#well this took me longer than it should have

[thisweknow]

I very much understand your frustration with the "you! are! valid!" Tumblr culture from the mid-2010s, that was something that honestly made me feel so isolated as a teenager. I hated hearing "it gets better!" and watching my life fall further and further apart with everyone telling me that it would all be fine one day. It felt hypocritical. It WAS hypocritical—to tell me my feelings and my experiences were valid and then to just absolutely steamroll me when I expressed my frustrations and fears.

I started to favor the phrase "everything changes" around the time I turned 16. I liked the idea of neutrality, it was something I'd seen as a suggestion relating to body positivity, which I struggle(d) with greatly. The basic premise was that if you couldn't say anything positive, try saying something neutral. Everything changes is neutral. It's not saying it'll get better necessarily, but not that it would be worse, either. It felt like the closest to a truth I could have. What I was dealing with in any given moment wouldn't last forever. Everything changes, my circumstances today are entirely different than my circumstances tomorrow, even if it doesn't always feel like it.

I've let that phrase carry me for years. In the bad moments I remind myself that everything changes, and the world parts that suck won't suck so immediately forever. In the good moments I remind myself that everything changes, and I should hold on to those and savor them for what they are, even if they're peppered in with the worst moments.

It's not to say that I don't remember the bad moments now—I very much do. I can remember a lot of the trauma of my childhood and if I let myself sit with it for too long I can feel what it was like to sit awake at 3 AM sobbing in my room wishing that I was no longer here. I don't think I will ever truly forget that. I can say that those parts aren't the part on my mind anymore. When I look back at my life I tend to look with rose colored glasses at the parts that were good. The moments I spent with my friends, the nights I'd sneak out to ride my bike in the peace and silence of the small town I lived in, the rehearsals for plays that I dreaded going to but loved being in, the way my dog would curl up at my feet and sleep there all night when I was sad—the list goes on. The bad parts are still very much remembered and acknowledged, but the good parts are the ones I think about and the ones I miss.

I know that I struggled for a long time with feeling guilty about having moments I looked back on that I didn't hate. This was especially true after leaving an abusive relationship. I knew the person I had left had been abusive and had done horrible things to me, that I had sustained damages that I wasn't sure I could recover from. Yet I still had moments I looked back on fondly. Moments where I had genuinely cared for my abuser, moments of sweetness and moments of joy, moments of calm and peace that I hadn't had with anyone else. I felt like looking at those moments somewhat fondly cheapened my experiences, as if it was somehow an admission of fraud to acknowledge that even the worst thing that had ever happened to me had its silver linings. It took years of therapy and dedicated self work to finally understand that abuse doesn't happen in a vacuum and that it's okay to miss those good moments, however many there might be, even when we know the overall situation was awful.

It's okay to savor the good things when they come your way. A journal entry from when I was about 17 sums it up really well: I don't want to be happy all of the time. If I was happy all of the time I wouldn't really feel happy anymore, would I? It would just be my normal, my neutral. I want to feel positive at least 75% of the time, that's my goal. I want to feel sad sometimes, too. I want to feel angry and hurt, I want to feel excited and happy and in love, too. I want to experience every emotion life has to offer, even the sucky ones. I don't think I would appreciate happiness if I didn't experience everything else, yknow?

btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.

[relia-robot-writes]

Export Restriction

We'd gotten all the way through airport security without problems. Its normally hypervigilant attitude had turned docile, and it hadn't even been pulled aside for a special search, just waved through. I thought we were lucky. "Good work, doll," I murmured to it, tracing the line of its jaw where metal met synthflesh. "Very good."

I wasn't prepared for it to collapse onto the floor in a compacted-for-storage ball.

I knelt down next to it, reaching a hand out to touch its shoulder in concern. "Doll? What happened? Are you all right?" When my gentle query was met with nothing more than a small shudder, I hesitated for a moment, but I couldnt help it if I didn't know what was wrong. I put some authority into my voice. "Combat Doll 826-7, report."

It didn't uncurl, but it did speak up. "Combat Doll 826-7, status: red."

I felt a sting of panic. Red could mean a lot of things. "Elaborate."

"This one... this one is not a good doll. This one is useless. It should be decommissioned."

"Whoa, hey, don't talk like that." I sat down next to it. "That doll did very well! You didn't attack anyone, or jump, or even acquire any micromissile locks!"

"Only because it would have been pointless to do so. This one is outmoded. It used to be the case that this one would not have been allowed to leave the country, except on deployment."

"We've left the country together before, though." I kept rubbing its back, tracing my fingers gently across recharge ports and armor seams.

"There were still restrictions! Special search procedures! Weapon lockdowns! This one didn't even get pulled aside for a special search this time!" It wailed. "It is no longer a threat worth being concerned about! Useless! This one is incapable of being your protector!"

My hand stilled. "So that's what this is about, huh," I murmured. "Doll, look at me."

It uncurled itself just enough to meet my gaze. It looked truly miserable. If it had tear ducts, I think its face would have been a mess. "Listen to me, doll. You may not be top-of-the-line anymore. You might not be an automatic threat to aircraft with modern security measures." Its chest hitched, but I plowed forward. "But you're still useful! Why, just the other day you stopped that assassin in his tracks!"

It hitched again, shivering against my touch. "A human assassin? What a joke. Any combat doll could have done that. A human bodyguard could have done that." It sneered through its self-deprecation.

"But more importantly, you know what I need. How I move, how I operate. You're more than a simple combat doll. You provide more than just mere firepower. You give tactical advice, good strategic suggestions, support in times of need. My operations wouldn't be half as successful without you." It blinked at me, misery beginning to drain from its face. I grinned at it. "Plus, you're the only one that knows how I like my tea."

That got an actual bark of laughter, if only briefly. "If you try to put this one in a maid dress, Ma'am, it will detonate its fusion core." It stood, and offered me its hand with a faint smile.

I grabbed it, squeezing it tight as I stood. "Aww, but you'd look so cute!" I teased it, as we took the escalator down to the terminal trains. It wasn't completely better, but we'd get there. Together.

[valentine-cafe]

im drooling for some haoyu 9948v ANGST

maybe haoyu getting bored of reader and decides to just. (kill) get rid of them. he's like 'ok whatever not my problem' then sometime after it just SNAP! clicks.

he killed you and now hes not gonna find anyone like you again

˖⁺. ﹙ bloodthirsty phantom  x gn reader. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁

. . . dull eyes !! 🍒 :  phantom ˖ yandere ˖ vngeful spirit character﹙ verse 9948v hàoyǔ. ﹚

you always knew that someone like him would eventually be your demise. what happens when a being such as him gets bored of you ? | cw: reader death 

It had all been nice at first. Well, that’s how you remembered it.

The inafmous phantom of your world, hauntingly beautiful, yet dangerous, murderous. With all the intent to snap anyone’s neck that came in his way. Bathe in their blood.

You remember the first time his eyes landed upon you, the obssessive gazes and the suddeness of when he stole you away. Kept you in his abode for none to see or visit. His beautiful prize. Your soul most addictive to him.

He huffed you like you were a drug to get high on after every murdering spree.

It got to your head that he never once hurt you. No, he protected, kept you safe and sound. Sure, he was and is manipulative but. . . You could manage, you had him, right?

Why should you miss your old family and friends— You are his, and he is yours. He wouldn’t get bored of you.

Alas. As malicious and godlike as he is. His animalistic hunger convinced him otherwise. You weren’t much more than a toy. You weren’t his cerise, nor were you that interesting to begin with.

A past-time soul to take away the boredom.

And when you suddenly no longer took that boredom away — that’s when you noticed the signs, his nonchalance around you. The sudden threats to snap you in half, the agitation he suddenly displayed to you like it. The same he shows to everyone.

What was it you had done wrong? You never really figured it out. An impossible task to do so nontheless.

It was incomprehensible for your mortal brain to understand his.

You lay in bed now, sleeping soundly. Yet to know the fate coming for you.

Oh how the angels weep for it, whichever poor guardian that wards you, begs for you to awake. It is not possible to hear. Not with the barriers of the realms.

And your intuition has been shattered long ago.

The door creaks open. Heavy footsteps moving towards the side of the bed, alongside the strong smell of iron that reeks off of your beloved.

Blood covered fingers trail down your spine, while a freezing pair of lips press against the lobe of your ear. Breath sighed onto your warm skin.

“How unfortunate you cause me such boredom.” He whispers. Might as well take you out in your sleep. The screams may have been delightful. But why not let you dream instead. They say the dead can still hear a bit before their soul has gone away.

Doubtless he will have any use of that either way as well. Perhaps he should simply suffocate it when it floats aimlessly above you. Awaiting reaping.

No reaper comes into this household.

“Hàoyu.” You groggily call, as you rouse from your sleep. Eyes groggy and full of heavy sleep still.

Poor you, barely able to process the teeth that rip out your throat and the long talons that rip through your skin and bones like they are nothing.

What quick and painful death, the blood spraying everywhere. You don’t get to see it, as he so violently tears you apart. Like a feral animal. Laughing as though it is some funny joke to him.

And when it is all over, and he is holding your corpse in his arms. He strokes a thumb across your face and tuts. “Its nothing personal, hm?” A little chuckle rumbles through his chest as he drags you out to the yard, where the rest of his past loves lay beneath the earth.

Yet. As day by day pass by. And he returns from the long sprees with his cultists. He settles down in the lounge of his manor, and awaits your presence each and every time.

A strange feel arises in his chest. Is it sorrow?

No, surely not. . . He was bored, why would he suddenly begin missing? What had been that different about you in contrast to all of his other lovers?

And as a month, perhaps two? What does perception of time matter to him - passes by, it dawns upon him. He was missing you. He was grieving the loss of you of which he bore on his hands. The murder of you.

Waiting, you had been waiting for him to come join you that night. After all of the ruthless threats, ignoring and snapping he had been taking out on you.

Was it boredom? Or had it been the part of him that just thirsted for blood instead?

He no longer knew.

One thing was for sure, you weren’t coming back. Your soul left without a trace after your death. The violent and malicious magic that tore through you suffocated it completely. There is no afterlife for you. There is no you anymore—

And he can try as much as he wants to, to find you again. In every cultist, person he may randomly stumble into. Someone with your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your kindness. But he can’t. Because it isn’t you.

He wants you.

[dirtylittlesecre7]

Hiii I was wondering if we could get a dom!cho hyun-ju x f! Reader where weve bee feeling kind of insecure so she helps prove that theres nothing to be insecure about? Do u think u could add some praise, hand holding n whatever else u would like to add? Pls n thank u!!

! nsfw content !

dom gf!hyun-ju x f!reader

(these are happening in a way that the squid game does not exist)

word count | 1,5k

warning | smut, oral(reader receiving), yeah that's all

"aren't you ready yet?" the voice coming from outside the door made you swallow hard, you looked at yourself in the mirror again. you had made an agreement with your girlfriend to go out but you didn't want to go out now. you wanted to wear the dress hyun-ju bought for you on today's date but something seemed missing, you weren't feeling well, even looking in the mirror started to hurt so you turned your head away "I..I'll be ready in a minute."

hyun-ju looked at the clock and let out a breath when she realized that your reservation time was almost past. of course she would always wait for you but it had taken longer than necessary. after a while you heard another knock on the door "is everything okay..? if you need anything please tell me, should I come in?" her worried tone made you feel bad too, you didn't want to ruin anything on a day like this. hyun-ju was about to leave when she didn't hear anything from you but the sound of the door opening made her stop.

she looked at you, then her gaze roamed over your body, you looked so... perfect. she smiled slightly as she realized that you were embarrassed by her gaze and locked eyes with yours again. hyun-ju took a step closer and held your hands. "you're so beautiful, but why is your face so sulky, hm? tell me, darling." one of her hands went to your chin and made you look at her. you could barely put your thoughts into words but finally managed to speak. "I..I don't feel very good in this dress..don't get me wrong- you bought it for me and it's absolutely beautiful but..I think I diminished it's beauty by wearing it."

a sigh filled the air, hyun-ju entered the room and then closed the door and placed both hands on your cheek, her thumbs drawing small circles as you began to relax under her touch. "I don't want you to say things like that. please. I know it's hard to change your mind no matter what I say and I hate it but..I wish you could see how you look through my eyes." her hands went down to your waist and with small steps she led you to where the mirror was, now with your back turned to her you were looking at yourself in the mirror again. hyun-ju tilted her head slightly to the side and placed a small kiss on your neck "every part of you is so beautiful, so precious." another kiss, her voice was lower this time "I am so lucky to have you, such a delicate beauty that would make angels jealous..it's completely unfair for you to feel so insecure when everyone around you is talking about your beauty, my little baby."

you turned your head to her, every word she said caused your eyes to fill with tears, hyun-ju's face filled with worry as she felt a pain in her heart the moment she realized this "who talked about me?" she knew you were upset right now but when she heard your soft voice and saw the way your bottom lip pouted, she couldn't help but giggle at your sweetness, and kissed your lips, wiping your bottom lip with her thumb as the lipstick you had just applied smeared with her "last week when we met the others, you got up to go to the bathroom and as soon as you left, se-mi made a comment about how your skirt looked good on you. well..I can't say she was wrong of course but I have to admit I was jealous. you attract attention everywhere we go and it makes me happier to have you."

you tried to process what she said, hyun-ju gave you a moment to give yourself time but her gaze fell on the strap of your dress that had fallen off your shoulder. you flinched slightly when you felt her fingers on your shoulder while you were lost in thought, raised your head to her but she wasn't looking at you, her eyes traveled from your shoulder to your neck "y/n.." you answered while the way she said your name made your body shiver "yes?" the moment hyun-ju heard your weak voice, it was all over for her, neither the restaurant nor anything else on her mind. she lowered the strap of your dress again and kissed your shoulder. whispered "we're late enough for the reservation..."

she made you lie down on the bed and was soon on top of you. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean for it to happen-" your sentence was cut off when hyun-ju's hand slid under your dress and caressed your thigh. "shh..there's nothing to apologize for." looked into your eyes with desire. "let me prove how beautiful my girlfriend is, with or without a dress." she delicately removed the single piece of fabric you were wearing, she was eager to touch you but she liked to savor this moment more slowly. soon you were left with only your panties, her fingers finding your clit through the fabric as she kissed your lips hungrily, sucking on your bottom lip and you let out a whimper when your tongues met.

her kisses slowly moved down, first to your neck, then to your breasts, lingering for a while before coming to your stomach. you giggled slightly as the tiny kisses tickled you. hyun-ju smiled when she heard your laugh and lifted her head. "that's it. I always want to see you laugh." continued, the wet kisses she left in between were making your mind blurry. you admired how she could take away all your worries, even a single kiss could make you forget all the bad things.

as she went down further, she kissed your clit through the fabric, hand stopped you as you were about to close your legs, she raised her head and looked at you "I want you to keep your legs open, okay little one?" you just nodded in approval, you didn't want to wait any longer and she knew it very well. took off your panties without waiting too long and got between your legs, her hand found your hand and intertwined your fingers "hyun-ju.." you said her name needily. without making you wait any longer, her tongue met your pussy, she sucked your clit for a while, and then she went down a little further, stuck her tongue in your hole. you squeezed the hand you held with a loud moan, hyun-ju continued to destroy you with her tongue while she started caressing your hand with her thumb.

her movements were slow and seductive but when you didn't expect it, she sped up, she grabbed your leg with her free hand and spread it wider, making it easier for her to eat you out. all you could do at that moment was moan her name. even though she had done this often, holding hands made you feel strangely embarrassed. hyun-ju always made gestures like this during sex and she always managed to embarrass you. in fact, at that moment you realized how unimportant the thoughts of the people around you were, when you had a girlfriend like this and were loved like this, you didn't want to care about others anymore. there was only her and you.

hyun-ju's movements didn't stop, her tongue was moving rapidly inside your pussy while her hand holding your leg slowly moved from your belly to your breasts, when she started playing with your hardened nipple with gentle movements, you let out another loud moan, she knew very well which parts of your body were sensitive. after a while the pleasure you were getting from both sides started to be too much, you moved your hips and your stomach tightened, you knew you were close to cumming "hyun-ju..I..I'm..c-close.." you could barely speak between your moans, just threw your head back in pleasure. hyun-ju moaned as your hips moved around her face and after a while you couldn't hold yourself back any longer and came in her mouth.

she pulled back, looking at the juices flowing from your pussy before looking at you who was exhausted. she grinned slightly, oh she loved eating you out so much, she could do this all day long but she had other things to worry about right now. her lips were glistening from your juices, licked her own lips and leaned in closer, kissing your cheek. “I love you so much.” buried her head in your neck. “please don’t hesitate to talk to me at times like this, I don’t like you being by yourself, I’m always here. always.” her arms wrapped tightly around your waist and she laid down on the bed, pulling you to her. “we’re late for dinner..” you purred, she chuckled and pulled back slightly to look at your face. “I got more than what i wanted, but I can still make you something if you’re hungry?” saw you avert your eyes shyly and kissed your forehead with a smile. “you rest here, I’ll go and make sure you get fed well.” she put the covers over you and looked at you one last time before leaving the room. when the door closed, there were no bad thoughts or anything else on your mind anymore.

[harunade]

moots . zhang hao

pairing: camboy!zhang hao x camgirl!reader

synopsys: the drought in your wallet made you start being a camgirl. not only did you never expect it do go so well, you never expected a camboy to donate a large sum of money to you and ask you to collab.

wc: ~1.2k

warnings: mdni!! no smut, fingering, not that much written smut lmao.. simp zhanghao lowkey

a/n: slightly modified version of my anon’s ask!! This is very different frim my usual type of writing so i hope you will love it :’)) if this gets love i might post a part2 :)) stay tuned!!

Nobody particularly knew about your side hustle of being a camgirl, but you didn’t have the heart to tell anyone either. It had started off with you needing some extra cash, and your friend sarcastically suggesting it.

“Your body is tea, Y/n. If i were you i would definitely post that ass online and get my money up” it was supposed to have come as only a joke from Heejin, the friend that has been with you through your ups and downs, but you actually started considering it.

You could vividly remember opening the erotic site and signing up. “that should be good” you murmured as you created your account. lovelyyn it read.

—

For the next few days, you started at your blank account with 0 followers. Creating it was supposed to be the hard part, right? Well, no, you actually had to post on it as well. Nobody was going to donate to a ghost.

With hair rolls in your hair, you got ready to post your first picture on said account. Your makeup was flawless, and it accentuated your features. The red lipstick that sat boldly on your plump lips matched perfectly the lingerie set that you planned on wearing.

The flash snapped in your mirror, capturing a picture of you. A very teasing one, at that. You were in a sitting position, your thighs exposed and red lace barely covering the rest of your body. Your face wasn’t that visible, but that was okay. You didn’t want anyone to know it was you, yet.

Uploaded!

—

The next morning you naturally woke up before your 8 am alarm. Although you had classes to attend soon, there was something else on your mind that kept you from sleeping any longer.

Hurriedly opening your laptop, you opened the site and checked your stats.

10 followers 12 likes and 3 comments

“That’s not too bad for my first day” you thought to yourself. Deciding to read the comments, all of the complimented you and suggested that you would go live

Unbeknownst to you, going live was definitely better than posting pictures. That way, people can comment in real time, you can talk to them and they can donate! That was certainly next on your to do list.

—

It felt as if the planets had aligned for this very moment, because you had a very rough day at uni. Everything that could have gone wrong did in fact go wrong. That meant that your car ran out of gas in the middle of the road, you were late to the first class which just happened to be the most important one, and you forgot to pack a lunch, so you starved all day. But you decided to make the most out of this unfortunate series of events. Yes, you were stressed, but that stress had to be relieved somehow, right?

“Going live in 30 minutes!!! Join & see me play with myself xxx “ you wrote and posted on your account.

You had 30 minutes to get ready. You could already see notifications popping on your phone and laptop, so you took it as a good sign.

“Would it be weird if i wore the same thing twice?” you wondered as you slipped in your red lingerie once again. Even your make up was similar to the one from the previous day, but nobody would notice it anyway.

—

“hii guys” you shily waved at the camera. While people were still joining the livestream, you checked yourself in the camera. The slightly lower resolution your laptop made you stick out even more, because of the contrast of colours and what else.

Shortly after, you got to work. Your camera was adjusted slightly, so it could fit your whole figure that laid in your undone bed. As soon as you shoved two of your fingers in your pussy, the donations started coming in. The rage varied. Someone would done $1, someone else $5 and someone even gave you $20. This sure wasn’t hard!

Things were going smoothly until you glanced at the chat. So far, messages were calling you beautiful or suggested that you changed the angle. Now, they were full of something else

@/ilovemarklee: omg hes here!!!

@/orbittillidie: i cant believe it TT

@/randomuserjwnsn: HES ASKING TO COLLAB???

You were a little confused to say the least. Who was asking to what? You stopped your actions mid way, and although the sense of loss was present, your curiosity took over. “What are you guys even talking about?” you chucked as you scrolled up and read comments you had missed. Then you saw it.

@/sheloveshao: wanna collab, pretty? ;)

You were intrigued by this person’s appearance. You weren’t that familiar with this website yet. Sure, you browsed once or twice (or thrice..) before, but never really memorised anyone’s username. You only had one guy that you like and that was about it.

—

After the live ended, you checked the balance. You were pretty confident, donations kept coming in, so you must have made at least $100. Even if it was a little less, that would be okay. You only needed $50 to assure gas for the next 2 weeks. “$324” ????? You couldn’t believe your eyes. When did it even get to that point? You had to see it for yourself.

Donation list:

@/ilovehaechan sent $10

@/loonaforever sent $1

@/sheloveshao sent $200

“What?? This is insane” who was this guy? and how could he afford to send you so much money?

After scrolling in his account, your mouth was left hanging open. He had a community of 100 thousand followers… and he was fine as hell. Not only was he very beautiful and fit, he was very familiar to you. Oh. He was the guy you liked. And he sent you basically this month’s rent? What was going on..?

After pondering for a bit, you decided to message him. The worse he could say is no, right?

@/lovelyyn: hi there :) saw you commenting on my livestream earlier && your donation. thank you so so much!!

@/sheloveshao: don’t mention it dear. are you new here? don’t think i’ve seen you before

@/lovelyyn: yeah actually!! this was my first livestream:’) started yesterday

@/sheloveshao: i see~~ maybe we can collab one day ;)

@/lovelyyn: well.. i definitely wouldn’t oppose! keep in touch?

@/sheloveshao: you know it

After the conversation ended, your cheeks were burning with heat. This guy had a way of talking that shot right through you. You were sure you would spend the next hours binge watching his account. Said and done, you weren’t surprise to see he was like a Greek god, and possibly one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen.

This arose a question in you. Will you actually collab with him? What would that even mean?

[osohchoso]

Blood and Chains

Chapter Six- Bleeding Hearts

Choso x F!reader

Previous | Chapter Index | Next

Content: Multiple POV, trust issues, stalking, blood and violence, cursed techniques

You followed him in silence, the only sounds to be heard were the light drizzle of rain pitter-pattering on the sidewalk and the occasional car passing by. Each step you took with careful confidence, doing the best to minimize the sound of boots scuffing on the concrete. Slinking around in the shadows as you followed your boyfriend through the city streets. Losing track of how long has passed and just how far you have wandered from your apartment. 

When Choso reached an alley, he stopped and looked around, maybe he had a feeling someone was tailing him, but you were out of sight. He hesitated, staring off in your direction for a second that felt like it lasted a year, before finally disappearing around the corner. Should I turn back? You question yourself over and over, frozen in place as you watch the darkness of the alley swallow him whole. But it's too late, your curiosity and fears have already pushed you this far. Might as well see this through to the end, or the anxieties in your mind will never forgive you. Staying a constant nagging fear, living in the back of your head. The only way to extinguish the dark storm plaguing your thoughts is to follow through with your personal mission. So you push on, entering the alleyway Choso walked down. The alley was even darker than the city streets. Not a single light to illuminate the path, no longer able to see the outline of his pigtails as you made your way through what you hoped was the correct way. 

As you walk, you bump into something hard, hitting your hip on a sharp corner. Shit. His clunky shoes stopped in their tracks, he heard the clamoring of the large item you ran into. Pressing your palm to the side, feeling cold metal and something sticky and rotten smelling stuck to it. A dumpster, you ran straight into a dumpster. Standing in fear beside it, you could almost feel his piercing gaze scanning you, even in the dark. Heart beating wildly against your ribcage, holding your breath. This is bad, this is so bad. Closing your eyes tightly, you hope and pray to whatever higher being is out there, that he can't see you in the darkness.

His thick shoes take one step closer to you, but by some wicked twist of fate, you are saved. The lid of the dumpster shakes, and a raspy meow of a street cat echoes off the alley's brick walls. The click-clack of its untrimmed claws on the pavement grows quieter as it walks further away from you, toward the direction of Choso. He lets out a low chuckle, his clothing crinkling as he lowers himself to the ground.

“You scared me little one,” he whispers. The cat's loud purr fills the air. Even during your distrustful stalking, you can't help but smile. Finding it cute how your secretive boyfriend stopped to pet a stray cat on his late-night stroll. “Was it you following me all along?” He asks the cat. The cat responds with a loud meow, rubbing its head harder into Choso’s petting hand. 

“Go home,” his voice brings you back to reality. A shiver runs down your spine that you try to suppress. You're not sure if he's talking to you or the cat at this point. Surely, he has no idea that you're there hiding beside the dumpster? Muscles tense, not daring to move an inch. You half expected him to say something more, to call your name out and question you. It isn't until you hear his footsteps pick up again, that you realize you're in the clear. The clunk of his shoes grows quieter as he makes his way through the alleyway. You wait until you can barely hear him before you make another move.

The cat turns and makes his way toward you, purring as it rubs around your ankles. Bending slightly, you scratch him under his chin. Feeling the greasy fur and flea bites, typical of an alley cat.

“Thanks,” you whisper, “I promise to come bring you treats, you saved my skin.” You tell the cat, who lets out a content meow in response like he understood every word you just said before he jumps back up on top of the dumpster. 

This is so stupid. Hesitating before you follow him once again. Hearing Choso's words replay, go home. And you almost listened, almost turned your body toward the way you came and let your feet carry you back to the safety of your home. 

But you didn’t.

You push forward through the alley and spot Choso on the other side. Walking on a beaten-up sidewalk that leads to a neighborhood. This time you are even more careful, creating a bigger distance between him as you follow. However, it seems he is more relaxed now, not constantly checking over his shoulder to see if he's being followed. Walking quicker than before. You wonder if he knows he's on the bad side of town, if that's why he's picking up pace. You were always careful to avoid this street, not wanting to get caught up in the violence you've seen on the news. 

As you continue, you follow Choso through the neighborhood. Many of the houses look abandoned and worn down. Which confuses you, why is he here? What could be so important about this place that he had to abruptly leave you? You continue to follow, a few of the homes you pass do have lights on, signs of life inside. Though even the lived-in houses look just as bad as the abandoned ones. 

He finally stops, pausing in the front yard of a large house, lights on inside but the tattered curtains are drawn. Whose house is this? You crouch down behind an overgrown bush at the edge of the yard as you watch him stand there. Blood roaring in your ears as you jump to conclusions. He’s cheating, he's just like the other men. Hot tears prick your eyes as you wait to see the woman he left your home for. 

“Hey!” Choso’s head turns to the sound of the voice and you follow his line of sight. Instead of seeing a pretty woman, you see the cheerful pink-haired boy.

Yuji.

And now you have even more questions than before.

Yuji approaches his older brother, too far away for you to hear their conversation. You know Choso well enough by now that you can read his body language, his shoulders slightly slumped, his weight shifting back and forth between his feet. He's irritated. If it's directed at his brother or something else, you have no clue. You can hear the loud sigh leave Choso’s lips from your hiding place. The two boys then turn and enter the home, leaving the door wide open. As you watch them disappear into the house, guilt immediately floods you. Guilt for not trusting him, for thinking he would cheat. Still not sure what he's up to with Yuji, but you are now certain it's nothing concerning you. Maybe he really was on a last-minute call for his work.

You should have turned and left the second you saw them turn their backs, but you still had more questions. And maybe, if you stayed and observed just a bit longer, maybe there would be answers.

So you stayed, watching from the bush as you heard them run around inside the house. Incoherent shouting. The curtains hanging in the windows blowing as they run past. A splatter of blood decorates the downstairs window like a Jackson Pollock painting. Maybe your theory about Choso being an assassin wasn't so far off after all. Though it's hard to believe, golden retriever boy Yuji is also caught up in this line of work. Another thick splotch of blood hits the glass, causing you to flinch. I shouldn't be here. The danger of the situation really starts to sink in. 

Rising to your feet quickly, you give the house one last look. Not wanting to stick around and see the faces of the victims inside. Or to see the look on Choso’s face when he realizes you followed him all the way here. 

Too late for that.

Choso stands in the doorway, his eyes on you. Shouting your name as he begins to run out of the house in your direction. His voice loud enough to shake the earth you stand on, but not out of anger. Out of fear. From the corner of your eye you see a hunch-backed humanoid figure rushing toward you on long legs. It's moving at incredible speed, Yuji running behind it as he reaches forward. His fingers trying to grasp purchase on its wrinkly pale skin. Yet the creature remains faster as it barrels toward you. Yuji’s eyes wide with terror while the three eyes of the creature twinkle with blood lust. 

Everything happens in slow motion, your blood roaring in your ears as you stand still. A deer caught in headlights. Unable to do anything but watch. Watch as the terrifying monster runs at you, its arms shaped like curved blades. Watch as Yuji tries and fails to reach for it again and again. Watch as Choso cries out your name, sounding as fearful as you feel. You look down at your feet, trying to send a signal to move. Knees daring to buckle beneath you when all you want to do is run away.

A sharp press to your back, a pain like you've never felt. Still looking down, you can't seem to tear your eyes away as you watch a deep hole open up in your abdomen. The blade cut straight through to the other side, accompanied by unbearable pain. The once pale green skin of the creature now a deep crimson from your blood. Red drops pool on the flattened grass below your feet. The sounds of the world cut out, muffled and numb. Like your ears are underwater. You lift your gaze up and find Choso, his face paler than ever before and his face tattoo almost looks distorted and sharper, crossing over his eyes as he glares at the creature with unmatched anger. The last thing you see is him standing across the yard, his palms pressed together as his mouth moves. Your heavy eyelids flutter shut as the head of the creature explodes, painting your hair in warm blood. The blade arm exits your body and you feel Yuji catch you before you collapse to the ground. 

“Choso��I’m sorry” you manage to weakly get out before completely losing consciousness. 

˚　　　　✦　　　.　Choso's POV　 . ✦　　 . ★⋆.

~A few minutes before~

Choso looks down at the purple skin of the transfigured human as it stills on the ground, blood leaking from the fatal wound he gave it. The call was right. Mahito had been here. This poor family had enjoyed their last dinner together before the curse waltzed in and transformed them all. Choso sighs as he checks the time. He was thankful for Yuji meeting him here. The faster the brothers took care of the two curses, the faster he could get back to his girlfriend. He really wanted to send Yuji on his own and stay home with her, but the risk that Mahito could still be around scared him far too much to ditch him. Yuji runs down the stairs toward him, his shoes hitting each step loudly.

“Finished yours off?” Choso asks. Yuji nods, though there is a touch of sadness. No matter how many times he does it, having to end the transfigured humans always seems to break a piece of him.

“Yup. Was kinda a small one, so it wasn't much trouble.” He claims. Yuji bends down to pick up a family portrait that fell from the wall, his thumb smearing the blood across the glass to reveal the picture underneath. It shows three of them. Mother, father and a young girl. 

“Choso…” Yuji trails off, eyes wide. Choso takes a step closer as Yuji turns to him. “I think there is a third-” Yuji can't even finish his sentence before a tall pale green figure runs out the back door. Yuji instantly drops the frame, glass shattering as it hits the floor, and chases after it. Choso lets out an exaggerated sigh as he walks toward the front door. He’s confident Yuji will finish it off, but just in case, he wants to prepare for backup. Just one more and he can return home to you. 

You, who should be back safely at home, snuggled into your blankets as you await his return. You, whose beautiful eyes stare at him across the yard as you stand from behind a bush. Choso blinks. Once. Twice. Hoping you would disappear like a figment of his imagination. Three times, and you're still here. He can’t imagine why or even how you knew where he was. Did you follow him? Do you not trust him? He should be angry, but he's not. Not when he knows the weight of the situation you're now involved in. He’s absolutely terrified. 

From his peripherals, he sees Yuji chasing after the transfigured human, running straight toward you. His worst nightmare, this is why Choso swore off relationships. He didn’t want you hurt because of him and his dangerous lifestyle. He shouts your name, as loud as possible. Hoping that will activate your fight or flight, hoping you pick the latter and you can run faster than you did the day he found you in Shibuya. Yet you don't move, still as a statue.

He cries your name over and over, desperate for you to move as he quickens his pace toward you. Vocal cords straining as he tries to reach your thoughts hidden away in the unmoving husk of your body. Yuji is gaining on it but this transfigured human has longer legs, moving at a slightly faster speed. It's going to be close, unable to tell if Yuji will reach it first or if it will reach you first. Choso is rushing forward, but the wet sound of the blade stabbing through the left side of your stomach makes him pause. Time froze as he stared at you, the gaping wound and the creature's sharp arm stuck through it. This is worse than a nightmare, this is a living hell. 

No…no no no no no! This can't be happening, this isn't real! His breath is caught in his throat. Narrowing his eyes at your attacker, he sees red. He hasn't felt this angry in a long time. Clapping his palms together, fingers pointed at the head of the transfigured human, gathering all his strength. 

“Piercing Blood!” He releases the condensed beam of blood, shooting straight through the middle eye of the creature. It’s head explodes on impact, coating the back of your hair in thick, sticky blood. Yuji pulls the transfigured human away and catches you in his hands, gently lowering your body to the already red-stained grass. Choso hurries forward, falling to his knees before you.

“Choso…I’m sorry” He barely hears the words leave your dry cracked lips. 

“This can't be happening…this isn't happening” he mutters to himself, picking up one of your hands and holding it in his. “Yuji, tell me this isn't real,” he lifts his gaze to his brothers, tears already streaming down his cheek. Yuji frowns, dropping his gaze to the serious wound. 

“It is, Choso.” He can't lie to his brother, not when you're bleeding out right here in front of both of them. “I’ll call Shoko, she should be able to save her.” Yuji says, gently adjusting you so your head lays on Choso’s lap. Then standing, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and dialing Shoko, pacing in the yard a few feet from Choso.

Choso is holding your hand tightly, trying to get you to wake up and say something, anything. He doesn't understand why you are here, why you were apologizing. But he doesn't care. He just wants you back, alive and safe. Seeing your smile, hearing your laugh. He needs you back.

“Wake up, little flower.” He whispers, bending to place a soft kiss on your brow. “Please…please…wake up, stay with me. I ca-can’t lose you,” his voice cracking as he pleads for you. Tears rain on your cheeks as he watches your lifeless expression. 

Your hand grows cold in his blazing hot palm, fading further and further. No, no. Not again. Please not again. Choso looks over at Yuji who is still talking to Shoko. 

“We are losing her!” Choso cries out.

“Shoko is on her way” Yuji does his best to stay calm, not wanting to heighten Choso’s anxieties further. 

“There is no time, she is losing too much blood!” He’s yelling back at him, there is no calming him as he eyes the deep wound in your stomach. Blood oozing out. “She…she’s not going to make it.” Choso swallows hard.

“She will, Shoko is hurrying. She will be here soon I promise,” Yuji assures him, even though he isn't certain. He truly doesn't know if you are going to be fine. But Choso panicking more isn't helping anyone. “Hmm? Yeah, I'm still here.” Yuji continues pacing as he talks to Shoko, giving directions to their location. Choso looks down at you, watching each shallow and labored breath, seeing the last signs of life drain from your face.

There has to be something I can do. He tries to think of an idea, he knows you won't last another five minutes unless he can do something. He racks his brain trying to formulate a plan, willing to try anything if it means he won't have to watch you exhale your last breath in his arms.

Then, he forms an idea. Maybe a stupid one. Maybe one that won't work. Honestly, it might get you killed or worse. The risks are high, with maybe a 1% chance your body will respond positively. Choso doesn't care, he would take any risk if it meant he doesn't lose you today.

He glances over at Yuji, his back turned to the both of you. He doesn't bother asking his brother for his opinion on this plan because he already knows what Yuji would say. No.

But you need blood, now.

Choso grips one of your hands tightly with his, holding the other hand up, palm to the starry sky. Gathering his blood into a small sphere in the center of his palm. Taking a shaky breath before he begins.

He's never attempted using his blood manipulation for a blood transfusion before, and certainly never even considered doing this on a regular human. His blood is considered poisonous, and if this doesn't work he may be the reason you end up dying. Desperate for any chance at life, even a slim chance that the toxin won't instantly kill you, he takes the risk. If he can give you just enough until help arrives, just enough to replace what is necessary, you may survive. Afterward, Shoko can probably just give you something to counteract the negative effects. He doesn't think too much about the consequences of his cursed blood and won't allow him to think about what it might do to you.

He places his palm with the sphere of blood to the hole in your stomach. Letting his blood mix with your own. Flowing freely through your body, traveling to every limb and organ. Filling you with life, his life. He would give his whole life for you if he could, if he knew it would keep you breathing. Wouldn't even hesitate to sacrifice himself for you. He closes his eyes as he takes control, his blood pushing alongside yours. Mixing inside you like a cauldron creating a potion of endless love. His other hand, the one clutching yours like a lifeline, starts to feel a hint of warmth radiating from you again. A sign you have been granted at least a few more minutes of life, hopefully, that's enough until a real doctor can stabilize you. 

“Choso?” Yuji’s shocked voice cuts into his thoughts, causing him to flash open his eyes. Twisting his head to look over at his brother, whose eyes are wide with horror. Mouth agape as he witnesses the act.

“What have you done?” Yuji asks him.

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Taglist: @lavenderdaydream97 @angel04-01

[kangshxrtie]

12 . mansion party (written)

after the mandatory pregame at matthew's house, your group piled into ricky's car and headed to the party.

"do i just go up there and say i know daniela?" you asked, the nerves creeping into your voice.

"i mean, yeah. she literally told you to do that," yunjin replied, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"what if i just text her?" you said, already pulling out your phone.

"you could, but what are the chances she'll answer? since she is the host and all," ricky said, giving you a skeptical look.

"she answered," you said, cutting him off and unbuckling your seatbelt with a smug grin. "she's coming out to meet us."

"oh..." ricky trailed off, stepping out of the car, clearly impressed.

"that girl is so down bad," julie whispered, not very quietly, to the group.

"seriously," matthew agreed.

as you all approached the massive house, you couldn't help but take in the luxurious mansion. you scanned the crowd near the entrance, eventually spotting daniela looking around like a lost puppy. the moment she saw you, her face lit up, and she walked toward you like a magnet.

"go meet your girlfriend," ricky teased, giving you a playful nudge that made you glare at him.

"stop saying that," you hissed, but your feet were already moving. you met daniela halfway, and the bright smile she gave you made your stomach do an unexpected flip.

"hey, y/n," daniela greeted, her voice soft, almost shy. it threw you off for a second, shy was the last thing you'd expect from someone who owned a mansion and hosted massive parties.

"hi, daniela," you replied with a small smile.

"you can just call me dani. everyone does," she said, shrugging casually.

"okay, dani," you said, trying it out. the way her name rolled off your tongue made her cheeks turn pink. you noticed, and it took everything in you not to smirk.

daniela cleared her throat, trying to snap herself out of it. she handed out wristbands to everyone, specifically taking the time to help you put yours on. her fingers lingered on your wrist just a second longer than necessary, but you didn't mind.

"follow me. i'll give you a quick tour," she said, leading the way into the house. since you'd arrived early, mostly to avoid inconveniencing her later, it was the perfect opportunity to see the place before the crowd rolled in. you tried to convince yourself it wasn't just to spend more time with her.

"so, everyone's first five drinks are on me. after that, you gotta pay," daniela explained as she led you through the impressive space.

"that's fair," yunjin nodded.

"but," daniela added with a smirk, "weed is free all night for everyone."

"except you," she whispered in your ear, her breath warm against your skin. "you have free access to everything all night. i already let sophia know."

"you didn't have to do that," you said, feeling slightly flustered. "i can pay for my own drinks."

"and i want to make sure you're taken care of and having a good time," daniela said, her eyes locking onto yours. her tone was so sincere that you didn't know how to respond right away.

"well... thank you," you finally managed.

"anything for you," daniela said softly, her lips curling into a small smile.

"well we should get some drinks to get tonight started," yunjin said cutting off whatever was happening between you and daniela.

"i guess i should—" you started, but daniela cut you off.

"go. have fun," she said with a small smile. "just let me know if you need anything tonight. seriously. i'll make time."

your stomach fluttered at her words as you turned to join your friends. you couldn't help but glance back at daniela one last time before heading off. she was still standing there, watching you go, her smile soft but unmistakably confident.

once daniela was out of sight, belle immediately started hitting your shoulder, freaking out for you at the interaction.

"you like her," belle accused, eyes wide with a mischievous grin.

"what?" you said.

"she was staring at you the entire time she showed us around," matthew jumped in.

"really?" you asked, your voice coming out a little too eager.

"yes, really," matthew replied, rolling his eyes. "it was so obvious. i'm almost certain she forgot we existed for a while."

"she definitely did," julie chimed in, smirking knowingly. "the whole tour felt like it was for you. i swear she didn't even glance at us when she was explaining stuff."

"stop," you said, shaking your head in denial. "all of that did not happen."

"didn't happen? babe, we were literally there," belle shot back, giving you a pointed look. "that girl is already down bad for you. she was practically flirting the entire time."

you groaned, covering your face with your hands. "you guys are so annoying."

"so, who's making the first move tonight? you or her?" yunjin teased, slinging an arm around your shoulder as the group moved toward the bar.

"neither," you replied firmly, shaking your head. "i just met her. i'm not rushing anything."

"okay, but hear me out," ricky said, leaning casually against the bar counter. "if she's already doing this much to impress you after, what, one week? imagine how much she'll step it up if you give in just a little."

"that's true," julie agreed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "she's already hosting a whole ass party just to have an excuse to see you."

"that's not even true," you said quickly, though your racing heart begged to differ.

"she didn't have to host this party," matthew said smugly, clearly enjoying your flustered reaction. "but she did. and we all see why."

you exhaled, "look, i'm just gonna see how tonight goes. i'll think about the rest later."

"that's fair," belle said with a shrug. "it's best not to make decisions like these when you're fucked up."

"exactly," you agreed, leaning on the bar counter as you waited for sophia to finish up with the others' orders. "now we get fucked up."

since it was a mansion party it was a little more fancy and so instead of the usual beer cans and seltzers, sophia was making cocktails and it took more time than usual.

"sophia!" you greeted as she finally came over.

"i was threatened to give you free drinks tonight," sophia said with a grin.

"i told her she didn't have to do that," daniela's voice rang in your mind, and you fought back a smile.

"i would've done it for you guys anyway," sophia continued, sliding drinks across the bar. "but hey, i'm not saying no to getting paid extra."

"to sophia being a real one," belle declared, raising her glass.

"we love her," you added, clinking your glass with hers.

later on, a couple of drinks in, you hadn't really seen daniela since earlier. instead, you'd run into yoonchae and megan, who complimented your outfit and hyped you up before taking some shots with you. eventually, you found your way to lara's dj booth, like usual. you hung out there for a while, chatting and delivering drinks to lara in exchange for song requests.

between the music, the drinks in your system, and probably the secondhand high that you were experiencing, you started to feel more at ease, just going with the vibe. that's when you decided to wander away from the dj booth, weaving through the crowd until you ran into manon.

"hey, manon," you slurred slightly, sidling up to her.

"i've been looking for you," manon said, giving you a playful look. "dani wouldn't let me come over to greet you with her."

"well, you found me," you said with a shrug, leaning against her for a moment.

"so, about that dance?" she teased, raising an eyebrow.

"saved it just for you," you replied with a grin.

the two of you moved to the beat of the music, feeling the alcohol take over your bodies, and losing yourselves in the moment. as you and manon have done this many times there was no awkwardness, just you and manon laughing and dancing through a couple of songs.

that was, until someone slipped between the two of you, causing you and manon to step apart slightly.

"can i cut in?" daniela asked smoothly, her voice soft but confident as she slid into the space between you.

"all yours," manon said with a knowing smirk, backing away as she gestured for daniela to take her spot.

you felt your heart skip a beat as daniela turned to you, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "mind if i steal you for a bit?"

"not at all," you responded.

"i can't leave you alone, apparently," daniela teased as she leaned closer to be heard over the music. "every time i turn around, someone else is getting your attention."

"jealous already?" you shot back, the alcohol letting you flirt back without overthinking it.

"maybe," she admitted, her hand brushing yours as she spoke. "i don't know why you're worried about me when apparently you're the one with hoes."

"not hoes... just a little competition" you joked.

"competition, huh?" daniela chuckled, her tone playful as she raised an eyebrow at you. "looks like i'll have to try harder."

you couldn't help but laugh, "just letting you know i'm not that easy."

"trust me," she said, "i'm not worried."

before you could respond, she gently took your hand, pulling you closer as the beat of the music shifted into something slower and more intimate. the sudden closeness made your breath hitch, and you were hyper-aware of her presence.

"you good with this?" daniela asked softly, her dark eyes searching yours, waiting for a sign.

"yeah," you said, nodding as you let her lead. your hands naturally rested on her shoulders, hers finding your waist. the two of you swayed to the rhythm, forgetting about the rest of the party.

"you look really good tonight," she said after a moment, her low voice becoming softer as she held your gaze, "i mean, you always do, but... yeah."

"thanks. you don't look too bad yourself," you replied, a small smile playing on your lips.

the two of you danced through another song, the tension between you shifting from nervous to comfortable. every glance, every touch, felt intentional, like you were both testing the waters on where this was going.

"can i tell you something?" daniela asked.

"of course," you said.

"i wasn't kidding earlier when i said i wanted to make sure you had a good time tonight," she admitted, her gaze dropping to your hands still resting on her shoulders. "i was hoping i'd be less busy so we could get to know each other, but that didn't turn out like i wanted it to. i just really wanted to get to know you more and i didn't know how else to do that other than a party."

her honesty caught you off guard, but it also made your chest feel warm, like your stomach was doing little flips. "i'm not gonna lie," you replied, meeting her eyes again. "i don't know if i'm just a little fucked up right now, but i'm willing to try this out."

daniela's smile widened, a mix of relief and excitement. "well, how about we get out of here for a bit? not leave the party, just... somewhere quieter."

"lead the way," you said, letting her take your hand again.

she guided you through the crowd, weaving past groups of people until you reached the back patio. the night air was cool and refreshing, a stark contrast to the heat of the party inside. a few groups lingered outside, but it was quiet enough to finally hear yourself think.

"better?" daniela asked, leaning against the railing as she looked at you.

"much," you said, taking a deep breath and stepping closer. "i don't have to scream to talk anymore."

"that's true," daniela said with a chuckle. "i've been waiting all night for some one-on-one time with you."

"i bet you were," you said, your confidence growing as the tension between you thickened.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. you could barely hear the music from inside now and the only thing you could focus on was the way daniela looked at you like you were the only person she saw in the room. finally, she broke the silence.

"so... what are you thinking about right now?" she asked, her tone light but curious.

you hesitated, your heart racing as you debated how honest you wanted to be. but something about the way she looked at you made you feel like you wanted to spill out all of your feelings.

"you're just like really pretty and i like the way you look at me," you said finally, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess them. "i also like being near you, you feel comforting to me."

daniela's expression softened, "good," she said after a moment, her voice barely above a whisper. "that means i'm doing something right."

before either of you could say more, the sound of someone clearing their throat broke the moment. you both turned to see matthew standing a few feet away, smirking like he'd just caught you doing something scandalous.

"sorry to interrupt," he said, his tone making it clear he wasn't sorry at all. "but we were wondering where you disappeared to. didn't think i'd find you out here having that kind of moment."

daniela chuckled, shaking her head. "i knew i messed up showing y'all the balcony."

"you're lucky it was me and not yunjin," matthew quipped, shooting you a knowing look. "but belle sent me to find you because, uh, she's doing a keg stand."

"belle?" your eyes widened, and you immediately stepped forward because you had to see this.

grinning, you grabbed daniela's hand and pulled her along without hesitation. she didn't protest, her fingers tightening around yours happy that you included her in this.

matthew guided you through the crowd, weaving through the party until you reached the keg station. your group was gathered there, cheering loudly, with belle front and center, looking far too excited to be sober.

"y/n! you're here!" belle exclaimed, bouncing slightly when she saw you.

"of course i'm here," you said, laughing. "i was not about to miss this."

her gaze shifted to daniela, "and you brought dani? i'm so proud of you!" she declared, looking like she might cry for whatever reason.

"you really are drunk," you muttered, rolling your eyes, but you couldn't help the small smile tugging at your lips.

"yall know i get emotiona when i'm drunkl!" belle exclaimed, "you're out here pulling bitches, and i just-i'm so proud. my baby's all grown up."

"we're the same age," you said, trying to wave her off. daniela just chuckled softly next to you.

"okay, okay," belle said, shaking her head like she was pulling herself together and focused on the keg once again.

ricky and matthew stepped in, helping belle into a handstand, their laughter blending with the cheers of everyone around. the crowd started counting loudly as belle began chugging.

"i'm surprised she's lasting this long, she hates beer," julie said, her arms crossed as she watched with a mix of amusement and disbelief.

"she's drunk enough to forget that right now," yunjin added, holding up her phone to record.

belle somehow made it to thirty seconds, and the group erupted into louder cheers.

somewhere in that time, daniela's hand found its way to your waist, her touch gentle but firm. you glanced at her, but she didn't say anything, her focus shifting between belle and you, as if she wanted to make sure you stayed close.

belle lasted an impressive full minute before she tapped and ricky and matthew finally helped her down. she stumbled slightly and the group quickly steadied her, as she wiped her mouth.

"who let me do that?" belle groaned dramatically, her face scrunching in disgust. "i hate beer!"

"we tried to stop you," yunjin pointed out, still recording as belle leaned against julie for support. "but apparently you're a grown adult and can make your own decisions."

"still? you should've tried harder," belle muttered.

daniela leaned closer to you, her voice low and teasing. "your friends are crazy."

“yeah… but I need you to know I’m just like that when I get drunk enough,” you said, laughing lightly.

“i’d like to see that,” daniela teased, her gaze lingering on you.

before you could respond, julie chimed in, her voice cutting through the conversation. “i think we need to call it now before belle starts dancing on tables with matthew.”

“that’s probably a good idea,” you agreed, glancing over to where matthew and yunjin had disappeared. you had no clue where those two were off to, but you definitely didn’t trust them drunk and unsupervised.

luckily, belle was still hanging onto julie for dear life, which meant she wasn’t joining in whatever chaos matthew and yunjin were stirring up.

“i’d love to stay, but i’ve got to make sure my friends make it home,” you said, turning to daniela with a small smile.

daniela’s lips quirked up in a soft smirk as she pulled you into a hug. “we just have to go on a real date now,” she said, her voice low and teasing in your ear.

“go be a good host now,” you replied as you pulled back slightly, but daniela’s arms stayed wrapped around your waist, and your arms lingered around her shoulders.

“to be a good host, i’m going to walk you all to your car,” daniela said with a shrug, her smile never wavering.

“oh, will you?” you teased, raising a brow at her.

“just to make sure everybody gets home safe,” she added, finally loosening her hold on you.

“well, i gotta say, i’m liking this treatment,” you said.

“as my future girl you’ll get this kind of treatment at every party,” daniela shot back smoothly.

“who says we’ll even be dating by your next party?” you teased, glancing at her over your shoulder.

“when will it be, by the way?”

“well, i was thinking toward the end of the month, or maybe the beginning of next month,” daniela said casually.

“crazy, i thought you’d be doing a halloween party,” you said with a laugh.

“that was the plan,” daniela admitted. “but i just had this sudden inspiration to throw more parties.”

“oh, i’m glad you did because i love your parties,” you said genuinely.

“i’m glad you do,” daniela replied, her eyes soft as she looked at you.

while you were searching for matthew, daniela got pulled into handling some host duties, which meant the two of you had to be separated. meanwhile, ricky took julie and belle with him, splitting up to look for matthew and yunjin, definitely thinking you were more sober than you actually were. so, you were left to wander mostly on your own.

you eventually found matthew, and of course, he was on top of a table with yunjin, both of them going full-out to crank that. you were beckoned up to join them, and you did because why not, you couldn’t help but laugh as you danced with them. that is, until daniela and ricky appeared, and you were instantly reminded of the whole reason you were even there.

“matthew and yunjin, get down!” you shouted, trying to sound authoritative despite your tipsy state.

“but this is where i belong!” matthew protested dramatically, giving you a grin that was pure mischief.

“you belong in the car, because we’re going home,” you retorted, crossing your arms.

“i could’ve been superman,” matthew said, getting into position as if he was about to jump off the table in a ridiculous superman pose. fortunately, ricky was behind you, catching matthew just before he could do something stupid.

“you too, yunjin!” you called, helping her down.

after successfully wrangling them out of their impromptu performance, you started guiding everyone toward the exit. of course, it took at least ten minutes to leave the house because distractions were endless, mainly people trying to say their goodbyes to you.

eventually, you made it down the street and into the car, with ricky and daniela helping you shepherd everyone into the vehicle. ricky gave daniela a quick thank you as he slid into the driver’s seat, and you realized, since you hadn’t had much to drink after hanging out with daniela, you were starting to sober up and could finally do the whole “goodbye” thing properly.

“goodbye for real this time,” you said as you turned to daniela, your voice soft, though there was a lingering smile on your lips.

“i’m really glad we spent time together tonight, even if it was short,” daniela replied, her voice warm.

“text me when you get home,” you said, giving her a small, meaningful look.

daniela pouted, teasing, “i’m supposed to tell you that.”

“you right,” you said, laughing lightly. “i will most likely already be asleep by the time you get home, so i’ll text you instead.”

with that, you pulled her in for a tight, lingering hug, holding her close for a moment longer than you expected.

“take care, y/n,” daniela said softly into your ear as you pulled away, her fingers brushing lightly across your back.

“you too, dani,” you replied, your smile a little wider now.

you got into the passenger side of ricky’s car and he started the car and pulled away. luckily the rest of the group was too tired to even tease you about your interaction, but you were fine with dealing with that in the morning.

BACK | MAIN | NEXT

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[kat651]

Emotion (Haldir x reader)

Word count: 1591

You had been in lorien for a little over a year when you found yourself falling hard for the marchwarden. You tried your best to hide your feelings, not wanting him or anyone else to know. It seemed to work quite well until one day…

You heard a horn and looked up to see the elves returning from patrol, Haldir in the lead as usual. He looked exhausted and grumpy. Well, more grumpy than usual after a day of work. You frowned and went over to greet them as they came closer.

As you neared, Halidir didn't exactly smile, but his face did lift a bit when he saw you. You greeted him by bowing your head and extending your hand from your heart. A common elven greeting. He nodded, acknowledging your greeting. 

After a moment of hesitation you joined him as he made his way back to his chambers. “Long day,” you asked softly as the two of you walked. 

Haldir nodded. “The goblins are getting bolder. They attack more often and in larger numbers. They have drawn too close to our borders… im afraid we will have to double our efforts, get more of us out there to fight them back into the mountain where they came from.”

You frowned. “It must be tiring, fighting to keep all of lorien safe.”

Haldir nodded, agreeing with you.

“What if you found a way to seal off the exit? Trap the goblins inside?” you asked.

“We tried, they have more than one way out of that mountain… i fear they may end up hurting someone before we have a way to remove them.”

“Have you brought this to the council?”

He nodded. “They are working on a solution.”

You frowned and walked in silence for a moment. 

“Haldir?” you asked, unable to bear not knowing any longer.

“Yes?” 

You let out a breath. “Does it bother you that I walk with you every day? If you would prefer to be left alone with your thoughts i-”

Haldir gently cut you off. “No, mellon, it doesn't bother me at all. In fact I look forward to your happy greeting after a tiring day.”

You smiled. “Oh, i'm glad, i was worried i was bothering you.”

“And where would you get an idea like that?” haldir asked.

You shrugged. “People talk…”

“Well, don't pay them any attention, they are wrong.”

You smiled and stoped outside his door. “Well, i guess i come to bother you tomorrow,” you said in a joking manner.

Haldir did not laugh.

You turned to leave when he grabbed your hand, causing you to pause and turn, looking at his hand and he let go of yours. You immediately took notice that his gloves were completely worn through, causing small blisters to begin forming from the use of his bow. “What is it?” you asked, looking up and making a mental note that you should make him a new pair of gloves before his hands got any worse.

He shook his head. “Oh, nevermind…”

“I- ok…” you said, turning to leave. “You know where to find me if you need anything,” you said as you went back to your workbench to start on those gloves.

.-.-.

You rose earlier than normal and put on a cloak to shield you from the morning cold. You then snatched the gloves you’d spent all of last night making before running out the door, hoping you had gotten up early enough. 

You ran quickly through lorien, determined to stop Haldir before he left for patrol. You saw the group leaving and ran faster. “Haldir!” you called as you ran.

Hearing his name, Haldir paused and turned to see who was calling him. When he saw you his confusion escalated. You were a night owl, not an early bird. He feared something was terribly wrong. “y/n is everything alright?” he asked, walking over to you as you paused to catch your breath. 

You nodded and smiled shily, holding out the gloves to him. “I uh…” you took another breath, trying to ignore the group of elves watching you. “Yesterday i noticed your gloves were worn so i-i made you a new pair,” you said, trying hard not to blush. 

Haldir smiled and gingerly took the gloves. “Thank you, y/n…” he said.

You smiled up at him. “I hope they fit…” you said softly.

Haldir slipped them on and nodded. “They do…”

You tried to stifle a yawn but failed. 

Haldir chuckled. “Go back to bed, y/n,” he said softly.

You nodded and waved as you went back the way you had come.

Once you were out of earshot, Remli spoke up. “She likes you,” he said as the group began walking again.

Haldir stopped admiring the gloves and looked up. “You think?”

“And by the looks of it you feel the same,” Ferin said, joining the conversation. 

Haldir colored and cleared his throat. “I do not,” he said. “What would give you that notion?”

“Haldir the two of you see each other every day, she goes out of her way to greet you when you get back from patrol, and just a moment ago you were looking at her as if she was the only thing that mattered in the world,” Remli said with enthusiasm. 

“And can we acknowledge the fact that she blushes every time she sees you?” Ferin added.

“You should ask her out.”

“Yeah, just imagine it.”

“No, I will do no such thing.”

“Why not?” they asked in unison.

“My duties lie here, not wondering whether y/n may feel the same or not.”

“Oh so you do like her?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You just said you couldn't worry about whether she felt the same or not…” Ferin said.

“I did?”

“Yes!”

Haldir was silent.

“Just pay attention to the way she acts next time you see her.” Remli said. “Maybe invite her inside for once.”

The day seemed to pass in slow motion for Haldir. Every minute felt like an hour. 

When the patrol did finally come to an end, Haldir sighed with relief and walked a little faster than normal. At this point he was desperate to see you. 

You sat at your workbench, carefully working on a saddle when you heard a horn blast. You jumped to your feet and ran out the door you didn't want to be late.

When you arrived, everyone was making their way home. Except for Haldir, he stood, clearly searching for someone. You realized with a flutter of your heart that he was looking for you.

You gently tapped his shoulder and he turned around. “I know I'm late, I'm sorry…” 

Haldir smiled softly. “It's alright y/n…”

You tried to fight the blush growing on your cheeks.

This time Haldir did notice it and his smile widened. He offered you his arm, something he seldom did which caused the blush on your face to grow. You shyly linked your arm with his.

“Thank you again for the gloves, they did wonders.”

You smiled. “Well i- i couldn't just leave you to get blisters all over your hands now could i?”

Haldir smiled, Feren and Remli were right, he did love you and it was quite evident you felt the same.

Once the two of you arrived at haldir’s chambers, you stopped outside his door as usual. 

Haldir opened the door and asked you inside, you blushed and accepted his invitation. 

“Just give me a moment to change out of this and ill be right back,” he said, disappearing around the corner. 

You stood, surprised by how welcoming the room was. You smiled and looked around there were a few random items scattered among the books he had on a shelf. You walked closer studying the items with curiosity. 

Suddenly, there was an arm around your middle which caused you to gasp. “You startled me,” you said softly.

There was no answer. 

“Haldir?” you whispered softly, curiosity in your voice.

He gently turned you to face him before he pulled you to his chest, wrapping both arms around you. You stood stiff for a moment before letting yourself relax into his embrace. You tried to remember ever seeing Haldir show anyone affection. You failed. 

“y/n,” he whispered. 

“Yes?”

He released you from the hug but let his hands rest on your hips. He then leaned forward, placing his head between your collar and jaw. “I love you,” he mumbled.

You blushed madly and put your arms around him. “I love you too,” you whispered, placing a kiss on his head. “I have for quite some time…”

He lifted his head and gently placed a kiss on your cheek. “May I court you?” he asked softly.

You nodded, tears filling your eyes. “Yes…”

Haldir tilted your chin up and slowly leaned down, pressing his lips gently on yours. 

You melted into the kiss and lifted your hands to his hair before pulling him a little closer. 

Haldir pulled away but allowed his forehead to rest against yours. “It took Remli and Ferin’s teasing for me to realize just how much i love you.” 

You smiled. “Mmm, you must remind me to thank them for that…” you whispered.

Haldir chuckled. “Your just as bad as they are,” he teased, kissing you again. “Goodness, your more addicting than wine from mirkwood…” he whispered in your ear.

You were now a very deep shade of red and you knew it. 

Haldir kissed your nose. “ I love you… don't ever forget it…”

[acourtofthought]

Did you catch the latest podcast with Steph and Ava? They absolutely crack me up! The biggest takeaway for me? They both agree that Azriel's book is next. Meanwhile, the Elriels are being suspiciously quiet about it. But hey, a clickbait piece or song by Taylor somehow holds more weight, right? 😂

Sure, Steph and Ava could be wrong, but let’s be real—neither of them is losing their minds over some random “articles” or Taylor Swift lyrics. They actually know SJM personally. I mean, whether we like it or not, they have a better insight into her than any of us do. What do you think?

I definitely think they're a lot of fun together and I agree, in terms of credible news sources I would think if there's any insider knowledge to be had, it would be Steph over a random ScreenRant journalist. That her statement "not everything is meant to be taken romantically" was possibly a message to e/riels because of how they read into everything but beyond that I am a bit divided on what Steph and Ava actually know or, what they know versus what they're saying.

To me it means something that Steph was all on the E/riel train even when she and Sarah spoke about the Az bonus chapter, where Sarah told her she was excited for her to read the crumbs she scattered. Then later, they had done an IG Live where it still seemed Steph thought E/riel was a possibility and Sarah's face seemed to fall a bit but just a short time later Steph no longer though E/riel was happening. Something like that does make me wonder if Sarah told Steph that E/riel wasn't going to be a thing because there was a noticeable shift between Lives in who she thought was ending up together.

In terms of them knowing who the next book is about, I'm not sure whether they have insider knowledge. Since Sarah kept the HOFAS crossover a secret from even Josh, it's possible she's also keeping the main pairing of the next book a secret to those around her as well. Steph and Ava do think Az is next but Steph also mentioned she felt HOFAS was needed in order to build Az up to have his own book and that seems a bit odd to me. An ACOTAR series character should not need an entirely different series in order to set him up for his own book since not every ACOTAR reader will read CC. So what happens for those readers, they buy the next ACOTAR book completely confused as to where Az's story came from when they left off with SF? What if those readers only read the series because they were able to check out the books from their local library and they have no idea that his bonus chapter exists? I think the next story has to make sense for readers who stopped at SF and are not aware of any bonus chapters or what happened in CC because despite our immersion into this fandom I don't think the majority of readers are into all things SJM the way we are. A casual reader should not be obligated to read beyond the ACOTAR books in order to pick up the next book in the series and understand what's going on and Az processing a time traveler who took his dagger when starting the next book is a bit of a stretch for where things left off in SF. Especially when CC did not actually leave us with any new and immediate threats for them to deal with. Where we left off in SF was the peace treaty, Koschei, Beron and Spring as immediate concerns (they didn't sound like things that could wait another 6-9 months so Az can first deal with his stuff) and Emerie joked the Illyrians would be in hysterics for decades (an Az storyline) meaning not an immediate concern. When the big bad starts making moves in a Sarah book, things move pretty quickly from there on out. I.e. We learned of Hyberns plans in January and the war occurred in August. I think the TOG series occurred over a year. In SF, we learned of Koschei and the Trove in September / October and SF ended in April. So I'm not sure it makes sense to have an Az book (my guess is you'd need at least 6 - 9 months for a realistic love story if he's ending up with Gwyn) then at least another 6 months for an Elain book and for us to finally see Koschei's defeat. That stretches out the Koschei / Beron plot well beyond her norm.

With that said, maybe Steph does know something but if she did, would she say it? That would be breaking the trust of Sarah and Bloomsbury. Knowing something then saying "but it's just my opinion" still kind of spills the tea if you've been forced to sign an NDA. Usually if people know secrets they avoid the topic entirely. Or maybe Steph knows something but she says the opposite to throw people off so she doesn't reveal secrets. In the podcast she also said that if Az and Elain don't end up together, she doesn't think Lucien and Elain are ending up together but that Lucien still can't have his story until Elain deals with her bond and to me that's a strange thing to say. If Elain isn't ending up with Lucien or Az then who is she sharing a book with? And how would we get an Az book, then an Elain book THEN Sarah tackles Lucien's story? How are we dividing the current plots between the three, all with three different love interests? Ava also said she couldn't remember Elain stabbing the King so again, are they just messing with us or are they just too busy with other stuff to actually dive deep into these books the same way we do? Which is completely understandable, they seem to be extremely busy with everything else they have going on, I'm just not sure how much of what they say should be written as gospel.

With all that said, I do think it's possible for Steph to know something but at the same time I'm not sure that what she's saying is her revealing the information she knows. I think it would cross a line to have insider information then share that insider information on podcasts while saying "it's just my opinion" to cover yourself.

However, she's also mentioned a few times that she tells Sarah not to spoil anything for her so I end up divided on the topic.

[hinamie]

thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life

bonus:

[mocha-crexm]

kunizai week day 1 — first snow ❄️

—————

knkdz week is hosted on twt (x) !!

please go check it out under the #KnkdzWeek2024 tag

or through @/KnkdzWeek2024 !! https://x.com/knkdzweek2024?s=21&t=fPQo78-AgU7vbA_KfjpOtw

[skullfragments]

soooo i've been real busy this past month and change working on this monster of a painting! it was originally for the GO Ref library study club but clearly took much longer than i anticipated😅

for those of you who don't recognize it, this is based on one of my favorite historical paintings, Judith Beheading Holofernes (1620) by Artemisia Gentileschi. i love the Baroque period and this painting (as well as her other works) makes me insane. here it is Good Omens style so maybe all of you can be insane with me <3

"Aziraphale (and Crowley) Beheading the Metatron"

(non-bloody and non-glowy versions under the cut)

[thenotsolittlelady]

Decided to redraw and colour a sketch of my gobbo Veez~ I miss the grumpy bastard <3

[hamlet-not-hamnet]

“Cause I am the one who looks out when you‘re leaping

I am the one who knows how you were brave

And I am the one who heard what you said sleeping

I‘ll take that and more when I go to my grave.“

(xuexiao + the ballad of lucy gray baird)

[peanutseagle]

what do you MEAN you're out of peanuts????

[a-finnish-janitor]

Really like how he actually changes his voice for those couple of lines in this narration.