#welcome to just because it's over doesn't mean we can stop living in fear of the cast

[lillybearrie]

"He'll kill you"

"Maybe that’s for the best"

JAIL IMMEDIATELY

BOTH OF YOU

HOW DARE

MY HEARTTTTT

[curseofdelos]

mentally I'm still here:

Nico insisting that neither of them are going to be sacrificed/left behind to satisfy the prophecy is a perfect encapsulation of his growth over the series and it makes me SO soft to think about

Nico as a character - particularly in BoO - doesn't have a lot of self-preservation. He doesn't really care what happens to him as long as the mission gets done. We see this most explicitly after he almost fades into nothingness after the Bryce Lawrence incident:

And again when he considers shadow travelling into Octavian's tent to assassinate him:

(Nico himself notes here that it was unlikely he would survive another jump. If Will hadn't stopped him, he probably would have died.)

In both cases, Nico was willing to risk death for the sake of ending the war. He puts very little value on his own life, and repeatedly argues to Reyna, Hedge, and Will that the possibility of saving camp (a place he never felt welcome at, might I add) is worth the risk of losing his life.

Even before Nico went on the quest with Reyna and Hedge, the others were concerned about his safety. Percy tried to remind him how unpredictable his shadow travelling could be, and Hazel notes that he has been acting strangely lately:

It's not quite clear what Hazel is worried about here, but my interpretation of this scene is that she's concerned that Nico isn't thinking - or perhaps, isn't caring - about what effect the constant shadow travelling will have on his wellbeing. Between Tartarus, the jar, and the Cupid incident, Nico's mental state is at its worst at this point in the series, and I think Hazel is worried he'll do something reckless - something he can't come back from.

And so in TSATS, when Nico is told that he's going to have to leave something of equal value behind in order to save Bob, the old him would have had zero issue sacrificing himself if that's what it took to ensure Will and Bob's survival. This version of Nico, who's been going to therapy w/ Mr D and opening up more and built a little support system for himself, can't fathom it.

Nico in BoO did not have a future. He had fully convinced himself that nobody cared about him or would miss him if he was gone - not Percy who fought for him at every turn in PJO, not his sister Hazel, not his new friends Jason and Reyna. He was ready to leave both camps behind because he couldn't see himself ever being happy there. He couldn't see himself being happy at all.

But now, in TSATS, he has a boyfriend that he loves, he has friends that he loves, and he has a community in Camp Half-Blood. He has experienced so much loss that losing someone else is his worst fear. The old Nico would have considered sacrificing himself to protect Will and Bob. At the very least, he would have kept that option in his back pocket as a 'just in case'; he wouldn't have sworn on the Styx that he wouldn't stay behind.

This Nico, however, is doing much better - not perfect, but better. He loves Will, and he wants a life with him, and he's not willing to give that up for anything. Nico has hope for the future, and he's clinging to that hope with everything he has. He sees a light at the end of the tunnel, and he wants to reach it. He's not willing to sacrifice himself because it means losing that future.

Gone is the cynical pessimistic Nico who assumes the worst because the worst is all he thinks he can have. Here is the Nico who has had a taste of happiness and is willing to fight to keep it. He's not going to sacrifice himself because he wants to live. He's not just fighting for Will here; he's fighting for himself too.

And seeing him go from "if it kills me, it kills me" to "it's not going to be me" makes me so ASDFGHJKL

[ghouljams]

Currently laughing at the thought of Nikto dealing with the Shining AU, but all it is is the ghosts trying to convince him to kill his partner and Nikto completely ignoring them because he already lives with the voices in his head saying much crazier shit and is entirely unfazed.

Ghosts: Kill your wife! Do it!!

Nikto, thinking he's suddenly developed another voice in his head:

Omg shining au Nikto who is having the most normal time is actually so fucking funny.

The Overlook tries, dear God does it try, but the man's already lost his mind. The ghosts can't shatter it any further. He doesn't even bat an eye when they try to talk to him. He just keeps going about his day, ignoring their attempts to lure him to the bar, and spending evenings with his family.

It's a welcome break, caretaker. Nikto didn't expect to find a job so perfect. No people for miles, no loud noises, no flashing lights or gunshots, just you and his boy and the snow. It's been wonderful. The noise has quieted down, the nightmares are slow, and you're here.

"Moya milaya?" Nikto's voice feels rough as he claws at the empty space beside him. He sits up in his bed, and stares through the kitchen to the open door of his son's room. It's only as the bile is rising in his through that he hears the clatter of cart wheels, the sing-song sound of his son asking questions as quickly as you can answer them. You peak around the archway into the room with a smile and shoo the boy out of the way to show off the stack of pancakes you've both created.

"Papa!" The boy rushes to clambor onto the bed, tugging at the quilt to aid his climb until Nikto takes pity on the little thing and hauls him up against his side. "We made breakfast." His son tells him in soft Russian.

"We see." Nikto hums. He turns this feeling over in his chest, feels the stings that bind it, unfamiliar and yet so deeply known. Worries flow as estuaries of care. He settles a hand on the boy's head. "Are you still seeing the little girls?" He asks.

The boys brows draw together, his lips pout as he hangs his head under Nikto's heavy hand. He gives a short nod and Nikto feels his pulling at his heart. He sees the pain on your face, an expression of concern you try so hard to hide. There isn't anything to be done about it but mamage it. Nikto knows that all too well.

"We will investigate." He assures his son.

His own voices have gotten more aggressive since the move up here. He'd almost think they'd gotten worse if this didn't happen periodically. They get loud before shrinking back into their grumbling. He thought it was from Zakhaev, but perhaps it was genetic.

"They're not mean," the boy tells him quietly, "you said they were only bad if they were mean."

Nikto stiffens. "We did say that." He agrees. This boy... so much gentler than he ever had the chance to be. That's your doing. Your loving hands that hold the boy's face and tell him things will be alright. Nikto has only ever wiped tears with an awkwardness that felt alien to his bones. Somehow it's never stopped the way his son hugs his leg, jumps to grab his hand, or kisses the side of his mask the same as you do.

"Papa only wants to keep you safe baby," you coo at your son, scooping him into your arms and collapsing back onto the bed, onto Nikto, again, "he won't hurt the little girls."

Nikto wraps his arms around you and the boy, watches the way his son puffs up in outrage. It's almost funny.

"Papa wouldn't hurt them!" The boy tells you, almost chastising. You blink at the child in surprise. Nikto joins your staring.

Even you know he is a dangerous man, he'd thought the child might at least fear- and yet-

Well, he's never had someone defend him so vehemently before.

[hoshigray]

So here's the scenario: Toji is your hot dilf apartment neighbor. You moved in next door to him, and you two hit it off as good neighbors ought to be. You're already in a relationship, but that "unfortunately" leads to a rocky end. But have no fear because Toji is here!

A/n: Just a lil' smthn I have to write out for a fic I'm about to write and not post bc I'm hella busy this week;;;w;;; But anyways, here we go, and I hope you enjoy! This was a lil rushed so sorry for typos or incorrect grammar!!

Cw: soft dom! Toji x fem! reader - it gets cute the first half but smutty the next, so minors DNI - makeout session - daddy kink - pet names (baby, good girl, mama/ma, sweetheart, sweetie, princess) - praise - missionary position - his dick touches your cervix - mention of violence and blood on Toji's end.

Wc: 1.7k

Dilf! Neighbor Toji...

...who rolls his eyes when he realizes someone will live next door to his unit. You first meet him on the day you move, happily introducing yourself to the tall man. Once he saw you, Toji was captivated by your kind tone and inviting atmosphere.

...who slowly but surely gets to know you as the days go on. You share moments of your life, and he shares some of his. You find out about his children, Tsumiki and Megumi, who you propose to babysit if he ever needs it, which is considered. Toji is told about your boyfriend whom you've been seeing for a long while. He pulls back from this information, but that doesn't mean he can't look at you when he pleases.

...whose children are the sweetest around you. Tsumiki enjoys playing and being around you, while her younger brother, Megumi, practically follows your every move like a baby duck. The more you spend time with them, the more you play a role in their life, and Toji can't help and think what if you were in their lives.

...who briefly meets your boyfriend and immediately catches a bad vibe from him. When he doesn't call or text you back after literal days go by, when he doesn't give you a ride to work even though you'd do so for him, even Toji's kids avoid him when he's around.

Oh, but the worse case of all was when Toji caught that little devil bringing another woman inside your apartment.

He wanted to do nothing but screw that man's face down, painting the hall with his blood. But he knows you'd be horrified, or worse, faint at the petrifying scene. So now, he stays quiet and waits for the perfect time.

...who loves the beautiful sound of your angry voice through the walls, with your door bursting open and your boyfriend's feet scampering down the stairs. Toji opens his door to see you breathing heavily, tears leaking on your face that's hot with anger and shame.

It hurts him to see you so broken, so he brings you inside for a cup of tea. It's up to you whether to talk about the issue; he knew you only needed company.

...who notices you hang out with him and his family without having to invite you over. Rather than going to your own apartment, you spend more time in his, playing games with his kids and making lunch for them or watching over the place while he's off doing hitmen business (which you don't know about yet).

He's not complaining at all, though. He welcomes you and would rather you be by his side than some other bastard who'd break your heart again.

...who enjoys it when it's just you two. The two of you are watching a movie together at Toji's, and the kids are at a sleepover.

You're lying next to him, your head resting on his shoulder with his hand stationed on yours. The television had your attention for quite some time until you felt someone's eyes looming into you. As you turn to see Toji, his gaze captures your eyes, and a smirk is thrown your way.

"What are you smiling about?" You raise a brow at him and chuckle.

A brow is raised in return. "Ya know you're very pretty, right?"

You bashfully look away from him. "Oh, stop it," you mumble as you can feel your face get a little hot. Toji snickers, the rise and fall of his chest causes your stomach to do flips.

"C'mon, don't be like that." He grips your shoulder to bring you closer, and his free hand gently pulls your face back to him. "I mean it, sweetheart. You're so fuckin' beautiful. You don't know what you do to me."

Your breathing goes slower, and your eyes can't seem to leave his green orbs. "What do I do to you?" Your voice drops down into a whisper.

There are no words. The two of you stare at one another as the movie fills the silence.

Toji's eyes don't leave yours, gaze so sharp as if you aren't allowed to either. The uncomfortable lack of response was gnawing you alive, and all you could do was hope for something to end this.

And then something does happen. Toji moves his face close enough for your nose to lightly brush his. Your body went rigid.

His chuckles were too low for your brain to function in this situation. "Nervous, huh? Close your eyes, baby. I'll take care of you."

You blink. Is this really happening right now?

Hesitation is present, yet your eyelids curtain your eyes. Toji grins harder in satisfaction and fulfills your silent request as his lips land on your anticipating plump ones.

Jerking a little, you reciprocate and kiss him back, your hands placed on his chest for some support. He brings one hand down to your back while the other holds the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as his tongue governs over yours.

The kiss is broken, in addition to the shaky breaths you inhale to steady yourself. Toji peers at you through a haze, drinking in your soft expression and the cute whimpers.

He grins at you. "So beautiful fr' me, sweetie, so fuckin' beautiful." He kisses you again, and the sound you make when he bites your lip has him wanting more. "Damn..." Toji grabs the TV remote to mute the television and cups your face with his big hands. " C'mere, mama," he says, his lips taking control with lustful haste.

You yelp into his mouth when you lose your balance, and Toji takes the initiative to lay you on the couch. Comfortable with the new position, your hands can roam around his back that hides under the black turtleneck, and your legs hold onto his waist as he rocks into your throbbing core.

Toji is absolutely relishing this moment. All this time, he could only watch and respect your prior relationship. But the more you smiled at him, played and cared for his children, wished him luck on his missions, and even visited his late wife's grave to pay respects, his resistance was hanging by a thread bound to snap.

And now that he has you in his grasp, mewling and squirming under him and softly gasping out his name in ecstasy, Toji would be even more idiotic than your ex if he let such a darling like you whisk away after all you've done for him.

It took a few moments for the makeout session to end, the two of you gasping for air instantly. You look at Toji, only to be met with the most breathtaking picture of your life.

The light from the TV highlights a side of his face, with his lips a little swollen and red from all the kissing that transpired. Strands of his slick black hair gravitate downwards away from his forehead. His emerald eyes are hooded softly, but the intense gaze isn't hindered as the feeling of hunger is portrayed through them.

You chew the bottom of your lip in anxiousness, and Toji laughs breathlessly.

"See?" He caresses your cheek. "Told you I'd take care of you, princess."

...who can hear the vibration of your phone ringing on the bedroom floor, with the caller ID titled your ex's name. But it doesn't matter to Toji. No, sir. Because at this moment in time is when you deserve his full attention as you're crying and panting heavily under his bow, your figure pressed into the bed as he drives his cock deep inside of you.

Salty tears on your face are wiped away by his calloused fingers. "Hnnngh, shit, shit, shit," curses fly out through gritted teeth as he slows his pace down. "Haaaah, damn, baby. You're grippin' me so hard, I ain't goin' nowhere."

He has you under him in missionary, but it wasn't the first position of the night. You're in your third round, and your body is aching. Your lips are swollen and plump, your legs twitch around his sweaty body, and your abused vulva is now a slick-covered mess extending to your inner thighs. The base of his cock has formed a creamy ring, evidence of the connection between your sexes, along with the sounds of skin slapping against each other.

"Ahhhh, haaaah, Daddy, please—Mmmph!!" You feel the tip of his length brush your cervix, you clamp into him harder, and Toji hisses at your inner grasp around him.

His sultry voice is weighed with exhaustion, but his tone still affects you. "Fuck, ma, I'm gonna— Aishhhh, oh fuck," his groans fill your ears, and a shiver is sent down your spine. "Where do you want it, sweetie?"

"I-I'll take the pill! Ahhaaa, please, Daddy, inside, inside!" Your words are slurred, but you choke them out for him to hear your demands.

"Heh, of course, for being such a good girl fr' me, mama." Toji's thrusts get erratically faster and harsher, your poor cervix being abused by the merciless intrusion of his dick.

Your eyes roll upwards as you let yourself go. You spasm around his girth and wait for him to finish. Toji hammers into you a few more cruel thrusts and then exhales out of heavy groan, eyebrows scrunched together as he releases himself into you.

Once you two come down from your high, he slowly moves off you and pulls his cock out. The cold feeling of cum and slick mixed together dripping out of your puffy cunt has you gasping.

Toji presses his forehead against yours and praises you for being such a good girl. You let out a worn-out chuckle and kissed his nose. The two of you lay together for a bit, harnessing the sense of bliss and peace as your bodies sink into the mattress when sleep succumbs to you both.

...who looks forward to you moving into his unit permanently, as well as Tsumiki and Megumi, counting the days for you to always be beside them. You fit the role of a family member by bringing them together. Toji realizes this and enjoys the thought of you being with his family, especially when the worst comes to worst. And even then, he'd lay down his life for your and his family's sake.

When the time comes, maybe another little being can join this happy union you've created, and Toji will be fully prepared.

[contrivedchaos]

So I have been thinking too much about the idea of Carmilla getting Sera pregnant. So once Sera figures out she panics and stops seeing Carmilla. So when Emily is born and heaven finds out and kicks her out its been like 8 months since Carmilla saw her last and now she shows up at her door holding a new born saying it's Carmilla's. Once Carmilla gets over that shock she drags them in and is rushing to find her girls old baby stuff as she is demanding answers like why Sera didn't tell her and how it happened. Which is Sera paniced and didn't know what to do and she doesn't know. I don't know if she would say it or just think it but her thoughts towards Sera are "You're an idiot but you're my idiot." She does eventually finds and sets up a crib and has to go get some things like diapers on short notice she tells Sera to stay put and get some rest since they aren't going to sleep well for a while. Once she gets over the shock of everything she decides she is fine with it she loves kids and Emily while a surprise is welcome and this means that well she isn't the angels secret mistress anymore she doesn't have to hide their relationship wait for months to meet up or fear that she'll be left behind but they can just be together she knows Sera and heaven enough that she thinks that Sera might find having a child out of wedlock would make Sera uncomfortable so she probably starts planning a proposal to make her feel better. When Lucifer learns he doesn't believe it at first but when he learns it is laughing that he couldn't believe Sera of all angels would fall and for this reason. He does let Charlie and Emily have playdates.

If humans on Earth can invent a way for two cis women to biologically conceive, I'm sure two fallen angels in Heaven/Hell stumbled upon that secret eons ago. Or maybe it's an SPOP thing where they can *poof* have a magic pregnancy (i.e., Catradora and Finn). Or maybe they're not cis....Hmmm. Either way, we have the technology/magic/plot-specific reason to advance the story!

Sera would for certain be freaked out, and desperately trying to get to the only safe place she knows, being Carmilla's place. Heaven probably just dumped her in some random part of the Pride ring, and she's never had to navigate to Carmilla's by foot before; she's always just warped. She's just frantically searching for Carmilla or some sign of her company. Zestial probably finds her, because he's got eyes and spiders everywhere. She fits a similar description to the person that Carmilla told him she was sneaking off to see.

He stops her and asks where she's going. Sera is terrified and doesn't trust him, but literally has no one else to turn to, so she asks if he knows where Carmilla lives. When he sees Sera holding Emily, he immediately knows something is up and takes her there. Carmilla is understandably in shock for a good while after they arrive. She hadn't heard from Sera for so many months, and then she just shows up at her door holding a BABY. Color her surprised.

I like the idea of Carmilla keeping Odette and Clara's baby things. Like she'd logically have no reason to; not many other people besides Lucifer and Lilith are having kids. She must have held on to them for sentimental reasons, or because she instinctively knew she'd need them again...

You know Luci is surprised at first, but of course he's supportive. He could have told them this might happen, though, if two full-blooded angels who are together aren't careful! But no one ever bothers to ask him (joking). He's happy for them, and ecstatic to have a little angel playmate around for Charlie!

[pancakes-bookclub]

So, in the spirit of starting a new blog for writing book reviews and all that, let's go with my favourite monster romance series!

18+, as most of my books, so MDNI

Orc Sworn, by Finley Fenn.

It starts with The Lady and the Orc, and it progresses from there

They're all available on Kindle Unlimited, as will be most of my books here, since it's my main source of books.

It's my opinion and views on this series overall, and I will make reviews on each book independently afterwards.

Minor spoilers ahead.

Story: overall, 8/10. Finn knows what she's writing, and there's a clear rise as the books progress.

World building: 10/10. It's an amazing and well developed world, with deep lore and mythology.

Characters: 9/10. They're real. They're deep. They're actually relatable.

Spice: 5/🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

My attempt to sum up the first book:

The world is divided in men and orcs, with the orcs living in Orc Mountain and always at war with the humans. The humans, live in fear. Of their crops being sacked, their towns raided, and their women taken.

For a woman, there's nothing worse than an orc raid, as it would ruin her reputation and ability to find a proper husband someday. It's not until a new orc captain rises to power that peace can be achieved.

So, why is it my favourite series?

Well, the characters are real people, with flaws and qualities, a proper personality, and real feelings, to begin with. The spicy scenes actually make sense in the story by moving it forward and giving us character development.

Then, my favourite thing about when a story skips straight to the spice: is not a slow burn! Characters don't spend 5011 books to touch pinkies and look at each other. So, by consequence, she doesn't spend 5011 books thinking if he likes her or not, giving us actual character development and room for world building. And not just Main Character™ development. We have amazing secondary characters. Every book has actually 2 couples, one that is the main one, and one she helped get together by the power of friendship and "get your shit together!". Those girls are not afraid of getting their hands dirty to get things going. They gotta stop a war, remove human prejudice against orcs, stop whatever warmongering human lord is plotting whatever to get the war started again, and manage whatever job they were given in their new homes.

They have friends too! They're not pushing whatever friends they have away because they're in a relationship. They have female and male friends, they talk, they go shopping, they keep in touch and go out of their way to help their friends! And those are genuine friendships, with no backstabbing or underlying jealousy. They just want to hang out for the sake of hanging out! They do their best to get the new girl used to their new home in the mountain, to explain the culture to her, and make sure she's feeling welcome.

The only forgettable main character is from the second book, The Heiress and the Orc, who I haven't seen in a while, as she lives somewhere else and didn't have much impact on the overall story, but her book is still a good read.

The Librarian is one of my favourite, along with the Maid, the Governess and the Widow. But all the girls, all the books, do something to improve the lives of everyone in that mountain. Be it by taking over the maintenance or running a shop, they know what they're doing and will not back down as long as it means that they're getting the job done.

We currently have 9 books, with one more coming out this year. And, yes, since each book is a different couple, it doesn't get boring or repetitive (side glare to Slow Burn Romance)

So, yes. I could talk about it for days.

[thisdreamplace]

i keep having these glimpses, of purity, of truth and also cloudedness easily provided by the ego.

i know its a moment of transformation, of rebirth. for a moment all is clear, and i get it. peace flows to me in abundance, love is a thing i am and not a thing i seek. all is well and there's nothing to ask for anymore, nothing to want.

but other times, its a downward spiral and crash landing into every painful story i ever called mine. any hurtful belief i easily accepted back then, when i simply didnt know what i know now. and sometimes its so heavy, i can hardly make the seperation between a story and my true self.

i've learned so much on this journey, experienced such beautiful things. but the truth is, things havent been easy for me lately and i want to be transparent about that. more than anything, i'd like to allow safety and knowledge of the process. knowing these things, doesn't make it an overnight process. and that's okay. i'm saying this for myself, but for everyone else too who feels like they're doing something wrong because they read the posts and they get it, and yet that hasn't stopped the fears or doubts or ego from taking over time to time. let's never pretend the process doesn't exist, because then we'd be denying this life we chose to come here and live and explore, and that just makes everything more painful than ever necessary. it's deattachment from what the ego says things are supposed to be, and just allowing what truly is, beyond all that.

the post i wrote about indifference, i understand it more than ever. that being said, it doesn't mean i am always successful. but even so, i know that's where i want to go back to each time. it makes so much sense, there's nothing to fight, and even more, there's nothing to liberate myself from. i've been sitting with myself, sometimes with binural beats on (i just really like them, no need for them tho) and just sit with everything. not in a fight, not to say "i dont believe in you, go away"... but to simply say "welcome in, your presence literally changes nothing." and sit with that uncomfortable feeling if it arises.

i'm leaving this blog indefinitely, once again. i love reading all of your lovely words, and finding small pockets of inspirations from some of you other lovely bloggers out there. but it's also time for me to turn away again, to find peace in my own life, and come closer to the god within and the love that is infinitely mine, if only i'll allow myself to acknowledge it.

[eroaneki]

So given that I've had two days to kind of level out a bit and sit in my head, there's one thing that has stuck out to me and I didn't know why it bothered me so much.

When we signed our marriage license, Joe got into a tizzy about how I want to hyphenate my last name and not take his entirely. And he said it was because I'm still holding onto my past and I'm not willing to let go of it. And I disagree with him entirely on it. And it comes from him never quite understanding who I am, I think.

I don't think he knows what it's like to grow up in a situation where every single shred of your identity was questioned and ridiculed constantly. To where you had self-doubt forever drilled into your head, and even when you did things right or acted correctly, they still were wrong simply because it was you who was doing them.

So when I finally found my sense of self and my identity at like 16/17, I vowed to never let anyone take that from me ever again. That I will fight to remain as my own individual person throughout every phase of my life, because I have that right. And I should be able to exist as an individual, even alongside someone else.

And it doesn't mean I cannot welcome someone else into my life. I chose to hyphenate my last name, not reject his entirely. That's me welcoming him into who I am, to stand alongside me. By him asking me to throw away my last name in favor of his, it's akin to him asking me to throw my entire identity away and replace it with him. The identity that I fought so fucking hard to find and curate over the years.

And throughout many points of our relationship, I feel as if Joe has viewed my wanting to hold onto myself as a threat to him. He always needs to be in my head, always needs to know what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. And I have told him many times over that I cannot commit my entire being to him. That I do not want to commit everything I am to him, because I need to hold onto a part of myself. I need that for myself. And I would never expect him to do the same for me. In fact, I don't want him to do the same for me. I don't think that's healthy.

And he takes offense to it. Feels as if I'm rejecting him. So I eventually started to just chip away at myself and replace everything with trying to make him happy. But I couldn't when it came to sex, because it felt wrong. That's where the hard stop was. I couldn't throw my body at him the same way I could everything else.

I don't believe in soul mates or "you complete me," etc. My theory on love is having two completely individual people coming together and existing in a harmonious way. I don't believe in love that is all encompassing and suffocating and "I can't live without you," etc. That shit makes for great romance novels but it's horrible in real world applications.

What that is, is codependency, which is not healthy. Living your life in such a way that you exist for the other person and the other person only is not healthy. I don't need to know how you're feeling about everything. I don't need to know what you're doing all of the time. You have hobbies, I go see my friends, we come together at certain points and we talk about it. We go on vacations with one another and have us time. We still exist as two individual people sharing a life together. We don't exist for one another.

And I really cannot sacrifice that anymore. I can't do it. Because I am essentially stifling who I am for him. And I'm fucking miserable over it. I feel like I'm in a box and I can't get out of it. It's so freeing now that everything is over and out in the open, because I can finally be honest. I'm okay with either outcome.

I want to be my own person again. I want to live a life that's mine. Not dictated by someone else. Not in fear that someone else views my independence as a threat to them.

I will always choose myself in the worst of situations, because at the end of your life, you and all of the decisions you've made throughout your life are all you have. No one is coming to save you; you have to do that yourself. And there are ways to live like that while coexisting with another person. You make compromises. You listen to how the other person feels. You take their hand and invite into your life.

Choosing to be with someone is exactly that: a choice. It is not a necessity. We need social interaction as humans in order to feel fulfilled, but love is a choice. When all the butterflies and warm fuzzy feelings of the beginning fade away, love becomes a decision that two people agree upon to maintain. You wake up every day and choose to love one another. You can easily wake up one day and decide not to anymore, for whatever reason.

But that choice to continue loving one another should never come at the cost of sacrificing who you are in order to keep it going.

[momentsofamber]

Hey uuuuh did you know... Ur big swaggy and hella stronger than ur demons? 😉👍 You've overcome them in the past to make it to today, you'll overcome today's with the lessons from the past, and the future doesn't know what it has coming to it 📣👏😁

Anon, this was so nice to wake up to. 😭 Thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry it took me all day to respond to this and I'm about to ramble so feel free to skim this, I'm gonna dump it under a read more. ( Do people even still use these in 2024? askdjhf )

I never directly attacked anyone in my time while pretending to be an anti. I was just completely silent on the matter, letting my morality complex and p.edophobia ocd wage war on my well-being.

It's ironic, I've been on this site since about 2010; and in 2012 when I started to be at my first most active point on tumblr and had a friend group on here, I would blog about Wincest (SPN) on main and no one said anything or thought anything of it, they just kept scrolling. That was the norm. People just SHIPPED whatever they wanted.

Flash ahead to like 2018 and suddenly everywhere I go there are now neon eyesore banners on posts, including fucking stimboards and whatnot with 'p.roship d.ni' and 'a.nti-a,ntis d.ni' ( I'm censoring that just so this post isn't blacklisted from proshippers because that is NOT my stance ) and I was like 'I don't even know what these terms MEAN?? where did these come from??' but I was too afraid to ask anyone so I just. Stayed silent and promised myself I'd only reblog "safe" content and that I was "happy" I'd "become a better person since then". ( spoiler: I was lying to myself. )

And over the years any time I made new friends who had never seen that content on my blog back then, I'd just say I didn't support Problematic Content(tm) and I'd only talk about and rp and reblog ships that were "normal", because I was now so afraid people would reject me at any time because it seemed like the anti crowd was so large and violent and nasty -- my mental health at that time would not have been able to handle that hatred.

-- in fact I had this SAME experience in the plural community with the a.nti-e.ndos for identifying as a median system. ( we know now that we are a bpdgenic osdd-1b system, but we still prefer most median terminology to describe ourselves. ) But the traumagenic DID systems who were pro-endo were so much more welcome to interacting with us than the exclusionists. And it's the same bullshit different flavor happening here with the proshippers.

How much overlap is there between a.nti-e.ndo and a.nti-p.roship rhetoric, I wonder? It's wild. I wish I had learned how to undo my black and white thinking so much sooner and listen to new points of view instead of just shying away from the unknown in fear.

But this is a new year, and this is a new me. This blog is going to be a source of love and positivity and learning about other people's experiences. Any discourse or negativity ( even the validating kind ) will remain on my sideblog. I don't have to like or even agree with everything I see online, but I am going to support people's right to say it, do it, make content of it, as long as all parties involved are consenting. ( Fictional characters, animated or live action, do not have the autonomy to consent or not consent so people can do anything they want with fiction that makes them feel happy and fulfilled, full stop. Yes, this includes RPF and selfshipping. As long as you keep your content in your safe space and no actors/musicians/etc involved in the creation of that character you're using are able to see it - I will support your right to make or consume any content as you see fit. )

[ask-but-beware-the-consequences]

After the End | part 2

Continuation of 2x06

On the way back, Crowley was still thinking. When he was up in Heaven with Muriel, he saw the video of the archangels wanting to continue the great plan. Just because Gabriel said no at Armageddon 2, and they unofficially fired him, that doesn't mean they won't continue until they can finally get there. This won't be solved just by running away. Aziraphale was right, even if he was manipulated, they need someone on the inside, with a high position such as what he got offered. They need to put an end to the plan of destruction for good. Aziraphale must be scared senseless, from Metatron, from the task he took on, from God, from failing, from him not being beside him.

He almost stopped in his steps, but they needed to get his talking over with.

- Oh, the love pair I meant to report back from!

- I think it's not needed anymore. I was stupid enough to say what we really did with that miracle.

- Are you angry at yourself?

- I am. Very much. I keep screwing things up, but that's just how demons are.

Nina and Maggie were waiting for them to return, waved to Muriel, and welcomed them at the table.

- Hello! I don't think it's important anymore, but I'm curious, are you two in love yet?

Nina gave her the look.

- ...You just can't stop asking about my love life, can you?

- Sorry! I was just promised that this would happen and now I'm invested in it. A bit.

- Look, maybe one day, alright? For now I need space, and some peace.

- Oh alright! So what do you want to talk about?

- Crowley?

- So as you know, Metatron took away Aziraphale Up there.

- Yes.

- Did you like Aziraphale?

- He was being very kind, yes! It was fun to work around him.

- Yesss...I get that.

- I hope nothing bad happens to him. It would be a shame to lose such a friendly angel. But he's getting a promotion, so I'm sure he'll be alright in Heaven!

Nina had seen the third person with this still believing in magic trope, it was getting weird. Maggie on the other hand wanted to tell her what's going on but still kept her word to Crowley.

- Muriel, do you think Heaven, for you as angels, is really a good place?

- Of course! Hell is bad, so it only makes sense it's all good!

Nina was giving up in her mind from all that innocence and for it being used out.

- Okay let's cut this short. Aziraphale is in bad hands, and Metatron is using him. He might get to you too, just to get what he wants. You need to know this, do not trust Metatron, he wants to use you.

- I mean, everyone does, that's how it has to be, but how do you know about Metatron? He's the voice of God, he can't be that bad..? I feel like everyone's got more knowledge but me. I'm doing such a bad job - she said dissapointedly at herself.

Maggie tried to make it better for her.

- No, no! You're not doing a bad job, you're just unexperienced!

Crowley continued.

- You doing a good job now only depends on what you will do. I'm a demon, I know. But it would be wise to step aside from anything Metatron would try to tell you.

- Didn't Aziraphale tried to do the same?

Crowley got quiet. He was hurt by those words, so Maggie continued.

- I think what he means to say is, it would be better to avoid him for now. Don't get involved, be busy when he would need you.

- But it's my best chance at finally getting forward in my job!

- God...! Are all angels like that? - Nina was getting a bit upset.

- Mostly - Crowley said.

- Look, you're not safe with him. You either miss out on one opportunity, and probably get more opportunities later, or you get too far too soon and risk your existence, and live in fear. We want what's best for you.

Crowley was thinking.

- I think it's better if you hide your face for now - he took a breath - Muriel needs to go Up. I have a message to Aziraphale. Maggie you're coming too.

Nina joined in.

- Then I'm coming too, I don't want to miss out on any important changes.

- ...Sure.

Crowley got inside with the others onto the Bookshop's lowest floor.

- We need to do a very good job at this. We're hiding Muriel, so Heaven can't get a note of that.

Muriel was getting anxious.

- Why is this so important? Are you doing another trick on me, Mr. Grumpy?

- Stop!... Stop calling me that!

Nina looked at Crowley, he was being desperate, and she could read it.

- Everything he knows, knows it from me.

Crowley gave her a look of confusion, but she want on.

- If anyone asks, it's me who helped, I was the one who realised Metatron is dangorous.

- That's kind of true - Crowley admitted.

- I saw that Metatron manipulated Aziraphale, and poisoned him against his own will - Nina signaled with her brows at Crowley.

- Oh, ooh! Yeah. No! You don't say...! - he acted flabbergasted, like he just learnt that information.

- He's in danger, he might even die, and Metatron might do the same to you. You need to hide.

- I-... I don't get it. We were supposed to be the good guys! - Muriel was scared.

- Oh please, not this again - Crowley breathed out from annoyance, he didn't want to start this over again with another angel too.

- Look Muriel, we like you. You're like a lost puppy and we're trying to look out for you. We are humans, the in-between, we share love. We want to help you. You can't trust a demon that's fine, but you have to trust us!

Maggie came in to speak too.

- You like Aziraphale too, right?

- Well, yes. Barely anyone talks to me, and it was nice to have someone to talk to. He's really nice!

- It all depends on you if we can save him. Saving someone is good, you would do good, wouldn't you?

- Yes, of course!

- Then do this for Aziraphale, and for yourself.

- ...Alright.

Everyone sighed out.

- Thank you.

- So... - Muriel continued - What are we doing?

- Check if anyone's looking in Heaven - Crowley said.

Later the four of them walked out of the shop like nothing happened, to get to the building they've been using to get to Heaven.

They all gave out a sigh, standing in a row.

- It's time. Isn't it? - Muriel asked, giving out an anxious sigh - Coming back to Heaven again.

- It is - Crowley said calmly - you need to do this. We believe in you.

- I'm a bit scared too... but, good luck! - and Maggie snapped her fingers for the elevator to appear.

- Take care. Don't let them take Maggie. Or either of you - said Muriel and she stepped into the elevator.

- We'll be good, you don't have to worry about us - said Crowley.

And finally, Muriel stepped into the elevator. Going up, alone. The thought of Aziraphale being on his own, alone too was what gave her bravery.

Previous <•> Next

[crimsonblackrose]

.

Okay we are officially in December, I assume if all the opening stuff is Christmas related.

The Mills house

Ali's mom was shopping at Century City Mall (looks like they got a different actress) Looks like the original actress retired in the late 80s from acting and passed away in 2023.

She went to Nordstrem and did all her shopping including getting the last two ipads for the kids, which is spoiling them but they're her grandkids.

ALI!!!!!

Ali loves the snow in Colorado.

The holiday logo change.

Carmen: Where do we go from here?

Johnny: thinking she means breakfast.

First adult secret relationship.

Johnny's taking vitamin D.

The instant reaction to Ali responding to his message.

When I watched this the first time I kept going no Johnny no. Because he's with Carmen now. But Carmen's question, can't let your guard down or are you scared to is something that Johnny can only answer after re-meeting Ali, because from Johnny's perspective he never got closure on that relationship and it's been affecting him sense.

I can't believe Miguel's walking around inside of Mr. Miyagi's home in shoes. Sam why didn't you stop him? Also Miggy should know better about dojo respect from when they had the cobra kai dojo.

They're also just talking, but everything Sam says is very barbed. Miguels trying to make connections Mr. Miyagi was to Daniel as Kreese was to Johnny (True), but she takes offense to that and then sends a barb back "Mr. Miyagi taught my dad the right way." aka her karate is better and right and Johnny and Miggy's is wrong.

Trying to start parent trapping their sensei's.

I wouldn't say the styles are so far apart, they can come together in great balance that you all truly need. Daniel needs an outlet for his anger rather than just repressing it and burning people with the steam that occasionally shoots out. Johnny needs to chill and learn to just breathe and also to defend himself. And y'all need to learn the same things. Because Sam is a lot like her father and Miguel is rather chill already but can never get enough defense and calming chill.

Robby's the only one ahead of the curve here.

Miguel putting the hand drum in his pocket to spar with Sam is such a landmine waiting to happen. It's an accident but Daniel already doesn't trust him.

Are they truly officially broken up with Tory and Robby or did they both just manage to hurt Tory and Robby so badly that they figure the relationship is over? Because I fear it's actually #2.

Lol hi Daniel, welcome to the dojo, you're teaching teens, you're lucky they weren't making out at Mr. Miyagi's before now.

Also how did Daniel notice the drum so fast?

I will note that Daniel is wearing his shoes in the house too.

Robby very neatly rolling up his sleeping bag. Sleeping on the cement in the backroom.

Couple of questions related to that. Was Robby testing the waters with Sam before deciding to live secretly at Miyagi-do? Or was he planning to try and live with the LaRusso's? Kreese has fully moved into Cobra Kai with photos and what not, but has he moved out of the mission? Was he truly living at the mission? Is he still there? Did he invite Robby to live with him or would that never happen? Why is Robby living in the backroom on the cement and not the office which seems like it'd be a bit more comfortable? Did Kreese give him some of his military stuff? Like the sleeping bag? Where did Robby get that?I can't believe he's sleeping next to the weights and a water heater.

Someone please save this kid.

Also, Robby's kinda dressed like his dad. Flannel over a band t-shirt and jeans.

Kreese does apologize that he had to sleep on the floor and they bond over sleeping in worse conditions. Kreese probably actually approves of this and is like we're bonding. 🤣 Offers Robby coffee says it's not good but hot.

Kreese teaching Robby the cobra strike which was one of the first things Johnny taught Miguel on the same dummy. And it's the same instructions, lunge and bite.

Ah, Hawk and Kyler, I can't believe they're showing up together. What's interesting is in the back before they arrived there were like 3 backpacks, so either Kreese has 3, Robby has a backpack on top of that red bag he somehow acquired (his cute brown bag that Daniel bought him is probably with wherever Daniel put the rest of his stuff) or these kids are leaving their school stuff behind at the dojo.

Frequently Kreese sides with his students, but because Robby is Johnny's son and so he really wants Robby as a pawn to get both Robby and Johnny he defends Robby against Hawk.

Really I don't think Kreese has a ton of warmth for Hawk. He likes that Eli's vicious, and he'll defend him against Miyagi-do but other than that I truly think he doesn't care. If Hawk had lost against Kyler instead of being pissed and going against Brucks and beating him to a pulp Kreese would've dropped him too. I think he's truly only invested in Tory and Robby. (I say this because he was interested in Miguel until he realized Miguel will always pick Johnny over him and if Johnny doesn't come over he can't really use Miguel to lure him over) Even though Hawk took Miguel's spot as best fighter and top student.

Oh kreese catches Tory's nod to Robby.

Kreese's army photo wall is growing:

pretty sure that's an army logo mug too.

lol I was right.

The enemy of your enemy is your friend. (Somehow Daniel hasn't picked up on that) But in this case, what do you mean. Hawk is still pissed that Miguel was put in the hospital by Robby. Even though they abandoned and no longer deal with Miguel and he's quote on quote a traitor. So who is Robby the enemy of? Miyagi-do? Or Miguel? Pretty sure Robby right now is a free agent.

They changed Robby's bag. Earlier he had a red bag next to where he was sleeping, now he's got a green-brown one. also do these kids not pick up their stuff? They keep showing Robby cleaning up and putting his things away but then there's backpacks the other kids have I guess left behind and equipment out everywhere.

Tory hated Robby for what happened to Miguel. Sam, but most of all herself but couldn't run away like Robby could.

Kreese taught her how to channel her hate to make her stronger.

I've been looking, I think Kreese abandoned his pet snake at the LaRusso auto dealership.

Tory invites Robby to hang out after class.

Ali and Johnny meet up at the Magnolia kitchen cafe

Johnny listening to other guys to hear their orders to determine what he should order to impress Ali: vegan mung dahl bowl with spiced carrots, turmeric cauliflower and coconut yogurt.

Ali is so cute. I love her brown leather jacket

I can't believe he remembers the whole order. He'd be a good waiter. Unlike the lady from the double date restaurant.

I love that Ali is like I don't know what that is so cheeseburger.

Glad Johnny switches to the burger because there's no way he'd enjoy the vegan mung dahl bowl and would just suffer.

She does this all the time.

Usually the cars aren't covered, so it's interesting that this one time they are. I also went back and checked, Daniel is right Sam did have all the doors shut. Though Mr. Miyagi's place isn't near the house so I'm not sure what good that'd necessarily do.

I feel like leaving the door open isn't a bad rule but Sam thinks it's unfair. Which is wild, because it's like basic general household rules not just a 1984 rule. And for a girl who keeps lying and lying via omission to her parents about what she's up to....a little parenting won't hurt her. Daniel's not even saying, don't bring a boy here or tell me if you're going to invite a boy over into Mr. Miyagi's home, he's saying leave the door open. That's like the lightest little slap on the wrist.

Daniel totally thinks Sam is using the dojo to have sex and Robby walked in on it, not realizing that was Miguel and Sam's first back together kiss.

And while the way he words it is a little dramatic and judgy for a guy who had a new girlfriend in every movie. He is right that it's unfair to these boys that she keeps bouncing back and forth between Robby and Miguel. Like Miguel thought she was cheating on him with Robby, and she wasn't, but then she dumped Miguel for Robby and then while Robby was out he thought she was cheating on him with Miguel after she saw them together and she wasn't not in that moment but she had when drunk which I think Robby didn't fully hold against her because he's been around his mom drunk and probably his dad. But then now she is with Miguel again.

And she doesn't tell her parents about who she's dating, or at least hasn't since Kyler. Which is an additional issue. The secret boyfriends isn't fair to anyone and the not really breaking up with them, just hanging out with the other till the other gets jealous and then letting that be the break up to switch is kinda...unfair to each of them. Though them assuming she's cheating also isn't fair.

It's dramatic and a bit messy for sure.

I'm still your daughter and you can trust me.

Can he? Miss throws a party and doesn't tell anyone? Miss we closed the dojo but I'm going to teach underground fights and then use my defense only karate for revenge and get into more fights which negatively affects the dojo and the dealership? Miss gets into a car accident and doesn't tell her parents? I could go on. She's really like her father a la TKK not telling his mother anything.

He doesn't trust Miguel, but Miguel is a sweetie and he was drunk 1 time and screwed up by starting a fight but hitting Sam instead and going too far at the all-valley but Johnny's redirected him out of no mercy every chance he can. But again, Miguel is Johnny's student so he doesn't trust him.

What happened to there's no bad students only bad teachers? For some reason Daniel truly blames all of Kreese on Johnny, all of Johnny on Johnny and then everything that was compounded by those two things earned and unearned on everyone around him.

"He's not even in Cobra Kai anymore" is the thing that let's Daniel sigh and go okay maybe you're right. Which is it truly the name? If so is Johnny now in a safer boat?

Kyler hanging out with Eli is so weird. Also following orders. Like he went from being a leader to a second. Also Kyler is I guess the beer guy instead of Mitch.

Proud of Robby for say no.

It is nice that Tory explains whether things will clash with his probation or not because she knows.

Also I just realized that this group is kinda like Robby's back with his original two friends.

They're at Ventura zoo

Ali and Johnny got stuck on a ferris wheel for hours and it was windy and Ali thought they were going to die and Johnny was laughing. It was their first date and Johnny thought it was going terribly. Their second date was much better.

He partied through his 20's and 30's, then got a Shannon who he was dating pregnant.

starting with you.

The way Ali takes what Johnny said, hears it, and tells him she's messed up too. She did everything by the book and was unhappy, ex-wife.

Johnny apologizes for taking her for granted and screwing up. Messing up their relationship and friendship and worst of all, her radio.

He always does own up to his own actions and doesn't accept others, it's just when he blames himself for things or takes responsibility for things that aren't his fault that it gets hard to tell. Sort of like his conversation with Carmen, who blamed him for Miguel's injury only to realize how badly that had hurt Johnny and how much he'd cared and that it wasn't actually his fault. But Johnny took responsibility for it anyway.

Ali said punching Johnny in the face was fun.

He said he had that coming and she agrees.

Miguel gets Daniel's side of the story, that Daniel is originally from Reseda. The sensei was a rich kid.

Daniel pointing out that Miguel used that same kick without much trouble.

How does Hawk know all of this? There are two cameras over there, the security guard goes on break once every hour, we've got less than five minutes.

Do you think this is Kreese's snake? That this is what happened to it when the LaRusso's called animal control? (I assume that's what they did)

They're getting a gift for sensei.

They got into the back real easy. also none of these kids are dressed for stealth, they're so brightly dressed up and in their dojo logo, which is always so dumb.

Kyler forgot the snake pole. He's worried about Trig and his dad's reaction to it.

Robby just grabbing the cobra because he's good at this type of thing from his time pre-miyagi-do.

Welcome back home, I'm sorry grandpa kreese abandoned you at the LaRusso auto. (I'm going to headcannon it's the same snake)

Robby not expecting his time an ace degenerate to come in handy with the new kids.

The water hose?

Daniel: It was just sitting there I couldn't help myself. 🤣

I dunno Daniel, Miggy isn't fully like you or Johnny. He doesn't quite have that little trickster energy.

Miguel quietly defending Johnny.

Daniel says Ali was his first love too, which isn't quite accurate. He tells Sam a couple seasons ago that he had a first love back in Jersey if I remember correctly. But they're going for that parallel of Johnny and Daniel fighting over Ali versus Robby and Miguel fighting over Sam.

Daniel, you're missing part of the spiel here. "I thought she was the one" but then you also say you thought Kumiko was the one, and there were more after that.

Welcome to the plot bud. 30 years late.

This was all Miguel wanted in season 1. A chance to talk and meet Daniel without Daniel automatically hating him and without Sam hiding him from Daniel. I'm glad they had that conversation.

I like Sam's nails they're like a white to purple ombre.

Like the fact Daniel being willing to talk and shake Miguel's hand and Miguel and Sam being shocked by that is very telling.

Ali kicking Johnny's ass at air hockey and video games.

I think Johnny really needed this. Someone from his past that he loved, forgiving him and a chance to have a good time.

Like he's only had a good time so far with Miguel and the Diaz's. this expands his world a little.

They also play the basketball game and mini golf

The win a hippo plush, Ali hits him in the face with it and laughs.

I think he's also needed this closure.

Johnny posing the plushie

Ali also has a 17 year old.

Robby is complicated, smart, too smart for his own good, and a heartbreaker. As soon as Ali compares Johnny "a heartbreaker" to Robby he shuts down and tells her to tell him about her two.

Lucas is the oldest and is a talented soccer player and writer with a dry sense of humor.

Ava was on a path to being ballet dancer but then starts playing the drums and joins a punk band, a rebel like her mom. (Ali says she's a rebel now, but wasn't when she was younger but Johnny disagrees) Greg has them that week, so it's the week of Christmas, and it's Ali's first Christmas alone. Her parents are being annoying.

Her parents are more upset about the divorce then she is and they don't approve. Johnny's not surprised.

They almost kiss but neither of them closes the gap, waiting for the other to close the gap until Ali gets a message. Ali invites him to the country club party that she completely forgot about.

Robby puts the snake in the tank with his bare hands.

Hawk I think realized that no matter how much hard work he puts in he's not what Kreese's looking for. He just got snubbed for Robby. Which Johnny warned him about.

Kreese brought up Sam and Miguel's speech (all he knows) specifically to piss off Tory and Robby.

LaRusso christmas decor:

oh right the Miyagi-do christmas party.

Another new Miyagi-do

Mitch and Chris being the most dressed up for a holiday party but instantly pissed to see each other.

we're missing a red.

Bert and Nate's fighting is always so intense. I hate your stupid face so much| If you died I wouldn't even attend your funeral

Johnny having a white suit jacket. Not just that brown one he wears with the yellow

Into Encino Oaks Country club which I don't think he's been to in a while.

I wonder if Johnny didn't know Daniel became a member of his old country club. Which what a choice there Daniel.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

👑 Being Seijoh's Manager 👑

Miss Manager Secretly Dating Iwaizumi Hajime

Iwaizumi Hajime featuring Seijoh x Female Manager

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, Toru Oikawa

AN: This is an Anon request!

🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠

Ok Tiffany YN

Sorry habit 😅 🤸‍♀️

You are the luckiest bitch to ever exist 💓

And I mean that with all the pettiness I hold in my heart

Seriously YN?

FREAKING IWAIZUMI HAJIME

As in future, timeskip IWAIZUMI HAJIME, 27, ATHLETIC TRAINER 🗣

God I can not STAND YOU 😭

It's always hard seeing people living out your dreams 😢

Anyways enough of me being a petty jerk

Let's move onto you

Freaking gorgeous? No spectacular? No amazing?

All of the above ✔️

The fact that you landed at Seijoh and Seijoh landed you as their manager?

Where do I even start??

You are a transfer student your third year

Ouch 🥴

But never fear YN, the welcome wagon is here 🥳

The welcome wagon includes Oikawa and that's it 😅

So maybe you should fear

Anyways, Oikawa approaches you and sits across from you at lunch

"Hello gorgeous and who might you be?"- Oikawa

Eww gag 🤢

"Umm I'm YN"

"YN is such a pretty name. Has anyone shown you around school yet? Maybe I could-"

"LOSERKAWA WHAT THE F-" Iwaizumi, stopping dead and staring at you 👁👄👁

Freaking spectacular 😍

He's never seen someone as gorgeous as you

You smile and wave at him because 🤤 ughhh he's so hot 😭

"Iwa-chan!! I was just about to show YN around the school!"- Oikawa

"Ummm no you weren't"- you

Iwa 👉🏻 instant love ❤️

"YN- chan 😭😭😭"- Oikawa

"Shut it shittykawa"- Iwa

Thus begins a blossoming friendship 😍

On that regularly involves bullying of one Toru Oikawa 👐🏻

When you find out you need a club, you ask Iwaizumi for suggestion

You tell him the swim team needs a manager but you aren't sure

Iwaizumi is not, I repeat NOT going to let you manage the Swim Team YN 🙅‍♂️

"You know we could use a manager on the Volleyball team"- Iwaizumi

"REALLY 🤩🤩🤩"- You behind so freaking adorable

Iwa is melting bro

He has the biggest freaking crush on you

So when you ultimately become manager, the crush only intensifies

Serious he will growl at Mattsun and Makki for even touching you

If Oikawa touches you, he's going to cannonball a volleyball so hard at his head you aren't sure Oiks will recover

Better make sure your first aid training is up to date YN 😅

The final straw for Iwa is when Oikawa asks you to come over to his house and watch tapes to prepare for the prelims

No way in HELL is that happening without Iwa there

"YN can I talk with you?"- Iwa, already pulling you the hallway

"Umm sure Haji"- you

God he loves when you say his name 😭

He doesn't even stop before he's pulling you into kiss him

Seriously man is bold ✋️

When he pulls back, he does that adorable thing where he lays his forehead on yours and you literally melt

"Go out with me"- Iwa, our dream man

"Ok"- you 🥺

Thus begins the ship that is IwaYN

When you start dating, you do it on the down low

Because you and Haji enjoy spending time just the two of you

Iwaizumi does not like that you are keeping your ship a secret

He would rather everyone knows your his

Literally this man is into PDA and the fact that he can't touch you 👀

It drives him insane!

Also the fact that you made him promise to not murder Oiks everytime he talks to you 🤣

That takes some serious restraint!

Nevertheless, you manage to keep your relationship secret for 2 months

Then it finally happens

You are at the interhigh prelims

The boys are practicing when you decide to quickly sneak out to use the restroom

You think nobody will notice your gone

Thing again

Within .02 seconds Iwaizumi has noticed

He's frantic 😳

"Have you guys seen YN?"- Iwa

"Dude chill she probably just went to fill up water bottles or something?"- Mattsun

"Who knows, maybe she went to talk to that guy who asked for her number earlier?"- Makki says shrugging

Wrong thing to say 😃

"What guy?"- Iwa clips, literally radiating bad energy

He stomps to the gym doors and out, Makki and Mattsun follow

"Hey were are you guys going?"- Oikawa

Oiks never wants to be left out

Meanwhile you just happen to be leaving the bathroom and walk straight into the back of Karasuno's Ace

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!"- you

"Oh no! I shouldn't have been just standing there"- Asahi

You go to side step him when you see Iwa blazing through the crowd, the crew behind him

"Haji what's wrong-" you

"Is that the guy who asked for your number?? I kill him!"- Iwa

Whoo what??

"Haji nobody asked for my number! What are you-"

Before you can even say another word, Iwa's mouth is on yours and you are being kissed like your life depends on it 🥰

Makki and Mattsuns jaws are dropped 😲

Oikawa is passed out on the floor 💀

The other teams are just staring 😳

Iwa pulls away and says "alright listen up! Yn is my girlfriend and anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who so much as breathes in her direction will get a face full of my fist"

Ok then 😃

Makki and Mattsun are both smirking now 😏

Oikawa is still on the floor

Someone check on him

Or don't

"Come on YN, we have a game to win"- Iwa, pulling you to the gym

Don't fight it YN, there's nothing you can do 🥰

[mayeetjim]

Welcome to

Empires SMP Descendants au

So first up is the good guys, aka the children of princesses and princes yada yada

First is Jimmy and Lizzie because they were easy. Their mother is Ariel. They inherited the ability to go between mermaid and human forms. Lizzie is known around school for her voice and willingness to help others that have not crossed her. Jimmy however is more reclusive, being the younger sibling that usually ends up hanging with Lizzie until he makes his own friends.

Next is Katherine. As everyone knows, fairies are born from dandelion fluff, but something went wrong. This fluff grew and grew until she became the size of a human baby, and was given to Pan, as he knew Tink. Obviously meant to be a garden fairy, she works well with flowers and trees, and can usually be found studying or talking down to her friends from the branches of her favourite tree on school grounds.

Joey, the heir of Belle and the Beast. He was raised to be perfect, and gets upset when things don't go his way. He may have a crush on one of the Frost twins, but we don't have to talk about that. He has quite the rivalry with-

Shrub, daughter of Alice. Too many shrinking and enlarging cakes and drinks led to a daughter who only comes to about half the height of a typical human, but she finds her way around. Shrub has affinity for magic, especially mushrooms, left over from Alice's trips to Wonderland. She works with Katherine to hone this ability.

Next are Scott and Xornoth, the twin children of the infamous Jack Frost. Many people questioned if they should be on the villian isle or not, given the morally grey nature of their father, but The Beast spoke up for the two, and they were raised along with the others. Scott does not find his icey powers to be a blessing, tending to repress them out of fear or hurting his friends, while Xornoth embraces his. Each has their own skills however, so do not underestimate either of these two.

The last of these students are Gem and fWhip, children raised by the mysterious Dreamfinder. Raised under the wings of a dragon, with magic and machine surrounding them every moment of their lives, Gen grew into a fine wizard, working to one day apprentice under the infamous Merlin, while fWhip works to build contraptions never seen before. Each seems blessed by the dragon, Figment, and this manifests in different ways for each.

Next are the Villains, those raised on the Isle of the Lost.

Sausage, the son of the King and Queen of Hearts. He is bloodthirsty, all hidden behind a smile so pearly white you'd think nothing evil of him. Due to a mysterious magic user, he became friends with two kids when younger, but as the trio grew older, they realized who each other was, and all ties were cut off. He hopes to reunite with his friends he knows are on the other side of this barrier, and he will stop at nothing to have them back.

Joel, son of Gaston, enemy to Joey. Dressing in bright colours common to the Isle, he dyes part of his hair green to rebell against his father. Despite him, he has grown to be the perfect prince, if he only has the chance to make it out of this damned prison. He has found a few friends, and hopes to keep them close in his rose to princehood.

Pearl resents her father, Clayton, for what he attempted to do, and has tried to make amends with whatever thing is out that that dictates their fate. She grows fresh vegetables in a window sill, helps other villian kids gets good food, and protects animals. She is most certainly able to weird a gun or sword, deadly with both, and there is very little that keeps her from fleeing her father any moment she can. She just needs the chance.

Finally, Pix, son of Jafar, raised to be diplomatic and do whatever it takes to succeed. Of course, that doesn't mean that's what he does. With an odd fascination with copper and raw emerald, he collects these gems, and keeps them away from Jafar, in case he sells them or keeps them in his own horde of useless wealth on the Isle. Maybe he will one day leave, and be free to help people the way he knows he can, only if given the chance.

If you have any suggestions or questions, please ask, I'd love to go more in depth or explore plot points.

[hiddens-eden]

The Last Tune (Emmett Cullen x Male!Reader) Pt 1

Paring; Emmett Cullen x Male Reader + Cullen Family x Male Reader (PLATONIC)

Warning: Cursing, Abuse, Tramua, Angst

Pronouns; He/Him

Spelling checked; No

Summary; Y/N is a quiet boy that's had his fair share of physical and emotional trauma, so he loves to keep to himself. He barely interacts with anyone unless needed and prefers to listen to music and sketch in peace. So imagine his surprise when some of the most popular kids in school want to be around him! They heard him singing along with his music and were immediately entranced. One of them in particular has his eyes set on him. Though, they are not the only ones who have an interest in Y/N.

A/N; Hello, my little Otaku's! Welcome to my first fic! I hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated! Just be kind! I'm sorry if it seems at all rushed! On my next stories I do plan on switching PoV's so it'll be easier to write and more entertaining. Enjoy!

"Who are they?"a dark haired girl asked her friend that was sitting just across from their lunch table

"Those are some of the most popular people in school, the Cullen's. Not only are they hot as hell, but they're charming to boot! They do disappear for long periods of time, which gives them an air of mystery."

At the Cullen's table, they softly chuckled at the description the new girl was given. After all, it's only natural considering what they are. They are a being talked about in many fantasy tales. Known for their taste for blood. Vampires, a creature of the night that feasts on humans. However, they in particular don't drink human blood

They went back to softly talking to each other, but a few minutes later something caught their attention. A soft voice echoed in their eardrums. It was enchanting and beautiful, it was like nothing they've ever heard of. They all simultaneously started looking around for the source of the pleasant sound when the new girl asked about someone else.

"Who is that?" she asked, pointing to a table where a boy sat by himself

"Oh! That's (Y/N), (L/N)! He doesn't talk much, but when he does, you can't help but feel so tranquil and at peace!"

That caught the vampire's attention, and they whipped their heads to where the brunette was pointing. Noticing that that was where the sound is coming from.

"What do you mean?"

"His voice is so soft, like silk! But it has a sort of firmness to it! That's not the only thing, though. He is so kind, adorable, and smart as well! He even helps who ask for him to tutor them. His personality makes everyone want to be around him!"

That rose some questions in the vampires heads. If he is that well-liked, why is no one sitting near him?

"Then why is he alone?"

~The vampires will have to thank the new girl for asking so many questions~

"Well, whenever people come near him, he gets anxious and tries to get away as soon as possible. Someone grabbed him on accident, and he started having a panic attack, falling to the ground, and hyperventilating."

The Cullen's were a little shocked when they heard this. That wasn't normal for sure

"Holy shit. Was he okay?"

"Yeah, he was sent home early. But, some students saw his face as he was leaving and said that he looked terrified. We think something is going on where he lives, though we can't know for sure" she shrugged

"Once he came to school the next day, he was wearing long-sleeves. I thought it was weird considering he never wore them before, but the rest of the school shrugged it off as it being in the winter months making it reasonable. The person apologized the next day and (Y/N) just said it was fine, and he just likes being alone, so now that's what we do"

Right when the girl finished, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Making everyone get up and start to throw away their trash and head to class. All except one person...

"I don't think he heard the bell" Emmett said

"Gee, none of us would've guessed!" Rosalie responded, causing the other Cullen's to chuckle

Suddenly, Jasper's sight shifted to his wife Alice because he felt her stiffening up, a tell-tale sign of her power activating. The other vampires looked at her as well, waiting for her to relay what she saw. After a little bit she came to and, slowly, turned to Emmett grinning

"Emmett, why don't you go over and tell him class is about to start? Maybe even ask him to tutor you! We all know you need it." she remarked, still grinning

Starting to understand why she was acting like the way she was, Emmett sighed, wanting to protest, but he knew Alice's visions almost always came true, or they would end at the same conclusion.

He made his way over to where the boy was sitting

"Remember not to grab him!" Alice semi-shouted from where she was standing

Emmett waved her off, still approaching (Y/N)

He gently tapped (Y/N)'s shoulder, making the smaller boy jump in surprise and what Emmett can only assume is fear

(Y/N) turned his head around fast enough to give him whiplash and that's when he met the golden eyes of the person that startled him

He took his earbud out before speaking, "I-Is there s-something I can do for you?" (Y/N) asked shakily

Emmett stood there for a moment. He had never seen someone so hot and cute at the same time. The girl was right, too. His voice is the embodiment of angelic. Emmett took this chance to take in all the boys features, from his soft (S/C) skin that reflected the light of the cafeteria. To his intoxicating (E/C) eyes that he could get lost in over and over again. Emmett felt a small pull to (Y/N), and he knew exactly what it meant.

“H-hello? Are you alright?” (Y/N) asked

“I-I um…class is about to start…”

(Y/N) looked at the time and blushed

“So it is…” (Y/N) stood up and started collecting his things “T-thanks for letting me know” (Y/N) stood to leave but was stopped as Emmett stood in front of him

“I was wondering if you could help me study for chemistry? I’m currently failing” Emmett chuckled, rubbing the back of his head

"I-I don't mind, where should we meet?"

"How about the Library after school?"

(Y/N) smiled the slightest bit "Sounds good, now if you don't mind I need to get to class" and with that (Y/N) left the cafeteria heading to his next class. Emmett slowly rejoined his family, still in awe from the recent interaction.

Jasper grinned from the emotions Emmett was emulating

"It seems Emmett is very interested in that guy"

"Hell yeah I am! Did you see him?!"

"We did" Edward answered him, "But"

"But what?" Emmett asked

"I can't read his mind, same with the new girl"

"Does that mean they're a supernatural?" Rosalie asked

"No, they aren't. The new girl is a weird case, but (Y/N) seems to just have fantastic mental walls and barriers. Which is concerning..."

"Then I'll have to break them" Emmett smirked

The rest of the Cullen's let out a collective sigh as they made their way to their respective classes. Still wondering what was going on with the mysterious (Y/N).

The final bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. Students started to funnel out of their classes and into the hallways. Emmett was waiting outside (Y/N)'s classroom, ready to head to the library.

After waiting awhile of waiting, (Y/N) came out of the classroom books and binder in hand

"Hey"

(Y/N) jumped and turned around to see Emmett, a look of relief claimed his face

"You ready to go?"

"Y-yeah"

As they made their way to the library, they made some just talked about their interests and things of that nature, eventually arriving at their destination. After they settled in their seats with the necessary books, they started the study session.

Emmett found it cute, they way (Y/N) would nervously try and help him understand the complex formula's and equations. After a few explanations, (Y/N) sat down and started to work on his homework. Unconsciously, (Y/N) started to sing to himself, making Emmett perk up and look at him.

"You're a good singer"

(Y/N) blushed, "Thanks...but others don't think so..."

"Are you kidding me?!" Emmett stood up, causing (Y/N) to jump a little, "Your voice is amazing!"

(Y/N) blushed at the praise he was given. He'd never been complimented before, so this was new to him.

"Thank you" (Y/N) smiled, making Emmett's cold and dead heart swell with something he's never felt before

"N-no problem" Emmett said before sitting down, and starting to work again, still thinking of that cute-ass smile

Soon, the sun started to set and that was their cue to wrap things up.

"Could you tutor me again tomorrow? If you're free, that is" Emmett asked

"Sure, I should be open. Meet here after school?"

"Deal"

"Then I'll see you tomorrow" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett before walking to his place

To say Emmett was giddy is an understatement. He was over the moon. Not only did he get to be tutored by his adorable mate, but he also got him to open up and be more relaxed around him! He made his way back to his own house and entered with his head still stuck in the clouds. Unaware of the fact that the whole family was sitting in the living room

"It seems that Emmett had an amazing time" Jasper couldn't help but let out his own smile from Emmett's emotions

"Something good happen, Emmett?" Carlisle asked, intrigued by Jasper's comment

"I think he's the one"

"The One?" Esme questioned

Alice snickered, clearly happy that her vision seemed to have came true

"My mate" Emmett replied, still thinking about the fun time he had studying with (Y/N)

"Congrats!! But, make sure you claim him before anyone else!" Esme explained

"He's not an object, Esme" Carlisle chastised

"I know, but humans may not understand their feelings"

"I just have to take things slow. I don't want to scare him off"

~Next Day at School~

"Hey (Y/N)!"

"Hmm? Oh, hey Emmett!" (Y/N) smiled sweetly

As Emmett got closer to (Y/N) he noticed a very distinct smell coming from the boy. "(Y/N) are you alright?" he asked concern lacing his voice

(Y/N) visibly tensed and started to shake slightly. "U-um ye-yeah? I'm f-fine"

Emmett was less than convinced. He needed to know who or what hurt his mate, so he could end it's pitiful existence, then and there. Though, he decided not to add anymore fuel to the fire...yet.

"If you say so. We should head to to class"

"Yeah"

"Are we still on for tonight?"

"If you still want to, then yes" (Y/N) smiled at Emmett causing him to absolutely gush at his adorableness

"Yep! Totally!" (Y/N) chuckled at Emmett's response

While heading to class they just talked about whatever was on their minds. Well, mostly Emmett since (Y/N) is a closed off little bean <3. But, that didn't stop either of them from enjoying themselves. Even once they where in class they softly whispered to each other. Their teacher didn't care much because (Y/N) is a model student and Emmett is a popular kid (you know those teachers that try and get in with the cool kids? Yeah, that's their teacher). When they went their seperate way's for their second block (Y/N) though that was it, like all of the other people he's tutored. He just thought Emmett was being kind and he'd see him after school for their study session. But he was proven wrong at lunchtime.

(Y/N) was eating by himself at a table listening to music and singing along softly when he felt vibrations coming from next to him. He looked over to not only see Emmett, but the whole Cullen entourage in tow. He was shocked to say the very least.

"Can we sit here?"

Collecting himself he responded with a soft "Yeah". The Cullen's then sat down, Emmett sitting on your right and Alice on your left. She squealed and looked twoards you "I've wanted to actually talk to you for a while now! Emmett talks about you and your singing too! I hope I can hear you one day!" This, this was how (Y/N).exe has stopped working. You where an embarassed blushing mess while looking at Emmett in mock betrayal. 'He talks about me?' you thought. He just smirked enjoying your cuteness.

"Ahh!!! He's soo adorable!!" Now you were a even darker red. Only provoking Alice more as she got slightly closer to you. You were about to curl in on yourself when you felt that you were being griped by the waist and pulled into a solid chest.

"Alice, your going to make him explode" Emmett said slightly, just slightly defensive

She laughed "My my what about you then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look down, bonehead" Rosalie butted in amused

Emmett did what she said and saw you an absolute wreck. If a cherry was a person it would be you at this point-

Now he was trying to compose himself. The sight of both of you made everyone at the table start chuckling. After that whole fiasco you got to know Emmett's family and started to enjoy their presence. Something you never really had the pleasure of experiencing...

Over the next few weeks, Emmett did everything he could to be even remotely close to (Y/N). They would do studying sessions at the library, and after they would get something to eat. Well, only (Y/N) did. He thought it was weird Emmett never ate anything, but Emmett assured (Y/N) that he was eating well. They would often go to parks and just have fun too. However, all fun things come to an end. When one day (Y/N) didn't show up to school. Emmett just thought (Y/N) got a cold, but soon days turned to weeks and he was getting worried. He didn't know where (Y/N) lived so he couldn't go to his house and see if he was alright, but one day Carlise came home a little later than usual which was not unnoticed by his family.

"You're back late" Esme commented

"Well there is a teenager in critical condition. He came in with severe lacerations all over his body and what seemed to be marks of repeated tramua as well. He came in a couple of weeks ago and was in a coma until he flatlined earlier this morning" Carlise took off his doctor coat and placed it on the chair making his way to Esme. As he stood next to her he looked over to see his "children" with wide eyes

"Is something wrong?" Carlise asked a bit worried

"When did that patient come into the hospital?" Emmett asked urgently

"(Date). Why?"

With that all of the vampires stood up and started to get ready to go to the hospital

"What's wrong? Where are you guys going?" Esme asked

"That's most likely my mate" Emmett replied, making it clear he was irritated

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Esme rushed everyone out the door and to the hospital

At the hospital, they made their way to the room (Y/N) was at. Once there, Carlisle motioned for Emmett to enter first. Emmett went in and was shocked by what he saw. (Y/N) had many tubes attached to him. His body was wrapped in bandages and his breathing was hitching. Emmett walked over to the resting (Y/N) and reached out for his hand, grasping it softly. He rubbed his thumb over the boy's knuckles in a reassuring manner, then sat down next to the bed, still holding (Y/N)'s hand. He could only think about how much he failed his mate. How could he let this happen? He knew there was something going on, but he did nothing? He turned a blind eye to it all. How can he face (Y/N) when he wakes up? Emmett's thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice

"Who are you?"

"I should be asking you that" Emmett replied

"I'm (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

With that, Emmett's world stopped. Boyfriend? How? Why? Was I to late? Emmett turned to (Y/N) conflicted, but that's when he saw the heart monitor. His heart rate was not that high a while ago.

"Can you leave me with my boyfriend?" (B/F/N) asked harshly

Emmett reluctantly stood up and made his way to the door, but not before taking one last look at (Y/N). Once he was out of the room, Emmett started walking down the hallway back to his family.

"Who was that guy that went in there?" Rosalie went up to Emmett

"Apparently, he's (Y/N)'s boyfriend"

The Cullen's looked at Emmett in sadness and pity, but they noticed something

"You don't seem that bothered about it" Jasper said

"Well, before he came in, (Y/N)'s heart rate was normal, but when he spoke his heart rate rose"

"So, you think-"

"Yeah, his 'boyfriend' must've done that to him"

"That's awful" Esme covered her mouth in shock

"We can't really do anything if we don't have proof though" Alice said irritated

"Then we'll just have to get some" Emmett smirked, making the other Cullen's nod

They made their plan's and put them on hold until you were sent home. In the meantime, Emmett came to visit whenever your 'boyfriend' was never there and if he was, Carlisle was keeping a closer eye on you than normal. He also noticed that (B/F/N) would only ever sit in the chair across the room and when he would glance at you a look of disgust would be present on his face. This further solidified his resolve to get you out of that situation.

~A few days later while Emmett is visiting you~

"We're going to help you (Y/N), Everything will be better soon" Emmett reassured the sleeping male whilst holding his hand. He then felt (Y/N) clench his hand and looked up to see those beautiful (E/C) orbs opening

"Em-"

"Shh, don't strain yourself yet" Emmett stood up and pressed the 'call' button just above (Y/N)'s head before sitting back down

"Where-"

"The hospital...can you tell me what happened to you?"

After a brief pause, (Y/N) shook his ever so slightly

"That's fine, just tell me when you're ready" Emmett smiled sweetly. He saw (Y/N)'s face contort into sadness as he started crying. "I-I'm sorry f-for worrying you" (Y/N) choked out between sobs. Emmett couldn't see him cry like this, so he started to comfort and reassure the other male. "You'll be okay...I won't let you get hurt anymore..."

A/N: I really hope you liked it! Please tell me your thoughts! Sorry it took way longer than I said! I will now be working on the requests I have gotten and a new series I've conjured up ;)By my little Otaku's!!

[hotgirltarot]

Pick-A-Card: What's Blocking You From Finding True Love?! 🛑 💔 💌

Hello Baddies! Welcome to another Pick-A-Card! This PAC is about what is blocking you from finding your soulmate/twin flame. To pick a pile, you can meditate, intuitively choose one or pick whichever crystal is calling out to you. This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Please only take what resonates & leave what does not. If you like your reading and want to support our page, tips are appreciated at $DejaWash19 on Cashapp or Deja-Washington on Venmo!

Pile 1: Labradorite 💙

Pile 2: Rose Quartz 💗

Pile 3: Carnelian ❤️

Now that you have picked your pile, scroll down to see your reading! Remember, have fun and take these readings lightly. Let us know down below which pile you picked in the comments below! Reblog for others to get their message as well!

Pile 1: Labradorite 💙

Hello Pile 1, our little Hopeless Romantics! We are seeing that the people of this pile have a strong desire for true love and to find their soulmate. Your desire to be in love and find "the one" controls your mind and can lead to you obsessing over it. So what's blocking you from finding true love? Honestly, it's yourself. Your outlook on love is too focused on pleasing the other person and being the perfect someone for someone else, that you are forgetting yourself and what you want. Maybe you have noticed after a break up that you were the only one putting in any real effort. You were the one holding on to the relationship while your partner just lived their life and treated you like an option. This pile has the tendency to change themselves (looks, personality, clothes, how they talk) in order to impress/fit in with the person they are dating/interested in. You become actresses, and focus on their happiness over yours. You are so fearful of missing out on love that you are blocking yourself from it. Maybe some of you have been single for a while or feel like time is passing by, but it is never too late. Stop keeping your emotions, your burdens and your interests from your partners. Find someone who is as interested in you as you are in them. Also, stop giving your partners gifts/affection/attention/money that they are not reciprocating back to you. There are others of you that are constantly in the victim role. You are scared to speak up for yourself and stand your ground, in fear of turning off a potential partner, but the right person and true love for you, would never shy away from your feelings. Some of you have been dealing with a father figure or an ex who was obsessed with material things and was cold, uncaring, and unsupportive. This relationship has hurt you and made you have a hard time realizing what type of partner you actually want in your life because you think everyone is "better than them", so it makes it easier for you to lower your standards and get into relationships with people who don't have those traits. Even though they are different, it doesn't mean they are perfect. Don't settle for less and don't lower your standards for anyone. You have to rediscover what traits you want in a partner, write them down on paper, and manifest them.

Take time to focus on yourself! Focus on your health and being the best version of you mentally and physically. Connect with the Divine more because your spirit guides and the universe want to help you achieve your goals. Finding your Soulmate, true happiness and love are definitely in your future but you must put yourself first! Don't allow your love to fall into the wrong hands by being too impatient. Good things are coming to this pile soon, we promise it!

Tips are appreciated at $DejaWash19 on Cashapp or Deja-Washington on Venmo!

Pile 2: Rose Quartz 💗

Pile 2 is for the ones who have felt like they have lost their way. You guys may be questioning your path in life and have so many obstacles in your way that true love may not be a current focus in your life or it's not something you'll ever think you'll achieve. However, with time, major healing and major effort, you can turn around your situation and stop blocking yourself from finding true love. This pile has disconnected from the world in many ways. They have lost their identity, their power and relationships with loved ones. They have heavy trauma that sits on their soul and needs major healing - possibly stemming from absent mothers or abusive relationships. Mother wounds are heavy and require self-kindness and compassion. Pile 2, you must learn to love and accept yourself, just the way you are, imperfections and all. The more you do this, the more your inner critic will leave you alone. We must be honest, this healing isn't simple or an easy one, it will require hard, hard work, but success is possible.

Your ex-partners have tried to control you and be the leaders of your life, so much so, that you have lost yourself a little in them. You are so devoted and ready to drop every plan for your partners, and it's so disappointing and hurtful for you when your partners don't put in the same effort. You need to be more independent and focus on your path in life. Believe and trust the Universe, don't try to control the outcome by refusing to let go of the past. You are being invited to welcome the highs and the lows of your soul experience in this lifetime. Some people and situations come into your life to teach you a lesson, not to be in your life forever. Take this situation as an opportunity to expand and grow, do not focus on the negative side. You are capable of finding true love once you stop living in the past, ignoring healing and pushing forward with strength and fortitude. You must not run from your issues, but attack them head on so you can be healed enough to find someone else who is healed, not broken like your ex. Create a routine and stick to it. Stop living your life chaotically and without intention. Also, do things that make you happy and bring you happiness. In the next months, you will work through any repressed issues or insecurities to find new confidence and clarity. You will start attracting good people into your life who will be there for you, care for and respect you. New friendships are coming into your life who will help you when you are feeling down and show you how much you mean to them. These friendships will help you improve your self-confidence and find new hobbies. There is a lot of abundance coming into your life and you will successfully overcome your problems!

Tips are appreciated at $DejaWash19 on Cashapp or Deja-Washington on Venmo!

Pile 3: Carnelian ❤️

Pile 3 is for those who are dependable yet have extreme dependency on other people's opinions! For some of you, you are the rock of your friend groups, families or anyone around you, really. You give to those around you, both your time and effort, yet you struggle to receive the same treatment back. Do not let people come into your space and dump their crap all over you and then leave. You are not the dumping ground for everyone's problems and energetic baggage. Be careful with who you let into your space, as it affects you more than you think. You are blocking your true love by being too accessible to everyone around you and not having enough respect for yourself to protect your energy. Your life is running aimlessly as it focuses on other's issues rather than your own. You fear change and when you find yourself in a situation where the next move is less than ideal/unpredictable, you remain stagnant. You are scared to sacrifice what you already have in fear of the next option not being any better. But life is about learning from mistakes and living freely. Stop worrying over nothing. Stop allowing your families issues take over your life. You are the person everyone goes to when they have a problem, or need someone to talk to. You hide your emotional side and don't ask for help back because you fear they won't understand you or you don't want to burden them with your problems. Reach out to your friends and family when you need to talk about something or you need help in your life. Don't let your pride or desire to be seen as independent and the person who has it all figure it out get in the way. Deeper bonds can be created when you reach out and admit you don't have all the answers and need help. Asking someone for help is a big step in your emotional and spiritual growth.

Bring the focus back to your own life and make yourself a priority. You need to find balance in your career/school and spend time with yourself and taking care of yourself. Don't take on too much you will burn yourself out. You need to celebrate your victories and everything you have learned so far, you always move on to the next thing and don't enjoy your achievements. Celebrate yourself and others will follow suit! Pat yourself on the back when you can, small wins are still wins! The levels of prosperity in your life are going to increase significantly. Whether is money, good friends, a healthy mind and body. Make sure you don't forget to express gratitude, you have earned all of them but being thankful and showing gratitude is the best way to increase prosperity in our lives. There is a new love coming into your life, very very soon.

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[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Hiya, I wrote quite a few times over the years, especially since your writing is something that feels warm and comforting to me. reading some of your older works makes me feel 15 again in quite a bittersweet nostalgic way but a welcomed one nonetheless. I spent many many months VERY sick this year and now that I’m getting back on track, I’m scared of something happening again. It is late night where I live and I stumbled upon a screenshot I have saved in my camera roll favorites, it’s a quote from one of the APTCH time stamps - “"Because sometimes what we think we want isn't what we need and we wind up with exactly what we needed in the First place. Life works in very odd ways sometimes." - I go back to this quote from time to time, and I did particularly in the many months I was sick, since I had to completely change my life and my career and all my projects and ambitions - alongside my normalcy - had been thrown out the window. I don’t know if you’ve read it somewhere of if you came up with it on your own but I find it beautiful, especially in the context you put it into. APTCH is definitely one of your fics that brings me comfort the most - I mean, who isn’t a sucker for comforting dad!jensen?!?! - anyways yeah, it’s late here, I’m nostalgic as hell as I’m about to start a new chapter in my life and once again i find myself looking for comfort in your familiar works. You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to but I’m writing what my thoughts and feelings are right now because you NEED TO KNOW how appreciated and loved you are even from so far on the other side of the ocean! because it is true. you’ve been bringing comfort to this little 15 year old Italian girl (not so 15 on the outside anymore lol) for years now and as silly and cheesy as it might sound, your work has kept me going even in my lowest and darkest moments. Even tho I have to say, what seemed so bad back then is not as bad now. As you grow and become an adult, you realize that you shouldn’t take anything for granted and that you life can be flipped upside down any moment ( in both a good or a bad way - as it was the latter for me just at the start of the year). Again yeah, you don’t have to reply to this long as message if you don’t feel like it but fuck, you’re so appreciated. I’ve been “growing up” with your fics and I feel silly to say this but I fear the day you’ll stop posting. I’LL SHUT UP NOW - I just needed to spill out, once again, how fucking appreciated you are. I hope I didn’t make any grammar mistakes, I apologize if there were any. I’ll sign with my name for once, - Fran , or 💙

Aw, well first off, thank you for such an endearing message! Always nice to wrap up a Monday on a good note! It means so much that you've found comfort in my stories. Honestly, that's why I keep sharing, especially APTCH. Escapism is entirely necessary, especially these days!

I came up with that quote on my own and it's something I try to live by, certainly as I grow older. Life doesn't go exactly where you expect (I mean, none of us were expecting a freaking pandemic were we?) but it teaches us to let go of the small stuff along the way too which is necessary. I plan on being around for quite awhile so don't be worried about me going anywhere!