#well these tags went on a tangent haha

[comfortableinthesilence]

The looks you get when you buy a 1ltr bottle of Vodka at 7am on the way to work are hilarious 😂😂😂

[hecatesbroom]

I hope you don't mind the influx of GG/Dorothy asks you've gotten because I really love your takes and your fics really touch upon a more vulnerable part of Dorothy that I feel was rarely fully explored but was very much present. I was watching recently an ep where Dorothy says she thought her father didn't like her or love her and Sophia cracked that he always talked her up ... to try and sell her to gypsies. Dorothy says "do you know how much that hurts me when you say things like that?". It's one of those lines that's never really followed up on or given a big moment but it stays with me.

Not at all!! I love hearing from you! <3 (and if you ever feel up to it, feel free to send me a dm as well! I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)

Thank you so much :') I started writing Golden Girls fics precisely for that reason: Dorothy's vulnerability is left so underexplored in the show, even in the moments that (in my opinion, anyway!) presented the perfect opportunity to delve a little deeper into her feelings. I had to give her a moment to shine haha.

That line is the perfect example of what I'm talking about, actually! They throw in those really poignant lines or moments (or even just looks, at times) that hint at so much going on beneath the surface, but it's never expanded on. The only emotional moments she does get, that are fully followed up on, are those relating to Stan -- and even there I feel like a lot is glossed over (often by Dorothy herself, first and foremost).

I could probably write an essay on this but I'll spare you, but I think Sophia's often treated much the same -- if slightly differently -- in the show! And I mean, considering she raised Dorothy, I'm pretty sure she inadvertently ended up teaching Dorothy that covering up your vulnerability is the only way to deal with it. Sophia covers her feelings with quips and jokes, Dorothy does it through dismissal.

And because both of their methods for covering up are very convenient for a sitcom (I can drag Blanche into this as well, by the way. But I promised not to write an essay) it's *so easy* for the narrative to just. go along with their own dismissal of their feelings. Have Sophia distract from her feelings with a funny joke, and the audience is on the floor. Have Dorothy dismiss her feelings with a Look, and there's another opening for someone else to keep up the pace and move the scene along into lighter territory.

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy

[cosmic-ships]

Confession: I really hate this website. I don't understand how to make friends or why some things get interaction and some don't and although it's the only place with self shippers, I am so lonely most of the time I think I should just leave because what's the point? I also don't have any art or writing skills so can't post anything like that and my husband's world is not popular or one where other people self ship so it's not like I can even get into fandom stuff. Just so tired. I miss Livejournal (outing my age, lol). I GOT that. I just want people to know and remember he and I, we were, we loved. Our love existed.

anonymously confess something to you.

Awe, I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. You don't have to have the skill to draw or write. I used to be god-awful at both art and drawing but I just...practiced whenever I was able too. Practice makes progress after all, I didn't care if my writing or art was bad in comparison (not that you should compare) but I created it because it makes me happy!

Again, it's ultimately up to you on how you want to do things and in no way am I implying you should do it my way!!

You can always just love post! For a long while and I mean like... two years I hardly produced anything. All I did really was reblog other mutuals art/wrting and occasionally I would make a post just hollering about my f/o. The good thing about that is that it doesn't have to be coherent you can literally type "LSDKJFLKSDJFLDSK MY F/O HHHHHHHH" and people would like it because you're just screaming that you love them!

I remember Livejournal, I never used it myself but I do remember it. I guess in a way you got to put yourself out there. interact with some people either through tags of something they made and you rbd or like participate in sending asks to people. I am in no means "well known" but I found some people who like to put up with my annoying ass /lh

I don't really talk to people privately either, its all mainly through dash communication and asks/asks games.

I understand that it can be hard and frustrating but there are a multitude of different ways of showing your f/o you love them and just a gentle reminder that you're here for you and your ships and if you find some people a long the way who also support your ships, that's a bonus! <3

I know quite a few who have obscure f/o and while yeah content can be hard to come by, like I said there is a lot you can do from if you wanted to try drawing/writing, moodboard making, playlist creation, pintrest board creation, loveposting (Even if it is keysmashes followed by 100 ilus lol)

I'm sorry if I went on a tangent, if you fell asleep partway through I don't blame you! lol I just wanted to kind of reassure you in a sense that there are ways of loving your f/o and showing that love. You don't NEED to make content of them to prove your love or your ships worth and you're here because you want to share some form of love for them right? You're doing that for you and because you want too! Eventually, the right people will find you.

I've never actively looked for friends on the hellsite, people migrated towards me and now I have a lot of lovely mutuals who I can also call friends. It didn't happen overnight (I've been here since like....2017? a least self shipping, been here longer than that tho) but it will happen.

I just be super unapologetic about this insane amount of love I feel and whenever I feel the need I scream via a text post haha

I'M R A M B L I N G (WRAP IT UP KADEN GAWD!) /j /lh

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated/upset with your experience on the hellsite and I really do with all my heart anon, hope that it turns around for you <3 Please take care!

[swueesharts]

For Misery Loves Company

-A Picture I took this evening, after seeing some acquaintances I know take pictures of the same scenery. Guess my photo diary habits did influence others

Today, was a day that leaves no mark in my life. Well, it does. But not in a way that leaves me satisfied. I am utterly chagrined with myself. I tried to improve myself more and take a step closer to a better me; I planned to study art from P5R(Persona 5 Royal), I wanted to do some figure croques. I also wanted to organise the vocabulary that I accrued over the years to expand my repertoire. But alas, my media addiction took ahold of me. I wasted 5 hours of my life on Netflix. Although while impressive and relatable, binging blue period wasn't on my agenda.

It's funny how terrible you could feel from realising the damage you did to yourself. I currently feel like someone took a cutter knife, stabbed it deep into my heart, and left it there. Watching as it weighs down my heart, slicing it deeper, and deeper. While a gruesome allegory, I believe it best describes how I feel witnessing my unfolding misery. But you know what they say, "Misery loves Company". I ran a quick google search and absorbed the information that the phrase is used to explain how those who share similar pains would try to connect to each other. My misery also wanted company. I thought perhaps meeting new people might help, so I went around snooping for some online communities where they talked about formalities and etiquette. I desperately wanted to share my desires to reborn again. But my efforts were futile. A discord bot wasted me 3 hours of troubleshooting its captcha only to find the place unwelcoming of my prescence. The bot mocks me with its corporate flourish.

Taking a step back, perhaps it is expected to take a positive twist on this. Today is the last day before... the last day of school. So maybe it is supposed to be a day where I could wind down a bit and take things slow. Maybe I've been looking at my current social life in the wrong light. Perhaps instead of looking for new, I should instead keep in touch with my old connections and check up on them. I also now know Discord has an issue with the captcha feature on mobile phones.

To add further, perhaps I should look into support groups instead of finishing schools. I feel as though I am not "emotionally stable" enough to brush up on my social grace yet. Perhaps I should connect with those with life wisdom to help me form a better version of myself. I also should check on how my "brain" is doing after ignoring it, but that's another confession I'll cough up later once it allows me to.

Anyhow, sorry for this dull and gloomy blog entry. This post is a way for me to let off some steam in a composed manner. If any of you lizards and afros know how to tackle my situation, hit me up. I'd appreciate some solace and support. I know I'm not alone, and that is what's gonna push me forward.

ps. A side tangent if I might, but I do adore discovering animal foortprints on leftover snow. Makes you wonder what journey they were taking, and where it leads them. Exciting, don't you think?

#vent #emotio- (ah right, tags don't work this way in tumblr haha.)

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Right up front I need to say…

Dude, I’m sorry this happened and idk how I got so out control

Mea culpa 😩 but technically a lot of it is quotes so it’s prob only like half that tbh

Anyway let’s put all these scattered thoughts under the cut 😅

The following whatever this is contains

Opinions about sports from someone who only watches Soccer for a period of 2-3 weeks every 2 years ⚽️

Fanfiction about your fanfiction ✍️

Tangents about LOTR and Joan Jett 🧝‍♂️👩‍🎤

Many emojis👁️👄👁️

And obviously my confusing style of commentary 😵‍💫

You felt like you were going to jump out of your skin from how eager you were, but you had to play it cool.

Me, internally: omfg I’m in Nat’s car!!!🤠 Does this mean we are besties now???? Can I put her as my emergency contact?? Is it too early to suggest matching tattoos??? 👯‍♀️

“I’m glad you accepted. You said you liked motocross when it was brought up in the work chat,"

Me, looking at the group chat: WTF is motocross??? Where is the “r”??? Is that a typo??? Is it like monster trucks or something?? Yuck…

..oh wait Nat is driving ppl there???😯😯😯

*proceeds to be cringey af in the group chat*

You went to a few races back home. They were fun.

Oh nvm reader actually knows what it is haha 😆

You somehow managed to hit it off with Natasha, your coworker. She had a cool, almost intimidating, energy about her that you appreciated.

Me talking about Nat:

“What’s the sour look for?”

Me, an overly sensitive person: I feel like u aren’t enjoying the playlist I made for us 😓

(The playlist is just Old Town Road remixes and Wannabe by the Spice Girls)

“So, you brought me out here to introduce me to a couple of your guy friends, watch them race, and help get me laid?” 

She waited a beat before she answered. “Something like that.”

Me, internally: wait… what does she mean??? “Something like that” 🤔 hang on…. is this… omg… are we on a DATE rn????😳😳😳 omg omg omg 😍😍😍😍

“I’m not going to hook up with some random racer,” you smiled,

Me, as reader: I need an emotional connection with someone, u know? Like, someone I would feel safe accepting a ride from…. Or like someone I know from work idk hahahaha 🫠

“I wouldn’t judge you if you did,” she said as the car began to slow down. 

My brain, totally misinterpreting this whole convo: hmmmm this must mean she would definitely judge me for it. This is a test of my loyalty to her. I won’t let u down Nat!!!

“You want someone who talks back.”

Me: whoa is she flirting with me 😲😳😳😳

"That makes sense," she agreed. "Someone who gets you."

Me, for real, like me right now writing this comment: ok wait so I was just going along with the bit, but I feel this could actually be interpreted in a romantic way??? Like a friends to lovers?

Also me: uh.. closest thing I’ve watched a romcom is Red Eye and I have a lot of trouble with context clues 😅

"You're not," she interrupted. "Guys get away with being brazen all the time. Girls should be able to do the same."

Hell right!!!

“I just want someone who appreciates me. Someone who pushes back when I push, but lets me be vulnerable, too,"

Am I crazy or is Nat not like, all of these things based on the convo they just had??? The tag says BuckyxReader but like I would not be mad at all if this was a bait and switch lmao 🤣

I just feel like this could be a setup where the friend is like trying to play matchmaker for reader, and then reader is like wow, this friend understands me so well!! I wish I could have a relationship with someone like that…

And then at the end it’s like your soulmate was right in front of u the whole time 🥹

both 450 riders

Me: wait is this a new line of Levi’s jeans?

Nat doesn't seem like the type to hang out with assholes. 

No one:

Me: Nat has never done anything wrong in her entire life 😤😤😤

"Fair warning. Steve is usually a bit quiet before a race, but Bucky can be a bit unpredictable," she told you.

Ok wait wait wait. So like, in my personal fanfic of this fanfic:

Nat also has feelings for the reader

She pretends to set her up on dates

but purposely chooses guys that won’t make a good first impression

reader will be like “ugh… this was a disaster. I wish I could find someone that understands me like u Nat ”

"Though I'm questioning why you thought it would be a good idea to introduce me before the race.

Ya Nat!! Why would u do that????🤔🤔🤔 For real like why? 🤨🤨🤨Is it bc u want to show reader that these other dudes are not a good match for her??? Huh???

Natasha gave you a rare smile before it quickly fell.

Me: omg I’m never blinking again so I can have that image in my eyes forever

Natasha inhaled sharply, the only telltale giveaway that she was upset. And that upset you.

Me, ignoring everything reader just thought about Bucky: it upsets her that Nat is upset 😭😭😭 they are truly meant to beeeeee

Maddox the Meager. Mediocre.

I feel like “mediocre” as a word has a bad rep lol 😟 it just means like, average or ordinary right? Not really the worst insult, right?

I mean arguably it could be a neutral to slightly negative descriptor? But then just like Joan Jett, somewhere along they way it got a bad reputation that it doesn’t deserve. #Justice for Joan and justice for mediocre!!! 😤😤😤

The author rn, probably: how can someone go so far off the rails from the original plot like what is happening 😵‍💫

Natasha let out a hum of approval

My confidence level:

“Meager, mediocre, prick,” you rattled off easily as his nostrils flared. “Well, what else should I call someone who eggs someone else on before a race?

She says, as she eggs on another racer before the race 🤣🤣🤣 I guess it doesn’t count tho bc she’s not a competitor

Okay, why did hearing that make my heart stop?

Me: ok I made a good impression with Nat’s friends ✅ our social circles should blend seamlessly when we start to date 👍

The guy’s a bully on and off the tracks, but fans and sponsors seem to love him

Lmaooooo Cristiano Ronaldo being subtweeted here 😂😂😂

(Apologies if u are a fan of CR7 😬I mean, I will be cheering for Morocco in their game against Portugal tomorrow but like… I hope both teams enjoy have fun?)

Natasha’s told us all about you

👀👀👀👀👀 oh rly

Lol Nat’s like: ya can one of y’all like date her or something I’m getting major single white female vibes and I’m this close to filing a restraining order😨

Nat really has told us a lot about you, which isn’t like her.”

AM I BEING TRICKED RN??? @navybrat817 ??? I feel like this could go either way???? Are there crumbs of NatxReader or am I truly psychotic 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

You: um no they are just good friends….

Me, foaming at the mouth: friendship is the best romance!!! No one reads/watches LOTR for Aragorn x Arwen right??? It’s Sam and Frodo all the way! Friendship conquers all!!! 🥹🥹🥹

The reality: ppl reading LOTR for Legolas x Aragorn, Legolas x Gimli, etc 😆

"Yeah, I noticed she can be a bit guarded, but she really has done a lot to make me feel welcome here."

Nat coming out of her shell for reader 💗

Friendship really is the best tho. Like, being serious for a sec, I’m actually getting a serotonin boost from Nat taking reader under her wing. That’s some real sisterhood shit. 🥹

Did you notice that Maddox didn’t raise his voice or step forward when you snapped at him? He made you look aggressive, which is probably how he wanted you to look to anyone else who saw it,”

I mean, let’s not give Maddox too much credit here. Like… I think Bucky made himself look aggressive by actually being aggressive lmao.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t hit him. Because he would have won and guys like him don’t deserve to win,” you said

First part of the statement, totally 100% agree. 🙌💯👌👌👌

Second part….😅 lol look, my favs have been eliminated in the group stages for the past two world cups, despite being a solid, hardworking, internationally successful (in the past haha) team.

If I were to give my opinion on anything about sports (which I know very little of outside of soccer), it’s that there is no “deserve to win” 😣

CR7 is a diva, Neymar takes a dive anytime another player so much as breathes in his direction, Suarez has bitten like 3 ppl on the pitch like a rabid animal, but they are all skilled players 😑.

Do they “deserve” to win? I mean… I feel like it would be unfair to say no? 😓

Like imagine u are the fastest runner in the world, but also a shitty person. U still trained hard and worked hard for ur athletic achievements. That’s the point of sports competitions right? Physical prowess?

Idk I just feel like “deserves” isn’t rly applicable to sports haha. But I get what u mean… bc we feel like ppl should be rewarded/punished for their actions right? Like “good” people “deserve” to be happy, and obvi doing well in their sport is prob a major source of happiness for athletes.

Kind of like a karma thing I guess…? but idk I would hope that whatever karmic justice happens outside the arena tho bc most sports are like the last objectively quantifiable competition lol

Other stuff like public opinion, “approval points”, brand deals, etc is fair game for character judgement tho lmao

“I’m sorry. I talk too much and you didn’t ask for my opinion.”

Reader: I talk too much 😖

Me: hold my venti soy green tea frapp (ya, i get the basic birch drink at Starbucks haha), u ain’t seen nothin yet *writes a 2k word comment lol*

“And to piss him off. Maybe I want to get under his skin, too.”

😒

Me: Nat would never do this to me tbh

“I'm not a pawn or chew toy for you dogs to play with."

Ya u tell him girrrllll!!!

“But if you really want to piss him off, I have another pair of lips you can kiss instead."

Wait what the heck??? is she going to make Nat kiss him??? 😟

She invited you to watch the race with her and implied that she wanted you to have a good time, but she shouldn’t have to watch you flirt with her friend.

Me, still committed to the bit: ya, for all u know, u are on a date with her rn. SMH😤😤😤

"Barnes? Barnes!" Natasha said, snapping you both out of whatever spell you were under.

Ok wait but what if Nat liked Bucky (forever mad WinterWidow didn’t happen lol), or Nat liked reader??? Idk man, I guess it makes sense bc reader says she leads with her emotions but I am very anxious and conflict avoidant so I would want to map out the pre-existing relationships/feelings btwn all these ppl first haha

"Winner gets a date with her," he declared, pointing at you.

FUCKING WHat??? 🤯🤯🤯😱😱😱😡😡😡dude this just just like in the flop sequel to the Phantom of the Opera musical where Raoul and the Phantom make a bet on who “gets” Christine behind her back. Btw at this point Raoul is literally her husband lmao

I’m glad reader was like IT’S A NO FOR ME DAWG 👎👎👎

“Consider it a payment for the unsolicited advice,”

he literally just thanked her for the unsolicited advice tho???? Wait is he saying this is his way of repaying her??? (At first I thought he meant payback for the advice haha)

So like, in exchange for giving him unsolicited advice she gets coerced on a date with either this punk ass hot head, or the guy who’s a prick???

😐

Ok this is just more evidence for my crack theory that Nat wants to show her how bad the dating scene is out there 🤔

“Nat, tell him!”

“After all that? And after I saw you check out his ass?" she smirked. 

😧😧😧

Nat we are OVER. I’m leaving the work group chat and getting an Uber rn and then sending u a venmo request for the cost of that Uber. 😤😤😤 how could u do this 😭😭😭 after I made u a Spotify playlist and everything 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Bucky was her friend and you shouldn’t have let him kiss you. "Nat, I’m sorry. If I made you uncomfortable-"

Oh cool, I like this communication that’s going on 👍

"But he's your friend."

"You're my friend, too

Nvm I’m fully back on the friendship train 🤠

"To be perfectly honest, I was hoping for the two of you to hit it off,” she admitted,

Me watching all my crack theories crumble into dust:

Alexa, play

“Because I didn’t want you to feel pressured to come for that reason and didn’t want you to feel awkward if you didn’t like him. I wanted it to just happen. And if it didn’t, no big deal. You would’ve been none the wiser.”

This is some nat 20 diplomacy shit (haha nat 20, get it)

“I feel a bit hustled.”

ME TOO SIS 😅😅😅

The redhead pursed her lips. “I get why you feel that way, but don’t hold that against him.

Oh snap I thought she meant she felt hustled by Nat 🤣

“He will,” Nat’s voice was soft, but firm.

Lmao she’s like: I cut the other guys brakes and slashed his tires 😏

Oh ya so in my fanfic of your fanfic, Nat and reader and up together and two other characters also end up together in a ~surprise twist

Which two? Here’s a hint:

Starting Gate

Pairing: Motocross!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You attract the attention of your coworker's friend who just happens to be a handsome racer who plays for keeps. Word Count: Almost 5.5k Warnings: Flirting, tension, swearing, rivalries, future explicit sexual content, motocross!Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?) A/N: Hey, lovelies! Welcome to my motocross AU! I'm excited to share the start of Hothead and Spitfire. This may expand to other racers as well. Thank you @sweeterthanthis @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @dreamlessinparis @buckyownsmylife for letting me scream about this. Beta read by the beautiful @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Banners by the talented @vase-of-lilies. Moodboard by yours truly with the incredible Bucky edit provided by Nix. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Please reblog or comment as it means the world!

Looking out the window of the passenger seat of Natasha Romanoff’s car, you couldn't stop yourself from smiling as she drove. The sun was shining in the light blue sky, but the air was relatively warm. It's a beautiful day for a race. You felt like you were going to jump out of your skin from how eager you were, but you had to play it cool.

“You know you’re allowed to be excited about today.”

So much for playing it cool.

“I’m a little excited,” you said, giving her a smile as you looked away from the window. “Okay, I’m really excited. I’m glad you invited me.”

“I’m glad you accepted. You said you liked motocross when it was brought up in the work chat," she pointed out. You went to a few races back home. They were fun. "I’ve wanted to introduce you to a couple of the guys and I thought today would be perfect.”

Since you moved to the area a few months before, you hadn’t had time to make many friends. You somehow managed to hit it off with Natasha, your coworker. She had a cool, almost intimidating, energy about her that you appreciated. Her actions and words were deliberate and calculated, while you sometimes led with emotion. She admitted recently that she admired that, along with your grit, because it showed her how honest you were. 

Not that everyone appreciates it.

You wouldn’t necessarily call yourself argumentative, but you were vocal. Your parents heard from teachers often as you grew up that you stood up for what you believed in, pushed the envelope at times, and wore your heart on your sleeve. While some thought that those were admirable traits, others wrote you off as emotional or snappy. It didn’t always hurt when that happened. A smaller circle of people who accepted you was better than a large group who didn’t care at the end of the day.

Maybe I can find that here.

“What’s the sour look for?”

“Shouldn’t your eyes be on the road?” you half teased, not wanting your thoughts to cloud your good mood.

“You’re regretting wearing the skirt, aren’t you?” her lip quirked up, not quite smiling.

“You TOLD me to wear this!” you reminded her.

“I suggested it because you said you couldn’t remember the last time you got laid.”

You huffed a little. "Boys suck. I need a man."

By definition, you weren't a jaded girl about love. Though your friends back home sometimes reminded you that you had a bit of a wild streak, especially when it came to boys. You liked the rush of excitement in the beginning and the thrill of not knowing what would happen tomorrow. Somewhere along the way, your wants changed. You still craved excitement, but also wanted the guy you fell for to stick around once the euphoria faded. You wanted to be loved.

Am I asking for too much?

"Oh, some of them here are very much boys. A few are decent men."

“So, you brought me out here to introduce me to a couple of your guy friends, watch them race, and help get me laid?” 

She waited a beat before she answered. “Something like that.”

“I’m not going to hook up with some random racer,” you smiled, though getting laid did sound nice. Sex wasn’t the beginning and end of everything for you, but you hadn’t been fucked in months and you were starting to get frustrated. At least I have my trusty toy.

“I wouldn’t judge you if you did,” she said as the car began to slow down. 

“Nat…” you began, turning as much as you could in your seat to face her. “I have a perfectly good vibrator at home. It’s dependable and doesn’t talk back.”

She gave you a knowing look once she parked in the grass parking lot, evident even through her sunglasses. “You want someone who talks back.”

You bit your tongue before you could say you wanted someone dependable, too. “Maybe, but not too much. I don’t want a pushover, but I don’t want an asshole either.”

“Was that why it didn’t work out with that guy back home? What was his name? Frank?”

You wrinkled your nose a bit. “He was only a partial asshole. He was also part sex god and a had a self destructive streak a mile wide,” you said. 

Frank was a free spirit, always up for an adventure. You knew he was never meant to be the guy you ended up with forever, but you were drawn to him nonetheless in the beginning. Sex could only distract you so much from the lack of direction in life and occasional drug use. In the end, you couldn’t fix him and he didn’t want you to.

You still wished him well.

“Are you looking for Mr. Perfect?”

“No, I’m not. Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist because someone like that doesn't have flaws. That isn’t realistic. I just want a guy perfect for me."

"That makes sense," she agreed. "Someone who gets you."

"Exactly. I'm a lot to handle, but-"

"You're not," she interrupted. "Guys get away with being brazen all the time. Girls should be able to do the same."

"Thanks, Nat,” you sighed a little. She was right. “I just want someone who appreciates me. Someone who pushes back when I push, but lets me be vulnerable, too," you explained before you sat up straight. “Wait, why are we talking about this? This is race day.”

Natasha hummed thoughtfully as she tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Okay. Let’s go.”

What is she up to?

You bit your lip as you got out of the car, replaying your words in your mind as you smoothed out your skirt. You wondered if you set your expectations for guys too high. It doesn't matter. I'm not here to pick up anyone, even if the racers look hot with their gloves and the way their asses look in their pants and everything else.

It was crowded as the two of you began to walk, but not overwhelming. It was still a bit early. You saw the track ahead before you veered off toward the trailers. "You sure they don't mind meeting me now? We could always wait until after the race," you offered. 

"I promised I'd stop by to wish them good luck.”

“Remind me again who I’m meeting?” 

“Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, both 450 riders and two of the best in their class. Been best friends since they were kids," she replied. "Might see a couple of the others, but that may not be until after the race."

You remembered seeing a few photos of Bucky and Steve on Natasha's social media page. Both were handsome, but the brunette with the steel blue eyes caught your attention. From what you heard in passing, he was single. 

How the hell is a guy that handsome not seeing anyone? Maybe he’s a manwhore, which is his choice. Nat doesn't seem like the type to hang out with assholes. 

"Fair warning. Steve is usually a bit quiet before a race, but Bucky can be a bit unpredictable," she told you.

"What do you mean?"

"He may be grumpy or just stare at you. It intimidates a few people. Please, don't take it personally if he does.”

"I'm a big girl. I can handle it," you promised. "Though I'm questioning why you thought it would be a good idea to introduce me before the race. And no promises that I won’t make a face if he stares.”

Natasha gave you a rare smile before it quickly fell. “Shit,” she whispered, walking a bit faster. You fell in step beside her, hearing heated voices ahead. Two men, racers by the look of their outfits, were standing inches apart and the larger of the two looked ready to come to blows before a third rushed over.

“Stay the fuck away from my bike!”

“Buck, step back. He isn’t worth it.”

"I wasn’t anywhere near your bike. You’re paranoid.” 

“You’re a fucking prick!”

“Hey! You boys causing trouble?” Natasha called out, trying to break the tension as you got closer.

You recognized two out of the three men as they looked your way. The one who pushed his way into the middle with dark blonde hair and a trimmed beard was Steve Rogers. He looked a bit thankful for the distraction, even though he could hold his own from the looks of him. If you had to guess his height, you would say 6’3 or 6’4. The baggy arms of the red, white, and blue jersey didn’t hide how muscular he was.

You didn’t recognize the man on the left with the dark brown hair, but you saw him give you a once over with a smirk. His eyes almost matched his hair color. Between that and the black and white jersey against his tanned skin, you were sure girls flocked to him. 

Handsome. Cocky. And he's looking at me like he owns me. 

And the man on the right? That was Bucky Barnes. Just as tall and broad as his best friend, but he looked like a cobra ready to strike. And seeing him in person, oh, he was very much your type. His eyes really were like steel as they bore into yours, strands of his medium length caramel hair framing his gorgeous face as he clenched his fists. He looked like sex and danger personified, the kind of man who would devour you if you let him. 

Well, I’m fucked.

You were also glad you wore that skirt.

“Only trouble is this fucking prick messing with my bike,” Bucky snapped, pointing at the other brunette. 

“Maddox Rumlow. Good racer, big ego, even bigger prick,” Natasha whispered to you, almost making you snort with laughter.

“For the last time, I didn’t touch your bike,” Maddox calmly spoke, smirking as he cocked his head to the side. “And I don’t need to mess with it to beat you. I can beat you on my own just fine.”

“And I can beat your face in just fine,” Bucky gritted.

That shouldn’t turn me on.

Maddox didn’t look phased. If anything, he looked amused. “If I were you, I’d worry about finishing the race and not messing up my other arm. Not unless you want a matching pair.”

“That’s enough,” Steve said through his teeth as Natasha inhaled sharply, the only telltale giveaway that she was upset. And that upset you. Bucky was her friend and you felt protective of him for that reason. “Seriously, what’s your problem? You never give Levinson or Jensen or anyone else this kind of grief.”

“I’m not giving Barnes grief,” Maddox had the nerve to look wounded, looking at a few others who had ventured over, likely wanting to see if there would be a fight. “No one wants him to get hurt. Again.”

Glancing at Bucky, you saw him clench his fists even tighter. That’s when you heard the slight whirr. Natasha didn’t give you the details, but she mentioned that he lost his left arm some time back and received a metal prosthetic in its place. You couldn’t see it with the shirt and glove covering it, but the tick in the brunette’s jaw told you that Maddox’s earlier comment struck a nerve. It struck a nerve with everyone.

Oh, fuck this guy.

“I’m sorry, your name’s Maddox?” you asked sweetly to catch his eye, looking him up and down the way he had to you moments ago. 

“I am,” he answered with a charming smile, licking his bottom lip as he shamelessly checked you out again. If he eye-fucks me any harder… “Haven’t seen you before. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

Steve had to bring his arm up to keep Bucky from moving toward him, making you pause before you said your name. Is he just done with his shit? “Nat says you’re a good racer.”

“Good? One of the best,” he corrected you. “You’ll see.”

“So humble,” Natasha said under her breath.

“Are you messing with Bucky here because he’s your biggest threat?” you guessed.

“I wouldn’t call him a threat. More like friendly competition. It never hurt anyone,” Maddox smirked as Bucky glared back at him.

He’s trying to get under his skin and it’s working. Well, two can play that game.

“Right. Keeps people on their toes. I get it. But I bet he has a kickass nickname,” you said, giving Bucky a soft smile before you looked back at Maddox. “Do you have one or should I pick one for you? Maddox the Meager. Mediocre. Or should we just go with what he called you: Prick? Maddox the Prick has a nice ring to it.”

The smirk Maddox wore instantly went away as Steve’s eyebrows shot up. Natasha let out a hum of approval as you looked at Bucky out of the corner of your eye. He had a smirk on his face and you couldn’t help but clench at the sight of it.

God, if he smirked at me like that while he’s between my thighs…

"What was that?” Maddox asked, the false charm completely gone from his earlier tone.

“Meager, mediocre, prick,” you rattled off easily as his nostrils flared. “Well, what else should I call someone who eggs someone else on before a race? Doesn’t seem like 'friendly' competition to me. I kind of get it, but just because he has a couple of inches on you-"

"I'm taller than him," he cut you off.

You raised an eyebrow, "I wasn't talking about his height."

Maddox's mouth set in a grim line as you heard a couple of low whistles and chuckles. Doesn’t feel good to have someone go after your ego, does it? “You have a mouth on you.”

“So I’ve been told,” you shrugged a little.

“I like it," he grinned, but there was nothing friendly behind it. "I can think of a couple of things you can do with your mouth, sweetheart."

“I’m not your sweetheart.”

“And she’s not interested,” Bucky said, making you shiver. Unlike the fury you heard when he snapped at Maddox previously, all you heard was ice in his tone. Maybe that was the reason you didn't mind that he spoke for you. “So fuck off.”

For a split second, Maddox looked furious. He recovered quickly as he straightened up and winked at you. “We’ll see about that,” he said, taking a few steps back. “See you on the track.”

Bucky turned away from you to watch him walk away, giving you a chance to check out his ass. No, no, no. Don’t look. Fuck, I want to squeeze it. He swung back toward you as your head snapped up, giving you a full head-to-toe view of him. The red and grey of his motocross gear suited him. You noticed after a moment that he was also effectively blocking Maddox from your view as he walked away, forcing you to look at him instead. “I like her, Nat.”

Okay, why did hearing that make my heart stop?

“I knew you would,” the redhead replied, nudging you with her shoulder. “And I knew you’d make an impression, but I didn’t think you’d have fans.”

“What?” you blinked as she nodded to Steve and a couple of others you didn’t recognize. You were the center of attention. Even Bucky’s eyes were still on you. “Hi. Why are you all staring at me?”

Steve chuckled a little. “Because we’re not used to seeing someone putting Rumlow in his place. The guy’s a bully on and off the tracks, but fans and sponsors seem to love him. I’m Steve, by the way,” he said, holding out his gloved hand as he gestured to the guys behind him with his head. “That’s Sam and Joaquin. Natasha’s told us all about you.”

“Nice to meet you,” you said as you shook it, noting that he was careful not to crush your hand. “All good things, I hope.”

“All good things, but I’m a little bummed I missed the show,” Sam smiled, running a hand along his buzzed hair. There had to be something in the water since he was built, too, though he was slightly smaller than Bucky and Steve. 

Joaquin, the smallest of the four men, gave you a small smile. “Care to give a repeat performance?”

“Only if Levinson gets to see it. He’ll be pissed when he hears he missed it, too,” Sam joked.

“For now, the show’s over,” Nat said, shooing them toward the trailer.  

Except for Bucky.

He caught your eye as he moved closer to you. He actually looked relaxed. And he smiled at you. “I’m Bucky. Nat really has told us a lot about you, which isn’t like her.”

Oh, he has a gorgeous smile. 

You repeated your name for him, a little disappointed that he didn’t shake your hand like Steve. "Yeah, I noticed she can be a bit guarded, but she really has done a lot to make me feel welcome here."

"You like it here?"

"Yeah, I do," you nodded, the small talk unexpected, but nice.

“Do you make it a point to jump in to defend complete strangers or am I the exception to the rule?”

You had to smile at the question. “You’re Nat’s friend, so you’re not a complete stranger,” you teased, making him smile more. You wanted him to smile again. “And while I don’t know the history between you two, I could tell from the small interaction that he was being an ass. I’m not exactly known for holding my tongue.”

“I don’t doubt that. Not every day people call him a prick to his face. Well, besides me."

“The shoe fit,” you shrugged, not at all ashamed. “And I’d say it again.”

“You’re a little spitfire, aren’t you?” he grinned, putting his hands on his hips.

“I guess you could call me that," you smiled. You liked it. "You know, I was half expecting to meet a grump. Nat said that’s how you are sometimes before a race.”

“I usually am,” he said honestly, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “Until that prick showed up, hanging around my bike and looking in my trailer.”

“Why did you let him get to you?” you asked curiously.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked disappointed in himself. “I don’t know. I’ve never liked the guy and he never liked me. Had it out for me from the start," he explained.

"Probably because you really are his biggest threat."

"That and he comes from a family of assholes. He’s a good racer, I’ll give him that, but he plays dirty and doesn’t care who gets hurt as long as he gets ahead. Worst part is he acts like he’s a good guy when almost everyone else is looking.”

“So, he really is a prick,” you teased, kicking a bit of grass with your shoe.

“Yeah, he is. I don't think he's used to a gorgeous girl seeing through him. And I’m never going to let him live ‘Maddox the Prick’ down, so thanks for that."

He thinks I'm gorgeous?

“Glad I could be of service,” you smiled. “If I can give you one more thing? Unsolicited advice, but try not to act like a hothead to your competition."

Bucky's brows pinched slightly. It was adorable. "I'm not a hothead."

“Maybe not, but you kind of acted like one. Did you notice that Maddox didn’t raise his voice or step forward when you snapped at him? He made you look aggressive, which is probably how he wanted you to look to anyone else who saw it,” you explained. Stop talking. Why am I talking so much? “I think he was trying to goad you into a fight and or at least rile you up to throw off your game.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he regarded you. Fuck, I upset him. He didn’t move away from you though and you refused to squirm or back down under his gaze.

“If Steve hadn’t held you back, would you have punched him?”

Bucky slowly nodded after a moment. 

“I probably would have tried to hit him, too. Not sure if Nat told you, but I tend to lead with emotion. Act first, question later.”

He grunted in response, giving you what you assumed was his grumpy glare.

Welp, it was fun being your friend while it lasted, Nat.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t hit him. Because he would have won and guys like him don’t deserve to win,” you said, touching his right arm before you quickly dropped your hand. He didn’t ask you to put your hands on him. “I’m sorry. I talk too much and you didn’t ask for my opinion.”

“Who said you talk too much?” he questioned, stepping forward when you stepped back. 

“I just did,” you answered.

“Well, you don’t,” he said quietly.

“I don’t?” you asked in disbelief.

He shook his head, his eyes warmer than you expected as he looked at you. “No. You tell it like it is. You should hear Steve when he goes off on his tangents. Punk acts like he’s doing me a favor whenever he does.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised as you smoothed out the non-existent wrinkle from your skirt. His eyes followed the movement, though he tried to be discreet. “Most guys would’ve told me to ‘fuck off’ after that.”

“Show me where those guys are so I can teach them a lesson,” he said seriously.

A knight in shining motocross gear armor.

“No need for that,” you smiled, feeling better now that you knew he wasn’t offended by what you said. “But I appreciate the offer.”

He moved forward another step and you instinctively leaned in closer. Something crackled in the air between the two of you. You wondered if he felt it, too, or if you simply imagined it. “Thank you for defending me and for the unsolicited advice. I shouldn’t have let him get to me.”

He smells really good. Like a woody citrus. Who smells that good before a race? “You’re welcome. Thank you for not telling me to ‘fuck off’.”

You both laughed, that electric current flowing through you again. “So you think he was just trying to get under my skin, huh?”

“I could be wrong, but I think so. And I don’t want to see you lose to a guy like that.”

Bucky looked over your shoulder, the warmth disappearing from his eyes. “I won’t lose.”

You turned your head to follow his gaze. Maddox was by his trailer a short distance away, but his eyes were on the two of you. Maybe he really was threatened by him.

Bucky gently took your wrist to turn you back toward him. "Rumlow keeps checking you out. He wants you," he stated. 

"Is that a problem?" you asked, glancing over at Maddox again. He smirked in response when he made eye contact. You had no intention of doing anything with him, but wondered if Bucky cared because of his own self interest or yours.

“You acting uninterested will make him want you more. He likes a challenge.”

"Doesn't surprise me," you said. Some people liked to go after what they couldn't have.

"He's good. I'm better."

You heard the complete confidence in Bucky's voice and you believed him. "I guess I’ll see for myself," you teased.

"Kiss me."

You studied Bucky for a moment as you faced him again, waiting for him to say he was joking. He didn't. “Say that again?"

"Kiss me," he repeated slower, somehow making it sound like a suggestion and not an order.

"Kiss you? You just met me.”

“And I still wanna kiss you.”

Your gaze went to his mouth. The offer was tempting, but you knew if you felt his lips against yours that you would want more. "Why? For good luck?"

"Yeah,” he answered, his lips shifting into a devilish smirk that made you clench. “And to piss him off. Maybe I want to get under his skin, too.”

You bristled at how casually he said that, even with the heat flowing through your body. “I'm not a pawn or chew toy for you dogs to play with."

He laughed, tugging you close. All the anger you saw from him a short time ago was gone, which quelched your anger, too. "Lucky for you, I play for keeps. Also not big on sharing."

"Sounds like a you problem," you retorted, but didn't step away. “But if you really want to piss him off, I have another pair of lips you can kiss instead."

His eyes lit up as he leaned in close, his lips an inch from yours. "You offering?"

Your stomach flipped as he placed his other hand on the nape of your neck. "You accepting?"

Natasha cleared her throat as she appeared beside you, almost making you step back. She invited you to watch the race with her and implied that she wanted you to have a good time, but she shouldn’t have to watch you flirt with her friend. "You two can finish this later. You have a race to get ready for, Barnes."

"Good luck," you said with gentle sincerity.

Bucky closed the gap between you and pressed his lips against yours. They were softer than you expected, a complete contrast to his hard, muscular frame. Instead of pushing him back, you molded your body against his. The kiss only lasted another second before he pulled his mouth away. You exhaled, wishing you had parted your lips to let him explore. Judging from the flash of want in his eyes as he stared, the small kiss got to him, too.

"Barnes? Barnes!" Natasha said, snapping you both out of whatever spell you were under.

Bucky cleared his throat as he took a step back. "Just gave me all the luck I need," he grinned, licking his lips. "Mmm. Is that cherry? I like it."

You wanted to smack the smug expression off his face and kiss him again. How the fuck can a brief kiss leave me aching? "Sweeter than any pie you've ever had."

"I believe it. Hope I get another taste," he winked as he grabbed his helmet. You hoped he didn't see you shiver at the implication. 

“C’mon, let’s go,” Steve said, but there was a smile on his face and Sam’s as well.

"Hey, Rumlow!" Bucky yelled.

Maddox glared over at him, no doubt having seen the kiss. "What, Barnes?"

"Winner gets a date with her," he declared, pointing at you.

Oh, fuck no. "Excuse me?"

"You're on," Maddox called back. It was like they didn't hear you or simply didn't care.

"Bucky, what the fuck did I say about not being a toy?" you snapped as Nat grabbed your arm. It was a good thing she had a strong grip because now you felt a bit volatile. 

“Consider it a payment for the unsolicited advice,” he simpered at your slack-jawed expression.

"You can't bet a date with me." 

“But you’re the grand prize. And I told you, I play for keeps,” he said, slipping his helmet on as Steve yanked him back by his right arm. You could see Sam trying not to laugh.

Yeah, you better put your helmet on so I don't throw something at your ridiculously handsome face.

“I’m not a fucking prize!”

"Sorry, doll!" he said, gesturing to his covered ear. "Can't hear you with my helmet on."

“Nat, tell him!”

“After all that? And after I saw you check out his ass?" she smirked. 

Of course, she saw that. How does she see everything?

"You were checking out my ass?" you heard the smile in Bucky's voice as heat rose to your cheeks. “It’s all yours after I win.”

You were torn between flattery and something you couldn’t even pinpoint. "Thought you couldn't hear anything," you gritted, hearing his chuckle as the redhead pulled you away. 

“Can’t wait for our date!”

Your heart nearly stopped as you looked back. His helmet shielded his face, but you could still feel his eyes on you. “In your dreams, Hothead!”

“You’ll be in my dreams tonight! And you know that isn't my nickname. It's actually-

"It's Hothead."

"Whatever you say. Spitfire."

“I hope she knocks your ass in the dirt,” Sam laughed.

You chortled as Nat continued to drag you away. “What the hell just happened?"

"I think you have a date.”

"I don't have a date yet," you huffed. "Unbelievable."

"Which part?" she asked deadpan. “The fact that he already likes you, that you like him, or that you two kissed?”

Some of your anger faded as guilt crept in again. Bucky was her friend and you shouldn’t have let him kiss you. "Nat, I’m sorry. If I made you uncomfortable-"

"Woah," she held a hand up to stop you. "Not uncomfortable with you two flirting. You're adults. Plus, I've seen much worse from some of these guys."

"But he's your friend."

"You're my friend, too, and a huge step up the girls that normally flock to him. And you managed to calm him down, which is impressive."

"So, if I made a move or he made a move on me, you would be totally fine with that?" you didn't hide your suspicion.

"He already made a move," she threw a glance over her shoulder before looking ahead again. “I’m totally fine with it.”

You thought back to the conversation in the car, how she hinted at wanting you to meet her friends and get laid. “Wait. You wanted this to happen.”

“Wanted what to happen?” she asked. 

You were tempted to grab and shake her. “You know what! You were trying to set me up without setting me up.”

Her stare was impassive as she looked at you again. She had a good poker face. "To be perfectly honest, I was hoping for the two of you to hit it off,” she admitted, clearing her throat. “I may have overheard him tell Rogers that he was interested in meeting you after I told them about you. He hasn't dated in a while, so him showing even a hint of interest was a good thing."

A rush of air left your lungs as you stopped walking. Part of you took what you heard as a compliment. "That’s why you told me not to take it personally if he was moody. You wanted me to like him. Nat, why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because I didn’t want you to feel pressured to come for that reason and didn’t want you to feel awkward if you didn’t like him. I wanted it to just happen. And if it didn’t, no big deal. You would’ve been none the wiser.”

Calculated. Deliberate. “I feel a bit hustled.”

The redhead pursed her lips. “I get why you feel that way, but don’t hold that against him. I haven’t seen him let his guard down so quickly for anyone.”

“How did he let his guard down?"

“He actually listened and talked to you. He flirted with you. That’s not something he does with everyone,” she swore. “Plus you defended him in a way that didn’t make him look weak by shifting the focus back to Rumlow.”

You wanted to believe her. You liked that he took you by surprise. And you really liked his brief kiss. He took a risk and, you had to admit to yourself, it paid off because you couldn't stop thinking about it. “I just don’t want to be a prop for him to beat Maddox.”

“Barnes may have said that to piss him off, but the chance of getting a date with you is extra motivation for him to win. So if the only reason you’re upset is because you want it to be a real date, believe me when I say it would be.”

“You actually think I’ll honor that if he wins?” 

“Yeah, I do,” she said. "That guy you want who talks back? Pushes, but lets you be vulnerable, too? That could be him. And how will you know if you don't try?"

Why does she have to be right about that? 

In the very short time you knew Bucky, you felt excited, aroused, out of sorts and more. It felt like whiplash without the pain. You wanted to know what else he could bring out of you. And the racer seemed to want to know you, at least a little. What did you have to lose?

“I want him to win,” you said in defeat, chewing on your lower lip. “I really want him to win.”

“He will,” Nat’s voice was soft, but firm.

Don’t let me down, Bucky Barnes.

*****

So, what do we think? I can't wait to share more of these two. Love and thanks for reading!

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month (and year!) so here we go!

I'll tag an Open Question Night onto this, too--anything I've posted about here or on AO3 is fair game! I do take prompts but am not necessarily quick to fill them lol.

A little different than the others, since it's January and that means Resolutions of a sort, lol. But first, a quick regular post:

BSG Fic:

Didn't write or post any, but I did podfic for a few Galactica Big Bang/Mini Bang fics, and that was a lot of fun! I had a great time running the event, and am looking forward to doing it again next year (and maybe writing for it as well lol).

If I do write, the two ideas that are foremost in my brain right now (that would work for the event; as opposed to crossovers and/or projects that are Way beyond the scope of an event like this) are:

The Blood of Angry Men Zarek character study in the form of him looking back on his life as he faces his execution after the mutiny. Partly about the question of where does he land on the spectrum of actually believing his rhetoric vs. using it/the way people believe in him to achieve power; partly about this really great quote of his from Kobol along the lines of "it's a lot harder to get blood on your hands than to wash it off later"; partly about his relationships with his inner circle/followers (there would be some stuff about before he went to prison; about Gaeta; about the friend of his who died on Kobol whose name escapes me).

Percussive Maintenance Joke title that would Not remain lol. But yeah this is basically...so, that bit in Downloaded, where Sam is trapped in the exploded parking garage with Boomer, Caprica, and Three insert tangent about 'are there one, two, or three significant Threes it is Unclear' and he gets knocked out like three times? What if. What if all those concussions. What if they unlocked his memories. Probably building up to where he is before he has to be hybridized if not there initially but. What If. (The problem with this one is it miiiiiight also be out of scope, also there's the moment he wakes up and then going back to the school and having a Chat with Philosopher!Cavil and then...not sure where to go from there.)

I also really genuinely do want to get TOB off the ground this year (I know I keep saying that but). And maybe one of the crossover ideas I have floating around in my head, but We'll See. Hopefully I'll have Something out this month (but I'm also waffling a little on How I want to start it--I think it probably makes the most sense to just go in show order and bounce back and forth between the Pegasus and Galactica plotlines once I get all the miniseries setup out of the way there is so much setup omg but every so often I ask myself 'but do I really want to do that? XD)

Also, since I Obviously fell way behind and didn't finish the Year of the OTP project, I'll pick that up and do the rest this year XD

Star Wars fic:

Going back and forth about participating in SWBB this year. I need to actually get on that because deadline for signups is on the 10th, lol. If I do participate it would be the one I planned to do last year (Anakin never joined the Order and meets Ahsoka halfway through the Clone Wars) but never got off the ground.

Note about OTP fills applies here as well, lol.

Also hoping to finally dive back into Precipice this year, so fingers crossed lol.

Other Fandoms (mostly Les Mis, LBR):

I do plan on doing Pod_Together again later in the year because I generally have fun doing it! Will probably adjust my fandoms list though because I keep getting matched on secondary/tertiary fandoms and while stretching myself to write for them is fun, I'd like to do something a little less Stretchy this year if possible, haha.

And I will be updating P&J, I promise XD I know where it's going, and I know what Ari is going to learn, though the specific order/circumstances in which the information comes out I'm still sorting out exactly when and how. (I think there are going to be some Previously Unpublished Letters when Ari gets to the Marseille exhibit about Thierry that give a Name to J, but I'm not sure if Ari's going to go there first or go to Dover or Paris first. And then Calais which is Relevant and Important). Goal is to get At Least one more chapter out this month.

Provenance will come when I finish that--it fills in the gaps Ari can't because Certain People decided to Burn All Their Correspondence, lol.

And then I'm also working on Acheron which is a Groundhog Day AU that I'm excited for. May or may not be other things coming in this fandom, we'll see XD

I do also want to get back to Incinctus and/or other Castlevania ideas I had. May be rewatching that series and/or finally watching Nocturne to jumpstart my brain? So maybe that'll happen this month but it's definitely a lower priority than the other things.

Original Fic:

I think I had a fairly good year where this is concerned? Year of the OTP plus a series of anniversary challenges on Rainbowfic got me to put out a fair amount! Hopefully next year will also be good (I do still have to finish the Year of the OTP for the three ships I was doing here as well, lol.)

...yep, that pretty much sums it up!

So, on to Resolutions! So to speak.

2023 goals:

Post at least arc 8 (and ideally also part 9) in Precipice!Verse as well as at least half of the Preludes stories. ....nope. XD

Write at least 10k of origfic content. Nearly doubled my goal with about 18.7k words!

Complete SWBB and participate in at least one other challenge/exchange Half-completed--I ended up dropping out as a writer from SWBB, but I did Pod_Together and also Ran GBB so XD

Continue posting Incinctus and start posting The Other Battlestar and at least one other non-challenge fic project. Well, I didn't do Incinctus or TOB, but I did do other non-challenge fic projects? Lol XD

Write at least one holiday fic (Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween, New Year’s, Etc.) and post on the appropriate day I actually did do this!

Bonus Goal: Update the origfic archives already. Bonus Goal #2: I have at least one half-finished AU outline I should actually finish and post that. And maybe update the Ventress and Luke time-travel one Yeaaaah neither of these got done, either XD

2024 Goals:

[basically repeating myself, NGL XD]

Get back into Precipice; post at least three chapters of Protectors and at least one Preludes one-shot.

Write at least 10k of origfic content.

Participate in at least two challenges/exchanges.

Start posting The Other Battlestar; complete P&J; and start or post at least one other non-challenge fic project.

Complete the Year of the OTP fills.

Bonus Goal: Write at least one holiday fic (Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, New Year's, etc.) and post on the appropriate day Bonus Goal #2: Update origfic archives Bonus Goal #3: Post at least one AU Outline.

[bblookyyy]

i’ve decided to come out as fucking delusional. i dont care if a certain character is ooc if the character is my blorbo and them doing ooc shit makes me happy!! but like, ooc in a good way. not like, completely misinterpreting a character ooc, and rather more… actually, i might expand on that bc im not sure about why i enjoy certain kinds of ooc and not others.

like. ooc-ness that ticks me off would be people making bakugo a tsundere. no dude, he was a bully and that damage he did will not be undone. he IS getting better and you making bakugo actually did care about deku and didnt mean all that bullying is undermining all the progress he made from hating on deku because of his own insecurity issues to accepting deku’s power and status as his equal, possibly even more.

ooc-ness that i DO like would be like. um. giving tropes to characters + circumstances that would explain their canon behaviour. like vigilante deku AUs where deku is dead inside but puts on a front that would explain his canon perosnality but also matches his motivations. or traitor kaminari AU where his volt limit is fake and everything about him is to make people underestimate him. or like, making aph italy a fucking badass??? bruh it’s the gap moe. his boundless positivity has to mean a strong mind and his whole whiny crying thing would serve most beautifully to doing a 180 and surprising people with an ooc ruthless attitude.

though in the case of eridan it might be more like… shinichi from meitantei conan is canonically fucking arrogant and all ego yeah?? and yet in dcmk fanfiction he’s quiet and shy because of his time spent as conan and trying to blend into the background to avoid being killed by the BO, which makes for a lovely kaishin dynamic. kaito is the loud one and shinichi is the cute blushy one. wait YEAH!! it’s the trope where usually stoic people blush?? or express emotions they usually don’t. WAIT THAT’S IT

GAP MOE IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING

OOC IS ONLY ACCEPTABLE IF IT’S GAP MOE

anyways. eridan would rock korean fashion. but only unintentionally - if he knew he did, he’d 100% try to pull some kdrama male lead moves on anyone who looks slightly in his direction with anything that’s not murderous intent. and then proceed to immediately shatter the image they had of him.

here’s an alternate version that I think I like more

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

sleepy tired vs not wanting to fast travel to tomorrow: fight

[seveneyesoup]

microdosing on being an avatar of the spiral by forcing people to listen to the mouth albums

[angel-archivist]

No One: *breathes* Your Tags: *just don’t show up for me* but ooo I love Orion, just trying to vibe, definitely feel that one. does Orion have any particular backstory or anything that just makes Orion stand out to you?

When he was little he used to be scared of this old radio his grandfather had. It would sit in the corner of his grandfathers garage untouched and covered with dust. His grandfather used to be work on a radio show back in the *waves my hand* olden days and despite his fond memories of working there he couldn't bare to have the radio in the house, but couldn't bare to get rid of it either. His grandfathers house was near a forest since they had lived in connecticut for awhile and before the time of his grandads death he lived in the same house. His granddad had put it in its head that it was powerful. Orion was always just super into the supernatural but at a point when he got to college realized that, it probably wasn't real. He got an english degree and was all set to start teaching at a local high school when his granddad died, he went to his funeral (he loved his grandfather so he put up with seeing his mom) and then helped to clean out his house thats when he found out he’d been left the radio. He brought it back to his place and that when the strangeness started, that's when he first heard the station. 

[kaiobeast]

Bruh your tags on my reblogged gif post. Deadass I would cut a bitch for more Wanda/Kurt content. I ALSO DEMAND TO SEE ANIMATED NOCTURNE 😭 who do I have to fight to make this shit happen?

BRUH I HAVE BEEN A KURWANDA FAN SINCE THE DAYS OF EVOLUTION AND THIRSTED FOR MORE SHIP CONTENT FOR LITERALLY DECADES.

It is definitely my oldest and dearest OTP.

They just have?? So much in common??? Both have parental issues stemming from having a psychotic parent, both were ABANDONED by said psycho parent, both have roots in eastern europe, both have ties to the mystic arts, and both have mutations that are feared and extreme even by freaking mutant standards.

They just have a lot of chemistry together idk. They have personalities that balance each other out pretty well, Kurt's outgoing and playful nature balancing against Wanda's more introverted and aloof personality. They're very aesthetic together too, not to mention that they canonically make beautiful babies together lol. I'm still mad that WATXM ended before TJ made an appearance because everyone knows they were building up to it.

Geez, I remember when I used to lurk on Nightscrawlers back in the day looking for Kanda and Kurtty stuff to read (RIP basically a dead forum nowadays). Even tho they don't talk much, I also shipped them pretty hard in Evo too. They had similar feel to the whole Kitty/Lance thing, except Kurt and Wanda would have actually made it interesting because of all the above listed reasons on top of being on opposite sides AND because Evo Wanda was pretty loyal to Mystique, whom Kurt had a lot of complicated feelings about. There could have been a lot of subject matter and drama that could have been milked there.

I'll admit that I haven't picked up the comics in like... uh... a few years haha, so I'm admittedly a little out of touch with what Kurt's been up to lately but I still have a whole drawer full comics that feature Kurt. The Nightcrawler backissue collection from 2004 are still some of my most prized possessions. I really wish they hadn't dropped the idea of Kurt being a sort of supernatural detective (almost like a John Constantine-type character) because that was a really, really cool idea.

Sorry, went on a tangent there lol.

It's been a hot minute since I've really been in the Xmen/Kurt fandom for a while, but man, when it gets brought up I go off like:

[everything-laito]

Might be my longest Laito analysis yet... and it’s about Hilde. Buckle up fellas, this is a ride.

I’m gonna get straight to the point:

who is Hilde? 

For those of you who don’t know, Hilde is a maid that shows up in Laito’s past in his More Blood route. I’m not sure if she pops up in any future games (I’m saving dark fate later this year), so correct me if I’m wrong. (And if she does show up, I will add to this when I have experienced the other scenarios. I know I can read translations but that’s just half of the fun and the game haha) 

Full essay analysis under the cut!

Hilde is not just Laito’s maid. She’s one of his various yet early (I would say she’s his first) “victims,” after his experiences with his mother. This was also during the whole Cordelia situation when she was “giving him her ‘Love’” anyways.

Let’s start off with an excerpt of Laito’s beautiful yet tragic monologue from MB Dark Prologue; which is from a flashback of his. Thanks to @/akuichansera for the translations! (I want to do an entire analysis on this monologue alone but that is for another time!) 

However, it’s cliché Why am I forcing love? This certain feeling calls out to me, Does that mean I’m satisfied? If that’s the case, then that’s very degrading. Only to fall silent when given a kiss. Ahh, because the words were forced out My chest burns. I wonder what this bad feeling could be. Perhaps, should I be Expecting this sort of thing? There’s no medicine that can cure this, I can’t help saying that it’s foolish.

Where this falls in the timeline is mere speculation, but I believe it is a bit after when Laito and Cordelia’s “”“relationship””” was in full swing, once he was out of the dungeon (from HDB). Throughout this whole prologue, Laito feels immensely confused. It’s definitely apparent in his monologue and the tone of his inner thoughts. They’re soft, pretty much apprehensive too; nothing like his excited, flirtatious lilts. 

Initially, I was gonna go off a lot more. I deleted a huge chunk here because I believe it was more than enough to have a separate tangent. So I’m gonna get right to the point: Laito has so maaaaany issues because of Cordelia and his upbringing. I almost went into depth with them and got ahead of myself, but that’s digressing a ton. Anyways. Hilde.

Basically what I was going to explain in depth (and will another time) can be summed up by: 

Cordelia has power over Laito (which is something all abusive relationships have in common)

Laito feels powerless (implied by his tones and his general thinking and monologue)

Laito needs to fill in that power gap (this is why some people who have been victims of abuse end up being the abuser in another relationship) 

Then Hilde just falls into Laito’s lap (more like trap) at just the time he’s feeling that powerlessness. Laito wants to “regain” power, or feel in a powerful position, so he starts to take it out on Hilde. He uses the same techniques that Cordelia uses, but on Hilde; saying that he “loves her.” It’s kinda implied that Hilde was Laito’s first ‘victim’ through this quote when he first meets Hilde: 

Laito: (It’s convenient to say the words I love you. It has a lot of power) Hey, what about you? Do you love me… …?

Hilde: T-this is… …awkward… …

Laito: I see… …Well… …being in the same bed as me… …must feel good to you.

This shows Laito’s hesitance towards this, and the whole scene in his Dark Prologue feels like him experimenting with this whole power complex giving his inner monologue. He’s rationalizing his feelings in his head in these monologues too:

――Since it feels pleasant, does that mean it’s good? The expression of love in this form, Is extremely trivial. These words are full of lies.

He knows he’s lying, he knows the power words hold; Laito’s still very perceptive, he’s just a bit messed up in his noggin. On top of that, there’s even more juicy details about the inner workings of this man in the Dark Epilogue. This is also why I believe that Hilde was Laito’s first ‘victim.’ Mainly because of this line: 

Laito: (… … I don’t like this for some reason) (I can’t get used to “loving” another person’s body)

Laito initially hates what he’s doing. I honestly never expected to read a line confirming that, but they really did. It also further supports my claim of Laito using Hilde as more of an “experiment.” He saw and experienced how happy his mom gets by doing this, he’s seen her do this with Richter and multiple other men too. He wants to feel that too, not because he enjoys it but because he wants to heal himself, whether it’s conscious or subconscious. 

I believe I’ve discussed how much Laito projects onto Yui like Cordelia did to him, and this happens with Hilde too. Here’s another excerpt: 

Laito: (Ahh ahh, how boring… … It’s less fun when she doesn’t resist) Sigh… …

Hilde: Laito-sama?

Laito: That’s enough.

Hilde: Laito-sama!!

Laito: I’m going to bed soon. Will you leave?

Hilde: Gah… …!? We always sleep together though… …why?

Laito: Be quiet… …

Hilde: Eh… …?

Laito: Fufu… …quickly now. If you don’t… … I’ll kick you out.

Hilde: Laito-sama… …Aah!?

*Laito Takes Hilde Out/ Hilde Pounds on Door*

Hilde: Agha… …Laito-sama! Laito-sama!!

This concludes the Dark epilogue. We don’t see any more of Hilde afterwards to my knowledge. Despite her showing up in two scenes, we get so much out of Laito than Yui’s scenarios combined. That’s why she’s so immensely important to Laito’s character. In addition, this also starts Laito’s obsession with ‘liking it when his victims resist’. Since there’s already so much evidence of Laito mimicking Cordelia’s tactics, it can be heavily deducted that Cordelia also liked it when Laito resisted. Which god, that’s so freakin tragic. Adding onto that, Laito gets bored with Hilde once, and then Laito just brushes her aside. This would most likely parallel what Cordelia did to Laito with Richter and other men. It’s sick. It’s twisted. And it’s just like how you would expect Dialovers to be. And that’s why you shouldn’t overlook Hilde’s character. 

I think this might be my longest rant yet, so thanks for sticking out this long if you did. I have more analysis on the #analysis tag on this blog, whether it be from me or other people I reblogged. But thanks for reading! If you have any thoughts you’d like to add, feel free to go in the DMs, ask box, or simply reblog! 

Ciao! -Corn

[theotherwesley]

tagged by @skyeventide! BRO THANK YOU <3

Rules: Choose your favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1) Right at the beginning of 2020 (*can we even count the January-February Era as part of 2020? It feels like a separate timeline lol)  I designed a homebrew D&D campaign around an extended-universe Watership Down world, where all player characters are rabbits. :3 I designed it over the winter and DM’d my first test game with my family! It was so, so fun, and I had high hopes of continuing to playtest it and refine the rules this year.... ah, the best laid schemes o’ Buns and Men gang aft agley. U_U

Some samples: 

2) I got a truly awesome commission from a client on FR to do some stained glass window designs for their D&D campaign’s pantheon of gods. I got 4/6 done with them before my computer staged a revolution amongst our household electronics and went into a coma, taking BF’s laptop, a backup disk, and for some reason the toaster, with it. Then after that, the 2020 vibe got really uhhhhhh, shall we say, intense, and even after I found solution for my computer trouble I basically had zero creative fluid in the tank, so this was the last serious art I did for most of the year. :(

 But! I do really like these pieces, and I will eventually get to the remaining two...... sometime. I don’t want to jinx it. >>;

3) Got into a SUPER JUICY and EXTREMELY DENSE long-form RP with @salmaganto​ over on the Tolkien Blog. It involves so much research into historical and logistical minutiae about running a Big Evil Fortress, surviving sieges, uh... managing thrall labor, transitioning between war and peace... It is absolutely my favorite shit lol, just,,, 100% gratuitous worldbuilding nonsense, with my favorite micro-rarepair ship (or rather, its platonic counterpart). Again, this level of creative output, especially dealing with some controversial topics and in-depth analysis of like, authoritarian regimes, lost a looooooooooootttttttt of its um, escapist appeal. I desperately want to pick it back up, but man, this year was a lot, and I’m still recovering.  _( :’| 」∠)＿ We’re all still recovering.

4) Did some nerdy fanart for two of my favorite actual-play shows:

5) Attended a Zoom life-drawing session hosted in Perth, and it was a blast! 

6) Okay so this is a weird one, but, I edited a font??? I’m disproportionately pleased with this niche accomplishment. I had ZERO working knowledge of font design programs, and I went with a free, super nuts-and-bolts shareware application, taught myself how to use the basic functions, and then muddled my way through editing one of my favorite fonts, HamletOrNot:

“Well, this font isn't really Blackletter, but it has a certain historical touch, so it is welcome on these pages. The typeface Hamlet was designed by Edward Johnston for a Shakespeare edition, Cranach Press, 1929. The award winning book Hamlet was considered “the most beautiful book of the year 1930”. HamletOrNot – digitized by Manfred Klein & CybaPee.“ 

If you hunt down the mysterious user “CybaPee”, you find typographer Petra Heidorn and her many, many preserved, historical fonts, which have been painstakingly digitized and made available for free on... well, pretty much every free font website ever, which made it a real pain to source. 

I love this font with my whole heart, and I very much wanted to use it for parts of my comic (you know, the one) but HamletOrNot has a couple of readability failings that made it a bad match for small dialogue, and worse for ME, SPECIFICALLY: it does not include most diacritic marks.  *cries in Tôlkíën* 

So I embarked on this fool’s quest to do some touchups and add the diacritics and special characters I’d need to spell all the crazy bullshit for the comic, because HOW HARD COULD IT BE, HAHA, TO ADD A FEW MARKS AND CLEAN UP A FEW TANGENTS?  HAHAHA. HAHA. .....Anyway, I think I actually started this process sometime in like, 2019, but I FINISHED IT IN 2020, and I’m proud of myself. 

I’m calling the modified font ArdaOrNot, and it looks something like this: 

7)  Oh yeah, about that comic (you know, the one): 

‘Ey, would you look at that! Progress! :D  Slow, agonizing, unoptimized progress! I was hoping I’d have the first six full color pages ready with lettering and everything by the end of 2020, but.... well, here we are. Wow, I am SO TIRED OF BEING SICK, I HAVE THINGS I WANT TO DO SO BAD HAHAHAA FUCK 

8) Another minor accomplishment that I’m disproportionately proud of, I made some new baller playlists and polished up a few old ones to a fine gleam.

Anyway-- I don’t know who has and hasn’t been tagged, but consider this an invitation to anyone who has the energy to post your highlights from the last year. It was actually pretty therapeutic to see some things I DID manage to accomplish, because so much of this damn year felt empty and lonely and barren. But there they stand: the weird little triumphs that were sprinkled throughout the months, somehow improbably blooming in the wasteland. :’)

[thekillerssluts]

DIY Magazine, October 2020.

Interview TALKING ‘BOUT MY GENERATION: WILL BUTLER

Talking to Will Butler is a bit like trying to have a conversation with a human magpie. Hugely enthusiastic and with a constant giggle on the go (“I have a nervous laugh, so I laugh at more things than I should…”), the 37-year-old has a tendency to veer off down strange tangents, taking your original point but then getting distracted or excited by some other new, shiny train of thought in a different direction.

You can tell he’s smart - not just booksmart, but the kind of smart where you can practically see the cogs turning at 100mph. “I love knowledge for its own sake,” he professes at one point. “I believe in it to a fault. I think it’s worth knowing all this shit, for no other reason than just knowing that it’s true.” And it’s this attitude that’s filled the three years since ‘Everything Now’ - he and his Arcade Fire bandmates’ society-skewering fifth LP.

In that time, amid world tours and festival headlines, Will has had two more children - twins - and went to Harvard to study a masters in public policy. He also found time to record ‘Generations’ - a second solo effort that takes the brilliantly all-over-the-place nature of 2015’s ‘Policy’ and hones it into something that’s more pointed, though still clearly fuelled by the same curious mind. Or as he puts it: “The first [album] it’s like, ‘I’m at the market! There’s some eggplants! Oh there’s a nice sausage guy! And OK cool I’ll get some of those and these!’ But then ‘Generations’ was much more like, ‘I’ve been storing these bones in my freezer for two years and now we’re gonna boil this down to make the pure essence of the beast’.”

Like most debuts from artists splintering off from their main projects, ‘Policy’ had been born from accumulating a collection of material that didn’t fit with his band. Unlike most, Will had just been nominated for an Oscar (for his soundtrack to Joaquin Phoenix film Her) before its release, “so that was a confidence boost,” he notes amiably. Conversely, the essence of ‘Generations’’ particular beast seems a far more targeted one - one intrinsically linked with the intense political conversations the musician had found himself wrangling with during his recent studies.

“I always want whatever I’m making to emerge out of what I’m living and for it to help me understand how I’m living better, so going to policy school was certainly part of that artistic project as well as the ‘what do we fucking do?’ project,” he explains. “I jokingly say that I was radicalised at Harvard, which is basically true. I was in a mid-career programme, so there were 25-year-old geniuses but also people in their middle age who’d worked in the UN in Pakistan or the government in Mexico. They had this whole perspective of how fucked everything is across the whole globe so it was… educational.

As such, his second brims with a sense of palpable unease for a society that’s not only crumbling before our eyes right now, but has been doing so intermittently for decades and centuries. The twinkling, finger-clicking patter of ‘Close My Eyes’ belies the all-too-timely despair beneath it (“The photograph is new / But I seen that same headline, and I got to dance to keep from crying”), Randy Newman-esque closer ‘Fine’ digs right back to “George Washington and all his slaves,” while ‘Not Gonna Die’, he explains, was written in direct response to the November 2015 Bataclan shootings.“All these things hit different people in different ways, but that was so close to home,” he says. “It was Christmas after that and I was shopping in Manhattan; I walked into Sephora and it was super crowded and I thought, there’s a lot of people in here, where would I go [if something like that happened]? And I got so mad. It fucking worked. You made me scared. I’m not gonna die in Sephora on 5th Avenue but you made me think about it, you fucking pieces of shit.“Mike Pence was writing about it before he was running for Vice President, like, ‘We need to make sure we don’t have any immigrants come in because the immigrants can do this to us here’. And it’s like, I’m not gonna be killed by a woman fleeing violence in Guatemala!! The terrorists and the people saying ‘Be afraid!’: what you’re doing is working, and I AM afraid, and fuck you.”

Perhaps most interestingly, however, ‘Generations’ doesn’t just point the finger outwards, it also poses questions of the singer’s own inherent part in it all. “A big chunk of this record is asking: What’s my place in American history? What’s my place in America’s present?” he explained in a previous statement about the album. “Both in general, but also extremely particularly: me as Will Butler, rich person, white person, Mormon, Yankee, parent, musician. What do I do? What can I do?”

“It’s basically like, ‘My God, how did we get here?’ - that Talking Heads line,” he continues now. “The record is at times literally a conversation with people arguing back and forth, and there’s a lot of questions raised and the answers aren’t answers - you just end the conversation in a different spot. There’s something to that process of discussing and coming to some sort of revelation only to find out what’s lacking there, and then you move onto the next conversation and find out what’s lacking there. I was pleased that the material felt cyclical and of a piece, and you feel like you’re in a different spot than you were at the beginning.”

Because yes, his latest might not provide all the answers - “This is a musical work and I don’t know what the end notes are,” he admits - but ‘Generations’ does emphasise the importance of asking the questions and having the conversations, both with the world and with yourself. And if you can have them over an album of musically explorative, rich and often perversely funny new offerings? All the better.

Next, he’ll return to the fold to begin work on Arcade Fire’s sixth opus. Writing for that had originally started in New Orleans before the pandemic hit, but the band “don’t have the file management down to really do it at a distance,” he chuckles. “Win and Régine are always demoing and working, and I’ve done a little. We always work on a record for about a year and a half and we’re not off that pace yet, we’re still weirdly on track…”

You can bet by the time that record lands, he’ll have chalked up a handful of other accomplishments to his name, too; lord only knows the political battleground of the coming weeks will give him enough food for thought. And in the inquisitive mind of Will Butler, thought and curiosity are clearly the most nourishing tools of all. “You can write a love song that’s super true, but can you write a history song that also is? And if it comes out right and there’s some value in it, then what does that mean?” he muses. “It’s about just trying different angles to express something true.”

‘Generations’ is out now via Merge.

Butler’s Bits

‘Generations’ is undoubtedly an album rooted in politics and society - this much we know. But it’s also a record that digs into the musician’s relationship with other parts of the human experience…

HUMOUR “It’s a coping mechanism and it’s also a worldview. There’s not exactly a cabaret scene in New York but the comedy here is quite musical and there’s a lot of comedians that interact with people in interesting ways. They’re a bit younger than me - I’m the oldest millennial - but there’s something in that spirit that feels relevant.”

RELIGION “I grew up Mormon and I’m still ethnically Mormon. It’s like The Smiths song, ‘Meet Me At The Cemetery Gates’ - ‘Keats and Yeats are on your side, and Wilde is on mine’, you lose, haha. I’m sure Yeats is such a fucking asshole but that’s my heritage. The classic lineage of the Western canon is how I grew up.”

ADULTHOOD “I have three kids now, and it doesn’t make me worry about the future so much as it’s made me learn so much about humanity watching them - watching how it all goes into the ‘this is what humans are’ mill. On ‘Policy’, the protagonists are a motley crew of rag-tag whatevers, whereas this is much more a coming of age novel - not like a teenager becoming an adult, but an adult becoming a worse adult…”

As featured in the October 2020 issue of DIY, out now.

[snarkwrites]

03 | upside down ; steve harrington

NOTES:

So, uh.. did I mention this is not even remotely close to a slow burn? Because surprise it's not. I wanted it to be one so so so bad too. But it'll be okay, I'll live. Maybe next time, lmaooo. Anyway, as I said in the notes on chapter 2, parts one, two, this one and maaaybe four, I haven't written it just yet so Idk how it'll go tbh, are potentially set BEFORE the series starts.

Summary:

She moves back to Hawkins and manages to turn his life completely upside down. In the best of ways.

But how will everything play out between them? Also, can they handle all the weirdness ahead? We shall see.

Warnings:

LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE AT BEST, TOTAL DEVIATION AT WORST - this is just an up front catch all because sometimes, things happen that I don’t particularly care for (the senseless death of Barb, anybody?) and if you’re one of those canon only people, this is here to warn you that this is not the fic for you. LANGUAGE, OCCASIONAL GORE, MONSTERS / FANTASY ELEMENTS, TEENAGE DRAMA AND SHENANIGANS - Obviously, teenagers are going to do stuff. They’re at that point in their life where not every decision they make is the best one. So if you’d rather skip over this kind of thing (teen drinking, fighting, etc) then yeah.. you’ve been warned. THIS IS NOT A SLOW BURN, I REPEAT NOT SLOW AT ALL / EVENTUAL FILTHY GOOD NESS - because lets be real.. we’re all wondering when we’re gonna drop the plot and get to the good stuff. When this chapter occurs, I will flair it with an M. In the meantime, if you’re not into slow burn or mutual pining, then you’re probably not going to care about this.

Other Parts

[ SOUNDTRACK | PART ONE | PART TWO]

Other Stuff

[ FAQ - TAG LIST DOC ]

Tagging:

There’s nobody on my list yet but… If you wanna be tagged for this, tell me pls. It will make me overjoyed.

Throwing out a no pressure tag to @RAMPAGEWRITING​ and @TWISTNET​ as well as @CHASINGEVERYBREAKINGWAVE​ just because. No pressure though bbies!

THREE.

“You can’t be serious. Her mother was the town tramp. And from what I’ve seen of her and the way she dresses, she’s on the fast track to follow in those footsteps.” Carol’s statement and her voice annoyed Steve.

He rolled his eyes. Shrugging.

“I’m serious. Did you think I was asking your permission?” Steve raised a brow at Carol and laughed. “Because if you did, you were wrong. I do what I want.”

Carol grimaced and grumbled that she was absolutely not going to be nice to Jennifer Brown just because Steve wanted to put his dick inside her.

Tommy smirked, leaning in while Carol was on her little tangent to mutter into his ear, “Lucky bastard.”

Steve chuckled, nodding in agreement with Tommy.

Brown eyes scanned the crowd, searching for any sign of Jennie. He spotted her wandering the midway, one of those giant cotton candy sticks in her hand, sandwiched between Barb and Nancy, the three of them laughing. All he could do was stare at her. Smile to himself at the way she threw her head back to laugh. Follow the sway of her hips like his eyes had magnets attached.

Carol spotted her too and pretended to gag. “Does she not have a grasp of the concept of clothing, Steve?”

“Carol, do you ever stop and think that maybe everyone doesn’t want your crappy opinion?” Steve quipped, rolling his eyes at her. Tommy mouthed an apology.

Steve shrugged it off, telling them he’d meet up with them later if he felt like it and didn’t forget. Then he wandered over, falling into line behind Jennie. Wrapping his arms around her waist and snickering when she whirled around, eyes full of fire and ready to explode because she thought it was some random playing grab ass.

Steve raised his hands, chuckling. Biting his lip as he gazed down at her and the way she lazily swatted at his chest. “Easy, Jennie. It’s just me.”

“You can’t just do that! I thought you were that asshole who wouldn’t leave us alone over by the spinning tea cups.” Jennie took a sip of her drink, blowing bubbles into the straw. She held it up to Steve and he took it, taking a sip or two. “Are we still on for tonight?”

She nodded, smiling up at him. “Nancy, Barb and I just wanted to come together early. A girl thing.” she explained.

Steve wanted to swear to himself when he heard Tommy clear his throat from nearby. With Carol in tow, of course. Tommy nodded to Jennie and smirked at Steve as he gave Jennie a playful wink. “Aren’t you gonna introduce your girl to your best friend, man? He has no manners. My name is Tommy.”

Carol rolled her eyes and grumbled about Tommy being a flirt right in front of her and as per usual, her complaints went in one ear and right out the other.

Jennie eyed Tommy with a raised brow, shaking her head. Glancing at Steve who chuckled. “She knows who you are, dumbass. She lived here for a while, remember?”

Carol was giving Jennie a frosty glare. From beside Jennie, Nancy and Barb nudged each other, whispering, watching the two.

“I know I haven’t forgotten her.” Carol spoke up.

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten you either.” Jennie responded, tensing up. Folding her arms over her chest as she glanced at Carol with thinly veiled disinterest.

“Okay, no fights. Carol, come on.” Tommy spoke up, letting his gaze linger on Jennie just long enough that Steve tensed a little, gave him an annoyed look and shoved tightly clenched fists into the pockets of his jeans.

Tommy and Carol wandered off and Steve chuckled. Pulling his hand out of his pocket, dragging it through his hair. “I’ll come pick you up at 8.”

He stepped closer, curious as to whether she’d be open to him kissing her in front of her friends. Because things were kind of shaky. They really hadn’t gotten to talk about last night quite yet.

Jennie surprised him because she stepped closer too. Hooking her fingers in the belt loops of his jeans. Closing the distance between them when she did so. He chuckled. Leaning down a little, his arms slipping around her as his crashed his mouth against her mouth. Grinning into the kiss as the taste of her watermelon shaved ice filled his mouth. He deepened the kiss and as it pulled away so they could both catch their breath, he joked with Nancy and Barb, “Don’t let her get into too much trouble, yeah?”

“Oh haha sir. If memory serves, you got involved in just as much as me when we were kids.” Jennie teased, raising up on her feet to fluff his hair and turn up the collar of his polo shirt. She pouted as she stepped away and as she walked off with Nancy and Barbara, Steve leaned against the wooden post nearby and watched her walking. Fanning himself and smiling like an idiot.

Once he knew no one was watching, he jumped up and down, pumping his fist in the air in victory.

XXX

“Shit, shit.” I stomped my foot, blowing at a curl that refused to go where I wanted it to go. Frowning at the offending strands of hair, I swatted them out of my eyes. From my closet, Nancy called out, “Hey? Think I can borrow this white sundress?”

“Yeah! Go for it.” I called out to her as I tried to get into a steady position to apply my mascara. Nancy stepped out of my closet, holding the dress up to her in the mirror. I smiled and spoke up, “Carol’s still the uptight killjoy, I see.”

“Carol Perkins is a bitch.”

I pretended to be shocked when Nancy said it and Nancy shrugged, blushing a little as she laughed. “It’s the truth though!”

“I think her entire reason for walking over earlier today was just to be rude.”

“Or to be weird and creepy about Steve. She had this huge crush on him last year, I think? Anyway, Steve turned her down from what I heard and that’s why she went for Tommy instead.” Nancy picked up a lipstick from her makeup bag, lightly bumping against me and laughing when I did it back.

“Barb’s meeting us after the movie, right?”

“Mhm. She said Logan was taking her to one of those fancy restaurants over in Rollins before though. Their anniversary.” Nancy smiled and laughed softly. “They’re so cute, I swear.”

“I know. It’s so sweet it kinda makes my teeth hurt.”

“Excuse me? Who was practically draped all over Steve earlier today when we ran into him?”

“I was not draped all over him.” I corrected, blushing a little as I said it because I knew for a fact that yes, I was lying through my teeth. I shrugged.

“Was he kissing you like that last night? Because if so… Wow.” Nancy teased, fanning herself with the issue of Seventeen that sat next to my hairbrush on my vanity.

I blushed even more, biting my lip as I nodded.

“I’ve never seen him get that handsy before.” Nancy mused, stirring the pot a little. I took a deep breath and sat down my lipstick, turning to look at her. Raising my pinkie. “What I’m about to confess to you does NOT leave this room.”

“What?” Nancy’s brow raised as she linked pinkies with me and laughed softly.

“I’m a virgin.” I admitted, shrugging. It wasn’t a big deal either way, I just hadn’t met anyone that particularly sparked my interest in that way for more than a day or two at a time. And I was nothing if not picky. ,, Just admit you never got over your stupid crush and go, sheesh.” the thought came, making me smile. Because it was true. I really hadn’t gotten over my crush.

I think that’s what kind of freaked me out so much about me and Steve if I’m being honest. Knowing that I hadn’t ever gotten over a crush I had on him when we were way too young to really know or understand anything.

“That’s really not a big deal. I mean I am too. So is Barb. Or she was, the last time either of us mentioned anything.” Nancy smiled at me. “It just means we’re selective. Stronger. I don’t know, but I do know it’s not a bad thing at all.”

“Now if a certain short order cook at my nana’s diner were to take you out for a long moonlit drive…” I teased gently, just to watch Nancy blush. She shrugged, but she nodded at the same time. Shushing me as she giggled. “Yeah. But I mean, I am not about to act on that right now…”

“But you’ve thought about it.” I asked.

“And you haven’t?”

“Maaybe?” I answered, laughing a little. “I came close to just getting it over with last year but I came to my senses. I mean, I knew the guy wasn’t the guy if you get my drift. Besides, if he kissed like a Hoover vacuum, I really wasn’t keen on finding out about… Other things. Especially not when I bought myself a buddy.”

Nancy’s brow quirked. I held my fingers to my lips and tiptoed over to my top drawer, pulling it open. Showing her the vibrator I’d gotten myself last year. I mean, she's my friend, I know she's not going to go tell everybody. I'm also not the least bit ashamed of literally anything about myself. Private matters included.

“So you’re not really a virgin?” she asked. I shrugged. “I am as far as doing it with a guy. As far as other things? Nah. So yes and no.”

“I bet your mom flipped out.” Nancy raised her hand, covering her mouth.

“Actually, she took me to buy it. Something about she was too damn young to have me coming home knocked up with not one clue what guy was the lucky donor.”

“Ugh, my mom cringes if I even hint at anything involving a guy. And don’t even get me started about the ongoing battle with my dad about my makeup.”

“Oh, Hank is an actual child when I’m putting on makeup and getting ready to go out. He’ll insist that I wait in the living room and make the guy walk up to the front door. So he can see them.” I smiled to myself. “At least he cares. If it weren’t for him or my Nana, not sure how my life would be and I mean that.”

“Yeah, your mom was something else.”

“Remember that time she came to pick me up in that stupid jumper and the gogo boots? With a flask? On the back of some guy’s motorcycle? Just to walk me home? Then she told our teacher “It’s vodka.”” I cringed at the memory, sighing quietly.

“I hate that it took us so long to even get a little close like we were before the accident.” I muttered after a few seconds and Nancy nodded solemnly.

She happened to see the time on my alarm clock on the nightstand and she swore, hurrying into my bathroom to change clothes. “Crap! Jonathan said he’d be here at 7.”

“Nancy, it’s only 6:30.” I laughed at her rushing around trying to find her shoe as she stepped out of my bathroom and into my room. I spotted her shoe and tossed it to her.

“ Deep breaths. It’s just two people going to a carnival together, woman. Pull yourself together.” I teased gently, placing my hands on her upper arms. She nodded, taking several long and deep breaths. I don’t think they really helped, but.. I tried.

Feel Like Makin Love came on the radio and the both of us devolved into a fit of loud laughter that ended in us collapsed on my daybed.

My nana called up the stairs. “Girls, I think one of your fellas is outside.”

Nancy shot up in the bed, flinging herself off of it, and racing to my window. Jonathan was parked behind my grandma’s Chevelle, pacing beside his Mustang. Almost as if he was psyching himself up too.

I laughed softly, catching Nancy’s gaze. “Aww, he’s as nervous as you are right now.” I peeked out the window again just as he reached into his car, pulling out flowers that he had to have picked himself. When I caught him looking up at the window I stood in, I closed the curtain quickly and giggled.

“Guess who picked you flowers?” I said in a playful tone as I looked at her.

“Oh my god. No shit? He… That means this is a date and I am.. Severely under dressed.” Nancy was starting to worry. Pacing a hole through my carpet.

I shook my head, placing my hands on her upper arms again. Making her look at me. “It’s going to be okay. Relax. You look hot. Now go down there. Don’t make that poor guy suffer the Inquisition, because you know that’s what Hank’s going to put him through.” I held my bedroom door open, giving her a gentle but firm nudge when she froze in the doorway. Throwing the door shut behind her so she couldn’t chicken out and come back into my room.

After a few seconds of jamming out to Madonna, I peeked out of my door to make sure she wasn’t upstairs still, pacing the landing. She wasn’t, so I smiled to myself and shut the door again.

Flopping across my bed and grabbing for the issue of Seventeen that Nancy brought over for all of us to look through when we got back after the carnival tonight.

And almost ten minutes later, my nana was calling up the stairs for me to come down. I sprang off my daybed, pulling on my new red boots. Giving myself one last look in the mirror. Smoothing my hands over the red sundress I’d chosen to wear with the denim jacket my mom wore all the time.

“I’ll be right down.” I called out. Taking a few seconds to calm myself down, because surprisingly enough, I found myself almost as jittery as Nancy had been when Jonathan came to collect her earlier.

I made my way down the stairs just in time. Able to avert a potential crisis in the making as Hank eyed Steve. “What are you doing here, hair?”

“I’m here to pick up Jennie, sir.”

Hank eyed him and then he eyed me. “You hit your head or somethin, Jaybird?”

I bit my lip. Trying not to burst out laughing as I shook my head, I answered, “No, I didn’t. He’s taking me to the carnival tonight if that’s okay? Nana already said I could go…”

Hank eyed Steve warily. Tattooed forearms folded over his chest. Trying to look as threatening as possible. “Remember, hair… You hurt her, there’s nowhere safe for you.”

“Hank, let those two get goin! Get in here and help me eat these brownies.”

Thank God for my nana.

Steve and I hurried outside and he opened the passenger door to his BMW, letting me get in. I sank down into the seat, cringing a little, groaning because I was a little embarrassed. I knew Hank was only doing it with good intent, but still, it was just a little embarrassing sometimes.

Steve burst out laughing when he got into the car. “So that was intense, huh?”

“Just a little. I’m sorry. You know how he is.”

Steve leaned across the console, pulling me in for a kiss. Muttering softly as it broke, “I don’t blame him. I mean earlier today, Tommy just looked at you the wrong way and I wanted to punch him.”

“Yeah, no. Tommy Hagan is not my type. And he never will be.” I shook my head, pretending to be offended that Steve even put both of us in the same sentence. Steve chuckled, winking at me as he started the car and started to back out of the driveway.

“Just out of curiosity, who is your type, Jennie?”

“Ask me again at the end of the night.” I teased, glancing at him as I shrugged.

He laughed and reached out, turning the dial on the radio. We found a station to listen to and Steve reached out for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. Raising my hand to brush his lips against my knuckles.

I squirmed in my seat a little, muttering quietly to myself as he did it. Making him chuckle again as we pulled into a parking space near Tommy’s car. I scowled as soon as I set sights on Carol and she pretended to gag when she saw me sitting in Steve’s passenger seat.

Steve grumbled and shook his head, complaining about Tommy and Carol being pains in the ass as he got out of the car. Pointedly pretending he didn’t see Tommy standing nearby or hear him call his name. Making his way around the car to open my door.

“Just ignore them. Maybe if we ignore them, princess, they’ll disappear.”

“One could only hope.” I answered, giving his hand a squeeze as I gazed up at him and smiled.

We walked right past them, but naturally, Tommy caught up to us. Staring a little too long and too hard at me. I rolled my eyes. And I found myself scrunching into Steve’s side.

“Tommy, hey man. We were just gonna go to the midway.”

“Didn’t you hear me trying to call you, Harrington?” Tommy finally tore his gaze off me to glance at Steve.

Carol was glaring daggers at me, I could feel it. I didn’t have to look over at her.

“Tommy, can we like.. Go now? I don’t want to stick around the tramp too long.”

I leaned in, hissing at her a little. Laughing when she shrank away and cringed before making a hasty retreat, practically having to drag Tommy with her when she went.

I called out casually, “It was nice to see you again too, Carol!” and turned to face Steve, finding him nearly doubled over, clutching his sides as he laughed.

“I was about to handle them for you...” he muttered as his laughter died away and he stepped closer to me, a hand lingering at my hip. I scoffed. “Them? Oh trust me. I can handle those two half-wits.”

“And I see that, Jennie. But as your date..” Steve spoke up, chuckling as he smiled at me. I swallowed hard because I wasn’t stupid. I heard him hesitate. I heard him almost refer to himself as my boyfriend. And god help me, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop the warm feeling that took over. Or the way my heart lazily skipped a beat or two.

I gave a soft giggle, reaching for his hand. Lacing my fingers between his as I bounced around on my feet, nodding towards the Zipper and giving him a pleading look. He eyed the ride warily but finally shrugged. “Okay, alright. But I’m telling you, it’s gonna scare you.”

“That’s why you’re here though, right?” I cozied up to him when we stopped walking for a minute.

If I sounded any flirtier… The thought came and I tried to just enjoy the moment and not get too wrapped up in my own worries and fears about letting him too close.

I needed to relax. Stop overthinking everything and just live. My mom was always telling me that before I lost her.

Steve slipped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. “You hungry or anything?”

“I’m fine right now.” I answered, gazing up at him. Raising up to brush my lips against his cheek. Making him laugh quietly. Smile at me and pull me closer as he whispered against my ear, “What was that for, hm?”

“Because I’m glad I said yes and came out with you tonight.” I shrugged as I responded. We wound up in line for the Zipper behind Nancy and Jonathan and giggling, I held a finger to my lips as I glanced over at Steve before reaching out to cover Nancy’s eyes.

She squeaked and Jonathan covered his mouth to keep from laughing about it, shaking his head at me. Mouthing a thank you when Nancy wasn’t looking. I shrugged at him and turned my attention to Nancy.

“You realize that ride is up in the air.”

“I’ll be fine.” Nancy swallowed hard.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re in good hands.”

“Hey, you guys get on with us.”

“I think I’m gonna hurl. Are you sure you wanna get on that thing, Jennie?” Steve spoke up, pressing against me from behind. I glanced up over my shoulder at him and raised a brow. “Are you scared? It’s just a ride. It’ll be fine.”

Nancy eyed Steve and I, giggling as she shook her head. The line moved forward and almost as soon as Nancy and I spotted Barb, we started to yell for her. She came jogging over with a giant of a blond guy in tow.

“Logan, you know Nancy. This is my best friend Jennie. She just moved back from Louisiana. Jennie, this is Logan.” Barb was grinning from ear to ear, all doe eyed and soft giggly voice. I smiled because seeing her so happy made me happy for her. I looked up at Logan, sizing him up. “Hurt my friend, I break your knees. That’s all I’m saying.”

He chuckled, slipping his arms around Barb, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Jennie.”

“Hey, if you get in between Jennie and I, we can get on the ride at the same time.” Nancy spoke up.

Jonathan and Steve nodded. Steve spoke up, addressing Logan. “Didn’t you play basketball for Varsity last year? You were the senior starter, right?”

I locked eyes with Barb, wiggling my brow as I leaned in and whispered, “Ooh la la.. An older guy, huh?”

Barb blushed, teasing right back, “Mhm. Wanna explain why your lipstick is smeared and there’s just the slightest hint of red on Steve Harrington’s mouth while we’re on this topic?”

I stuck my tongue out at her, snuggling against Steve, laughing. It was our turn to get on the ride and we got into a bucket, strapping ourselves in after we’d emptied out our pockets. Steve took a deep breath. “This might not be so bad.” but then the ride took off, flipping over and he screeched “I was wrong, holy fuck I was wrong.” I grabbed hold of his hand and muttered against his ear, “Deep breaths, Steve. It’s okay. It’s just a ride. You have a harness.”

“Woman, this thing is flipping and rolling!” Steve teased, managing to plant a kiss on my forehead as he met my gaze, laughing. Leaning in to whisper against my ear, “You’re the one death gripping my hand though? Are you maybe a little afraid now that you looked down and saw how high up in the air we are?”

“Oh hush.” I pouted, burying my face in his shoulder, screaming and stomping my feet against the cage while squeezing his hand even more. “I thought it’d be okay. Mistakes were made.”

He laughed and let out several shaky breaths as the ride began to descend, finally coming to a full stop at the bottom.

We stumbled off, finding Barb and Logan and Jonathan, holding Nancy’s hair out of the way as she threw up in a garbage bin while rubbing her back.

Steve spoke up, nodding in the direction of the fun house. Grabbing hold of my hand and starting to pull me towards it, laughing. “C’mon guys!”

Barb and Logan shared a look, shrugging. Jogging to catch up. And Nancy and Jonathan finally caught up, falling in line behind us. Cozied up to each other.

I cozied up to Steve and he leaned his chin on my shoulder. “Having fun, Jennie?”

“I am.” I answered quietly, glancing back at him and flashing a soft smile.

XXX

Steve rubbed his hands together and stepped up, taking the sledgehammer. Swinging it as if it weighed nothing, even though the damn thing was so heavy he honestly thought he pulled his shoulder out of place as the sledgehammer made contact with the base of the Strongman attraction and the needle went soaring upward. The lights lit up and Steve leaned the sledgehammer against the side of the machine, pretending to curl his biceps as he turned to Jennie, laughing. Stealing the cotton candy flavored shaved ice she was sipping and taking a sip for himself as he nodded to the wall of prizes. “So, what’ll it be, huh?” he gazed at the wall of prizes too. His eyes settling on the gigantic pink unicorn and fixing on her.

“The pink unicorn.” they said it at the exact same time, bursting into laughter. The barker turned and grabbed the stuffed animal and Steve took it, holding it out to Jennie. “For you, princess.” he teased as she took it, hugging it against her. Then hugging herself against him and asking in a soft laugh, “That didn’t hurt you, did it?”

“Not even a little, babe.”

And he wasn’t stupid, either. He saw the way her pupils blacked out the rest of her eye for just the ghost of a few seconds after he called her babe. Slipping an arm around her, he pressed his mouth against her forehead and muttered quietly, “Where to next?”

Her eyes settled on a bright yellow tent. The sign outside of it proclaimed “Free readings.” and she gave him those big pleading eyes. Eyes that may or may not have gotten him in right over his head on more than one occasion when they were both kids. Eyes he couldn’t turn down.

“It’s going to be fake as hell, but okay. Alright. If you wanna go over there, we will. At least the lines not as long as the one for the Ferris Wheel is.”

“And it’s close to the field, so when the fireworks and the music start, we can go over... “ Jennie smiled, slipping her hand into his. He gave her hand a squeeze after lacing their fingers together.

“Maybe they’ll tell me I’m going to be a billionaire.” Steve teased, making her shrug. “I just wanna see if there’s any truth to whatever they tell me at all…” she trailed off and Steve eyed her, asking quietly, “And? What else?”

“I don’t know… Maybe I was hoping they’d have a message for me from my mom..” Jennie bit her lip, going quiet. Laughing at herself softly. “It’s dumb. I know it won’t be real.”

“Hey. C’mere.” Steve pulled her into a hug, squeezing her a little. As the hug broke, he nodded towards the tent, smirking. “C’mon. Let’s go see what they have to say about our future, huh?”

“Yeah. Let’s.” Jennie smiled up at him, practically dragging him towards the tent. Given that there wasn’t an actual line, they stepped into the tent. Without even looking up, the woman on the other side of the round table announced calmly, “I’ve been waiting on you two.”

Steve and Jennie shared a look, both of them raising their brows.

Jennie dug around in the pocket of her denim jacket, prepared to pay the fortune teller for the reading, but the woman shook her head, nodding towards the chairs in front of them. They sat down.

For a minute or two, it was quiet. For Steve, it was a little too quiet and he chuckled. This seemed to get the fortune teller looking up at them both from the cards spread out in front of her.

She put the cards away quickly after shaking her head and mumbling about something she’d interpreted to be worrying. “Sorry about that, I was doing a reading for a young woman who came by earlier. One of your friends, I do believe.” the fortune teller addressed Jennie.

“One of my friends?” Jennie questioned. The fortune teller nodded. And then she got down to business.

“You two always wind up together, don’t you? In every new life. You always manage to find one another.”

Steve’s brow quirked.

Jennie spoke up, laughing softly. “He’s not a believer. What’s it mean… If we’re always in each other’s lives?”

The fortune teller gave a soft laugh. Glancing at Steve for a few seconds, nodding. “I picked up on that when you two were walking over. That’s not all I picked up on…” she teased, letting her words die away.

Jennie took a deep breath. Giving Steve’s hand a squeeze beneath the table. Steve squeezed her hand back and repeated the question that Jennie had just asked. What the woman meant when she told them that they always wound up together, in every life.

“It’s not a bad thing. Well, not in the case of both of you.” the fortune teller explained, smiling at them both. “You’ve had a few not so good ones, but usually, your story has a happy ending.”

Steve let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. And then he immediately reminded himself that this was all just baloney to begin with. A way for the woman to make money.

“Over the next few years… Things around you are going to get downright peculiar.” and after saying this, she gazed at Jennie. “A woman is coming through for you, dear. She has the same hair as you. Wilder and curlier. I think she’s..” but before she could finish, Jennie spoke up, “My mom? Is her name Bonnie?”

The woman closed her eyes, focusing.

Then she nodded. “Tell Jen to stop fighting the natural order of things so hard.”

Steve eyed the woman warily. Giving Jennie’s hand a squeeze. Jennie squeezed his hand back and she seemed to relax even more.

The woman continued, glancing at Steve this time, “A lot of growth and change ahead for you. You are on the right path. Stay on it. No matter what strange things it might bring your way. Always go with your first gut instinct. On everything.”

Steve nodded, chuckling to himself. It was a pretty standard reading. Anyone could’ve given it.

But what the fortune teller told them both about always winding up together in every single version of life they’d lived thus far, that was sticking with him.

No matter how much he tried to tell himself this was pointless and she was doing this as a gimmick to make some cash on the side.

“As far as the immediate future. Stick together. Stick close to your friends, because there are some things up ahead and you’re going to need each other.”

The fortune teller dismissed them and as soon as they were out of the tent, Steve cleared his throat. “That was, uh.. Something.”

“It was.” Jennie was gazing up at him thoughtfully. Almost like she had something on her mind. Just as she was about to say whatever it was, Tommy spoke up from the funnel cake stand across the way.

“Hey man! C’mon. Sit with us.” Tommy called out.

Carol was quick to add, “ Kind of feels like we’re being ditched, Harrington.”

Steve grumbled in frustration and glanced down at Jennie. “It’s up to you.”

“If you want to go over, we can. But I make no promises that Carol won’t be wearing my shaved ice before it’s all said and done.”

“And that goes double for Tommy.” Steve muttered, chuckling quietly. Mulling it over.

“Ah, let’s just ignore ‘em. I don’t feel like dealing with his crap.” he spoke up a second or two later.

“Thank God.” Jennie laughed softly. Steve laughed too, shrugging. Practically dragging her as fast as humanly possible right past the table Carol and Tommy were saving for them to sit at and grab a quick bite.

“I know he’s not ditching us.” Carol mused out loud, annoyed. Tommy chuckled, teasing when he called out, “It’s okay man.. I know you’re whipped right now. I’d be whipped too.”

“Seriously? I’m sitting right here. Right beside you, Tommy.”

“I know, babe. I was just sayin, it’s nice Harrington found someone willing to put up with him.”

Carol’s eyes followed the two and she rolled her eyes, grimacing as she mumbled mostly to herself, “He could’ve done so much better than… her.”

Tommy turned to look at her. “Do you have to be such a bitch?”

“Do you have to be such a manwhore?” Carol asked in response, pouting when he mimicked her instead of apologizing.

XXX

The fireworks were starting. Steve and I hurried over. Tommy and Carol were calling his name, but we spotted Nancy, Barb, Jonathan and Logan around the same time. Steve nodded towards my friends and squeezed my hands. “I really don’t feel like hearing Carol’s mouth tonight.”

“And I really don’t feel like catching Tommy attempting to fuck me with his eyes every few seconds, ew.” I responded, asking a second later, “You’re sure you’re okay with sitting with Barb and Nancy, right?”

“Yeah! It’s actually been a lot more fun tonight?” Steve dragged his fingers through his hair as he gazed down at me. I smiled, nodding because I agreed.

Tommy and Carol were still yelling his name. Steve picked me up over his shoulder, making me laugh and a few seconds later, we were settled in between Barb and Nancy, right as the first big burst of color lit the night sky. Steve moved to sit behind me, letting me sit between his legs and lean back on him as he wrapped his arms around me.

All in all, I have to say… Maybe that fortune teller was making everything up. But maybe there was some logic to her words too. Because if I hadn’t just gotten tired of fighting off the pull I felt to Steve all summer long, I never would have agreed to come out on a date with him tonight.

And that would’ve been a serious bummer.