- the ‘vigilante’ stuff- it wasn’t lawful. It might even be wrong and you needed to acknowledge and remember that.

And you did. So when Seonghwa and Hongjoong came to you with an odd proposition, you took your time thinking about it. You spent a few days away from everything, back in your hometown to visit your mother and brother and this time, you could actually talk back to them when they mocked you about going to your father’s grave when, according to them, you were his murderer. That time away helped you sort through the final knots in your mind.

And when Yunho came back home that day to the smell of a freshly cooked meal in his house, he had to take a moment for himself. He spread his arms as soon as he saw you and you crushed him in a hug, giggling like kids. You were back in his arms and that was all that mattered to him. You informing him that you agreed to Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s proposition was a bonus.

“She’s a crime-gore fiction writer, Wooyoung,” Hongjoong finally said. “You can’t expect anything less from her. Besides, the details make it look less believable, which means less people will suspect that what she writes is not wholly fictional.”

“Exactly,” you nodded. “Good one by the way, Yeosang.”

“Yeah, I was going to say that,” Hongjoong laughed. “I once went to Mingi too. He told me that exact line and that’s when I decided I didn’t really need therapy.”

“Ah, I didn’t know that,” Yeosang laughed. “No wonder he’s sulking so much.”

“He’ll be fine,” Seonghwa chuckled and you didn’t miss the adoration in his eyes as he glanced at Mingi. Seonghwa turned to you, closing your book and placing it on the table in front of him. “I think you did a great job. It’s a very engaging story and the facts are present for the wise ones if they can connect the dots. I quite like it, y/n.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I owe it to you both. You’re really good editors- it’s too bad you both refuse to take credit.”

“It would only raise suspicion,” Hongjoong dismissed. “You’re the writer. We’re only, uh… inspirations?”

“Inspirations,” Wooyoung repeated. “I know exactly who would be pleased to hear that. Our favourite detective.”

“I heard from a source that he spent two hours trying to convince his coworkers that what you were writing wasn’t fiction,” Hongjoong scoffed. “He’s been quite silent lately.”

“The excitement must have dulled now- it’s been weeks since this book has been out,” you said. “I think he might be starting to take pointers now. He texted me a few days ago asking which politician he should keep an eye out for next.”

“What did you say?” Yeosang asked.

“I told him the next book could be about a detective who refuses to leave a poor girl alone,” you grinned, the group bursting into a chorus of laughter. “He enjoyed that joke, actually. I think he’s warming up to me now.”

“He better not,” Yunho finally joined, putting his hands on your shoulders from behind you. “I don’t want him obsessing about what kitchen tools we use these days. Shall we go home now?”

You nodded, saying goodnight to the boys and exiting the warehouse with Yunho. A bike ride later in the chilly night, you were home and just like always, grinning as you entered- you still loved the bike rides.

“Oh, tomorrow’s Sunday,” you clapped, suddenly remembering. “We get to sleep in. What do you wanna do tonight? Movie?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Yunho pretended to think, a grin creeping up on his face as he tackled you in a back hug and swung you around once, making your laugh echo in the house. “I think I’ll skip.”

“What’s got you so mushy tonight?” You asked- Yunho was swinging you both back and forth, his cheek resting against yours.

“Nothing,” he muttered. “I just still can’t get used to the fact that you’re real.”

You chuckled at that- you knew that Yunho absolutely loved the sight of you getting along with his friends, working with them, and actually supporting them. You insisted it was because the world really needed less criminals prowling around and while Yunho agreed, he also knew that part of the reason you agreed in the first place was because of him and he told you that he sometimes couldn’t believe that you could love him despite what he did.

You only told him once that a sick part of you definitely enjoyed killing those men if that meant you got to protect your loved ones. He remembered what you said- that everyone had something ugly like that in them- they just hadn’t been desperate enough to realise it yet. And thanks to you, Yunho was discovering a new side of himself- someone passionate and gentle and human. Sure, he had been that with his friends before, but with you, it was definitely different and new.

“Says the 6 foot tall handsome doctor slash biker slash vigilante. It can’t get hotter than that,” you teased. 

“Bet you moved in because of that.”

“Maybe I did,” you teased. “Wasn’t it the best decision you made, agreeing to let me move in?”

Yunho thought about it for a few moments, humming to himself. “I could think of a few better decisions I’ve made-”

You smacked his arm, getting out of his grasp and muttering you were going to bed first and Yunho laughed loudly at your antics, following you as you walked towards the stairs and when you noticed him, you sped up, giggling when he started running after you. You barely made it to his room when he had you in his arms again and was peppering kisses all over your face.

“You didn’t let me finish,” he said. “The best decision I made was probably letting Detective  Seo rattle you out while I stood outside and listened.”

You gasped loudly. “You did all of that just to have an excuse to kiss me, didn’t you?”

“Who knows?” Yunho shrugged teasingly. “Might not have gotten a better chance.”

“Come on, say it,” you started unbuttoning his shirt. “When exactly did you fall for me?”

“Let’s see…” he thought about it while you took off his shirt and ran your hands across his toned chest, tracing all his scars like you always did. “Could have been when you scolded me about the boots and the water trail and ordered me to use the bunny towel.”

“Sheesh, you’re that easy?”

“Yeah, I’m simple like that,” Yunho muttered before drawing in to capture your lips in a slow, sensual kiss. “It’s the little things you did that made me a mess way before you defended me with all your might.”

“That was the first time you laughed,” you smiled at the memory, turning him around so you could make him sit on his bed. You got in his lap and he squeezed your thighs in appreciation. “I think you had me right there too.”

Yunho shook his head at your confession and you grinned, pushing him to make him lie down. He loved it when you did that and took your time appreciating him, kissing all his scars and massaging his scalp as you drove him a little crazy, rolling your hips on his crotch suggestively once in a while. And he let you take your time because once he took charge, once he flipped you so you were under him and let his hands run all over your body as he kissed every inch of it, and once you were skin to skin-

That’s when you were done for.

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie!! <3 insane commute nonnie here (again) omg i read oby yesterday omw to class (ended up staying at my friend's again bc his roommate was still out. sadly he's back) and i should not have done that bc OMG?? BABE I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THEM THE WHOLE TIME UT GOT SO BAD I SAW MY PROFESSOR (he doesn't even look like james. he's just fit in a 'Hear me out guys...' way)N BLUSHED I WAS ACTUALLY GIGGLING AT RANDOM TIMES THINKING ABT THEM also like. sirius n regulus in this😭😭 regulus cursing sirius out for being a good brother is so real to me as someone with 12 year older brother bc he spent my entire childhood terrorizing me n now he's the sweetest person Ever. not even in an evil way he's just genuinely nice to me so if i ever complain abt him everyone goes ??? YOUR brother??? its so annoying (i love him). just reg veing grumpy<3 he's my fav little purse man and ok oh god never thought i'd say this. i have NEVER gotten the whole daddy thing but now im just🧍‍♂️bc i need to call james potter daddy while he fucks me what who said that also like. extreme apologies for how extremely inappropriate this might've gotten i was up all night studying for a quiz we have today (cannot catch a break w these ppl istg) n i swear my brain refuses to function and i have no idea!!! (please pray for me) also i hope you're doing great<3 sadly i do know work and adult things but im glad to know that nothing bad's going on!! you deserve the best<33 also i Absolutely get being funnier in your mother tongue sometimes i have these sudden thoughts n they're soo funny but i have to translate them which is like. okay but the vibes change istg!! i usually end texting my siblings abt it bc someone deserves to know how absolutely funny i am!! (all i do is make dad jokes) and (im actually so sorry bc ik you prob dont mind the book-long asks but its still!! so embarrassing!! like girl why are you yapping sm!!) i haven't read the 2nd part yet (i read the first part n just stared ahead blankly for like an hour after i read the 1st part. it did things to me) but im gonna read it after my quiz as a little treat<3 thank you for writing them sm!!!<3

HI BABE <333 sorry it took me so long to get back to u, life has been soooo hectic istg

AND OMG IM STILL SO SHY ABOUT U READING OBY but i'm so glad u enjoyed it and that it had the desired effect, it's definitely not the type of story u should read in class or just like . in front of ppl . i don't blame u for getting all flustered around ur professor even if he doesn't look anything like james. it's just the vibe yk??? you're literally so real for that

sirius and reg in oby are !! so important to me !! i feel like they have the best relationship in all of my fics, bc they're on good terms on nothing happens too but they argue . a lot . and they're gonna have some issues down the line. and they're also very close in the boxer au but there's still gonna be a lot of angst regarding their relationship. in oby, tho, they're just brothers <3 they love each other so much <3 and i'm so glad i'm portraying their dynamic accurately bc a lot of their convos are based on stuff me and my sisters have talked/fought about lmao

LISTENNNN I ALSO WASN'T INTO THE WHOLE DADDY THING like i didn't mind it and i read it occassionally but i didn't seek it out. but now that i'm actively writing it . well . i guess i kinda get the appeal (girl who doesn't even have a daddy kink) SO I GET U I REALLY DO

u don't have to apologiseeee i'm always happy to open horny hours especially if it's for james potter <3 and also i know it's been a few days but i hope the quiz went well and that u never do that again bc u need to rest!! i mean it!!

i'm doing quite well actually!! work's been a nightmare but apart from that i'm great!! i recently moved into a new flat with two friends and the place is soooo nice i'm in love with it i can't believe it's ours <333 AND SAMEEEE i always complain about it to my sisters or my spanish friends bc it annoys me to no end like . i'm literally soooo funny and it pains me that you'll never realise bc it's only when i speak in my first language ugh

I REALLY DON'T MIND THEM BABE IN FACT I LOVE THEM NEVER STOP and don't apologise again i'll kick ur ass!!! and god you're so very sweet to me, i hope u enjoyed/enjoy it and i'm sending u the biggest hug + forehead kissie in the world MWAH <3

[minkkumaz]

omi. omi wtf. OMI WTFF THE 8TURN FICS U WROTE WERE ACTUALLY INSANE?? IVE NEVER FELT SO SWOONY OVER AN 8TURN FIC?? ur THEEE 8turn writer ever.

okay heres how it went, i read the seungheon one first, AND IT WAS SO?? CUTE?!!?? KWKDJJCJF mutual pinning is such a cute thing to write i absolutely adored it. then i like took a study break, let the seungheon delusions marinate in my head until i remembered you had a yungyu one…

UR MAKING HIM MY BIAD WRECKER. omi. OMIII i literally cant with the fic it was so perfect, i felt so so SOOO immersed, u always write in such an appealing way for readers to get hooked into the story fast! ><

reading that yungyu fic changed me, i feel like a brand new person. i LOVED LOVED LOOOVED the ending, it was just absolutely well made. I think i have a new thing for badboy goodgirl tropes.. Normally, the ones I read make the reader too stuttery and jumpy, but you captured the theme so well ^^

ahh i feel like rereading it as im writing this, all my compliments come straight from the heart i really realllly REALLY enjoyed the yungyu one!! (have to agree its one of the best u’ve ever written, IM DUCH A FANN.) When yungyu just whisked us away in a dance and just,, i seriously cant stop gushing abt it. its gonna be on my mind for weeks, the storyline was so cute 😭😭😭💔💔

SUPER HAPPY YOU RECOMMENDED THAT TO ME, like how was i living before that beautiful fic.. BADBOY TROPES>>

i was wondering if you’re gonna do anything similar to it someday? bonedo ver perhaps?! 👀👀 (reminds me of that heartbroken woonhak idea you told me abt ><)

-🍉 (seriously im abt to reread the yungyu fic im so happy rn.)

STOP IT EVERYTIME YOU POP (you might aswell be nayeon><) INTO MY INBOX I AM ALWAYS BLUSHING AND THROWING UP EVERYWHERE YOU ARE SO SWEET :'[ you genuinely make my day like i was having such a shit morning T_T

i'm happy you liked the seungheon one, i was hoping you would! i tried to make him very true to how people my age would act and how feelings are just super sucky and can be confusing :( i'm glad the point got across and it was fluffy enough for you :3

and aghh spreading the yungyu love makes me so happy! i love love loved writing that fic and i have a little confession.. i am going to write a part 2 because i lost a bet to jordan and she also loved it as much as i did hehe.

this bad boy persona i wrote for him was actually so attractive to me i was giggling after EVERY line. and the fact that he wasn't even that much of a bad boy and moreover a misunderstood boy :,)

seriously your feedback makes me so happy, and if you really like the trope that much ill see what i can do :) THERES A FIC I ALRESDY HAVE PLANNED THAT I COULD PROBABLY INCORPORATE THAT INTO IT SO.. IM GONNA COOK IT UP!!

love u my melon anon<3

[icharchivist]

andddd I’m back! finished the whole thing. it was very good for sure. felt much quicker mostly bc I was not like. dealing with the culmination of probably over a year of hedging all my bets on hisoka’s identity. since I finished the whole thing I’ll be like. loosely chronological but also jump around as I please lol. considering im six paragraphs deep into a fic i definitely did have some feelings abt this.

anyways. very glad I paused where I did bc the moment I heard some random stranger picking on someone and going pretty boy my reaction went like this:

me: hm… pretty boy? that’s not yuki, is it? he would kill them already.. oh it’s azami!!! Oh my god it’s azami!! ah well then these guys are also dead. isn’t he a yakuza child.

and then azami beat them up :) love that kumon immediately thinks he is the coolest… it’s the juza-fan instinct. also love how when sakyo heard abt a middle schooler beating ppl up he’s immediately like ah fuck it’s the yakuza brat isn’t it. I will take this space to put in all of my azami thoughts before I resume. I was so surprised he showed up this early! then again I was a bit confused bc summer and autumn did their road shows together, and I was like… huh, didn’t spring start with these road shows too… how is autumn gonna begin? but nope surprise!! azami gets integrated here instead. very cool and I thought he and kumon becoming friends was done really naturally? like man who wouldn’t like it if someone was all starry eyed about you lol. especially since azami doesn’t seem. used to that level of appreciation. I, like azami, also thought that he and kumon were the same age lol. I did know azami did makeup but it was still so funny for him to shyly visit summer’s opening night backstage and then immediately be like oh u all look horrendous. let me fix this with the insane amt of makeup stuff I carry around. lovely. so very yuki-esque. also. wow, azami, how come you get to have *two* dads you’re beefing with! (sakyo and the boss) I think I am very sakyo-like tho bc when azami makes his phone calls I’m sitting there like ah… that kids not getting mixed up in a bad crowd, is he? he’s literal yakuza. kiri why are you like this. great voice acting on those calls also, it totally conveys the vibe of like angsty teen who chills out and is very casual around friends. I’m super interested as to who that person on the other end is, seeing as azami says he might reach that guys goal first after talking abt joining mankai… another actor / aspiring actor? haruto? misumis younger bro? who knows. only time will tell ig. was a bit sad abt the fact that azami and kumon didn’t have a cg—I think it would’ve been nice to have one when kumon collapsed into him, or a cg of juza and kumon where he’s picking him up… but there seems to only be 3 cgs per story for act 2. what a shame. well ig that’s what fanart is for lol—gotta brush up (pun intended) on my drawing skills! anyways I’m not super happy with azami’s dad lol. let him do makeup you clod. I always joke that I like characters who others are kind of homophobic to but it’s so true. it’s just actually a sign that they’ve got some Gender™ going on which I like. i hope he gets to play soccer with tasuku i think they'd have a great time actually.

moving back towards chronological events… kumon’s fancy gold keychain! love how muku immediately launches into an explanation abt it lol. “in exchange for making its wielded the strongest of all humans, it sucks their life force. it’s a cursed sword that can kill its owner if used too much!” I immediately read into this the moment muku explained it lol. like muku does not say it out loud and kumon is embarrassed about being a nerd but the moment this showed up i was like "oh. this is absolutely how kumon sees himself. all that pitching skill but theres a curse that prevents him from using it." and like. its never stated out loud during this episode but its absolutely true to me. the scene rly made me think like ah. kumons both naturally funny and adorable? like the noises he makes when hes freaked out there r great. i think hes a guy that is naturally a Bit Much and that translated really well to natsugumi stages. i wanna tackle kumon's condition here since it was brought up... again i knew that he was dealing with some kind of recurring health problems before, but not the specifics! and so learning that he was essentially getting fevers caused by stress was very. too real tbh like i dont want to think abt getting panic attacks during my free time. but. no i thought it was really well handled. like how at first yamaguchi is like. hey. its not like u meant to get sick, right? but then as time goes on you can see how people begin to be like. oh he's doing this on purpose to fuck us over. or theyre like. is ur illness even real. maybe you're just faking because you're an asshole. this is weakling behavior. and you can see how deeply that affects kumon in the way that he talks to and judges himself. in the way that he's got this drive that feels downright desperate--like EVERYTHING is do or die for him, and that is, of course, only going to stress him out more. i really liked that even at the end, past the play's end, he was still running a fever--it was clear that the play had rly been taxing on him and he wasnt like, just magically cured! i thought azami's whole magic brush thing was so cute--like, it was so obvious how better it made kumon feel. to me it felt like the equivalent of like, taking the time to put on really nice clothing and cook something special after a major depressive episode--like, you give yourself a nice treat and it helps you believe in getting better. in the same way, i think azami's makeup worked sort of like a charm on him--it gave him the ability to look like death hadn't warmed over and that like. helped him relax because now the guy in front of the mirror looks like he has the exact amount of energy that he wants to have. but yeah. i thought it was handled really well and i loved how natsugumi were supportive of him. the way kumon wakes up and finds out his fever went down and then when hes going to announce it to misumi he finds everyone sleeping by him... so sweet. again natsugumi was just sooo dearly supportive of kumon and refused to let him back out, it was great. when they all hug him and comfort him on stage... that cg is sooo cute. oh the moment juza approached tsuzuru i immediately knew he was gonna give him kumons backstory lol. like tsuzuru knows people well but not That well. i thought it was nice how the way inoue is was exactly like how real life yamaguchi felt--that he wanted to support him as a battery. tsuzuru precog moment strikes again. also every time he's on that balcony writing i think abt mizuno.

well this is probably a good segue to talk abt the play so i shall do just that. this one is literally a direct parallel to real life events so theres not something like... super interesting i can give as commentary there, lol? but when i first watched the play i was like. tsuzuru... where's the "comedy" in sports comedy? watching the play in the actual chapters tho i definitely saw it--it relied a lot on the quirks of the individual players! and that scene at the end is quite fun ofc. was confused as to why it was like. love. but even the og play has hatsukoi in it. ig its abt them liking their manager? idk it felt a little confused lol. but it was a very nice play in some ways... i am like, a pretty huge sports manga fan ahah, so i definitely saw stuff that was similar. i think i've... read 4 different sports manga abt baseball? daiya no ace, oofuri, cross game, and the one no one will recognize, hybrid berry. kumon would lose it if he ever read oofuri, i think... the main pitcher is an anxious mess who selfishly refuses to give up the mound and he and the catcher have a really interesting relationship. the girl manager that is sad they cant play baseball is absolutely a thing in sports manga. yuki was so great as washiyama. like her pretending to be a guy and subbing in for the catcher worked great since yuki can like. convincingly play both a guy and a girl. also the way washiyama essentially blackmailed people into joining. iconic. the associated song was also cute! i thought it was interesting that tsuzuru wrote yuki's role in specific along with tenma and kumon--i guess it makes sense since that role requires someone to play a female role, but the quirks of the other baseball players--uehara as a shut in with surprising athleticism, ohno as a player scared of the ball, and enomoto as a guy always on his phone--mesh really well with the people who play them, dont they? like, i dont think kazunari or muku could pull off the same sense of athelticism. it was nice, anyways. plus if u reach u can parallel washiyama subbing in for inoue and it hurting her hands with yuki + natsugumi trying to leader substitute in tenma's absence.

worst transition ever? perhaps. but now i get to talk about that bit BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THAT BIT. like icha i'm dearly glad i was not given spoilers but on the other hand i feel like i needed a fucking warning. the PHONE CALL. the PHONE CALL!!!! im going to take a step back and comment on the whole situation actually since i didnt even address tenma's first audition. that whole bit was so good. the way tenma's like heh. i'll handle everything. and like as you pointed out, at that point kumon was gonna join akigumi if he passed the audition! but tenma was like. no hes Mine. i definitely figured the audition was gonna go bad--like, if tenma himself was like "i feel like im not there yet" about his own acting? but the way it was executed was so lovely--i wanted to be like "ah, tenma's come really far, hasn't he?" but i think tenma has always been serious about this part of acting--didn't he join summer troupe in order to challenge himself because he felt like he was deficient? so i actually had to reexamine like. why did i assume tenma would be hugely emotional about missing the role. probably because izumi worried about it? also bc i kept recognizing when they were saying "chance" and since kumon just had a stressful audition chance i was worried tenma was gonna feel a similar pressure and cave. but nah. as strange as it might seem, this was kind of perfectly in character for him, i think... he didn't get the role, and he saw someone absolutely outperform him during auditions, and respected that. if there's one thing tenma's learned from summer troupe it's to acknowledge other people and recognize their strengths. so this was a nice extension of that. so all he does is chill in the theater at midnight and relfect a little on his own performance. it was mature of him. i felt like i could see him blooming. as much as i like to make fun of tenma he's been an actor for quite some time--i bet mankai is one of the places he really gets to act like a kid, yknow? i thought it was nice how suprised everyone in natsugumi was--even if they make fun of him, he sure is their leader who has some pretty great acting skills, huh... anyways. to then see him get an offer, turn it down to focus on the play (bc he loves natsugumi!) and then see yuki get fully outraged at him for doing so! that got me! the "when push comes to shove, you really ARE just a hack, huh?!" escalating into him yelling "we all want to support you, tenma!" like. how many times had yuki said tenma's name ever. also like. the way he indirectly says that he doesn't even mean it when he calls tenma a hack. anyways im glad they resolved it. not used to seeing yuki be so obviously distraught. the gifts were so good too. misumi giving tenma a triangle so he doesn’t. so he. “so you don’t get lonely like you usually do!” im going to wail. and then tenma going “I don’t get lonely” okay liar. but then when tenmas like oh jeez yuki another shopping list? and then receives a baseball keychain… if i was him i wouldve cried immediately. like wow. they rly adore each other and will never admit it ever.

and then seeing tenma in france! Almost getting lost! And carrying around the keychain… and saying “…take care of the troupe while I’m gone, yuki.” oh my god. like i genuinely lost it at this moment. tenma and yuki r roommates and they. They care abt each other. like there’s no explicit communication that tenma is putting his trust in yuki specifically but like. Of course its him. Hes the one that yelled at tenma to go in the first place. Id hedge my bets that natsugumi was planning on talking to tenma anyways (bc they rush in so quick when yuki and tenma start fighting) which if we take that to be true, yuki literally started picking a fight with tenma bc there was literally nothing else he could see himself doing at that moment. And the way that as they’re rotating leader by leader yuki is the one that’s like. Kind of nagging at them—pointing out that kazunari could be more decisive, and telling muku that he should probably give suggestions on fixing things rather than like just saying. “We have problems!” like. It is so deeply obvious to me how aware yuki is of tenma’s presence and how aware he is of him. Not being here. But then when tenma calls him! And yuki’s like. Teasing him being like is this a prank call? But he’s still in the practice room at 10pm, just chilling by himself because he’s thinking about what he can do. to quote from my notes during this scene: “it is genuinely so cute they call—AHHHHH A CG!!!!! A CG!!!!!!!” yeah i lost my fucking mind are u kidding me. of course i did. but yeah tenma checks in on the troupe through yuki and once yuki confirms that tenma’s doing okay, he’s like. we’re fine. focus on your work. and then he says international calls are expensive and hangs right the fuck up. like. if yuki wasn’t feeling guilty abt not having seen any improvements on the play u know he and tenma would chat for longer and yuki would antagonize him into paying his phone bill or something. but yeah the just like. the dynamic here is so good. and once he runs into kumon and figures out what he’s gonna do its so good! I felt like. idk. yuki rly pulled through for this one and it was nice to see tenma come back, pleased as punch, and tell natsugumi they did well. It was rly a breath of relief like ah. the leader approves! and it felt like such a success, that yuki and natsugumi were able to handle it. Idk why the phone call got me so bad. I mean i do know its like. two of my favorite characters but. it was just a kind of very understated moment and like this whole sequence is… what? four chapters? it’s not a long part in the whole episode but it just absolutely got me. its just such like a quiet, kinda subtle moment with a lot of depth. Seeing them call each other from different parts of the world. the way they’re thinking about each other and caring for each other. the way you can see them instinctually trust each other after being at each other's throats at first and bickering all the time even now. Yeah.

speaking of shorter parts i loved kazunari’s little side thing! with him realizing that he sorta wants to do a bunch of stuff. i thought the ultra multi creator / UMVC thing was so funny. but it was real lovely to hear just a very normal parent that obviously adored kazunari exactly as he was. this was also how i first learned kazunari was a traditional japanese painting major. I genuinely had no idea. i do think its funny that his lil sis in a huge tenma fan. i think ive mentioned this before but there is a like noticeable increase in quality of the a3 posters as time goes on which i think is really cool. but wow tenma telling kazunari he has like only shallow friendships is truly so. I love that it stuck with kazunari this long but also tenma would be distraught that he remembered.

okay now time for all of the miscellaneous stuff i forgot to talk abt!

azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him. I know he and sakyo r gonna be so fun… sakyo wondering what happened bc azami used to adoringly follow him around was so absolutely real. like oh ur his dad already i see. I also think kumon’s relationship with muku and juza r so interesting… muku knows some stuff, but not everying about kumon. and though kumon so obviously adores his big brother and juza has helped him before, the actual talking they do seems like not much. which felt kinda realistic.azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him and i like it. i’m so excited abt his dynamic with sakyo seeing as he used to be rly attached… sakyo and his bos should square off for custody i think it’d be funny. i think its rly funny that yuki refused to play baseball bc he was acting as the manager. the manager plays baseball in one of the scenes its like the whole point. loved the kumon pitching cg. oh tenma was so good during that street act they did tho like. the way his va played that… u can hear him loudly announcing the show and stuff and then his voice immediately drops to this soft whisper to ask if kumons ok. so good. again i rly liked azami and kumon’s relationship… the fact that azami was just gonna fight yamaguchi unprompted was so good? but the way kumon is specifically like. dont injure his arms he needs them for baseball rly shows like. just how much kumon treasures the sport i think. very interested in who would azami not want to see at his worst… could be a throwaway convo lol. but i liked that azami walked him home and stuff. muku pestering yamaguchi into taking his ticket was so. wow. he’s rly gotten brave, hasn’t he? i thought juza and muku were so interesting in how they supported kumon during this bc like. they were both obviously supportive but like didnt solve everything? Which was cool bc they were still good siblings to kumon but kumon’s issues still felt like. understandable and stuff. like juza being harsh in the beginning re: kumon joining made total sense even tho like. clearly it ended up being good for him. gosh when juza and muku tell tenma and izumi everything it is so good to see tenma be like. well. its alright u kept stuff from me. kumon is fully part of natsugumi so we’ll take care of him. i just like seeing him be capable and he was so capable lol. also banri offering to be an understudy instead of juza! very sweet. love that he can only offer by antaognizing juza abt his acting skills. also love banri saying yuki will thrash juza if he acts bad specifically… bc banri and yuki r. friends… i also like that this in specific seems to give juza pause. my “juza is frightened by this middle schooler” hc seems legit. oh and i laughed when juza was like. well we gotta be baseball accurate so i’ll bring the clippers. what is up with hyodos and banris hair for real. hm. i also like how u can see the bookcase in kumon and misumis room has noticeably changed—feels like not just misumi lives there, now.

oh and the cute girls skit. best thing ever. every time they did it, i laughed. so i absolutely get why it cheered kumon up. again summer troupe is clearly so good at this. they should do a play. This had more romcom energy then the baseball play they actually performed. like kumon blushing. into mukumi announcing u look like a dog I used to have!! unmatched. and ofc theres juko. cmon… take one step closer for juza in a dress…

I also loved everyone telling kumon abt the troubles they had. like tenma had to be like. I look very capable now but i actually tanked our first play lmao. also i had trauma abt stage performance. also idk if it was intentional but i love how the dialogue when theyre discussing sardine search is like.

kumon: the cat costumes?

tenma: anyways, the third play—

i think the last thing to discuss is the adlibs probably? the moment he was like concerned abt it i out loud went “fuck the fans” so that shows my position lol. but that for sure is summer troupe’s charm. I liked that in the end kumon’s adlib was just like? it was good. nicely in character. good response to. hang on washimiyas bf is MARRIED? but its not like he totally introduced a wild new direction or anything—the guy who started this was clearly tenma’s adlib as inoue. so i rly liked that it was like. competent but not amazing bc like… i think that would kind of reinforce kumon’s idea that he needs to “measure up” and be perfect. but here he’s just like. good at being part of natsugumi. and that’s all they need! i also know kumon originally wanted to join akigumi and i assume that’s bc he loves juza but i also wonder if some of it is bc akigumi is so clearly and obviously Strong. well. anyways for kumon i think being part of a troupe that makes him laugh is the best, in the end. i did think it was funny when the game went “acting isn’t like baseball. there are no winners and losers,” says a member of the troupe that had a literal competition against another troupe where winning was the most important thing ever.

and that’s all, i think! very good story im sure theres things i missed but. very good.

omg that was quick indeed. bUT HELP as to why you think it went faster. And omg. can't wait to see the fic as well!!

let's GOOO

and HELP. the deadly pretty boy middle schooler squad. gotta love how quickly Kumon found him cool indeed. I also love how quickly and organically they started to get along! Azami really does have a lot of Yuki in his behavior doesn't he. i still love how the make up things ended up being mentioned like "oh i'm NOT letting you leave this backstage without some help. you need it." type. eheh loving the way you look at Azami's set up so far! And you're so right this CG could have been so nice… nerfed by the amount of official CG per chapter :/ looking forward the fanarts coming out of it ;D Azami truly does have some Gender going on and yeah. The dad sure is not being good there. AND! hell yeah for the soccer squad this is what they deserve. Give Tasuku some peace also to know that while his troupe is bad at sports he can make his own team somehow still.

NICE CATCH ON THE KEYCHAIN!!! it really does fit Kumon way too much :sob: Kumon is indeed so likeable like, the actor really does such a nice job at conveying just how open and exhuberant he is, but also just how soft he can be. really funny and adorable like you say, perfect for Summer.

as for Kumon's condition, welcome to the specifics! I also really connected with Kumon on this because oof, chronic illness like that is no joke and especially when it's stuff triggered by stress it's just… it feels never ending bc then you stress about being stressed and it gets worse in worse. And even though it's obviously not his fault, the way other people started to perceive his sickness influenced how he saw himself and it really became even more worse and he became so scared to fail people which just meant more stress, so, more guilt… man his story was so effective it made me feel really emo.

Azami helping him out with the brush was so cute :sob: a little placebo in a sense. I do love how Kumon still was stressed but he managed to push through still. a bit like Tenma was still hella stressed in his first plays but managed to push through enough to now be comfortable about it. Natsugumi meanwhile taking care of him and being so supportive is so sweet :sob: Summer are all genuinely so good, and when you take into account all the problems they had to deal with one another… Tenma's stagefright, Yuki's indecissiveness for the future, Kazunari's anxiety about not being what others people would want out of him, Muku's own insecurities and his own history with "failing" his sportsmates because of health, with also Misumi's big brother's instinct kicking in… everyone had made some little work on their side on their own anxieties that i think they could see a bit of their journey in Kumon and went yeah, we'll take care of him, and it was such a good support for them. and DLKFJDLKF Tsuzuru's powers, all knowing, and when he doesn't know, people will come to him to update his character files. but also mood for the balcony.

DLKFDLKF yeah i feel like, Summer's plots could be seen as "not comedy", but in the end it's all about the banter and the way Summer will improvise stuff with their high energy, they probably have more room to improvise and all. BUT YEAH the love thing always was surprising to me, i guess yeah they're in love with their manager but it doesn't feel like it should be the focus?? or perhaps it's about the love of the game?? Or Tsuzuru should come out already and tell us the romance between Tenma and Kumon's characters was explicitly that this time come O- and omg, really ready for the sports story mood i see. I hope Kumon got to read this manga. perhaps he even recommanded it to Tsuzuru? Yuki's character was so fun and it felt so Yuki, it was so great. But yess the roles were pretty nice.

it's a perfect transition no worries AND HELL YEAH. No warning we get murdered by phonecalls like people who cry over a3. I'm so glad you weren't spoiled considering it was Made Just For You, it was so nice to see it shook you enough to post about it also :'D Everything you say about Tenma's audition is so spots on and so good :sob: he's so good… It's in moment like that that yeah you remember just that he is a professional who can accept things going in one way or another pretty maturely, and no doubt summer did make him even better at that. like yeah he learnt to be more silly and more of a kid with Summer, but it also helps him adding new outlook on his perspective. it's pretty nice. AND GOD YEAH. THAT. YEAH. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH YUKI WAS SO NICE. Tenma loves Natsugumi and Natsugumi loves him back so much the gifts scene was also so damn sweet like. god i love those kids so much.

AND YEAH… YEAH. MAN. Tenma and Yuki did come a very long way but they trust each other so deeply at this point it's just so heartwarming to see. No CG of Kumon and Azami bUT a CG of Tenma and Yuki calling each other! We still come out of here winning!! and yeah i totally understand what you mean about the whole scene and the whole dynamic of this specific arc. I think that approaching their dynamic with physical distance showed just how close they have grown emotionally speaking and it was just. so damn nice to see. It was such a nice arc.

Kazunari's little side thing! yeah it's really nice to see Kazunari just.. want more? I think it also shows he's growing more confident in himself that he just wants to try everything now. His little sis being fan of Tenma is really soft, no wonder Kazunari kept taking pictures of Tenma when they met. And yeah!!! honestly it's like, of course quality gets better as the app grows and everything on a doylist perspective because yeah, the devs get better, they get better fundings, you even see it at times from how prettier the art composition of some of the cards become. But in universe, since the posters are Kazunari's doing, it really also bring home that it's Kazunari!! who's growing as well. It's so nice. but god yeah. i love how things really do have an impact in a3? like conversations from years ago still matter so deeply for the characters. It's so nice.

ooh nice that you like Azami's voice :3c promising set up with his relationship with Sakyo and yeah. Sakyo was already a dad, bless him. The Hyodo/Sakisaka dynamic is indeed pretty interesting, like… yeah they're cousins but that doesn't mean they were that close until they started acting, but now they're all together in this. and yeah makes sense that Juza still was a bit distant in the sense of, he's socially awkward and keeping to himself a lot even regarding his little brother. Yuki refusing to play the baseball game while he gets to play later in the play is indeed pretty funny. Kumon's CG is pretty nice toooo, it shows how serious he is for baseball and still how much of his conflict comes from how serious he is about what he loves. (kinda contrast also how Chikage's solo CG was him with his coin, something that shows the way he deceives people but ultimately that he can't keep fooling Sakuya with and ends up being the cataclyst in staying with Spring bc of the coin toss. Like the solo CG tell us a lot about them and their arc in general). Tenmaaaaa<333 Eguchi Takuya always delivers in term of voice acting, and i love how he looks out for Kumon :sob: AND SO true about the Azami and Kumon's relationship and the way Azami was ready to square up for Kumon. It was so nice to see, they have a nice dynamic. Muku has indeed got very brave!! and even braver when he does thing for other people in general (a continuation both of him standing up for Yuki in the first chapter, and how he went to confront the Ikaruga family for Misumi as well) but yesss their dunamic together was so so nice, they knew some stuff but of course they couldn't solve everything… i think it's like, esp with stress, when family tells you you do well it's just yeah sure, that's what family says. i feel like, with setting up Kumon being so attached to Juza, it was important that his arc ends up being about him looking for something /for himself/ instead, and finding good things outside of him. But yeah Juza was just worried :sob: he just comes off as much roughter in general. aND YEAH…. Tenma immediately enforcing that Kumon is his responsability is soft. AND YEAH THE BANRI SCENE. WAS REALLY CUTE. Hell if Banri actually shows he cares, he needs to be mean to Juza to make it work. think about his reputation smh. BANRI AND YUKI FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED. And yeah Juza still values Yuki's opinion enough to be frightened. More than by Banri at least lmao. AND DLKFJDKLFJD rip Banri's hair. and yeah sobbs it's so nice.

omg yeah the cute girl skit was really so sweet and funny. It's a recurring thing too like, remember when Muku was stressed out during their first improv with Yuki and Yuki went on with the cute girl thing? Tenma roasted them at that moment bc "all they did is change their pitch a bit", and now they perfected it so well that it's Purely Cheer Up Material… sobs. JUZA IN A DRESS WHEN PLEASE. WHO DO WE HAVE TO BEG.

DLKJFDLKF YEAH it's so nice that they really like, work to make Kumon part of the team? like he gets to know the stuff he missed as well, he's up to date with them all. BUT YEAH the transition for Sardine search is really funny.

BUT YEAAH AAH the adlibs stuff were so nice. I still find that ending so funny, i love how everyone managed to roll with it… and very good observation for why Kumon wanted to join Akigumi. He probably felt like it could help him measure up to the expectations he had put on himself, managing to be cooler and surpassing himself physically considering those were the things he felt he lacked. But in the end he needed just to find his own path and coming to term with what he actually needed. AND LDKJFKDLJFKLFD Kumon: it has no winner or loser! Tsumugi still half reeling from what happened during his first play: :). yeah :) totally :) completely :).

but sobss i'm so glad you liked it!! Summer knew to come after your feelies both reminding you of the growth of your favorite characters and introducing a new cutie to the team. It's honestly so nice, and it was SO nice to read through your thoughts! as always, thank you so so much for sharing!!!

as a reminder, next is the event A Springtime Snooze ! Then you'll be able to read the Autumn Chapter!

Take care! :3c