#well I guess your name is canadian trevor then

[curiosityschild]

Amphibiuary Day 17: Toad

This is Canadian Trevor, my plastic halloween toad.

Why did I name him Canadian Trevor? I’m glad you asked! Because it came to me in a dream.

Photo of my reference below the cut

Thank you for modeling for me Canadian Trevor.

[rreskk]

First drinks

Summary: Back in the Midwest, a broke thief and criminal had found himself drinking with a lonely, abnormal Canadian drifter after an unusual... Interaction.

Pairings: Michael Townley/ Trevor Philips

Word count: 668

“So…” Michael, having no appetite for the pint of beer in front of him, tried to make conversation.

He had been sitting there uncomfortably as he watched this guy – A fellow Canadian – down a few glasses of spirits even though they both just threw up in the public toilets not even 5 minutes up the road. The stranger was fascinating… He had these creepy, brown eyes that had pupils so dysfunctional. Every time Michael dared looked into those eyes, he swore them black pearls would increase in size and it freaked him out.

“Not thirsty?” The man finally spoke after minutes of being dead silent.

“Not really.”

The stranger looked conflicted. His face was unique. A good couple of facial scars, bushy eyebrows, a growing stubble and manic, overgrown hair; an unusual mixture between mohawk and mangled mullet. Whether or not it was styled, it oddly suited him.

“You said you were called Michael?”

“Yeah… Michael Townley.”

“Ah, Townley. Mind if I called you Mikey instead?”

“Sure, I don’t care.” He responded with a quiet voice, letting the background music disturb the tension.

“So, Mikey, what were you doing with that turd back there?” The stranger questioned as he downed another shot.

Michael paused for a moment. What was I doing? He’d think before answering with short lies.

“Drifting.”

“Oh!” He had peaked the interest of the man opposite, “You’re a drifter as well? So am I. I’ve just been causing shit load of mayhem across the border. No place in mind. You?”

Fuck, he cursed to himself. Why did he have to give such an open lie? He was left to ponder only the truth.

“Nah… I’m not a… Drifter. I was just hoping to, uh, you know…”

“Hoping to what?”

“The usual… Steal and shit. I- I just didn’t expect you to shoot him in the head with a… Flare-gun?” He muttered.

“The guy was an ass anyway.”

Michael breathed out in relief. He adjusted the winter jacket around him and felt the Midwest cold get to him, even through the lively bar.

“You wouldn’t be cold if you’d drink up, Townley.”

He stared towards the Canadian and sighed. Maybe he’s right, and with that, he took a couple of sips before realising he hadn’t of asked for a name.

“Oh, hah, what’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I was waitin’ for you to ask,” The guy smirked, “I thought you were too shy to ask. I’m Trevor Philips.”

“Trevor… Well, it’s nice to meet you… Under the circumstances.”

“You best believe it, buddy. That’s how good friendships start, ay.” Trevor murmured, his accent getting stronger at the end.

“If you say so.”

“So you steal?” He’d continue raiding the conversation with his big mouth, “What sorta stuff? Gas stations or are you a proper lad who robs banks? I’m gonna be honest, Mikey, ain’t no good robber gets chased by some lanky American scumbag to my cargo plane.”

“Woah, don’t be so fast to judge, bro. He was on my ass big time.” Michael frowned at his bluntness.

“The cunt couldn’t walk faster than 10mp.”

“I played soccer in high-school, I know what fast is.”

“Really?” Trevor snickered, “Oh, I played hockey in high-school but you don’t see me braggin’ about it when I’m in my late 20s, ay?”

“Whatever…” He rolled his eyes and sipped more of his beer.

“You’re a cool guy, Mikey. Remind me to keep in touch after this. I wouldn’t mind rolling around with your stupid circus show on the run.”

Michael raised an eyebrow at Trevor. He can’t be serious, right? His mind was puzzled at this request. He barely earned enough to live at a motel room for a week and this random guy wants to join the game like it’s nothing?

Fuck… He must be batshit insane.

“I guess I could use a partner.” He mumbled, hiding his surprise.

Mr Philips nodded his head and lifted his glass, “You won’t be disappointed, bro. Cheers.”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Chortle headlines roundup, anyone?

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. We're not doing this. Jeremy Hardy went in his late 50s, Paul Sinha's health is deteriorating, if we lose Mark Steel before his time then they'll have to just cancel Radio 4. Not doing that. Fuck that shit. He's only 63, that's younger than my parents. Absolutely not.

...The article does say the condition is treatable and he'll likely be okay after a while, so that's good. It also has some on-brand quotes from him that muse on mortality. Good man. We are not losing that one yet.

(Obviously... not to make a serious issue all about me and other lovers of Radio 4 or anything... I wish a speedy recovery and the best for him and his family and all that.)

I wasn't sure I was going to watch season 3 of this - not that seasons 1 or 2 were bad, but season 2 didn't keep my attention all that well (except when Joe Wilkinson and Jessica Hynes were on), I figured I get the idea and don't really need to see a lot more. But actually, that's quite a good lineup. Roisin Conaty is always funny. Add in Alan Davies, Guz Khan, and Chris McCausland - and yeah, I'll probably give Knockoff Taskmaster a watch again.

You know, I wondered about then when I watched the French and Saunders show. The constant fat jokes about Dawn French seemed okay because she was one of the writers, she was choosing to say it about herself, that makes it okay the same way it is when Jo Brand does it. But still, there really were a lot of them. And obviously comedians are pressured to make any feature about themselves into a USP, so just because she agreed to do the jokes doesn't mean she always wanted to. That show was funny, it's a pity to see this.

(Obligatory note that the headline, like most headlines, is a bit sensationalized, these Chortle headline round-ups are meant to be partly a joke about how the headlines don't really tell you anything and just throw a bunch of disparate facts in your face all at once, and you should really read the articles if you want to know stuff. But the information in the headline is basically accurate.)

The Aussies are coming! The Aussies are coming! With their excessive Rs after vowels and their mildly racist names for coolers!

(I briefly misread the Sam Campbell article's description as calling him a "Taskmaster winner", and had a split second of believing Chortle had somehow made a colossal blunder and accidentally posted a huge spoiler that made me very pleased.)

If they make that, I'll probably watch it. I might watch some of the Irish one because Aisling Bea and Catherine Bohart, even though the worst fucking person in the world is also on it.

I did watch the first two episodes of the Canadian one. Have I admitted that on here yet? It wasn't my finest hour - and it was just one hour, two episodes - when I watched reality TV on Amazon Prime. But Mae Martin was in it. Mae Martin was in it looking focused and intense as they tried not to laugh and for personal reasons I just had to see that. Then (spoiler alert, I guess) they were out after two episodes, so I didn't watch any further.

I have to admit I rather enjoyed it, though. The rest of the cast was also funny. It had Jon Lajoie, guy who made a bunch of funny videos when I was in high school that my friends and I used to quote all the time, then didn't make anything for like 12 years, then came back in 2020 with this absolute earworm that hit the perfect note of what we needed in early pandemic days:

Anyway, he was on the Canadian LOL show, and he was pretty entertaining. Also Colin Mochrie from Who's Line, which I used to watch as a kid. Tom Green, quite a good stand-up comedian who went to my high school (not at the same time or anything, he's much older than me, he's just the only famous person who ever went to my high school). K Trevor Wilson, aka Squirrly Dan from Letterkenny. Andrew Phung from Kim's Convenience. It was fun seeing the mishmash of Canadian comedy people from all these different things in one room. I guess would be less of a novelty in the UK, since we don't have panel shows here.

And I've got to admit, when I forced the judgmental "there is no logical reason why this is a higher form of entertainment than any other shit reality TV" part of my brain to turn off, I found the format pretty funny. I'd watch Irish people do that. I'd watch British people do it. I mean, I didn't love it enough to finish the show after Mae was gone. But I might go back to it at some point.

Still doing that, are we? Going with the cheeky term "peeing Tom" for men who spy on naked women without their consent? I don't object to Hugh Dennis playing the role obviously, they're not going to portray that as a guy we're supposed to like. Just not sure I love Chortle's word choice.

That's good. Put your minds at ease, people who are worried that Jim Davidson isn't mentoring aspiring comedians. Everything's okay.

I was about to say "Steve, what the fuck would you consider a 5-star show then?", but then I remembered that to be fair to Steve Bennett, the quality of this show does vary wildly depending what night you see it and who's in the audience. Don't turn up to this and derail it with heckles, everyone, even though you're allowed. The show in its proper form is brilliant.

I tried to ignore this one, I really did. But I'm sorry, that's too funny a headline not to include here. Sorry, Johnny. Bad luck.

[boognish-worshipper]

Midnight City AU

this is an au where the main characters are all young adults!! (or millennials ig? they’re in their 20s basically) i gave a rundown of what’s what on a diff post,, i’m also splitting it up into diff chapters,, so this is gonna take a looooong time to finish. i’m posting this before i nitpick my writing to the max

it’s basically a lot of references to that point in time, artists, pop culture etc. all the chapters are named after songs from that era (including the name of this au bc i love midnight city and what better way to describe LS ‼️), and the lyrics r usually connected to what the chapter’s about, or about a character dynamic :D i hope this isn’t too cheesy, or sounds off ig. any typos in this were probably over looked bc i constantly reread my writing and rearrange stuff and make sure it sounds good 🥳 hope y’all enjoy !!! i’m also including a tag to find the chapters under :)

//Chapter 1: Crimewave

Trevor would never, ever admit it, but he had fallen into the category known as “post-hipster”. This was a strange era that began culminating, taking LS by storm. Whether he liked it or not, he could never avoid it. Even if he swore up and down he wasn’t like them, it was practically a paradox. Saying he wasn’t like them just made him a branched off version of the thing he denounced. Each aesthetic that was churned out as the 2010s rolled in were tied to a style, a sound, and Trevor couldn’t care less. It’s not like people liked what he liked. He didn’t belong to anything in particular, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t like them. If anything, he just became another obscure genre in the mix.

One of his favorite music groups was a Canadian duo called Crystal Castles. He enjoyed a good number of their songs, developing an interest for electropunk and pop punk. There was something unique about the sound, and it made Trevor feel special, like he discovered some sort of hidden treasure. He was into pop punk groups like Paramore too, but it was something about them that was just different. People knew Paramore. He often lingered around Sterling Lake, where other post-irony hipsters and classic hipsters resided, careful not to fully associate with them. After all, he apparently despised them, even though he participated in their strange… “culture”. If you could even call it that. From time to time he would find himself discussing his favorite artists with whatever semi-normal person was there, making a couple friends himself who weren’t the snooty kind he’d grown used to.

They all loved talking about how exceptional their taste in music was, a wide variety of people hanging around with their own cliques. Some liked Fall Out Boy, while others liked Blink-182, and then there were the weirdos who liked groups like Radiohead. Most of those guys were whiny, proclaiming how misunderstood they were. He knew maybe one Radiohead song at most (he definitely, definitely never cried to “Creep” and even if he did, so what) but never found himself willingly getting into their music. Then you had the nosedivr crowd, which consisted of mostly girls, and the occasional hipster guy that defected. Their taste was.. alright. Consisted of artists like Lana Del Ray and Marina and the Diamonds, who were their idols. He found almost everyone there besides the few friends he made kind of edgy, and not in the cool way. But he figured all hipsters and guys like them were kind of uncool. Don’t even get him started on those other indie rock types. God. He still came back as often as he could though, establishing some kind of routine. Most people there avoided him anyway, which he preferred. He had enough troubles with them in the past. There was one day he grew tired of the people gawking at him, and he launched a hipster right into the lake. So yeah, nobody within their right mind so much as looked in his direction. That was just how he rolled.

Today, he sat on a nearby bench in Sterling Lake’s park, watching some ducks float on water. His usual friends had been there too, seeing his clowncore buddy Wade with his cousin Floyd. Wade was extremely different than the pretentious fucks around them. He had a shit ton of piercings, and ICP was his favorite music group. Floyd on the other hand, fit right in. Almost too much, like it was something he was forced to do. But he did genuinely enjoy Weezer, of all things you could enjoy. Wade started waving at Trevor, while Floyd hid behind him. All he did was awkwardly wave back, turning his attention back to the lake. He liked Wade, but the clown stuff he wore sometimes spooked him. He didn’t pay much mind to his relative. Looking back across the water, he saw someone new, observing the area. Some dude a little above the average height, hands in his pockets walking around. He seemed a bit lost, and Trevor figured he should help if he was. After all, what was this guy doing here? New people didn’t show up often.

“Hey bud, you lost or something?”

“Oh uh, nah not really. I’m just looking for this girl I met a while ago, said she hangs out around here?”

“What she look like? I’m here pretty often.”

“Uhh kinda short, dark brownish hair? Wears fishnet stockings, high waisted shorts or whatever those grunge people are into.”

“Let me guess, she into the Neighborhood?”

“How’d you know?”

“Yeah, that’s Amanda, she’s a bit of a regular. Not too fond of me I must say.”

“How come?”

“She’s just petty towards me.” He said with a shrug. He didn’t feel like relaying his encounters with her if the guy was dating her or something.

“Oh… well d’ya think you could help me find her? I don’t really know anybody else here. I could actually use the help, since you know her.”

“Eh sure, why not.”

It’s not like he had anything better to do. The two began to walk around the park, gravel and dirt crunching beneath their feet.

“So.. what’s this place about?” The strange guy asked.

“Hm? Oh, it’s just one of those places the hipster folks meet up I guess. Don’t understand it much myself, nor do I really like them.”

“Then why do you come here?”

“Dunno. It’s relatively peaceful, those freaks keep to themselves.”

The man, who was only a smidge shorter than Trevor, glared up at him.

“Hey man, don’t call my girl a freak.”

“Ehh I don’t really count her in with the generic skinny jean wearing hipsters. More of a.. what is it called.. nosedivr type. Whatever that stupid website’s called. Why do you think she dresses like that?”

“Huh.. Never really thought to ask her.”

As he thought about the stuff Amanda wore, he took note of how the man next to him was dressed. He sported an olive jacket with a black turtle neck, and a plain pair of jeans. He wore beat up black converse to top it off, and a pair of Rimmers sunglasses sat upon his head. He looked simple, yet distinguished with the way he presented himself, hair neatly combed back. He figured the two would look nice standing next to one another. They would’ve made an attractive couple, if they weren’t dating already, the kind that turns heads. Trevor wasn’t like them. He wore a black beanie over his mullet, and his favorite pair of red Dix sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose. The rest of his fit looked disheveled. He had thrown on a wrinkled top, solid black with little surf boards and cars along the bottom- he was a sucker for Hawaiian shirts. His pants were tan colored but had some bleach stains, with old combat boots on his feet.

“Yeah, we may not like each other but I don’t really consider her a freak like those guys.”

He jutted a thumb in the direction of a circle of guys huddled around a phone. The man holding the phone had strawberry blonde hair and a clean outfit on. An expensive looking outfit.

“Who are they?”

“The people here I absolutely cannot fucking stand. The genuine hipsters.”

“Oh.. and you’re..?”

“I’m my own kind. I’m not like these losers, all uppity and shit.”

“Right. Gotcha.”

They walked around a bit more before finding the group Amanda was with. She sat on a bench, chatting with a few girls who dressed similarly to her. All of them had black incorporated into their style. She herself had a black jumper on, tucked neatly into the front of her jean shorts. Just like the guy described, she had fishnets on under them, skater shoes to match. Loose braids fell on her shoulders, and a small black choker was wrapped around her neck.

“Oh, there he is now! Babe! Over here!”

She narrowed her eyes upon seeing Trevor standing next to him.

“Hello, Trevor.” She huffed.

“Relax, I was helping your boyfriend or whatever look for you.”

Her face softened slightly, but still kept a small glare in his direction. She pressed her lips together tight before replying.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Yup.”

The man turned to face Trevor, sticking out a hand.

“Hey, thanks for showing me around. Trevor, is it?”

“Don’t wear it out.”

He shook his hand, noticing how soft it was. It was in stark contrast to his own, which was rough and calloused.

“Name’s Michael. I’ll see you around most likely? Thanks again.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Amanda huffed again, nudging Michael’s shoulder.

“Let’s go hun, Bean Machine closes soon!”

“I’m comin’ I’m comin’!”

The two sauntered off, hand in hand. Trevor stood dumbly, watching them walk away. He was right. They did look good together. He wondered if he would actually see this Michael again, kicking a rock. He went back to the bench he originally sat at, putting his earbuds in, listening to some Crystal Castles again to pass the time. The beat thumped in his ears, and all he could think was how much better this shit was compared to that club music shit that played on every radio station in a 5 foot radius. He sat there, scrolling through his own secret nosedivr account, reblogging some photo of a lit cigarette. Right before a hand touched his shoulder causing him to jump.

“What the fuck- Oh. Ron.”

Ron was another friend of Trevor’s, a guy he had met outside one of the iFruit stores talking about how “they’re tapping the phones they sell in there!” and all that conspiracy nonsense. He was a paranoid guy, but Trevor kind of liked that about him. Those were the kind of freaks he liked. He was shorter than Trevor, sort of frail in stature. He wore a bright red windbreaker over a faded tourist tee that read “I went to Liberty City and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!”, along with khaki colored cargo shorts. It didn’t help that he wore some goofy looking bucket hat, and socks with sandals. He dressed like someone’s middle aged father.

“Trevor! Have you seen Wade around anywhere?”

“Last I checked, he was with Floyd.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“Uh no, but my best bet is they went to that vinyl shop Floyd’s girlfriend works at.”

“Will ya come with me to find him?”

“Now why the fuck would I do that? What do you need him for?”

“Well I- I uh- um..”

“I uh! I uh! Spit it out Ron!”

“It’s about the Merryweather Night Club.”

Merryweather was a big organization that had a wide range of private clubs all over the country, and complimentary body guards to suit. They were all expensive as fuck, and anywhere they settled jacked up the prices of everything else. A lot of neighborhoods became gentrified as a result, and people actually considered it a good thing. What a fucking joke. Trevor of course couldn’t stand it. He hated bullies, and Merryweather was no exception. He’d been wanting to dismantle the club since they settled in LS, seeing as they only amplified the fake feel of the city. Let’s just say he’s gotten into more than a few scuffles with the club. And let’s just say it ended with someone getting stabbed as a result. The guy had it coming to him anyway. Between bouncers and the clubbers, they didn’t like Trevor or his kind loitering around the joint. It didn’t stop him from plotting some sort of revenge though. Ron per usual was on board, his reason being Merryweather’s violent history that had been swept under the rug. They were rather forceful relocating people who had lived in certain neighborhoods for years, Ron being one of their victims. Wade only decided to tag along because he wanted to be included.

“Ah fuck, what’d those bastards do now?”

“They’re throwing some big party!”

“…What fucking for?”

“All I know some guy’s coming to visit, somebody they labeled important and he’s-“

“Woah woah woah wait, Ron. Who?”

“Steve Haines.” He breathed out, careful not to be overheard.

Trevor’s eyes widened, his gaze shooting over to the posse he had poked fun of before. Steve was talking to the group, all of them doing that fake laugh they always did. God, even their humor was pretentious.

“Those fucking hipsters!” He hissed.

“I abhor them, you know that-“

“I know. I know. But, that Weston guy’s gonna be there with him-“

“Weston? Devin Weston?”

If Trevor hated hipsters, then he utterly loathed rich daddy’s money boys like Devin Weston. He had only gotten that stupid fucking night club because his father paid Don Percival enough money to let Devin do whatever he pleased with the Merryweather body guards. It was an elitist club, and they only allowed the best of the best in there.

“What the fuck’s going on there?”

“Something to do with those guys he hangs out with. I think they’re doing something major, expansion maybe-”

“And him and Devin are working together or..?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t hear much after that, that’s why I wanted to grab you and Wade and-”

“Then let’s fucking go get him, Ron!”

The two rushed out of there, heading for the vinyl store to look for Wade. Trevor knew a shit storm was coming, and he absolutely couldn’t wait.

//the next chapter’s gonna be longer i promise lolz

[martinnecas]

Quick Guide | Carolina Hurricanes: Meet The Team - Opening Night 2019-20

New season means a new quick guide to the roster 

2018-19 season

This took me a couple of days to put together so please appreciate it

Want to know how to pronounce a players name? 

Click this link!

*All gifs made by me* 

Forwards: 

☞ Sebastian Aho™️ #20

Yes there is another “Sebastian Aho” from Sweden but he’s usually in the AHL (Bridgeport/Islanders)

Born: July 26, 1997 (22 years old/Leo) from Rauma, Finland

6′0, Centre, 35th overall CAR 2015

Nicknames: Fishy, Seabass, Sepe, Sebu

He’s the face of this franchise and the only player on this team that the Canadian media knows about

Is being held against his will in Raleigh because he wants to play for Montreal if you don’t know the actual story MTL sent him an offer sheet that he signed because he wanted the money and knew Carolina could pay it, but you know how Habs twitter can be.

Possibly the messiest Hurricane 

Who’s my daddy?! 

Spirit animal is a lion, hear him roar

Avid coffee drinker

Baby face

Painted a picture of his cat one time

☞ Ryan Dzingel #18 

Born: March 9, 1992 (27 years old/Pisces) from Wheaton, Illinois

6′0, Centre, 204th overall OTT 2011

Nicknames: Zinger, Dizzy, Dzingel Bells, D-pingel

Played with the Ohio State Buckeyes for 3 seasons, recorded the first hat trick in Big Ten history against Xichigan

Traded to CBJ Feb ‘19, signed with CAR as a free agent summer ‘19 

Might need glasses, he squints like that ^ a lot 

Golfs... A L O T 

Wants to produce for the team so he can stay here in Raleigh and make it his home ♥︎

Jeep guy 

Looks uncomfortably similar to Tripp Tracy 

UNC fan 

☞ Warren Foegele #13

Born: April 1, 1996 (23 years old/Aries) from Markham, Ontario 

6′2, Left Wing, 67th overall CAR 2014

Nicknames: Foegs, Foegdaddy 

Best friends with Andrei Svechnikov and Dougie Hamilton

Duke fan 

Accidentally broke Osh*e’s collarbone but TJ and C*p fans will claim he tried to murder him

Spirit animal is a tiger, also hear him roar

Very easily scared 

Duke fan

☞ Erik Haula #56

Born: March 23, 1991(28 years old/Aries) from Pori, Finland

6′0, Left Wing, 181st overall 2009 MIN

Nicknames: Hauls, Haulsy  

Moved to Minnesota in 2008 to play hockey in boarding school

Played for the University Of Minnesota Gophers for 3 seasons

Signed with MIN in 2013, was picked up by the VGK in 2017 as a free agent in the Expansion Draft, then traded to CAR summer of 2019 (for Nic Roy & draft pick)

Suffered a pretty bad knee injury in the 2018-19 season 

CAKE 

Got married this past summer ♥︎

Currently living in Calvin de Haan’s old house 

☞ Jordan Martinook (A) #48

Born: July 25, 1992 (27 years old/Leo) from Brandon, Manitoba

6′0, Left Wing, 58th overall 2012 PHX

Nicknames: Marty, Marty Man, Marty Party 

Signed with PHX/ARI in 2012, traded to CAR in 2018 (for Krüger)

Raw chaotic dad energy 

Doesn’t like corndogs and has a very high pitched scream

His wife gave birth to their first son last season before he got his downstairs fixed in the offseason

LETS GO SVECH

Spirit animal is a dolphin because he has a great impression 

There is so much more I want to put on here but you should really just follow his Twitter 

☞ Brock McGinn #23

Born: February 2, 1994 (25 years old/Aquarius) from Fergus, Ontario

6′0, Left Wing, 47th overall 2012 CAR

Nicknames: Ginner, Brock McWinn, McPing, the new Mr. Game Seven (that one is kind of a joke though), Big Cock Brock 

Single handedly defeated evil not only once but twice on April 24th, 2019, earning him the nicknames “Brock McWinn” and the new “Mr. Game Seven”

Has two brothers who also play professionally; Jamie (NHL) and Tye (AHL) McGinn

Co Owner of the Roanoke Rail Road Dawgs with his brothers and father

His daddy is Bob

Has a high probability of burning his whole house down 

Used to be a fighter, but he didn’t fight anyone last season 

Thor

Was 3rd in the league with most MsS Post (10) in the 2017-18 season earning him the nickname Brock McPing 

☞ Martin Nečas #88

Born: January 15, 1999 (20 years old/Capricorn) from Nove Mesto na Morave, Czech Rebublic

6′2, 12th overall 2017 CAR, “He plays, like, Centre”

Nicknames: Neči, Marty, Nacho, Marto 

Your 2019-20 ****** ****** winner 

He’s here to fix out PP units, quote me on that

Little hockey stick chain ^ 

Is known for falling while scoring 

Is it avocado or avocaydo?

Hidden talent: Belly dancing 

Almost killed the entire team with a golf club last season  

Don’t mess with him

Just won the Calder Cup with the Checkers :) 

☞ Nino Niederreiter #21

Born: September 8, 1992 (27 years old/Virgo) from Chur, Switzerland

6′0, Right Wing, 5th overall 2010 NYI

Nicknames: El Nino

Was the highest drafted Swizz born player until Hischer in 2017 

Signed to the Islanders in 2010, traded to Minnesota in 2013, then traded to Carolina in January 2019 (for Rask)

Was about to take a nap when he was traded

Just when canes fans almost lost hope, Nino showed up and saved our season

When he came to Carolina, someone gave him sweet tea and he really liked it

Was voted best dressed by a couple teammates

Loves the surge

Supports women’s hockey

☞ Jordan Staal (C) #11

Born: September 10, 1988 (31 years ago/Virgo) from Thunder Bay, Ontario

6′4, Centre, 2nd overall 2006 PIT

Nicknames: Stallsy, Jordad, Gronk

Arrested at his brother’s bachelor party

Won the Stanley Cup with the Penguins in 2009 

Jordan is the youngest out of the other brothers (Eric, Marc) in the league (NHL) 3rd brother is the youngest and is now a coach 

Signed with PIT in 2006, traded to CAR in 2012 (for 8th overall pick, Brandon Sutter and Brian Dumoulin)

Named Captain in the 2017-18 season, became Alternative Captain in 2018-19, is now Captain again in 2019-20 

Great at dad jokes 

☞ Andrei Svechnikov #37

Born: March 26, 2000 (19 years old/Aries) from Barnaul, Russia

6′2, Right Wing, 2nd overall 2018 CAR

Nicknames: Svech, Mother Russia 

Svech is ready

“Just win every game” 

Wears #37 because that’s what his brother, Evgeny Svechnikov (DET), wears

Russia = Cold, Raleigh = Hot

Apparently his biggest talent outside of hockey is… magic? 

Best friends with Warren Foegele and Dougie Hamilton

Likes to shovel the ice during practice 

Me?

Terrible at golf..

.. I mean like really bad  

☞ Teuvo Teräväinen #86

Born: September 11, 1994 (25 years old/Virgo) from Helsinki, Finland

5′11, Left Wing, 18th overall 2012 CHI 

Nicknames: Turbo, Teukka

Shortest Hurricane 

Began with CHI in 2014, traded to CAR in 2016 (along with Bickell for 2nd round pick)

Won the cup with CHI in 2015 (Along with van Riemsdyk)

Has the worst sense of smell ever

I mean come on.. pumpkin? toothpaste? 

I could keep going with this I don't know what’s wrong with his nose

Most likely the messiest Hurricane 

Would dump Sebastian on the side of the road after 100km 

Gets scared REALLY easily

His sisters plays hockey over in Finland (and is pretty good at it too) 

☞ Lucas Wallmark #71

Born: September 5, 1995 (24 years old/Virgo) from Umea, Sweden

6′0, Centre, 97th overall 2014 CAR

Nicknames: Wally

My daddy!?

His spirit animal is�� a horse? 

^ He enjoys watching horse racing

*Straight face* “Snacks!? Candy!?” 

Deal with it

Showed up to a U12 and U18 team practice to work on skills with kids 

Owns a pug named Lovis

Defense 

☞ Joel Edmundson #6

Born: June 28, 1993 (26 years old/Cancer) Brandon, Manitoba

6′4, 46th overall 2011 STL

Nicknames: Crop Top King, Eddy

Won the cup in 2019 with STL and partied in a crop top 

True Canadian, ate poutine out of the cup

Traded in September 2019 to CAR (along with Bokk for Faulk and draft pick)

Going to strengthen our PK I promise 

Finally, an enforcer 

Forgot to take his skate guards off during his CAR preseason debut in front of 18,000 people 

Is a barbie girl, living in a barbie world 

☞ Haydn Fleury #4

Born: July 8, 1996 (23 years old/Cancer) from Carlyle, Saskatchewan 

6′3, 7th overall 2014 CAR

Nicknames: Fleurs 

Beat his little brother Cale (MTL) during his NHL debut 

Best friends with Trevor van Riemsdyk

Has the cutest dog named Kobe

Won the Calder Cup along with Nečas :)

If you want to giggle watch this 

Has the worst witch cackle you will ever hear 

Apparently the best golfer on the team

Big Duke fan

☞ Jake Gardiner #51

Born: July 4, 1990 (29 years old/Cancer) from Minnetonka, Minnesota 

6′2, 17th overall 2008 ANA

Nicknames: Gards 

Played for the University of Wisconsin for 3 seasons 

Traded to TOR in 2011, signed as a free agent to CAR in summer 2019

Has the cutest baby 

Denied several offers from other teams mtl to play with us instead 

Hands down had the best Halloween costume two years ago

☞ Dougie Hamilton #19

Born: June 17, 1993 (26 years old/Gemini) from Toronto, Ontario

6′6, 9th overall 2011 BOS

Nicknames: D-Ham, Doug the Thug, well his real name is Douglas so I guess Dougie is technically a nickname

Tallest Hurricane 

Both of his parents are Olympians, brother also plays professional hockey 

Started with BOS in 2012, traded to CGY in 2015, then traded to CAR in 2018 (Last remaining player from the huge Hamilton, Ferland & Fox for Lindholm and Hanifin trade)

Best friends with Andrei Svechnikov and Warren Foegele 

Porche guy 

Grew out a mullet because his hair salon couldn’t take him as a walk in

Jack Edwards complained that he was wearing a number retired from the Whalers so he taped a 6 over the 1 in 19 to make 69

Goes to children's hospitals dressed as woman characters 

Lowkey shootout king

Floss

Another Duke fan

Wears the same blazer to every road game

☞ Brett Pesce #22

Born: November 15, 1994 (24 years old/Scorpio) from Tarrytown, New York

6′3, 66th overall 2013 CAR

Nicknames: Pesh 

“I play defense bro”

Played for the University of New Hampshire for 3 seasons (2 of those seasons with van Riemsdyk)

Pretty ^

Wears 22 for his dad 

He’ll break your ankles

Fortnite squad

Brought his wonderful brother on the mentors trip

Allergic to cats

☞ Jaccob Slavin (A) #74

Born: May 1, 1994 (25 years old/Taurus) from Denver, Colorado

6′3, 120th overall 2012 CAR

Nicknames: Slav-o

The second ‘c’ stands for captain

Faith and family

Played for Colorado College for two seasons 

Adopted a beautiful baby girl with his beautiful wife

Has an instagram for his two dogs

His daddy is “Robert” 

Not afraid of snakes at all 

☞ Trevor van Riemsdyk #57

Born: July 24, 1991 (28 years old/Leo) from Middletown, New Jersey

6′2, Undrafted 

Nicknames: TVR, Riems

Agreed to terms with CHI in 2014 

Won the cup with CHI in 2015 (along with Teräväinen)

Was picked up by the VGK in the 2017 expansion draft 

The next day traded to CAR (for 2nd round pick)

James van Riemsdyk (PHI) is his older brother 

Played with the University of New Hampshire for 3 seasons (2 of those seasons with Pesce) 

He’s too tired to be scared 

March Madness

Best friends with Haydn Fleury 

Pride representative for the team 

Goalies 

☞ Petr Mrázek #34

Born: February 14, 1992 (27 years old/Aquarius) from Ostrava, Czech Republic

6′1, 141st overall 2010 DET

Nicknames: Mrazzle Dazzle, St. Petr

Moved to Ottawa at age 17 

Signed with DET in 2014

Was HUGE for them during the 2015 playoff run

Traded to PHI in Feb ‘18, signed as a free agent with CAR in July ‘18

Stylish 

He had custom hats made for every player on the team

Always has Peter Griffin in his helmet design 

Signature move: Poke Check  

☞ James Reimer #47

Born: March 15, 1988 (31 years old/Pisces) from Morweena, Manitoba

6′2, 99th overall 2006 TOR

Nicknames: Optimus Reim, The Statue, Reims

Debuted with TOR in 2010, traded to SJS Feb ‘16

Signed with FLA as a free agent summer ‘16, traded to CAR summer ‘19 (for Darling and a 2020 6th round pick)

Has two kids 

Really good swimmer

You may recognize this famous goalie meme, that’s right, that's him

Optimus Reim helmet art

He looks so much like Weston from Love Island USA 

Honorable Mention

☞ Julien Gauthier #44

I’m including him because everyone expected him to make the team as he did phenomenal in the preseason (playing all 6 games) but due to cap space (and our horrid pp units), he was sent back down.

Born: October 15, 1997 (turning 22/Libra) from Pointe-aux-Trembles, Quebec

6′4, Right Wing, 21st overall 2016 CAR

Nicknames: Goat, Gauths, Jules

Big boy

Bilingual (French/English)

Cute accent

His uncle played 554 games in the NHL (Denis Gauthier) 

Both his father and grandfather were professional bodybuilders

That explains his muscles

The best thighs in the league (not up for debate) 

Also won the Calder Cup this past season with Haydn Fleury and Martin Nečas

Head Coach

☞ Rod Brind’Amour #17

Roderick Jean Brind’Amour

Born: August 9, 1970 (age 49 years/Leo) from Ottawa, Canada

6′1, Centre, 9th overall 1988 STL

Nicknames: Rod the Bod, RBA 

Played with Michigan State for one season

Started with STL in the playoffs of ‘88, traded to PHI in ‘91, traded to CAR in 2000

Captain of the 2006 CAR Stanley Cup winning team

Played 20 seasons, 1,484(GP) 452(G) 732(A) 1,184(P)

Became head coach for the 2018-19 season

First year as HC broke the team’s 9 year playoff drought and brought them all the way to the ECF

Is known for his extreme workouts

Still in better shape than 98% of the league

Could very well still lace up and play better than 80% of the league 

Lives rent free in W*lson’s and Reirden’s heads

Gives the best post-game speeches

President & General Manager

☞ Don Waddell

I really just wanted an excuse to put this gif in here 

Coached the 1998 DET Stanley Cup winning team 

Named Pres. & GM of CAR in May ‘18

Owner

☞ Tom Dundon 

Lives rent free is Habs fans minds

Estimated net worth is $1.1 billion?

Majority owner of TopGolf (55%)

Chairman of the Alliance of American Football

Purchased 52% of CAR in January 2018 for $420million

Likes to hang around team/fan events 

Stays in the same hotel as me lol

[ithacamoma]

20 QUESTIONS FOR: TREVOR KIERNANDER

“There is a Ghost”

Oil, acrylic, and oil stick on linen

101.5cm x 76cm (40in x 30in) (image courtesy of the artist)

1.Name:

Trevor Kiernander

2.Occupation(s):

Artist/painter

3.Where are you from and what is your education?

I was born in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, and grew up in Cambridge, Ontario, Canada, from the age of 12. I lived in Montreal between 2002-2007, London, England from 2007-2014, and back in Montreal since 2014.

Took Art Fundamentals and my Interpretive Illustration Diploma at Sheridan College, Canada, a BFA in Painting & Drawing from Concordia University, Canada, and an MFA from Goldsmiths, University of London, UK.

4.Where do you live/work (neighbourhood/city/country)?

Currently living in the Rosemont/Petit Patrie area of Montreal, and my studio is located in Parc Ex.

5.Does your location affect your practice?  

Definitely, both affects and informs. I am about a 20-minute walk from my studio and I have more studio space than I have ever had. Both of these factors allow me to work a lot, and experiment with new ideas and materials on a regular basis. And only in the past few years (since being back in Montreal) have I come to realize that my work is about my relationship to space, and therefore obviously the spaces I work in.

6.What is your favourite tool in the studio?

I have made my own version of a “brush”, but it’s top secret…

7.Where do you look for your source material?

Anywhere and everywhere, really. I take lots of photos when I am out, but I also like snagging other people’s images from the internet. Also screen shots of things I’m watching on my computer. They mainly reappear in paintings and drawings as fragments, but it’s all there in my head somewhere.

8.What is your daily art world read?

Painting at the End of the World  It is not necessarily a daily read, but Ian Gonczarow also runs an Instagram page of the same name and posts some really great work. I am also on a few mailing lists, like Artsy, etc., but there are a few online ones like Painters Talking Painting on FB (the new FB algorithms are pretty shit, mind, and so once you click on a news story, you seem to only ever get news from those sources). Other than that, it’s mainly Instagram.

9.What is your daily non-art-world read?

The Onion or Daily Mash. The “real world” news is too depressing…

10.What role does writing play in your practice? 

Not as much as I would like it to.

11.What role does research play in your practice?

Depends on the definition of research. I read daily, and have a pretty decent library in my studio, so I am constantly referencing things, remembering essays I have read in the past, looking at artist monographs, but also getting out to see as much art as I can around town.

12.What role does collaboration play in your practice?  

Not much at all, but I am always up for new things.

13.How does success affect your practice?  

Again, I guess it depends on one’s definition of success? Like, I successfully left my job in London and moved back to Canada to work full-time in the studio. I think “success” follows the same plateaus you find in an art practice. You work hard at something and then finally reach a particular level, keep that up for a while until the next plateau, and so on. I definitely don’t jump on to something that is “commercially successful” and keep that going. I get bored too easily.

14.How does failure affect your practice?

I don’t believe in failure but see mistakes as something to build from. It works that way in each painting as well. I often try different things when painting, colours, mediums, techniques, directions, and if it doesn’t work out, I keep it, and work other elements into the composition to make everything relate.

15.What do you identify as the biggest challenge in your artistic process?

Being able to keep painting.

16.Who are some historical artists you are thinking about?  

Paul Klee, Wassily Kandinsky, Willem de Kooning, Peter Lanyon, for painting.

17.Who are some contemporary artists you are thinking about?  

Again, in painting, Amy Sillman (US), Charley Peters (UK), Delphine Hennelly (US), Leopold Plotek (CA)… there are quite a lot, actually, and many I am happy to call friends. I try to see as much painting as I can and try to keep an open mind to it all.

18.How do you describe what you are making now?  

Oof. I just made myself a drawing station in my studio. It’s made out of scrap wood and a new IKEA table top I found.

As for my painting, I am working off of ideas from my current show at the Galerie d’art d’Outremont in Montreal (up until April 28th,), developing compositions and installation ideas made up of numerous surfaces. My work is continuous, meaning I don’t just make a particular body of work for a particular show, but I constantly paint, and then make a selection of work that I feel makes sense in the space I will be exhibiting in. I kinda go through a slump after a show, which I am sure a lot of people do, but I need to keep at it, so I spend a good week or two after the show, stretching and priming up some linen and canvas. I am really looking forward to working on more linen/canvas diptychs, this sort of duality thing I have been making since a residency in Leipzig in 2017-18. That, and trying to understand deeper connections between painting and music, rhythm, etc.

19.Who is an artist that you think deserves more attention?

Too many to mention. I think more attention needs to be paid to Canadian artists as a whole.

20.How can we find out more about you (relevant links etc)?  

trevorkiernander.com www.instagram.com/ttothek9/

[racingtoaredlight]

College Football 2020 Season Week 8 TV Watch Em Ups: worst case scenario colored glasses

We all should have realized the end was nigh when Wisconsin finally showed up for the season sporting an honest to god four star QB that they had recruited out of high school.

It’s Halloween, there’s a super full extra bloody moon or some such shit, Trevor Lawrence has COVID, the Dodgers won the World Series and Tuesday is election day. All of these things seem foreboding. Oh! And there’s also an asteroid that might hit us on Monday!

Let’s see how many games I write up before the impending doom takes me out this week.

Saturday, October 31

Matchup                                                         Time (ET)           TV/Mobile

16 Kansas State at West Virginia                 12:00pm              ESPN2

College football is always nonsense but this year is extra nonsensical. Both of these teams kind of suck but one of them is ranked #16. K-State is favored in Morgantown and that just seems iffy.

5 Georgia at Kentucky                                   12:00pm              SECN

We are all shocked that Kentucky isn’t actually any good. Of course they’ll feature in some upset updates this week but that’s just because Kirby Smart sucks.

Purdue at Illinois                                             12:00pm                BTN

The way things are going this could be your last chance to see Rondale Moore as a Purdue Boilermakers so that’s something to watch for.

20 Coastal Carolina at Georgia State            12:00pm             ESPNU

I told you last week that there aren’t ten good teams this year and look at this shit.

Michigan State at 13 Michigan                       12:00pm                FOX

Michigan is favored by 21.5 against a bad Michigan State team. If that’s not the set up for a great punchline, I don’t know what is.

23 Iowa State at Kansas                                  12:00pm                 FS1

How do you even get a 50.5-point line listed? That’s setting aside the oddity of being a 50.5-point home underdog. And all of this is setting aside the near certainty that upwards of 50% of the kids in this game have already tested positive for COVID and just weren’t ever notified because that might make them stop playing football. I’m sure there are kids like that all over the TV landscape today, I just have a gut feeling that these two programs would be among the worst offenders.

Wake Forest at Syracuse                                 12:00pm                ACCN 

ACC football, it’s still crappy!

Boston College at 1 Clemson                           12:00pm                  ABC

With Trevor Lawrence up on the shelf this is your first chance to see DJ Uigaleilei actually running the offense. The little bit I saw of him a few weeks ago didn’t inspire my imagination but he is huge and supposedly has quite the strong arm.

UTSA at Florida Atlantic                                    12:00pm               Stadium

The nation’s leading rusher plays for UTSA and his name is Sincere McCormick. I assume he’s actually a time-traveling cowboy.

Temple at Tulane                                                12:00pm                  ESPN+

Two of my favorite flavors of trash. I might not turn on the TV today, though.

Memphis at 7 Cincinnati                                    12:00pm                  ESPN

Part of the reason I’m not sure about my watch ‘em up consumption today is that Miami is off, part is that I won’t be at home most of the day, and part is that I’m afeared Little Ohio State is going to just thump the hell out of our beloved Memphis Tigers. If I check my phone and see this game is close in the third quarter I may feel compelled to check in on it.

UCF at Houston                                                  2:00pm                    ESPN+

For some reason I was thinking Dana Holgorsen had coached Josh Heupel at Oklahoma but Holgo was actually at Texas Tech with Mike Leach after Leach was at Oklahoma. Oh, well. This poison looks sweet to me.

Rice at Southern Miss                                        3:00pm                    ESPN3

My interest in this post is really starting to wane.

Troy at Arkansas State                                       3:00pm                    ESPN3 

In a non-pandemic year I’d love this game.

Abilene Christian at Mercer                               3:00pm                    ESPN3 

This game should be played in the middle of the night with no crowd and maybe no refs or coaches.

Western Colorado at Stephen F. Austin            3:00pm                     ESPN3

This is a 

17 Indiana at Rutgers                                         3:30pm                          FS1

This stupid year. If Rutgers pulls a second straight upset and Sparty somehow beats Michigan, the Rutgers Hauers will probably be ranked next week.

Northwestern at Iowa                                         3:30pm                       ESPN 

Iowa, as per usual, has like five guys on their team that will be NFL starters and still aren’t worth watching.

LSU at Auburn                                                     3:30pm                         CBS

It’s LSU and Auburn! Expect this one to go off the rails early and often.

UAB at Louisiana Tech                                       3:30pm                        Stadium

Good weird football but it’s on Stadium so I can’t recommend it.

4 Notre Dame at Georgia Tech                          3:30pm                          ABC 

The priest that was at the ACB Super Spreader luncheon is the school president of Notre Dame, right? He probably gave COVID to Trevor Lawrence to give his Fighting Satans a chance in hell against Clemson. What’s that you say? Notre Dame isn’t playing Clemson this week? Of course they aren’t. Notre Dame has this weekend off.

TCU at Baylor                                                      3:30pm                       ESPN2

I just threw my hands up and sighed. I don’t know how to type that feeling other than to describe the physical actions. You know what I mean.

Appalachian State at ULM                                  4:00pm                      ESPNU 

I don’t really know.

Virginia Tech at Louisville                                    4:00pm                    ACCN

These were supposed to be “good” ACC teams this year. They are not good teams but either one or both could still turn out to be good in ACC terms.

Texas at 6 Oklahoma State                                 4:00pm                       FOX 

Oklahoma State is fools gold in the rankings but that very fast Canadian kid is still fun to watch.

Mississippi at Vanderbilt                                     4:00pm                    SECN

There is nothing fun or interesting about this game.

Missouri Western at Central Arkansas              4:00pm                   ESPN3

These schools are both junior colleges.

25 Boise State at Air Force                                   6:00pm                 CBSSN

I don’t care what you lot say, Boise State football is a net good for the sport and I like it when they’re ranked.

New Mexico at San Jose State                             7:00pm                  FS1

This game probably shouldn’t be played at all but it definitely shouldn’t kick off at 4pm local time.

Mississippi State at 2 Alabama                            7:00pm               ESPN

Bama is going to be on cruise control for the rest of the regular season but that doesn’t mean they won’t win a few games by 50+.

Charlotte at Duke                                                  7:00pm            RSN/ESPN3 

Hooray Charlotte, I guess.

Navy at 22 SMU                                                     7:30pm                 ESPN2

I’m really not enjoying Navy’s reliance on throwing the ball this year.

Arkansas at 8 Texas A&M                                     7:30pm                  SECN

Again I say pig sooie.

3 Ohio State at 18 Penn State                              7:30pm                   ABC

There are only a few times where it is generally OK to root for the Buckeyes and playing Penn State is always one of those times.

Missouri at 10 Florida                                          7:30pm                  SECN 

I can’t remember if the Gators are wearing cool throwback uniforms this week or if they already did that last week. Somehow my mind is really rejecting this game in particular and I’m not really sure why.

Louisiana at Texas State                                     8:00pm                 ESPNU

This sucks.

15 North Carolina at Virginia                               8:00pm                  ACCN

Wa-hoo-wa imho.

24 Oklahoma at Texas Tech                                8:00pm                   FOX

FOX ads for this week really made it seem like Oklahoma and Oklahoma State were going to play each other but that is very much not the case.

San Diego State at Utah State                           9:30pm                CBSSN 

Huge throbbing boner at the thought of this game.

WKU at 11 BYU                                                    10:15pm               ESPN

BYU seems to be legitimately good for the first time in a while. I like that for nostalgia’s sake even though I have always hated BYU.

Nevada at UNLV                                                   10:30pm                 FS1 

I think UNLV plays in the Raiders stadium now but they might not yet. I don’t remember. I’d rather this game was still played in UNLV’s shitty old stadium over in Henderson.

GAMES OF THE WEEK

9 Wisconsin at Nebraska                  Canceled

North Texas at UTEP                         Postponed

[redsparrow2117]

Meeting the Queen

"Are you sure this is a good idea, mate?" Junkrat asked from his seat in the dropship. Trevor looked up from adjusting his combat vest.

"Jamie, trust me." He said pridefully. "Never doubt the negotiation power of a Canadian."

"Well, I think it is bad idea." Zarya said from the cockpit. She brought the ship low, and with a thud, they had landed. "Rat man and Roadhog were exiled for reason."

"She made it clear," Roadhog huffed as he disengaged his seat-lock. "We would be shot on sight."

"Oh, come on, guys," Trevor pouted. He unplugged his mechanical legs from their charger and stood from his seat. "Have some faith in me."

Everyone retrieved their weapons, but kept them slung so as to not appear thretening. The bay door opened, and the heat of the Australian outback entered the dropship. Stepping out, Trevor took in the environment. Desert surrounded them on all side, save directly ahead, where the massive gate to Junkertown sat, no, more squatted. It felt somewhat out of place, yet old at the same time. The hastily assembled wall looked as though it was sagging in response to the heat.

"Kinda reminds me of Afghanistan." Trevor commented.

"Reminds you of what?" Junkrat asked. Trevor cocked an eyebrow.

"Uh, skip it, bud." As they got nearer to the gate, a slot opened, and a rifle barrel poked out.

"JUNKRAT! ROADHOG! YOU KNOW THE RULES!" Shouted an angry voice. The rifle barrel shook with every word. "I'MMA COUNT TA THREE!"

"Easy, easy!" Trevor stepped in front of Junkrat, and Zarya unshouldered her particle cannon, ready for a fight. "They're not trying to get in! We wanna talk!"

"Who are you?!"

"My name's Trevor. I'm with Overwatch. Junkrat and Roadhog are our friends-."

"You're friends." Zarya interrupted. Trevor shot her a grumpy look before turning back to the door.

"Fine, MY friends. I wanted to negotiate with the Queen to maybe let them back into town."

There was a long pause, until Trevor heard the sound of someone spitting a lougie.

"Well, I suppose if anything, the Queen would like to shoot Junkrat herself. Dunno about Roadhog though." Everyone looked at Roadhog, who only shrugged in response. There was another pause.

"Alright, you wait there. I'll get the Queen." The rifle barrel went back into the darkness of the door slit, and it changed shut.

"See, guys?" Trevor said. "These folks can talk. They'll be reasonable."

"You didn't ask what we did to get exhiled." Roadhog said.

"Doesn't matter. You guys are my friends, I wanna help you." Trevor waved his hand dismissively.

"What did you two do?" Zarya asked. Roadhog sighed.

"Someone had the brilliant idea of trying to blow up the Queen."

"You went along with it!" Junket cried out. "Not one word of protest came out of your fat mouth!"

"You're paying me to help you, stupid." Roadhog growled.

"Hey!" Trevor turned and pushed Junkrat away from Roadhog. He meant to push both of them away, but Roadhog's bulk kept him firmly rooted to his spot. "Enough. It's done and over. There's no use in fighting over it. Just apologize. Besides, I'm sure this queen will be reasonable. She's probably really old and doesn't have a lot of years left, and will forgive you guys out of the kindness-"

Trevor was interrupted by the sound of the gate creaking open. Well, screaming, really. The hinges sounded so old as they opened, Trevor was surprised they didn't just rust apart and collapse. He turned, fixing his hair, and took in the welcome party.

At its head was a woman about Zarya's height. Trevor guessed she was in her late 30s, maybe early 40s, but then again, he was a terrible judge of age. Warpaint the color of the desert sand decorated the top half of her face. Her hair was shaved on the sides of her head, leaving a mess of hair on top. A hand's-length braid circled around her left shoulder. She was wearing an assortment of leather gear, with mismatched metal bracing and armor strapped on in random spots. A heavy war axe, which Trevor was pretty sure had come from some part of a car, was hefted on her shoulder. She looked like an Australian war goddess. Trevor felt Zarya's massive hand come down on the back of his neck and squeeze.

"Oh, Canada..." he moaned as if in pain.

[i-am-very-very-tired]

AKA interacts with fans – “Do you think the negativity towards me is because I’m a coloured person?” by adejoy Dec 19, 2018 AKA pops a question that attracted controversial responses while trying to interact with his fans which he calls ‘Megacy.” The rapper has had an awesome year, however, he feels he’s got lot of criticism and beef this year which triggered the question asked that, “do you think a lot of the negativity towards me is because I’m a coloured person?” While some of his fans believes he’s criticized because of his colour, others says his personality is the cause of the diss. Nah, remember Trevor is coloured too. But there’s no negatively towards him, so I guess it’s not about race. — Katlego Maseng (@KatlegoMaseng1) December 18, 2018 When your album came out and I was hyping it a friend of mine told me straight that he doesn’t like your music because you’re coloured. — Malwande Tshaka🇿🇦 (@MalwandeTshaka) December 18, 2018 There’s Youngsta, there’s Shane Eagle and more are coloured, I think it’s something to do with your attitude chief — #TheVillagePlug (@g_luxolo) December 18, 2018 Not at all Mega. You’re just super rude, super arrogant also, super successful. If you add those together, you’re bound to be disliked/draw negativity — Phumz Vilakazi (@PhumzVilakazi) December 18, 2018 Respect and a man who throws his fans phones around nah babes it does not go saam ya bo🤦🏾‍♀️ pic.twitter.com/l5kH5usWjy — Roshell Buys💞 (@jigyasa_flame) December 18, 2018 I genuinely had forgotten that you’re coloured. That just how much I relate to u as an artist. Keep your head high king, we love u❤️ — Rebotile👑 (@lihubhulu) December 18, 2018 The rapper replied to the controversial comments and also thanked his fans for interaction. “Thanks for the chats and the bants! Always dope interacting with you guys … especially about interesting stuff.” And don’t stress if not everybody digs you … look at me, everyone supposedly hates me …. and I went Platinum 😂😂😂😂😂😂 … who bought all those records?! I guess we’ll never know. — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 When it comes to people jumping on stage … it’s all about the energy. You are jumping into the Lion’s cage at the zoo. We are now PERFORMING together … you don’t see a phone in my hand, so ….. uhm. Yah. 😂 — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 Wait. Y’all think Trev is coloured? 😂 actually … this actually opens a bigger can of worms … which coloured people themselves are still searching for the answer to. What does it mean to be coloured 🤔 … In the South African context of course. https://t.co/MdzXzGG5ai — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 Well … being “coloured” in the South African context is super super complicated. Like for instance … for heritage day at school … what do you come dressed as? Klopse? Dickies? Definitely not. Malay? So many questions. https://t.co/xHiUeSSgR8 — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 If you ever meet me, I promise you’ll totally dig me .. I’m like the funniest, coolest guy ever 🤗🤗🤗 … https://t.co/DAubjj7gMF — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 Thanks for the chats and the bants! Always dope interacting with you guys … especially about interesting stuff. ❤️ — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 Come to think of it … how many COLOURED personalities exist in the mainstream in South Africa in 2018/2019 … and by main stream I mean, could you put their name on the back on a 30 seconds card? — AKA (@akaworldwide) December 18, 2018 Read more news AKA is the Greatest We’ve Got Right Now – Benni McCarthy AKA Set To Host His Own Radio Show on Touch HD AKA and Shane Eagle In Twitter War AKA to fans – If you stopped buying the music, I’d have no way to provide for my family Canada is looking for skilled immigrants! Canadian Visa Professionals | Sponsored Get your Green Card and Come live and work in the U.S - Free eligibility check U.S Green Card - Free Check | Sponsored The United States offers the best future for you and your family! Usafis | Sponsored Get Facebook Real Time Short Indicators Shortsight newsletter | Sponsored Language expert shares the secret to learning a language in 15 mins a day Babbel | Sponsored 10 Most Dangerous Bridges in the World Buzz Magazine | Sponsored Navy Husband Comes Home After Months Away And Finds Out His Wife's Secret DirectExpose | Sponsored Milnerton Singles are available on best Dating Sites Top5 dating sites | Sponsored Emtee Reveals The Real Reason He’d Never Work With Cassper Nyovest Emtee shocked South African hip hop fans on Wednesday when he declared that he will never work with Family Tree chief Cassper Nyovest. Emtee even swore on his mother. He has now revealed the reason he will never work with Cassper. “I will never work with him. He has been blowing up my phone telling Fakaza Posted by adejoy on December 19, 2018. Tags: AKA Categories: Celebrities Recent Posts Pages Zanda Zakuza – “I got abs, Minnie Dlamini envied them” Tamaryn Green – “My heart is happy South Africa” All of Lady Zamar’s music achievement Photos: Bollywood couple Kareena Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan on a vacation in Cape Town Kwaito star Mavusana found dead in a hotel room on his birthday AKA interacts with fans – “Do you think the negativity towards me is because I’m a coloured person?” Lasizwe has a local reality show on MTV – “I’m thrilled…” Photos: Sarah Langa bags her first international award Watch: DJ Maphorisa and Moonchild react to Beyonce’s post using their song Watch: Beyonce finally did the expected after SA’s Global Citizen Festival Proudly powered by :)

[paradoxicalca]

(OC) Frenchifying the Canadiens (An Alternate Reality)

(This is the squeakquel threequel to Moneyballing the Senators and Covertly Tanking the Wild)It's August 2019. Marc Bergevin and Trevor Timmins are sitting in the Montreal Canadiens' war room when the phone rings. It's Geoff Molson, the team president and co-owner.Hey guys, it's Geoff. I'm gonna cut a long story short - the province's Minister for Sports has apparently stumbled on some... compromising information about this organization. For legal reasons I'm not gonna get into it, but it implicates all of us in the front office. The good news is that he says he's not going to put it out there for the sake of the franchise and the city. The bad news is that he has one demand, and I don't think we'll be able to get out of it. He's a bit of a nationalist, you know? Very vive la Québec francophone and all that. He says the worst thing that ever happened to les Habs was when they started letting Ontarians and Americans on the team, and that he stopped watching when they made Saku Koivu captain. He told me he'll shred all the dirt he has on us if we make the Canadiens a 100% Québecois team by October. I know that puts you in a tough situation guys, but good luck guys!Bergevin and Timmins look at eachother in shock."Well at least this will save us a shit-ton on amateur scouting""This isn't funny Trevor, what the hell are we going to do? I guess I'll start sending out feelers and hopefully we'll be ready by opening night. If we rush this we'll lose every trade and look like imbéciles""No, Marc, we have to get all of this done now. Tonight. You think we'll lose these trades if we hurry? If McKenzie somehow gets wind of this and tweets it out we're gonna be icing a fucking QMJHL team this year. We need to do this all at once before anyone figures out what's going on.""Merde you're fucking right.""Think about it though Marc. If you brought a Cup to Montreal with a bunch of Anglos and Americans on the ice you'd be a hero, sure. But if you get les Canadiens une Coupe with all French guys they'll add your biceps to the fucking fleur de lis. Let's just do it and be légendes, frère.""Alright. Get me a list of every son of a bitch in this league with an accent aigu in their name, a six pack of Taureau Rouge, and 29 more phones."Six Hours Later​Bobby Margarita @TSNBobMcKenzieIt's probably nothing, but I'm hearing that the NHL trade line has about 12 trades pending.​Elliotte Friedman @FriedgeHNICHabs have signed Pominville (1.5M), Chartier (0.75M) and Bourque (0.7M) to 1 year contracts.​Bobby Margarita @TSNBobMcKenzieA lot of talk around the Habs right now. Things are about to get really silly.​Tampa Bay Lightning @TBLightningThe #Lightning have acquired LW Tomas Tatar, D Mike Rielly, G Charlie Lindgren, and a 2020 3rd round pick from the #Canadiens in exchange for RW Yanni Gourde, LW Cedric Paquette, and G Louis Domingue.​Columbus Blue Jackets @BlueJacketsNHLBLOCKBUSTER ALERT: #CBJ have acquired G Carey Price, C Jesperi Kotkaniemi, and D Jeff Petry in exchange for C Pierre-Luc Dubois, D David Savard, C Maxime Fortier, and a conditional 1st round draft pick.​Pittsburgh Penguins @penguinsTRADE ALERT: The Penguins have acquired defenceman Shea Weber and forward Max Domi from the Coyotes in exchange for Kris Letang, Jack Johnson, and Samuel Poulin.​Ottawa Senators @SenatorsNews Release: #Sens acquire defenceman Cale Fleury, forward Joel Armia from Montreal for Christian Wolanin and Anthony DuclairCommuniqué : Les #Sens acquièrent Cale Fleury et Joel Armia de Montréal pour Christian Wolanin et Anthony Duclair.​Colorado Avalanche @avalancheA big trade. #GoAvsGoColorado trades Sam Girard and Mark Barberio to Montreal for Victor Mete, Artturi Lehkonen, and 2018 2nd round pick Alexander Romanov​Vegas Golden Knights @GoldenKnightsTrading places! ⚔️Vegas acquires RW Brendan Gallagher from the Montreal Canadiens for LW Jonathan Marchessault and a conditional 2020 3rd.​New York Islanders @NYIslanders#Isles trade RFA rights to Anthony Beauvillier to MTL for C Ryan Poehling and C Nate Thompson.​Jim Matheson @NHLbyMattyStill blws my mind that Keith Gretzky hasn't been offered a GM job yet. Lots of respct around the league for his scouting in EDM. Wouldn't be surprised if Minneosta takes a long look at him​Chicago Blackhawks @NHLBlackhawksTRADE ALERT: Left Wing Paul Byron, Cayden Primeau, and Keith Kinkaid have been acquired from Montreal in exchange for Corey Crawford and Nicolas Beaudin.​Detroit Red Wings @DetroitRedWings#RedWings have acquired RW Cole Caufield and LD Brett Kulak from the Montreal Canadiens for C Joe Veleno and a 2020 4th round pick​Winnipeg Jets @NHLJets#NHLJets have acquired forward Jordan Weal and a second-round draft pick in the 2020 #NHLDraft from the Montreal Canadiens in exchange for forward Matthieu Perreault.​Arizona Coyotes @ArizonaCoyotesTRADE ALERT: #Coyotes have acquired Noah Juulsen from the Montreal Canadiens in exchange for Jason Demers.​Vancouver Canucks @CanucksNHLTRADE ALERT: #Canucks have acquired a 2021 5th round pick from MTL for D Alex Biega​Anaheim Ducks @AnaheimDucksTRADE: The #Ducks have acquired centre Nick Suzuki, defenceman Ben Chiarot, centre Nick Cousins and a 2020 2nd round pick from the @CanadiensMTL for C Benoit-Olivier Groulx and LW Maxime ComtoisBergevin and Timmins slump down in their chairs, surrounded by crumpled up pieces of paper and half-drunk half-Red Bull protein shakes, and look at the new roster they've assembled, scrawled on the white board in front of them.Jonathan Marchessault - Pierre-Luc Dubois - Jonathan Drouin Anthony Beauvillier - Philip Danault - Yanni Gourde Anthony Duclair - Mathieu Perreault - Jason Pominville Joe Veleno - Cedric Paquette - Maxime Comtois Gabriel Bourque Samuel Girard - Kris Letang Christian Wolanin - David Savard Alex Biega - Jason Demers Mark Barberio Corey Crawford Louis Domingue The Next MorningThe hockey world is in complete chaos. The Canadiens' front office pulled off all of these trades simultaneously, and not a single other GM realized what was going on. Sure they guessed that the Habs were targeting their French players (what else is new?) but they were as shocked as anyone when they started getting frantic texts as soon as they had submitted the deals to the league.Hockey media is a mess. TSN has interrupted their coverage of Canadian U20 Cricket regionals and dispatched the Bellicopter to retrieve Bobby Margarita from the Muskoka wilderness; analytics bloggers are frantically assembling heat maps and charts to make some sense of the madness; podcasters are recording 6-hour episodes.Bergevin and Timmins are asleep, and will be until the afternoon. They'll wake up to a copy of Le Devoir and the Montreal Gazette on the front porch of the Bell Centre with competing editorials:Montreal Gazette - August 11 2019"What the Hell did Bergevin Just Do?"MONTREAL, QC - NHL teams aren't put together in a day - it takes years of scouting, developing, trading, and signing to put together a team that can compete for the Stanley Cup. To succeed, managers have to be able to set aside their biases - for certain types of players, for action, and for nationality - and make rational, measured decisions.Apparently nobody told Marc Bergevin that.On Saturday night, Bergevin blew up a team that finished as close to a playoff spot as is humanly possible. Usually in hockey "blowing up a team" means trading a few core pieces; in this case it meant a rabid simultaneous onslaught of 13 trades replacing 90% of the roster and a large chunk of the prospect cupboard. And why? So that the insecurity of nationalist Francophones can be resurrected on the Bell Centre (excuse me, Centre Bell) ice, and the worst nostalgic tendencies of our society can play out below the retired number banners of Doug Harvey, Larry Robinson, and Bernie Geoffrion.Maybe this team will be a Cup contender, maybe they won't be. But the message that Marc Bergevin has sent to the thousands of children who watch the Montreal Canadiens (many of whose Weber or Price jerseys are now suddenly out of date) is one of exclusion and tribalism. And he, and Geoff Molson, and every element of our province responsible for this idiocy should be ashamed.Le Devoir - 11 Août 2019"Bergevin: le sauveur du hockey québécois"MONTRÉAL, QC - Avant jeudi soir, le mandat du directeur général des Canadiens, Marc Bergevin, était controversé. Pour chaque échange intelligente, il en avait un autre qui était horrible. Mais maintenant, il n’ya aucun doute: Marc Bergevin est un héros.Les Canadiens de Montréal participeront à une coupe Stanley ce printemps, et ce, avec une formation entièrement née et élevée au Québec pour la première fois en près de cent ans. Les enfants de la belle province seront inspirés, et le hockey québécois retrouvera enfin sa place sacrée au sommet. Une nouvelle génération de fierté française, de renouveau national et de domination du hockey est à portée de main. Et il n'y a aucun doute sur qui est responsable. Vive Bergevin!​How did it turn out in the end? Let's just say that the Fleurgevin was hanging in every classroom in the province by the summer.Hope you enjoyed, if you have any ideas for a future thing like this let me know! (OC) Frenchifying the Canadiens (An Alternate Reality) Source

[mrmichaelchadler]

Short Films in Focus: The 2019 Oscar-Nominated Short Films

Once again, Pixar, kids in peril and refugees populate the Oscar-nominated Short Film landscape. And once again, Shorts TV will be bringing you the opportunity to view all fifteen films before the big show on February 24 (either streaming or in theaters). 

This year’s batch feels mighty familiar with many of the usual kinds of selections, but there are some shorts within each category that nicely compliment one another. The documentary “Black Sheep” and the narrative “Skin” would work well together on the same thematic bill, as would the animated “Late Afternoon” and the live-action “Marguerite.” Nobody on the programming end plans that, of course. But many of the films here are worth being plucked from obscurity and discovered by a curious audience. 

"Detainment" / ShortsTV

Live-Action Shorts

“Detainment” - On one hand, under normal circumstances, I’d be surprised if this didn’t win the prize (simple, English-speaking films tend to), with its harrowing true story and irresistible thriller elements. On the other hand, why drudge up such an unpleasant event if there is nothing to say about it other than pointing out the age of the two boys who committed an unthinkable crime? "Detainment" has courted quite a bit of controversy from the real-life parents who were never consulted for the film, along with many other Britons who feel the film has no business existing in the first place. Nevertheless, “Detainment” is hard to shrug off, especially given the two strong performances by the young leads, Ely Solan and Leon Hughes, as two boys being questioned in the disappearance of a toddler. 

“Fauve” - Every year, it seems this category has to have at least one film with kids in peril. This year, we have four. The film follows two boys playing an innocent game in a salt mine until tragedy strikes. Unlike the watchable, but ham-fisted “Detainment,” “Fauve” has a subtler, more poetic approach to how tragedies occur between minors who have yet to grasp what nature can do and how unforgiving it can be. The performances here are equally strong and Jeremy Comte’s assured direction gives the viewer a true unsettling feeling at the end that might linger for some time. 

“Marguerite” - Another French-Canadian entry (like “Fauve”), this film tells a gentle tale of an aging woman’s relationship with her nurse and how it brings back pangs of regret. While it may not be a big attention-grabber from the start, Marianne Farley’s “Marguerite” unfolds beautifully while giving the viewer a true feeling of how time slowly passes for this woman and just how long she’ll have to live with the choices she made in life (or the choices made for her). The ending is undeniably moving, achieving an arc that works perfectly for the short film format. 

"Madre" / ShortsTV

“Madre” - This is technically another kids in peril film, but we never see the kid and the peril is left to our imaginations. A mother (Marta Mieto) receives a phone call from her six-year-old son who has been spending the weekend with his father in France--his father has disappeared and the boy is left with nothing but a cell phone with low battery life. This one-take wonder will keep viewers riveted and the believable interplay between Mieto and her mother (Blanca Apilánez), who is with her the whole time, adds to the tension. "Madre" is a mostly terrific little thriller that ends on a silly note with its unnecessarily flashy and distracting closing credits. 

“Skin” - The kids in peril in Guy Nattiv’s film are the sons whose parents have different ways of teaching their kids a lesson, after a scuffle between a gun-toting neo-Nazi (Jonathan Tucker) and an innocent black man (Ashley Thomas) brings about a revenge that most can only dream of. Nattiv does a magnificent job of playing up the fact that the future of gun-toting Nazis will carry on into the unforeseeable future as long as small-minded lessons keep getting passed down to their kids. Will the child take away the right lesson from this tragedy? Hope comes in the form of his more mild-tempered mother (Danielle Macdonald from “Patti Cake$”), but even then we can’t be sure. This is my favorite of the five nominees, with “Marguerite” being a close second.

"Animal Behaviour" / ShortsTV

Animated Shorts

“Animal Behaviour” - Alison Snowden and David Fine’s short about an animal-based group therapy session has cute moments, but is hardly worth being put in the Top 5 Best Animated Short Films of the Year list, as this category would indicate. Some films just get lucky, I guess. It’s harmless and the animation gets the job done, which is not much to say. The movie loses its potential for a young audience once the animals start talking about their sex lives, which could cost it a win, since the award always goes to the most kid-friendly film.

“Bao” - Pixar’s entry [pictured at the top top], which played before "Incredibles 2," has grown on me with repeat viewings. Domee Shi’s film no doubt left many viewers thinking, “Well, that was nice, but ... huh?” “Bao” is better left unexplained. Enjoy it for what it is, a journey through the ups and downs of parenthood, no matter what the child turns out to be, culminating in an emotional climax that bears the Pixar trademark, one that is rarely duplicated. 

“Late Afternoon” - Louise Bagnall’s lovely journey through a woman’s past snuck up on me. The seemingly unremarkable animation gives way to big, colorful, dreamlike sequences through childhood and adulthood memories experienced by Emily, now elderly and about to make another change in her life. This would have been nice to see on a big screen instead of the screener I had. 

"One Small Step" / ShortsTV

“One Small Step” - Now here’s a film that does belong on the list of nominees, and is my personal favorite. There is a recurring theme this year of animated shorts that sum up a life’s worth of experiences in 10 minutes or less, but this one follows a woman who dreams of being an astronaut and her father who is always there for her. Maybe it takes a few easy routes to get there, but the emotional climax landed in a big way for me. I loved it.

“Weekends” - With the exception of “Animal Behaviour,” this year’s animated crop is rich with visual storytelling, and Trevor Jimenez’s film is a prime example of the art form’s true capabilities. A boy goes back and forth from his mother’s simple, penny-pinching household to his father’s bachelor pad where he has all the latest video games and gadgets. The fun eventually gives way to emptiness, but not with Jimenez’s film, which gets richer as it progresses. Along with having a moving and confounding conclusion, the film makes the best use of Dire Straits' hit song, “Money For Nothing.” 

"Lifeboat" / ShortsTV

Documentary Shorts

“Lifeboat” - Much like last year’s short-doc winner “The White Helmets,” Sky Fitzgerald’s beautifully constructed documentary focuses on a non-profit organization that aids in providing a rescue for refugees. Here, the rescue takes place at sea as the German-based group Sea-Watch provides aid to Libyan citizens fleeing war, famine and torture in hopes of a better life. The central figure in the rescue, a good-hearted Englishman named Jon Castle, laments that not all will turn out well for these people once they reach the shore, but rescuing them is necessary for all humanity, for one day, they could be us and that all citizens “are our fellows.” Fitzgerald’s film is not so much about the urgency of the rescue, so much as it is a reminder of the different faces and expressions of the people being rescued and how each of these faces tell a different story. We have seen images of hundreds of refugees crammed onto a raft before. “Lifeboat” makes a point of humanizing each and every one of them. (Click here to watch "Lifeboat") 

“Black Sheep” - Some may scoff at just how much of this film is just reenactment, but they would be foolish to let such technicalities spoil the richness of the story being told here. Subject Cornelius Walker tells the viewer a tale of how he survived moving to an English town where racism ran rampant and how he became the victim of it, how he survived it and how he came to terms with the violent streak that ran in him as much as the people he feared. Director Ed Perkins shoots the reenactments with a shaky-cam aesthetic that feels like puzzle pieces of a memory that has a hard time coming together, which fits with a moment in which Perkins asks Walker if he has regrets, a question that causes Walker to go speechless for the first time during the story. This is a complex and beautiful film about how to see an enemy in a different light by having the survival instinct to step into their shoes and come to terms with your own demons. (Click here to watch "Black Sheep")

"A Night at the Garden" / ShortsTV

“A Night At the Garden” - Filmmaker Marshall Curry seems to have broken precedent by making an Oscar-nominated doc-short that only runs just under eight minutes. It consists of found footage of a pro-white America rally that took place at Madison Square Garden in 1939. There, a speaker got up and drew rounds of applause as he deemed to media and the Jewish people as the enemy. A protester was violently dealt with and ushered out of the place, to the delight of all who attended. Sound familiar? That is basically the conceit of this piece, though Curry is smart not to draw direct parallels by spelling anything out. Its release in 2018 says enough. (Click here to watch "A Night at the Garden")

“End Game” - It’s hard not to be deeply affected by Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman’s documentary about cancer patients and their families facing hard choices about how and where to spend a loved-one’s final days. The medical practitioners’ sole focus is to help the patients deal with the human element of dying, how to cope with the inevitable and make peace with it. “Hospice” is a dirty word for many and the film depicts one family determined to have their matriarch die in their home and not in a hospital. The lifeforce (so to speak) is a woman who has ovarian cancer, but has a deeply optimistic outlook on the hand she has been dealt. Epstein and Friedman’s film proves that a great film about death can also be a great film about life and “End Game” is that film. (Available on Netflix)

“Period. End of Sentence.” - This documentary examines the lack of education men and women receive (especially women) in a small town in India where the mention of menstruation draws blank stares from many citizens who have no concept of what it means. One woman wants to become a police officer “to avoid marriage,” so she teams up with a machinist who manufactures a superior tampon and then enlists the help of many women in her village to go door-to-door to try and sell them. Rayka Zehtabchi’s film is energetic, sometimes funny and very necessary in its cause to bring more education and awareness to parts of the world that still look at women’s biology with a medieval eye. This will be a likely favorite with voters, and for good reason. (Available on Netflix)

from All Content http://bit.ly/2UMty50

[placetobenation]

Hey-hey! It’s finally time to post up another PTB Power Rankings for the 2018 MLB Season. So, dust off those cleats, pull your bats out of storage, and find a glove that still fits because we are BACK and ready to, uh, well, rank 30 teams in opinionated order of performance.

Shit, well, it’s good to get back to it anyway.

Yes, Miggy, the first PTB MLB Power Rankings of the year are FINALLY out!

Editor’s note: Truly sorry about my lack of sports/baseball stuff, Nation. Grad school, unemployment, re-employment, and a lot of busy-ness at work have a way of sidetracking things. And once out of a habit, well, you know…

All records and stats are current as of Saturday, June 9, 2018.

1. New York Yankees (42-18) — The Bronx Bombers have won nine of their last 10, they’re playing .700 ball, and are the only team in MLB that has yet to lose 20 games. Ridiculous.

2. Boston Red Sox (44-21) — Personally, I find it quite boring when these two superpowers lead MLB. However, with the BoSox ripping up the league with 5.22 runs scored per game (second to the Yanks at 5.54), 600 team hits, 144 doubles, and 95 home runs, the offense is in *ahem* full swing. Solid support for Chris Sale (2.83 ERA), Rick Porcello (3.59), and David Price (4.00) and what has been a pretty good bullpen.

3. Houston Astros (41-25) — The defending champs are allowing the fewest runs in MLB (3.02 per game) while offensive core stalwarts Jose Altuve (142 OPS+), Carlos Correa (130 OPS+), Alex Bregman (136 OPS+), and George Springer 145 OPS+). Oh, and Justin Verlander (262 ERA+) and Gerrit Cole (176 OPS+) are posting best-ever seasons.

4. Seattle Mariners (40-24) — Listen, there are only four teams with 40+ wins to this point in the season (Milwaukee, see below, is at 39 as of this writing). The AL has all four them. The Mariners are probably the least likely to maintain, but, hey, those 40 are in the bank.

5. Milwaukee Brewers (39-25) — Raise your hand if you figured the Brewers posting the NL’s best record this far into the season. The offense has been alright (4.39 runs a game) as has the pitching overall (3.72 runs allowed), but that bullpen has been great (2.54 ERA). Josh Hader, in particular, is out-of-this-world. Getting ace Jimmy Nelson back soon could put the Brew Crew over the top.

6. Chicago Cubs (37-24) — Just half a game behind the Brewers, with six everyday batters posting OPS+ numbers over 100 (average). The bullpen features a whole bunch of sub-3 ERAs and Jon Lester (7-2, 2.22) has been great atop the rotation. While all those arms could regress, the solid showing at the plate from the Cubbies should keep them in the midst of October talk.

7. Washington Nationals (36-26) — The injuries have mounted for the Nats, but Max Scherzer has been healthy and continues his march towards Cooperstown. Teen phenom Juan Soto has been awesome in his 19-game introduction (.328/.435/.552) with a very promising 11-10 BB-to-K ratio.

8. Atlanta Braves (37-27) — The Bravos seem to have arrived a year ahead of schedule, but this team looks real good for a dynastic run, with Freddie Freeman (28), Ozzie Albies (21), Dansby Swanson (24), Ronald Acuna (20), and top hurlers Mike Foltynewicz (26) and Sean Newcomb (25) all well ahead of the curve.

9. Los Angeles Angels (37-28) — Mike Trout. We need to appreciate him more. Here’s his current line: .306/.439/.646, 1.085 OPS, 198 OPS+, 52 runs, 70 hits, 15 doubles, 19 homers, 13 steals (no caught stealings), 53-53 K-BB rate. And the dude is still only 26. Insane. Now, how the Halos hang around with Shohei Ohtani’s elbow woes remains in doubt, but the dominance of the Millville Meteor is of no question.

10. St. Louis Cardinals (35-27) — Only Jose Martinez (145 OPS+) and Tommy Pham (118) are really raking for the Redbirds, but strong starts from Miles Mikolas (2.27 ERA), Michael Wacha (2.47), and Carlos Martinez (1.83) are keeping the Cards alive in the Central and in the thick of things for a postseason spot.

This guy is really, really, really, amazingly good at baseball.

11. Philadelphia Phillies (32-30) — A week or so ago, these guys would rate much better, but the Phils have got 1-7 in June. The talent is there, but the next big test for rookie manager Gabe Kapler will be righting the ship.

12. Arizona Diamondbacks (34-29) — Remember back in April when Arizona was the toast of baseball with a 28-8 record? Yeah, well, going 14-21 since has certainly put that in the distant past. Of note, though, Paul Goldschmidt seems to waking up (13-for-20 with four homers over his last four games). It’s a thoroughly mediocre division to this point, so the winner of the NL West may well wind up being the team that takes best advantage of when its best players produce.

13. Cleveland Indians (33-29) — The lowest-rated division leaders here, the Tribe has played well at home (20-11) but been the pits away (13-18). While they’re still pretty odds-on to win the Central, that vaunted bullpen (worst in MLB with a 5.82 ERA) has a chance to torpedo anything beyond that. Of note, Cleveland could be the first team since 1920 to lead MLB in bullpen ERA one year (2.89 in 2017) and then finish dead-last the next.

14, 15, 16 (tie). Colorado Rockies, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants (32-32) — The Rockies’ regression was expected from last year, while the Dodgers have been hit by more injuries than a clown car at a demolition derby, and the Giants have managed to hang around via a great home record (19-11). With a little luck and health, any of these three could challenge for the division crown, or a wildcard berth.

17. Detroit Tigers (31-35) — They are not a good team, but also not as bad as once thought. While they should still look to trade guys like Shane Greene, Michael Fulmer, and a few others, this is a very fun team to watch when they are playing well. Ron Gardenhire deserves a lot of credit here. He won’t get many (any?) votes, but this is what a Manager of the Year looks like, folks.

18. Oakland Athletics (33-32) — Trevor Cahill. Blake Treinen. Matt Chapman. Matt Olson. Mark Canha. Raise your hand if you knew these were five members of the 2018 Oakland A’s and not the roster of some non-descript mid-90s boy band. Personally, I prefer Matty C. over Matt O. And that Trevor. He’s so good to his mother.

19. Minnesota Twins (27-34) — Injuries, starting with Ervin Santana in February, have not stopped dogging this team. It’d be a real shame if we don’t get to appreciate Byron Buxton fully because of his health. However, Eddie Rosario (.318/.355/.566) with 14 home runs has been a real breakout star for these erstwhile preseason darlings.

20. Pittsburgh Pirates (31-33) — The Pirates have a talent core of players. They have a gorgeous ballpark. They have a devoted fanbase. But they also have a shitty ownership group that refuses to give said fans what they want — a winner. The hard part should be developing your supporting cast, not paying for the top-tier talent.

21. Toronto Blue Jays (29-35) — Oh, well. That window sure closed in a hurry. A selloff could bring some much-needed youth ot the Jays, as well as adding intrigue to the wild-card races around the league.

22. San Diego Padres (30-36) — I can’t believe I’ve got them this high, either. Clearly, Eric Hosmer’s will-to-win-veteran-presence even affects mid-season rankings. In truth, the Friars have a great bullpen, which, if they wish to sell off, could bring in some depth to an already-well-liked farm system.

Hey Eddie! Yeah, you. Sorry about your team. But hey, great season so far, mate!

23. Tampa Bay Rays (29-34) — The “opener” trend seems like grasping at straws to be innovative, like Kevin Cash wants Michael Lewis to write a book about him or something. That said, despite a horrid start to the year, and a veritable Who’s That? roster, these guys are not all that bad. They are not good either. They are the bologna and cheese on white bread of the American League. Mustard optional.

24. New York Mets (27-34) — Well, they did the right thing by dumping C— Harvey, but this team is still just Mets-ing all over the place. Losers of eight straight, with whispers they might deal deGrom or Thor. I’m sure if those trades happen, this organization will find a way to Mets those up too.

25. Texas Rangers (27-40) — It’s nice to see National Treasure Bartolo Colon pitching well. He’s old and fat, so we should adore him. I guess. I’m actually a bit lost on his precise appeal.

26. Cincinnati Reds (22-43) — The mere fact that C— Harvey shares a team with Joey “The Last Angry Canadian” Votto, and Tucker “What A Great Last Name” Barnhart, boils my blood and causes me night sweats. Also, the pitching stinks.

27. Chicago White Sox (21-41) — Lucas Giolito lead the Pale Hose with four wins, but has a 7.08 ERA. Meanwhile, Jose Abreu (139 OPS+, team-high 24 doubles) is an island unto himself.

28. Kansas City Royals (22-43) — The Royals are giving up 5.52 runs per game. The Yankees have scored 5.54 runs per game. That’s right, folks! When the Royals are in town, it’s just like watching the Yankees!

29. Baltimore Orioles (19-44) — It’s pretty clear Buck Showalter doesn’t care anymore, does it? While we all know Manny Machado is great at baseball (166 OPS+) and will be traded, just gander at the awfulness of Chris Davis’s season (.152/.232/.232, four home runs, a 30 OPS+). It’s soooooooo gross!

30. Miami Marlins (23-41)  — No, the Marlins are not last because of my spite over how they have been a joke forever, constantly screw over fans, and make a mockery of competition. No, it’s not because their current and former owners are emblematic of the excessive awfulness of capitalism . No, it’s not because they plead “process” over “results” whenever someone rightly gives them a second look. It’s because they suck. Last in runs scored per game (3.48) and tied for fifth-worst in runs allowed (5.14) should do.

And with that, we are back in the pink with our Power Rankings. I hope to bring you guys more MLB goodness throughout the rest of the year when time allows. Until then, it’s batter up and play ball!

[ratpresenting]

1-100

Unusual asks! 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify all the way, I have like, 40 playlists and I use it every day2. Is your room messy or clean?So messy, but I clean it up once it really bugs me3. What color are your eyes?Green-ish?4. Do you like your name? why?Not really, it's a really common name and i don't really feel it fits me, but I'm fine with it. My middle name is Elizabeth and I've always wanted to go by Eli but its too far gone now5. What is your relationship status? I'll stick with complicated6. Describe your personality in 3 words or lessFriendly, obnoxious, anxious7. What color hair do you have?Dirty blond8. What kind of car do you drive? color?I don't have a car, but if I'm saving up for one and its going to be a motorcycle, not a car. 📣(I hate everything about cars!!!)9. Where do you shop?Mostly thrift stores and consignment stores10. How would you describe your style?Like, 80s mom meets 90s grunge meets modern goth witch11. Favorite social media accountProbably twitter at this point12. What size bed do you have? Queen 👑13. Any siblings?A half-sister, shes a little older than me though, and she lives across the country, but i love her and miss her!14. If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Probably Eastern Canada because my family is super Canadian and i just love it there15. Favorite snapchat filter? Idk any really, I guess that one that makes ur eyes and mouth really big because my friend uses it alot and its so funny!16. Favorite makeup brand(s)Mostly Tarte and Urban Decay; Tarte because I'm allergic to most other shit and Urban Decay because I love the Naked palettes and I will suffer for them17. How many times a week do you shower?I wash my hair every few days but I shower like once a week in the winter and every couple days in the summer18. Favorite tv show?Brooklyn 99 or Game of Thrones19. Shoe size?8-ish20. How tall are you?5'9" if I stand up straight21. Sandals or sneakers? Depends on where I'm going, I like my feet to breathe, but boots and sneakers can be so cool and really put together and outfit22. Do you go to the gym? I have a gym membership that I sometimes use, but not having a vehicle right now is imposing on that23. Describe your dream dateA date that keeps going. Starting with food or drinks or whatever, and having such a good time that you keep it going and you go somewhere else, and another place. Enjoying each others' company so much that you don't want the night to end, even if that means staying up until the sun comes up. It doesn't matter if we're just sitting in a park talking and smoking cigarettes, its that neverending want that matters to me. 24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Cash, $12. I mostly use my debit card so i don't really carry cash25. What color socks are you wearing? I am not wearing socks right now because I am in bed but usually black26. How many pillows do you sleep with?1 under my head but usually at least 3 in my bed, well as all the shit thats on the left half of my bed27. Do you have a job? what do you do? Yes I work at a restaurant called Tokyo Joe's, I'm the unofficial assistant manager, and I am most often making sushi or taking out food and such.28. How many friends do you have? Including work friends I have 5, not including work I have 3. 29. Whats the worst thing you have ever done? Broke up a couple. Its whole thing.30. Whats your favorite candle scent? This candle I got from Ross, its tobacco leaf and Rose, but I'm more of an incense gal31. 3 favorite boy namesCharlie, Adrian, and Danny32. 3 favorite girl namesEli, Andi, and Dani (These and the last 3 are interchangable because I like genderless names)33. Favorite actor? Idk any off the top of my head, mostly because I kind of hate men, I really like Chadwick Boseman's acting, and I really like Leonardo DiCaprio as a person34. Favorite actress? This is really hard because I love lots of ladies, but acting wise I like Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman I guess? Idk I've seen like 7 movies. I love my gal Kristen Stewart though35. Who is your celebrity crush?I have several, more well known being the aforementioned kstew, and some lesser known names such as Lynn Gunn, Paris Jackson, and Hannah Hart36. Favorite movie? This is so hard, I guess the lotr trilogy because I can always watch that if I want to. I'm really more of a tv show kinda gal37. Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to when I was younger, I stopped when my depression took over pretty much my whole life, but I've been slowly getting back into it. I used to read a lot of teen fiction and my favorite was always Harry Potter, but now my favorite book is probably Through the Looking Glass, just because I loved it as a kid and its a nice nostalgia read, as well as a unique and creative book.38. Money or brains? Always brains.39. Do you have a nickname? what is it? Not really but I wish I did!40. How many times have you been to the hospital?I myself have had to go to the hospital only once that I can remember, ( I crashed my motorcycle) but other than that a few times for visiting family/ friends41. Top 10 favorite songsIn no particular order-Anyone Else, Pvris-Somebody Else, The 1975-In A Week, Hozier-Cherry Wine, Hozier-Pork Soda, Glass Animals-Interlude 1, Alt-J-Agnes, Glass Animals-If I Believe You, The 1975-Obsidian, Trevor Hall-From The Dining Table, Harry Styles42. Do you take any medications daily? I'm supposed to take allergy medicine but I never do so no43. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)Kind of on the dry side, I'm a lucky shit though because I barely take care of it and its pretty nice and soft44. What is your biggest fear? Everyone hating me45. How many kids do you want? A couple, adopted only46. Whats your go to hair style?I have pretty short hair thats curly. The sides and back are short and the top is curly, parted on the left,so it hangs just above my right eye47. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) Smallish condo with my ma!48. Who is your role model? Hannah Hart!49. What was the last compliment you received?My coworker said I have a very elegant air to me, especially when I tell stories, because I always cross my legs and i talk very extravagantly with my hands50. What was the last text you sent?My coworker Kaylee❤ dropped me off and I let her know I was in my house because you can't see my house from the street and she worries51. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?I don't think I ever believed in him?52. What is your dream car? I'm gonna replace car with motorcycle and its an Zero SR ❤53. Opinion on smoking?Unfortunately, I smoke. I love cigarettes! I smoke Newport 100s. I bought a vape to help me smoke less and it definitely helps!54. Do you go to college? Ya, I'm very slowly getting my associates at MCC55. What is your dream job? I have no idea, but something I enjoy doing, and hopefully something that makes changes for the better56. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I truly just want to live in the middle of the woods and be a woodland witch 57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No, I have too expensive of shampoo for that and thats a stupid waste of plastic.58. Do you have freckles? Not like the classic type, but I have some random ones on my body.59. Do you smile for pictures?Almost always60. How many pictures do you have on your phone? Over 200061. Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes, I've been camping several times62. Do you still watch cartoons? Not really63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?I don't eat chicken nuggets because they are 1. Chicken and 2. Garbage64. Favorite dipping sauce? Balsamic vinegar or Sriracha, depending on what it is. 65. What do you wear to bed? I sleep nakey 66. Have you ever won a spelling bee?Maybe? I don't know67. What are your hobbies?Sometimes reading, sometimes writing, alot of staring at my wall in the dark while listening to music68. Can you draw? Not well, but thats not gonna stop me!69. Do you play an instrument?Nope70. What was the last concert you saw? I haven't been to a concert in a really long time but i think the 1975? 71. Tea or coffee?TeaStarbucks or Dunkin Donuts?72. Dunkin has better coffee but Starbucks has better literally everything else, and the Starbucks next to my work is literally my sanctuary and all the gals that work there are such sweethearts I love them all so much even though they probably hate me.73. Do you want to get married?Someday far from now, and really only for adoption purposes74. What is your crush’s first and last initial?Denied75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Idk it depends if their last name is coer than mine76. What color looks best on you? Probably blue but im partial to black77. Do you miss anyone right now? Yes78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?Closed79. Do you believe in ghosts?Yes!80. What is your biggest pet peeve? Rudeness just to be rude81. last person you calledMy coworker Kaylee❤82. Favorite ice cream flavor? I'm more of a shaved ice or sorbet gal, but i love the Ben and Jerry's line of almond and coconut milk ice creams!83. Regular oreos or golden oreos? Lemon!84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I guess chocolate? Rainbow sprinkles are literally flavorless sugar85. What shirt are you wearing? I was wearing an old '92 Hard Rock Cafe shirt from Hawaii that I snatched from my ma and turned into a crop too86. What is your phone background?My home screen is a golden sunset cloud photo I took a while back and my lockscreen is a picture i took in the woods of a tree with mushrooms growing on it87. Are you outgoing or shy?I am usually shy but I work customer service so if I have to be I can be very outgoing, its so draining though88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Yes! Please do!89. Do you like your neighbors? I mean, I don't know them but 2 of the 3 smoke weed so they're probably pretty cool!90. Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Look it gets washed when it gets washed let's not discuss it91. Have you ever been high? I spent ages 17-19 almost exclusively high. I don't really remember a lot of it92. Have you ever been drunk? Yes, several times. I am a lovey drunk and I love to kiss when I'm drunk. Or cry. Just depends who I'm around93. Last thing you ate? Diced cucumbers with lemon and salt and some white rice with peanut sauce and onions94. Favorite lyrics right now"Where does your body go when I leave you alone?Would your heart know if I met you in a brand new set of bones?Cause you may see me in different bodiesHiding below with the same soul"Same Soul, Pvris95. Summer or winter? Winter, but only because I live in Arizona so winter means like, 70 degrees96. Day or night? I like being out and about at night but there's no where to go because everything is closed97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Only dark. Like, at least 80% dark98. Favorite month? I like October, the weather is nice and it has a fun atmosphere, plus Halloween!99. What is your zodiac sign?My Sun sign is Capricorn, but I have an Aquarius Stellium and I kind of identify with that more100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Technically my cat this morning. I don't do alot of public crying. Lots of private crying though! I'm a big baby of emotions

[bestmovies0]

Kings of loser comedy: how Flight of the Conchords took off

New Zealands fourth most well known folk-parody act are on a sold-out arena tour. Is there a shrewdness behind the duos laidback shtick?

Few comics ever play London’s O2 Arena and fewer still oversee three nights in a row. Those who do tend to have some things in common: a relatable observational style, limited creative desire and ruthless commercial savvy. None of which applies to Flight of the Conchords, perhaps the unlikeliest act ever to reach those airless elevations of the comic stratosphere.

I insured Flight of the Conchords last week, warming up for their forthcoming realms tour with a run at the 140 -seat Soho theatre. Watching their suite of kooky sungs about medieval romance, piano-playing seagulls and spoonful thieves, laughing at their low-key converse and minutely detailed interplay, the believed to be their imminent transfer to arena stages was supremely incongruous. Not least to the Conchords themselves.” We’ll continue that in for the O2 ,” they’d remark, after this or that improvised quip or ramshackle moment of fun.

If you first learnt Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement, as I did, in a dingy cellar on the Edinburgh fringe 15 years ago, you are able struggle to wrap your head around the scale of their new tour. But if you factor in a Disney film, writing an Oscar-winning song for The Muppets, a sleeper make HBO sitcom, and the fact that this musical-comedy duo is one of the funniest and most talented acts to come along in two decades- well, an explanation have started to take shape.

It’s certainly not down to any dead-eyed careerism. In my 20 years of interviewing comics, few showed as shambling and un-starry as McKenzie and Clement in 2003– the year they were nominated for Edinburgh’s Perrier award. The previous year, theirs had been the festival’s breakout present, due largely to word-of-mouth enthusiasm spread by fellow comics.

Watch the chant Hiphopopotamus vs Rhymenoceros, from episode three of Flight of the Conchords.

Their shtick was artless banter spliced with improbable comic ballads , notable for their pernickety lyrics and eclectic musicianship. Zoological rap combat Hiphopopotamus Vs Rhymenoceros was an early favourite (” They call me the Hiphopopotamus/ My lyrics are bottomless” and” I’m not a large water-dwelling mammal/ Where did you get that absurd hypothesis ?”). The Humans Are Dead, with its” binary solo” and robo-vocal report of the cataclysm, was another, while their Space Oddity spoof Bowie’s in Space was achingly near the mark.

With merely a couple of acoustic guitars and a digital glockenspiel, they were maestros of every pop music style imaginable, although they concealed their talent with gags.” You can tell when we’ve learned a new chord ,” they told me,” because we’ll use it in our next three anthems .” On stage, they played losers who thought they were wins. Off stage, they were wins who pretended to be losers. They’d been invited to Hollywood to pitch a project, they told me- but” you needed a clearly defined suggestion of what you wanted to do, and we didn’t have any suggestion at all “. So they were sent packing.

I left that interview unsure whether I’d gratified the “real” Clement and McKenzie or an extension of the gormless act. From the off, they excelled at clambering true and fiction- as per the blissful bit of onstage talk in which they guess when the other is in character (” You’re in … now you’re out … now you’re in …”) It helped that they took deadpan to whole new tiers of blankness.

” It’s so dry and so Kiwi ,” says their compatriot and fellow comic Rose Matafeo, who is not alone in tracing much of the Conchords’ distinctiveness back to their national character.” The constant self-deprecation, the playing it straight, these are so common in New Zealand. We’re at the bottom of the world, so isolated. We’re like what the fuck is happen if “youve left” someone alone in a chamber for a day .”

Jarred Christmas, another New Zealand comic, is surprised how far this took them.” I never envisioned there’d be an international espouse of that. I’d never seen that happen, comedy-wise .” Christmas co-starred in the Conchords’ eponymous 2005 Radio 2 sitcom, as did Jimmy Carr, Daniel Kitson and Rob Brydon( the Conchords have always surrounded themselves with fast-rising flair ).” What struck me ,” Christmas says,” is that no matter how laidback they find themselves, they’ve always believed they’re good enough. You’ll notice that, on the radio demonstrate , not one of their chants was played in full. So they retained the rights, rather than those defaulting to the BBC. Clearly, they had their visions set on something bigger .”

No strife, only placid acceptance … the HBO series Flight of the Conchords. Photograph: BBC/ Paul Schiraldi/ HBO

Something bigger duly came in 2007, with the launch of the duo’s HBO sitcom, again eponymously named. They played themselves as hapless immigrants in New York, inducing zero impression as a band whose director( played by Rhys Darby) moonlights as a culture attache at the New Zealand consulate. The series feigned to taunt their homeland’s eccentricity and boringness. But, really, it celebrated those qualities. Eccentricity and boringness were the show’s touchstones, while its USP was the radical flatness of McKenzie and Clement’s performances. They took the faux-real stylings of The Office et al and ratcheted up the humdrum, but blended it with wildly incongruous flares of carol in which Bret and Jemaine’s fantasy lives paraded in all the regions of the screen.

The show ran for two series, featuring soon-to-be-illustrious co-stars( Aziz Ansari, Kristen Wiig) and winning Emmy nominations. Clement and McKenzie likewise won a 2008 Grammy for best comedy album. The series was never more than a cult hitting, in the UK at least, but its significance outperformed its ratings. It opened the world up to indie Kiwi culture and alerted American Tv to overseas flair. Where McKenzie and Clement led, the likes of Trevor Noah, John Oliver and James Corden have followed. Likewise, in its depiction of failure, in its disdain for TV conventions( it was part-improvised ), and in its uniquely hip brand of musical comedy, the present proved more influential than its modest impact at the time might suggest.

Conventionally, failing in comedy has been something to rail against: it’s the fight that builds it funny. In Flight of the Conchords, there is no battle, merely placid adoption.” It demonstrated you didn’t have to be an alpha male ,” says Christmas- and in so doing, it winged the flag for a new generation stimulating more arty and intimate, less obvious and aggressive slapstick. But it cross-fertilised that strain with the gentle surrealism of Spaced and The Mighty Boosh, to show that you could be dorky losers and rock deities, showed bachelors and lotharios.

Key to this were the hymns, two per episode, that underscore the flights of fancy that offset( or should that be overtake ?) Bret and Jemaine’s feckless real lives. The songs alter current realities, moving the plot along in unreal routes, as if singing yourself out of loser-dom genuinely were an option. Narratively, it stimulated tenuous sense, but you were enjoying the hymns too much to care.

” One of the hardest things in musical comedy is to write a number that people want to hear again ,” says Phil Nichol, of 1990 s Canadian musical comedy act Corky and the Juice Pigs.” Usually, once you’ve heard the gags at the end of each stanza, you know all you need to know. But both Jemaine and Bret are astounding musicians. They write stuff that stimulates you think,’ Wow, why didn’t I write that ?’ Their ballads are exceptionally replayable .” Many of them match or even overshadow the trails they pastiche- such as the Emmy-nominated Carol Brown( based on Paul Simon’s 50 Lane to Leave Your Lover ), or the Peter Sarstedt take-off Rambling Through the Avenues of Time.

The villainous crustacean Tamatoa voiced by Jemaine Clement in Disney’s Moana. Photograph: Allstar/ Walt Disney Productions

It’s certainly a rare accomplishment to stimulate musical comedy cool . A rarer feat still is to alumnu from writing funny sungs to winning best chant Oscars, which McKenzie did in 2012 with Man or Muppet from that year’s Muppets movie. Clement’s interim job has been even more eye-catching, with voiceover roles as Fleshlumpeater in Steven Spielberg’s The BFG, as the villainous crustacean Tamatoa in Disney’s Moana, and as intergalactic criminal Boris” the Animal” in Men in Black III.

” People who discovered them at the movies have then gone back and watched Flight of the Conchords ,” says Christmas.” And the sitcom did what The Office did: it stopped at its peak, arguably before its peak, so people have remained perpetually desperate for more .”

And now they’re get it, as McKenzie and Clement touch down for the UK leg of their world tour.” They’ve just been so consistently good over their entire job ,” says Matafeo, who credits the life she’s living today as a New Zealand comic, based in the UK and working internationally, to their example.” Everyone has their own special relationship with a stage of the Conchords’ job. Some people learnt them early, at Edinburgh. Some people- like me- recollect downloading bootlegs of their hymns from the internet. And some people came to them after the sitcom finished. It’s all been so good that, whenever you encounter them, you fall in love with them .”

Flight of the Conchords are at Portsmouth Guildhall from 5-7 March. Then touring the UK until 3 April. Phil Nichol’s tour Your Wrong starts in September . li>

Read more: https :// www.theguardian.com/ stage/ 2018/ disfigured/ 04/ flight-of-the-conchords-comedy-tour

from https://bestmovies.fun/2018/03/06/kings-of-loser-comedy-how-flight-of-the-conchords-took-off/

[writingsubmissions]

Fights to Make: UFC Stockholm

Alexander Gustafsson (beat Glover Teixeira) vs. Daniel Cormier/Jon Jones (Jul. 29) winner: Well, so much for Jimi Manuwa. This Gustafsson/Teixeira fight seemed like a necessary evil between two veterans with nothing better to do, but Gustafsson went ahead and had one of the best performances of his career, using his range to just destroy Teixeira from a distance, including vicious uppercut after vicious uppercut, before putting Teixeira away in the fifth. I still think Gustafsson loses no matter which guy he faces, but the Swede is obviously in the catbird seat as the top contender for the light heavyweight title at the moment.

Glover Teixeira (lost to Alexander Gustafsson) vs. Corey Anderson: Meanwhile, this loss leaves Teixeira in a weird spot - he’s probably still the fourth-best light heavyweight in the world behind Cormier, Jones, and Gustafsson, and fairly clearly at that, but matchmaking going forward is going to be difficult. Light heavyweight is stagnant, so your options are either veterans who Teixeira has already faced and probably beaten, or just having Teixeira knock off one of the few interesting, but raw, prospects at 205. I don’t like it, but I guess I’ll put Teixeira against Anderson, who’s probably the best of that latter bunch - I think Teixeira beats him, but if Anderson gets a big win, it’d get him back on track.

Volkan Oezdemir (beat Misha Cirkunov) vs. Ilir Latifi: Well, that’ll stop the jokes. Oezdemir’s been a punchline, given his top five ranking based only off an undeserving win over a flat Ovince St. Preux, but he went ahead and knocked out the best prospect at light heavyweight in under half a minute, so, well, shows what everyone knows. Assuming Gustafsson gets the next title shot, Oezdemir against either Jimi Manuwa or Shogun Rua is, amazingly, probably the correct #1 contender’s fight to make, unless you pair Manuwa and Rua against each other, as I’ve already done. So with those fights out of the picture, a keep-busy (but still loseable) bout against Ilir Latifi is a decent enough stop-gap option, since Latifi is available with Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira dropping out of their scheduled fight.

Misha Cirkunov (lost to Volkan Oezdemir) vs. Patrick Cummins/Gian Villante (Jul. 22) loser: MMA is a stupid sport sometimes. This looked like an easy win for Cirkunov to cement himself as the next big contender in a light heavyweight division that needs one, and from there Cirkunov figured to have a big fight come the fall in either Edmonton (given his status as a Toronto native) or Poland (given his being born in Latvia, which, for UFC, is close enough). Instead, Cirkunov got aggressive going into the clinch and got knocked out in under half a minute. Whoops. Either Cummins or Villante, depending on who loses in Long Island this July, is a solid name opponent that Cirkunov can probably beat (though not too easily), so that’s a decent way to go for a rebound win to get Cirkunov back into contention ASAP.

Peter Sobotta (beat Ben Saunders) vs. Emil Meek: Sobotta had one of the more impressive performances on the show compared to expectations, as pretty much all of his gains in the striking department carried over here. I didn’t really think Sobotta would have much for someone with the physical advantages of Saunders, but instead it was the complete opposite, a career-best performance for a suddenly under-the-radar veteran. UFC runs Sobotta’s native Poland in October, so he should a decently big fight there - I think I’ll go with Norway’s Emil Meek, who was slated to be on this card before pulling out with an injury. Meek has the talent and charisma to be a European star for UFC, but he’s fairly untested, and honestly, looking at the landscape, a win by Sobotta would suddenly make him one of UFC’s bigger deals in Europe as well.

Pedro Munhoz (beat Damian Stasiak) vs. Joe Soto: Munhoz beat Stasiak rather handily, but the fight really did more to show off Munhoz’s weaknesses than anything else. Munhoz, a grappler by trade, has improved his striking, but has struggled with quick strikers who can attack from a distance, and Stasiak did a lot of that here, and was able to escape Munhoz’s signature guillotine a few times. Overall, Munhoz is still an interesting prospect, even if guys like Cody Garbrandt and Thomas Almeida have passed him by a bit - I’d put Munhoz against Joe Soto next, since Soto’s a modest step up in competition, and Munhoz would probably just lose against anyone better at the moment.

Nordine Taleb (beat Oliver Enkamp) vs. Darren Till (beat Jessin Ayari): Both these guys looked solid. Taleb had another solid, gatekeeper-like performance against a surprisingly game Enkamp - after some early trouble, Taleb’s fundamentals and strategy won out over Enkamp’s athleticism and carried him to a decision. Meanwhile, Till returned from over a year on the shelf and pretty much picked Ayari apart with a precise Muay Thai game. I like the idea of Taleb as a test to see if Till can start moving up the ladder fairly quickly, since I’m high on Till as a prospect - Till knows what he’s doing and has a fairly technical game, and you can say the same about Taleb, so it’d be a really interesting fight to see if Taleb’s experience or Till’s athleticism wins out.

Ben Saunders (lost to Peter Sobotta) vs. Matt Brown: This loss really said more about how good Sobotta suddenly is rather than any sort of slight against Saunders, who still has a place as a fun action fighter. I’m almost loathe to make this fight since I find both guys so entertaining, and the loser could very well be cut, but I like the idea of Saunders against Matt Brown, who’s on a bit of a losing streak, as a fun-as-hell slice of veteran violence.

Trevor Smith (beat Chris Camozzi) vs. Rashad Evans: Smith used his grinding wrestling game to get a decision win over Camozzi, and that’s about all we need to say about that fight. There’s no obvious prospect for Smith to act as gatekeeper for, and I’d like Smith’s fights to at least have some sort of existential meaning, so let’s use Smith as a test to see if Rashad Evans has something, anything left in the tank to get a win.

Jack Hermansson (beat Alex Nicholson) vs. Rafael Natal/Alessio Di Chirico (Jul. 22) winner: Well, that was a pleasant surprise, as Hermansson fought against type and just took Nicholson down and beat the piss out of him for the stoppage. Hermansson’s a fun mid-tier fighter, and I’d like to see him work his way up the ladder - the winner of the Natal/Di Chirico fight on Long Island would do the trick. I fully expect that winner to be Natal, who’s a well-regarded vet, but hell, if it’s Italy’s Di Chirico, that’d make for a solid enough fight on one of these European cards.

Joaquim Silva (beat Reza Madadi) vs. Marc Diakiese/Drakkar Klose (Jul. 7) winner: Silva’s “Netto BJJ” nickname remains a hilarious misnomer - he’s a power striker, pure and simple - but the Brazilian prospect looked good here. Faced with a tough vet who could take him down, Silva rebounded from a rough first round and then just sort of teed off on Madadi at will to get what was still a close decision. The idea of Silva against Marc Diakiese in a battle of hard-hitting, athletic prospects is pretty tantalizing, but even if Drakkar Klose upsets Diakiese in Vegas this July, Silva/Klose would be a fun bout in a similar mold.

Omari Akhmedov (beat Abdul Razak Alhassan) vs. Bojan Velickovic (beat Nico Musoke): Both guys got wins to stay afloat on the UFC roster, and that’s about all you can say. Akhmedov pretty much exposed Alhassan as a one-dimensional prospect - that dimension is power, and Akhmedov was tough enough to eat Alhassan’s punches and get takedowns at will, which was enough to win a decision. Velickovic’s fight with Musoke was much closer, but not particularly impressive until Velickovic sent Musoke skating with a punch in the latter stages of the fight and then got the finish. It probably wouldn’t be exciting, but a fight between the two isn’t a bad idea, since either guy could use some momentum, and given that both’s big advantage if their physicality, it’d be interesting to see how they match up.

Abdul Razak Alhassan (lost to Omari Akhmedov) vs. Alex Morono: I’m not sure how to feel about Alhassan’s loss here. Alhassan completely abandoned his typical strategy of throwing knockout bombs and figuring out the rest later, which was, well, good news and bad news. The good news is that he never really gassed and still showed some ridiculous power that probably would’ve knocked out a lot of opponents, but the bad news is that it exposed his takedown defense as absolutely awful, and there’s still a ton of holes in Alhassan’s overall game. There’s a lot here to work with, but if Alhassan can’t get past a guy like Akhmedov, I really don’t know if the Ghanaian can put together enough wins to stick on the roster while he figures things out. So it’s a matter of finding a low-level guy who can’t take Alhassan down - the closest I can think of is Morono, a Texan who’s down to brawl. He may still be well-rounded enough to beat Alhassan, but it’ll at least be fun.

Jessin Ayari (lost to Darren Till) vs. Warlley Alves: Ayari didn’t look bad here, but I just remain uninspired by the German’s overall game, even if he’s still only 24 years old. Alves being matched up against Kiichi Kunimoto before getting hurt suggests that UFC wants to get the Brazilian prospect an easy win, and Ayari is probably that - so let’s go with that.

Damian Stasiak (lost to Pedro Munhoz) vs. Aiemann Zahabi: Stasiak impressed in the loss and should be a solid bantamweight gatekeeper - this was apparently the last fight on his contract, so it’ll be interesting to see if UFC resigns him, particularly with a card in Stasiak’s native Poland coming up. If a deal gets done, I like Stasiak as a next test for Canadian prospect Aiemann Zahabi, who’s still a bit of a question mark after a narrow win over Reginaldo Vieira.

Damir Hadzovic (beat Marcin Held) vs. Dong Hyun Kim/Thibault Gouti (Jun. 10) winner: Well, that worked out. Hadzovic’s a talented enough striker, but he got a tough fight in his UFC debut and looked well on his way to a loss here, getting dominated by Marcin Held...until Held tried to roll into a leglock and instead ate a knee upside the head, giving Hadzovic a KO win within seconds of the start of the third round. Hadzovic can keep hanging on as a low-tier action fighter - the winner of the Kim/Gouti bout in Auckland would be a fun scrap that could open some show abroad.

Nico Musoke (lost to Bojan Velickovic) vs. Keita Nakamura: I wouldn’t be shocked if this was it for Musoke - he returned from over two years off here, and while he looked fine before getting knocked out by Velickovic, their fight was fairly boring until then. If Musoke gets another shot, a last gasp fight against Japanese vet Nakamura - probably on the Japan card in September - is as good an idea as any.

Chris Camozzi (lost to Trevor Smith) vs. Alex Nicholson (lost to Jack Hermansson): This is probably it in the UFC for both guys - Camozzi never developed any takedown defense, and Nicholson’s raw athleticism only got him so far. A pink slip derby between the two could also work, since neither guy would have to worry about a takedown and could just swing away at the other.

Reza Madadi (lost to Joaquim Silva) vs. Kajan Johnson: This was assumed to be Madadi’s retirement fight, but the Swedish vet backed off that a bit in the days leading up to this fight. If Madadi comes back, I could see him fighting Johnson, who’s been fairly vocal about UFC’s need for a union - I could see UFC throwing Johnson a tough opponent because of that, and while Madadi isn’t a big name or anything, he’s tenacious and could probably shut down Johnson’s game, so I could see UFC going that route.

Oliver Enkamp (lost to Nordine Taleb) vs. Danny Roberts/Bobby Nash (Jul. 16) loser: Enkamp was a good pickup by UFC, but Taleb was way too much, too soon, even in Enkamp did acquit himself quite well in the loss. Someone like Roberts or Nash, low-to-mid-level action prospects, would be more Enkamp’s speed, so put the Swede against the loser of those two’s bout in Scotland.

Marcin Held (lost to Damir Hadzovic) vs. Michael McBride: Well, that’s probably 0-3 and out for Held in the UFC, as one wonders where he goes down on the list of UFC’s most disappointing signings. It’s a shame, too, since his UFC run was a reminder that the margins between a win and a loss can be razor-thin - his loss to Diego Sanchez was marred by a bad gameplan, his loss to Joe Lauzon was a robbery at the hands of the judges, and this loss to Hadzovic was just bad luck, as Held was dominating the fight before diving right into a knee. On the off chance Held gets a fourth shot, McBride’s as much of a layup as you can give Held, since he’s nothing but a grappler, a category in which Held should outclass him.

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 7 - “"I Love Lies and Deceit" - Isaac”

LOGAN

IF I DONT WIN IMMUNITY IM GOING HOME KNOW THAT THATS ALL HELP PLEASE I CANT GO HOME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

OWEN

Well well well!!! Ryan B went home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Surprise surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~) I threw a vote on Scott just in case Ryan, who did absolutely no campaigning whatsoever, had an idol or something from the labyr*nth. But he didn't and he's dead so! Fun!!!!!!!!! Anyways... I want to win individual immunity kind of, although I think I have a good case to get Jay out of here. Still, I don't know what Duncan will think of me if Jay DOES get shipped off, and it might be better for me if Scott goes because I've never talked to Scott and there's no relationship there? With Trevor and I on the same tribe there's always the worry someone will want to split us up but I don't see how that benefits anyone really because we'll just be a target at merge. We're like an extra fat meat shield :) use us :))))))))) anyways, none of my alliance wants to win immunity because the challenge is an unnecessarily difficult version. It worries me that we all feel cocky enough to...not try lmao afsdkhdfsjfds which makes me want to try but at the same time??? I don't want to do that it's finals week and it's too much. I just want to merge so I can fuck everyone up

LOGAN

also everyone in this game? likes me as a person? but i think ERRYONE knows im a threat and im in the bottom so i need to win. that is all. love rob. ill die for rob. 

JD

Yeah, this challenge is going to be bad... I'm much sorry

-

Jesus fuck. That sucked... I hope i never have to do anything like that again. 4 hours of my life i wont be getting back *sigh* but i saved that cute little rock from the underworld, yes i did.... I think I'll name him... He- hey! My rock just does back to the underworld... Well there goes that. *Le shrug* (sleepy Jessy is sleepy)

SCOTT

I am shocked I survived the vote. But I am confident I will most likely be voted out at the next tribal, and since the challenge is basically computer slavery. I am screwed. WELP *Prays for the merge* 

LOGAN

woooo, my death is happening!

-

IN THE GAME I MEAN IN THE GAME I PROMISEHTBDFGJNSDKMZ

TREVOR

Sam chose me to go to the labyrinth. A good ally. Maybe I will take him to the end. 

-

We're voting for Jay. I kind of insisted it without discussing it which is bad but I wasn't in the mood. 

It's either gonna tie with Scott or be 4-3-1 as I'm gonna try and get Scott to vote for Owen if he comes online. If it does tie we will vote Jay on the revote so it's fine. I have Lydia's 20% challenge advantage because I'm not allowed to give it back to her. Oh well. I'm sure we're swapping or merging after this.

SAM

https://youtu.be/ZNx-K60v4BU

ROB

Literally the only person who I did not to win. Fuck I think I couldve done it. Lazy ass. I'm definitely in danger once more. 

SAM

MORE CONFESSIONS yeah i'm pretty nervous about tribal tonight. i'm afraid that one of the newbies is going to get voted out, so i might have to appeal to duncan that the newbies are on his side. or that i can get them to be on his side because i think they might be down to vote for him. they're concerned with mending fences and they believe that duncan might not help them but LIKE LOOK DUNCAN WILL PLAY WITH ME AT MERGE AND MATT SUMMERS ISN'T CALLED MATT FUCKING SUMMERS FOR NOT REASON so i'll have to check in on everyone later today and make sure their heads are in the right spot. that's all. at least it isn't me.

SCOTT

This song goes to my tribe if they vote me out (Verse) Wrap it up, I said I don't have time I guess you're outta luck, but I'm doin' fine Give it up, you don't wanna act like you care And I don't want a house full of her hair (Pre-Chorus) (And you said) Literally, babe Are ya gonna give up so easily? I thought I meant more I thought you was stronger... (And you said) Literally, babe I've been stressing about us all day, well Guess you bit off more than you can chew I've got li-te-ra-lly nothing to say to you (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Interlude) Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! (Verse 2) Listen up, you don't get a goodbye You don't get another shot to make me everything I'm not I'm a girl on fire, I'm a girl who dreams And you're a boy who needs to stay the hell away from me (Pre-Chorus) (And you said) Literally, babe Are ya gonna give up so easily? I thought I meant more I thought you was stronger... (And you said) Literally, babe I've been stressing about us all day, well Guess you bit off more than you can chew I've got li-te-ra-lly nothing to say to you (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Bridge) And it hit me like a ton of bricks Like a ton of your ugly hats When I was broken, when I was lonely When I was reachin' out for your hand That the sun could go down My shadow and taunts, there's no-one around, I swear We're as lonely as with you there (He's not gonna get that...) (Whatever!) (Chorus) You wanna play me till I kick you out You wanna call me when you're feeling down Beggin' on your knees, BITCH PLEASE! And when I finally let you bring me close You wanna promise me you'll never go Then you wanna leave, BITCH PLEASE! (Interlude) Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA! Don't text me, you're pathetic, BITCH PLEASE! This is the only way you'll hear from me, HA!

MATTEW

So...double tribal. Yikes! I feel like I'm in a pretty good spot at this point. I have an alliance with people that I don't think have any reason to flip, but the only troubling thing is the fact that there could potentially be a boatload of rewards and items out there just waiting to get played. Hopefully my alliance is the only one who has gained access to Room 5, but there's always that uncertainty about the Labyrinth that's super scary. We could easily try to play it safe and blindside someone again, but now's not the time for paranoia. I've been thinking a lot about numbers come merge and I'm starting to realize that Trevor is probably at the center of the dynamics of the other tribe. He has Owen and Lydia that he's really close with, who each have people that can branch off to form a majority. I want to trust Ryan when merge comes, but we've been apart for so long at this point that I can't be certain where he his loyalties lie until we can meet back up and talk game again. My point is, there's a lot of uncertainties that could lead to me being in the minority come merge so my focus for the next few rounds is to keep as many people happy with me as possible. I mended bridges with Logan a bit and we've had some pretty solid game talks, so hopefully they're being honest about being willing to let Rob go and they're not just trying to screw me over. I'm going to have to start talking with Duncan again, because there's a lot of uncertainty and distrust between us and if we're going to be able to form a majority at merge, we're going to have to patch things up and look forward. Still, preparing to get #snatched at tribal council tonight.

JD

What kind of evil was that! Escape from hell???? Na man, i think I'll just stay there next time... I mean i saved the rock though! That rock... That will help me do absolutely nothing. By God. 

Okay seriously though, i have control issues. I get that, i know that and I'll embrace my faults. I also think it's one of the reasons why I'm so worried about this tribal. I've had class all day and i haven't been able to really talk to people the way that i want to. I can't get a read on the other three to know if they are really going to stay with us or if they are just planing something with some items. The only thing that I'm not worried about is the idol, maybe that means I'm putting too much trust in Sam but i did save his ass last time we were in tribal. And yes I'm taking all the credit for it because even with Ali's extra vote, my tribe wanted to vote for Robby and i believe that i changed their minds. I saved Sam. Sam best not be fucking with me. Right so last night me and Sam talked in length about what he wanted to do in this game. He told me that Duncan gave him the idol. Something about after you use it you have to give it to someone else. So if he's telling me the truth, and i really think he is, he has the idol. He also wanted to know if i had  any connections with anyone on the other side .... I mean yes! The other half of my final four is over there... I didn't tell him THAT though. I told him that when Trevor came over we talked but mostly about being old... Which was not a lie. That was the first thing we talked about, and being Canadian. Me and Ali liked him enough and checked with Lydia about bring him in with us and i hope that they really have been able to work out their differences Because here is my set up. Final 2 - me and Ali (we can't take a vet with us, that's just asking to lose) Final 4 - me, Ali, Lydia, Trevor (idk what our name is anymore but i really liked when we gave ourselves seasons so I'm going with 4 seasons right now) Final 5 - 4 seasons and Sam because i still think Sam owes me and i plan to collect on that at some point. Final 8 - Owen, Matt, Isaac. And if the 8 of us can get together straight out of the merge, if that happens after tribal, then there would be 12 players in the game. We have more then majority and we get ride of a couple people before shit hurts the fan I'm sure. At 10 it might get bloody cus everyone is going to have their own groups that they want to go to the end with. Right so that all came from mine and Sam's conversation was that he wants to work with Trevor and Owen, because they are a power couple and he thinks they would be targeted before any of use. Which would be truth if Trevor wasn't in my main alliance. All this could go to shit tonight. Any four of us could get voted out or Lydia and Trevor might have decided to leave me and Ali behind. We'll see. About to vote and I'm such a control freak that I'm trying to figure out how to be more involved. Like lying to Logan and telling them to vote for Matt or Sam to see if we can trust her. But... There so much bad that could happen. God I'm going home tonight -_-' 

ROB

If you're not going to stay loyal to me then you can't expect me to stay loyal to you. I'm doing whatever it takes to stay alive in this game, even if it means turning my back on the people I was close to. JD*sigh* i thought this tribal was set. I hate scrambling ready 

ALI

This tribal is awful :( Rob is the general consensus, and I'm being especially nice for two reasons. A) Because I feel really bad B) Because I don't want him to play an idol and for his one vote to vote me out. I wanted to work with him, but that core Olympus 3 was just too tight grr. I wish we could vote off Duncan, he is kinda shifty and I'm still put off by him lying to me... Next time... Also, whoever invented that challenge can CATCH THESE HANDS. It was awful. Also, Scott is probably going tonight, which'll make me one of two newbies left and the only Brit. If Rob goes also, I think I become the youngest person, the only Brit and one of two newbies.... I'm going into extinction.

ISAAC

I love lies and deceit. All of a sudden I'm shook about Trevor keeping me out of the loop™ So me, myself, and I and my petty ass are going to be ugly™