#well im repeating myself

[geminipdf]

i've always been rather fustrated with 'a lesser evil' but this time around im interpreting it not as sapkowski's treaty on morality but a representation of how geralt interacts with the outside world within the framework of his own agency and his so-called neutrality which then keeps playing out and repeating in the rest of the story. maybe geralt and renfri are a case of an unstoppable force and an immovable object here or maybe geralt is an example of an individual functioning in a world he cannot control but is forced to navigate and interact with because the world doesn't let him stay detached no matter how hard he tries. well he still chooses to run and fight with renfri's guys instead of leaving the town. not sure how to word this correctly. i guess since he usually wants to refuse to engage with the grand narrative and is reluctant to join someone elses schemes he can only say yes or no to the things that come directly his way and renfri and her guys choose to come at him and so he has to defend himself and by association the rest of the town and the evil wizard.

[hinamie]

mentor

[exoflash]

a concerning amount of witchblr will be like "um actually new years was stolen by europeans from the ancient god scroobus mcdoobus" and then you actually try to research scroobus mcdoobus and it turns out he was invented in the 1940s by a conspiracy theorist who powdered every meal with ketamine and thinks that queer people are reincarnated fish

[pinkseas]

(bighugemassive isat spoilers vvv)

thinking about loop in the sif is out au has me experiencing a very special kind of agony

just. just. siffrin, alone!! looping completely alone, none of their party members, not a soul in all of dormont, no star under the favor tree. only them, for years-decades-thousands of loops, until they finally, finally give up. until they can't do it anymore. and then waking up. in a world where their entire party is stuck in that time loop EXCEPT for them.

having to watch themselves over, and over, and over again, messing up and being utterly useless and holding every single one of the others back. the only idiot who doesnt remember. loop, working with a party that is no longer theirs to save a version of themselves who has never known a day of real hardship or suffering. a stupid, aimless traveler trapping each and every one of them here, loop included, who doesnt even have the decency to know theyre doing it! funny how there are two of them, now, and yet BOTH of them have completely and utterly failed their entire party in such drastically unique and awful ways. forcing them to relive this for eternity.

at least none of loop's party remembered. at least loop was useful in that they could take away the other's pain, shoulder it all on their own. siffrin can't even do that. all they're doing is hurting everyone more. and they don't know.

they're the reason, they're the key, it's their fault everyone is suffering and they dont even know!!!! useless. worse than useless. if only one of these loops they would just stay dead. it'd be better for everyone, that way, for their party and loop and even themselves. loop knows how it feels. loop understands. yeah the others have each other and loop had no one but at least loop is capable of helping the others now!!! at least loop can remember!!! siffrin doesnt deserve this he doesnt deserve the love and care and affection (affection he doesnt even RECOGNIZE, doesnt appreciate or cherish, takes for granted over and over and over again) he doesnt deserve to wake every day in blissful ignorance of the way hes ruined everything and everyone around him!!!!!!

loop who knows it all and who gets to watch the entire party except for siffrin work together and support each other. gets to see just how much better off they are without sif in the way. loop isnt even siffrin, anymore. theyre Good now theyre Useful now they Understand now. siffrin doesnt and never will. watching the careful, quiet way siffrin falls further and further behind. another timeline and still completely alone. thats just what the universe wants from them, loop thinks. for every siffrin out there to suffer.

and ohhhh if/when they break the loops depending on how that goes... siffrin who did nothing to contribute who did nothing to deserve this who shouldnt even EXIST being handed victory and unconditional love on a silver fucking platter and loop who just has to watch............

[mr-urple]

phenomenon i've noticed about my speech

[ganondoodle]

i will never forgive totk for giving us 5 minutes of zelda being excited and confident about her actual interests right at the start only to yank her away for the rest of the game and into the scared puppy eyed little maiden role standing uncomfortably besides the cool new guy™️

like is it actually a genuis tragic move of the writers to let her yet again not be allowed to be anything but a puppy eyed sacrificial maiden or is it just … bad writing how do i explain that i care so much about zelda that totk made me care not even a little bit about anyone but master koga bc of how it was written

i was more emotionally invested trying to get a chicken out of a well than i was with totks story or new characters (if you take the yiga out of the equation)

(and no, finding a few scraps of text, you have to grind to find, telling me that actualyl she had so much fun there and did like .. one thing with an some sort of never seen or otherwise hinted at construct and omg she totally was integrated like famillyy and found friends we never see isnt remedying anything imo)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Still cant believe rivals charles real. Or will be in like. A year’s time.

[midnightsnaq]

Reigen Arataka

Nah, I'd win ahhh

[deoidesign]

Guys you're not gonna believe this. The books are wrong again

At least this time I didn't even get half of them and half of what I did get was damaged...? So I only have another 70 books to deal with... This time they're soft touch......

I've got so many of book 2 it's not even funny

[ind1c0lite]

Reminder

(also there's a speedpaint! for the first time in a while HGJKHL)

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

[origamiyoda]

home alone in the dark isnt fun anymore i keep freaking myself out i am so scared ouh my god

[rbtlvr]

u know. i feel like. the way i 'cover' music (listening reaaaaally really closely note by note and transcribing it into the free program that i have) is probably not. the way most people do it. almost certainly there is a simpler way of doing things. however

[mylove-thresher]

I keep trying to post shit I been drawing lately BUT I CANT. I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO. THE WORMS INSIDE MY HEAD DO NOT APPROVE OF THEM. I CANNOT FUCKING DRAW. PUT ME DOWN. I DONT FEEL THE SILLY IN ME.

[moonshynecybin]

i have 12.2k of rosquez mpreg fanfiction that needs a discerning eye, if any mutuals would like to beta read my DMs are OPEN....

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Out of curiosity: why do you think Philip hates Alex specifically? (cakegate aside) Do you think he'd just be okay with Henry dating some upper-class English guy?

Why I think he hates Alex

He has no been kind to him once in the book. Also Alex ruined his wedding cake. Not a great first impression.

I don’t think there’s more to it tbh. Alex hasn’t been kind to him either, and Philip sees Alex being so “open” with the public, having fun with it, his public persona completely different to their (Philip, Bea, and Henry’s) public persona, and just being the compete opposite to what monarchy considers proper, so he doesn’t like him, let alone want him dating Henry.

Answering your second question,

I think it’s not based on Alex not being an upper-class English guy, but more based on how Alex is as a person, as in his personality. And also the fact than he’s the son of the president of the states.

“I don’t care if you’re gay,” Philip says, dropping that big fat if like Henry hasn’t already specifically told him. “I care that you’ve made this choice, with him”—he cuts his eyes sharply to Alex as if he finally exists in the same room as this conversation—“someone with a fucking target on his back, to be so stupid and naive and selfish as to think it wouldn’t completely fuck us all.”

Alex is, since the start of the book, very different to Henry. Interests and family aside, Alex kind of enjoys being in the public eye. At least at the start of the book. He likes being in front of a crowd, make them scream. Is true than Alex is probably the most private one out of the White House trio, but just because he doesn’t share his private life to the public, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t get along with them. One of the first scenes of him we have is him talking about how he and Nora like creating rumours and being in magazines and all.

I have a point I swear, just wait.

Monarchy (Philip, Henry, Bea), is the complete opposite to this. They stay out of directly interacting with the public, they don’t have fun with it like Alex does. Not because is a personal choice (which that too) but because they can’t, because they have a reputation to uphold. And isn’t everything about monarchy based on reputation?

Alex, Nora, and June, also have reputations, but theirs are handmade, you could say, while Philip, Henry, and Bea’s and premade, they had no choice on them, they are just something they have to do, something the have to look like.

Alex, Nora and June chose their own reputations, they decided how they wanted people to see them. They had control over that.

All three of them—himself, June, and Nora—have their roles.

Nora is the cool brainy one, the one who makes inappropriate jokes on Twitter about whatever sci-fi show everyone’s watching, a bar trivia team ringer.

He looks at June—ahead of him now, caramel highlights in her swinging ponytail catching the midday sun—and he knows her place too. The intrepid Washington Post columnist, the fashion trendsetter everyone wants to have at their wine-and-cheese night.

But Alex is the golden boy. The heartthrob, the handsome rogue with a heart of gold. The guy who moves through life effortlessly, who makes everyone laugh. Highest approval ratings of the entire First Family. The whole point of him is that his appeal is as universal as possible.

For example Alex is not his public personal (aside from heart of gold). That’s something he created. The whole point of him is than his appeal is as universal as possible.

Stopping myself here because if I don’t I’ll go on yet another rant about Alex (I love my boy so much).

But basically in the book there’s a deep contrast between Alex’s family and Henry’s family, one is warm the other is cold. Alex has, and has always had, a choice. Sure, being on the public eye was not something he chose, it just happened because his mother wanted to be president, but he could choose everything else. His public persona, his decisions, who to date and who to not date. They didn’t even stop him from dating Henry. Just told him than he has to know what he wanted, to choose. But they didn’t stop him.

Henry is the opposite. He can’t choose how to present himself, how the world sees him. He can’t even wear ties with patterns.

Patterns are considered a “statement.” Royals aren’t supposed to make statements with what we wear.

They aren’t supposed to make statements.

The Royal Family are, as a rule, expected to stay out of politics, and refrain from giving their personal opinion on certain topics, so as to remain impartial.

Dating Alex, son of a political leader, is a statement. Is saying “I support this and I do not support that”.

And, Alex wants to be involved in politics, he talks about how he wants to make a change, how he genuinely cares, and the fastest way to make a change is making it while being on positions of power, somewhere people can hear you.

Alex’s whole reason for wanting to go into politics, when he knows so many past presidential sons and daughters have run away screaming the minute they turned eighteen, is he genuinely cares about people.

He has a very visible political position. People know what he supports and what he doesn’t, what he wants to do and what he doesn’t. And since he likes being on positions of power, because that gives him the possibly to make a change (even if at the end the change he did was unrelated to politics but about who he was as a person), he doesn’t get out of it. He continues being on it, he doesn’t mind attention on him, as long as they see what he wants them to see.

Philip sees Alex always on the public eye for one reason or another, a photo shoot, a new rumour, etc, and sees how his public persona is different to theirs, “wilder”, not so formal.

And, conservatives hate Alex. He is everything they stand against, even before knowing he was bi. He’s a grandchild of immigrants, he’s mixed race, he’s brown, he’s outspoken about his views (which are opposite to theirs), he’s the son of the first president who’s a woman, and who is also a democrat, he comes from a mixed race family, etc etc. Monarchy is supposed to be neutral. Alex is the opposite from neutral.

Philip’s main problem with Henry being gay is than he wanted to come out. Henry’s gay? Ok but he can’t come out. And that’s not based on homophobia (no matter if it sounds like it), is deeper, Henry coming out would challenge everything. First, he wouldn’t be neutral anymore. Monarchy is built upon manipulation upon privilege upon capitalism, etc. Henry coming out would threaten everything, all the rules, all the stuff would have to change, people would be asking why he didn’t come out before, and if Henry said the truth, their reputation would be dammed. And many many people would stop liking them. Some would not like them for being homophobic, other wouldn’t like them because Henry is gay. People from both sides would be against them. Their reputation (as mentioned as repeatedly through the book as repeatedly as I’m mentioning it now) is something that must be perfect. They can’t make statements, they’re perfect, formal, they’ll continue the bloodline, etc. If Henry is gay and people know, it no longer affects him, but all of them.

And many people see queerness and something political. Again, Henry wouldn’t be neutral.

I think than if Henry married a woman (hopefully a beard, someone who knows he’s gay and doesn’t care to cover for him) and had affairs with men, and Philip knew (than he was gay), he wouldn’t mind. He did what he had to do. Henry’s reputation is good, their reputation is good, they’ll continue the bloodline, etc. Because Philip, like Henry, was taught to leave their wants aside, and focus more on monarchy and what’s good for it.

The thing with Philip is, he isn’t evil. And many seem to forget that. He did bad things, and I’m holding him accountable for them, but at the end of the day, he was just brainwashed by Mary, specially after Arthur’s death. He was vulnerable after his father died, his mother wasn’t there mentally, he felt like he had to step up, be the “man of the house”, and he clung to his grandmother (the only adult in his immediate family who was physically and mentally there for him), and Mary took this opportunity to make him into the version of him monarchy wanted him to be (rule follower, defends their reputation no matter what, cares more about monarchy and what people think of them than what he wants to do.), which is just what Mary tried to make Henry to be too.

But he was on about Martha, and land holdings, and the hypothetical heirs they have to start working on, even though Philip hates children, and suddenly it was as if . . . as if everything you said last night came back to me. I thought, God, that’s it, isn’t it? Just following the plan. And it’s not that he’s unhappy. He’s fine. It’s all very deeply fine. A whole lifetime of fine.”

She probably tried with Bea, but Bea saw the manipulation right away and it didn’t work, or she didn’t get to try because with Arthur alive, that man would have never let her do that to his children, and with Arthur gone, Bea was like Catherine, mentally somewhere else. After rehab, she was still mourning, but she had Henry, she didn’t need her like Philip did. Because I think Henry and Bea were closer than Philip and Henry/Bea even before Arthur died, after it and Mary’s manipulation, they just drifted more apart.

If Casey wanted us to believe Philip was bad he would have made him be bad until the end, made him not change. Philip did change. Henry is even trying to make amends with him. Maybe he hasn’t fully forgiven him, which makes absolute sense and just because Philip was a victim it doesn’t he mean he was a victim inside their relationship, than he couldn’t continue the cycle of abuse. But Philip realized the cycle of abuse, realized he was continuing all this time. And tried to stop. That’s growth. Maybe not forgivable, not after everything, but he’s trying.

Philip came to Kensington two weeks ago to apologize to both Henry and Bea for the years since their father’s death, the harsh words, the domineeringness, the intense scrutiny. For basically growing from an uptight people- pleaser into an abusive, self-righteous twat under the pressure of his position and the manipulation of the queen. “He’s fallen out with Gran,” Henry had told Alex over the phone. “That’s the only reason I actually believe anything he says.”

Mary isn’t trying, Mary didn’t decide to support Henry at the end, didn’t try to do better. No one forgives her, and we are not supposed to see than she’s trying to be better, because she isn’t. “Isn’t Mary also a victim of this cycle of abuse, wasn’t she like Philip, brainwashed by her own parents probably (and her parents by their parents and so on), and continued the cycle?” Yes, but she doesn’t actively try to be better, doesn’t realize that, doesn’t even feel bad about it, different to Philip.

Answering again with shorter answers.

Why does Philip hate Alex specifically?

Because Alex is the whole opposite to what they stand for, he’s a walking statement, and he’s so himself, different to monarchy with their perfect flawless formal public personas.

Would Philip be fine with Henry dating some upper-class English guy (before coming out and everything than happened after he did)?

As long as he kept it secret, Henry could date whoever he wanted as long as he didn’t want to make it public, as long as he planned on marrying a woman and following his duty, as long as that someone was responsible, and didn’t have a “target on his back”, and Philip says Alex has.

Again, holding Philip accountable for everything he did, just explaining the reason why he did it.

Does this make sense? Because in my head it does but I don’t know if it does when I write it down