#well. a decent one. people don't Hate my writing at least

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

i. do not want to go back to uni in a few weeks

[bangtan-junkie]

Dissonance (Part 2) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)

Part 1, Part 2

Genre/Tags: coworker!JK, enemies to lovers, smutttttt, slow burn (ish?), ANGST

Word Count: 6799 words

Synopsis:

After being left alone and humiliated on the floor of a dirty bar bathroom by Jungkook, you had to pick yourself up off the ground (literally). You had to get even, embarrass him like he'd done to you. Maybe you were mean to him before, but you were about to become a nightmare to humble this man. Unfortunately for you, your anger was short sighted, while Jungkook's wasn't. So you never predicted how your plans might backfire on you...

Note:

it's finally fucking here omg. ik it's super late but i'm finally decently satisfied with this. i'm looking forward to writing part 3 bc that's where the tension finally breaks and y'all aren't even ready for the revenge y/n gets lol. i hope y'all enjoy this and it lives up to part 1! i'd love to know your thoughts, if you're still pissed with jk lol, and any suggestions or requests are always welcome! chatting with you guys is my fav part <3

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Dread consumed your senses from the moment you woke up. The weekend had passed, but your chest still burned with rage at the thought of having to see Jungkook again. You hadn't even noticed the time go by over the last two days, too busy seething in your own anger. If you hated Jungkook before, you loathed him now. You forced composure as you got dressed for work. Jungkook already had the upper hand when he'd left you in the bar bathroom. He knew that you'd seen him with the girl afterwards too. You couldn't even think about whether he'd went home with her that night without being sick. After all that, the last thing you wanted was for him to think he had any kind of effect on you. You were going to go back to work with pride and confidence. At least you wanted to.

When you finally got to work, you made a beeline for your desk, pointedly not looking for Jungkook. As you settled in, one of your coworkers stopped by your desk.

"Oh hey Y/n, you feeling any better?" he asked. Your head whipped up, a gentle voice ripping you away from your resentful thoughts. You looked up at him in confusion, eyes settling on his red hair. "From Friday? You left early because you weren't feeling well?"

"Oh, right," you cleared your throat. Just then, you saw Jungkook's unmistakable figure from the corner of your eye. He was talking to someone but you could feel his eyes boring into you. Your blood began to boil but you forced yourself to stay calm. You refused to indulge him at all. "I'm feeling much better actually, thanks Jimin," you replied, shooting your coworker a sweet smile. Jimin was your acquaintance in the office; someone you could actually stand in that place. He was always kind and helpful which automatically made him better than 70% of the people there. Even though you hung out in the same circles, you never really became close friends. Probably because you were always more focused on how annoying Jungkook was whenever you were out. And you were doing it again. You made conversation to force any thoughts of him out of your mind.

"How does your hair seem more red every time I see you?" you asked with a light-hearted laugh.

"I can't be caught slacking. I put in a lot of work to keep this hair ya know," he smiled back at you.

"I still don't know how you got permission from the boss for that," you gestured to his hair. "I asked before and she shut me down so fast." Jimin laughed at the annoyed expression on your face, finding it endearing.

"I guess I'm just that charming," he shrugged, holding back a chuckle. You couldn't help but snicker. Jimin's jokes weren't that different from Jungkook's, but he wasn't obnoxious about it. Jungkook obviously believed his jokes and thought he was god's gift to the world, which made him insufferable. Jimin, on the other hand, didn't take his jokes too seriously and wasn't constantly flirting with anything that moved.

Jungkook, who was barely listening to the person talking to him, had heard your exchange with Jimin. He felt annoyance build in his chest. He knew that if he'd made the same joke, you would've been rolling your eyes and making fun of him. So why were you giggling when Jimin said it? He tried to distract himself by trying to focus on the conversation he was supposed to be having.

A quick chat with Jimin later, you turned back to your desk. You made the mistake of looking up and caught Jungkook's gaze. He looked at you, an indifferent look on his face. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; maybe you'd look away in embarrassment, maybe you'd glare at him angrily. But what he didn't expect was the cold, empty look you gave him - like you were looking right through him, like he wasn't even there. His brows furrowed for a quick second, even more annoyed now. You went right back to work.

That's how the next few days went by. Every time Jungkook was remotely in your vicinity, you'd look through him without ever acknowledging him. If he even tried to walk your way, you left the room immediately. At first, Jungkook thought you were just being childish. But when you regained your confidence after a few days, he knew that you weren't through with him just yet. If he thought your insults were bad before, the newfound loathing you had for him made things ten times worse. It started with you amplifying the spite in your voice when you insulted him for his work. You refused to speak with him directly either, so all the insults were being thrown indirectly and in front of your other coworkers. With every second this continued, Jungkook felt his patience running thin. But if you were stubborn, so was he. He kept up your little game by firing back with his usual sarcastic or flirty remarks. Internally, he was burning with fury, just like you wanted him to.

All the animosity and anger eventually came to its boiling point when you crossed the line for the last time. You had walked to your desk that morning to find that your boss had paired you and Jungkook on the next project. Your skin crawled at the idea of having to work with him over the next few weeks. Part of you wondered if Jungkook had something to do with this. Thinking about him getting your boss on board with making you his partner for this big project was only adding to the fire that was spreading through your body. You already hated the way your boss melted around him, but to think that he could manipulate her to this level? After spiraling for a few minutes, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. You had to remind yourself that you were jumping to conclusions and then convince yourself not to march over to Jungkook's desk and give him a piece of your mind. You tried to get back to work, but all you could think about were what reasonable excuses you could make to get out of this situation. The rest of your morning was spent racking your mind. With no luck, you decided to join your coworkers for lunch; hoping that it would give you a distraction.

Unluckily for you, Jungkook walked into the staff lunchroom soon after, only to find you and some of your other coworkers chatting around the coffee machine. Well, they were chatting and you were busy glaring him down from the second he stepped into the room. Your dark eyes peered at him over the rim of your mug as you sipped your coffee. You knew that there was no way in hell he was going to approach you to talk about this. The solution to your problem practically fell into your lap when you zoned back in to the conversation around you. If he really did get the boss to put you on the project with him, you'd make him regret that decision.

"I can't believe you got that huge project Y/n! You're so lucky," one of them said, playfully pouting.

"Talk about lucky," someone else chimed in, "You even get to work with Jungkook. But I guess that isn't so lucky for you." They laughed lightly, poking fun at you. Clearly they hadn't noticed that Jungkook was in the room, listening.

"Everyone here knows how much you hate him, even the boss. Really, what was she thinking pairing you guys up?" They continued to laugh at your misery. But you weren't annoyed. Instead, your mind lit up with the perfect way to get under Jungkook's skin in that moment. The second he saw the way your eyes lit up, he knew he was in for it. Jungkook prided himself on the fact that everyone liked him and thought highly of him. So what better way to get your revenge and get him to kick you off the project than to take that away from him?

"Yeah," you said skeptically, "She's never paired us up before." You continued to stare directly at Jungkook. Your coworkers looked at you with confusion and amusement.

"What changed this time?" Jimin's voice rang through the room as he walked in to join you. He'd already spotted Jungkook in the other corner of the room, and he saw the dark glint in your eyes. It was clear to him that you were up to something. So he helped you out by stirring the pot a little. Jungkook squinted his eyes at you, annoyed at seeing Jimin again and wondering where you were going with this.

"I think Jungkook really wanted this project," you answered. "And it's easy to get whatever you want when you're fucking the boss," you said, not breaking eye contact for a second. Gasps erupted across the circle as they all looked at you in disbelief. Jimin's brows raised and he scoffed, slightly taken aback that you were making that accusation. But you were more focused on Jungkook's reaction. The look on his face was beyond furious. His eyes darkened and you saw the tick in his jaw as he clenched it.

"Wait, you really think so?" one of them asked, everyone already engrossed in the gossip.

"He is a manwhore," you shrugged. Jimin stifled his laugh, not wanting to be too mean to Jungkook. You finally looked away from Jungkook and back at the group. "And he always gets the good projects. Boss doesn't favour anyone else like that." Your coworkers immediately started gossiping amongst themselves, making random connections because what you said made sense. Some of them already started getting riled up, thinking that their opportunities had been snatched by Jungkook through the boss. You obviously didn't know for sure whether Jungkook was sleeping with your boss or not. But you didn't have to. You just had to plant the idea and you knew your coworkers would jump to conclusions.

"You must be really pissed at him," Jimin whispered, leaning back against the counter. You felt Jungkook's eyes glaring daggers at you but you paid him no attention.

"I promise he had it coming," you whispered back, a devious smirk settling on your lips.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side," he chuckled. You just shot him a smirk. When you glanced back at Jungkook, you barely caught him walking out the door. You didn't know what you were expecting. Maybe you wanted him to lose his shit in front of everyone, or yank you out of the room with him. So the disappointment you felt only annoyed you more. By the time you finished your lunch and made your way back to your desk, you already began hearing whispers about Jungkook and your boss. For a moment, you wondered if this was crossing the line. Definitely. But so was getting you to blow him and ditching you in that bathroom. Now you're even. You couldn't help but smile, knowing that he must be seething about the rumours.

A couple hours later, you were being called to your boss' office to discuss the new project she'd assigned you and Jungkook. You reluctantly grabbed your things and made your way there. You couldn't keep in your scoff when you saw Jungkook already there, making your boss giggle about god knows what. Your boss cleared her throat as she noticed you in the doorway, peeling herself off her desk from how far she was leaning forward towards Jungkook. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Way to be subtle.

"Y/n," she announced, "Come, sit down." You forced a smile as you sat down in the chair next to Jungkook. He didn't say anything to you, didn't even bother looking at you. Just being in his proximity was pissing you off, especially since he had nothing to say to you. Obviously he couldn't say anything in front of the boss, but you wanted to see that you'd made him just as angry as he'd made you. Maybe all this rage was clouding your mind and judgement...but who cares?

You pulled out your pen and began taking notes as she started talking about the project. Despite hating working with Jungkook, you weren't going to let that ruin your work on this project. You rolled your eyes when you saw that he wasn't taking notes at all. Of course. As your boss began wrapping up the conversation, you gathered your things again, getting up to leave.

"Listen you two," she started, her tone changing. You raised your brows and sat down, curious what she had to say. "I know you don't like working together, but this is an important project. So please, put your feelings aside and work on this together." You scoffed, forgetting to keep your composure. That's when Jungkook finally looked at you. His eyes were fiery but he looked vaguely amused that you had the courage to scoff at the boss. Your boss was also looking at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation. That was all you needed to decide that maybe you weren't even with him just yet.

"Sorry, but it's not about feelings. Our work ethics don't match. I'd rather work on this alone," you said, straightening your back as you felt like you were in the spotlight. Your boss didn't look too happy.

"This isn't a one person project Y/n," she pointed out.

"I know, but it would honestly be easier to do the work myself instead of having to chase him around, begging him to get anything done." The amusement quickly disappeared from Jungkook's face.

"Excuse me?" he finally spoke. You ignored him.

"Maybe we can switch him out for someone who's actually focused on their work instead of flirting," you boldly stated. Your boss scoffed in disbelief.

"What is your problem? Do you think I want to work with you?" Jungkook spat, just about done with your shit. He shifted in his chair to face you, one hand gripping the armrest hard enough to see the whites of his knuckles. Oh now he had something to say.

"You're lucky to be working on this with me. Or else this project would've gone to shit," you retorted with an equal amount of spite.

"There's a reason I'm on this project Y/n. Because I'm good at my job. So if you're letting your personal feelings affect your professionalism, you need to get a grip." His words stung but you refused to accept that there was some truth to them. He was giving you a taste of your own medicine; humiliating you in front of your boss like you were doing to him. All your self control and common sense went out the window when you felt that embarrassment.

"Yeah, that's why you're on this project," you said sarcastically, referring to the rumour you'd started a few short hours ago. You could practically see his nostrils flare as he willed himself to keep his mouth shut.

"You're out of line Y/n," your boss jumped in. She hadn't heard the rumours yet, but she could clearly see that Jungkook didn't like the implications of what you had said. "I don't care whether you two like each other or not. You will put aside...whatever this is...and work together on this, and that's final," she said firmly. Irritation coursed through you, seeing her take Jungkook's side yet again.

"Yes ma'am," you barely grit through your teeth. You'd be darned if you got fired over Jungkook. You quickly stood up and left, rushing to the file room for a moment to cool down. It was the only place you could get some silence - no one ever really stepped into the filing room because most of your work was stored digitally anyways. You pressed your back to one of the metal cabinets, sliding down to crouch as the door slowly shut. You took some deep breaths to calm down. If you went back out there now, you would rip someone's head off. How did Jungkook have the audacity to continue being a dick to you? You knew you'd without a doubt crossed the line back there, but despite that, you didn't feel even with him yet. After a few moments of dragging your mind away from these thoughts, you took one last deep breath and stood back up. You straightened your skirt and fixed your hair. Since you were already there, you decided to grab some files you needed for the project before going back out there. You turned around, pulling a drawer open and digging through the files before you found them. Just as you pulled them out, you heard the door open behind you. You already knew who it was, getting a waft of his cologne. Your heart already began beating faster, not knowing what to anticipate. There was a beat of silence as the door slowly shut.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jungkook grit through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down. You didn't bother turning around or replying to him. Any semblance of self control he had left snapped when you didn't even acknowledge him. With three quick strides, he was right behind you, pressing you face flat against the cabinets. He yanked one of your hands behind your back, making you drop your files. You yelped as his entire body caged you in, slight panic rising in your chest.

"You don't get to ignore me now," he snapped, voice low. "You haven't shut the fuck up for the last few days, don't start now." He yanked your arm down further so he could hold your wrist with one hand. You groaned at the ache, but decided against complaining about it. His anger was palpable; you could practically feel it seeping through your skin, igniting your own fury. In the shock of the moment, you'd almost forgotten that Jungkook wasn't the only one with reason to be upset. This was all a consequence of his insanely disrespectful behaviour, and he had the nerve to be mad at you now?

"What is it? What's got you so fucking riled up, hmm?" He sounded bewildered, gritting the words through his teeth. The more he pressed against you, the harder it got to ignore the heat building in you. An ugly satisfaction was creeping through you seeing the way you'd managed to get under his skin. This was what you wanted; to see that you'd affected him.

"Didn't get enough cock last time? That it?" he growled, bending down next to your ear. His words pierced right through you, as if he knew exactly which buttons to press.

"Fuck you," you spat before you could compose yourself. You strained in his hold, your arm coming up to elbow him in the ribs. To your dismay, Jungkook predicted your move and held you tighter, keeping you still.

"I thought it'd be enough to keep you satiated for at least a week. But you're just a cock hungry whore hm? " he taunted, his lips grazing your ear and sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. "I should've fucked your throat a little harder. Wouldn't be able to lie about me to everyone - including our boss - then, would you?" Despite the bitterness in his voice, your body reacted to his words. Your mind was scolding itself for the rush of arousal that coursed through you. How was he still affecting you like this?

You shook your head clear. No. He wasn't going to have his way this time.

"Lie? I haven't lied about anything," you replied with a snarky tone. Jungkook chuckled in disbelief. He quickly flipped you around so you were forced to face him. You didn't hesitate to meet his ravenous gaze with your own.

"No? So you really think I'm sleeping with the boss?" he asked, tone getting serious. You shrugged nonchalantly, annoying him more.

"You'll fuck anything that moves," you jabbed. "At least fucking the boss has some real benefits unlike the girl from the bar. Maybe she'd even give you a raise if you could satisfy her properly." Jungkook couldn't hide the disgust that flared across his features; insulted that you thought so little of him. The urge to shut you up was growing stronger by the second, burning through his insides. You were going to drive him insane.

"Watch yourself," he warned, the words coming out dark and gravelly. But the surge of excitement that you felt, knowing that you had managed to provoke him, was addicting. You wanted more.

"If it was anyone else, I'd be all for it. Get that bag, you know?" you said with indifference. "But you? I thought the boss had better taste. Her bar must be in hell." That was enough for Jungkook. Before you even had a second to process what was happening, one of his hands was wrapped around your neck. His fingers dug into the flesh, limiting your breath in the most delicious way.

"You didn't seem to think so when you were begging me to touch you - to fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom," he growled, stepping closer, face inches from yours.

"Yeah, obviously I expected too much," you sneered. "You don't know how to please anyone but yourself. Boss must be a real masochist to keep going back to you. Poor thing," you tutted, knowing you'd practically nailed the head in your own coffin before you'd even finished your thought. Jungkook's face contorted in a snarl as his grip tightened around your throat. You gasped, the dark swirl in your core intensifying.

"Maybe I should talk to her," you patronized, chasing the high from pissing him off. "I can recommend someone who can actually make her feel good - get her off. A man. Not a selfish boy," you emphasized. "Think she'll like me better than you after that?" With that, his other hand was pressed firmly against your mouth, effectively shutting you up. You grunted at the sheer pressure of his hold, now struggling to breathe.

"You just don't shut up, do you?" he spat. The look in his eyes was nearly feral; like he was going to eat you alive. His ego took a hit to your words, even though he knew you didn't actually believe everything you'd said. Still, you seemed to be stuck on his 'selfishness'. It infuriated him that you didn't understand why he wasn't giving you what you wanted, but he'd had enough of you running your mouth. If you'd forgotten how easily he made you melt under his touch, he'd just have to remind you. And make sure you never forgot again.

With each passing second of silent seething, you thought he might actually choke you out. But then he let go of you. You gasped for air, coughing as you caught your breath. Just as you were about to shoot him the dirtiest look you could muster, Jungkook sank to his knees. The snarky remark on your tongue vanished as you watched him kneel in front of you, looking up at you with a carnivorous gaze. Lust consumed your senses as he wordlessly loosened his tie, tugging at the collar of his shirt. You'd think that seeing him on his knees would make you feel more powerful in the situation. But the hunger in his eyes made it clear that he was still very much in control.

Simply put: Jungkook, in a suit and on his knees, was enough to wipe away your last bit of common sense.

"This is what you want, right?" he asked, his hands slipping under your skirt. You felt paralyzed, your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved up your thighs, slowly dragging your skirt up with them. "You wanna cum, yeah?" You were genuinely struggling to form any thoughts, your senses heightened.

"Want me to make you cum?" A strangled groan bubbled in your throat at his tone. He'd barely done a thing and your breathing was already heavy. So much for your resolve. As your skirt bunched above your hips, you suddenly became hyper aware of your situation. You were still at work, in a file room, door unlocked.

"Someone could walk in," you gasped, trying to convince yourself that you didn't want this. He ignored you, trailing his fingers down your hips and legs instead. "We've already been gone for a while. What if someone comes looking?" You desperately tried to focus your wandering mind.

"I guess I should hurry then," he sneered, shooting you a glare. Then his fingers were sliding between your legs, making you close your eyes and sigh as they eased the ache in your clit. By that point you were too far gone to even feel embarrassed about having soaked through your panties. Jungkook hissed as your slick coated his digits. "I put the bar in hell, but still, you get so wet for me," he snapped, adding more pressure. For the first time all day, you had nothing to quip back with. Your sweet silence was like music to his ears. Mindful of the time, Jungkook hooked his fingers in your underwear and pulled them down your legs. You knew there was no going back as you stepped out of them. Your knees felt weak as you watched him hastily shove them in his pocket. But before you could ask what he was planning on doing with them, he hooked a hand under your thigh, lifting your leg up and to the side. With your legs spread and your pussy staring him in the face, Jungkook was struggling to control himself. He wanted to tease you - make you beg and plead - but he didn't. Fuck. He couldn't; not when he felt like he'd lose his sanity if he didn't taste you right away.

Without wasting another second, his lips were pressed to you, the velvety heat of his mouth engulfing you as his tongue licked at your wetness. Your mouth was left agape as your hands buried into his hair, using the locks to keep yourself tethered. Jungkook groaned into your heat; he felt like he was getting drunk off of you. His fingers dug into your thighs as he hungrily lapped at your pussy. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a drawn out moan as his lips wrapped around your clit, creating the perfect amount of suction. You would've thought he was starved seeing the vigor with which he ate you out. He didn't stop, didn't pull away for a single breath - too consumed with the taste of you on his tongue. You were embarrassingly close already, struggling to contain your moans and whimpers. You bit your lip, trying to hold them in, but another particular harsh lick to your clit had you groaning Jungkook's name. Seeing you unravel so quickly only fueled Jungkook's appetite; the sound of his name on your lips going straight to his aching cock. All it took was him groaning into your cunt after that to send you over the edge. Your fingers yanked at his hair, desperately pulling him closer as you felt the white heat build up.

"Jungkook, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed, voice whiny as you tried to keep quiet. "Gonna cum," you moaned right as you crashed over the edge. Jungkook felt you tense in his hold as you came on his tongue. He diligently lapped at your slit, sure to pay attention to your clit as well to help you ride out your orgasm. He slowed down as you came down from your high. Naturally, your legs tried to close together once his tongue became overstimulating. But Jungkook's hold was firm, keeping your legs apart. You tried to catch your breath, mind reeling from the mix of pleasure and pain flooding your senses.

"Jungkook... wait," is all you managed to get out. He ignored you again, picking up his pace despite your cringing.

"So fucking good," he growled against you, like he hated admitting it to himself. It felt weird hearing him compliment you after all the bickering and degrading earlier. Yet you couldn't deny that it boosted your ego seeing him so fucked out and angry. He pushed you further up against the cabinets, giving himself better access to you and delving his tongue into your dripping hole. And just like that, the sensitivity was replaced with a delicious pleasure once again.

"Please, wait..." you breathlessly pleaded. In contrast to the last orgasm, he was building this one up slowly. Unfortunately for you, that meant it felt twice as intense and you were getting increasingly worried about being caught.

"Thought you wanted to cum, sweetheart," he mocked. "That's why you're being such a bitch, right? Mad that I didn't make you cum last time?" he grit through his teeth. You cursed him under your breath, but were more focused on the feeling of his soft lips against. You finally looked down at him properly, ready to glare at him. But the second you saw his dark eyes staring up at you, the rest of his face buried between your legs, you lost your train of thought entirely. Then you saw his hand sprawled across your lower stomach while his thumb rubbed circles into your clit. Fuck, why was he so hot?

"What if we get caught?" you half-heartedly complained, trying to muffle your whimpers.

"They'll see what a fucking slut you are for me then," he grunted. You slapped a hand over your mouth when he picked up his pace, continuing to plunge his tongue in and out of you. "Keep your hands down," he demanded, pressing harder on your clit. "You're gonna keep moaning like that for me," he hissed, delving right back into the heat of your cunt. In that moment, all you heard was his demanding tone and your hands instinctively went back to his hair without a second thought. You whined, trying to keep your voice down as he slowly built up your pleasure.

"Good," he praised, his words muffled as he continued to eat you out. "I should make you scream, so that everyone knows that you, Y/n, are cumming on my tongue." His words were bitter but they turned you on more. You clearly had some problems. It didn't take very long after that to feel that white heat building up again. Jungkook could tell you were almost there, so he sped up the pace of his fingers and plunged his tongue deeper into you. "Including our boss," he rasped. And then you were cumming again; gripping tightly onto his hair and groaning his name once more.

"There you go," he coaxed, letting you ride his face. You hadn't realized, but at some point, your hips had started moving on their own. Seeing you with your eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open, as you unraveled under his touch, only fueled Jungkook's hunger. When you started coming down, he finally pulled away; giving you a second of reprieve. That was until you looked down to see his blown out, dark eyes staring at you. His mouth and chin were covered in your juices and he looked ravenous. He quickly pulled off his suit jacket, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes never leaving yours. Your chest heaved; partly because you were still catching your breath, and partly because of how fucking hot Jungkook looked in the moment. His hands went right back to your thighs, pulling them apart once more.

"Wait, what're you doing?!" you asked, eyes going wide. "I can't cum again, please," you nearly cried. His fingers dug into your thighs as he watched you plead.

"You can and you will," he said firmly. "You know why?" He slid his fingers between your folds, gathering all the wetness that had pooled. "Because you fucking love my touch," he growled. Your already weak knees felt even weaker.

"You're so desperate for it; for my mouth, my fingers, my cock." Your legs threatened to buckle under you if it weren't for Jungkook's hand holding you up. "So desperate that you're being such a fucking brat," he spat. "Trying to piss me off. So, what? So that I'd finally touch you again?" he mocked. Your senses were overwhelmed and his words settled in a pit in your stomach. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes; whether it was because of his harsh words or the overstimulation of his fingers, you weren't sure. Just as you were about to retort, Jungkook slipped a slender finger into you which slid in smoothly with how wet you were. He let out a throaty groan, quickly slipping another finger into you and curling them upwards. You nearly doubled over as he pressed right into your g-spot.

"See how tuned your body is to me? I've barely done a thing and you're already a mess," he taunted. Seeing how flimsy your legs had gotten, he quickly threw the leg he was holding over his shoulder, getting even closer to you. His name left your lips in a whine, your body torn between pleasure and worry. "Well here, I'm giving you what you want." He punctuated his words by curling his fingers again, making you moan. "You wanna cum? I'll make you cum...over and over again, so you never forget how good I make you feel." And with that, he finally pulled his fingers out before slamming them back into you, setting a hard pace.

Your mind was left blank, so consumed with pleasure that you couldn't even think about staying quiet. Whimpers and moans shamelessly tumbled out of you as he filled you up so delightfully. Jungkook wasn't unaffected either. Feeling how warm and wet you were was driving him up the wall, numbing his own thoughts.

"So wet for me, fuck. My cock would slide right into you with how drenched you are," he thought out loud. He felt you tighten around his fingers, making him snarl and pick up his pace. "Filthy fucking cockslut. I can't wait to feel you tighten around me like that when I'm fucking all this brattiness out of you," he growled, voice low. You could only moan in response.

"Jungkook, s-slow down, please," you begged, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Before you knew it, his free hand came down on your pussy, leaving a delicious sting spreading through you. A half yelp-half moan sound came out of you, making Jungkook scoff.

"You're gonna take what I give you, like a good little slut," he grunted. "What do you have to say now Y/n?" he asked, annoyance lacing his voice. "You're so convinced I'm fucking every woman and leaving them unsatisfied. Do you feel satisfied yet?" With his fingers pumping you, grazing your g-spot with every thrust, it was nearly impossible for you to form a coherent thought. When you didn't answer, he gave your pussy another smack, making you hiss.

"Answer me," he demanded, "How do you feel now Y/n?"

"F-feel good," is all you could come up with. Jungkook chuckled at your fucked out state.

"Who's making you feel good sweetheart?"

"You," you moaned, feeling yourself reach your climax again. "Oh my god. Jungkook, please...don't stop. Feels so good, I'm gonna-"

Jungkook's ego inflated as you finally found your words again, saying exactly what he wanted to hear. Hearing you beg for him almost made up for all the shit you'd put him through that day. Almost. You were creaming on his fingers before you could even finish your sentence, moaning his name way louder than you should.

"Now you're finally being a good girl," he praised, continuing to pump his fingers through your orgasm. "Fuck, you're getting so tight. Keep cumming on my fingers like that, yeah?" he groaned, imagining how good you would feel on his cock. Your orgasm was so powerful, you were cumming for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook didn't mind; continuing to work you through it. When it was finally over, your legs gave out. Jungkook quickly caught you as you collapsed, and he placed you down on his discarded jacket on the floor. You closed your eyes and waited for your heart rate to go back to normal. When you opened your eyes after a few moments, Jungkook was still kneeling in front of you. His gaze was trained on your still exposed cunt and he had slipped his soaked fingers into his mouth, tasting you all over again. You worried for second that he still wasn't done with you. He slowly dragged his glazed over eyes to meet your. You gulped at the voracious look on his face, your legs instinctively closing.

Meanwhile, Jungkook was battling with his own insatiable thoughts. He knew he couldn't forget about this, about you, about your pussy after this. As infuriating and insufferable you were, he couldn't deny how good you tasted and felt. And he sure as hell couldn't deny how hard you'd gotten him either. With his hormones surging through him, all he could think about was being inside you, in any way. He saw the look on your face and nearly scoffed. You fucked up his reputation and humiliated him all because you wanted to cum, and now you couldn't take it. He took a deep breath, forcing his thoughts away so he could be rational.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you cum again," he said. You scoffed, easing up a little with his reassurance. "You got what you wanted, right? Now maybe you'll keep your mouth shut." The high of your pleasure was wearing off and the weight of his words were hitting you. Did he really just think you were desperate for him? Had he forgotten how he was shamelessly flirting with that other girl right after leaving you in that bathroom? Reality finally caught up with you, and you realized how vulnerable you'd made yourself to him. If someone came in right now, the only person who'd be humiliated was you. Clearly, all of this was just a game to him; a way to shut you up. Jungkook was toying with you and you were letting him. A similar shame and hurt creeped across your skin as the night he'd left you in the bar bathroom. Part of you had started to feel bad about what you'd done earlier, but if Jungkook really was just using you, then you were still nowhere near even.

Without saying a word, you stood up, pulling your skirt back down. In the process, you remembered that he'd taken your underwear. But you'd have to talk to him to ask for them back, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. You'd just have to clean up later and make it through the day without them. You straightened your clothes, trying to make them look as less wrinkly as possible, avoiding Jungkook's piercing gaze. When you finally felt like you looked presentable, that's when you looked at him. This time it was him that was left a mess. His hair was ruined by all the grabbing and pulling you'd done, and his collar was soaked with your juices. You looked at his jacket that you were not standing on, and sure enough, you'd left a wet spot and now heel marks on it too. It made you feel a little better, knowing that this time he'd have to fix himself up instead of you. You picked up his jacket with the toe of your shoe before kicking it over to him. You shot him a cold look.

"You're an asshole," you stated before walking out the door. Jungkook was left on the floor, even more frustrated. He'd felt more gratified after putting you in your place, but then what was that? You'd obviously enjoyed yourself, so what was the problem now? He groaned loudly. Despite his anger, the bulge in his pants was now aching. Everything about you was infuriating to him, so how did you have this much of an affect on him? His mind wandered back to how you felt in his hands and on his tongue. He growled as he palmed his crotch, slowly taking out his hard cock. He stroked himself harshly with the frustration you'd left him with. He quickly pulled out your panties from his pocket, unable to stop himself. His head rolled back and your name spilled past his lips along with low groans as he brought up the thin fabric to his face.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @myjungkookthighs @bemuas @junecat18 @exortedgoods @jahnaviii @jk97bam @itsmekylabear @blueberriesm @marvelbun @vantelover1306 @runariya @btstrology @diame93 @curse-of-art @minyoongi7016

[mihachansstuff]

So I finished reading a danmei novel for the very first time (it's SVSSS)

Spoiler Alert

(And incoming rant...)

So I just finished reeading the volume 4 of SVSSS, and even before i finished it i knew i have to talk about it and let my thoughts out somehow and here we are. My danmei journey started not too long ago with MDZS donghua before i found myself buying physical copies of SVSSS. Although my first novel was 2ha but I read till volume 6 to keep it on hold and finished this one instead.

Now that i am done, before i make it too long i will just leave some snippets of audacious thoughts here which may or may not be agreed upon -

I really wanted to like LBH, but in the end I just couldn't, some parts and traits of his character just don't sit well with me. I mainly hate his manipulative part, and I just don't understand why someone like Shen Yuan/SQQ falls for it again and again.

Zhuzhi lang is indeed a lovable character, but I just can't forgive him for killing Gongyi Xiao. The only time I shed tears while reading this novel was when we hear about his death and how SQQ was then remembering how GYX told him he would visit his peak after everything is over. (I was still holding on to that hope that he will be miraculously alive *sob*)

I found Tianlang-Jun to be a decent character, even more decent than his own son. I mean, yeah LBH went through traumatic periods but TLJ also went through miserable times while sealed. But in the end he just let all of it go while his son kept getting jealous and vicious towards every human being close to SQQ.

SQH and MBJ is a good ship. I would love to know more about them I need more Moshang content (this everyone will agree i know)

In that one interview chapter at volume 4 SQH's comment about Bingqiu being the kindergartner and his teacher, I can't agree more. Also his comment about how dating LBH must be exhausting and annoying was so true that I just don't understand why SQQ accepts all this 😭😭

I wish I could learn more about Liu Mingyan's thought process while writing Regrets of Chunshan.

I saw a Youtube comment that said - "In SVSSS, almost every character can be shipped with SQQ" and I couldn't agree more! SQQxYQY, SQQxLQG and etc. all are good ship material.

I felt like there were more background plots that could be explored (like what happened to Huan Hua Palace after, or how TLJ was doing, or some more info and background about certain characters etc). In this way I feel like Shen Yuan, heh

The novel art is pretty, but the way LBH was described about his looks and beauty, I somehow didn't feel it through the art. My fav character ranking according to art would be Tianlang Jun→Mobei Jun→SQQ, even though I really like curly hair.

At this point people might think I am a LBH hater, but really I am not, or at least I don't want to be. But I just really think SQQ deserved a better peaceful life at CQ Mountain, around his disciples and sect brothers that really adore him like a family. I really hated the ending in Vol 3 where SQQ left the mountain with LBH in this respect. Well at least in vol 4 it said that the two come to the mountain from time to time so I guess I can calm down a bit.

I really, really like Shen Qingqiu. He's a diva. But I just don't understand...some of his choices. But I guess I will just leave it at that.

This is my first time finishing a danmei novel as I mentioned already, so please go easy on me, even though I may have said things that might spark an argument. Overall I think it was a good experience and I'm looking forward to reading more novels. Feel free to give me some recommendations!

[four-leafed-queer-gal]

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧Hi there! You can call me Clover!𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧toki! mi waso Kowe!𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

‧₊˚🌿✩ ₊˚🪵⊹♡‧₊˚🌿✩ ₊˚🪵⊹♡

I AM NOT ON POST LIMIT

I hate to do this, because there are some genuine and important donation pages and the like out there, but a few bad apples mess it up for everyone I suppose.

ATTENTION EVERYONE:

UNLESS WE ARE MUTUALS, DO NOT SEND ME ASKS WITH DONATION LINKS. IF YOU DO, I WILL ASSUME YOU ARE A BOT AND YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

More below the cut ::3

♡ 18 years old, & a Saggitarius! (Fuck the new zodiac sign system, Sagittarius for life, I'm not a Scorpio)

♡ ✨Taken✨ by the amazing @theacemagpie, the Black Bat to my Spoiler 8/7/2024 (Or 7/8/2024, if you use DD/MM/YYYY)

♡ my pronouns are she/they! 🏳️‍⚧️

♡ I have ASD, BPD, PTSD, and ADHD ☘️

♡ I love languages! I can only speak English fluently, but I'm learning a little bit of everything! If you can name it, I likely know at least one or two words! 🗣️

♡ I like Marvel, PJO, Avatar (Both blue people and not blue people), Batman, Hunger Games, Suits (The show), Skyrim, Ben 10 (Not the reboot), and more! ✨

♡ Therian! Theriotypes: Spotted Hyena, Sea Wolf, Viperfish, Vampire Bat, Arctic Fox, Eleonora's Falcon, Moth, Barracuda, Thresher Shark, Raven, & Cheetah (Plus others I haven't figured out yet)

♡ my favourite animals are dinosaurs 🦖

♡ I love to read 📚

♡ I enjoy writing! ✏️

♡ I am questioning my religion, I have no idea anymore tbh- Half considering making one-

"People are going to talk shit about you no matter what. May as well give them an interesting topic!"

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Please DNI if: you’re queerphobic, anti-self dx, someone who supports beastiality, zoophilia, pedophilia, rape, etc, or if you’re racist, ableist, sexist, or fascist. Be nice! I know the block button exists but I don't like using it, and much prefer to argue and correct falsehoods ✨☘️

Am Israel Chai | עם ישראל חי

Zionism doesn't mean "Kill The Arabs," otherwise very few people would be Zionist; It means "Jews Deserve a Place in the Land that's also sacred to the Jews."

Proudly hoping for a two-state solution

Taylor Swift makes halfway decent music and is a bad person <3

"Be humble, be kind, but don't be afraid to drag the fucker who crosses the line" - La Storia

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚

Side blogs! Pls interact with them?

- @cass-daughter-o-ari RP blog for my PJO OC, Cass Clemens!

- @the-axolotl-queen Blog for the Axolotl Kingdom! I'm the Queen, obvs-

- @montoya-son-o-nemesis RP blog for my PJO OC, Jason Montoya!

- @lucas-bane-son-of-punishment RP blog for my PJO OC, Lucas Bane!

- @lughs-lightheaded-son RP blog for my Celtic PJO OC, Aidan O'Neil!

- @daughter-of-the-cailleach RP blog for my Celtic PJO OC, Taran Keir!

- @ronan-child-of-ogham RP blog for my Celtic PJO OC, Ronan Callahan!

- @behold-a-man-everyday Behold! A man! Everyday!

- @diogenes-totally-real Diogenes the Cynic gimmick blog!

- @aeolus-the4winds RP blog for Aeolus, Notos, Zephyros, Boreas, Euros, Aeolus, Auster, Favonius, Aquilon, and Vulturnus!

- @the-fmby-north-carolina-totally Gimmick blog, a Femboy North Carolina!

- @antiquitian-empire-real Gimmick blog, Antiquitian Empire! A micronation!

- @literally-the-first-state Gimmick blog, Delaware! The first state in the United States!

- @four-leafed-queer-writing Writing blog! I'll reblog writing tips, and sometimes post original stories of mine!

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚

Here are some of my cool humans (moots)! 💚

♡ @theacemagpie My amazing girlfriend! A fellow fan of numerous fandoms, and a speaker of multiple languages! <3

♡ @star-dust-shark Mack! He's a super cool dude, and who made most of this intro post! Go check out his blog!

♡ @lucas-iamgod Lucas! He's also a really cool guy, you should check out his blog!

♡ @hugs4neth-official Neth + others! They're all really cool, and in my experience are nice. (THEY BACK, BITCHES)

♡ @green-thighs-save-lives I honestly don't know much about him, but he's a nice, chill guy from our interactions.

♡ @violet-hady Hady! Great person, good friend, though always tells me to be healthy and stuff-

♡ @ankoku-teion Sarah! My lovely Irish moot, and fellow sword lover

♡ @poemsofanentomologist An anentomologist! They're really cool, they write poetry and have inspired me once or twice to write some of my own!

♡ @i-am-thoroughly-confused A fellow therian & fellow bat! They are a good being :3

♡ @poppitron360 A fellow PJO enjoyer! They've got great takes on Riordanverse stuff, y'all should check out their blog!

♡ @justagremlinoncaffeine Gremlin! Cool person, really nice, I've enjoyed every interaction I have with them.

♡ @unstableunicornsofasgard Forrest! Also a great person, ¡y el habla español!

♡ @theacemagpie Magpie! An amazing person! Honestly can't believe it took me this long to add her to my pinned, lol-

♡ @peace-love-and-french-toast Amazing human! I sometimes do PJO rps with them, and with a bunch of others! They run @cabinseventheaterchick, and do a darn good job!

♡ @lizzzzzzzzzzzzzz---lol We haven't interacted much, but Liz is a great person, and what little interaction we have had has been good!

♡ + All my other moots! I have a lot, so I can't list all of y'all, but you're all amazing!

₊˚ʚ 🌱 ₊˚✧ﾟ.

"Either walk like you are the Queen, or like you don't care who the Queen is." - Ngaru

Have a nice time! <3

(Notes: Intro post was made by @star-dust-shark!! If you want one like it, go check out Mack's blog!! Credit for the shark pictures goes to @/dadstielkline)

[miss-tc-nova]

A Mistake - Jade Leech x Reader

It's okay anon, I too hate myself. This was a fun one. I don't typically write for Jade, but this one was actually really easy once I got the poll results. Speaking of...

I was NOT prepared for that result, but these were the two I thought Jade would confront but would stand up to him in their own ways. But Deuce was definitely a fun pick.

Premise: Jade regrets his breakup

Words: 1,472

~~~~~

               Useful tool: a knife.

               Every decent chef knows a few tricks and it’s nigh invaluable in the kitchen. Dicing carrots, trimming fat, mincing meat, flaying flesh. Removing skin. Cutting. Slicing. Chopping. Stabbing. And stabbing. And stabbing!

               “Jade.”

               The young man snaps to. Upon the cutting board lies a cut of meat, absolutely ruined as a servable chicken breast. It seems his inner monologue has gotten the best of him.

               His housewarden sighs, approaching to examine his work. “What did you do? We can’t serve this, even if Floyd could find a decent method of cooking it.”

               “My apologies. It seems I forgot to grab a new one when I was done.”

               Azul eyes his fellow second-year. “It’s unusual for you to waste Lounge resources. You’re not ill, are you?”

               “No. I assure you I’m perfectly healthy.”

               “Well whatever it is on your mind, perhaps it’s best for you to take the rest of the day off, lest you ruin more of my product.”

               Jade would prefer not to, but graciously bows out of the kitchen.

               It’s been perhaps three months since Jade’s unfortunate error. As rare as these mistakes are, this one has been particularly punishing.

               His partner was perfect. Life had never been so lovely. His love could preempt his every need and solved all his problems with ease. Every morning began with a kiss and ended with at least a dozen more. Together, they indulged in his hobbies, his partner soaking up every bit of information he offered as if it were gospel. There were few disagreements and even fewer arguments. Even Floyd liked the human.

               Yet somehow the serenity of their relationship felt wrong. It was comfortable, effortless—it was boring.

               Or so he thought.

               Jade made the fatal decision to end the relationship. He’d deluded himself so strongly that this relation was now worthless that he felt nothing, even as the pitiful human standing before him began to tear up. There were emotions and questions and confusion, none of which belonged to Jade.

               So that was it. As weeks passed, Jade went about school life as he used to, though he found holes in his routine. The helpful hand he’d grown accustomed to was absent, his forays into the mountains were now solo trips, and he found it more difficult to wake up and fall asleep on his own. The eel chalked it up to the change being so fresh, hoping to adjust to life without soon enough.

               But he didn’t.

               Jade never could shake the feeling that he’d opened a hole in his life that he couldn’t repair on his own. He tried to bury himself in hobbies, tried to pick up more shifts at the Lounge, tried to spend more time with other people, but still he felt something missing.

               Then, one day, as Jade was crossing school grounds on his way to work, he spotted the prefect. Rarely have the two crossed paths since, but there’s no denying the flutter in his chest at the sight. And Jade knows now why his life has been so grey: he made a mistake.

               Always quick to act in correcting issues he finds, Jade took a step. Then froze.

               Those eyes were set alight with excitement and joy—as if Jade had never scarred that precious heart. A smile played on those beautiful lips, adding a heavenly glow to an already angelic face. Yet neither of these pleasantries were for Jade, but for someone else—Deuce Spade.

               Jade quickly took to uncovering the events that transpired after he and his darling parted ways that cursed day. Apparently, it was Deuce who provided support after the breakup. He was the one that helped erase the tears and help bring back that smile again. Now it’s Deuce who benefits from the radiance of the prefect.

               The sight of that happiness is still burned into his mind, igniting the flame that boils his blood. Yes, he messed up, but he can no longer see his life without his beloved. He needs that person in his life again; he needs that light to grace him once again. He has to do something.

               Banished from his Lounge duties, Jade attempts to steal away to the solemn wilderness. This is when he spots the thief. Instinctive hatred floods his system, cooled by the rationality that an assault will only cause more trouble. However, before he’s fully convinced of that idea, he finds himself approaching the younger student.

               “Decue.”

               The Heartslabyul boy lifts his head, full of sweet innocence as the eels closes the gap.

               “Jade? What’s up? Need something?”

               It takes considerable restraint not to wrap his hands around the boy’s throat.

               “I have a proposition for you.”

               “Proposition? If this is another one of Azul’s contracts, I think I’m good.”

               You wish.

               “No, this has nothing to do with my housewarden. The subject of concern happens to be that partner of yours.”

               It appears to take Deuce a moment to get the meaning and now he’s somewhat apprehensive.

               “What do you mean?”

               Jade puts on his best sales smile. “I would be happy to ensure you receive a copy of Azul’s study guides for every test until your graduation, including personal tutoring at any convenient hour.”

               That is certainly an offer on Jade’s part, and Deuce seems to appreciate that.

               “Seriously? But what do you want in return?”

               “It’s very simple.” The smile nearly slips. “I will grant you these generous study aids simply for the cessation of your relationship with the prefect.”

               “Cessation of my—what?” Hands raise. “I don’t think making deals about other people is a good idea.”

               Jade has some few backups. “Mmm, I wondered if that might not be enough. Very well. I would be more than happy to personally fulfill your scholarly duties, should you choose to accept my offer.”

               “Sorry, but this is a bad idea.”

               “I will personally comp your meals at the Monstro Lounge.”

               “No, that’s not—”

               Jade takes a step forward, looming over the man he wants to obliterate.

               Pure hatred grates in his voice. “If you don’t break up with the prefect, I will show you first hand that Floyd is not the scary one.”

               “Jade?”

               His heart seizes. Instantly recovering his smile, Jade faces his darling. “Hello, my dear. It’s been a while. How have you been?”

               “What are you doing here?”

               “I was—”

               He was a fool to think Deuce would keep his mouth shut.

               “I was just asking him about some homework stuff I’m struggling with.”

               That, he did not expect.

               Brows furrow, not entirely convinced of Deuce’s statement. Never before had Jade been subject to the scrutiny of that gaze, but it lashes into his heart. Still, there’s no question of the validity of the lie.

               “Oh…”

               Deuce pulls the prefect’s gaze with such ease, as if Jade doesn’t even exist.

               “Hey, I think I lost my phone. I’m gonna check the potions class; will you check the cafeteria for me?”

               “Sure. Meet up at Ramshackle in fifteen?”

               “Yep. Thanks.”

               In a simple, sweet parting gesture, Deuce leans forward to place a kiss against the prefect’s forehead. Steel claws clamp down on Jade’s windpipe. He wants nothing more than to tear that filthy, incompetent freshman away from his beloved. But if he acts too rashly, the rift he’s torn open will only grow.

               The lovely couple spare smiles and the subject of the previous conversation begins to wander away. Yet as Deuce turns back, so too does the prefect.

               Horror freezes Jade’s veins at the look of sheer loathing and distrust that’s aimed his way. Perhaps there is no repairing this mistake. Then it’s gone and Deuce regains his attention.

               “I’m glad you regret what you did.”

               The utter audacity of this first year. Even though Jade’s pleasant expression fades to a snarl, Deuce does not back down.

               “You caused a lot of damage and it took a long time to start healing. I spent so many sleepless nights in Ramshackle trying to fix what you did. And trying to take care of someone who’s practically given up. All because you were ‘bored.’”

               The merman’s sneer falters.

               “You probably didn’t even think once about all that suffering until you started suffering too. You had it real good���someone who genuinely loved you. But that wasn’t enough for you.”

               Jade’s voice quivers. “I made a mistake.”

               “I know. And I don’t plan on making the same one.”

               With that, Deuce walks away, pulling the phone from his pocket to send a message.

               For a while, Jade simply stands there, lamenting in the fact that he’s powerless to fix what he’s broken. Every word Deuce cut him with was right. Jade’s life would never be the same and it was all his fault.

               All because he was bored.

~~~~~

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Okay, I've Read Worm: A Retrospective Part 4: Let's Give Wildbow Some Fucking Well-Earned Praise

So, I've had a decent number of harsh words for Wildbow over the course of my liveblog, and also over on my main blog. Overall, most of them are about his WoGs or Ward, rather than Worm itself. I've also commented I don't think I'd enjoy talking to him (not that he's likely to ever reach out, but you know). But I've had some complaints about Worm too.

But the thing is, I did read Worm. I read the whole thing. A desire to write fanfic would not have kept me going through all 30 chapters if I hated it. Or even if I just thought it was like, mediocre. It's 1.6 Million words. I am not that kind of masochist.

Life is short, Worm is long, if I wasn't enjoying it, I'd have left a long time ago. So I did enjoy it.

And the thing is, even if I never pick up his other works (and I do intend to try some), I am no doubt going to have more harsh words for Wildbow in the future. And I have no doubt that even if I love say, Pact or Pale or Claw or Seek or... I dunno, his next Web Serial after Seek called *throws a dart at a wall* Iota, I'm sure I'll have harsh words. I can't think of a single creator of anything that I don't have at least some issues with something they put out.

And to be fair, even most people who fully like Worm and Ward tend to have some harsh words for him now and then, or at least negative ones.

BUT, I liked Worm. And so, I think it's fair to really sit down and give him some unalloyed, unambiguous praise.

The Pace of Output: This is probably low-hanging fruit, but it is genuinely impressive that Wildbow wrote Worm as quickly as he did, sticking to a schedule as consistently as he did. I am in awe. I think even if I didn't have to work at all, and was able to write all the time, I wouldn't even be able to match half of what he did in the same amount of time, in terms of output. Wildbow accomplished something that is genuinely amazing here.

The Shards, Entities and Powers: Shard mechanics are not my favorite thing about Worm. But the whole thing really does come together well. It's a pretty cohesive, pretty well directed power system to tell the story he wanted to tell. I don't consume much cape fiction, so I don't know what stuff beyond Marvel and DC are really like in terms of how powers work and how they all fit and service the story, but for Worm, the Shards work to tell the story he wants to tell, really well. I read and write mostly fantasy and sci-fi, and spend a lot of time in worldbuilding spaces dedicated to both, or have at least, and a lot of would be writers fall into the trap of trying to overdevelop the magic system or the rules for whatever crazy supertech their story has without really stopping to figure out how it fits for the story they want. That's generally not a great approach if the intent is to have a story, and not just a cool setting or a fun magic concept. Wildbow created a pretty cool system, and then managed to avoid the common trap of getting so attached to the power system and it's rules that it interfered with telling the story he wanted to tell. Instead, he built and bent the system with his story as the driving purpose, and kept it all cohesively working within that framework.

The Interludes: The Interludes are without a doubt some of the best shit in Worm, overall. The way he is able to convey so much about these characters in these cutaway scenes and expand the world and advance the story and develop ongoing themes and narratives? Nearly every Interlude is doing like, 4 things at once, I swear to got, and the way he juggles that all together is awesome, and the end result is great. I will never go back and reread all of Worm from start to finish. But I will sure as shit go back and read some of the interludes just for the sheer fun of it. The way these cutaways manage to get you inside the head of these people, see their perspective is really good, takes real skill to make you go 'I really kinda see Saint's POV here' for his Interlude, for instance. Really good.

Amy Dallon: So like, I think it's clear I love Amy. She's fascinating. I have big feelings about her, and she's a divisive as fuck character. But Amy Dallon is the most fascinating character in Worm for me personally and she's genuinely one of the most fascinating characters in anything I've read. I'll have more to say about Amy if I manage to get a version of that Amy retrospective I'm happy with written, but unironically? Wildbow, thank you for writing Amy Dallon. I bitch about how much she's taken over my brain, but Amy is such a fascinating, interesting, enjoyable and engrossing character that she has been a net positive for me. Reading Worm and reading about her has enriched my life. Thank you. You did a damn good job with her in Worm, Wildbow.

Taylor Hebert: As I said back in Part 1 of this retrospective, I was worried I'd find Taylor insufferable. Her capacity for self-rationalization should be an issue for me. It often can be in other characters. But Wildbow managed to write Taylor amazingly. He created a character who is multifaceted, multilayered, complex, nuanced and yet, pretty simple. She's intensely relatable, and yet, she is also deeply, deeply alien and abnormal. She does absolutely insane shit, and yet, when you're reading along with her POV, so much of what she does and thinks makes her seem like the only sane woman in the room. Even when you take a step back and realize what she does, she's very hard to not like. Even if you want to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her, you like her. She's great. She's an everywoman, she's no woman. She's clever and stupid and brilliant and unimaginative all at once. She is... She's Taylor Hebert. She's an antihero, a villain protagonist, a hero hero and... she's just some fucking girl.

Heroes/Villains: What I mean by this bulletpoint is - villain protagonists, making villainous characters sympathetic - that's easy enough to do. And making the 'official heroes' of a setting not really as great as they might seem is also fairly easy to do. But it is hard to pair the two together as well as Wildbow did. The Undersiders do a lot of bad things (I would disagree with people who say they're all *fundamentally* bad people - even Regent... ish, kinda sorta. He's so fucked up due to his background that calling him fundamentally bad is probably not really accurate. Though some people draw red lines around some of what he did, so that's more subjective. But like, the key thing is that he did that while *also* still making them pretty sympathetic without like... running protag-centered morality and still making them have done quite a bit of good (and a ton of bad) AND the handling of the heroes. Because it really does look a lot like he's doing a bit where the 'official heroes' are the real bad guys of the story between things like Armsmaster's shit and Interlude 2, but he also doesn't actually do that. And he executes it in a way that is really well done, without doing the thing where the narrative acts like someone is evil but like... the person isn't.

This isn't really an exhaustive list of 'everything Worm did well' or even 'Everything I liked about Worm', but it is stuff that Wildbow did really fucking well, that I really liked or am impressed with, and that he deserves unalloyed praise for.

There are reasons why I kept reading Worm, and those are some of the reasons.

(There could also be a point on how he manages the readers' information diet, but it's really hard to say for sure if it's something that I really liked because I came in so thoroughly spoiled. From what I can see, I think I would have liked it and given it the unalloyed praise normally, but it's impossible to say because I knew what 75% of these clues were ahead of time).

Mr. Bow - you did a lot of shit I don't like. But holy motherfucking shit, you did some goddamn amazing stuff too.

[not-poignant]

Hi, Pia! A year ago I discovered you through the Mysterious Skin fanfic, which truthfully has helped me in so many emotional layers till this day (and always will). After that read, I jumped on your profile and was blown away by the world you have created with your own hands. You really inspired me to publish my first fic in AO3 recently (for a random fandom), but sadly I've been having a hard time with it.

At the beginning I was relieved that fear didn't stop me anymore, but then it happened again, it came back, in another form, hitting me harder. I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations and when I read one of those I think: "This is perfect, I could never achieve this level, I don't have this voice, I should just delete mine, I don't have nothing to say, I can't make people feel this way" and I hate to have those feelings because I think it breaks down the true meaning of writing in general (to help people, to connect, to make a tribute, to have an emotional journey), but at this point I have lost my mind. My dream was always to be a writer, but I left it behind for so many reasons, now I thought things were changing inside me, but I guess it's not the case, I can't even deal with a fanfic...

I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before. How did you start writing? How has it been for you? How do you deal with these things? Feel free to answer me only if you're comfortable with that, I don't wanna put pressure on you as if you were my spiritual guide, but, for all the thoughts and things you share here, I think you are a wise person.

Sorry for the long text, I don't have people in real life to talk to about these issues. I'm really grateful to you already because of your story, it's always in my heart, it's part of me. Btw, I hope you are doing well, keep the amazing work. ❤️

PS: Sorry for the mistakes, not a native English speaker here.

Hi anon,

Congrats on posting your first fic! That's really huge. Even if it does open us up to The Insecurities, it's still a massive thing to do in the first place and I'm so happy for you.

As to everything else, oomf, let's get into it.

So the first thing is there is no writer out there who doesn't get assailed - literally assailed - by insecurities and massive feelings of self-doubt or even self-hatred over their writing (if there is, I haven't met them).

There's no point in writing at which they stop, and if you overcome some, new ones come in their place. I think that's just the nature of the beast - both wanting to (ideally) please at least some of our readers, and also offer something decent to read.

It can help to realise this is a normal part of writing and the experience. Obviously at its most severe, it might require therapy support, or professional support of some kind, but getting assailed by The Insecurities is part of being a creative person.

I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations

So yeah, this is true. Hear me out! This is true for me too. This is true for every writer that exists. Even the ones who win Pulitzers. This is going to sound blunt, but this is true for every story in the world. I know when I post my works that there are better stories with better characterisations out there. And there are stories that I consider perfect to me. But this last part is really important! I don't get to determine what's perfect for everyone. I'm not allowed to make that choice for them. And also people don't read in order to find The Most Perfect Story Ever, they read for many many many reasons, and that one often isn't even on the list! That's just on our list, when we feel beset by The Insecurities.

Like, yes, better stories exist. That's very subjective. They're better to you, they might not be better to some of the readers who read your work, and unless your only goal in writing is to be 'the best ever' (this is not a great goal imho because it's unattainable) sometimes a simple 'oh...yeah I mean it's true there are better stories according to me, but that doesn't mean that people won't enjoy mine, or that people won't think my stories aren't the best, and I'm not even writing to be the best in the world, so I don't know why I'm listening to this because it's not even what my values are in writing.'

But I also need to make it clear that your insecurities will never leave you 100%. They find new ways to come back, and they do keep coming back. We get periods free of the worst of it, often have low-key doubts in the background fairly frequently, and sometimes feel really good about writing. That's...writing. You haven't done anything wrong in your writing or in yourself when you have new insecurities coming in, and you've acknowledged yourself that things have already changed, because these are new or different insecurities. Think of it like an upward spiral, you circle back to feeling insecure, you have to if you want to keep going up.

You won't stay there forever, but the circling is part of the process. It can help to remind yourself of some cognitively true facts - what you think is perfect in writing is someone else's 'worst story ever' if they read it. What you love to read is not necessarily what you end up writing, and that doesn't mean it can't be someone's favourite story. And yeah, someone has already done something better by our standards, because I don't think there's any point on this journey where we go 'that's it, I've done it, I've become the best writer ever, insecurities begone!!!' (It would be nice, but it's not how it works).

So when insecurities come back it's not 'oh god I've failed at writing and/or keeping the insecurities away' it's - this is normal. You can go 'oh I'm being a regular writer right now, in the hard part of it.' I know this. It sucks. It probably means I need a break when it gets really bad, and I need to recharge a bit. I can keep improving, and my writing doesn't have to be anything other than entertaining. I've pretty much struck perfect from my vocabulary. It's too subjective.

I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before.

Anon, about twice a year I feel so bad about my writing I become convinced that the only answer is to delete all of it off my AO3 accounts. And on a regular basis I go between what I consider fairly normal insecurities (is that closing okay / is this arc good / will people like this character / have I pushed this too far / oh god my engagement is down am I terrible at writing), to pretty intense ones (idk why I do this nothing I write is good / how have I convinced these amazing people that this is worth their time / I wish I could write like (insert X author here) instead of this absolute mid shit etc.)

It helps me a lot to know that some of it is mental illness, but most of it is actually just normal. I'm a writer who wants my readers to have a good time and who wants to write something I can be proud of, and sometimes my brain won't let me feel proud of anything I've done because I made it, and sometimes I don't like myself very much. It means I should work on liking myself more. It doesn't mean I should stop writing.

I started writing as a kid, to cope with fairly awful life circumstances at home. So I was lucky that insecurities didn't matter because no one was seeing my writing except for me, I already hated myself (because people who were supposed to care for me, hated me - there's a reason I write the stories I do!) and I was literally trying to survive something that some people don't survive.

When I started sharing my writing, The Insecurities came. And...idk, I learned how to recognise it as a normal part of the process. It took a long, long time. It's normal to feel like there's something unique about how much we suffer over not liking our writing or feeling like it's bad, that the insecurities say something really true about our writing or even our integrity as a person.

Most of the time they say nothing at all except about the state of our mental health and how tired we are. For example, it's more normal for artists and writers to hate what they create during times of government unrest, or increased oppression, or in abusive households, because it's a way to redirect a lot of very unpleasant feelings to something we think we can control.

Sometimes it just happens because we're tired and the wave crashes over the dam we have in place that says 'go away insecurities.' Like you'd be amazed how much food, staying hydrated, getting good sleep / having good sleep hygiene can actually keep the worst of The Insecurities at bay.

Sometimes we need a break! Too much of a good thing in writing can lead to our brain trying to tell us we're terrible at it so we'll just walk away and watch some movies for a bit! The best way to prevent that is to take a break before we get there.

The good news is, you're a writer feeling something very normal for us writers. The bad news is that it feels bad. It can help to step back a bit, and also to join some writer's groups online maybe, ones that focus on support and lifting people up.

I wish I could say you one day hit a point where the insecurities never come back, but if anything, I don't think you can do these sorts of crafts without them. At their extremes they're not good for us, but the extremes of anything aren't good for us. You're not alone, I promise. The worst you've felt about your writing, is the worst many people have felt about their writing. It's just...often such a lonely process and many writers don't talk about it, but it's there, and it won't last. It's part of the spiral. Over time, you might find it easier when you know it's normal, and temporary, but frankly, there are times it's just really, really hard.

You will move past this, and then one day you'll touch on this again, and then you'll move past it again. Sometimes we spend longer in it than we wanted to, sometimes we need to take a longer break than we meant to, sometimes we write more than was good for us with how tired we were at the time.

It's not perfect, it's not supposed to be perfect, but it is part of the journey, it just means you're a writer like the rest of us writers, anon. I hope you can find your way back into writing more soon! And I hope you can be compassionate towards yourself. You put yourself out there, and have been writing, and honestly that's fucking amazing. I think you're awesome.

[sagan-starstuff]

What's the origin of your blog title? "We are made of starstuff" - Carl Sagan

OTP(s) + Shipname: Mulder and Scully, good old MSR. The one ship to rule them all, no one will ever do it like they did it.

Favourite colour: Basically all shades of blue

Favourite game: I don't really game much but I am playing Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild right now and it's pretty great.

Song stuck in your head: "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton thanks to my brother taking me a trip down memory lane

Weirdest habit/trait? I am pathological about keeping my nails short. It's not even a sex thing, I just haaate the feeling of having them more than like...2mm of overhang.

Hobbies: Reading, gardening, baking, slowly getting back into writing fic. I also have like....a dozen crafts/arts that I pick up for a month and then abandon

If you work, what's your profession? I'm a medical doctor. (IYKYK)

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Astrophysicist but somehow without all the math and computer science that seem to be required. I just wanna look at pretty pictures of space all day.

Something you're good at: I'm a pretty decent baker.

Something you're bad at: Talking coherently about my feelings.

Something you love: My husband and son. Chocolate. The feeling of the sun on my skin. The X-Files. Looking at the night sky. Walking around art museums.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: The X-Files. Also microbes!

Something you hate: Anti-intellectualism. Unfairness or injustice. Hypocrisy. The current state of American politics. Raisins.

Something you collect: X-Files stuff! And Terry Pratchett books. And books in general.

Something you forget: Biostatistics. I re-learn how to do the calculations before exams, then immediately forget.

What's your love language? Quality time and touch.

Favourite movie/show: The X-Files, always forever. I also love Contact, The Princess Bride, and basically everything Studio Ghibli, 30 Rock, most Michael Schur shows (not The Office, though)

Favourite food: Seafood. I'll eat anything that swims/scuttles/clings to the side of a boat.

Favourite animal: Cats, owls, Highland coos. My specific dog.

What were you like as a child? Smart, shy, generally well-behaved, awkward around my peers, made furious by injustice or unfairness. Basically like now, just less well-behaved.

Favourite subject at school? SCIENCE!

Least favorite subject? None, really. I was decent at math, I just lost interest once I got past Calc I.

What's your best character trait? I like to think I have a sense of personal integrity. If I think something is unethical, unfair, or unwise, I refuse as much as I can to go along with it.

What's your worst character trait? Limited patience. The above traits also can make me a little rigid, and I've had to work a LOT on not just flat out telling people I think they're wrong, I've had to work on developing a sense of compromise and diplomacy.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? UGH my commute, there's so much construction and the roads in my city were laid out so poorly that it should NOT take a long to get to/from work as it does.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Carl Sagan or Ida B. Wells.

Recommend one of your favourite fanfics (spread the love!): Shine On by @cecilysass, the whole time it was coming out I'd drop everything I was doing when a chapter dropped. One of the best Revival fics I've read. An AU, technically.

I stole most of this list from @randomfoggytiger because I'm laaaazy but participate if you like!

@baronessblixen, @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure, @welsharcher

@agent-troi, @amplifyme, @laurencem, @illaisland, @halfali3n,

@virtie333, @television-overload, @brenayla, @nachosncheezies,

@leiascully, @catharsisxf, @numinousmysteries, @frogsmulder,

@suitablyaggrieved, @loubetcha, @storybycorey, @rachg82,

@spooky-jordan, @borogirl, @jessahmewren, @skelavender,

@unremarkablehouse, @thefinalpaperheart, @redteekal,

@sigritandtheelves, @lesbianagentofnothing, @kiivitaja,

@unremarkablehouse, @freckleslikestars, @pianogirlxf,

@justice-for-queequeg, @scullysmywife, @xf-cases-solved,

@muldersfingers, @is-on-its-way, @sarie-fairy,

@lilydalexf, @thescullyphile, @teenie-xf, @touchstoneaf, @ellivia,

@trusttnno1, @settle-down-frohike, @thursdayinspace,

@sagan-starstuff, @b0oker18, @singeart, @bakedbakermom,

@slippinmickeys, @pookie-mulder, @thatfragilecapricorn30,

@deathsbestgirl, @calimanc, @goodshipsmulder, @vincentsleftear,

@aloysiavirgata, @pennyserenade, @dreamingofscully,

@xxsksxxx, @writingwell, @trans-spidey, @scullys-scalpel,@daynascullys, @precedex-files, @bakedbakermom, @msrafterdark @cecilysass

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Get to know your moots.

Thanks for the tag @almostempty and @probablyreadinsmut 💗

what's the origin of your blog title?: “When it comes to love I don’t choose sides” y'all know where it comes from, right? Oberyn 💗 it represents me well heheh

favorite fandoms: PPCU and I used to be a huge GOT fan.

OTP(s) + shipname: Braime, Jaime Lannister + Brienne of Tarth (don't talk to me about that shitty ending, it still haunts me in my sleep)

favorite color: black. But also red, white and pink.

favorite game: I don't play videogames since I was a child but I used to love Tetris and Pac-Man lol

song stuck in your head: currently Messy - Lola Young and another couple of songs I'm using for a ff I'm writing so no spoilers heheheh

weirdest habit/trait?: I have a closet full of clothes but I often tend to wear the same ones in rotation (I obviously wash them regularly 😂) out of convenience and habit, especially if I have to go to work. I only make an effort if I have dinners/birthdays/special occasions and things like that lol

And I regularly think that people hate me, so if I don't write to you often it's because I'm afraid of bothering you, not because I don't want to know you 🥲

hobbies: writing, reading, watching show/movies, I used to have a bullet journal and I used to practice hand lettering (can't keep up with it anymore but I still love it)

if you work, what's your profession?: I am the secretary in a medical office. I also have another job related to customer satisfaction.

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: I'd love to be a writer (lol not skilled or even talented enough but hey, what do you expect from someone who shares her birthday with Emily Brontë?)

something you're good at: I’m quite good at cooking. I’m Italian, baby, it’s in my genes.

something you're bad at: I’m messy. I can draw like a 5 years old kid lol

something you love: concerts. I’ve been to 100+ concerts in my life and some of my favorite memories and trips are related to concerts I've been to.

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: I could still rant about Braime and GoT ending for hours. lol Also, concerts memories, I have some good stories 😂

something you hate: Lies. God, just tell me the truth ffs. And the majority of cis men. They just suck, you know.

something you collect: nothing. But I love stationary stuff. I could buy everything, I don't do it because I would waste my savings LMAO

something you forget: If I don't write things down on my phone it's very easy for me to forget them because my memory sucks.

what's your love language?: Cooking for someone, calling people a variety of pet names and/or finding a special one for them, being a great cheerleader, shower them with compliments and love. Just being there when they need help, I am a reliable person.

favorite movie/show: too many, jeeez. How am i supposed to choose? Some movies: When Harry met Sally, Parasite, Almost Famous, Fried Green Tomatoes, Brokeback Mountains, Stand by me, Aftersun, Past Lives, Promising young woman, 10 things I hate about you, Love me if you dare, Rear window, Le conseguenze dell’amore (The consequences of love, it’s an Italian movie by Paolo Sorrentino).

Some shows: Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Friends, Fleabag, Jane the Virgin, My Brilliant Friend, When they see us, Sense8, Peaky Blinders, Mad Men, The Handmaid’s Tale, Grace and Frankie, Bojack Horseman, Normal People.

favorite food: sorry to be such an Italian clichè but pasta and pizza. I could eat them all day everyday lol I also love a good risotto, sushi and Pad Thai.

favorite animal: dogs. I love all of them but especially mine (obviously lol).

are you musical?: I can sing quite decently (I sing in in my car all the time hahahah) but I never studied music and I can’t play any instruments.

what were you like as a child?: I used to be bold and chatty, I always loved reading and writing.

favorite subject at school?: Literature and Art.

least favorite subject?: Math. I’m the worst at it.

what's your best character trait?: loyalty and respect. I never make unsolicited judgments about anyone's body or comment on it, I never ask those shitty questions like "when are you graduating, when are you getting married, why are you still single, when are you having a baby" you know, right? I hate them, I hate them deeply and I think people should mind their own fucking business.

what's your worst character trait?: Lack of self-esteem, laziness, my poor memory. And I don’t give second chances, once you hurt me you’re out of my life permanently and I totally forget about you like you meant nothing for me (I kinda love that about me but I know it can be brutal lol)

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: I wish I was damn rich and not have to work hahah I would like to be more sporty but I hate doing sports lol I promise I’m going to try to force myself to do something for my well being.

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: The first person that comes to my mind is Artemisia Gentileschi, (b: 1593 d: 1656) she was an Italian painter. Read something about her, she’s fucking great ♥️ Also, my grandpa, I loved him so much and he passed away when I was 15. I would love to meet him again.

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

I love so many so I’m going with last ones that I read and I thought WOW, this is amazing and deserves so much more attention:

Yes ma’am - @sizzlingcloudmentality

Law of attraction series - @baronessvonglitter

Pretty boy - @joelmillerisapunk

Npt: @joelmillerisapunk @milla-frenchy @baronessvonglitter @aurorawritestoescape @thundermartini @schnarfer @sizzlingcloudmentality @cvntclip @evolnoomym @msjarvis @arcanefox207 @gothcsz 💗

[rainbowberriesandcookies]

The Beauty of Rukia & Orihime's friendship and how one removal changed it all (Part 1)

Anyways I'm back on my bullshit and I'm going to try to keep my gushing about Rukia and Orihime's friendship from being RukiHime ship propaganda no promises tho.

But I firmly believe these two have one of the best friendships in a shounen manga. I absolutely hate that the OG anime gutted Orihime's relationship with Ichigo, but in doing so, it also gutted her friendship with Rukia. Even though they met through Ichigo, even with him removed from the situation, their friendship is sincere and genuine.

They've known each other for probably a month? And already have a fast and sincere friendship. Sadly, this depth is missing from the anime because they removed Orihime's scene/line of declaring that Rukia was her friend as well in a moment that established the proper basis of their friendship going forward.

Without that moment, everything else that follows loses the emotional investment behind it because their friendship is no longer between the two of them, but revolves around having Ichigo as a mutual friend.

This is going to become RukiHime ship propaganda I have no idea why I even tried to entertain it not being.

Apparently, I have so much to say on the topic it will be continued in part 2 because I refuse to use fewer manga panels to prove my agenda.

Anyways to get started

Even though there was no real reason for Orihime to remember Rukia's name when she joined Ichigo's class, she still does while Rukia doesn't even know who she is.

Even though Rukia is putting on something of an act or character, Orihime goes along with it despite the fact that the two barely even know each other.

But who knew that a bit of an awkward first meeting would have bloomed into a very wonderful and precious friendship? Sadly, we don't get too many more interactions with them beyond this point up until the point where Rukia is taken back to the Soul Society.

That said - Orihime is among one of the people who actually remember that Rukia was part of their class before everyone else suddenly forgot her.

And it would be safe to assume that the two had actually become decently good friends considering...

When Ichigo is doubting whether or not to save her, one of the things Orihime tells him is that she doesn't want her friend Rukia to die either.

Now, when Renji speaks with Rukia while she's awaiting execution, Rukia mentions having been in the human world for two months.

This establishes that within two months, Orihime was at least comfortable enough with Rukia to call her a friend and be aware that she's in a dangerous situation and needs to be helped.

And this is the pivotal moment IMO for their friendship, without it, every other scene involving them loses so much emotional weight and value because it loses a simple but foundational building block.

Now, to jump back to the cover art of Chapter 58 real quick

Rukia is drawn with the other girls in class but as a blank, missing space. It looks like Tatsuki is interacting with Chizuru, with Michiru behind Orihime and another girl with long hair (likely Ryo, but she never had a huge role - but she's the only character I could find with long hair that is part of the Karakura HS) facing away from the group.

Orihime is the only one who looks to be facing Rukia, which also matches with her also being the one who asks Ichigo what happened to her or why she had disappeared so suddenly with everyone else forgetting her.

All of this to say - despite not having a lot of panels of them interacting, it is safe to say that during Rukia's two months, she got the closest to Orihime.

And it also matches with the idea that Orihime is Rukia's first female friend.

Now, someone else has already done a pretty good write-up but I want to do more too with more focus on some of the manga panels.

The only other female character that Rukia seemed to have a close relationship with was Miyako, but even then Rukia describes Miyako as her idol rather than someone who was a friend.

The only other friends Rukia was shown to have were the street rats in Rukongai and they were all boys. However, after just 10 years the other three had passed away and it was just her and Renji left.

So it's safe to assume that up until she met Kaien, after being separated from Renji she didn't really have friends.

And even then, it's less her becoming friends with Kaien and more like an introvert being adopted by an extrovert. That said, regardless it's safe to assume that they had become close.

Kaien's words to Rukia about being her friend for life so long as she's within the 13th division, also mirror how Orihime was the first to establish a sense of friendship between the two of them - something that is lost without that initial scene.

As I mentioned earlier, it seems like all of Rukia's friendships have been with male characters. After all, it makes sense considering that she "grew up" around boys.

But things like that only make her friendship with Orihime more beautiful because she's the first girl that Rukia has actually let her guard down around. Now that I've laid down some of the basis for Rukia's past friendships, let's circle back a bit

Once again, even though they've only known each other for roughly two months at this point, Orihime Is thinking about how much Rukia is going to love the dress that Uryu made after Rukia's execution had been stopped.

When Ichigo had been avoiding Orihime because she was injured by Yammy, the person who drags him to Orihime is Rukia. Even though Chad had also been injured, IMO the reason she drags him to Orihime - outside of the fact that Kubo wanted a scene of Ichigo promising to get stronger to Orihime - is because out of the Karakura gang, Orihime is the one that she is the closest to.

WIthout Orihime having established that she and Rukia are friends, this moment and the gentle looks that they give one another don't have the same emotional weight to them because such a simple, foundational piece removed the bond that they had with one another.

Like - just look at the look that Rukia gives her and for me, this is where their friendship truly starts to get deeper than just knowing each other because of Ichigo.

And because of how Rukia interacts with Ichigo and Renji, without the establishing moment where Orihime considers Rukia a friend, the way that Rukia is so gentle with Orihime gets lost because it can come off like Rukia simply not being "close enough" or "not good friends enough" with Orihime to be that level of rough as opposed to Orihime being a friend that Rukia simply is gentle and vulnerable with.

Fast forward a little bit and a thing I noticed about Orihime when she's talking to Rangiku

The way that she describes Rukia, despite admitting to being jealous, is similar to the way that Rukia had described Miyako. At this point, Orihime's risked her life trying to save someone she had only really known for a couple of months, yet says not a single bad thing about her even when consumed with her own jealousy and insecurity.

Even though Orihime describes Rukia in a way similar to how Rukia describes Miyako, the reason she breaks down in tears is because she feels jealousy and envy towards someone she considers a friend.

Also, how pained she feels also ties back to how the one time she expressed a negative feeling or emotion towards or about someone (Sora), she ended up losing them permanently. Orihime outright says that Rukia is beautiful, and kind and that she loves her for helping to cheer up Ichigo and beats her own self up for how she feels.

Yet, without the establishment that Orihime and Rukia are friends, this scene comes off as if she's jealous of someone that is more like a total stranger who happens to be closer to Ichigo than she is - even though Rangiku states that both of them are important and valuable to Ichigo.

And after Urahara says that Orihime should call it quits because she can't fight and would only hold the others back, the person that she runs into and confines in is Rukia.

Another thing I want to note is that in all the times we've seen Rukia, she's always been fairly rough when it comes to how she handles people. After all, she's been friends with primary boys her entire life and there's only one time when she's "rough" with Orihime.

And it's when she's trying to help cheer up Orihime. But Orihime doesn't "work" the same way that Renji and Ichigo do where you can hit them like they're broken TVs. In this instance, she tries to do what she normally does with Ichigo and Renji but sees that it doesn't work - and not to mention - she's pissed off on Orihime's behalf that Urahara pretty much dismissed her after Orihime had already - from Rukia's perspective - shown that she was willing to fight and protect her friends no matter what.

After all, Orihime had only known Rukia for a couple of months at best but was still willing to risk her life not just going to help protect Ichigo, but to save Rukia as well.

When she sees that Orihime is genuine in her feelings that she'd rather be sad than a burden, this is when Rukia switches to being more gentle - and Orihime is the only person that Rukia is really this gentle with.

I said it earlier but I'm going to emphasize it again - without the establishing moment that Orihime considers Rukia a friend, the level of vulnerability that Rukia shows when she's with Orihime is lost.

Even though she has a close friendship with Ichigo and Renji, Orihime is the only one that she's been shown to express emotional vulnerability with.

And for me, this scene is so important to the value of their friendship. Sadly, because the anime removed the scene where Orihime calls Rukia her friend as well, the emotional weight behind this scene is a lot less than in the manga even though it was a minor change.

Much like how Kaien established that he and Rukia were friends for as long as she was in the division, Orihime is the one who establishes that she's friends with Rukia. While she doesn't directly say it to Rukia, her actions show that she does genuinely care for Rukia as a friend even outside of Ichigo.

This is also one of the few times we see emotional vulnerability from Rukia as well because it was the only way for the two to properly connect with one another.

In the OG anime, this scene comes off as Rukia simply offering advice to someone who is in need as opposed to her being pissed off that someone like Urahara would dismiss her friend and Rukia expressing an emotional vulnerability to someone she considers a friend.

And they resolve to train together.

While watching them train, Ukitake even mentions that Rukia was never particularly good at making friends and that she rarely opens up.

And he even mentions being glad that she's found herself a friend. It's positioned against Hisagi's doubts of "even if that friend is a human?" is it truly a good thing? Because since Orihime is a normal human girl and Rukia is a soul reaper, they'll live very different lives.

Ukitake could have said this about Ichigo, but there's a reason it's positioned with Orihime - because her kindness and compassion is what allow her to properly reach the hearts of others.

Despite the friendship they have, it implies that Rukia hasn't truly opened her heart to Ichigo the same way that she had to Orihime. Yet without the establishment that the two are friends, the friendship between the two comes off as lessened even as Ukitake comments on it.

Even when Orihime can't immediately follow, both girls are confident that they'll see each other on the other side. After all, Rukia already knew of Orihime's insecurities when it came to being left behind or unable to follow her friends, yet here there's neither insecurity or doubt for either of them.

When it is suspected that Orihime is a traitor, Ichigo is ready to call bullshit and throw hands but has to be stopped by Renji - who suggests that they'll go after her.

Here, it's Rukia who questions Yamamoto's decision to abandon Orihime after Ichigo said that there was no way Orihime would have been killed. I think choosing Rukia to question the decision to abandon Rukia as well as having her be the one to say that she can't obey that order is important. Outside of Ichigo, she's also the only one outside of Ichigo who is close to Orihime.

Even though she apologizes to Ichigo as she's taken away, she is also the only one who knows what it is like to be taken away against your will and to have those around you powerless to save you. She's the one who apologizes to Ichigo because she can't do anything to save their friend.

I fully believe that if Yamamoto hadn't taken precautions, Rukia, Renji, and Ichigo would have said to hell with orders and not just because she's Ichigo's friend and wants to help him, but because she's Orihime's friend as well.

All of those shortly after establishing that Orihime is the first friend Orihime's actually made - or at least made in a while and this is further supported by Rukia's fight with Aaroneiro.

Even as he guilts Rukia using Kaien's body, she resolves that no matter how badly he makes her feel, she won't let him kill her until she knows that Orihime is safe. As she laid impaled by Aaroneiro, she recalls a conversation she had with Kaien.

One of the things the Hueco Mundo arc has revolved around was the idea of "The heart" and what it actually means. I'd have to do a separate post on how Orihime specifically represents that, but I'm going to focus on the "heart" between Rukia and Orihime.

Kaien tells her that "The heart" exists outside of the body and that it's the bond forged between friends. All of this going on affirming that Rukia and Orihime have a "heart" AKA a bond between them.

And simply put - what does all of this mean without the establishing moment that Orihime considers Rukia a friend? It makes the care between the two come off as one-sided on Rukia's part even though in the manga, much like how Kaien did - Orihime is the one who adopted our little introvert Rukia.

Just like how Orihime didn't go to the SS just to protect Ichigo, but to save her friend. Rukia didn't come to Hueco Mundo just to support Ichigo, but because she wanted to save her friend. Yet without such a simple, but pivotal moment, it comes off as if she's not truly there for Orihime.

To be continued in part 2 because TIL Tumblr only allows 30 images per post.

[whackk-kermitt]

Dear PenPal

Prompt: Write a story that only consists of love letters. Warning: Fluff, No fire, Mention of homophobic Bullying, Mention of Bullying and Harassment, Shameless(steamy)flirting, some sexting(if you can call it that), Some Angst, happy ending Summary: Due to bullying and harassment at Beacon Hills High, the school board came up with the idea to randomly match each student with another and make them write letters talking about their experiences. At the beginning of the day, they will receive their letter, and by the end of the day have to turn in their response(Receiving a letter every other day) They've been asked to keep their letters anonymous.

Important(sort of): I saw a post where someone said high school au's portray Derek wrong because in high school Derek was completely whipped for Paige and I can't agree more. So soft mushy Derek for one, soft mushy Derek for all!!

Certain grammar mistakes are on purpose, these are handwritten letters I'm emulating here. Others. . .I'm just too lazy to proofread- I mean-THEY’RE ON PURPOSE!

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪ Dear penpal,

I honestly don't understand why I'm being made to write about bullying and shit when I'm not the issue in this hellhole school. But Mr Harris said if I don't participate he's gonna knock points off my final grade. Does that count as bullying? I think he has it out for me.

Anyway, Jackson Whittmore is a jackass, and I'm comfortable blaming him for all my problems. If this is you Jackass, your daddy's money means nothing and you're pathetic.

Apparently, we're gonna have to deal with each other all year or until the superintendent gets bored and loses all interest in this project of his. I don't see this still being enforced past a month or two.

They don't want us telling each other our names or anything. which is stupid So I need something to call you. You can call me Batman!

Sincerely, Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

It doesn't matter to me whether we're writing to penpals all year, I'm out of here soon enough anyway. But it's a half-decent idea for kids to hear about bullying and what it can do to someone behind the curtain, it opens your eyes. Really makes you think about what you say to people before you say it. Some kid in my homeroom was excused because whatever his pen pal had confessed to him made him cry so hard I thought his eyes would pop out of his head.

As for Jackson Whitt-whore, I totally agree. He's never bothered me in particular, but he's laid into some friends of mine before and I wanted to rip his throat out with my teeth. I know I have some serious issues, but that guy has ISSUES.

If we're gonna deal with each other all year, or however long this lasts we might as well have some fun with it. Right??

Tell me some things about yourself..

Sincerely, Superman (the best dc hero)

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Since um when? As cool as Superman is, batman is easily better by at least a hundred times!! Don't embarrass yourself, buddy.

Was it Greenburge?? I heard something about him crying like a baby down the hall lol

I don't know what to tell you without giving away who I am. I mean I'm pretty unnoticeable unless you know what to look for, and then I stick out like a sore thumb.

I like

comics

food

starwars

reading

reading about starwars

reading comics

the smell outside just after rain

watching garbage cop shows with my dad and making fun of all the shit they get wrong

dogs

curly fires (I mentioned food but curly fries are in their own category because they deserve it)

HATe

Jackson Whitt-whore good one

tinny annoying dogs

when I forget my clothes in the washer and they start to stink and I have to wash them again

sports (only because I SUCK) I like watching hate playing

people who think Superman is better than Batman

lack of personal space

derek hale

fake cheese ruining otherwise perfectly good nachos

What about you, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

First off, not really funny about Greenburge. I talked to him about it yesterday and the person writing to him confessed some pretty dark shit that's been said to them. Videos of them got posted online and how they get picked on in school and online by complete strangers. They mention how they were seriously depressed. (Although he does blubber like a baby, it was valid in this case.)

Second, what did Derek Hale ever do to you?

Lastly, I like:

Superman

Reading

Cooking

Basket Ball

Baseball

Comics as well

Family time

My sisters (don't tell them that)

The idea of traveling

Cats

I don't like:

People with zero work ethic

Bullies

People who hunt for sport

People who are dumb enough to think Batman outranks Superman

People who don't like sweets (can't trust them)

Dirt in between my tose

Mr Harris

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Oh shit for real about Greenburge? damn. I feel sorry for whoever wrote him that letter.

Also derek hale is a douchebag jerk face. He used to tease the hell out of me but I guess he's mellowed out this year since everyone is talking about all the bullying and shit their penpals are confessing to.

I try not to hold grudges- dad says its not good for me- but I'm gonna hold onto this one. Derek hale can suck my big toe!

also dude it sounds like you just don't like people.. fair enough I guess I don't either but damn you do have issues

-batman

p.s sorry was in a rush, forgot to write until now school gets out in 5

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Damn.

I'm gonna be out of town for a few days next week, don't sus out who I am while I'm gone.

Also yeah, I don't trust easily. You know the deal with broken hearts. Been burned too many times. But as a result, I love and hold onto people even harder now. So I guess it's a win-lose.

Are you gonna be at the game tonight? Scratch that, you won't get this until tomorrow. Hope you have fun, otherwise, enjoy whatever it is you're doing tonight.

Question: what do you wanna be when you grow up?

Sorry, I'm just trying to think of ways to get to know you better. You seem cool.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

I seem cool? I'm legit a geek with like one actual friend. People just roll their eyes when I speak I roll them back but whatevr

You wanna get to know me cause im cute ;) or . . . you want to get to know me, so you can sus me out first, huh? Well, the race is on baby!

I haven't really thought about what I wanna be, most likely something in law enforcement. Aim high how about the FBI that would be sick!!

What about you tough guy? any big plans for life?

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

I don't even know what you look like, how would I know if you're cute? You don't know what I look like, so you couldn't even say if I'm cute.

I haven't thought about it much either. Maybe I'll open a bookstore or even a bakery? I'm not sure, those are just two things I like pretty well. Might end up in the family business or as a mechanic.

It's kind of sad now that I think about it; I've never really considered what I am without my family. Whatever it turns out to be it won't be far from home, that's for sure. Hell, I'm down to be a stay-at-home dad even.

That sounds really nice.

Sincerely, Superman

P.S FBI is super cool

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

I think it's cute that you felt the need to defend yourself about thinking I'm cute. You so think I'm so cute, don't you??

I also think it's cute that you wanna be a stay-at-home dad. Not gonna lie- dads are hot. Sometimes. but like, dude-wife energy you know??

also, just an idea- might take some serious cha-ching- but if you owned your own bookstore cafe you could totally bring your little ones with you to work and it could become your very own family business

i can imagine Superman jr running around like he owned the place.

"do you know who my daddy is, he owns this place, he's Superman"

SUPERCUTE Get it??

Dumb joke never mind

if were on the topic of getting to know each other whats your deepest darkest secret??

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Sure, Batman, you're cute. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

That's a nice idea though, I like it. Maybe I'll aim for that. I wouldn't mind having my babies grow up and take over a shop I built. Definitely need that "cha-ching" though.

Deepest darkest secret? We only just met, you gotta at least buy me a drink first.

I'm a werewolf.

Your turn Batman

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

you SOOO think i'm cute!! I'll buy you a drink anywhere anywhen.

Also ha ha ha, super funny. but if you don't tell me yours I'm not telling you mine. hmm, you do have trust issues so I guess it's only gentlemanly of me to do it first- even though I'm buying you a drink at some point now.

Um I'm finding comfort in hoping you never ever know who I am when I tell you this

I've been talking to this guy and I kinda like him. We don't really know each other all that well, but from what I do know, there's nothing I don't like. But I'm not stupid enough to fall for that trap again so I'm not gonna bother

Also also “my babies” you're fucking adorable.

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone.

I know it's Friday and you won't see this until Monday but how have you been? Do you have plans over the weekend? What did you do over the weekend, I should say? I've been home the last three days so I'm itching to go out this weekend.

I'll be at the lacrosse game tonight, then I'll most likely hang out at the arcade with some friends tomorrow. Someone beat my high score on Pac-Man so I've gotta reclaim my crown.

Anyways, whats been up since I've been gone?

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Fuck you Superman

Not really sorry. I forgot you said you'd be gone for a few days and I thought for a while you ditched me.

Also, I was at the arcade on Saturday!! And just to let you know DRH your score was not hard to beat. Your crown is mine forever champ

What time were you there? What if we're were there at about the same time? Dude that's crazy! I was there at about 5ish and stayed for about two hours I think I don't really remember

-batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Screw you STI,

I left about five o'clock and had to get home for dinner, so we just missed each other. I waisted nearly three hours trying to get my high score back! I finally did it!

And what happens when I go back after your letter yesterday? You're on top again! Screw you. All that time and money for nothing.

I don't know what made you think I'd ditch you before, but now I'm considering it. You are the reason I don't have nice things.

In your wise words, “suck my big toe”!

Sincerely, Superman

P.S your initials sound like damn std

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Haha Superman

Don't be such a sourwolf.

Be humble, dude. Nobody likes a sore loser. Its not my fault I'm better then you, I'm perfect.

But hey maybe if you calm down I can give you some advice. I am perfect after all I give the best advice. And I advise you to take me up of it for the sake of your wolvly-hood.

But if you insist on being a sore loser, I could give you a massage to work out the kinks. ;)

-love yours truly, Batman 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

“Sourwolf”? Really?

I regret telling you anything.

And don't think I didn't catch that last part. I had to hold it up to the light to see what you scribbled over but I saw it.

If you're so perfect why did you scribble out the shameless flirting? Not confident, hmm? If you're so perfect, why so shy, sti?

I think it’s cute, honestly. But I don't think you could take the heat. I think if we were face-to-face you'd be puddy in my hands. I think your mind would go blank and you'd revert to caveman lingo.

“Huh” “yeah” “mhmm” and a whole lot of grunting.

You're probably so hot under the collar right now you're not even reading this anymore. You're just thinking about us grunting a whole lot. I bet it's so easy to get under your skin.

I wonder what kinds of things you're thinking right now. I wonder if you'll go all day thinking about it. I wonder what you get up to when you're finally home alone.

You'll probably reread this letter over and over won't you, sti?

Can't wait to hear from you tomorrow.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Holy shit dude

Warn a guy before you say things like that. I literally choked on air my friend thought I was having a panic attack

Jeez I don't even know what to say now

What the hell am I supposed to say?

Yeah you're probably right about when I get home tonight though, not gonna lie. Damn dude

We should meet I think..

-Batman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Holy hell, I was joking before. Wasn't expecting you to actually get hot and bothered. Thought you were just gonna roll your eyes and fuck with me.

Dude you actually touch yourself?

Like you seriously went home and I don't even know what to say cause I'm not sure if the teachers read these before passing them on. I don't wanna get into trouble.

But I kinda wanna get into trouble.

I regret nothing, hot damn.

As flattered and curious as I am about meeting you in person, I don't think I want it to be just for sex. You know? Like you seem like such a good guy, I don't wanna waste all my time with you on just that.

I want you to like me more then that.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Okay superman confession time I guess. Remember the letter I sent you before you took off? The guy I mentioned liking?

Sort kind of was you…

I said before I forgot you had mentioned not being in school for a few days, so when I never got a letter back I thought you put the very obvious pieces together and stopped writing back cause I mad it weird.

But I guess you're just ditzy cause clearly it when right over your head.

I do like you, I wanna meet you. Maybe at the arcade or something? I could show you how to actually be good at Pac-Man.

Only if you want!

-Batman

PS I DID NOT THINK ABOUT TEACHERS READING THIS OMG

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

That was me?! I didn't even adress it cause I didn't know what to say. I don't have a good track record with relationships and I didn't wanna screw anything up by getting jealous you weren't into me when we've never met.

Holy crap you have no idea how happy I am right now.

I think you're amazing. And I know we've only been talking for a month and it's been mostly banter but I really like the idea of getting to know you better. Person to person.

I’m gonna be honest though, I kind of don't want to cause I don't want you to be disappointed when you find out who I am. I don't think you like me very much outside these letters. I don't even know who you are in the slightest.

I've taken notes about you and tried to figure it out but I'm fucking clueless dude.

I'm nervous to talk new people, actually, anyone, cause I don't know if it's you want I don't wanna drive you away or give you a reason to be any more upset when you meet me.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

You are the cutest ditz I've ever not met ever. You have no idea how many times I read that letter and GIGGLED. Honestly, I kinda hate you for it now. That was embarrassing in Mr harris's class. I couldn't help it your so fucking cute I swear

I was like a 13 year old girl getting Justin Bieber's autograph. EMBERASSING

but you're sweet so I forgive you.

I'm ready to meet when you are, I don't wanna push you into something you're unsure of. But I want you to know that whatever I may have thought of you before, whatever impression I gave you to make you think I don't like you, it doesn't really matter now.

I know you well enough that I don't think any of that matters anymore.

Unless I hate you in person cause you were a total dick.

Then I think you'll have to make it up to me. ;)

I take smooches as payment for being a jerk

-Batman🖤

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

You really are something special. But do you really think it would all be swept under the rug, just because I made you giggle?

And we've talking about ouselves and our goals and everything but do you really know me well enough to make such a bold statement like that?

I wanna trust that when we meet it will be like a fucking fairytale, but fairytales are never as fun and a hell of a lot more gory in real life. I don't wanna be a downer but I don't wanna be hurt again. I've told you things about myself I've never told anyone. Things I don't trust anyone with.

I let my guard down and if you end up looking me in the eye and you can't stand what you see, then that's gonna break my heart.

Sincerely, Superman.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

I know that you're sweet. I know that you're a family man. I know you want kids and a big happy family of your own. I know you're smart, you always use basically perfect grammar and spelling. I know you're an introvert who like quiet time with friends more then parties. I know you love to cook. Not just because you told me, but because I get the feeling with you shifters that you're a total mommas boy. And mommas boys can always cook. I know you feel things with all you're heart and I bet you pour everything you have into your family and sisters. Even if you don't want them to know how much you love when they fuck with you. That's just what sibling are for- so I've heard. I know you've got enough charisma and charm that you probably have a lot of friends. But only maybe two or three of them would last long enough to be invited to your wedding someday. I know you are poetic, just based on the last few letters. I know you're funny as hell. You've made me laugh a few times. I know even though you seem like a macho sport guy your really a softy. Total hopeless romantic I bet. I know you're a geek like me, a fucking nerd too I bet. I bet you one of the top kids in class. I know my dad would love you. I know you're a werewolf. Which means if I tell you that tonight I'm gonna go to the store and find the strawberry-scented soap or perfume, what ever I can find, tomorrow you'll be able to sniff me out. You'll hear my heart when I walk into a room super nervous, knowing you'll know its me. I know that you care about me. And I know you're smiling like a little kid right now. I know you'll probably read this over and over but you won't tell a soul.

Have fun sniffing me out today, superman.

-Batman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

I know who you are. You weren't lying when you said you were perfect.

I smelled the strawberries as soon as I knew to look for them. Followed it in between classes. Kind of sent me on a wild goose chase for a bit, was late a couple times. The scent traveled everywhere, couldn't tack it. The you came into lunch, you walked right by me.

Your heart was racing just like you said it would be. It looked like you were looking for me too. I wanted to just walk over and kiss you silly.

I ran away like a fucking loser though.

Just got up and left. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I miss you though. I know you already went home. I'm staying late to right this to make sure you get this tomorrow.

I almost didn't write anything. I didn't expect you to take me seriously when I told you. Didn't expect you to believe in werewolves or to know anything about us. That kind of scared me.

I had a girlfriend before. She had no clue. When she found out, she moved. She was so afraid of me like she didn't even love me anymore. I was a monster to her all of a sudden.

But for you, you don't seem to care. You used it to help me find you. Used your scent to help me find you and you probably don't know as much as I think you might, but that sort of thing makes the wolf go crazy.

Like a hunting game of cat and mouse but without the murder and eating at the end.

Shit, Stiles, you're so perfect.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Superman,

I told you so.

But, my friend got bit. I had to sort through Hollywood bullshit and actual facts to help him not kill anyone every full moon. Honestly if I had known there were wolves in Beacon Hills other than the sick fuck that attacked him I probably would've gone to them to help him.

But he's got control over it know. Full moons are more like a girl's time of the month for him now. Don't tell him I said that. Or your sisters! When I meet them I don't want them to be pissy over it.

But I don't mind. The claws and fangs are kinda hot. Definitely not hot on my friend! Ew

But I got to thinking about that night. I kinda liked it more than I thought I would.

I'm still here superman. You can't chase me away with claws and fangs. ;)

-Batman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Warn a guy. I read that first thing this morning and I lost control for a minute. Hand to hide my claws in my jacket. You owe me a new one by the way. The pockets are fucked.

I wanna scent you so bad. You don't smell like me and it makes me uncomfortable. I wanna rap you up on my scent and leave you there until you smell more like me than yourself.

On a more serious note, I think its time I ask. I don't wanna pry but this whole thing was supposed to be about bullying anyway. How did Derek Hale tease you? It's been really bothering me since your first few letters. Why do you hate Derek Hale? I mean you don't seem, at least from your letters so far, to be harboring a serious grudge against Jackson, so what makes Derek that much worse? What did he do exactly?

I don't really remember anything that could make someone hate him as much as you do. Yet I'm biased. So, I guess I'm just concerned.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Oh dear lord you're dereks friend??? That's why you think I don't like you? Cause you hang out with that jerk? this is awful I hate you

No i dont sorry

DO NOT TELL HIM ABOUT ME AT ALL

I'm serious Superman. Please.

I was humiliated by him! I dont want to drag up anything and relive freshmen year, it was the worst. Thank god people forgot about it over the summer and it's been peaceful since.

And don't get all wolfy jelly over it, cause I'm over it. Its all you now baby.

I may have let it slip ACCIDENTLY - i talk alot, my mouth moves before my brain can tell it to shut up- that I sort of maybe had a teeny weeny little bit had a major crush on him. the next day his friends were laughing at me in the halls and there was a note in my locker calling me a fag and shit

This was back before danny made it cool to be gay.

I couldn't even muster up the balls to tell my dad what I was crying about when I got home. I spent all last year avoiding him like the plague and yet I still got mean notes in my desk and locker every now and then

like i get he probably doesn't like guys, and even if he did I'm like a fish out of water on my best days- very clumsy- not the prettiest flower in the garden but let a guy down gently you know??

I just wanna forget about him and his stupid face

-Batman xoxo

Ps I owe you a drink, jacket, Pac-Man advice and you owe me smoches. Am I forgetting anything?

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Batman,

Don't be mad. . please don't be mad. Derek says he has no clue what you're talking about. He never had any guy confess a crush on him, and he certainly didn't tell anyone about anything like that. Literally ever.

Maybe someone else overheard and they made fun of you? But I don't know, cause you never told him anything like that. Derek isn't the kind of guy to do something that fucked up. He's an ass sometimes and he knows it but he wouldn't do that.

It doesn't change the fact that you were hurt, and I'm so sorry that happened. Whoever is responsible is twisted and deserves a beating. I'll rip their throats out with me teeth, just give me the word!

Please don't be mad!

Maybe try talking to Derek? I'm absolutely certain he will wanna hear from you in person about this.

Sincerely, Superman

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

[Blank Page]

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Please, please, please talk to me! Nobody else knows about this and I swear Derek won't tell anyone. I want you to understand that Derek would never in a million years use someone's feelings like that to hurt them. He's a total pussy honestly!

He's been taken advantage of by someone he's gave his heart to, so he wouldn't do it to someone else.

I promise you with everything in me, Stiles.

Derek Hale if not that kind of guy, there's a misunderstanding somewhere. I want to understand what happened. I want to help!

Between you and me, Derek is Bi, not out to his family or literally anyone yet. He wouldn't out you like that.

Can you please tell me what happened? Spare no details.

Sincerely, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Derek wouldnt out me maybe, but you just outed him??? how the hell am I supposed to trust you after I asked you not to say anything and then you did!! THEN you outed your fucking friend.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Batman,

Yeah, I get how I fucked up there. But Derek was down for it! I let him read the letter and he told me what to say. Think of me as his wingman! He wants to know what happened just as much as I do.

Swear on my mother, Batman.

thats a weird thing to write so sincerely

Yours Truly, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Fine Superman.

First off, why didn't you just fucking drop it! I don't wanna mend anything with this guy cause I want you! Derek Hale is dead to me, a thing of the past.

But you wanna know why your friend is a dick, sure.

I was sort of his friend- kind of only because I knew Cora. It was a best friend's-other friend's-friend's-friend thing- cora being the last one. I don't know we just kind of knew each other and we were chill. and that's how we met. we talked for maybe three minutes at Cora's birthday party last year and then I literally only saw him from a distance at school. but I was whipped okay.

I mean have you seen him?? he's fucking perfect. totally unfair

We ended up in a group project though, even though he was out for the week- family emergency or whatever it was. But the group got everyone's phone numbers down to go over shit, and thats how I got his number, and we started talking- like literally every night for a good two weeks. I let it slip on night when we were going back and forth fucking with each other that I liked him

I was gonna play it off like as friends or whatever but he said he had to go and then blocked my number.

The rest is history.

Stiles out

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Stiles,

What was the phone number?? Are you sure you got the right one? Derek never got any texts like that! I swear he wouldn't do that to you. Ever. Not you.

If we can sort this out then you'd see where it all went wrong. And you won't hate him anymore.

I wanna make this right.

Sincerely yours, Superman xoxo

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dude why does this fucking matter? Its not like just because we’d potentially be a thing doesn't mean I have to be buddy buddy with all of your friends. I don't care about whatever happened between me and Derek fucking Hale. I don't give a shit about him. He's old news, loser boring basic news okay.

He's a jerk and there is no way in all his time hanging out with that asshole that called me names and beat me up, and told everyone I was a freak and a fag that he didn't catch on. He had to have known something was happening because the whole school knew it was happening. He may have not been the one to call me those names. Or break my arm and nose. He may have not been the one to tell Jackson all about how I thought he was pretty and smart or whatever I was hyped up for but he still knew I was getting shoved, jumped, and dragged through the dirt.

And just like everyone else who watched, he said NOTHING. didn't step in didn't stop it, nothing.

He may not be a bully, but he's a bystander which is so much worse Superman.

I was hurt and alone and at some point I let myself believe it was actually my fault. I don't care about Derek Hale anymore.

I don't wanna think about him.

If you wanna keep being his bud then whatever defending him and shit go ahead. I won't stop you.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Superman,

Haven't heard from you in two weeks. I've been reading your letters over and over. I miss you. I'm sorry I kind of blue up on you in that last letter.

I ended up taking a lot of things out on you that I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry. I never talked about any of that with anyone, so I kind of just bottled it up. And you poking and the damn broke. Its not your fault.

You just wanted to help, and your stupidly sweet for that.

My feelings for you haven't changed at all. I still wanna be with you, and totally school you at Pac-Man. I wanna argue over Batman VS Superman. I wanna meet you and smooch and cuddle. I wanna go home smelling like you. I want your sisters to like me. I wanna do stupid romantic shit that makes you blush and get all cute.

I want you to talk to me again.

I miss you so much.

Sincerely Yours, Stiles xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ps I guess I owe you kisses for being a jerk now

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Stiles,

You're really gonna hate me after this one.

I asked around about it. I don't hang out with those guys anymore. You were right, their fucking bullies. I don't know how I never noticed. They were always so cool and nice when I was around. But I guess you weren't their only victim. Basically, the whole school thinks those guys are assholes. And so am I by association.

You never had my number. You were taking Greenburge the whole time. He told Jackson and them about it and they said they thought they were doing me a favor.

If you hadn't been given the wrong number none of this would've happened.

Meeting you last year would've saved me from a lot of pain. You make me feel at home in my skin. I meet Paige at that party right after you. But you never seemed to notice me and Paige did.

When she saw me as I am she made me feel like a monster, I hated myself for it afterward. Still do. I felt like being born the way I am would cost me everything. Like id have to settle for someone who was just okay, because they're a wolf and they get it. Like I was robbed of being with someone as amazing as you because I was a monster.

But here you come, and you're so fucking perfect, Stiles. You make me feel whole again like I can trust my wolf again. I trust you with every part of me.

My anger, fear, loneliness, my love.

I didn't want you to know who I was while you hated my guts. I didn't want you to look at me like I don't even know. I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding before we met in person is what I'm saying. I want you to like me so bad it hurts, Stiles.

Cora made fun of me for crying when Mom put strawberries on our pancakes the other day. I didn't tell anyone about you. I couldn't. Didn't know how to think about you without feeling like shit.

I never wanted to hurt you but I did anyways. I'm so sorry sorry.

Sincerely, Derek Hale

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Dear Derek,

Saw Greenburge with a cast and broken nose. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I know you've been suspended for fighting the past few days. But I know you'll be back here today so

I just wanna forget about this. I wanna just get to the good bit where you're all over me because I'm so fucking perfect.

heres my number xxx-xxx-xxxx text me so I can actually have your number this time.

With Love, Stiles

ps meet me in the locker room during lunch so we can be alone

I'm gonna smooch you so hard ≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Part Two (Comming Soon)

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[amrass]

Fandom rant

I don't do one of these too often! But I needed to let off some steam. Things get a bit dark in here, so be warned, though it ends positively? I think? Lol, if you want to see someone work through anger through messy and abstract writing, this can be an example.

Sometimes I get so disillusioned by fandom I wonder why I'm sharing my stories as a hobby. I enjoy writing, but staying in fandom ...

It's the way the insecurity of our time has leaked into people, making it into a competitive space rather than a community, with people screaming over each other with moral posturing, while please like me, please praise me, please look at me hum in the background for anyone with sharpened ears. It's so grating. It exists in me as well, and I want it the fuck out, because it's so destructive for creativity and kindness. There's this distinct feeling of worthlessness that sucks everyone else in it like some sort of demonic soul drain. Lol

I think it's time for me not to stop writing fanfiction, but to stop sharing it, little by little. Make sure it isn't sudden like a knife coming down, but a deliberate and slow withdrawal from fandom. Really slow. I'll finish up a few projects, warn readers - not vengefully but honestly, say kindly farewell and thank readers for the interest, then leave. It's also to make it easier for myself because I'm going to miss the positive experiences a lot. I've met some cool people, with who I hope contact remains. I've gotten so much nice feedback on my fics, I'm incredibly lucky, but even in some comments (the ones that praise my work by putting other fans down) our dark times exist.

This isn't a reaction to any individual problem or person, it's just frustration that the one place I thought freaks could come and gather at (fandom), is so full of the shit from outside, even people who think they're doing good are so full of it. Insecurity (which is just the same as false confidence, which there's also a lot of) is so rampant right now, and seeing as it's a root of so much evil, it's extra tiring seeing this kind of evil in supposed allies.

At least it does put a finger on the points where the left has failed, allowing for the rise of the fascism. One can't escape the language of our time, unless one seeks out material from other times, which few will ever do. Not because of stupidity, but because they don't have time. Plus, with the added threat by AI, which I don't think anyone's going to stop using anytime soon, I feel even more disillusioned. Even if I know my writing skills are decent, artistic skills are likely to grow truly worthless, because the recipients will not have the attention span nor the interest in seeking out challenges. The flattening of culture happens here, too. There's no escape from it.

It's weird doing these kinds of rants, because usually there is an emotional outburst, and then one goes back to doing exactly what one was doing before lol. I am ranting, but I am also trying to cement my decision: to leave, slowly, without anger or bitterness. This is me letting out some of the anger and the bitterness, I suppose.

Some of it is existential, too: due to both personal matters and the rising tensions/prices/hate in the world, I don't think I'll live that long. Again, this is not a threat at all, but just ... ah, it's too personal, I'm sorry, but please don't worry: an early death is just something I have to take into consideration more so than some. It underlines how I need to ask myself if sharing fanfics takes more than it gives. I think I'd rather be actively creating with friends.

I'm reading over this now and realizing that this is honestly a pretty alright metaphor for climate change lol!!! Like, I thought I found a space "away from it all", some sort of oasis, but even in the middle of the desert climate change will prevail. It was silly of me to think of fandom as a space untouched by the outside world, but when I was 12-16 and hung out discussing Teen Titans & Hetalia fanfics and fanart with online friends, it truly felt like that because my home life was so ... different, to say the least. I guess I was chasing that feeling, no doubt warped by nostalgia, and am sad I can't find it again.

Hm. Maybe I should delete this, maybe not. Thanks for reading.

I might need to get out of here little by little. I guess people leave all the time without big fancy blocks of texts like mine, but ah, if some of it resonates, it can be worth it. 🖤

[scrollypoly]

Life Update

I've been p inactive recently, especially with original posts and talking about my fic or headcanons or stuff. I kinda just wanted to talk about what's going on and what the outlook looks like rn ^^

For the past couple of years or so, I've been struggling more with what I believe is undiagnosed ADHD and possibly even autism, as well as depression and a rebound of my anxiety. This is due to a slew of things, one of which is we moved a couple years back to a new state where we didn't know anyone at all. It was a culture shock, going from a big city to a very small town (200 people!!), and while I liked the move to a more rural and peaceful area, it's not been easy.

What's been especially difficult is finding good jobs and keeping up with my college courses. My first job put me back in the closet essentially, as I would constantly be around coworkers making hateful comments and would even go so far as to harass customers that weren't gender conforming or even just decently dressed. I went from that job to working one that completely overworked me, from being yelled at for things out of my control, working long hours, and at some points not even getting my full paycheck. I left this job only a couple months ago, and I only worked it over the summer. But it was enough to completely shred my anxiety, and I'm still working on calming myself down.

All of this, coupled with the painful death of my grandmother recently, has left me feeling pretty much isolated and alone in my area, and I have yet to find good friends that I can talk to like I had back home. I still have those friends, but the persistent exhaustion of life, trying to juggle full time work hours with online classes that are a struggle for my brain, and everything else. Last month my brain just. Broke. I had been on a persistent slide of a breakdown and I was just hanging on until I could have a break.

I finally made that break for myself. Over the holidays I visited @benilos and gave myself a break. I have my next term of classes off, and I'm gonna be using the time to use my newly acquired health insurance and get 1. Diagnoses, and 2. Medication or some got dang therapy. That's the plan for now at least.

For the past couple of years now with all of this going on, writing and drawing havent really been priorities. Right now they definitely aren't, in fact I will probably be putting my fic on ao3 on a indefinite hiatus. My brain is too much of a fried egg to be able to write it, and I've been holding guilt at being unable to write for it or update it, to the point that right now I don't feel much happiness at the prospect of writing it. I won't be abandoning it, for anyone that reads it and is worried. But it is definitely going on the back burner.

In the meantime, you may see me posting generally about my AU or benilos's AU too, since we have an official crossover. I'll be trying to drum up motivation to begin working on it, and that'll come in the general vicinity of just. Talking about my stuff. Interacting with other people in this fandom still gives me anxiety spikes, iykyk, but my inbox on my side blog, and my dms are still open as well. Things are probably just gonna be slow for a little while.

If you've commented on my fic, or reblogged or liked any of my posts or art or writings, I appreciate you so much, especially if you reblog my stuff cuz no one reblogs anything anymore lol. Thank you guys for staying around this long 💗

[burgerrat]

@hofnarrofficial said: gimme everything you got just bury me alive (only if thats possible ofc lmao)

Ok.

Turbo's favourite movie is Herbie: Fully Loaded

He has ALWAYS been flamboyant/effeminate like you see King Candy being. I hate seeing people portray Turbo as this perpetually grumpy/angry bitter person all the time all because of the revelation scene being the one 'real scene' we have of Turbo in his original form. The reason why Ralph wouldn't recognize the similar behaviour pattern is because he didn't know Turbo well enough since he rarely ever left his own game unless it was to go to Tapper's to have a root beer and brag about winning to anyone who'd listen (mainly Felix). Need a 'draw/write Turbo being silly and goofy like King Candy is' solidarity.

Contrary to popular belief, he does like the color pink- he just has a very specific preference for that particular salmon shade of pink.

Turbo and the twins all had racecar beds to sleep in back in TurboTime.

Candybug's desire to take over the entire arcade at the end of the movie is his new cy-bug coding speaking; all Turbo has ever wanted is to race again and be in the spotlight. He would struggle to control his bug instincts not just in terms of resisting beacons of light but also in terms of acting upon intrusive thoughts in general. Mix that with anger and hopelessness that he'll likely never be able to drive again in this new form and you've got the perfect recipe for disaster, because what more does he have to lose?

Do not misunderstand: I too dislike the trope of 'he's just misunderstood' since that is far from the truth, but that doesn't mean he can't have moments where you feel empathy for him (at least in my case): you are programmed to be the protagonist of your world, the best, that is your sole purpose in the life you have. You become addicted to the attention you recieve- foolishly not thinking once that it's possible that may not be the same thing tomorrow. Once that is suddenly taken away, you don't understand why- you're the best. And because you are the best, instead of processing your losses normally, you won't let go. You're instead determined to take back what was rightfully yours. By any means possible. Making the biggest mistake of your life- you kill not just your neighbors but your own home out of impulse. You are to blame for the choice you took- guilt becomes rage, rage becomes bitterness, bitterness becomes calculative; why cry over spilled milk? The damage is done, and your code is desperately crying out to do what you were made to do: race. All you can do is start anew... don't dwell on the past if you want to have the spotlight again, processing your mistake doesn't matter anyway; and so, once a new racing game is in town- you'd be frothing at the mouth to hop in after decades of isolation, wouldn't you? You'd do anything, if you were that desperate and awfully selfish.

This leads us to the following: Turbo had a mental breakdown during his years of isolation, mainly because he was unable to race; this is why he laughs and giggles no matter the mood he's in as King Candy. It's a form of tic.

This might be a bit OOC? But whatever. Hilariously enough King Candy is a somewhat decent(take that with a grain of salt, I'll elaborate in a moment) fatherly figure: he treats the SR racers like they're his adopted kids. I say somewhat decent because of course he completely excludes Vanellope and because he picks favourites; Taffyta, Rancis and Candlehead are his golden children and because of that, he's sometimes willing to swallow his pride and let them cross the finish line before him.

Taffyta is VERY competitive and sometimes will get unreasonably aggressive to win and that's something KC admires in her because it reminds him so much of himself and the bond he used to have with the Twins, especially when competing. Another reason why Taffyta bullies Vanellope is because she knows King Candy dislikes her wish to compete and she feels like this is something that would please him regardless of his approval of it.

Again maybe kind of OOC-ish but I sincerely don't think Turbo outright hates Vanellope herself like. As a person; she has done nothing, but she does pose a threat to blowing his cover and he is not going to allow her. The one thing that bothers him a lot about her is her stubborness to race and always finding a way to weasel into the Random Roster Race. During the tunnel scene where he straight up becomes violent towards her, you can tell she's never seen him this angry to her before; this leads me to believe he never blew up on her before because, regardless of how much of a threat she posed for him; in his mind- he figured she likely would never really be in a situation where she would actually cross the finish line, and she's just a child, so why bother? Of course. That is until she sprints right past him on the race track and the rest is history. (And I have to clarify again I AM NOT justifying his actions; there is no 'justifying' any of it. This is an observation because of the reactions/expressions/etc. seen in the scene.)

Writing that previous hc reminded me of this and I just had to include it because I can SO see this happening 😭 it's hilarious and wholesome in a way.

I saw something about this on @king-crawler 's blog and I feel like I should bring this up bc it rubbed me the wrong way: I donno about you but to me, Turbo programming himself as King of Sugar Rush is not ego thing (not the main reason behind it at least!); it's to avoid suspicion in general within the game because ALL of the SR racers are children. It would be suspicious and really fuckin' weird to have a character programmed as an adult that isn't an NPC/side-character like Sour Bill or the donut cops to just be among them like nothing, regardless if he wipes their memories they (or other candy subjects) will question it. He's not stupid, in the game there's supposed to be a royal figure, no? So, it'd make perfect sense for that figure to be a supposedly 'wise' King that looks after all his subjects and makes sure rules aren't broken. So to me it's less of something done out of selfishness and more of just being able to go by unnoticed, he programmed himself as King to fit in with the whole 'monarchy' concept within SR. At the end of the movie when Vanellope says she doesn't want to be a princess, you get a little glimpse of how much the candy subjects depend and rely on a 'higher figure' to function.

As King Candy, he believes himself to be cute. (adding this side note just in case bc I shit you not this is genuinely something people have argued and mocked me over: don't come at me for this. I have my opinion, you have yours and I'm not going to change it for you; as a fan for a whole decade who has known in tge past other fans, there ARE people that find him cute as I do /gen /lh) He shamelessly indulges in that and he WILL use that as a manipulation tactic to get what he wants- sometimes playing with your emotions as well by tugging at your heart strings and overall painting himself to be a 'frail silly old man' in sn exaggerated manner so you'll give in to whatever he wants- and once you agree suddenly the 'frail' old monarch has an outburst of energy and joy, completely shedding off this fragile-pitiful facade.

Turbo has somehow rescued the Turbo Twins before his game was unplugged and I have evidence to prove this:

He has their codes tucked into his own (bad example I know but kind of like how an opossum mom keeps her joeys in her pouch); he keeps them in a dormant state this way by not allowing them to have separate code boxes of their own. The reasons behind this are simple: he doesn't want two characters that very obviously don't belong in the game to roam around freely, he has enough trouble with Vanellope as it is; and he knows that if he lets them awaken and respawn, they will criticize him for the path he chose to go down- and he doesn't want to deal with that because, for him, it would be pointless and it'd only bring frustration he doesn't need. He would rather keep them as ghosts of the past hidden in his pocket.

Speaking of Vanellope: Turbo is awfully envious of her driving skills, she's the first racer that has bested him on the track. Another selfish reason why he doesn't want her to race- goodness forbid a child beating you at what you're passionate about and arriving in second place.

When overly emotional- be it positive or negative feelings- King Candy would sometimes temporarily glitch back to his original form as Turbo because his code is old, filled to the brim with stuff, it's bound to have a few crack and tears here and there, like an old but still functioning car with a rusty engine; this issue has only accentuated after the glitching-exchange during the tunnel scene.

Speaking of which- because there were little to no censorships in 70's videogames, Turbo bleeds. It's pixelated blood because it cannot be processed through the programming of Sugar Rush since the game was not made to have any graphic themes in it. If one of the racers gets hurt- they quite literally just bleed coding.

Turbo often smokes.

Turbo sometimes gets sick of eating nothing but candy and will send out Sour Bill to get him something salty to eat from another game. He has his own little stack of junk food and other non-sweets within the castle.

He's not just the King of Candy, he's THE LORD OF THE DANCE! (watch at your own risk I warn you /hj)

CURSED JOKES ASIDE I unironically like to think he is a good dancer. Nobody beats him at tap-dancing and The Bus Stop. (He's from the 70's so it'd make sense he's familiar with a lot of funky/disco dance moves)

[mdhwrites]

In your opinion does "The Owl House" have any re-watch value? Does the story, characters, characterization, writing, etc. hold up over repeated viewings or is the show played out after the first time through the series?

So I want to acknowledge that this is actually an awkward question. Not with how you phrased it or anything just... Period? Because whether something is rewatchable will mostly come down to personal taste and enjoyment. Some people find Horror movies to be great fun to rewatch while others may not see the point because you already know all the scare moments or answers to creeping dread. Some might find action movies exciting to rewatch while others need the novelty of a first rewatch. As such, my answer is very much so is going to be biased by the fact that I ended up not liking the show.

But... I broke essentially on rewatch in a way. A lot of people have shattered on TOH essentially from having to reconcile what it says versus what it does. A lot of this because TOH constantly kicks payoffs down the line and hints at potential it will reach. It is constantly making the journey suffer for the promise of a grand finale. And, well... A lot of people have agreed that the shortening did not force their hand to break multiple themes in the finale, or take Amity's character or a bunch of other things that bloated the series and never got a proper payoff, such as the Collector.

This format of TOH I think is actually what makes it so hard to rewatch unless you are the ultimate fan of it who will notice nothing. S1 is labeled as boring, a complaint I even agree with as someone who mostly likes S1 still. It spends the most time setting up plot lines though in episodes that are a pretty safe seven out of ten, or worse. Amity episodes can escape this problem decently often, being fun in their own right, but that's why the fandom only acts like half, at best, of S1 even exists. Most of it is easily forgotten because it's very forgettable. Not like in a S1 of Amphibia way where it's all so much fun but also so much of it that they can blur and be hard to separate but just in a "I just wasted 20 minutes of my life watching an okay kids cartoon" way. The only thing that helped those episodes not feel that way was this idea that it was building towards something with these characters.

And... After the shock of things like the Lumity Kiss being real, I don't think S2 holds up for being the majority of those payoffs. Amity and Willow? One of the most explicitly kicked cans? Seen interacting on the same side before either addresses the "We're not friends' thing because of Eclipse Lake, so that's pre-shortening and they still didn't decide to address and then address it badly. Luz's magic is wrapped in a plotline she's not a part of and has no real reaction to even. It's just "Oh, we're just making bullshit up now instead of finding glyphs? K." Amity's parents are wrapped up, in the same episode, early S2, in a very similar way where Amity is barely a part of that episode but now her core angst and excuse for being a bad person? Dealt with and out of the way, at least until they randomly decide to try and say Alador TOOOOOTALLY wasn't a bad guy. That he hated Odalia too. Totally doesn't contradict literally everything that came before, something that would be much more sharply noticed on a binge rewatch. Like... It cannot be understated that by the point most plot threads in TOH wrap up, they were introduced and left to rot for so long that half the time, the fandom was starting to get UPSET during the runtime for the lack of any exploration or conclusion. Long hiatuses didn't help but at its core, even when it was running people were wondering when we would get satisfying answers to thing and rarely were they happy about it.

I think this is a core part of why ONLY the shipping community seems to have clung to TOH. That or people who are exploring the show's missed potential with characters like Belos or the Blights. The fandom has had to either commit to the one thing TOH did do well, its shipping (that comes with so many fucking asterisks) and its potential baiting. But the latter also means you have to recognize why it failed in the process of doing your exploration of the work.

So will some people enjoy rewatching it? Of course. There are people who probably like rewatching the AtLA movie though because the die hards are die hards. Do I think from a casual perspective you get much out of rewatching a random episode, let alone binging the series again?

No. I just think disappointment that the main series will leave you, which will eventually no longer be tempered by the reputation of it having been shortened, will only get worse. It is not a tale worth seeing again, so I hope I see you in the next one.

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[bardoftheshire]

Hi, how are you? A fruit told me you are asking for requests??? Tangerine x Reader (female or gn neutral) having a fight and he reeeeeallly exaggerates, and must apologize, even if he hates admitting he is wrong (but he hates the thought of having hurt is partner even more)?

Ooh of course! I love writing angst, I love Angst/Comfort fics because you can go from being completely distraught one moment and then nice and happy the next.

I'm Sorry, Love

[Tangerine x GN! Reader]

[Notes; I based Tangerine more off of his character in the Novel, but it works perfectly well with his character in the movie as well.]

[Warnings; Some yelling, mentions of drinking, just overall some angst.]

Word Count: 1677

You and Tangerine were currently in your shared flat, having an argument because you complained he was never home enough; which was in fact true, but it was obviously something Tangerine didn't feel too swell about.

"I work 12 hours a day from Monday through Friday, and get payed 26£ an hour! I don't understand how you need to be away all the time for these missions, because it most certainly isn't money," You shout frustratedly, throwing your hands up into the air.

"First of all, its none of your fuckin' business, is it? But if you have to really know, I would much rather be employed with a good job, getting paid no less than at least 100,000 fuckin' pounds per mission, than work a stupid fuckin' job at a hotel!" Tangerine angrily shouts back, turning away from you as to not blow up even more.

"What the fuck do you mean by 'stupid job'? I'm just asking the reason why you're going on these dangerous fuckin' missions, when we live in a decent pay flat and I make just enough money for us to live more than just comfortably in here!" You cross your arms, now walking towards Tangerine to try and get him to look at you.

This argument had been going on for a heated 20 minutes now, and one neighbor has already knocked on your door to ask if you were alright and to quiet down.

You hadn't liked arguing at all, but it was starting to take a toll on you when Tangerine would show up from a mission bruised and cut up. You wouldn't sleep some nights or eat enough some days, worrying if him and Lemon were fine and if they would come back in one whole piece alive or delivered to you in a body bag, it scared the shit out of you.

"You know exactly what I mean by 'stupid job'! Getting fuckin' hit on almost everyday by fuckin' pricks. You complain about that shit so much, why not just fuckin' leave then? Who knows if your staying because you like all that fuckin' attention on you, maybe if you want attention all the time constantly you should try for one of those creeps instead!"

You were taken aback by what he'd just said. Yes he had some bad anger issues and he would say stuff he never meant sometimes, but it was never EVER anything like that. He had taken it way too far.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" You look up at Tangerine, who is still turned away from you.

"You know exactly what I fuckin' said, want me to repeat that for you though, love?" He says in a sarcastic nice tone, peering over his shoulder to glance at you.

"You think I like working for 12 hours? You think I like being told all of that stuff by these people? You think I like being here without you, DAYS IN A FUCKING ROW, MAY I MIND YOU!" You shout even louder, flinching slightly at your own volume.

No response. He just stood with his arms crossed, still turned away from you.

"I can't handle you right now, I want you out of my fucking flat right now. If you're not going to say anything then leave," You say, sternly.

Tangerine doesn't say anything, he just takes the key to the flat off of his key ring and places it on the table before walking out, shutting the door gently.

You were frustrated. You'd been with Tangerine for 4 years now, and no fight you two have had has ever been this bad, not to the point where he's actually left, though you can only blame yourself for that one.

After blankly staring at the door for a few seconds, you walk to the kitchen and grab the bag of takeaway leftovers from 2 nights ago from the fridge, taking it to the living room and placing it on the coffee table before sitting on the corduroy navy couch you and Tangerine bought together.

You two had moved in with each other just last year. Before that, arguments like this were never a problem, and it wasn't until your 3rd month of living together that the fights started to get worse, usually resorting to either of you sleeping on the couch for a night or two. But again, it was never this bad.

Maybe you caused it, you're the one that told him to leave, you're the one that brought up the topic right as soon as he came home from a mission, still bloody and bruised. You didn't think to wait until he was cleaned off and a little more content to approach the question more calmly to him.

He had every right to leave, and every right to be upset with you.

You sat there for about two hours, finishing the remaining leftovers, your figure slumped on the couch with the lamp lit dimly.

Suddenly you hear keys jingling into your doorknob, assuming it may be Lemon as he's the only other person except for you and Tan to have a key, though now it would just be you and Lemon at that point.

You hear a plethora of curses as the keys jingle some more before the door finally unlocks and opens.

Inside walk Lemon and Tangerine. Tangerine was slightly red in the face, presumably from drinking, whilst Lemon looked fine.

"Hey Y/n.. I hope you didn't mind me taking him here. I know you two had that fight but when I offered to take him to my place for the night when I was driving him from the bar he practically begged me to take him here or he would, 'jump out and walk on his own,' " Lemon says, closing the door and looking at Tangerine who was now standing next to him.

Tangerine had a look of sadness on his face you'd never seen before, and you suddenly felt a rush of guilt pass by, making your stomach turn in displeasure and disgust from yourself and your own behaviour.

"No I don't mind at all, I was hoping he'd come back actually.." You say, looking at the two. As soon as you say that, Tangerine's face lights up slightly, eyes slightly widened, eyebrows raised, and a small upwards curve on his lips.

"Cool, cool. Well, I'm gonna leave you two to figure it out, if Tangerine needs or wants to leave, call me so I can grab him and take him to my place alright, Y/n." Lemon says, placing a hand on Tangerine's shoulder before Tan swats it off.

Lemon then leaves, leaving you and Tangerine alone once more.

"Tan I'm so-" You say, getting up before quickly getting interjected by Tangerine.

"No, I'm sorry, love. Instead of blowing up and getting all pissy about something important you asked, I should've tried to be more patient about it." Tangerine says, a sympathetic look on his face.

"I saw that you'd just had a bad day and I proceeded to ask, and on top of that I'm the one that told you to leave. I fucked up too and I'm sorry," You say, walking towards him.

Tangerine pulls you into a tight hug. He smelled strongly of alcohol and his faded cologne, the smell of blood ever so slightly evident as he was still wearing his blood stained clothes.

You two stayed like that with each other for a while longer, just holding each other in silence, only the lamp illuminating the dark living area.

Tangerine lifts your chin up so he could look at you, placing a chaste kiss on your lips.

"Lets get to bed now, darling. I'm absolutely exhausted." He says, still holding onto you.

"You've got to take a shower first though and let me tend to those wounds you've got, I don't need you staining our sheets with your gross blood. Or maybe that was someone else's. Regardless, it's still gross." You jokingly say, playing with the lapels of his suit jacket.

"Mm, only if you join me," Tangerine says, a cheeky grin on his face.

"You're terrible, Tan.. How about some other time, you've got to get all that dry blood off, and I need to clean those stains out of your suit so it can be ready to be taken to the dry cleaners tomorrow," You sigh and walk to your shared room, Tangerine following behind.

Tangerine walks into the restroom and strips of his clothes, hopping into the shower.

You grab his bloodied garments and gently take off most of the dried blood stains out with the proper cleaning agents. After getting most of the stains out, you place Tangerine's clothes on a hanger and hang them on the laundry closet door knob, then walk back into the room.

You see Tangerine laying on the bed reading his book with the bedside lamp on, when he sees you walk in he gives a warm smile before putting his book into the nightstand drawer and turning the light off.

"Were you able to get those stains out, love?" Tangerine asks, turning on his side to face you.

"Of course I was able to, was there ever a time where I couldn't?"

"No, I suppose not. Let's get to bed now though, I'm exhausted," Tangerine says, letting a yawn out in between.

"You said that already, but I agree. One hell of a night for you, I apologise by the way," You say, snuggling yourself into his chest.

Tangerine pulls you closer, if that was even possible, and places a soft kiss to the top of your head.

"Lets not worry any longer about that, love," Tangerine says, looking at you lovingly.

You could make out the colour of his damp curls and his gorgeous blue eyes, the moonlight illuminating his face as it peaked through the sheer blue curtains on the widows.

"Alright, goodnight then, my love," You say, as Tangerine closes his eyes, with you doing the same.

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This would've been out completed if tumblr didn't bug out yesterday and delete half of my work, but it's alright I guess. I'm terribly sorry it took forever, anon, but hopefully you enjoyed it.