#well fuck it i'll just post it i guess
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Ohhh yeah, he's got it bad.
A little baby comic! I've not forgot about my children, you know! And sometimes a gal just wants to draw more yearning.
(This one is actually a little prequel to a comic that I drew a long time ago...could it be that I did this now because that older comic is about to get redrawn? Mysteries abound.)
Tev/Dren Masterpost
#art#elder scrolls#morrowind#the elder scrolls III morrowind#dunmer#nerevarine#tevrani#drenim omalas#true story#I said to myself o fuck my birthday is shortly#it's the perfect time to post a comic remake#that's like the whole thing I keep joking is a tradition#but oh no I can't do the remake without doing the prequel I wrote for it#well I guess I'll do that first#so here we are#apologies for the slower pace of these comics lately#I've been doing a lot of cosplay! which I love!#just branching out into more hobbies#but rest assured the kids are always on my mind
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#finizen#i will do this one separate from palafin just because i think from this angle you Should be able to see the heart on their chest but i#haven't verified that information yet. if not i'll update this post in the queue tomorrow and add palafin's tag as well#anyway FUCK this thing's evolution method? i distinctly remember how long it took folks to figure this fuckin thang out#it's a pain in the ENTIRE ass. it SUCKS#oh wait i guess i'll have to do like. hero form palafin. yeah that'll be in the palafin post#just remembered that that. pokémon. exists. shivering in fear
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i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad
#i grew my following off of anime stuff and now i'm into completely different stuff and i feel like posting about it -#will alienate my audience way too much#(if you wanna know - these days i hardly even watch one anime a year)#i wanna post about the fuckin saw movies and postal and weird video games and metalocalypse and music i like#and i want to post about my ocs without it feeling like i'm speaking gibberish to a crowd#but none of my followrs GIVE A FUCK#also i find it impossible to make friends on twt 😭😭😭😭 i have like 5 mutuals i'd consider friends#but alas i have too many industry pro followrs to just deactivate#and 40k followers is invaluable as someone whose only form of income rn is comms#tumblr has similar problems but at least i can talk about my ocs properly cuz of tagging#i don't like how monetized my account has become it feels so fucking disingenuous#it's just retweet retweet retweet post art retweet retweet#if twitter went under it'd be a blessing in disguise for me#oh well. suffering from success i guess#maybe one day i'll move accounts and KILL STARRYSHARKS ONCE AND FOR ALL#this is all 13 yr old me's fault#sorry for ranting/venting ig??? on main lol
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So this is a sequel to this post mainly because there was some crucial details in the finale that I missed, but this is specifically going to be focusing on Parrot rather than Evbo, although Evbo is still going to be part of this whole theory. Lets start.
[Transcript Start] Evbo: -My iron sword, so their swords will never break. Thats why I have to get out of here, so that I can prove to people that there is a way out! Obviously, to do that, I need to make it to level 4. But its a bit tough to do that, since theres no way to rank up apparently. Parrot: ...Wait, what do you mean theres no way to rank up? Evbo: Oh yeah! I probably should've mentioned that every time I try to rank up to a golden sword- Woah, getting up close and personal. But..yeah, theres no water at the bottom, I've died-
[End of transcript.]
This exchange to me, at first, read as rather inconspicuous. Other players have killed Evbo before, or straight up hit him. So it didn't particularly click with me that this was something to pay attention to, but it was a bit weird considering how Parrot is first characterized. His whole introduction with Evbo and Tabi, and him talking about the iron sword layer being peaceful, and trying to protect Evbo's immortal identity, being depressed and isolating himself in a mansion.. It seems odd that this would suddenly shift when the situation becomes "Theres no way out" and him almost getting violent here, like every other character in the series. But he shows restraint in his anger rather than lashing out. Good right? Well... Next time we "meet" Parrot the implications are less than ideal. We learn he is a bow, and that he attempted to tell Evbo this, but the message about Tabi's betrayal got through to him too late. Then something else happens. Evbo, post betrayal and probably wanting to let off some of the stress that has most definitely been bubbling under the surface, Kills the entire iron sword layer. Or atleast very heavily implied that he did, along with Parrot's help. In Evbo's words, he "Killed all the people that were against me." which could either mean like, two people or the entire layer, and I don't think Evbo was particularly keeping track of the "bad" iron swords that came into his cell depending on how populated that layer actually is. The way someone would typically twist this, is that Parrot is willing to do terrible things for his friend's safety and comfort. Which is fine, but hear me out. Considering that Parrot got very close to snapping at Evbo back in episode 4, and was pretty absent throughout the arc where Evbo trains until he gets to the diamond sword layer, and then out of nowhere, helps with a murder spree despite him being one of the more peaceful residents? One that doesn't appear to get into fights, nor is seen going into Evbo's cell for kills? Evbo lets something slip near the end right after describing the massacre that he and Parrot did together. Parrot says:
"I will do my best to make a difference in this world."
Now, this sounds good in theory. Great, even! But consider the stuff we learned from him up until this point, the tiny details that you could easily miss or disregard entirely. Now, what does that phrase imply? Especially with the surrounding context being Evbo and Parrot killing a layer together?
What difference does he intend to make in this world? We don't get more than what Evbo tells us in the narration, but he does mention that he isn't willing to see Parrot just yet, and needs to piece his feelings towards him. What went down between these two that went unseen that left Evbo not wanting to talk to him let alone see him? Fishy, fishy, fishy.
#pvp civilization#pvp civ spoilers#pvpciv#trying to make up for the lack of good quality posts sorry chat#but also what the fuck#i thought at first the whole evbo killing the iron sword layer in a fit of resentment was a fanon thing#but no thats straight up just implied and i somehow missed that entirely#and more importantly PARROT?#parrot helped?!#and he says THAT right after evbo is done brushing over the fact that they did a planned massacre?#this is fucking sketchy dude!!!#this is villain talk!!!#these mfs are NOT morally good people they are plotting some shit#more specifically i think parrot is the one plotting something actually bad#evbo is a dog that parrot brought along to help out with kills#and well. lets just say i have some theories on who parrot actually is#but im keeping them to myself because maybe?? they'll turn this right around and i'll look completely fucking stupid sob#i guess i can share a sillier? one because it could make for a good au i guess#parrot cult leader arc#like he organized a whole group and its like. religious worship of whoever they think the chosen one actually is#and well. lets just say. parrot might be up there#idk just a fun idea maybe ill write something about it#sympathytea overthinks#<- im not sure why the post doesnt show up under this tag but im not fixing it
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if the reading comprehension of some people who do make dead plate text posts is so bad (as i've had at least two people tell me in the tags) then maybe i SHOULD start analyzing every little detail in the game.
#dream's textposts🖋️#and I'd be so good at it too. i am so fucking tired of people viewing rody as an innocent cinnamon roll#for one that is a grown ass man who's pushing 30 or so. and did any of you actually read his dialogue? i know he was snarky at LEAST once#especially when vincent said he had no taste when he was meaning it literally and rody said smth like “yeah i saw the decorations outside”#that's not even all of it either because he has so much to mention regarding vince's taste in interior design for his apartment#PLEASE let rody be an asshole. it's good for him. he's intended to be a character written realistically and with nuance. vincent too#i think this one is obvious but he didn't even have to burn the bistro down technically but he did that anyways. stop watering him down#on the opposite end stop making vincent fully an asshole. be fucking for real. yes he's bad. guess what though. he has morals#why else would he view serving his customers dishes with human meat in it with so much disdain? he's not gonna do that#“yeah but HE ate people” Out of desperation. yes. he wanted to test if he could taste again if he ate someone. so what.#it does haunt him afterwards that he'd basically murdered two people in cold blood and nothing came of it#manon isn't fully innocent either because she caused the game to take place in the first place but even then she had a motivator for it#and it was reasonable. im not going to bash her for what she did when she broke up with rody because it was necessary so he'd improve#im pretty sure the rebound with vince is what really messed everything up though. overall the story was well put together however#i think most of the fandom's problem is not catching up on implications. those really make a story good if used correctly#especially with evidence! i mean we never even get to see an actual dead human body in dead plate but we KNOW manon is gone#i don't know i just love small details and foreshadowing and implications it's very fun to unpack them in a plot#i even technically have a lot to say about rody and vincent's respective apartments and what it says about them as a person and how it fits#im kind of nervous about posting it to tumblr but whatever. i'll have to clean it up and post it whenever i think about it#if you got this far then congrats. i don't even know if people read tags anymore
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i love being friends with girls and then they get a boyfriend and then he becomes the center of her entire existence and all she talks about and all she focuses on and i sit there and i smile and i nod and i feel myself becoming genuinely evil
#shut up about your fucking boyfriend I DONT CARE#<< i never say that bc im not a horrible person but good god idk if im built for this#im crazy and im always a little bit in love with every girl i know its just how im built#like i guess its bc whenever ive dated someone i keep that shit to myself#like you have to torture me for me to admit anythings happening so when other people make it their whole personality#and totally abandon friendships bc OMG must focus 100% energy on some guy it just makes my eye twitch#and then when they wanna come crawling back omg he sucks he cheated i want your shoulder to cry on and im like well you didnt even text#me when my nana died last march so. cry on your own shoulder.#full admittance i am also a jealous person so theres a bit of crazy jealous jessie at play Always. I'm nothing if not honest#sorry kpoppers you get my insnae ramblings this friday night#i'll make up for it i'll post like bang chan ass shots or something tommorrow dont worry
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#personal post#will delete later#lol i may have just fucked up my credit#oh well#i need to take a step back and breathe#surgery is like. days away.#and to be fair insurance covered like.....99% of it#but bills + credit + this medical cost now i'm just like.#my head is spinning.#how am i supposed to save for my goals with *waves hands at debt pile* all of this#and i'm not even talking about /you/ *points accusatory finger at mountain of student loans*#anyway. guess i'll buy a powerball ticket later#that'll fix it#(it will most likely not fix it)
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if i reply to a quote retweet you made and your first thought is "oh this is that guy that this friend of mine made fun of before but i don't even know him, i should use that in-joke here lol kek" i think you may have something wrong with you if you just go straight to that. just no restraint at all huh
#''there's like 15 cardiacs fans and they all know each other'' well then i fucking hate the cardiacs as a band then. never listened to them#but i don't care anymore. i don't have to try something to know i won't like it especially when an ex friend has soured it#i guess sometimes my life is just a series of lose-lose situations but hey im still fuckin kicking. im stull breathing and living#blah blah blah im just gonnashut up who the fuck cares. hahah ahhaahah ''fautfur undertones'' ooheheheheheheh i'll DRAW MTYSELF ON A THRONE#TO MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR SAYING THAT#HAHAAH I'M SOOOO OCOOOOL fucking asshole. okay enough of this sorry guys back to your regularly scheduled posting of whatever the hell i li
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Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers
I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.
But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!
There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.
Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.
And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖
#once again had no inspiration to write for hours. but at least i managed to finish it before midnight#(this was supposed to be short btw)#and anyway i guess that this is the point when i can't help but get even more personal than usual#but fuck it we post anyway. i wouldn't let myself just not post so far into the month#maybe someone else can relate or someone can also gain hope that yes there are goals that you really can reach actually#if you really want it you know. i know it's easy to think that it all sucks and leads you nowhere. that's how it USUALLY feels to me anyway#but there are at least those moments when i can finally realize that man i've come so far#like. for real. it's true. i actually did the thing!!!!! you know#but uh well. not entirely happy with this post as usual but this is the best i could come up with today#well it's such a good thing that i can actually think and talk about sparks literally always#so this doesn't have to be some kind of final statement about it all from me. yay!#and yeah as i said the maels' bond is very touching to me so i had to highligh it a bit today#so have some good-spirited big brother bullying lol. and wow making it look like an old photograph was actually not that hard#but the poses WERE a struggle to get right i'll admit#and now just to find something more in me to say still on latte day and on the final day...#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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I believe Kamala- despite every word she has ever spoken on the matters- is actually deeply pro-Palestine, pro-trans & overall a progressive hero, because I understand that when democrats say repugnant reactionary things while campaigning they are actually lying! which is good & normal for so-called democratic elections!!!!! if you listen to the gnomes who live inside my walls you'll understand her real values, which she'll totally pinky promise act upon once you reward her lies & elect her! you dumb third party voters would understand this if u payed attention in civics class 💅💅💅
#do you votescold blue no matter whos even hear yourselves#like i say this from the glass house of mental illness i too live in but yall are fucking clinically deranged#'u see the good guys will lie to us to seem like bad guys until the season 4 finale when plot twist reveals thay r good!' LUNACY!!!#santa clause is more real than a promise out of the mouth of a democrat i am BEGGING liberals to understand (and give a shit about) this#sorry i guess unlike the 'injustice sensitivity' many american neurospicies love using as a shield for when they do racist things i just#have boring I Dont Like Being Lied To autism which uh is preventing me from (well a lot!) getting on the imperialism train that many#of you are twisting yourselves into pretzels of cognitive dissonance & ahistorical nonsense in order to cope with!#vote if you want idgaf but stop posting electoral cope!!! stop seeking absolution for the crimes youre cosigning!! you cant have it all!!!!#i'll see you in another 4 years when nothing has been done about climate catastrophe or genocide or lgbtq rights or reproductive rights#bc if- and its still a huge if- kamala wins i know for FACT the usual suspects are already cooking up excuses as to why she cant follow thr#through on any of the crumbs of progressive policy she claims to stand by. its already the senates or SC fault right 🙄#ugh anyway now im just going down the 'every easily identifiable lie of the dems that I'M somehow the bad guy for noticing' rabbit hole#and that leads to nowhere but madness and an afternoon wasted 😤
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nah cuz I would pass away if someone asked me if I was into them 😭 but CONGRATS ON GETTING THE DATE!! I hate to say we told you so, but we definitely told you so 😌💅
Bro I literally short circuited lmaoooo like it was not cute and I almost died fr. But yeah, date secured ahskaksk y'all were right 😭 it still feels so surreal lmao I'm still vibrating about it
#not snz#like what do you mean it doesn't have to be a hopeless crush forever ahdkaksk#I'm so scared I'm gonna fuck it all up ahskkaksls#like I've never dated anyone and the most I've ever done is peck a couple friends on the lips bc we were thirteen and curious 😭#idk how to do any of the relationship stuff like where tf is the instruction manual#and i know damn well this guy has dated people and i have to assume he's got a body count#which is fine obviously but i have no experience here like I'm completely out of my element 😭#idk like maybe I'm way overthinking it but I'm still like 😩#need to circle back to the concerns bit of the conversation bc i have several now lmao#like i feel like they're concerns for (hopefully) way later down the line#but i don't wanna be months into this and then realize that we're incompatible for one reason or another#like i need all the potential deal breakers laid out now so neither of us waste our damn time ahsksjksdk#i guess i can bring it up on Saturday 😭#it should be an in person conversation i just know I'm gonna be so fucking awkward 😭#hopefully that's part of my charm to him bc he seems to like all the other things about me that i don't particularly like myself LMAO#anyway on a completely different note#wtf do cishet men even like ahdkakskak like can i send him cute little wholesome memes or is that weird#I'm too gay for this shit lmao why would i do this to myself#like do i get to send him sweet little texts or do they not like that kinda thing#i wanna romance him i just don't know how ahdkkakss maybe I'll bake him something idk#I'll sleep on it i guess lmao#partner posting
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oh sorry, did i not lick your boots enough when i wrote that image description for you? my bad
people's accessibility discord, for your ID needs
#chirping#yes i have a toxic relationship w ids. no i'm not changing#i don't really. i'm more just so petty against the people who ignore them#but this is how it feels sometimes genuinely#i gotta write a paragraph in the tags wow this is so perfect ur a god amongst men now please do a lowly thing like me a favor and#hit two buttons on your phone slash computer.... i know it's so much effort so i included some handy instructions for how to hit two fucking#buttons on your phone slash computer#it's just so fucking annoying#like look i did this thing for you at no benefit and at every cost to myself that by all accounts You were supposed to do. but yeah if you#want to ignore me then please be my fucking guest. and i'm not allowed to get mad about that at all?!#''i don't have the energy'' ME NEITHER. BUT GUESS WHAT I'M FUCKING DOING#i've given the people's accessibility discord link so many times#actually let's add that to this post hold on#done. whatever#i'll add it to my pinned as well#i've also said this a million times but if you describe ur own art Tag Me In It!!!#i want to see it! i wanna reblog it!!!!!#god whatever. i have errands to run. contrary to popular belief i have a life outside of profusely giving and giving to a thankless job
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I hate when something looks like it would be RIGHT up your alley and the cast is pretty stacked, but there's one person in said cast who is just. Genuinely a horrible human being.
#and then for the sake of. not giving that one person my time or attention or anything. I see no way beyond just not watching the thing#OBVIOUSLY the focus should be the people who were hurt by said horrible human being#that IS in fact the important consideration here#I guess this is more...really just the fact that it happens so often?#because there are COUNTLESS examples to draw from of this particular type of Horrible Behavior and similar variations of it#like the entertainment industry is just. SO bad.#and that makes it unsafe for the people WHO ARE LITERALLY JUST TRYING TO MAKE ART#(and tangentially makes it harder for other people to engage with that art or acknowledge the work those other Not-Horrible people#put in. like congratulations you did direct and lasting harm to others. which in and of itself is a point of condemnation--the MOST#IMPORTANT point of condemnation. and then ON TOP OF that. extraneously. to add insult to injury. you secondhand-ruined#the experience of other people partaking in the sharing of and engagement with art.)#'well mc13 you could just watch it anyway it doesn't have to be done through streaming'#maybe other people could do that but I personally cannot handle engaging with this at all. it would stress me out and sicken me to#the point where there wouldn't be anything good to come out of watching it. I PERSONALLY cannot make peace with that.#I have...a LOT of thoughts on the idea of 'separating art from artist' and maybe I'll scream about them someday. but I do recognize that#there IS some nuance to the discussion when it comes to like...idk. people who have been kicked out of a project and then replaced once#their behavior came to light. or artists who are dead and cannot gain any kind of benefit from people engaging with their work anymore.#and looking at things considering the severity of the behavior in question and whether it seems like reformative justice is possible#like I do think there are things to be talked about. I agree there can't be One Magic Answer For All Cases Ever.#but the fact of the matter is...the hard line for what's actually unacceptable is...virtually nonexistent. and that shouldn't be the case.#this is past MY hard line. which yes does make it inconvenient in the sense of 'I cannot engage with a thing that sounds interesting' but#mostly I am just reminded over and over again of how insidious this industry is and how easily people get fucked up by it and it just...#it's so bleak. I don't want people to suffer when they're trying to make art. I don't want people to be unsafe. I remember when *I* was#experiencing those things and everyone around me was experiencing those things. I do not want ANYONE else to have to#go through that. EVER.#(<-this isn't like. COMPLETELY related to my previous post. I'm trying to organize my watchlist and I'm gonna. have to make some changes.)
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Kai and Aoi's tweets 11-14 June
#the gazette#I CANT BELIEVE AOI USED THE _(:3 」 ∠)_ KAOMOJI I LITERALLY SCREAMED??#I've been having a Moment going through super old tweets and remembered that he loved tweeting this stupid thing so much. and i love it#its funny and also bad. its so aoi#maybe he's been feeling nostalgic as well#btw when he tweeted that its hot? sis it was like 38 degrees here when you tweeted that :3#anyway also hi kai.#i cant believe aoi tweets literally every day i love him.#unironically worried about ruki tho#man i hope he's okay#ALSO I FUCKING HATE THAT I MISS OUT ON AOI'S TWEETS BECAUSE I HATE TWITTER? I WAS JUST PROCRASTINATING SLEEP#AND THOUGHT HUH MAYBE AOI TWEETED SOMETHING. AND HE JUST NEVER STOPPED TWEETING?? hate it here why does no one post their tweets on tumblr.#guess I'll fucking do that then. gotta do everything myself in this house#gazette tw#the gazette twitter#aoi twitter#kai twitter
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#sage's diary#018#1/26/2025#wow! two diary posts within 24 hours?! its a christmas miracle!!!#anyways im going insane#this keeps fucking happening man 😭😭😭#unlike every other time though its been consistent thoughts like i wouldve had with my bf before we got together#and thats. almost scaring me#moreso just because im scared of the feelings not being mutual or reciprocated#ive kept trying to remind myself that it probably wouldnt work out anyways cause of distance and other reasons#but its been getting harder to internalize that. im getting too hopeful i fear#i just wonder if he even feels the same way back. let alone consider me an option#im shocked ive been doing as well as i have been mentally with this fucking rollercoaster of feelings#especially considering before it was feelings towards more than one person#now its just back to. one. and now it feels like theres more pressure to DO something about it#part of me hopes at some point he'll get the hint and see the signs. but im also scared for that to happen#so i'll just keep fantasizing i guess#same old same old#(edit @12:22am 1/27: adding onto this 4-5 hours later but)#(part of my guilt with these feelings is also that a good chunk of what im feeling towards him is mostly sexual)#(which just makes me feel more bad about my hypersexuality if anything)#(like i wish i could just have ONLY romantic thoughts about a person and not entirely just want to get freaky nasty w them)#(idk man i wish i just experienced attraction like a normal person. is all im sayin)#(hopping off now for da night o7)
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