#well that’s a first innit
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SILKEN WHISPERS — d. szobozlai
.ೃ࿐ summary : Punctuality has forever coursed through your veins, especially during the most significant occasions. Yet, who would have guessed that a simple silk dress could shatter that rule?
.ೃ࿐ words : 0,6k.
.ೃ࿐ genre : suggestive.
.ೃ࿐ warning : swearing, hot makeout sesh.
.ೃ࿐ author’s note : marking my debut in the imagine territory where I’m taking my first steps with this little guy here—i have so many ideas in store ^^ hope you enjoy !
“Fuck, I love this dress” he growled into your ear.
You marveled at how Dominik had a way of approaching you with such effortless charm, savoring every moment of it. His warm breath brushed against the delicate shell of your ear, sending ripples of sensation through your entire being. You could sense the contours of his lush lips as they curved into a wicked smile, long before you could catch their reflection in the mirror.
His exquisite mouth. The gentle bristle of his stubble. His tussled, soft brown hair. The earthy scent of his cologne.
Him.
You couldn't fathom why his compliment impacted you so deeply. Well, you were aware of your excellent taste in clothing, a truly refined taste. Even the shop assistant praised your choice earlier. Yet, it was gratifying to receive admiration for your dress selection, a specific taste you had honed over the years, despite hearing your mother's reprimands all through your teenage years.
There was nothing overtly revealing about it. You cherished the fabric's softness and the delicate hue, an homage to the early breath of the warm summer day that lay ahead. It draped around your form, lending both grace and a sense of comfort.
Elegance and comfort, precisely what you sought. With Dominik so close behind you now, you felt, on top of all that, utterly sexy.
You mirrored his smile before focusing on applying your red lipstick. Dominik drew even nearer. His large hands encircled your waist, exerting a firm hold. His thumbs traced delightfully slow, feathery circles down your back, igniting a blaze that seemed to sear the silky fabric, sending tendrils of heat down your spine. What was his intention?
You attempted to stifle a gasp, but the faint tremor in your body, as involuntary as it was, betrayed you. Naturally, Dominik, to his great delight, took notice.
His languorous demeanor slowly gave way to a more intimate and intense expression. Your eyes fluttered shut as he dipped his head to kiss your neck. He was acutely aware of the effect this simple yet intimate act would have on you, especially when he focused on that particular spot where your shoulder met your neck. It was, after all, one of his many areas of expertise.
Unconsciously, you allowed the lipstick you had just lowered to slip from your hand onto the polished wooden chest of drawers. This granted you the excuse to weave your fingers into his hair—a subtle act not only to steady yourself but also to unwittingly encourage his delightful administrations, preventing your legs from giving way.
"We're going to be late," you managed to articulate with a tremulous, breathless voice. He let out a small laugh against your skin. "It's your cousin's wedding, after all," you murmured desperately, knowing that soon you would be rushing headlong into trouble.
In response, he delicately nipped a part of your neck. That slightest gesture was enough to make you surrender. Your head tilted backward, finding support against his sturdy chest before leaning slightly to the side. Your hand grabbed a few strands of his hair, pulling gently, eliciting a moan from him.
Now literally pressed against Dominik, you could feel every beat of his heart pulsating against his still partly unbuttoned white shirt. The mirror had indeed offered you a delightful view of his well-defined torso.
You ceased pretending that this damn wedding held any significance the moment his hands slid forward across your breasts and descended towards the lower curve of your belly and even lower. Suddenly, he emitted another groan, this one more desperate and guttural than the first. Your breath caught.
"You know what?" he whispered, "Far too perfect. Let your hair down, darling, I need to ruffle you up a bit before we go."
#neima’s writing#well that’s a first innit#dominik szoboszlai#Dominik szobozlai imagines#dominik szobozlai imagine#dominik szobozlai x reader#Dominik szobozlai one shot#liverpool fc imagine#liverpool fc fanfic#dominik szobozlai fanfic#dominik szobozlai fic#dominik szobozlai x you#dominik szobozlai smut#footballer x reader#footballer fic#footballer imagine#premier league imagine
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Blue valentines with brighter lighting ✨💙
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#Welp. My optimism was completely misplaced yesterday. My brother has refused to get out of bed all day and now it's pouring with rain#So he won't be talking the dog out even if he does bother getting up and he hasn't been helping me with anything.#oh well. I have you guys. Here is another look at my first valentines look this year!!! It is all blue bc the gift Im wearing is blue obvs!#satans knitwear#Bit fancy for a tuesday innit Tuesdays#Fancy tuesday#girls with piercings#alt pinup#pinup girl#pretty lingerie#Blue lace lingerie set#bi girl#cheeky#uk girl#wlw
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can we get him out?
#roman..................................#went into a fugue state the last two hours nd drew this whilst listening to one song on a constant loop. doin well👍#tryin to do more drawins without underdrawin first. just raw dogging it and tryin to get a feeeeeeel. so#wonky proportions beloved......scale issues deliberate.....#roman roy hole motif is in full effect in this one innit#wanna do a fucked up body horror roy siblings image. its cookin on the back burners#anyways. always dvd screen logo bouncing roman about my brain. u know how it is#pain and suffering on planet church and state. What a fucking episode. grief simulation 5000#roman roy#succession#roman roy art#succession art#my art#chewtoy
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who wants to be my dress up doll...... i pick out your clothes and style your hair, adorn you with makeup or just spend forever gently, lightly brushing over your skin with the softest makeup brush the way they do in those personal attention asmr videos, maybe I'll even decorate your body with temporary tattoos or kiss marks, praise you for being a good doll who holds still for me and melts into my touch, all outside stressors visibly leaving you as you relax and your mind focusses on what really matters: being mine to play with and adore <3 until eventually i get so horny over the whole ordeal that I'll use your doll body to get myself off in whatever way pleases me
would you like that? would you be a good doll for me?
#dollification#this is not the first time i talk about dollification on this blog but I'm still embarrassed over this kink#because i feel like I'm doing it wrong - i don't wanna degrade my playpartner by saying they're 'just' a doll and 'beneath me'#anyone up for dollification without that? ok if not. I'm guessing that's the main appeal for many if not all#I WANNA PUT FACEMASKS ON YOU AS WELL#gOD just someone to try my hobbies on innit#gentle dollification#nsft personal attention
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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WWWOOOPS FORGOT I MADE THIS. drew this back at around when the hyperbolic time chamber training arc was just starting. remember that? huh? remember the hamspter??? ohhhhhhhh youll remember the haspter!!!! oh my god yknow what else i remember. williams overwhelming love for christmas. oh my god. spooky zombie boy loves the christmas.. literally the best possible thing for him...
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd spoilers#VYNCENT SSOOOOOLLLL I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW YOUUUUU AND YKNIOW WHY?? YKNOW WHYYY???? BC WHEN I FIRST DREW EVERYONE:#I DIDNT LOOK AT ANY REFS. DREW EM STRAIGHT FROM OFF THE TOP O MY HEAD. AND WELL. IN MY HEAD SOMETIMES#I PICTURE THE CHARACTERS LOOKING SIMILAR TO THE PLAYERS IN SOME WAY. NOT THE BEST THING TO DO REALLY. BUT YOU SEE.#VYNCENT CAME OFF AS A VERY SOFT AND SWEET CHARACTER. BUT SEEMED TO CARRY ALOT OF STRENGTH. HES LIKE A BEAUTIFUL AND POWERFUL BULL TO ME.#SO I DRAW THE GUY REAL DENSE! BUT THEN YAKNOOOWW THE OFFICIAL ART CROSSES MY EYES N IM LIKE FFFYUUUUUCKKK HE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT!!!!!!#IM LIKE AAUGUHGH IM DRAWIN HIM WRONG!!! BUT THEN IM ALSO CRAAAZY STUBBORN N I AAALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS DESIGN FOR HIM AND I DONT WANNT#I DONT WANNA GO N JUS CHANGE IT AAAALL UP NOW!!CMAHHHNNN BUT I STILL GOTTA DO SOOOMETHIN!!#LEST HE BECOMES SO FAR REMOVED FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL HE FAILS TO BE RECOGNIZED!! ANYONE ELSE GO THRU THIS? GIMME UR TIPS#anyway AHH THE DEMON THAT DESPISES ART FROM MONTHS AGO!! just means im improving so so fastly and cool-like. tbh im so proud o my recents#bUT HEY THOUGH I FIGURED OUT THE QUEUEUE THING AHAHAH NOW I CAN GET ALL MY THOUGHTS N DRAWINS OUT IN A DAAAYYYY#CONSISTENT POSTING FOR A MONTH HERE I COME. DAILY UPLOADS FOR A WEEK. YEAAHH BABY!!! PREPARE FOR SHOTGGUN BLASDT!!!!!!#ALRIGHT ALright one more thing before i go im. SO IN LOVE WITH MY SHAPES HONESLY... they are not just one shape but so so many put together#fucked up innit??? im seeing soo many problems in this piece though but i rest easy knowing i captured my feelings in the moment.
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as a girl I have admit it feels pretty nice catfishing men into thinking I don't know shit about football so they can say the most boring shit to me and then I come back with data and receipts.
I love watching their faces when it happens. The way they shrug their shoulders. sweat dripping from their faces. vague hand gestures. asking fellas for support. embarrassed laugh. and then proceed to make a choice:
choice A: abruptly end the conversation
choice B: "I've never met a girl who..."
and then you graciously smile and leave.
#whats your hobby? shaming men#thats my hobby#went on my 10 minutes walk around the building to get fresh air and think about my thesis#met my fellow maghrebis having a pre dinner reunion around the block.#i went I conquered I can go back to my thesis. I feel stronger. empowered. no one can beat me.#tbf they know me they know I like football but it's always like the first time when I drop something new INNIT.#oh you didn't know that khoya? well now you do
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this dude on twt ages ago swore that mine was anything but gay because he was nice to katase and quote "all men he interacts with he tries to kill" 😭☠️
Idk how that bloke didnt acknowledge that the men mine attacked were mostly dudes who threatened/questioned daigo’s position/authority like huh
#snap chats#ofc hes gonna be pleasant to katase she didnt do anything 💀#well. in her first two scenes. he was def upset in the last scene with her but anyway#like kanda constantly talked about replacing daigo and. i neednt speak anymore on the dude on the plane#he didnt fist fight hamazaki to death but he def put him in a rough patch with the triad to protect daigo#i think kiryus the only instance where he doesnt attack him for daigo-related reasons#he wasnt even immediately hostile it was only when kiryu started talkin that mess that mine started getting angry#even THEN it was only when kiryu decided he couldnt reason with mine that mine accepted to fight him#tho ig kiryu was fighting mine because of daigo … so it is daigo related now innit ..#its just that kiryu was trying to protect daigo and reason with mine But Not The Point Anyway#idk point is Mine Likes Daigo A Lot And He Doesnt Like People Who Threaten Daigo
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Blood Moon
#art#artist#original art#art on tumblr#artist on tumblr#tumblr artist#digital art#fire alpaca#vibrant art#eye strain tw#nature#naturecore#mystical#I'm just expanding tag range here lookit me go#anyway yeah it's? I have no job at current (although possibly due to change) and really enjoy doing these#maybe I could be........... paid to do them :OOO#I've never actually. Done commissions before. I did art requests a few years ago for pride but that's it#these sorts of pictures take......... about a day from first sketch to final clean up#I don't want to. Intimidate people out of art but also. Time consuming innit???#well. depends. I did a piece as an art trade for Logan Rose:tm: one time which was quicker#cause it was less detailed#mmmmmmmm#anyway this! I saw a label on the back of a guys jacket at the job center and went oh yeah that's an art piece#everything tilting in to that moon.......#part of me was tempted to try and make the character into Link for a while cause I relate blood moons to BotW haha#I didn't in the end. Like the vibes#mmm!#trade-marked
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laura gave me a birthday present last night and included in it was a little plastic princess tiara...a princess tiara...for my princess...look at it....look it it are you looking at it...have you ever seen something so beautiful. he is wearing it as we speak he is wearing this in everything ive ever written OR read it is. it is his little princess tiara a princess tiara for my most specialest little princess and he looks so pretty and everybody agrees...
#it is my second most prized possession. first being the photo i have of laura wearing the princess tiara. in spoons <3#the hangover i am fighting this morning is well worth it. for a wonderful night in spoons with laura xx#laura tag#r#i also sang the national anthem for laura because they hadnt heard it which well. you shouldnt have been able to waterboard that out of me#possibly but. the things you do for love innit xx
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hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT
#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background..#literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start#to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me#when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and#then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such#and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more#negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed#out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail....#also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don'#want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working#there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had#tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard#rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r#doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's#why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME#ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda#long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to#your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if#you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve#that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint.#anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴#ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :(((((((((((#r.txt
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best advice for fat bitches is everyone can already see ur fat so whether you dress to hide that or actually dress the way you want is going to impact u and u alone. god bless
#i got this new skirt that i love but i noticed wearing it out for the first time that bc it's v thin fabric my stomach outline is v apparent#which a few years ago would've made me scream and cry and throw up and now it's just like well yea that's my body innit#in or out of the skirt. might as well do what i want. same goes for spaghetti straps. actually now that i'm thinking about it#that was a brave ass outfit i had on yesterday. fat liberation queen. okay I'll be quiet now#elli.txt
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sometimes u put yr playlist on shuffle a song comes up and you have to put another song in the queue immediately as soon as it comes on bc it makes you think of that song
#this is abt aura by ghost and pals Sry everytime i hear it im like a fiddle This is just like devil went down to georgia and then i have to#put devil went down to georgia in the queue#i think its a fiddle innit.. it sounds like a fiddle but im also NOTORIOUSLY bad at telling instruments apart. <- guy who once couldnt tell#if something was a guitar or a piano i actually rly rly rly rly dont wanna get into it okay.#i guess you didnt know it but i am a fiddle player too 😏😏#sry. the other thing this post is abt is kiss me and ladies in their sensibilities sweeney. obviously those r connected#but if ladies in their sensibilities comes on by itself i quite literally couldnt be assed so everytime i have to put kiss me on instead an#add lits to the queue. bc them together is like the best song i ever heard its just that the beginning of lits is just kind of boring It#does get stuck i my head sometimes but the supreme part is the end thats Basically just a reprise of kiss me#but also theyre kind of the same song anyways at least o wowww i was just typing in tempo with the fiddle that was awesome. at least on the#2012 soundtrack aka the best one talk to the hand or dont i dont wanna hear it. well i do want to hear it it being the 2012 london cast#recording of sweeney todd starring michael ball and imelda staunton. ANYWAYS!! in that one the songs lead in to eachother#ive listened to all the other soundtracks but idr if they do that.. well ill tell u the movie doesnt bc it doesnt have kiss me. which is#just so. the johanna anthony romance doesnt rly have much substance in the first place and yr taking away like. their duet together. ok....#AND yr taking away the end part of lits? the best part of that song? whatever its fine its fine.#if anybody is curious my ranking of casts is 2012 > obc > movie > 2006 i fucking hate 2006 or 2005 or whatever i hate it sm it makes my#blood literally boil im sry. i fucking LOATHE it idk what it is well i do but this post is already 5000000 years long. idt the new one is#out fully yet... i was ok with the songs i have heard but idk where id rank it yet. i should prolly check if the full things out yet omg so#me and my lampstie (way of saying my siblings name if theres something deeply wrong with you) can listen :]
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I do believe that checking setlists has now become very unhealthy for me.
This whole experience really went: 🎢 🔥
Because just look:
just keep looking
(is this actually real??? Is setlists dot fm messing with me?)
Like... What is this??? NOT ONLY TBHC BACK
NOT ONLY an entire setlist of their songs
EDIT TIME
[well I stand corrected because no covers. Just actual recordings being played] [but these are still interesting and exciting choices tbh]
but also TWO BONUS COVERS?
Barry White and THE BEATLES???? ExCUSE ME? [btw, do we have any recordings of that? 😩]
... but oh - you thought we could just have a nice moment of full-on-envy towards these lucky Indonesian folks? Nahhhh
Because WHERE - I am asking - IS ONE POINT PERSPECTIVE???????
Why. Why is my only question. Just why is it the TBHC songs that have to suffer most for that amount of AM songs to be in there ❤️🩹
(I suppose I still will take the win of TBHC not completely disappearing. WE'VE GOT HOPE TO HOLD ONTO)
#bye bye#I'm off to learn witchcraft#I can't trust Alex#I need to cast a spell and put my own version of a setlist in his head before the summer begins#this man seems like he saw my top picks of songs I want to hear live and just went:#'nah. she can't just have it all'#yes. thats what happened. this is personal. Alex Turners choices revolve around me for sure#and I compromised!#I understood I can't get Schwartz and Ultracheese and all these songs he put his whole soul into and now can't bare to sing live#(because too much vulnerability probably. or something of the sort)#I chose from the list he made himself! and he's still toying with it 🥺#(ah. me and my first world problems innit)#well ANYWAY#I don't even know how to feel about these setlists anymore#Arctic Monkeys#more like Arctic Messing-with-my-head-Keys#setlist#//#my posts#my very unhinged posts
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Hehehehehehe for the first time in forever ive written over seven thousand words for a fic and the dopamine high just thinking about it is insane
#.txt#have been arting as well but motly non fandom sketchbooking#and HOORAY first semester of college finals COMPLETE#so happy to be back w my family with only personal projects to focus on for the next month#oh gosh on the plane yesterday i drew the most delicious curls on romano holy shit wish he were me#its pretty epic that every person gets to live on this earth and write/draw/sing what they interpret as beauty hu? pretty wonderful innit
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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