#well. when i say ‘straight’ i mean ‘bisexual in my mind’
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rystiel · 22 days ago
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“caryl” this “rickyl” that idgaf give me donnie !!!
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vaniliens · 2 months ago
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My love for girls is the exact reason i only label myself as queer
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bellsmess · 7 months ago
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Whenever someone calls Charles Rowland straight, an angel dies.
What straight guy tells his best friend who just confessed to him that there's no one else – no one – he would go to Hell for. And that they have forever to figure out what that means. You don’t get his repressed bisexuality like I do!
Even modern bisexuals (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience) are oblivious to the fact they're bi because heteronormative roles are so engraved in our minds. When you're attracted to other genders, it's easy to miss a same-sex crush, only then to realise that oh, it wasn’t just admiration, it was attraction.
Charles, having grown up at the height of the AIDS crisis, with an abusive and probably homophobic father, killed by racist bullies? That would make anyone repress any gay feelings. Especially if you experience crushes on people with a different sex to you.
Charles sees Crystal and takes his chance. He's enamoured with this smart, strong-willed, pretty girl who can see him not only in a physical sense, but pays attention to him. He longs to be loved. Then he says the infamous "That sounds alot like you, doesn't it? Maybe that's why I like her so much" line. What an icon. And he compares himself and his best friend to the greatest love story of all time, Orpheus and Euridyce's.
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When Edwin confesses to him, he doesn't rule out the possibility of returning these feelings. He knows they're already devoted to each other. They've already had 30 years of companionship and solving cases together.
"As long as I have my best mate and a case to solve, I'm good."
Being with Edwin is simple. They solve cases, help others, run away from Death. It's a simple existance. Charles gave up eternity to be with Edwin, because he was kind to him when he was dying. Charles finds him fun, wants to protect him, knows that Edwin is a kind and good person. One that Charles wants to be.
"Bad guys don't worry about being bad guys. And you, Charles Rowland, are the best person I know."
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Crystal's role is very important in changing the dynamic between Edwin and Charles. Not only because Charles falls for her, but because she opens them up. She digs out their repressed feelings and trauma. Charles finally deals with his dad's abuse, his happy-go-lucky mask falls. She points it out to Edwin. Charles kept it up so well because Edwin didn't press it, but Crystal does. And Charles finally lets himself process what happened to him, and how that affects his relationships.
Charles never saw genuine love between his parents, and that affects how he views relationships. It impacts how he forms them, too. But he's a loverboy, he longs to be loved, he falls easily. Why wouldn’t he fall for someone who stuck to his side for 30 years?
Crystal and Monty's roles mirror each other – they help the boys figure out their feelings and desires. Crystal makes Edwin jealous that there's someone else Charles cares about in the same sense he cares for Edwin. The Cat King helps Edwin discover desire, Monty – genuine love. As Charles' and Crystal's relationship kickstarts (albeit ends as quickly) and Monty persues Edwin, he discovers the depth of his feelings.
"These complicated feelings that you have? They're for Charles."
I would love to see their wants explored more in the future season(s, hopefully multiple). Charles giving into desire with Desire of the Endless' guidance? Yes please.
I simply cannot believe that anyone would doubt Painland/Payneland endgame. They're everything to each other. They're a constant presence, reassurance, and love. Platonic, romantic, it doesn't matter. Their bond is so deep and genuine that immortal beings see it and leave them be, in the afterlife they chose for each other. Their love is so deep it transcends planes: from mortal plane to Hell, it leads Charles to Edwin. Charles is not Orpheus, when he turns around to hear Edwin out on the staircase from Hell, he manages to get him out. And they have literally forever for each other.
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xxsabitoxx · 1 year ago
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My Personal Upper Moon 🍆 Ranking
Warnings: if it isn’t obvious already, this post is taking about the Upper Moon’s and my personal HC on their dick sizes. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, just keep scrolling
A/N: I was actually very surprised by the amount of comments on my Hashira version of this HC post. So I feel a little more comfortable with giving the Upper Moons a go, especially since someone asked if I would do it eheheh. That being said, these men are demons, therefore you may find my size rankings to be a bit unrealistic. But I’m not gonna go crazy and say Muzan has a dick that’s 2 miles long.
This post includes: Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu’s clones (Karaku, Urogi, Sekido and Aizetsu), Gyutaro and Kaigaku. And no Gyokko cause that man doesn’t have a dick, period.
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In a category of his own: Muzan Kibutsuji
Muzan clearly deserves a category of his own for one particular reason: he’s able to alter his appearance.
Therefore, he’s able to change the size of his dick whenever the fuck he feels like it.
And don’t try and say that stupid cause he can literally change gender and age so changing his dick size isn’t out of the question
On average, Muzan prefers to have a larger dick, mostly because he’s a pussy ass bitch man that needs that kind of confidence down there, if you get what I mean.
Typically soft: 10.5
Typically hard: 11.7
But he can make it as big, small, curved, wide, as he wants
When he wants to torture your ass, he’ll make himself as girthy as he sees fit just to watch you cry and squirm and beg for something a little smaller.
Anytime you get “comfortable” he just increases his girth until you’re crying again. Your pleasure is never his first priority, it’s always his.
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1. Kokushibo
Among the demons, it should be no shock that Upper Moon One has always been packing. This man is petrifying so it’s only right that his dick is equally as intimidating as him
Even as a human, this man’s dick was deadly. You can’t change my mind either.
Just in case you’re wondering, Yoriichi is bigger
That’s beside the point, Kokushibo has a lot to work with down there. Whether it’s hard or soft ngl
When soft: 9.5
When hard: 10.7
He’s long, girthy and curves slightly upwards. He’s heavy too, your jaw will certainly hurt by the time you’re done with him.
He’s the type to put a pillow or blanket of some sort under your lower back as he fucks you. Mostly because he’s not clueless to the fact that his dick is big
Kokushibo is the type to ease you into it though, he’s stern but he has a teeny bit of empathy when it comes to fucking you. Unless you’ve pissed him off ofc.
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2. Akaza
I know this one is gonna be controversial, especially since I’m putting him above Douma but hear me out.
This man has audacity, which means he got a big dick. No demon is acting like Akaza and having a small dick to go with it. Nuh uh, no sir.
Akaza is sitting pretty knowing damn well his cock is bigger than Douma’s and it actually something Douma taunts him with… which you think the roles would be reversed but hey…
When soft: 8.5
When hard: 9.7
He’s straight, no real curve to him and he has a single blue line going up the underside of his shaft and one that wraps around just before the head of his dick. Like as in the lines that cover his body lol
Akaza is probably the “gentlest” of all the upper moons because of the respect he has for women
That’s not to say he isn’t rough with you, but he definitely cares about your pleasure and feelings more than Douma or Muzan would for example
He’s pretty confident in himself though, at least that’s how it seems to you. He knows what he’s doing to say the least
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3. Douma
Alright listen, this man is still packing down there so don’t get mad at me for putting him at third.
His dick is smaller than Akaza’s but not by a ton. Let’s be honest Douma is probably the straightest and gayest demon to ever exist. The embodiment of bisexual LMAO
How does Douma know Akaza’s dick is bigger? The world may never know
When soft: 8
When hard: 9.2
It’s pale like the rest of him, a pretty noticeable curve to it as well. He has some prominent veins because of how pale he is. His tip is like a pinkish gray (idk why I felt the need to include this)
He’s pretty girthy too, so he definitely will make your walls stretch uncomfortably if he doesn’t offer you foreplay
Douma is rough, selfish and truly only cares about his own pleasure but he likes watching you whine and squirm while being impaled on his cock
Douma also has a thing for “belly bulges” so he will fuck you in some odd positions if he means he can see his dick from the outside… if ya know what I mean
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4. Gyutaro
Listen, plz just listen cause I promise you I’m going somewhere with this. Cause I can already hear y’all being like ???Scrawny ass Gyutaro is in 4th??? Yes. He is.
Gyutaro got himself a bit of an upgrade when becoming a demon. He for sure does not look like he did a a human. By that I mean he’s taller than he was (even tho he’s hunched)
What I’m tryna get at is demon transformation made his dick bigger and Imma live in my little fantasy world
When soft: 6.5
When hard: 7.2
Gyutaro’s dick is as curved as his spine and as thick as his tiny ass waist. He’s got length but not crazy girth.
Even if he’s rough, it feels good. Like there isn’t a ton of discomfort if he goes in raw with no prep cause he wants to punish you, he’s like the perfect amount of stretch
He’s mean, verbally and physically but at the same time he’s a fucking sucker for your body so he can’t really say much without whining and groaning
He’s got some confidence in his cock but he’s also a bit envious of the other upper moons
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5. The Hantengu Clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, Urogi)
I’ve talked about my dick HCs for these four in my A-Z NSFW alphabet and I was tryna be realistic. However, when it comes to this post, fuck being realistic.
Sekido when soft 6.2 | when hard 7.1
Karaku when soft 6 | when hard 6.9
Urogi when soft 5.9 | when hard 6.7
Aizetsu when soft 5.7 | when hard 6.5
There is so much to say here but honestly my brain is malfunctioning so I can’t even delve into it
Regardless, the four of these demons fuck very differently and use their dicks very differently
Sekido and Urogi have no curve, Karaku has a slight curve and Aizetsu’s curves upwards
Hantengu himself had a 3 inch dick and you can’t tell me otherwise. Pussy ass bitch
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6. Kaigaku
I hate this little bitch but I’m including him so I can rag on his fugly ass. Kaigaku simps I’m sorry but I can’t stand him
This douche has the smallest dick among the upper moons. This is full Kaigaku slander.
When soft: 5.2
When hard: 6
I’ll give him a decent dick tho cause boy does he have the fucking audacity
That’s all I’m gonna give y’all cause I ain’t wasting my time on him GOOD BYE I didn’t even tag is ass
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cjlouwho · 4 months ago
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prompt: something where buck and tommy argue over gerrard. like, buck doesn't know how tommy could have been so passive, and tommy's like way over that version of himself or something. I know a lot of people don't want that to happen in the show, and I get it, but I'd like a fic version!
“I have never, in all my life, dealt with someone so- so... so evil!” Buck was pacing back and forth in Tommy's living room, just as he'd been for the last half hour since he arrived.
“Really, Evan? Never?”
“You don't understand, Tommy. Gerrard is, it's like he's targeting me, but not in a bad way.”
“There's a good way to be targeted?” Tommy asked from his spot on the couch.
Buck sighed, placing his hands on his hips. “It's like he- he wants us to be buddies, ya know? He thinks I'll be his puppy or something. H- He's treating everyone else like garbage except for me and it makes me feel really weird. He took me golfing, Tommy. Golfing.”
“You fit his ideal firefighter, Babe. He needs minions, he's gonna latch onto you.”
“What do you mean his ideal firefighter? What even is that?”
“White, strong, straight,” Tommy replied simply.
Buck raised an eyebrow. “What we did yesterday morning was very not straight.”
“Yeah, but does he know that?”
“Does he know what we did yesterday morning?”
Tommy tilted his head. “Evan.”
Finally, Buck plopped down on the couch, staring toward the blank TV. “I figured he knew after we went to the medal ceremony together.”
“It's not like we made out in front of the crowd. For all he knows, we're friends.”
Buck was silent for a moment. “I've never really talked about my personal life with him,” he admitted. “Didn't really want to. N- Not because I'm ashamed or anything,” he added quickly, looking at Tommy with wide eyes. “I'm not. I promise, I- I'm not ashamed.”
“I know, Evan.” Tommy reached over and gave Buck's hand a squeeze. “You're a very good ally.”
He glared at Tommy. “I'll never live that down, will I?”
“Nope.”
Buck grew quiet again, and Tommy was beginning to think the conversation was over.
Then Buck, barely above a whisper, said, “I don't want him to think we're just friends.”
“It's fine if he does,” Tommy replied. “I don't mind. Probably best that way, honestly.”
Buck's eyebrows furrowed. He turned more toward Tommy, his back leaning against the armrest. “What do you mean?”
Tommy contemplated his words before speaking. “Listen, I'm not telling you to be buddy-buddy with the guy. I definitely do not recommend that. I'm also not saying to turn a blind eye to all the crap he pulls. But, why make it harder on yourself?”
“Because it's living a lie, Tommy.”
“It's not lying if you just don't mention it.”
Buck huffed out a breath. “You want me to hide who I am? I distinctly remember that being the reason our first date ended so abruptly.”
Tommy let out a deep breath. “I'm not saying to hide, Evan. And that's not exactly the reason our date ended, you know that. I'm saying if there's been no reason to bring it up so far, why bring it up now? What he thinks about you doesn't matter.”
“It matters to me.”
Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid himself of the growing frustration. “So, what? You wanna walk into Gerrard's office and say 'Hey, I'm bisexual by the way. Also, I'm dating that Tommy guy you worked with years ago. You know, the one you made fun of when you saw him at the medal ceremony?' You really think that's the best thing to do?”
“It's better than being his puppet like y-” Buck cut himself off abruptly.
“Like me?” Tommy finished. “That's what you were gonna say, isn't it?”
“Tommy, I-”
“It's true,” he continued with a shrug. “I was his puppet. I did whatever he wanted me to do and I didn't question it. Even after he was going to let me die in that explosion, I still stuck by his side. I don't deny that part of my life, Evan.”
“I wasn't trying t-”
“You know I apologized for all of that well over a decade ago, right? I feel like I remember us talking about that.”
“W- We did.”
“And I would never want or expect you to be who I was. You know that?”
“I know, Tommy, I-”
“And I'd never ask you to hide yourself, because I did that too and-”
“If you'd let me finish a damn sentence,” Buck snapped.
Tommy stopped, stared at Buck with pursed lips. A silent go ahead.
“I don't- I didn't. I... Ugh, Tommy!”
A pause, then. “That's what you needed to let out?”
“God, you're being so annoying right now!” Buck could feel his body getting hot.
“No, I'm trying to stop you from getting needlessly harassed at work.”
“By essentially cutting off a part of myself every time I'm there!”
“Evan, if your sexuality hasn't come up by now I don't see a reason why it ever would! It's not cutting off a part of yourself, it's just existing!”
“But I- I'm getting special treatment because he doesn't think that part exists,” Buck tried to explain. “I don't want to be his right hand man, Tommy. That might've worked for you but it doesn't work for me.” The words came out harsher than he intended. He knew it was a low blow to bring up something from so long ago, something long dead and buried. But Tommy had made him upset, and he needed to make Tommy upset too.
Except Tommy didn't get upset. He got quiet.
Somehow, that was worse.
A tension so thick you could cut it with a knife filled the air.
After what felt like an eternity, Tommy stood, letting out a sigh. “I'll be back,” he said, beginning to walk out of the living room.
“What- Where are you going?” Buck nearly shot out of his seat. “Are you leaving?”
Tommy turned back to him. “First of all, my house,” he said, motioning around the room. “Second, I'm going into the kitchen to get a drink.”
“Well, I- do you want me to leave?”
“I didn't say that, Evan. I mean, I'm not gonna block the exit if you wanna go, but I prefer to finish the arguments I get involved in.”
Buck sat back down. “Then I'm staying.”
“Good. You want water or something?”
Buck folded his arms over his chest. “With ice.”
“Okay.”
A couple of minutes later, Tommy returned with two cups of water in his hand. He held Buck's out to him, Buck taking it with a low, “Thank you.”
“Mhm.” They both took a few sips, then Buck stared down at the ice in his cup until Tommy started talking again. “You're not wrong,” he said. “Being his right hand man did work for me for a long time. It's not something I'm proud of, and I don't make excuses for it, but I also don't really appreciate it being thrown up in my face.”
Buck set his glass on the coffee table. “That wasn't fair of me, I- I know that. I was just angry. I'm sorry.”
“I probably should have tried explaining myself a bit better,” Tommy replied. “I'm sorry too.” He set his own cup down, then held his arm out toward Buck. “Will you come here?”
Buck didn't hesitate to move into Tommy's space. He curled up next to him, resting his head on Tommy's chest while Tommy wrapped him in his arms. “I can't help wanting to protect you, Evan,” Tommy said, pressing a kiss to Buck's head. “I know you don't need it, and I know it's selfish, but the idea of you getting harassed by that man for any reason, it- it scares me. I have,” he let out a humorless laugh, “I have never been as brave as you. I still feel nauseous every time I see the guy. But I never want you to feel like I want you to hide yourself, or that I want you to be like me. That's not what I meant.”
Buck ran his hand slowly up and down Tommy's chest. “I know. I- I get it. I've never dealt with a Gerrard before, not directly. Didn't think I'd ever have to.”
Tommy hummed. He ran his fingers through Buck's hair. “I will back whatever decision you make,” he assured him. “Whether you tell him or you don't, I am right beside you. I never want you to think I'm not.”
Buck propped himself up enough to be able to look at Tommy. “I know you are,” he replied, bringing a hand to Tommy's face. He stroked his thumb along Tommy's cheek, then leaned up for a kiss. “That's why I love you.”
Tommy sucked in a breath. His heart began to race. They'd never said those words before. Honestly, Tommy had stopped himself a few times, figuring it was way too soon.
But, as always, Evan burst through every door Tommy had locked up in his mind.
“I love you too, Evan,” he replied, and he hoped Evan could feel just how much he meant those words.
But, in case he couldn't, Tommy pulled him in for another, deeper kiss. Holding him close and tight while he wished they could stay right here in this moment for the rest of their lives.
When they finally separated for some air, Buck sat up straighter. “I'm going to tell him,” he said without an ounce of fear or hesitation. “Maybe not the way you suggested, but I... I want him to know I'm yours, and your mine, and screw whatever he has to say about it.”
And God, if Tommy thought he couldn't love this man anymore than he already did, there went Evan proving him wrong.
He nodded. “Okay.” He brought Buck's hand to his lips, pressed a kiss against his knuckles. “I'm with you. I love you.”
Buck smiled, wrapping himself up in Tommy once again. “I love you more.”
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unfinishedslurs · 2 years ago
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eddie's flat ass (steddie)
Dustin whips around as soon as they’re alone. “Steve!”
“I’m Eddie.”
“No, I mean you and Steve. You like him.”
“Of course I like him, Henderson,” Eddie says flatly, pressing a little harder on the gas in hopes of getting to Dustin’s house before he admits something he regrets. “We’re friends. Best buds. A couple of dudes being bros.”
“You’re full of shit,” Dustin says. “I’m not stupid. I saw that. I wish I hadn’t, but I saw it. You’re, like, stupidly into him. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”
“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters. His street can’t come soon enough. 
Dustin pushes through. “When are you gonna ask him out?”
“Uh, never?”
“What?!”
“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “Nothings going to happen, Henderson. Yeah, I’ve got a stupid fucking crush on your babysitter, it doesn’t mean that Steve’s interested in me. He likes girls, Dustin, did you miss that part in the dossier? He thinks we’re a couple of straight guys horsing around, if he found out I was flirting with him I could be thrown into Hunt the Freak 2: the thrilling sequel.”
Dustin’s mouth snaps shut, and he laughs nervously. “Right,” he agrees. “He likes girls. But, uh, hypothetically, if he was into guys…”
They roll to a stop sign, and Eddie turns away from the road to tell the little shit off. But Dustin’s fidgeting, staring steadfast at the road and refusing to meet his eye. 
“You know something,” he realizes. 
“Uh…”
Eddie’s about to shake it out of him. “You’re hiding something, you little shit. What is it? Tell me.”
“I’m not,” he squeaks. 
“Bull-shit you aren’t. What is it? Is it about Steve?” Eddie pales. “Shit, does he know about me?”
“Well…”
“What the hell?!”
“I didn’t tell him!” Dustin yelps. “If you didn’t want him to know, maybe you shouldn’t have been so obvious!”
“Check your tone,” he snaps, hand shaking as he pulls on his hair. “Shit, shit, shit, okay, it’s fine, I just need to flee the country—“
“Why?”
Eddie is this close to throttling the kid. “What do you mean why?”
“Why is this such a big deal?”
“It could get me killed!” He shouts, banging a hand against the steering wheel. “He could—he could fucking tell somebody, and—“
“He wouldn’t do that!”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know that? You think someone’s a good guy until you’re interested in them, and then it’s all ‘You’re fucking disgusting,’ or ‘Freak,’ or ‘Don’t touch me, you fa—‘“
“Stop!” Dustin shouts, white knuckling the armrest. “Eddie, stop. He’s not going to tell anyone. It’s gonna be okay. It’s fine.”
“It’s not.”
“It’s fine,” Dustin stresses. “Steve doesn’t care if you’re gay. He definitely doesn’t mind you flirting with him.”
“You don’t know that,” Eddie says. 
“Yeah I do.”
“How?”
There’s that deer in headlights look again. Then Dustin takes a deep breath, and his expression turns guilty. 
“I know you’re not supposed to tell people this,” he says, “but you’re freaking out really bad and I’m, like, 99% sure Steve thinks you already know.”
“Steve thinks I know what?”
Dustin tells him. 
Two hours later, he’s still laying on the floor in the trailer, looking up at the ceiling. 
Bisexual. Steve Harrington, the man Eddie’s always hailed as the patron saint of heterosexuality, likes men. 
Might like Eddie. 
“Are you flirting with me?” Eddie blurts out, and immediately tries to bolt. 
He runs face first into a wall and ends up on the ground, wishing the demobats had just killed him. 
Steve appears in his line of vision, standing over his sprawled body. Eddie is treated to a wonderful view, eyes moving from his long, athletic legs to his crotch to his chest and broad shoulders, and finally reaches his face. His very amused face. 
Eddie’s entire body lights on fire. 
“What the hell was that?” Steve asks, laughing. 
“Uh…”
“Wile E Coyote over here. Seriously, man, that was some Loony Toons shit. I’m embarrassed for you.”
“Oh my God, shut up,” he groans. “Just let me die.”
“No way in hell. Sorry, Munson, I put too much work into saving your flat ass to throw it away like that.” Steve grins, holding a hand out for Eddie to take. He ignores it, rolling over so Steve can’t see how red his face is. 
“My ass isn’t flat,” he mumbles into the carpet. 
“Oh, it is,” Steve says cheerfully, nudging said ass with his foot, because he’s a bastard. Eddie doesn’t know why he likes him so much. Everything he does is catastrophically bad for his continued survival. “It’s cute though. I like it.”
“Henderson said, uh, that you were…umm…maybeflirtingwithme?” Eddie finishes in a rush. 
“What?”
Steve’s face is open, automatically tilting his right ear towards Eddie. Eddie doesn’t know if he’s aware that’s something he does. Robin says it’s because of all the concussions, his left ear just isn’t what it used to be. 
Eddie sags, unable to lie to his wide-eyed confusion. “Dustin said you're flirting with me.”
Steve stares at him. 
Eddie fidgets under his incredulous gaze, growing more anxious by the minute. Oh God, Dustin was wrong. Dustin was wrong about everything. Steve probably doesn’t even actually like boys, Jesus. The whole thing is obviously a bust. Eddie needs to cut and run, maybe make some bullshit excuse about his uncle needing him home even though Steve knows Wayne’s working right now—
“You needed Henderson to tell you that?”
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wynnyfryd · 1 year ago
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Trailer park Steve AU part 33
part 1 | part 32 | ao3
Chapter 8
cw: period-typical attitudes/language
"Steve," Robin hisses through the phone, and he can practically hear her nostrils flaring. "I have been trapped at Uncle Bobby and Aunt Deb's house for six. days." She drops her voice to a harsh whisper, the tone somehow even more disapproving at a lower volume. "HOW have you not kissed him yet??"
"It's not like I didn't try!" Steve throws his hands up; nearly knocks his broom to the floor. He's finally sweeping up the shards of glass in the living room, because he's tired of wearing shoes in his own house (and because at some point he's going to have to have the kids over whether he wants to or not. He's kind of surprised Erica hasn't shown up demanding to hang Christmas lights yet; that girl is aggressively festive.) "He was all 'ask me in the morning,' so I was gonna ask him in the morning! Not my fault it was Monday morning and his stupid uncle barged in yelling about how he was going to be late for school."
"You really shouldn't call him stupid," she interrupts, "that man is a saint."
"No, you’re right. Wayne's awesome."
It’s true. Wayne walked in on them that morning, like, fully spooning in their sleep — Eddie pressed all along Steve's back with an arm over his waist, their ankles intertwined — and rather than beat Steve's ass and ban him from their house like Steve expected him to, he just awkwardly grunted 'breakfast is ready' and shut the door.
"I'm always right," Robin gloats in his ear.
"You're always the worst."
"You love me." Steve hears shuffling as she adjusts the cord — probably wiggling around to lie on her stomach on the bed and kick her feet up in the air the way she likes — and then she says, "I'm still not seeing how this explains the other five whole days, though."
Jesus. Five whole days. Like she's his unimpressed boss and he’s late with the quarterly reports. "Our schedules kept not lining up! And then he went out of town with Jeff's family for the holiday."
"And you haven't called him?"
Steve glares flatly at the phone; hopes she can feel it through the line. "Literally how would I do that, Robin?"
"Well— I don't know! Maybe..." She hums in thought then snaps her fingers, talking fast. "Ooh! You could ask Wayne for the number? I mean, he'd have to know it in case he needed to reach Eddie, right?"
"Uh huh." Steve loves her solution-oriented brain, he really does, but that's one of the worst ideas he's heard in a while. (And he's including Mike and Dustin's attempted kidnapping last month.) "Yeah, let me get right on that," he snarks, switching the phone to his other ear. "I’ll just call them up and say, 'Hey, Mr. or Mrs. Jeff's Grandparents! This is Steve Harrington, may I—? Oh. Who's Steve Harrington, you ask? Nobody, sir or ma’am, just the kid who stood by and watched while his teammates gave your grandson a swirlie two years ago, so I'm sure he fucking hates me still for that! Anyway, can I please flirt with your house guest now?'"
Robin's whinnying into the receiver by the time Steve finishes his rant, and he begrudgingly laughs along with her, shaking his head as he stoops to pick up the dust pan.
"Okay," she concedes. "You may have a point."
"Thank you."
"But you still have to do something to make up for this when he gets home! Otherwise, he's going to think you're, like, having a straight boy crisis or something and get all weird."
"I'm not having a 'straight boy crisis,'" Steve rolls his eyes. He's having a bisexual boy crisis — at least, according to the three hour phone call he had with Robin the other night (which was humiliating, by the way; he never thought he'd be quietly crying tears of total confusion while saying the words 'I still likes boobies, though' out loud. Jesus Christ. Sexuality is embarrassing.) "And I already have a grand gesture in mind, anyway."
"Oh?" Robin perks up. "Do tell."
"I was thinking we could, like..." Hmm. It's sounding less grand when he goes to say it out loud. "Well, shit, I don't know. I thought we could go to one of his shows together when you get back, but now that sounds kind of lame?"
“No, that's good! That's perfect, actually. We can get a whole group together to go support him, then he'll see that you're not embarrassed to be seen around him with your friends."
"Wait, was that a concern?" Oh, god. He dumps more glass into the trash can; hisses when a little shard gets his fingertip; sucks the wound into his mouth. "Are you sure it’s not-? I mean, I want him to know I mean it in a romantic way, not just a friendly gesture."
"Well, yeah, obviously. But you can't just go by yourself; his bandmates hate you."
Oh, right. “Yeah.” That would be pretty awkward to loiter in a booth by himself all night while Jeff and Gareth and the other kid glare daggers at him. "Do you think you could get a group together? If I do it…"
"…We'll be hanging out with a group of dorky freshman all night?”
"Rude."
"Accurate."
"You know what? Tell Deb and Bobby they can keep you."
"Ah!" Robin gasps. "You would turn to stone like a troll in the sun without me, and you know it!"
Man, he misses her. "Yeah, I know it." He puts the broom back up on the hook. "When ya comin' home?"
"Soon, I hope. I swear to god if I have to hear Deb and Patty fight over the leftovers one more time—!" She cuts herself off with a strangled noise, and Steve laughs at her plight. "Anyway, yes. I'll ask some friends at school—"
"—Is one of those friends Vickie?"
“I can multi-task; shut up."
"I love you," he smiles.
"Love you, too, dingus.” Her voice dips soft and sincere for just a second; there and gone. “Hey, I have to go, Carrie wants the phone.”
“You have too many relatives.”
“Ugh, I know. Okay. Leaving for real now; can't wait to see you for Operation Woo Your Man!”
"Robin, no-!”
“Got to go byeeeee.”
“We’re not calling it that!” He holds the phone out with both hands so he can yell into the receiver. “Robin? Robin!"
The line's already dead.
part 34
tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added tomorrow please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)
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genderqueerdykes · 1 month ago
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Why do people say stuff like 'bi lesbian' when they can just say like, for example, 'lesbian romantically and bisexual'? I just think it's confusing and pointless when less confusing explanations exist
No hate I'm just stupid and think a lot of things could be explained better then they are
good question, there's a reason people don't say that: it's because that's not how they identify, that's not what they said. they said they're a bisexual lesbian. that's how they identify. if they identified the way you worded it, they would say that. i'm a bisexual lesbian so keep this in mind while talking to me, because this is literally my identity. what you said there is NOT how i identify at ALL. my bisexuality encompasses gayness and lesbianism, as well as transhet relationships.
you can be bisexual and a lesbian at the same time. bisexual means having 2 or more modes of attraction. lesbian attraction is and can be a part of bisexuality. bisexual identities do not exist completely independent of gay and lesbian ones- gay and lesbian experiences are part of the bisexual experience.
i'm curious as to what people think bisexuality even is ? it just means 2 or more modes of attraction, and of course that can include lesbianism, why wouldn't it? it doesn't just mean attracted to straight men and women, it can also cover gay experiences. i mean think about it, is a gay person who identifies as bisexual hurting you or anyone else? is a lesbian who identifies as bisexual hurting you or anyone else?
some people use that descriptor for them, but that's not what bisexual lesbian means. that is not "explained better," - that is an inaccurate portrayal of many people's identities. how you feel about a bisexual lesbian or gay doesn't change how they feel. it doesn't matter if it sounds poorly explained to you- it isn't. you don't know how bisexual gays and lesbians feel on the inside, why is it up to you to define their identity for them?
ask yourself why you think someone else is doing a poor job of explaining their own identity. it's NOT up to you or anyone else to "correct" someone else on how they identify. a bisexual lesbian is a bisexual lesbian. please refer to this comic strip penned in 1999 by Alison Bechdel about bisexual lesbianism and how the two experiences do not have to be separate, but rather part of the same spectrum:
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it is not your place to decide what someone else's identity means, that is their choice to make. you are only the arbiter of your own lived experience, not anyone elses. i hope that helps, take care
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imfinereallyy · 2 years ago
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“Who was your first kiss?”
“Depends what you mean.” Steve hits the joint Eddie passed to him. They are sitting on the roof of the trailer, stargazing. It is the first clear night of summer. Steve feels lighter than he has in months.
“I'm not really sure if there is another way to ask that, Harrington.” Eddie laughs around the tip of the joint. “It's a pretty simple question. Besides, I thought this was secret time. No need to get shy on me now.” Eddie spins to his side dramatically, tucking his hands beneath his face. He stares at Steve with joy in his eyes.
Steve takes the joint, pulls, and huff smoke into Eddie’s face. A soft laugh escapes him. “Well, I mean, do you mean like the first real kiss? Or, like, when did I start practicing?”
“Practicing?”
“Yea like, figure out how to, and what its like before the real deal? So it doesn't count.”
“I'm sorry—” Eddie scrunches his eyebrows “—I’m confused. Why wouldn't it count?”
“Cause it was with a guy.” Steve shrugs because he doesn't think it's a big deal. He doesn't understand why Eddie is hung up on it.
But then, Eddie's face does this thing for a second. Like he isn't sure whether to be angry or sad, but then it relaxes. Instead, a look of puzzlement takes over his face. “Steve, it counts. Like—even though you're not attracted to guys, that still counts as a first kiss. It’s like—kinda hurtful you think it doesn't.”
Steve tilts his head and goes over what he said in his mind. He can't recall saying anything ridiculous like he does when he is high. “Okay, now I'm confused.”
Eddie stares and says nothing.
“No! Not like confused as in I don't get why your upset, but more like confused who said I was straight?”
In shock Eddie manages, “What now?”
“Never said I was straight. I just meant that if we're talking about first kisses, usually people mean a girl. So the guy doesn't count. Especially because I didn't know I liked guys then. Think even if I was straight this right here—” Steve waves a hand between the two of them “—is pretty homoerotic so I think straight went out the window.”
Eddie swallows, looks down at Steve’s lips, and looks back into his eyes. “There is so much to unpack there. But first, thank you for telling me. Second, Steve. That is like not how it works. Just cause a kiss is practice doesn't mean you didn't kiss. Like just cause you're hitting balls at practice instead of the game, doesn't mean you're not hitting them.”
Something settles in Steve. “Huh, I guess I never thought of it that way.”
Eddie grabs Steve by the shoulders. “I'm glad you understand, but onto more pressing matters. Who was this boy you practiced with?”
“Oh, it was Tommy Hagan.”
Eddie drops his hands in shock. “Hagan?! C’mon Stevie, I thought you had better taste.”
Steve giggles at Eddie’s antics. He can't help but take in how pretty Eddie is when he gets all worked up. It is unfair in Steve’s eyes. How someone can be so wonderful even when they are losing their mind.
Steve can't resist the urge to finally flirt a little. “He wasn't my type Munson. Like I said, just practice. Wasn't really into it. Pretty sure he liked it more than me. I think if I liked him, I would have figured out the whole bisexual thing a lot sooner. No, my type is definitely more in the dark curly hair nerd department.”
Eddie swallows nervously, “Nancy?”
Steve isn't offended by Eddie’s question. Steve knows he's scrambling, can tell by the blush on his face. Steve feels hope spark within his chest. “No, she's great and all, but I was thinking more masculine. With pretty doe eyes, a deep laugh, a kind soul, and horrible taste in music.”
Eddie sputters, and Steve watches his blush spread, “My music is great!”
“Hmmm, sure.”
“Hey Stevie? Do you feel like you need more practice?” Eddie leans in close brushing his nose against Steve’s with a sudden rush of bravery.
“No, i’ve had enough practice. Think I want the real thing.”
“Okay I want to be smooth but I have to google d response to that so I am going to kiss you now.” Eddie rushes out.
“Sounds perfect.” Eddie closes the gap before Steve can say anything else. Eddie tastes like salted chocolate and weed. It's sweet and musky and so very Eddie. It starts soft, the softest kiss Steve’s had, just plush lips pushed against each other.
It slowly builds to more. Steve’s hands travel up Eddie’s sides and into his hair. He wonders how a wild thing could be so, so soft. Steve gives a gentle tug, and Eddie moans deeply into him. Eddie’s hands grab Steve’s waist and yank him forward. His hands are to cause bruises surely, and the thought leaves Steve giddy. The sounds Eddie makes are getting desperate, which causes Steve to release his own moan.
Eddie doesn't waste a second taking advantage and shoving his tongue inside Steve’s mouth. He’s warm and wet, and oh God, Steve wants more, more, more.
After a few minutes, Eddie pulls back. “Wait, who did you really think was your first kiss?”
Steve rests his forehead on Eddie’s. He can't help but think his answer is a little funny. “Carol Perkins.”
“Wait, wasn't she dating Tommy?”
“Oh yeah. He was there actually. Kinda encouraged it to happen.”
Eddie looks torn between laughing and being disgusted. “Again, so much to unpack, but I don't think I want to touch that with a ten-foot pole. At least not tonight. Can we go back to making out?”
“Yes please.” Steve all but begs, a while releasing into the space between them.
They don't pull apart until their lips are swollen and their throats are raw from moaning. It’s Steve’s best first kiss yet.
---
originally this was more angsty and going to be more reflective on my personally experience of the very popular thought of “if my first kiss is with a girl it doesn't count” that I see a lot of bisexuals like myself (and other sexually fluid people...honestly an experience the whole LGBTQ+ community has) have. Like having that realization made me re-evaluate myself. But it ended up being more light hearted and using another experience of mine which is being out but refusing to count the first kiss because of who it was with. Steve and I...we have regrets. I still might write the other one, we shall see :)
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starnana7 · 7 months ago
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every time I remember that the hit show supernatural made God, the literal God from the Bible, canonically bisexual but couldn’t do the same with a random guy who hunts monsters it actually makes me feel physically ill.. like blasphemy is okay but we draw the line at making the main character a little bit queer because it would “upset the heterosexuals men”? okay ig… and it’s so funny to me that they tried SO bad to make dean like really really straight and macho and a manly womanizer (I mean dude has literal porn brain and is obsessed with cars and is a film nerd) And still is the number 1 bissexual boy.. I mean no one that into cowboys is 100% straight 🙄 and if they actually wanted him to be that much of a cishet guy WHY would they make him have a codependent homosexual friendship with his best friend for more than a decade ?? and we have so much subtext to corroborates it that it’s actually insane.
and it’s also rlly funny to me that sam would be the most obvious choice for a queer storyline. like i’m not sure this is true but i heard somewhere that he actually was supposed to like be lgbt and that it’s implied in the show he’s pan bc he basically have sex w/ everyone and doesn’t care (like monsters and stuff). i wholeheartedly disagree bc sure he hited a demon and a werewolf and a kitsune and God knows what more But it still were just women and for me he’s still just straight 💀 we do have gabriel however and i would say that’s a valid argument but i don’t actually like them together because of the whole torturing-sam-every-tuesday-over-and-over-again but it’s still a good take ig. again this is just my opinion But anyways doesn’t matter my point Is that sam always felt like a freak and wanted to be normal and like was more open minded and “less-macho-toxic-behavior” than dean. he was a theater kid and talked about his feelings and all. STILL THO dean went and become The bissexual icon (Not Sam, Dean!!). and the fact that he was more manly actually only emphasized to his sexuality (and him being closeted) and sam being the straight one, and bare with me here. as sam winchester once wisely said “well you are kind of butch they probably think you're compinsating.” (to dean asking why people always assumed they were gay) and like this is so true, sam always felt comfortable in himself and like his nerdier and less cool strong man personality. But dean, oh, dean, no, no, no. and it could all be linked to john. we know how much dean wanted to gain his father approval and respect, all he ever wanted was for john to be proud of him. so he’d listen to the same music as john, same clothes… and so on. but when we really see a glance of him, we realize he’s actually much more “““girly””” (sorry for the term i lacked a better one) than he shows, Especially when compared to sam—who’s supposed to be the more girly one (again sorry for the term lol) or whatever. dean canonically likes taylor swift, chick flick films, actually liked when a woman made him wear underwear, the bailarinas shoe were “speaking to him” in that one ep of cursed objects, and so on. and every time he makes fun of sam for doing something not-manly-enough (like drinking lemon water or drinking from tiny coups) he eventually goes and do the same thing 😭 and i’m 100% sure that the writers just thought “haha funny scene this really straight deadly man does something not so convencional/more feminine(?) haha comedy relief time!!” but it actually just made him have a whole perfect queer background developed in the series. specially with the fact that He Does Overcompensate. why is he always flirting with women, why is he so butch and scary, always talking about straight sex and so on? because he’s really just deep in the closet. and it makes so much sense with john being his father, with him having to hunt two lesbians nuns in his 17 bday, always having to be strong and macho and cool and perfect—and therefore straight. even without cas, dean really does immaculate the bissexual experience and i’m so sorry but this is just true.
and now pointing to the subtext that i mentioned in the first paragraph (lol i can’t believe i’m making a whole rant as to why dean winchester is a confirmed bisexual), that whole confession to that priest where he says he wants experience new feelings, new people, FOR THE FIRST TIME. that always that the show mentioned a gay couple it ALWAYS focused on dean—not sam, DEAN. the gay hunters, the gay couple on the bar that the cupid “made”, the two cosplayers partners… the fact that every time that dean liked something it was borderline fangirl (gay) obsessive (the dr. sexy episode, that wrestler fighter). he Had a gay thing—and was all flustered about it. he flirted with a guy throughout charlie. THE MALE SIREN. the male siren like after that ep i was 100% convinced that man was not straight. he had a hot demon sumer with crowley?!!! and it’s so funny to me that not one of these things involves castiel, so if they really wanted to make dean be that straight why would they do that?? and only to dean, not even once to sam. Like. and not to mention all the homoeretic tension with benny??? sam never had a male best friend like that.. all of that and i didn’t even entered on destiel. Because this then really just confirms that he is Not straight. even if he wasn’t In Love with cas, they had something going on and the fact that if cas was a girl it would 100% be canon and filmed and Everyone would ship—and I really mean everyone—it just makes me go fucking insane. they could’ve had it all. the fanfic episodes, the parallels between dean and cas and “real couples”, ruby and cas duality and the fact that sam indeed had a relationship w/ her. Anyway i’m a # bi dean truth believer and i know this bc same boy # happy pride month to my fav bissexual boy in the whole world
also to anyone that says that “destiel” was unrequited love yes it kinda of was but only bc dean was so deep in the closet, he did love cas. he was indeed a bissexual man. i’ll die on that hill.
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nervoussagittarius · 9 months ago
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got to have a taste of a pretty girl
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matt sturniolo x singer!reader
summary: a past experience is brought up causing you to finally be comfortable telling your boyfriend your biggest secret, request
warnings: fluff, language, coming out, slight angst
“hey matt.” you said as he picked up your phone call. your current position on your couch was one of nervousness. you sat on the edge, hunched over, with your leg bouncing with anxiety.
“hey baby, what’s up?”
“so i have something to show you and was wondering if you’d be willing to come over?”
“yeah absolutely. i’ll see you in 10, love you!” he said hanging up the phone.
to rewind, you were cleaning out a few boxes this morning when you came across a cd with some of your old, unreleased, songs on it. you had a habit of recording stuff that was almost to personal to put out and hiding it away. you used this method almost as a coping mechanism. out of sight, out of mind.
curiosity came over you and you decided to see exactly what songs were in this record. a few of them were really nothing, just some stuff you had made when you were messing around with different vocals and settings. but the last song was something that you really did want to hide. you never meant to come across it again.
this song described the first intimate experience you ever had with another girl. you were about 18 at this point, close to a year before you even knew matt. you had known for a while that you liked women and men, but the only person you told was your best friend alexa.
now alexa was completely boy crazy. never once thinking she might be into girls. until one night when you guys decided to go to some random la house party a mutual friend was hosting.
after a few hours you both started feeling flirty and we’re having a lot of fun dancing with each other. this was when alexa decided to tell you that she had thought you were her favorite person she’d ever met and how if she were to ever experiment with a women it would definitely be with you.
one thing led to another and she led you into her bed. only to wake up the next morning saying it was a good time but it was a mistake that will never happen again. she could pretend all she wanted but it already happened. so you guys went your separate ways.
you weren’t devistated my any means, you almost expected things to happen this way. she went on to keep her boyfriend and you moved on with your life.
you never really felt comfortable telling anyone else about your sexuality though. it was a really scary process. you never knew how that person would react, and you were fine never being in a romantic relationship with a girl. you really did want to spend the rest of you life with matt. it was only far though that matt knew the real you.
matt knocked on your door exactly 9 minutes and 23 seconds after he hung up the phone. you were so nervous you kept count.
he let himself in like normal and made his way to your couch, leaning down to give you a kiss.
“okay, so what did you want to show me” matt asked with a dopey smile on his face.
“well,” you started. “i found something this morning and i’d like you to listen to it.”
you made your way over to the cd player and pressed play on the song, not so formally named, pretty girls.
a long 2 minutes and 26 seconds went by before the song ended.
“it was a good song, sweetheart. i love all of your music, but i’m a little confused about what it means. are you trying to tell me something? did someone do something to you? i’m not really comprehending.” matt began to ramble.
you took his hands in your, “okay i’ll explain. so basically, about a year before we started dating i was friends with this girl named alexa.” you stopped to take a deep breath but it came out shakier then expected.
“it’s okay love take your time”
you couldn’t get through the rest of the story.
“i’m not straight, matt”
you could see his eyes slightly widen but he nodded at you to continue.
“i’m bisexual, and alexa was the first girl i even did anything with. it didn’t really mean anything, to either of us, but she was the only one that knew and we were at a party. and she wanted to experiment, but she had a boyfriend. and it’s all a little blurry, but i needed to tell you because i’m really tired of hiding it.” your eyes started to fill with tears at your rant. it all was settling in on you.
“i really don’t want to lose you because i love you so fucking much, but i had to tell you how i really feel. and the song doesn’t really have anything to do about it, but it seemed like a good lead way into the topic.”
matt let go of your hands. you looked up at him in confusion and wariness. he instead grabbed your face and used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears that had begun to fall. he leaned his forehead against yours with tears also in his eyes.
“can i say something now?” matt asks.
you gave him a nod with a slight laugh.
“i am so proud of you.” matt said with a raspy chuckle. “i am so grateful that you felt comfortable enough to share that with me. you have not idea what it means. i see how much shit people who are homosexual go though and it’s really scary. so thank you.”
“and you could never lose me for being honest with me. if anything it makes me love you even more.”
once matt finished talking, you leaned forward to give him a passionate kiss. matt layed his back into your couch as he pulled you into his chest so he was holding you.
you went on to have a long and intense conversation on the entire event that happened between you and alexa. you also told him how and when you realized you were bisexual.
“i kinda want to put the song out.” you said as you played with the hem on his shirt.
“i think that’s a great idea, baby”
an: the end. i’m sorry it’s kinda short but full song credits go to mother renee rapp. i could’ve never written this without her. i hope y’all enjoyed🤍
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liliewrites · 7 months ago
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aaaaa hello there! I'm new to your blog and I gotta say that u got a hottest way to write fics and I NEED to request a such good writer like you :::]
So there's been a fic scenario stuck on my head for when since I've been simping for arlecchino and I'd like to request it now that is 🏳️‍🌈 month: I imagine a school au where fem!reader is in the same class as arle and reader can't get along with her at all! So one day, teacher and classmates was talking about pride month and sexuality, she starts saying about that gay/lesbian/bisexuality(etc) are something ridiculous and that she doesn't agree with it, but it was all a lie as she hid the fact that she was a complete lesbian whose been obsessed with reader for long time😍, and when one day, reader was going somewhere in the highschool, we find arle pleasuring herself in a private place from school thinking about reader(u can decide where, idm) and reader caught her by accident, so she got all embarrassed but instead of pushing reader away, she just pulls reader in the same room as her as she confesses every feeling and well... You know what happens next ;)
Idk if it's too much to ask about adding scissoring, but I'd like that act to happen in the fic 🥺 ofc no forcing tho. Sorry if it's long! This was just my scenario, feel free to modify it as much as you want :) aND again, love ur writing sm 💕
HELLOOO ANONNN:DD THANK YOU FOR REQUESTINGG AND THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY FICS!! IT'S AN HONOR REALLYYY:)) I HOPE YOU ENJOY AND I LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!! eat well, anonn:D arlecchino will be referred to as peruere here, btw! as i find the name peruere cute and better suited for younger depictions of her:))
-warning/s ; slight homophobia, filthy ass smut, public sex, students (but to keep it safe, they'll be written as college/senior high students in mind.)
-pairing/s ; arlecchino x fem!reader
(men and minor please dni utc)
you didn't mean to eavesdrop, you weren't even sure how you heard their conversation. you were just minding your business, when you heard peruere and another one of your classmates' conversation.
"hey pers, have you heard of that silly little pride month thing?"
".. i have, but i do not wish to engage with it. homosexuality is nothing but a disgusting display of animalistic tendencies."
"sheesh. i gotta agree with you though. them gay people are weird. say you know that.. alhaitham guy? i heard he was.."
you immediately moved away as far as you could to not hear anymore of their conversation. you didn't want to hear anymore of this, it made your stomach churn since you weren't straight yourself. your impression of your two classmates turned a bit more sour. you made a mental note to be more weary of peruere since she seemed to be more negative regarding people like you.
but why was it..
why was it that you found yourself in quite the predicament?
after a few days from that awful conversation you heard that which you desperately tried to rip off of your mind. you were part of the group of students that were tasked to clean the classroom after class, but as pesky as your classmates were, they all slipped through your teacher to skip cleaning duty and you were the only one left. with an irritated sigh, you headed to the bathroom to grab the cleaning supplies from the closet.
"mm.. ngh.."
you immediately froze as soon as you stepped in. surely, your ears were fooling you..? yet you heard it again, a moan. you didn't know whether to be scared or embarrassed. your feet were glued to the ground, you were scared to accidentally disturb the person who was.. well, doing their own business.
"a-ah.. y/n.."
your eyes widened. you knew to whom that voice belonged to. why was she, peruere, moaning your name?
you felt like you were shaking in your own shoes. you felt conflicted as to what to do right now, you knew you had to leave- but you just couldn't run away. you shook your head, no, you had to.
as you turned to leave for the door, you just had to trip over the broom you forgot you were holding in your hands. you fell to your front, a loud thud echoing throughout the bathroom- oh you are definitely dead now.
"who's there??"
you immediately got up and grabbed your stuff, but you heard the last stall's door click open. you fumbled, extremely panicked now as you knew she saw you. ".. oh, it's you."
"you heard me, didn't you?"
your felt your breath get stuck in your throat, but you shook your head. "no, i-i didn't know you were even here, i'm sorry.."
with a click of her tongue, you knew she knew you were lying. she grabbed you by the shoulder, making you face her with a pissed expression on her face. "you're lying." she said with a cold tone, her intense gaze casted upon you in a menacing way. "i-i won't tell anyone, i promise-"
your brain had shut off as she leaned in to kiss you.
her lips pressed against yours, her hand on your shoulder gripping on to you so tightly that you couldn't move away. she leaned back, pushing you against the bathroom sink. "shut up. you're being too loud. other people will hear us." she whispered in your ear as she leaned back in. her hands tightly gripped your hips, lifting you up to sit on the sink. "i'm sorry, sweet thing.. but can you blame me? you're such a pretty little doll." she whispered against your neck, causing chills to run up and down your spine as she leaned in to her lips against your skin again and again. "i-i thought.. you were against same sex relationships, peruere?" you said in between little breaths, gasping everytime she nibbled a little on your skin. you grasped on her shoulders, trying to ground yourself and not get too lost in the midst of her peppering kisses on your neck and collarbone.
"it was all a fluke. i didn't want to let them know that you had me wrapped around your pretty little finger."
she mumbled as she licked on your skin, just under your jaw before biting down, not too hard to actually hurt you but with just enough pressure to make you feel her teeth sink into you. she immediately covered your mouth, muffling your loud gasp. for a moment, you caught an embarrassed look on her face as she leaned back for a moment to catch her breath. "you're.. just too pretty. i like you, but we've never talked. so i always thought i didn't have a chance with you." she confessed, before kissing your cheek. her sudden switch made you see a more endearing side to her, and it just made you want to give in more and more to her.
"oh, but who cares.. you've already caught me. might as well make you mine."
she pulled away, wiping her lips. drool was dripping down her lips. she looked like a starved woman, hungry for you. the sight made you throb with need.
"if you want this, that is." she said as she then pulled away. panicked, you grabbed her wrist, pulling her in to press your lips against hers.
peruere was obviously surprised, but she immediately gave in and kissed back with equal, if not more, fervor. you were leaning back against the mirror, with her in the middle of your thighs as you both relished in the feeling of being pressed against each other. her heart was practically leaping in joy, seeing you want her just as much as she wanted you.
"f.. fuck, you're so pretty, so.."
she looked at you with mesmerized eyes, her hand trailing down from your hips to make it's way to go under your skirt and grip your thighs. for a moment, you forgot you were in public and had leaned in to chase for her lips once again, but she avoided it. confused and left needing for more, you looked at her with pleading eyes. she only chuckled, finding your eagerness so damn adorable.
"not here, sweet thing, we won't have any privacy. fix yourself up, let's head to the classroom. we can lock the door there."
as she separared from you to pick up the cleaning supplies. you couldn't help but pout, but you knew she had a point. so you hopped off the counter and fixed your uniform. you then went over to her, offering to help her with carrying the stuff, but she simply dismissed you with a straight face. "no, it's fine. i'll carry this for you."
you nodded, feeling your heart skip a beat. peruere was such a mystery to you, but it made you want to know more about her.
you both left the bathroom, trying to act as normal as possible- well, at least you were. peruere had a totally calm expression on her face, while you were a silent and flustered mess. as you both walked through the hallways, your homeroom teacher saw the both of you.
"oh! peruere, how nice of you. i'm so glad you volunteered to help. poor y/n here is always left alone to clean. i swear, those little brats deserve to be taught a lesson.."
she sighed, looking at you apologetically. "it's fine. i don't mind helping y/n out.. since she's helping me out too. if you may excuse us, teacher, we'll go ahead now.."
the teacher looked at you both with a sweet smile as she watched you both enter the classroom. "what diligent students, i swear, peruere and y/n are the only two good students i have.."
oh, but your teacher could never have been more wrong.
as soon as the door was shut and locked. peruere immediately pushed you down on a random desk, her hand wrapping around your waist to pull you in as close to her as possible as her lips returned to kissing your skin again, but she was more impatient and rougher this time. "peruere.. you're too.." you breathed out, she was more needy and hungry for you than earlier.
"shh, i'm going to help you.. but you have to help me out too.."
she grasped your hand, bringing it under her skirt. you were startled at her sudden boldness, but you could feel how wet and dripping she was through her underwear. "in fact, you caused this. so it's technically your responsibility.." she grumbled, before popping open the buttons of your shirt with haste. she stared down at your pretty chest, her hands pulling your bra up to let your pretty tits fall out. "p-peruere! this is.." you immediately covered your face, looking away as heat filled your body.
"hush, darling. the door is locked, but they can still hear us if they pass by.."
her lips immediately latched on to your tits, her tongue circling your now erect nipples slowly. with your hand covering your mouth to contain your moans, the other was on the back of her head, your fingers tangled in her hair as you held on to her tighter.
while her mouth was busy sucking your sweet tits, her hands forced your legs to spread even more open in front of her. you bit down on your hand, fighting back the urge to gasp and moan loudly at the sudden feeling of your clit being touched and rubbed by her fingers through your panties.
she pulled away from your tits with a pop, a bit of drool dripping down her chin once again as she grinned at you. "fuck- you're even more wet than me. you're quite literally dripping.."
as if to prove her point, she pulled your skirt down along with your underwear. the exposure to the cold air made your whole body shiver, but you felt even more embarassed to be out and exposed like this at school. "this is.. this is too much, peruere. what if someone sees us?" you asked, trying your hardest to resist the arousal pooling in your lower tummy, but you knew you couldn't fight it anymore.
"just keep your voice down, love. no one will come in.."
she also removed her skirt and underwear, completely leaving herself bare and naked like you. you couldn't help but stare, she looked so.. taunting. you wanted to just stuff your face in there and taste her. you gulped, and peruere noticed you staring at her. "you want to feel my pussy, don't you..?" she asked with a teasing voice. you threw all your known morals and dignity out the window, nodding desperately at her question. "please, peruere.. i can't take it anymore."
fuck. peruere wanted to tease you some more, but hearing you sound say please with that needy tone of yours had completely drived her over the edge.
she pulled you down from the desk, gently laying you down on the cold floor. it wasn't the best place to fuck in right now, but she needed you right here and right now. she carefully positioned herself on top of you, grabbing on to your leg for leverage.
"f-fuck, love.. you feel so good, so warm.."
she groaned as her clit made in contact with yours and no more than a minute, she had pressed herself against you and started moving her hips against you. "peruere, peruere.. it's so wet.." you moaned out, covering your mouth to muffle your moans again. you closed your eyes in pure ecstacy, the sensation of your pussy rubbing against hers and your clits just bumping into each other. it was far too good, you felt like you were losing your mind.
"oh shit, doll... i-i can feel you throb against me.."
both of you were now struggling to contain your noises, so she pulled you up and leaned in to kiss you as she grinded her pussy against yours. both of you had no shame left, not caring whether you were in school or not anymore as you both chased your highs.
"shit- shit, peruere.. i-i'm about to-"
you whined as you pulled away from the kiss to catch your breathe again. both of you were a panting mess, pressing against each other harder and harder. "let go for me, sweet thing. i-i'm about to cum as well.."
you bucked your hips against peruere, both of your movements were losing rhythm and were becoming erratic. the knot in your tummy was tightening, and without another second, everything turned white around you as you almost let out a strangled moan if peruere hadn't pressed her lips against yours.
she immediately wrapped her arms around you, catching you before you'd fall back to the floor and hurt yourself. as you felt yourself clench around nothing, you twitched and shivered in her arms, letting out fucked out whines against her neck. this was the first time you've felt such an intense orgasm where you've completely lost yourself to the pleasure, it almost made you cry. "shh, love. i got you.. i got you." she coaxed you, a bit caught off guard to how sensitive you are, but it was just another cute thing about you.
she then caught your lips in hers this time, but it was sweet and soft this time. it was such a different feeling from the earlier kisses you exchanged with her earlier.. but you liked it. you loved it.
as you finally calmed down in her arms, peruere pressed a kiss to your forehead and took off her blazer to wrap it around you. "go and rest for a little bit, love. i'll go clean us up and then i'll help you with cleaning up, okay?" her tone was more gentle now and it made your heart flutter once again just like earlier. "be rest assured, my love. i'll take good care of you.." she whispered as she pressed another kiss on your cheek, before getting up to grab some tissues from her bag to clean you up. from now on, you started to see peruere in a better light. maybe.. she wasn't so bad after all.
(little bonus hihi)
the next day, everyone was obviously stunned at the sight of you and peruere coming to school with your hands intertwined. ever since she had confessed to you, she refused to leave your side. of course, peruere is peruere. a top student with an apathetic expression on her face most of the time paired with a manner of speaking that may or may not have permanently scarred a few other students for life and to see her latching on to you, holding your hand and blatantly admitting that you were her lover when a few of the bolder students asked? they were baffled. a lot of students were too intimidated by her to say anything.. but you and her were a cute couple. i mean, it wasn't everyday that you got to see peruere smitten and blushing like she had a fever when you had suddenly kissed her on the cheek during lunch break when she handed you the bread you asked for.
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piratefishmama · 2 years ago
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Fake it 'Till You Make It | Part 3
“Alright so, how long has this throwing men at you thing been happening?” Not a sentence Eddie Munson ever expected to be saying out loud, especially not to Steve Harrington, but there they were, sat in the back of his van, which Eddie had parked just off of Cornwallis, his van hidden among the trees, safe from prying eyes.
They had to get their story straight, even if nothing about what they were doing was straight, that had to be straight. Especially straight enough to fool a goddamn lawyer like Lynda Harrington.
Eddie was just glad he’d left the pillows and blankets in there from the other week when he’d claimed he had a love nest in his van to a particularly horrified set of parents.
Nothing quite like the mental image of your barely legal precious daughter getting down an dirty in the back of a beat up old van. Fabulous.
It was actually quite nice though, he even put fairy lights up in there.
“The whole shebang, just over a month. But the men… that’s new. They haven’t managed to actually introduce me to anyone yet, one of the joys of queer shit being so frowned upon, they cant find a willing guy to come forward.” No-one daring enough to take the risk, not even for a Harrington.
“Can’t say I blame em, you’re having to pay me to out my own ass to your parents, they’re well respected, people expect them to be on the ‘right’ side of history” ‘right’ said with very sarcastic air quotes and matching tone.
“People are gonna be surprised then.” About as surprised as Steve was, probably. “So… are you… I mean… outing yourself? It’s… you don’t have to tell me but—I just… if they want proof i—I don’t wanna make you—” Steve was staring into his lap, awkward, cheeks flushed, adorable. Fucking… adorable… not a term of endearment he ever thought he’d throw at Steve Harrington.
So many unexpected turns for a Sunday morning.
“Mnhm, I’m ah… like you I suppose. Only I think I’m more of a five on the Kinsey scale…” at Steve’s raised brow and adorable puppy head tilt, Eddie smiled sheepishly, of course the King of the Jocks wouldn’t know what the damn Kinsey scale was. “That’s uh… it kinda measures bisexuality? It’s rarely an exact 50/50 split between liking guys and girls, most lean one way or the other, with an interest in more… I uh… I lean more towards men… you…”
“Girls… I think.” Eddie nodded, it was what he expected. “But—what’s the scale?”
“Zero to six, six being gay and zero being straight. I’m pretty solidly a five I think…” five made sense to him. He’d found girls attractive before, maybe even had a crush on one once, a pretty cheerleader who’d made his palms sweaty and his heart beat fast enough to make him turn tail and run in terror, but boys were his go to. “It’s not an exact science though, I mean shit, you don’t have to label anything.”
“… I feel like a three.”
“A three?” Higher than he expected but, as of that morning he’d thought Steve was a zero. No clue what so ever that he’d ever even entertained the idea of boys.
“Mn… I’ve… I’ve definitely been attracted to men before, a few men actually… some ruined it immediately by being assholes” Eddie didn’t want to guess, but a few jocks did come to mind “but… I’ve never tried anything, y’know?” Aww, never touched a boy, cute. “And telling my parents? That was recent, like, really recent, and impulsive. I just didn’t expect them to pull this whole ‘we can throw men at you now!’ Schtick so… to answer your original question, about two weeks now. Why?”
“Building a believable timeframe so we can have an idea as to where they might expect us to be in our ‘relationship.’ Your mom’s a lawyer right? Shits not gonna be as easy as telling them we’re dating and have that be that she’s gonna want the when’s, the how’s, the details, normal moms do, yours is a lawyer dude, we have to be spot on with everythin or this will be a total waste of time, and money on your part cause obviously, no refunds.” He may not be dealing as much as he used to be once he realised he had other more valuable services to offer,
And the party king stopped throwing parties??
But his policies were still pretty iron tight.
Steve just nodded his head, he understood, Eddie couldn’t get his time back so, however many days he spent there, he’d be paid for each one regardless of the outcome. “Alright… what do you normally do with these dates then?”
“Freak the fuck out of their parents usually. Be vulgar, insinuate things, the Gillespie’s hate being called by their first names?? No idea why, but that was an easy spot to poke at, I’ll talk about my band, offer weed to chill out, y’know, typical things that’d make a parent in rural Indiana pale at the thought that their sweet daughters had only skimmed the surface of the dating pool, finding just the scum the pool boy hadn’t cleaned out and settling with it.”
It could have been self-deprecating, in fact Steve almost told him not to think of himself like that but Eddie seemed genuinely amused by the whole thing, it was all an act.
He was a mischievous gremlin, he was making himself the worst of the worst in front of these people, he didn’t think he was that person, he just acted the part like some kind of drama club performance.
Oh god, wasn’t he in drama? “…That’s uhm… that’s a mental image.”
“I’m a storyteller” Eddie shrugged “sometimes I talk about DnD too, and—”
“I mean how do you prepare for them?”
“Oh… not much to prepare for on those ones, it’s usually just one night and the main goal is to fuck it up so bad that the girls’ parents don’t want their daughter going anywhere near that stupid pool out of the fear that she’ll settle for scum again, this is the first long term relationship I’ve had to fake! And you want me to fake it properly, not just fuck it up, I mean… It can’t be a surprise to you that I’ve never been in a relationship, right?”
Steve wanted to be polite, he really did! But no, it wasn’t a surprise.
Not because Eddie wasn’t attractive, it’d be a lie to claim that. Eddie Munson was… a special kind of attractive to Steve. The oh god what? Kind of attractive that only existed when a polo-wearing jock type like Steve, found someone like Eddie attractive.
That kind of attractive.
He had a nice, soft face, framed perfectly by a mass of badly maintained curls. Not badly in the way that they were dirty, just… it was clear he had no idea how to tame them, how to enhance them, how to do anything with them other than apparently put a brush through them and make himself look like he’d been dragged through a bush. Twice.
He had those big brown eyes, expressive, could easily find himself stuck in them if he looked for too long.
The smile with the dimples? Gold star on that one.
He didn’t have acne, or pimples, he didn’t stink, he clearly cared about basic hygiene, but that was all surface level stuff.
He was also expressive about his interests, which was an attractive trait, he was sneaky smart.
Sure teachers had all but written him off as an imbecile and he’d heard a few saying that over the years to the poor guys face, but Steve had seen Eddie do difficult multiplications on the fly.
He’d seen Eddie recite Shakespeare off the top of his head, prattle off verse after verse, sometimes free styling in perfect iambic pentameter if the teachers dropped jaw was enough of a sign.
He'd seen Eddie climb a rope in gym. Dude was squirrelly, he had muscle in those arms, and nobody in that gym knew where he’d built it. Maybe he wasn’t gifted at dodgeball, but he could sure as hell climb shit.
He’d seen Eddie be an effective businessman. Tommy had bought from him a few times, and he’d seen Eddie dealing at his parties. The guy knew his shit when it came to drugs, he didn’t just deal and bail, he stuck around and made sure people were safe. Could always answer questions if people had them, so he could retain knowledge just fine, it just had to align with his interests.
School didn’t work for him, that didn’t make him unintelligent. Steve could respect that. Steve could relate to that. Except he did feel like he was kind of an idiot.
But no… it wasn’t a surprise that Eddie hadn’t been in a relationship.
People looked at him warily in school, he put up a shield around himself made of barbs shot at every clique the school had, he fired off pastor at a megachurch worthy sermons about being against conformity and capitalism from atop school lunch tables.
He was in band, drama club, AV club, the dude was a nerd of the highest order, the ‘image conscious’ girls of Hawkins High didn’t wanna be seen with that.
So even if he did sort of like girls, stupid high school girls wouldn’t like him. Wouldn’t appreciate him the way he should be appreciated.
“…No, I guess it’s not a surprise… high school sucks though, man. There’s no permanence in high school flings.”
“Would have at least liked a fling though, that would have been cool.” Would he though? No. As much as it didn’t align with the whole rockstar life he had thought up for himself, he wanted something… bulkier. Something with more to it than surfing strangers beds. He wanted permanence.
Wanted someone to come home to, arms he knew, a garden he could fuck around in, maybe a tree to sit in and write songs on warm summer days.
A fireplace to snuggle up in front of with a special someone.
Maybe a kid, or three.
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, Eddie. Trust me. You had fun doing what you did, I got my heart stomped on over and over again, not fun.” It didn’t sound fun. Eddie wanted to reach out, it wasn’t far, they were in a small van, two pretty tall guys, there wasn’t much space there, he could have reached out but… the space between them still felt too vast.
“…Guess it’s a tend to your own field kind of thing then eh?” Steve looked at him with a small frown, a question in his expression “y’know… the grass is always greener on the other side? Just tend to your own field, the grass will grow. Do your own thing, it’ll be better for you…? That kind of thing.”
“Ah… then yeah, it’s a tend to your own field kind of thing.” Eddie smiled and gently bopped his head in agreement. A surprisingly comfortable silence stretched for a moment until “I think… a week would be best. Say we’ve been dating a week, but met at one of your gigs a few weeks back maybe? It’d explain why I’ve been less than enthused about any of their choices. I was already into someone.”
“…You know about my gigs?” Oh could those brown eyes get any bigger?
“Yeah? Tuesdays at The Hideout right? Dustin keeps trying to bribe me into taking him…” Eddie’s smile turned a little softer, warmer, prettier, he had such a soft spot for that kid it wasn’t even fair. “I could say Robin an I decided to check it out to see if it was ‘kid friendly’ enough to take him, Robin introduced us since she’d know you from band, you teased me about being there, but not in a mean way cause beneath all those barbs at us poor jocks, you’re actually really nice, and we just hit it off? Took us a bit of time to feel each other out cause it’s dangerous to be like us but once we did it was like… bam. Stars collided or some shit.”
“…You’re… surprisingly in tune with this queer shit, Harrington…”
“I’ve known I was bisexual for a while, Eddie… it’s not new to me, I know it’s dangerous, I’ve seen what jocks like me do to people like me… even when there’s no proof only rumour or because you look it… I know how dangerous it is to be like us… but do you think it’d work though?”
“…The barebones story is there, we can world-build. Now let’s talk boundaries.”
Part 5
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moeitsu · 7 months ago
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Since it's pride month I wanna talk about something I've noticed in the Red Dead Redemption fandom:
The Bisexual erasure of Sadie Adler and Arthur Morgan.
I apologize if this comes across as harsh, but it's something that's been on my mind since I started interacting w/ this media. And as a bisexual, I wanted to discuss it further.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with shipping these characters with the same sex. Personally, I am a Charthur shipper till the day I die. I don't ship Sadie with anyone but her husband, but I still enjoy seeing the fanart and headcanons of the women she's shipped with.
That being said, these characters are not lesbian or gay. That's literally a fact, and if you think otherwise it is bisexual erasure.
Let's start with Sadie Adler. Her entire character arc is getting revenge on the O'Driscolls for killing her husband. Whom she mourns for years, and talks about frequently with Arthur/other camp members. Now, if you want to ship her w/ Abigail or Molly or whomever, go for it!! But she has loved and still loves her husband. She is not a lesbian, and she didn't just magically turn into a lesbian after Jake's death. If she had any love interests other than Jake, this would make her bisexual. (even Sapphic is still a more appropriate term than lesbian)
The same goes for women in real life who have dated men first, then dated a woman. Just because their current partner is the same sex doesn't mean we can assume they are suddenly lesbian. Calling characters lesbians even if they have been in a relationship with men before is bisexual erasure.
This same concept is applied to Arthur Morgan. He had previous relationships with women. (one of whom he still has strong feelings for) and he is attracted to women. We see this with his greeting dialogue and when he compliments people. I believe Arthur's character is more likely to be bisexual than Sadie's, given his interactions w/ some of the men in the game. But that doesn't erase the fact that he's still attracted to the opposite sex. Arthur is not a gay man. Disregarding his past relationships w/ women is a form of bisexual erasure.
There is a huge double standard here because if these character's were actually lesbian/gay and the fandom decided to ship them with people of the opposite sex (i.e headcanon they are bi), there would be a major discourse.
Whenever bisexual women and men are presented in the media I always notice a few things:
Bi women are "secretly straight"
Bi women "don't know their lesbian yet"
Bi men are "secretly gay"
As well as this funny little graphic below ↓
Tumblr media
Like I said before, I am bisexual. And if I'm being honest this years pride month has been exhausting and mildly infuriating with how the community seems to disregard bisexuals in a hetero relationship.
I stopped talking about my bisexuality with people because once they know I have been in a committed relationship with a man for seven years, I am suddenly excluded from the conversation.
I've had ex-friends tell me that I only identify as bisexual to "fit in" with the queer community. I've had people in college assume I was lesbian bc of the way I dressed, and then try to tell me that I must be secretly lesbian when I tell them I'm Bi. (Ppl also assumed I was non-binary bc of the way I presented but that's another story)
This stuff doesn't just happen to fictional characters, it happens to real people every single day. I'm honestly tired of ppl saying "well my headcanon doesn't hurt anybody, they're not real." Yes it does!! You are supporting Bi erasure!!
That's all I'm gonna say on this topic for now. I'd love to leave it open for discussion, but please be nice. This isn't a call-out or me trying to antagonize the queer rdr community. I just wanted to get it off my mind.
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clownery-and-fuckery · 7 months ago
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It's pride month so.... have my gay Bad Batch thoughts I suppose (based on vibes and vibes alone.)
Hunter:
Popular opinion that I agree with? Dude is FTM trans, and has the worst time with it bcus all his T-Shots were externally bought so the Empire cut his ass OFF. also. hes a little gay. A mini bisexual, if you would. prefers women by a long shot. (He/him all the way- he wont correct, but Wrecker will.)
Crosshair:
gay. gay. dude is a MAN kisser. hes scared of women. never seen a boob in his life and he intends to stay that way. he's The Homo of the group. yes, they do make fun of him for being a boy kisser. yes, they also make fun of him for pulling NO BITCHES EVER. (He/him too and he CARES. he will correct you meanly.)
Wrecker:
pansexual icon who will love anyone. He's also pulled more than Hunter, so, take THAT. He's a hopeless romantic who falls in love with at least ONE natborn per mission. He confesses this each and every time and has maybe kissed two people. He's always encouraged. (He/him mostly but he won't mind he/they, he'll just gently correct sometimes)
Tech:
oh. He's a true bisexual. A real man and woman kisser. Perchance at once if he's drunk enough. Phee and him look at hot people and go "Oh, wow, woa". He's the bi-wife. However, his acknowledgement of attraction only works for him. He'll acknowledge you're attractive, but good look with convincing him YOU find him attractive. As far as he knows, no one looks twice at him. (Also, his gender isn't real. Sometimes he's a man, sometimes she's a woman. Sometimes they're neither. It's easier to just say that Tech is Tech. Because how come Tech gets boobs AND a dick? Unfair. They/he/her)
Echo:
originally it was assumed that he was the token straight. Until they discovered actually there's no romantic attraction there at all so, Echo's our resident aro. He's dabbled in 18+ acts of course, but the attraction never went beyond that, so he vibes. He's down for platonic and brotherly affections, but don't you dare make a romantic gesture, gross. (He/him but... he did enjoy when people thought he a she when he was undercover once, so she?)
Bonus!!!!
Rex:
We found our token straight, lads. He's never seen a boob either, though. He'll get there, eventually. Very dense, very silly. He's too tired and busy for such things. (He/him only because he doesn't know of any other option)
Cody:
Now. I know what you're gonna think. Gay. But might I throw out a suggestion? Dude is just a mean bisexual. Heavy preference for men, but he CAN pick up a woman or two. (He/him, regs are borning/j)
Wolffe:
This guy. This guy gets uncomfortable when anyone who isn't his brothers holds his hand. THIS MAN is the true aroace of the GAR. he watches his brothers and he shudders. (though he Wonders. sometimes) he'll huff and puff his way through a romcom for the Wolfpack on movie night, I guess. (He/they only because he likes being an extension of the Wolfpack)
Gregor:
Pan-romantic asexual. Dude is down to date anyone, but the armour Stays On. He finds himself much more fulfilled with simple park dates and cooking at 2am, you know?? (ALSO they/he as per his identity crisis. He's a CLONE??? HUH???? wild)
Bly:
Another "token straight" but he'll never escape the bisexual allegations 😔 (because its true and him and his wife have so had a third party member before) but he's also rather curious. So. Bi-curious. (He/him)
Fox:
Oh lord. This man. Gay. He's gay but no one knows because he passes well. Also, ace. He's done his fair share of people, he doesn't understand the appeal. Down to make out messy in a closet though, he understands THAT. but nothing more. (He/him called "it" by the Senate and he doesn't care. But his brothers do.)
That's all you get. Happy gay month. If I missed someone you can ask and I'll give you their Vibes. ✨️
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peppermintquartz · 18 days ago
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Chris opens the door and embraces Deacon in a warm welcome. He hugs her back with one arm, the other holding flowers and a case of beer. It feels almost like old times.
"It's been too long, man," she chides. "Come on in. Street's so excited, he's gone out to get this amazing tiramisu we found on one of our dates."
"You didn't have to go to that much trouble," Deacon says, smiling. "Oh that smells great."
"My aunt gave me a surefire chili recipe. We've tested it several times, it's definitely good."
"And you look good. How's everything? The shelter doing okay?"
"Yeah," says Chris. "Thanks to Nichelle, I got in touch with some sympathetic ears and they've been super generous, and I've been able to find a steady roster of volunteers. Plus, with our rep, we're left alone for the most part, and anyone trying anything gets warned off fast by the ones running the block."
Deacon makes a face. "Not sure if that's the safest way to go about things."
"Gotta work both sides of the law now," Chris says with a shrug. Deacon means well but he's still a straight white man who has always lived in privilege. "But my girls are all on the straight and narrow. I've fourteen of them with me, and six have found sponsors to help them to get work permits, which will help with getting full documentation. I'm helping another two cooperate with police because they were smuggled here after being sold by their parents for cash, and the rest... well, we'll get there." She grimaces before grinning. "Sorry. I get excited talking about my work."
"No, no it's good. I'm happy for you." Deacon hands her the colorful bouquet and the beer. "It's great that you found your purpose."
Thanking him for the gifts and rummaging around for a vase or jug for the flowers, she asks, "So how come you're here alone? I was under the impression that it'll be you and Annie. Wine?"
"Water, please. I'm driving." Deacon sits down in one of the chairs around the dining table. She wonders what he notices about the place on his second visit. It's a cozy apartment, despite the industrial elements; she especially likes the new potted herbs Street has insisted upon, even though neither of them can tell a cabbage from a lettuce.
"I, uh, I wanted to chat with you, actually. Not, not chat." Deacon says as he rubs his wedding ring. "I want your advice on something that I need you to keep secret."
An odd feeling tickles the back of her neck. She sits down in the chair beside him, wondering if she should hold her friend's hand. "Sounds serious."
"I think it is." He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly, like he's planning to dive into the deep end of a pool. "Chris, how and w-when did you know you're bisexual?"
Chris' eyebrows shoot up. That is definitely not a question she was expecting. "Uh. Okay. For me, I was fifteen and really into a boy, a classmate." Enrique Garcia, she recalls, lean and athletic with the cutest freckle on his right cheek, with a shoulder-length mop of gleaming dark curls. "And then, one day, I met him and his older sister Alina at the mall. She was really nice when we talked and my mind kinda went a little insane thinking how pretty she was and how much I'd love to kiss her."
"And that was... That was how you knew?"
She shrugs. "Some reading up and some very confusing dreams later, I kinda figured it out." She angles her head and studies Deacon. "Are you...?"
"Fifteen, wow." Deacon chews on his lower lip. The tips of his ears are red and he can't meet her eyes. "Maybe I'm too old for this."
"You met someone who's causing you to question everything you knew about your sexuality?"
He ducks his head, still fiddling with his wedding ring. "Yes," he admits quietly. "And I know, I know it's not good, I'm married and I have Annie, it's just really..."
Chris smiles and holds his forearm. "Confusing."
"So confusing," Deacon agrees with a brief chuckle. His voice sounds so unsure and lost that it's disorienting for Chris. That isn't the Deacon she has known for the past decade. "Annie is the perfect woman for me. Like, once I met her and got to know her, I knew she was the one I wanted to marry and have a family with. And I thought that was it. That that is all I would ever need or want."
"But now you've met someone. Some guy."
Ducking his head, Deacon bites his lip and shakes his head. "I'm over fifty, Chris. I shouldn't be having sexuality crises at this age. But, yes. I met some guy."
"He's that special, huh." Chris hopes she doesn't sound judgmental. Having been through this with her own family, she feels for him. And a part of her feels honored that someone she respects so much will choose to come out to her. "Am I the first to know?"
"Yes." He clears his throat. "I never thought I would be interested in a man like that. And yet... I feel happy whenever I see him. I worry about him at work. I hear a song on the radio and it'll remind me of him."
There's something that Deacon is hiding. After so many years as a cop and now helping scared women, she's learned to read between the lines.
Still holding his forearm, she says, "Thanks for trusting me with this, Deac. I'm so honored by your trust."
He sniffs and finally looks at her, his eyes dewy with a hint of tears. "Chris, am I bisexual?"
"You could be," she says. "I can't answer for you. I'm not some mind reader for queer people. You might be attracted to women in general and one guy in particular, and that's normal. Sexuality is a spectrum and the great thing is, you get to define yourself. It may feel overwhelming-"
"Understatement of the year."
"-but I can point you in the direction of some websites or resources you can refer to. Don't be surprised if any are angled at teens, though. Most people who are questioning tend to be young."
"Unlike this old geezer," Deacon jokes weakly. She squeezes his forearm as she grins, then lets go of him.
"You're never too old to learn new tricks, Deac." Taking a deep breath, Chris leans closer and says, "I'm gonna ask something that may be invasive, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but you may feel better if you do."
Deacon sighs like he knows what's coming and looks at her.
"Are you seeing this guy?"
The guilt that flickers over Deacon's face tells Chris enough.
"Oh, Deac..." She pulls him into a hug.
"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to know about that," he murmurs.
She squeezes him and pulls back enough to smile at him. "I'm your friend, Deac. But you know you can't have him."
He nods, pressing his lips tightly together. "I know. I wish... I don't know what I wish. But Chris... Chris, I'm so happy when I'm with him." There's a waver in his voice. "I didn't know that I could even be this happy with anyone."
Not even with Annie.
The words are not said, but she hears them as clear as day. She hugs him again.
They hear the keys jingle and Deacon straightens, rubbing his thumb and index finger over his eyes while clearing his throat.
"Hey, Deacon!" Street comes in with an insulated bag and Chris stands up to welcome him with a kiss. His dimples deepen and his eyes light up. "Hey babe. Deac, come here, bring it in."
Deacon smiles and hugs Street. The mask has fallen back in place over Deacon's face and Chris makes sure hers is present too.
"I'll go plate up dinner," she says with a smile, kissing Street again as she passes him and takes the tiramisu from his hands, leaving the two men to catch up. Deacon won't tell Street what he told her; that's not the friendship they have, and she knows he trusts her not to tell anyone what he's revealed to her.
It's not her secret to tell, and Deacon will need time. He'll do the right thing, she's sure. She only hopes he figures out what the right thing for him will be.
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