#well at least it's femme fatale james

[vandrawsing]

i don't have my tablet so i'm piecing together the pieces of my fitzier sierra madre au which will make sense to *checks note* three ? three people but listen. james is the singer (in a gorgeous wig) the barrows are pouring all their money into their vanity project of a casino (james got the gig of a lifetime through the younger barrow) francis is the exasperated general contractor who's trying to get everything ready by the date of the grand gala opening despite all the nonsense (why the hell does a casino need military-grade steel plating in all the walls?)

[mylifesjustacarousel]

femme fatale

pairing: james hook x fem!reader (requested!)

summary: you are the new transfer student at merlin academy, and hook falls head over heels for you when he realizes that he’s not the only pirate on campus anymore

type: fluffy…? very silly goofy

CW: kinda suggestive, reader has a knife

WC: 1.5k

part 2 | not proofread!

“Who is that?” Hook whispered, nudging Morgie’s shoulder. The two of them were sat in class when a certain someone caught Hook’s eye. Morgie looked up from his book, gazing over at the person in question. You were sat a few rows ahead of the boys, your feet on your desk while you leaned back in your chair.

“Her? I think she’s one of the new transfer students. You know, she’s a pirate too.”

Hook’s interest in you instantly piqued. It wasn’t every day that he met another pirate, or at least one as breathtaking as you. “She’s stunning. You think I should ask her out?” Morgie looked puzzled. “Ask her out? You don’t know her.” Hook scoffed, looking offended. “Look at me, Morgs. I’m irresistible to all.”

When class was dismissed Hook got up, scrambling to get up and walk over to you. He almost tripped on his way over to your seat, catching himself on your desk. “Silly me, I’m already falling head over heels for you. The name is Hook, and you are?” he asked, winking at you. You raised a brow, looking him up and down. Your eyes stopped on his hook. “I see where the name comes from. I’ll call you pirate boy. As for my name?” You got close to him, your faces mere inches apart. “You’ll just have to figure it out, lover boy.” you whispered, getting up from your seat and walking past him. Yes, he was gorgeous. But you liked to have a little fun with your prey before you went in for the kill.

Hook was practically frozen in his spot, absolutely in awe from the interaction that had just occurred. Morgie walked up to Hook, tapping him on the shoulder. “You okay? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl reject you like that.” Hook stood up, brushing off his clothes. “No, no. That was far from a rejection. This just turned into a game, and the ball is in my court. She’ll be mine… eventually.”

“What’s he so happy about?” Maleficent asked Morgie in a hushed tone, watching as Hook quite literally skipped into the lair. Morgie giggled, looking up from his book. “He met that new transfer student, y/n, in class today. I can’t really say why he’s so happy, though. He almost fell on his face right in front of her. If that was me, I would’ve started running and never looked back.”

Hook looked over at them, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’ll have you know that, no, it didn’t exactly work out how I wanted it to. But, she was totally into me. She didn’t really show it on her face, but I could tell.” Maleficent snickered at him. “You think that you have a chance with her? I’m sure that you could get any girl that you wanted, just not her. No, even Uliana is a little scared of her. She exudes so much confidence that it’s actually a little terrifying, and that is coming from me.”

“And that makes me like her even more. I like a girl who knows what she wants.” He let out a happy sigh, sitting down next to Morgie. “She’ll come around, they all do.”

“Hook, you have a problem.” Hades mumbled.

“I don’t recall asking.” he grumbled. “Look, I think she’s into me. It won’t hurt for me to take my chance. In fact, I think I saw her studying in the common area. Maybe I’ll pay her a little visit.”

“Hello there, m’lady.”

You looked up from your homework, seeing the same pirate from earlier standing in front of you. He pushed your papers aside, sitting down on the table. You crossed your arms over your chest, leaning back in your chair. “Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise, pirate boy.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s Hook. James Hook.”

Giggling to yourself, you sat up. “Do you even know my name?” Leaning forward, the faint feeling of your breath ghosted the skin on his neck. “Why should I bother to use yours?” Hook audibly gulped, looking down at you. Never, not once, had someone rendered him speechless. He always had something to say, always. “I, uh…”

“You what?” You ran your fingers through his long hair. “Tell me, pretty boy. I don’t bite.” Hook’s heart was racing about a million miles a minute. He absentmindedly leaned into your touch, his eyes threatening to close. “Your name is y/n.”

Your hand stopped in his hair, a smirk growing on your face. “So you do pay attention. I’m impressed, Captain. If you can even be called that. Have you earned the title of Captain?” He looked over at you, pulling your hand out of his hair and holding it in his own. “I can show you why they call me Captain, darling.”

You tapped your finger against your chin, acting like you were thinking about it. “I’ll pass. But, thank you for the invite, gorgeous.” You went to pull away but he pulled you back towards him, your chests pressing together. “You don’t know who you’re toying with, lassie.”

“I’ll see you around, James.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving a dark kiss mark from your lipstick. He huffed, watching you gather your things. “You’re not even going to consider? I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Maybe another time, pretty boy. After all, I do love to stare at that little face of yours.”

Hook stormed into his room, throwing his bag down on his bed. Morgie looked over at him from his desk. “Hey, Hook… What’s on your face?” Hook groaned, slamming the bathroom door open and looking at himself in the mirror. Right in the middle of his cheek was a big ol’ kiss mark from you. “She’s playing hard to get, Morgs. But I’m not going to let her win.” he grumbled, trying to rub the kiss mark off with water.

Ever since the second that Hook laid his eyes on you in class, he was instantly infatuated. Your confidence, your playfulness, your drop dead gorgeousness… He wanted it all.

Morgie got up, leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. “What if she’s just not interested?” Hook spun around on his heels to face Morgie. “Oh, she’s interested. She’s hot, I’m gorgeous. It’s meant to be.” Morgie slowly nodded, making his way back to his desk.

“You’ll see, Morgs. A pirate always knows how to get their treasure.”

“Okay, Hook.”

You were laid out on a towel at the Enchanted Lake, trying to soak up some sun before the weekend was over. While relaxing, you couldn’t help but think about your new… admirer. You knew that you were playing hard to get, but you couldn’t help it. He was just so fun to play with. No matter what, he kept trying. It was intriguing, to say the least. You couldn’t lie and say that you weren’t even the tiniest bit interested, though. After all, he was gorgeous. But you didn’t give in that easily to anything.

“Sitting by yourself, darling?”

You took a deep breath, not even having to open your eyes to know who the voice belonged to. “Yes, I am, pirate boy. Emphasis on the “by myself” part. How do you keep finding me?” you asked, propping yourself up on your elbows so you could look at him. “I was, uh, actually just passing by. Then I saw you and I thought that I would stop and say hi.” You bit your lip, trying your best to hide the smile that was trying to make way on your face.

“You don’t think that’s a little odd?” You stood up, walking over to him. “I mean, not that I mind, pretty boy. But, you don’t know who you’re messing with.” Within seconds, there was a small blade pointed at Hook. His eyes widened and his face turned a cherry red. “Where did you even pull that out from?” You just shrugged. “A good pirate always keeps a method of defense on hand. If you need tips, pirate boy, I could always give you a… little lesson.”

“A lesson?” he scoffed, his face still as red as his jacket. You reached up, straightening out his jacket. “Careful, love, any more flustered and your skin will completely blend in with this jacket of yours.” Teasing him seemed a little mean, sure, but he made teasing him simply too easy. Any ounce of attention you gave him went straight to his head. It was cute.

“Well, I think that under all the knives and the mysterious attitude, you’re interested in me too. I mean, you haven’t even tried to kill me yet. Any good pirate would’ve taken their enemy down already.” he smirked, his smirk only growing bigger when he saw the shocked look on your face. He caught you. “Listen, gorgeous. If I let you take me out, will you sod off?”

“Only if you don’t fall magically in love with me, which you will.”

“We’ll see about that one.” you huffed. You were definitely interested, but you weren’t going to let him know that. “Meet me here next Friday at twelve. Bring a towel.” He nodded enthusiastically. “Next Friday, twelve, towel. Got it.”

You cupped his cheeks, holding onto his face so he was looking you in the eye. “I look forward to it. Don’t be late though. I don’t like to be kept waiting.” Pulling away, you gathered your things and left him standing there.

Let the fun begin.

a/n: i think i’m gonna do a part 2, but let me know! i’m sorry it’s a little short, thank you so much for reading MWAH MWAH MWAH

taglist: @skellseerwriting @sleepyking @ljaylmaoo @lesbpotmurdocklokistan @yokolesbianism @eretsupremacy89 @descendantsramblings @thegoddessofnothingness

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I used to question why I can’t enjoy zk total AUs. Okay, the characters have no future and no chemistry in canon, but what bothers me so much if their relationship takes place somewhere entirely different? And then I realized.

The girl/woman they write about is not Katara. A miserable, hapless and meek damsel in distress, with less backbone than a jellyfish, who silently allows her asshole friends/family to boss her around (even Cinderella protested more – at least she asked for permission to go to the ball and after getting a “no” went there anyway) is not Katara (who never hesitates to tell loud and clear if she doesn’t like something). A cynical and bitter girlboss, so desperately needing to embrace her dark side (and showing no other sides to begin with) is not Katara. A very, very sexy (horny, actually) femme fatale who only lives to screw with hot boys is not Katara. Some sunshine girl next door, so sweet that you’ll get diabetes, and all caring without any goal of her own is not Katara (come on, she’s a model of a well-written female character exactly because she has her own goals). A “strong” woman who suffers in her horrible marriage but only ever throw tantrums instead of doing something about it is not Katara.

The boy/man they write about is not Zuko. Some perfect confident smart person who controls every situation imaginable and is effortlessly cool, James Bond style is not Zuko (he was only truly cool in “The Blue Spirit” I guess, all the other time he was mostly dramatic and I love it). A dream guy who knows all radfem manifests by heart and follows them to a T is not Zuko. A guy who resembles a plushie more than a human being because he’s so soft and uwu and harmless and pure vanilla concentrate, poor victim who never ever did nothing wrong and needs all the comfort is not Zuko (he really is an abuse victim, but this did not make him good in the slightest – other things did). A sexy bad boy with tsundere vibes (“he bullies you because he secretly loves you” bullshit and all that jazz), who a main girl must fix with sex, is not Zuko. A malewife soccer mom, greatest with the kids and household, is not Zuko. A sex god (a rock-drill, according to how his actions in bed are described) in any of these cases is not Zuko (well, I don’t know anything about his sex life, but this is not his main trait anyway, he’s repeatedly shown to be interested in other stuff more).

Anyway, I don’t know all these people and honestly, for some reason they are boring as fuck.

Oh, and this all applies to many zk “in-canon” fics too, actually.

Facts. Also bonus points for acknowledging that Cinderella had a spine, people keep forgetting that on their bullshit "classic disney sucks" takes and it pisses me off.

[thehamletdiaries]

Casting If We Were Villains (and The Secret History) characters in Hamlet

Since for some reason they don't...do Hamlet in the book (I'm joking, it's a wonderful book, I am not criticising!) and I am in the mood, clearly, to spam post (sorry all, and thank you for your indulgence) here's my take on who should play who (none of this is particularly intelligent - it's very much "the obvious casting choices based on who they generally play").

James, as the one that plays "the hero", would play Hamlet.

Oliver, who 1. plays "the sidekick" and 2. is James' love interest and 3. I love him would play Horatio.

Richard, who is the dark, "villain" character, in the conceit of the novel, would play Claudius.

Alexander, who does typically play the villain characters, I actually think would play a very sinister, spymaster general version of Polonius.

Wren, who traditionally plays the sort of...typically ingénue character, for want of a better way to put it, would play Ophelia.

Meredith, who plays the sort of "femme fatal" characters...which isn't really what Gertrude is but...you know, I think it works and I think she would play her well; so she would play Gertrude.

Filippa would play Guildenstern...and this is the point I run out of main characters so someone else would have to play Rosencrantz and also I've somehow been left with no Laertes.

....ok, so I have now invented a crossover for literally no good reason.

So, let us imagine that The Secret History lot for lord knows what reason except it's fun for me joined the production (it's some weird...mixed school production thing...also this must already exist as a crossover people want to see), so I can at least cast the rest of the main characters from them...

Bunny I think would make most sense as Rosencrantz; he's probably the most theatrical of the group and I think he would play off Filippa well in a duo dynamic.

Frances strikes me as someone who could do a certain very insecure version of Laertes, very much method and very much drawing on his own life.

Henry as the Ghost of King Hamlet cause he's very sinister and also he's a terrible person so it fits.

Charles as Fortinbras would be terrifying and hot at the same time.

Camilla would be the player queen (as a change from the player king); gender bending this role with her would work really well I think.

Richard would be....I don't even know, Bernardo and Osric and just a bunch of random characters he's basically the chorus; which really mirrors his role in the book.

[autisticempathydaemon]

On Repeat Playlist Tag

Rules: shuffle your repeat playlist ten times and tag ten people

Tagged by @pinksparkl, @nortyourself, @halscafe, @cashandprizes, and @epaulettesharks! Y’all really want a taste of my shitty music lol

Tagging: @penncilkid @mr-laveau @tepid-judas @frenchiefitzhere @caelumsnuff @gingerbreadmonsters @litlkim @wingless-cupid @calicostorms @just-call-me-angel

I am obsessed with singing this song okay it reminds me of zydeco music and it makes me homesick

I am cringe and I am free

I don’t need to explain myself also Hephaestus is a bomb singer

Not as fun as the actual musical but still such a bad bitch anthem

I cannot express to you the sheer gender euphoria I experience being Audrey II it is frankly something to bring up to a therapist

Proof of too much time spent on Lexi’s yandere playlist

Double proof

The one song I play in my car that the Boyf well and truly hates which is saying something given how often I rickroll him

I like to sing this and pretend I’m a femme fatale and not a marshmallow that wished to be a real boy

This tracks it wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t at least one K-pop adjacent song on here

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

Cry Terror!

I’ve written before that sometimes a single poorly thought-out scene can sink a film. Conversely, sometimes a single well thought and executed scene can elevate one. Andrew L. Stone’s CRY TERROR! (1958, TCM) seems a tidy little thriller with a few improbabilities. Then three’s a scene in which Inger Stevens, as a woman whose family is being held hostage by extortionists, has to collect money from a room full of FBI agents. She’s on a tight schedule; she must deliver the cash in another part of town by a specific time, or her husband (James Mason) and daughter (Portland Mason, his off-screen daughter) will be killed. As she makes the transaction and races to the elevator, she tries to spit out as much information as possible as the agents bombard her with questions. Stone shoots her exit in one long tracking shot as lines overlap and build in tension until you’re almost jumping out of your seat hoping she’ll get out of there in time. From then on you forget the strange structure of the film’s opening or the thought that a criminal mastermind as meticulous as the one played by Rod Steiger would trust a speed addict and sex maniac (Neville Brand) to help execute his plans. Stone never lets the tension flag again. When the film ended, I wasn’t sure if I needed to check my temperature or take up smoking.

But there is that opening. An airline gets word there’s a bomb on one of their flights. Hearing the report on television (delivered by NBCs own Chet Huntley), TV repairman Mason realizes he was duped into building the bomb by an old army buddy (Steiger) who said it was a tryout for a government contract. Do you smell fish? It’s hard to conceive that anyone as intelligent as Mason would fall for such a cockamamie story. But he did, and before long, he and his family are being held in various locations by Steiger and a gang that also includes Jack Klugman and Angie Dickinson.

There’s a lot of good work in the film. Though Steiger seems to be channeling parts of his performance from THE BIG KNIFE (1955), at least he’s channeling a powerful performance that fits the character. Stevens makes a great damsel in distress who develops surprising levels of strength under adversity, while Dickinson is pretty much a revelation as a distinctly modern film noir femme fatale. You don’t get a lot of background on any of the characters, but between her character’s posh penthouse apartment and the way she breathes excitedly while describing how she’s prepared to off Stevens and her daughter with a stiletto, you get a vivid picture of a trust-fund thrill junkie. There’s an interesting tension in the film between the scenes with Mason’s family and their captors, which veer towards well-earned high drama, and more documentary-style scenes, some with non-actors, involving the airline and the FBI. You get a sense of the way terror can invade the real world. That tension’s elevated now by our knowledge of the many well-known actors in roles small and large. Throughout the film it’s hard not to think, “Oh, look, there’s Patty Duke’s TV father. There’s Quincy and Pepper Anderson. There’s Al Capone. There’s another Al Capone. There’s the three-eyed alien from THE TWILIGHT ZONE.” The horror is visited upon and/or created by people we’ve had in our living rooms. BTW, if you’re good, you can name all of those actors without looking them up.

[aegor-bamfsteel]

I find Rohanne Webber story tragic. I don't know if she comes into a category of femme Fatale but I don't think she was a villain like Cersei or Dany. She had similarities with Sansa too.

A Femme Fatale isn’t necessarily devoid of sympathy or complexity (though she can be). In fact, it’s a staple for the woman to be trapped in a loveless or even abusive relationship, and use her sex appeal to help get out of it. This is so common in the James Bond series it’s a category of Bond Girl (usually the woman is abused by the villain and seduces the willing Bond to help her bring him down), but even it’s used in the ASOIAF series with Cersei, Rohanne, Dæny uses her beauty to get the Stormcrows on her side. While Cersei and Dæny are villains toward the Starks, the narrative doesn’t really condemn Cersei for killing Robert (hence Ned’s sympathetic reaction to Robert hitting her) and certainly not Dæny using nonviolent means to conquer cities (it’s the aftermath GRRM has a problem with). You’re hardly alone thinking Rohanne’s backstory is sympathetic—she was married 6 times since the age of 10, and had stillborn children while in her early teens—I’m just saying it’s not the focus of the story; and as Dunk points out, that doesn’t give her the right to deliver harsh punishments for minor slights (the people in the crow cage, Dake, even Bennis), not telling Eustace the water isn’t his by law, willing to kill smallfolk with well-armed knights over accepting a weregeld/blood price at least initially. The backstory is an explanation of why Coldmoat is so important to her over the men in her life, not a justification. She’s not evil, but she’s not wholly good either; the grayness of her conflict with Eustace is a microcosm of the conflict between both sides of the Blackfyre Rebellion (no antis, the Red supporters aren’t perfect angels who were attacked for no reason by the evil racist Darmon supporters), and how they could be reconciled over their mutual losses.

[solitaireships]

Since you ship with an oc, I've been wondering if you have any other ocs? I'd love to hear abt them if you do :00

God do I have a lot of OCs lol. I’m mainly gonna talk about my fandom ones just bcs I hope to one day write stuff professionally so my original OCs are ones I’d rather keep as surprises for now. So all of these are rw/by OCs

First up, Harvey Ironwood! Harvey’s the protag of one of my upcoming fanfics, and they’re the adopted child of Chae-Yeong and James. They’re a kind hearted, hardworking person with a playful side. They’re generally speaking a down to earth person, but they can get in their head sometimes. Their allusion is to the Aesop fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper, with them being the Ant from it

Rowan Ahn is from the same fic as Harvey. She’s stubborn and blunt, often getting into fights but that’s mainly bcs she has a strong sense of justice. She’s simultaneously super smart and a little dumb. Also she’s a Faunus and has bat ears! Her allusion is to the folktale of Dokkaebi Bangmangi (aka thr Goblin’s Club)

Syrin Vermeil is also from that fic, and she’s Harvey’s sister (also adopted). She’s a Faunus with a fox tail, and she tends to come off as a little stuck up bcs she’s a huge perfectionist and super image conscious. She’s by no means mean, but she is very competitive and secretive with her feelings. Her allusion is to the Aesop fable of the Astronomer Who Fell Into a Well

Lilya Zelyonaya is the final member if their team (Team HASL, pronounced “hazel”). She’s a kind of weird, quiet goth girl who is actually mainly just unsure of how to talk to people. She has a teddy bear that she carries with her everywhere named Miss Medved. Also Miss Medved can become a big spectral bear that fights to defend her. Her fairy tale allusion is to Vasilisa the Beautiful

Monday Noire is another OC I made for rwby, tho they’re not related to HASL. They’re a detective and I’ve jokingly said before that they’re simultaneously the hard broiled detective and femme fatale from a film noir. They’re a little bit of a contradiction and rough around the edges, but they’re also very smart and very capable of putting tiny details together to solve a mystery. Also they’re kinda a disaster (affectionate). They would have been the protagonist of a VN murder mystery idea I had where they’d work with James to investigate a series of murders. Their allusion is to the fairy tale The Robber’s Bride

Azalea Heather is basically rw.by’s version of Regina George. She’s a classic mean girl, and while I gave her more depth in a rw.by based ttrpg that I ran, she will not be getting as much in other stuff bcs she’s more fun as an antagonist tbh. She’s a mean girl from a wealthy family, and while she has a lot of social power, she’s not quite as capable as a fighter or on her own. And that does frustrate her a lot bcs she very determined to separate herself from her family. Her allusion is to Aphrodite, and also her last name was a reference to Heathers lol

Last one for now is Samhain Hyeoraek. She’s a Huntress but prefers to call herself a monster hunter bcs she seeks out both particularly dangerous Grimm and people for her missions. My idea with her is that she’d be a bit like Erica from the Something is Killing the Children comics in personality. And she’d have some short stories or something focused on her hunting down different monsters/people inspired by urban legends and cryptids. She doesn’t have a hard and fast allusion bcs she’s the least developed OC here tbh, but the current one I’m using for her is the Wild Hunt

[choices-binglebonkus]

I haven't caught up with TPA since like late December, but I've been rereading your post about 10 Rights and Wrongs with TPA and I wanna add my thoughts on it. I'll mainly only comment on stuff that I have something to say about. These may be subject to change when I complete the book.

Soundtrack

Agreed with you, it's absolutely brilliant. It has a James Bond vibe that I like, and even ignoring that it's just really well-composed. I love the adventurous intro theme especially, as well as the steamy scene track– I will happily listen to those on repeat and never get tired.

Outfits

Agreed on that too, I didn't vibe with majority of the f!MC outfits besides the default ones but they still did do a good job making them look good for the most part.

I definitely hate the fem MC having a crop top as the cold outfit. I wouldn't mind it as much if they did the same with m!MC; it'd still be impractical, but like, either give both of them crop tops or neither of them crop tops. Enough with the "must be sexy because woman" outfits, goddammit.

Speaking of shitty outfit gendering, I also hate that m!MC's "sexy underwear" equivalent to fem MC's lingerie is a goddamn robe and boxers. The robe is admittedly nice and has a "luxurious evening" vibe that I like, but come the fuck on, stop playing it safe and basic with the m!MC and m!LI outfits all the damn time.

Vivian

I'm very mixed on her. On her own, I quite enjoy her as a character. She's fun, she's got some good lines, and she doesn't really come off as obnoxious.

But in the story, she just feels weirdly out-of-place in it? Perhaps because I've associated TPA as being the Choices' edition of a James Bond adventure, so it does feel unusual to have one of the main characters be a quirky nerd type. But hey, that does make TPA a little more unique.

But while I haven't caught up, I know others said that missions and tasks are way too easy with her being present, hence the lack of stakes.

Hookups

I didn't play any actual dirty-30 hookup scenes, but I did enjoy the buildup scenes to them and I'm sad we haven't gotten other hookup opportunities. Especially since I played as wlm, where the dynamics were very different from how PB usually writes their average wlm romance. I am forever here for male Lou swooning over f!MC being heroic and male Alexis's femme-fatale-esque persona. I found them way more interesting than the majority of MC and Agent Grey's dynamic. Speaking of which...

LI

One thing that is nice about the romance is that MC is the one who is more experienced in GAIA while Agent Grey is the new member. Honestly it's very refreshing (especially as wlm) considering how often PB's romance involves MC being the newbie and LI being the boss/teacher/celebrity/etc.

But character wise? Agent Grey doesn't work as an LI. Or at least not a main/single LI. It's It feels like they're only the LI by virtue of being MC's work partner. I'd rather Agent Grey have just been... still our work partner, but also as a casual hookup option like Alexis and Lou rather than our romance interest.

Possibly controversial opinion, I think a book that is just "no romance, only casual hookups" would be something unique for PB to write (granted the hookups don't take over the entire story). PB needs a break from writing romance and it shows.

GOC/Pronouns

A lot of people said this one "actually feels like it was written with male MC in mind for once". I have a lot of issues with that statement due to the fact a lot of the fandom's takes on what counts as "female coding" can be very dubious.

Regardless, even if this was written with mlw in mind, I've still been finding it very enjoyable and made sense (dare I say better and more unique) in a wlm route.

Any actual gender coding errors I've seen or heard about are very minimal. Though I will say that it made me want to sob to see male Agent Grey's swimsuit described as a "swimsuit that hugs his hips" despite his swimsuit in question being boring swimtrunks and a basic-AF open beach shirt rather than, yknow, a swimsuit that actually hugs his hips.

And that's about all I've got for now.

Thanks for your insights anon!

[dollycas]

Special Guest - Michael Rands - One of the Authors of Crime & Culpability: A Jane Austen Mystery Anthology #AuthorGuestPost #Giveaway - Great Escapes Book Tour

Crime & Culpability: A Jane Austen Mystery Anthology by Regina Jeffers, Riana Everly, Jeanette Watts, Michael Rands, Linne Elizabeth, Emma Dalgety, and Elizabeth Gilliland I am delighted to welcome Michael Rands to Escape With Dollycas today! What is Noir? by Michael Rands This was the question at the heart of a seminar I took in grad school. This class proved to be one of the most enjoyable and memorable, not least because I would frequently sit next to my then crush, now wife. As the old saying goes: Couples who bond over Noir, bond for life. But really what is noir? It is one of the easiest and most difficult genres to define. Easy, because, well, you know when you’re watching film noir. Difficult, because you would have a hard time explaining why you know this. Comedy, you laugh. Romance, you swoon as two people fall in love. Horror is… horrifying. Noir? There’s a guy in a coat and a hat, a seductive woman with evil intentions, and a crime. It’s a rather bizarre definition, but it’s a start. Noir arose quite suddenly, with many of the most famous American noir films shot within a few years, and almost all shot within a decade. Several of the classics were shot during or just after the Second World War: The Maltese Falcon (1941), Double Indemnity (1944), The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946). A real darkness permeates these films. Shot in black and white, the images are shadowy, nightmarish. The characters inhabit a dark world. The most famous stock character associated with this genre is the femme fatale—a deadly woman who uses her sexuality to lure men into sin and destruction. The villainous men, it should be noted, seldom require much persuasion. In Double Indemnity (a candidate for the noiriest of noir films) Phyllis Dietrichson, convinces the insurance salesman Walter Neff, to help her kill her husband after she takes out a policy on his life. The story (like many other in the genre) is filled with betrayal, murder, doomed sexual liaisons, and downward spirals that end in the destruction of all the schemers. The world is dark. The characters are dark. The story circles around the sinkhole of nihilism, and yet there is some form of justice. This justice however seldom comes at the hand of a redeemer, a white knight. Instead, the perpetrators of the crimes tend to implode under the weight of their own misdeeds. Agents of order are often as morally dubious as the villains they pursue. Detective Sam Spade of The Maltese Falcon, played by Humphrey Bogart, is the quintessential example of such a man. He smokes, drinks heavily, engages in intimidation and violence. He’s gruff and nasty. He is at least a partial influence for the many troubled detectives we’ve come to love in books and on screen. Spade, like most characters in the “noir-verse” began in the pages of a short novel. Dashiel Hammet (Spade’s creator), along with James Cain and Raymond Chandler, pioneered the genre of Hardboiled Detective Fiction a decade or so before the boom in noir films. Their stories and characters provided the blueprints for most of the classic films, with Chandler additionally writing many famous screenplays. All this is to say that noir, one of the most visually distinctive film genres, has its roots in fiction, in the written word. The city of Los Angeles plays an important role in the Noirosphere. Of course, the early films were shot in the city, but many of the most influential writers including the three mentioned above, spent some time in L.A. Contemporary Neo-noir writers like Walter Mosley have set their stories there too, perhaps in homage to these early pioneers. Despite the short duration of the original crop of noir, the genre has had an outsized influence on film and literature. Every hard drinking detective, femme fatale, and nihilistic double-crosser, owes at least some noirish debt. Writers as un-obviously noirish as Cormac MacCarthy have dipped their toes in noir-blood, and celebrated directors like Quentin Tarantino and the Coen Brothers are openly influenced by the genre. I’m sure it’s obvious to see how Jane Austen fits into all of this.  Born and raised in Los Angeles, the daughter of a private detective and a failed insurance salesman… But no, there is some logic. For one, we’re writing about Jane Austen and Crime. And, if it’s not obvious yet, I am an unapologetic fan of this shady genre. Austen’s famously adaptable characters have taken on countless lives across time, space and genre, and I could not but help see them putting on their noir-garb, and heading out to L.A. Mr. Wickham, the shady, manipulative, semi-criminal womanizer, was all but begging to be cast in a noir retelling of his story. Lydia Bennet, a few years older, jaded and hardened from her earlier experiences hanging out with a sociopath and his rough friends, might find herself noirified, too. As for Lizzie Bennet and Mr. Darcy, I tread carefully, for fear of making enemies. But, there is a place for them. I hope you’ll take a chance on this and see how it all fits together. Thank you! Thank you, Michael, for visiting today with a great topic! _____ Keep reading to learn more about Michael and Crime & Culpability. About Crime & Culpability Crime & Culpability: A Jane Austen Mystery Anthology Cozy Mystery Anthology Settings -  (Regency England, modern-day America) Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bayou Wolf Press (September 10, 2024) Print length ‏ : ‎ 176 pages Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0D6JQN6JL "No one can withstand the charm of such a mystery." - Jane Austen, Persuasion Jane Austen mysteries have become a popular subgenre of Austen variations, but this is more than just a trend. Austen was a masterful storyteller who embedded clues within her stories for her readers to follow, inviting readers to read between the lines and "gather the evidence" to follow her intricate plotlines. In this anthology, various authors who are also fans and admirers of Austen's work have taken the challenge to add some mystery to Austen's stories and characters. From Regency sequels to film noir retellings to cozy art heists, Crime and Culpability: A Jane Austen Mystery Anthology explores the many faces of Austen and all of her enigmas. Featuring stories by Regina Jeffers, Riana Everly, Jeanette Watts, Michael Rands, Linne Elizabeth, Emma Dalgety, and Elizabeth Gilliland, with a foreword by Regina Jeffers and an introduction by Elizabeth Gilliland Rands. About the Authors Elizabeth Gilliland: Elizabeth Gilliland is the author of the Austen University Mysteries series, including What Happened on Box Hill, The Portraits of Pemberley, and two prequel novellas, Dear Prudent Elinor and Sly Jane Fairfax. (Look out for book three sometime next year!) She has written and presented at various academic confer‐ ences on Jane Austen and wrote her dissertation on Jane Austen adaptations, dedicating herself to watch the lake dive scene as many times as necessary for scholarly pursuit. She also writes Gothic horror as E. Gilliland and romance as Lissa Sharpe, and she is the co-founder of Bayou Wolf Press. Author Links Website    Twitter (X)   Facebook    Goodreads   Blog    Newsletter   Amazon   Regina Jeffers - Regina Jeffers writes books about corsets, rakes, daring heroines, dashing heroes and all aspects of the Georgian/Regency era. She is an award winning author of cozy mysteries, historical romantic suspense, and Austenesque vagaries. Jeffers has been a Smithsonian presenter and Martha Holden Jennings Scholar, as well as having her tales honored by, among others, the Daphne du Maurier Award for Excellence in Mystery/Suspense, the Frank Yerby Award for Fiction, the International Digital Awards, and the Chanticleer International Book Award. Author Links:  Every Woman Dreams (Blog)   Always Austen (Group Blog)    Facebook    Twitter    Amazon Author Page   Pinterest   BookBub   Instagram   Regina Jeffers Website  Riana Everly: Riana Everly is an award-winning Canadian author of Austenesque fiction, both Regency and contemporary. Her historical mystery series, Miss Mary Investigates, has quickly become a favourite of Jane Austen fans and cosy mystery fans alike. Trained as a classical musician, she also has advanced degrees in Medieval Studies, and pretended to be an academic before discovering that fiction doesn’t need footnotes. She loves travelling, cooking her way around the world, playing with photography, and discussing obscure details with her husband and children. Possibly in Latin. She can be found in the usual places and loves connecting with readers, so please give her a shout! Author Links: Newsletter   Website   Facebook    Instagram  Amazon Jeanette Watts: Jeanette Watts is a dance instructor, writer, seamstress, actress, and very, very poor housekeeper. With books on historical fiction, modern romantic comedy, LGBTQ romance, Jane Austen-inspired stories, and she is contemplating writing steamier works, what do all these genres have in common? Jeanette writes about people with a secret. Secrets are fun. Keep up with the various parts of Jeanette's brain at her YouTube Channel, “History is My Playground,” and her webpages, Jeanette‐ Watts.squarespace.com and DancingThruHistory.com. Author Links Instagram     Facebook     Twitter      Linked In      Website 1     Website 2     Goodreads     Jeanette_Watts Amazon Author Page Michael Rands: Michael Rands is the author of the novels The Chapel St. Perilous and Praise Routine Number Four, co-author of the economic satire The Yamaguchi Manuscripts, and Kamikaze Economics (a story of modern Japan). He’s co-author of the humorous dictionary Stay Away from Mthatha. He co-created the audio drama The Crystal Set and co- hosted the podcast Detours Ahead. In South Africa he worked in television as a writer, director and producer. He taught English in Japan. He holds an MFA from Louisiana State University, and currently teaches English and Creative Writing at the college level. He is the co-founder of Bayou Wolf Press. He lives with his wife, son, and labrador, in Alabama. His new novel, When the Witch Calls, comes out in November 2024. Author Links Facebook    Twitter    Instagram    Blog Linné Elizabeth: Linné Elizabeth is an English instructor at Utah Tech University, a freelance content writer, and an award-winning author. When she's not devouring chocolate while nose-deep in a book, you can find her playing in the russet desert of southern Utah with her four incredible - sometimes feral - kids and her handsome husband. Check her out on Instagram: @library4one or on Facebook: @linneelizabeth  Author Links Website   Instagram: @Library4One   LinkedIn    Facebook    Blog Emma Dalgety: Emma Dalgety grew up in Mobile, Alabama. She received a BA in Music and English from the University of Mobile in 2023. As a musi‐ cian and a writer, she has performed violin across the Southeast and internationally, finding creative inspiration and filling notebooks with story fragments throughout her travels. When she isn't writing, she is researching interdisciplinary connections in literature as she works towards an MA in English, or teaching music lessons in her private studio. 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[honourablejester]

Is this, the anxiety about working women, a common interpretation? I’d never heard it before.

Not an interpretation I’d have come to myself, either. The femme fatales that I think of first aren’t usually working girls, they’re things like wealthy wives wanting to bump off their husbands (Phyllis Dietrichson from Double Indemnity), wealthy heiresses trying to cover up their (/family’s) crimes (Vivian Rutledge, The Big Sleep), itinerant conwomen (Vera, Detour), or ex gun-molls who shot their shady boyfriends and will do anything (and seduce anyone) to make it out alive and with the cash (Kathy Moffet, Out of the Past).

The femme fatale is more … the woman who pretends to love you (or even genuinely does love you) but whose priority is something else, often money, and she’ll use you until she gets it and then go through you for a shortcut afterwards. They’re usually not working girls, they’re bored and murderous wives, alluring crooks, or desperate blackmailers. They’re either rich already, seeking more control over their money, or desperately seeking financial stability via crime. The fear to me feels more like being used and discarded by a woman who wants something else more than you, at least in some of the cases?

Also, a lot of the classic 40s noir movies were based on books that were written much earlier, in the 30s, which would pre-date the post-war economic anxieties (although fit right in for the Depression-era economic anxieties, and the ‘woman willing to kill for money’ might well fit there). Though, granted, a lot of those stories were altered in the book-to-screen transition, and the adaptations likely did reflect more contemporary anxieties.

There was also some real life inspiration for some of the famous femmes fatale. Both Phyllis Dietrichson of Double Indemnity and Cora from The Postman Always Rings Twice, both by James M. Cain, might have been at least partly inspired by Ruth Snyder, a woman who in 1927 murdered her husband with her lover in the hopes of cashing out the insurance policy they’d ‘signed’ in his name.

There’s a lot going on with noir as a genre, it’s a whole melting pot for a bunch of early 20th century anxieties. The class changes coming out of the Belle Epoque, the interwar period, prohibition and rampant crime in the 20s, the massive economic turmoil of the stock market crash and the Great Depression in the 30s, and then, yes, the social changes during and following WWII in the 40s, with so many disaffected returning soldiers, rampant crime, and the skyrocketing rates of divorce that resulted from hasty wartime marriages. Noir as a genre was an attempt to ground Hollywood glamour in some of the darker realities of those very turbulent few decades, and while the femme fatale has certain common traits, she also has a lot of variety, reflecting more than one anxiety of the time. She’s just … the woman who’s just as hard and bleak and dangerous as the men, except men (in Hollywood movies in the 40s) didn’t usually fall in love with other men, but they could (and shouldn’t, and did) fall in love with the femme fatale. She was more a reflection of the general fear that the romance and safety of marriage that society had promised men at this time was no more real than the financial or physical safeties they’d been promised either.

Which, yes, women in the workforce is part of that disintegration of promised safeties, so I can see it as an element, an aspect of the fear. But I wouldn’t have said it was the driving one, just one more facet of the perceived social degradation embodied in the noir genre. Textually, a lot of the classic femmes fatale weren’t even in spitting distance of a factory job. For a start, it’s not exactly glamourous. And for a second, that’s a long, slow way to get what you want, when you can just murder or betray someone for money instead. Or string some poor lovesick sucker along as a patsy for your crimes, or as an escape hatch for your schemes.

Basically, I don't think the fear was of being supplanted, or at least not in all cases, it was more a fear of being used. Controlled. Betrayed. Murdered. The femme fatale wasn't the woman who replaced you, she was the woman who lured you, seduced you, lied to you, hurt you, controlled you, incited you to do things you wouldn't normally do. Instead of being the safe harbour, the soft, righteous reward promised to the hero, she hurt you instead. Used you. Love is a lie, marriage is a lie, and murder might well be the result.

My film noir hot take that I’ve been mulling over for a while is that I really don’t think the femme fatale in noir was an expression of anxiety about women working in the aftermath of WWII. Evil seductresses are present in literature since before the printing press, and in pulp crime fiction since at least the 1920s! And when did you ever see a femme fatale working as a mechanic or on an industrial assembly line? I’m not saying the archetype doesn’t pull from contemporary sexism, but Rosie the Riveter didn’t invent the idea of sexy mean ladies, especially in gritty melodrama.

[yestolerancepro]

My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to The Beatles without earmuffs!” A blog inspired by the music world of James Bond   Part 4 Bond Songs that didn’t hit the right note with me at least to start with and the Bond song I really hate

Introduction

Hello there and welcome to another episode of my blog that looks at the musical tastes of James Bond over the last 60 years the last episode looked at the Bond films that I don’t like for viarous reasons this chapter continues that trend.

 This also looks at a few of the Bond themes that took some getting used to plus the one Bond theme I really can’t stand.

Are there any James Bond Songs I don’t like ?

On first hearing Madonna’s title track for the Perice Brosnan Bond film Die Another day I hated it I think it was because it tried to do something different with the Bond format it was the first time I heard a Bond song that was aimed at the dance genre but it has since grown on me thanks to repeated listening.

The film itself is also very good if a little unrealestic in places with the the use of CGI  the kite surfing sequence being the worst offender Toby Stevens is excellant as the baddie of the film.

The two Bond girls in the film are very good as well Rosamand Pike as Miranda Frost and Hallie Berry Both were featured in recent articles about James Bond Movieweb made Miranda Frost one of there Deadliest Women of the James Bond Franchise coming in at number at Number 4

“I know all about you, 007. Sex for dinner, death for breakfast. Well, it's not going to work with me.”

Played by British actress Rosamund Pike, Miranda Frost is an Olympic fencer and a Secret Intelligence Service (SIS/MI6) agent who is actually working for the diamond tycoon Gustav Graves. When Bond (Brosnan) is tasked with eliminating a North Korean colonel, Miranda reveals his identity and motives to the latter’s right hand, which leads to his long-term capture.

When Bond later faces both Graves and Miranda, he realizes that his gun was emptied by her when they were in bed together. In the end, the arrogant femme fatale is killed by Bond’s ally, the American operative Jinx Johnson (Halle Berry), in a memorable sword duel.

Jinx Johnson (Halle Berry) meanwhile came in at number 11 in the Colider film website of the 16 Bond women that redefined the Bond Franchise.

Jinx Johnson – ‘Die Another Day’ (2002)

The final installment of Pierce Brosnan’s Bond films didn’t do a hell of a lot right. The story and tone were unbalanced, the action largely missed its mark, and – considering the other spy movies of its time – it undermined the franchise’s history of cinematic relevance. One thing that did work for it was Halle Berry’s Giacinta “Jinx” Johnson.

The NSA agent is tasked with assassinating rogue a North Korean agent and works closely with Bond to accomplish the mission. A tough and resourceful operative who matches Bond’s flare for personal vendettas, she excels as one of the franchise’s most empowering women and even manages to pay homage to Ursula Andress’ original Bond Girl in the process.

Q Branch

Die Another Day marked the James Bond franchise's 40th anniversary. So quite if not all of the gadgets from the prevous James Bonds appear in the Q Branch scene in the film

Its such a shame then the Desmond Lewelyn died shortly after making the world is not enough I would love to have seen him in this. John Cleese who had been introduced as R in that film became the new Q a lot of R comedic excesses of the World is not enough have gone as he takes his job as the new Q more seriously

I love the way John Clease channels Desmond Lewelyn when Perice Brosnon makes Jokes about the invisable car as I learn’t from my predecessor Mr Bond I never Joke about my work perfectly delivered by Clease and a line said by Q in the classic James Bond film Goldfinger more on that film later.

Gadgets introduced in Die another Day include :

Single digit sonic agitator

A "standard issue" ring for the finger which is actually an "ultra high-frequency single digit sonic agitator unit" that can shatter bullet-proof glass (or any " 'unbreakable' glass", as commented by Q in the movie) or disable another person.[9]

Omega Seamaster Wristwatch

Omega Seamaster 300M Chronometer - Contains an explosive detonator and laser beam cutter. The new Q states that this watch is Bond's 20th, which is a reference to the fact that Die Another Day is the 20th James Bond film.

Dream simulator

Gustav Graves uses this device to have dreams as he has insomnia.[90]

By far the best Gadget in Die another Day is the Aston Martin Vanquish which Q Branch has nicnamed the vanish because of its talent to turn invisible this car with all its toys came 2nd in Den of the Geeks top 10 gadgets featured in the James Bond films behind tha rocket pack

This is what Den of the Geek said about that magic car :

2. The Invisible Car

Back to Bond’s his for cars. If a submarine vehicle wasn’t enough, Die Another Day saw the character step into an invisible car; state of the art technology that the real-world still hasn’t managed to master. This was a moment of pure spy fantasy that thrilled moviegoers worldwide in its concept, although perhaps took some out of the experience because of its use of CGI.

Regardless, is there anything more Bond than a car that produces imagery based on adaptive camouflage, allowing the vehicle to blend into its environment and resulting in an action-packed snowy car chase? Well in fact, the only thing that could make this more 007 heavy is the brand of the car in question. The movie used a British Aston Martin V12 Vanquish for the sequence, playing heavily into a tradition that’s been maintained throughout the franchise. Cloaking device technology is still in development in reality, and right now they aren’t being pulled off quite in the same way as Her Majesty’s Secret Service managed to onscreen. Still, this makes for a memorable entry both for better and perhaps worse but has ranked so highly because of how it pushed the boundaries of the series.

To watch a trailer for Die another Day click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTznf1x4khc&list=PL17vqAEJv6CUxmeZBk3JGDLBbcPEd4CDp&index=10

to watch a trailer for for Perice Brosnan’s best moments from the Stormchaser Z YouTube channel click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf00BHDwUtA&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=289&t=21s

To read an article about how the Peirce Brosnan James Bond films rank with James Bond fans click here https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2559531/james-bond-pierce-brosnans-movies-ranked

To watch a tribute video for Tommorow Never Dies click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTKx5fITnzs

Writing on the Wall Spectre Sam Smith

I can also remember not liking Sam Smiths Writing on the Wall the title track for Daniel Craig’s Bond film Spectre on first listen but I love that too now.

the single became the first Bond movie theme to reach number one in the UK Singles Chart.The song won the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song at the 73rd Golden Globe Awards[8] and the Academy Award for Best Original Song at the 88th Academy Awards, making it the second consecutive Bond theme to win (after "Skyfall" by Adele in 2012).

I may like the song now but I still hate the film ha ha

According to this article on the Slash film website the Rock band Radiohead were the orignal choice to provide the title music for Spectre but were dropped at a late stage in the process to read about it click here https://www.slashfilm.com/1430955/james-bond-radiohead-unused-spectre-theme/

To watch a trailer for Spectre click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujmoYyEyDP8

Anyway back to the original question the only James Bond song I don’t like Another  way to Die from Daniel Craigs second Bond film Quauntum of Solace sung by Jack White and Alicia keys I am not really a big fan of the film either for me it was released too soon after Daniel Craig’s debut as Bond Casino Royale (which I loved)  the story in the film feels a bit rushed which makes it for me hard to follow the fact that the film was taking place during a writers strike might have something to do with it lol

To read an article about how the James Bond films of Daniel Craig rank with film fans click here https://collider.com/daniel-craig-james-bond-films-ranked/#:~:text=%E2%80%98No%20Time%20to%20Die%E2%80%99%20to%20%E2%80%98Skyfall%E2%80%99%3A%20Daniel%20Craig%E2%80%99s,Spectre%20...%205%205.%20Quantum%20of%20Solace%20

To watch a video highlighting Daniel Craigs best moments as James Bond click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozfccPhvFg8

If you wondering have I seen No Time to  Die yet the answer to that is No I know how it ends though the ending  was spoilt for me I won’t spoil it for you guys I won’t watch till I  know how the film producers plan to fix that cliffhanger

A lot of work has gone into this blog if you have read it and enjoyed it please consider giving a donation to the Tolerance project by clicking on the above link https://gofund.me/5cf25de4

Pictures

1) Die another Day UK Poster

2) Rosamand Pike as Miranda Frost

3) Hallie Berry as Jinx Johnson

4 The Aston Martin Vanquish

5) Spectre Poster

6) Quantum of Solice poster

Notes Thanks to the following websites Collider film for their 16 best Bond women that redifined the Franchise

Den of the Geek for their ten best ever gadgets seen in the Bond franchise

Cinema Blind for their James Bonds ranks series

Google images for the pictures  and Wikpedia for providing some of the background material on the gadgets

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #570

Top Ten Couples in Comics

Ah, love is in the air. Sort of. Soon-ish. Yes, it’s not technically anywhere near Valentine’s Day yet, but a confluence of other stuff in my life has made me dedicate this weekend to good old Cupid and his ruddy bloody arrows.

So a couple of years ago, around about now-ish, I was banging on something rotten about superhero romantic couples, but focusing solely on adaptations thereof. It was movie (and TV I guess) versions of superhero romances that flew backwards round my particular world. Now I’m returning to that well with a vengeance, as I discuss actual comic book incarnations of superheroes, and their respective squeezes.

I think it’s obvious what’s going to come highly here, as there’s at least one superhero romantic pairing that’s so iconic it transcends the very medium; there have been at least two live-action TV series with the characters names together in the title. The first “modern” superhero movie literally hung the story around the romance – including the world-spinning finale. And, yeah, quite a few more are fairly obvious I guess. But there are some that might be less iconic, less all-encompassing (although I imagine if we give James Gunn a couple of years these could all be household names); it’s an idiosyncratic list that, once again, reflects my particular tastes and thirty-odd years of reading history.

I’ve gone, here, for couples that I think work well together for one reason or another. And they’re couples that I’ve actually, y’know, read; not just those that exist in the atmosphere. I’ve tried to cast my net as broadly as possible but at the same time, if you’re aiming for superheroes, chances are you’re going to catch a lot of DC and Marvel characters. Which is fine! Those guys are totally iconic.

Anyway, with no further ado, let’s kick off the season of love by celebrating fictional super-people and their significant others.

Superman and Lois Lane: who else? They’re perfect together: a man with all the power in the world who only uses it to protect and inspire others; and a woman dedicated to finding and protecting the truth at all costs. She’s tough, he’s gentle, despite him being the strong one. Whether it’s the initial dynamic of Lois wanting Superman and ignoring Clark, or more modern stories where it’s Clark she falls in love with, or any variation in between, they’ve been doing this dance for eighty years. So strong is their bond, so well do they fit together, so iconic is their pairing, that nowadays it’d be weird if they weren’t presented as a couple; it didn’t take too long after the New 52 reboot undid their marriage for them to wind up not only back together again but with a child, to boot.

Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson: pretty much the whole time I ever read comics, Peter and MJ were a couple, if not married; as such, I find it really, really weird that they got magically un-married. Because they’re so great together, the teenage melodrama of their love playing out in tragi-adventurous fashion. MJ, groovy party girl, wannabe model, shows her strength and compassion when she comforts Peter after Gwen’s death; and, as they become close and fall in love, quiet nerd Peter comes out of his shell. They’re there for each other from their teenage years and you really get the feeling no one knows either of them so well. And the future-set stories, where they’re married with a superpowered daughter, are terrific too.

Batman and Catwoman: whilst nowadays this seems equally as inevitable as Lois and Clark, it’s actually a relationship that’s evolved over time. Catwoman started out as more of a femme fatale; sure, there was an attraction, but Bruce was given “proper” love interests for years, from Silver St. Cloud to Vikki Vale. But there’s just something about Selina. And really it makes sense; Bruce definitely has a dark side, so him being drawn to a Bad Girl, seeing the good inside her, and how he helps bring that to the surface without totally switching her to the straight and narrow… whether they actually end up together or are doomed to forever be apart, they’re perfect. And let’s face it, they’re just both super, super sexy.

Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon: no codenames here because it’s a love that transcends secret identities; Robin and Batgirl? Nightwing and Oracle? Bats and Babs? Like Peter and MJ, they’re a couple of kids, best friends who played out together at night, and then grew up and fell in love. I like that they had lives away from each other – Dick went off with the Titans and had another relationship; Babs pursued a career and overcame disability – but they come back together. There’s something so true and honest about the pair of them, and their relationship together, that makes them a perfect couple, even though part of that knowledge is that they probably can’t really make a go of it, not now, not at the moment.

Cyclops and Jean Grey: so much of their relationship is based around how it ended, but I still like them as a couple. It’s a bit weird, looking back decades later, how quickly some of the Sixties characters accelerated into middle-age, but I always think of Scott and Jean as like the X-Men’s mum and dad. They were a seemingly happy married couple, with just a touch of the usual Marvel angst; until she died, of course, in massively iconic fashion. In fact, it’s partly this tragedy – and how it effected both of them, with Jean’s weird resurrections and Scott’s batshit reactions – that partly defines their relationship.

The Elongated Man and Sue Dibny: I first came across this couple, and their adorable rock-solid relationship, when Sue was horribly murdered in the controversial Identity Crisis (a book which, weirdly, was basically my gateway to the wider DC Universe). Having read more about them, they’ve got serious couple goals: solid, dependable, best friends. I like how Sue totally supports Ralph’s super-heroing, but is more than just a hanger-on, becoming an integral part of the various books the Elongated Man was involved in. Even their deaths didn’t slow them down, as they popped up as ghosts – still together, of course.

Superboy and Wonder Girl: I was never a fan of attempts to match up Superman and Wonder Woman, but their Teen Titans analogues were a different kettle of Thanagarian Snare Beasts. Their slow-burning romance was the stuff of teen drama serials, as they bottle battled personal demons that got in the way of their feelings. They finally consummated things in the series Infinite Crisis, just before Superboy heroically died saving the multiverse; but this added extra wrinkles, as we saw the effect his death had not just on Wonder Girl but also Robin, and how it played into his (inevitable, this is comics) resurrection.

Green Arrow and Black Canary: some couples are soulmates; some are doomed, tragic romances; some are booty calls. And then there’s Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance. For decades now, they’ve bounced off and around one another, an all-time perfect romantic couple, a bickering, back-and-forth Eighties action movie pairing. They’ve fought and argued and – well – done other stuff, and it’s like a Shane Black exploding into When Harry Met Sally. They’re star-crossed lovers who are also often very cross. And, I’ve gotta say, there’s something just really sexy about the pair of them. I blame his beard. And her fishnets.

Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman: some of the characters in this list are married couples, but they’ve also spent a lot of time, well, not married – or even not together at all. Not so Reed and Sue: yes, of course, they weren’t married when they debuted at the very dawn of the MCU in 1962, but for the bulk of their history they’ve been married. And despite the likes of Doom and Namor trying to muscle in, they’ve been happily married for the most part – having a couple of super-powered kids. But they compliment each other so well: he’s an absent-minded genius, she’s phenomenally capable and arguably even more powerful, and there’s no sense that they don’t love and trust each other completely, even though they’re different in many ways. God, I can’t wait to see them on screen. Er, again.

Rocket Raccoon and Lylla Otter: maybe this one is entirely me; and unlike some of the other longer-running couples, really these two were only together in one mini-series forty years ago. But I like them! He’s a dashing adventurer; she’s the heir to a toy-making dynasty. Together, they battle nefarious, corrupt toymakers, try to avoid Lylla getting married, and cure a bunch of humans of insanity, all the while making weird refences to the Beatles’ song Rocky Raccoon. It’s incredibly strange and I adore it. And they do make a cute couple; there’s a bit of Han and Leia about them, and they go for nice picnics and cavort about in streams and suchlike. The Rocket presented here is very different from the one who became famous in the movies – and, indeed, quite a bit different from when the character became a member of the comic book Guardians too. Speaking of which, Lylla makes her big-screen debut this year in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and as a long-time fan, I cannot wait.

Feel a bit bad that I didn’t find room for any of the cool same-sex couples in comics, like Apollo and Midnighter or Hulkling and Wiccan. This is because, basically, I just haven’t really read enough comics about them I guess. But the latter two guys are an incredibly cute couple who very, very nearly made the list!

Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day. Er, a week from now. Yay!

[belle-keys]

Reflections: She got better after Clace concerning tropes

(NB... this is gonna be my last Reflections because I've got uni and shit to take on in September 😗)

Okay, so we know Cassandra Clare uses age-old tropes in her books: enemies-to-lovers, strangers-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, the evil seductress, the fearless warrior, the secret special snowflake, etc. However, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, becuse it’s sort of impossible to create written media without using any tropes. It’s how you use the tropes that makes written media interesting, and what I’ve noticed is that Cassie has gotten better at using tropes and paragons since TMI in her books by adding little twists and turns to them to avoid them becoming generic.

Starting off with TMI and Clace for example, we see that Clary is the classic “special teen with hidden powers that discovers a new supernatural world”, falling into that category with Bella Swan, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc. Jace is the aloof hottie with a Dark Past, and operates like a modern day Achilles if he made it out of Elysium, lmao. He’s pretty akin to Edward Cullen, Peter Mellarke, Dimitri Belikov, etc. Clace and their character arcs especially in the first TMI trilogy were pretty generic, even at the time they were published. (NB but Jace really is Achilles man like he’s *golden*, has the military-type fighting skills and discipline, powerful daddy issues, best of the Shadowhunters kinda like how Achilles was the best of the Greeks, feared and lauded by everyone, believed he’s destined for tragedy).

But looking at TID, for example, Cassie went with the Love Triangle trope that was especially popular around the time that TID was written, and she was like “oh hell no” and then created the greatest thing in the world known as Herongraystairs *Spongebob rainbow gif*. The late 2000s were kind of a mild time, and the rule of thumb was that the the main girl just had to end up picking one man in the triangle but nawww Cassie decided that Tessa Gray (bless her) would get both of her male counterparts at appropriate times, love them equally AND have it happen without any hostility between them. She completely outdid the Love Triangle trope.

I made a post discussing why Jemma is a great ship and a great spin on the Forbidden Lovers trope already, but I also need to say that Julian is an exceptional character. He, without hesitation, takes on the most traditional of feminine roles in the series yet isn’t feminine at all- he’s a very masculine protagonist. Julian’s more masculine roles (being a leader in a political revolution, being a schemer, being a fighter) are perfectly foiled with the traits which often assigned to female YA protagonists (no sexual experience before Emma, raises his siblings and bakes and shit, isn’t the one who’s snarky and quips or gets violent quickly). In having Julian take on the main parent role in TDA, it allowed Cassie to show a YA male lead who’s secure and doesn’t depend on what others make traditional masculinity out to be in order to dictate his behavior.

Now let’s look at TLH lastly. I’m really partial to this series as you all may know *cough*. The trope here is Secrets and Miscommunication (which I know some of you absolutely hate, but I think some of said miscommunication is actually necessary given the social context of the series but alas, I don’t blame yall for hating TLH because of this at all, lol). See, what works about the whole secrets and miscommunication trope tho is that everyone is not what they seem. Like Matthew’s the Wildean Libertine right, but he’s actually managed to use that branding as a shield from the shame of his guilt (Oscar Wilde’s philosophy laudes beauty and love, yet Matthew himself does not believe himself to be worthy of this coveted love - Matthew’s soul has turned Gothic despite his self-branding as an aesthete). Grace is the Evil Seductress, the Femme Fatale who must be eliminated so the Good Girl can get the guy, but in reality, Grace is inquisitive and inventive and loving when she’s not guarded - the one woman who the world thinks is heartless is actually the one who hurts the most and enjoys hurting the least. Then we have the James who’s the Eligible Bachelor - he’s well read, a leader, good at Shadowhunting, polite, handsome, and desired by the ladies of London. Yet at his core runs Belial’s blood and his inevitable ties to literal Hell. James, who should be the classic charming hero, is running from something very unmistakably rotten within him (even though his heritage is beyond his control). So these societal paragons are all tinged with something unexpected that makes them interesting imo.

So yeah, to conclude: yes, Cassie’s writing uses a lot of generic tropes but I’d argue that her writing has improved to make age-old tropes and epithets interesting and novel as TSC progresses. I think we also could all attribute the creation of the Herondale to Cassie: obnoxiously attractive and poetic young male with a bottomless heart and strong opinions on the proclivities and capabilities of ducks? Yeah, that’s a Herondale.

[acephysicskarkat]

My hot take is that “enemies-to-lovers is inherently abusive” and “c/a is not abusive because it’s enemies-to-lovers” come from the same bad assumption, which is that “abuse” and “enemies-to-lovers” are positively or negatively correlated, and they’re not.

Like, let’s consider, as a comparison, the Fifty Shades franchise (disclaimer: I’m going from the Folding Ideas three-part movie analysis here because regardless of quality I tend to avoid explicit sexual content). The writing issues with this romance aren’t that it is inherently abusive because it’s a relationship founded on kink and the lens of dominance and submission, nor is it the case, despite the author’s attempts to claim otherwise, that it being a kink-based d/s relationship means it’s not abusive; these are both unhelpful ways of framing the issue.

The problem with Fifty Shades as a romance is that it’s a kinky d/s relationship in which one of the partners behaves in an abusive fashion. It is entirely possible to write kinky d/s romances in which one of the partners isn’t selfish, manipulative and controlling; EL James just didn’t.

That’s the problem with c/a. It’s enemies-to-lovers, which is supposed to be a heightened, dramatic form of romance...but it repeatedly stumbles with its handling of C*tra, whose antagonism doesn’t feel heightened or dramatic but as petty and toxic. In most of her interactions with Adora she feels less like, say, a pirate queen choosing to spare one of the protagonists for enigmatic reasons and more like the ex you blocked on all social media platforms but with command of a tank battalion. There’s a very grounded, real-world core to the hostility that resonates poorly with romance just in general. There’s a reason why non-shitty enemies-to-lovers stories where one participant is explicitly an agent of evil tend to go for heightened, fantastic, sometimes stereotypical character roles: Mara Jade is a badass superspy wizard, Blackarachnia is a femme fatale, the Teen Titans version of Jinx is a reluctant supervillain, the dude in the “Genghis Khan” music video is a James Bond antagonist...and meanwhile, C*tra is Gotye’s character in “Somebody That I Used To Know” and Kyle Ron is a far-right Twitter reply guy. The grounded nature of the toxicity works well when the writing is engaging with real-world themes like C*tra mirroring the abuse she endured or the space incel as a commentary on resurgent contemporary fascism, but it meshes poorly with the heightened emotions demanded by the romantic subgenre.

(Nor does it help that the antagonism is totally independent of faction; it’s brought up in the show that C*tra isn’t committed to the Horde on an ideological level, which totally robs it of any level of factional commitment; all romance plots boil down to “why aren’t the characters together yet” and SP0P spends four seasons answering that with “because C*tra is kind of an asshole”.)

The few good things she does do for Adora are also way too early in the arc, since they’re functionally nonexistent from “The Promise” onwards; she goes like half the show’s runtime without actually seeming like she feels conflicted about the enmity at all (at least beyond one nightmare sequence that doesn’t even play a role in the rest of that episode, let alone the rest of the series). This means that when they do put in plot points that could work with enemies-to-lovers, such as C*tra being unwilling to hurt Adora in “Save the Cat”, it rings false because it’s weird that this unwillingness didn’t affect C*tra’s behaviour in “Battle of Brightmoon”, “White Out”, “Flutterina”, “Pulse” or the entire third season. Far from building up the romantic leads’ connection in the way most good romances of this kind do, the show kills it with a mallet, then props up the corpse with a broom handle and does the Weekend at Bernie’s thing.

Then there’s the handling of the childhood friendship and that promise, which was comprehensively ruined by the flashback in “Corridors” painting the friendship as kind of a mess. C*tra punishing Adora for having needs and wants outside of the relationship just takes the toxicity that’s defined the rest of the arc and pushes its start back to the age of nine; more damningly, it takes that promise to “have each other’s backs” and makes it look less like something C*tra genuinely meant and more like just another tool of control. It sucks.

As a comparison point, in the Thrawn trilogy, Mara Jade’s desire to see Luke Skywalker dead in a ditch is founded in his role in the Emperor’s death. However, it’s not an all-consuming drive. When they both crash in an endless jungle where they can’t use the Force, she reluctantly goes along with Luke’s suggestion of a team-up because she isn’t so invested in killing him that she views her own life as expendable in that pursuit. In the next book, she actually seeks him out for assistance, because she values the life she’s built and needs his help to preserve it! Those uneasy collaborations help build up the connection and make the decline in the hostility slow and believable despite the drama.

(Another thing that it does better than SP0P, incidentally, is that much like C*tra, the hostility stems in part from misunderstanding and manipulation - Mara thought Luke’s role in the Emperor’s death was way more active and that she was more important in the Empire than she was, C*tra parsed Adora caring about anyone besides her as proof of not caring about her and ran that through her abandonment issues about six times - but Mara Jade learns that she was wrong about the things she was wrong about and reassesses her life, while C*tra is continuing to act like Adora is to blame for the whole mess right up to the confession.)

Anyway I’ve probably droned on long enough, so I’m just going to wrap up with:

If you came out of SP0P convinced that this mess was what all enemies-to-lovers romances were About, please read Gideon the Ninth and/or the Heir to the Empire trilogy, they’re a much better illustration of the trope. It’s fine if you still don’t like enemies-to-lovers after that, but please at least see how it runs when it’s done well first.

[spiltscribbles]

ADFFASFDSFG DO THE SWITCHED LUGGAGE WITH WOLFSTAR

Notes: LEGITLY I DO NOT KNOW!!!! STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK DAMN IT RJ!!!! Big BIG love goes to @kattlupin and @justtoarguewithyou for the Beta help<3 Please don’t hate me RJ!

.-

~Hour 0   

Remus focuses on the chill that’s beginning to frost the window of the quaint, Edinburgh coffee shop that’s tucked into a dark corner of the large block of the tube station, appreciating the glittering blankets of snow coating the ground and the melodic holiday tunes playing from above. The scent of cinnamon wafts through the air and his phone’s pressed between his ear and shoulder while one hand toys with the tassel hanging off the reindeer trinket lining the counter, and the other’s clasping onto his luggage.

“I can’t wait to show you! My mum’s bought Harry the cutest little Saint Nick babygrow, and Mrs. Potter’s sent me her recipe for the samosas James especially likes. And—”  

Remus laughs through his nose, pressing the phone closer before accepting the hot chocolate handed over to him by the barista who winks his way before going back to start up the next round of drinks.

“Lils, I’ve bought the ticket, and I’m about to board. No need to continue on trying to convince me. I’ll be in London for Christmas.”  

“Oh, Remus, I can’t wait!” Lily crows delightedly, and Remus can just pick up on the sound of a bowl clacking to the ground, inwardly praying that she doesn’t burn down her entire cottage before Remus’s even gotten the chance to see it. “I’ve missed you, it’s positively ridiculous how long we haven’t been able to visit! Criminal, really!”  

Remus drags his bottom lip between his teeth, flushing slightly at the dig considering that the absence from his closest friend from childhood  was almost entirely his doing. “Well you know, with Fabian’s research and all, we were constantly out of the country, over to the States one week, and then Asia the next.”  

This time, it’s effortless catching on the sound of harsh stirring accompanied by Lily’s unimpressed cluck at the sound of Remus’s ex’s name. “Well good riddance. He was never good enough for you Remus, a total self righteous prat.”  

“Is that right?” Remus smiles wryly, taking a sip of his coco before wrapping his scarf around his neck once more to brace for the cold. “I thought he was mighty fancy-able considering the degree and being fit and all.”  

“Dry as Petunia’s skin in the winter,” Lily sniffs airily, and Remus studiously does not mention the mountain of moisturizers that Lily stored away in an unused closet in the old flat they shared during six form when she thought Remus wasn’t looking. “Now I get to have my fun and set you up with a proper bloke, especially since you’ll be moving back to London after the semester officially closes. Ooo! We can start a double date night! There’s this cooking class they’re holding down the street for couples but I didn’t wanna join because James would only get all obnoxiously cocky when he ultimately does remarkably and I end up burning water.”

Remus laughs, remembering the occasion she’s referring to, which had led them to pressing together their measly savings to buy an electric kettle like good and proper adults, rescuing their pots from getting burnt to a crisp thanks to Lily’s forgetfulness. “Least if you come along with whichever bloke, I’ll know I definitely won’t be the worst one there.”  

Remus twists up his mouth, displeased. “Unwarranted slander.”  

“Your french toast chipped my pug’s tooth before he spat it out.”  

“Maybe Snuffles just has a bad gag reflex.”  

“His gag reflex is perfectly adequate,” she sniffs.  

“Well I’ve never spat out my own food.”

“Hmm, I bet you get all the boys in the yard whenever you talk about how skillfully you’ve trained your gagging.”  

“Stuff it, Evans.”  

“Potter now actually, Ta so much.”  

“Gone off and married yourself a posh Londoner and now you’re sounding like you’re meant to be on an episode of Downton Abbey, is that right?”  

“Innit brilliant?”  

“Bloody exhausting is more what I was thinking, love.”  

Lily’s answering laugh is light and tinkling and it’s the happiest Remus’s ever heard her all year, and it’s like a punch to the gut when he all at once realizes just how drastically he’s missed her.

“Don’t pout Re, I’ll still be able to tolerate your lowly,  Welsh vowels.”  

“Sod off.”  

“Mean.”

“You started it.”  

“Oof.”  

“Did you break the eggs the wrong way again?” Remus asks, single brow cocked as he finally retreats into the actual underground and ambles to the queue waiting to scan their tickets.   

“You can’t break eggs the wrong way Remus Lupin!” Remus stays silent. “Don’t give me that look!”  

“What look?” Remus asks owlishly.  

“Don’t think I can’t picture it right now, with the slanted mouth and your left eyebrow raised with pure condescension.”  

“I don’t like this picture of my character that you’re painting, Evans.”  

“I don’t like your insinuations of my egg cracking skills, Lupin.”  

“But I’m right, aren’t I? You did break it?”  

“Well yes, that’s the general idea of cracking an egg.”  

Remus scoffs. “The wrong way I mean.”  

The silence coming from Lily is positively fuming and Remus thinks that if they were in some sorta old-timey Disney cartoon she’d be steaming smoke from her ears right about now. “’S just a singular shell, it’ll melt right in the pan once I pop it into the oven.”  

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, you’re trying to poison us. And right when I became single and ready to pull again.”  

“Oh speaking of pulling,” Lily squawks, and Remus absolutely despises that tone of voice—flashes of young, drunken escapades bubbling to the forefront of his mind, twinging when he thinks of the flower he’s got tattooed onto his arse to match the crescent moon on Lily’s own.

“No. Absolutely not.”  

“Oi, you haven’t even let me explain myself, you berk! I just wanna help.”  

“You’re an evil, evil Femme Fatale, and you shouldn’t even have this much power over me considering how rudding gay I am.” He screams that last part perhaps a bit too loudly, garnering amused glances from most of his fellow patrons, and a couple curious ones. Including a pair of disarmingly lovely gray eyes. And holy christ above does he hate Lily right now.  

“But Remus,” she says in a distinct sulk through the line. “It’s just that James’s brother also recently just got out a relationship with this bird from work, and it wasn’t nearly as long as you and Fabian, but I thought you two would just be so cute together. He totally fits that crush you had on Stubby Boardman all through A levels, and I just thought it’d help you so much with getting over that ginger-haired bastard.“  

“You are the only ginger-haired bastard in my life,” he tells her glumly, wincing when the ticket holder smirks at him as she scans him through, mouthing a ‘Good Luck’ with a smirk. 

Damn Remus’s very existence.  

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