#well yes. but it adds charm to the design and she can hit enemies with it

[deeva-arud]

Letting Deeva live the goth dream

[sunnynwanda]

Blind or blinded: Part 2

Part 1

It was not a date. Not in the conventional sense, at least. Rather, a business meeting. 

They decided to get a coffee to avoid suspicions. After all, two adults sitting in a book cafè without any coffee or books would look weird, right? So, while Hero ordered their coffees, Villain browsed the bookshelves, picking a random book for them to have on the table.

After their disaster of a blind date, they spent two hours each lecturing Anita on the horrible mistake she had made by setting them up. She apologised, of course. Even though the knowing smile never left her eyes. 

They met two days later to discuss the results of the ‘educational work’ only to conclude that their friend didn’t seem sorry, not in the slightest. Both knew they had to retaliate in some way as punishment. This led to the third meeting, in which they designed a plan and the fourth, in which they might have celebrated the successful implementation of said plan. 

The fifth time they had come across each other was more of an accident. One that ended up with them on a rooftop, talking over politics and agreeing that the mayor needed some jail time.

Villain stops for a second, hand mid-air in front of the shelf. This was the sixth time they were meeting outside of the usual Hero vs Villain dynamic, and they hadn’t killed each other. In fact, they were able to communicate quite well. 

They notice Hero is back at their table and walk over, a heavy folio in hand. The smell of cinnamon and caramel hits their nostrils, earning a satisfied yet puzzled smirk. "You know my order?"

Why can't you just smile at me? Hero wants to ask. Instead, they run their fingertips over the cover of the book handed to them. “You know my favourite book?" 

Villain shakes their head, accepting the rules of the game. Uncomfortable questions with no answers, it is, then. Will you go out with me for real?

"What did you want to discuss?" They opt for the safer option, taking a sip of their drink. The sweet taste warms their tongue. Hero mirrors the action, drinking their double espresso, no sugar. Villain thinks only absolute lunatics can drink something so sharp and bitter with such a sweet fucking smile. Quite fitting.

"Our plans for the next two weeks," Hero says, meeting their nemesis' eye. "Or rather, the absence of those." They elaborate. Villain has to stop the cup from meeting their lips to avoid choking. 

Oh, right. It’s December 20th. 

"I remember. You and Anita demand a Christmas vacation," Villain replies, attempting to sound disdained and failing miserably. "What am I supposed to do, though?” 

Die of boredom? Another uncomfortable question Villain’d prefer unanswered and unuttered. 

"That's what I wanted to talk about, actually," Hero finds themselves unable to look at Villain, shifting slightly to face the window. For some reason, they were even more nervous now, after five full dates that did not result in murder. “Do you have any plans for our impromptu holidays?”

“Not... exactly,” Villain admits, reaching for their backpack and pulling out a book of their own. Hero offers them the most charming irritating cheerful smile, so they hurry to add before their enemy has a chance to mock them. “I’ll just spend some time on my hobby.”

“Your hobby?” Hero struggles to contain their excitement, the stupid butterflies tickling their lungs. Villain, however, seems oblivious to the glint in their eyes, going for an offended tone again.

“Yes,” they retort, indignation filling their voice. When they agreed to go on a blind date with Anita’s second best friend, they might have suspected something. They might have chosen to act clueless about her scheme. They might have even accepted the possibility of seeing something more in their archnemesis. That was one of the two things Villain would never admit to. “What’s so surprising?” 

“I’m your hobby,” Hero claims, absolutely unashamed as they stare into Villain’s increasingly pink face. “Are you gonna spend some time on me?”

“That’s not what I...” their explanation is interrupted, but Villain fails to grasp the meaning behind Hero’s short comment. Their mind wanders towards their actual hobby, which does, in fact, involve Hero. For quite sometime now. And that is the second thing they weren’t willing to admit. 

“’Cause I don’t mind,” Hero claims, leaning back in their seat and emptying their cup in one gulp. The nerves are getting the best of them while the gorgeous nincompoop sits there, looking out of this world under the cold winter light.

“...meant,” it takes Villain several moments of silence and one teasing grin from Hero to register what their opponent has said. “Wait, what?”

Their brain positively short-circuits as they stare into negative space. Hero ignores that, reaching for their book to hide their trembling fingers. That blind date was the happiest accident that was granted to them by the universe, and Hero would be damned if they let the opportunity slip out of their hands. 

“You know what?” Villain starts, and Hero is about to apologise when Villain strikes them with the most ravishing smile imaginable, rendering them speechless. “I might just do that.”

With that, Villain leans back against their chair, opening the sketchbook on their lap. They watch Hero’s flustered expression turn ecstatic in a matter of mere seconds as the wheels spin harshly in their head. Now, this is a look they’ve never captured before. 

Their pencil barely manages to touch the clean page when Hero breaths out, half-choked. “God, I’m in love with you.”

Villain’s head snaps up as they drop the sketchbook, not noticing the pencil that rolls off their lap when they lean over the table, grabbing Hero’s chin and kissing them without warning.

Anita has to bite down her palm to suppress a victorious yelp as she walks away from the cafe with a jump in her steps. “I think it’s safe to say you both owe me one. Oblivious Idiots.”

Part 1

Masterlist

[lumosandnoxwriting]

Good Girl - George Weasley

Title: Good Girl Pairing: George x female!slytherin!Reader Summary: George has been the reader’s enemy since their first year at Hogwarts together and now, in their final year the universe keeps throwing them together in ways that make the reader question why she ever hated George in the first place. Warnings: NSFW!! Slight Dom!george, begging, slight orgasm denial, thigh riding, oral (Male and female receiving), throat fucking, fingering, masturbation, unprotected sex A/N: The summary is shit but it’s an enemies to lovers slow burn. Seriously this is 22k words I lost control. This is for @those-born-to-fight​ who wanted some enemies to lovers with a Slytherin reader! There’s two different ~spicy~ scenes and the tiniest touch of angst towards the end. Feedback is always welcome, and requests are open!

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“God, do they ever just shut up?” Y/N grumbles, getting up to slam the door to her compartment closed. Adrian and Marcus laugh at her, but immediately stop when she glares at them, not wanting to face the consequences of annoying Y/N further.

There are very few things that Y/N outright hates. The list of things that mildly annoy her is quite long, but she reserves the word hate for only those special things that make her want to rip her hair out at the mere mention of them. Fred and George Weasley happen to be at the top of that list.

Like most students, Y/N had been enamored by the twins and their antics at first. Despite the fact that many of their practical jokes were aimed at members of her house and Snape, she found them quite funny. She had even thought about befriending the twins, the rivalry between their houses be damned. But after finding herself on the receiving end of a few too many Weasley practical jokes, she had begun to loathe them.

“I don’t know why you let them get under your skin,” Daphne comments, her tone dry and dull. Despite the fact that her eyes haven’t left the copy of Witch Weekly she’s flipping through, Y/N knows she’s been watching her fidget as the Weasley twins got rowdier and rowdier from their compartment down the hall.

“Because they’re, they’re,” Y/N pauses, trying to find the words to describe just how vile the Weasley Twins make her feel. “There isn’t even a word in the English dictionary that perfectly describes how insufferable they are.” She flips Adrian and Marcus off as they laugh at her frustration.

Daphne rolls her eyes and finally puts her magazine down. “You’re so dramatic, Y/N. Just drown them out like everyone else does. Take me, for example. I haven’t heard a thing either of them has said since third year.”

“That’s because they leave you alone, Daph,” Marcus drawls, coming to Y/N’s defense. This isn’t the first time the four of them have had this conversation and it surely will not be the last. “It’s kind of hard to ignore them when they send bludgers at you hard enough to knock your head off of your shoulders.”

“It’s pretty easy to knock someone’s head off of their shoulders when there isn’t anything in it, Marcus,” Daphne teases, pushing his shoulder lightly.

Adrian pretends to throw up at their behavior, causing Marcus to hit him over the head while Y/N laughs. Adrian ends up hitting Marcus back, and the boys hit at each other for a few moments while Daphne rolls her eyes and Y/N eggs them on.

“The contents of Marcus’s head aside,” Adrian says as he plops down next to Y/N, his breathing heavy from wresting Marcus to the ground. “He’s got a point, Daph. You’ve never actually been the victim of a Weasley prank. So, frankly your opinion doesn’t matter.”

Daphne flips Adrian off and picks her magazine up again. “I’m just saying. There are better things for Y/N to focus her attention on than those stupid Weasleys.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’d like to see you ignore them after they charm your shampoo to turn your hair neon yellow. It didn’t go back to normal for weeks!” Adrian laughs at the memory, and Y/N punches him in the thigh. “Watch yourself, Pucey or I’m gonna put yellow dye in your shampoo.”

“Trying to get in the shower with me, are you?” Adrian teases, throwing his arm over Y/N’s shoulder.

“In your dreams,” Y/N responds, picking up the book she had discarded after a particularly loud shout came from one of the Weasley twins.

She can feel Adrian chuckle as she leans into his side. “I’ll see you there.”

-

Y/N had almost forgotten about the Weasley twins entirely until she feels something hit her in the back of the head during dinner. She picks a piece of mashed potato out of her hair as she turns around, her eyes like daggers as she searches for the culprit. Of course, Fred and George are laughing to themselves, each of them waving at her as they make eye contact.

“Nice to see your hair back to normal, Y/N!” One of them, Fred she thinks, shouts at her.

“Yeah, I reckon if your hair had been yellow any longer you’d have to join Hufflepuff,” the other teases, causing the Gryffindors around them to laugh.

Y/N goes to stand up so she can knock the grins off of their faces, but Adrian puts his hands on her shoulders and forces her to sit back down. “It’s not worth it,” he hisses into her ear. “Not in front of all of the professors. Be smart about your revenge.”

Y/N glares at Adrian, but she relaxes, nonetheless. As much as she hates to admit it, Adrian is right. It’s only the first day back, she doesn’t need to go and get detention and lose Slytherin a bunch of points. Not yet at least.

“Hey Marcus, do me a favor and knock them off their brooms first chance you get.”

-

“You’re awfully cheery this morning,” Y/N comments to Daphne as they head up the stairs towards the Great Hall.

“What isn’t there to be cheery about? It’s the first day of the school year. Our last school year,” Daphne responds dreamily.

Y/N snorts in laughter, rolling her eyes at her best friend. “Ah yes. The hardest year of school yet, that certainly is something to be happy about.”

“Oh NEWTS? Who cares about those,” Daphne says casually as they enter the Great Hall and head towards the Slytherin table. “You don’t need good grades in school to be a good wife and mother.”

Y/N scoffs, choosing not to say anything. Unlike Daphne and most of the other girls in her house, she plans on actually having a career of her own. It is common for pureblood families to marry off their daughters to the sons of other pureblood families and often times the mark of a good pureblood girl wasn’t her brain, but her ability to stay silent, look pretty and boss around a house elf.

Thankfully, Y/N’s parents hadn’t raised her with the same values. They didn’t believe in the same archaic things most pureblood families did, and they had raised Y/N to have loftier ambitions than to be someone’s wife and a mother. Y/N’s father always joked that she had inherited her mother’s smart mouth, so it would be impossible for them to marry her off anyway.

“Just because you don’t care about your grades doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. Right, guys?” Y/N asks as they sit down, looking for both Marcus and Adrian to back her up.

“Are you guys on this again?” Adrian asks, rolling his eyes. Much like Y/N’s hatred of the Weasley twins, Daphne failing to take school seriously was a frequent topic of conversation in their friend group.

“No need to get your panties in a twist, Pucey,” Y/N teases as she grabs some toast. “Daph is free to sit back and spend her last year of school doing nothing, but I on the other hand plan on actually doing good on my NEWTS. So, feel free to slack off with her, or study with me, I don’t really care.”

Marcus chuckles at Y/N’s attitude. “Damn, Y/N tell us how you really feel.”

Y/N chucks a piece of toast at Marcus’s head before she reaches for her bag. “Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve got all of your schedules.” She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small stack of papers, handing their designated paper to each friend.

“Wow, slacking on your Head Girl duties already and it’s only the first day of term,” Adrian teases with an easy smile.

Y/N flicks his ear. “You’re just jealous that you didn’t make Head Boy.”

Adrian rolls his eyes as he scans over the piece of paper. “Me? An administrative stick in the mud? I don’t think so.”

“Nah mate, you just were looking forward to spending hours alone with Y/N,” Marcus teases, causing both Y/N and Adrian to throw pieces of muffin at him.

“Moving on,” Daphne drawls, clearly tired of their antics. “What’s everyone got first lesson? I’ve got divination.”

When both Marcus and Adrian announce they have Arithmancy, Y/N frowns. “Guess I’ll be heading to Potions alone then.”

-

As Y/N heads down to Potions after breakfast she can feel her mood sinking. Potions is one of her favorite classes, and not just because Snape tends to favor Slytherins. She finds the art of Potions fascinating, and each lesson always tests the bounds of her knowledge. But class is always more enjoyable with her friends around.

Her mood only worsens as the Weasley Twins fall into step beside her, one on each side.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here, Georgie?” the twin on the left, who is obviously Fred, says playfully.

“Looks like little Y/N is heading to potions, Freddie,” George responds, lightly knocking into her shoulder.

Y/N stumbles on the step despite the light touch. Both Fred and George have a good six inches on her, and their time as beaters on the Gryffindor team has obviously left them both toned and muscular.

“And without her little gang of friends, what a shock,” Fred adds with a laugh as Y/N finds her balance.

“Friends? What friends?,” George teases.

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Y/N glares at each of them. “You two dimwits are in NEWT level potions? Snape must have lowered his standards.”

“Oh Y/N how you wound us,” George gasps, clutching his chest.

Y/N rolls her eyes as they enter the Potions classroom, determined not to let the twins bother her. Daphne did have a point on the train yesterday, there were other things she needed to focus on besides the twins and their stupid games.

She takes her usual seat at the front of the classroom, expecting the twins to slink to the back of the class, far away from Snape’s prying eyes. Her fist automatically clenches when they slide into the seats directly behind her, her nostrils flaring.

This year certainly is going to be the hardest yet, and not just because of the rigorous coursework, Y/N thinks to herself as Snape begins class.

-

“You look, how do I put this nicely.” Marcus pauses. “Flustered.”

Y/N glares at him as she flops down next to Daphne. Potions had been an absolute disaster. She could hardly focus on her Memory Potion, too busy picking out the Jobberknoll Feathers the Weasley Twins kept putting in her hair. She had managed to make something barely acceptable, and Snape’s disappointment was evident.  

“Screw off, Marcus. I just spent an hour dealing with Dimwit 1 and Dimwit 2 standing behind me doing everything in their power to piss me off. So, unless you wanna end up with your head in one of those pots and dragon dung fertilizer up to your ears, shut your mouth.”

Daphne laughs at Y/N’s outburst. “I told you just to ignore them, Y/N. Although dragon dung fertilizer up to the ears does sound like the perfect revenge plan. Not that I’m condoning letting someone, or someones, get under your skin so badly that you need revenge,” she pauses, winking at Y/N. “But if I were I think that would be the way to go.”

Before Y/N can get too lost in the thought of burying Fred and George in Dragon Dung Professor Sprout is entering the Greenhouse and starting class. But she definitely pushes the idea to the back of her mind for future consideration.

-

“I’m going to fling myself off the top of the astronomy tower,” Y/N announces as she collapses next to Daphne in the common room. After her short break from the Weasley Twins in Herbology, Y/N had to suffer through a double transfiguration and a charms lesson with them both sitting too close for comfort.

“Could you at least wait until it’s closer to the end of term? We could probably get an extra week off at the Christmas holiday,” Adrian says, not even bothering to look up from the Quidditch playbook in his lap.

Y/N groans, putting her head in her hands. “I need better friends, none of you are sympathetic of my suffering.”

“If you need sympathy go hang out with some Hufflepuffs,” Daphne tells her, throwing her arm around Y/N’s shoulder. “What did the twins do this time?”

Instead of answering Y/N reaches for her bag and pulls out her charms book, handing it over to Daphne. “Go ahead. Try and open it.”

Daphne gives her a look as she cautiously takes it from her hands. She shares a look with Marcus and Adrian, who were finally intrigued enough to pay attention, before she slowly opens it. As soon as it falls open there’s a whizzing noise followed by loud pops as a mini firework show starts to go off. Daphne squeals and quickly shuts the book, her eyes wide.

“What in the hell was that?” she asks, tossing it back to Y/N.

“Whatever it was it was kinda cool. Open it again,” Marcus says with a laugh.

Y/N glares at him and shoves the book back in her bag. “Fred and George did something to it, obviously. It scared the shit out of me when I opened it in class. Flitwick took 30 points! 20 for the interruption it caused and 10 for the curse word I yelled.”

Adrian and Marcus erupt in a fit of hysterics as they imagine the scene it must have caused, and Y/N gets up so she can beat both of them with a pillow. They both pick up their own pillows to retaliate, and the three of them spend the next several minutes hitting each other. It only ends when a spare pillow ends up flying over and smacking Pansy Parkinson in the back of the head, causing all four of them to collapse in fits of laughter.

Y/N is the first to calm down, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes. “Oh, that was absolutely incredible. Just what I needed.” As the rest of her friends pull themselves together Y/N grabs her bag. “Come on, let’s go to dinner. I wanna catch Dimwit 1 and Dimwit 2 so I can make them fix my stupid book.”

-

When the four of them arrive at the Great Hall Daphne, Marcus and Adrian head towards the Slytherin table, while Y/N makes a beeline towards the Gryffindor table. “Oi! Weasley!” When three red heads whip around to look at Y/N she sighs. Only one of the twins is sitting at the table, and it’s a 50/50 chance she gets it right, so she decides to just take a guess at which one it is. “George!”

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” George asks as Y/N reaches the table.

She smiles to herself, proud that she had gotten it right. Y/N had never taken the time to learn the differences between the two, but now that she’s examining George she can tell that his eyes are softer, like there’s some reservation behind them. She takes out her charms textbook and places it on the table in front of him.

“Fix it,” she demands.

“Fix what?” he asks coyly, a mischievous smile on his face.

Y/N clenches her fist and takes a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. “Don’t play stupid, Weasley. Just fix my book.”

George laughs. “Who said I’m playing stupid? You’re the one that called me a dimwit earlier, and you’re right. I am a dimwit.”

Their exchange has caught the attention of the Gryffindors sitting around them, and they’re all watching Y/N intently, smiles playing at the corners of their mouths.

“Look, your stupid little prank has already served its purpose. It scared me and I lost Slytherin some points. Just fix the damn thing, will you?” Y/N is starting to get desperate, but she doesn’t let it show. She keeps her expression blank, not wanting George to know how truly bothered she is.

“I don’t know. Maybe I would be more inclined to fix it if you asked me nicely, Y/N,” his tone is teasing, so much so it almost sounds condescending. The students sitting around them laugh lightly, waiting to see what Y/N does next.

Y/N grits her teeth, weighing her options in her head. She could stand here and nicely ask George to fix her book, or she could walk away and send an owl home to have her parents send her a new one. And even though she is tempted to just take the easy way out, she’ll be damned if she lets a Weasley twin get one over on her.

She takes a deep breath and plasters a sickeningly sweet, fake smile on her face. “George, would you please fix my Charms book?”

A look of surprise quickly crosses George’s face, before he replaces it with an easy smile. “Of course, Y/N. Thank you so much for being a good girl and asking nicely.” The Gryffindor table is basically in full on hysterics by now, and Y/N can feel her cheeks heating up. As soon as George has pressed his wand to her book and muttered the countercharm she snatches it off the table.

“Thanks so much, George,” she forces out, before she turns to head over to the Slytherin table. “Fucking prick.”

She sits down between Adrian and Draco Malfoy with a huff, already trying to figure out what her revenge will be. The conversation she’d had with Marcus and Daphne in Herbology pops back into her head and a wicked smile forms on her face.

-

“Why couldn’t you get Daphne to do this? It’s freezing out here,” Adrian whispers as he shivers.

Y/N rolls her eyes as they tiptoe through the greenhouse. “And you lot call me dramatic.” They both freeze in place when they hear a creek, but when no other noise comes they continue on. “Daphne Greengrass, awake past 10 pm? Ms. Beauty sleep is a nightmare if she doesn’t get a full 8 hours, you know that.”

When they reach the container Professor Sprout keeps the Dragon Dung fertilizer in she turns to Adrian, giving him a mischievous grin. “Besides, you know you’d regret it if you didn’t come with me. Now quick, hand me the bags.”

After they get the required materials from the Greenhouse, she and Adrian quietly sneak back in the castle and head up towards the Owlery. It takes them longer than anticipated, since they have to keep ducking behind statues and into classrooms to avoid Filch and Mrs. Norris, but eventually they make it. They both sigh in relief when they return to the common room 30 minutes later, the final part of Y/N’s plan in place for the morning.

“You kind of amaze me, you know that?” Adrian says with a laugh as they both head towards the staircases that lead to their dorms.

Y/N chuckles and shakes her head. “You’re only nice to me so you don’t end up on the end of one of my revenge plans.”

-

The next morning Y/N is up bright and early, her body practically vibrating with excitement. Despite the fact that the Weasley Twins have been pulling pranks on her since first year, this is the first time she’s decided to retaliate.

She could deal with most of their antics. Locking her in the toilets, charming her shampoo, hitting her with snowballs and every other little trick or joke they pulled, Y/N could just grin and bear it. But having to stand in the middle of the Great Hall and practically beg George to fix her book was her tipping point. She can practically still hear him calling her a good girl and it causes a shiver to run down her spine. After today Fred and George will certain think twice about messing with her.

“Hurry up!” she urges her friends as she races to the top of the stairs. The owl post will be arriving in a few minutes, and there is no way she’s missing the big show. Adrian picks up his pace to meet her, but Daphne and Marcus continue up the stairs slowly, caught up in conversation. “You lot are hopeless.”

Y/N practically skips into the Great Hall and after sitting down where she knows she’ll have the perfect view of what’s about to happen she rubs her hands together. Daphne and Marcus give her a confused look as they sit down across from her and Adrian, who thankfully shares her excitement.

“What has gotten into you, Y/N, you look like you’re about to jump out of your skin,” Daphne comments, sounding slightly concerned that her friend may have gone mad.

As the first few owls start to fly in, Y/N grins and gestures towards the Gryffindor table. “Shush, shush. Just look over there and you’ll find out.”

Y/N holds her breath as two familiar owls fly in, each of them holding a package. They soar towards the Gryffindor table, and instead of gracefully dropping their parcels in front of their recipients they drop them a few moments early. The brown paper bags explode as they hit Fred and George at the same time, Dragon Dung Fertilizer pouring down their heads and onto their shoulders and laps.

The entire Great Hall is silent for a moment, before nearly every student bursts into laughter. The most noise comes from the Slytherin table, and Y/N’s chest swells with pride. Adrian pats her on the back as Daphne and Marcus turn back to congratulate her on a prank well done.

Y/N can’t stop looking at the Twins, and her breath catches in her throat when they return her gaze. She sends them both a wink and a wave, giggles still falling from her lips.

-

“You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?” George asks Y/N as he and his brother slide into the seats behind her and Daphne in Defense Against the Dark Arts that afternoon. She hasn’t seen either of them since they left the Great Hall to get cleaned up, but at lunch Astoria informed her that Ginny Weasley had told her that both boys were quite annoyed.

Y/N laughs but doesn’t turn around to look at either of them. “Nice to see you boys managed to clean up.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N,” Fred says, leaning forward in his seat to ensure Y/N hears him.

She rolls her eyes, but still doesn’t look back at them. “What? You can’t take what you dish out? I thought you two were tougher than that.” Daphne nudges Y/N, gesturing to the front of the classroom where Professor Umbridge is now standing, clearly telling her to knock it off with the twins.

“Oh, it’s on. You have no idea what you’ve started,” George whispers at her. She imagines that he’s trying to sound threatening, but she can hear the smile in his voice.

As Professor Umbridge starts rambling on about her expectations, Y/N turns to face the twins. “Bring it on, bitch.”

-

“No magic? No practical lessons? She was joking, right?” Y/N rambles as they head towards the Great Hall for dinner. They’ve all just come from a dreadful Defense Against the Dark Arts class, where Professor Umbridge had made it very clear that they’d be spending the year doing nothing but reading from their textbooks.

Daphne rolls her eyes. “Frankly I don’t see what the big deal is. She’s not wrong, our Defense Against the Dark Arts classes have been all over the place. I think it’s a good thing that we’re finally going to have some structure and unity.”

Y/N groans, looking to Adrian and Marcus for support. She frowns when they both refuse to meet her gaze. “That’s because you don’t care about doing good on your NEWTS. You don’t need an O on your exams to marry Marcus or whoever your parents have picked out for you to be with after graduation,” she spits.

Before Daphne has the chance to pick her jaw up off of the ground and respond, Y/N is turning around and heading away from her friends, needing to be alone.

-

“Are you alright?”

Y/N picks her head up from where she had buried it in her arms, surprised to see Ginny Weasley standing in front of her. She nods as she uncurls her body, stretching it out slightly. She had taken refuge on a random bench in one of the corridors and after sitting on the stone for a few hours her body has begun to ache. She moves down the bench a little and gestures for Ginny to take a seat.

While the Weasley Twins are Y/N’s least favorite people in the world, she actually doesn’t mind their siblings. She had gotten to know Percy quite well, since they had been Prefects together for a year before he had become Head Boy, and he had helped her out on quite a few transfiguration assignments during her OWL year. All she knows about Ron are the things Draco has said, but she doubts that anything that comes from his mouth is true. She’s never had a conversation with Ginny, but Daphne’s younger sister Astoria is quite friendly with her, so if she’s willing to befriend a Slytherin she’s alright in Y/N’s book.

“You seemed pretty angry earlier, before dinner. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Y/N fidgets with her school robes as her cheeks flush, she had been hoping that no one had witnessed her outburst. She had heard too often that Slytherins were mean and evil, so she always did her best to contain her emotions around others, not wanting to perpetuate the stereotype even further.

“You saw that then?” When Ginny nods she sighs. “It’s just been a frustrating few days and I love my friends, but they don’t always get it. That stupid Umbridge is really going to screw me over this year and I can’t fail now. Not when I’ve spent the last seven years working my ass off.”

“I’m really sorry, Y/N that sounds awful. There’s going to be this, thing. A meeting or whatever. Next weekend during the first Hogsmeade trip,” Ginny pauses so she can tuck a piece of parchment into her hand. “Stop by, it might be, uh helpful to you.” With a warm smile and a pat on the shoulder Ginny leaves Y/N alone.

With a heavy sigh Y/N starts to head to the common room. She uncurls the piece of paper Ginny had handed her, fearful that this might be some elaborate set up for one of her brother’s tricks.

Hogshead Inn, 12 pm, is all the paper reads in neat handwriting that Y/N doesn’t recognize. She shoves the piece of parchment into her pocket as she reaches the dungeons, trying to decide whether or not to go.

-

The rest of the week and the next pass by slowly much to Y/N’s dismay. Things between her, Marcus and Adrian returned to somewhat normal, but Daphne is still refusing to speak to her. No matter how many times Y/N apologized Daphne just kept ignoring her. The fact that the Weasley Twins were lurking behind every corner just pushed Y/N closer to the edge, so by the time Saturday arrived Y/N didn’t care if the note Ginny had slipped her the previous week was the bait for an elaborate prank. She just needed some sort of human interaction.

Due to her and Daphne’s still strained relationship and the first Slytherin Quidditch practice of the school year, Y/N is all alone as she heads to Hogsmeade. Normally she’d not even bother going if her friends didn’t accompany her, but her lack of company makes it easier for her to slip down the forgotten path that leads to the Hogshead Inn.

She looks the dim building up and down as she approaches, grimacing at its appearance. Adrian and Marcus had tried to convince her and Daphne to enter the pub with them during one of their first trips to the little village on the outskirts of Hogwarts, but the girls had overpowered them, and dragged them into Honeydukes instead.

She pauses briefly at the entrance, trying to prepare for the things that could be waiting for her on the other side. She enters through the door slowly, her eyes widening in surprise at the scene she’s met with. It certainly is not what she had expected. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are sitting in front of the unlit fireplace, with more than a dozen chairs facing them. Some are empty, while others are taken up by students that Y/N vaguely recognizes. Ginny gives her a wave when they make eye contact, motioning for her to take a seat.

Y/N sits down in a seat towards the back and fidgets with the sleeves of her jumper. She’s relaxed slightly since she entered, this clearly wasn’t some elaborate prank set up by Fred and George, but she’s still unsure of what she just walked in to.

“What are you doing here?” Comes a voice from behind her, causing Y/N’s shoulders to tense up. She turns around only to be met with Fred and George.

“Come to spy on us, Head Girl? Want to get all of our secrets and then run off to the greaseball you call Head of House to tattle on us?” Fred sneers as he and George push past her to take the seats in front of her.

Y/N rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. “Clearly I’m here for the same reasons you are, moron. If I was spying on you why would I just be sitting here out in the open?”

Truly, Y/N has no idea what she’s doing there, Ginny had been extremely vague. All she knows is that this meeting will somehow make dealing with Umbridge better, and after the awful start to term she’s had Y/N is willing to do anything at this point.

Before either Fred or George can respond, Hermione is urging everyone to take a seat so they can begin.

-

45 minutes later Y/N is standing behind Fred and George, waiting her turn to sign the paper that will make her an official member of Dumbledore’s Army. Y/N was skeptical at first about getting involved in whatever Harry and Hermione had cooked up. But as Harry talked more, about needing real, practical knowledge Y/N couldn’t help but agree. She had always been so focused on school and her future career that she never even considered what lay waiting for them outside of Hogwarts’ protective walls.

Y/N hadn’t known Cedric well. A conversation or two during Prefect duties, idle pleasantries in the hall, but that was it. But she had spent much of her summer vacation thinking about him, and about what Dumbledore had said about his death. While her friends and many of her housemates thought Dumbledore was an old crack pot, Y/N trusted and believed him. Her parents did as well, and they had talked about the first wizarding war with her over dinner on several different occasions.

As she listened to Harry talk about what he had seen and what he has already dealt with, Y/N knew that she needed to be a part of whatever he was planning. Being able to get some practice with actual defensive magic would surely help her when it came to end of the year exams, but if they truly were getting ready for another war, it may just help save her life.

As she heads back towards school, she can’t help but think about a conversation she’d had with her father not too long before the school year started again. He had reminded her that she had been placed in Slytherin house because of her ambitions in life, and her willingness to do whatever it takes to get there. Before he had kissed her goodnight he told her that it wasn’t always what you know, but who you know and that the people she surrounded herself with was just as important as focusing on her studies.

At first she had scoffed at his thinly veiled digs at her friends. Y/N has been friends with Marcus, Daphne and Adrian since first year, and she had never felt the need to expand her circle. Her parents were quite familiar with the families her friends came from, and the values they held. She knew that her parents didn’t exactly like her friends but were still supportive of Y/N and the relationship she formed with them.

But now, after seeing how badly the Daily Prophet was slandering both Dumbledore and Harry and hearing directly from Harry what he’d been through, Y/N understands what her father was saying. The Greengrass’ and Flint’s had been suspected Death Eaters all those years ago and its likely members of Adrian’s family had ties to Voldemort as well. Her father had been encouraging her to seek out new friendships to try and protect her from the Dark Arts that seemed very attractive to members of Slytherin house.

She’s so lost in thought that she doesn’t hear the Weasley Twins coming up behind her until they’re knocking into her shoulders as they pass by. She flips them off behind their backs, trying to ignore their chuckling.

“I can’t believe I just signed up to spend even more time with those twats,” she mumbles to herself as the castle comes into view. While she doesn’t mind having Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny on her side, she plans on staying as far away from the Weasley Twins as possible.

-

That night at dinner Y/N is listening to Adrian and Marcus bicker over what drills to run during their next practice when her mouth starts to tingle. Her eyes widen when she takes another sip of pumpkin juice and the sensation only gets worse. Adrian and Marcus give her a concerned look as she begins to fidget and from the corner of her eye Y/N can see that Daphne is watching as well.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Adrian asks as Y/N slaps her hands over her mouth.

Except she can’t respond. Her tongue has started to swell in her mouth so much so that it’s trying to force its way past her lips. It feels like it weighs a ton and as the pain increases she has no choice but to let it slowly seep out of her mouth.

“What’s the matter, Y/N?” she hears George shout from the Gryffindor table, causing groups of students to look over at her. She’s desperately trying to contain her growing tongue as she gets up to head to the Hospital Wing.

“Cat got your tongue?” she can hear Fred call behind her, nearly drowned out by the peeling laughter coming from the Great Hall.

-

When she gets back to the common room that night, Y/N is expecting it to be empty. But when she’s barely closed the door behind her a mess of black curls takes over her vision and arms wrap around her tightly.

“Oh, thank Merlin you’re alright. I thought you would have been back ages ago. What happened?” Daphne asks as she lets go. She leads Y/N over to a set of couches in the corner, where Adrian and Marcus are waiting for them.

Adrian pulls her down next to him and Daphne sits so close to Y/N on the other side that she’s practically in her lap. “Would you all stop fussing? I’m fine, honest,” she says with a reassuring laugh. While Y/N is fine, she can’t help but lean into Adrian’s side, feeling relieved that things are back to normal between the four of them.

“Let me guess, Weasley Twin revenge?” Marcus asks.

Y/N nods, smiling when Daphne curses them under her breath. “A creation they like to call Ton-Tongue Toffees. They must have managed to get it into my goblet or something, so it melted into my pumpkin juice. It took ages to get the swelling to go down but Madam Pomfrey managed it. I’ve just spent the last 45 minutes listening to Snape try and get the maximum punishment for them.”

Y/N knows that not many people like Snape, that it’s really only Slytherins that appreciate him. It’s no secret that he favors his house almost unfairly so, but she doesn’t really mind it when he’s advocating for them. The twins had technically poisoned her, which is something Snape had pointed out when McGonagall suggested only taking points away from the boys for a “harmless” prank. Snape had managed to negotiate on Y/N’s behalf, and the boys will now be serving a week’s detention with Snape.

“So, what are you gonna do to get back at them?” Daphne asks, causing all three of them to give her a look. “What?”

“What happened to all that crap about just ignoring them?” Marcus teases.

Daphne rolls her eyes. “To hell with all that. They want a prank war? Well then let’s show them what being a Slytherin is all about.”

-

By the time Monday morning rolls around Y/N is in such a good mood that she practically skips down the stairs to Potions. The fake Galleon Ginny had slipped her during lunch yesterday had burned red this morning, letting Y/N know that the DA’s first official meeting would be taking place this Thursday. So not only was she going to get some real defensive magic training, but after the Twin’s prank on Saturday evening her and Daphne were able to properly make up and she had her friends back.

She bites her lip as the twins fall in step beside her once again, determined not to let their presence ruin her mood.

“How’s your tongue feeling this morning?” Fred asks from her right side.

“Any bloating? Tingling? Lasting side effects?” George teases from her left side.

Y/N shakes her head and chuckles. “It’s okay boys, go ahead and make your jokes. I want you to remember how good you feel now, because once I’ve gotten you back you’ll wish you’d never messed with me.”

She can hear them both laugh as they enter the Potions class and take their respective seats. “Really? Already planning your next late-night trip into the greenhouses?” George muses.

Y/N turns in her seat so she can look each of them in the eyes. “Oh, you poor, sweet, boys,” she mocks. “When I’m done with you the dragon dung fertilizer you took to the head will seem like a shower of rose petals.” She gives them a sly wink, and turns back around, their shocked expressions still dancing around in her brain.

-

“So, you figured out what you’re going to do them, then?” Daphne asks excitedly after Y/N has finished recounting her conversation with Fred and George to her and Marcus in Herbology. Professor Sprout has tasked them with dissecting Shrivelfigs, so the three of them can talk freely. Even though her and her friends had spent most of Sunday trying to concoct the perfect revenge plan they had come up with nothing that was quite right.

“I guess you could say that.” When Marcus and Daphne give her questioning looks she giggles. “I’m not going to actually do anything to them.” When they both still look confused she rolls her eyes. “I’m just going to let them think that something big is coming. That way they’re always on edge when I’m around, always looking over their shoulders, waiting for some huge prank to befall them. It’ll drive them bonkers trying to figure out when and where it’s gonna happen.”

Marcus gives Y/N a look of appreciation. “Damn, that’s pretty brilliant, Y/N.”

Y/N bows at his praise, causing Daphne to chuckle. “What they got this morning is just a taste of what I have planned for tonight.”

-

Y/N sneaks out of the common room that night, not too long after dinner. She knows that Fred and George will be serving detention with Snape and that it’s the perfect opportunity to mess with them.

When she reaches the Potions classroom she pauses just outside the door to ensure that Snape isn’t actually still in the room with the boys. When all she can hear is the clatter of cauldrons and Fred and George’s soft voices, she decides to go for it.

“Excuse me, Professor?” Y/N asks innocently as she enters the classroom. “Oh, boys! What a treat, seeing you down in our ends this late at night.” Y/N walks further into the classroom and she can’t help but smile as the twins start to fidget.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” Fred asks, eyeing her warily.

She puts the most innocent look on her face as she can, blinking up at the two of them. “I’m looking for Professor Snape. Is he around?”

“No, he left us alone quite a bit ago,” George responds. Y/N can tell he’s trying to hide how nervous he sounds. Fred seems like the one to never back down, so Y/N switches her tactic slightly. She starts to walk closer to George and she has to bite her lip to keep the smile off her face as he tries to subtly move away from her.

“That’s a shame. I have a question I need to ask him.” Y/N leans against the table, moving that much closer to George. “Did he say when he was going to be back?”

“He didn’t,” Fred answers, making direct eye contact with Y/N. She returns his gaze, not backing down until he looks away from her.

Feeling accomplished Y/N smacks the table with her palm and stands back up. “Well I guess I’ll leave you boys to it.” She heads towards the door. “Have fun.” With one final wink she’s out the door, laughing to herself as she goes.

-

Before Y/N knows it, Thursday has already arrived. She tries her best to contain her excitement, but as the first DA meeting approaches it’s getting harder and harder. She feels bad for not telling her friends about what she’s involved in, but she knows it’s for the better. They certainly wouldn’t approve of the unofficial club, and she doesn’t want to chance that they’ll blow the whole operation in to Umbridge.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Y/N says with a wave as she heads to leave the common room. She  told the others she had some Head Girl duties to take care of so they wouldn’t try and come with her when she left.

As she heads towards the room of requirement Y/N takes the time to glance over her shoulder every once in a while to make sure no one is following her. She had been the only Slytherin in attendance at the Hogshead Inn, and she doesn’t need to be trusted even less by bringing unwanted guests with her.

When she finally enters the room of requirement it’s a bit crowded, but she can tell that not everyone has arrived yet. Ginny waves at Y/N, motioning for her to come and join her and Hermione. She’s silently thankful for her invitation so she doesn’t have to stand there by herself and goes to join the two girls.

“Hey, Ginny. Granger,” she greets them both with an awkward wave. She doesn’t know much about Hermione, again, having only heard about her from Draco. She’s had to interact with her a few times due to Hermione being a prefect, but for some odd reason she trusts Ginny, so she figures that Hermione is alright to hang out with.

“Y/N I’m really glad you decided to join. Not only is it probably helpful to have the Head Girl on our side, it’s also really nice to have some house diversity,” Hermione says with a genuine smile.

Y/N can feel her cheeks start to heat up, so she clears her throat, giving her a moment to regain her composure. “Thanks, Hermione. I never really understood it, all of the house rivalry mumbo jumbo. I’m just supposed to automatically hate you because some hat put you in one house over another? Seems silly to me.”

She hears someone scoff behind her, and she turns to see George standing behind her, his arms crossed over his chest. “What? Got a problem, Weasley?”

“That’s real big talk considering the fact that you’ve had some grudge against me and Fred since first year, Y/N,” he says, looking at her curiously.

“I don’t hate you and Fred because you’re Gryffindors,” she explains with an eye roll. “I hate you because you’re ungodly annoying.” She bites her lip, allowing herself to look him up and down. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and Y/N can’t deny that his arms look downright filthy. She had never truly looked at George, he was quieter than Fred, so he didn’t quite capture her attention like his brother had. But now that he’s standing over her, she can’t deny that he’s attractive. He is most certainly her mortal enemy, but he’s an attractive enemy at least.

“If anything, you and Fred are the ones who started our rivalry,” she continues a moment later when her eyes meet his again. “You locked me in the girl’s bathroom with Moaning Myrtle for three hours on the second day of school, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” George says with a laugh. “Forgot about that.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, turning her attention to Harry as he starts the meeting. He decides to start with something basic but effective, disarming. Y/N could disarm any witch or wizard in her sleep, but not everyone there is at the same skill level, so she’s willing to get some practice in.

They start to break up into pairs and Y/N looks around, trying to find someone, anyone to work with. Of course, George is with Fred, Ginny is already working with a Ravenclaw Y/N thinks is named Luna, and Hermione is with Ron. She ends up locking eyes with Neville Longbottom and she motions for him to come join her.

“I’ll work with you Neville.”

He gives her an appreciative smile, and as he crosses the room George nudges him. “Watch out for her Neville. You never know what she might be up to, this could all be a big ploy to take out the entire Gryffindor house.”

Y/N flips him off, giving Neville a warm smile. “Just ignore him, he’s an idiot.” They both take their stance, wands at the ready. She has heard Draco and his cronies make fun of Neville for hours on end, so she’s not really expecting much to happen.

When Neville waves his wand and shouts Expelliarmus, his own wand flies out of his hand and clatters to the floor at Y/N’s feet. His cheeks turn a bright red, and Y/N can practically feel how embarrassed he is. He looks at her expectantly, like he’s waiting for her to laugh and say something rude.

She sends him a smile and grabs his wand. “That was a really good try, Neville. The first time I tried to disarm someone I nearly blinded Professor Quirrell when my wand shot out of my hand and flew across the room,” she reassures him with a laugh. When Neville laughs too she hands him his wand back. “Here, try moving your wand like this.” She shows him the proper wand movement before she takes her place again. “Ready?”

Two hours later when Y/N is heading back towards the Slytherin common room, she feels accomplished. Neville had managed to get her wand to wiggle in her grip by the end of it, and she could tell he was proud of himself.

Y/N is thinking about all the homework she has to do tonight when someone falls into step beside her. “Alright, give it up, what’s your deal?”

She looks up at George before she examines the rest of the hallway. “Where’s your brother? I thought you two did everything together.”

“He’s down in the kitchens getting food, not that it’s any of your business,” he adds quickly. “And stop dodging the question. What’s your deal?”

She rolls her eyes and stops walking. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” George turns to face her, crossing his arms over his chest. She mirrors his stance, looking up at him.

“Don’t play stupid. You know what I’m talking about.”

Y/N sighs, rolling her eyes again. “So, what because I’m a Slytherin I can’t participate in clandestine clubs? Your sister is the one who invited me to that meeting, so go and ask her why she did it. All I did was show up. I liked what Harry said and since Umbridge isn’t doing anything to help us with NEWTS  I signed up. That’s it.”

George doesn’t respond immediately, instead he studies Y/N’s face, trying to see if she’s lying. He goes to say something when someone interrupts them.

“Mr. Weasley! Ms. Y/L/N!” They both jump as Professor McGonagall comes down the hall towards them. “What are you two doing out past curfew?” Y/N and George look to each other with a worried glance, not entirely sure what to say. “Never mind the reason, you shouldn’t be out of your common rooms at this hour. I’ll have 15 points from each of your houses and I’ll see you both in detention tomorrow evening!”

Y/N gives George one last glare before she stalks all the way back to her common room.

-

“What exactly were you doing standing in a hallway with George Weasley past curfew anyway?” Daphne asks Y/N the next day at lunch.

Daphne had just finished explaining the evening she had planned out for them when Y/N informed her that she’d be stuck in detention with George for the beginning portion of their girl’s night.

Y/N shrugs, trying to act casual. “I finished up my Head Girl stuff and was going back to the common room when I saw him sneaking around. I followed him, figuring I could catch him doing something. I confronted him and McGonagall saw us and gave us detention.”

“Maybe that was his plan all along, maybe he was trying to get you in trouble,” Daphne suggests.

“Yeah but he got in trouble too, Daph,” Y/N reminds her with a laugh.

The other girl shrugs, taking a bite of her Yorkshire pudding. “I didn’t say it was a smart plan.” Marcus and Adrian arrive then, taking their respective seats next to the girls.

“Who didn’t have a smart plan?” Marcus asks as he starts to pile food on his plate.

“George Weasley,” Y/N answers, batting away Adrian’s hand as he tries to steal her roll. “I caught him sneaking around one of the hallways after curfew and McGonagall rolled up on us and gave us detention.”

“Detention? On a Friday night? What about our hot date?” Adrian teases, making another attempt at stealing her roll.

Y/N flips him off and lets him have it. “The only hot date you’re going to have tonight is your right hand.”

-

Y/N groans as she picks up another teapot to clean. Her and George have been serving their detention in complete silence for twenty minutes and her brain feels like it’s going to mush. “Is detention always this boring?” she asks, not really expecting George to respond.

“No. But mostly because I’m usually with Fred, not you,” George replies dully.

“Oh, how you wound me, George,” she responds, mocking the tone he had used with her on the first day of term.

They work together in silence for a few minutes before George puts down the teapot he had been scrubbing and tosses his rag to the side. “So, I asked Ginny,” he says, turning to look at Y/N.

Y/N gives him a look as she turns to face him as well, discarding what she had been doing. “Asked Ginny what?”

George rolls his eyes at her, clearly annoyed that Y/N had forgotten the conversation they had in the hall the previous night. “Why she told you about the meeting at the Hogshead, about Dumbledore’s Army.”

“Oh,” she responds softly. When she had said that to George last night she hadn’t expected him to actually ask, she was just trying to get him to leave her alone. “And what did she say?” George gives her a look, causing Y/N to roll her eyes. “Fine, don’t tell me. You’re the one that brought it up.”

George chuckles at her frustration. “Aw come on, I’m just kidding.” He pauses. “She said that Astoria Greengrass talks about you a ton, about how you’re different than other Slytherins. She said something about how you got into a fight with your friends, and she decided that if she talked to you and you were cool enough, she would invite you.”

“So, I’ve got the Ginny Weasley stamp of approval? I’m honored,” she says with a laugh, her surprise evident in her tone. “Does that make me alright then? Since I’m different than other Slytherins? Whatever that means.”

George shrugs his shoulders. “I think I know what she means.” When Y/N raises an eyebrow at him he continues. “Oh, come on don’t act like you don’t know it. You’re nice.”

Y/N scoffs, lightly shoving his arm. “Slytherins being mean is just a stereotype, George. Tons of the people in my house are nice. Daphne is nice, and so are Marcus and Adrian.”

“Cut the crap, Y/N,” he chides. “Daphne, Marcus and Adrian are nice to you and the other members of your house because you all share that in common. But you’re nice to, well most people honestly. Everyone even, except maybe me and Fred. But we aren’t nice to you either, so I understand it.”

Y/N opens her mouth to respond, but George puts his hand up to stop her. “Take yesterday, for example. I saw you, with Neville. The way you made him feel better about his failure, how you encouraged him and helped him improve. Daphne or Marcus or any other Slytherin wouldn’t have done that. They’d have laughed in his face and you know it.”

“I guess you’re right,” she admits softly, a slight blush on her cheeks from George’s kind words.

“So, you’re so worried about your NEWTs that you’re willing to spend hours practicing a spell you mastered in 2nd year? Thought you were top of our class?” he teases.

Y/N plays with her fingers and fidgets in her seat. She knows the question is innocent, but it feels like George can see right into her soul. That’s he looking at all her worst fears. “I am, yeah. I need at least an Exceeds Expectations on my defense against the dark arts NEWT to be a Healer and I’ve already worked so hard, I can’t screw it up now, not when I’m this close.”

George is silent for a moment and he turns in his chair so he’s fully facing Y/N. When she does the same he speaks. “I didn’t know you want to be a healer.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Weasley. What is it you said? I’m not nice to you and you’re not nice to me. It’s always been that way.”

“Yeah I guess so,” he admits. “I never imagined you as a Healer, if I’m honest. But I think you’ll be amazing at it.”

Y/N blushes and looks down. “Thanks, I appreciate it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be, since I was a little kid. I used to pretend to Heal my dolls all the time. My parents even gave me a muggle doctors coat for Christmas once, I wore it like, every day,” she reminisces with a laugh.

George laughs along with her. “I fear that I may have seriously misjudged you, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” she asks, lightly shoving his shoulder.

George blushes and Y/N finds it endearing. “I figured you and your family were like the other pureblood Slytherin dynasties. That you cared about your grades to make you a more appealing bride or something.”

Y/N nods in understanding. “Yeah I don’t blame you on that one. That’s what most people think. My parents were raised like that and they hated it. All the stupid rules, the lack of freedom. They’re lucky, they were able to find genuine love with each other. And they’re still so in love, it’s actually pretty sickening,” she says with a laugh. “But they agreed that when they had kids they wouldn’t raise them like that. That they’d let them think for themselves, find their own way in life. It’s been so hard, not to send an owl to my dad and tell him all about Dumbledore’s Army.”

“Really? He’d approve of it?” he asks, unable to help how surprised he sounds.

“Oh yeah,” she confirms with a laugh. “He was so angry all summer, with what the Daily Prophet is saying about Harry and Dumbledore. He even not so subtly suggested that I expand my horizons, make some friendships and connections with people from other houses. I think he’d be really excited about what Harry’s doing.”

“That’s actually really cool. I guess I definitely misjudged you then.”

They both get back to work then, but Y/N doesn’t feel as awkward anymore. She’s never bothered to have an actual conversation with either of the Weasley Twins, and she is quite surprised to find that she actually really enjoyed it.

-

When Y/N and George leave the transfiguration classroom a few hours later she’s exhausted and silently thanks Merlin that she is a Witch, because cleaning the muggle way is dreadful. Despite the late hour Y/N is surprised to see that the hallway isn’t empty. Adrian and Fred are leaning up against the wall across from the transfiguration classroom a few feet apart, glaring at each other.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N asks with a soft laugh, altering both boys of their arrival.

“I wanted to make sure George was alright. You’ve been spouting about your grand revenge plan all week, I wanted to make sure you didn’t try and pull anything while you two were alone,” Fred answers, finally looking away from Adrian so he can glare at Y/N.

Y/N rolls her eyes. “I wasn’t talking to you, Weasley. I don’t care why you’re here.” When Fred flips her off she returns the gesture.

“To answer your question,” Adrian starts as he walks towards her. “I came to accompany you back to the common room. A gentleman never lets a lady walk alone at night.”

“Well then where’s this gentleman?” she teases, looking around the hallway.

Before Adrian can respond Fred laughs. “Yeah, I don’t see a lady either.” George’s laughter joins his brothers and Y/N flips them off again.

When Adrian starts to move closer to Fred, Y/N grabs his arm and pulls him into her chest. “Not here, Adrian,” she whispers. “McGonagall is right in there,” she reminds him, gesturing towards the open classroom door with her head.

“You are so lucky, weasel,” Adrian practically growls at him. Y/N wraps her arms around Adrian’s waist and starts to pull him down the hall away from Fred and George. Adrian glares at them one last time before he turns forward and wraps his arm around her shoulder. “You should have let me hit him. One good hit would have been worth a month’s detention.”

“Not this close to quidditch season it’s not. Smack a few good bludgers at him instead,” Y/N pauses and she looks up at Adrian with her best puppy dog eyes. “Piggyback ride? Please?”

Adrian sighs heavily but crouches down in front of Y/N, nonetheless. She squeals in delight, climbing onto her friend’s back. Adrian grips her thighs tightly as he stands. “Ready?” Once he feels Y/N nod he sets off towards the common room. “You’re lucky I love you, brat.”

-

When Fred and George slide into their seats behind Y/N in Potions on Monday morning they don’t say a word. When she saw them enter the room she had tensed up, just waiting for whatever snarky comment they were bound to make. So, when they take their seats without a word, Y/N can’t help but turn around to look at them.

“What’s wrong with you two?” When neither of them responds, Y/N waves her hand in front of their faces. “Hello? Earth to Nitwit 1 and Nitwit 2.” She expected her insult to get them to at least look at her, but both of their focus is on the blackboard in the front of the room. She huffs in annoyance. “Whatever be pricks. I don’t care.” She turns back around and crosses her arms, trying to convince herself that she in fact doesn’t care that they’re ignoring her.

-

“Will you stop staring at them? It’s weird,” Marcus scolds Y/N that night at dinner, kicking her shin under the table to get her attention.

Y/N kicks him back, finally tearing her attention away from Fred and George. “They’re planning something,” she insists.

Daphne rolls her eyes and throws a carrot at Y/N. “First you complain that they’re always loud and bothering you and now you’re complaining that they aren’t bothering you. Will you just give it a rest? Be thankful that they’ve finally decided to leave you alone.”

Y/N sticks her tongue out at Daphne before she takes a bite out of the carrot she had thrown at her. She knows Daphne is right, but she can’t help but be bothered that Fred and George aren’t even trying to annoy her. As much as she hates to admit it, she misses their antics. Y/N had really enjoyed George’s company during their detention and part of her had hoped that maybe their newfound acquaintanceship would have carried over once they were no longer the only people in the room.

So, she had found herself quite disappointed that he hadn’t said a word to her all day. He hadn’t even looked at her. Y/N thought she had felt his gaze on her during Charms, but when she turned around to check he was focused on Flitwick.

“Daph is right,” Adrian whispers in her ear, bringing her thoughts back to the present. “They’re finally leaving you alone, you should be happy.”

Y/N shrugs her shoulders, her gaze falling upon Fred and George once again. “I am happy,” she lies. “I just know them too well. They’re planning something big. They’re trying to throw me off.” She flips her friends off when they all groan.

“What makes you think they’re planning something?” Marcus asks. “Did something happen between you and George during detention? You didn’t say too much about it.”

Y/N bites her lip. She hadn’t said much to her friends about her detention when her and Adrian arrived back in the common room that night, just that it was mind numbingly boring. She didn’t want them to know that she had not only had a conversation with George Weasley, but she had actually enjoyed it.

“No, nothing happened. We sat there cleaning teapots for hours, McGonagall came back and she let us go,” she says with a shrug, trying to seem casual. “He didn’t even say two words to me.”

“Exactly, so chill out. Enjoy the peace,” Daphne says.

When Y/N finally collapses in her bed that night she can’t seem to fall asleep despite how tired she is. She tosses and turns, her mind wandering to George and why she’s so bothered by the sudden lack of attention she’s getting from him. Her stomach lurches, realization hitting her like a ton of bricks.

I have a crush on George Weasley.

-

Y/N spends the rest of the week avoiding both Weasley Twins. She sits as far away from them as possible, refuses to look at them and even goes as far as to hide in an empty classroom when she sees them heading towards her one afternoon. Y/N is determined to extinguish whatever positive feelings she has towards George. She’s spent the past seven years hating his guts, and she is not about to let herself reverse all of that over some stupid crush. Unfortunately for Y/N, on Saturday morning her fake Galleon burns red, letting her know that there will be another DA meeting that night.

Which is why she’s currently heading towards the Room of Requirement, her stomach a pit of dread and despair. “Get it together, Y/N,” she mutters to herself. Y/N is standing just outside the room of requirement and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down.

Y/N pulls the door open and goes to head in, but she runs smack into the chest of someone trying to leave. An involuntary squeal leaves her lips as her body tenses up, preparing itself to hit the ground. Except she doesn’t even fall. A pair of strong arms wrap around her waist and she’s pulled into the other person’s chest.

“Woah there. Watch where you’re going.”

Y/N doesn’t have to look up to know that George Weasley is holding her in his arms. She can feel her cheeks heat up and she pushes away from him, needing to get away from him as fast as possible. “I could say the same to you, Weasley,” she sneers.

Even though her tone is crude Y/N can feel her heart fluttering in her chest and her skin is tingling from his touch. She looks up at his face, letting her eyes linger on his lips for just a second. She tries not to think about what it would feel like for him to grip her waist as they kissed.

“No need to be so feisty, Y/N,” George teases, snapping Y/N out of her thoughts.

She rolls her eyes and steps aside so George can leave, Fred following close behind him. “Maybe if you weren’t trying to mow me down I wouldn’t need to be,” she responds, watching as Fred flips her off behind his back.

She watches them walk away for a moment before heading into the room of requirement. Her palms are sweaty even from that small interaction with George and Y/N tries to subtly wipe them off on her skirt as she joins Ginny, Hermione and Ron in the back of the room.

“Where are they off to?” she asks after they’ve been talking for a few minutes, not wanting to seem too interested in George’s movements.

“Filch has been sniffing around for Umbridge, she knows Harry is up to something. So, Fred and George are going to slip him something that’ll put him out of commission for few hours,” Hermione explains.

Y/N nods. Hermione had made a few complaints to both Y/N and Miles, a Ravenclaw in her year that was Head Boy, that Fred and George had been spending their free time making an array of joke products and then testing them out on first years. “Despite the fact that I have been the victim of a Weasley product, I can’t say I feel bad for Filch.”

Once Fred and George slip back into the room of requirement and give Harry a thumbs up, he starts the meeting. They’re going to continue working on disarming, and Y/N immediately searches for Neville in the crowd. Neville certainly isn’t the most talented wizard, but Y/N can tell that he’s full of determination and she likes working with him. When Harry sets them off to work Neville joins her.

“You better watch out, Y/N, I’ve been practicing,” Neville says with a laugh as they take their stances.

“Alright then, Longbottom, let’s see what you’ve got.”

-

When Y/N leaves the Room of Requirement later that night, she can still hear Neville chattering to his friends happily as they head back to Gryffindor tower. It had taken him most of the meeting, but Neville had finally managed to get her wand to fly out of her hand. She was extremely happy for him as the other members of the DA came around to congratulate him, and not just because George had pressed up against her back as he patted Neville on the shoulder.

“Sneaking away without saying Goodbye, Y/N? I’m hurt,” George scolds teasingly as he comes up behind her.

She rolls her eyes, trying to contain her excitement. “Oh, so you’re speaking to me again?” she says as he falls into step next to her. He’s standing so close that their arms almost brush, and Y/N swallows down the butterflies that come up her throat.

“Aw, did little Y/N miss me?” George teases, shoving her shoulder.

“No,” Y/N responds far too quickly, trying not to get flustered from the contact. “Just surprised that you managed to go a whole week without annoying me that’s all.”

“Uh huh. Sure, whatever you say.”

She bites her lip, trying to contain her glee. Cut it out, she scolds herself. George Weasley is nothing more than an annoying git, you do not like him.

“Why are you following me, anyway? Last I checked Gryffindor’s common room is in the other direction,” she questions as they head down towards the Great Hall.

Y/N watches George shrug out of the corner of her eye. His face is blank, but Y/N can tell that he’s nervous. “Making sure you’re not getting up to anything is all.”

“Or you’re distracting me while your brother sets up some kind of trap,” she responds.

Suddenly she feels George’s hand wrap around her wrist and he’s pulling her into a nearby broom closet. As he slams the door shut behind them Y/N can’t help but notice just how close they are. Her back is pressed up against the wall and George is standing only a few inches away, his hands on either side of her head.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Y/N demands, hoping that her voice doesn’t shake. George is towering over her, and Y/N can see the muscles on his forearms bulging in her peripheral vision. It is taking every ounce of willpower in her body to stay still.

George leans down as he chuckles and his warm breath tickles Y/N’s cheeks, causing a shiver to run down her spine. “I think what you mean to say is thank you because I just saved your ass from serving another detention with McGonagall.”

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. “McGonagall? I didn’t see-.“ Y/N’s sentence is cut short as George places his hand over her mouth to silence her. Her breathing involuntarily speeds up and she hopes that George can’t feel the blush on her cheeks. Y/N can hear footsteps approaching the broom closet and she closes her eyes in fear of being caught in such a compromising position with George.

Thankfully the footsteps disappear just as quicky as they had come and Y/N sighs in relief when George takes his hand away. “Thank you,” she mutters. Y/N can still feel the imprint of his hand on her mouth and it makes her stomach feel queasy.

“You’re welcome,” George says, sounding pleased with himself. “We should probably stay here for a moment or two longer, just to make sure she’s gone.”

Y/N nods, her head tilting back so she can look at George’s face. She examines his features closely, trying to commit them to memory. After her realization earlier in the week she had spent every moment trying not to think about George, but now that they’re standing there so close he’s the only thing she can think about.

George clears his throat suddenly, breaking Y/N from her thoughts. “We’re uh, we’re probably good to go.”

“Yeah,” she agrees softly, trying not to let the disappointment she feels seep into her voice.

George lingers a moment longer, before he pulls away and slowly opens the door to their hiding spot. Y/N watches as he checks the hallway and follows him out when the coast is clear.

“Well um. Thanks for that,” she stutters, rubbing the back of her neck. “I’ll see you around, I guess.” Y/N starts to walk away, but she pauses when George follows behind her. She turns to look at him. “What are you doing?”

“You might still be up to something. I should follow you, just to make sure,” he responds confidently.

Y/N rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anymore, not wanting her giddiness to become noticeable. They walk side by side silently with Y/N glancing at George every few steps. As they reach the landing Y/N goes to turn down the corridor that will lead her down into the dungeons when she runs smack into someone for the second time that night. Except this time, it’s much less enjoyable.

“Professor Umbridge! I am so sorry,” Y/N apologizes as she fixes her balance. She may hate the woman, but she’ll be nice to her if it’ll get her out of a detention.

“Oh Ms. Y/L/N it is quite alright,” she practically squeaks while smiling at Y/N. Y/N imagines it’s meant to seem sweet, but it looks more like an evil grin. Umbridge’s eyes suddenly narrow as she looks past Y/N at George. “Mr. Weasley! Out in the corridors past curfew again I see. That’ll be detention with me, Monday and Tuesday evening.”

Y/N can hear George sputter behind her, and she turns around, cringing at the angry look on his face. “What about Y/N?” he asks angrily. “She’s out past curfew as well!”

Umbridge tuts, moving past Y/N as she heads back towards her office. “Yes, but Ms. Y/L/N is Head Girl I’m sure she has a good reason for being out in the halls.” Umbridge puts her hand up to stop George from responding. “Now that is enough out of you, Mr. Weasley. I suggest you head back to your common room before I make your detention a whole week.”

They both watch as Umbridge walks away and when Y/N turns to look at George, he’s already watching her. “I’m really sorry about that, George,” she says quietly.

George scoffs. “Yeah whatever.” He stalks off then, and it takes everything in Y/N to not follow behind him.

-

As Y/N enters the common room her plan is to stalk off to her dorm and get in bed as quick as possible. She’s gone through a whirlwind of emotions over the past few hours and all she wants to do is fall asleep, so she doesn’t have to feel any of them. All of that changes however, since when Y/N finally steps into the common room there is music blaring and people are everywhere.

Y/N makes eye contact with Adrian across the crowd and he clumsily waves her over. She slowly makes her way through the crowd. The air is heavy and hot from all of the people and it smells of firewhiskey. When she finally reaches Adrian, he stumbles over his own feet as he pulls her closer and she notices Marcus is seated on the couch with Daphne sprawled out across his lap; all of her friends are clearly very, very drunk.

“Y/N! You made it!” Daphne yells happily when she notices Y/N’s arrival. She wobbles as she gets out of Marcus’ lap and practically falls into Y/N, giving her a tight hug.

“Someone’s having a good time,” Y/N says with a laugh. Drunk Daphne is one of Y/N’s favorite things, and it’s rare that she gets to see it. Daphne is always prim and proper. She never has a hair out of place and she rarely lets herself goof off with her friends; she’s always their voice of reason. So, when she lets loose, she really goes for it, and it always leaves Y/N in hysterics.

“Where’ve you been? Party started ages ago,” Marcus says slowly, his words slurring together. He grabs Daphne’s hands and tries to pull her into his lap, but they’re both so drunk that they end up falling over, and Daphne somehow ends up on the ground with Marcus on top of her.

Y/N and Adrian burst out in laughter, with Adrian leaning on Y/N for support. His drink sloshes in his hand, and Y/N takes it from him to avoid it spilling everywhere. She eyes his glass warily, trying to decide if she wants to join her friends in drunk land. Her plan had been to sleep away her emotions but drinking them away will work just as well.

“I guess I have some catching up to do then.” Y/N downs the entire glass in one go, her warm bed long forgotten.

A few hours and far too many glasses of Firewhiskey later the party has died down and Y/N is slumped over in the corner of the common room, cradled in a large pile of pillows that Adrian had assembled for her. Daphne and Marcus had disappeared several minutes ago, probably to make out somewhere and once they had Adrian moved from the nearby couch to join Y/N. He’s laying on his back, head in Y/N’s lap as he listens to her complain about George Weasley.

“He’s just so annoying,” she drawls, her words coming out fairly jumbled. Y/N has said the same sentence at least five times in the past 10 minutes, but she’s too drunk to remember or care. She’s been rambling on about George and every mildly annoying this he’s done since the moment they’ve met and she’s having a hard time remembering what she’s already mentioned. “And his face, don’t even get me started on his face.”

When Adrian groans she smacks him on the forehead. “Can’t you talk about something else,” he murmurs. “Anything else, please.”

Y/N smacks him on the forehead again before starting to run her fingers through his hair. It’s his only weakness and she’s hoping it’ll keep him quiet. “There is nothing else to talk about,” she says, her tone condescending. “It’s empty up here, no thoughts,” she giggles, hitting herself lightly in the head with her free hand. “No thoughts, just George Weasley and his face. His pretty, pretty face. And oh god his lips. They look so damn soft. D’you think their soft?”

Adrian hums, not really paying attention to the words coming out of Y/N’s mouth. She’d started to lightly scratch his scalp as she talked, and any ability he had to comprehend the English language disappeared. “Yeah sure, whatever.”

Y/N sighs dreamily, thinking about what it would be like to kiss George. “Bet he’s really good at it,” she muses. “And his hands,” she adds a moment later, practically moaning. “They’re so big and strong. He’s got good fingers too. Bet he knows how to use them.” Y/N rubs her thighs together involuntarily as she feels herself starting to get turned on. Y/N’s eyes start to close as the copious amount of alcohol she drank starts to catch up with her. “You wanna know something funny? I don’t hate George Weasley anymore.”

“Is that so?” Adrian mumbles, starting to drift off as well.

“Mhm,” she hums. “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.”

-

The next morning Y/N is awake far earlier than she’d like to be. Adrian’s elbow was digging into her back, and she tried to ignore it for as long as possible, but eventually she just gave up and pulled herself off of the floor.

Her head is pounding, she feels groggy and she desperately wants to crawl into her bed. But her stomach grumbles loudly and so instead of dragging her body down the staircase that would lead to her dorm, she drags herself towards the portrait hole, still in the clothes she had on yesterday.

When Y/N finally makes it to the Great Hall she practically crawls over to the Slytherin table and plops down in the first open seat. Thankfully it’s still early, so not many people are around and it’s fairly quiet. She starts to grab random food, not really caring what it is. She’s cursing herself for challenging Adrian to a drinking contest as she goes to grab the pitcher of orange juice, but a large hand beats her to it.

“George?” she asks in surprise when she looks up.

He doesn’t say anything as he fills her goblet up for her. He takes a seat across from her and fills his own goblet before he starts to pile eggs on his plate. “Yes?” he answers casually, as if he eats breakfast with Y/N every morning.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N watches George as he begins to eat, her eyes searching his face for some kind of hint of what he’s up to. George shrugs as a light laugh tumbles from his mouth.

“Eating breakfast?” he asks, gesturing to his plate like it’s obvious. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Y/N rolls her eyes playfully, watching as he grabs an apple. She watches as his fingers wrap around it and she practically drools. A tingle runs down her spine as she imagines his fingers wrapping around something else.

“Obviously I can see that you’re eating,” she says a moment later when her thoughts become PG. “I meant what are you doing sitting here. With me. At the Slytherin table.”

George smirks at her. “Why? Do I make you nervous?” His lips wrap around the apple as he takes a bite, and Y/N has to take a bite of her muffin to stop herself from moaning right there in the middle of the Great Hall.

George’s hair is ruffled from sleep, and he looks cozy in the homemade jumper he’s wearing. His eyes are soft, and his lips look even softer. Y/N is dreaming about what it would feel like to lean across the table and kiss him, when she realizes that he asked her a question.

“Not at all,” she says, her voice shaking. “It just isn’t like you, that’s all. Besides last night when you left it seemed like you were angry at me,” she trails off, her voice soft. She looks down at her plate to avoid his gaze.

“I’m sorry about that, Y/N,” George admits sheepishly. Y/N’s skin tingles when he nudges her leg with his foot under the table. She looks up to meet his gaze, instantly returning his warm smile. “It’s not your fault Umbridge is a toad.”

Y/N laughs, completely entranced by George. “I should have said something. Made up an excuse for you.” She worries her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, waving away her apology. They both just look at each other, the food on their plates long forgotten. Y/N lets her gaze wander to George’s lips again as she thinks about kissing him. She starts to involuntarily inch closer and to her surprise, George starts doing the same thing.

“Uh, Y/N?”

Y/N and George jump apart, startled by the sudden intrusion. Y/N looks over to see Astoria standing next to her, clearly surprised by what she had just witnessed. Y/N feels her cheeks heating up, and she fidgets in her seat.

“Hey, Astoria. What’s up?” Y/N asks, trying to sound casual, like her best friend’s little sister didn’t just catch her about to kiss George in the middle of the Great Hall.

“Daphne is asking for you. She’s throwing up in the dorm bathroom.”

Y/N rolls her eyes with a huff. “Of course, she is, poor girl can’t handle her alcohol.” She stands suddenly, nodding awkwardly at George. “Weasley,” she says curtly. She gives a wayward glance to Astoria before she heads for the exit, trying to walk as quickly as possible without looking like she’s running away.

-

“And you don’t remember anything?” Y/N questions Adrian as they head up to breakfast on Monday morning. After she fled the Great Hall yesterday morning she’d spent the rest of the day with Daphne going between the bathroom in their dorm and her bed, with Astoria sneaking in food for them. As she sat holding Daphne’s hair back Y/N had a chance to replay the events of Saturday night, and all of the things she had said to Adrian about George became clear to her. She was panicking all night, hoping that he didn’t remember any of what she had said.

Adrian nods. “Not a thing. Last thing I remember is you challenging me to a drinking contest. Everything after that is completely blank. Probably due to the 10 shots we took,” he says with a laugh. “I was so confused when I woke up in the common room.”

Y/N breathes a sigh of relief. She’s barely come to terms with the fact that George Weasley is no longer her mortal enemy, but someone she truly cares deeply for, so she is definitely not ready to share that with her friends.

“Why do you care so much? You confess your love for me or something?” Adrian asks as they enter the Great Hall.

Y/N lets her eyes scan the Gryffindor table, a pink blush forming on her cheeks when she spots George. He looks prim and proper in his school robes and his hair is neat. She bites her lip, imagining what it would be like to fuss up his hair with her hands with their bodies pressed together so tightly that their uniforms wrinkled. When George suddenly makes eye contact with her she looks away, bringing her attention back to Adrian.

“Nothing like that,” she insists, shoving him playfully. “I was just rambling on and on. I sounded like an idiot, most of it didn’t even make sense.”

“What didn’t make sense?” Daphne asks as Y/N and Adrian sit across from her and Marcus.  

“The things I rambled on about in Adrian’s ear on Saturday after you two disappeared,” Y/N says with a laugh. She reaches for the orange juice, a small smile appearing on her lips as it reminds her of George.

“Aw you were rambley drunk? How cute. I’m sad I missed it,” Marcus teases.

Y/N throws a grape at him. “If you weren’t so busy sucking face with Daphne, you could have witnessed it.” Marcus and Daphne both blush at that, causing Adrian and Y/N to laugh. “I don’t know why you’re laughing, Pucey. You were cuddly drunk. I ran my hand through your hair, and you were practically mewling.”

Adrian blushes and bats at Y/N’s hand as she pinches his cheek. “Thank god I don’t remember that then.”

-

Unlike last week, Y/N spends most of her time on Monday and Tuesday trying to get close to George. She heads to meals a tad earlier than her friends, hoping that he’ll join her briefly. She gets to class early, hoping that he may arrive on his own and they can talk. But every time she tries she either doesn’t happen to run into him or he’s too busy messing around with Fred to notice her presence.

“Oof. Sorry,” Y/N grunts as she runs into someone. One of the Ravenclaw Prefects is sick, so Y/N  volunteered to spend most of her Tuesday night patrolling the halls of the castle. Patrolling was one of her favorite duties as a Prefect, since it gave her time to just be by herself and think. She had let her mind wander to George, and she was in the middle of quite the raunchy daydream.

“What are you doing? Trying to mow me down?” the person asks with a chuckle.

“George, hey,” she greets airily. Y/N takes a step back so she can look up at him, a dopey smile on her face. “What are you doing out here? Kinda late, innit?”

“Maybe I’m here to see you,” he responds, causing Y/N to look away and blush. “I was serving my detention with Umbridge,” he reminds her, gesturing towards the corridor he had just come down.

She glances at her watch before looking back to him. “And she just let you out now? What did she have you do, polish all those weird cat plates?”

George chuckles. “Writing lines, actually.”

“Must have been enough to fill a book with how late it is,” she jokes as they start to walk together. George fidgets beside her, and she gives him a look. “You alright?”

George hums and absentmindedly brings a hand up to run through his hair. Y/N’s eyes widen when she notices the back of his hand is bleeding, and she grabs it before he has a chance to hide it. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” he mumbles, trying to pull his hand away.

Y/N tightens her grip, too focused on his injury to think about how perfect his hand feels in hers. “What is this, George? How did this happen?”

George sighs. “Umbridge had me use her special quill to write my lines.”

Y/N ghosts her finger over the wound, giving George an apologetic look when he winces. As she examines the wound she can make out what is it, the wound in his hand spells out ‘I must not break the rules’ in his messy handwriting. A sudden wave of rage washes over Y/N and she releases George’s hand so she can stomp towards Umbridge’s office.

“Y/N what are you doing?” George asks as he follows, though he’s pretty sure he knows that answer.

“I’m going to go give that toad a piece of my mind. That’s how she punishes people. Torture? That’s mental.”

George catches up to her quickly, and he wraps his fingers around her wrist, pulling her into his chest. He wraps his arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly against him. She breathes in his scent, wanting to just melt into his embrace. But she resists the urge and struggles against it, desperately trying to get out.

“Let me go, George,” she grumbles, wiggling in his grip.

“Absolutely not, Y/N. What good is yelling at her going to do? All that’s going to do is get you in detention as well and I’m not going to let you do that to yourself.”

Y/N wiggles against his grip for a few more moments before she gives up, her anger deflating. She relaxes in George’s arms and buries her face in his chest. She feels lightheaded as she takes slow, deep breaths, enjoying being this close to George. They stand like that for a few minutes, just enjoying being in each other’s presence, only breaking apart when they hear the door to Umbridge’s office open.

“Shit,” George whispers. He releases Y/N from his grip so he can grab her hand, intertwining their fingers. “Quick, follow me.” George leads them down the hallway and through a few different corridors before he stops in front of a tapestry.

“What are you doing?” she asks as the sound of footsteps echoes through the empty space.

George shushes her, and Y/N watches in amazement as he taps his wand to the tapestry, and it swings to the side, revealing a hole in the wall.

“Woah, this is so cool,” she comments as George pulls her in behind him. The tapestry immediately closes behind them, and George waves his wand so the torches that line the walls light up. “How do you know about this place?”

George shrugs, leaning up against the wall. “Fred and I have explored the entire castle. There isn’t a secret passageway or hidden corridor that we haven’t found.”

They stand there in silence while Y/N looks around the small passageway. She can feel George’s eyes on her and she’s doing everything she can to not return his gaze. Her body feels like it’s on fire, the feeling of George’s grip on her shoulders still fresh in her mind.

“You know if you want to spend time alone with me all you have to do is ask,” she teases a moment later, finally looking at George. She’s leaning on the wall opposite him, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She starts to fiddle with a stray string on the bottom hem of her skirt, needing to keep her hands busy to avoid wrapping them around George’s tie to pull him close. “You don’t have to keep pulling me into dark rooms.”

George looks Y/N up and down, a smirk forming on his face. “Is that so? After you practically ran away from me at breakfast on Sunday I didn’t think you’d want to be alone with me.” He sounds confident, but Y/N can tell that there’s an underlying tinge of insecurity in his voice.

Y/N frowns and pushes away from the wall so she can take a small step towards him. “I tried to catch you alone all day yesterday and today,” she says softly. “But every time I tried you were with your stupid brother.”

“Well every time I tried to catch you alone you were with your stupid friends,” he says with a chuckle, copying her frustrated tone. George takes a small step towards her, so there’s only a few feet between them.

“I’m sorry, by the way. For running away from you the other day. Astoria startled me and I panicked,” she pauses, taking another small step forward. They’re standing so close that Y/N can smell him, and her brain goes fuzzy. “I should have stayed,” she admits quietly.

George licks his lips as he takes a final small step forward. They’re now only a few centimeters apart, and he grips Y/N’s hip softly. “What would have happened?” His eyes flick down to Y/N’s lips before meeting hers again. “If you had stayed, what would have happened?”

Y/N can feel her heart pounding in her chest, and her face is warm. “I. I would have.”

But she doesn’t get to finish her sentence. George leans down and presses their lips together, kissing her sweetly as his other hand comes up to rest on her neck. Y/N feels lightheaded as her lips start to move with George’s, her arms winding around his neck. George backs them up as he deepens the kiss, pressing Y/N up against the wall. She moans as her back hits the hard stone, allowing George to lick into her mouth.

“I would have done that,” she finishes once George pulls away, her breathing heavy.

George chuckles before kissing her again briefly. “You sound so fucking hot when you moan,” he teases, kissing her again as her cheeks flush pink.

Y/N returns his kiss eagerly, letting her fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his neck as both his hands come to rest on her hips. Her brain is in overdrive, trying to process everything that’s happening. She wants to commit it all to memory, in case this is the only time it happens. She’s thinking about how good of a kisser he is, and how perfectly their mouths fit together when George pulls away.

“Bet you would sound even hotter moaning my name,” he whispers in her ear, before he starts to trail kisses down Y/N’s neck.

A soft whine leaves Y/N’s lips as she tilts her head back, giving George more room to kiss. She tugs his hair and the groan he lets out against her neck goes right to her core and arousal starts to blossom in her stomach. His grip on her hips tightens as he begins to suck a mark into her neck. “George,” she moans, her eyes fluttering closed.

Y/N can feel George smirk into her neck before he pulls away and reconnects their lips. He pushes their bodies together tighter, shoving her legs apart with one of his own. She instinctively grinds down against it to get relief from her aching pussy, causing both of them to moan lowly.

“Holy fuck, Y/N,” George growls as he breaks their kiss. He looks over her as she continues to grind against his thigh, in awe of how beautiful she is. Her face is flushed red, her lips are swollen from his kisses and breathy moans are falling from her mouth as her hips move back and forth.

Y/N tugs her bottom lip between her teeth to try and contain the noises that are creeping up her throat as she works towards her climax. Her hips move sloppily, giving her clit the perfect amount of friction against George’s muscular thigh. “Fuck,” she breathes and opens her eyes so she can gaze into his, a moan falling from her lips when she sees how dark his eyes are.

George kisses her for a brief moment, his cock starting to harden in his trousers. He craves the feeling of her lips, but the noises coming from her mouth are too intoxicating to cut off. “You look so pretty, darling, getting yourself off on my thigh.”

George’s words only turn Y/N on more and she starts to move her hips faster, desperate for her release. “George,” she moans, tugging on his hair again. “Please, please, George,” she begs.

George presses kisses to Y/N’s jaw as his grip on her hips tightens. He pulls her down harder against his thigh and smirks when she whines loudly. “What do you want darling? Hm?”

“I’m so close,” she gasps. “Please, George. Can I,” her words turn into a moan as George forces her down harder against this thigh again. Y/N can feel her climax approaching and her body feels like it’s on fire. “Please, let me come, George. Please,” she begs breathily.

George’s cock twitches in his trousers and he groans as he realizes what Y/N is begging him for. Permission. “Go on darling, come for me.”

George’s voice is husky, and as soon as the words leave his mouth Y/N’s hips stutter as she reaches her climax, George’s name falling from her mouth. She tugs his hair lightly as she comes, pleasure washing over her like a wave. George rubs her hips and presses open mouthed kisses to her jaw and neck as her hips start to slow down.

“Oh my god,” Y/N pants, resting her forehead against George’s shoulder. Her legs feel like jelly and a moan falls from her mouth when she shifts on George’s thigh and her sensitive clit rubs against her panties.

George laughs lightly and brings a hand up to stroke Y/N’s hair. “That was so fucking hot,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her temple. He removes his leg from between hers but keeps a tight grip on her hip to make sure she’s steady. “Like really fucking hot, Y/N. Holy shit.”

Y/N buries her face in George’s neck, pressing a few light kisses to his skin. “No, it was embarrassing,” she mumbles. She’d never felt the need to ask for permission to come with any of the other people she’d been intimate with, but there was something about George. Y/N felt comfortable with him, she felt safe enough to let her walls down; to be completely vulnerable to him.

“Hey, look at me,” he says softly. George waits for Y/N to pick her head up and look up at him before he continues. “You will never have anything to be embarrassed about with me. Ever.”

Instead of responding, Y/N kisses him desperately and reaches down to palm his hardening erection through his trousers. George groans into the kiss, his hips automatically rolling to meet her movements. Her lips start to kiss across his jaw and down George’s neck, nibbling lightly.

Y/N pauses her kissing so she can lean up and whisper into George’s ear. “Your turn,” she teases. George curses softly as she removes her hand from his crotch, and she places a quick kiss on his lips before she pushes him away slightly. Y/N slowly sinks down to her knees and starts to work at the button of George’s trousers.

“God you are gorgeous,” he says dreamily as he tangles his fingers in her hair.

Y/N can feel the blush creeping up her face as she undoes George’s trousers. She looks up at him as she pulls his trousers and boxers down together just enough to free his cock. Y/N slowly wraps her hand around the base of his cock, a smirk forming on her face when he groans.

George’s grip on her hair tightens as Y/N begins to slowly stroke him. “Merlin that feels good,” George moans, causing Y/N to increase her pace.

She leans forward and takes him into her mouth, her hand continuing to stroke what she can’t fit in her mouth. George is quite well endowed, and Y/N rubs her thighs together as she starts to bob her head, imaging what he’d feel like inside her.

“Such a good girl. Sucking my cock so well,” George praises. His breathing starts to get heavier as Y/N’s tongue starts to swirl around his sensitive head and when she looks up at him he has to look away to avoid coming right then and there. Y/N looks absolutely sinful with her lips wrapped around his cock, and George is sure that image will be imprinted in his brain forever.

George’s grunts echo throughout the passageway as Y/N starts to move faster, wanting George to fill her mouth with his release. She takes him down even further, gagging slightly when the tip of his cock hits the back of her throat. George uses the grip he has on Y/N’s hair to help guide her head, his hips starting to slowly meet her movement.

Y/N hums in approval and pulls her head off of his cock for a moment to catch her breath. She strokes him with her hand for a moment, her thumb circling his sensitive head. “Fuck my mouth George, please,” she begs, before swallowing him down again.

“Such a dirty girl aren’t you Y/N?” he teases as he wraps his hand in her hair, gripping it tightly. “Such a slut for my cock already, hm?” He lets out a groan as he starts to move her head on his cock, his hips meeting each stroke. “Fuck, darling. Your mouth feels amazing,” he moans, starting to fuck her mouth faster. “Good girl,” he praises as she gags around him.

Y/N can’t help but slip her hand under her skirt and into her panties, letting her index and middle finger toy with her clit. George’s cock is heavy against her tongue and his dirty words are sending shivers down her spine and into her core. She’s still sensitive from her previous orgasm, and she moans around George’s cock as drool drips down her chin. She starts to work her clit faster, her second orgasm quickly approaching.

“Getting close, darling,” he grunts. “Gonna shoot my load right into your pretty little mouth.” George watches as Y/N squirms, a wicked grin forming on his mouth. “Are you touching yourself darling?” A shiver runs down his spine and he slams his cock into the back of her throat harder when she hums around him. “Such a dirty little girl you are, Y/N.” His tone is patronizing, and it only turns Y/N on more. “Love having my cock in your mouth that much, hm?”

Y/N whines around his cock, her hips moving in time with her finger’s movements on her clit. She brings her free hand up under her shirt and bra so she can massage her breast, her fingers pinching her nipple. Her climax is building rapidly, and Y/N looks up at George her eyes full of arousal and desperation.

George bites his lip as he looks down at Y/N, knowing exactly what she needs. His strokes become shallow as his own orgasm approaches, a low moan falling from his lips. “Go on, darling. Be a good girl and come for me.”

Y/N’s whole-body shakes as she comes, her second orgasm even stronger than the first. Her lips clamp down around George’ cock even tighter, bringing him to his climax as well. He pulls her hair as he empties himself into Y/N’s mouth, her name spilling from his mouth in hard pants. She continues to toy with her clit lightly as aftershocks of pleasure continue to roll through her body.

George loosens his grip on her hair as he slowly pulls out, his mouth running dry as saliva and some of his cum dribble down Y/N’s chin. He watches as she swallows his release, his cock twitching at the sight. He tucks his cock back into his trousers, wincing as the head brushes up against the fabric. Y/N looks up at him as she wipes the drool from her chin, looking far too innocent after what just happened. Her lips are red and swollen, almost begging for him to kiss her.

He releases her hair and helps Y/N to her feet. His arms wrap around her waist and he brings their lips together. They kiss slowly and messily, both of them too tired to care. George licks into her mouth, not caring that he can taste himself on her tongue. They stand there kissing for a few minutes, only breaking apart when the need for air becomes too much.

“You think the coast is clear?” Y/N asks with a giggle, her voice hoarse.

George chuckles and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I certainly hope so, because I’m absolutely knackered and if I have to spend another minute in here with you after what just happened I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

-

Wednesday morning arrives far too quickly for Y/N’s liking. She had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but when Daphne starts to shake her awake it feels like she hadn’t even slept at all.

“Five more minutes, mum, “ she groans. Her throat feels raw and Y/N can’t help but blush as the memories of last night run through her mind. She had wanted to confess everything to George as they snuck out of the passageway, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.  As they stepped out into the empty hallway the haze of sexual tension around them broke, and when George headed off back to his dorm with nothing more than a wink and a kiss on the cheek Y/N’s stomach sank.

Y/N had felt nothing but pure joy after her and George’s activities and her heart felt as if it would beat out of her chest. She knew that she was in love with him, and after he had been so tender with her she was sure that he returned her feelings. But after he left her behind so quickly, she couldn’t help but think it had all been in her head.

“Five more minutes will turn to 10, which will turn into you missing breakfast. And you know how you get when you’re hungry, so get your ass out of bed,” Daphne scolds lightly.

Y/N groans but rolls out of bed, her heart heavy and her knees aching.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Daphne whispers to Y/N as they enter the Great Hall, gesturing towards Fred and George.

Y/N allows herself to look quickly, her heart rate increasing as her eyes pass over George. Memories of last night swim to the surface, and she swallows hard, willing them away. The twins have their heads together and they’re talking feverishly, clearly up to something. “Dunno really,” she answers, tearing her gaze away. “Probably planning their next prank or something.” Y/N and Daphne sit down with Adrian and Marcus and she grabs some toast, not really feeling up to eating.  

“So, what are you gonna do?” Daphne asks as they start to eat.

Y/N gives her a look. “What am I gonna do about what?”

Daphne rolls her eyes. “Come one, it’s been what, two weeks since the twins have done something to you? They’ve gotta be over there cooking up some grand scheme against you.”

Y/N goes to respond, but she suddenly feels sick as George’s actions over the past few days start to make sense. He wasn’t in love with her, he was trying to embarrass her? Use her? Get information on her for him and Fred to use against her? She wasn’t exactly sure, but her heart sinks into her stomach. Whatever it was it couldn’t be good.

“I think I’m gonna head to Potions early,” she says suddenly, standing up. Adrian, Marcus and Daphne give her a look.

“You haven’t even eaten anything,” Adrian says, trying to pull her back down.

She bats his hand away and gathers her bag. “I’m not really that hungry. I’ll see you guys later.”

Without another word she’s heading out of the Great Hall, her friends and George all casting her back worried glances.

-

Y/N spends all day ignoring George despite his efforts to get her to pay attention to him. He spends all of Potions throwing rolled up pieces of parchment at her back, he tries to pull faces at her all during lunch and he spends most of charms slipping her notes. It had taken all of her willpower not to let him break her down. She’s so desperately in love with him that she’s almost willing to let him break her heart just so she can be close to him again.

“Finally, I’ve been looking for you all evening.”

Y/N doesn’t look up from her Herbology assignment as George takes a seat across from her. Her friends had been giving her worried glances all day, so after a quick dinner she tucked herself away in a corner of the library to avoid the confrontation she’s sure she’d get in the common room. She had figured she’d be safe from George as well, since Y/N is sure she’s never seen him, or Fred enter the library in the seven years they’ve been at school.

“What’s going on with you?” George asks softly when she doesn’t say anything. He’d been looking forward to seeing Y/N in the morning, and after her weird behavior at breakfast he had tried everything to get her attention.

Y/N glances at George quickly before she turns back to her assignment. “I could say the same to you,” she says coldly. When George doesn’t say anything Y/N sighs and puts her quill down, finally looking at George fully. “What were you and Fred talking about this morning? During breakfast.”

George taps his fingers against the table, his eyes starting deeply into Y/N’s. “He was asking me why I got back from my detention so late last night.” His cheeks are flushed pink and Y/N bites her lip to keep from smiling.

“What did you tell him? Did you tell him how easy I was? How desperate I was for you? How I touched myself? That I asked you for permission to finish?” she sneers, suddenly filled with rage.

George’s jaw practically drops to the table, his eyes widening in shock. “What? Why would I say any of that to him?” George asks, watching as Y/N starts to gather up her things.

“Because last night was just some big joke to you, wasn’t it?” she asks, as if the answer is obvious. “You don’t have feelings for me, you were just trying to get me into bed so you could have blackmail material or something. And I fell for it. Because I’m a big dumb idiot who is too in love to realize when she’s being played.”

Before George can even process what Y/N has just said she’s gone, tears streaming down her face and her heart broken in her chest.

-

“What’s wrong Y/N?” Daphne asks, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

She isn’t completely surprised that Daphne had come to find her. When Y/N returned from the library, she was full on crying. She had ignored her friend’s attempts to talk to her and stormed right to her dorm room so she could crawl into her bed and sob. Daphne starts to stroke her hair, and Y/N wipes away some of her tears.

“I’m in love with George Weasley,” Y/N mumbles into her pillow.

Daphne’s hand pauses. “Come again?”

“I’m in love with George Weasley,” Y/N huffs, turning over so she’s facing Daphne. Her whole-body tenses, waiting for Daphne to laugh or make some kind of snide comment. But it doesn’t happen. Instead Daphne starts to stroke her hair again as she wipes away some of her tears.

“Honestly that’d make me cry as well,” she says with a laugh, trying to get Y/N to smile. When it works and Y/N cracks a small smile Daphne continues. “So, what happened? Did he say something rude? Because if he did I swear to you I’ll have Adrian and Marcus break into Gryffindor tower and beat him up.”

Y/N can’t help but let out a quiet laugh. She sits up in bed, wiping away the last few tears. “I ran into him last night when I was doing my rounds. And Umbridge almost caught us so we ran and hid in this weird secret passageway and um,” she pauses, swallowing thickly. “We kissed. And fooled around a little. Or a lot.”

“And that’s why you’re crying? Was it bad? Did you fake your orgasm?” Daphne teases.

Y/N rolls her eyes as a blush starts to form on her cheeks. “No, that’s not it. It was quite enjoyable I’ll have you know,” she says playfully, shoving Daphne’s shoulder lightly. “It was what happened afterward.”

“He said something stupid, didn’t he? My offer still stands, I will have Adrian and Marcus go beat him up,” Daphne says her tone serious.

“He didn’t really say anything,” Y/N explains, choosing to ignore Daphne’s threats for now. “But you said it yourself this morning at breakfast. He was talking with Fred, probably planning some prank on me.” Y/N pauses to swallow the lump in her throat and blink away the tears that threaten to spill down her cheeks. “It was all probably just some prank or set up or blackmail or something. I mean why would he wanna be with me,” she says lamely, looking down at her hands.

Daphne scoffs and puts her finger under Y/N’s chin, forcing her to return her gaze. “If George Weasley doesn’t want to be with you then he is a big fat idiot. Y/N you are amazing. And beautiful and smart and way too nice for your own good. You may have questionable taste in men, but I’ve been snogging Marcus since third year so I’m not really one to judge.”

Y/N laughs and pulls Daphne into a hug. Her heart still aches for George, but she feels a tiny bit better knowing that she has Daphne on her side.

-

Despite the fact that Y/N has been ignoring George all day, she finds herself heading to the Room of Requirement on Wednesday evening for a DA meeting. There are nervous butterflies in her stomach as she approaches but she doesn’t turn back. The DA is one of the only good things she’s had going on this year, and she’ll be damned if she lets George Weasley ruin that for her. Y/N had felt his eyes on her all day, and she hates to admit that it made her feel lightheaded.

She stops outside of the room of requirement to collect herself. Y/N takes a few deep breaths, trying to clear the thoughts of George from her mind. She’s semi-successful and she holds her head high as she throws the door open and steps inside.

“What the fuck?” she says, her eyes wandering around the room as the door shuts behind her.  Y/N had certainly not been expecting the scene around her when she walked in. The room is dimly lit, with most of the lighting coming from candles that are floating around the room. There’s no furniture or practice dummies in sight, and the only other person in the room is George. He’s standing smack in the middle of the room watching her, a small smile on his face.

“I couldn’t think of any other way to get you alone,” he says after a moment, reaching a hand out towards Y/N. “So, I had Hermione send an alert out to your Galleon and hoped that you would show up.”

Y/N walks further into the room cautiously, still unsure as to what exactly is going on. She stands a few feet away from George, resisting the urge to take his hand and fall into his chest. “Okay but why?.” She pauses, her eyes scanning the room again. “If this is some kind of elaborate set up and Fred is about to jump out of somewhere I swear to Merlin George I will kill you.”

George chuckles and shakes his head, taking a step towards Y/N. When she doesn’t flinch, he takes another one. “I promise you; Y/N. Fred is nowhere near here.” He bites his lip, looking at Y/N closely. “This is just me, desperately trying to fix whatever mess I got us into.” When she doesn’t say anything George continues, needing to fill the awkward silence of the room. “Tuesday night was incredible. Best night of my life, hands down. I thought, I thought things would be different with us, afterwards. But then you didn’t even look at me all day yesterday and last night in the library that stuff you said,” he cuts himself off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I clearly did something wrong, but I’ve spent the past 24 hours thinking about everything I did, and I can’t seem to figure it out.”

“You didn’t say anything,” she says quietly after she lets George’s words soak in. When George raises his eyebrow in confusion she sighs. “On Tuesday, after everything that happened,” she clears her throat, trying to will the blush on her cheeks away. “When we were leaving you didn’t say anything. You just kind of left. I thought that it was just a one-time thing, that it didn’t mean the same to you as it did to me,” she admits quietly.

Y/N lets her eyes wander around the room, needing to look anywhere except for George’s face. Y/N likes to keep walls up around herself. She makes exceptions for her friends and her parents, the people she loves, but she keeps them up around others. She doesn’t like to show weakness, she doesn’t want to give people the opportunity to hurt her. On Tuesday Y/N had let all of those walls crumble to the ground the second George had kissed her and it felt incredible. She felt like she could truly be herself around him, and as much as she wishes she could build those walls up around her again it’s too late. Y/N has no choice but to stand here in this room and let George in.

“And then I just got all in my head,” she continues a moment later, finally letting herself look at George. Her heart is fluttering, and she can’t help but notice how good he looks. “When I went to breakfast that morning and you were whispering with Fred it looked like you guys were plotting something, like a prank or something. And it made me think that Tuesday was just some stupid prank. That you were gonna use the things I said against me, to embarrass me or something,” she mutters.

“Darling,” George starts, taking the last few steps to close the distance between them. He cups her cheek with one hand while the other reaches for one of hers. Y/N lets him grab her hand, and he intertwines their fingers. “I should have said something that night. There was so many things I wanted to say. But I didn’t want to overwhelm you. After that night we spent in detention I started to feel differently towards you. I knew you felt something too, but I wasn’t sure if you had realized it yet or not. So, when we left the passageway that night I wanted to give you time, to process everything.”

“I feel like such an idiot,” Y/N admits with a small smile. “I should have just said something instead of letting myself overthink it. I don’t like letting people in. But for some reason when I’m around you I can’t help but let you in. That night in detention I told you things not even Daphne knows. And then Tuesday, some of the things I said, I did,” she cuts herself off, a shiver running down her spine. “I’ve never let anyone see that side of me before and yet a few kisses from you had me blubbering like an idiot.”

“Blubbering like a wicked sexy idiot, darling,” George teases with a chuckle. He leans down and kisses her briefly. “I’m sorry, for not being clearer with my intentions.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, but there’s a warm smile on her face. “And what are those intentions?”

Her eyes flutter closed as George kisses her deeply, both of his hands landing on her bum, giving it a tight squeeze. She moans into the kiss and lets George’s tongue in to explore her mouth. She wraps her arms around George’s neck and pulls him flush to her body. George pulls away suddenly, with Y/N trying to chase his mouth.

George chuckles when she pouts at him. “To answer your question, darling. First, I’m going to fuck you into the mattress over there like the dirty little girl you are.” George pauses, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s lips as a shiver runs down her spine. “And then I’m going to hold you close and whisper how much I love you into your ear.”

Y/N pulls George’s face down and presses their lips together hotly, kissing him desperately. She jumps up, her legs wrapping around his waist and his hands gripping her bum tightly. George carries her over to the bed that had appeared at some point in the past few minutes and throws her down on it. He loosens his tie and throws it off over his head and starts to work on the buttons of his shirt. Y/N watches his fingers move, practically drooling as his pale chest becomes more and more exposed to her.

“What are you waiting for? Permission,” George teases, his voice gravelly and his eyes dark. “Get naked,” he demands a moment later when she still doesn’t move. “Let me see all of you.”

George’s voice causes goosebumps to appear all over Y/N’s body and her core starts to ache. She can already feel herself getting wet, and the way George is looking at her as she rids herself of her clothes is only making it worse.

In a matter of moments, they’re both naked, and Y/N can feel her skin flushing under George’s gaze. He’s standing by the edge of the bed, slowly stroking himself as his eyes run over her naked body. Her body is aching for his touch, and she squirms under his intense gaze. “Please, George,” she moans, one of her hands coming up to toy with her breasts.

In an instant George is on top of her, kissing her messily as his hands touch every inch of skin they can. He bats away the hand that’s palming her breast so he can take over, his fingers starting to toy with her sensitive nipple. Y/N moans into George’s mouth, arching her back to press herself up into him harder. George practically growls at her actions and his other hand grabs her left thigh, forcing her legs apart.

“What do you want, darling?” he asks hotly, his lips trailing kisses down her neck. “My fingers?” He releases her thigh and starts to ghost his fingers up her it towards her folds. “My mouth?” He latches onto her neck and starts to lightly suck, causing a sinful whine to leave her lips.

Y/N tangles her fingers in George’s hair, tugging lightly as she squirms under his touch. “Both, please,” she begs, her breath coming out in hard pants. George’s fingers have finally reached her core, and his index finger has started to slowly circle her clit.

“Both, hm? What a needy little girl you’re being, Y/N,” he chides, his mouth continuing to trail kisses down her neck and over her chest. “But how can I say no? Not when you’re being such a good girl and asking so nicely.”

Y/N moans. George’s thumb has started to rub soft circles on her clit while his mouth wraps around her breast, sucking her nipple lightly. When George had called her a good girl at the beginning of term it had filled her with rage, but now as he slowly pushes his index finger inside of her tight walls she thinks she could come just from him calling her that alone.

“Fuck, George,” she whines, clenching around his finger as he curls it inside of her. She can feel his smirk as he kisses down her stomach. Her hips start to move off of the bed as he starts to slowly fuck her with his finger. His free hand flies to her hip and pins it down against the bed.

“Don’t be so impatient, darling. I’m going to take my time with you,” he scolds. He pulls his finger out slowly, and when he pushes it back in another has joined it, causing Y/N to gasp. “You sound so pretty, darling. Such pretty noises,” he praises.

George moves down the bed as his lips ghost over her hip so he can position himself better for what’s about to happen. He stops his movements on her pussy suddenly, causing Y/N to whine at the loss. He grabs her thighs and pushes them farther apart, so she’s spread open for him. “Such a pretty pussy you have, darling,” he groans, his eyes gazing over her dripping folds. Y/N tries to shut her legs, but George’s grip tightens on her thighs, keeping them open. “Don’t be shy, darling,” he teases.

Y/N is writhing in George’s grasp, one hand is toying with her nipples while the other grips the bed sheets. “George, please,” she begs again, needing him to touch her. George chuckles and suddenly his mouth is on her, lightly sucking on her clit. “Oh fuck,” she shouts, her hand leaving her breast to tangle in George’s hair.

George’s tongue starts to tease Y/N’s clit, wrapping around the bud slowly before pulling away and coming to lightly flick at it. He wraps his arm around her left thigh as she begins to move her hips, forcing her back down against the bed. “Gonna need to get some rope to tie you up, keep you nice and open for me,” he murmurs before putting his mouth back on her aching core.

“Holy fuck, George,” Y/N moans as he suddenly plunges two fingers into her heat. She can’t help the sounds that are coming out of her mouth as George pleasures her, images of George tying her up floating in her mind. George hums in laughter as his fingers curl and brush up against Y/N’s sweet spot, causing her to moan again.

Y/N can feel her orgasm approaching, can feel the arousal building in her stomach. She wiggles her hips, trying to move away from George, and a squeal falls from her mouth when he pulls her even closer to his face. She grips his hair tightly and her toes curl as her orgasm approaches. Y/N yanks the sheets hard, her mouth opening and shutting unable to form a coherent thought due to George’s relentless pleasure.

“George please,” she sobs, her eyes screwing shut from the sheer amount of pleasure coursing through her body. Her legs are shaking as George licks at her core, his fingers hitting the spot inside her that drives her crazy with every thrust. “I need you. I need you to, George, please,” she begs. She’s teetering on the edge of her release, just needing that one final push that only George can provide.

“Need me to what, darling?” he asks coyly as he pulls his face away from her pussy. His thumb takes over the assault on her clit his tongue had been doing before, starting to rub it in hard circles.

“Please,” she begs again, tears starting to leak out the side of her eyes. Y/N has never been this turned on in her life. Her body is trembling, her need for release overwhelming every part of her.

George presses a few kisses to the hot skin on the inside of her thigh to hide his smile. Y/N looks absolutely ethereal as she wriggles in his grasp, begging him to let her come. Her hair is splayed out on the pillow behind her, and her neck looks like it’s begging to be bit. Her whole body is flushed, and a sheen of sweat has appeared over her skin.

“You are absolutely gorgeous, Y/N,” he compliments as he situates himself on top of her again. He leans on his forearm and presses their lips together briefly. “Such a good girl, darling. Go on be a good girl, come for me.”

George kisses her again as she comes, groaning as her walls tighten around his fingers. Y/N’s whole-body shakes as she comes, and George continues to slowly rub her clit as she comes down from her high. With one final curl of his fingers he removes them from her heat.

“You are a goddess,” he murmurs against her lips before he pulls away.

Y/N opens her eyes, smiling up at George. “And you’re a bloody fucking tease.”

George laughs and rolls onto his back, his arm winding around Y/N’s waist to pull her on top of him. Y/N giggles in delight, pressing their lips together in a heated kiss. She lets her hand trail along his chest as they kiss, pausing as she reaches his groin. “Now see if I really was a good girl,” she mocks her fingertips dancing on the skin just above the base of his cock. “I’d touch you but.” She sighs and brings her hand back up to rest on George’s chest. “I’m feeling kinda naughty.”

“Bold tactic for a girl who was just begging me to let her come a few seconds ago,” George responds playfully, leaning up to press their lips together again. Y/N squeals when George pulls her fully on top of him so she’s straddling his waist. “I know I said I was gonna fuck you into the mattress but,” he says with a sigh when he breaks their kiss. “I don’t know if naughty girls deserve my cock.”

Despite the fact that she had just come a few seconds ago, Y/N’s pussy is aching again. She pouts down at George, rolling her hips. A satisfied smirk appears on her face when he groans. “What if I promise to be a good girl?”

George rolls them over so she’s underneath him. “I think I can make an exception.” Y/N laughs as George kisses her and winds her legs around his waist. George lines himself up with her entrance, breaking their kiss so he can look at her. “Ready?” When Y/N nods George pushes his hips forward and slowly enters Y/N.

“Oh my god, George,” she gasps as her hands come up to grip his shoulders. George doesn’t stop until his hips are flush against Y/N’s bum.

“Fucking hell you’re tight, Y/N,” he groans, burying his face in her neck. He lets out another groan as Y/N’s walls clench around him.

“Fuck me George, please,” she demands, squeezing his shoulders.

George chuckles into her neck and pulls out of her halfway before he slams back in, starting to slowly fuck her. “Since you asked so nicely,” he teases, pressing an open mouth kiss to her jaw.

For a few minutes all the noise that can be heard is Y/N and George’s combined moans as well as skin slapping on skin. George grabs Y/N’s leg and throws it over his shoulder so he can fuck into her deeper and the head of his cock is now rubbing her sweet spot with every thrust.

“Oh fuck,” Y/N moans, scratching her nails down George’s back. “Feels so good, George. ‘M already close.”

“Fuck me too,” he growls, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “You feel so fucking good, darling.” He presses a few kisses into the skin below her ear. “Go on, darling. Come for me when you’re ready. Didn’t even need to touch your little clit, did I? Such a good girl, coming from just my cock.”

George’s words tip Y/N over the edge and she throws her head back, George’s name falling from her mouth. Her walls tighten and twitch around George, causing him to reach his climax as well. He empties himself inside of Y/N, his hips slowly rolling into her to help them both come down from their highs.

Once George’s cock has stopped twitching and Y/N’s breathing starts to slow down, George carefully pulls out of her and collapses on the bed next to her. George opens up his arm and Y/N rolls into his side, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She peppers soft kisses to the sweaty skin as George starts to rub her back.

“It’s not fair, you know,” George says as Y/N trails a few kisses up his neck and across his jaw.

Y/N pecks his lips softly. “What’s not fair?” she asks with a chuckle.

George pouts at her and she kisses him briefly again. “Every time we get intimate you get to come twice, and I only get to come once. That’s totally not fair.”

Y/N laughs and buries her face in George’s neck again. “Well maybe if you were a good boy I’d let you come more than once,” she teases.

George’s fingers dig into Y/N’s side as he holds her in place, tickling her mercilessly. Y/N shrieks with laughter, desperately trying to wiggle away from George’s grasp. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she laughs, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. George tickles her for another moment before he stops, one of his hands resting on the small of Y/N’s back and the other grabs hers.

“I love you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Y/N looks up at him and presses a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “I love you too.”

-

The next morning as Y/N drags George over to the Slytherin table for breakfast she can hear Ginny shouting at Ron.

“I told you, you absolute numpty! You owe me a Galleon!”

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Rocketear

The Rocketeer is a 1991 Disney movie set in 1930's America where a test pilot gets a jetpack and uses it to fight Nazis and— Wait, what? “Rocketear”? Oh, damn it!

Let's get into the eleventh (chronologically the seventeenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Rocketear.

We start off with Carapace and Cat Noir struggling to hold back some T-Rexes brought back to life by a scientist Jurassic Park style. Seriously, they reference the movie in the same scene.

Why wasn't this the plot of the episode again?

After managing to tame the dinosaurs with a whistle of all things, Ladybug notices something's wrong with Nino after he gives the Turtle Miraculous back to her. Apparently, he's wondering why Rena Rouge (who he knows is Alya) wasn't recruited with him today. Ladybug tells him that he was the only help she needed today. In reality, it's because Alya has adjusted to her new role of supporting Ladybug behind the scenes in her new form, Rena Furtive.

And I'm not a fan of the new form. I get the camo, but it doesn't really help her blend in when her suit is bright blue. I think it's based off the arctic fox, but that animal is able to camouflage itself because it's fur matches the snowy environment. I'm sure a bright blue jumpsuit won't stand out when she tries to blend in at all. Also, the fact that Alya can just change her hero form gives even less excuses as to why Ladybug's new form is only when she uses her Lucky Charm.

Alya is struggling to keep this a secret from Nino because they don't have a lot of secrets in their relationship. Marinette says she can kind of get it because she had to keep her identity a secret from her friend and has to keep keeping her identity a secret from everyone else. Basically, she's telling Alya to suck it up because this is what being a superhero is.

So the next time she sees Nino, Alya tells him she's no longer Rena Rouge, but not about Rena Furtive, which troubles her. The very next scene shows Alya showing Marinette pictures she took of her new costume and asking her which version looks better.

You could always try reviewing Akuma fights. I heard there's one blog that does it when they're not criticizing the famous director Thomas Astruc on social media.

Yeah, in case you can't tell, Alya was only able to rent her brain for a few episodes because she really doesn't seem as understanding about being a superhero as she was in earlier episodes. In episodes like “Optigami” and “Sentibubbler”, we saw Alya use more strategy and show discretion as Rena Rouge, seemingly taking her job more seriously, but then this episode just had to go and piss it all away. I also love how the first time the animators made Alya's skin the same when she's transformed is in a single frame for a joke.

Alya thankfully deletes the picture, but Nino overhears her talking about struggling to find more content for the Ladyblog, and decides to go to the movies with her to help take her mind off things. Nino, in turn, proceeds to give the same reaction to the in-universe Ladybug movie that Astruc gives to the PV.

Apparently, that movie's already getting a sequel and it has a teaser. So was the sequel animated at the same time as the original like Back to the Future Part II and Back to the Future Part III?

Nino gets pissed the next movie in the Ladybug Cinematic Universe will feature Rena Rouge and not Carapace... even though Rena Rouge debuted first. The teaser then shows Rena Rouge falling for Cat Noir (yet another creative liberty taken by the writers or something Astruc's self-insert threw in himself), and takes it like it's the real thing. Dude, the first movie said Ladybug was afraid of cats, and the director yelled at the person it was based on for judging it. He clearly has a hard time distinguishing fiction from reality.

Alya leaves Nino early so she can go on patrol, but Nino sees Cat Noir heading out as well. He then watches a video on the Ladyblog where Alya praises Cat Noir which is totally not Astruc projecting or anything.

I don't know what your definition of a prince is, Alya, and I honestly don't want to know.

So Nino takes this as evidence that Alya is in love with Cat Noir and decides to tell Adrien, who naturally laughs him off. And just before you think we have an episode where Adrien plays the straight man, Adrien decides to visit Alya because he's afraid he accidentally charmed Alya.

Yes, because Cat Noir is so charming, girls are just fighting over him, aren't they?

We then cut to a black and white film noir monologue by Nino (dressed like a detective with a fake mustache), who decides to spy on Alya. When Cat Noir asks Alya if she is attracted to him, she naturally laughs him off, though Cat Noir is thankfully a good sport about it, even giving her a hug to apologize. Unfortunately, Nino took this the wrong way.

The next day at school, Nino takes Adrien into his “office” (it's really an excuse to reuse the boiler room setpiece), and shows him the picture of the hug. Adrien says that Alya would never fall for Cat Noir because she's always dedicated to finding out the truth and telling her boyfriend everything. What's Nino's retort?

Okay, several problems with this bit. First of all, why would Nino even tell Adrien any of this? What would it accomplish? Why not say all this to Alya while confronting her about her alleged unfaithfulness? Second, Ladybug didn't give Nino and Alya their Miraculous at the same time until it was an absolute emergency. She outright said in “Hero's Day” that she didn't have time to recruit Nino and Alya separately.

Ladybug: I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. I know I'm revealing your secret identities but I don't have time to find a good excuse to give them to you separately. Rena Rouge and Carapace, I need you both!

Nino and Alya kept their identities secret from each other until then, with Alya even keeping the fact she knew who Carapace was a secret as well. Nino didn't find out because “they don't hide anything from each other” (which I plan to talk about later).

Other than that, I actually liked Adrien in this scene. It was really investing to see him try to justify the whole secret identities rule while Nino blatantly said there was an exception. This is the kind of stuff I wanted to see when it came to Adrien doubting Ladybug, not him destroying things in his anger.

While Nino rants about how Cat Noir “stole” Alya from him, Shadowmoth sends an Akuma his way, turning him into Rocketear.

And the design he has is just boring. It's just a blue jumpsuit with some black spots that look like teardrops, a teardrop-shaped head and a visor. I think the reason this season's been relying more on past Akumas and using more Sentimonsters is because DQ is terrible at character designs. I mean, compare this suit with Aigraon from Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger (his Power Rangers counterpart is Wrench from Dino Charge).

The design does so much more with the teardrop motif, giving him a perpetually miserable face with tear lines going all over his body. Add that to a more diverse color scheme, and you have a much more visually stunning design. And this was created in real life, not rendered on a computer. I'm not sure if this is a budget thing or a laziness thing, but if it's the former, you really need to do better, animators.

The powers are meh, giving Nino the ability to fling explosive tears at enemies. It's a clever idea, and it makes sense he gets a power that parallels Cat Noir's, but I think maybe it would have been more interesting if he couldn't control the tears at all. Like, imagine if he was constantly crying like Blue Diamond, and with every tear he shed, Rocketeer could send it at whoever he felt was causing him misery, mainly Cat Noir, all while serving as a metaphor for people who blame others for their own personal issues. Better yet, make him look like the detective outfit Nino wore for the second act. It would have made him more unpredictable instead of making his tears generic projectile weapons.

Marinette and Alya see the fight and transform into Ladybug and Rena Furtive respectively, the former summoning her Lucky Charm, a projector. Is it just me, or has this been happening with Ladybug a lot recently?

Back to Rocketear, we get a good moment where Cat Noir intentionally lets the Akuma hit him so he can get a chance to resolve things diplomatically. See, this is a moment where Cat Noir's self-sacrificing nature feels heroic and not selfish like when he does it without Ladybug's permission to spite her. Unfortunately, it doesn't really go anywhere as Ladybug shows up and plays the recording Nino took (Alya found his phone earlier), while Rena Furtive uses her Mirage to give the audio to what actually happened that night.

Rena transforms back into Alya and embraces Rocketear, who apologizes to her for his behavior. And then he just... rejects Shadowmoth's power while looking like it wasn't that much effort.

At least when Chloe and Alya did it, we saw them struggling for a little longer. I guess maybe it's because Nino is motivated by his love for Alya, but I think it should have been fleshed out more. So Ladybug purifies the Akuma, gives Nino a Magical Charm, and Cat Noir is still unsure about his feelings for Ladybug at the moment, though they still pound it.

Back in his room, Adrien ponders why Alya and Nino get to know their identities while he and Ladybug can't, but Plagg points out it's because she's the Guardian. It's brief, but I do like seeing Adrien start to doubt Ladybug's judgment, and it looks like it'll foreshadow future episodes. This is a problem I've had since “Hero's Day”, and I'm glad the writers are finally acknowledging this double standard. I just hope they don't end up blaming Marinette for whatever happens later on.

Marinette, of course, apologizes for what happened between Alya and Nino, and I have to say... yeah, no. It's obviously Nino's fault here.

Nino really pushed personal boundaries in this episode, much like Marinette's friends in “Gang of Secrets”. Yes, honesty is a valuable trait, but sometimes, people have secrets they want to keep to themselves. Nino's idea of “not hiding anything from each other” is somewhat controlling, like he's demanding Alya tell him everything whether she wants to or not. The fact that he immediately assumed Alya was cheating on him without giving her freedom to make her own choices doesn't make him look good. Let's be honest, a more realistic outcome would be Alya choosing to break things off with Nino or at least lecture him about how she can do what she wants and keep the secrets she wants. But instead...

And that's how the episode ends.

Okay, Marinette just said she trusted Alya to make the right decision, but I highly doubt she meant this. Marinette strictly said Alya had to keep Rena Furtive a secret, and now she's telling Nino this despite the risk? The whole reason Marinette and Luka broke up was because Marinette had to keep her secrets from Luka, but now it's okay for Alya to be completely honest? How is this not a double standard?

This episode was just dull, and there’s not even much I can really say about it.. There were a handful of standout moments, and the stuff with Adrien was somewhat compelling, but Nino's behavior was just insufferable and dragged the episode down. The Akuma fight was weak, only lasting about four minutes at most, and while the Lucky Charm was more creative this time, the plot was just frustrating. It's really one of the weaker episodes this season.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch the better Rocketeer.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

The DC films have been a mixed bag, to put it lightly. As of 2020, for every fun and enjoyable superhero film like Wonder Woman, Shazam, Aquaman, and Birds of Prey, there has been a film that was reviled or polarizing. Dawn of Justice and Justice League are both common punching bags, but there is one movie that stands out as the single most despised film in the DC cinematic universe so far:

Suicide Squad.

A lot of this comes from just how unashamedly blatant the film is at being a rushed cash in on the type of quirky superhero movie that Guardians of the Galaxy helped popularize: a bunch of wild and wacky antiheroes team up, fight a big problem, make one liners, and become a family, all while an awesome soundtrack blares in the background. It seems like the easiest thing in the world to rip off, but there’s a lot of heart and charm in Guardians that it’s not easy to replicate. And if you ask most critics… this movie did not.

Opinions on the film tend to range from lukewarm to outright hating, with IHE and the [REDACTED] Critic all throwing in their two cents. Perhaps the most damning review of all came from Mick LaSalle, who wrote:

“If you know someone you really can’t stand — not someone you dislike, not someone who rubs you the wrong way, but someone you really loathe and detest — send that person a ticket for “Suicide Squad.” It’s the kind of torment you can wish on your worst enemy without feeling too guilty: not something to inflict permanent damage, just two hours of soul-sickening confusion and sensory torment.”

There’s not much love for this, is what should be abundantly clear. And it’s really a shame, because there is stuff this film has going for it, but it wasn’t really enough to stop DC from basically hitting the soft reboot button and snagging the actual James Gunn to make a sequel while also doing their best to downplay that the events of this film actually happened. But now with a few years of hindsight, I have to go back and wonder like the heathen I am…

Is Suicide Squad REALLY that bad?

THE GOOD

Yes, amazingly, there is some good stuff here, mostly to do with the casting. At least half the cast is just pitch perfect for their roles. Famous rapper and YouTube Rewind star Will Smith as Deadshot is, of course, one of the standout examples; he brings a lot of charm and charisma to his role of an assassin who really loves his daughter, but then again, this is Will Smith. It’s hard not to love the guy in anything he does. Viola Davis as Amanda Waller is another inspired bit of casting, and she truly owns the role, and Jai Courtney is perhaps the most consistently enjoyable member of the Squad, Captain Boomerang, the exact sort of stupid D-list villain who SHOULD be getting screentime in a movie like this.

Of course, the very best bit of casting is Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, in Harley’s big screen debut. Robbie has such an enthusiasm for the role that shines through even with the clunky script, and while she would definitely improve her craft for her outing in Birds of Prey, her performance here still has that spark of zany fun that Harley needs, cementing Robbie as the perfect star for the role. Frankly, that’s the feeling that can be gathered from a lot of these really good performances; they’re good, but they lack proper refinement, and so are stuck spouting the stupidest, corniest, clunkiest lines imaginable. But yes, really the worst thing you can say about Harley in this film is that her outfit is absolutely atrocious and demeaning.

While we’re on the subject of Harley Quinn, tough… while the whole situation with the Joker is something I’ll get to shortly, I think their relationship in this film is actually done well in many aspects. I’ve always preferred the original idea of “Mad Love” over the glorified domestic abuse that Joker x Harley has often devolved into, and while there is a bit of the latter, the fact that Joker literally goes out of his way to save Harley at every opportunity to the point he’s a definition satellite love interest is really good. Of course, this was thrown out for Birds of Prey, but I do think it worked in the context of this film.

Of course, we all know that the greatest aspect of this film is REALLY Slipknot, the single most powerful member of the Squad. I’ve already written an entire Psycho Analysis on why he’s the greatest villain in the history of cinema, so just read that for the rundown on how our man Slipknot climbs his way into your heart and mind.

THE BAD

So there is just a lot to go over here.

First, there’s the soundtrack’s implementation. As a blatant Guardians ripoff, everything the characters do needs to be punctuated by some sort of awesome music to tie the scene together. The difference is that where in the Guardian movies the soundtrack is used as a storytelling tool to help subtly emphasize points that the narrative doesn’t want to spell out for you, Suicide Squad just has these songs because they’re cool and because Guardians did it. Why is “Black Skinhead” playing while Deadshot tests his weapon skills? Why is “House of the Rising Sun” playing during Waller talking about the Squad? What exactly do these songs add besides background music? The opening montage of everyone in the Squad is particularly bad because the songs are just switching up really quickly as the montage goes along, which echoes a complaint I had about Little Nicky, of all films: “One of the more noticeable problems is the usage of music; in the course of one single scene, they play four different songs, and all of this is in a span of about one or two minutes. Just pick a song and stick to it for fuck’s sake!” About the only song that is really properly utilized is “Heathens,” which plays over the (admittedly cool) credit sequence.

Now let’s get into the characters, because for every awesome character in this film, there’s two that just absolutely suck or are so underutilized it’s laughable. Probably the worst case of this is Killer Croc, who despite being a stunning practical effect and probably the reason this film scored an Oscar, does pretty much nothing for the entire film, save for a short bit in the ending where he swims. You’d be entirely forgiven for forgetting he’s in the film, which is not something you should be saying about a Batman villain of this caliber.

Katana and Diablo are both characters who should be awesome, but the story givers them nothing to do and rushes their character arcs, respectively. Katana is yet another character you’d probably forget is there, even though she has a lot of fascinating elements to her character (some of which are detailed in her infamous introduction, which don’t worry, I’m working towards it), but nothing is really done with her. Diablo is actually one of the best and most fleshed-out characters in the film, but the narrative just completely fails to justify him or his ultimate heroic sacrifice; by the end, he claims the Squad is like family, but they’ve never really done anything to earn this. Like, think to the ending of Guardians of the Galaxy, where we have moments like Drax standing up for Gamora and Groot sacrificing himself. These moments only work because the characters had their relationships built up over the course of the movie so that there is a punch when these things happen. Suicide Squad really just throws it in just to have it.

Then we come to our villain. Enchantress is yet another villain I once detailed on Psycho Analysis, and my opinion on her remains unchanged. While she most certainly has a cool design, she is absolutely not the sort of world-ending supernatural threat a team of snarky jackasses should be fighting on their first mission together. The Squad should have had a mission more grounded in reality, and that can’t happen when you have an ancient interdimensional witch causing a Luddite zombie apocalypse through the power of interpretive dance. There’s also the fact that there’s never really any reason given to care about the character of June Moon, the host of the Enchantress, so the desperation of Rick Flag (a character so boring and pointless I didn’t even waste time mentioning him before) to save her comes off as hollow as most of the movie’s other emotional moments. Overall, Enchantress is just a boring generic doomsday villain who feels wildly out of place in the story and just doesn’t do anything to make herself stand out.

Then we have Joker.

I’m not really going to get into Jared Leto’s obnoxious behind-the-scenes antics, because that has little bearing on his performance, kind of like how his performance has little bearing on the film. As I mentioned before, this Joker is nothing more than a satellite for Harley. This is probably a good thing, because despite being called Joker he’s pretty divorced from most other interpretations; while he plays up the thuggish, brutish elements the Joker does typically have, everything else about him is just so jarringly non-Joker as to be laughable, from his ridiculous grill to the absolutely cringeworthy “Damaged” tattoo on his forehead. I wouldn’t go quite so far as to say he’s the worst villain in a superhero movie ever as some have, mostly because he’s not even in the film long enough to leave much of an impact. I will, however, say that so far he is the absolute worst onscreen depiction of Joker in film. Once again, if you’d like to hear more of my in-depth thoughts on Leto’s portrayal, I did make a Psycho Analysis on him a while back.

But all that aside, the worst aspect of this film is the writing. The writing is just utterly abysmal throughout, and while there are a few good lines sprinkled here and there, a lot of the dialogue is cringeworthy and the story itself is a convoluted mess. The story takes so many nonsensical turns from the get-go, starting with how Amanda Waller thinks a bunch of non-superpowered criminals could take down a metahuman threat; what the hell is Killer Croc, whose only power is “being an ugly cannibal,” going to do against Superman? That’s like if you put Leatherface up against a Predator, who would be stupid en-

...Oh. Right. Well, if nothing else, Amanda Waller has a very bright future as a designer for Mortal Kombat games. Beyond that, as mentioned above, a lot of the characters simply exist and serve little purpose in the narrative, and the ones that do serve a purpose are underplayed unless they’re Deadshot or Harley. You’d think Diablo’s tragic backstory and desire to have a family or Flag’s desire to save June from her curse would be more major elements, but nah. We don’t get much, if any, development on these fronts. And for the dialogue… well, I think this one speaks for itself:

Is It Really THAT Bad?

So I’ve been pretty hard on this film overall, I think, but here’s the shocking twist: I don’t think this is the worst DC movie. Frankly, I find the claims that this is the bottom of the barrel in terms of superhero films a gross overexaggeration. F4ntastic and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 are far and away worse films with little to no redeeming qualities whatsoever in them. At the very least, Suicide Squad is a fun kind of stupid, whereas those movies are bleak, miserable slogs that fail to even try and engage the viewer on any level.

And then, even within the DC movie lineup, I would not say this is worse than Dawn of Justice. Dawn of Justice has a more coherent story, and it in a general sense has better writing, dialogue, and so on… but it isn’t fun, it’s overly long, it’s incredibly pretentious, and it absolutely squanders the coolest concept for a crossover fight that there ever could be, all while giving us a Lex Luthor who is an obnoxious, whiny, sniveling brat who is utterly unbelievable as a threat. Suicide Squad almost seems within the ballpark of being self aware that it’s stupid schlock, and I find that infinitely more respectable than a film that, regardless of its artistic merit, thinks it’s deep and meaningful when it is anything but.

Suicide Squad is firmly on the side of “So bad it’s good,” and even within that category it’s somewhat underrated. I don’t necessarily think this film needs more respect per se, but I feel like it falls into the same category as movies like The Emoji Movie, where it isn’t good by any means but people will rant and rave about how it’s destroying cinema by being apocaliptically bad instead of just saying it’s crappy and moving on with their lives. Like this isn’t a great movie, but at least there’s a couple of enjoyable things, and superhero movies have been through far worse. Its current score of 6 on IMDB is honestly pretty fair. Is it spectacular? No. Could you be watching something way better. Definitely. But is it a trashy, idiotic romp with some good actors and some fun performances in a story so mind-bogglingly dumb that it needs to be seen to be believed? Hell yes.

[raijinhasverybigpecs]

THE RE-UP: Tu’er Shen, the Leveret Spirit 🐇

“While other gods may proclaim endlessly over the power they have over their domains, causing no end of trouble for their fellow pantheon members and their followers as a result, Tu’er Shen patiently and quietly tends to those who request his services with unmatched loyalty and dedication.”

Name: Tu’er Shen, the Leveret Spirit​

​Pantheon: Chinese, Minor Diety​

Class: Hunter/Healer Hybrid, Medium Difficulty​

Positives: Healer, High Movement​

Negatives: Hybrid Specialisations​

please click on the read more for everything else lol

appearance details 🐇

old (above) vs new (below)

so perhaps i made him a bara rabbit after all lmao. blame the new outfit and how much better it’d look if tu’er shen has big ol bitties to work with :^) it’s still the same hair as the ears work really well with that colour but the basically the whole face has changed to be a lil more Dramatic(tm). the makeup skills have also improved with new tu’er shen rocking more subtle eyeliner alongside some very pretty and shiny pink liner. the eyes are also another major change, they’re a pretty grey as it goes nice with his hair. i still love the idea of his eyes changing colour according to his mood and grey is just a neutral mood :^) anyways, yes he looks beautiful, yes you can compliment him!

outfit details 🐇

tu’er shen now has an in-game outfit!! yay 🥳 it’s been a while coming mostly bc i have no art or visual character design skills but i’m pretty proud of how this turned out lol. it’s super cute and p goddamn chinese if i say so myself but it’s still very hoe and feels modern enough to fit smite’s standards i feel lol. big thanks to @izahunny​ (who is dead on that blog but a clown on twitter) for helping me with designing the outfit, the back layers and lil extra dress fabric for the front bottom left corner of the dress were his idea and they make everything much more balanced 🥰 i didn’t add a weapon but he’s just using a bow, i might update this later if i care enough to add that lmao

abilities 🐇

(please note that i am terrible with stats and don’t care about how viable in-game he actually is, these are just general ideas and the stats can be changed lol)

PASSIVE - Protector​

Tu’er Shen passively grants a medium range aura of regenation around him to his allies, increasing their HPS, MPS and magical and physical protections by 5% of their totals for each statistic. Additionally, Tu’er Shen gains a 3% movement speed bonus every 4 levels.​

40 unit aura radius, 5% increase of total HPS, MPS and protections​

3% bonus movement speed every 4 levels, total bonus is 12% at level 20​

ABILITY 1​ - Passion Arrow​

Tu’er Shen charges his arrows with passion, amplifying his next basic attacks with a small AOE on hit or at max basic attack range and causing them to go through minions. If Tu’er Shen hits an ally while Passion Arrow is active, he heals them for a flat amount. If an enemy is hit the charges deal increased damage on impact and if they are hit 3 times they are charmed and walk harmlessly towards Tu’er Shen for 1.5 seconds.​

Cooldown: 10 seconds

3/3/4/5/5 charges, Heal: 50/75/95/125/150 + 30% scaling​

Extra damage: 10/30/60/90/120, Mana cost: 55/60/70/75/85​

ABILITY 2​ - Matchmaker​

Tu’er Shen calls upon his matchmaking skills to select and connect two allied gods or one ally and one enemy god with each other in a 55 unit targeter. If two allies are linked then their damage is increased by 10% and they receive a heal over time. If an ally and an enemy are connected then the enemy is revealed to Tu’er Shen’s team and the enemy deals 20% less damage to their partner. Additionally, the connected ally receives 50% of their enemy partner’s healing.​

Cooldown: 20/19/18/17/16 secs​ 

Duration: 6 seconds, Heal over time: 20/25/30/35/40 + 20% scaling​

HOT ticks every 1 second, Mana cost: 50/55/60/65/70​

ABILITY 3​ - Bunny Hop​

Tu’er Shen hops in the direction he is currently travelling. If Tu’er Shen hits a wall, player-made deployable or god he bounces off the surface, doubling his movement. Additionally, enemy gods are stunned for 1 second upon impact. Tu’er Shen can store 1 charge of this ability.​

Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 secs

2 charges maximum, range of 55 with an amplified range of 110 units​

Damage: 100/150/200/250/300 + 100% scaling, Mana cost: 70/80/90/100/110 mana​

ULTIMATE​ - Romantic Rush​

Tu’er Shen, after a short duration, channels the full extent of his love powers, amplifying all of his basic attacks with the effects of Passion Arrow for 10 seconds. If an ally is hit and they are at full health they receive a a health shield equal to half of Passion Arrow’s healing. On enemy hit, the charm duration is doubled but they cannot be charmed again while Romantic Rush is active. The effects of Matchmaker are doubled and Tu’er Shen receives a 20% damage buff if he is linked with another male god.​

Cooldown: 80 seconds

Duration: 10 seconds​

Mana cost: 80/90/100/110/120 mana​

lore 🐇

While other gods may proclaim endlessly over the power they have over their domains, causing no end of trouble for their fellow pantheon members and their followers as a result, Tu’er Shen patiently and quietly tends to those who request his services with unmatched loyalty and dedication. For he is not a god who takes to the spotlight easily, but one who will see his responsibilities through to help and protect those who he serves, an opportunity he was once not afforded in his youth.​

​Such are the origins of Tu’er Shen, the Leveret God. ​

​Once a young man known as Hu Tianbao, he fell deeply in love with a handsome imperial inspector of Fujian Province. Such was the intensity of his love that he looked upon the inspector while he bathed, peering at him through a bathroom wall. Tianbao was caught in the act, confessing his sincere affections for the other man in hopes of reaching an understanding. The inspector was quick to retaliate in violence, sentencing him to death by beating.

Underworld officials, seeing his crime as one of love, sought to justify his death by appointing him the god and safe guarder of homosexual affections. A month after his death, he appeared in the dreams of a man from his hometown – not as Hu Tianbao but reborn as Tu’er Shen. From this came the erection of a humble shrine for his worship and Tu’er Shen has dutifully served those who seek him ever since.​

​The battlefield of the gods is a strange place to find Tu’er Shen, usually one so far removed from the world of ugly violence and mindless bloodshed. Even so, perhaps love can soothe and heal the wounds caused by the warring of pantheons, or maybe it can even help end the war in some way. Knowing firsthand the true cost of thoughtless hate and violence, Tu’er Shen picks up his bow in the hope that he can protect even one person of those who cannot protect themselves in the war of the gods.

voicelines 🐇

god selection

“Tu’er Shen!” (duh)

introduction

“Is anyone in need of my services?”

“Let’s see what I can do.”

“Wonder if there are any cute gods around? Wait, no! Work first, then play later!”

“In their own ways, everyone here is fighting for love.”

(this isn’t an official one but as a joke it was highly entertaining) “Come on Season 6 let’s get sickening!”

abilities

ability 1 - passion arrow

“Fallen for me yet?”

“I’ve got you!”

“Coming for your heart!”

ability 2 - matchmaker

self/ally match - male gods only

“Our connection is strong.”

“Let your heart speak to me.”

self/ally match - general

“Together we’re stronger.”

“I’ve got your back.”

ally/ally match

“You’d make a good pair.”

“Another successful match.”

ally/enemy

“Swipe left next time!”

“This’ll end badly.”

ability 3 - bunny hop

“Excuse me!”

“Coming through!”

ability 4/ultimate - romantic rush

“Feel the love!”

low health

“I will not give in just yet.”

“I don’t mind playing rough, but this is a bit too much even for me…”

items

when placing wards

“Reveal their hearts to me little ward.”

“Any romantic confessions I should be aware of?”

when buying consumables

“Isn’t this interesting?”

“The colour is lovely.”

when buying offensive items

“I don’t want to harm others but if I must.”

“Love hurts indeed…”

when buying defensive items

“Will this protect my ears?”

“Hope this won’t slow me down.”

“Even the gods have to use a little protection.”

kills

when in a killstreak

“I can heal them later on, right?”

“Love never misses its mark.”

when killing a jungle boss

“That creature was awfully big…”

“Thank you for your sacrifice.”

when destroying a tower

“Love conquers all, man and structure alike.”

“Ack, that’s so loud!”

death

“You’ll never kill my spirit…”

“Love is eternal…”

directed voicelines

Aphrodite - “It’s a great honour to finally meet the goddess of love, I have much to learn from you.”​

Cupid - “Speaking from... past experiences, it seems as though you should work on your aim.”​

Jing Wei & Xing Tian - “I admire your perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, we are not too dissimilar in that way.”​

Loki - “If you haven’t already, I suggest you pay Chiron a visit at some point. He is single after all...”​

Bellona - “Any luck asking Amaterasu out yet? She’s still waiting for you to make a move you know..”​

Raijin - “I’m willing to bet you’re more satisfying in bed than you are an opponent on the battlefield.”​

Bacchus - “I’m not the drinking type... but perhaps you’d like to come in for tea?’​

Achilles - “How’s Patroclus doing? Maybe you should spar with him more often, you’ve gotten rusty.”​

Apollo - “Playing the lyre isn’t the only thing you make look easy.”​

Ravana - “When I see you, the term ‘rope bunny’ comes to mind...”​

jokes

“I hope Cupid doesn’t get jealous of all the time I’m spending with Aphrodite…”​

“Technically I’m not this closely associated with actual rabbits, but the aesthetic was too cute to pass up.”​

“Considering what I’ve been through, I think I’ve earnt the right to proud of who I am.”​

“It is technically homophobia if you hit me. Just saying.”​

“The Jade Rabbit? He’s certainly cute... but I think there’s another rabbit who’s cuter.”​

taunts

Animation: Tu’er Shen draws a neon heart in the air, shooting an arrow through it shortly after.

“[Yawns] I think I might have a nap, perhaps that’ll give you a chance to catch up.”​

“You have an awfully big weapon there, are you compensating for something?”​

“I’ll show you why they say love hurts.”​

“Fighting for your overblown ego isn’t a good reason to wage war.”​

“Take it from a matchmaker, I don’t think anyone’s standards are low enough for you.”​

skin concepts 🐇

new tu’er shen body

floral fairy

squeaky clean, night corps, bunny server

country cowboy, casual, devilish

old tu’er shen body

kitsune, spring revelry, leather bunny

hello nurse, debonair devil 

old notes 🐇

this concept is super inspired by Kaios’ concept for Tu’er Shen (which you’ll find linked in the description of this post), i loved his ideas for rabbit lad and wanted to add more to the concept. my final kit concept is a lil bit similar but i think i’ve changed enough for it to not be a copy lmao. anyways, i’ve wanted a hunter support since i played tyrande a while ago in heroes of the storm. she was super fun and the mix of dealing strong consistent damage and still being able to support allies is something i’d kill to have in smite​

​tu’er shen is also a really cool god, and recently I’ve been prokoved by my mutuals making lots of god concepts when i haven’t made any in a very long time lol (if you remember my other smite oc you’re a real stan). obvs i don’t think hi-rez would do him justice and gamerbros would totally complain about the Gays™ shoving their unsatiable need for Representation™ down their throats and what not but it’s still a fun concept regardless!

new notes 🐇

he’s back and 10x beefier and sluttier looking than ever lmao. the self-insert squad may be missing plenty of people (y’all better come back like...) but it’d be a waste of time and effort to not do more with tu’er shen. also i love him so! i’m still kinda sad over twink tu’er shen being replaced by bara tu’er shen but it’s for the best, he’s v handsome now and big ol bitties in that dress? iconic. he does fit better into the male cast, the added beef makes him more attractive to basically everyone (he’s serving taric teas now lol) and he was a soldier so there’s plenty of reasons to make him a hunk. anyways... i don’t have much to say about the outfit than it’s flawless lol. it was interesting and p fun to make although i always feel awkward about posting drawn stuff in a serious context. it’s weird but i’m happy about the final product 🥰 i’ll try to write more stuff about him soon but don’t expect too much lol

links/resources 🐇

personal

headcanons (they’re a lil outdated in reference to his body lol)

tu’er shen’s tag

original post

my smite oc tag

other

kaios’ super cool concept for tu’er shen you should check out as it’s cooler than mine lol. his art of tu’er shen goes full furry and it’s kinda cute ngl

other links you can read for more information about tu’er shen: 1, 2

a beautiful short film about tu’er shen helping a guy accept his sexuality, gore warning towards the end

thanks for reading if you got to the end! please send asks or whatever, i’m dying for any excuse to talk about him lmao 🐇

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E26 (July 17, 2018)

Tonight’s guests: Matt Mercer, Ashly Burch, and Taliesin Jaffe. Heck, I’m nervous for all three of them.

Announcements: Critical Role will be at the San Diego Comic Con on 7/21 in 6BCF at 6:30pm. The panel will be aired next Tuesday during the TM time slot. They’ll also be at NYCC in October!

CR Stats! Episode 26 had 14 natural 20s, the most of the new campaign. This was in no small part due to Ashly borrowing Tal’s dice because she doesn’t own her own dice bag. There’s so much dice karma happening in that sentence I don’t even know how to handle it. It ties with episodes 55, 61, and 100. Keg has the most natural 20s of any single-episode guesting with 4. Molly got the M9′s 100th kill. He leads the party with 21 kills in all. “Hot murder streak.”

We’ve seen seven of Molly’s cards so far: the silver dragon, anvil, serpent, eye, moon, shadow, and the chariot. Tal says the serpent may be the same as the dragon, but he’ll check.

This was Ashly’s first time guesting on the show proper--previously she’d only been on oneshots. Biggest difference? “There were less people dying on the oneshots!”

Matt and Brian both take a moment to applaud Ashly’s characterization and sticking to the true roleplaying of her character over any min-maxing of the dice she might have done otherwise. Tal says the math would have come out either way as it was. It’s the first time she’s ever done something like that in a D&D game.

Matt always prefers roleplaying over what’s strategically optimal, especially since the moments where you falter and fail often lead to the true “hero” arc for your character. “It was very wild and unique to watch the cocksure exterior crumble.”

Everyone’s been kind to Ashly directly since The Incident. It’s only whispers she’d heard indirectly.

Tal already hadn’t slept the night before; he didn’t that night either, just curled up and thought until dawn. He realized in panic that he’d never come up with a backup character as Matt had asked months ago; he has rolled a new one since then, but he spent most of the weekend coping with making a new character in three days after spending six months on Molly. Bless.

Brian woke Ashley up during the live show when he heard Taliesin say “my Blood Maledict’s going to kill me” so that they could watch the rest together. He realized that Matt was hesitating a lot more than usual as things went on, that Matt seemed to be hinting more and more strongly that the impending encounter was about to go very badly for the M9.

Matt designed the Iron Shepherds to be a very dangerous, powerful group when they are all together (as they were that night). He’d planned for several options: the M9 following and never catching up, waiting to gather intel until Shady Creek, catching up but only observing from a distance, and for the actual battle itself. He tried to give them clues about how dangerous they would actually be: that there were more than five enemies, that Ashly’s character knew how dangerous they were, that they were prepared and tough-looking. However, he never wants to be too heavy-handed in guiding the players’ hands. His intent with the battle was to show some surprises and that the M9 didn’t know what they were dealing with, and had hoped that the M9 would take the hint and back out sooner than they did.

Brian could tell that Matt was very visibly affected as the fight went on, which Matt points out was in part due to how late it was. He allowed the battle to occur because he didn’t plan for it to be a long one (the Iron Shepherds were going to speed away...until the M9 dropped the tree across the road). Then he had no idea what was going to happen during the battle. He adds that DMs sometimes end up with encounters harder than they’d plan, and it was nervewracking because as much as he cares for these characters, he also has a responsibility to be true to the strength of the enemies and the realities of the dice. There were a lot of ways the fight could have still gone, but didn’t (parlay, discussion, more ambushing, better dice rolls).

If Keg hadn’t stepped up and used her relationship specifically with Lorenzo to halt the battle, it would have gotten way, way worse for the M9, including the kidnapping of more of the M9 to be sold.

Lorenzo has a specific vanity and enjoyment of power over other people, and Keg’s intervention played straight into that. It’s the only reason that encounter didn’t go more poorly.

Some of the Iron Shepherds’ background information was known by Keg; some was deliberate misleading on the part of the Shepherds to keep Keg in the dark.

Keg wasn’t happy about Caleb’s charming, but Keg knew there was no way she could take on the Shepherds on her own. She has a facade of being cocksure and proud but is truly a coward, and knew that taking them on alone would kill her. The charming was a “necessary evil.”

Taliesin knew the risks of the Maledict but planned to give Lorenzo disadvantage, hopefully dodge the next two attacks, and escape as soon as Lorenzo engaged with Beau. Then the dice came up with the rest of his HP and that was that.

Matt did in fact roll the Golden Snitch for the bad guys this game. Brian: “Let’s not give him the most powerful die in the game next time.” Tal: “Oh, it’s going to go mysteriously missing any day now.”

Lorenzo was not visibly afraid at any point during this fight. Matt declines to elaborate further.

GIF of the Week! u/rndmanswrs4rndmqstns from Reddit, for a gif of the battle map from last episode superimposed with a tragic news ticker footage of the slaughter.

Molly’s final words were an easy choice. “He’s not complicated in that direction, and his feelings on violence and death are easy.” Tal says it didn’t fully hit him until hours later. Still, Molly never really felt ownership of his own self; it all still felt borrowed. He knew death would come eventually and probably earlier rather than later. “As ways to go existed, I think that was a very Molly way to go.”

Matt thinks these reminders of mortality are important...depending on the type of story you’re trying to tell. Their game needs the stakes of having the risk of death, although that’s not what would be fun for every game and should not always be on the table. However, they know each other so well that he feels it’s an important reminder that there are consequences for their actions and that it suits the world they live in. Tal points out that the same thing is true for so many types of fiction: “they’re only fine because they’re not real.” Sometimes these stories happen in a vacuum and the hero is immortal...and sometimes, as in their game, they’re not. Matt thinks it’s important to be able to grieve and feel catharsis for even a fictional character (and cites a particular death from C1 as an example for himself). Matt: “In a weird, macabre way, I’m excited to see where the story goes from here.” Brian: “Me, too.” Tal: “Me, too. I mean, at first I was panicking, but now I have a pretty good idea.”

Ashly initially panicked when Matt revealed the Iron Shepherds’ abilities (since she thought she’d misremembered what Matt had said), but then felt even more justified in her RP. Everything felt worse because so many people were gone, including Laura and Travis. “I felt like the babysitter who dropped the baby.” She felt the whole time during the fight that they shouldn’t be engaging the way they were.

Molly’s final thoughts were “easy and simple and base...the immense, reasonable, and wonderfully sustaining emotion of ‘well, fuck you, too,’ which is the righteous and more reasonable cousin to ‘fuck you.’“ No fear, no panic.

The Iron Shepherds existed as part of the worldbuilding in the northern region and were intended to be a later issue, but Matt wove them into the story soon since Laura & Travis had to leave. He wasn’t intending for them to become such an immediate, intense antagonistic force, but DMs have to adapt to the situations and this one felt natural.

Cut to Dani Cam, who had a very hard Thursday night ( :( ). She asks Ashly how Keg, someone very self-preservational, decided to sacrifice herself for the M9. Ashly remembered that in their discussions, Matt characterized Lorenzo as someone who liked to make examples of people, and thought that if she prostrated herself in front of him, he might maim her but not kill her, which turned out to be accurate--so it was still fairly self-preservational on her part. They’ll find out more next week. Ashly will be with us the next two sessions and will be joining the crew at GenCon! Heck yes!!

As much as Tal likes Matt’s Lingering Soul class, he would never consider it as an option for Mollymauk. “There’s no version of Molly coming back as a ghost that doesn’t end with him desperately wanting it to be over.” Matt designed it more narratively to be a person whose sheer force of will keeps them from accepting the moment of death due to unfinished business or the pure determination to live...which they both feel is the exact opposite of Molly.

Matt liked how Taliesin showed that all personalities can play the Blood Hunter, not just the edgy grimdark type.

Fanart of the Week! @jesttothenines, with this pain. Ow.

If Molly hadn’t run to Lorenzo, Beau would have likely been his example instead. Molly was an easier target, though, because he was closer and more hurt. If Beau had been unconscious instead (and not dead) when Keg made her plea, Lorenzo might have asked what she was willing to trade to get Beau back.

This is the second of Tal’s characters Matt’s killed. The first one was a mad monk who liked to set things on fire who was eaten by ghouls.

Dani: “Why can’t this campaign be happy? And fairies?!” Matt: “We had the fairies last campaign in the Feywild! They murdered the pixies! They sided with the werewolves!”

After last campaign, Tal and Dani hugged while Dani cried pretty hard. Then Tal went home and cried himself. He left the table during the episode because he was on the verge of having a panic attack and couldn’t handle watching everyone else panic as well.

Ashly thought she was going to have a limb lopped off at minimum when Lorenzo had her kneel. She didn’t expect to be let go unscathed. 

Molly would have considered his death “worth it” if he knew it meant Beau was spared. In a way, it helps that he now has an “eternal one-up” on her. Matt: “That’s very Molly of him.”

The persuasion success from Keg was a chief reason Lorenzo spared them, but it was also because the rest of the M9 were insignificant gnats to him. Keg’s reaction was the only one he cared about, so as soon as she gave in he’d gotten what he wanted. Then he just wanted to set the example and spread the word.

Ashly hadn’t meant to let them know she’d been part of the slavers until Shady Creek, but actually likes how it came out.

Matt really doesn’t think it was an overall bad plan. It was just a few strategic missteps, some very bad dice rolls, and an enemy that outmatched them.

Dani recalls to us all that Molly had told us it would be a cursed trip.

Molly’s parting advice to the M9: Tal declines to think about it much in depth. “Life’s short, eat a bagel. Join the circus. Lighten up. Life’s short; do something to a bagel.”

The illusion that cloaks the cages under the tarp means that even if the missing three of the M9 are in there, they wouldn’t have seen Molly’s death.

Molly is no different in Taliesin’s head than he was last week, which is why he's having a slightly easier time with this than everyone else. “He’s no different for me, I just don’t get to trot him out on Thursday.” He was based off of several friends, some who have passed away, and several experiences he had as a teenager and places and people he knew that profoundly affected him. He mentions a song off the soundtrack for Wristcutters: A Love Story, since that movie had a lot of “good carnie family vibes” about weird people taking care of each other. There was an archetype in film that was very much Molly which Tal hasn’t seen in a long time, and he explains: there’s a way of living a life where you don’t give a fuck about what people think but you do give a fuck about people. He never needed to be fixed and he never needed permission for anything. He’s not Iron Man where you’re waiting to see him become a good person, and he was never a creature of profound change like Captain America, where you watch to see the good they make on the world; his unfinished business was in each interaction he had with the people in the world and making them deal with him, but making sure that dealing with him was always a positive and kind experience. Matt gets very emotional at the description. Me too, friend.

His favorite part of playing him was being a teenager version of himself; the art and cosplay were spectacular. And the terrible accent, of course.

Brian takes a moment to thank Taliesin for making memorable characters and memorable choices that have a bigger impact than what only they can see. He looked at all the tributes for Molly this week because he wanted to get a feel for how the community was feeling so that they could hone the questions for the show. The character meant a lot to a lot of different types of people, and it’s a testament to Tal’s heart that people connected so much with this character.

Brian, Matt, and Tal are all crying at this point. Ashly starts reactive-crying. Dani’s crying on the Dani Cam. This is AWFUL.

After Dark: QQ Edition

We open laughing (relieving change) since everyone’s hurled obscenities at Brian just before the show went live. Matt enjoys being on the other side of that for once.

Beau is the member of the M9 who’s best earned the right to wear Molly’s coat. “She’s the one who needs to lighten up. Caleb’s never going to lighten up and that’s okay. Jester doesn’t need it. Fjord doesn’t need it. That’s not Nott’s problem.”

Keg is super interested in Nott’s never-ending flask. “I’m abandoning this super dramatic narrative. I’m going for the flask.”

A TPK was possible if the M9 kept throwing themselves at the Iron Shepherds, but Matt knew they were smarter than that and would either flee or give themselves up as Keg did. “It relied on the players’ actions at that point; that’s why I was so nervous. I was like, this is the scenario I built and now we have to see it through.”

Tal honestly doesn’t remember what Liam said to him when he left the table right after him. It was mostly a “well, that happened,” and Liam just refilled his drink before going back to the table.

Tal went home after the show, cried in bed, and then the sun came up and he realized he had no idea for a new character. He spent so much time working on Molly that he never got around to making anything else. He came up with his next idea in about thirteen-fourteen hours, and he’s very happy with it. Matt points out he was explicitly clear about how they needed to come up with backup characters when the campaign started. “These low levels are dangerous!”

Everyone addresses the new studio in terms most respectful and patient, asking it to be benevolent now that it’s had its blood sacrifice. 

Keg’s going to grow a vengeance beard.

Brian talks about Ashley’s reaction on the couch; she leaned forward on her knees, looked over at Brian, and said, “I’m gonna kill that motherfucker.” Brian said, “Yeah, you probably will.” They now have a formidable villain for the early campaign.

Tal can’t even answer the question about how Yasha will react when she finds out. “Oh, no. Oh, no.”

Matt and Brian have a retrospective moment of panic about how good it is Yasha wasn’t there that night, since she’s a rage-based barbarian. Matt, wide-eyed: “There would have been no parlay. Oh, no. Next question.”

Keg’s favorite moments were the secret-sharing with Nott and the conversation with Beau. Matt loved their meeting: “When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. It was beautiful.”

Brian’s first desire after the show was to rage-tweet Matt Colville. He, apparently, refrained.

 Matt thinks the threat of death should be present and played out when it happens, but he never likes playing DM-vs.-player.

Tal smiled when Molly was being killed because that was both Molly’s reaction, and because Tal himself is a nervous smiler.

Matt doesn’t consider this revenge for Tal killing him off so soon in the Vampire oneshot; Tal reminds us that he knew Matt knew about the very specific subclass he’d given Matt and they both knew what would happen when he went outside.

Tal and Matt reminisce about early PC deaths. “What was that, 2012?” Ashly: “Aw, you guys have killed each other so much!”

They’re asked about the best lie they’ve ever told. Tal convinced someone a nonsense Pirate Queen existed; Matt doesn’t really lie, but when he senses gullibility he doubles down until reality’s rearranged.

Tal started wearing black when Jim Henson died...except that he forbade black at his funeral. The camera zooms in on Tal’s iridescent loafers & his peacock paisley shirt: “This is Molly’s funeral shirt.”

Ashly will definitely be back on Thursday; Tal will be back as soon as the narrative allows it. He’s prepared for Thursday if it works out.

And that’s where it wraps up tonight. Be good to each other; it’s almost Thursday.

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

An X Co. Xmas

12 Days of Christmas OTP Challenge

Day 1: Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.

A/N: well this is starting off great im already late on the first day, but i was getting wrecked by uni and wanted to do some research first so please correct me if i made any mistakes concerning Hanukkah! This is actually so long but I had a lot of fun writing it <3 Also i recently started binge watching the office and i just finished my finals which incidentally was for management so here goes!

❄  ❊  ❄  ❊  ❄  ❊

i. an infuriating announcement

"You're shitting me, Ro," you deadpan, already feeling like giving up. "Can't someone else do it? Anyone?!"

"Sorry, the rest of the team already have their assignments for the month, and this is yours— and Peter's."

Being in charge of the big X Company Christmas party is an event you've wanted to take the lead on since you joined this department, but being paired up with none other than Peter Maximoff, makes this the best opportunity and the worst case scenario.  

"But he's an idiotic man-child!" You're not even sure how he made his way up to being part of this project management team. You assume it must have something to do with his father being co-chairman of the company. "Yesterday he ordered fifteen pizzas under my name!"

"To be fair, you did glue all his pens and pencils together last week," she smirks, and lets out a small laugh at the memory. "In any case, the project groups for this month have been divided by aptitudes and experience like they always are, and you two ended up together because everyone else was matched up with other projects. I know you two don't exactly get along the best, but upper management is on my ass and the rest of the team is already totally booked with the hectic holiday season."

"Is there anything you can do?"

"Sorry, babe," she apologizes, and give you a sympathetic lopsided smile.

"What's the use of being best friends with the boss if I can't get sorted with a better partner," you grumble with a playful smile, because you obviously love Ororo, but you're not sure how long you'll last without wanting to do something that might land you in HR.

"If it's any consolation, he's not thrilled about being your partner either."

  ❄  ❄  ❄

ii. an idiotic man-child

"This obviously isn't working out—"

"We can't agree on anything—"

"You two are supposed to be coordinating this event together—" Ororo ducks her head between her hands and exhales out of exasperation as she rubs her temples.

"She locked me in the conference room!"

"He put all my office supplies in Jell-O!"

"You need to stop bickering like children and get your shit together!" She stands from her desk, chiding you and Peter. You both sit in adjacent chairs in front of her and you feel like you're back and school and have landed yourself in the principal's office. "I can't be babysitting you constantly, so you'll just have to pull it together and figure it out before you get kicked off this team!"

You and Peter nod in unison, and then exchange side glares at each other when Ororo is sitting back down. She is an amazing manager, and to be fair you and Peter had spent the last thirty minutes complaining about one another, so it's understandable that her patience is running thin.

She takes a moment to collect herself, smoothing out her skirt and tucking a loose strand of hair back into her tight bun. "As I've told you before, it's too late to add or exchange team members with their assignments this month, but I can give you the intern to help you out."

"Kurt?"

"Yes, I've already sent him a memo and he'll be back in the bullpen waiting for you." With that, she dismisses you, and you walk out of her office with Peter following right behind you.

"I hope you don't plan on nagging the intern to death, wouldn't want to scare the poor kid away," he taunts you, catching up to your quicker walking pace to beside you.

"I hope you can actually do your job for once, so that he won't have to do it for you," you retort, without even glancing his way.

"Chill, princess—"

"We don't all have a boss for a father who will help us float to the top— I had to work my ass off to get here and I'm not going to let you drag me down!" You're fuming, and judging by the slight falter in his usual smirk, you think you might have gone too far.

He doesn't say anything for a moment, and then you see Kurt smiling and waving at both of you from across the room. You offer him an awkward smile and Peter gives him a weak wave, both of you dampened from your exchange.

There's no point in wasting any more time with the fast-approaching deadline, so you turn to him, totally neutral and say, "We have work to do, let's just delegate tasks and check up on each other later."

  ❄  ❄  ❄

iii. an unmethodical arrangement

"Damn it!" Peter shouts from his desk, and you look up at him from your computer, distracted by his sudden outburst. He slams the phone back into place in hanging up, and you raise an eyebrow at him. "That's the third band to cancel," he says, exhaling slowly to calm himself down.

He was in charge of music, and as the project deadline approaches with the holidays, it's getting harder to lock down on services. Even you're having a hard time trying to find a restaurant that's available to cater. You decide to give your tired eyes a rest by closing your monitor and leaning back in your chair, blinking a few times to adjust to more favourable lighting.

You're both exhausted from running around all day, and you already sent the intern home a few hours ago. Furthermore, watching the sun set so early through the widow walls, and always having to work so many hours after dark has been getting really depressing. Despite it being demanding and requiring crazy hours, you do love this job.

"Tell me about it, all the restaurants are long overbooked."

There's a moment where all you hear is the clicking of Peter's fingers gliding over the keyboard and then he speaks up, "My mom is friends with this restaurant owner who owes her a favour." He turns his monitor to show you a simplistic webpage. "It's a small family business, they're not going to be booked because they don't advertise their catering service, and they have a menu that can suit all kinds of food restrictions."

"That's great!" you exclaim, taking note of the restaurant name. "Okay, now we just need to find the music." You let out a low sigh, and pull out your planning binder to hopefully gain some inspiration or answers. This fails you, as you end up merely staring blankly at the flipping pages— that is until you fall on one in particular that could help you out. "Hey Peter," you call out to him, and he stops spinning to face you. "What about Warren?"

"What about Warren?" He asks, curious as to why you're bringing up your old teammate. You worked on a lot of projects with Warren before he got promoted to higher management last year.

"He has a bunch of connections, and he hired this great DJ for one of the big fundraisers last year. Why don't we ask him?"

"That's actually not a bad idea, I'll email him." Peter smiles, scribbling on a sticky note and posting it on his computer screen. "But I'll take care of that tomorrow morning," he thinks out loud. "Can we meet earlier tomorrow morning?"

Glancing at the clock, you wonder why the hell he would want to meet earlier since you two have been working so late. "Why?"

"Hanukkah starts tomorrow," he answers simply. "It's already been approved by management, but we are partners so I just wanna make sure you're cool with it."

"Yeah, that's fine," you reply, giving him a small smile. Honestly, this is the longest you two have gone without bickering, but it actually feels nice to be getting along with him.

"All right, I'm gonna call it quits for tonight," he says, gathering his bag and coat. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Y/N."

"Have a good night."

  ❄  ❄  ❄

iv. an evening before

Everything since those little speed bumps you hit concerning the music and food has run really smoothly, and you and Peter have been getting along a lot better since that late night in the office. You developed a steady work flow and actually found yourself laughing at some of his lame jokes. Peter was surprised when he realized that he no longer subconsciously rolled his eyes every time you opened your mouth, and he'd feel himself light up when you greeted him in the morning.

"I think everything should be fine," Peter announces, as you check off the items on the task list.

"All the services are on schedule, and the design department is putting the final touches in the hall," Kurt reports, tucking a few stray papers back into his planner.

"All right, then you may be dismissed, we'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning to greet the caterers and waiting staff." Kurt nods, and bids you and Peter a good evening before heading off into the gentle snowfall of NYC. "We finished with an hour to spare," You smile at Peter who loosens his tie as you both gather your things and head out of the building together. "It'll give me extra time to try not to stress out about tomorrow."

Peter chuckles, and nods in agreement to your statement. "I'll be able to go surprise my sister and pick her up from school."

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, my little sister, Wanda, she's in middle school and hates the school bus."

"I totally understand, the bus is another kind of hell."

He opens his mouth to say goodbye, but then you remember that you had something for him, and you reach into your bag to pull out a present tied up in a pretty satin bow. "Before you go, I have something for you," you say shyly, not sure why you feel a heat creeping up to your cheeks when you notice how charming Peter looks with snowflakes resting delicately on his dark eyelashes.

"What's this for?" He asks, curious about the neatly wrapped box you place in his hands.

"Today is the last day of Hanukkah isn't it?"

"Yeah," he confirms, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He tears the wrapping off, opens the box, and pulls out the dreidel you put inside. "I'm sorry, it's kind of lame— you probably have a ton of them."

"No, this is really great," he says with a smile, turning the top in his hands to admire the craftsmanship. You happened to walk past a kiosk with handmade dreidels when you had to take a different way home the previous night, and couldn't help but notice how pretty they were. "Thank you, Y/N."

A few seconds pass by awkwardly where you're both smiling, but aren't sure what to do, until Peter leans forward and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. The foreign affection from him is completely new, but surprisingly warm, comfortable, and welcome. You've just let yourself melt into the hug when he breaks off, and it's like you've been snapped out of a daze and left out in the cold. Still feeling slightly disoriented, you wish him a happy Hanukkah, and leave it at that before you make a fool of yourself. You start to head off towards the subway when Peter calls out to you.

"Do you—" He hesitates for a moment, unsure of what he's asking exactly.

"Did you say something?" You turn back around to face him and he stutters for a moment, because the sun shining perfectly on your features with snow falling all around you has him unable to process anything else around him. "Peter?"

"D-Do you want to come? I figure it's better than trying not to stress out at home alone."

Your lips curve up into a smile and you're not even conscious of how much your heart rate has picked up yet. Everything is sorted for the company party tomorrow, and you've discovered that Peter isn't too bad to be around, so what's the harm?

"Sure."

  ❄  ❄  ❄

v. an important night

"Wow—" Peter utters breathlessly, stunned by the sight of you entering the hall. Last time he saw you was less than a half hour ago, and he'd be lying if he were to say that he weren't impressed by your quick transformation. Just moments ago you were running around in your work clothes, with a clipboard and unruly hairs sticking out in all wrong places. Now that the party's started and everything is running smoothly, you seem a lot more calm and managed to fix up your hair and makeup flawlessly. He hadn't seen your dress yet, and even though he thought you were still the prettiest person in the room in your stressed out mess, you're definitely a showstopper now.

"You should wipe the drool off your chin before Y/N notices," Scott smirks at Peter as he walks up to him with Jean on his arm. As if on cue, you notice Peter and your other team members from across the room and wave at the group, a smile gracing your lips that makes Peter weak in the knees. Scott, of course, notices this and feels the need to tease him about it. "If I didn't know how much you two hate each other's guts, I'd think you might actually like each other as more than just archenemies."

"Scott, leave the poor guy alone," Jean chimes in, grinning playfully. "He obviously has it bad."

"You guys don't know what you're talking about." Peter runs a hand through his silver hair that's neatly coiffed for once. "Y/N and I are just partners on this event, and then everything is going to go back to normal," He laughs it off, despite what he just said settling uncomfortably in his mind. Working with you over the last few weeks has brought out the best in both of you; you've been getting along great, even having a couple of inside jokes, and last night he had so much fun. The way your eyes would light up with genuine interest as you listened to his explanations of the rituals, how well you seemed to fit in with his family, and Wanda, she adored you. He found himself frequently gazing at you with a goofy grin on his face, not even realizing he was staring until you'd make eye contact with him, and then he'd get all flustered from being caught.

All this to say that he's very confused about his feelings. He likes the relationship akin to friendship the two of you have developed, but he also feels something more. The thought that makes him more uncomfortable is: what will happen when this is over? Will you just be disbanded and assigned to different projects after? Will you go back to being at each other's throats, will you still be friendly with each other, or will you just never speak again unless you're assigned to the same project again?

"Peter, you need to calm down." Jean interrupts his overthinking, offering him a comforting smile. "Go ask her to dance."

"It's like you read my mind," He shoots her a wink and finishes off his drink before heading off in your direction.

"Hey Peter," You greet him after excusing yourself from a group conversation. "This is going great isn't it?"

"Y-Yeah, it's awesome."

"Who would've known we'd make a half-decent team?" You grin at him playfully, and also notice that he seems a little spaced out. "Are you okay, Maximoff?"

"Do y-you wanna dance?"

"It would be my pleasure," You extend your hand, and he takes it in his larger one, leading you to the dance floor where he slips his other arm around your waist. He starts to guide you is slow circles, feet following the rhythm of the smooth tune. Throughout the course of the song, your bodies get closer to one another, and you hope he can't tell how warm your cheeks are upon realizing this. "Wow, Peter, where'd you learn to dance like this?"

"My, uh, mom made me take lessons when I was younger," he says sheepishly, a blush creeping its way onto his face.

"I'm impressed."

The song ends, and you thank each other for the dance. This is the when you'd normally break apart, but neither of you moves— neither of you wants to. The next song starts to play and you're the only ones not moving on the dance floor.

"You look amazing, by the way," he tells you, and you feel like you're lungs are failing you.

"Thanks, you clean up real nice yourself." Another few seconds go by without anything happening, other than the tension continuously building.

"Well- th-thanks for the dance, a-and being a good partner."

Peter mentally slaps himself as you smile and start to walk off the dance floor. There's obviously something there, why didn't he do anything? Idiot. Just when he thinks he's blown his only chance, you spin on your heel and march back to the spot he hasn't moved from, pull him down by the shoulders to press your lips against his. He barely has time to process what's happening before you pull back, leaving him reeling.

"Whoa," is all he can manage to get out. It was only a few seconds, but your kiss took all the air out of his lungs.

"May I have this dance?" You ask nervously, taking a shot at the dark, hoping he feels the same way you do.

He doesn't say anything else, unable to keep the goofy grin off his face. Instead of speaking, he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his body and leans in for another kiss. His soft lips move against yours gently, and as you let your eyes flutter shut, you feel that same warmth as when he first hugged you the previous night.

When you break apart, neither of you can keep the smiles off your face, and you happily let him lead you in circles on the dance floor.

  ❄  ❄  ❄

vi. an extra scene

Peter hugs you from behind and presses a quick kiss to your cheek before heading to his desk.

"Congrats you two!" You and Peter both jump at Ororo's less-than-subtle entrance. "The party was a hit, and upper management wants to add you to the New Year fundraiser event planning team!"

You both thank her for the opportunity and accept the detail files she hands you.

"Oh, and congrats for the other thing too," She says, gesturing between you and Peter. "You know what that means, right?"

"We get a raise for organizing the party of the year?" Peter half-jokingly suggests.

"Real funny," she chuckles, making her way to her office. "You're going to have to file this with HR, now."

[linaseraphina13]

A jascalronmara fic? Like maybe a date or smth? Honestly that would be adorable . Or maybe a YOI au?? Idk. Thoughts.

Someone else requested Jasper angst so I tried to combine the two requests and it devolved into some crazy shit so here’s my 1:00 am ramblings.

Somehow Call ends up with his own personal harem by the time silver year rolls around.

“I don’t understand. Why does everyone have a crush on me?,” he asks no one, staring off into the middle distance while Tamara consolingly pats his head. “I am literally so undesirable. I have nothing to offer. I am the Enemy of Death.”

“You’re also very adorable and a fluffy idiot,” Tamara tells him. “Like a puppy. A rabid wolf puppy. Who’s also an emo piece of shit.”

“And you have that whole ‘bad-boy’ vibe going on, too,” Aaron pipes up helpfully, trying to seem casual but clearly over-joyed about getting to discuss his favorite topic: Callum Hunt. “It’s no wonder if you think about it. The gray eyes/black hair/southern accent thing is a deadly combination.”

Call just shakes his head, too bewildered over everything to make sense of anything.

He thought Celia was bad enough, but it was like after the whole kiss thing a floodgate opened up, because people started treating him differently. Casual touches increased with alarming frequency, girls batting their eyelashes at him in the hallways, boys offering to carry things for him even though he’s never spoken to some of them in his entire life. Even Tamara and Aaron started showing signs of liking him.

It was Bronze year when he walked in on his two best friends literally fighting over him with like, balls of fire and chaos magic and all types of dangerous shit, and Master Rufus was so pissed about the whole thing that he locked all three of them in the common room and gave them exactly one hour to work it out or he would never let them out again, ever. Honestly, it only took them five minutes before they were crying and hugging each other and realizing that letting romance get in the way of their friendship was stupid, so they came up with a solution that would be beneficial to all without destroying their relationship with each other.

Long story short, Call’s dating both of them now.

“Y’all act like dark-skinned, dark-haired Southern boys are hard to come by,” he complains. “Like, look at Johnny from the Outsiders.”

“Johnny was hot as fuck,” Tamara stresses, and Aaron nods enthusiastically in agreement.

“Johnny’s dead, Tamara.”

“So? He was still hot.” She leans back in her chair, eyes closed in bliss like she’s imagining she’s in the Outsiders. “A tiny kid, but tough. Had a wild look to him. But also had this sort of adorable naivety that was just so pure. Quiet and withdrawn. A real softboy.” She opens her eyes. “Nothing like you, of course, but you get the idea.”

“Wow. Thanks. I really appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” says Aaron helpfully. “I’m pretty sure half the girls in school only like you because you have a dog.”

“It doesn’t, but thanks.”

Aaron beams.

Just then, Jasper enters the refectory looking miserable as hell and with bags under his eyes so heavy they might as well be designer. Even zombified and sleep-deprived Jasper looks like a damn model, although admittedly his hair kind of looks like he stuck it inside a wind tunnel (Call still can’t believe he makes it look like that on purpose).

Jasper looks up briefly as if sensing eyes on him. Call gives a sheepish wave in his direction. Jasper consequently flips him off.

“Well, he looks like he got hit by a bus,” Tamara says cheerfully, then turns back to her lichen. “Call, can you pass the salt?”

He’s not listening. He’s glancing over at Jasper with a look that’s almost invasive. “Do you think Jasper has a crush on me?”

Aaron and Tamara exchange glances. “Why?”

His fingers drum impatiently on the table. His expression morphs from invasive to borderline constipated and he makes a noise. “I don’t know. I have feelings, I think.”

His S.O’s make identical faces of both surprise and disgust. “Call, no.”

“I can’t help it. I think I’m going crazy.” His hands are shaking like he’s about to have a manic episode. “He’s an asshole, but he’s hot, you don’t understand. I need it.”

“Not only are you totally insane for developing a crush on the one person in this entire school who doesn’t have a crush on you, but you’re also a self-destructive idiot.” Tamara looks like she’s not sure if she should laugh at him or pity him, but she seems to be leaning more toward the ‘you’re a dumbass and I’m going to keep calling you a dumbass until your eyes are opened to your dumbassery ways” territory. “He’s taken, honey.”

Call shifts his gaze to Celia, who’s twirling blond hair around her finger and laughing like the totally pretty and beautiful queen she is. Asshole. “I can take her.”

“You can’t. She’s a blackbelt, remember?”

He sucks in a sharp breath between his teeth. “Shit, you’re right.” Then his knee starts to bounce sporadically when Jasper brushes a few strands of hair out of his eyes. “I don’t care. I’ll still fight her.”

“Even if you do manage to trap him,” Aaron says, calling a direct reference to him describing each and every poor soul that gets sucked into Call’s “charm” as trapped against their will, “Are you sure he’s going to be okay with…us?”

Call’s not exactly sure what the they have going on here, but he wants Jasper in on it too, dammit. “I don’t know,” he whines, frustrated. “I think he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Aaron says at the exact moment Tamara goes, “Oh he definitely hates you.” And Aaron shoots her a warning look that she just shrugs off. “We’re all friends, Call. I’m sure if he really hated you he wouldn’t have helped Tamara break you out of prison that one time, right?”

He has a point. Now Call doesn’t know what to think.

“Try thinking of things you have in common,” Aaron suggests. “What are his hobbies?”

“Besides making my life a living hell and studying?,” Call muses. “I dunno. He likes comic books, I think.”

“Then give him a comic book,” Tamara says. “Bitches love comic books.”

Gwenda, who’s passing by their table, says, “I am a bitch and I can assure you that that statement is correct.”

Jasper says something to Celia and starts to get up and Call begins to sweat. “Hhhh, hurry up, guys, he’s leaving.”

“Take him on a date.”

“A movie date,” Tamara inputs.

“At the gallery?” He scrunches up his nose in disgust. “No way, that’s totally cliche.”

“It’s not like you have a lot of options.” Jasper is leaving the refectory, so Tamara tosses a random bouquet of flowers she conjured up with magic and plants a firm boot into his butt to propel him forward. “Go forth, Romeo. Woo thy Juliet.”

He tails Jasper to his room, slipping into the still-closing door like a freaking ninja and James Bonding his way across the common room floor because he’s a badass, managing to keep the flowers from getting crushed while also looking cool as shit doing it. Unfortunately it seems that the flowers Tamara gave him are the exact kind that Call’s allergic to, so by the time he makes it to Jasper’s door and the taller boy opens it, Call is practically crying from how much his eyes are burning.

“What the fuck do you want.”

Call is squinting and his nose is on fire and he probably looks like he’s been punched in the face a couple of times but Jasper is both beautiful and decidedly Unaffected by his misfortune. “Please…take them,” he begs in a hoarse whisper, shoving the flowers in Jasper’s face.

Jasper takes them and immediately tosses them to the floor. “What. The fuck. Do you want.”

It would be so easy to just say, “Your sweet lovin’”, but he physically restrains himself. Instead, he goes, “You look like shit. Everything okay, snookums?”

Smooth.

“I will literally call the police if you don’t leave right now,” he responds, and tries to close the door in his face, but Call moves his bad foot in the way before he can (ow).

“Wait, just hear me out,” he pleads with him. “This is a life or death situation.”

The asian boy eyes him warily. Call is transfixed by his hair. “I highly doubt that, but you have my permission to continue.”

Sweet. Call clears his throat and tries to casually lean up against the wall, hands in his pockets. “So. I heard you like comic books.”

“…yes?”

“Cool, cool.” He slyly studies his fingernails like he’s seen Jasper do on many occasions when he’s trying to convey that he’s interested but not too interested. “What if I told you that I knew a way to get you as many comic books as you wanted without paying a dime?”

Jasper squints at him. “Are you trying to sell me drugs?”

“Depends. Would you like some? I got all the good shit- laffy taffy, mentos, and if you’re feeling particularly wild i got some rasperry fun dip-”

“Call, I don’t have the patience for your antics today,” he interrupts, rubbing at his temples. He looks really tired. Like, really really tired.

Call is immediately locked into defensive friend mode. “What happened? Who hurt you? Do I have to break some ankles or what?”

“It’s just…” He sighs, leaning against the doorframe. Even bent down a little he’s still a full head taller than Call. Call wants to climb him like a tree. “Celia and I broke up.”

Call gasps in mock horror but on the inside he be popping all the bottles. “That bitch!”

He glares at him. “Don’t call her a bitch. I broke up with her.”

“Oh.” He deflates a little. “Not a bitch then. Why’d you dump her?”

“Why do you care?”

“I may be in the market for another addition to the Callum Hunt Dream Team,” he admits, and at Jasper’s blank stare, he adds, “Not Celia. You. I like you. And stuff. Yeah.”

A slow blink. “Uh.”

Call decides to throw all caution to the wind. He grasps a very startled Jasper by the wrists and looks deeply into his eyes. “Jasper,” he says seriously. “Join my harem.”

“What.”

“Please,” he hisses. His eyes are wild and he knows it. “I’m a dying man, Jasper. Don’t deny a dying man of his final wishes.”

“There is something wrong with you,” Jasper tells him with complete sincerity. “Like, I’m serious. You need mental assistance.”

“I’m not hearing a no.”

“If I say yes will you leave me alone?”

“Probably not,” he admits.

Jasper sighs. “Fair enough.” In one swift movement, he dislodges his wrists and slams the door in his face.

“I won’t give up!,” Call yells through the wood separating him from his lost love. “Mark my words, DeWinter, you will join the harem if my life depends on it!”

“Fuck off!,” Jasper’s voice comes muffled through the door. The fact that he responded at all is a miracle and Call decides that’s a win for him.

idk i’m supposed to be writing a 500 word essay and instead i write 1800 words of this bullshit i dont think im going to sleep tonight

[soundsandnoises]

Green Day with Rancid in Sheffield Arena (03/07/2017)

Green Day's shows have always been so much more than [punk] rock concerts. There are all these things beyond, from Pink Bunny entertaining the crowd right before the show starts, through toilet/water/t-shirt gun to various kinds of confetti. The Grand Spectacle. Perfectly played to amuse the gawking crowd. But this time somehow I could see beyond the curtain and veil of theatre's magic seemed to have some holes. Even though it was perfectly performed and delivered I could see it was indeed "performed" rather than done spontaneously. Like a joke rehearsed one time too many. 

Don't get me wrong, the show did not lack amusement factor, just felt "played". I'm sure they've had fun onstage - it didn't seem play pretend, but here and there I could feel there was an autopilot turned on, routine took over (I'm not judging, with such a production and amount of shows you just repeat what's appealing to the audience). Saying that I must state that they are in incredible shape, always give 110% (or more), don't slow down for a second. Billie Joe's vocals are phenomenal: fast pace, change of pace, highs and lows - he does them all with boyish charm. And it's always long set containing their biggest hits, add pyrotechnics, confetti, dazzling lights and costumes and you get fabulous frame for stage shenanigans. 

Shenanigans like a carnival on 'King for a Day' (with 'Careless Whisper' snippet) + mash up [Shout / Teenage Kicks / Always Look on the Bright Side of Life / (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction / Hey Jude]. Well designed intermission between smash hits parade. 

 Green Day's songs tend to observe what is happening outside our windows, songs from 'American Idiot', '21st Century Breakdown' and 'Revolution Radio' are grim commentary to grim reality. And 'American Idiot' is relevant and current more than ever. And we reap what we sow. But if we listen and are willing to change, to do something - then there's hope, there is time. At Green Day's concerts you are reminded of it. 'No homophobia, no sexism, no racism [...]' Billie Joe's words echoed in the dark throughout Sheffield Arena. Loud applause followed shortly after. 

 It is worth mentioning that Green Day experience doesn't necessarily start with first minutes of the show. It's the little things that stir the crowd right way. Like the moment when Tré Cool appears right behind closed doors leading to the arena just when the crowd is crammed up and getting frustrated, tired of waiting. Few seconds of him making faces through round windows restores spirits and whoever notices makes as much noise as their lungs have oxygen (and surely confuse whoever didn't pay attention nor could see). Or playing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' as one of the final songs getting people into the mood before the band hits the stage. ‘Cause obviously that can only create one helluva singalong. 

 Yes, Green Day knows how to set the bar [and raise the temperature] high. So the show in Sheffield Arena was great and it meant a lot to see them after 6 years. Some things haven't changed (the t-shirt gun), but there was some fresh blood pumping through those veins in a form of 'Revolution Radio', 'Youngblood' and few others. Added some spices to good old blend. 

 And then there was this odd backstage thing. Encounter (?). They were having a barbecue (that is not the odd part yet). On a parking lot, in front of the buses, just by the exit route where fans, gathered by the fence, were looking at them like they were some rare specimen in the museum. Not so much privacy there. So fans started to play a game: spot Green Day members. Mission was successful, but as soon as GD realized that they ignored fans spectacularly ('I will turn my back to them, I will not see them so the will disappear' kind of thing. Okay). Other thing, music was on (again relatively normal part). Pure pop hits soaking through speakers when Rancid and Green Day barbecued. Not your typical suburban scene, but I'll take it. It was quite precious though. Eventually fans' patience paid off and Billie Joe approached them, high fived and thanked every one of them, even gave couple of autographs (but told to hide them straight away so nobody else wanted signatures). Even though fans were left hungry for more it was definitely good ending of an eventful night.

Setlist: 

Pre show: 

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen  Blitzkrieg Bop by Ramones  The Good, the Bad and the Ugly by Ennio Morricone 

Show: 

Know Your Enemy Bang Bang Revolution Radio  Holiday Letterbomb Boulevard of the Broken Dreams  Longview  Youngblood Paper Lanterns Hitchin' a Ride When I Come Around Welcome to Paradise Minority Are We the Waiting St. Jimmy Knowledge (Operation Ivy cover)  Basket Case She King for a Day Shout / Teenage Kicks / Always Look on the Bright Side of Life / (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction / Hey Jude Still Breathing Forever Now 

 Encore: 

American Idiot Jesus of Suburbia 

Encore #2: 

21 Guns (acoustic)  Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

[no-the-other-thaddeus]

Hollow Knight: Thoughts So Far

Hello. My name is Thaddeus. I have a habit of rambling about games on occasion, and at the request of some friends, I’ll be organizing some of that rambling into something that vaguely resembles a review/first impressions article about a game I’ve played. You can read this one below the cut.

So, now that’s out of the way, let’s talk turkey: Hollow Knight. I’m sure more than a few of you have seen it in your recommendations feed, or just on the front page of the Steam store since the Summer Sale began. For those of you that haven’ t bothered to glance at the game’s page, a quick summary:

Hollow Knight is a Metroid-vania game drawn in a traditional 2D style. Not quite Skullgirls levels of animation, but still quite good for the game’s scale, and the art itself is quite good. Other points of note are it’s soundtrack, boasting several atmospheric, ambient tracks that lend a certain haunting quality to many of the games’ environs, it’s self proclaimed ‘tight controls’, and similarly stated non-linearity. 

It’s plain to see that it’s somewhat inspired by the games of FROM Software, but I wouldn’t say it takes solely (No pun intended) from Dark Souls. The game’s somewhat bleak, misty hub reminds me more of something from Bloodborne than any of the Souls games. Although do keep in mind that this is coming from someone who’s never actually played any of the aforementioned titles, so your mileage may vary. 

The more obvious aspect it borrows from the Souls games specifically is it’s style of story-telling. You are told basically nothing, but you are presented with various cryptic snippets of information as you go. The more you talk to NPCs and explore, the more tidbits you’ll find. The game has done this fairly well thus far; the NPCs you can find to speak with are generally interesting and well-written enough that the more curious among you will likely be intrigued enough to speak to most of them multiple times. 

Now that I’ve painted a general picture, let’s start getting into specifics, shall we?

You begin Hollow Knight with 5 ‘Masks.’ The games equivalent to hearts. Along with this, you have one ‘Soul Orb.’ The Soul Orb is a bit more unique: as you defeat enemies, you collect ‘soul energy’ from them, filling up the orb. With enough soul energy, you can hold down a button to heal off damage. You can only heal 3 health at your maximum capacity starting out however, and you’re left vulnerable while you do it. It also takes a fair few seconds, making it a less than viable option in particularly tense fights with more agile opponents. 

Speaking of, the game’s enemy design definitely leans more toward the Metroid side of Metroid-vania. One or two of the game’s earlier enemies are functionally identical to ones found in Super Metroid, and this is where the first problem arises: in Metroid, your primary attack is a ranged projectile weapon with unlimited ammo, therefore, with a bit of care, it’s not too difficult to take out enemies that fly. In Hollow Knight, your primary attack is a short-range melee strike, but there are still several flying enemies right out of the gate.This means that, from the get-go, you have enemies that can be tricky to reach with your only means of attack. While most of the earliest enemies aren’t terribly fast, their numbers can make them a bit tricky to simply avoid at times as well

This isn’t helped by the fact that every enemy in the game does contact damage, which also inflicts considerable knockback. This is particularly annoying in more vertically oriented rooms, where one unfortunate brush can send you tumbling several platforms back down.

Now, let’s talk about the map system. One of the things the trailers for Hollow Knight bring to attention is how customizable it is. With all the little pins and such to mark things out...but that’s not quite the truth. You don’t place these pins yourself, they’re a one-time buy to automatically mark every instance of the given landmark they’re for pointing out. They all have to be bought using the game’s in-game currency ‘Geo’, which is dropped by enemies and found in rock deposits. 

That would be nothing more than a nitpick, if not for a few factors: Having to buy the maps themselves as well isn’t so unreasonable, but said maps are incomplete when you receive them, and to fill the rest in, you have to buy a ‘Quill.’ Granted, you only have to buy it the once and then you’re set for the game, but it still seems a bit asinine to lock behind money. Then there’s that fact that your own position on the map being visible, also has to be bought, and is the most expensive unlock of all, and not just in money.

The ‘compass’ as it’s called, counts as a ‘charm.’ A little badge you can equip to a limited number of slots on your character for certain benefits. Sort of like the badges in older Paper Mario games. You start with 3 slots. The compass takes up one. I’m sure you can get more later, but it still makes me scratch my head that something as basic as knowing where you are on the map would be put into that system. 

Now, as I said, pretty much all these features only require one purchase, which doesn’t seem so bad, and it isn’t really terrible either; after all, you can decide what you want to prioritize being able to see on the map. However, getting enough money to buy everything you want can be a bit of a problem thanks to the game’s death system.

When you die, you leave behind a shadowy echo of yourself, which is functionally similar to the money bags you drop in Shovel Knight. Unlike in Shovel Knight, however, this isn’t losing some of your money, but all of it. No exceptions, at least thus far. As you might expect, to retrieve your money, you have to reach your shadow...and then kill it, because it’s an enemy. A relatively harmless one, but an enemy nonetheless. One that’s easy to run into for contact damage if you’re angry about dying again. Oh, and before I forget, your soul orb loses a third of it’s capacity until you re-collect your soul.

If you die on the way to collecting it, you lose all of the money you had been carrying permanently. Now, again, that wouldn’t be much of a problem, frustrating, yes, but not a hugely bad design decision or anything. But, you remember those rock deposits that also drop money I mentioned? They don’t respawn. You can permanently lose money you can’t re-collect. Those deposits also generally drop more than the enemies do, and some of the items you’re going to need to explore certain areas of the game are kind of pricey. 

It all adds up to a general sense of dread and frustration as you’re traversing any given area of the game, especially when re-treading old ground just trying to get to the next new place. It’s hurt my enjoyment of the game thus far. Maybe some of you with more experience in the genre, or sharper reflexes, won’t find it so stymieing, but it’s a problem I definitely would be remiss to ignore. 

All of the above certainly irks me, but I’ve dealt with worse over the years. I was still enjoying the game enough, especially with the thought that I would be getting more abilities to better fight enemies and traverse the world going forward. 

And then I got to the second major boss of the game, Hornet.

I was a few hours into the game at this point, 2-3 maybe, 4 tops. Before we get into Hornet, allow me to describe the last big boss: The False Knight. The False Knight, is a good fight. He’s got discernible patterns, and moves slowly enough for you to avoid without too much trouble with a bit of care, even with only your base moveset. I still died a couple times, but thanks to having well telegraphed attacks with distinct audio cues meant that I figured him out in relatively few attempts. His animations were charming (especially the way he died), and I overall left the feeling accomplished. 

Now, let’s talk about Hornet, and believe me, there’s a lot to talk about. As I said, the first boss was fairly slow. Hornet by contrast, is quick and almost constantly moving. It’s not impossible to hit her or anything, but how high and in what direction you need to jump to avoid her attacks changes depending on where she starts the attack from, and because she’s almost always moving around, that means it’s hard to reliably dodge her attacks without bashing your head against the fight a lot. 

On top of that, though I’d yet to mention it here, your invincibility frames are a little on the short side, which becomes a problem here; Hornet’s attacks come out fast, and often in quick succession. Quick enough at least that you can often get hit 2-3 times in as many seconds. Because of this, if you happen to bump into her and her attacks on accident just a few times, an attempt can be over in less than half a minute, maybe less. 

And then you have to walk back to her boss room. You see, much like Metroid, the only checkpoints in the game are fixed points on the maps. Although rather than entire rooms, in Hollow Knight, they’re benches that you can rest on. There are usually only one or two, maybe three if there’s an interior area, benches in a given area of the game’s world. This means that, often, walking back to a boss after dying to them is a tedious affair. 

Hornet’s location is actually closer to a bench than most other boss fights have been thus far, but getting back to her still wastes a good half-minute each time. Plus, of course, you have to kill your shadow before you fight her too, and that takes a bit of time as well. It breaks up the flow immensely, and makes the prospect of giving the fight another try after losing that much more un-appealing thanks to the extra effort you have to put forth to reach her again. 

All of this could be fixed by simply having bosses be an exception to the bench system’s rule: just put a checkpoint right inside the room. It’s not like it’ll make your soul any easier to recover than it already is in these situations. That change alone would be enough that I probably would’ve soldiered through and beat hear already. But it’s not there, and so the little irritations I’ve had with the game’s various systems all converge on this one fight, and I find myself reluctant to keep playing.

I’ll admit, there have been times when I’ve had better runs of the fight that there’s been a certain thrill to it; maybe I get off 4 or 5 hits on her and manage to avoid all the attacks she throws out in that time or something like that. But then all that dies away as I screw up dodging her once, then take contact damage the next moment, and then before you know it, I’m dead again, and I remember why I dislike this fight so much. 

It’s a shame, because I do like the game’s atmosphere, I do like the art style. I want to see the rest of it, but this fight is just such a slog, not to mention how jarring a step up in difficulty it is compared to what’s come before it. All in all, I don’t know if I could recommend Hollow Knight to someone new to the Metroid-vania genre of games as I am. Perhaps someone more seasoned in these types of games wouldn’t blink at these things, and hey, if so, you’ll probably like the game. More power to you I guess, but I’m a little unsure on it myself. 

Hollow Knight is currently $9.89 on the Steam Store.

[talestoenrage]

Persona 5

Last night, I finally finished Persona 5, and...it wasn’t as good as Persona 4. Now that I have all the available facts, I finally think I can fairly unpack my reasons why. Behind the cut, for anyone else who’s still working on it and doesn’t want spoilers.

The first thing to note is that I am a huge Persona 4 fan. It’s not a perfect game (but then, nothing is); it starts off very slowly, its once-lauded LGBT content is actually not good in the cold light of day when LGBT content is (however slowly) becoming more common in video games, and it has a long, LONG day that is just...awful. Misogynist and transphobic as hell. But overall, it’s a hell of a game that I recommend to almost anyone, even with those caveats. It’s also a game that’s almost 9 years old, so why do I think it’s better than the sequel that came out this year?

Certainly, Persona 5 has a lot of gameplay improvements. There’s more variety in combat, with new types of attacks and status effects you can inflict and have inflicted on you. Adding guns as another piece of equipment gives everyone in your party additional options. Most importantly, the social links the current Persona games rely on for their flavor have added gameplay benefits, as different ranks will grant you useful skills in and out of combat, at a pace that lets you naturally integrate the new options rather than being overwhelmed by them. And the negotiation system with the enemies (imported back from the base SMT series) means that what you fight can matter beyond “this is their weakness/XP gain/possible item drops.” In every measurable way, combat in 5 is better than 4. Even the dungeons are improved, because the set designs stand out better than 4′s randomized crawling. Plus if you do want random dungeon crawls, there’s a whole huge area that calls back to Persona 3′s Tartarus. The best of both worlds, right? The problem is that while combat in 5 is a great improvement, combat is not what I loved in Persona 4 anyway. It was the writing and the story.

If you haven’t played Persona 4, the main plot revolves around a series of murders in a rural Japanese town. After the first two, the main character and his recent friends discover another world, and that it’s connected to the murders so far. When a third person goes missing, they save them, and then decide to work on stopping any further murders and figure out who’s behind them. On its own, this is a workable plot that stands out among JRPGs for being decidedly small scale. You aren’t setting out to stop an evil empire or find your missing father, but it’s a worthy goal, and the fantastical elements explain why you can’t just go to the police about it.

What makes the game sing is the writing for the other members of your group, and for the social links you make to gain power. Your party is a bunch of teenagers, and sometimes they’re, well, shitty in the way teens so often are. They care for each other and stick their necks out, but they’ll also crack inappropriate jokes or be insensitive because they’re still learning how to act like adults. It occasionally goes too far (see Teddy), but mostly it felt believable, as did any of the romance scenes if you choose to date any of your classmates. On top of that, with the exception of the main character, you gain team members by saving them from their own Shadow, which stands for the parts of themselves they don’t want to admit are real. Sure, you beat them when they become the boss, but then the character in question has to accept the parts of themselves they don’t like to admit are there, something that all of us have.

Meanwhile, the social links do the heavy lifting of making the town feel like a real place. Sometimes you’re doing real work to improve someone’s life, sometimes you’re just there for them when they hit a snag and need to process it. But it’s a reminder that outside of the fantasy elements of going into the TV world and fighting weird creatures, you live in a town with “real” people that have real problems. That’s not quite what your team member’s social links are about, but instead it’s about someone who has admitted they have issues...and then you have to help them work through that. Admitting they have a problem is just the first step, not the solution.

If this sounds more like a review of Persona 4 than 5, I can understand that. But I needed to unpack what I love about 4 first, because if I’m going to say 5 isn’t as good, I think it’s only fair to explain what I love about 4 and why. And the main stumbling block for 5 is a combination of writing and, to a lesser degree, a mixed translation job.

The translation isn’t terrible-I don’t think it will spawn any memes online due to particular lines. But some subtlety is lost, and lines that should hit harder lose impact because the sentence structure doesn’t work as it should in English. It’s hard to say if it’s just a case of being too literal or being rushed for time, or some combination.

But even with better translation, the writing just falls flat. 5 raises a lot of questions with its central premise, where your group “steals” the hearts of bad people to make them change and be good, but it’s resolutely uninterested in answering half of them. It will tell you all about the mechanics of how you do it and what happens to the person, but it doesn’t want to deal with the ethics at all for half of the game, and then when it comes up, it’s a half hearted ‘were we doing the right thing?” when people start saying bad stuff about the Phantom Thieves. Are all the villains you take down engaging in truly reprehensible behavior? Yes. Are they largely insulated from official control? Yes, and for reasons beyond general “looking the other way,” since the final human villain is revealed to be covering for everyone you fought before. But there’s never a conversation where your group, the people actually altering people’s personalities, ever ask themselves if it’s okay to be making such radical changes, or asking if you are returning them to normal versus changing a “normal” person into a different version that didn’t exist before. And even the half hearted attempts to question it get shot down by your character’s mouth piece, the fame whore, whose very questionable motivations for wanting to continue are ALSO never questioned, except very briefly near the end. I didn’t need the game to tell me I was wrong for what I was doing, but I at least wanted a discussion, even if it ended with “this may be a bad thing, but we need to do it because no one else can touch them.”

Perhaps the social links would have saved it, but almost all of them outside of the main party ones end the same way. You get up to rank 7 or 8, find out there’s a road block of someone being bad, and then you get a request to change their hearts. Rinse and repeat. This throws the question of how ethical your behavior is into even sharper relief, and adds in the issue of making every resolution to the social links be “I did magic, and then they figured out I was a Phantom Thief, but it’s okay because they said they would keep my secret.” The first few times, I found it charming. The 10nth time, I felt like I might as well stop pretending and just tell anyone who asked “Yeah, I’m one of them. Want me to change some guy’s head? I got my magic gun I can use.”

Most of the party member social links don’t involve that, but most of them also fall flat. Ryuji’s is just there, Ann involves helping her realize other models can be mean and she’ll lose out if she doesn’t put more effort in, Yusuke is having art block, and Haru needs to learn how to manage a corporation she unexpectedly inherited. None of them are offensive, but they’re mostly boring. Only Futaba (trying to reacclimate to society after being a recluse for years) and Makoto (mostly forgettable but she slaps another girl and then challenges a would be pimp to a street fight, which was great) stand out, or seem like you actually do anything to help other than be there as they talk it out on their own.

Then there’s the framing device, where you’ve already been captured and are telling a prosecutor the story of how you came to be the Phantom Thieves. It intrudes every time you hit a certain point in the plot, and whenever you start a new social link. It didn’t take long at all for me to roll my eyes every time it intruded to remind me I wasn’t ACTUALLY in May, I was just RECOUNTING what I did in May. Plus its plot hook of “someone betrayed you to us” was blunted when the person who did it joined my group last and was literally blackmailing us to quit after pulling “one last job.” Gee, wonder who could have sold us out to the cops? The shitty teen detective who talks about people as vermin? I’M SHOCKED. 

Now, I will give 5 credit, it has two solid plot twists. The first is when the framing device resolves (assuming you don’t get the bad ending), and Akechi shoots you...only to be revealed that your team was actually paying attention, realized he was lying, and used what they knew about the Metaverse to trick him into shooting a dupe. It wasn’t worth the hassle, but it was nice to see the group not be idiots. The second, that Igor was actually a fake as well and behind all the trouble, was more genuinely surprising, but it did make the voice change that we’d assumed was a weird miscast into a clue that we’d missed. 

The final boss fight being about pulling out a giant spirit gun and shooting a god in the head was goofy as hell, but unintentionally so, which is unfortunate.

Would I recommend Persona 5? With reservations. Along with all the issues I’ve noted, the game feels too long for the plot it has; I was close to 150 hours when I finished, and even taking out the grinding I did at different points, I felt like I went through a lot of filler dialogue to get there. Plus the opening to 5 is, if anything, even LONGER than 4. You show up in town on the 9nth, and it’s not until the 18nth that you have full control over your actions, with multiple mandatory tutorial sections.

At least the music is still great.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: "Persona 5" Review

When it comes to JRPGs, the Persona series is in a class of its own. A spin-off of the ruthless-yet-addicting Shin Megami Tensei series, Persona splits SMT's dungeon-crawling and ability-focused combat (I always describe it as "Pokemon with demons") with VN-like segments of daily school life and building personal relationships. After several delays, I can finally, finally talk about the game that's been consuming my life for the last two months--and the one I was thinking about while playing Mass Effect: Andromeda a couple weeks ago.

    Persona always deals with two worlds--the "real" world where we go about our daily business, with school, work, friends, and day-to-day drama, and the other world (helpfully called "The Metaverse" this time around), where people's twisted desires come to life, creating distorted spaces known as Palaces. As a transfer student caught up in this very strange situation, you and your steadily-growing group of friends form a team of Phantom Thieves to break into Palaces, take down their evil masters, and restore justice to the world! Of course, it's not as easy as I'm making it sound, as everybody wants a piece of the Phantom Thieves, from corrupt teachers to gangsters to a group of hackers. While you're at it, what is the Metaverse? Does anyone else know about Palaces? And what happens if this knowledge falls into the wrong hands?

    P5's cast is familiar, but fresh: you'll see bits and pieces of past characters (i.e. Ryuji feels like a perfect fusion of Junpei and Chie, immediately making him my favorite), neatly fitting everybody into the previous boxes of "best friend," "the smart one," "the weird one" and more, but thankfully never feels tropey or overdone. You legitimately want to spend time with these guys, and they have their own individual charm and flaws--Ryuji shoots his mouth off and can come off as rude, but realizes when he's being an ass and can apologize. Yusuke lacks tact and thinks everybody should adhere to his sense of aesthetics, but also realizes that he's kind of an oddball and not everybody cares how beautiful a burger plate should look. Ann's confidence can come off as arrogance, but you see that her positive energy is there to help others feel strong and take care of themselves just as well as she does. And, just like past Persona games, spending time with characters and strengthening your bonds ("Social Links") pays off in-game: characters cure status ailments on their own, ambushing enemies can automatically add them to your Persona list, stores offer deep discounts, and you can get more free time in class to catch up on your reading or item crafting, among many others.

    When you're not in the real world spending time with your friends, you're in the Metaverse, tackling stylized, danger-filled Palaces created by humans' distorted desires. A simplified focus on stealth adds a new sense of tension to dungeon-crawling in P5--since you're infiltrating each Palace, you'll have to sneak around and ambush enemies in the hopes of not alerting the Palace's master to your presence. It really keeps you on your toes to have to check each corner and not just barrel down hallways, making the dungeon-crawling elements feel fresh. Also, in the moments when you have to work with a countdown, it makes everything much more frantic, as you tear through enemies trying to make a break for an exit. I know a few people who were turned off by previous games' long dungeon crawls, like Persona 3's Tartarus, but P5 kind of follows the P4 route--Palaces are unique, tailored to the individual you're facing, so you're always going to be going somewhere new (and yes, SMT purists, there is a single large, randomized dungeon to explore, but it's mostly optional).

    If you've ever played a Shin Megami Tensei or Persona game, you know what you're in for with the game's battle system, but if you haven't, it's a strictly turn-based system that encourages exploiting enemy weaknesses and setting them up for combos as you trade turns between teammates. There are lot of nice quality-of-life upgrades you can gain from Social Links, like pointing out discovered enemies' weaknesses and their item drops, making combat less of a grind and minimizing trial-and-error situations. Aside from a few hectic moments, you're welcome to take all the time you need in combat, but it's still not easy--mess up once, and you can get dogpiled. Persona is built around the concept of "One More," where if you strike an enemy with their weakness, you can get one more turn, or pass your turn on to a teammate so they can add to your attacks, but enemies can do the same. You're strong, but you're not invincible, and Persona 5 regularly reminds you of this.

    You're not just locked into dungeon-crawling and individual friend hangouts, either, as there's plenty to do on your own in Persona 5: hit the batting cages, play some video games, rent DVDs, get a part-time job, help your friends study for exams--nothing feels like wasted time, because everything gives you some kind of advantage. Persona 5 builds a deeper, taller world instead of a broader one--there's more to do in smaller spaces, instead of just having a huge open world full of nothing. How you use your time is all up to you, but the game does demand that you make clear choices of who and what is more important to you--every Palace is on a hard deadline, often with life-ruining consequences for you or your friends.

    The only real problem I had with Persona 5 came from getting screwed by the game's RNG: a "high chance to prevent" a status effect should actually prevent once in a while instead of failing ten times in a row (no joke), and enemies frequently know that killing the main character immediately causes a game over. Getting dogpiled, then one-shotted can lead to a number of frustrating reloads, no matter how good the rest of the game is. Persona 5 also has a fantastic dub, but Atlus Japan requested some name pronunciations that don't feel or sound natural (i.e. names like "Sakamoto" and "Takamaki" have the emphasis on the first syllable, not the second). Granted, I guarantee you'll hear the name "Ryuji" way more often than "Sakamoto," but the few times you hear names pronounced this way can be very jarring. There are a few repetitive sound bytes during battles, but switching up your party can prevent this from becoming a real dealbreaker.

    What Persona 5 brings most to the table is heart. It's obviously a very well-made game, but it wouldn't be anything special if it didn't make you feel anything. You always have a reason to keep going, a reason to keep taking the fight to the game's villains, and a reason to care about your friends' feelings beyond getting that sweet Social Link bonus. Yeah, I powered through Andromeda in a week and loved it, but coming back to P5 felt like coming back home. For one, it was nice to play a game that actually worked, and for another, it hit a very easy-to-miss sweet spot between demanding and relaxing. When you're attending Shujin High and living life in Yongen-Jaya, take your time and soak it all in. When you're assaulting a nefarious villain's Palace, take a breath, steel yourself, and dig into a challenging, satisfying, and demanding RPG experience. Finally, take heart: Persona 5 was absolutely worth the wait.

  REVIEW ROUNDUP

+ Story, characters, visuals, soundtrack: Persona 5 delivers on all fronts

+ Battle system is fast-paced while still being turn-based, encouraging decisive tactics and quick thinking

+ Nothing feels like filler, even side quests with minor characters: you always get something useful

+ You're always doing something new--fresh dungeon designs, new story goals, even the light stealth elements help

+ No real need to grind--boss fights still tend to be challenging in ways that bigger numbers won't solve

+/- Awesome dub, despite some jarring name pronunciation

- Absolutely ridiculous RNG in some later battles--can get frustrating from reloading due to constant instakills

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com