#well I have a a little sister again too lmaoo

[zepskies]

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!!!!!! 🥳❄️❄️

It's my favorite holiday for sure! And thanks for this little gift you've given me, Wayne. 😘❤️💚

Ooooh, snappy 😆 I've been diving into the books a bit and I do think they still have some tough things to talk out. The show's making it look way too easy lol

Ok more and more you're making me want to dive into the actual books!! It's true, the show really did shoulder through that pretty quickly lol.

But I loved all the kindergarten teasing and bantering between them. Such a fun moment! 🤍

Aw thank you!! 💜💜 I had a lot of fun creating the sibling banter moments between Russell and Colter, whether it was light and teasing or tense and angsty.

Read this fully in Bobby's voice. You totally nailed his cadence too! You're killing it here, Alex!! 👏👏

Omg thank youuu! I watched some episodes over again to try and get Bobby's voice right, even in this small moment. 🥰🥰

Ahaha knew it! Right on time too 😂 He really cares for her a lot after such a short amount of time already 🥹❤️

He really does. 🥹 I really tried my best to show that they do have this connection that's special (and worth not letting go of?), despite only knowing each other for a short time. 💕

You're a hopeless romantic. You wouldn't do this to me, right? Right, Alex???? 😭

They do share similarities 🤣🤣

Lmfaoo right?!! And not just because they're both actually "Justin."

(They could actually be bros, like what? 🤣)

I do love how resourceful he always is 🤓👏

See, that for me was actually the challenge narratively. Writing Colter and his intelligence believably, since of course, I'm not the brilliant author of the actual books. 😅😅 But I hope I faked it well enough in this story! lol

Like the reader, I'm not surprised but was hoping it wouldn't be this bad. Geez, Charlie, you call this getting your shit together? 🙄

Oh, Charlie's a ridiculous hot mess lmaoo. He's not doing himself any favors, even when he tries to "fix it."

Why? No, not the woods!! 😂 (Being lost in a forest is one of my worst nightmares lol)

Ya know, I totally get that. 😂 I don't live near forests, but I'm pretty sure Colter would have to come find my ass after 1 hour alone out there in the wilderness.

Russell's dark side is doing things to me... 🫠🫠

Ooof, why do I love a rugged, dangerous but protective man so much?

Figured something like this happened. I do feel for him, though. It's called addiction for a reason ❤️‍🩹 His argument for stealing was hilarious, however. Like, boo, really? Don't pretend you care about the Native Americans now. I think he knows his sister too well and figured this might work 😂

Oooh yeah. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 It's certainly not cut and dry.

Oh, you're totally valid for calling Charlie out like that lmaooo. Even the reader is calling him out on his BS. 😂 The way he tries to get "noble" about those Native American artifacts isn't fooling anybody.

You did it, too!!!! The "I love you" goodbye!! 🤣

Omggg you really caught me! 🤣🤣 What can I say, it's the perfect dramatic moment. 😏

Anything can happen from here, and I so hope you enjoy the rest of the ride down the cliffhanger!! 😘💕

Every Second Counts - Part 3

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him. 

AN: *Deep breaths* Are you ready? 😉

Word Count: 4.4K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, protective Russell, perilous situations, violence, character death, and another (literal) cliffhanger…

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Part 3: "Timer Starts Now"

As he drove away from the museum, Colter could see it even more clearly. 

“You like her,” he said, giving his older brother a smile. 

Russell glanced at him, then rolled his eyes. 

“Focus on the road,” he said. 

“Just admit it. You like her,” Colter smirked. “And the fact that she called you for help isn’t a coincidence.”

Russell made a sound of annoyance and shook his head. At this point, he knew Colter wasn’t going to drop the subject.

“All right, we went out on one date,” Russell held up a finger. “It was fun, but we agreed that I’m just not relationship material.”

Colter sobered at that, at the wry tone of his voice. It sounded like Russell liked you even more than he was willing to admit.

“Do you have a timeline on that brewery?” Colter asked.

Russell chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah, I’m just a few dollars short on that one.”

He stared out the window for a while, but he eventually turned back to his brother.

“She called me because her brother’s a vet. Because I know what it’s like to deal with the assimilation process, coming back to civilian life. Trying to figure out where you belong, you know?” he said.

“You think you’ve assimilated?” Colter asked.

Russell shrugged. “Best I know how, anyway.”

“You can’t really call yourself a civilian though, can you?” Colter pointed out. 

Russell shot him a look. “Yeah well, neither can you, Colt.”

That created a kind of tension in the car. A call from Bobby, Colter’s analyst, mercifully broke the silence. He’d gotten some useful information on Eddie Mendez, the man Charlie was supposedly working with, or for.

“Well, he’s not the most upstanding citizen,” Bobby said. “He’s a cocaine dealer by trade. Other fun items on his rap sheet include illegal gun possession, theft, and domestic violence.”

“All right, thanks, Bobby,” Colter said.

Great, Russell shook his head. Just what had your brother gotten himself into?

They were getting closer to the bar, and it mentally brought him back to his date with you.

Okay, maybe he did like you. But he also respected and understood your reasons for cutting things short that night. Usually, he was okay with being in a new town every other week, the occasional one-night stands, the skeevy motel rooms and the fast food. It was all with a goal in mind, and that made the hustle easier.

He’d started to wonder though, what it would be like to set down roots somewhere. Doug made it work with his wife and still did his contract work, even if there were some major pros and cons to that too…

Russell was only broken out of his thoughts when he got a call himself, from Dory. He answered it and held the phone to his ear.

“Hey, D. What’s up?” he asked.

“Russell, something’s wrong,” she said. Her voice was panicked.

He frowned, his brows furrowing. “What? What happened?”

The more he listened, the more his eyes widened in shock. He looked to his brother.

“Colter, turn around. Now.”

Russell and Colter arrived back at your house, where Dory was parked out front. She came out of the safety of her car when she saw them. Russell got to her first. He laid a hand on her shoulder in the driveway.

“What happened?” he asked. 

She tearfully explained that she found your purse in the bushes, but your phone was missing. She had just picked up your call when it suddenly cut off. 

“But I heard her scream,” Dory said, with a stifled breath.

Russell’s mood darkened in response, and the longer he took in the scene. He looked over at Colter, who also wore a frown. 

The tracker examined your car and driveway first. Already he found signs of struggle. He noticed a couple pieces of dark glass on the pavement, and when he scrutinized his surroundings further, he picked your broken phone out of the grass. The screen was cracked beyond repair.

Next, he climbed the three short steps of the porch, up to the front door of the house. There were marks on the doorknob, likely scratched by a key. He spotted the Ring Camera next.

Good. He took it right off the wall.  

“Do you have her keys there?” he asked his sister. Dory handed them to him and he let himself in. “Let’s see what we’re dealing with.”

The three of them entered your house and found it dark and empty. Colter switched the lights on and got to work, after going back to grab his laptop from the car.

Russell stayed with his sister on the couch, a supportive hand on her back. He tried to shove his anger and upset deeper below the surface.

Meanwhile, Colter had Bobby retrieve the data from the camera. Within a few minutes, he sent Colter a video file, which Colter then played on his laptop. The three of them watched you approach the door.

Someone with a man’s build grabbed you from behind, wearing dark clothes and a mask that obscured his face. You screamed and tried to fight, but the man dragged you away as you struggled.

Russell’s frown deepened as his body tensed with anger again, his jaw ticking as it clenched. And then came the self-loathing.

Rookie fucking move. Should’ve made sure she got home safe, he thought. Better yet, should’ve kept her with me.

Dory covered her trembling mouth and dissolved into tears. Russell tucked her against his side, rubbing her arm. Colter laid a hand on her shoulder as well, but he continued to analyze the footage. He couldn’t make out the attacker’s face with the mask he was wearing, but Colter saw a blue sedan in the background. It peeled off after you were hauled off-screen.  

“Why would they take her? What the hell is Charlie into?” Dory said. She sniffled and wiped at her face.

“To keep her quiet after she started digging into his disappearance, possibly. Or for leverage against him,” Colter said, leveling her with honesty. “Someone doesn’t want us to find Charlie. I’m betting it’s whoever he’s working for.”

He thought it was safer if he didn’t tell his sister exactly who Charlie’s employer was.  

Dory shook her head in worry. “We need to call the police.”

Colter shared a grim look with his brother. He knew Russell understood the score here. 

“If we get the police involved, it’s at least a 50% chance that whoever has her and Charlie…will kill both of them,” Colter said. Dory sucked in a trembling breath. 

“Our best bet is to keep digging,” Colter said.

“Let’s go,” Russell said, nodding at him. He stood, parting from his sister with a hand squeezing her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Dory asked. She got up to her feet along with her brothers.

“Howley’s. It’s our only lead on Charlie’s employer,” Colter replied. 

“Okay, but wait—” Dory reached out for Russell’s arm. It was a reflex as she tried to wrap her mind around all of this. 

Russell grasped her shoulders gently enough, but he made sure she saw the sense of urgency in his eyes.

“We don’t have time,” he said. “From here on out, every second counts.” 

After a beat, Dory nodded in acceptance. She let go of his jacket. 

“Okay, keep me updated.”

“Will do,” he said, and he swiftly followed Colter out the door.

The brothers drove in silence to the bar. Colter noted his brother’s tension, and the grim set to his jaw. 

“Hey,” Colter said, earning Russell’s attention. Colter gave him a reassuring look. “We’re gonna find her. We’ll find both of them.”

Russell exhaled. “Yeah.”  

Oh, he knew he’d find you eventually, and your brother. He just didn’t want to think about how he might find you.

Once they got back to Howley’s, they started by questioning the bartender about Eddie Mendez. 

“He’s not here. But that’s a couple of his friends over there,” the bartender said. He pointed them in the direction of a couple of guys drinking near the back. Three of them were sitting at a table playing cards. 

Russell recognized two of them. One was the same guy who made the mistake of hassling you by the pool table. He’d gotten a bloody nose for his trouble. Russell smirked at the memory. 

“Pete, make a fucking move already,” said one of the guy’s buddies.

Russell caught it as he and Colter approached them. This time, Pete seemed at least somewhat sober, even with his second beer in hand. Another bottle sat empty beside his arm.

“Hey, fellas,” Russell greeted the table. “Little Blackjack, little booze. Looks like a good night you’re having.”

“Do I know you?” Pete asked. His face showed a spark of recognition when he took in Russell. 

“Well, you’re about to. We’re looking for one of your friends, Eddie,” he replied. 

Pete set his beer down on the table. Predictably, he crossed his arms and closed up.

“I don’t know no Eddie.”

Russell resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I realize it’s hard for you, but don’t be dumb. Eddie Mendez,” he pressed. 

Pete glanced at his friends, then he stood from the table, drawing himself to his full height. He was a bit bigger than Russell, but a beer gut wasn’t everything.  

Russell seized up the man in front of him with an almost lazy grin. By contrast, his eyes were sharp, betraying his true thoughts. 

“Now remember. Whatever you start, I’m gonna damn well finish,” he said. 

That sure ignited Pete’s memory. He seemed to be remembering your smaller fist nearly breaking his nose. His face fell with an angry frown. Russell smirked.

Colter laid a warning hand on his brother’s arm.

“We’re not looking for trouble. We’re just trying to find someone Eddie might know. Charlie,” Colter said. “Do you know him?”

“No, I don’t,” Pete claimed.  

“Like you didn’t know Eddie?” Colter replied, raising a brow. “Where can we find him?”

“Now you are looking for trouble,” Pete spat. “Fuck off, Timberlake.”

Just then, Colter’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out and saw a text from Dory, asking for an update. He ignored the message for now and put his phone away.

Hearing a commotion, he quickly looked up in time to realize that Russell had wrangled Pete into a stronghold with his arm behind his back and had slammed him onto the table. Drinks and bottles rattled and spilled; playing cards fell to the floor. Pete’s friends got up with angry, threatening gaits.

“I think you can point us in the right direction before I break this meaty arm of yours. How about that?” Russell said. 

“Hey! No fighting!” the bartender called from the front. “Take that shit outside.”

Colter internally sighed, but he’d have to roll with this, even though this wasn’t how he’d wanted to play it. 

“I wouldn’t test him,” Colter advised. “That’s gonna be a bad break. You got good health insurance, Pete? You’ll probably need surgery, expensive bills, a little physical therapy, a few months of recovery time.”

Pete seemed to weigh Colter’s logic, albeit with an angry huff. He waved off his friends and caught his breath while pinned against the table. 

“I can’t talk to you,” he said. “I’ll get myself killed.”

“I’d worry more about your odds right now, Pete,” Russell said. He tightened his twisted hold on the man’s arm, earning a strangled sound of pain. 

Colter weighed the options here in record time, and he came to a decision. He grasped Russell’s arm firmly.

“Let him go,” he said.  

Russell gave him a look of disbelief. “Colt?”

Colter implored him with his eyes. Trust me.

After a few more seconds, Russell’s lips pursed, but he let the guy go. 

“Ah, fuck,” Pete muttered. After he was able to straighten up, he rubbed his aching arm and shot them both a red-faced glare. 

Colter steered his brother out of the bar before a real fight could break out. He knew it’d become a bloody mess, and they didn’t have time for a night stay in a county jail cell this time.  

“You better have a damn plan,” Russell whispered, as they neared the front doors of the bar.

“You know I do,” Colter replied.

They later sat in his truck while it was still turned off. Just waiting in silence.

A few minutes went by before the back doors of the bar opened to Pete and his gaggle of delinquent friends. As Colter suspected, one of them made a call. It lasted no more than a couple of minutes. Then, they piled into Pete’s car and pulled out of the parking lot.

Colter started up his own car, and he followed them.

You were led into what sounded like a warehouse. You couldn’t know for sure with this musty bag over your head and your wrists bound together with zip ties, but you clenched your teeth and tried to stop sniffling. Your fear made your heart pump fast and loud in your ears.

Voices echoed around you, arguing, yelling about shipments. You were shoved hard to the ground, and you gasped, instinctively throwing your hands out when your knees hit the hard cement. 

“No…” 

That voice was all too familiar. 

The bag was finally ripped off your head, the edge of it catching in your frizzy hair. You blinked wearily at the florescent lights above, and you wiped at your tears and smudged mascara. Your breath left your lungs when you saw your brother, Charlie. 

He was tied to a chair, shirtless and shoeless, beaten and bloody. Some parts of his skin even looked burned. His jeans remained, at least. But his face was hard to look at. His left eye was swollen, his lip split, his cheek cut and bloody. Both his eyes were red-rimmed, and he was sweaty and dirty, as if they’d been keeping him down here like an animal. He looked thinner too.

He stared back at you in dismay, your name falling from his lips.

You tried to scramble over to him, but someone grabbed you by the hair and yanked you back. You cried out in pain.

“Eddie stop! Don’t hurt her!” he shouted. He drew enough strength to pull at his restraints. Your hands reached back on reflex to grasp at the hand holding your hair. 

“No, you did this,” Eddie said. He clicked the safety off his handgun and pointed the barrel at your head, right between the eyes. You gasped and froze where you sat. 

“You couldn’t make it easy, huh? Well now, I’m making it real simple for you,” he continued. “Even more simple, now that we cut out the middleman.”

Eddie gestured to what looked like a woven potato sack laid behind Charlie’s chair, but really, that was just part of it. As your eyes scanned over, you saw the narrow shoulders of a man with a familiar dark blue blazer. It was stained red with a bloody hole carved through the back. Your breath stilled in your lungs.

Eddie glanced over at you, his lips curving. He walked over to the dead body, turned it over with his boot, and dragged off the potato sack to reveal the lifeless blue eyes of Dr. Feinman.

Your eyes widened.

You let out a blood-curdling scream that startled a pigeon out of the warehouse, from where it had been perching on a high support ledge. You leaned back on your bound hands, but you could go no further as one of Eddie’s men grabbed your shoulder, pinning you on the ground. His annoyed face told you to shut the fuck up.

Charlie grimaced and turned his face from the sight of the body. Both shame and hate filled his eyes when Eddie bent down to face him.

“Tell me where you hid the goddamn weapons,” he demanded.

Your lips trembled as new tears brimmed over and streamed down your cheeks. You’d suspected the truth, but it was different from being faced with the reality. Charlie was the one who stole from the museum. He’d likely been doing a lot worse for the past few months. And somehow, Feinman had gotten in between. He’d also paid the price.

Your brother saw your disappointment, and he accepted it. But lacking an answer, Eddie pistol whipped you in the face, earning a pained cry from you as you fell back onto the ground. You had to blink the stars out of your eyes.

After his shock wore off, Charlie’s face hardened with fury.

“Oh, don’t give me that fucking face,” Eddie said. He grabbed you by the back of the neck, startling another sharp breath from you. “If you don’t tell me what I want to know, what I did to you’ll be child’s play, compared to what I’m gonna do to her. And you’re going to watch.”

Against your will, tears filled your eyes while you stared at your brother. You were terrified, and Charlie knew it. He was scared too, but he also knew then what he had to do.

“I buried them,” he admitted. 

“You buried them?” Eddie repeated. He brushed back his dark hair with the same hand that held his gun. “Ain’t that ironic. All right, where did you bury them?”

“In the national forest, less than an hour out,” Charlie replied. “But you won’t find it without me.” 

Eddie shook his head on a sigh. “Of fucking course.”

He gestured to his men waiting nearby. He wordlessly gave them the order to untie your brother. 

“All right, Charlie. Let’s go for a drive,” he said, and gave you a sleazy smile. “You too, sweetheart.”

He hauled you up onto your feet and kept you close to him, with a hand like a vice around your arm. God, you hated a sweethearting man.

You held your breath. You could only pray that Dory had noticed you were missing…and that Russell and Colter could find you before it was too late.

Please…

It was still dark out, but the sky was beginning to lighten when Colter pulled to the side of the road. The car they followed had stopped in front of a warehouse near an industrial downtown area. Colter spotted the blue sedan from the Ring Camera footage. It was parked out front. 

With a shared nod of understanding, Colter and Russell climbed out of the truck and took the time to arm themselves properly before scoping out the warehouse.

“What does a drug cartel want with museum artifacts?” Russell remarked as they were gearing up. “That’s still not adding up for me.”

“It is odd, but maybe the idea came from Charlie,” Colter said. “He had access. Maybe he saw it as a way to buy their trust.”

“Okay, then what went wrong? Why’d they take her?” Russell replied. “I don’t know, man. Something feels off here.”

Colter nodded in agreement. “We don’t have all the pieces yet.”

But they were about to get them. They moved closer to the warehouse, with Russell heading towards a side door and Colter going around the back. They saw a few men crowded around a TV in the corner of the warehouse. Behind them were crates upon crates of what surely was product. Probably tens of thousands worth of coke.

Jesus, Russell thought. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before, but still. This was a serious operation.

Colter caught sight of a lone chair under a bright corner of the room. It was stained with sweat and blood, and some cut ropes hung from the seat. He alerted Russell to the scene with a subtle gesture of his raised gun. Russell’s face turned grim. He nodded minimally, then pointed with his eyes at the group of unsuspecting men. The brothers drew in closer.

Russell fired a shot directly into the TV screen, making it crash onto the ground. The men startled like rats, but they soon faced Russell and Colter’s guns. When one of them reached for the gun tucked in their pants, Colter aimed directly at him.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Colter warned. 

“Where’s Charlie?” Russell demanded. “And his sister.”

He aimed his .45 caliber M1911 at their friend Pete, who had Cheeto stains on his shirt. 

“How about you, Pete. You finally wanna share with the class, before I blow your fucking face off?!” Russell shouted. 

The depths of his voice reverberated widely in the warehouse. It set the tone for things to come, if he didn’t get some cooperation.

Pete shifted on his feet, betraying his nerves. His forehead was starting to sweat too. 

“They’re not here,” he admitted. “They left a while ago.”

Russell flexed his finger over the trigger of his gun. 

“Tell me where,” he said.

Eddie wasn’t exactly an outdoorsy kind of guy. He kicked his boot against a tree while leaning against it.

“Fucking rock in my shoe,” he muttered angrily.

He was getting more and more frustrated with the uneven terrain (and the mosquitos) the longer the five of you trekked onwards: including you, Charlie, Eddie, and two of his men, Rick and Kevin. Both of them had guns trained on your back and Charlie’s. 

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said quietly to you.

You shook your head. Disappointment didn’t even begin to cover what you were feeling as you looked at him, but at least they’d given him a shirt to cover his beaten torso. His face wasn't so lucky.

He righted you when you struggled on the gravel and loose dirt in your ankle boots. Your hands were still tied together too.

“What the hell happened to you?” you asked, as you caught your breath. 

“I needed the money,” he said, though he knew it wasn’t an excuse. “I was his bodyguard.”

“He’s a drug dealer,” you snapped. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“He was my dealer,” he admitted, though his gaze was heavy. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you, but…a few weeks after I left rehab, I slipped. I never really did quit. Just got better at hiding it.” 

You let out a sharp breath, and tried to blink past your tears. Another disappointment, another heartbreak for the books.

“But when he offered me a job to pay off what I owed, he wanted insurance that I’d stick around. To prove myself,” Charlie explained. “He came up with the idea to rob the museum.”

“Why was Dr. Feinman involved? Did he find out?” you asked.

Charlie nodded with a sigh. “He caught me the first time I tried to steal the artifacts. I…I lied. Told him we planned to sell them. So instead of turning me in, he wanted to be cut into the deal.”

“What? Why?” you said. Your former boss was many things—a stuffy, self-important man chief among them—but you’d never taken him for a thief.

Charlie gave you a wry look. “Owed his second wife up to his eyeballs. Alimony’s a real bitch.”

You shook your head. That explained why Charlie hadn’t yet been a suspect in the theft. Feinman had probably helped cover Charlie’s tracks. But whatever shortcomings Feinman had, he hadn’t deserved to die like that. A shudder went through your body, remembering his lifeless eyes. You breathed out slowly and tried to rid yourself of the nightmarish image. You managed to push past that to ask your next question.

“And who chose the Native American weapons?”

Charlie’s lips pursed. He glanced over his shoulder. “He did. Thought they looked cool.”

Eddie smirked and waved his gun at him, spurring you both onward. Charlie kept walking and turned his attention back to you. 

“The way I figured it, the museum shouldn’t have them anyway.” 

Your lips pursed at that. You sort of saw his point there, however convoluted his justification, but putting those artifacts in the hands of a drug dealer was even worse.

“And this is so much better for them,” you said pointedly. 

“That’s why I couldn’t go through with it. Tried to get out of the whole damn mess,” he said. “I know what you would’ve said to me. And I knew if I ever saw you again, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes.”

Your tears welled up again, when you saw the sincerity of his gaze.

“Okay, this touching little scene is making my balls itch,” Eddie said. He grabbed Charlie’s shoulder and turned him around. “Where the fuck are we going? If you’re trying to pull something smartass here, Charlie, I promise you, you’re gonna regret it.”

He cocked the safety back on his gun and pointed it at Charlie’s chest. Charlie raised slow, placating hands.

“It’s just a little further,” he promised. 

“If you’re giving me the runaround—” Eddie started.

“Then what? Without me, you’ll never find it,” Charlie barked back. 

Eddie’s face tightened, and he pointed the gun at you instead. You sucked in a breath.

Charlie quickly held up his bound hands again in surrender. After a beat of tension, he pointed up when he heard rushing water. 

“Hear that?” he said. “I buried it on a cliff near a waterfall. We’re getting close.”

Another stretch of silence filled the clearing. 

Eddie weighed Charlie’s words. When he was mollified enough, he lowered his gun away from you. At his command, Rick and Kevin kept you and your brother moving. 

Charlie glanced to his right side. He realized that you all were walking near the edge of a steep hill that careened downward. Taking in a breath to center himself, he turned to you.

“I love you, you know that?” he whispered.

Your brows furrowed. You opened your mouth to reply, but you found the look in his eyes suspicious. Like he was saying goodbye. 

That was when he swiftly turned. He snapped the heel of his hand into Kevin's throat and grabbed his gun while he was choking. Charlie shot him in the chest, then he clipped Rick in the shoulder. 

Just as Eddie began to raise his own weapon, Charlie met your look of shock with his own determination. 

He pushed you down the hill.

AN: I know, I know. Two cliffhangers in a row is cruel, but I promise we're getting to even more fun action and cathartic moments in Part 4! 😘

Next Time:

Russell called your name as he searched through the dense trees. Sunlight was beginning to filter through their leaves in dappled color on the trail. It gave him a better view ahead.

He stopped short when he saw a splatter of blood on the ground, painting the dirt and some dead leaves. A well of unease rose in his gut.

He headed toward the sound of running water, and he soon found another cliff. Just beyond it was a waterfall, and river below. Seeing no signs of life, he pulled back and continued to call your name, and all the while, pushing down his worry.

“Russell?!”

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 4

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[ghostkid9]

I finally got to tell my manager how much his support means to me. Not to the full extent I wanted but he’s more of an “actions speak louder than words” kind of guy and he sees how much I care through my actions, and he appreciates what I said. It was nice to voice it and finally talk it out.

[joelsflower]

little present | bfd!joel x f!reader

you were sure christmas’s night would be, as it always is since you’ve been by yourself, boring. that’s only until sarah invites you to the miller’s house and joel makes it his mission to unwrap more than one present til midnight.

an: okay i know we’re in APRIL lmaoo sorry but read it now!! reread it in december!! do whatever!! hope u like it!! :^) also i apologize if i’m still mistaking “in/on/at” a bit too much, i’m still learning the language :/ hope it’s not too bad and doesn’t influence badly on your reading tho! no beta ops

wc: uhh… 5k maybe?

tw: titty sucking and pussy fingering combo (yay!), beginning of blowjob but that’s it, soft dom!joel, older!joel (nothing illegal pls), best friend’s dad, teasing, reader is able bodied, afab but not described; there’s one part where “your smaller body” is used but just to point she was smaller than joel. image also does not describe reader, only for visuals. no y/n. ALSO. weather not described!! shout out to us latinas who go through christmas sweating and panting 🫡 it can be snowing too tho up to you

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You knocked three times on the door; unsure if it would sound impatient or even be heard due to the loud music and chatting coming from the inside. Sarah didn’t lie about the whole family coming this year for Christmas.

By the look on Joel’s face when he opened the door, your three knocks sounded more like the angels singing.

His big brown eyes lit up like candlelight when they found you. For a moment, you stood there in silent, letting him get drunk in your sight and you in his. The puffy bags under his eyes let you know it was a rough week, a rough week without you. The raspy, yet-to-make scruff adorning his cheeks and neck inciting your skin without even being near it. His calloused knuckles gripped the doorknob and the muscle on his bicep swelled, making your mouth water.

You let your eyes dance from his salt and pepper curls and finally to the little bit of chest peaking from the deep red plaid shirt, and when your eyes found his he broke the spell, letting out what seemed to be the first breath he took since he opened the door.

“Hi, sweetheart. Didn’t know Sarah invited you.” he shrugged weirdly, hand resting on his hip and the other on the door, like he was nervous. Due to college and construction, it’s been around one week since you’ve properly seen each other — it seemed like a whole year.

“Oh, hey santa” you joked, soft voice coaxing his tired ears, nodding to the santa hat hugging his curls. Suddenly, it was like he remembered he was wearing it and took it off, shoving it in his back pocket while making a face, biting back a smile when your giggle hit his ears.

“Uh- yeah, I wasn’t on the plans I think,” your fingers carved on the plate in your hand, and he gave you a “stop that” face, “she just called me last minute. But I have this!” you shook the plate of cookies a little, making it be noticed.

“Didn’t need t’bring anything, ya know. Just you’s enough.” silence once again put itself between the two of you, and if you were losing your mind, Joel could bet he was losing his a lot more harder. Opening the door to find the only sight that could relief his tired eyes on a beautiful red dress that hugged your body perfectly, matching see-through black thighs that allowed him to see just enough to drive him crazy and the need for comfort that he could well read in your gaze was not on his list, but was definitely a present.

Not being able to properly talk or touch you was feeling more like being on santa’s badlist, though. And maybe it was what he deserved, he thought, for fucking his daughter’s best friend and enjoying it so much.

You brought him back to life. What was he supposed to do if not give you the world and the best orgasms in it?

“Uh- come on in, then” he shook his desire away, holding the door open and watching as you passed by him.

One foot past the door and the chatter got louder. Uncles and sisters and cousins of cousins of cousins — there were a lot of Millers in this world, and all of them would be a problem if you wanted just a bit of closeness to Joel tonight.

“Thank you, Mr. Miller,” you looked up at him shyly, hoping treating him more formally would get you away in case anyone heard anything. Joel, on the other side, could not be less subtle while losing control of how hard he closed the door when your silky voice hit his ears, saying his name, thanking him. Just like you did when he held your wrists up your head and made your foggy bambi eyes roll back your head.

“Here,” he took the santa hat in his hands, stepping closer to put it in your head. The way his fingers carefully put your hair behind your ear set your body on fire, just the slight brush of its tips on your earlobe, the soft but swift strokes on your scalp to put your hair in place sending cold breezes up and down your spine.

“I missed you,” you whispered, lashes flourishing while your fingers boldly played the buttons of his flannel. You just needed to touch him.

But he didn’t answer right away, too focused on “putting the damn thing on your head”, which translates to an excuse to caressing your face and being close enough your sweet, peachy smell invaded his nostrils and messed with his brain chemistry.

“All done” your glossy eyes and quivering lips broke his heart in a million; all he wanted to do was take you in his arms right there. “Later, angel” he reassured you, taking your hand off of his shirt and giving you a softer look, that you knew was his way of apologising and comforting you for now. It was too risky, you knew that too.

“Oh gosh, you’re here, finally!” Sarah jumped on you for a hug, scaring the two of you, her bubbly energy warming you up. “Jesus dad, knew you’d hate it,” she gestured to the hat on your head, filling your mind with thoughts of him. “C’mon, you need to meet cousin Maria!” she dragged you away, the only thing connecting you to Joel being the lingering gaze you’d share for the rest of the night.

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“Ha! Remember that, brother?” Tommy laughed about a story old enough to be your age; about one time him, Joel and their other cousin Frank went fishing and something apparently went wrong, you weren’t really paying attention though.

Not when Joel’s hand had found your knee under the table.

You just had to sit by his side cause Sarah wanted to be close to Maria that was close to Tommy that was close to someone else and the seat by Joel’s side ended up being the only one empty.

“Sit there by dad’s side, he doesn’t care. Here, gimme this,” she took the plate of sweets from your hands, setting it on the table. Joel, who was praying someone could come save him from hearing the same story for the 10th time, made space for you to pull the chair and accommodate your smaller figure by his side.

Around ten minutes into chatting with Sarah and Maria and taking food from left to right on the table, you felt his knee brush yours. The simple warmth of physical connection between the two of you made your whole body vigilant, in hopes for some more.

“Ya should be there, Sarah. Never not funny seeing your old man struggling t’get some fish” Tommy looked towards you, meeting Sarah’s and Maria’s giggles. Joel bit back a laugh, it was funny, yes, but he didn’t want to look like a stupid old man to you. That’s when you met him with a small smile and a brush of your thigh on his, inviting his hand to instinctively envelope your knee.

“Oh, I’ve seen him struggle to do less, believe me”

And I’ve seen him do more with the stamina of a teenage boy, you thought.

Joel’s hand snaked up a bit more into your leg, always careful to not be seen, but stern enough to make you feel him, invading the area of your inner thigh and dragging your dress up a little. The warmth of his large palm against the material pressing at your skin was driving you insane, the way his fingers were digging into your soft but covered flesh and his thumb squeezing at your outer thigh making your core pulse and the hairs at your neck stir up.

Mine, ran through his head.

“Both of you are on my badlist tonight, hope y’know that” he seriously pointed at Sarah and Tommy, giving them an angry-like look and the ones around you bursted laughing. You reached down a hand to lay on top of his, your smaller fingers gripping his much bigger pointer one, his thumb immediately brushing your hand, his way of saying “you’re not”.

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“I think I need some air” you told Sarah as you got up from the couch and released her hand. Your tummy was full and your eyes were starting to get heavy. From the other side of the room, Joel’s eyes followed you to the balcony.

The peace of the outside of the house was everything you needed, trying to keep your mind from the trap of going into the Joel Joel Joel Joel to risky risky risky spiral. The moon lit up the sky and kissed your rosy cheeks, the singing of the crickets taking you away from all the buzz.

Just when you closed your eyes and breathed in the december air, you jumped when a strong hold surrounded your waist, the warmth of his chest hugging your back.

“Jesus, I— they’ll see us” you panicked.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” his other hand spread to pet on your tummy, paired with a kiss to your temple, “I checked, no one’s near. Wouldn’t want t’share you with anyone though, would I? Looking like my own little cherry on this dress” his fingers gripped the dress deep, sliding it up and down your waist a bit.

“I missed you so much” you turned around in his hold, arms wrapping around his neck and tugging at the curls at the base of his scalp. On your tiptoes you glued your body to his, closest as you could get, taking in the strong smell of his cologne that made your insides twirl. One of his hands danced down your spine to rest on your lower back, while the other held the back of your neck.

“Oh angel, missed you too, s’much. Can’t go a day without thinking about you, little one.” His deep voice whispered on your ear. Joel firmed his feet on the ground and swayed your bodies slowly left to right, calming you down. “Thinking about holding you, having you with me. About hearing your voice call me from the other side of the house and moan my name when I’m knuckle deep inside ya’”

“Joel!” You snapped his arm a little, staring into his eyes in disbelief.

“Am I lying?” he looked down at you with his rounded brown eyes, the same that could get you on your knees, mouth hanging open, with this exact same look he was giving you now. You shook your head slowly, fingers anchoring his shirt, “know you love it, baby, I love it too. Shit, should’ve found a way to see you earlier. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He rested his forehead on yours.

You distanced your head back and looked towards the living room, checking to see if you were still safe from prying eyes “want more of you,” you whispered.

Joel smirked, “Later baby, ‘kay?”

You stared up at him, no confirmation.

“Hm? Can you be my good girl and be patient?” He held your chin up with his thumb and pointer, forcing your gaze to be on his and nowhere else, “G’na be worth the wait, promise. But you need to be good f’me. Can you do that?”

“I can” you murmured, eyes closing as his hands found your sides and gave them a firm squeeze.

“Know y’can, darling. My best girl.”

🌹🌹🌹

“Shhh, c’mon angel. Know these precious little sounds belong to me only,” Joel’s deepened voice vibrated on your neck, his teeth grazing the soft skin and making your head go foggy.

It was a combination of it all, to be honest; his hot mouth and beard on your neck, you only in your underwear and thighs and him fully clothed, his thumbs mercilessly circling your nipples through your bra and his very hard bulge grinding against your pussy and his whole weight pressing you down against his bed.

It started when you both came back to the living room — in separate moments, of course — and then you needed to go the bathroom but the one downstairs was occupied and Joel suddenly needed to check on something very important in his room.

“P-Please, Joel,” you cooed, the pool in your cunt becoming unbearable, your wetness overtaking your poor excuse of panties and messing the front of his jeans.

“‘S okay baby, gonna take care of you,” he gave your mouth a peck, hands releasing your stiffed nipples to hold your face in his hand so his tongue could invade your mouth. “I’ma bad old man, ain’t I? Making my little girl wait for so long to feel good. Fisting my cock the whole week, thinking ‘bout this pussy swallowing me in. Bad, bad man.” you shook your head no in a desperate side-to-side move, fingers gripping his shoulders, as if taking his shirt off, but his force was pinning you down just right.

A sudden grind of his hips into yours and tears pooled on your waterlines, your hands stilling and your throat holding back a moan while Joel groaned at the feeling of his hard cock rocking against you. “That’s what you want, isn’t it, princess? To feel so, so good?” Another desperate nod. “Shh, c’mon baby. G’na make you cum for the week we lost.”

Joel used his hands to lift you by your armpits and sit you against his headboard, lowering his body and dragging your lacy thighs with him, torturously slowly. Now he was face-to-face with your covered pussy, “oh, poor baby. Feel her, angel,” he pressed his thumb up and down your core, your wetness gluing your panties to your slit, overflowing a bit around the lacy edges. “So desperate to be touched, ain’t she? Just waiting for me to take care of her. I will baby, don’t worry. Been such a good little girl f’me. Gonna stuff you full in a minute”

He finally tangled his fingers on the thin stripes of your panties, but first giving the little bow on top of it a little kiss. “My little present,” he murmured, more to himself then to you, but smirking when your core pulsed with his words.

The moment Joel’s fingers slid the lace down your legs and his hot breath ghosted your pussy, you were a goner; all your fuzzy brain could focus on were the strong pressure of his tongue on your clit and his fingers patiently circling your hole.

“Let me in, angel,” he begged and started to push two of his digits inside your pussy, his head now on the level of your cleavage, keeping himself from missing the reaction of his own little Christmas angel being finger fucked by him.

Your eyes screwed shut and your mouth fell open, making a little “o” shape when two of his thick fingers spread you open all at once, making you just so full. “My tight little princess,” he cooed, looking down at your pussy swallowing his fingers in and out, your juice covering his knuckles with each pump, deeper and deeper. The slick sounds of the obscene act you two were dwelling in almost distracted you from hearing Joel’s “who’s pussy is this?”

Instead of answering, your smaller hands held his face and pulled him into a kiss, a very wet, hot kiss, his tongue making home for itself inside your mouth and twirling around your own, teeth grazing at your lower lip hard enough to leave a mark and soft enough to leave you wanting more.

“It’s yours, Joel,” you finally gave him what he wanted, a string of spit connecting the two of you.

“Tha’s my girl.” He curled his fingers to brush at that spot that made your head cloudy and the back of your eyelids starry, pulling the sweetest, most desperate moan from your wet lips (both of them). “And tha’s my pussy, hm?” He watch attentively as your eyes got too hazy and your mouth too open to process what he was saying, “poor little thing, so good can’t even think straight.”

You caught Joel by surprise though, when your hand found his clothed cock, giving your best to grab at it as hard as you could, stroking him with your palm and thumb. Even so lazily, the action drove him crazy enough to lose himself in your neck, fingers still fucking your pussy full and beard leaving marks all over your skin.

Joel allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of your hot, pulsing cunt strangling his fingers and your small hand palming his cock to lower his head a little bit, teeth pulling your excuse of a bra to the side (or trying).

“J-Joel,” you plead, the delicate lace of your lingerie ripping like paper in between his teeth.

“G’na get you a new one, love. Lot’s of new ones.” He spent no time, greedily sucking one of your tits into his mouth, tongue languidly abusing your nipple. His mustache hurting the soft skin of the area while his warm spit and velvety lips caressed the burn.

Feeling your pussy pulse and pull him hard, Joel increased the pace of his fingers inside you and directed his attention to your other boob too, his spit lingering all over your chest. “Pussy gripping me real tight, baby, wanna cum, don’t ya? I’ll let ya, c’mon. Cum all over me, little girl.”

And you did. Pussy squirming his fingers and almost making them a part of your own body, lips hanging open with nonsense babble followed by muffled moans and cries, nipples stiff and hard by the overstimulation.

His own little present, as he himself put. All for him.

Joel helped you calm down with sweet kisses to your cheeks and lots of “did so good to me, my little angel”, “missed you having you like this”, “my best girl, makes me so happy, baby”.

“Y’with me?” he nosed at your temple and noticed your eyes turn brighter, the small nod of your head bringing you back to a fully conscious state of mind.

“Open.” he positioned the tip of the fingers that were once inside you on your lower lip, your mouth instinctively hanging open to welcome him inside. “That’s it, ‘atta girl,” he rewarded as you sucked his fingers clean from your own mess, realising why his eyes became so dark with the action.

He hadn’t come yet.

You pulled your mouth from his fingers and kneeled between him and the bed, hands gripping his bulge shamelessly.

“Still gotta clean you up, angel. C’mon, we can do that later. Jus’ wanted t’take care of you.” he held your chin up to gather your attention, a failed attempt, you knew he needed it as much as you.

“‘S okay, I wanna. Just gonna suck on it a little.”

“My sweet girl,” Joel complimented as his palm held the whole side of your face, your bambi gaze distracting him while you worked both his pants and underwear down his legs.

With your mouth only inches away from his girthy, veiny cock that was proudly bouncing in front of your face, you gripped at the thick hairs at his base and gave the swollen, ruddy tip a mouth-open kiss, silky lips enveloping the head while his precum oozed down your tongue and a deep groan left his throat, your fingers gripping his base as your thumbs caressed his balls. You found his gaze again, pulling the most sincere, grateful and innocent look you had.

“Merry Christmas, Joel.”

🌹🌹🌹

[strniohoeee]

Mortified

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: This is pure self indulgence LMAOO. This is literally a dumb idea I had from the song Face Down, like idk Matt’s so shy like you just know he goes to POUNDTOWNNN🧎🏽‍♀️💍

Warnings⚠️: It’s suggestive they talk about sex, and sexual experiences, but there’s no actual sex happening in this one

Song for the imagine: Face Down-MCVERTT, A$AP Ferg, Sexyy Red

⚠️Suggestive, but not smut⚠️

Bend her over, make her scream

Pillow full of Maybelline

Give me rocks until the top, teach

Her how to make cream

Currently I was at the triplets house with Madi and Nate. We were all chilling in the living room telling embarrassing stories while we waited for Matt to come back from his meeting with dinner for us

“Okay most embarrassing high school experience” Nate asked us

“To be honest I don’t remember” Chris said

“I think the most embarrassing thing was having that fuck ass haircut” Nick said laughing

“I think everything I did in high school was embarrassing” Madi said

“Ouu embarrassing….hmm I think it was the time I asked out this “popular” guy infront of all his popular friends and he rejected me” I said laughing and covering my face in embarrassment

“In front of the whole squad?? You have some balls” Chris said laughing

“I don’t even know why I did it” I said shaking my head

We were telling each other more embarrassing stories until it suddenly became sexual.

“Craziest sex story” Madi asked us

“There was this one time this guy was fucking me while his sister was sleeping right infront of us” Nick said

“THE FUCK? Where were you” Nate asked him

“I was in his living room, and his sister was knocked out cold on the floor in front of us” Nick said laughing

“Are you sure she was sleeping?” I asked him laughing

“Yeah…she could’ve been awake but too scared to interrupt y’all” Madi said laughing

“No like she was knocked out…like snoring and everything” he said shrugging his shoulders

“So anyways poor girl, how about you Chris?” I asked

“Yoo there was this one time I was fucking this girl, and she asked to ride so I was aii bet. We switch she starts riding, and yoooo she was riding like I swore I was levitating, but anyways this girl suddenly spat on me” Chris said laughing

“SPAT ON YOU? Or in your mouth?” Nate asked him

“No like shawty spat on me, and smacked me across the face” he said

“And???” Madi asked him

“Oh I came so fucking hard….thats when I knew I liked that freaky shit” he said

“You sick fuck” Nick said laughing

“I’m sick? You let a guy fuck you while his sister slept in front of y’all” Chris said laughing

“Madi what’s yours?” I asked looking at her

“To be honest I haven’t had anything crazy, but one time this guy throat fucked me so hard the back of my throat got bruised and like started to bleed a little bit” she said casually

“That’s fucking crazy bitch I salute you because that’s fucking insane” I said laughing

“Bleeding throat is insane” Chris said

“Nate you go” Madi said nodding her head at him

“Mmm there was this one time I was having shower sex with this girl, and all of a sudden she flips me around pushes me against the wall and starts eating my ass” he said laughing so fucking hard

“Eating your ass is fucking crazy” I said

“No like honestly I was like uhhh…but then it felt so fucking good I was confused” he said shaking his head

“Nate likes getting his salad tossed” Nick said laughing

“It’s not a regular occurrence, but I often find myself thinking about her….might have to hit her up again” he said looking off into the distance

“That’s fucking crazy” Chris said laughing at him

“How about you Y/N?” Madi asked

“She’s dating Matt….do you think he’s really fucking her shit up” Nate said

“Honestly fair….like the fuck is his little shy ass doing” Chris said laughing

“You’d be surprised” I said shaking my head

“Well don’t just sit there TELL US” Nick said

“You want me to explain my sex life with your brother?” I looked at him bamboozled

“Not really, but for the sake of this conversation I’m all ears” he said laughing

“I have to demonstrate it because it was fucking insane” I said

“That fucking crazy?” Chris asked

“Dude yes” I said standing up

“Okay so he came to my house one day like all upset and shit, and he was like I need to fuck this out now, and so I was like okay period let’s go take it out on me. So he wastes no time. So anyways we’re past foreplay. He starts calling me all these dirty names, and he’s like smacking me-“ I was cut off

“Smacking you where?” Madi asks

“He was smacking my ass, my face my pussy the whole nine yards” I said

“OKAY WOAH WOAH” Chris said closing his eyes

“SORRY, so anyways he’s like open your mouth, so I do, and he spits down my throat, and whatever…alright so boom, oh by the way we’re in my kitchen and he like pushes me against my island, and starts going down on me like this motherfucker was going crazy I almost passed out so many times I had to stop him” I said

“What a fucking freak” Nate said

“Oh 100%, but anyways he comes back up and like lifts my left leg up, and starts fucking me, and my backs banging into the edge of island like I had a bruise that’s how hard he was going, so then boom he flips me around pushes me over the island lifts my right leg up and starts going crazy, and he’s like smacking me and pulling my hair so hard. I was crying from how good it was, and he was fucking me dumb like all that could be heard was-“ I said

“I’m waiting for the demonstration” Madi said

“Right let me show you” I responded

I bend forward and pretend to be getting fucked

“So picture this Im like this my right legs up, and he’s going to pound town….I was like uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh” I said and then changed positions

I stood up pretending to be Matt, and holding the air and thrusting into it

“And he was like uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh” I said pretending to be Matt

“And he’s like smacking me all crazy and shit, like dripping sweat all over me gripping my hair” I said to them

What we didn’t hear was Matt coming in the house and up the stairs….

“So we were like uh,uh,uh,uh,uh” I said pretending to fucking like Matt was

“And then-“ I was cut off by Madis face dropping and looking behind me, so I turned around to be met with a wide eyes Matt

“Oh uh hiiii” I said fully facing him

“What the fuck is going on” he said blushing

“Nothinggggg” I said smiling at him

“The fuck were you showing them?” He asked blinking at me

“She was showing us how you fucked her like an animal” Chris said

“Chris shut the fuck up” I said sucking my teeth at him

“Exposing our sex life” he said

“Well we were all telling stories and it was my turn, and they didn’t think you fucked good, so I was actually giving you a good rep” I said to him

“Right….” He said scratching his neck

“Who would’ve known Matt FUCKEDDDD” Nate said playfully hitting him

“Fuck off” he said laughing at him while blushing

“Look at Matt…he such a little freak” Chris said laughing at him

“Matt’s a great fuck” I said

“Babe STOP” he said covering my mouth

“It’s always the quiet ones” Nick said shaking his head

“It really is” I said laughing

“OKAY no more about our sex life” he said looking at me

“Sorry baby” I said laughing and grabbing his red cheeks

The End

This was such a dumb idea I had, but like I really wanted to write it LMAOOO😭😭 anywhooo hope yall enjoyed 🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.

So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.

I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.

Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?

It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.

Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!

It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.

AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.

My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.

Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.

Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.

I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.

It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.

It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.

The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.

You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.

[sk1bidi-n1k0-e4ts-people]

Hey hun ty for writing my request with the bullying one I love it bby I got another one for you I promise this one's better and pure fluff 💗 so basically our Mikey man works to mf hard he has a younger sister(sorry I like the sister and big brother relationships there cute asf) like 7-8 surprises mike from work she makes him dinner, makes him a cute little bath, to the best ability an 7-8 your old can do lmaoo and idk maybe saves up some of her allowance and gets Mike something super nice and he's not sure how and is probably like "Baby where did you get this??" I don't fucking know but super fluffy and adorable. Ily hun ty! ✌🏽💜

aww, thank you sm for saying that and requesting again!

Best baby sister // Mike Schmidt x young!sister!reader

**not a ship**

Summary: just fluffy big brother Mike 🥰

Warnings: none :']

Age: 7-8

A/N: "mikey man" very funny 🤭

+•°+*°•++•°+*°•+

You sat up in your small bed, you hopped up to say good morning to Mike. He was the only person in the world that mattered to you.

You walked into the kitchen and was greeted with the smell of bacon, you wrapped your small arms around him. He looked down at you, having not noticed you were there before.

He patted you on the back and returned to cooking. "Hi mike" you giggled, "morning y/n/n. How'd you sleep?" He asked you.

"Good" you answered, "good." He responded

"Thats what I just said" he chuckled at your comment, you were very sassy, of course.

"But i gotta go to work soon, okay?" He said strictly, pointing the spatula at you.

"Uuoohh, but why?" You complained "because, we need money right?" You groaned in response, you ate your breakfast with max instead. (Rude)

+•°+*°•+

there was one hour until Mike got home, you were playing with your dolls when you got the idea.

he works too hard, so you thought to treat him with a little something, you made him a very nutritious meal (microwaved mac n' cheese) and drew him a warm bath, overflowing with bubbles.

You also made a small fort in the living room, facing the tv. When you heard Mike's car pull in the driveway you ran out to him. You opened his door for him, and led him inside by your side.

You ran into the kitchen, passing the living room, Mike saw your fort and pointed at it. "Whats that?" He asked, but was quickly pulled away by you.

"Youre not allowed to see that yet." You said as you dragged him into the kitchen and sat him down. He chuckled as you sat across from him, a fork and knife in both hands, smiling from ear to ear.

You both ate your meals and you led him to the bathroom. He looked down at you, and kneeled down to hug you.

You shut the door and waited in the living room. He eventually emerged from the hall in a comfy sweater and soft pants.

He climed into the fort after you signaled for him too come in. He lied down on his stomach beside you, you both continued to watch cartoons for a while.

You rested your head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around you tight.

He pecked you a few times before taking one of the many blankets in the fort and putting it over both of you.

You snuggled into his chest, his warmth comforting you as you listened to his heartbeat, you fell asleep soon after.

+•°+*°•+

The next morning after he left, you went out with max to surprise him, you had been saving up for months to buy him this. You handed the cashier tons of quarters to pay.

You folded it neatly and set it in a small gift bag. When he got home you gave it to him immediately, shoving it in his face.

He took it out carefully as max left to go home. He gasped as he read it. "Do you like it?" You asked as he kept staring at the hoodie that also had the words 'best big bro' on it.

"Do i like it? Of course i do! I like everything you give me!" He said picking you up. "But, how'd you get it baby?"

"Ive been saving up on my allowance! And searching the streets for some loose change" you said in a raspy voice, making a funny face as well.

He put it on and you both ordered a pizza, and you gave the delivery man the last quarter you had as a tip.

You ate three pieces before you complained about being to full. You fell asleep in Mikes lap while he was playing with your hair. He picked you up and tucked you into bed. Placing a kiss to your forehead.

He went to sleep smiling, still wearing the hoodie, of course he wouldn't tell you that he worked at the shop you bought it from and saw you get it for him but, he was still over the moon nonetheless.

+•°+*°•+

Tags

@white-wolf-buckaroo //

[itsrlymine]

HAI BESTIE ITS 🪐💜 AGAIN!!!

omg ur post abt not calling it desires bc it’s already yours so wtf are you desiring… EXACTLY!!! LITERALLY THAT!!

I always had this sort of cognitive dissonance when it comes to talking abt like the concept of wanting something and “trying to get it” when in all reality you don’t want something you already have.

Also I wanted to mention this little trick I use to help for people who have a hard time or just aren’t used to affirming something to themselves if they’re too caught up in the “3D” or whatever!! For all y’all ‘logical’ people this might work for you

Basically I spew out a list of stuff that I know are undeniable fact and include whatever it is I manifest in that list so my brain will receipt it as a fact as well! There is a psychology term for this where your brain will categorize something based on the surrounding information/context but I forgot what it was called LMAOO

Essentially I tell myself something along this:

“The sky is blue. I have a phone. I breathe oxygen. I have 2 living parents. I’m sitting in my apartment with (partner) rn. I graduated highschool. Grass is green. I’m good at art. it’s snowing outside right now. I’m a millionaire. My sister is 14 years old. I ate scrambled eggs for breakfast. Water is made up of one hydrogen atom two oxygen atoms. I know how to braid hair. I’ve got a huge following on social media. My friends are (insert names), I love my friends. I’m friends with (celeb.) ice is cold. Fire is hot. I have a masculinely androgynous body. My family is accepting of queer people. I am Arab. My family isn’t religious.”

Etc etc, it really helps me feel comfortable with understanding how it is FACTUAL I have it regardless of what the 3D shows me or not!

( something I find so funny is how since i deal with psychosis, in my episodes I tend to think of everything as fake and a simulation. and though I’m not having an episode I still think of the 3D and 4D with that lens bc this shit is just a slow ass loading simulation fr! Like I already changed and clicked and did whatever I changed but it loads slow as hell so although I’m not seeing the changes I know it’ll show up bc it has to)

babes.... when i tell you i do the same exact thinggggg! I list out facts that I know with ones that align with what I've manifested to prove to myself that I don't have to feel any inherent thing, just be and think as the person who has something they wanted. It's so great and just shows you how everything is truly just our assumptions of them.

[ultrone]

coach’s sister !

shauna shipman and coach ben’s little sister falling in love ҂ fluff; brief making out sesh, both are eighteen years old; this was supposed to be hcs but i got a bit too inspired lmaoo, also imagine the arm is shauna’s. . .﹙2.7k wc﹚

shauna and you met one day when your parents couldn't pick you up from school as per usual. you didn't want to take the bus, so your last resort was waiting until your brother was free after practice to drive you home. it didn't bother you though, because you used the time to work on some of your assignments.

you thought soccer practice was over at 6:00 pm, so you packed your stuff and headed to the field to look for your brother. it wasn't until you got there and saw everyone mid-game that you remembered practice was actually over at 6:30 pm. since you were already there, you decided to go sit at the benches and wait.

as you entered the bench area, you realized you weren't alone. shauna shipman was also there, holding an ice pack against her visibly swollen ankle.

you had never spoken to her before, but you knew well who she was, just as she knew who you were. you had noticed shauna during soccer matches that your brother forced you to watch; she was number six. you weren't sure what it was about her, but she always caught your eye. it might have been her great footwork, incredible speed, big brown eyes, or adorable smile, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from her whenever she was running across the field.

and well, pretty much everyone on the soccer team knew who you were, as coach ben had a picture with you in his office, and they sometimes saw you leaving with him after games or practice. mari would joke about coach ben liking girls ten years younger than him until misty, who somehow knows everything, mentioned that you're his younger sister.

"hey," she said, interrupting your thoughts. "you're coach ben's sister, aren't you? y/n," she asked, curiosity in her gaze. you never imagined her voice would be so raspy—you found it very attractive.

"that's me," you assured with a smile. "just waiting for him to give me a ride home," you explained, and she nodded in understanding. "what happened to your ankle?" you asked, eyebrows furrowed.

and that's all it took for the two of you to dive into an endless conversation. you chatted away for what felt like an eternity, though it was only 30 minutes. you discovered you had more in common than you had ever imagined. so much so that she ended up asking for your phone number—of course, without coach ben noticing. she definitely didn't want to get her ass beaten during the next practice.

not even 10 minutes had passed since you left when she already texted you, and the two of you texted all night.

a week of non-stop texting and exchanging greetings between classes went by until you both agreed to meet again. initially, these were just regular hangouts, like watching movies at her place or going out to eat. but then, she started offering you a ride home every day, but only if you were willing to wait for her until practice ended. of course, you did—how could you not? you had the biggest crush on her.

and strangely enough, your academic performance improved, as you would spend two hours every day waiting for her at the library, working on your homework. afterwards, she would drive you home, always ensuring to park a few houses away so that your brother wouldn’t spot you coming out of her car.

one day, much like any other, shauna drove you home. she parked two houses down the street, and the two of you were engaged in a random conversation.

“shit, ben's texting me, i’ve gotta go before he gets suspicious,” you said hurriedly.

i mean, obviously, he was already suspicious—neither your parents nor he was driving you home from school, and he knew you hated taking the bus. you had attempted to use the "doing homework" excuse, but it didn’t cut it. he had a hunch that you were hiding something.

you locked your phone and began gathering your belongings, which were placed between your feet. just as you opened the car door and started to step out, shauna swiftly grabbed your arm, pulling you back inside. she cupped your chin with her other hand, drawing your lips together in a sudden kiss.

"shit—sorry, i don't know what came over me," she said, breaking the kiss abruptly and avoiding eye contact. instead of responding, you pulled her into another passionate kiss. as your lips grasped her lower lip, her tongue slipped inside your mouth, while her hand slid to your waist, gripping it tightly. you were so lost in the moment that you didn't notice the car's lights had turned on due to the door being left ajar.

as luck would have it, your brother suddenly emerged for his jog and started sprinting in your direction. it didn't take him long to spot shauna's car, and the well-lit interior made it easy for him to get a clear view. a clear view of the two of you devouring each other's mouths.

“y/n?” your brother's voice penetrated your ears, causing your heart to plummet into your chest. you swiftly separated from shauna and turned around, only to find your brother standing with his hand on the car door, opening it wide.

you couldn't discern whether he was angry or not; his expression remained deadpan and serious. you and shauna were left speechless, simply staring back at him. you both felt incredibly embarrassed, not only because ben caught you making out but also because he could see your swollen lips and shauna’s dishevelled hair.

"get out of the car," he ordered, shifting slightly to make room for you to step out. as you complied and stood beside him, he leaned down and said to shauna, "we'll talk about this tomorrow before practice. get there early." then he closed the door and started walking toward your house. you gave a nervous but gentle smile to shauna through the window before following your brother.

as you heard shauna's car starting and leaving, you silently followed your brother all the way into your house and into the living room. dropping your belongings onto the floor next to the couch, you took a seat. ben stood right in front of you, hands on his waist, facing the other way.

"so, this is why you've been coming home late every day," he began, turning around to face you. "why didn't you tell me?" he asked with a frown.

"there was nothing to say," you replied. "we're just friends, i guess," you said, sounding a bit confused. you and shauna weren't "just friends," and you knew it damn well. even though you had never discussed it directly, you spent almost every day together, and it was pretty obvious that the two of you were in love by the way you treated and talked to each other. all those lingering doubts and insecurities you had about it were dispelled by the kiss you had shared a few minutes ago.

"just friends? really?" he said incredulously, alluding to the fact that he had clearly seen both of you making out.

"yeah... sorry you had to see that," you said with an awkward chuckle while rubbing the back of your neck, referring to the kiss. "but i'm being honest with you. shauna and i are just friends. we met one day when i was waiting for you at the benches, and we hit it off right away. we started hanging out very frequently, and, well... now we're here," you explained, your tone becoming a bit shyer toward the end.

he sighed and relaxed his arms, letting them fall to his sides as he pursed his lips. then, he walked toward you and sat right next to you.

"you really like her, don't you?" he asked, turning to look at you.

you covered your face with your hands in embarrassment as you rested your elbows on your knees. "mhm," you mumbled as you nodded in agreement, not wanting to meet his gaze. the memory of your kiss with shauna kept replaying in your head, and the last thing you wanted right now was a pep talk from your older brother.

“look at me,” he said but you ignored him. "y/n," he repeated in a more stern tone, so you complied. "i'm not mad at you, okay?" he began, placing his hand on your knee for reassurance and softening his voice. "i wish you had told me about it, but i also understand why you didn't," he said. "i just want you to be happy, you know that, right? i mean... i'd prefer you were happy with someone who wasn't on my soccer team," he chuckled. "but shauna's a good girl. a bit grumpy at times," he quipped, earning a laugh from you. "but i know she's a good student and a nice person too, so i know you're in good hands," he said.

"yeah, she's amazing," you began. "did i tell you i got a B+ on my last biology test?" you said excitedly. "she helped me study for it," you added, a smile lingering on your face as you recalled shauna's adorable focused expression while working on a cheat sheet for you to review.

ben couldn't help but smile too, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer while gently rubbing your arm. "i'm glad she's making you happy and helping you excel in school," he said genuinely. "and i hate to be that person, but if she ever hurts you, she'll go through hell at practice. i'll have a one-vs-all scrimmage session ready for her just in case," he said, sounding protective.

"you better not," you shot back, moving away slightly to look at him through narrowed eyes. "if anything, i want to see you giving her special treatment."

"hah," he chuckled. "yeah, yeah... that won't happen," he said before standing up from the couch. "that reminds me, i need to talk to her before practice tomorrow," he said, his expression turning serious as he tried to intimidate you.

"you'll go easy on her, right?" you asked. you weren't overly worried since you knew your brother wasn't mean, but you couldn't help feeling a bit nervous for shauna, especially since she didn't know him as well as you did, and he was just her coach, after all. she must be really nervous right now.

"we'll see," he said, walking out of the house to resume his jog before you could muster a reply.

you sat impatiently in the library, your leg shaking as you waited for the clock to strike 6:30 pm in the afternoon. you hadn't spoken much with shauna since yesterday's events. you didn't share any classes today, and she hadn't responded to your texts during lunch. she had checked in on you last night, expressing concern about what ben had told you. however, you assured her that everything had gone well and agreed to meet up today at your usual time, which is why you felt so nervous.

suddenly, a hand rested on your shoulder, snapping you out of your thoughts. you looked up and found yourself locking eyes with a pair of big brown eyes.

"hey," shauna said, placing her backpack and gym bag on the floor before taking a seat in the chair next to yours. she seemed a bit nervous but not sad or worried, which eased your concerns about her conversation with ben not being as awkward or strange as you had feared.

"what are you doing here?" you asked curiously, offering a soft smile. "it's still pretty early."

"coach ben let us go early today; he had a meeting with the other coaches," she explained. "shouldn't you be studying for our english midterm?" she teased, raising an eyebrow while glancing at the paused tv show on your computer screen.

"i was just ten minutes ago; i needed a quick breather," you tried to convince her, though the truth was that you had given up on your studies an hour ago.

"sure..." she said, unconvinced, wearing a sly smile. she made a mental note to help you study later.

the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, both of you contemplating yesterday's events, unsure of where or how to begin. you were about to ask if ben had spoken to her, but she started talking before you could muster the courage to open your mouth.

"so," she began, looking down at her hands and fidgeting with the rings on her fingers. "i'm sorry about yesterday, for kissing you like that," she said nervously. "i should've asked first."

you gazed at her, tilting your head slightly, and gave her a soft smile. "don't worry about it. i kissed you back, after all," you reminded her. "and i liked it," you confessed, feeling your cheeks grow warm.

"you did?" she asked, meeting your gaze as her shoulders relaxed a bit, her eyebrows raising slightly in a hopeful manner.

"i did," you confirmed. the two of you sat in silence for a few more seconds, but this time, you broke it.

"i like you, shauna," you said, your gaze shifting to the table in front of you in embarrassment. you were very nervous, and the only thing that gave you the courage to confess your feelings was the fact that she had initiated the kiss yesterday night.

shauna couldn't help but smile at your words, her cheeks flushed. "i like you too, y/n," she confessed. "a lot."

she put her hand on your thigh in an attempt to make you meet her gaze once more. and once you did, she asked, “can i kiss you?”

you smiled softly at her, “you don’t have to ask,” you whispered, slowly leaning closer.

just as your lips were about to meet, you heard a phone camera shutter sound from the table directly behind yours. you frowned and turned to locate the source of the sound, finding yourself locking eyes with a pair of green ones you instantly recognized.

"jackie!" shauna hissed, her face a mix of embarrassment and surprise. "what are you doing?"

"i'm sorry! you two looked so adorable; i had to capture this memorable moment," she explained. "i told you she liked you back," she added excitedly, raising her eyebrows suggestively and grinning widely.

"jackie, stop it," shauna scolded, her annoyance evident. finally, the blonde girl seemed to get the memo.

"okay, okay! i'm leaving now. see you later, guys," she said, skipping toward the entrance where jeff was waiting for her.

shauna sighed in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, that was so embarrassing."

"it's okay," you reassured her with a laugh. "at least we have a cute picture now."

"true," she admitted, a soft smile returning to her lips.

"by the way, did ben talk to you?" you asked intrigued.

"yeah, he did," she confirmed. "he gave me a 20-minute pep talk about how important you are to him and threatened to make me run 50 laps around the entire school if i ever hurt you," she chuckled.

"well, you better not then," you said, leaning closer to her once more, trying to hide your smile by biting on your lower lip.

"how could i? he showed me that one picture of you wearing a full-body star costume from your kindergarten christmas recital. i could never hurt that little thing," she teased, making a playful pout with her lips.

"he did not show you that picture," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.

"oh, yes, he did," she countered, retrieving her phone from her pocket and pressing the power button, revealing that the picture was now her lock screen.

"if you don't take that picture off your lock screen right now, shipman…" you playfully threatened, attempting to grab her phone from her hands, but she was quicker, “i’m gonna kill you.”

with her phone secure, she leaned back slightly, prompting you to lean in. seizing the opportunity, she deftly held your forearm in place and leaned in herself, planting a sweet kiss on your lips. without hesitation, you reciprocated, both of you wearing sheepish smiles on your faces.

[sniigura-archive]

Adam x Reader x Mammon AU where Reader's a stripper, Mammon's the boss of the club she works at, and Adam's the head of the church near the club that's trying to get it shut down. Reader being this nobody who's able to get these two (2) powerful men to do just about whatever she wants cuz her pussy's Just That Good.

She's Mammon's favorite so she's the only one of the club's performers that he listens to when it comes to getting raises/paid breaks, complaints about harassment from customers, etc., so Reader uses his interest in her to look out for her coworkers;

R: Oh, I'm not sure if I can have sex rn, i'm just too upset about how Bernadette won't be able to visit her family this weekend cuz she has to work overtime :(

M: Fine I'll give her the weekend off are you gonna suck my dick now or what

Adam and his church trying to boycott the club and causing problems for business so Reader goes to "talk to him" and now the club no longer has to worry about the church anymore. When members of the church ask Adam why they stopped boycotting he's bullshits something like "God told me we should show mercy to sex workers, just as Jesus showed mercy to Mary Magdalene (a former prostitute)". What really happened was that Reader gave Adam some A+ snu snu and threatened to never let him have sex with her again unless his church stopped boycotting the club.

Mammon goes to visit Adam shortly after cuz he can't believe that Reader managed to convince him to leave the club alone (cuz she's "just a girl" after all). Reader expects the worst, but then the two end up becoming instant besties and make a deal to have their services coexist in peace. Mammon def takes credit for "saving" the club and Reader's just looking at him like "sure jan B/".

HAUQJJAWH ANON!!!!!!!!! I THINK YOU SHOULD BE WRITING FANFIC INSTEAD OF ME!!!

god the way i was like trying to figure out how to do adam x reader x mammon and here you are. dropping this into my inbox. i’m in love with you

like!!! imagine the neighbourhood is going through some crazy gentrification. everything is changing, it gets more expensive and conservative?? hello?? what happened to the shit hole you grew up in?

you’re basically mammons cash cow. you’re the star of the club. he’s always torn between „get out there and bring some goddamn cash in“ and „nobody else should get to look at you besides me“ it’s very annoying with him. to cope he has to bend you over his desk to calm his raging possessiveness

at least you use your power over mammon for good. the girls love you and you’re all basically sisters. one girl comes to him crying because some guy groped her and he’s like „well did you at least charge him extra for that 🤨“ but when you come to him because someone called you a whore the guy can never show his face again in mammons block

ADAM!!!i just imagine him and the church protesting in front of the club and you’re just done with them already. they’re scaring off customers, especially since they live stream the whole thing!!!! most of your visitors are married men ofc they don’t show their face as long as they’re out there 😭 and man they are persistent

mammon is also losing his mind because he’s losing money. he’s also too cheap and stubborn to change club location

all these petitions and the pressure the church puts on the major is just stressful. so you decide to go over there, to talk. and oh boy did you both talk!! through gasps and moans

adam immediately develops a complex where he wants to „“safe““ reader. turn her into his perfect little housewife who stays home with their brats and goes to church every sunday. very confused when reader is actually okay with her life

reader in this i think would be rather smart with her money. like she’s into the stock market and buys property and invests in businesses. mammon and adam not realising that reader is better off than both of them 😭

LMAOO mammon taking all the credit 😭😭

i can’t even begin to imagine their reaction when they realise you’re doing both of them behind their backs. well it’s not like you’re in a committed relationship with either of them (they just thought it was implied smh 🙄)

need to be pressed inbetween both their huge bodies

[bisexualfemalemess]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PT 2 SPOILERS

Live reaction episode 5:

I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see Penelope’s answer to colin’s proposal but in my head she just straight up faceplanted outta that carriage. On another note, colin constantly looking back at her to check on her is peak protective husband. Colin ‘my wife’ bridgerton indeed. Also Penelope’s so loved by his family and not him being willing to fight Eloise, his own sister, like hold your horses buddy. El baby she’s loved him since you guys were children. Both are honestly valid and i love them both so much, i just need my peneloise besties back right now. Like so expeditiously. Awww, colin checking up on pen. He’s truly already so far gone. I’M SORRY THE TREE???? What the actual fuck???? Lady tilley arnold needs to get the fuck off my screen. I’ve never read the books but booktok and twitter made me love sophie already, i need her. Not pen listening to her family reading LW Lmaoo she seems so smug about it. EY LADY DANBURY HAPPY ABOUT POLIN THEY’RE SO LOVED BY EVERYONE. KANTHONY MY BABIES. MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE ACTUAL PARENTS STFU. Anthony’s so feral for her 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 aww hyacinth is so excited to tell them about polin’s new engagement my daughter fr. HYACINTH OMG IJBOL NOT HER SAYING GREGORY’S THE FAMILY PET I’MMA DIE. Eloise baby she did not use you, she loves you and you love her so make up bitches. Cressida is so gay for eloise no one can tell me otherwise. OH MY GOD NOT THE BOOK LINE ABOUT HIS LOVE BEING A THUNDERBOLT FROM THE SKY SOMEONE SEDATE ME (might need to make a part two and i’m only 10 minutes in) they’re not even married yet and Benedicts like “your wives” she’s always been a bridgerton for real. PORTIA I AM INDIFFERENT TOWARDS YOU BUT BACK OFF FROM MY GIRLY AND DON’T MAKE HER DOUBT HER RELATIONSHIP. COLINS SO HOT TELLING PORTIA OFF SOMEONE GET ME SOME HOLY WATER OR SOMETHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE’S BEEN WITH HER FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND HE’S ALREADY THROWING AROUND THE L-WORD OH HE FELL SO HARD FOR HER IMMA THROW MYSELF IN FRONT OF A MOVING TRUCK. MIRROR SCENE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ALRIGHT ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING OH HIS SPEECH IMMA KILL MYSELF IM SO SERIOUS. THIS IS PERFECT OH MY GOD, NICOLA COUGHLAN IS A GODESS AND THEIR CHEMISTRY IS SO PALPABLE. “LIE DOWN” THAT WAS SO FUCKING HOT, COLIN BRIDGERTON CAN COMMAND ME AROUND ANY DAY. Sex scene, sex scene, sex scene….TO POV???? Oh, that’s such a beautiful song choice. This is literally so intimate, i feel like I’m intruding. Colin bridgerton is a canon consent man and as a woman i think that’s so sexy. That was the cutest sex scene of my life, cute, hot, awkward, everything a first time is supposed to be (i wouldn’t know🙊) KANTHONY SCENE. HES THE CUTEST ALL KISSING HER STOMACH. Newton and Anthony always beefing. Their so cute 😫😫😫. Awww John and Francesca are so cute as well. Awwww him asking about marriage 😖😖😖. VISCOUNTESS KATE IN ACTION MY BABY GIRL. She’s working overtime being pregnant, viscountess and giving eloise advice. She clocked peneloise’s tea. AWW Post-sex polin is the cutest with the book line too 🥹🥹🥹🥹 and the teasing!!! They’re truly so friends to lovers. NOT HER GETTING INTERRUPTED WHEN SHE WANTS TO TELL HIM SHE’S WHISTLEDOWN. FUCK ASS SERVANTS. Oh poor pen having to listen to her fiancé trash-talk her without knowing he’s taking about her, like i wouldn’t tell him i’m Whistledown either after this, bet. Also they literally have no sense of personal space and it’s too cute. Aww a colin and eloise talk. THEY WERE INSEPARABLE AND THEY NEED TO BE AGAIN SOON OR IMMA DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC I SWEAR TO GOD. Peneloise as bestie sister-in-law’s is something that i need so bad it’s like not even funny anymore. Penelope’s sister need to leave her the fuck alone and portia needs to leave her ulterior motives at the door even penelope was like what the hell is going on. I don’t really mind will and alice plot honestly they’re just a cute married couple, much like polin will be. OH MY GOD NOT BENEDICT CALLING KATE SISTER IM DYING IM DECEASED. THAT FUCK ASS TOP HAH OH MY LORD. NOT COLIN CALLING PENELOPE HIS BRIDE TO BE 🫠

[silvercap]

Do you have any leon headcannons?

and maybe some krauser ones too?

I've got a few!! In no particular order:

Leon...

- Leon doesn't use a whooole lot of different products for his hair, but he stays loyal to one very specific brand and it's kind of expensive

- Also think he was a 2-in-1 shampoo kind of boy until he started working at the white house 😞 his hair is just nice like that tho. Thick and shiny

- Bite mark scar on his forearm from trying to push away a BOW who decided it looked more like a snack than defense

- Moles all over his body... and I mean everywhere.

- Suffers from a three-hit K.O. of sleep deprivation from working ridiculous hours (some self-imposed), insomnia, and a natural tendency to be a night owl. He's always tired, and if he feels safe somewhere he's constantly taking naps

- He's always thinking about something and has a tendency to get lost in his memories. I like to think he drinks just to stop thinking in endless loops of guilt and regret for a while :(

- Touchstarved as HELL. was joking the other day that he's the 'even held hostage it's nice to be held' meme lmaoo. Give him a hug, somebody??

- Listens to the most dad-rock-light-emo-90s-early-00s-linkin park-nirvana-alanis-morissette-foo-fighters-evanescence-nickelback music possible. Also Chevelle and The Police because I say so

- Tendency to be late to things on purpose, especially with the government

- Lingering nerve pain for a long time after Spain, and though it's mostly subsided after so many years it still flares up if he's pushing himself too hard

- Achy. So achy.

- Incredibly self-sacrificing. He would die to protect almost anyone and he cares very deeply about people even though he puts up a tough front :') not so much a headcanon as true, but it's important

- I feel like sometimes people can't tell if he's joking or not? Obviously he's got his silly one-liners and sarcasm, but I feel like he also likes deadpan humour and it throws off people who don't know him, maybe intentionally if he doesn't really trust them.

As for Krauser...

- He's such an asshole. Never knows when to shut the hell up and stop making sarcastic, biting little comments. I think he's just in love with the sound of his own voice at this point

- Strikes me as a middle child 🤔 maybe grew up with an older brother and a younger sister? Kind of a jock in high school, but also always a little bit antisocial

- Stubborn.

- Very practical. I don't think he really has much use for abstract or hypothetical discussion, he's a man of action. I think he enjoys following orders and being part of a scheme, too, helping to be part of a well-oiled machine

- Relentless drill sergeant, and again, a dickhead, but he really does care about his men

- He has this... assumption that everyone else is just as insane as he is, and doesn't see why people get caught up on small things. If there's something he wants to do, he's going to do it. He knows his strength and always has this intense desire to make himself better and better by constantly tackling challenges.

- He doesn't fail... until he does, and everything falls apart. His panic in Darkside Chronicles after he gets injured screams insecurity to me. The second his strength isn't enough, he feels weak and powerless and incredibly let down by his own inability to push through

- Arm injury in Operation Javier was super debilitating, maybe even to the point where he was advised to amputate it. Again, though, he's a stubborn SOB

- Very touchy. The kind of guy to always pat your shoulder or your back or knee. Just casually moves people out of the way, or readjusts their fighting stance while training without hesitation. If you're cuddling with him it's impossible to get away from his big heavy arms.

I think that's everything?? I'm always coming up with more ahaha but these are definitely the fundamentals :) Thanks for the ask!!

[slutterhaus]

.acts of service

AN: I was finishing a Pav x reader, but I’m weak and hyperfixating so here’s a little tidbit while I’m on my break lmaoo also the idea is based on some asks back on the @amatorysacrivn, but it may be slightly ooc, I’m sorryyy! CWs: None, just fluff, maybe more on the comfort side?  Other: Second person POV, implied established relationships, mentions of mouth wounds, reader has no mentioned or implied gender, reader is called gorgeous by Laza once. Word Count: 725

With a yawn and a stretch, you closed the door to your apartment behind you, relieved to finally be home from work. Walking into the living room, you found Lazaria lounging on your couch with both her legs over the armrest and a bag of food you assumed her and Leviathan brought for themselves. “Evenin’, gorgeous. Your grub’s in that tiny ass kitchen of yours.” She teased, which made you stick your tongue out in playful retaliation before you joined her on the couch for a quick squeeze and kiss before you took off your shoes. “Thanks for the food, Laza. Also, the fuck do you have against my kitchen? You know I specifically moved here because I didn’t want to clean the kitchen for four hours.”

“Well, we did offer you a butler.”

“Oh my God, Laza.” You snorted out a laugh, one which she quickly teased you for by making the same sound. “Making it too easy, pumpkin.”

You rolled your eyes before looking around, eyes darting towards the hallway for a moment before Lazaria spoke up, almost as if she knew what you were thinking. “Bathroom. Got something stuck in his teeth and he’s trying to pick it out.” 

And as if on queue, Leviathan called for his twin, only for said twin to nod in the direction of the bathroom. “I’ll set up for spa night since you came home late, go see what he needs.” 

Getting up from her side, you make your way towards the bathroom and hear some shuffling and curses coming from the inside. With a knock, Leviathan called for his sister again. “It’s me, Levi.” Your call was unanswered, and for a moment, you waited. Letting you see him without a mask was a touchy subject, you knew that, and you never pushed it. So you waited, waited for what seemed more minutes than it really was. Then, the door clicked open and he let you in, though his back was turned when you stepped on the tiled floor. He looked fresh out of the shower, probably getting ready for spa night.

“Need help, baby?” 

He mumbled his response, using his forearm to wipe what you assumed was drool from his chin. You took a seat on the countertop, hoisting yourself up and patiently waiting for him to turn around. When he did, you had no negative reaction, which seemed to visibly make his shoulders relax. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t seen it before, but he was still getting used to it. Heavy boots shuffled against the tiles until he slightly towered over you. Slowly reaching up with both your hands, you waited for any sign to pull back. When it never came, you gently cradled his face in your palms as he handed you the floss-pick combo he was trying to use to get rid of the piece of meat you could see stuck in the back of his mouth. 

Some drops of drool landed on your thigh, but you didn’t mind as you easily got the bothersome piece out from between his first and second molar. It must’ve been an awkward angle, and Leviathan looked much calmer, albeit still slightly tense. “I have an extra soft toothbrush, want me to help you out while we’re here? I’ll be really careful with your wounds.”

He was quiet for a moment, watching as your hand brought a damp cloth to lovingly clean the saliva dripping down his chin. “Later.” He answered, resting his forehead against yours. “Thank you, my lovely poison. Let’s get back so we can get the night going. We have some stupid client-target stories we’ve been dying to tell.” 

You beamed at him, smiling as you hopped off the sink counter. “Boy, do I have some for the two of you too. The casino was absolutely wilding this week.” Lazaria had already set up, in some comfy pjs as she waited with some trashy reality show playing for background noise. “I’m gonna go get some clothes and take a quick shower, you two start without me!” You called, rushing to your room so you didn’t keep them waiting more than they already had. 

It was moments like these that made you feel at peace with them and it made your heart swell with adoration for the two chaotic, not-so-little, murder gremlins.

[eunoiaastralwings]

Hi, lovely! I'm so glad your requests are open! I have a cute idea that I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing?

Either Elladan or Argon bc they need more love ❤️

They have a secret admirer that occasionally leaves letters or little gifts (like cookies or small trinkets) for them. (They really hope it's y/n!)

Y/n accidently outs themselves at some feast/party and are so embarrassed, and it super flusters our elf boy, and he manages to confess as well

Thanks in advance if you decide to write this!

Be Careful What You Wish For

characters elladan x reader

fandom tolkien- the hobbit the lord of the rings

a/n @fictionfordays - I have it and I really hope you enjoy it hun - was lowkey tempted to end this in angst lmaoo

Elladan grinned - seeing yet another little piece of note left by his hunting gears.

He raced up and picked by the lavender scent note - his fingers excitedly opening it and his brother’s calls became distant:

‘The only time I have realized I have secretly fallen for you is when everything around me reminds me of you, in the smallest things, and the most unexpected moments, and I cannot tell you a single thing about it’

Elladan let out a soft breath - that he didn’t know he was holding.

His grin turned into a soft smile - as his eyes glossed over the words again.

Then, suddenly the note was ripped from his grasp.

He groaned - turning to his twin with a glare.

“Elrohir-”

“The only time I have realized I have secretly fallen for you. . .is when everything around me. . .reminds me of you, in-”

Elladan rolled his eyes and grabbed the carefully crafted and decorated note back from Elrohir. 

His usually calm and composed twin - compared to himself - broke away from his usual façade to tease him for the little notes and sweet trinkets left by his supposed secret admirer.

It had been almost a month since he received these little gifts - left lying in places that were bound to be found by him.

The only people who would know him that well, were the ones of his kin . . .and Y/N.

The daughter of Lord Glorfindel - his heart never ceased to skip a beat whenever he set his eyes on you and he hoped more than anything you had left these precious little messages and trinkets for him.

Though - Elrohir being the wiser twin had advised not to let his heart go astray. . .what if it wasn't you?

It would leave not only his - but whosoever heart he captured broken too. . .

But call him selfish - he wanted. . .needed it to be you. . .

Elrohir had seen it through too - and he deeply hoped it was indeed you, you could not bear to think of the consequences otherwise. . .

“Be careful what you wish for, brother. . .”

Elrohir said quietly and moved away - making Elladan sigh.

Elladan gulped reading over his precious little note again - imagining it as it was your voice reading it out loud to him.

He was in too deep for something he wasn’t even definite about.

Elladan quickly hopped down from the high grounds - following his twin back into the centre of Rivendell.

The feast of Starlight was happening tonight and his father would scold him to Valinor if he was late for it.

He quickly got ready - dressing himself in the finest wear his father and sister had picked out for him - knowing he lacked any skills in looking presentable for feasts and festivals such as these.

Once Elladan was finished and dressed to look suitable for the event - he was surprised to meet you as he opened the door.

Your hand was moments away from knocking on the door and you blushed furiously as he chuckled.

“Hello, dear lady - what may I help you with?”

He asked - bowing generously to you.

Once composing yourself you rolled your eyes in a very unladylike manner - it was one of the reasons Elladan felt moved by you.

You didn’t let rules tie you down - you were your own person, proving much to be your father’s daughter.

He always admired it.

“I was hoping to get your opinion of my dress. . .”

You blushed as you spoke.

Elladan then dropped his gaze to your dress - a shimmering color that complimented your skin.

You wore it elegantly - you looked truly beautiful dressed in your favorite color and Elladan suddenly felt unable to form words as your beauty radiated causing his cheeks to redden a little too.

“I knew it. . .I look awful don’t I?”

You sighed - in seeing how long he was taking to answer. Unaware of what was really happening to him.

Elladan quickly reached for your hand as you turned away looking ashamed.

“Wait - no you look radiant!”

He blurted out fast - his face blushing again and he needed to clear his throat.

Elladan thanked Eru for his fair skin - for if his skin had been ruddy or freckled like the Feanorian relative he had heard he would have been a bright red berry.

Elladan suddenly felt the pain of the Feanorian as he stood in front of you - bashfully.

He grinned seeing you let out a sigh of relief.

You looked positively glowing - he thought.

Once Elrohir had joined the both of you - you three made it down to the festivities.

While tended to his duties behind his father - his eyes still remained on you.

You had gotten a hold of his sister Arwen and was interacting with her well into the night - that was until Aragorn had whisked her away.

Sneaking away from his father’s side he grinned making his way to you.

You had instantly smiled seeing him - making his heart skip a few beats.

“Elladan. . .”

You smiled.

“I told you look radiant!”

He smirked - has he overheard so many of the guests and residents complimenting you. 

Including Lindir couldn’t help himself from delivering a compliment.

You blushed with a small thanks.

Elrohir came to your side not too long after - and joined Arwen and Aragorn had finished their dance they joined in your little circle too.

“Elladan, brother - why don’t you say about the lovely note you had gotten this evening?”

Elrohir suddenly said - making Elladan almost choke on his drink.

Your eyes had widened and you slowly looked at Elladan you tried to compose himself - then sent a glare to his twin.

Elrohir was the only one who knew Elladan had a secret admirer.

“A note, hanar?”

Arwen questioned - the excitement in her voice could not be missed.

Elladan tried to say something - but he was immediately cut off by Elrohir.

“Why, yes, little sister - a note from a secret lover no less.”

Elrohir smirked.

You had gotten unnaturally quiet - sipping away the wine in your hand but you listened attentively to the conversation.

“You have a secret lover, hanar!”

Arwen spoke excitedly to Elladan - her eyes sparking wanting to hear all the information about it.

“Oh what were the words again? Something about ‘The only time I have realized I have secretly fallen for you. . .is when everything around me. . .reminds me of you. . .’ I wasn’t able to read the rest of it - because someone took it away from me.”

Then Elrohir met eyes with his twin - it was only when he side-eyed you did Elladan understand what his twin was doing. 

Elladan looked at you for a quick second - your eyes were on your wine but you were nervously biting your bottom lip.

He looked back at Elrohir who sneakily gestured to Sîdhel - Lindir’s daughter.

Snapping his eyes shut for a second - he took a deep breath.

“Yes - I do. . .sometimes little trinkets. But usually it is little notes.”

His eyes snuck to you as he spoke to Arwen.

“They are deeply poetic and beautiful - definitely from a gifted writer. . .perhaps even a singer. If I didn’t know any better I would be from Sîdhel. Her lady always knows the right choice of words - her words are always poetic. Her form of speech is as if reading a poem from one of Master Erestor’s scrolls. She knows a little craftsmanship from-”

“No!”

You suddenly shouted - your eyebrows had knitted together in anger and you almost slammed your glass down on the table beside you. 

You earned some glances - but you were too angry to notice them.

Elladan frowned seeing the sudden change in you.

“How could you think they were from Sîdhel? Sîdhel never showed any interest in you. She surely hasn’t spent countless nights trying to think of perfect words to fit into the feelings my heart feels for you. Elladan you never listen - I spoke those words to you before, perhaps not exactly as written, but it was plainly obvious. And the little trinkets I left you? Did you not understand the carved horse at least? When you first took me out horse riding, it was the exact horse I carved for you. Or the flowers? - Remember the flowers we saw when you first took me hunting! Or-”

You suddenly silenced your shouted as you caught yourself in what you were doing. 

You gulped - blushing a deeper shade of red by the second as four pairs of eyes watched you in shock.

You couldn’t even look Elladan in the eye - hastily making a ridiculous excuse you quickly escaped.

Your father’s bright blond hair was within sight and you were around to let him know you were going to retire early tonight.

Then suddenly a grabbed your wrist from behind you - you knew that familiar grip and you refused to meet his gaze.

“Y/N. . .”

Elladan breathed out - still unable to believe what he had heard.

“I-. . .forgive me. . .”

You sighed - only for Elladan to pull you to him and press his lips on top of yours.

Your sighed widened in shock but found yourself immediately kissing back.

After a moment he pulled away - placed his forehead on your forehead.

“My brother warned I should be careful what I wish for, - because I wished for you, I wished for them to be from you, meleth.”

You blushed.

“I thought you were hoping for Sîdhel. . .”

You frowned.

“My clever little starlight, I was hoping to catch you out.”

He winked as he smirked.

You rolled your eyes - you should have known Elladan surely had ways to catch you out on your own game.

“You are truly a fool for not understanding my gifts to you.”

You muttered - feeling a little upset.

“That I am - but I am your fool.”

Elladan grinned.

You laughed.

“I love you, Elladan. . .”

You confessed.

He was about to reply when someone had cleared their throat behind you.

Both of you turned to your father with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.

“Ada. . .”

You tried - but Elladan immediately cut you off.

“I love her!”

He suddenly blurted - making you burst into laughter.

Glorfindel then only smirked.

“Good!”

He took his leave.

“Elladan!”

You laughed at the look on his face - he looked as if the doomsman of the valar had arrived before him.

He shook his head.

“Well at least your father approves.”

“He sure does.”

You laughed - then smiled as Elladan dove in for another wish.

They say you should be careful what you wish for you - and as Elladan protectively and lovingly kept you in his arms, you knew you wished for the right thing.

Taglist form

tara's taglist: @wandererindreams @fizzyxcustard @ranhanabi777 @spidergirla5 @asianbutnotjapanese @floraroselaughter @mismaeve

[dio-the-thot-exterminator]

if you get a notification about me following you, that's on me i missed the ask button

but I see an oc :) Why does Becky smith need to chill?

Sobbing sobbing sobbing 😓

I tagged her name wrong, her last name is Maurice not smith, 

Anyways Becky is always at 100, she was based off the typical 2000s high school mean girl, think regina george, courtney shayne or (even adagio dazzle if we go into 2010s) etc etc.

She's in charge of her “clique” we usually call BHL (Becky, Hanna, Lisa). And she dedicated her every waking moment, terrorizing our protagonist Debbie Smith (I mixed up their names, I'm still crying).

Becky didn't always used to be like this. She was very naive, and always ALWAYS admired the older smith sister, Matilda. Matilda was everything Becky wanted to be, smart, beautiful and extremely popular 😍. 

Quite literally ruled the school, fan clubs and “social media” accounts based around her, hell a mini celebrity (hmm i guess influencer if that even existed back then).

Matilda was the perfect person to be and be around, that is unless you mess with her little sister, Debbie. 

Ruthless is not even the right word to describe how protective she was over Debbie. She went from sweet to bitch real fast, blood would be spilled, teeth pulled out anything you want to call it, physical beat down, social beat down, mental beat down.

You’d be destroyed!!! And that's exactly what happened to Becky after she accidentally pissed off Debbie. 

Matilda beat her ass so badly (talk about meeting your heroes huh?) and proceed to humiliate Becky in front of the entire school (think like the part in Carrie when the pig blood got dumped or something equivalent) to make matters worse Matilda recorded everything and spread it throughout the town, yikes. Becky ended up in the hospital and did not return to school. 

Becky’s not the only person Debbie fucked over by being a compete asshole, Debbie created a whole lotta enemies (including Hanna and Lisa) but never experienced the consequences.

Matilda continued her reign over the school until she came down with an illness and had to leave. Almost like fate right?

Suddenly Debbie was left without her protection and everyone came out the woodworks to get her ass.

(Drawing i liked)

Starting freshman year of highschool Becky Maurice returned, teaming up with Hanna and Lisa. They proceeded to jump Debbie every single day, they were going ham, torture basically. Everything you could imagine times 10, teen girls are vicious. 

Becky finally got a warped version of what she wanted, superficial beauty, someone else to do all her classwork for her and extreme “popularity”.

Whether or not she liked it everyone knew her face and name, might as well try to attach it to being da baddest bitch around and waging a war on Debbie stupid ahh. 

Everyone was happy to have their revenge and most moved on.

Except Becky, Becky can't go anywhere without that video haunting her, she could never move on and she refused to forget what happened to her (rightfully so).

Becky never got the love or respect she wanted, once Debbie became an outcast no one really cared about Becky anymore. People used to cheer her on but now Becky just seems desperate and somewhat pathetic.

Trying to get revenge or a rile out of someone who is just numb and accepts everything

“Beating a dead horse”.

Becky does a lot of dedicating energy to someone she hates instead of focusing on herself. Once she graduates she will never see Debbie again, but without Debbie, Becky literally has nothing. No career, no hobbies, no drive, no motivation, no future.

She’s one dimensional and that's going to hold her back from trying to achieve anything other than half assed revenge. 

I love Becky so much but i neeeeed her to just chill out, you’re better than bum ass Debbie don't let your hate consume you <3 be bitter but be successful too, Debbie got nothing going for her dont go down the same path. 

Sorry for typos 😅 and i hope this is easy to understand lmaoo

[caddyheron]

I totally agree aaron doesn't get enough love in the fandom. Tho tbf he is just Some Guy. What are your thoughts on him?

Note: this is coming from a place of sadness and evilness. Normally he’s just some plot device to me idk. There is a lot of hcs and thoughts here btw, also feel free to send more asks lmaoo

Hhh mentions eating disorders a little bit btw

So my big thing is that he’s so fucked up from his relationship with Regina. He was a token to her and neither of them really liked each other and he felt so pressured by her manipulation to get back into a relationship with her. With Regina being a deeply closeted lesbian, Aaron is just some token of status and worth, some guy she sort of kind of likes. Whereas I see Aaron genuinely loved her and is so fucked up by it all.

A lot of behaviours Regina displays, he gets so confused when Cady doesn’t display them too. So. I hc Regina has quite a bad ed and is also very controlling of other people’s food/body [seen a lot in how Regina treats Gretchen], and I see her being the same way with Aaron. Sometimes she’d eat some of her lunch, but at a point, he stops packing proper lunches because he doesn’t want Regina’s comments. She’s also intent on him going to the gym every day. He’s very confused when Cady doesn’t act like this and goes on dates to restaurants and eats etc

I hc he ends up with really bad anxiety and, as much as he tries to, he isn’t someone who can actually mask or hide it at all. If he has a panic attack, he’s having a panic attack right then and there. [As opposed to someone like Gretchen who will hide and suppress forever.] He doesn’t realise how bad his anxiety is because he just thinks it’s Normal that he can’t breathe or see or stop shaking when he’s around Regina.

Also, hc he already knows Regina is cheating on him with Shane which is why his reaction to Cady telling him is just “why would you tell me that?” Because he. already knows but it’s easier to let it happen than to confront it ever. He wants to be loved by Regina so badly

He’s deeply mediocre at everything. He’s never been good at anything at all, he’s just okay at everything and it fucks with him so much, especially when he finds out he isn’t even That Good at maths. Aaron can do okay at everything but perpetually feels like disappointment because he isn’t perfect or better. Also following from this, bad relationship with his parents and they’re quite absent.

Older brother to a sister who’s a few years younger than him. He’s very good at being an older brother and sacrifices a lot for her. Following from this, he cooks for her a lot but he isn’t that good at cooking so it’s just the most mediocre and basic things [again, because he’s just okay at a lot of things].

Bonus hcs:

Big brown eyes that go all soft and dark when he’s sad about something

Token neurotypical who understands Cady’s autism so well. This is based off me and my partner, but if somethings too loud for her [like when a train pulls in] but doesn’t go on long enough to need headphones, he puts his hands over her ears. Cady is equally as understanding about his anxiety [however. Cady and Aaron do not date that long because Cady was mostly just a bit hyperfixated and needed to fit in. For awhile, Aaron is convinced this is because he did something wrong even though it Isnt]

[tsunbunni]

It's been a long time since I posted Cieladd ( maybe 2 weeks? 1 month?), and so today it is the same. So I think about doing something special about today. I'm going to quest myself about Cieladd (more about myself ) and answer it. If you don't like reading then just skip it. But if you read it then I welcome you.

When did I grad myself into this ship? This is when Ciel and Lu got leak and announced in the game. I only ship them for fun because of how good-looking Ciel is and how I love Add so much (at that time, I'm AddEve fan lmaoo). But when I got to know Ciel's personality, habits, and even his past. I've become more deep into this ship.

Reson why I'm shipping Cieladd? Because they have a surprising similarity, and I don't think anyone can understand the suffering they went through, except them. For how Ciel and Add both lost their dear family (Ciel's sister/Add's mother), when they got new friend but end up losing them too, and how when they got into the revenge stuff (of course Ciel's revenge is done, but not Add). So when I think about if they become friend and Add just feel safe around Ciel, and then begin to tell him a few about himself to Ciel, Ciel might feel the connection between them and try to help Add out of his madness ( which I assume is in their's class 1, their both being inspire by each other or try to become stronger than the other)

Which class couple I like the most? Of course, class 3, Demonio and DE is my favorite. Oh how I love sad boy and mad boy. I always know that in which class, Ciel always thinks Add is the good person, even if this little boy is just up to something weird again, he is so nice and warm heart to cares about others ( Lu first and then the other, but Lu just can protect herself well and play around with someone in the El's team). How can he not care about the boy, who is likely more into something else than his own health. And more more but might too long to write it down.

Do I don't like the other couple in Cieladd? No! of course not! Class 1 is fun, because they just want to competition each other but in the cool way. I like how baby PT (add) admire big brother Ciel and become strong LP (and got Deadlord praise and both pratice with each other). And how cute DL keep miss baby PT and how end up Doom appear to have hair hide his right eye again and a fur coat. Absysser didn't know that Doom is that kind of jelous man, even if that it his younger self (how cute~Abysser loves Doom more and more after that) Class 2, RG (ciel) is care about MM (add), MM keep work and work and work! RG can't allow this baby to keep losing weight anymore. MM only let RG take care of him (because brother Ciel give him lot of cookies when their are basic class). There are grow up lover, or maybe old married couple? and damn Lu don't like sharing her dear (brother/bulter) with someone, but it's fun and their have set thing done in the end. Class 4 is still new to me and I haven't get to know well about them both. But I like to think that Add being a doctor and take care of Ciel depression. The change of who being the healer and who is being heal.

How long I can keep loving Cieladd? I don't know but I already into this ship more than 7 years now, I think I can keep going another more years? kekeke~ But I don't promise about the time I might post my arts, because I have things in my life too (and how I really depress too or scare of the unknow and lock myself up, nah~kidding).

Will I keep this blog ? Yes, this is my cieladd home, my first blog and the big step in social media (I was so scare of people and avoid communication with other). This blog is precious to me and Cieladd memories too. There some are happy when the first time I got a fan, having a lot of like and some reblog, the courage to open ask and answer some. There also sad one when I sad of how people doesn't like Cieladd, how I run away for few years unpost and hide myself, how I blame myself for being coward, making excuse,... But this is how I slowly level up myself. Looking back make my heart feel like warm and so glad that I didn't let thing end just like that.

Anything else to said? (I'm out of question to myself now =v= damn) Cieladd is love! Cieladd is life!!!! I don't care that I can't play the game (free player is hard) but Cieladd is still the best to me! Not only the reason I'm shipping them, but also the energy their give to me so that finally make this blog and bring love to people how strugger to find hope in crack ship that being hate for no reason (yes, everyone have to right to ship what they want. You don't like it then skip, pass, block,... don't talk harsh things ) Well, I don't want to keep people hope in this blog and I don't like keep my fan wait. I hope that you can find time and check my arts or forget about this home if you want (the game is old and not really famous tbh) I will always happy to welcome you to my cieladd home, thank anyone that keep support me and following me until now, you're all the best gift in my life, i love you all like i love cieladd. I won't be sad now, and will be back with Cieladd stuff, AU or random things like I used to. Thank you again, who read this until now (or none)