#well WHERE do u think he learnt the word. we need to take a long long at the f1 garages and ableism there
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wafflesrisa · 6 months ago
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As an actually autistic person who learned English as a second language can I just say this about Yuki:
If your reaction to Yuki’s sincere apology, written in his own cadence and “imperfect” English, is to disbelieve his statement that he genuinely did not know what the R-slur meant and then call for cancelling him on all platforms -
I want you to take a long look at yourself and think hard about where your expectation that he is lying about his knowledge of the term actually comes from. Think about it for a second.
You are not actually helping autistic people. You’re just racist.
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lovlidollie · 8 months ago
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Feyd spanking-
yes. oh my god yes. went a little bit overboard with this one, hope u enjoy !
feyd has rules. rules that he expects you to follow. he needs you to listen, to be obedient and good. he likes it when you’re soft, and floaty and treat him like he’s the only thing you need (which let’s be honest, he is). he likes having control over you. likes to tell you what you can wear, who you can talk to, what you can and can’t do around geidi prime. if you obey him, he treats you. spoils you with gifts exported from other planets, takes you to his favourite childhood hideouts, lets you cum as many times as you want. if you’re really good he uses his mouth on you and makes you cum so hard you black out.
feyd doesn’t give second chances. the second you start acting up, say your outfit is more low cut than usual, or you’re being bratty and saying no to him, he will waste no time. discipline is very important to feyd. he would drag you by the wrist, ignoring your shocked outburst at his sudden aggression, to his private chambers. you think you’re so smart by telling him that he’s overreacting, and that you’re not doing anything wrong. feyd would snarl in response, veins in his forehead ticking. he would be fuming, you’d be able to hear his teeth gritting together as he throws you over his lap. this entire time he hasn’t said an entire word and you’re starting to get worried. you realise that maybe trying to rile him up was a bad idea. “feyd,” you’d say uncertainly, wriggling in his strong hold. “let me go.”
the sharp sound of fabric tearing is his response. he’s ripped a gaping hole in your clothes, giving him full access to your ass and upper thighs.
“here i thought you were good. here i thought i had taught you manners.” his voice is gravelly, fury barely contained as he strokes your skin.
“feyd-feyd m’sorry okay? i won’t do it again, i promise!” he’d reduced you down to a whimpering, pathetic, mess and he hadn’t even started yet. “please let me go.”
feyd laughs at you. it’s menacing and scary and you tremble where you lay. “it’s too late for you. if you were my pretty pet we wouldn’t be here right now. if you were the good pet i know, you’d be cumming on my cock tonight. but you aren’t good are you? no, good pets fucking listen to their owners. you deserve this.”
the first spank against your ass hurts. he wasn’t starting off soft or giving you a chance to get used to it. feyd puts all his power into it, years of warrior training being obvious with how the pain radiates through you. you cry out, tears immediately running down your face. “f-feyd!”
“count.”
you whimper out a quiet ‘one,’ and he hums, “maybe there’s hope for you yet.”
he spanks you again, this time it hits the thin skin just under your left cheek, and you jerk up his lap from the impact. feyd doesn’t offer comfort through his punishment; doesn’t soothe the reddened skin with his large hands. he doesn’t even wait long enough for you to catch up before he’s doing it again.
feyd makes you count all of them. he keeps going until he’s satisfied he’s erased the badness from you. if you lose count or take to long to answer, he starts again from the top. he keeps going until you’re just a sniffling, drooly wreck with a bruised and battered ass.
when he’s done he would pick you up and seat you over his hardened cock, not caring if it hurts you. your head would find itself burrowing into his chest, wet faced and snotty nosed. “m’sorry, m’really really sorry. m’gonna be good for you, m’gonna be a good pet for you, won’t make you mad ‘nymore. won’t be a brat, i’ll listen and be good.”
feyd’s palm would come up and rub your head, and you’d start crying again from how good it felt to finally have comforting touch from him. he’d bring his other arm across your waist, hugging you tight into him, continuing to stroke your hair.
“c’mere sweet thing. you took your punishment well, pretty. did good for me didn’t you? yes, that’s right, did so good for me baby. you’ve learnt your lesson haven’t you? perfect pet, i’ll take care of you now.”
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aru-loves-krishnaxarjuna · 6 months ago
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behnchod, madarchod, baanki maagi,, bokachoda, you fucking hoe, rot in fucking hell, you brother fucker, motherfucker, gaandu, randi, saala, harami, bohot tez samajh ta hai apne aap ko? Bhosdika, bara, saale gaand choos tu apna, kindly f yourself
Tere krishna ne terko gaali dena sikhaya hai!?!! Where are hindu women's SANSKAAR??? Tum aurte khud ko mhan samjhte ho i guess u r bhramin that's why u have superiority complex. WhatsApp university se padhna chod or real world me aa jaa
Let's start with the biggest issue I have with scriptures in Hinduism and the casual misogynistic tone in the marriage department.
Ramacharitmanas 3.4.4 - "A woman who treats her husband with disrespect even though he is old, sick, dull-headed, *wrathful* or *most wretched*, she shall suffer various torments in hell (The abode of Yama)"
Vishnusmriti 24.41 -A damsel whose menses begin to appear (while she is living) at her father's house, before she has been betrothed to a man, has to be considered as a degraded woman: by taking her (without the consent of her kinsmen) a man commits no wrong.
Valmiki Ramayana 2/24/20 - - Ram said \*"As long as a woman is alive, her husband is her god and master to her"\*
Valmiki Ramayana 2/24/25 - "Even if a woman is interested in religious vows and fastings, in addition to being the best of the excellent; if she doesn't obey her husband, she will become ill-fated!!"
Matsya Purana 154.166 - "The husband even if poor, illiterate, and devood of fortune, is like a god to his wife."Mahabharata
Anushasana Parva 146.55 - Husband alone is the God for women
Srimad Bhagwatam 6/18/33-36 - "A husband is the supreme deity for the woman. The Supreme, Lord Vasudeva is situated in everyone's heart and is worshipped through the various names and forms of the demigods by fritive workers. Similarly, a husband represents the Lord as the object of worship for a woman. A wife should be chaste and obey all orders of her husband. She should very devoutly worship her husband as a representative of Vasudeva."
Sage Ashtavakra said:Women can never be their own mistresses. This is the opinion of the Creator himself, viz., that a woman never deserves to be independent. There is not a single woman in the three worlds that deserves to be regarded as the mistress of her own self. The father protects her while she is a maiden. The husband protects her while she is in youth. Sons protect her when she is aged. Women can never be independent as long as they live.
Oh ho! Now you are asking our SANSKAAR!? Ram sikhate hai ki maryada mein rehte kaise hai.
Krishna sikhate hai ki maryada mein rakhte kaise hai.
Listen you motherfucker. I don't need to be educated on this. You dare question our SANSKAAR? WE became like THIS to PROTECT OURSELVES. WE learnt SWEAR WORDS BECAUSE MEN STARTED TO USE THEM FIRST!!!
And women can never be independent, eh? Look around the fucking world will you, ot do you use braille to type?
First you make us like this and now question US? Atleast hum aurate apne aapko mahan sigma male to nhi smjh ti, na? Aurato ko tum log hamesha 'women ☕️' karte rehte ho, unko disrespect karte ho, rapists ko support karte ho, unke saath jo unyay hota hai usko supprt karte ho, and when we stand up for ourselves, us hindu women's SANSKAAR dissappeared!? THIS is the reason why women hate men now.
Tu Insta reels se sab kuchh learn karrna band karr aur apni aakhe charo taraf ghuma, bsdk.
We can be our own mistresses, and we will be our own mistresses. Idc what anyone thinks, i stand with my opinion. Agar teri Maa nahi hoti, to tu bhi janm nhi le pata gadhere.
You know Maa Kaali as well as Maa Adi Para Shakti, right? Did they need a man to fight? Or to protect them? They protected themselves, and fought demons, monsters just to protect their children. Yea ok i agree with the 'devoted to husband' part, but if her dignity comes in question, she WILL fight back!
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fleurriee · 1 year ago
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its true, i don’t see any red flags in his vicinity, so im diving head first into this already knowing it’s gonna make me feel all 🥴
…a man you loved, that you wished you didn't sometimes, most times, especially tonight, as he forgot about your plans... again, in order to train for way longer than was needed or necessary, way longer than anybody else... again.
sigh. teyam, bby, what u doing?? too much overtime is bad for the soul, chill (fr tho, like i don’t think he understood that in the film either, always striving to be the best for his family 😭 making myself upset now).
…and all those things made him just so. damn. hot.
so true. idk how he does it - all he has to do is stand there & im like??? god.
…because, if you ever tried, you ended up overpowered, outsmarted and fucked dumb face down on your mat until you forgot you were ever mad to begin with.
oh… just the way i like it, then…
"No, tiyawn. I can't let you speak if you insist on saying those insipid, meaningless words again. You won't leave, because you can't leave. Because you're mine. And I'm yours. You own me."
im suddenly blind,, bc i simply cannot see any red flags?? 😎 never mind, i’ll just have to take his word for it!
"...Let me show you how sorry I am."
okay 🤭
…because the stuff he knows how to do is enough to excuse world calamities and mass destruction in your mind.
this. as long as he can eat me out, who’s to say im not fine & happy?? mind ur business!!
"Fine, but I swear to Eywa that if you -"
"A-ah, fuck!"
oh he just knows what he’s doing. every goddamn time. i can see why she keeps going back to him bc… me too.
Propped with your hands on his shoulders, his fingers around your throat, you were bouncing up and down his cock… how fear was fuel for your desire as his tip kept slamming into your cervix so hard you felt it in your ribcage when he rutted upwards into you.
"Quiet, tiyawn. You don't want people to hear us, now do you?"
"Or maybe you like that? 'That turn you on, huh? My dirty girl."
oh. my. days. i need him. he’s a necessity in my life. i simply can’t go any further without him.
"We are never getting back together. Like ever."
i see what u did there andra 😏
“Neteyam!” Tuk’s screams…
i can hear it 🤧 she’ll never be so happy again ugh
…where a small pup lay. It was cautious as you approached, but eventually relaxed around you and let you kneel beside it. It was a Palulukan pup…
"I found him coming back from practice. He was hurt and limping, and clinging to his mother's corpse. I know you’ve been lonely since your parents died. Well, he seemed lonely too. His parents are gone, and so I thought… you could be his new home…”
wait this is so cute what?? 🤧 there fr are no red flags with this man, idc
shock horror, i fucking loved it. no matter what the circumstance, no matter the genre, i love every piece you write & publish & that’s simply all down to u and ur writing, my love <33 i also learnt that toxic nete is kinda hot today & im not mad about it, so thank you for that!!
ੈ♡˳ ɪ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛɪᴍᴇ
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Pairing: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader
Synopsis: You and Neteyam's relationship only knows the 3Fs: fighting, fleeing or... loving.
Requested: Yes.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI. aged up!, smut (p in v, oral - f receiving, light choking, praise kink), fluff, kinda toxic relationship but it's fine cause it's neteyam and i don't see red when it comes to him, it's all golden
WC: 2.3k words
A/N: how the hell did this also turn fluffy in the end??? what is wrong w me??? anyway, i had so so much fun with this request, it might quickly become one of my favourite things i've ever written. thank you so much for the sweet anonnie who suggested it, and i hope you enjoy x
I get tired of your no-shows You get tired of my control They keep telling me to let go But I don't really let go when I say so 
"Everybody's going out. Just come out with us. Don't let him ruin another perfectly nice eclipse."
Your best friend was so right, as she always was, as she gave you this speech for what felt like the millionth time in the years you've had an on-again, off-again situationship with the prince of the Omaticaya, the one and only Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan - a man you loved, that you wished you didn't sometimes, most times, especially tonight, as he forgot about your plans... again, in order to train for way longer than was needed or necessary, way longer than anybody else... again.
Look, you loved Neteyam's drive. It was part of what drove you to him to begin with. He was unrelenting and determined, he was powerful and skilled, he was savvy and intelligent, he was beautiful and charming, he loved his family to death and was incredibly loyal and all those things made him just so. damn. hot.
They also made him the reason you wanted to pull your braids out, because those traits were good in moderation, but nothing was ever grey with Neteyam. No, Neteyam was all or nothing always, black or white and nothing else, and that meant that loyalty for his family quickly turned into neglect for you, determination for his practice quickly turned to forgetfulness of you, and his power, beauty, intelligence and charm meant you never got to do anything about it, because, if you ever tried, you ended up overpowered, outsmarted and fucked dumb face down on your mat until you forgot you were ever mad to begin with.
I've tried to fight our energy, but everytime I think I'm free  You get high and call on the regular I get weak and fall like a teenager Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry? I need to do this, tiyawn, I have to be stronger for my family, for my clan... for you. You're being unreasonable."
"I'm being unreasonable?! Are you out of your fucking mind?"
You feel tears pool in your eyes and spill like a broken fountain as you take him in, bloodied gashes and muddy patches, tired eyes and calloused hands and still... the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life. He looked at you exasperatedly, like you're the crazy one, and you hate it. Hate what he's doing to you, hate that he doesn't consider you or think about you, and that his sorries are always stained with unspoken truths, like how he doesn't truly mean it, not when to him, it's all justified, it's all warranted, and shouldn't be questioned.
"Every day and night, I do nothing but wait, Neteyam. Wait for a man who doesn't think twice about the plans he's made, the promises he never keeps, the memories that sour with every absence he gifts to me like a necklace that half-chokes me to death. I'm tired. I can't do this anym-"
A kiss is all it takes to silence you, to stun you, to make you melt in his embrace the way you always do, all the arguments and the ultimatums swallowed under the intensity of the touch of his lips on yours, his tongue meeting your own in a welcome embrace, so intimate and knowing, so fucking frustrating.
"Net-..."
His thumb traces your lips, the mix of your salivas making the glide easy, as his beautiful golden eyes bore into yours with enough force to cower you, to make you hunger and ache for more. That's all you ever wanted when it comes to Neteyam - more. When his finger pushes gently past your lips and into your mouth, you immediately close them around him and lick... and suck, and he moans, his gaze growing darker and needier with each second you're not writhing under him, the way you should be, the way you were meant to be.
"No, tiyawn. I can't let you speak if you insist on saying those insipid, meaningless words again. You won't leave, because you can't leave. Because you're mine. And I'm yours. You own me."
His hand grabs yours and redirects it to his loincloth, tented up under the weight of his hard-on and the slight damp spot under your touch makes you swallow instinctively. You had no thoughts outside of him anymore, outside of the overwhelming desire that took over you whenever he was in your presence, his being inundating your senses and hijacking your mind to be rid of all but him, full of him, only him.
"Look what you do to me. You. Only you. I need you. Always. I know I'm not good enough, I know, but ..."
His hands find their way to your ass, lifting you gently, and you wrap your thighs around him, although there's no need, not when he moves you just a few feet until he's sitting on your mat, laying you gently on it. When he moves his hands, he takes your loincloth with him, and you whine softly at the sudden cool breeze that hits your aching, sopping core.
"...Let me show you how sorry I am."
When he lays down with his head between your thighs, you know he's forgiven already, because whatever he's about to do is always more than enough to make up for all the shit he didn't do, because the stuff he knows how to do is enough to excuse world calamities and mass destruction in your mind.
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Just when I get on a new wave Boy, you look at me and I slip outta my lace They keep calling me a head-case 'Cause I can't make a good case why we can't change
"You're out of your mind, tiyawn."
"Well, if I'm out of my mind, then you made me out of my mind, you skxawng."
"Can we talk about this somewhere more private?"
You have to admit, starting the fight at the communal dinner in front of his parents, the leaders of the clan, and your friends, and everyone you knew, was probably a bit gauche and uncouth, but you think it was just more than anything a perfect testimony of how this man drove you to the brink of insanity in a way no one else could.
"Fine, but I swear to Eywa that if you -"
"A-ah, fuck!"
Propped with your hands on his shoulders, his fingers around your throat, you were bouncing up and down his cock, trying to ignore how you could be caught at any point, how close you were to the communal fire, barely covered by some shrubbery, how fear was fuel for your desire as his tip kept slamming into your cervix so hard you felt it in your ribcage when he rutted upwards into you.
"Quiet, tiyawn. You don't want people to hear us, now do you?"
A glint of mischief flashed across his eyes, smirk to match, as he brought the hand he had gripped on your hips to help him move you on his length forward, circling your clit masterfully and you whimper again, eliciting a small laugh from him.
"Or maybe you like that? 'That turn you on, huh? My dirty girl."
The sound of skin slapping against skin was so strident you'd be surprised if someone wouldn't come just to see if they can catch the end tail of a rousing performance people couldn't help but clap for, but to be honest with yourself, you didn't care. It was known in the village - your mad, intense, mercurial, quixotic relationship with Neteyam. You were both crazy - for each other, and in general, it seemed, because you fought, fled and fucked more often than truly anyone could keep with with.
"God, I love watching you take my cock. You're such a good girl, and you always take me so well, tiyawn. So well."
You said nothing as the rush of all the sensations trying you quickly became overwhelming, as the heady combination of being chocked by a man who knew how to use it to your advantage helped heighten his ministrations on your clit, his wild and intemperate thrusts that stretched you and filled like you craved, like only he could, and you come, whining and sobbing, nails digging painfully in his skin. He follows suit, his own groans unable to be kept hidden, and he releases his hand from around your neck and brings it back to the nape of your neck, willing you softly in his chest, where, although full of cobwebs and a little dusty, would always be your home.
"Shh, that's right. Did so well for me, tiyawn. My perfect girl." A kiss on your temple, soft and intimate, and the constant shower of unbridled praise, that you lived to see come out of his beautiful mouth as he filled you up with his cock, reminded you why you stayed and came back, over and over. Because it was worth it. And he was worth it.
"I'm still fucking mad at you."
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I get drunk, pretend that I'm over it Self-destruct, show up like an idiot Why, oh why does God keep bringing me Back to you?
"We are never getting back together. Like ever." you say in between sips of fermented yovo juice, that always goes to your head way too quickly, that always makes a mess out of your tongue and a slur of your words.
"I want to believe you, friend...I really do, but... you've said that one too many times. You're the girl that cried Palulukan. Nobody's coming to rescue you now, sister."
"N-no..." the hiccup was violent enough to make you throw up in your mouth and you groaned, the headache caused by the startled yelp digging in your temples. “I me-mean it this t-time. It’s o-over.” You were stomping your feet in determination, eager to prove that you would once and for all be rid of the man that was nowhere to be found for the village celebration that he’s known about for months.
“Lo-Lo’ak! Hey Lo’ak!” The sighting of Neteyam’s nicer, more amiable, sociable younger brother was a one for sore eyes, as it proved that it wasn’t family duty keeping your boyfriend… ex-boyfriend… away, it was his own maddening stubbornness and selfishness doing it instead.
“Neteyam’s training… I’m sorry. We told him to come, but he… gets in like a weird trance whenever he’s on the grounds, I swear it’s like something out of an Earth zombie movie.”
You didn’t know what he was talking about and he didn’t elaborate before he took off, leaving you leaning against a tree with only your tiny friend as a barrier between your face and the cold, hard, ground.
“Argh, who cares?! It’s be-better he’s gone, he’s a k-killjoy anyway and i for one a-am happy to be rid of-“
“Neteyam!” Tuk’s screams close to deafen you and the sound was the last push your body needed to lunge itself forward and hurl the contents of your stomach onto the mossy ground that was now more yellow than it had ever been green.
“Oh, mighty and all-powerful Eywa.”
“Hi, Syulen. I got it, thanks.”
“Take her home, Neteyam. And don’t get any funny ideas.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Come, tiyawn.”
You wanted to protest, but the bile in your mouth was bitter and burning, and so you didn’t, not as he picked you up as gently as if you were a precious flower he didn’t want to wilt, not when he pressed a kiss on your temple as his arm found the back of your knees for added support, not as he carried you home silently, outside of the soft-spoken coos of affection and apologies, while you mumbled unattractively in his chest.
“I hate y-you.”
"I know."
"You're the wo-worst."
"I know."
As you reached your tent, you were greeted by soft trills and purrs that sobered you immediately, that made you jump from his arms and onto the ground, where a small pup lay. It was cautious as you approached, but eventually relaxed around you and let you kneel beside it. It has an ugly gash across its back, that looked like it had been tended to. It was a Palulukan pup, and the thought made fevered chills run down your spine.
"Neteyam, wha-"
"I found him coming back from practice. He was hurt and limping, and clinging to his mother's corpse. I took him home and have been helping my grandmother tend to him ever since. That's why I'm late."
“I know you’ve been lonely since your parents died. Well, he seemed lonely too. His parents are gone, and so I thought… you could be his new home. And I could be yours. I’m done running away, tiyawn. From now on, I only want to run towards things. Towards you. I’m yours. You own me. For good, this time. If you still want me.”
You smile a sheepish smile, looking up at him through your lashes while you pet the new priceless addition to your small family. You really were the girl that cried Palulukan.
“If I say no, will you take him away?”
He winced a little, a grimace marring his beautiful features.
“Of course not.”
“If I say yes, can we all be a family?”
The grimace dissolved as quickly as it appeared and a dazzling, gummy smile replaced it, one that dizzied you in its utter and undeniable beauty, one that you couldn’t help replicate, not when kneeled in front of you and took your face in his hands, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs, his own face mere inches from yours.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
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taglist: @fanboyluvr @yagirlheree @teyamsbitch
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httpdabi · 4 years ago
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His property
Word count: 6.0k
Genre: SMUT, maybe angst, romantic ? Lots of Dabi lol not sure if it’s yandere... yeah
Warnings: 18+, kidnapping I guess, fire play. Not sure how old Melissa actually is, so if she’s underage in anime, here she’s at least 21 y/I and allowed to drink
Qurikless OC being "saved" from not so hero person. :)
Being quirkless didn’t bother me that much. Sure, i was jealous when my friends started developing their own quirks, showing of. When they used to make a little show, competition which quirk is better, all I could do is sit in the side and adore them.
My parent were telling me almost every day to try to stay out of trouble. If there is a hero fighting a villain, I should just walk away. Because even their power can harm me. I learnt that I can just be at the wrong place In the wrong time and I could be in trouble. They always taught me to be extra careful.
When I was a kid, I used to depend on my parents too much. Today it was kinda different, I was giving my best to be independent as much as I can. Working at a small coffee shop, living in my small apartment. Trying to live as quiet as possible.
,,One caramel macchiato and one chocolate cappuchino” my co-worker said loudly for me to hear. Even tho it could be stressing, I loved my job. I loved making different drinks and talk with people.
I made a little ok sign and started making the ordered drinks.
The shift was passing real fast since there was a lot of work, there wasn’t even time for break. Of course, I could catch a minute and smoke one real fast. Being honest, I was fine with that.
After long ass night I changed into my dress and finally went home. Home wasn’t far from my working place, so if the weather is nice, I would take a walk instead of going home with bus.
,, Great” I hissed after trying to lit my cigarette. Perfect timing for my lighter to die. Little piece of shit gave up on me after such a hard time at work.
I sat down on the end of the bench, trying to find another one while the cigarette was still between my lips. There was nothing worse then forgetting your lighter or when it stops working.
,, Need a little help?” a man asked. I knew that few of them were sitting on the bench, but I didn’t pay attention that much. Before I could turn my head around to face him and take his lighter, his hand was in front of me, and he was lightning my cigarette up with his finger. Small blue fire coming from his finger, looking hella familiar. The purple skin with silver patches didn’t make a klick in my head either.
,,Thanks” I said fast, curious who it is, since my brain was telling me that I know this person. But once I looked at him, his head was already turned to another direction. Not wanting to bothering him or his friends, I just left believing it was someone I saw on my work. After all, we have a lot of costumers.
Time after work was my favorite, especially if I didn’t have to wake up early next day. A glass of wine, face mask, and phone in my hand. I couldn’t force myself to spend rest of the night locked up watching TV, so I enjoyed the beautiful weather on my balcony. I could see the little group of friends from my balcony. So I was lowkey stalking them a little, sad I couldn’t hear shit they were talking about. My little stalking was interrupted by a small vibration coming from my phone.
Of course it was Melissa. My one and only friend, quirkless bitch just like me. Usually I am not a person to use apps for meeting new people, but when I saw that there is an app for us quirkless sad motherfuckers, I had to instal it. And that’s how I met my soulmate Melissa.
Melissa: ,, What are you doing? I am on my way to your place´´
To Melissa: Chilling on the balcony and sipping on my wine. I´ll be on my way to buy us another bottle and strawberries.
I couldn’t even place my phone on the table and another message was already there.
Melissa: AMAZING!!! Can´t wait to get wasted with you. See ya in a bit loveeee u
Since The shop is near café and my home, there was no need for me to change. I was already in my pajama shorts and shirt, so all I did was wear my baggy hoodie over it. Taking my wallet, I sprinted fast to the shop.
The very next day, I had to work with a worst hangover ever. Melissa left my place around 10AM, groaning in frustration she had to wake up so early. But at least she didn’t have to work.
My shift began at 13PM, so I had some time to rest and let the painkillers work their wonder on me. Sadly the time before my shift started passed faster then I could imagine, and once again I found myself at my work.
From 13 to 16PM there isn´t much work. There are some people passing by after the end of their shifts, our usual costumers coming at the same time. But the exactly at 17PM is where the hell starts.
That was the very reason I liked morning shifts more, even tho I had to wake up so early. It was still less work then in late shift.
More and more orders were coming. Usually I would somehow manage to keep my shit together somehow, but this time I was real mad my boss didn’t get more workers. It could be much easier if there was 3 of us in the shift, instead of two of us.
Like we didn’t have enough stress already, there was a huge explosion near the café. Not paying much attention to it I continued making the drinks.
,, Get down!´´ my co-worker screamed and pulled me under the desk with her. I tried to peek and see what´s happening but in the very moment I did it there was another explosion, blowing me almost away.
In that moment I didn’t know if the explosion was beside our café again, or in it. But I could hear people screaming.
My co-worker started crying, telling me how my face is all bloody. Which was pretty weird, since I felt good. She was pulling me to the back side of the café telling me to use the back door and wait for her.
I did as she told me, seeing the mix of the red and blue flames freaked me out. It was the first time in my life to end up in situation like this, so a wave of panic took over me. Sobbing loudly, I sat down, hugging my knees. I was waiting for my co-worker, too scared to try and get help on my own, since I could still hear screams and people fighting.
Another explosion, probably in the café, since once again I was blown away. I could hear Ryuku and Kamui Woods asking if someone is here. But I couldn’t say a word, as much as I wanted to. I wanted to scream, but even a whisper was heavy at that moment.
Their voices were like echo, and the buildings around me started to get blurry.
I could feel my forehead being touched. My hair being placed behind my ear and someone telling me to wake up. Once I opened my eyes, I saw arm resting beside my head on the street. The same purple skin I saw last night.
I forced myself to look up, and the moment I saw that face, I felt embarrassed I didn’t recognize it before. Of course it was Leauge´s villain Dabi. Maybe the fact that I was trying to ignore the news around as much as possible, thinking if I stay in my safe zone I´ll protect myself. But of course I knew the League of Villains. Of course I knew Himiko Toga, Kurogiri, Shigaraki, Dabi and the rest of them. As much as I wanted to ignore everything happening in the city, I simply knew about them. Everyone does.
,, No´´ I whispered, not being able to feel pain or fear. My eyes looking beside him hoping hero or my co-worker will come and save me.
Dabi lowered himself trying to get my focus on him.
,, They are all gone. ´´ He said looking me directly in the eyes. Whit those words all the hope I had died. I closed my eyes while tears started to roll down my cheeks. This was it, I thought. Either way I´ll die from bleeding out or he´ll kill me.
,, Don´t worry babe, I won´t hurt you´´ He whispered, still playing with my hair. I had no power to say anything, all I could do is wait to fall into unconsciousness again.
His hands tried to pull me up, but somehow in that very moment everything started to feel heavy and I felt like I was about to vomit.
,,Fine, if you want to die, then die´´ He said, and once again everything else was black.
I woke up with sudden urge to vomit again. Being in dark unfamiliar room didn´t help either. The only thing that helped was the fact that I was alive. Before I could stand up and find bathroom, I vomited all over the floor. Maybe it´s weird, but I started crying, not only because I had no idea where I was, but also because I vomited. It´s a nightmare for me.
The door suddenly opened and at my surprise Dabi got inside. Which followed with me vomiting once more and crying again. Didn´t he let me die ?
,,Goddammit, I even prepared a bucket for you, can´t you use it ?´´ He said calmly. Grabbing my arm harshly, he pulled me up and forced me to walk out of the room.
,, I´m sorry´´ I sobbed, not wanting to make any problems. I didn´t want to do anything to provoke the villain.
,, Wait here´´ he said, forcing me to sit in the kitchen. Then he went back in the room I slept in.
The kitchen wasn’t big, but it wasn´t small either. There was a counter with drinks, and two tall uncomfortable chairs. On the other side were cabinets, sink, dishwasher, stove and freezer. Everything was in light and dark shade of gray.
,, Well, you can vomit like world champion´´ Dabi´s voice echoed thru the room. I could hear the toilet flush and his steps coming closer. It took him a second and there he was, standing in front of me. He went to the other side of the counter, took one glass and filled it with cold water.
,, So babe, what happened back there?´´ he asked, placing the glass in front of me. I was scared and confused, and I didn’t have any courage to look the man in the eyes or say anything.
,, I don´t know´´ I said quietly. He sighed and took a small box of cigarettes out of his pocket. Lighting his cigarette up with his quirk, just like he did yesterday.
,, You are lucky I noticed you trying to hide back there, since your little friend left without thinking twice´´ he said, as he puffed on his cigarette.
I wasn´t sure if I should feel sad, betrayed or mad. From all of the people back there, a villain saved my life. But I did feel thankful to him.
,,Thank you´´ I said, looking at him. His cigarette between his lips, eyes half closed.
,, What should I do with you´´ he said, finishing the cigarette and taking another one from the box. He placed the box in front of me.
When he realized that I won´t take one, he stood up and made his way toward me. Standing behind me, he placed his hands on my shoulders, slowly massaging them. His one hand pulled my hair back lightly, and other one placed his already lit cigarette in front of my lips.
,, Come on love, I know you smoke´´ he said, placing the cigarette between my lips with a little force. In a moment, his face was inches away from mine. I could feel his breath on my neck, making me freeze in the place.
,, Maybe I should keep you for myself here´´ he whispered, breathing deeply on my ear. ,,After all, I can protect your quirkless little body´´ he addes slowly.
There were many things going thru my mind at that moment. What did he mean ? How did he know I don´t have a quirk?
Days and weeks passed and there I was still at Dabi´s place. First few days I was left alone, either way he was really busy or just wanted to give me some time. Dabi let me sleep in his room, since I couldn´t force myself to sleep in the one I vomited. Maybe it was my imagination, but I could still smell the vomit.
His room was decorated in dark shades. One black king sized bed in the middle, dark green walls and black furniture. On the right side were huge windows and balcony. Since I was alone, I gave myself a little bit of freedom. After all, he didn´t seem that dangerous as everyone said.
At the beginning he didn´t let me cook or do anything that could be dangerous in his opinion. He didn´t trust me at all, being sceptic that I might poison him. He did try to keep me entertained, giving me Nintendo Switch with some games like Pokemon, Super Mario, etc. He also didn´t have any problem with Netflix or whatever I wanted. I know those are small things, but being with him, I expected less.
After some weeks passed, I was seeing him more often. He would casually get inside his room, since there was the balcony. Without knocking or any sign. Well, it was his room after all. Sometimes he would just bring us some fast food, ice cream and force me to eat with him. At least he thought so. I didn´t have any problem with it.
After 3 weeks passed, I started to realize that I was pretty much attracted to this man. I wasn´t someone who falls easily for a man, but his attitude, his cold personality, the way he moves, the way he talks, the way I could catch him look at me, it was all extremely attractive to me. It probably all started the day I caught him sitting beside me, thinking I was asleep. It was around 3AM when I heard him coming inside his room. He sat beside me, and started caressing my cheek softly.
In that moment all I could do was just pretend that I was still asleep.
After that night, he would come at night and just sit there with me, thinking I was asleep.
I opened the window and sat on the balcony, admiring the sight of the buildings and colorful lights coming form the streets, and cars.
,, I don´t remember allowing you to go outside.´´
He was standing to my left side, looking at the street.
,, Planning how to run away?´´ He added, not paying attention to me. He was wearing black pants, with dark grey oversized sweater. His presence was too much for me, it wasn’t that I was scared of him, but I was too shy, I couldn´t look him in the eye without thinking about him sitting next to my ´´sleeping´´ form and looking at me, playing with my hair.
,, You know what will happen if you even try´´ he said getting closer to me. I could feel his hands on my hips, holding them firmly. I could smell his strong cologne mixed with smoke. He told me if I even think about running away, he would burn me down even my ashes will disappear. Somehow he knew who my parents are, who my friends are and he said he would kill every single one of them.
At first I didn’t believe him, somehow I thought he isn´t capable of something like that. But I changed my mind once I saw him on the news, where it was talk about his victims.
His thumb was going in circles, making a small pressure on my hip. I didn´t think of running away. First of all I wasn´t brave enough, second of all, I was so unimportant to this world that I didn´t hear shit about me on the news.
,, Can I have my phone ?´´ I asked him, not thinking about his reaction or anything. I just wanted to contact my parents and Melissa.
,,Wha..?´´ he laughed out. His hold getting stronger, keeping me in my place.
,, Babe, do you think I´m that stupid ?´´ he laughed, turning me around to face him. If I wasn´t in a situation like this, I would probably feel the urge to touch his scars, being so close to me.
,, I just want to contact my family and my friend. I won´t do anything that might harm you´´ I said, not breaking the eye contact.
,, Harm me ? ´´ he laughed, his face inches from mine. This man was indeed driving me crazy.
,, Please, you can control me if you want. I won´t delete any message, I´ll do whatever´´ I managed to say somehow. His lips being so close, it was a wonder I could speak at all.
The moment his lips brushed against mine, I felt all possible feeling I could in my stomach. ,, You´ll do whatever?´´ he said, his head still tilled to the side, and lips brushing over mine. I could feel a small smirk forming on his lips.
,,I´ll think about it´´
After that day, he didn´t hold himself at all. Doesn´t matter what I was doing, if he felt like being close to me, he would just do it. If I was cleaning, making myself a snack, playing some games, he would just casually slip his hands around my waist.
Laying down on the couch, legs up on the wall, while playing Super Mario. There was one level I couldn´t pass as hard as I tried to. It was just too troublesome. Dabi was sitting in the kitchen, smoking and watching the gameplay. I could hear him mumbling something to himself, before he made his way and sat beside me, taking the controllers out of my hand.
I was surprised when he started passing the level without any trouble, defeating Iggy Koopa so easily.
,, YAAASSS´´ I screamed grabbing the sleeve of his hoodie and shaking it happily. I was dealing with that level probably two days in a row.
In the moment when I was about to ask him how did he do it so easily, he threw the controllers to the side, grabbing my right leg with his left hand, and my hip with his right hand. Pulling my body to his direction. I couldn´t even understand what was exactly happening in that moment, since it happened so fast. He placed my legs around him, and hovered over me.
,, Don´t I need a little present for this win?´´ he said looking at me, placing small kisses over my face. This time, I couldn´t suppress the need to touch his scars. The curiosity took over me, and suddenly I found myself, placing my index finger beside his lip. Moving my finger lightly to the left side of his face. The moment I did that he froze in the place, not kissing me, or doing anything. His body twitched once my finger was under his eye, touching the scars and the small patches.
He grabbed my jaw, and kissed me forcefully, forcing his tongue inside, not giving me a chance to breath. His other hand was under focused on pulling my shirt up, just enough for my bra to be visible.
,, You are driving me crazy´´ he said, his lips now on my neck, one hand still on my jaw and other grabbing my left breast making me moan suddenly. I could feel him smirk while leaving wet love marks over my neck.
Having Dabi around was something I hoped for now. I was hoping for those unexpected touches and waiting for him to come at night like he always did.
What surprised me was the fact that he actually gave me my phone. Telling me that he will control my messages and that if he notices I´m deleting them, things won´t be smooth as they are now.
Somehow, I didn´t even feel the urge to write something bad, to ask for help or anything ? I found myself wanting to be in his presence, I wanted him to be close to me.
He already contacted my parents and Melissa before, telling them that I´m alright. He ignored the rest of the messages they sent me. They wanted to see me, they were worried. Melissa thought she did something wrong, since I was ignoring her.
The moment I contacted her, my phone started buzzing with all the messages she started sending me. Where am I? Why did I ignore her ? What happened ? Am I ok ? What happened to my work?
To my parents I simply wrote that I’m fine and safe.
At my surprise, they told me they know where I am, and that we can work it out. They told me that he waited for them home one night. Telling them he felt they need to know where you are, and telling them if they try contacting a hero or police what will happen to me.
I told them that there is no need for me to go anywhere and that I feel safer then I ever was.
After I found out that my parents know, I felt the need to tell everything to Melissa too. She was my best friend after all and I knew she would understand me.
I explained everything what happened that night. Explained how he saved me, how he’s taking care of me and trying to give me everything I need. At first she was really surprised once I mentioned his name. I mean, who wouldn’t be surprised ? But if I’m happy, then she’s happy too. She never judged me even once.
Dabi wasn’t home, so out of boredom I decided to make some food. Maybe he’ll eat it too once he comes home. I decided to make Spaghetti with Quattro formaggi sauce. I noticed that he really likes cheese, so maybe he will give it a try.
After having dinner on my own, I decided to watch some movie on Netfix before I go to bed and once again wait for him. The movie wasn’t anything special, but I still forced myself to finish it. My mind was away all the time, not being focused on the movie at all. All I could think of was Dabi. If someone told me that I would be so desperate for LOV’s villain Dabi, I wouldn’t believe them. But there I was, waiting for him like a lost puppy.
Placing my phone on the Kitchen counter, I made my way to his bedroom. For some reason he was still sleeping in the other room. Making me wonder how does it feel to sleep next to him, and why he let me sleep in his room for such a long time.
I slowly lain down on the right side of the bed, focusing on the lights coming from the outside. Covering my lower part with the blanket. The soft lace pajama that was hugging my body, gave me some comfort in some weird way. I lain on my stomach and placed my left arm under my pillow. Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath trying to keep myself awake.
It was around 2AM when I heard the door slowly open. I could hear his steps, I could hear how he’s in the kitchen, taking my phone, and shortly after placing it back again. I could hear the shower and his soft humming.
Not shortly after that, I could hear him coming. Slowly opening the door and making his way toward me. Sitting to my left side, he took a deep breath, placed his long lags next to mine, and slowly caressing my head. His fingers slowly found their way to my neck, moving left and right.
,,I know you’re awake’’ he said, as his finger slowly brushed the lace on my right shoulder down. In one moment, he was pacing a kiss on my shoulder, and in the next one he was hovering over me. I could feel him on my back. His face inches from mine. When our eyes met, I wasn’t sure if I felt embarrassed or glad.
He took a deep breath once more, and started placing kisses down my back, while his fingers were on my hips. With every kiss, I was going more and more insane.
Dabi got off me, and pulled me to lie to the side, once again facing my back.
,, Such a good girl for me’’ he said pushing my pajama slowly up, and touching my right breast slowly, while biting my neck. All I could do was move my head in the right direction, giving him more access to my neck.
,, Move your legs a bit for me babe’’ he said, placing his hand under my shorts. He didn’t give me a chance to do it on my own tho, forcefully moving my tights and slipping his hand under my panties. My head fall back onto his chest, moan slipping out of my mouth once I felt his touch.
,, Are you my good girl?’’ he asked, stopping his fingers form any movement. Feeling his hot breath on my neck, I forgot how to speak properly.
,, Y-yes’’ I managed to say somehow. Every kiss, breath, word, move from him, made me crazy wanting for more. I could lie to myself and say it’s only because it’s such a long time since I went in bed with someone. But I there’s no need for lies, I’m attracted to this man.
His fingers started moving in circles, massaging my clit just as I wanted. Placing his knee between my legs, giving himself more space for movements. I closed my eyes and moaned, once his finger enter me. Without any word his fingers started to move in and out, so slowly that it was painful. Loving every second of it.
Once again, he pulled me over, making me lie on my back, placing himself between my legs, pinning my hands over my head. No words could describe how I felt in that moment. This time I moved my head foreword and kissed him. I wanted more. He returned the kiss, and started grinding his lower part of body against me, making me feel his erection.
Whit every move he made, I wanted more and more.
When he let go of my hands, I immediately started touching his body, I wanted to feel his skin, his scars. The moan escaped his lips once I started kissing his neck. Not wasting any time, he pulled his whit shirt over his head and threw it across the room, giving me access to his well build chest. Without thinking twice, I started kissing his chest, the purple scars he had. His head was hanging low, breathing deeply.
His hand found it’s way to my throat, grabbing it harshly and pulling me up a little. ,, Time to undress you love’’ he said, his hand like a neckless around my throat.
Moving my ass up a bit, Dabi pulled my shorts and panties down, throwing them on the floor. When I was about to take my top off, he pushed me down smirking a little. Slowly playing with the lace on my right shoulder, he did something I didn’t expect. The blue flame appeared on his fingers, destroying the lace. First the right one, then the left one. His lit index finger went down over the material of my top, from my chest to my stomach, flaming it up just enough to destroy the material.
Once it was destroyed, Dabi pulled the rest of my top that was under me and also threw it across the room. Taking a good look of my naked body, he slowly went down, placing soft kisses over my stomach. The fact that I could feel his burnt skin too was taking me over the edge.
,,What if’’ he breathed out, still leaving wet kisses over my stomach and chest. ,, What if everyone knows to who you belong’’ he said, eyes looking up on me, trailing his finger around my stomach. His left hand holding my hip, making sure no movements were possible.
,,What do you mean?’’ I asked confused, not able to understand anything clearly anymore. There was no need for me to even think about it, because Dabi already made his decision to mark me as his. A loud scream escaped my mouth the moment I felt my skin getting burned.
His hand was still holding me firmly, but he immediately stopped what he was doing, and placed his hand over my mouth.
,,Relax, it will be over just in a minute’’ he said, kissing me deeply. He took the destroyed top and placed it between my lips. Making sure I was biting the destroyed piece of cloth, he slowly went down to finish what he started.
Making sure I won’t interrupt his work, he held my hands together firmly, while holding my legs with his weight down. Every move of his finger, burning my skin, was sending a wave of pain through my body. Closing my eyes, tears rolled down my cheek. Back aching up, screaming into the cloth in my mouth, nothing of it helped me calm down. But he was correct, it took him around minute to finish. Pulling the cloth out of my mouth, he kissed me.
,, Such a good girl’’ he said in between the kisses. Pulling my head up, I saw his name on my stomach. ,,Now everyone knows who you belong to’’ he added, leaving wet love bites all over my neck. From all the pain I felt when he was burning my skin down, everything after that felt like aftercare.
Dabi stood up, taking off his shorts and boxers before he climbed on top of me again. He kissed me once mere before he started rubbing his hard dick over my clit. He knew that I wanted more, but the he liked the fact that I was so desperate for him.
,, Dabi please’’ I moaned out, wanting him inside me already. Without any word or sign, he entered me roughly, not giving me any time do adjust to his size.
,,Of course I’ll give my good girl what she needs. You are too good tonight’’ He said kissing my nose, while my hands were grabbing the covers of his sheets to find my comfort in them.
He didn’t move for some minutes, leaving wet love marks over my chest. But once he was done, he slowly pulled his dick out so only his tip was inside of me. Then again, slammed it back inside. The harsh move, made me place my hands over his back, finding comfort there instead of the cold sheets.
He moved few times with the same method. Every time he would slam his dick back inside I wanted to dig my fingers inside his skin. But I was too afraid I would hurt his already burnt skin. I didn’t want to hurt him.
After he slammed too hard inside me, I accidentally dug my nails into his skin. It was probably not to hard, but still I caressed the place I thought I hurt and apologized to him.
,,You don’t have to worry about it love’’ he said stopping his movements. ,, My skin is already bruised, few new scars won’t hurt me’’ he added, giving me the permission to do what I want. Whit those words his movements started to speed up, making me throw my head back into the pillow and wrap my legs around him.
Dabi bit my shoulder, groaning into it, while he was getting faster and deeper with every move he made. Even tho I was still worried about his skin, I couldn’t help it, my nails were scratching it and digging into it enough to keep up with his moves.
,,I’m close’’ I moaned, while every thrust was bringing me closer to my orgasm. I didn’t have to repeat myself or wait, his hand found it’s way to my clit, rubbing it fast into circles. Which was enough for me to cum all over his dick while moaning his name out.
Without any word, Dabi turned me around on my stomach and entered me form behind once again. Holding my hips strongly while thrusting deep in and out of me. Being sensitive form my orgasm, with every thrust he did, my moans were louder.
,, Ass up’’ he said suddenly stopping his moves. Once I did what he told me, he grabbed my head and pushed it deep into the soft pillow and started to fuck me like there was no tomorrow. The sound of his skin slapping my own, the image of what was happening almost drove me close to my second orgasm.
My moans were huffed by the pillow, while Dabi was fucking me into the mattress.
,, Yess babe, cum for me again’’ He groaned into my ear, fucking me even harder.
,,So close’’ he moaned, touching my clit again and moving even faster and deeper if it was even possible. He didn’t have to touch me much, another orgasm was already hitting me hard.
,, Yess baby, so good’’ he moaned, while his dick started twitching inside of me. I felt his hot cum inside, closing my eyes, trying to catch my breath. Dabi didn’t stop, he tried to fuck his seed deep into me, until he thought it was enough.
Falling beside me, his arm over my back, breathing deeply into my neck. I wanted this moment to last forever.
His fingers trailing up and down my back slowly, while smoking a cigarette. The cold air coming form the opened balcony was a contrast to his hot fingers going up and down.
Once I noticed the cum that started to leak out, I stood up covering my body with the blanket, making my way to the bathroom to clean myself and wear another pajama.
When I finished, and changed. I found Dabi standing in the kitchen, already in his white shirt and his shorts for sleeping. Half of his cigarette was finished.
,, You coming back?’’ I asked.
,, Don’t you want to sleep alone ?’’ he asked turning taking one last smoke before placing the end of the cigarette under the water and throwing it away. I shook my head slowly, and made my way toward his room, hoping it’s enough for him to come back.
Once I buried my head into his pillow, I waited for him to follow me. But the steps were going to another direction, making me sigh deeply.
Shortly after that, at my surprise, Dabi appeared again. Holding some lotion in his hands. He sat beside me pulling the sheet down and my pajama dress up. Small smirk appearing over his lips at the sight of his name on my stomach.
Banding down, he kissed it few times before he applied the cold lotion all over it. Laying down beside me, he placed his arms around me and pulled me closer to him and hiding his face into my neck breathing my scent in.
With his presence and arms around me, it was the first night I could fall asleep peacefully not feeling scared of anything in this world.
Hope you liked it, too lazy to correct all the mistakes.
Also credit to the owner of the photo :)
Much loveeee
260 notes · View notes
12tardis · 4 years ago
Text
That's My Jumper (Newt Scamander x Reader)
Warnings: s m u t under the cut
Requested: yes! Lovely anon asked for a part 2 to That’s My Shirt with some s m u t but not too explicit with lots of fluff. I REALLY hope this is okay! Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader
Summary: The Part 2 to That’s My Shirt. You know Newt has a thing for you in his clothes so you decide to pull out the big guns. Enter Theseus who rudely interrupts you two, making a very cranky impatient Newt and unbeknownst to you Theseus sends Newt some inspiration in the form of a book. What happens when you find said book? Lots of flustered and shy Newt in the lead up
A/N: this is my first time writing s m u t so I’m scared and will probably hide away for a bit after this. I hope I haven’t tarnished Newt’s sweet image for anyone BUT CAN I JUST SAY- I reckon. Newt would ABSOLUTELY be a complete Hufflepuff in the bedroom: HARD-working , dedicated and patient. he would absolutely make you fall apart and then put you back together with so many tender cuddles and kisses you would just 💕 *chef kiss* Seriously though I’m S.C.A.R.E.D
Words: a whopping 5,522 (I’m tellin ya Newt doesn’t rush. But also the first like 3000 are fluff)
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 It had been a couple of weeks since you’d discovered Newt’s fixation with you in his clothing. You’d learnt of this particular turn on of his when you’d worn one of his shirts to work and had come home to find a rather handsy riled up boyfriend.
 There had been a couple more heated make out sessions since then and a few lingering touches here and there but for the most part, everything remained the same despite your many attempts to engage Newt in some private time.
 To be completely fair though you had both been incredibly busy for the past few weeks. You were working extra hours in the shop to cover for an absent co-worker and Newt had been running himself ragged, tending to some rather high maintenance baby Niffler’s.
 Today finally marked a weekend that the two of you had nothing marked into your schedules, of course Newt still needed to tend to his creatures but at least you could help him. You woke to find that Newt had already risen before you and he was presumably in his case so you rolled out of bed, smiling to yourself when you spotted his favourite jumper discarded on his dresser.
 Newt walked into the kitchen where he could hear you tinkering around not long after, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head when he saw you. You were wearing one of his sweaters and nothing else. He swallowed thickly and stood frozen on the spot as he took in the way the soft knit just barely skimmed to your mid-thigh and you had rolled the sleeves up a dozen times so you could fix breakfast.
 You had let the jumper fall to one side, exposing one of your shoulders completely. “Merlin, help me,” he whispered to himself. You looked like absolute sin and he felt a hot flush spreading as his own shirt felt suddenly too tight around his neck.
 It was the way that you shimmied your hips along to the music you had playing that was the final straw for Newt. And he found himself crossing the kitchen in a few strides, gripping your hips from behind and pressing a series of kisses to your shoulder.
 You yelped in surprise, dropping your wand onto the counter as your hands flew up “Newt! You can’t sneak up on me like that!” you gasped but you leant back into him with a small hum of approval at the new found attention he was lavishing on you.
  Newt kissed his way up from your shoulder, along your neck and to your jaw “couldn’t help it,” he murmured into your ear before he spun you around in his arms, gripping your waist this time as he pressed his lips to yours in a heated kiss.
 You sighed against his lips softly as your hands found their way to his hair and you gave an experimental tug oh his auburn locks, shivering at the deep groan he emitted in response.
 “Newt!”, you gasped when he suddenly lifted you by the backs of your thighs, hoisting you up onto the kitchen counter and moving to stand between your legs before attacking your exposed neck and shoulder with open mouthed kisses, “you’re. wearing. my. jumper”, he grit out lowly between kisses before he grazed his teeth against one particularly sensitive spot on your neck.
 You couldn’t hold back your moan when you felt Newt nipping at your skin, tipping your head back against the kitchen cabinet behind you to give him better access to your neck. “Goodness, Newt”, you whimpered, knowing he was definitely leaving marks behind in his wake.
 Newt paused in his actions, looking up at you quickly when he heard your remark, his thumb rubbing in small circles on your waist “is this okay my angel?” he breathed, looking at you with big eyes.
 You took in the concern in his eyes, feeling nothing but love for the man in front of you seeing him go from needy and commanding to gentle and caring in a matter of seconds. It only fuelled your desire to know that he cared for your wellbeing and comfort so much. “Yes”, you managed to whisper before you tugged him forward by his suspenders, your lips crashing to his messily.
 Newt groaned into the kiss when you pried his lips open with your own and delved your tongue into his mouth. Before you knew it he had worked a hand underneath the fabric of the jumper and was caressing the soft skin of your back as his other hand fell to your knee. You whimpered quietly and arched into his touches, jerking back from the kiss when you heard the doorbell ring.
 “No no no just ignore it,” he breathed out, pressing his lips back to the marks on your neck that he’d just made and you melted back into his arms before the doorbell rang again. You pushed him back firmly with your hands on his chest, ignoring the whine of frustration he let out and twisting out of his arms “I need pants”, you giggled, racing from the room.
 Newt tried to catch you but you were too fast so he huffed to himself, stomping to the front door ready to give the intruder a piece of his mind for rudely interrupting. He flung the door open, running his mouth before he even stopped to think.
 “Theseus, what do you want?”
 Theseus raised his eyebrows as he looked back at his younger brother, taking a few moments to stare back at him dumbly because - did Newt really just use a rude tone with him? “Uh...yeah good to see you too, little brother”, Theseus murmured slowly.
 Newt scratched at the back of his neck and looked back at Theseus’ awkwardly when he realised how blunt he’d just been “sorry...I was just...a little preoccupied” he murmured, scrounging for his words as he stepped aside “do come in.”
 Theseus frowned at Newt’s cagey behaviour, taking in his dishevelled appearance, noticing his crinkled shirt and his hair that was tousled more than usual. He had at least a dozen questions but they all died on his lips when he spotted you wandering into the room, waving happily at him.
 Suddenly everything clicked into place as his eyes honed in on the obvious love bites decorating your neck. Your hair was tousled too and was that Newt’s jumper you were wearing?
 “Ohhhhhhhhh I seeeeee,” Theseus crooned, looking back at his brother with a wide grin and wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously.
Newt immediately went rigid, standing a little taller because he knew that tone was never a good one. “What? What do you see?” he sighed, his patience once again wearing thin.
 “I’m interrupting your INTIMATE time”, Theseus whispered with a shit eating grin when Newt flushed darkly and began to shake his head violently “no I- we haven’t...you have the wrong idea!” he sputtered and Theseus raised an eyebrow in response “what? You haven’t?” he said with a scandalised expression.
 Newt huffed in embarrassment, only growing more flustered “Theseus, shut up or I swear I will hex y-“, he immediately shut his mouth when you sauntered over to them obliviously, hugging Theseus warmly in greeting before you curled your arm around Newt’s waist. “Theseus! I’m so happy to see you. I was just starting to prepare breakfast, won’t you join us?”
 And Theseus looked back at you with a bright smile, nodding quickly as he shrugged his coat off “Yes, I think I will.” he said before he tossed the coat at Newt, chuckling quietly at the scowl he sent back at him. “I hope I’m not intruding on you two lovebirds”, he added with a wink in Newt’s direction.
                                 *     *     *     *     *     *
Newt legged it to the bedroom when he heard your loud shriek a few hours later, looking at you frantically and letting out a deep breath when he saw you standing in front of the mirror.
 “NEWT you didn’t tell me I had all these hickeys on display all through breakfast!” you cried, tracing your fingertips over the marks.
 Newt let out a sigh, smiling crookedly as he wound his arms around you from behind again, hooking his chin over your shoulder and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve seen Theseus littered with them plenty of times before?” he offered in a lame attempt to quell your embarrassment.
 “Gee thanks that’s makes it all better, Newt”, you scoffed as you rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stay angry long when he was looking back at you with his puppy dog eyes. “You’re going to be the death of me Newton Scamander,” you sighed with a fond smile, turning around in his arms and tucking your face into his neck. 
 And then it was Newt’s turn to be humiliated the next day when Theseus’ owl dropped a parcel for him and he opened it to find a rather well known erotic novel. Newt gasped and quickly tucked it away, double checking he was alone before he peeked into the cover seeing his brother had inscribed it to him.
 Newt,
 This book basically taught me everything I know. Use it wisely.
And you’re welcome.
 -T.S
 Newt stared at the inscription for a few minutes, peeking over his shoulder before he curiously flicked through the book, his cheeks turning beet red and his eyes widening. “Merlin, no” he breathed, quickly stashing the book away thanking the stars that you were at work.                                   *     *    *     *     *     *
A few days later you wandered into Newt’s study where he was hunched over scribbling away in his journal. It was obvious he’d been working hard all day. “Honey, did you remember to eat today?”, you sighed, coming up behind him and gently running your fingers through his hair as you curled your other arm around his shoulders. You already knew the answer because you could see he hadn’t touched any of the food in the pantry or the fridge.
 Newt smiled immediately when he heard you, leaning back into your arms and peering up at you “oh I’m sorry, love. I didn’t even hear you get in,” he said, quickly getting to his feet, taking your hands into his own and smiling apologetically at you “I got a little carried away writing. How was your day?” He gently cupped your cheek in his palm before he made to move towards the kitchen “let me fix you some tea.”
 “Get back here”, you laughed as you caught him by the back of his shirt, tugging him back towards you where you spun him around to face you and curled both of your arms around his neck “where’s my kisses?” you pouted slightly up at him.
 Newt let out a noise of surprise when you hoisted him back, looking down at you with an adoring smile at your expression “oh how rude of me”, he grinned, leaning down to capture your lips in a gentle and tender kiss, his hands framing your waist.
 You let out a happy hum against his lips, breaking apart from him for air eventually and pressing a few kisses down the line of his jaw as you took his hands again. You tipped your head aside when you felt his lips brushing against the fading marks on your neck “Wait what is that?”
 You reached behind him, plucking the book Theseus had sent from the bookcase “goodness when did you get this?” and Newt felt his stomach drop and he blushed a deep pink “it’s not mine!” He barked, snatching the book from you quickly “Theseus sent it- I didn’t ask him to! He said- well he said it was a good place for me to learn. I swear to you I-I didn’t buy it!” He stammered, looking back at you desperately as he opened the book to show you Theseus’ handwriting.
 “Newt honey relax. Breathe!”, you cut in when you saw how worked up he was getting, cupping his face firmly in your hands and looking him in the eyes “My love I’m not upset. I believe you, it seems exactly the sort of thing your brother would do,” you said rolling your eyes fondly.
 “But even if you did buy it yourself I wouldn’t be angry.”
 Newt looked back at you with wide eyes, feeling a flood of relief to know you weren’t upset with him “you’re not angry?” He repeated, looking at you still somewhat anxiously and you couldn’t help but smile at how adorably flustered he was “no of course not. I know we’re learning a lot of new things together and I want you to be comfortable so if reading this“, you took the book from his hand and held up up between you both “helps you feel confident then I’m completely on board.”
 Newt bit his lip when you pried the book from his grasp, shaking his head and taking it back from you “even so, it’s not mine and I’m not taking any advice from my brother,” he turned around to shove the book into his desk drawer but he realised his mistake when you spotted the other book he had stashed away there. The book he actually had been studying.
 You snatched the book up, your mouth dropping open when you realised it was a muggle book on human arousal and anatomy and now it was your turn to grow flustered. “W-What’s this one?”, you squeaked out.
 Newt quickly took the book and set it down on his desk, taking your hands in his own as yet another blush flooded his cheeks “well, when Theseus did send me that book I couldn’t help but think doing a little research- some proper research wouldn’t hurt” he explained slowly, watching you closely and noting the way your eyes had darkened ever so slightly.
 “I wanted to know how to make you feel good, to know how to make you comfortable and to make sure you enjoy our time together. So I got this from a muggle store a few days ago,” he murmured, looking back at you shyly now because you were staring at him with a new intensity.
 You bit down on your lip hard as you grappled with the fact that your sweet, caring and innocent boyfriend had gone out of his way to buy such a book. In a public setting at that! And all for your benefit. You couldn’t deny the heat that was growing in your stomach, imagining Newt studying the book while you were at work.
“Did you...have you read a lot?”, you asked eventually.
 And Newt smiled sheepishly back at you, nodding slowly as he scratched at the back of his neck, willing the ground to swallow him whole now. “Y/N it’s not...I love you. And I love our time together, and I only ever want you to be comfortable. And if we’re never ready to take anything further then that’s completely fine with me. I can die happy just getting to spend my days with you,” he said honestly, beginning to ramble on nervously again.
 “I just-I thought perhaps over the past few weeks that we were headed in that direction. I’m so sorry if I had the wrong idea. I would never ever push you to do anything you didn’t want to do I w-“
 You cut him off with a gentle kiss, gripping him by his shirt collar and pulling back with coy smile “Relax, my love,” you murmured, tangling your fingers in his hair and scratching at his scalp like you knew always calmed him down “we are most definitely headed in that direction.”
                         *     *     *     *     *     *
You could tell Newt was reluctant to touch you or kiss you anything beyond short and sweet over the next few days, obviously still nervous he had overstepped his boundaries. You weren’t sure how many different ways you could tell him you weren’t upset with him.
 You had been trying coax him along, attempting to deepen your kisses each time he would actually touch you but you were left increasingly frustrated when he would pull away from you, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple before he would retreat into his case. You were going to have to persuade him another way.
 Newt was sat in his study, reading over his notes but his mind was fixated on you. He felt guilty because it was the weekend and he should have been spending quality time with you but he was too ashamed to even be around you after that episode a few days ago. He loved and cherished you more than you could ever know and he was angry with himself thinking he may have lead you to feel uncomfortable.
 Of course all he had to do was actually listen to a word you had said to him, but he was too busy being caught up in his own mind like he always was when it came to you. He had just built the resolve to go and talk to you and apologise properly as he pushed back from his desk and turned to the door. But his mind went completely blank when he saw you.
 You’d been standing in the doorway behind him for some time now, wearing his shirt. The same shirt that had started this whole thing all those weeks ago but this time you wore the shirt with nothing else but your lingerie. You were fidgeting with the cuffs self-consciously as you debated running away and ditching your plan altogether but when you saw the ravenous expression on Newt’s face you felt your confidence build.
 “Y/N”, he choked out as you slowly sauntered over to him and he was gaping at you, not quite knowing where to look as he took you in. His palms were itching to touch you as he took in the way the hem of the shirt grazed the top of your thighs and he felt his mouth run dry as his eyes trailed down from your face to your chest, seeing how you’d left most of the buttons undone, allowing him to see the most tantalising strip of skin. He was definitely sweating now.
 His reactions only spurred you on and you gripped his shoulders as you slowly straddled him on his chair, sucking in a breath when you noticed how dark his eyes had turned.
“Y/N...Merlin my darling you look absolutely incredible. Are you trying to kill me?” he breathed, his hands coming to rest on your hips and you realised he was obviously trying not to stare at your body and holding himself back from touching you like he really wanted to. That wouldn’t do.
  You took his hands in your own, pushing down your own nerves as you pressed your lips to his in a heated kiss, guiding his hands up to your breasts. Newt groaned against your lips, cupping your breasts firmly in his large hands, a shiver running down his spine when you moaned in response and arched into him.
 Newt was quick to take the opportunity to delve his tongue into your mouth, his tongue brushing with yours. And when you broke apart from him for air he tucked his face to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses along your skin, nipping at your flesh before he soothed his tongue over the same spot. “Newt”, you gasped out, gripping his shoulders tightly.
 Newt closed his eyes tightly as he skimmed one hand down to rest on your thigh, his fingertips teasing at your inner thigh “tell me what you want, Y/N” he murmured eventually, his voice deep and rumbling in his chest only causing you to feel even more worked up. “I need to hear your words, angel” he said right into your ear when you still didn’t answer him.
 You gripped his shoulders tightly as you let out a quiet whimper at his tone. Your heart was racing wildly in your chest as you felt simultaneously shy and turned on all at once. You forced yourself to look at him despite how shy you suddenly felt “I want you...to show me what you learnt from that book”, you said, rocking your hips down against his experimentally and biting back a moan when you felt his tell-tale hardness against you through his pants.
 Newt gritted his teeth from the pleasure that rippled through him, gripping your hips firmly in his hands to still you. He didn’t allow himself to get carried away just yet as he fixed you with a serious expression. “Darling girl, are you sure? You know your comfort is all that matters to me. I will wait my whole life if I need to”, he murmured, pushing his arousal aside for the time being to make sure you were entirely confident in your decision.
 “I’m sure Newt. I’ve been sure all week but you would barely look at me,” you sighed, moving to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead to his “I love you and I know I’m always safe in your hands. If you’re comfortable, I want you to show me all the new things you’ve learnt.”
 Newt nodded and cupped your cheek gently, looking back at you “I love you. So very much.”, he whispered before he stood up, hoisting you up in his arms by the backs of your thighs in one fluid motion, the mood immediately shifting back to one of passion and lust.
 He carried you through the flat easily, shoving the bedroom door open and then laying you down on the bed, wasting no time in lowering himself over you, pinning you down and looking at you with the same ravenous expression from earlier “you have no idea how utterly sinful you look right now”, he breathed out as he slowly skimmed his hands down your waist to your thighs again.
 He captured your lips in a deep kiss, rolling his hips down against yours with a low groan as he gripped the hem of your shirt, breaking the kiss to look up at you in question “angel, do you want to keep this on?” he practically purred out, nipping at your earlobe as he tugged at the fabric of the hem teasingly.
 You gasped when you felt his teeth against you, your hips bucking up on their own accord, drawing another groan from him “k-keep it on. But...but keep going” you stuttered, parting your legs for him as you felt the heat building between them.
 Newt nodded and began to trail kisses down your neck and down the valley of your breasts, stopping occasionally as he muttered sweet words at you “so gorgeous for me...so beautiful and stunning. Can you feel what you do to me?” he murmured, rocking his hips against yours, grinding his hard bulge against your mound, relishing the noises of pleasure you made in response.
 You had to admit you were taken aback by how vocal and chatty he was being but you couldn’t get enough of it, knowing you could work yourself up into a frenzy just listening to him talk. He was busy peppering your bra clad cleavage with kisses as he slowly trailed a hand up under the hem of the shirt, his fingertips barely brushing the edge of your panties before he paused to peer up at you again “May I?”
 Your lips parted with a small gasp as you felt his hand slip between your legs and you nodded quickly, looking down at him desperately when he didn’t move his hand any further “angel, I need to hear you”, he repeated his sentiment from earlier but this time much firmer, causing you to bite your lip and whimper quietly.
 “Yes Newt, please touch me,” you felt your cheeks warm at your wanton tone but Newt simply pressed another set of kisses down your throat as he cupped your warm mound over your panties in one swift movement, his cock jerking in his slacks at the wetness he felt on his palm.
 You let out another gasp as you arched your hips up into his touch, tugging him up by his shirt and kissing him deeply. Newt felt like a man possessed with every beautiful noise you let out and he kissed you back eagerly as he began to rub over your mound slowly but firmly, his fingertips teasing at the edge of your panties with each pass.
 He paused again when his fingertips found their way into the top band of your panties and you nodded wildly before he could question you again “Yes Newt please!”, your pleading turning into a breathy moan when he slipped his hand into your panties quickly, rubbing his fingers over your wet slit as he sucked at the sensitive skin of your neck.
 His hand delved lower between your thighs until his long pointer finger was running over your entrance and he used his thumb to rub at the small nub between your folds experimentally, pleased with himself when you cried out and jerked against him in pleasure “Merlin, Newt! Do that again”
 He hummed against your shoulder in concentration as he worked on repeating the same motion, rubbing you clit in small circles while focusing on each and every sound you were making, making a mental note of what you enjoyed.
 “You’re so beautiful my angel”, Newt murmured, looking up at you and trying to commit your expression of pleasure to his memory. He was truly a man possessed now as he dedicated himself to drawing those incredible sounds from you, skimming his other hand up and down your body slowly, noting every single area of sensitive skin that had you gasping or arching into his touch.
 “Do you want my mouth on you, darling?”
 You looked back at him with big eyes, swallowing thickly “I don’t...know what you mean”
 Newt smiled against your shoulder, propping himself up on his elbows to gaze down at you “I’ll show you but remember. You’re in control here my love”, he murmured seriously, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips “you’re the one in control here. Anything you don’t like, or even not sure about- you tell me and I’ll stop okay?”
 He waited for your affirmation before he began to trail kisses down your body, looking up at you when his face was finally nestled between your legs and he held your gaze as he pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh causing you to shiver, your hands bunching into the sheets below you in anticipation.
 Newt kissed over your thighs, sucking a few little marks to your soft skin as he hooked his fingers in the waist band of your panties, slowly peeling them down and off of you, letting out a breath at the sight of your wet slit. “Y/N, you are perfect”, he whispered, reaching up to take one of your hands, threading his fingers with yours as he slowly lowered his mouth to your pulsing mound, licking a broad stripe up your centre and closing his eyes when you bucked your hips in response.
 “NEWT!”, you were panting now as you gripped his hand in your own, your other hand flying to weave into his hair on its own accord and you cried out when he hummed against you in response.
 He used his tongue to stimulate your throbbing clit as he slowly sunk a finger inside you, his mouth dropping open at the feeling of your velvet walls accommodating him, your muscles clamping down on his one digit. “Y/N,” he whispered, grinding his own hips into the bed while you threw your head back in pleasure, feeling completely overwhelmed from the pleasure your boyfriend was bringing you.
 “Baby, tell me how that feels?” he looked up at you as he crooked the finger inside of you, taking in the way you gasped and whined when he rubbed over a particular spot inside you. You were too far gone in your pleasure to string a coherent sentence together so he relied on your little gasps and moans to make sure you were enjoying what he was doing.
 He carefully worked a second finger inside you, completely entranced watching you accommodate the extra intrusion. And once both fingers were buried inside you he sealed his lips around your clit, sucking and then groaning loudly against you when you tugged on his hair in response, rolling your hips up against him
 “Newt, oh my stars Newt!”
 He continued to work thrust his fingers inside of you, making sure to pass over that spot on each stroke and when he thought you were close to your release he moved back up your body. He tucked his face of your shoulder, pressing kiss after kiss to your delicate skin, holding you close against him as he worked his fingers even faster and deeper inside of you, his thumb rubbing at your clit in tight circles.
 “Let go for me, angel. Let yourself go”, he murmured lowly into your ear, watching you in rapt concentration as you tensed up not a moment later, crying out loudly as you clenched around his fingers rhythmically. “That’s it, darling girl. Just like that.”
 Newt skimmed his lips over your love bites as he rubbed you through your release, carefully working his fingers free and holding you close, his hands soothing over your back as you worked through the aftershocks.
 He pressed kiss after kiss to your head, once again murmuring sweet nothings to you and you melted in his arms, your body going completely lax.
 “Oh, darling you don’t have to”, he murmured, gripping your wrist when you worked your hand down his body.
 “But I want to Newt, I wanna make you feel good too,” you said honestly as you continued to trail your hand down to the button of his pants.
 Newt shook his head, taking your hand and lifting it to his mouth to brush his lips over it “this was about you, angel,” he murmured, smiling sheepishly at you a moment later “besides I already...uh...”, he trailed off with a blush, cringing slightly at the sticky sensation he now noticed in his pants.
 “You...oh!”, you breathed with wide eyes when you finally understood what he’d meant, pressing your lips to his in a soft and reassuring kiss, a little flattered by the notion anyway. “Well, I’d like to read that book of yours. So I can know how to make you feel good.”
 Newt blushed even more at the images that he conjured up then, pressing another series of gentle kisses to your jaw “I somehow think you won’t be needing it,” he smiled, holding his hands up at the look you shot him in response “okay okay if it will make you happy then of course! I’m just saying you always make me feel good anyway,” he murmured as he slowly sat up to go and clean himself up.
 You sat up with him, cupping his cheek in your palm as you looked back at him lovingly “that was incredible. You were incredible. I’ve never felt so much...so good before,” and you smiled adoringly when he smiled widely back at you in pride, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips “I love you”, he murmured as he got up to his feet and headed for the bathroom.
 You watched him wander off, laying back on the bed with a blissed out smile “you should you know?” you called out after him.
 And Newt glanced back over his shoulder at you in confusion before he stepped into the en-suite “should what?”
 “You should thank your brother!”, you shouted to him, giggling at the noise of shock he let out in response.
 “I will do no such thing! He is to know nothing about any of this. Ever”, he muttered and he was back your side on a flash, clambering back into the bed and wrapping his arms around you, tugging the blankets up around you both before he relaxed.
 “He is the one that got you this shirt though”, you teased after a moment, giggling again at the dark expression that crossed Newt’s face.
 “Y/N! I don’t want to hear you mention my brother again in our bed.” he huffed out, scowling at you when you continued to laugh.
 “You’re just so cute when you’re jealous”, you cooed, skimming your fingertips through his hair soothingly.
 “I’m NOT jealous. I’m just territorial.” he said simply as he skimmed his thumb over some of the marks he’d made on your neck. And he smiled when it was your turn to grow flustered.
 “I mean that in the sense that you are my pride and my heart- not an item to be owned,” he murmured and you looked back at him, shaking your head as your felt your heart somehow fill with even more love for this man that never seemed to stop taking your breath away. PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS! 
 -MASTERLIST HERE- 
1K notes · View notes
jimlingss · 5 years ago
Text
The Art of Benefits
➜ Words: 9.8k
➜ Genres: 50% Fluff, 50% Smut, FWB!AU
➜ Summary: There's only one aspect of your life that's missing: sex. But you know yourself. You catch feelings as quickly as you catch colds. But when your friend arranges a meeting with a certain Park Jimin, you'll become inclined to learn the craft of detachment, aka. the art of benefits.
➜ Warning: sex, sexual discussions, toys, sucking dick, period sex, etc.
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[2nd Year Fall Semester]   Life as a sophomore wasn’t shabby.   Assignments, papers and midterms came and went with decent grades that you eventually forgot about. Lectures, club meetings, and studying took most of your time too. But Christmas was arriving and that meant it was sweater weather. It also meant that snow was dusting from the sky and you were watching couples cozying up and keeping each other warm from across the dining center.   It was unfair really. You were cold too. In fact, most of the time you happen to be cold. And while relationships were too much of a time commitment for you to take on, you deserved a cuddle buddy just as much as the next person. Or a fuck buddy. Either works really.   You’ve never been opposed to a friends with benefits relationship.    The only problem is, it would never work for you.   But if you somehow learnt to detach your emotions, it could be the most efficient thing yet. After all, good sex with another warm body was the only aspect in your life that you were missing.   “I mean it’s possible. A lot of people start friends with benefits relationships on campus,” Wendy says as she stuffs her face with her sub sandwich and muses mid-chew, “There’s actually a lot of candidates to choose from.”   You’re exasperated at her nonchalance. As if it’s as easy as going to the supermarket and picking someone up. “Who?!”    You need someone who would be on the same page as you, with the same priorities, a good sex partner who wouldn’t catch feelings either. But frankly, you don’t know that many people.    “Well, what about that guy from your class that you were crushing on? Didn’t you say he was super smart? Might help you on your assignments too.”   “Namjoon?” You shake your head. “He’s got a girlfriend.”   “Okay. What about that older guy in your board games club?”   “No. Seokjin’s graduating next semester.”   Wendy hums, eyes flickering around the dining hall center as she contemplates. “How about Yoongi? From what you’ve told me, he seems pretty cool.”   You loll your head to one side and stab your sweet and sour chicken. “I’m not going to sleep with someone from work. That sounds like a disaster waiting.”   “Jungkook?”   “That’s weird. We went to the same elementary school together.” You can still remember his bowl cut hair as clear as day, and not to mention, the two of you share a group of friends. If things go downhill, it would be a complete mess. The epitome of inefficiency. Which is counterproductive to your goal.   “Taehyung?” At this point, Wendy’s just listing out random people that you know, but you play along just for amusement.   “Nah. Yena has a crush on him.”   She takes another clean bite of her sandwich. “What about that guy that works at that McDonalds that you find cute. What’s his name? Hugo? Howard?”   “Hoseok,” you correct with a feigned glare that makes her smile. “And that’s a big fat no. He doesn’t even know I exist. What am I supposed to do? Waltz up to him and ask to be fuck buddies?”   She grins. “Well, I mean—”   “It wouldn’t work,” you deadpan before she laughs and in turn, makes you giggle too.   The chatter of the room settles in your ears as background noise. You gaze out the window to the sparkling snow piles that reflect the lampposts soft, white light. The sun has long fallen even though it’s only six p.m. The low lights peeking through the somber clouds covering the horizon does little. You dread the thought of having to venture out into the cold and catch the bus home.   You don’t notice how Wendy’s looking at you while she sips on her water. Not until she hums. “You know what? I know someone I could hook you up with.”   Your brow cocks and the corner of your mouth twitches. “Is he a fuckboy?”   Your long time friend shrugs with a glint in her eyes that makes you unsure if she’s serious or not. Wendy once joked that she had a boyfriend from Northern Canada and convinced you hard enough that you legitimately believed her for a good month. So you can never be quite certain when it comes to her. For all you know, she could just be making it up to entertain you.   “Sort of, but he’s a nice one.” Wendy stays vague. “He was my lab partner.”   You stare at her and when her expression remains blank, you scoff. “Sure, sure,” you draw out the syllables with a small laugh and bat the air with your hand just to end the conversation.   And when it’s never discussed again, Wendy moving on to tell you a story about something she suddenly remembers, you’d one day come to realize that was a terrible, terrible mistake.   //   That one day is now.   3:50pm. Wendy: hey i set up a meeting what that guy 3:50pm. Wendy: third floor library  3:50pm. Wendy: he’s in a red hat btw   The text comes right when you’re leaving your last lecture of the day.   3:51pm. Y/N: what guy   3:53pm. Wendy: your future fwb   3:53pm. Y/N: ?????????????????????????????????/ 3:53pm. Y/N: ???????????????? 3:54pm. Y/N: wtf i wasn’t SERIOUS   3:54pm. Wendy: wat   3:54pm. Y/N: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING   3:56pm. Wendy: lmao too late 3:56pm. Wendy: at least meet him he’s waiting sis   3:54pm. Y/N: can’t you cancel?????????   3:57pm. Wendy: n a h   You nearly burst an artery in your temple at the emojis and memes she spams to you.   3:59pm. Wendy: I already told him the gist btw 4:00pm. Wendy: don’t chicken out   With no other choice, you make a u-turn and head towards the library with too many thoughts swirling inside your brain. Chances are this stranger is going to see you, think you’re ugly as shit and try to back out of it. It’s going to be awkward as all hell and you’re not sure you’re ready to have this traumatizing memory for the rest of your life.   Then again, you wonder how Wendy even convinced this dude to meet up. If he’s really that easy going. If this is a typical thing people do now. Or maybe Wendy showed a picture of you on your insta and he agreed afterwards — it wouldn’t be the first time she did that, much to your embarrassment. But you hope it’s the latter case. At least that eliminates the possibility of him trying to backpedal his way out of it after seeing your face.   You also wonder how the hell you’re going to find him. The library is full of students, the rowdy ones and the studious ones being disturbed by them. You wonder what he looks like, what he’ll be like. Third floor. Male. Red hat.   You arrive at the appropriate floor and begin scanning the premise, walking around as your eyes sweep the area. Almost immediately you catch a brunette hunched over and on his phone by the table. He’s wearing a red cap on backwards, purple tee shirt. He has a frat boy aesthetic.   Not really the type you go for.   Looking over him, you round the computers, bookshelves and tables. But finding no one else with a red hat on the third floor, you sharply inhale and approach the boy with his fluffy cheek rested in his hand, arm propped up on the table lazily. Scrolling through his phone.   “Excuse me.”    Your voice is light and hesitant as if you were asking help from someone at the front desk and not seeing if this was a potential fuck buddy. It’s mortifying to say the least.   His head lifts, brown eyes catching the lights.   You clear your throat. “Wendy…”   “Oh. You’re her, right?” He smiles and thankfully, doesn’t seem to be disappointed. “Wendy’s friend?”   “Yeah. I’m Y/N.”   “Jimin.”   Now that you get a closer look, he’s kind of cute. But you don’t dwell. Or look him in the eye.   It feels like a job interview. But worse. “You were Wendy’s lab partner?”   “That’s me.” He pockets his phone. “I’m a kines major. You?”   “I’m in the arts faculty. Political science.”   “Cool, cool.” Jimin nods and then gets to business without any shame, “So Wendy already told me about it. You’re looking to have a friends with benefits relationship?”   “Yeah….about that….”   “I’m down if you are.” His hand opens up, gesturing to you. You’re not sure how you feel about how laid-back he is, but he remains upfront which you suppose is the right thing to do. “I have a dorm room in the Sierra building by the engineering faculty building if you know where that is.”   “I’ve walked past it before.”   “Cool. Anyway, my last f.w.b. ended two months ago and I kind of miss it,” he quickly clarifies, “The sex, I mean.”   You’re speechless and contemplating if you really want to do this. You know if it works out, it’ll be fairly efficient. You’ve always gotten off by yourself and while it works, it’s not something you’d call completely satisfying. Having someone’s help— good help — is a change you’ve been considering. But a friends with benefits situation has always been one of those ‘what if’ scenarios. You've just never had an opportunity like this to make it actually happen.   Jimin senses your hesitance and leans forward. He lowers his volume. “Are you a virgin? Cause I’m cool with—”   You scoff. “No. I’m not. I just...haven’t done something like this before.”   “Friends with benefits?” His question is answered by your body language. “It’s not bad. Safer than one night stands and more consistent too. You don’t have to go out and find someone every time you want to have sex. And it’s a low level commitment.”   The corner of your mouth pulls and you agree. “It’s efficient. But...I need time to think about it.”   “Sure. Tell me when you make up your mind. I’ll give you my number.” He opens his hand again and you pass him your phone. He quickly types it in. “Take your time.”   //   And you do.   You weigh the pros and cons against each other, considering every possibility and all the consequences. Part of you wants to just go for it. The same part that once decided in high school at midnight that bangs would be a hot look on you. (It wasn’t). The part of you that dyed your hair blue that one summer on a whim. The part that doesn’t want to think and wants to jump head first into things. Jimin made a lot of good pointers too and you’re certain this would be a good outlet. An experience. It helps that he’s quite attractive too and seems to be trustworthy and rational.   Yet, part of you wonders if it would be a bad decision.   There’s a chance that you might catch feelings. For you, it wouldn’t be unheard of either. You have a tendency to catch feelings as fast as you catch colds. And you already know that’s the demise of these kinds of relationships. Once a party gets involved too deep, it’s game over. There’s nothing but heartbreak.   The only way it would work is if you minimize your interactions with him.   The less attached you are, the less likely you are to develop feelings for him since the only way you would like anyone is if you knew them. So the less you know, the better the outcome.    It’s an equation.    It’s the art of the benefits.   And if that works, if you master the art, it would solve every potential issue.   The dorms for sophomores are bigger than the ones for first year freshmen. Instead of a single room with two beds on either side by the walls, there are private bedrooms with just a shared bathroom, a main living space and kitchen.    “Bathrooms are over here,” Jimin gestures. There’s one room at the end of the hall and another one beside his. “Both my roommates are out, so you don’t have to worry. They’re pretty nice.”   You feel awkward lingering at the entryway with your backpack on.   You clear your throat. “Can I get a drink?”   “Oh yeah. There’s new water bottles by the sink, I think, and there’s orange juice in the fridge if you’d like.”   “No, I mean, do you have anything alcoholic?” you correct and he blinks at you owlishly before smiling. You drop your bag and find it in the fridge, a whole vodka bottle. You fill a shot up with a glass on the drying rack. The clear liquid burns as it travels to the back of your throat. The bitter taste nearly makes you gag, but you feel your face warm and you ease even more, knowing it works.   In the meanwhile, Jimin studies you, standing from across the kitchen island. His hands are casually dug into the pockets of his gray sweats. “We won’t have to follow through with this, you know. I’m fine either way.”   “No,” you quickly refute, irrationally afraid he’s changed his mind. And the words spill out of you as you cringe, “I’m horny as shit, I’mjustnervous.”   The guy smiles, eyes slightly crinkled when he does so. “Of what?”   “A lot of things.” You don’t pour a second shot even though you kind of want to. But you have things to do tomorrow, so you can’t nurse a hangover and you most certainly don’t want to be drunk while doing this. “If you didn’t notice, I don’t do this often.”   While you’re at it, you tell him, “I don’t know how to suck dick.”   He leans against the counter, grinning. “Okay. I don’t mind.”   “Also, if you haven’t noticed either, my ass is kind of deflated.”   Jimin shrugs. “I’m more of a boob man anyway.”    You narrow your eyes, not sure if he’s lying or trying to make you feel better.   But there’s no time to dwell when he seriously asks— “Do you still want to do this?”   It takes a second for you to muster your courage. And once you do, you know you won’t back down. “All right. Let’s do this!” You walk into his room like you’re about to go fight off a monster.   Behind you, Jimin grins and it takes a good moment for him to calm you down.   “Are you okay with kissing?” he asks, door shut and distance closed. He’s intimately close and you nod.   Finally, your brain stops overthinking and you let yourself feel. Jimin’s lips are full and plush, and they’re good against yours. The soft smacking fills his room. The two of you kiss until your lips part and he begins to lick into your mouth, tongue entering without much hesitation.   You fall back onto the mattress, noticing that the bed’s been made sloppily, but better than your own. The pair of you keep kissing and he hovers over you, capturing you against the sheets. Pathetically enough, you already begin to feel your center throbbing and it’s a relief when you both get rid of your clothes.   He doesn’t talk much — doesn’t give much commentary or even dirty talk. But you don’t mind. All you’re offering after all is soft sighs and quiet moans.   Jimin squeezes your breasts and fingers you for a good minute. He’s surprised to see how wet you are, even letting out an ‘oh shit’, but you make no efforts to come up with an excuse. The stretch feels good from his thick fingers, but you bet it’ll feel good around his girthy cock too.   He goes to grab a condom from his drawer, but pauses.   “Do...you want me to eat you out?”   “I’m good,” you politely decline, afraid it might be too intimate. You’re not sure where the lines are drawn, but it’s something you’ll have to gauge while you go. “Do you want me to suck your dick? You might have to teach me though.”   The corner of his mouth tugs. “I’m good too.”   As Jimin rips open the condom package, you turn yourself around and get onto all fours. He doesn’t protest and when he enters you, it feels good enough for you to fall forward into the pillows. His cock is of average size, but he’s girthy and your cunt stretches to accommodate him.   He groans in his throat when you clench — and the sound gets you off, making you squeeze again. Jimin pounds into you, his pelvis hitting the meat of your ass, cock drawing in and out against your tight, warm walls. You do your best to meet his thrusts halfway, jerking your hips back and you stifle your moans with your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. The sloppy sounds of slapping and the creaking of his bed makes you glad his roommates are gone. And while the sex is not mind-blowing per se, it’s still good. Enough that you climax once he rubs your clit several times and he unloads into the condom too.   It’s easier than you thought it would be. Not a big deal whatsoever. It took ten minutes in total and it felt good.   It’s just sex — and that’s exactly it. Just sex. The very lesson of the art of benefits.   You pick up your clothes off the floor, slipping them back on. “I gotta get going.”   There’s no snuggling, no cuddling, no pillow talks. And it doesn’t seem like he minds whatsoever.   “‘Kay.” Jimin picks up his phone off his bedside table to check his texts and waves goodbye without even looking at you.   You leave, walking yourself out and humming as you stride down the hall.    You’re glad you went through with it.
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[2nd Year Winter Semester]   You run there with your sandwich stuffed in your cheek.   By the time Jimin opens the door, you’re still chewing while panting. It’s a comical sight by the way he smiles at you. You’re already winded before anything’s started. “I hadn’t eaten yet and I needed to get my blood sugar up.”   Jimin’s lips are quirked. “We can always eat beforehand, you know. There’s food in the fridge.”   “Nah, I’m good.” Having meals with your friends with benefits is the last thing on your mind.   He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”   You use his bathroom, releasing your bladder and rinsing your mouth thoroughly. You know yourself and you’re not a novice on how these relationships work. The less interaction and knowledge you have about him, the more you can keep your distance.   “G-God,” he exhales shakingly, hand fisted in your hair. “You’re getting b-better at this….”   Jimin watches through heavy lids as you’re slobbering over his cock. He tries his best to watch, but when you run your tongue over the weeping slit at the bulborous head, his eyes shut and his head naturally knocks back. You’ve gotten better at a lot of things in the few months that have passed, namely sucking dick, but your jaw aches and you wonder when he’s going to cum.   It’s worth it though. You might be the one kneeling in front of him, but you feel powerful. It’s too easy to make him crumble. To make him moan like that. It makes you wet to hear him and knowing you could bite off his dick or make him lose a load, the sheer power eggs you on.   Like you were taught, you inhale, ease your muscles and take Jimin as far as you can.   He chokes as his cock hits the back of your throat. Your gag reflexes threaten your endeavour but you keep them at bay and Jimin’s hand in your hair tightens. Especially when you swallow.   “Fuck. I-I’m going to cum.”   Thank god. Finally!   Usually, you let off so he can cum elsewhere (god forbid in your hair) or if he accidentally does it in your mouth, you spit it out on tissue. But this time, you made a commitment to yourself. You came here with a goal. So you inhale again and deep throat him, sucking as much as you can.   With his curly pubic hair grazing your nose, Jimin cums. His groans staccato. His cock twitches.   And you swallow the bitter, white fluid that comes out in ribbons.   After a few seconds, you finally withdraw. Jimin opens his eyes, staring at you in wonderment. There are strands of saliva from between his softened cock to your lips and you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.   “Not gonna lie.” You clear your throat and swallow down the remaining taste. “That’s really nasty.”   Jimin bursts out laughing.   “Thanks.”    “It’s the least I can do.” You stand up, shaking your left leg awake. It feels like pins and needles when you step around. “I’ve sat on your face like twice already.”   You toss Jimin his pants off the ground and you get your cardigan back on.   “You wanna come over on Friday?”   “Uh…” You grab your phone from your jacket that’s also been discarded and check your calendar. “Sorry. Can’t. I’m busy on that day.”   His brows raise, but he doesn’t question it.   “How about Saturday?” you offer.   “No. I have a kines exam scheduled.”   Your face twists in disgust. “On a Saturday?”   “Yep. I know. It sucks.”   You sympathize, but you’re also surprised. “I didn’t know you were a kines major.”   “What? I thought I told you.”   “Guess I forgot.” You put yourself back together and a thought strikes you. Your eyes light up and you turn to your friend with glittering eyes. “Does that mean you can crack bones? I’ve always wanted to go to a chiropractor since my lower back always hurts. You should crack it for me.”   Jimin grins. “Sorry, I don’t know how to do that. They don’t really teach you that kind of stuff.”   “Oh.” Your eyes dim and you don’t try to hide your disappointment. You almost thought you could get a little more out of him, but you suppose decent sex is enough.    As you grab your bag, you notice that his phone lights up. “You got a text from Victoria.”   “Thanks.” He reaches over, but the curious expression on your face must be visible, since he says, “Don’t worry. She’s not my girlfriend or anything. She’s just someone I’m kind of into.”   “Nice!”   The corner of Jimin’s mouth quirks at your genuinely excited response even though he never looks away from the screen. You’re psyched though. If he has an interest in someone else, there’s less chance for anyone to catch feelings. Fewer connections. More distance.   “If you ever want to end this, just let me know.” You throw your backpack on that’s heavy with your laptop and textbooks inside.   “Yeah.”   “I’m going now.”   “Bye.” Jimin’s fingers fly across the screen to text the other girl back and neither of you spare each other a glance. The door shuts moments later and the noise echoes through the walls.
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[3rd Year Fall Semester]   In spite of being a junior now, things have relatively remained the same.   According to course outlines, lectures are more in-depth in their content, but there’s still assignments, papers, and midterms. The grading schemes haven’t changed and you know there’s a shit ton of work waiting for you in the coming months. But you find pleasure wherever you can.   The door opens, but it’s not Jimin on the other side.   “Hey, Y/N.” Taemin, his roommate, is eating chips. “He’s in his room.”   “Thanks.”   You shuffle inside and after briefly greeting Jongin, the other roommate, who’s busy playing Animal Crossing on the living room couch, you beeline to his room. You find Jimin hunched over his messy desk, rounded spectacles on the bridge of his nose as he’s tapping furiously across his laptop keyboard.   He glances at you. “Sorry. I need a second.”   “Take your time.”    You set down your bag and shed your coat, tossing it aside. You’re not sure what he’s doing, but you don’t ask. Instead, you pull out your phone and run through your usual apps. With no messages to answer or anything to scroll through, you check your email and find the words ‘emergency’ in one of the subject lines.   After a minute, Jimin saves his document and closes the lid of his laptop. He stretches above his head with a groan and turns around, only to find you now hunched over your own device.   “Sorry,” you mutter once you feel his gaze on you. “My manager needs me to fill out my timesheet and send it to her.”   “I didn’t know you worked.”   “Just part-time at the admissions office here on campus.” You go quiet as you skim over your email again to ensure it makes sense. “It’s a pretty easy gig.”   He hums and you finish, shutting your laptop and sticking it back into your bag. That’s when you finally get a good look at the boy across the room — dark hair, blue shirt and gray sweats — and you notice how tan he’s gotten. It’s a good look.    Your mouth tugs. “Did you travel over the summer?”   “I went to the Caribbean with my family for like two weeks.”   “Fancy.”   “It was alright.” He gets up and re-stacks the textbooks on his desk into a single pile. Jimin notices the stack of flyers he was supposed to distribute. “Oh yeah. Do you want to join the crayon club?”   Your brow lifts. “The crayon club?”   “Yeah, you can come colour every Wednesday night and just hang out with people.” Jimin grins boyishly. “My friend wanted to make a club and he made me the communications executive. I’m supposed to get people to join. You don’t have to, but the first meet and greet is this Friday, and the more people the better. There’s gonna be free food by the way, if that helps.”   You’re not sure that's a good idea.   The two of you have never really met up outside of his dormitory, aside from the first time you met at the library.   “Let me check my calendar.” You grab your phone again and thoughtlessly mumble, “Sometimes I’m busy on Friday. I’m part of the board games club and we meet up every other week…..don’t judge.”   “I’m not.”    Still, Jimin's smile widens and you feign a pout.    You’re free this week.   “I’ll come if you make me an executive too,” you quip carelessly while tossing your phone aside. “It’ll look good on my law application.”   Jimin quirks his head. He didn’t know you were aiming for law school. “Okay.”   “Wait.” You’re taken off guard, eyes as wide as saucers. “Seriously?!”   He with a small laugh. Jimin gets up and closes the distance, making you lean against the headboard until he’s completely hovering over you, mere inches away. “We actually need a position filled anyway, so you just saved me some trouble.”   “You better keep your promise, Park.”   You end up showing with Wendy and Tiffany in tow — the former who wants to raid whatever food there is and the latter genuinely interested in colouring as a means of relaxation. It’s a bit awkward to meet so many new people at once and Jimin’s friends at that, but you can tell they’re nice at heart. Albeit, a bit rambunctious and too friendly. And you’re a bit horrified when one of them tries to eat a crayon to further advertise the club.   “So, what’s up with you and Jimin?” Tiffany asks, peering up at you as she colours in the lines carefully. She’s unaware of your arrangement with the boy. It’s not something you’ve told many.   You feign ignorance, not wanting to get into the details with strangers around. “What do you mean?”   “Are you dating him?”   You scoff. “I wish.”   Immediately, Wendy’s brows raise to her hairline and the words that fumbled out of you thoughtlessly finally sink in. “I mean, no, we’re not. Not I wish.”   Luckily, Tiffany spares you and doesn’t pry. But you’re mortified and you glance at Jimin from across the room laughing noisily with his friend. You turn away from him, trying to create more distance.
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[3rd Year Winter Semester]   With exam season here, you and Jimin hadn’t seen each other in a while.   Luckily, Spring break was approaching, so you at least had something to look forward to. The idea of being able to lay in bed and sleep in automatically puts you in a good mood. Jimin, however, seems less than stoked.   You watch from the bed as he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up before you’ve gotten a chance to. He was frowning when he opened the door, greeted you with one word and in general, has been quieter than usual.   “Is….everything alright?” You wonder if you did something to piss him off, but then he says—   “I flunked my final.”   Oh. That explains his bad mood.   “The one you took this morning?” you ask.   “Yeah.” Jimin deflates with an extended sigh. “I didn’t get the first twenty questions and then I fucking ran out of time….”   There’s a pause that lingers.   “Well, you’re not sure if you actually failed, right?” You lean closer to him, quirking your head to the side. “The marks haven’t been released and who knows, the prof might curve it.”   “Maybe. I don’t know.” Jimin scrubs a hand over his face, uncertain and stressed. “This ruins everything. I’m trying to get an internship at a clinical rehabilitation facility and I want to apply for a masters and now...fuck.” You’re surprised. You didn’t know he had so many goals. “I’m screwed.”   Jimin flops back onto his mattress, staring at the ceiling. You loom over him, blocking his view.   “Does the internship look at your GPA?”   “They want a three point o average or more.”   “What do you have now?”   “Three point five.”   The corner of your mouth pulls and a rush of air leaves your nose in a snort. “Then you’ll make it! Even if you failed one exam, it wouldn’t tank past a three. It can’t be too bad, right?”   “Yeah, I guess.” Jimin sighs and absentmindedly tugs on your strand of hair that’s fallen in front of your face and is grazing against his cheek. “I just don’t know anymore.”   “It’s going to be fine,” you reassure, slapping your hand on his shoulder. “You’re just overthinking it.”   “Maybe,” he hums.   A sudden thought comes across your mind and your small smile turns devious. “Let me make you feel better.”   You shift to straddle his hips and instantly, his hands lift to your waist. Jimin starts to grin as you pull at his shirt, trying to get him to strip. And you do your best to pleasure him.   It doesn’t take much effort considering Jimin’s hand is already tightening in your hair the minute you run your tongue along his shaft. But he doesn’t let you suck him for too long, eager to feel you inside instead and pleasure you just the same.   It’s eager and messy sex. You’re on top until your thighs begin to burn and you lose your pace. Then he re-repositions the both of you, so you’re flat on your back and he’s doing most of the work. You end up cumming twice. Once around his covered cock and the other time after he coaxes you around his stiff tongue and eggs you on, even when you’re sobbing from the overstimulation.   It feels good. Better than good.   Over time, the pair of you have gotten to know each other’s bodies better, what works and what doesn’t.    Your relationship with Jimin is an investment that feels worth it.   “Hey…” You’re both facing away from each other as you put your clothes back on. Jimin turns his head and you cast him a glance. “I was thinking of maybe starting birth control…”   He blinks.   “If you go get yourself checked out and make sure you’re clean, we can do it without condoms.”   You pull down your sweater over your head and you both stare at each other. He looks surprised and responds in a delayed manner, “Okay. Cool. I’m down. I’ll get myself checked out this weekend. I haven’t really slept with anyone else since this started though.”   It’s your turn to be caught off guard. “Really? What...about that girl you were into? Vicky?”   “You mean Victoria?” He jumps as he puts on his sweatpants, getting both legs through at once. “Nah. It didn’t end up working out.”   “Oh.” He’s entirely nonchalant about it, so you merely nod.   Jimin walks you to the door and you notice that he’s in a better mood than earlier. You hide your smile to yourself, glad that it was mutually beneficial.   Two weeks later, he gets an email before the two of you get down and dirty, and you’re the first one in his life to know that he got the summer internship. His excitement is infectious and you genuinely feel happy for him.
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[4th Year Fall Semester]   It’s so close, you can taste it.   A whole new semester and cart of overpriced textbooks later meant you were a senior now. It also meant that there was just this year left and you were out of here. Finished at least one degree. A step closer to making the big bucks and being a whole ass adult.   The idea is both exhilarating and frightening.   2:20pm. Jimin: Wanna come over?   The text mocks you, but the temptation is tangible. Like a carrot tied at the end of a stick that’s attached to a hungry rabbit. You’ve been sexually frustrated since last night, feeling it in your loins since morning, and fidgeting and rubbing your thighs underneath tables and desks. The thought of getting that sweet relief properly is enough for you to want to ditch class altogether, but you can’t. Not for the next few days.   2:22pm. Y/N: can’t. 2:22pm. Y/N: I’m on my period :((   2:23pm. Jimin: I don’t mind   2:23pm. Y/N: really???? 2:24pm. Y/N: are you sure   2:25pm. Jimin: lmao 2:25pm. Jimin: yes   You brace through the rest of the lecture, paying more attention as the anticipation swells. And when it’s all over, you race across campus to the dormitory building you’ve become familiar with.   Jimin opens the door before you need to knock and he plants a chaste kiss against your lips in greeting. You’re taken off guard, but don’t pay too much attention to it. “How was class?”   “Good. You?”   “Same,” he hums.   You drop your bag in his room and gesture below your waist. “I’m going to need to wash up. The nether regions are a bit…”   He smiles. “Sure. I got spare towels I can set down too.”   You self-consciously linger for a moment as he goes to his closet to the upper shelf. The towels are luckily green and not white. “I’m surprised you’re okay with it. Having period sex, I mean.”   “Why wouldn’t I be?” Jimin pushes his blanket aside and puts a towel down. “As long as you’re fine with it, then I am too.”   “I don’t know. Doesn’t blood gross you out?”   “Not really? Most of the time I’m the one making the mess, so it’s actually nice to have someone else make the mess for once. Plus sex is sex. What’s there to complain about?” His brow lifts and he looks at you. You scoff and it makes Jimin grin.   You wash yourself up and he fucks you in missionary position on top of the towels. The pair of you have only done so a few times before. Typically, you’re face down, bent over, on all fours or looking away from each other. But the change is welcome. Jimin hovers over you and you can kiss him when you want to.   “F-Fuck.” A pitched moan unintentionally spills from you when he hits a spot at your walls that has your toes curling. “Ji...min.”   It’s more lubricated than usual, making the strokes easier. He goes softer too. Deeper. Jimin presses your thighs to your chest and makes you feel him all the way to your throat.   The boy smiles tenderly at your reaction in spite of panting himself. “Feel good, baby?”   “Y-Yeah.” You nod, eyes shut tight. You grip his forearms when he bottoms out again. “Always does.”   Your warm walls pulse around his thick cock and you end up cumming soon after. He groans into your neck at how you tighten around him like a vice grip and he thrusts into you one more time before his cum fills you.   The pair of you jump in the shower together to get cleaned up and then you’re picking up your clothes while he tosses the towels in the laundry.   “What were you working on, on Thursday?”   You blink, realizing that you texted him vaguely about being swamped and unable to come over, and that’s enough for you to unload and go on a tangent. “God, don’t remind me. It was my fucking thesis. I barely managed to finish it but I don’t even know if it makes sense and now I have to edit like fifty pages by myself before giving it to my supervisor, so that’s fun.”   It feels good to let it off your chest.   Jimin smiles subtly at your venting. “I could always edit it for you.”   “What? Seriously?”   “Sure.” He shrugs. “I’m not in poly sci, but that might make me a bit more unbiased. I’m not doing much these days either.”   “Oh my god.” There’s an overpowering urge to bow at his feet or suck his dick until you’re gagging or do both. “You’re a life-saver!”   Jimin laughs and it’s the sound of angels singing. “Just send it over. I can get it done by tomorrow. You have my email, right?”   “Of course I do. Duh!” Your grin is big enough that your cheeks hurt and he has one that matches it as well.   //   A few weeks fly by and things calm down enough that you can finally breathe. But that’s when you receive a little text from a certain someone that has you skeptical if you can rest easy.   6:48pm. Jimin: I have a surprise for you 6:48pm. Jimin: I forgot about it   You’re not sure what it is, but asking would be like pulling teeth with him. Jimin hates spoilers and he likes surprises all too much.   Lately, you’ve both been getting into some freaky shit. Buying toys, blindfolds, handcuffs. As adventurous as college kids with a limited budget can get. It was rather fun for the pair of you, and expectedly, some experiments work out better than others. It sends goosebumps all over your skin every time he talks dirty. You like it when Jimin spanks you too. Although, you’re still unsure about the whole candle wax on your body idea.   But there’s one thing for sure — Jimin can most definitely not role play for his life.    The whole school girl fantasy lasted a good five minutes before he started bursting into giggles and breaking character every other second. Playing doctor only made you realize how ticklish he was too. And the tickle fight that followed was definitely not something one would call ‘sexy’. Even if it did lead to the deed being done.   “Hey.” Jimin greets you with a grin and a chaste peck against your lips. “How was studying?”   “Fine.” You brush off the question quickly, too curious of what he has in store. “Jimin, I’m not going to use that twelve inch dildo unless you want to drive me to the ER.”   He bursts out laughing. “That’s not it. Good try though.”   Instead of going to his room like you usually do, Jimin leads you past the kitchen area to the table. It’s been cleared off and you give an inquisitive expression. He grins and then gestures to it.    “Lay down.”   “What?”   “Just lay down.” He takes your hand, guiding you on it and you obey wordlessly. It doesn’t seem like any of his roommates are home and you hope they don’t come back any time soon lest they find you lying face down on their dinner table.   You feel Jimin round the table and pull your ankles together. You tilt yourself up to peek at him, but then he barks— “Down.”   With a pout, you return to your position, arms folded underneath your head. You hope he isn’t about to rub spices on you and roast you in his oven like it feels like he’s doing.   You feel the gentle pressure of Jimin’s hands against your spine, his thumbs pressing into your skin and he hums, “Relax. Okay. Breathe in for me.”   An inhale is taken and his hands suddenly press into the middle of your back. You hear your bones crack loudly. It catches you off guard and you turn yourself with wide eyes. “You know how to do it?!”   He boyishly grins. “I might’ve learnt a thing or two during my internship.”   “Keep going, keep going.” You flip yourself over again, gesturing to your back and he laughs, going down your body and cracking your bones. You become butter in his fingertips, lower back feeling better already.   “Lift your leg for me.”   You follow his instructions to a t. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” you ask sleepily, lulled by his care. If he massaged you too, you might just cream your pants.   “I got this, I got this,” he reassures with a bit of arrogance. “I’m not a professional, but I know what I’m doing. You trust me, right?”   A noise is made at the back of your throat.   “If you break a bone on accident, I’ll sue you,” you mumble as he turns you over. “God, feels good.”   After a while, Jimin gets you to sit up and continues. He looks nice when he’s concentrating. Expression blank. Lips plump and in a line. Brows only slightly furrowed. “Considering you don’t have any ailments, you don’t need to get your bones cracked often. You should stretch and do some exercise instead.”   You scoff. “Having sex with you is enough exercise.”   To prove your point, you latch onto his arm and tug him towards you. Jimin smiles and the two of you break a sweat against each other on the table before either of his roommates come home.
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[4th Year Winter Semester]   It was an invitation that you would’ve called yourself crazy for offering a year ago. But if it wasn’t for him editing your thesis and taking a load off your mind, you would’ve had a harder time.    You had him to thank for that.   “So?” Jimin’s seated across from you at the restaurant booth. It wasn’t surprisingly difficult to ask him to grab a bite with you. For some reason, you thought he would reject. “What’s the big news?”   Instead of answering, you reach into your bag and slide the envelope across the table.   He’s curious and takes it, pulling out the letter to read. You sip on your water, watching his expression intently. He mutters the words and it takes him through the first paragraph before he realizes. Then, at once, Jimin’s eyes widen. His mouth drops and he looks at you proudly.   “You got into law school?”   “Three of them,” you tell with a cheesy grin.    “T-That’s….fucking amazing. Holy fuck.” He reaches over and hugs you. It’s awkward considering there’s a whole table in the way, but you appreciate the sentiment. You’re giddy and giggling at how excited he is. It makes you feel like the first time you opened the letter yourself.   Jimin presses a kiss against your hair before withdrawing. “When did you find out?”   “Two days ago. I really thought I wasn’t going to get in since I got rejection letters last week from the other schools, but then three of them came in rapid succession.”   He shakes his head, still in awe. “Congratulations. Seriously. You deserve it, Y/N. God knows how hard you worked.”   “Thanks.” You smile to yourself, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. “I was thinking of maybe leaving the city to a different uni, but….I’m going to stay with my parents for as long as I can to save up on loans.”   “Yeah, sounds good.” He nods. “Moving out can be expensive.”   “What about you? Have you applied to your masters program yet?”   Jimin laughs. “Actually, I was planning on telling you that today too. I didn’t bring any fancy letter with me though.”   You lean closer, sitting on the edge of your seat. “You got in?”   “I did. Yesterday.” His enormous smile causes your own to expand. “I’m gonna do it part-time while working at the same facility I did my internship at.”   You’re happy for him and you can tell by his expression that he’s genuinely excited for you too. The pair of you were taking steps forward for your future and while it was a little scary, for now, you enjoy the victory and pig out at the restaurant with little restraints.   At the end of the night, you’re both wine drunk when you stumble back to his dorm room and soon, you’re trying to muffle your whimpers with your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. It doesn’t help when he presses the humming vibrator to your clit harder.   “J-Jimin,” you sob, fingers twisting into his sheets. You’re slumped against the headboard as he surrounds you.   “Louder,” he commands, watching you through heavy lidded eyes. The cold air of his bedroom made your nipples hardened, yet you feel hot all over, under his gaze and ruthlessness.    Your hand curls around his wrist. “Your roommates are sleep—” You cry and keen against his chest when he plunges the toy into your swollen cunt that’s leaking down your ass and thighs.   “It’s okay,” he murmurs in a low voice against your ear, “Let it go.”   You feel the toy nudge against your cervix, the vibrations trembling through your body and you orgasm hard with your forehead pressed against Jimin’s shoulder. Even then, he continues to draw it in and out of you, studying how you’ve creamed around the vibrator, how your slick is dripping to his sheets that are already stained with the scent of your shampoo.   “J-Jimin,” you whine loudly, not knowing if you’re trying to lean away from his touch or closer. “T-...too m-much!”   “You can take it,” Jimin softly coaxes and you nod.    You cum again after a minute and he immediately kisses you with a big smile before peppering pecks down to your neck. It makes you feel ticklish and winded.   “Hey...Jimin…”   “Hmm?”   “Are we still gonna do this after we graduate?” you ask in a quiet voice, laying back in the ruined sheets. “I’m gonna be busy and you are too.”   “We’ll figure it out.” He flops beside you and you both face each other. Jimin’s arm is draped over your waist and you stare at one another for a moment before he closes the distance.   Jimin nudges you for a languid kiss, your noses brushing as his soft, plush lips press against yours. It’s unhurried. Slow. He urges your mouth to part for him and his tongue slips in as you whimper, giving you a chance to properly taste him.   Sloppy, wet noises fill the room while heat rises to your cheeks. But you’re unbothered while swapping spit with Park Jimin. It’s lazy, yet it feels good. So much so that you’ve relaxed entirely.   In the back of your mind, you know you should get up and put some clothes on. Any cuddling or post-sex touching has largely been unprecedented before this and it’s not good to make habits you’ll have to eventually break. You should get your sweater off the floor, or at least slip on his purple t-shirt….   But you give into the temptation and shut your eyes for one second. One mere second.    That’s enough for you to doze off.   When Jimin realizes you’ve accidentally fallen asleep, he smiles to himself and tugs the blankets up to your shoulders, securing you in warmly.   //   You stifle another yawn with your hand.    It’s 9:30 in the goddamn morning and way too early for you. There’s a reason you pick afternoon classes, go to work afterwards and then go see Jimin to end your day off. There’s no situation good enough that warrants your alarm blaring before eight — but you suppose a graduation ceremony could be an exception.   “There’s so many people,” your dad gasps in wonderment, looking around the vast hall. “Do you know them all?”   “No.” You hold in your sigh. “I don’t.”   For the past twenty minutes, you’ve been running around looking for your parents after they’ve wandered off and gotten lost. If they weren’t spamming their cameras on their phone and telling you to smile in front of the odd statue or the meaningless bulletin board that wasn’t even part of your faculty, it was calling your name as loud as they could to find you in the crowds.   You’re happy over their enthusiasm but also burdened. It’s a lot of mixed feelings.   “Y/N?”   Dark hair and brown eyes — a certain someone who you weren’t expecting to run into is staring right at you with a boyish smile. “Jimin?” He looks good, a suit underneath and a black graduation gown over it that falls to his calf. His gown has a golden hood and tassel while yours is white — the colours symbolizing your different faculties and areas of study.    “Hey.” His gaze is warm. “You look nice.”   “Thanks. You too.”   You don’t linger on him for long, not when his parents are right by his side. You divert your vision and greet them politely. Jimin surprisingly looks a lot like his dad and his mom has a kind face. They seem like sweet people and you’re suddenly breaking into a sweat. “Nice to meet you.”   Your own parents make themselves known and you feel like your worlds are colliding as they shake hands and exchange names, congratulating each other on their child’s graduation.   You’re about to get them moving along when your mom nudges you. “Is this your boyfriend?”   Her voice is way too loud and you feel yourself burn in embarrassment.    “No. He’s just a friend,” you whisper it sharply but much your dismay, they look unconvinced.   You miss the way Jimin smiles to himself.   “We should get a picture!” his dad declares and your own dad looks even more elated at the idea of spamming more pictures. You already had to delete a hundred blurry ones, but your mom ignores your groan and pushes you both towards some weird artwork on the wall.   “Stand over here! Over here! Smile!”   Your parents end up sitting next to each other on the rows and you have no words, forced to sit at the bottom with the rest of your graduating class. It’s a wonder that the Arts Faculty was scheduled right before the Faculty of Kines. Fate or coincidence, you’re not sure yet.   But it’s still nice to see Jimin walk the stage and be able to cheer for him.   “Congratulations, Mr. Park.”   He grins. “Congratulations to you too, Miss L/N.”   It’s certain that the numerous celebrations with family, friends and relatives will be chaotic, so you take advantage of the opportunity while you still can. You steal just a little moment for your selfish desires by standing outside before you’re both bombarded by your circle of people.   “You know, I couldn’t have done it without you.”   “Oh, stop it with the sappiness.” You can’t feign a roll of your eyes when your smile is so big.   He swings an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and laughing. “Why? Don’t like it?” And the little shit slyly leans in to whisper, “You like it when I call you my baby though.”   “Jimin!”   He laughs and you sigh with a smile.   You’re glad you ran into him.
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[Post-Graduation]   You open the door, welcoming yourself in.   “Hey.”   Jimin’s on the couch and glances at you, unfazed at how you’ve waltzed right into his apartment with little warning. You’ve always knocked out of courtesy for his roommates, but ever since he moved out of the dormitories, you find little need to make him walk all the way to the door.   He’s watching a thriller and you flop down on his couch, leaning over to plant a quick peck against his mouth as a greeting. “How was work?”   “It was okay. A bit busy. I met this nice old lady and we chatted for a bit. She called me handsome, so there’s that.” He grins and you scoff lightly, leaning your cheek on his shoulder as you watch the main character venture into an abandoned house on screen. Jimin loves his praises, so you’re not wholly surprised he’s kept a mental note of it.    You’re not sure why it’s important though. Anyone with eyes would agree he’s good-looking.   “How was class?”   “Awful,” you mumble, feeling tired against him. You came over to get rid of some sexual frustration, but you’re not even sure you have the energy to do anything anymore. “Commuting was brutal this morning. Traffic was backed up on the highway and I was late, and yesterday I had to drive back at night. My parents are driving me nuts too. I can’t study properly.”   Jimin hums a soothing note and slings an arm at the back of the couch where you’re sitting, letting you lean into him. It goes quiet as the two of you watch the suspenseful scene and then he absentmindedly pipes up after a minute, “You could always move in with me.”   He continues, “It’s closer to the university and it’s quiet during the day, so you can study. We could always study together too.”   It’s a good idea, but— “I can’t afford that.”   “I don’t mind paying rent for a while. It’s the same either way.”   It takes a second for the words sink in and then you’re peeling yourself off of him.   Your gaze is met with Jimin’s, eyes locking into one another and the movie is left in the background. “As roommates?”   He shrugs. “There’s only one bedroom, but sure.”   A studio apartment. One bed shared. Two people.   Watching movies. Having sex. Eating together.   It doesn’t sound bad to you whatsoever, but you contemplate it. It swirls around inside your head and you murmur, “Isn’t that breaking the rules of being friends with benefits?”   And you don't know why but Wendy’s words from the other day are echoing inside the caverns of your brain at the worst moment. “You know, your relationship with Jimin isn’t exactly normal.” You weren’t sure what she meant and you still don’t know. Not when she had advertised and encouraged this kind of arrangement all those years ago. When she had told you many people got involved in each other like this.   But you’re starting to wonder if something is off.   Did you do something wrong? Did your relationship with Jimin spiral out of control? But everything feels normal.   After three years, you’d think you would’ve mastered the art of benefits by now.   You sigh, getting a headache. Yet, Jimin merely shrugs.    As if the definitions and boundaries don’t bother him whatsoever.    “Is it?”   “Kind of. I mean, living together, being mutually exclusive. It almost sounds like….”   “Like what?” His brows lift. “Like we’re dating?”   You feel hot in your face, skin toasted like a furnace. Maybe you’re being delusional or silly. Maybe he’s going to laugh at you. “This is what couples who are going to get engaged do.”   “Maybe we should date then…?” The pitch of Jimin’s voice raises at the end, not necessarily a question but neither a statement. It’s questionable like he’s unsure how you feel. Like he’s playing a guessing game. And then he smiles at your shocked expression.   Jimin turns to face you fully. His gaze is heavy, earnest. “Maybe we should date.”   This time, it’s repeated as an assertion.   Confident. Unwavering. Sincere.   Jimin leans in to kiss you as if he can’t resist anymore. It’s tender, taking you off guard and you lean into him, finally allowing yourself to become surrounded by him. Mind. Body. And soul.   When the two of you pull away, he smiles while catching his breath. “I-I’m down if you are. This apartment can be yours and you can study here and sleep here and whatever. We can eat together and I’ll buy you take out or cook. It’s fine if you don’t want to. I’m cool with anything. We can keep being friends with benefits, if that’s what you want….so…......what do you want?”   You exhale lightly, feeling warm. “This...is a lot.”   “Is it?” Instantly, Jimin appears panicked and you hold back a laugh. “We’ve technically been together for three years and...what we’ve been doing recently is basically dating. In my opinion.”   “Did Wendy put you up to this?”   “No.” He shakes his head. “Frankly, the person I talk to most these days is you. And I like it that way.”   God, you hate him.    You pull Jimin in for another kiss, an aggressive and eager one. Enough that you can feel the heat off of his own face. You move to straddle his thighs and when you break apart, you muster a glare at him. “You know, I’ve been trying so hard not to catch feelings. You’re ruining all my efforts, you know that, Park?”   He grins. “Is this a yes?”   “It is.” This time, he’s the one to kiss you, sealing your lips together as he smiles against your mouth and squeezes giggles out of you. Even if he doesn’t say it, even if he’s saving it for another day, you know from his tender touches that he loves you. And it’s mutual.   No longer do you need to worry — leave right after the deed is done or be panicked when you’ve accidentally fallen asleep in his bed. You’re unashamed when he kisses you harder as a greeting, when he holds your hand, when you go out together. You can have pillow talks without needing to guard yourself, cuddle him, call him yours.   And when Christmas arrives, meaning sweater weather and snow dusting from the sky, you have someone to keep you warm. Someone who you can come back to and call your home.
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dameronology · 4 years ago
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written in the stars (poe dameron)
summary: after months of going back and forth, you & poe are finally forced to have a conversation that you’ve been avoiding. it’s bound to hurt, but he’ll never give up hope. 
warnings: swearing, angst
i hope u enjoy! 
- jazz
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You and Poe had broken up.
But also...had you really?
I should preface this by saying it was complicated - a tale as old as time, right? Two people who were still in love, but couldn't find it within them to stay and fight; but you couldn't find the tenacity you needed to leave, either. It left you in a state of limbo, half way between the gates of heaven and the flames of hell. Try as you might, and as many times you'd told your friends with complete bluster that it was over, it never really was. You couldn't quit Poe, and he was pretty addicted to you too. Your feelings weren't a switch. You couldn't just turn them off. That would have been pretty fucking convenient, but nothing about the human brain ever was. The very galaxy in which you existed thrived on complications: love and war, rain and shine, good and bad. Your relationship was like a smaller scale model of that. A constant back and forth between a state of battle and times of peace. That was what had forced you away in the first place: if you were in love, would it not have been peaceful all the time? At what point did you draw the line between passion and toxicity? He didn't know and neither did you.
The entire separation was a pointless fete really, because even if you were physically apart, Poe Dameron still owned your ass and staked a large claim in your heart. Your times with him had been some of the best; he was some of the best. It was just that you were both stubborn, and fighting in more than one type of war. It was all well and good to be head over heels, but only when the timing was right. The leap was only worth it if there was water to catch you, and in your case, it was jagged rocks. That hadn't been enough to stop you constantly running back to him though, bloodying yourself up time after time. 
It was always just for one night. Usually after a few drinks and some pretty intense eye contact, and you'd be falling back between the sheets together. There was always the whispered promise of I'll be gone in the morning, but then you'd wake up in his arms and know in your soul that it wouldn't be the last. You swore to yourself it was but even for someone as stubborn as you, it was a hard pact to keep. How many just one nights had you shared together? It was probably ten. Maybe in the ballpark of fifteen. And then, once you'd stopped lying to yourself for the sake of self flattery, you would realise that it was more like twenty. Maybe twenty five? You weren't keeping track. That wouldn't have been good for either of you.
The morning after your twenty seventh just one night, you'd woken to a quiet room. Everyone in the Resistance had been out late, and the base was peaceful, save for the sound of the whirring of the boiler and the occasional clanging of the pipes above you. Poe's arms were tightly around your waist, holding you to his chest. His curls were tickling your neck as he quietly snoozed, head buried in your neck.
It was the first few moments of blissful, bleary-eyed ignorance. You know the seconds immediately after you wake up, when the circumstances were beyond you and your own name was a mystery? You willed yourself to stay in them, to not remember who you were or why you were in Poe Dameron's bed. Thinking about it would hurt.; remembering would have hurt. A cold reminder that the best thing in your life had become another victim of the war. That you weren't together and hadn't been for a while. Months, actually. Bare times like these, you'd let him slip away a long time ago.
You were the realist out of the two of you. Poe Dameron was a hopeless fucking romantic and every time you fell back into his arms, it gave him a little glimmer of hope. A tiny piece of anticipation that you would forget your existing problems and say come home, baby. He knew it was foolish but in times like these, pipe dreams were the only way people got through the day. Day-dreaming of romanticism against the back drop of a raging war was more common than not. Even Leia Organa dared to let herself dream. What else did anyone really have?
'Morning.' Poe quietly whispered.
He was in a similar state to you, knowing that last night had been a mistake (your twenty seventh, to be exact) but not wanting for it to be over just yet. If you could pretend for a little longer, even just five minutes-
'I have to go.' You sighed softly.
'Got a meeting?' He asked. 'On a Sunday morning?'
'No, Poe.' You murmured. 'I just gotta go.'
'Or could you not do that.' His grip on you tightened, head coming to rest on your shoulder. 'And stay here forever.'
Forever. That was a funny word. One you used to say to each other a lot - every day, in fact. I'll love you forever. I'll stay forever. That first one was true, at least. Forever was a big word. It was bigger than you and it was bigger than Poe. Neither of you knew what you'd been promising at the time.
'You know I can't.' You tried not to turn around, tried not to face him. The minute you caught wind of his warm eyes, you knew that would be it. The sad look on his face was enough to make you want to back-track on everything.
'Why do you always do this?' His voice was despondent. Poe let go of you, propping himself up on his elbows.
'Me?' You raised your eyebrows. 'It takes two tango-'
'- I don't mean that. I don't mean last night.' He pulled the covers further up his body as he sat up. 'I mean now. In the mornings.'
'What do you mean, Poe?'
'You're always the one to leave.' He said. 'You have a foot halfway out the door before I even wake up. Fuck, you have a foot half way out the door the whole night. You don't even bother shutting it behind you.'
'You know why.' You didn't bother to argue, instead clambering across him and out of bed. 'We've had a thousand conversations about it.'
Poe followed you out of bed, winding the sheet around his waist. He watched as you darted around the room, picking up your clothes that had gone flying the previous night. You pulled them on with haste - you just wanted to get out. The entire atmosphere was suffocating, threatening to swallow you whole and chew you up. That would have been preferable, actually. Poe wasn't usually this resistant when you'd left in the mornings before. He usually waved you off without a worry. Now, he was asking questions. Questions that you didn't want to answer, even if you knew what to say.
'That's the thing.' Poe said. 'I don't. I know we had our issues but the more I think about it, the more I realise that we can still make it work.'
'We can't!' You stopped, shirt midway over your head. 'You're forgetting, Poe.'
'Forgetting what?'
'The fighting!' You tugged it over your head, forcing your arms through either side of the shirt. 'The arguing, the accusations, the sleepless nights-'
'- that's my shirt-'
'- the you did this! and you did that!' You continued to ramble, pulling the khaki button up and throwing it towards him. 'Don't you remember? We were so dependent on each other but we couldn't seem to stand each other either.'
Poe's shoulders slumped, and he dropped back into the mattress. Yeah, he remembered. Chosen to forget, probably. Things had been either really, really good or really, really bad and it got to the point where the good wasn't worth the bad. If it was meant to be, it would have been lots of good times sprinkled with a few bad times. Instead, it felt like you were constantly in a storm, wading through the rain in hopes of finding a sunny day. That wasn't how relationships were supposed to be.
'So why do we keep doing this?' He asked. 'I know we were bad at a lot of things but we can't even break up properly.'
'Because it's a half-way point.' You reasoned. 'One night stands mean that we can be together without being together. No strings attached.'
'But we are attached, baby.'
You gave him a knowing look. 'My point exactly.'
'Are we going to keep doing this?' Poe murmured. 'Because every time you leave, a little part of me dies inside.'
You paused, biting your lip for a moment. You both knew the answer to that question - you just didn't want to admit it. This whole thing had to stop. The pretending to hate each other during the day and running to each other at night had to cease. Like smoking, the best way to quit was by going cold turkey. Just as Poe had said, having one foot out the door and one foot inside wasn't going to cut it anymore. You were in or you were out.
And out was the only option.
'For what it's worth, I'd rather it be coming in and out of your room than a revolving door of hot people.' You said. 'That might have actually killed me.'
Poe let out a small snort, despite the situation. 'I miss you. I really, really miss you.'
'And I miss you.' You replied. 'But I don't miss...needing you. I've learnt to exist outside of me and you, and so have you. We're better as separate people.'
'Separate entities.' He nodded. 'Got it.'
'That means that we actually have to do this now.' Your voice wavered slightly. 'We have to actually end it. We have to put us in the past and put a lock on it.'
Poe's chest felt heavy. He knew it was stupid to have held out hope that you might change your mind, but the fact you kept coming back for more lead him to think that the idea wasn't entirely crazy. What you had together was rare, and he knew he'd never find it again.
So, he settled for closing this chapter. For saying goodbye to this relationship; this version of you and him. It didn't mean that it wouldn't happen again in future. Maybe if you both survived the war, you could take the time to work through what had torn you apart. You could sit down and figure things out. There was no guarantee of it - no promise or certainty - but it was all he had. Because Poe knew that he could never completely quit you. Even if you said the words out loud and swore that him and you would never happen again, he knew you. You were past the point of no return. Past the point of ever loving anyone else in the way you loved one another. 
He knew that no matter what, you would come back to him. Maybe not now, but there were plenty of times in the future that weren't now. The idea that there might even be the slightest chance of you coming back and figuring it out was enough reason to fight. To fight for you, to fight for the galaxy, to fight for the Resistance.
Poe let you walk away. He let you get dressed, give him a watery smile and quietly shut the door behind you. Because he knew, no matter what, that you would come back to him. It was just the kind of thing that was written in the stars, like Leia Organ's bad-assery or Han Solo's sarcasm.
He didn't know when. He didn't know how. He just knew.
And that was enough, because he was certain he’d see you again. 
tags: @joyfullyswimmingface @etherealsanakin @interwebseriesfan24 @itspdameronthings @xwing-baby @jbtwpk @spider-starry @marvelinsanity​
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yuziyuanapologist · 4 years ago
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i got this as an ask several weeks ago, from the angst prompt list that i cant be bothered finding again, wangxian + “shit, are you bleeding?” unfortunately sometimes tumblr decides that i must pay for my crimes and deleted the ask instead of saving it as a draft. so. but i had the fic saved! so once more with feeling:
it’s here on ao3, 2.9k words, canon divergence from ep33, no big warnings but mostly-non-graphic injury description and also my personal vendetta against the lan clan’s rules.
big thank u to @goldencorecrunches for reading this over and generally being the best
It’s been a strange few days. 
As Wei Wuxian wakes up from what feels like a dream, he finds himself somewhere he’s never been - yet somewhere familiar, all the same. The sound of soft notes - the song of clarity - floats through to his consciousness, he turns his head to the side, smiling gently at Lan Zhan, deep in concentration with his fingers on the strings.
It’s not the way he would have chosen, to come here to Gusu, but he could get used to it. He’s certainly grateful for it, brought here safe instead of dragged back to Lotus Pier - or, indeed, slaughtered where he stood. 
Zidian gets no more pleasant, in a new body. Sixteen years away clearly has not mellowed his sh- his ex-shidi. 
He has questions, though, as to why the sixteen years have worked in what seems like the opposite way on Lan Zhan. Wasn’t he desperate to scold Wei Wuxian before, wasn’t he desperate to - drag him back here to Gusu?
Well, he managed. But it - well, either it was never as bad as he thought it would be in his last life, or Lan Zhan’s intentions are more gentle now. Sweeter. He’s simply playing for Wei Wuxian, dressed all in white save for -
“Shit, are you bleeding?”
The notes come to a discordant halt as Wei Wuxian forces himself to sit. Lan Zhan straightens his shoulders - the shoulders that, down one side, are tainted with a stain of dark red.
His only answer - typical Lan Zhan - is “Mn.”
“Lan Zhan - wh-”
“Do not panic,” Lan Zhan says, even as Wei Wuxian hauls himself to standing, his legs buckling beneath him in protest. Lan Zhan stands in one fluid motion, and crosses the room to take Wei Wuxian’s arm, and lift him back to the bed. 
Wei Wuxian protests half-heartedly, but only from sitting - he really is weak in this new body.
“It is nothing unexpected,” Lan Zhan says, quiet resignation filling his voice. “Stay.”
“Lan Zhan-“
But Lan Zhan has already crossed the room, moved behind the screen in the corner, and Wei Wuxian’s vision is fuzzy already from standing so quickly - he can’t protest, or follow - he can only wait.
It’s not long, a few minutes at most, that Wei Wuxian passes with his head in his hands, trying to fit this information in somewhere that makes sense - although, of course, he’s been gone sixteen years. It could be anything.
Lan Zhan emerges, and his robes are once again pure white, as if nothing had ever happened.
He settles back behind his guqin, and his fingers meet the strings once again, soft notes melting into the evening. 
"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian speaks up, even though, despite the sixteen years since he's known him - he knows he will give no answer
As predicted, he gets only silence. 
"Was it Zidian? Did Jiang Cheng-" he cuts himself off with a shake of his head. That's not how Zidian works, and he knows it. The only likely part of that story is Jiang Cheng, and perhaps - but Lan Zhan was so unconcerned, it can't be a recent injury. And it is nothing unexpected - 
"Is it a curse?" 
"You ought to have paid more attention in your lectures here." 
Wei Wuxian scoffs. “I’ve been dead for sixteen years,” he reminds Lan Zhan. “Even if i had paid attention, would you really expect me to remember?”
Lan Zhan doesn’t respond beyond a slow blink, one that could disguise the edges of a smile - but it’s been sixteen years. It could just as easily be anything else.
After too long in silence, Wei Wuxian lets out a sigh. This isn’t how he wanted to begin to make amends, this isn’t who he would choose to be, on his second chance. Overbearing, insistent, prying. That was for Lan Zhan, that was for sixteen years ago. “Lan Zhan -”
“It does not matter,” Lan Zhan interrupts, and his voice falls to soft tones, evocative of tears that no one has shed. “You are here.”
*
Blood runs slowly into the water of the Cold Springs. Wei Wuxian watches, his mouth slack with worry. For all that Lan Zhan had acted as though it was nothing to concern himself with - and for all that he had then refused to speak more about it - this wound is deep. It cuts from the top of his shoulder blade, all the way down below the water, and the blood flows thick and steady.
There are other scars, too - long healed, but that might once have been just as deep.
“Lan Zhan -“
As soon as the words sound in the quiet air, Lan Zhan's tranquility is stopped  - he flees the water and dresses before Wei Wuxian can even finish the sentence. But - on his way out of the water - he exposes a second wound across his lower back - shallower, than the first, the blood thin and only trickling from the wound - but still it bleeds.
Lan Zhan moves to face him on the bank of the stream, tying his robes closed. He blinks slow, and opens his mouth at the same time as Wei Wuxian. “Wei Y-”
“You said it wasn't anything to worry about,” Wei Wuxian says, barely even trying to keep the accusation out of his voice. “This is - this is -" he lets it rush out in a breath - there aren't words for what he means to say. 
"It is nothing to worry about," Lan Zhan repeats, without meeting Wei Wuxian eyes. But there's a pallor to his skin, a weakness to his breath - he takes a step, and stumbles. 
"Lan Zhan!" 
"I am fine," says Lan Zhan. "My body will adjust." 
"What do you mean? Can you not give me a straight answer?" 
Lan Zhan's eyes drift shut. "I need to rest." He moves past Wei Wuxian and starts down the path. 
Wei Wuxian is not so easily distracted. "You need a doctor, Lan Zhan," he tries to insist, reaching for Lan Zhan's arm, but he's shrugged off in an instant - and though it's weak, Wei Wuxian has almost no choice but to let go. He follows along, though, hand inches from Lan Zhan's arm in case he needs to hold him up.
A minute later, Lan Zhan replies in a low voice. "No doctor of the Cloud Recesses can help." 
"What? What do you mean?" 
But try as he might, he gets no further answer from Lan Zhan, until they're back in his jingshi and Lan Zhan settles cross legged on the floor, eyes falling shut and yet doing nothing to slow the red bloom on the back of his white robes. 
"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian tries again, but he is ignored. "Lan Zhan, at least -" a solution comes to him. "Do you have a needle and thread, then? Preferably silver, but I mean, I get that we can't all be Wen Qing," he laughs a little to himself, and feels the pull of guilt down at the bottom of his stomach. She's gone, says his chest. Sixteen years gone. And - that's enough time to be fine, says his head. 
Lan Zhan doesn't reply. 
"I will tear this room apart, Lan Zh-" 
"It is against the rules." 
"What, to have needle and thread?" 
"To stitch the wound." 
None of this adds up in the slightest. Wei Wuxian falls into sitting beside Lan Zhan so that he's facing him, leaning his weight on his hands. 
And, not that he expected otherwise, but Lan Zhan does not look at him. 
"Why -" 
Lan Zhan lets out a breath, as close to a frustrated sigh as he has likely ever been. 
"You have to know I'll keep asking, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian grins, shifting so that he can knock his shoulder into Lan Zhan's. "Just tell me." 
"It is a punishment," says Lan Zhan. "The lesson has not been learnt, so the wound will not heal." 
Wei Wuxian feels all traces of mirth vanish from his face. 
"You mean," he swallows. "The section of the rules that I once asked about - the one that Zewu Jun assured me was about an outdated practice that hadn't been used for seventy years?" 
A moment's silence. Then - 
"Mn." 
"What could you have possibly done - what could you still be -" he's incredulous, disbelieving, but the answer dawns on him before he finishes the sentence. "Oh." He exhales all of the energy, lets his anger become cold and sharp, a means to an end - a flavour of fury that feels, perhaps thankfully, a little less easy than it had been in the last life - but he still knows it well. "It's me, isn't it?" 
Lan Zhan's eyes open, falling on Wei Wuxian, softened with worry, creased with pain, and yet truthful in silence. 
"Lan Zhan, I can't -" 
"Stay," Lan Zhan says - pleads. "My body will adjust." 
Already, Wei Wuxian is shaking his head. "How can I -" 
"I lost you, before," Lan Zhan says, voice shaking, strangled, almost inaudible. "It would hurt more - to lose you again." 
It softens Wei Wuxian's anger, and yet fuels it. "Lan Zhan." 
And yet, he knows where his talents lie. In mischief and craft, in deviance and trick. 
"I'll make you a deal," he says, and though Lan Zhan's eyes have fallen shut again, there's a shift to his brow, a worry and a resignation. "I'll stay. If - you let me stitch you up." 
Lan Zhan swallows. "It is against the rules," he says weakly. 
One side of Wei Wuxian's mouth pulls up in disgust. "If you think I ever cared about that, you have the wrong measure of me." 
He's awarded with the barest hint of a smile,but still no agreement. Coming to a decision, Wei Wuxian reaches into his robes for a blank talisman, and without casting anything onto it, he places it down on Lan Zhan's lap. 
"Hostage situation," he smiles. "Freeze talisman. Lan Zhan, whatever will you do?" 
Lan Zhan opens his eyes to glance down. "Wei Ying," he says. "This is blank." 
"Mm, pretty sure you can't move, actually, so," Wei Wuxian tails off with a mischievous shrug. "Needle and thread? Or should I go?" 
“Don’t go,” is the response, so quiet and desolate that Wei Wuxian almost caves - but this is for Lan Zhan’s own good. “The drawer behind the screen.”
Wei Wuxian smiles, hand to Lan Zhan’s forearm in thanks as he stands. 
True to the request, Lan Zhan stays exactly as he is while Wei Wuxian digs around for everything he needs; needle and thread; a basin of water and cloth; bandages, too. He returns to kneel carefully behind Lan Zhan, and hesitates with his hand a finger’s breadth above his shoulder.
“Lan Zhan - can I -” He finds the edge of the robe with his fingers, brushing the skin of his neck.
There’s an almost imperceptible nod - and - a shudder? -as Lan Zhan reaches for the tie of his robes, and loosens it, enough to shrug the robe off his shoulder down to pool at his waist. Half-dried blood sticks the fabric of his undershirt to the wound, and Wei Wuxian tries not to wince along with Lan Zhan as he pulls just a little too roughly, murmuring an apology. 
It’s not that he’s ever seen blood before, of course not - but it’s been a long time since he’s seen Lan Zhan in any pain, and it does not get any easier.
“Lan Zhan,” he keeps his voice low as if the volume will also cause pain, and lifts a damp cloth to the site of the wound, to ease the pull. “I know you said - you want me to stay - but -” He finally manages to tug the shirt away, exposing the wound for how deep it truly goes. “I’m not worth this.”
“You are.” It’s a tone that allows no arguments, a certainty that allows no doubt. All Wei Wuxian can do is believe it. Or - well - leave his rebuttal unsaid.
He shakes his head, for himself, since Lan Zhan won’t see it, and sets about cleaning the wound. The flow of blood is steady - not lethal, of course it couldn’t be, if a lesson is supposed to be learnt by the end, but it is enough that, no sooner than Wei Wuxian has wiped it away, more has taken its place, and soon enough he’s left with a blood-soaked cloth and a wound that still pours.
His hands have never been steady, but when sewing up his own wounds back in the Burial Mounds (“Just give me the needle, Wen Qing, I can do it myself”) it hadn’t mattered - because the only pain he was dealing with was his own, and he deserved it - he could barely feel it anyway. Here, now, with Lan Zhan soft before him, hands resting on his knees and shaking every time the wound is disturbed, he needs to be strong, stable, careful.
He lifts the needle. “Lan Zhan - it’ll hurt.” 
He thinks, anyway. He thinks it used to hurt.
The only response he gets is a determined hum, the muscles below his fingers tensing. 
“Okay,” he says, and sets to work. As he does, he desperately searches for something to distract Lan Zhan with - every time the needle goes in he tenses - slight enough to be unnoticeable, but clear enough that even Lan Zhan can’t hide it. 
He could joke about it - well, if you won’t let me leave, this is the only option - or he could talk of something else -  but all other subjects have evaded him since he’s been faced with this wound and the second, with the countless other scars, with the bare skin of Lan Zhan’s body, before him, slashed and destroyed for protecting - 
“You didn’t only protect me,” he says quietly, distracting himself enough to run his finger over one of the other scars. “These other scars -” he reaches one unlike the others, threaded through with familiar black filaments. “There was one for each of us?”
Lan Zhan lowers his head, but does not respond. It’s close enough to a nod, and Wei Wuxian mimics the gesture, before returning to the task at hand - his eyes falling on the second wound, barely even bleeding, but unmistakably still open. He tries to fit it in, between everything else he knows - but finds no space for it. “And this one? Was there -”
He cuts himself off before he dares to hope. It will only lead to disappointment.
“It -” Lan Zhan exhales shakily. “It’s - different.”
Wei Wuxian can say nothing to the dismissal, knowing that Lan Zan will say no more, but narrows his eyes.
He’s close to finished, now, and the stitches seem to be holding so far. But - it’s not a permanent solution.
He lifts Lan Zhan's undershirt from the floor, and shakes his head at the bloodstain. 
"Lan Zhan, where do you keep spare clothes?" he asks. "I'm done here, but you can't exactly put this back on." 
"I will -" he starts to stand, but Wei Wuxian catches him by the waist, pulling him back down. 
"Stay still," he instructs. "You're injured." 
He - for some reason, he can't bring himself to let go of Lan Zhan, now, though he shows no signs of moving again. Instead, he keeps his hands where they are, not holding tight - not even holding, just - touching. His Lan Zhan. 
He strokes his hands up and down Lan Zhan's bare skin, testing his limits, his eyes trained carefully on the wound - both to make sure he doesn't disturb, and simultaneously deep in thought about it. Lan Zhan's breath comes unsteady with hands on his skin, but not - if Wei Wuxian is correct - upset. 
"It's been sixteen years," Wei Wuxian says absentmindedly. "And you still think I'm worth this." 
"Yes," Lan Zhan says, with no trace of doubt. "You are." 
Wei Wuxian can't help but let out a huff of laughter, letting his head fall forward to Lan Zhan's uninjured shoulder. "You're so -" he sighs out whatever it was that he was going to say - his mind can't summon the right words anyway. 
With his eyes on his - admittedly imperfect - needlework, he conjures other questions.
“This discipline whip that they used,” he says, letting calculating anger control his thoughts but trying his hardest to keep his voice soft. “Where is it kept?”
He’s almost patient, waiting for Lan Zhan to respond, but when more seconds pass, he prompts “Lan Zhan?”
“Why do you ask?”
As if he doesn’t know. “Any talisman, however complex, can be reversed. Even on a spiritual tool.”
“It is against -”
“If you want me to stay,” replies Wei Wuxian. “Then I have to try.”
For a moment, he wonders if Lan Zhan will refuse him. If he will say, after all, that perhaps he has come to his senses, perhaps the rules are more important - but at long last, he sighs. 
"The storeroom behind the library pavilion. It is guarded during the day, and warded in the night." 
"Good thing I've broken your wards before, then," Wei Wuxian smiles, glancing out at the still bright sky. Later, then. He smiles to himself, and slides his hands forward, pulling Lan Zhan into an embrace - one that he could easily shake off, but doesn’t. In fact, his shoulders, tense as they had been, settle into relaxation, a breath of calm. “I suppose I should get you a shirt.”
Lan Zhan moves his hands to cover Wei Wuxian's, leaning his head back against Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and turning to bury his face into his neck. His eyes are shut - he’s almost smiling.
“Stay,” he murmurs.
Wei Wuxian can't help the quiet laugh that escapes him. "I already said I will, Lan Zhan."
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zimms · 4 years ago
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(yet another ollie/wicks ficlet, but this one got slightly out of hand, clocking in at 1.3k for absolutely no reason, so there’s a line break. this is set during the november of bitty’s sophomore year.)
don’t treat him like a mind reader
It’s mid-November when Ollie and Wicky first notice.
They’re on their weekly coffee date at Annie’s, trading sips of each other’s drinks and proof-reading the other’s most recent paper, when Jack Zimmermann walks through the door. Ollie knows that he should probably be on a first name basis with Jack Zimmermann at this point, considering the fact that he’s their team captain and they’ve been attending the same weekly bonding sessions at the Haus since the beginning of freshman year. 
(However, it’s Jack Zimmermann, and Ollie doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the fact that he knows this guy in real life and that he’s met Bad Bob and he’s playing on the same team as someone that will be a shoe-in for next year’s Calder winner no matter which team he signs for and Ollie is an obnoxious fanboy, and this is why he largely steers clear of Jack Zimmermann, lest he embarrasses himself.)
Anyway, it’s a surprise that Jack Zimmermann is in Annie’s for 2 reasons.
Everyone knows that Jack hates paying money for coffee, when he just drinks it black (because he has no taste) and we have coffee at the Haus, why would I buy some extortionate cup of overly sweet sludge?
He’s just had his history class with Bitty, and everyone knows that Jack immediately goes back to the Haus to make his notes from lectures, because Jack Zimmermann works harder than God.
(Okay, so maybe not everyone knows these things, but Ollie absolutely does because these are crucial details in his plan to avoid Jack Zimmermann at all times.
Well maybe the coffee thing isn’t part of that plan; it’s more the fact that Jack complains loudly about it at Team Breakfast, despite the fact that he is a millionaire with more money than Ollie will ever see and can definitely afford an extortionate cup of overly sweet sludge.)
Ollie flicks Wicky’s forehead where he’s leaning over his most recent Econ essay. “Dude, what’s Jack doing here? Shouldn’t he be back at the Haus, making his obscenely perfect notes?” His eyes tracked Jack’s movements as he ordered two coffees and made his way to a table. “Hold on, is Hockey Robot Jack Zimmermann on a date?”
Wicky frowns at Ollie’s fingers as they come away from his forehead, and runs a hand through his hair. His eyes flick up to Jack’s table. “Nah, he’s probably waiting for Bitty; he’s tutoring him in French this semester.”
As if on cue, Bitty walks through the door, evidently having been challenged by Jack to a run across campus and evidently having lost, despite being the fastest guy on the team. Ollie watches as he grins at Jack and makes his way to the table, not looking at the barista once. 
“Huh,” he mutters, “you were right.”
Wicky’s head snaps up, affronted. “Why do you sound so surprised? I literally saw them here last Tuesday.”
“Why didn’t I know this then? I’m always here with you.”
Wicky rolls his eyes. “Dude, you were at that meeting with your Bio professor; the reason I was here is because I was literally waiting for you. They’d just left by the time you were done discussing carbohydrates or mitochondria or whatever it is you do in Bio.” Ollie grins at him; STEM professors always rub Wicky up the wrong way; it’s a side effect of being forced to go to a science specialist high school when you have no interest in STEM. “Anyway, I’m still trying to work out if they’re doing tutoring or tutoring.”
Ollie furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
Wicky gestures not-so-discreetly at where Bitty and Jack are laughing over their French flashcards. “Look at Bitty; are you seriously telling me that he’s not in love with Jack?”
“No!” Ollie holds up his hands. “You know that I would never deny the fact that the straight boy that Bitty is pining for is Jack, but do you really think that Jack Zimmermann, Hockey Robot isn’t straight?” Ollie watches the aforementioned Hockey Robot grin down at Bitty, eyes softer than Ollie’s ever seen them. “Actually, you know what, Jack Zimmermann isn’t straight. He looks like a fucking movie star out of the 1950s with the way he’s trying to flirt with Bitty over there.”
Wicky stares at him. “That sentence was incomprehensible, but I think I get what you mean.” 
The two of them turn to face Jack and Bitty, as their hands brush together as they each reach for another flashcard. Ollie gapes openly at how Jack Zimmermann’s face flushes red at the contact. “Fuck it, I’m just gonna ask Bitty when we’re at the Haus tonight.”
o0O0o
The rhythm of Beyoncé throbs through the hallway of the Haus and his feet as Ollie knocks on the door of the kitchen. Bitty’s voice struggles to reach over the music as he shouts “Come in!”
Ollie opens the door tentatively and the music goes silent. “Hey, Bitty. I was wondering if I could ask you something?”
“Of course, honey!” Bitty whirls around from where he was faffing next to the oven. “What do you-? What on God’s green Earth are you wearing?” 
Ollie glances down at the orange and white striped outfit that Shitty’s making him wear for his dibs, including fins and a tail. “I honestly don’t know. I think it might have once been a tangential joke that Holster made about Ransom being a coral reef that eventually spiralled into this hell. Wicky’s dressed as Dory if it’s any consolation.”
Bitty removes his oven gloves and places them lovingly on the stove. “It is absolutely no consolation whatsoever, but it is quite entertaining.” His eyes roam up and down Ollie’s body (a move that Ollie would have thought was flirtatious if Bitty hadn’t been quite so in love with Jack Zimmermann) and he giggles in that way that only Bitty can. “Anyway, what did you need?”
A slice of pie appears in front of Ollie on a plate. He doesn’t question it; he’s learnt not to question how baked goods suddenly materialise around Bitty.
“Oh, yeah.” Ollie takes a mouthful of pie. “Me and Wicky were wondering if Jack was like tutoring you in French, like how Wicky tutors me in Philosophy?”
(Ollie and Wicky have long since established that they don’t want to be out to the whole team, so they came up with a code word for date night that they can use with the people that know about their relationship, which is basically just Shitty and Bitty, but whatever.)
Bitty nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, exactly like that!” He takes a bite of his own pie. “He’s such a great tutor; he’s so good at French!”
Ah, that clears that up then.
Ollie grins at Bitty. “You know, if you ever want to discuss tutoring, I’m always willing to listen, and I know Wicky is too.” He stands up, wipes his mouth, and claps Bitty on the back. “Good talk.”
“Oh, was that all you wanted to know?”
“Yeah, I’ve got to get back to reenacting scenes from Finding Nemo. Just keep swimming.”
o0O0o
“Yeah, they’re dating.”
“Oh, thank God, for a second I thought that they were just that oblivious.”
(A year later they get a text from Bitty announcing that he and Jack were dating. 
oily: thanks for letting us know officially bro! we were happy to keep it on the dl til u were ready to come out!
candle: thanks in return for keeping our relationship a secret! we knew that you could keep it a secret!
itsy bitsy baker: how did you guys know about us?? i never told you we were dating??
oily: yh, u did??
itsy bitsy baker: 
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we didn’t get together until the summer after sophmore year??
also, did you guys say you were dating?!?
candle: yeah, we told you at the end of freshman year, bro. you literally caught us making out in your room??
itsy bitsy baker: i-?? what???)
part 1 part 2 part 3
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smutggukk · 4 years ago
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7:00 am
“Ring ring”
letting out an annoyed groan, I sit up on the bed, and glare at the alarm clock, as if it’s an actual person, why? Because why not? (Let’s pump it up 💃 Stan loona)
Lifting up the blanket, I shut off the alarm clock and head to the washroom still half asleep, I do my morning routine and change into a suit.
Grabbing my car keys and work stuff, I head to school, working as a school principal was not really what I expected to work as, but what could I do when I desperately needed a job after getting fired? Thank god for my sister who introduced me to this job and helped me get it. Nonetheless I work hard, besides I’m pretty popular and get talked about a lot, I’m actually the first female principal they’ve had.
Walking into school I look around to see everyone’s eyes on me, some smiling, some waving at me, of course I greet them back, and walk to my office with a giggle, loving the attention, placing my things on the desk, I sit down getting to work.
Time skip; 9:00 am
On a call with my mom, I hear a knock on my office’s door, quickly hanging up, I tell the person to ‘come in’, of course as usual, the ‘bad boy’ of the school walks in with a smirk, “missed me, pretty?” He chuckles sitting down the chair right in front of my desk and spreading his legs wide, I sigh watching his every move “you know jeon, you spend more time in my office than in class, why don’t you just live here?” The sarcastic side in me comes out.
“That’s a great idea, gorgeous, I hope you don’t mind?” He snickers messing with me, “what happened this time? Let me guess, you either replied back to a teacher or didn’t pay attention to class” “Bingo!! Both this time, you guessed right, want a prize?” “I’d rather you start paying attention to your studies, I’m serious” “I’d rather study you” he says with a wink, I couldn’t help but crack a laugh at his remark.
“Don’t you want good grades and stuff? Don’t you wanna grow up and live a good life?” “Of course, but who said I need good grades to live a good life?” “You’re not wrong little guy, but you kinda do?” He scrunches his nose, “little guy?” He lets out a raspy chuckle, kinda turning me on when i shouldn’t be, he continues “- well you see Ms Yn...”
Somehow the way my name rolls of his mouth gives me butterflies, is it bad that I have a tiny crush on him when I shouldn’t?
He leans closer to me, his index and thumb fingers holding onto my chin gently, “I’m not little, I’m pretty big if you’d like to find out?” He sends another wink my way, making me flustered, I get ahold of his wrist and place it down on the desk “I’d rather keep it professional, big guy”
He scoffs out a chuckle making me shake my head, “you didn’t decline the offer though?” He raises his brows, leaving me quite speechless, “hm? Cat got your tongue?” I sigh with a small smile visible on my face “you’re pretty annoying jeon” “but you love it, just admit it” “don’t make me give you detention” “detention with you wouldn’t be so bad, so ill gladly take the offer”
This guy just never stops, “what am I gonna do with you” I rub my temple, “pfft, am I that annoying?” “Yes actually, I would even quit my job to not see your face” he nods and looks away, did i go too far? “Wait no, I didn’t-“ “I understand, ill head back to class” he stands up, leaving before I could say anything.
Shit, why the hell did I even say that? I should apologize when school ends, i’ve never felt this way for a person before, I’ll just check what’s his last class on my computer and check on him.
Time skip; after school
Packing my things, I quickly get up from my seat, grabbing the keys to my office and locking it, running to jungkooks last class which is chemistry, knocking on the door, I slowly open it, to be seen with just a couple of students including jungkook.
Looking around I see no teacher, the class ended quick I guess, seeing jungkook walk pass me but I stop him, “wait jungkook!” He turns around and stares at me with an expressionless face, making me gulp.
“Could u come to my office please? I would like to have a talk with you and apologize..” he shrugs “I don’t know” “please? It’ll be quick? Some students are finding us suspicious so come on” thankfully he follows me and crosses his arms.
“What is it Ms Yn?” He says bored, “look jungkook, I’m really s-“ “save it” he goes to leave but I quickly hug his back, making him tense up, “I didn’t mean it... I don’t know... why I even said that..” I whisper against his toned back “Ms Yn-“ “no jungkook, I’m deeply sorry for saying that, I’m not sure why I said that, when I didn’t mean it..” a tear trickles down my cheeks for some unknown reason, maybe because I’m afraid he’ll just ignore me.
He feels his back dampen up and turns around hugging me back, he rests his head on my shoulder taking in my scent, “it’s okay, I forgive you, don’t cry..” he mumbles, and kisses my shoulder making me feel nothing but a whole zoo in my tummy.
“I’m sorry..” I sniffle, as he smiles facing me, he kisses my tears away making me widen my eyes, “i told you it’s okay, you’re forgiven pretty lady” even after all that he manages to flirt, this time I decided to flirt back surprisingly.
“Thank you, handsome” I giggle shyly and hide my face in his fit chest, he smiles at my shy state and ruffles my hair, “great job princess, you did amazing, don’t be shy” “learnt from the best” I wink at him and blush immensely.
He stares at my eyes, as he slowly trails his stare to my lips, knowing what’s gonna happen I let it be, maybe because I want him just as much as he wants me, within a blink of an eye, his lips connect like mine, as if they were made for eachother.
I pull onto his collar, wanting nothing but him, his hands make their way to my ass and give them a little squeeze making me smile into the heated kiss, one of his hand remains on my ass as the other travels back up to the back of my head and pushes me closer causing our bodies to crash on each other.
He lifts me up with the help of my thighs, and walks over to the couch, careful not to trip over, before we could continue any further, I pull away taking a deep breath, “w-wait jungkook..” “what is it? Are you uncomfortable? I’ll stop if you want, we don’t have to-“ “jungkook no no.. it’s not that, I wanna continue.. but the door is unlocked and someone could walk in on us” “oh right.. I didn’t think of that”
“Where’s the keys?” He asks, “it’s on the desk, right beside my bag” he walks over to the desk, still managing to carry me, quickly locking the door he doesn’t hesitate before kissing me hungrily, and places me on the couch not breaking our kiss, feeling his hand run through my hair before pulling it back making me pull away from the kiss panting heavily.
Kissing my jaw, he creates hickey all around my neck and collarbone, making me moan out from the feeling, while one of his hands is still pulling my hair back the other squeezes my hips before dragging it higher, playing with my clothed nipple, making me gasp, “oh.. jungkook..” I moan delighted, “babygirl .. it’s daddy, understand?” He squeezes my sensitive nipple tip, making me let out a curse, “y-yes daddy..”
He chuckles feeling loving the feeling of being in control, after many hickeys, he pulls away, making me whine, I watch him stand up, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, with his strong gaze on me, I watch his veiny hand pull off his shirt, oh how bad I want him in me, “daddy..” I mutter loud enough, “what is it princess?” My mouth waters, looking at his well built figure before looking up into his lusty eyes, “I want you.. so bad, please..” “strip for me.”
I widen my eyes yet still obey him, I take off my suit jacket somewhere in the room, my hand comes in contact with the first button, slowly removing it as my eyes never leaves his gaze, throwing the shirt away along with the suit pants, I’m left with my undergarments, he crouches down facing my chest, he looks up at me and smirks “should daddy help with your bra and panties?” “Yes, please” “gladly”
Removing your bra he kisses your soft skin, his tongue proceeds to move lower and lower til he’s sucking on my boob, making me throw my head back, “oh sh*t jungkook...!” I get ahold of his hair and pull on it unconsciously, “mmhm” he hums on my boob making me moan out a half scream (?) with last peck, and a kitty lick on my nipple making me let out a shaky breath.
“F*ck, I need you right now” he pushes me onto the couch, taking over, while sucking on my lower lip, he completely removes his pants and boxers, along with my panties, he bites my lip and pulls on it before his finger swipes against my folds, making me whimper underneath him.
His finger coated with my wet juices, making him lick his lips, “hm, seems like someone is already leaking wet for daddy.. hm?” I nod at his words as my hand which is placed on his shoulder, slowly moves downwards, tracing his abs before it gets ahold of his rock hard c*ck making him gasp quietly in satisfaction, I slowly knead it making him hum and close his eyes, smirking my thumb caresses his tip making him open his eyes and glare at me, “don’t tease me p-princess.”
His hoarse voice sends shivers and goosebumps along my skin, making me smile in innocence, “who said I’m teasing you?” He chuckles before spreading my legs, entering me making me open my mouth wide, exhaling as I grip onto his biceps at how thick and long he is, “j-jungkook..” he nods and stays still letting me adjust to his size.
“Tell me when you’re ready..” he lays his forehead against mine as my heart melts at his caring side, few minutes pass by as I slowly kiss his lips, wrapping my legs around his waist, I gently push him down, as he gets the hint, and rolls his hips against me, moaning into the kiss he smirks and thrusts into me, leaving me a mess, moans and skin slapping echoing around.
“Mmm.. f*ck, so damn tight” “ahhh.. jungkook, f-faster..” he pulls out making me open my eyes confused, “it’s daddy for you, brat” thrusting back in he gets ahold of my hips and f*cks me at an animalistic pace making me let out tears of nothing but pleasure, feeling entirely stretched out, I feel something in my stomach indicating I’m close.
Not being able to even utter a single word, I clench around him making him groan, “ughmmm... shit, do that again for me, baby” I clench around his nonstop making him throw his head back, “are you close baby?” He asks panting, I nod, “let’s cum together, in a count of three”
Letting out a growl he quickly pulls out before cumming on my stomach, collapsing on top of me, careful not to squish me, he hides his face in my neck, and leaves pecks there, “are you okay, babe?” Managing to open my eyes a little, looking to the side to be met with an ethereal looking jungkook, making me smile, “that was amazing..” I whisper against his lips.
He smiles, “I’m glad” pulling me in for a kiss I enjoy the feeling of his soft lips against mine, pulling away he stares at me lovingly “would you like to come over to my house?.. maybe to cuddle too!” I ask, He smiles at my excited state and nods, “of course, and yes we’ll cuddle for as long as you like” “I can’t wait, now let’s get up, I want to take a shower so bad” “alright”
Getting up we both get dressed up and are about to head out before I notice something which makes my heart drop, “jungkook...” “yes baby?”
gulping, I look at the camera in the corner which just recorded the both of us having s*x, I’ll lose my job but most importantly jungkook will be suspended forever, jungkook notices my stare on something and follows my gaze, he notices the camera and widens his eyes, “jungkook what the hell do we do?! They can check the recording and-“ “princess, it’s okay-“ “how is it okay Jungkook?!” “I can-“ “you’ll get suspended for f*cks sake!” “Princess! Listen! Oh my god”
He chuckles “jeon this is not funny whatsoever-“ he kisses me to shut me up, nonetheless I kiss back not being able to refuse his kisses, “u done?” He says making me glare at him, “listen this isn’t anything new, I can delete the footage” “really?” “Yes, yes I can, and I’ll do it now, so we don’t have to worry” I sigh in relief, “thank god” “now let’s go?” “Yes! I wanna cuddle so bad!” He chuckles, and round 2 may or may not have happened later-
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emiefaunwrites · 4 years ago
Note
Cause we are horrible people would you be able to write a close call for Leon? It's OK if you need time to think of it!
Hey anon!
A part of me was waiting for this ask and so I've been thinking about what things happen. And as your ask came through...well, by jove I got one!
So yes, anon. I will indugle in a little meanness and give you a close call for Leon. Trigger warnings for accidents and injury underneath so please don't read if that upsets you.
Thanks for the ask! Hope you enjoyyyy!
*********************
• Leon is a major clutz.
• He's constantly knocking things over, tripping over his own feet and has absolutely terrible balance (which is a big surprise considering the one-legged contortions he twists into when pitching!)
• But that doesn't stop him enjoying life!
• He won't let his clutzy tendencies stop him from doing the things he enjoys, even if it has resulted in some majorly embarrassing scenarios.
• So he's learnt to brush things off with humour.
• He knocks something over? 'Looks better that way anyway.'
• He trips over something? 'Shouldn't have been having a nap where I was walking!'
• He loses his balance? 'Practicing my dance moves.'
• He always has a witty response for whatever happens.
• But one day, his clutziness nearly costs him dearly.
• He and Kei are practicing baseball techniques in the garden while Taka's out one day.
• He's taught her how to swing and though she doesn't have his strength, the girl hits hard.
• He's had to climb into bushes, run into the neighbours gardens, even had to run across the street to get the ball.
• And this time, it's landed on the roof.
• Now Leon's been banned from ladders ever since he wobbled one year while putting the Christmas Tree up.
• But Taka won't be back for another hour, and Kei's really seeming to be into this today.
• What other way will he get the ball down?
• 'Okay, sweet pea. Stay there alright? Daddy'll get the ball down.'
• He heads into the garage to grab the ladder that Mondo left behind when he was helping clear out the gutters a few months back.
• Looking back up to where the ball has landed, it's in the most awkward groove ever and won't be easy to reach.
• And now he's looking up, he realises how high a two-storey building is and his stomach turns.
• Maybe he should wait. Taka will be back soon and he's fine with heights and ladders and...
• 'Fank you, Daddy!'
• Ahhhh, he can't let his little girl down! And with a steely determination, he lines the ladder up and starts to climb.
• 'Just don't look down. Don't look down.'
• Slowly and steadily, he makes his way up the ladder and when he reaches the top, he needs to take a few deep, grounding breaths.
• Goddamn it, it's REALLY not going to be easy to get!
• Reaching out, he can't quite make it and so has to lean out quite procariously.
• His fingers brush against the ball, nearly there, nearly there...
• And then it pops out of the guttering and drops onto the ground.
• With a relieved sigh, Leon goes to move back to grab the ladder...
• But Leon Kuwata has terrible balance.
• Taka's at work, giving a presentation to an important group of people when his phone rings.
• Apologising profusely, he goes to look and see its the house phone.
• Odd. Leon normally calls on his mobile.
• Something compels him to answer the phone, beginning to scold his husband for interrupting him at work...
• 'P-papa?'
• Kei? Why is SHE calling? And why is she crying?
• 'What's the matter, darling? Where's Daddy?'
• 'D-daddy f-f-fell. He n-no wake u-up.'
• Oh my god oh my god oh my god WHAT'S HAPPENED?
• 'Tell me what happened, Kei.'
• 'I h-hit ball on r-r-roof and Daddy g-get. He f-f-fall down and...and h-hit his h-head. There's r-r-red paint e-e-everwhere and D-D-Daddy no w-wake u-up.'
• No no no no no what was Leon THINKING?! And now he's...he's...
• No. He can't panic. He needs to get home...
• No that'll be too late. Who knows how long Leon's been out for. He has to get to the hospital and...
• 'Kei, remember what Papa taught you? What you do if you ever get in trouble?'
• 'Y-y-yeah...'
• 'I need you to do that okay, darling? I need you to do exactly what I taught you and tell the nice man or lady what happened.'
• 'O-okay.'
• 'Good girl. Do it now, okay? Papa'll see you soon.'
• He gives no apologies as he flies out of the room, shouting at the receptionist to call Mondo and send him straight to the house.
• He isn't one for speeding but Taka definitely drives faster than normal, heading to the nearest hospital to wait for them to arrive.
• He's there twenty mintues before he sees the doctors wheeling Leon through, Mondo and Kei following behind.
• The wait during the surgery is agony - Taka having to distract himself by asking the nurses if he can borrow a shower to clean the blood out of his daughter's hair.
• Poor Kei is terrified, not saying a word as her Papa cleans her up and changes her clothes, holding onto him for dear life as they go back to the waiting room.
• And eventually, the surgeon comes out to explain there was a fracture in Leon's skull that resulted in a lot of swelling - but the surgery was a success and he'll be alright.
• Taka's allowed to go see him when he wakes up, asking Mondo to look after Kei for a little bit.
• And as he walks in to see his groggy husband blinking at him from one of the beds, head in a bandage, Taka finally loses it.
• 'YOU IDIOT! I TOLD you not to climb ladders! Why don't you ever LISTEN?! D'you know how frightened I was?! How frightened KEI was?! What the HELL were you thinking?!'
• Leon's too groggy to respond, face scrunched up as he tries to focus through the many drugs he's on for the pain.
• 'You could have DIED, Leon! You could have died RIGHT THERE! Right in front of our little girl! How could you be so STUPID?! How could you...how...how...'
• All at once Taka's rage ebbs away at the guilty look on his husband's face, replaced with sobs as he drops to his knees at the bedside.
• 'I could have lost you! You could have...oh God, Leon, I can't lose you! I can't...I can't...'
• Leon can't do too much, still very much out of it, but he can see how much his husband is hurting. And its all his fault.
• So with a grunt, he lifts a heavy arm to brush away the tears, cups Taka's face and says:
• 'Can't have hurt...as much as...when you...fell from...heaven.'
• The comment catches Taka completely on guard, the small strained smile on Leon's lips like a breath of fresh air.
• He can't help but laugh, relief making him dizzy as he clasps Leon's fingers in his own.
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rosy-wooyoung · 5 years ago
Text
He needs someone | Park Seonghwa
Words count: 3.3k whoops Pairing: kindergarten teacher! reader x police officer!, single dad! Seonghwa Genre: F L U F F and a squint of angst once A/N: I tried my best, it’s a concept I had in mind for a while and I’m glad I managed to write something :’) I’m sorry in advance if you notice mistakes, English isn’t my first language but at least I tried, right? The gif isn’t mine as usual, all the credits go to the talented creator :)
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The first day of the week was coming to an end and you were happy. You loved your job, really, it was a real pleasure to get up in the morning and take care of adorable children your students. They were nice, polite, you had to raise your voice from time to time for the order to come back, but it was rare. However, the past few days were more of a chore than a pleasure, because you were worried about one student in particular. His name was Haneul. He was a 5-year old boy full of energy, kindness and the politest of all your students. Already at his age, he was altruistic, always ready to play with others or help you tidy up things that weren't necessarily his. Despite his good attitude and politeness, you noticed that he was missing something, but you couldn't put your finger on it. Until one afternoon, when you left school, it struck you.
He was one of the few students who didn't have two parents. Yes, some had two mothers or two dads, or their divorced parents came to pick them up each in turn, but for Haneul, everything seemed different. It was always his father who came to pick him up or his grandmother, but it was very rare. You were beginning to question yourself, wondering if Haneul had a mother or other relative that took care of him except for his father. Perhaps his mother was seriously ill, or even dead. You had noticed several times where Haneul was in a bad mood, especially when you asked your students what they had done during the weekend. It was a ritual that you did every Monday morning and many children were talking about their parents. Haneul was always silent during these kinds of moments. Unable to give special treatment, you also asked him questions, especially about the toy cars he loved to take to school, and you tried to get him to talk about his father most of the time. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable or cry in front of the other students, so you carefully avoided the mom's subject.
You were in the school playground, chatting with another teacher to look after the children who were waiting for their parents. It was rush hour, everyone was out of work and the traffic was very heavy, which caused most of the delays for parents. When you noticed Haneul’s father, you excused yourself to your colleague, took the boy’s little hand and walked towards the man. You couldn't lie, his father is a charismatic man. Whenever he entered the yard, single mothers - and sometimes even some married women, in the presence of their husbands - stared at him. He exuded a certain class and a form of serenity which reassured everyone. Maybe it was his uniform that provided that kind of emotion. Yes, his father was a policeman. You have seen him repeatedly patrolling the city or your neighbourhood, even sometimes waiting for his son in his car. At first glance, his life seemed to be devoted to bringing order within the city, but really, it revolved solely around his son. His serious and distant mask fell every time his son ran into his arms or showed him a craft he did in class. He was also one of the few parents who wrote you a kind note for Christmas to thank you for your hard work and it touched you.
When you reached Haneul's father with him, a veil of concern crossed the eyes of the man standing in front of you. He seemed worried and had walked much less assuredly than the other times that you had seen him. "Good evening ma'am. Thanks for calling me. Has Haneul not behaved well?" He questioned as his son, oblivious to the situation, jumped into his arms, kissing his dad’s cheek. "No, your son is a remarkable little boy, full of goodwill and very polite, but there is a delicate subject that concerns him which I would like to talk with you if you would like." The policeman looked at his son and put him on the ground before nodding. "Haneul," he said, crouching down next to his son, "will you play with your friends for a while? I need to speak with your teacher for a few minutes, it won't be long, okay?" Haneul nodded without hesitation and left to replay with his friends, running towards them. "I'm listening," his voice was hesitant, but he tried to keep a neutral expression. "First, I want to tell you that you don't have to answer or take into account what I'm going to tell you, and this is by no means a psychological diagnosis, just an observation me, his teacher." He nodded, a sign for you to continue. "Well, I have a tradition every Monday morning of asking certain students to tell us about their weekend, it's mainly to encourage them to speak in front of others, but the more this discussion advances in the morning, the more I see your child withdrawing into himself, sometimes he's even on the verge of tears when one of his classmates mentions their mother."
The policeman didn't seem shocked by your statement, but your words didn't leave him indifferent. He said nothing but looked behind you, carefully avoiding your gaze. "I don't want to interfere in your private life, but I have always wondered if Haneul had another parental figure beside you because he looks like he wants one…" He sighed as your voice trailed. "But aside from this little detail, Haneul is a golden child, he's always ready to stop arguments or help me tidy up, his education is remarkable, it's also something I wanted to tell you." You were trying to save yourself from embarrassment, given his lack of reaction, and his smile returned when you complimented his son, but it was not as warm as usual. You knew that you had touched a sensitive point and you had decided to cut short the discussion to not make it more uncomfortable. He already seemed pained enough like that, so you motioned for Haneul to come back to his father. "I'm sorry officer, but I have a few more things to do in class, I wish you a very good evening." You smiled at him and he greeted you with a brief whim and an almost inaudible "thank you".
By putting away the last chairs, you deeply regretted your words. It was none of your business, but Haneul's situation gave your heart a twinge. You were thinking of a softer way to approach the subject again, but you could not find any other solution. You didn't sleep much that night, bitterly regretting the discussion.
What did you have to pry in things that were none of your business?
The two days following this discussion were painful because the policeman did not come to pick up Haneul, it was his grandmother. You were almost ready to ask Haneul for his address to go and apologize to his father. Thursday afternoon was finally the day he decided to reappear. When you saw him again, you rushed inside, leaving your colleague alone in the school playground. You pretended to put the tables and chairs back in their place if he looked through the windows. Wanting to give him enough time to leave, you filled the kettle with water and heated it on its base. "Can I speak to you?" A throat clears which startled you, almost making you drop the kettle. You turned around and found the policeman in the doorway. He was not wearing his uniform, but his aura of authority and confidence was still there. "Yes, but I-" "No, don't apologize." "Please, let me. I wanted to apologize, I got involved in things that were none of my business. I was so mad at myself that I haven't slept well for the last few days." "Yes, Haneul told me you weren't as energetic as usual, but don't worry about me. Your words had the effect of a cold shower and I believe it was necessary." He said with a soft smile, scratching the back of his neck. You nodded, gesturing him to take your chair as you sat on one of the tables, keeping a reasonable distance. "I thought my mother and I would be enough for Haneul's education. His... well, his mother left us when he was two years old. When we learnt that we were expecting a baby, we made an agreement together. I promised to reduce my time at work to take care of her and Haneul. However, nothing went according to plan and I ended up working almost twice more. I was terrified that I would not have enough money to support them and because I didn't keep my promise to my girlfriend, she left. I thought she was going to get away with the situation because she was very independent, but it was only after she left me that I realized that she needed me." He paused, allowing you to let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "After your statement, I said to myself that I should try to get her back, even if the two of us wasn't going to work, we could at least try for Haneul, but it's too late. I saw her in the store where I regularly grocery shop. She was with another man and she seemed much happier and more radiant than when she was with me. I simply greeted her, but I couldn't see myself begging her to come back in front of her new boyfriend. I know I fucked up and I regret it now, but I don't know what else I can do." You got up and turned off the kettle, pouring the hot liquid into two cups. You handed him one and leaned against your desk. "I understand that you are in a difficult situation, but now it's too late to get your ex back, that is clear. She moved on but it’s human, you also did it by busying yourself at work, according to what you're telling me. She is certainly mad at you and that is normal, I also understand her reaction, but you must start looking elsewhere, or even around you." "I talked to Haneul about it, and he admitted he missed having a mom. But you know, there aren't many people out there who want to go out with a policeman, so if he also has a child, it's complicated. And I assure you, I tried, I really tried, but they all left as soon as I mentioned my son. Selfishly, I prefer that Haneul does not have a mother rather than having one who does not love him. I need someone who loves me and him." "I understand, he is a part of you. You know, it was just a statement, I never ordered you to look for someone, you must not misunderstand my words. If you feel that you and your mother are enough for the education of your son, then you must follow your gut. But I remain in my position that your little one needs a maternal figure. Otherwise, growing up, he will no longer distinguish his mother from his grandmother, since it will be the same figure, you see?" The discussion was coming to an end, but the officer didn't seem to ready to leave. His gaze was lost into the void and he sipped on his tea. Suddenly, he regained his senses, gulped the remaining of his cup and put it in the sink. He smiled at you and held out his hand for you to squeeze. "My name is Park Seonghwa. Officer Park Seonghwa. And thank you for being so kind to my son, he loves you and it's nice not having to fight to get him out of bed." You blushed at his compliments and squeezed his hand, his grip not as hard as you thought it was going to be. It was firm but had nothing dominant or aggressive. "Y/L/N Y/N, I'm glad your son is having fun coming here, I'm trying to do everything for it. " "And... thank you for listening to me, because you really didn't have to. I think I needed to tell someone neutral. You know, parents are never very objective,” he said, not letting go of your hand. "I'm glad to have helped you, officer... And again, sorry for my mistake, I was just worried about Haneul." "This is a closed matter now, Y/N, don't worry about it anymore. Have a safe trip back home. Good night." You smiled at him and saw him leave with Haneul. Through the window, he greeted you with a wave which you answered with a slight smile.
The weekend had finally arrived, and you wanted to go for a walk in the park. The heat of May allowed you to go out only wearing a big sweater above your casual dress, a light scarf protecting your throat from the light wind. You sat on a bench and took out a book, adjusting your sunglasses and crossing your legs. Later, a group of eight adults with a child settled under the weeping willow, located a few meters from you, in the grass. Your vision wasn't the best, you squinted because you seemed to recognize Haneul. He also seemed to have recognized you because he pulled the sleeve of a man you immediately acknowledged: Seonghwa. He looked up and smiled at you, his son pulling him in your direction. You put your book down and watched, amused by the situation. The rest of the group was looking either at the father or you, which made you bright red. Seonghwa crouched and whispered something in his son's ear. A smile lit up his face and sprinted towards your bench.
"Hi Haneul, how are you?" "Hello, Teacher! I’m okay!! You are alone?" He asked, tilting his small head. "Yes, I'm enjoying the nice weather." "Daddy would like to know if you want to come and join us..." You smiled at the kid and looked up at Seonghwa. He had a tender smile on his face and Haneul pulled you from your seat by grabbing your hand. You laughed and gathered your things, Haneul running to his father.
Seonghwa greeted you and introduced you to the rest of the group, his colleagues. You weren't sure how to behave since they represented the law, but they were all lovely with you. Some asked you questions about your job and Haneul, including a man named Hongjoong, who you learnt was Haneul's godfather, who seemed fascinated by your work. Another colleague, Mingi, was very interested since his sister also worked as a teacher, but in their hometown. The rest of the day went by without problems, the group of police officers quickly put you at ease, abandoning the formalities. Clouds had formed and began to hide the sun, abruptly ending this wonderful day. When Wooyoung felt the first drops of water fall on his skin, you all hurried to pack up and take refuge in their cars. Haneul hadn't followed his father, he had run with Yunho in his car. You were soaking from head to toe, your sweater nowhere to be seen, your dress sticking to your body. You just hoped that your underwear was not showing through the wet material.
"You're beautiful." Seonghwa's deep voice rang out in the car and made you faced him. His hair fell in front of his face, droplets soaking his white t-shirt. Unlike his uniform, it gave you a good overview of his shoulders and his muscular torso. His eyes never left you, something had changed in them. You smiled, a bit embarrassed, watching the rain trickle down the windows, suddenly being very hot. A hand grabbed your chin and your face was now very close to Seonghwa's, his eyes lost in yours. Your heart was pounding, you were sure he could hear it, but you couldn't look beyond his beautiful eyes. Not when you had such a handsome officer in front of you. "May I?" He whispered, almost out of breath, his gaze moving back and forth between your eyes and your mouth. His expression was very intense, you could only accept. When his lips met yours, the tension in your shoulders disappeared and fireworks exploded in your stomach. You responded to the kiss immediately, surprising yourself, but it was too hard to resist. His lips were as soft as if you were kissing a chocolate coulis. The kiss was warm, intense, but filled with tenderness.
To your great disappointment, this tender exchange was shortened by someone knocking on Seonghwa's window. Yunho was there, an amused smile on his lips. You stopped the kiss, quickly pulling you away from Seonghwa's arms. You hadn't even realized in the kiss that he had embraced you, pressing you even more against him. You tried to catch your breath and Seonghwa lowered the window, embarrassed to have been surprised by his colleague. "Am I disturbing something?" Yunho said, refraining from laughing. "What do you want?" Seonghwa dryly replied, not amused by the situation at all. "I'm coming to bring your son back to you, I think he was in the wrong car. But to see what you were doing; I think I'll bring it back to me." "Shut up and bring him up to the back,” Seonghwa ordered. You had found back the police officer, strict and distant, as when he came to pick up his son.
When Yunho had fastened Haneul’s seatbelt and closed the car door, Seonghwa started the car and brought you home without saying a word, just a few glances exchanged on the way as well as apologetic smiles. When your resident building came into your range of vision, disappointment stung your heart. "Thanks for driving me back." You muttered, unsure how to behave with the little one in the back. "No problem." Seonghwa smiled, glancing into the rear-view mirror. Haneul was soundly sleeping and the policeman seized this chance to quickly connect your lips. "Ha! I knew it! Daddy loves Teacher Y/N!" Haneul's frail voice rang out in the car, scaring you both. You hurried out of the car and Seonghwa mouthed you to call him later. You entered the hall without turning around and you heard the car leave. "Daddy, do you like Teacher Y/N?" "Yes, kind of. " "Does that mean she's going to be my mom?" "Only if you want it." Seonghwa watched his son's reaction as the car came to a red light. The child had a neutral face, but he suddenly smiled with all his teeth and looked at his father in the rear-view mirror. "Yes!"
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kim-ruzek · 4 years ago
Text
Girl Code Duty
Summary: Fix-it for 3x20. Sylvie stops Kim making the bad decision to sleep with Roman.
Warnings: Sean Roman bashing.
Word Count: 3.4k
Read on AO3
Notes: This is the quickest I've wrote a fic in so long and I loved every second of it. This was basically just written as an excuse to Roman bash, and I like fixing things so that Kim never slept with him. I'm just sad I had to acknowledge that my girl Sylvie also had.
Also, a thank you to @justanoffalygirl because one) this fic idea was created when talking to them, and two) for letting me steal a line from their fic.
Sylvie sits at the counter at Molly’s by herself, quietly drinking her beer. It’s one of those nights at the bar, where it’s full—not full-full, that it was loud and overwhelming, but enough that you could sit alone in the crowd peacefully unnoticed—but not that much by fifty-one, or really with their friends from the twenty-first or Chicago med.
It had been a quiet few days. Her shift—which ended that morning—was an uneventful one, nothing too straining happening the whole shift. Those shifts can be hit and miss, for Sylvie. On one hand, they’re a breath of fresh air, a welcome break from the chaos that comes with her work, but in the other hand, they tire her in a whole different way to a chaotic shift.
Sylvie’s born to be a paramedic, and she truly thrives in the situations the profession demands of her, and the days where she does nothing but sit around itches her feet, tiring her with boredom.
And of course she’s still mentally exhausted by all the drama that went down with Chilli.
Sylvie had a rather uneventful day even after the shift. A day spent watching home renovation shows, which though entertaining, just made her even more itchy to do something. And all that did was make Sylvie realise she’s gotten herself into a really boring rut recently.
So in the evening, she found herself at Molly’s.
She had gone thinking at least she’ll get some excitement hanging with her co-workers and friends. Otis isn’t on shift today, but Gabby and Herrmann are and it’s always exciting around them. But the punters are keeping them rather occupied, and the rest of the bar is rather empty of friends.he had gone thinking at least she’ll get some excitement hanging with her co-workers and friends. Otis isn’t on shift today, but Gabby and Herrmann are and it’s always exciting around them. But the punters are keeping them rather occupied, and the rest of the bar is rather empty of friends.
It’s okay, though, she finds herself thinking, enjoying the beer and the peacefulness of just among the crowd. The perks of drinking at a bar, with none of the anxious worries of perverts or being in danger; not with this being a firefighter run bar.
“Herrmann! Another beer, please?” Sylvie’s attention is drawn to where Kim Burgess sits, at a table not too far away from the bar. Her voice is a few octaves louder than it normally is, and Sylvie wonders how many beers she’s had. Having gotten drunk with Kim before, Sylvie would think at least a few.
Kim had been Molly’s when she had came in herself, and Sylvie had not been surprised having heard from Gabby the events that pd and med was focused on today. No one could say they didn’t have a quiet day.
Sylvie briefly had considered going over, but Kim had been sitting with Sean Roman and Natalie Manning, the three looking as if they were processing the day’s events together. Knowing how important those decompressing moments are in their line of work, especially decompressing with those you were ‘in the trenches’ with, as it were, Sylvie had decided against it.
And up until now, Sylvie had forgotten all about them.
In the time between Sylvie getting here, and this moment, Natalie had left, just leaving Kim and Sean remaining, and there is a couple of empty beer bottles on the table.
Sylvie watches them for a few minutes. She’s aware that it’s rude to stare—her mother’s words to her when she was a young girl echoing in her mind—and that she should either look away or go over to them, but something, right at the back of her head, niggles at her, telling her to watch. And as a trained paramedic, Sylvie has learnt to listen to those feelings.
Kim is drunk, that Sylvie could see. Not so much that Herrmann should cut her off, but definitely slightly more than her usual preferred tipsy. Sean is also buzzed, which makes sense depending the case they had. They’re sitting very close to each other, very much in each other’s space, and they’re clearly having a good time as they’re laughing. Kim’s hand keeps touching Sean’s shoulder, a touch he’s very much returning at every given moment.
Yet again, this makes sense; Kim gets super affectionate the more drunk she gets.
But at the same time, Sylvie understands that isn’t Kim’s usual affectionate touch and it dawns on Sylvie why her friend senses have been activated. Sylvie isn’t watching her friend get drunk after a tough day: she’s watching her friend considering making a very stupid, drunken mistake.
Kim is considering sleeping with Sean.
Or, she should say, Kim’s considering letting Sean fuck her, quickly, because Sylvie’s own experience very much told her that there’s no way that man knows the woman is also meant to be satisfied. And what a glow down that would be for her, as from what Kim’s told her drunkenly before, Adam is very good in that area.
No, Sylvie thinks to herself. There’s no way her girl code can allow Kim to have such disappointing dick. It’s a bad decision for Kim to have her post-engagement rebound like this anyway, and even if that wasn’t enough for Sylvie to interfere, she couldn’t in good consciousness subject her friend to that.
Every time Sylvie looks at Sean and remembers that night, all she can think is how she wished someone was able to do that for her.
Sylvie jumps off her stool, walking towards Kim and Sean now stand. It looks like this is their last beer before they’re going to leave, and Sylvie’s glad she spotted them when she did.
“Hello, you two,” Sylvie greets them, inserting herself between the two of them. Cock-blocking her friends to stop them making bad decisions is something she’s rather good at—she’s not just an amazing paramedic who saves people on duty, medically.
A look of irritation passes across Sean’s face, but Kim’s far from annoyed at her sudden presence, evident by how she throws her arms around Sylvie the moment she gets there. Kim hugs her tight, her drunkenness making her squeeze maybe a little too hard.
“Sylvie! Hi.” Kim grins widely at her. “We saw a baby survive today. It was, Sylvie, it was incredible! And amazing! Medicine is truly incredible,”
Sylvie smiles at her friend’s excited amazement. Kim then gasps.
“But I don’t need to tell you that, do I? That’s basically what you do every day. Like a blonde, pretty superhero.” Kim squeezes her again.
“Oh, I don’t know if—” Sylvie begins to protest, but Kim cuts her off.
“Yes. You’re a superhero.” She nods with enthusiasm, certain in her belief. A smile appears on Sylvie’s lips again.
“Okay. I’m a superhero.” She concedes, before adding, “but if I am, you definitely are. You’re a kickass cop!”
“Hm. But you save lives. Like actual lives, people call you when they’re dying. I’m like the sidekick to your superhero. Like you’re the boss, the one people go to. I just help,” Kim rambles on. Sylvie’s got an urge to point out to that technically, paramedics generally turn up to assist cops, not the other way around, but she pushes it down, knowing drunkenness knows no reason or logic.
“Okay, then, sidekick. Let’s get you home,” Sylvie says, thinking that it’s not only best if she stops Kim from leaving with him, but ensuring that even after she leaves the bar that she doesn’t make the bad decision.
“Oh. Brett, actually, Kim and I, uh, we were getting a taxi together,” Sean speaks up then, reminding them of his presence. At the use of her last name, Sylvie almost rolls her eyes. It’s almost as if he was trying to pretend he hadn’t seen her naked, that they hadn’t also “got a taxi together”.
Sylvie must’ve drank more of her beer than she thought as she’s tempted to remind him of such—and how Sylvie had left alone in another taxi only fifty-two minutes later.
“Well, I’m here now,” Sylvie dismisses him, acting as if his meaning of getting a taxi together had gone over her head. She links her arm with Kim’s, keeping her attached to her side. Kim looks between the two of them, as if trying to decide which one to go with. (Like Sylvie would be giving her a choice).
“No, uh—” Sean continues to protest, but Sylvie sticks to doing her friend duty, interrupting him by talking over him.
“Come on, Kim. I’ve had a boring day today, I can use some girl time,” Sylvie tells her friend. At her words, Kim pouts sympathetically at her, and Sylvie knows she’s successfully diverted her friend’s attention away from Roman. Kim then looks at Sean, giving him an apologetic look.
“Sorry, Sean, she needs girl time.” Kim tells him and Sylvie would be lying if she didn’t get some satisfaction in how disappointed Sean looks.
Annoyance is also wrapped up in his expression, but Sylvie can see he’s trying to hide it, presumably so to ensure Kim wouldn’t dismiss whatever was going to happen from happening another day. Sylvie makes a mental note to make sure, when her friend is sober, that this was a one off, that Kim shouldn’t ever consider going there again.
With that settled, Sylvie lightly tugs at Kim, to get them moving towards the door. Sometimes, leading drunken friends can feel very much like herding farm animals, but Kim moves with little encouragement, barely taking the time to say (well, yell rather loudly) a goodbye to Sean before she heads to the exit with Sylvie.
“Can we go to yours instead?” Kim asks, yet again her voice louder than usual, as soon as they get into Sylvie’s car. “You know, for girl time? I really don’t want to be at mine,” she adds on.
“Sure, that’s fine,” Sylvie nods. She understands Kim’s unwillingness to go back to her apartment; just a few weeks ago, she was thinking it would soon not be her home, that she’d be building a life in another apartment with Adam.
After Kim asks her that, she stares out the window for a minute or so, a troubled and sombre expression on her face. All Sylvie does, all she knows Kim needs from her at that moment, is reach over and lightly squeeze her hand.
Then, whatever dark thoughts were swirling around in Kim’s mind passes, and Kim’s her animated drunken self, rambling on about the baby again for the rest of the journey to Sylvie’s apartment.
“So what do you want to do?” Kim asks her when they enter Sylvie’s place. Before Sylvie can answer, Kim gasps, spinning around to face her.
“We could put on some music? I’ve missed dancing. I love Molly’s and all, but it’s not always the best place to just let loose. Or do you want to watch a movie? Oh! Let’s watch one we can make a drinking game to play while watching. Or do you just want to drink and talk? Or a game? But what game would be fun just the two of us? Maybe we should call others. Gabby’s working isn’t she? But maybe—” Kim talks a million miles a minute, her mind jumping all over the place.
“Kim. Kim.” Sylvie grabs her attention, interrupting her friend. “How about we don’t drink, and you go to sleep?”
“But what about you? You wanted girl time.” Kim tilts her head, her drunken confusion amusing Sylvie. Sometimes Sylvie thinks there’s nothing funnier than being sober, or more sober at least, than your drunk friend.
“I’m fine. But you need to sleep. This has already been enough excitement to make up for my boring day,” Sylvie reassures her, expertly leading Kim to get bedroom while she talks.
“Oh. Okay.” Kim accepts. “But do I have to sleep? I’m not tired,”
“That’s because you’re drunk, Kim. You’re buzzed. But you’ll thank me tomorrow, so come on. Get off your shoes. You can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in if you want?” Sylvie offers as Kim sits down on her bed, doing as she said and taking off her shoes. Kim shakes her head.
“’s alright. I can just sleep in this.” She responds. Sylvie can see that she’s starting to loose her buzz, her eyes getting tired.
“You sure?” Sylvie double checks.
“Yeah. But I don’t feel right sleeping here. This is your bed, I’ll take the sofa,” At Kim’s words, Sylvie shakes her head.
“No, I want you to sleep here. It’ll help your hangover to get some good rest. And I’m not on shift tomorrow, so I can sleep the whole day if I want, so it’s fine.” Sylvie reassures her, holding up a hand as Kim goes to protest.
“Kim. I’m a paramedic, remember? You should listen to me.” That stops her, and so Sylvie nudges her, moving onto the next part—actually getting her in the bed. Because it has been a while since Kim’s last drink now, and her buzz is going, leaving a sleepy drunk Kim in it’s wake, that is a relatively easy task.
“You’re such a good friend,” Kim tells her, her voice sleepy, after Sylvie’s gotten her into her bed. Sylvie smiles at the brunette. “An amazing kickass, sweet wonderful friend,”
“You want to know something?” Sylvie asks softly as Kim snuggles down into the sheets, settling. “You’re an amazing kickass, sweet wonderful friend too,”
“No, I’m not.” Kim protests. Her voice is quiet, full of sleep still, but Sylvie can also hear the pain, the hurt, that’s in it. “I’m an idiot. Why did I think I’d get to be happy, that I’d get my happy ever after? And now I never will. Who’ll want to be with me, when they find out I’ve had a failed engagement? I never wanted this, I only ever wanted to be engaged once, and now. I’ll probably never be again.”
Sylvie sits on her bed, next to where Kim lies. Kim’s looking at her with such pain and hurt in her eyes, a pain and hurt that Sylvie has known herself, and she’s glad she intervened because this Kim, this drunken hurt Kim, is most definitely not ready for a rebound.
“Kim. That’s not true. You will find love again, I mean, you’re a catch! And who cares if you’ve had a failed engagement—so have I, remember? It doesn’t define you or stop you from getting dates. Yeah, it’s a little bit more than this, but it’s still essentially just another break-up.” Sylvie strokes some of Kim’s hair, in the way her mother did to her when she was a little girl.
“And you are many things, Kim Burgess, but an idiot is not one of them. You deserve happiness, and you will get it. I promise. And if anyone ever tells you otherwise, give me their names and I’ll kick their ass. And that includes you, yourself. You’re a wonderful person, and you should recognise that.” Sylvie reassures her friend, her voice firm, showing how serious she is.
Kim gives her a small smile, her eyes having become watery at Sylvie’s words. Sylvie can still see the pain in her, but she can also see that her words has had an affect on Kim, in a positive way. From her own experience, Sylvie knows Kim is far off from being totally okay, but she knows that a small part of her has been healed ever so slightly. And that is a win, for both of them.
It’s not long after that Kim falls asleep. Sylvie turns off her bedroom light, after putting a glass of water and paracetamol in her bedside table for when Kim wakes up in the morning.
Sylvie’s already awake, sitting at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee, pancakes and a newspaper when Kim sleepily stumbles out of her bedroom rubbing her eyes.
“Good Morning,” Sylvie smiles at her in greeting. Kim blinks at her for a few seconds before returning the smile.
“Morning,” Kim’s voice is still groggy from sleep. Sylvie pushes her plate towards her.
“Here. Eat.” Sylvie tells her. Kim opens her mouth, and sensing protestions, she holds up her hand. “You look like you could do with it, and I can always make more.”
Sylvie watches as Kim sits down at the table, obediently beginning to eat. She rises, heading for her fridge. “I’ve got some bacon you can eat with that, if you want? It’ll help you with your energy. Also, I can make you some coffee,”
At that, Kim’s head lifts up. “Coffee,”
Sylvie laughs at that reaction, and how Kim’s voice sounds so desperate and she realises offering the coffee should’ve been her first move.
“Please,” Kim then adds, as if realising that she could be coming off rude. She isn’t, of course. Sylvie recognises she’s just sleepy and hungover, but Kim is always so conscious of being polite. “Thank you. And could I have some of that bacon, please? It sounds like such a good option right now,”
Sylvie places the freshly made cup of coffee in front of Kim before working on the bacon. It’s silent in the apartment, as Sylvie cooks and Kim eats, and she finds herself thinking that if she hadn’t been at Molly’s, Kim would’ve been having a very different, awkward morning instead.
“Sylvie?” Kim says as she eats the bacon. Sylvie looks up from her newspaper. “Thanks. For what you said last night. I, I needed to hear that.” Kim smiles at her and Sylvie returns it.
“No problem. Really, Kim. I’ve been there, remember? And at least I didn’t have to see my ex-fiancé every day at work.” Sylvie affectionately squeezes Kim’s hand. “Anytime you need to talk, especially to someone who understands, I’m here. Even if you just want to get drunk and talk about anything else,” Kim smiles appreciatively at her words.
After Kim’s finished her coffee and food, she tells Sylvie that she’s going to go, needing to go back to hers and shower and get dressed before work. Sylvie offers to drive her, but Kim shakes her off, saying she’ll get a taxi. Sylvie wants to protest, insist, but she can tell that Kim isn’t just wanting a taxi because of not wanting to a burden, but because she needs the time alone, so Sylvie drops the matter.
“Thank you. Really.” Kim says to her as she goes to leave. She hugs Sylvie tightly, appreciatively, a hug Sylvie happily returns. “And not just for this, breakfast and letting me sleep here, or even not just for what you said but for the whole night. I, I was feeling very emotional and that combined with the alcohol... I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for making decisions,” Sylvie nods, getting exactly what Kim meant.
“It’s fine. My duty, really, as your friend.” Sylvie replies, continuing.
“I mean not just because I’ve been there, and because you were drunk, but because honestly? As your friend, it’s my duty to save you from disappointing dick,” Sylvie pulls a face, remembering her encounter with Roman.
A laugh splutters out of Kim, and she leans forward towards Sylvie. “Really? He’s no good? I mean...I get that vibe, but really?”
“Kim. I was out of his apartment fifty-two minutes later. He’s not just disappointing, he’s quick and awful. Very in-out, selfish kind of man.” Sylvie grimaces as she remembers. Kim laughs again, and Sylvie’s happy at least something good came out of that night.
“Oh god. Really, then. Thank you. I mean, I get the vibe, but you seriously left that soon after?” Kim shakes her head. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,”
“Trust me, so am I. So, please, Kim, never ever consider that again, no matter how drunk. It will not be worth it.” Sylvie shivers at the memory. Kim pulls her in for another hug.
“Don’t worry, I won’t. I don’t even know why I even considered it. Maybe because I know how much Adam hates him, so I was kind of being a bit destructive? I don’t know. But whatever the reason, it has passed. If I’m going to make a bad decision, I better be getting satisfaction from it,” she reassures her. Sylvie grins.
“Good. My job here is done, then.” Sylvie pauses. “And Kim, for what it’s worth? If I was you, I’d probably spend some time thinking about that reason why—maybe your relationship with Adam isn’t as failed as you think. But I know I don’t know the ins and outs, so maybe don’t give my opinion much thought. Now, you should get a move on! You’ve got work.”
Kim gives Sylvie a thoughtful look, before nodding. “Yeah, I should go. Bye, and uh, thanks again,” she says, before heading out of the door.
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what-the--curtains · 4 years ago
Text
Alliance
Chapter 8 – The Foil
(Mando x f!reader)
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Summary: Outposted on Hoth while you heal, you, Cara and Grogu keep each other company. But your nightmares quickly return, and the dark forces sending them can no longer be kept at bay.
TW: Major character death (briefly), blood, swearing
Notes: Thank u all for reason still every like makes my heart go 🥺 and every reblog/comment makes me WEEP with joy! Hope y’all are staying safe! Two chapters left!!
Word count: 4.6k
Tagged: @crazycookiecrumbles
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“What?” Din asks, noticing your face scrunch as your feet hit the ground.
“What is this?” you question, squatting down and picking up a handful of the white powder covering the planet's floor. The cold bites at your bare skin causing your hand to instinctively release.
“What never seen snow before?” he taunts, in a manner you had often used on him, as he and Cara stride ahead, each carrying bags twice the size of the average person. An impressive sight that left you feeling less than inadequate. You kicked at the snow turning around to grab a bag from the ship in an effort to demonstrate you could carry your own weight. In the meantime Grogu had managed to form the snow into a small ball which he promptly pelted towards the Mandalorian hitting him square in the helmet.
The thunk causes you to turn around in time with Din whose head was accusingly cocked towards you. You point to the kid who mirrors your movements causing him to grin underneath his helmet. He watches as you throw a bag over your shoulder, wincing in pain when you bend down to pick up the child. Anya bounds behind you, enamoured with the snow. The Mandalorian stops and begins tracing his steps back towards you.
“Here” he says reaching for the bag, any other day he wouldn't bother, he knew you could carry your own weight, hell you'd carried his literal weight before.
“If I can carry your ass, I think I can handle this bag” you roll your eyes, as the bag strap digs further into your shoulder causing you to quickly move past him. He watches you push through the snow and towards the concrete base a few feet ahead. He wished you’d let him help you. He knew you were strong; he wished you were a touch less stubborn.
“Well not the beach vacation I was hoping for, but it’ll do for now.” Cara say’s placing the sac carrying the medical supplies and food rations on a nearby table. You drop your bag the second you enter into the abandoned rebellion base. Slowly rolling your shoulder out attempting, and failing, to masquerade your pain. Din comes in behind you grabbing the bag you'd just dropped effortlessly tossing it, along with his own bag, up on the table with the med supplies.
“Looks like there's plenty of room here, enough bunks for us to have our own, amenities seem to work well enough, not sure about hot water, but at least its water.” Cara says appearing from a hallway.
“What about the camouflage? Is it still in place?” you ask as Din begins to type away into one of the dust covered computers. He grunts hitting the machine rather harshly while swearing under his breath.
“I can't tell, we need parts to fix it.”
“Should be some on the base.” Cara offers, more as a question than a statement.
“No, we need new technology to reinstate the old. I'll have to go out and get some.”
“That safe?” Cara asks
“If it's just me? Yes.”
“So I'm playing caretaker. You wanna tell her that or is that gonna be my job” she says, looking over at you as you unpack the preservatives into the kitchen area with Grogu tucked under your arm. The Mandalorian emits a low grumble. This wasn't going to go over well.
“We need food, I’m going to get some,” he states firmly, but from a safe distance.
“I'll come with you, you’re not much of a hunter” you say, placing Grogu down on the counter and brushing your hands off on your pants.
“Not hunting here, I'm going to get credits, I need to buy some parts to get the camouflage working again.”
“Alright, well I can help with that too” you say, confused as to why he was being so dismissive.
“No, you're injured,” he says, taking a cautious step towards you.
“I’m fine” you reiterate for what feels like the hundredth time since they’d saved you.
“Really?” He says rolling up your left sleeve, revealing scars still raw from the electrocutions. You push his arm away and roll your sleeve back down wincing when you graze the raw flesh. “When was the last time you slept? Really slept”
“No worse than it was before” you mumble out.
“You spent two weeks with the empire being treated like a caged animal, you need to rest.” he persuades, placing a tentative hand on your arm. The contact briefly causing you to shift away before settling into the gentle grip.
“And you’re leaving Cara here to babysit me?” you ask, eyes skirting to the side.
“ Yes. Normal circumstances you’d be fine, but you’re not in any shape to be fighting.” slightly taken aback by the honesty, but not surprised by his lack of bedside manner.
“This is crap you say.” shaking your head, if positions were swapped, sure you would be saying the same thing, but there's no way he would listen to you.
“If someone comes, you and Cara need to be here,” he states. Why he didn't just say ‘I just got you back, i'm not risking losing you again’ he doesn't know, but he’s sure it’s for the best. With no response from you he takes his leave. You watch his cape sway in the wind as he renters the ship and takes off leaving you behind once again.
“He’s infuriating.” You say to Cara who's hesitantly appeared by your side.
“Yup. But he’s also right. Common I want to see your light saber.” She says tugging on your elbow until you comply. You enter into one large open area of the base where various mismatched chairs littered the scene. You pull out the box containing the lightsaber as Cara burritos Grogu into a blanket propping him up on one of the strewn about chairs with a cushion.
“You're probably gonna want to hang back” you say, turning it on. The light purple aura shoots out vibrating softly. You move across the floor swingin it about a bit before finally closing it.
“Not bad,” Cara says, a smirk forming.
“We got anything disposable here?” you ask side eyeing her, eyebrows slightly raised.
“Ya. Want me to throw it at you?” she responds, seemingly reading your mind. You nod your head excitedly. What started as a relatively safe game of toss and slice had progressed into something slightly more dangerous. You were blindfolded, three beers deep and Cara was no longer throwing soft items at you. After another piece of food smacks you in the face you rip off the blindfold only to see Cara giggling like a schoolgirl.
“You know if I was smarter I'd say you were doing this on purpose.”
“Good thing you're not any smarter.” she laughs, waking up Grogu who immediately reaches for the saber.
“No,” Cara says, grabbing him in the knick of time. You both begin to clean up the mess you had made, well at least the half that would smell bad by the morning. What would have been a 15 minute job turned into an hour long ordeal with most of the time being spent preventing Grogu from eating the splattered food and opening up the lightsaber.
“He’s got a predisposition for danger” you say, grabbing him away from the saber for the 90th time that night.
“I wonder where he learnt that from,” Cara laughs.
The next morning you wake up from another nightmare, at least it had been of the no name variety this time, nothing quite as drastic as being suffocated in your sleep. You pull yourself up onto a barstool and lean over the counter clutching the back of your head as a plate of food enters into your eye line.
“You're chatty in your sleep” Cara says, watching as you take a bite.
“Sorry did I wake you up?” you ask scrunching up your forehead and hiding your face in your hands.
“No, don’t worry I’ve got my own demons keeping me up at night. You sleep walk as well, had to turn you around or you would have walked right out the front door.”
“Well, that's embarrassing. Thanks for stopping me from freezing to death, ill strap myself into the bed tonight” you say with a chuckle.
“So what are yours about?” she asks.
“Some weirdo in a cape” you say, taking another bite. “you?”
“The war mainly,” she says “if you ever need to talk”
“Thanks, you too” it was nice to have her in your corner.
“Sorry by the way if you know, what we did to you has caused any nightmares” it was the first time you’d seen Cara look remorseful and soft.
“Ya those stopped after a few months, around the same time the bruises did. Not sure if it was thicker skin or I just got better at fighting.” Cara nods, emitting a relieved sigh.
“Who do you think would win in a fight? Me or Mando.” she asks, stopping any further awkwardness from continuing.
“Tough call, doesn't matter though i'd beat you both.” You smirk.
‘Oh please I could drop you with my pinky finger!” She laughs waving around the frying pan she’d been cooking with.
‘I’m stronger than I look” you say pointing your fork at her with a mouthful of food.
“I know that but i'm a better fighter. At least at hand to hand combat. Though from what I've heard if I give you a spear or a bow you’d probably destroy me.”
“Games were more rigged than you think. It was largely a performance.” you admit.
“Killing the devaronian part of that?”
“No, that was a fun surprise. They like to pit fan favourites against each other. Who told you about that, or were you there?”
“No, I don't take pleasure in forced fighting. Mando told me, when I asked if you were a strong fighter. He was convinced. Also told me you saved him from drowning. How'd you do that his armour weighs as much as a ranakor.”
“Gods I honestly don’t know how, could barely move the next morning between the freezing water and unexpected heavy lifting.” you respond, shaking your head.
“How’d you survive it, cold waters a killer even if it doesn't drown you?”
“Fire, thank god his cape was fast drying or I think the hypothermia may have gotten him.”
“Just the cape that kept him warm?” She asks innocently enough
“What did he tell you?” you shoot back, your eyes telling her there was more to the story.
“I don’t know what he should have told me?” she says now increasingly interested
“Is this why you made me a delicious breakfast? To grill me? You laugh
“Oh you are not getting out of answering that question by complimenting me”
“Body heat” you mumble, quickly stuffing more food into your mouth to shut yourself up.
“So you guys have..” she starts.
“No, oh my god, I don’t even think he's allowed to. No in order to survive we had to maintain body heat. Which we did with our clothes on, there's nothing more to it”
“Well from what i've heard he's definitely allowed to, and has on multiple occasions, but if there's nothing to it.” she lifts her eyebrow.
“Survival was the only thing to it.” you stress.
“Oh im sure neither of you enjoyed being cozied up to each other”
“I’ll get the saber if you're not careful” you threaten stuffing more food in your mouth in an attempt to shut yourself up.
“Seriously, him lugging around that armour all the time, he must look pretty nice under there and I mean, you’re... you so nothing to not enjoy there.” she rambles on.
“I'm getting it” you say sliding off the stool.
“Threatening to kill me, won’t get you out of this” she hollers after you
“Oh no Cara don’t worry it's for myself. Gonna use it to burn out any remnants of this conversation.”
“I'm just sayin!” Of course she was just saying, of course he hadn't told her about that because it meant nothing. Would you mind being wrapped up in his muscular arms again no of course not, you're not blind, but your also not stupid. You know there was nothing more to it than a debt and a friendship, and that was fine. F-I-N-E, fine with you.
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The Mandalorian walks towards the base sporting a bag holding parts he hoped would patch up the base's broken down systems. The sun had set and the white snow glowed a light blue from where the moonlight reflected down on it. The grey clouds forming above indicated that a storm was brewing and the last thing he wanted was to get caught out in a blizzard. The doors whir as they close behind him preventing any cold from seeping through. Placing the bag down on a nearby table he pulls out some food and warmer clothes he'd grabbed while he was out. He walks over to the kids room cracking the door and peering in. The sound wakes Grogu causing him to start fussing only stopping when he's picked up. Din follows the trail of inanimate objects sliced and strewn across the floor until he sees Cara whose on the couch carving a wooden stick into a point.
“Welcome back” she says, not looking up from her project.
“Got the stuff, he wasn’t too much trouble?” he asks, referring to the kid and tossing her a blanket.
“Nope” she smiles, catching the quilt and wrapping it around herself.
“You two have fun?” he asks, directing her attention to the various metals that she had meant to clean up before he got home.
“You know we should really get lightsabers, it's not fair only Jedis can have them. She's something else, I can see why you enjoy her company so much” Cara says, hoping to provoke a reaction.
“What's that supposed to mean?” he spits out.
“Well it wasn’t supposed to mean anything but, I guess it's more than her company you'd like to enjoy? I heard about the cave, interesting the details you left out” She says, eyes glancing up at him as a smile spreads across her face. He's about to respond, but the distinct sound of doors opening brings about a silent truce as they shift into action mode, blasters in hand maneuvering quietly towards the door. Noticing a figure, Din takes aim, but Caras hand stays his shot.
“What’s she doing?” he asks, reholstering the blaster and moving towards you
“Sleepwalking.” Cara responds “she didn’t do this when you were around?” he shakes his head, he knew about the nightmares but this, this was an escalation he didn't see coming.
“We should wake her up, she’s going to freeze” he says
“You’re not supposed to wake them up,” Cara returns
“So we just let her wander out and die?” Din argues
“No we just turn her back in the direction of her room smart ass.'' The argument ceases when they remember the door being opened. You had managed to make your way out into the blizzard concerning both Din and Cara. He hands Grogu to Cara and trudges through the thick snow, which you were moving through with ease. Cara, not one to be left behind, follows him out sheltering the kid under the quilted blanket.
“Someones with her.” Cara shouts over the wind. She's right; he watches as you reach out for the cloaked figure turning it around to face you.
“Y/N!” the Mandalorian calls out.
*************************************************
Your name being called pulls you back to reality. You look down seeing Anya whose ears are back and emitting a sound the likes of which you’ve never heard. Your name’s called again further indicating this was not a dream, despite the surroundings feeling uncannily familiar. The figure stands before you, unmoving, still present, what the fuck was going on. Your heart races as you reach out this time your hand makes contact with a bony shoulder. Your eyes widen as you turn the figure around to face you. Your eyes flutter side to side trying to piece together the situation playing out before you. You hear the Mandalorian shouting for you, but you don't turn away.
Your hand reaches up to pull down the hood as you do a familiar buzzing fills your ears as a scarlet flash lights up the sky. A burning sensation radiating in your stomach causes you to look down just as the saber retracts back into its hilt, the red light dissipating as it does. Your hand grasps at the cloak tearing a piece off as the figure disappears into the night. You fall to the ground, it's cold, you can feel your light fading, it wasn’t supposed to end like this.
************************************************
Din makes it to you first, dropping to your side. He places a hand under your waist lifting you onto his lap scanning your body for the damage. Your hands cover your abdomen. He moves them away revealing a substantial hole where the saber had cut straight through you. There was no blood, there was no fixing this, there was nothing he could do. Too many vital organs had been hit. He watches as you try and fail to intake the surrounding air into your lungs. He can see the panic in your eyes as you try and fail to breathe. Cara’s run comes to a halt. She stares down at the Mandalorian as he cradles a body that would never heal. You’re trying to say something, but all that’s emitted is a series of bloody splutters as you cling desperately to life. You look at Cara and the child before looking back up at him. Your purple eyes bore into him as your body goes limp. Anya throws her head back howling loudly into the night as Cara continues staring down stoic as even, placing a hand on the beskar armour. The Mandalorian doesn't move, he can’t, he won’t let you go. Why didn't he say anything, why couldn't he offer you some comfort in your final moments. He had failed you. As the howl fades back into the wind the silence becomes deafening.
Cara sees them first, Dins hand moves to your chest where small palpitations seemed to be occurring. His head swivels around staring up to see Grogu’s small green hand reached out, head wrinkled and eyes squinting in focus. As quickly as it had stopped your breathing begins again punctuated by a loud cough and several gasps for air which launch you upwards. The Mandalorians arm braces your shoulder as you do. He pulls up the hem of your shirt running a hand over skin that was beginning to smooth over. Grogu collapses back into Caras arms. Din breaths out for the first time in what felt like forever, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat back down. Your hands found their way up to his helmet tracing around its edges in an attempt to ground yourself.
“It’s okay, I’m here, you’re alive, you’re safe.” he whispers, as he brings his helmet down to your forehead pressing them together lightly. Your arms quickly wrap around him as you bury your face in his chest. The metal suddenly feeling like the most comfortable thing in the world.
“Makers get a room” Cara shouts. He hears you mutter something which he eventually makes out as “the child”
“He’s fine,” he says, watching the relief rush over your face as your arm reaches out to pet Anya before your eyes start close again.
“We have to get her inside, and warm, she’ll be fine, but we have to move quickly.” Cara says as Din lifts you up carrying you back inside.
The following days blur together for Din he left shortly after you were secured back in bed in search of supplies and medicine that would help ease your recovery. In all truth it helped keep his mind off the fact that you may not wake up. Despite Grogu’s best efforts you had been dead for a solid five minutes, that's not something many people recover from. He took up a few extra bounties along the way hoping they may have some answers as to who was with you in the blizzard that night, but nothing turned up. The killing helped him feel better, and coming back with supplies made him feel useful. No matter where he was, he always made sure to return with blankets and warm gear, especially after Cara had said you felt cold to the touch. He couldn't have that.
“I think we’re good for blankets, Mando anymore and she’ll sweat to death” Cara says with a small laugh unpacking yet another massive sheet made from some type of animal hide.
“You said she needed to be kept warm” he states, as if his actions were completely normal and reasonable.
“Well why don’t you just crawl in there with her that'll keep her nice and toasty” she teases “or you could just wait until she wakes up then you’d be able to keep her really warm, at least based on what I’ve heard from some of your past lovers” she laughs, as he leaves the room embarrassed.
*************************************************
Your mouths dry, that’s the first thing that alerts you to the fact that you were still alive. You open your eyes slowly permitting the fluorescent lighting to creep through causing a dull ache to pulse in your forehead. Closing one eye you move up in the bed causing multiple blankets to cascade down from your shoulders pooling in your lap. You turn to the side reaching for the glass of water precariously placed on your bedside table. A sharp pain shoots through your body as you reach out causing your hands to jolt down to the source of the pain. The scar tissue reminds you just how lucky you were to be alive. Your hands positioning is quickly changed as Anya nuzzles her snout underneath it. You scratch her ears, smiling as she licks at your face. You're distracted by the sound of footsteps inching closer to your door. You sit up and straighten your shirt, suddenly aware of how you must look and smell. Your fussing with your hair as the door clicks open.
“You're up!” Cara exclaims “wait here there’s someone who’ll want to see you. “
“Like I can go anywhere” you respond, shifting slightly as you do. She re-enters with Grogu who she places in your arms. He stares up at you with his big eyes, his hand reaching out for your chin. You lower your head so he can touch it eliciting a small contented gurgle.
“Thanks for saving me,” you say, as he worms his way underneath the blankets.
“Mando’s off getting supplies, mainly bringing back blankets for you though” Cara remarks causing you to roll your eyes.
“Five bounties so I’ve been out what? a day?” you ask shuffling through the thick fur covers which were, to be fair, keeping you nice and toasty.
“How are you feeling”
“Like a shish kebab”
“You looked like one. Do you remember anything about that night?”
“What apart from dying? I remember taking this” you say pulling out the small swatch of fabric you had torn from the figures cloak. “Nothing after that. I figured the only way this hole was closed was because of Grogu. Did something else happen?” Cara contemplates telling you about the tender moment she had witnessed between you and the Mandalorian, but opts to let him tell you himself.
“No, nothing. Get some more rest, you look like shit.” she laughs leaving the room allowing you to fall asleep with Grogu tucked neatly under your arm.
“Fuck” you shout, shooting awake. Your eyes water and your chest heaves. Another nightmare. Whoever this figure was, it knew it had not succeeded in killing you. Whatever it was you, and your friends, would not be safe until they, or you, were dead. You maneuver out of bed, careful not to wake the child as you do. Your feet hit the floor with a light slap, the sound being enough to rouse Grogu from his slumber. He blinks sleepily watching as you grab some clothes, a blanket and the ripped fabric tossing it all into a small leather bag. You whistle for Anya who begrudgingly hops off the bed and makes her way over to you. The child, now awake and apparently savvy to your plans scowls.
“I know, but we’ll be back once it’s dealt with” you say leaning over the bed to stroke his ear.
“Once what’s dealt with?” the familiar modulated voice asks behind you. “You’re leaving.” he continues, noting the rucksack tossed carelessly over one shoulder.
“Just for now.” You say, offering him a reassuring smile as you turn to face him, “I have to deal with something.”
“We can help.” He responds. You turn back to face the wall, not wanting to meet his gaze.
“Not this time I can’t put the kid at risk. It’s too dangerous. Whatever came here, it’ll come back once it feels I'm alive. I’m going to find it. See what it wants.” you unpack and repack your bag making sure everything you need is there.
“How do you know this isn’t what it wants you to do.” he poses, causing your hands to stop shuffling around inside the bag.
“I don’t.”
“And how do you think you’re getting off this planet.” he asks, a touch too smug for your liking. Especially considering you had not figured that part out yet.
“Gotta be some spare parts around here, maybe even an old ship.”
“Can you even fly?” Was that worry you detected in his voice, or amusement at the notion of you piloting a spacecraft.
“I'll be fine.” You say closing your bag.
“Let me help you.” he takes a step towards you, closing the space between you both.
“I’ll be alright” you say, turning and haphazardly throwing the bag over your shoulder. He steps in front of you, not willing to let you pass without a conversation. Not wanting to put him in danger you stand on your tiptoes and place your hands on the helmets sides, causing him tense up. You pull his face down to meet yours planting a kiss where his mouth would be.
“You’ve helped me enough” you say staring into the visor and slowly removing your hands. He remains where he stands, giving you enough time to skirt around him. Entering the kitchen you grab some preserves and a knife out the cupboards tossing them into the bag.
“Tell her she’s not leaving,” Din asserts to Cara, who had witnessed the previous events from a nearby chair.
“You can’t go by yourself, you’re smart enough to know that. Let us help.” She says. Realizing this isn’t a fight you can easily win you agree.
“Someone has to stay here with the kid. He won’t be safe where we're going. Din you should stay with him ” you say.
“I can’t fly a plane.” Cara lies in an attempt to force you both to confront your feelings for eachother, though she wasn’t entirely sure either of you knew how deep said feelings truly ran.
“I’ll take you.” Din says without hesitation
“I know you don’t like to be away from him.” you whisper quietly, your actions from before suddenly creeping to the forefront of your mind.
“We won’t be gone long” he says, evidently unfazed by the kiss. “You know where we’re going.
“No, but she does.” You nod in Anya’s direction.
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lotusjwy · 4 years ago
Note
“You can trust me” for our boys Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen? 👀
ooooh boy, carrie u just know me. i wrote this so easily, idk WHY that was so easy to write honestly. 
enjoy around 2k words of xicheng being mean to each other bro, i needa go make them kiss or smth this hurt 
It wasn’t a very common occurrence, but ever since the events at Guanyin Temple, Lan Xichen would sometimes have days, where most people around would know to give him a wide berth, lest he spit poisonous words at them. These days were unlike the days where he had no desire to exist in the world. Instead, on these days he was infinitely angry at the world. There was never any rhyme or reason to the days – at least, no pattern that he had been able to recognise that would trigger or prompt him to get in these moods. And no one would be safe from the words he spoke, regardless of who they were to him. 
Lan Wangji had learnt first-hand to leave his brother alone when he was in these moods, when Xichen had called him a disgrace to the Lan Sect ways due to his devotion to Wei Wuxian. That Wei Wuxian was a menace to their society and that perhaps they would have benefitted had he met the same fate as his parents. After the fact, Xichen had profusely apologies, explaining that he that he didn’t know why he had said what he had said and that he didn’t mean them. And while Lan Wangji had accepted his apology, their relationship had been strained for a long while after that. In order to protect their brotherhood, both would avoid each other on these days.
However, it would seem that Lan Wangji hadn’t passed this message along to Jiang Wanyin, who was currently pounding on the entrance to the Hanshi, which Lan Xichen had been refusing to open for the past ten minutes. He knew that if he let the other in, that it may come to blows with Lan Xichen’s foul mood and Jiang Wanyin’s general angry disposition. After another few minutes of having to listen to Jiang Wanyin yelling his name, Lan Xichen slammed the doors open, his face displaying the annoyance that he was feeling at the situation.
“You would think, Sect Leader Jiang, that after a few minutes of not receiving a response, you would get the message that I do not wish to speak with you.” His voice was cold and icy, not leaving any room for argument.
Or so he thought, were he not speaking with Jiang Wanyin. Jiang Wanyin who looked confrontation in the face and barrelled right through. 
“You don’t want to talk to me?” Jiang Cheng’s voice was full of disbelief that the other was acting this way, so early in the morning. He’d never seen Lan Xichen acting like this.
“I want you to leave.” Lan Xichen could feel his patience growing thin, if the other didn’t leave right now, then he didn’t know what would come from the following interaction.
“Well, too bad. Since when have I ever left you alone when you’re in a bad mood? Talk to me about it, perhaps that will help you navigate back to being yourself.” With those seemingly simple words, Jiang Wanyin further entered the Hanshi and sat down in front of Lan Xichen.
“There is nothing I wish to speak about with you, at this moment. Leave.” He took a calming breath, willing himself to not lose himself.
“You can trust me, Lan Xichen.” Jiang Wanyin’s voice was earnest and full of understanding, he was being exactly the type of friend Lan Xichen would crave any other day. But not today, today he is angry at the world, and is willing to fight with anyone, and so that’s just what he does.
“I thought I could trust Jin Guangyao. Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang thought they could trust me. Yet all forms of this trust were broken within a few tragic moments.” His voice was hard, not like the usual calming voice that Jiang Wanyin had grown used to over these months. “You’ll find I’m unable to readily believe your words.”
It had been months into their growing friendship – relationship maybe – yet Jiang Cheng had never realised that Lan Xichen still struggled with trust. “And I fucking thought I could trust Wei Wuxian, yet you don’t see me shutting myself off from the fucking world over it.”
“No, you just tortured people out of spite, out of hatred towards your brother. They were innocent people you tortured, yet you did it anyway. Perhaps the world would have benefited from shutting yourself off from the world. More people would be alive.” Internally, Lan Xichen hated himself for even uttering those words, knowing this was something that haunted Jiang Wanyin even after all these years.  
Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes at the other, not understanding why the other was verbally attacking him like this. “Every person I killed was a demonic cultivator, you don’t believe they deserved it?”
“Perhaps demonic cultivation is the wrong path to take, however you didn’t offer rehabilitation for them? Surely, you had other avenues to help that didn’t result to torture. No, instead you had to let your anger take charge as usual.” His voice turning to morbid fascination as he continued to speak, he could see Jiang Wanyin slowly grow more and more angry as he continued to speak his poisons.
Oh. So, he wanted to play that game? Unluckily for Lan Xichen, Jiang Wanyin had been waiting for someone to bring this up with him, thought admittedly he never expected someone he thought was his friend to bring it up.
“Do you know how many demonic cultivators I came across that were previously of the Lan Sect, Sect Leader Lan? It would seem your sect doesn’t offer its’ own members the rehabilitation that you’re so bravely offering right now.”
“You’re lying.” Xichen narrowed his eyes at Jiang Wanyin, not believing his words for a second. He’d have noticed if his disciples were following such paths, he’d have known.
“I’m in Cloud Recesses, esteemed Zewu-jun. Lies aren’t allowed here.” With a smirk, he continued speaking, a smug lilt to his voice, “I can even show you the pile of forehead ribbons that came with each of the cultivators. I have a collection, if you would like to call it that, of little mementos that link each demonic cultivator to a sect.”
“Why would you keep them? Rumour has it you burnt the bodies where they lay.” He was determined to not let the other win this argument.
“And create damage to the sect that I so painfully built back up? No, my disciples disposed of the bodies. You’re not wrong, they were burnt, just not in Lotus Pier. Lotus Pier has seen enough flames to last an eternity.” And Jiang Cheng was never present for any of the burnings. He’d witnessed too much burning flesh in his lifetime, he never wants to see or smell that ever again.
“You’ve not yet explained why you would keep articles from the bodies.” He tried to keep his voice steady and absent from any of the anger that was rushing through his veins. He’d never wanted to yell at another so desperately before.
“To remind myself that while the once first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang created demonic cultivation, that I never once came across another demonic cultivator from within my own sect.” It was an odd pride he’d always felt. A secret pride that he’d never spoken about to anyone before now. “There were countless from the Nie, Jin and Lan sects, yet none from my own. Fascinating isn’t it? That somehow the sect where demonic cultivation was founded never produced another known demonic cultivator.”
“Isn’t that because they saw first-hand what you did to demonic cultivators?” Forcing his voice to sound calm and uninterested, Lan Xichen was determined to make Jiang Wanyin feel as bad as he was making Lan Xichen feel with his words.
Jiang Cheng let out a snort, “partially, I won’t deny that. However, I believe they saw what it could to do those around them. How negatively it could impact on everyone, including themselves. The issue all you fucking hypocrites have is that you just tell your disciples that demonic cultivation is bad, and they should never pursue it, or you will punish them.”
“And what? You believe you have the upper ground here?”
“Gods no. I’ll never claim to have an upper ground, we lived through a war, we were all bound to fuck up in some way or another. But I tell my disciples in explicit detail what demonic cultivation can do to families. I remind them of Jin Ling who grew up without parents due to the inability to control demonic cultivation. Because if a genius like Wei Wuxian couldn’t fucking control it, then what luck did a lowly disciple have?”
And that was something Jiang Cheng had spent years working through himself. The knowledge the Wei Wuxian didn’t mean for everything to go as badly as it did. That he had just lost control of the situation and it had grown and grown until the unthinkable had happened, and Jin Guangyao took explicit control of the situation. It was still something he had to talk himself through, on his bad days. But he would not have Lan Xichen attempt to make him feel bad about the things that he has been through, no matter who they are to each other.
Looking away from Jiang Wanyin, Lan Xichen grit his teeth and spoke tersely, “I see.”
“That’s all you have to say?” He couldn’t believe the other was acting like this. Xichen had spat venom yet seemed to be retreating the second Jiang Cheng fought back. Coward.
“I don’t know what else you want from me.” He let out a heavy sigh, and turned back to Jiang Wanyin, his eyebrows raised, as if asking why the other was still here.
Jiang Cheng laughed frostily, voice full of hurt and regret, “I had thought that the two of us had an understanding after all these months. It would seem that I was wrong to think you would ever trust someone as vile as me.”
“No one asked for you to attach yourself to me.” He almost winced, as he said it, knowing that they were about to cross dangerous territories in this conversation. Perhaps with irreversible consequences.
“Attach myself? Lan Xichen, need I remind you who fucking approached who first, or have you coincidentally lost all memory of that moment?” Lan Xichen. That was the answer. Lan fucking Xichen had approached Jiang Cheng with hopes of friendship first, right out of his seclusion, so why the fuck was he acting so haughty now?
“I approached you out of desperation on my part. I wished to forget A-Yao’s existence, and so I approached you. You who is so very clearly unlike him. It meant nothing more to me and has seemed to have run its course.” I’m sorry, I don’t mean it, he wanted to be able to say, but his mood didn’t allow him to, his words leaving his mouth faster than he could shove them back in and never have the time to utter them.
“Of course, I’m the fool in this situation. Why would the great Lan Xichen approach lowly Jiang Wanyin for friendship or anything more? It would seem you were correct, my trust in you was misplaced, I will endeavour to rectify that mistake of mine. Thank you for the honourable life lesson, esteemed Sect Leader.” With a final, stilted and angry bow, Jiang Cheng turned around and left the room, muttering under his breath about ungrateful people.
As Jiang Cheng stormed out, Lan Xichen closed his eyes in defeat. Ah, Lan Huan, you’ve finally done it. You’ve finally pushed away everyone that genuinely gave you care. Jiang Cheng wasn’t like Wangji, who had forgiven his words without a second of hesitation, no Jiang Cheng would remember each word that had been uttered in this room. Once scorned, Jiang Cheng wouldn’t return without a genuine apology, an apology that Lan Xichen wasn’t sure he was ready to give the other. Not without thinking more deeply about what kind of a relationship he wanted with the other.
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