#well. there are other things but i fear the reaction would be more than annoyance

[domistique]

how many times can one post about charles leclerc crossdressing/being effeminate before follower start getting annoyed googel search

[angelltheninth]

Blinder Than the Blind

Pairing: James "Bucky" Barnes x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, angst, injury, working together, teammates, first kiss, Bucky is bad at feelings

Word count: 1.2k

Ao3

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions

A/N: Every time I see him I love him just a little bit more. It's not just me is it? I know it's not.

You went on many missions before you went on one with Bucky, The Winter Soldier and kind of your mentor. It was a little annoying because the man was only a few years older then you, well not counting the experiments, and he treated you like a rookie. Going through field training with him was one thing, you could mouth off to him there, but in the helicopter, on the field you recognized stealth and your mission as the priority.

Bucky would never say he was picking on you but he did seem to keep a closer eye on you the most. During daytime it was annoying as hell, but during nighttime you found other uses for his heated gaze.

Another thing you would never admit to him, your massive crush on him.

What started as more of a hero crush, with him being someone you looked up to a lot, devolved into annoyance really fast and came back full force as what often manifested as lust. Thank god he always called you for missions cause you would not handle him hearing the way you moaned his name.

“Bucky, I’m fine. I mean, sir, I’m fine.” You giggled at him as he set you down on the medical bed, your head spinning from the blood loss. “Hey, does it do anything for you? When you get called sir?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at you and resumed reading the report of your admision, not that he had to but he wasn’t going to entertain this flirting from an injured and clearly delirious teammate. “No. But it seems like you don’t know the meaning of the word either. Why rush head first like that? You know where the drop zone was, you jumped before we reached it.” Bucky’s face hardened as he leaned forward in his chair and made a gun motion with his metal hand, “If I hadn’t jumped right after you it could have ended badly.”

That, it was that attitude that irked you. That better then anyone else, superiority complex of his. “So its rules for thee but not for me? Cause I’ve seen you jump off before, I’ve seen you storm a building by yourself, how is that not reckless?” Every time he acted that way your heart would stop for a moment before you remembered-

“I’ve done this since before you were born. It wasn’t pretty, or safe, but I learned how to be good at it. You don’t have the luxury of that. I’m sorry, but you’re off duty for the rest of the week.” Even the pain medication you were on couldn’t help how pissed off you felt at him at this moment. If you weren’t scared it would break your hand you would have punched him on his shoulder. “You’re angry.”

“Oh? What gave you that idea?” You rolled your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to gather your thoughts and feelings, “At least I finally got your attention.”

“What?” Bucky’s responce was lightning fast and shocked, his eyes wide, the papers falling to the med bed.

“Did I just say that out loud?” All the color drained from your face at the realization. Forget the mission, forget the heroics, you just wanted to get snapped out of existence. Or to another universe, anything as long as you didn’t have to stay here in this moment.

Bucky did pay attention to you, but it always when you least wanted him to. “You did this for my attention? Do you think I don’t care about you? Are you blind as well as incapable of following orders?” His voice was rising but not with anger, with fear and worry from your words. It all looked the same to you because, you’d never seen Bucky worried about you.

When you didn’t answer him he leaned back and sighed into his hand, other reaching for your hand. Despite it being colder then your own skin you didn’t move from the contact, although it was far from the reaction you expected. The silence stretched for several minutes, neither of you daring to break it.

“I don’t need your pity, sir. And I don’t need you to treat me like I can’t handle myself on missions.”

“You really are blind, no that would be an insult to a lawyer I know. Real asshole but he can clearly see the things in front of him, he can read people like no other. You?” He chuckled, not quite mocking but you didn’t know how else to read it, “You wouldn’t get it if I spelled it out for you.”

“I also don’t appreciate you thinking I’m stupid, sir.” You grit the last word though your teeth, “Why don’t you try me?” You grabed his hand, pulling him towards you, a taunt you thought he wouldn’t answer.

But he did.

He answered loud and clear, with his lips on your, with his hands on your cheeks, cradling your face like you’d break under him.

He was right. You didn’t understand. “You... kissed me just now?” Your whole world was turned on its head, this whole time you were under the impression that Bucky hated your guts. To be fair, he might, you heard of people hooking up while not actually liking each other, to get the frustrations out. This didn’t feel like that, there was no anger behind that kiss, no frustration, in fact that was the most gentle you’ve witnessed Bucky be.

“I did. Tell me what your conclusion is, when they let you out of here.” His touch lingered for as long as possible, your cheeks burning when his hands fell away. Well shit.

You were absolutely unable to focus on anything the doctor was saying other then when she said you were free to go. In that case you were fine. Right? Wrong. That kiss made your head spin more then the injury itself. Almost enough to make you forget about it all together. Okay, you can figure this out. Bucky liked you. Your heart told you that, your head refused to accept it.

As you walked out of the medical bay you saw him waiting beside the entrance, a worried look on his face. His eyes lifted up to see you, looking well. He was barely able to hide his relived sigh. Well earlier you had the energy to argue with him so you must not have been that bad, still he showed you just how much, and in what way, he cared for you.

“Ready to go?” He didn’t seem to want to address the kiss from earlier, instead he offered you his gloved hand as he stood up, waiting.

Your felt a tightness inside your chest. You could walk past him, you could never speak of the kiss again, you could yell at him for it, you could go back home and yell at yourself for not seeing he cared about you all this time. Or you could simply take his hand. The last one was the choice you want with, and without saying a word, with a gentle smile from Bucky as you took your place by his side you started your walk back to your place.

[sincere1ystar]

Oh my Lover’s Gone, who will I run to now?

billy the kid x fem! reader

Billy falls in love with the daughter of the richest man in town, and even though her father is determined to marry her off to a wealthy man, things change when Billy realizes she’s pregnant with his baby.

Being the daughter of the richest man in town meant that you were born into a world filled with luxuries that other girls could only dream about. Diamonds were more than a distant dream to you, your lavish lifestyle ensured it. Yet you would give it all up for your love, for the real jewels you longed for resided in his eyes.

Even though your father didn’t hinder a particular liking for Billy, that didn’t stop you from seeing him. Everyone in town knew you were Billy’s girl, but your father was sure it was just some rebellious act of youth. “A youthful discretion while you can still take part of them doesn’t hurt anyone”, he used to stay. You never bothered to correct him.

Billy would sneak through your window every night, his arms providing the comfort you desperately craved throughout the day. His words wove you a blanket that not even the most expensive yarns or fabrics could make. It was your nightly ritual, yet this night was different. He found you with your knees pulled up to your chest, your hair falling onto your shoulders.

“Angel…”, he says the nickname coming to him naturally, “Oh angel…What’s wrong?”

You lift your head from your knees, “It’s nothing, just my father and his overbearing expectations for me making their presence known again”.

“Huh? What d’ you mean darlin’?”, you would often confide in him about the future plans that were expected of you and how you never had a choice in the matter, but this time felt different.

“They’ve found a suitor for me… Apparently we’re to meet tomorrow”, you say quietly as if being any more louder would make your statement come true.

His heart drops at your confession. Your father wasn’t exactly subtle with his distaste for Billy, but to set you up with another man? His mind was already reeling as you continued.

“And that’s not all.. Billy I’m pregnant”. Your eyes refused to look up from your shoes.

His eyes shoot open. With shock came happiness, joy that overflowed within him. Before you could fathom any sort of reaction to his display, he took you in his arms spinning you around causing you to giggle senselessly. You were scared out of your mind, being set up with a man while carrying the baby of another, but his kisses drowned out all your fears.

“Well now I’m definitely not gonna let ya go anywhere”, he says breathlessly, still holding you in his arms. “I’ll figure this out darlin.. don’t fret”.

You took his word for it. It was the only comfort you had, the only thing you were allowed to carry with you the next day as you walked into town with your father by your side ranting about what would be considered “improper” for your meeting with your new suitor.

“Papa please..”, you muttered.

“No, no this is for your own good”, your father interrupts, “ He’s a good man he can provide and-”

“But I don’t love him!!!”, you finally exploded, “What’s wealth and status without love? I don’t even know the man!!”

Your father ticks in annoyance before he replies. “Love won’t save you when times get rough”, he says the word as if it’s poisonous. “You’re not thinking properly because you’re young… But one day you’ll see it and stop with these.. fantasies”.

You didn’t bother to fight back when you were introduced to the man you were meant to be married to by the end of the year. His name was Henry, and that’s all you collected before you zoned out for the rest of the afternoon.

You resorted back to your room after your little trip to town, thankfully your father decided to show his gratitude through silence. Once you closed the door to your bedroom, your hands couldn’t but make their way to your abdomen. It wasn’t just you and Billy now, there was a baby too.

Billy gave you his word that he would find a solution, which is why you continued to entertain your father’s ideas of being wedded to Henry. But as the weeks passed and your baby’s presence became more prominent, the facade started to weigh on you.

“Billy let’s just leave”, you muttered one night resting against his chest as the two of you lied on your bed. It was late at night and everyone else was fast asleep, giving Billy the perfect opportunity to check up on you.

“Not yet my sweet”, he says in between kissing your forehead, “I still gotta few things to take care ‘f before our departure”. For you an’ the little one”

You smile at the mention of your unborn baby. You didn’t have confirmation yet, but you were sure it was going to be a girl. A baby girl who would be loved unconditionally by both her mother and her father. And once she grew up, she would have the chance to meld her own path instead of being handed a checklist of expectations at her birth.

The days you were forced to spend with Henry were more annoying than tiresome. You would often retreat to your fantasies during those times, dreaming about your new life with Billy and your baby seemed far more comforting than any riches that Henry could promise you.

“Your father has agreed to allow you to move to my house in the city by the end of the week”, Henry mentions one time as the two of you were settled in the carriage together. “It’ll be good for you to get settled in before we’re married”.

“What?!”, you quaked. That meant you only had a few days left, and last time you has asked him, Billy didn’t have a fully formed plan. Your hand almost flew to your midsection, to use the life being formed inside you as a comfort before you remembered where you were.

You didn’t even go inside your home when the carriage dropped you off, hiding out of sight in the bushes for a few moments before running to Billy’s cabin.

Billy’s heart almost dropped when he saw how fast you were running as he stood up from his spot on the porch. “Sweetheart!! You shouldn’t be running like that in your condition!”

“Billy.. Billy, we have to go now!! Now as in tonight!!”, you exclaim trying to catch your breath.

Billy puts his hands on your shoulders in an attempt to ground you, “Darlin’ what’s goin’ on? What’s the matter?”

“By the end of the week I’ll be gone!! Henry wants me to move into his house in the city, my father has even approved it!” You were hysterical at this point, tears falling before you could wipe them.

Billy was surprisingly calm with your words, well at least on the outside. His insides were overridden with panic, but he chose not to put it on stage. “O-okay calm down honey it’ll be okay”, he started to speak again when he noticed your sobs turning into sniffles, “We’ll leave tomorrow night”.

In turn, a light of hope started to shine onto your face and dried off your tears. In just a mere 24 hours you would get to be with your love forever and no longer entertain anything related to your family’s wishes.

“We’ll meet back here by tomorrow night”, Billy affirmed. “At about a quarter to midnight. A few men are on the lookout f’ me anyway.. so it would be better to get a headstart, and what better way to do that than with my girl on my side?”

You nodded at his words as his hands made his way to your face. Just one night and this nightmare would be over. Billy wouldn’t have to be constantly looking over his shoulder and you wouldn’t be forced to move to the city while carrying the burden of another man’s ring on your finger.

The next day passed you by as quickly as the night before. Henry hadn’t requested to see you that day, assuming that you would be busy with packing your belongings for the big move. And he wasn’t completely wrong since technically yes you were packing, but to run away with Billy not to move to the city with Henry.

Your heart had nearly beaten out of your chest as the sun went down. Eventually when nightfall arrived with the stars washing over the sky, your bags were packed and ready. This was it, and once you reached Billy’s cabin you and the baby inside your stomach would be cared for by his love for the rest of your days.

You crept down the stairs safely, but the creak from the door alerted your father. “Where do you think you’re going”, your father hissed.

The sound of his voice startled you, the confidence you once held started to slowly melt away. If you lied the two of you would be running in circles for hours, it would be easier to just be honest. “Papa.. I’m leaving”.

“Leaving?! Is Henry here to pick you up this late?”

“Not Henry.. it’s Billy”, the words suddenly felt awkward on your tongue. “I’m… We’re leaving town together”.

“You will do no such thing”, your father demands. “Go back to your room, it’s late”.

You were about to retreat when you noticed the time. Only twenty minutes left, and you knew that Billy couldn’t afford to wait since people were already on the lookout for him. “No. I’m sorry papa but I can’t”.

Your father suddenly grabs your hand in a desperate attempt to stop you. “Please.. don’t do this”, his tone is more pleasing than demanding. “I understand you love him and love keeps you warm at night, but as I once said: love won’t provide for you”.

“Papa, stop!! I have to go!!”, you chant out frantically as the clock in front of you ticked closer and closer.

“No!!!”, he bellows, “Don’t be ridiculous—”

“I’m pregnant!! Billy and I are having a baby”, the words spew out before you can stop them. Once realization hits you, a couple of stutters escape from you in an attempt to erase what you just said.

“There’s.. a baby?”, your father questions softly. You expected him to explode, but his eyes were full of reason. “And you’re sure about him?… That boy, Billy, he’s a good man?”

You nod anxiously and it doesn’t take much for your father to realize that he had already lost you. Although he threw all sorts of expectations at you, deep down he did care for his daughter which is why he let you go. It’s the least he could do.

You would finally have it all.

By the time you left the house there was only five minutes left until it would officially be a quarter to midnight. You ran as fast as your legs would take you, despite them aching as one of the side effects of carrying the life inside of you.

“Billy!!”, you shout out as you search his cabin for his presence. It was empty, no sight of the man you loved at all. He had said to meet you here hadn’t he? Your eyes darted to the clock and it read to be midnight. Fifteen minutes after your designated meet time.

“No.. no”, you mumble as you search through his things. You knew Billy had left, he was on the run and couldn’t afford to wait. His belongings being scattered everywhere proved to you that his place had been thrashed by whomever was out looking for him. You were sure it had killed him to leave, for he was a good man and couldn’t bear to be away from you. He once compared your absence to a lack of air, to which you laughed at his dramatic antics. That was all a memory now.

The tears you so desperately tried to hold in finally spilled when you lay down on his bed. The sheets still smelled like him. It was probably an overreaction, but you felt as if the baby inside of you felt Billy’s absence as well as you sobbed and buried your face in one of his few remaining shirts.

Some would say that you had it all now. You got to keep the riches you had grown up with and you even managed to gain your father’s approval, but you had lost your love. You were too late, and the cost you had to pay for that was much more than any price tag.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

See, I think Charles’ annoyance and frustration with the Cat King really was just pure protectiveness and not any kind of jealousy - it’s understandable, because Edwin is not telling him what happened even though something clearly did, which is not typical for them. Edwin doesn’t usually hide things like this! Of course he’s worried!

Charles’ reaction to Monty, on the other hand, is difficult to explain in a way that isn’t jealousy. You could say he’s being protective again, but Charles shows no sign of distrust in Monty, and had no idea of who Monty was or that he might betray them - he was actually very chill with him, except in a select few specific scenes. You could say he just doesn’t like him because he got brushed off during their first meeting, but not only does that not seem like Charles at all, it also doesn’t make sense, since, again, in most instances, Charles is genuinely friendly and is happy when Monty compliments him and seems to have come around to liking him (it completely flies over his head that this is a petty jab at Edwin on Monty’s part but oh well hahaha). You could say it changes up their status quo a bit and that bothers Charles. I do think this bothers him a bit, but I think, unlike Edwin, Charles’ fear and frustration here is directed more at situations (the Cat King whisking him away for several hours, as an example) than others. He’s sociable and likes being able to talk to new people. There’s absolutely no way he’d begrudge Edwin doing the same - and he doesn’t… with Niko. Edwin and Niko hit it off and become very close and that never bothers Charles at all. He’s incredibly endeared to her, just like the rest, and for the most part, he’s chill with Monty too, and smiles pretty knowingly when Edwin confesses to him having awakened some feelings. The only exceptions, where he shows definite annoyance, are when Monty first shows up and gets really in Edwin’s personal space to show him the astrology chart he made, and when Edwin is so sucked into the book Monty gave him that he doesn’t hear that Charles is talking to him, to which he annoyedly says that they seem to have been “spending a lot of time together”.

You could say he’s unused to having anyone get in Edwin’s personal space like that, but, again, Niko. She’s very tactile with him and he doesn’t seem to mind all that much; they spend time together watching things. If it was just someone getting close with Edwin in general, not only would that be weirdly possessive for the character, but it would also mean he would show discomfort with anyone getting close, I think. Does Charles see Monty as more of a potential threat than Niko, seeing as he knows her and her personality and doesn’t know Monty? Well, maybe, but again, Charles shows no sign of distrusting Monty at all.

Monty is a boy. Okay. So something about seeing Edwin so close to a boy that is not him, getting lost in thought over something this boy gave him, really rubs Charles the wrong way. Charles appears to catch on just as quickly as anyone else that there is something (or it looks like something) between Edwin and Monty. He is not surprised when Edwin comes out to him in episode 6, and in fact, seems to have just been waiting for him to verbalize it. He smiles and is not bothered at all by Edwin showing (what he thinks is) a romantic interest in Monty - he just doesn’t like it when Monty clearly shows a romantic interest in Edwin. Um. Well. Well.

Charles is jealous. I really don’t know what else to say.

Look, when I first watched this show, I actually didn’t want them to end up together romantically - I love the idea of one having fallen in love with another who does not reciprocate and the two of them still loving each other just as much. That Edwin’s confession made them closer instead of making things awkward is such a beautiful outcome to this build up and I absolutely love it. However. On my two rewatches, I caught a lot more little details, and I think it would be very strange if the show did not follow up on this. That, plus the deliberate quality of these “jealousy” moments where the camera focuses on him, Charles’ Orpheus coding throughout the show, the fact that Edwin’s arc was far more about realizing his feelings for Charles specifically than just coming to terms with his sexuality, and that even the actors admit that Charles’ response to the confession kind of left things open, it really seems to me like the path leads to a romantic endgame for them, or at the very least, that this possibility will be explored in more depth.

**This is just my reading of it. Please do not use this post as a gotcha for anyone who loves them as a platonic duo or people who really love Crystal and Charles together (because let’s face it, they’re super cute too). I’m just doing my rambles. As per usual.

[holy-puckslibrary]

━ 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐑-𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

˗ˏˋ main masterlist ˎˊ˗

pairing(s) — counselor!JACK HUGHES x counselor!reader word count — 1.4k

note — i was (and still am) super proud of how i executed this concept, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy re-reading it!

recommended viewing — friday the 13th (1980), fear street: 1978 (2021)

bingo squares and additional content warnings below the cut.

bingo squares — sex in water, risky location/exhibitionism, and fear play additional content warnings — a few jokes about death/dying and murder, rather short n tame ("vanilla") barely-there spice from me???, jack being a little shithead (and a little switchy omg), a smidge of angst, and spoopy ending... (kevin heimbach hive rise!)

“Y’know, for someone who is so paranoid about being caught, you sure scream like you aren’t.”

The lake smacks Jack Hughes’ chest just moments before the true expulsion of annoyance. The succinct burst of emotion is pre-packaged into a lame wave. One that only stokes his predisposition for button-pushing—hers being a personal favorite target of his.

“Y'know, for someone so desperate to get laid, you sure do everything to guarantee the only thing you'll be fucking is your hand."

Jack's jaw unhinges as if making ample room for whatever semi-clever perverted retort is bound to manifest, but it slams shut prematurely. His only response is a strained whimper accompanying an audible gulp.

Wide eyes bulging, his gaze never leaves the woody shore at your back.

"J-Jack, I'm serious. Cut it out. Right now."

Your blunt, conduct code-mandated nails slice their way through the sunburnt skin of his shoulders—the much-deserved consequence of brushing off the sunscreen you offered him prior to his afternoon shift at the canoes.

He hisses, mostly out of irritation, but keeps otherwise mum.

Unwittingly, further panic stirs in your gut at that, sending your tense face into his waiting chest.

"I-It's not funny—it never was. And it's absolutely not now, e-either. Please, Jack. Just, just knock it off, o-okay?"

"Or what, babe?"

His husky voice carries across the water and the trees rustle in response.

You loathe the way that innocuous noise shoves you deeper into his embrace, clutching onto his lithe, toned form like he isn't the instigator of your palpable distress.

"Stop pretending you see him, or I'll... I'll... —"

Any threat you could've come up with would've been hollow at best, you both know it. Even if you weren't strung out from a full day of covert teasing and stolen glances, your fear of what might lurk in the shadowy depths between you and the dock would be more than enough to keep you firmly planted.

Jack set himself up with yet another perfectly easy jump-scare, but as you helplessly cling to him like a soggy kitten at the mere implication of danger, he's presented with a better, more delicious opportunity to burrow under your thin skin.

Oh, how he lives to make you squirm.

Soft lips lower to your ear, "Is that really what you want? Because I don't think the lake's the only reason my dick is soaked."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Hughes."

You try and avoid his X-ray vision, but it doesn't matter. It hardly ever does.

"Really? Well, allow me to enlighten you, hm?"

His tone has you rolling your eyes even though he can't see them.

Jack holds you tighter, sharply bucking his hips until you whine, before he whispers, "I think you like when I scare you—or, at least, your pussy does. The poor thing, gushin' and squeezin' whenever you jump for me. Every damn time, babe. I damn near thought you'd squirted last time I got ya that good."

You grumble because he's right. Only about your physical reaction, of course. Definitely not the other things.

You definitely did not enjoy being scared shitless, and you definitely did not squirt when he pretended something—or someone—was pulling him under. You'd be damned if your first time doing that came at the hand of such juvenile flippancy.

"Quit talking and fuck me, Hughes. We don't have all night; Alice still isn't over the nightmares."

Every year, there was always one of those campers, and, this year, Alice was that one. A kid so freaked out by local legend that you have to wonder how their parent or guardian managed to get them up here in the first place. Or, why anyone thought sending them up into the mountains for the summer was a good idea to begin with.

It never takes long for the nightmares to start. Especially once the inaugural midnight bonfire passes and the sightings start making the rounds. Wind-carried screams, a flash of metal, the too-thick drip off of the leaves, torn flesh...

Everything in graphic detail, and every detail insomnia fodder at its peak.

If a camper lucked out, they had a counselor they could attach themselves to in the wee hours of the morning as they shook through waves of fear. Alice weaseled her way into your bunk every night this past week, bottom lip trembling as tears streamed down her face, always rambling about the same thing: a silent killer in a cheap mask wielding long, menacing blade.

Nightly, while you've donned a brave face, it's been as genuine as the plastic allegedly worn by the personified cautionary tale. Because, once upon a time, you had been that camper, too—and Jack had a front-row seat to your adolescent terror.

To this day, he finds your ardent belief in the legend a point of amusement.

He won't be laughing, though, when Alice finds your bunk empty and runs crying to the supervisor cabin, thinking you'd been the latest victim—the first in thirty years.

If you're going down, you're dragging jack hughes down with you. He can explain to your parents why you're home two months early—and unemployed.

His forehead falls to your shoulder, wafts of damp hair tickling the bare skin as he groans. Jack never bothers masking his ire. "That snot-nosed third grader is the last thing I want to think about when I'm balls-deep. Total boner-killer, babe."

"Jason Vorhees is the last thing I want to think about right now, but you never seem to care about that, do you?" you growl.

Your ankles tighten around his waist at just the thought of the camp's very own boogeyman.

If you were smart, you'd stop hooking up with the one person dead-set on sending you to an early grave all for a laugh.

The apparent inevitability of your trysts wasn't for a lack of options. No, every year there was plenty. But every year, Jack Hughes was the only peer you snuck out for.

After that many midnights, you would think his recycled material would lose its edge. Unfortunately for you, that's yet to happen.

You tug on a fistful of hair at the nape of his neck. He nips at your throat in retaliation; you don't have the confidence to tell him you like that, too.

"Fine, fine," he laments, eyes pinched shut and wincing. "Truce?"

"Truce," you nod and relinquish your tight grip. "Now, make me cum."

"Yes, ma'am."

"See? I told you it was fine. No wandering campers, no prying Visors," Jack hums, an arm looped around your shoulders. "And no hockey masks or machetes, either."

Your soft, grudging giggle harmonizes with the cicadas.

When you reach your cabin, he pecks your damp temple. "You should trust me more often."

You knew once you caved to the lake idea, he'd never let it go, but you'd be remiss if you said it didn't turn you on just as much as it did him. That, however, doesn't mean you're eager for an encore any time soon.

Next summer, perhaps. If he played his cards right.

"Yeah, right," you snort while eclipsing the two meager steps with him on your heels.

His ego is beginning to rub you the wrong way as your post-orgasm bliss fades. Still, you can't resist pulling him closer now that no one else is around.

Kiss-swollen lips ghosting over his, you whisper, "Over my dead body."

His eyes go dark; a rare flicker of concern. "Don't say shit like that, babe, you'll jinx it... And i've still got so much planned for your body."

"Well, it's a good thing you've got an entire summer, isn't it?"

"Only because you won't let me touch you outside of Camp Nightwing," jack huffs, mostly under his breath. His jaw is too tight, but his voice is louder, "Just think of what i could do with the other nine months."

He doesn't bother disguising the bitterness weighing on his voice or his conscience, and that alone is enough to make you skittish. It hurts to swallow, and the mounting nausea certainly isn't helping, but it's a necessary evil to rid yourself of the lump clawing up your throat.

Jack Hughes talks a big game, but that's all it'll ever be. A game.

You won't make the same mistake twice.

"Get lost before you wake my campers, Hughes." You wave your hand dismissively as you take a step back—and out of his magnetic field. "We've got a big day tomorrow."

He drops the complaint as easily as he championed it.

"I'm going, I'm going." Jack raises his hands in surrender, laughing as he backs away from the porch. "Wouldn't want to rob the little boogers of their last moments of peace before my reigning Color War champs kick their asses—for the fifth consecutive year."

Your reluctant affection glimmers in the moonlight as you shake your head. "I hate you so much."

"No, you don't!" Jack calls over his towel-clad shoulder.

You're still smiling when the screen door smacks the dilapidated wooden frame.

As his jubilant footsteps fade down the path and you settle in your bunk, a large shadow slips between the moon and the cabin's front window.

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[wonbriiize]

pairing; wonbin x reader

genre; fluff, friends to lovers

warnings; a bit of cursing, mentions of blood + a few other (small) horror related things

note; it‘s a bit long again i‘m sorry ㅠㅠ i think i just have a habit of writing a lot lmao,, anyway thank you guys already for taking the time to read this <3

for you

in which you go to the amusement park with your friends and you decide to go into the haunted house as pairs. although one of your friends (wonbin) is scared of it, he pulls himself together because he doesn’t want you to go with anyone else…

“come on, it’s going to be so much fun. let’s go in pairs of two!” you suggest excitedly.

“then i‘m going to go with sohee,” seunghan puts his arm around his best friend who nods in agreement. shotaro and sungchan look at each other, already declaring that they’re the second pair. “i really don’t want to go with anton,” eunsok rolls his eyes in annoyance. anton laughs, knowing that eunsok is just joking. they love teasing each other. “oh, stop lying, there’s no one else you’d rather go with than me.” “well, if that thought makes you sleep at night..” eunsok can’t help but to smile.

you look over to wonbin who looks like he would rather jump off a cliff then to go inside the haunted house. shit, you had forgotten that he’s afraid of those things.

“wonbin, you probably don’t want to go, right?” sungchan asks him. everybody knows that wonbin is scared of horror related things.

wonbin shakes his head. “not really. i will just wait outside.”

“then who’s going to go with *y/n*?” shotaro looks over to you, feeling sorry since you don’t have a partner.

“i love haunted houses so i don’t mind going twice,” anton says, smiling over to you. “wouldn’t it be too boring for you the second time?” it was a very nice thought of anton but you don’t want him to feel like he’s wasting his time. anton shrugs. “no, it’s fine. i’ll keep myself entertained with laughing at you for being scared.” “this won’t happen, i don’t get scared easily,” you stick your tongue out to anton and he laughs.

throughout your whole conversation with anton, wonbin kept watching the two of you. he isn’t going to let that happen. if anyone should go with you, it should be him. he decides that his love for you is bigger than his fear of haunted houses.

“i changed my mind, i will go with *y/n*,” wonbin announces, stepping forward.

it’s an understatement to say that everyone was shocked. no, everyone was more than just shocked. sungchan almost chokes on the juice he is drinking right now. “park wonbin is this really you?”

wonbin looks confused with everyone’s reactions. “okay, it’s no biggie, you all can stop acting like this.” “i think this isn’t wonbin, he probably got abducted by aliens and this is just a clone or something,” seunghan actually looks terrified. wonbin smacks his head lightly. “oh, get a grip! so are we doing this or not?”

everyone was still pretty shocked, but you guys nod and start walking to the haunted house.

pair after pair, all of you go inside. first it was seunghan and sohee‘s turn. when they walk out of it, seunghan was laughing but sohee seriously looks like he has seen real ghosts inside. it is the same with shotaro and sungchan. sungchan has the biggest smile on his face but shotaro keeps clinging onto him because he is actually afraid.

after eunseok and anton come out, wonbin and you get ready to go inside.

eunsok and anton both don’t look that bothered so it gives you a good feeling that you won’t be that scared either (you have the same horror tolerance as the two of them). wonbin on the other hand is trying to control himself so no one sees how scared he already is.

“you know some of them run after you with fake knives,” eunseok whispers once we walk past them.

“are you serious?” wonbins eyes look like they might fall out.

eunseok doesn’t reply anything, he just winks and leaves wonbin and you alone in front of the haunted house.

you take a look at wonbin and notice how he’s trying his best to look calm, but he’s failing miserably. his expression is exposing that he’s afraid.

when wonbin feels you intertwining your arms together, he instantly feels at ease. you notice that, which makes you smile.

“ready?”

“no, but let’s go,” wonbin takes one last deep breath and you two start walking into the haunted house.

it’s so dark you guys can barely see anything. there’s something hanging down from the roof, it looks like a spiderweb. all of sudden, you feel something on your head and you scream, scaring wonbin as well. he starts screaming with you.

“WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING??”

“THERE IS SOMETHING ON MY HEAD TAKE IT AWAY!!”

you stop screaming when wonbin pulls you closer. he looks over your head. “there is nothing.” “i swear i felt something.”“well whatever it was, it’s gone now,” wonbin steps back but you notice that he’s holding your hand. trying to play it cool, you clear your throat. “okay let’s move on.”

both of you walk, hand in hand, further into the haunted house. sometimes, there’s a few jumpscares which makes you both scream, but so far, there’s nothing too scary in this haunted house. even wonbin is doing fine.

“it’s not that bad actually,” he says. “i know right. it’s kind of fun,” you admit. “why did you change your mind though?”

“what do you mean?”

“why did you decide that you wanted to go into the haunted house too?”

this question catches wonbin offguard. he takes a few minutes to answer. “do you want me to be honest?”

okay, you think, this is getting deep now. you didn’t expect him to be that serious.

“uhm.. yeah?”

wonbin stops walking and turns around to you, still holding your hand.

“it’s ‘cause i didn’t want anyone else to go with you,” he admits, looking straight into your eyes. “it’s either me or no one. i changed my mind to prove to you that this is how much i like you.. i‘m willing to face my fears for you.”

now this catches you offguard.

wonbin has never said something like that ever before to you. sure, you did think that maybe there’s something true about what the guys have said to you.. wonbin likes you, they said. like, when sungchan came up to you a while ago and said that whenever anyone of them mentions your name, wonbin starts having the biggest smile on his face. of course he tries to hide it but he’s very bad at doing so.

another time, shotaro sat down next to you on the couch and whispered that wonbin has a crush on you. of course you thought that he was joking, but shortly after that, wonbin squeezed himself between the two of you. there was literally no space left but wonbin still didn’t care.

so yeah, you have thought about the possibility of him liking you.. you just never thought that it’s actually true.

the second you open your mouth to say something, your eyes wander to what’s standing right behind wonbin; a clown. smeared with blood all over his face. grinning like crazy. walking closer to you and wonbin.

you start screaming. “OH MY GOD.”

“okay well, you don’t need to make it that obvious that you don’t like me in that way,” wonbin looks down, letting go of your hand.

“SHUT UP AND LOOK,” you grab his shoulders, turning him around so he can see the bloody clown that‘s walking towards you two.

wonbin might have let out a scream that was even louder than yours.

“HOLY SHIT,” he turns back around to you.

you grab his hand. “RUN!”

the two of you start running, not looking back. you don’t even know if the clown is still chasing you, but you don’t care. running while holding hands with wonbin might just be your favorite thing in the world now. he‘s much faster than you so it’s hard for you to keep up with him, but he’s not letting you behind, he’s keeping you close.

arriving at the end of the haunted house, you both stop running. a person wearing a ghost costume approaches you, thanking you both for visiting the haunted house.

walking out of it, you guys are still holding hands. you secretly hope that wonbin will never let go. you don’t want him to.

“thank you for doing this,” you say. “for facing your fears.”

wonbin smiles, but he’s avoiding your gaze.

“this just made me like you way more than i did before. and i already liked you a lot.”

now, wonbin looks at you. his eyes are sparkling. he can’t believe what you just said.

“for you, i would do everything.”

he bends down to give you a short kiss, which leaves you wanting more. you want to keep him this close forever.

“but i won’t ever go to a haunted house again,” wonbin says, smirking against your lips before he kisses you again.

[darylscarollolz]

LOST TIME

Carl Grimes x Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings:

Summary: Carls been avoiding his “best friend” for days. It’s time for a confrontation.

Word count: 781

Carl had been avoiding me for days, I could tell. I think everyone could tell. It seemed like one day we were perfectly fine and the next he could barely even look me in the eyes. I racked my brain for anything I could have done to maybe upset him or put him off but nothing could come to mind. And I mean nothing.

Carl and I had been close friends for as long as I can remember. Ever since the beginning of the apocalypse we were close. And as time went on we only got closer. At least; until last week. The two of us had been hanging out watching the sunset, talking. Like usual. There was nothing different about this day than any other day. We talked about everything under the moon, family, friends, love, everything. And the next day, bam, he just started avoiding me. Carl refused to even make eye contact.

That’s how I found myself in the situation I’m in now. Anxiously waiting for Rick to grab Carl for me. It had gotten to the point where I needed to talk to him. For my own sanity.

He was reluctant to come down, It was easy to tell by the time it took Rick to coax him down. when he was, however, standing infront of me his gaze was at our feet.

“Hey..” was all he could muster.

“Hey..” I swallowed hard, trying to think of the best way to bring the topic up without upsetting him (in case I had done anything wrong). “Can we talk for a moment.. just us? It’ll be quick.” Again Carl seemed reluctant but in the end nodded. Following me as I walked to a more secluded area for the two of us to talk.

“What do you wanna talk about?” Carls voice was weak, nervous almost.

“You have no idea?” It was a genuine question on my end. “None at all?”

“I might…”

“Should you start or should I?” His lack of an answer told me that I was going to be the one to have to start. “It feels like you’ve been avoiding me.. for the last few days.” I even gave him a moment to say something, but he didn’t. “And I’m sorry if I upset you somehow, if there was anything I did but-“ I was cut off, partially by surprise of him shaking his head. A soft “no” falling past his lips.

“No?” I questioned, an eye brow raised in confusion

“You didn’t upset me..” his eyes never left the ground beneath him, staring at his boots. “I just…” a sigh slipped past his lips as he forced himself to look up. Our eyes meeting for the first time all week.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you..”

“That doesn’t answer why, though. I don’t know what I did to make you want to avoid me.”

“It’s nothing you did… I just..” there was another deep sigh as he shut his eyes and gathered himself “I’ve been getting scared..”

“Of me?” I almost laughed.

“No not of you… well yes of you.. it’s complicated”

“Well could you try to explain?” I could feel my own annoyance peaking as he was trying to avoid the topic, not as a whole, more trying to avoid the center of the topic

“Look… y/n… I really like you and being your friend is the best thing that’s ever happened to me but..” he paused for a moment, as if formulating his words “recently I’ve realized that maybe that appreciation I have for you is less friendly than I thought..” he stopped again, searching for a reaction. When he didn’t get one, he continued. “I realized I was starting to feel more romantic feelings for you…” the next words came out like it was him just spitting it all out “and I know you don’t feel the same and that kind of scares me but I don’t want to force you into anything because I really do like you and-“

“Carl.” With a firm tone I cut him off. I could see the fear across his eyes as he swallowed. Looking from my eyes down to his feet. “I like you too” he looked almost as if he would double over, his breath catching in his throat

“What…”

“I like you” i repeated, laughing softly at his shocked state

“Say it again.. please”

“Jesus Carl, I like you” I took a step closer, gently taking his hand in mine “I wish you’d just told me instead of avoiding me..”

“Yeah…” he nodded, his eyes trailing from our linked hands up to my eyes “can we make up for the lost time?”

————————————————————————

Yay first fic done! I’m hoping and praying it’s alright. I haven’t written stuff in awhile and I’m always looking to improve. I wanted my first post to be fluffy so here we go :)

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

just a thought, I feel like the song "surface pressure" is a perfect fit for Romeo

Just as Leo at some point felt the weight of everyone on his shoulders and felt useless if he were to fail, Romeo now feels the same burden of being the oldest of all his brothers and cousins even if his parents assure him that is not the case.

For sure he does! He is his father’s son, and that can be curse and a blessing.

Romeo is a skilled fighter, no doubt about it, but I could easily see him getting so caught up in being the perfect kid, that he at one point might accidentally alienate himself from the others.

We have to remember that Romeo’s pressure doesn’t just come from being the oldest - and the oldest som of the leader at that - but also that his birth was this thing that shouldn’t really have happened, but it did, making everybody realize, that it could in fact be possible for them to have children as well. Romeo’s conception was the start of the domino effect, that led to his cousins and siblings (also in real life. He was the first of the children I came up with. With the rest I always had in mind that Romeo was there, so they wouldn’t have to care too much about being the oldest).

Romeo is very much under a lot of pressure, and that is partly why he has so much tension with Marcello at times. Romeo gets a lot of praise from their father - praise which Marcello really wants as well - but I could also imagine that Romeo might be defensive of this praise. If he isn’t told he is the best, then who is he? Is he a failure? Is he not as good as he thought, nor “worthy” of being the oldest.

It’s a stark contrast to how Joan is with her siblings. She can be tough at times, but that is also because her father is tough as nails. She is skilled, but she doesn’t have the same pressure, nor does she feel a need for the same praise. Often times she will stay back and watch what her siblings does, but on the occasions that she steps in and takes leadership of them, she does it for a short time. She doesn’t feel the need to be a boss at all time, though she may come across as bossy at times.

While Romeo trains, Joan might use training as a way to teach her siblings a thing or two. Both Minerva and Ragnar struggles a bit with fear and self esteem, so she takes the time with them. In these times failure is okay, and at times even needed.

Romeo in the other hand doesn’t train his siblings in the same way, mainly because he doesn’t. Could it be because he views his father as the best teacher? Maybe. Is it because he fears that failing his brothers’ training could cost not just his own status as the oldest golden, but could led to them getting seriously hurt? Could be.

We are just now seeing Romeo’s first growing obsession outside of training and his role as the oldest - that unnamed girl broke his kneecap in. And already now we’re seeing to different reasons from Romeo. First time he met her, he was calmer. It was his first patrol. He didn’t know what to expect. Even while he was in pain and shock, he told what had happened and what he saw. Second time however, Romeo has a much stronger reaction to her. Anger, annoyance and a strong need for some form of revenge, leading him to swearing that one day he will get a hold of her and make her pay. A little bit of a strong reaction from Romeo’s side, even for Marcello’s standards.

One would think that hot tempered and easily emotionally bruised Marcello might have such a reaction to that girl, but he doesn’t. He gets mad when he realizes it’s the girl that caused his brother pain, but other than that, he just feels conflicted. He doesn’t like the way Romeo reacts to her, and he doesn’t like the way he himself feels about her. And for the first time, we see Romeo and Marcello almost switch places. While Marcello retreats and stays quiet, which is rare for situations like that, Romeo is openly angry. It was more than just his knee that got damaged that night.

Did I just do a character analysis of my own oc?…

[mashithamel]

When I first heard Rand would be working in a sanitarium in season 2 and he’d have a friend named Errol, I was kind of annoyed. Why would they spend precious time in a location and on a character that aren’t in the books, when there is so much ground to cover and so many characters to introduce?

But they used this setting and this character so economically, and so efficiently, that I have been completely converted. They didn’t waste a moment of screentime for Errol, and in only a few minutes justified his creation as a terrific vehicle for exposition and to introduce so many important concepts.

As soon as Rand walks in the door we’re introduced to the Aiel War (specifically—I means we got Blood Snow last season but it wasn’t put in a lot of context). We get a personal view into how much Cairhein specifically was affected by it (the effects of which are mentioned a couple more times this season), as well as giving it a relative timeframe—Errol is much older than Rand, so it wasn’t just a few years ago.

We are reminded that Rand looks like the Aiel even with shaving his head, reminding us about his adoption and that he’s an outsider. Here in Cairhein, even when people know and like him, the citizens are likely to have a gut reaction of surprise or fear when they first see him, something that may contribute to his difficulties ruling the place down the road. We are reminded that they are considered fierce fighters, and introduce that their women also fight and are considered deadly.

We are introduced to sword forms! We didn’t get Lan training Rand in either season (although it sounds like we will finally get it next season!), so it’s nice to learn he’s been getting at least some introductory training if he’s going to be a blademaster eventually. It’s also very consistent with the books for Rand to take advantage of opportunities to learn whatever and from whoever he can. We’re reminded about Rand’s heron-marked blade (before it does its important thing and melts in episode 8) and make the connection that it is carried by blademasters.

So importantly, we see how kind Rand is. He clearly knows and likes this crazy old man who’s calling for the guards. He speaks to him kindly without a trace of annoyance that they’re having the same conversation they do everyday (anyone who cares for people with dementia can probably understand that is really hard at times!). He puts Errol’s shoes on for him. This isn’t quite washing feet, which Biblically speaking is an act of humbling one’s self, but it’s definitely the sort of thing you wouldn’t expect the Promised One to be doing routinely. Right now it’s his job to do, but he does it with the care and compassion you might have for an elderly family member. He defends and comforts Errol when another employee is cruel. At heart Rand is kind and loving. Killing, ordering executions, sending people into danger where some will definitely die are all things he will need to do as Dragon Reborn, and his struggle with this will inform a large part of his arc over the next few seasons.

We see the inequality of the Cairheinin system (and then more blatently at the dinner party). Unsurprisingly the Cairheinin separate their health care by wealth and power, and it sounds like the poor ones may not even have a garden to walk around in? The Two Rivers doesn’t really have this type of inequality, and some of the first things Rand does in the books as the Dragon Reborn is make the elite start treating the poor and lower classes more fairly.

And of course we get PTSD and mental illness. Both PTSD and fears of going mad are important for Rand later, so this early introduction helps define the stakes for him.

It was such a short scene, and I’m sure there are other details those with more skill could expand on (the horse that Rand sets upright? the color palate?). I just really appreciated how much the writers crammed into an original character to help lay the groundwork not just for this season but for seasons (hopefully) to come.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Hey, if it's okay, then may I please request a Gomez!master (missy) x reader. The reader has been kidnapped by Missy and someone they are working with. The person with missy tells them how when they're done with you that you will fall in love with the first person you see and how you will obey them. (Which they will make sure is missy) the person then knocks you unconscious and when you wake up you see missy, your new "programing" is activated.

anon I'm not gonna lie, I probably had wayy too much fun writing this than I should have, I literally sat down and didn't stop writing until the whole thing was complete. I hope you love it as much as I do <3

Side Effects Include (Missy/Gomez! Master x reader)

Warnings: kidnapping, drugging, the ending can be read as slightly suggestive

"What are you doing? Let go of me!"

You struggled against the restraints of the chair you were tied up in, glaring across the room at a person who you thought was your friend. Well, they were really more like a work friend than anything else, but that was besides the point.

"Sorry, I can't do that." They responded simply, shrugging some.

You rolled your eyes at their response, though your annoyance quickly switched over to fear when you heard another voice begin to talk from behind you.

"Now, now. Try not to get overexcited. I'd hate for you to hurt yourself."

Missy stepped out from behind you, walking around the chair in a slow, predatory fashion.

"You." Of course, you should've known she was the one behind this.

She chuckled at your reaction. "Yes, it's me. Aren't you so thrilled?"

"What am I doing here?" You asked with a slight growl as you fought once more against your restraints.

"None of that, now." Missy wagged her finger at you like you were a cat who was trying to chew on one of her houseplants. "You're here because- well, to be quite frank, I've found myself to be growing infatuated with you."

You narrowed your eyes, trying to figure out just what she meant by that. "You- what?"

She sighed in exasperation at your response. "I have feelings for you, dear. That's why I paid your little 'friend' here to kidnap you." She gestured to the other person who you'd forgotten was still in the room.

"Oh." You grumbled, shooting them a dirty look that they seemed to be pretty unfazed by.

"Come, now. Don't seem so disappointed." Missy said sternly. "There are worse things."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?" You retorted snarkily. Big mistake.

She clenched her jaw, her nostrils flaring in anger. "I've tried to be reasonable here. But it seems as though you're leaving me with no choice." Turning, she spoke to your 'friend'. "Let me know when the procedure is complete."

They nodded in understanding as Missy left the room. As they turned to face away from you, you noticed a fairly large table with a bunch of test tubes and glass vials that you hadn't seen before.

They started mixing something, though what, exactly, you couldn't be sure. You gulped, getting the sense that maybe getting an attitude with such a formidable force like Missy wasn't the best idea.

Your so called friend turned, holding up a strange looking flower, one that you could only assume was from some kind of alien planet. "Do you know what this is?"

"Of course I do. It's obviously a hat," you responded with sarcastically.

They kept on as if you hadn't spoken. "This is a very rare strain of flower that contains the chemical compotents required to cause someone to experience a very intense romantic attraction towards someone else."

Letting out an irritated sigh upon seeing your confusion, they rephrased their previous sentence. "It can be used to create love potions. The strength of said potion depends fully on how much of it is added.

"A few petals would make the subject have a slight crush, whereas the whole thing creates a world for them where nothing matters except for their love. They'll do anything that's told to them by the person to which their affection is based. This-" they gestured to the flower "-is merely here as an example. I've already gotten the materials I need from another similar flower."

You felt the blood in your veins run ice cold as you started to put two and two together. Not only did Missy want you to be hers, but she would do anything she could to ensure that you wouldn't ever try to leave. I mean, she was evil, sure, but surely she wouldn't stoop so low as to do that... right?

"Wait, why can't she just use her powers of hypnotism, if she wants to be with me so bad?" You asked suddenly as they moved to place the flower back on the table.

They picked up a large perfume bottle, and you noticed they now had some kind of surgical mask on their face. "Because the effects of hypnotism have to possibility of wearing off after a certain amount of time, even for someone as powerful as her. This can only be reversed by the corresponding antidote." They made their way over to you and held the bottle up to your face. "Now, stay still."

"No, don't you dare spray me, you son of a bit-" You felt yourself get spritzed in the face before you could even finish your sentence, the aroma of the flower permeating your senses and settling deep in your lungs. Your eyes became droopy, and you barely noticed it when a chloroform covered rag was forced over your nose and mouth to ensure you wouldn't keep struggling while the potion started working.

When you woke up again a little while later, your old 'friend' was gone and Missy had returned. You blinked a few times, trying to shake yourself rid of the effects of the perfume in vain. She kneeled down in front of you, a look of glee clearly visible on the features of her face.

"Hello, dear. How are you feeling?"

"Ugh." You mumbled, not even able to form a full word, let alone a sentence.

As your eyes began to focus, you noticed for the first time just how gorgeous Missy truly was. Her eyes were enthralling, her smile dazzling, and had she always done her hair up in such cute ways?

"Hi, Missy." You eventually slurred out, your voice dripping with adoration. "You're really pretty."

She let out a playful giggle, noticing the lovestruck look on your face and how compliant you seemed, a sure sign that the potion had done its job. "See? I knew you'd love me. Now, let's get you out of those restraints so I can show you just how much I love you."

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

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[acdxzhh]

Darry And Ponyboy In Chapter 1:

“If I had thought about it, I could have called Darry and he would have come by on his way home and picked me up, or Two-Bit Mathews —one of our gang— would have come to get me in his car if I had asked him, but sometimes I just don't use my head. It drives my brother Darry nuts when I do stuff like that, 'cause I'm supposed to be smart; I make good grades and have a high IQ and everything, but I don't use my head.”

"You don't ever think," Darry broke in, "not at home or anywhere when it counts. You must think at school, with all those good grades you bring home, and you've always got your nose in a book, but do you ever use your head for common sense? No sirree, bub.”

Was rereading the book and realized that Pony says/thinks about how he doesn’t use his head and then he gets jumped and then Darry tells him he doesn’t use his head, implying that either:

The main voice in Pony’s mind that criticizes him belongs to Darry bc he thinks either that Darry would say that to him or that he’s already said it to him enough times for him to internalize it to the point of where he’s almost word-for-word accurate compared to when Darry’s chewing him out

OR

That one of the reasons Pony feels so much pressure when it comes to Darry is because he has these shadows or doubts in his mind and yeah they’re there and all, but they don’t take physical form or fully register until Darry goes ahead and voices the thoughts in his mind, making it so much worse for him than if they just stayed as his internal thoughts because now his insecurities and fears are real and they’re more than just him overthinking or overreacting

And Darry’s right, of course; Ponyboy can’t afford to be a greaser who’s got a head not all the way screwed on, but there’s something about knowing that there’s a flaw of his —one that separates him from those who he considers family— and it being thrown in his face right after such a vulnerable moment where he was literally just on the verge of tears, already trying to stay strong and not cry because Darry was there.

It makes it an interesting point in the books, where Pony knows Darry, knows what about himself makes Darry annoyed and can near perfectly envision his reaction, but he’s still an unreliable narrator. It makes it harder to tell what parts are embellishments on his end versus just how Darry is.

Because you can look at the evidence above and take it one way, or you can also notice that Darry didn’t start chewing out Pony until Steve pointed out how he was walking alone. Before that, all he had said was “You’re both nuts.” And then Soda raises an eyebrow at him and he grins.

And there’s so many ways to interpret it:

The frustration with Ponyboy clearly came from a place of worry, but was it also him projecting the anger at himself for not getting there sooner?

Was his annoyance at Pony not taking someone with him a hidden plea for him to please, let him be there, let him help?

Was he originally just worried about Pony’s wellbeing until Steve pointed out his choice to walk alone, and only then did his worry shift to anger, or some other emotion masked by it?

And Darry shoves his hands in his pockets and apologizes after Pony tells him to quit shaking him, which also shows his tendency to hide his true emotions for the sake of putting on a strong face, so his anger at Ponyboy could’ve easily been him scared out of his mind afraid to lose another family member.

But back to Ponyboy’s perspective.

His intelligence, the thing that Darry places so much value on, as well as a trait of Darry’s own that he thinks of nightly, is suddenly used against him again. He brings in B’s? They should be A’s. He brings in A’s? They’d better stay that way. He’s intelligent overall? He doesn’t have an ounce of street smarts, and if he doesn’t want to end up hurt or worse, he’d better wise up.

It’s never enough.

And Ponyboy knows this, he’s internalized it heavily. It’s part of why he thinks Darry hates him so much. And while it might be clear to the audience and the other characters that this is absolutely not true, it’s not too hard to see why he believes it.

[trippygalaxy]

Question: Can I make a request for one of your boys? Because I really want a thing where I like kiss Heavens and/or Shifter and/or Legacy on the cheek or something and how they would react

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH😭😭😭

AOG! Boy Reaction to Crush Kissing Their Cheek

Of course my love!! For those who don't know, these boys are from my au 'Across the Galaxy' that....is but isn't in the making??? Dhdjashfkahj I'll make sure to label who is from what game beside them!

Pairing: Heavens, Shifter x gn! reader (Separate) Warnings: Shifter's -> Self doubt, needles, tending to wounds

Heavens (Ss! Link)

The kiss happened before Heavens had to leave for an Expedition

Heavens, Ila (Zelda), Groose and a few others were the main group that would go off and explore the surface when the Skyloftians began to move down there in hopes of charting as much as they could

Normally these could range from a few weeks to multiple months, depending where they were exploring!

This would often leave you, a long time friend and longer time crush of Heavens, alone in the floating island of your home. Heavens always felt guilty after saying his goodbye, wanting nothing more than to have you join -him- the group but the fear of dragging you into a dangerous and possibly deathly land...well it stopped any thoughts about asking you to join.

You, on the other hand, felt a similar fear for him whenever he left

You knew he can handle himself-- goddesses, He killed a god!! Of course he can handle everything that is thrown at him! But...what if he cant? What if he didn't come back? What if...you never got to hold him like you wanted to? What if you were left alone, your love never to be returned?

This fear, this doubt, bubbled up one day when he had told you about another expedition he -and the group- had planned last minute.

You aren't sure if it was the fear or adrenaline, but the next thing you knew you had a tight grip on Heavens' scarf as you planted a firm kiss to his cheek, whispering a plead to return safe before letting go

Heavens, still hunched over slightly, blinked owlishly at you with lips slightly pursed and cheeks faintly tinted with an adorable hue

He was oddly quiet for moment, and you fear that you had messed up but before an apology can begin to form on your lips a face splitting smile breaks his once shocked demeanors. It was like the sun was being dimmed from his smile, and you're sure this is the happiest you've seen him in...years. Not even a trace of tiredness in his droopy eyes!

Heavens, a 45 year old man, has the expression of a lovesick teenager and he wouldn't have it any other way

Maybe it was the boyish smile, or the way his shaky fingers ghosted over the place you kissed him, or the loud blush that had his ears twitching slightly-- Or maybe...just maybe it was the way he looked at you...Like you were the ones who lifted Skyloft into the sky

You can tell that he makes NO move to compose himself, just staring at you with a knowing but loving look

"Goddesses...Your lips are softer than any silks we could weave.." He whispers, not moving an inch from you. "...May I be so bold to ask for your blessing once more? As to grant my journey with bountiful discoveries, of course~"

Mmm, how could you say no to such an ask?

Shifter (Oot/Mm! Link)

The Kiss happened after patching up Shifter's wounds

Shifter had shown up at your door step wounded and battered once more, giving you no explanation or indication that he would EVER give you one, as per usual

Thankfully(?) this wasn't the first time the ex-hero has done this (and youre sure it wont be the last--) so you were able to patch up the man with ease and minimal mess...but that didn't mean you were happy about it

Shifter could feel every ounce of annoyance as your thread the needle through his ripped flesh. It was like you were sewing your righteous disdain into his tainted skin

But Shifter didn't stop you- he deserved it. He deserved to be treated like a torn stuff animal that was under the care of a disgruntled owner who felt no warm for such a broken thing. He didn't deserve you holy, pure love and affection when all he was a burden, an annoyance, a reason to dread opening the door at the possibility of it being him...

But you didn't dread opening the door, not for him. No, you yearned to open it to him

He would never know that it was never him that you held the disdain for, no, it was always the wounds he harbored and the suffering they dealt to him

Gods...He would never know...Never know the pain and grief you felt every time another scar joins his skin. He would never know the longing you held in your heart, the want to hold his blemished scar littered hands, the need to him the love he was so worthy of holding

He may never know...but it was clear to many others, much to your dismay.

One of these people was Malon, the lovely but very teasing farmer you had grown very close to. She was always the first to (playfully) joke about how obvious tension between you two was, poking your side and demanding to be the first one to know if you finally made a move--

You had promised her you wouldn't -but that promise would soon be broken-

At one point, you're not sure when or why, an argument started. Shifter stayed cold and blunt as always, never seeming to react or care about your concerns for his well being. It infuriated you.

And it only made your blood boil even more when he harshly told you that you shouldn't care about him. That it was useless and wouldn't be of any use to him or yourself. That you were better off forgetting him. That--

He felt the slightly pressure to his side, as if something was pressed into his cheek yet his wooden mask stopped any contact it would of made to his skin. It takes him a moment to realize what had happened...and even then he doesn't believe it.

You pull back from his mask's cheek, cheeks warm with embarrassment as licking your lips nervously. Had you forgotten about the barrier between you two? Yes. But that wasn't the point--

"I don't care what you think I'd be better off with, I...I care about you. And I hate seeing you show up to my step coated in blood. Link...Please I can't-- I can't keep seeing you like this.."

The man was quiet, his brilliant blue eye just barely visible from the shadow the mask casted on his face. Its unmoving, never leaving your face, not even as you shift uncomfortably.

Regret, embarrassment, self directed anger. These were all the things you felt as the silence stretched on, but before you could stammer out an excuse to leave you hear the deep rumbles that made up his voice whisper to you.

"I can't promise you anything-" Your stomach drops "But.." Huh? "I'll get better at dodging...For your sake."

The ex-hero, large and intimidating, shrinks in on himself, looking away like a child after admitting to a crime. This...was a first.

It...It was a start. A uneasy, most likely slow start but a start none the less! You couldn't be more happy.

Taglist: @yourlocaltreesimp @quiteliterallyilliterate @birb-boy-official

[aspoonofsugar]

hi!! i just came across your blog & am loving your bsd meta & analyses so much!!! :)

i was wondering if i could ask, in this post you say this about sskk:

The point is that Akutagawa represents everything Atsushi doesn’t want to accept about himself (the violence, the possibility of being left behind, how pathetic and wrong it is to let one’s worth being decided by others’ praise etc.). At the same time Atsushi is the same for Akutagawa.

…and i assume the same is true for skk (the soukoku curse… but also the very reason they work so well together). my opinion on what Chuuya sees mirrored in Dazai is something you talk about in this post (which is quite possibly my favorite bsd meta i’ve ever read… you put into words so well the ideas that have been circulating in my head for months!!)

…deep down Chuya wants to die…This is why he is so disturbed by Dazai's suicidal tendencies. He sees a dark mirror of himself in the other boy.

Chuuya “hates” Dazai because he sees his struggle staring back at him— the temptation he is constantly having to fight against, Dazai is pursuing. why does Chuuya fight it? because he is always trying to find an anchor for his humanity.

so i was wondering if you have any thoughts on what Dazai sees mirrored in Chuuya that makes him “hate” Chuuya (except they really just hate that part of themselves)

i have so many things from that second post that i’d love to ask you to expand on, but i’ve already made this way too long, sorry!! but lastly, do you believe that underneath the superficial annoyance, & the mirroring that rubs them the wrong way, Dazai and Chuuya really do care for each other? i’m not big into shipping, but i cannot accept that they are not genuinely friends bc while their words say one thing, their actions say another. thanks again for your analyses!! <3

Hi,

Thank you so much for this ask and your kind words! I would say that the answer to your first question is found in the same post you linked:

Dazai's skill is called No Longer Human because he feels inhuman:

"He's already dead," said Chuuya. "Quit shooting his corpse." Dazai was puzzled. His expression was bizarrely childlike- fit for a boy his age, yet unlike any he had shown before. His lips suddenly curled into a gloomy smile. "You're right. When you're right, you're right. That's the most common reaction to have." (...) His expression was back to how it usually was: lifeless and utterly disinterested. "Ha-ha. Normal. Ha-ha-ha." (Fifteen)

Dazai sees himself as wrong and thinks Chuya is far more normal than he is. Sure, he has an incredibly powerful skill, but deep down he is just another kid. This is why the reveal of Chuya's background leaves such an impact on Dazai:

Chuya: Arahabaki is me.

It forces him to look outside himself and to reconsider what it means to be human. The point of Dazai's character is that he thinks he is this impossible to read being, who stands above others. And yet, he is really a normal person. Not only that, but he is also pretty childish. He wants friends and grows attached to the few people who step into his loneliness (Mori, Chuya, Oda, Ango, Akutagawa, the ADA). And yet, he sucks at communicating with them out of fear, which leads to more problems than needed. In synthesis, the story of Dazai in Fifteen is really that of an emo kid, who discovers the jock has more reason than him to be emo.

This is why Chuya grows linked to the idea of humanity in Dazai's mind.

In short, Dazai reminds Chuya of his wish to die/live, while Chuya reminds Dazai of his monstrosity/humanity. Death/life and monster/human are the two themes that are intertwined in Chuya and Dazai's relationship. So, Dazai is both drown and envious of Chuya because Chuya is really a normal person, who is also a born monster. Dazai himself is instead human, but he feels a monster (no longer human) hence why he is lonely. To summarize:

Chuya is repulsed by Dazai because he embodies his own suicidal tendencies.

Dazai is envious of Chuya because he is a monster, who feels like a person more than Dazai.

As for your second question, yes, Chuya and Dazai definately care for each other:

Fifteen is the story of how Dazai and Chuya find a friend, basically. They both can't act their age because they are too different from their peers (too smart and too strong respectively). Still, they behave as kids with each other.

Storm Bringer shows Dazai risking the destruction of the whole city to prove Chuya is human. He is also clearly the person who believes in Chuya's humanity the most.

Dead Apple has Chuya risk his life to save Dazai's and he is clearly worried about Dazai when he is hurt by Lovecraft.

On another note, even if you said you are not into shipping... I really do think the subtext of Chuya and Dazai's relationship is meant to be read as romantic. Or at least as teasing... Two examples:

Dead Apple has Dazai play Snowhite and Chuya play the Prince

Storm Bringer parallels Chuya and Dazai's partnership with Verlaine and Rimbaudt, who have had a pretty famous love story

By this I don't mean they are canon or will be canon, but simply that there is the intended willingness to have people ship them. Anyway, Chuya and Dazai do care about each other, but they would never admit it!

Thank you for the ask!

[kaiarablackfire]

Woe, Quinn be upon ye! Meant this one to be a silly look into the dumb idiot things Quinn finds funny, but I just can't help myself and had to throw a bit of drama in there too. (This one has definate spoilers so... Below the cut you go!)

It was the evening after the Zara incident, when everyone was gathered for food, that Emmrich finally had a chance to ask about something he had noticed. “Rook, the other day, the compound you applied to your blades was not the normal one, yes?”

Quinn’s head tilted at the question in confusion. Emmrich had never shown interest in their poisons before. They had assumed he found it distasteful or something, but Quinn was more than happy to talk about their special interest. “Yeah! It’s better to specalize when I’m certain about what we’ll be facing before heading into a fight. For Venatori it's important to target the blood, destabilize their casting.”

Emmrich nodded along, brow furrowed slightly. “I couldn’t help but notice that it was personally labeled… Did you make that one yourself?”

A few of the others turned their attention to the conversation at that point, either in mild interest or concern. Lucanis glanced around the group, clocking the reactions, before settling his gaze on Emmrich, mildly concerned at where exactly this line of questioning was headed.

Quinn beamed, glad that someone besides the other Crow of the group had taken notice of their handiwork. “I did! I make all of the poisons I use personally. Alchemy’s fun, and I know exactly what to expect from something I’ve made myself.” (It’s at that comment, and the joy and pride with which it’s made, that the group finally realized just why Lucanis never allowed Quinn anywhere near meal prep. Not that they would ever harm their friends. But... better to be safe.)

Emmrich would have more questions on that revelation later, but for now, he had a point to get to. “So… you name them too? Or was the name on that label some form of code?”

Before Quinn could answer, Lucanis groaned, head dipping into his hand as if a headache was starting. “Mierda.”

The wicked grin quickly growing on Quinn’s face confirmed his fear… and unnerved most of the rest of the group. The mischievous tone they used as they turned to Emmrich did not help anything. “As the substances are a personal creation, and proprietary to my House, I do name them myself in the manner I was taught. Though I am quite proud of ‘Blood Type P’ as a name.”

Lucanis’ long suffering sigh was apperantly not warning enough as Emmrich hesitantly continued. “Why ‘P’?”

Quinn’s grin grew, not having had a chance to share this particular bit of ‘genius’ with anyone yet. “The P stands for poison. Make for a great punchline. Gets the point across quite well.” They can’t continue as they descend into a giggling fit at their own jokes.

It was Lucanis’ pained “Rook…” that stopped their laughter, the grin turning to a pout as they glowered at him with crossed arms. “Vi would have found it funny.” It was Davrin that saved the group by quickly butting in with something else, anything else, to change the topic.

As the conversation shifted, Quinn found themself tuning the others out, lost in fond memories of coming up with stupid names with their brother. They always felt so proud when something they came up with earned a smirk and chuckle from Viago. And the names he’d come up with… no one else might agree, but Quinn thought their brother was hilarious.

They were pulled from their thoughts at the sound of a chair scraping closer to them. As they blinked the memories away, looking up to meet Bellara’s apologetic gaze, the warm smile slid into place easily. Quinn waved away the apology before Bel could voice it. “I really spaced out there, didn’t I?” Quinn noticed with an annoyance that they didn’t not show that they hadn't clocked the others wandering off, a dangerous level of inattentivness that they'd never have allowed before this. Something about this group really had them slipping. Not that they could focus on that thought as Bel was doing that thing where she clearly had a question and danced around actually asking it.

At Quinn’s encouraging grin, she finally gets to it. “Um… I was just wondering… Your… uh… poisons…” The word was whispered in a way that Quinn found adorable. “Um… What other names do you have?” Once again Quinn is beaming, the grin shifting to a smile that matched their joy as the two ended up joking and giggling over the Crow’s stupid names for the next while.

And as Quinn opened up to Bellara, the bond between the two strengthened, like a thread linking their heart to the elf. A vulnerability. Another potential lock for a Wolf to add to the cage he prepared to ground the Crow that he may run free once more.

[heinzpilsner]

Okay, another part of 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' series here! And I want to assure you that even though it looks deceptively like 'Roasting beach Mai' series to the unaided eye, it's actually not the case. The differences are here. Somewhere. Probably.

I roast Zuko too.

Anyway, in the last part, Mai said 'hey', and Zuko said 'are you cold', and Mai slapped Zuko's hand off, so I guess this leaves their relationship status in the border area.

So, what's next?

Well, despite the fact that their interactions keep going quite actively after this, we're not gonna see any real relationship progression for quite some time.

So, I suggest to take this as another opportunity to yell at study the characters instead.

And it opens with the roasting of Ty Lee.

(The structure of the beach polylogue makes it quite difficult to build a laconic presentation of the context, so... Let's just rely on our memory this time, shall we?)

Zuko: "You're stuck in your little 'Ty Lee world' where everything's great all the time." Mai: "Zuko, leave her alone."

You know, this moment almost made me suspect that Mai cares about the other girl! It would actually make my "she can't care about anyone but herself" hypothesis wrong, which would leave only one explanation for the "bring me food" moment (That is, Mai just didn't care about Zuko in particular.)

But then, after Ty Lee got emotional and cried, and there was no defender for her among their group, Mai decided it was a good time to criticize her as well.

She had a choice between expressing her annoyance (and intelligence) and sparing Ty Lee's feelings, and she prefered the former. Emotional support of her upset friend wasn't even among the options, apparently.

So, I suspect, the "defense" of Ty Lee was hardly more than another instance of scolding Zuko for being angry.

Apparently, Mai just gets disturbed (and hence annoyed) by any display of vivid negative emotions in her close circle. And if there is one thing in life she truly cares about, it's her own emotional comfort.

Simply put, Mai needs fun and pleasure, and all this dramatic shit around only sucks her energy out.

Smart choice of a boyfriend, by the way.

Pffft.

("But she said she cares about Zuko in the end!", I can hear someone protesting. Don't worry, we'll get to it.)

Mai: "I don't believe in auras." Zuko: "Yeah, you do not believe in anything."

That's a curious accusation here.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were times in the past when Zuko tried to talk about something important for him with Mai but recieved a cynical reaction.

But there's no proof for this, obviously.

Besides, as we soon learn, Zuko is not that good at identifying true sources of his frustrations.

It's still my headcanon though.

Mai: "Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you."

But... What believing or not believing in things has to do with being high-strung?  This answer just sounds so unnatural in the context. As if Mai responds not to Zuko's words, but to writer's plan her own thoughts here.

(Quite a typical behavior for an egocentric though, when I think about it.)

Still, why would Mai want to change such a convinient topic? Cynical people who proud themselves on their intelligence love talking about how stupid it is to believe in things. It's basically that Mai 'auras' answer was about. And then suddenly this awkward shift.

It's a shame, actually. To me, it would be much more interesting to hear about Mai's beliefs than to focus on imaginary "not expressing your feelings" problem.

Also, I love how Mai just casually called Azula crazy. So much fear here, if you catch my meaning.

Zuko: "I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once instead of keeping all your feeling bottled up inside."

When. When Mai ever kept her feeling bottled up inside? When she's bored - she says so repeatedly. When she doesn't like something - she criticizes it right away or glares at you fiercely. When you make a scene at the party - she yells at you "for once" (even though she was bored and you put quite an exciting show here, which makes her reaction kinda contr-intuitive. How interesting of an interlocutor Ruon-Jian was, anyway?)

The fact that you can't find among the feelings she expresses something you looking for, or don't find their expression intense enough is a different question entirely.

The fact that she avoids discussing problems you want to discuss too.

For some reason, you just keep barking up the wrong tree here, Zuko. I wonder if you ever heard about different nervous activity types. Or different life views. Or different anything, really.

But this is not the main problem here, obviously.

Zuko: "She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?"

Yep, Mai's self-worth is not affected as heavily by other people's opinions as yours, Zuko. What a terrible tragedy.

Mai: "What do you want from me?"

A really good question. What do you want from Mai now, Zuko? A magical transformation into Katara a person you wish her to be? Or an explanatory note for thinking and reacting not exactly like you'd prefer?

Surprise, she doesn't owe you anything! Your frustration with Mai's personality is your own problem, and you'd better start asking yourself what you really can do about it.

Take your love life in your own hands, boy, and I didn't mean it like that, you perverts or stop terrorizing your not-quite-ex-girlfriend for not meeting your emotional needs.

(You still didn't apologize to Ty Lee, by the way. Kinda ooc of you.)

Mai: "You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well, it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted..."

Well, this part is definitely truth.

Mai: "...as long as I behaved and sat still, and didn't speak unless spoken to. My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about."

Ahhh, this part though is much more tricky.

You see, for all we know, Mai's mother could just try and prevent Mai from throwing kitchen knives at her father's important guests or from saying that their make-up is abomination. Poor little Mai though would remember it as a terrible oppresion of her self-expression for the rest of her life.

More importantly though... Even if what Mai says here objectively took place in the past, I highly doubt what it's a good explanation for her demeanor.

I mean, Toph has quite a similar background, and... Did you see Toph?

Honestly, it looks to me more like a natural temperament kind of thing. It's just the way Mai is. Maybe environment affected her to a certain degree, but I don't think its influence was crucial.

Sometimes her emotions are more intense, especially during fights, but it doesn't mean she hides some kind of oppressed passionate girl underneath her languid mask or something.

So stop trying to dig her out, Zuko, it's getting embarrassing.

Azula: "You have a controlling mother who had certain expectations, and if you strayed from them, you were shut down. That's why you're afraid to care about anything, and why you can't express yourself". Kinda cheated with this one, didn't I

Okay... first of all.

Why. Just why on earth everyone keeps saying Mai doesn't express herself? Are you blind, people? Or maybe you're deaf?  The Mai I know is one big walking talking act of self-expression!

The real problem here is that apart from her annoyance, boredom and hunger she doesn't have much to express in the first place. Because in reality, she's no more than a hedonistic self-centred brat whose lack of proper occupations and interests in life left her on the verge of depression.

And sorry, local beach ghost of an amateur psychoanalytic who's currently possessing Azula, but most likely Mai's mother's "tyranny" has nothing to do with it. Breaking news: not everything in human psychology can be explained by mommy or daddy issues.

I'd assume here much more prosaic explanation. That is, during the last decade, Mai was mostly focused on her school life, while in her free time, knife throwing and passive entertainments were her only hobbies. So, when the school ended and nothing else started, she suddenly found herself in a vacuum she didn't know what to fill with.

And since Mai is a spoiled infantile, she's always waiting for something to happen, or for someone to give her something to do instead of asking herself that she can do to change the situation fundamentally.

And apparently, being in "love" with Zuko is her only real entertainment nowadays. That's why she hey-ed him so soon after the break-up - Mai's life's emptiness reached the 'uncomfortably painful' stage at this point, so even the emotional discomfort caused by Zuko's behavior was more preferable than this.

And I don't know much about Mai being "afraid to care about anything", but I can say a couple of things about her being incapable of caring about anyone.

Growing up as a rich only child, Mai became used to the idea that everything around is about her. She's always focused on herself and her own needs, and subconsciously expects the same attention from other people (from her romantic partner especially).

It rarely occurs to her that people around may have their own interests, and "listening to Mai's complaints and entertaining her" are not among them. When the reality reminds Mai about the fact though, she just gets annoyed by such a nuisance.

I start to suspect now that her "are you cold" question in "The Awakening" was actually not about Zuko's comfort, but about Mai playing her unusual new role of a caring girlfriend. So, when her performance didn't get the expected appreciation, she immediately got frustrated - kind of like Zuko with his seashell, actually.

(Except that Zuko after this thought about something Mai really would want and went to get some ice cream. While the boy is not exactly a paragon of personal maturity himself, on his girlfriend's background, he honestly starts to look like one.)

Even after Mai's "I care about you" declaration, when she really tried to support Zuko in "Nightmares and Daydreams", it sounded like "I might be hungry for a whole tray of fruit tarts". It would be funny if it wasn't so sad, really. She had a vague idea that she's supposed to do something when her partner is upset, but even with it, she couldn't really break the egocentrical shell around her mind and see the difference between her own desires and desires of other person.

Pheeew. I finished.

Of course, all this doesn't make Mai a monster or something. The girl is only 16, and even if she wasn't, the way her personality was formed is a result of many objective circumstances.

If we look at the situation the way Mai's psychologist could, there's no point in blaming or shaming the girl - only to help her realize the problems with her attitudes and offer alternative ways of thinking.

But I am not Mai's psychologist. And I am pissed by how the episode ignores the real problem with the character and helps to promote the old pseudo-psychological myth that just blaming your parents is enough to "understand yourself".

My dear beach ghost, Mai is already a person with infantile way of thinking! She doesn't need an extra encouragement for accusing someone else in her problems.

It's not you who have to deal with her after this, you know.

Spare poor Zuko, the boy has a lot on his plate as it is.

Annnd I guess it's as good a place to stop as any other. We'll start the next part of 'Overanalyzing beach Maiko' right from Mai's... peculiar reaction to Azula's words. Yay.

Thanks for your attention?..

Fortunately I ignore all notifications.

[chickensoup-4-mysoul]

herculean (drrr x f!reader) - chapter 22

Chapter 22 - Kettle Catching Pot

synopsis: you're anything but happy with izaya about the stunt he just pulled, but he's more than happy to tell you about more of his research.

word count: 2,128

warnings: description of murder

"i'm only human, i make mistakes i'm only human, that's all it takes to put the blame on me don't put the blame on me,, human - rag'n'bone man

He’s not expecting your appearance. He can try to cover up that fact, but the minuscule widening of his eyes is the only tell that you need. “(Y/N)! Fancy seeing you here! Come to rescue me from that vicious bea--.”

“Save it.” The words are curt, but your voice carries less contempt than you intend. All that comes through is pure breathlessness; astonishment. Izaya’s eyebrows knit in fake concern.

“Why, is something wrong?” His voice was level, the same way it always was when he spoke to you. Calm and collected, like nothing that just occurred mattered.

“What’s wrong is that you’re a creep!” So many words flit through your conscious, you’re not sure that the right one came out--but you stick with it because it's true. He is a creep; a creep who no one trusts, a creep that hurt Anri, a creep that tried to get someone killed. A part of you cowers in fear of his reaction. The two of you are alone. All it would take was upsetting him, and he could do whatever he wanted to you.

But instead of the piercing glare and venomous scowl that you’re expecting, you’re only granted a close-lipped smile; stretching across his face in a Cheshire-like manner. “Is that so? And what makes me such a creep?” He was unmoved, staring you down as if eagerly awaiting your next move. The regard for his reaction is dissipating by the second, replaced by pure irritation, anger even.

“L-like you don’t know…”

“No, please enlighten me! Here I thought I was doing right by you, pulling so many strings to get your request fulfilled--but if I’ve done something to upset you, I’m all ears.”

He’s stepping towards you now, arms open in some sort of grandiose gesture. You move backward to maintain a distance, strongly disliking the disparity between his eyes and smile. “Well, you know what? Forget about the request--forget about the whole thing! It’s not worth fraternizing with the likes of you…”

“And what are the likes of me?”

His advancing doesn’t stop, and it takes you a moment to realize that he’s taunting you, relishing in each moment you recoil in fear. Well, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. You hold your ground as he comes closer, even stepping forward. To your annoyance, he only seems more pleased with this.

“Manipulative jerks who jeopardize the lives of others for their own gain. Sorry men who have nothing better to do than to mess with innocent people. Someone could have died today, because of you, do you understand that? You’re no better than a murderer .”

Something flashes in his eyes, something dangerous. It sends a flash of panic through you and you’re suddenly aware of your proximity to him. You stand face to face with him now, the closest to him you had ever been. You take in his toothy grin, eyes fixed on his lips as they slowly part. He savors the words, tasting them, before tossing them into the air.

“You’re one to talk about murderers.”

The facade is broken. Your brain reels too much to take in the vision, but the dancing of that poisonous voice against your ears is enough to stir you up. Stumbling backwards, you struggle to digest his words. What?

“What?”

“Tell me, (Y/N). That case file I gave you--did you notice anything odd?” 

“W-why are you bringing that up now? If you think you’re going to pull me into one of your games, you’re sorely mistaken--!”

“But you see, I haven’t pulled you into anything. You’ve walked into it yourself!” He reaches into his coat and you tense all over. Was this the end for you? Killed in a secluded alley while everyone else was distracted? You wonder what instrument he planned to murder you with; rope, a knife, a gun…

A manila folder. He holds it high above his head before tossing it on the floor in front of you. You only stare at it, hesitant to reach for it. Noting your distrust, Izaya raises his arms, nodding for you to take it. Swiftly crouching down, you pinch it between your fingers and quickly regain your guard. Eyeing him suspiciously, you slowly open the folder.

“....It’s just the same case file.” Were you disappointed?

“See anything different about it?” The man prods. He talks to you like you’re a child in need of coaxing. Wrinkling your nose, you flip through the pages. As far as you could tell, nothing was different. All of the pages were there, you could read everything…

You could read everything.

“Nothing’s blacked out…” you think out loud, momentarily losing your prideful attempt to resist his mind games. The numerous lines that you were unable to read before were now there, clear as day. “So you gave me a tampered copy. Ha-ha, silly me. Is that all?”

“Now may not be the best time, but I would like to say thank you.” Your eyebrow raises.

“Thank you?”

“For your stunning insight on this case. I must say, I’m impressed. Even I was a bit stumped, but, after our last consultation, I experienced a bit of a breakthrough. The order of the killings, the missing lock of hair, the Baseball Card Killer? You’re brilliant!”

A day before, you would have been foolishly prideful to hear those words. A naive itching within you to impress the enigmatic man that no one else could get through to. But now? The words fell flat with no effect. No, he was just trying to butter you up.

“Flattery’s not going to work. Literally, all of that was written in the case file.”

“Ah, but it wasn’t!” There’s an exhilaration in his voice that deeply unsettles you. Why on earth was he enjoying this so much?  You flip through the folder searching for the page that you knew the most. When you find it, your eyes quickly scan over the words

Leanne Clarence was found in the pool. Cause of death was confirmed to be drowning. The autopsy also revealed that locks of hair missing from the victim’s head.

“...locks of hair were missing from the victim’s head--see, it’s written right there.” You don’t even know why you’re sitting here talking to him. You could leave if you wanted to--and you do want to, so what’s the problem?

Izaya reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a folded sheet of paper. Unfolding it, he holds it up to you, close enough for you to make out the writing--or lack thereof. It was a copy of the same page you had turned to, except that some lines had been crossed out--like the copy you had first gotten. “Except you hadn’t seen that before, had you?” He points his finger to the exact line you were referencing and, to your perplexity, you notice how half of it was blacked out.

Leanne Clarence was found in the pool. Cause of death was confirmed to be drowning. The autopsy also revealed ______________________________________.

Your brain stops running for a moment, thrown off by the revelation. “W-well, I made an inference, so what! I probably saw how pretty her hair was in the picture and had the theory...what does this have to do with--?”

“Show me those pictures, if you’d please.” Scoffing at the interruption, you flip to the next page. Maybe if you just played along for a bit, he’d let you go. Glancing over the three girl’s pictures, you point out Leanne’s picture, deadpan staring at the man.

“See? Pretty blonde hair.” Izaya leans closer to the page, presumably to get a closer look. He appears to be in deep thought, humming inquisitively with a creased brow. You huff impatiently--what on earth was there to contemplate? 

“How’d you know that was Leanne?” Your heart rate spikes through the roof as his face splits into a smirk once again.

“Stop messing around! The pictures are labeled, her name’s right--” You turn the page towards you again, ready to point out the name to him. However, when you plant your finger on the page, all you hit is blank white. 

There were no words anywhere on the page.

You blink slowly, as if in the brief moment that your eyes close, the print would appear. No, that didn’t make sense. You could’ve sworn the pictures were labeled. Maybe it had been somewhere else in the file--a description of each girl, a brief detail that let on to their identities. You continue to look through the folder, ignoring Izaya’s obviously growing amusement. Suddenly, the folder is swiped from your grasp. “H-hey!” You shout indignantly, seething at the man who now dangled the folder between his fingers.

“One more thing, (Y/N), and I promise I’ll set you free.” You scoff, crossing your arms. Taking that as compliance, he goes through the folder himself. The pace at which he flips each page is infuriatingly slow. Finally, he stops, planting a finger on a page before glancing up at you. “You said this to comfort yourself and you weren’t even thinking...but I found it quite fascinating. About the brutality of the stabbing. Do you remember?”

“It’s not exactly in the forewings of my memory at the moment.”

“Well, let me remind you!” His voice rises with glee, his eyes pinning you in a way that makes your blood curdle. He pulls something from his pocket--a simple cellphone. You raise a brow, silently questioning him. He gives no answer, simply pressing a button.

“..not brutal enough to get blood all over the crime scene.”

Wait...was that…?

“Hmmm, but perhaps the killer was able to book it after stabbing his last victim—that would be an easy avoidance for the mess.”

No way.

“It wasn’t his last victim though….Sorry—I just mean…he, er, strangled the last girl without getting blood on her, right? So the stabbing couldn’t have been that bloody.” 

“You recorded our conversations!?”

“I record all of my conversations--it’s kinda part of the job.” You could slug him across his nasty, smirking face--but you were more frustrated with yourself. How could you not have thought about that? How foolish you were...but it shouldn’t matter because you never said anything bad in the first place! You open your mouth to say so, but Izaya cuts you off, reading from the page in front of him.

“There has not been a confirmation regarding the sequence of the victims’ murders, investigators have reached a relative consensus that the culprit drowned Clarence in the pool, then stabbed Harker to death in the kitchen after strangling Hall next to the pool.”

stabbed Harker to death in the kitchen after strangling Hall next to the pool.

“Looks like you and these investigators are having a little disagreement...I wonder which one of you is correct!”

“It wasn’t his last victim though ...he, er, strangled the last girl without getting blood on her, right?”

So many thoughts were swirling through your head and you could feel yourself getting dizzy. Your lips scrambled for words, but no rebuttal came to mind--because what exactly was he insinuating? A murder that happened four years ago? You were a teenager, probably in school. Just because you had some random theories...doesn’t mean that you…

“You knew about Leanne’s missing hair, you knew the victim’s names and faces, you knew the order of the killings. Independently, these things could be a coincidence, but all together?”

This is crazy.

“It seemed outlandish at first...but I actually dug up so much crucial information, thanks to your request!”

You didn’t.

“The middle school certificate from the same city where the murder occurred, the school photo from the same high school that the three victims attended, the same name as the fourth victim that is still missing to this day…”

You couldnt have.

"It all checks out--the culprit drowned Leanne Clarence, ripping her hair out in the process. They then proceeded to stab Katherine Harker to death, before finally strangling poor, poor Renee Hall...but it wasn't the family's housekeeper, no. Nor was it Matthew Hall, Renee's drug-addict uncle. It wasn't even the infamous Baseball Card Killer..."

You didn't do it.

“Thats right--the culprit of the Three of a Kind Murder Case, the savage brute who took the lives of Renee Hall, Katherine Harker, and Leanne Clarence, is none other than you...(Y/N) Brigall!”

You didn’t do it. You didn’t. You didn’t. You didn’t you didn’t you didn’tyoudidntyoudidn’tyou didn’tyoudidn’tyoudidn’tyoudidn’ty oudidn’tyoudidn’tyoudidn’tyoudidn’tyoudidn’tyoudidn’t

The mantra flashes in your head over and over again like error windows on a computer screen. The words ring loud and earnestly, begging to be heard--begging to distract you from that lone, powerful voice beneath it all. The one that was getting through to you the most, no matter how much you resisted it.

You couldn’t resist it.

It was you.