#well why don't i just set myself on fire instead

[moldbaby]

i am a girl meant to live in a world of wonder and adventure not emails and phone calls

[lvnleah]

https://www.tumblr.com/lvnleah/775376995364290560/you-know-who-i-caught-myself-thinking-of-the-other?source=share

Thank you for replying. I have no problem if you don't write my request, just reading some Kyra fic got me thinking about a request like a platonic lionesses one.

May i request arsenal/lionesses x teen reader who is already playing for arsenal team and is in her first season and she is a clown , someone who can barely sit still for a moment and is a huge pest to every player except to kim and Wally because they cook for her and keep her alive. She also stays with leah and is the one who causes Leah's headache along with Kyra and the arsenal youngsters. Her first season with Arsenal has been phenomenal and Sarina noticed and the reader gets called up for her first senior team. Hearting the news reader is so happy while leah and the other english players groan Good naturedly because they now have to deal with their annoying adopted sister not only in the club but also in the lionesses camp. And the other lionesses and Sarina gets a first look of what the reader is going to be when she literally cartwheels to her introduction on the first day of the camp. Just wanted a fluffy fic.

Thank you and have a nice day

chaos on camp | leah williamson.

You had known for a while that your first season at Arsenal was going well. Scoring goals, setting up assists, making life miserable for your teammates, just the usual. But when you got the England senior team call-up, you were gone.

You screamed so loud that the entire training ground probably heard it. Then, instead of celebrating like a normal person, you sprinted around the changing room. 

Leah groaned, dragging a hand down her face. “Brilliant. Bloody brilliant. Now we have to deal with you in camp too?”

You barely heard her over your own excitement. “Leah, I get to annoy you everywhere now! Sarina called me up to the England camp!”

“Fantastic,” Alessia muttered, shooting Beth a look. Beth just sighed, already regretting every decision that had led to this moment.

Lia and Kim, however, had the opposite reaction.

“Good,” Lia said, looking way too relieved.

Kim just smiled, hands on her hips. “Now we don’t have to babysit you anymore.”

You gasped dramatically. “You love babysitting me!”

Lia gave you a look. “You set off the fire alarm trying to make toast last week.”

“…Fair point.”

Still, nothing could kill your mood. You had been called up to the England squad. 

“Kid, look, if you’re going to the England camp, there’s gonna be rules,” Leah told you that evening as you drove home from training. “I’m proud of you but you need to be serious.”

You turned to her, eyes wide with mock innocence. “I am always serious.”

Leah shot you a flat look. “You did a backflip off the sofa yesterday.”

“To test my agility!”

“You landed on your face.”

“…A minor setback.”

Leah groaned, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. “This is what I mean. You can’t just be an agent of chaos at camp. Sarina doesn’t play games.”

You hummed, only half-listening. You were already imagining all the ways you could make everyone suffer like Keira, Ella, Georgia, and Millie. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Leah sighed, recognizing the look on your face. “You’re not listening, are you?”

“Not even a little bit.”

Leah muttered something under her breath, something that sounded suspiciously like why me? But you chose to ignore it. You were far too busy buzzing with excitement.

“Just—please, please don’t embarrass me,” Leah pleaded as she pulled into the driveway.

You gasped, hand over your heart. “Leah, I would never.”

She gave you a long, unimpressed stare. “I have footage of you chasing a pigeon around London Colney last week.”

“It looked lost!”

“It was not lost.”

“Well, we’ll never know now.”

Leah sighed, rubbing her temples. “I’m going to need Sarina’s support at this rate.”

You grinned, unbothered by Leah’s clear despair. “Oh, come on, I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m going to set anything on fire.”

Leah just gave you a look, stepping out of the car. “That’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

You followed her inside, still buzzing with energy. The England call-up wasn’t just a dream come true, it was an opportunity. A chance to prove yourself, to play with some of the best in the world, and, most importantly, to annoy an entirely new group of people.

Leah flopped onto the couch, clearly exhausted from dealing with you. “Look, just try to take it seriously. At least pretend to behave. You don’t want Sarina sending you home after one session.”

You scoffed, dramatically throwing yourself onto the couch beside her. “Oh please. She’s going to love me.”

Leah snorted. “You are severely overestimating your charm.”

“Or you’re underestimating it.”

Before Leah could reply, your phone buzzed. You glanced down and immediately let out a delighted cackle. A new message had popped up in the group chat Keira had added you too, filled with some of the England girls.

Keira: Just heard the news. Can’t believe we have to deal with you now.

Georgia: England training is about to be a circus.

Grace: I’m actually so excited about this.

Millie: If you do anything dumb, I’m throwing you in an ice bath.

You: Wow, the warm welcome. I feel so loved.

You grinned, already imagining the chaos you were going to bring. You turned to Leah, eyes gleaming with mischief. “This is going to be so much fun.”

Leah groaned, pulling a pillow over her face. “I already regret everything.”

The taxi ride to St. George’s Park was eventful, to say the least.

Leah had spent the entire journey alternating between sighing dramatically and making pointed comments about maturity and professionalism, none of which you listened to. Lotte had her headphones in, pretending she didn’t know any of you, and Beth and Alessia kept glancing at each other like they were regretting their life choices.

You, on the other hand, had been bouncing in your seat since you left London, too hyped to sit still. “Do you think they’ll have snacks when we get there? What are the beds like? Does Sarina have a secret fun side? Do you think I can nutmeg Keira before she even says hello?”

Leah groaned. “Can you breathe for five seconds?”

You inhaled deeply, then exhaled. “Done. Anyway, do you think I can convince Sarina to let me have my own room? I snore.”

Beth snorted. “You’re not getting your own room.”

The taxi finally pulled up to the training ground, and before the driver had even properly stopped, you were already unbuckling your seatbelt. 

“We’re here!” you announced, shoving the door open and practically launching yourself onto the pavement.

Leah rubbed her temples. “Please let her trip,” she muttered under her breath.

You didn’t trip, but you did nearly run straight into Georgia, who had appeared out of nowhere with a mischievous grin.

“Did you piss Leah off?” Georgia said, clapping you on the shoulder. “We’ve all been mentally preparing for your arrival.”

You smirked. “Are you ready for me?”

Georgia tilted her head. “No.”

Before you could respond, Keira appeared, arms crossed. “Look, as long as you don’t annoy me and just annoy Leah then you’ll be fine, kid.”

You grinned. “I give it two hours before she’s killing me.”

Keira narrowed her eyes. “One.”

Leah sighed, handing her bags to the staff. “I need a strong drink.”

Lotte yawned as she pulled her suitcase out of the taxi. “You need a break.”

Beth patted Leah’s back in fake sympathy. “She’s your problem now, not ours, mate.”

You turned back to Keira and Georgia, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Okay, what’s first? Do we have a meeting? Training? Am I allowed to throw a nutmeg challenge down immediately, or do I have to wait?”

Keira just walked away.

Georgia cackled. “Oh, this is going to be great.”

You had every intention of being serious during your first England training session. You really did.

But then Grace challenged you to a race during the warm-up, and you, being the mature, responsible adult that you were, decided to cartwheel halfway through it instead of running properly.

“FOR GOD’S SAKE,” Leah groaned, hands on her hips as she watched you tumble across the grass.

Grace, doubled over laughing, barely managed to jog the rest of the way. “Oh my God…did you just—”

Sarina’s sharp whistle cut through the air, and everyone instantly straightened up. You popped up from your final cartwheel with a grin, fully expecting some amusement.

You were wrong. So wrong. 

Sarina stared at you, unimpressed. “Is this gymnastics?”

You hesitated. “…No?”

“Then why are you cartwheeling?”

You blinked. “To test my agility?”

Leah, from somewhere behind you, groaned into her hands.

Sarina just gave you a long, slow nod, the kind that made you feel like a child being scolded by a teacher. “Try that again, and you’ll be running laps for the next hour.”

You nodded quickly, resisting the urge to salute. “Understood.”

As Sarina turned away, Grace elbowed you. “You’re on thin ice already.”

You shrugged, completely unbothered. “Eh, I like a challenge.”

Keira sighed. “You are the challenge.”

Beth jogged past, shaking her head. “I give it a day before Sarina bans you from doing anything unsupervised.”

Leah groaned even louder. “I hate that I have to deal with you at club and country.”

[seat-safety-switch]

All the best hobbies involve setting a ton of money on fire. One of life's cruelest jokes is that you only figure out how to save money on a hobby when you're already very experienced in it. At the absolute start? You might as well just hand your wallet over to whoever sells you supplies.

Because of a recent peace bond entered into by agreement of the Crown and my own representative, I'm not allowed to go into too much detail about the hobby that this story is about. Instead, we're going to pretend my hobby is "cheese making." Everyone loves cheese, and some folks love it way too much – folks like myself. I personally can't get enough of parmesan, grana, and making homebrew drones to automatically harass local politicians non-stop with unceasing, untiring, machine-like efficiency.

Thing is, stores don't give you the things you need, which is why hobbies exist: to spite the rest of civilization by burning an incredible amount of money and time. Naturally, the next step was to make my own, uh, cheese.

In order to make cheese, you need a lot of really expensive things to get started. Cows. Cheesecloth. Rennet? Is that a thing? Rennet. Everyone you talk to about the hobby has had all these things for decades, and they can't imagine going without them, or even prioritizing which ones to buy on a budget. Better to wait until you can buy once, cry once, they say while flinging the best cheesemaking supplies that money can buy around their desk for YouTube clout. They sneer at the cheap stuff that you can afford before you know whether or not you really like stalking po- making cheese.

As a result, I ended up spending a lot of money on tools and materials that I had to throw out later. I simply didn't know what I actually needed, which in the end turns out to be just going to the cheese store and buy some off-the-shelf stuff. It takes a lot to admit that sometimes a hyperfixation can just be a regular-sized fixation, but I'll always remember those three weeks of fun before some angry cops told me to stop making cheese so close to the airport.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hades x Reader || Drabble

Plot: He's a villain; So you would- could never, ever fall in love with him.

'Sooner or later you're gonna want it. And the second- the second that happens, you know I'll sup in; have myself a real good day.' - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

... But he'll still wait patiently, for you.

Warnings: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Mischaracterisation?

Tagging: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @miss_understood , and @yesthetrashbin .

The instant that you see the villain in your house, waiting for you again lounging on your bed, smoke spread all over the floor; you groan. "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- "

Hades only shows a flicker or irritation by your obnoxiously drawn-out moan, before its snuffed out with a roll of his shoulders and he gets up from your bed. Now his head grazes the ceiling but he comes here so often, asking you on walks with him and bringing you dinner you couldn't have scrounged for yourself with a weeks pay despite how many time's you've told him no, never, so you're past the fear of him setting the house on fire. His yellow eyes glow in the dim room and, like always, it causes a little warmth to spready in the pit of your belly- you ignore it. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be gone in a sec, okay babe? I got places to be today, anyway. Just gimmie a minute, here."

"Why should I?"

"Uh- " This time real frustration passes over his face; settling for a few moments as he speaks. "Well you don't have that much of a choice, doya babe? So just shut up and listen, eh?"

Not-at-all scared, you just roll your eyes, setting your basket down on the side table and crossing your arms impatiently over your chest. "Fine. What do you want? I don't see any exotic fruits... another walk?"

Here, a smirk slips over his mouth; The flames atop his head give a happy crackle, and he gently shakes his head. "Not this time. Unless, I mean- you want to?? I can reschedule my meeting with the Fates, if you- " When he reads your expression, a familiar and cold 'hell no' written all over it, he sighs. Disappointed, but... not surprised at all, anymore. "Right. Right- uh, look babe. I just came here to let ya know, I... "

Hades? Lost for words?? That almost concerns you. Almost makes you lower your freezing cold exterior, and ask- ... but no. No. Instead, you tighten your arms over your chest and increase the impatient, expectant look in your eyes. Like, hurry up.

"... Okay. Look. I like you, (Full name). I might even go so far as to say I'm fallin' for ya- and thats new to me. I'm lost in some really unfamiliar waters, here," He chuckles, nervously, looking truly out of his depth for a moment. "Thats never happened to me before, this is new, and I- I- I'm tryin' to do it right. Sweep you off your feet; all that romantic jazz. Which I honestly think is kinda psychotic-... But uh... " His eyes lift from somewhere on the ground to your left, up to your eyes and he gives you another half-smirk. "I think we both know its not my thing."

... breaking your silence for a moment, you give a little tiny nod; not sure where this is going. "We do." You say quietly.

"Yea. Well, between you and me- its not workin' as well as you'd think, is it?"

"... no."

"Right, so," He rolls those broad shoulders again, giving his neck an uncomfortable stretch. "I'm uh- I'm gonna stop trying."

That gives you pause. " -What??"

"-not that I'm done here, exactly, no no no. I don't give up so easy, sweetheart. I'm gonna be here, or well- around. Waiting. And some day if... And someday when, you decide ya want me, then I'll come for ya. Just call."

Eyebrows furrowing, you suddenly remember something Hades said earlier. You'd almost forgotten it, because it seemed unimportant before, but now seems significant. "... Why are you going to meet with the fates?" Does he... know something? Is going to ask something?? What-

He just grins, infuriatingly. And his body begins to disappear into smoke, and your eyes widen- because- wait! "Remember what I just told you, babe. Keep it in mind, mull it over. I got nothin but time and I don't mind using it waiting on you. You're kinda worth it, eh?" -He didn't answer your question!

"But!- "

"Lookin' forward to your call, sweetheart."

"I'm not gonna call!- "

"Uhuh."

[royaljude]

Temptations ~ JB5

Genre ~ Fluff, Angst, smut(later)

Summary ~ Jude Bellingham, the very well known bad boy of Silver Ridge High school, runs into the shy, good girl, Vivian Rose. In a case of she fell first, he fell harder, and tensions high. What will happen when their paths collide? Will Jude’s reputation change? Will Vivian end up not being the so called good girl she is?

Warnings ~ non

A/N ~ first chapter to a new series! LETS GO!!

Pt.2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

November in Silver Ridge was grey, wet, and always a little bit miserable. The kind of cold that snuck through your jacket and made your nose sting. The kind of weather that made staying home with tea and a good book feel like the only rational choice.

Which is exactly what I planned on doing

—until my phone lit up for the fourth time in the last ten minutes.

Zoë [7:42 PM]

vivi i swear to god if u don't come i will show up at ur house in crocs and drag u out myself

Zoë [7:43 PM]

it's not even that serious. it's a bonfire. just come for an hour.

Zoë [7:44 PM]

jude bellingham is here btw 👀

That last text made my stomach flip in a way l hated to admit. Jude Bellingham.

The school's golden boy-if golden boys wore leather jackets, skipped class, and could set the whole hallway buzzing with a single smirk. He was chaos wrapped in cologne. And he didn't know I existed.

I stared at the messages, then at my bookshelf. Then back to my phone.

"I'll regret this," | muttered, tugging off my sweatshirt and digging out the one hoodie I owned that didn't scream I read romance novels under my covers at night.

- 20 Minutes Later -

It was louder than I expected. Music pulsed from someone's car speakers, people laughed too loud, and the fire crackled in the center of it all, lighting up faces I usually only saw from the back row of class.

"Vivian!" Zoë yelled, practically launching herself at me. "You came! I'm in actual shock.”

"I don't know why I let you talk me into this."

"Because deep down, you love me." She linked her arm through mine, dragging me toward the fire. "And because part of you is a little curious about seeing Jude Bellingham in person instead of just pretending not to notice him in history class."

I opened my mouth to deny it-and promptly froze.

There he was. Across the fire. Laughing with some senior I didn't recognize. Dark curls, hands shoved into his pockets, smile crooked and dangerous.

He wasn't someone who lived in my world, yet he did.

Our eyes met for half a second.

Maybe less.

But he looked at me. Really looked. Then he looked away.

Just like that.

"Okay," | whispered, throat suddenly dry,

"Maybe I do regret this."

"Come on let's go get drinks." Zoë said dragging me to a nearby cooler with a bunch of drinks in it.

I crouched beside the cooler, brushing a few stray leaves off the lid. My fingers hovered over a can of Sprite before finally grabbing it. Predictable. Safe. Very me.

Zoë cracked open a cherry soda like she’d done this a hundred times before. She probably had. I watched her tilt her head back, laughing at something Leigh said behind us, while I stayed silent. Always the listener. Always on the edge of things.

I sipped my drink and let my eyes wander.

The fire popped and sparked, casting flickering shadows across the grass. People huddled in tight groups, some on old lawn chairs, others standing close enough to blur the line between talking and flirting.

And there was he was again. Jude.

Still by the fire. Still surrounded. His laugh was louder this time—rough and lazy, like he had all the time in the world. Like nothing could touch him. He said something to one of the guys beside him, and a ripple of laughter followed.

I hated that I noticed the sound of his voice before anyone else’s. I hated that it lingered.

“You keep staring,” Zoë said under her breath, nudging me.

“I’m not.”

“You so are.”

“It’s not staring if I’m just looking.”

“Sure,” she teased. “And I only wore this shirt for the weather.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to laugh it off, but my stomach was tight. Because the truth was, Jude Bellingham wasn’t just a name people whispered in the halls. He was the kind of boy who ruined good girls in every book I ever read. The one with the reckless smile and too many secrets. The one you warned yourself about.

The one you couldn’t help noticing.

“He’s not even that attractive,” I said, mostly to myself.

Zoë snorted. “That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”

I shrugged, eyes drifting again—only to find him already looking.

Not a glance. Not a half-second thing this time.

His eyes were on me, unreadable. Calm. Curious, maybe.

And this time, he didn’t look away.

I felt my breath catch, cold air sharp in my chest. His gaze was steady. Not flirtatious. Not smug. Just… there.

And then someone called his name. A girl. Blonde. Confident. Her voice high and sweet. His head turned.

Connection broken.

I looked away fast, like I’d been caught doing something wrong. My cheeks burned.

Sure I had a crush on him, it was wrong. He was the schools troublemaker. Plus it’s not like he’d like a girl like me anyway…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N ~ comment on this post to be added to this series tag list!!!

[silverryuan]

TWST with Sorano Agria reader

Warning: Reader is suicidal, slight swearing.

Sorano Agria, formerly known by the codename Angel, is a practitioner of Angel Magic, as well as a former Celestial Spirit Mage. She is also a former member of a powerful dark guild, Oración Seis.

Angel Magic revolves around summoning angels, each of which are capable of inflicting different kinds of damage. An Angelic Mage can summon them through the use of Angel Coins. Each coin representing a portion of the user's lifespan. If the summoned angel is defeated, the user will suffer great pain. Only powerful Angelic Mages are capable of summoning basic angels without a cost and suffer no drawbacks when they are defeated.

...Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you guys...

I don't really give a shit about the lore of the characters, I'm mostly interested in the magic/skills they use (examples: Blood Mage, Angelic Mage).... Why do I like risky magic concept? I don't know. I just think they're creative. Like, when there's a protagonist that just punches things with fire magic, ooh so classic. When there's an antagonist with a destructive magic but there's one flaw or loophole about it that the protagonist has to figure out in order to defeat them, wow ok cool... BUT THEN THERE'S THAT ONE SIDE CHARACTER EITHER THAT DOESN'T GET ENOUGH SCREENTIME OR WE'LL NEVER GET TO SEE AGAIN THAT HAS A CREATIVE CONCEPT OF THEIR MAGIC: SUMMONS ANGELS, CONTROL BLOOD VESSELS, STABS THEMSELVES TO UNLEASH THEIR BUILT-UP MANA TO DEMOLISH SHIT. LITERALLY DESTROYS EVERYTHING INCLUDING THEMSELVES BECAUSE HELL NAH THEY AIN'T GOING TO JAIL.

...Sorry, I'm just rambling at this point, please excuse me. Now, onto the story!

• .............................................................................

• .........................This is boring.

• You thought that it's your time to arrive at death's door but no. Instead, you have to wait inside this stupid coffin for what it feels like eternity. Thank god that this fiery gremlin gave you an excuse to come out. This way, the Grim Reaper won't punish you for coming out of your coffin~

• Oh! It looks like this creature's name is Grim. How cute! Until he demanded that you strip. Not cute! What's that? He'll roast you if you won't strip off your robe? What a coincidence! Your little angels are hungry for some weasel, silly Grim 😊

• ........... Run🙂.

.

.

.

{Meanwhile, at the ceremony}

• While the Dark Mirror sorts all of the students to their respective dorms, Crowley went to the Hall of Mirrors to fetch the last coffin. He was quite puzzled when the coffin did not respond to his call to levitate to the ceremony room.

Dark Mirror: "Hmmm... Heartslabyul!"

Azul: "My, that's quite a number of students for this year."

Leona: "Yawn... When will this be over?"

Riddle: "How impatient, Kingscholar. There's only 1 hour and 23 minutes left until the ceremony ends and that's your 12th yawn."

Idia, via tablet: "Dude, you've been counting his yawns?"

Kalim: "Huh... Is that enough time for Jamil to prepare the Welcoming Party?"

{Meanwhile at Scarabia}

Jamil, setting up the plates: "WHERE IS THE CHICKEN SALAD?!"

Scarabia Student A, cutting the vegetables: "I'M MAKING IT--"

Jamil: "DO IT FASTER! WHY IS THIS KEBAB STILL RAW?!"

Scarabia Student B, holding a flaming pan: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

{Back at the ceremony}

Kalim: "...Nah, It's Jamil! I'm sure he can handle it."

Vil: "Bring the next coffin. I still have an interview tonight."

• The headmage returned to the room with no coffin.

Crowley: "... I think we'll be behind schedule for a bit."

Leona: "And what do you mean by that ?"

Crowley: "The last coffin is empty."

Vil: "... Pardon?"

Riddle: "How in Twisted Wonderland...?"

Azul: "Impossible. That can't be."

Crowley: "Do not worry! For I will graciously search for them myself--"

• Just as he was about to turn back with his lash, a small screaming monster burst through the doors and ran inside the room. The monster hid behind Crowley, using him like a shield. The students overheard the loud monster and pulled out their magical pens.

Grim: "FNYAAAAH! THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME!"

Crowley: "What the- Halt, monster! You should not be on campus-"

Grim: "THEY'RE SCARY! DON'T LET THEM GET NEAR ME! SHUT THE DOORS BEFORE THEY GET IN!!"

Crowley: "Who?"

??????! ???: "...Hehehe...😊"

• The two looked at the hallway of the door and see a silhouette of a person approaching the room. The headmage then recognized the robe and immediately thought that the person is the missing student. The alerted students put away your magical pen, thinking that the monster is your familiar.

Grim: "I-IT'S THEM! CLOSE IT! CLOSE IIIT!!"

??????!???: "Be not afraid 😇."

Grim: "Fnyaagh!!"

Crowley: "Ah! You must be the last student. Quite the impatient one, are you?"

??????!???: "I apologize. But I simply couldn't bear to wait any longer."

Crowley: "You must also tame your familiar properly! Look at how afraid he is of you!"

Grim: "Fnyagh?! Heck no! I'm not this weirdo's pet! A-and the Great Grim's scared of no one!"

??????!???: "You're not? Oh well, I guess I just misunderstood your appearance then."

Crowley: "He's not yours?"

Grim & ??????!???: "Nope!"

Crowley: "Then I will order students to throw this beast off of campus."

Grim: "FNYAGH! WAIT, YA CAN'T DO THAT! I'M A MAGE HERE! NOOOOO!! JUST YOU WAIT! I'LL BE THE GREATEST MAGE IN THIS SCHOOL!!!"

• The headmage then called a couple of students to restrain the monster and drag him out of the room. It's a shame~ You really thought that this feline will guide you to heaven but you couldn't help but feel a little bad. Just a little bit. Wait, did he just say school?

.

.

Crowley: "Ahem! Without further ado, let the ceremony continue! Please stand in front of the Dark Mirror and say your name."

??????!???: "...Why?"

Crowley: "To sort you, of course. Now go."

Leona: "Finally. This stupid ceremony better be over.... Yawn"

Riddle: "That's your 13th yawn."

Idia: "Bruh, just stop counting."

• You noted that some students still kept their guard up, thinking that if the monster was so scared of you to the point of running and hiding, then you might be the bigger monster. The students near you stepped away after sensing your heavy aura.

• The mask-wearing man shoved you in front of an old, intricately designed mirror. A face appeared on the surface, scowling at you.

Dark Mirror: "State thy name."

Sorano! Yuu: "Sorano! Yuu."

• The mirror stared intensely at you before expressing shock and disdain. Almost like it sees through you...

Dark Mirror: "...This soul does not belong in any dorm."

• The crowd of students gasped in shock and the headmage is in disbelief. Whispers among the students soon filled the room, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.

Crowley: "I do not understand! The Ebony Carriage would never... How?!"

Dark Mirror: "Thy soul... Is dark... Their soul is divine but impure... Their light is bright but tainted..."

Crowley: "Tainted?.... Could it be? Blot?"

Dark Mirror: "...This one possesses an art form of magic that is celestial, yet uses it for horrible intentions, throwing no caution of the power they hold..."

Azul, pushing his glasses up: "Celestial, you say?"

Idia: "Damn, this sounds like an anime scene."

Dark Mirror: "... The darkness in their soul has swallowed and layered their heart. Thus, they do not belong in any dorm."

[hunnylagoon]

Take Me to War

PT1 Friendly Fire

Streamer! Ellie Williams x reader

A writer, I think is someone who pays attention to the world. We are observers, it is in our nature to be off-putting and turn shallow things deep.

Premise: Your neighbour is becoming increasingly loud and you decide to do something about it.

PT 2 Here!

Two things I hate the most?

My neighbour and New York City.

They shared something in common, they never rest. I liked my quiet life in my small town until I was convinced that all of the greatest writers lived in the city, what a joke. I sold my virtue to move to New York and now my body burned with the shame of not belonging.

I worked as a journalist and in advertisement but it didn't fill the gaping mass that consumed me, I felt like a sellout so I quit to do freelance, and now I feel like even more of a sellout. Freelance is making me think that I hate ghostwriting more than I hate my neighbour and New York City.

It's like you do all of the work and get zero reward but I'm desperate to pay the bills and all that stuff I've been telling myself all my life 'I may never be a rich man but the rich man will never have me' well, the rich man most certainly had me. I was paid an almost criminal amount of money to pour my soul into art just for it to get stamped beneath a new name and make a gross income six times the size of what I sold it for.

I look for happiness everywhere but I do not find it. I search for it in things everyone seems to pry joy from; I go clubbing, walk in Central Park, and date around, but happiness doesn't seem to exist there for me.

I plead for it in my morning cups of tea with a spoonful of honey, the sunshine glittering in a puddle after a rainstorm, for a brief moment, it flickers in the light of my cinnamon-scented candle. The truth is I am almost comforted by my sadness and it is in my lowest moments that my creations are the most beautiful, it is like I am dead and I despise those who aren't for I enjoy the company of my silence more than anyone I have ever met.

It was my dream for my name to be above 'New York Times Best Selling Author' but instead, it is just my work beneath it and maybe that's why I'm so bitter.

Right now as I am trying to salvage the bits and pieces I was given by a washed-up pop star for her memoir my neighbour is screaming and laughing incoherently in their apartment, it makes me miss living in an actual house.

The noise usually started up when I would finish up my writing and get ready for bed, then it would go all the way through the night. The dumb fucker probably threw parties every single night; my roommate never faced an issue with this as she worked at a club and was usually working when the deafening noises would begin.

I on the other hand who lived in that apartment and worked from that apartment was always cursed to listen to the random thumps and spats of laughter that sounded all through the night. At least once a night when I'm sound asleep, I hear a bang against the wall and each time without fail, I'm brought awake with my heart thumping.

Trust me, I have retaliated.

On occasion when I'm sleep-deprived and at my absolute limit I'll bang on the walls, that only stops the noise for a minute. I've even complained to my landlord and that one week was heaven until it eased back to the clamour that I've almost grown used to.

Almost.

I still hate it.

I'm broken from my thoughts when my phone rings, it vibrates till it's almost at the edge of my desk and I feel for it; don't worry buddy, I wanna jump too. I read the caller ID and I almost wanted to gag, it was a woman from the publishing company who reached out to me and asked me to write Nicole Elliot's novel. Despite wanting to throw my phone against the wall to stop Noemi's constant checkups and get back at my neighbour while I'm at it, I answer the phone "Hey, Noemi!" I glance out the window where the winter sun has long set, leaving nothing but billboards, street lamps and neon signs to light up the New York night. Under the unforgiving lights I can barely make out the gentle snowfall.

"Hey," She draws it out and I can hear in her voice that she is smiling "I know it's a little late, just checking in, how is the draft coming along?" A loud thump sounds against my wall along with intolerant cackling "What's that?"

"Just some street noise," I dismiss "Anyways, the draft is coming along great, I'm a couple thousand words away from finishing it. I will of course send it to you and I would really love it if you could reach out to Nicole and ask for her opinion on it before I carry on with the final copy," I give a middle finger to my wall, even if my neighbour can't see me, it makes me feel a little bit more formidable "I did follow her outline, which was difficult but I think I salvaged it pretty well."

This time there is a yelp from my neighbour and what sounds like someone slamming their hands down onto a table, Noemi thankfully ignores it "You haven't been in touch with Nicole?"

My eyebrows furrow "She hasn't responded to any of my emails and she's been turning down all of our scheduled Zoom calls, so no, I have not been in touch with her."

"Weird," Noemi comments and there is a brief break of silence between us "She's been M.I.A on our end too," I could hear her scribble something down. "So can you get the draft to me by Friday?"

Two days? If I lock myself inside and don't see the sun then I totally can "Absolutely!" I do work better under a deadline.

"Great," She sounds almost relieved "We will hunt down Nicole, it would be nice to get her greenlight with this but whether or not she approves it, she has already signed off and it will be going to print."

"Okay," I fight the urge to respond with 'sick' or 'aight' because I'm an adult now and someone who is masquerading as a professional.

"Sorry, what was that you mentioned about an outline?" Noemi asks, she sounds more confused with each word "I wasn't aware Nicole made any-

She is swiftly cut off by a crash from the other side of my wall, when I say crash I mean it. It sounded like someone just bodied their car into drywall. My eyes went wide as I saw a crack splitting up my once pristine white wall. I hold my phone against my collarbone as I get up and pound my fist against the wall, giving it a kick for extra measure.

"Is everything alright?"

"Certainly," The nice thing about phone calls is that the person on the other end can't see your awkward habits or subtle outbursts (Or neighbours breaking through your shared wall). After I hit the wall, everything went silent for just a second before laughter sounded heavily from multiple people. "Noemi, thank you for sourcing me out to write this, I am really grateful for this opportunity I will send you that draft on Friday." I try to wrap up the call but she speaks up.

"Well, I've read your work and I was very impressed, I trust you will do well with this. Sorry to have called you so late-

"Thanks, have a nice night now!" I'm talking faster than I can even think, the only thing in my head is the fact that my neighbour is slowly deteriorating my wall.

"Wait-

Before Noemi can finish her sentence, I've hung up the phone. I'm leaning back in my cushy office chair, hands gripping my hair as I stare down the newly formed crack in the wall. I don't entirely like to be confrontational, even in school I hated drama, but I was beginning to think it was necessary.

I saved the progress I had made on the memoir and pushed myself up from my desk. I was clad in nothing more than a t-shirt and some plaid pants, it was my writing attire and in the moment I didn't care much to make a good first impression. It was fucking freezing the second I got up from my desk.

The moulding on my bedroom window was broken which allowed the frigid New York air to slip into my room and make me shiver with each breath. At my desk, I would usually have a throw blanket to shroud my freezing body but the moment I discarded it, I felt regret. I almost wanted to wrap myself in it to confront my neighbour but the pyjamas alone didn't help me look tough.

I did however shove my feet into some cow slippers and march right up to their apartment.

Apartment 2D stood in front of me, the pastel blue door making me angrier with every second that I looked at it. I rapped my knuckles on the wood and crossed my arms to stop me from shuddering.

My nerves built up as I slowly heard a door within the apartment shut followed by footsteps leading to the door. I would just ask them politely to quiet down and calmly work on a way to fix the shared wall that they are slowly ruining.

The door opens and staring me down is a woman. I had expected it to be a man to be truthful. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the colour teetered on the verge of auburn and brown. The woman is clad in a black tank top and grey sweatpants, it's almost parallel to my outfit.

"You need to be quiet," I say the first words that come to mind "And stop assaulting my fucking wall."

She sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "Are you apartment 3D?" She asks to which I nod "I knew you would be stopping by soon." She has this sheepish and almost sardonic smile on her face and despite the amusement she's portraying I can see sadness brewing in her green eyes like a storm.

"I don't know what you're doing in there where you are up all night, I don't even have a clue how you sleep and work with all this time to spare to be a nuisance." I say and then swiftly feel the urge to backtrack "I'm sorry, that was a little rude, but mate, I can't sleep or work when you're being loud doing whatever you do."

"Fuck," She mutters looking back into her apartment and then at me "I'm sorry, I'll keep it down."

"What about the wall?"

Her eyes look me up and down, settling on my cow slippers "I'll find someone to fix the wall."

I press my lips tight together, looking dead into her eyes, scraping my brain for something else to say. It was almost like I wanted to fight. I had expected this to be a full-out conversation that ended in yelling but god she was pretty and she was telling me just what I wanted. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I regard her once more with what I assume is a cold glare before ushering back into my apartment and slamming the door behind me, the whole time, my neighbour watches me from her doorway.

That was the first night of uninterrupted sleep I'd had in a month.

-

I woke up earlier than I would've liked when my roommate Margot came home from work at 4:56 on the dot. She made sure to slam every single door and cupboard before throwing herself onto her bed in all of her makeup and musty clothes that had to endure whatever happens at a nightclub between the hours of 8 pm and 4 am, which I can't imagine is very clean.

Still, even though I was a little ahead of schedule I fell into my morning routine. It started with ignoring my phone, this was followed by a mug of Bengal spice tea with a teaspoon of honey and a splash of cream.

Sometimes I would curl up on the couch, though it snowed last night and I loved fresh snow. Freshly fallen snow absorbed sound, it was like soundproofing for the earth. There wasn't anything like the rare peace you could find in New York. I figured I would have my morning tea on the fire escape.

My peaceful image was destroyed the second I pried my window open and crawled through I was hit with the intense smell of pot. "Shit," I mutter, instinctively wafting the scent away from my nose.

"Sorry, man," I see my neighbour leaning against the railing of the fire escape, nursing a joint. It hadn't crossed my mind that I shared a level of the fire escape with her, I had never seen her out here but now the smell of weed that drifted through the damaged moulding on my window made sense, I had always assumed it to be Margot.

"Joint for breakfast?" I ask, half-joking. A dusting of powdery snow adorns each step and railing, creating a delicate layer of white that contrasts with the industrial gray of the metal though it looks like my neighbour has pushed all of the snow off the platform.

"Nah, for dinner I guess, it helps me sleep," She's in the same outfit from last night, except her hair is now loose around her face and she threw a hoodie over her tanktop.

I furrow my eyebrows "You've been up all night?" The slight tension from the previous night has dissolved completely.

"Yeah," She says it like it was a stupid question and it partially was but I hadn't stayed up that late since New Year only because I was the designated driver and was in charge of getting everyone home safe. "I don't sleep much, that's probably why I keep you up all night."

I mean, I'd let her keep me up in other ways "Honestly, I've gotten used to it, it's almost like white noise." I try to sympathize even if it isn’t necessarily true.

"Next time I'm loud, you have every right to bang on my door and chew me out." She takes a drag from her joint and I watch as the smoke escapes her lips, her cheeks tinted pink from the cold.

"Good to know," I glance behind her at the open window and all I see are purple LED lights cutting through the darkness of her apartment. "Now I know that we share a fire escape I'll just crawl through your window and yell at you that way," I joke, taking a sip from my snoopy mug.

This makes her laugh in the slightest, she crushes what remains of her joint on the cold railing and tosses the bud into the pot of a dead plant that's covered in snow and has lived on this fire escape long before I moved in; one time I just about removed it but I felt bad, it's like I was evicting it from its rightful home "Feel free."

"Am I allowed to ask why you're up all night breaking the sound barriers?" I ask, pulling my fuzzy robe tighter around my body to fight the bitter air. "Are you the leader of a cult? Would it be better for the world in the long run if I push you right now?"

The corners of her lips curl up into a smile once again "You've figured me out, just know I've got some big plans with Koolaid," She plays into my teasing.

"It was flavour-aid, actually." I don't know why I said that.

"What the fuck is flavour-aid?"

"Koolaid basically," Silence stretches between us "So what do you actually do all night?"

"It's a bit complicated," She says, of course, it was complicated. "I work from home," She couldn't do something normal, she probably did voice acting or ran a podcast or some weird shit like that.

"Sick," Don't worry, I made myself cringe when I said that too "I work from home too."

"Yeah, you said something about work last night, are you in marketing?"

I shake my head "I'm a writer," every time I tell someone that, I feel a twinge of embarrassment. I know it wasn't a noble career like my parents had hounded me over, but it felt noble to me. I had two absent parents and was raised by a pack of wolves, I would devour as much food as fast as I could because I didn't know when I would be eating next. I was far too emotional to be around all of the narcissists who preferred their own faces to my company, the only friend I had was the written word.

Since then I have been serving my soul up to strangers through word documents.

The thought makes me homesick for the arms that did not hold me and I truly expect my neighbour to make a mockery of me, the way others have. The way they've told me 'It's a tough industry but hang in there!' and pat me on the back like I'm a hopeful child clinging to her mother's skirts.

"That's really cool," She smiles while she gazes out to the skyline, I can see her perfect side profile and ski-slope nose "I wanted to be a writer, I thought myself to be a poet, and then I thought myself to be a scientist and wanted to be an astronaut. Now, I'm here."

"Where's here exactly?"

"Working things out, figure it out as I go," She shrugs like she is unsure of her answer.

I think it's beautiful how everything around me has been touched by human hands and carries so much history. For a quick moment, my mind wonders to those who built this building, the calloused hands that crafted the iron railing and now my neighbour who was leaning against it. "What's the end goal with this whole freefall thing?"

"To make it out alive."

"And your name?"

"It's Ellie."

-

That night Ellie stuck to being quiet as she promised. The next night was a different story. I was so close to finishing the draft of Nicole Elliot's memoir and was praying that the deadline would pass with no issue.

However, the noise began again. I was coming around to like Ellie and I didn't want to go yell at her again so I shoved my headphones in and turned up my playlist as loud as I could. There is no song I can blast in my headphones to drown it out.

She did say that the next time I was loud I could come and chew her out, I wouldn't do that; I would just knock on her door and quickly tell her that she was being too loud, and then we would both carry on with our respective work.

I stopped in front of the smooth door and raised my hand to knock. Ellie slips the door open just a crack, when she sees that it's me she opens the door. "Hey, Ellie."

"Hello," She smiles "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She had a very nice smile.

We both know the circumstances of my visit but I spell it out anyway "Dude, you're way too loud, it's disruptive and I'm working under a deadline."

"I know, I'm sorry." She looks genuinely apologetic.

"I don't know any office job that needs you to scream for hours on end," Alright, that blows what could've been a simple visit where she apologizes and I leave, I always had to add on.

"Right, sorry," She carries herself with so much confidence that it is like she is wearing armour made of gold though she has these subtle awkward tendencies of someone who has never been loved and was forced to improvise. "It's hard to explain,"

"Yeah, you've said-

"Do you wanna come and see?"

I'm taken a little aback and for a minute I think this is all a ploy for Ellie to lock me in her her apartment and kill me because she is sick of her neighbour banging on her door "What?"

"Well, you've asked a couple of times and if you have a minute I can show you."

I pause, mauling over her proposal. I think of my laptop on my spruce desk, open to the final pages of the memoir and I make up my mind "Alright, just not too long."

"If you say so," Ellie opens the door wider for me to move past her and then shuts it behind us.

Ellie's apartment is what I had expected from her even though it is surprisingly nice. She has a large L-shaped sofa in the living room adorned with throw blankets and pillows and a huge flatscreen with a coffee table in front of it. The layout is exactly like mine but inverted, her open kitchen has some odd knick-knacks that looked like they belonged on an Amazon must-haves list.

I don't go into her bathroom and the door leading to one of the rooms (What is equivalent to Margot's bedroom) is shut. The apartment itself is pretty sparse aside from little bits and pieces as she only moved in a month prior.

On the left side, I see that purple LED spilling out of what I assume to be her bedroom.

She walks in ahead of me and the second I follow in after her there is one question I have to ask "Ellie, are you a porn-star?" There are entirely too many computers in here. Her desk is set up with one of those fancy triple-screen PCs and she has a laptop placed seemingly randomly on a white loveseat that's pressed against the right wall.

There is one of those galaxy lamps that projects that trippy shit onto your walls and ceiling. The screen of her PC is facing our shared wall and I can see a huge hole where I assume that a loud crash from the other night occurred. Plastered all over the walls are posters from video games and movies, many of which I hadn't seen.

"What?" She sounds nearly offended "No," she grabs a folding chair from the corner of the room and unfolds it beside her black florid office chair. She sits on the folding chair and motions for me to sit in the office chair. "Come, sit."

I hesitantly sit in the chair "Are you going to attack me now?" I ask, getting defensive for no particular reason other than it was in my nature "Because I've read The Outsiders and I'm pretty sure I can fight."

She chuckles "I'm not gonna fight you."

"Because I'd win?"

She furrows her eyebrows but has this look of amusement on her face "Yeah, definitely."

"So what is this?" I motion around at all of her equipment.

Ellie puts one earbud in then hand me the other "Chat," She says, looking dead at the camera clipped onto her PC "This is my neighbour who came to yell at me for being annoying, she has every right."

"Who are you talking to?"

"I'm streaming," She said, clicking something on the screen so it changed, instead showing Ellie and I in front of the camera, I looked absolutely lost next to a rolling chat bar full of jokes that I didn't understand and people saying hello to me.

"So I was right," I turn my attention to Ellie "You are an internet person."

"Yeah, I'm an internet person but you weren't right, I don't do porn."

"Not yet," I shrug "Times are desperate," To this, the chats come in even faster than before. "So do you just sit here all night and scream at people?"

"I play video games and do challenges, sometimes I do just sit here and scream at them."

"That makes so much sense," I say "If there's any job that needs you to be obnoxiously loud and annoying, it's a youtube personality."

"Okay, well-

"So you're like Logan Paul?"

Her eyes go wide "No-

"What explains why your eyes are so bloodshot."

"You are a writer," She says it like it's a fact I wasn't aware of "You are in no place to judge, you probably spend as much time in front of a screen as me."

I nod "I hate to say you're right," My attention shifts to the hole behind me "Can you explain how playing video games put a hole through the wall?"

Ellie looks almost embarrassed, she doesn't say anything in response, instead, she just clicks something to screen share with us in a little box in the corner and then goes into YouTube. She types in 'Ellie Williams falls through wall' My eyebrows furrow as I read it, and she clicks the first video that pops up.

The video starts off strong; Ellie is cackling at something that her friend off-camera is saying, her friend then makes a comment that makes her laugh even harder and she throws herself back in her chair. This act breaks it, you can hear the chair snap beneath the pressure and Ellie just lets it happen as the chair crashes against the wall. Her eyes go wide when she realizes she's just put a massive hole into the wall and seconds later you can hear me on the other side banging my hands on the wall. Her eyes go wide and she stares at her friend off-camera, all of the laughter stops abruptly before her friend can't hold it in anymore and erupts in chortles, and the video cuts off.

My hand flies over my mouth to fight back the laughter I so badly want to let out. Ellie and I sit wordlessly, the only sound being donations on the screen and my giggles slipping through. Eventually, I manage to compose myself and look to Ellie, I don't have much to say except for "Oh my god."

A/N: Streamer! Ellie won the poll so here we are. As I was drafting out the other chapters for When I Was Your Girl, I decided that it is most likely to be discontinued unless I do a rewrite which will not be in the near future. I’m not rocking with the plot and there was a lot of mixed feedback, sorry if you were invested I guess, but you have this series to be invested in now!

[brownhood69]

TFE RANT (also spoilers)

Okay, so for those of you who haven't heard of Transformers Earth Spark, it's basically a show where the cybertronian War is technically over and now cybertronians are trying to get used to the life on earth. But they are completely treated like they are animals. If you want to watch the show yourself then go right ahead it should be on Amazon Prime or on Paramount Plus because this will contain spoilers for the first season and the 2nd season so feel free to skip this.

ANYWAY!

So all of you know the Decepticons right?

👆

These guys?

Well, near the end of the last episode of season 1 of Earth Spark they all decided to work together with the Decepticons to take down mandroid, the main antagonist of season 1. There was also two episodes where one of the Decepticons started to have a relationship with the Malto family. Like for example

Nightshade and tarantulas:

And Starscream and hashtag:

See how these two GIFs are completely wholesome? Infact, the first season teaches that even though somebody could be on the opposite side of things that doesn't initially mean that they are a bad guy completely, just misunderstood.

It teaches that everyone can have a second chance if they really try but not everyone can really get that second chance.

And then season 2 comes around,

And BOY was I pissed off about it.

Now I haven't watched season 2 myself but I have watched one episode in it and that's it. remember that I said that the Decepticons finally decided to fight Mandroid thanks to Twitch and that some of the Terrans actually had some decent relationships with some of the Decepticons?

Well season two just completely THROWS ALL OF IT OUT OF THE FUCKING WINDOW!!!

When I watch season 2 I thought it was going to be all cool and hype and I thought everyone was just overreacting over season 2. NOPE! THEY HAD THE RIGHT TO BE UPSET! Because one episode in and I was immediately flashed banged with shock. Robby was explaining after 2 years of like saving cybertronians from Mandroid's destruction the quintus prime Stone (I don't remember what it's called) kind of shattered into like thousands of pieces across the globe. He then says that the Decepticons help them to retrieve them but then they decided to turn on them and get the shards for themselves. EVEN THOUGH THE FIRST SEASON SAID THAT NOT ALL DECEPTICONS ARE BAD!!

Like where did this even come from!? And why make them back into villains when we already saw the shot of them HELPING TWITCH AND HER FAM FROM KILLING ALL CYBERTRONIANS!? Like, what is the point of this!? If you're just going to make them bad guys anyway, why give the Terrans a chance to understand them and sympathize with the 'cons!? You had such a good new take on the Transformers yet you decided to throw away that said good take and just take it back to square one!

WHAT THE HELL HASBRO!?

*SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

And don't get me started with Bumblebee's relationship with Breakdown. You clearly set them up to be best buddies and then you just set that friendship arc on fire and just went on the 'Con vs 'Bot arc again. But the part that pisses me off the most is Starscream's abandon arc. Earthspark *clearly* wanted to make this Starscream as sympathetic as possible and this could have worked well. IF THEY DIDNT MAKE HIM THE MAIN VILLIAN IN SEASON 2!

And I guess prowl appearing in season 3 is kind of nice but it would have been better if he was like the villain instead of Starscream. If they were going to be good Decepticons then there has to be bad Autobots. But hey, Hasbro isnt keen on keeping promises are you Hasbro?

God, you had such a good idea and you just had to ruin it with season 2 and 3. I hope the rumors of Earthspark getting canceled are true thanks to this.

Also, GIVE US A TRUELY, ACTUAL, HEROIC, SYMPATHETIC STARSCREAM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! **AND DONT FUCK IT UP THIS TIME!!!**

Okay, I think I'm done for now, but I might add a part 2 if I decided to watch the rest of season 2 and season 3.

K bye!

[beatrixst0nehill]

"Owww, they ache so bad, Chat. OMG, why did you make me do this?I never wanted to be a titty streamer, I can't believe ya'll talked me into this, it's so fucking humiliating. I got fired from my job, you know? Cause my coworkers found my videos. They started getting sent to everyone at the office in a chain email. It was hard enough trying to explain why the mousy girl who did coding suddenly went from flat chested to having a giant set of cow udders jiggling all over the place. Because remember, Chat, my boobs are growing too fast for me to keep up buying bras. So I was walking around with these fat milk bags bouncing in my blouse or sweater. Dripping milk. People started joking that I should offer them milk in their coffee. I tried to pretend my breast growth was serious, like sudden macromastia that runs in my family. But nope, they found me.....

My boss eventually took me aside and ripped off my top, he smacked my breasts, squeezed them, spun me around, ripped off my skirt, and ass fucked me so loud everyone on the floor could hear it, then he spanked me and sent me packing, walking home with no clothes, only my purse and heels. My coworkers laughed and took pictures, my boss's cum dripping from my ass. Needless to say on the train ride home a few other men left their deposits inside me, and my tits were left nice and bruised. Now I'm here, still taking these pills like an idiot. I swear they lower your IQ--I specifically bought the ones that said they didn't affect intelligence but I seriously doubt that's the case. I know I'm getting dumber and I don't really care.... I don't need to be smart being a titty streamer with an OF, now do I?

Yes, I'm doing an OF. I know I said I wouldn't but how else will I make any money? I liked getting raped and used so much in the train and at work I think I'm going to just film myself in skimpy outfits getting ganged up and and force fucked. Does that sound like fun? From brilliant, flat-chested coder girl to a worthless, braindead slab of rape meat with a dumb-looking set of oversized udders. That's all I am now. All I'll ever be. I bet I'm already pregnant. Don't these pills have a warning that says not to get pregnant because they're a really potent fertility drug? Oops. Well, if I'm pregnant with ten kids my udders will just grow faster, and it'll make me such an easier target for men to force themselves on. Not like I'll be able to run away or fight back with a belly that big, it's almost perfect for a girl like me. Sorry, a braindead hucow. If I was still a girl and not a braindead hucow I'd get these ridiculous looking things chopped off, get an abortion, flush these pills, and beg for my job back. Instead, I kinda wanna wear a tiny sundress barefoot onto the subway, set up a camera, and see how many men take the bait and rape my dumb hucow brains out. I'll be sure to plead and beg and tell them I'm pregnant, as pedestrians just watch or film me getting force fucked over and over by whole groups of men..... Quite the career change, but I think this suits me more, don't you all agree? ❤️"

[ynbabe]

bffs with the rookies- incorrect quotes 1!

Just a lil sum sum to show more abt the relationships in the AU

Y/N: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough. Oscar: Yeah, you just catch it. Logan: Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit. Arthur: Then I just use a spear instead. Y/N: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Oscar: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?! Logan: Merry crisis. Arthur: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way. Y/N: Hoe hoe hoe. Oscar: Guys, please.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Oscar: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Logan? Logan: Arthur, easily. Arthur, laughing: What the fuck, man. Logan: Well, Y/N would be too easy. She’d probably be into it. Y/N, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

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Logan: How do I ask someone out? Y/N: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Logan: No! Arthur: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Logan: Stop! Oscar: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Logan: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

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Y/N: Fight me! Arthur: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle? *Later* Logan: Why is Arthur crying? Oscar: Y/N kicked him really hard on the ankle.

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Y/N, to Oscar: When was the last time you let someone hug you? Oscar: *thinking* Oscar: 2012. Arthur: 2012…? Oscar: Yeah. I almost died and it really freaked Logan out so I let him hug me.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Lando: You know what? Lando: When I joined this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit. *Y/N, Arthur and Oscar continue screaming about mold water* Lando:Not the other way around. Logan: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Lando: Mice are having sex in my walls. Arthur: Tattletale! Logan: You're just being ungrateful. Y/N: It's their home too, you know. Oscar: So what? Don't slutshame them. Lando: The mice are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled.

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Oscar: Team A will consist of myself, Arthur, Lando, and Logan. Oscar: Team B will consist of Y/N, cause she scares me.

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How Lando and Y/n became friends:

Logan: Why aren't there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like- Logan, to Arthur: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual. Y/N, to Lando: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire. Oscar: There are two types of people.

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Charles: I’m not mad, I just need to know why you two had a fake ID. Arthur: *Incoherent mumbling* Charles: Huh? Y/n: …You need to be 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Charles (brainstorming ideas for pranking Max): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost? Y/n: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. Charles: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? Y/n: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Charles.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts! Arthur, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack. Y/n, deadpanning at Arthur Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Arthur, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? Charles: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. Arthur: Ohhhh- Y/n: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Logan: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart? Y/n For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! Logan: Mean.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Dumbest scar stories, go! Oscar: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Charles: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Logan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Arthur: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Max: Max: I have emotional scars.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

When Max and Charles got spam called by Y/n and the group after their party:

Max: I CAN'T DO IT! Charles, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Max: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Lando: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Max: Max: I appreciate it, Max: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Charles: Max- Max: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Lando: Max we gotta- Max: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Max: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Max, motioning to Y/n, Oscar, Arthur and Logan: NOT FUCKING THIS

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Not sure if you ever answered this, but Why Does Tom Riddle Hate Himself?

Bonkers things I've written about Tom Riddle

You know, I don't know if I have clearly either, feel like it's been hinted at in this or that meta.

It's because it's the only way he makes sense to me.

What is the Deal with Voldemort

The thing about Voldemort is that we see so little of him... and what he does makes no fucking sense compared to his intended goals. So, if you take things too seriously like I do and get too in the rabbit hole of "what if I pretended there was no author" then you have to come up with a reason of why he does make sense.

I've seen some people say that "well, he's crazy". Problem is that he's a little too consistent for that and, more, 'crazy' becomes this nebulous term that's so vague it doesn't point to anything specific.

I've also seen people say, "well, maybe he's just really fucking stupid". And hey, very valid argument and one I have a hard time arguing against. Problem is... he's a little too effective to be stupid, and some of what he comes up with is too clever.

Not blowing his resurrection with immediately, placing Thicknese in charge versus directly being in charge himself, giving Draco an impossible task to make his family's demise as horrible as possible. He does a lot of weird shit that doesn't really make any sense, such as the timeout at the Battle of Hogwarts that seems to happen for no particular reason if he really wanted what he says he wants... but it's not what a very stupid person would do to achieve his goals.

So, then we have my theory, "he's a nihilist terrorist set on destroying all of society so he can say HA HA", and the thing about that is... there's no higher creed, no great ideal, it's just destruction for the sake of destruction. It's directionless rage at everyone and everything, and given how potent it is, it feels like he himself is included in that because he couldn't make his life work properly.

And when I think of it that way... things start to make a little more sense.

Why does he stay in the dilapidated ruins of Riddle Manor in Goblet of Fire? Part of it is he has to stay somewhere... but what if a part of it is "I will make myself as miserable as possible"? Why does he surround himself by these terrified people who despise him/mindless sycophants that he often seems contemptuous of? Why is he committing so hard to this absurd bit?

Why are the defenses for the locket horcrux ones that involve drinking the misery potion? The safest defense for that is that it's the same for everyone, Voldemort can't get to that Horcrux without drinking the potion to. Which means any time he'd want to get it... he gets to hate himself a little more.

There are many other ways he could have protected that locket, but he did this instead.

TL;DR

Nothing else makes sense to me.

[look-a-yandere-fandom-blog]

Denial | Oneshot

_________________________________

The Obsessed / Gender Neutral Reader

Fandom: Middle Earth: Shadow of War 

_________________________________

Romantic Yandere.

PT 2 | PT 3

_________________________________

Content Warning: Violence, stalking, delusional/obsessive/possessive behaviour, blood.

(If there’s anything else I need to add to these warnings, please let me know.)

I once told myself that I'd never write anything LOTR-adjacent because of the huge amount of lore surrounding it and fear of messing something up...

Apparently, I lied XD

I'll admit, this one's kinda OC-ish, as the obsessed are randomly generated rather than fully fledged characters, but I tried to keep it close to their in-game personalities/dialog.

How well did that go? No idea. Enjoy anyways!

_________________________________

Watch.

That is all you are here to do.

To survey. To observe. To gather intel.

To listen in on grumbled conversations and examine strongholds for weaknesses.

To keep your distance, and stay out of sight.

Travelling in the lands of Mordor is a perilous task. The dangers of which you are well aware of. It's terrain harsh and unforgiving. It's inhabitants even more so. You know the risks of getting caught.

Which is why your heart stops at the glint of a weapon overhead.

"A scout, eh? You pinkskins can't help sneakin' around where ya don't belong."

Your hand lunges for the sword at your hip, conjuring it just in time to block the downward swing. An axe meets your blade, the cold clatter echoing in the dark.

You look up, and a pair of beady eyes meet yours. Vivid yellow, almost aglow in the dying light of a nearby fire, set behind a worn helmet, its once-shining gleam reduced to a dull grey.

With a sidestep, you pull your blade back. The orc's weapon charging to the floor, but hitting nothing in its journey.

You glance around, searching for the safest escape route, your peripheral vision impaired by your cloak's hood. Your best chance is to get away from this outpost. Staying to fight means that others may become involved. Already at a disadvantage here, you are in no hurry to worsen your predicament.

However, the orc is blocking your path. You have to make it past him first.

A grumble sounds from the orc as he works to dislodge his axe from the ground. Curses are hissed under his breath, before it is yanked up in a flurry of dirt and dust. Focused on regaining his footing, he is distracted.

Holding your sword firmly, you sprint as an opening is given. The wind whistles in your ears as your soles hit the earth.

Mid-stride, his claws snatch your cloak.

You yelp, suddenly jerked back. As the fabric tears, he grabs for your forearm instead.

Sharp nails dig into your flesh. Indents left in their wake. Your wrist is kept in place, to stop you from ramming your sword into him.

He raises his weapon but...

It does not fall.

He stares. Baring his teeth as his eyes waver. Chest rising and falling steadily.

In your terror, you cannot make sense of it. He should have struck by now. He should have buried that blood-stained steel into your skull. Why does he not? Why does he wait?

The axe moves down slowly, agonisingly. Only centimetres from your face. A few specks of dirt land on your skin. The point is hooked under the hem of your hood.

He nudges the axe forward, bit by bit, until your hood falls back, collapsing around your neck. The fire's light glazes your features, illuminating your bewilderment.

There is a quiet noise from beneath his helm, a hum, while his head tilts to the side. His eyes flicker back and forth, scanning what they have found. An animal analysing its catch.

Then, he leans in. With his weapon still so close, you do not dare to retaliate, should he be spurred to attack.

The orc's helmet bumps against your forehead; an icy contrast to the warmth of your skin. Nose to nose.

Seconds tick by in silence. He seems to be settling, nearly dazed in demeanour. A million thoughts hovering behind his distant gaze which you do not know. And you hope you never will.

A single word is mumbled, almost subconsciously, barely heard over your own panic.

"Mine..."

His axe lowers, hanging loosely by his side...

You take your opportunity.

A kick to the leg and his balance is shaken. You wrench your arm from his hold, drawing blood as his nails scrape across your flesh.

Without looking back, you run.

You run until you cannot breathe. Until you are far from that outpost. Until you are far from him.

In the days after, you shove the encounter out of your mind. Nothing new can be discovered by wondering. Recalling the experience over and over will not reveal any unknown truths.

Yet, as you set yourself back to work, something feels... different.

Wherever you venture, there is the sensation of something watching you. Hiding in the bushes, perching atop a tower, lurking in the dark.

Never free of it. Never a moment without it.

You chalk it up to nerves. Merely the weight of your post getting to you. Besides, if you were found, it would be more efficient to bluntly attempt to kill you. There is no need for an enemy to spy on a scout.

You tell yourself that it is naught but fear. Pathetic fear. Again and again. Till you almost believe it.

Thankfully, you soon need to report to your superiors. Leaving this place should give you a few days of freedom from the poisoning paranoia of Mordor's lands.

The world is quiet as you take cautious steps across the night, approaching the border into Gondor; staying far from every fortress and outpost you know.

It is not entirely silent. The sounds of unseen creatures and distant altercations resound in the shadows. Leaves rustle upon trees. Rocks crunch and clink under foot. Your torn cloak flutters like a bird's wings behind you.

There is an odd security in the isolation. A comfort in the solitude. You feel alone. For the first time in days, you feel completely and entirely alone.

Until you spot them...

Eyes. Yellow eyes. Watching you.

A shaky breath of disbelief leaves your lungs. The chance of encountering him again, all the way out here, is too small to be coincidence. He followed you. No doubt in your mind. But for what purpose, you have no clue.

The figure emerges as his lips curve up into a crinkled grin. Armour outlined by a dull sheen in the moonlight.

The confusion that filled his expression during your previous encounter has been replaced. His eyes flicker instead with an unnerving resolution. A determination that you cannot place the source of.

In a moment of déjà vu, you reach for your sword.

"Identify yourself, orc." Clutching your blade tightly, as though a lifeline, you demand an explanation, a name to the spectre that has haunted your every step.

"Ratak." The figure responds simply. No statement of purpose, nor who he serves. Only a name.

"And what do you seek?" You urge, refusing to let your guard down.

He giggles, as though you were silly for even asking.

"You o'course, love."

His voice is different. No longer the threatening sneer heard when you first met. Now, it is horrifyingly casual. As though what he speaks were common knowledge.

Your eyes narrow, angered.

"Do you think me a fool?" A hiss snaps from you, now glowering at him. "What are you here for? Why do you follow me?"

"I've told ya already, I'm here for you..."

He is insistent. Unchanging in his conviction. You refuse to believe it. You cannot. You do not want to.

Starting to feel uneasy, your words become sharper.

"Enough with the games, orc-!"

"Games? You're the one that's been toying with me, love... Makin' me chase you about... always runnin' off before I can get close..."

The orc treads forward, and you swiftly put more space between you and him. A growl-like noise seeps from his pointed teeth.

"Cruel thing... lettin' me catch you, hold you next to me... and then scurrying away..." Accusatory notes seep into his voice as he continues to step closer and closer.

Envy swirls in his ribs. Aching. Ratak's mind enveloped by this feeling. A bleeding ache, festering in your time apart. Every backward step you take sends his thoughts spiralling.

"Why d'ya run, hm? Is there someone else keepin' you from me? Another uruk? A bloody human?" His tone distorts, laced with a jealousy you never imagined that you would see in the flesh.

Ratak would be ashamed of himself, humiliated by how desperate he is acting, could he only think clearly. If his every thought was not preoccupied with that flittering encounter from nights before. If his fingertips were not still stained with your blood. If that pain in his ribs could only stop.

"I am tired of this, orc." You cut off his jilted questions, stuck in your denial. More willing to dismiss his delusional words than ponder the sincerity behind them. "Leave me be. I would rather not have to fight you."

The orc falls still. Hands twitching as he processes your words.

Leave. You want to leave? To scamper away from him again? To make him want to keep you and then cause this suffering in his chest and then... then..!

In a storm of rage, you plummet to the forest floor. The air is knocked out of your lungs as he lands atop you.

"You just won't bloody listen!" He yells, spittle falling into your face. "Your stupid 'duty' and all that's keeping you from stayin' with me, isn't it?"

The point of your sword is aimed to his torso as he looms over you, his hands pinning your shoulders. Ratak does not pay the blade any attention, as though oblivious to it, consumed by his fury.

"You're givin' your loyalty to those weak, worthless, human scum, when it should be mine! You should be mine!"

His frustration is beginning to break through to you. To crack through your guard of denial. Every word feels genuine, feels weighted; the emotion behind it far too strong to be an act.

"Can you not hear yourself?! Your claims are ludicrous-"

"Ludicrous? Ludicrous!" He cuts you off, indignant. "I don't care if I'm bein' ludicrous! You're the one who's makin' me feel like this, you can bloody deal with it!"

Ratak's breaths are heavy, ragged, his face contorted. He pushes himself closer, the sword starting to pierce his skin.

But, despite the weapon pointed to it, the pain in his chest dissipates. Slowly but steadily. He leans closer, it fades a little more.

Nervousness builds as you look up at him. Stunned as he leans in, drops of dark blood trailing down the blade and onto your fingers, the edge slicing his flesh.

Until, finally, the metal of his helm reaches your forehead once again.

Not enough.

He reluctantly removes a hand from your shoulder, tugging his helmet off and tossing it aside.

Returning to your skin, his hand coils around your throat. The action reminiscent of distorted affection, yet also an unspoken threat.

Now, the orc lays his head over yours. His thin, wiry, hair falls to either side of your face, his anger fizzling to a quiet rumble of thunder rather than a blazing hurricane.

"Love..." he mutters the nickname. Despite the word's unfamiliarity, it feels right to him.

"My love, we... we both know you're s'posed to be mine... they don't matter anymore, no one else does... it's you and me..."

Ratak's claws against your neck, your sword pressed to his heart. His fingertips stained red, and yours stained black.

Both trapped, held at each other's mercy.

"Just you and me... for ever..."

_________________________________

[silassinclair]

Say My Name

Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Reader

CW// 16+ Content, Abduction, Guns, Yelling, Talk of Murder

Introduction (Optional to read)

Last night my life changed forever. My Father managed to get on the bad side of a wanted outlaw by the name of Maddox Graves. And that very same night that very same outlaw killed my Father in cold blood. I thought I’d be next but instead he bound my ankles and hands and threw me with him on the back of his horse. We’ve been riding for hours and I have no clue where this psycho is taking me. Maybe somewhere far away to do diabolical things to me. If that’s the case then I’d rather be dead.

“What’s on your mind princess? You were thrashin‘ and screamin’ a few hours ago. Where’d that fire go?” Graves turns his head slightly back to face me. But I look away. Being this close to him was the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my life. But I had to keep my arms around him as to not fall off the horse and break a bone. I need to be in top condition if I want to escape.

“Nothing…” I mutter. But that answer doesn’t seem to satisfy the greedy bastard. So he halts his horse with a gentle tug of the reins. For a psycho murderer criminal he’s nice to his horse.

“You hungry? Gotta piss or somethin'?” Even though he has a bandana covering his mouth I can tell he’s annoyed by the way his eyes wrinkle slightly.

“No! I’m fine..”

But I’m not fine. How could I be fine? This animal killed my Father and is taking me only God knows where! We've been riding through this desert for hours and it's almost sundown. I'm scared shitless of potential bandits and I'm literally starvi-

Growl~~~

"Your stomach is tellin' me otherwise sweetheart." I can practically hear the smirk on his stupid face.

Hugging myself I sigh in defeat. "I haven't eaten in over a day.. So of course I'm hungry. I just have no appetite."

Lies. I could eat a horse.

"Well you're lucky because look on ahead princess."

Moving my head up and to the side to see over his broad shoulders I see a town less than a mile ahead. I thank the lord in my heart and soul.

"Now don't go thinkin' you can run off and escape. You go to anyone for help and I'll shoot em' dead like your old man." He adds.

Well that dug deep. Scowling, I kick him in the shin causing him to hiss a low curse.

"Watch your mouth. You may be all big and bad but I'm not afraid of you. I won't let anyone disrespect my Father. Especially not the likes of you." I say. But Graves only furrows his eyebrows and crosses his arms. He hops off his horse and grabs me by the waist, pulling me down with him.

"Get off you mongrel!" "Silence that mouth of yours before I gag it!" He snaps, I immediately do as I say. This unpredictable gunslinger could kill me or worse in seconds. I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. My initial plan was too cooperate so I could escape but here I am blowing it. But it's hard because he pisses me off to kingdom come.

His hands are still on my waist as he pulls me closer and speaks, "Do you have any idea why you're alive girlie?"

I feel myself unwillingly do a full body shiver. His eyes were a dark brown but not a normal brown. Almost red due to the sun's setting light shinning down on us. He asked me a question but my throat can't conjure a reply. I only shake my head 'no' back and forth.

"It's because I think you're pretty, and I'd hate to waste a pretty lil' thing like yourself." He slurs. His rugged hands go lower, I can feel them. The fabric of my dress protects me from his direct touch but the violating feeling is all the same.

"So young and precious, you-" He pauses. "What's your name? I never got it."

What a dunce. I sigh and remove his hands from my waist, luckily he doesn't fight back.

"It's Y/n. Y/n L/n."

His eyes soften, but only barely. There's still a hunger behind them. "Y/n..." He tests the name on his tongue.

"I like that. But I like princess more. Sweetheart is a good one too. It matches that cute face o' yours. Or missy when you're bein' a bad girl." His hand goes under his chin as he lists off the stupidest pet names ever.

I deadpan and shake my head back and forth. Pinching my nose bridge I look over at the town in the distance.

"So aren't you gonna ask what my name is?" His sudden voice whispering in my ear and his fingers grazing my neck makes me physically jump and clamp my hand over my neck.

"D-Don't do that!" I shout and take in a deep breath. I'm probably a tomato right about now.

"And I already know your name." I scoff and cross my arms, turning away from him. But he walks around me to try and get me to face him, which I turn again and again after every attempt me makes.

"I wanna hear you say it though. Bet it'd sound real' sexy comin' from your lips." Grave's hands squeeze me around my biceps and lock me in place, leaving me to look no where else except for those devilish eyes of his.

Knowing him for the day I've been around him I know he won't relent. He'll keep me here until I give in.

Sighing I say his name. "Maddox Graves.."

It came out softer on accident. Maybe I'm exhausted. But looking at his concealed face I can see his wide eyes.

"Say it again." He whispers. His grip tightens. It hurts and I whimper in pain but his eyes still bore into mine.

"Maddox Graves." I say firmly. But he groans and shakes his head back and forth. A dissatisfied groan leaves him.

"No not like that! Say it how ya' said it before!" He whines, but he still sounds aggravated.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about..." I mutter and clench my teeth. He has the grip of a bear trap.

"Say it like a wife would! Say. my. name!" He snaps and jerks me forward. My eyes widen in fear at his outburst and I'm reminded that this is no normal man. He's a killer. A dangerous outlaw and the one who killed my Father.

But what he said has me confused. What does he mean by that? He must tell how confused I am because his grip loosens.

"Just... Say it like ya' don't despise me."

That's damn near impossible. But if I want to survive and get food in my stomach then I need to perform.

"Maddox." I say only his first name this time. Gently, I raise a hand and lay it over his that is on my arm. Both his hands drop and I hear his let out a long breath.

He says nothing but he turns away from me and hops onto his horse. His hand reaches for mine and I take it. He pulls me up but I nearly fall over. The control I have over my legs is lacking because of their bound state. Luckily he catches me with an arm.

"Easy now sweetheart. I don't want ya' gettin' hurt. After all, I know what I'm gonna do with ya now." He says in a low timbre that strikes fear into my core.

"Hya!" He shouts and his horse walks in the direction to the town ahead.

This unpredictable psycho... I'm at a complete loss here. What can I do? I'm hopeless! His behavior is nearly bipolar and he's a walking weapon. But now he has a plan for me? Whatever it is I don't want it...

[kanmom51]

Missing Jikook today

Not that I don't miss them every single day, but just saying...

@wonsummernight Miss your edits!!!!!! I know there isn't any new Jikook content just yet, but if there was a time we were in dire need for some heart wrenching Jikook edits, this is it!!!

Basically, this is me telling you "PLEASE COME BACK". 💜💜

So, I came today to cry a little, you know commiserating together with others takes the edge off a bit (note to self: keep telling yourself that, and you might start believing it too...), but also to remind y'all that SM is crap, a viper pit, a cec pool, where all the miserably unhappy ignorant assholes tend to flock to (this is about the assholes that have turned sm into such a place), either to create drama that will get them some much needed attention they aren't getting elsewhere, or to create a parallel universe where their dreams and wants come true, even if they have zero standing in reality. Oh, and I forgot those that are there to make some hard cash, by all means.

And why am I mentioning all of this, you may ask?

Well, because for some reason my hopes and dreams for a fandom cleanse are being shattered as we speak.

As you may already know, I've taken a step back lately. mainly distancing myself from SM, as it's been going downhill for ages now, but has become an even uglier place to visit in the past few months, I'd say ever since it's been known that JK and JM are enlisting TOGETHER and will be serving TOGETHER, basically being in each other's close vicinity 24/7 for 18 months (even if not sharing exact same duties within the unit) and spending off time together . And to clarify once again: Same unit, same posting (base), different duties within the unit.

You'd think that 3 months in, and after the initial shock, reality and truth would set in (even with the most delusional) that these two young men CHOSE to enlist together (free choice and steps taken by both of them to achieve this). And once again me reminding they are the only ones in the group to decide they want to do this and the only idols to ever do so.

But no. Who am I kidding? Probably wishful thinking on my part. You know, that these people will either wake up, smell the roses and just cope with reality, or plain and simply piss off (that's probably me being delusional at this point).

Point being, it's gotten even worse. Like who would have believed that would happen? Yeah, probably should have seen it coming though. When you have cult behavior, when you have those that profit off it (monetarily or otherwise), I should have known it would go this way. The need to dive even deeper into the filth of this earth, to create even dumber narratives, to, of course, spew even more hate towards either of them (depending what delusional team you are on).

Should have seen it all coming.

Sadly, instead of just leaving, tail between their legs, they are doubling down on their utterly delusional beliefs regarding these young men. Not without pain, I may add. Pain, that a small part of me, someone that tries very hard to be nice and good and positive, is now relishing (I lie... not that mall of a part after all). Their twists and turns, their made up shit to compensate for whatever shit JK, JM or Tae are throwing their way... kind of priceless. I mean, if they aren't going anywhere, should we not at least enjoy their demise?

Does that make me a bad person?

Honestly, I don't think so.

And Jikook being away from most of this, lighting the fire and walking away leaving their haters behind to burn, was a nice touch.

Now we just sit here silently wait for our little travel show...

💜💜

[badkitty3000]

What did you think was ooc for Five?

Great question, and I have already covered it a bit in my post here, but I could probably yammer on all day about it, so I'll add some thoughts.

Season 1 -3 Five was focused, determined, manic, arrogant, sometimes mean, violent, out-spoken, and full of love for his family above all. Yes, he insulted them and had no time or patience for their shit, but considering everything he'd been through and what he was up against, there was a reason for it. Season 4 Five? Ok, yeah, I can buy that maybe he was depressed and didn't really know what to do with himself anymore. Myself and others have certainly written him that way a few times. But, damn, he spent like all of season 3 bitching about wanting to be retired and here he could be! He could have played the stock market a few times, bought a little place somewhere, picked up a nice lady at the local Bingo hall and lived his peaceful live he deserved. Instead, he works (inexplicably) for the government and just wanders around with his sad little trenchcoat and CIA-issued pistol and flashlight, taking orders from The Man and just...existing I guess. I could see if they made it so that he joined the CIA to get inside info on Reginald and he had spent the last 6 years quietly plotting to take him down and get his revenge or set the world straight again. But no...he apparently hadn't even tried to look into anything Reggie was doing? Like he was just "*shrug*, it's probably fine".

Five loves his family above all else. We know this. If not, he wouldn't have spent decades alone fighting to get back to them and save all their stupid asses. Now, all of sudden, he just doesn't seem to care? Yes, he's present and has obviously kept in touch. He goes to the birthday party, etc. But there is zero interaction with Klaus, or his nieces, or even Viktor. When at the end, he finally gets some fight back (although for completely absurd reasons) and snaps at Luther, the whole family gasps in shock like this is some new occurence that Five would be mean to them. And he'd said much worse to them before! So, that leads me to believe he just has spent the last 6 years being a completely different person and everyone forgot he's actually an asshole?

And back to the family thing...fighting his brother over his wife? Falling in love with Lila, the same person who: conspired behind his and Diego's back in Season 2, was raised by his villainous boss, was the daughter of two innocent people he killed, tried to kill him with her fists, a frying pan, her feet, a knife, electrocution; and who he tried to kill multiple times as well. Yes, they have had time to heal some wounds and they have a shared traumatic experience with The Handler but come on...he would never! He would never be attracted to her that way. He would never betray Diego that way. And he certainly wouldn't fight him over her, not when she and Diego are married and have kids together. I don't care how many years they were together alone...just no. Best friends? Sure. Lovers? Fuck no.

Physically, where was his prowess? Five is supposed to be the all-time badass assassin, trained in martial arts and weaponry. His body is young at 19-20 years old, and at the peak of his physical fitness. Even without his powers he should be able to kick some ass, or at least try to. And then when he does have his powers, he just doesn't know how to use them correctly anymore? And again, he looks slow and weak in a fight. His solution to taking down the big Bennifer blob thing was to fire an entire clip at long range at it, and then just go "huh...weird that didn't work". Why wasn't he looking around the mall for a weapon? An axe? Something else to fight against it! That's what he does...that's his THING! We were fucking robbed of a Five-centric badass fight scene, when there were so many opportunities for one. Hell, he could have taken down a room full of Keepers with a fucking ballpoint pen while singing along to Abba's Dancing Queen! Why didn't we get that?

Meeting with Reginald. Remember in Season two when Five met with Reggie at the Tiki bar? He sat and had a drink with him, but it was still tension-filled with a lot of emotion there. Then in Season 3, when he was basically like "you're a sadistic lunatic that is going to kill all of us" and got right in his old man's face and told him he was a giant dick? This time...he's just standing around Reggie's house shooting the shit and not even acting like he's mad. That is just not the same guy. I realize this was supposed to be Viktor's fight with Reggie, but they still could have shown Five to have a little emotion there.

So, there you have it. I could probably keep going, but this is way too long as it is. It's just heartbreaking, really. This character that we have all come to love for all of his complexities and faults and heroics was just diminished to a one-dimensional, uninteresting character with no regard for his family. Basically, just undoing three season's worth of plot and character development. And it's not Aidan's fault. He did the best he could with the shit he was given, and I feel sorry for him. For as much as we love this character, Five was his. He made him come to life and there's not many other actors his age that could have pulled that off. So, I'm sad this was his end. They really did him dirty.

[strangetomato]

do you have any advice/things you wish you knew starting out for a neurodivergent person wanting to work on a sims story as ambitious as SHWC? particularly related to workflow, burnout, and other periods of mental unhealth. (also patiently excited for the next update — i first started reading SHWC in high school and seeing your ripp and ophelia again feels a little like coming home in a way i can’t explain)

This is a great question. 

It is honestly very pleasantly surprising to me that I've been able to persist and come back to this story, and I'm not sure what’s been different about this project to keep me coming back. I think it comes down to loving the game and the source characters so much and then diving so deeply into developing them. They are so fully formed for me that they will just resurface in my mind from time to time, even now after 7+ years after the last update. I dream about them sometimes.

I tend to cycle through interests/fixations in the way many of us NDs do. Some come and go after a good run and never really seem to return. Others are perennial faves that I know will resurface eventually. The Sims 2 has been the most significant one in my whole life so far, so I think that really helps.

So as for advice: pick something you love. I'd say even do one better than me and zero your focus in on your favourite characters, your favourite character, period. Really weed out anything that isn't exciting to write about for you. 

Upon returning this time, I’ve given myself permission to not bother with the stuff that doesn't interest me as much, or that once did but doesn’t so much now. If you're struggling with having enough spoons or getting enough dopamine to get through the work, forcing yourself to tell a story you aren't that interested in is not going to work. I previously stalled out mid chapter in a Veronaville side story precisely because I really wanted to be writing about JRO or the other main cast instead.

Posing scenes with characters you love provides you with dopamine because it just brings joy to get the shots looking just right, seeing their expressions, etc. I also like doing sorta arty things with the images, because that tickles my brain and keeps me interested, too. Or decorating. Sometimes decorating the set is what does it for me. Find what interests you the most and do it. 

I'd also say simplify the image-making, too. Cut corners. Don't pose everything! You don't have to illustrate every little movement. Use the text. I can't count how many times Ophelia has ruffled Ripp's hair, but I have never once shown it. You can get away with so much in just the writing. If posing it all out sounds fun and the result would please you, then do it. If not, describe it in the text. Easy. Done.

Similarly, you can have a scene, say, where two characters are talking or someone is thinking and the image is just a close up of a picture in a frame. Vary things up and it will keep things interesting and your attention span will thank you.

And vary things between closeups and wide shots, use different perspectives. Do a birds eye view… then you don't even need a facial expression. A shot of just the feet. Why not? Wide shots with a lot of very posed characters in them takes a lot of effort. Use them wisely. You simply don't need to do that all the time. Varying the perspective and closeness of the shot conveys different things in the story as well. It's part of the storytelling, particularly the emotion.

Okay, what else…

Keep a tiny notebook or document on your phone with you at all times, so you can jot things down as they come to you. Take your best advantage of those moments when your brain is firing, even if you’re in the lineup in the grocery store, etc. I have written entire scenes in my brain while driving on the highway, then pulled over to jot it all down. (Obviously, pull over to write, if you’re driving, lol.)

I have a very nonlinear brain, for better or worse. I tend to work up a bunch of stuff simultaneously, rather than going from point A to B. Currently, I have documents for about 5 or 6 updates, which I jump around in. Also one for “story bits’ where I dump any little snippet that pops up in my brain. I've stopped doing images that far in advance, though. Too often I change things and it helps me to focus on the update at hand if I only shoot scenes within the current update.

Working so far ahead in writing can be helpful with sticking it out, because I have good stuff I really want to share further down the line.

That said, I've also had success doing Camp Nano and sitting down and just writing. For me, this is also still jumping around and doing a lot of little scenes. But sometimes just starting to write and letting it all randomly flow out will be surprisingly productive.

Burnout is very real. Taking a break is really the best idea. Playing the game or posing very indulgent shots just for fun for can help. Rest as much as you can, and do things you enjoy.

Mental health concerns are tough when it comes to this stuff. Again, taking a break and focusing on recovery is for the best. I find that when my mood goes off, I need to get off of all social media. If you find you are feeling bad more often than good when in the sims community, it’s probably time to get offline for a while.

I'm still feeling out the difference between ND burnout and depression in my own life, even in my past. For myself, the mood stuff is more of a seismic shift (and has the more distressing negative thoughts) while burnout does still settle in from time to time, even when I’m otherwise well. Burnout needs rest. Depression needs movement. Both need sleep. This obviously goes beyond what I’m going to get into here. Try to find a good psychiatrist.

In general: take your meds, get enough sleep, get some physical activity, find community.

I really like going for a walk with headphones on. (Be careful, obviously.) I have a nature trail nearby, so that works well for that. Like many, I use music to inspire me with writing/creating, so this is a nice combo of exercise/nature/sensory immersion/creative inspiration, and I can easily stop to jot down notes. Or do it really sloppily while I’m still walking.

I’m not sure if that fully answers everything. 

Workflow is not my strongest area. I do think having smaller goals is helpful. If you have the writing all completed, try not to think about the chapter as a whole and how much is left to do. Set a small goal, like doing something every day, no matter how small. I make physical checklists to feel the progress more concretely as well. You can storyboard things out to help guide you, or give yourself permission to freestyle it and not worry about it matching the text perfectly. I have changed the text to match the image when something new came up like that. It’s nice to have the ability to do that.

Thank you so much for the kind words. :) Coming back to work on the story has given me a positive obsession that I’ve been lacking in more recent years, despite being otherwise mentally well. The update is coming along. It’s hard to predict exactly when I will complete it, but it is steadily approaching. Thanks for the great ask and have a nice day! :) Good luck with your project.