#well fuck balin

[reddy-reads]

Well fuck Balin

This is one of my favorite lines! It makes me smile every time

thoughts with spoilers for murderbot 6

Reasons "Well fuck Balin" is a great line

JollyBaby going "nah Balin is a manager" and MB being like "wait Balin doesn't lift heavy things because it's a manager? UGH" is just funny and relatable

It's also MEMORABLE

This means that later on, when we learn more about Balin, I'm not like "uh whomst the fuck?"

(I have a so-so memory and frequently struggle to keep track of different characters' names)

AND it's important that we remember Balin

I seriously think this one line is just... really incredible from a "how does the story fit together" point of view.

It's memorable, but it doesn't draw too much attention to itself. It's short and unobtrusive.

It's memorable because it's funny. It's not obvious like a character, I dunno, ominously standing in the shadows with its eyes/indicator lights turning red.

It helps the story function. Imagine how much worse the story would function if Balin was completely unmemorable.

And that's why "Well fuck Balin" is one of my favorite murderbot lines of all time.

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Imagine breaking the dwarves out of the dungeons of The Woodland Realm.

Ori: "We're never gonna reach the mountain are we?" *He laments*

Bilbo: "Not stuck in here, you're not." *Jingles the keys*

Y/N appears, eating a cake?

Y/N: "Didya know they were having a feast? Bloody good food they have. And the wine! You guys want any? I think I can go-"

Balin: "Bilbo!"

*All erupt into excited chatter*

Y/N: "Wha- What am I? Chopped liver?"

*Munches angrily*

Kili: "It's okay Y/N I'll share with you!"

Fili: "Yeah, come on give us some!"

*Y/N grins and breaks the cake into three pieces.*

Bilbo: "Shh! There are guards nearby!"

*One by one they escape down to the cellar.*

Bofur: "You're suppose to be leading us OUT! Not further in!"

Bilbo: "I know what I'm doing."

Bofur: "Shh!"

Bilbo: "Into the barrels! Quickly now."

Dwalin: "Are you mad? They'll find us."

Bilbo: "No no, they won't I promise you. Please, please you must trust me"

Thorin: "Do as he says."

*They clamber in and Y/N stays out.*

Y/N: "Go Bilbo. into the barrel with Thorin quickly."

Thorin: "Y/N, what are you-"

Y/N: "I will see you at the gate."

Balin: "What gate?"

Y/N: "Hold your breath everyone."

*Y/N pulls the lever and they are all dropped into the river.*

Y/N: "Well, that was fun! Now, let's play some hide and seek shall we?"

*Y/N slips past the guards and out of the palace and up into the light. They spot the dwarves in the river and begins her run towards them*

Legolas: "Shut the gate" (in Sindarin)

Y/N: "No no! Don't do that!"

The guards look at her strangely before beginning to shut the gate.

*Y/N groans and mumbles*

Y/N: "This is gonna hurt like a bitch isn't it. Where's Tauriel when you need her. Stupid world doesn't even have her in it. Stupid movie made me think she was an actual character"

*She huffs while running towards the gate*

Y/N "ORCS! WATCH OUT!"

*A guard is stuck by an arrow.*

Y/N: "Fucks sake."

*The Orcs rampage through the top of the closed gates, persuing fights with the Elven guards.*

Bofur: "Orcs! Watch out!"

Bolg: "Slay them all" (Dark Speech)

*Y/N fires an arrow at him, striking him in the arm*

Y/N: "Take a shower, you STINK."

*Y/N runs towards the fighting dwarves.*

*Kili spots the lever to open the gate.*

Y/N: "NO, STAY PUT. DON'T MOVE KILI."

*Y/N dashes towards him while he gets up to pull the lever.*

Y/N: "NO."

*Bolg pulls out Y/N's arrow from his arm and draws his own, notching it in his bow. He aims it at Kili.*

Y/N: "KILI."

*Y/N lunges towards Kili, pushing him out of the way, the arrow strikes her through the leg. With a gasp she doubles over, clutches onto the lever and pulls it down.*

Y/N: "Ah, fuck."

A/N

For continuance sake, don't read ahead if you want to follow the normal story line. However if you wish to read this as a separate imagine read ahead!

*She gasps and struggles to stand. She bites down on her lip and forces the arrow out, snapping off the feathered end and pulling it out. Kili drags her over the edge of the gate and Y/N slips into a barrel with him below*

Kili: "Y/N! Y/N I'm so sorry I should have listened I-"

Y/N cries out in pain as they tumble down the stream, each knock jolting her wound.

Y/N: "Apologies later. Escape now."

*The company battles the Swarm of Orcs from the stream whilst drifting down the stream, aided by Legolas and his army.*

Thorin: "Anything behind us?"

Nori: "Not that I can see!"

Bofur: "I think we've out run the Orcs."

Thorin: "Not for long. We've lost the current."

Dwalin: "Bombur's half drowned."

Thorin: "Make for the shore! Come on let's go!."

Øin: "Glóin, help me brother."

Kili: "Y/N is hurt. Her leg needs binding."

Y/N Groans quietly before answering.

Y/N: "I'm fine. Not able to die, Just hurts. Better me than Kili. Orc pack on our tail, Need to..

*Y/N grits her teeth*

Need to keep moving."

Thorin: "To where? There's a lake between us and that mountain you need that rest."

Y/N: "A barge, a man will have a boat. Help me up, I'll show you the way. Let's go."

*Kili and Fili lift her up and they hobble away.*

Y/N: "I should do this more often if it means two pretty men will carry me."

Thorin: "I think not. Next time, I will carry you over my shoulder and you will have no say."

*Y/N blinks owlishly.*

[to-fall-or-not-to-fall]

bagginshield fic recs!!

Planning Your Perfect Dwarven Wedding by Meg_Thilbo

what the title says, fifteen chapters of Bilbo being confused af by dwarven culture and just trying to get his wedding in order

I Got Married In Erebor And All I Received Was Disrespect From My Entire Company by thisislegit

thorin is too much of a coward to tell bilbo they're not actually married by dwarven customs and the others are done

A Pretty Face by panickyintheuk

apparently thorin is ugly and bilbo has not gotten the memo

What To Expect by alkjira

they have children and there is a possibly magical cat and a hamster

It was a Fine, Bright Morning: Perfect for Murder. by meyari

wherein the hobbits have had enough of lobelia and the dwarves are traumatized

The REAL White Council by orphan_account

azog is the only real one here, if you haven't sacrificed an arm for your otp are you really even trying

Well. Fuck. by ThyLocalBard

bilbo is angry and gandalf is a traitor

When Silver Fails by amethystviolist

they get together and stuff idk but it's really well-written

A Hobbit Prince for a Dwarf King by bebel_bee

balin wtf i mean it worked but

The Nine Children Appropriated By Thorin Oakenshield (And The One He Didn't Want For Himself) by Shay_Moonsilk

thorin does his best impression of tony stark and everyone is so done

between friends (and the occasional lover) by sepulchralsymphonies

thorin is a better actor than he seems

Take My Hand by Erulisse_Manwathiel

so by dwarven standards bilbo has been dating literally everyone they meet and thorin is concerned

The Grace of Yavanna by chrystal896

hobbits are really frickin weird ok

Siege of Erebor by airebellah

a great battle for the ages

Clothing Wars by JaceDexter

i for one cannot believe the elves agreed to that but then again it was bilbo asking so

Bilbo Baggins's Greatest Burglary by MordorIsCalling

dwarves

Galadriel's Hairpin Box by Erudammit, orphan_account

gandalf makes questionable decisions and smaug dies a lot

A Complaint A Day... by birdkeeperklink (speculating)

bilbo complains a lot one of the great mysteries of erebor

Say the Magic Words by birdkeeperklink (speculating)

hobbits have interesting ways of problem-solving and also magic that too

a tale of ivory table cloth and ruined weddings by Imagined, rottingflower, Scarlet_Ribbons

thorin may have forgotten to propose a little bit oops

[coveredinsun]

at the first reclaimed-erebor press conference the reporter dwarves are like, “🎤 balin son of fundin can you deny or confirm the rumors about thorin oakenshield and bilbo baggins?” to which balin leans forward and says, “🎤 well. you know how unflattering it would be to speak ill of the dead. which won’t be a problem because it’s not speaking ill to let the record show that, yes, they did in fact fuck nasty a couple times. and you can quote me on that because i’m like 95% sure it’s what king thorin would want”

[nolonger-roses]

The actors (specially Richard Armitage) really said fucked it and made one of the best ships

“Thorin is coming over a little queer”- Martin Freeman

https://thistie.tumblr.com/post/109111445881/martin-being-43-years-old-during-botfa-press

“It’s a way of seducing Bilbo to come on the quest with us”- Richard Armitage about the Misty Mountain song. 

“And that’s how I see it. And they sit in harmony with each other, I think, and are changed by each other.”- Richard Armitage 

https://thefantasy.news/2012/12/11/dreaming-of-thorin-an-interview-with-richard-armitage/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAvfcgIzfiY

And there was an interview where Ken Stotts (Balin’s actor) was asked about the face Balin makes when Bilbo can’t say what Thorin is for him 

Ken said “Well, Balin knew how Thorin felt about Bilbo, so he wanted Bilbo to know how special he was for him... I think that’s what he wanted”

https://emsiecat385997027.wordpress.com/2018/12/16/my-question-to-ken-stott-at-hobbitcon-yeah-its/

[brainrotbabe24]

Thorins company with a reader who constantly makes fun of their height? Lol cause I so would

Hi! So this was super fun! Thank you! The writing is kinda "short," but I got to find so many cute "little" gifs (hehe get it) 😉😉

Reader Makes Fun of the Company’s Height:

Balin: Balin laughs at your joke and would "warn" against saying it to a few members. "I would watch it love a few of them have "short" fuses," he chuckles. 

Dwalin: Dwalin is ready to fight you. "You calling me short, you fool," he says, cracking his knuckles. I feel like he hates the jokes but likes you too much to fight you....

Side note: I imagine this GIF is how it happens. He gets all grumpy and ready to fight, and you just stand up with a smirk.

Óin: Would place things low so you would need to bend down. Such a petty bitch. I love it

Glóin: Not having it! He would get so red and mad, having to step away before he said something stupid.  

Bifur: Bifur would yell at you in khuzdul. I could see him kicking your shin as well.

Bofur: "I'm your smol dwarf, though." he says with his hat in his hands! How cute 💖💖💖

Bombur: He would give you smaller portions of dinner, stating, "When you are nice, you get more food." 

Ori: He can't handle the jokes. He would stumble over his words, trying to find the right thing to say, but he would be a mess of emotions.

Dori: He would be flustered and offended. "ME! Short! How dare you-"

Side note: I know another john mulaney gif lol ... but it worked so well hehe

Nori: Nori is quick with his comebacks! "Oh, you think this is a joke, beanstalk? How about next time you look down at me, you do it while I've got you pinned against the wall?"

Thorin: Thorin would give you the "don't fucking start" look lol

sidenote: I love this GIF, and it works perfectly because he looks up!!!!!!

Fíli: He plays along, loving the jokes! "Short…. I'm a short king, darling." he would say with a cheesy smile

Kíli: "I might be small in size, but I promise you...I have something much bigger you'll appreciate." what a smooth talker lol

Bilbo: I had a whole other idea for him, but after looking at this GIF, I had to change it. idk what this GIF is from, but I love it! Like, could you imagine yourself being super tall compared to hobbits, and this is like something that could happen 😭😂😂 He would be terrified, and the jokes would only make it worse, lol

[tossawary]

So, the Jackson "The Hobbit" movies get rid of the dwarves having musical instruments, rather adding a very atmospheric humming to the "Over the Misty Mountains" song. And I like this adaptational choice just fine, I think it sounds good, and because the question of "What happens to the instruments? Are they taking clarinets and a harp and etc. on the quest?! Are the musical instruments magical?" has bugged me for years. And I do think this choice suits the general *waves hand vaguely* more "serious / grim / lower high fantasy" aesthetic cultivated by the previous Jackson "Lord of the Rings" films.

But I do like the mental image of the Company being a very literal band going on a quest, because I think it's funny and delightful and unique. If I was doing an animated movie in particular, I would not like to be rid of the musical instruments during that scene. The vibe is very magical. Very whimsical. And whimsy does not have to be wholly separate from very serious subject matters! I think it would be very cool if the dwarves had more casually magical tools generally, which would do some easy additional worldbuilding for the level of craftsmanship in this world, and could fit in perfectly well alongside hidden doors and invisibility rings and mithril shirts and glowing swords and jewelry that never comes accidentally undone.

If someone did a version where all the dwarves are carrying musical instruments throughout most of the quest in this way and the creator really leaned into the music generally and audio-visual relationship in film specifically, I would absolutely watch it. That sounds amazing. It wouldn't necessarily have to be a musical or an opera as well, though that would also be extremely cool. (Personally, I would even also watch a "Fantasia" version of "The Hobbit" FOR SURE. I am an artsy dork like that. Though it might not be my first choice in my ideal creative project.)

I think you could could do some great, whimsical scenes with the dwarves singing at various points on the road, the musical instruments breaking at certain emotional points, the dwarves trying to do little musical spells at various points, and so on. A lot of this stuff could even just be other members of the Company fussing around with these things in the background (trying to play a musical spell to light a fire) while Bilbo has a foreground conversation with Thorin or Gandalf or something. I LOVE in animated (and live) movies when you can see supporting characters bickering or getting into hijinks in the background of a scene. (Also, this world was sung into being in a way, wasn't it? Why not have more magical music?)

(OHHH, the way that Smaug could be done in a more audio- and music-focused version of "The Hobbit" would be SO COOL.)

Alternatively, generally, I've also imagined that there are other dwarves with wagons nearby to take the musical instruments away again (let's say the instruments are not magical in any way and taking them along would therefore largely just be impractical), and that the night at Bilbo's house was actually also a RITUAL meal/meeting for the members of a long journey. You're going on a quest? You seclude yourself with your company, eat, drink, talk, plan, and sing a little to bond as an exclusive group the night before heading off together. Normally, this would have been done back at their own home or something, but they had to get their burglar first.

I think this would be a cool way to slip in characters like Dis and Gimli even just in the background, as family members come to see everyone off, seen fixing Kili's hair or hugging Gloin as the Company prepares to leave Hobbiton that last morning. Thorin and Balin could be exchanging a couple quick lines about how Bilbo hasn't shown up yet, and in the background, we could see Dis hugging Fili (the true purpose of a well-done adaptation of "The Hobbit" is to break my fucking heart) and Gloin's wife drawing off with a wagon full of musical instruments while young Gimli waves tearfully! You wouldn't even have to have them say anything to slip them in!

Just... I'm listening to the Andy Serkis audiobook of "The Hobbit" right now and I want to see some gloriously artsy visual adaptations of this world.

[kililvr]

OIN : i have a question

THORIN : shoot

OIN : is the s or c in scent silent?

KILI : fuck you, i'm going to be thinking about this all day

FILI : okay, well, cent is pronounced the same as scent so i'm going to say the s is silent

BALIN : okay but sent is also pronounced the same way

BOFUR : plot twist, both the s and the c are silent and the e actually makes the sss sound

DWALIN : bofur is not allowed to talk anymore

[betyloca]

giant cat and little mouse

summary: you are a were jaguar who joined Thorin's company thanks to Gandalf but a certain hobbit always follows you like a shadow

you were escaping with the dwarves from the orcs you ran as fast as you could some of the dwarves were fighting them until they surrounded them you looked behind you you saw bilbo who was hiding behind you he looked scared you put an arm in front of him in a protective manner

you saw some grubs approaching showing their teeth you noticed that gandalf found a cave that would take them to Riverdale you looked at bilbo saying

y/n: Bilbo, when I distract them, run to the cave.

Bilbo: What?

y/n: run just run

you told him you started running towards the guargos while you transformed into a jaguar you pounced on them biting and scratching them you saw how bilbo ran to the cueba

You began to finish them one by one until more began to arrive "fuck" you thought until you heard a sound and arrows began to shoot at the bows and guargos you saw elves fighting with them until they left

An elf saw you and pointed an arrow at you. You growled at him in warning.

elrond: stop she is not a danger

guard: but it's a beast

Elrond: It's not, she is y/n.

approaching said while examining some scratches on your back.

Elrond: You were hurt, we will take you to Riverdale.

He said, stroking your head as he headed to his horse to head to Riverdale. You followed them even in your jaguar form. You couldn't transform into a human. You still didn't have any clothes.

Hacecandoce said while examining some scratches on your back.

When you arrived you saw the dwarves, the hobbit and Gandal safe, which relieved you.

They were on guard when they noticed the elves, but even more so when they saw you clearly, you forgot to tell them that you were turning into a jaguar.

gloin: what creature is that?

balin: it's a jaguar

Fili: Why would they bring him?

You began to move while you saw how they looked at you with fear except for the hobbit, he began to move slowly while you stayed still.

Oín: Bilbo, what are you doing?

Thorin: Bilbo come back here

He didn't pay attention. He stayed looking at you until he placed his hand on your face. You looked at it, resting your head on it. He smiled, caressing you while you purred.

Bilbo: It's Y/N.

Kili: What?

Bilbo: I saw her turn into a jaguar

Gandalf: It's true, she is a were jaguar.

~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~~•~~~~~~~

It was night you were walking through the gardens without being able to sleep you were looking at the stars your wounds had been healed you were wearing a dress that they had lent you you were deep in thought when you felt a familiar smell you hid behind a column when you noticed Bilbo coming out of his room hiding looking for you you stood behind him whispering to him

y/n: who are you looking for, my beautiful prey?

Bilbo jumped in fright, turning around to look at you nervously.

Bilbo: I just walked to no one

y/n: okay

You said passing by him as you walked, he followed you in silence until you reached a bench where you sat down.

y/n: sit down or do you plan to stand

He sat next to you while playing with his fingers.

y/n: and tell me what you plan to do next

Bilbo: After what?

y/n: from this adventure

He looked at you thoughtfully.

Bilbo: I didn't think about it and you?

y/n: I don't know either

Bilbo: well if you want you can come to my house and we could have tea

you giggled

y/n: okay that sounds good

They remained silent until he spoke again.

Bilbo: Does it hurt when you transform?

You looked at him he seemed a little worried.

y/n: no when it was the first time yes but not now

he let out a sigh

y/n: you know, I have never seen a creature that was not afraid of me, men, dwarves, even elves are afraid of me, but a little hobbit was not afraid of me, that is having courage.

Bilbo: why value?

You started to make him care more while you made him feel smaller than he was.

y/n: make you face a beast that you know very well would tear you to pieces in a few seconds and no one could help you.

You said as you saw how nervous he was and the blush that appeared on his cheeks.

Bilbo: And if the beast decides not to hurt me

you leaned into his ear, whispering to him

y/n: well you would be very lucky if it didn't touch you with its claws.

You said, letting out a growl as you ran your claw-like nails along his neck and up to his cheek. He shuddered, letting out a gasp.

You started to like how nervous he got

y/n: although I think you like that, that's not the case, my little prey.

You looked at him, you saw how blushing he was, he was a mess of nerves as you put your hand on his neck, caressing him with your claws.

y/n: or am I wrong?

Bilbo: Yes, I would like to.

You made yourself kiss his cheek until you reached his lips and he let out a gasp.

You continued kissing him until you separated from him you saw him gasping for air he looked at you blushing.

Y/N: You are such a cute little thing, you know that.

Bilbo: Yes

He said looking at the ground without wanting to see your gaze. You took it in your hands looking at it as if you were going to devour it.

Y/N: You know my little mouse wouldn't hurt you.

you said kissing him again without letting go this time.

You didn't know why you liked how nervous you made him but you suspected it was your mating season.

[conundrumoftime]

Galadriel and Celeborn in earlier drafts of LOTR (part 1)

Since Twitter is getting closer to unusable I'm going to try to collect up more of my various scattered-thought meta-y threads from there into more coherent form on here. So first off: Galadriel's first appearance in Tolkien's early drafts of LOTR, and what I find so interesting about it! (This is all from The Treason of Isengard, the seventh book in the History of Middle-earth series.)

Beginning by throwing in this delightful little footnote in which Tolkien considered making Galadriel x Elrond canon :)

A second rejected note was written at some time later against Haldir's words 'they bring me a message from the Lord and Lady of the Galadrim': Lord? If Galadriel is alone and is wife of Elrond.

Anyway!

So this is the earliest appearance of Galadriel in any of Tolkien's writings, and Tolkien's writing process and approach to his whole mythology and the characters within it is so evident from the way he so clearly creates her, looks at what he's created, and thinks "oh she's got to be important" and then starts to weave her into all the earlier First and Second-Age stories.

As the notes and drafts of the Lothlorien chapters evolve Galadriel's role becomes more important and Celeborn's less. Some of the lines she gets in LOTR were his in earlier drafts, eg "your quest is known to us, but we will not speak of it openly"; Christopher Tolkien's notes say of one change that Galadriel ‘expresses the opinion previously given to Keleborn, and more decisively’. (It's funny to me in this context that the line Celeborn is best known for after the films, the "where is Gandalf" one, is Galadriel's in the book.)

Intriguingly the Mirror is in the earlier drafts & notes Celeborn's - it first appears as the 'Mirror of King Galdaran' (an earlier name for him) - and he's apparently the one who tells Frodo and Sam what it shows. Then it's his mirror, but she's the one who uses it; then finally it's just hers.

The earlier draft of their introduction:

On two seats at the further end [of the room] sat side by side the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien. They looked tall even as they sat, and their hair was white and long. They said no word and moved not, but their eyes were shining.

Compared to the LOTR version:

On two chairs beneath the bole of the tree and canopied by a living bough there sat, side by side, Celeborn and Galadriel. They stood up to greet their guests, after the manner of Elves, even those who were accounted mighty kings. Very tall they were, and the Lady no less tall than the Lord; and they were grave and beautiful. They were clad wholly in white; and the hair of the Lady was of deep gold, and the hair of the Lord Celeborn was of silver long and bright; but no sign of age was upon them, unless it was in the depths of their eyes; for these were keen as lances in the starlight, and yet profound, the wells of deep memory.

That draft names them as 'Keleborn and Galadriel', but JRRT's earlier notes give other names: Tar and Finduilas -> Aran and Rhien -> Galdaran and Galdri(e)n -> Galathir and Galadhrien. Celeborn also appears randomly as 'Arafain' at one point. (Interesting that Tolkien dropped the Gal- entirely from Celeborn's name in the end but named his brother 'Galathil'; in my head they're twins.)

In this early draft Celeborn also has quite a detached and thoughtful approach to the news of the Balrog in Moria, compared to his eventual dialogue in LOTR which reads more like "the dwarves woke up a fucking what?"

Early draft:

“Tell me the full tale,' said Keleborn. Ingold [= Aragorn] then recounted all that had happened upon the pass of Caradras and afterwards; and he spoke of Balin and his book and the fight in the Chamber of Mazarbul, and the fire, and the narrow bridge, and the coming of the Balrog. 'A Balrog!' said Keleborn. "Not since the Elder Days have I heard that a Balrog was loose upon the world. Some we have thought are perhaps hidden in Mordor [?or] near the Mountain of Fire, but naught has been seen of them since the Great Battle and the fall of Thangorodrim. I doubt much if this Balrog has lain hid in the Misty Mountains - and I fear rather that he was sent by Sauron from Orodruin, the Mountain of Fire."

and LOTR:

'I saw Durin's Bane,' said Gimli in a low voice, and dread was in his eyes. 'Alas!' said Celeborn. 'We long have feared that under Caradhras a terror slept. But had I known that the Dwarves had stirred up this evil in Moria again, I would have forbidden you to pass the northern borders, you and all that went with you. And if it were possible, one would say that at the last Gandalf fell from wisdom into folly, going needlessly into the net of Moria.' 'He would be rash indeed that said that thing,' said Galadriel gravely.

Both versions have Galadriel's giving a similar-ish description of who they are and how she knows Gandalf, but you can see how much more significant her role in the events of the Third Age has become by the final LOTR version:

Early draft:

'Your quest is known to me,' said Galadriel, [?seeing] Frodo's look, 'though we will not here speak more openly of it. I was at the White Council, and of all those there gathered none did I love more than Gandalf the Grey. Often have we met since and spoken of many things and purposes.'

LOTR:

'Your quest is known to us,' said Galadriel, looking at Frodo. 'But we will not here speak of it more openly [...] I it was who first summoned the White Council. And if my designs had not gone amiss, it would have been governed by Gandalf the Grey, and then mayhap things would have gone otherwise.'

Her description of who she and Celeborn are, coming right after this, is also interesting to compare.

Early draft:

The lord and lady of Lothlorien are accounted wise beyond the measure of the Elves of Middle-earth, and of all who have not passed beyond the Seas. For we have dwelt here since the Mountains were reared and the Sun was young.

LOTR:

For the Lord of the Galadhrim is accounted the wisest of the Elves of Middle-earth, and a giver of gifts beyond the power of kings. He has dwelt in the West since the days of dawn, and I have dwelt with him years uncounted; for ere the fall of Nargothrond or Gondolin I passed over the mountains, and together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat.

Some things I find interesting about this:

the implication that they are both Noldor in this earliest version;

the change from both of them being accounted 'wise' to just him, lol Galadriel what happened here;

'a giver of gifts beyond the power of kings', especially reading this in the context of the Unfinished Tales versions of their 2nd Age story where they knew Sauron as Annatar, Lord of Gifts; sometimes you just get these intriguing insights into their marriage is what I'm saying.

this note!

An addition to the manuscript after the words 'for we have dwelt here since the mountains were reared and the sun was young' reads: 'And I have dwelt here with him since days of dawn, when I passed over the seas with Melian of Valinor, and together we have fought the long defeat.

This is definitely written after Tolkien had created the idea of the rebellion of the Noldor and of Melian and Thingol. So having Galadriel come to Middle-earth before the rebellion, with Melian, is presumably a way to separate her from being one of the exiles, in a way Tolkien later returned to with his very late conceptions of Galadriel and Teleri Celeborn setting out for Middle-earth separately. But I am so fascinated by the idea that this version of Galadriel just upped and left Valinor, along with one of the Maiar, because she... fancied a change?

Doubly fascinating to me if Tolkien was already thinking of Celeborn as Sindar in that version, because that means both Melian and Galadriel married Sindar royalty after coming to Middle-earth. And Melian's husband fell in love with her and got enchanted by her presence enough that he stayed in place for two hundred years as the forest grew up around him and caused all his people to abandon their journey to Valinor while they searched for him. The idea of Galadriel watching this La Belle Dame Sans Merci type of fairy tale unfold before her and then deciding she wants one too feels both somewhat terrifying and also like the sort of thing she might do.

Anyway, leaving this here for now because I have some fanfic to write and it's getting long enough already. Next time: Rings and the Mirror!

Part 2 is here

[itslulabee]

Participation (Ch.5)

~

Concubine

Thorin x OC (smut!!)

(part one, part two, part three, part four, part six)

Description; This fanfic is posted to my AO3 as well, it's basically just pure filth with my OC Kaia and five members of Thorin's Company, our final dwarf, Mr Oakenshield <3

MINORS DNI !!! they shag, duh...

AN; There's like no build up at the start we're jumping right in where we left off! NSFW shit right from the get-go under the cut ;)

Translations for any Khuzdul will be at the end! <3

~ <3 ~

Kaia and Dwalin stayed together on that rock for a while… long enough for Dwalin to make Kaia finish three more times. He was relentless, insatiable, turning Kaia into a sweaty, writhing wreck with his words, fingers, mouth and cock.

After Mahal knows how long, Kaia was sat on his lap, his arms wrapped around her and dragging his hand through her hair. Kaia could do nothing but lie against his firm body, humming in appreciation for his gentle caresses.

“This feels right.” She murmurs, nuzzling into his neck.

“Aye, it does, doesn’t it?” Dwalin says, his voice rumbling like thunder all around her. “Our sweet girl.” Kaia smiles against his chest, pressing a kiss to his peck before extracting her head. Giving him a dazed smile, he helps her stand up.

After being thoroughly fucked by four different dwarves, her body was certainly feeling it. Her legs were shaky and unstable, not to mention her hips ached and she was sure she was covered in bruises and hickeys across every inch of her skin.

But she had never felt so complete.

Dwalin rested a hand on her waist, his other coming to hold onto her hand. He kisses the crown of her head, and Kaia was taken back by how gentle he was in this moment. She had seen the grizzled warrior slaughter orcs by the dozen, wielding his axes as if they were an extension of himself, barely breaking a sweat in the process.

Mere minutes ago he had been holding her against him, bouncing her up and down his cock with the strength and fervour of a wild animal, his blue eyes on fire as he held her head in place to keep their eye contact.

But here he was, holding her upright as if she were a precious jewel, delicate and priceless. Kaia smiled up at him, and was rewarded with seeing his smile in return.

-

As the two approached camp, they could hear a loud conversation. Unmistakably the voices of Nori, Dori, Bofur and Bilbo, the latter sounding horrified.

Entering the small clearing, the conversation became clearer, and Kaia could clearly hear from Nori and Bofur that they were explaining Dwarvish customs in great detail to the hobbit, who was bright red and holding his hands over his ears. Dori was also red faced, telling Nori and Bofur to be quiet.

“You see, Bilbo, when a dwarrow cannot satisfy his One, it is custom for her to bring in another to satisfy her, sometimes her husband will even watch-” Bofur rambled.

“Please stop.” Bilbo says, deadpanned as he stared at the dirt below.

“Aw, give Bilbo some peace, Bofur.” Kaia calls, patting Bilbo’s shoulder as she passes.

The group turns to look at the new arrivals. Bofur’s face lights up at seeing her, whilst Nori’s eyebrows sky rocket into his hairline. Taking in Kaia’s dishevelled appearance, and the relaxed way Dwalin holds her, the group begins hollering.

“I cannot believe it!” Nori says, shaking his head. “She’s got to have broken a record for the amount of lovers taken in one night!”

“Watch your tongue, Nori.” Dwalin warns, walking Kaia over to sit next to Balin. Kaia gives the older dwarf a careful smile, anxious about his reaction to this new information.

But Balin beams, giving her a small hug, “Welcome to the family, lass!”

“Aye, welcome to the family, Dwalin!” Bofur says, wrapping one of his arms around the formidable body of the warrior in a half-hug, who rolled his eyes and grumbled something under his breath.

“How did the conversation with Thorin go?” Kaia asks, trying to keep her nerves at bay.

“Oh, I imagine it’s going fine.” Balin says, patting Kaia’s shoulder beside her.

“They’re still talking?” Kaia looks over at Bofur, “Why are you back?”

“Well the conversation got a bit heated and Fili basically shoved me out of it... I imagine our king did not appreciate my jokes all too much.” Bofur chuckles, walking over to Kaia to sit on the ground in front of her, his back to her. She opened her knees and he reclined back, sighing contentedly as she played with one of his pigtails.

“They’re arguing? About… well, all of us?”

“Can’t imagine it’ll be better when he finds out about Dwalin, too.” Nori shrugs, and Dori smacks him around the back of the head.

“I wouldn’t worry, dear. I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”

“Dwalin!” Thorin’s voice booms across the camp, and all heads spin to see the King Under the Mountain standing at the edge of the clearing. His eyes are fiery, narrowing them at everyone present. Both of his nephews are behind him, Fili rolling his eyes and Kili looking nervous.

When his eyes fall on Kaia, his expression is tense yet unreadable, he looks away from her quickly, giving Dwalin a pointed look, before turning on his heel.

With a quiet sigh, Dwalin stands, walking over to where the king is stalking away. Fili follows after his uncle, and Kili stays put to catch Kaia’s eye. When he does, he gives her a sweet smile, looking like he wants to say something, before Dwalin grabs him around the scruff of the neck and drags him to follow the others.

“Well, that’s just fantastic.” Kaia sighs, wrapping her arms around Bofur’s neck. His large, calloused hands wrap around her forearms, pressing delicate kisses along her skin.

“I’m sure it’s fine, lass.” Balin says, but his eyebrows are knitted together.

“Why’s he mad at Dwalin?” Ori asks, scribbling away into his notebook, his eyes flickering to Kaia and Bofur every so often.

“I imagine he heard him and Kaia going at it like rabbits.” Nori says, nudging his brother.

“What?!” Kaia asks, eyes wide and heart thumping, “Did you guys hear us?!”

“No, lass-” Balin starts.

“Luckily for us.” Bilbo cuts in, his head in his hands.

“-but Thorin, Fili and Kili were talking in the cave… it’s not too far from where you and Dwalin were… well, you know.” Balin’s voice is comforting, but Kaia can feel her stomach in knots.

“They heard it?!” Kaia says, feeling her face flush red.

“I heard it.” Bofur says softly, nipping her thumb with his teeth, a clear smile on his lips.

“Oh for the love of-”

“Kaia!” Another booming yell from Thorin, and Kaia jumped in her seat. “A word.”

Looking at Thorin, she could not figure out what he was thinking. He looked tense, his body maintaining his usual kingly posture but his hands were balled up by his side. Sighing, Kaia rose from her seat, crouching to whisper in Bofur’s ear.

“If I don’t return, he’s thrown me off the cliff.” Kaia says, kissing Bofur’s temple.

“See you down there then, lass.” Bofur jokes, giving her knuckles a kiss as she leaves.

Walking over to where Thorin stands, Fili, Kili and Dwalin pass her on their way back to the group. Fili kisses her cheek, giving her a hand a squeeze. Kili rests a hand on her cheek, nuzzling her nose.

“It’ll be fine, Amrâlimê.” He murmurs, kissing her gently before he follows after his brother. She watches them go, and feels a pair of lips against her temple, as Dwalin passes.

“Don’t let him scare you, lass.” Dwalin murmurs, before grabbing her ass, “You’re ours.”

Kaia blushes as he walks away, before turning back to look at the King Under the Mountain. He inclines his head behind him, and storms away. Sighing again, she follows him.

-

The pair end up at the mouth of a cave, Kaia following after Thorin as he stomped along the edge of the cliff. They were silent for a moment as Thorin looked out at the trees around them, and Kaia bit her fingernail as nerves crept up her spine.

Neither of them had had a conversation longer than a few seconds. He would throw out commands and thinly veiled insults about her being a human, and she would offer back her own, even less conspicuous complaints about him. After a while of this, Balin and Gandalf had told them to cease their childish behaviour, and the two had left it alone. Whatever they said to one another was a short question and a one worded answer.

But now, Kaia was courting his younger nephew, fucking his older one and heir, as well as his head of guard and closest friend, and the very eager, musical miner who just so happens to be a part of his Company.

Kaia worried if he thought this was some kind of power play. Seducing three of the most important people in his lives to get to his head. Perhaps he just thought she was a whorish human who had no right to be in any kind of relationship with the heirs of Durin. Mahal knows, but Kaia had a bad feeling.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Thorin sighed. He turned from the trees to look at her, his face blank but his eyes held a fire in them. Kaia gulped, readying herself for the verbal ass-kicking she is sure to get. Hopefully it’s just verbal…

“I hear you and Kili are courting?” Thorin asks, his voice gruff.

“Uh… yeah, he braided my hair this evening.”

“I’ve been told there is more information than that.” Thorin scoffs, walking over to the cave wall to lean against it, arms folded, “Why don’t you tell me, from your point of view, what has transpired this evening.”

Kaia’s mouth hangs open, finding herself lost for words for a moment. Thorin raises an eyebrow, waiting for her to start speaking.

“How much… do you want to know?” Kaia asks, avoiding his eyes.

“Do not leave out any details.”

“Surely the others have told you enough-”

“I said,” Thorin cuts in, his voice loud and commanding, “Do not leave out any details.”

Kaia swallows thickly, feeling her heart hammering. A small part of her was a little turned on by this side of Thorin, the kingly side of him. But, she really did not need to be distracted by those thoughts when he was clearly enraged by her.

“Alright.” Kaia murmurs, clearing her throat.

“Speak up.”

“Okay!” She exclaims, feeling her cheeks go red. “The others explained dwarvish courting rituals earlier, and made me and Bilbo aware of the concept of ‘lovers’. After, I, uh, went to bathe in the river. Kili came to talk to me, and… well…”

“Well…?” Thorin urged, growing impatient.

“He told me he cared about me. Then we… well, you know.”

“Assume I do not.”

“We… made love.” Kaia mumbles, and feels herself flush harder at Thorin’s condescending laugh.

“You ‘made love’?” He laughs, and Kaia feels herself grow angry.

“We fucked.” She says, her voice louder and stabler. “He told me he wanted me, then we kissed and I pushed him against a tree and took him into my mouth. Then he fucked me against the ground.”

Thorin has gone still, his eyebrows slightly raised to indicate his surprise, but the rest of him dares not move. His breath leaves him in a short huff, and he clears his throat.

“Go on.” He says, his voice slightly raspier.

“I didn’t cum.” Kaia shrugs, “Kili was very eager and I focused on making him feel good. Fili discovered us, and was outraged to find that Kili didn’t make me cum.

“Aye, that is disrespectful, and unbecoming from a son of Durin.” Thorin muses, shifting slightly. “What then?”

“Then Fili fucked me.” She continues, feeling emboldened for some reason. Perhaps it was because she could see a slight blush across the kings cheeks, and his breath was coming out more shallowed. “He used his mouth on me, made me cum with his tongue and his fingers. Then he also fucked me.”

“How many times did you cum?” Thorin asks, his eyes dark under his thick eyebrows.

“Three times.”

“Good.” The king states, resting his head back against the wall, his eyes half-lidded as he watched her. “Continue.”

“After, Kili asked me, formally, if I would wear his courting bead. I agreed, then I went to bathe, finally. Your nephews are very distracting.” A teasing lilt to her voice made Thorin sneer slightly at her, but she could tell he was trying to keep his kingly composure.

“I do now want to hear your snide comments, girl. What happened once you went to bathe?”

“Bofur found me. I had been gone a long time and he thought that the river would be free. It was not. I was in there… wet, naked…”

Kaia lifted her hand up, dragging her finger along her dress collar, a small gesture which could be seen as nothing, but she did it with intent.

Thorin’s breath quickened slightly, but he kept himself still, his eyes trying and failing to remain on her face.

“Bofur was sweet. He was unsure about joining me at first, he did not want to make me uncomfortable. But I wanted him, and he wanted me. We fucked on the bank.”

“How?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How did you fuck? What position?” Thorin’s voice is strained, his jaw ticking as one of his hands twitched beside him, wanting nothing more than to relieve some of the pressure his trousers are applying to his stiffening cock. He had to remain stoic, but Mahal he wanted to know… he wanted to hear it from her lips…

“I rode him.” Kaia states, her hand drifting down her torso, down the valley between her breasts to settle atop her stomach, the tips of her fingers playing with the buttons.

Thorin keeps his eyes on her face, his own stony. His hands remain by his side, his head tilted back as he watches her. But he refuses to let her win this game they have started.

“Did he make you finish?” He asks, voice even.

“Yes.” Kaia smile slightly, “Twice. He let me use his cock as I rode him, and I made him cum by pulling his hair… it seems your dwarvish obsession with your hair translates to the bedroom, huh?”

Thorin scoffs, shifting his shoulders to move his hair back. It cascades over his shoulders in dark, silver tinted waves. Kaia wonders what it feels like against her fingers, if he will cum feeling her tug on it the way Bofur did…

“You seem to be unable to be fully satisfied, Kaia. You had both of my nephews and Bofur, then decided you needed Dwalin as well?”

“Four talented and handsome dwarves offered themselves to me and you think I would refuse?” Kaia scoffs, rolling her eyes, whilst Thorin’s own narrow. “I have needs, Thorin… ones which have been thoroughly seen to.”

“I am glad, because they will not be being seen to again. Not by any member of my Company.”

Kaia’s face falls, she feels her heart stop in her chest at his words. He stares at her with indifference, and Kaia feels rage bubble up inside her.

“Is that so?”

“it is.”

“And how will you go about keeping that rule in place?” Kaia asks, taking a step towards him, “Will you keep an eye on all four of them to make sure none of them sneak away? To make sure none of them lay a hand on me?”

“I will take you back to your farm if I have to.” Thorin sneers, his voice clipped, “I will not have you jeopardising this quest with your feverish desires.”

“They are not just my desires, are they Thorin?” Kaia bites, crossing her arms over her chest, “They all wanted me as much as I wanted them-”

“You are a distraction-”

“I know. You’re distracted now, aren’t you?” Kaia cannot stop the words from tumbling out, but she feels greatly rewarded by the shock on the King’s face. His mouth hangs open slightly, his eyes wide. “Is that it?”

Thorin’s jaw tightens, and he narrows his eyes at her as she walks closer to him, standing right in front of the King Under the Mountain.

“Maybe you are just upset that you didn’t get to have me first… that your cock was not the one I was fucking myself on this evening-”

“Watch your tongue!”

“Why should I need to, you can watch it for me?” She darts her tongue out and drags it over his neck, expecting Thorin to shove her away. But he gasps, his head leaning back further to give her better access. Kaia hums, licking along his jaw and pressing a kiss to his beard.

“If you wanted me too, you could have just said.” She smiles against his skin, and she can feel him swallow hard.

“I’m their king, their leader. I cannot find myself distracted by urges like this, by desires you have put into my head.”

“Have you been distracted, my king?” Kaia murmurs, feeling hm shiver against her at the formal term, “How long have you wanted me?”

“Since the morning after the storm.” Thorin responds, far too driven by his lust to care about the repercussions of his honesty. “You have bewitched me.”

“Have I?” Kaia chuckles, leaning her head back. “I am no witch, Thorin Oakenshield, whatever you feel for me is caused by no spell.”

“It might as well be.”

Kaia pouts, taking a step from him. His hands move to pull her back, but he stops himself, cursing his immediate desire to keep her close.

“If you do not want me, my king, then all you have to do is say.” Kaia says, shrugging. Thorin glares at her, his jaw tense as he looks into her eyes.

“I am a King. I am not going to be some humans lover, least of all the woman bound to my nephew.”

“Ah, see, I knew it was your pride getting in the way.” Kaia laughs humourlessly, shrugging, “If that is the case, then I shall go. If you wish it, I will return home-”

Kaia turns to leave, but as she turns her back, she feels Thorin grab her wrist. He tugs her back, pressing her against his chest.

“No. No, you will not go.” He murmurs, his mouth close to her ear. “I do not want you to.”

“I thought you said you would not become a humans lover?”

“And you were right, it is my pride speaking…” He says, his tone quieter and gentler than it had been mere seconds ago, “I… I do want you… I care for you. But… it is not easy. I feel as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders, Kaia. I do not want to do anything that would put our mission at risk. I do not want to find myself falling for you and being unable to focus on the task at hand…”

The honesty takes Kaia back, and she lets out a shuddered breath, leaning her head back against his shoulder.

“I know, Thorin. You have so many responsibilities, but that can make you feel alone.” Kaia murmurs, turning herself around in his arms. Thorin’s head is bent slightly, his hair like a curtain around his head. “You do not have to be ashamed about having desires, about caring about me. And you do not have to be ashamed to admit that you cannot do this all alone. Let me be here, for you. Please.”

He rests his forehead against her own, his eyes screwing shut.

“And if I become yours, Kaia, what then? I have lost so much in this life, what if I lose you too. What if we all do? Kili loves you, as does Fili, I can tell. I have only ever seen Bofur be serious when he talks about you, and I know Dwalin would never take a lover unless she was special. You are special, Kaia. I could not bear to give my heart and body to you just to lose you as well.”

“You won’t.”

“You do not know that.”

“Neither of us do.” Kaia shrugs, tucking his hair behind his ear, “If we lived our lives in fear of what could be, we would never feel any joy. You deserve joy, Thorin. Please, let me be the one who gives it to you.”

Thorin looks up at her, his eyes soft beneath his knitted eyebrows.

“Even if we did survive this quest, and we take back Erebor… I would be king. I would be your lover, but I would also be your king. Your One’s uncle-”

“Yes and I have already bedded his brother in front of him” Kaia laughs, kissing Thorin’s nose gently. “Stop looking for reasons why this cannot be, my king. Whatever problems and issues we come across, we face them. I know that I love Kili, I know that I adore Fili and Dwalin and Bofur, and I want you to be a part of us.”

Thorin stares down at her, his eyes soft as a small smile appears across his face, “You’re going to have to ask me formally.”

“Oh, do I?” Kaia smirks.

“I’m a king, little human. I’m not a miner who you can just fuck on the side of a river, you must ask me properly.”

Kaia sighs, rolling her eyes good naturedly. Taking a step away from him, confusion flashes across his face. Before he can assume she has rejected him, Kaia gets down on her knee.

She assumes the best imitation of bowing in front of a king as she can, bending her head down as she extends one hand to him, with the other on his chest.

“Oh, noble King Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, king Under the Mountain and uncle to my One. Would you do me the honour of becoming my lover? Would you fuck me hard, make me scream, drive me to the point of insanity on your cock, fuck me in every corridor of Erebor when we get there, and-”

She is cut off by Thorin taking her hand and pulling her up, right into his arms as he laughs against her hair.

“That’s good enough, ghivashel. Not very formal, mind you.” He chuckles.

“Hey, I used all of your official titles!” Kaia laughs, and Thorin wraps his hands around her waist, pressing her closer to him.

“When we reclaim Erebor, I will do you the honour of fucking you on my throne.” Thorin’s voice rumbles against her neck, and she moans as his hands travel over her body.  

“How about we start off with you fucking me in this cave, your majesty?”

Thorin pulls back, raising his eyebrow at her, “You fucked four different dwarrows tonight, and you want to go again?”

“I haven’t had a king…” She murmurs, dancing her lips against his own. He groans, pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

Kaia wraps her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as he glides his hands over her waist and hips, groping at her ass with an appreciative hum, before he grabs her thighs and lifts her up.

She squeaks as he lifts her, wrapping her legs around Thorin’s waist as he walks her back to press her against the cave wall. His lips never leave hers, biting her lower lip and causing her to yelp, giving his tongue access to her mouth.

Every moan she finds escaping her is swallowed by Thorin, who digs his fingers into her thighs as he grinds himself against her.

“Fucking a lady against a cave wall, is very unbecoming of a king.” He murmurs, dragging his teeth over her pulse point.

“Well we can save the ‘love-making’ on satin sheets for when you have your kingdom back, your grace. Right now, I need you to just be Thorin.”

“Thorin would definitely fuck a lady against a cave wall.” He chuckles, securing her weight against the stone as one of his hands lifts up to pull down her sleeve, kissing her shoulder.

“Then get to it, Oakenshield.” Kaia moans, tugging on his hair.

“As you wish, Halwûna.” Thorin groans, reaching his hands up to tug on her dress. It falls away easily, the back of it having already been destroyed by Dwalin’s hands. Thorin shifts her higher up, giving him easy access to her tits.

One of his hands remains on her thigh, the other glides over her torso, the callouses on his palms delivering delicious friction against her skin, causing her to bite her lip and drop her head back.

Kaia can feel his beard drag along her chest, his lips pressing kisses along her collarbone before delving deeper, pressing kisses to her nipples. They pebbled against the cold air, and he groaned against them. His tongue darted out, licking a long strip along her right breast.

The hand in his hair clenched, and he growled against her tit, latching onto it with his teeth.

“Fuck! Thorin!” She cries, the pain and the pleasure sending a shiver through her body.

“Quiet, girl. You don’t want the rest of them hearing us, do you?” He murmurs, before looking up into her eyes, “Do you?”

“I think this Company is far past secrets.” Kaia chuckles, breathing harshly as he continues to suck on her tit, dragging his teeth over them to illicit more noise from her.

She threads her fingers through his hair, tugging harshly every time his teeth bit down onto her, and he rewards her with a groan every time.

“It seems Fili got his love for teasing from you.” Kaia breathes out, and Thorin chuckles against her skin.

“Does it turn you on to bring up my nephews while I’m sucking your tits, ghivashel?” He asks, a teasing lilt to his rumbling voice.

“Perhaps.” Kaia says, grinding her lower body against his strong stomach, “Does that bother you?”

“No. In fact, I have half a mind to call them here to watch as I ravage you.” Thorin says, kissing her breast once more before lifting his head up to give her an evil smirk. Kaia can only groan as he pulls her down the wall, readjusting her thighs until they are wrapped around his hips.

Thorin presses a kiss to her jaw, growling slightly, “No. I think I’ll wait for another time to share you. Right now, you are mine.”

With quick, rough hands, he lifts her dress up to bunch around her waist, pressing his hips against hers to keep her upright.

“I want to see you.” Kaia murmurs, dragging her hands over his clothed torso. Thorin raises an eyebrow, seemingly unwilling to take off his tunic.

“It’s cold.” He says.

“Yeah, I realised. If you haven’t noticed, I’m wearing my dress as a belt right now.” Kaia laughs, playfully punching Thorin’s shoulder. His face breaks out into a small smile, looking over her body with loving eyes.

“That is fair, sweet girl.” Thorin says, keeping his hips pressed to hers to keep her up, whilst his hands grab at the hem of his tunic, tugging it over his head.

Kaia feels a blush creep up her neck at the sight of him. He’s covered in thick muscle underneath tanned skin, decorated with dark and silver hair, tattoos and scars. His muscles ripple as he tosses his shirt away, and she cannot resist the urge to touch him.

She drags her fingers over his chest, admiring the dark hair and the roughness of his skin. Thorin watches her as she looks him over, his expression guarded as he begins to feel self-conscious. Kaia was beautiful, soft skin and delicate imperfections which made her so real. The King Under the Mountain was riddled with memories of war, he was old and withered. What if she was disgusted by him?

“You’re beautiful.” Kaia says, softly.

Thorin blinks at her, taken aback by her compliment. But he sees only honesty in her eyes, her pupils dilated as her fingers draw circles down his stomach, gently caressing the scars littered along it. Overwhelmed by the affection displayed by the human in front of him, he kisses her gently. She sighs against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him even closer to her.

“No-one’s ever called me beautiful, Gêdel.” Thorin murmurs against her lips.

“Well get used to it.” Kaia smiles, leaning back to look into his sad, blue eyes. “I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you how beautiful you are, if you let me.”

“Only if I can repay the favour.”

They share a smile, before resuming their kiss. Their lips start gently, dancing together in an unspoken confession of adoration, getting to know each other more and more with every breath they shared.

Over time, they grew impatient. Kaia felt his hands rubbing against her hips and thighs, causing goose bumps to erupt over every inch of skin he caressed. She moaned against his mouth, demanding for more. Thorin kissed her harder, his tongue seeking her own out as their hands wandered.

“Are you sure about this, sweet one?” Thorin asks.

“Yes, I am.” Kaia whispers, biting at his jaw, “My king.”

Thorin groans, kissing her shoulder and her neck as one of his hands leaves her. Kaia can hear his belt buckle being undone, and her body thrummed with anticipation. Thorin shoved his trousers down to his thighs, gasping as the cold night air hit his cock.

The heat from both of their bodies was both stifling and not enough, the winds of the forest caressing the pairs bare skin. Kaia wrapped her arms snug around the king before her, pressing her chest to his. He hummed against her skin, one hand holding her up whilst the other moved to play with her cunt.

Kaia gasped as she felt his finger drag along her inner thigh, before reaching between her legs. His index finger caressed along her folds, feeling how wet she was for him.

“Oh, mahal…” He murmurs, his cock throbbing at the feeling of how soft and wet she was.

Pressing his finger into her, Kaia moaned and bit her lip, feeling her body shudder with the intrusion of his thick digit. He pushed into her, deep until his thumb pressed against her clit.

“Thorin…” Kaia breathed, her head hitting the wall behind her as she shifted her body, begging for more.

He obliged. A second finger joined his first, and his thumb began dragging across her clit in rough, stable motions which made her gasp. Pumping his fingers, Thorin watched Kaia’s face as her jaw went slack.

“Does that feel good, ghivashel?” He asks, knowing the answer but demanding praise. He needed to hear her tell him he was good, I needed it like a drowning man needed air.

“Yes! Thorin you feel so good! Please, please don’t stop…” Kaia pleads, her hips bucking slightly to fuck herself on his fingers.

“Good girl, ride my hand. That’s it, you look so pretty coming undone.” Thorin praises, fucking her faster on his fingers as he feels himself grow even harder watching her expressions.

Her face twists beautifully, eyes fluttering closed as her chest heaved. Unable to resist, Thorin lowers his head, taking one of her nipples into his mouth. She moans, grabbing onto his hair to keep him in place.

“I’m gonna…” Kaia murmurs, rocking her hips against Thorin’s hand.

“Are you going to cum, ‘arsûna?” Thorin asks, kissing along her breast as he flicks her clit harder, “Are you going to reward your king by cumming all over his hand?”

“Yes! Yes!” Kaia gasps out, feeling her peak nearing.

“Do you deserve to finish to soon?” Thorin chides, “Have you earned it?”

“Please, Thorin!” She begs, feeling her legs shake as she gets closer. But Thorin’s hand stops.

“Please, what?” He asks, his voice low as he talks against her skin, looking up at her with fierce eyes.

“Please, my king!” Kaia practically screams, her body thrumming on the precipice.

“Good girl.” He says, biting down onto her tit as three of his fingers enter her, fucking into her fast and hard, his thumb rubbing her clit with renewed ferocity.

Kaia chokes out a sob, her scream getting caught in her throat as she cums. Stars and flashes of lightning erupt in front of her eyes, and her body shakes against Thorin’s own. His fingers do not cease, coaxing her through her orgasm as Thorin groans against her.

The feeling of her cunt strangling his fingers has Thorin’s cock pulsing, begging for the warmth her cunt provides. He needed her, but he held back as he felt her slump against him.

“Are you alright, ‘Ibinê?” He asks, his voice raspy as he feels the blood pumping through his shaft.

“I am, sweet king.” Kaia murmurs above him, running her hands through his hair, causing him to sigh contentedly, “Are you going to fuck me or are you waiting for something?”

Kaia chuckles above him, and Thorin presses another kiss to her chest, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He says, his voice gentle.

“I’ve fucked four dwarrows and came a dozen times tonight, Thorin. Nê akhshum.” Kaia says, her voice soft. Thorin looks up at her, surprised by her use of Khuzdul. Kaia shrugs, “Balin has been teaching me, Bifur too.”

“Oh, why?” Thorin asks, kissing her jaw.

“He said there would be need for it, eventually.” Kaia smiles, “I don’t know if he meant this, though.”

“He knows more than the rest of us, Halw Kurdu.” Thorin chuckles, kissing her cheek, then her nose. “Are you ready for…” Thorin clears his throat, suddenly nervous.

“Your cock?” Kaia asks, smiling at Thorin swallows thickly, “Yes, I’m ready, my king.”

“If you keep calling me that, this will not last long.”

“Do not sell yourself short, Thorin, it appears dwarrow stamina is very impressive.”

Thorin grins at her, kssing her hard as he lifts her up slightly. Kaia gasps as she can feel his length pressed against her. He’s huge and thick, and throbbing. Thorin releases his own groan at the feel of her heat beneath him, and the two take a second to breathe before, Thorin pushes into her.

The tip of him is enough to make Kaia’s head spin. She bites her lip at the feeling of him stretching her, the all too familiar sensation of penetration a welcome sting after tonight.

Thorin, however, feels as though he is about to burst. Her tight heat envelopes him hot and wet and oh so tight. His mind blanks as he pushes forwards, the sound of his own heart, his lovers breathing and the wet noises of their coupling like music to his ears.

“Mahal… you feel… gods, Kaia…” Thorin can barely get out the words as he sinks deeper, his mouth hanging open as he stares into her eyes, loving the look inside of them as he slowly pushes all the way into her.

“Thorin… my king…” Kaia murmurs, her hands on his shoulders as he presses his hips to her, causing her eyes to roll back into her head. “So… big, fuck….”

“I need to… please, Kaia, can I move…?” Thorin begs, surprising himself with how breathy and eager he sounds. His mind is clouded, the only thing he can feel is the tight space between her legs and the softness of her skin underneath his fingers.

“Move, Thorin. Fuck me hard, please…” Kaia commands, her words disappearing into a high pitched whine as he quickly pulls back and thrusts back into her.

His pace is rough, hard and sloppy. Gone are his worries and his desire to remain kingly, now all he wants is to fuck her fast and hard, claiming her cunt. Every time he pulls his inches out, her cunt tries to pull him back, and he is more than happy to oblige, surging forward hard enough to cause them both to let out a strangled gasp.

Kaia keeps one hand on his shoulder as the other disappears between them, rubbing against her clit and feeling where his cock enters her. The feeling of her nails dragging along his length makes Thorin wince, but the slight pain just brings him closer.

Thorin fucks her wildly, his cock never leaving her for a second as he pumps himself in her, his balls slapping against her as his tip snaps against her cervix. Kaia feels as though she could die on his dick, the air leaving her every time his body shoves against hers. Her hips feel bruised, her tits rubbed raw against the hairs on his chest, and the beautiful sensation of his kingly cock fucking her hard enough to carve it’s shape into her cunt.

Another orgasm is fast approaching, and Kaia can only grip onto him with one arm as the other continues to rub her clit. Thorin shakes and shudders against her, panting as he uses all of his energy to pound into her. His forehead is covered in sweat, and he drops it against her shoulder as he gets lost in the feeling.

Thorin presses her thigh up higher, getting better access to her cunt. After a few more sharp thrusts, Kaia screams as her orgasm crashes over her. Her cunt strangles his cock, causing Thorin to gasp and murmur out Khuzdul, his eyes rolling back. His hips do not stop, desperately fucking her through her orgasm.

“Thorin! Please, let me go, I can’t-!” Kaia pleads, her orgasm subsiding and the brutal pace of his hips making her squirm with overstimulation.

It takes great effort, but Thorin releases her, and she slides out from him. Thorin feels as though he might die if he does not finish, but he would never keep going when she tells him to stop.

Kaia looks down at his cock, glistening and red, and drops to her knees. Thorin opens his mouth to tell her not to, but the second she wraps her lips around him, his protest dies in his throat.

She wastes no time in taking him into her mouth, pushing her head down as far as she can go. He’s so thick and long, and when he hits the back of her throat he’s barely halfway in. Kaia swallows around him, hearing him gasp and groan as one of his hands wraps around her hair. She removes her mouth for a second to drag her tongue along the underside of him, before wrapping her lips around him once more.

Her hands aid her efforts, pumping up and down the rest of his shaft in circular, up and down motions. That and the suction she applies to the top of him, has Thorin almost collapsing on top of her. Kaia looks up, watching as he leans over her, his forearm resting on the stone wall while the other grasps onto her skull.

Thorin’s eyes stare down at her, half-lidded and full of desire as she bobs her head along his shaft. The King Under the Mountain tries to keep himself from fucking her face, his hips stuttering and his hand flinching with the effort to not move her head the way he wants her to.

Kaia can see his internal battle, and she releases him from her mouth, pumping him with her hands as she looks into his eyes, “Fuck my face, my King.”

Thorin groans, spluttering slightly at her words, before the hand in her hair tightens and pushes her back to his shaft. Kaia eagerly opens her mouth, accepting his appendage when it glides through her lips.

All restraint is gone from Thorin now, he’s too close and too desperate to feel her mouth around him. He begins thrusting into her face, forcing his length further and further down her throat until she is gagging around him. Kaia does not protest, nor does she try to move. She keeps her throat as open as she can, taking deep breaths through her nose as the King vigorously fucks her.

It's so erotic, her eyes flitting up to watch the normally composed King under the Mountain as he becomes a writhing beast above her. One of her hands leaves his shaft, going south to her clit, and she begins grinding on it, the vibrations from Thorin fucking her face providing her with effortless friction that makes her body spasm with pleasure.

Thorin is a mess of sweat and groans above her, his eyes rolling back even though he tries his hardest to watch the scene below him. She is truly the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and watching as she takes almost all of him down her throat and pumps him with her hand makes his chest feel as though it will collapse.

His balls are tightening below him, and he can feel himself getting close. The arm pressed against the wall is the only thing anchoring him from falling into a void of ecstasy, and he presses his forehead against it to try to keep his breaths even,

Kaia can feel him getting close. The hand in her hair grips even harsher, providing an almost painful sensation. His thrusts are getting sloppier and harder, and Kaia feels herself gagging almost constantly.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Thorin’s mouth is releasing a string of gibberish, moans and words of praise, she would find the gagging embarrassing, but the sensation of it is heaven for Thorin Oakenshield.

She rides her hand with more fervour, feeling herself getting closer as the dwarf above her begins stuttering out begs and pleadings.

“Oh, my sweet girl, make me cum, please… you feel so good, abnâmul, mahal maharuma, you’re going to make me cum… fuck!” He gasps out, on the edge of cumming down her throat.

Kaia wants to feel his spend in her mouth, needs it to finish herself, so she moves her hand from his cock, bringing it down to grab onto his balls.

Thorin bellows, thrusting his cock down her throat as far as it can go as he finishes. His cum comes out in hot spurts down her throat and across her tongue. The sensation of it and the sound of Thorin’s groans makes Kaia orgasm, her fingers pruning with the wetness of herself.

Thorin pulls himself out of her mouth, uttering a small apology for finishing in her mouth. But Kaia simply smiles at him, swallowing down what he gave her and wiping her mouth. He takes another breath, before pulling her up and wrapping his arms around her, his face in her neck.

They stay like that for a few moments, leaning against the wall for stability as they caress each other, soothing one another gently. Thorin murmurs against her skin, words she can barely hear and understand, but his tone makes her feel warm and safe. She kisses his jaw, nuzzling against the roughness of his beard.

“We should probably go back. They’ll be wondering where we got off to.” Kaia murmurs, and Thorin lifts his head to give her a dazed look.

“You’re right.” He says, reaching down to pull his trousers back up. The two begin pulling their clothes back into place. A rustling sound catches their attention, and Thorin sighs.

“Bofur get out of those fucking bushes!” Thorin bellows, and Kaia looks around as a hat pops out from one of the nearby shrubs.

Bofur looks over at them, wide eyed and red faced, clearing his throat.

“Apologies, Thorin! Was just wondering what was going on!” He calls.

“You were wondering ten minutes ago, you dolt!” Thorin sighs, buckling up his trousers.

“Enjoy the show, sweet dwarf?” Kaia asks, chuckling to herself.

“Very much, lass. I’m also very glad Thorin and you are on the same page!” Bofur laughs, trying to conspicuously fix his clothing.

“Were you touching yourself, Bofur?” Kaia tuts, and Bofur flushes red again.

“If I catch you watching us again, I’ll tie you up so you can only watch and not reach any kind of satisfaction. Understood?” Thorin says, his voice back to its commanding lilt.

“Heard loud and clear!” Bofur salutes, winking at Kaia as he runs off back to the camp. Kaia laughs, and Thorin gives her an exacerbated look. “You’re going to have to get used to that, darling. You’re sharing with four other dwarrows.”

“I’m well aware.” Thorin says, kissing Kaia on the forehead. “But we’re really going to have to have a conversation about boundaries.”

“Sure, my king.” Kaia teases, and Thorin growls before he dives in for another kiss.

-

Woo, final smut chapter done! There will be an epilogue chapter next, just to conclude it all!

BUT, because so many people enjoyed this fanfic on AO3, I'll be making a few one-shots continuing on with this story! So look out for those!

Translations <3

Gêdel – Joy of all joys

‘arsûna – hot one

‘Ibinê – my gem

Nê akhshum – Don’t Worry

Halw Kurdu – Sweet Heart

[alu3e]

hi this is my rant about songs i have connected with hobbit. it dosent really make sense at most points and is also really long drawn out!! so before you read this and rhink oh it will make sense no it wont thanks. its long btw! getting to ramble at midnight is my favourite thing :P

most of them i can see as edits in my head or somethinf like that so i think of specific scenes but i cant edit so it just. stays in my head.

ALSO! english is not my first language and i do not care for it. every mistake i make is not apologised for in any way and if i recognise it is a mistake it will stay there out of spite. i will not give in to thr english language.

link to more songs at the bottom!! this is nr 1

curses by the crane wives = bagginshield/thorin (i love the crane wives. thanks liv for introducing me and i love you forever.)

centered around verse 1 + 2, chorus :P most thought out one, so it all goes downhill from here. goes mostly line for line because ive been picking at this song for months and trying to make it bagginshield.

theres a fire in my brain, and im burning up: this one really just screams dragon sickness to me. like yeah hes fucking burning up hes dead

keep running for the sink but the well is dry: this one really just dosent make sense at all but its imprinted in my brain as bagginshield, the sink would be like thorin and then the well, thorin, has run dry by dragon sickness.. and the running dude is bilbo. still trying to think of this in another way but its hard.

every word i say is kindling but the smoke clears when youre around: once again, whos even surprised, dragonsick thorin! i should rename the title for this song in this ramble to dragonsick thorin. i wont do it. and the smoke clears when bilbo is around (queue acorn scene).. this might be just bad english, but kindling as in lighting a fire, the war i guess,, and then well. play acorn scene.

wont you stay with me, my darling, when my walls start burning down, down, down: more bagginshield for this line, i love them btw, thinking dragon sickness again and how bilbo was the one he trusted over his kin, saying they had taken the stone and all that shit. bad connection but walls burning down, more like being fucking corrupted by the dragon sickness. anyways having bilbo being the closest one idk man. its late over here.

this house says my name like an elegy, echoing where all my ghosts used to be: this is where i really start getting lost it only gets worse from here guys. (guys, i say to myself in the middle of the night) thorin being king and all that stuff but the sickness being passed down or whatever, sad fuckign shit over there. also I dont really know what elegy means. last part i dont really know about, but erebors fucking empty. very fucking empty. jk theres these 13 guys there. sorry losing the point but it makes sense i just dont have a clear connection. bully me for this one. or just please say something that connects it so i can go a little bit more insane.

theres still cobwebs in the corners, and the backyards full of bones: erebor being empty but the gold still being there, full of bones, sickness, idk really. im still tired.

wont you stay with me my darling when this house dont feel like home, when this house dont feel like home: more loose but i guess how balin/throin would tell bilbo (and have told like, kili and fili for ecample) about erebor, how its this great ass kingdom. and then when they get there its just not really thorins sick everything goes to hell war war war so house dont feel like home.

skip a few lines

the devils after both of us: THE GOLDDDD THE GOLDDDD GUYS THE GOLDDDD. ring for bilbo, the gold in erebor for thorin. gold. we dont like gold over here. get out if you like gold. jk please dont leave me im tired

lay my curses out to rest make a mercy out of me : idk the scene where Thorin dies he just wants to be friends (loser atleast admit youre in love) with bilbo again before he goes. oh i love them btw did i say that

i dont have much more for curses, love this song very much, but i cant really fit the rest of the song in much. if someone bothers to read this then youre so welcome to do it and tell me about it please. please please please please. ON TO THE NEXT ONE RAHHHJJ‼️

dog days are over by florence + the machine

another song i hold close to my heart even though its not my usual taste! this one dosent really have a line by line walkthrough like, ex, curses. some lines fit a little better, some dont..

i know (think.) dog days are like, the bad days? toss and turn it a few times and i think it fits the hobbit. everything nice. goes to hell. theres lots of other songs that are better for this but its just the vibes of the song that give it for me.

some lines that i just want to mention:

run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run for your children, for your sisters and brothers: how the company is like a family, really, I guess. especially for bilbo because thats his found family. a whole other ramble about that. running out of erebor, to war. i think. this song is based on vibe not lines.

leave all your love and your longing behind, you cant carry it with you if you want to survive: this one is more, edit like based, cause think like everyone laughing having fun ex when kili and fili scare bilbo by the campfire and stuff, + rivendell. scare maybe isnt the best word idk, I think you can figure it out. theres not much like that left, they want to survive the war i guess fight for their kingdom if this dosent make sense blame how tired i am. barely keeping my eyes open at this point.

struck from a great height: fili i love you and you deserved nothing that happened to you. pls my girlfriend i love you btw fili.

next song :)

sleeping giants by the crane wives!

this one is also more of a thought out edit than connecting lines, but i want to talk about it anyway cause i really like this song. thats just the prompt for this entire ramble 'i really like this song'.

straight into lines on this one, not as much to talk about before.

i feel the mountains, shifting under me: this one makes more sense for the stone giants, than the second one which is erebor, i just think of the scene where he opens the door. take that and do what you will wtih it.

the sleeping giants are finally waking, waking finally: stone giants!

my pulse is clear rushing in my ears i hear something calling me: the arkenstone guys the arkenstone..... or also the gold thinking about the hes been down there for days scene where hes just in the gold man idk still very tired. ive said that alot of times now.

the moon is humming, lovley melodies: the moon, being the last light, showing the keyhole, lovley stuff. melodies

the forest echoes, the trees are crowing hungry: no, I dont know what crowing means and i wont go figure it out. abywyas, Mirkwood, the spiders, all that stuff.

this ones unclear. sorry bout that. just want to put sleeping giants in your head. its a great song.

tounges and teeth by (drumroll) the crane wives!!!!!!!

great song again. lovley even. lovley melody. lines are more spread out here, picking just a few really. this ones more like a listen and you just get it than a ah you can read my ramble and understand just based on the lines.

ive grown a mouth so sharp and cruel: dragon sick thorin!! bilbo going like oooh the dwarf i met in bag end wouldnt have said that youve changedddd youve changedddd. sorry i like that scene acrually. hes changed btw.

i will ruin you, I will ruin you: batfa bagginshield goes both ways acruallt. they just love each other that much.

its a habit, i cant help it : sickness he cant help that poor little king

i know that you mean so well but i am not a vessel for your good intent: vessel isnt the best word here but SUE ME i didnt write the song. bilbo ment well with the arkenstone but obviously thorin being mindfucked and sick he cant see that.

i will only break your pretty things, I will only wring you dry of everything, (i will poison all your happy thoughts): well. thorin and bilbo!!! the sickness breaking their relationship. obviously that had to be a pretty thing considering bilbo couldnt even SAY WHAT THORIN MRNT TO HIM. also another ramble ugh k think about it every single day. i will poison all your happy thoughts, being i guess the sickness as well. counting in on this same one.

i love you like the ashes in my cigarette box: the gold. thorin loving bilbo more than the gold because jghgbgbn the mithril SHIIIRTTTTT guys the shirt.

this ones unclear. listen to the song. please. its very good.

---

i was supposed to add time will change you by the crane wives here, ill reblog sometime and do it. havent really picked at that one much yet.

thats it! if you read it, im sorry! if you didnt read it, thats what i expected! just rambling. I really like music and hobbit, so. this took about an hour to just write. maybe one day ill make one for lord of the rings trilogy.

this is, quite clearly, movie based. if anyone has any ideas from the book that fits,.. tell me. if youre the person who commented something about red clay (tcw) and frodo, please tell me more. ive lost the post it was from and it drives me insane. thanks for reading my nonsense post.

[1] [2]

[yelmor-boots]

okay, so this is a beast of a post.

since i've officially watched all 'the hobbit' movies now (as well as 'lord of the rings'), here is my personal ranking of all the movies in a list.

LoTR: Two Towers

LoTR: Return of the King

LoTR: Fellowship of the Ring

Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies

Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

i talk a lot about the movies under the cut ( i accidentally started rambling, whoops ) don't feel like you have to read it all but if you want my supper cluttered opinion, go ahead (spoilers btw)

favorite one overall is clearly 'Two Towers'. it follows three groups of characters in the best fucking way. (Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas | Samwise, Frodo, Smeagol/Gollum | Merry, Pippin) it's been a while since I watched this one but i would really love to rewatch it one day. (we rented this one so we don't have it anymore)

i initially had 'Return of the King' as #4 but i honestly can't rank it that low. everything about this one is perfect and it gave me and my sis some good fucking inside jokes. also aragorn and eowyn slayed imma be real

'An Unexpected Journey' almost came above 'Fellowship of the Ring' but then i remembered the other half of fellowship and i had to rank it higher. maybe i just love the lotr characters more, i dunno, but their journey impacted me more and had me more excited. also, 'one does not simply walk into mordor.'

'An Unexpected Journey' is the only one I've actually rewatched (even if it was only the beginning) solid movie, something old and charming to it. i did watch it when i was younger but i fell asleep multiple times and just caught tid bits of it, so going through it again i annoyed the piss out of my sis by yelling 'i know that part!' over and over again

'Battle of Five Armies' was structured really well. the fight scenes could not have gone any better. the elves, the dwarves, the orcs, all their different unique styles. solid three hours of fighting if you want that. (i would gush about this a little more but i would probably end up repeating myself a bunch and sounding more a mess than typical) ((also this is going on too long))

'Desolation of Smaug' by all intents and purposes should've been ranked higher. if something has a dragon, I'm gonna watch it. (i recently realized i had a not-so-secret love/obsession for dragons) and Smaug being that gold-obsessed dragon from storybooks gave him such an interesting twist and gave me a real appreciation for that trope and he looked really cool and he was probably my favorite part of the movie- (unfortunately i just had a bad experience watching the movie because i was being constantly interrupted to the point that i completely lost track for like two hours. but even with a rewatch, i probably wouldn't rank it higher, but i would definitely have more love for it than i currently do)

Favorite Characters

LoTR: Gimli (i can finally remember his name), Frodo (pathetic bitch, like me fr), Pippin (protect this tree-loving, goofy ass, bard at all costs)

Hobbit: (no character really stuck out to me in the way lotr characters did but these ones did stand out) Balin, Gandalf, Galadriel

and special shout out to:

aragorn (king, literally), legolas (especially from lotr where he's only quiet until he says some wise shit), smaug (big, fire kitty), galadriel (yes, again, i didn't think much of her until the hobbit but lowkey what the fuck, awesome, talented amazing, showstopping, hot as fu-what?), and eowyn (pick your head up queen, your crown is slipping)

and because i can't shut up and this is such an impeccable series

i couldn't pick one, so the two most impactful scenes for me was-

lotr: when the ring had been destroyed and frodo and sam are on the rock surrounded by lava. frodo is remembering everything about the shire and home and he probably finally feels normal again. they were also giving ship vibes, true, but their dynamic in that moment is also so special and i want to rope this into the end where he gives him the book before leaving and the ethereal lighting of it all is everything and-

hobbit: i wasn't too 'wowed' by thorin (he just doesn't match up to aragorn for me) but his character direction is something i can gab about on a later date (cuz i fucking love it dude) . other than that, he didn't touch me emotionally or anything. but holy fuck when the credit mucic started playing?? the song is 'the last goodbye' and i immediately thought of his death scene and the funeral of all of who passed and let me tell you, i have never teared up for movies or songs or stories but i got fucking close during that song man and that's gotta account for something (I've watched endgame with tony stark as my favorite character if that gives you any inclination how much that credit song fucked me up)

and lastly, my favorite songs

The Last Goodbye (this fucking song made me love thorin so much more and it also stole my lunch money, yes 911? i would like to report a crime-)

Edge of Night (wasn't expecting it, thought i'd hate it -because i get uncomfortable with characters singing in movies- fucking loved it, obsessed)

Misty Mountains Cold (had no reason to go so hard, jesus christ-)

I See Fire (i knew this song since i was a kid, never knew it was from the hobbit, got really excited when i heard it at the end of of desolation of smaug)

if you read this, you deserve a reward. but I'll settle for requesting you either reblog or comment with something about lotr/hobbit that you really love. like your favorite movie, character, scene, whichever. i'd love to see all the different things that was special to others (and it doesn't need to be as long as this, please, save yourself the stress)

[crystalbeetle888]

Voyage into the Unknown Pt.7

Master List Pt.6 - Pt.7 - Pt.8

I sit up as Balin checks my leg for any injury. Rolling up my pants, a large bruise stretches across my calf. “Can you bend your knee for me lass?” I lift my leg slowly, a sharp pain shooting in my knee “Yeah, hurts though” I hissed. He pokes around my knee some more “Well, it’s not broken, and that’s good. But it seems like your knee is sprained” Balin stands “I’ll send Oin over to wrap it" he nods, wandering off towards the group. The men have already gathered all our things from the old camp, and brought them over, before separating and deciding to wander off for whatever reason. Sitting by myself, I huff in frustration trying not to get overwhelmed or upset ‘Fucking asshole Thorin’ I think bitterly. ‘Nothing is ever good enough for him’ I brewed in my bitter thoughts. Soon enough, Oin walks over and wraps my leg tightly, causing me to wince as I step on it “It’ll heal in no time lass, just don’t strain it too much” he says packing up his medical kit. 

Suddenly, Thorin yells out “Something’s coming!” “Stay together! Hurry now, Arm yourselves!” Gandalf urges us, the company coming together in a tight protection circle. Kili stands defensively in front of me, bow drawn. “Thieves! Fire! Murder!” A voice wails as a raggedy looking man comes bursting out the bushes on a rabbit pulled sleigh. “Radagast. It’s Radagast the Brown. Well, what on earth are you doing here?” Gandalf grumbles. “I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong” “Yes?” Radagast pauses in thought, “Oh- Just give me a minute” he huffs in frustration, waving his hands around. “Oh, I had a thought and now I’ve lost it. It was right there on the tip of my tongue” he complains to Gandalf, who looks at him inquisitively. Radagast sticks out his tongue, “Oh, it’s not a thought at all. It’s a silly old- stick insect” He says as Gandalf pulls the bug from his friend's mouth, and returns it back to him.

Looking around, no one else seems to be too bothered about the sight except for Bilbo, who looks appalled. With the lack of danger, the company disperses once again. Gandalf and Radagast leave to converse privately, and Thorin follows them to snoop. 

A sharp pain shoots through my knee, causing me to hiss and buckle over “Are you alright?” Kili asks, grabbing my arm supportively, “Yeah, it’s just my knee”. He leads me over to a fallen log and kneels down in front of me to inspect Oins’ wrap, as if he knows what he’s doing. “It’s just a sprain, I’ll be fine” I try to ease his worries, “You don’t know that, it could easily become worse” he says, still concerned. His frown is intense as he fiddles with the wrappings “I’m not fragile Kili, I won’t break that easily” He glances up at me before sighing, fingers lightly brushing over the bruise, causing goosebumps to prickle up my arms “I just don’t want to see you in pain” He whispers gently. I smile at his concern, “I’m sure I’ll survive this sprained knee” I joke patting him on the shoulder. “I’m not so convinced, perhaps I should carry you the rest of the journey” He smirks, and sits down closely beside me on the log “You’re more than welcome to try Kili” we laugh together before a loud howl echoes through the forest, causing Kili to jump up in fright. “Was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?” Bilbo asks hastily, “Wolves? No, that is not a wolf” Bofur states, looking around scared. Branches crack behind us as a large, ugly, wolf-like creature prowls over the ridge, growling deeply as it charges and pounces on Dori. Thorin slashes at his head, sword lodging in its skull “Kili! get your bow!” he yells, as another approaches from behind and leaps towards him. Kili shoots the beast in the shoulder causing it to tumble and slide, still snapping at Thorin, until Dwalin strikes its skull with his battle axe. 

I rise quickly from my seat and hop over to stand behind Kili, “Warg scouts. Which means an Orc pack is not far behind” Thorin states freeing his sword. “Orc pack?” Bilbo asks, clearly frightened. “Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?” Gandalf storms forward to interrogate him, “No one” “Who did you tell?” Gandalf presses him. “No one, I swear” Thorin repeats sternly and Gandalf huffs “What in Durin’s name is going on?” he asks, “You are being hunted” Gandalf answers. “We have to get out of here” Dwalin states urgently “We can’t, We have no ponies. They bolted” Ori says, rushing down the ridge with Bifur in tow. Bilbo paces worriedly and I place my hand on Kilis’ shoulder, him placing his own over mine in comfort. 

“I’ll draw them off,” Radagast proposes. “These are Gundabad Wargs. They will outrun you” Gandalf disagrees, “These are Rhosgobel rabbits. I’d like to see them try” He smiles confidently at his long time friend, who reluctantly nods in agreement.

“Gather yourselves, carry what you can” Gandalf commands. The company quickly throws on their packs as Gandalf leads us out of the woods, Radagast already riding off with the Wargs following close behind. A sharp pain shoots up my leg as we weave between the large boulders, the Wargs howling angrily as they attempt to catch the slippery man. “Stay together! Move!” Gandalf urges us as Radagast leads the wargs across our path. We hide behind a large stone slab “Ori, no! Get back” Thorin pulls him back behind the stone before the Wargs running past can spot him. “All of you. Come on, quick!” Gandalf shepherd's us. “Where are you leading us?” I hear Thorin ask as I jog limply past them.

The Wargs charging ahead of us force us to hide flat against a boulder. A deep growl emanates from above us, Thorin nods at Kili, who steps out and shoots at the Warg. It screeches in pain, falling down the ledge in front of us, it attempts to bite at the arrow lodged in its side. A horrid grey being clad in leather and metal charges at the company, Dwalin and Bifur striking it. The two beasts shriek loudly as they are killed, the clanging metal echoes throughout the open field. A moment of silence falls over the valley before a howl sounds from nearby “Move! Run!” Gandalf yells leading the company away from the sound. I pant heavily as we begin to run again, the howling and barking motivates me enough to not fall behind. “There they are!” Gloin hollers “This way! Quickly!” Gandalf guides us. I groan in frustration following behind the company, the pain in my leg has become a dull burning sensation in comparison to the rest of my body. 

After much running the Wargs finally catch up to us, cornering us against a rock face. “There’s more coming!” Kili yells, “Kili, shoot them!” Thorin hollers back. Pulling out my sword I hold it in unsteady hands, my training has barely begun and I certainly don’t feel as though I could actually kill someone. Well, I’m not sure those things are a someone, more like a something. 

“We’re surrounded!” Fili warns us, “Where’s Gandalf?” Dori asks panicked, “He’s abandoned us” Dwalin responds angrily. The approaching Orcs grin menacingly and their Wargs growl, drooling in anticipation. “Hold your ground!” Thorin yells. The company slowly forms a tighter and tighter circle as the Orcs draw near, Bilbo and I stand in the centre. “This way, you fool!” Gandalf's voice rings out, turning round he disappears behind a rock. “Come on, move!” Thorin yells. Running quickly, I clamber over the stone and slip down a steep slope into a small cave. Thorins’ yells for the rest to follow “Quickly, all of you!”. The company swiftly follows behind, landing one by one at the mouth of the cave. Thorin finally slides down once everyone is safely inside. Suddenly a loud horn blows from outside, the company listening intently as a fight rages on. An Orc body tumbles roughly into the hole, landing directly at my feet. Kili pulls me back as everyone aims their weapons. Thorin plucks the arrow from its body, inspecting it closely “Elves” he hissed. I huff in exhaustion, trying to catch my breath from all that running and adrenaline. “I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?” Dwalin asks, inspecting the tunnel, “Follow it, of course” Bofur responds urgently.

The men bustle down the tunnel single file, chattering and bumping each other as they pass through the tight ravine. Bright rays of light stream down illuminating the path. The trail opens up to a small ledge overlooking a steep valley, an elaborate stone city stretches across the canyon, many bridges connecting each building. Waterfalls spill from under the city, creating a winding river at the bottom. Lush green foliage litter the cliffside.

The company and I stare out in awe, “The Valley of Imladris. In the common tongue, it’s known by another name” Gandalf wanders over, “Rivendell” Bilbo finishes his sentence. “Here lies the last Homely House East of the Sea”. The men begin to gossip amongst themselves in Khazdul, clearly upset. I bend over at the waist, my hands clutching the straps on my backpack tightly as pain spikes through my knee and back, causing me to breathe out raggedy. A hand gently places itself on my back “Are you alright Miss?” Gloin asks, I nod in response not trusting my voice. I straighten up as Gandalf and Thorin walk past, not wanting to be a burden.

Gandalf leads the company down the winding stairs, across a bridge and to a circular platform, protected by two large statues of armoured warriors. I gaze around in fascination at the mythical place, the company muttering amongst themselves in suspicion. A tall, long haired, angelic looking man walks down the stairway to greet us “Mithrandir” he says, placing his hand on his chest. Gandalf turns in surprise “Ah, Lindir” he smiles welcomingly. The two men begin to speak in another language.

“I must speak with Lord Elrond” Gandalf states to Lindir, “My Lord Elrond is not here” He responds. A horn, like the one before, sounds loudly from behind us, causing us to turn. A troop of armoured men on horses ride quickly towards us “Close ranks!” Thorin yells, the dwarves pulling Bilbo and I into the center of the protection circle. The pushing and shoving quickly aggravates me, as the company is circled by the riders, one of them hoping off. “Gandalf” he greets him, “Lord Elrond” he calls back merrily. Hoping off his horse, the two hug conversing in their language again.

Running on no sleep, adrenaline, and no breakfast, I tune out the conversations as a wave of fatigue washes over me. I grasp onto Bofurs' shoulder, leaning on him for support “You alright lass? You’re looking a bit haggard” He whispers, gaining the attention of some of the surrounding dwarves. I hum in response, breathing heavily. 

“What is he saying? Does he offer us insults?” Gloins voice interrupts us, “No, Master Gloin, he’s offering you food.” Gandalf corrects him. The company turns to each other mummering, before turning back to Lord Elrond “Well, in that case, lead on” Gloin says. Lord Elrond nods, scanning the company before his eyes meet mine “Perhaps, my lady should be attended to first? I’ll have Lindir accompany you to a room” He waves his hand and Lindir approaches, offering to take my pack. I nod and give him a weak smile, shrugging off the heavy bag with a groan and passing it to the pointy eared man. The company grumbles in Khazdul, a hand brushes mine lightly as I begin to follow Lindir. I turn to spot Kili glaring intensely at the tall man. Patting his arm in passing, I weakly attempted to reassure him as I continued to walk by.

Master List Pt.6 - Pt.7 - Pt.8

Authors Note: Apologies for the later update, this chapter is quite bland, will get another out soon <3

[urdadisgae]

Bagginsheild headcanons

- Bilbo doesn’t notice how much thorin is pining hard purely because he was convinced thorin just doesn’t like people like that

- Dwalin and balin hear all of thorins thoughts and feelings about Bilbo

- like even the wet dreams thorins had and they both are like well we have to listen to him dude is like dying over this guy who doesn’t even notice him

- once Bilbo actually catches on he’s like super flirty

- bilbo is verbally affectionate and thorin is physically affectionate

- no big spoon little spoon business who ever is in bed first is used as a bed

NFSW HEADCANONS INCOMING

- bilbo is very good at sex and initiates it, the hobbit rides like a real one

- thorin gets off to bilbo saying fuck

- bilbo says real freak shit under his breathe into thorins ear in public

- thorin then thoroughly lays pipe

- even split between topping and bottoming because we are adults

[blackrabbit-megapig]

Okay so new accidental proposal idea for Bagginshield.

There's a big party in Erebor for reasons. Thorin is still not fully healed and when Bilbo asks if he's ready to go lay back down since he's been up way more for the day, Thorin says he must be the first to dance so everyone else can start too and dance at least a little more than one or two songs and glances tiredly at a group of dwarrow.

So Bilbo stands up, and being a well raised gentlehobbit, dramatically sweeps into a bow and offers his non dominate hand palm up and keeps his position as he asks if Thorin will dance with him. There is a huge pause.

NOW either Thorin can choke out a yes and take Bilbo's proffered hand and the hall erupts in cheers OR for comedy Balin can basically remind everyone that Bilbo is a hobbit and does not know their ways and Bilbo gets to be rather embarrassed that he technically proposed to Thorin in the most serious of ways for dwarrow, one that would only be done for a love match, and so publicly makes it way more intense. While Bilbo was just holding to proper Shire manners by not staring at the asked so they can feel less pressure to say yes if they don't want to.

I think if I had the health for writing that I would go with the first way as accidental proposals are so fun in my opinion but just wondering which way others would take it. So which would you pick if you were writing a story or would you have another way?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Okay, okay! Look, look, LOOK! What if it was BOTH?! And Thorin accepts the dance anyway and everyone is standing around in SHOCK! While Thorin is trying to help lead Bilbo in some dwarrow type dance, everyone including the company is just standing there like, “Bro, did you fucking SEE THAT?!” Bilbo is confused why no one has stepped in to start dancing and Thorin is on cloud nine thinking, “Wow! So he DOES like me!!!”

Someone has to explain to Bilbo later what he’s done and Bilbo is so embarrassed because that isn’t how he planned to make his feelings known. Everything works out in the end though.